#she's hugging him like a teddy bear... she's 1 second away from picking him up and carrying him out of there

[arttuff]

cassie chose the worst person to go to the haunted house with

[itsdanii]

can i req the iwa, atsumu, and suna being in a secret relationship w the reader and the reader gets insecure bc they wanna keep it a secret? w comfort after plspls

Hey, bubs! Of course, you can request ♥️ Unfortunately, I'm only taking 1-2 characters per request so I canceled Iwaizumi from the list. Also, this is only Atsumu's part. Don't worry, I'm still going to do Suna's part, however, it will be uploaded tomorrow instead of today. I hope you enjoy it! Have a good day, stay safe and hydrated! ♥️

Secret Relationship

genre: semi-angst to fluff, comfort

warning/s: self doubt and insecurity, descriptions of anxiety, do message me if i missed any

a/n: please do read the warnings before you proceed. warnings have been put there for a reason.

ft. atsumu miya

maybe keeping your relationship wasn't the best decision after all

Atsumu Miya

You and Atsumu have been in a relationship for 2 years now

With the rising popularity of Atsumu, not only throughout Inarizaki but to the other schools as well, he decided on keeping your relationship a secret

Though you respected Atsumu's choice, it can't be helped that sometimes your emotions got the best of you

Random girls would always approach your boyfriend. They were basically anywhere, everywhere - at school, during practice matches, and even when you were both trying to have a simple date on a nearby cafe

You tried to confront Atsumu about it once but you only ended up fighting, him saying that there was nothing to worry for because you were the only person he loved

So despite the heavy feeling of insecurity looming over you, you tried to understand his side which eventually caused the both of you to make up

You tried to ignore the insecurity and put your trust on Atsumu

But maybe sometimes, trust isn't just enough

"Y/n, someone's looking for you."

You lifted your gaze from the book you were reading, eyes snapping towards the direction of the door where two unfamiliar students were currently standing and waiting for you.

Even without having the need to hear what they needed you for, you instantly knew why they're here. For the past weeks, after Inarizaki's defeat against Karasuno, you've been bombarded by several girls, holding chocolates and teddy bears in hand, asking you to deliver them to Atsumu since they were afraid of giving it to him directly. So, as his "bestfriend," they wanted you to give it to him instead.

And although you wanted to be mad and scream at them to stop, you couldn't just do that. It would be wrong for you to snap at them since nobody, aside from Suna and Osamu, knew about you and Atsumu's relationship.

Sighing loudly, you shut the book you were reading and went over to the two girls with a semi-forced smile. "For 'Tsumu?" you asked, taking the paperbag from them and taking a peek of what's inside.

One of the girls nodded eagerly, her eyes sparkling as she fanned her face with her hands. "Yes, please! I really really like Atsumu and the way he played from the previous match was so splendid! With every spike, I can't help but fall in love even more!"

You could only chuckle at what she said because even though there was a feeling of jealousy inside of you, you wouldn't be able to deny that what she said was true. You loved how he was able to inspire other people through sports and you couldn't be more proud of being his s/o.

"Please hand this letter to Atsumu, senpai!" the other girl said, bowing down as she handed you a letter.

You reluctantly took the envelope from her, your body becoming stiff as you muttered a small "Okay."

"I put all my feelings and support in that letter so I'd really appreciate if you handed it to him," she said with a smile.

Just how were you supposed to tell these girls to stop giving you stuff and ordering you to hand them over to your boyfriend? You weren't the type of person who would hinder others to relay their feelings. In fact, it wasn't your job to blatantly tell them to give up. It was Atsumu's responsibility, not yours.

But it wasn't your obligation to be their messenger as well.

Torn between two sides, you decided on maintaining a polite smile, giving the two juniors a pat on the head before nodding. "I'll make sure to deliver these to him, okay? Now, go back to your classroom and study well."

The two girls glanced at each other, eyes sparkling before smiling at you. "Thank you so much!" Turning around, the two went on their way, squealing slightly at their successful mission.

You, on the other hand, sighed and stared at the paperbag with a small frown. "Guess that's two more girls on the list," you mumbled before slipping back inside your classroom.

-

When the class ended, you immediately headed to the gym where you knew Atsumu was currently training. With the paperbag and 2 more boxes of chocolate given by some fangirls along the way, you entered the gym and placed the items down on the empty bench.

"That fer me, angel?" came Atsumu's voice from behind you.

Spinning around, you were met with a grinning Atsumu before getting engulfed with a warm hug. Sighing with your eyes closed, you wrapped your arms around him tightly, unconsciously gripping the back of his jersey. You couldn't help but bury your face more to his chest despite the slight sweat clinging to his clothes.

"Ya alright?" Atsumu murmured beside your ear, worry obviously evident on his tone as he slightly squeezed you.

As you were about to answer, someone from behind Atsumu cleared their throat. Your small moment was immediately cut off and Atsumu reeled back as if you were caught doing something wrong.

The comfort he brought awhile ago was instantly replaced by uncertainty and insecurity, making your heart throb as you bit your lower lip.

"Sorry, did I interrupt something?" Aran asked while shifting his gaze between you and Atsumu.

With a forced chuckle, Atsumu was quick to scratch the back of his head. "It's fine. I was just givin' y/n here a hug. They seem kinda down. Ya know, bestfriend duties."

Bestfriend.

"Ah.." Aran simply muttered with a slow nod. "Practice is almost done. Why don't ya sit down while we cool down and clean up?"

Sitting down on the bench, you looked at Aran with a small smile before nodding. "Okay," you said before turning your head to Atsumu's direction. His eyebrow was already raised as if asking you whether you were fine or not.

"I'm fine Atsumu. I'll wait for you here."

When the boys went back to the court, you were left alone to ponder with your thoughts. It felt as if the sounds around you suddenly died, your self doubts once again making its presence known.

You knew how much Atsumu loves you. In fact, he never failed to remind you everyday. Not once did he forgot to say it and express it through actions, or at least when you were both alone.

Everytime you were in school, he would deny your relationship. When people asked if you were his s/o, he would simply shake his head and claim you as his bestfriend. It really didn't bother you at first but as the time passed, you were slowly starting to question why he would do such thing.

Though he claimed that it was to avoid people from harassing you and picking on you, was it really? What if there was a deeper reason?

What if he was slowly getting tired of you? What if he didn't even liked you in the first place?

You anxiously tapped your foot on the floor at the thought. Gripping the hem of your hoodie, you stared at the gifts you brought from his fangirls. You knew that it was an act of invading someone's privacy but you couldn't help but reach for the letter given by your junior awhile ago.

You took a quick glance at the boys, checking if they were still cooling down, before opening the envelope slowly. As you read on the letter, you unconscious tapped your foot faster on the floor, your grip on the paper tightening as you let each words sink into you.

Bit by bit, you absorbed what was written on the paper, making the unpleasant feeling inside you deepen. You wouldn't deny that the letter was well written and you were certain that if it was handed to Atsumu by that girl personally, she might be able to get his attention.

After all, she was pretty. She looked like a bubbly person and someone who people would easily get along with. There was an optimistic aura around her which you knew Atsumu would appreciate.

And maybe if-

"Y/n."

You were snapped out of your thoughts by Atsumu's hand touching your shoulder.

Jolting up slightly, you looked up at him with wide eyes, immediately noticing the worried expression on his face. "Tsumu.." you mumbled with a shaky voice, your eyes glossing with tears as your lips trembled.

Atsumu was quick to sit down beside you. Lifting you up, he sat you down on his lap and nestled your face on the side of his neck, knowing how much you hated it when people see you crying.

"Y-your teammates," you mumbled against his skin, hiding your face even more as you tightened your grip on the letter you were holding, almost crumpling it.

"Let's worry about them later, alright, angel? Yer my priority and ya know that," he answered while rubbing your back, "Now, tell me what happened. Why are ya crying?"

With the overwhelming emotions surrounding you, it took you a few seconds before you could answer, and you were thankful that Atsumu was patient enough to wait instead of forcing you. "Do you really love me, Tsumu?"

You felt Atsumu stiffen at your question and for a biref moment, you were scared of hearing the answer.

Was this it? Was he really lying to you all this time?

"Look at me, angel," Atsumu said, slightly pulling away from his embrace to cup your cheeks in his hands. "Of course, I do. Where is this coming from? Did somebody-"

"No," you cut him off. "It's just that... you always tell people that we're nothing but bestfriends. I can't always have my moments with you because you want to hide our relationship. It didn't really matter at first but... because of your constant denial, your fangirls would keep sending me these random stuffs and ask me to give them to you. I'm scared, Tsumu. What if one day you get tired of me... or worse, what if it's me who gets tired? I don't like this set-up..."

"Y/n-"

"I want to be able to express my feelings. I want the people to know that you're mine. Why can't you show them that you love me, Tsumu?... Do you even love me?"

Atsumu was left speechless as he listened to your words. All he could do was rub your back soothingly while listening to you as you let everything out. As you did, the guilt inside of him kept on piling up, enough to make him clench his jaw at how disappointed he was at himself for making you cry.

"Of course, I do. I love ya so much, angel. Don't ever ferget that. I'm sorry fer not taking yer feelings in consideration. I didn't know that ya have been feeling this way fer quite a while now. I really thought that we were already fine after our first argument about this but.. I guess I should've paid more attention," Atsumu said while staring at you, his hands still cupping your cheeks to angle your face to him. "The reason why I wanted to hide our relationship was fer people not to bother ya. It wasn't my intention to make ya feel insecure. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, angel." Wiping your cheeks with his thumb, Atsumu leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead. "Would it make ya feel better if we open our relationship to other people? No more hiding it."

Nodding, you wrapped your arms around his neck and smiled. "Mhm, yes, please."

"Alright, if that's what ya want."

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ♥️

[princehrry-writings]

Daddy?

happy Easter if you celebrate it!! I've been working on this for a couple weeks!! It's the longest one-shot I think I've ever written.

word count: 5180

please please please flood my inbox with your thoughts and comments!! i want to know what you think!!!

warnings: some swearing (i think), absent birth father, single mom, nothing too serious.

“And who might this be?” He said softly, hoping that he wouldn’t frighten her.

“Tell Harry your name baby,” Y/n brushed a stray piece of hair away from her daughter's face who shied away behind her mom’s leg.

“Stella,” the little girl mumbled, fidgeting with the jeans she hid behind. He felt his heart flutter. She was just so freakin cute.

“It’s lovely to meet you Stella, m’Harry!”

“You talk funny.” The child said, making Harry laugh and Y/n gasp, scolding her daughter for being rude while trying not to laugh at her blunt comment.

“Stella Rose, that was not a very nice thing to say!” Y/n softly reprimanded.

“Sowwy Hawwy,” He chuckled, letting her know he forgave her.

or

Y/n is a single mom and Harry wants to be a part of the family.

.

.

.

Getting pregnant was definitely not something Y/n wanted to be doing at 20 years old. She had a boyfriend and the career of her dreams but as soon as the news broke, one of those things was no longer true. Her ex skipped town faster than she could even finish telling him she was pregnant, so Y/n was left to her own devices since her family was so far away.

She was a songwriter. She had worked with all the big names in the industry from Taylor Swift to All Time Low. She was known for being able to write in any genre, that’s what set her apart and why people were clawing at the chance to work with her.

And then she got pregnant. She kept writing songs until she was eight and a half months along but due to minor complications, her doctor had ordered her to stay home. So she did. She stayed home, had the baby, and raised her all by herself. Now that baby, whose name is Stella, is four years old and is traveling the world with her mom. Y/n had gone back to work when Stella was a year old. At first, she would leave her baby with a sitter, but eventually, she got to a point where Stella was old enough to come along to writing sessions and quietly color or play with toys in a corner. She really liked going to work with her mom. She got to see a bunch of cool places and meet a lot of nice people.

And one of those people was Harry Styles. Y/n had met him a few times back when he was with One Direction, had even tried to work with the band a few times but things never lined up right. But now he was making his second studio album and only wanted the best of the best to write with him so naturally, he called Y/n. Harry knew she had a kid but he didn’t expect her to bring said kid to a writing session. Harry didn’t really mind- he loves kids, but his friends had been known to curse a lot and he didn’t want to cause any harm to the child.

He made sure to give everyone a stern talking to, even though Kid already knew to hold his tongue (his little ones had repeated some colorful words a few times). He wanted everything to go right, needed it to. Y/n was more than just another songwriter.

“Y/n! I’m so glad you could make it!” Harry smiled as she walked into the studio. She smiled back, walking into his open arms for a hug.

“Thank you so much for having me, I’m super stoked to be working with you!” She said, slightly muffled by his neck. Harry looked down behind Y/n and saw a little girl that looked exactly like the woman currently in his arms looking right back up at him. When the two pulled away Harry was quick to kneel down to her height.

“And who might this be?” He said softly, hoping that he wouldn’t frighten her.

“Tell Harry your name baby,” Y/n brushed a stray piece of hair away from her daughter's face who shied away behind her mom’s leg.

“Stella,” the little girl mumbled, fidgeting with the jeans she hid behind. He felt his heart flutter. She was just so freakin cute.

“It’s lovely to meet you Stella, m’Harry!”

“You talk funny.” The child said, making Harry laugh and Y/n gasp, scolding her daughter for being rude while trying not to laugh at her blunt comment.

“Stella Rose, that was not a very nice thing to say!” Y/n softly reprimanded.

“Sowwy Hawwy,” He chuckled, letting her know he forgave her. Although he wasn’t mad, he understood Y/n had to teach her not to say things like that even if they were funny.

When Stella had settled at a table out of the way of the adults in the room with her coloring book and a juice box, the work began. Y/n and Harry sat at a piano bench ( he hoped she couldn’t hear his pounding heart) while Kid and Mitch, along with Jeff, sat scattered around the other furniture in the studio.

“So, I have a couple of ideas that I’ve been sitting on that I think you might like. You can look through this and see if there's something that catches your eye.” Y/n said, handing Harry a notebook. She tried to ignore the tingle she felt run up her arm when their fingers brushed. He flipped around the pages, noticing random little doodles in the corners and in between lines, and the somewhat messy but readable handwriting. He thought it was cute how she connected her s’s to her t’s and k’s when she wrote.

One page, in particular, caught his attention.

Golden, Golden, Golden

As I open my eyes

Hold it, focus

So you take me back to the light

I know you were way too bright for me

I’m hopeless, broken

So you wait for me in the sky

Brown my skin just right

“Is this a verse or a chorus?” He asked, pointing it out to her. She shrugged saying she didn’t really know yet but it would probably be a verse.

“I like it a lot,” He said and she smiled, picking up her guitar and strumming it to the tune she had thought of for the words. He listened and nodded along, already getting ideas for where to go next.

“I like the golden thing. I think that could be a good hook, something like we’re so golden,” Kid spoke up, tapping his fingers along to what she was playing.

“Or you’re so golden,” Mitch suggested. Harry and Y/n’s eyes widened at the same time, both looking up at each other when they heard the line.

“You’re so golden, you’re so golden…” Y/n hummed.

“I’m out of my head, and I know what you said about hearts get broken,”

“How about I’m out of my head and I know that you’re scared because hearts get broken,”

“I like that better, yeah!” Harry smiled, nodding along to the beat.

Y/n looked over 30 minutes later to see Stella had sprawled out on the floor with her arms folded beneath her head, first finger stuck into her mouth, and she smiled, breathing out a laugh.

“She’s so precious,” Harry murmured from beside you. Your gaze found his and the smile on your face widened a little bit.

“She is, isn’t she.” She said, pride present in her eyes.

“Looks just like you as well,”

“Yeah thank god, I don’t know what I would have done if she had ended up looking like her sperm donor,” Malice dripped from the end of her phrase. Y/n couldn’t even entertain the idea of her looking like the man who helped create her. That nerve was still a little raw, not because she had any remaining feelings, but because he had abandoned not only her but the beautiful baby girl who was napping not 15 feet away from her. She figured they were better off without him, yet her heart always shattered a little when Stella asked if she had a daddy like the people she sees on tv.

“I couldn’t imagine finding out the woman I loved was pregnant and then leaving her, any real man would have stayed.” His eyes were genuine, which she appreciated. Most people would say they felt sorry for her, pity dripping from their gaze, but she didn’t need pity, didn’t need people to feel sorry for her. But what Harry said was out of pity, he just honestly couldn’t understand how anyone would abandon a child.

“Yeah well, I guess I just wasn’t the woman he loved.” She said, looking back at her baby. Stella made all of that pain from when he disappeared worth it.

Harry wanted to be able to take that pain away.

---

“Hey I know it’s late, but I have this idea and I want you to hear it,” Harry’s raspy voice chimed through the speaker of Y/n’s phone. She glanced at the time, reading 1:30 AM, and sighed.

“Ok,”

“Come open the door,” He said.

“Wait what? You’re here?”

“Yeah, come on. It’s cold out here.”

“Ugh, hold on,” The woman sighed, hanging up and tip-toeing out of her room so her footsteps wouldn’t wake the sleeping four-year-old in the next room over. Her door was open and she was a light sleeper.

The door swung open and Harry stood there with a small smile on his face, burrowing as deep into his coat as he could to shield himself from the cold air outside.

“Hi!” His cheeky smile made Y/n’s heart flutter.

This was the first of many times he would show up at her place in the middle of the night.

---

Another night of Harry coming over late with a song idea he couldn’t wait to show Y/n, although now it was more he would come over after Stella fell asleep and the two would watch movies and talk, and sometimes write songs (even though the album was done).

The pair were perched on the couch in a heated conversation about whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza (it does and that is a fact not an opinion) when the sound of little footsteps caught their attention. They both looked up from where they sat at the sound of loud crying coming down the stairs, seeing a small child with tears barreling down her face, cheeks flush an angry red, first finger stuck in her mouth, teddy bear clutched tightly to her chest.

“Baby what’s wrong?” Y/n cooed, getting up and sweeping her into her arms. She went and sat back down on the couch, cradling the baby to her chest, brushing her hair out of her face, and rocking her back and forth.

“Scawwy dweam mommy,” She hiccuped into her mom’s neck, where she hid her face. Her tiny hands clutched onto her shirt, finger stick tucked between her lips.

Harry held back a coo at the little girl, feeling himself fall further and further for the little family of two sitting before him. He hadn’t been able to take his mind off of them since that first day he met Stella. He’d always had a schoolboy crush on Y/n since they first met all those years ago but knew it was one-sided when she introduced her boyfriend one of the last times they had seen each other. As fate would have it though, they found their way back to each other. Neither of them could deny the feelings they held, but Y/n was scared to bring someone into the picture because she didn’t want Stella to get attached to someone who wouldn’t be permanent. She was lucky her ex left before he ever got the chance to meet Stella, the kid had no clue what she was missing, therefore didn’t have any pain due to her absent father.

She would be lying if she said she didn’t imagine Harry stepping into that role. But she couldn’t ask that of him. He was at a time in his career where he didn’t have time to be the father of a four year old.

But life is full of surprises.

“Hawwy.” The baby whimpered and crawled off of Y/n’s chest, into his lap and snuggled her head right into him like it was where she was meant to be all along. His heart just about burst when the little girl fisted his shirt, tucking herself into him. His arms instinctively wrapped around her, cradling her into him and rocking her back and forth like her mother had been only moments ago.

Stella calms down almost immediately, to Y/n’s surprise. It usually takes her a while to console her baby from bad dreams, but all Harry had to do was hold her, and boom, no more tears.

“You alright petal?” He cooed into her hair, soothing his hand up and down her back to keep her calm. She nodded, letting out a huge yawn and closing her eyes, falling back asleep in his arms.

Y/n was astonished. Stella had never fallen asleep on anyone but her mom or her grandmother. She’s known Harry for a few months and was acting like he’d been there her whole life.

“Wow… she loves you.” Y/n whispered, not really meaning for him to hear but he did and his smile gave her the impression that he loved her too. But Stella wasn’t the only one he felt such affections for.

“Y/n....” He starts after a moment of silence, “I know this sounds crazy because we’ve only truly known each other for a few months… but I’ve had feelings for you for years. I missed my opportunity when you got with your ex but I’m here now, and I love you, and I love Stella, and I would do anything to stay in both of your lives if you’d have me. I want to be here for you, and I want to be here for her as well.” His confession shocked the woman sitting across from him.

Y/n was quiet, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought while she took in what he was saying. Trying her best to keep her fantasies of playing house with him at bay, she spoke.

“Harry, as much as all of that sounds lovely, you’re about to start press for the album and then go on tour. You’re not gonna have time to be in a relationship, and as much as I wish I could just jump into something like that, I can’t. I have her to think about…” She gestured to the toddler sleeping on him.

“She needs consistency, her life is already hectic enough.”

“So come with me!” He spouted, and then retracted a bit realizing he could wake Stella up.

“What?”

“Come with me! You two travel around already, so come on the press tour with me and then come on the big tour with me! I know this sounds impulsive and it’s probably the craziest thing I’ve ever said in my life ever, but I’ve never been more sure of anything. I know what I want Y/n, and that’s to be a part of this family. I want to be a part of your lives!”

“Harry, I-”

“Please Y/n. Give me a chance! I won’t let you down!” The gleam in his eyes shows her that he’s serious. He really does want this. Harry just hopes that Y/n can see just how willing he is, how much it would mean to him to have (what he already affectionately considers to be) his girls with him on tour.

It’s quiet, only sounds of Stella’s even breaths and the light noise of her sucking on her finger fill the room. Eventually, Y/n gathers her thoughts, mind made up.

“We’ll try it out… see how it goes….” She said, releasing a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding on to. Harry’s smile grew tenfold at her confession, reaching over and bringing her face closer to his to kiss her lips, careful not to wake the baby in his arms.

He had never been happier, Harry decides, than he is right now.

---

“Hawwy?” Stella’s voice catches Y/n’s attention from where she sits on the plane, in between her and Harry. She turns her little head to the man sitting in the aisle seat, big round eyes staring right into his.

“What is it, lovebug?” He asks, pushing her wild baby hairs away from her eyes. Y/n did her very best not to coo at the two of them. Harry had fallen perfectly into step with the mother and daughter, like this duo had been a trio all along. She was still hesitant to think of him as a father figure for Stella though, just because if things went south somehow, she didn’t want her baby suffering a loss like that (a second time).

Stella’s little fists rubbed at her tired eyes. She let out a small ‘hmph’ and laid her head on Harry’s arm, wrapping her own little arms around his.

“Awe you my daddy?” She asked and Y/n choked on her spit, looking back over at the toddler.

“Stella, baby-”

“I would love to be your daddy lovebug, but that’s not really up to me…” He spoke and glanced up at Y/n quickly, trepidation clear in his eyes. Harry was afraid he might overstep. Sure he knew that things were still new between him and Y/n but he wanted nothing more than for Stella to think of him as her dad.

“Who’s it up to?” Y/n could tell she was about to fall asleep but was fighting it in order to get her answers. She had adjusted to a more fast pace schedule quite nicely. She slept through most plane and car rides and absolutely loved being backstage at concerts. Harry thought she looked so adorable with her big noise-canceling headphones on. They had been on the road for a few months now, and it had been 8 months since Y/n decided to give him a chance.

“It’s up to mummy, baby.” He answered, his fingers tangling into his chestnut curls in a futile attempt to keep them out of his face.

Stella’s head immediately whipped to look at her mom, who sat frozen in her seat, not knowing what to do.

“Mommy, is Hawwy my daddy?” She repeated her question. Y/n had a feeling that Stella thought Harry was her real dad, the one that her mom didn’t like to talk about. She had to make sure there was no confusion.

“Not like you're thinking he is, baby. He’s not your birth dad, he didn’t help mommy make you, but if you want him to be your daddy, then that’s ok with me.” Y/n locked eyes with the man sitting across from her with a smile on his face. She was glad that they were flying private because she really didn’t need anyone ruining this moment for them. All her fears of this not working out felt stupid now.

How could she ever think that things with Harry wouldn’t work out? He was right where he belonged.

---

“Daddy!”

“Baby!” Harry knelt down to catch the running (almost) 5 year old, picking her up and spinning her around in his arms. They were in England for two weeks on tour. One for shows, and one so that Y/n and Stella could meet Harry’s mom and sister for the first time as a part of the family. Y/n had met them before as “a friend of Harry’s” many years ago, but they had never met her as Harry’s girlfriend, and they hadn’t met Stella.

Currently, Harry was in the middle of a show and Stella had just escaped her mothers arms side stage in favor of running to her dad. Y/n still couldn’t get over saying that. Harry is Stella’s dad. She doesn’t think that will ever get old.

No one knew how serious the relationship between Y/n and Harry was. The public knew they were together (after a very vague post on instagram of the mother/daughter duo napping with the caption “my girls”). Many people thought this was a PR stunt, just because it was so unlike Harry to post something like that. But he had actually confirmed in an interview that, yes, he was in a relationship with the songwriter and it was pretty serious. That was all he chose to say, in favor of keeping his secrecy, as he so famously loves to do.

What came as a shock to the audience was what the child had called Harry. They all knew about Stella, obviously, but no one would have thought that this child would think of him as her father. A lot of people didn’t like thinking about Harry being a father.

“What are you doing out here baby?�� He said into her ear, making sure he could hear her over the loud noise of the audience. Most of them loved getting glimpses into his life, so the crowd was excited to see Stella out on stage and many thought it was adorable that she already thought of him as her dad.

“Missed you.” She said into his neck. The microphone had somehow picked up their little exchange and the whole crowd sighed a collective “awe” when she said that. She was perched on his hip with her little arms wrapped around his neck, her favorite place if she had to choose one. She was pretty small for a 4-year-old, most people usually thought she was younger.

Harry chuckled and saw Y/n standing there with a smile on her face. Mitch was giggling at the exchange and kept glancing back at Sarah with a knowing look of “That’s going to be us soon,” written on his face.

“I missed you too lovebug, but I’m in the middle of a show! I gotta send you back to mumma.” He said. Stella didn’t like that though, because as soon as the words left his lips she was clinging to him like he was her life force and the tears began streaming down her face. She didn’t like having to share her daddy. She just wanted to be held by him right now, and she’d be damned if she got anything but her way.

This amused everyone, the child's insistence to be in her father's arms, so he sighed and bent to her will because how could he say no to his baby girl?

So he walked over to her mom and got her headphones, slipping them on her, and walked back to his microphone with her on his hip, ready to start the next song.

“Harry and Stella” was trending on twitter the very next morning. No one could get enough of the father-daughter duo.

---

Y/n hadn’t been this nervous since she was about to give birth to Stella. She stood with her baby in her arms as Harry opened the door to his childhood home, announcing to his mom and sister that they were there. She had to wipe her sweaty palms on her jeans more than once.

Anne rushed out from wherever she had been, greeting the three of them. Stella had met Anne via FaceTime many times so it was not news to her (or Gemma) that Harry had stepped into the role of Stella’s father. She will admit she was surprised at first but then she was reminded that Harry had been in their lives for almost a year before Stella had asked the question. It wasn’t something that was rushed into.

Anne was very excited to be meeting her grandbaby and was very excited to meet the girl that had made her a grandmother.

Stella got shy, not being used to seeing “Nana” in person. Gemma had emerged from her spot in the kitchen as well, greeting everyone.

“Hello, my loves! How was the trip?” Anne said, kissing both of them on the cheek, her hand gently caressing the child's cheek in an attempt to get her out of her shell. Once she realized that this was her Nana that was standing before her, Stella reached out for Anne, silently asking to be held by her. Anne jumped at the chance, sweeping the baby into her arms and giving her a big hug, kissing her on the forehead multiple times, not being able to quell her affection for her first grandchild.

“It was good mum, Stell slept the whole way and traffic was pretty light,” Harry said, slipping his hand into his girlfriend’s, brushing his thumb back and forth trying to help calm her anxieties. For whatever reason, Y/n was worried that Gemma and Anne wouldn’t like her because she had come into their son/brother's life with a child, but it was clear that the two ladies loved the idea of Harry being Stella’s father.

“Oh, that's lovely!” She smiled, cuddling Stella impossibly closer to her. Y/n felt most of her worries melt away seeing the woman with her baby.

She felt silly for thinking Anne would be anything but happy.

---

Anne would not put Stella down for anything. The two were attached at the hip every waking second. Y/n was actually starting to miss her baby, but she appreciated getting to spend time with Harry without having to keep an eye on their little one. Gemma was absolutely smitten with Stella as well. She was very excited to be “Auntie Gem” as Stella had quickly adapted to calling her. Stella was very happy as well. She had never been around so much family in her whole life. She’d been so used to just her and her mom, and then just them and Harry, but now she had two whole grandma’s all to herself and an auntie she gets to call her own, something she never knew she was missing, that Y/n never thought her baby would get to have.

Harry was so happy to see his baby with Anne and Gemma. They had been bumped to spot number 3 and 4 on his favorite girl list, with Stella and Y/n taking spots 1 and 2. They didn’t mind one bit.

“Daddy, can we watch a movie?” Stella jumped up onto his lap as he and Y/n sat on the couch, just talking and enjoying each other's company. Y/n smiled at the girl, tightening her grip around Harry’s shoulders, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

“Of course we can lovebug! Go get Nana and auntie Gem and we’ll all pick one out together!” He replied, petting her wild baby hairs out of her eyes just like he always did.

“Auntie Gemma said to ask you if we could watch…” She paused for a second, her little finger tapping on her chin like she couldn’t remember what she was gonna say. Suddenly, she was up and running back to the hallway she had just come from. Y/n and Harry heard little whispers before she came running back out and plopped back onto Harry’s lap, on ‘oof’ erupting from him.

“This Is Us!” She finally said. Harry’s face dropped as he looked behind them to see Gemma standing there, trying to hold back her laughter. Y/n just started cackling and Stella was giggling even though she had no idea what was going on.

“Daddy’s in that movie baby,” Y/n finally calmed down enough to say to her daughter. The little one’s eyes lit up, her hands clasped underneath her chin. This was what she did when she wanted her daddy to say yes to her because she knew he couldn’t resist how adorable she was.

“Please please please!!!!!!” She whined, leaning in to place her forehead against Harry’s. She knew exactly how to get him. He caved every single time.

“Yeah, fine. We can watch it!” He finally said and all three girls cheered. Anne came in at the noise wondering what was going on.

“What’s all this?” She asked and Stella ran up to her, pulling on her

“We watching Daddy’s movie Nana!” She said, jumping up and down with a glowing beam on her face.

“Oh, are we now? Which one?” Anne asked and Stella paused.

“Daddy, how many movies awe you in?” She came back and crawled into his lap. She still had trouble saying her r’s. Her and Harry were working on it.

“Two, lovebug. But one of them you can’t watch until you’re older. It’s too scary f’you.” He said, cuddling his baby into his chest. She put on a little pout hearing that. She didn’t like when her daddy told her no, but this was something he wasn’t gonna budge on.

“Ok,” She sighed. All the adults thought this was adorable.

So they all settled in and watched the movie. Harry had a permanent blush on his face and Stella would jump up and down every time he was on the screen.

“Nana look!! That’s you!!” Anne laughed and nodded to her granddaughter.

“Yes, it is baby!”

“Mommy, why aren’t you in this movie?” She asked and everyone giggled.

“Me and Daddy didn’t know each other very well back then, baby.” Y/n laughed. Stella didn’t really understand but she didn’t say anything else.

The last few days had worn her out and that became very obvious when Harry looked down and saw his baby asleep on his chest, her first finger stuck in her mouth just like it always was when she fell asleep.

“Love, I’m gonna go lay her down, and then I’ll be right back,” Harry whispered, cradling the sleeping girl in his arms and slowly standing up. Y/n nodded, kissing his cheek before he left.

“He’s so good with her!” Gemma cooed, her face lighting up seeing her brother with his kid. A sight she was still kind of getting used to seeing.

“He really is…” Y/n smiled, “It was pretty instant too. Anytime he’d come over and she was still awake, he’d insist on putting her to bed, reading to her, singing to her, he’d bring her toys. She’s had him wrapped around her little finger since he first laid eyes on her.”

“That’s so precious,” Anne spoke up, coming to sit next to her, wrapping Y/n in her warm embrace.

“I can’t wait until you two get married!” Y/n laughed at Gemma’s confession, snuggling into Anne.

“All he has to do is ask, I’m ready to say yes!” What none of the girls knew was that Harry was standing right outside the living room, hearing everything that was being said. His mind raced back to his suitcase where a velvet box sat tucked away between all of his clothes.

He was hesitant to bring the idea up because it had only been a year, but the saying when you know, you know he thought.

He came back into the living room, acting none the wiser, sitting on the other side of the girl he was going to marry (she just didn’t know it yet), and cuddled into her just as she had cuddled into his mom.

“Daddy,” A small voice broke through the now quiet hum of the tv.

“Lovebug, what are you doing back up?” He asked, lifting the sleepy little thing into his lap.

“Scawwy dweam, daddy.” She said and he pouted, pulling her closer into his chest and snuggling her back to sleep.

Harry was exactly where he belonged in life. With his baby girl in his arms, and his Love by his side.

[quickiesgirl]

Sleepiness

Paring: Peter Maximoff x insomniac Reader

Warning: None. Just fluff.

A/n: Haven't written on here for a while. I thought I would stop being a scaredy-cat and post this. Hope it's not that bad.😫

━━━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━━━

Drowsiness and exhaustion was getting the best of you today. Your insomnia left you up the whole night, leaving you to feel this way. Even making you completely forget that you were going to hang out with your boyfriend, Peter, and help babysit his little sister.

You laid in the middle of the bed, trying your best to fall asleep but knowing your body wouldn't let you. A quick knock was heard from your bedroom door bringing you to slightly lift your head.

"Come in." You sighed, expecting Charles or Hank to walk in and ask where you’ve been all day. Peter peeked his head in your room, your curtains were shut and you were sprawled across your bed. Smiling at you when locking eyes.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry, Peter. I forgot!" You mumbled planting your face in your hand as you moved, sitting on the edge of your messy bed.

"It's fine." He said, walking over to you starting to notice your exhausted face and baggy eyes. "are you ok, babe?" He questioned sitting on the bed next to you. "No. I didn't sleep at all last night." "aw babe, I'm so sorry." He wrapped his arms around you, giving you a comforting hug. He leaned down and gave you a kiss, a tender and sweet kiss that made you get butterflies in your stomach.

He gave you a soft smile after he pulled away, looking at you with those sweet dark brown eyes. “How about we go try to relax at my place?”

You nodded.

He quickly sped up and tucked his arms under your back and legs, lifting you from the bed with ease.

You draped your arms around the back of his neck and placed your head in the crevice of his neck. Happy to be in his loving warmth.

“Hold on tight babe.”

In a quick blur, the two of you stood in the hallway at his mother's house.

“Y/nnn!” Lorna giggled, running from the living room where her tea party was set up. She immediately brought a smile to your face as she ran up, hugging you. you ran your fingers through her hair, looking down at her. “Hi, sweetheart.”

Peter crouched down next to his little sister, “Wanna do me a huge favor?”

Lorna tilted her head at him, giving a tiny toothy grin “maybe.”

You smiled down at Peter and kept combing your fingers through the little girl’s brown hair.

“Y/N isn't feeling so good today, so do you think we can lay down with her to make her happy? ”

“But what about my tea party.” Lorna furrowed her brows at him and her small arms hugged your legs tighter.

“I promise tomorrow we will have a tea party, and you can even do my hair and make-up.”

Lorna looked up at you for a moment and back at her big brother.

She slowly raised her hand toward’s Peter sticking her pinky out. “You pinky promise?”

Peter locked pinky’s and smiled, “I promise.”

Lorna grew a wide smile. You and Peter watched her quickly run off into the living room, grabbing her favorite small pink teddy bear and back over to the two of you.

“C’mere.” Peter said quickly picking Lorna up into his arm, so she didn't have to walk down the stairs. You guys walked down to the basement and crawled up on Peter’s cozy bed that was covered with blankets. Peter set Lorna down on her feet watching her jump up onto the short bed, and plopped next to you with her teddy wrapped in her arms.

“You’re the cutest little girl in the world, you know that?” You said to Lorna, booping her little nose as she giggled.

“I know,” Peter replied, flopping on the bed next to you two. Making Lorna started to cackle at his silly response. “She was talking to me!” She told him, holding onto her little teddy.

“Nu-huh! She was talking to me.” Peter said smirking like a child.

“Noooo! I'm number 1.”

“So I'm second?”

“...Yeah!” She said starting to giggle.

Peter perched his bottom lip out and crossed his arms over his chest making you start to laugh at his childness. “You’re both the cutest!”

Lorna gave a little toothy smile and laid in your arms.

Peter smiled ear to ear at how cute you two were. He slowly pulled one of the blankets up, wrapping his arm around you two.

Eventually, exhaustion took over, feeling yourself drift to deep sleep with the rest of them.

Peter's mom, Magda, got home from work a few hours later. She closed the door behind her, hung her jacket on the rack, and set her purse on the bench next to her.

“I’m home,” Magda shouted. Usually, Lorna would run up and greet her, but she didn't get her usual response. She looked in the living room, seeing nobody. She glanced around, eyeing the slightly cracked basement door.

Magda stepped down the creaky basement steps, hearing the sound of light snoring. She made it to the end of the stairs and looked over at the three of you. You guys were all fast asleep. Your head rested against Lorna’s as she laid between you and Peter, as Peter’s arm still wrapped over the two.

Magda smiled feeling her heart warm by the sight.

[double-hoe-seven]

AFC Richmond as boyfriends

Here’s a lil headcanon collection of our favorite himbos as boyfriends.

I did it again for the staff (: AFC Richmond Staff as partners

A/N: Definitely didn’t put everyone but these were my top ones and it’s 2 AM so imma leave it here.

Sam Obisanya

The absolute sweetest man you have ever met

Such a softie, very concerned about making sure you’re happy and comfortable with whatever choices you make together.

He always picks the most random times to surprise you with things; showing up at your work randomly for lunch or with coffee/tea, random little souvenirs from his away games.

He’s always putting himself second and sometimes you have to remind him “hey, babe, you can do things for yourself, you deserve nice things too.”

Just, compliments galore with him. He’ll always find a way to compliment you on something.

The most cuddly person ever, he loves public affection (hand holding, piggy backing, hugging, kissing if it’s not raunchy, etc), he really just likes showing you off because he feels like the luckiest man in the world to have you.

He takes his time with your relationship, letting it bloom and grow at it’s own pace.

There aren’t many fights between you, hardly ever, the last “fight” you had was because you couldn’t unanimously decide which dog to rescue. The solution? You adopted both, now you share a one-eyed Jack Russell Terrier named Starro and a three legged German Shepherd puppy named Harry (Pawter. He was so proud at his pun when he showed you the then 3-month old puppy.)

Again, just the sweetest, more romantic man you’ve ever met and ever will meet.

thesexisgoodtoo. hesaverygentleandgivinglover

Isaac McAdoo

Man’s stubborn.

I mean it, he is as stubborn as a mule.

I’M DEAD SERIOUS, he once pouted for 5 days when you accidentally ate the last Rolo in the flat.

But he’s also romantic in a sort of rugged way?

He won’t go shopping with you but he knows what colors look best on you, he knows what styles look good on you, and he has your sizes and shades memorized.

Bear.

Mr. sometimes-crank-teddy-bear over here.

He’ll say he doesn’t want something but he will eat half of your food if given the chance. If you step away from your food to get a drink or something, there will be a good part mission when you get back.

Its a tradition to go on a date the morning of a game, and snuggle up with a movie after the game.

You have had more than a few drunk texts from him, all of them equally funny and full of sexual innuendos.

You don’t address his Rolo addiction. It could be something much worse anyway.

Richard Montlaur

So many visits to the goat farm he was raised on!

He really has to drag you back to London after visiting his parents because you don’t want to leave all the precious goats (and you and his parents get along famously).

You spend alternating holidays with each others families (except for Bastille day, you always spend that either together or with his family.)

There are always roses in your shared flat.

It’s a constant battle over his facial hair.

He has a grudge against the way the English make French pastries.

He has a habit of falling asleep on the couch or in uncomfortable positions and then wondering why his back or neck hurts.

Little spoon.

He’s teaching you French.

This man is a smooth operator, master at flirtation and romance. He’s good at planning romantic dates and outtings.

Dani Rojas

You 100% believe his mom when she says he was born caffeinated.

One of your first dates was a Mumford and Sons concert which was an interesting experience.

Soft boi hours with him. He’s a lil puppy dog.

Does this man ever sleep? Rarely.

He rises with the son and wants to get the day started immediately but he’s mostly letting you sleep in now.

He LOVES trying new things, exploring new places, generally having new experiences.

His absolute favorite thing to do when he’s not training is playing football (or any game, really) with the kids in your neighborhood. They all love him.

He’s a sweet boyfriend, not as sweet as Sam but he’s a close second.

You alternate who plans date night. You split the chores 50/50 but divvy it up if one of you is sick or has more work to do.

There’s so much alcohol in your flat its unreal.

You usually go to sleep before him but he has a bad habit of throwing himself into bed and partially waking you.

He makes the best breakfast most mornings.

And don’t forget the trips back home to visit his family in Guadalajara.

After a long day of training, he loves just laying down with his head on your lap while you run your fingers through his hair.

Jamie Tartt (Season 1)

FUCK NO

Jamie Tartt (Season 2)

On your first date you got drunk and bonded over shitty fathers.

Not that either of you really remembered the next day, you were both too hungover to immediately recall the night.

His love language is kind words.

At the start he needed a lot of reassuring that you did care about him for who he was, warts and all.

He’s slightly awkward when it comes to romantic gestures so most of the date planning falls on you don’t mind.

He still has some high maintenance behavior but he’s working on it and you’re proud of how far he’s come from the prick he used to be.

Your fights are usually over petty shit like where to eat for dinner or what movie to go see.

He will not hesitate to buy your feminine products for you. He knows your preferred brands and sizes and what treats you like when its that time.

He’s good at those rigged carnival games, the many little stuffed animals in your closet can attest to that.

He talks in his sleep. It’s all nonsense.

He has a soft spot for the neighbor’s cat (and cats in general).

Roy Kent

Rugged.

He’s great to snuggle up to.

The man is honest to boot. He doesn’t sugar coat anything at all.

10/10 times he will go down on you if asked. He’s a giver.

He is the heaviest sleeper in the world. You don’t know why he bothers setting alarms.

Phoebe has a room at your flat and spends so much time with you both.

Many nights have been spent reading different books on the couch together.

He has to clean the drains since 75% of it is his.

Fuck is a very versatile word in your home, used daily.

Not the most romantic man alive but he has his moments.

Date nights are usually relaxed and proper but sometimes you can make the old man have a little fun.

He growls at least a dozen times a day, it’s his main response.

Jan Maas

My beloved

My sweet, beloved Jan who can’t/won’t use a filter to save his life.

He’s blunt in everything and sometimes it makes you want to slap him.

Jan is still getting used to English ways and mannerisms.

He has good intentions but sometimes needs a little help with wording.

He likes going on Aquarium dates.

The more tired he is, the clingier he is and it’s too cute.

Once after a game he plopped onto the couch next to you and basically tried to curl up in your lap.

He can make amazing pancakes.

Thats it though.

You’ll do most of the cooking if you value living in a flat that’s not on fire.

He’s a sweetheart though.

Mostly good intentions though.

Doesn’t mind nudity and had to quickly be reined in by the team. Not at home though.

At home he can easily be found lounging in boxers and a t-shirt while he sips coffee.

He knows what he’s doing.

Tag Team: @bdffkierenwalker​

[xoxo-teddybear]

Fair Warning - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: cursing, crack, fluff, Yui Kodai slander (I’m sorry), STREET FIGHTING (but inside a classroom), we love supportive boyfriend Bakugou, and we love bestie Mina <3

Request: I need a female Y/N to beat a bitch’s ass and have Katsuki in that background like “that’s my baby☺️”

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

“Bitch!” Mina comes in yelling with excitement. You were currently cuddling with your boyfriend as you sat on his lap at his desk seat when you took notice of your best friend calling for you.

Katsuki had his arms wrapped around your waist as you had your own wrapped around his neck. Both your eyes were closed as your head was tucked into Katsuki’s neck and his head was leaning atop of yours. Did y’all care that y’all were in the classroom? No. Bakugou was so clearly irritated by the pink girl. I mean, she was interrupting cuddle times.

“Listen Pinky, I had a bad morning and we’re in the middle of something here so if someone isn’t fucking dying then you better scram.” Bakugou calmly warned your friend as his eyes remained shut and his hold on you tightened. You giggled at your boyfriend’s empty threat and pecked his cheek before looking towards your bestie.

“What’s up?” You asked with your sweet voice. Bakugou groaned as he realized now some dumb shit has to happen.

“What’s up? What’s up?! Girl! Yui Kodai-“

“Ew.” You and your boyfriend both said at the mentioned of the girl’s name from class 1-b. For some reason, she just rubbed the both of you the wrong way. And it wasn’t even that Katsuki was just following your lead because you were his girl, he just genuinely didn’t like her either.

“Right!” Mina agreed. “But anyway, I was walking by 1-B’s classroom and I overheard her talking her shit, and here’s the best part, about you and Bakugou.”

At her words, you and Katsuki both tensed up at that. What the hell did this bitch have to say about your very happy and nearly perfect relationship?

“The fuck did she say?” You asked with a still very calm voice. You were very intrigued with where this conversation was going. It was a very known fact that your boyfriend was very attractive and yes he pulled bitches left and right. So yes, you were well aware of Yui’s little crush on him, but that usually didn’t bother you because Katsuki made it very clear that if it wasn’t you, he didn’t want or need it.

“She’s all talking about how if you weren’t around, she could easily pull Bakugou and how you’re an ‘ugly bitch’-“

As she continued to tell you all the shit that was said, you felt Katsuki’s hold on you tightened even more. You look to your boyfriend while you listened to Mina and noticed his angry expression. To soothe his nerves, you gently grabbed his face with your tiny hand and gave him a sweet peck on the lips before giving your attention back to Mina.

“-and then she finished it by saying she’d whoop your ass any time of the day.” Mina finished.

“Oh really?” You chuckled out. You lightly tapped on Katsuki’s arm to signal him to let you go and he reluctantly did so.

You were far too calm to be at ease with this whole thing. You were like the calm before a storm or a jaguar getting ready to pounce. You walked out the classroom and Katsuki chuckled as he had an idea of what was about to go down. He followed you out the room and Mina was left with excitement. She went to follow the both of you but not before telling the whole class about the shit that was about to surely spiral.

“Y’all wanna go see Y/N beat a bitch?” She called out and the lot of class 1-A, especially the Bakusquad, excitedly followed. The class watched as you slid opened the door to 1-B with a very calm demeanor.

You looked inside until you spotted your target. Yui Kodai. You motioned for the class to watch from the doorway, with the Bakusquad having front row seats to the upcoming show. 1-B quickly took notice of 1-A’s presence and silence rang through the room. You walked to Yui, finally grabbing her attention as she looked at you in shock and fear. She stood up from her seat as she backed up a few steps, which did nothing as you just went in closer.

“You know we ‘bout to fight, right?” You bluntly said.

“What?” Was all she could get out before you jumped her ass. At least you gave her a fair warning. You brought her to the ground as you banged your fist into her face while your other hand tugged at her hair. All the students grew rowdy and watched from beyond. You finally picked Yui up by her hair and used your training to kick her across the room and to the front. She got up in a hurry to defend herself but you continued to beat her ass.

The students all looked to Bakugou to gaze his reaction on how wild his girlfriend was getting, but they were only met with a grin of a proud partner.

“That’s my Teddy Bear,” Katsuki said with a hand over his heart while he had a goofy smile on his face as he watched you drag her ass around the front of the room.

“Teddy Bear?!” Denki questioned. “Y/N’s a freaking she-beast!”

“Yeaahhhhhhhh....” Katsuki said as he continued to look at you in bliss. Eventually, Yui began to bleed and that’s when Bakugou sucked in a breath. As much as he wanted to watch the fight continue, he came to the conclusion that he would have to stop you before you got expelled or something. He didn’t care if Yui got hurt, he just didn’t want you in trouble.

“Uhh, Y/N! Don’t you think you should tone it down a bit before Aizawa or Vlad comes?” Kirishima asked. You took a pause from the fight but still held a firm grip on Yui’s hair as you looked towards the red head.

“What’s he gonna do? Erase my quirk?” You said with a sarcastic voice.

“Yes, actually, I will and am.” Aizawa said from behind the 1-A crowd. The students moved out of the way as Aizawa walked to you with his hair up in the air and his eyes glowing red. You continued to look at your teacher with an unbothered and unfazed face as your hold on Yui’s hair never faltered. You and your teacher had a 10 second stare off before you turned to Yui....and continued to whoop her ass. That’s when Bakugou and Awase decided to pull you two apart.

“Okay baby, that’s enough,” your boyfriend said as he pulled you back. You pouted at your boyfriend with an angry scrunch on your nose that he found adorable but knew it was a sign that you were pissed at him for stopping you. “Don’t give me that look.”

You huffed and looked back at Yui to take a look at the damage you caused. Her hair was mangled and some of it was ripped out and scattered the floor as her nose was bleeding and she had scratches and bruises covering her face and body. Tears filled her eyes and her clothes were dirtied while you looked as pretty and fresh as a daisy. Not a scratch on you. You smirked at the sight and settled in Bakugou’s hold. He took notice of your calm cooperation and let you go. You turned and smiled at him with a proud look. Unfortunately, the spotlight was on Bakugou and so he had to choose his words very carefully.

“Y/N, you know I love you but all that was uncalled for. You should’ve handled the situation differently, dumbass.” He blankly said. Your proud look fell and was replaced with a look of sadness as your boyfriend reprimanded you. You looked down to your shoes in embarrassment as Aizawa sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Alright look, my class go back to the room. I’ll stay here and wait for Vlad to come in so I can explain the situation. Awase, take Kodai to recovery girl and Y/N, I would scold you but I’m pretty sure getting told off by your boyfriend was enough. That’s all. Dismissed.” Aizawa said as he waited in 1-B’s room.

The students of 1-A all walked back to their own classroom, everyone all hyped up over the exciting fight. You kept your head down as you walked but felt a grip on your arm as you were dragged to another hallway away from everyone. You looked up to see your boyfriend looking down at you with a serious face. You pouted at him in embarrassment until his face grew a smile that showed how proud he was. Your mood instantly improved and you smiled like a happy puppy as he pulled you in for a hug and kissed your forehead.

“Nice work Teddy Bear.” He said, holding you tight.

“You’re not mad at me?” You said, smiling up at him as you were pressed into his chest. He just shook his head and smiled some more.

“‘Course not. You kicked her ass, and she completely deserved it.” he laughed out. You laughed with him before you both shared a cute kiss and walked hand in hand back to the others.

Yes. We very much love a supportive Bakugou boyfriend.

A/N: horrible ending, Ik but yeah :)

Taglist: @sxcker4you @aomi04

[jimlingss]

i have a request for something Taehyung! maybe taehyung christmas/holiday??? OR taehyung and the prompt "Give me attention"??? honestly i will take anything taehyung 🤩

↳ The Best Friend’s Older Brother Cliché

2.3k || 99% Fluff, 1% Angst || Kim Taehyung || Best Friend’s Older Brother!AU

Taehyung is your best friend’s older brother. 

It’s so entirely cliché that you cringe whenever you think about it, but it’s true and it happened…..you had the tiniest crush on him in high school. Okay— it was a big, fat crush. But you weren’t willing to admit it, not then and certainly not now. Mostly because it’s weird. Plus there’s the fact that it would be breaking the code of honour between besties. Sisters before misters.

The last thing you would want is to make Joy upset. 

But when you came home from college in the summer and Taehyung returned from his own studies abroad...you didn’t expect him to look like that.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“H-Hey.”

Taller. Leaner. Better dressed.

Maybe it had just been a long time since you’ve seen Taehyung. Maybe you had gotten desensitized but the long period away from him made you hyper aware of his existence again. Either way, seeing him made you realize that he had very much become a man.

He was no longer just the unattainable, cool teenage boy that you swooned over but left behind nonetheless in your coming of age years. And that fact slapped you across the face.

You didn’t expect for him to be like that either.

To smile at you like that. To strike up conversations. To be interested in what you were doing, where you were going.

“What are you majoring in again?”

“Anthropology.”

“Really? That’s super cool. I took one anthropology class when I was a freshman. Do you like it?”

“It’s not too bad. I think it’s interesting.”

Taehyung smiles faintly. “I always knew you were smart.” 

It was one date. 

You came over. Joy was abruptly called in to fill a shift at her summer job at the ice cream parlor.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I swear I’m going to choke Jimin.”

“And then who’s gonna have to bail you out? Get going before you’re late.”

“Promise we’ll hang out more tomorrow.”

“Have fun at work!”

Taehyung happened to be there, hanging around the house, and he offered to drive you home.

“You really don’t have to.”

“I’m not going to make you take the bus in this hot weather, you know that right?” The corner of his mouth tugs easily. “Just get in the car.”

Except you both stopped to grab a small bite. A burger and fries. While sitting out at the park.

You’re not sure if that even constitutes as a date — there was nothing said about it, no mention made, all entirely too casual to be considered one. But it was the first time you and Taehyung were alone together.

Okay, if that counts...then technically it was two dates.

You and Joy went out to Jungkook’s party. She had a little too much to drink and the pair of you needed a ride home afterwards. Naturally, Taehyung was the one who picked you up in his car, begrudgingly, as Joy fought him before she laid down in the backseat, but he still flashed you that smile.

“Had fun tonight?”

“It was alright.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t end up going home with him.”

“Who?”

“You know. That guy with the glasses you were talking to on the lawn.”

“Namjoon? Oh no, we’re just friends.”

“Hmm. Is that so.”

After Joy was put to bed and tucked in, Taehyung asked if you wanted to stick around to watch a movie. You might or might not have cuddled into him during those three hours, but really was it cuddling? He just slung his arm over the couch where you were sitting and you leaned into his chest.

The two of you were just getting comfortable.

Alright, if that counts, then it was three dates but just three!

Taehyung asked you out personally, but it was to help him pick a gift for Joy’s birthday. He drove you downtown and you walked together in the streets, checking out boutiques before parading around the mall.

“What do you think?”

“Joy hates camo print and she doesn’t need another backpack, Taehyung.”

“Perfect! So she’ll love this then.”

He ended up getting a sweater she’d been eyeing for months.

When it became dark and you got hungry, instead of being dropped off at home, you went to the night market together on a whim. You snacked, had conversations and exchanged numerous stories. You still remember the laughter and how much your cheeks ached when you finally jumped into bed that night.

But before the summer ended, before you both left for your respective colleges, he wanted to talk.

“I had a lot of fun this summer.”

You eye him. “What did you even do this summer?” 

“Hang out with you.” Taehyung grins, eyes sparkling with mischief. “And I liked it.”

“Good. I might be hurt if you thought this entire time was awful.”

“I like you too much to ever think that. But...hear me out. What would you think we made things offici—

“We’re going to be super busy,” you interrupt in a panic, having a sense of where he was going with this. “...going to different schools and all that.”

You search his expression while schooling your own. Taehyung stays silent for a second and tries to read you. You’re not sure how successful he is.

“Right.”

“I’ll contact you, Taehyung.”

He smiles at that and eases. “Okay. Yeah. Sounds good. You can call or text me anytime.”

“Anytime?” You try to lighten the mood by shooting him an incredulous look. “I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

“If it’s you, it wouldn’t be a bother. Trust me.”

Except when you got back, you didn’t call him. You didn’t text him either.

You only saw him briefly when Joy would occasionally facetime him in the same room as you, when you were merely a figure in the background and Taehyung would ask who it was.

“Y/N, of course, who else?”

And you would give a small wave.

There were no conversations, no small talk, no exchanges of laughter. But it was better that way. Otherwise, you wouldn't know what Joy would say, how she’d react. You don’t even know if he’s serious about you. And you’re too scared to find out the answers to any of these questions.

It didn’t matter anyway. Deep down, you know Taehyung should be kept at a distance. You know it would be better if these feelings could fade away as a sweet, brief summer romance.

What you didn’t anticipate is to come over to the Kim’s for the holidays a few months later.

“Where are you going?”

Taehyung’s following after you, trailing at your heels like a lovesick puppy. “And don’t tell me you’re showering because you already used that excuse to avoid me today.”

You spin around, masking your startlement at just how close he is, and you frown. “I’m not avoiding you.”

The corner of his mouth tugs. “We shouldn’t lie to each other, sweetheart, even if you have the tendency to do that.”

You feel hot in your face from the pet name. “I never lied to you.”

Taehyung raises his brows. The both of you know then and there it’s a lie.

“My empty phone says differently.”

You cross your arms defensively. “I never promised I’d remain in contact. I was just...busy with classes.”

“Oh. Another lie again.” Taehyung grins, and he exhales softly causing a hundred goosebumps to raise along your skin when you feel the warmth of his breath. “You should really stop your bad habit, Y/N.”

You take a step back and he steps forward.

Before you know it, he’s cornered you in the dark hallway, staring at you intently before his half-lidded eyes flicker to your lips.

You swallow hard. “Go annoy your sister instead.”

“Why should I?” His mouth slyly curls. “I like you way better.”

For the entire duration of the break so far, the both of you have been sneaking around the whole time. From Taehyung instigating a game of footsies under the dinner table to whispering in your ear when no one’s looking to winking at you from across the room so quickly that you’d miss it if you blinked. You feel his affectionate hand on the small of your back when he slides by you, feel his gaze when his shoulders graze yours, and you feel the tickle in your tummy when his voice lowers into that seductive, husky pitch. 

During the summer, he was kind and friendly Taehyung. Cautious when it came to you. Hesitant to look your way.

But this time, he’s intensified. Flirtatious. Bold. Pulling out all stops.

Maybe it’s because he’s pissed that you didn’t contact him like you said you would. Maybe because he doesn’t understand why you’re restraining yourself, and he feels the need to push to know. Maybe because he suspects you know he likes you, and you like him — he wouldn’t be wrong. 

But either way, his new brazen approach was making you weak in your knees.

“Your mom’s coming,” you mutter while pressing your hands to his chest. You don’t know how or why he feels so firm.

“She isn’t. But even if she was, she’d be more than happy to know we’re together.”

“W-We’re not together, Tae.”

“That could change right now.”

“I...I can’t.”

His thick brows furrow. “Why not? I like you, Y/N, a lot.”

You swallow hard, feeling scrutinized under his heavy gaze. Taehyung’s beauty is lethal when he’s this close and you feel an urge to brush away the dark strand that’s fallen in front of his forehead from his neatly styled hair. It was a contrast to the casual hoodie and sweatpants he was wearing. He was handsome and cozy, ready to stop hearts or be hugged like a teddy bear.

It didn’t help that he was saying these kinds of things either. “I know.”

“I don’t think you do.” His voice drops a pitch. “For the past few months, I’ve been thinking about the summer and you. The entire time, I was waiting for you to call me, to text me. Do you know what that’s like?”

“Taehyung.”

“We can make this work. I want to make it work, so don’t make me wait anymore.”

You gaze at him, breath hitched in your throat and your self-control meets its limit. You practically leap onto Taehyung, heart thundering against your rib cage, standing on the tips of your toes — all to kiss him.

It’s soft and unhurried. 

Taehyung is caught off guard, but then you feel his wide smile against you. Immediately, his strong arm reaches for your waist and he tugs you in. A yelp escapes your throat as your bodies become flush against one another. Taehyung’s other hand presses against the wall behind you and he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. His tongue licks into your mouth and you groan, wrapping your arms around his neck. He tastes like sugar cookies, smells like citrus, and absolutely makes your knees weak.

You’re not sure how long you and Taehyung make out for, swapping spit like horny teenagers without experience.

It’s not until you hear a— “what the hell!” — do you break apart.

Joy is standing at the end of the hall and you shove Taehyung away from you, wide-eyed. He stumbles back, equally surprised.

“I-I can explain!”

Joy’s jaw has gone slack and you realize she’s waiting for said explanation.

“I….I…we….umm….”

Taehyung looks at you and then at his sister, opening his mouth to rescue you from this mortifying experience. But his sibling beats him to the punch—

“Look.” She raises her hands and you brace yourself. She wouldn’t end your years of friendship over this, would she? Then again, you can’t blame her if she did. “You don’t have to make this weird. It isn’t weird unless you make it weird. So I’ll just pretend I didn’t see anything.”

“Wait.....what?” That was certainly not the reaction you were expecting. You think you’re more taken aback than she is. “You’re okay with this? You’re okay if we’re dating?”

Joy nonchalantly shrugs. “It’s not a big deal. You’re adults, so you can make your own decisions and I kind of had a feeling there was something going on anyway.” She smiles and looks at her older brother. “Taehyung, you’re way too obvious. The biggest gift under the tree is for her from you.”

He grins. “You caught me there.”

You’re shell-shocked at how unconcerned she is and seemingly supportive at that.

“You knew?”

“Of course I do. We’ve been friends for what, ten years? I knew you had a crush on my brother back then. So if anything, it’s about time.” Joy raises her fist at Taehyung. “You better not make Y/N cry or I’ll make you cry.”

He snorts. “Wow, thanks.”

“Anyway, continue.” Joy lazily gestures. “But we’re watching a movie in five so be quick.”

Your best friend leaves to the bathroom where she was heading to in the first place and you turn to Taehyung who has an amused grin. “Well?”

“I don’t know.” Your mind is reeling at everything that’s happening and how real this is becoming. “For some reason in my mind, I thought that would go way worse.”

“Is that why you were so worried? You didn’t need to be. Joy likes you way more than she likes me, so if anything I’d be the one getting the flack.” Taehyung smiles and leans in. “But does this mean we can finally make it official? Can I call you my girlfriend already?”

You sigh and lift your arms to loop around his neck again. He leans in for another kiss, but you stop short an inch— “Depends on what that gift under the tree is.”

Taehyung grins and before you can pull away, he tugs your waist into him once more. 

This time you kiss each other unabashedly. 

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 here! / Part 2 Here!

* The flight feels shorter than you remember, maybe it’s because you don’t need to sleep anymore.

* When you land, you expect to see Carmen there, but instead it’s the entire Coven.

* They look like a group of supermodels, and they’re all holding gifts, you see several people staring at them. Every teenage boy’s fantasy no doubt.

* They’re holding balloons, and a woman (the one you believe is Carmen) is holding one of those giant teddy bears. They even have a sign that says “Welcome Home (Y/N).”

* You didn't think vampires could feel embarrassed.

* But here you are, living proof that they’re wrong.

* Tanya brings you into a hug before you can even be worried about being an unwanted addition.

* “Welcome home, we are so glad to have you here”

* “We have an important question for you,” the woman beside her asks, her long straight hair sparkles under the dark sky.

* Kate, you presume.

* “Which do you like more, pink flowers or yellow flowers?”

* The question catches you completely off guard, and when you look down you see she’s holding out a bouquet of sunflowers and hydrangeas towards you.

* You’re not sure if this is all a test, and maybe you’re overthinking all this, but you remember sunflowers mean loyalty.

* “Um... the yellow ones I suppose.”

* “See Irina I told you they would love the yellow ones.”

* Irina rolls her eyes, but she’s grinning. She’s the one holding a bouquet of balloons

* “I bet they like the balloons I picked out better though, they’re a nice touch.”

* “Is everything alright?” Tanya turns to you. Her eyebrows are threaded in concern. “Are you thirsty?”

* You shake your head, you feel bloated if anything.

* You’re happy, you really are. It’s just...

* “I’m just a little overwhelmed,” you admit.

* Back at the castle you did have company, but it was sparse. After you were transformed, you only saw Alec or Jane once every few days, if at all.

* So this much attention, all at once, it’s a lot to handle right now.

* “Let’s give them some space, it’s been a long day.” Eleazer nudges them all away, and towards getting your luggage in the car.

* While they’re all busy taking your things, and arguing about where they parked the car, you’re left alone with Carmen

* Carmen who is holding a very large stuffed bear.

* You gulp. You’ve been so busy worried about Tanya you haven’t thought about Carmen. Her husband disappears after he received a call from his old coven, and then he comes back with some newborn.

* You wouldn’t be happy if you were in her place.

* She clears her throat beside you.

* “Do you like bears?”

* A long second of silence passes as your mind tries to comprehend what’s happening.

* “I-yes I like bears.”

* She thrusts the bear out towards you, and you take it gingerly, balancing the two bouquets the Denali sisters had given you earlier.

* “If there’s ever anything you don’t like,” you whip your head to look at her, her eyes are focused on the horizon, they’re narrowed like she’s picking her words carefully. “Or if you would rather have a lion, or something completely different all together, you can tell me.”

* She turns to look at you, and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

* “Okay,” you smile back.

* It’s a long drive to their home, they live deep in the mountains.

* “We’re here,” Tanya sings from the driver's seat.

* The house is secured by an ivy ridden wall, so high you can barely see the tree branches hang over the ledge

* There’s a large iron gate at the front, and past it, what appears to be a gravel road.

* Tanya cracks her window down, pressing her finger to sensor.

* “We’ll have to add your fingerprints later, little one”

* “Tanya don’t call them that, it’s offensive,” Irina hisses from beside them.

* “Ah, sorry darling,” she meets your gaze from her rear view mirror.

* “No offense taken,” you mumble.

* The house is exactly the opposite of what the Cullens’ home looked like in the movies.

* It’s a four story home, well it’s a mansion, all dark brick, with a rugged face. You can count on one hand how many windows you currently see.

* It looks exactly like somewhere Dracula might live.

* The inside is equally intimidating, there’s actually a suit of armor near the entrance, like this is some Scooby Doo-esque castle.

* Kate leads the grand tour, walking you through their living room, fully equipped with a wall of swords, a 90 inch flat screen TV, and a family portrait hung over a roaring fire.

* She only waves at the kitchen.

* “It’s just for show.”

* She explains the living situation to you.

* “Irina, Tanya and I all have our rooms on the second floor,” she points to each room, all in completely different directions.

* “Carmen and Eleazer use the third floor,” She waves to the right end of the hall.

* “There’s also a movie theatre and another living area on this floor,” Irina adds from her other side.

* You expect to be staying near the happy couple, so they can keep an eye on you.

* You’re surprised when Kate keeps climbing the stairs,

* “On the right is the library, and on the left is a stairwell that leads to the roof”

* “And right here,” Irina grins, “is your room.”

* The second she opens the door you’re engulfed in light.

* It’s so bright.

* When the place comes into focus, you’re amazed.

* The entire room aside from the entrance wall, and the ceiling, are made from glass.

* There’s a roaring fireplace on one side, several cases full of books, a large plush armchair, and a bed.

* It’s like a queen’s bed, with mahogany spirals and creamy white bedding.

* “What’s with the bed?” It adds a nice touch to the room, but it’s not like you need it.

* “Oh well we thought maybe-“ Kate breaks off mid thought, looking to Irina for help who nods.

* “We thought maybe you might want it to pretend to sleep,” she finishes for her sister. Then noticing your confused expression she quickly adds “or as a comfy place to read, or for... other activities.”

* “Irina!” Kate shouts at the same time you cover your face in embarrassment. Sex is the farthest thing from your mind.

* “What? They need to know this is an open household.”

* “What did you mean about pretending to sleep?” You quickly interject.

* “Well you know,” Irina exchanges a look with her sister.

* “You just shut your eyes, and imagine things,” Kate finishes.

* “I did it a lot when I first transformed, helped me feel more human” Irina adds.

* “I still do it every so often, it’s a nice way to relax” Kate tells you.

* “I never thought to do that.” You mumble to yourself, sitting on the bed. The two exchange another look.

* They want to ask you questions, about the Volturi, and about your past.

* But thinking better of it, they decide to leave so you can get settled.

* As soon as they’re gone, you fall back into the bed.

* Pretending to sleep, what a strange thing, the books never talked about it.

* You turn your head to the side, looking out your window walls.

* “It really is a beautiful view.”

* The pine trees sway in the wind, the grey sky beyond it.

* You sigh, you’ll try and give that “pretending to sleep” thing a try.

* You close your eyes and imagine all sorts of things. You imagine being in your old body and doing crunches so that you could get abs. You imagine eating soup on a cold day while it rains outside, and you think about reading in the library with Alec and Jane. How you would sit in the nook, right below the window and bask in the sun.

* You’re abruptly broken out of the dream when you hear your door creak open.

* You sit upright with a start, eyes open, and your head turned to face the intruder.

* All you see is Eleazer shaking from laughter, as he hides his mouth in his hand.

* You turn to look at the clock, it’s 3 in the morning and it’s dark outside.

* “Thirsty yet?” He finally manages to say after a solid minute of laugh at you.

* You are growing a little parched.

* “We’re about to go hunt,.” Eleazer actually grins as he tells you.

* You move to stand and follow him outside.

* Tanya and Carmen are already waiting for you outside, they don’t need to explain much, it seems pretty obvious.

* Stalk the animal, and then kill, totally easy.

* Tanya and Carmen even corner a deer for you.

* You should be able to kill it, you should WANT to devour it, your throat is so dry, even a bit of relief seems nice right now.

* But when you look into it’s eyes, wide with fear, it looks just like a dog.

* You can’t do it.

* But everyone’s waiting for you to drink, how are you going to survive from here on out? There’s no Alec, bringing you a blood bag every few days, you can’t drink from humans and you can’t drink from animals what are you going-

* You’re broken out of your internal monologue by a pained scream, when you look around you, you see Carmen and Tanya kneeling on the ground.

* Crap your powers.

* The deer crumples to the floor, the fearful look in its eyes intensified.

* “I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”

* And then you run, you climb up the tallest tree you can find and crumple into yourself like a collapsing star.

* What was your end game here? To raise hell on this world? Right.

* How are you going to do that when you can’t even control your emotions or even feed yourself.

* Geez, even Edward managed to eat rapists and murders.

* You feel the branch you’re crouched on shift a bit and look up to see Carmen.

* She instinctively reached for you only to flinch back, your power to reaching her.

* She must notice the look on your face because she smiles and says:

* “Don’t worry I’ve felt worse.”

* Well you don’t have time to unpack all of that.

* “I can’t kill an animal,” you finally admit.

* You’re waiting for her fury, but she just shrugs.

* “That’s alright, you know, I hate pretending to be a student, so I don’t do the school thing.”

* She continues on, “Kate hates going to the grocery store, Irina hates making small talk with the mail man, even Eleazer hates having to deal with their forgery, especially when it’s time to move

* “What about Tanya?”

* Carmen scoffs.

* “Tanya hates having to see Edward,” then realizing you might not know Edward she adds, “One of Carlisle’s coven.”

* You knew in the book Tanya felt scorned, but you didn’t think she hated him.

* “The point is, we all have things we don’t like to do.”

* Ah here it comes, the whole “but we do them for the better of the coven” spiel.

* “So we do them for each other.”

* Well this is unexpected.

* “Eleazer and I get supplies, Kate and Irina handle going to school and keeping our front, and Tanya handles the big picture stuff.”

* She puts her hand on top of your own, you hadn’t realized she had gotten so close, or that you were feeling calm enough to let her get close.

* “The point is, if there’s something you don’t want to do, it’s okay. You’re apart of our family now, and we help each other.”

* You nod.

* “Come, let’s go home.”

* When you get home, you see Tanya and Irina literally draining the blood out of a bear in the kitchen.

* “Ah you’re back! Look what we got you!”

* Tanya says it like she got you a new desk, not that she’s literally draining the blood out of an animal into a reusable starbucks cup.

* “Maybe we should do this for ourselves too, it’s much more convenient, and this way my blouses won’t get dirty” Irina comments, sealing another bottle and putting it in the fridge.

* “Tanya I’m sorry about before, I-“

* “There’s nothing to be sorry for little one,” she cradled your face in her blood stained hands. “I am sorry, I thought you seemed uncomfortable, but I thought it might be the thirst.”

* You nod slowly, they’re being so kind to you. You don’t know how to handle it tbh.

* “Tanya! We talked about this, you can’t call them little one, it’s condescending.” Irina hisses, and Tanya sucks her teeth.

* “Ah yes, sorry darling, you are just so young.” She pats your cheek, and then grins. “More importantly, you are so powerful!”

* Tanya’s beaming like a pageant mom who’s child just won first place.

* “You should have seen it Irina, she had me AND Carmen on the ground! It was incredible!”

* “I’ve never seen anything like it except with-“

* “Except with Jane,” you finish.

* The similarity had been noted by Aro, the type of power that only came once a century.

* Tanya’s expression darkens for a moment, Jane had been the one to carry out the order to kill her mother.

* Then it’s gone, her eyes fill with warmth once they settle onto you once more.

* “Eleazer, what is their power?”

* You hadn’t even realised he had come into the room

* “It’s an aura” he says it all matter of fact, like everyone in the room should know what that means. Upon noticing the confused looks he elaborates.

* “Basically whatever emotions they feel are felt by those around them, right now it seems to be a limited range of emotions.” He meets your gaze, he must mean the despair you feel.

* “But given time, it can extend to all emotions.”

* Well this is news to you, does that mean one day... you might be able to give happiness to others as well?

* You take a sip of the blood and have to hide your cringe.

* It’s disgusting, what the hell was that bear eating.

* “Delicious” you murmur, taking another disgusting sip.

* “Fantastic! This finally gives us an excuse to stock the fridge!”

* Irina opens the fridge to show several bottles full of blood.

* Great.

* The next few days pass in a haze, you “dream” every so often, drink the disgusting bear blood, and read.

* Oh and you also spend a lot of time with your new family. Getting together for a morning run is compulsory

* The only cringe worthy thing is drinking that gross blood.

* If you had to describe the taste, you would say it had a rich flavour at first, but it’s masked with a game-y aftertaste, it only gets worse over time, developing into a straight up skunky after taste.

* You sit on your bed, looking out your many windows/walls, to the frost covered estate.

* You wonder if humans taste that bad when you find them at random, it makes sense why the Volturi’s main racket were wellness retreats, three days of cleansing the blood with vitamin rich food.

* And then you’re struck with an idea.

* “Hey Carmen, you said I could ask if I need something right?”

* “Yes of course.”

* “I was wondering if I could have the far most corner of the estate?”

* She shrugs.

* “Sure.”

* You spend a few days making the fence, sanding down the wood.

* It’s actually pretty easy when you never get tired, or need a break, or when you’re not afraid you might get hurt.

* And, because Alaska is known for cruel weather, you make a barn with Kate’s help.

* “If I knew you were building something out here I would have asked Esme to draw something up for you.”

* “Nah, I wanted to do it myself.”

* Between the two of you, it’s pretty quick work, but it’s basically a rickety poorly built box.

* But it will do.

* It’s a good parcel of land, at least a quarter of an acre.

* Now comes the hard part.

* You’ve finally cornered a deer, probably the same deer from a few weeks ago.

* “Do you want to be friends?” you hold out an apple, and it watches you with a curious glance before running away.

* Well, it’s not a dog, it’s not going to follow you home because you just because you gave it food.

* You repeat the process with several other deer, but you don’t make much progress.

* You repeat the process for a few days, until you finally get the deer to eat the food you offer, and another several days until one will follow you back into the pen.

* You’re not really sure why it did, it’s trembling and afraid, but you guess it’s probably close to starving at this point.

* “Here,” you give it a healthy meal, before leading it to the barn you’ve sloppily built.

* You’re about to go inside, but noticing that it’s still trembling in fear, you decide to spend the night with it.

* “Dreaming” isn’t any different in your bed than it is in a creaky, poorly built barn.

* After that night, you and the deer are closer.

* “I think I’ll name you Henrietta, that’s a good name don’t you think.”

* You get a few more after that, but none of them like you as much as Henrietta.

* They’re mostly following you for food, well at least they won’t die as long as they’re with you.

* And so three days pass, you deer have healthy nutrient rich blood flowing through their veins.

* “Hey Eleazer?”

* He hums in acknowledgement, his hands are busy nailing in the nail on his birdhouse.

* “Do you think Carlisle might visit sometime?”

* Eleazer’s hands stop moving.

* “Do you want him to visit?”

* Well of course you do, he’s the only person you know with any kind of medical experience. He has to show you how to -hygienically- extract blood from your deer without killing them or contaminating the blood.

* “I think we were making a lot of progress with my powers before we stopped.”

* Eleazer nods.

* “I’ll give him a call soon.”

* Another few days pass, time seems to move differently now. You can’t tell how much time has passed, even the nights and days start to blur together, after all the nights are so much longer here in Alaska.

* And yet, it’s peaceful, you read books, and drink your disgusting bear blood. You watch Irina and Tanya play chess, and Kate sharpen her sword. Carmen likes to embroider when she can, and Eleazer enjoys wood work.

* It’s nice here

* You’re reading in your room when you hear them, Carlisle’ss soft gentle voice from down stairs.

* You haven’t seen him in so long, you convince yourself you’re rushing to greet him because you’ll always be grateful for what he did for you.

* But you know it’s actually because you miss him.

* He was the first person to show you true compassion.

* You get to the bottom of the stairs expecting to see Carlisle, and you do, but there’s someone else.

* He’s tall, at least he’s taller than you.

* His hair... it’s -what’s it called-, not quite red, not quite brown either.

* Auburn.

* Auburn hair as thick as a lions mane, hangs around his face, deep gold eyes, and a splatter of freckles across the bridge of his nose.

* This is actually the first boy vampire around your age you’ve seen. Alec was close, but he was younger than you by a handful of years.

* If your heart could beat, you’re sure it would be drumming.

* He’s beautiful. Chiseled cheekbones, and full lips.

* You’re suddenly starting to feel very conscious of the baggy sweatshirt and leggings you’re wearing

* His eyes meet yours, and they stay there, narrowing into a glare.

* Well that’s rude.

* Carlisle doesn’t seem to notice, pulling you into a hug.

* “You look well,” he says, his eyes are so warm as they gaze down at you that you can’t help but smile. “How are you handling the transition?”

* You know he really means to ask if you’re happy now, if you’re free.

* You nod, this is more than you could have ever hoped for.

* His smile widens.

* “I’m glad to hear that,” then noticing he hasn’t introduced you yet, he looks over his shoulder.

* “(Y/N), this is the son I told you about, Edward.”

* This is Edward?

* You turn to look at him again, this amber eyes narrowed.

* It’s not a glare, it’s concentration.

* He can’t read your mind.

* “Edward, this is (Y/N), my friend from Volterra.”

* Carlisle says it in such an easy way, like he didn’t meet you in the brink of despair, when you were pleading him to kill you.

* You gulp as Edward lifts his hand, and you gingerly take in yours.

* “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

[mammonsvulva]

Hi there! I just discovered your page and i loved the bachata headcannon!

On that same line, can you do a female latina headcannon? Like, more specifically, Colombian, you know, an MC that's like normally fluent in english but when mad she just burst on angry spanish screaming session with latin curses and a strong accent and also just getting really mad if deemed as Mexican by default? I'd love that! Thank youuuu (also feel free to ignored this if it's not of your fancy)

I hope you have a great day!

Of course! I really hope you like it! :)

(I tried to incorporate things some of my relatives say as Colombians please don’t hate me🥲)

The Brothers + Datables and a Latina MC with Colombian Habits

Lucifer❤️

Lucifer has always been amused by the boldness MC portrayed, that is until Mammon pissed her off

MC actually f*cking explodes, calling Mammon “culicagao” (like a bratty kid) and a bunch of profanities out of rage

Actually leaves Lucifer surprised, who could she hate so much that she’d put a curse on them?

Is actually kind of scared to speak up after she went silent, kinda just stares at her like “what the fuck do I do”

“I’ve told Mammon A THOUSAND TIMES. IM NOT F*CKING MEXICAN”

(Oooohh Mammons gonna get his ASS WHOOPED)

“MAAAAAAMMMMOOOOONNN????”

Mammon💛

Could learn a thing or two from MC, had some strong clap backs

Is counting his money when OUT OF NOWHERE MC just starts incanting a literal curse

Literally has his quaking in his boots dude, like he’s genuinely terrified

He can’t keep up with anything she’s saying and feels like his time to die has come

Doesn’t say A WORD when she calms down, jumps when she starts apologizing for reacting like that

“W-w-what happened? ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )”

“I LOST 10 GRAND IN BLACK JACK! ITS FUCKING RIGGED!”

Is genuinely more cautious for a while, kind of traumatized him

Mammon thought it’d be a great Idea to take her to meet one of his witches, MC already didn’t like her but listen to this

First thing the witch said was “Aren’t you that Mexican transfer student or whatever?”

(‘Oooh Ms. Girl you fucked up’)

Leviathan💙

Wishes he could have MCs confidence, ‘how does she respond like that 0•0’

He’s reading Manga while MC just lost on the same level for the 5th time

Accidentally shifts to his demon for he got so scared

Has to whip his tail up and grab the controller before she could slam it, genuinely terrified for his well being

Once she calms down she goes to give him a hug, to help with her frustration

*PANICS* “I-I can h-help you with that level, if y-you want..”

MC watches as he beats it with ease and heaves a sigh of relief, literally such a stupid game

Gets just as offended as MC when somebody said “I went to Mexico on vacation once, what was it like growing up there?”

Will let her handle it and he’ll be her Moral Support <3

Satan💚

Loved that MC was always ready, he was like that too being the Avatar of Wrath

Is genuinely amused when MC burst out swearing because she got a bad grade, he actually thought it was hilarious

Thinks of like a game to keep up with everything she’s shouting, makes her more upset

“What the fuck are you laughing at juemadre de la-“

“You’re Hot when you’re mad, Did you know that?”

Makes her go silent immediately, why is he like this, making people wanna act up on DIAVOLO

When they’re BOTH mad at something it’s like a f*cking BOMB RAID bro

They both just keep adding more, even when Satans speaking a Demon Dialect and MC is speaking Spanish LMAOO

When an arrogant soul decides to purposely mislabel MC as Mexican, the fool needs to count his seconds with MC and Satan both getting on his ass

Asmodeus💞

Has always liked the spunk MC had, it entertained him to watch her bicker with his brothers

Surprised, but not happy AT ALL with the fact that MC could blow up like that

Gets on MC for lashing out, “MC! THIS IS TERRIBLE FOR YOUR SKIN, DO YOU WANT WRINKLES?”

Gets MC to tell him what made her loose her cool like that

“That stupid b*tch from class posted saying “That Mexican transfer student isn’t pretty enough to be this annoying”

Almost explodes as bad as MC did

“MS. GIRL SHE SAID WHAT? Lemme hop on Devilgram and end her career real quick💖”

Devilgram post- Asmodeus 19:34: “Aw sweetie, Not everybody can be as gorgeous as MC and muah, but don’t go trying to drag her in the dirt with you. Filthy🥱”

No mercy on the haters💔

Beelzebub🧡

Like Asmo, found it entertaining to see MC bicker with his brothers every now and then

MC just couldn’t keep calm anymore when she messed up the recipe she was working on AGAIN

Beel becomes more concerned than scared, ‘Is she ok? :(‘

Gets up to hug MC, hoping it’ll help calm her down a bit

She explains that she kept ruining the dessert no matter how hard she tried

“MC, it’s ok to do it wrong, because it helps you learn how to do it right :)”

She’s tried again, except this time with Beel to help her :)

Gets upset when someone defaults MC as Mexican, knowing how much she hates it

He may be a teddy bear but man don’t f*ck with his Chef

Belphegor💜

Thought MC was amusing with the way she made sure everyone knew she wouldn’t take any BS

MC just happened to stub her toe while Belphie was sleeping, and now he’s awake, and heated

“What the f*ck happened?”

Is actually more concerned than upset, she wouldn’t lash out like that for no reason

When MC explains that a picture of her in the RAD Catalog still ended up being there even though she made it clear she was against it

“Oh, MC- you look good in every photo, I wouldn’t be upset about it”

Assures her it’s not a big deal and then invites her to come take a nap with him

Will mean mug the f*ck out of anyone who assumes MC is Mexican, because he finds extremely disrespectful (as it is)

Might commit homicide if they keep saying Mexican but I ain’t no snitch

+

Diavolo♥️

At first took MC as disrespectful, but learned it was only when she felt she was being disrespected (then by all means, go off)

Surprisingly, Diavolo speaks Spanish, but he still kind of struggles to keep up

He’s just laughing the whole time too, like MC isn’t furious

Later, MC calmly explains just some random student pissed her off again

“Who is this student you say? Do I need to have a chat with them as the Demon Lord of The Devildom? :)?”

Dia actually admires how passionate MC is about her home country, agrees that it’s disrespectful to mislabel someone

Because he can, Dia starts to learn about Colombian culture and throwing parties just for MC

Starts saying shit like “politas pa la rumba!” (I’ll buy beers for everyone¿) just to sound cool to MC

Barbatos💟

Barb doesn’t understand how someone could be so beautiful but so hostile sometimes, overall doesn’t really mind though

Is surprised that such things could conde from MC, kind of chuckles thinking about it

He figured he should try and step in to calm the situation

“Is there anything I can do to ease you, MC?”

It ended up being that Diavolo was completely ignoring her and brushing her aside when he never did that with Solomon

Asks if she’d like him to talk to Dia about it, since he may approach it better than she will

Barb will quietly correct anybody who believes her to be Mexican, just so MC won’t have to deal with their arrogance herself

Takes his free time and makes dishes from Colombia, or Colombian themed cookies or cupcakes to make MC happy :)

Simeon🤍

Is trying to teach MC better ways to respond to idiots, more Angelic ways

When MC blows up for the first time in front of him, the literal shock she sent him into omfg

*GASP* “MC?! WHY ARE YOU SAYING SUCH VILE THINGS?”

Like, HELLOOO? SHE DARES TO SAY SUCH THINGS IN AN ANGELS PRESENCE?

Helps to calm her down after showing distaste for her words

“You’re lips are to beautiful to speak such sinful things”

Will go on to give MC a long but kind lecture about why exploding like that is bad for her Aura and whatever

Will politely make it known that someone was wrong for assuming MC is Mexican, does get a bit irritated though

He now goes up to MC when she’s getting upset, to remind her to breathe and comfort her with a deep hug :)

“See? It’s ok MC~ just breathe in and out for me, ok? :)”

Solomon⚛️

Will piss MC off on purpose just to see her pop off, he LOVES it

Literally her #1 cheerleader when she blows up, adding on to what she’s upset about

“Period MC” “No way she said that! What a fugly b*tch” “Right, she’s just a hater”

Hypes her up all the time, even when she’s obviously in the wrong

Sol needs ALL the tea, pulls up like “who we talking shit about?”

Will get on someone’s ass just because, now think about when someone mislabels MC😳💥

Gives MC a sense of pride hearing him say “Cagué” when he messes up a potion, he obviously picked that up from her

Luke⛅️

Gets kinda (really) scared when MC becomes a little aggressive

Actually bursts out crying because he was scared MC was mas at him

MC traumatized this kid so bad, he ran to Simeon like he was getting chased be some demons

“M-m-mom is really m-mad and *sobs* I’m s-scared *sobs more*”

MC IMMEDIATELY feels super bad because she scared away his soul

Simeon, having talked to her about it already, mouthed “Apologize now.” In a very not polite manner, kinda scaring MC too🚫🧢

Has MC apologizing PROFUSELY, trying to explain it wasn’t Luke’s fault

Once he calms down, they go to bake cookies like usual, except this time he’s sniffing the whole time :( 💔

I really hope this fit what you asked for :( </3

[svtkillua]

little lion man > 2

rating: [pg-13 / angst] pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader x todoroki shouto warnings: cursing, lots of yummy angst >:)) word count: 11.3k listen while you read here!

join the discord!

ch.1 + ch.2 + ch.3 + ch.4 (final) + alt. ending

A broken heart was a nuisance, an annoying leech that sucked the life out of you every moment you paused to think about the pain it was spreading through your limbs. Every second you spent with your mind not occupied you wanted to scream and cry. It felt like your emotions were burning embers and anytime you paused to give it oxygen the fire would grow and consume you til you were nothing but ashes.

You  had been on a roller coaster for a week straight, you had highs and lows and every dip and turn was filled with Bakugou. He was in your favorite songs and covering your walls. He was in your brain and in your vision and filled your senses down to your atoms that made you alive. Sometimes you felt angry, sometimes you felt happy, but mostly you felt so incredibly sad.

You’d managed to, mostly, get Bakugou off your case after repeatedly insisting you’d just been surprised and upset at the possibility of losing him. It wasn’t technically a lie, you were definitely surprised when he’d announced his plans to get engaged. To say you hadn’t seen it coming would have been an understatement.  You conveniently left out that your heart had been crushed and that you’d never suffered a pain more severe in your entire life thus far. It had felt like you got hit head on by a speeding train that you’d been too slow to dodge.

Now was the hard part; to continue to act like you were okay, like you couldn’t wait to watch him get married and see them began their happily ever after. You were pinning your emotions to the back of your mind and tying them down with a neat little bow because you needed to. You would be the best friend Bakugou deserved and yearned for right now, even if it made you feel like your insides were rotting.

All of it was frustrating. It was frustrating he didn’t love you but you so unwaveringly loved him. It was frustrating he could so easily tell when something was wrong with you and made it so much harder for you to lie. It was frustrating that every moment alone felt like torture because all you could think of was him with her and there was nothing to distract you. He had been your distraction when you’d been hurt before, and now he was unknowingly the cause and couldn’t be the cure.

Maybe you’d just feel this sad, heartbroken and lonely forever. Maybe you’d always be stupidly in love with someone whose heart was taken. Maybe you were foolish for thinking you could’ve had a chance if you tried harder. Maybe you’d be alone and in love til the day you died with someone you’d never have and would never want you. Maybe that was your fate in life, to have a permanent fake smile and empty feeling in your chest.

It was all affecting you more than you could let on, though you were mostly convincing, sometimes even to yourself. It was like your brain had turned to stone and got chipped to pieces too small to make coherent thoughts other than how awful you felt at times. You just needed to ignore the gnawing in your chest that had been so consistent lately it was becoming a part of you. Then you would be fine, you had to be.

For Bakugou.

He was obviously worried about you, even after the long phone call and a few days passing. He’d been calling more frequently and every time his voice would waver on the edge of concern when your tone wasn’t quite right. Whether or not he trusted what you had told him didn’t matter, because you could hear the worry lacing his tone when he’d repeatedly asked if you were okay. It only solidified your decision to put your feelings aside and focus on him, because you loved him too much to egg on the anxiety you were causing him. Besides, there was no reason for the both of you to be living a pained existence.

Convincing yourself that locking your feelings behind a perfect smile would be easy had been step one, though in the far parts of your mind you knew it wouldn’t ever work. Now, you just had to actually put that thought into action and try to be there for him. Perhaps the self sacrifice would persuade the universe to give you a break.

The wind whipped at your cheeks as your eyes squinted into the cool air blowing your hair away from your face. Your feet made soft clapping sounds against the pavement as you took a quick peek towards Bakugou’s building, the large inconspicuous residence you hadn’t been to in months. Perhaps it felt more intimidating because you’d be alone with Bakugou for the first time in a long time. The thought made your abdomen twist uncomfortably, the wind shifting directions, your jacket flitting open.

The sky was a pale blue and dotted with soft looking white clouds, the streets slow but bustling as workers fled their jobs for lunch. The day wasn’t nearly as ominous looking as your last time seeing Bakugou had been, but your mind still felt restless as the front door came into view. Your fingers were wrapping around your phone before you could dwell on it, plucking it from your coat pocket, fingers to drumming across the glass.

To; Bakugou [ 15:04 ]:

I’m here come let me in it’s cold!

Coming over for a late lunch had been Bakugou’s idea after you’d been seemingly sticking to phone calls rather than visits in person when he had free time. He’d been complaining about it and you could only tell the boy no so many times before he’d multiply his suspicions and assume the worst. He opened the door after a few minutes, a breathtaking grin on his face as he promptly reached out and tugged you inside.

You were met with a gush of warmth as the door closed behind you, a content sigh slipping out as you hung up your coat and slid your phone into your back pocket for safekeeping. He flashed a relaxed smile as you slipped your shoes off, his body pulling yours in for a hug the moment you stood upright. You tensed for a second when his body molded into yours, but took a shaky breathe to relax, slithering your own arms around his waist.

“Missed you.” He hummed mutely and slowly slid his arms off of you, his tongue poking out to wet his lips as he looked down at you. His hands moved to your shoulders as he held you at an arm’s length, eyes examining your entirety.

“We talked on the phone yesterday, Katsu.” You quietly laughed and patted his chest with your palms out flat, dipping your body away from him as you moved further into his home. Something about being here had always made you feel content. Maybe it was because it smelled like he did when you’d hug him so tight he’d burn into your senses.

Your eyes flickered around the living room you hadn’t seen in so long, landing on picture frame after picture frame filled with photos of him and Camie. Sure, there were some mixed in of yourself, his family and the boys, but you could tell without counting that most of the new items in the room were featuring her. From the baby pink teddy bear sitting on a desk in the corner, to the several photos of the two of them dotting the white walls, her presence was made known.

Hatred wasn’t something you felt for her but jealousy without a doubt was. It wasn’t that you disliked yourself, you just had an ever expanding nagging in your brain reminding you of all the things she had you lacked. She was smart and graceful and kind and oh so beautiful, according to Bakugou. She had gotten his affections just by being herself and you were resentful that you being you apparently wasn’t enough to do the same. Not for him, at least.

He cared about her and that was so immensely obvious just by having seen the two of them interacting. It made your confidence deflate. All the things you so badly wanted to do with Bakugou, she would get. The memory of her kissing his lips and holding his hand replayed in your head like a sick movie designed to make you ill and you had to take a deep breathe to try to push that sickness away.

You followed Bakugou’s retreating back towards his kitchen, away from the taunting photos, where he’d set up a small lunch for the pair of you. A small smile spread on your lips as you sat, eyes watching him move around his kitchen to get you both drinks. You could see his lips moving but his words weren’t registering in your conscience, though he seemed to be talking about what he ordered you for lunch. All you could focus on was how relaxed he looked there in the kitchen with you, chuckling to himself about how much food he’d bought.

Little moments like this had been what made it so simple to develop feelings for him. He just seemed so close to you in those minutes when he was the most himself he could be, just talking about his day and moving without thinking. When you were alone like this he wasn’t Bakugou Katsuki the hero, he was Bakugou Katsuki, your idiot of a best friend who loved to make you smile.

Had you really been that stupid for thinking that maybe, somewhere, in the deepest parts of his heart, he had been falling in love with you too?  Had it been stupid to think that these moments alone had felt just a right as they had to you? How was it possible for you to have been developing such different feelings every single second of your time together? You had only ever been watching him when he had never really glanced at you, not in the way you yearned for.

“Here we go.” Bakugou sighed, finally settling into his seat, placing a mug of your favorite tea in front of you before he sipped some of his own. You noticed he was using the mug you’d sent him a couple months ago while he was on tour, shifting your eyes to his face as you picked up your utensils.

“Thanks, Katsu.” You smiled a small but genuine smile as you took a bite, your smile spreading as you took another, much bigger one. Bakugou’s light laughter made heat rush along your face as you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Shut up, I haven’t eaten all day.” You defended halfheartedly, taking another bite before snapping your chopsticks towards his face, which only made him laugh a bit harder, his head shaking from side to side.

“You just look cute with your cheeks all puffed out like that. Like a chipmunk or something.” He commented, using his finger tip to poke one of your food filled cheeks, making your eyes roll.

The two of you fell into your easy rhythm so quickly and it felt like for just a few minutes you didn’t have to keep your guard up. You didn’t need to pretend you were happy because simply being with Bakugou made you so much happier than you wanted to admit. You wanted so badly to hate him for making you feel this way, but you just couldn’t seem to.

You were both sipping your tea, plates mostly empty,  a huge amount of leftovers on the counter. The kitchen silent besides the quiet ticking of the clock on the far wall behind you, as it had been for a few moments since your conversation died out. His eyes had averted from yours when the silence fell, your own taking advantage of the beat in conversation,  trailing over the lines of his jaw and neck. You watched as his muscles moved when he swallowed and let out a small huff of air, it sounding a little strained.

His fingertip was dragging lazily along the rim of the mug he had set down, a drip of the brown liquid rolling down the side of the cup and pooling onto the table below it. Your knee bounced under the table as he took a slow inhale before he spoke, the anxiety bubbling in your stomach.

“Were you mad at me? The other night, I mean? Were you mad?” His eyes were avoiding yours as the words slipped out, perhaps because he knew this was the tenth time he’d asked you the past week if he’d done something wrong. To you, he had done something hugely wrong by loving Camie instead of you, but you couldn’t exactly tell him that without telling him everything, and that was a conversation you definitely weren’t having right that moment.

“Why would I have been mad at you Katsu?” You took a second to compose yourself before you spoke, not wanting to give yourself away or say something you shouldn’t. You knew if you kept avoiding this conversation he’d eventually grow agitated but you also had to tread carefully or he’d start figuring things out.

You lifted your cup up to your lips, which puckered to blow some of the steam away before you took a drink. His eyes shifted over to your, moving from your hands, to the mug, then up to your eyes, his own masked slightly by his lashes and messy, spiky pieces of hair. He ran his fingers through it to push it aside.

“I don’t know, I just…  I just feel like something changed, like we changed. I don’t want you to think that just because I’ll be married to Camie that we’re going to be any different. I wouldn’t ever let that happen to us.” His bottom lip tucked up under his teeth as he scrunched his face up some. His ruby eyes squinted closed as his lip slowly slipped out from under his teeth, lips pursing as he debated his words. “I know that everything seems really sudden, we’ve only really been together a year. I shouldn’t have expected you to be ecstatic when you barely know her.”

His voice was quiet but felt so loud in the space surrounding you, the air reverberating with the sounds. Everything had changed when he told you, you changed and you knew he could see the shift. The way he’d hugged you when he left made it obvious he knew you weren’t okay even if he appeared to be telling himself you were. You couldn’t have been sure why, maybe it was because Kaminari had walked in on your conversation, or perhaps it was because Camie had been there.

“She’s just so incredible, she’s so special to me. I don’t even know how I got lucky enough to get her. The idea of losing Camie now…” He trailed off his little rant, eyes moving away from yours and down towards his cup, staring at his spoon as he swirled it around. His head shook slightly as he tilted his head upwards so his eyes were on you again.

You were sure you loved him more than Camie never would. How was it possible for him to not see that you meant so much more to him than a friend? How could he for a second think that no one who love him again when you always had?

“I just, I can’t lose you, either of you. I need her but I need you too, so badly.” Bakugou’s gentle tone felt like he was trying to calm you down, like he didn’t want to awaken the sadness in your heart he wasn’t sure was there inside you. “No matter what happens with me and her I’m always going to care about you and need you, here, with me.”

Was it possible to be dumped by someone you were never dating? You felt like he was giving you the talk when all you’d ever done was daydream from a safe distance about what it would be like to be his. Why did he feel the need to explain how much he needed her when you didn’t need convincing that he was in love with her? You thought you were the only one not acting like yourself, but seeing Bakugou’s eyes now darting between yours made you question that.

“Katsu, I know you love her, I know you need her. Relax. You know you don’t have to explain yourself to me.” It was the truth, Bakugou never needed to explain himself to you, and right now you didn’t particularly want him to. You could only listen to him fawn over her so much before you’d start feeling like you were being suffocated. “I just want you to be happy Bakugou, no matter what.”

He stayed still for a moment, his fingers having grown motionless against the cup as he focused in on you. He was scrutinizing you, trying to read your thoughts and find out your very secrets you were struggling to hide. You’d thought you’d been convincing but perhaps you weren’t as good of an actress as you had thought.

The obnoxious ringing from his phone got the attention of both of your gazes, his screen lighting up and flashing with Camie’s name. You bit down hard on your bottom lip, standing up with your dirty cup and heading towards the kitchen sink as he cleared his throat behind you before answering.

“Hey…Yeah, sorry we were eating lunch.” You could hear bits of his conversation as you turned the water on and rinsed your cup out, glancing at him over your shoulder as he retreated from the room, phone pressed to his ear as his voice caught your ears again. “No, it’s just me and her.”

A quiet sigh left your lips once he was out of your line of vision and you tilted your head downwards, damp hands gripping the countertop. You could feel yourself getting worked up as you repeated him talking about her in your head.

In the movies and books they always made it seem like getting your heart broken was one quick moment, but it wasn’t. It was so slow. It was all consuming and would build and build until you finally couldn’t take it anymore. It would kick at your chest and turn your skin deep purple and blue. It would throw hammers at your ribs and rip apart the bones before yanking out your heart. It would squeeze it tightly and cut off the blood flow and make that pain grow and grow til it was all too much.

It was breaking you, the only question was what would be the final push to ruin you. How many more words of his love for her could you take?  You were barely making it as it was, your eyes were lined in dark circles makeup couldn’t quite cover up, your body sluggish and mind in a fog. You could only ignore the silent pain for so long before you were going to lose it, despite how hard you were trying to make it okay.

You placed the cup in the dish rack before padding your way through the house, looking for Bakugou, spotting his back in the crack of his bedroom door. Judging by the sound of his muffled voice he appeared to still be on the phone, his messy hair moving slightly as he shook his bit of head you could see.

“…just haven’t been alone for a while, that’s all. You know I wanna see you, too.” Was all you picked up as you walked past, going into his makeshift study. It was a small room with a desk, some bookshelves and a little keyboard in the corner. You shut the door behind you as you sighed, rubbing the bridge of your nose. You dropped down into the chair at his desk, using your foot to kick off the ground and give it a light spin.

The room was hushed besides the sound of the world outside coming through the barely cracked open window, the curtains fluttering in the breeze coming through. His space was littered with crumpled up papers and stacks of books and magazines so high you were surprised they hadn’t toppled onto the ground yet.

You sighed quietly as you slid your phone from your pocket, hair falling into your face like a curtain you were too lazy to move. You hummed to yourself as you noticed you had a text waiting from Todoroki and opened it with a tap of your finger, eyes flickering over the words.

Todoroki [ 15:44 ] :

Do you want to come over and watch a movie later? I got that new mystery thriller you wanted to see.

Your fingers drummed over the letters as you sent a quick response back, before setting your phone back into your pocket.

To; Todoroki [ 16:02 ] :

Sorry, was eating lunch with Katsu. That sounds great, I’ll text you once I’m home.

Your fingertip slid along the edge of the desk as you rocked side to side in the chair, eyes trailing along behind it before you paused, noticing his top desk drawer was ajar. Curiosity got the best of you as you slowly gripped the edge, giving it a gentle tug open. It was mostly junk, scrap papers and little notes tossed inside to be reread later. You moved to shut it when it caught your eye; a small, black, velvet box tucked safely in the back corner.

The air felt thick as you halted your movements, unable to tear your eyes away from the unassuming object as your lips parted to let out a sharp breathe. You hesitated before picking it up, your mind going a mile a minute at the possibilities of what could be inside. You held the box delicately in the middle of your palm, as if it could snap and bite you if you touched it wrong. Your breathing felt too labored, chest too tight as you rested your fingers against the top. The sinking feeling in your chest making you gulp for air as you shifted your weight anxiously.

The room felt to silence as you pulled the lid open and your eyes were met with a beautiful diamond ring. It took your brain a second to catch up with what you were seeing, the panic spreading through your veins before you could register that the box had contained exactly what you dreaded. It sparkled when the light hit it as your hand shook and you felt like the universe was mocking you, laughing at how pathetic you’d become.

It was incredible how a stupid piece of jewellery could make your mood plummet. You’d let your guard down too much today with him, you’d forgotten the reality of what was going on outside of the little bubble you’d climbed inside. You’d been idiotic to think you could pretend your feelings into nothingness, foolish even for even giving that kinda thought an ounce of your time. Your fingers shook some so you squeezed your hand tighter around the black velvet, bottom lip beginning to tremble instead.

It definitely wasn’t anything to scoff at, a large teardrop shaped, crystal clear diamond in the center. It had two smaller pink gems on the sides of it, the entire band covered in rosy stones with delicate gold swirls protruding behind the teardrop shape. It screamed Camie. It was elegant and graceful and the pink tones reminded you of the color her cheeks turned when she blushed.

You felt like you could vomit, staring at the perfect stone and thinking of how much it seemed like her. She was just as perfect, just as elegant, just as graceful.

It was no wonder he loved her and not you.

The trepidation that crept up your spine made your entire body tense up, like you’d been shoved in a bath of ice water. Your nose scrunched as you tried to swallow, aware of your loud breathing, fingers snapping the lid shut before you could stare anymore. All you could picture was him slipping it onto her finger and the image made you want to run so far away. Seeing the ring in person only solidified the plans he’d told you, you just hadn’t imagined you’d be seeing it beginning to happen so fast.

The damn perfect ring represented so much more to you than just being a ring. It was everything you weren’t, everything Bakugou loved and cherished all wrapped around in gold and covered in diamonds. It was everything you’d never be and never have and everything you wanted so bad it was crushing you inside. How could you have been so naive to let yourself get here? How could you let your heart be swayed so easily by one boy to the point where he held your whole being in his palm and could toss it aside whenever he pleased? You were just a stupid girl with stupid feelings for a boy who didn’t seem to understand how he could, and was, affecting yours with every move he made towards her.

A single tear slipped down against the side of your nose, your curled up hand rubbing it away as you pushed the box back in place and slammed the drawer shut with your knee. Your hands shook as you walked over and sat idly on the small cushioned bench in front of his keyboard, fingers curling into your palms to make hard fists against your thighs. A shaky breathe fell out as you squeezed your eyes closed, now thankful for the curtain of hair shutting the room around you out.

Your head lifted up towards the ceiling, eyes opening back up as another tear slid out of the corner, spilling along your temple and skimming the shell of your ear, your hand raising to absentmindedly wipe it’s wet trail away. You felt like you weren’t in your body anymore, like your systems had all shut down and put you on low power mode. You were weak, too weak to really cry and too stubborn to address the agony in your bones that was screaming for attention.

You turned your body towards the keyboard, back to the door as you stared down at the pristine white rectangles, mind blank. The keys were untouched while the actual body of the keyboard was littered with little notes and lyrics he’d apparently not wanted to forget. He had a little piece of music you’d given him to practice awhile ago set on the music stand, his messy handwriting all over it.

You wanted to leave. You needed to leave. You felt like you were drowning but no one could see you struggling.  Like your lungs were filling with water and you couldn’t scream for help, only now the water was pain and sadness and you couldn’t scream for help because no one could know you were being killed. No one could know because he couldn’t know.

Your fingers slid over the keys before you really thought about it, barely using pressure to play a somber tune, trying to simultaneously fill the void of silence but also quiet down the sound of your heart pounding in your ears.The emotions you had bubbling just below the surface made your body slouch forwards, eyes run dry but feeling tired.

Why was it that the one you wanted was the one you couldn’t have? Why did you have to fall in love with someone like Bakugou? He had become your everything without even knowing it. He was the sun and the moon and all the stars in the universe and you were just an admirer who stared at it all from a telescope. You’d never even gotten close to capturing him but somehow in your mind you had thought you would.

The quiet melody you played blocked out the sound of Bakugou sighing as he came in the room, but the sound of the door closing caught your attention enough to make your fingers stop their movements. His body sunk onto the bench beside you, a heavy exhale coming from his lips as his hands ran over his face unceremoniously.

“I’m sorry that took so long. It was Camie, she said to tell you hello.” Bakugou spoke with a half convincing smile, his forehead leaning over and resting against your shoulder. You could tell he was put off now, but didn’t want to push it, your mind lingering to the box hidden in the desk as his body relaxed against your side.

You hated how effortlessly he could make your nerves multiply at this proximity, he was barely even touching you but he somehow seemed to have total control over your body. Half of you loved having him so close, loved feeling his lips press into your covered shoulder and hearing his breathing slow. The other half of you, however, dreaded having him like this as it only seemed to make the painful state of your heart more prevalent. You could feel his tense muscles relax against your side, his breathing slowly evening out to his normal pace.

“Teach me to play what you were playing.” He broke the few minutes of silence with his voice, nudging you with his elbow and straightening his back out. His eyes flickered over the keys before he turned his head to look at you, his hair falling further against his forehead. “I’m a good student, I promise.”

You stared at him for a moment before silently nodding, seeing the small smile tug on his lips before you let your fingers repeat the quiet tune, your free hand rested on your lap and tapping the beat into your thigh. You glanced over at him once you finished, nodding towards the piano to indicate he should try.

He nodded his own head, fingers reaching forward and starting to slip ungracefully between each note, hitting the keys a bit too hard to make the melody sound right. You let out an involuntary quiet laugh, making him pout and turn his upper half towards you as he spoke.

“Don’t laugh at me!” He grumbled like a little kid, even stomping his foot lightly to make it the full package. It was almost funny how quickly his mood had shifted from disgruntled and quiet to his usual playful, hotheaded state.

“I’m sorry.” You quipped, laughter quieting down as you shook your head at him and tried to calm your nerves, “You’re just hitting the keys too hard, it has to be more gentle, like this.”

You shifted towards the instrument again, biting down on your bottom lip as you let your fingers float through the melody. You were barely ghosting over the keys, just enough to make an audible sound. Your body moved with the notes, throat vibrating with hums as you let the sounds fill the room.

When you glanced over at him to see if he was paying attention, you noticed his eyes weren’t on the keys, or even your hands, but on your face. He hadn’t noticed you were looking at him, he was too in his head to realize he’d been caught staring. Something about the way his eyes were glued to you, with his lips parted and his breathing slow made your stomach tie into a knot.

You cleared your throat, reaching over and patting his knee with a sigh, which seemed to pull him from whatever was going on in that brain of his. You felt your mind going fuzzy as you shook your head at him.

“You’re a horrible student, you’re not even paying attention.” You scolded, narrowing your eyes at him as if you were mad. He just flashed you a sheepish smile and laughed quietly, bumping his shoulder lightly into yours as he muttered a small apology. For a moment you swore you saw a blush on creep onto his cheeks.

“I got it now.” He defended, hands once again resuming their place on the keys, moving too quickly and too aggressively through the tune, perhaps even worse than before. You rolled your eyes, adjusting your body so it was closer to his before letting your hand fall on top of his above the keys.

“Like this, Katsu..” You mumbled, fingers laying atop of each of his, his body stilling for a moment before beginning to move with your guidance. You tried not to focus on how soft his skin felt against your palm, not daring to look at his face as you swallowed thickly. “You see? Soft, it sounds better this way.”

“Yeah.” His voice was quiet, like speaking too loud would be alarming with how pressed together your bodies were. You finally let your face turn towards his again and instantly realized it was a mistake. You were way too close and at this distance you could see every single detail Bakugou Katsuki had.

His eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks as his eyes flitted across your face, his tongue poking out of his soft looking lips to wet them. You could see all the tiny details on his face, like the tiny scratch on his cheek from fighting with whoever and how his long eyelashes danced upon his cheeks. His thigh was pressing into yours and your hands were still overlapped though his was no longer moving, which stilled yours. Your nerves that had felt so fried the past few days were suddenly running on overdrive and your brain wasn’t moving well enough to process what was going on.

He let out a shaky breath as his eyes focused in on yours and held them in place, his free hand lifting up and pushing your hair back behind your ear as he spoke.

“Thank you.” His voice was soft, but sounded loud in the silent space around you, his calloused fingers lingering there by your cheek and not moving away. His fingertips dragged across your cheekbone, thumb grazing the corner of your lip just barely but the touch felt too intimate. Your heart was pounding so hard you could feel the blood pumping through your veins, making your fingertips feel like there were drums banging in them.

You couldn’t move, glued to the spot as his hand under yours turned, your palms flush as he slotted his fingers through yours, his other hand slipping away from your face, leaving what felt like burns behind. His eyes moved away from yours and instead to behind you, towards his desk. You were close enough to kiss him, just a tilt of your head and your lips could be on his. Your ribs felt bruised from how hard your heart was thumping into them.  

Your eyes flickered over his face as his eyes remained glued to his desk and you silently wondered what he had said thank you for. Was it for, badly, trying to teach him to play the song, or something else? What had you done that was worthy of a thank you, and why was he holding your hand so tightly the longer he stared across the room? Why did he have to be so beautiful with the light flooding through the window casting a glow over his features? Why did it have to hurt so much to love him?

He swallowed hard, his thumb brushing across the face of your hand as his eyes finally moved to yours, a quiet sigh reaching your ears. He looked serious, his eyes definitive as he stared at you.

“Have you…have you ever thought ab-”

“Babe? Are you guys here?”

Camie’s voice cut off whatever Bakugou was going to say, his hand slipping from yours and his body springing away as if you’d scorched him. He was immediately standing up, eyes darting around the room, looking anywhere but at you as the door to the room opened, Camie’s smiling face meeting the both of yours. You felt an odd sense of nerves course through you for a moment, like you’d almost been caught doing something secret and immoral.

“What are you doing here?” Bakugou asked, his hand raising to scratch the back of his neck. He cleared his throat to try and clear out the waver in his voice, his body moving him a step closer to her.

“I got done with my class early and thought I would bring you guys some dinner.” Camie smiled brightly, giving you a polite wave hello before moving over to wrap her arms around her boyfriend. Bakugou glanced over at you once quickly before he wrapped his arms around her small middle, lifting her off the ground slightly when he stood up with her in his grasp. Her playful gasp and loud squeal had his laughter floating out so easily.

Watching him shift all his focus to her felt crushing, like the moment she showed up you no longer existed. Every step he took towards Camie was a million more away from you. To think for a second there you’d been imaging he was going to kiss you. Were you really that delusional?

The way they so simply made each other happy made you wanna scream. Camie was busy chatting away about her class to Bakugou, his head nodding though judging by the look in his eyes you could tell he wasn’t listening. His eyes were following her lips as they moved, his hands grasping her hips so she didn’t drift too far from him, but his brain wasn’t digesting the words.

You’d been living in a fantasy for a moment and Camie walking in brought you back to reality. You couldn’t keep letting yourself do this, you couldn’t give into how badly you wanted to be with him because this was what always followed. It wasn’t just self sacrificing, it was self destructive.

You tore your eyes away from the pair of them as you slid your phone from your pocket, throat constricted as you quickly texted Todoroki.

To; Todoroki [ 16:47 ]:

Change of plans, would you be able to come get me from Bakugou’s please? I don’t want to walk home, it’s too cold out.

“Did you wanna stay and eat with us?’ Bakugou’s voice met your ears as he spoke to Camie, your eyes on their feet as they shuffled closer to each other. You silently wondered if they’d forgotten you were in a room, Camie had barely even acknowledged your presence the entire time she’d been here. Your phone buzzed with a response, making you glance at it.

Todoroki [ 16:48 ]:

On my way, I’ll be there in a few minutes.

Camie’s giggling made you gaze up again, her trademark blush spread across her cheeks as Bakugou lightly let his fingers tickle her sides, his smile a tad more relaxed than it had been a minute or two ago. You rose to your feet, which made Bakugou look in your direction once quickly, his grip on Camie loosening enough for her to turn her body towards yours.

“I should probably get going, actually.” You said with a forced smile, desperately wanting to get out of the room you were trapped in with the happy pair. Because the truth was you weren’t fine, you weren’t sure you’d ever be fine. You were a wreck and you were forcing things to seem okay because you were too scared to face what may happen if you admitted they weren’t.

Remembering that engagement ring was hidden in the desk beside you made your blood run cold. Your fingernails dug half moons into your palms, bottom lip trembling as the tears threatened to spill while you desperately tried to force them down, starting to move out of the room. How were you supposed to do this? How did anyone do this? Those romantic movies were such shit, no one would want to fall in love if they knew this was how it was going to feel.  

You hadn’t known, and look where that got you.

“You don’t have to go.” Bakugou’s voice clicked in your mind as you exited the room, his footsteps trailing behind you as you made your way back towards the living room. The pictures of them on the walls now felt like they were there to mock you, to remind you that you weren’t wanted.

“We’d love to have you eat with us.” Camie insisted, appearing by Bakugou’s side as she slid her hand slowly into his, her sweet face twisted into a small frown as you slid your shoes back onto your feet. You hated how she answered for the both of them. Then again, Bakugou had invited her to join you both on behalf of the two of you. Maybe he just didn’t care if you wanted her there or not.

“It’s alright, you guys should have some alone time. Todoroki’s on his way already anyway.” You insisted, tugging on your jacket and noticing how Bakugou’s grip on her hand relaxed. Hers only tightened however, her body shuffling about as close to his as she could get without actually being against him. It made your body burn seeing how perfect they looked together, a vision of beauty and pain to your heart.

The room was mute for a moment as you got your jacket situated and buttoned up properly, fingers weaving through your hair and pushing it back off your face while Bakugou just stared. He pursed his lips slightly and then folded them in on themselves, making his mouth a straight, hard line. He looked dejected which you couldn’t quite understand. He had Camie here, he invited her to stay. Why would he be frustrated you were leaving? You knew he wanted you to like her but surely he didn’t expect you to be their constant third wheel.

Camie seemed to notice his quiet state and leaned up, kissing his cheek and frowning in concern as her free hand lifted up and cupped his chin, moving his face towards hers as she quietly asked if he was okay. The worry was clear on her features, her eyebrows furrowed as her thumb drew gentle circles on the curve of his cheek, his head barely nodding in response. You were beyond grateful to hear the knock on the door, turning your body and tugging it open without hesitation.

Todoroki stood with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, a dark colored sweater on his top half making him look soft. He had been looking at his shoes, his head lifting up when you answered and a smile spreading on his famous lips.

“Hey.” He spoke, stepping forward to pull your body into his hard chest, arms holding you tight for a small hug, your eyelids fluttering shut and savoring the warmth of his sweater covered chest against your cheek. “You ready to go?”

You nodded and pulled away from him, turning to bid the couple a goodbye, Bakugou staring at you with that unreadable look on his face again. His eyes were on your back, then on Todoroki, his jaw clenched uncomfortably and his free hand balled up into a loose fist. You moved your body forward to his, his demeanor relaxing as he slid his arms around you.

His hug felt different than Todoroki’s, his was hard and made your body crush into his, his palms encasing your back like a shield and his breath fanning across your cheek as he leaned his head down. You were surprised when his lips puckered against your cheek considering Camie was beside him, but she didn’t seem to have much of a reaction other than an uncomfortable clearing of her throat.

“I’ll see you later, Katsu, thank you for lunch.” You said quietly, pulling from his tight grip and rubbing your hands along your forearms anxiously. He simply nodded but said nothing back as you turned away from him. You followed Todoroki out the door, taking a deep breath of the crisp air outside once the door clicked shut behind you. Your muscles were achy and sore as you moved towards the car, body exhausted from the few hours there with Bakugou.

You felt like you’d gone through every emotion, from happy to sad to confused and back again. Your ability to keep it together was becoming paper thin, your mind foggy and begging to just be silent for a few hours. The tiny rope holding you together was being plucked apart string by string and was ready to snap.

The only question was when.

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The taste of the expensive alcohol on your tongue was doing little to dull your senses in the crowded expensive restaurant. The private back room you occupied was lavish, with high ceilings and a dazzling chandelier that sparkled in the dim lighting. The air felt hot and the music was so inaudible it might as well have been turned off.

Your dress was too stuffy, your thighs sticking to the faux leather seat beneath you as you shifted and tugged the too thick material. You were uncomfortable here. Uncomfortable under the gleam of all the expensive things.

Uncomfortable in the stupid dress that made you feel like you were being choked. But most of all, uncomfortable being sat at the end of the table where you had a perfect view of Bakugou and Camie, side by side and feeding each other bites of their dinners.

You didn’t know how you’d been forced to come to Camie’s birthday dinner, Bakugou had insisted she wanted you to come and since most of the boys were coming you’d given in. You were sat between Kaminari and Kirishima. Midoriya, Sero, and Todoroki were across from you at the large wooden table. You hated being here. You hated being subjected to watching the happy couple kiss and hug all night long like some form of specific torture catered towards your secrets and insecurities.

It all felt too much, them so in love, the sound of her friends loud laughter and chatting, the way Kaminari kept catching you staring at Bakugou, the tight anxious feeling in your chest every time Bakugou took a second to glance your way, all of it. Your nerves were at max capacity, body nearly buzzing from the emotions bottled up inside you and all you wanted to do was go home.

You sighed quietly, taking another sip of your drink as you glanced over at Kirishima, who had let out a bored grumble, making you crack a tiny smile. The youngest boy looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there, his arms folded lazily over his broad chest and the corners of his lips just barely turned downwards as he spoke.

“I don’t like her.”

You nearly choked on the sip of your drink you’d just swallowed, Kaminari’s large hand clapping at your back to make sure you could breathe while Midoriya’s eyebrows narrowed across the table at Kirishima.

“That’s not polite, Kirishima.” He scolded, taking a small bite of the food in front of him. Kirishima scoffed quietly as he sat up properly and picked up his own drink, speaking as he lifted it up to his lips.

“Don’t you think this is all a bit much for a birthday party?”

You bit down on your bottom lip as you set your glass down, eyes skimming over the other boys as they remained tight lipped, though Kaminari was bouncing his leg beside yours. Your last birthday you’d spent watching movies and eating pizza with Sero, Kirishima and Tokoyami while Todoroki baked you a cake and Bakugou insisted he did all the decorating. You’d just assumed this was going to be a small dinner, not this lavish affair it seemed to have become, her friends all in expensive looking outfits and the prices on the menu you’d seen astronomical. You could understand Kirishima’s distaste for location choice, it wouldn’t have been your first choice either.

“She’s been all over him all night like she’s trying to show him off.” Kirishima added and set his glass down after taking a swig, his hand overlapping as he folded them neatly in front of his body at the table. “So I don’t like her, period. I don’t really care if that’s rude.”

You took a glance down towards the other end of the table as Midoriya started lecturing Kirishima, muting out their conversation and letting your eyes wander over Bakugou as he took a bite of his food. Camie was chatting away with her friends beside him, his tongue poking out to lick his lips off as his eyes glanced over at her.  His arm moved slightly from its grip around the back of her chair, instead wrapping around her shoulders. A smile tugged on her lips that made jealousy rage in the pit of your stomach from the simple gesture. It killed you to know you’d never have that with him, as much as you were trying to pretend it wasn’t hurting you.

You were scared of what would happen when you let the floodgates open. How were you ever going to move on if you let yourself feel just how deeply those emotions for Bakugou ran? You had been rooted to the same spot for so long hoping that maybe, just maybe, the impossible would happen, but deep in the back of your mind you knew that time was never going to come. That was becoming more obvious with each passing day.

When Bakugou’s eyes flickered towards your end of the table, he paused for a moment, gaze catching yours and you held it, swallowing down the lump that threatened to grow in your throat. He stared at you hard, his expression not changing and his eyes too hard to read from so far away, though you doubted there was any meaning behind them. He’d been distant the past few days, like you’d hurt him and he was pulling away and while it stung, part of you had been thankful for the time to try and put yourself together.

But you missed him, gosh did you miss him. You missed him every second you weren’t with him, even when being with him was murdering your mental state. It was like he was a drug and you were an addict waiting for their next fix. Only with Bakugou, coming down from the high felt more like plummeting off a cliff and landing right on your back, all the air being thrown out of your body along with any signs of happiness.

When Camie turned towards him and spoke something into his ear, his eyes moved away, a smile on his lips as he responded to whatever they were talking about. You pulled your own eyes away, feeling a pair burning into your face and looking over at the source. Todoroki, who you’d caught sending you looks all night. He’d been like your saviour all week, letting you stay at his place when yours felt too lonely, never asking any questions or pushing you to tell him why you weren’t acting like yourself. You knew he had noticed, if anyone was perceptive it was Todoroki, he never missed a thing.

Kaminari cleared his throat beside you, fingertip poking your cheek and gaining your attention as he smiled sweetly in your direction, nodding towards your plate of untouched food as he spoke.

“Are you okay? You’ve barely eaten.” His head tilted to the side, a small frown spreading on his pouty lips and his shoulders slumping, as if your lack of consumption completely deflated his mood.

“I’m alright, just not very hungry. Don’t worry, Kami.” You smiled faintly at him, patting his hand lightly and kissing his cheek, his head bobbing up and down as if he understood. Of course you weren’t hungry. How could you be hungry when you kept watching him kiss her? It made you want to expel everything in your body every time you saw it.

You sighed quietly and pushed your chair out, excusing yourself as Camie’s friends all quieted down to hear the story she was telling them. Bakugou’s fingers were drawing lazy shapes on her bare shoulder blade, your eyes tearing away as you made a silent b-line for the restroom, desperate for a second alone.

The minute the bathroom door closed behind you, you sighed heavily, leaning your back into the hard black door and closing your eyes. You were on the edge of a mental breakdown, your brain on overdrive to even keep you functioning. You were holding too much in. You didn’t want to hurt anyone else’s heart in the process of hurting your own, but could barely handle the feelings consuming you alive.

Your body moved over to the large mirrors above the sink, eyes wandering over the black lace dress that landed mid thigh. You always thought made you look good. Now you thought it made you look depressed, the fabric climbing halfway up your neck and covering the entirety of your arms, it hugging your hollow figure too tight to hide any imperfections you thought you had. It was a stark contrast to the lilac strapless number Camie had gone with. It only amplified how different you both were, neither bad, but one clearly superior in the eyes of Bakugou.

It was a terrible feeling to watch yourself be replaced. Of course you were never the one who filled Bakugou’s heart, but Camie was slowly taking your place in every other way. She was whose pictures covered his walls and whose presents littered his shelves. She was who he sang songs to late at night over the phone and she was the one who kept his attention when she was in the room. You were becoming more obsolete every second she became more relevant.

After a quick splash of water and a few deep breathes, you adjusted your body to stand up straight, hair pulled half back up off your face for once. You slowly pushed the heavy bathroom door open, giving yourself a mental pep talk as you exited the hallway towards the backroom, aware of the eery silence that filled your ears. Why did it make your skin crawl to hear so little chatter?

You scrunched your face up just as you entered the room, confused as to why Bakugou and Camie were standing and no one was speaking, Bakugou’s back to you and Camie’s eyes flickering to yours for a second, before focusing back on him. That was when his body sunk down to the floor and onto one knee, your body halting all movement.

This wasn’t happening.

This couldn’t be happening.

But it was.

Right before your very eyes were you watching Bakugou Katsuki crush the very last piece of you.

Gasps filled the air along with excited squeals as he looked up at her, Camie’s delicate hand lifting up to her mouth and covering it in shock, her own eyes filling with tears just as yours were, only hers were of happiness and yours most definitely were not. You saw his reflection in the mirror on the wall, his hands holding open the same velvet box you’d found a few days before, the ring sparkling under the faint light. The world felt like it stopped spinning, your lungs stopping all functions as his eyes met yours in the reflection for just a second, his firm expressing softening for just a second before his eyes tore away from yours, the words flying past his lips without a second thought.

“Camie, will you marry me?”

Hearing the words out loud was the final snip to the string holding you together. Everything began to crumble apart inside you, your cool exterior melting away. Her friends had all burst into cooing and clapping at her exclaimed yes, your body the only one unmoving while the girls all rushed over to see her ring. Your feet started carrying you backwards, your eyes burning and blurry as you saw his body turn towards yours for just a glance. Camie gripped at his arm and pulled him tight to her side as her friends all congratulated them, everyone fawning over them.

Kaminari was staring at Bakugou, then at you, then back at Bakugou, Kirishima complacently beside him looking unimpressed. Todoroki was already moving towards you, pushing past the crowd around them to get to you as you backed up out of the room, whipping around to leave. Your body pushed forward, bumping into a waiter and spilling a drink on yourself but you didn’t stop, rushing out the front doors uncaring about the scene you were causing.

You burst out the front and felt your resolve crumble completely, your body collapsing forward as you stumbled out and a choked sob ripped from your throat. You couldn’t hide it anymore, you didn’t care if it was selfish, you couldn’t pretend you were okay. You weren’t okay, you were so damn far from okay.

The air was filled with the sounds of your loud crying, your entire body shaking as you looked around for somewhere to go, some sign of what to do, struggling to breathe. All you could see in your head was Bakugou down on his knee in front of her and his voice repeating over and over.

He was everywhere, you couldn’t escape him. He was in your head making it hazy and in your eyes making them burn and boil over. He was in your lungs squeezing your airway til it was crushed and nothing could pass through. He was in your very nerves making sure you felt each and every touch he’d ever given you then ripped away. He was in your heart tearing out every last string holding it together until you snapped. You couldn’t do it anymore, it hurt too much.

You struggled to stay standing, seeing spots of black as you tried to stretch straighter. The door behind you opened but you were too weak to turn away. A pair of firm arms enveloped you and that only seemed to make your next wave of tears so much stronger. They were spilling down your cheeks and wetting your flushed skin, the cool wind blowing making your cheeks feel frozen.

You gripped at the strong body’s shirt and bawled into the chest, nostrils flared and mouth wide as you tried to get in oxygen. Your eyes screwed tightly shut as you blocked out the sound of the world around you. You recognized the feel of the hand stroking your hair and dug your nails into his back.

“I love him, Todoroki.” You sobbed, the words coming out choppy, trembling lips having difficulty forming the syllables. “I love him so fucking much.”

“I know.” Todoroki whispered, his grip around you growing more firm as he lifted you off your legs when they went to give out. You’d tried so hard, so so hard to ignore your feelings and you just couldn’t anymore.

You were never going to be his first choice. You were never going to get to hold him and kiss him and tell him how much you loved him. You were never going to be his entire world like he had been yours. Camie was, perfect Camie who had everything you didn’t, and now she had him too.

“Why doesn’t he love me? Why does he love her and not me?” You croaked, arms constricting around his shoulders as his hands gripped below your thighs to keep you steady. “Why am I not enough?”

Todoroki didn’t say anything, his thumbs pressing soft circles into your skin as he kissed his heart shaped lips into your forehead. You bit down hard on your bottom lip to try and hold back the screams you wanted to let out. You tasted metal and released it, using a hand to wipe the tears and snot off your face to no avail. Your eyes wouldn’t quit flowing, like a busted pipe that had been blocked up for years and finally sprung free.

Everything was falling from your lips too fast for you to comprehend, every coherent thought spilling out in cries too loud for such a public space but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, this had been a long time coming.

“I tried so hard to be happy for him. I tried so hard.  Nothing I do is making it any easier, it hurts to look at him. I hurts to think about him, I just want it all to stop. “ You faintly felt one of his hands leave your thigh, the other hand sliding across your backside to stop you from falling to the ground. You heard keys and lifted your head slightly to see he was carrying you to his car parked near by, your voice muffling when you laid your head down against his chest. “I can’t do it anymore.”

His hands slid off your body as he leaned you into the door on your own two feet, a hand on your hip to make sure you wouldn’t fall, before turning toward the door to unlock it. Your crying was subsiding but the ache in your chest was only growing. The tears started coming back however when you heard the door of the restaurant open and footsteps rushing your way.

Bakugou was jogging towards the pair of you, Kaminari hot on his trail and you felt your whole body start to seize again, the tears returning tenfold as you covered your face with your hands, turning into Todoroki as he moved to cover you from Bakugou’s worried figure.

“I’m taking her home, she doesn’t feel well so just go back inside, okay? Go celebrate.” You could make out Todoroki’s words despite the way you were hiccuping as you tried to choke back your crying. Even when you were having a breakdown you didn’t want Bakugou to know, you didn’t want to ruin his night. You wanted to smack yourself for caring so much.

“Shut up, Todoroki.” Bakugou snapped, trying to get around Todoroki who was unmoving. Bakugou’s hand reached out to touch your arm, but you flinched away, turning your back to him and facing the car as your knees shook, hand clamping over your mouth to keep your crying silent. “Please look at me, please? Please talk to me, stop shutting me out. Please?”

The concerned begging made it worse, he was the reason you were like this. Had he just proposed tonight to make sure your heart was broken as possible? Did he love to be the one to make you miserable? Did he make sure you were there to see it so you wouldn’t keep thinking maybe he could love you too?

“Fucking go inside Bakugou, you’re making it worse.” Todoroki snapped and his figure tensed behind you. Your back shook with each gasp for air you took, vaguely seeing Kaminari touch Bakugou’s shoulder in the rear-view mirror.

“Katsu, cmon. She doesn’t want to talk to you right now.” Kaminari’s unusually soft voice met your ears, the only one who seemed to be calm in the entire situation, though when his eyes met your reflection in the mirror, his face screamed concern. Whether it was for you or the distraught Bakugou you weren’t sure.

“Will you both fucking shut up and let her speak for herself!” Bakugou snapped, the sound of his feet moving making you clam up, his figure coming around Todoroki who was still trying to block Bakugou from seeing you. The moment Bakugou’s face met yours from over Todoroki’s shoulder, his entire face fell, your own twisting in anguish as you started crying harder again, looking away from him.

“Why..” He started quietly, his hands lifting as if to reach out for you but Todoroki smacked them down, yanking open the car door so you could get inside, effectively creating a barrier between the two of you.

“Because you’re an idiot, Bakugou.” Todoroki sighed, shutting the door once you were inside and instantaneously muffling the voices outside the door. You chest was trembling with every inhale you took, hands shaking as you dug your nails into your thighs and squeezed your eyes shut. Everything you had was broken, everything felt ruined and tarnished and sick.

You didn’t feel like you anymore and you didn’t think you’d ever feel right again, not now. Not now that you saw him choose her right before your very eyes. Right after he looked at you did he shatter everything you’d been so desperately hoping for. Your heart you had so willingly given him he tossed to the ground and smashed under his expensive shoes, then crushed the pieces to dust so they could never be put back together. He did it all with five short, little words.

You couldn’t love someone who wouldn’t ever love you, not anymore.

When you dared to glance out the window you could see Todoroki coming towards the driver’s side door, Kaminari trying to tug Bakugou toward the restaurant. Bakugou’s eyes were glued onto your tinted window, not listening to a thing the taller boy said, a pained expression on his face that paled in comparison to the agony in your chest.

Camie’s head came out from the doors, concern painted on her features as she slipped between Kaminari and Bakugou, her arms sliding around her fiance and hugging him. Her ring glittering in the nighttime lighting made you tear your eyes away, the car moving finally and taking you away from there. You shivered but you weren’t sure if it was from the temperature or from your heart rate.

You felt empty, even as the tears fell silently down your cheeks and slid onto the dress that bunched around your thighs. Your heart was gone and your lungs were empty and your brain was consumed with all the things Bakugou had ever done that made you hurt the most. You heard his voice telling you she was the one. You felt his fingers rubbing into your palm as he held your hand and his lips pressing into your cheek. You saw him kissing her and holding her and getting down on one knee. You felt everything he’d ever done that made your heart ache, and all you could do was sit there and take it.

Bakugou wasn’t yours anymore.

He never was in the first place.

And you were an idiot for ever thinking he could be.

Todoroki’s hand wrapped around your knee, rubbing the ice cold skin as you chewed on the inside of your cheek, willing yourself to just breathe. You took slow, deep inhales through your flared nostrils, body twitching from the erratic cries your body was still producing.

“It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.” Todoroki’s gentle tone fell on your deaf ears, your nails digging into your thighs so hard they left angry red scratches in their wake. It felt like the earth was opening up and swallowing you whole. You swallowed hard, eyelids falling shut as you tipped your head to the side so it rested against the cool window.

You lifted your legs up, his hand slipping away as they bent in front of you on the leather seat, your arms wrapping around them. You had goosebumps risen along your calves, your body slouching into the door. You could see your face in the rear view mirror when you opened you eyes, your complexion gaunt and eyelids rimmed in smeared black.  Little grey streaks were spread across your face from the wind blown tears mixing with your watered down mascara, your lip swollen from biting down so hard. You looked like you had finally given up, like nothing in the world could take away the pain in your heart.

“I don’t think I am, Sho.” You whispered, voice cracking as you let your eyes slip back shut “Not this time.”

[joonie-beanie]

Meet my OM! MC - Bean

Yes, she’s a self-insert MC. But that’s why I’m playing the game so lemme live aljkdaksdl;

Also! Check out this commission of Bean by @/frujiko !

Name: Bean (June is her real name, but they refer to her as Bean most of the time)

Height: 5′8 (173cm)

Age: 23

Sexuality: Bi

Likes:

Sweet foods

Peace and quiet (w/optional soft music playing)

Food that involves noodles

Steak (medium-rare)

Easy-to-play video games (Mario Kart, Smash Bros, etc)

Reading/writing smut

Thunderstorms

Open communication

Dislikes:

Anyone who says that cats are demons

Hot weather

Nail polish (on herself)

Chihuahuas (w/Luke as an exception)

Confrontation

Sudden, loud noises

People who lack patience

Ocular headaches (she only wears glasses when she has one)

Relationships with the Demon Brothers:

Lucifer:

Thinks he’s the most beautiful man in existence.

Is immediately attracted to him at first glance.

However, she’s also intimated by him, so she never goes out of her way to make a statement of her affections.

Lucifer embodies pride, which is the sin Bean lacks most (especially with regards to self-image)--hence why she’s intimidated of him at times. Despite him being kind to her, she feels like he’s in a different league.

Therefore, Bean does her best to treat him normally--trying to be someone he can rely on, and be proud of. (She really loves making him proud).

Lucifer, of course, is aware of the little wall she puts up when around him. Like there are thoughts on her mind that she doesn’t want him to know.

He respects her distance, at first, but eventually attempts to figure out what it is that’s causing her to treat him more distantly than his brothers (yes, it bothers him).

Aside from Bean’s complicated feelings for him, she’s always reminding Lucifer to take care of himself, and asking if she can do anything to help out. 

Since she loves to relax, she hates seeing Lucifer so busy all the time, so if anything, she’ll bring him a meal, or come and ask if he wants someone to make conversation with while he works. (He appreciates her greatly for these little acts of kindness).

Also, once Lucifer finally makes her walls crumble and elicits her true feelings, their relationship becomes more physical (sharing skinship like with his brothers, etc). And she is ESPECIALLY flustered by any show of affection from him.

He tends to use her real name 90% of the time, which she doesn’t have a problem with. (It makes their relationship feel just a little bit more special).

Mammon:

Bean thinks his stupid tsundere ass is cute and annoying all at the same time.

She’ll bully him a little bit, but will always follow up with affection, because she doesn’t want him to take her little jabs to heart.

Since Bean loves the casino, they end up being gambling buddies.

Unlike Mammon, however, Bean knows when to stop. Lucifer only allows Mammon to go to the casino with her 1. Because it’s the Devildom and he doesn’t want Bean going alone, and 2. Bean had promised him that she would make sure Mammon stops gambling once he reaches the end of his prepared budget.

Mammon feels comfortable talking to Bean when he’s not feeling the greatest. Or, rather, there’s no talking, but just him holding onto her tightly, or laying in her lap while she pets his hair.

Bean enjoys all forms of skinship, so she’s more than happy to give him cuddles, hugs, etc. The only time she gets annoyed is when Mammon interrupts her while she’s busy, or gets too clingy.

Overall, the two get along fairly well.

Levi:

Bean loves Levi.

She relates to him in a lot of ways--including being an introvert, and enjoying anime and video games. So, she tries to befriend him.

After the whole TSL incident--once things get worked out--Levi finally allows her into his life, and they become close quite fast.

While she doesn’t understand half the shit he’s talking about sometimes, she listens to him and supports his interests nonetheless.

At least once a week, Levi demands that she come over for a game night. Once his brothers pick up on the trend, they start showing up as well (which peeves Levi sometimes because he just wants to spend time with Bean).

Don’t tell him, but every so often, Bean will message the brothers who tend to show up (Beel, Belphie, Mammon), and ask them to not come to game night since “Levi is having me help with a dungeon run and wants peace and quiet”.

....he has never said that to her, but she knows he wants to have some alone time, and so does she, so Bean doesn’t feel bad making up a little white lie.

Also, she absolutely loves giving him affection. She honestly can’t explain her need to kiss him on the cheek, or hug him for a solid 10 seconds, but it happens fairly often once their relationship gets better.

Maybe it’s the way he blushes, and slowly begins returning all of her shows of affection? Yeah, that might be it.

Satan:

Their relationship revolves around literature, love of cats, and late night discussions.

Bean and Satan see each other as someone they can have a solid, intellectual conversation with, so sometimes they’ll show up at each others doors with a bottle of wine, and a topic in mind, and will rally the conversation back and forth until they’re too tired, or tipsy, to keep going.

Bean misses her cats back up in the human world, so Satan makes a point of taking her to cat cafes, or sending her stupid cat videos on Deviltube whenever he finds one.

Bean isn’t into classic literature like Satan, but once the demon finds out she enjoys writing, he becomes entirely too curious as to what, and eventually (after Satan wears on her enough), she admits that she writes smut.

Satan becomes her unintentional beta-reader, once she shares a piece with him, and he actually gives her very constructive feedback.

He promises to keep her dirty secret (hah) from his brothers, if she sends him what she considers to be her best stories so far (because he honestly does enjoy her writing).

At the end of the day, the two have a comfortable, friendly relationship, and really value each other. Simple forms of skinship between the two come as natural as breathing air.

Asmo:

Asmo is absolutely the self-care force in Bean’s life that she both needs and fears.

Despite his self-centered nature, he’ll be damned if he allows Bean to leave the Devildom feeling anything but confident in herself.

And so, in spite of the fact that in the beginning, Bean wants to run away from Asmo, eventually he manages to become someone that she feels she can confide in. Especially when it comes to her body-image issues.

She feels like such a burden when she’s having a bad day, but Asmo is more than happy to be there for her--whether she asks or not--and she really appreciates him for that.

She’s also more than happy to be Asmo’s doll to dress up, put make-up on, etc. and he loves her for that. Of course, he loves to do those things to himself, but it’s so much fun to have a willing subject.

The two also have a habit of giving gifts to each other. Bean gives Asmo a gift to thank him for his kindness towards her, and then suddenly they’re in a constant back and forth of never ending gift giving. (It’s honestly really sweet).

And when it comes to skinship, Asmo is very open--giving hugs, kisses, etc. And whenever Bean initiates skinship with him of her own accord, he honestly melts a little.

Beel:

BIG TEDDY BEAR. Oh, and food buddy.

Bean wants to cuddle with Beel literally whenever possible. She loves walking up and being able to hug him with her face pressed between his tiddies. Because she’s tall herself, knowing a big boy like Beel excites her so much.

And of course, Beel loves all of her hugs, and shows of affection. He accepts them all with a smile, and is more than happy to reciprocate.

One time, Beel picks Bean up during a hug, and she gasps. Beel immediately worries if he had hurt her, but she just says she’s not used to anyone being able to lift her up, and Beel then makes a point of lifting her   into hugs. He also gives her piggy back rides when appropriate, and her heart is so full for him. 

They also end up going out to eat together quite a lot. Beel wants to introduce her to all of his fave Devildom foods, and Bean happily goes along with him.

If there’s ever a day where Bean’s self-image isn’t the best, Beel will make sure she doesn’t skip any meals. And if she expresses the want to change her diet, or start an easy exercise routine, he’ll be more than happy to help her out.

The two tend to go on evening walks together--since it’s exercise done in good company--and Bean appreciates him a lot.

Overall, the two are very affectionate and casual in their relationship with one another.

Belphie:

Low energy pals.

Literally will lay in bed next to each other on their DDD’s, sharing memes, and talking about random shit.

Bean quickly becomes Belphie’s new favorite pillow once the whole stuck-in-the-attic chapter is done with, and their relationship improves.

She’s a little shy about it, but Belphie honestly loves her squish. Perfect for napping.

If Belphie finds Beel and Bean cuddling, or hugging, he will absolutely add himself into the equation with zero hesitation. 

Bean is someone that he can talk to without feeling judged, or like she’ll rat out his negative feelings to his brothers. 

He really appreciates her willingness to accept him despite how he’d manipulated her, and hurt her in the past. In turn, Bean hopes that she can continue to be a light in Belphie’s life, and that she can help him continue to grow and change (despite him being thousands of years older than her).

The two tend to hang out in the planetarium together frequently.

Also, Bean will wake up to random messages/memes from Belphie that he sent at an ungodly hour while the rest of them were busy sleeping (and she loves it).

If anyone has any questions about Bean, her relationships with the brothers, or other characters, how she would react in certain situations, etc -- please feel free to send me an ask about it!! 👉👈

SFW or NSFW topics are okay!

[kibybun]

Hi. Can I ask you to write about Aizawa or Hawks and their darling, who constantly joked about death and eventually she committed suicide, please? I love your writing💞 You are so awesome and talented and cool. Thank you so much for your work💕

Oh my gosh, thank you so much! I hope you like it!💞💞

Platonic Yandere Hawks x suicide joking reader

Tw: Yandere, suicide, self harm, angst

Enjoy!

💛Hawks first met you at the sports festival, showing off your quirk and demonstrating power. You caught his attention rather quickly.

💛Not only were you adorable but intriguing as well. You wore long sleeves, even though you looked uncomfortable in them, and you seemed oddly quiet compared to everyone else, shying away when they come up to talk to you.

💛Another thing that stood out to him was when you were doing the calvary battle. No one came to ask you to join their team, but you didn't go out and ask to join either. You just stood there until a purple hair guy came up to you, most likely getting you to join his group.

💛Though, you seemed to change. Your fighting style and the way you use your quirk changed.

💛It bothered Hawks the whole calvary battle but he was put at ease when some kid with a tail backed out due to the other guy brainwashing him.

💛You end up backing out too, much to Hawk's dismay.

💛Even though you weren't fighting anymore he still keeps his attention on you, not seeing your other classmates or students.

💛He watched you zone out and silently cheer for your classmates, finding it adorable as you watch in awe at some of the battles.

💛The sports festival ends and he follows you home, only to make surd your okay. Once he got home he quickly put in a request for you to come intern with him before going to bed.

💛When you went back to school you were excited to see if anyone wanted you to intern with them, knowing you wouldn't get as many requests like Todoroki or Deku.

💛... two. Only two requests.

💛It hurt to look at the board and see that you one of the most unwanted students in class 1-A. You thought you did really well and maybe impressed more than two people.

💛You get your list of hero agencies and sink deeper into your self pitty when you realize that one of the agencies werebt even specifically asking for you. All the students got requested by them.

💛That leaves Hawk's agency.

💛You didn't know much about him and his work so this was going to be awkward.

💛When the day came to board the subway and head off to your internship, no one wished you goodbye. All the groups and clicks were together, walking each other to their respective trains while you again, stood alone. You ere used to it though.

💛You board the train and zone out, nearly missing your stop.

💛Right as you get off the train your vision is filled with red feathers. Low and behold the pro hero who requested you.

💛His charisma hits you as you instantly feel welcome. He makes witty remarks about the train being too slow as he begins walking with you in tow.

💛Along the way you ask him why he wanted you to intern with him. He smirks and responds with a "Why wouldn't I?" That didn't answer your question.

💛He walks you to his agency and introduces you to all his other interns. After that he shoves you towards the bathroom, telling you to change into your hero costume.

💛He sure didn't waste time as the two of you begin patrolling the city. It seemed very rushed and eager but you prefered it over having to sit in class and do quizzes.

💛During patrol Hawks starts questioning you about school and life almkst like an uncle or brother would. It was very odd to you, considering you never get asked questions about yourself.

💛You felt so pitiful not being able to tell him your birthday, you had forgotten it, but somehow he was so understanding and kind about it.

💛It wasn't long before all of his fans flocked to the two of you, shouting questions and begging for autographs. You didn't like how all the people were surrounding you and Hawks could tell.

💛He uses his wing to shield you and hastily shoos the crowd off. After that he asks if you're okay and checks to make sure you didn't get hurt.

💛His intentions weren't to sleep with you, no. They were pure. He almost saw himself in you, alone and blocked off from the world. He just wanted to protect you and make sure you knew you weren't alone.

💛It was working too.

💛In the short week you were with him you had laughed the hardest you had in awhile and smiled more. You even considered him your bestfriend.

💛The one downside of your friendship was he couldn't see your cries for help.

💛While one roofs or flying with him you'd make jokes about how easy it would be to fall and die or how fun it'd feel to free fall.

💛He'd only laugh these off, thinking it was some kind of dark humor, because if something was wrong he'd trust you to tell him.

💛When the internship was over you had to hold back tears as he hugged you goodbye. Of course he gave you his number to keep in touch but it wouldn't be the same as sneaking away from work and eating fried chicken.

💛The second the train left you felt how alone you were. You didnt want to text him right away because that would feel too needy. Should you even text him? Was he doing it just to be nice or did he actually care?

💛You leave those thoughts behind as your phone buzzes. It was a text from Hawks. "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

💛Your mood brightens as the two of you continue sending dumb chicken jokes, memes, and puns, with the occasional "dark humored" joke from you.

💛You make it home and your texting slowed, mainly due to Hawks having to work. You didn't know he was actually flying outside your house, making sure you were okay before flying off to buy you a dumb looking teddy bear.

💛Slowly, your mood begins to brighten with the constant reassurance of Hawks being there. He knew the right things to say at all times. Self conscious about your outfit? Incomes a barrage of compliments and confidence boosters. Nervous about a test or presentation? Boom, paragraphs about how amazing you are and how you can do it.

💛It almost made the emptiness inside go away.

💛Problems don't just go away, and it really shows.

💛Whenever you couldn't text or call Hawks your loniness sinks in. You had no other friends besides him. Your parents weren't the beat either with their comments about what you're doing or what you're wearing.

💛It only reminded you of all the reasons for the scars on your arms.

💛But before you could act on those reasons he was there. It was always magicly when you were crying in bed or fumbling with a sharp object.

💛Over time Hawks picked up on your thoughts and feelings, causing him to watch over you every second he could. He loved you so much, he couldn't lose you.

💛The amount of cute gifts he gets you griw over time. More stuffed animals, more snacks, more little trinkets. Anything to make you happy.

💛And again, it worked. The nights you spent crying or staring numbly at the ceiling slowly decreased. You also threw away the razors you had hidden, determined to stay clean.

💛When the work studies came you were the happiest you've ever been. You got to be with Hawks again.

💛Upon seeing him you were greeted with the best hug you've ever gotten along with fried chicken for lunch.

💛But something was off this time. He seemed a little more paranoid walking around the city with you, more eager to be inside at night, and disappearing at night.

💛It worried you, making you overthink the hole situation tenfold.

💛What if he was trying to avoid you? Where you being that annoying? Maybe he was tired of you. You should just leave him alone.

💛He hugs you goodbye as you leave, still conflicted.

💛Sadly your thoughts only grow stronger as time goes on. His texts become shorter and less frequent, making you think he was tired of you. His constant gifts had stopped as well

💛Hawks couldn't control his lack of contact with you. He wanted to spam you with memes at two am like he normally did but he was given a mission that couldn't be compromised, even at the expense of your friendship.

💛You fall back into your dark place without him. You were reminded of how forgettable you were to everyone, how you had no friends beside him, how your parents were disappointed in you.

💛What's the point in living in pain?

💛You start cutting again, just wanting to feel something again. You stop sleeping and eating, not feeling the need for it anymore. You completely passed out during training due to this.

💛One weekend you ride a train away from your town and into the one where Hawk's agency was. You were looking for him, a sign, anything, to tell you to stop.

💛The streets were empty and he was no where in sight.

💛You fight yourself at the top of a business building, hands trembling as you sent a final text to your only friend. You told him how much he ment to you, how grateful you were to him, how sorry you were for being annoying and taking up so much of his time, how this was goodbye.

💛You got to feel the wind rush past you. You were right about it being fun to free fall.

💛Hawks was talking to Dabi when his phone buzzed. Thinking it was the commission he checked it.

💛Dabi watched as Hawk's smug demeanor turned to confused then broken. He watched the pro hero fall to his knees and clutch his phone, nearly cracking it.

💛Dabi didn't even have a chance to ask what was wrong as Hawks flew at super sonic speed away from him and up into the sky.

💛He first scanned the buildings looking for you, wiping the tears from his eyes to try and see better. When he couldn't find you he swoops down low to the streets to see if he could catch you before you hit the ground.

💛He stops when he sees the splatters of your body of the ground.

💛He collapses next to you, sobbing as he looked at your remains.

💛It was his fault. He should've been there so much more. He should've watched you more carefully than he did. He should've killed those fuckers who thought they were better than you.

💛You should've lived.

💛Hawks lays there crying, going over all the things he did wrong and how it should've been him to die.

💛The morning comes and police officers tape off the area, pulling a now broken man away from you. They clean the area and leave.

💛Hawks mindlessly sits in the spot you were in, hoping this was a nightmare.

💛Night falls and Dabi managed to find him. He tells Hawks that he saw the news. It was odd for him to feel sympathy for a hero but here he was.

💛Hawks stands and grabs Dabi's hand, placing it on his face before begging him to set him ablaze. He didn't want to live in a world without you.

💛Dabi backs up, retreating his hand and looking at him stunned. What exactly did you mean to him?

💛Hawks continues to beg and pleas but Dabi continues to refuse. Too bad Hawks would do anything to die at this point.

💛Hawks shouts out his plans to spy on the league, to manipulate and destroy them from the inside. How he would kill them all in secret if he could. How it would be the best feeling ever to watch them die in betrayal.

💛Dabi falls for his trap. Rage was the only thing he could feel as his fire engulfed Hawks, semding him to the grave in a firey blaze.

💛He ran from the scene, leaving another body in the same spot.

kiby~💚

[loving-barnes]

BUCKY BARNES – FIRST (1/2)

(A/N): This one is a bit different and I hope that you will not judge Y/N because... well, you will read. There were parts where it was hard to put them down. I don’t know what else to add.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Summary: Bucky talks to Y/N about her insecurities and she reveals more to him than to any man before. 

Warning: nudity, sex talk, insecurities, 

Words: 4200+

FULL MASTERLIST |

BUCKY BARNES – FIRST (1/2)

I turned my head over a shoulder, eyes instantly capturing his whole being at the pool table where he was chatting with Sam and Steve, smiling and drinking a beer from a glass bottle. How a man could be this handsome; no, better: how could I be so lucky to be in a relationship with this man, I would never fully understand.

When his eyes found mine, he simply smiled at me. The team knew about us, but we were not in a state where we would fully show our relationship. It was an early stage of the relationship. So far, these were the most beautiful two months of dating and slowly falling in love with this man. However, I insisted on taking it slow and not rush to anything. Bucky accepted and I was relieved.

“So,” Wanda sat down next to me, holding a glass of wine between fingers. “How is everything going with you and Barnes?” she asked with a smile.

“Steady,” I replied easily, taking a sip of my water. “There is no rush, nothing wild. I like how things are going.”

Natasha joined us, leaving Clint and Bruce with Tony and Rhodey at the other side of the room. “What are you talking about?”

“I was just asking Y/N how things are going between her and Barnes,” Wanda replied.

“And?” Natasha sat next to the witch.

“Everything is going fine,” I replied, trying to hide my blush behind the glass. “There is nothing much to tell, to be honest.”

Both women looked at me with a grin. “So, give us the details and we mean the spicy details. We want to know everything.”

“Yes,” Wanda nodded. “We are like the teenage girls that are desperate to know everything about your sex life.”

That was a topic I was not ready to talk about. It was mostly because there was nothing to talk about and also, there was another story that I was not ready to share.

“Uh, there is nothing to tell. We didn’t do anything so far,” I replied nonchalantly, trying to act as if it was a normal thing. “We are taking our time.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N,” Natasha sighed, quickly changing her seat and sitting down next to me. “With this job and everything that is happening in the world, you need to find relief when you have a man by your side.”

I rolled my eyes. “I know…”

“I have noticed Bucky being a lot in the gym when we finish a mission,” said Wanda. “Because you are not letting off some steam, he has to do it alone in the gym.”

For a split second, I felt bad for him. Maybe he was already expecting something and I was not able to provide it. I sighed and drank the rest of the water.

“I love you girls, but I don’t want to talk about it,” after that, I stood up. “I just… can’t,” was the last thing I said to them and went into the kitchen to clean the glass. It was enough that I was struggling with it. I was not ready to talk about it with anyone, not even Bucky.

I could feel their confused glances when I walked away. I could only hope they would not follow me and talk about it. However, it was my lover that came to the kitchen to check up on me.

“Hey,” he smiled, stopping a few steps away from me. “Are you alright?”

Of course, their expression would make Bucky worry about me, so I put a simple smile on my face. “Yes, sure, you don’t have to worry. Go, have fun with boys. I’m going to my room to read a book or do some reports from the last mission. Few things are missing so I will put them there.”

“Alright,” he came closer to me and his hands wrapped around my waist. “I will come to check on you when I am done beating Sam’s ass.”

Him holding me like that made my knees weak. “You winning, Barnes?” I winked at him, grinning.

“I think I’m having a very lucky day today,” he deeply looked into my eyes. I wasn’t able to reply to it so he continued. “I mostly enjoy how angry he is when he loses. To be honest, we are just a game away until he’ll break something,” he laughed. After that, he kissed the top of my head. “Don’t work too much, alright, darling?”

I put a gentle smile on my face. “Of course,” and with that, I left him standing alone in the kitchen. My stomach was turning in every way and I became nervous. I knew what the sentence about being lucky was – he was hoping to finally sleep with me. Or maybe not and my mind was just playing with me.

I went back to my room and immediately started to work on the reports just to keep my mind occupied. I have noticed some spelling mistakes in Steve’s reports – it was mostly the old English that he knew, so I had corrected the sentences and closed the files, marking it as finished.

I had no idea how much time had passed. A knock on the door brought my mind back to the present and I turned to them. “Yes?” I answered, waiting for the intruder to come in.

Bucky stepped inside, wearing comfy sweatpants and a loose shirt. “Hey, you are still up?” he asked with a gentle smile.

“Of course I am. It is not that late.”

He had to laugh. “It is almost two in the morning. Are you still working?”

I took my phone and looked at the screen. I had no idea it was that late. “Ugh, yeah, I was working and finished like minutes ago, but I am done now. Thanks for checking on me. How was the game?” I closed my laptop and went to sit on my bed where Bucky joined me.

“Well, Sam had too many beers so it was very awkward to play with him. The girls also let loose a little so it was an interesting evening. We missed you there.”

“Well, next time, I will try to be there longer,” I yawned.

“Can I stay here tonight?” he asked with a genuine smile on his lips. “I would like to spend more time with you.”

I took a deep breath, quickly trying to say something. Should I let him stay the night or not, I thought. My lower lip trembled and I crossed arms over my breasts. “Uh,” I made a weird noise. My hands turned cold.

Bucky sighed and turned his whole body to me. “Alright, we need to talk. I can see that something is bothering you. I have noticed it a while ago. What is it? I am here for you. Talk to me.”

He was a sweetheart, worrying about me. “I-uh, is there?” I was becoming more nervous.

“Yes, there is. I can see it. As if you were afraid of something. Is it me?” The way he asked if it was him made my heartache. “A-are you scared of me or the hands?”

“No! No, of course, it is not you,” I quickly grabbed his hands into mine. “Don’t you dare think like that, Bucky. I am not afraid of you or scared of you or anything.” One of my hands went to his cheek and stroked it gently. “Never think that again, please. You are like a cute giant teddy bear that can be very protective of me,” I laughed a little, thinking back when he protected me at all cost during a mission.

He sighed in relief. “Well, I am glad. But there is something. I can see it in your eyes and the way you react. Please, talk to me and we will figure it out.”

There it was, the moment I had to let it all out and explain it to him. I was not prepared but I had to do it sooner or later. I made myself comfortable on the bed, as he did, facing each other. Immediately, I grabbed one of my pillows and hugged it.

“I am not ready to sleep with you,” I said quickly. “Because I- I have never slept with anyone.” Somehow, I couldn’t look into his eyes. The shame was unbearable. No, I was not ashamed. The other things were worse. “And there is a huge reason behind it.”

“Alright, tell me more,” he said calmly. “And please, don’t be ashamed. It is alright. I never wanted to pressure you or anything. I kind of figured it out.”

The way my face unpleasantly grinned made him chuckle. “Great so now that is out, I should start talking about the reasons why I have…” I was not able to form a proper sentence. “At first, I want you to think about one thing: have you ever seen me in something like Natasha or Wanda would wear - skinny clothes, beautiful, sexy dresses and bathing suits?”

I could see he was thinking very hard; trying to deep dive into the past months. “There was this one time that you wore this gorgeous dress at Tony’s party.”

“Yeah, that was the night we finally made the move and become a thing – Wanda was the one that picked the dress for me.”

“Well, she did a great job,” he winked at me. “Otherwise, I must say no.”

Taking a deep breath, I decided to deal with it like a normal adult – or, I tried. “I used to be fat!” I shouted it. My nerves got the best of me. “And there are some post-fat things still happening. I have loose skin on my stomach and my boobs are terrible and I just can’t…” I buried myself into the pillow, ready to cry. It was a tough thing to say out loud. My whole body was shaking. “Every time I wanted to be intimate with someone, I couldn’t… I still can’t. I am sick to my stomach and once the action starts I just want to vomit.”

There they were – the tears falling down my face. It was all too much for me. “I so want to but I can’t. I am fucking ugly and my body is devastated and it is my entire fault. Plus, my body just reacts the opposite way it should.”

“Oh, baby,” he sighed sadly and pulled me closer. His hands wrapped around me. “It’s okay. I will not pressure you or anything,” he whispered into my ear. “If you want, we can work on it together but believe me, you are not ugly. You are so beautiful and I love you so much.”

I stopped breathing for a moment and I had to look at him. “You love me?” I was surprised.

“Of course I love you, Y/N. I love you so much,” he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “In my eyes, you are perfect. You know, I have imperfections too and you accept me the way I am.”

“But you have the body of a god,” I sighed. “You are a handsome man and I don’t deserve you. You could have the most beautiful, perfect woman and here you are, stuck here with me.”

“Stop,” he put a hand over my mouth. “Don’t you dare do this to you,” he said strictly. “We will work on this and I will help you see yourself the way I see you – beautiful, sexy and perfect.”

“You think that?” I asked.

“Yes,” he nodded and kissed me lovingly on my lips. “Now, let’s go to bed and get some sleep, alright? I want you to relax. I will stay here tonight and we will get some rest, alright? And starting tomorrow, we will work on this, alright?”

I gave him another kiss. “Thank you, I love you too,” I whispered to him.

The smile he gave me afterwards was everything I ever wanted.

…

It was hard to believe that I finally found a man like Bucky. He didn’t force me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with and, which made my heart melt, he was the one who started to show his love publically – or in front of our friends.

I was in the kitchen with Steve and Rhodes when Bucky came there too and headed right to me. He spun me around and deeply kissed my lips. “Hello beautiful,” he whispered and kissed me again which made my head spin. To be honest, I was enjoying this very much.

“Now that is a surprise,” Steve said.

“So now you two are full-on PDA?” Rhodey asked with a frown.

Neither of us reacted to them. “Want to go train to the gym?” Bucky asked me, eyes never leaving mine. He grabbed me by a hand and started to drag me out of the kitchen.

“I don’t have a choice,” I giggled.

Once we were away from the kitchen, he turned to me. “Today I have prepared something for you,” he said it calmly but my nerves were on high alert. “I have got you a new working outfit.”

“Oh,” I was relieved. “Alright, care to describe it for me?”

He smirked. “With Natasha’s help, I have a new pair of sculpting leggings for your and a sports bra.”

“And?” I was waiting for a shirt.

“That’s it.”

I sighed. “I can’t work out without a shirt,” I complained.

When we came to the gym, the outfit was waiting for me on the bench. The leggings were black with a purple stripe on sides. The bra was also purple. “Go put it on. No one will be here with us today.”

“Bucky…”

“Go,” he stroked my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. “I will be waiting here for you.”

Without any other choice, I went to the dressing room to change into the clothes. It took me more than dressing should. When I saw myself in the mirror, I wasn’t that terrified of the look as I thought I would be. The leggings were with a high waist and they formed my legs pretty nicely. My breast looked a bit smaller but also in better shape than normally.

I came back to the gym, ready to work out when I have noticed Bucky staring at me with an opened mouth. “You look sexy in those,” he pointed at me and grinned. “I think I did a good job.”

“You did,” I nodded. “And I don’t mind the skin that is showing under my boobs because that is not the worst part of my body,” I had to laugh. “Thank you Bucky,” a loving smile appeared on my face.

While we were working out, I have noticed the way Bucky was eyeing me. Occasionally, I have noticed how he had a hard time to focus and it made me blush a lot. And when I bent over to grab some weights, he was done. “Fuck, I can’t help it,” he groaned and came to me. His hand rested on my ass and he stroked the left cheek a little. “You are so fucking sexy Y/N. You have no idea what you are doing to me right now.”

Leaving the weights on the floor I stood up and turned to him. My eyes landed on the prominent hard-on he had. I had to look somewhere else because my face became red as hot pepper. “I- ugh…” I was speechless.

“No need to be ashamed,” he said. “At least you know what you do to me and how sexy you are,” he said it proudly. “I think our training is over. I need to take care of this,” he pointed at his crotch and I again blushed hardly and had to close my eyes.

“I feel bad,” I sighed. “I have brought this to you and I am not able to help you with that. Fuck,” I gulped dryly.

“It’s alright. I can take care of it,” he quickly kissed my cheek. “I will see you later, alright?” and after that, he quickly went into men’s dressing room.

I felt bad. I could feel how many men and women were judging me.

…

A few days later, we arrived back to the headquarters after a short but tough mission. All of us ended with bruises and cuts – some of us, including me, needed a few stitches. And, as always, I was lucky enough to have Bucky with me the whole time. He knew how scared I was of needles. I asked him if he could stay until it was done and he accepted with a tired smile.

After I was all patched, we went to an elevator, ready for a shower. “Can you come to my room once you are showered and changed?” Bucky kissed the top of my hair and I nodded. “We will have some food in my room and we can relax while watching a movie.”

“Sounds nice,” I said simply.

After that, our ways departed. I took a long hot shower and cleaned my body properly – getting rid of dirt while making sure my scares were protected from the water. I felt a new wave of energy hit me once I was fully dressed in comfortable loose clothes – no bra under the ACDC shirt, shorts, fluffy socks and wet hair up in a messy bun. Before I went to Bucky’s room, I made us a kettle of hot tea and brought it on a table with two mugs.

When I arrived in the room, the first thing I heard was the sound of running water. Bucky was still in the shower. I put the trey on a night table and made myself comfortable on his bed. I could smell his scent all over the sheets and it made me smile. Not only was he a fucking good looking man, but he even smelled good.

A minute later, I was spread on his bed as if it was mine and sniffed his pillows like a cat. How come his bed was more comfortable than mine? My eyes focused on the closed doors of the bathroom. If only I had more will to go there, get naked and just seal the deal. But no; here I was, rather staying on his bed, not doing anything and panicking when thought about sex came across my mind.

Why was I so afraid? That man said he loved me and I love him too. I huffed and buried my head under the sheets.

The door to the bathroom opened and I peeked up, to see Bucky. When my eyes landed on him, my mouth fell on the ground. He was standing there in nothing but a towel that was hanging low on his hips. My cheeks reddened and I wanted to hide into a hole. Yet I couldn’t help but keep my eyes on him, taking in his beauty and toned muscular body.

“Wow,” escaped my lips.

“Like something you see?” he asked mi with a wide grin on his face.

“I do,” I admitted quickly. “You are so beautiful, Bucky.” And a second later, I felt terrible. I was dating a very hot guy that could have a better woman by his side – a sexy one that would please him the way I couldn’t. And there it was, the damn feeling making my stomach turn in every direction. What if I was cursed and this was my punishment? “Maybe I should go,” I swiftly stood up from the bed, ready to leave.

Bucky grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me closer to his almost naked body. “No, no, no, darling,” he sighed and stroked my cheek with his vibranium fingers. “I can see your thoughts.”

“It’s just me and y-you, I mean you look… Have you seen you? And I’m just this…” I was rambling fast, slowly mentally falling apart. “I can’t do this to you. It’s not fair and you do deserve someone better that will give you everything that I can’t.”

A second later he made me sit back on his bed and he squatted in front of me. “Breathe,” he said gently. “First, I am not trying to make a move tonight,” he started to explain. “However, I did want to know your reaction seeing me like this,” he pointed at the fact that he was wearing a simple towel. “It’s cute that you are blushing and having this reaction. On the other hand, the way you still think that any other woman would be better for me – now that is a fucking bullshit. They would never be able to give me what you can.”

“Please, stop,” I put a finger over his lips to make him silent for a second. “I am also afraid that once you have a way with me, and see what is underneath the clothes, you will dump me the morning after. I am scared to believe you most of the things you say to me.”

“Someone did hurt your mind and soul,” he grabbed my hands into his. “I promise you that everything I say to you is true and I will do everything in my power to prove it to you. I will do whatever I can to make you feel comfortable, loved and sexy in your skin. That is the least I can do for you. You care for me, accepted the monster I am…”

After those words, I jumped onto him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Tears fell on my cheek. It hurt me that he thought he was a monster. “Don’t you fucking dare to say that word to yourself,” I said, crying. “You are not a monster; you never were. Those fuckers did that to you, to an innocent man. You are so much more than you can imagine.” I took a deep breath. “I fucking love you so much, James. You deserve the world and someone better than me.”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” he wiped the tears away from my cheeks. “You want the best for me and you wouldn’t let yourself to have the same treatment.”

It made sense of what he said. I would do anything for him, even take the pain, but I would not let him do the same for me – I would not let anyone do the same thing for me.

“Don’t be afraid to let me in. I will not hurt you,” he added.

“I know,” I nodded, eyes falling on the floor. It was a struggle not to look between his legs where his towel was ending. “I want to let you in, I am trying.” Suddenly, I smiled. “I want to do everything with you, you know? Be playful, be clingy. Do the missions and work as well as doing the dirty stuff,” I blushed.

He laughed but instantly kissed my forehead. “We can do everything you want. But hear this – I will always be too protective of you, even during missions. I will not be forcing you into things you are not comfortable with and when it comes to the dirty stuff, we can slowly work on that as I promised.”

“And I will try to not be a prude.”

“You are not a prude.”

Just as Bucky stood up, his towel let loose right in front of my eyes and it fell on the floor. The moment we had was instantly gone and he was standing in front of me in all his glory – naked. My eyes widened and my cheeks were red as a tomato. Holy shit, he was thick.

“Sorry,” he laughed and took the towel, covering his penis.

“N-no, no, uh, i-it’s totally fine,” I stuttered. “I’ll just have something to think about.”

Bucky went to his drawers to pick up some sweatpants to put on. “Get into the bed and find a movie. I’ll be right with you.”

I did as told and hid under the covers, trying to find something on his TV that was on the wall, opposite the bed. Minutes later, Bucky was by my side, getting comfortable in the bed. I handed him a cup of tea and we started to watch Detective Pokémon – because I wanted to show him what my childhood was.

“Now I understand why you loved these creatures so much,” he said mostly to himself, but I heard it and laughed a little.

It was cute and I was glad that Bucky came to my life. I knew it was worth opening up to him and being more available. Thinking about everything that happened between us the last week or so, I kept going back to the feeling when something was about to happen between us. Maybe, it was not fear that was going through my body, but anticipation.

I took a quick look at Bucky who had his eyes focused on the screen, occasionally laughing. I smiled lovingly. This man was the one I was looking for.

[fandomsilhouette]

the presents they measured (the presence she treasured)

Love is a powerful motivator. Jealous is even more so. Suddenly, someone finds themselves falling faster than they knew how to breathe, before they knew they were even walking to the edge of a cliff, too quickly to enjoy the scenery on the walk over, and all they know is that by the time they crash-land, they’d better be ready to fight. Someone pushed them over the edge. It’s time for revenge.  Happy @felinettenovember​, y’all! Yes, we are in fact back to happy times. This has been written in collaboration with @musicfren​, who will be posting the second part on his account tomorrow. It continues to be fluffy fluff, don’t worry... for now >:3 We’ll be doing every weekend pair together, so follow him if you don’t already or you’ll be missing a whole chapter!!! 

Part 1 below. Part 2 upcoming. 

“...did I miss Marinette’s birthday?” 

“Dude, what are you talking about? Mari’s birthday is in April.” Nino shoots a pointed look at the snow drifting down to the streets as he shakes the now-sludgy water off his snow boots and starts unwrapping himself out of his winter gear, piling them up in a wet mess on Felix’s desk. Felix, for once, chooses not to complain, opting instead to focus on the main issue here. 

“Well, but there’s a gift on her desk and November seventh is definitely too early for holiday gifts.” Felix smirks slyly at a camera no one else can see as he said the date, making Nino send him a weird look. Then again, Felix was weird all the time. Nino is used to it by now, so he doesn’t comment any further. 

Nino shoots him a sidelong glance. “Dude, why are you specifically checking her desk?”

“Unimportant, I saw it as I walked in. Do you know who put it there?” Felix says, swerving the discussion violently back to the most salient point. 

“…bruh… her desk requires you to turn almost 180˚ from where you would need to go for your desk.” 

“Unimportant, I said.” Hopefully his Ladybug-red blush doesn’t show under the still-flickering half on lights that no one has bothered to flick the other switch for. The back half of the classroom is bathed in residual light and Felix can hardly see his own hand in front of him, but by Nino’s amused smirk, his blush is clearly bright enough to light up the path to his doom. 

Nino opens his mouth, but whatever snark he was going to respond with is lost under a quiet “ooooooh!” and the sound of wrapping paper being carefully pried apart. Felix turns and his meticulously coiffed composure slips a bit. 

“Marinette!” He half-falls out of his chair as he scampers anxiously to her side. He stands protectively behind her as if about to pull her to safety, hands hovering awkwardly around her waist, but she seems far too engrossed by the present before her to notice. Later, Felix will blush and be glad she didn’t. Later than that, she’ll admit she saw and just chose to ignore it, and Felix will blush again. 

“I wonder what it i-- ooh!!” With a small happy gasp, she pulls back the paper (a disgustingly garish shade of green, easily three shades off of the correct shade, obviously) to reveal a dainty box of chocolates and an elegant white card, ornately decorated in gold leaf print. Marinette curiously picks up the card as Felix cranes his head intently over her shoulder. Inside, in pretentiously penciled cursive, is a simple phrase:

“With love, your secret admirer <3”

Felix immediately scoffs, grabbing Marinette’s wrist and pulling her into his chest, but she scarcely pays him any mind, so engrossed is she in her gift.

“Gosh, that’s really thoughtful of them, picking my favorite!  Who… whoever they are…”

“It’s not even your favorite kind of chocolate!” Felix screams in his head, and refuses to acknowledge the follow-up question of whether he even knows what her favorite chocolate is. He’s quickly distracted, anyways, when Marinette giggles, which is a very distracting sound, Nino, stop looking at him like that!

“Haha, I could even say it’s… sweet! of them!!” She pops a chocolate in her mouth and Felix is riveted to the way her lips purse around the sweet, the way her tongue swirls around her finger as she sucks the last of it off. 

Nino shoots him an impressed glance and mouths, “Dude, nice!” but Felix’s mind is too busy spinning to process why. What on EARTH was happening?! 

It takes him the next two classes and most of lunch to work up the courage to ask. “Um… what’s a secret admirer?” 

Nino pauses mid-bite, fork dangling in the air, to give Felix such a dumbfounded look that Felix immediately chooses to google the term instead, furtively hiding his phone under the bench. “Dude… why did you use that word if you didn’t even know what it meant, you walnut??” 

Felix slams the lid down on his food and walks away immediately, footsteps echoing to the sound of Nino’s laughter. 

He hopes to put this baffling incident behind him, but to Felix’s immense distress, the parade of gifts does not stop there. At her locker the next morning, Felix finds himself needing to push through a group of students all cooing over… something he cannot make out from behind the crowd. As he gets closer, he notices flowers pinned up in the shape of a heart over her locker, with a grand bouquet of roses pinned in the center. Felix’s nose twitches, itches, and then-- 

“Achoo!!”

Rose petals go flying everywhere and Marinette laughs, delighted. Kim nudges into him. “Sick show, bro! She loved that, how’d you time that sneeze??” 

Felix doesn’t know. He’s confused. He wants to go home.

Two days after that, the PA system crackles through the classroom five minutes before the class  is scheduled to end. Principal Damoclese clears his throat with a sharp peak in the audio and says in his most bored, reading-off-a-paper voice: “Marinette Dupain-Cheng to the courtyard, please, that’s Marinette Dupain-Cheng to the courtyard.” Bustier winks and ends class early, and everyone floods outside to see a teddy bear holding a cute little love-heart. Marinette makes a beeline to it and hugs it immediately, burying her face in its fur. It’s adorable, actually, and Felix tries very hard to not be jealous of a stuffed toy. 

He does not succeed. 

“OHMIGOSH, Felix!!!” Rose squeals, “That was so romantiiiiic, you’re sooooooo good at this!!! How are you being this sweeeeeeet??? <3 <3 <3” Felix can hear the hearts in her voice. Juleka mumbles something that he can only assume is agreement. Felix just sits down where he was standing and puts his head in his hands. Why did nothing make sense?

Felix leans his head against the window of the car, letting the bumps in the road thunk his forehead against the glass in a nice, soothing, repetitive dull pain, better than the constant headache he’s been living with for the last week. Their words spin about his head, hounding his thoughts. His chauffeur is silent for once

“Dude, nice!” “Sick show, bro!” “How are you being this sweet???”

And that’s when it hits him, making a hollow thunk off his empty skull.

Someone is getting her these gifts. And they think he did it. 

Another heartbeat. 

OH NO, THEY KNOW HE LIKES HER! Wait. He likes her?! ...oh no. He DOES. 

Staring out at the road speeding by far too fast, Felix clenches his hands into fists. He’d never expected to find himself here: head over heels crushing on a girl that everyone knew he liked before he ever worked it out on his own, a week late into a competition he doesn’t remember entering. 

Well, no matter. There’s still time to enter, catch up, win.

The next day, Marinette finds another chocolate box on her desk, bigger, more expensive, and exactly the correct shade of green. Each one is handcrafted into increasingly more elaborate designs, laced with caramel and toffee and candied pecans. The spread takes over her desk and Alya’s, and Felix grins smugly. 

“Wait. Didn’t you already do this?” Nino asks, but Felix is too busy. There is an entire wheelbarrow of flowers to deliver by lunch. 

His competition moves quickly: by the end of the school day, the PA is playing a serenade for her in front of the whole school. As soon as the bell rings, he cancels his next order and places a rush on the biggest size they offer: clearly, he’s going to need to do better. He doesn’t bother to look at the sizing or the price. Nothing is too big or too expensive for Marinette. 

The next day Marinette finds a third box, so big it doesn’t even fit on her desk and instead sits next to it like an awkwardly crouched gremlin. Felix glowers at it, not having realized exactly how big it was going to be, and becoming increasingly concerned as she shrieks with delight, yanking out the artistically crinkled tissue paper and tossing it gleefully behind her, climbing into the giant box as soon as she makes enough space for herself. 

Terrified, Felix shuffles over and peeks over the edge. She’s curled up in the paws of his giant stuffed animal, half asleep, looking so cozy he can hardly bear it. 

...oh, goodness, he’s getting jealous of a toy again. His own toy, even!  

There’s nothing for a few days, and Felix relaxes, and then--

The entire classroom is covered in flowers of every kind come Thursday morning. Bustier cancels the first period and directs everyone coughing and sneezing to the nurse, and convinces everyone who can stand the pollen to help her move it out of the way. 

It turns out the class has been talking about the secret admirers-- a lot more than Felix expected. Sometime after the impromptu courtyard concert by Jagged Stone and the last minute fashion walk between classes, and between the endless planning and scheming and glowering, Felix finds himself cornered by Nino, who’s lost his hat, glasses hanging half off his face in a way Felix could’ve sworn they didn’t used to bend, looking more feral than Felix had ever seen him. 

“ENOUGH, FELIX.” And then Felix finds himself being dragged bodily to an empty classroom where at last he faces his opponent-- nay, his nemesis. He recognizes them at once, because of the way they, too, are being held prisoner, the only other put together person in the entire room. 

Oh, he really should’ve known. 

[justoneday-namjoonii]

Quarters. | 8

☼1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8

prompt: Sitting here, patching myself up. Crying over what's left, 'cause without you I ain't shit, but no pressure guess I gotta learn my lesson. Sorry — 6LACK

pairing: Jungkook x reader

warnings/au: dysfunctional relationship with a capital D, family drama, humor(i try), temptations, drug usage, relapsing, hoeing, mentions and accusations of infidelity, jk has baby-fever for two seconds if you squint,, bloody, 18+ for heavy scenes, fluff, angst, this is purely fiction please do not read if you are sensitive or easily triggered boxer!au, iceskater!au.

authors note: omg FINALLY💜🐰 this chapter really took everything I had lol, like always, this part is a little out there, their relationship gets tested and they’re forced to grow. Will edit later. enjoy!

It’s so early in the morning, the sun is just now rising—the beauty does nothing for your anxiety though.

You told Jungkook that he needs to rest, he needs to take it easy and clear his mind before he walks into that hospital. The last thing you need is a stressed Jungkook behind the wheel, he’s way too unpredictable when he’s upset. After a few minutes of going back and forth, he gave up and let you drive him—in his car. This is a privilege. He doesn’t let anyone drive his car, not his best friends, not even you. He says, no one knows how to handle her like I do.

It always makes you laugh when he says that.

Jungkook glances at you as you take a turn at a questionable speed. He’s definitely driving back home. 

You look around the crowded parking lot and pull into a visitor's parking space, squeezing between the white lines surprisingly well.

“That was a long drive,” You pull the key out of the ignition and turn your head to look at him, “but we made it.”

Jungkook doesn’t turn to look at you, rather, he takes a deep breath and his eyes shut before he drags his hands down his face. “I’m gonna warn you now, I’m going off on him if he gives me some shit excuse as to why he decided to leave me out of the loop on this.”

“Jungkook, please don’t do that. Stay calm, for your mother's sake and mine, I’m nervous.” You sigh, trying to grasp the fact that you’re about to meet his family for the first time. You open your door and slide out, naturally, you assumed he was doing the same thing. When you drop the keys into your purse and close the door, he still in the passenger's seat, head in his hands.

“Jungkook.” You stomp around the vehicle and open his door. “Come on, we need to go inside,”

He sighs, heavy black boots landing on the pavement when he gets out of the car, stretching his legs in the hugging black jeans. When he closes the door, he bends down to look at himself in the window, hair still a little wet.

“You look good with messy hair, don’t fix it too much,” You smile, trying to lighten the mood, he smiles a little but he’s back to that grave face in just a few seconds. His silver necklace is a nice touch to his outfit you notice, he paired it with his hooped earrings and you think it looks really charming. 

You haven’t been to a hospital in a while. Nurses with bright colored scrubs come to and from the nurse's station, visitors pace around the gift shop, hoping to find the perfect for their loved one. When you two get signed in as visitors, your eyes wander to the couple at the sliding doors, the woman is in a wheelchair holding her baby and the man is trying to help in any way possible, the nurse gazes at him fondly. She knows he’s trying hard.

“Here you go, she’s in room 202A,” The nurse hands you the sticky tags to and points you in the right direction. Jungkook breathes in, looking like the antiseptic and sterile environment makes him dizzy.

“Should I get her a gift?” Your eyes follow the family walking out of the gift shop with get well balloons and teddy bears. 

“You can, she’d like that,” He follows you into the gift shop and you go straight to the bunnies in the corner. After sorting through the stuffed animals, you pick the little pink one in the back. Now that you see the bunny, it’s only right to get her a balloon and some flowers.

“Hi there,” She cashier greets you, taking your items to ring them up, “great choices.”

“Thanks,” You smile, proud that this random lady approves of your gifts. 

It’s not long before you’re leaving the shop to finally meet see her, to finally meet his family. Does Jungkook have her eyes? The cute sun rays at the corner of his eyes when he laughs, does he get that from her? These questions swarm your mind when Jungkook's hand grips the doorknob, just seconds away from opening another part of his world to you.

“Knock, knock,” He opens the door and the brightest smile came to his face when he sees the woman on the bed. He beckons you to follow and you just know you must have the most awkward smile on your face.

“Jungkook! Oh my gosh, I didn’t know you were coming!” 

She looks at him like he’s a puppy – as if he’s the epitome of love and innocence. 

He runs to give her a hug, eyes squeezing shut, relieved that she’s in one piece and smiling that life-saving smile. “I’m glad you’re okay mom,” He sighs, standing back and reaching for you to shuffle you towards his mother, “this is Y/n, my girlfriend.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” You smile, holding your gifts out to her, “this is for you, I hope you like it.”

“Aw, thank you, honey,” She takes the bunny with bright eyes and you sit the flowers on the stand beside her bed, “I’m so glad he brought you to meet me. I hate that we’re meeting under these circumstances though.”

“Jooe called me last night, scared me half to death,” Jungkook takes a seat in the recliner beside her and you sit in the little cushioned bench near the window, “are you okay?”

“I’m as good as can be expected, I guess,” She continues to talk to Jungkook and just observe them, admiring their similarities—you note that she looks very young, “I felt terrible yesterday. The doctors told me that I got here right on time, the appendix was badly ruptured, it felt like cramps from hell.”

“Where’s Kev and Jooe?” Jungkook says her husband's name differently than his little sisters.

“She was getting restless, he took her to get something from the cafeteria. Something tells me you’re not too happy with him, and my intuition never lies so what’s the problem?”

“Mom, I got the call that you were in the hospital from Jooe. Why didn’t he call me? Why does she have a phone, by the way? She’s 6.”

“I know, she told me.” She lets out a sigh, knowing where Jungkook is going. “It’s an emergency cellphone app on her tablet, it’s not an actual phone.”

He dismisses the information to return to his original topic. “I shouldn’t have gotten a call that you were in the hospital from her. Kev, your husband, should have let me know.” 

“Jungkook, he was stressed out, okay? He was trying to make sure I was okay so his attention was a little divided, don’t be too hard on him.”

“He did it on purpose, he’s always tried to keep me out of the loop when it comes to you. I’m fucking tired of it-”

“Kookie!” 

A high-pitched voice squeals from an adorable little girl with two long jet-black pigtails atop her head. She runs from the man once holding her hand to jump into Jungkook’s arms. It’s evident in his mother's eyes that her heart is melting at the sight.

“It’s good to see you too, Jooe,” He giggles, pulling back to get a good look at her, “Hey, I want you to meet someone.” 

You squirm anxiously, for some reason wanting her more than anyone else approval.

“She’s really special to me,” When she adjusts to sit in his lap, she finally looks at you. He leans to whisper in her ear, “say hi.” He moves her to fully face you, making both of your eyes go wide at meeting each other.

“Hi,” She shyly waves, back leaning into Jungkook to seek comfort.

“Hi, I’m Y/n,” You wave, “you’re so pretty, you look just like your mom.”

She blushes, hands grabbing at her yellow sun-dress instinctively. “Thank you, you’re really pretty too.” She cracks a bright smile and her attention goes to her mother when she starts asking her about what she ate for breakfast.

“Jungkook, I didn’t think you’d be able to make it,” Kev finally speaks and the sparkle in Jungkook’s eyes fades instantly. 

“Well, here I am.” Jungkook shoots back, eyes menacing and dark within a matter of seconds.

“Um, hello,” You stand up to greet who you assume if ‘Kev,’ hand extended and he takes it in a friendly manner, “I’m Y/n, you’re Kevin, right? It’s nice to meet you, I’m Jungkook’s-” 

“You must be his better half,” You nod, scooting back to sit down, “a pleasure to meet you, sweetheart.”

A million-dollar pearly smile, business clothes on, hair slicked back like that of a TV-doctors—he seems really kind, you can’t see why Jungkook would have such a problem with him. It’s hard to sit here knowing he’s the reason Jungkook wasn’t invited to his step-brother's wedding. The reason he called you drunk as hell because he was so hurt—this guy did that to him.  

“Has the doctor been in to talk to you? I have a call to jump on but I want to be with you to see what she says.”

“Don’t worry about it, honey, take your call, I know you’re pressed for time,” She sighs in relief, “I’m just glad Jungkook is here, I feel better just from seeing his face,” She reaches for his hand and a spark of pride comes to him, “it’s been too long.”

He knows and guilt eats him up for that more than she knows.

“Well, you know Jungkook, he’s got a busy life, doesn't have too much time for stuff like this,” He laughs a little, eyes landing on you for a moment, “I’m sure you get that, don’t you hon?”

He’s looking at you and you turn a little pale. You look at Jungkook, and then open your mouth to utter out something, “Well, um, no I-...”

“Kev, leave the girl alone,” Jungkook’s mom intervenes, noticing how flustered you looked.

“I can’t make time for shit that I don’t even know is happening,” Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to laugh, but not out of genuine amusement, he’s doing it to stay calm, “What do you expect? You don’t tell me shit.”

“All you have to do it ask,” Kevin stands next to his wife, opening up his phone to absentmindedly tap the screen.

“That’s bullshit...” Jungkook let one too many words slip before thinking of the child in his lap who’s more focused on his phone than anything. The two of them make you feel uneasy, it’s like one wrong word from either of them would start a brawl. 

“No!” Jooe exclaims, sliding off of Jungkook’s lap, “I left my sweater in the cafeteria! I have to go get it before someone takes it!” Distress befalls her and now the whole room's attention is on her.

“Jooe, I told you to make sure you kept it wrapped around your waist,” Kev doesn’t look like he wants to go but he grudgingly stands to his feet. “Come on,”

“Do you want me to take her? I was going to get coffee anyway, I can help her look for it.” You look at Jooe with a sweet smile.

“Oh, are you sure? I mean, as long as you don’t mind I fine with it,” It’s almost like you answered his prayer because he fell back into a chair with a sigh of relief.

“Of course I don’t mind,” You stand up, holding out your hand, “is it okay if I go with you, Jooe?” She nods, taking your hand without hesitation. Jungkook looks in awe as you seem to already be a favorite of his little sisters—he’s never seen you interact with children, but it warms his heart.

“We’ll be back everyone,” 

You wave to the room as you go on a mission to find the missing sweater. As soon as the door closed, Jungkook’s mom smirks at him. 

“What? You’re giving me a weird look.”

“She’s so sweet Jungkook, oh my gosh. I’m so glad you brought her, I’ve never met one of your girlfriends before, she must really be something. Look, Kev,” She points to the flowers and the bunny in bed next to her, “she brought me these cute gifts.”

“That’s sweet,” He looks up from his phone, then at Jungkook, “you better hang on to her.”

“That’s what I’m doing,” Jungkook scoffs. “So all l I have to do is ask, you expect me to have to beg for information on my own mother?”

“We live in different city’s and sometimes it’s easy to handle things and let you know after everything's said and done.” He reasons, eyes going to his cellphone in an attempt to exit the conversation peacefully. To both his mother and Kev’s surprise, he leaves it at that—not cussing, not lashing out, he just sinks back into his seat, expression unreadable. Jungkook remembered that you asked him not to lash out, and he’s so tempted to, but he’s gotta keep things under control for you.

You must have made a difference in him because this isn’t the Jungkook they’re used to.

* * *

“What color is it, Jooe?” 

You and this bubbly little girl are holding hands and walking into the cafeteria. “Sky blue, it’s my favorite, what if someone took it...” concern coats her tone, it makes you a thousand times more determined to find it. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll find it, you’re with a professional sweater detective Jooe,” You give her hand a reassuring squeeze and draw a little smile from her. It only takes a few questions to get her to retrace her steps. She finally finds the table she sat at while her dad ordered her fold and it was right there. It’s just a sweater, but she’s so happy.

”I told you we’d find it,” You’re relieved she found it, now you can get your coffee, “I’m just gonna get some coffee, then we can go back up to the room.” You lead her to stand by you when you walk up to the counter. A protective arm around her shoulders as you order two small lattes. They come out quickly and she begs you to carry Jungkook’s, you’re afraid she’ll drop it, but you give her a chance.

“Okay, but be careful,” She walks right beside you, both hands tight on the disposable cup, you open the door for her to walk in and she beams.

“We found it,” She walks up to Jungkook, handing him the cup, “and we brought you coffee.” 

“Thank you guys,” He looks up at you, his eyes sparkling.

“I’ll be right back, I have to make a phone call,” You look to Jungkook to reassure him that everything is okay. But you got a text from your older sister Layla. Call me. She rarely reached out like this so you decided to give her a call, hoping nothing was wrong

“Hello,” 

“Hey, Y/n, how are you?”

“I’m fine, what’s wrong? You texted me to call, what’s going on?”

She sighs, “I need a favor,”

“What is it?”

“I need someone to watch Lily, I’m in your part of town and I have to go see her dad.”

“Layla,” You message your temples, “I’m not in town and I don’t know if I can watch a baby right now, I’m with my b-”

“Please Y/n, I can’t call mom, you know how she is with him,” 

“Okay, okay,” You cut her off, looking down at your watch to see if you can make it home before 11, “I can get home around 11, bring her by 11:30.”

“Thank you! Thank you, I’ll see you then little sis,” She sounds relieved, and even though this wasn’t apart of your plans, you do feel good about helping her out. You type up a quick message to tell Jungkook that your visit has to be cut short. Hoping he sees it, you walk back into the room and give his family a kind smile.

“I’m sorry to cut the visit short, but I have a little situation that came up with my sister’s baby, so I’m gonna have to go,” Jungkook stands up, sitting Jooe where he once sat with her tablet and promptly kissing her forehead and telling her he’ll see her soon.

“Oh, we understand Y/n, I’m just glad I was able to meet you,” His mom reaches to give you a hug goodbye, she whispers, “take care of him for me.” 

“I will,” You notice that Kev had stepped out so you weren’t able to say goodbye to him, and you have a feeling Jungkook is glad. 

“I love you mom, call me if anything changes,” His mom kisses his cheek, relishing in the rare affection she gets to show her son.

His family loves him.

When you get to the car, you can see relief overtake his body, knowing his mother is in good health. This time he drives, and now he gets to assist you with your family situation.

“So, what’s up with your sister?”

“She needs me to watch her baby,” You lean against the window, pressing your temples, “she’s having baby-daddy issues, but she won’t say it,”

“Hm,” He nods, knowing how that can be according to some of his friends, “how old is the baby?”

“She’s five months or six months old, something like that, I was supposed to go out to help Rosie pack for her new apartment but I guess I’ll have to get there later,” and you were really looking forward to that.

“Oh, she’s a young baby,” 

You can’t help but giggle, “Aren’t they all,”

“Yeah, but I mean like, she still needs her mothers milk and she probably is just- I don’t know, small?” In the midst of him explaining the difference between a baby and a young-baby, your eyes flutter shut and you fall straight to sleep. The gentle hum of the engine lulled you to sleep. When he looked over, a grin came to his face—even thought you fell asleep in the middle of his talking, he loves you.

For some reason, you’re stressed.

“Jungkook, you don’t have to stay,” You told him that a hundred times, telling him he was supposed to be conditioning today but he insisted, “I got this.”

“I don’t have to go until late,” He’s laying on your couch, a black tee-shirt on, showing his beautiful arms and the tattoos that graced them. He’s drawing one for one of Yoongi’s clients tonight. Yoongi has his own tattoo shop, where it smells like weed and you’re sure drug deals happen in the back. You want to go lay with him, but instead, you're in the kitchen trying to clean your stress away on the stainless steel. “I’ll stay for a while, you went with me this morning,”

“Just know that you don’t have to,” You mumble, that’s when you hear the doorbell ring, “she’s here.” When you yank the gloves off, you go to the door and take a breath before opening it.

“Hi, Y/n,” Layla walks right in, giving you a big hug.

“Hey,” You smile, eyes filling with adoration when you see your niece in the car seat, “hi Lily,” You lead Layla to sit the car seat on the couch where Jungkook was waiting to be introduced.

“Layla, Jungkook,” You gesture to him, ���Jungkook, Layla.”

“Hi,” He flashes a sweet smile, “nice to meet you.”

“Oh hello, nice to meet you too, “ She nudges your arm, giving you gossiping-girlfriend eyes. “Y/n didn’t tell me you were so handsome,” 

“Yeah, well, must’ve slipped my mind,” You laugh, the most in-genuine laugh he’s ever heard, “did you bring her a few changes of clothes? Bottles? Formula?”

“Are you her mom, or am I?” She laughs, handing you the baby bag. “Everything’s in there, she should be hungry in a few minutes.”

“Okay, will you be back to get here tonight? I have plans tonight so-”

“Yeah, before 7,” She’s headed to the front door, “thanks so much for watching her.”

The door closes, and just as quick, Lily starts to cry.

“She’s crying,” Jungkook moves closer to her pink car seat, hesitantly moving her seat to look at her increasingly red face. “do you want me to-”

You rush over to pick her up, “It’s okay Lily,” cradling her against you, “Auntie Y/n is watching you while mommy takes care of some business,” You walk around, rocking her a little, then you remember she’s probably just hungry. His eyes are wide, watching you hold the little girl to cry to calm her

“Jungkook,” He shakes out of his daze and looks at you, “can you warm her a bottle? Just run it under hot water for a minute or so,” You point to the baby bag and take a seat on the couch. He gets up promptly, finding the bottle easily and taking it to the kitchen.

He dries the bottle and brings it to you, “Thanks,” You sit her up, her curly brown hair a little smashed on one side but still cute. When you bring it to her lips, her crying ceases and you breathe in relief, Jungkook sits beside you, leaning on your shoulder and watching the TV.

“Hopefully she’ll nap after this,” Her big brown eyes look from you to Jungkook every few seconds, “look at her hair, it’s so curly,” 

“Yeah, it is,” He smiles, looking down at your niece, “she’s adorable,”

It’s not long before she finishes her bottle, you burp her and put her back in the seat so she can nap. Surprisingly, she doesn’t fuss, and you leave her and Jungkook on the couch so you can go to the table to finish the essay that you forgot you had.

He’s awoken by a cry. In his many years with Jooe when she was a baby, he often woke up to cries. He groggily opens his eyes and shoots up to see what was wrong with Lily and to see where you went.

“Hey,” He reaches down the lift her small body into his completely contrasting hands, “it’s okay, don’t cry, shh,” Naturally, he bounces her gently, feeling bad for her inability to express her sorrow, “what’s wrong Lily-” That’s when it hits him, “Oh,” He sighs, “I would cry too.”

With her in one arm, he grabs her baby bag, dragging it across the couch. Once he finds the changing mat, he lays it out and lays her on it. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen a baby turn so red, she looks like she’ll set the house on fire if he doesn’t hurry up.

“I know, I’m sorry,” He takes out the diapers, wipes, and gloves, “I haven’t changed a baby in years, give me a break,” 

After dodging her kicks to his hands and relieving her of the dirty diaper, she’s cleaned up and the color is coming back to her face.

“Damn,” He triple-bags the diaper and gloves and takes it to the trash with her in his other arm, “I think I did a pretty good job, what do you think?” He smiles, proud of himself for being an ideal babysitter in his eyes, even though she’s still crying a little bit.

“Where is your aunt?” He drops the bag in the trash and then looks around for you. When he finds you, your head is on your textbook and your computer screen was black, you fell asleep doing work. He’s found you like this many times after skate practice, cramming for assignments that you procrastinated on.

“Let’s let her sleep for a little bit,” Resisting the urge to wake you, opting for taking Lily to the couch so she could chill in her seat. He turns on his game counsel that he left over here and makes himself busy.

Lily was quiet for the most part after he gave her a pacifier and she found a dangling thing on her seat—she’s good now.

Suddenly, you feel paper stick to your face and your eyes fluttered open. 

“Jungkook?” You shoot up, wiping your face and looking around. “How long was I asleep?” You quickly walk over to the living room, looking at your boyfriend and your niece having a fine time without you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” You sigh, taking a seat between Jungkook and Lily in her seat, “I was trying to write my paper.”

“You’re fine, I changed her and everything,” His eyes are still glued to the TV and you grin.

“Wow, thanks. You’re a good babysitter,” You sigh, dropping your hand into her seat and she grabs one of your fingers, “I guess I should order some takeout, what do you want? Pizza?”

“I wish I could stay baby,” He leans back and sighs, “but I gotta go, Yoongi’s expecting me at the shop, he wants me to finish up a sketch for a client of his.”

“Oh, then I’ll just make something for me,” Your eyes follow him as he gets up, grabbing his keys and scrolling through his phone for a moment, “hopefully Layla will pick her up on time so I can head to Rosie’s,”

“Yeah,” He gently rubs Lily’s little cheek, his hair dangle over her when he leans down to smile at her, “bye Lily, be good for your aunt, okay?”

You giggle. “I didn’t know you were such a softy for babies,”

“She’s cute, kinda makes me want one,” Your expression must’ve looked shocked because he quickly covered himself, “I’m joking, I’m not daddy-material, I can babysit, but my own kid? I don’t think so, we’re both a little too messed up for that,” He just laughs.

“Yeah,” You nervously let out the breath that you unconsciously held. He can’t blame you for your reaction, you’re both young with lives that just don’t work well with stability. And you love Jungkook and he loves you, but jokes like that are merely just that, jokes.

“I’ll see you later,” He leans down to give you a kiss, pressing your lips with a grin.

“Okay,” You withdraw, your smile fading a little but he doesn’t notice. When he leaves, your eyes linger on the door and you swallow. 

You have an aversion to a lot of places he goes, but you have a special dislike for Yoongi’s tattoo shop.

“Lily,” You look at her and sigh, “I guess it’s just you and me.” You switch on some random TV show and sit back, you just hope her mom isn’t late this time.

When he pulls up to the shop, his usual parking space in the back being there just as he expected, he sees Yoongi talking to some girl at the back door. She’s a frail little thing, hair bleached as white at humanly possible, mascara heavy even from this distance, and tattoos covering her legs under fishnet-stockings and very short shorts. He watches as Yoongi talks to her, he looks upset, brows furrowed even under his hair covering them. 

Her eyes are dark and whatever she’s saying is making Yoongi place his hands over his face. She looks like she might be defending herself. After a few seconds, she shows him her middle finger and storms to her car. Pulling out at an ungodly speed. He kindly flips her off and eyes her until she’s out of sight, that’s Yoongi.

Jungkook finally decides to get out of the car and Yoongi leans against the back door, waiting for him to walk over.

“Hyung,” He grabs his art bag and locks his car, letting it beep twice before leaving it, “sorry I’m a little late,”

“You’re fine,” Yoongi sighs, tired eyes gaining a little bit of life when he sees Jungkook, “I’m sure you saw the shit I just had to deal with.” Yoongi opens the door so they can both head inside the well-kept shop, the door shutting behind them.

“I wasn’t gonna mention it,” But he was admittedly curious, “but who was that,”

“A pain in the ass,” An artist he hired about a month ago, she’s got talent but she’s a complete mess, “she was selling dope out of the shop, drawing junkies back here at all times of the day. I’m not letting her fuck up my business, I had to fire her.”

“That’s tough,” Jungkook nods, clearing his throat when he takes a seat at his normal spot in Yoongi’s backroom slash office. “So, the sketch is rough, I’ll refine it and you can tell me if you want to add anything. Who is it for again?” 

“Agh,” Yoongi groans, now deciding to reveal the truth, “I was going to keep it a secret until the last second, but I guess I’ll tell you.”

Jungkook furrows a brow, “Tell me what?”

“It’s for Jimin, he wanted a new tattoo but he wanted the design to be a surprise,” Yoongi shows Jungkook to the area he can sketch at while Yoongi cleans up his needles and wipes off the table, “I told him I’d have it drawn up by my best artist,” He looks at Jungkook, “that’s you.”

“Seriously? In that case, I know exactly how I should finish it, he told me of a tattoo he was looking at not too long ago,” Jungkook smiles, glad he knows the person who’s going to have this tattoo, “it’s small, I imagined it going on the biceps or the ribs maybe? Not sure yet,” He sets up his tools to start finishing the design.

The shop is bustling with clients, artists, like always. Yoongi pretty popular with the underground scene, the punks and rejects seem to gravitate to this place. Including himself. He pops in his earbuds because of the loud conversations going on in the front. 

Without him noticing at first, Yoongi slips out the back door.

After an hour or so, Mingyu, one of the artists walks in and Jungkook takes out an earbud to greet him. He’s got more tattoos than Jungkook and his hair is electric blue and he used to drag Jungkook into all types of stupid stuff. He’s been close to puking out his organs on several occasions—they laughed a lot about it but he never smoked with him after that. 

“Kook, long time no see,” He leans in the door frame, “I saw you at the match last night, you’re always the talk of the night on Tuesday Night Brawls, congrats on your win.”

“Thanks,” Jungkook pushes his hair back, propping his arm on the desk to look at him, “I didn’t see you,”

“I had some activities to attend to so I had to leave early,” Mingyu’s activities probably entailed a female going to who knows where to do who knows what, “I heard you went to Jimin’s for a little party, any fun stories? I didn’t see many groupies with you guys,” 

“Man, I don’t do that shit anymore,” Jungkook goes back to the drawing, “I’m kind of in a relationship,” 

“Oh, me too,” He giggles to himself, “but we like to keep it open, it’s not exclusive, ”

“Mine is,” Jungkook affirms, this bias towards one individual catching Mingyu off guard.

“Aw, someones softened up,” Mingyu nods, “then I guess you probably don’t want to go to Milo’s Club, I have a friend there who’ll hook us up if you know what I mean.”

Milo’s is the spot for avid clubbers of any rank, potheads, college kids—anyone and everyone looking for a good time.

“Ah, I don’t know,” Jungkook shrugs, “maybe,”

“Well, some of us are headed over there when we close up shop in about 30 minutes, if you change your mind feel free to join us,”

Tempting.

Going out wouldn’t hurt, you’ll be at your girlfriend's house so he’d be going home alone anyway, he reasons with himself. As long as he doesn’t get carried away, he can indulge a little bit, can’t he? Yeah, he was just going out like he used to, nothing bad about that.

Layla finally came to get Lily and just as soon as she came you went to the grocery store to get a dessert to bring, you were feeling a little peckish. When you knock on the door, you can hear Rosie’s footsteps approach the door. 

“Hey girl,” Rosie smiles, pulling you in with a relieved sigh, “oh, you brought food?” She peaks into the bag that you take to the kitchen.

“Yup, cheesecake,” You walk into the apartment and see Yuna, and Harmony here to help as well, “thought it’d be nice to have something indulgent.”

“Thank you Y/n,” Yuna speaks up from her wrapping a vase in bubble-wrap, “Rosie is working us to death, we need a reward.”

“I’m sure she is,” You laugh at Rosie defending herself as you open the cheesecake and take out paper plates and forks, “sorry I’m a little late, I was babysitting for a little bit.”

“Aw,” Harmony speaks from her comfortable spot sprawled on the couch, “who’s baby?”

“My sister’s, she needed to meet with her boyfriend, they had to sort some stuff out,” You put generous portions on each plate and brought them with you to the living room, “he’s being stupid.”

“That sucks,” Rosie looks u from her cheesecake, “is it custody thing?”

“I don’t even know, she won’t say,” You find yourself scooping a piece of cheesecake into your mouth, “Oh, I also met Jungkook’s family this morning.”

“How did that go?”

“It was fine,” You sigh, “his little sister called him last night, told him their mom’s appendix had ruptured, and you know him he got super worried and I did too. He doesn’t have a good relationship with his stepdad, they don’t see eye-to-eye on anything. But I think it went okay, his mom and his little sister seemed to like me, the stepdad too.” 

“That’s good, I know you were worried about him letting you in on his family life,”

“Yeah, he even helped me babysit for a little while,” You smile at the thought, “it was really cute.”

“Oh my gosh,” Yuna giggles, “tattooed, earrings, leather boots, and ripped jeans Jungkook with a baby? How cute,” Everyone makes a mental picture of it and their hearts melt, “he seems like the type now that I think about it.”

“I fell asleep and when I woke up, he had changed her and they were on the couch together,” You smile at the thought, “it was sweet. He was talking about how cute she was, he said she made him want one.”

“You’re lucky,” Harmony looks up from her phone, “my ex couldn’t take care of a cactus, let alone a baby.”

“It’s silly, but there’s this thing I have where-...Well, you guys know the stuff I went through with my birth mom, she was a mess. And when she tried to get me back when I was in elementary school, it was a nightmare. Jungkook didn’t have it easy growing up either, it just makes sense that he’d say we’re both too messed up for a kid,” You sigh, “we’re both scarred by our parents. But I still don’t know why he’d say that...” 

The three of them give you an odd look, “Say what? That you’re both too messed up for a kid?”

“Yeah,” You frown “why would he say he wanted on if that’s how he felt about us?”

“He was just being funny and obviously flirting with you,” Rosie shakes her head, “most girls would find that charming,”

“He said he was joking,” You reveal, “but damn, I’m not that messed up...”

“You mean you two have never talked about kids before, not even out of fun as a couple?”

“Well,” You rub your arm, embarrassed that they all think your reaction is ridiculous, “no...Is that a normal thing?”

You’re being ridiculous—is that what they all thought?

“Uh, yeah, Y/n,” Yuna takes everyone's empty plates to the kitchen, “chill, he was just being a guy. Maybe you can talk to him about it-”

“No, it’s not that deep,” You reason, “he went to Yoongi’s shop tonight, where all his up-to-no-good friends are...The people there do a lot of crazy stuff, there’s always some drama. That’s what I hear at least, I’ve never even been there.”

“Yeah,” Rosie chimes in, “but You trust Jungkook,” you assumed it was a question so you nod, “so chill out, and wrap these spatulas. I have to get half of this done before I pick my parents up from the airport in the morning, my mom will go neat-freak if she’s the one helping me.” She laughs, handing you the rags to wrap it in.

You should trust him. 

So why don’t you?

The music is so loud, it almost hurts—but it’s so familiar, he knows the blaring speakers well. All the smells, the people wearing close to nothing just to get a fleeting moment of attention. He was once a happy giver of that attention. Hell, it was happily given to him at one point. As soon as they walked in, Mingyu was whisked away by a beautiful girl and he dragged Jungkook with him.

“Aren’t you glad you joined us?” 

Mingyu simpers, throwing back his second shot before his lips were pulled to the girl's mouth. Her lips were so pink, they were big too and he wondered if they were real. Jungkook just watched, his shot still untouched until he felt the need to down it like his life depended on it and walk-off. The other guys who decided to join were off at the bar and Yoongi went off to a personal room.

Jungkook was standing up against a corner, arms crossed and eyes surveying the room. Unbeknownst to him, there was a girl watching him from the dance floor. She was wearing a skin-tight sequin-covered dress that the lights hit, her eyes were set on a target and she was planning her attack. 

After a few minutes, Mingyu signals Jungkook to follow him into one of the personal rooms, where the magic happens. The purple lights from the ceiling illuminate the room in the dreamiest ways, the leather booths surrounding the room are shiny and comfortable when they sit. 

“San,” Mingyu greets him, taking a seat with that girl still under his arm, “what’d you have for me tonight?”

“The usual. I didn’t know you were bringing a friend,” He looks at Jungkook, surprised to see him here without Jimin, “good to see you, Jungkook. What’ll you be having?”

“Depends,” Jungkook takes a seat across from Mingyu, “I might pass.”

“Oh, come on,” Mingyu removes his hand from the girl's thigh to grab his wallet, tossing him a joint and a lighter, “here, take this and then see how you feel. As for me, San, I’ll take the usual, one for my lady-friend too.”

Jungkook stares down at the thing in his lap, taking it in his hand and using his other to light it. This is harmless, he mentally counsels himself with a deep inhale and slow exhale.

It’s not long before his head is floating and his body is slowly dissipating into thin air. His eyes are half-lidded and he feels good, relaxed, but deep inside there’s a quiet longing—he pushes it down in favor of another puff. Through blurred eyes, he watches Mingyu and the girl take something, he doesn’t know what.

“Now, you know what you want?” San speaks up, standing as if he just came back from somewhere. “It’s on the house, call it a favor for an old friend.”

Jungkook laughs a little bit, seeing that he’s already feeling like he did in high school, sneaking off into clubs to do this. “Give me something mild, I can’t go too crazy,”

“I know just the thing,” While San is going through a case, Jungkook is leaning on his knees, watching to make sure whatever he’s about to take isn’t some heavy-hitter kind of stuff. He pops the pill and sits back to let it take full effect. 30 minutes until euphoria, that’s what he used to say in his mind before consuming this stuff because that’s how long it normally took for hin to really feel it.

Mingyu whispers something to the girl, she tugs down her dress and scurries out of the room with a giddy smile. 

He’s teetering on the edge. So close, too close. The joint he had is still sending vapors in the air from the ashtray, he picks it up and finishes it.

Warm, and a little dazed, his eyes follow Mingyu who’s giving San a wad of cash before the drug dealer runs off. Mingyu’s little friend came back but Jungkook doesn’t register the people she brought with her, he’s high in the clouds right now while scrolling through his phone, wondering what you’re doing. Something smells really good all of a sudden, like flowers soaked in spices. He looks up from the phone and there’s a woman standing in front of him, he furrows his brows. 

“Hi,” She’s standing in front of him, that same girl with the sequin dress and long brown hair, “I’m Kendall, you’re Jungkook right?”

“Yeah,” He stares her down and she takes a seat next to him.

“I hear you’re a boxer,” She’s giving him her full attention, “I bet you’re good,” She puts her hand on his thigh, feeling nothing but hard muscle and she shivers when his legs spread out comfortably.

“I’m okay,” His bland answer doesn’t please her, she places her hand on his shoulders to feel how loose they've become.

“Mh, I can tell you’re more than okay,” She giggles, face getting closer to his. It’s evident that he took something, his pupils are huge and his hand's borderline tremble when she gets close. “your arms look so strong, and your tattoos are so-”

“What do you want?” He deadpans, his body feeling jittery and warm from the effects of the crushed pill.

“Well, I thought we could have a good time,” She boldly moves to sit on his lap, her thighs warm but not right, not yours. “you look like you could use one.”

“I- I can’t,” He pulls her arms from around his neck and pushes her off, causing her to frown.

“What? You have a girlfriend or something?” 

“Yeah,” He leans back once again, legs spread and now irritated that you’re not here for him to sink his finger in, “I’m not fucking that up.”

“You have a wife and kids too?” She bites back. 

He rubs the back of his neck, he’s sweating. “No, but-”

“Then I don’t see a problem,” She kisses him without warning and he doesn’t react quick enough to push her away. There’s a smirk on her face when she pulls back and his doe-eyes lose a bit of their sparkle, “no ring, no rules. That’s how I see it.”

“Don’t,” He pushes his hair back, mind reeling with the need to cuff himself to something so he can’t move. He wipes his mouth, “I can’t mess up what I have because of some whore-”

“Call me what you will,” She cups his jaw with a smile, “but you can’t take lover’s speed without a lover, loosen up.”

* * *

“I think we’re all finished up for tonight girls, thanks for helping me out,” It’s been a few hours and you guys were more focused on the reality TV show than parking the silverware, but you got it done.

“No problem, Ro,” You look down at your phone, it’s getting late.

“Are you sleeping over, Y/n?”

“Um, I can, it is getting kind of late,” You got up to go to the bathroom and the three of them went straight to their phones.

From the couch, Yuna’s eyes go wide and she shows Rosie her phone. Harmony grabs the phone so she can see why they’re looking like they’ve seen a ghost, “Oh my God, is that-” She whispers, “Is that Jungkook?...Does Y/n know-”

“Do I know what?” You walk out of the bathroom, brows furrowing when you hear them trying to be hush-hush. “Why are you guys looking like that?”

“Have you seen Sean’s story?” 

“No,” You frown, “what happened?” You quickly grab Yuna’s phone to see what she’s talking about. At first, you don’t know what you’re looking at until you see it.

It’s a group photo and Jungkook’s in the back, he’s in the back with some girl smothering his face with her own.

“When was this posted?” You ask calmly, biting your lip to keep from throwing the phone out of the window

“20 minutes ago,” Yuna answers, “at Milo’s.”

“Okay,” You give the phone back to Yuna and you grab your keys.

“Y/n, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to that club.”

Rosie stands up with you, “Hold up, we’re going with you.” You tie your converse and the three of them follow you on your hunt.

Don’t do this to me Jungkook,

don’t do this to me.

* * *

“My bitch told me you threw her out, Min, what the fuck?”

“Your bitch was selling coke in my shop, I had to let her go,” Yoongi stands up, “you told me she was good for a job but she was bringing crackheads to my shop.”

“You told me you’d give her a job, you’re telling me you just fired her? Why didn’t you give her a chance? You used to sell-”

“Yeah, I used to. But I don’t anymore.” Yoongi leaves the room.

Meanwhile, Jungkook’s on the other side of the club with a loud group of guys, downing shots like he’s back in college.

“Jungkook,” Yoongi grabs his arm, and his pupils are blown, his cheeks are red, “I’m heading out, can you drive yourself home?”

“Yeah, I’ll be okay,” Jungkook gives him a reassuring look, “I’m good, Hyung, I’m so good.”

“What did you take?” Yoongi looks at him for a moment, not trusting Jungkook to go anywhere himself, “Hey, call yourself a driver, okay?” Yoongi pats his back before leaving the stuffy place.

When he walks out the front door, he could have sworn he saw you pass him with a group of girls. If that’s true, then Jungkook’s in for a world of trouble.

This environment is foreign to you, you’ve been in it before but it’s always been too much, too loud. Your outfit doesn’t help you blend in at all, your gray converse, shorts, and t-shirt are quite contrasting to what the other girls are wearing. Your body is shaking, the people who are shooting you weird looks don’t matter to you, you need to see him.

“There he is,” Harmony points to the corner where Jungkook is leaned up against, he looks like a train-wreck. His hair is so disheveled and he looks jittery, anxious, but he’s smiling. How did he manage to do that to himself in just a few hours, “if you need back up, we’ll be over here.”

You nod, putting your best foot forward to walk a clear path towards him.

Only when you tap his shoulder from behind does he turn around to look at you. The high, the clouds are evaporating and he’s starting to feel the sweat on his brow, I’m sweating? For a moment he thinks you’re a hallucination, there’s no way you’re actually here.

He reaches out to touch you but you slap his hand away. That’s definitely you.

“Y/n,” He rubs the back of his neck, “what are you doing here?”

“Is this what you do when you leave? You come here to cheat on me and do drugs,” You bite your lip, when he just stares at you with dark eyes, “answer me.”

“What’re you talking about?-” You shove your phone into his chest.

“What do you call that, Jungkook? She’s all over you!” Tears start to prick at your eyes but you push it down, you try to. “What are you trying to do to me?”

He stares down at the phone, his chest tingling and heart aching at the sight. It was taken moments before he got up and left, she got on him but he willed himself to leave her. He was out of it, couldn’t really remember any details. “I took something, and I’m not-...” He gives you back your phone, dragging his hands down his face. “I wouldn’t cheat on you, I didn’t-”

“Don’t fucking lie to me!” You yell but the music is so loud, it sounds like you’re speaking at a normal volume. “After everything I’ve done for you, after everything we’ve been through, I can’t believe you would do this to me,”

“Hey, hey, what’s going on?” Some guy with electric blue hair barges into your conversation. “What’s wrong, baby girl?”

You look at him, judging by his looks alone and the way he physically sides with Jungkook, you can piece together that they know each other.

“Um, was I talking to you?” You snap, looking at him as if he just grew a second head.

“No, but you look like you’re giving my friend here a hard time. I’d appreciate it if you calmed the fuck down, no one likes a-”

“And I’d appreciate it if you’d mind your own business. I’m his girlfriend, who the fuck are you?” 

Mingyu cracks a nervous smile, “Oh shit,” He looks at Jungkook who’s finding it hard to stay still, “so, you’re the exclusive. I’m sorry, I may have set him up with a playmate for the night, but can you blame me? You obviously weren’t gonna join him,” He shrugs, “he just wanted to have a good time.”

“Y/n, I took ecstasy, I smoked a little bit, ok? That’s it, I didn’t do anything with that girl,” Jungkook glares at Mingyu, ”she kept coming on to me but it didn’t go anywhere-”

“You’re high, you don’t know where it went.” You turn his face to see red lipstick spotting his skin, “Look at your neck, it went somewhere...”

His hand comes goes there and he remembers the forced kiss before he ran out of the private room. 

“Y/n, please it’s not what it looks like,” He let’s out a grown of frustration, grabbing your wrist, “let’s talk about this somewhere else.”

“No,” You pull away, “don’t touch me,” He grabs continues to pull you towards the direction of the bathroom, “Let go! Let go of me-”

You jerk away and mistakenly bump into a fast-walking individual, he was trying to get Jungkook. Oops.

“Tell Yoongi that’s what it costs,” that’s what you hear and then the guy runs off.

When you hear a scream, it seems like the whole club stops and people start backing away. 

Why are they screaming? 

Only when you feel the wetness dripping down your knee do you realize why they were all looking at you. You stumble, placing your hand on your thigh when Rosie comes running up to you with tears in her eyes, her hands are trembling. “Y/n, oh my God-”

When you look up, Jungkook is shouting so loud that you can hear the strain in his voice and he’s running. There’s blood all over your leg, your leg is shaking.

“We need to put pressure,” One of the girls takes off her flannel and ties it around your leg, “give me a belt, somebody!” 

Some random guy gives her a belt and she wraps it around your leg tight. “Y/n, we’ll take you to the emergency room down the road, we need to get you out of here,” Rosie tries to help you to your feet but you wince, “can you stand? Harmony, help me!”

“Yeah, I think I can- Ouch!” You cry-out when they pull you up a little too fast, “wait, stop! That hurts-”

When they finish, Yuna and Harmony pull your arms to wrap around their shoulders, they look like their struggling. Jungkook suddenly breaks through the crowd of people, hair sweaty and eyes frantically scanning over you. He wants to throw up, but he can’t right now. 

“Give her to me,” Jungkook extends out his arms so he can take you from the girls but Rosie guards you from him with her whole body, “what the fuck? Move,”

“Haven’t you done enough?” She frowns. “We can handle this, why don’t you-”

“Come off it! I’m not about to let you three fucking drag her out of here like this, she’s gonna bleed by the time you get to the fucking door!” He moves Rosie out of the way, “Let me carry her.” Neither of the girls argue when he grabs you from them and lifts you into his arms.

In a matter of seconds, you’re outside and the cool air makes you cringe, holding Jungkook’s shirt tighter in your fist. “You okay?” He whispers, glancing down at you when you give a weak nod.

Yoongi was outside at his car talking and his heart sinks into his stomach when he sees your bloodied leg in Jungkook’s arms. Among the other people leaving the club, you and Jungkook were the last people he thought he’d see. 

“What the fuck happened in there?”

“Some guy was trying to stab me but she got in the way,” Jungkook explains in a panicked tone, “he said to tell you this is what it costs,” When Rosie opens his back seat door, he eases you to lay on the leather seats and gets back there with you.

“We’re taking her to the emergency room,” Rosie answers before closing the front-seats door and cranking the car up.

“Son of a bitch,” Yoongi pulls out his keys and gets in his car. That’s all he says before pulling out of the parking way faster than he should have.

Jungkook is sitting where your legs are so he can keep it propped up, “You’ll be okay,” He pants, the effects of the drug still running it’s course in his system, “does it hurt a lot?”

You nod, stomach-turning at the smell of your own blood. You mumble, “I feel like I’m gonna throw up...” 

He looks down at his hands, tattoos now colored red from your blood. “Me too...”

Jungkook and Rosie brought you inside while the girls waited in the car.

“Excuse me,” Rosie goes to the front desk and Jungkook goes is walking not far behind her, “my friend was just stabbed, does she need to sign in or something? She’s bleeding a lot-”

As soon as Jungkook came into their line of vision, the sight of your bloodied leg kicks them into an urgency.

“Bring her here,” A woman with lilac scrubs says something to a few people before she’s walking Jungkook to the back and directing him to a room, “sit her there, miss, do you feel dizzy at all?”

Jungkook hesitantly lays you on the little bed and two more people come into the room, both dressed in scrubs—he’s asked to step back.

“Just a little,” You bite your lip when they start removing what was covering your wound, it looked as bad as it felt, or maybe it’s just really bloody. They start taking wiping your thigh of the blood that covered it. You look away, not wanting to see the damage. 

“Sir?” A woman finally gets his attention after the third time calling him, when he looks at her, his eyes are a dead give away. That, and the smell of marijuana and liquor on him. “Have you taken anything tonight? You don’t look so good,”

He disregards her question with a question of his own, “...Wh- where’s the bathroom?” 

“Down the hall to your left, but-”

He runs out of the room before she can say anymore and he passes Rosie on his way there.

He bursts inside and locks himself in a stall. Immediately, he falls to his knees and painfully expels whatever he had consumed tonight into the toilet. 

His throat burns and his heart is pounding.

This was always the worst part.

*

* 

*

“So, how long will I need the crutches?” You look at your now-useless leg. “I’m an ice skater, I have competitions to prepare for, and-”

“Two weeks at the very least, but I would recommend no strenuous activity for a month at the least. With how close the wound was to the artery, you’re lucky it’s not longer.” The nurse smiles, probably thinking she was lightening the mood.

It’s just and the nurse, Rosie ran to the restroom and Jungkook hasn’t come back since he brought you here.

“So,” Rosie walks inside, “how long are you on the crutches?”

“Two weeks,” You frown, staring at them from the corner of your eyes, “this would happen to me, wouldn’t it?”

“It could have been anybody,” Rosie sighs, “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Miss, you have a visitor by the name of Min Yoongi, do you want to see him?” 

You nod

After a few moments, she opens the door and Yoongi walks in.

“Y/n,” Yoongi comes to your side, guilt eating him up that he was the cause for this. “I’m sorry this shit had to happen to you, I don’t-”

“It’s not you’re fault, okay? Don’t beat yourself up about it, I shouldn’t have been there...” 

“Did Jungkook leave?”

“He ran to the bathroom earlier, I haven’t seen him since,” Rosie says that with a bite in her tone, and soon enough he’s walking inside the room, “that’s probably for the best, he’s the last person you need right now.”

Get it together.

He cupped water in his hands, swished it in his mouth and spit it out. When his eyes meet the mirror, he wanted to slam into it, shatter into a thousand pieces for bearing his face. He does his best to wipe the blood from his arms and hands with soap water and a napkin. He also wipes the lipstick from his neck, scrubbing at it unnecessarily hard until its gone. Nausea has faded enough for him to stand up and face you. But the thought alone makes him want to disappear. He can’t stay in this bathroom forever, even if that’s what his mind is telling him to do.

“Miss,” the door opens again, “The man from earlier, he said he’s your boyfriend, he wants to see you, are you alright with that?” you hesitate for a moment when you look at Rosie who’s sitting in the chair next to you, you nod.

The woman leaves for a moment and Jungkook walks in, he searches for you as soon as he walks in. He doesn’t acknowledge Yoongi or Rosie. He walks to your bedside and looks at the white bandage wrapped around your thigh.

“What did they say?” He’s not as pale as he was but his eyes are a little red. “Are you okay?”

“She’ll be on crutches for two weeks, but she can’t skate for at least a month,” She turns to Jungkook, “the wound was close to the artery, an inch difference and she would’ve bled out, no thanks to you.”

Silence befalls the room and even though she said that to make Jungkook wake up, Yoongi is the one who feels so bad about it. “I have to go, guys,” Yoongi suddenly speaks up, “feel better, Y/n, I’m sorry about all of this,” It’s not his fault, you remind him of that before he leaves.

“We just need your insurance,” The nurse comes back with a wheelchair within seconds, “the pharmacy you’d like your medicine sent to and you’re all set to go,” She helps you into the chair and rolls you out.

As they check you out, Rosie looks down at her phone, it’s almost two in the morning. You notice she looks tired as you hand them your insurance card, and she still has to pick up her parents in the morning, you don’t feel right keeping her here.

“Ro, go home,” You gently grasp her hand, “you have to pick up your parents in the morning, it’s getting late.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine, thank you for everything, tell the girls I’ll call in the morning,” You know it takes everything in her not to stay but she knows it’s late and even if you’re both pissed at him, he can at least take you home. You get her to agree and you’re left with Jungkook and the nurse as they take you to his car.

“Are you okay, hon?” The nurse asks softly as Jungkook watches her help you into the passengers seat. You know what she means by that. You know how this probably looks to her, it doesn’t look like you’re in a good situation. But you reassure her that he’s going to take you home.

When he gets in the driver's seat and the nurse is back inside the ER, you can feel him staring at you. He swallows, hands gripping the wheel incredibly tight, “Look, I’m sorry this happened, I-”

“Take me home,” You cut him off, looking out of the window with the crutches at your side, “just take me home...”

The drive is quiet. Painfully quiet for him. He pulls into his normal parking space and when he gets out, he comes to your side. 

“Let me help you,” 

That’s the first thing he says to you, hand extended as if you’d actually take it. You’re not skilled with crutches, you shouldn’t have been so persistent on getting and going to the door without his help, but you were.

“I don’t want your help,” You mumble, hobbling inside after he opened the door with his key. He flips on the light and you sit on the couch to try to kick your shoes off, “you should go home,” 

“Y/n, please,” He closes the door behind him, “I know what you saw, I know it looked bad but I didn’t cheat on you.”

“Yeah, but you let some slut put her hands on you,” You forget trying to take off your shoes and you use your crutches to try to get to your room, “y’know, if you wanted to break up with me you could’ve just said it. If I’m not enough for you, you should have just told me.”

“You know you’re enough for me, don’t even talk like that. I don’t want to break up, why the fuck would I want that?” He follows you into your bedroom, easily catching up because you can’t get anywhere fast now. 

“I wasn’t thinking straight, but my mind was clear enough to know we didn’t have sex,” He’s in your face, “I’m sorry that it looked that way, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”

“No, don’t tell me what you think I want to hear,” You sit on your bed, again trying to kick-off your shoes but failing miserably, “just leave me alone.”

“You can’t even take your own fucking shoes off, you need help,“ He kneels down and you don’t fight when he takes them off for you, “don’t you trust me?”

You scoff, grabbing your crutches and trekking to your bathroom to get away from him, “Why should I,” You attempt to close the door but he stands in the doorway, “let go of the door.”

“No,” He’s getting upset now, you can feel it in the way each word leaves his mouth like a curse, “stop walking away! I fucking love you, that’s why you should trust me.”

“Wow, with a reason like that,” You let out a sarcastic laugh, standing in your bathrooms doorway. “I guess I should forget everything that happened tonight, huh?”

He rubs his temples, the headaches he’s had from an hour ago now acting up. “You know what? If you didn’t have trust issues, you could see that I’m telling you the truth, I swear to god I didn’t do anything.”

“I know I have trust issues,” You’re sick of standing in the bathroom, “after all the times I’ve been screwed over, you’ve given me plenty of reasons not to trust people.” You move past him, bumping into his shoulder.

“Hey,” He tries to grab you but hobble away from him and towards your bed, “would you stop walking away?! I’m trying to talk to you!” When he sees that you’re close enough to your bed, he takes the crutches from you and sits them on the floor behind him. 

“What the hell?-” Your mouth hangs open in shock as you grapple to hold on to him so you don’t fall. “Why would you do that!” 

“That was the only way I could stop you from walking away.” He towers above you, height and large frame reminding you that he can overpower you easily. “Don’t you see I’m being honest? Tell me why you’re acting like this.”

“You know I was hurt in my last relationship. Do I really have to spell it out for you? I dated for months before I realized I was being played. I couldn’t see what was happening right in front of my face, do you know how that felt? I felt so stupid,” You squeeze his arms, “I swore I’d never let anyone make me feel that way again.” 

He breathes in and out, trying not to fall apart at your teary confession, he chants in his mind, don’t cry, don’t cry.

“I can’t go through that again, I love you...” You hold on to him, leg throbbing and tears falling down your cheeks in single drops, “Don’t make me look stupid for loving you.”

That hurt. 

“I won’t,” he wishes he had stayed home—he wishes he would have stayed with you. “I won’t, I promise I won’t.”

You gasp when his hands cup your face and he kisses you, open mouth sealing over yours without warning. You fall victim to this every time, you try to listen to the voice in your head that tells you to push him away, but how could you? You grab at his wrists to keep your self grounded and he holds you tighter, making you breathe nothing but him. His mouth goes bone dry and he feels sweat dripping down his back, he’s burning up and his heart is beating out of his chest.

“Jungkook,” You manage to breathe out, and you plop down on the bed, “you’re sweating like crazy.”

“I’m sorry, I feel like I’m gonna pass out,” Suddenly, he rips off his shirt and tosses it somewhere, now revealing the sheen of sweat that’s been under his shirt.

“Are you okay?...What you took, have you ever taken it before?...” Worry shakes your voice.

“Yeah, this used to happen sometimes, give me a second,” He disappears into the bathroom and you hear the water turn on. Somehow, you managed to stumble over to the bathroom with the help of the wall. Jungkook is standing at the shower, the water on cold as he dunks his upper body under it with a groan of relief.

You watch as he grabs a towel from the rack and dries his face and hair. You watch as he dries the water off his body, face still red but he looks better.

“I’m sorry, this is one of the reasons I stopped using that shit,” He sits the towel on the counter, heavy ids landing on your frame in the doorway. For the first time, he sees the bandage on your leg in his right mind and it pains him. 

Noticing that you weren’t using the crutches he threw away earlier, he comes to your aid. “Your leg, don’t stand with it like that, you need to have it propped up,” For the second time tonight, he picks you up and carries you to you out of the bathroom. “It must hurt.”

“It does,” You hesitantly unwrap your arms from his neck and he lays you down, “it hurts a lot.” With expectant eyes, you watch him circle around your bed to get to your drawers. He pulls out a shirt and some shorts, sitting them besides you.

“I’m sorry,” He mutters, handing you the shirt so you can put it on while he helps replace your bloodied ones, “I wish he would have stabbed me, I fucking deserved it, not you.” He’s absolutely right.

His hand rests on the bandage and he looks up at you, eyes so tired. Reaching over you, he takes one of your pillows and props it under your leg, making sure it's elevated at a comfortable angle. He sits on the edge of the bed, one arm across your body, his eyes shutting when he presses his forehead to yours. Desperately, he kisses you again. His damp hair dangles on your forehead and his necklace drapes over your neck the more he leans down, its cool on your skin. His warm body engulfs you, his sheer heaviness making you weak. He has a special ability to surround your senses and drown you in his energy, and you sink happily.

“I’m sorry,” He whispers, “I hate that we always end up like this, I shouldn’t put us through this...” Brushing your hair away from your face, he leans, in his nose a tinge red and his eyes teary, “but when I’m with you-...When I have you, I don’t have to see myself anymore and it feels right. I hate myself without...” Tears stream down his cheeks and a few drop on your cheeks. His chest heaves against you when he shakily breathes in. He drops his head in your chest like a child and starts to cry. 

“Jungkook,” You run your fingers through his hair and your eyes get misty when a pained whine leaves his mouth. 

 “I-” he hiccups against your t-shirt. “I’m sorry that this is what it cost to love me, but I’m not shit without you. I’m nothing with you...”

Sitting here, patching myself up, crying over what's left, 'cause without you I ain't shit, but no pressure. Guess I gotta learn my lesson.

[yoonjinkooked]

Daddy Day Care | Chapter 4

pairing; jungkook/female OC

genre; fluff, romcom, smutty in the future, Dad!Jungkook rating; explicit (IN FUTURE CHAPTERS ONLY, not yet) words; this chapter 5001 (lol), total so far (18.547) Ch 1 / Ch 2 / Ch 3

— synopsis; Jeongguk is your average 25-year-old - job, work, friends - everything regular. Except, he has a 5 year old daughter. And he’s single. Until a “princess” waltzes into his life.

warnings for this chapter: You still very much want to have Jungkook’s children. Cursing & Banter. Traces of Jinslut. JK is hopeless. You’re going to want to punch and hug him at the same time. Unable-to-flirt and struggle-to-adult Jungkook. A/N: PLEASE have mercy on me if there are any mistakes, English has been kicking my ass lately. Hope you enjoy. Sorry it took me this long. Let me know what you think, my ask is always open <3

It took no less than 10 minutes for me to see and understand why Eunmi is as whipped for Gayoon as she is. See, when you’re five, adults seem so cool, so serious, so grown up. Parents are parents, even if they are cool, they are simply not cool enough. If there is an adult in the mix that is old enough for it to be WOW to a five year old and also doesn’t have the responsibility of being the parent – jackpot.

Eunmi was acting like she and Gayoon are attached by the hip and Gayoon just played along with it. Even when Eunmi wanted to show her every single toy she has, even when she took her by the hand and dragged her away to show her every possible corner of the apartment. What would normally at some point become annoying to anyone, even me as her father, Gayoon took like a champ and not only played along, but actually seem interested. Hell, she even asked Eunmi questions.

She’s a natural and I can see why she’s Eunmi’s favorite teacher. I’m also suddenly very glad Yuki insisted that we pay an insane tuition for Eunmi to go to a private kindergarten.

And the little one did not hold back – she clung onto Gayoon like a koala. So much so that I got a heavy case of second hand embarrassment with how clingy she was being. I’m just glad she’s five – no matter what she does, ‘she’s five’ is always an excuse to get us out of any mess.

Two hours from the moment we stepped into the apartment and one impromptu tea party with stuffed animals, Eunmi managed to doze off, despite the excitement she had been feeling the entire day. Her words were dragged and her eyelids were barely open but she still refused to nap – until her head fell down onto Gayoon’s lap, her lips open and eyes shut.

“Let me help you with that,” I smile at Gayoon, keeping my voice low and my hands gentle as I pick Eunmi up, very careful not to move her around in my arms too much. She normally sleeps like a log but I can’t risk it – if she wakes up not only will she be cranky but she will probably refuse to sleep again. Not that it would do her much good, seeing as her eyes simply refused to stay open.

“Wait, let me help you,” Gayoon whispers as she gets up from the couch, walking in front of me to open the door of Eunmi’s room for me to walk through. I put Eunmi down on the bad, smiling when I notice her signature nose scrunch – for a second, I freeze, scared that she will wake but it turns out to be a false alarm. Very gently, I tuck her in and put her favorite teddy bear underneath her arm. Gayoon closes the door after me, smiling at Eunmi. “She is beyond cute.”

“I know,” I smile stupidly, unable to ignore the urge to gush about how adorable Eunmi actually is. “She is a little cutie but she already has a temper,” I add.

“No,” she laughs and shakes her head as we make our way back to the couch. “I don’t think she does. I suppose she can be a bit tricky but you have no idea how bad the other kids can be,” she tells me, giving me a pointed look as she reaches for her cup of hot chocolate – hot chocolate she had to help me with because I nearly burnt it. “There’s a reason Eunmi is one of my favorites.”

“Is she good to others?” I ask, making Gayoon look at me in confusion. “I mean, I’ve never heard anything about her fighting with other kids but… is it really like that or do teachers just say that to make parents relax and don’t ask stupid questions?”

“Oh boy,” she chuckles, smiling at me. Yeah, that’s the kind of smile that makes me swallow a lump when it’s directed at me. “It’s really like that. We wouldn’t lie, at least I wouldn’t. It’s important for parents to know what their kid is actually like, even if that means that they sometimes hear something they’d rather not know of. You have no reason to worry, though. Eunmi is a proper sweetheart and she’s nice to everyone. She’s also not a pushover, so don’t worry – she would hold her ground if need be.”

“Good,” I breathe a sigh of relief. “You’d think that after five years, I’d be sure of myself and of what I’m doing but most days… I swear I’m more like a headless chicken than a fully functioning adult,” I admit.

“Oh come on, we all have our headless chicken moments,” she reassures me, a smile still plastered on her face. “She’s your only child, it’s not like you have experience of raising one. I’d say both you and her mother are doing a good job. Both in general and in your circumstances.”

“What circumstances?” I ask, noticing that she suddenly looks uncomfortable. She’s looking away and her face is the face of someone who said something they shouldn’t have said. “If you’re referring to us being young, we’re well aware of that,” I laugh.

“It’s not that,” she shakes her head. “You’re young, of course you know that. But it’s one thing to have a teacher of your daughter point it out in a way that might sound condescending, even though it isn’t.”

“Don’t worry, I truly didn’t take it that way,” I tell her. And I mean it. “I was just confused as to which circumstance you’re referring to, us being young or separated, because both are quite specific circumstances and both are very much true.”

“Age can mean something, in my opinion, but it’s definitely not a rule,” she tells me. “Like I’ve said before, we can all be headless chickens every now and then. And as for the two of you being separated, I will let you know that my mother raised Jimin and myself all on her own, since Jimin was three and I a baby. So yeah, circumstances be damned.”

“That’s quite impressive,” I nod. I never knew that Mrs. Park was a single mom but then again, I had no clue Jimin was her son either, and I just recently saw Gayoon for the first time, so I probably shouldn’t be surprised how little I know about Mrs. Park’s family tree. “You’re one of the few people that actually don’t appear all judgy and mighty. I’ve gotten used to it by now – half the parents of Eunmi’s classmates look at me like I’m a high schooler or something.”

“Jeongguk… more often than not, you or Eunmi’s mother pick her up from kindergarten before other parents do. You both pick her up early to try and spend more time with her. Some of those kids stay in the kindergarten until five, six PM. I understand that many of those parents have jobs and obligations but so do you. And yet you still do it. If I were you, I wouldn’t worry too much about what they think.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you are just a nice person?” I ask.

Fuck, verbal diarrhea. Why did I say that? It is true, I’m not denying that but why did I say it? I could have just said thank you or something like that. Well, at least I didn’t say that she’s the nicest person on the planet – it could have been worse.

“I’m not gonna lie, I have heard it before,” she laughs. “But it’s always a good thing to hear. And you seem pretty nice too.”

“Even with a daughter that clings onto you like a koala?” Jesus Christ, Jeon Jeongguk, shut the fuck up!

“Well, if you don’t mind me being honest, she’s the best part,” I laugh at her comment. She’s not wrong – Eunmi is the best part of me. She’s the best thing I’ve ever done and pretty much the only thing in my life I am genuinely and completely proud of. If someone thinks she’s the best thing about me, I’ll gladly take it.

“I’m sorry we kidnapped you for the whole of Christmas Day,” I tell her, feeling guilt rise again. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t expecting to stay at our place for three hours and counting. “I’m sorry if we ruined some plans for you. I’m an idiot who forgets his wallet everywhere he goes and Eunmi didn’t want to let go of you.”

“No, it’s okay,” she shakes her head, smiling with that adorable, small smile that makes me swoon and want to punch something at the same time. “I was literally working back at the kindergarten. We had a family lunch and we all went our separate ways. The only plan I had was Netflix and food. I got cake, Super Mario and a tea party, so I would say the day was quite fruitful.”

“Would you like to add some wine into the mix too? Eunmi seemed pretty knocked out, we can be adults until she wakes up?” I suggested.

Perfect, you fucking fucktard idiot person! You are literally asking your daughter’s kindergarten teacher to get drunk with you in your apartment while your daughter is sleeping in the next room. Are you absolutely out of your mind? She’ll run and probably get Eunmi expelled or something.

“That sounds like a great idea,” she surprisingly agrees. “I’ll just call Jimin to let him know he should take a taxi when he leaves for home so that he can drive me and my car back home.”

“Perfect.”

  For a usually quiet person, I realize that I am surprisingly chatty with her. In the little I’ve known Gayoon, she always seemed like a good listener. She would listen carefully, nodding along and looking directly at you, asking you questions when you pause for a breath. We had red wine and talked just about anything and everything until Eunmi woke up. Before we ended up playing Super Mario, we talked about her, about how difficult it is to raise kids, how difficult it is to work with kids, how I never thought I’d end up being an office worker and how Gayoon was positive she would end up opening a bakery.

Hours passed in good fun and before we knew it, it was Eunmi’s bedtime and of course, my daughter had to backstab me and refuse my offer to read her a story and saying she’d rather have Gayoon read it for her. I got a pat on the back from Gayoon, probably because I looked and felt like a kicked puppy, before she agreed to read her a story.

I was leaned on the door, listening to the two of them talk about princess and mermaids, because not a single page could go by without Eunmi asking both related and unrelated questions.

The teacher in Gayoon was present – well, either that or the fact that she actually does seem like a genuinely good person. She clicked with Eunmi so well, I could feel my heart swell.

I have only ever seen Yuki acting this way with her. Perhaps Byulyi and Hyejin, occasionally, but never anyone else. She… she seemed almost motherly. After having random girls run from me because I’m a father, run from me as if I am the plague itself, it’s quite shocking to see someone not doing the same thing. Of course, the context is different – Gayoon hasn’t shown a particular interest to get into my pants, nor have I shown interest to get into hers, at least I don’t think so. The context is different but it still feels so damn nice to see someone being so good with Eunmi.

I don’t move from my place until Gayoon does, moving gently to tuck Eunmi in and smiling up at me as I turn off the lights and make my way back to the living room. She closes the door carefully, quietly and smiles at me again. “I hope this wasn’t too much – I just can’t say no to her.”

“Of course it wasn’t,” I shake my head immediately. “Thank you. Thank you for doing that. Whenever she’s not with Yuki, I feel as if I’m not… you know, doing it well.”

“Please,” she rolls her eyes. “You’re much better at this than I am. Being a teacher and nice to kids is nothing more than my job – this is the role of your lifetime and you’re playing it perfectly, from what I’ve seen so far.”

“It’s almost sickening how nice you are.”

She bursts into laughter, quickly covering her mouth, not wanting to wake the little one up. I was wrong when I thought her smile is the most charming thing about her – now that I heard genuine, surprised and uncontrolled laughter, even if for a second, I know this one takes the cake.

For someone her age, our age, she sure does have a childlike laughter. And I’m pretty sure I’m staring at her now. Good work, Don Juan! How very smooth of you!

“I’m not that nice,” she shakes her head. “But I do have to say that… Oh!” she hurries to answer her phone, pulling it out of her pocket in the speed of light before the ringtone manages to wake Eunmi up. I even manage to recognize the ringtone. I pull the song out from the old, forgotten, punk brain of mine – The Ramones, ‘She talks to rainbows’. Of all the songs I expected to hear coming from her phone, this was not the one. “Yeah. Yeah. I’ll be down,” she ends the call. “Jimin’s waiting for me.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, thank you for bringing me my wallet. And staying with us. And playing with Eunmi. And talking to me. And reading her a story. Yeah, thank you for everything, I guess.”

Nice work, Romeo. Smooth talker, that’s what you are. Smooth fucking criminal.

“Stop thanking me,” she laughs as she moves towards the hallway, grabbing her purse and jacket from where I hanged them earlier. “I had fun. It’s safe to say we’re friends now – and friends do spend time with each other and their kids. And they give each other cake and bring each other lost wallets, so stop thanking me so much.”

“In that case, thank you for a lovely day.”

Okay, that actually was smooth.

“Hmm,” she narrows her eyes at me. “I’ll take that one.”

Before I could say anything or think about the position of my hands, she hugs me. I am completely frozen for a moment, before I realize that I have less than a second to react before she pulls away and this turns more awkward than it already is. So I hug her back, tapping her shoulder with my hand. She smiles as she pulls away and my face is probably nothing more than a painful grimace.

“I’ll see you around,” she smiles. “If you ever need a babysitter, you know my number.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I chuckle. “Merry Christmas Gayoon.”

“Merry Christmas Jeongguk.”

I stand at the door as she walks down the hallway, waving like a complete idiot even though she doesn’t turn around – I’m waving and she doesn’t even see it. I shake my head, snapping out of it and closing the door before she has a chance to see me standing here like a complete idiot.

I close the door, lock it and bang my head on it, hard enough for it to be painful, faint enough to keep Eunmi asleep and Gayoon unaware.

I think I’m in the beginning stage of having a crush on my daughter’s kindergarten teacher.

  “Could you at least try to pretend like you’re having a good time?”

The problem is, I did. For a good half hour, I looked like the very gif of The Office’s Michael Scoot gritting his teeth and looking as awkward as possible. For half an hour I did my very best to look as if I am having the time of my life.

The truth is, I don’t remember the last time I felt as uncomfortable as I do now. Seokjin insisted that I should not be alone on New Year’s Eve, which is exactly why I ended up following him to what he called the hottest club in town. Him and six of his best mates, most of whom I’ve known for years, but in passing, as I never really wanted to be a part of their sausage fest. Which is exactly what I am now.

Seven men and me, as bored and as uncomfortable as I could possibly be.

They come here with a goal – get drunk and get laid. And I just want to be home, in my sweatpants, eating ramen and playing Super Mario or finally catching up with Black Mirror. Literally, every possible scenario that includes me staying at home is better than the current situation.

My brain is one generic EDM song away from turning into pudding and my stomach is one fruity drink away from giving up on everything. I’m a stay-at-home, beer-drinking kind of guy. This is not my place.

So, to answer Seokjin’s question – no, I can no longer even try to pretend like I’m having a good time.

“I’m sorry,” I sigh, watching him shake his head in disappointment. While I know he’s joking, I also know that my mood is affecting his and the last thing I want to do is ruin his night – New Year’s Eve, of all nights. I don’t want to be that person, I hate to be that person but I can’t fight it. “It’s just not my scene.”

“You always adapted before. This isn’t your first rodeo,” he tells me and honestly, he’s right. I used to go out with him before and while it was never my favorite thing to do, I could handle it.

“I don’t know, I think I just have too much on my mind,” I yell, in order to overpower the bass.

“You’re thinking about your girl?” Seokjin yells back at me.

“No,” I shake my head. “I mean, I always think about her but it’s the way it is – I had her for Christmas, Yuki has her for New Year’s Eve. It’s the fairest deal possible.”

“I’m not talking about Eunmi,” Seokjin laughs. “I’m talking about her teacher. You know, the girl you’re crushing on?”

I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to tell Seokjin about it. I guess I expected advice, seeing as he’s my big brother and a ladies man extraordinaire. Instead of a good, solid piece of advice or even a rude wakeup call while reminding me that she is my daughter’s teacher, I just got laughed at. I called him the same night Gayoon left my apartment, and since then, not a day has passed without him mentioning it in a way that could appear humorous to anyone but me.

“Seokjin, I’ve told you, I am not crushing on her.”

“No, you just like her,” he corrects me and leans over to yell directly into my ear. “Look, you are making questionable choices because you can’t even remember the last time you had anything with any woman. You’re over Yuki and you’re not ready for commitment again but you need to get yourself out there and do something because crushing on your daughter’s teacher is not a common storyline. Find someone else to crush on before you and your ex need to change your daughter’s kindergarten!”

God, he’s right. Yuki will kill me if we have to change Eunmi’s kindergarten and judging by the way Eunmi seems to be attached to her friends and even Gayoon herself, she’d kill me to. I’d rather wait for her teenage years before I hear the first “I hate you” from her.

“Or, if you’re really hung up on her, ask her out,” Seokjin completely changes his story. “Just pick a side. Either grow a pair or take your pick,” he waves his hand around, as if he’s showing me all that the club has to offer. Outside the sausage fest we are in, the club really is full of girls our age, most of them in a pack with other girls, very probably looking for a hook up, the same way all of Seokjin’s friends know that if all goes according to plan, not a single one of them will be going home alone.

It’s like watching National Geographic or something. Two packs of opposite genders eyeing each other from different sides of the club, picking their pray and getting all hyped up before they strike. Words of encouragement shared, pats on the shoulders, a few giggles here and there and the plan is set in motion. Of course, not all is a hunting field – there are packs that are here just to have fun. I can see a group of laughing and dancing people who are…

“Holy shit, that’s her!” I all but yell, pointing to the dance floor.

“Her who?” Seokjin looks around.

“Gayoon, Eunmi’s teacher.”

For a second, I am sure that I am imagining things but as I watch her throw her head back while laughing, I am positive that it is Gayoon – it’s just not the Gayoon I saw a few days ago. This Gayoon has fairly shorter and curly hair – she had pretty long hair the other day. And this Gayoon is definitely not wearing the casual clothes Gayoon from the other day was wearing – unless a tight, black dress can count as casual. I’m a guy – what do I know?

“Wait, which girl are you talking about?” Seokjin asks as he leans into me, wanting a better view.

“Shoulder length hair, black dress.”

“Holy shit!” he yells and for a second, I forget we’re in a night club and my blood freezes, thinking that Gayoon must have heard him. “That’s Eunmi’s teacher?! No wonder you’re dying to live out a teacher kink!”

“She’s not MY teacher, you idiot!” I smack him on the shoulder, making him laugh out loud. I’m not laughing – this is becoming too much. “It’s not like that.”

“Looking at her, it should be like that,” Seokjin comments.

“You don’t get it,” I shake my head – of course Seokjin would not get it. He’s been in love once and after that particular train wreck, he hasn’t bothered looking for anything other than easy sex. “Yeah, she’s pretty and yeah she’s hot but she’s actually nice and friendly and most importantly, good with Eunmi.”

“You don’t know what you want,” Seokjin shakes his head.

“Yeah, because I can’t develop a proper interest into someone after like… a few hours spent with them! Just as I don’t want to have a one night stand with my daughter’s teacher! Of course I don’t know what I want – I might not even want anything and am just confused! I don’t know what I want and it would be very weird if I did!” I yell over the music.

“Well, I think she knows what she wants,” he nods his head and when I look back to Gayoon, I can see what he means – she’s definitely closer to one of the guys in her group than she was just seconds ago. They are dancing together, they’re bodies almost completely pressed together, his hands on her hips as they sway together, much too slow for the beat that’s threatening to make my brain explode.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Go there! Say hi! Talk to her! Dance with her! Get to her before he does!” he tries to push me away from our booth but I stay frozen, shaking my head.

“Nah, I just told you. I don’t know what I want and judging by that,” I wave my hand to her and the guy she is dancing with. “It’s a bit too late anyways.”

I have no right to sulk, I know that very well. Not once did Gayoon show any signs of being interested in me in any way other than a teacher-parent one, perhaps a friendly one too. She did not flirt, she did not say anything that would make me wonder if it has a double meaning and let’s not forget about the crushed mistletoe. Not to mention that I haven’t done anything either – of course I didn’t, I just think I might kind of like her.

I have no right to sulk at the sight of her expressing interest in another man and even though I try to fight it, I know I end up pouting, sitting in the booth and glaring towards them, sipping on the shitty cocktail Seokjin insisted on buying for me.

“You’re a complete idiot,” is Seokjin’s conclusion he reaches while looking at me in disappointment.

“Maybe I am.”

  15 minutes after the clock strikes midnight and the whole club drunkenly yells New Year’s greetings – that’s the time limit I’ve given myself. Long enough to not seem rude, just enough to not lose my mind.

“You’re actually leaving?” Seokjin once again looks disappointed. As bad as I feel, he had it coming. He knew I was not going to enjoy myself, he knew this is not my scene in any way. As bad as I feel for leaving him, one – I know he won’t miss me and 2 – he should be the one to feel bad for dragging me out to begin with.

“I handled it for as long as I could. Happy New Year, brother,” I pat him on the back and make my way through the ocean of bodies, towards the exit. I don’t look back, not to Seokjin, not to Gayoon.

I made a point of not looking her way for as long as I have been in the club – staring at her just seemed a bit too creepy, especially given that she was obviously pretty close to hooking up with the guy she was dancing with. It felt creepy, wrong and uncomfortable – so I decided to simply not look her way while I was there. I doubt she saw me but if she did, she made no move to approach me.

Outside, the weather and the atmosphere is hellish – snow started falling again and I obviously wasn’t the only one with the thoughts of leaving early – one by one, groups of people were getting into lined up taxis, while others were waiting for the next ones to drive by. Imagining the price I’ll have to pay for the drive back home on New Year’s Eve felt like a punch to the gut.

“Jeongguk?!”

Oh crap.

I want to hide, I really do. Maybe it would be believable if I don’t respond? It’s pretty crowded, I think I can play it off as if I hadn’t heard her. “Jeongguk!” her voice is raised now, as she is obviously certain that she’s not imagining things. I can’t hide.

I turn around, pretending to look confused and I see her walking my way, still in that short sleeved dress, looking as if she’s freezing her butt of, but still smiling at me. She even has blue highlights in her hair. I don’t know what happened to Gayoon from the other day.

“Oh! Hi! Hey! Happy New Year!” I sound like an idiot to myself but really, what else can I do?

“Happy New Year!” she beams up at me as she stops a few feet away. “Were you here the whole night?”

“Yeah, my brother dragged me out,” I roll my eyes. “I am escaping now. You’re leaving too?” I ask, noticing that the guy she was dancing with doesn’t seem to be around.

“No, not yet – I’m here with Jimin and a group of our friends, I can’t leave without them,” she explains. “I just thought I needed a bit of fresh air, after one too many tequila shots,” she adds, although she doesn’t appear to be drunk at all. “In hindsight, stupid idea – it’s freezing.”

“What happened to… No, never mind,” I stop myself at the last moment.

“What happened to what?”

“No, nothing.”

“Jeongguk, don’t be that person,” she laughs. “I hate it when people do that. Spill it.”

“What happened to cold never bothering you anyway?” I utter my lame joke, watching as she frowns in confusion – it takes her a moment to realize what exactly I’m referring to but when she finally connects the dots, she seems equally amused and pissed.

“I hate you,” she tries to sound serious but I can tell she’s fighting off a smile.

“You set yourself up for that one,” I laugh. We might not be friends now, hell, we might not even be friends in the future, but after our meeting, I am forever entitled to make Frozen jokes on her expense.

“The price I pay,” she sighs before smiling again. “Anyways, I’d better go inside before I turn into Olaf,” it’s a bad joke but I still laugh – that’s what she’s making me do now. I’m laughing at fairly stupid jokes. This isn’t good. “I’ll see you around. Happy New Year Jeongguk.”

“Happy New Year Gayoon,” I smile, waving at her once before she wobbles back inside the club, still trying to keep herself warm with her arms wrapped around her body – she’s right, it was stupid to go outside in this weather without a jacket. I should have offered her mine.

On the drive back to my place, I stare through the window and watch all the drunk, well-dressed people stumbling around, laughing, hugging one another. I watch and wonder when that stopped being me. I wonder if even I miss that being me.

The only conclusion I could come up with is that maybe Seokjin was right after all. Maybe I am a complete idiot.