#she’d leave but it’s kinda like watching a train crash in that she can’t look away

[ssruis]

I think at some point in early wxs days nene tries to call tsukasa’s bluff about having 100+ different poses so she asks him to name each one & then is forced to watch in horror as he not only lists them all but also performs them while emu + rui loudly egg him on (they are in public) (it takes at least 30 minutes)

[fangirlfics]

Trouble Sleeping (Loki x reader)

I swear if this deletes for a third time Im gonna cry 

KINDA A SLOW BURN BOIS

also I didn’t finish reading it over for mistakes bc I’m lazy 

summary: y/n and Loki used to be very close friends and sometimes when she had bad nightmares he’d use his magic to calm her mind, a few years have passed and they’ve grown apart. Her nightmares come back and hesitantly she seeks Loki’s help again 

word count: 3,592 wahahahaha

y/n leaned over one of the balconies that overlooked the kingdom’s private garden. The weather was perfect, the temperature ideal, sky blue, and the plants were all thriving feet below her. Despite the scenery however y/n’s attention was fixated elsewhere. 

Down in the depths of the garden, propped up on one of the fancy golden benches was the youngest Asgardian prince-Loki. His dark raven hair was combed back as he turned to the next page in his novel, the cover matching the shade of green displayed on his clothes. y/n couldn’t help but sigh as she watched the handsome prince, they had once had an unbreakable bond. It was always Loki and y/n-best friends, one wouldn’t be seen without the other. But somewhere among their late teenage years, Loki had become more cold and distant towards y/n-leaving her alone in the giant halls of the castle to wander alone. That’s when her and Thor’s relationship grew stronger-she had always been friends with the God of Thunder but after her and Loki’s relationship crumbled to pieces he was there to cheer her up. 

“Oh there you are!” Thor’s voice boomed-pulling y/n from her daydream. y/n glanced once more at Loki before turning her attention to her tall friend. “I was looking for you!” He beamed. 

“What can I do for you, your highness?” y/n asked with a playful voice.

Thor smiled, putting his hands together before continuing, “I was hoping that you would join me and-” his words faded as he glanced down to the gardens and caught sight of Loki. y/n’s attention soon turned to the railing in front of her as she traced her fingers along it’s smooth surface. “You still watch him.” Thor told her, his normally enthusiastic voice was now dry and serious. “How long have you been thinking of him?”

y/n furrowed her eyebrows, playing with her fingers. “I never stopped.” She confessed, “I know it’s foolish but I can’t help it, I..miss him more than I can even begin to explain.”

Thor was silent as he watched the girl glance back down at the gardens then to the sky. “Let’s go...horseback riding.” He suggested, getting y/n attention. “To lift your spirits, we can go with Sif a-”

“No.“ y/n blurted out, “nobody else-I don’t want to embarrass myself again by falling off my horse.“

Thor chuckled, “nobody is going to think low of you-” he looked at y/n once more sensing her silent plea ”very well then, just us.” He agreed, making her smile.

“Thank you.” She laughed, giving him a hug. It caught Thor by surprise but he then loosely wrapped his arms around y/n in return. “Thank you for everything,” y/n whispered, “really, I don’t know what’d I’d do without you. I’m blessed to have a friend like you.”

“Of course.” 

Neither of the two friends noticed that down in the gardens Loki clenched his jaw, snapping his book shut and silently retreated to his room-they also didn’t notice the pair of blue eyes staring through the window at them, when they returned laughing on horseback. 

_____________________________________________________________

 There was fire everywhere, thick black smoke made it impossible for her to breath. She was choking-desperate for air. She fell to the ground as the fire closed in quickly-it’s heat trapping her in the room. There was no hope, no help was coming and it was impossible to escape, with a loud crack the ceiling caved in leaving her trapped screaming out as the furious flames burned her alive. 

y/n woke up with a start, beads of sweat lined her forehead although her room was cool and she found that her hands were shaking. Realizing it was just a dream she lied back down, covering her face with her hands as she tried desperately to fall back asleep. She got no more sleep that night.

The same thing happened again in the coming days and three days later while in training, y/n who was running on less than four hours of sleep was doing rather well. In one quick movement she jumped up-kicking the sword right out of Fandral’s grip. 

“Very good!” Volstagg commented from across the room.

“Yes.” Fandral agreed, “show me that move and I’ll show you some of mine.” He winked.

“Just give me a time and place.” y/n responded playfully, earning a laugh. 

“Impressive.” Fandral commented at her response. (she normally responded to his joke flirting with an eye roll) 

“Yes impressive.” Loki commented from behind Fandral. “That y/n can apparently chase after two men at once.” He said this while staring casually at Thor. Sif went stiff inder the tension and Thor opened his mouth but y/n spoke first.

“I’m sorry?” 

“Well by the looks of it, you can’t seem to decide between Thor and-” 

“Brother that’s enough.” Thor warned, taking a step forward.

“I’m just putting out a warning, you do know what they say about these sort of things.” Loki remarked, not meeting her eyes.

“You know full well that I am not chasing after anyone.” y/n said, growing aggravated. 

“It sure seems that way.”He then opened the door to the room and left.

“You know what?” y/n responded, dropping her sword to the ground with a loud clang “I am tired of this.”

 “y/n I think it best if you ignore him.” Sif spoke up, “nobody is accusing you of anything, we all know you aren’t that sort of person-”

“Thank you Sif, but I am not taking this.“ y/n exited the room in pursuit of Loki, who was a few paces ahead of her walking calmly. 

“I don’t like being followed.“ He simply called out to her, because his room was only about a minute walk away from the training room he reached it fairly quickly.

“What is your problem?“ y/n asked him, putting her foot in between the door and it’s frame as Loki was about to shut it.

“I don’t have a problem, now if you’d excuse me I’d like you to leave me alone.“ 

 “Then leave me alone.” She huffed, “hold your silvertongue and stop acting as if you’re above me because you’re not.”

“Is that all?“ He asked her calmly, “you’re done with your childish tantrum?” 

“Oh you are so-“ y/n narrowed her eyes.

“So what?“ Loki asked with an eye roll.

“Terrible.“ y/n blurted, earning a cold laugh from the God of Mischief.

“So I’ve been told.“ He stated bored.

“No, I mean you’re really terrible and for so many reasons.”

“Such as?“  

“You want a list?“ y/n asked with a bitter laugh, “ok well you think you’re better than everyone and you’re not, you poke fun at other people because it’s amusing to you and-and everyone-I mean everyone thinks that you’re a snake, ever since we were younger, and I can’t believe I’m just now realizing that..they’re probably right.“ He swallowed hard furrowing his eyebrows, “you used to be my best friend Loki, I’d defend you from people’s accusations when you weren’t around and..I wasted my time because you are everything people say you are and worst.“ She saw the look in his eye, she hurt him-good now he understood how it felt. 

Loki glanced away-looking down at the girl again. “Is that all?” He asked, trying desperately to remain collected. y/n scoffed. “You may think you know me but I know you much more, don’t forget, I’ve been inside your head. People may think I’m a bad person but I can live with that, you on the other hand can’t stand the fact that someone might not like you, so much so that you’ll break down about it. You’re a weak fighter, you’re not as clever or as witty as you seem to think, and frankly I don’t understand the fascination Thor seems to have with you, you’re nothing special.”  

y/n pulled her foot from the doorway. What happened to us? She was about to cry and she did not want him seeing that. “Is that all?” She asked, reciting his previous question.

“Yes.“ He spat coldly. 

“Good.“ She turned to walk away as Loki stayed in his place trying to keep the impression that he didn’t care.

Late at night y/n tossed and turned in her bed, trying to fall asleep after waking up from a particularly realistic dream-she had thought that by laying still she’d trick her body into falling asleep but that didn’t happen. She knew that she had been able to power through the last few days with almost no sleep-but she’d certainly crash if she didn’t get any sleep soon. The thought of making a visit to Loki for help came to her mind, but she really didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing she wanted/needed his help. Screw it. She thought after another couple of hours, her clock read 2:35 as she swung her legs over her bed and slipped on her slippers and robe. 

The halls were dark and empty except for the occasional guards, which she was careful to avoid (she didn’t want to raise any suspicion). Thank God her room was only a three minute walk from Loki’s. It was once she was already in front of Loki’s door that she started getting second thoughts, but she was there already and the worst that could happen was getting the door slammed in her face or no answer. She raised her cold knuckle, letting it hover over the door’s fine wood before knocking. “It’s y/n..” She announced barely above a whisper, “trust me I really don’t want to ask for your help but I see no other option an-”

The door opened a small crack. “you do realize what time it is, right?” Loki’s annoyed voice asked-he didn’t sound like he had just woken up, maybe he was having trouble sleeping also.

“I know.” At her response Loki opened the door wider, revealing himself in a pair of emerald colored pajamas. “Look I know-” at the sound of approaching footsteps (guards) Loki stepped aside, giving her a cue to get in. She did, turning to face him one he closed the door again-his back facing the door he put his hands on his hips.

“What do you want?”

“I can’t sleep.” She said sheepishly, “I just-I’m getting the same nightmares again and I thought that maybe just this once you could, you know..” She put hands up, wiggling her fingers to imitate magic.

Loki rolled his eyes, “first off that’s not at all how magic looks, second why should I help you?”

“Just this once!“ y/n practically begged, “please. I’ve have not been sleeping at all I just need one hour. I won’t make you sleep on my couch like I did when we were younger, you can just...alter my thoughts or something and I’ll leave and-” 

“Fine.“ Loki agreed, grumpily. He walked back over to his bed, getting in between the covers on the left side. “Well?“ He asked when she stared blankly at him. He rolled his eyes again, “Obviously if you go back to your room I won’t be able to sense when I have to alter your thoughts and you’ll just come back to make a racket when you have another nightmare.“ y/n nodded slowly, making her way to the right side of the bed. “Besides it’s a big bed, just stay on that side-away from me.” She laid down, hesitant at first as she tightened her robe around herself. Loki leaned over, placing a finger and thumb over her temples to enter her mind. 

When she woke up she was in the same exact position that she was in when she went to bed and Loki was standing directly above her looking annoyed once again. It was still dark outside as he looked down at her from where he stood. “It’s about time, I’ve been trying to wake you up for the last two minutes.”

“What time is it?“

“6:05..the castles about to start waking up, you should leave before more people get uo to avoid being seen.“ y/n nodded in agreement. 

“Ok“ she walked to his door, turning to watch as he laid back down in his bed. “And Loki..“

“What?“ He sighed.

“Thank you.“ She said softly, leaving the room right after. Loki was left surprised.

“Look I know I said just once-” y/n whispered that night outside of Loki’s door, it was past 2 a.m. again, but surprisingly Loki let her in again.

“The faster you stop pestering me, the better.“ Loki told her harshly. He had woken her up at 6 a.m. again like he had done the the last time. The time after that Loki woke her up at 7 and the time after that she had woken up past 8 to see Loki sitting in a chair some feet from her sharpening his knives-when she had asked him why he hadn’t woken her up he had simply reminded that he could just teleport her back to her room, that way nobody would know she had spent the night there.

Flash forward a month later, y/n tiptoed to Loki’s room in her nightgown again, the nights were getting hotter which had led to her to leave her robe behind. When she had reached Loki’s room she didn’t need to knock, since he now left it unlocked for her. 

Once she laid down on the right side of the bed (more towards the middle now rather than all the way on the edge) Loki laid down about a foot from her. They didn’t go to bed right then however, since they had formed a habit of talking before falling asleep. “Have you been sleeping better?” Loki asked the girl beside him.

“yes.” 

“Good...”

y/n rolled onto her side to face Loki, “Thank you again.” He nodded. “You know for someone who hates me, you’re actually quite kind to me.” The corner of Loki’s mouth folded up slightly,

“I don’t hate you...” He rolled over onto his side to face her, “but what I do hate-“ he then had explained the entire plot of a book just to express his hatred for one detail in it. 

y/n woke up in the middle of the night with a start, her nightmares had came back. As it turned out Loki wasn’t in the room but when he got back with a glass of water he noticed she was off right away. “I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized, sitting beside her, “I was just-I didn’t think-”   

“I know, it’s fine.“ y/n told him, but his hand was still on her shoulder and his blue eyes still held worry in them. “I’m just-I’m going back to bed...“ Loki nodded, watching as she laid down again. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?“ She nodded.

As she began drifting off she felt Loki take her hand in his. Later on in the night y/n woke up randomly, but she wasn’t facing Loki anymore-instead she was facing his dim window, she felt warm but not from the covers and to her surprise she realized that the prince’s arm was around her waist, keeping her close. Their legs were tangled mess at the bottom of the bed and she could hear his slow breathing as he slept peacefully. She looked around slowly, trying to figure out a way to move away to avoid the embarrassment when he wakes up-but just as she began to shift around she heard him speak up. “What time is it?” up. 

“Sorry...” She apologized growing red, “I don’t know how-“  

“It’s fine.“ She heard Loki whisper. 

“It is?“

“This is quite comfortable.“ He whispered again, then he moved slightly closer-resting his head on her shoulder and he fell asleep again-she assumed that he was half awake and didn’t fully process what had happened. She decided it didn’t matter and fell asleep again, after all he wasn’t wrong-it was comfortable.  

There was a loud noise that woke y/n right up, making her jump. Now she realized that she was facing Loki again, her arms were wrapped around his neck like in a hug, his head was nuzzled in the crook of her neck-their legs still a tangled mess. Bang! Bang! There it was again, she lifted her head, looking towards the door as it came again-bang! Bang! 

“Loki” She whispered, gently shaking his sleeping form. He ignored it, pulling her closer in response instead. “Loki, someone’s at the door.” She whispered, trying not to laugh. He sighed looking up towards his door.

“Just ignore it, they’ll go away it’s probably a servant or-”

“Loki!” Thor’s voice came from the other side of the door, “Loki, I know you’re in there! Open the door.” Loki rolled his eyes, standing up to make his way towards the door. 

He opened the door a few inches, “what do you want?” He hissed.

“I-” Thor paused, “are wearing your nightwear?”

“Why is that of any importance-what do you want?”

“er, Loki is there someone in there with you?“ Thor asked. 

y/n held her breath, afraid that somehow Thor would hear her from the doorway. “I-no!” Loki snapped, “What are you talking about?”

“Alright, alright I apologize. I’m here to ask if you have seen y/n? I’ve been searching for her, she’s normally turned up somewhere at this time it’s past 10.” 

“No I don’t know where she is, I haven’t seen her. Check the garden, she’s most likely wandering around there.“ He shut the door, turning back to y/n. 

“Past 10?“ y/n asked, covering her mouth, “I should’ve been awake two hours ago.” Loki shrugged. “Can you teleport me back to my room, I should go to the gardens since Thor’s looking for me.” Loki looked at the ground with an unfamiliar look in his eyes before nodding. “Thank you.”

The girl had spent more time with Thor training than she had expected that day, leading her to take an extra long shower at night to get clean. She hadn’t realized until she looked at her clock that it was past 10-normally she’d already be at Loki’s room by now. Quickly she dried her hair and changed into her nightwear. 

She was about to leave and opened her door and unexpectedly Loki was there with his hand raised looking like he was about to knock. They stared at each other for a moment before she spoke up, “Loki? What are you doing here?” 

He glanced to the side, not wanting to meet here eyes as she awaited his response, “I thought..” he said glancing at the ground before back to her, regaining his composure “that you-“

“Weren’t coming?“ She finished for him, he nodded.

“So I came to see if you were ok, I’ll leave.“

“Wait, no.“ She told him, grabbing his wrist and taking him by surprise, “I was just coming it was just taking me longer, but you can sleep here if you want since you’re already here...?” He nodded in agreement, stepping into her room.

He settled himself into the bed, opening his arms for her to crawl into which she quickly did. The two laid there for a moment, listening to the quietness as Loki slowly brushed through her hair with his fingers.      

“remember the other day when I said that you were terrible?“ y/n suddenly asked, getting Loki’s attention. He stopped running his fingers through her hair. 

“Yes, why do you ask?“ He responded cautiously. 

“I was just mad at you. I’m sorry.“

He took a moment to think to himself, “I didn’t mean what I said either."

“Can I ask you something?” y/n asked after a while later.

“What?”

“Why did you push me away?” She asked, shifting herself to meet his eyes.

Loki sighed-only it wasn’t from being aggravated this time. He backed up a few inches from y/n-staring straight up at the ceiling. “It’s because..”

“Because what?”

“I had noticed that you and Thor were becoming closer and decided to..abandon you before you did me. I thought it’d hurt less that way.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, everyone always seems to choose Thor over me, I just assumed you would, in time, do the same.“ He confessed, still not meeting her gaze. 

“Loki...“ she set her hand on his shoulder waiting for him to look at her. “I would never abandon you for Thor, sure Thor is my friend but so is Fandral, so is Volstagg, so is Sif and I’m not abandoning anyone for them.“

He nodded.

“And tonight..“ y/n spoke up again, “when you thought I wasn’t coming-“

“I assumed you wouldn’t need me anymore, especially after you had spent so much time with Thor.“

“Loki!“

“What?“

“Don’t be like that!“ y/n told him, sitting up, “I do need you! I’ll always need you, I need you don’ t doubt that, and not just because of stupid nightmares, because I care for you and I love you, ok?”

Loki smiled to himself, “you love me?“

“Yes you stupid-“ she stopped talking because Loki had leaned in, capturing her lips in a kiss, taking no time to hesitate she leaned into him further deepening the kiss. After about a minute they pulled apart-resting their foreheads together. 

“I love you too.“

[comfortmarvelimagines]

You are Home, and Home is Safe

heyhey ! deciding to just get it over with and post this tonight (for those of you who don’t know what i’m talking about, a post explaining can be found here. side note, please be nice in my inbox, its been rough getting some of those comments). i am, however, going to continue to tag autistic!reader fics with #whenyoucantfindthequiet and #wycftq, so they’re easier to find. hope it’s what you’re after, nonnie, and i’m so so sorry it took so long !!

features : autistic!reader x mama!nat, lowkey asshole Tony Stark (it’s okay i didn’t make him really mean, just kinda well-meaning but misplaced/ mistimed) 

warnings : uhhh i guess meltdowns, some self-injurious behaviour

Words are hard. Always have been, always will be. 

You haven't always had a family. For years you were passed from foster home to foster home, with a consistent message: you were too much. Your needs were too high, your behaviour too confusing, your struggles too much to deal with. It got to a point where you began to question yourself, your diagnoses and trauma, wondering if it was all in your head or for attention like you were told over and over. 

That changed when you met Nat. 

It wasn’t immediate of course. There was the initial period of complete and total distrust, of another stranger whose life you were thrust into the middle of, floundering and drowning with no support. There was shutdown after shutdown. The trauma of being ignored and punished for meltdowns meant that you’d learned to internalise. You barely ate, and didn’t speak. But Nat met you where you were, unwaveringly. Was always calm, composed, voice level. Kept food out on the kitchen bench at all times, figuring out your safe foods and keeping them stocked. Realised you liked small enclosed spaces and stocked your bedroom with beanbags, pillows, stuffies and blankets, a permanent blanket fort taking up residence in the living space. Perhaps the most wonderful was her commitment to listening to you, with or without words. The superspy was quick to recognise your shutdown states from body language alone and responded quickly, with two option questions and the request to tap the hand of the answer you wanted. 

You almost wanted to feel embarrassed, humiliated, of the accommodations she made so immediately. But she always spoke to you conversationally and never in an infantilizing tone, like so many before her, and the trust you held for her grew. It didn’t always grow in a way that you felt was positive, though. As weeks passed you felt your shutdowns turn into meltdowns and silence into frustrated screams. You didn’t want to hurt her. You didn’t want to feel ungrateful or angry or like any of this was on purpose but somehow she knew. As she held you close after each one she reminded you that your body was unlearning trauma, that you were safe, that you were loved so fully and unconditionally and nothing, including meltdowns, would change that. The way she held you felt like home. 

But no one else was like Nat. Social workers were condescending, school was overwhelming, nowhere was safe. So you stuck to Nat. It wasn’t long after you were placed with her that she pulled you out of school, realising that they were doing more harm than good, and she was always there for homeschool. Not looking over your shoulder, but present. You could hear her humming through the walls, or swearing as she dropped a spoon into a pot of soup on the stove again, and it was comforting. It wasn’t the apartment that was home, per say, but having a parent made it feel like one. If she went to the grocery store or a walk in the park you came with, ear defenders on, clinging to her sleeve for safety. She told you that she loved you a million times a day, until one day you said it back. 

Words came easier after that. Simple things, like asking what’s for breakfast, became routine. It wasn’t just Nat softly illuminating the cramped space with hummed melodies and occasionally vulgar language but you as well, asking for help with homework or explaining a meme. It felt normal, comfortable, okay. The outside world was too much, but inside your home, the anxiety all but melted from your throat. 

You never wanted to leave safety. You wanted to feel it all the time. It was warm and sweet and heavy but in a calm way, like a weighted blanket sinking into your joints. It started as a one-time-thing, after a particularly rough meltdown, but you started sleeping in Nat’s bed. It just felt… right. The panic that set in when Nat left the room and you didn’t know where she was going or what she was doing or if she was ever going to come back was so all-consuming and nauseating that going to sleep alone, in another room, unable to hear her was torturous. What if she abandoned you, gone in the night, social worker beckoning you on to the next uncaring couple, crowded foster family or group home? This way, when you woke at 2am from a nightmare, the first thing you heard was her even breathing. Home. Safe. 

***

Tony Stark was something else. Nat eventually started to transition back to work, and, as being homeschooled permitted, brought you with her. Even in classified meetings where you weren’t allowed in you sat in corridors and made sure you could see her red braid through the frosted glass, glancing up from your laptop every few seconds to make sure she didn’t disappear while you wrote your English critique. The rest of Nat’s colleagues (it felt too weird to just casually refer to them as the Avengers and co) didn’t mention your presence, at least in front of you; it was as if they didn’t know what to say or how to say it. Not that you’d say anything back. Outside of the safety of home it was like the anxiety disconnected your brain from your throat, anything you wanted to say cut off before it reached your tongue. It was frustrating. The first few days ended in meltdowns when you reached the apartment and it felt weird and strange and almost like you were two different people but an all-round embarrassment of a child. It was weeks before things settled into a routine and a pattern of acknowledged non-acknowledgement. A pattern Stark ignored. 

You were sitting at the island bench in the communal kitchen, drinking chocolate milk and typing out an assignment, when you heard both Nat and Tony heading down the hall towards you. They’d just come out of a meeting, you sitting watch outside the whole time, and Nat had sent you to the kitchen to wait for her while she headed upstairs with Tony to drop off some paperwork to an intern. You hadn’t thought much of it. Sure, you didn’t like being away from Nat at all, but if she was clear in where she was going and how long she was going for (provided it was only a short period), you did okay. It was okay, until you heard the discussion from down the hall. 

“Damn, Nat, is that the longest you’ve been away from the kid?” 

“No.” 

“C’mon, Nat. I know the kid’s been through some shit, but this isn’t healthy. For either of you. What happens if you can’t get out of the mission next time? They’re gonna have to be away from you at some point. You can’t be in this line of work with a barnacle of a kid.” 

You’d heard enough. As the topic changed and they entered the kitchen, you didn’t look up from your laptop in greeting.  

*** 

Too much. Too clingy. Too anxious, too needy, too autistic, too much. You needed separation. Give Nat space. Of course she needed to work. The world needed her, and they didn’t need you tagging along. When you got home that night, you headed straight to your room. Buried yourself in the mountain of blankets and stuffies and waited until Nat came to check on you, facing the wall, feigning sleep. You doubt you fooled the former spy but nonetheless, she left you be, a whispered “I love you” hanging in the air as she creaked the door close behind her. 

It was seconds before you broke. It felt like choking. All of the fear that was slowly reduced to an ebbing tide through months of living in a caring environment crashed on you like the mother of all tsunamis, saltwater running down your cheeks and into your mouth as if smothering all the words you wished you could scream. It lasted for hours and hours and it was relentless, painful, as if your heart was being ripped out and an empty throbbing numbness was expanding in its place. You were too much. Too much. Too much. 

Nat stood outside your door at the time when she’d usually be gently waking you up, watching you unfurl and stretch yourself out of the cocoon of blankets you slept in every night. She knew something was wrong from lunch yesterday, and your isolation from her was concerning. She figured you needed space, but the sleep she knew was an act sat at the back of her mind and bugged her all night long. Even with that nagging suspicion that something was up, nothing prepared her for the way her heart sank when she came in and saw your body curled up, eyes red and barely open from exhaustion, pillow and face damp from tears. 

She was at your side in seconds. Your resolve to cut yourself off melted at the sight of her open arms, safe, warm, home. And immediately your body melted. Hands running through your hair, the promise that you were safe, loved, worthy of support, the request to “tell me next time, please, you don’t need to deal with this on your own.” 

For some reason, those were the words that broke out the first sounding sob in the 12 hours of silent crying. It was so loud and gut-wrenching and it almost didn’t feel like it came from you at all and it was such a weird feeling, and all of a sudden you were scratching at your arms to try and re-embody yourself and Nat was breathing calmly and deeply and gently rubbing your shoulders until you found yourself easing back into your physicality.  

“Did you hear what Stark said yesterday?” 

And just like that she figured it out, of course she did, because she’s a trained spy and that’s her job, to put the pieces together and slot the narrative into place. And god, were you grateful, because you couldn’t see yourself stringing sentences together to accuse none other than Iron Man himself of triggering waves of hurt just by stating what you’d convinced yourself was the truth. She was quick to reassure. You are loved, you are wanted, you are always welcome and will always be her child and what you need will always come first. The warm safety settled itself in your belly and you let the tiredness wash over you, drifting on a life raft of whispered Russian lullabies and Nat’s hand rubbing circles on your back. At peace.

Of course, you’d never tell Nat, but hearing her whisper-yell at Tony over the phone for being an insensitive dick was possibly one of the best moments of your life.

[skellebonez]

Prompt 69 with Syntax, except he's the one doing the glaring but at who, you decide!

So uh... what would have happened if MK didn’t just run in to get the sign in episode 9? What if, before grabbing it, he heard a certain voice that he recognized and went to investigate? Yeah, consider this an AU. Need a name for this one, I am accruing many now.

You see that death glare means she (he) likes you

This was... not exactly the predicament that Xiaotian expected himself to be in. At all. Not after being chased away from Spider Queen by her spider trio. He had just wanted to get Pigsy’s sign back... and he did! Eventually! 100% A+ marks on that! He just... hadn’t expected to find Macaque there as well.

Or some back with him and another... straggler.

"So... Syntax, was it?" Pigsy said roughly, earning a glower from the spider demon in turn.

They were inside Pigsy’s noodles, away from prying ears but still in their night clothes. Not that they had time to change. Not when Syntax was immediately interrogated and started explaining, and then Xiaotian had tried explaining over him, and then Macaque just. Revealed everything in one sentence. And that lead to a very tense, very uncomfortable explanation of exactly what was going on.

Xiaotian didn’t tell them Macaque was from the shadow play. Or what he did before than. Only that he was someone he knew through Sun Wukong who had tried to teach him before and wasn’t on good terms with his mentor, which wasn’t exactly a lie. And oddly, Macaque didn’t say anything either.

"Care to tell us exactly what the plan was for dealing with this "immense evil power" you were tricked into assisting at the cost of your entire clan's deaths?" Pigsy continued, brandishing his spoon he was using to make an emergency meal at him.

"Pigsy!" Tang chided with an exasperated look. "We don't know if they're dead."

"Could you maybe stop saying dead please?" Xiaotian asked quietly, curled up at a table in a corner away from the others, so quiet that the only person who seemed to have heard him was Macaque.

They wouldn’t be here having this conversation if MK hadn’t heard Macaque yelling in frustration so he supposed that was a slight victory. If Xiaotian was being honest with himself... he probably wouldn’t have told the others anything about what had happened. You can’t exactly hide a suspiciously familiar monkey and a very familiar spider when the three of you crash land on a roof together.

Going to see what was up let him free the immortal from the draining webbing he was tied up in, and had alerted Syntax to their location. If he hadn’t insisted on going back for the sign and that had not lead Syntax after them.. That would not have lead to the Spider Queen almost, almost, agreeing to work with him, and if he hadn’t grabbed the other at the Spider Queen’s insistence maybe...

“We were attempting to rebuild the mech from new years, if you must know,” Syntax answered haughtily. There was a shaking in his hands that no one pointed out, but Xiaotian could tell at least Pigsy and Macaque picked up on it from their expressions, as he did something with the gadget on his arm. Schematics, bright digital holograms, displayed in the air before them. “It would have worked, I’m positive of that! The White Bone Spirit is powerful, but not unbeatable as she is right now. Unfortunately, even if the Monkey Boy-”

“Kid, but if you’re going to call him the wrong name at least call him a man,” Tang said, a slight glower shining through his glasses.

“Monkie KID,” Syntax corrected himself tersely, returning to look at the schematics with a frown. He looked... genuinely upset as he reviewed them. “Even if he hadn’t interfered by coming for the sign my bots stole from you, we wouldn’t have had enough time or material to finish it before she found us out. It was... inevitable that something like this happen if we couldn’t convince our Queen to leave. And we couldn’t.” Syntax reached up, massaging his head as the hologram dissipated. “And we weren’t going to leave her alone. If only Huntsman had started asking questions sooner...”

At the mention of the eldest spider demon Sandy frowned, something deeply sad that Xiaotian couldn’t quite understand or parse from it. But clearly something had happened between them when he went to get the flower for his hiccups. He hadn’t hid their encounter from them, even if he didn’t tell them exactly what happened.

Syntax on the other hand went quiet, the mention of his comrade seeming to be the last thing to make him need to sit down at the counter and hold his head in his hands. “You know... he was annoying. Always trying to one up me, get the approval of our queen over me. But seeing him like that... and Goliath... they didn’t deserve that. He was good at what he did and I never got to tell him I didn’t actually hate him.”

The room went quiet after that. Xiaojiao moved to sit beside Xiaotian, wrapping her am around his shoulder. Tang stayed sat at the counter across from Syntax, watching him from the side with the barest tilt of his head. Sandy sat at a table away from the others, pulling something out his his pocket and cradling it in his hand. Pigsy continued to cook, more focused on it than he had been before.

And Macaque... Macaque stood in the middle of the room and scowled. Probably because he was so drained from the webbing that if he sat down he looked like he would pass out on the spot.

“There is... one good thing,” Xiaotian said after a moment, reaching into his jacket pocket. “Maybe? I-I was kinda distracted by the, you know. Spiders. Macaque screaming he was going to ‘send WBS to a realm even she can’t escape from when he escapes’, but I passed this room full of stuff...”

That got Syntax’s attention. “What room full of stuff?”

“It had the Trigram Furnace in it,” Xiaotian continued. “And a bunch of other stuff. Like this.” He pulled his hand back out and uncurled up on top of the table, letting his prize gently float down. Bright and golden-orange and as vibrant as the day Sandy had picked the whole thing. “I thought since Huntsman tried so hard to steal it from Sandy it might be important?”

“You stole back the Crimson Jimsonweed!?” Syntax yelled, jumping up and using his spider legs to nearly catapult himself in Xiaotian’s direction. “That... that may have been the most dangerous thing you could have done! And... and the smartest!”

“What?” Xiaotian asked deadpan, looking at the spider in confusion.

“The White Bone Spirit needs that flower petal to finish whatever she is making with the furnace!” Syntax continued, now pacing back and forth between the table, a smile slowly forming on his face. “Without it, she can’t finish it properly! She may be able to try, but there is no guarantee it would work, if she takes the chance and it does work than she will be significantly weakened by the lack of a key ingredient! She-she probably doesn’t even realize it is missing yet! YOU!” He pointed a spider leg in Sandy’s direction, making him jump in surprise. “Huntsman said you were knowledgeable of the flower’s properties, and I know there is a way to make it into a non-tea like medicine. Do you know of it?”

“Y-yes!” Sandy said after a moment of surprise. “It’s not hard to make, I could make it with what Pigsy’s got.”

“Good, make it immediately before she realizes,” Syntax continued, smirking. “She needs that petal whole and in tact. If you can break it down and make multiple small doses of medicine out of it-”

“Then she wouldn’t be able to use it because it wouldn’t be enough and what is left would be contaminated by the other ingredients!” Sandy finished, jumping up and rushing to the back of the shop. “PIGSY I’M USING YOUR SUPPLY CABINET!”

“What the hell is happening?” Pigsy asked in confusion, looking around.

“Your Monkey Man accidentally figured out the best way to mess up everything that was being planned,” Macaque said with a smirk, nodding in Xiaotian’s direction. “Gotta say, Kid, I’m impressed.”

“Wait, won’t this WBS person figure out what happened?” Xiaojiao spoke up. “She probably won’t be happy about it, she’d probably going to come after it!”

“....so we leave,” Xiaotian said, looking to everyone. “Maybe not all of us, but some of us should leave the city, stay in the forest or the desert so that if she does come back for it no one else will get hurt. Besides...” he smiled, finally, kind of sheepish. “I, uh.. think we should maybe stop squashing the city when we train. I think the neighbors are starting to get annoyed.“

“I think... that’s an excellent idea,” Pigsy said with a smile, taking his finished soup off the stove. “And you ain’t leavin me behind!”

“Or me!” Tang spoke up, turning in his chair to smile at Xiaotian as well.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE AGREEING TO BUT I’M IN!” Shouted Sandy from the back.

“And you know your girl is not getting left behind!” Xiaojiao laughed, pulling Xiaotian into a proper hug.

“Great, a whole gang,” Macaque said with a sigh, looking to the everyone before smirking in Xiaotian’s direction. “I know you’re not gonna let me just walk away, so I guess I’m stuck with you. But remember how I told you that you couldn't have too many teachers? That offer’s still open.”

“Tomorrow,” Xiaotian said firmly, more serious than his friends had ever probably heard him before. “We can start tomorrow. Real training, no tricks.”

The answer seemed to genuinely shock the immortal monkey, his un-glamored eyes wide in surprise. “Uh... ok. Tomorrow it is. No tricks.”

If everyone was confused by what they meant they didn’t say anything.

Syntax, moved back to the counter, tapping his hands and fingers against it in nervous energy. “I supposed I am stuck with you, after all my Queen said to go with you, and I can give you any information you need. Help with tech. That sort of thing.”

“As long as you don’t steal my dang sign again,” Pigsy scowled, depositing a bowl in front of the spider. He looked at it with suspicion, like he didn’t trust it to not be poisoned, much the way he looked at Pigsy in turn. “Or I’ll be the one squashin ya.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Syntax countered, his bright tone betrayed the severe lack of threat he felt at the other’s words. His glower though...

“Don’t worry about him,” Macaque said with a laugh, gesturing to Syntax. “You see that death glare means he likes you.”

“I DO NOT!” Syntax protested quickly and sharply, turning back and grabbing the bowl of soup and shoving a spoonful of noodles in his mouth before pausing. He said nothing, just looked down at the bowl before proceeding to devour it like a starving man who had been trapped on a desert island for weeks.

And for a moment everything seemed hopeful again.

It was the first time Xiaotian felt like this in a long time. He just didn’t expect it after revealing his secrets and with two of his enemies in the same room.

As they left to get on Sandy’s drone an hour later, full and ready to get more sleep after landing, Xiaotian couldn’t help but notice that Macaque stood father back from everyone else. Masked in shadow at times but still close enough for him to be seen. Syntax, on the other hand, seemed to have situated himself between Pigsy and Tang, talking to the scholar and the chef spiritedly about his recipes and the science of gastronomy (did this guy just know random stuff?). Which was weird, but at least they weren’t fighting.

Things felt... like maybe they could be alright.

[herstroywritten]

Their Aching Firsts.

I still have no excuse for my obsession with them. Not sure how I feel about this particular story, but I wanted to post something for the start of Rivusa week for the hell of it. It’s about 7k words (I apparently can’t stop writing them once I start and their works end up being endless). Oops.

Fair warning, there is a umm *spicy* scene near the end there. I don’t usually write those and I tried to keep it as vague as I could, but I thought I’d mention it anyways. Other than that, enjoy and let me know what you think!

The first times they kissed, it was fueled by anger- he grabbed, she pulled, they crashed.

The first time they talked about it, it wasn't so much a conversation of words as it was one of looks. His eyes said "I want you and it terrifies me." Her eyes said "I think I want you, too. And I think I'm finally ready to admit that."

The first time Musa realized her new favorite jacket was once his, she stares at herself in the mirror for over an hour. She misses lunch with the gang and Riven comes knocking at her door and opens it to find her standing in front of that mirror in a state of awe. She's bathed in black leather, sleeves reaching the tips of her fingertips.

"You ok?" Arms wrap around her waist as she toys with the hem of the jacket. She looks at him through the mirror and smiles.

"I just want you to know I'm never giving this back."

He huffs a laugh as he lets his head fall to her hair, breathing her in. Lavender and something sweet that he's never been able to pinpoint. "Not even if this falls apart?"

She whirls around to face him. "I don't intend on letting that happen." Her hands are on the collar of his shirt, eyes blazing with stubbornness. He knows then that her words are a promise, a commitment and not just a comment in passing.

"I don't know, Muse. You still have time to regret all this. Regret the ruin of your reputation. What will people say?" His words are teasing, but she can see right through them. She senses his vulnerability, his apprehension.

"There are a lot of things I regret in life- yelling at my mother when I was fourteen because I didn't want to clean my room, being a bit of a bitch to my suitemates at the start of the year, hiding instead of fighting because I was too scared to see what my powers could really do. The regrets are endless. But, you, Riven, are not one of them."

He frowns, blinks away the swarm of feelings within  him. "Yeah?"

She bunches her hands on his collar and pulls him down to her mouth. "Yeah."

"And what if I'm the one to end this?"

"And do what? Date some other girl for the hell of it?"

"Maybe, " he grins. "I hear I'm hot on the market now that I'm on the good side." She pulls him all the way down then, kisses him hard.

"Give it a try. Whoever she is, she won't last more than a day. And she'll defiantly never have you. Not really. I have you right where I want you, Riven. You're mine and you know it." She blazes a fire in him with her words.

"Oh yeah? And how would you know that?"

"You're here, aren't you?" She's all sass as she cocks an eyebrow at his question. "And, plus, it's kinda hard to lie to an empath."

And then she's kissing him again. This time with so much passion that he can't make sense of the world around him any longer. She pulls away only to tell him, "And I bet she'll never get that reaction out of you."

"No. No, she won't."

________________________________________________________________

The first time he calls her his girlfriend, it's not exactly in the situation she had imagined.

"Girls, I need to tell you something." Musa's voice wavers slightly as it rises above the noise that is their friends' laughs and chatter.

They're on the roof of Alfea, clustered among one another on the edges of old, shabby stones. The sky above them is dark and heavy. Stars wink at students from behind perfect clouds, ones that Musa remembers seeing in old cartoon movies that she used to watch with her parents when she was younger. From up here, the rest of Alfea seems like their whole world, its students miniature figures in a dollhouse. It's a perfect night, just as it should be. Rosalind is gone, out of the school and although that's not good enough, it's something. And Headmistress Dowling is alive and back in charge of the magical boarding school, where she belongs. From her perch up here, she can make out the headmistress' perfectly done hair as she leans back and laughs at something Silva is saying. She sees Professor Harvey heading towards their table, scolding students along the way to back away from the school's boarders. She's surprised that they haven't tried to stop all the drinking that going on. It seems that even the professors have had enough of the fighting, so much so that they're no longer focusing on the minute details of teenage life. Plus, she suspects that when they called for a party to celebrate the revival of Dowling and their taking back the school, they had fully expected the drinking. In fact, Musa had even seen Silva sneaking a few drinks to the teacher's table, but she'd never tell him that.

She can still hear Terra's squeal when Dowling had announced the party. And she can feel the toll of the  heels Stella had insisted she wear on her feet. It has brought everyone so much joy, this little piece of heaven that they're being allowed, and she's been so very glad to just bask in it. After months of walking around with her headphones constantly on, trying desperately and failing to block the thoughts of despair, gloom, and pain, she welcomed the change. It had taken a lot out of her, but she had even worked up the nerve to leave her headphones behind for the party. The girls had been surprised at first, but then Bloom had stepped forward, wound their arms together, and led her outside the suite. She's been getting weird looks from them all night, little side glances with small smiles and questioning eyes, asking her if she was okay or if she needed to head out for a bit, take a breather. She'd returned them all with reassuring smiles of her own, letting them know that she was fine. And she was fine, but probably not for the reason they thought. Yes, the students around her were happy and she didn’t have much negativity to deal with from them right now, and yes her powers were getting better. But the reason she was doing so well had to do nothing with the students around them or her ability to control her magic and everything to do with the specialist across from her.

Riven and her had been a bit of a dichotomy since the start of her second semester at Alfea. They were paired together for combat classes from the very beginning of Rosalind's reign at Alfea. He'd flirted, as he did with everything that had a pulse and walked his way, and she had shut it down. Odd how that had only encouraged his behavior. Odder how she'd eventually come to appreciate it.

It was a slow transition, their thing. She had been resistant to accept she liked someone so very opposite to her last boyfriend, hesitant to give herself to that natural disaster that seemed to be Riven. Honestly, it seemed like a loss for a long time. She'd lay in bed some nights, staring at her ceiling, listening to Terra's slow breaths as she slept, and just think about the fact that just a few months ago (God, it boggled her mind that it was only a few months ago… where did time go? And how did they get here, in a school run by a once presumed dead war leader and a woman that seemed to exude death from her presence alone?) she had been perfectly happy with Sam and the silence that he brought. Sure, they had eventually called it quits once she had realized she couldn't live in silence forever and he realized she needed to learn to shield herself from harm. It had been tough, but they were friends. And she had been okay being single again. Truly, she had. So how she'd come to crave noise- his noise, loud and obnoxious emotions that sent her body tingling and her mind reeling- she doesn't know. But it had happened and once she's finally just accepted it, the ball was in his court. Too bad for her though, because just as hesitant as she was, Riven was ten times more resistant to the pull that existed between the two of them. Musa remembers all the nights they'd sneak out and he'd teach her new moves with a staff and sometimes he'd let her use his swords, teasing her as she struggled under their weight. She'd head back to her suite before the sun came up, always frustrated because couldn't he see?! Couldn't he tell? Why else would she show up every single night without fail? Why else would she stick around when the training turned to teasing and taunting turned to conversations in hushed tones? Long story short, it took him being under mind control and her breaking it for him to just finally, finally kiss her. And from then on, it had been secret meetings in different corners of the school, in their rooms when no one else was around, and anywhere else they could find some privacy.

She's itching to cross the space that separates them currently and slip her arms under his jacket, an action that she'd first done on instinct but which had quickly become a habit once she had realized the effect it had on him. She's been eyeing him the whole night, fully aware of his gaze on her. There's a reason she hadn't argued with Stella when she'd been handed the lavender slip of a dress that she currently wore. She'd even managed to forgive the light fairy for the strappy silver heels she had practically forced into Musa's feet when she caught Riven staring up and down her bare legs. 

"Musa? What is it? Are you ok?" 

Bloom's worried tone pulls her back to reality and she forces herself to face away from Riven and toward the girls. She'd avoided this conversation for so long, but it had to come out at some point tonight and it had to happened before one of the girls found them in some shady corner with their clothes half off. 

"Oh, no I'm fine! It's not that." Now, how to approach what it actually was? 

Aisha's confused tone follows her reply, "Well, then, what is it?"

"Um, it's kind of a little complicated…" Musa's voice trails off and she has to physically stop herself from turning back to Riven to see if he's ok with this, with what she's about to say.

"Musa you're freaking me out a little here," Stella's eyes narrow at Musa's fidgeting her hands. Huh, she hadn't even noticed herself playing with the hem of her dress.

"Oh no! Did you actually kill that poor guy that tried to hit on you?" Terra sounds worried as Musa just groans at her words.

"Ughhh. Terra, we said we wouldn't talk about that."

"What guy?" Riven's question comes at the same moment as her whine, except his is louder and much more aggressive. All heads turn to him, and Musa curses the jealousy that she feels coursing through his veins right now. Damn it, couldn't he just keep it in long enough so she could explain to her suitemates what the hell was going on between them? His eyes are all rage and warning as he stares Terra down. And for some reason, she's all worked up at his gaze and doesn't know what to do with herself. She really shouldn't be so attracted to this side of him.

"What's it matter to you?" Aisha questions, eyebrow raising in his direction.

"It just does."

"Really, Riven? The middle school comeback? Classic."

"Stay out of it, Aisha. I wasn't talking to you."

They're bickering back and forth, and Musa can sense both their patience straining. This is not how she was hoping this would go. Finally, she steps between them, one hand on Aisha's shoulder and the other on Riven's chest. "Ok, that's enough."

Aisha glares his way one more time but steps back, Riven does not.  Instead, he turns to Musa and asks her, "What guy, Musa?"

"It doesn't matter, Riven."

"It does to me."

"Well, it shouldn't. It was just some drunk dude with a bad haircut. That's it." She's trying to reassure him, to let him know that this thing they have going on isn't just something she's going to drop the first chance she gets for any guy that makes eyes her way. She knows that's one of his big insecurities. He has it in his head that he's not good enough to deserve this, something that isn't completely fucked up from the very beginning.

They're trading glances, a secret conversation of their own  happening between them.

"No!"

All heads snap toward Bloom. The second she turns around, Musa knows that her redheaded roommate has figured it out. Bloom is grinning at the two of them, practically bouncing on her heels as she grabs onto Sky's arm and tugs on it. "Did you know about this?! Why didn't you tell me?!" 

Sky (bless his soul) looks at his girlfriend with confusion evident in his face, "Know what?"

Except it's Stella that answers, "They're dating."

And then mayhem ensues and Musa suddenly wishes she had thought this through because she's feeling so much from so many people right now and she's not quite sure how to handle it. She tries to hide the wince that forms on her face as she tries to answer all the questions her friends are practically screaming her way, but Riven must have noticed it because he reaches for her hand and pulls her out of the circle the girls have formed around her and closer to him.

"Alight, that's enough." It's the rasp in his voice that sends her spiraling every time he speaks, and she's putty in his hands. It's pathetic, she should have more self-control than this. "Yes, we're dating. Yes, she's my girlfriend. And, Aisha, no I did not pay her or threaten her into it. Gods above!" He takes a sweep of the room, gesturing to all their friends with a hand as if to say 'you're all very welcome.'

"Any other questions?" No one speaks up. Not that Musa would have heard any of them because good gods, did she hear him right? Did he just say what she thinks he said? Is she his… girlfriend? They'd avoided so many labels for so long that it had completely slipped her mind to actually name this thing between then by the time that they had finally become something substantial. And she's been fine with that deal, with not having to name their relationship, but hearing him call her his girlfriend has send her body trembling, fire coursing through her veins and butterflies bursting in her stomach.

And then he's pulling her away, down the stairs that led them up to the roof and between hallways that blend into one another as her mind focuses on the way his hand grips hers and the lust (his? hers?) that seems to be engulfing her whole being.

She lets him lead her into his room, onto his bed, and just as he leans down to kiss her, she moves down and places a kiss on his neck instead. Looking up at him, she tests out the word that's taken over her brain since it left his lips, "Girlfriend?"

"Fuck. Is that not what this is? I, I don't know- I kind of figured- I don't know. Shit, sorry-" If she wasn't so very in love with the idea of being his girlfriend, his something (just his), she would have let his ramble continue. She didn't get to see this often, a flustered Riven, and it was a sight she found quite adorable. But, alas, she had other plans for tonight.

She bends her neck upward, uses her toes to push herself up the bed, and kisses him ever so lightly on the lips. Just enough so that he stops talking. A feather's whisper of a kiss, against which she purrs "That is exactly what this is if that's what you want it to be." 

His eyes are black with want when he closes them and his hand comes up to trace the edges of her jaw. His breathing speeds up as he leans his forehead against hers, and that's how she knows he's trying to collect his thoughts, watching his words as he often does when he's scared he's about to make the wrong move, say the wrong thing. She swears she's going to get him to stop doing that around her, because she wants his thoughts, every single one of them, as raw as they are. She doesn't want the filtered version. And she can feel them, mingling into the background as his insecurity takes over. Her hands find their way to his jaw and now they're holding each other, "Tell me."

He opens his eyes, opens his mouth to tell her, just as she knew he would. He'd never deny her anything and she's learned that in the short time that they've been together. He'd collect the stars and fashion them into a necklace she could wear around her neck if she asked for the universe. He'd start and end a war if she so much as suggested it. He'd give her his soul, she thinks. All she needs to do is ask, and he breaks for her. Crack by crack. Splinter by splinter. Until he's cleaved wide open and she sees all of him.

"I do, want that. I want you." His voice is gruff, guttural. "What about you? What do you want?"

God, how does he still not get it?!

"You." A whisper, and then a kiss.

_______________________________________________________________

The first time he makes her cry, it's not because of something he said. It's because of something he did.

It had started like any other day- breakfast, classes, social gatherings at the end of the afternoon. Musa and Terra had just left botany lessons and were heading towards the specialists training grounds to meet up with Sky and Riven before they all went to grab dinner together. It had been all fun and games, Terra and her grumbling about how ravished they were and laughing along at each other's comments. But Musa had sensed the uneasiness that radiated from the training grounds the second they had rounded the corner of Alfea's large lawns. Silva was especially on edge, and the fact that he had all the upperclassmen and the best of the specialists lined up as he walked back and forth between them shouting orders could not be a good sign. And with an insane mastermind on the loose, Musa had feared the worst as anyone else would. She'd taken off running, and Terra had followed without any questions, trusting her instincts.

She only caught glimpses of Silva's orders. "… Five burned ones… Two upperclassmen faries out there already… We need to leave now- I'm going to need ten of you out ASAP. Five more will guard the school grounds… Any volunteers?" 

Her heart stopped when in her peripheral vision, she saw Sky and Riven's hands go up. This would be the third one this month that they had volunteered for, and the last time they left the school grounds Riven came back with a broken foot that he's still limping along on. The word left her mouth before she could think about it, "No!"

He turned to her, surprised to find her standing among the specialists. "Musa?"

She can't be bothered to greet him, not right now, not when he's practically signing up for his own death. So, instead, she stares him straight in the eye and says it again. "No." 

But Riven is as stubborn as she is, and she knows he's been itching to prove himself again, to make up for what he did under the control of Rosalind just a short while ago. His words crush her soul, "I volunteer for the outside team." He's talking to Silva, who's eyeing the two of them with an intrigued look on his face. He nods curtly at Riven's words. But Riven is looking at her, his jaw set and tilted upward with determination.

"Alright, Sky and Riven, you'll lead the charge. Get your weapons. We leave in five minute. Go!" And then he and Sky are running toward their weapons bags, Musa and Terra hot on their tracks.

She catches up to him just as he's strapping on his swords. Her hand comes to pull at his wrist, motioning for him to face her.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" He won't look at her, won't meet her eyes. "Riven, I'm talking to you! You can't just volunteer yourself up for everything that could kill you! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Whatever you're trying to prove, stop it!"

He's reaching for his fighting boots, switching into them. Whether he's just not listening or if he just doesn't care, she can't tell. She wants to kill him. She wants to kiss him. 

"Please," she can't believe she's begging. "Please, Riven. Your foot. You can't-"

"I'm doing it, Musa." She sees fury, internalizes it before her insides form it into something tangible and she can see it, feel it. It's red and blinding and raging.

"I'm asking you not to." He won't say no to her, he hasn't done it yet. She asks and he cracks for her right? Right?

Wrong. 

"LET'S GO, SQUADRON 1!" She barely registers what Silva's command means until Riven is standing up.

"I'm sorry, Musa." And she knows he means it, because when his hands fall to her shoulders, quick and rushed, they're firm. He leans down to kiss her goodbye or as a form of apologizing, she's not sure, but she turns her head away from him and he ends up kissing the space between her cheek and jawline. If he won't look at her, then she won't look at him. And if he won't listen to her, then she won't give him the satisfaction of her approval. It's petty, she know that. She senses his emotions deflate at her actions, the feeling of rejection cutting into his heart like a shard of glass ripping through flesh. But she's seen this movie before, she knows how this story ends. Too many specialists have left the school's walls wounded and eager to pick a fight, only to come back on the brink of death or even worse, they haven't come back at all. And the idea of him becoming one of those statistics hurts more for her than her rejection will ever hurt him.

She doesn't turn to watch him leave, but she hears his boots beating against the pavement as he rushes to catch up with Sky… and then silence. 

She's so numb by now. Numb to death, to feeling, to crying. She doesn't cry. Not when Terra comes to hug her from behind. Not when they're back in the suite and Bloom is practically sizzling with anger at the fact that they didn't think to bring her along on the mission and that Sky is being sent on yet another mission. Not when it's midnight and Dowling informs that the specialists made it back safely.

She doesn't go down to greet them when the other girls rush out the door. Terra lingers in the doorway.

"You sure you don’t want to come?"

"I'm good." She's staring outside the huge window of their living room, refusing to look down at the ground and try to make out if someone is missing in the mass of specialists standing in the courtyard.

"Musa-" She feels pity and worry coming from Terra, and she doesn't want to deal with it right now. She just wants to be numb for a little while longer.

"I said, I'm good."

Once Terra is gone, she turns away from the window and goes to sit by one of the couches. She counts the floorboards by the main doorway of the Winx suite. One, two, three, four, five, six…

She counts them three times over before the door finally barges open, it's hinges creaking from the immense force of the push just enacted upon it.

Riven's eyes frantically search the room before they finally fall on her. He walks towards her, limps actually. (She knew his foot wasn't healed, no matter how much he insisted it was.) He has blood splattered on his right side. His or someone else's, who knows? And when he finally reaches her, and falls to his knees in front of her so that they're eye level with one another, she finally cries.

He reaches for her. She pushed him off. "Fuck you, Riven. Really, fuck you."

"I'm sorry. Muse, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I-"

"Why don't you ever listen? You keep walking into wars as if they're welcoming parties. Do you want to die?! Do you have a death wish? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" She's being mean, unfair. She doesn't care. If asking won't work, maybe screaming will. And she's exhausted. Exhausted of worrying about him every time he leaves. Exhausted of wishing he would listen. Exhausted of fearing he's the one that didn't make it back, because it's almost been him so many times by now.

"I had to Musa." His voice is soft, odd in comparison to the loud tone he usually takes when they argue about this topic.

"You always have to! You don't have to prove anything Riven. And you most certainly don’t have to die for no fucking reason!"

"You don't get it-"

"So explain it to me!" He sighs deeply, and closes his eyes. "No, Riven. Explain it. What don't I get?"

He finally opens his eyes, throws a string of colorful swears at the ceiling before moving his gaze back to her. "It's not just proving something. It's that if I go and… if I go, then one less specialist has to go. And that's one less person with people that care about them having to go. And that's one less tragic death, and then a whole lot less people hurt. If I go… who cares, you know? And, honestly, shouldn't it be me? A taste of my own medicine and all that. After all the shit I helped Rosalind do." She senses his bitterness, feels his anger and destitute.

He's an idiot.

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

"And you're beautiful," he quips back. She watches that smirk that she's come to love make its way onto his face.

"Flattery won't get you very far in life, Riv." Except, maybe it will. Because somehow and for some reason she's here, and she's crying over him.

It's like he can read her mind, not the other way around, "I think it's gotten me pretty far as of right now. I mean, you're here." The look he gives her has her twitching in her seat and she has to remind herself that she still has more to say to him. She can't just let him off the hook that easily. He leans up to kiss her, and she places her hands on his chest, gently pushing him away.

 "I care."

"What?" He's confused by her words.

"I care. If you go, and something happens. I care." She feels the surprise bloom from within him, and then a sense of overwhelming tenderness takes up his mind, and hers along with it. Her hands reach for him, " Come here."

This time, he obeys her. And as she kisses him, he cracks for her. Splinters for her. Lets her see him while he kisses her as if he's kissing her for the first time ever, ravaged and hungry for her. She sees it all- all of him falling into her and consequentially falling into place in her mind, in her heart. His insecurities, his fears, and his wishes. She doesn't shy away from him, but kisses him harder. His thoughts are exactly what she thought they were from the very beginning- a natural disaster. But she doesn't fear falling into them anymore, and in fact she thinks she likes them. She thinks she likes the way his mind works- ten emotions at one time battling to win out over one another. And when he pulls away, she likes the way his green eyes look at her like she's the whole world and the way his hands hold her tight enough for her to know that he doesn't think she's fragile but with enough care that she feels like she is all that he owns.

"Don't you ever," he's panting as he moves to place kisses along her jaw and at her collarbone, above her shoulders, anywhere the collar of her shirt will allow him. "Don't you ever pull away from me again."

She knows he's referring to the other afternoon, when he had left for the mission and she had closed off. "Why? Did I hurt your fragile ego?"

She's teasing, he's not. His hands are in her shirt and moving up, up, up until the offending piece of clothing is off of her. He's eager to kiss down her body, hands roaming the planes and curves that he must have memorized by now. He's kissing, kissing, kissing. Kissing away her tears, kissing right above her beating heart, kissing along her waistline. Frantic, needy, and- 

Oh.

Oh. She thinks she's in love.

________________________________________________________________

The first time they slow down, she feels as though she has seen heaven.

Riven's lips on her lips, steady and firm yet gentle, as his hands lay splayed over her bare sides and his thumbs dig softly into the dips of her hipbones. One of her legs is tangled in the sheets around them and her other is hiked up above his hips, her heel digging into his spine. He moves inside of her, and when she feels her hips meet his, she slides her hands over his shoulders and lets her nails graze his back. He watches her below him, eyes asking if she's ok, she smiles at him and says, "Just… stay. Don't move for a bit."

And he does, closing the small space between them to catch her bottom lip between his teeth and pull on it before he continues with his love bites down her neck, behind her ears, onto her chest. He's making his way as far down as he can in their current position, and she's melting into him and fuck, she wants him to keep going. But she also wants him to slow down because she's on cloud nine right now and from up here she can see the stars in his eyes, can catch them between the kisses of his lips. Her hands move from his back, leaving behind what she can only assume is a mass of fresh red marks. They move to his chin as she drags him back up to meet her on that very cloud and then they're eye-level with one another once more. She feels the want form within him, she always does, but it’s an odd thing to actually see it emulated in his eyes. And there's something else there too, something she can't quite place and doesn't dare to assume of. When his lips brush hers for the umpteenth time, slowly shaping her name between them, she feels herself sink farther into him, a feat she had previously deemed impossible.

And her lips part in a whimper because oh good god, how had they never done this before? They were always so rushed, pulling at each other's clothes and stumbling into bed,  falling into one another in a tangled mess of limbs and lust. Perhaps it was the fact that they had kept it in for so long, refusing to admit they liked each other and once they were together, not wanting to tell others for fear of shattering whatever fragile state they were in. Their relationship had started with fighting fueled by longing, innuendos charged with so many suggestions, and eventually an aching want that Musa still couldn’t wrap her mind around. Really, she shouldn't be surprised at how touch hungry the two of them had been at the beginning of the relationship. (How touch hungry they still were.) But right here in this moment, as she opens her eyes, she regrets not slowing down and taking him all in sooner.

He is a sight to behold, with tiny and larger scrapes all over his body that somehow added to his physique instead of taking away from it. They are tens of thousands of stars and she traces them over and over, forming constellations with his imperfections. The pads of her fingers run over the features of his face, committing every bit of him to memory, and as they skim the tiny scar above his left eyebrow, the question slips from her lips before she can stop herself.

"When did you get this one?" 

He pulls away from her, just slightly so that he can see her face, and his eyes are darker than she's ever seen them as he lazily responds with a "Hmm?"

She's high on want and adrenaline, but she vaguely wonders if this is something he might not want to talk about. Too late to back out now. Plus, she'd like to know. "This scar. Above your eyebrow. How did you get it?"

Riven stiffens at her answer. She can feel his insecurity downing upon him, clouded by the desire and the want that still course through his body but slowly easing its way to the forefront of the battle that is his mind.

"I have them too," Musa whispers as she braces herself against his chest and heaves her body upward, brushing her lips against that very scar in question.

She moves back down again, and pulls her left arm slowly away from under him. She turns her head slightly to her left shoulder, using her index finger to point to a sliver of skin that's more taught and whiter than the rest of her. "I got this one when I was twelve. Tried to climb a tree that was too high off the ground. Had to get six stiches. My mom freaked out."

His eyeline follows her movements, and he stares at her shoulder for a few minutes. His gaze has her squirming a little, suddenly aware that she's naked in front of a boy she's very much into and that she has just pointed out one of the many flaws on her body. But then his eyes flicker upwards and he leans down and kisses her scar, just as she had kissed his.

"You're fucking perfect, you know that right?" She could cry.

"If you're trying to get in my pants, hate to break it to you, but they're already off," she teases, her voice soft and a smile on her lips. How else was she meant to respond?

He chuckles at her words, his laugh causing her to catch her breath as it does each and every time she hears it. It's an occasion that has become more common since they got together but which is still far and few in between. The sound vibrates off his body onto hers and has her writhing under him.

"Love, I would never consider your lack of garments a disappointment." He circles his hips above her, and she groans at the pressure. "And I would most certainly never forget being the one to take them off you, especially when you insist on making those noises."

Her eyes are blown wide as she grabs onto his forearm at the side of her head, where his fingers are buried in her hair. Her chest heaves up and down, up and down, heart beating so fast she's certain its rhythms are all in her mind and that it's no longer there. She's fairly sure she lost it somewhere between meeting him and getting here, to this moment.

He stops his teasing, opting instead to arch down once more and kiss the scar on her shoulder. He kisses it over and over until she feels her heartbeat slow down and her breath return to a somewhat normal pacing.

She tugs on his locks, silently motioning for him to come back up. Up he comes, and she's glad that she's somehow convinced him to continue denying her nothing. 

"Tell me."

He knows she's referring to his scar.

They're nose to nose, foreheads touching, brown eyes boring into green ones.

"About a year and a half ago. Right when things started to get messy in my life. Messier than usual, I mean. Back then I was a bit of a nerd, hung out in the greenhouse all the time-"

"Yeah, I've heard a few stories from Terra," she cuts him off, a smile playing on her lips at the idea of Riven hunched over a lab bench with pretty vines all around him.  It's a sight she hopes to one day see with her own two eyes, a side of him she knows she's so very close to opening up.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure you know how much of a dick I was after I started distancing myself from them. Sky, he got real mad one day. We were in Specialism class, learning some new sword tricks. I said some shitty things and then he tried to play the Saint Sky card. I got mad, I fought dirty. Scraped his arm with the sword. He finally snapped at me, landed a good blow right above my eyebrow." He laughed a bitter laugh at the memory. "Nearly missed my eye, the wanker. He apologized for two months straight. Either way, we both ended up in the infirmary and I figured I couldn't get rid of him. He kept me around and I stayed, almost like when we were children and we fought over dumb shit like who was the taller. Only difference now is that his scar healed and mine stayed."

That last sentence was loaded with so much, and Musa wanted to ask more but she didn't want to push her luck. She smiled at him, nudging his nose with hers. "So you used to fight over who was taller? The mental image of a baby Sky and baby Riven getting angry over something like that is almost, dare I say, adorable?"

He scoffs. "We were not adorable! We were two very manly twelve-year-olds with very some very manly, very reasonable arguments."

"Mmm," she hums against his skin. "Is that what you two have to this day? Manly arguments?"

"Are we really bringing Sky into the conversation while we're in bed?" She laughs, a full on laugh that comes from within her because his words were not what she had expected. "If you must know, now we argue over who’s got the hotter girlfriend."

His eyes are all mischief when she shakes her head at him. "Glad to see you two have really grown up."

"And I'm glad that I got the hotter girlfriend, because I'm not sure how else you've managed to keep me completely turned on while bringing up my best friend in the middle of us fucking."

And then it's her turn to tease him, turning her head slightly to the side so that she can catch his earlobe between her teeth and whisper in his ear. "I'll make it up to you."

And then she's flipping them over so that she's on top and she feels his breath catch. She smirks down at him mischievously and then they're off again, finishing what they started. She makes sure to go slow, to feel every bit of him as she moves, catch every angle of him below her and store it in her mind for safekeeping. 

And when it's over and he's lying on his stomach, back facing the ceiling, she moves herself on top of him once more. Only this time, she kisses every scar on his body, sometimes asking where and how he got them until he finally gets the hint and starts sharing their stories before she can even ask. There are so many of them, some tiny and some much more noticeable. All of them have stories. She vows to herself that she will one day know all of them. That she will be there to soothe the next scrape, the next trauma. With each one of her kisses, she can feel the natural disaster within him reach a rhythm, not quite silenced but at peace.

They don't sleep that night. Only once she's sure she's kissed every inch of his body does she finally worm her way back into his arms, but they're both wide awake at that point. His eyes watch her in the dark, hair loose and splayed around them like some sort of blanket. It had been in pigtails at one point in the night.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks.

"I…I just," words knot in his mouth. His eyebrows furrow at her in frustration as he tries to untangle and spell them out for her. "God, I love you."

Just for that, she kisses his body all over again. And again. And again.

________________________________________________________________

Their first times have been nothing short of unexpected. It's never how either of them imagined all these firsts would go. They're not soft and tender, though there are moments like that in-between, but neither had expected that. Their raging passions did not allow for it. But what they had expected was a lot more arguing, a lot more push and pull. Instead, they seemed to somehow fall right into each other- crash and burn style, no holding back.

Their firsts were painful lessons that needed to be learned. They were gnawing pains that needed to be had, throbbing emotions that had to be felt and delt with. They were stinging feelings, these firsts- stinging because they felt too much too soon and too fast and neither knew what to do with all of that expect for let it bubble until it exploded before them in an aching manner.

Their aching firsts.

[raph-and-spike]

My Hero - Mikey x fem!reader

requested? yes/no

“Well i just found your blog and im super excited to see where this goes! My request is April has a cousin the turtles have heard of but never met and before they finally do she warns them that shes a little reserved, keeps to herself but over time when she warms up shes super dorky and like mikey? Idk if that makes sense. Just some fluffy michelangelo x reader 😅”

a/n: My first request! I was sooo excited for this one! I kinda took it in a different direction, but I tried to keep it as close to your request as possible. I can’t wait to write all of the other requests you guys have sent me!

warnings: none :)

“Oh my God, that movie was crazy!” April exclaimed. 

You had just moved back to New York two weeks prior, and your favorite redheaded cousin invited you to see a movie with her and her boyfriend friend, Casey–much to his dismay–which you’d been thankful for; April was the only person you knew at school. 

As someone who tended to keep to yourself, April was aware of your anti-social tendencies, and she’d do everything to avoid it. She was determined to make New York City actually feel like home. 

“Eh,” Casey shrugged. “It was alright. I don’t really see the hype.”

April rolled her eyes. “Don't pretend that we didn’t see you jump at all the jump-scares, Casey.”

Casey grinned. “You paying attention that closely to me, Red? You must like me or something.”

You couldn’t help but giggle as you watched the two bicker back and forth.

“Shut it, Jones,” she rolled her eyes. 

A crash behind you made the three of you jump and turn around instinctively. Though, nothing could be visible. 

“What the hell was that?” you muttered to yourself. The eery streets of the city at night had yet to make you feel welcome.

Suddenly, what had looked like slender robots in black robes began sprinting toward you three, jumping out behind trash cans and street corners. Your heart sank to your stomach at the scene in front of you, your body frozen in shock.

“Footbots!” April screamed, exchanging looks with Casey. “Casey, get Y/n back home, I’ll handle them!”

Casey raised his eyebrows. “What?! No way, Red! You go home with Y/n, I’ll handle it.” He grabbed one of his hockey sticks and charged at the Footbots, leaving you not knowing what to do.

April grabbed what looked like a steel fan from her pocket and began fighting as well; it was a sight you never thought you’d ever see.

“Y/n, run!” April shouted over the sounds of steel against steel, and hockey sticks against cement.

You began running in the opposite direction of the chaos, in the direction of your home. Though it’d take about another ten minutes to get there, you were eager to do anything you had to get away from what you'd just witnessed.

You weren’t able to get far before one of the robots appeared in front of you, causing you to stumble back onto the cement. Your eyes wide with fear, staring at the huge being towering over you with a sword in hand. As it raised its sword, a blade sliced across its torso with a quickness you would have missed if you weren’t watching so intently. As the robot’s body fell in half onto the pavement in front of you, another being with green skin and a blue mask appeared, holding the katana that had saved your life. 

“Woah,” was all you could manage, staring at it. Green speckled skin, a plastron and a shell...was it a turtle? 

It left, fighting off the rest of the bots with three more that looked just like it, all with different colored masks and different weapons. Your heart was racing, you could feel your body pulsating with the very beat of your heart as the fight ensued. 

“Guys,” one of them spoke up. “Splinter’s not gonna be too happy about another human knowing about us.”

They can talk?

The four turtles and your two friends looked your way as your eyes rolled back and you felt your head hit the pavement before falling into unconsciousness.

You woke up in your bed, your redheaded cousin sitting at the foot of your bed. You groaned, your hand going to the back of your head where gauze had been placed. 

“Y/n,” April began, her voice soft. “We need to talk.”

“What happened last night?” you moaned, your vision spinning as the pain in the back of your head increased.

She grabbed a glass of water on your nightstand and handed it to you.

“Here,” she kept her hands on your own to ensure that you were holding it tight enough, tipping it back as you gulped. 

She stared down at her fingers, fumbling with them. This was a nervous habit you’d remembered your cousin having for as long as you could remember. But why would she be nervous, you thought to yourself. 

“Last night–”

“I saw something,” you interrupted. “Or some things,” you corrected, goosebumps rising along your arms as you thought about the turtles.

April sighed. “I know.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “What exactly were they? And what was attacking us?”

And so she began.

She told you everything; the turtles, Master Splinter, Shredder, the Kraang, mutagen. It was a moment of trust, a moment of trusting in one of her favorite people–one of the only people she had left.

“And now that you’re going to be living here,” April began.

“Then I should learn how to defend myself,” you finished for her.

She nodded, letting out a sympathetic sigh. “I’m so sorry for dragging you into this.”

You shook your head, grabbing her hands to hold within your own. “’United we stand, divided we fall’,” you quoted, a quote both your parents had said to you multiple times as children. “If you need another addition to your army, then count me in.”

As you both walked through the tunnels of the sewers, you kept your nose plugged.

“Does the smell get any better?” you groaned.

She nodded. “You get used to it; I had to live down here for a few weeks.”

You nearly gagged at the thought, before entering the lair.

There they were, once again. The red masked one was punching a large punching bag, the blue masked one was sitting in front of a television whilst the orange masked one sat next to him, pizza in hand. Pizza?! The fourth one was nowhere in sight. 

April gestured. “Y/n, these are the turtles,” she pointed to the red masked one, “that’s Raph,” she pointed to the blue masked one, “Leo,” she pointed to the orange masked one, “Mikey,” she paused, looking around. 

“Where’s Don-”

“Hi, April!” a voice exclaimed, nearly scurrying over to you both with a blush painted on his cheeks.

She rolled her eyes playfully. “And, that’s Donnie.”

Supposedly, after getting permission to bring you to the lair from Master Splinter, she’d warned them that you were coming. 

Leo looked over, his eyes finally peeling away from his show with a smile. “How’s your head feeling?” he asked, walking toward you.

You shrugged, gently blushing at the sudden attention. “It’s, uh, better now, but I don't think I hit it too hard to begin with.”

“Actually,” Donnie spoke, “the impact wasn’t enough to cause a lot of bleeding, but it'll be bruised for the next couple of days.”

You frowned. “W-were you the one who took care of my head?”

He nodded, invisible eyebrows furrowed in query. 

“Oh, thanks,” you said softly, “it’s healing really fast.”

He blushed, about to say something in return before his orange-masked brother interrupted him by running up to you.

“Well,” Mikey began, “I was the one who saved you a slice of pizza!”

The gang groaned in disgust; the slice of pizza had lint, worms, and an undetectable bug species sitting on top of the cheese. 

“Mikey, did you get that from under your bed?!” Leo scoffed.

Mikey smirked. “Mayybeee,” he eyed the slice. “It’s still good though, I think.”

He grinned at you, but could see the disgust in your appearance. He hung his head. “I guess I’ll just eat it,” he sighed.

You felt horrible, but in all honesty, the sight alone made your stomach churn. 

“Y/n,” you heard, distracting you from the moldy pizza.

You looked up, seeing the one and only Master Splinter. He looked completely different than how you’d pictured him in your head; he was much taller than you expected. He walked closer to you, until you were just feet apart. 

“April has told me a lot about you,” he began, his voice soothing to the ear. “I hope that you fulfill my wish to keep my sons and I a secret.”

You nodded. “Of course, urm, Master Splinter.”

He nodded, before calling the turtles to train with him.

“See you latah, Dudette,” Mikey bid with a wink, before running off to train with his brothers.

April looked at you, an eyebrow cocked at the deep blush on your cheeks.

“What?” you asked shyly.

“Nothing, Dudette,” April mocked with a grin.

You began to spend multiple days of the week at the lair with April and Casey, even bringing your homework down there after school; Master Splinter offered to train you, and you obliged. Mikey would be over your shoulder, asking you questions about your homework even after Leo had told him to give you some personal space. 

But you began to feel comfortable with the turtles, and you started to open up and reveal your personality. 

“Hey Mikey,” you announced, walking up to him in the kitchen. “Want to go train with me?”

You could have sworn that his pupils grew the size of bowling balls, and he was there with his nunchucks in no time.

You began training with the turtles, almost always with Mikey, though he refused to fight back or hit you. You’d share a pizza after, watch television, and eventually take a nap before he’d have to leave for patrol.

“You’re getting so good, Dudette!” he exclaimed after training, shoveling pizza slices into his mouth.

You blushed. “Thanks, Mikey...” You rolled your eyes as you watched him finish the box to himself. “Do we really have to eat pizza everyday?” 

“Yesss,” he said in a sing-song voice. “I love days like this; it’s my two favorite things!”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “What?”

“You and pizza, duh!” 

Your cheeks heated up, and you pressed a kiss onto his green freckled cheek.

“Thanks, Mikey. You know, if it weren't for you and your brothers saving me from those Footbots, then I wouldn't even be here,” you pointed out.

He grinned. “That makes me, like, a hero!”

You planted a kiss onto his lips, causing him to nearly melt into the floor.

“My hero,” you corrected.

[azucanela]

Hi i really loved your first date HC❤❤👌 i dont know if your requests are open but if they are could you maybe do the same thing with baby boi kiri ??

FIRST DATE HEADCANNONS + SCENARIOS

[ft. denki kaminari, kirishima ejirou]

bakugo, todoroki, shinsou version

SUMMARY: how did they ask you out? And how’d the date go? Well... 

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

WARNINGS: kissing, pretty pg, corny pick up lines

A/N: im glad you liked it! hope you don’t mind that i added denki bc i wanted to do more than one person lol. also im sorry it took so long!!! i lacked inspiration akjsdlksjkldj

DENKI KAMINARI

SO THIS ONE

so panicked when asking you out like he almost gets bakugo in on it

kirishima suggests super manly stuff like buying you roses but he ends up writing you a little note that says “will you go out with me? check yes or yes.” he’s kinda freaking out lol

he’s genuinely worried you will say no be careful with his heart

anyways he has it passed through the classroom and is highkey worried the note will be intercepted by aizawa but its fine it fine

and then mina gets it 

in all honesty, you probably thought the note was for mina, and if it did involve getting asked out, it was definitely for her

but then mina passes the note to you with a SMIRK

looks like someone couldn’t READ THE R O O M

smh

anyways, when he turns over to face you in the middle of class, basically sweating bullets, you’re kinda like ??? bc what is this mans doing

you look at the note and realize your name is on it like OH, he probably need homework answer lol

then you open it and it says “will you go out with me? check yes or yes.” 

even though he’s a really flirty person, he likes you alot so that persona kinda fades with you since he respects you 

and it also makes him really nervous around you

you’re kinda like :o

and he’s like :,)

so then you laugh a little in your seat and he begins to panic, and then you look over to him and with a lil grin, and after class you come up to him, “how about a study date, im honestly worried about your grades.”

then you kiss him on the cheek

kaminari.exe

hes dead you killed him, nearly passes out

and thats how denki got his first study date! because his crush who liked him back thought he was dumb!

poor bb

the actual study date would probably be in a café or a library

denki probably prefers the library since it would be easier to just make out with you in the isolated and quiet space BUT

you want food so café it is ugh, you don’t know what you’re missing out on.

he gets there first, and he actually brings his textbooks and homework, he’s invested and he wants to impress you so he is going to try his hardest okay

kaminari is internally panicking when he sees you, you do a lil wave and he swears his heart explodes with uwus and WOW you look SO good, he really wants to see you in street clothes more often.

he learns more that day than during his entire time in the hero course at UA. 

naturally, since you two live in the same dorm, he walks you back to your room

and then he comes inside

and then-

anyways he really really really want to kiss you on the first date and totally will if you allow it

you make him drink respect women juice at that café and he leaves a changed man

Denki’s knee was bouncing rapidly as he sat in the café. He’d taken the time this morning to pick out an outfit, and pack his textbooks, along with pens, highlighters, anything you could imagine really. If Y/N wanted a study date, he would try his hardest to make it the best study date possible, though he wasn’t really the best at studying, she’d been right when she’d pointed out his poor grades.

But hey, those grades got him a date, so they weren’t all that bad. 

He’s beginning to regret drinking caffeine as his hand taps against the table anxiously, despite his flirtatious personality, Denki had been on few dates. And he’d been stood up before, that was never fun. Also, it was Y/N, the girl who tried to help him pass all his classes, and shared food with him, and reminded him to do his work. This was important.

He’s about to pull out his phone and text her when the bell at the door of the café rings, his head snapping upwards at the sound to see if its Y/N. Relief floods him when he realizes it is her, a nervous smile finding it’s way onto his face as he waves at her. 

Y/N’s face lights up at the sight of him, and she makes her way over to him with ease, taking a seat across from him as she places her backpack on the floor. Y/N raises a brow, “some came prepared.”

“Yeah well, I’m excited to study.” His eyes meet hers, “with you.”

A small laugh escapes her, and Y/N tilts her head at him curiously, “I’m glad you’re excited.” Her eyes fall on the empty line in the café, “you want something?” 

Denki shakes his head, “no. I’m fine.” 

Y/N hums in response, sitting up to go buy a drink. Before heading over to the cashier, she leans over to him, grinning as she speaks, “calm down, Denki. It’s just a study date.”

“A study date with you.” Comes his response, earning him a flick to the head.

He decides then that Y/N looks very pretty in street clothes, it’s something he wished he’d seen sooner. Her outfit is fairly simple, but she looked beautiful in Denki’s eyes nonetheless. His eyes were trained on hers as she paid the barista, coming back to sit while she waited for her drink. 

Y/N rests her head in her hands, “so. You ready for a crash course in calculus?”

Denki hated school, he wouldn’t deny it. But learning alongside Y/N was far more bearable, and it gave him a sense of normalcy that he craved, seeing as he was incredibly nervous. Though Denki managed to loosen up over time, and now that they were walking back to the dorms, he found himself flirting like normal, “I’m not a photographer, but I could picture you and I together.”

She’s been laughing at the corny pick up lines he’s been using the entire walk home, “really now?” Y/N asks, grinning at him as they walk along the path.

“Yeah, really!” He replies, leaning closer to her, “now. Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?”

There’s a pause, and Denki wonders if he passed an invisible boundary as he turns to Y/N, only for her to yank him by the collar, bringing his lips to hers. Y/N’s other hand comes to his arm, and Denki is temporarily frozen, though he soon realizes he needs to reciprocate if he wants to keep kissing her.

He really wants to keep kissing her.

Bringing his hands to her waist, Denki pulls her closer, smiling when they pull away and she says, “you were wrong.”

KIRISHIMA EJIROU

THE MANLIEST MAN OF DATES

it’s literally just so much chivalry like kirishima single handedly revived it

chivalry is NOT dead, kirishima just has ALL OF IT

Anyways.

asks you out with the help of our boy baku, gets him to good a meal and puts it in some tupperware,

lol convincing bakugo was the funniest part, and he agreed only because he was like, “what you think my cooking couldn’t get you a date? just you watch!” 

genuinely sees his cooking as a means of bribery

kirishima is grateful because he cannot cook so i hope you can

buys you roses, and approaches you, obviously nervous but keeping his cool

you think he’s gonna ask out bakugo HADHJGDSJHGD

you nudge baku and he gives you a look and is all like, “what the hell, that is all clearly for you.”

y/n.exe

lol kirishima is really sheepish about it he’s all like, “so would you be interested in... i dunno maybe going to dinner or something, as a date?”

embarrased bb

you accept the roses and the food and smile at him like, “sure!”

kirishima is relieved™

your first date is probably just like to the mall, you two get food and shop its nice

tries to pay for everything but he is not todoroki

he is your sugar baby congrats

he likes to watch you shop because you get really excited over really simple things and he does too and its just really adorable

definitely wants a fashion show with you

you’ll probably be like, “i don’t wanna waste your time.”

and then you turn around and kirishima is already holding seven different outfits like, “FASHION SHOW!” because hes manly

he also thinks you look REALLY pretty in all these different outfits like wow

he also has a fashion show and he has no right looking that GOOD in these CLOTHES 

y’all probably have your first kiss here, like you’re trying on clothes and he is hyping you up and you get all soft and he gets off soft and he’s like can i kiss you? and you are like HELL YEHA

opens doors for you, pulls out your chair, gives you his jacket, the KING of being a gentleman 10/10 treats you right

would ask to kiss you and will respect whatever you say when he walks you back to the dorms too

assuming he gets a kiss he’s throwing a party lol

Kirishima smiles as he watches Y/N stare at a skirt, squinting at it as she examines it. It’s cute, she’s cute, and he was ecstatic when she’d agreed to go out with him. The date was simple, just a trip to the mall and lunch in the food court, they’d already eaten, so now Y/N was leading him around the mall as they looked at all the stores.

“Do you think this would look good on me?” She asks, bringing a skirt to her lower half to inspect the look.

He simply takes the skirt and throws it over his arm, which is already holding several other articles of clothing, not that he minds, “I think everything here is gonna look good on you.” Kirishima raises his arm up to gesture towards all the clothing he is carrying as he smiles at her. 

Y/N can’t help it when her cheeks warm and she looks away, “C’mon let’s go to the dressing rooms.” She mumbles, eyes falling on hi, “you sure you don’t want help carrying those?”

Kirishima puffs his chest out a bit at this comment, “I wouldn’t be a very manly boyfriend if I didn’t.” Came his response.

This earns him a raised brow from Y/N as she guides the two of them to the dressing rooms, “boyfriend huh?”

His cheeks flush as red as his hair, “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t-”

“I like it.” Y/N winks as she takes the clothes from his arms and heads into the dressing room, shutting the door behind her and leaving Kirishima in shock.

He had plopped down onto the bench outside the dressing room, earning sympathetic smiles from those who pass by him, though he really doesn’t mind. If he was honest, he liked this. Y/N got excited over the smallest of things and that got him pretty excited as well, her joy was contagious almost. Kirishima was shocked he’d even scored a date with Y/N in the first place, she was in the top of their class, and had a ridiculous amount of friends, and even more admirers it seemed. 

She’d been trying on clothes for quite some time now, exiting only to show him the outfits, not that responses to these outfits ever changed, since she looked beautiful every time. 

Resting his head in his hand, he hears Y/N call out, “you sure you aren’t bored yet?” She’s slipping on a different outfit, a small smirk on her face as she wonders what his reaction could be. 

“No, not at all.” Kirishima replied, shifting in his seat. 

And then Y/N came out of the dressing room, she had chosen the skirt she’d previously show him along with a low cut top that he had not seen her pick.

Oh god.

Kirishima felt his mouth go dry as it gaped open in shock, “how do I look?” Though she clearly knew what he thought, given his reaction, Kirishima couldn’t help but remind himself that it wasn’t manly to stare. 

“Pretty.” Kirishima replies, “really pretty.” He straighten in his seat, offering her a nervous smile as she watches her spin in a circle. “How is someone so beautiful, literally?

Y/N is beaming at him, a small laugh escaping her as she comes to stand in front of him and replies, “I could say the same about you.” Kirishima's face breaks out into a smile and she brings her hands to his shoulders, “thanks for taking me out Kiri.”

He tilts his head curiously at her actions, “thanks for agreeing to got out with me.”

She hums in response, hands coming to his cheeks as she stood between his legs, locking eyes with Kirishima Y/N gives him a small smile, “can I kiss you, Kiri?”

His eyes widen a fraction and he nods rapidly, “definitely.” He mumbles in reply, eyes closing as their lips met. Kirishima allowed his hands to come waist, squeezing her hips as they kissed.

Yeah, he liked this.

A/N: i have zero inspiration and i feel like kirishima is out of character i am sorry akjdhkjshdkjahs 🙃 anyways kirishima looks respectfully

TAGLISTS[lmk if you want to be added or removed via askbox or replies]

BNHA: @shawkneecaps​

[broadstbroskis]

surprises- pt 1 | mat barzal

welp, here we go with barzy baby fic! how long’s it going to be? your guess is as good as mine! but i’m excited to start sharing with you guys and i’d love to hear what you think!

warnings: mention of the pandemic/quarantine

-----

The timing was pretty poor, you could acknowledge that. 

Stuck in your apartment as a result of social distancing, you’d grown bored quickly. Working from home was only so exciting and your company’s slack channel was often getting more and more ridiculous as you and your coworkers searched for things to talk about (debates had thus far included best and worst Taylor Swift song, best and worst Harry Potter book, and ranking coworkers' new baby names).

Your roommate had left you on your own, in favor of quarantining herself with her relatively new boyfriend (ignoring your cries of betrayal as she left) so when your neighbor and friend from across the hall had come knocking, you welcomed him with open arms. “I’m bored out of my mind.” Your eyes are wide as you pull him inside.

“How do you think I feel?” You didn’t even notice the bottles of wine in Mat’s hands but you’re grateful for them as he settles them on the counter. “The only thing I can do is workout right now.”

You give him a look. “Yeah, because that’s what you need to be doing.”

“I’m going to lose my washboard abs.” He whines overdramatically, and that’s what sets you off.

Technically you’re still supposed to be working, but you know for a fact you’re not the only one who’s started drinking already and as long as you stay logged in for the next hour, no one will care. You and Mat quickly work your way through the first bottle and he’s popping the second one, while you log off your work account and place the take out order for pizza. 

The second bottle goes almost as quickly, but then the two of you slow down once the food arrives. Mat pops the third bottle in your apartment after dinner, when the two of you settle in together, very closely, much closer than usual, for some Netflix.

You’re not really sure who makes the first move; you know you’re leaning against him and that his arm is around you, brushing against your shoulder, but the next thing you remember, you’re in his lap and his hands are eagerly tracing every bit of skin they can find.

That you end up in bed after that isn’t surprising. That it keeps happening is a little surprising. But, well, there’s not really a lot else to keep you occupied.

And it’s lot more fun to spend your days fucking Mat than doing almost anything else. There’s apparently a lot you two have been missing out on that you could have been doing. 

Eventually, things go back to normal- or as normal as they could be after the pandemic that occurred-and despite the fun the two of you had during your quarantine, you fall easily back into friends and neighbors. Mat gets back to real training, a modified game schedule, and then into playoffs, where after crashing and burning in the first “round” (if you’d like to call it that), he heads back home to Western Canada for a shortened summer to catch up with family and friends.

You’re back at work, excited to be with people again. You and your coworkers institute happy hour Friday’s, where you all start ducking out of work two hours early-summer hours, your boss is calling them, completely ignoring the fact that no one else in your company is having them-to go to the bar, hang out, and just catch up after spending the long weeks apart. They usually end up turning into more of a shit show, with the office group chat often blowing up the next morning with complaints about how hungover people are.

It’s after one such happy hour that you first notice your issue. You wake up Saturday morning, roll over, and then immediately rush into the bathroom to throw up. Within the next hour, that happens four more times. 

You’re lying as still as possible on the couch in the living room when your roommate comes out of her room and straight up laughs at your misery. “It’s not funny.” You whine at her, even though it makes you kind of nauseous to even talk.

“Yes it is.” Molly snickers. “You were home by like 8. For a lightweight like me to get to sit here and watch you be hungover as fuck when you didn’t even have this crazy night, this is my Christmas. Welcome to the club, bitch!” She cackles, not unkindly, but definitely remembering all the times that you and your friends had laughed at her when she’d been in your position.

You barely even hear her, as the first part of her sentence registers, and you bolt upright, immediately regretting it as you do so. You were home by 8. You hadn’t even had that much to drink, begging off a third drink after a headache had started. There’s absolutely no reason for you to be feeling this way.

“You’re right!” You’ve learned from your mistakes and you slowly lower yourself back down to the couch. “I must have eaten something funny.” You’re already starting to feel a little better, you think; it wasn’t nearly as nauseating to lower to the couch. You’re actually almost feeling like you could stomach some food.

“Ugh.” Molly scoffs in disgust. “Couldn’t you just let me have this?”

“Want to watch some Netflix and order breakfast?”

“Fine.”

And as the day goes on, you feel a ton better, even feeling well enough to join Molly and her boyfriend for dinner at one of your new favorite places. It’s another early night and you hold off on booze, just because your stomach’s still feeling kinda queasy from the morning.

And it’s full on rolling again the next morning. You’re back in the bathroom again first thing, which is where Molly finds you, a look of concern on her face. “So, what’s going on?”

You close your eyes, a little more sure that the nagging thought from yesterday morning might be true. “I think we need to take a walk.”

She gives you a look. “To where?”

“Drug store.”

She inhales a sharp breath. “To buy?”

“I think you know what.”

“Yeah, but it wouldn’t be real to me until you said it.”

You stand up shakily, reaching for your toothbrush. No use in putting this off longer than you need to. “Yeah, me either.

Molly squeezes the arm that’s reaching out for your toothpaste comfortingly and then turns to leave and get ready herself.

-----

Once you’ve got far more pregnancy tests in your basket than you’ll hope to ever need in your life, Molly looks at you. “Did you want to take them all home or?”

“Or what? Take them here in CVS? This isn’t fucking Juno, Molly! We have an apartment!”

She shrugs as the two of you start walking up toward checkout. “Maybe you just didn’t want to taint your bathroom with those memories.”

That’s a good point. “I’ll just use yours.” You crack and the two of you burst into laughter, for the first time all day.

It feels so good to laugh that you don’t even notice someone calling out for your roommate. “Moll!” You both look around for the familiar voice, searching for Molly’s boyfriend, but you’d been so distracted by your laughter that you don’t realize how close he is until he speaks again. “Holy shit! Is there uh-something you need to tell me?”

Brian’s actually right there-like standing next to you, in line. Molly’s eyes are wide, looking between you and Brian in a panic as she’s unsure how to answer, so you step up. “They’re not for her; they’re for me.”

“Oh.” Brian says. Molly breathes out a sigh of relief. He looks over at you. “Uhh. Do I need to kick somebody’s ass?”

You burst into laughter and Molly slugs him on the arm. “Bri!”

“What?” He protests. “I’m just trying to be supportive.”

You’re still laughing. “Not yet.” You tell him. “I’ll keep you posted.” Brian’s great; the more time you spend with him, the more you grow to love him and the more convinced you become that he’s absolutely perfect for Molly. But there’s a zero percent chance he’s going to be able to beat up Mat, who’s probably got a good 3-4 inches and at least 30lbs. on him. 

Brian grins. “Done deal. Should I go grab some-” He pauses. “Well I was going to ask if I should grab some booze to get this party on the road but that doesn’t seem appropriate. Sparkling cider? Orange juice?”

“There’s no point in having orange juice if there’s not champagne in it.” You tell him.

“Ohh, go hit that juice bar we were at last week!” Molly requests. 

“See you in a few!” Brian salutes.

“I love him.” You tell her, as he exits the door.

“You can have him as a baby daddy.” She offers.

“I might take you up on that.” You pay for the absurd number of pregnancy tests and begin walking with her back home.

She scoffs. “Yeah, like you’re gonna need a stand in.”

You’re actually pretty nervous of that fact.

-----

A few hours later, you’ve got a string of positive pregnancy tests sitting in a row on the living room table. Not even one negative giving you a sliver of hope. Brian and Molly are drinking for you, for all three of you, and you’re sitting in your corner of the couch numbly staring at them.

Suddenly, you can’t take it anymore. You reach for your phone and press the contact for the one voice you need to hear now.

Mat answers almost immediately, laughing, sounding like he’s having a great time, doing...whatever he’s doing back at home. Sounding young and carefree, like the 23 year old he is. Like the 23 year old you usually sound like.

“Hey!” You can practically hear him grinning through the phone.

“Hey.” You are...decidedly not grinning, but you do your best to stay upbeat and positive. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, immediately, so you must not have done too good a job.

“Nothing.” You tell him. Despite what all the tests are saying, you don’t want to say anything until you call your doctor first thing in the morning. And this certainly isn’t a conversation you want to have with him over the phone if you can help it. “Just-a little bit of a crazy weekend.” Not necessarily in the sense you’d usually be referring, but not a lie, all the same.

“Big parties?” Mat teases.

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath and trying not to cry. “Something like that.”

You can practically hear him frown. “Are you sure you’re okay, YN?”

“Yeah.” You tell him. “Just wondering when you’re coming back so I don’t have to water your plants anymore.”

“Do I still even have plants?” He asks skeptically. “I know what your black thumb is like.”

“I guess you’ll see when you come back!” The answer is no. There were no plants. You and Molly kept swearing you’d go out and replace them with new ones before he came back, but you were sure he’d be able to tell. He always could.

Mat laughs. “I know what that means.” In the background, you hear someone call for him and he shouts for them to fuck off. 

“You got to go?”

“We’re about to go finish our hike.” Mat says, apologetically. “Have to get down the mountain now.”

“Ugh.” You scrunch your nose.

“Alright, city girl.” He teases. “I’m sure I’ll talk to you soon!”

“Excuse you, I am from Larchmont!”

He laughs again. “I think that’s probably worse.”

“Don’t fall down the mountain.” You tell him dryly.

“Is Molly there? I want to make sure you aren’t holding a voodoo doll right now.”

You laugh. “Bye Mat.” He bids you the same and you hang up, feeling much better than when you called.

Still anxious as shit, but at least Mat is still the same Mat.

You wonder for how long that will last after you tell him.

[purrincess-chat]

Happy Birthday, Kaylee!

@lnc2 had a birthday recently, and I actually started this a couple months ago in preparation for her birthday, but life happened and I didn’t get around to finishing it until now. I hope you had a good birthday, Kaylee! You are the truest Ladrien stan among us. 

Read on AO3

“Absolutely not,” Tikki said, crossing her arms with a scolding indignance that Marinette more or less expected when she’d made such a risky suggestion.

“Oh, come on, Tikki! Marinette can’t get into the party, but who in their right mind will turn down Ladybug?” Marinette pleaded, pressing her hands together. “We can just hop in through the window. No one will throw us out.”

“The Miraculous aren’t meant to be used for selfish purposes,” Tikki said pointedly as if Marinette had forgotten which wasn’t entirely true. Marinette knew that her powers weren’t meant to be misused, but it just so happened that she didn’t consider this particular case to be unjustified.

“You know what’s selfish? The boys all ditching us to have a party while we do all the hard work planting trees around the city,” Marinette said, placing her hands on her hips. “Ladybug should go in there and give them a lecture on keeping their promises.” Tikki gave her a look that was anything but impressed, and Marinette sighed. “Please? I’ll never abuse my power ever again.”

“Marinette,” Tikki hesitated. “I don’t like this, but I know you’ll stop at nothing until you get inside.”

“True, and my other methods could be really risky and dangerous,” Marinette said, giving Tikki a knowing look as she sighed.

“Okay, okay, but don’t get so absorbed with Adrien that you forget that you’re supposed to be helping your friends. If you join the party, you’re not much better than they are for ditching,” Tikki said, and Marinette crossed her heart.

“I won’t stay long, I promise. I just want to see what they’re up to,” Marinette said. “Tikki, spots on!”

- - -

“Is your best bro awesome or what?” Nino said, draping an arm over Adrien’s shoulders. “Not bad for your first party, right?”

“I’ve never had this much fun before. I wish I could party like this every day,” Adrien laughed. “Thanks for doing all this, Nino.”

“Don’t sweat it, my dude. That’s what friends are for.” Nino ruffled his hair, stopping short when Nathaniel raced over with wide eyes.

“We’ve got a bit of a problem,” he said, and Nino quirked a brow.

“What’s up, du-”

“Hey, boys.”

Everything in the room stopped. The loud chatter ceased, and every head turned to the window, jaws dropping in awe. The crowd stared in disbelief, Nino smacked his forehead, muttering curses under his breath, but Adrien? Adrien froze. Every muscle locked in place, refusing to turn away from the radiant goddess standing above them. The sun illuminated her figure like an angel descending from heaven, and a blush crept up his neck, painting his cheeks as scarlet as her suit.

Ladybug.

“Mind if I drop in?” She asked, hopping down from the window just as cheers erupted around her.

“No, no, no, she can’t stay here,” Nino was saying to Nathaniel over the noise, and Adrien’s head snapped to face him.

“Why?” Adrien asked, and Nino crossed his arms over his chest.

“Because this is an all dude’s party, and Ladybug is not a dude,” he huffed, attempting to make a move toward her, but Adrien stepped in his path.

“Yeah, but it’s Ladybug. Don’t you think the savior of Paris deserves a place at any party?” Adrien asked.

“If Chat Noir shows up, he can stay, but right now, Ladybug is totally crashing the vibe,” Nino said, shaking his head. “Sorry, bro, but she needs to go.”

Nino attempted to step around him once more, but Adrien grabbed his arm and tugged him back.

“Can’t she just stay for a little while?” Adrien asked, and Nino’s eyes narrowed.

“Who’s the party expert?” He cocked a brow, but Adrien pressed his palms together with a pout.

“Please! Just for a little while,” Adrien said, and Nino, though clearly unhappy with the arrangement, rolled his eyes and shrugged.

“Fine, she can stay for 30 minutes,” Nino relented, and Adrien pulled him in for a tight hug.

“Thanks, bro! You’re the best,” he said before pushing through the crowd of bodies surrounding Ladybug, unaware of how Nino’s eyes narrowed.

“It’s so awesome that you could make it, Ladybug,” Jagged was saying.

“Yeah!”

“Totally!”

“Well, I was just passing by and heard some commotion, so I thought I’d stop in and see what was going on,” she said, waving it away as if it were no big deal, but it was probably the biggest deal of Adrien’s life.

Ladybug was here. In his room, at his party. If this was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up.

“Uh, hello,” he said, giving a small wave, and she trained brilliant blue eyes on him.

“H-Hello, I hope you don’t mind that I crashed your party,” she said, clasping her hands together in front of her.

“Not at all,” Adrien said as Nino grumbled, “Kinda.”

“Stay as long as you like,” Adrien said, and everyone around them cheered and went back to their activities, leaving Adrien and Ladybug alone. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Sure!” Ladybug said, allowing him to lead her over to the drink cooler that was being guarded by a particularly familiar face.

Adrien glanced at Master Fu then at Ladybug who did the same for him, but she plastered on a cool mask that Master Fu matched.

“Excuse me, uh, sir, can we get a juice for the lovely lady?” Adrien said, playing it cool. He wasn’t quite sure what the protocol was in this situation seeing as they both knew who Master Fu really was, and Master Fu knew who they really were, but none of them could say so in the given context.

“Of course,” Master Fu said with a smile, jumping up from the cooler. “Great party.”

“Yeah, isn’t this a bit of a strange place for a man like you to be?” Ladybug asked, her voice cautious and purposeful.

“I could ask the same of you, young lady. What business could a superhero have at a house party?” Master Fu shot back, quirking a brow as he dug for a drink for her.

“Superheroes like to have fun every now and then,” she said, cocking a hip.

“As do I,” Master Fu said, a glint of mischief in his eyes that brought a smile to Ladybug’s lips. “Besides, I have everything I need here.”

He patted the cooler, and Ladybug relaxed, accepting the can from him. Something seemed to pass between the two, and had Adrien not been in on the secret, albeit without Ladybug’s knowledge, he might have dismissed it as a playful quip between strangers. But he did know better, and Fu knew he knew better which is why he flashed Adrien a wink the moment Ladybug turned her back.

“This sure is a wild party. Everyone seems to be having fun,” Ladybug said, taking a sip of her juice.

“You think so?” Adrien asked, shoving his hands in his pockets and keeping pace with her across the room. “It’s my first real party, and it’s gotten a little crazier than I expected. I mean Jagged Stone showed up, Officer Roger is here…you’re here.”

At that she smiled, flicking his nose with a gloved finger. “Well, I wanted to make sure all the commotion wasn’t an akuma’s doing. You’re too precious to get captured,” she said, then quickly added, “I mean- the safety of all of Paris’ citizens is my top priority, so naturally I wanted to make sure you’re okay seeing as you are a citizen in Paris.”

His cheeks burned, and Ladybug took a long swig of her drink. Nino’s eyes followed their every move, and Adrien could feel them baring into the back of his neck. He wasn’t sure what his issue with Ladybug being there was, but Adrien couldn’t pass up an opportunity to be with her. He only wished they could be more alone.

“I’m really glad you came,” Adrien said, and Ladybug leaned her ear closer.

“What?” She shouted over the music that seemed too loud all of a sudden. Adrien turned to see Nino and Max adjusting the volume again, and with their backs turned, he took Ladybug by the hand and tugged her out into the foyer.

“Sorry, it’s a little loud in there,” he said. “Why don’t we go somewhere quieter? Just you and me. I have the perfect place.”

“Okay,” she said, and Adrien swore her cheeks flushed under her mask.

Rays of sunlight trickled into the garden, butterflies fluttering between flower bushes. There had always been a lot of butterflies there as long as he could remember, and he and his mother liked to watch them in the springtime. His eyes found her statue, filling his stomach with a heavy longing at the memory.

“You miss her a lot, huh?” Ladybug said, and he blinked as her fingers laced through his, realizing he’d been squeezing her hand. That he was still holding her hand, and more importantly, that she didn’t seem to mind.

“Uh, yeah,” he said, gazing out over the yard. “This was kind of our sanctuary. It’s a quiet place where we don’t have to worry about anything else.”

“It’s beautiful,” she said, pointing to the statue, and Adrien smiled.

“Yeah, my dad goes kind of overboard sometimes with the décor. Most of the big portraits are kind of embarrassing, but I think this one is my favorite. Sometimes I just sit out here, and it feels like she’s here with me, ya know?” His cheeks flushed, and he cleared his throat. “Sorry. That’s lame.”

“No, no, I think it’s really sweet. If I lost my mom, I’d probably feel the same way,” she assured him, and he relaxed, turning to face her.

“I don’t want to talk about sad things right now. I just want to spend time with you,” he said, taking her other hand and moving it up to his shoulder. “I know you’re probably busy, but while we’re here…May I have this dance?”

Ladybug searched his expression, and this time she definitely blushed. Nevertheless, she kept her hand in his as they swayed to their own rhythm. It didn’t matter that there was no music; the only melody he needed was her bright blue eyes.

He wanted to savor this moment. To burn it into his memory. No matter what happened between them or how she felt, this moment in the garden would always be his.

“You’re a great dancer,” he said, spinning her out.

“It helps to have a great partner,” she laughed.

Feeling risky or perhaps just overconfident, he dipped her backwards, touching his forehead to hers. He realized his blunder and instantly wished he could take it back, but to his surprise, Ladybug didn’t push him away. When they straightened, she lingered close, the heat of her blush mixing with his own. Her breath hitched when he leaned down, but before their lips could touch, a loud crash boomed inside the house followed by screaming.

“It’s probably an akuma. Stay here and hide, okay?” Ladybug said, pushing him into a bush.

“Ladybug, wait!” Adrien grabbed her wrist, and when her mask raised, he added, “Um, thank you for the dance.”

She looked him up and down then with a swift motion he would spend the next 8 years thinking about, she stretched up to kiss his cheek.

“Be safe,” she whispered, backing away, “and invite me to your next party, okay?”

Adrien leaned against the wall with a sigh, touching the spot on his burning cheek. One thing was for sure: he needed to let Nino throw him parties more often.

[if-weshadows-haveoffended]

Sunshine- James Bond x Reader

A/N: GUESS WHOS BACK BINCHES. Oh man uni really did run me over with a semi-trailer. Hot Tip: biochem really do be the work of the devil. Feel free to send in fic or mixtape requests, I’ve got all the time in the apocalypse for them.

Look, I know Judi Dench dies in Skyfall but she’s the only M I will ever recognise (even though I do love Ralph Fiennes). Nothing makes me happier than the time M straight up calls Brosnan!Bond a misogynist. Also, I decided to tell this from the perspective of Q, just because I feel like he’s the only one with the emotional range to articulate in vivid detail the absolute delight that would be watching James Bond have Soft Romantic Feelings. God he was just so soft in Casino Royale before all that shit went down (rest in pieces my girl vesper lynde).

Title: Sunshine Original Request: Could you do a James Bond x reader where the reader is a doctor at MI6 and when Bond comes back from his missions, she’s really gentle and sweet in taking care of his wounds? And Q and M hardcore shipping them because they have never seen Bond flustered ever, and the reader kinda just manages to make him blush when she smiles at him and immense fluff ensues (and sweet pet names for each other) (x) Tags: @roseslovedreams​ , Fluff, sass, S O F T N E S S, Craig!Bond, Q, M, Doctor!Reader Words: 1300+ Masterpost: here (x) Prompt List: here (x) Mixtape Archive: here (x)

“Bond? Bond, were you even fucking listening to anything I said?” Bond raised his head from staring at his hands with vague disinterest- no. No Q wouldn’t call it disinterest. He watched the way the man stood up, adjusting his suit and leaving M without his usual pathetic quips.

No, Q was intrigued. This was something wholly different. In fact, if he was so bold as to suggest it, the man was distracted… on edge almost.

“Did I just see what I just saw?” M asked him, disbelief clear on her face. “I almost miss the blatant insults.”

“Well, it’ll be a nice change for a while, I suppose. Keeps bullying me into making him exploding pens.” Q muttered under his breath.

“Oh, Q, don’t let the bastard get to you. Its just his way of trying to be helpful.”

But even later that afternoon, at his appointed meeting with the surprisingly forlorn agent, there were no questions about exploding pens. Absolutely no protest about having a fancier car than 006 (to be fair, he was glad, she would take care of that car far better than 007), and even no jab about how Q’s non-existent acne was today. Usually, it would be cause for celebration and something to tell his cats. But this was just unsettling. It seemed wrong.

In fact, Q was on the verge of considering himself genuinely concerned about 007. Or at least he would have been until he very quickly connected the dots. He watched as the man stared after the woman who had just entered the room, looking mildly irritated as she threw a stack of papers at the agent.

“Don’t fucking lie on my reports, Bond. I spent years training to be where I am now and I think I can tell when sample baselines have been meddled with.” Q considered this to be a fairly mild telling off by her standards, but oh no, the man appeared to be mildly enjoying it. He considered the slight rise of colour in his cheeks to be the most emotion he’d gotten out of him all month.

“I just don’t want you to concern yourself, Sunshine, I’m perfectly fine,” 007 murmured, struggling to make eye-contact with their resident doctor.

“You’re not.”

“I am, and I will be fine, and I will come back in one piece.” He protested stronger this time, his hands resting on her upper arms, trying to convince her that he would indeed be fine and not crash yet another expensive car into the mountainside.

“You promise?” Her question was softer this time, the intensity of her gaze and Bond’s solemn stillness had absolutely transfixed Q’s attention. The way the man released her from his grasp, his fingers barely, just barely brushing her skin for longer than would be deemed necessary- the way he cleared his throat and gave the shiest smile possible. He didn’t even know Bond could look that way.

Hopeful. Hopeful and for once scared of fucking up. He fidgeted with a well-polished cufflink, staring at his shoes before meeting her gaze once more.

“Of course, can’t have you spending your time around 006.” He scoffed sarcastically. The doctor raised a brow.

“Oh, but she’s far prettier to look at than you.” She teased, her smile sharp and predatory. If Q wasn’t mistaken, the small smile pulling at the corner of Bond’s mouth meant that he enjoyed the sensation of somehow looking like a rabbit about to be slaughtered by a wolf.

And so he hurriedly relayed everything back to M who, after clearing up the tea she had choked on and spilled over her paperwork, immediately descended into a minute forty-seven of breathless laughter. Tears spilling from the corners of her eyes, she asked him if it would be worth forcing the man to retire early. She would love nothing more, she had finally gotten out after a few seconds, than to see the man in a ‘kiss the chef’ apron and serving their doctor a home-made dinner.

“Oh god, could you imagine him taking dogs for a walk? Or just… just…” She faltered now, leaning back in her chair with a softer smile on her face.

“Just?” Q asked.

“Be happy.” She finished, “They all know what they signed up for. Just that none of us ever expect to find something worth losing. You don’t remember what he used to be like, do you?” He shook his head in response, “After Venice something happened to him. He lost whatever soul he had left. Most of us lose it along the way, but I didn’t realise it turned him into something else outright.”

Well, that made his decision for him.

Within the hour he and M and made the oh-so-very solemn pact that they would do everything possible to get Bond kicked out of the service due to his overwhelming feelings for one particular woman. He even made the note to prepare a best man’s speech just in case he was asked.

And eventually (after some days or maybe weeks, he wasn’t even sure anymore) Bond sauntered back home, bruised and bloody and sporting a smug grin as he handed M the stolen spyware.

“Must you drip blood everywhere?” M sniffed, though Q pretending to show interest in the gadgets that had just been handed over, noticed her stifle a grin. “Anyway go and get yourself patched up, god knows why I keep you here.”

“Oh you love me,” M only deigned to roll her eyes.

Q escorted the man down to the medical centre, watching with rapt attention at how the façade just crumbled before him. The man who naught but five minutes ago was all bravado and quips now reduced to nerves once again. Okay, okay, you got this. “So, 007…”

The agent let go of a long-suffering sigh, “Haven’t you got 006 to equip with some laser high-heels?”

He took a deep breath, trying to steel himself, “Well, no, actually I’ve got to remove your biometric chip. Doctor Y/N has agreed to assist me with the whole process.” Bond stopped in his tracks, turning to face him with a look somewhere between excitement and fear. “If you have no objections of course.” He winced at how brightly that last statement came out.

“No… not at all.” And they continued on their way, eventually reaching the clinic.

And he couldn’t do anything but watch in amazement at how Bond suddenly shifted. He’d almost laugh if it didn’t genuinely hurt his cold heart at how happy the man looked. He watched as she’d gently cut away burned fabric, cleaning wounds and beginning her stitches. She would apologise and with an unfairly attractive smile he’d say she barely hurt him. Q wasn’t even sure if this sort of bodily contact was considered professional, the way her hand cradled against his jaw as she dabbed away at his bloodied temple. And he couldn’t help but smile as the man simply looked both flustered and confused at just how achingly gentle she was being, as if he deserved none of this. M had once described Bond as a blunt instrument, incapable of nothing but brute force. But here he was, nothing but softness in his manner and the blue of his eyes.

It felt as if he were intruding as he instructed her in removing the biometric chip, her hand caressing the nape of his neck as well-practised hands were expertly trying to remove the small implant. She would hum under her breath, like a soothing lullaby putting Bond at ease, her hand suddenly reaching for his as he held back a groan of pain and the bloodied chip hit the floor.

“Easy now darling, it’s done. I’m here.” Her voice was soft as she knelt before him now, her hands atop his.

Bond, his gaze never wavering from hers, brough her palm to his lips and pressed a chaste kiss. He murmured his thanks and she merely smiled back in return.

God help him, the man was a romantic. He was going to need a drink after this.

[haziel-luz]

Own it..then Redeem it (2007!Leonardo x reader)

Chapter 1: Still Waiting 

I’m giving you guys the first chapter to see how you feel about it. The other chapters is in the link at the end of this chapter, if you wanna see more. This is an ongoing story, so I’m not sure how long it will be, but enjoy~~😍

Summary: You haven't had good days since Leo left, but why should you wait for him to come back and make it better? Instead of looking back, you should look forward cause there are better things waiting for you. Or so you thought...

"(Y/n), can you do us a big favor and come by tonight, I got a feeling that Casey is going trick and treating tonight and I need you to remind him that he's got a deadline to meet." April says through the phone a little irritated and you giggle.

"Not responding to your messages today huh." You say walking to my fridge and getting a beer.

"Exactly, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with him." She says with a huff while you open my beer.

"Well April, we're gonna have to let the boys be boys until they learn a big lesson into becoming a man." You say getting my jacket and walking out of my window and up the rooftop.

"So never?" She says and you laugh, and then you hear rustles of leaves in her background.

"Where are you now by the way?" you ask curiously.

"Well there's this guy that is really obsessed with these ancient statues and I bring those to him for a good price. I'm actually at the jungles of Central America looking." She says cutting down some leaves while you open my chair and sit on it with an open beer.

"That's cool, I wish I can get to travel just to clear my head for a while." You said drinking my beer a bit.

"Yea it's beautiful here, and there's also this legend going around the village about the "Ghost of the Jungle"." You laugh at the name and shake my head.

"Now there's something to be on the lookout in the jungle, be careful April or the ghost will get you too." You say jokingly and giggle.

"This is actually serious though, this legend is actually an active hero. This guy helps the village in danger and no one knows his identity, all he does is kicks the bad guys asses and he retreats into the shadows of the jungle. Kinda seems familiar don't you think?.." April explains with a soft voice at the end and you go from a smile to a straight face.

"Familiar to who exactly?" You say with no tone and stare at the city.

"(Y/n), you know who I'm talking about. Don't you think it's time that someone finds him?" April says gently.

"April if he wanted to be found, then you would've found him right when you got into the jungle, trust me I know him, he's probably observing you right now just to make sure your safe." You say with a sigh and rub my face softly.

"That sounded a little creepy but you might have a point, but I still think I can give it a shot, the guys need him back." She says while cutting more leaves down.

"Yea your right, just be careful, Leo isn't the only one in the jungle." You say getting up with the empty beer in hand.

"Want me to give him a message from you?" She asks softly. You think about it for a moment and shake my head.

"I don't think that's necessary, if he wants to be in contact with me then he'll find a way to do it, just get back safe." You say putting that beer bottle in the trash can and starting to walk across the rooftop.

"Alright, I'll update you later about him, see you soon and I'll be careful, oh and don't forget to give Casey a surprise visit." She says with a serious voice in the end and you laugh.

"Don't worry I will, bye."

"Bye (Y/n)."

We both hung up the phone and you started running across the rooftops to get to Casey.

__________________________

It wasn't easy trying to find Leo at all in this jungle, he could basically fit in by just walking around being green and all. April heard rustling in the bushes and she slowly stood up with a raised eyebrow.

"Is anyone here?" Proceeding through the bushes and looking around. "Hello?"

I'm starting to get tired of this. Maybe (Y/n)'s right-

She suddenly fell through a hole and crashed through vines. April yell and close her eyes waiting for a strong impact, but when she landed, she didn't land on anything hard.

"It's a long way from the city to just drop in." She hear a familiar voice and open her eyes to see Leo in the flesh grinning.

"Leo." April smiled, happy to finally see her lost friend.

They talked and she tried convincing him to come back for his brothers but he's too stubborn. Why won't he budge?

"Your training period ended a year ago, and Splinter says you don't write anymore." April keeps persuading him, hoping that it would at least make him think about it.

"Splinter sent me down here to become a better leader. I can't go back to failure. Besides, these people need me more than my brothers do." He confirms while poking the fire with a frown.

"If Master Splinter were here, he would ask you 'what is your heart telling you?'" She said softly while looking at him.

"I don't know..I just know something's missing." Leo sighs while standing up and dropping the stick in the fire.

If (Y/n) were here, she knew what to say to him. Speaking of which...

"What about (Y/n)?" April asked hesitantly. Leo froze and looked back at her.

"What about her?" Leo asked as if he was clueless. She sighed and shook her head.

"Don't you think it was a bad idea breaking up with her through a letter?" She responded, observing his reaction. He looked away a little sad but looked back at her with his regular self.

"I did what I had to. She can't have a normal life with a mutant like me, April. I'm supposed to help everyone move forward, not holding them back." Leo picks up another stick for the fire.

"You should've talked to her to see how she feels about this. She has the right to choose her own path and future. Leo, you should've seen how heartbroken she was. (Y/n) wasn't able to think about her future, she was just furious at herself for not knowing what she did wrong." April reasoned gently and he clenched his fists.

"It was hard sending that letter..but I had to. Come on April, we're talking about (Y/n) here, she's so loyal that she'd do anything to be by my side, even if I can't give her the life she deserves. I don't want her to sacrifice all those great opportunities out there because of me. I just can't live with myself if I failed her." Leo sighed and looked away.

"If you're willing to let her go for good, at least give her some closure, she needs that to move forward. Your brothers need you, Leo. They're all lost without you." April looked down sadly at everyone else's outcome for his absence. When she looked back up, he was gone. She tried calling out for him and looking for a bit but it was getting dark, and she needed to get back home.

Looks like I'm coming home empty handed.

_______________________

You ended up on Casey and April's rooftop apartment and checked that Casey wasn't there. You sighed and shook your head while looking at your watch.

"A little early for playing vigilante this evening Jones." You looked around and closed your eyes while closely listening to the city and focused intensely.

Your vision went dark and back into seeing Casey beating up some crook with another vigilante with a metal suit.

"Ah, so the Night watcher is at it again and with a side kick." You say opening my eyes and start sprinting and jumping across the rooftops.

You got to them when the guys were tying the guy up in chains and you cross my arms looking at Casey.

"Really Casey? I thought you were gonna watch a game tonight." Casey and the Nightwatcher turned around surprised.

"(Y/n)?? How did you find me?" Casey said, taking off his hockey mask.

"It really wasn't that hard, trust me." You say and look at the Night Watcher, slowly walk towards him.

"So you're the Night Watcher huh? Never thought I'd bump into you." You say crossing my arms and tilt your head while Casey looks a little nervous.

"Nice to meet you as well ma'am but I-uh gotta go-"

"Raph I know it's you."

"Is it really that obvious?!"

"Yes it was that obvious." You laugh and shake your head

He takes off his helmet and glares at Casey who was laughing.

"Can it sidekick". Raph points at Casey

You hear a groan on the ground and look at the douchebag, he started to crawl and climb away from us.

"Aww, ain't that cute, he's trying to get away." Casey sweetly mocks.

You turn to the boys and you all smirked at each other, you turn back to the crook and approach him.

"Well, looks like I got sidekicks." Casey grins and you huff.

"Yea right, you're the sidekick." Raph says confidently.

"In your dreams boys." You glare playfully at them.

_______________________

Once the crook was chained to the light post, we three ended up on the roof top watching the crowd.

Casey and I look at each other knowing the burning question in our minds. You were brave enough to ask first.

"Hey, what's with the vigilante phase? I thought you and your brothers were done with fighting crime since Leo left." You asked, concerned for his well being. Raph sighed and he looks at the street.

"What was I supposed to do? Sit around, wait for Leo to come back and save the day? I mean we haven't heard word one from him since Splinter sent him away on his little "vacation." Raph glares at the street.

"You're right on that part, but don't you think it's a little tiresome cleaning the streets by yourself? I mean, there hasn't been a foot clan activity since the Shredder's death, so there's no use of handling lower class criminals." You sighed softly and nodded towards the guy chained on the light post.

"Come on, you think these lowlifes take vacations at the first sign of pressure? No. The criminal element of this city may be guilty of a lot of things, but being quitters ain't one of them." Raph puts his helmet in his duffle bag. You look towards Casey and he nods.

"So, what happens if Leo comes back? Are you gonna keep being the NightWatcher?" You asked softly with concern.

"You know, I-I don't even care about Leo anymore. Kinda hope he never comes back." Raph gets up with a dismissive wave. You sighed a bit, kinda feeling guilty about thinking the same thing.

"Come on, aren't you being a little hard on the guy?" Casey suggested calmly.

"Who wouldn't be hard on him." You mumbled quietly.

"I don't know. It's possible. I guess if I could live anywhere other than the city I'd go to, but I can never leave this place. I can't even sleep without the sound of the subway rumbling over my head." Raph sighs while his hands above his head, making his point.

"No offense, but aren't you guys used to loud noises by now since you guys make a lot of noise." You pointed out, looking at him. He sat back down beside me.

"Guess it comes from growing up with a house full of brothers." Raph looks down at the streets again.

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do, I'm just saying that, if it was my brother, I'd find a way to work it out. But that's just me. I got my own issues y'know? Like back at home with April." Casey says, taking off his hockey mask.

"You don't say." You hide my grin and let him continue.

"There's this whole thing about settling down that makes me miss the old times. I don't know if I can be the grown up she needs me to be." Casey sighs and looks down at the street. You pat his shoulder lightly and smile at him.

"It's okay to miss the old times, but it's not okay to wait for it to come back. We all had a good run together. It's time to make more out of our lives other than breaking bones every once in a while. It's not gonna be easy to let go of those awesome times but we can make better ones. Just think about what you want to do with April." You reassured him with a gentle smile and he smiled back.

Casey puts his hockey mask on top of his head and we hear snoring. We look to our right and see Raph asleep while sitting up. Casey sighs and You giggle at Raph's tired state.

"Good talk Raph." Casey sarcastically says and stands up to shake him. You stop him and smile.

"I'll take him back to his place, you go back to your apartment and rest. April told me to tell you to stay alert of the time tomorrow. She's gonna be coming back waiting for you." You informed him with a grin and picked up Raph's duffle bag.

"Oh shit. Thanks for the heads up, I'll put the alarm clock on. Are you sure you can handle this?" Casey gestures towards Raph and you laugh.

"I've handled him from the very beginning, watch this." You grin and knock Raph's shell, making Casey eyes a bit wide.

"Come on Raph, you're sleeping on the rooftop again. Let's go to the lair." You insisted and Raph wakes up and rubs his eyes while standing up.

"Sorry Casey, what were ya saying?" Raph asks looking at Casey. Casey rolls his eyes and pats your back.

"Nothing sidekick, just saying goodnight because April needs me in the morning." Casey salutes to Raph and puts his bat over his shoulder.

"Alright, see ya later." Raph was confused but shrugged it off.

Once Casey left, you walked with Raph to the nearest manhole cover. It's been almost three weeks since you've been to the lair. Being busy with being a bartender and waitress at a fancy restaurant wasn't easy to balance.

"So, how have you been?" Raph questioned curiously.

"Things have been coming along, pretty tired from the long shift, but I'm taking some days off to save the energy." You smiled at him.

"Meet anyone new?" He raised an eyebrow, hinting something.

"Raph...I don't know..He's a good guy, and wants nothing but to spend time with me whatever chance he gets. I don't feel ready for that no matter how long he waits." You hop down the fire escape and stand beside the manhole cover with him. Raph notices the internal battle I'm having and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay. Just go on one date with him and see how it goes. If you still don't feel like you're ready then cut it off, but if you do then keep going. Stop waiting on Leo to come back. It's been a year. After that letter, you should start thinking about what's best for you. No more looking back." Raph softly says and see's your eyes collect tears, he froze in place, not sure what to do.

"I just want to know why I wasn't enough..." Your voice cracked and tears started to fall from my eyes. Raph sighs and hugs you close.

"It's gonna be okay." Raph murmured softly, rubbing your back. Ever since the break up letter, Raph has been there for you. April was the first to know but since she couldn't stand the way you were shutting myself out, she told the guys about it. Splinter was surprised to learn that his eldest son has ended the relationship with the woman he truly loves.

Ever since then, they were the ones picking up the pieces that Leo left behind. Raph was pretty pissed when Leo decided to break things off with you. He thought that it was cowardly on Leo's part, he may be his brother but you're like a sister to him. He's gonna show Leo that he can't get away with anything when he comes back.

Once you were done crying, Raph took his duffle bag from you and opened the manhole cover.

"You should sleep, and then visit us tomorrow cause Mikey won't shut up about you." Raph grunts thinking about Mikey, making you wipe your tears and giggle.

"I will come by after my shift, so tell Mikey to hold on a little longer." You smile gently. Raph nods and smiles while going into the sewers.

You sigh, disappointed by how Leo still had this affect on you, feeling sorry for yourself and lowering your self esteem. It's been over a year and you need to move on from him. On your walk home you pull out your cell phone and call the number. He picked up on the second ring.

"(Y/n), it's nice to hear from you, are you alright?" He softly asks, concerned.

"I'm good Winters, I-uh, wanted to take your offer on coffee tomorrow. I'm sorry if I called you at a bad time." You felt nervous accepting his offer but you need to keep going.

"Not at all my dear, I'm rather happy of this surprise. I'll come pick you up around 8 o'clock, will that be alright?" You could hear the smile through the phone even though you couldn't see it.

"That sounds great, see you then?" You smiled through the phone as well.

"See you then (Y/n)." Winter chuckles and you both hang up.

You smiled to yourself and put a strand of hair behind your ear, you walked into your apartment and landed on the bed. You finally took the step to move forward and you don't feel as guilty as you would a couple months ago. You get up from the bed and smile while picking out the clothes from your closet, ready for tomorrow in general. You changed into your comfortable clothes and went to bed. Closing your eyes, you can't stop smiling at the thought of giving someone else a chance, it felt weird and exciting. Maybe things aren't so bad after all.

________________________

“Who was that brother?” Aguila asked, observing Winters closing his flip phone.

“That, my brother, is an important guest who will help us fulfill our birthrights.” Winters grins at his brother.

Hopefully she's the answer.

//////////////////////////////////////

 Any thoughts? Love it? Feeling it?

↪ Next Chapter

MASTERLIST

[jaxsteamblog]

Tradition

Click here to read the full fic on AO3

Zuko was distracted on their video call. Katara let her words trail and it would take a few moments for him to respond. After watching him for a moment, Katara finally reclined on her couch.

“So, what’s new with you?” She asked. That got his attention and Zuko looked at her nervously.

“Katara, we’ve been dating a few months now.” He said, but didn’t seem to pick up the thread after trailing off.

“Yes?” Katara prompted.

“I don’t want to rush things.” Zuko said, as if that were a complete thought.

“But?”

“But certain people are asking about the long term.”

“Zuko.” Katara sighed and Zuko’s camera jostled as he sat up.

“I know, I know. Like I said, I don’t want to rush things. I just want you to know that people are asking questions and I’m answering them the best I can.” He said.

“That’s ominous as all get out Zuko.” Katara replied dryly.

“I just don’t want you to be surprised by the news or anything.” He replied easily.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing! Well,” Zuko looked strangled as he formed the words. “Azula and I are fighting. Or maybe my father is fighting me through Azula. Either way, we’re going to be in the news.”

“Is everything okay?” Katara asked.

“It’ll be fine.” Zuko replied. “I promise.”

It was not the news that told her.

Rohan landed their sky bison Dawa in the middle of the courtyard as Katara was going through her exercises. The large animal slid on the ice and bumped into the wall with a low groan. When they jumped off, Rohan pressed themself into Dawa’s massive head, bury their face in her fur.

“My poor baby. Did that hurt?” They cooed and Dawa lowed gently.

“Rohan? What are you doing here?” Katara asked as she approached. Still keeping their body pressed against Dawa’s head, Rohan turned their face. They were still mostly obscured by the long fur, but an attempt was made.

“Pop was thinking you and I should go to the Fire Nation.” They said.

“Arnook doesn’t want me leaving the palace. I still have a lot of learning to do.” Katara replied.

“Yes well, Azula challenged Zuko to an Agni Kai.” Rohan said.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU LEAD WITH THAT?” Katara yelled. Panicked, Rohan flipped around and Dawa growled at Katara.

“I DON’T REALLY KNOW.” They yelled back.

“WHY ARE WE WAITING?”

Katara pushed herself up with the ice and Rohan leaped onto the saddle.

“Yip, yip Dawa!” They said and Katara barely had time to brace herself.

The sudden force of air knocked her back, but after Dawa levelled out her flying, Katara was able to move. She crawled on her hands and knees toward Dawa’s head where Rohan sat with the reins.

“You need to explain to me what’s happening.” Katara said. Rohan turned, idly flicking the reins in their lap.

“Azula has stated that by continuing to pursue a relationship with you, Zuko has dishonored their family and should have no right to the throne. She’s challenged him to an Agni Kai for inheritance.” They answered.

“And he accepted?”

“He had no choice. His father wasn’t going to stop it; it’s kinda the end all, be all of decision making. And you know,” Rohan fidgeted as they spoke. “He had accepted the Agni Kai where his father burned him.”

“WHAT?” Katara gripped the edge of the saddle and felt the pressure against her palms.

“Like I said, it’s how they do things in the Fire Nation. Zuko didn’t really have a choice.” Rohan replied.

Katara sat back and stared off into the sky. Agni Kais were rare, but all of them were broadcast. They had been outlawed in the United Republic, and among any Fire Nation citizen in other kingdoms. The dangerous taboo created a massive allure and young Firebenders in the Fire Nation would routinely call for one, knowing that it would be televised. It was definitely their chance to make a mark on the world.

If Katara really wanted, she assumed she could find a recording of Zuko’s initial Agni Kai. Where his own father pressed his hand to his son’s face, in public, and marred him.

This one would be just as public. And against his sister.

Katara tried to think of the last time she had fought with Sokka. It was over the summer, when they had planned to eat dinner together and they disagreed over acceptable pizza toppings. She had thrown a loaf of bread at him. They weren’t even having pizza.

“So what can we do?” Katara asked.

“Thuy is already there with Pop trying to de escalate, except that neither Azula nor Ozai are actually, you know, emotional about it.” Rohan said.

“They’ve been looking for a reason.” Katara murmured.

“Probably.”

“You don’t think she’d kill him, do you?”

“It’s not illegal.” Rohan answered, answering her question as gently as they could.

“We have to stop this.” Katara stated.

“We literally cannot.”

“Then why did you bring me?”

“Just in case.”

Feeling sick to her stomach, Katara rolled on her tailbone until her back was against the edge of the saddle. Her arms fell along the edge as well, making her look like a boxer on the ropes. She felt like she had been sucker punched.

It took two days of flying to get there. Dawa pushed through as if sensing her riders’ desperation. Rohan showed Katara how to fly and they took shifts as they crossed the unending ocean. From a hastily packed bag, Rohan pulled out various foodstuffs and their eating times were the only moments they had together. They tried to think of a plan but had nothing, and fear gnawed at the underside of Katara’s heart.

When they landed, both Katara and Rohan leaped down. Katara pulled water from the grass on the ground to brace herself and Rohan’s wind ball gently shrank while propelling them forward. There were guards, because of course there were, but Rohan’s gusts snuffed out the pit of their fires while Katara swept them aside.

“The arena is over here.” Rohan yelled and Katara followed them closely. In front of them was also a large reservoir of water. It would make sense, in case the firebending got out of control. And it made things easier for Katara.

“There!” She exclaimed and found soldiers waiting for them. Rohan made a noise in irritation before spinning into an aerial kick, blowing them away with a gale. They floated down with a huff and Katara sped up to match their stride.

“They’re lucky I took a vow of non-violence.” Rohan muttered as they continued on.

“You’re lucky that I did not.” Katara said and Rohan briefly smiled at her.

They crashed into the doors and immediately struck bodies. There was a crowd gathered to watch the spectacle and Katara fumed. Rohan took a deep breath and blew out; a whirlwind burst out of his mouth and people were shoved away from them. It was just enough of a gap to see the raised platform where Zuko knelt, a cloth over his shoulders. Katara and Rohan bolted forward just as he stood, the cloth falling away.

And a burst of blue fire surged toward him.

Katara screamed even as Zuko turned out of the way, moving the blue fire around his body and changing it into the orange she recognized.

The fire was loud, which surprised her. It was also hot, which made her wary to get closer. Still, she stepped forward and Rohan put their hand on her shoulder.

“We can’t now.” They said. Katara, pained, looked at them before turning back to the platform. Zuko moved like a waterbender, sliding his feet as he pulled Azula’s attacks around himself before pushing it back at her. When he did get defensive, he spun with his feet arcing over his head, like an Airbender. And when the attacks were too large, Zuko took a deep stance and broke the line of fire, much like an Earthbender.

“What is he doing?” Katara asked.

“Tiring her out. Zuko’s hung out with us for so long, he’s picked up so many different styles, Azula can’t get past them.” Rohan replied. “Once she’s exhausted, he’ll knock her down and he’ll win.”

They smiled, looking relaxed, but Katara frowned.

“That seems very anticlimactic.” She said.

“But it’s a good thing.” Rohan retorted and she shook her head.

“Except Zuko said his father is dramatic.” Katara said before looking back Zuko. “Do you think it’ll be that easy?”

It wasn’t.

As soon as Azula went down - having been slow to react to a curve ball of fire and so Zuko swept her legs out from under her - Zuko immediately stood at attention.

Azula got up on a knee and started to laugh.

“You have brought dishonor yet again onto our family, prince Zuko.” Ozai’s menacing voice came from the far end of the raised walk. “You have fought with your sister in front of the entire world.”

“But he-” Katara started but Rohan grabbed her arm, shushing her.

Zuko put his fist to his hand and bowed deeply.

“I meant no disrespect.” He said, his voice hollow but still ringing in Katara’s ears.

Ozai stepped from the shadows; shirtless, as was required by the Agni Kai.

“So it’s time for a rematch?” He asked.

Zuko stood upright for a moment before sliding into a waiting stance. This marked a choice, not a reaction. He knew what he was getting into.

“Trust me,” Zuko said darkly. “It won’t be much of a rematch.”

Ozai’s burst exploded, making the air around the audience pop. That scattered most of them as the bending bordered on combustion; a trained combustion bender could control it, but Ozai did not focus on that form.

Zuko didn’t waste his time tiring out Ozai, mostly because his fight with Azula had already weakened his own stamina.

Looking around, Katara was finally able to see the people she was hoping for as the crowd fled. Tenzin, Iroh, and Thuy stood yelling at each other just a few feet away.

“Thuy!” Katara screamed and started to run. The Avatar turned and Tenzin preemptively held her back. When Rohan and Katara made it to the group, Katara was seething.

“Why haven’t you stopped this?” She damned, looking at Iroh and Tenzin.

“Our hands are tied here.” Tenzin started.

“All of this is perfectly legal.” Iroh added.

“But it’s not right!” Katara yelled.

“Watch out!” Thuy pushed Katara back and pulled up a rock wall as fire spilled off the platform.

“I’m going up there.” Katara stated.

“You are the queen of another country, you cannot interfere!” Tenzin said.

“Yeah, well, I’m the Avatar and it looks to me like the sovereign of the Fire Nation is terrorizing his heir, which I’m pretty sure can lead to some serious political consequences so I’m gonna have to overrule you here.” Thuy retorted forcefully.

“Look!” Rohan called out. Everyone turned and saw Zuko push Ozai back, now very clearly mimicking Waterbender styles. As Ozai shielded himself, the flames dissipated and Azula jumped up next to her father.

“That certainly isn’t legal.” Iroh said.

“Let’s go!” Thuy grabbed Katara’s hand and rocketed themselves upward on a protrusion of rock.

“There’s water under the grates.” Katara said just before they hit the platform. Thuy grabbed from the right side while Katara pulled water from the left. Bringing their wavering columns together, they clashed on the eruptions of fire heading toward Zuko.

Things worsened when the soldiers made it into the arena.

Iroh, finding himself yet again on the enemy lines, fought defensively. And as both Tenzin and Rohan had taken vows of non-violence, they were quickly occupied with keeping themselves safe while also not allowing anyone else to join the fight on the platform.

For the ones above, their fight was nothing less than brutal. Azula and Ozai went with sheer power, attempting to push someone off the platform. The fall would easily be enough to break a leg, making escape impossible. So Katara and Thuy pulled on more limbs of water, catching themselves when they got too close to the edge.

Thuy had no formal firebending training, but instinctively she was able to disperse indirect attacks.

But as Zuko got hit with a fireball, Thuy lost it. She pulled too hard on the water, bringing Zuko up but nearly taking Katara off in the process.

“Just. Stay. Put.” Thuy seethed through gritted teeth. Right before her eyes started to glow.

Katara had never seen Thuy in the Avatar state, and it terrified her a bit. Air swirled up around her, tossing her hair up that made her look like she was drowning. Large slabs of rock were ripped from the ground and circled her like an armor plated atom. Fire jumped between the slabs, creating a protective net, while water fell upward to coat the entire platform.

“We are sick of you and your forefathers treating everyone like filth.” A booming voice that was not Thuy’s said. “Your heir has atoned and we will bestow our favor on him.”

Ozai laughed. He laughed right in the face of the Avatar.

“You are a coward. You all were cowards! You can’t strike me down because of the balance!” He shouted.

The elements parted around Thuy, but something cloaked her. She was taller, wearing robes, and with a large headdress.

“I can assure you,” A clearer voice, but still not Thuy’s, rang out. “I was no coward when I killed my master.”

Avatar Kyoshi swept her hand and a large rock ripped itself free of the arena and slammed into Ozai, knocking him clear into the other wall.

The shroud changed again and Katara gasped at the sight of the blue parka. Water slammed into the place where Ozai had landed, just as the rock exploded. Avatar Kuruk ran on the water bridge he created and created a fist of ice.

“Don’t forget about me.” A lilting voice sang out. Blue fire shot toward Katara as she turned. Pulling up a sheet of ice, Katara took a moment to admire the shimmering explosion of blue that rippled behind it. Then, stepping forward, she shoved the wall at Azula. As Azula broke it, Zuko had spun through a series of sets. Azula charged them then, splitting them cleanly down the middle with a wall all her own.

Azula was good at keeping them apart, putting Katara on the defensive while forcing Zuko to choose between pushing an attack or trying to deflect spill over from harming Katara. They would dart at each other, only to have Azula fall back while attacking Katara.

The fight had barely gone on for ten minutes, but that was longer than any other duel. Zuko and Azula were both visibly panting, and they both swayed in their stances. Off to one side of the arena, the Avatar was beating the Fire Lord into the ground while the other side saw the trio slowly losing their footing.

Suddenly grinning, Azula stood up and took a different stance.

“Azula.” Zuko called out as a warning.

“Dear brother, this ends now.” She said. The electricity arced between her fingers and Katara froze.

She knew what happened when electricity met water. Unsure of what to do or how to help, she looked at Zuko.

“I can handle you Azula. For as long as it takes.” Zuko shouted, getting his voice over the snarling sound of lightning growing around Azula.

“Is that so?” Azula remarked casually.

Zuko stood, his body tilted and grounded.

And Azula turned to face a new direction.

Katara could see her gold eyes glint but she didn’t hear Zuko yell.

She saw the lightning and she saw Zuko. And she saw Zuko’s body. He was just a few feet from her, she could reach him.

Steam erupted as Azula shot fire in front of her.

“Oh no you do-” Azula began but cut off as the steam curled and shot up like a spear. Katara pulled more and more water, levitating ice shards all around her and sending them hurtling toward Azula. The water moved like a wave over the platform and while Azula twisted to dodge one of the ice spears, her ankle rolled and she fell to her knees. The water froze, adhering her to the platform. To keep her from bending, Katara pulled more water up and created an inverted bubble around them.

Then she froze it.

Bending was an art. Some benders were born with inherent strength while others could improve through rigorous training, and still others were stuck with low ability no matter what. But it was all dependent upon the benders chi, or spirit, or metaphysical energy. Whatever they called it, it was an energetic field that they could manipulate. Most of the time, benders had to move in order to control their element as they could never achieve true mastery of their chi.

Some monks among the Air Nomads were rumored to have achieved it and would float without the need for food or water.

Katara felt the frozen rage down to her core and the water around her obliged. She breathed, and the ice melted to let her pass.

Moving through the ice, Katara picked up the cloth Zuko had worn at the beginning of the Agni Kai. With it, she bound Azula’s hands, then refroze them. At least this way it would take longer for her to get frostbite.

Melting the ice block, Katara kept Azula pinned to the ground and her hands encased in ice.

Then she ran to Zuko.

Turning him onto his back, Katara knelt down to listen for a heartbeat. Not finding one, she immediately started CPR. As she counted, she used her bending to move the blood through his veins.

“I could use a little zap here!” She paused to yell. Focusing on her compressions, she had no idea how long it took Iroh to get up to them. When he did, she sat back and watched as Zuko was electrocuted again.

Gasping, Zuko rolled onto his side and Katara fell on him, crying.

“I have to heal you!” She sobbed. “I have to.”

Her hands glowed as the water came to them and she ran it over his chest. She had cracked his sternum during CPR and had to concentrate on pulling the fracture together. Her chi went into him, sewing the bone together. She healed his veins and the damage done to his heart. But the scar would not go. Dark veins bled out from the strike, but at least they were working.

“Zuko.” Katara said as she fell on top of him. “Why?”

“Tradition.” Zuko said weakly. “I wasn’t allowed to say no.”

“Get rid of it.” She murmured, burying her face in his chest.

“As soon as the crown touches my head beloved.” He brought his head up and kissed the top of her head.

“Yeah but seriously, someone needs to check to see if the Fire Lord is dead.” Rohan said from above them. “Because Thuy went all out on him.”

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[crashdevlin]

Crashing 2- Sensitive Compartmentalized

Crashing Masterlist

Author’s Note: Originally posted to ao3 (This is an edited and improved version) Part Four of the Red Queen Chronicles!

Summary: Everyone wants to throw blame around about Cassie’s new personality, but does the blame really matter when she’s taken her birthright as head of Hydra?

Word Count: 4070

Pairing(s): Clint Barton x OFC, past Loki x OFC, past Bucky Barnes x OFC, past Steve Rogers x OFC

Chapter Warnings: mentions of brainwashing, mentions of murder, violence and anger

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cassie kicked in the door to the bar and looked around the dusty room. “Tell me there’s a SCIF in this dump.”

A short man with short salt and pepper hair approached her. “A what?”

She rolled her eyes. “A SCIF. Sensitive Compartmentalized Information Facility?” She groaned, adjusting the sheet of metal over her thigh. “A room with radiant foil in the walls that shuts out transmissions and WiFi and hackables.”

“Who the hell-” the man snapped as he started to grab her, but she grabbed the back of his head and bounced it against the bar.

“Heil Hydra,” she said, turning to the others. She pointed to one toward the back. “You. You dress like SHIELD. Were you?”

“Yes...uh, ma’am?”

“John Garrett, Grant Ward; these names ringing your bells?” she asked, wincing as she adjusted her grip.

“Yes, ma’am. Garrett recruited me to Hydra.”

“Were you with them when they took the Fridge?” she asked, smiling when he nodded. “They spent an hour, probably closer to forty minutes, looking for someone. You ever get a description of who?”

“Short, blond, green eyes...oh, my God, you’re her!”

“Awesome, no introduction necessary. SCIF?” she requested again. The young man nodded and rushed for a door labeled ‘Storage’. Cassie followed him into the room and leaned against the table in the SCIF. “Okay, what’s your name, man?”

“Derek Shipton,” he answered.

“I’m Cassie, Derek. Now, I need you to get me some needle-nosed pliers and some liquor. I have to cut a tracker out of this thigh, so I need you to get me a foil-lined metal box to put it in.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said before rushing out. He came back almost immediately with her supplies.

“Thank you. Oh, and Derek? I need you to look up my file and give it to the guy who used to be in charge. He kinda needs to know why he’s not in charge anymore. Projekt Kind is the file. Once I deactivate the SCIF, bring in the guy I just demoted, okay? Thanks, Derek.” Cassie smiled as the man rushed out and she locked the SCIF down.

Cassie stripped her jeans down her legs and grabbed the knife she stole from Clint. The wound had already begun to heal itself, the flesh making its efforts to grow closed over the foreign object. She took a deep breath, grinding her teeth as she dug the knife deep into each side of the wound to reopen it and grabbed the pliers. The tracker had a little blue light that blinked a slow, consistent blink. She dropped it into the box Derek brought her and slammed the lid. As she pulled up her jeans over the already-clotting wound, she unlocked the door to the SCIF, prompting Derek to run in with a tall blond man with a beard following him.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” the blond man snapped.

She sighed and looked up at him. “Derek didn’t show you my file?” she asked, boredly.

“He wouldn’t even look at it, ma’am.”

“Hm, shame,” Cassie said, standing on a chair to give her the height to wrap her hand around the bearded man’s throat and lift him up off the floor. “I was hoping to do this without much blood. I mean, I know that death and destruction, that’s the Hydra way, but I wanted to keep as much of our ranks intact as possible. We’ve been dwindling a bit. SHIELD, Captain America, the Avengers, even Ultron took out some of our high-level heads and there just aren’t two for every one anymore. I want as many of you to stick around as possible...but that doesn’t mean I’m against killing you for disrespecting me.”

She dropped the man to his feet but kept her hand wrapped firmly around his throat. “If you’d bothered to open that file, you’d know why Herr Whitehall wanted me. You’d see that I am the second daughter of Johann Schmidt.” The man’s eyes widened slightly. “You’d see that I was bred to lead and taught to kill at an early, early age. You’d see my trained proficiency with all manner of weapons and my specifically engineered IQ. Now, the only thing you wouldn’t see is the genetic fiddling that happened a few years ago that made me just...like...Daddy.”

She chuckled. “Minus the complexion issues, of course.” She licked her lips. “You will follow me...or you will die. I will tear you to pieces, just as an example and don’t...not for one second, think you can get the better of me. Do you understand?” The man was silent, looking at her in fear. “Verstehst du?”

“Yes. Yes, I understand,” he whispered.

She smiled and jumped down off the chair, letting go of his neck. “Great! I’m Cassie Campbell. You are?”

“Karl...Kraus,” he whispered, his hand going to rub at his throat.

“Awesome. Now, full disclosure, just in case it comes up...I was hanging with the Avengers for a while. I was confused, there were some identity issues...trying to be a good guy but I got over that. I’m ready to do what needs to be done now, in order to usher in the next great age and I hope you’re with me on that.”

Karl looked from Cassie to Derek, who just stared at his feet. “You’re...you’re the Red Queen. From the Battle in Sokovia.”

“Yeah. It’s not important. I’m done with them. The Avengers are the past. Hydra is the future. What do you say, Karl Kraus? You wanna help me?”

“Do I actually have a choice?” Karl asked.

“Well, you were very dismissive when I first got here, Karl, but I will still give you a bit of a choice.” She pulled open the door and walked out of the SCIF. “You can choose to stick around and support me, or you could choose death.”

Derek followed close behind her and Kraus sighed loudly as he stayed behind. “Not much of a choice.”

Cassie walked over to the bar and grabbed the first bottle that caught her attention, twisting the cap off and gulping down what turned out to be dark rum before turning to the Hydra agents. “My name is Cassie Campbell. I am the daughter of Johann Schmidt and I am going to be your new...leader. Your new queen,” she said with a smile. “I doubt any of you have met my sister Sinthea. I mean, I haven’t either, but you’ve heard the stories about her and our father but you don’t have to worry because I’m not like her.” 

She sighed and shook her head. “But I have no time for questions or bitching. You will follow orders or you’ll get cut loose. You do what you’re told, I won’t kill you. It’s that simple. I will, of course, need files on everyone. Your names, numbers, ranks, blah blah blah. Shipton and Kraus will be in charge of that. When I’ve found a place to bunk down, I’ll be back. If you don’t support me, then leave quietly while I’m gone. There’ll be no retaliation for the lack of faith.” She nodded at Derek before walking out, bottle in hand, as the Hydra agents in the bar started to whisper amongst themselves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean, you were too late? Romanoff couldn’t stall her?” Fury’s voice could be heard throughout the farmhouse dining room, even though Coulson’s phone wasn’t on speaker. The house was full of sad, silent, seething people who couldn’t decide who they were angry at.

“An arrow to the leg couldn’t stall her, Nick,” Steve said, arms crossed over his chest as he stared at his feet. “She was determined not to have her memories wiped again.”

“Put me on goddamn speaker.” Phil fiddled with the buttons on his phone. “She what?” Fury snapped.

“She knew you were going to wipe her memories so she ran to avoid going through that again. Hydra wiped her several times and then SHIELD did, too,” Bucky spoke up. He pushed his hair out of his face with the new prosthetic Cassie provided him when she woke him up. He looked around the room at the others. “Knowing that there are pieces of your memories, pieces of you, missing that you can’t even identify...that’s so much worse than knowing what Hydra made us into.”

Clint growled deep in his chest, finally deciding who he was angry with. “This is your fault!” he shouted, glaring at Bucky.

“Excuse me?” Bucky asked. “I wasn’t even here when-”

“Barton, calm down,” Steve said, stepping protectively in front of his best friend as Clint jumped to his feet.

“No! We were fine!” Clint fought the urge to clench his left fist as his right hand went to the empty holster for his knife. “We were happy and we were gonna be married until you came in with your ‘kindred spirits’ hunky emo guyliner bullshit! She would be in this mess if you hadn’t convinced her to freeze herself so that Loki could grab her. She hadn’t had any issues with him in months! He was leaving her alone but you served her up on a silver fuckin’ platter and how could he resist?!”

“He never stopped watching her. He was trying to endear himself to her by helping her, but you wouldn’t know that, would you?” Bucky asked, standing. He pushed Steve a bit as he leaned closer to the archer. “You’re just her ex-fiance and that’s because you were such a self-absorbed crumb that you couldn’t even tell when her insomnia got to her. You couldn’t tell when her nightmares took over.”

“I knew she was remembering, Barnes! You think I’m an idiot?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” Bucky responded, calmly. “I think you’re worse than that. I think you act like an idiot to disguise the fact that you’re an asshole. I didn’t convince her to go into cryo, you did...because she knew that you would treat her different if you knew she was a killer. Something about you looking at me like I’m a rabid dog and her not being able to deal with you looking at her the same way. She just knew you wouldn’t love her if you knew she was a monster. So it’s not my fault, Barton, it’s yours.”

Clint’s eyes went wide. “She’d already sent you to kill Steve! She was beyon-”

“Shut the hell up!” Fury yelled, pulling the men’s attention from their fight. “This is not Sergeant Barnes’ fault and it’s not Barton’s either. This is my fault. I should have grabbed her when she was in Africa, wiped her before she ever made it to the Wakandan Border.”

Bucky’s jaw tensed. “Wiping her is what caused this whole-”

“I appreciate your input, Sergeant, but wiping her would have ended this just as much as it started it,” Fury interrupted.

“She would have known that something was wrong. She’s known something was wrong the whole time,” Steve spat toward the phone.

“A temporary solution is still a damn solution, Rogers.”

“Whatever. What are we going to do about her now?” Natasha asked, moving from standing next to Clint to be closer to Coulson’s phone. “She’s decided she’s Hydra. We can’t wipe her without getting rid of everything that made her Red Queen.”

“We could add new memories...similar memories,” Phil responded.

Steve looked around the room at everyone. “So, what, we’re just going to find her and erase her again?”

“Is that not better than letting her try to kill everyone she cares about?” Wanda finally spoke up.

“Maybe she’ll leave everybody alone if we leave her alone. Let her live her homicidal dreams with the Nazis.” No one could really tell if Barney was joking.

“Was that your brother, Barton?” Fury asked.

“Yeah. I live here,” Barney defended.

“He kinda lives here,” Clint corrected. “He’s the one that shot her, since…I am not gonna be shooting anything any time soon.” He looked down at his hand.

“You could always pick up a gun again and shoot righty,” Nat suggested.

“I don’t want to pick up a gun! Not if we’re going after her.”

“Okay, I’m gonna have to be the one to say it,” Sam said, looking upset to be in that position as ‘the one to say it’. “She was more than willing to kill all of us. She sent Barnes to attack Steve. He’d be dead if I hadn’t pulled distraction.” He gestured at Clint. “She was gonna do a lot worse than a broken hand to Clint. She’s taken up with her father’s Nazi friends and I, for one, can’t back rehabilitation for a Nazi. She’s not our Red Queen anymore. She’s gone so far darkside that even Loki thought it was a good idea to give her some space. The school-approved solution for evil is not wiping memories. School-approved solution’s exactly what Steve did to her dad.”

“We can’t kill her!” Clint and Steve exclaimed at the same time.

“Then capture and incarcerate,” Natasha suggested. “Put the Raft to the use it was actually made for.”

“Has anyone called Stark?” Steve asked, suddenly. “He’s going to need to know. Rhodes, Vision, they’re all in danger.”

“I already made that call. It wasn’t pleasant,” Fury answered. “Of course, now I need to update him that she escaped. I am not happy to be making that call either.”

“Let us know what Stark says,” Steve demanded before walking out of the farmhouse. Bucky followed close behind. “This is our fault, Buck. We should have had Nick Fury come get her after she killed that warlord in Africa.”

“That’s not our fault. She didn’t want to go with him. You know that. She wanted to be with us.”

“Did she?” Steve snapped. “Or did we just want her with us? What if we just wanted her and she remembered, got taken by Loki and remember all this horrible stuff, because we wanted her?”

Bucky shook his head. “She got out of the Raft and she could’ve gone home but she didn’t. She took Loki’s help to come find us in Egypt. She wanted to be with us and we did the right thing taking her to Wakanda. She shouldn’t have gone on ice, but when we did it, it seemed like the best option. We didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

Steve scoffed. “And now she wants to kill us and take over the world. She was such a good woman when she went in.”

“She still is,” Bucky argued.

“After what she’s done, you can’t say that.”

“I can. I believe she still is. I mean, look at me,” Bucky said.

Steve sighed. “It’s different. You were brainwashed. She’s not. She’s the opposite of that. She’s had all her brainwashing taken away. She’s who she was supposed to be now.”

“No. Who she’s supposed to be is the same woman who dropped everything to come help us in Germany and who trekked through Africa with us. That’s who she’s supposed to be, and she can be again.”

“I hope you’re right, Buck.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony walked into his penthouse of Stark Tower and headed for the bar. “Lights.” He looked perplexed as he stayed in the dark. “Friday, lights.”

“Hope you don’t mind, boss,” a voice from the closest sofa made him turn, instantly alert. “Thought we might be better off just the two of us so I told Friday to take a nap.”

The sight of the blond woman sitting with her back to him, a drink in her hand, shouldn’t have made him so nervous, but it did. “My suit?” he asked. He had ways to call the suit, even without Friday, but it would be more than a little difficult. 

“These bracelets look so much better on me, don’t you think?” She raised the hand that wasn’t holding a good crystal tumbler of his best scotch to show off the remote to summon his suit. “Come have a seat, Stark,” she commanded.

“You don’t need my suit to kill me, Cassie,” Tony said, not budging from his spot behind her.

“I’m not here to kill you, boss. I came to you because you’re the only one I knew would actually talk to me...without any of the bullshit about trying to send me to Fury. Come have a seat, please.” Her tone was desperate but not angry, so Tony walked down and sat on the sofa across from her.

“You look like crap,” Tony said, candidly, as he looked over her. She was paler than normal, her eyes ringed with dark circles.

She let out a scoffing chuckle. “I feel...like I’ve been put through a blender. All of this...got so out of hand. I remember now. Those words they put in my head, they were just to make me remember.” She leaned forward slightly. “See, Strucker wiped me when SHIELD showed up so I’d be able to deny everything if SHIELD asked. I’d be able to pretend to be normal because I wouldn’t know that I wasn’t. I guess Wolfgang forgot the part where he comes and gets me back from Fury...or maybe I was supposed to stay at the Fridge until they revealed themselves and killed SHIELD, I don’t know.”

“Remembering your shitty childhood made you evil? Pretty sure every Avenger on the roster has that box checked and Vision never had a childhood.”

“I didn’t want this,” she whispered, looking away and taking a drink. “I didn’t send Bucky to kill Steve. He’ll remember that once someone actually asks him what his mission was. I just needed Bucky out of stasis because Loki has the red book and I couldn’t risk Loki using Bucky against us. I sent him to the new base because I knew Steve wouldn’t let anything happen to Bucky and he’d be safe with the one man who would move Heaven and Earth to keep him that way.” 

She ran her hand across her mouth and leaned forward more. “I was going to try to ease into telling Clint the truth...what I remembered I did in the past, the changes that happened when I remembered, but...I said one word, one thing that wasn’t what Clint thought his woman should say, and he attacked me.” She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment before shaking her head. “I had to make a split-second decision: grovel at his feet, apologize for the woman I am now, the woman I was always supposed to be...beg him to love me and tell him how much I want to change and be the woman he fell for…” She shrugged and leaned back into the back of the sofa.

“Or be the woman he decided I was in the moment before he hit me. I couldn’t bring myself to go the weak route, not after so many years doing just that, so I had to commit to the Hydra angle and for me to do that, you all have to either leave me the hell alone or die.”

Tony’s eyebrows shot up. “You aren’t even gonna give the rest of us a chance to get to know the new you?”

“If Clint, who swears he loves me, can’t deal with the new me then why should I expect the rest of you to be okay with me?”

“Cass...people change. We can get to know the person you are now if you let us,” he offered.

“The man supposedly blinded by love couldn’t deal, Tony,” she exclaimed softly. “I’m too different. I’m colder, angrier, more prone to violence. I like violence, and the smell of gunpowder the-the snap of broken bones. I am so not the Cassie you know.”

“Okay, so there’s a little more Red Skull in your Red Queen,” Tony said, leaning forward to grab a tablet from the table between them. “But you don’t wanna kill us, Skipper.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Of course I don’t. You’re the only family I have.” She licked her lips and shook her head in exasperation. “But if it comes down to a question of me killing all of you or me being sent back to Fury for him to wipe me clean and become the person he and Clint think I should be...I will shed a tear for each of you and then I will move the fuck on with my life.”

“I know you, Cassie. You’re one of the few people in this world that I’ve taken the time to actually, you know, know. Just because you’re a little angrier than you used to be doesn’t mean you need to go Dark Side. You can be Anakin without being Vader.”

Cassie smiled and looked into his eyes. “You think any of them will wanna talk to me now? With the woman I am now? I broke Clint’s hand and I enjoyed it. I sent Winter Soldier after Steve. I am the embodiment of everything Hydra wanted of me.”

“Not true,” he disputed. “You aren’t a Nazi. You’re just a little different. You could come back, be an Avenger. It’s really just me, Rhodey, and Vision right now, the Spider kid is a ‘sometimes’. We can get used to you.”

She looked conflicted as she took another drink. “I’ve already taken over Hydra, Tony. I’m fine to go all the way on this. I can even turn Hydra into a respectable organization, maybe even better than SHIELD. No secrets in my organization.”

“No, you can’t. Even the Avengers aren’t better than SHIELD,” Tony said, tapping on the tablet. “We’ve all got our secrets. We’ve all got our issues. Don’t write us off. Write off Barton, I don’t give a fuck, but don’t write me off. I don’t care if you have a rage issue. I mean, look how close I was with Banner.”

She sighed and leaned forward to set the glass on the table. “You really don’t care? You don’t care that Strucker had me brutally murder two SHIELD agents before my age was even in the double digits, or that I crushed an African warlord’s hyoid bone? You don’t care that I broke Barton’s hand and I relished the sound of his bones crushing under my foot?”

“I can get behind that, all of it. As long as you’re crushing the bones of the bad guys. I mean, you signed the Accords. You belong to the UN. As long as you’re breaking the bones of the guys they send us after, I don’t mind it. Look, this might not be you anymore…” Tony held up the tablet to show a picture of Cassie smiling with all of the lab techs in the Olympia lab. “...but I think you could still be this.” He swiped the screen to show a screen capture of footage from the battle of Sokovia. She was beating an Ultron into the ground next to the core, her fists through it’s metal face. “Red Queen was a little more violent than Cassie Campbell, but you always seemed more free when you were in the field. I liked that. Com’on, Red. You don’t have to be Hydra to be yourself.”

Cassie stared at the picture for a long few moments before she stood. “I’ll think about it...if you can guarantee me that I will not be erased again. Hydra wiped me, SHIELD wiped me. I just wanna be me. If you want me to trust you, Stark...and I desperately want to be able to trust you...I need assurances that I will not be wiped by the people who are supposed to be my friends.”

He stood as well, putting down the table and picking up what was left of the glass of scotch. “I won’t let anyone change you, Red. Never again.”

The corner of her mouth lifted in a slight smile. “Should’ve come to you first. I was just really hoping Clint would give me the time.”

“That’s what you get for letting your heart guide you,” he chastised.

“Oh? And what exactly is guiding you to be so supportive of me, boss?”

“Ah, that’s all in my beautiful brain, Lab Rat.” Tony swallowed down the last bit of liquor as Cassie walked toward the elevator. “You’ll let me know what you decide?”

“I’ve got your number.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth​ @flamencodiva​ @wasabiwitteks​ @rainbowkisses31​ @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661​ @officiallyunofficialperson​ @dolphincliffs​ @mrs-meghan-winchester​ @gayspacenerd​ @foxyjwls007​ @ilovefanfic86​ @marvelfansworld​ @f-yeahfandoms​ @wonderlandfandomkingdom​ @hhiggs​ @sev3nruby​  @hobby27​ @paintballkid711​ @divadinag​ @thewhiterabbit42​ @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @superfanficnatural​ @letsby​ @supernatural-bellawinchester​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @swinchester27​ @chalicia​ @sunnyroadtrips​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @dayasvalkyrie​ Hero Tags - @atc74​ @winchesterxfamilybusiness​ @holylulusworld​

[randombtsprincessa]

BADLANDS || 1

All Rights Reserved.

Author: Randombtsprincessa

Characters: Jung Hoseok x Reader (1st POV)

Summary: You are keen on the Golden Boy, Park Jimin but nowhere getting his attention. A late night decision to win him over leads you straight to Jung Hoseok - opposite of gold and rival to Jimin. On your quest to land the prince, you learn that not everything that is gold, glitters.

Warning: Some social drinking and maybe decisions that are kinda wack lol. 

A/N: Who knew Jimin would wiggle his way into this? Not me, nope, I certainly was the most surprised.

Everyone has crushes on someone at least once at a point in their lives. Sometimes, it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it is just an infatuation that passes in a week or month or so and sometimes it is squashed down till the person moves on.

And sometimes, there is a person who develops a crush on the most impossible person in their vicinity. Don’t misunderstand, a lot of the crushes can be formed on impossible people usually but me…I had hit the jackpot on being Impossible Crusher #1.

Like all crushing parties, I was staring; staring across a college ground which currently held the small fundraiser that would equip the fine arts department with some new musical instruments. I had enthusiastically and joyously written down my name for volunteering, eager to get my hands on a good composing system.

The fundraiser itself had been of a small musical competition, the money earned from the audience had proceeded towards the funding. In return for my contribution, I had been handed an invitation to attend the fundraiser party and now here I was, standing in one corner like a weirdo and staring like a creep.

I hoped the goods the money would buy were worth it, because the fine arts – especially music, in which I was a student – badly needed it. My friends had long since departed, sitting down at a picnic table while I continued to stare.

At one point I think I may have been poked, but everything else hopelessly faded away when he was in line of my sight.

The ‘he’ in question was Park Jimin, golden boy of Seoul Arts College, star of the fine arts department and an overall fantastic person. He was an all rounder that had taken our college by storm ever since he had stepped foot over in the institute.

I don’t remember the exact time that he had joined our fray but I did remember the moment when I had first started hoping that he would look at me and maybe see something more.

“Y/N, I want you to take these notes down to the dance department. These are our possible schedules and timings for practices and I want to know if they can fit their choreography practice in.” The head of your department; Shoji handed you a sheaf of paper that had scrawling all over it.

For the life of me, I did not understand how the dance captain was going to make heads or tails of it but I quietly obeyed, bundling the papers and taking the stairs down.

The dance department was spread completely onto one whole floor. All practice rooms were mirrored, glass walled and so bright you couldn’t miss a damn thing. It was used to show off the diligence and finesse of our dancers. Of course, very soon it would become cause to come and see Park Jimin in motion.

You knocked on the first dance room, the dance captain glancing up at you where he had been talking to two dancers. You had never had much time to talk to the heads of all the departments but it was mandatory to at least know them all by sight.

“Yes,” he called.

You held up the leaflets. “Shoji sent the timetables for the arts department. Can you take a look and let me know there are good?” I asked.

The captain nodded, holding out his hand. He didn’t take one step towards me. I rolled my eyes inwardly. For all the stamina in the world needed to be captain to the dance team of one of the finest institutes in the world, the captain sure was pretty lazy.

Nonetheless, I was the subordinate so I walked in, my own arms outstretched so the papers would reach him quicker. He gripped the bundle, rifling through them and passing a cursory gaze over it.

“They’re fine. I’m just going to add a few more time slots in so I can train up the new kid.” The captain nudged his chin towards the boy who was standing in front of him.

I looked at him just as he turned to give me a beam.

The force with which he hit me was unexpected and I nearly staggered back.

The boy was stunning – like honest to god, no lie, stunning.

Smooth blond hair mopped on top of his head, crescent eyes turned into a smile that was so endearing I was sure he could make anyone do anything for him just to be rewarded with that smile.

Safe to say, I was enchanted and I remained so – till this day.

“He is Park Jimin,” The captain introduced, paying no mind as he jotted down timings to the upheaval that was just caused to my social systems.

By the time I got home that evening, it was late, much later than I had anticipated. The fact that I had managed to find a roommate and a small apartment close to the university was a boon during times like these.

When I entered, sliding the key through the lock, the place was dark. My roommate was probably still at work or had gone out as well. I sighed, slipping out of the tight new shoes I had squeezed into. I made a note to loosen them a bit and placed them neatly on the shoe shelf, trudging in.

I flipped onto the couch, covering my eyes with my arms. I had to be up in about five hours to go back to classes and at this point, the age old debate whether my education was worth the sleep deprivation started again.

I groaned and precisely at that point, my roommate decided to stride in.

Kang Mina, on first sight was alarming. With a name that sounded deceptively sweet, she was the complete opposite of it.

I remembered the first time I’d seen her, the front door to our now shared apartment opening to see a girl my age with a shock of bubblegum hair, a thickly lined eye and chapped lips. She’d looked me up and down before letting me in and despite wondering if I should, I had obliged.

Mina had given me a brief run of the house and it all had seemed nice enough; Hot water, electricity, maintenance but easy access to campus and a safe neighborhood – even if it was small. It had struck a chord and with the way Mina talked, I didn’t think she was going to be too much of a problem.

We had been roommates for two college years and even though we weren’t the best of friends, at least she didn’t hate me.

“What’s wrong with you?” Those were the first words she spoke as she started shrugging off her heavy coat.

I removed my arms from my face, peering blearily at her.

Mina’s pink hair was long gone, now replaced with her natural black – almost too black – hair. She put it up in a bun, still watching me for an answer.

“Life,” I grumbled, turning on to my stomach.

Mina grunted; sounds of her quietly moving about before starting the TV echoing in the apartment. “How was the party?”

“As if you care; how was work? What time it is?” I rubbed my eyes.

“As if you care,” she shot right back. “It’s late, nearly one.” She looked at you. “Don’t you have class in the morning?”

“As do you, what’s your point?”

“I’m used to staying up all night. You’re not. That’s my point.” She didn’t look at me again, flicking through channels. It was silent for a bit, both of us watching the reruns of Tom and Jerry.

“Is this about that guy you like, Jimin?” She asked again.

I shrugged.

Mina gave me her raised eyebrows. “Look I don’t know much about crushes but from what I’ve gathered, moping about because of them isn’t considered healthy.” She said.

I groaned again.

“You’d be right. I stared at him all through the night and he never once even glanced in my direction. Aren’t people supposed to feel when they’re being stared at? He does not seem to have that thing going. No, he kept drinking and laughing about with his boys and then stupid Hyerin began to make eyes at him. All my friends left me, you know.”

I could feel waves of judgment rolling off of Mina now.

“So, you spent three hours at a party which you worked hard to contribute for, only to creepily watch a guy ignore you and got left alone by your own friends? Honey, you need a hobby…and may be new friends.” She firmly turned to face the TV.

“You’d leave me behind.” I pointed out.

“If you were embarrassing yourself; I wouldn’t just drop you because you were staring at some guy.” She muttered and I had to agree. No matter what Mina’s idiosyncrasies were, she was a very good friend.

“Right, I’m going to go crash now. Hopefully, I’ll wake up to go to my classes; I can’t afford to miss them.” You got to your feet, stretching as you made your way towards the hallway when she spoke again, stopping you in your steps.

“You need to get a boyfriend.”

I whirled around, looking at her in horror. “What?”

Mina didn’t look at you. “Get a boyfriend; it’s the easiest thing in the world and it is also a surefire way of making Park turn his head to you. Flaunt your man in front of him to show him what he’s missing.”

I gaped at her, finally making her turn to me. “What?” She asked, defiantly.

“Who are you, and what have you done to Kang Mina?” I teased. “How many of those rom-com movies have you watched?”

She rolled her eyes. “Not a lot, but that’s always the gist isn’t it? The girl wants a guy, guy doesn’t want her, she gets a new guy and guy miraculously wants her and all ends well. Maybe, not for the second guy,” she shrugged.

“Mina,” I returned to sit next to her. “I can’t just get a boyfriend. What will I do with him? I’m not…I can’t flaunt anything that I have no experience with.” I turned my head down.

There was a pause. “I can’t believe I’m saying this…and I’m very sure I’m going to get murdered for this but…I might have the guy for you.” She said slowly.

I raised my eyebrows. “You do?”

Mina nodded. “Yeah, he’s my friend. He’s in the dance department with Jimin as well. He’s also an underground rapper. It’s a real mix, I can tell you. But the dude is okay and I can vouch that he would love to make Park Jimin jealous.”

I bit my lip worriedly. “I don’t know Mina. Sounds far-fetched and…”

I looked down when my twitter notification went off, obviously from Jimin’s account.

It was a group photo; Seokjin, Taehyung and Jungkook sitting around Jimin…with Hyerin on his lap. I cursed.

“Can I talk to him first?”

Mina didn’t look much thrilled by the notion but shrugged anyway. “We can go see him tomorrow.”

Mina’s idea of ‘going to see her friend’ was to take me through to a narrow street with barely any space for two people to walk side by side. I followed her meekly as she led us to a more open space, a door being guarded by a heavyset man.

“Hey Anton,” she greeted, pushing back her hood then jerking her thumb back towards me. “I brought a newbie.”

Anton gave me a once over, grimacing a little at my plain grey shirt, jacket and jeans. Next to Mina’s glittering silver hoodie, and purple pants, I probably looked homeless, but I didn’t let it get to me too much. No matter his personal aversion to my style, however, Anton moved aside, swinging the door inwards.

“Thanks, Ant, have a good one.” Mina patted the broad man’s shoulder, barely touching the top of his arm and I ducked in beside her.

“Where are we?” I asked.

The inside was an explosion of dark lights. Red, white and black was strewn everywhere, flashing lights making it difficult to see anything at all and I very nearly grabbed Mina’s hand like a child to keep from getting lost.

“It’s an underground club. It’s where performance pieces are tried out on an audience.” Mina explained.

“Oh,” I mumbled.

Mina and I walked past the bodies occupying the center space, heading for the bar. My roommate seemed to be looking for someone, weaving through the crowds till she reached a particular man, wearing a huge jacket as he poured over a messy notebook.

The man looked up at our approach, shooting a smile at Mina immediately. “Hey,” they greeted each other with a hug while I hung behind.

The man had thick glasses on, sandy blond hair ruffled under his hood when he took it off. “Joon, this is Y/N, my roommate. This is Kim Namjoon, Y/N. He’s one of the best rappers here and he also goes to our campus.” Mina introduced.

Namjoon gave me a dimpled smile, putting out a hand for me to shake. I took it, looking back and forth between Mina and Namjoon, confused. “I haven’t ever seen him in our classes.” I said.

Namjoon chuckled, answering, “I’m rarely there actually. I go because I need the degree but I spend most of my time composing here.”

I nodded at his explanation. Mina glanced about. “Where’s the J-Hope?” She asked.

“He’s backstage already, it’s his set next.” Namjoon told her, binding his notebook.

“What’s a J-Hope?” I asked.

Mina gave me a sly smile. “He’s the one we’re here to see.” She said.

“His name is J-Hope?” I asked, incredulously. What was I supposed to do with that?

“No, it’s his stage name. It’s kind of an inner joke he has. Don’t worry about it.” Namjoon waved at the bartender. “If you guys are going to stay, you’ll need drinks.” Mina enthusiastically joined at that, leaving me to linger behind a bit.

Was I making the right choice here? What would happen if I did meet this J-Hope, whose real name I hadn’t still found out and he turned out to be some wacko? Namjoon seemed fine enough and Mina was alright, but was everyone in this place all over okay?

I didn’t hear Mina ask for my order when the next minute, lights fell, thrusting the room into near black with one spotlight aimed at the stage where the announcer stood.

“Next up…! You know who he is…yes, put your hands together for J-Hope!”

Cheers and applause broke out, screams ranging from farther back reaching my ears and I politely clapped as the lights came on again, much more flashier and erratic than before.

Beats started from somewhere, low but quickly picking pace. It was catchy, I had to admit with a beat drop I felt in my stomach and then the rapper emerged, his words already midway.

“That’s J-Hope, Jung Hoseok.” I started a little, feeling Mina appear at my elbow, drink in hand and eyes calmly examining the rapper’s performance.

“He composed the song?” I asked, feeling Mina nod.

I had to say, he was impressive. The song was distinctly understated, the beat not really flamboyant but the words and his enunciation made up for it. Small quirks of his voice broke out mid song and the slight slur he had only made the song’s effect lasting. That combined with the distressed baggy jeans, tight army jacket and a bucket hat pulled low over his eyes – he looked like a professional.

“He’s really good. I loved it.” I said, when Hoseok finished, taking a curt bow and flashing a sudden smirk, half face still hidden before he vanished behind the curtain.

On the other side of me, Namjoon chuckled. “Yeah, you’re not the only one.” He said, indicating the still screaming girls. I cringed at a few who were blatantly shouting about what they wanted him to do to them.

I was going to ask this man – this overwhelmingly popular man – to act as my fake boyfriend till Jimin took notice. What had I just walked into?

“Mina, I need to go backstage. Do you and Y/N want to come with?” Namjoon asked, slipping his glasses off and replacing them with black shades.

“Yeah, I need to make a few introductions.” Mina muttered, putting her cup down and grabbing my arm. “Let’s go.”

The backstage to the club was quieter. The screaming that previously deafened me had dimmed by now, eagerly awaiting the next artist to scream for and the lull was bliss to my poor ears and more than likely to the performers also.

Mina and I walked with Namjoon, through the small section where I spied the announcer taking a drink and some boys chatting up fans obviously.

“I’ll be going on now. Make sure you don’t leave without saying goodbye.” Namjoon called, nudging Mina a little with his shoulder before pointing over her head. “There’s Hobi and Yoongi. Go wait with them.”

I watched Namjoon depart, with a small wave in my direction that I smiled at before Mina was leading me over to where two men were deep in conversation.

“Boys,” Mina threw her arms over their necks in lieu of a greeting. The smaller boy jumped a little, immediately retaliating with a smack. “Bitch, I didn’t see you during my performance.”

“I work for a living, Min. Plus, I came, didn’t I? I also brought a friend.” She turned to me, gesturing me to come forward. I took a small step forward.

Two heads turned to me in surprise, eyes boggling a bit. “You have friends?” The taller one, Hoseok obviously, asked. This time it was him getting smacked before Mina snorted. “Only this one, actually; this is my precious, sweet roommate, Y/N. Y/N, this goof here is Yoongi, and that jackass,” she paused, heavy with implication, “is Jung Hoseok.”

My eyes helplessly fixed on Hoseok, who was looking right back at me. His hat was gone, hair falling to the front in a sweaty mass. His head was thrown back, cheekbones high and flushed. His eyes were a little narrowed in thought and he glimmered in perspiration but somehow managed to not look gross.

He was actually surprisingly good looking – hot even. I could understand the screaming girls now. If he looked like this, and his rap sounded like that…well, he probably deserved more screaming fans.

“Looks like your girl has a crush, Mina, she didn’t even look at me.” Yoongi cut in suddenly.

I shook my head immediately, turning to him with a smiling apology. “No sorry; I’m just a little overwhelmed. I’ve never been to an underground rap thing before.” I explained.

“Ah, you’re a little newbie.” Yoongi smirked, teasing with small teeth full on display. Eh, it was cute. Were all Mina’s friends so surprisingly adorable under their intimidating personas?

“What’s the matter, Min? You jealous a chick is eyeing me instead of you?” Hoseok shot at his friend, who grimaced.

“Dude, I don’t need to be jealous of you and your chicks. I distinctly remember a few of yours having STDs the last time. I have enough to handle. Besides, what if she’s already dibbed by Namjoon?”

“Then a duel can happen,” Mina cut in quickly. “Now, are you going to get us drinks or what?”

The drinks happened once Namjoon had joined us. Mina had already given me a silent signal and while I was quickly loosing nerve, I knew I had to take at least one shot. If he refused, well…I could just die in shame, never try crossing paths with him, maybe move out of the shared apartment and oh, die alone. Maybe I could get a nice cat – a Persian.

The three rappers took me and Mina to a booth, sliding in and letting out groans of comfort.

“It’s always better once everyone leaves and we can just chill.” Namjoon explained to me. I hummed, sipping gingerly at my coffee. My eyes drifted, watching where some of the workers had started sweeping out balloons, confetti and glitter. Some were polishing equipment and glasses and even Anton was at a table, nursing a drink. I saw the bartender by the front, counting bills.

“Do you earn from this?” I asked.

“Why, thinking of trying to give us some competition?” Hoseok leaned forward, straight across from me, a haughty grin spread across his face.

I blinked, taken aback. “You don’t seem to have much confidence in your skills, if you think I can give you competition.”

The comment was out before I could even think of stopping it. It bubbled out and I smacked my mouth shut, eyes widening.

Oh fuck, I did not just say that.

There was a stunned silence, a look of genuine surprise passing over Hoseok’s face as he gaped at me. Mina was smirking proudly while Namjoon and Yoongi guffawed openly.

“Nice, blatant insulting mixed with a little self depreciation. You’ll fit right in, Y/N.” Namjoon laughed.

Yoongi chose to answer my question. “We do earn some. You have to start a novice, of course. That’s a no pay show until you create a fan base and you know, actually have people screaming for you. Management gives you…a promotion then. The club hosts us, promotes us, and gives us special shows, even solos. The ones who buy tickets to watch us are what make us special. The money is divided between us and the club.”

“That’s really wonderful. You must all work hard.” I said.

“Yeah, which is why we spend all our time here; composing and writing verses. College is great and all, but we’re artists. Exposure is everything at this stage.” Namjoon added.

I caught Hoseok giving Mina a look and blushed. He was probably going to rant about how I was a loud mouthed idiot. There go all my chances.

“Well guys, this has been great but Y/N has classes tomorrow and I got to get to work. I’ll see you guys very soon.” Min got to her feet, her eyes on me. I took my cue, standing up as well.

Yoongi and Namjoon griped, Hoseok lounging back almost as if he was expecting something. At Mina’s pointedly raised eyebrows, I tossed caution to the winds. “Um, Hoseok, can I have a word?”

There was a pause in which Hoseok turned calm, cool eyes on me, his face blank. Then, slowly, fluidly, he got to his feet, looking at me expectantly.

I turned, keeping my head down to hide my furious blush. Namjoon wolf whistled behind us. “Stop it, Joon, she just wants to apologize.” Mina quickly cut him off.

Hoseok followed me out through towards the exit, taking a turn in one of the smaller hallways.

“This way,” He said curtly, a jerk of his head indicating me to follow him while he led us out, hands deep in his jacket pockets. “It’ll be quieter here.”

I meekly obeyed, taking smaller steps compared to his long legged strides. We reached a double door, Hoseok pushing down the bar lock so we could slip out.

It was probably the back alley of the bar, lined with dumpsters, wooden and metal crates and various odds and ends expected of an underground club, I supposed. It was cooler here, breath rising up in visible white puffs from our mouths.

Hoseok walked to the farther back, leaning against it with one foot propped on the exposed, chipped bricks. “So, what did you want to talk about?” He asked. “I doubt it’s an apology for what you said.”

I frowned a little at that. Mina had said that to hide my ulterior motives, something I was grateful to her for but that did not mean I was going to actually do it.

“I can if you think it’ll help you.” I said, letting just a hint of acid creep into my voice.

Hoseok managed a laugh. “No, Y/N, I don’t need you to appease my bruised ego. Just get on with it.” He said.

I nodded, taking one deep breath. “I have something of a proposition for you.” I said.

The boy in front of me tilted his head to one side. “What kind of proposition?”

I fought hard to not close my eyes, to not let the intimidating Hoseok render me speechless. All I had to do was spit it out. What was the worst that could happen? He could refute the proposal, the least humiliating. He could laugh and call me delusional or a conniving bitch. That, well, that I’d just have to handle without trying to let the fact bother me that I did not come off as pleasant in this situation either way.

The worst of it was probably that I knew it, and yet I was going through with it.

So, without missing another beat, I let her rip. I told him about Jimin, my desire for him and what I wanted him to do. I tried to say it without sounding ridiculous but with the plan out – yes, I could hear the dumbness of it.

I was asking Jung Hoseok – popular, famed, sexy Jung Hoseok, on whom girls and maybe boys threw their bodies with wild abandon – to act as my boyfriend, till Park Jimin took notice, felt miraculously jealous and asked me out. What was the logic? Why would Jimin, hopefully more sensible than me, ask me out when he thought I was with Hoseok?

Even as I finished, Hoseok had lounged further, now looking a little bored.

“Yeah, I know; Mina already told me.”

I stuttered to a stop.

“Mina…she told you what now?” I asked a little weakly.

“All of that which you just said. I already knew that.” He waved a finger in the air to show ‘all that’.

“Hang on…if you knew already; why would you ask me to say it all again?” Irritation had flared up in my throat, fighting the rising embarrassment.

Hoseok shrugged. “Call it an experiment. Mina said you and she discussed this late at night. Weird decisions are made late at night. You showing up here were surprising. So I wanted to see if you could say what you wanted.”

I lolled back on the balls of my feet, staring at him. “So, what’s the conclusion?”

He didn’t answer the question. “I need you to know this. I don’t get along with Park Jimin a lot. I don’t have a problem annoying the shit out of him. I just need to know if you’re up for this.” He lowered his head to pin me with a gaze that was of warning and stern grievance at once.

I paused, weighing options that might mean a whole of an eventful year. Then came; the crinkled, wide smile that Jimin beamed, his golden skin gleaming in the sunlight.

I looked up to give Hoseok a steeled look. “Yes, I’m in.” I said firmly.

Hoseok’s blank stern face melted into a wicked smirk, eyes shining with mocking intent. “We’ll see about that. I hope you’re ready for a fun ride,” He paused heavily, “baby girl.”

[akp-1327]

dear diary // chapter three

Hey! Long time, no see! I am so, so, so sorry that this chapter is late. I’ve been having a bit of a busy time recently and haven’t had many opportunities to write/edit like usual. But now I have a looser schedule so updates to the series should go back to normal! 😄 I hope you are all doing okay wherever you are! :)

Find the series masterlist here to catch up on the previous chapter!

Word count: 4.6k

(*) Warnings: mentions of bankruptcy and emotional abuse

All I could see was red. The anger that flowed through my veins was terrifyingly smooth, leaving my entire body shaking. The news that my mom just told me, well, sobbed to me, left me in awe. In terrible, heart-wrenching, shocking...awe.

Sweetie, my mom’s sweet and clear voice bellowed through my memory, I’m so sorry. So, so, so sorry, darling.

“Charlotte, you need to calm down. Seriously. I don’t know what’s--” Leila said softly, her hands firm on my shaking shoulders.

At a time like this, I didn’t need her soothing me. I needed her to slap me out of this impending doom that I thought would tear me apart. I needed to get a grip on reality, to comprehend that this entire nightmare was actually happening.

“Leila, do you know what my mom just told me?” I huffed, throwing my phone onto the tidy bed that I had just made. Our first night in New York had started off amazingly, as if it was taken straight out of a movie; we met new and amazing people, found Leila’s wayward bag, explored the dorm building...

Then, when called my mom once we got back to our dorm...everything came crashing down like a colossal, teetering tower of Jenga blocks.

Leila scowled at me then, squeezing my shoulders harder. Her eyes, usually a coffee bean brown, looked inky black when her entire demeanor changed from confused to quite ticked off. I immediately regretted the tone I used, though there was no going back now.

“Does it look like I do? God, you can be so dense sometimes!” Leila stated, glaring right into my eyes with a look that sent a chill down my spine. “Something’s up and you need to tell me immediately.”

This wasn’t something that I thought I could even have the guts to say. But, sooner than I though, words started forming on the tip of my tongue at the speed of light; but one stood out in particular, one chilling me to the bone.

“Bankrupt.”

This set her back, making her hands falter a bit on my shoulders.

“What? Charlotte, I need deta--”

“The diner, Leila.”

The words slowly tore my heart into microscopic pieces. Every notable memory I had from my childhood took place at the diner. I could distinctly remember the scent of buttermilk pancake batter being mixed and the sounds of plates being stacked. I could remember the outside, the bright yellow paint standing out against the lifeless gray colors of the neighborhood that it’s surrounded by.

“T-The Golden Griddle?” Leila asked, confusion consuming her features once more. The intense look in her eyes slowly fizzled out and turned into pure fret. As she’d always been, Leila was not well-composed in these types of situations.

“Yes. There’s just too many complications with the building, too many expenses and so little money...” I sighed sadly. Tears welled in my eyes, though I didn’t need to show Leila that. And so, with a deep breath, I sniffled and shook my head to clear the emotions away. “My dad spent what he could to fix the cheaper things like the light fixtures and seats, but then he got carried away with fixing the rest of the bigger issues. It all added up over time, Leila. Now the diner...the diner doesn’t have anything left.”

The diner had so, so many issues for such a long time. The interior, for as long as I could remember, was small. There were only ten tables, half of those being booths that lined the walls, in total. The kitchen was also considerably compact for the amount of business that the diner would face. My parents always wanted to get around to renovate properly, but could never keep up with the overwhelming amounts of money spent on necessities like ingredients, napkins, utensils, advertisements...so DIY projects and repairs it was.

“But your parents still own it, right? They can bounce back?”

My heart yearned to be at home with my family. Why would I leave? God, I really am dense. Forget school, forget dreams. Home is where I should’ve been when that news was unveiled, not thousands of miles away.

“No. I guess the health inspector said that there were so many things with the building that set off a lot of red flags. He condemned it right on the spot.”

Leila’s eyebrow’s furrowed in thought. It was never easy for me to talk about these things - the serious things - with her. Of course, though, she knew almost everything about me; she knew that I was never the “open book” type and would always need a bit of encouragement to work my way up to talking things through. I’d rather sit and wallow in my misery than get help. The whole mindset had definitely not been ideal for anyone, but that was always the least of my worries.

The moment Leila looked back into my eyes was the moment she started to speak, her voice soft like it was before; again, I didn’t need to be sympathized, I needed to be able to see reason. This whole thing caught me completely off-guard.

Leila whispered, shaking her head, “How did this even happen?”

In high school, a very wise teacher of mine once said that there is no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid people who ask questions. However, by the looks of it, this was definitely an exception. Even with her ingenious, Leila had just asked one of the stupidest questions known to man. 

She knew exactly how this happened, and has known for years. The Golden Griddle’s financial instability had never, ever been able to be kept secret in a town such as Ceder Cove, no matter how many times my parents tried.

“Oh, wait. Sorry.” Leila stammered, looking up at the ceiling to collect herself.

“It’s fine. I just can’t fathom what my parents are going through right now. Henry, too.” I sighed, stepping back from Leila and letting my shoulders deflate. I slowly sat on the edge of my bed and crossed my legs, my gaze trained on the aged wood floor. “Even if I should, I’m not calling my mom back with more details tonight. This...this is just too much for me to handle right now.”

Leila was silent and I looked up to see her scrolling through her phone. 

Seriously? I cleared my throat to get her attention...but she didn’t even flinch.

“Leila. Are you even listening to me? Or...are you texting Skye?”

Leila’s eyes immediately averted from her phone to look at me. The smallest hint of a blush crept into her cheeks, though she played it off and rolled her eyes.

“Actually, Erin wants to take us shopping for the party next week when we’re available. Check your phone.” Leila stated, a defensive edge in her tone. I was the one to roll my eyes this time.

Now, let’s get this straight; I am not fond of parties. Leila had dragged me to each homecoming, each winter formal, and the two prom nights that we had. My date to prom both years, a guy named Harold Longhorn (a total snob), would not shut up about politics or the “oh-so-stupid” stock market. I only went with him because he said he’d tutor me for free with my AP Euro and AP Chem homework in collateral. Oh, and did I mention that his dad is a major entrepreneur in the Portland area? Wait, that’s unimportant; just like every single party I’ve ever been to in my life. 

“Do I have to go? I’d rather stay here and reread Pride & Prejudice for the millionth time or something that I actually enjoy. Dancing the night away doesn’t sound as interesting to me as my daily dose of Mr. Darcy.”

Leila scoffed and looked over at me again, her eyebrow quirked in such a way that left me a bit uneasy.

“News flash, Charlotte Parker, but Mr. Darcy is fictitious and will not save you from this.” Leila scolded, though she was playful about it. “I’m not letting you stay here because you’re a college girl now and you need to socialize with people other than me!”

“Ughhhh,” I groaned, laying down onto my bed and turning away from her and burying my face into my pillow that sadly smelt like home, “you sound just like my mom!”

Leila burst out into laughter that sent a faint chill down my spine. Whatever her plans were, she knew I’d loathe them.

“I’m glad.”

*

*

August 10th, 2020

Dear Diary...

Okay. Sorry for the radio silence. Lots has happened over the course of a couple weeks that I need to get off my chest. As Scar would say, be prepared...

First off, NYU is amazing. I’ve already met lots of (!!) people, though 4 have become friends! Two girls, two guys: Skye, Erin, Rory, and Ajay. They’re all really down-to-earth and genuinely cool people that I’m getting along with! 

Rory and Leila are really like two peas in a pod, and so are Skye and Leila. Leila is just a social butterfly, so she honestly gets along with everyone. Erin and Ajay, though, are more mellow and easy-going. Erin is so...laid back? Like she’s the type of person that you could spill your life story to. She’s just so, I don’t know... nonchalant? - definitely in a good way.

However, I feel more drawn to Ajay; we share similar interests and outlooks on life. He even saw my performance at Spotlite! He’s also a student director here at NYU, so if I do somehow wind up in the show, I’d probably work with him. It even helps that he’s kinda cute, but you didn’t hear that from me.

Overall, though, the campus is absolutely stunning and the view from our dorm window takes my breath away each and every morning.

Second, The Golden Griddle is doomed right now due to both bankruptcy and condemnation. My parents are all torn up about it, and to be blatantly honest, so am I. The diner has always been a home away from home, and now that I may have to face losing it forever...

Third, I HATE PARTIES. With a deep, burning passion.

Leila, if you’re reading this, then you can call me George Eacker: piss off because I’m watching this show - also known as Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist - now...well..when you’re at the party! There’s no way in hell that I’m stepping foot into anything resembling a disco or a dance or even, god forbid, a hoedown like that one during our sophomore year. Nope, nope, nope. Over my dead body.

All in all, I’m having a wonderful time settling into my new life in New York. Of course I miss home, but I also feel like it was time for me to spread my wings and learn to fly!

Alright. I gotta run. I’m going shopping. And, yes, it’s regrettably for this pointless party that I’m being forced to go to against my will. 

Talk, er, write soon!

Charlotte :)

*

*

“Ooo, what’re you writing about?” Leila asked, barging back into our slightly messy dorm after finishing with her morning routine. I hastily closed my diary and forced a smile.

“Um, it’s just the address of my uncle’s new house! Mom said to write it down somewhere in case I lost my phone.”

Shoot. Thank God Leila wasn’t really paying much attention to catch how bad of an excuse that was; she just turned her back to me and scavenged through a pile of dirty clothes already heaped in the corner by her closet. It’s been six days since we’ve moved in. I still haven’t really organized nor have I gotten around to calling my parents or Henry with updates about the diner.

“Right, right. He moved a couple days ago. Though, with our plans today, are you ready to go? Erin and Skye are already waiting for us downstairs.” Leila said, grabbing her purse. I gave her a scowl and grabbed my own, sighing as I slung it on my shoulder.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess. But I have one quick question,” I said, finally catching her attention, “why are you wearing those?”

My eyes went to the unscuffed black stilettos on her feet; they had to have been at least 5 inches tall. She laughed and instinctively brought one of her ankles up to rub it as if she’d been in pain. The stilettos were paired with a pair of skinny and holey whitewash jeans and a black Shinedown sweatshirt with a crow and a butterfly printed in white; from what I remember, that was one of the band’s songs.

“I’m wearing these to the party so I figured I’d break them in a little first. And I need to find a dress that looks good with them, so why not?”

“Fair warning, you might actually break something else before you walk a block in those death traps.” I teased, making her huff. This was obviously not something she wanted to hear, but let’s remember who was dragging me to this stupid party in the first place. My sarcasm comes with the territory!

“Jesus, you make it sound like I’m breaking a law! They’re just heels!” Leila laughed, shaking her head. Her hair had been in two Dutch braids, making her outfit even more unique. To each their own, I suppose.

“Just heels that might put you on crutches,” I mumbled, rolling my eyes as I slipped my (comfortable) light pink flip flops on. We headed down to the lobby and quickly spotted Erin, chatting with Rory and Ajay, and Skye standing a little off to the side.

“Ah, there you guys are!” Erin grinned, running over and leading us over to the group.

“I thought this was a girl trip?” I asked, playfully eyeing the guys. Ajay gave a tight-lipped smile and rolled his eyes.

“Oh, don’t worry, it is. We were just heading out to find Rory another outfit that he apparently needs because his six other ones aren’t enough.” Ajay explained, making direct eye contact with me. I could see the different blends of brown tinges in his eyes - the light from both the windows and the bulbs above hitting just the right angles - shimmer behind his glasses. I also noticed that he was wearing a simple green t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts with black Nike’s. 

Wait, what?

“I may have a slight obsession with shopping,” Rory said sheepishly, slowly creeping away from the group, “but I also need something fresh. I can’t be seen in the same maroon shirt that I wore to--”

Ajay’s groan interrupted him but he followed in Rory’s footsteps with a small shrug. “We’ll be going now. Have fun.”

I immediately felt myself missing his eyes. The brown sparkles that caught my own. Was it so wrong to find his eyes...gorgeous? Didn’t think so.

As they waved goodbye, Leila migrated from my side to Skye’s. The redhead looked particularly sad today, but let out the slightest trace of a smile when Leila started talking to her.

“So, where’re we going to go first, o’ wise Erin?” I asked, turning to her. She looked a bit lost in thought, a bit dazed when our eyes met, but I could tell she regained herself before she answered.

“Well, I thought we’d take a trip to The Shops today,” Erin said smugly, her hand resting on her hip, “we can take an Uber in case we want to make other stops along the way!”

Skye visibly revolted at the thought, her arms tightening around her chest and her glower intensifying. The way her blue eyes darkened was just a bit unsettling, too.

“Okay. Sounds good...” I sighed, gripping my leather purse strap a bit tighter.

“Sure,” Skye groaned, “good. Great. Grand. Just how I wanted to spend my day.”

*

*

The nearby mall, The Shops, had a wide array of stores that we buzzed in and out of, Erin and Leila eagerly leading the way.

“You know,” I said, looking over at Skye, “I really don’t understand why we need new clothes for this party.”

Skye shrugged. “Me neither. I never really had to get new clothes for the banquets that I went to as a kid with my parents.” 

I instantly noticed that her hands were in tight fists at her sides.

“What do your parents do?” I asked, trying to keep her talking. I really wanted to get to know her better; she was still such a mystery and I was destined to change that.

Though, the bitter grimace she gave at the question was all the hint that I needed to know that I’d said something wrong, maybe even crossed a line.

“They do nothing but make a lot of money and prioritize themselves over anything else, even their own kids.”

Oh, wow. I blinked rapidly, willing my brain to say, something, anything, to break the agonizing silence building between us.

“Oh. I’m sorry I brought it up.” I stammered, though she shook her head.

“It’s okay. It’s just...not something I really like to talk about.” Skye sighed, almost ruefully. Despite my pending curiosity, I left the topic be.

“What’re you here in New York to do, Skye?” I asked instead, hoping to lighten her spirits a little. When she looked back over at me, she gave me a neutral expression.

“Graphics,” Skye stated, her tone firm and assured, “I want to be a graphics designer.”

“That’s really interesting. Have you designed anything yourself?”

Sadly, before I could hear her answer, Erin and Leila gasped in unison and pointed to a store. A quick glance at the shop name was enough to make me roll my eyes.

“Windsor! Yes!” Leila squealed, bolting into the store without a second thought. Erin rushed after her, gesturing for Skye and I to follow.

Several racks of dresses filled the store and even lined the walls, some popping with bright color and some glittering with infinite sparkle. I watched Leila pluck several dresses off their racks and fold them over her arm, shaking my head.

“Wow, look at this abomination.” Skye murmured, plucking a dress made of plastic (well, not literally, but basically) off the rack. It was a flamingo pink and looked like something a Barbie doll would wear. A laugh escaped her as she sifted through and pulled out the other options, the colors ranging from a vibrant cobalt to a neon yellow.

“I’ve always wanted to be Barbie disguised as a highlighter! Skye, how’d you know?” I giggled, taking a resembling green one off the same rack. My poor eyes ached at the sight of all the vivid colors.

“Pure intuition, obviously.” Skye responded, putting the dresses back on the rack. “Jeez, I could never wear any of these.”

I could agree; I would never be able to pull any of these off. Also, it didn’t help that they were so effervescent and looked severely uncomfortable. (I mean, how do you even move in that kind of material?)

“Me neither,” I said wistfully, plucking another dress off a nearby rack. It was a black sweetheart-necklined dress that cut off at (what I’d say) the knee. It had some lace detailing on the straps and a few sparkles scattered across both the bodice and the skirt. It wasn’t over-the-top, nor was it boring...

I held it up to Skye, making her jump back a little with surprise. I giggled and closed an eye, coming to a conclusion about how this dress would look incredible on her.

“Whoa, what’re--” Skye asked, her eyes widening. I smiled warmly and laid it over her arm.

“I think this is a good option for you, and I’m guessing your a 4?” I smirked, watching her gape in both confusion and amusement.

“How’d you...know?”

“Pure intuition, obviously.” I playfully mocked, making her crack a tiny smile. As we continued throughout the store, we came across a few more ridiculously bright options, thankfully not made out of a faux plastic. 

About five minutes into our little exploration, I spotted a dress; it was a silvery mauve skater dress with a flowing skirt and spaghetti straps. By some sort of force, it spoke to me.

“That’s pretty,” Skye said, nodding in approval as I held it up, “ it definitely speaks ‘girl who can read minds’ to me.”

Oh jeez, she’s cool. She’s really cool.

“Perfect, it’s just what I’m looking for, then,” I joked, folding the dress over my arm and walking further into the store. Erin and Leila, practically having the time of their lives, had their arms brimming with dresses that ranged from super glittery to extremely bright. I could swear I could see a familiar highlighter yellow in Leila’s stack, but that could just be my mind playing tricks on me.

Speaking of Leila, I stifled a giggle as I watched her wobble around in her stilettos, grimacing whenever she walked too fast. Not to say I told you so, Leila, I thought, but...I told you so.

“Ladies!” Erin squealed, pointing back to the dressing room area with her free hand. “Let’s go try these on!”

*

*

“How about this masterpiece?” Leila giggled, sauntering out of the dressing room. Erin burst into laughter, Skye rolled her eyes, and I, well...

“Oh my God, Leila...” I playfully gagged, covering my eyes. Turns out that she really did pick out a highlighter dress to try on. After a few laughs, she turned around and changed into a royal blue dress with a deep V neckline. It was sparkly, sassy, and overall...very Leila.

*

*

“Wow, you look great, Skye!” I cheered, giving her two thumbs-up as she examined herself in the mirror. The dress was a perfect fit and she seemed to be comfortable in it. Her hands idly fiddled with the skirt, experimentally flicking it back and forth in thought.

“It seriously looks amazing on you!” Erin smiled, nodding with approval. Skye gave me a small, appreciative smile in the mirror.

I took a quick glance over at Leila and was met with her wide eyes and deep red cheeks.

*

*

“Charlotte, phew, you look hot!” Leila whistled, gesturing for me to spin around. I didn’t really gush over the “dream dress” as much as I had hoped. In fact, the more I looked at it, the more I disliked it.

“Maybe we can find a different color?” I said, looking back at Erin’s face; she definitely did not like it. She shot up out of her chair and came back a moment later with a similar option. It was the same style of dress but in a jade green shade instead. It was also not as shimmery, but more dull and had ruffles on the neckline.

I ducked back into the dressing room and quickly changed. With just a glance at myself now, I knew I found the one. I stepped back out and saw everyone’s face light up.

“Yup,” Erin said smugly as she crossed her legs, “that’s the one.”

*

*

Erin walked out in a tight-fitting midi white dress that popped against her flawless chocolate brown skin. It had a plunging V-neck and a small slit on the left side that climbed all the way up toward the middle of her thigh. Needless to say...she was killing it.

“Now I just need some hoops...” Erin mumbled as she examined herself. Leila looked over at me and just gaped.

“Stunning!” I said, and Erin gave me a warm and self-satisfied smile.

*

*

Finally, we were heading home in an Uber. But because of how long the shopping took, we decided to stop and get some ice cream from a local parlor; all after persuading the driver to wait for us with a hefty tip.

Erin munched on a mixture of raspberry and vanilla, Leila got creamsicle all over her face, Skye picked at her brownie swirl, and I delightfully ate two scoops of cake batter.

“So. Are you two excited about going to this party now?” Erin asked, eyeing Skye and I. At the same time, we both shook our heads.

“New dress, same feelings.” Skye sighed, looking down into her dish. I nodded in agreement only to hear a dramatic sigh from Leila.

“You two will have fun. We’ll find fun things for you guys!” Leila grinned, glancing at Erin. The two shared a look that, like all the times before, sent a chill down my spine.

“You guys can’t make us have fun.” Skye said, figuring her face was serious; but I looked over to see a teasing smirk on her face.

“Well, we can sure as hell try! Besides, what do you guys have against parties?” Erin said, her tone a bit more tame then it was before. My eyes averted from theirs, and without looking, I could tell Skye was doing the same.

Awkward silence wracked the table for what seemed like hours before Skye spoke up.

“You can thank my parents for being the pessimistic and narcissistic assholes that they are. My distaste originates from them.” Skye said, her teasing tone completely replaced with a hiss. She spoke in a mumbled tone, as if she wished she didn’t want to speak.

“I’ve just never been really...happy with the ones I’ve gone to in the past.” I added awkwardly. I thought about the one good party I went to...and of course it had to be from the diner. Emotions bubbled in my throat and were about to escape before Leila (thankfully) interjected with a disapproving groan.

Then, right after, all three of us got looks of unbridled hope and amusement from Erin.

“That’s going to change because, dearest freshmen, you’ve never experienced a party quite like a college party.”

And it can stay that way, I thought.

*

*

The rest of the ice cream was eaten alongside lighter conversation, and then, FINALLY, we were back in the dorms.

The afternoon flew as I decided to buckle down and unpack the remainder of my things. Leila went to hang out with Erin and Skye (without heels, if you were wondering) as I slaved away at stacking my t-shirts in my closet, that is until I got a knock at my door.

As soon as I opened it, I saw a familiar pair of gorgeous eyes lock onto mine.

“Hi, I know this is kinda weird,” Ajay said casually, “ but I have a question for you.”

I leaned against the door, praying I didn’t look like an uncoordinated mess. “It’s not weird at all, actually. Shoot.”

God, his eyes are just breathtaking in any and every way. Was it weird to be obsessing over an acquaintance’s eyes like this? Yes, I thought, yes it was.

“Well, since we really don’t want to go to the party, I was hoping we could try to get something out of it?”

What does he mean? If we didn’t want to go, what good would we be able to get out of it?

I tipped my head a bit to the side in curiosity and felt some of my blonde hair come loose from its bun.

“Let me escort you. To the party.”

Wait, was that an actual thing? An escort to a college party? No way. It sounded so childlike, almost like something an elementary kid would say.

“Hang on. Do you mean, like, as a date?” I asked, my tone packing more intensity than I had hoped. His eyes widened and he shook his head.

“No, no. I just want to get to know you better. I thought that this would be a better option than hunting you down in a huge mass of drunk people and ending up not being able to find you.” Ajay explained, a light smile tugging at his lips. “So...?”

Maybe spending the night with someone with the same ideals as me would make the night less dreadful, perhaps even fun. I barely gave the idea a thought before words left my mouth. 

“Sure, Ajay, I’ll be your escort.”

[metoo-desu]

Sorry! Wrong Slayer! - 2/?

’I think you should reconsider that joke if he’s a hindrance to your missions. But then again, he managed to find the right receiver this time. An improvement in his performance?’

It’s been three days since Poya came back with a response, feeling extremely proud of her crow for getting his job done and right, earning himself a short break. Y/n had also received Shinobu’s crow, who provided very vague details about the stranger who has been sending Poya back to her with messages. Disappointed with the her friend’s details, she sent back Shinobu’s crow with a few curse words, quite bothered that the Insect Pillar refused to give her a name except, ‘Oh. That guy? He’s cool, I guess. He’s around our age. You’ve heard of him and seen him around.’ 

Y/n let out a groan just thinking about it, splashing at the water out of frustration. Leaving the banks of the gentle river she bathed in, she quickly collected her clothing that had been drying in the sun. 

“Who could it be?” 

She never really paid attention to her surroundings at the Butterfly Estate, usually keeping to herself and hanging around the people she knew and felt comfortable with unless others had business with her. It also didn’t help that she rarely visited the estate. 

The demon slayer quickly dressed and went on her way towards a westernized-town for her newly assigned mission delivered by a different crow Oyakata gladly sent. Poya followed after, perching himself on her shoulder and happily eating the berries and seeds she’d hold up for him throughout the trip. By the time Y/n arrived, the sun had already set, bringing the town to life with lights, music, and fun— somewhere a demon would gladly lurk around for their next and easy prey. 

“Fly, Poya.”

With the simple command, the crow left her shoulder and flew away to hide. Y/n didn’t receive any details about the demon, but all she knew was that they prefer young ladies. Bodies were found in unsuspecting places, meaning that the demon knew well of the area and is clever. Her katana would be a dead giveaway that she’s a slayer and the demon would try to avoid her at all cost unless if they were bold enough to confront her. So while she brushed and bumped past people in the crowd to be in the heart of the town, Y/n hid her sword out of plain sight under her haori before wrapping her patterned clothing. 

Searching for a demon amongst a large crowd seemed rather difficult, especially in a setting similar to the Red Light District. Y/n thought of her friend who preferred these types of missions, claiming it perfect for his flamboyancy— surely he would have completed this mission in no time. 

“Nothing I can’t handle though,” Y/n hummed, thinking of another way to lure the demon out. “If I can’t track it down, then I’ll give them the honor to track me down.”

It was a technique she learned from watching the Wind Pillar not too long ago when they were partnered up. She reached up to her head and removed the pin that held her hair together, removing the tiny blade from its scabbard before pricking her finger and applying the blood on her lips. It was way better than how Sanemi would do it, who’d run his blade across his wrist and spill more than necessary. And so she walked around with blood stained lips, spreading her scent through the crowd and hoped the demon would catch the scent of her rare blood. 

It didn’t take awhile before she noticed a man following her while in a drunken state. She rounded to a corner and so did he, leading him into a less crowded area. He increased his speed and caught up to her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her flush against his body. 

He reeked of alcohol. So he wasn’t the demon after all. 

Y/n pushed the man away and glared at him in disgust, “Get your hands off me before I cu—“ she stopped mid-sentence when she felt a cold hand on her shoulder. 

“Is this man bothering you?” 

Her eyes stared at the hand, slowly trailing up to its owner. “He was,” she answered, staring into the new stranger’s blue eyes. “But I’ve got it under control.” She watched the drunk man scurry away from her peripheral vision, seeing the fear on his face. 

“That man,” he spoke, nodding at the retreating figure. “He’s known to bother ladies. Somebody ought to put him in place and I was afraid it would have been me. Wouldn’t work out so well for him if that were the case.”

Y/n smiled, not at what he said but at her realization. She chuckled, “Either way, it wouldn’t have worked out well for him if you hadn’t interfered. Lucky man.” She stepped away from him to stand face to face with the man. “But thank you for that. I didn’t want to find myself in a fight on my first night here before I get to look around.”

“Oh, you’re not from here?” He looked down at her, licking at his lips. “Lucky you, I know this place like the back of my hand. Would you like a tour?” 

“Of course, I wouldn’t mind someone showing me around. A good company is always welcome to me!”

The two walked around, walking from stall to stall as Y/n purchased a few things she planned on giving out to her Pillar friends once she comes back. Later throughout their time together, the man who introduced himself as Ito offered to show her to his favorite place.

“It’s a spot with the best view of the town. Do you want to check it out?” 

Y/n pocketed her little souvenirs and agreed, “Yes! I’d like to see the lights.” 

And the two went off to his secret spot, walking towards a dark ally. Y/n’s guard went up quickly went they reached the end of it. Ito smiled, gesturing to the ladder next to him. 

“After you,” she told him, watching him climb the steps before following him. He offered his hand when she reached the roof of the building, but she ignored it and helped herself up, immediately running to the edge of the building with Ito right behind her. 

Ito watched her, feeling himself already salivating over the scent of his rare prey— a marechi. He heard her gasp in awe at the view. 

“Wow! This is beautiful, Ito!” Y/n exclaimed, opening her arms as she welcomed the cool breeze. She twirled around in excitement, letting out a laugh. 

“I told you that you’d lo—“ He stopped when he felt an itch on his neck right before the world started to tilt. Ito looked to Y/n, who stood there with a sword in hand and the most blank expression he’s seen on her.

A demon slayer?

When did she pull out her sword? 

Y/n looked back to the view, admiring it once more before she goes on to her next mission. “You’re quite lucky to have such a view during your final moment. Not many are lucky,” she said. “I did enjoy your company. Being a demon slayer can be quite lonely so thank you for that.” 

When Ito completely dissipated, a black bird flew over to her. “You’re not Poya,” she mused. “Who could you be? Assigning me another mission already? I’ve yet to complete the next one.”

“I bring not an assignment but a message to Y/n!” 

The slayer nodded curly for it to continue. 

‘Did you really consider killing that crow of yours?’

And so he’s sending his crow over to her now? Y/n held out her arm for the crow to perch on, laughing as she gave it her response. 

“Training took a toll on Poya, so he’s on temporary leave until he’s up and well-rested. Guess we’ll be using your crow as point of contact, wrong slayer. At least there’ll be no delays and crash-landings that really might just kill my poor crow. I heard you were also a busy man, are you that bored that you want to keep sending crows?”

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 

“I’m not bored.”

Giyu leaned back on the tree, his crow perched on a high branch, waiting for an instruction. The cicadas sang around him as he thought of a response, coming up with nothing after ten minutes besides getting irritated with himself. So he walked away without sending out a response. 

The next day, Poya appeared beside his crow with a message.

’What? Are you embarrassed? Is that why you didn’t send yours? Poya’s lame and I get embarrassed, but I still send him over to you. And Shinobu refuses to tell me your name, so it kinda sucks you know mine. Who are you?’

Y/n did sound familiar, hearing her name being mentioned by the other Pillars during the meetings. In fact, she was mentioned again in today’s meeting by Tengen who asked about her absence. Curiosity got the best of him that he had to push a little bit of his pride away and ask someone about her and that someone was no other than Shinobu.

Of course, he regretted the moment she laughed at him.

“Y/n is our newest Pillar, promoted about two weeks ago while you were gone out for a mission. Today was supposed to be her first meeting actually. Pretty bummed out because of that,” Shinobu finally answered him. She pouted, “Honestly, I’m quite surprised that you don’t know her. She was always around the Butterfly Estate before she got promoted, usually with me and Mitsuri. Now, she’s mostly away, picking up mission after mission.”

Giyu nodded, “I see. That’s all I need.”

Shinobu grinned, “Why do you ask? Does Poya’s owner pique your interest?”

“Tengen mentioned her.”

“Really now?” Her purple eyes narrowed at him mischievously. He left her before she could interrogate and tease him further.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^

Two crows flew over trees, cawing like there was no tomorrow while one lagged behind. Y/n sat behind a cart she managed to hitch a ride from, swinging her legs as she waited for the two crows to come down to her. The Pillar finished the series of her missions Oyakata assigned for her, finally on her way home to the Butterfly Estate for the first time in two weeks. Both birds swooped down and landed next to her.

’You’re a Pillar, how come you didn’t attend the meeting?’

“Oh right! There was a meeting,” Y/n gasped. “I’m sure Oyakata would understand. Well..”

^ ^ ^ ^ ^

Giyu crossed his arms in disbelief at the new Pillar’s excuse of her absence, who admitted she forgot about the meeting and unintentionally did a—

’No crow, no show.’

The Water Pillar was quite flabbergasted.

Poya and his crow cawed at each other as they waited for Giyu for his response, hopping along and following the man who casually walked through the estate’s garden. It was an unusual sight to the passersby, seeing the man who was usually disliked by animals of all kinds, to be accompanied by two crows. 

And they seemed to be enjoying his presence.

“What in the hell?” Sanemi being one of them to witness such phenomenon grumbled to himself, annoyed by the racket the crows were making on such a peaceful day. 

Kyoujurou approached the raven-haired man, curiously eyeing the crows for a quick second before he spoke to Giyu. 

“Oyakata-sama requests for your presence.”

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 

Y/n scoffed, “How could this guy scold me through Poya? Who the hell does he think he is doing that after figuring I’m a Pillar? I’ve no message to relay, just shit on him, Poya.”

Poya loudly refused.

With a nasally voice, she mimicked what the man told her while walked to the direction opposite of the Butterfly Estate, being assigned on a last minute mission as soon as she was three towns away from home. “‘You need to be more responsible as a Pillar. If you can’t attend a single meeting and call it a no crow, no show, then you don’t deserve to be one.’”

“It’s not my fault. Whatever! Go, Poya! Shit on him!” 

And once again, the bird refused.