#she’s so cool she’s SO confident about how literally every aspect of the dungeon works

[theminecraftbee]

pearl’s video about beating decked out 2 is out and it is SO GOOD. the final puzzle is SO COOL, that last run is SO SICK, listening to pearl have insane amounts of dungeon knowledge and confidence is FANTASTIC, gg pearl you are SO COOL. ALL HAIL THE MASTER OF DECKED OUT!

[quirrelli]

playing a Pokemon game for the first time in 2023

TL;DR: mixed bag, some strong aspects but also one big fat fatal flaw.

Even though I'm a 90s kid, the whole Pokemon phenomenon somehow passed my childhood by. Now, that isn't to say I'd never heard of the franchise and thought a Pikachu was the sound of 3.14159 sneezing; I have picked up some basic things through cultural osmosis. Like that you get one of three little lads to start with and then you go out and with your lad catch more lads, use them to fight other, evil lad catchers and then, presumably, save the world.

Anyway, I decided to see what all the fuss has been about these past 25 odd years and picked more or less at random one of the games I already had on emulator, Pokemon not being famed as a franchise that evolves (hah) drastically from game to game. I ended up with Pokemon FireRed, which turned out to be a stroke of luck because it's a remake of the original Pokemon Red and since I do sort of kind of know the names of some of the Gen 1 lad roster, there was bit of familiarity there.

I picked Charmander (named him Chomp) and off we went. First off, catching new Pokemon never stopped being exciting. I suspect it's a similar effect as Gatcha machines, where you'll probably just encounter another goddamn Pidgey but there's also a small chance it could be something cool. Like, I was super hyped when I caught a Pikachu very early on because I assumed, being the mascot and all, it must be super strong, so I named him Thor. I was only whelmed by his performance in the end but fine.

I will say, up until maybe the second gym, the fights are quite well balanced and I felt challenged but not overpowered. This being a JRPG I had braced myself for a lot of grinding but I ended up needing to do very little, which is nice. Also nice is the manner by which I, as a new player, got eased into systems like type matching, items, etc. Sure, literal sign posts with "trainer tips" are a bit on the nose but overall I appreciated not having an encyclopedia chucked at my head first thing. There is in fact an encyclopedia in game but I rarely used it and had a lot of fun drawing my own little diagram with the types and their interactions as I figured them out.

Progressing onward, I would describe the game as monotonous yet absorbing, at least for a while.

Whoops, that loaded sentence needs unpacking. Right, so, while your lads are still levelling up frequently and you're still constantly encountering new species on the road, the travel and various battles are a way to pace out the excitement without ever allowing it to die away entierly. Cool, works for me. However, this stops being the case in later dungeons, when, in a spectacular display of misplaced confidence not seen since the Virtual Boy, the lvl12 Rattatas of the world still think it's a good idea to spit at my lvl32 Machoke's feet (named Chad obvs). Simple fix I can suggest there, weak ass baby pokemon should just automatically stop coming at you and not require a consumable item to avoid.

On a vaguely related note, in that even random encounters are unnecessarily drawn out, this game has too many text boxes. You can't scratch your ass in this game without 5 text boxes describing the smell of your butt sweat. It really needs turbo text rather than just fast text because every time I get into a fight or go into a pokecenter to heal my nigh expired Meowth (Marx, bc she redistributes capital by throwing it at ppl), after I once again forgot you're not supposed to use bite on Nidoran, I have to read through the nurse's unedited life story first. It's almost as thumbnumbingly tedious as navigating the PC and every other menu.

As a final criticism on the topic of monotony, I'd like to mention that the overworld trainer battles could have been handled better, fancied up a little, arranged with more care than the spoons in my cutlery drawer. How it usually works, is that they're copypasted in groups of 5-10 along a path and you just fight one after another. I feel like the same effect could have been achieved by just having, like, 3 unique trainers and they all just give you 3x as much XP.

XP distribution is of course an eternal sticking point in party-based RPGs but since you usually fight all of these trainers in a row you'll have the same team anyway. In general, the limited XP distribution means that to avoid grinding you pretty much have to limit yourself to one team (+ a couple of situational swap outs) that counters more or less every type, irrespective of whether they are your personal faves. On the other hand, this does help you get emotionally invested in those particular pokemon and their growth in an organic way, but then on the other other hand... well, we'll come back to that.

To be clear, none of these criticisms are dealbreakers, just quality of life issues and maybe signs of age, which I should hope have been adressed in the meantime. Do let me know.

Overall, I made my way through the game without too much trouble. The only gym I temporarily got stuck on was poison mcninjaman, which might have been because it was the one thing I did slightly out of order. I was generally surprised with how linear the game is but I really didn't mind that so much. It allows for more control in levelling and exploration. Speaking of which, one of my favorite features is how your lads can learn certain moves to make new areas accessible. It massages my metroidvania brain and is a neat way of letting the overworld and the "battling dimension" blend together a bit.

Finishing the elite four and absolutely trouncing my rival one last time was perfectly serviceable as finales go. Honestly though, it was the battles before that, on victory road, that were the most engaging because it contained some of the only trainers in the whole game that have diverse teams, not just four ambulatory flowers that fare against my pet flamethrower the way a white couch fares against a toddler with permanent marker.

Regardless, I got my title as lord high champion master trainer of all the strongest lads in the land and was actually excited to dive back in and fill out my Pokedex, fully explore Kanto and continue evolving my team (and maybe some of my benchwarmers). It was then, when I finally took to the internet to look up how to most efficiently turn Nosferatu, Haunter extraordinaire, into Nosferatu, Gengar spectacular, that I was delivered a gut punch which instantly obliterated any desire to keep playing or any recommendation for this game I might have made. See, you can't evolve some Pokemon (i.e. about half my team) into their final form without trading them with other players. Combined with the fact that you apparently can't get the other starters at all, you have no chance to even get remotely close to completing your Pokedex if, say, you're playing the game 20 years after it came out and it's on an emulator and thus not multiplayer compatible. This is a problem, to put it mildly.

I understand that nintendo wanted to encourage players to use the multiplayer features, but in a game that is still designed 99% around a singleplayer experience, it is just not ok to lock players who don't happen to have anyone to trade with out of crucial content like this. It clashes directly with the idea that you grow attached to your Pokemon through your adventures and that they will grow with you when eventually, no amount of rare candies, items or love you can bestow upon them will help. It's the much, much worse flipside of the limited XP problem, first forcing you to focus on a core team to the detriment of all the others and then putting a hard stop on that team's development. It would be possible grind XP if you really wanted that Alakazam but you can't magically conjure a friend (trust me on that). I could bear, like, one super special rare pokemon being exclusive to multiplayer but this is just bullying lonely kids and any astronauts who might be playing.

To summarize my overall opinion with a metaphor: Pokemon FireRed just about manages to squeeze into the crowded bus to Good Video Game town choking in Earthbound's musky armpit, only to be shoved out again on the second to last stop and faceplant into a concrete bench.

I would give Pokemon another chance if it didn't have that irredeemable anti-loner feature. Having said this, I've come to realize that, although I don't dislike the trainer battling, it was but the complementary bread rolls of this meal. I much preferred finding new Pokemon, figuring out how to best fight them without accidentally killing them/having them escape and exploring new areas. So I guess my ideal Pokemon game would be one where trainer duels are kept to a select few and instead the mechanics of finding and catching new lads as well as taking care of them are made more intricate (and less reliant on RNGesus).

Like Monster Hunter meets Nintendogs. Does that exist? Someone let me know if that exists.

[kareofbears]

persona 5 royal: my thoughts after finishing it five minutes ago

disclaimer: the only reason im writing this is because 1) i have a lot of thoughts and feelings that i need to write down and if i dont ill explode and 2) i want to be able to find this when p5s eventually drops so i can compare my thought processes. if you do not agree with what i’m going to say, that’s cool! just block me or ignore this post. 

now for the sake of sanity, i’m going to try and narrow down this entire list into chunks because this’ll probably be very very long and very much about me just screaming about stuff that i liked, loved, and don’t like. i will be spoiling both the original persona 5 and persona 5 royal, obviously, so i hope you finished both!

1) Akechi

so yes. Goro Akechi. Everyone’s favorite murderer. I’m going to by spewing a lot of hot takes, and this is probably going to be the spiciest: i am in the most intense love-hate relationship with this brown haired antagonist because jesus christ is he a complicated son of a bitch. I know i’ve complained in the past about how much Atlus often struggles with utilizing a character well, but that does not at all relate to Akechi in any way, shape, or form. 

I’ll say this now: He is a character I genuinely, truly hate, yet he is the one I want to hear from the most. He is someone who is a bad person (yes, he is a bad person) but whenever he comes on screen he makes me sit up, he makes me pay attention to him because that’s just the aura he exudes. He is a character who i would never, ever waste my time defending or justifying his actions, but every minute joker spends with him is a minute i want to stretch out as long as possible because he is just that good of a character. He is interesting, he is well defined, he is smart, he is clever, he is sassy, he’s a motherfucking asshole who’s never had a vibe check in my life and i still hate him. Goro Akechi is what Star Wars wanted Kylo Ren to be, and that allegory may not make sense to many people but it works for me so i’m saying it. It’s to the point where writing akechi in a fanfic makes me sweat because in my opinon capturing the essence of akechi is near impossible unless you know what you are talking about (i do not mean that in anyway to discourage people from writing him, im just saying that I am a coward because i will never be able to write a good akechi). Anyway, bottom line is: i despise him but my eyes are always glued to him at all times.

back to the main point-- Atlus absolutely nailed this character and every single addition they put in for Akechi. I’m so damn thrilled that you actually have confidant hangouts with him because every single time you talk to him, it services not only the plot, but it perfectly does what it is supposed to do: it makes you like him, but also leaves the player slightly unnerved. they do it so casually that I might have trouble explaining it, but bear with me: everytime you hangout with him, he always does or say something that unhinges you just a little bit, it leaves you asking ‘wait why?’ or ‘but how did you know that’ or ‘why are you saying that?’. akechi is constantly playing mind games with you. and not only that, adding backstory to akechi (moreso than in the original) is just fucking fantastic. he’s always been a fully fleshed out character but after playing royal, goro akechi actually exists in my mind, and i still hate him (but also i dont. but also i do. anyway)

2) the ending

just finished the game and this is the point where i am at odds with p5r for the first time. the ending to p5, in my opinion, was flawless; everything was perfect and had meaning. from the shot of akira being shown to not wearing glasses anymore because he no longer feels the need to wear a mask (character development: he was very unhappy at the beginning of the game and now he’s happy with his friends--i love it), to his friends being the one to drive him home (amazing, he left his home town and came to shibuya alone via transit, and one year later he’s now leaving with all of his best friends in a van they rented just so they could stay with him as long as they can--it’s perfect, i love it), and also all of them seeing how large and infinite the ocean is (because now there’s unlimited options for them because they all have a new perspective on life). 

But....none of that is there in p5r. it feels impersonal. no one drops him off at his hometown, he was still wearing glasses, and there’s no grand metaphor about what they all achieved. 

Now, i am not a (complete) moron. I know why they had to change it: it’s because of persona 5 scramble (i think). they wanted to set up a plot for the next game and i feel like thats the reason why persona 5 royal’s ending suffered for it: they were too focused on the next plot that they forgot to focus on the sentimental ending for p5r. don’t get me wrong, seeing akechi in the train station absolutely made me lose my shit and made me scream at one in the morning, but i think they lost the core meaning in doing the other stuff. i did not like the focus on maruki and kasumi (will be talking about them later), cause i feel like it took away from the ending, and i also didn’t like the fact that the whole joker outfit in the reflection thing (but i will be letting it slide since it was during the after credits anyway). So while i do love one (1) new aspect of the final cut scene, i still adore and stan the one from persona 5. 

3) the entire last semester 

i’ll be quick: the final palace? the best palace. fight me. it’s fantastic, it’s innovative, it’s interesting, and most of all, the palace ruler is actually the best one in the entire game and i know i wont be the only one to say this. maruki is not a villain: i know for a godamn fact that im not the only one to say that i almost agreed with his deal of allowing the reality (damn i almost agreed twice) because why wouldnt you?? it’s literally a perfect reality! the only reason i didnt agree is because i knew the game wouldnt want me to agree and would force me to have the bad ending! anyway, i love the last section so much. the palace design is interesting, the antagonist is brilliant (who doesn’t love a morally gray antagonist?), and finally, the payoff of kasumi happened and it made me silent for ten minutes. the entire reveal of her being sumire and kasumi being dead is just so genuinely shocking to me that it nearly broke my neck.

what actually broke my neck was the initial incident for the third semester. seeing everyone in this wild alternate reality made me so unsettled that i literally got a stomach ache. i saw morgana as a human and nearly passed out. shiho in the underground? wig. ryuji saying he’s on the national pedastal for running? literally my eyebrows just popped off my head. fucking WAKABA? FLATLINED. brilliantly executed and i love the initial akechi and akira buddy cop movie vibes in the beginning it was just so fun. 

one huge part of the third semester for me though, was of course, akechi. seeing him completely throw away his ‘charming ace detective’ speil was the most refreshing and interesting and not to mention, hilarious part of the game. he does not give a fuck about anyone and he is not afraid to let you know. he is the biggest savage and the most insane person on the phantom thieves group. he’ll roast you, he’ll roast your boyfriend, he’ll roast fuckin anyone and it’s fantastic. not to mention his dialogue is killer: he says the most bat shit insults ever and my favorite example is when you go up to him near the end of the game, you know, to hangout with him and be a nice guy, he just does not hesitate to say ‘what, you came just to see me? just the sort of brainless sentimentality i’d expect from you.’ i LOVE IT because why the hell would he try to be nice? the jig is up, he’s got nothing to hide. and he owns it. atlus seriously nailed akechi in this last semester and it’s brilliant and i love it.

4) everything else 

- one small thing that pissed me off in both games (but especially this one) is how many godamn fake out deaths there are. Morgana has one, Akira has one, Ryuji has one, Sojiro has one, Maruki has one, motherfucking Akechi has two. it just hurts me!

- sumire is an amazing character who has depth and she is lovely and my biggest complaint is that it feels like atlus shoved her in. like, she feels like a new addition to the game, you know what  i mean? maybe its because ive played the original p5 first, but you know, it’s not a big deal. but i love her so much

- on the topic of sumire, i cant say that im completely super duper happy with how different she felt from the other thieves? im sure that’ll be explained in p5s but she just got so much screen time that it just truly made me confused?? maybe im just a horrible person, or that’s just a really hot take. but anyway, yeah maybe im bitter because i really wanted to see extra hangouts/school trips during royal, but didn’t really.

-baton pass? literally orgasmic. it made turn base battles so damn fun and the addition of darts and billiards made me foam at the mouth it was SO SMART AND INNOVATIVE AND I LOVE IT ATLUS I LOVE YOU ATLUS YOURE SO SMART SWEETIE

-small thing, but making spells like ‘dormina’ actually useful just made the game so much more fun and dungeon crawling became something i truly, genuinely looked forward to

-being able to give gifts to my bros? absolutely incredible. thank you. side note: seeing akechi happy from giving him a multi vitamin cracked me up. side side note: giving ryuji a fuck ton of weights and him just smiling made my heart so happy i love that boy so much

- ah this game just looked so GOOD! i thought the original looked good but they really went all out. im not kidding, the smallest details in everyday life or even just normal cut scenes were out of this world. especially stuff from the third semester its just OOF good JOB atlus i love you buddy

-ahhh thieves den! how can i forget? i love it. at first i was a bit iffy with it since it really felt like persona 5 (undoubtedly the biggest game atlus has created) was just jacking itself off. but as time goes on, it became a huge addition to the game and seeing characters’ insights and extra lines of dialogue became super duper interesting and a highlight of the game for me. and don’t even get me started on how much i love love love the photos they added of them hanging out! so lovely, a bunch of them made me tear up

- i know it’s literally impossible, but i feel like the game just forgot that akechi is a person who can wield multiple persona and i just wish that could’ve been messed around with during Palaces

- showtimes are so, so crazy and i get so embarassed whenever they play on my tv because they are just outlandish and unashamed but i love them so so much it just defines persona’s personality 

-because i love ryuji: i prefer the final conversation you have with him aka ‘whaddya mean? you’re there’ but there’s still a lot of really tender and sweet moments like akira genuinely telling him that he’ll miss him, and also the fact that ryuji wants you both to send each other your times through the exercise watch so you can still race ahhhh i love him so much yall

so, overall, this game is better than the original p5 because of the extra content we get. if persona 5 was the perfect dinner, persona 5 royal is that same dinner and you get to enter the dessert buffet. it’s brilliant, it’s smart, it’s hilarious, it’s heartwarming, and it’s undoubtedly my favorite game of all time without exaggeration. while i do prefer the final cut scene (and final dialogues with some characters) in the original persona 5, in the overall experience, persona 5 royal is superior in my mind. i would willingly get amnesia to play this game again. 

I didn’t get to cover everything, but this is definitely most of what i wanted to say. if you actually get to reading all the way to the end, thanks! it means a lot. i hope we can all enjoy persona and look forward to persona 5 scramble together :-)