#she's a better person than me lemme tell u that

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 167

warnings: a little long and nsfw hmh masterlist

Today has been frustrating to say the least. John has been talking a lot more about Helen lately, and usually it doesn’t bother you but lately it has been. Her birthday is coming up soon, so you’re sure it’s just that which is causing him to talk about her so much. You don’t mind hearing stories about her since, at the end of the day, John is married to you and the two of you have a child together, but there’s only so many Helen stories you can hear before you start to feel a little jealous in a way.

John had told you about three different stories in the past two days, and you tried to gently tell him that you’re a little sick of the stories, but Ronan threw up everywhere and ruined the moment. Babies, right? You ended up getting so frustrated with John’s stories that you’ve been pretty much ignoring him all day. If you do talk to him, you’re usually pretty short with him, and he’s obviously picked up on it that something is wrong with you since he’s keeping his distance.

Or maybe he just doesn’t care.

Ronan is at your parents’ house for the night, so you’re hoping that you can get a little dressed up and try to take John’s mind off of Helen and put his focus back onto you. You dropped Ronan off, then you went to the mall and grabbed a few new pieces of lingerie in hopes that John will finally give you a little more attention.

Again you’re aware that John is married to you and that Helen isn’t…coming back to steal him, but it sucks that his mind has been so preoccupied with Helen lately. Your marriage is starting to suffer a little bit, and now you’re even getting into little spats over nothing. You literally yelled at him over something that usually wouldn’t annoy you at all.

Inhaling deeply, you get out of the car and head inside to hear John talking on the phone. You left your bag in the car since you knew John would be around the house, so you just walk into the kitchen and see him at the kitchen table.

John looks over his shoulder at you and waves, then he turns back around, “Yeah, man, sounds good. Alright, bye.”

You set your purse on the table and look at John as he gets up, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, Aurelio asked if I wanted to go play some pool tonight, so I said yes.” he says as he opens the fridge to get something to eat.

“Oh,” you slouch a little, “Okay.”

John looks at you and raises his eyebrows, “Is that okay, or…”

“You don’t need my permission.” you say as you look at him, then you shrug, “Have fun then.”

“Well, what are you going to do tonight?”

You inhale as you shrug, “Uh, I don’t know. There’s a lot that I can do. I need to go through Ro’s closet and pack away her clothes that don’t fit. I need to do some laundry. I mean, I’d hang out with Tess, but they’re up at the lake house with Jimmy’s family for the week.”

John nods, “Yeah, I thought about that.”

“I’ll find something. There’s plenty I can do around the house. I do have a new book that I’ve wanted to read, so…” you say, putting a fake smile on your face.

Nodding his head, John looks down at his bottle of water, “Uh, do you think you’ll manage the dogs tonight? I might not be back in time to take them for a walk. Sadie can be a handful.”

“Yeah, of course. I was thinking about taking them to the Oyster Bay dog park.” you say as you shrug, and John nods his head. “I don’t have anything else planned, so…”

“I better go shower. Aurelio is going to pick me up. He’s got a new car he wants to show me.” John says, and you nod as you look up him.

John leans down and kisses your cheek before he leaves, and you slouch a little since you’re going to be spending the night alone. There are several things that you need to get done around the house, but they won’t take more than an hour. Maybe you can surprise John when he gets home though.

“Well, I might as well get started on laundry.” you say to yourself, then you head upstairs to your bedroom as John shuffles though his drawers. You take the laundry basket and set it aside before you head into the bathroom to grab any dirty towels and clothes, then you come back out to find John looking at you.

“So, are you just going to continue to pretend you’re not mad at me?” John asks, and you look at him. He gestures to you and shakes his head, “I know you’re mad at me.”

You wave it off, “It’s nothing.”

“It’s something. You’ve been giving me the cold shoulder all day.” he says, and you shrug as you walk over to the laundry basket. “Tell me now before I leave.”

You furrow your brow as you look at him, “You--”

“Not leave,” he says, shaking his head, “But I mean before I leave in a bit.”

“Nah, it’s all good.” you say, and John huffs as you look at him, “God, fine. I just thought we’d hang out tonight. Since you know, it’s been a few nights since we’ve been alone, but I get it. You have friends too.”

John shrugs, “I haven’t hung out with Aurelio in a while. Thought it’d be fun.”

“Hey,” you reach out for his hand and smile, “It’s all good.”

Obviously it hurts your feelings that John doesn’t realize that you’re hurt that he’s been talking about Helen so much and not really spending time with you, but you’ll let it go for now. You’d hate to upset him before he goes out for some fun. You had an ex who did that to you all the time and it’s not fair--you refuse to do the same to John.

Squeezing his arm a little, you smile at him, then you grab the laundry basket and head down to do the laundry, but John calls out for you.

“I know you’re mad at me.” he says, and you shrug. “Can we talk about it later?”

“Of course.” you nod, then you head downstairs.

__

Bleu and Sadie had so much fun at the dog park and they tired themselves out, so you dropped them off at home before you decided to take a long drive. You got yourself a greasy cheeseburger, some fries and a chocolate shake, then you drove around aimlessly for about two hours just listening to music. You have to admit that it was nice to have an evening to just yourself. You needed it more than you even realized, and you’re feeling a little bit better than you did earlier. That is until you look down at your phone to see that you don’t have any texts from John.

John’s been gone for about five hours now, and usually he’ll just text you a simple little message, even just a heart emoji to let you know that he’s thinking about you. Today you’ve gotten nothing. Either he’s ignoring you now or he’s having a lot of fun.

You pull into the driveway and open the garage to put your car in, then you sigh as you get out of the car. You’re greeted by Bleu and Sadie as you walk inside, and you lean down to pet them before you let them into the backyard for a bit.

Whenever your mom has Ronan, you always call her before she goes down for the night, so you sit down on the couch and pull your phone out, pressing it to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” you sigh softly, “How is Ro?”

Your mom laughs, “She’s good, like she always is. She’s laying in Dan’s arms right now getting her bottle before she goes down. She’s been an angel today! We went for a nice walk this afternoon and played with some bubbles, then she had some steamed chicken for lunch.”

“Oh, she’s a big fan of chicken.”

“She gets it from her mom,” your mom says, and you smile a little. “Ro, say goodnight to your momma and daddy.”

The smile fades from your face when you realize your mom thinks John is with you. You hear Ronan babbling on the other end of the phone, and you smile to yourself.

“Goodnight, baby!” you say to her even though she probably can’t hear you, then you sigh as you sit back on the couch.

“No goodnight from dad?”

You inhale deeply and sigh, “Uh, no, he’s out with Aurelio tonight. They went to play pool or something.”

“I bet that’s been nice to just have a day to yourself.”

“Yeah, it’s been alright.” you shrug, then you get up and head to your bedroom. “I’m probably gonna crash early since Ro is with you and John is out.”

Your mom laughs, “Nothing wrong with that, honey. Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Give Ro a kiss for me and her dad. Love you.” you say, then you sit down on the bed and look down at your phone as you hang up with your mom. You look over at the drawer where you have the lingerie tucked in, then you get up and grab it before you head to the bathroom.

__

Fixing the lace on the garter belt, you look at yourself in the mirror and smile, then you poke your head out to the bedroom when you hear the front door open. You quickly fluff your hair up and fix your makeup a little, then you peek around the corner as John walks in and sits down on the bed.

“Hey,” you say, and he barely glances over his shoulder, “How was your night?”

“Pretty good. We played a couple rounds of pool, a few of darts, and I unfortunately had too many drinks since I feel a little tipsy.” he says, keeping his back to you as he pulls his shirt off and kicks his shoes off. “It was a good thing I didn’t drive.”

You lean against the wall seductively since you’re expecting John to turn around and see you, but he just lays back to pull his pants off. He groans as he sits back up and tosses his pants carelessly onto the floor, and you slouch a little.

Walking over to the bed, you crawl onto it and kiss John’s back up to his neck in hopes that it’ll get him in the mood. He looks over his shoulder at you and smiles softly as you move to kiss his neck, then he leans back a little to look at what you’re wearing. You move closer to him as you kiss his face and move your hand to his crotch, but he pulls your hand off of him.

“We need to talk.”

“We don’t need to talk it out right now,” you whisper as you move closer to him, “We can just…work our way through it first.”

John gently takes your hands and pulls them off his chest, “Not tonight, baby.”

You hold his gaze for a moment as you grow sad and embarrassed, tears filling your eyes, then you pull on your robe that you left on the bed. You kick off your heels and pull your robe shut as your chin wobbles, and you grab your pajamas from your drawer before you grab your pillow and phone.

“I’m sleeping downstairs.”

John sighs, “You don’t have to sleep downstairs. It’s fine, peach.”

“No,” you look down to avoid his gaze since you’re so damn embarrassed, “I want to sleep alone tonight.”

Holding tight to your pillow, you head down to the guest bedroom, then you close the door and lock it since you know John will probably try to come talk it out at some point, and you’re so embarrassed that you don’t even want to see him right now.

You pull off the lingerie like it’s infected and leave it on the en suite bathroom floor, then you pull on your pajama shorts and shirt before you crawl into the bed and pull the blankets over your head as you cry.

__

It’s Thursday, which means John works the morning until about noon, then the two of you would usually go and get Ronan. You’re planning on getting her and dropping her off with John for the rest of the day. You’ve successfully avoided John before he left for work--not that it was really that hard. You just don’t want to even see him right now, and apparently he’s fine with it since he hasn’t tried to talk to you.

Looking into your mirror, you see that your eyes are a little swollen and bloodshot from crying so much last night, but you put on a brave face and head in to get Ronan. You open the door and smile when you hear Ronan squealing and babbling, and you wave at her as you walk into the living room.

“Hi, bug!” you smile, leaning down to get her, and as soon as she’s in your arms, you begin to cry softly. You sniffle as you lean back to look at her, and you smile when she tugs your hair, “I missed you!”

“She’s been so good,” your mom says, then she looks over to the door in confusion, “Jonathan isn’t with you?”

You hold her gaze as you shake your head and start to cry, and she immediately reaches out and pulls you to the couch. She holds you in her arms as you cry, calming you down and telling you that everything is okay, and you cling to Ronan a little tighter.

“I don’t know what’s going on. I know this is just normal marriage stuff, but I never thought John and I would be affected by it.” you whisper as you sit up, “We just haven’t been ourselves lately.”

Your mom nods, “Maybe you two need some time alone to talk things through.”

“I really need Tess right now,” you say, and your mom nods. “It’s just…a little awkward talking about sex with you, mom.”

Your mom laughs softly, “Okay, I’m sure.”

“Is it okay if I just leave Ronan with you for the rest of the day? I can get her tonight before dinner.”

“Of course!” your mom smiles as she rubs your back, “If John shows up…”

You nod, “He can take her. I’m sure he’ll be confused to not see her when he gets home or whatever. I don’t really know what he’s thinking lately.”

“That’s new.”

“It is!” you laugh as you set Ronan back down on the floor so she can play with her toys, “In all honesty, I just don’t really want to see him right now. Not while my emotions are so intense. I just…”

Your mom wraps her arm around you and rubs your back as you cry, “It’s okay.”

You sigh as you look over at her, “He’s been talking about Helen a lot more lately. It just hurts my feelings. Usually I don’t care, but him talking about her all the time and then not really giving the usual amount of affection is just weird. I just feel like there’s a disconnect and I’m not sure if it was intentional.”

“I can promise that it’s no intentional, honey.” she smiles as you look at her, and you inhale deeply when you realize John has talked to her. “I promise you. Just go home and talk to him.”

Nodding your head, you look down at your wedding ring as you sniffle, then you inhale deeply and exhale as you get up to hug and kiss Ronan, “I love you, bug. I’ll be back to get you later.”

You wave at your mom as you walk over to grab your purse, and she gives you two thumbs up as you laugh.

__

Sitting at the table as you flip through a magazine, you hear the door open and the dogs both get up to greet John. You clear your throat a little as you sit at the table and wait for John to find you, but there’s a part of you that feels like maybe he doesn’t care that you’re even home.

“Hey,” John walks in the kitchen and furrows his brow a little, “Where’s the bug?”

“Uh, at my mom’s still. I’m gonna get her later.”

John looks at you for a moment, then he nods his head and looks down, “Uh, I have a book I need to get done by tomorrow, so I just really need to focus on that. It’s just that there’s a deadline and I haven’t been focused so much on it lately, so…”

“Okay.” you bite your cheek as you look at him, then you slouch when he leaves the room.

You’ll just have to talk to him later.

__

Since John was still downstairs working on his book, you decided to just sleep in the guest bedroom again. You haven’t talked to him at all, and you even called to ask if Ronan could stay the night again. Your mom took it as a good sign, though it really wasn’t.

You sit up in bed as your stomach growls and look over to see it’s nearly 2 in the morning. You stretch a little, then you get up and quietly open the door to find John laying back against the wall as he sleeps. You smile to yourself as you look at him, then you kneel down and gently brush your thumb over his cheek.

“John,” you whisper to him, then you smile when he opens his eyes, “Go up to bed. Go to bed. You can’t be comfortable here.”

“You locked the door.” he says softly as you nod, then he sits up a little, “I can’t do this anymore.”

You look down as you tear up, “I know. Me neither.”

John reaches over to touch your cheek, “That doesn’t mean what I think it means, does it?”

“Well, what did you mean?”

“I miss my wife.” he whispers, then he rubs his thumb over your cheek and down to your bottom lip, “I miss my best friend.”

Tears roll down your cheeks as you sit down on the floor, then you look at him and nod, “I miss mine too.”

“I promise that we can talk through everything in the morning, but for now, can I just hold my wife?” John asks, and you nod your head. He gets up and reaches for your hands, then he helps you stand up.

Holding hands with John, you head up to your bedroom with him and smile to yourself, feeling your hand in his for the first time in what seems like weeks. You crawl into bed and lay down on your side only to realize you left your pillow down in the guest bedroom. John lays down on the bed and moves his pillow over to share with you, then he smiles when you get under the blankets with him.

John gently rubs his thumb over your cheek as you look at him, “I love you.”

“Do you?” you ask as you tear up again.

“I do.” he nods, then he pulls you closer until you’re inches from his face, “I will never stop loving you. It’s a promise.”

You nod your head as you look at him, “We’ll talk in the morning?”

“Of course.” he whispers, then he leans forward to kiss you. He pulls you closer as he lays on his back, then he holds you in his arms, “I love you more than anything.”

“I love you too.”

__

You feel John pressing kisses to your face and neck as you lay in bed, and you slowly open your eyes and smile when you see him next to you. You inhale deeply and roll onto your side, and you’re a little taken aback when he leans over and kisses you. He slips his tongue into your mouth as he crawls on top of you, and you laugh when he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he smiles, then he sits up to look at you, “Missed that laugh.”

“We still need to talk, so don’t start getting all lovey-dovey. I’m not sure you’re going to love me after this conversation.” you say as you tuck his hair away from his face.

John gives you a blank stare, then he shakes his head, “You could tell me that you hate my guts and wished I was dead, and I’d still love you.”

“You know I’d never say that though, and I definitely don’t hate you or wish you were dead.”

“Well, I would hope not.” he says, and you both start to laugh.

Taking a deep breath, you sit up in bed and cross your legs before you look down at your hands and spin your wedding ring. John sits up next to you and wraps his right arm around your waist, then he presses a soft kiss to your shoulder.

“I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“I hurt yours the other night…” John whispers to you, and you look over at him, your cheeks growing warm and red when you remember how embarrassed you were, “You could kill me and I’d think it was justified because I hurt you.”

You bite your cheek as you look at him, then you look down and frown, “I know that Helen’s birthday is coming up, and you know that I usually don’t mind hearing stories about her, but lately it’s just been one story after another. You haven’t been giving me the same amount of affection as usual, and I just thought…maybe you weren’t all in with me anymore. Like the novelty of me wore off or something. Like…like you were just over me and you were ready to move on to the next.”

John moves your hair away from your face and nods when you look at him, giving you more time to get out everything that you need to say.

“Lately it has been painfully obvious who you wish was still here with you.” you whisper as John’s eyes grow sad. “You swapped out kissing me for telling me stories about the time you and Helen went to Fiji. You stopped holding my hand and replaced it when the story about the time you and Helen took a roadtrip. You stopped having sex with me, showing me affection, giving me even just an ounce of your love, and I noticed that I’m not the main focus anymore. I’ve completely been replaced by a ghost from your past. And…unfortunately, between you and me, if I can’t be your main focus anymore, then…”

“Stop!” John shakes his head as he looks away, then he looks back at you with tears in his eyes, “So, you want a divorce?”

“So, you’re admitting that I’m not your main focus anymore? Your dead wife is?” you get off the bed and laugh as you grab out something to wear, “It’s funny how you promised me that I was always going to be your main focus. You always reassured me that it was me who you cared about most. And yeah, if you can’t see what you have in front of you and you’re going to continue to live in the past, then yes, I want a divorce! I’m not going to feel inferior in my relationship again. I did it before and I refuse to do it again. I deserve to be put first. I deserve to be someone’s main focus.”

John gently touches your arm and shakes his head, “She’s not my main focus--you are! You’re my main focus. You and Ronan are everything to me, you know this! I know you know this!”

“Then why can’t you stop talking about Helen?”

“Because I want her to see how happy I am and I’m sad that she’s missing out on it.” he says, and you shake your head as you walk away. “Baby, I promise that you’re the only one I want. I need you. I need you more than I’ve never needed someone before. I can’t function without you!”

You look over at him and shrug, “I don’t believe you anymore.”

“What can I do to make you believe me?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe stop talking about your dead wife all the time.” you say, and John immediately nods his head. You groan as you close your eyes, “I’m hearing the way I’m talking, and I hate it. I hate that I’ve gotten to this point--being jealous over her, but I can’t keep pushing aside my feelings just to protect you. I used to push aside my feelings for other people and I refuse to do that now.”

“And I don’t want you to. I want you to tell me how you’re feeling.” John says as he walks over to you, reaching out for your hands. “I want you to be honest with me. We’ve always been honest with each other about things, we’ve always talked things through. It’s always worked for us. Why change that now? Come here. Please.”

You walk with John back over to the bed, and you sigh loudly as you sit down with him, “I’m scared that we can’t come back from this.”

“Yes, we can.” John whispers, rubbing his thumb over your cheek, “You found guns in the basement and we came back from that. We got into a huge fight about that pregnancy test, and we came back from that. We can come back from this. We can come back from anything.”

Wiping away the tears on your face, you look down as you cry harder, “I’m scared you don’t love me as much anymore, like all the love you had for me in the beginning has dried up and you don’t have any more.”

“Listen to me,” John tilts your chin up and smiles at you, “It’s because I love you so damn much that I’ve been talking about Helen. I know it doesn’t sound like it makes sense, but just hear me out.”

You laugh tearfully, “You better make it make sense, Wick.”

John takes a deep breath and exhales as he holds your hand, “I think there’s still this part of me that feels a little guilty. I’m married to this amazing, beautiful, smart, kind, everything-under-the-sun-that-is-wonderful woman, and we have a beautiful daughter together. We live this amazing life with each other, and every day is an absolute dream. So, I think there’s this part of me that feels guilty because I feel like I’m truly giving my all to you, and I didn’t do that with Helen--she didn’t even know my past. I’m so sorry that I’ve been talking about her so much, and I’m so sorry that I’ve made you feel like you’re not important to me. I promise to you that you are my best friend and the only person I can see myself with. You’re the love of my life, and I’m so fucking sorry that I haven’t made you feel as important as you are. You have given me so much: a great marriage, our sweet bug, an amazing fucking life. I owe everything to you. I am so sorry for how I’ve treated you.”

You reach over to hug John as you cry, then you bury your face in the crook of his neck as he holds you. He pulls you closer until you’re almost in his lap, and he clings to you like his life depends on it.

“And the implication that you’re just some novelty or trophy wife hurts.” he whispers into your hair, “You’re everything, Y/N. Everything to me. I don’t want you to ever think that there’s a time limit on my love for you. It’s never going to go away or wear off. If anything, my love for you gets deeper every day.”

You nod, “I know.”

“I love you so much, baby.” John says, then he leans back and cups your face, “And I’m sorry for embarrassing you the other night.”

You immediately look down as your cheeks turn red, then you sit back and shrug, “It’s okay.”

“I want you to know that I thought you looked fucking amazing.” he smiles as you look at him, and you shrug again. “I just…didn’t want you to think that I was not in the mood to talk but I wanted to have sex, you know? I didn’t want you to think I was using you or anything.”

“But I was the one initiating the sex…”

John nods, “I know, but I just didn’t want you to think I was just using you to have sex and that I was going to go back to just treating you like shit.”

You shrug as you look over at him, “I just wanted to know if you still found me attractive.”

“Oh, trust me, I do!” John laughs as you start to smile, “And I definitely realized that we haven’t had time alone, and I’m suffering.”

Looking up at John, you hold his gaze as you smile softly, then you look down and exhale, “I still feel a little stupid.”

“I’m sure,” John nods, then he tilts your chin up, “But it’s nothing compared to how I feel. I’ve treated the one person who loves me endlessly like shit. I’m embarrassed and shocked--shocked that you didn’t pack a bag and leave me.”

“I wasn’t going to leave you, John. I just wanted us to get back to the way we were.”

John reaches over for your hand and kisses the back of it, “And we will. I promise that I’ll work harder than ever to prove that to you.”

“I believe you.” you whisper as you hold his gaze, then you gesture to the bathroom, “I better shower. I need to get Ro soon.”

“Can I come with? When you pick up bug?”

You nod as you get up from the bed, “Of course, John.”

John sighs as he looks up at you, then he reaches out for your hand, “I really am so sorry.”

“I know,” you nod, then you squeeze his hand, “I love you.”

“I love you more.” he whispers, then he lets go of your hand as you walk into the bathroom.

__

Ronan was so excited to see her daddy when you picked her up earlier, and she’s been clinging to him all night. You’ve been clinging to him too, well, more like he’s been clinging to you! He’s been giving you an explosion of affection but you’re not complaining about it at all. He’s definitely not doing that toxic love bomb thing though--John is always affectionate.

“Dada!” Ronan squeals loudly as John pushes her stroller, and you lean down to look at her. She reaches out to touch your face as she giggles, and you playfully chew on her fingers.

Holding tight to John’s arm, you walk with him up the driveway and smile when he leans over to kiss your head.

“I need to finish that book tonight, but I think I’ll be able to finish it quickly. Probably within 45 minutes.” John says, and you reach down to get Ronan out of her stroller, “Then I thought we could watch a movie.”

“Sounds good.”

John smiles as he folds up Ronan’s stroller and rests it against the wall when he gets inside, then he turns to you, “I do wanna come with and say goodnight to my favorite bug.”

You hold Ronan in your arms as you walk up to her room with John behind you, then you set her down while you grab out her pajamas and the lotion she needs for her skin so she doesn’t get too dry at night. She has a fan that she’s been sleeping with to keep her cool at night, but sometimes it dries out her skin.

“Why are you getting so big, huh?” John says as he sits down to change Ronan’s diaper, and you turn around and smile as he tickles her tummy. Ronan laughs as John blows raspberries on her tummy, then she puts her hands on John’s face when John lifts her up and kisses her. “Our baby is growing up so fast.”

You frown as you sit down on the floor next to him, “I know. I can’t believe how big she’s getting.”

“Time is flying,” he whispers, watching as Ronan walks over to get a toy, “I feel like I’ve been saying that since the day you got pregnant. Makes me sad how fast it’s going by.”

You nod as you look over at him, “But it really hasn’t been that long. Seems like it, but it hasn’t.”

“True,” John smiles as Ronan walks over to him with a toy, and he smiles wide and playfully grabs her and makes a loud chomping noise on her stomach as she squeals with laughter.

John is the best dad ever, and Ronan is always laughing non-stop when he’s around. He’s always playing with her on the floor and encouraging her, and you’re so happy that she has such a great dad.

“Okay, okay, let’s not get too crazy.” you laugh as you stand up, “We’re trying to get her to sleep, remember?”

John laughs as he gets up from the floor, then he reaches down for Ronan and cradles her in his arms. He bounces her a little and smiles at her as she sucks her thumb, and you walk over to get a better look at her sweet face. Ronan looks over at you and reaches out for your face and she smiles when you playfully nibble on her fingers. You watch Ronan’s eyes growing heavy with sleep, and before you know it, she’s out.

“Babies,” you laugh as John leans down so you can kiss her, “I wish I could fall asleep that fast.”

John chuckles, “Give you a few cocktails and you do fall asleep that fast.”

“Yeah, true.”

“Goodnight, bug.” John whispers as he kisses Ronan’s cheek, then he lays her down while you turn on her nightlight and fan. He reaches for your hand and walks with you out of the bedroom, then he pats Bleu’s side as he trots in to stand guard all night. “Okay, I’m gonna head downstairs to finish up the book real quick, then I promise you have my undivided attention all night.”

You wrap your arms around John’s neck and lean up to kiss him, “Okay.”

“I promise that I am going to make up for the other night.” he whispers against your lips, and you nod your head. “I’ll be back up soon.”

You kiss John once more than you watch as he quickly heads down to the basement. You know that John will most likely take 30 minutes to get everything done, but you honestly want to join him. He doesn’t mind you hanging out with him while he works but he usually gets distracted by you since he always offers to let you help. Tonight you want to distract him in a different way.

Taking a deep breath, you head into your bedroom and open your drawer to get out the lingerie that you tried to wear for John, and you stare down at it.

“You can do this.” you whisper to yourself to get yourself hyped up, then you exhale shakily as you run a marquee of bad thoughts through your head.

What if John doesn’t like it? What if he doesn’t want to have sex with you right now? What if he gets mad at you for distracting him?

“Stop,” you whisper, silencing the thoughts clouding your head, then you stand up and look at yourself in the mirror, “He loves you, he thinks you’re sexy. He’ll love this.”

You head into the bathroom to get changed into the lingerie, and you grab out your make up bag to touch of your makeup that you’re already wearing. You exhale shakily as you stand in the bathroom and continue to get yourself a pep talk in your head, then you begin to undress.

__

Standing in front of the mirror, you turn to the side a little and smile as you check yourself out, then you fix the bra straps a little more. You look really good, and if John doesn’t think so, he’s out of his mind. You grab your robe off the hook and put it on, then you decide to forget the shoes since John will immediately turn around when he hears you’re wearing heels.

“Okay, you can do this. Who knows? This could be the best sex of your life…” you whisper to yourself as you walk down to the living room. You place your hand on the door handle as you try to calm yourself down, then you open the door and head downstairs.

John still has his back to you when you get to the bottom of the stairs, and you walk up behind him and lean against his back. He glances over his shoulder at you, then he leans back a little to kiss you.

“Bored upstairs?”

“Yeah, a little bit.” you say, then you wrap your arms around his waist, “Thought I’d come join you.”

John chuckles, “Well, you might be just as bored.”

You let go of John to pull off your robe, then you toss it on the couch behind you. Your hands shake as you stand there for a moment since you don’t know what to do, then you tap John’s shoulder and watch as he looks over his shoulder. He furrows his brow a little and spins around in his chair to get a better look at you, and his mouth instantly drops open as he stares at you.

“Do I look okay?”

John lets out a laugh in disbelief, then he grabs you and kisses you hard on the lips as he lifts you into his lap. He tosses the tool he was using over his shoulder as he kisses your neck, and you laugh when it rolls off the table and onto the floor.

“Should we go upstairs?” you ask as John continues to kiss your neck.

“No,” he shakes his head and sets you down, then he walks over to the sleeper sofa and pulls out the bed with little to no effort that makes the ache between your legs throb, “I’m taking you here. I can’t wait any longer.”

You shrug as you look at him, “Probably a good idea considering I think I might a little too loud.”

“No such thing.”

You smile as you watch John getting the bed all set up, and you laugh when he walks back over and grabs you to pull you into his arms. John carefully lays you down on the bed as you smile at him, then he crawls up to you and leaves kisses along your body. He tugs the garter belt that you’re wearing as you let out a small laugh, and you lean up to look at him as he gazes at you.

“So beautiful,” he whispers, pecking you before he gives your body more attention, “You look so fucking hot, baby.”

John continues to kiss all over your stomach and thighs, and you smile when he spreads your legs apart and gently rubs you over your underwear. You whimper softly as he slides his hand into your panties, then you prop yourself up on your elbows as you look down at him.

“You make me so wet, John.” you whisper as he smiles at you, then you lay back down so he can pull your underwear off. John loves a garter belt and stockings duo, so of course he doesn’t dare touch those. You close your eyes and bite your bottom lip when you feel John’s tongue sliding between your legs, and you arch your back and moan loudly when he sucks on your clit, “Oh, shit!”

John sucks on his finger before he slides it into your pussy, and you grip the mattress as he pumps his finger in and out slowly. He crawls up to you as he continues to finger you, and you grab him to pull him down to your lips.

“Fuck me,” you whisper to him as you frantically unbuckle his belt, and you smile when John lets out a small laugh, “What? I want you!”

“I want you too.” he whispers as he kneels on the bed to pull his shirt off, then he quickly kicks his pants and boxers off before he lays back down on top of you, “I always want you. Always.”

You wrap one arm around his neck and place your other hand on his cheek as he lays down on top and gets himself situated. You hold his gaze as he leans closer to your face, his lips brushing against yours and his breath hot against your skin, and you moan softly as he slips between your legs. John lets out a small breath as he pushes himself in deeper, then he swallows hard and shudders when he moves as far in as he can get. He says something about the feeling but it gets caught in his throat, so you’re not sure exactly what it was. You’ll take it as a compliment.

John slowly begins to thrust his hips as he holds your gaze, then he leans down to kiss you before he continues looking at you, “God, you’re so beautiful. I love you so much.”

“I love you,” you whisper to him as he smiles at you, “I love you more than anything.”

Digging your nails into John’s biceps, you arch your back and moan loudly as pleasure courses through your body, electrifying every nerve. The sound of John between your legs grows louder as you become wetter, and you cling to him as he picks up speed.

“Does that feel good?” he croons in your ear, and you whimper loudly, nodding your head, “You want me deeper?”

“Oh, fuck!” you scream loudly as John sits up to get a better angle, and you reach down and rub circles on your clit as John watches. He pats your thigh a little to get you to roll over, then he holds your hips as you kneel on the bed and wait for him to slide back between your legs.

John’s right hand slides up your back to your neck as he slowly pumps his hips, then he helps you sit up to lean against his chest. You look down as John pulls your bra off and tosses it to the floor, then you close your eyes and smile when John caresses your breasts and sucks on your neck. He immediately begins to fondle your breast with the piercing, and you let out a small laugh.

“Fuck, yes…” John whispers as he thrusts his hips, and you feel his hand sliding between your legs. You lean your hands on the back of the sofa as John grips your hips tighter and pounds into you, then you smile when he leans down to kiss your cheek. “My girl. My favorite person on this planet. Fuck, I love how you feel.”

You whimper as you lean back more to kiss John, then you squeeze your eyes shut and feel John’s breath against your neck as you both moan loudly. John jerks his hips harder one last time, then he lays down and smiles when you crawl on top of him. He holds your waist as you slide down every inch of him, and you place your hands on his chest as you roll your hips.

“You feel…” you shiver as your teeth begin to chatter, then you grip John’s chest harder, “You feel so…good! I need you to fuck me harder!”

John bends his knees and wraps his arms around you so you’ll lay against his chest, then he kisses you as he thrusts his hips. You cling to John as you let out a loud string of moans, then you grip his bicep as you nearly scream his name.

“Oh, shit! Oh, fuck, John! John!” you scream into the crook of his neck, then your body begins to jolt as you come.

John’s hips begin to move faster as he brings on his orgasm, and you cling to him even tighter since he’s losing his rhythm. He holds tight to you as he jerks his hips one last time to fill you up, then he frantically moves your hair out of your face to kiss you.

“Oh, god!” you moan loudly as John holds tight to you and rolls you onto the bed, then he kisses down to your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth. “Mm…”

“You…are so good.” John whispers, and you open your eyes to finally look at him, “So good, baby. I love you more than anything in this world, and I can promise that that will never change. You are the only person I want, the only person who I think of. You are a constant thought in my mind. No one else. Just my favorite girl.”

You reach up to touch John’s cheek, then you nod your head when he wipes away the tear slowly sliding down your cheek, “I love you so much, John. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“You are never losing me. I am with you until our last days.” he whispers, then he gently kisses you, “You’re the love of my life. The absolute love of my life, and that will never change.”

You sit up and pull your knees close to your chest to cover your breasts since you always feel a little self-conscious after you and John are intimate, then you look at him and tilt your head a little as you try to unscramble your thoughts.

“I’m sorry for being so blunt about Helen,” you whisper as John reaches over for your hand.

“Don’t be,” he shakes his head and moves closer, “Sometimes it’s okay to be blunt, especially when your husband is being clueless.”

You shake your head, “I don’t want you to think I’m still here always worrying about your love for me, or thinking that you’re still in love with Helen. Helen hasn’t been a subject of conversation for…a long time, then all of the sudden every story is about her. I know her birthday is soon…”

John nods as he sits up, then he looks over at you still covering yourself up. He lets out a small laugh, then he reaches over for his t-shirt, offering it to you. He grabs his boxers from the floor and pulls them on, then he smiles when you pull your hair away from your face.

He used to never be this comfortable around you. When you first started dating, he wouldn’t dare be completely naked in front of you. Obviously he was naked when you’d have sex, but after he’d usually put a blanket over his waist. Not anymore. Nope. He’ll just lay right there in front of you, completely naked. You certainly don’t mind. John is very well endowed, so you definitely don’t mind when he wants to…let it all hang out. He’s confident and it’s sexy.

“You know you don’t need to cover up around me.” he says, and you chuckle as you nod. “Why do you do that?”

“Just self-conscious, I guess.” you shrug, looking at him, “I’ve always been like that after sex though.”

Probably has something to do with your ex. He’d love your body during sex but he was usually pretty critical of it afterwards. John has never been like that but sometimes it’s hard to let go of trauma and rewire your brain. John definitely makes you feel sexy though and you know he’d never say a bad thing about your body.

John nods, “I know. But you should never feel insecure around me. I love your body.”

A smile spreads across your face as John lightly brushes his fingers over the stretchmarks on your thighs that you always worry about, then he moves closer to kiss you.

“Your body is…” John whispers as you hold his gaze, “Incredible.”

You laugh loudly, then you shove John’s shoulder a little, “You’re full of shit.”

John shakes his head as he lounges out next to you, “Not at all, Mrs. Wick. You look great.”

“Thanks,” you smile and lean down to kiss him.

“I know that I’ve been talking about Helen more and like I said the other night, I just wish she could be here to see how happy I am.” John whispers, and your eyes soften when he looks down at your hand in his, “We have the life that Helen and I would have wanted; quiet, simple, relaxed. We also have this other life that you and I want which is just chaotic and loud and unpredictable.”

You laugh as you nod, “Well, that’s life with a baby.”

“And it’s great!” he smiles, then it slowly fades a little, “I just wish Helen could see how happy you and Ronan make me. It’s all so confusing to me, so I’m sure it is for you as well.”

“No, I get it.” you nod when he looks at you, “It’s a great life, why wouldn’t you want her to see that?”

John nods, “Helen wasn’t just my wife, she was my friend. She was my only friend. I didn’t have Jimmy and Aurelio then.”

You reach over and cup his face when his chin wobbles a little, “I know.”

“She’d be happy for me.” he says, and you scoot closer to him, “I know there was a part of Helen that knew I wanted a family. I didn’t even know it until I met you, but maybe it was always there. She just figured it out before me. Having a family was something that she couldn’t give me. Only you could give me all of this.”

You smile tenderly when John looks up at you, and you lean over to kiss him a few times as he rubs his thumb over your cheek. You hold his gaze for a moment, then you look down at his hand on your thigh.

“She would be so happy to know that I’ve found my peace,” he says, and you look at him, remembering the words from Helen’s final card to John. “You’re my peace. In this chaotic world we live in, you give me peace. You calm me, you settle my brain and unscramble my mind. There is no one in this world that can give me that but you. I know this and you know this. You’re my soulmate.”

You sniffle as you look up at him, “I’m not asking you to never speak about her. I have never asked you to not speak about her or tell me stories about her. I’m well aware that you were married once before and you had a pretty good life with her, and believe it or not, I am so happy that you had that.”

John smiles softly, “I know you are.”

“I’m glad that you had her and had a beautiful life while it lasted.” you smile as you reach over to cup his face, “I’m glad you had someone to take care of you until I got here.”

“Me too,” he whispers, kissing the palm of your hand.

You sigh a little as you hold his gaze, “Maybe you want Helen to meet Ronan…”

John looks down and nods his head as he holds your hand, “I was thinking about asking you, but I wasn’t sure. I don’t want to cross any lines.”

“Maybe if she meets her…”

“I’ll stop talking about her,” he says, and you slouch and look down as you tear up, feeling guilty about being so upset. “Hey, hey, look at me.”

You look up at John as he tilts your chin up, “I feel bad now.”

“Don’t.” he shakes his head, “Don’t feel bad. I apologize for how I’ve made you feel, okay? I’m sorry.”

“I know,” you smile as you look at him, “And I am too.”

John smiles as he wraps his arms around you to hug you tight, and you melt in the warmth and security of his arms. You bury your face in the crook of his neck and inhale his cologne sticking to his skin, then you lean back and smile when he moves your hair out of your face.

“Why don’t we go out and see Helen tomorrow?” you say, and John nods his head. You get up from the bed and grab your lingerie that is thrown around the basement, then you smile at John as he grabs his jeans. “Sorry I distracted you from finishing your book.”

“It was a much welcomed distraction,” he whispers against your lips, then he stands back as you trade out his t-shirt for your robe since he’ll need to finish his work. He pulls his shirt back on and smiles as he sits down on the stool and pulls you between his legs, “I’ll be up in about 20 minutes.”

You wrap your arms around his neck and look into his eyes, “Okay.”

“I love you more than anything in this world. I want you to know that,” he whispers as you tear up, “You’re the only one for me.”

“I love you too.” you lean forward to kiss him, then you gesture to his book as you sniffle, “I’ll let you finish that.”

John pats your side as he smiles at you, “I’ll be up soon. Please don’t go up there and cry.”

“I wont,” you say, despite the fact that you’re tearing up. John tilts his head and gives you a look that makes you laugh, “I won’t! It’s just a little extra leftover tears from our conversation.”

“I mean it, peach,” he pulls you back to him, “If you’re still feeling upset, talk to me. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

You cup his face and hold his gaze, “I am. I promise. I’m okay.”

John looks into your eyes for a moment longer, then he kisses you gently, “Okay. Just keep checking in with me, okay? I don’t want you to feel upset or anything.”

“I know.”

He’s truly the best man. He really, really is.

A smile spreads across your face as you watch John turning back to finish his book, and you head upstairs to take a shower.

__

John stopped by the florist to get some flowers for Helen, and you laughed when he came out with a huge bouquet for you as well. You’re certainly not upset with him anymore, but it is nice that he has apologized and acknowledged that he was talking about Helen too much.

You would never ask him to stop talking about her since you know he’s not purposely doing it to hurt your feelings. He’s just happy in his life and he feels guilty that he’s so happy and living a great life. It’s a hard thing for even John to wrap his head around half the time, so he doesn’t expect you to fully understand, but you understand enough.

Leaning against the tree, you smile as you watch John kneel down in front of Helen’s tombstone as he holds Ronan. You’re too far from him to be able to hear what he’s saying, but you can see his mouth moving. He bounces Ronan in his arms a little and kisses her cheek, then he looks at the granite tombstone as you tiptoe closer.

“Best thing that has ever happened to me, Hel, I swear. Being a dad is…amazing. It’s better than anything I could have imagined.” he whispers, and you stand back a little, “I still don’t know how I got so lucky. I’ll never understand what I did to deserve them. First with Y/N and now with Ronan. Still don’t know if I even deserve them. I’m trying my best not to let them down, but I might have failed lately with Y/N, but I’m trying. I’m trying every day to be better because that’s what she deserves. She’s…so amazing.”

Ronan looks over John’s shoulder and waves at you, and you smile as you wave back at her. She reaches out for you and causes John to look over his shoulder, and you grimace.

“Sorry,” you point at Ronan, “I can take her.”

“Nah, come here.” he sits down in the grass and reaches for your hand.

You sit down next to John and take Ronan to set her in your lap, then you look at him, “When was the last time you were here?”

“When we came here and her sister showed up,” he says, and you scrunch your face a little as he laughs, “Yeah. Well, I just wanted Helen to meet Ro since this is the last time I’ll be coming out here.”

You furrow your brow and shake your head, “John, I--”

“I know. I know you’re not suggesting that,” he nods as he looks at you, then he smiles, “But I think Helen would understand. I can already hear her yelling at me and telling me to stop coming to visit her when I have you and this chunky bug at home.”

You look down at Ronan as John pinches her cheek, then you look up at him as he continues.

“I have such a great life with you, peach.” he whispers, then he shakes his head as he gestures to the tombstone, “I’d be upset too if the tables were turned, so don’t ever think you’re wrong for feeling the way you feel. It’s just you and I now.”

“Us and the bug.”

John chuckles, nodding his head, “Us and the bug. And I love it.”

“We love you.” you smile as you meet him halfway to kiss him.

“Let’s get out of here,” he says, groaning a little as he gets up. He reaches down to help you up, then he brushes away the grass on the back of your pants before reaching for your hand, “I think we deserve some ice cream.”

You chuckle softly, “I’m not trying to blame everything on it because it obviously wasn’t all me, but…I got my period this morning.”

John looks down at you and laughs, “Really?”

“Yeah…” you blush a little as you nod, then you look at him, “I know I was being a little…dramatic, but now it’s a little more obvious as to why. My periods since having Ro have been…rough, so to speak.”

“That’s okay,” John smiles as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, “I was mostly to blame though.”

You stop at the car and watch as John gets Ronan in her car seat, then you smile at him and wrap your arms around him tight. He smooths your hair away from your face with both his hands, then he cups your face and kisses you tenderly as your eyes roll shut. He wraps his arms around your waist and places his hands firmly on your ass, and you both start to laugh when he squeezes a handful a few times.

“So grateful for you, peach.” he whispers, and you tilt your head as you smile at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you peck him again, then you get in the car and watch as he looks over at Helen’s tombstone one last time, which causes you to tear up a little. You smile as John gets in the car and reaches for your hand, and you let out a small laugh when Ronan squeals loudly in the backseat. “Yeah, you tell him, Ro. Hurry up, dad!”

John leans up to look in the rearview mirror at Ronan, then he laughs, “Okay, okay! Let’s go get some ice cream!”

__

You wander around the house and look for any of Ronan’s toys that might have been snuck away by Sadie, who is notorious for stealing toys, and you smile when you walk past the office and see John looking at the computer screen.

“Hey, you…” John says just as you walk past, and you lean against the door frame and look at him, “What are you doing?”

“Well,” you take a deep breath and cross your arms, “Tess called me a little bit ago and told me to keep an eye on Ro’s toys since Sadie likes to chew on baby toys, so I am currently hunting any lost toys down.”

John chuckles, “Found any yet?”

“Nope,” you shake your head, then you walk in and look around the office, “Oh! Spoke too soon.”

You bend over and find a toy hidden under a pillow, then you hold it up and look at it. It’s not one of Ronan’s most played with toys, so you’re not too upset about it. You’re not upset with Sadie either; these things happen.

“Ro never plays with that anyway,” John says, and you nod as you toss it into the garbage can next to him. He turns in the chair a little and smiles, and you walk over to sit in his lap as he wraps his arm around you, “You smell good, like…vanilla.”

“It’s the perfume you bought me.” you smile, then you inhale deeply before you look at him, “Look, I know the conversation has moved on, we’re all good, it’s been hours, but…I don’t want you to not go see Helen anymore, and I know you’re probably thinking ��she’s just going to be upset when I go’, but I won’t. I don’t want to take that away from you. Seeing the way you took one last look at her grave just broke my heart. I can’t take that from you.”

John rubs your back and shakes his head, “You’re not taking it from me. I’m choosing you. I’m choosing to put the past in the past.”

“But she has no family here,” you say as John wipes away the tear on your cheek, “She has no one here to tend to her grave or come out to give her flowers for her birthday. I can’t stand the thought of that. I’ve always tried my best to respect your relationship with Helen because I know if I ever say anything bad or negative about her, you’re gone. You’d leave.”

“I would not.” John says, seeming hurt by the accusation.

You look down at your hands and swallow hard, “Or you’d hold resentment towards me for it.”

“No. I know you,” John whispers, rubbing his thumb against your chin, “I know you better than I know myself, so I know you’d never say anything bad about Helen. You’re not that kind of person.”

“I would never say anything bad about her,” you say softly, and he nods as you inhale deeply, “I’m not saying we need to go have picnics out there for her birthday and every holiday, but...”

John smiles, “How about this? How about when I feel like going out there, I will?”

You hold his gaze for a moment, then you look down at your wedding ring, “Um…”

A small laugh escapes John’s lips as you look back up at him, “You think I’m going to go there all the time now, don’t you?”

“Well…” you look at him and laugh a little since he caught you.

“I’m not,” he shakes his head, then he sits back a little and looks at you, “I think this is where I should spend most of my time, and I like that. I like it here. Just the three of us.”

You nod, “I guess there’s this part of me that knows that if it were you that…passed, I would sleep on your grave.”

John chuckles, “Well, I’m flattered.”

“I am so desperately in love with you that I can’t imagine moving on and marrying someone else.”

“That’s good…” John nods, raising his brows, “Considering I’m alive and healthy.”

You playfully roll your eyes and shove his shoulder, “You know what I mean!”

“I do,” he nods as he holds your gaze, “And before I met you, I felt the same way. Who knows, maybe after I--”

“Oh, fuck no!” you get up from his lap and put your hand out, “We are definitely not going there. You’re living until you’re 160.”

John laughs as he reaches for your hand, “As long as you’re here with me, I am totally fine with that.”

Letting out a small sigh, you walk back over to him and stand between his legs as you cup his face, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he smiles, leaning up a little to kiss you, “I’m not going anywhere. You’re gonna be sick of me soon.”

“Impossible.” you whisper, then you kiss his forehead and smile at him as you lightly rub your thumb over his beard, “Popcorn and a movie?”

John gets up from the chair and nods his head, then he wraps his arms around you from behind and walks into the kitchen with you still tight in his grip. He buries his face in the crook of your neck as you get a bag of popcorn out to pop, and you laugh when he doesn’t let go.

“Not letting go?”

“Never,” he whispers, and you look over your shoulder at him and smile when he tightens his grip.

You close your eyes and wrap his arms around you more, then you lean back against his chest and feel the warmth he radiates soaking into your skin as you smile.

“Good.”

__

taglist:

@sakurachan-9 @beingnerdyissupercool @tnu-ree @ruby-octo @scream-queen-25 @ladyren33

[princessbrunette]

rafe whos proud of u for being the bigger person for once ?? maybe in an argument w someone u are always the one throwing tantrums but for (once) u decided to keep the rage to urself and rafe is js so proud :(

🧁ಇ.ೀ

arguing with a friend over text was juvenile — rafe thought so anyway, but he also supposed that a girl like yourself wouldn’t wanna handle all her business face to face, or with violence such as he would.

you’d been in endless conflict lately. what about? he couldn’t tell you, but everyday it was a new argument with one of your friends which lead to a total, utter meltdown which he had to calm you down from. you didn’t take well to being accused of things, you didn’t like being treated poorly and you hated feeling misunderstood. that’s what he’d gathered from these out bursts anyway, usually explained through muffled babbling as he holds you tightly to his chest. you were like him in a sense sometimes, couldn’t control your emotions. however instead of lashing out, you just were a total cry baby.

he’d found you like that when he’d arrived home, being able to hear it all the way from downstairs. he sighs, jogging up the stairs to find you pacing his bedroom, phone tightly clutched infront of you, letting out loud sobs with your eyes glued to the screen.

“whats— what’s all this what’s going on?” rafe pauses in the doorway, dumbfounded and practically gaping at the fact this was happening again. you sniff harshly, voice high and defensive like rafe was the one attacking you.

“she said i’m a bad friend and i’m disloyal but you know i’m not you know i try—” you cough, and rafe walks in, setting his sunglasses and keys down on the dresser.

“who? same girl who was givin’ you trouble yesterday?” he squints, leaning against the dresser as he watches you pace around, an upset wreck.

“yes.” you whine, bringing a fingernail to your mouth as you continue to cry, reading over the message.

“alright, okay so what are you gonna do about it? ‘cos this can’t keep happening everyday baby you’re — you’re not in high school anymore.” he pushes, almost unable to believe for once that he was the voice of reason.

you think for a long time, letting out a sad sob as you lock your phone and drop it onto the bed, wiping your eyes. “be the bigger person.” you repeat his words, words he’s been encouraging you to follow since the first argument. it was difficult, you refused — and he didn’t fight you too hard on it. being the bigger person is hard when you’re being unfairly attacked.

“yeah? come over here.” he opens his arms and you drag your feet over, snivelling and pawing at your eyes. “its hard, alright? if anyone knows it’s me. but you’re… you’re so much better than these girls okay they’re nobodies. trust me. you’re doin’ a good thing kid. believe it.” he gently bats your hands away so he can thumb beneath your eyes instead, cupping your hot wet face with large coarse hands.

“not in high school anymore.” you repeat his words, voice raspy from your own crying and he nods slowly, eyes wide and intense as they stare into yours. he really wanted to get the message across.

“right. you’re a big girl now. time to do big girl things, yeah? when you’re with me, you—you can let all that shit go and lemme take care of things. but when it comes to your friends they’re just immature little girls and you gotta step up. like me, yeah?” he points to his chest in a quick succession of taps. “like daddy.”

you nod in his grasp, exhausted from it all. “okay.”

it’s then he lets you melt against him, cradling your body to his chest and rubbing your back with the wide expanse of his hand. “okay. i’m proud, don’t forget that.”

🧁ಇ.ೀ

[silvervioletvalentine]

Stay , stay , stay , cause I’ve been loving you for quite some time

Pairing: Auston Matthews x Cherrie , Charles leclerc x Cherrie

Word count: 8k

Summary: in which Auston Matthews knows what he wants and Cherrie just wanted stability . And poor Charles doesn’t know what’s coming for him .

Or- in which Auston just wants to stay , stay , stay.

Warnings: cheating! Ew I’m sorry but like , also not! Cheating is gross so don’t do it irl but also, that doesn’t count here for this story sorry!!;) smut , guilt and pregnancy towards the end but doesn’t go into detail of baby’s etc . Happy ending but not for charles:( lemme know what u think!! My two fav worlds clashing nhlxf1 !) love you guys xoxo

The thing was, Cherrie knew exactly who Auston Matthews was . How could she not? After being best friends with Lucy for the past two years , she had heard all about her boyfriends best friend , who also happened to be his teammate too.

And that have been fine, it all would have been okay if Auston had been normal and polite . If he had shook her hand hello and made polite conversation , then maybe they could have even had been distant friends whenever she came to see Lucy in Toronto.

But life was never that simple was it? Not to her it wasn't.

Because Auston didn't want to be her friend , that much was clear . From the very first time they had met and the very first time she had murmured a sweet hello to him, he had made it very clear to her of what he thought .

He didn't even try to hide the way he looked at her , the way his eyes would linger on her body , on her lips and the way he would automatically grin whenever she would speak . His eyes always searching for her when he entered the room, even when his best friend was right there, he came straight for her .

It was the way he had followed her on every social media , commented publicly on every pictures she posted . Finding new and creative ways to express just how beautiful he really thought she was , and because they were all such good friends , they were in a groupchat together , which meant he had her number.

And Auston wasn't one to waste a perfect opportunity in front of him.

Which led to late night texts after his games , smug 'did you see me score tonight gorgeous?' With a 'get fucked Auston.' Reply from her almost immediately.

Which led to him calling her , which led to her picking up just to tell him to leave her alone , which somehow led to them bickering over why her favourite cookies were better than his , which led to switching to FaceTime so they could argue properly  , in his words  .

Which led to him talking to her until she fell asleep mid murmuring to him.

And even though she spent most of her time in Monaco , there would be flowers at her door every Friday and fresh chocolates arriving every Monday morning from him. A simple 'roses are are classic beauty, just like you.' Written on the card from him personally .

And when she came back to see Lucy , he would be by here . Smiling at her like she was all he wanted to see , like she was all that mattered to him then.

And she would roll her eyes and he would skim his hand across her back gently whenever he passed her by, squeezing her hips as he murmured a smug 'excuse me' only to round back to her a moment later with a drink in his hand for her.

And she would tell him off in French , tell him to behave and that she knew what he was doing and he would simply smile and tell he didn't understand French , sorry sweetheart.

His grin only widening when she would insult him and start an argument , her blood pumping with excitement when he would roll his eyes and bicker back. His side pressed to hers as he told her she was wrong , that there was no way French cheese was better than good old American cheese.

Then she would swear that as soon as he tasted it he would take that back, and he would slyly reply 'you offering to take me back to Monaco with you?'

And she would fluster and banter back, in your dreams matthews .

And maybe their back and forths would be okay, maybe his clear intentions and his warm hands and his whispered words would be okay, In another world . But it wasn't okay and it wasn't right .

Because Cherrie had a boyfriend. A very kind and very Beautiful boyfriend who thought the world of her . Who was sweet and funny in a fumbling boyish way . A boyfriend who loved her and promised her a steady future .

Charles was the perfect partner really . The picture perfect couple they were , admired and adored by all. Cherrie couldn't risk breaking that, it was all she had. All she had come to know.

Because she had never had a promise of absolute before , a steadiness that guaranteed calmness and no drama . A future of white and little hands and chubby cheeks , of a husband and a perfect home.

The perfect life that she knew Charles could give her. One that he promised her , always .

And she loved Charles , she did. She had followed him around to as many races as she could , even though he never had time to be at her concerts or her award shows, she made sure that she was there for his. Because he was so good to her , so sweet and perfect. He didn't deserve anything less than her loyalty and devotion.

And she had never hesitated before , never doubted what they had. Not until now.

But she couldn't  do that to him, or to herself . With Charles , her life was set in stone and what woman didn't want the big house and the French wedding and all the family and friends , the babies and the calmness and stability?

No. No. Her future was in her hands and she wasn't going to let some mouthy, over confident , stubborn hockey player change that.

Auston Matthews would leave her alone eventually , he would grow bored of chasing her around. His silly little infatuation on her would fade, she told herself firmly . It had to.

And she told herself that over and over again until she maybe started to believe it. And then she got called to sing at the all star games , and Auston was there. Because of cause he was , he was captain and he was waiting for her as soon as she stepped through the doors of the building.

Sometimes she wondered if he had a tracker on her because whenever she arrived , he was always there. At this point , she was surprised he hadn't shown up at her door in Monaco yet . It seemed like something he would do.

"Auston." She sighed out tiredly when she saw him, looking him up and down. Dressed in a knitted jumper and ripped jeans, a beanie on his head . He was the picture  of cosy.

And her clothes suddenly felt to tight and uncomfortable, hating that her stylist had put her in the tightest jeans possible and the tightest shirt she owned tugging at her chest, her long hair reaching her hips . She wished that she could put on a cosy jumper and just go to sleep, Jetlag was a bitch.

He smiled down at her , towering over her always . He felt his heart skip a beat as he looked into her honey eyes , swearing that there wasn't a woman more beautiful in the world than Cherrie .

"Hey baby. You tired?" He guessed easily as he looked at her slouched shoulders and yawning mouth , a fond smile tugging at his lips .

He reached over and took her sparkly bag from her , hooking it over his arm instead.

She couldn't help but giggle a little at the sight of him with her glittery bag tucked under his arm , and she would blame the tiredness for the way she let him put his arm over  her shoulder and lead her along . For the way she leaned into his side and quietly inhaled his cologne , the same one that she had bought him for Christmas last year .

"Yes. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just get a place here." She mumbled without thinking of how Auston would take that comment . "Plus I miss Lucy when I'm back in Monaco . Maybe.." she trailed off yawning again.

Auston smiled to himself , squeezing her shoulder gently as he led her to the locker room that was empty . None of the other players arriving yet.

"I could always use a roommate baby." He slyly said , smirking down at her when she glared lazily up at him for his comment .

She just rolled her eyes at him , mostly amused at how he just couldn't help himself around her . "In your dreams matthews. You'd be a terrible roommate anyways." She replied , slapping his hand away when she felt it dip a little too low in her back.

He chuckled and let her step away , crossing the locker room door behind them. Placing her sparkly bag on the hook near his jersey and name , he gently pushed her down onto the bench so she could rest her feet .

Looking down at the matching sparkly heels on her feet , he rose a brow judgmentally . "Why are you wearing these killers?" He knelt down in front of her and begin to unhook the little straps .

Cherrie could only watch in surprise , feet aching too much to keep them on anyways , as he tugged her heels off.

"Cause they're pretty." She simply told him "and they match my bag." She added as though he hasn't already noticed . He noticed everything she did , said and wore .

Auston nodded his head in agreement as he pulled the other one off before standing up to reach into his training bag. Pulling out a pair of familiar trainers  , Cherrie could only watch in disbelief as he started putting her sketchers on her feet instead.

"What the fuck?" She voiced her shock making him glance up at her in question "why do you have my trainers? Why are they in your bag right now?" She wondered , perplexed .

Auston just shrugged like it was no big deal "you left them here last time you came,  so I put them in my bag cause I knew you would turn up in pretty heels and that your feet would be hurting you. Good job I did huh?" He grinned up at her smugly as he tied the laces for her into bunny bows .

Cherrie was Speechless at his thoughtful thinking . Remembering the way Charles had told her it was her fault for wearing heels the last time they had went out and she complained about her feet hurting, he had told her to suck it up and that beauty was pain anyways.

At the thought of her boyfriend , she cleared her throat  and quickly stood up as soon as Auston was finished tying her shoes for her . Putting some space between them , she tucked her hair behind her eyes nervously .

She shouldn't be in here alone with him, she thought to herself in slight panic . If anyone found out ...

"Er-merci." She mumbled to Auston instead . Leaning against the wall behind her as she watched him look right back at her , a small smile on his face .

"Don't worry about it baby. Glad to help." He simply replied, waving off her thanks like he always did.

Then he looked at her hair and tilted his head a little "did you get highlights while you were away? Looks a little lighter . And more .." he made a chopping motion near his jaw motioning to the layers she had cut in there "it frames your face prettily." He compliments her easily .

Cherrie felt her cheeks flush. She had gotten highlights and a little cut. Charles hasn't even noticed.

But Auston had.

"Yeah .." she ran her fingers through her hair consciously "I got some layers as well to give it more volume . Do you like it?" She cursed herself mentally as soon as the little girlish question for validation had slipped out.

But Auston didn't even blink. He simply nodded his head and reached over to pick up a piece of her hair , admiring it closely .

"I do. It suites you. Makes you look somehow even more beautiful." He breathed out, his eyes flickering up to meet hers. He looked between her eyes like he was searching for something and when she swallowed , his smile slipped into a soft smirk.

"You like the lil 'tache?" He questioned her back, wiggling his lips to show off his moustache to her.

Cherrie let out a startled laugh at the sudden questions , gaze slipping down to his lips? Her throat feeling dry.

"Yeah." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper as she looked back up to his hooded eyes set on her , she exhaled shakily "cosplaying Luigi aus?"she teased him lightly .

He just breathed out a quite laugh "you like Luigi?"

She nodded barely "yeah. I always play him." She murmured.

His smile crooked "then yeah. I'm cosplaying him baby."

There was a tension filled silence filling the room as they just stared at each other , and Cherrie felt all those complicated emotions filling the gaps of her Ribcage till they beat down on her chest as a violent reminder that she shouldn't be doing this.

She shouldn't be entertaining him like this, she shouldn't be stood so close and letting him so near.

She knew what he wanted . He had never tried to hide it.

But she had ...she had a boyfriend . Charles .

She inhaled sharply and Auston chose that moment to break the silence , not moving even an inch away.

His hands coming up to press against the wall above her head , boxing her between his body and the wall behind her . She swallowed .

"I missed you. Why didn't you pick up my call on Saturday?" He asked her quietly already knowing the answer but wanting hear it anyway. It almost felt like he was taunting her.

Cherries jaw ticked as she answered him shortly "I was with my boyfriend Auston. I don't have time for you." And maybe that was cruel and mean.

But so was the little laugh he gave her too. His eyes sharpening into her own with familiarity . Her chest buzzed .

"Oh yeah? And what were you doing with Charlie boy hmmm?" He ducked his head to stare at her , his expression taunting "did I interrupt some awful fuck? You should be thankful really." He said.

Cherrie glared up at him , half enraged and half embarrassed.

"Shut up! You don't get to speak like that to me Auston." She warned him sternly .

He just rose a brow mockingly "oh yeah?" He let out a breathy laugh  "then why do you let me then hmm? Why not push me away?"

And he was right . She hated that he was right. Because she could have pushed him away and he would have let her . She didn't have to follow into this room and banter with him like this, she didn't have to do anything .

But she wanted to. And she hated herself for it.

"You need to stop Auston." She weakly resorted hands resting on his chest as though she was going to push him away. "I have a boyfriend and I love him." She said it more as a reminder to herself.

Auston knew that and he just laughed lowly "sometimes I find it hard to believe you ya know? When we're like this. Why do you have to remind yourself that you do? I'm not forcing you to be here." he reminded her as well.

"I know.." she whispered , lip trembling as she clenched her fingers around his sweatered chest.

"I'm going to leave." She promised him, herself , Charles . She didn't fucking know anymore .

All she could see was the warmth in Austons eyes and the freckles on his nose as he gently nudged it against her own.

"But you'll always come back." He replied then he kissed her.

And the guilt wasn't heavy enough In her chest to stop her from kissing him back , it didn't stop her from wrapping her arms around his neck and letting him hoist her legs around his waist as he pressed her back against the wall.

And all thoughts of Charles were forced from her mind as Auston snaked his tongue into her mouth , his pelvis pressed up against hers as she moaned against his mouth. Tasting the roof his mouth and the soft sponge of his tongue , she bit down on his bottom lip with her teeth and pulled it not so gently till he was groaning too.

"Fuck baby.." he muttered as he pulled his mouth away, his eyes dark and promising as he pressed kisses down her neck instead . Sucking at the sweet spot below her jaw , she whimpered and fisted his hair tightly between her fingers.

"Don't leave any marks." She pleaded , making him chuckle against the soft skin of her neck. Her body shivering as she reached down to unbuckle his jeans , his fingers fumbling for her button too.

Auston kept presses kisses over her face , her brow , her nose and mouth as he worked her jeans down her hips . His fingers easily slipping between her lips and feeling the wet heat he had caused so easily .

"All for me baby?" He smugly murmured into her before roughly spinning her body around until she was facing the wall, her arms as spread as her legs were . Head bowed down and eyes squeeze shut in excitement , lust and guilt. A lethal mix.

"God you're so damn beautiful baby." He almost whimpered himself as he slid his finger through her folds , gathering the slickness over her fluttering hole .

Cherrie could only moan as she felt his ring finger slip through her pussy with ease, fucking her with it quickly and hard .

Her hands shaking against the wall as she felt his other hand quickly find her clit, rubbing hard circles till her knees were buckling , his body keeping her upright .

"I dream of you ya know? When you're gone. I think of your big fucking eyes and that sweet mouth of yours .." he breathed out heavily pulling away his fingers only to rub his cockhead up against her pussy instead ."shit." He gritted out clenching her hips in his hand as he slid right home .

Cherrie let out a soft cry trying to keep quite as he fucked himself  into her , not giving her a moment to adjust before he was pounding into her like a man starved for warmth. His hips snapping back against hers as he grunted against her neck, kissing her shoulder and her ear , over her jaw till she was a moaning , crying mess .

"juste comme ça(just like that)" she babbled out tears filling her eyes as she felt him in her stomach

"Auston!" She cried out.

Auston let out a deep moan at his name in her mouth , "ah shit baby!" He grunted out "fuck! No one can fuck you like I can , can they huh?" He taunted.

She felt tears leaving her eyes from the pleasure as he fucked her like she was some dirty slut he had picked up at a bar for the night .

"No! Nooo! Just you baby , just you!" She babbled out , a mess as she reached back to clutch at his hair, keeping his head tucked into her neck as he mouthed at her tender skin , tongue tracing his name till she was quivering .

"Yeah? Not even Charles?" Hearing his name made her clench around him and he gritted out a taunting chuckle.

"shit. You're such a dirty girl Cher, what would Charlie think if he saw you like this hmm? Clenching around my cock as you whispered my name?" He pounded into her even harder "you think he'd be happy?" He laughed "cause I certainly am."

"Fuck you!" She managed to grit out between breaths. The pleasure overweighting the guilt as she felt the cord tightening in her stomach .

"You are baby. And you will again and again. God I -" he couldn't even finish his sentence and maybe that was for the best, before she was coming around his cock . Auston following right behind her .

Lazily fucking them through the haze , he held her back to his chest as they caught their breath back.

Reaching down to place a soft kiss on her cheek, he gently pulled out with a hiss. Then pulled up her panties and her jeans and his own too just as noises filled the hallway.

Nearly making them jump out of their skin as the locker room door burst open, Mitch's excited face filling the door only to fall slightly at the sight of them.

And Auston was sure they made quite the pair . Clothes askew , hair a mess and sweaty with the smell of sex filling the room. But he couldn't bring himself to care , too busy grinning smugly at a now pale Cherrie as she quickly scurried over to get her bag . Leaving her heels there.

"Guys?" Mitch hesitantly spoke up, eyeing the both of them in shock.

His eyes flickering to Auston in shock , "everything alright?" He awkwardly asked.

Cherrie just coughed and plastered a smile onto her trembling lips , unable to look at either of them now.

"Everything's fine. Just Auston winding me up as usual." She breathed out not sparing him a glance before she was pushing past Auston to get out the room, heart pounding in her chest as the realisation of what she had done came crashing down on her.

"I've gotta go-"

Auston just kept smiling  "see you later baby!"

"Get wrecked Auston!" She called back angrily over her shoulder before disappearing completely.

Leaving Mitch looking at him in disbelief "please tell me you didn't Auston.." he sighed loudly In worry.

Auston just laughed "okay then I didn't."

She didn't answer the phone that night. Auston couldn't really blame her .

The worst thing was that Cherrie had guilty hoped that it would never happen again. That it would just be a one off mistake , a secret that she's take down to the grave with her. But she should have known better than to believe that Auston Matthews would ever change his mind about her .

But it still didn't change the way her stomach dropped right down to her ass when a month later , at the Monaco Grand Prix , there was Auston Matthews and Mitch and Lucy stood there with Charles . All of them taking like they were the best of friends.

Cherrie wanted to be sick as she saw the way Auston was casually chatting to her boyfriend like he hadn't completely wrecked her entire relationship last month , not that her poor boyfriend knew but still. What the hell was he playing at?

Before she could turn around and make a quick escape , Charles was quick to spot her and wave her over with a fond smile on his face .

"Ah mon amour! Look who came to see you! Are you surprised?" Charles beamed at her as he pulled her into his side , gazing at her expectantly . Excitement on his face as he motioned her to her best friend , Mitch and Auston happily .

She loosely hugged his waist and avoided Auston gaze , heart pounding in her chest . "Did you- did you do this?" She practically squeaked out .

Charles beamed proudly at her "yes! Are you happy?" He asked her pleased with himself for surprising her . She sure looked surprised to him, wide eyed and flushed cheeked .

She swallowed thickly , guilt quickly consuming her again  .

"So happy ." She muttered plastering a smile onto her face for him. "Thank you." She pressed a quick kiss to his lips and practically felt Austin's eyes burning through her skull.

She shuddered.

Then she took a deep breath and faced the three of them with a smile . Quickly hugging her best friend tightly "I've missed you so much Luce!" She kissed her cheeks brightly , the two girls beaming at other.

Lucy grinned at her happily "thank Auston and Charles really! Auston contacted Charles with the idea of us to surprise you!" She let her know obviously.

But this new information made Cherrie look at Auston with a sternness in her eyes , finally making contact with his smug smirk and knowing eyes.

She gritted her teeth and said through a forced smile "did he? How sweet." She wanted to kill him for knowingly putting her in this position .

Auston took it with ease , even going as far as slapping Charles shoulder like a good friend . Her boyfriend smiling  at him politely like the good guy he was .

She felt sick. Actually sick.

"Just thought it would be nice for us all to catch up! Plus you talk so much about this Charles , thought it was time that I met him!" Auston squinted his eyes at her challengingly and Cherrie knew that this was her punishment for ignoring his texts all month.

But what did he expect her to do? Act like nothing had happened? To just ditch Charles for him? The guilt was making her feel physically Ill.

She was not a cheater . But she - she was , wasn't she?

She had cheated on her sweet boyfriend with a loud mouth hockey player who was so certain that he was the one for her . What the actual fuck has she done?

She took a deep breath and looked at Charles helplessly . He took it as her being speechless with happiness .

Charles grinned at Auston pleasantly "well it's nice to meet you. How are you finding Monaco?" He asked him politely .

But Auston was looking straight at her when he replied "beautiful, so beautiful in fact that I could see myself falling in love with it."

She choked on her breath and Charles turned to her with surprise , patting her back with a amused laugh.

"You good?" He grinned at her pressing a kiss to her cheek and Cherrie wanted to kill herself. "Maybe you should go get a drink. The heat is pretty strong."

But Cherrie could see the way Mitch was looking between her and Auston with a crease in his brow , suspicion clearly written across his usually happy face.

She looked at her boyfriend with a smile just as his assistant came to tell him to get his helmet on and get in the damn car .

He smiled down at her and motioned down the hallway .

"go rest in my room. I'll see you later yeah?" He kissed her quickly before leaving , winking at her over his shoulder .

As soon as she could , Cherrie was making an excuse to head down to Charles room while the others watched the race . And she became keenly aware of the footsteps following closely behind , attempting to slam the door on him but Auston just laughed loudly .

Pushing his way through in amusement "can't get rid of me that easily baby." He told her with a smile as he locked the door behind them.

But Cherrie was seething with guilt and anxiety "what is wrong with you?!" She demanded to know as she chucked a throw pillow at him in anger.

He dodged it with ease.

He snorted "what? I was just doing a nice thing . Thought you'd be happy." He replied knowing for a fact that she would not be. But he had to see her. He missed her.

Cherrie glared at him in disbelief "happy? You're torturing me! Playing nicey nice with my boyfriend like that! I could kill you!" She quietly screamed at him so nobody could overhear. Everyone too busy watching the race anyways , just like she should be.

Auston sighed and crossed the room to her , standing just close enough to touch. "What did you want me to do? Be rude! Ignore him? Come right out and say 'I fucked-"

"Shut up!" She cut him off quickly . Slapping his shoulder hard in anger .

"Why are you torturing me like this?" She wanted to cry. Wanted the guilt to go away, wanted the sick wanting for him to go away too.

It would be so much easier if she just hates him but she didn't , couldn't . No matter how much she tried.

Austin's face softened as he saw just how upset she was . He gently cupped her face in his hand and let out a guilty sigh .

"I'm sorry baby. I just wanted to see you." He admitted to her quietly "I missed you."

"This is wrong Auston." She whispered to him with a sniff . Looking into his eyes and just wishing it could be easy. And she only had herself to blame.

He nodded in agreement "I know it is and I'm sorry but-" he chewed at his lip in frustration "every time I close my eyes I see you Cherrie . When I'm at practice I listen to your songs and I pretend it's me you're singing too. And I -" he exhaled long and hard "and I know it's not right but I can't help how I feel. And the worst part is I know that you feel it too.."

The tears were clouding her eyes now and she shook her head at him in frustration , chest feeling tight.

"I can't Auston okay? I can't do that to him-"

"You already have Cherrie!" He raised his voice at her slightly , heart pounding in his chest . "Can't you see? You're driving me fucking crazy!"

She scoffed and pushed at his chest "oh yeah? And you're just making me feel like a fucking care bear are you?!" She snapped back at him.

He rolled his eyes . Then he surged forward  , cupped her cheeks and kissed her hard.

And she , she kissed him back. Because of course she did.

And when they were done and they were cuddled on the couch back in their clothes , Auston asked her quietly

"Would you ever write a song about me?" Looking at her gently .

And damned the guilt . Damned the anger and the reservations and the worry and the world.

"I would." She whispered to him already picturing a thousand words to the beat of his pounding heart beneath her ear .

She could write a whole album about him and the title would be 'conflict of the heart .'

They were all invited back to the after party and Cherrie couldn't tear herself from Auston's side . The guilt easily eased with a bottle of champagne , she took a large sip and passed the bottle to Auston. The lipstick covered tip pressing against his lips as he took a gulp and hooked his arm around her shoulders lazily .

"I can see why you like Monaco." He said down to her honestly . Looking out of the large floor to ceiling window of Charles apartment , at the beautiful night view.

Cherrie looked up at him with a small smile "it's nice isn't it?" She replied . Taking a bother sip from the bottle as they passed it back and forth.

Auston hummed , chewing on his cheek as he hesitated before saying "but it's not Toronto is it?" In what felt like a statement but came out as more of an insecure question instead .

And Cherrie knew what he was asking.  And she was drunk enough to push aside the guilt and sigh in agreement "yeah. It's not Toronto. It's too different worlds. One is beautiful and sweet and easy to navigate and the other is ...the other is rugged around the edges , big and ..and scary." She muttered while swallowing .

He looked down at her with a slight frown "scary?" I'm scary? Is what he didn't say.

She nodded slightly , no longer looking at him.

"Yeah , terrifying really.  especially when you've only been used to Monaco. Toronto can be ..can be intimidating ya know? It's a lot different and a lot less ..secure." She admitted to him lowly .

"And that's what you want? Security?" His question was quiet as though he was finally understanding where her worries lied.

Charles was secure for her. He wasn't . He swallowed.

"Yeah." She nodded her head gently "what girl doesn't?"

It was quite for a moment before Auston finally found the courage to speak up again. "But you like it right? You -" he exhaled long and hard "you like Toronto? Think it's fun and something yeah?"

She let out a laugh "yeah it's something alright , pretty cool sometimes I guess." She said.

"You could get used to it?"

"Maybe."

And they both missed the way pierre was watching them closely , a frown on his face as he watched the way Auston smiled down at her . His arm never leaving her shoulder as they whispered between each other , as though the rest of the party didn't exist to them.

Pierre finally caught up to her when she was about to leave with Auston back to his hotel , making the excuse that he was drunk and wanted to make sure he got back safely . Everyone bought it but Pierre.

"What are you doing Cherrie?" He asked her quietly while Auston called them a cab.

She swallowed in surprise , looking at him with wide eyes. "What do you mean? I'm just helping aus back to his hotel." She responded quickly.

Pierre shook his head at her in disappointment and her stomach felt heavy. "That's not what your doing , I saw the way he was looking at you. What's going on?" He demanded to know. Charles was his best friend after all, he didn't want him getting hurt .

"Nothing is going on pierre! Don't be silly." She let out a strained laugh and took a step away from him, the guilt hitting her full force now. The haze that she got from Auston finally lifting as she faced reality that maybe she wasn't as subtle as she thought she was.

Auston was already looking at them and Cherrie took a step towards him , wanting to leave . Pierre saw the way they gravitated towards each other and shook his head in disbelief .

"He loves you Cherrie." Was all he told her with a serious look on his face "he'll give you forever." It was a sickly reminder at what she was going to lose if she wasn't careful.

Her voice trembled as she relied "and I love him." But this time she wasn't sure just who she was talking about .

She turned away before he could say anything else and pushed Auston into the cab, shaking her head at him when he opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't Auston . Just don't." It was a quite ride back to the hotel.

But she lets him kiss her when they get to his room, let's him take her clothes off gently and lets his kisses turn soft and his movements slow and he fucked her gently and slowly , like he was trying to prove something to her .

And she came with tears in her eyes and droplets of salt on her chest as Auston bowed his head and sniffled as though he knew .

Wrapping the cover around her naked , trembling body she watched as Auston sat at the edge of the bed, quite and back tense . A tension filling the room despite what they had just done.

She knew she had to be the one to break it this time. Pierre's words echoing in her head as guilt finally hit home.

"He loves me Auston ." She told him quietly , voice trembling with fear almost . So many emotions hitting her at once.

And Auston just let out a sad laugh , turning his head to look at her over his shoulder . "And what about what you want baby? What about that?" He responded firmly .

But Cherrie just stubbornly  shook her head "I do love him."

He scoffed incredulously "really? Cause I don't think you do baby. I think you love the idea of him and the life that he can give you. The stability of Charles is what you love." He told her meaning it. Knowing it was true .

But it only angered her "and you know everything  about me do you? You think you know me?!" Her voice rose as panic and anxiety , guilt and shame and pain crept up on her .

Auston let out another weak laugh "yeah, I think I do! And I think you're scared to admit that what you want isn't what you thought you wanted after all."

She let out a mean Scoff  "and what? You think I want you?" It was supposed to be cruel , but instead it just come out as a weak whisper .

And Auston nodded his head softly "I do. Because I want you too. And I -" he swallowed around the ball rising in his throat as he got to his feet and put his clothes back on.

"I understand why you're scared. I am too-"

She let out a slightly crazed sound from her lips , staring up at him with wide tearful eyes "you're scared? What do you have to lose?! If I lose Charles I lose everything  Auston! I lose love, I lose friends and my future-"

"But you'll have me! You'll have our friends and our future-"

"You don't know that-"

"I do Cherrie! I fucking do because I love you!" He screamed at her and the room fell silent . And Auston could only let out a weak , Pathetic laugh when she just looked at him, crying silently on the bed .

"Ain't that the worst thing you've ever heard?" He tried to joke.

But Cherrie quickly shook her head in panic "you don't love me Auston -you wouldn't want me forever-"

He let out a Frustrated groan at her refusal to admit what he already knew .

"yes I fucking do! If I could marry you right now just to prove my love for you I would Cherrie! But you won't let me. Because you're scared!" He shouted down to her .

On the verge of tears himself  because he could feel what was coming , and his bag had never been unpacked because he knew there was only two ways this trip could end .

She was sobbing now , staring up at him with wide eyes full of tears . Heart breaking in her chest.

"He's depending on me Auston! I promised him!" She cried.

He shook his head angrily at her "you already broke that promise months ago Cherrie ." He looked at her pleadingly

"Tell me to stay baby, please." His voice cracked.

Silence "please baby. I need you."

The silence was painful and Auston swallowed hard and backed away towards where his bag was packed near the door.

"I'm sorry." She whispered to him brokenly .

Auston could only shake his head in pain. Unable to look at her anymore , his heart breaking in his chest .

He left.

She didn't ask him to stay.

But she wanted him to.

And it should have been easy , it should have been simply to put the past behind her. To move on and focus on what she had. But life was never that fucking easy.

Because a few weeks later Cherrie found herself staring down at a positive pregnancy test while Charles made them dinner .

16 week it read . And she knew , of course she fucking did.

Because 16 weeks ago Charles had been away for two months racing, it couldn't be his. Plus they always used protection.

But she and Auston didn't . Turns out the first time really did stick both physically and emotionally it seemed.

She was crying silently when she FaceTimed Lucy , her best friend in shock as she silently showed her the test. Hiccuping and trying to keep quite so Charles wouldn't hear her panic.

"No fucking way. Are we happy? Are we sad?" Lucy doesn't know what to say as she looked at her best friend silently sobbing with heartbreak written across her face .

She tried to wave off Mitch who was listening in from the couch as soon as he heard her say cherries name .

He knew all about what had happened be tween her and Auston , having been the one who comforted him when he arrived back home in tears admitting to him what had happened .

"God , not happy then." Lucy realised with a wince "are you okay? Do you need me to fly out?"

Cherrie whimpered "I fucked up so bad." She cried.

Lucy tried to make her feel better "I know it's scary but a baby could be a good thing-"

"No." She sniffled and shook her head "not the baby. It's - " because she could tell her that it wasn't Charles , Mitch had shot up from the couch with a loud gasp.

"Baby?!" He exclaimed in shock as he looked at the phone , straight at a wide eyed crying Cherrie.

"You're pregnant?!" His stomach dropped.

Cherrie avoided the camera "Mitch please-"

"Is it his Cherrie?" For the first time in a long time Mitch's voice was hard as he asked her. "Is it Auston's?"

Lucy gasped and almost collapsed in shock looking between the two ,  speechless at what she was hearing  .

And Cherrie could only cry harder . He got his answer and Mitch hung up the phone .

After that terrible phone call , she tried to pretend that everything was okay. She wiped away her tears , hid the test and ate dinner with Charles like everything was okay when it definitely was not.

And she should have known that it couldn't be easy because not even a couple of hours later , there was banging at her front door.

Charles looked over at her curiously "you expecting someone?" He asked her already walking over to the door to answer .

Cherrie could only freeze , heart in her mouth as he swung open the door. Having a feeling she already knew who was behind it.

And she was right . Because there was a panting Auston shoving past her boyfriend , looking at her with hope and fear and so many fucking emotions , ignoring Charles loud 'what the fuck?'

He only looked at Cherrie. "Is it true?" He wanted to know. And despite the excitement , the fear and hope on his face . His voice was calm. Too calm.

She swallowed . Eyes darting over to her confused boyfriend looking between them warily .

"What's going on? Why is he here?" He asked her concerned .  His stomach dropping as he recalled something pierre had told him a few weeks ago.

'Auston and Cherrie ..they're close aren't they?' He had said to him. And Charles had just obliviously agreed. 'You should be careful mate , he has a look in his eyes when he sees her .' But he had ignored it, marking him off as delusional .

But now. Now he wasn't so sure. Because his

Girlfriend look terrified and Auston looked , well , he was looking at her with a certain look in his eye just like Pierre had said.

Auston still didn't look away from Cherrie as he spoke calmly "yeah Cherrie , why don't you tell him why I'm here?"

Cherie felt like she was going to pass out "Charles-" she looked at him pleadingly and he felt sick.

He quickly shook his head glaring at her "no. I'm not leaving , tell me what the fuck is going on?!" He shouted at them in panic .

Silence . Horrible , tense, sickly silence and then

"I'm so sorry Charles.."

"No.." he breathed out hands coming up to clutch at his face "no. No. No. 'No ..."

Auston finally looked at him and feels a pinch of guilt hit him as he watched the drivers heart break.

He swallowed "look man- I'm sorry but-"

"No!" Charles laughed manically , looking at him with wide eyes . Looking between the both of them "there's no way! No. I don't believe it!" He denied tears in his eyes.

Cherrie was close to crying, Auston frowned.

"You want to me to kiss her in front of you then to prove it?" It slipped out before he could stop himself.

Cherrie looked at him in disbelief "Auston!" She hissed at him angrily.

Charles heaved a breath , crying. "Cherrie?" His voice cracked as he looked at her pleadingly and she had never felt like a worse human being than then.

He didn't deserve any of this. She hated herself for it but she couldn't change the past now. It was too late, Auston was right, she had already broke her promise to him.

The least she could do was admit what she had done.

"I'm sorry Charles I never meant for it to happen." She told him sniffling , meaning it. She never saw it coming and she'd never be the same.

"I loved you." Was all he choked out before spinning to face Auston , gritting his teeth angrily "and you! You made me fly you out to surprise my girlfriend just so you could fuck her right under my nose?!"

Auston winced In guilt "look man-"

Cherrie let out a short scream of shock as she watches her usually sweet , non violent boyfriend punch Auston straight in his nose . Auston barely moving but taking the hit , hissing a little as blood dripped down his nose.

"Okay." He nodded as he wiped away the blood there , tongue in cheek "I deserved that." He didn't get to say anything else before Charles was gone .

Leaving him with a crying and furious Cherrie looking at him like she might hit him as well.

"What are you doing here?" She sniffled.

He gave her a look, let her grab a cloth and wipe away the blood from his face .

He swallowed "you know why I'm here. Is it true? Are you pregnant?" He wanted to know.

Cherrie just sighed tearfully and nodded her head in defeat . "Yeah it's true . Sixteen weeks." She murmured to him as she cleaned his nose.

He exhaled shakily "first time stuck?"

"Stuck like a nasty hockey player who wouldn't leave me alone." She muttered sniffling.

He smiled a little at that. Then he cleared his throat and took her hands in his , making her look at him.

His own eyes filled with tears as he realised that his life was going to change , just like he had wanted it too.

And yeah, he was scared shitless . I mean a baby? He had thought he'd have one in at least a couple years time. But he couldn't bring himself  to be upset about it.

I mean it was going to be his and cherries baby and what a hell of a story that would be.

And despite it all, he was happy . Because he was getting his chance.

"I'm sorry it happened this way baby." He told her honestly wishing it could have been simpler , but life was never easy. "But it's us yeah? Don't think there's such a thing as a simple between us."

She laughed a little at that. Squeezing his hands gently . "Yeah. I suppose. And a baby.."

"And a baby." He confirmed with a grin stroking her hair away from her tearful face , he nudged his sore nose with hers gently .

"I meant every word I said ya know? I love you. You drive me fucking crazy and I want to stay." His eyes looked between hers hopefully .

"will you let me stay? Please? I promise you won't regret it. Won't regret me." He pleaded.

And Cherrie just , she let go and she did what felt right  for once . She didn't worry about the future because the future was standing right in front of her promising her that he would stay if she let him.

And that was enough stability for her.

"Stay." She whispered to him softly and watch his whole body relax , a tearful laugh slipping from his lips as he pulled closer "stay with me. I want Toronto to be my home." She said. And she meant it.

"Still scared?"

"Terrified."

"Me too."

"Auston?" She spoke softly .

"Yeah?" He kissed her again. She smiled against his teeth.

"I love you." She promised . "Take me home?"

He smiled so bright she felt the light slip through the cracks and she smiled too.

"Always."

[augustrambles]

Aged up obviously Wendy x fem reader. Wendy had her first time w stan it was just really disappointing, like very rushed, Stan didn’t care abt her, and poor girl didn’t finish. :,) Wendy tells reader, her bsf, abt the experience and reader feels bad and offers so “help”. Lots of foreplay which leads to reader giving wendy gooood head 👍 I’m a sapphic advocate 🫡 get these stinky men outa here

A/N: I LOVE WENDY I LIVE WENDY I LAUGH WENDY I <3 WENDY YES YES GO SAPPHICS GO SAPPHICS GO ❗

listening to lovers rock while writing fanfics >>

wendy testaburger x fem!reader [highschool]

warnings: cheating, nsfw, eating out or cunnilingus however u call it, sheher pronouns, implied misogyny

"you might not be my first time, but i know you'll be my best time."

WENDY TESTABURGER. 3RD person.

bebe looked at wendy with gossip filled eyes. "soo? how did it go with you and stan doing ykwhat?" she smirked, the room filling up with giggles. "...not good." wendy replied. "he didn't really take much care of me. didnt even get to finish actually, he just.. u-used me." she started to tear up.

"sweetheart! how dare that man treat you like that?! piece of shit." [name] went up to hug her while wendy cried, the girls were also comforting wendy with comforting words. "how DARE that asshole just use you? i'm gonna have a serious talk with that dick." bebe said furiously. "yeah same here!!" "me too!"

as the girls left one by one, [name] continued hugging wendy. "darling i'm so sorry that happened to you." she said, wiping wendy's tears while continuing to comfort her. at some point, wendy stopped crying. "it's just.. he was my first time. i wanted it to be special, y-you know?" she stuttered.

"fuck him, wendy. i could totally show you a better time." [name] said, being physically annoyed at stan. "ye- wait what?" wendy said, looking at her best friend. "i said what i said, i could show you a way better time than that dick head!" she said, confidently.

"i-i'd like that." she stuttered, but this time because she was blushing slightly. "r-really? you sure?" [name] looked for reassurance. she nodded. "yeah. i'm too pent up 'cause stan treated me so horribly."

[name] grabbed wendy's cheek, her nails tracing over the other's facial features, she smiled, blushing as wendy saw her with a open-mouthed expression, as if she realized something. [name] then kissed her on the nose, and then on the lips. that moment was so special for the both of them. butterflies flew through eachother's stomach. as their mouths parted, they stood up. "you wanna go upstairs?" wendy asked, blushing still as [name]'s cheeks were also as red as ever. "yeah, sure." she replied.

. . .

as wendy laid on the bed, [name] held her tight. "i promise you, wendy, i'll treat you right." wendy fell at ease with her words. [name] made out with her and they slowly removed their clothing. as the clothes got on the floor, they stopped kissing. on the lips at least, [name] started to kiss wendy's body, whispering praise loud for her to hear. "such a beautiful woman, i'll take care of all your needs, like you deserve it, darling."

she smiled so hard at [name]'s praises. "could i?" [name] asked, looking at wendy while having her face between wendy's thighs. "yeah, do anything you want." wendy smiled, feeling good. [name] started licking wendy's womanhood slowly, feeling nice as she heard wendy feel the pleasure she deserved. [name] felt wendy tugging her hair, she smiled as she continued, going faster.

"mmm.. [name], y-you're so good at this, aah!" she moaned, groping her tits for comfort as her head threw back. [name] smiled at wendy praising her. "g-go faster!" she yelled as she tugged [name]'s hair harder, [name] complied and did as requested.

"i-i'm gonna c-cumm!" she yelled, as [name] didn't stop, resulting in her face being filled with wendy's cum. she started wiping it off and licking it. wendy felt so nice, "hold on, lemme wash my face." [name] said as she walked into the bathroom which was in the bedroom. wendy lifted the blanket to cover herself up, feeling cold due to the air touching her nude body.

[name] walked back in, lying down wendy as well. wendy looked at [name] with a confusing face. "aren't you going to ask for anything..?" she asked. [name] said no with her head. "no, silly. this night is for you, and you only. i wanna focus on your desires, plus i'm fine." she said, as wendy felt tears prick from her eyes. she hugged [name] tightly, as if she would dissapear if she let go. "i love you so much, [name]." she said. [name] kissed her on the head. "i love you more, my love."

[potatoqueensays]

hey u shoudl iek,,,, tootally tlak about that reverve falls au rehash you said you were amking,...... for like.,.,,, totally no reason,,,,,,, yeah,,,,,,,,, dont mind the voice recorder dont mind it im not the fbi wdym we;re in an interrogation room what gaslighting isnt a thing ure tripping anyways

HI!!! HI HI HI!!!! ANON HELLO!!!!

...So yes!!! I am working on a teensy weensy little rehashing of the Reverse Falls au. I'm sure as we all know, the original is a bit....outdated so to say. What with suspicious art and some questionable decisions here and there.

I'm not saying mine is better! No way no how, I'm absolutely sure there's a bunch of people out there with something better. This is just a little thing I'm working on with a friend of mine ( @danklemckspankle ) and how we would imagine a reverse falls au. Rather than it being low-key swapping personalities, it swaps roles as it should. And I'd like to think the premise is exciting as well! It makes me very very happy to talk about it as it's been plaguing my mind for a week or two. Tbh ever since book of bill came out....

So!! Lemme talk about it a little!!! I hope you're ready for a little mystery wink wink

Ahem. So! Our little story starts in a little shack called "The Shack of Telepathy"!! (So original yeah I know)

Bud Gleeful is the shack owner, living as a single father with his son Gideon Gleeful. Bud makes money by being a tourist trap, grabbing people in under the premise of reading their minds! (Gravity falls people are just easy to read but shhh don't tell Toby)

Gideon is a little 9 year old with a heart of gold and full of promise. It's a new summer in Gravity Falls and he has big plans! He wants to have the best adventure he can, and hopefully get a new badge on his vest!!

Yes, this little guy wants to be a boy scout!! Unfortunately, there is no chapter in Gravity Falls, so he's gonna have to make one himself!

Here's my little drawing ref of Gideon. Look at him, he's so squishable

With his dad's pin machine, he makes badges whenever he does something good or a big accomplishment! (His pride and joy badge is the one he made with his dad on Father's Day :] )

He really wants to have a good summer. He hopes, by golly, he hopes.

Now a neighborhood down, is town darling Pacifica Northwest. Her family isn't as rich in this as canon, so her family sits as upper middle class at most. Modern suburbia yk? Her family wants to set an example for the people of Gravity Falls, taming the weirdness out or whatever they say.

Pacifica just wants a summer where she can have a little relief. Away from the eye of her parents and the public. Just one day where she can be herself!

Little drawing ref of Pacifica. She still wears a bunch of makeup. (Just....maybe one less powdering. Maybe.) Also she's 12.

So she goes walking in town while her parents are busy planning their big weekly barbeque or whatever. She comes across this kid named Gideon. He compliments her sense of style and makes an offhanded comment about making a badge or something.

Now Pacifica, despite however much her parents influence her, starts her own trends and styles. (With the permission of her parents) So when this kid compliments her she goes on a (grateful) rant and they hit it off!

Gideon tells her about his dad's shack, and all the business business business Bud does. Pacifica talks about her parents planning events every week and, begrudgingly, church. They scurry off into the woods to just explore, and be kids!

On their way as Gideon is messing around with nature, they come across this metal tree. Weird, huh. They do some digging around and press buttons, when a crater opens in the ground!! Pacifica goes to check it out, pushing Gideon back in case of danger.

What they see is a journal! Very dusty and cobwebbed, but a journal with the number 3 painted on it. They pick it up and peruse through it. Pacifica is skeptical at first, wondering if it's part of any tourist trap Gideon's dad planned. When Gid says no, they realize the journal mayyyy have some merit. With how weird Gravity Falls is all the time and the little things that happen here and there, the author of this journal could be telling the truth.

So when they go back to the shack, the talk about the journal and what it could mean.

Now I haven't planned too far ahead to make a full writing of each episode, barely even the pilot, but! This is the gist of it in my head.

As you know, yes I mentioned Ford was evil! And I'm keeping a little of the previous reverse falls lore for this (surrounding the pines. Other things will be different!)

Maybe I'll make a post talking about the pines, but y'know. I just wanna talk about the general feeling I have for it in my head.

Have a bonus doodle of Gideon reading the journal (for an author who doesn't deserve it)

I'm very excited to work on this. Mayyyybe I'll share a bit of the roles with you that are swapped. Juuuust to keep interest ;)

Bud -> Stan

Stan -> Mixture of Pacifica and Gid's parents

Pacifica & Gideon -> The mystery twins ofc

Wendy -> Robbie

Soos -> Dude he's just himself here. Soos is perfection and cannot be interchanged (he goes undercover for Stan and works at the shack every other day. Undercover name is Deuce because of that one guy that looked like him 👍)

Shitty discord whiteboard sketch of Soos :]

Ford -> Bill tbh. How else is he gonna be so evil?

I'll probs make another post talking about the pines family, but I'd like to make colored refs of them first y'know?

I hope this catches your interest. Other characters are reeeeally integral to the plot and I'd like to keep the mystery just for a little moment 💥💥

Anyway ty for asking I'm so very happy to share this with someone that's not already aware of it 🎉🎉

[zomzomwritingwhileeating]

THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MITSURI HEAD CANONS AND I FEEL THAT IS AN ABSOLUTE CRIME. A SHAME.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚Mitsuri Kanroji Body Head Canons+Random HC's˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

HOOOO BOY

So for starters, my girl is chubby. Not pudgy, no, no, no. Chubby.

You're telling me that this woman can pack down plates on plates of food and not gain anything? Anything at all???

Idc about her metabolism, that woman is chubby and you can pry that out of my cold, dead hands.

She is so soft, like pillow.

Mitsuri screams the type of girl who pouts about her thighs in thigh highs (the little muffin tops <3)

Screaming.

She absolutely had issues with her weight in the past, insecure about her stretch marks and the moles on her body because it was "imperfect".

It took a lot to love the body she has, she still probably struggles with it but is definitely better

Also she's absolutely pink-toned. Like fleshy pink tones.

OH SHE ABSOLUTELY HAS MORE MOLES ALL AROUND HER BODY

I like to think she has one on her thigh, one on her shoulder and hand and a few scattered around like star dust

She would paint her nails, not any bright colors but a subtle clear gloss

And makeup. Screams the type to just do natural make-up.

She loves it when you hold her from behind, or you let her lift you up.

Girly is strong under that chub.

Like Kyojuro, she's an absolute heater in the winter. Like furnace/fireplace warm.

Her entire face gets warm when she blushes.

I feel like Mitsuri would overheat in the summer, like heat wave bad, often needing to cool down under some shade or take plenty water brakes.

Naturally long eyelashes. I do not make the rules.

I feel like she's pretty pale, like not paper white but an off white.

Bruises easily, not as much as Shinobu but she's definitely covered in em.

ALSO SCARS

She would be so insecure of them at first, but would eventually grow to like them with a little help from her comrades.

She loves being taller than her lover, no clue why but it makes her so happy.

Also, gives tiddy hugs, bear hugs and is just a nice hugger.

She wants the person she's hugging to feel safe in her arms, so she sometimes squeezes too tight (rip to your back...)

Back to the boobs

Sometimes she doesn't even realise it, and she gets so embarrassed when she does!

(Subconsciously learned it from Kyojuro. It's comforting)

Thick hair, like yes we see how it is braided but it's so thick that it takes forever to wash and longer to dry.

Naturally a little curly. I don't make the rules.

Oh and she's got a chubby face, like round/circle shaped.

And plump lips (pls bbg just lemme kiss u </3)

[liaa--qb]

do you think that team black Stans takes this hotd war topic too much And They are very much hypocrite ?? I was new in this fandom and stand with team black. I hate to say this many of them spoil whole fun on Twitter debate.I have seen their jealousy alot at Aemond getting more attention than some of their characters by audience.They made stories about him like he r@ped Alys.They would have hated daeron if he was there since first season lmao. What's your take on team black stans. Don't mistake me as a Aemond wife. I am against team green but admitting I kinda liked his character only as villian. Helaena is the only person I love in team green

EXACTLY ! This..... EXACTLY this.. see firstly m not a team supporter or stan here. I am just enjoying d show till it's tolerable😅. I just want a good show dat's it. I am not on Twitter thankfully, I am well aware what goes on there n you can hate Aemond all u want. He's a villian ofcourse 🙏🏻

Fire and blood was boring but show has chance to be better atleast though if they ever want to try😑... Regarding ur take , it's gonna be bit long now as I don't do this long stuff unless it's a fic😭

lemme tell the truth now.... ik many dumb ones are not gonna like it 😂

yes there are majority of hypocrite team black Stans who would make up these bullshits mainly with Aemond like "they gave Jace's qualities to Aemond, Aemond r*ped Alys". Jace's one was the most random 😂

bitch... like where you thought after reading the book n watching show that they gave Jace's qualities to Aemond 💀😭 ??? Where... I read the book too😂. My friends who actually introduced me to hotd who are book purists too , even they laughed on this theory when I told them.

" Jace and Aegon were adapted exactly the way they were in the books ! " It's a fact Listen I love Tom Glynn Carney too (like how can you not🥵) but sorry to those Aegon girlies who were just saying that they forcefully made Aegon a r*pist. He was like this in the book very much. They both were shown correctly how they should have been in s1.

Both green and blacks were given some good and bad shots equally in show. Bad n good shots for God's sake doesn't mean one is Angel and other one being devil. It's about writing or storyline regarding both teams. N this whole jealousy or hypocrisy towards Aemond of some team black stans is nothing but a childish stupidity to me and it's obvious that Aemond would get alot attention in show than many N y not ? 🤦🏻‍♀️

[ top 3 characters from both teams will get attention. Show will be divided into two teams from Team black it's Rhaenyra, Daemon , Colrys n (someone with corlys) who would be focused more N from team Green it would Alicent, Aegon, Aemond. Majority of Attention would be given to Rhaenyra, Alicent n Aegon as they are main 3 . It should be very much clear to every person who read the book , to me it was as I read only after watching the S1 trailer. Wasn't this very much obvious in the book. ]

Also Aemond never r*ped or assaulted Alys in the book. We never got inside of their relationship in book. He can in the show though🤷🏻‍♀️.... if makers want to. He took her as war prize which was very much common for every guy winning war.

Honestly Alys was far yrs older fucking powerful witch😭 she would eat Aemond alive be fr if she wanted to. She would have killed him way easily in starting itself . Yes there relationship was problematic n it was power imbalance both sides. They both were using each other. Aemond was clearly under her spell or either for her powers and so was Alys. Who was taking her best from Aemond's position whatever she could get from both sides.

If Grrm lit wanted to show that Aemond r*ped Alys he would have done it very well like he does this with his all other characters who were actually r@pists but he didn't. On the contrary side he wrote Aemond as evil goth twink who never wanted to scare the ladies at court n wore eye patch bcz of that😂. Same guy was making out with his floris and fell hard under spell of strong bastard witch calling her 'my lady !'

Let me clear that also Aemond not being a r@pist doesn't make him a less bad person either. He was a sadist tyrant n murderer psychopath in book. This is what made him a villian or bad guy. But the problem with some team black Stans is that they knew that audience will start giving him the ' typical Kylo ren' treatment which he's getting. ( Idk how one cannot see this coming after reading dance of d in FNB, it was very much predicted I knew it). They don't want to give any good points to any team green characters in their silly game. Like as if audience don't hype bad guys more than good guys😑.

Same way when same audience hyped Daemon more than Harwin then they don't have any problem but if audience likes Aemond n Daeron more than team black kids then their ass hate to see this n would write whole new made up reasons for not to like any team green member while cheering any other character which they like for same thing.

Funny thing is that many team black daemon lovers would write how he was right man, he killed all r*pist from city while this is the same daemon who fucks literally little girls who are prostitutes n loves it which is very much written in book. Ofcourse mysaria was with him since her childhood. As prostitutes have no other options. Taking prince like daemon and Aegon was better for their survival.

He is canon p*dophile in book but yes if Aemond is r@pist then Daemon's account of doing r@pe is way higher than Aemond even before when Aemond was born. Now why would those black Stans admit this ? 😂 never....... Believe me when I say that some of them are that level of jokers who would say that Maegor is good and daeron is bad just because he is from team green.

I really like daemon too n daemon had his bad qualities n good qualities both 🧡atleast I like the way he is . It clearly shows that some Stans they cannot even like or hate the character for what they are. They are dumbass kids watching some cartoon fight with two team. They just want to hate one team for any reason n like other team for any random reason

Mind you....many of them even hate Helaena unnecessary but same time would love Laena and for what ????🤡🤡

what I hated regarding Aemond in show :-

now things I accept that Aemond not killing Luce was very much wrong and I hated that too. Because it was not good for plot tbh for me. It's just messing up with already messed up world building. Aemond as a villian got a very much reason to Luce n y should he not ? now that's thing I genuinely think that was done wrong regarding Aemond's character, people hating it is very much justified because it very much makes luc's death stupid rather than sad.

But making up reasons like they gave everything to Aemond like they didn't made Aemond totally bad during drift mark scene as we get sympathy for rhaena n we understood her reason for being angry on Aemond atleast n Aemond insulting her. but in books it's lit Nyra's kids who were not minding their own business n Aemond was just beating them n throwing them far away from him instead of killing them with rock like in the show but ofcourse this wasn't visible to team black Stans. Because in the book honestly Aemond was very much correct during drift mark scene.

They removed viserys's taunting Aemond regarding dragon which was very important.

They showed Harwin beating Criston but we all know it was Criston who took both Harwin and Daemon easily and so many of I started to count regarding team green were done equally wrong.

just see the dumbness and hyporcrisy I once saw Darkling and rhys Stans saying bullshit about Aegon and Aemond 😂😂. Same Darkling who physically assaulted Alina, abused her. The one who gave little girls like Genya to get r@ped by the old hag king for his benefit n

the way LB wrote him I can very say that she hated him as well. And Rhys is whole another level bullshit 😂if started to write. They were not even a good written bad guys. These same idiots would typing whole ass reasons to like them. It's funny that Darkling supporters would hate Otto hightower as if they aren't the same thing 🤣. Otto slays more as compared Darkling.

many of them pretend to care about representation saying that 'Jace should not have Sara n it would hurt baela n would make her unwanted ' while same time giving thousand reasons of there was nothing bet Nettles and Daemon so that it would not harm their Daemyra. So many of them were happy when there wasn't any news regarding nettles. ( It's not only team black , many of team green stans r equally hypocrite here you asked me of team black )

[slothpower-central]

Rolling out the Red Carpet for the Cinema branch!!

Hello,hi, it's me that one person who makes the funny videos and thinks she can draw(she cannot) Inspiration hit me in the middle of my film studies course while watching Vertigo by Alfred Hitchcock and I thought "what if I made my own LCB branch where every sinner is based on a movie I've watched in my film class (and just general classic Hollywood cinema) and so I did it! The branch is currently VERY unfinished,as I add a new sinner each week for every film we watch in the class,so lemme introduce you to the guys that I've at least doodled so far(awful art incoming lol)

First up,we need a manager,or should I say,director(get it, because it's based on movies?) anyway here's Dorothy! If it wasn't obvious, she's based on the Wizard of Oz,She may or may not have come from the Outskirts and now she's running around with these sinners,and her little dog too! Oh and her red slippers(boots now,IG lol)? Those have a use, clicking her heels 3 times allows her to bring her sinners back to life!

Our guide is Glinda! Also based on Wizard of Oz,I have....not drawn her yet! But she is ultra hands off,she mainly communicates by sending Dorothy letters in bubbles,oh and did I mention she's a color fixer? ...yea I probably should have started with that

Now onto our actual sinners, don't ask me about major plot details about them,I haven't worked it out yet,

Sinner #1,This is Chaplin! Based on Modern Times by Charlie Chaplin,this guy is more of a fusion of the two main characters of the movie since uhm...neither of them have names and frankly their stories are both so intertwined that You could easily mix them together so here we are. They are the most comical of the sinners,I have described them as having a lot of cat like behaviors to a degree, and they are selectively mute(silent film lol) They have a white board they write on like it's Lethal Company and they have Heelys(mainly for the funny)

I haven't uhm.....finished sinner #2 yet because everytime I try to draw him my art style makes him look like the Pringles mascot lol but it's Kane! Kane is based on Charles Foster Kane from Citizen Kane by Orson Welles! Right now currently he's like "god I'm in a company of all women...AND CHAPLIN" He's rich like....richer than Hong Lu rich,he does seem to offhandedly mention something Rosebud and it seems almost like he's searching for it...wonder what that could be?(Btw go watch Citizen Kane, I'm not telling you what Rosebud is)

Finally out last Sinner at the moment: Sinner #3 Judy based on Judy from Vertigo! Yessir this is the reason for the branch, her source got my imagination spinning (she may or may not be mine and Amia's favorite atm of the branch) I would have made Scottie a sinner but......I hate his ass and need him exploded and not in the cute way(JUDYYYYYY YOU DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER GIRLLL) Judy is also 20x more fun as a character than Mr. "I'm gonna stare at women for 70% of my screentime" Honestly I could gush so much about her but I won't to keep this brief... essentially by the end of Vertigo Scottie convinces her to change everything about herself to turn her into his lost love/obsession Madeleine (ai know there's more too it but uhm....Go watch Vertigo, I'm not spoiling the movie)[PS, Ignore the doodle in the corner, that was from an idea that Amia's OC Tessie and Judy would get along well]

Tomorrow we'll actually have Sinner #4 who's gonna be based on someone from the movie Sunset Boulevard ( I don't pre watch these bc my attention span actually increases so much when I analyze movies for Limbus)

Anyway I'll keep updating you on the Cinema branch their tag is "LCB Cinema Branch" if you want everything in one place oh! And feel free to draw my lil guys if u want,just @ me or tag me or something. uhm don't ask about their weapons or colors or anything I haven't thought that far ahead yet lol

[clockworkcheetah]

*shaking your shoulders* hiiiii tell me everything about your thought process behind writing your incredible bangfic the bad dog nerves, inspiration characters writing EVERYTHING it's so good tell us more

hiii getting to talk about my creations!!! ahhh

ok so cause its been a couple of months and my memory is nothingness aka im a little hazy on some stuff. buuuuuut i distinctly remember several things that heavily inspired TBDN im just gonna run my thoughts as they come so i apologise if its incoherent. i am also putting this under a readmore for the sake of everyone. and because spoilers for the fic

first inspo was deathmark2 cause it got its english translation earlier this year (i love deathmark but ill say everytime i talk of it its very difficult to recommend cause it needs so many content warnings). im very much the kinda person who can and will mash fandoms together- ill make those parallels. god cant stop me. basically dm is what got the ball rolling for me- spirits and possession and influenced moods. its only inspired pretty loosely by dm- very much the general concept/brainrot for both fandoms kinda deal. also more horror elements in dghda yes pls

another thing that inspired it was the doctor who ep 'midnight'. that ep was chilling- i think about how you can tell ten is fully awake and aware during his possession and it stuck with me- a+ acting from david. its a fear of mine being fully awake/aware whilst having no control of your body/immobilised and you cant do anything but wait for the inevitable. granted todd leaned more towards anger, or like the five stages of grief, than fear. but that felt more him also cause it went on longer than a few hours (or rather he expresses his fear through anger/lashing out) but i wanted that ugly rawness of it- hes nervous like a bad dog ay ayyyyyyy

(i sorta wish i went harder with it at the end with his scene with dirk, but alas he was burnt out and healing)

also tbh i just love scenes like that in media too. the character is right there! its so close and nobody is helping them so they gotta save their own ass and be a bitch about it

also i just kinda wanted more fics where dirk just fucks up?? like theres no hoops being jumped through to make what he said right (im not exactly a fan of this fanon!dirk where hes this saint who does no wrong/is always right/everyone else is to blame) so that was a goal in mind when writing this- dirk mostly, but also amanda to an extent of being wrong (not like in some horrible malicious way just. you made a bad call. u gotta live with it). also why todd was quicker to forgive farah (or at least be on better terms with her than the others- i really wish i included a convo between them aw well) granted these arent really specific to this fic- i like to have it in other fics, i need those two to fuck up. as well as todd getting to be angry/upset without this notion that he cant cause he did bad things therefore can only be bad, undeserving person forever cause thats how it works obviously (look if i wanted content of todd fucking up id watch the show lemme have something else with fics- ok ill stop being salty now asdfghjkl;)

i also really wanted the aftermath of what happened to be explored (i love the concept of possession/mindcontrol but shows kinda brush it off after the character is freed. like??? youre telling theyre all sunshine and fine now??? no way, theres gonna be a recovery period. aka todds body being weak from literally having zero nutrients, miru not taking care of the body, also learning to have control of his own body again

with the characters or i guess specifically project miru, she wasnt inspired by anything specific. i really like tragic but unsympathetic characters in media so wanted to have a try at it, and to explore the whole riggins' favouritism towards dirk and how the other projects may have felt. idk how well i pulled it off but i had fun writing her interactions with todd even if it was mostly them being dicks to eachother and being a dick to everyone

ok my brain is starting to run on empty so ill close up this haha.

im sure this is universal but when i got the idea of this fic i had the immediate The Scenes™️ for it. they were: amandas confrontation and realising that oh shit it isnt todd the whole time that scene was vivid in my head (also fave scene to write!!) and the other is the final scene with dirk and todd and todd breaking down. todds kinda the 'strong' one of the two (to dirk) and the caretaker- so someone takes care of him and lets him be upset with everyone

but yeah!!! some of my thoughts behind the creation of TBDN 💖🥰🧡 theres stuff i wish i included in the fic and ideas i had after i had already posted but im happy with it regardless. at its core i just wanted some sweet sweet todd whump i wanna traumatise that little man

[erenfox]

Y'all.

Episode 4.

It's the best piece of work Marvel has made after they made IW and Endgame.

spoiler alert 🚨

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lemme start off with our favourite Miss Jolly Rancher Unhinged Clock and Victorian-Era HWR Fangirl. I KNEW Ravonna had somehow helped HWR in building the TVA, but him erasing her memories was straight up evil.

Then we come to the absolutely gruesome deaths of Dox and the others. HOLY SHIT MISS JOLLY RANCHER IS AWFUL like she was enjoying every second of Dox and her hunters literally getting crushed to their deaths. B-15 was traumatised, to say the least and you can see on Ravonna and Brad's faces a hint of disgust. But Miss Minutes grinning like that - outright disturbing.

I can't get over OB and Victor fanboying over each other's work - it was so funny yet wholesome.

Now let's talk about Loki and Sylvie. As a diehard Sylki stan you know I am, my fangirling heart was overjoyed seeing these two lovesick ducks working together willingly! I mean, yea, they did have that rather awkward talk in Pie Land (mind you that's it's official name henceforth) but after that they worked together as teammates! Now I must say, I completely agree with Sylvie on snapping on Mobius, because, well, yeah, the multiverse is a bigger priority than pie and I legit don't get why tf antis hate on Sylvie for doing so. Like you hated her for not giving a damn abt the TVA + the multiverse, but now when she stood up to do so y'all are hating on her again?? Like?? Make up ur mind, smh.

Anyways, back to Sylki. Sylvie got stuck in the elevator and the way she and Loki worriedly called out each other's names was so soft! And the "You ok?" trope CAME BACK OMG! THAT PHRASE IS LITERALLY THE BACKBONE OF SYLKI! When I tell you my fangirling heart screamed with joy omg-

The the whole paradox scene which brought Ep 1 back in a circle. I absolutely loved the way our Loki realised what he had to do and went real slow to prune his past self just so that Past Loki could get a glimpse of Sylvie; which would then lead him to be more determined than ever to go look for her. And I quite literally died on Sylvie being confused af as to wtf she just witnessed.

Then there's the telephone scene. OH MY GOD it was literally OB all this time when fans were out here speculating it was Kang or someone lmao. Both Loki and Sylvie yelling simultaneously to turn the security thing off gives out so much Couple Vibes, I absolutely loved it AAHHAHAH-

AND. THE. BRAD. SCENE. OOF.

our friendly neighbourhood lovesick ducks teaming up to enchant Brad was just too good. Loki in his hot, creepy voice luring Brad into a dark area while Sylvie very swiftly just straight up grabbing his face from the back - pure horror. Absolutely loved it, 10/10. Tho I must say, to do execute elaborate scheme, these two must have done some detailed planning (=more Sylki moments we were robbed off).

BUT THAT ENDING DUCKING MURDERED ME BROO OMG

Can we talk abt Victor's redemption? Man had been portrayed as evil since Quantumania, and has been manipulated by both Ravonna and Miss Jolly Rancher, but at the end of the day, he was a sweetheart. Man fanboys OB and basically became besties with him and Casey, worked together to create the solution to a mess he most certainly didn't want to be a part of, and then himself stepped up to fix the Loom once and for all to prove to everyone (and not let Sylvie's choice of sparing him go to waste) that tho he contained HWR's DNA, he wasn't HWR - he was a far better person HWR could have ever been. Seeing him getting spaghettified was tragically heart-wrenching, man deserved so much better :(

BUT HOLY SHIT DID THAT ONE HECK OF A GODDAMN CLIFFHANGER LEFT ME SPEECHLESS LIKE WTF WAS THAT?? U can't just kill off a character who had redeemed himself, and then make our main character and his homies watch literally EVERYTHING THEY WORKED SO HARD FOR GET ANNIHILATED TO THE GROUND-

But we know our God of Mischief isn't dead, and so are his homies eheheh.

However the looks on everyone's face was tragic. Loki knew all was lost and had tears in his eyes. Sylvie looked like she had accepted defeat and her death. Mobius and OB were in denial, refusing to believe that Victor was dead. Casey and B-15 looked horrified, as they realised what was to come now upon them.

Tldr, this episode was an ABSOLUTE BANGER. IM READY TO CLAIM IT SUPERIOR THAN ENDGAME, come and fight me. Its a top cinematic piece, and the suspense to Ep 5 is eating me up.

Ig i should go and study for the 4 tests this week before ep 5 ;-;

[spaceratprodigy]

11 24 29 dealer choice for ship I can't decide 🧡💖

@darkfire1177 — [ OTP Prompts ]

Guess what bestie, ur gonna get some Cybill/Iris!!

@grimreapersbutt answered these with me 🖤✨ thank u van ily ily

–

11. Who leaves notes in the other one's lunch? (Bonus: what do they say?)

Iris is more likely to be the one leaving notes for Cybill. Cybill can cook well, but not anything he'd ever be willing to subject Iris to.

Iris already loves to cook, travels with a pan and cooking/eating utensils, and was already showing Cybill just how much she cared about him when cooking for him and June on the road. And she only gets better as time goes on as she gets accustomed to cooking with what's available, plus later down the line when they settle and she starts her own garden at home base! Truly putting her entire heart into it.

She would be writing so many mushy gushy notes. Telling Cybill how much she loves him, adores him, every little thing about him she cherishes, how grateful she is that they met and an endless amount of thank you's for everything he's done for her. And if she's in a particularly saucy mood, I have no doubts in my mind she'd leave him something a lil spicy to chew on. And yes, she is signing every single one of those notes with a lipstick kissy.

Iris does tend to visit down the road to Sanctuary pretty often so she can visit Preston and help around the settlement, especially with rebuilding. And if Cybill stays back (they don't exactly like being separated) I can absolutely see her meal prepping for him and the babies for the day, leaving him sweet notes saying how much she's gonna miss him and how she can't wait to be back in his arms. But every now and again Cybill sneaks his own notes into her lunch before she heads out and she melts over them! She has lil mementos she takes with her everywhere she goes and anything Cybill gives her she would cherish and it'll never leave her side, I'm tellin' ya.

–

24. Sleeping/cuddling positions? (Big spoon, little spoon, etc.)?

They often like to sleep facing each other! Optimal position for spur of the moment kissing, and brother lemme tell ya, they're gonna be kissing a lot. Night time kissies before bed? Yep. Sleepy lazy morning kissies in the sunlight? You better believe it. They invented love, and they are relishing in it every moment they can. They like being close, laying on each other's chests, actual snuggle bugs. When they spoon, it is more likely for Iris to be the big spoon and Cybill to be the little spoon. It makes him feel safe, and she is already such a physical, snuggly person that being able to hold him in her arms at night and nuzzle her face into him would bring her so much comfort to know he's there, he's safe, and that she isn't alone.

Iris spends a lot of her story with bad sleep issues, often pushing herself not to sleep at all. Often out of fear, often because she has frequent nightmares. And once Cybill and June are with her, she'll never forgive herself if she fails to keep them safe. But being with Cybill eases that. She feels safe with him, comfortable, god she loves him so much. She can finally rest. Her nightmares don't haunt her like they used to. They still exist, and sometimes he'll have to help her through them. But it's better than it was.

–

29. First date? (Give as much or little detail)

So, we were thinking about their first date being them singing a duet at The Third Rail!

They get dressed up all nice like the lil romantics they are so they can have a proper date and ough it is darling.

Iris telling Cybill about how, before she met him, she used to perform occasionally with Magnolia for some caps whenever she'd stop by Goodneighbor every now and again. Something leads to another and one of them asks the other of they'd wanna sing together.

Cybill is good at singing, but Iris knows this. Him singing lullabies to June, and how lovely his voice was, was one of the earliest moments of her falling for him. I don't doubt in that time he's also heard her sing sweetly, considering how much time they've spent together by now. But he's never heard her on stage.

Cybill is gonna be so nervous to sing in front of other people, but Iris is gonna be there by his side singing with him. And once they start, their voices melt together so beautifully, their eyes are locked onto each other, they're looking so stunning, the world around them just falls away. The only thing in this moment is them. When they finish, Cybill dips Iris into such a passionate kiss, grand finale of a lifetime fr.

And if you see them holding hands and sneaking away to the backroom, don't even worry about it. Loud moans? Nope, don't hear a thing. Are they leaving, clothes disheveled, Cybill covered in smeared lipstick kisses, Iris covered in bite marks? Mind ur business.

[scoonsalicious]

Mother Pookie has fed her kitties well🩷🩷. There’s so many emotions idk which one i should talk about first?😭😂

BUT DANG chap 2.2 is just HOT

I am actually speechless😂 I have nothing to say except I am satisfied.

ITS SO GOOD OMG POOKIE? WHAT R U DOING TO ME? WHATT?!!😫😫

Lemme say, It didn’t take me long to hate Lilian. Like I swear, the moment she fucking said that Major looks like a SKANK gurl, fuck u.

My first impression on Major was like how Bucky saw her, a hot pretty dame that made me giggle like a teenager, making heart eyes and singing the whole world to my dick (if i have a dick)

And then throughout the chp, oh my goodness, I would’ve slap Leah the moment she starts bitching up. Major has a dang ass patience. I couldn’t.

THE THINGS I WOULD DO TO VOTE FOR BUCKYBABY TO BREAK HER HEART IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE (so far she’s 35% in my ‘dead’ list, better fix ur attitude if u don wanna end up like cunthage — ITS JUST BEEN 2 CHP?!)

Lindsay rubs the ick on me more than Jade (ofc Jade is worse but she dead now) but cuntly is so so so so so so so so so irritating. The absolute pick me, so called ‘one of the guys’. Ew. Even half of the team is irked by her attitude. That just says a lot.

Glad that our queen Major put her in her place. She needs more. Like, absolute humiliation (disclaimer: i dont support bullying but LILIAN FUCKING NEEDS IT)

And can we appreciate Wanda simping over Thor?😂 (you are not alone, i also dream of licking his abs — mhmmm)

Bucky and Major are purrrfect for each other. Its giving love at first sight 👀. Bucky simps hard. Like so hard. I can wait for more Bucky X Major scene (fluff,sexay — mayyybeeeee angst? i just love hurt myself)

Also, iMajor and Tony r absolutely gonna be ‘rich business badass besties’ and then them + Sam (Wanda and Nat at the back) roasting Leah. Oh what a beautiful dream~

Anyways, beautiful beautiful writing indeed. Waiting to see Bucky sexay POV next😂 Unleash the power of your blue balls. Also I can’t wait to read what your master brain had planned🌚. Love you Pookie🩷🩷🩷

PS// these past few days I was scrolling tumblr, searching for new Bucky fics/updates and honestly… I MISSED YOUU!!! I CANNOT STRESSED THAT ENOUGH!!! 😭 seeing your username the first thing when i opened tumblr made my night! i was planning on listening to songs, dwelling on my loneliness and delulu but LOOK AT ME NOW, ITS 4AM GOSH. THANK U POOKIE LOVE U HAVE A GREAT DAY

POOKIE! <3

Actual footage of me coming up to love on your comments:

I'm so glad people are enjoying 2.2! I gotta be real, I usually don't get hot and bothered when it comes time write smut, but that section? Whoa, boy... that section had me like:

(Yes, this is my second favorite gif of all time, and I will use Blanche to express my hot and bothered-ness whenever I can, lol)

I gotta tell you right now, the phrase "making heart eyes and singing the whole world to my dick (if i have a dick)" is now the highlight of my week, so I thank you for this. It's pure literary magic <3

Major is used to taking shit from peons; she was a woman in the military, after all, lol, which is why she's able to not let Lily phase her too much. Her patience will be tested, though. Where Cunthrage was just flat out unhinged, Lizard is more... selfishly insidious? Just, you know, she's not going to be kidnapping people and snapping their arms or murderously rampaging through Hydra bases or anything. (The stakes here are much, much lower, lol. Which, I guess, is going to prep us for Unbroken, where the stakes will be... Thanos-sized, lol.) I think what makes Lily feel worse, to me, is that she's far more realistic than Jade was. Like, I know girls like Lily irl; thankfully, never met a Jade (phew!). Much like Killgrave, to me, is the scariest Marvel villain, because I've encountered so many men like him in the real world.

The things I dream of doing to Thor would probably get me put on a list if he was a real person and not a fictional character, lol. Unless I'm doing AUs, I tend to stick with canon-pairings, but there is something about the idea of Wanda/Thor that I currently find very appealing, so hopefully, we will see something happen between the two of them. I think they would be adorable. And for some reason known only to my maker, I love making Wanda a little bit horny, lol. In fact, an earlier draft of Unwanted had Pocket referring to her as the Sokovian Horndog after she made some comments about Bucky's body, lol.

Is it weird that I don't plan on having Tony be too involved in this fic, because I feel like giving him a friendship with Major is like him cheating on his friendship with Pocket? That makes no sense whatsoever, lol, but I'm so protective of my girl. I'm like "Yeah, Major, I'll let you fuck Pocket's boyfriend, Bucky, but YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS WITH HER PSUEDO-BROTHER TONY BECAUSE HE IS HERS!"

Bucky's got some sexy POV in the next sextion (see what I did there? lol) but there's going to be so much more smut in this one than Unwanted. It just feels right, lol.

[strangled-mangoes]

As a person who also likes Robin a lot and likes TT03, I really like a lot of your takes on the characters.

Speaking of which, do you ship/support Robstar?

OMG THANK U‼️ :D

and as for ur question, yes! i do ship robstar!

i think they’re a really cute and sweet couple, and i’m so happy that they’re 100% canon!!!! a lot of times, if a couple does become official, it doesn’t rlly go beyond the surface of “girl likes boy, boy thinks girl is pretty” BUT THATS NOT THEM‼️

teen titans did a really good job of developing their relationship over the course of the show, which is also impressive because it’s not entirely story-driven. yes, every season has an arc that it builds up to, but not every episode in that season is made for that arc. and yes, there is a greater story being built over the course of the seasons— but it’s not the same kind of story where it’s all leading up to defeating one single big bad. in ATLA, for example, it’s very story-driven, and each episode is connected to each other as they inch closer to their goal of defeating the Fire Lord.

but teen titans doesn’t do that. instead, every episode, even the season-arc related ones, are focused on developing the characters and sometimes their dynamics with each other.

over the course of the seasons, no matter who the big villain was, robin and starfire’s relationship grew. not only that, but they themselves grew, which is another awesome thing that the show did to make these feel like real people with a real relationship.

i know that the other big ship for robin is with raven, but tbh i really don’t like it. a lot of people care about the ship a lot so i don’t mean to sound rude, but imo, that’s just not their dynamic. to me, robin and raven are 100% sibling coded.

it’s true that they grow to be very close with each other, and as the show goes on, they’re shown to care for each other a lot— but it’s not the kind of love that robin and star have. i think my biggest point towards them being siblings is in The End, when robin goes to basically-hell to save raven. when he finds her, she’s physically and mentally younger, and doesn’t even recognize him at first. robin does approach her as her friend, but also treats her as one would with a real child. even when she remembers him, he doesn’t change his behavior with her. i really do think he sees her as his younger sister.

i know that normally they are very close in age, and have similar levels of maturity. but lemme tell u something. i have a younger brother, and we’re very similar to each other. i mean ok his interests r a bit different (he was on a wrestling team during hs while i sat on my computer and studied the tt wiki (which is amazing u should go look at it if u haven’t)). but other than the parts that make us unique (and the fact we aren’t related to each other at all), i often find myself forgetting that he’s younger than me. until we’re sitting in the backseat of our older brother’s car after a long day of walking, and he starts to fall asleep. and he falls to my side. and suddenly my brain starts running a mile a minute, as i realize that because we’re so close he isn’t afraid to sleep beside me. and ok yes this absolutely the brainrot talking but i believe this is how robin was feeling when raven trusted him to save her, to defeat her father— to protect her. of course robin is better trained and therefore didn’t freeze up like i did but whatever!

as a sidenote, i wanna say that while i do ship robstar 100%, i also ship robx :3 (and before u or anyone else that may see this says something like “wait but isn’t the new red x Jason Todd???” i’m just gonna tell u that he isn’t. i don’t wanna talk about it rn but believe me that i do have evidence i am just tired lol)

shipping stuff on the side is really fun, and i personally love robx so so much!!! do i think that they should be canon? no not really. i think it’s a fun little ship that gets to exist in our hearts (and in my phone wallpaper). red x is bisexual btw. i know this because i paid attention

anyway sorry if any of this didn’t make sense or whatever, i was gonna go to sleep (coincidentally after watching several tt episodes) when i saw ur ask and i had to reply immediately. it is 3 am now i am eepy… but also i wanna say that ive seen ur reblogs on my posts and they made me very happy so thank u very much!!!!!!! when i got the first notif i sent my friend very excited keyboard smashes (they also like tt and theyre the person that i usually talk to about it, like the cyrob parallels i noticed)

[cancerianfille]

So ,

Idk if thin’s r workin’ out ooooooor !

So, my cousin (she’s like in her thirties n married) n THEY SAAAYYYYYY that she’s divorced 😉 !

Now , the thin’ is !

My dad jus’ came home like few mins ago , n like he gave my brother 200 egp to buy me a medicine n he took 20 egp from it to buy a sort o’ Egyptian sweet called (harrisa) , n dad was like : u didn’t tell me that ur gonna take 20 egp ! N then my mom said : no , by God he told u .

N dad got mad ! (Meanwhile my mom is now followin’ w a therapist ‘cause the nervous system is affected in her body because o’ her bad mentality that was caused by my SUPER dad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

N then he said to my mom : Should i swear by divorce that he didn’t tell me ?

.

😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

.

I literally was like this emoji right here (🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨)

I was like : WAIT A DAMN MINUTE !!!!!!!!!!!!

Did he get inspired by what my cousin’s goin’ thru (which’s the divorce thin’ !!!!!!) !?!???!?

Mmmmmmmmmmm, so surprise he’s drinkiiiiiiiiiiiiiin’ 😛😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

N smokin’ weeeeeeeeeed 🤣😂🤣😆😆😆😆😆

‘Cause he is angry ! N this is jus’ who he is !!!! Before n now n forever !!!!!!!!!!!

Literally , he seems sick from my mom’s illness n the fact that the illness my mom has is in her mental ! Freaks him the fuck out !

Because he knows daaaamn well that he’s the reason behind it all ! N he’ll never , NEEEEEEVEEEEEEERRRRRR gon’ admit it ! AT AAAAAAAAAAALLL

N btw he said somethin’ when HE was makin’ dinner or lunch I don’t know ! When he was preparin’ us food !!!!

He was like talkin’ to my mom about the doctor that my mom visited today (a therapist) n he was like : i really liked this doctor tbh im gonna visit her , ‘cause im so PISSED OFF O’ u (tellin’ my mom) 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

N later on i told my mom (i really liked it when he said : im so pissed off o’ u)

N she was like : no no , he’s kiddin’ . Then i was like : no , if he meant it really , i’d never be bothered ! 😜 (ykwim)

N i slightly sneaked into the topic o’ divorce tellin’ her : what if after ur mentality got cured god willin’ n my dad still treats u the same ! N w ur new mentality u feel like ur so fed up o’ my dad’s narcissistic personality n like u can’t fight anymore , she answered like (if im gonna translate it into English from Moroccan) : then bye bye !

My heart literally was like 😍😍😍😍😍🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹😍😍🥹😍🥹😍🥹😍🥹😍🥹🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Guuuuuys , i feel like the prayers r givin’ me signs !

Oh, lemme continue (sorry this post is so long 🤭)

N also when me n my sister were gettin’ my mom dressed to go to the doctor , i saw my sister doin’ my mom’s makeup n idk y fo’ some reason i imagined my sister doin’ my mom’s makeup at her (WEDDIN’)

😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

N guess what !?!

When i said : oh , i hope my sister does ur makeup in ur weddin’ God willin’ , mom !

My mom giggled n was like : oh , i seek refuge in Allah 😏 (but i knew her heart was beatin’ so fast 😍 she seemed so happy to hear somethin’ like that -“i swear to Allah / God i know my mom wants a better man than my dad i fuckin’ know it 😞”-)

N then my sister was like : oh yah mom ! If i ever found u a suitable man fo’ u , i’ll make u marry him

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I literally , I can’t tell u 😄

I literally GIGGLED SOOOOO HARD N like inside o’ my mind i was like (yas yas 😃😃😆😆✊🏻✊🏻🥳🥳🥳)

That really made me realize that me n my sister r on the same boat , thank god !

Which

Can make her feel satisfied if my mom ever wanned to marry a better man than my dad after her divorce from our dad !

(Im cryin’ o’ the many signs , ya Allah 🥹🥹🥹🥹🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻)

Today , is the best day o’ my life !

I hope my mom n dad separate n get divorced respectfully , calmly n peacefully

Yaaaaaaa rab , Amiiiiiiin 🤲🏻

.

If u reached out to this level o’ my post , i adore u n u r a great moot o’ mine 🥹✊🏻 .

I’ll see yah .

[lqfiles]

BRO HAECHAN FUMBLING KARINA? THATS MY CUE 😋 heh but no me and karina are one for liking crime documentaries (I’m not weird guys swear 😖🤞🏼)

y/n and karina better throw the rocks.

also, don’t mind me being late to the party 😋 and im currently out reading the new parts in the mall (GUYS JUST SAW SOMEONE FAMOUS IN MY HOMETOWN LETS GO) and bella had to stay home and she has separation anxiety so she’s been crying (she stayed with one of my siblings)

AND YES BELLA IS BILINGUAL!! hmm lemme see what i can teach you in Spanish… “ mi cuenta es la mejor” (my account is the best BECAUSE IT IS!!) or “los amo a todos” (i love you all)

BUT ILY YOU AMAZING PERSON TY FOR THE UPDATES AS ALWAYS 🤍

-🫧

HIM FUMBLING A BAD BITCH LIKE HER and now she’s more sought after than him like karma got him gooooood and tbh i haven’t watched crime docus in a while which also has to do with the fact it creeps my sister out she genuinely thinks i’m plotting something because she already finds me.. scary? idk she thinks i’m capable of murder WHICH NO.. never 😣 anyways yes they will actually throw a rock at him one day hopefully 🙏🏽

omggg i don’t think i’ve ever encountered someone famous or a little famous 😭 or at least that i can remember, that’s crazy tho, did u go up to them? and awww that’s quite cute that she has separation anxiety, if i had a pet i would kinda want it to be like that in the sense that i like to know that my pets wanna be in my presence, ygm?

MI CUENTA ES LA MEJORRRR you’re too sweet omg let me kiss u 😚🥹 LOS AMO A TODOS LQFILES COMMUNITY and TE AMO to YOU specifically bff i wish spanish was one of the languages i’m fluent in but i’m not 😣 and i’m too lazy too take learning courses but MAYBE i will (please tell me how to say “you’re so sweet” cos that’s what i wanna tell u)

ILYMMM <333

[suiana]

So to give to a little context first. I have a friend whom I met from my old online school. We have a enemies dynamic. We've each other for 2 years now. When we first met I was the one who talked the most, which he used to see as "annoying". Ever since I left the online school and became busy with my new irl school, I started messaging him less and when I do, he acts more and more nicer and chill than before. To the point he stared flirting with me but I always brushed it off as I also flirt with everybody. Did I forget to mention we are the complete opposite of each other. He's extremely introverted online while I'm literally just putting out my phone number for everyone to see. Irl tho I'm introverted and scared of people unlike him who suddenly has the ultimate rizz and getting into fights with other boys.

One time he messaged me while putting on his just as he got out if the shower. Lemme tell you I was dense af back then. He literally asked for shampoo recommendations. I didn't know anything about men's hygiene so I told him to use a flower scented shampoo. He left for 15mins which I thought was because he was drying his hair. No he was running to the store. He asked for which shampoo brand I use. I didn't want him to know that much about me so I said any sakura scented one.

Another time was when we were talking about a game we like and he thought about cosplaying the character I liked and I thought of it as just some teasing between friends and went along with it by saying I prefer the female characters.

I'm always questioning my sexuality so I'm always joking around that I'm gay and I think that's the reason why he hasn't been straight forward.

He started his own irl school last week and a girl kept looking back and forth at him and when he was about to go home she stopped him saying he could always ask her for help about studies and the school.

And again with a different girl but this time is his deskmate. Apparently every single girl he has met had asked him if he has a gf to which he responded with "not ur business" and I already knew something wasn't right at this point because I have seen his face before and he is mid. Sure ig some girls r into tall boys but he's a freaking emo.

And did I tell you about my suspicion about his deskmate not even being a real girl because the Coincidences if them being neighbors and having way too much in common is too suspicious. Did I also mention "her" personality is completely unreal. She says she's "not like the other girls" and HE him out of all people fricking agreed

And his description of her sounds exactly like me. Short wolfcut, gets mistaken as a boy, kinda tall. Even her behavior is like mine, Just randomly zoning out. And the last thing that completely threw me off guard was her grades. She's the Top of the class. I'm literally part of the student council.

But then I wanted to meet her too if she was comfortable with it but y know what he said.

Idk I can

He thinks I might accidentally hurt her feelings. He has known me for nearly 3 years.

And his response to me was

"Didnt mean it but since she has many mental issues and tried to suicide her self because of got bullied and mocked,i just don't want to makes her feel bad and depressed"

I relate to her so now im always telling him to protect her even if her stories might be worse than mine.

But now that I'm rethinking about it

I think he's lying to me

I heard getting advice from random strangers on the internet is better than getting actual help /j

I actually really like him and I don't have the courage to confront him directly about it

There's a very high chance I'm just being delusional and should continue being some wingman

But I don't have any other friends to tell this and I really need to get it off my chest and get other ppls opinions so I hoped I didn't make too many Grammer mistakes

don't worry about making grammar mistakes it's totally ok

u should subtly try to egg him on for answers

like asking what's Ur ideal type, what would u do if u date me, do u think we'll be more than just friends etc

if he hints that he does like u maybe u can shoot your shot lol haha, and don't be disheartened if he rejects u, there's plenty of fish in the sea :3

imo u probably have a good chance of getting that because he probably likes you ++ no guy I've seen would do such things for someone they just call a friend :)

I hope everything goes well for you bae and all the best