#she's gonna eat you kirsty

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

So I found a book where danish kids has been asked their views about children and birth. Here’s some highlights

”Sometimes you’re yellow in the face when you’re newborn…” - Barbara, 6

”… it’s not the child that gets {yellow}, the dad is.” - Mohammed, 7

”It’s fun when mom gives birth, because then you get McDonalds with your dad.” - Rasmus, 6

”My little sister was born too early. So dad hadn’t been able to do the dishes.” - Rikke, 8

”Vera’s dad left when she was born. But I think they’re still looking for him.” - Christian, 7

”The dad is really nervous and sit and talk all the time. That’s why he can’t be at the birth.” - Kirstie, 8

”The dad can’t tickle the baby when it has just come out. Because it can happen it (the baby) is not used to it.”

”When you’re born, you come to a place where you can breathe. I haven’t gone there yet.” - Rebecca, 6

”I know twins that look alike. Only that the other one is 10 minutes bigger than the other.” - Emil, 8

”If the babies drink the same milk they become twins.” - Mathias, 8

”If they get two kids at once and mom can’t birth both, the dad can give birth to one.” - Rikke, 6

”If the mom doesn’t notice she got three kids then it’s just to remove two.” - Emil, 7

”It doesn’t matter if babies play on the road, because they’re so small cars can’t run over them.” - Alexander, 8

”When you have a little baby you need to make sure it doesn’t smell. Or else the dad will never want to kiss it” - Lotte, 8

”When the baby is born, the mom shouldn’t forget to buy a bra” - Katrine, 8

”You can’t forget to feed the baby, or else it becomes too thin and the intestinals won’t fit.” - Carl, 7

”If the baby has done something really good you need to complement it. Even if it smells.” - Lucas, 7

”Babies need pacificers, or else they’ll make a giant big hickey on the mom.” - Sofie, 8

”When the baby gets home you can’t forget to buy saturday candy* to them and put them in a lot of diapers.” - Maj Beate, 7

*I don’t know how many countries this is a thing in but in the Nordic countries, to make kids not eat too much candy all the time, it’s often common to only let them eat candy on saturday. This is not a rule like an american tiktoker once made it seem like it was, but rather just something parents tell their kids so they don’t eat too much sugar all the time. Every nordic kid has the experience of walking inside the room in the middle of the week and find your parents eating candy, and exclaim ”BUT IT’S NOT SATURDAY?!”

”When the baby is small you should buy a bed with tree trunks with holes in them, so they can look out” - Fadi, 8

”You can’t forget to buy a little hook so the baby can’t get out and make a mess everywhere.” - Bjørn, 6

”The baby can’t drink from a glass when it’s newborn. That’s why the mom pours it in her breast” - Philip, 6

”It doesn’t matter if the kids eat at Makke Donnas*. If you just take away the pickle it’s pretty healthy.” - Rebecca, 6

*I think she means McDonalds but this is how a danish child would pronounce it. My brother pronounced it similarly and we’re swedish. But Makke Donnas might be an actual place in Denmark what do I know

”It doesn’t matter if the child drinks coca cola - it helps when you’re hurt.” - Rasmus, 6

”A tree is called tree. A chair is called chair. Pregnant is called pregnant and that’s why my name is Laura.” - Laura, 7

”It’s only in Vietnam and in poor countries that children should work. In Denmark they shouldn’t, cause we’re millionaires.” - Maj Beate, 7

”I’m gonna go to the cinema and watch ’the ringer of Nutella’*. But I don’t know who to go with. Cause it’s forbidden.” - Nikolaj, 5

*I think he means the hunchback of notre dame, in some translations the title is ”the ringer of notre dame” instead.

”If I have kids I won’t give them a blue eye*. Cause that shows on you.” - Sofus, 7

*They mean it like they’re gonna punch them so their eye gets a bruise, not that their eye color would be blue

”I think it’s ok to get grounded if you have set fire on the pillows.” - Kim, 9

”You have to be nice to your child by asking them to take the trash out in a kind way.” - Maria, 6

[satans-helper]

Reaching for Stardust - Part XII

Read Looking for Space here / Playlists / Read RFS on Wattpad

Word Count: ~3k

Warnings: none

A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay. I've been really sick for the past week with no end in sight and have been pretty useless as a result. I didn't want to fall behind in writing, but I also shouldn't leave this hanging any longer. Hope y'all are still enjoying <3

---

“We’re really cramming a ton of stuff into just a few months,” I said to Josh as he packed an overnight bag for another Detroit trip. “Halloween, these bachelor and bachelorette parties, Thanksgiving, Danny’s birthday, Christmas, bridal party, New Years, our wedding. When will it end?” Halloween had passed–blissfully, thankfully. We’d all gotten together for an old-school costume party which, thankfully, Kirsti had hosted. I’d been grateful to feel young again though my sister wasn’t much older than I was. Still, her friends were all the “real” adults I’d imagined myself being when I was a child, with big-people jobs, their own houses, new cars, kids and spouses. At least I was soon going to check one of those things off the list and Josh had his big-person job already. 

“Well, my love, it will never end,” Josh told me while he folded a pair of pants. “Life is a series of wonderful adventures, holidays and surprises.”

“It’s a lot,” I replied.

Josh looked at me and frowned a little. “Are you stressed? This is supposed to be a fun night for you. I want you to have fun.”

“No, no, I’m excited,” I insisted, which was the earnest truth. “A chill sleepover with the girls is honestly just what I want. I can’t even remember the last time any of us did that.”

The frown turned to a smile. “Are you going to gossip about all of us?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

The smile grew even brighter, Josh’s entire face lighting up. No matter the season, no matter how dark the sky became, he always had such a beautiful glow about him. “Good. What are you going to eat?”

“Junk food. Lots of it,” I said, reaching for a shirt that was lying on the bed to fold myself. “No bar food for us.”

“I already know I’m going to–” Josh paused, looking up as he waved his hand around, searching for a word. “Expand by the time our wedding arrives. Maybe that’s the real problem with all these excursions one after the other.”

“You’d look hot with a few extra pounds,” I assured him. “Don’t worry about it. But I really have to worry about fitting into that dress.”

“No worries for either of us. Not about that.” Josh waved his hand again flippantly, resuming packing his bag. “Unimportant.”

I sat down on the bed to watch him. “Fair enough. Not gonna worry about it,” I said, though the thought of abruptly not fitting into my wedding dress filled me with enough dread to promise myself that I’d take it easy on the Doritos and Little Debbie cakes later.

Josh, Jake, Sam and Danny commenced their bar crawl that night while I drove myself over to Jane’s to meet her, Bev and Kirsti for our sleepover. After I dropped my bag in the living room, I went into Jane’s cozy kitchen and saw that she’d taken a page from Jake’s book–instead of the bags and boxes of junk and comfort food lazily peppered around, she’d laid everything out in a contrasting, elegant way. 

“You are so cute,” I said, eyeing the Ho-Hos and Zebra Cakes that had been unwrapped and plated in an alternating pattern on a funky black and white curved platter. 

“Thank you,” Jane said with a smile, handing Bev a bag of pizza rolls, then she gave an exaggerated bow. “And welcome to your bachelorette party on a budget. It can still be kind of fancy, I think.”

Bev scooted past her to turn on the oven. “So we’ve got pizza rolls, mac and cheese bites which I’m gonna do in the air fryer, mozzarella sticks and Bagel Bites.” She gave me a mock-exasperated look. “Put on the sweatpants, girlies.”

I opened the freezer to peek. “Wow, two types of pizza snacks indeed. We really are living large tonight.”

“Where’s your sister?” Jane asked, unraveling champagne glasses from tissue paper. “She’s bringing the booze, right?”

“Jane, you didn’t need to buy those,” I said. “I’m pretty sure Kirsti could have brought glasses along with the champagne. So, yeah, she’s in charge of alcohol.”

Kirsti showed up right as the pizza rolls were coming out of the oven, coming to the rescue with two bottles of champagne, three bottles of wine and a 24-rack of seltzers. I laughed incredulously at her haul that was fit for maybe more like a sorority party.

“Well, it’s a party,” my sister stressed, handing off the huge box of seltzers to me. “And based on the amount of alcohol that was consumed during my Halloween party, I thought it was necessary.”

“Kirsti, you literally forced us all to do shots,” Bev noted, an amused smile on her face while she watched Kirsti unload all the alcohol into the fridge, minus the two bottles of champagne which she kept on the counter.

“Forced. Right,” Kirsti replied with a little scoff, shaking her head. “No, it’s totally fine. None of you threw up. That’s all I can ask for.”

I leaned back against the wall, crossing my arms, trying to rifle through memories. “Didn’t your coworker Ben throw up on the porch?”

Kirsti laughed. “He’s such an idiot.”

“We know the type,” Bev chirped. 

We eventually all settled onto the floor of Jane’s living room, which she’d covered with various throw blankets and pillows, with our glasses of champagne. Each of the girls had given me a separate toast–Kirsti had a long one, full of nothing but well wishes for Josh and I and one that I figured was a practice for her maid of honor speech. Bev tossed in her trademark humor and wit with her heartwarming adoration, of course reminding all of us of the troubled beginning Josh and I had had thanks to my own stubbornness. Jane’s might have been the sweetest of all though because her intrinsic sweetness rolled through every word and facial expression, a gentle light in her eyes while she spoke. All of it almost made me cry, but the tears subsided when Bev suddenly showered me with penis-shaped confetti.

“Congratulations, beautiful bride!” she said with a boisterous laugh, leaving me perplexed in the phallus-rain. 

“This–” I began, holding a palmful of it. “Where did you even get this? Do we have a sex shop here I’m unaware of?”

“I ordered it,” Bev told me with a smirk. “I ordered many things.”

“She even ordered–” Jane began, then Bev held a hand out to stop her.

“No! Don’t spoil the rest of the surprises,” she warned, then clinked my glass with hers. “Cheers, babe. I promise I won’t pull any of this shit at the wedding.”

“Appreciate it,” I told her. I was wondering what Josh and the boys were doing and hoping Sam hadn’t mirrored Bev’s actions with pussy confetti, but it seemed probable, especially if they’d spent even a minute talking since my birthday night.

The evening progressed easily with laidback drinking and fun, lighthearted games. But when we all started to get more and more tipsy, Bev proposed we play a “lie detector” game, which involved two of us taking turns facing one another, one asking a question and having to determine if the other’s answer was actually true. As the bride-to-be, I got in the hot seat first with Bev facing me, a devilish grin on her lips while she swirled the wine in her glass.

The nervous smirk on my own face was involuntary. “Do your worst,” I told her before taking a sip of my seltzer. 

“Okay,” Bev said slowly, looking up to the ceiling for a moment before she looked into my eyes, daring and definitely drunker than I was. “Did you think about breaking up with Josh when he told you about the SCAD interview?”

“Not for a second,” was my instant answer, the absolute truth. Bev’s nod solidified that.

“Yeah, I believe it,” she said, then brought the glass to her lips again. “Guess I gotta drink. I should’ve thought of something better.”

It was my turn with Jane next and there was one thing I was quite curious about, given how reserved she often was and how I’d seen the crush on Jake bloom in real time. “Did you really not sleep with Jake the night of my birthday?”

She laughed a little. “I really didn’t. We made out and stuff, but–”

“And stuff,” Bev echoed with a laugh of her own.

“I believe her,” I announced, taking a drink. “How’s anyone supposed to get an answer that’s actually a lie? I feel like we all know each other too well for that or we’re just not being mean enough or something.”

“It has to be really embarrassing,” Kirsti said. “And now I’m up.”

Bev was up against her, sitting cross-legged on a square pillow. Kirsti being in the hot seat did make me a little nervous. We hadn’t had a true heart to heart in a while–it was Josh who I shared everything with, who I always went to first about everything even if it was painful. Especially if it was painful, actually. And when Bev asked if Kirsti was upset about her younger sister getting married first, her face didn’t match her answer at all. 

The room became silent, tense and awkward. Bev looked at me sheepishly, bringing the wine glass closer to her body as if she could hide behind it. “Oh. Well–”

“It��s okay,” I said, but was it? My sister was entitled to her feelings and I thought I could understand, but I wish I’d talked to her about all of this so much more deeply before we got here. I didn’t want her to feel slighted by the universe or jealous of me or lesser than or anything negative at all. Suddenly my mind was spinning, and not from the alcohol. 

“I think we all imagine our lives working out differently than they actually end up,” Kirsti said, far more sober and able to speak distinctly than the rest of us. Except my buzz felt abruptly yanked into the atmosphere, leaving me drained with no good reason. 

“We’re all single and hot,” Bev said. “Nothing wrong with that.”

“No, of course not,” Kirsti said. She laughed softly and the familiar sound eased my fears a bit. “I’m just starting to feel really old.”

“You’re not,” Jane offered, always one of the most genuine, kind people out there no matter what level of intoxication she was at. “None of us are and you know what? I think we’re all gonna find our perfect matches one day even if it takes a little longer.” 

I was still quiet, trying to process as best I could with so much champagne, wine and hard seltzer in my system. Kirsti turned to me: “Seriously, it’s not a big deal. It’s not any deal. It just got me thinking.”

“It’s okay, really,” I said again, because it was. “I’d probably feel the same if I were you.”

We all moved past it easily enough, diving back into games, drinks and snacks until I felt stuffed to the gills. But I also felt like a cloud hung over the rest of the night, right over Kirsti and I. Why hadn’t I even considered her feelings about this until Bev asked? Why hadn’t we really talked? The kicker was, of course, that I was just bursting with a need to tell Josh all about this when I should have been talking to her. So when Bev and Jane crowded the bathroom to get ready for bed, I sat back down with my sister in the living room.

“I hate that you’ve been feeling this way,” I told her. “And I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you about it before. I feel like I’ve done nothing but talk about myself and the wedding for so long now and that’s gotta be annoying as fuck.”

“It’s not annoying. This is what happens,” Kirsti assured me. “If it’s ever my turn, it’ll be the same thing.”

I shifted on the couch, still feeling like I couldn’t find the right words. “We’ve been drifting apart more and more. Suddenly I see that and I don’t like it.”

Kirsti’s expression hardened into protection mode: “Well, when I learned Josh wanted to take you away to a completely different state, I didn’t like that.”

I sighed. “Me either.”

“Listen–everything’s been building up to this thing. The wedding. That’s what’s supposed to happen. That’s what you want to happen, right?”

“Yeah.”

Kirsti leaned back against the arm of the couch. “So don’t worry about me. I’m a little jealous, that’s all. I feel like I’ve gotten nowhere in my own love life, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t either. It’s not like, the 1800s or whatever when the oldest has to get married first.”

“I know. But yeah, I get it,” I told her, suddenly exhausted and wishing we could rewind, just go back to the fun, silly games and forget we ever drifted apart at all. “It’s a lot for everyone to deal with, I think. But I really need you there, okay? I can’t do this without you.”

That got a little smile. It was what I needed. “You could. All you need is Josh.”

I shook my head. “Not true. I need all of you guys. Always. Forever.”

Bev appeared, carrying that tray of mini, pre-packaged cakes. “You did say something about a commune before. Maybe we should go for it.” 

“Josh would love that,” I said, my mind meandering back to my beloved boy. “At this point, I’m very open to it. We could all be one big, happy family.”

Jane came into the room and sat down on the floor below me. “They’re definitely drunk right now,” she said, holding her phone out to show me a text from Jake, which was just a picture, no text to provide any concrete context. It was him and Sam looming over the camera, Jake so close you could only see the top half of his face, Sam grinning next to him and holding a beer. It was adorable. I loved it. I could see that she did, too. 

Kirsti clapped her hands together and stood up. “Okay, let’s get this party going again. I didn’t mean to bring anyone down.” She pointed dramatically at each one of us, so lively, as if the alcohol had hit her out of nowhere. “I love all of you and this wedding is going to be amazing and no one is going to sleep yet..” 

I pulled out my own phone to see if Josh had texted me and indeed he had. He had sent me a picture of him and Danny, Danny’s arm slung over his shoulders as Josh slumped over a counter, a tall cocktail in front of his face. How lucky, I thought, to have found such magical, silly, wonderful people to share life with. 

When the rest of the surprises commenced, I was reminded again of that luck, drunk and growing more and more flushed and bewildered with each stupid but potentially useful gift I’d been given by my friends.

I dangled up a pair of fuzzy handcuffs that Jane had given to me, wrapped up so nicely in a sophisticated cream-colored box complete with a bow. “Really?”

“Oh come on. I feel like you guys would be into that,” she said, giggling, then addressed the other two girls. “Am I wrong?”

“Nah, not wrong,” Bev chimed in, pouring herself more wine. “Josh definitely seems like a bit of a sub.” I was not sober enough to pull up my defenses, and my silent and red-faced answer was testament to that. Bev started to laugh, pointing at me: “See! I’m totally right. Shit, you gotta give us some details now.”

I dropped the cuffs back into the box and placed the lid on top. “No, no details. You guys don’t deserve it.” As the noise of protest chimed around me, I ignored it and reached for a small pink bag. “This one better be good,” I said and, really, it was–a bottle of edible body oil and a bottle of peach-flavored lube. 

“There’s no excuse not to use those,” Kirsti said, trying to stifle laughter behind her drink, and I turned to stare at her, open-mouthed with so much surprise that my own older sister could be so raunchy like Bev and Jane. She let out a real laugh then. “Don’t look at me like that! You told me Josh just loves when you give him massages.”

Bev and Jane both broke out into laughter; I dropped the bottles back into the bag. “Okay, yes, he does,” I admitted. “His shoulders get tight, you know.” That just elicited more laughter so I moved onto the next bag, quickly revealing a pair of nipple clamps. I stared at them for a moment before covering my face with my hand, sighing heavily. “Ladies–are you serious?”

“I’m telling ya,” Bev said, leaning into Jane hard, gesturing to me with a very drunk hand that was holding that diabolical glass of wine. “Sub vibes. Tell me I’m wrong.” 

“We like it both ways,” I grumbled but when Bev looked way too satisfied with that not entirely accurate answer, I corrected myself. “No one is a sub or a dom! Jeez.” I huffed, shaking my head. “But you know what? I’m gonna ask Josh to try these for real.”

“He’s got a nice rack,” Kirsti said casually and with a little shrug.

Jane tilted her head and nodded in agreement; Bev raised her eyebrows at me, smirking: “See? I was right.”

---

Tagging: @jjwasneverhere @bizzielisteningtogreta @clairesjointshurt @sanguinebats @lightsofthe-living-gvf @starbuggie @sparrowofrhiannon

If you'd like to be tagging in any of my fics, you can go here or DM me :)

[akcsha]

@deflvwered ❛ you can’t keep me here forever! ❜

She laughed and sat beside the human without fear. “I did not intend to keep you so long ,” She said. “You shall not even last the night.”

[just-my-type-x]

I want smut about being horny with Brad wearing a black jacket like the one in the picture, pleasee

Countryside Escapade

Smut

I hope this was the picture you were talking about ♥️

Pic sent by @multifandomsugar

I take a few plates from the trunk and help Lucy set up the table for us to eat on. She lays the table cloth and helps me arrange the plates, counting the people so we would have enough of everything. Kirstie puts knives and forks and Tristan joins to do the last touches on the table.

I look over to the side where the rest of the boys are chatting and drinking beers and i smile at Brad when he catches my eye. He winks at me and i roll my eyes. The wind blows all of a sudden and i get goosebumps everywhere on my body. I turn around to look for Brad's leather jacket, as he is wearing only a t-shirt. I toss it to him and wait for him to put it on.

"Thanks, princess", he catches me by my waist and pulls me closer to him

"No problem, baby", i sit myself on his lap and he pulls me closer to adjust me. "You're much warmer than me, how's that even possible. You've been sitting here the whole time.", i laugh and take a sip of his beer.

"We've been drinking, my blood kept warming up", Brad smirks at me and kisses my jawline, gripping tighter on my sides. I moan silently and turn my head to kiss him. I stop, looking around to see if anyone notices our little exchange of words and hungry eyes.

"You look so sexy in this jacket, Bradley", i whisper in his ear, while gripping his jacket collar.

"Someone's horny, may i say?", he raises his eyebrows, amused. "Because... Right back at ya", he caresses my ass cheek and squeezes it gently while holding my gaze. I bite my lip and follow his gaze that fell on my mouth. "You're gonna need more than that to keep you quiet tonight.", he kisses me and i freeze for a few seconds, still taking in what he said. I kiss him back, my hands around his neck and i deepen the kiss.

"Please wait until after dinner, my appetite fades", Connor makes fun of us and Brad throws a snickers bar at him.

"Shut up, babe, you're getting attention tonight too", Lucy laughs and joins us, her as well sitting in Con's lap.

"Sounds good to me", they kiss each other and spend a few more minutes talking and laughing.

After dinner, we make a big bonfire, taking out all the marshmallows, graham crackers, nutella and a lot of fruits to have around us. We drink glass after glass, making the most out of the moment, happy that we're all there, together, living the best years of our lives.

I go back to the car to get mine and Brad's sleeping bags to put them inside the tent and he joins me halfway, helping me with them.

"I'm sorry i didn't help you much today.", Brad puts the sleeping bags on the grass and opens the temt zipper.

"C'mon, babe, did you really think i was mad or anything? I'm the happiest when u're finally relaxed.", i smile at him and kneel next to him to help him unroll them.

"I love you so much"

"I love you more", i peck his lips and i get inside the tent to arrange some pillows and another blanket, but Brad follows me inside. "What are you doing?", i giggle when he pushes me down and gets on top of me, tickling me, biting me and kissing me. He stops and tries to get off me, but i grab him by the collar of the jacket again and pull him back on me. "I was serious about how this jacket makes me feel. And I've been drinking too."

He smirks and starts undressing me, my boiling body not feeling the chilly evening. Brad takes a moment to look at my exposed body, breathing heavily, eyes filled with lust. He undresses himself and hovers me again, rubbing himself on me, building up even more need than i was already feeling.

"Please", i beg Brad and he exhales loudly, obeying in seconds. He puts the head in, slowly getting inside my pussy so neither i or him get hurt. I gasp when he's all the way in and he gives me a smile while opening my legs wider for him. I bite my lip, watching him watch me with a wild hunger.

"This is the best view I've had all weekend.", i chuckle and he gives me one more smile, his hands grabbing my sides. Brad starts thrusting in me slowly at first, but as soon as my walls are stretched enough for him, he starts going faster and harder. Our skins touching each other sound so much louder in the quietness of the hill we're on and this only makes us get crazier about the feeling.

"Mm, don't stop", i breath out, my hand grabbing Brad's.

"Never", he whispers and pins our hands above my head, this position giving him a lot more access inside me. He reaches my g-spot even better than before, which makes me almost screem, but Brad's mouth covers mine just in time. "Baby, as much as i love having you scream for me, keep it lower.", i nod, barely comprehending what he told me. I tighten my grip on his hand and arch my back in need for release.

"You do it way too good, i can't help it sometimes", he chuckles and releases my hands so he would get in a better position for both of us to finish. He grabs my waist again and puts a pillow underneath me, while pumping fast inside me. I bite my hand so i hold back my moans, but Brad can't seem to want to hold his back. He groans loud, moan after moan and loud exhales, as he gets close. "Shh", i barely make it out and he puts a hand on my stomach, building up pressure on my belly. My head falls back as i cum a few moments after, muffling my moans with the back of my hand. I whimper while Brad releases right after me, riding our highs. He cums with a groan, moving fast as he's still turned on from earlier, this only opening his appetite for more sex.

He takes it out slowly, cleaning me and himself with some paper towels. He gets next to me, throwing a blanket on us, the heat in our bodies being replaced soon after with coldness.

"Remind me to wear that jacket again, if the outcome is always going to be this amazing sex.", his breath steadies and chest raises at normal speed now.

"Oh, for sure.", i smile and get closer to his body, my back on his chest

"If you're going to stay like this, we're not going outside again", he whispers in my ear and bites my earlobe, and i squirm under his touch.

"Sounds great"

[bradtomlovesya]

𝕀 𝕨𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦

Based in this request ---here---

I'm half alive! Sorry for the delay and i hope you like it :)

Word counter: 2k +

Warnings:

Really angst :(

Vocabulary

Mentions of cheating

Bad ending

Note: This is really sad and angst so read by your own risk. If you ask for it i will do a part two :)

"Hey babe" I look at my beautiful boyfriend in the screen.

We haven't seen each other for almost 4 months and there were still two more months to go. He is out because of the "Cherry blossom Europe and U.E tour".

I miss him, i really do and our house never felt so empty before. I wasn't eating good due to i feel a little sad all the time but i haven't told him because i don't want to worry him.

He is out for work, this is what he loves and i love what he loves. If he is happy, is okay for me.

"Heyyyy, How ya' doing?" he answers looking at me.

"I'm fine" i smile a little "i was preparing dinner, ready to eat with you"

Brad and i decided to eat dinner "together" every saturday and sunday to feel the closest possible despite the distance.

"Brad? We are leaving" a female voice says in the background.

"Uhh... babe?" he says looking at me.

"Yes?" i put the food on the plate.

"Would you mind if we don't eat dinner together? I made some plans with a couple of friends" He laughs nervously.

"Brad!" the voice calls him again.

"Wait a minute!" he shouts back.

"Oh yes... it's okay. Don't worry, have fun" I say. He wants to be with his friends right now and who am i to tell him don't?

"Thank you, Bye Bye"

"Bye, i lov-"

He ends the call before i could finish the sentence.

"Love you" i finish the setence and put the plate in the microwave.

I can't lie, that really hurted me but i'm not gonna tell him to don't go.

His strange behavior started a few weeks ago but i didn't pay attention to that because i thought that maybe he was really tired of the tour.

Now i'm not 100% sure it's just that.

I look at the microwave and then just close it without turn it on. I'm not hungry anymore.

---------------------------------------------

"Lucee! Kirstie!" i hug both of them and let her enter in the house.

We decided to do like a pijama party for the weekend 'cause we feel really lonely without the boys here.

"Thanks for inviting us!" Kirstie says. "I'm feeling really bad alone at home all day.

"Me too" Lucee says.

"But now we have each other for a weekend!" I smile.

"How's Brad?" Kirstie asks.

The girls come in and leave their things on the couch.

"Umm... I think he's okay" I shrug "We haven't talk in two days"

"What? Why?" Lucee asks.

"I don't know. I have called him but he didn't answers the phone, maybe he's bussy"

"Yeah, maybe is that. Don't worry" Kirstie puts her arm on my shoulder.

A phone rings.

"I's Connor" Lucee says.

"Can you ask him if Brad's okay? Please" I look at her.

She nods and Answers the call "Hi, love" she says looking at her phone.

"How is the love of my life?" He asks.

"She is fine" she laughs "What 'bout you?"

"Perfect now that i hear your voice. I miss you"

"I miss you too" she pouts "Just one month and a half left"

"Yes! Can't wait to hug you, and kiss you and make you mine ag-"

Lucee interrupts him and Kirstie and i just burst into laughs.

"Sorry, i forgot you are with the girls" He laughs.

"It's okay, babe. How is Brad?"

"Brad? Why?" he frowns.

Lucee looks at me and i shake my head implying that do not tell him that I asked.

"Just curiosity" She looks back at him.

"He is fine, he is here right now playing videogames with Tris"

"Have you been bussy?" She asks.

"Not too much, i told you yesterday that we had the day free and today too"

I bite my lip. He isn't bussy and he doesn't answer any of my calls.

"Okay... thank you. I will talk to you later. Love you"

They wave goodbyes and then she looks at me.

"I'm sorry..." she makes a face.

"It's okay" I smile a bit "thanks for asking"

"What if we do some cocktails?" Kirstie asks.

"Sounds like a plan" I start walking to the kitchen and they follow me.

--------------------------------------------

"Okay, my turn" Lucee says while she ends preparing her cocktail.

"Surprise us!" Kirstie laughs.

"Taste" she lefts the glasses in front of us and after a toast we drink the cocktail.

"It's really good" I say drinking.

"I think you win" Kirstie says.

"Thank you, i'm a master at cocktails"

We all laugh.

I start feelling a really dizzy.

"y/n? You okay?" Kirstie and lucee look at me worried.

"Yes, i just need to go to the bathroom" I start walking feeling more and more bad with every step.

Once in the bathroom i let go evertyhing i have eaten today. Wich is just an apple.

"Do you want a cup of water?" Lucee asks from the other side of the door.

"Yes, please!" I answer.

My cheeks start turning red and really hot. The breath begins to fail me. I can't breathe.

My throats feel closed and in this moment i think i'm gonna die.

"Here is the Wa-" Lucee says opening the door and sees me in the floor of the bathroom "Kirstie! Call emergencies now! y/n! Look at me please!" she crouches next to me and takes my head.

I tried my best to keep my eyes open but i fail.

---------------------------------------------

I hear a little bit of voices around me... sounds like and eco. I open my eyes with difficulty and look around. The walls are white and my mom and Lucee are next to me.

I squeeze my mom's hand and she looks at me.

I tried to say something but i can't. I have something in my mouth that doesn't allow me to.

After a couple of minutes a nurse comes in and removes the tube from my throat so I can speak and breathe. After that the doctor come in too and give a lot of recomendations because i could have died. He says that in the night i can go home.

"My baby" my mom says and hugs me.

"What happened? i ask confused.

"You had an allergic reaction to coconut and plus you had a tremendous vitamin deficiency because you haven't been eating well" Lucee answers my question.

"But now i'm good" i sigh and shrugh.

"You've been unconscious for almost 52 hours, y/n. You have to take care of yourself"

"What!?" i frown "seriously?"

My mom nods.

I look at my hands and just sigh.

"I will go for water for you" My mom lefts the room.

"Do you told Brad?" I look at Lucee.

"No, but i called Connor and told him to tell Brad"

I nod.

"You know where is my phone?"

She handle it to me and i look for Brad in my contacts.

"I will go for a cup of coffe" she lefts the room letting me alone.

One, two, three, fourt rings and in the number five he answers.

"Hey... you're awake" He smiles a little bit.

"Yes... i just woke up"

"Connor told me what happened. How are you?"

"I feel good, i think. Much better now"

"When do you get discharged?" he run his hand through his hair.

"I'm feeling good so... i think that maybe in a couple of hours i'm at home. I just have to take some pills and keep rest"

"Good to hear that" he nods.

"Are you coming. Aren't you?"

"Uhm... in fact i was just waiting to know if you were okay"

"I'm alive if that's what you mean" i say with a serious tone.

"There's just one month left of the tour..."

"Yeah, sure. That's the most important thing right now" I try to don't sound hurt.

"You are alive, aren't you?"

Just that words were enough to break my hearth in a lot of pieces.

"I have to go, i will see you when tour is over".

He ends up the call and i just start crying wondering when did he stop loving me. Now i'm nothing for him.

I could have died and he didn't even care.

-----------------------------------------------

Two months have passed since that call.

I'm living with my parents again due to i don't wanted to live with him anymore.

He tried to call me a few times a month ago when the tour ended but i rejected all of them. His behavior wasn't what i expected... He is-. He was my boyfriend he should be there with me or at least be worried about me.

Now i was going to that house for the rest of my stuff. Connor told me Brad isn't here and that's why i'm coming.

I open the front door and start walking to the room for the rest of my clothes.

"Y/n..." Brad stands up from bed looking at me.

"Connor told me you weren't here" I say roughly "Doesn't matter, i will come back in another moment" I turn in my heels and he grabs my hand.

"No, wait. Please" he murmurs "Just listen to me..." he begs.

"What do you want?" i look at him with a mad look in my face.

"I want you back, babe" He tries to take my other hand and i don't let him.

"No, don't touch me"

"You don't know how sorry i am" His eyes starts filling up with tears.

"I don't give a fuck if you feel sorry!" I shout. "You don't have an idea of how much you hurted me!" I try to don't start crying.

"Love, i know i was an idiot for how i behave i was just-"

"What? bussy in the tour? Don't tell me you were bussy 'cause when Connor called Lucee that day, he told us you were playing videogames with Tris"

"I just needed some relief..."

"I can understand that. What i don't understand is that you don't answered any of my calls! I was worried about you and you just decided to ignore me!" at this point i was crying already.

"I-"

"No! And that's not all. You also stopped caring about me! You forgot you had a damn grilfriend or what? Explain me 'cause i don't understand"

"Babe-"

"Don't call me like that"

"y/n... I don't know how to apologise. I don't know what to do right now" He starts crying too. "I know i messed up. You were always there for me, caring about me and i didn't give you that back"

"You stopped eating dinner with me like we promissed!" i sob. "You stopped asking how i was, you stopped calling me" I look at the floor. "You stopped loving me" i murmur.

"I've never stopped loving you! I just felt so damn guilty to talk to you..."

"Why guilty?" frown "I don't want more excuses, Brad. I think i deserve the truth"

"The saturday i told you i had plans with some friends so i couldn't eat dinner with you. We went to a bar..." He pauses and takes sit on the couch. He can't stop sobbing. "I was really stressed so i got really drunk and end up kissing a random girl in a bathroom"

The moment i hear that. My heart breaks in pieces again.

"Why?" I ask hurt.

"I was really drunk. It's not an excuse, it's just the truth" He hide his face in his hands "I'm so sorry"

I put my hands on the kitchen counter and start crying like never before. I was hurt... but now i'm 300% more hurt.

Al least now i can understand why he was acting like that.

"You hook up with her?" i ask without looking at him.

"No. Was just a kiss" He sobs. "I realized what i was doing and ran out of that place before doing something worst"

"You should have told me" i look at him.

"I were going to tell you" He stands up "But then you had that allergic reaction and almost died" He walks towards me.

"I don't know what to say right now" i say honestly.

"I know i really hurted you and i don't deserve you but if you give me another chance i won't let you down. I swear" he caresses my cheek.

"I don't know" I close my eyes.

He breaks the distance and kisses me. I know i should take one step back but i don't do. I missed his lips, and inside of me i know that this is our last kiss.

After some seconds i decide to break the kiss.

"I love you even when you did that to me" I take his hand out of my face "But that doesn't mean that i will forgive you so easily. You really broke me and you keep doing it. I love you but i also love myself and i can't stand this type of treatment" I take out the keys from my pocket and let them on the table.

"I understand that" he nods and dry his tears.

"I will take the rest of my stuff"

He nods again and i walk to the room. I put my stuff in a box trying to don't cry again.

When i end up doing it i walk to the front door.

"Y/n?" Brad looks at me.

"Yes?" I look at him after open de door.

"I love you. I won't surrender with you"

I can't help but bit back a little smile.

"Good bye, Brad"

I go out and close the door. I will love him forever but first is me.

------------------------------------- °|° ----------------------------------

This is the sadest thing i ever wrote :(

°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°|°

Tag list:

@killerqueen3009

Let me know if you want to be added/removed

[sarnie-for-varney]

in9 moments that haunt you? 👀

Thank you @lapis-lazuliie for the suggestion!

THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS!!

Series 1:

The Understudy - The scene at the end when Kirstie admits to all the stuff she's done. I'm not sure why, but its SO unsettling. Especially even she says "I'm always watching" ✋🏻😨

The Harrowing - The end scene honestly scares me so much. When she's screaming and mostly naked, it's just so disturbing to me. The fact that she's playing a teenager and she's in that plight just makes my stomach turn. I know the actor probably isn't a teen but uGHHH its gross 😂

Series 2:

Cold Comfort - This whole episode made me feel super uneasy and uncomfortable. I think it's super unsettling to see George actually SPEAKING as Chloe. Like that is disturbing, especially because we know how much it's affecting Andy's mental health. Also the darkened office scenes, I was fREAKED out. I thought something was gonna jump out. The whole CCTV camera thing was eerie, honestly

Series 3:

The Devil of Christmas - Do I even need to expand on this one? That end scene is one that will forever terrify me. Because as the director says, you can really see the genuine fear on her face as she realises it's real. (Obviously it's still acting, but it's a whole other thing to act badly on purpose and then make it seem so genuine). And just... the disturbing concept that she's surrounded by all these sick and twisted people as she's being killed. Freaking horrifying.

The Riddle of The Sphinx - Honestly, I was already uncomfortable when Squires starts... touching her while she's vulnerable but that wasn't even the worst part! When Tyler cuts that cHUNK out of her, and knowing she can still feel pain but can't even react is just the most awful thing ever. And then watching Squires eat it 🤢🤢. THEN HE FINDS OUT ITS HIS DAUGHTER OMFG- IT'S A SHIT SHOW!!

Diddle Diddle Dumpling - I really don't talk about this episode often, but the ending really made me think. When we find out that he did all this because of his lost child, I was like bRO- but then finding out he mURDERED that guy. I was like 😱

Series 4:

To Have and To Hold - I'm not sure why but there's something so unsettling about Adrian feeding that woman a Pot Noodle and then unzipping his trousers. Honestly glad he fell down those stairs, ngl

Tempting Fate - AHHH when Maz gets that sPIKE in her head omfg I almost vomited. But when Nick wished for Charlie's recovery, I was like oh GOD NO-

Deadline - This whole episode scared the shit out of me. The way they broke the fourth wall with it. I was watching it on iPlayer and it still tricked me, I'm not even kidding. And when they went back to the A Quiet Night In, and the strange ENTITY- I shat myself.

Series 5:

Death Be Not Proud - I know this was a tribute to Psychoville and it wasn't really that scary but like... when he's about to plop that baby into the boiling water, I was like MATERNAL MODE: ACTIVATED! The way I cRINGED as it got closer to the boiling pot, my face looked like I'd sucked a lemon.

Thinking Out Loud - Most of this episode was unsettling to me. It's one of my favourite episodes, but one of the most terrifying. Galen is a SCARY character and the way he looks at the screen, completely lifeless and interacts with us. The fucking jumpscare too, I was like 'rEALLY?!'. But it was unsettling also when the music builds up as Nadia starts to understand that none of these people exist, and she's just one person. AND again, the ending was just jarring. The way Galen appears and murders Bill, but then Nadia steps back covered in blood. Gosh, actual chills!

The Stakeout - AHHH this one, cHRIST! That dagger going ALL the way into his neck, nO- sorry, I cannot handle gore and my toes curled. And the way the feeding scene seemed to go on for so long, it was sooo haunting!

Series 6:

Wuthering Heist - My jaw dropped when Pantalone sliced Collie's throat, and just the way she fell to the ground and reached out for help. How the others just stared at her as she died, it was quite disturbing. (Also what Scaramouche was going to that gun, but we'll skip past that)

Simon Says - Do I really need to elaborate? "We don't want him looking at us, do we?" YEESH-

How Do You Plead? - I know this episode was all Dr. Faustus-y with Lucifer and like... evil things but that kid choking up that orange? Gross and horrifying.

Last Night of The Proms - Three words: The Sailor's Hornpipe. Yeah... because this was the episode I chose to watch with my dad. The murder didn't bother me, and neither did Brian's groping but when Penny starting throwing it back... nah-

I hope that answered your question!

[nerdy-bookworm-1998]

A Special Gift

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes Words: 1149 Warnings: Fluff A/N: This is part of my 25 Days of Christmas Writing Challenge. For those that are interested, I still have 21 request spots available. Just send me a request for what you would like me to write along with the character. I will write for Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Legolas, Thranduil, and Kili. Feedback and reblogs are appreciated. If you want to be tagged in future works, just drop me an ask.

The Monday after Thanksgiving, Pepper and I are holed up in her office, going over the preparations for this year's Annual Stark Industries Christmas Gala. We had decided to hold it the weekend of the 19th since most people would be on leave from the 21st until the second week in January. We had just finished deciding what food to serve at the buffet when there came a knock on her door.

Grace, Pepper's assistant, poked her head into the office. "I'm so sorry to disturb you, Miss Potts. Your lunch is here," she informs us with her usual polite smile.

"Thank you, Grace. You can bring it in here, please, and then inform Maurice that I'll be sending him the final list for the gala," Pepper instructs the young woman.

"Of course, miss," Grace nods before leaving to bring in our lunch. Pepper had ordered a tuna salad, apple pie, and iced tea, while I had gone for a large chicken burger with avos and Danish feta cheese, curly fries, onion rings, and a large strawberry milkshake.

"So, the team is all gone on missions this week how about we have a girls' night? I can't remember the last time we just hung out together," Pepper suggests as she starts unwrapping her salad.

"That sounds aweso-," my sentence is cut short by the undeniable lurching of my stomach as the scent of tuna reaches me. I hurry out of my seat and to the private restroom located in the office. I make it just in time for my stomach contents to upend itself into the toilet.

"Are you alright, dear?" Pep asks, hurrying around the partition to rub my back soothingly while I struggle for breath.

Once I can breathe normally again, I stand up, wipe off my tears, and blow my nose before flushing the toilet and rinsing my mouth.

"I've had this stomach bug for a week, and nothing I do makes it go away. I can't even stand the smell of coffee without having to run to the nearest bathroom," I complain as I slowly walk back towards my seat and pull my food closer.

Pepper sits down behind her desk. "You know what, I think this can wait until later," she says before closing the salad bowl, putting it in the mini-fridge, and opens the apple pie instead.

We spend the rest of lunch trading different ideas for the gala. It's only once we've both finished eating that Pepper cautiously speaks up. "Have you thought of going to Dr. Cho to see if she can give you anything for the stomach bug?"

"I don't want to bother her with this, she has more than enough on her plate already," I shrug, not wanting to voice the real reason I haven't gone to see her.

"I could always go with you if you're scared to go alone," she offers kindly. "I can have Grace clear my schedule for the rest of the day."

"Thank you, Pep. You're a very good friend," I whisper, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

After having Grace clear her schedule and packing up for the day, Pepper links her arm with mine as we begin the long walk to the med bay.

When we enter, I am relieved to see the area blessedly empty, except for Dr. Cho, who seems busy taking stock of all the medicines in the cupboards. She looks over at us when she hears the doors open. "Good afternoon, ladies; what can I help you with?" she asks in her gentle voice.

"I need something for a stomach bug, doc. It's been going on for a week, and nothing seems to help," I explain.

"Of course," she nods, "why don't you have a seat and I'll see what seems to be the problem," she smiles kindly before going off to fetch a pair of gloves and various implements. She takes all of my vitals, including a blood sample, which she inserts into a weird-looking machine that glows blue. "Your vital signs all appear to be normal, however, there is one more test I would like to do while we wait for your blood test results," she explains as she hands me a small plastic cup and directs me towards the restroom at the far end of the room.

Once I'm back with the sample in hand, she takes it over to a counter and does something I cannot see. After a few minutes, the machine doing my blood tests beeps softly and emits a paper print-out. Cho retrieves it and gives it a thorough read through before walking back to where I'm sitting on the exam table with Pepper standing next to me.

"I'm sorry to say, your stomach bug won't be going anywhere for the next few months, my dear," she says with a large smile.

"What do you mean?" I ask, feeling confused.

"You're pregnant!" she replies while showing me the pregnancy test in her hand as well as the print-out of my bloodwork, confirming it.

"Holy cow," I mumble to myself before looking at the two women standing before me with matching smiles. "Can we keep this between the three of us for now? Until I've decided to tell everyone," I rush to explain.

"Of course, dear. Whatever you want," Pepper reassures me with a warm hug.

Over the next week, Pepper helps me make an appointment with an OBGYN in the new year to find out how far along I am. Then she helps me decide what would be the best way to tell the team, but most importantly, Steve and Bucky.

It's Christmas Eve. The team is all gathered around the giant tree in the living room. They had already each opened a present when I stand up and clap my hands to get their attention. "I know we usually wait until tomorrow morning to exchange gifts, but I have something for each of you that I would like you to open now," I explain as I grab the gift bags with everyone's names on them and start handing them out. I watch with bated breath as everyone pulls out a knitted sweater with a Norwegian pattern of snowflakes and reindeers, across the chest the words Auntie for Nat, Wanda, and Pep, and Uncle for the guys while Steve and Bucky's both say Papa.

It takes a moment for it to sink in but then both men are looking at me with tears in their eyes, asking in croaky voices, "You're pregnant?" to which I hesitantly nodded. Suddenly I'm engulfed in their arms as they let out joyous cries, "We're gonna be parents!"

Later that night, as we snuggle together in our bed, both Steve and Bucky's hands resting on my stomach, they whisper tearily into my ear, "Thank you for our special gift, Sweetheart," before drifting off into a dreamless slumber.

Tags:

@mcdesij @spiderrrling @arrow-guy @interestedbystanderwrites @caplanreads @gwendelerynan @here2have-fun @bookscoffeeandracoons @bambamwolf87 @loricameback @rockrchick51 @love-nakamura @baebeepeach @timelordy-fangirl2 @jewelofwinter @caramell0w @jewels2876 @ladysergeantbarnes @notawritergettingtherethough @patzammit @fanfictionjunkie1112 @lumar014 @kirstie-evans-writes @robertdowneyhiddlesbatch @lil-lex1 @dragonrosegardens @bookgirlunicorn @shadymidge @kaithezaftig @that-place-called-middle-earth @marshyrebelcloud @rebekahdawkins

[neerasrealm]

got any random hcs for slendra, michael, and/or rosemary?

AN ASK ABOUT MY OCS I’M GONNA (NOCLIPS THROUGH THE FLOOR)

I of course have a lot of hcs for all of em so I’ll go section by section uvu

Michael

He wanted to be a carpenter before he done got possessed

He gets anxious when it’s too quiet, and will often make noises himself to fill the silence (snapping fingers, clicking tongue, humming loudly, etc)

He uses a noise machine to sleep

He doesn’t really talk much unless spoken to, he’ll only really hold long conversations with Kirstie and Owen

Speaking of Kirstie and Owen, I should really talk about them more since y’all only know them as ‘the ghost friends’

The three of them have known each other since they were kids

Owen was and still is the baby brother of the group

Kirstie is basically the mom friend. She was always a very positive and supportive person, and probably the smartest one too lol

Kirstie had two dads

Owen was never super talkative, but when it’s a topic he likes he can talk a lot

Michael is very uncomfortable with letting other people have control of his body because of trauma (obviously), but Kirstie sometimes forcibly takes control when Michael won’t take care of himself

Owen only really gets control when Ben invites him to play videogames

Owen can get really into games, they’re one of the few things that can make him angry or excited

Kirstie LOVES sports. She used to play volleyball when she was alive

When she gets control everyone just has to deal with Michael, the quiet guy who lives in the basement, suddenly being peppy and friendly

Michael doesn’t eat much, especially not desserts, but he has a soft spot for ice cream.

His room is FULL of empty bottles and cans. Man stays hydrated. He drinks ridiculous amounts of la croix because he has no will to live

Slendra

She is simply BABY

She took Sally’s place as the baby of the family LOL

Her love for bow ties is INTENSE. She likes bows just- in general, but you’d never catch her dead without a bowtie on. She collects them, much like how Slender collects ties.

She loves striped patterns

She loves singing and music of any kind. She plays piano and accordion, and is trying to learn the harmonica and ukulele

She has the tiniest smidge of Jack’s accent and occasionally uses cockney slang

Slender dies inside every time he hears Slendra call the mansion ‘’th’ gaf.’’

She’s oddly maternal towards some of her siblings. She takes after Slender and is often the only braincell of the group.

She loves doing cartwheels and things. Jack taught her all his tricks

She’s oddly protective of Jeff specifically. She’s protective of everyone but Jeff she’s just- big sister. Even though he’s 12 years older than her.

Ok this isnt a hc but I wanted to talk about why I went with the ‘demons age twice as fast as humans’ aspect of her character.

When making her I couldn’t decide if Slendra should be responsible older sister figure with a good sense of humour and love for comedy or if she should be a young girl who’s scared of her powers and always sticking by Slender’s side, with Jack trying to teach her confidence.

I eventually decided to blend both, making Slendra physically a teen but mentally closer to a child. I wanted this to represent that she’s innocent, but forced to grow up faster than she should’ve because of Zalgo being- well- her dad.

LetSlendraBeAKid2020 

Rosemary

I HAVE NEVER ONCE PICTURED HER IN MY HEAD WITHOUT HER FACE BEING O-O

BLINK MOTHERFUCKER BLINK!!!!

Ok but seriously-

Even if she doesn’t talk everyone can communicate with her pretty well

‘’...’

‘’No Rose I’m not making steak for dinner.’‘

I’ve said before that she takes the heads from her victims but she also takes a few bones and whatever else she feels like

What does she do with them? ... :)

Don’t go in her room there’s dead things and bones EVERYWHERE

It’s gross. Jason yells at her to clean up. She flips him off

She often leaves Zalgo’s realm just to go watch birds

She believes herself to be above humans and animals but birds? Birds are the one creature she respects

She believes herself to be a chosen one, in a way, because of Zalgo ‘choosing her’

She thinks she’s above other people but is completely subservient to Zalgo

Zalgo often calls her ‘my little lamb’ because of her last name which literally means ‘lamb of god’, the fact that she’s child sized and- y’know- Zalgo is a god.

She often paints her nails :) Nat and Jane let her join their girl’s nights (Zero is there too but only sometimes)

I haven’t decided if this is fully 100% canon yet but I like the idea of her being age-locked by Zalgo much like Nat and Jason are. I haven’t decided how old she is exactly, but I like the idea that she’s been around a while

uhh that’s all I have time to write down rn but!! I loved talking abt these guys...OC asks make me so happy you don’t even know sdfjfsdjf thank u anon

[inflashback]

1, 2, and 25?

thank you so much for asking!

Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

I have two current Big Ones-- my strode abode (tm) and my canon-divergent mabel rewrite.

the strode abode is a house where every final girl i could think of live together. i have a small drabble of it up on my ao3 currently but it’s a real big universe! rn i’m writing the origin story, where laurie strode + sally hardesty + nancy thompson + kirsty cotton adopt stretch brock + amanda young and i’m rlly rlly enjoying it. not too much progress but its going! and what i love most about it is i get to write some hella kickass ladies recovering from their trauma in the ways that their movies don’t!!

my mabel one is a sort of kick-back on the ‘anna cut mabel’s thread’ thing from like... episode 29 i think? mabel is the girl in anna’s mirror and vice-versa. mabel’s at boarding school and, thus, being tortured by aurora silver, and anna has to go get her! it involves a lot of time travel and the House Consuming All and i just adore it. we got like. 14 year old anna limon in a backwards snapback running away from home to go get 14 year old mabel martin, who eats flowers and bugs and hates everyone, everyone, everyone, save for the girl in her mirror. this is my current Passion Project so i’m gonna infodump a bit.

like!! idk theres so many plot threads that i get to use! was vera around til anna went to the underworld? no, but she is now, because i adore that rowan-rotted bastard and i want her in everything i write. do we know what happened to mabel under aurora silver’s care? god no, so i get to make it up! also anna as this young orpheus, so young and so stupid, running into the haunted house,,,, GOD!!! and when the time travel happens we get adult anna and mabel getting to see what they could have been and my god i just love this story i could talk about it for hours... progress is going okay, it’s not chronological but it’s happening, and my favorite part is definitely switching between the two POVs-- we have mabel, who is clinging to reality by A Thread and holding anna as like, the one thing keeping her sane (just like in canon!) versus anna, who is terrified but loves mabel enough not to care.... god. i just love it. it’s my favorite thing.

Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project?

in said youngmabel verse, i’m most looking forward, i think, to having the adults see the kids!! i have a really vivid image of young anna and mabel falling asleep in a field together and adult anna and mabel carrying them home,,, yeah. love ‘em. also vera’s there, complaining all the while.

What part of writing is the most fun?

honestly? self indulgence. i love just writing what I WANT TO WRITE. cringe culture’s dead.

[ficdirectory]

Disuphere Universe miniseries: The Early Years: Dominique

Jaimie Carter first saw Michael Williams in first grade.  Mrs. Samsel’s class.  1977.

She was outgoing, precocious, fun.  He was shy and quiet.  Could barely get his name out of him when the teacher took roll call in the morning.  Looked fit to pass out when he was picked to be leader for the day, while Jaimie said her daily “Here!” with gusto.  Pride.  While Jaimie led the Pledge of Allegiance, never needing to be told her right hand from her left.

Michael never did either.  He always knew.

They didn’t really talk.  Boys and cooties.  (Cooties were real, 6-year-old Jaimie was positive.)  But when she tripped over her shoelaces and fell on the playground, and all the other kids laughed and pointed?  It was Michael who came and tied her shoe for her - double-knotting it like a pro.

Then asking “You okay?” and offering her a hand up.

Jaimie told him yes, she was.  But didn’t take his hand.

But she remembers one time.  There was a spelling test, and Michael, definitely the best speller in first grade, had that fit to pass out look again.  Sweating.  Shaky.  Breathing fast.

Before the test started, Jaimie nudged him, whispering:

“Y-O-U A-R-E S-M-A-R-T.”

Hoping none of the other kids could spell as fast or as well, and none would overhear.  None did.

And Michael calmed down.  And he aced that test.

--

Jaimie didn’t see Michael Williams again until high school.  

So much had changed.  She had changed.

But the best parts of Michael hadn’t.  She remembered being surprised seeing him at his locker the first day of school - the one right beside hers.

“Hey.  Remember me?” he asked quietly.

And for the first time in years, a genuine smile grew right there on Jaimie’s face.

“Of course,” she nodded.  “Yeah, I remember you.”

They caught up between classes when they could.  They didn’t have any together, but Jaimie wished they did.  Like, really wished.  She did have plenty of classes with Rozariah Miller, her best friend, since the fourth grade.  She had a twin brother, Royal, and the three of them hung out.  A lot.

The thing is, now, Jaimie was kinda wanting Michael to come hang out, too.  But she wasn’t sure how Roz and Royal were about to take it.

“Oh, Michael Williams?” Royal asks, lighting up when Jaimie tests the waters.  “He’s cool.  He’s in my Honors English class.  Knows every single answer.  You want me to see if he wants to hang?”

--

By sophomore year, they’re dating, though Jaimie’s mom was firm on the idea that she not date til she was 16.  Jaimie invited Michael over, so he and Mom could get to know each other a little bit.  So Mom could feel more at ease around him.

“I don’t want y’all going anywhere just the two of y’all and gettin’ all hot and heavy…” Mom warned.

“No, ma’am.” Michael answers, before Jaimie can utter one embarrassed word.

“We were just gonna hang out with the Millers.  You know, as friends…” Jaimie insists.

“As long as you kids stay together.  No sneaking off.  You hear?”

“Yes, ma’am.  I hear you,” Jaimie nods.  “Love you, Mama.”

“Love you, baby.  Michael, you seem like a sweet child, but if I hear one word about you treating Jaimie wrong, you’re gonna wish you hadn’t,” Mama warns.

“Yes, ma’am,” Michael nods.  “I mean, no, ma’am.  I’d never treat her wrong, ma’am.”

--

Kids at school were mean.  To Rozariah and Royal, especially when they started going out as a whole group - the two of them - Jaimie and Michael.  Kids said the twins were dating each other.  Jaimie and Michael knew it was ridiculous.  Roz and Royal knew it, too, but their words still hurt.

They tried not to let it bother them as they’d go to the movies or for ice cream.

Before Jaimie knew it, it was the summer before senior year.  She and Michael had been dating 15 months.  Well, hanging out as a group, but still, it counted.

Michael had a way of paying attention to detail.  Of getting Jaimie exactly what she would have gotten herself.  He came into their aisle with a large bucket of popcorn, a Butterfinger and a Coke, all dropped off for her, as they settled in to check out this new Tom Hanks comedy, Big.

“How’d you know?” Jaimie asked, incredulous.

“I’m still pretty S-M-A-R-T…” Michael whispered in her ear.

Jaimie smirked, as he settled in between Royal and Roz, and Rozariah whispered in her ear.

“He knows what you like to eat!”

“Would you shut up?” Jaimie laughed.  “I know he knows what I like to eat!  We been dating each other more than a year.  If he didn’t know by now I’d be a little concerned.  Watch the movie…” But Jaimie’s heart still stuttered that extra beat thinking about how sweet it was.  For Michael to pay such close attention like he did.  That he cared so much about what made her happy.  Even if it was a giant tub of popcorn, a giant candy bar and a Coke.

“Fine,” Rozariah settles back in her seat and they watch.  All the while, Jaimie, tuned into Michael’s laugh.

At the end of the movie, they exit the theater, feeling that odd disappointment that it was time to face the real world again.  Jaimie went to Roz’s car, and before she could even open the door, Michael was there.

“I got it.  I got it.”

“Thanks.  And thank you...for the snacks…” she said, their faces just inches from each other.

They both leaned in, instinct.  Their lips touched.  “Mmm, you taste like grape soda.”

“You taste like Butterfinger, popcorn, and every one of my dreams, Jaimie Carter.”  He said, meaning every word.

Jaimie blushed and looked away.

“Okay, break it up, break it up,” Royal insisted comically butting between them.  “Michael, let’s go.”

“I’m going,” Michael echoed but remained rooted to the spot, staring at Jaimie.

“You wanna stand here in the parking lot while Jaimie, Roz and I go back home?  That’s cool,” Royal said easily, getting in his own car and revving the engine.

“See you back there,” Michael murmured.

“See you.” Jaimie whispered, her hand to her lips.

--

“You know, we dated for almost a decade?” Michael asked, alone in the dark of their first apartment.

“I do, in fact, know that,” Jaimie nodded, snuggled up to him in their too-small, perfect sized bed.  “It’s about time we did this…”

“What?  Got married?” Michael asked, leaning down to kiss her again.

“Mmm-hmm.  So happy Roz and Royal could come,” Jaimie remarked.

“Jaim, I love me a little R & R, okay?  But the two of them?  Have been on every single date with us.”

Jaimie wrinkled her brow.  “They have not.  We didn’t even go to college together.  It was you and me.”

“And you calling Rozariah every night after every single date.”

“Can I help it if she’s like my sister?” Jaimie scoffed.  “You called Royal.”

“He’s my man,” Michael said, feigning hurt.

“We don’t have to make our marriage a twin-free zone, do we?” Jaimie asked.  “I don’t wanna be one of those couples who has no friends outside of each other.”

“Nah, babe, I don’t want that either,” Michael agrees.  “But we’re best friends?”

“Always.”

--

Two years later, in October, Jaimie goes into labor at home.  

Thank God it’s a Saturday.  Thank God Michael’s there.  Because there is no way Jaimie would be able to do this alone.

Turns out, their baby waits for no one.  Not even her Mama to get to the car.  Jaimie stops as contractions seize her.  And cannot move.

Michael calls 911 because he can see the head.

“Michael Williams, don’t you dare pass out on me,” Jaimie gasps in the midst of contractions.

“They’re saying don’t push,” he says, and it’s ludicrous, because Jaimie is not in control right now.  

“She’s coming, Michael.  I have to push!”

She’s out in three.  Three pushes is all it takes to deliver their sweet baby, Dominique Nora Williams.  6:23 PM.  In their living room.  The ambulance arrives minutes later.

Dominique has a healthy cry.  She looks big.  (And weighs in later at a healthy eight pounds even.)  She has dark hair and beautiful brown eyes, which she opens to stare right at Jaimie.

They go home again as a family two days later.  The nursery she and Michael worked on together is perfect.  Decorated with pale yellow, white and gray.  Giraffes and elephants on the wallpaper border.

Jaimie doesn’t take naturally to being  a parent.  It’s hard.  Breastfeeding hurts - they never tell you that!  But Dom bites, especially when she starts cutting teeth.  Jaimie’s got all kinds of hormone problems, crying all the time, like Kirstie Alley in that Look Who’s Talking movie from the year they graduated high school.

(Oh, well, at least Jaimie knows she’s kinda normal.)

It helped that her mom was here to help the first couple weeks - thrilled that baby Dominique has her first name as a middle name.  Michael’s mom comes, too.  Later, and any help they can get is appreciated.

It takes until Dominique is about eight months old for Jaimie to even start feeling like she has a handle on things.

It hits her how lucky they are.  Dominique’s happy.  Babbling.  Eating well.  She’s loved.  She cries when she or Michael (especially Michael) even goes into the next room.  It’s hard on her that Daddy goes to work.  And she looks out the window each afternoon, slobbering on the glass in the window, pounding on it, screaming, “BabababaBABA!” until he gets there, swinging her into the air and making her giggle.

--

Her first real word comes just after she turns 1:

“I love you, baby,” Jaimie greets her, after naptime, one day.  (The same thing they say to her first thing in the morning, at night before bed, and several times throughout every day.)

“Awuy, bay-bee,” Dominique repeats, hugging Jaimie around the neck hard.

She reaches for Michael, who, thank God, came in behind her:

“Awuy, bay-bee,” she repeats, reaching and reaching for him.

“Dominique Williams.  Did you just say, ‘I love you, baby,’ to Mama and Daddy?” Jaimie asks, incredulous.

She nods, her head resting on Michael’s shoulder.

--

Jaimie doesn’t think much about it, until she has no choice but to think about it.

She’s mentioned it to Michael.  Briefly.  In a “a lot can change in eight years” kinda way in college when things started moving from kissing to more than kissing.

“Stuff happened to me.  As a kid, Michael.  And I don’t wanna talk about it.  Don’t know how to talk about it.  Just be careful.  And please don’t ask me.”

He’d respected that.  All these years and he’s never asked about it once.  He does ask if she’s okay, when she gets quiet, or worried.  But he’s never seen her panic.  She’s never seen it herself, ‘til it happens.  One day in January, 2001.

Two-year-old Dominique’s in the stroller, talking a mile a minute:

“Mama, I have gum?  Please?”

“Baby, I don’t want you having gum.  It’s gonna get everywhere,” Michael balks.

“I wanna have gum,” she whines.  “The ball kind.”

“Okay.  Let’s discuss it together, should we?” Jaimie interjects.

“Yes.  ‘Scuss it.  Annen I have it.”

“If we tell her what to do with it, she’ll learn.  Or she won’t,” Jaimie encourages.  “We can’t keep her in a bubble, Michael.”  

“But I want to,” Michael objects, sweetly, giving Jaimie a kiss.

“I know, but she’s a child, not a toy.  We gotta let her experience stuff.  Even gum…” she wrinkles her nose.

They talk to Dominique about gum.  Jaimie explains it’s a special candy that you chew.  “Not swallow.  When you’re done chewing, you spit it in a tissue.  Understand?”

“Yes, ma’am!” Dominique smiles.

“Good.  Now, you hang in there.  Do your best to be very good, and then on our way out, we’ll get a gumball.”

“I want yellow!”

“We don’t get to say what color we get,” Michael warns.  “Might be yellow.  But it might be another color.  Make sense?”

“But I want yellow gum, Daddy.”

“I hear you wanting yellow gum, babe, I do.  But Daddy can’t guarantee you yellow gum.  I’m sorry.”

“Yes, you can!  You big and strong!  For making yellow gum! ‘Kay, Daddy?”

Jaimie’s in the cereal aisle trying to pick out plain Cheerios without Dominique wanting every sugary kind there is, when she glances up.  Sees somebody who looks just like….

Her vision goes dim.  She can’t breathe.  Drops the cereal.  Turns desperate eyes to Michael.

“What is it?  Jaimie?” he asks.  

But she can’t answer.  Her eyes are full of fear, darting.  This is the part of life she never told Michael about so how will he know how serious this is?  Will he get it?  Will he believe her?  Help her?  God, she needs to get out of this damn store.  

Twenty-nine, and feeling every bit the child she’d been then.

“Okay.  It’s okay.  Jaim.  Leave the groceries.  We’ll go, okay?” he promises.

Jaimie clings to his arm as they leave the store.  Dominique’s sobbing and lunging at the gumball machine as they pass it.

“I bery good, Mama!  I bery good!” she sobs.

Jaimie’s crying, too.  

Somehow, Michael gets them all in the car.  Somehow, above the din, Michael can be heard, singing I Like to Be Told from Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.  Dominique is a big fan.  And Jaimie and Michael are big fans of songs that help Dominique sort out what she’s feeling and why.

It fits for Jaimie, too.  Everybody could use a little warning before their life gets spun and turned on its head.

Michael takes the time to explain to Dominique, who he is sure, even if she can’t understand every single word, understands more than they think she does.  Says he knows she likes to be told what’s happening.  And sometimes surprise things happen.  

“Big feelings come, poof!  Like magic, and change our plans.  Even for mommies and daddies.  Sometimes big feelings come too fast to tell each other.  But we all love each other still.  And it’s gonna be okay.  Daddy says it’s gonna be okay.”

“I want yellow gum,” Dominique says, quiet, in between gasps.  Tears still drying on her face.

“I know you do, Dom. and I know we said you could.  Mommy’s having some big feelings right now, so we gotta be with her.  And I won’t forget your yellow gum.  I know that matters to you.”

“Mommy, you havin’ big feelings?” Dominique asks.  “You cry?”

Jaimie can’t answer.  

“She’s having some big feelings.  But it’s okay to have big feelings, right?”

Dominique hesitates.

“What do Mommy and Daddy say when you’re having big feelings?”

Dominique fidgets with her carseat strap.  

“We say, ‘It’s okay.  Your big feelings matter,” Michael tells her, giving Dominique the words.

Jaimie feels like such a failure.  She can’t do anything.  She’s scaring her baby.

Dominique is still whimpering as Michael pulls into the local Dollar Store parking lot.  Jaimie’s frozen in the seat, not ready to get out and face anybody.

“You gonna stay here?  Dominique and I are gonna be right back.”

Jaimie can’t imagine what Michael’s buying right now, but they did just leave all their groceries behind.

In minutes, they come back out.  Dominique singing, I Like to Be Told with Michael now.  In her little hands, she’s carrying bubbles.

When they get home (which Jaimie can’t recall) she, Michael and Dominique all hang out on the deck.  Michael blows bubbles and Dominique shrieks and runs around popping each one.

It’s the day Jaimie decides she’s gotta get some help.

--

Dominique turns 3 at the end of 2001.  Has a Dragon Tales party and then gets to sleep over at Grandma Nora’s for the first time.  She comes home talking about Sesame Street and gingerbread cookies and Garfield sleeping bags.

Produces pages and pages of paper where Dominique has printed, in all caps, the sentence, I AM DOM.  She is beyond proud of herself.  Beaming.

“I’m three and I can write now!” she shares.  “Look at all this I wrote!”

“That’s so good!  Dominique, we’re so proud of you!  Did you and Gran have a good time?”

She nods, snuggled up against them.

Jaimie and Michael hang up every single paper.

--

In 2003, sometime after Dominique turns 4, the teacher calls Jaimie and Michael in for a meeting.

“You know your daughter’s printing?” the teacher asks.

Jaimie can’t read her tone.  It’s cryptic.

“Yes, we encourage her at home,” Jaimie offers.

“You know she’s reading?”  Now, it’s clear.  The teacher, maybe 22, is scoffing.

“Starting to, yes,” Michael nods.  

“She’s yelling out words during storytime.  It’s disruptive.  And her boasting about all the words she can print is hurting the other children’s feelings.”

“Are you suggesting we discourage her?” Michael asks, and Jaimie puts a hand on his arm.

“I got this.  Ma’am?  Dominique’s a good girl.  She really is.  She’s just proud of what she’s learning.”

“Maybe this isn’t the best place for her,” the teacher responds, finally coming to the point of the conference.

“You know what?” Jaimie asks.  “Maybe it isn’t.”

Michael follows her out, after Jaimie makes it official and withdraws Dominique.

In the car, he finally asks:  “So, what now?”

“I’m done with my counseling.  I can get a job anywhere, and you did just get that great offer in San Diego.  Maybe it’s time to make a move.”

He turns to her, and smiles, nervous.  “You know I don’t do change well.”

“I know,” she nods.

“But I’d go anywhere with you...and our gifted and talented daughter.”

She leans over.  Kisses him gently.  Briefly.

They get home and Dominique runs into their arms.  “Did my teacher tell you how smart I am?!” she asks, braids and beads bouncing everywhere.  Grandma Nora appears behind her.

“How smart are you?” Michael cues, knowing Dominique is asking to fill in this blank:

“S-M-A-R-T!”

“That’s right.  And your teacher told us you are so smart, you get to go to a whole different school!  What do you think of that?”

“With you and Mama, and Gran?” Dominique checks.

“Absolutely.  All of us together,” Michael reassures.

“Yay!”  Dominique cheers.  “We’re going on a adventure!” she wiggles to get put down and takes off.

“I think we made the right choice,” Michael muses.

“I think we did,” Jaimie smiles.  “I think we did.”

[dontshootmespence]

Christmastime with Kids

A/N: Day 5 of my 25 Days of BAU Christmas. This one is a contrast between Christmas morning with the LaMontagne Family and the Simmons Family. What’s it like with 2 kids? What about four?

“Mommy! Daddy! Wake up!” Jake, David, Chloe and Lily pushed the door open and jumped onto their parents, still sleeping after staying up late eating “Santa’s” cookies. 

Matt smiled in his half-awake state, pulling the covers over himself and Kristy. “Five more minutes.”

“But it’s Christmas!” Lily screamed, sitting her tiny, 40-pound body on his side. “It’s time for presents and looking at the tree and pancakes!”

Kristy began to stir, almost ready to get up, but Matt wanted to tease the kids for just a few more minutes. He so rarely got these uninterrupted times at home, so he wanted to take advantage of the little moments. “But Daddy’s sleepy,” he mumbled into the pillow. When they were a little older, he’d get to sleep in a little - at least he kept telling himself that.

“Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!” The children started to chant causing Kristy to giggle and push herself up. Despite the messy hair, she still looked beautiful, and their children were all happy and healthy; he couldn’t have felt more blessed. 

Just as he was thinking about how truly lucky he was, Kristy started to chant too. “Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!” They were his job.

“Alright, I’m up!” He laughed, grabbing his girls, one under each arm and and squeezing them tight. Standing up, he stretched out and got ready to bolt. “Last one downstairs doesn’t get any pancakes!”

Kristy just rolled her eyes. He really was a giant child. 

JJ and Will had been up late doing...things, the night before, so they were both startled awake by the boys banging on their bedroom. “Mom! Dad!” Henry called. “Michael is crying! He thinks Christmas isn’t coming because you won’t get up! Get up!”

Immediately, JJ bolted out of bed, with Will close behind, and ran into Michael’s room. “Hey, little man. Christmas is already here! Mommy and Daddy were just tired.” The three year old stopped crying, sniffling just a little bit as he looked at his big brother.

“That’s what I told him, but he wouldn’t believe me!” Henry already looked exasperated. At nearly 11 years old, he was starting to get to that age when dealing with a little brother was trying, but since it was Christmas, the tired parents could tell he was attempting to hold back his irritation. “Will you believe me next time Michael?” He nodded, his hand still holding the blanket that he was using to dry his tears. “Good, do you want bacon and waffles now?” That  he was interested in.

While JJ and Will trailed closely behind, hand in hand as they walked down the stairs, Michael and Henry hurried downstairs by the tree. Henry sat at the table, but Michael had other ideas. There was a pile of presents from Santa and he needed them now. “Michael, why don’t we have breakfast first?”

“Yea, I’m hungry,” Henry laughed. His stomach growled just at the right moment as if to scream ‘feed me.’ 

JJ looked between her boys. Christmas should be celebrated how people were comfortable and considering the age gap between them, it made sense to start doing things slightly differently. “How about we bring out the camera and you and I can take turns filming Michael and cooking breakfast for Henry? Then when Henry’s done eating, he can have the camera all to himself.”

“I like that idea,” Henry said, smiling at his mother. “You know how much the camera loves me.”

“You’re such a ham, boy,” Will laughed as he ruffled his son’s hair and brought out the waffle iron and a pan to fry the bacon. “You take the first turn with Michael, JJ.”

“Ready to open your first present?” JJ asked, watching as Michael impatiently waited for permission to open his first gift. 

Suddenly, the wrapping paper went flying.

Matt didn’t even try to sit down. He just ate pancakes right off the griddle as he passed them off to his kids and wife. “Is everybody full of pancakes now?” He laughed. The boys had chocolate chip residue all over their lips, and the girls resorted to each with their hands. But they all seemed content. “First things first, everyone needs to wash their hands and faces.”

“Otherwise Santa’s gifts will get all covered in chocolate,” Kristy laughed. 

It took a little bit longer for everyone to cleaned up than Matt had imagined, but that was Jake and David’s fault. They thought it would be fun to use the removable faucet on the sink to spray their parents, sisters and each other, so they all needed to change into dry clothes before opening their gifts.

As was tradition, Matt brought out the camera and handed his first gift to his wife. Mom always got to open the first present. “Matt it’s beautiful,” she said, staring down at the top. It was a brilliant white, cashmere cardigan. “It’s so soft. It’s amazing. I have no idea how much you spent on it.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell you,” he laughed, putting the camera down for a moment to lean over and kiss his wife. “Alright, each of you take one gift from the pile and wait for me to film. I want everything on camera.”

Once the children had a gift, they all went crazy, ripping the wrapping paper to shreds and throwing it in the air. It was almost like a cartoon, where the paper came down slowly enough to block their reactions to everything. “It’s a football!” Jake cried. He’d been wanting a professional one for a while now. David liked soccer more, so it was a soccer ball for him.

Little Lily loved basketball, always admiring the women she saw on tv, so Santa brought her a basketball, and last but not least, Chloe unwrapped a sketchpad and colored pencils, an avid drawer since the day she could hold a pen. “Okay, the next presents you open, you all need to chill,” he chuckled, “I wanna see your faces when you open them.”

As the four kids lunged toward the pile of gifts again, Kristy beamed. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

“Yea, me either,” Matt replied.

“Only one more present from Santa, little man,” Will said as he pushed the final package toward his youngest son. Michael had had entirely too much fun opening gifts, but he nearly had as much fun playing with the wrapping paper. As the paper went flying one more time, Michael’s face lit up. 

“Rocket ship,” he whispered, his eyes sparkling like the stars. It was an impulse buy. A $100 inflatable tube that was painted to look like a space ship and big enough for him to sit inside it. He’d been obsessed with space lately, so it seemed like a good bet. “Can I play in the rocket ship?” He lisped. 

“Of course you can. Daddy just needs to set it up,” JJ laughed. “Now Henry, it’s your turn.” The older child rubbed his hands together and ran to sit at the base of the tree. Unfortunately, a classmate had ruined the illusion of Santa for him the year before, but when he came home, he asked if that meant that she and Will had bought their gifts. When she said yes, he replied with, “That’s even better because that means you bought it with your own money. Santa just gives gifts to everyone, but that means that you and Daddy did it especially for us.”

JJ couldn’t have been more proud of him. “Remember,” she whispered, “”Since you’re older, your gifts are a little more expensive so there are less of them.”

“I know, Mom.”

Reaching over, he grabbed the first package and ripped the paper open. “It’s a rocket ship model!” He exclaimed, showing his gift and enormous smile to the camera. “Maybe Uncle Spencer could help me build it.” Ironically enough, Uncle Spencer was the one to tell JJ to buy it; he did know his godson well.

One by one, the gifts were opened and cherished. They’d bought him a few smaller things, like the model set, a nerf gun, and a basketball hoop for the back of his bedroom door, and two larger gifts. The first one he’d opened was a Star Wars lego set of the Millennium Falcon. Spencer was definitely going to want to help with that one. “Last one, Henry.” 

He rubbed his hands one more time, flashed the camera a cheesy smile and grabbed the final gift. It was in a giant box. “What could it be?” The year before, they’d bought a PS4 for the family, so this year they got him his own special chair. It was $150, but the look on his face was worth it. “Wait! Wait! Does this chair have speakers? I can use it to play my video games?”

“That’s what it’s made for,” Will said, as he put the final touches on Michael’s new rocket ship. “It’s really comfortable. I sat in one of them at the store before.” Henry hastily ripped the box open and dragged the chair out.

“Oh my god, this is amazing!” Henry ran into JJ’s arms and whispered, “thank you,” before going to do the same with his father. “I’m gonna go play games now!”

The opening of gifts was always over far too quickly, but every year, that hour or so was worth all the aggravation, money and time spent. A little later on, they’d be heading to JJ’s parents house for dinner, but for now, the house was quiet save for a few shots going off from Henry’s video game, and the giggle of their three-year-old, already on his way to space.

“Alright!” Kristy said, trying to project her voice over the chaos of a house with four children. They’d already opened almost all their gifts. “Each of you has one gift left. Jake, you first.” 

In an instant, the paper was on the floor. It was like he was The Flash or something. “It’s a skateboard! Can I outside and play with it?”

“In a few minutes,” Matt replied, “and you need to put on a coat. It’s cold outside!”

“Okay, I’ll go get changed!” The oldest boy ran up the stairs at the speed of light. Next was David. 

The younger boy’s eyes lit up. A set of connectable, giant foam blocks. He could make a fort with them. “I’m going to play with this now,” he said softly, turning the package away from his parents and little sisters. “I’ll be in my fort.”

Finally, were the twins, Chloe and Lily. Lily was their little tomboy. “Basketball?” 

“It’s a hoop for your room!” Kirsty said happily, pointing at the picture. A small play hoop could sit in her corner of their room, and she could shoot hoops until her hearts content - and she was old enough for a professional hoop. “You like?”

Lily nodded and turned to her father. “Can I put it in my room?”

“Once Chloe opens her last gift, I’ll help you.” That seemed to be enough, because she sat back and stared at her sister. 

Chloe had gotten almost all art-related gifts, and this last one was no different. In addition to loving art, she loved animals, so when Matt saw a giant paint by numbers in the store of elephants in the wild, he knew he had to buy it for her. “Elephants are my favorite!” She cried as she opened the package.

Matt spoke under his breath. “Score one for dad.”

While Chloe ran to the table to start coloring, Kristy and Matt picked the slew of wrapping paper up off the floor. After dropping it off in the garbage can outside, they both got changed so they could watch Jake play with his new skateboard. “Another successful Christmas morning, I’d say,” Kristy said softly, leaning her head on her husband’s shoulder. “They’re already getting so big.”

"True, but that’s the great thing about Christmastime. It doesn’t matter how old we get. When Christmas comes, we’re all kids again.”

@unstoppableangel8 @coveofmemories  @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @jamiemelyn @sexualemobitch @rmmalta @lukeassmanalvez @reddie-for-mileven @original-criminal-fanfics @sassygeek77 @rt8815 @amarislestrange @sarahkay-19 @bagelsofdoom @xxfeelmylovexx @psychoticantisepticeye @emllyprentiss @dsgirl4987 @captainreid @teatimewithtiya @queenanneslace4 @the-awesome-one-with-pigtails @tippy06 @ultrarebelheart @static-001 @remember-me-forever-silent-angel

[toongrrl-blog]

The Mommy Myth: Attack of the Celebrity Moms

Gonna try and structure it a lil’ bit different, hit it!

Debby Boone

January 1981, Ronald Reagan was inaugurated as president and Debby Boone, 1978 Grammy winner, poses with her three month old child for the cover of Good Housekeeping. Like her father who has oozed his brand of sanitized rock ‘n’ roll (as not to freak out white parents and grandparents), Debby has become a pioneer: the celebrity mom profile. Inside the issue we learned that baby Jordan eats very well and sleeps 8 hours a night (good) and he is healthy because Debby took SUPER GOOD CARE OF HER BODY during her pregnancy as she ate health food and weighed only a pound less than before she was pregnant (okay Deb), mostly due to healthy food and prayer (news to the church ladies my Mom knows), this was a surprise (okay), and baby Jordan loves music because his grandfather Pat Boone and great-grandfather Red Foley were musicians (well most babies like music and noise). The celebrity mom profile where she reminds the female reader that she is a poised, trim, stylish, perfect mother unlike you the mom who stresses over tax season, is a household drudge, and eats junk food when the kids are asleep.

Kirstie Alley

February 1994, Kirstie Alley (remember Cheers, Fat Actress, It Takes Two, and Look Who’s Talking?) invites In Style magazine into her fourth house in Bangor, Maine that she paid in with cash, a house that is like her: “at once down-to-earth and whimsical”. She’s a mom now with a “playful sense of style” that is evident by the decoupage grapes on her son’s highchair and was made to look antique and worn. One year old True (that’s his name!) has his highchair facing a ceramic pig holding a blackboard on which a new word appears to encourage his reading proficiency (never too early to start teaching kids to read!) We see Kirstie’s life is made easy with decorators, nanny, a cook, and personal assistants and True having two hour nap times (I will check with relatives of young babies and toddlers to see if possible) where Kirstie works out with a personal trainer and eats a fat-free lunch (well we know what happens when you diet for so long). Kirstie gushes about how “being a mother has given me a whole new purpose. Every day when I wake up it’s like Christmas morning to me, and seeing life through True’s eyes gives me a whole new way of looking at the world” (yeah I don’t know anyone who actually feels that way and what about those who found a purpose without having kids? Sorry charity volunteers and recovering alcoholics!) 

Flash forward to 1997 where Kirstie is star of the then-new Veronica’s Closet where she has a new man, new show, and a new baby. We learn her Maine home has fifteen bedrooms and she loves decorating this huge place, which includes a nursery-rhyme garden for True and baby Lillie. Kirstie talks about this facial treatment she has every morning where she blasts her face with oxygen and enzymes with a plastic hose hooked up to two pressurized tanks (guess Joan Crawford’s beauty regimen wasn’t hardcore enough?). 

Annie Potts

I admit there could be some bias here, I grew up on Annie Potts (Ghostbusters, Designing Women, Any Day Now, Pretty In Pink, GCB, Toy Story) so that might color my commentary (though I try to keep a bit of Susan J. and Meredith here). In California, we enter Annie Potts’s “Casa de Mayhem” (actually really cute, nice to see she nice great decorating sense outside of Iona’s fabulous digs) where her nanny corrals Potts’s 16 month old where a wing was built in the anticipation of the baby Jake’s birth (how?), where there is a darkroom for her husband, a bedroom for the assistant (late night slumbers?), and an office for Potts and also a pool. Somehow her white furniture remains immaculate (just like Megan Draper’s white carpet). Annie Potts believes that her son may be the reincarnation of her cat Gus and covers her chairs with cow-print vinyl.

Cheryl Ladd (Or a more Honest Time that was soon to be past)

During a different time Ladies Home Journal in March 1979 reported on Cheryl Ladd (Charlies Angels star and singer for Melody) as a mother where she admitted even with her household staff and her four year old with a nine year old’s vocabulary (by 1979 standards!) , it can be stressful which Goldie Hawn admitted to in smaller profile. Back then the celebrity moms were glamorous and embraced intensive mothering but they admitted it had it’s ups and downs, sentiments that were gone by the late 1980s where “motherhood was sexy” or “blessed”. Also the houses and toys became more lavish and the moms were always gushing with Whitney Houston stating she “never found anything more fulfilling than being a mother” (okay that makes me sad in hindsight, RIP Whitney and Bobbi Christina) and celeb moms saying they have transformed as people since having babies (babies are not reform school people nor life coaches). And was so awkward when Christie Brinkley said she got it right with her 3rd kid (no shade really, she was neat as Gayle Gergich). 

In Celebrity Momma land there was no such thing as postpartum depression, saggy tits, leaky nipples, extra fat or economic, political, and social barriers or sexism, racism, and classism or even bratty kids or lazy or tired partners. They were (in the words of Michaels and Douglas) “June Cleaver with cleavage and a successful career”. They were allowed to bring the kid to work and they were always in love with their husbands....until not (these gushing profiles were the equivalent of that couple on Facebook with the perfect photos but argued a lot in real life). And while most of us bounce between the hip cynic and the corny romantic, we can see through it but still feel insecure by it. 

Princess Diana (and the Rules of Celebrity Motherhood)

She was one of the most watched celebrity moms ever since her engagement to Prince Charles and even after the Royal Gyno certified her as a virgin and fertile in 1881...no I mean 1981 when she married him. Then in June 1982, William was born while she was around 20 years old. This girl clearly was picked by the Royal Family because she was young, pretty, not very assertive, fertile, and a virgin. He was her sister Lady Sarah’s ex-boyfriend and she thought he was hot since she was 16....keep in mind there is like a fourteen year age difference and she was a late teenager when they got engaged and married. The Press talked about his adoration for her and they had for a while the image of the picture-perfect family where nothing was wrong, she was naturally very thin and he thought she was the only woman in the world for him and wouldn’t want to be another woman’s tampon. Of course the cracks were obvi, early on, the Royal Family was all about projecting that image and Diana played along, being and playing devoted mom and she was, just she couldn’t be tired or want a lil space from the kids while the cameras were rolling. She even looked slim during her second (!) pregnancy! Which she timed perfectly. We now know that was a eating disorder. She had a ton of tasks on her schedule (charity) and often turned the kids over to a nanny but tried to give a normal life to her kids and expose them to people less privileged than they. Diana was a child of divorce, close to her younger brother, was depressed and bulimic, happened to marry a guy from a tradition bound family when she was starting to find herself, why does our culture encourage women to bound themselves to motherhood and marriage before they figured themselves out as people? And we know stuff about the Windsors as a family from The Crown. 

1. “The mom is gorgeous, in clear control of her destiny, and her husband loves her even more once she becomes pregnant and the baby is born.”

2. “They are always radiantly happy when they are with their kids.” And the kids are always happy too, as it reflects well on the moms...

3. “They always look and feel fabulous--better than ever--while pregnant, because they are nutrition experts and eat exactly what they should and have the discipline to exercise regularly. No varicose veins, no dreaded ‘mask of pregnancy’, no total exhaustion, no unflattering comparisons to Weber barbecue kettles or Chris Farley. And they time their babies perfectly. Control, control, control. 

4. “Whatever your schedule, whatever institutional constraints you confront that keep you away from or less involved with your kids, it must be clear that they are your number-one priority, not mater what.” Big thing when working moms were dealing with workplace rules making it hard to be there for their children and be on top at work.

5. “There must be some human frailties, some family tragedies, some struggles or foibles that bring the celeb down a peg, make her seem a bit more like us and allow some of us to identify with her.” 

6. “The celebrity mom is fun-loving, eager to jump up and play with the kids at a moment’s notice. She’s always in the mood. She never says, ‘Not now honey. I don’t feel like it. Mummy’s tired. Mummy’s too lazy. Roller-coasters make Mummy barf.”

7. “...truly good, devoted mothering requires lavishing as many material goods on your kids as possible.” You even have to be lavish with the nursery. 

Moms of Color

When the genre found it’s boom, Celebrity Moms were mostly white and straight (except for Rosie O’Donnell and the then-closeted Jodie Foster) and many writers and editors at women’s magazine said that white women don’t want to read about black women (crushing a soda can in my hand). Then women like Whitney Houston and Gloria Estefan started having kids and magazines like Ebony have done profiles like “The New Motherhood” and “The Joys of Being A Stay At Home Mom” where educated and employable black women became housewives (no statistics offered) and yes Ebony has always done that and spotlighted activists and their families. I also want to point out that the magazine has always been socially conscious, because Police Brutality and racism are still alive, with recently black celebrities posing with their sons as a statement against the police killings of young black people.

Now Susan J. Douglas and Meredith Michaels ask: should moms of color be glad to be celebrated with this lofty pedestal or be concerned about how fragile this pedestal is? I think Jodie Landon says it all.

Why all this matters

The Celebrity Mom profile presented a narrow view of motherhood not afforded to many ordinary mothers (whether you are of color or white, working class or middle class, have many kids or just one, are religious or spiritual or atheist, stay at home or part-time or salaried) cannot live up to. Celebrity Moms have existed for a long time but when the 1980s came, that is when motherhood practically became even more of a sport or a performance about how one can be the perfect supermom and make those who feel ambivalence feel like they are terrible mothers who ate too many junk food and were always tired, and had photos with no photoshop or personal trainers or stylists. In the Reagan era, being wealthy was chic: “trickle-down” economics, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, dramas about wealthy people, ads from Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren that breathed new life into the preppy look, Merchant Ivory films focusing on wealthy people in the old days and Mommie Dearest was a bestseller on the bookshelves and the theaters that made publicists very busy. 

Also let’s talk about the beginnings of People magazine. In 1974, after market researchers for Time magazine noted that readers read the “People” section first before reading other parts of the magazine, Time-Life launched People magazine. Following was Us Weekly in 1977 and then the tabloids started doing more celebrity journalism, even local TV news magazines like Evening which gave way to Entertainment Tonight and then we heard the more serious news shows talking about celebs. Also while we were turning away from “experts” who were never moms or did diapers, we looked for role models as we needed to be role models and Celebrity moms were women who had lucrative and high-paying jobs and motherhood; they were also attractive role models as they suggested an alternative to being a frumpy or presentable-but-in-the-background or sexless has-been after having kids. Then women’s magazines started featuring more celebrities and they have before but now more so than ever. Redbook magazine, according to an anonymous employee who reported to Douglas and Michaels, said that the magazine conducted focus groups to see which celeb would sell the best: one year it was Kathie Lee Gifford, a few years later it was Meg Ryan, also headlines with words like “a tragedy” “triump” or “a secret” or a combo sold like hotcakes. This is not to suggest people working the magazines or the celebs keeping their brand were calculating cynics, just take things with a grain of salt...

What about Regular Moms?

Let’s give up for the Joan Holloways, Trudy Campbells, Betty Drapers, Karen Wheelers, Rochelle Rocks, Debbie Eagans, Tamme Dawsons, Peggy Olsons, Megan Drapers, and Joyce Byers of the world. Who while reading this piece of treacle, are dealing with unhelpful or tired or abusive husbands or having no husband, struggle with feedings and diaper changes, with loving their babies and missing their old lives, and with having a bit of weight after baby or had to fight it off and still find that things are very different. Who had their sleep disrupted after baby and spent a good chunk of their day in curlers. The Moms who felt sick, swollen, fat, gross, un-sexy during their pregnancies or even sans pregnancy, and never had that “glow”. Basically the moms doing all they can for their kids and have their own demons to exercise and are made to feel bad by their role models; some of them didn’t have role models (like their Moms don’t understand the context of their lives). 

Celebrity Mom profiles bring up the same stereotypes that plagued women like Betty Draper and Karen Wheeler: that women are all nurturing and maternal, love all children, and prefer motherhood to anything even work and are the main responsible figures. Also add the competition from consumer culture of pitting moms against moms and encouraged self-loathing in women. 

To ordinary mothers of America, those of us lacking the staff of a French chateau, and the joyful outlook that goes with it, these ceaseless profiles of celebrity moms with their perfect children and perfect lives are a rebuke, a snub, and a warning. Fail to get with the program and your kids will not make the grade, your husband won’t look at you the way he used to, and, worst of all, other mothers will see you for what you are: an unworthy loser, a bad mother. 

To all the Women stuck with the Second Shift, homeschooling, keeping the home afloat along with their careers during this Pandemic, thank you. Shout out to the Lois Foutleys working the front lines while they deal with their families and to the Helen Morgendorffers who wish they were at work (really, don’t let any “having a child is more important than a career” people make you feel bad). And to the essential workers like Joyce. 

[nobordersonlybuttcheeks]

Ok so I finished Hellraiser, I fucking loved it. (CW I'm gonna be talking about sexual abuse)

Christ there's so many details and recurring themes I could try and get into, I don't know where to place a lot of the symbolism and I feel like those areas are up to any interpretation. But ultimately this movie was about sexual abuse and the importance of consent. Nothing felt titilating for a male audience to me, the movie mostly felt like a realistic display of the disgusting, deeply uncomfortable and ugly pov of the often unnoticed little ways men push, prod, disrespect and negotiate womens consent as well as demand and insist control over us. The whole process of it that snowballs down and crosses into attempted sexual abuse is the real terrifying part. Kirsty trying to get past the movers as they behave creepily to her, the bearded guy eating bugs in front of her as she has to shout at him to finally listen to her and leave, the doctor locking her in her room, etc. She gets more and more assertive towards these men until she has to defeat the Cenobites in the end, and if you pay attention when her bf tries to take the cube from her to try and save the day she firmly yanks it back to finish the job herself. Julia gets similar treatment, and I believe you could interpret her as haunted by a sexually manipulative and abusive relationship. Frank haunts her, still pressuring and pushing her to put him above anyone else, including herself. Even though he's the only intimate partner she has in the movie she seems to enjoy, their sex scenes are aggressive and gray. When she hesitates he pushes, when he tries to leave her she negotiates to doing anything he wants and he stays under those conditions. So when the men she lures home get pushy about her consent ("you're not fucking backing out now are you??") it pushes her over the edge to murder. Even her husband, when sexual intimacy is too haunted by Frank, he's not concerned for caring about her screaming "no", he only feels sorry for himself and gets an attitude with her. The symbolism with doors, people peaking out of them, doors shutting people in and out, I’m sure there's many layers and dimensions to it, but the one I see most is the way sexual abuse happens behind closed doors quietly. This leads the survivors to stay shut behind the doors hiding their suffering and remaining isolated, secretly coping in harmful ways behind their locked doors. The final time a door closes on its own is after Kirsty traps the Cenobites in the cube, escapes the house, and watches it close up with her OUTSIDE of it, letting her pain and trauma burn as she finally walks away. The Christian symbolism isn't as prominent, but that's a common theme in stories of SA. The nuns staring at Kirtsy judgementally as she walks away from the incident with her uncle Frank with blood on her. The stigmata and crucifixtion of the abuser. The way he's torn to bits and left in pieces of himself could be interpreted as fair punishment since that's a way surviving SA can be described as feeling like. A crucial, crucial detail is that the boyfriend that helps her escape is the man in the story that loves her and honors her consent. He almost gets taken by the punishing Cenobites, but he survives unlike the other men in the film who assert control over the female characters. He even gives Kirsty his jacket like a gentleman after the final battle. As for the cenobites, I don't have much of a clue of what their designs represent or what their purpose is since they were also after Kirsty. Anyways Hellraiser fucks those were my thoughts. Edit: I think the Cenobites represent sex as a whole, if its healthy loving and consensual, its pleasure, if its abusive and nonconsensual its pain. ("We are pain and pleasure"). That's why their morality is unclear, its because like sex they're just there, just a fact of life that can go either way. Goes hand in hand with the way they look like bdsm monsters who chain people up, bdsm can be a positive wonderful aspect of someones life, or it can be abusive addictive and mentally deteriorating.

hello everyone so i’m watching Hellraiser for the first time and um am i crazy or is her hair getting taller with each kill

[resmarted]

here i am again, smashing the crystal vases and good china, ravaging the beautiful dining room and chucking antiques across the room. i want to be done here, i want to be done here! i want to move on, but to what? i can’t remember how to even be a person, i can’t find the light and this tunnel is so dark and endless, we don’t even have headlights to guide us. i came here to bring you on a date in the stylings of nineties classic it takes two starring kirstie alley and the olsens, except instead of mka we are switching them out for young taylor swifts, that’s right two of them, which is all i could think about the entire time i rewatched it again. so here goes nothing, we open on a street corner in philly because this is our version and the ahhccents are gonna be mewr sewth philly than ahhhnything. taylor swift number one, let’s call her taytay the scrappy orphan that has self-professed lousy english like aintcha gonna wanna git ewta here before they catcha? nobody even blinks and in pigtails and a worn out backwards baseball cap on her head, this ten year old who is probably played by an eight year old swift bc coming from a fellow tall person we just sprout from the crib it’s nuts, i’ve always looked older than i was from being tall. so eight year old swift is playing ten year old scrappy orphan taytay who is always chewing gum and has a baseball bat as kirstie alley (YOU.) look out the window and yell at her like, cmahhn tay! you got an appt with the butkis’ and i told u not to get that dress dirty! and tiny taylor chewing gum is like awww cuhmuhhhhhn doi-anne! just lemme knahck this one outta the pawrk first! that’s not the line it’s something else referencing the fact that they’re playing in the middle of the street of their inner city neighborhood. she is the pretty white girl of the orphanage so it makes no sense she hasn’t been adopted but is of course the star athlete of the kids and favorite of the social worker you-kirstie alley. she is accosted by kids and called a reject and lil taytay’s all why i awwwghta! she’s making her best >:| face, and pop goes the weasel she hits the ball and probably breaks a window or something and as she runs to the cab the kids are like, the butkis ppl are creeps that collect kids! and taytay is tayrrified before threatening the other kids with her fists in the air as the cab drives away. cut to a close up of a nineties cellphone and private plane landing, and taylor number two is wearing a practical pantsuit in beige and just won another piano competition, and she overpronounces all of her t’s at the end of her words. let’s call her fancita. yes i’m serious, i’m already so tired and bored of this story, it was way more exciting after rewatching the other night. whatever this story is just a remix of the parent trap anyway and that’s why we have two baby swifts and don’t ask me why, don’t ask me why i’ve taken you this far down the rabbithole but let’s just keep going until we find each other. so fancita is an aristocratic princess that plays tennis and i don’t know, i’m just trying to get to the part where they are like omg let’s get this social worker and rich man who has a cell phone company before that’s even a thing, and while orphan taytay is in danger of becoming the next adopted butkis - which in this version is just straight up trafficking ring i mean come on, they were pedos and it was heavily insinuated in the movie, but basically she’s in danger of being adopted into an abusive hellhole and fancitay is like hey girl hey! when her butler arrives to pick her up from her private jet. the nineties always portrayed wealth with these long ridiculous limos and british butler limo drivers, which as we now all know rich people are just driven in cars w tinted windows and the only people riding in limos are seniors in high school, but i digress. she meets her new soon-to-be stepmother, also played by taylor swift, present day style. she’s all, when i was your age i had already been through three stepmothers, you’ll be in a tibetan boarding school as soon as the wedding is over tomorrow! for this she is in her satanic red high priestess dress from lwymmd, golden snake rings at all. actually let’s just say at some point she’s bathing in diamonds as well, i mean there are many versions of her current snake-embraced image that we can use for this but that’s not the point, it is that im not even in love with grown taylor swift! i am just trying to fill the void of my dead wife who loved children and built a camp conveniently across from the literal castle we live in. i haven’t been there since, pushes back hair like sigh, since she died ten years ago right after fancitay was born. i’m all, cell phones, i hate the damn things. back when i invested in them everyone thought it was just something out of star trek and now i’m a lonely billionaire marrying snake taylor in a haze of confusion and thinking that’s what i should do, fancita needs a mother after all. you’re a tough talking protective mama bear that wants to adopt orphan taytay but you’re just a social worker and what? the butkis’ already had the paperwork go through to adopt her?? i come to find you after a failed horse meetup planted by the taylor twins to apologize for leaving you to get yelled at by steptaylor, and you’re like look keep your fancy cell phone company lifestyle and keep it moving, bucko! in the movie they get into a food fight but i’m not trying to go that deep, but basically we fight until you, an enraged four foot two version of kirstie alley okay you’re actually just a tiny goth and i’m a clumsy ogre, that part never changes. you push me with all your might, not necessary trying to push me into the river but it happens and i’m all, oh my god i feel like a kid again! this must be love! okay but seriously, that part’s the realest. i do feel like a kid again, and this must be love, mustn’t it? what will our tiny taylors tell us? we don’t know what it is or why, but it makes sense because we feel it, i can feel you. even when you say to your fellow social worker friend (played by your bandmate and beloved drummer) guys like that only date girls with food names like candy or muffin or cookie, and princess taylor disguised as orphan taylor turns around from her archery practice, greatly offended and snapping back, his dead wife was a teacher that loved kids and built this camp and she wasn’t a food her name was kathy with a k played by kourtney in a brief shot of her glamorously in a casket but dripping in jewels and hands delicately crossed over her chest. whatever, goth kourtney fantasies are not the point ok i know that. you look at princess taylor disguised as pauper taylor and are like well excuse me jeez, you don’t gotta bully me over it. sigh so then the state comes for her and accidentally send my daughter to some terrifying child sex ring that nightmares are made of and turned into dateline episodes, and this one is no less horrifying. orphan taylor shows the butler various scars and marks and bruises to show that she’s a fraudulent child that happens to just be another cute blonde that adults didn’t look closely enough at and notice bc they aren’t actually twins in this story, they’re just strangers that look alike. which honestly is prob when they first really started making the olsens insane irl like, pitting them against each other by pointing out fraternal differences and how one was the cute one the other was just the sister oh, don’t even get me started, dear. steptaylor comes home with ultra long extensions like repunzel after sneaky orphan taylor put gum in her hair. the original she gets it all cut off and suddenly her loss of beauty is signified by a short haircut which is so dumb and we just can’t agree with something so stupid, so in this she comes back with thousands of dollars worth of hair that isn’t hers just to prove her worth and appeal, which honestly is much sadder than a short sassy do any day. we get to the home of the butkis’ but no one answers and a neighbor who in the actual movie looks exactly like mike, like no shit just put a bass on him and it’s like every dude in a band probably but him specifically - unless i hallucinated it, the point is! he originally says oh that guy works those kids into the ground at the factory all day, or something like that, but in this version maybe he just shudders bc everyone just gets the pervy vibe from this butkis guy. the door gets kicked in as they are just about to initiate her into the butkis cult of abuse, and i don’t know i think it just ends with like, kirstie alley and the dad kissing? like they don’t get married or anything i don’t think. which leaves so many questions open like, if they do end up getting married, will the taylors become friends? will fancita resent taytay for taking up space and attention away? or will she be so grateful for good mother that everything will be fine and normal and fall into place? it seems like they’re all destined to end up on doctor phil. i mean, what happens when this bonehead (me) doesn’t continue to invest properly and his dumb luck cell phone business inevitably plummets because by the late nineties they’re a dime a dozen and each one is a sinking ship. what happens when they go bankrupt and all have to be poor, will they stay together? will princess taylor be like this is all your fault you’re bad luck with your poor people vibes! bc she can’t understand the crashing economy and how this is just what happens to people, one day you can be rich and the next totally broke, and it’s not really anyone’s fault. are you going to still love me even though i am horrible at saving money is what i’m asking? like, can you just quietly move money around in my accounts for me and put stuff in my savings when i’m not looking? because if i see literally any extra change i’m going to be like time to go eat giant cheeseburgers and drink ourselves into a coma! i got a groupon for a hotel stay in florida, let’s road trip! i know what your biggest concern is besides money and it’s because i know you like the back of my head (not at all), but the answer is no, steptaylor drowns in a sea of snakes at some point because i don’t have time for a decent end for her. i feel like it should be more feminist, like maybe she gets a job slinging mary kay and in the process realizes not only is she a boss at making her own income but that she doesn’t even need the amount of makeup she had been using before. she has like her own spiritual journey in the background somewhere far, far away from us and our super exclusive love, as well as our twin daughters taylor one and taylor two. i have completely forgotten their names by now but i’m just here to see if you even still love me. well? do you??? i’m just trying to prepare you for when i’m like, starting every other sentence with “you know when my wife died…” at really inappropriate times like, to a cashier in the checkout line or just in bed when we are having a romantic evening that i was bound to spoil in one way or another, so it may as well be with dead wife talk. you will probably just laugh and attempt to smother me with a pillow for being so, so embarrassing. i miss you i love you i hate you i don’t know you. i want you. do i ever even say anything else anymore? i mean it is halloween season so technically i don’t have to be original, right? you are the only ghost i could ever truly love, and that’s saying a lot seeing as how i arrived to this world haunted. pls tho, don’t ever stop being my best boo.

[rather-impertinent]

tagged by one of my fave humans @tiffanyachings

THE LAST: 1. DRINK - orange lucozade 2. PHONE CALL - my dad 3. TEXT MESSAGE - my sort of friend Kirstie 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO - The One I Love - David Gray 5. TIME YOU CRIED - about half an hour ago bc I really don’t want to go back to a local festival tonight and my entire body hurts from drinking and dancing and people throwing shit last night but my parents are making me

HAVE YOU EVER: 6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE - yes because I’m a confirmed IDIOT 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT - yep above person’s best friend 8. BEEN CHEATED ON - yes, hence why I kissed my ex boyfriend’s best friend (what a lovely wee story this made lmao) 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL - thankfully not but one of my German lecturer’s died the other day and he was super nice so that was sad 10. BEEN DEPRESSED - i don’t think so 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP - NOPE AND IT’S MY PROUDEST ACHIEVEMENT 12. LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: lilac, green and yellow (but like pastel yellow)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 13. MADE NEW FRIENDS - yeah quite a few but they all live so far away :( 14. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE - no 15. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED - many times 16. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU - yep 17. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU - yes! My friend Hanna, who I met recently, inspired me to go vegan and I feel like it’s made me kinder to people as well as animals and also now my skin is clear which is awesome ayyyy 18. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE - definitely!!

GENERAL: 19. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: no :( 20. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: yeah my name is shite 21. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: I taught 7 english classes and none of the teachers knew it was my birthday haha and then I got drunk in a wee Austrian pub with my 2 American friends and petted a kitty 22. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: ew like half 6 23. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: eating leftover curry and drinking water 24. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: caroline and dwight to get proper screentime on poldark (I’m keeping this Theo lmao) I’m pretty excited to go on holiday to Gran Canaria in 3 weeks! 25. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: about 10 mins ago 26. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: stop taking EVERYTHING so seriously 27. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: You’re In Love With A Psycho - Kasabian 28. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: yes 29. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: my parents and their inability to leave me the fuck alone, the German language, debbie horsfield, life 30. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: this hellsite 31. HAIR COLOR: brown but it’s really ginger in the sunlight?? 32. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: medium 33. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: no, men are disgusting and sadly I’m not attracted to women 34. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: I’m pretty funny and I like to think I’m kind to people 35. PIERCINGS: just my ears 36. BLOOD TYPE: I have absolutely no idea 37. NICKNAME: Meggy, Shorty, Meg, Megs (I only let my Austrian friend call me this bc I hate it but I didn’t know her well enough to tell her not to lmao) 38. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single 39. PRONOUNS: she/her 40. FAVORITE TV SHOW: poldark 41. TATTOOS: none 42. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: right 43. SURGERY: yeah 44. SPORT: I hate exercise because I’m lazy but I used to love playing football 45. VACATION: I want to go to Canada! 46. PAIRS OF TRAINERS: sketchers are my fave 10/10 so comfy

MORE GENERAL: 48. EATING - I’m gonna go make ramen in a minute and also have toast and a bowl of soup bc I’m v hungry 49. DRINKING - lucozade 50. I’M ABOUT TO - go make lunch 51. WAITING FOR - this fuckin day to be OVER 52. WANT - infinite money, abs, an oscar 53. GET MARRIED - hell yeah it’s gon be pretty af with lots of men in kilts everywhere you are all invited after I find a man first lmao 54. CAREER - I think I’ll become a Gaelic teacher, or move to Austria and teach English. I always wanted to be an actress but I let drama girls treat me like shit when I was 11 so now I have no self confidence so that’s not happening lmfao 55. HUGS OR KISSES - hugs 56. LIPS OR EYES - eyes 57. SHORTER OR TALLER - taller 58. OLDER OR YOUNGER - older 59. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH - can I have both?? 60. SENSITIVE OR LOUD - sensitive I cry at everything lmao 61. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT - hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 62. KISSED A STRANGER: no 63. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: yes 64. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: haha yes 65. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yes 66. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: no 67. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: yeah but I’m not sorry because he’s a prick 68. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: yes 69. BEEN ARRESTED: no 70. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yes 71. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: me and my ex bf were friends before we dated so yeah I guess

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 72. YOURSELF: lmao no my self esteem is like -2 73. MIRACLES: yes 74. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: sure why not 75. SANTA CLAUS: nope 76. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: it depends on what type of person you are, why not 77. ANGELS: yes!! I definitely have a guardian angel! honestly some weird shit has happened in my life that like.... shouldn’t have?? But nah angels are real can confirm

OTHER: 78. CURRENT BEST FRIEND’S NAME: I don’t have one 79. EYE COLOR: blue-green 80. FAVORITE MOVIE: I really love The Imitation Game

I tag @pxggycxrters, @musicalmedic and @butterflydy x

[interesting-piece-of-trash]

Thin Walls (Scomiche) Prologue

Kirstin's POV:

"Your papi so wishes he was here to see you off honey. He loves you so much and he's going to miss you." My mamma told me as I finished hugging my three lovable little siblings.

"I know mamma, but it's not his fault. I wish he was here too, but he has to work. Which reminds me. As soon as I get out there I'm gonna get a job that pays well and you can put my allowance to getting Lilly those singing lessons she wants." I bopped Lilly on the nose.

"I want to sing as good as Krusty-Kirstie." Lilly giggled. I gave her an extra long hug before I went to hug my mama goodbye.

My family was true to the sayings of being big and happy. We all love each other to death but we aren't as financially stable as we could be. Two of my little siblings aren't in school yet so my mamma stays home to look after them and the house. That means my papi is always working to pay for six people with one paycheck. My papi taught me to be a hard worker, I just wish he was here to see the moment I leave for college.

"I love you darling, and I'm going to miss you so much" My mom said through tears and gave me a bone-crushing hug.

"I'll miss you too mama." I squeezed one last time before taking my bags and walking to the door. "I love you mama!"

***

Kevin's POV:

"We are so proud of you son, and I know you are going to go out there and keep making us proud." My dad said as he gave me a man hug.

"My smart little boy grew up so fast." My mom cried as she pulled me into a long emotional hug. "I'm going to miss you so much. Go show those college people how brilliant my amazing son is!"

"I love you guys so much." I finally pulled away from my mom and wiped her tears away. "Bye mom. See you guys later."

***

Scott's POV:

"Bye squirt." I ruffled my little brothers hair as I walked by but he got up and hugged me instead.

"You're leaving already?"

"Yeah." I leaned down to hug him back. "Try not to burn the house down while I'm gone."

"That was one time!" he immediately released me. "You're probably going to burn your whole campus down the first time you try to cook something."

"Touche." I ruffled his hair one last time before turning to my parents.

"Bye mom, Bye dad. I'll miss you." I hugged them both.

"Bye son. Try not to break anything while you're there."

"Here you go honey." My mom handed me a sandwich in a plastic bag. "In case you get hungry on the way there. I love you!"

I gave my mom one last hug before leaving.

***

Mitch's POV:

"Mike, I'm leaving now." As expected, I don't get a response. I'm not even sure if he can hear me when I speak. But I talk to him anyway because he's all I have. Which actually means I am all I have. Maybe after I'm gone he'll actually go to the kitchen to get something to eat without me. When I was deciding what to do after high school, I almost ruled out college because I was so scared he'd starve without me bringing meals to his room. I still am really worried about that, but I'm done with letting his depression rule my life if he wasn't even going to try to get better.

All he ever does is lay in his bed and stare at the wall.

"I'm going to college Mike. I'm leaving now."  Not even a blink.

"Mike!" Nothing.

I put my hand on his shoulder and shake him a little. His stare turns from blank to glaring as if the wall he refuses to look away from had stolen something from him. Maybe it did, after all it stole my father from me.

With that barely there response, I get up and leave the house. Time for a new and hopefully improved, life at college.