#she's just so strong and brave and i want her and clown meat to be a family

[witchygod]

[withthingsunreal]

hey guys

did y’all know there’s a limit to how many links you can have in a post

adventure time masterpost part one

♥=my favourites Ω=significant plot (though sometimes this is not immediately obvious) ♪=a song happens ♫=a personal fave song happens ¿=just don’t try to think about it too hard okay

SEASON SIX

Ω 6x01/6x02 - Wake Up/Escape from the Citadel [WATCH] - Finn and Jake need to get to the Citadel, and Prismo agrees to help. But the Lich beats them to it, and it seems he's got some plans of his own.

♥ 6x03- James II [WATCH] - An excess of James.

6x04- The Tower [WATCH] [alt]- Finn's missing his arm, so he decides to build a tower into space so he can punch his dad and steal HIS arm instead. Solid plan, right?

¿ 6x05 - Sad Face [WATCH] - A circus, and a clown.

♪ 6x06 - Breezy [WATCH] - Finn's flower isn't doing so well, and Finn himself isn't feeling anything, but his new bee friend Breezy wants to help. Stay tuned for spook (me, that's me) starting a petition to retitle this show 'what the hell did I just watch.'

¿ 6x07 - Food Chain [WATCH] - Finn and Jake learn about the food chain by, um, living it.

6x08- Furniture & Meat [WATCH] - Mo' treasure, mo' problems.

6x09 - The Prince Who Wanted Everything [WATCH] - LSPrincess has a story to share with the Ice King, and LSPrince has a lesson to learn from Fionna the Human.

6x10 - Something Big [WATCH] - Something something Maja something Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant something something feelings?? Listen I don't know what I'm watching anymore ok

♪ 6x11 - Little Brother [WATCH] - Shelby has an accident, ends up with a little brother, and turns to Jake for brotherly advice. Well, giving Finn a sword worked out pretty well...

6x12 - Ocarina [WATCH] - Kim Kil Whan buys the treehouse and tries to teach Jake a lesson about responsibility. It goes suuuper well.

6x13 - Thanks for the Crabapples, Giuseppe [WATCH] - Ice King and his fellow offbeats go on a wizard road trip to form their own secret society.

6x14- Princess Day [WATCH] - Breakfast Princess gets rude with LSP. Mistake! Time for her and Marceline to mess up the Breakfast Kingdom way bad.

6x15 - Nemesis [WATCH] - There's a great evil in the Candy Kingdom which must be stopped.

6x16 - Joshua and Margaret Investigations [WATCH] - Finn and Jake's parents fought monsters, too! Even when their mom was way super about-to-pop pregnant, apparently.

6x17 - Ghost Fly [WATCH] - Jake kills a fly, because flies are disgusting. But ghost flies seem to be worse. Oops?

6x18 - Everything's Jake [WATCH] - Bender searches inside himself and finds that Fry has been with him all along Jake goes on an inner journey, but like, literally. not really spiritually so much.

♥ 6x19 - Is That You? [WATCH] - Jake and Finn mourn Prismo, and then things get super bananas up in their dreamspace.

6x20 - Jake the Brick [WATCH] - Jake observes nature as he spends some time as just another brick in the wall.

6x21 - Dentist [WATCH] - Finn's tooth is in real bad shape, and he has to face facts: it is time for him to Go Dentist.

6x22 - The Cooler [WATCH] - There's a crisis in the Flame Kingdom, and FP makes the (objectively terrible??) decision to turn to PB for help.

6x23 - Pajama Wars [WATCH] - Sleepover in the Candy Kingdom! Nothing terrible is happening.

Ω 6x24 - Evergreen [WATCH] - Master Evergreen and his lizardy minion Gunther attempt to save the world.

¿Ω 6x25 - Astral Plane [WATCH] - Finn goes on an astral adventure, and sees some junk that may be relevant soon.

6x26 - Gold Stars [WATCH] - Sweet P starts school, and makes some new (terrible) friends.

6x27 - The Visitor [WATCH] - Finn follows his dream from Astral Plane and finds his least favourite massive disappointment at the end of the trail.

6x28 - The Mountain [WATCH] - It’s a Lemongrab episode. I don’t know anymore.

6x29 - Dark Purple [WATCH] - Susan Strong and some brave hyoomans on a rescue mission.

6x30 - The Diary [WATCH] - Fandom can be a consuming thing. TV finds an old diary and gets a little too into it.

6x31 - Walnuts & Rain [WATCH] - Finn and Jake get separated and go on different (weird) journeys.

6x32 - Friends Forever [WATCH] - Ice King tries to make himself some new friends. It goes terribly.

6x33 - Jermaine [WATCH] - After Jake has a shared dream with Jermaine, the boys go to visit their brother, who’s still living in their childhood home.

6x34 - Chips and Ice Cream [WATCH] - Chips, chips chips chips. Ice cream ice cream. (A travelling performer passes his curse on to Jake. It doesn’t go well.)

6x35 - Graybles 1000+ [WATCH] - Graybles, again, some more. Apparently the Candy Kingdom is still around however much further in the future, and someone’s still putting up string lights at Marceline’s. So there’s that.

6x36 - Hoots [WATCH] - The Cosmic Owl gets distracted by a mystery lady’s pretty set of tailfeathers.

6x37 - Water Park Prank [WATCH] - Finn and Jake (and the Ice King) spend the day at the water park.

6x38 - You Forgot Your Floaties [WATCH] - Magic Man, up to his usual biz, but this time he’s getting a helping hand from Betty. No way this will go horribly wrong??

6x39 - Be Sweet [WATCH] - For some inexplicable reason, Tree Trunks thinks LSP is a good choice for a babysitter. Yikes.

6x40 - Orgalorg [WATCH] - Gunther and the Gunts throw a houseparty.

6x41 - On the Lam [WATCH] - Martin finds another group of adorable creatures to try to exploit. yay.

6x42/6x43 - Hot Diggity Doom/The Comet [WATCH] - An election in the Candy Kingdom, and an impending catastrophe.

SEASON SEVEN

7x01 - Bonnie & Neddy [WATCH] - The King of Ooo continues his efforts to be the worst. PB has to help someone important to her get back to where he belongs.

7x02 - Varmints [WATCH] - Bubblegum tries to protect her pumpkin patch; Marceline lends a hand.

7x03 - Cherry Cream Soda [WATCH] - A candy citizen comes back from the dead, causing some complications for those he’d left behind.

7x04 - Mama Said [WATCH] - While out on a mission for the King of Ooo, Finn and Jake run into Billy’s ex-gf Canyon and decide to help her out instead.

7x05 - Football [WATCH] - BMO tries to do something nice for a friend. It does not go well.

7x06/7x07 - Stakes: Marceline the Vampire Queen/Everything Stays [WATCH] - Marceline has a favour to ask of PB, which results in her reflecting on the last thousand years of her life.

7x08 - Stakes: Vamps About [WATCH] - Marceline’s old nemeses are back, and she’s absolutely down to take ‘em all on again.

7x09 - Stakes: The Empress Eyes [WATCH] - Targeting the Ice King? Possibly not the greatest plan a vampire could have.

7x10 - Stakes: May I Come In [WATCH] - Jake finds his courage.

7x11 - Stakes: Take Her Back [WATCH] - Marceline’s out of commission, so it’s up to Finn and Jake to take on The Moon.

7x12 - Stakes: Checkmate [WATCH] - Four down, one to go.

♫ 7x13 - Stakes: The Dark Cloud [WATCH] - Marceline has to decide what she’s fighting for.

7x14/7x15 - The More You Moe/The Moe You Know [WATCH (watermarked)] - It's BMO's birthday, and a special guest is coming with a special mission for our lil robot buddy. yay?

7x16 - Summer Showers [WATCH] - Viola helps LSP put on a play, and Jake is super proud.

7x17 - Angel Eyes [WATCH] - BMO bribes Finn and Jake into playing cowboys and bandits.

7x18 - President Porpoise Is Missing! [WATCH] - An undersea authority figure appears to have vanished.

7x19 - Blank-Eyed Girl [WATCH] - Urban legends may or may not be baloney, and may or may not be out to get you.

7x20 - Bad Jubies [WATCH] - One heck of a storm brewing up some real nasty vibes.

7x21 - King's Ransom [WATCH] - Ice King isn't going to let anything stop him from rescuing his best bud, and Finn and Jake have got his back.

7x22 - Scamps [WATCH] - Finn rehabilitates some bad seeds.

7x23 - Crossover [WATCH] - Prismo needs Finn and Jake’s help with a junked-up timeline.

7x24 - The Hall of Egress [WATCH] - A dungeon keeps hitting the reset button every time Finn tries to exit.

7x25 - Flute Spell [WATCH] - Does Finn have a new girl in his life, or is he working on a different sort of magic?

7x26 - The Thin Yellow Line [WATCH] - It Is Okay To Be You, ft. The Banana Guards

7x27 - Broke His Crown [WATCH] - Bonnie and Marcie try to have a dinner date with the IK, but his crown is up to some weird biz.

7x28 - Don’t Look [WATCH] - Finn fails to follow the literal only instruction given.

7x29 - Beyond the Grotto [WATCH] - Sea lard rescue 911

7x30 - Lady Rainicorn of the Crystal Dimension [WATCH] - TV finds a weird box.

7x31 - I Am A Sword [WATCH] - FinnSword gets straight up hijacked.

7x32 - Bun Bun [WATCH] - Remember how Cinnamon Bun used to be... just, like, generally bad? at doing things? okay that but smaller.

7x33 - Normal Man [WATCH] - Normal Man needs some hero help to return Glob to Mars.

7x34 - Elemental [WATCH] - An... ice... princess? kinda??

7x35 - Five Short Tables [WATCH] - Fionna and Cake try to make some artsy-ass flapjacks.

7x36 - The Music Hole [WATCH] - Music happens, some of it on a stage.

7x37 - Daddy-Daughter Card Wars [WATCH] - Charlie helps her Papa work through some card-related stuff.

Ω 7x38/7x39 - Preboot/Reboot [WATCH] - Finn, Jake, and Susan visit a very scientific establishment.

SEASON EIGHT

8x01 - Two Swords [WATCH] - So when a FinnSword and a Grass Sword meet... sometimes some stuff can go the hell down.

8x02 - Do No Harm [WATCH] - Finn and Grass Finn try stuff out.

8x03 - Wheels [WATCH] - Jake tries to connect with his granddaughter by proving he’s cool.

8x04 - High Strangeness [WATCH] - Tree Trunks loves... revolution (｡•`_´•���)

8x05 - Horse and Ball [WATCH] - James Baxter rides again.

8x06 - Jelly Beans Have Power [WATCH] - PB tries to get a handle on the elemental powers thing.

Ω 8x07 - Islands: The Invitation [WATCH] - Susan sent out a distress signal, and a response has arrived.

8x08 - Islands: Whipple the Happy Dragon [WATCH] - Hazardous seas, or Here There Be Dragons.

Ω 8x09 - Islands: Mysterious Island [WATCH] - Finn gets separated from his friends, but makes a new one.

Ω 8x10 - Islands: Imaginary Resources [WATCH] - BMO helps Finn and Jake get acquainted with the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of virtual reality gaming.

Ω♪ 8x11 - Islands: Hide and Seek [WATCH] - Memories of island life.

Ω 8x12 - Islands: Min & Marty [WATCH] - Minerva Campbell and Martin Mertens get to know each other.

Ω 8x13 - Islands: Helpers [WATCH] - Finn meets his mom.

Ω 8x14 - Islands: The Light Cloud [WATCH] - The conflicting desires to protect your child while also allowing them to grow and thrive.

SEASON NINE

9x01 - Orb [WATCH] - Some very normal dreamscapes on the return journey to Ooo.

9x02 - Elements: Skyhooks [WATCH] - The boys make it home but things are looking... different.

9x03 - Elements: Bespoken For [WATCH] - The Ice King has a story to tell about a hot date he had, and also tangentially the current state of things.

9x04 - Elements: Winter Light [WATCH] - A visit to the Ice Kingdom.

9x05 - Elements: Cloudy [WATCH] - Finn needs to calm down, and Jake needs to potty.

9x06 - Elements: Slime Central [WATCH] - It's Slime Time baybee

9x07 - Elements: Happy Warrior [WATCH] - A normal one in the Flame Kingdom.

9x08 - Elements: Hero Heart [WATCH] - LSP tries to help Finn listen to his hero heart, while PB just wants everyone to be a little bit sweeter.

9x09 - Elements: Skyhooks II [WATCH] - Let's Get Lumpy.

9x10 - Abstract [WATCH] - Jake is wary of some changes in Jermaine.

9x11 - Ketchup [WATCH] - Marceline and BMO catch up on recent events.

9x12 - Fionna and Cake and Fionna [WATCH] - Ice King gets to hang with the REAL Fionna.

9x13 - Whispers [WATCH] - Finn and Fern help Sweet Pea with some nightmares.

9x14 - Three Buckets [WATCH] - Finn and Fern spend some uhhh quality time together

SEASON TEN

10x01 - The Wild Hunt [WATCH] - Huntress Wizard needs some assistance, and Finn has some junk to work through.

10x02 - Always BMO Closing [WATCH] - BMO and Ice King team up to become a door-to-door salesman.

10x03 - Son of Rap Bear [WATCH] - FP needs to work on her rap game.

10x04 - Bonnibel Bubblegum [WATCH] - Family junk is complicated.

10x05 - Seventeen [WATCH] - It’s Finn’s birthday! Let’s get Arthurian up in here.

10x06 - Ring of Fire [WATCH] - The marvelous misadventures of Tree Trunks.

10x07 - Marcy + Hunson [WATCH] - Marceline’s dad is in town and totally embarrassing her again.

10x08 - The First Investigation [WATCH] - Finn and Jake look into some haunted happenings at Joshua and Margaret Investigations

10x09 - Blenanas [WATCH] - Finn wants the highest possible authority to weigh in on whether or not he is funny.

10x10 - Jake the Starchild [WATCH] - Jake’s gotta save the world. No, a different one.

10x11 - Temple of Mars [WATCH] - Jermaine and Finn gotta rescue Jake, and in the process maybe help Betty work through some things.

10x12 - Gumbaldia [WATCH] - Peace talks.

♥Ω♫ 10x13 - Come Along With Me [WATCH] - Everything stays, but it still changes.

[eddie-boii]

Never Let You Go (part 12/14)

Fic info: Both Eddie and Stan live because I do what I want. Multichapter.

Rating: Teen and up (may change). Language.

Pairings: Reddie, Benverly.

Ao3 link: here

Summary: The Losers prepare for a wedding. Bill’s big speech. 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

*

The Losers sat either side of Ben and Bev at the grand table at the head of the dining hall overlooking all the other guests, and Audra and Patty sat with them beside their respective husbands, honorary Losers in their own right.

Eddie was seated beside Richie, much to the amusement of the others who he still hadn’t forgiven for their little betting pool. As far as he was concerned, Ben, Audra and Patty were now his only friends. That was until Patty had quite seriously asked him how long he and Richie had been together and Audra had spat her drink all over his food when he’d said they weren’t dating. Ben was his only friend now.

Richie, for his part, didn’t seem at all embarrassed by the fact that the others had a betting pool or that Bill had revealed his childhood crush on Eddie. At least, he didn’t show it. He was too busy spouting off his usual terrible jokes to whoever would listen to him. He’d had a few drinks at this point, though seemed to have actually listened to Eddie’s rants about his liver for once as he wasn’t as drunk as he usually tended to get. Or maybe he just wanted to actually remember this day.

Eddie couldn’t deny that he was a little disappointed that Richie hadn’t properly danced with him, but he was a little relieved too. Being that close to Richie after just finding out that he’d had a crush on him as a kid, plus the fact that the others seemed to think that crush was still ongoing, that Eddie’s feelings were actually reciprocated… It was more than he felt he could handle, honestly. He wondered if Richie would actually participate in that ‘talk’ Ben had mentioned, or if he’d chicken out as he usually did when things got serious. Part of Eddie hoped he would and they’d never mention it again, but another part of him wondered what would happen if they did, if it turned out mutual feelings really were shared…

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Bill standing and tapping a fork against his glass to get everyone’s attention, and Eddie guessed it was time for his big speech. He’d been kind of worried about it, honestly; Bill’s stutter still hadn’t gone away after returning to Derry and it tended to get worse when he was nervous, and he just knew this room full of uncaring strangers would think he was stupid or something because they wouldn’t understand. He didn’t want to have to watch the flickers of amusement followed by careful, polite blankness to pass over their faces. He knew Bill got plenty of that already.

But he should’ve known Bill wasn’t the type to let such things get to him. He smiled at his audience, standing tall and proud, the confident leader he always was.

“Hello, everyone. The b-b-bride asked me t-to say a ff-few words.”

Eddie watched the exact expressions he’d predicted flicker across the crowd and he scowled.

“Thh-thing is, I know n-no one wants to sit there ll-listening to me sss-st-stutter for an hour,” Bill continued and a wave of slightly hesitant laughter swept over the audience. Bill only smiled. “I ww-won’t make you,” he said. “See people like m-me, we have a way to cheat.” He picked up his drink and swirled it around contemplatively. “Some people d-don’t stutter when they’re d-d-drunk or alone or ss-singing.” He grinned. “But I won’t ss-subject you to that either. My w-wife will tell you I can’t ss-sing to save my life. There is one thing I can do ww-without s-st-stuttering, though, and that’s tell stories. So, h-here’s one I wrote specially for tonight. I just hope you like the ending.”

Here cleared his throat as silence fell over the room. No one cared about his stutter now; here was the famous author William Denborough about the tell a story he’d written especially for this night. An exclusive tale that would only be heard by the people in that room.

“A long time ago,” he began in a manner befitting many fairy tales, “back when TVs were boxes and shoulder pads were the epitome of fashion and people were really excited about the thought of Star Wars prequels, there lived seven kids. A kid with an awful stutter, a quiet Jewish kid, a little hypochondriac with an overprotective mother, a four-eyed weirdo with a loud mouth, an orphaned black kid in a town of white republicans, a fat new kid who looked like fresh meat to a pack of monsters, and a girl who people whispered nasty things about, who the men in her life saw as a toy.”

The Losers looked at each other as he spoke, smiling a little at the way Bill had described them. Characters in a story, heroes in a fairy tale.

“By all outward appearances,” Bill continued, “these kids were unremarkable. They were losers, in fact, something they heard shouted at them so often, spat in their faces as they were beaten down, that it was ingrained in their minds as simply a fact. 

“The town the kids grew up in was a place ruled by a monster.”

A chill went over Eddie as he realised where this story was going. He didn’t need reminding of those events, but the way Bill told it had him listening intently anyway.

“The monster was a terrible thing,” said Bill, “a devourer of worlds that knew every one of their secrets, all their deepest darkest fears. It lurked around every corner, watching and waiting to dig Its claws in and feast on the kids, feed on their fear. It changed Itself, shifted into the things they were most afraid of. A lost child blaming his big brother for his death, a warped and twisted painting with soulless eyes, a gruesome leper consumed by its disease until it was barely human, trapped parents screaming for their child as they burned in flames… So many things, but Its favourite form was that of a clown. You may think that’s far less scary than the other forms It took, but this looked like no ordinary clown. Its limbs were disproportionately long for Its body and Its head far too large, Its painted smile as dark red as blood and stretching up Its cheeks right up to Its bug-like eyes that never looked straight. And when It smiled, Its drool dripped like a waterfall down Its chin, so hungry It was for the kids, so eager It was to devour their delicious, terrified souls.

“But for all the taunts and threats and beatings the kids dealt with, it turned out that, more then anything, they were brave, and even braver still around each other. They grew close, fought off their shared enemies together, became friends, the kind of friends who leave a mark on each other, one that never fades. And they came together to fight this monster, to send it back where It belonged, where It couldn’t make them afraid anymore. They tried, at least. One got hurt-” To his right, Eddie felt Richie twitch ever so slightly, and when he looked over, his mouth was set in a thin line- “but the others made sure the monster didn’t get him. They fought It off and It slithered back into Its hiding place, but it didn’t go away, not completely.

“The kids may have won that fight, but they were scared and hurt and one had almost died. So they fought, and they split up, and they went back to being losers.

“Until the monster took the girl.”

Eddie glanced over in time to see Ben swallow thickly and Beverly took his hand, squeezing it gently beneath the table.

“It snatched her away,” said Bill, “and took her back to Its lair. But the girl was strong, stronger than the monster had bargained for, and she fought It. She told It she wasn’t afraid and It realised It would go hungry without the sweet meal of her fear, so It trapped her there, locked her away inside her own head, sleeping like a princess in a fairy tale.

“When the others found out, they put aside their differences and came together to rescue her. They stole away down into Its lair, defeating one of Its minions along the way, and they found the girl suspended in the air and gazing blankly into space like she was lost to the world. They pulled her down, but try as they might, they couldn’t get her to wake up. Then one boy, the little fat new kid who no one thought would ever have any friends but who had found them all the same, remembered the fairy stories of his childhood and how the sleeping princess could be woken with true love’s kiss.” 

Ben now smiled shyly at this, a light blush spreading across his cheeks which Bev pressed a kiss to before resting her head on his shoulder.

“This girl had been his first friend out of all of them,” said Bill. “The first one to be kind to him when no one else was, and he loved her dearly but knew a little fat boy had no chance with a pretty girl like her. Still, he was desperate, scared, in a horrible place where the monster could be hiding anywhere ready to pounce, and he needed to save her no matter what it took. So he pressed his lips to hers, and for a moment it seemed like it had done nothing and it was just a notion better left to fairy stories after all, but then the girl blinked, and the blank look faded from her eyes, and she looked at the boy and smiled, for she realised that in that town of horrible men who saw her as meat and treated her as such, this boy truly loved her.”

Bev smiled, little pinpricks of tears beading on her eyelashes and she looked down at Ben’s hand in hers, resting in her lap as she played idly with his fingers. 

“The kids were all together once more,” Bill continued, “and when the monster came for them, they were braver than ever standing together. It took one in Its clutches - the stuttering boy - and told the others It would leave them in peace if they went away and let It devour this boy alone, but they refused. They would not abandon him, for he was their friend, and when they were all together, they weren’t so afraid of this monster anymore. The loudmouthed boy attacked It and the others followed suit, and It had to let go of the stuttering boy to defend Itself, but it was no use. The kids were strong, they were brave, they were fearless. They’d been beaten down their whole lives, had the word ‘loser’ screamed at them, but now they owned it. They were the Losers, and they always would be, but that didn’t mean they were anything less than anyone else, that didn’t mean they weren’t smart and strong and beautiful and wholly, completely incredible.”

Every one of the Losers was looking at Bill now, up at their fearless leader as he effortlessly captivated the room, his words flowing from his mouth seamlessly as he spoke of his friends, his voice and expression filled with pride.

“The Losers fought the monster,” he said, “the embodiment of all their deepest fears, and they defeated It, of course they did, for the Losers could do anything when they were all together. And the monster slunk away into Its hole, into the darkest corners of the world where It would remain for many years, and where It would go hungry.

“The Losers stayed together afterwards, and they swore that if the monster ever returned, then they’d return too and defeat It for good. They’d defeated a great evil that day and forged something else in its place, something pure and wonderful. They were bonded, a bond deeper than most people could dream of. Even if they separated, even if the years stretched out and they forgot about each other, they’d never truly be parted from one another, and they would always reunite in the end. It wasn’t a friendship, not really. That word wasn’t deep enough for them, didn’t contain enough meaning. Family, maybe, but not quite. Their bond was something bone-deep, etched into their souls, stretching across the fabric of the universe no matter how far apart they were. They were the Losers, but that was the odd thing; they owned that term, accepted it as their identity, and it was a clear thing to everyone who met them. But the reality was, they never felt like losers when they were with each other.”

Bill smiled as he finished before taking his seat once more, and Audra kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand under the table. The audience before them wore a mixture of mild confusion and contentment on their faces, enraptured by the story but perplexed by its origin, before they all broke back into normal conversation or made their ways back over to the dance floor. 

But the Losers possessed no such blissful ignorance; they knew that story was no mere fiction, had lived it, but even so, the way Bill had woven the words and made them out to be heroes, people to be admired, it was… Eddie didn’t know the word for what he was feeling, but he knew it wasn’t bad. He thought being reminded of that time would be awful, would send him spiralling into a panic attack, but the way Bill told it, it wasn’t about the clown or the fear or the pain, it was about the Losers and the unbreakable bonds they’d forged together. He looked across at them all, at Bill, Ben, Bev, Mike, Stan, and Richie. His family, the people he loved most in the world, and who loved him. Who cared for him and looked after him more than his mother ever did.

“Not bad, Big Bill,” he said, breaking the silence that had fallen across their table even in the midst of all the chatter from the other guests. “Not bad at all.”

“Yeah, the ending didn’t completely suck,” said Richie. “Wild.”

Bill snorted and punched his arm lightly. “Ss-shhut the fuck up, Trashmouth.”

“It was amazing, Bill,” said Ben.

“Thank you,” said Bev, smiling at him softly, tears still pricking her eyes.

“Wait a minute,” said Audra, frowning. “Who was the fat kid?”

“That was Ben,” said Stan.

“What the fuck? No way!” exclaimed Audra, turning to stare at Ben and his defined muscles. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I lost a few pounds,” Ben mumbled, blushing.

“He was just as handsome back then,” said Bev and Ben blushed even more. “Totally adorable.”

“I need to see pictures, stat,” said Audra. “I still can’t believe I was deprived of Billy’s friends coz of that weird psycho clown.”

“How long did it take you to believe him?” said Richie, and Eddie grinned at the thought of Bill trying to explain all that to Audra. He was very glad he never had to explain anything to Myra.

“Not long,” said Audra. “Mike came round and gave me some weird drug.”

“I still wanna try that,” said Richie. 

“Not a chance,” said Mike.

“I believed Stan straight away,” said Patty. “What’s this about a drug?”

“You don’t wanna know,” said Bill.

The last thing to do was cut the cake, a glorious, towering masterpiece of white icing with little models of the bride and groom perched right at the top. Bev and Ben smushed pieces into each other’s faces, smearing the creamy white icing everywhere, figuring they’d at least keep the fun wedding traditions. The guests started heading out one by one after that until it was only the extended Losers left in the grand room. They milled about the room, chatting away to each other with the same ease they always had. No one ever felt left out or uncomfortable when they were all together like that.

Eddie leaned against the wall beside Richie, sharing a slice of cake between them.

“What’d you think of Bill’s speech?” said Richie with a mouthful of icing. Eddie grimaced at the cake crumbs falling from his mouth. “Pretty sappy, huh?”

“Super sappy,” Eddie agreed. “But I don’t know, I kinda liked it. Sappy fits with today, you know?”

“Guess so,” said Richie, his eyes moving to Ben and Bev who had the dance floor all to themselves and were holding each other close, swaying slightly to the soft music that still drifted through the room. He watched them for a minute then turned to grin at Eddie. “Really think you and I have a bone-deep bond stretching across the universe?”

“All of us, not just you and me,” Eddie scoffed. “You fucking wish, Trashmouth.”

“Aw, you know you love me, Eddie-spaghetti.”

“Don’t call me that,” said Eddie, not bothering to deny the love part. He hoped Richie wouldn’t notice.

“So, what are the sleeping arrangements tonight?” said Richie. “Ya know, now you can’t hide with Bev. You gonna take Ben’s room?”

Eddie focused on getting a bit of cake on his fork to avoid looking at Richie. “Um.” He coughed. “All my stuff’s still in your room, and I’m tired and- I mean - The bed’s big enough for two, right?” He glanced up at Richie to find him staring at him, but then Richie coughed and looked away.

“Yeah, it’s huge. We’d still be miles apart even if we shared,” he said, speaking too quickly.

“Not really worth the trouble moving then, is it?” said Eddie. “Plus-” He paused staring at the ground - “we need to have that talk at some point, don’t we?”

“Yeah,” said Richie and his voice sounded a little hoarse. “Yeah, I guess we do.”

They wandered around some more but then decided that the wait was more agonising than the actual talk was going to be, so they said their goodnights to the others and headed upstairs to their shared room.

Eddie was filled with nervous energy as they walked side by side. They didn’t talk - they’d do plenty of that in a moment - but still, the silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable, even with the dread of what they were about to discuss. It never was uncomfortable with Richie. Bill was right; all the Losers shared a powerful bond and Eddie loved them all more than he loved his own family, but Richie was different. Richie was… more. More special to Eddie, even as special as the others were to him. He always had been. He was always the one who could make Eddie laugh even when he was feeling really low, who could calm him down from a panic attack, turning his fear to exasperated fury at the flick of a switch with nothing more than a simple inappropriate joke. Eddie would often find himself on the verge of having a mental breakdown only to have Richie say something that got him ranting instead, forgetting all about his fear as he watched that familiar grin spread across Richie’s face. Eddie had never been really mad at Richie - it was impossible - and as much as he acted like it, Richie always seemed to know that. He’d always known Eddie so well, better than anyone else. He’d always known how much Eddie itched to let off steam, to scream like he always wanted to while being suffocated by his mother, and he gave him an outlet in which to do that.

Richie let him be who he was. He never tried to smother him the way his mother or Myra had, didn’t think he was a fragile little child in need of protecting. He looked out for Eddie, of course. Kept him safe. But he didn’t suffocate him, didn’t squash him down into a box, he let him exist. He let him live.

He wondered if he’d be able to tell Richie all of this, get it out in the open. Tell him just how much he loved him. He wondered if Richie really did feel the same. It was only a matter of time before he found out.

They arrived at their room and stepped in together over the threshold.

*

Previous Next

[thejokersenigma]

Advent Calendar 2017 Day 1 - Joker x Reader - A Christmas Carol Part 1

So here it is! The first of a series of 25 fanfictions, some connected, some not!

They will be of varying length (and quality haha) and I will do my upmost to get them all out on time!

In return could I ask a favor? No payment. No presents. Well maybe one. Could you leave a comment? I understand if you don’t have the time or inclination, but I miss the little comments I use to get and the little inbox messages.

My inbox has been empty too long so I’d appreciate it if you made my Christmas!

Thank you and I hope you enjoy then next 25 days!

MASTERLIST

The heat from the building’s entrance way engulfed J as he stepped back into his building. The air was almost suffocating, but he barely noticed as he pushed on through the lobby and into his private elevator that stood out of way through a private staff corridor. He elbowed past anyone who dared to get in his way, snarling at anyone who then turned to reprimand him before they realised who it was and quickly backed away. People knew he owned the building, but the chances of ever actually seeing him were so slim, most were still brave enough to use it.

J threw the door to the private corridor open with one hand, the other holding a piece of card, now crumpled in his fist. He stormed into the elevator, ramming the up button. He needn’t be more specific than that, the elevator only went to one floor. His floor.

J’s jaw was clenched so tight his teeth ached, though he didn’t feel that either, his eyes bore holes into the doors in front of him as he listened to the sound of air rushing past either side of him. He didn’t look at the card again, just kept his eyes straight ahead.

The building wasn’t the tallest in Gotham – that award would always go to the Wayne Enterprises building that sat smugly in the middle of the grimy city – but it was definitely a strong competitor for second place, most office blocks falling away beneath the penthouse windows. J couldn’t enjoy the view now; didn’t get the powerful feeling he often did staring out at the sprawling landscape before him through the floor to ceiling windows that lined the north facing wall. Instead, his mind was seeing the words that were scrawled neat on the card which was now a creased mess in his palm.

He wished she didn’t this every year. He hoped that this would be the year she forgot. That she gave up. Who was she to continue to contact him? Anyone else wouldn’t dare to be this annoying to the ‘Clown Prince of Crime’ as they nicknamed him. But she could. She always had. Yet the rest of the year he heard no word from her.

But this?! His grip tightened even more, compressing the screwed-up paper even smaller.

He never had mail delivered to his penthouse. Ever.

Few knew his address and he never had any deliveries made to the building, J ensured that any packages were sent to a secret off grid location, and never the same place twice. There could be no way to track anything to one location. No way to find him.

So, when Frost had informed him of mail waiting for him down at the front desk, J was ready to shoot whoever messed up.

Then he’d seen the handwritten address.

He had stepped outside at that point – after retrieving the envelope from the front desk – he hadn’t felt the bitter cold against his exposed arms from where his shirt sleeves were rolled up. He hadn’t cared that people were gasping at him, or abruptly turning and hurrying away, the screams of terror didn’t even make him blink. He had eyes only for the envelope in his palm.

Frost had heard the commotion however, and had followed him out, abruptly steering his Boss – surprisingly without complaint - out of the way of eyes and into a back alley where deliveries were unloaded to supply the building and those neighbouring.

J had opened the letter then, to be greeted with a polished, expensive piece of card, the edges frilled and bordered with a golden piece of string tied in a bow at one corner. Inside this gold frame was a picturesque Christmas scene of an old Victorian village, snow coating the pavements and roads, street lamps spotted along it with candles glowing dully behind the frosted glass, children running down the pavements, leaving footprints behind them as they dashed past a butcher shop with meat hung in the window, and made for a glowing shop full of old fashion jars of traditional sweets. In the centre of the card was a couple, both in typical Victorian era dress, wrapped in thick coats and scarves, with fluffy hats perched on their heads, wandering down the middle of the street, their backs to J, arms entwined in a classic couple’s walk.

He has stared at the card, absorbing the details and then flicking it open.

Dear J,

Hope you’ve had a good year, and aren’t alone this time of year – you know what you’re like.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year.

All the best.

Y/N x

 J was brought back to himself in the penthouse, staring down at the same piece of writing - now slightly less legible, thanks to the abuse the card had suffered by his crushing hand. Reading it again, only refreshed the anger and pain. He crumpled the note once more, less resistance this time, and tried to fling the paper across the room behind him. It, however, caught on the air created by his arm and fell limply to the floor only a few feet from him. He growled out loud in frustration, crushing his teeth together as he snarled at the offending card.

“Boss?”

J shot his gaze up to face Frost, the man have seemed to have apparated in the doorway, dressed in his usual simple black suit and tie with a trimmed beard and hair combed neatly back. Frost’s face was an emotionless mask, deciding it best to show no reaction to J’s behaviour or the fact that his chest was heaving with a strong emotion.  “A message from the front desk has just been sent up. Someone is asking to come up.”

“Who?” J demanded moodily. He had no important meetings planned with anyone.

“I don’t know. They didn’t say.”

J scowled, not in the mood for any surprise drop in’s from Cobblepot or Eddie. But, maybe that was what he needed, to let his frustration out on someone else. “Send them up.” J muttered, already heading towards his office, fiddling with his pistol in its holster. Frost was slightly surprised by this request, expecting to have to turn them away, but he said nothing, heading off to fulfil his order.

J fell into the large, leather chair, laying his pistol out on the large wooden desk in front of him. Knowing his luck, it was probably Harley coming back to beg for him again, J rolled his eyes at this thought. The girl was annoying, but at least she wanted to be around him, unlike – it seemed – someone else.

J didn’t have to wait too long until there was an impatient knock on the office door. He grunted an acknowledgement, not bothering to look up from some papers he’d been flicking through, until Frost cleared his throat. J glanced up then, watching as he stepped aside to reveal a woman stood straight and proper behind him.

[Y/N].

J’s expression didn’t change, the emotionless mask still perfectly in place, but in his head the voices were screaming at him.

“Merry Christmas, J.” [Y/N] smiled warmly from the doorway, as though this was just a lovely social visit. J’s facial expression still didn’t change, a permeant frown of indifference.

“Bah, humbug.” He muttered quietly, turning his eyes back to his work.

“J!” She reprimanded, crossing the room as Frost quickly made an exit from the office, closing the door behind him. “You don’t mean that.” She told him crossly.

“I do.” He sulked, refusing to raise his eyes like a petulant child. [Y/N] stopped directly in front of his desk, crossing her arms, annoyed. He lifted his gaze then, almost having to smirk. He used to love annoying her until she folded her arms at him.

He swallowed everything down though, “And what right do you have, doll, to stroll in here,” He said, waving a hand at the path she had made across his office, “and demand me to have a merry Christmas?” He asked with a raised invisible brow. “Why are you so merry, hmm…?” He pressed What do you have to be merry about...?” He said with a malicious sneer before returning his gaze back to the papers on the top of his desk.

“What right do you have to be so grumpy?!” [Y/N] demanded angrily, “I know you’ve had a successful run of heists - none of which the bat has managed to foil! I also know that you’re about to be declared the most powerful crime boss in the city!”

“Keeping tabs on me, are you kitten?” J teased cruelly. “Humbug.” He repeated simply again, knowing it would only dig into her more. She treated that word like it was a profanity, like a personal insult to herself as a person.

“Stop it J!” She demanded moodily.

“Why, doll?” Drawled J, acting truly intrigued, and leaning lazily back in his chair. “Why should I act any differently when every idiot in the city is acting like the world is suddenly the most wonderful? When apparently every low life and piece of scum is now supposedly fill with good peace and joy? Hmm?” He asked, politely, gesturing, his palms open, in comedic confusion. “Last time I checked it was the same world as last month…” He looked to be thinking about this statement very hard, “Nothing has changed…” He continued to muse, “… And yet people suddenly seem to care about how you are and what you’re doing, even if they haven’t spoken to you all year…” J kept his eyes away from Y/N in an exaggerated thinking posture, but he knew he’d hit home with that mark and almost felt her flinch.

“Personally, princess,” J concluded, shifting his gaze back to her, steepling his hands together, “I believe everyone running around and crying Merry Christmas to every soul ought to be shot in the head before they infect others with their fake, pointless cheer.”

“J!” [Y/N] cried, and he thought he noticed her eyes were wet. But in that moment, he saw her bristle, toughening herself up for what was to come next. “I would have thought you of all people would embrace this time of year.” She pointed, only the faint trace of emotion left in her voice. “Forming your fun little pranks, wrapping the bat in miles of enforced tinsel or trapping robin in a giant bauble!” [Y/N] suggested wildly, throwing her arms in the air in exasperation. “I’d almost encourage all of that over this!” She exclaimed, gesturing around at the dark office, J not bothering to open the curtains and the only light coming from the dimmed lamps scattered around the room.

“If you don’t like it, doll, I suggest you leave.” J grumbled, grabbing for his papers again.

“J.” [Y/N] said, trying to get his attention back, “I came here to ask if you would like to spend Christmas with me.” [Y/N] said, refusing to be dismissed so easily. Her voice was calm again, almost slowed, like she was trying to spell out reason to a sulking child.

The voices got louder in his mind, but J didn’t bother to look up, ignoring her. She had left 4 years ago and now she suddenly wanted to spend Christmas with him?

[Y/N] lost her temper then. “I’m am asking anything from but your company, J! And not even for my sake – but for yours!”

“Good evening, doll.” Was all J said in return, his eyes still on the desk.

[Y/N] was silent for a moment. “J…” Her voice cracked slightly.

“Good. Evening. Doll.” He said through a clenched jaw, still refusing to look up. He heard [Y/N] let out a loud sigh.

“Merry Christmas, J.” She whispered down at him one last time before she then left the office, leaving the door open. J heard her bid Frost a merry Christmas, which Frost returned enthusiastically to her, whilst J scowled in the dark. Even Frost was infected with the seasonal ‘good cheer’.

J heard the main door to the penthouse close behind [Y/N] and growled and muttered at himself.

“Boss?” J rolled his eyes down at the desk before he lifted his head to Frost once more. “Jacobs and Kens are here.” Frost informed him. J inhaled sharply. “They say they have an idea.”

“They do, do they…” J grinned nastily. Maybe he had finally found something to take his mind off [Y/N]. Frost knew that look and so let the men through - he wasn’t one to stand in the way of his boss’s entertainment.

The men stepped awkwardly into the doorway, one of them rapping nervously at the open door. J raised his gaze to them in answer. “Uh, hey boss – uh –“ One man led the way, the other followed silently behind. “Me and - uh – Ken ‘er,” the first man began, gesturing behind at his companion, “we ‘ere ‘oping to speak with Miss [L/N] – “

“Miss [L/N] has not worked with me for 4 years now…” Drawled J, watching them coldly, and the men stopped dead in the centre of the room.

“Oh.” The first man said in surprise, “Uh – well – well- ma’be we can speak with you then, boss?” He floundered, Ken behind him staying silent. “Ya, see we’re ‘ere to propose a li’l scheme that we thin’ would relly work over this ol’ seas’n!” the man said excitedly.

“Is Eddy boy busy?” Inquired J politely. The two men looked at him confused, then realised who he was referring to.

“Uh – no, sir, not that I know of.”

“And what about ol’ Harvey boy?” He asked as though genuinely intrigued.

“No, sir.” They answered simply, though confusion was evident in their voice.

J nodded along to these answers politely. Suddenly he stopped, now staring at the men and they noticeably flinched. “Then why, my fine gentleman, have you chosen to muddy my carpet to bring me nothing but words?”

“Well – boss – we know that you’re the – the most powerful man in Gotham at the moment – “

“At the moment, hmm?” J snapped, pushing to himself suddenly to his feet once more, “Do you mean to say your loyalty lies in power alone, hmm?” J growled, “The minute someone makes a move to rob me, you change sides is that it, boys?”

“N-N-No, sir.” The first man stuttered, and Ken was violently shaking his head.

“Then I suggest you stick to your jobs description…” J drawled, “And your rank… And do not try to interfere with my business...” J growled, lowering himself back to his seat. “You’re not paid to think above your station and are you not paid enough?” J asked, daring them to answer wrongly.

“No – of course not, sir, the money – the money is good.”

“Just good, hmm?”

“It’s great, brilliant.”

“Well in that case maybe I should reduce it!” J suggested brightly, toying with the men. Their faces were priceless - such looks of alarm and fear he had to cackle at them. “Oooo I tease!” He chuckled and they weakly laughed along with him.

And then he stopped, suddenly dead serious. “But, boys… Let us get this straight… There will be no more ‘work’ until I say so. That does not mean, though,” He added as a look of joy crossed their faces at the prospect of time off – “that there are not other jobs that need doing – like shifting some rather valuable items out of the city.” He hinted. They nodded along obediently, trying to hide their disappointment from him.

They remained standing there, as though waiting for more instructions until J raised an invisible eyebrow at them and they realised they were being dismissed. They then quickly took their leave, walking quickly out of the office.

Just when J thought he had peace, another shadow appeared in the still open doorway. J growled at his paperwork again.

Frost didn’t even flinch at the noise, but he knew to tread carefully.

“Boss?” Frost began warily - you didn’t want to show J weakness, but you needed to show respect towards his temper. J snapped his head up to the slightly taller man. “Sir, it’s Christmas day tomorrow. I was hoping I could have the day off.”

“And what could you possibly want that for?” J demanded. “It’s not like you have a family.”

“Actually, sir. It’s my sister. She’s visiting with her children.” Frost explained, knowing J didn’t care and already knowing the answer.

But J didn’t answer, instead he eyed Frost carefully, searching his face as though daring him to show an inch to the fact he was lying.

“It’s just the one day, boss.” Frost insisted. He had, of course, hoped for more – having no seen his sister in 3 years, and her being not so well off and with 3 kids to handle – but that would be pushing his already thin luck.

“Fine.” J snorted. It wasn’t like he was planning anything any time soon, and Frost was loyal, J needed him to stay that way. He wanted respect and fear, not hatred. Hatred sparked betrayal.

“With pay?” Asked Frost. It wasn’t for him. Most of his pay went to his sister, and this time of year he wanted to save up as much as possible to give her a good Christmas and let her forget her troubles for a few days.

“Fine.” J growled. And Frost knew that was all he would get and quickly vanished from sight before J could change his mind.

J returned his gaze to the paperwork, but his head was pounding heavily, and he rubbed at his pale temple before he clenched his jaw and shoved himself up and away from the desk, heading towards the whisky decanter on a small table in the corner of the room. He poured a large glass of amber liquid into an ornate crystal glass and headed out of the room, heading to his large bedroom, passing windows that framed the icy streets and snow that had begun to flutter past the window panes. The image of the Victorian scene in the card flashed in his mind, but he pushed it down. He hated what [Y/N] could do to him.

She’d always loved this time of year. When they’d been together she had made him promise every year to not pull any crime within the 2 weeks around Christmas – she had wanted the whole month, but he’d managed to talk her down – it was his job after all he had pointed out. There had been strict rules for this – he would be allowed to spend the 2 weeks doing general admin and moving supplies around, and she had to keep him distracted, which she happily obliged with, spending all her time around the penthouse filling it with her Christmas spirit.

But that had started 9 years ago. She had been gone 4 years now.

Yet he still stuck to his promise - though there was nothing to entertain him any longer. In a spout of bitter hatred, he had specifically not stuck to it the year she had left, but he had been reckless and careless, and after only a short time he had landed himself in Arkham for 6 months, too depressed to do much about escaping.

Harley had busted him out eventually - hoping to gain some favours back - but he had ignored her and it didn’t take too long for her to give up and run back to Pamela.

Now he stuck to his promise – he couldn’t find a reason not to in his confused head. [Y/N] confused him. And Christmas was [Y/N] to J. So Christmas confused him. He was normal the rest of the year, but once December hit he practically hibernated away till after New Year.

He had tried to get [Y/N] back of course. Tired the minute she left. He’d sent Frost and his men out every day for a year trying to find her, yet they always came back with nothing. J had taught her well. She had vanished off the grid from him.

Eventually J had stopped asking for updates on the search and the men had got the gist and stopped bothering to look, things returning to normal like she had never existed.

But J always got a Christmas card from her. He would always forget until the day it arrived. It was like she was wiped from his memory until the day the envelope turned up, then, for a brief moment, she was back in the form of a basic wish of a Merry Christmas before she vanished again. Out of reach.

By now J had downed the glass of strong alcohol and reached his room. He paused at the door and stared blindly at it, the voices loud and all too real in his mind. He could hear Y/N’s voice loud and clear, all the others nameless voices except for one - old Marlo’s voice.

He shook his head. He never heard Marlo. Not since he died 5 years ago.

He angrily shoved the door trying to make as much noise in the real word to drown out the incessant noise in his ears. J headed straight to the decanter he knew was on his bedside table, once again pouring himself another large drink which he quickly downed like a parched man, and refilling it once more.

He could feel the alcohol warming its way through his body and slowly numbing the ache in his head. He walked to the window and stared out into the dark, the street lights showing late night shoppers and couples heading back from the centre of town. Prime meat for petty criminals. Not for J. He sipped now at the amber liquid, his eyes falling on his reflection rather than the city behind the glass.

He didn’t jump, or abruptly turn when the other face appeared behind him in his reflection. There was no way there was anyone else in the room with him, but it wasn’t the first time he had hallucinated, and the strong alcohol surely wasn’t helping.

“Evening, Marlo.” He greeted pleasantly to the ghostly figure in the glass, not surprised to see the old gangster after hearing his voice. The figment gave him a forced smile in greeting, clearly not pleased about something. “How’s life – sorry” J smirked, clearly not sorry for his ‘accidental’ slip up, “- how’s death?”

“We need to talk, lad.” Came the familiar rough voice. But this time it wasn’t in J’s head, it came from directly behind him. His hallucinations never talked back. He’d rather they didn’t. He let his gaze drop from the window, before looking back to the glass and finding Marlo still in the glass. That wouldn’t do, this figment was persistent.

J turned now, back to the room, and away from the haunting glass. Except he stopped almost instantly when he came face to face with Marlo - exactly where he should have been if he was real. Joker kept the shock from his face, his expression the well-practised mask of blankness.

His hallucinations must be getting worse. All the more fun for him. He took another large gulp of alcohol, hoping that oblivion would overpower his constantly buzzing mind and he would be able to rid himself of this ghost and fall into an abyss of exhaustion that was calling for him.

He attempted to ignore the hallucination of the dead man and pushed forward, walking straight through him. A cold wave of something travelled through him as he did it and it made J stiffen, but he continued to the wingback chair on the other side of the room, grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the bedside table on the way and refilling his now empty glass.

“Look, lad.” Came the voice and he reluctantly looked up at the figure that had moved closer, now standing at the foot of his bed. “I don’t ‘ave much time.”

“I don’t believe you have any time.” Growled J back, not in the mood for his own mind’s games. “I believe your time was up when that bullet hit you in the chest 5 years ago.”

The figment smirked reluctantly, “Always so funny.” He muttered as J dropped down into the chair in front of him still holding the whiskey bottle. “Still chuggin’ on the good stuff as well I see.” He pointed out.

“Clearly I have no imagination if all you’re here to do it observe everything I’m doing...” J drawled.

The man frowned, stepping – thought it looked more like floating - forward a few more foot. “You think I’m one of ya hallucinations, don’t ya boy?” He inquired. J ignored the ‘lad’s and ‘boy’s, knowing that was Marlo in his mind, and nothing was going to stop him treating J like the young man he had been when Marlo originally met him. J stoppering the decanter in his hand and placed it on the small table next to him - only one glass left in the bottle now. “I guess that’s the problem with visiting a man who’s already ravin’ mad.” The phantom pointed out.

The Joker continued to be silent, but he sipped the drink, watching the hallucination carefully. He was trying to decide if he was glad to see Marlo or not. He couldn’t help the fact that he missed his character, he was, after all, his old mentor from when he was a petty criminal.

“Think of me wha’ ya want, boy” The figment of Marlo, told him, mistaking his far-off expression, “but I hav a message and ya need to lis’en.”

“When have I ever listened to you?” Joker grinned over at his old friend, hallucination or not.

“Never.” Marlo admitted with a small smirk, “And it some’ow worked out for ya. But I’m beggin’ ya to listen jus’ this once.”

Joker rolled his eyes, waving his hand impatiently, the sooner he ‘listened’ the sooner the figment would vanish.

The figment moved even closer, taking a seat in the identical chair next to him. Just like J knew him, he didn’t beat around the bush. “When I died I tol’ ya to rule it all, didn’t I lad? Aye, I remember the words. I knew ya’d be able ta. Easily.” Marlo said, his eyes looking at J, but not seeing him, lost in memories. “I told ya ta do it because I ha’ tried, and I ha’ failed.” J cold eyes watched him calculating. “And though ya say ya never listen, lad,” he teased, like he did when J was younger, “I know ya did.” J didn’t say anything, too focused on the ‘ghost’. Marlo sighed heavily now and he suddenly seemed to be weighed down strongly by something. “But I’m now askin’ ya to forget it. It’s not you, lad. It never has been. My goal was riches and power. Yas never was. Ya the Joker!” He exclaimed gesturing at the criminal across from him as if that explained everything.

J continued to stare at the man and the man watched him back. When he spoke again, his voice was lower, almost husky, like it was after he had yelled at J when he caught him disobeying orders.

“Ya losin’ yaself in the need to fulfil what I asked of ya.”

“You might have asked me, but that doesn’t mean I had to do it.” J growled, “I’m not doing anything because of you.” Marlo had a look of pity that J remembered all to well from years ago when J had been half the man he was now – when he’d been lost and ignorant.

J could say what he wanted to Marlo, but the man knew him too well to buy his bullshit. “You’ve looked better, old man.” J pointed out with a grin, changing the subject to get rid of that look of pity. It was true though, the figment before him wasn’t like the man J had once known, his clothes were torn and dirtied, and J now noticed the large hole in Marlo’s chest which was surrounded by a particularly large stain. Where the bullet had hit.

J wished he’d been there. He would have tortured the man that did it. It had been during a gang fight for power - a cause that Marlo had dedicated his life to -  and J, having at this time moved on from Marlo’s teachings, had been on the other side of the city. By the time he got wind of the new and had arrived on the scene, reinforcements had already arrived and dealt with the killer with a simple shot to the head. Too easy. Too nice. J had found Marlo left to bleed out and barely alive, no hope of survival.

“Ya don’t look much better, yaself.” Marlo gently ribbed, gesturing to the messy hair where J had ruffled it by repeatedly running his fingers through the green strands, and the dark shadows that lay under his eyes. He didn’t even begin to comment on the sheer number of drinks he knew the clown had downed that evening.

J grunted something unintelligible sounding like ‘careful’.

Marlo chuckled quietly. “I’d like ta say ya’re the same lad I knew, but ya aren’t.” J watched him, waiting for him to explain himself. “Ya more like me now.”

“Yeah, well you were always good at your job.” J pointed out lazily, reclining back in his chair.

Marlo nodded sadly, “My job, but nothing else, lad” He said. “Money and power was all I had. Nothing else to my life…” He trailed off and seemed to be lost in his own mind, a vacant, far off look in his eyes. “An’ now I’m dead. An’ I’m alone. Always alone.” J said nothing, but Marlo could sense the scepticism.  “Yeah, it sounds sappy,” he brushed off, “ – an’ I didn’t believe it at firs’ – but I’ve been there, hell I’m there righ’ now!” Marlo explained, his face looking older and more haggard. “But I’ve learn’ the ‘ard way tha’ – when ya’re dead – ya’re only companions are those that loved ya in yar life, and who ya in turn loved - they ‘re who ya’ll spend eternity with, lad.”

J let out a long, cold, emotionless laugh. “That’s rich! Tell me another sob story, bring some tissues this time.” He cackled.

“I would have laughed too if I wan’t stuck in it.” The look on Marlo’s face made J stop mid laugh. He may be a phantom, but J could still read the truth in his eyes, just like the man had taught him.

“Aww, come on Marl!” J joked, leaning forward, but the cold seriousness on Marl’s face made him relent, “Ok, say it’s true…” He sneered, “What about your own mother?”

“Does ya mother love ya?” Marlo asked in return, but he didn’t wait for the answer, instead he shrugged, “I showed ‘er no love, she showed me none in return.” He said simply.

“No wives? Girls that took an untimely end?”

“Never marrie’. Never kept a girl more than a week.” He admitted. “’ope they’re all alive anyway. I didn’t know them, though, lad. Didn’t care enough.”

“Surely Finn and Hugh have some weird… man crush on you.” The Joker pointed out with a smirk.

“Even if they did, they aren’t dead yet – seen Finn out by the Harbour, an’ Hugh’s left town.” Marlo informed him, “But can’t say by the en’ that I loved ‘em in return, lad. He admitted sadly, “Power does that ta ya - makes you anxious, nervy. Ya push people away. Even those loyal ta ya.” He looked at the man across from him, but J couldn’t understand the expression in his eyes.

“That’s why I’m ‘ere lad. Ya don’t have ta do tha’, or end up like this.” He said, gesturing to himself. “Ya ‘ad that sweet girl – Y/N.”

“She’s gone.” J growled sullenly.

“No, lad, she ain’t.” Marlo stated. “Ya’ve pushed ‘er away, but she never left ya’. Make it righ’, boy.”

“You’re a love expert now, hmm?” J questioned with a raised cocky eyebrow.

“I don’t claim to be, but forever is a long time alone - even if ya think you like ta be alone.” The figment said with a knowing look in his eye, easily able to read J. “There’s no distractions once ya’re dead, lad. Nothin’ to take your mind off the emp’iness ya’re hiding from righ’ now.”

“Right….” Dragged J, rolling his eyes, “Thanks for the therapy session…” He smirked lazily falling back into the cushions behind him, about done with this conversation now.

“Look, lad. I’m not a hallucination - contrary to what you migh’ like to kid ya’self, and I don’t know why you can see me now when the truth is I’ve been watchin’ you for over a year. Why I can suddenly speak ta you, I can’t be sure, lad, but I can make the most of it and warn ya – because – lad – as much as I never said it, and as much as you’d ‘ate for me ta say it – I actually care abou’ ya lad.” Marlo suddenly got to his feet. “Ya ‘ave a chance to avoid wha’ I’m going through and I strongly sugges’ ya take it.” He said, beginning to walk towards the window, though the way he was speaking it was clear he wanted to stay longer, but something was propelling him to the window. “For some reason ya’ve been given a change, lad. Take it. Get Y/N back. If no one else – get ‘er.” He almost begged, “The firs’ one ‘lll be ‘ere at 12 an’ –“

With that the voice was lost from the phantom, though his lips continued to move, and his feet walked him right into and through the penthouse wall, his body merging into the glass. J watched, cursing his over active imagination, as what appeared to a silvery gas seemed to rise off the window into the black night outside and drifted up into the air, like smoke from a chimney, blending amongst the snowflakes that continued to fall.

J remained in his armchair for a few moments, sat in thought, before he glanced sharply at the last mouthful of drink in his glass and ignored it, placing the crystal on the table and heading for the bed. Clearly his mind was past the point of any small glimpse of sanity for this evening and he didn’t want to encourage it further with more alcohol.

He fell asleep to the numbing heat of the alcohol in his system, and the sound of the sharp cold wind outside the window that reminded him of Marlo.

[missjackil]

Sam, Dean & Sera Gamble

It’s been my feeling since I watched Seasons 6 and 7 that they were different than all other seasons. I didn’t hate them, but I didn’t necessarilly like them either. They were Sera Gamble’s era, and though Im sure it’s hard to stay true to Kripke’s vision, and yet add your own vision to it, I don’t think she did a very good job. I was speaking with a friend recently, who told me it’s a common opinion that Gamble was a Sam girl, the last show runner to “take care” of Sam’s character, and the last one to understand the brothers’ relationship. I nearly spit my coffee on my laptop! Now, this isnt to wank on my friend, I wont name her, but she’ll know who she is if she reads this. She’s a sweety and I respect her, so friend.... this isnt against you :)  Now me, personally, I do tend to see things completely opposite of how most of the fandom sees it, I dont know why that is, but I do. This time is no different, because Im going to go outside the box and explain why I think Gamble was a Dean girl, and maybe even secretly hated Sam. I dont know why she got fired, if any of you do, please enlighten me, because it would seem to me that she got fired for favoring Dean too much and nearly destroying Sam’s character, and Im going to explain why. 

To start, she wasn’t the head hancho yet in S4, but she was the one who insisted that Sam sleep with Ruby and Dean sleep with Anna. Now I understand how intriguing it was to think of one brother sleeps with a demon while the other sleeps with an angel, but if you read these conditions in a fan fic, youd scream “Dean girl!” and complain about the Sam hate in the fact that Sam slept not only with a demon, but with a dead meat suit, while Dean’s angel conveniently had her own body and not someone elses vessle.   Anyone who wasnt a Sam fan before hand, certainly didnt become one after that. Now I know it was hard to redeem Sam after the events of S4, and I wont blame Gamble for that completely, but the end of S5 brought back the brave, sweet, selfless Sam we know and love. The one who only wants to do the right thing, has unlimited love and faith in Dean, is willing to take responsibility of his actions, will give up his life to save the world, and the love for his brother is strong enough to overpower the Devil himself.<sniff> but Gamble got the show for season 6 and what happened? The very first thing, is reward Sam’s courageous act of S5 with coming back soulless. And for a while. at least 5 episodes, all that meant was Sam was Sam minus his good qualities. His compassion, kindness, and love for Dean. Sure, Soulless Sam was sexy and funnier than normal Sam, but for the most part, he was just cold. Again, if you werent a Sam fan up till now, you werent becoming one during this arc. The arc itself, though it seemed to be about Sam, was really about Dean and his reaction to Soulless Sam. What it did to him, how Sam let a vamp turn him, how Dean hated being in the same room with him and very little about how it affected Sam other than for him to say he doesnt care about anything, even about Dean, which made us all hurt for Dean, not Sam.  One of the biggest traits in the WInchester bromance, is that Sam and Dean will go over and above the call of duty for each other, and are self destructively co dependent, and yet the only time in s6 and 7 that Gamble showed this was when Dean went to get Sam’s soul back and died to talk to Death. We see Dean laying his life down for Sam, because he loves him so much, meanwhile.Sam is trying to kill Bobby. Still not winning Sam fans here. Also Sam was trying to kill Bobby to make it impossible to get his soul back, because he was afraid of what would happen to him, which is inconsistant with being soulless, because Soulless Sam (and other soulless people) had no fear, so to me it looks like a plot device  to keep Sam unlikable, it had even been stated by Bobby, that Dean was his favorite, not something a “Sam girl” would put in the mouth of the man Sam loves as a father, is it? Then Sam gets his soul back and with all the talk about how much damage it could do, one would think Sam would be the focus of s6b but he wasnt really, not even in the episode that he got his soul back. We did get an awesome bro hug then, and Im thankful, but the episode turned quickly to a filler/monster hunt, that pushed Sam to the side while Dean went to get that dragon killing sword and do a little physical comedy.  After that, we got a couple hell visions, but no real bromance or happiness that Dean had Sam back, it was just business as usual. We had a lot of comedy though with French Mistake, Fronteir Land, The Heart Will Go On, and Mommy Dearest. Keep in mind we have Dean looking all sexy in his cowboy outfit, and Sam just dresses like Sam with a cowboy hat. Clear signs of a Dean girl Season 6 wraps up with 3 episodes, The Man who Would Be King, that is very Cas heavy even though he’s a side character. He doesnt share this story with Sam or Dean, they just support it. Let it Bleed, which is Dean heavy, Sam isnt in much of it, and Cas is in even less. It’s primarily all Dean, Lisa and Ben, and then The Man Who Knew Too Much, which is actually one of my favorites, Its Sam heavy-ish, even though his hell wall just collapsed, and a fantastic story is unfolding, but he has to share the episode with Cas’s story independent of his own. and of course, Dean has things going on with Bobby. This is not a sign of a Sam girl.

 In the real SPN world, Dean would have stood down with the threat that Sam wouldnt be fixed if he didnt. As we saw him easily give up Anna for Sam, and how he let Lucifer/Sam beat the crap out of him just to keep Sam above ground and give him time to take over. Dean didnt even have a plan to that could help Cas’s problem, but he was willing to let Sam suffer and maybe die, just to stop Cas’s plan that he had no idea if it would fail or not? That’s definitely not “understanding the brothers’ relationship”  Now we move on to S7. The first 2 episodes are pretty heavy for Sam. It looks like he might get a good solid storyline this season. But what does a Sam girl think will help the already painful flood of Hell memories? I know, lets highly imply that Sam was raped by Lucifer!!! YEAH!! This goes great in a show that only gets a pg14 raiting, that emphisizes in love and family. it really NEEDS to have a lead hero raped by the devil for 180 years! How about we also add insult to injury and make Lucifer charming and humorous so the audience will like him! Not like Alistaire that the audience couldnt wait to kill.  I had hoped for the return of the Winchester bromance when Hello Cruel World had some wonderful moments of it. Dean waking Sam for breakfast, and tending to his hand wound, and listening to him about the hallucinations. The scene in the warehouse where Dean showed Sam to press on his wound to keep focus on whats real was one of the best bromantic moments of the series, and then Dean panicking with Sam unconscious in the ambulance. But it was sadly short lived. The next episode is mainly taking place weeks later, Sams issues are touched on for a minute, but he goes out on a hunt by himself, which pisses off Dean who still has a broken leg and cant drive.

 And then Leviathans, and DIck Roman and Samgirl Gamble for some reason thinks it would be such a riot for Sam who has been hallucinating Lucifer and the cage, to get roofied, married, and tied up naked by a stalker fan!! WTF????? And then Bobby dies, and then Sam gets kidnapped by Vetalla for 3 days while Dean was sleeping, and while Sam is bleeding out, Dean is trying to be friends with an annoying teenage girl. and then Dean gets to travel back in time and look smokin hot while he hangs out with Elliot Ness, then Dean fathers a monster daughter, and Sam kills her, and LETS CHASE SAM AROUND WITH CLOWNS!!! Oh wait, is he still having hellucinations? Hmmm I forget, and this is about the time I think Gamble had gotten fired because I have no idea what she was thinking to this point.  Sam’s hallucinations had been put on the back burner so much that I wonder if her intentions were to keep him in that state for a long time. To maybe throw into the mix every now and then, that Sam isnt stable. so he might not be strong enough to handle this thing, or he might not be in his right mind, so Dean will REALLY be the main hero and the most credible of the 2. Because Dean even used Sam’s mental state as a reason why he lied to him about Amy, and Sam just accepted it.  Repoman brought Sam’s hallucinations back to the surface, and i think Carver may have taken over by then because Sam was frantic to find his kidnapped brother, much more than Dean was to find his a few episodes before. Carver had to have been back by The Born Again Identity because Cas came back. I wont say I like the way Sam’s mental health was handled, it was just over by Cas taking on the pain, but at least it got attention and SOME form of closure.  Now Carver isnt without some pretty epic sins, but he definitely wasnt afraid of bromance, and the Winchester co-dependency. I wonder if Gamble gets such support simply because she is a female and women tend to want to support women in business full of men, and I understand that, but Ill still call out the woman if she does a crap job, which I really think she did in this case. She did a better job at taking care of Dean than Sam, and she did nothing to help their relationship. 

[takottais-oc-askblog]

Oc bullshittery pt.6

--------------------------------------------

Ashton: The devil whispered in my ear “your not strong enough to withstand the storm” I whispered back “you’re”

Flesh: [clapping] the inspiration is outstanding

--------------------------------------------

sibling relationships be like:

Flesh: can I use your charger?

Bei: I’d give you a kidney, but you aren’t borrowing my charger.

Chii: he’d give him a kidney, maybe not his, but a kidney

--------------------------------------------

Dax: at this point if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Paston: [cocks gun] not in my mother fuckin’ lobby!

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: [watching their ex across the club]

Bei: [knocks back shot] what the hells’ up with you ??

Flesh: asshole who broke my heart at 12 o’clock...

Bei: [glances]

Bei: heeey listen and listen good [grabs flesh's face] thou shall not let low vibin’ sketchy ass energy penetrate thy aura!

Bei: [knocks back flesh’s untouched drink] now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date with a certain asshole at 12 o’clock, [wobbles to flesh's ex] HEY WISEGUY, HEARD THAT YA HIT AND QUIT MY LITTLE BRO—

Flesh: oh god…

--------------------------------------------

Quinncie: [points a finger at everyone] Do you little punks wanna know why I’m so bad at parking ??! HUH ?! why I refuse to listen to your bullshit when I’m trying to focus !? well DO YA ?!! It’s because men are always constantly lying to me about what 8 fuckin inches is !

Rico: imma go out on a limb here and say that that wasn’t directed at me and somehow was a slap in Elliott’s face.

Peach: ouch.

Coccoh: well god damn!

Elliott: bAbE!?!

Paston: this is so going on my blog

--------------------------------------------

Bei: dream job; Karma Delivery Service.

--------------------------------------------

Coccoh: what’s the mead sis........ the wenches are squabbling .......

--------------------------------------------

Rico: Elliott, I cant believe I'm saying this. But we need you to do what you do best.

Elliott: What’s that?

Rico: Tear. Them. To. Shreds!

--------------------------------------------

Chii: Have you ever considered not being a dumb ass?

Dax: I’m morally, politically, and religiously opposed to any form of self criticism, so no.

--------------------------------------------

Elliott: I, for one, didn’t want to start my day with slaughter… which really goes to show how much I’ve grown.

--------------------------------------------

Dax: I promised Ashton we wouldn’t do anything illegal!

Paston: Why would you lie to your fiancee like that?!

--------------------------------------------

Coccoh: What are you doing?

Peak Lilly: It's called a hug!

Coccoh: Oh. I don't know if I like it. But continue.

--------------------------------------------

Peach: at this point I don’t even know if i’m breathing correctly..

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Dax: [drunk as fuck as a Christmas party trying to hit on Ashton]

Dax: yo who’s that shawty over there in the red button up?

Peach: that’s your fiance.

Dax: shiiiiit imma go hollar at him real quick!

--------------------------------------------

Camie brown: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol and you treat an inside wound by drinking alcohol. It’s science!

--------------------------------------------

Bei: Of course, I name all my weapons.

Chii: Seriously? Isnt that kind of stupid?

Bei: I don’t think so. My Axe is named after the man who gave it to me, he left it to me so I can protect myself and his kids, and then he sacrificed himself to buy us escape time. I named my gun after the dead police officer I pulled it from. My dagger is named after the brave women who ended her own life so she wouldnt turn. Every weapon I have is named after someone that I failed to save, I name them to remind myself of the past, so that I can be better in the future. I failed to save them, but now they can help me save others.

--------------------------------------------

In bei's camp during the apocalypse:

Rico: So, whose the big leader around here?

Eva: [points at Bei] That one, right there.

Quinncie: Them? The person sitting in the grass over there making daisy-chain crowns for the little kids?

Peach: Yupp, that’s them.

--------------------------------------------

Quinncie: I like your coat.

Eva: Thank you, I got it 50% off.

Quinncie: I'd like it 100% off.

Eva: The store can't just give out free stuff.

Quinncie: That's not what I-

Eva: That's a terrible way to run a business, quinn.

--------------------------------------------

Dax: [sits next to bei]

Bei: you smell like drama and a headache please get away from me.

Dax: …

Dax: [pulls bei into his lap]

Bei: [flailing]

Dax: [kissing their face]

Bei: PLEASEnOOooOOoOOI’VEBEENINFECTED—!

--------------------------------------------

Rico: [standing there with coffee]

Quinncie:

Rico: 

Rico: look do you want your iced coffee or are you still being a bitch?

Elliott: and who says romance is dead?

--------------------------------------------

Dax: i’m breaking up with you

Paston: 260 million dogs in the world and you think I need you. Ha think again foolish fool~!

Dax: ....?

--------------------------------------------

Chii: [feeling down]

Bei: suck it up

Chii: and what if I broke your legs and told you to walk it off?

Bei: .....

Bei: then i would question your slightly swaying morals.

--------------------------------------------

Peach: what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger–

Diel: [cuts peach off]

Peach: bItCh i will FITE—

Diel: …

--------------------------------------------

Chii's first time eating human food:

Peak Lilly: Are you okay?

Chii, tangled in spaghetti: help me..

--------------------------------------------

Peach: Doesn’t look safe for a mortal.

Chii: if you sit there you belong to the fae.

Quinncie: That’s the fae’s problem.

Paston: That is such a strong, bold, confident statement and I respect you for it.

--------------------------------------------

[when Bei gets mad at Diel and says ‘Go have fun with that other guy’ like it’s a threat]

Diel: first of all ima have a blast!

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Cake: You call it death I call it shedding your meatsuit!

--------------------------------------------

Poppet: Keep a memory of me,

not as a queen,

nor a hero but as a woman.

Fallible and flawed.

--------------------------------------------

Quinncie trying to explain to his therapist the way his death should be executed, like it makes total sense:

Quinncie: -and then the police pull my lifeless body from a lake, but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen, and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water.

--------------------------------------------

Rico: Hey Bei, do you think flesh thinks in Spanish or in English?

Bei: Bold of you to assume his dumbass thinks in general.

--------------------------------------------

Rico: [wearing something nice for their date] do you like it?

Quinncie: [starts crying]

Rico: quinn stop crying you’ll ruin your makeup–

Quinncie: LET ME! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!

--------------------------------------------

Charlie: Pin...

Pin, in tears: That’s what chii used to call me...

Charlie: That’s because it’s your fucking name, numb-nuts!

--------------------------------------------

Camie brown: G, look! it’s the good kush!

Peak Lilly: This is the dollar store how good could it possibly be?

--------------------------------------------

Eva, about Rico's boss: He probably owes you money, huh? i'll ask him!

Rico: he's dead. he can't talk..

Eva: whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. it just so happens that your boss here is only MOSTLY dead. there’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. mostly dead is slightly alive. with all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do!

Rico: what's that?

Eva: go through his clothes and look for loose change.

--------------------------------------------

Pin: Speaking of folks I can do without, poppet is back.

Cake: That explains why blood was pouring from all my faucets this morning.

--------------------------------------------

Quinncie: What can I say? I'm charming and irresponsible

Paston: Uhh...Don't you mean Irresistible?

Quinncie: Nope.

--------------------------------------------

Elliott: It's odd how a woman's purse looks good on me, a man.

Peach: Exactly! Unisex!

Elliott: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.

Peach: No...no... Elliott. U-N-I-sex.

Elliott: well I ain't going to say no to that.

--------------------------------------------

Ashton: What are your answers for this problem?

Paston: I got 25!

Rico: I got 67.

Dax: I got George Washington… for some reason??

--------------------------------------------

Peach, to Peak Lilly: Hey, so G, I'm lesbian.

Peak Lilly, half asleep: I thought you were American.

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: I would do a lot more things if I didn't have to stand up to do said things.

--------------------------------------------

Pin: It's not "bacon", it's a pig.

Pin: It's not "veal", it's a calf.

Pin: It's not "steak", it's a cow.

Pin: It's not "meat", it's an animal.

Ashton: It's not "fruit", it's dividing cells that accumulate fructose.

Dax: It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno.

Paston: Maybe it's Maybelline.

Camie brown: THIS IS SPARTA!

--------------------------------------------

Chii: Bold words for a high school reject.

Flesh: Hey, high school DROPOUT, actually. They let me in, I let myself out.

--------------------------------------------

Chii: It’s very important that i’m both gay and powerful.

--------------------------------------------

Paston: IDK is the most mysterious acronym.

Ashton: Literally everyone knows what it means?

Paston: Then what does it mean?

Ashton: I don't know.

Paston: See? No one does!

--------------------------------------------

How Peach and Charlie fell in love:

Peach: [idly singing 'Her Sweet Kiss']

Charlie: Wait

Charlie: ...

Charlie: Wait are you in love with me?

Peach: have been for the last two decades but thanks for noticing.

--------------------------------------------

(this one also got hella long, but thank you all for patiently waiting for this one to get finished!

Tag list: @nansblockit @ask-the-amazing-greenland @slasher-beware @ticket-to-ride13 @illwaitinthisplace

If you want to be tagged just comment on this post or shoot me an ask/message, have a wonderful day!\(•↓•)/♡)

[sharkticonxqueen]

Like No Tale Ever Told

Pack Progress and a glimpse into No-tail’s past.

“Food.” growled No-tail.

Wildtide ignored her, resting his helm against her belly. The metal bulged, as h e rested his cheek on her paneling.

One, two, maybe three... by pressing down with his fingers, he could feel several hard lumps beneath her hide.

“Fooooood.” No-tail huffed, stroking her mate's helm. Instinctively, the two of them knew they'd broken the rules. Their firstborn wasn't fully grown, and it wasn't the right time of year for new pups. They'd likely get no help from the pack with this new litter.

Wildtide smiled. Honestly, he wasn't the least bit ashamed. Who could blame him for wanted to breed with such a strong, brave female? No-tail may have been missing a limb, but she was more of a woman than anyone he'd ever met. If he had it his way, he'd impregnate her a hundred more times.

Wildtide rumbled, nuzzling her belly. No-tail lifted a leg, pressing her foot against her mate. With a push, she managed to roll him away.

“Food now. Babies need food.” She told him, smiling wryly. Wildtide rose, stretching.

He tilted his helm, moving his hand in a swimming motion. Fish?

No-tail shook her head.

Wildtide held up two fingers, like ears. Petrorabbit?

No-tail patted her abdomen with a growl of approval. “Fast.” She ordered. “Go now, come back fast.”

Wildtide chuckled, changing to beast mode. He headed toward the trees. No self-respecting male allowed his mate to go hungry for long.

No-tail settled back against a pillow of rotting vegetation.  The sunlight overhead beat down on her metal, the warmth doing little to ease her sluggishness.  She was about to doze off when a familiar smell tickled her olfactory sensors.

Female-scent. Young-scent. Pack. Family.

She opened her optics, watching as her daughter Star sauntered over. The younger female had dark juice around her mouth, her sharp teeth gleaming as she smiled.

No-tail tried to sit up, grunted, rolled back and forth a bit, and finally managed to tumble to her feet.

“What have?” She demanded, approaching her daughter. “Star, what have?”

Star grinned, turning away. She shoved a handful of something dark into her mouth, more black juice staining her fingers.

“Oil-berries!?” No-tail bristled, outraged. “Are oil-berries? Share!”

She waddled toward her daughter, extending a hand.

Star lifted her own hands, showing they were empty. “Gone!” She announced, wiggling her fingers.

No-tail growled. Star may have been her little girl, but she was also a lower ranking female. Flaunting food like that would earn her a bite or two. The mother sharkticon was just about to struggle into beast mode when Star propped her hands on her hips, looking pleased.

“Found bushes. Lots ripe. Show you. Just for us. You, me, Papa.” Star declared.

No-tail squinted. “Bring berries.”

Star shook her helm. “No, you come.” Then her optics gleamed. “Trade.”

“Trade!?” No-tail snarled. “Trade what?”

Star clasped her hands together behind her back, rocking onto her tiptoes.

“Trade story.”

And that's how the two females ended up on the outskirts of the Packs territory, weaving the trees side by side. They walked quietly, for the most part, Star occasionally pausing to nip at her mothers flanks and shoulders.  

Most mothers wouldn't have tolerated such childish behavior from a nearly-grown pup; but for the moment, Star was No-tail's only child, and No-tail adored her daughter. Star was almost a copy of her.

“Much more far?” No-tail grumbled, pausing a moment to rest. She winced, setting a hand on her belly. The eggs were shifting.

“Not much far.” Star hopped onto a fallen log. Holding her arms out for balance, she put one foot ahead of  the other, swaying a bit. She closed her optics, daydreaming about the wonders and mysteries her mother had shared about her life before the pack.

“Want Story!” Star declared, turning on one foot to face No-tail. Now she was walking backward.

No-tail watched her, squinting slightly. “Watch hips!” She scolded. Then, “What kind story?”

“Trap-easy! Trap-easy story! Tell about flying!” Star declared. She missed a step and toppled backward with a yelp.

“Trapeze.” No-tail corrected. “Trapeze.”

Star sat up, brushing dust off her armor.

“Trapeze, then!” She retorted, getting to her feet.

No-tail brushed past a vine tree, exhaling.  A story had a lot of words, it'd take a lot of thinking and effort.

Still...she enjoyed remembering. And it was so easy to recall, it seemed like only yesterday...

“Bugrimova Central.” No-tail stated. “Big city. Big buildings, as far as can look.  Mecchamo Sharkticon Circus stop by three days.  Each day like this; First painted clowns falling down,  then tamer wrestling. Next, juggling and dancing, and fire eating. Music, tricks. Then...”

“Then?” Star probed No-tail to continue, leaning forward eagerly.

The pregnant female turned on her heel. .She placed a hand at her waist, lifting the other in a sweeping motion. She bowed to a crowd of memories.

“Then me.” She murmured, imagining the roar of the crowd.  “Mecchamo's Famous Flying Sharkticon; Like No Tale Ever Told!”

“That's you!” Star clapped, delighted, “That your name!”

No-tail smirked. “Yes. I was star. Star of the show.”

The youngling grinned. “Now I'm Star.”

No-tail paused, turning to her daughter. Reaching out, she swung her arm, trapping the youngling in a headlock.

“I SHARE Spotlight.” She growled, giving her helm a nuzzle. “Still my light.”

“Graaaah.” Star wriggled, trying to pull free, “Share, like share berries?”

She pointed to a patch  of land just ahead. A group of dark orange bushes were clustered around an old vine tree, the coppery leaves gleaming.

No-tail released her daughter, waddling toward the brushes. Pushing the leaves aside, she let out a cry of delight. The branches were heavy with fruit!

The two females feasted. With so much to go around, there was no need for bared teeth or raised fins. No-tail showed Star how to choose berries, to leave the flowers and green buds so that there would be more later. She was happy to share what her mate Wildtide had taught her.

After all, Star wasn't a pup anymore. She'd leave the pack soon, in search of her own pack to rule. No-tail didn't doubt her daughter would be an alpha, with many males, and even more children.

She jolted, letting out a groan. Star looked up from her snack, worried. “Hurt?”

“No, no.” No-tail flopped down onto her back. “Pups.”

Star stepped closer, reaching out to touch her mother's abdomen. She vaguely understood that half-formed pups lived in eggs, occasionally stirring as they dreamed. She also knew males had something to do with getting eggs. Honestly, it didn't seem that interesting to her.

Stories, on the other hand...

“Mother?” She rested her chin on her mothers chest.

“Hmmm?” No-tail glanced at her.

“Did you Fly high?”

“Yes, high.”

“Higher than that rock?”

“Higher.”

“High as tree?”

No-tail scoffed. “Help up!” She ordered. Star gripped No-tail's hand, tugging her to her feet.

No-tail sauntered over to the vine tree. Digging her fingertips into the back, she began to climb.

She and Star were the only sharkticons in the pack who could climb trees. She was proud of this fact. Weighed down, she wasn't as fast as usual, but after a few moments, she found herself standing on a thick branch.

“This tree---” She called down to Star. “This tree, not high at all! Flew above ALL trees.”

Indeed, she had. The trapeze often went up as high as six stories.  Sometimes there was a net to catch her, sometimes there wasn't. A fall led to her losing her tail, but she didn't care. She flew better without it.

The memories were so clear. The smell of popcorn, of spun sugar. The musk of the circus animals. The applause, the applause that felt better than a belly full of meat.

She would never go back, but sometimes...No-tail missed the crowd, the eyes on her.

She glanced down. Star was looking up at her, rapt.

No-tail reached out, grabbing one of the vines. Iit was about as big around as her thigh. She gave it a good tug, putting her weight on it.  Looking out, she could see at least a dozen more vine trees stretched out ahead of her, ranging between two and three stories tall.

She smiled, gripping the vine tightly.

“Mother?” Star called out, “Mother, what doing?”

No-tail rocked on the branch, feeling it bend. One, two....

She ran forward and leaped, locking her arm muscles.

The vine flexed.

Strained.

Held.

She swung, focusing on the tree ahead of her, gauging the thickness of the vines, the positioning....

On the upward arch, she let go, flinging herself forward.

“MOTHER!” Star shrieked, horrified.

No-tail seized a nighboring vine, grunting from the effort.

“You flew!” Star clapped her hands over her mouth, unbelieving.

No-tail scaled the vine, resting on another branch. She paused a moment to catch her breath, then gripped the vine more firmly.

Inhale.

Jump.

She spun, corkscrewing her body. On the third rotation she reached out with both hands, grabbing the vine once more.

Star was clapping, delighted, watching as her mother swung toward the branch.

No-tail jumped, planting both feet on the branch.

Breathing heavily, she grinned, taking a bow for her audience of one.

Star applauded.

The Branch creaked.

The branch broke.

No-tail fell two stories to the forest floor below.