#she's a very smart woman but she struggles a lot with lyrics

[practically-an-x-man]

My mom: I don't know why the radio blurs out the word "chick" in Hot & Cold

Me: .... because Katy Perry isn't singing chick there

[andoqin]

Shows I've watched in 2021 pt 2

These are the shows that I watched and finished.... but man do I fucking regret doing that now for a lot of them. Often the show shat the bed or i just watched it and wasted my time and I should have just dropped it. There are some in here that I feel mostly blah about, that I finished mostly because i was heavily skipping through :(

The Veil - Nam Goong Min got *really* buff and roughed up for this one. And I like action-y shows and they made the smart decision not to make it 16 eps, but man, the mystery and writing was so blah, the plot points so forseeable and while I appreciate Nam Goong Min really transforming himself he also just got stuck in "Badass Mofo" mode and it kinda felt like I was seeing him struggle to act like that. I gave it a 6.5 bc he does try very hard and with 12 episodes and some skipping it's not a total chore.

The Silent Sea - Gong Yoo and Bae Doona doing a short Scifi show? Sign me tf up, AND Lee Joon is also there. The cast was fuckig stellar, but uh there were supposed to be smart people on the station and it *really* really didnt feel like there were. For plot convenience everyone got to be an idiot at least for some time and I honestly think that it would have been better off as a movie because some plot threads felt very "red headed stepchild". Plus as a movie I possibly wouldn't have started wondering how the presentation of the premise and the premise as a whole even work... 7/10 because the acting is good, the cgi is also pretty good and I wanna support scifi stuff and I'm maybe giving it a bump for Gong Yoo and Bae Doona that it doesn't quite deserve.

The Tasty Florida and You Make Me Dance - two outings from Koreas recent push into BL content that are blessedly short but also don't really offer anything new and the acting and writing is suspect at best sometimes. Thankfully both are blessedly short, so it's not like I wasted a lot of time. They both get 6.5 stars but I think YMMD does have better acting than TTF.

Hellbound - For a 6 episode show it sure knew how to tank after only 3 eps, I mean damn. Yoo Ah In sells his role pretty well, as is expected of him, but the shoddy CGI monsters just feel hilarious and weird and not scary. While I do think that the opening is very well done the tension just starts to bleed out and Kim Hyun Joo's character get's to be a badass... but also how? I mean I'm glad she got to kick ass but I just felt like the latter half expected me to just go with it in a way that made me go "uhhh nah". 7/10 but honestly only bc I did enjoy the first half the latter half is like a 4.5

LUCA: The Beginning - OH MY GOD where to fucking start with this show. 8 eps of all I wanted and then it just lobotomises Lee Da Hee's character and then the ending is just the fucking cherry on the shit sundae. I was honestly *really* vibing with the way this show was using its athmosphere to sell its story, and even the (completely nonsense lyric) OST song was a fucking banger and Kim Rae Won was great in the role, but my god the writing. The writing is the block of cement around the shoes of this drama, dragging it to its death. This plus the next entry really made me wary of livewatching anything in 2021 because christ. It gets 6.5 stars only because the first 8 eps were pretty much 9-10/10 for me and so strong but the last 4 eps are like a 2/10 at most.

Mr. Queen - Fuck this show and the homophobic horse it rode in on. 19 eps where Shin Hye Sun gets to deliver the role of a lifetime, just nailing every single beat and doing the silly (and very funny) humor with a gusto that is rarely seen, plus a slow developing romance between a king and his queen who changed so radically but finally also sees him for who he is, plus the show even had the king let go of his first love in a way that felt organic and believable. The bad guys were a bit eh, but the show was being hard carried by SHS acting her heart out as the modern cook Bong Hwan now caught in the body of a woman in the past. The slow emotional connection that Bong Hwan built up with the king was a highlight of the show for me and I really felt like they had captured the essence of the cdrama original, but well then ep 20 happened, well specifically the latter half and the show thrust me and its general audience the middle finger and expected me to believe the genuine connection between the king and Bong Hwan (who was influenced by the previous' souls feelings which I will believe) was... pretty much all the previous soul who was just hanging around in the body and when it came to ~skinship she came back out and it went pretty much uncommented in the latter half of the show.... Yeah no, I could write a wholeass rant why the show did not earn the ending it gave me. 3/10 only because I really liked the show previous to the ending.

The Uncanny Counter - This show is not as bad as the previous 2 entries, but the plot really wasn’t made for 16 episodes. The main character really began to grate on me and I felt like the villain(s) only got by for so long because the script demanded that our protagonists turn into idiots. I didn’t mind the found family stuff, in fact that was ace but I was also not really into the way the show struggled to make it work, because the main character had a life outside the found family. Once again the writing wasnt really strong enough to support it during its entire run and while it didnt shit the bed as badly as the previous entries this drama should have been 12 episodes at most. 7/10 but a very low 7 I’d say.

Dali and the cocky prince - Another show I felt struggled to support its 16 episode run, plus the ~mystery and plot was paper thin. I also found Dali as a character to be wholly frustrating (not to mention her hair) and Moo Hak really was making me cringe in second hand embarassment a lot. I did like their shenanigans and their romance was cute and the characters do feel like they belong with each other but theirs just wasnt a story that didnt vibe with mine. I felt myself nodding along with the “traitor” in the gallery more often than not because Dali really seemed like she had her head in the clouds to a lot of things and I guess rich airheads just don’t do it for me. 6.5/10

Squid Game - The drama that took the world by storm... for some reason. I’m a big fan of death game type stories and netflix put out Alice in Borderland last year which I loved (for the most part) but SG is just fucking stupid and everyone in it is an idiot. The hype about it didnt help, but I watched it before it became a Global Phenomenon so it’s not like that influenced my opinions. The fact that *none* of the hundreds of participants (other than I guess the best friend antagonist) thought about how to game the system seems mind-boggling to me. Coupled with the fact that there are only 3 very simple rules for each game and they’re always the same and they are literally shut in place with nothing to think about the rules and the games I would have liked some more ingenuity. Plus the games were kinda eh and then the last episode was terrible and turned Gi Hoon into a fucking asshole and still expected me to like him and I was like no thank you. I will not be watching the sequel since I doubt the writer has the chops to course correct if this is what SG looks like after he’s been thinking about it for 10 years. 5/10

Move to Heaven - This one wanted to be a big tearjerker and I have a big soft spot for Lee Je Hoon, but other than one episode (the first one iirc) none of the plots moved me even as I felt the writing desperately trying to tug at my heartstrings. Maybe it’s because I have the stellar Tatortreiniger a German half hour comedy as a comparison, where the poignancy is only ever hinted at and the script just full of gags that only creep up on you because in the end, cleaning up after a dead person is just a job. It can be moving, it can be touching but often it’s a bit mundane and the comedy is about that. Idk I guess I just like that view of it a lot more (Go watch Tatortreiniger if you can!) 6/10

Law School - I watched this on the strength of a few gifsets that crossed my dash and while I don’t regret it and I think the acting is fine it also didn’t really blow me away and I didn’t really retain anything from my watch. 6.5/10

Mad for Each Other - Well Netflix says I finished this. I don’t remember doing that. I do remember that I liked the way it treated trauma (in the beginning) and the way that two very damaged people could heal each other but then it began feeling rote and boring and that’s where I lost interest I guess. 5/10 because I can’t really rate sth I don’t remember all that well.

13 shows I finished, where I really hated 2 of them another 2 I had some big issues with/forgot halfway through that I watched them and the rest are watchable I guess but with big caveats. *sigh* 

[katehuntington]

2020, 2nd edition Disclaimer: ‘Kate Huntington’s Author & Fanfiction Recommendations’ is a platform for writers, to show appreciation for their work and expand their audience. I do not claim to be the author of these stories, neither do I own them. Read each writer’s warnings carefully, most of them are rated +18.

Without further ado, here is my list of recommendations.

One shots

“My Hero” - written by @plaidstiel-wormstache Angst/fluff - Sam Winchester x female reader, Dean Winchester - 1524 words     When Sam gets hurt on a hunt, Y/N is the only one who can help him. What I love most about this fanfic is the medical accuracy. I am no expert in any way, but after seeing countless medical dramas and having done plenty of research for characters and stories, I really appreciate it when knowledge about medicine practically drips from my screen. A lovely read.

“Everytime You Leave, I Hit Rock Bottom” - written by @arazialotis  Angst/fluff/slight smut - Dean Winchester x female reader - 2050 words      This story portrays little snippets of Dean’s and Y/N’s relationship as they struggle to balance her normal life with his life as a hunter. The writer has done a beautiful job showing how much of a challenge it would truly be. The longing for each other after weeks apart, the realistic arguments. It’s liberating to read fanfiction that shows the imperfections that come with being a hunter’s other half.

“Nicotine” - written by @talesmaniac89 Angst - Dean Winchester x reader - 1966 words      Dean has plenty of unhealthy coping mechanisms to help him get through his dark days, but the only drug that really helps, is you. This story is inspired by the song Nicotine by Chef’Special and was written for my 1K celebration. The lyrics to this song are surprisingly depressing, despite it being an upbeat song, and the writer has captured it better than I could have ever hoped for. If her writing was music, it would be a symphony played by an orchestra. Her way with words is melodic and moving. Goosebumps all over.

“Over Our Heads” - written by @deanssweetheart23  Fluff - Dean Winchester x female reader - 2482 words      The feelings Dean and Y/N have for each other and have been under wraps for years begin to surface during a movie night. Oh my word, what an amazing thing to witness. This sweet story is a gorgeous piece of writing. How the author is able to take such a quiet and simple moment and turn it into something so meaningful and heartfelt, is beyond me. Talent oozes from this fanfic and is worth your time and love.

“The Voices” - written by @fictionalabyss  Angst/comfort - Dean Winchester x female reader - 1215 words

Based on ‘I hear the voices when I’m dreaming. I can hear them sing’ from the Supernatural anthem Carry On My Wayward Son, comes this breathtakingly beautiful piece of fanfiction. Perfect lines, spot on dialogue and it couldn’t have been more true to the character. It’s painfully raw, sad, and tears will fall. It makes you feel for Dean in ways that are difficult to describe. The writer of this story is known for her talent with words, but she outdid herself here.

“The Things We Tell Ourselves” - written by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord  Comfort/fluff/explicit - Dean Winchester x reader, Sam Winchester      Y/N is miserably stuck in a stale relationship, and then an old flame rolls into town. The very first line is already a winner; what a way to start a fic. The picture this writer paints of a flawed relationship is very realistic. I think a lot of people can relate, being stuck, too far in to just pull the plug. The descriptions are very detailed and this story has the reader wishing for more. 

“Promise Me We’ll Be Alright” - written by @impala-dreamer  Angst - Dean Winchester x reader - 1303 words      This one shot portrays Dean’s struggle with bearing the Mark of Cain so beautifully. Everyone could imagine how rough it must have been for him, but this writer took that pain and my heart with it. She has the ability to leave things unsaid in order for the next line for a bigger impact; it’s smart writing and it’s so effective. It’s vivid, it’s realistic, it’s breathtaking.

“Time For Plan B” - written by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters Fluff - Dean Winchester x pregnant!reader, Sam Winchester - 1900 words      So much fluff, that I smiled all the way through. For one, it’s incredibly well written, it flows so wonderfully. Secondly, the comedy and the lightness of this bit of fanfiction is perfect. Writing something that’s funny isn’t easy, but this author did a terrific job. It’s a perfect blend of fluff and funny. Thirdly, who can resist father-to-be Dean? “Side By Side” - written by @talesmaniac89 Angst - Dean Winchester x reader - 2542 words      On the anniversary of yet another fallen friend, Dean is unable to cope with the loss, but thankfully he has Y/N by his side. Another brilliant creation, based on the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. A song which surfaces a lot of emotions, much like this poetic and amazing piece of fanfiction. Words that come to mind are heart wrenching, tear jerking, and in a way comforting as well. A must read.

“Cabin Fever” - written by @slytherkins Angst/explicit - Dean Winchester x Chloe (OFC) - 17002 words      This has got to be hands down the best thing to discover in a while. What an amazing work of art. 17K might sound like a lot and original characters aren’t read as much on this platform, but it is worth every second of time. The storytelling is gripping and the well told tail will not let the reader go. The way the creator described Dean and his torment, his inner thoughts and his struggle is absolutely superb. It’s a homage to everyone dealing with chronic pain, disability and depression. This fic had me clutching my chest and praying ‘no no no no, please don’t do it’ all the way through. I haven’t felt emotional about writing like this much, but this writer knocked it out of the damn park.

“I Just Called To Say I Love You” - written by @talesmaniac89 Angst - Dean Winchester x reader      When Dean gets lethally injured and has only minutes to live, he calls the woman he loves to have one last normal, happy moment with her. It hurts as bad as it sounds, but in the most wonderful way. It’s exactly how Dean would go down, the characterization beyond perfect. The descriptions, the dialogue, the details, the choices. The song that serves as the perfect title has been forever ruined for me. It’s a Rembrandt painted with letters.

“To The End Of Time” - written by @impala-dreamer Angst - Dean Winchester x reader - 2600 words      Talking about fanfiction completely changing the meaning of a song. I have heard ‘Paradise By The Dashboard Light’ by Meatloaf a couple of times on the radio now, and I cannot listen to it without thinking of this story. Dean mourning the death of his loved one is painfully well described. The alternations between the present and the flashbacks, the evident contrast between the happiness that was and the sorrow that is now. It’s beautifully done. The song fits the story perfectly. What a read. 

“Calm After The Storm” - written by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters​ Angst/comfort - Dean Winchester x reader - 2200 words      What a pleasant surprise this one shot was! As a stormchaser, this little AU had my heart from the beginning, but you certainly don’t need to be an admirer of the weather to appreciate it. Besides that the subject really appeals to me, it’s also incredibly well written. The comfort Dean offers is sincere and moving.

“Bring It On Home” - written by @thoughtslikeaminefield  Fluff/explicit - Dean Winchester x female reader - 1207 words      Dean comes home to his girl after a hunt, unable to wait to be with her again. This writer has a very poetic way of describing this sweet scene. There are so many wonderful lines in here, little gems wrapped up in heartwarming, carefree and happy fluff. I wish something so pure for my favorite hunter.

“A New Future” - written by @kittenofdoomage​​ Fluff/angst/explicit - Alpha!Dean Winchester x female Omega!reader - 9944 words      Dean is unable to deal with the aftermath of losing his brother, but Y/N is there to pick up the pieces. How she puts the battered hunter back together is a beautiful thing to see in words. I’m always amazed how well this author writes A/B/O. Although it might not be everyone’s cup of tea, she certainly managed to get me on the alpha omega train. The storytelling is strong, the characters authentic, the details amazing, every word of dialogue spot on.

“Comfort” - written by @idreamofplaid​  Fluff/comfort - Dean Winchester x female reader, Sam - 2342 words      Y/N and Dean have a routine when he leaves on a hunt, but also one when he comes home to her, and it’s such a beautiful thing. It’s lovely to witness how comfortable Dean is and how he allows her to love him, as much as he loves her. The details are astonishing, how she makes everything perfect for her hunter to return, how they don’t talk about the hunt, but just are. Very well written, I was floating while reading this and felt warm from all the affection. The writer does a wonderful job drawing the one reading in, making it impossible to put down.

“If It Was To Work” - written by @deangirl93​ Angst/Fluff/explicit - Dean Winchester x reader, Sam Winchester - 3979 words      After a much needed black and white, non-Chuck hunt, the Winchesters go to a bar for a good time. Dean doesn’t expect to run into a familiar face, however. The very first one shot of a new writer and it certainly deserves attention. This new kid on the block has so much potential! This story for instance is an uncut diamond. The writing is smart, with beautiful quotes which call back to the show we all love so much. The author of this fanfic is one to watch!

Imagines:

“Imagine Dean debating asking you out” - written by @luci-in-trenchcoats​   Fluff/comedy - Dean Winchester x female reader      Dean has a crush on a girl, Sam is calling him out. When his little brother threatens to expose his secret, Dean tries to silence him, and it’s honestly the funniest read I’ve had this month. Writing comedy isn’t easy, but this was flawless.

“Imagine depression hitting you hard” - written by @wicked-wayward-warrior​ Angst/comfort - Dean Winchester x Jazzie Baker (OFC) - 1993 words      Jazzie is struggling, but thankfully Dean is by her side. This story is an ode to everyone dealing with mental illness. The way this author put depression to words is both chilling and amazing. Dean being the support and the comforting man that everyone wants in their life if just what I needed.

“Imagine experiencing your worst nightmare” - written by @carryonmywaywardcaptain​ Angst - Dean Winchester x reader      The angst is strong with this one, because Dean expresses what he really feels, but it will not be what you think. The opening is painfully dark, then it takes a turn, and the way this writer described the confusing and anxious thoughts of Y/N is really well done. Everyone can relate to this; being dismissed and hated by the ones you love is worse than losing them all together. A good read.

Drabbles:

“All That’s Left” - written by @impalaimagining​ Angst/comfort - Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins - 559 words      Just the thought of my favorite show ending has me emotional, not to mention when it’s put into words like this. God, this is beautiful.  The way this author describes Jensen, Jared and Misha is amazing. So true to them, so tangible. She’s brave enough to leave things unsaid, the silence expressing so much more than words ever could. Reading how everyone’s favorite people say farewell to Supernatural pulls at heartstrings in a way that is both sad and comforting.

“She’s Not You” - written by @winchest09​ Fluff - Dean Winchester x female reader - 995 words      At the night of senior prom, and Y/N’s date stood her up, until someone knocked on the door. I for one am a total sucker for a prom date!Dean; still a teenager, sort of innocent, and yet still the Dean we’ve all fallen in love with. This was written so effortlessly and sweetly. If anyone is in the need of some tooth-rotting fluffiness, this is the go-to fic. 

“You’re Home” - written by @impala-dreamer​  Angst/explicit - Dean Winchester x reader - 682 words      Another drabble that’s worth mentioning is this short story. It portrays the hunter waking up from a nightmare about Purgatory, Y/N next to him to sooth him. Beka does Dean’s PTSD more justice in 682 words than the writers have ever done on the entire show. A beautiful piece of art.

“Home Is Where You Are” - written by @muggleishly​ Fluff - Daddy!Dean Winchester x reader      Dean comes home from a hunt to his family, and oh my word, it couldn’t be fluffier. Dean as a father melts every fangirl’s heart, but the creator of this lovely little drabble turned it up a notch. Sweet as candy, uplifting and light on its feet. This one will definitely lift your spirits in dark times.

“Handy Man” - written by @deanwanddamons​ Fluff - Dean Winchester x reader - 862 words      Dean fixing a blocked drain under the kitchen sink in a black shirt and Levi’s jeans; what a sight that must be. The writer of this fic is able to describe the scene in great detail. Besides the obvious appreciation of the gorgeous man, it’s great to see him doing something normal and domesticated. It’s the life we all wish for him. A great little drabble for a Sunday morning with a cup of tea by the side.

“One For Tomorrow, One Just For Today” - written by @thoughtslikeaminefield Explicit/fluff - Dean Winchester x reader - 662 words      Sex with Dean is always amazing, but there’s nothing hotter than him singing a classic while he’s doing it. After reading this, that famous song by The Doors will never sound the same. Sit back, relax and listen to the music.

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed the work of the authors above, don’t be afraid to let them know. I’m sure they will appreciate it. Feel free to share!

If you have any suggestions or would like a tag in the future, drop a request in my inbox or send me a message.

Love, Kate

[my-faves-said-gay-rights]

Favourite Sunmi Lyrics

As it's sunmis birthday I thought I would list 5 of my favourite lyrics from sunmi because I don't think she gets as much love as she deserves for her writing. Like with my iu lyrics list these are in no particular order, these aren't my definite top 5 and my interpretations may be different from yours. Let's fucking go:

1. Black Pearl

"I’m dirty and in pain, I’m wrapping around myself

So this ugly, black light, won’t come seeping out

I may seem like a brand new, white gem

But you don’t even know what’s inside"

I am starting with my favourite sunmi song ever. It is just so perfect and so her, and a big part of that is the lyrics. I believe this song is about fame and how the public view her. Sunmi and her idol life can look very appealing and fans and the gp want to know about it, but in reality fame can be hard and sunmi has her problems. I don't think I'm explaining this every eloquently, but the lyrics do and they're beautifully written, and that's what we're here to appreciate.

2. Lalalay

"Everyone is coming in flocks

Is there anything fun?

Like a swarm of bees wing wing

The more they do win win

I’m a small pied piper captain

On a sharp knife"

There is so much to say about lalalay. Even the title has many layers, it's one of the songs that made me realise just how smart sunmi is. Lalalay is a romanised version of the word 날라리, which is a negative word meaning someone who tries to be cool by being rebellious and drinking and partying. It is also the name of the instrument in the chorus and 날라 means to fly. With this song sunmi is reclaiming the word and saying that she doesn't care what people say about her. The public criticise her and pick her apart but they also follow and copy her. She's a cool trendsetter and she fucking knows it. This is such a good song for confidence building and I love it so much.

3. Borderline

"Feels like a bird is living in my head

Please don't piss me off, Oh no no

I shouldn't have said that

Because I'm a good girl yeah"

We have known for a while know that sunmi has struggled with mental illness, and she said last year that she has borderline personality disorder, and that made this song even more special. It hurts me everyday that this is still technically unreleased and not on spotify, but back to the lyrics. These lyrics feel so real and I know I can relate to them, the way she's struggling but still trying to be good and have people like her. We have seen that sometimes the pressure from the public gets to her and this song is her way of expressing that. It's good to see an artist, especially a kpop artist, who can be so vulnerable and real with their music.

4. pporappippam

"He’s asking what I want

He’s saying just say the word

He said he could even pick the stars for me

I don’t want anything else

I just want this night"

I may not be the biggest fan of love songs, but this is just really sweet. We love to see a man being respectful of a woman's wishes and wanting to be good to her, but she likes him so much that all she wants to be with him. That's just so pure. I also really like the repetition of he's asking he's saying he said. It shows how much he cares for her and how memorable this night is for sunmi.

5. Gashina

"You’ll see me all sharp

And you’ll bow your head low

My thorns will

dig deeper in you, yeah

You already bent and twisted me

So don’t act like you’re sorry"

How could I do a post about sunmis music and not include the iconic gashina? Empowering breakup songs are always great, but the layers to these lyrics add a lot to it. Like lalalay, gashina has multiple meanings. It means the thorn of a flower and it's a farewell (it also means bitch but apparently that isn't a part of it), and we see flowers used a lot in the lyrics. Sunmi is very good as finding words and concepts that can be used in different ways and then using them to convey her message, and I admire it a lot. I know these lyrics are written with other people too, but sunmi still had a big part in making the song and concept so think it's okay to say it shows her skills.

If you got to the end thank you for reading and please give sunmi lots of love for her birthday!!

[ladyonfire28]

My French music Masterpost

So since half of the population is in quarantine right now I thought I could make a list of some french/ french speaking artists and songs that I listen to and that you could also discover since we all have time to kill. 

Obviously I cannot put every single artist and song I  know and listen to so it’ll be a bit of mix of my favorite albums/ artists of the past few years but also what i’m listening at the moment ! 

Pop/ R&B

Angèle 

She’s a 23 year old Belgian singer. Her first album was a HUGE hit last year and she got 5 news songs out in November too. She’s also been dating a woman for a few months.

I would recommend to listen to her whole album Brol , it’s quite a bop. Also there are two songs about wlw relationship called « Ta Reine » and « Tu me regardes ». That last song was a kind of coming out song btw, we were all freaking out when we listened to it the first time lmao.

Favorite songs: Les matins, Flemme, Flou, Nombreux, Ta reine, Tu me regardes, J’entends

Clara Luciani

She’s a 27 year old French artist. 2019 was truly her year. She’s has an incredible voice and I just love her energy. She’s an amazing songwriter too. Her first album is called Sainte Victoire.

Favorite songs: La grenade, Les fleurs, On ne meurt pas d’amour, Drôle d’époque, Nue, Dors, Ma Soeur, Bovary.

Christine and the Queens

I think a lot of you know her already. She’s also a queer and pansexual artist. I have to say I really LOVED her first album Chaleur Humaine, one of the best albums of the past decade, but I didn’t love as much her second album (Chris) or her new EP (La vita nuova). I mean they’re good, but her first album was really something else. And it’s also just my opinion !

Favorite songs : iT (it’s in English though), Saint Claude, Science Fiction, Half Ladies, Paradis Perdus, Chaleur Humaine, Nuit 17 à 52, Intranquilité, Amazoniaque, Jonathan, La marcheuse, L’étranger

Therapie TAXI

This is a pretty fun band, their first album has been quite popular. They’re pretty unique and sometimes their songs and lyrics are let’s say... bold lmao. I haven’t listen to all their songs though, there’s like 25 songs in their first album and 15 in their second aha. But they also have so many bops. 

Favorite songs: Hit Sale, J’en ai marre, Salop(e), Avec ta zouz

Aya Nakamura

Aya is now a r&b/pop superstar here in France and even in other countries in Europe. She’s 25 and you can hear her songs in every night club and party here. Can’t say her lyrics are very elaborated but her songs are real bops and the best to dance to in your room lmao

Favorite songs: Djadja, La dot, Pompom, Copines, Pookie, Sucette, 40%, Comportement

Lous and the Yakuza

She’s a 23 year old belgian artist. She only has 3 songs out for now, but i’ve been pretty obsessed with them. Her lyrics are pretty great too (and she’s SO beautiful omg). 

Favorite songs : Dilemme, Tout est gore, Solo

Yseult

Yseult is a 24 year old french singer/songwriter. She’s has a beautiful voice and the beats are also great. I haven’t listened to all her songs though, I only heard her new EP Noir which is great.

Favorite songs: Corps, Nos souvenirs, Noir, 5H

Indie/electro rock/folk :

Pomme

Pomme is very famous in the LGBTQ community in France, but i haven’t listened much to her songs (yet). She’s a 24 year old french and lesbian singer songwriter. Her songs talk about love, anxiety, and even death. She has a such beautiful voice too.

Favorite songs: On brûlera, A peu près, Anxiété, Je sais pas danser

The Dø

The Dø are a finnish/french duo and also one of my favorite band (they sing in english though). They made of of my favorite albums of the last decade, Shake Shook Shaken, which came out in 2014. Their first albums sounded more folk/indie rock, but their third album is much more electro. And the album is about the break up of the lead singer, Olivia Merilahti, and the musician, Dan Levy. One of my favorite song of all time is in their second album Both Ways Open Jaws and is called Too Insistent.

Favorite songs: On my shoulders, Too Insistent, Sparks, Despair Hangover & Ecstasy, Opposite Ways, Anita No!, Nature Will Remain.

Izia

Izia is a singer but also an actress, you may know her from La Belle Saison, Samba, or Un peuple et son roi. I listened a lot to her third album La vague, that was released in 2015. it’s much more electro that what she used to do before. Her two first albums were much more rock albums. She’s got a new album out but i haven’t listen to it yet.

Favorite songs: Hey, La vague, You, Les ennuis, Bridges, Tomber

Mansfield.YTA

The band is composed of 2 women, Julia Lanoë et Carla Pallone. Julia is in other bands/ projects such as Sexy Sushi and Kompromat. Unlike those two last bands that are very electro, Mansfield is something more nuanced. It sounds more like indie folk and mixes different style. You can hear electric instruments but also violin, harmonium, piano etc. And it’s pretty melodramatic.  They sing in french and english.

Favorite songs: Et demain déja, Pour oublier je dors, Mon amoureuse, Gilbert De Clerc

Electro :

Stromae

You might have heard of that Belgian guy. His album Racine Carré (released in 2013) is too me the best of the decade and his song “Papaoutai” was a huge hit in Europe. He’s a pure genius. His lyrics are super deep and usually quite dark but he makes incredible beats that are very electro. If his second album is definitely his most popular album, his first one Cheese, was also so so great and his first single “Alors on Danse” was a huge hit (Kanye West did a remix of it). He also directed Billie Eilish’s “Hostage” music video. That dude is just incredible. But after his huge success his did a burn out and his mental health got very bad. He stopped making music since then. 

Favorite songs: Peace or Violence, Alors on danse, Dodo, Je Cours, House’llelujah, papaoutai, bâtard, ave cesaria, tous les mêmes, formidable humain à l’eau, sommeil

Rap :

I have to say i’ve been listening to a lot of french rap this past couple of years so i won’t list all the rappers i listen to, especially since i’m pretty sure most of you aren’t interested in rap. But I still have to list some of them that have been very popular recently. France has a huge and very diverse rap culture.

Fauve

Actually that collective is actually not a rap band at all. They do more like spoken word songs but didn’t where also to put them lol. The band broke up 5 years but I still listen to them a lot today. It’s one of my fav band too. Their lyrics are really well written and beautiful. It usually talks about the “youth malaise” and their frustrations, heartbreaks and anger etc. They made 1 EP et 2 LP. 

Favorite songs: Blizzard, Cock Music Smart Music, Nuits Fauves, Haut les Coeurs, Rub a Dub, Voyous, Infirmière, Vieux frères, Lettre à Zoé, Paraffine, Tallulah, T.R.W, Les Hautes Lumières 

Meryl

Meryl is a 24 year old french martinican rapper. Before making her own music she used to write and compose melodies for other famous french rappers. She’s very influenced by her roots and and she also sings some of her songs in creole. I love how different and diverse her music is. 

Favorite songs: Coucou, AH LALA, Béni, Désolé, La brume

Aloïse Sauvage 

Aloïse is a multi talented french singer/ actress/ dancer. She released her first EP in 2019 called Jimy and her very first album Dévorantes was released in February 2020. She’s definitely a queer artist (99% sure she’s lesbian but she’s never confirmed it so anyway + her little sister is 100% a lesbian aha) and she talks about lgbtq issues in some of her songs, but also about her own issues and all. Her lyrics are beautifully written. And she’s also a ray of sunshine so there’s nothing to dislike about her haha. 

Favorite songs: Dévorantes, Si on s’aime, A l’horizontale, Et cette tristesse, Jimy, Présentement, L’orage

Roméo Elvis

Roméo isn’t french but belgian. He’s the big brother of Angèle. I actually knew about her because of him. He’s less known than her now obviously but he’s still quite popular. His rap is pretty soft and chill. I preferred his collaborations with Le Motel (who was his producer) more than his “solo” album but he still got some good songs on his last album.

Favorite songs: Morale, Nappeux, Drôle de question, Bébé aime la drogue, J’ai vu (feat. Angèle), Lenita, Chocolat, Normal, Dis-moi 

Lomepal

Lomepal is a french rapper. He’s known for writing songs that are pretty elaborated with chill and melodic beats. I also call is rap “soft”. He usually talks about his loneliness and insecurities

Favorite songs: 70, Yeux disent, Club, Trop beaux, 1000°C, X-Men, Plus de larmes

PNL

PNL is the most popular cloud rap band of the past few of years. They’re two brothers NOS and Ademo and they’re famous for using vocoder when they rap. Like a lot of vocoder lol. But they’re also very known for working with some of the best beat makers in the industry. If the way they rap is sometimes pretty hard, their beats are very chill and cool. In their songs they talk a lot of their life as dealers in the french banlieue, their struggles, how tough their lives were but also how their lives today isn’t set and how they’re not necessarily happier today. Their third album “Dans la légende” was a huuuuge hit in France, and their latest album “Deux frères” just as much if not more. 

Favorite songs: Recherche du bonheur, DA, Dans la légende, Luz de Luna, Humain, Bené, Jusqu’au dernier gramme, Blanka, A l’ammoniaque, Shenmue, Menace, Déconnecté, La misère est si belle

Other songs that I listen to at the moment : 

“Le temps est bon” - Bon Entendeur (electro)

“De mon âme à ton âme” - Kompromat (electro)

“Reste” - Maitre Gims feat Sting (pop)

“Les méchants” - Heuss l’enfoiré (rap)

“C’est plus l’heure” - Franglish feat Dadju, Vegeta (r&b)

“De l’autre côté”-  Ninho feat Nekfeu (rap)

“Blanche” - Maes (rap)

“La complainte du soleil” - Laura Cahen (from I Lost My Body OST)

Some french speaking “classic” songs that  I listen to and that you probably don’t know (from the 50′s to 00′s) :

“Une valse à mille temps” - Jacques Brel

“La foule” - Edith Piaf 

“Chanson pour l’auvergnat” - Georges Brassens 

“Je t’aimais, je t’aime et je t’aimerai” - Francis Cabrel 

“Ma préférence” - Julien Clerc

“La nuit je mens” - Alain Bashung 

“Foule sentimentale” - Alain Souchon

“Mistral gagnant” - Renaud 

“Sensualité” - Axelle Red

“Manhattan Kaboul” - Renaud feat. Axelle Red

“Onde sensuelle” - M 

“Et dans 150 ans” - Raphaël 

“A la faveur de l’automne” - Tété

“L’aventurier” - Indochine 

French LGBTQ+ artists 

This past few years a few lgbtq artists have blown up here and like 4 lesbian artists have been nominated for best new artist this year at the french grammy award called Victoire de la musique (and one of them one the award, Pomme). Unfortunately i’m not very good at discovering new artists so i’m quite late and i haven’t been able to listen to a lot of them. But if you want to discover them yourself here are few lgbtq artists: 

Already mentioned: Angèle, Pomme, Julia Lanoë/ Rebekka Warrior (Sexy Sushi, Kompromat, Mansfield.YTA), Christine and the Queens, Aloïse Sauvage

More : Hoshi,  Suzane, Eddy de Pretto, Safia Nolin (she’s from Quebec)

[excelsi-or]

24/10/18 - woman like me (woozi)

to a boy i love right now

w.c. 2.7k

October 16, 2018

October 24, 2018

She breezes around Seungkwan, a constant whirlwind every morning before her 10 o’clock class. She snags her toast and quickly butters it. While munching, she goes to the fridge and scans it for her lunch for the day. Seungkwan had cooked the night before since Hansol and Mingyu had come over for dinner. Since the pool game, she’d seen more of Mingyu, which was nice.

She quickly tosses a layer of rice and then chicken into a container. She deems that sufficient for her break between lecture and lab. “Is Hansol taking you to school?” she asks as she heads to their dining table to collect her things together.

“No, we’re going to meet at the bus stop,” Seungkwan says. He washes his bowl from his cereal. When the water stops, she can feel his eyes on her. Meeting his gaze, she finds Seungkwan tilting his head in concern.

Sighing, her gaze falls back to her backpack. She pulls her toast out of her mouth to ask, “What, Seungkwanie?”

“Are we really not going to talk about your date?” Seungkwan demands.

The date had been last week. It had been… awkward, to say the least. Hansol had warned her in advance that Jihoon wasn’t much of a talker, but also didn’t like when people talked too much.

“There’s this dance major that he complains about all the time,” Hansol had told her. “He just goes on about himself and the things he’s done.”

But she’s a talker in one-on-one situations, so she had found herself being self-conscious about how much she was talking. When she would ask Jihoon questions just to get him to loosen up, as Hansol had also warned her that he wasn’t a huge people person, he would give her stunted answers. By the time she’d had to leave for class, she was unsure if Jihoon just found her uninteresting or was terrified of her.

“I’m surprised that you haven’t heard about it through the grape vine yet,” she comments with the last bit of toast in her right cheek. She takes her water bottle to Seungkwan to fill as she disappears into her bedroom. She searches for her headphones before remembering she’d tucked them behind the door along with other school stuff when Hansol had arrived last night.

She wraps the cord around her fingers and stuffs it into the front pocket of her backpack.

“Lab coat?” Seungkwan reminds her as he closes the water bottle lid, tightening it to make sure it doesn’t leak.

“Right!” She hurries back into the bedroom and plucks it off the back of the door.

“Okay, you have all your stuff,” he asks as he passes the water bottle and food across the counter. He added an apple and a tangerine to her stack of food. “You need to eat more,” he insists when he catches her expression.

She smirks. “Okay, I will.”

“Now that you have all your stuff,” he tries again, “can you talk to me? You haven’t said anything about it.”

“Because…” She’d been avoiding discussing it, because Jihoon had been her first date in a while. Mostly because she hadn’t found anyone who interested her enough, and because a lot of the people in her biology major were either so focused on school they couldn’t see anyone or were already with somebody. It didn’t bother her, but maybe she’d had too high hopes for Jihoon. The date hadn’t been bad, but it wasn’t anything to write home about either.

“I don’t know,” she mutters. She zips up her bag and hikes it over one shoulder. It’s heavy, as it always is. She sets it by the door and then hops onto the counter as she’s got a few minutes before she needs to head down to catch the bus to school. “Not every date can be a good date, I guess.”

“Jihoon hyung seemed to like you though,” Seungkwan presses. He turns slightly leaning his hip against the counter, arms crossed over his chest.

“I know, but it was just…” She shrugs, shaking her head.” Awkward. Like we had nothing to talk about.”

“You? Had nothing to talk about?” Seungkwan tips his head back in disbelief, his jaw open. “Noona, we spend four hours talking at the table when we should be studying.”

“I know, but I know you,” she argues.

“The first night we met we talked for five hours on the couch at Jeonghan hyung’s party?”

She sighs, running her hand through her hair. “Hansol told me that Jihoon isn’t much of a talker and that he doesn’t really like people. I was grasping at straws the entire date.”

“Do you like him though?”

She shrugs. “I wouldn’t say no to a second date, but he hasn’t texted me since last week.”

“Nothing?” Seungkwan frowns. “That’s weird.”

“I don’t think he liked me very much,” she admits.

“What makes you think that?”

She checks her watch and slides off the counter. Scooping her bag onto her shoulder, she answers, “How he didn’t seem interested in the conversation? It was mostly just the vibe I got off him.”

Seungkwan nods his head thoughtfully. “Well, other fish in the sea, right?”

She smiles back at him. “Of course. Let me know when you find me another one.”

“She thinks he doesn’t like her!” Seungkwan exclaims as he and Hansol climb onto the bus. Their classes don’t start until 1.

Hansol pops a chip into his mouth and holds the bag out to Seungkwan who takes one. “That’s weird. Hyung seemed into her.” They carefully make their way to the back of the bus.

“Finally get what happened out of her and it turns out to be the exact opposite of what you’ve been telling me,” Seungkwan pouts, falling into the seat closest to the window. “Here I thought she was hiding a secret boyfriend from me.”

“I was just telling you what Gyu was telling me. He spends so much time with Jihoon hyung, maybe he was getting subtext.”

“And then getting it wrong?” Seungkwan demands. “If hyung was interested, why wouldn’t he text her?”

Hansol shrugs, unconcerned. “He’s probably nervous.”

“She doesn’t know that.”

“Well you could tell her.”

“Ah, ah. You know I don’t like to meddle.”

Hansol snorts, a smirk on his face. “Meddle might as well be your middle name, Boo Seungkwan.”

Seungkwan frowns. “Well, noona wouldn’t like me to meddle.”

“Noona’s trained you well,” Hansol chuckles. He tips the chip bag back, munching on the crumbs before crumpling the bag in his hand. “But she would probably want you to meddle in this situation.”

Seungkwan blinks in surprise at this knowledge. Hansol had suggested that Seungkwan room with her, because they were so similar. He claimed that she just complained about how much of a slob he was and to go find her a better roommate. As they’d been best friends since they were in high school, he wasn’t offended and brought her Boo Seungkwan.

And while Hansol has never steered him wrong in his interactions with her, Seungkwan has a feeling that meddling would make her upset.

“You know him better,” Seungkwan says. “Find out what’s going on.”

Hansol doesn’t argue with him and shrugs. “Okay.”

Late that night, Hansol, Wonwoo, Mingyu and Jihoon are all holed up in the recording studio. On top of classes, they have their final project to complete. They were supposed to make a 3-track EP and Jihoon had made plenty of melodies, but they were struggling with lyrics.

Hansol sprawls on the couch while they take a break from tossing ideas back and forth. “Hyung,” he says, lobbing a balled up paper with garbage lyrics on it at Jihoon. “You never really told me what happened on that coffee date with noona.”

Immediately, Jihoon’s ears go red. He turns in his chair to throw the paper into the bin. Mingyu watches Jihoon carefully, but says nothing.

“It was fine,” Jihoon answers, sipping his water.

If Hansol goes back to Seungkwan with that, he’ll never hear the end of it. “Fine?” He swings his legs down to the floor. “Noona wouldn’t talk about it either. Seungkwanie thinks it’s ‘cause you two are dating.”

Jihoon sputters, which causes a bit of water to dribble down his chin. He uses the back of his hand to dry it. “Dating? No.”

“So how did it go then?” Wonwoo asks, spinning in his chair. “You haven’t told me anything about it either.”

Mingyu’s gaze falls and Hansol slowly sits up. He looks between Mingyu and Jihoon. Jihoon’s ears are so red, Hansol figures they’re probably burning. “What happened?” He feels himself getting protective. “Did you offend her?”

“No!” Jihoon protests. He buries his face in his hands.

Mingyu glances over at him and then begins explaining. “Apparently,” he slowly brings his gaze to Hansol, “apparently he completely froze.”

“I couldn’t come up with anything to say to her.” Jihoon throws his head back against the rolling chair. He actually causes the chair to roll back a bit. “She kept trying to talk to me and I couldn’t…” He motions with his hands the action of things coming out of his mouth. “Nothing.”

Hansol should have expected that to happen, but hadn’t. “Noona usually talks a lot when someone else can’t come up with anything. She’s good at that.”

Jihoon tips his head back, staring at the ceiling. “It was like she wanted me to fill some of the silence too, so she just… went quiet and I wanted the earth to swallow me. I felt so stupid.”

“Have you texted her again?” Wonwoo asks. “The first date is usually awkward.”

“She hurried off so fast; I didn’t think she wanted to see me again,” Jihoon grumbles.

“Hyung, you finally find a girl shorter than you who also agreed to go on a date with you and you didn’t text her again?” Mingyu demands, jumping to his feet. The short stature jab is said to fire Jihoon up. When Mingyu throws the pad of paper at Jihoon, who catches it in shock; that seems to have more effect. “Noona is so much fun and your type. I can’t believe you haven’t texted her!”

“My type? All I could think about was that she’s super smart and I just… write music. That’s all I know about her! I was going in blind!” Jihoon huffs.

“That’s the point of a date. To learn about the other person,” Wonwoo points out. “What did she say?”

Jihoon shrugs. “She talked about how she knew you,” he says to Hansol. “Then she talked about moving out of her house to be closer to school, how she lives with Seungkwan now instead of you.”

“She was probably trying to find something in common with you, so you would talk,” Wonwoo explains. “You said she asked you questions. Did you respond?”

“If you didn’t, hyung, I swear to God,” Mingyu groans, collapsing onto the couch again.

“Of course I answered; I’m not an idiot.”

“Did you give her Jihoon answers or actual answers?” Hansol asks.

Jihoon’s brow furrows. “How are those different?”

Hansol explains Jihoon answers as being court, a little harsh, no detail at all. “Noona likes actual answers. She wants conversation like this.” He motions between the two of them.

“I can’t do that with people I don’t know,” Jihoon sighs.

“You should just text the woman,” Wonwoo insists. “You don’t have to be 100% comfortable. But if you’re interested in her, go for it. Maybe it didn’t go so bad on her end.”

After she steps out of the shower, her towel around her shoulders, she sits at the dining table.  Her inorganic chemistry notes are spread out in front of her, but her phone lighting up catches her attention instead. At 1 in the morning, she hadn’t really been expecting anyone to text her. Hansol doesn’t tend to message her after midnight and her school friends only really text when they were studying for tests, which they aren’t.

When she checks who the message is from, she nearly drops the phone on the table.

Jihoon (1:08)

Hey, are you up?

She purses her lips, unsure of how to answer. Slowly, she types out that she is.

Suddenly, he’s calling.

“Hello?” she answers.

“You going to bed soon?” he asks.

“I just got out of the shower.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”

There’s silence for a long time and she squirms in her chair. What is she supposed to say? “Uhm, Jihoon?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you calling me?”

“I…” He grumbles something under his breath that she can’t hear. “Are you cool with just talking for a while?”

She blinks in surprise at this question. “I guess.” She pauses. “Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?”

“I did want to answer some of the questions you asked me last week.”

This piques her interest. She puts Jihoon on speakerphone and rests it on the table. “Can you still hear me?”

“Yeah.” Jihoon is quiet for a while and then every question she’d asked him comes with an elaborate answer. It’s embellished and long, each answer taking at least four or five minutes for him to answer. And it isn’t lost on her that he remembers every single question.

“I didn’t know what I wanted to do in school, but I had a friend who thought that I should pursue music production. I’ve auditioned for companies, actually got into one, but the training was gruelling. I don’t think I’d want to be the idol, but I really enjoy producing the music.”

“I’d love to hear something you’ve made one day,” she says, meaning every word. Jihoon hasn’t skimped on any details tonight.

“Maybe next time we’re on campus at the same time,” he promises. There’s a small pause before, “What’s your schedule like tomorrow?”

“I have back to back labs,” she sighs. “But if you’re on campus after 5:30, I’m free.”

Jihoon hums. “I should be on campus still. We’re working on our final project all the time.”

“Are you on campus now?” she demands.

Jihoon chuckles. “No, no. I called when I was leaving. I just got into bed.”

She sighs contentedly. The conversation had gone better than she expected. When she checks the time, it’s nearly 3. “Can I ask you something else?” There’s no answer, but she’s learned over the course of the conversation that no answer usually means yes with Jihoon. “Why did you do this?”

She hears rustling in the background as he rolls around in his bed. “I… I was so awkward on our date that I think you might have gotten the impression that I didn’t like you or you did something wrong.”

She hums her agreement.

“And I don’t want you to think that. So I thought if I didn’t have to see you that it would be easier to give you all my answers.”

“Oh.” The phrasing is disappointing.

“Not that I don’t want to see you!” Jihoon exclaims. “It’s just… I see you and I get really nervous. And I find talking to people… hard.”

This lightens her mood a little. “Oh.” Maybe she should offer something up since he’s put so much effort in. “I thought that I had come off too pushy or overbearing. Hansol said you didn’t like when people talked a lot, but then you weren’t talking at all and I felt like I was being annoying.”

“No!” Jihoon grumbles, “Did he tell you about Chan?”

“Who’s Chan?”

“This dance prodigy. He’s young, really young. Younger than Hansol. He drives me insane.”

“Hansol didn’t tell me who it was, just that there was a dance major you didn’t like because he talked about himself a lot.”

“That really only applies to that kid,” Jihoon informs her. “But for the record, I respect him. He can just be too much.”

Chuckling, she suggests, “What if I tell you what I like and don’t like and you do the same, hmm?”

If voices could smile, she swears that Jihoon’s was. “I like that idea.”

Next: October 25, 2018

[youarejesting]

BTS Seoul mates: Tender Couple.2

[MASTERLIST]

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Warning: implied sex

Summary: Every bump and bruise he apologized to where ever you were in the world. All pain was halved between you. Two halves of a whole. When either felt extreme emotions they could feel exactly what the other was feeling physically.  All pleasure was doubled.

You must have had the clumsiest soul mate in the world. You spent your life with at least one bruise on your body at all times, when it got really bad people started to worry about your home life and you would laugh and tell them your soulmate was just super clumsy. You were the opposite or your soulmate you were as graceful as a cat. You were smart had a vast amount of knowledge but it wasn’t sorted. Your thought process was unique, you could calculate numbers rather quickly in your head, recite every movie you had ever seen from start to finish, you were pretty talented. Your brain was good at receiving and storing everything it encounters.

But your down fall, you had no concept of time. and you struggle with object permanence. If you can’t see it, the thing in question disappears from your mind. You have flooded your house and burnt every single homemade pizza this way. New thoughts tend to get in the way of previous ones and you can get jumbled up. This tends to lead to you stuttering as the words run faster in your head and misfiring words. You get so frustrated with yourself. 

Namjoon had so much confidence in his brain, he enjoyed mental exercises and stimulation. But he lacked confidence physically, he would look at the other members and feel a little jealous. He wasn’t handsome like Jin or romantic like Jimin, he wasn’t very imaginative like Taehyung. His hopes were pinned on you, his soul mate. He had read every study and felt ninety nine percent sure that you would love him unconditionally as he did you. However there was always that irrational one percent fear that you would reject him, if you hadn’t already.

Who was he to you? Nothing but a burden, the constant pain and bruises he inflicted. Who is to say when you meet, you won’t take one look at him and his coordination that could be likened to a newborn giraffe on ice. He was a walking hazard. His first night camping in New Zealand was rather fun and that night he felt your wandering hands once more and he tried to join you as quietly as he could without rustling his sleeping bag. 

He woke feeling refreshed, the group was going to a spa. He was writing lyrics on the way with his imagination taking over as he lost himself to the memories of the past two nights. Remembering the sensations he felt, the way your fingers would brush against your skin the way you would bring yourself to the edge and hold it as long as you could. Last night however, you did something that made him groan quietly.

“You okay?” Jungkook asked quietly while he drove. He nodded making a casual noise. You had come so hard last night the first time without any physical stimulation you seemed to just lay there enjoying his company pleasure coursing through you. What were you thinking about? The second time followed quickly and he smiled happy you were feeling good but disappointed you finished without him.

Or so he thought, because he felt the pleasure build again and he shivered, trying to keep up, you were now edging the third. He had read somewhere that woman could have up to twenty orgasms in a row. So your third didn’t shock him. He came with you when you had your fourth and he was panting relaxing and yet he felt you chase another and another. When he got his second you were on your seventh. He knew when you met he could have a lot of fun with you.

The car pulled up and they went inside ready to the spa. The girls went to another section of the building and left to wash up and relax. Sitting in one of the many outdoor tubs in shorts and shirts the girls sat talking and playing games.

Namjoon and the boys were relaxing in their tub when he burned his hand and he frowned it was a good one alright and he frowned holding the injured hand to his chest trying to ease the pain. He felt a familiar sting on the side of your face and knew you had gently slapped your cheek to let him know you were mad. But he also felt kisses on his fingertips which made him forget about the pain and concentrate on not getting hard in front of his band mates.

“It’s been so long since we have been close like this” Taehyung said getting sentimental as the dried and dressed together. Namjoon listened to them all chatting about their plans for their next activity and wondering if any of the girls would want to join in.

“I don’t want to go what if Aster asks me to go?” Jimin whined.

“I want to go with my baby Beau on the swing together”

The Nevis High-wire platform was beautiful. Everyone seemed to be having a good time looking around and the brave ones signing up for a swing. Currently all the boys excluding Jimin and Yoongi were participating and all the girls except Rose. 

The pairs were, Namjoon and Taehyung, Jin and Hoseok, Melody and Aster and finally Jungkook and Aster. They each took turns, Hoseok and Jin were shaking in their skin. Melody and Aster the latter kissed Jimin dramatically and as she was being harnessed started a monologue as if she was dying. Jimin had almost collapsed in his fits of laughter. 

Namjoon went with Taehyung, taking in the view together singing their theme song. As they traveled back up to the platform. The golden maknae turned to his soulmate and suggested they go upside down and to their shock she agreed. She was like Jungkook never one to back down from a challenge. They both flipped upside down and were sent of making whoops and cheers as you fell from the platform.

They each relaxed and headed to their next camp to set up, half going shopping and buying food. The night was filled with jokes and laughed and a few stolen kisses under the stars. Namjoon, was already planning on doing some work tomorrow, he was trying to write lyrics but he couldn’t get you out of his head.

That night he lay in bed and felt your index finger tapping on his palm. He couldn’t figure it out but it repeated like a beat, he fell asleep to the repetition he was so amazed how you seemed to just know what he needed.

[oookaline]

A response to this tweet:

https://twitter.com/LETMEVOL6/status/1318301718610923520?s=19

"ok. i’m bout to ask a question to the larries. yalls whole argument is that simon and modest are homophobic right? please explain to me how Harry got away with being such a strong advocate for the LGBTQ+ community while being in One Direction? Why was harry the only one dropping hints on his sexuality. if they were so dead set on pushing this heterosexual narrative onto the boys then how did Harry get away with the things that he did? harry was dropping hints at his attraction to males. no, not with over analyzed song lyrics. i mean dead ass saying it. I genuinely want to know because Harry‘s been out of the closet for years now .y’all claim that Louis is closete. Harry managed to get out of the “evil clutches of Simon Cowell“ what stopping Louis and doing the same? unless this whole Larry theory was a lie and y’all were bored like, can someone please tell me why that happened? if Harry is allowed to be so open about his sexuality what stopping louis? if Harry got away from Simon would stopping in Louis they all have the same opportunity Harry may be the richest member but Louis can’t be that far back so tell me how did Harry manage to get away and be so open about his attraction of males and louis didn’t? i genuinely don’t get that."

Harry has been refering to his partner as gender neutral since forever, its not something he dropped hints on.

Not only that you have to also consider the narratives management pushed upon each of them aswell: Ima try to do a brief summary on H and Lou only, as this is reffered to Larries.

Louis: Perfect Boyfriend, a stable girlfriend throughout the years, influencer pretty girlfriend, no background on her so no backlash, constant papwalks on them and the occasional 'theyre toguether' tweets. Literally what it would be normalized as a happy relationship.

Harry: Fuck Boy, dated a lot of people, womaniser, headlines every week linking him to a new person, kendall, Taylor, Caroline etc, all big names yet all stunts, papwalks, 18 months of dating or interaction then never talked about again, the boy to wisk you away to a magical night then leave you the next morning.

Now taking these both you can see they are very different narratives, thus enabling them for two very distinctive ways to hinting at their sexuality with us.

Louis due to stunt reasons had to make his love songs (or his songs overall) seem like they hint at a specific girl, eleanor. Building up on the narrative they've had over the years. So while he can't directly call out his 'perfect woman' in gender neutral pronouns like Harry does, he CAN on the other hand choose what he specifies her as: a good chef, long brown hair paired with a british accent.

Very specific things that very obviously link to Harry while making press and hets think its towards Eleanor.

That one interview which didn't air where Louis said he had a boyfriend...

But this is just verbal. Lyric whise Louis has been more open and smart then anyone I've ever listened to-

The lyrics directly paralleling gay relationship, the struggles, the fear of not being able to be with them... Everything that a Heterosexual reletionship would NEVER experience. A few examples:

→Alive - One Direction (Louis) MM

"My mama told me I should go and get some therapy"

"I asked the doctor, "can you find out what is wrong with me? I don't know why I wanna be with every girl I meet"

"I can't control it"

"She said, "hey, it's alright Does it make you feel alive?"

"We got to live before we get older. Do what we like, we got nothing to lose. Shake off the weight of the world from your shoulders. Oh, we got nothing to prove"

"Went to a party just after the doctor talked to me, I met a girl, I took her in up to the balcony, I whispered something in her ear that I just can't repeat, She said, "okay" but she was worried what her friends will think"

This whole song is about questioning you sexuality and realizing you like the same sex.

Read over the lyrics and change:

girl - boy

she/her - he/him

and you'll see what I mean

→End Of The Day (Louis and Liam) MITAM

"Love can be frightening for sure"

"All I know at the end of the day is you want what you want and you say what you say, And you'll follow your heart even though it'll break, Sometimes"

"All I know at the end of the day is love who you love, There ain't no other way, If there's something I've learnt from a million mistakes, You're the one that I want at the end of the day"

"The priest thinks it's the devil, My mum thinks it's the flu, But girl it's only you"

"When the sun goes I know that you and me and everything will be alright, And when the city's sleeping, you and I can stay awake and keep on dreaming"

this whole song (apart from that one "girl") is just a huge gay awakening. If you keep the girl its a wlw anthem then.

some more exaples from scattered songs:

"There's a moment when you finally realize, There's no way you can change the rolling tide" -Ready To Run

"There will always be the kind that criticize, But I know, yes I know we'll be alright" -Ready To Run

"Told myself I kind of liked her, But there was something missing in her eyes" -Home

"I was stumbling, looking in the dark , With an empty heart, But you say you feel the same"-Home

"Still high with a little feeling, I see the smile as it starts to creep in, It was there, I saw it in your eyes" -Home

"But I know you're only hiding, And I just wanna see you" -Through The Dark

"And I can see your head is held in shame, But I just wanna see you smile again" -Through The Dark

"And I will hold you closer, Hope your heart is strong enough" -Through the dark

"People say we shouldn't be together, We're too young to know about forever" -TDKAU

"They don't know about the things we do, They don't know about the "I love yous"-TDKAU

these are just some out of the many Louis wrote. You can see where I'm going with it now.

and im not even going to touch i to all the shading Louis did with his clothes, tattoos, actions etc...

Now, Harry 'got away' with those actions because of various reasons, but I wouldn't say that he got away, I'd call it more of a "You stop me from doing this we will get backlash for possible homophobia and then y'all lose money so suck it up fuckers we're going on a rainbow ride" which is true; Yes, Harry did always refer to his ideal partner in gender neutral forms, but during the rainbow direction project was when he really amped it up so he could always go with the casual "I'm just supporting my fans, there's no harm in that" when confronted about it, which includes him waving the flags around and all the other stuff.

But it also seems you all are forgetting about how along with all the Queer!Harry we got, we also got more and more headlines of Wom!Harry, more stunts and etc: 5 different official relationships (not counting Kendal twice, which would make 6) between late 2014-early 2016 ALSO NOT COUNTING RUMOURED GIRLFRIENDS which then would make the list go so much higher, Harry couldn't before and still can't hang out with WOMEN or else there will be rumours of them dating.

And this doesn't happen with Men :/ He can hang put with multiple men, and there probably will be barelly one and a half articles written about it -only by small outlets- which in comparison to when he is seen hanging our with a 'mysterious woman' we'll get hundreds of articles about it in a span of an hour.

So what I'm trying to say is that sadly he can still call his ideal partner a he and be seen kissing a guy that the media probably will focus on the chick on the background and write an article like "Harry Styles seen out with friends in LA and he seemed extra cozy with mysterious blonde".

But again, the same with Louis, he hints at us about his sexuality so much, be it us the only one who properly listens to him.

With his songs and the flags and the pins and everything.

Here's some of his lyrics from the Oned era:

"We were meant to be but a twist of fate, Made it so you had to walk away" -Happily

"I don't care what people say when we're together"-Happily

"I can't even think straight but I can tell, You were just with her"-JABOYL

"And nothing's ever easy, That's what they say"-JABOYL

"Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down, Right now I'm completely defenseless"-If I Could Fly

"I've got scars even though they can't always be seen, And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing"-If I Could Fly

"One day you'll come into my world and say it all, You say we'll be together even when you're lost"-Something Great

"I want you here with me, Like how I pictured it, So I don't have to keep imagining"-Something Great

"The script was written and I could not change a thing, I want to rip it all to shreds and start again"-Something Great

"You're all I want, So much it's hurting"-Something Great

So yeah, its sad that you just alienated that one thing without having context nor looking at the bigger picture. If I missed anything please tell me. :]

sorry for the long post

(copied from my answer on twitter)

[skamenglishsubs]

Subtext and Culture, Season 2, Episode 12

Subtext: Although the show is never explicit about it, it shows how William respects Noora’s consent. Noora has repeatedly said she doesn’t want to have sex with him yet, which is why he pulls away from her during their morning in-bed makeout session. Noora wants to keep making out, but William isn’t interested in only that, which is why he’s pushing Noora away. Subtext: This is the closest the show ever comes to saying anything outright about eating disorders, and even then Noora masks it by saying that her experiences at thirteen made her “‘kind of sick”. Subtext: The overarching theme of this season is that Noora is constantly torn between doing what she thinks is right, and doing what she wants, and in case you still haven’t gotten this theme, William is spelling it out for us here. Subtext: Right after making the decision to move in with William, to do what she wants, she tells him not to hold back when making out, because she also decided at that exact moment that she’s ready to have sex with him. Unfortunately, this is interrupted by William noticing a letter from the police.

Culture: Most Scandinavians are probably a lot more familiar with how the US justice system works, due to having watched numerous courtroom dramas or police dramas produced there. The Norwegian justice system is a lot less adversarial, much more boring, and a lot less suitable for juicy tv dramas, so most Norwegians don’t really know the details of their own justice system. Norway doesn’t have Miranda warnings, and the rules around witness testimonies in court are completely different, so the ‘right to remain silent’ actually isn’t a thing. Subtext: Again, having Vilde be the adult voice of reason is pretty smart, because telling the police about the high-school drama about who-called-who-a-slut and who-had-to-get-back-at-who isn’t gonna work, they actually don’t care, the whole thing is ridiculous. Smashing a bottle over someone’s head is aggravated assault though, and that is serious enough for them to care about. Culture: The song that starts playing at the end of this clip is called Si Ingenting by Kamelen, and the lyrics at this part of the refrain goes: “If the cops ask, say nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.” Culture: Skogtur is a vintage Norwegian porno movie from the 90′s with hilariously cringey dialogue. It can be easily found on the internet, but Google it at your own risk. Eskild is referencing the dialogue of the movie, but exactly which part is left as an exercise for the reader, because there are limits to the amount of research I’m willing to do for this series of posts.

Culture: William is flipping through Et dukkehjem, a play by famous Norwegian playright Henrik Ibsen, written in 1879. The main protagonist of the story is called Nora, and at the end of the play she leaves her husband to pursue her own life. At the time the play was written, it was considered absolutely outrageous to have a woman be so strong and independent that she could leave her marriage and children behind. Blink and you miss it: Both William and Nico have asked Noora why she spells her name with two o’s. Subtext: William only half spells out his reasoning, but it goes like this: If he can escape justice, if he can use his money and influence and rely on people to not speak up about what really happened, then Nico can do the same for his assault on Noora. It would be hypocritical of William to call out his brother for escaping justice, when he’s done exactly the same. So he takes his punishment on principle, to make sure Nico gets his punishment.

Blink and you miss it: Norwegian artist Astrid S whose songs have featured in the show make a cameo appearance. Blink and you miss it: Also making a cameo appearance is Marius Borg Høiby, oldest son of Crown Princess Mette-Marit, and half-brother to the royal children Princess Ingrid Alexandra and Prince Sverre Magnus. Did you blink and miss it? The BJ action Jonas talks about is the one in the very first episode this season that made Noora escape the flat-share to hang out with Jonas and Eva instead. Subtext: This is extremely not-subtle, but we never actually see Noora reply to William’s text. However, since the music cuts in with the lyrics “I wanna fuck you” at this point, it’s pretty clear what she wrote him. Season 2 of SKAM is much less subtle than season 1, the drama doesn’t rely on the characters having shared history, or details being kept from the viewers. Noora doesn’t mask her feelings towards William to us, it’s obvious that she likes him, and her struggle lies in allowing herself to like him. So even though this season is much longer than season 1 by runtime, there’s actually less to write about in the context of this series of posts, because it’s just a lot more straight-forward. And from a cultural perspective, season 1 already put down the foundations on how the school system works in Norway, the only thing this season adds is that we get to see more of russefeiring, but I intentionally left that out of this series of posts, since everyone ought to be familiar with it beforehand, since it plays such a huge part in the story. Season 3 should offer up a lot more sweet, juicy, delicious subtext though because of its subject matter, so keep reading!

[pleasuringmyprincess]

Love Letter

I wrote the following In July, but decided not to share it at that time. it's now October.  Circumstances change.

________________________________________________________________

I know this isn’t going to be easy for me, so please bear with me.

I’m looking for a new dom for my sub.

I’ve know Ren for six months or so, in a long distance relationship through circumstance rather than design. Circumstance being that I live in California, while she lives in England. This is not a full time LDR, work and family (I’m also from England) bring me to the UK regularly. So in the time we’ve known each other, I’ve travelled to England every 10-12 weeks, staying for 4-5 weeks each time, and I have two more trips scheduled for between now and the end of the year.

When I met Ren it was supposed to be just for play, but we found we had so much in common, so many shared interests outside in the real world, so much chemistry that a serious relationship quickly developed. 

Ren isn’t just a delightful sub, she’s a wonderful mother to two lovely children, she’s fantastic company, intelligent, fun loving, really smart, caring, upbeat all the time, but... there’s always a but, and for Ren it’s a big one.

Let’s start by saying if there was ever someone who didn’t deserve the deck she was dealt it’s Ren. Over the last 6 years her self-esteem has been shattered by her prior partners, (I’ll say no more than that they have one way or another treated her badly) and as a consequence she has suffered from severe depression, has Generalized Anxiety Disorder, has self-harmed, and most recently has been diagnosed and is now being successfully treated for severe Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD).

Pause a moment there - this is the same woman, the woman who has been shit on by the world is also the wonderful mother, the delightful, intelligent, fun loving, smart, caring woman. My unicorn.

Ren’s seen a few big changes recently, most significantly she finally was able to divorce her husband and move to a new home. Two big steps forward, but at a cost of greatly increased anxiety. Just after this she heard that she was losing her job - she’s highly skilled but works in a poorly paid profession and because of the need to care for her kids, can only work part time. And she’s just lost her dom. We’ll come back to that in a minute.

In a scene, Ren is delightful, absolutely exquisite. I couldn’t ask for more, it breaks my heart to think of letting her go. Outside of a scene though, she can be very hard work. It’s more a question of providing support and encouragement over discipline. I have lost count of the number of hours I’ve spent helping her through the pain she feels. When she’s particularly low, it can be 3-4 hours a day. That’s not a complaint, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat even now while I’m writing this. It’s just a sign of the level of commitment you need to make. And just so it’s clear, Ren knows she has these problems and spends a lot of time in self-care activities and while it helps, it’s not enough.

Ren’s a working single mum, on a budget, she’s already very disciplined, very ordered, but she still struggles with some things and I have not been as successful as I would have liked in helping her address these issues (although today she has just proved to me that she can do this unbidden when motivated). I’ve not got to the bottom of why this is, and frankly it’s not been a high priority for me. I’ve been focused on helping her improve her self-esteem, manage her anxiety and encourage her to seek treatment for her PMDD (yay me!). This has really been my primary goal. And while it’s too soon to be sure, it really looks like we have succeeded, her anxiety and PMDD are both under control now. She is far far stronger today than she was three months ago.

Unfortunately, helping her get treatment for PMDD may have been my downfall.

After six years in the wilderness Ren is becoming whole again, free from her past, independent, far stronger than she has been for many years. Strong enough to tell me that she wants to move on. Ren needs someone full time, I know this, we’ve discussed it at length, and I had already put plans in motion to return to live in England to be with her. Now Ren has told me that while I am returning to England, it's not soon enough for her - she doesn’t want to wait. She also has concerns about my marriage. I am divorcing, she knows this, but right now I am married, and my divorce is something that Ren does not want to feel responsible for - she’s not responsible, that ship sailed long ago, but she says she will still feel responsible, and that’s enough. And my age, I’m 14 years older than her, too old in her eyes for a long term commitment.

Now obviously I’m not too happy about this, we are/were amazingly good together and had I not worked so hard to help her through her problems I might not be in this position today. I do feel significantly responsible for Ren’s recent improvement. For giving her the support she needed; for helping her apply for jobs; for showing her that there was a man who would fight for her, accept her for who she is, respect her for it; for being the consistent and reliable dom she needed; and most significantly for getting her back to the doc and having her PMDD addressed. 

This is where I get a little twisted - one of the side effects of the medication Ren is taking for PMDD is possible impaired judgement. And there's part of me that thinks, dumping your dom like this wasn't the wisest thing to do right now. So the treatment for PMDD that I helped her get, might possibly be responsible for Ren taking what I think is an ill-judged decision in deciding that she’d rather seek out her perfect Dom than accept this one with all his flaws. I’m not blind to the fact that there’s part of me that thinks ‘Hey, I did the hard work in putting her back together and it would be nice to enjoy some of the benefits’, OK, I fully realize that’s selfish of me, but it’s understandable, I’m a dom, not a saint. To be clear though, it's not the decision I have a problem with, it's the hurried way she approached it.  But we serve at our sub’s pleasure, and so here we are.

As it is, and I’ve never shared this with anyone, not even Ren, until now. I made a promise to myself that I’d help her come what may. And if that means 'setting her free' and helping her find a dom who’s worthy of her, that’s what I’ll do.

And so I’m looking for a new dom for my sub.

If you think that you might possibly be able to be the dom Ren needs, I’d like to hear from you. Before you all shout, as you might have gathered, I hold Ren in very high regard, and I will not let her settle for anyone who isn’t good enough. And just to be clear, I’m not going away. Ren and I have every intention of remaining friends.

So can this be you?

Let’s see shall we.

You’ve got to accept that Ren is a rich multi-faceted human being. If you are looking for a fuck toy, stop here.

She’s looking for more than just a play partner. Listen to Lou Reid singing Perfect Day, if you can’t offer that, you can stop reading here. Married guys (like me), guys in poly, or any form of relationship with someone else, you can stop here, she wants exclusivity. Btw, if you’re separated, divorcing, or whatever, you’re still married, so you stop here too. You don’t drink sangria in the park with Ren, and then later when it gets dark go home to your wife (read the lyrics, it will make sense).

Age 40-50, no exceptions. You will be fit and healthy, height/weight proportional.

No diseases, you will provide current STI test results, and you will always use a condom.

It will help if you a pro-Remain, if not, you need to be able to offer a coherent argument against. Intelligence matters. 

As a submissive, Ren has specific needs, and specific limits. She needs pain, she needs to be spanked, mild to moderate use of a riding crop and paddle is OK, but not severe caning. She needs bondage both for the restraint and the art. Obviously there are other things as well, but she can share that if you meet, and I’m sure there are things that we’ve not tried that she will enjoy. She has limits and you will respect them. You will not humiliate her in any way, not even name calling. Not in play, not as punishment. There are other things you will not do, obviously, and again she can share them if you meet.

You must be an experienced Dom, having a fetlife account or a tumblr blog doesn’t count. You will meet me first. You will provide government photo ID, and references, and I will follow up on references in person.

Ren needs a Dom who is close by, someone who can see her 2-3 times a week without fail and who will remain in close contact when apart. Long distance relationships don’t work for her (ask me how I know), she needs to know you are close by, which means you must be within daily driving distance. No, she will not relocate. She has joint custody of her kids with her ex and that’s not going to change.

You’ve got to accept that she is not at your beck and call. She’s a mother, her kids come first and always will. You don’t even rate second place; like I said, she has a very demanding self-care program that takes a lot of her time, that comes next. She also has a cat. You might aspire to a position above the cat in her hierarchy, but I wouldn’t count on it.

________________________________________________________________

Don't take this as anything other than a mile marker down a road already travelled.

Applications are not currently being accepted. 

[charmingturkeysandwich]

I Could Use a Love Song Ch. 3: don’t need no reason or happy hour

Chapter 3 of my Country Singer!Emma AU is here. I added a tag on AO3 for alcohol abuse, because while I don’t think we have true alcoholism here... Emma’s coping mechanisms are shit and the heavy drinking isn’t the healthiest. I wanted to make sure that I added that warning here as well. Please don’t use alcohol like Emma does here. I know from experience it’s hella bad news. Find a therapist! This is actual advice, not a joke. For reals. Emma should have just gone to a counselor instead of making appointments with Jose Cuervo and Jack Daniels. If anyone has treated you the way this iteration of Neal treated Emma, talk to someone. If you can’t afford a therapist, talk to me. Seriously, no lie, no joke, I’m only alive today because I eventually adopted a dog and sought counseling to cope with life’s many traumas.

Mmmmkkay enough babbling. 

Also on AO3

Previous Chapters  1    |     2

Their next few gigs were some of the best in Emma’s (admittedly tequila-hazed) memory, and for once that glimmer of hope for that future of fame and fortune… well, it felt like a hell of a lot more than a glimmer.

The crowds had been rowdy, raucous, and ready to sing along to every song on their whole set. A few people even more some of the merch Killian had started selling at the door, nothing fancy of course, but it made her heart burst with pride nonetheless.

It had all gotten so real, so achievable, so close to everything she’s been dreaming about before she ever really knew that dreams were a thing that could come true.

So of course something was about to bring back the quasi-comfort of her life always reverting to being a waking nightmare.

That was a deeply melodramatic way of putting it – it’s not like she was being beaten or shamed or any of the daily torments her tiny town had ensured were burned into her brain. But that was the problem with the past, wasn’t it? It wasn’t over, even when it was. Those days were past but they would always somehow be present, replaying in her brain and aching in her heart no matter how far from Pennsylvania their little van puttered.

(Whoever said you can’t go home again neglected to mention how hard it was to leave it, even after you’d physically gone.)

It had been a Tuesday. In some chain grocery store outside Virginia Beach, the sun glowing through the big front windows and the icy chill of the air conditioning raising goosebumps on her bare arms. Emma had only echoes of a hangover, so Ruby’s constantly chatting wasn’t nearly as grating as it could be. They moved slowly through the aisles, tossing various food and supplies in their cart, more than fulfilling the list Graham and Mary Margaret had given them.

They were still struggling artists but some weeks the struggle was… less. This was one of them and if they decided to celebrate with Patron instead of Jose Cuervo and fresh, organic honeycrisp apples instead of Great Value brand dried apple chips, well, it’s because they damn well deserved it.

They couldn’t have been more than a few feet away from the checkout when the radio (a constant calming presence, most days, being the object of their ambition and all) caused her heart to drop to the deepest pits of her gut, twisting her insides until she was nearly dry-heaving to get the gross sensation of feelings out of her body and in the sewer system where it belonged.

They say scent is tied to memory, and it surely is, but there’s something, too, in sound. Music had a distinct way of tying itself to a moment, to a feeling. For some people that feeling was joy, was love, could be better than the best drug to intoxicate them with no risk of hangover. But for Emma, for this song in particular, it was all hangover, no high.

I’m set on cruise control

I’m slowly losing hold of everything I got

You’re looking so damn hot

The lyrics were innocuous enough. Sweet. Loving. There was certainly some couple out there – many, probably – who smiled fondly at each other when it came on. But for her, it was just a reminder of how pathetic she’d been, once upon a time, how deeply manipulated she’d been. And oh, the consequences she’d suffered for falling for a sweet voice and a pretty face and a moment that had felt like a country song.

And I don’t know what road we’re on

Or where we’ve been, from starin at you, girl

All I know is I don’t want this night to end

It had been a song she’d listened to in Neal’s truck, on a back road, the moon high and the stars bright and her heart hammering in her chest before he leaned over the center counsel parked in his daddy’s field and kissed her like she was precious, like she was, like he could love her through this life and the next.

And even today, half-hungover in a Piggly Wiggly or whatever the fuck this place was, she still felt the whisper of butterflies in her. She still remembered how much she’d believed the lies and even hoped the bad stuff wasn’t actually real, holding on to nights like that first one, her and Neal seemingly the only two people on Earth and all she’d ever need to feel whole again.

Emma Swan was a fighter, a survivor, a strong, badass woman that no man would ever hurt again.

But one Luke Bryan song on a clear Tuesday afternoon had her so torn up in shame, she almost forgot her best friend was standing beside her, her little “family” of a band and crew waiting for her back at the block of hotel rooms down the road.

She wasn’t in Pennsylvania. Neal wasn’t anywhere near her. But she could practically smell his cologne and the exhaust of his truck and the fact that there was a tiny part of her that truly still wished it had all worked out, that he’d been the happily ever after she’d wanted, and she wanted to slap herself silly for how stupid one smart girl could be.

“I think we can afford some Reese’s mix, right?” Ruby asked, already tossing two bags in the cart as they entered the self-checkout line.

“Yeah,” was all Emma could respond, her traitor brain still wavering between wishing for an alternate ending to her stupid, sad tale and coming totally clean to Ruby about what horrors she’d suffered and hitting the road with her on a revenge-fueled quest to keep that fucker from ever hurting another sweet, could-be-innocent girl ever again.

“Emma, you with me?” Ruby’s voice was hesitant, her eyes wide as she took in Emma’s likely ghost-pale complexion and battle-ready stance.

(She was always fighting those internal ghosts and damn could those things travel.)

But she didn’t want to think about Neal or the bruises long-healed or how she wishes she could time travel back and prevent the most painful part of what that monster had done to her, the part where for a pretty little minute she truly thought she’d loved him.

No. The past might be doing its damnedest to creep into today but she was not going to let it.

Fuck you, Luke Bryan, and all your pelvic sorcery.

“God, I hate this song,” Emma finally croaked out. “I think we should celebrate today.”

“Celebrate how much you hate a song that I’m fairly sure David would kill you for hating?”

“No, Rubes. Celebrate this,” Emma motioned all around them, somewhat erratically, only serving to further confuse Ruby. At least for a moment. “We’re really getting somewhere, aren’t we? I mean, three hotel rooms. That’s, like, a record. We’re getting somewhere. You and I, we came from some shit, right? And now we’re headed toward something good and I think we should celebrate.”

“And how exactly do you propose we celebrate this? Because if it’s by having a four-way with Graham and Killian I’m absolutely in, with just a couple ground rules – “

Emma cut off her teasing before her brain had enough time to make any visuals of that: “Ew. God, no. Why does your brain even go there? No. I just meant, you know, hitting some bars or the beach or something. Day drinking. It’s the ultimate in enjoyment and not giving a fuck.”

“So you’re suggesting we celebrate the good the same way we drown our sorrows in the bad?” Ruby mocked, tossing the groceries on the conveyor belt and a packet of mints at Emma’s head.

“No, you drink your sorrows in the dark. You drink your celebrations when the sun’s out,” Emma said like it was the most normal, accepted thing in the world, like she was reciting it from a code of conduct instead of having made it up on the spot to cover for the fact that she very much, one hundred percent was drowning her sorrows but just didn’t have the patience to wait for the sun to set.

“Sure, Ems. Let’s go with that.” Ruby clearly wasn’t buying her bullshit – she always did have an excellent bullshit detector – but she went along with it all the same.

Emma paid for the groceries and hefted as many bags to the car as she could possibly carry, the burn in her arms like the warmth of the sun as she flip-flopped her way to the awaiting van, a great day of drinking and forgettingahead of her.

The usual six of them turned into seven that day, Killian’s old buddy from the service having been stationed at the naval base in Norfolk and here for a visit. Will, that was his name, and he was a pain in the ass in the very best way. He had been matching her shot-for-shot in the hotel room before they hopped the Uber to The Cove, a beachside bar favored by locals and tourists alike. He would tease her and taunt her and buy her drinks, but with absolutely the energy of a brother and not a I’m looking to get into your pants kind of way.

David saw her as a sister, sure, but he tended toward the serious, the protective. He cared so much and knew too much, and it kept him from being totally lighthearted or even downright rude. And Graham, well he never paid Emma quite that much attention, always on his own quests and whatnot. She couldn’t blame the guy, and truly she didn’t usually want attention, but there was something about today, something about the casual nature of her exchanges with Will that allowed her to just be free.

Killian wasn’t quite on board, though. Ever since she and Ruby had floated the idea of some casual no-show-tonight fun, he’d been weirdly quiet. Mary Margaret and David were notably excited, seeming to view it as an opportunity for date night, even with the five other tagalongs. And Ruby was pretty much always up for a party.

But Killian seemed to be cranky at her and she couldn’t figure out why.

“Let loose, why don’t you, Jones!” Emma shouted across the bar, Killian nursing a rum and coke while Ruby, Will, and Emma had joined another group of probable-tourists in a limbo competition.

“Eh, let him sulk,” Will had suggested, stumbling a little after returning to the upright position. He was suspiciously good at the limbo. Maybe he’d been a gymnast in another life?

“I’ll get him, Em,” Ruby promised, having fallen flat on her ass after the last round (the responding ooooohhhhhhshaving more to do with her skirt riding up to her waist as she fell than it was about the fall itself).

Ruby had spent the next hour or so in the corner with Killian, both steadily drinking but never really coming to re-join the party. So Emma and Will kept socializing with strangers while Graham flirted hard with a pretty girl and Mary Margaret and David found another grossly into each other couple to apparently double date with, because of course they did.

After a few drinking games, a few messy dances, and definitely too much liquor for before 5pm, Emma finally took a break, she and Will sidling up to the bar and ordering some nachos.

“Y’know, you’re not nearly as pretty as Killian described you,” Will said after a few minutes of nacho-focused silence.

“Hey! I think you’re insulting me and I don’t appreciate it,” Emma responded, cheese dripping down the corner of her mouth.

“Way he talks, you’d think you were a bleeding fallen angel or something. I definitely didn’t expect a hot mess who talked with her mouth full.”

“Hah! You said hot. I still got it,” she joked, chomping down on another cheese and chili covered chip.

Emma had become pretty good at reading people – people tended to adapt after you suffering the consequences of falling for it – and Will definitely wasn’t flirting with her. At least not with actual intent. So why on earth had he brought up her looks?

She was happy to play along with whatever game he had going, was even feeling a little bolder and more confident than usual with his carefree attitude and his backward compliments.

But his next comment was the proverbial bucket of ice on any of those feelings.

“He’s a good man, Emma. I hope you don’t toy with him.”

“Excuse me?” What exactly was this fucker accusing her of? She hadn’t even talked to Killian since they’d been at the hotel and she certainly hadn’t been mean. No, even at her most prickly, she was never all-out mean to him. He was a good guy, the type to hold your hair when you puked and nearly the opposite of her initial assumptions about him. Of course she’d never ‘toy with him.’ The fucking nerve of this dude.

“I don’t think you know me enough to continue those thoughts, Scarlet,” she warned, shoving the nachos away and downing her fruity drink.

“Don’t get me wrong. I like you, Emma. You’d make a good mate. But I’m more like you than you realize, and I know how many people I hurt before I got myself straight. Just … keep that in mind, won’t ya?”

And then the bastard just… left.

He didn’t say goodbye to anyone – not even to Killian – and left Emma pissed as all hell and sitting alone at a tourist trap in the worst city in all of Virginia.

So much for that attempt at celebration.

But before her thoughts (and actions) could turn to the dark side, Graham and David were approaching her for a friendly tournament of darts and after a couple bulls eyes and a little light taunting, her carefree spirit had returned, just in time to kick Mary Margaret’s ass and move onto the championship game between her and Killian.

“So, that friend of yours is something,” Emma observed, tossing her first set of darts and landing them with soft thunks into the felt.

“Will? Aye. He’s… he’s been a friend for quite a long time. There for me for some pain. So I choose to keep his pain-in-the-ass existence around.” His tone was light and his words sincere, but there was a weight to his expression that Emma didn’t quite understand.

He took his turn, little glints in his eye and mini-fist pumps when he hit his intended target. It was adorable, to be honest. But there was definitely something wrong and despite Will’s seeming accusations about her and her abilities to be a good friend, she wanted nothing more than to take away whatever pain he was reliving at the moment.

So she lost – yes, intentionally – and dragged him to the bar, ordering him some straight whiskey to loosen him up and hopefully to help him forget like she already was.

“Why, Swan, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to get me drunk,” he practically purred, breaking the flirty tone with a gentle boop to her nose. “Which is usually my tactic.”

“Easy, Captain,” she joked with him, fiddling with the prosthetic ‘hook’ contraption he wore when they went out (it’s a perfect beer holder, he’d said, to which she’d responded yeah, right, you just want to play pirate).

Despite the fog of the liquor, a few facts clicked into place. He’d suffered some bad shit in his past, shit Will apparently witnessed. Killian had also lost his hand, probably in the Navy. And this town, it wasn’t far from a navy base. Could that have been his navy base? Had they inadvertently brought Killian to the scene of the crime, so to speak?

The way she never wanted to go back to her ‘hometown,’ the place she’d lived the longest and suffered the most… what if that’s how he felt here? What if she’d suggested they celebrate over the grave of whatever and whoever he lost?

God, she was a hot mess and she was dangerous, the way she sank into her pain without looking into anyone else’s.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she wanted to apologize. Or something. “I’m sorry about this. Or, I guess, about whatever led to this. Or accompanied it. I’m just… I’m just sorry?”

“For the ungodly amount of liquor you’re pressuring me into drinking? Don’t worry, love, I’m a big boy.”

Ugh, the deflection. She knew that tactic well. “No, I mean this,” she said, gripping the elbow of his damaged arm. “I don’t know what happened and I’m not asking, but I just want you to know that I’m sorry. Not in the fault kind of way. Just the way where I wish it hadn’t happened and I know there’s pain and you didn’t deserve it. Or don’t. Currently. You know what I mean.”

“I think you’re drunk off your ass, darling.”

“Call me darling one more time and you’ll be the one on your ass.”

“So defensive, jeez,” he quipped, finishing another drink and slamming the glass back down on the table, his face melting into something a little more serious, if only for a moment. “Thank you, Swan,” he said finally, cupping her cheek with his right hand.

Her heart about stopped as his eyes bored into hers. It was much too much, the closeness, the feel of his hand, the heat of his body, the truth in his eyes, and all she wanted was to go back to teasing and laughing and strangers who didn’t have feelings or at least didn’t share them with her and why did she even bring it up, anyway? Just because Will had made her feel bad? Why shouldn’t they drink away their pain if it quieted the demons for one blessed day? Why should we have to suffer the same memories over and over when instead we could just fucking let go.

She should have just stuck to letting go.

But his intense sincerity washed away in a blink, his flirty near-pirate persona back with a vengeance. “Now, Swan, what game shall I best you at next?” His gentle caress on her cheek turned into a full grip, his fingers scrunching her face almost comically.

“Name it, Jones. You’re on.”

Turns out their little crew had signed them all up for a cornhole tournament out on the sand and Graham had called dibs on Emma as a partner, for which she was thankful. He was pretty boss at all bar games, and she had a competitive streak even without her BAC being higher than her high school GPA.

But get her drunk and she’d pretty much lie, cheat, and steal her way to bragging rights on whatever silly game they were playing.

So of course she and Graham had made it to the finals, their opponents two bikini-clad college girls who could trash talk like no other.

Which is why Emma was totally fine with the little plot she had brewing in her head.

“Graham, we need distractions here.”

“What do you mean, like have Mary Margaret set something on fire again?”

“Oh, come on. Pretty girls. Fun, happy, drunk, pretty girls. I saw them ogling you earlier so they’re probably straight. Take your shirt off. Now!”

“I always said I’d reject your advances when you inevitably tried to get me naked, Swan, but you drive a hard bargain.”

Emma rolled her eyes, but Graham did as instructed, stretching lazily and pantomiming sweat before pulling at the neck of his t-shirt and whisking it over his head.

The girls missed their next shots, and Graham had the chance to win it with this last toss and Emma was ready to bust out her victory dance just a tad prematurely.

Until the brunette untied her bikini top and let the fabric fall to her waist just as Graham was taking his shot.

He missed, of course.

Damn, these girls were good.

“Can I be of assistance?” a husky voice offered, his breath ticking her ear lobe.

Killian, of course.

“What exactly can you offer, Jones?” Graham swooped in to ask, clearly annoyed that his bare chest hadn’t yet won them the game.

“Well, Graham, Emma here assures me that you’re one ‘fine specimen of man’ but sadly to those girls you’re all talk and no action, across the beach from them, separated by this very game. I think they need something a little more… tactile.”

Killian was over-confident when he was drinking, but it’s not as if he were wrong. If she were one of those girls and Killian came up to her, with his sultry accent and his maddening smirk and the way he’d run his fingers through her long hair…

Yeah, it would work. Definitely. Yup.

“Go for it, Jones, but don’t come crying to us if they don’t take to your charms the way you want them to,” Emma warned, rolling her eyes and banishing all inappropriate thoughts of Killian Jones to the dark recesses of her mind with her knowledge of calculus and the memory of that time she walked in on Mary Margaret sucking David off in their shared kitchen back in Pittsburgh.

Killians voice alone proved distracting enough for the blonde girl to miss her shot and Graham, his ego now challenged, sank his with ease.

Emma cheered far too loud and leaped into Graham’s arms, her legs around his waist, Ruby rushing up to high five them and pass along a few more shots to keep the day rolling.

By the time the sun sank behind the bar, the ocean in front of them streaked with the deep blues and purples of twilight, Emma was well past drunk and definitely no longer thinking of any painful backstories or traumas or anything, really, but the cinnamon burn of the Fireball and the feel of Killian’s arm around her as they walked down a set of stairs to a fire pit so much like those that she’d built on the banks of the Allegheny and yet so different, the smell of the salt of the ocean and the leather of Killian’s jacket keeping her brain from connecting the present to the past.

“Jones, haven’t you ever heard you’re supposed to keep your hands to yourself in the presence of a lady?” she teased, wiggling her shoulders where he was grasping her.

“Aye, but I see no ladies here!” He chuckled and she elbowed him and he bowed his head to her ear as they stepped down the last stair. “Besides, love, what if you’d fallen and no one was there to save you?”

She rolled her eyes again, shrugging off his support now that there was no excuse for it, solid ground beneath their feet. “Oh, I’m a loud screamer. Someone would have come for me.”

“Oh, how I’d like to experience both of those things for myself…” Killian groaned, his mind of course solidly in the gutter.

Emma just laughed it off and stumbled toward the fire, joining Mary Margaret and David on a log clearly only meant for two.

Tomorrow was going to be hell, definitely more than just the echo of a hangover. But they had hotel rooms and each other and now and really those things alone made every minute of tomorrow’s inevitable headache more worth it than she could ever have fathomed in any stage of her life before this one.

[heartxshaped-bruises]

✧･ﾟ the quarantine-only oc project

This here’s for @yourlovingspy​ after they came up with this magnificent idea !! The rules are simple: This temporary OC was made from scratch, using this post and will only be played during the pandemic to brighten up our mood, as we’re stuck in self-isolation. When everything’s over, it’s over.

First off; I couldn’t find a suiting FC so I’ll just go without one for now.

Name: Christian ‘ Kit ‘ Elliott Height: 1,73 m   (( short but fierce in his words )) Body Type: Very slender. defined arms Looks: chiseled jawline, friendly dark-grey eyes. half-long hair; dark undercut. dyes his hair - A. LOT. would be referred to as cute or pretty rather than classically handsome by others. Song: Pumped up kicks by Foster The People (( I went with the vibe, not the lyrics 😅 ))

Kit is a very laid-back, fun-loving and loyal boy with a generally positive attitude. He’s that kind of a guy who’d drive you everywhere if you just asked and who sings along to all the songs on the radio, even the ones he doesn’t know. He got raised by a single mother of three and has two younger sisters; the youngest being 13 and the other 15 years old. The neighborhood he grew up in was your typical working class and with their father always in and out of their lives, struggling with the alimony, the Elliott kids didn’t have access to the latest things. Their mother was well-liked and would receive second-hand-clothing from other families. Kit will wear anything he can get his hands on; if he likes it he calls dibbs on it.

Most of his shirts are usually bleached out from the long-term use, but even after he started to work at a local gas-station, he still seems to only own ripped jeans. Not because he couldn’t afford something else, but because he likes it. He dyes his naturally brown hair a lot but since he does it on his own, it always turns out kinda sloppy. It all started when he found a newspaper advertisement where hairdresser apprentices were looking for models to practice on in change for money. His mom didn’t approve of his whims since he always had a lot of them, but got used to it. Others would describe him as a teasing, little (non-malicious) trouble-maker who was always up for the next adventure with his best friend. Kit had always been a people-pleaser and an opportunist. He’d avoid drama but if confronted, would always fight back and also say shit he wouldn’t mean. He does have his morals but will always look for a loophole in order to get what he wants without heavily violating them.

He’s into abandoned places, slack-lining and music and has a habit of shoplifting. For an example, he’d always take stuff like nail polish for his sisters (( that he’d use himself as well )). Before the world started to end he frankly had no idea what he wanted in life. He was a smart kid in school - smart but lazy, didn’t take it seriously and had other priorities like hanging out with his mate or day-dreaming. College wasn’t a real option, money- and grade-wise, and scholarships were off the table since he missed the opportunities to qualify.

THE NPC: Her name is Ruth Doyle and she’s a woman in her late 30ies from Kit’s neighborhood. She was inspired by Down in the Willow-Garden by The Everly Brothers and her and Kit’s relationship song was Lost Continent by The Comsat Angels. She’s a very melancholic woman, has a heavy and hurt heart but a gentle soul. During long and warm summer evenings Kit would hang out with her on her front porch. She’s one of the few people Kit knows who ever told him that they liked his hair, what was the main reason why he took a liking on the woman. She was new in the neighborhood and people would talk about her, especially since her and Kit would spend time with each other. Kit’s mother accused her of getting him into smoking but little did she knew that he already did that before he met Ruth. With her he just dared to do it in front of everyone’s eyes. And oh, they’d smoke a lot during those evenings.

She seemed to go through quite a lot what was the reason why she moved here at all. Kit, a sensible soul, sensed that she was lonely. She’d work at odd hours and would never let him in on what she did, but he’d always pick up (( or snatch )) stuff for her at the stores or help her carry things from her car to her door. But she never asked him to come in. Kit considers her a real lady and more real than the people around them. They share the same kind of humor and she once told him that he was a total keeper.

[ijustwannawritesomeshitok]

A mistake PART 2 (Ben Hardy!Roger x Reader)

A/N: Hello! Some lovely people asked for a part two of “a mistake” so here it is. It will have three parts in total, but I have no idea yet when I will post part three, since I’m very busy writing my thesis (god help me, it’s the absolute worst and I don’t even want to graduate anymore, I just want to sleep). I hope you (somehow) enjoy this!!! :)

Length: 911 words (wow, look at me, already writing slightly longer pieces, one day I’ll get there)

Warnings: swearing, mistakes and AN OVERUSE OF COMMAS (I really like commas, ok? Fight me)

part 1

this gif has nothing to do with the story but let me be

It’s been almost a month and yet you’re still wearing the necklace he gave you. Two little drumsticks to remind you of him. Though he liked showing you off to the world, and letting the world know you were his, he didn’t want to give you something as simple as the letter R on a necklace. Something subtler, yet obvious enough for everyone to know from whom you got it. You wanted to take it off, maybe even throw it away, but you didn’t have the heart to do so. It gave you comfort, even when you didn’t want it to give you comfort. After all he did, you still love him and you’re not sure if you can ever un-love him.

You look in the mirror while pulling the red jumper over your head. This is definitely not the most fashionable you have ever looked, but it will do for today. It’s not too neat, but also not too flashy and perfectly fine for a job interview at the local café where you don’t actually want to work anyway, but you need the money. Being in your last year of university meant most companies didn’t want to you to work for them yet, because they needed someone for either full time, or someone with more experience. But it might be good for you to get out of the house, to get distracted from your own life. You brush your hair one more time and grab the bag from the ground. Ready to go.

--

“How does Tuesday sound?” “Tuesday is fine.” “Wonderful. I’ll make sure to have everything ready. Welcome to our team Y/N.” The middle-aged woman holds out her hand. “Thank you so much,” you smile and shake her hand. “I’ll see you on Tuesday!”

You give her a wave and then close the door behind you, walking into the café itself. The interview was a lot less awful than expected, actually, it was rather fun. Jane, the owner, was incredibly nice and even already made some jokes. Not that bad of a boss.

“Y/N?” You stop, immediately recognizing the voice. Slowly you turn around, seeing exactly who you thought it was. “Hey Brian.” You give him a small smile. “Just a hey Brian?” He laughs and opens his arms. You accept his warm invitation and take a step forwards into his arms. He hugs you tightly, a form of human contact you had missed in the last month. Just as you thought that thought, you realized how pathetic it sounded and you were grateful no one is able to hear your thought process.

“How have you been?” He smiles lightly, but on his face you can see he regrets the question. Asking the ex-girlfriend of your best mate how she has been after said mate cheated on her, not once, but three fucking times, is perhaps not the best question to ask. But you force a smile.

“I’m okay.” “That’s good.” “Yea, I guess it is.” Your hand automatically moves up to your neckless, fiddling with it without even noticing what you are doing. Unknowingly mentioning to Brian that maybe, definitely, you are not okay.

“How are you?” You ask after a few seconds of silence. On one hand you want to keep the conversation going, know everything about what he has been up to, hoping he tells you about Roger, though on the other hand, you know, you’re better off if this conversation ends soon. You shouldn’t want to know about Roger, you should move on, just like he probably did.

“Good, good. Mostly busy. Recording our next album now.” His face slightly lights up. “That’s amazing, Brian.” You try to think of something else to say, but all your mind can think about is the recording sessions of the last album. How you often just sat there on the couch, watching them create melodies and lyrics. Fighting and bickering, but in the end making the most amazing songs. Watching them work full passion, seeing their struggle but mostly their love for music. Seeing Roger glance at you with a smile when he thinks you’re not looking, but you definitely were. You couldn’t look away from that beautiful face of his, that beautiful face that now makes you feel pain instead of love, that face that makes you angry and sad and confused, but yet also still in love, all at the same time.

“You should,” he pauses for a moment. Unsure if what he was going to say, is the right thing to say to you. “You should stop by.” “I,” you take a breath and look down at your feet. “I’m not sure if that’s a smart thing to do. I mean, I want to but, I can’t. I can’t. I really can’t.” “Of course, I understand.” “I have to go Brian,” you say while already walking away to the door. “I’ll see you later.” “Wait. Y/N wait!” You don’t want to ignore him, but you can’t continue the conversation. Thousands of possible situations coming up in your head, for if you actually visit the studio. Not knowing if you would start screaming at Roger, or perhaps you’d just fall into his arms, or so many other options.

You walk through the door and just when it’s about to close, you hear it. He misses you. Brian’s voice rings through your ears, through your head, through your whole fucking body. He misses you. Roger misses you.

---

part 3

Taglist: @oohlovergirl​ @wonderless-screwup @thewinchesterchronicles @psychoticobsession 

[evil-is-relative]

🖊 Darva!

This was meant to be gushing and instead turned into a chapter-long snippet. 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Darva sat on the curving steps of the Solitude BluePalace, watching Queen Elisif trying to shoo the strange man from High Rock outthe door as politely as she could. It was taking a long time, and even Darvacould tell the Queen wanted the man gone, but he didn’t seem to get it. He justkept bowing over her hand and kissing the back of it, starting up her wristuntil she pulled it away.

    Perhaps she wanted some help?

    “Auntie Eli,” she said, as loudly as she could in thattone of voice Blaise used when luring someone into answering an “innocent” question,“You said you’d listen to my new song!”

    Elisif startled, then smiled. “Of course, sweetheart.”Turning to the rude man, she tried to excuse herself again, but he was frowningat Darva, mustache curling down in a frown. Darva wasn’t sure she’d met anyonefrom High Rock before besides Blaise, but she hoped they didn’t all dress likea half-rotting flower arrangement.

    “Dear Elisif, who is this…child?” he said the word as ifhe had wanted to say something else.

    Darva looked at him blandly, then pretended to sneeze, “Iiz!”

    The floor turned to ice between her and the man, nearly catchinghis foot before he jumped out of the way. He yelped in surprise and stared ather a long moment. Smiling winsomely, she chirped, “Excuse me!”

    The man left without any more delay.

    “That was devious, Darva,” Elisif told her sternly. Darva’sface fell, feeling cold at the idea that she’d been Bad again, but then theQueen smiled. “Thank you.”

    Exhaling heavily in relief, she smiled at the prettyqueen and took her hand, skipping along as Elisif returned to her throne room.Court was not officially in session at the moment, and most of the Thanes wereoff conducting business of their own over lunch. Darva’s mother showing up to trulytake her place as Thane had shaken up the power-structure of the Court, Bormahhad explained. Darva was glad Bormah was smart and able to explain these thingsto her, because she wasn’t quiet getting it. The only ones who seemed to followit at all well were Runa, who was almost an adult herself, and–weirdly enough—Blaise.

    “Auntie” Elisif was Queen, and the queen should be incharge, right? Apparently that wasn’t so—the Thanes and advisers held a lot ofpower here as well, and General Tullius was at least as much in charge asElisif. The Court was divided on the war, and the direction Skyrim should goin, and everyone missed the former king that Ulfric had Shouted down. Elisifhadn’t been raised to rule, and had struggled her first few years. Bormah hadexplained it like Shouting: Darva was born Dragonborn, and picked up Shouts easily,but Alesan wasn’t born with the ability, and was taking a long time and puttinga lot of effort into learning.

    Darva glanced up at the woman, who had welcomed hermother with such relief that Court had stopped for the day. Ysmir and Elisifhad “caught up” with each other the rest of the day, which sounded nice until Darvalearned the Queen had basically collapsed into tears because everyone wastrying to force her into picking a spouse, desperate to have a strong leaderthey could point to again, and not a grieving young woman with no experience ruling,forced into the role by her husband’s untimely demise.

    Elisif didn’t want to marry again. She had loved herhusband dearly, and the thought of replacing him with a stranger made her ill. She’dbegged Ysmir to move back to Solitude so she’d have someone on her side, andanother young woman around to remind her Court that a delicate face and builddid not mean a weak mind.

    Darva didn’t know anything about ruling, but she did knowthat Elisif needed to have some fun, so she made it a point to go to Court withher mother sometimes and sing the Queen the new songs she was learning at theBard’s College, or play the pretty harp Bormah had given her, which had apparentlybelonged to his mother. Since Bormah had been trapped in A-pocky-fa for so longDarva didn’t know the numbers yet, she guessed the harp was really old. The bardshad gone into a strange, excited sort of panic when they had seen it.

    “Auntie Eli?” she started hesitantly, climbing up ontothe chair in Elisif’s room where the Queen’s lunch had been set out, “Do youthink you’d want to marry again someday? Aren’t you lonely?”

    Elisif froze, then looked down, her expression quiet and sad. “Yes,”she replied softly, “I am a little lonely. I miss Torygg every day, and I tryto rule the way he’d want. But it’s because I miss him so much that I don’tthink I’ll marry again. Some of the people who have come to meet me have beenlovely, friendly people, but…” she sat, then just gazed at the girl as ifwondering how to explain. Shrugging, she finally said, “It will be a long timeuntil I can even think of marrying again, Darva, and if that happens, I have tothink of Skyrim, too. Even if I somehow fall madly in love again, I must be surethe person would help me care for my country before I’d consider giving them acrown. And I’m not giving them my crown,”she added vehemently, “no matter how much some of my Court might wish!”

    Shrugging, Darva bit into some soft bread and cheese. “Mommasays she’s never getting married,” she told the queen matter-of-factly. “Shewon’t tell me why yet, but she’s very sure about it. I was wondering if youwere sure the same way she was sure. Momma has Bormah and Papa Farkas, though, andshe used to have Papa Vilkas, even though she won’t marry them. I hope you canfind someone to not-marry too, so you won’t be lonely anymore.”

    Smile lighting her eyes, Elisif leaned over and pattedDarva’s hand. “You’re a sweet girl, Darva. I’ll never be really lonely withfriends like you and your mother around.”

    Beaming, Darva finished her lunch and happily explainedsome of the romantic ballads she was learning about. She thought them all verysilly, but Elisif looked as goopy as some of the older bards at the lyrics.When she was sure her throat was clear of food, Darva sang a few verses forher, but then it was time for Court to start again, and that was boring, so thegirl skipped up to the large balcony-roof at the back of the Palace, where Odahviingsunned sometimes whenever Elisif was expecting a suitor to drop by. If theywere too bad, she’d suggest a walk out here, and the suitor would usually runaway in fright.

    “Odahviing!” she sing-songed, skipping over and cuddlingup right behind his head, where the scales were small and soft and warm.

    “Drem yol lok,Kulaas,” he breathed, careful not to turn his head until she was clear ofhis spines. “Is he gone?”

    “He’s gone,” Darva confirmed cheerfully. “I sneezed iceat his shoe and he left.”

    Odahviing snorted a laugh, steam coming out of hisnostrils. Darva noticed a lot of dragons did that when they felt an emotionstrongly, though some of them laughed or growled ice instead of fire. One olderone hissed out lightning when he saw Bormah, who had crossed his arms andglared at him until Momma had told them both to knock it off.

    “Are you still taking Runa to Whiterun today?” she askedcuriously. She wanted to go to Whiterun, too, but Runa was training with the Companionsand didn’t have time to babysit her, she said. Darva thought she just didn’twant anyone seeing how much time she was spending with Frothar and telling thePapas—or worse, Blaise.

    “Her favorite sparring partner is leaving for the Legionsoon,” Odahviing explained patiently, nudging her with his nose. “He is going farSouth, for many summers.”

    “At least he’s not mean anymore,” Darva wrinkled hernose. The Brats of Whiterun had undergone a miraculous shift in behavior the yearbefore after being kidnapped by a Hagraven that stole naughty children. Manywere still waiting for her to come back for Nelkir.

    “Naak rok. I’deat him,” Odahviing said shortly, and she gaped at him.

    “You can’t eat Frothar!” she burst out. “He’s a people!”

    The dragon lifted and dipped his wings in the draconic equivalentof a careless shrug. Darva huffed at him, and he hissed laughter. “Runa is the kiir of my thur,” he explained remorselessly. “I cannot let one unfit to beher ronit go unchallenged.”

    Fluffing her curls so the wind could steal some of theheat building in them, she gazed up at him curiously. “Everyone is talkingabout love and courting lately,” she complained.

    “It is almost Heart’s Day,” he reminded her.

    Darva brightened, “My birthday!” she enthused. “Odahviing,does that mean when I get annoying people bothering me like Auntie Eli, I haveto worry about you eating them?”

    He snorted again. “I’ve eaten people for less.”

    Stamping her foot, she cried, “Odahviing!” and huffed when his laughter rumbled across the roof. “You’rebeing mean.”

    “It is the truth, Kulaas,” he told her, shifting hiswings to catch the sun better. “One day you will find a ronit, and they will be strong and loyal, your friend and yourconfidant. They will never betray your trust and seek always to protect you.Only then will those who care about you support the mating.”

    Thinking about this, she plopped onto the bench, watchinghim. “You promised to protect me,” she pointed out musingly.

     Odahviing’s eyes popped back open from where he’d beendrowsing, narrowing at her suspiciously. “Geh,”he agreed, dragging out the word as if wondering where she was going with this.

     “You’re my friend, and I talk to you about everything,”she continued, finger tapping her chin like Lydia did when she was thinkingthings through. “You won’t betray me.”

     “Darva…” Odahviing lifted his head, tilting it in a wayshe’d never seen him do before and thus didn’t know how to interpret. Hereminded her of a wary goose.

     “You’ll be my mate,” she decided.

     The dragon coughed fire, something else she’d never seenbefore and took great interest to note.

     “Well, it’s perfect!” she enthused, warming to hersubject. “You’d never show up with half-dead flowers and slobber all over me.You’re strong and already my friend and protector. Momma likes you and Bormahputs up with you, and every other person coming to court me will run awayrather than fight you!”

      “That part at least has merit,” he conceded, shaking hishead as little bits of ash crumbled out his nostrils, “but Darva, Zu’u dovah.”

     “I’m Dovahkiin,”she argued, crossing her arms belligerently.

     He sighed, “I cannot…give you everything you’d want frommate.”

     “I don’t mind that we can’t get married,” Darva shrugged,hopping off the bench. “You’d look silly trying to fit into a Temple anyway.”

     “Where are you going?” he wondered, watching her skipoff.

     “Oh! Right,” she pivoted on one foot and flounced back tohim, giving him a smacking kiss on the muzzle before heading right back to thedoorway into the Blue Palace. “Talk to you later, dear. I have to tell Mommayou’re my husband now.”

     The red dragon stared at the door in utter bemusement fora long moment, wondering what exactly just happened. At least, until the buildingshook and the sky rumbled with the angry thu’umof his name being hurtled into the air by his Thur, raining gravel from the entire stone arch and stealing thewarmth from the sun.

     Proud dragon generals did not hide from their Thur, Odahviing reminded himself, launchinginto the air reluctantly. Still, it might be a good time to see if the ice had recededfrom Atmora yet.

Drem yol lok=greetingskulass=princessNaak rok=consume himkiir=childthur/thuri=overlord/my overlordronit=equal, mategeh=yesZu'u dovah=I’m a dragon

[everyandanythingimagines]

New Year’s Day | N.C

Warnings: use of alcohol? (idk if that is a warning), I guess angst

Word Count: 3341

Summary: Based on ‘New Year’s Day’ by T-swizzle :)

A/N: sooo yeah long break but I’ve been writing again... btw not my song, it’s by Taylor Swift. BASICALLY this one is I guess special to me bc it’s somewhat true. ngl I don’t know if I got the interpretation of this song right, but this is how I saw it. Some parts were altered a bit to fit the song better but right when I heard it I just HAD to make it an imagine. also plz request lol thanks for reading hope u enjoy

*not my gif and it somewhat fits idk not really nvm*

 SIDE NOTE: There are a lot of time jumps so here is a guide if you are lost... Italics are from New Years Eve, normal is the day after and on, and bold is lyrics. enjoy

There's glitter on the floor after the party

Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby

You woke up on new years day with the biggest smile on your face. Reminiscence of the night before still plays in your mind. You threw a party in your apartment with just a few of your closest friends. Somehow word got out that the oh so popular ‘Peter Kavinsky’ was going to be partying at your place and a whole bunch of girls, that you were 100% sure that they did not like you before this party, showed up. Probably trying to get lucky with him or any of his close friends. The both of you had mutual friends, and over time all of you had become one tight friend group.

Since yesterday was New Years Eve, everyone had been drinking and dancing. It was only 10 pm when everyone had started to party. You remember bits and pieces of that night, but the most important memories weren’t forgotten.

There was noise coming from the room next to you, some people had spent the night at yours due to their lack of ability to walk/drive home. You got up to check who it was and it was only just a few girls carrying their stuff in their hands trying to sneak out. They smile at you and thank you for inviting them, which was funny because some of them weren't.

Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor

You and me from the night before, but

   Your friend, Morgan, came up to you as she was leaving, “Happy New Year girl! I thought you would want this!” She says. You look down at her hand and it’s a photo of you and Noah from yesterday. He looked amazing in his jeans and black button-up shirt, his hair was gelled yet slightly messy.

“Thanks!” unable to contain a smile on your face just thinking about the both of you from last night, “Do you wanna stay for a bite? I can make something?” You asked her.

“Yeah sure, I’ll stay and recover a bit more because last night was WOW,” she laughs, “so, you and Noah huh?” you turn to her and she’s wiggling her eyebrows. What happened was amazing, but you didn’t know what was going to happen next. All you thought about was last night and everything but the future between you two.

You had this crush on Noah for a while now, there was non stop texting between the both of you. People kept telling you that maybe the feelings were mutual, but it felt too good to be true. Noah was this amazing actor and you were this ordinary girl who he met through mutual friends. How would a relationship even work if this were to happen?

Don't read the last page

But I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong

Or we're making mistakes

Throughout the whole party, you and Noah were inseparable. Everything you did, he did and everything he did, you did. From playing harmless drinking games to sitting on the sofa cuddling and chatting nonstop. There were definitely glares thrown at the pair, but at your drunken state, you thought it was nothing. When you had become separated from Noah, you saw a few of your friends Victoria, Christina, and Gabby, talking in a corner.

You went up to them to see how they are doing, “Hey guys! What are you up to?” they immediately put on fake smiles. The last bit of ‘sober Y/N’ had thought this was weird, but the ‘drunk Y/N’ didn't think anything of it.

“Oh, just resting from this non-stop dancing! Nice party by the way!” They answer. At some point during this awkward exchange, you saw Vic’s eyes flash to Noah quickly. That’s when it all clicked, Noah had asked Victoria out months ago but she had rejected him because she “wasn’t ready” so why does she care now?

You brush off that thought and continue making your rounds to check if it’s getting too chaotic. As you do this your mind floats back to Victoria and Noah, “Maybe this isn’t okay” you think to yourself, “I didn’t think Vic and Noah were a big deal, maybe they are and this is a mistake” Your eyes find Noah’s, "or maybe not.".

I want your midnights

It was only 10 minutes till midnight, you had gathered everyone to the main area with the projector setup displaying the famous ball drop in New York. Noah had found you dancing with the rest of the group. Everyone partied like nothing else mattered. Dancing, drinking, and capturing moments people probably won’t remember tomorrow, if it wasn’t for cameras.

Time had flown by and the countdown from 30 seconds had started. Your heart was racing, you didn’t know what was going to happen. Sure you and Noah had been talking nonstop but does he really like you? It all comes down to this moment.

10

Noah’s hand found yours

9

You look around at your surroundings

8

But all you see is this beautiful brunette

7

The both of you is still counting together

6

Everyone else starts to fade…

5

Then the music….

4

He pulls you closer

3

You smile at him

2

Both of you start leaning in

1…

You kiss.

“Smile you two!” Morgan says. Noah ends the kiss first, smiling towards the Polaroid camera and you follow.

But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

You heard a knock on your door as you were in the middle of looking for some food.

“You get it, I’ll look for something to eat for us,” Morgan said, you smile and thank her. As you walk towards the door you pick up a bunch of empty bottles that were scattered all throughout your apartment.

“Hey! Happy New Year!” You greet, struggling to hold the bottles you had picked up. You look up to meet Noah’s eyes. He looked great considering how much he drank the night before and so did you, but then again you never get hangovers. He chuckles at you struggling and immediately helps you with a few bottles. “Thanks, come on in!” as you invite him in, Morgan sees him and gives you a look. You roll your eyes at her and drop the bottles in the recycling bin.

“Hey! How was your night?” Morgan winks and Noah greets her back. Morgan then looks to you, “ I couldn’t find food I want to eat so I’m going to head out to get us food, Noah do you want anything?” Morgan offers. He replies with a no thank you as he continues helping you clean up the bottles.

“Alright sounds good, I’ll just have what you are having,” You reply to her. She grabs her keys, winks at you and heads out the door. Silence filled the air as you both continued on cleaning. You didn’t know what to say and neither did Noah, he looked troubled, not knowing what to say.

As Noah placed the final bottle in the bin, he turned to you, “Look, Y/N, obviously I need to clear something up here…” Noah trailed off. Your heart was beating a thousand miles per hour, this didn’t sound so good. “You are very pretty, smart, and nice, but I don’t feel for you like as a relationship or anything like that type of thing,” Noah added, your heart dropped and you didn’t know how to reply. Noah continued, “ Yesterday was definitely a mixed signal for you and I feel awful about it…” You wanted to say something but you didn’t know what to say. You felt angry, betrayed, and devastated. So many things were running through your head. How could he do this to you?

You wanted to know what was going through his mind this whole time, it doesn’t make any sense, it wasn’t just last night that he had been flirting with you. The flirting had been going on for about a month now, why the sudden change?

“I have been in the same situation only it was the other way around and it sucked. I’m so sorry for everything I just wanted to let you know before things went too far.” the guilty boy finally finished his speech. You didn’t know what to say, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself.

Eventually, you managed to put words together, “Yeah… I feel like that was just because we were both drunk … And don’t worry about it, you’re a good guy” you finally raise your eyes at him. “ I’m not gonna lie when we first met I was kinda into you, but I like us better as friends. I don’t want things to be weird with us after last night…” you lie, you’re trying hard to keep as much dignity you have left and brush off his confession as if it didn’t affect you. But it had, and you were crushed.

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you

Your close friends had arrived early to have a fancy dinner before the party had started. Sadly, Noah had a last minute shoot for his upcoming movie. By the time everyone had finished dinner, Noah had finished, he just texted you that he was on his way over. Your friends helped you clean up before people came to avoid anything breaking.  Suddenly, the doorbell rang, you ran to the door and opened it. It was Noah, he still had a bit of makeup on from the shoot that you could tell he had tried to rub off.

“I like your makeup!” You laugh at his attempt to take off his makeup.

Noah sheepishly rubs his face. “I can handle this stuff for shoots and stuff, but daily? Dang woman! How do you do this?” He complains to you. You offer him some makeup remover wipes and he gladly accepts. You take him upstairs to your washroom and give him the wipes.

“Do you need help taking it off? Or can you handle that yourself?” You tease him.

“Well I mean if you need an excuse to come closer then okay…” he says in a seductive voice.

“Come on! You could've done better than that!” You laugh at Noah's attempt to flirt with you. You grab the wipes from his hand as he sits on the counter, your body is in between his legs as he rests his hands on your waist. The sound of your heart pounding was loud, you were sure the Noah could hear it over the both of you talking about each others day.

As you finish taking off his makeup, the both of you stare into each other's eyes, your faces slowly inch closer together. “Hey, you two! Come down here before everyone arrives!” you could hear one of your friends shout from outside the washroom. The both of you jump separating yourselves a bit, but still not letting go of each other.

“Maybe we should join them…” Noah trails off as his eyes flicker from yours to your lips.

There’s glitter on the floor after the party

“Thanks for understanding” Noah smiles at you. You look into his eyes and you were confused. You could see guilt and sadness in his eyes, but what made you confused was when you could see a hint of regret. Not like he regretted what you two had experienced, but as if he didn't want to be rejecting you and he regrets doing this, there had to be more than he isn't telling you. He told you that he wanted to end this and that he didn’t want you, so why are his eyes saying something else? The pair stays silent for a while as you process things and cleaning the tabletops to keep you both occupied. “I should get going now…” Noah says as he finishes wiping down the surface of your tables. “I have to video chat my parents later…” he awkwardly shuffles to the door. Noah had always been open with you from the beginning. The second time you guys hung out he told you how hard it was being in a different country as his parents, especially when he had to move away so young. Although he finds it embarrassing that he calls his mom every day, you found it sweet.

“Yeah, no problem. Thanks for stopping by,” you say as you go to open the door. You both exchange goodbyes before you shut the door. Suddenly your vision became blurry from the tears building up in your eyes, you leaned your back against the wall and slid down on the floor. You don’t know how long you were there for, but you were playing every single moment you two had together. How could this happen? It seemed like the feelings you had for each other were mutual, but you were mistaken.

When you recovered from your mini shut down, you look around the room. There was glitter everywhere on the floor and stuck to your body. You felt empty, even though you told Noah you still wanted to be friends, how were you supposed to go back to normal. You didn’t even know what ‘normal’ was for you guys, the majority of the time knowing him it was always flirting. One thing you knew was that you had to clean up and put everything in the past.    

The door opened and in came Morgan, “Y/N? Are you okay? What happened?” she asked all worried. When she left you were with Noah all happy, but now you’re not and he’s not here.

Please don't ever become a stranger

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

~time skip~

   It has been a few months since New Years and you finally recovered. It took you a while to get over Noah, your friends practically had to drag you out of bed so you could go out with them. As the days went on it got easier to not think about the stunning brunette and it felt great. You were more mad than anything. Sadly, you never patched up that friendship with him and got back to the way things were, but you were okay with that. Since the both of you were in the same friend group you still had to see him, at first it was awkward but you both got over it. However, you never had a one on one conversation since that day.

   You were currently bowling with a few of your friends having a great time. Everyone was happy now that you were back to normal.

   “Okay! Loser buys a round of shots for us at the club later!” Morgan challenges, everyone laughs and agrees. It was girls night and you all were planning on getting wasted with a possibility of meeting an eligible bachelor.  

   “You guys are going down!” You shout, you walk up to the lane and start prepping. Suddenly you hear a laugh a few lanes down from you, it was pretty crowded and loud but you could never forget one of your favorite laughs. You turn to face where the noise came from, your mind was right, it was Noah.

There were multiple times you saw him after New Years, but this time was different. You saw him with Christina, and it wasn’t just a hangout, his arm was around her plus they clearly were flirting. You pointed them out to your friends and some of them were shooting you looks to see that you’re okay, but others were mad that Noah just practically hit up all the girls in your friend group.

It wasn’t until after Noah told you off that you found out that he had chatted up all your friends, which was disgusting considering that you all were in the same circle of friends. By the time you had found that out about him, you were done with it. You would still deal with being ‘friends’ with him still, he hurt you all and that wasn’t right.

At first, when you found out you didn’t believe it, he was so sweet and caring, how could he do it? But he did. There was still some part of you deep inside that felt for him and seeing him with Christina hurt. She was the last person you would expect to do this, none of you saw it coming. What hurt, even more, was that he promised once that he would take you bowling. One day you sent him a snap of your bowling score and he had challenged you, he didn’t say it would be a date, but you thought it could be one. However, he never took you.

And I will hold on to you

It was nearing the end of the night, you and your close friends were all sat on the sofas laughing about old stories of each other. Noah’s arm was around you leaning on each other, everyone was tired and sobered up. Which made sense since you all started partying at 8. The party had calmed down, mostly everyone went home or to another party spot when they figured out their chance with Noah was basically impossible. As everyone broke into their own conversations, Noah turned to you, “I should go… I had a great time, tonight was unexpected but good,” he smiled as he started to get up.

“Me too! Thanks for coming!” You said. He pulled you into a tight hug like you both were savoring it. The rest of the boys stood up as well saying their goodbyes. You lead them to the door and took one last polaroid before they left.

You smiled at them, you could tell that he was happy, he used to have those eyes whenever you were around. It feels like there should have been more to what has happened, but you will never know. There are some things you will never understand and one of them is the whole truth of what happened between you two. It hurts but you had to let him go, maybe he was the right person at the wrong time or maybe not. All you know is that something felt right between you two to just let him go.

You took a deep breath, “goodbye Noah…” you whispered as threw your ball down the lane. You turn around walking back to your spot, Gabby’s face drops.

“Aw man! Okay, drinks on me tonight!” She yells, “but we’re having a rematch next time!” She challenges. You were confused, you thought were in last behind Gabby, but that was until you looked up at the screen and saw you got a strike. You smile and finish your turn.

“Okay, who is ready to party?” You say as everyone starts getting ready to leave. You walk to the counter returning your shoes then head towards the exit. You pause and hesitate before turning around to get one last look at Noah. Your eyes met his brown ones that had already been on you, both of you had this look in your eyes. Everything that happened between the both of you will live in your memories, and there will definitely always be a place in your heart for him no matter how bad he could hurt you. Whether you had still a future together as friends, you don’t know, but you had to let him go.

So there you both were, staring at each other across the room, it was as if time had stopped. You gave him a slight nod and he returned it. This was it, the ending of you two as a couple, the closure you finally needed.

“Y/N C'mon! We are going to miss all the cute guys!” Morgan said snapping you out of your last moment with Noah. You laugh and ran outside to the car. From that point on, Noah was the last thing on your mind for the rest of the night.

[dustedmagazine]

“1, 2, 3, 4!”: Jennifer Kelly’s 2018 review

Jennifer Kelly is a frantic romantic.

Rock and roll forever, sure, but it’s hard to avoid the fact that the guitar/bass/drum idiom has been pushed way off to the side in the cultural conversation. Mainstream sites list “best rock records” as a weird, subcultural genre, with a slightly bigger audience, perhaps, than best cumbia records or top Hawaiian slack key recordings (but not much). Worse, to come up with a reasonable size list they include all kinds of things that don’t belong. I mean, really, is Mount Eerie rock by any definition?

Rock isn’t dead, but it’s been made to sit in the corner. The only time in 2018 when everybody thought at once about a guitar band was when Pitchfork’s Jeremy Larson dropped his scathing, hilarious review of the Greta Van Fleet. For a moment, we all snickered as one.

Big rock was terrible in 2018. It almost always is. Yet there’s something disingenuous about the genre of year-end write-ups that laser in on the absolute worst and most bloated of rock bands to make a point about the art-form as a whole. Sure, Imagine Dragons suck. Yes, “Africa” is a soul-destroyingly awful song no matter who sings it. No, I’m not wading into the whole 1975 thing. Who has time? Who has the heart for it?  

Because this year, against a tide of commercially viable horse shit, against a backdrop of monolithic indifference, rock bands of all configurations, from all countries (but really especially Australia), continued to make great punk and rock records. And, I, for whatever reason, heard more of them than usual, and it made me happy. And maybe that’s the secret to being happy in music, in any year…find your niche, listen to the best in it, forget about what the mega-corporations are trying to sell.

Also see it live. My big highlight this year was seeing the Scientists in October (with Negative Approach, too!), but it was a pretty great 12 months for live music. It started with a fantastic show comprised of Mike Donovan, the Long Hots, J. Mascis and his Stooges cover band and Purling Hiss (with J on board for one song) at the Root Cellar, a venue I’d never heard of before that show, and that ended up putting on a string of great events. I saw Marisa Anderson, Paul Metzger, Speedy Ortiz, Howling Rain, Trad Gras Och Stenar with Endless Boogie, that Scientists show and Gary Higgins at the Root Cellar this year, and I missed a lot of shows I would have liked to see. Other great shows happened outside the Root Cellar – The Thing in the Spring in Peterborough with William Parker, Bonnie Prince Billy and others, Amy Rigby and Wreckless Eric at the Parlour Room, Messthetics at the Flywheel. Western Massachusetts has been in a commercial chokehold for years, with one organization controlling most of the venues, but there were a lot of options this year.

So, here’s to the drummers with their sticks in the air, counting off the four. Here’s to the guitar player wrecking his knees jumping up and down as he/she furiously slashes away. Here’s to the sweat and muck and black humor of $10 shows with four bands on them, two of them still in high school. And here’s to the people (me at least and possibly you) who like these things. Eddie Argos of Art Brut, who used to top these lists and now merits a footnote, spoke for this tiny, beleaguered sub-cult when he urged “Wham! Bang! Pow! Let’s rock out.”

Indeed. Let’s.

Amy Rigby—The Old Guys (Southern Domestic)

The Old Guys by Amy Rigby

Let’s just set aside the fact that the first and best song on this album is an imagined email exchange between Philip Roth and Bob Dylan on the eve of the Nobel ceremony or that Rigby namechecks three of my favorite ever TV characters in “New Sheriff.” Let’s forget, too, how rare it is for a woman of roughly my age to be making her own music and controlling her own destiny even now in 2018. No, let’s focus on the songs which are sharp, smart and full of hooks, the clean, romantic chime of Rigby’s electric 12-string, the viscous pleasure of the arrangements. This is the very best kind of rock record, one that doesn’t attempt to remake the genre but somehow makes it bigger, brighter and more necessary. The songs sounded great, live, too, with the great Wreckless Eric in tow, and the two of them bickering like old married couples do, and Rigby glowing with triumph by the end of the show.

 Shopping—The Official Body (Fat Cat)

The Official Body by Shopping

Bubbly in a hard way, strict and minimal in a manner requires body movement, this album arrived early and stayed on my go-to list all year. For Dusted, I wrote, “You could bounce a quarter off the bass lines in this third Shopping full-length. They’re pulled hard and tight against minimalist syncopated drums, the leaning, waiting, anticipating space between the thwacks as important a character as the beats themselves. The London-based trio harks back to the funky, stripped down post-punk of bands like ESG and Delta 5, with hints of the boy-girl bubble and pop of the B-52s and Pylon.

 Salad Boys—This Is Glue (Trouble in Mind)

This Is Glue by Salad Boys

Always weak for NZ lo-fi and equally a fan of the early R.E.M., so of course I fell for this buzzy daydream of a record. “Psych Slasher” bursts with immoderate, glorious joy in the chorus, then cuts back to uncertainty in the verse, the ideal blend of rambunctious rock and wistful pop. “Exaltation” is a gentler sort of classic, just as radiant but moodier, its murmur-y vocals disappearing into cloud banks of fuzzed guitar tone. The whole record sits on the knife edge of rock and indie pop, leaning one way and the other, but never falling over.

 Patois Counselors—Proper Release (Ever/Never)

Proper Release by Patois Counselors

I went all in for “So Many Digits” in my Dusted review this year, but the two great punk songs on Proper Release are “The Modern Station” and, especially, “Target Not a Comrade.” This latter song chugs and lurches on guitar and bass, trembles with wheedly keyboards and crests in a massive, hummable refrain. It’s a catchy, twitchy punk tune that’ll hit you in the part of your brain where you keep Wire and the Buzzcocks, hooky as hell in a weird, distorted way.

 Bodega—Endless Scroll (What’s Your Rupture)

Endless Scroll by BODEGA

Flipping the gender cliché, Bodega is an all-woman band with a male singer. Its tight, nervy, jangles wrap around themes of internet-age dislocation and movie references. Smart, sarcastic, ironic, sharp, Bodega bristles with what you want from a garage punk band but reveals a surprisingly soft heart uncovered round about “Charlie,” a wistful song about a boy who died too soon.

 Bardo Pond—Volume 8 (Three-Lobed)

Volume 8 by Bardo Pond

The eighth in a series of improvised albums, this year’s Bardo Pond record towers and surges with monumental heaviness. I wrote at Dusted that, “The sound, vast and muscularly monolithic as ever, seems more like a demon summoned periodically from a ring of fire, than the product of any sort of linear development.”

 Meg Baird and Mary Lattimore—Ghost Forests (Three Lobed)

Ghost Forests by Meg Baird and Mary Lattimore

This year’s most beautiful album, Ghost Forests undergirds lyric folk melodies and angelic pizzicato harp plucks with roiling, violent darkness. My Dusted review observed “The best and most interesting [tracks] juxtapose the muted violence of electric guitar with a harp’s serenity. A guitar howls from a distance throughout “In Cedars,” pushing a simmering turbulence up under sun-dappled lattices of harp picking. Later “Painter of Tygers” does the same trick of joining muscle to fairy dust, the electric guitar raging from far away, while harp and voice spread delicate magic over the tumult.”

 Seun Kuti & Egypt 80—Black Times (Strut)

Black Times by Seun Kuti & Egypt 80

Fela Kuti’s youngest son inherited his dad’s fierce political commitment, his rhythmically unstoppable Afrobeat style and a few of his band members, but this wonderful album is more alive and present than a tribute. “Struggle Sounds, “ with its hard-bounce of a beat, its blurting sax, its ecstatic backing chorus, its swagger of horns and fever-dreamed keyboards dances through history right up to the modern day. “Last Revolutionary” enumerates past African heroes and connects them to the now. I wrote, “Kuti extends his father’s legacy, its tight rhythmic interplay, its fervent political engagement, its relentless exhilarating uplift, while bringing it a bit further into the present.”

Ovlov—Tru (Exploding in Sound)

TRU by Ovlov

I first noticed Ovlov at the Thing in the Spring Festival, on an eclectic Thursday night in a book store, where the sweet surge of guitar sound felt solid enough to body surf on. Later, for Dusted, I said of Tru that “Ovlov churns a monumental fuzz, a wave of surging, undulating, feedback-altered sound …. You can almost poke it with your finger, this onslaught is so palpable. It stirs your hair like an oncoming breeze.”

Speedy Ortiz—Twerp Verse (Carpark) 

Twerp Verse by Speedy Ortiz

There’s something so bendy and unpredictable about Sadie Dupuis tunes. They hare off in unexpected ways. They stop and start. They interpose weird little intervals of pop and noise. They refuse to behave, and end up exactly as they should be, though never what you’d expect. Twerp Verse takes more pop turns than other Speedy joints, but in the tipsiest, most eccentric way, with acerbic asides in the lyrics that catch like fishhooks and stay with you. “Speedy Ortiz offers a serrated sort of pop pleasure, full of rhythmic complexity and gender confrontation,” I observed in my Dusted review.

 Had enough rock? Me neither

Here are some more punk rock and garage records that I couldn’t squeeze into the top ten overall, mostly in the order that I thought of them, but Constant Mongrel and Richard Papiercuts are pretty great and that’s probably why I thought of them first.

Constant Mongrel—Living in Excellence (La Vida Es Un Mus)

Richard Papiercuts— Twisting the Night (Ever/Never)

GOGGs—Prestrike Sweep (In the Red)

Hank Wood & the Hammerheads—S-T (Toxic State)

Obnox—Bang Messiah (Smog Veil)

Zerodent—Landscapes of Merriment (Alien Snatch!)

Sleaford Mods—Stick in a Five and Go (Domino)

Ethers—S-T (Trouble in Mind)

IDLES—Joy as an Act of Resistance (Partisan)

Bad Sports—Constant Stimulation (Dirtnap)

Lithics—Mating Surfaces (Kill Rock Stars)

Art Brut—Wham! Bang! Pow! (Alcopop)

 Whoa, slow down!

Also a shout to the musicians who made more than one really excellent album this year. Ty Segall made five, I think, but I didn’t love all of them as much as Freedom Goblin and Prestrike Sweep.

Obnox—Sonido del Templo/Bang Messiah (Astral Spirits)/(Smog Veil)

Mount Eerie—Now Only/(After) (Elverum & Sons)

Ty Segall—Freedom Goblin (Drag City)/GOGGs—Prestrike Sweep (In the Red)

Ryley Walker—Deafman Glance/The Lillywhite Sessions (Dead Oceans)

  Nevertheless, they persisted

And finally, hats off to the bands and artists that have been going forever and continued this year to produce great music.

Kinski—Accustomed to Your Face (Kill Rock Stars)

Low—Double Negative (Sub Pop)

Loma—S-T (Sub Pop) (Shearwater’s Jonathan Meiburg plus Cross Record)

Oneida—Romance (Joyful Noise)

Wreckless Eric—Construction Time and Demolition (Southern Domestic)

Messthetics—S-T (Discord) (The great Fugazi rhythm section plus a young guitar ripper—one of the best live shows of the year for me.)

Charnel Ground—S-T (12XU) (This is Kid Millions from Oneida, Chris Brokaw and James McNew from Yo La Tengo, and as you’d expect, it’s really good.)