#she'd go to hell and back for them no joke XD

[1moreff-creator]

With the release of a thrilling and VERY shocking Chapter 1 for Project: Eden's Garden, I'd like to resubmit my "What would make them laugh?" inquiry, but for the P:EG cast instead.

Yeah, I feel like we kinda need that one after everything that happened over there :'D. I've been wanting to write for this fangan anyways, so this is as good a place to start as any! Let's go!

Spoilers for Eden's Garden CH1

(Also, is the "shocking" description a pun on the murder method? Very funny if so xD)

Cassidy: We know she enjoys extremely horrible puns and referential humor, and the strength of her laughter correlates to how much the people around her either groan or enjoy the jokes alongside her.

Damon: He'd never admit it, but he enjoys silly jokes about niche topics he's researched for debates, provided he remembers enough about them. He particularly enjoys deadpan and sarcasm, and teasing other people.

Desmond: With how chill he is, he enjoys sweet and wholesome jokes the most. He can chuckle at anything if he's in a large enough group where everyone is comfortable, though.

Diana: She enjoys watching her friends engage in goofy antics and have silly discussions. Anything that makes them laugh, will make her smile, at least, and she'll usually laugh along too.

Eloise: Very odd and awkward sense of humor that not everyone gets. However, if someone matches her energy, she can very easily become a giggling mess. Very into inside jokes.

Eva: She'd rather not admit it, but really nerdy jokes and overly convoluted wordplay amuse her more than anything else. She also enjoys teasing the very few people she can call friends, and laughs when they get flustered.

Grace: Making fun of people and sexual innuendo are the easiest way to get her to laugh. She really enjoys slapstick and silly misfortunes, and flustering people like Wolfgang with her innuendo.

Ingrid: Laughs whenever she finds something cute, and generally, she finds other people's laughter cute. In other words, she laughs when others laugh, so she tries to make that happen.

Jean: Will readily and heartily laugh whenever he's having fun with friends, no matter what that fun looks like. Particularly enjoys anything that reminds him of the sea, like puns about the ocean and the like.

Jett: Similarly to Jean, if he likes the people he's around, a quick laugh will always precede all his sentences. Other than that, high intensity bits where there's one joke after another in quick succession are the best ways to hear his laughter.

Kai: Internet memes, "brainrot" humor, references to popular media... Just the most "chronically online" sense of humor you can possibly imagine. Also likes teasing people occasionally.

Mark: He's the hardest to get to laugh in the entire cast, but the best way to do it would be catching him off guard with a really ironic or unexpected joke. Self-deprecating and generally depressing humor go over particularly well.

Toshiko: She really likes weirding people out with her odd stories and grandiloquence, because it makes her feel smarter than them. But when she's not teasing others, she can also be seen giggling at absurdist jokes she's embarrassed to admit she likes (finds them childish).

Ulysses: He enjoys smart history references, so his sense of humor can certainly be described as "nerdy as hell." Very big fan of deadpan humor, too.

Wenona: Also a big fan of deadpan, she and Ulysses have fun together. She also likes making fun of people, and finds it particularly funny when they fight back on whatever point she makes.

Wolfgang: Likes playing along with other people's antics, like Grace's. In other words, he laughs when someone is being super silly around him and he can "yes and" his way into a funny bit.

Tozu: Human suffering and overly dramatic puns.

Mara: Clinically unable to laugh, or so she says. Secretly loves cute animal videos.

Cara: I guess it depends on what theories you believe about her. However, I don't know the full range of theories around her, so I'll leave it at that :p

Hope that was good enough! Thanks for the ask, it's always fun to think about this! :D

[tobiasdrake]

Ranma 1/2 Reboot 01x12 - Shampoo Cleans Up

Shampoo Shampoo Shampoo Shampoo Shampoo Shampoo Shampoo Shampoo LET'S GO

Effortless.

Yeah, that checks out. My vague and fuzzy memories of the manga from decades ago tell me that Shampoo is the strongest of the female martial artists in the series. Between the main four ladies (Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi), I'm pretty sure Shampoo is the gold medal when it comes to a straight fight.

With Ukyo taking the title of quirkiest fighter.

Shampoo's ability to inflict extremely selective amnesia is such a potent fucking gaslighting of an ability to have. This might be the scariest superpower in the entire series. She can unperson you to the people you love.

I love how much fun this series has with Genma's dumbass signs. XD

Can you imagine showing up to a fight and this is what you're watching? XD

The thing that's great about this twist is that. Like. It's in the name. She's called Shampoo. You didn't think personal grooming products were going to be involved in this arc?

Shampoo has the ability to manipulate people's memories and selectively remove individual pieces she doesn't want them to recall, all through the movement of her fingers as she washes their hair. This is so goddamn cool.

Amazon martial arts are built different.

They played off Akane trying to remember Ranma earlier as a joke, but her jealous outburst here is our first serious hint that the memory is still in there somewhere. It's just buried deep.

Ranma, why did you think this would work?

Like. There's a legitimate reason why this was doomed from the get-go.

He's trying to restore her memories using the Memory Erasure Shampoo, and not the Memory Restoration Shampoo. This was never going to work.

But also, even if it did work like this? Ranma. Ranma. Buddy. You don't know the technique. It's not just magic memory shampoo; There's also pressure points and stuff involved. See?

It's a martial art that requires specific training to learn how to do. Randomly futzing about with Akane's brain isn't helping. You might have just rinsed the ability to do algebra out of her! Go to the Shame Corner!

I've said it before, but Ranma's got it baaaaaaaad for Akane. He hasn't even gone back to China to find a cure for his curse. There is one! He could literally just return to Jusenkyo and get fixed! But it hasn't been worth the trouble.

Gender dysphoria isn't enough of a reason to go back to China. But this? Akane having the memory of him specifically wiped from her brain? This is enough to send him back to China. This matters more than being comfortable in his own body.

THAT DEVILISH FUCKING GRIN

SHAMPOO IS THE FUCKING BEST

...

Well, second-best but my fave probably isn't going to debut until like episode 43 if the series even survives Netflix's routine cancellation policies. It's not safe to be a show on this network.

So SHAMPOO WILL BE REIGNING CHAMPION FOR A WHILE TO COME AND POSSIBLY FOREVER.

Look, you can't blame me for forgetting that this is still a plot point. Ranma forgot too and it's literally happening to him as we speak!

You know, this is one case where you really can't blame Ranma for not coming clean about his curse. If Shampoo knew, it's literally a coin flip whether she'd decide to keep the Kiss of Death or Amazon Engagement. I don't think the Amazon rulebook has any official guidance for a situation like this.

Right now, the only reason she isn't gunning for his throat is because she thinks he's a different person from the Ranma she must kill. If she finds out? Hell, she might just do both. Marry and kill him. The Junko Enoshima solution!

I get a kick out of it every time someone calls Ranma a bakemono.

She's not entirely wrong. XD

I mean. She makes a compelling argument. I can't really find a fault in that logic.

I need you to know that Ranma goes so hard to sell this illusion that he uses the pronoun あたし atashi. This is the feminine version of the pronoun 私 watashi, used pretty much exclusively by girls.

And he rolls so high on this Diplomacy check that even Genma is fooled. (Which lands even harder for manga fans who already know about the deal Genma made with Ranma's mom.)

FUCK YOU

CARVE MY HEART OUT WITH A GODDAMN SPATULA WHY DON'T YOU

Fuck, I'm starting to remember why I was rooting for Shampoo to win back when I was a kid. She deserves to be happy.

I mean, she's an attempted murderer and an amnesia-inflicter. But she deserves to be happy. It's not her fault that Japanese culture doesn't appreciate her.

[charmixpower]

Quick question: what would be a perfect alternative Winx x Specialist pairings in your honest opinion? Like, if Bloom didn't date Sky, Stella didn't date Brandon, Flora didn't date Helia (I mean, she would be with Mirta, but the show's heteronormativity says "Fuck you" to us), Musa didn't date Riven, Tecna didn't date Timmy, Aisha didn't date Nabu/Roy/Nex.

Boyfriend swap???

Okay then XD

Bloom:

I've begun my "I don't care for Bloom/Sky" era except I love Sky unlike most people who believe this. He's literally a wet cat of a man. Bloom's and Sky's relationship is based on Bloom wanting the prince charming of her dreams, and Sky wanting to be normal by being with someone nomral. Both of these things are very much not true and are pretty unrealistic of them.

Bloom/Brandon

Brandon is the only one of the guys that would be able to roll with the insane shit that Bloom is ALWAYS caught up in without missing a beat. That's it, that's the only reason. No hesitation, no surprise, simple acceptance.

Stella:

I cannot believe you're making me break up Brella I will NEVER forgive you for this /joke

Stella/Helia

Why? Helia is the only person Brandon has ever considered a threat to his relationship, and I think that's funny as hell. Helia's commitment to the bit and acting utterly insane (see: holding off a monster only for Flora and letting the other Winx die ig, throwing someone through a table) would match Stella's ultra dramatic energy perfectly. Stella starts a bit and Helia acts like it's her last dying will and testament. Also, Helia seems to not trust himself as a part of a team (esp in the comics) and Stella's Stella ness would drag him out to hang out with everyone more often in s2 helping with that. On the other side Helia would barely care about Stella's looks, like they'd probably dating after Stella drops her "cute blonde ditz" mask, so he'd inform her of how much he likes her real personality so often

Stella/Timmy

I think it would be cute. Stella keeps him in her purse and she thinks he's so adorable. Timmy is being lavished with attention and he will try his best to let Stella know she's the best person he's ever met

Flora:

I genuinely forget that in canon Flora and Helia are supposed to be together. Mirta my beloved disaster lesbian

Flora/Riven

I have too many shippers of these two following me to not see the appeal. I have read the essays and I am convinced they could be EXTREMELY cute. Riven helps Flora be more assertive and not exclusively do things for others, and Flora helps Riven connect with his emotions and other people. Adorable

Tecna:

I don't ship Tecna's aroace ass with Timmy in the first place, or anyone for that matter so this is gonna be difficult

Tecna/Nabu

She'd eat everyone alive. He's the only non Timmy person who'd survive

Musa:

Despite Rivusa being my otp, breaking it up is a lesser crime than breaking up Brella who are soulmates. You still will not be forgiven for your transgressions /joke

..... Uh

Uhhhhh

UHHHHHHHH

okay, so, Musa has like, so many problems. Specifically relating to relationships, and tbh she needs someone who can understand her. Someone who understands why she's so clingy and can go hot and cold bc they're the same way and having a relationship is very hard when your mentally ill

Musa/Timmy

But only s1 Timmy who told Riven and Sky to shut the fuck up. I feel like he's the right balance of kind and willing to push back on Musa getting codependent or having a mood swing on him without being intimidated (and Brandon would feel trapped in this kind of dynamic)

Aisha:

IN MY AU ANNE IS A SPECIALIST SO CAN I SAY ANNE???? No? Rip

Aisha/Sky

Personally I think it's funny and they'd balance each other out and have similar focus on the mission priorities. Also Aisha starts off in my thing finding Sky super annoying for Diaspro related reasons but they have similar childhoods and reacted in almost opposite ways and I feel that that's a neat dynamic

[wardogsong]

19 M/F >:) Gemma's shooting her shot xD

spin the wheel fucc the frank || no longer accepting

It's a thing born of testing each other's mettle— changing the course from the careful circling they had done of each other, each one giving the barest nod of respect to the other's lethality before enough of a truce was established to stow the ever-ready knives and get drinks instead. The courtesies had evaporated fast then, and in it's place came the usual branch rivalry bullshit. ASTONISHING the mouth and ego on a lowly Delta who had the nerve to sit across from a bonafide Marine and act as though they were God's own gift to war. Frank hadn't hesitated for even a moment in cutting her down to size— or TRYING to. She was already pretty small to begin with. Small and mean and vicious— and drank like a fucking fish.

It was ALMOST like a night out with his brothers of yesteryear.

It hadn't taken long for the laughs to come, the absurd campfire stories of serving, the wistful reminiscing of their younger selves and the shit they got up to— and got away with. Hell, there comes a point in the night when he has to concede her the victory, if only because HE'S personally never had an all female threesome in the shower of some army base. Hell, he's not even sure if he believes her Penthouse letter bullshit, but it's pretty to think about so she gets the pass anyway.

So it goes in lazy cycles, laughing together and giving each other shit until the air between them takes on a different charge. The jokes become all the more pointed; barbed wire callouts on what he can or can't do, the balls he doesn't have, and the blatant demand that he put his money where his smug mouth is.

So he does— puts it right on hers in a kiss that's still bitter with hops, one hand fisted in the front of her shirt and keeping her close, even if he has to bend halfway down to kingdom come to do it.

Back at her place their clothes mark a hurried trail from just inside her door to wherever the hell it is that he'd finally pinned her and gotten the party started. He hadn't had it in him to wait long enough for a bed, not when all he wanted to do was get his hands and mouth all over her body. Earlier in the night she'd cracked a joke about getting him on his knees and he makes it come true, just for the pleasure of burying his face in her mound. Frank helps her hook one leg up over his shoulder and steadies her with his hands while he mouths and licks his way to her core. It's been too long for him and he's missed it enough to go about it like a man dying of thirst for her quickly building arousal.

It's only when the bottom half of his face is well covered in the evidence of her satisfaction that he deigns to come up for air, picking Gemma right up as he stands and leaving her to scramble for something to brace against for balance. For his own turn he has her right there where they are, bouncing her off the cradle of his hips with deep thrusts in a rhythm that tells tales of passion and urgency and want want want.

xx

[xxwritemeastoryxx]

These Violent Delights Ch. 3

Hidden in Plain Sight

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x OC

Word Count: 4.2K

Warnings: None that I can think of?

Author’s Note: I know, this one is late. But at least it’s done, right? XD Anyways, we are about to get into things. 

Feedback gives me life and motivation for future things. ♥

<< Chapter 2 || Series Masterlist || Chapter 4 >>

The moment Adriana sat down in the booth with Bonnie and Elena, it had been evident that the main reason for being there wasn't there yet. As her brown eyes scanned the room, she couldn't help but speak her mind. "I see that Caroline is running late."

Elena sighed as she placed her hands on the table. "We've been under surveillance since Damon was arrested. Seeing as what is being given to you today, she needed to make sure that she gave them the slip before making her way over to us."

Adriana nodded her head in understanding. While it was news to her that they were being watched, it wasn't unusual. For as many times a black card was dropped off with her, they were usually late. 

"Are you sure this is something you want to do?" Bonnie asked, looking over at Adriana.

It wasn't until recently that they had found out who Damon's go-to was. Once the Salvatores were sent to Prison, Elena and Caroline were in charge of the simpler things. Including knowing the details of who to call when something, or someone, needed to be taken care of. 

When Elena found out Adriana had been 'Rosa', Everything had seemed to make sense. With as close as Giuseppe and Victor had been, it wasn't a huge surprise to see that Damon and Adriana had become close in their line of work just as their parents had been. At least Elena knew it was someone they could trust and not some hired contract that could turn on Damon or even Stefan. 

Adriana huffed a laugh. "This is Damon we are talking about. I don't think I'd be able to walk away from helping him. With as much business he's sent my way, I'd feel like if I'd be betraying him if I didn't do this for him." A thought crossed her mind. "Any idea who is on the card?"

Elena shook her head. "Damon didn't say. Mostly because it's hard to get any information out without it being overheard. I would say Caroline would know, but she only knows how to get the encryption onto the card. Whoever is on the card, Damon made them a top priority. We are supposed to help in any way that we can."

"Even though you guys are supposed to help, there isn't much that you guys can do once I start." Adriana said, looking between the two. "I don't want you guys anywhere near where it is going to happen. Especially since you have ties to Damon."

"We definitely have a plan." Caroline said as she plopped herself into the seat next to Elena. "Damon and Stefan want us away for the weekend. So we are going on an all-girls vacation. Which you are required to join once things are done."

Adriana rolled her eyes. "Typical Damon and his weekend getaways for his girls."

She wouldn't say it out loud, but that meant there would be a double with the girls until she joined them. But at Least Adriana knew there was a plan in place to protect her friends. With this one being close to home, Adriana wouldn't risk anyone that she knew. It would make things a complicated mess.

"Anyways, here are the plane tickets, and hotel key for that weekend." Caroline said as she handed Adriana an envelope. As Adriana took it, she knew that the black card was hidden neatly within its contents.

The contents felt heavy in Adriana's hand as she pulled it closer to her. This was something she wouldn't be letting out of her sight any time soon. While the card wouldn't look out of the ordinary to anyone else if she had left it out, she still wouldn't take the risk. 

"When are we leaving?" Adriana asked.

"In a week." Caroline said with a nod. "Though there is a two day period that we are expecting delays."

That had confirmed what Adriana knew. She'd have a week to go over the information she now had and make her plans. In a week, her friends would be leaving, and Adriana would have her cover story. The day after they left, she'd make her move. While most clients put a rush on things, Damon made her timeline more relaxed. It made it easier to get the upper hand she needed. 

"That gives me plenty of time to pack without you hating on every piece of clothing I own." A smirk grew on her lips as Adriana began to joke.

It was a way to ease the tension she was beginning to feel. A coded discussion wasn't what they were used to having with each other. They were used to being carefree in their conversations. Now that it felt off, Adriana wanted to fix it. 

Caroline rolled her eyes. "You better have at least bought some amazing swimsuits while you were out and about. Otherwise, I will judge the whole time."

Bonnie and Elena laughed at the two. The conversation that followed had made them feel as if they were back in High School. The flow of conversation came so naturally to them. They talked about their lives after high school. Ten years of their lives, they hadn't known what Adriana had been up to or vice versa.

_____

The moment Klaus's phone went off, they knew their night out at the bar was about to end. Even though it was their night off, it seemed that it wasn't going to be staying that way. Once Klaus answered the phone, Marcel and Elijah waited to find out what they would be assigned to. 

Klaus' eyes widened as he listened to the voice on the other line. He turned in his seat, his eyes landing on the table where the women were sitting. He watched as they were laughing at something that had been said between them. 

"I understand." He mumbled into the phone, turning his attention back to Elijah and Marcel. He could easily see the look of curiosity displayed on their faces. "We'll bring her in for questioning." Without another word, he hung up the phone. 

"Who exactly are we bringing in?" Elijah asked, already reaching over and grabbing his jacket. 

Klaus shook his head. "I will be bringing in Caroline for questioning. She made the drop earlier, and they want her down the at the station for questioning. You and Marcel will be sticking together. Rosa is officially in town and if she has her mark, it wont be long before you are potentially at risk."

Both Marcel and Elijah rolled their eyes. "How the hell did I get stuck on babysitting duty?" Marcel asked. 

"If you'd like to get the death glares by taking Caroline in, be my guest. I can stay here and be sure my brother isn't used for potential target practice." Klaus said with a raised brow.

"How about we not talk as if I am not here?" Elijah asked as he looked between the two. "I do know how to protect myself."

"I'm sure her long list of victims said the same thing." Marcel noted. "Right before she took their lives without ever laying an eye on her."

"We don't know for sure if I am even her intended target." Elijah said with a shake of his head.

"From what Rebekah said," Klaus stood and collected his things. "Caroline handed an envelope to a woman before getting into her car. The team that watched her believed the woman was Rosa and followed her, losing sight of Caroline. The moment that woman knew she was being followed, she made damn sure she wouldn't be able to give up any details."

"Meaning in the process, Caroline was able to give the real Rosa the black card without anyone knowing when or to who." Elijah shook his head. If he had been there, he would have sent one team with Caroline and another with the woman to ensure nothing was a miss. 

"Looks like it will be a few days of us sticking together." Marcel said, giving Elijah an apologetic look. 

Klaus walked away from the booth as Elijah began muttering about making Marcel's life hell at work. An amused smirk had been on his face as he walked away. His brother never did like just sitting around when he could be at the front of the action. 

As he reached the table, he could hear the women laughing at something Elena said. As he came to a stop at the table, he cleared his throat, getting their attention. The moment Klaus had it, he didn't miss the glares he got from three of them and the shocked look he had gotten from Adriana. 

"It's good to see you, Adri." He said with a nod of his head as he looked over at Adriana. "I hate to break up the chance of catching up," he turned his attention towards Caroline. "unfortunately, duty calls and this isn't a friendly visit. I'm going to have to ask you to come down to the station."

"What the hell, Klaus." Bonnie said, shaking her head. "She hasn't done anything but sit here and-"

"It's okay, Bonnie." Caroline cut her off. She stood up from her seat, knowing that it would be easier to just go than make a scene. "Just call your dad for me?" She turned her attention towards Adriana. "Welcome to our knew normal."

"What is this about?" Adriana asked, looking over at Klaus."

Klaus sighed. "Just some routine questions. She'll be free to go later this evening."

Adriana stood up in front of Klaus. Compared to the man, she was shorter than him. But the way Adriana currently held herself, it almost made Klaus want to shrink in size. She had always kept her ground, and it was a reminder that she never took any shit from anyone.

"Routine questions as in you have something against her?" She questioned as she looked up at Klaus. "Or routine questions that help you solve a case?"

An eyebrow raised on Klaus' face. "You know I can't discuss it."

Adriana laughed. It was unsettling to Klaus and the others that were there with the two. "We both know there's a fine line on what you can and can't talk about. In case you've forgotten, I've been on the other side of a Mikaelson questioning for years. There are ways you can discuss it without jeopardizing whatever case you are working on."

"Adriana, he's just doing his job." Elijah's voice filled the air. 

Adriana never took her eyes off of Klaus. It surprised her how much her heart picked up at the sound of Elijah's voice. But as much as she wanted to turn and see him for the first time in ten years, she wasn't about to back down.

"Adri," Caroline said, coming over to stand beside her and placing a hand on her arm. "Elijah's right. This is just their job. I'll be out of there in time for dinner. Plus, you don't need to make things harder on yourself if they drag you down there with me."

Adriana looked over at Caroline, her face softening. Sighing, she reached over and picked up her bag, pulling out a business card. "While I know Bonnie's dad can do one hell of a job," she handed the card to Caroline. "call this lawyer. Let her know Adri told you. She'll be there in record time."

Caroline laughed. "Leave it to you to have everything on stand by."

A smirk pulled at Adriana's lips. "It's kind of my job to be that person."

The girls watched as Caroline left with Klaus out of the bar. There was a bit of guilt going through Adriana. She knew what this was about. Caroline was going to be questioned about the drop she made at some point today. And while it was unknown to Adriana as to the details of earlier events, she felt like this one was going to come back and bite her in the ass.

"Well there went that." Elena said as she stood up from her seat. "I'll see you both tonight?" She asked as she grabbed her things.

"You don't have to leave, yet." Adriana said, looking over at Elena. She didn't want to miss the chance for them to enjoy their time together.

Bonnie sighed. "We've got a few things we need to go take care of. But we'll be there for dinner. " Bonnie pulled Adriana into a hug. "Plus, by the look on Elijah's face, it seems like he wants to speak with you, and I'd hate for us to get in the way of that conversation." She whispered. 

For the first time that night, Adriana looked over at Elijah. While patient as ever, Bonnie had been right. She could see it on his face that Elijah wanted to speak with her. But Adriana also didn't miss the way her heart picked up once more as she took in his appearance. 

Time had been kind to him. If she once believed she enjoyed how he looked, now that seemed to be intensified. Where he had one wore jeans and shirts had been traded for a suit that looked amazing on him. 

There had been so much left unsaid between the two of them. Ten years' worth of words could have been said between them if Adriana had just stayed.  But since she left without saying a word, it made it difficult to even get the first words between them started. 

"We'll give you two some space." Elena said, giving them a small smile. "I'll call when Care is out."

Adriana nodded her head and watched her friends leave before she looked back at Elijah. She tried thinking of something to say. After a moment, she had it. "Can I just say that I was a horrible best friend?"

A small chuckle passed Elijah's lips. "I agree. There is quite a bit you've left me out of."

"How about a drink?" She asked, gesturing to the now empty booth. "And I'll try and make up for it." 

_____

Her fingers ran over the rim of the wine glass in front of her. "Do you remember what it was like to be kids?" She asked, looking over at Elijah for a moment before looking back towards the glass. "Where we weren't defined by the actions of our parents?"

Elijah sat back in his seat, lifting his glass up to his lips to take a sip of the wine. "It was easier to believe that we could get away from the world that surrounded us. If only it had been that easy."

She shook her head and smiled. "You managed to get out of Mikael's shadow. He never made detective. He was just a cop, not afraid to do anything to get what he wanted."

He shook his head. The thought of his father's days as a cop had been a long-forgotten memory. Adriana had brought those memories to light so easily. He could remember there was only ever one family his father kept harassing the majority of the time. And he was currently looking at a member of that family. 

"You've managed to get out of your's as well." Elijah noted. "You haven't been home in years, traveling the world from what I hear. What your family was responsible for was never something you took on. Continuing the family business, as they say."

"Imagine if I did?" She asked. "The two best of friends on the opposite sides of the law. Your dad would throw a fit." A smirk pulled at her lips as she said the words. If only Elijah knew how wrong he was. 

He chuckled. "He would have thrown a fit over several things if he had only known. Aren't I right, Rosa?"

Hearing the nickname come from Elijah had hit differently. She had heard it several times from other people over the years. She heard it every time someone hired her. But hearing it coming from Elijah, it always felt different.

"I'm surprised you remember that." She said, giving him a smile.

"How could I forget?" He asked as he leaned forward in his seat. "I was the one that gave you that nickname."

"I feel like I was a different person when you gave it." She admitted. "I haven't been home in so long that the Adriana Vega that loved this city looks like a distant memory."

"Whatever happened at your mother's must have been one hell of a visit." He noted. He could still remember the day he heard that she left for her mothers. 

Adriana sighed. "I never went to my mothers." The look she got from Elijah at that moment hurt her. "After she left us, I hated it. She never accepted my calls or even checked in on me. After graduation, a family friend invited me to work with her for the summer. I loved it so much out there that I couldn't bring myself to come back."

"You had us worried when you didn't." There was hurt in his voice that she hadn't missed. "I thought for sure you would have come back. "

"I wanted to." She nodded her head. "But I couldn't bring myself to come back. I kept telling myself that I would go home and see everyone and explain why I left, but I couldn't bring myself to. Eventually, a letter just seemed like the best way to say goodbye to an old life."

Elijah nodded his head in understanding. Adriana had wanted an out from the world that she had been a part of in New Orleans. Even though he understood, it still hurt him that she left without telling him. 

"Has this new life of yours been kind to you?" He asked. Fishing for information that he wasn't sure he wanted to hear. 

She shrugged her shoulders. "As kind as it can be for someone that travels a lot. " She picked up her glass, taking a drink. "Work keeps me busy enough, the pay is great that I can retire soon." She chuckled slightly. "But it's lonely compared to the life I had here."

It was the first time she had ever said that out loud. But speaking with Elijah made it so easy to come up. He used to be the person she could say anything to. They could talk about any of their problems out with each other. It seemed that aspect hadn't changed after all those years. 

Adriana missed that. Being a mercenary meant having little to no friends or connections. The less that people knew about her life, the better things were. Settling down wasn't an option. Not when a target could be placed on them for some of the jobs she had done. 

Elijah sighed. "I take it there was another reason for you coming home? Otherwise, I believe you would have been back sooner if you missed the people." 

A small smirk pulled at her lips. "If you are trying to ask me if I missed you, the answer would be yes." 

Elijah chuckled as a small smile formed on his lips. "Good to know. Though if that was the case, why not just tell me?"

Adriana sighed as she looked down at the glass. Several things crossed her mind at that moment. She turned down a different path than Elijah had when she left home. He chose the career he always wanted while she followed a darker path. How could she ever explain that to him?

"You were the first person I wanted to tell." She admitted as she looked over at him. "I wanted to tell you that I was packing up my bags and leaving."

"Why didn't you?" He asked curiously.

"You would have stopped me from leaving." She hadn't missed the shock and confusion that played on his expressions at her words. "Rebekah told me about your summer plans for us."

Elijah's shoulders slumped slightly. His mind quickly jumping to conclusions. He had always believed that there was a reason she didn't tell him she was leaving. He felt at that moment, with those words, he had gotten his answer. 

Seeing his face, Adriana reached over and placed her hand on his. "I would have stayed and enjoyed that summer with you. Life would have been different.  And I did want that. I could have told you about the job and we could have worked something out. But what would have happened to us once I decided I wasn't coming home?"

"We'll never know since you made the decision on your own." He said as he looked her in the eye. 

A huff passed her lips as she pulled her hand back. "Would you have left your family for years at a time?" She asked, watching his reactions. "Or handle the fact that I was traveling more than being at home? And you can't say that you would have tried the traveling life. Because I know you, Elijah. You wouldn't have been here to protect your siblings from Mikael."

Elijah looked away as he took in her words. She wasn't wrong about anything she had just said. Adriana knew him well enough that she knew his thought process without ever needing to speak with him. 

If he had left with her, he wouldn't have been there for his siblings. His father had taken plenty of his anger out on his siblings. It was Elijah that tried his best to keep them safe. And if he stayed, he wasn't sure if he could take Adriana being gone for as long as she been speaking about.

"Maybe it was for the best that we hadn't." He said with a nod of his head a moment later. "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if you had stayed and given up the opportunity you've had."

Before Adriana could voice her thoughts, her phone went off. Her eyes drifted to the phone screen, seeing Elena's number pop up. She was able to scan the message before the notification closed. 

 "Caroline's out." She said softly. "We're still meeting for dinner. I know our conversation is probably far from over..."

Elijah nodded his head. "Go. I assure you it is still rather easy to get in contact with me. " He reached into his pocket, grabbing his wallet and pulling out his card. "But just in case, here's my card."

A smile pulled at her lips as she took the card. "Never thought I'd see the day where Elijah Mikaelson has his own business card."

He chuckled softly. "It's a good thing you've come home, then." 

Adriana's smile grew a little more at his words. "I'm happy to be home, even if it's only for a while." She got up out of her seat and collected her things. "I'll try not to be a stranger."

"I hope not." He said as he stood as well. Since she was leaving, he had no other reason to be there. 

With one last smile, Adriana walked away from the booth and out the door. Elijah had watched as she had, hoping that this wasn't the last time they spoke. He'd hate for things to be left as they were. 

"Well," Marcel said as he came up and patted Elijah's back. "You could feel the tension from the other side of the place."

Elijah rolled his eyes. "Say another word, and you'll be buried in paperwork. "

Marcel raised his hands in surrender. Though a smirk played on his lips as he did. 

_____

The moment Adriana got to her car, she pulled an encrypted tablet out from the glovebox. The moment it was powered up, she pulled the envelope out that Caroline gave her. Just as she expected, the black card had been hidden within the pocket meant to hold the hotel key. 

Removing the small SD card that had been hidden in its side, Adriana popped it into the tablet. As the tablet worked to unseal the files, her eyes wandered. As they did, she watched as Elijah and Marcel began to walk out of the bar, a small smile pulling at her lips. 

The ding that came from the tablet made her look down at it before her eyes widened. Her heart dropped as she took in the information on the screen. A moment later, her head shot up, her eyes scanning the area until landing on Elijah getting into the car with Marcel. 

She watched as they spoke to each other for a moment before driving away. As they did, Adriana was beginning to hate that she took this job. She never wanted her work to interfere with her past. And yet it was about to do that. 

She could only hear her father's words as she looked back at the screen. I understand the thrill of it all. To want to be able to get the money and have power all at the same time. But one of these days, you'll mess up in a way that you can't come back from. 

On the tablet, there was an image similar to what she had seen moments ago. Elijah and Marcel holding coffee in their hands and smiles on their faces as they were getting into the car. At the bottom of the image was writing that was clear as day. 

Elijah Mikaelson. You have a week, Rosa. Use it wisely. 

<< Chapter 2 || Series Masterlist || Chapter 4 >>

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[a-collection-of-villainous-aus]

Pirate au part 5 pt2

(link to first part of pt5)

Alright, alright back from the flash back

"Yes but if I am honest, I thought it was a fabrication to deal with the life they forced upon you... however it does explain your need of aquatic plush toys in your quarters."

Hat replied leaning back in his chair, legs outstretched and chin on chest with arms folded.

"Tha' an I jus' like 'em, also sir..."

"Hmm?"

The old demon responded not looking up as a glass appeared aswell as a bottle of wine, pouring by itself before reaching out a hand for it, claws tapping lightly on the glass.

Didn't matter what time of day it was if he wanted a drink he was going to have one.

He was still bitter that Demencia and Acylius were probably talking up a storm and completely ignoring him.

How flipping wonderful for them.

(Awww someone's a grumpy old man XD)

"I were told yer handled yer... Ahem noodles other night."

505 continued, rubbing the back of his neck and looking off to the side, though it was hard not to smile as the Captain let out another indignant huff.

"Excuse you, they are most certainly not noodles, I can make them any size I want!"

He was clearly exasperated by his cooks response, rising to his feet and pacing only for it to hit Black Hat that if 505 knee that means.... ¬w¬ Acylius was awake, that made the pirate King smile, good so he'd heard him, perhaps the merman was intrigued and-

"Really wow...honest jus' be thinkin' with the size o' this 'ere ship was compensating for sumthin."

Fives returned casually and snorted as Black Hat gasped dramatically, hand on chest.

"I am affronted in Spanish you would think such a thing!"

"Pfffft sir yer got a merman who's affronted in a whole lot o' Spanish by ere thin yer done."

That made our Old bastard pause as he looked incredulously at his employee

"Oh like what?"

"Dining withou' even offerin' ter share fer one."

Hat immediately started fidgeting as well as his mind going blank, what was he supposed to do, confess the merman made him lose all reason and he'd been so busy on trying to be impressive to Acylius he'd actually forgotten the merman’s basic needs.

The king couldn't exactly disagree considering be happily ate anything the man put infront of him, scrubbing his hands down his face and groaning

"I have not even asked if Flug has a food he favors most, no wonder he shuns my presence."

"Sir, do calm yer self, trust me, merman ain't hatin' on ya, or he wud 'ave jumped out, merfolk sooner die than stay trapped against their will, part of him wants ter stay."

Now that made the old demon perk up, honestly if anyone other than Fives or Demencia and Acylius talked to him this way, when the blasted merman would finally converse with him that was, he'd have tossed anyone else overboard cut open to draw in sharks and watched as they were mauled.

Ahhh mauling, what a lovely thing.

Maybe he'd do that later anyway, he felt in the mood for a killing, it would be easy enough to find some reason to off one of his own men, no one dared to argue with Pirate King Black Hat lest they be next on his list.

"So what else do you know about deep sea merfolk? I know about Thaddeus's world and of his Edward practically having one as a pet, but they never gave me the detailsr and I did not care to ask at the time, I think they might have even escaped."

Returning to his seat, there was only the sound of the sea and Fives food sizzling or boiling subtly, calming in its own way, his cook had returned to the stove working on Black Hat's meal and the slops the rest of the crew had...excluding the cook himself and Dem...he would not have his best workers fed so poorly.

"King I'm surprised yer dun know more about his kind , I be bettin he has some pet yer ripped him away from..."

Looking over his shoulder he saw Black Hat starting to fidget as he realised that he'd probably caused Acylius more distress without meaning to.

"He dun seem ter 'ave a partner, food offerin' are like socializations...sum cases even get yer matin if they reaaaally like the food and the one offerin'"

Inside Black Hat's mind was a smaller version of himself frantically scrawling all this down while listening calmly, if Acylius did have a pet he was going to bloody well hunt for it and start courting the stubborn fish correctly.

----

In the Captain's quarters Acylius was floating in his tank there was not much he could really do in empty waters.

Tail swaying gently up and down, listening to Demencia's stories about Black Hat and the adventures they'd had.

His fins drooping slightly, so that was a yes, they were a sort of thing, where did that leave him, was he once again some beings pet?

That left him wondering if he was expected to worship within this prison and please his new master...at least if someone explained to him what his fate was to be, his could accept it all the quicker, it was the anticipation making it nearly unbearable.

Maybe if he behaved he could even bargain favors of his body for Black Hat to bring him his beloved Mew Mew loaf...but what if the Pirate king devoured her if he did not behave.

Thaddeus absolutely would have had he had Mew Mew as his companion then.

Looking up at Demencia, she noticed the vulnerability through the cut out holes in the tied bag on his head, she was staring back curiously wondering what was going through his mind.

Acylius had to agree she was really fascinating herself...if Black Hat and Demencia had room for him...it would still be better than his last arrangement.

He'd never met someone quite so excitable as her, she had such a lust for madness it was incredible.

"Hmm would you like to join me in my fish bowl?"

Flug offered, swimming up to the surface, holding a hand out for her, long fingers, fins fanning, delicate veils lined with fragile thin bone adorning his forearms, glistening in the sunlight.

Watching them sway, her urge to touch them rising, she'd never seen a mer being up close until Acylius so of course the lizard woman was fascinated, reaching out hesitantly and pausing, giving him a questioning look as she was unsure if that would upset him.

"Yes you can touch them, but in the tank please, so I can keep them wet, they tend to tear like tissue paper when dry."

Flug chuckled, reaching now with both hands he lifted her into his water home.

Most of course would have have asked why any mer person would want a land walker in their domain and with good reason, there were many cautionary tales of sailors being drowned by merfolk.

Demencia of course being Demencia XD was like Hell yeah and made a joyful surprised sound at how easily Flug lifted her, once in the waters she let out a sigh, they were so cool and refreshing, absolutely wonderful.

"Now that you are in, may I make one more request, may I kiss you?"

His deep and gentle voice with its own alluring inviting timber had her growing a little flustered, she'd lying if she did not agree that it made his request all tempting. .

"Whoa there fish man, at least buy me dinner first."

She teased playfully and gently nudged him.

Acylius was smiling under his mask and shook his head

"What would you like Miss, I have thin air and water...but all joking aside Demencia, it is so I can make you breathe underwater."

"Ohhhh right, makes sense, well then, pucker up fish boy!"

"Only if you close your eyes, I do not want to put you off."

"Please nothing would put me off, you could be a face of tentacles and I'd still smooch ya!"

Flug snorted, indeed she was entertaining. "

"Alright, do not say, that I did not warn you."

Lifting the lower half of his bag, smiling to the fullest extent his lips would allow, the corners of them disappearing under his mask, mouth full of sharp teeth, in awe she stared at their shimmering beauty, all of them like daggers made of pearl, mouth going dry and silently cursing, damn, fangs...her weakness.

The kiss was brief, an opening of mouths, exchange of fluids before being pulled down into the water.

Wow...in here she saw what he saw, the captains quarters looked distant, as if they were peering into a small rectangular window, on the other side of the was the vastness of the ocean, all types of plant life and fish, so on so forth, reaching out to try and touch his world her hand met only more glass.

"Ah ah no touching or it breaks my illusion, it is too tiring to make solid ones at all times but these ones help me from going mad in my solitude in this fish bowl."

Flug was quiet, thinking on how to respond to that

"If you come from Pearl City, you are considered perfect, their colours are more pastel and you are free but with a king...it is full of wonder and lights..."

Sighing he looked out into the vastness of his illusion, it changed to show the city, glowing and splendid

A silhouette of a show over it of he, Thaddeus and Edward.

" Upon my first viewing I thought it beautiful, but that light for me soon diminished as I was kept by its King, like a pet...I do not hate this Land King though who has me now...he seems surprisingly awkward...endearing really..."

"Ohhhh you like him!"

"Shush or I will not continue....my deep sea kind are dwindling in numbers and because of our rarity if captured we can be used as a power play a sign of well to do...deep sea merfolk are wild and free, come and go as we please unless we have a reason to stay that is... "

He raised a brow, sensing Demencia had more to say gently prodded her

" What is it? "

"You want to stay for the Captain huh, that will make him happy he's been a grumpy old sod because he thinks you hate him."

"I would have jumped out the bloody tank by now if I did...anyway my kind is more willing to help anyone and everyone, Pearl City folk only help their own."

Acylius shook his head, smiling to himself, his cheeks were thankfully hidden by his mask because he was blushing and he knew it.

" Screw those pearl mersnobs, you're already more amazing than them...hmm your fins are really nice I was expecting them to feel slimy like actual fish."

Flug stifled a laugh at her attitude toward Pearl Merfolks, that certainly lifted his mood at how unimpressed she was by them, his fins suddenly flared out, the spines on bis back raising defensively as he held her closer before putting her behind him and poised to strike at the nothingness in Black Hat's Cabin, a swirling portal of purple light tore through the air and his first words in response

"You will not have her creature!"

Acylius's claws extended however no one stepped out only a voice was heard

"Awwww cute you were socialising, guessing Black Hat hasn't been looking after you, Demmy Where's Blackie?"

Demencia had been caught completely off guard at Flug's willingness to protect her, taking a moment to come back down to Earth and answer the voice that she knew well

" He's in the Galley Ferral! "

" Thanks hun! "

With that the portal disappeared.

"Full of surprises aren't ya!"

Demmy was clearly excited by his display, like an eager child to see more, that had been pretty awesome for her to see that and see his usually white and deep blue tail instantly go black with bright blue rings on in warning against predators.

" You know them...that thing?"

"Ohhh yes, brief encounters here and there, in another dimension she's Black Hats daughter and your step daughter...though that Flug is really quite different from you, small world after all huh."

"Yes indeed."

He replied, though he still fixed on the space where the portal had been.

It was nice to know in another dimension he and Black Hat had a family... Maybe one day they... No that was thinking waaaaay too far ahead.

[squaredancing-weston]

text || Brobastian (Week 2)

Bas: Well, maybe it should be in a room full of mirrors, then. That way I get to see myself /and/ the other guy. Although I feel like just fucking me would actually take less effort than the teasing would. I mean, there's only so much of someone rutting against me that I can take - especially if they're murmuring in my ear about all of the different ways they plan on having me. That shit gets /exhausting/, Brodes - there comes a time where you just want someone to fill you up, or - fuck, I feel like riding them would be easier than just the /tease/. I mean not that the tease isn't all manner of hot, but, you know - there /are/ limits, and pushing them with me in this state would just be cruel, you know? Best just to give me the relief I need.

Bas: When your material revolves around crappy jokes at my expense, then that's just sad. Really - you have /one/ subject. I know you're obsessed with me, Brodes, but come on. Hey, I'm not the one trying to be a comedian, here. That's on you.

Bas: Can't say I've counted. What - you think I don't own any R&H? You underestimate me, as usual. While I appreciate ballet as an art form, yeah - no. Besides all of the dizziness, it really is just gonna send me to sleep again. I've slept enough. Why do you equate my ability to find people to sleep with to a lack of standards? While I might have had some questionable hook-ups in the past (all hot, just some... questionable people), I do like quality. Newbie Brody sounds adorable - man, I'd have loved to corrupt him - but I digress. Just because you're fine going home alone, doesn't mean we all need to do so. Don't get me wrong, there's been a night or two where I haven't hooked up, but it's really not very often. Why skip out on the chance for some good sex? Fine, fine - he can do the groundwork, but I'm making my intentions clear.

Bas: Man, you can be so dramatic sometimes, you know that? Tell you what - if I die from sex, you can rest assured that you were right, and I'll have gone out in probably the best way that I possibly could. I'm not /that/ sick - I'll be fine in a few days. I already told you - nobody said /anything/ about being ass-raped to death apart from you. Seriously, I worry about you sometimes.

Bas: He's been hovering, yeah. You don't really /need/ to angle Blaine - his ass is a good view no matter where he's standing in the room, so long as he's not directly facing you. Although the rest of him is perfectly pleasing to look at, too.

Bas: You mean there's no one to obsess over. Don't worry, Brodes - me and my ass will be back in no time. Oh, but if he's as bad as you claim he is, you're fine mocking over texts? So cruel. I don't deserve this shit. I didn't say anything about not liking it. If nothing else, she'll give me something to do during lunch hour. And by /do/, well.... I'm sure you know what I mean. Yeah, but what happens when she puts on Legally Blonde and they start thinking that they can get a law degree and win trials based on their perm maintenance knowledge? And I bet she wouldn't even show the Broadway version.

Brody: Doesn't a room full of mirrors mess with the reflection though? Like kind of skew the coloration or something, because it's just reflection on reflection on reflection, etc? But yeah-- I mean, you could definitely play with more than one, get all the angles. You're missing the point, Bas. The point isn't what would take the least effort: it's what has the biggest payoff. And since you can't really handle that level of exertion for at least another week, the tease has to last until you can properly enjoy it. So until then, they can really only get by themselves by talking about how intense it's going to get-- how they're going to spread you out, stretch you open one finger at a time, three fingers deep, before lapping up your ass like a cream to a cat. Fucking bringing you to a breaking point if you don't have their full, thick, throbbing cock inside of you, punching up against your sweet spot hard while their hands are //finally// reaching around, slicked up so they're wet and hot and completely covering you and just pumping like you guys haven't fucked in weeks-- which, you know, you haven't. Because you've been on bedrest and he's not going to fuck you until you're off. It's a medical thing, Bas-- I mean, it's that or nothing, you know? And I figured since //nothing// was basically killing you here, it'd make more sense this way, right?

Brody: I hardly see that as sad-- who deserves jokes at their expense more than the proud peacock? I mean really? And it makes everybody laugh. I cater to my audience, what can I say. And you're worse than they are, Bas-- I know you; you'd rather hear anything about yourself than the funniest jokes about anyone else. Tcha-- everyone's a critic until the light's on them.

Brody: Well, let me know when you think of a ballpark figure. //You// watch Rogers and Hammerstein? Like more than just in passing? You do know people usually fall in //love// in those shows, right? Without sex? Or are you sleeping through those parts? You realize sleep isn't the enemy, right? I mean, I'm not encouraging you to sleep through culture in its purest form, but if your body's trying to drag you under, that's usually a sign. It might have something to do with the fact that there's a limited number of bodies in Ohio and you've likely slept with the majority of them-- and they definitely could not have been all 10s, Bas. I wouldn't be surprised if you couldn't give some of them a 7 after you took off your beer goggles. Yeah, I'm familiar with the questionable aspect-- I've seen that scar on your back XD Hey-- Newbie Brody was still plenty experienced, just...a little gun shy. Let's just say I didn't leave Sparks without a little bit of crazy chasing me out. And if 22-year old Bas was when whips were involved in your sex life, I wouldn't really want to be corrupted, thanks. Well, I guess I just don't mind the break to focus on other things then. Sex isn't air for me. Bas, I've heard you guys talking-- I'm pretty sure your intentions are perfectly clear by now. Like bird flying into a window transparent.

Brody: //I// can be dramatic? That's a laugh, considering some of the shit I've seen you pull over the years. So I can write on your grave: Brody Told You So You Assless Peacock ? I mean, since if you die by //my// dick, I'm going to be in the next grave over, it seems only fair. Okay, okay-- you're just unnecessarily stuck on bedrest while coughing like hell. You're not sick. I'm still not sexing you up while you look like that. You know, when you say crap like that, it makes me believe you never even watched the show, much less read the books, and that hurts my feelings. I mean, did you think they'd be asking about the actor(s-- since the guy was recast three different times at least) or what? Because I'm pretty sure they would have clarified that point if that had been the case. Hey-- I didn't choose the dead guy. I chose the manipulative girl with experience.

Brody: well, so long as we're in agreement that his ass is way better than yours, I'll totally agree with that. I mean, personally, he's not really my type, but I don't blame you for pining over the innocent soul you failed to fully corrupt. Everyone has the one that got away, Bas.

Brody: I'm sorry, are you implying that I couldn't easily find someone else to talk to or about? Because I'm pretty sure that the conversation is significantly more diverse around the people that are actually //allowed// out of the house. Well, a) I can't see you, and 2) didn't you just say you were fine? XD Can't have it both ways, peacock. Speaking of obsession...you know you could always just stop answering, right?

Brody: [unsent] holy fuck please do not actually seriously consider that as an option-- why the fuck did I say that god fucking dammit I'm pathetic

Brody: I guess-- just make sure you wipe off the desk before and after-- and rinse out her mouth. God mayonnaise just bugs the crap out of me. I mean, obviously it's not hurting her, because she looks great, but why do people need their sandwiches to look like someone dumped a vat of glue on it? Yech. I admit, if your kids are watching Reese Witherspoon the Lawyer-based movies and not coming out of it with any worthwhile lyrics in their head, I'll be a little disappointed. But I'm sure she'd give them all time to perfect the bend-and-snap, since you won't be there to demonstrate whenever you need something from the principal XD