#she's more of an adult than i am

[fluent-in-lesbianism]

Hi! I’ve been following your tumblr forever and im glad there’s still other queer woman in their 30s still on here. Like where did we all go! Hope you’re doing well! Take care.

Oh my god, exactly! But don't worry, I feel like we'll both be here well into our 90's. We can bond over the shit we see in our retirement homes.

But also, if you're in your 30's and you see this message (yay, you found your glasses!), please like this. I need to see more adults on my dash. I see too many kids in their 20's, tsk tsk. Babies.

[faaun]

last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.

[lil-vibes]

Lambert's sister, Marie and some sheep culture stuff for my verse :3

also me when doomed siblings again :((((((((

[brionysea]

I'm trying really hard not to just be The Complainer because that's an energy I don't want to bring here when I love (present tense; I rewatch it like 5 times a day) arcane season 1 so much but does anyone remember when powder was taken in by silco and being raised by this very utilitarian merciless 'the ends justify the means' type character made jinx turn out violent and merciless as well. and vi was horrified by her and the lanes were terrified of her and piltover was falling over itself trying to scapegoat her as the one bad apple of the undercity to kid themselves into believing that everyone else was perfectly fine with being treated as less than. and that contrasts vi after vander etc. died because she was raised by him and internalised the idea that no one wins in war and fighting back against systemic oppression isn't worth the damage it causes to your own community which is why she ended up working with cait and the council like vander worked with grayson. the people who raised them shaped them into who they are today but then in season 2 jinx has a daughter and she's suddenly completely normal and well adjusted and her attachment style isn't digging her nails in until she draws blood at all. like What. what happened. didn't things used to mean something

[myaatwins]

so. i know this isn't nothing new and there's probably a thousand (far more eloquently written) posts about this but! in light of chapter 166 i just wanted to reiterate this once more.

the movie arc seems like it's supposed to be about other characters understanding ai. who was ai hoshino? what were her flaws, her hopes, her dreams? she wasn't a goddess–far from it–so who was the real ai, the person rather than the idol?

and it failed on delivering. so bad!!!!

sure we have a bit about ruby Starting to understand ai. nothing from aqua because who cares right. because if aqua actually came to understand ai how could we have the tragic but "hopeful" ending?

ai's dream was never to perform at the dome.

the dome was always ichigo and miyako's dream. ai, being the The Ultimate People Pleaser, just smiled and nodded–acted as if she were happy.

so it's really weird how performing at the dome was reframed to be ai's dream, the fate that she could never fulfill–but hey it's okay because ruby will!!!

there was no need for history to be rewritten and this actually just makes it seem (no matter what the actual intent was) that the others never did learn to see through ai's facade.

(also might i add that this is also harmful to ruby's character in the sense that she is not allowed to have her own dreams. it would have been perfectly fine for her to want to perform at the dome because it was what SHE wanted to do but. alas after a certain point of the story ruby is not allowed to exist outside of brocon jokes or to be anything other than ai 2: electric boogaloo)

was her dream for ruby to be an idol and for aqua to be an actor?

when ai said that she imagined a future where ruby was an idol and aqua was an actor she didn't say it because that was her dream.

personally i think that because ai was dying and she knew it would cause her children pain she wanted them to know that their futures could still be bright and that they should have hope!! i don't even think she gave it much thought other than that they looked happy and like they had fun performing!!! which made her happy!!!!!!!

but she never would have imposed that future on them. ai knew about the entertainment world and she never would have forced her babies to be a part of it unless they wanted to.

so what were ai's dreams? easy: for her loved ones to be safe and happy.

this. that's it.

so

"the future that mama [...] illuminated for me"

is it though? would ai have wanted this? would she want the man that she had loved–who she had known as a boy who was hurting and who needed someone to be there for him–to die as nothing more than a cartoonish villain? would she want ruby to have to pretend she wasn't miserable so she could fulfill ai's not-dream of performing at the dome? would she want her precious son, who she loved from the moment she saw him on the ultrasound, to die a gruesome, painful death, even though he so desperately wanted to live?

not in a million years.

[brown-little-robin]

I think I'm in the "conscious incompetence" stage of being a social animal in the real world and it sucks so majorly. bro what do you do after you realize you're bad at socializing and then in-person interaction gets harder because you know you're failing at it now.

[hypogryffin]

So, due to the many parallels between her and Akane, Narukami being involved, and the ages (kinda maybe, I dunno) lining up, would Nanako make an appearance in P5SI?

Also, I have nothing but love for the concept, I was just curious. Thank you, and have a nice day! ^^

nanako would maybe make an appearance over a call or something in narukami's s.link at most due to yknow. being in inaba, but i imagine narukami bringing her up a lot in s.link events! p5si takes place in the 2019-2020 school year, so nanako would be a 1st year at yasogami at this point in time. just a year behind akane

[ano-po]

The canon event where you move out of your Asian household and you realize you can throw your single-use plastic bags/containers because you have glass, ceramic, or woven baskets to keep your things. Your mind says "what if there is a new thing you must contain?" but you answer with "I don't have much to contain anyway." You have one eco bag that also works as a tote bag sometimes. It's holding on. It's very sturdy. You use it for books and groceries and gadgets. It's only one and you don't feel the need to buy another. You throw away the batteries (safely) that are empty, because what's the need to keep them around, only to be forgotten? Most of your things are solar-powered and rechargeable anyway. You don't buy clothes that you think you'll use somehow. You only have 5 sets of carefully thrifted clothes or heavily saved long-lasting designers. They're all adjustable. You accepted that the human body is ever flunctuating. You realize you don't have to keep that scrap of fabric. You bought one microfiber cloth you use for every kind of surface. You can squeeze it and it's all dry, not staying in the kitchen wet and slimy. You realize you can throw away the sticks you found in the woods NOPE NOPE I NEED THESE STICKS HERE thaNk you very much these are good sticks see KALI-KALI SIZE WOW nope these are staying!

[quietwingsinthesky]

people are saying he « led her on » because he did. the fact that he kissed her in the first episode set the tone for the rest of the season and if you can’t perceive the flirting I’m sorry but how?? he didn’t make anything clear he sent the craziest mixed signals in the world. there’s nothing revolutionary about claiming that Martha was being pushy toward someone who was clearly not interested it’s 1) weird to claim in what it suggests about her 2) factually not true.

I wasn’t gonna respond to this at first because the top half of this ask is pretty much just individual interpretation and I don’t really care about it. Like, no, to me, the Doctor doesn’t seem especially flirty towards Martha. He’s just sort of Like That. That’s his damage, you know, Mr. I need to traumadump on anyone who tolerates being around me for more than five minutes. Mr. If I don’t develop an intensely codependent emotional bond with the companion I have currently I’ll die. It doesn’t read to me as him trying to lead her on because that bit’s honest, and he does it with damn near every companion he’s ever had.

And if nothing else, because we do see Ten when he tries to flirt intentionally and he’s a fuckin dork about it. Kind of guy who looked up romance in the dictionary and took notes. Kinda guy who draws diagrams to maximize kissing potential. It would have been obvious even to me (<- romance-blind as all fuck) if he was flirting with Martha on purpose because he’s not smooth at all; he flirts like he’s gotten lines in a play and he’s super excited to be the main star.

But anyway, as I was saying, that’s just how I see it. And if you see it different, no skin off my back, I just disagree.

But I take umbrage with you putting words in my mouth. I never said Martha was pushy towards him. Because yeah, she’s not. If I implied that she was, then it was a result of poor phrasing on my part. Martha’s not at fault for what she feels, for wanting there to come something of it. No more at fault than the Doctor is for not returning those feelings. It’s a bit weird that you’re assuming that I think one of them has to be the bad guy here when that was the opposite of what I was saying. My point was: When it comes to their romantic subtext of their relationship, it’s weird to pretend like either of them are to blame for them not being in a relationship at the end of s3, and even weirder to assert that as part of why Martha supposedly wouldn’t like the Doctor afterwards when they’re. friends. they continue to be friends into s4.

Martha’s not pushy. She has a crush on her friend. It happens. He doesn’t return it. This also happens. Both of these facts are pushed to the extreme because he’s a time-traveling alien with poor emotional skills and she’s put herself in the position of needing to help him from minute one of meeting each other. That’s why it’s fun to watch, because the Doctor is both so open and so unavailable in turns, because Martha’s feelings for him grow and change as she knows more about her Doctor until she decides to step back.

I don’t know, man. You seem to be coming at this as if one of them has to be The Problem™️. I don’t think either of them is, not so definitively. I think boiling their relationship down to that is reductive and an insult to the way they both grow over s3, to Martha’s choice to continue to be his friend while also establishing her own boundaries, to the fact that the Doctor is able to let her go without immediately trying to kill himself afterwards when she’s not there to catch him.

[vaguely-concerned]

the parallels between morrigan and the mage warden (especially one who snitched on jowan and so isn't automatically doomed if they stay in the circle) both being unceremoniously kicked out by their parental figures from the isolated nests they've been cooped up in all their lives and sent flailing out into the real world to test their wings. the love that you can read in between the lines there from irving, and even flemeth -- in both cases this is a cause of action taken partly to save their children (from the circle, from the blight, from the isolation and constriction they would be doomed to otherwise), and in both cases it also opens them up to a world of new dangers. (I wonder if irving knows how many grey warden recruits die right off the bat. from his general character I think he might take that chance even if he knew because otherwise the circle is all but inescapable, but from what he says to amell/surana at the time and how set duncan is to keep that particular detail on the down low I feel more on the side of him not being aware.)

irving at least is encouraging and explains the outlines of what he's thinking even in his hurry to get you out the door, flemeth takes the opportunity to get in a few more stabs of emotional abuse haha. but I think my amell looks at morrigan's shock and partial dismay to be sent away with them so abruptly (and despite everything, the sting of it being so easy to do on her mother's part, emotionally) and feels a sympathetic sinking in her stomach. because yeah she knows that feeling too

[autistic-katara]

icl i would be at least a little happy with almost any ending for stranger things but one thing that would ruin all of it would be an epilogue (of a decade or more later)

[tinystepsforward]

ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".

like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!

on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.

returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body

literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence

[freakoutgirl]

My mom is always like "you were suchhh an easy kid compared to your brothers, you didn't even cry the first night home from the hospital it was so weird. I never had to worry about you since I knew you could handle yourself" meanwhile I as a kid always felt like

[neanderthyall]

Living with ur mom as an adult is like.... being extorted constantly. I have a zoom interview. "You should use my headphones." No thanks im good. "They'll block out the other sounds." its okay, it'll be fine. "They'll think your unprofessional if you get interrupted by a loud noise." I dont want to use your headphones. Why are you raising your voice at me. Why wont you stop trying to make me do what you want. We have already had this conversation twice, it is not that serious. Why are you being short with me now. We cant keep having this conversation.

"Dont leave your lights on." Ok sorry i just forgot. "You left the lights on again" yeah because i was coming back to that room. "You just have to make sure you turn them off" i know. "Dont get cheeky with me" i! Am! Just! Existing! But! Now! I! Am! Being! Surveilled! Constantly!

[amelikos]

Thinking about the portrayal of ancestry in Horizons.

[lingerbythecranberries1993]

i can’t stop thinking about my boss telling me that i need to “gentle parent” one of the teachers in my classroom who i am having issues with (issues being that she criticizes my every move i make in MY classroom and is operating at a level of incompetency that in any other workplace would get her written up—incompetency that includes inaction when witnessing a child in a medical emergency) because she’s allegedly behaving out of line due to “having a hard time in her personal life.” i am supposed to. gentle parent. my coworker. twice my age. that daily. tells me. how much i suck. and how horrible i am. gentle parent her. in the face of her treating me and my teachers aide like. like garbage. gentle. parent. her.