#she’s my baby I’ve been having brainworms about

[robomusical]

Hrrrggg everything hurts. Thinking about the MegOP sparkling (I need names, but am thinking about naming her Stronghold) I’ve had rattling around in brain for the past month or so, so here goes, continuity soup because I said so. This is… a long one 😅

So we start with the usual pre war MegOP situation with Gladiator Megs and Archivist Orion, who go talk to the high council and yadah yadah, you know what happens next. (think TFP) OP gets the Matrix and Megatron is betrayed and starts up his intergalactic terrorist group (yippee!) When he finds out, Uh-Oh! He carrying and it’s Optimus’s… he freaks out pretty hard but WaveWave is there to support him during his pregnancy (Soundwaves a bit jealous about not being the one who’s currently carrying but is excited to see/raise a new spark). Eventually he has the baby and there are a few.. complications.

1. Sparklings are supposed to have strong bonds with their carrier and sire, but in Strongholds case, they have no sire bond with Optimus (the matrix prevented it), which causes her to have spark flutters (essentially heart problems) causing the little one lots of pain with no exception of expressing it but crying/being a fussy baby while she’s young. The only was they find this out is with Soundwaves telepathy, something they are VERY grateful for.

2. Megatron suffers from GREATLY from postpartum depression, and can’t even bear to look at his daughter. He can bring himself to feed her or try to establish any type of bond between the two and ends up hating her and what she stands for in his mind (having OP and trying to have a family with him)

This causes the young heiress to be raised by the deception high command with very little input on Megatrons behalf besides being an abusive mom and wanting her to be a warrior. She’s mainly being raised by Wavewave, the elite trine and Hook due to having to be in the med bay almost constantly in her sparkling hood. As a sparkling she showed major talent and interests in the arts, something that was supported by their caregivers, but almost gets beaten to death by Megatron finds out she wants to be an artist and not a warrior. (Megatron has “training” sessions with her, where she essentially gets beaten half to death but her carrier, who claims it’ll make her stronger. And when she’s finally able to beat him, she’ll be able to lead the decepticons) (this also leads to her hiding her passions) This is how she wins over Starscream and he decides to help raise/guide her (and who knows, maybe one day he or she will kill Megatron and he’ll be the leader of the decepticons) She’s raised to be a master spy (Soundwave) and interrogator/torturer (Shockwave and Starscream). Eventually though the war starts to pick up and everyone is headed to earth (think G1, but shockwave goes with the decepticons) leaving Stronghold alone on Cybertron with Rumble, Buzzsaw, Thundercraker, and the Constructicons to watch/take care of her; and her mentor Tarn (and the rest of the DJD) and a few other decepticons at about ~10 years old to Cybertronian standards. She finds herself forced to grow up and lead the Decepticons, being raised by the most ruthless and cunning bots has its advantages, and she ends up quickly taking out the Autobots on Cyberton leading the planet under Decepticon rule. However there was complications with the others (G1 style, went missing for a few billion years type-beat) She grows up a warlord, conquering Autobot territory’s and wiping them out, searching for her lost family comrades, with the Deceptions ruling the galaxy, (exterminating the Autobots and making allies with/converting Neutrals). She’s ends up creating a vast and powerful empire (Thundercraker, Hook and Tarn are very proud).

On earth is the normal G1 -> Earthspark timeline, expect I ignore everything that happens after s1. Soundwave manages to get a SOS comm into deep space, which gets intercepted to the Decepticon empire. This happens around/a little after her spark almost gave out, as her carrier/sparkling bond was broken with Megatron, which was assumed to be due to his death. This made her spark unstable, and made her even more vulnerable to her spark attacks (also her occasional maniac episodes go worse/more common) She leads a ship to Earth where she finds that not only is her carrier ALIVE, which means he LEFT her HE DOESNT WANT HER HE NEVER WANTED HER- but also joined the enemy. And started a new family, one without her This is also how she and Optimus find out they’re related, because honestly, Meg’s forgot all about her. (Also, megaton has more of a major role in the Terran’s lives, which leaves Stronghold seething, swearing to end them) ((You know when/how Megatrons calls Twitch “little bird”? THAT USED TO BE HER NICKNAME SHE USED TO BE HIS LITTLE BIRD WHEN HE WAS HAPPY WITH HER)) (think of when shockwave was racist towards the Terran’s) Stronghold finds out that the decepticons have been stranded on earth, and have been being tortured by Autobots and their human allies (GHOST). She stages a jailbreak for the others and begins to plan war with the others left on earth (she’s not leaving until Megatrons head is on a platter and she’s ripped the matrix out of OP’s chest). (They chill in the atmosphere like the Nemesis in prime) Needless to say, Shockwave Soundwave and Starscream are very surprised/proud to see her and her accomplishments (if not sad that she (now about 15) had to grow up so fast and what has happened to her)

There are a few ways this AU can end and there’ll prolly be a few alt timelines… 👀

Uhh anyways that’s it,,, I hope you like her and I will probably draw the creature soon

(Please please ask me about her and my silly little AU 🥺🥺🥺)

[teaandinanity]

7KPP Week, Day 1: Background (remix)

Fair warning to my followers, it is that time again and I'm gonna be posting Nonsense for the next week (if the executives function and I manage to be productive) or at least a few days of it (if the executives are typically dysfunctional).

Putting this under a cut because just the blather is Long and then the ficlet for Baby Weaver Valya is Longer.

Day 1's prompts were

What is your character's background and why did you pick it? How do they feel about it? If you've talked about this before, you can instead consider the following: Have you considered using an existing MC for one of the secret backgrounds? Is there another background you think might be interesting for your MC? Elements of another background you could incorporate into them for an AU?

Calanthia is a Widow because I wanted a Katyia's Legacy MC and found Widow easiest to min/max. Valeriya came into existence because I did Lyon’s date on Calanthia just to see what it was like and immediately said ‘oh no’ because it is My Exact Jam. Then I went ‘… does he still say you’re a good person if you are Entirely Morally Neutral’ and then the answer was YES and I got brainworms SO bad. Valya hates pretty much everything about being a Widow because everything about her backstory is worse than Calanthia’s. Anthy’s parents are bumbling idiots with no financial or political acumen but she and her siblings figured out how to manage them by the time she was like 13. Valya’s parents are genuinely bad people made infinitely worse by unhappiness with their circumstances and are cruel to each other and their children and the next-oldest of her siblings actively hates her and tries to ruin her life on a regular basis. Anthy’s marriage was of course mercenary but it was also mutually beneficial and she and her husband were friends. Valya’s marriage was a nightmare; she was justifiably terrified going in, she was way too young, she went through with it mostly because she knew she’d outlive him even if she had to get blood on her hands to make sure of it and because otherwise her mother (who hated her a lot for being ‘the reason’ she had to marry her husband and therefore also ‘the reason’ her life has sucked so much since) would have seen her married to less advantage and to someone she really would have been shackled to for the rest of her inevitably-much-shortened life. Anthy is older and well-adjusted. Valya is still in her teens, traumatized, and just DESPERATELY wants to be safe. The main thing they have in common is that they fall in love and go ‘oh no.’

I’ve considered making Valeriya a Weaver, and I really want to try that once the secret backgrounds are in the game! It’s interesting to consider how DIFFERENT her life would have been if her mother had NOT married her father and just gone off to the countryside and then sent her oops baby away to be raised by her sister in Arland. Valya would be so much more well-adjusted under those circumstances, so she’s probably much happier and way less tentative with Lyon.

Probably also less careful in general, and more apt to meddle, so I imagine there’s at least one extra assassination attempt. The rest of her life probably looks very similar, though; after her marriage, even a very traumatized Valya grows into her new life and eventually feels very happy and safe.

I’ve also considered making Anthy a Weaver because I think it would be fun to do Jasper’s romance on a Weaver. I have considered making her a Historian for the same reason and because that would make the ‘you don’t have to act. I will.’ line hit like a TRAIN. We'll see how I feel about all of that once the secret BGs are in; the one I'm sure of is that I'll be trying Weaver Valya.

With that initial meta babbling out of the way:

On to the Fic!

She isn’t in the least Arlish and she is made to know it very young. She doesn’t mind, though; she looks like her aunt, and her uncle looks at both of them like they’re marvelous.

The fifth time she is allowed to attend a dinner party with her guardians, the first time she is permitted to separate from both of them to play with a few of the other children present, one of the other guests says something unkind. Valeriya hardly notices; the lady isn’t very important, and her opinion is so much hot air. But the other children freeze, and look at her, and she realizes she has to respond. Valeriya raises her chin the way she has seen her aunt do and says,

“I see why you’ve come over to play with the children, Lady T--- - you certainly still need a governess to teach you manners.”

It’s not the graceful set-down her aunt might have managed, but she’s nine. And the adults close enough to overhear all seem to feel, nonetheless, that she’s won the bout, especially when the lady flushes and flounders and can’t seem to come up with a rejoinder.

When they leave, her aunt slips her a few dried cranberries, clearly a reward, and her uncle puts a warm hand on the crown of her head with an approving smile.

“Well done, little Valiant.”

Her aunt laughs and asks why he’s never given her an Arlish nickname drawing him into a bantering conversation that means Valeriya doesn't have to respond. Instead, she considers the name. It’s a nice gift. She likes it.

Courage isn’t a virtue often ascribed to Arlish girls, but then--

She’s not Arlish.

--

Aunt Eleonora has been away for a week visiting friends. That’s what she said when she left, at least – that she was going to visit two of her friends. It may or may not be true; it’s entirely possible that she is instead averting an international incident, or perhaps even causing one, but if it’s either of those, she didn’t see fit to mention it to Valeriya prior to her departure, and Valeriya didn’t notice any of the usual signs and appurtenances of an aunt intending to involve herself in something exciting.

Regardless, factually, Aunt Eleonora is presently from home. In her absence, Uncle Earnest is the one who receives the post.

He isn’t the type to open anything addressed specifically to his wife. He’s good like that. Eleonora genuinely loves him because he’s good like that. Also because he doesn’t ask too many questions if someone turns up dead somewhere she’s recently been, even if it’s someone he knows her to have been profoundly annoyed with. Valeriya honestly cannot tell if he deliberately cultivates a certain ignorance or if it has simply never occurred to him – a good man, in the pure and simple manner of a friendly dog – that his wife may occasionally moonlight in murder.

It likely helps that Aunt Eleonora is scarcely taller or broader than Valeriya, who at fourteen is far from finished growing, and has wide, innocent eyes that she can use to great effect. Aunt Eleonora isn’t what people imagine when they picture a murderer. It’s not as if she does the thing with her own hands, but she’s certainly culpable for at least two deaths, and that’s just the ones Valeriya knows about.

Valeriya feels that she probably ought to disapprove of that. Probably.

In principle, certainly, she disapproves of murder.

Duke Adam absolutely deserved it, though; she spoke to the maid who was serving them while they visited and she’d have swung a poker at the back of his head herself if she’d thought a twelve-year-old girl could muster sufficient force to do the thing in a sufficiently decided fashion to effect the desired result. Whoever her aunt arranged to deliver the blow had significantly more arm strength than Valya can ever personally aspire to. Might’ve been one of the stable boys, but in this case, Valeriya elected to cultivate her own willful ignorance so that dropped hints would elicit only the truest blank incomprehension.

Aunt Eleonora approved; it doesn’t do to cause problems for the people willing to do your dirty work.

Cold-blooded murder generally ought to be avoided. Of course it ought. Occasionally, however, someone thinks power will insulate them from the consequences of being a horrible person. Aunt Eleonora does not think that ought to be the case.

Valeriya can't bring herself to disagree, and so she cannot disapprove of her aunt's inclination, in such instances, to be a surgical implement that excises such cancer from the body of their adoptive nation.

Valeriya once overheard one of her aunt’s friends imply it was the Revairan in them, and of course their birth nation has acquired a certain reputation for bloody hands and ruthlessness. It’s a silly conclusion, though.

She’s overheard enough conversations in the halls of power, sheltering in her aunt’s shadow. She knows how cheaply Arlish nobles hold the lives of a hundred, even a thousand, peasants. They pretend to be appalled by the bloody purges in their neighbor, but dressing suffering and sacrifice up in courtly manners and talk of duty doesn’t reduce the resultant suffering. Pretty words don’t make their own victims any less dead.

Valeriya has been informed she is not allowed at court again until she’s better at keeping her face as still as her tongue. She’s good at being quiet. She’s less-skilled, apparently, in keeping her judgmental disapprobation from showing when people are being overtly terrible right in front of her at dinner.

In any case, for reasons benign or otherwise, her aunt is from home, and thus it is Uncle Earnest who receives the post.

Valeriya saw the envelope; the direction was only to this house, not to her aunt specifically. It came from Revaire.

Likely more bad news; the news from Revaire is never really good. The most recent round of purges seems to be over, but the current regime won their throne with blood and have shed significantly more to maintain it. The internal unrest has made them uneasy neighbors, although Valya personally thinks that the turmoil makes them unlikely to actually have the strength to threaten other nations, particularly Arland; with the marriage alliances currently in place, anyone attacking Arland is liable to find themselves facing the combined armies of three nations on the field.

Her aunt has been upset by much of what they’ve heard, although not upset enough to set up reprisals against anyone. Valya sympathizes somewhat, but she doesn’t know anyone in Revaire, not the way her aunt does. Aunt Eleonora grew up there, and does not entirely despise her family. Valeriya wasn’t even born in the ancestral home of their family, and was fetched across the border with a wetnurse before she was two weeks old.

The conviction that it is bad news is borne out by the way her uncle acts when he comes back out of his study. He spends much of lunch very overtly not staring at her, and much of the afternoon passing by the doorway while their governess oversees their history lesson – or rather, while Valeriya is engaged in the process of a takeover, because she’s better-read on Katyia and the first Summit than Miss Henrietta, and she loves this subject, and Merit is asking questions which Henrietta is not equipped to answer without consulting reference materials but which Valeriya knows by heart.

He finally does address her, when Henrietta has taken Merit off to help her dress for dinner – an indignity she, at ten, has not yet escaped, but which Valeriya, at the advanced age of fourteen, has been long-since liberated from.

(Merit likes people helping her dress. Valeriya personally prefers to see to her own affairs. Aunt Eleonora says Merit is well-adapted to life in Arland, but she says it with a certain tone that carefully contains no disappointment; there’s a reason she takes Valeriya with her on some of her visits but almost always leaves Merit at home, and it’s not solely down to their respective ages.)

“Valya, dear,” Uncle Earnest says, sad-eyed as a hound dog, soft-voiced. Yes, assuredly bad news. She finds herself more curious than trepidatious, but holds herself very still and looks up at him. Not so far, though, not anymore.

“I’m so sorry,” he tells her gently. “Your mother is dead.”

For half a heartbeat, all she feels is confused.

She doesn’t have a mother. She has an aunt and an uncle and two cousins. But she takes her cue from her uncle’s expression even before she's really managed to make herself understand the information: She ought to be upset. She pushes her face into something more appropriate than blank incomprehension, wide eyes and raised brows, a soft mouth, and her uncle – a good man to his bones – reaches for her shoulder, offering contact, and then folding her into a comforting hug that she receives with real gratitude when she leans into it.

It lets her hide her face and think.

She has never met her mother. Well, she must have, after a fashion, but not really. Not as a person rather than a squalling larvae full of needs rather than thoughts. Now, she supposes, she never will.

Should that upset her?

She feels very little about the matter. A stranger is dead. Many strangers die every day; she is only moderately bothered about it, in general.

In this case…

Maybe it's awful, but she thinks she may be a little relieved. She can never be made to leave this life, which is comfortable and familiar, and be taken away to a strange place simply because the people there have a claim on her by being her nearest blood kin.

She will have to be careful not to let that show.

--

Aunt Eleonora tries, the year she turns sixteen, to talk to her about boys. About trouble girls can get into, liking boys.

Valeriya realizes, repulsed,

“Is this because Baron Cammus’s son was being stupid at me?”

It’s safe, here, to be so gracelessly blunt; they’re alone in Aunt Eleonora’s private parlor, and she’s allowed to be both honest and overt here, the way she never allows herself in public anymore. She doesn’t bother to hide her absolute revulsion, and Aunt Eleonora laughs.

There’s a note of relief in it.

“Ah, I should have known better. You won’t make your mother’s mistake.”

Her mother sent her away because she’s a bastard. She was lucky that she had family who could easily take her in to raise her up to the same station in life as her kin, rather than dumping her at an orphanage. She’s not ignorant enough not to have some idea what might have happened to her, if she hadn’t been lucky.

“I won’t,” she swears.

--

“I want to go to the Summit,” she tells her aunt.

Eleonora looks at her consideringly.

“You’re a touch young for it,” she muses, “but Arland does prefer to send girls who are young and pretty. In theory at least, Arlish girls who attend are supposed to know they’ve a duty to marry for the benefit of their nation, and it’s easier to persuade them of that if they’re too young to have formed any real opinions on the matter.”

Valeriya keeps her face perfectly still but for the slightest quirk of one brow, and her aunt inclines her head.

“I do think you might do well. Prove it to me, dear.”

She could ensure Valya got a spot on the delegation, but winning her own place is a test of her abilities. A test to see if she truly would do well with the opportunity. She feels a spark of satisfaction; she’d expected as much, and she does like to be correct. She presents the letter – penned by the queen’s secretary, but signed and sealed by her highness’s own hand – and her aunt smiles, bright and broad and ferocious.

--

Her aunt is happy to be seeing her off; she has a few errands for her niece to attend to on Vail Isle, and instructions on the precise wording she should use greeting Wellin’s chaperone, and encouragement to stretch her wings. Her uncle is actually crying a bit.

Well; he’s Arlish. He might actually think she means to make a miserable marriage for herself. It’s what nearly every other girl Arland has ever sent to the Summit does, including their paragon of a princess just seven years past.

He hugs her, and she hugs him back.

“Make us proud, Little Valiant.”

It’s still not at all a girlish Arlish virtue, but it is one she wants to embody. With the political situation so tenuous, with the way she intends to get involved, she will need to be brave.

"I will," she promises.

[wlwanakin]

You asked for Grelle asks, so I have some!

1. Do you think she regrets killing Ann?

2. What does she think of her job? Does she see it as a means to redemption? Or does she feel trapped and not care, since she’s broken so many rules?

3. What do you think her human life was like? Family dynamics?

BLESS U i love these questions

1. she 1000% regrets killing her and you cannot convince me otherwise. it’s like pulling teeth to get her to admit it but it was such an impulse move that she definitely did not think out and the severity of the literal murder she committed doesn’t hit until after the fact. grell and anne were definitely like…insanely codependent and there’s no way their relationship wasn’t tumultuous and i’ve always hced that grell regularly tries to test the limits by sabotaging the relationship when she’s pissed except OOPS this time she can’t take it back. and she pretends it doesn’t haunt her but it very much does and she misses her so bad and wants to jump off a cliff about it.

2. she deserted the second she saw a hot girl covered in blood to go kill people so she’s definitely not that worried about her immortal soul. i think bc of the fact that she’s trans in the 1800s (a definitively unfun combination) she probably already had brainworms drilled into her head about her existence being sinful or whatever (i’m just assuming she was raised christian cuz like. probably) so when she bites it and is presented with a variation on purgatory and the eventual promise of something vaguely heavenlike she’s just like “hm are we sure about that” which is probably part of her willingness to say fuck it and commit atrocities. there’s also the existential terror of it all cuz like killing yourself and then being immortal is a Bad Predicament and worse when u add the trans layer and that probably contributed to her general attitude and probably made her not very fond of the divine powers that be. so i feel like her mindset is kinda just “idk if i wanna go to heaven this god guy kinda sucks.” so yeah she just sucks up work to pay her divine rent and also cuz the immortality thing makes her able to express herself but the actual redemptive point of reapering is not something that she cares about that much and she kinda thinks she might be a lost cause at this point. it’s just a job to her.

3. *cracks knuckles* oh i could talk about this FOREVERRRR my backstory for her is so fucking detailed for no reason. but yeah her human life SUCKED! it sucked real bad. she was a sad little pushover with an abusive dad and a mom who Did Not Want Her and she lived with them until she died. she was a Problem Child and she kinda just retreated into herself the older she got bc she was trying to not get abused about it. she has def always been deeply unstable and that was noticeable to the people around her (including her parents who Did Not Like That and were generally ashamed of her) and bc of that she was a very lonely person.

her dad was a bookbinder (according to my notes app. i think i looked up like middle class jobs 1810s or something but if that’s inaccurate just replace it with like a standard middle class job. point is her family was normal and boring financially). her mom was significantly younger than her dad and did not want to be married to him but was essentially baby trapped and grell faced the brunt of that resentment. very bad household to exist in general but especially when u are a deeply mentally ill queer child. they were also religious which is just another fun layer bc i like projecting my horrible experiences onto my blorbos. but yeah grell grew up in that hellish house and never got out. she wanted to pursue acting but it never went anywhere. she had a brief on and off fling with a guy in her early 20s but she was uncomfortable for gender reasons she could not verbalize so she basically sabotaged the shit out of it. she stuck it out until she was 27 but after years of literally nothing good or interesting happening ever and her just constantly feeling miserable and like peeling off her own skin she reached a breaking point and boom now she is immortal. would go into more detail but i’m too lazy to do the historical research rn lmao

[local-redhead-bookworm]

hi! im sorry but i have such mcgillis almiria siblings in a nice world brainworms. and nobody else in this tiny little circle GETS IT! so pardon this stranger for screaming. i would love more of your thoughts on this as well :3

like yk gaelio is a sweetie and loves her dearly but he's also a little shit who bullies her like carta bullies him. but mcgillis would always be so respectful and kind and gentle with her (like he is anyway!!). he'd spoil her like crazy. give her a sweet tooth etc etc

and thinking how theyd actually get to love each other as sibs! she'd have been raised with him as her brother, not as someone she got forcibly engaged to at five!!! like how sweet would they be if they could have had a normal, non-political/royal life. i want them to just like. hang out. (feat. gaelio pouting bc he swears his best brother status is being yoinked)

almiria deserves two brothers (and a sister) to dote on her and love her and mcgillis deserves all the love from them, even though izn*rio would be an ok parent in this nice . extremely far from the truth world

Please don’t apologize, I’d love to listen to you scream about them! I’ve been thinking about what good siblings they could have been in another life too because canon makes me sad. Almiria and McGillis are two extremely important facets to IBO’s overall commentary on the exploitation of children, and they and the place their dynamic has in that commentary doesn’t get nearly enough attention. But that’s a whole other post! Happy thoughts:

Gaelio definitely affectionately bullies Almiria, but I feel like she’s the sibling that everyone gets along with. She’s the baby, and she’s so sweet, they all can’t help but love her. I feel like she’s also down for all kinds of chaos though. Climbing trees with Carta, playing pranks with Gaelio, just reading with McGillis, she’s down for any of it! She also definitely forces them all to participate in play tea parties. Also I don’t know why, but I feel like she’d wind up reading a lot of plays and would rope the others into acting those plays out with her.

I spend too much time thinking about them getting to just do silly sibling things. He’s definitely the one Almiria goes to if she’s being affectionately bullied by Gaelio or if she’s having problems with others not taking her seriously, and I also feel like he’d be her favorite to talk to. She’d have the philosophical questions you only get from a kid her age and McGillis would just answer completely seriously. I think he’d be a very introverted kid, also the most level-headed and practical about things. But if they can rope him into plotting a prank, it’s going to be THE most well-planned prank in history.

Almiria is such a lovely character and she didn’t deserve all that trauma, and I genuinely think that if McGillis had been able to accept their love, it would have saved him. In my version of the happy AU, either McGillis is just adopted by the Bauduins, or Iznario is actually a good person who took one look at the traumatized blond child, adopted said kid, and proceeded to be the best father ever. Newly adopted McGillis is like a feral cat learning to accept all this affection, but once he knows he’s safe and loved, he thrives.

[bestworstcase]

clearly the wonderland stuff has hit critical mass because it’s 6 AM and i’m lying here wide awake trying to line up thoughts in order of which ones i want to write out most except i keep bumping into more SO LIKE. send help i am losing my grip

- kernel of a thought i’ve been gnawing on for a while now that there’s a pattern to the wonderland allusion that i can’t quite put my finger on yet. but it’s like—there’s a sort of temporal wobbliness to what and when that feels like it might be something but also just continual swirling it all around D4, D6 and D7, looping in the aaiw stuff and the red queen by constructing new associations (the queen of hearts was the red king, the duchess’s baby becomes the jabberwalker, the cat leads to hatter leads to hatta, the caterpillar lives in the forest where ruby loses her ‘name’, the beach is the garden is the pool of tears is the island for hunting the snark (<- are the mice the bellman’s crew lol. what are they hunting) and like the connecting thread here is mirrored pairs, the tweedles and hatter/hatta and the immanent reflection of the self in mirror-written jabberwocky, with the cat emerging as both the cheshire cat and humpty dumpty to the jabberwalker’s poetry (<- which draws another circle around neo and the jabberwalker in that the cat belongs to the duchess and the duchess is fanatically concerned with meaning in a way that sits kitty-corner to humpty dumpty’s determination not to let denotative meaning get in his way) and then there’s this undergirding idea of ascension and like—never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them otherwise. the you you wanted to be when you were still you. it’s a matter of perspective, i’m afraid. & they want to get to the tree but can’t but the intertextual layer of the narrative has them oscillating back and forth between primarily D6 and D7; they are so close to winning the game but they can’t see the forest for the tree—and the tree functions like looking glass gardens and perhaps more saliently like the red queen, in that alice wants to meet the red queen but cannot find her until she turns about-face and walks away. (“her tree” huh.) (the blacksmith is the tree is the queen; all the ways about here belong to her and, of course, a cat can look at a king. or a queen.)

- the speaker, the subject, the jabberwock; the knight, jaune, the jabberwalker? (<- also occurring to me suddenly that the reason the only critters from the first stanza not present in the marketplace are the raths is, the duchess’s baby turns into a pig—and a rath is a sort of green pig—and neo is both lost and driven by wrath—and her constructs have recently gained the ability to outgribe.)

- in light of the jabberwalker being the story’s [unwritten, unfinished] ending i am feeling SOME TYPE OF WAY about specifically houston!worst day of my life bc like. man. “once upon a time/i knew who i was/some of it was true.” “i feel as if i’m caught between/what i say and what i mean” “could there be someone else to blame/for why it always feels the same/inside this woman i became” MAN.

- actually yeah no no more equivocating someone on the writing team saw this musical during the houston run. i don’t care who i don’t care to confirm i just know in my heart where all the brainworms live. what’s your title/what’s your purpose :)

- c o r n w i n k l e

- laughing hysterically forever about what this implies about ozlem OH YOU MEANT DIVORCED DIVORCED. LOL. LMAO

- ahem.

- wonderland—more precisely hunting of the snark—has a particular invocation of the rule of three (anything said thrice is true) and given the obvious fun rwby could have with an idea like that i’m wondering if we’ll see it repeated in the ever after in some capacity, whether as a literal narrative rule within the ever after or thematically. it occurs to me that it might have done already; “i am a huntress” is repeated thrice before crashing into ruby’s existential dread and uncertainty (<- the beaver loses count and mathematical panic ensues, which incidentally is also the part of the poem where the jubjub bird appears and, further incidentally for the bees people in the audience, is also the bonding moment in which the friendship between the butcher and the beaver becomes so homoerotic that there’s academic discourse about whether the beaver might actually be female, so make of that what you will.)

- the lively carpenter is not the blacksmith so Question Mark. the thing is the walrus and the carpenter is the tweedles’ poem so its inclusion fits the 4/6/7 focus and it connects to both the forest without names and the red king directly, and perhaps to the jabberwalker in the more roundabout sense that where jabberwocky is a poem about slaying a creature the walrus and the carpenter is about people behaving monstrously. who’s the carpenter and what are the oysters

[em-exceeds-change-zearu]

After finding this blog and going through your Pokémon posts sometime ago, I found the Golden Boy/Golden Dad AU and innocently a question popped into my mind;

“I wonder what would have happened if Bert had remembered to release Ravindra from the stone orb… would Ash have grown up with a prickly yet protective older brother?”

It’s been a few months since then and ever since I’ve been suffering with brainrot from this hypothetical AU. I might try to write a fic just to put the plot bunnies to bed. Thank you and curse you for inspiring my brain and I hope your having a fantastic day!

I AM A POX UPON THEE

but in return you are a pox upon me, oh my god this au will never die and i love it for that, thank you for bringing back the brainworms and i am very glad that you care very much about this au

anyways, i hope you know that I too, have considered the "what ifs" of this kind of AU as well? here's the main takeaway from this:

bert still takes like 50+ years to do this, because that is the normal amount of time to put a semi-immortal legendary baby in time out. he does not realize how much 50 years is to a human person until he untransforms ravindra and has to deal with the kid immediatly trying to bite off his ankles

ravindra, understandably, takes a long time to forgive dear old dad for. all that. but seeing the direct results of what happened (the burned tower incident, the Pokelantis Empire in its decline and disappearing, etc) does in fact help him come around. Eventually. Give him a century or two.

the downside of this is that Ravindra is even MORE of a people-hater than Berthold, if one can believe that. after all, the base of bert's tragedy with Pokelantis and the Burned Tower is that Bert truly loved humans and their potential, and he's never able to completely let go of that lingering hope - hence the legends saying that Ho-Oh will appear before a person with pure heart. Ravindra, on the other hand, had only largely negative experiences with the people who raised him, given that he was raised as a status symbol to the point where even his mother began to take advantage of him. Being raised in isolation and retroactively realizing that was done with the intent of being only used as a puppet ruler does a lot to a dude.

yes this means he is SUPER prickly towards delia at first. he does not trust like that. he fully believes that she would sell him and ash for a single corn chip if given the opportunity. he's so conflicted because he wants bert to leave her but he doesn't want bert to make the same mistake in not being part of ash's life that he did with him. obviously this belief whittles over time because you can't not love delia, but it does take a LOT of time, and also maybe a mishap where he runs away with ash, once, because somebody has to make the correct decisions around here,

the funnier thing about this is that Bert is actually maybe a little more human-savvy this time around. like, more emotionally prepared to raise a kid, i mean. because he had ravindra for like, thousands of years at this point. he is actually Not An Overbearing Pompous Dad and maybe kinda cool? (he is not cool at all, actually)

ash on the other hand? ravindra would die for this kid. he absolutely adored ash the moment he laid eyes on him. he wants the world for this boy, he would burn the world to cinders if it ever hurt him, except he can't because that would make ash sad. that's his brother now. he maybe tries to dissuade ash from trying out a pokemon journey because why would you want to live as a People, but ash is very YOLO about this. he can only grow to be one hundred once big brother let him be a people with a normal age first

as an aside i have no idea if you were ever in the discord where I shared brainrot thoughts once, but I mentioned once that I decided to make Ravindra a shiny Ho-Oh, because the muted silver-and-gold colors reflect his faded plumage from being sealed away for so long. it also reflects in his human appearance as well - he's somewhere in between Bert's dramatically tanned skin and gleaming golden hair + reddish-brown eyes and Ash's own dark hair + deep brown eyes. so he's got faded silver hair and faded golden-brown eyes - he looks old, and almost wraith-like compared to the other two despite his youthful appearance. This AU version of Ravindra doesn't look nearly as faded since he's only been sealed for 50 years, though, so his silver hair and gold eyes are much more vibrant, and definitely resides somewhere between ash's wild birdnest fluff and bert's perfectly straightened locks.

anyways thank you for sharing in the brainrot, i would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this, i just woke up to see this so forgive me if i don't sound particularly coherent

[cattles-bians]

the 'um. are our exes dating' damie thread

post directory

em: unfortunately i have ‘rebecca as jamies old flame’ brainworms and ‘viola as danis old flame’ brainworms bc lesbians sure be forming these intricate webs of exes

obsetress: bestie the best part of this is that, like all exes, dani and jamie end up together, but so do rebecca and viola, yes this is canon and no i will not be taking questions

em: holy SHIT now THAT is a rarepair!!!!!!!

em: i mean they have a lot of free time stuck in that lake.......

obsetress: so what if i made custom discord emotes specifically so it would look like they were on a date

em: WHAT IF

em: viola: on her nightly wander through the grounds

me twirling my hair: haha do you come here often

obsetress: sometimes i just like to think about how viola is a taurus and rebestiecca is a virgo and they have the swankiest flat in london together with marble countertops and stainless steel appliances and rebecca is a high powered attorney and viola buys all the designer clothes she wants and dani and jamie will come into the city to visit them but then rebecca and vi immediately start fighting and dani and jamie are like "uh owen can you come pick us up they're fighting again" but he's too busy taking hannah out to a nice dinner so they just end up getting a hotel instead and then show up to brunch the next morning and rebecca and viola are there smiling pleasantly like nothing happened and viola didn't throw a box of biscuits against the wall just last night and when dani can't control her big mouth and asks about it (jamie elbowing her in the ribs as she takes a big gulp of bloody mary) viola and rebecca just look confused and rebecca furrows her brows and is like "what fight?" and dani and jamie just look at each other and jamie shrugs and slings an arm over dani's shoulder and then they order another round of drinks but like i said i only think about this sometimes it's not like it's a full-blown headcanon or anything)

em: there is so much to process here hannah but: taurus viola is such a god tier take & i can’t believe i never thought about it?? earth sign queens

obsetress: thank you i agree and i promise you this is not my taurus ass projecting, viola is actually a textbook taurus and in this essay i will––

em: i love typing a response and by the time i send a reply there is a full fic in my mentions

obsetress: like i said! not something i think about all the time or anything!

em: yeah viola is a little volatile sometimes but they always talk abt it after and most importantly they never go 2 bed angry! violas workin through some stuff n rebecca doesn’t let her push her around

em: i MEAN or they’re totally dysfunctional but i’m dying at damie like ‘ah owen cna u pick us up the girls are fighting again’

obsetress: rebecca sits her down and makes her talk about it and she gently steers vi towards "i feel" statements, focuses on stating "you did x, and it made me feel y," and when she covers vi's hand with hers, gently stroking her thumb over her knuckles, all the tension leaves vi's body

obsetress: and viola's willing, just for a minute, to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, rebecca was right. but only this one time

obsetress: (rebecca does her best to hold back a smirk, because "only this one time" seems to happen every time, but she's not about to say that to viola's face, not now, when vi's leaning into her and nuzzling against her cheek)

em: oh this is Tender

em: damie sitting in the restaurant completely baffled makes me Lose It like yeah ok we all wanna be gentle emotionally intelligent lesbians dani clayton or jamie taylor but some of us aren’t quite there yet!!

obsetress: viola, staring at jamie's arm slung over dani's shoulder and the way dani's beaming over at her, tangling her fingers with jamie's: do you two... need to be doing that? why are you doing that

obsetress: rebecca: they're in love, babe

viola: i don't feel the need to do... that, and i love you just fine

rebecca: i love you just fine, too

dani and jamie: (staring, horrified, across the table as their waiter serves them their eggs benedict)

em: @ dani @ jamie some people aren’t on the cusp of fucking at Any Given Moment

obsetress: you: (that)

dani: i don't understand the question

rebecca: it... wasn't a question

obsetress: they're just tryna be cottagecore and vi and rebecca are out here all big city earth sign power lesbians fighting in their penthouse apartment and dani's just like "wow you two have a dishwasher???? how neat"

em: vi constantly answers the door in expensive dressing gowns that show way too much leg and the first couple times dani and jamie are suddenly v interested in the wall paper but eventually they’re just like congrats on the tits maam can we have a spot of tea

em: violas like, gloating about some business investment or properties or a lucrative deal she was ruthless enough to land and danis like oh cool :) i’ve been making a lot of jam lately. would u like some jam

obsetress: inflated property value ex-gf and homemade jam ex-gf

obsetress: meanwhile, their respective gfs, won over the jury in closing arguments ex-gf and successfully integrated a new bee colony and harvested her first jar of honey ex-gf, are sipping their whiskey and watching, enamored, as it all plays out

em: viola cannot understand they’re perfectly happy in their cosy little apartment above the shop n she’s like ‘i have some gorgeous new properties if you ever want to-‘ and rebecca and dani have to figure out how to change the topic before jamie goes off w her Kill Landlords polemic

obsetress: jamie, later: i will tolerate her, dani, i will tolerate her because you love her and because rebecca loves her, but i swear to GOD if she "not all landlords" me one more time i'll––

em: jamie ‘card carrying socialist’ taylor cannot fucking stand viola half the time n eventually she half jokes that dani ‘downgraded’ to her drop out working class ass n danis like ??? oh babe. baby cmere. me and vi broke up for like 1000 reasons but the class difference didn’t Help

em: way later dani mumbles something like ‘i said the $2 aldi wine tasted perfectly drinkable and she didn’t speak to me for days’ and jamies like ‘pardon?’ but danis already Zonked Out

obsetress: ldkjfslkdfjlsj this part SENT me just. the idea of dani's final, dozing thought being viola pressed over the two dollar aldi wine

obsetress: sometimes jamie doesn't understand how dani could've dated viola at all, but then they'll be at dinner and rebecca will make some comment about some case and dani and viola's hackles will raise in the exact same way and they'll start popping right tf off down the same lane

obsetress: and jamie's like "oh, right. that"

obsetress: (it also doesn't hurt, jamie begrudgingly admits to herself next time viola answers the door Tits Out™️, that viola's hot. super hot)

———

bonus:

audacity: just. the chaos of capitalist vi and socialist jamie being in the same fucking room

audacity: liberal versus leftist ding ding ding round one fight

obsetress: i’m crying liberal vs leftist that’s literally it

obsetress: “of course i’m a leftist, jamie, i’m gay” “that’s not—“

audacity: i love you vi but my money’s on jamie HSKDHSKDHSJSH

audacity: GOD

audacity: VI NOT EVEN KNOWING LIB IS NOT LEFTIST I—

obsetress: “it’s not like i’m a conservative just because i have money, please���

audacity: jamie looking at vi’s ostentatious new dress and going “how many renters did you make homeless for THAT”

[fistsoflightning]

23: i wanna know what you’re doing tonight

prompt: shuffle || masterpost || other fills || ao3 mirror

word count: 2796

Does writing music based on things your friend said count as flirting?

It’s AU brainworm time everybody >:3 This “main street” AU is basically balefire/mom squad’s ‘what if we made a bunch of small town romance ideas and mashed them together’ which turns out to be a lot more hilarious than it should be. Featuring (chat) cameos from @windupcatgirl @to-the-voiceless @windupnamazu @verbroil and @winduphaurchefant because why not. Title from this song!

For all intents and purposes, Zaya enjoys autumn; summer heat cooling off into a pleasant chill, the sunlight that lingers enough to keep warm in the early weeks. The trees may die, but in doing so they grow colorful, and though the flowers in A’dewah’s little shop don’t do the same he changes which ones are on display to match better with the tree outside. It does mean Krile—and more recently, one G’raha Tia—have to return to Mor Dhona, their studies resuming, but it’s not like they can’t chat.

It does, however, mean the return of autumn showers—and they don’t even hate rain that much—and fortunately Zaya managed to forget their poncho just as the first big storm pulled in. Mor Dhona wasn’t that far of a drive away, really, just two or three hours on a road Zaya had taken enough times before, but in the middle of a rainstorm? Without a rainproof coat?

Well, at least Miss Eldfalk’s documents are staying dry in the carrier at Zaya’s back, even if the chill of the rain has already soaked through the wool of their jacket and started to dampen their shirt by the time they pull into the parking garage just a block or so away from the museum waiting on Sjanna’s delivery. Thankfully the inn is just an elevator away and not on the other side of the road; they should keep a spare poncho or umbrella in the motorcycle luggage next time.

Zaya pushes the thought aside as they slip off their helmet and the phone in their pocket begins to buzz about, safely tucked within the canvas pocket of their overalls and hopefully not just as soaked as their hands are. Wiping their palms and fingers on the inside of their legs, they unzip the soggy jacket and tug out the borrowed phone to see the numerous Linkcord notifications—of course.

Leaning onto the front of their motorcycle, Zaya hardly takes a second glance up to the storm just out the window behind them as a few taps and a swipe unlocks the screen, opening up to the Linkcord discussion of the day (night? Night.)

[ text channel #mom-panic; 9:47 PM ]

banned for baby crimes zayaaaaaa i miss you Hanami Hagane You are just saying that because you have no one to drag around the fair. Hanami Hagane Besides, they will be back tomorrow afternoon. banned for baby crimes no i’m not!! that’s too long!! i brought ihget but he’s being stupid and wont ride the ferris wheel with me :’) banned for baby crimes i cant find lunya and reese either so now im stuck with himbo here local breadhead we’re just by the cotton candy stand! lunya’s waving at you ;) banned for baby crimes OH THERE YOU ARE HOW DID I MISS YOU        hold on i gotta grab the chad first local breadhead 😊 banned for baby crimes but i really miss zaya even if they’re just over in mor dhona.. so does ochir he- i- banned for baby crimes has anyone seen ochir ihget lost him in the crowd- this says zaya 😱 reese is in pieces :O( YOU WHAT?? local breadhead oh dear lmao reese is in pieces :O( i hope no one tries to take him :( reese is in pieces :O( lunya says if your stupid catboy loses zaya’s bird shes not going to make you two the mini versions of zaya’s courier hat banned for baby crimes IT SNTO MY FAULT ZAYA JR HERE WAS BEIGNB ROODY ADN LOOKED AWAY         NOOOOOOO,,, Hanami Hagane Why bring the bird with you, anyways. Zaya lent you Ochir’s cage. banned for baby crimes he made sad noises when ihget n i were abt to leave,,,,

The chat quickly devolves from there into Sati panicking about Zaya’s violet-backed starling going rogue and everyone else jumping in and hells, they are not in the mood to manage that. Drops of water fall from their chin onto the screen; they hastily wipe it away before shoving the phone back into their pocket and hop off their motorcycle. A few quick movements with the key round their wrist opens up the luggage attachment with the satchel of papers inside—blessedly dry, thank the gods they splurged on a decent one instead—which they swing over their shoulder as they start walking to the elevator.

A dripping trail has probably followed them all the way from the parking garage to the lobby, they think in passing as they stop at the front desk, waiting for the receptionist to turn around. Their hand goes to fiddle with the small keychain on their keyring as they wait, still dripping their own personal puddle around them.

“Hello, hello! Welcome to the Seventh Heaven, how may I—” Tataru turns around, small smile widening into a sunny bright grin when she sees them, even if they’re dripping all over the lobby. “Zaya! Good to see you back again; need a room for the night, then?”

A curt nod (that sends water droplets onto the surface of Tataru’s desk) is all she needs to hop off her stepping stool and onto the ground, waving Zaya along before she cheerily marches down the halls with a keyring jingling in her hand. Not even the gloomy rainstorm thundering outside can put a damper on her mood, it seems.

“Payment for the night’s stay may be given in the form of Gannet Bay gossip, alright?” Tataru unlocks the door to a nicely decorated room with a quick turn of her hand, playfully winking over her shoulder as she does. Her violet eyes glimmer almost the same as Lunya’s, really; filled with teasing joy and secrets. “I’ve heard from the grapevine about a certain catboy quite enjoying the atmosphere out there, now!”

She steps aside as the door swings fully open, giving a little curtsy, and Zaya gives her an energetic thumbs-up as they walk past her into the room, pleasantly warm and bright from the small fireplace in the corner of the room, banked low so its amber glow only flickers across the floor.

First things first: getting out of all the soggy clothing they’re wearing.

They hang their satchel (papers still neatly bound inside, good) on the wall hook by the door and haphazardly strip off their shoes and socks, followed by the once-warm and fluffy jacket as they look about for spare hangers.

Ah; Tataru always has their back. Hanging on the end of the bed are a set of four or so hangers, which Zaya snaps up with ease, carefully slipping the wooden hangers through sleeves and loops as they finally get to their undershirt—blissfully dry, if not a bit cold. Their overalls aren’t all that damp on the top but are more than soaked the further down the legs one looks… hopefully that dries quick enough.

Just as they finish kicking their ankle-high boots to the mat by the door, a quiet yet unfamiliar chime fills the room, and Zaya nearly thinks to check outside the door for the noise when the light vibrations trickle up their arm. The soft ringtone—someone humming along to a muffled orchestra, maybe; not the smartest of choices for a calling ringtone—grows louder as Zaya stares down at their collection of soggy clothing.

...Alright, second: answer the damn phone?

Zaya nearly fumbles all the hangers to grab their phone from the pockets of their overalls and accept the call, only briefly reading the name from the screen before his face pops up in its place. White hair and a charming grin, perhaps—that is, to anyone who hadn’t heard the words that fall from his mouth like gentle rain.

(Okay, well, maybe that just helped. Zaya wasn’t going to say that out loud to anybody regardless; it didn’t matter what they thought of Thancred’s charms. Probably.)

“...I’d say ‘good evening’ but I wager you are having anything but just by the water dripping off your hair,” Thancred says in lieu of greeting, his voice warm and surrounded by the distant sounds of the usual fall fair attractions. “So instead, I’ll say this; is that old phone serving you well enough?”

Zaya nods; given, this one’s a bit clunky, but the lightness of their actual tomephone may have indirectly been the reason that they’d dropped it while helping out around town and eventually cracked the screen. At least Thancred had offered to lend them his old one for the trip to Mor Dhona in case, just on the off chance someone truly needed their attention, like for lost birds and ways to punish a distracted idiot.

They set it on the table, the front camera facing towards the window as Zaya steps into frame, still fiddling with the hangers in their hands. Mor Dhona may be covered in a gloomy storm, but the golden lights from the buildings around Revenant’s Toll Square still glow brightly in the distance, a refuge from the biting torrent of cold rain.

“Survived the water,” they sign slowly, stepping closer to the fireplace in a subtle attempt to dry off a bit quicker, almost fumbling when their fingers stiffen, chilled to the bone. Thancred laughs, the bridge of his nose crinkling just a tad like how it does when he can’t stop cracking himself up. “Still has power, too.”

“Glad to see it has survived, then.” There’s a slight pause where Thancred stops talking (and laughing) to catch his breath, the small silence filled with Zaya leaving frame to go hang their soaked clothes over the fireplace to hopefully dry for tomorrow. When they come back to look at the camera, a kaleidoscope of colorful lights dance across Thancred’s face, some colorfully lit attraction before him leaving his platinum blonde hair awash with a rainbow of color. “The storm there should burn off by early dawn, though; hopefully you will not have to drag yourself home dripping wet from your business in Mor Dhona.”

Ah, good. They yawn as discreetly as someone who’s on a video call can—which is to say, not very, and a rosy flush must spread on their face when Thancred chuckles under his breath, low and steady. 

“Forgive me,” he says next, voice lowered as if he were disturbing someone’s rest. “I must be keeping you from collapsing; I can’t imagine a drive in the freezing rain and getting soaked is the least draining way to spend one’s night.”

In-between stretching out the tense muscles in their back and neck do they grunt some noise of agreement, the strain flaring momentarily before melting into a drowsy warmth that drips down the ridges of their spine. Really, spending time in Mor Dhona at all is a draining waste of time—when you make your home in somewhere as vibrantly quiet as Gannet Bay it’s hard to want the big city over the comforts of familiarity, of knowing each shop and its owners personally, of being able to help them all and see their smiles.

At least they can see one person from home, now.

“ ‘S fine,” they mumble softly, heart stuttering when Thancred’s smile widens at the sound of their voice. Part of them wishes they were there to playfully elbow him for that—it’s not that rare tha they’ll speak—and the other part of them they are desperately trying to ignore. “How’s th’ fair.”

“Wonderful.” He looks up for a moment as Zaya wraps themselves in the bed coverings, presumably to whatever booth or stall is shining down on his face with fluorescent lights. “Ryne’s had a wonderful time, I think. I haven’t seen your friends around, but would you like to hear about the odd variety of attractions around?”

Zaya hums sleepily, waiting for him to continue. They hardly even notices when their eyelids grow heavy and their fingers return to their usual warmth, entranced enough by the fond familiarity of Thancred’s voice as they drift off to sleep.

…

The next morning, Zaya wakes with the dawn that rises across Mor Dhona, the bright golden sunrise sneaking through the cracks of the large curtains to tickle their bedsheets. The cityscape outside the window is covered by low autumn morning fog, glimmering as the sunlight dances over it and the puddles the passing storm had left behind in its wake. Outside, it is nearly silent, only a few passing cars and hardly any pedestrians around when Zaya does their morning stretches by the window.

As is always with a trip into the city, they fall into an easy routine; wake with the sun, stretch out whatever they can without breaking something, get dressed and hastily grab everything before rushing out the door, wave Tataru a rushed but genuine goodbye. Trot down to the parking garage, check the bike, throw the satchel back into the luggage on the back as they slip on their stereo cuffs and flick through playlists on their phone before going to get breakfast at the Bismarck—

Zaya pauses their flick-tap scroll through the playlists on their phone when they catch one with their name. Odd; Thancred did always have the habit of making his friends their own personal playlists, but they’d like to think they didn’t give him that much of a read on their tastes just yet.

Shrugging to no one but themselves, they tap on the playlist and let it begin to play as they slide the phone back into their overall pocket, starting up their motorcycle’s engine just as the song begins to play.

They stop. 

[ DM history with @superbolide; 7:36 AM]

zayaya ❓ zayaya 🌅😊❗🎵🎧💿❓❓ superbolide good morning to you too :) you’re up rather early superbolide something the matter? superbolide ah          i haven’t got another song for you yet, if that’s the question   rest assured, i’ll find something yet! zayaya 🙅

It hardly takes them more than a few seconds to grab a small screenshot of the playlist in question, sending it and another screenshot back to Thancred as they quietly listen to the same song Rjoli and Reese had playing near constantly for last Valentione’s Day in the bakery—still manages to be catchy, somehow. Let it not be said that acoustic covers were not their favorite.

The notification ringtone chimes when Thancred responds, cheery and bright.

Zaya goes a bit bug-eyed at what he types next, the song fading off as the next one on shuffle comes up—piano, humming, Thancred’s voice—

Thankfully, for it being so early in the morning, there’s no one around in the parking garage to judge the frankly embarrassing noise they make at their phone, or the bright flush that spreads across their face.

It isn’t like that, they remember saying, sputtering like a fish out of water when Lunya had barely insinuated that Thancred’s small wave as he walked past was a bit more than friendly. There’s no way he’d be interested in the courier that helped him choose out a ribbon at the local boutique, of all people! He doesn’t even know where I work!

Zaya drops their forehead onto the dash of their motorcycle, careful not to hit their horns against anything as they do.

Looks like they were wrong, about it ‘not being like that’. Maybe.

(Oh gods, they really hope they’re wrong.)

…

[ text channel #mom-panic; 8:03 AM]

💬 this says zaya is typing...

this says zaya😑 this says zaya💭🌑💘 🤟 ❓ banned for baby crimes DOES HTAT MEAN WHAT I THINK IT DOES closest to hell zaya qestir i swear on your lover boy’s life clarify for the peanut gallery local breadhead :0 reese is in pieces :O( i think            hm reese is in pieces :O( zaya did thancred just confess or did somethign else happen this says zaya [ superbolide: oh haha i must have forgotten to upload those to my lifestream] this says zaya [ superbolide: there are some songs i did save, but all the clips there were lyrics i thought of after chatting w/ you 😉] this says zaya [ superbolide: i could make an EP dedicated to you w/ the inspo you gave me] this says zaya [ superbolide: that is, if you don’t mind] Hanami Hagane I told you he was obvious. closest to hell SATINA YOU OWE ME GUMMIES FROM SHOOTING STAR I CALLED IT closest to hell IT WAS OBVIOUS THE MUSIC HES MAKING WAS BC OF THEM local breadhead oh bless… that’s v sweet… banned for baby crimes HBHBHHB NOOO MY HARD EARNED GIL,,, banned for baby crimes BUT WE ALL WERE RIGHT ABOUT HIM THO reese is in pieces :O( awwwauaua!! banned for baby crimes so banned for baby crimes zaya banned for baby crimes when’s the wedding this says zaya 😡😡😡 closest to hell me🤝sati “when’s the wedding” this says zaya 👆💀🏡 Hanami Hagane You two better start running. banned for baby crimes WAIT ZAYA NO-

[wetalkinboutbooks]

The Bird King by G. Willow Wilson

Summary

The Bird King is a 2019 fantasy novel set in 1491, the novel takes place in the Emirate of Granada during the territory’s final days. The story concerns the flight of Fatima and Hassan, a concubine and mapmaker, respectively, from service to the Emirate’s last sultan. (Taken from Wikipedia)

We follow Fatima and Hassan on their search for the Bird King as they avoid soldiers of the Spanish inquisition, and meet a variety of characters along the way.

Our Ratings: 

 → Geena: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: The Bird King is an amazing book that manages to be complex yet light-hearted. It touches on subjects like faith, love, and friendship. The characters are engaging (and absolute drama queens) and the plot is fast-paced so there’s never a dull moment. The dynamic between the characters leads to the funniest situations that will have you dying. In summary, reasons to read this book if you haven’t already:

A- ONE SUPER FUNNY BOOK PLZ READ IT

B - THE DRAMAAA OF FATIMA AND HASAAN

C - Vikram 

D - Stupid

~ Spoiler-full discussion below ~

The Good: 

→ Hassan and Fatima’s Relationship

Geena: The best thing about the bird king (aside from the horse named Stupid) was Hassan and Fatima’s friendship. IMO it was so wholesome and they were so in love (PLATONICALLY!!!!). When Hassan said seeing Fatima walking around was like seeing his heart outside his body…… a BITCH DIED!!! Also, the fact they would take shots at each other constantly? Loved it. HOW COULD I FORGET… HASSAN CONSTANTLY BEING HORNY AND FATIMA BEING LIKE “CAN U CHILL!”  

Kae: OKAY MOOD LMAOOO. So boom. Geena covered it. We love this book! Hassan and Fatima are the definition of the 💯 emoji. But these bestie-bitches are DRAMATIC af. I’ve never seen two best friends who love each other as much as they do. They’re hugging and crying one moment, then the next they’re jealous that one of them is talking to someone else. DRAMATIC. I love it. Have we talked about Gwenny and Stupid yet?  

Geena: WE HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT THEM, the perfect accessories to the Hassan-Fatima duo. Gwen is the token white boi, there for Hassan to thirst over and Fatima to learn how to sail a ship. Stupid on the other hand…. God bless that horse all it did was drown and then LIVE!!!! The absolute legend.  BUT Kae HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE GWEN AND STUPID? HMMM

Gwen: I only love God

Also Gwen: *sleeps with Fatima on the deck of the ship while Hassan is 3 feet away* 

Kae: Well... Gwennec. Ol’ Gwenny Gwen Gwen. Gwen, the Monk who FUCKS. PAHAAHA. Gwen was a new Monk who was at first, totally against helping our favorite bestie-bitches. But Fatima was all “Don’t test me white boi I will kick ya ass.” And Gwen lowkey thought it was hot so he let them slide. He taught Fatima and Hassan how to sail while Hassan made googly eyes at him and definitely wanted to tap that. But, as previously stated, Fatima and Gwen got it ooonnn.  Hassan found out and as like “Fa, I can’t believe you slept with my husband who doesn’t know we’re married yet!”,  and that was basically that.. Then we have Stupid. The horse who was just as damn stupid as his name. The horse lived to spite the Grim Reaper just to prove it would breathe another day. We also haven’t mentioned our Jinn friend and their literal lifesaver/guardian angel, Vikram.  

Geena: VIKRAM, aka another dude/djinn/dog man that Hassan wanted to fuck but couldn’t :( Vikram was essentially the only one in the group that had a substantial amount of brain cells, and spent most of the time trying to make sure Fatima didn’t accidentally kill herself. The fact that he saw his death and it was in the arms of a “beautiful woman” should sum up his character really well. 

Kae: Geena is sooo right. Vikram was the only one with brain cells because Fatima and Hassan both shared two. Our loveable, dramatic, but also a little dimwitted faves wouldn’t have survived any of their adventure without Vikram. He lead them through a Jinn filled tunnel that Hassan made. Escorted them across the land with the Inquisition right on their asses, and fought off whoever tried to hurt them. Initially, he agreed to save them because of a debt he owed to Fatima’s Sultana. But in the end, Vikram helped them because he wanted to. He was a weirddog/man/Jinn who just wanted Fatima and Hassan to stop being dumbasses for five seconds. But they couldn’t so he was constantly annoyed and probs wanted to eat them to shut them up. BUT WE STAN THAT FURRY LEGEND BECAUSE WITHOUT HIM, OUR ESCAPEES WOULD BE DEAD-EEE. Also he was one suave, smooth talking mofo and I feel like if he walked up to you and said “You’re lovely, but you’re an idiot. It’s okay, because you’re pretty tho.” that compliment sandwich would go right over your head and you’d thank him.  

Geena: ok FIRST OFF I would be like “why do you have a tail” but god Kae you hit all the points. 

The Bad AND The Ugly

→ The Sultan and His Mom Being Pedos 

Geena: Ok so, Fatima is 17 and I’m assuming the Sultan was in his mid-thirties, because he has kids Fatima’s age 👀. So I am sure it was historically accurate, the fact that the old ass man had a 17 year old concubine, but that doesn’t make it any less gross!!!! What’s worse is that Fatima’s mom was originally a slave for the sultan, so when she was born the sultan’s mom raised her and had her instated as a concubine when she was 15!!!!!! Scuse me while I 🤮. 

Kae: Yea, Geena said it all. The Sultan was ewww. Fatima was his favorite and I guess he talked to her like she wasn’t a concubine? She was treated very well. For a concubine. Probably better than any concubine I’ve read about Like, she had rights and could talk shit without punishment. But still, DISGUSTEEENNNG. Our girl was groomed so we do NOT stan the Sultan. 

→ Luz

Kae: we also have our main villain, Luz. She arrived at their palace to play peaceful, but she had ulterior motives that involved her spreading the word of the LORDT and taking Hassan in to be tried for Witchcraft and all that magic shit. Because if we didn’t say it before, Hassan can draw anything on a map and make that place a reality. Luz has this little worm in her eye that basically makes her super weirdly strong and badass. But fuck Luz. When Fatima finds out that Hassan is to be tried for witchcraft, she goes to him so they can both escape. Fatima wants to be free and she doesn’t want to see her bestie die. So what do they do? They dip. And now our friends are on the run. 

Geena: UGH Yes, can I just say the moment that Fatima realized that Hassan would get canned she was like “fuck all these people” and peaced out with Hassan? Friendship goals… But yes LUZ!! I enjoyed reading her as a villain because she genuinely thinks she’s a good person and that her life’s mission is to “Save” people like Fatima from people like Hassan. You really end up liking her in the beginning, and then she turns around and murders a few people and you’re like…. Ah…… i see….. aND THEN it turns out she was being controlled by some brainworm that was also trying to get to the Bird King and you kind of wonder…. How much of what Luz did was her being a violent inquisitor and how much was the worm controlling her… you kno? She redeems herself by dying, so I guess she gets…. Like one (1) right. 

Kae: Damn girl! Well said!!! LITCHERALY that is a perfect summary of Luz’s character. I can’t say anything else because it’s been SAID.  Villains are always interesting when they don’t see themselves as the bad guy. They’re righteous and unforgiving because they believe they are doing the right thing. That’s what scary about them. 

Conclusion 

Kae: Okay, so in conclusion. This is an amazing book and in all honesty, I enjoyed the hell out of it. I was never bored reading it. Hassan, Fatima, and Vikram had quite the adventure and all the dramatics of made it that much more enjoyable. They left the palace in hopes of freedom. Hassan and Fatima got the idea of The Bird King from a story they liked to read, but never knew the ending. So they continued the story on their own, making it up along the way. In hopes of escaping their new fate to Luz and the Inquisition, Hassan drew up a map to the Bird King in hopes to find it. Their journey took them to meet Gwennec who sailed them to said island, where they discovered used to be inhabited long, long ago. Soon, others began to show up on the island. Hassan even got him a MANS. A DOCTOR. Whew. He’s got taste. The island is also forever changing and some of the remaining inhabitants are Jinn. 

Geena: Kae summarized the story really well!!! The journey to the end was an absolute trip, but G. Willow Wilson tied up the story neatly. We get to see Fatima become less dependent on Hassan (thanks to his doctor bf who told her to chill out) and Hassan finally find the happiness he deserves. Gwen, unfortunately, doesn’t make it to the end (press F to pay respect). Luz essentially sacrifices herself by taking the map Hassan drew, getting off the island, and ripping it up. Why does she do this? Because to make a place or passage Hassan drew disappear the map has to be ripped. And leaving the map to the island wasn’t an option because the Spanish inquisition never stops!!

Kae: And if they ripped the map on the island, the island would cease to exist! Upon arrival to the island, everyone had their ships wrecked. Luz got fucked up on the shipwreck and that worm thing got ripped out of her eyes and then it became a monster on the island that was NOT to be trifled with. Since Luz got all jacked up, she was gonna die anyway and no one wanted her to stay--

Geena: Everyone said “u cant sit with us” to luz. OKAY DISCUSSING THIS BOOK MADE ME REMEMBER HOW MUCH IT MADE ME LAUGH, GENUINELY ONE OF THE FUNNIEST BOOKS I’VE READ. 10/10 FOR ME!!

Kae: LMAOOO HONESTLY. XPECIALLY FATIMA NEVER HAVING WALKED SO FAR BEFORE AND BEING A BIG OL BABY. but she DIIIID have messed up shoes that blistered so I’ll give her that BUT YES HASSAN WAS A DRAMA QUEEN “waaah, I have red hair and im pale BUT I'M STILL HOT AND I LIKE TO F U C K” But yeah, Luz got voted off the island and voted herself off the island, ripped up the map, and then they were safe and lived happily ever after. Vikram even made his final appearance to say his goodbyes to Fatima, even though he hates goodbyes. I give this book a 10/10. It was funny, the characters were likeable and relatable, and it was just a good adventure read.