#she’d have still done the tours of the schools

[steddieas-shegoes]

Steve and Eddie go through the whole adoption process in 1996, despite how difficult it was to find somewhere willing to help them at all and despite their conflicted feelings on adoption.

The way they saw it though, providing a loving home for a child who needed one was better than the alternative. Eddie had enough experience with temporary foster homes to know stability was better than constant moving and questionable foster parents.

They get a foster placement almost immediately, a six year old girl named Amelia. She’s quiet, but not in a way that worries them. She’s very focused, and enjoys going to school more than any regular children’s hobbies. Neither of them know what to do with that other than keep encouraging it.

She stays for months, months turn into a year, and the agency finally gives them the go ahead to complete the adoption process.

But they don’t do anything without talking to Amelia.

She’s happy there, her therapist signs off on it immediately and explains that Amelia has shown more personality development and less signs of trauma with them than she had even living at home. Not to mention they actually brought her to appointments, unlike her previous guardians.

To celebrate, they throw a party with all their friends and family and tell Amelia she can invite anyone from school she wants. She invites everyone.

Turns out their daughter is a social butterfly and is friends with everyone.

At the party, Eddie pulls out his guitar, plays a bunch of popular kid-friendly songs after a very scathing look from Steve as a reminder to behave.

Amelia walks over to him after a few songs, on a sugar high like he’d never seen on her before, and asks to play the guitar.

He’s hesitant, but not because he’s still protective of his guitars, more because he doesn’t want her to embarrass herself in front of her friends. Kids are cruel, even and especially at seven, and the last thing he wants is this to be the thing that kids talk about for the next ten years.

She sits on the couch and holds it, arranging her fingers…correctly. Eddie watches.

Steve is watching from across the room.

She starts strumming, very quietly at first, not as confident as she’d been a moment ago. And then she starts really playing.

It’s one of the songs Eddie wrote. He played it for the last four months nonstop as he perfected it, and she’d apparently been watching.

Eddie’s jaw is on the floor and he quickly looks over to Steve, who has a similar look of surprise on his face.

He doesn’t interrupt her. She makes it through the entire song.

She looks up.

“When did you learn to play guitar?” Eddie asks.

“When I was watching you.”

“But have you played before tonight?”

Amelia shook her head, looking down. “Didn’t wanna touch it without asking.”

Eddie pulls the guitar from her hands and sets it aside, then pulls her into his lap and hugs her. Steve sits down on the couch next to them, hand on her back.

“You can always ask, sweetie. And if you’re this interested and this natural, we can buy you your own guitar if you want. I didn’t think you were interested in playing.”

“I wanna be like you,” Amelia admitted against his shoulder.

Eddie was done for. He looked at Steve, half-panicked, trying not to cry in front of these people, but Steve wasn’t faring any better.

“Then we can go get you a guitar tomorrow. You can get your own picks, too. They might even have purple ones.”

“Can I have red? Like yours?”

“Of course, sweetie.”

It only took them two days after that to realize she could play by ear, just like Eddie.

And then it only took another day after that to realize she had taught herself to read music too.

They spent hours and hours every week playing together while Steve cooked dinner or checked her homework or just watched them.

When Eddie’s band decided to record another album and go on tour when Amelia was 12, Eddie insisted that she get to be on it.

She ended up helping write one of their songs, played on the track on the album, and with a lot of work, convinced Steve to let them homeschool her for the entire 8 months they’d be on tour so she could perform on stage with her dad.

“Can’t believe she’s not even genetically yours. Are you sure you didn’t have an affair?” Steve asked the night before they were leaving for Europe.

“When would I have had an affair? I came back to the tour bus or hotel with you every single night,” Eddie kissed him softly. “She’s amazing, huh?”

“She is. What happens when she wants to be a full blown rockstar like her dad too?”

“Then we make sure she’s protected and has good people around her like I have. She could be a rockstar easily. She’s got the talent and the presence,” Eddie smiled. “And she’s got me to make sure no one takes advantage of her. But she’s only 12. We’ve got time to worry about that later.”

“You’re bringing her onstage every single night all over the world for the next eight months, baby. I think later is now.”

Eddie sighed. “She’s gonna blow them all away. I’m proud of her. Let’s focus on that for now.”

And she did blow everyone away. The fans and the media had nothing but good things to say, and Steve didn’t have to go into overprotective mom mode at all until she was 15 and signing a record deal of her own.

But between Eddie and him, the entire industry knew better than to fuck with her or them.

They made rules, of course. School still came first, she still had required family events to be at, she still had regular friends at home. She wasn’t allowed at any parties, not even the events for award ceremonies.

But she didn’t really need those rules. She had no interest in parties or abandoning her friends or family, and she was a straight A student who still had hopes of getting into Brown for Journalism like her Aunt Nancy. She had a passion for music and wanted to share it, but not at the cost of the rest of her life.

And Eddie and Steve did everything they could to make sure she got to have everything. That’s what they’d promised her from day one.

[cupidsdolll]

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; best friend!harry styles x best friend!fem!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 2.8k

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲; harry’s always been there to lend a listening ear to his best friend. he shows her just how much he cares for her in the best way he knows how.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬; childhood friends to lovers, just fluff.

Y/N and Harry have been friends for as long as either of them can remember, all they can remember is that as little kids Harry would constantly come up to her in school and compliment her choice of nail polish. Time seems to blur by after that, the two young kids would spend their time discussing anything and everything that came to mind, the conversations never seeming to dull as they grew older. They stayed close throughout their school years and the years after they graduated, that was until he signed up for the X-Factor and won, being grouped together with four other boys and hence One Direction was born.

She was always supportive of his dream and wanted nothing more than him to be happy, so she happily sat on the sidelines and cheered from a distance. She was always one of the first to get their albums and she would attempt to get in contact with Harry as much as she could, but his rising fame and busy schedules it was hard to find the time to carry out a conversation. Conversations over the phone skimmed down to brief texts to check in, FaceTime calls filled with jokes turned into seeing him on the television screen, he barely had time for her anymore and it sucked.

Neither one had ever thought about the idea of not having the other in their life and now that it seemed it happening, she wishes they’d gotten the chance to talk about everything before Harry left to be a star. It was a big change to try to adapt to if she’s being honest, she went from seeing him numerous times a week and hanging out in her room to only being able to see him through a screen, it’s almost as if he was never there to begin with. If it weren’t for the woven bracelet sitting on his arm, she’d think he’d completely forgotten about her and that’s the worst thought ever. As happy as she is for him, the thought of him never being in her life again stirs a terrible feeling in her chest.

Years go by and it seems like Harry’s trying harder now to bring back the friendship, he’s texting more responses and making conversation while he’s getting his hair done, she expects pictures each time, sending her snippets of the songs they’re currently working on and she listens to each one right before bed in order to feel closer. She watches him grow up through a screen and magazines, his band goes on more interviews and they release more music and they go on tour. It seems as if so much is happening in such short time, and that feeling in her chest is back again when she realizes she’s missing out on all the major turning points in his life.

It saddens her to think about how much information she actually misses out on one day when she’s sprawled out on her bed in comfy clothes, her phone propped up on a pillow as she stares at the screen. Harry’s face fills the screen as she’s on FaceTime with him while he’s getting his hair ready for their tour.

“I still say you do a little ponytail.” She can’t help but laugh at her poor excuse of a joke, she’s been at this for the past couple minutes and the hairstylist has given up on listening to her ideas. He laughs loudly before clearing his throat.

“I’ll stick with my curls. How’s everything over there?” He asks and she sighs sadly, it’s when she has to be reminded that he isn’t here sucks.

“S’fine, I just miss you.” She doesn’t miss the way his face lights up at her admission.

“Miss you too, hopefully I’ll be home soon for a bit.”

More years passed, he came home whenever he was able to their friendship remained the same, while it’s not back to normal - it’s as normal as it’ll get when you’re friends with a member of a very popular boy band. He’d eagerly wrap her up in his arms before greeting the rest of his family, breathing her scent in deeply and he pulls away with a smile reserved just for her. It’s one that’s full of happiness and longing, she know that smile all too well because it’s the same one she gives him over the phone. She’d follow him around as he talks with everyone, only adding her input in when necessary. His family is hers as well, she’d even started making jokes with Anne about calling her mom in which she’d laugh before agreeing in how she sees her as one of her own.

It was the days he left to go back to his fame that hurts the most, a day full of holding back tears as she bids him goodbye with a tight hug and word’s whispered in each other ears. He would always promise to call as much as he can and she would simply nod with teary eyes. After several emotional goodbyes, Harry finally tears away from her and waves one last goodbye and he’s off. He’s off to go back to being a pop star, surrounded by his new found friends and his adoring fans and she already misses him more than ever.

She stayed with him throughout the entire span of his band and when he’d come home years later and said the band had broken up, she couldn’t help the part that was relieved that he was back for good now. He was home and she couldn’t have been happier, well maybe Anne and Gemma were happier but it doesn’t matter, she has her best friend back and that’s all she cares about. He spent as much time as he could with her and before they know it, the friendship was actually closer than it was before. He’d never judge her for her choice of men she’d date and she was always the one to reapply the coat of paint onto his hands.

Years passed and he released two albums, and in the process of writing another one, he was just stuck on a couple of songs. So while he was stuck working on his music, she’d go on dates. She’d managed to have several relationships throughout the years but Harry was always there to lend an ear as she would about horrible they are. He’d always known how a date when by how she entered the house, a door slamming shut accompanied by the sound of her bag hitting the floor her bag and plopping herself on the bed indicates a bad date or an ending of a relationship and today is no different.

He hears the sound of the door slamming shut accompanied by a loud huff as she stomps towards his bedroom. He can’t help but to sigh as he turns off his phone and setting to the side, ready to give her all of his undivided attention. Her footsteps become louder as she gets closer until he can hear her in front of his door, a soft knock fills the space and he quickly tells her it’s unlocked. She barges in with teary eyes and her body radiating anger, plopping herself into his bed and looking at him for the green light to begin her rant.

“Go ahead, what happened this time?” She nods softly before her mouth opens and words spill out of them.

“He’s such a dickwad, Harry. A misogynistic asswhipe. It’s been a month Har and he’s already talking about he wants me to stay home. He barely even talks to me as is!” He nods as he listens, he can’t help but to feel bad for his best friend to listen to her stories about guys that don’t care about her the way she deserves.

He’s heard almost every story in the book and he despises every time she gets excited about a new date. She’ll get happy and bounce around while she asks for his opinion on what to wear. He listens as she rambles on about hopefully this is different, she just has a feeling, and every time it’s just the same outcome just a different story line. It’s always ghosting after they hook up, they take advantage of her sweet personality, or they always assume she’s gonna put out before they even start the date. He knows she hates having to constantly have sex with so many people but in her words, it’s the only way she’s able to have somewhat of a love life.

It seems almost every other week, it’s the same story just different people and he takes notes of all the names listed. He remembers the most recent one, the one that would barely converse with her until late at night because he doesn’t wanna sleep alone, the conversation would linger for the day after in order to keep her hooked just for it die right back out and get her hopes up. All of her stories break his heart piece by piece, it clicks in his head as he holds her on his arms and allows her to let out all the emotions.

He’ll stay up late as he writes down lyrics in his notebook and record voice notes on his phone as he plays with the structure. He needs this to be just right, to portray the story and emotions he has in his head from his best friend. She never once questioned why he listened more intently now and would tap his thigh after she said certain things, would just bask in the moment and care for her best friend after a bad day.

At the beginning of April, Harry would mention how he’s performing for Coachella and offered to take her with him, so she can experience him in concert first hand. He’d beg and plead but ultimately left the decision up to her. He’d never force her to do anything she didn’t want to do, he just wanted to experience this first hand in a futile attempt to show he was listening to every word she said, to show he cares for her deeply and to attempt to make up for the years they’d lost while he was in One Direction.

She ended up agreeing to go, and he quickly bought her tickets and make sure she has the best seats and the best view always, after all this could possibly change everything and it’s important to him that she gets this experience. So they drove over to California, the sound of their curated playlist just for this occasion blasting through the speakers as they drive down the street. Both parties happy as ever as they continue their journey across states, taking turns singing their favorite songs when they happen to come on.

----

The crowd is loud, full of fans waiting to see their favorite artists. The air is filled with the buzz and excitement mixed in with eager anticipation. Harry slowly walks up on stage and the crowd yells, going crazy as he prances down the catwalk wearing a rainbow sequined jumpsuit, catching the light and reflecting it back onto the fans. She watches with eager eyes as he introduces himself, resulting in more screams and she can’t help but to chuckle lightly at his adoring fans.

The show passes, he sings and she’ll sing along to the ones she knows, she’s happy to be able to watch him in his natural habitat. He pauses the show real quick to introduce the next song.

“Alright, we’re gonna sing a new song for you. This is the first time we’ve played it for anyone, so please be gentle. Who in the audience has ever had a boyfriend?” The crowd erupts into loud yells and whoops in agreement, and her eyes stay on Harry drinking him in.

“Who in the audience has never had a boyfriend?” More screams fill the air and she laughs lightly.

“This song is special to me, and I hope that someday it’ll be special to you as well. To boyfriends everywhere… fuck you.” He smiles lightly and grabs onto the mic, the crowd becoming even louder as the beginning chords begin to play through the speakers.

Boyfriends, they think you’re so easy. They take you for granted.

She can feel her heart shrink and then begin to swell as the melody and the soothing sound of his voice flowing into her ears. His eyes are closed as he sings, and she can’t help the tight feeling in her chest with every line. She knows why he was so adamant on her coming to this show and why he didn’t let her hear the album when he finished with it, it’s all clicking with every minute that passes.

You, you love a fool who knows how just to get under your skin. You, you still open the door. You’re no closer to him, now you’re halfway home. Only calling you when, don’t wanna be alone. Oh, and you go. Why? You don’t know.

She can’t help the sob that escapes from her lips, her body shaking at the realization of just how good of a best friend she has. He’s been there since day one and hasn’t let the fame or fortune change their dynamic and she’s never been more grateful. His eyes open and they wander over the crowd until he spots her, teary eyes as she furiously wipes them away in an attempt for him not to see them.

His heart softens as he watches her, her gaze never leaving him other than to close her eyes to try to stop more tears from falling. He can’t help the warmth rising through his body at the sight, he’s proud of himself for being able to write this song so perfectly but he’s mainly proud of her for choosing to wanting to continue dating, for choosing to keep putting herself out there. He tears his eyes away from her to look over the crowd again, smiling softly at a fan before waving at them, their faces match hers and he smiles. He’s made such an impact and the album isn’t even released yet.

The show ends and he runs off stage only to be greeted with his best friend’s angry face, her cheeks coated with tears as she walks towards him.

“This is why you wanted me to come so bad?” He nods his head as he holds out his arms, he knows she needs a hug.

“Don’t want it! You should’ve told me, you fucker.” He knows she’s been bad at expressing her emotions so she doesn’t mean it to sound so harsh. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots his bodyguard standing straighter, preparing to protect him from the emotional girl but he simply holds his hand out and shakes his head.

“M’sorry lovie. Didn’t wanna ruin the surprise. Wasn’t meant to make you cry.” His voice is soft and she shakes her head and laughs.

“Well you did, and everyone else watching was crying too!” Her voice wavers as she yells, her fist coming in contact with his chest so he quickly wraps his arms around her.

“I will listen to you always, you deserve the best. You don’t deserve the way those boys treat you, promise you’re worth so much more than that.” She sniffles as she wraps her arms around his waist, burrowing her face into his chest.

She feels overwhelmed with everything happening, all springing in her face at once, emotions she never realized she had for her best friend hit her like a truck and that’s all it takes for the dam to break, tears flooding onto his t-shirt as his grip on her tightens. He gently kisses the top of her head before she pulls away, her eyes glassy and puffy but full of love and appreciation.

“Love you, Har. So much.” He smiles before kissing her head once more and she sighs happily.

“I can give you the world, it’s always been you. No one else, just you. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.” She nods before her eyes glance to his lips and back, quick enough to see his eyes dart back to hers. The world seems to fade away as they stand in their embrace, staring into each others eyes, in this moment it’s just them.

No crazy fans, no cameras, no loud music. He’s not some famous celebrity, he’s just Harry and she’s just his best friend as they teeter over the thin line. She leans forward slowly, allowing him time to reject her advances and for them to stay friends, but it never comes. He leans in as well, and before they know it, their lips mesh together softly. The kiss is soft, sweet and tender, one that replicates their friendship over the years and the amount of pure and genuine love they shared. She pulls away with a soft giggle and he gives her a gentle squeeze before they head back to their car, hand in hand and both of their bodies radiating nothing but happiness.

He’s never been one to keep secrets, but he’s glad he kept this one.

[https-harlow]

10 Years Later

Summary- You and Jack felt like your family was complete after four kids, but you start thinking about having a fifth baby.

You and Jack had agreed that after your fourth kid, your family was complete. Between Jack’s career and four growing kids, neither of you felt the need to add anything more to your already busy life. 

Of course, as you and Jack got older and your kids got older, Jack’s career started to settle down, with less time spent in studios and on the road and more time spent at home with family. You both still felt that your family was complete.

Over the past few years, several of your friends have gotten married and started to have kids. Since you and Jack had gotten married and had Paisley at 19, you both were enjoying having your friends be in the same stage of life that you were in. It was fun to watch your friends experience the same things that you and Jack had previously experienced.

Out of all of your friends, it was different when Urban got married and had his first baby with his wife. You were happy for everyone, but you knew how much Urban loved your kids practically as if they were his own, so you knew he was ecstatic to have a child of his own.

In high school, you, Jack, and Urban talked about raising your kids together and having similar-aged children. It didn’t work out that way, your oldest being almost 16 and your youngest being almost 8, and if there were one thing you regretted it would be that.

As you watched Urban and his wife experience pregnancy for the first time, you couldn’t help but have a few thoughts about having one more baby. 

Ever since Urban’s wife Lauren had given birth to their baby girl Rylee, you and Jack would often stop by during the day while your kids were at school and today was no different. 

You, Jack, Urban, and Lauren, were all sitting in their living room. Rylee was lying on Jack’s chest asleep.

“I don’t know how he does that, she was so fussy before Jack started holding her,” Lauren said.

“After having four kids with him, I don’t understand it either. Olive was probably our toughest baby, but I swear, Jack would just pick her up and she’d instantly stop crying.”

“I’m going to need Jack to move in for the next year then,” Lauren joked.

“I’ll send him over next time he’s annoying me,” You joked as you leaned over towards Jack, resting your head on his shoulder as you laid your hand on Rylee’s back.

“I can’t believe how big our kids have gotten. It’s hard to believe that they were all this small,” Jack said.

“I was just thinking about that at Georgia’s school play. I met her when she was six months old, it’s so crazy to think that was seven and a half years ago,” Lauren said.

“Like, the little girl you brought home to our old apartment at 19 is learning to drive. It felt like that would never happen.”

“I don’t even want to think about it,” You said, laughing softly. Jack carefully handed Rylee to you so he could get up to get a drink. Rylee fussed for a minute before relaxing again. “Literally anytime you need a babysitter, I swear I’ll drop whatever I’m doing to come watch Rylee.”

“I don’t know how you and Jack raised your kids while on tour and traveling all the time, it was hard enough just being pregnant, I can’t imagine doing it pregnant and having other kids,” Lauren said. 

“We were 19 and a little delusional, plus we had a lot of help. There’s no way we could have done it without everyone helping the way they did.”

“Do you miss having a baby?” Urban asked and you thought for a second.

“Yeah, I do,” You said, looking down at Rylee and rubbing her back softly. “Especially with everything slowing down. Raising kids on the road was fun, but I think it would have also been nice to experience having a baby without all of that.”

“You could always have one more baby,” Urban teased as Jack walked back into the room.

“I’ve thought about it,” You admitted, “But not seriously.”

“I’m down to get you pregnant again,” Jack said.

“Here we were having a sweet conversation and you just came in and ruined it with your dirty comments,” Urban teased.

It was a week later until you and Jack came back to your conversation with Urban and Lauren. All the kids were in bed except for Paisley who was having a sleepover with her friend downstairs so you let them stay up later than normal. You and Jack had already gotten ready for bed.

“Did you mean it when you said you’ve thought about having another baby?” Jack asked as he sat down next to you on the small couch you had in your bedroom.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m happy with four kids, and I don’t regret not having another, I still think our family feels complete. But sometimes I do think about what if we had a fifth baby,” You said. “Do you ever think about it?” You asked.

“I’ve thought about it, with the kids getting older, and all of our friends having kids,” Jack admitted.

“Would it be crazy to start over though? To have a baby while we also have a 16-year-old.”

“If we can raise four kids while traveling constantly, I think we can handle one baby and a couple of teenagers or almost teenagers at the same time while traveling a whole lot less.”

“You have a point,” You laughed softly.

“Do you want a fifth baby?” Jack asked and you nodded.

“The more I think about having another baby, the more I do want one more, and I’ve actually been thinking about it a lot since talking with Urban and Lauren,” You said, taking Jack’s hand and tracing random patterns on it with your finger.

“I’ve been thinking about it and I do too,” Jack said. “What if, we just see what happens? We don’t have to try, but if we’re meant to have a fifth baby, then it will happen.”

“I like that plan,” You agreed, “If it’s meant to be, it will happen.” 

“I really hope it’s meant to be,” Jack said.

“Me too,” You said, smiling softly at Jack.

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree @harlowslefttoe @twerkforambrose @jackmans-poison @ilovenudy @taniapri @killatravtramp @easternparkway @macey234 @toocriticalharlow @lightsoutstyles @rachxc13 @iknowdatsrightbih @idktbh101 @blossomluvv @middlechild404 @hufflewhore128

[leaawrites]

Meer

Eli Hewson x fem!reader

Summary: a quiet conversation at the beach, based on Meer by Jeremias.

Warnings: fluff, I love a good quiet talk about something, school and migraines have been keeping me from writing so here is this.

Wordcount: 0.7k

Masterlist

Slow crashes were making a soft melody appear in the salt air surrounding them. The sand beneath the towel they were cuddled together on, flew over their skin every time the wind blew it from it’s surface and into the air. No one of them said a word, enjoying the silence they’ve been longing for so long.

With his fingers tangled up in her hair and her head resting on his thigh, Eli couldn’t stop his eyes from trailing away from the ocean and down to her. The one, he was sure, that would stay. His own hair was still wet, almost weighting down his head so he was forced to look at her. He could see the hair on her arms standing up, goosebumps appearing on her body with every breeze flying by.

Eli loved music, he really did. Creating it, listening to it, feeling it. Though sometimes silence was the most comfort one could get. With being on tour the last four months, they hadn’t seen each other as much as they wanted to. Messages and calls not doing the face to face conversations they’d have justice. And when he was finally back in her arms, with his head buried in her chest, her breathing reminded him of the sea. The calm, steady rhythm that made you close your eyes and just forget every bad thing around. With both of them by his side, he had never felt better.

The attention and fans and appreciation was worth the work, every bit of his career was worth fighting for, but he loved not having to fight for something for once.

His hand travelled further down her body, laying just beneath her breast to feel her heartbeat against his own pulse. Feeling it quicken before it slowed down again, matching with his like it’d always do. Their hearts beating as one.

“I never want to loose you,” Eli whispered, almost afraid to voice his concern about the future.

They’d never talked about it this serious. It was always just drunken giggles over wine late at night or little whispers while the other was already asleep in their arms. Having this conversation now seemed almost too serious to be taking a good turn, in his eyes.

“You won’t,” she promised him without hesitation like there wasn’t any in her mind. Like she knew this was what she’d feel forever and how she wanted to feel forever.

“How are you so sure about that?” Burying his hands in her hair and letting them move over her scalp made her close her eyes and snuggled a bit closer to his skin, leaving a kiss on his leg before sitting up and facing him.

Taking his face in her hands she held him softly, her cold cooling the warmth on his face.

“Because, sometimes, when you aren’t home, or already asleep next to me, I can’t help but wonder how your skin would feel beneath mine in seventy years. If I’d still hold you like I do now, in fear of breaking your delicate body because I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as you. I can’t help but fantasize about everything we haven’t done yet and what we’ll never be able to do, but what I want to experience with no one else with you,” she said, not letting her eyes flick away from his gaze once. “I want you, in every of those thoughts. Every thought I think is about you and I don’t ever want that to change.”

Silence settled over them for a few seconds, his hands finding the top of hers and pulling her closer to lean his forehead against hers. His breath, filled with cigarettes and peppermint, flying over her face in the process, the familiar feeling sending shivers down her spine.

“I bet I’ll be all wrinkly and gross to touch,” he said. “Won’t even be alive then anymore probably.”

“Oh, Hewson, I’ll make sure you live as long as I want you to.”

A stream of laughter erupted from him, breaking the silence around the empty beach and melting a part of her. Infecting her too. Making them a mess of love and laughter, kisses shared between the two like words in a steady conversation. A river of love flowing through their veins and making them one of the same.

[justalittlebitbored]

part two: willow tree | remus lupin

part two: a brand new day

pairing/au: marauders era, remus lupin × reader

summary: you've loved your best friend for as long as you can remember and loving someone who doesn't love you back hurts. a lot.

warnings: angst, unrequited love, sadness, fluff, friends to lovers, childhood best friends to lovers. drinking, mentions of alcohol and parties. no use of y/n. slightly jealous!remus I have not specified what you’ve done to your hair so you pick

this part is set in their sixth year

wc: 9.5k

a/n: sorry about the month long wait guys but here’s part 2

series masterlist main masterlist

“Thank god we’re dorm mates this year.”

Lily was pacing up and down the middle of your room whilst you were laying on your bed, your hands under your chin watching her.

It was hectic business getting her to be your dorm mate this year. She was adamant on it, saying something along the lines of ‘being head prefect does not mean I should get stuck babysitting third and fourth years. Absolutely ridiculous.’

Lily being Lily somehow managed to convince the school to allow her to move into yours. You still had the same room though, the best room in the flat in your opinion, you had an en-suite and the view of the willow tree right outside your window; so unpacking wasn’t an issue for you as much as it was for her.

“I don’t think I could handle dealing with those children for another year. And I- you’re not listening are you?”

You were in fact not listening to her, you had zoned out about five minutes into her ranting. She loudly said your name. When you didn’t respond she said clapped her hands in front of your face to snap you out of your daze.

You jumped and began to teasingly console her.

“I am. You were just saying how glad you are to be sharing with me, because I’m so amazing and smart and funny and-”

You were cut off when one of your throw pillows was chucked at you. You crossed your arms over your face as it bounced off your hands onto the floor.

“Rude.” You muttered with a smile on your face.

“I swear that hair dye must be seeping into your brain because you were much nicer last year. Probably would’ve offered to help me unpack too.” She teased, referencing the fact that you had gotten your hair done over the summer.

It was a last minute sort of thing, your mum had guilted you into it, deciding to pull the ‘you’re at Hogwarts all year and I never get to see you’ card. So mother daughter bonding this summer had been in a hair salon, but she had also spoilt you rotten with new clothes so you couldn’t complain.

When you had come home that day you had sat in the mirror looking at your self for about an hour, pleasantly surprised by the outcome. You looked… pretty.

“Shut up.” You stared at her blankly, a trace of a grin on your face. You shuffled off your bed and stood up brushing your hands against your jeans.

“Come on then, move your cute little butt. Let’s go unpack.”

—

You don’t think walking into Hogwarts on your first day of school every year could ever get old. It was an enigma, a puzzle that had yet to be solved and it just brimmed with magical excellence. Everything you could dream of was possible at this school.

As you walked through the entrance you could hear shrieks of laughter. You looked up and saw some seventh years flying on their broom sticks in circles above the courtyard. You smiled. Nope, it never gets old.

The first day buzz was hitting everyone, you could see the first years being taken on their tours, their little figures being swamped by the uniform that was three times too big on them. Everyone was catching up with their friends about the summer, talking about what they did, where they went.

The issue now was finding your group of friends to catch up with. You had said goodbye to Lily at the dorms, she had to go and talk to the teachers about her prefect duties saying she’d catch up with you later. You stood by the water fountain near the middle of the courtyard looking around for any familiar heads of hair.

“Moony you’re so tall, what did you do, decide to morph into a giraffe this summer?”

Sirius. You rolled your eyes.

Oh god you’ve missed them. Missed Remus. You hadn’t had a chance to catch up at all during summer, especially after that awkward moment before Lily dragged you away.

She had gotten everything out of you, your feelings about him, just all of it. You had talked so much about Remus that night.

You could feel the dread set in and the butterflies in your belly at the thought of seeing him. But you had to act natural, normal. The way you would usually act.

So you spun on your heels and turned about quickly walking towards the group of boys. Remus’ back was towards you, they hadn’t noticed you yet so you slowly approached.

Once you had reached them and resided behind Remus, you stood on your tiptoes and covered his eyes with your hands.

“Guess who?”

You could feel his hands come up gently grab you wrists, keeping your hands there.

“I wonder who it could be?” He said in a teasing voice and you knew he was smiling although you couldn’t see his face.

You popped your head out from behind his shoulder, initially being hidden behind his back due to how tall he had gotten.

The marauders had all gone quiet once they saw you. Peters face filled with a red flush whilst James’ mouth was open whilst he looked at you.

What was wrong?

You awkwardly looked at your feet before looking back up again.

“Um. Hi?”

You pulled your hands away from Remus’ eyes just in time for Sirius to pick up and twirl you around, his hands on your waist. As he put you down you placed your hands on his upper arms to steady yourself. He instantly wrapped his arms around you, telling you he missed you over the summer before he let go you.

James and Peter had also pulled you in for an individual hug and said their hellos.

Surprisingly, Remus hadn’t said anything yet and when you turned to look at him you found he was already looking at you.

“Hey.” You said breathlessly.

He still hadn’t said anything, you could see his eyes darting around your face his mouth opening and closing. This was really starting to get ridiculous now, you had only been gone for 2 months.

“Remus?” You called his name attempting to get his attention.

The only thing that snapped him out of it was Sirius firmly slapping him on the back, an awkward chuckle coming from his mouth.

“Moony she’s back. You’ve been moping around all summer why don’t you say hi instead of… this?”

This seemed to snap him out of it as he charged forward wrapping his arms around your middle. You curled you arms around his neck as he lifted you up and squeezed you tight, your feet just nearly touching the floor as he leaned back with you in his arms.

After a long moment he set you down.

“Hi. I- wow.” He blinked. “You look… um.” He gulped opening his mouth before closing it again. He trailed off, staring at you for a long moment.

You heard a loud, awkward laugh coming from Sirius before he intervened, stepping to your side.

“Pretty. You look pretty.” He rolled his eyes playfully, his hand coming up to ruffle your hair. “I like the new hair, nerd.”

“Why thank you Sirius. Very kind of you.” You chuckled stepping back and twirling around on one foot, your hair flying around your head.

“You look very pretty too.” You teased him.

“Of course I do, this is a known fact.” He said with a smirk on his face.

Idiot. You’ve missed him.

Before you could could say anything else you heard your name loudly being called. You turned around seeing Marlene and the girls waving you over.

You turned around and began apologising.

“I’m gunna go say hi. I will see you guys later, okay.” You began walking away backwards. “Oh and I missed you guys too.”

You said your goodbyes and spun on your heel and walked towards Marlene, you needed a deep catch up with them about the summer too.

That went well right? Although Remus acted weirdly, you acted fine. Completely normally you hope. You shook your head, snapping out of it has you reached the girls.

What you didn’t see was Sirius and James slapping Remus round the head, their laughs filling the air. His eyes were still on your retreating figure, a dazed look on his face.

“Alright, alright. You can stop staring now moony, let’s go to tutor.”

—

It had only been a couple of hours and you had already fallen back into your normal routine, it was like you had never left.

Currently, you were walking down the main corridor towards to great hall where you assumed you were to meet your friends. You all had had potions together that morning but you didn’t share the next lesson after that with any of them.

You were walking with Alexander, a new friend you had just made in your defence of the dark arts lesson. You had clicked almost instantly and had made fast friends. He was in Ravenclaw and was very sweet. It didn’t help that he was also very good looking.

As you reached the entrance of the the hall you both turned to each other and said goodbye, his hand touching your elbow for a quick moment before you went your separate ways towards your relative friends.

You threw your bag on the table and slumped down in a seat next to Lily, right in the middle of the group. The boys had seemingly settled on the left and the girls on the right.

“Who was that?”

You turned to look at Lily.

“Who was who?” Giving her a perplexed look you furrowed your brows.

“That boy who you walked in with.” She was now smirking at you, her comment had drawn the attention of both groups.

“Oh that was Alexander, we just met last lesson. He’s just transferred here from up north.” You explained this, trying to act as nonchalant as you could.

“Oh, has he now?” Marlene had chimed. Her and Lily turned and exchanged mischievous smiles before looking at you.

Oh my god. You truly hated your friends. You could not wait for Lily and James to finally get together. When they finally did, you’ll make sure that they’ll never hear the end of it.

You could feel Remus’ stare from across the table, his eyes felt like they were burning a hole into the side of your face.

“Urgh, you guys are so annoying.” You complained rolling your eyes playfully.

“Only because we love ya!” Lily threw her arm around your shoulder.

The conversation quickly switched over to Marlene and the boy she had met over the summer, with you alternating talking to the boys and then your other group of friends. However, you could feel Remus looking at you from time to time, his eyes flickering to your face before he quickly looked away.

You felt two heavy hands suddenly make their way onto your shoulders before you were shaken harshly. You let out a screech and put you hand to your chest. Hearing loud laughter you turned around to see Sirius stood behind you, swearing at him you turned your back on him with a smile on your face.

“Move over. Everyone’s favourite person has arrived.” He said in a cocky voice as he sat down next to you.

“Not sure about that padfoot, I’m definitely the favourite here.” James exclaimed with a smirk, his eyes on Lily. “Right Lils?”

She turned and gave in an incredulous look before rolling her eyes, a ghost of a smile on her face. Oh yeah, they are definitely going to get together. The whole group had a bet going. You had bet that they’d be together by the end of the year, whilst Remus, Sirius and Marlene were betting that by Christmas he would finally be able to win her over.

“Right, Jack Fullingham is having a party tonight to celebrate the beginning of the year.”

“Umm, who’s Jack Fullingham?” Peter asked timidly.

“This seventh year. Listen it doesn’t matter, I’ve managed to get us all invited so don’t worry about it. I’m ready to party so who’s in?” With a mischievous look on his face he wriggled his eyes brows.

“I swear he hates you. Didn’t you try it on with his girlfriend last year?” Remus raised his eye brows at him.

“Pffft. That’s all in the past now, don’t worry about it moony.” He kissed his teeth and leant forward grabbing the cookie from Remus’ plate.

“Well then, I guess we’re in.”

You heard murmurs of agreement from the girls. With the boys following quickly after.

“Brilliant.”

—

You had been at this party for about an hour now and it was beginning to get boring.

James had dragged Lily off somewhere trying to woo her and no matter how much the girl denied her feelings she had gone along with his antics. What morons.

The rest of the marauders had been stolen from you by Sirius claiming he needed their help trying to seduce this girl in the year above.

Although, you had seen Violet floating about and you were hoping her and Remus wouldn’t bump into each other because you couldn’t handle seeing them interact, it literally made you want to gouge your eyes out.

Not that that would matter to you, you were friends. Just friends.

You had kind of managed to distance yourself from the party and were sat on the counter in the kitchen, a drink in your hand observing the scene in front of you.

There were huddles of seventh and sixth years together, empty cups strewn everywhere with a massive herd of empty bottles by the kitchen sink.

And of course there were couples spotted around, obviously attempting to get lucky tonight and by the looks of it most of them will.

“So, what are you doing sat here alone?” A deep voice next to you spoke out.

Startled you turned to see Alexander stood next to you, leaning against the counter. He was wearing jeans with a top that fit him… nicely you could say. Well, fit his biceps very nicely.

You were suddenly grateful that Lily had dragged you into her room to get ready together, her wardrobe had been of great benefit to you tonight and you were certainly glad that you were dressed appropriately for the evening. That was made clear by the wolf whistles Marlene and your friend Janie had shot you when you’d seen them.

Shooting him a smile you responded. “I’m bored, been ditched by all my friends.”

“Ah, well they made the wrong choice.”

“Yeah I’ll tell them as much if I bump into them again tonight.”

He chuckled, his eyes darting around your face for a moment.

“I’ll stay with you until then. Hopefully they don’t turn up and who knows maybe I can keep you company all night.” He shot you a cheeky grin, his brows raised.

Was he flirting with you? No surely not. He was him and you were, well just you. Your mouth parted and you’d realised you’d just been staring at him a moment too long.

“Or not. Hey, I saw a pretty girl and I thought it was time to shoot my shot.” He said nervously.

You quickly snapped out your daze. Yup, definitely flirting.

“I never said you couldn’t shoot your shot. Shoot it and you’ll see where it takes you.”

Woah, where did that come from. That was bold. Oh god, thank Merlin you had some liquid courage in you.

Interacting with boys was never your forte, definitely not sober and most certainly not drunk.

You weren’t sure how he was going to react until he shot you a smirk. “I guess I’ll be sticking around then.”

You didn’t realise how long you had spent chatting until you heard the front door slam, and looking around the place was now half empty couples had fallen asleep on each other and the party had mainly moved into the garden.

You had been caught up in conversation, Alex was funny and witty and you hadn’t stopped laughing since he had come over to you. He told you all about his life up north and why he moved down to Hogwarts.

After the front door slammed again you both fell into a comfortable silence for a moment, not really needing to fill the gap. He was stood up at the kitchen counter leaning against your arm whilst you were sat on it.

Taking a sip of your drink let out breathe. Alex moved to stand in front of you, even though you were sat on the counter he was still taller so you tilted your chin up to look at him. He rubbed his arm before he began talking and you were now worried about what he was going to do.

He began to speak. “So, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out again? Alone this time, just me and you.”

Oh my god, was he asking you on a date? He was sweet but you still had feelings for Remus and you didn’t want to lead him on. But he could have meant it in a friendly way, right?

“Like a date?” You said breathless.

“Like a date. So what’d ya say?” He smiled at you nervously.

You opened your mouth to turn him down before something caught your eye behind his shoulder. Remus and Violet had just walked down the stairs hand in hand.

You felt sick.

This was it then, you had to begin to move on. You couldn’t follow Remus around like a lost puppy forever.

Alex was a good guy, and maybe if it all went well he could be the boy that’ll help you move on.

You inhaled sharply before meeting Alex’s eyes.

“I’d love too.” You gave him a tight smile.

“Cool. I’ll be looking forward to it.” He gave you a grin and you could tell he was very happy.

Guilt instantly started to fill your veins as you were only going to be using him as a distraction and you couldn’t help feel disheartened at the prospect.

Your gaze found Remus over his shoulder again. He was now alone and slumped against the wall, he was drunk. You could tell by the way his pupils were dilated and he was staring up at the ceiling with a clenched jaw. He was beginning to slide downwards and eventually was going down o take a seat on the floor.

Just because he didn’t love you back that didn’t mean you had the right to abandon him altogether, and that was the reason you said your goodbyes to Alex. You have him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek as you told him you had seen one of your friends that you needed to look after.

Jumping off the counter you began your trek over to Remus.

He was now fully sat on the floor his head leaned back on the wall and his eyes shut.

You crouched down next to his legs and placed your hand on his shoulder as you should him gently.

“Remus.” He let out a large groan. “Remus are you alright?”

“No.”

You rolled your eyes, he was fine but sitting on the floor was not the best place to be at the moment so you began attempting to stand him up. You wrapped your arm around his back placed your other on his chest attempting to haul him up.

“Remus come on. You can’t sit on the floor, let’s go and sit on the couch.”

“No, it’s comfy here.” He half slurred his words.

“Please, come on.” You tried again and this time luckily he listen to you and began to push his body off the ground.

When he finally stood up he leaned against you full and nearly buckled under his weight. The boy had grown significantly over the summer and wan no longer slightly taller than you but rather towered over you now. As Sirius so nicely put it, he’s a giraffe now.

Managing to drag him over the the sofa, you sat him down as gently as you could but that was quite difficult when he had practically lost control of all his limbs.

You were quite out of breath by the time he’s slumped down on the sofa, you did not have the best stamina and you would rue the day you ever entered a gym.

You sat down beside him and pushed his hair off of his forehead as it had flopped down and covered his eyes.

“How much have you had to drink?” You sighed. He grunted.

“Remus, come on.”

“You’d know if you weren’t so distracted tonight.” He said with a huff.

Excuse me, who had ditched who?

“Distracted with what, huh?” Was this to do with Alex?

“You know with what.” He huffed again and crossed his arms and stared forward, a pout on his face.

“What a big baby. You sad I didn’t give you any attention tonight?” He certainly had all of Violet’s attention but you weren’t complaining about that.

He hummed finally turning to look at you.

“Yes.”

Remind you to never let this boy get drunk again, you cannot deal with his moodiness again.

Letting out a deep sigh you put your head on his shoulder and stared forward, you were too tired for this conversation right now and analysing what it all meant.

You could feel his neck tense as he stayed with his head facing you. He stared at you for a long moment before you began feel uncomfortable.

Moving away from his you looked at him with a glare.

“What now Remus?”

If this boy started again you were actually going to slap him, it was nearly 2am you didn’t have the energy for this right now.

“You’re beautiful.” He stared at you with an intense look, furrowing his brows giving you a small smile. “You’ve always been beautiful.”

You could feel your cheeks burning and your mouth softly part open in shock.

What?

“Remus, I-”

There was suddenly a loud bang coming from behind you both before you heard glass shattering. You both turned around to try and look into the kitchen through the sliver of the ajar door.

“Wormtail, I’m blaming this on you.” You heard Sirius say.

“What, no way.” Peter responded.

You heard shuffling next to you and by the time you’d turned around Remus was gone and you could hear his voice in the kitchen.

You slumped harshly back into the sofa.

What was that.

Remus thought you were beautiful, in fact apparently he’d always thought that. Was this a sign of sorts, was he trying to signal anything to you?

Surely it had to mean something? Boys don’t go around telling girls these things unless they truly meant them.

You could feel your face involuntarily turn into a smile, and your cheeks were beginning to hurt as you stared down at you hands in shock.

He thought you were pretty.

Oh god, he had to stop doing this. Dating Violet and then telling you these things, you had no idea what it all meant. It was just confusing, especially when you were supposed to be just best friends.

Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted when Lily sat down next to you, her head on your shoulder.

“Hey gorgeous, what’s got you smiling like that?” There was a teasing smile on her face as you looked over at her.

Act cool. It doesn’t mean anything.

Well it could mean something. Did it mean something?

“Nothing, just thinking about stuff.”

You didn’t want to mention it and get your hopes up if it wasn’t anything special.

She hummed. You could never hide anything from Lily, she had this ability of reading you the way no one else but Remus could and you could tell she wanted to ask about him since she must have seen you both talking.

But she didn’t say anything. Wrapping her hands around your upper arm she brought her legs up and splayed them across your lap and began ranting about James and his antics.

You smiled.

Of course. She could also tell when you didn’t want to talk about things and knew exactly how to move on swiftly and avoid the topic of conversation. How you went without her for 16 years you’ll never know.

So for now you’ll sit and listen to her talk about James, but you know that your not truly listening, your is mind elsewhere.

But you couldn’t wait to reap your shares of the group bet at the end of the year when she and James finally get together.

Sweet victory awaits.

—

“When is it?!”

Hearing squeals you looked up from your notebook. Marlene, Lily and Mary and sat down around you, throwing their bags on the table.

“Sorry, what?”

“I can’t believe we didn’t hear it from you, we’re supposed to be your closest friends.” Lily said with a huff.

Okay, now you were really confused.

“Hear what from me?”

Marlene rolled her eyes before responding.

“The date. With Alexander.”

There was a smug chuckle next to you from Mary.“See I knew there was something more there than what you said.”

Oh, the date. If you were honest you had forgotten about it until now.

“Yes.” You said in a caution voice. “Alex asked me on a date.”

“Oh it’s Alex now is it?” Lily had a smirk on her face.

“When is it?”

“I don’t really know, I think he said Friday.” Taking a bite of your sandwich you shrugged. All you wanted was to eat your lunch in peace, the great hall had finally quieted down since everyone had now left for the courtyard.

“You don’t know for sure?! This is a travesty. Why aren’t you more excited about this?” You couldn’t keep up with Marlene’s intense questioning. “This is Alexander Cromwell asking you on a date. I mean do you know how many girls are crushing on him?”

“Ummm… no I don’t. I don’t even really know how it happened. We were just talking at Jack’s party and it just happened. I honestly forgot about it.”

“You’ll have to make this up to us later for not telling us as soon as it happened.

At this point Marlene was more excited than you were about it. If she liked him so much why didn’t she go out and date him.

“Wait, how did you guys hear about this if I didn’t tell you?”

“Well, we heard from Lory who heard from Anna who heard from her boyfriend Jack who heard it from the man himself.”

You could feel Lily’s stare on the side of your face. Her unspoken question lingered in the air. ‘What about Remus?’ You didn’t want to speak about it. Which probably wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism but it was the way you were dealing with it.

Thinking too hard about your feelings for Remus could literally make it feel as if your heart could shatter. The line between friends and more than that was so blurred between you. Sometimes he would treat you in a way that had you smiling all week, and making your heart feel as if it could beat out of your chest.

Other times it cemented what you really were. ‘We’re just friends.’ was a comment you had heard him say more times than you could imagine. It was very clear to you when he would ditch you for Violet, or the fact that he didn’t come and see you during the full moons anymore.

You had been pushing your feelings as deep down as you could, but you couldn’t help but feel like this was a what if that would only ever be that. Ironic how there are 8 billion people in the world and you’ve managed to fall in love with the one person that would never love you back.

Letting out a nervous chuckle you responded. “Merlin. That’s a lot of people.” You could feel you face heat.

Lily’s pensive stare eventually turned into a question. “Are you excited about the date?”

It was a good question actually. Are you excited about the date?

Speaking to Alex the whole night of that party was the most memorable moment of the night. You could still remember how you felt when his arm brushed yours and the smiles he would shoot you.

And it didn’t help that he was ridiculously good looking. He had sharp features, a strong jaw and piercing eyes. He was quite the opposite to Remus. Where he had fierce look to him whilst Remus had softer features. He was loud and outgoing whereas Remus was quiet and reserved.

It didn’t make sense but oddly in a way it did. You need to reach out of your comfort zone and grow, and potentially that had to be away from your childhood friend.

“I think so. I mean he makes me laugh and he’s so cute. It’s all just exciting.” You could feel yourself become giddy. Maybe a part of you was happy about this date. After all your bad luck in the romantic department maybe this was your gift for waiting.

Lily’s face scrunched slightly for a moment before it turned into a smile.

“Good. You deserve it.”

You smiled back, ignoring the voice in the back of your mind.

—

The date went well. In fact it went better than you could’ve imagined.

There was not a moment that night where you didn’t stop talking, and even thinking about it put a grin on your face.

You also had had your first kiss that Friday. He had walked you home after that date, said goodbye and kissed you under the willow tree outside your dorm. Hidden under the view of all the droopy leaves, it was almost perfect.

Although it didn’t happen with the person you had wanted it to happen with the most, it was still good. Alex was sweet and kind and you almost couldn’t imagine it have happening with someone else.

Lily had forced it all out of you the moment you had stepped through the door, a smile on your face. Even though she had ruined your night by mentioning Remus. She was till weary of your feelings, with good reason, but you couldn’t go the rest of your life being weary about moving on.

Sitting in the common room, you were fiddling with the pages of the book you were reading led across the sofa, your legs crossed over at your ankles. Your mind had been in the clouds recently, I mean you did have a lot to think about.

Like for example, currently you were sat not paying attention to your book or the conversation your were supposedly a part of.

The marauders were sat on the opposing sofa with Remus sat in the arm chair by your head.

“Hey, stop pretending to read and pay attention.” Your were rudely interrupted from your thoughts by Remus knocking on the sofa closest to your head.

“Urgh if I have too.” You groaned and turned to your side leaning all your weight onto your elbow placing your book down on the table in front of you.

“What were you thinking so hard about then chief.” You hated this nickname. James had given it to you after you had taken charge of your herbology group project. It’s not your fault he’s a lazy bastard who doesn’t do anything you tell him to.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw two hands about to come down on the back of the sofa. They slammed down and Marlene leaning forward.

“Probably about Alex, and their date, and how romantic he is and what a good kisser he is.” She teased you.

She and Lily came around and sat down on either side of you whilst you sat up. You could feel your cheeks burning. This was not a conversation you wanted to have now. You had not told Remus about it yet, you had blocked that thought from your mind. If you had told him all you would done in the back of your mind would compare the night to what he would’ve done if the date was with him.

The shock on their faces was clear.

“You went on a date?” Peter muttered out, his eyes wide.

“By Merlin’s beard. Really? I thought that was just a rumour.” Sirius leaned back in his chair and smirked at you.

“With Alexander Cromwell? You said you were just friends.” Remus finally spoke out.

You finally met his gaze. His brows were furrowed a tense look on his face.

“Yeah, we were. It kind of just happened.” You scrunched your nose with a smile.

His jaw clenched tightly.

“It just happened. How does something like that just happen?” His voice was dark, he was not happy.

He should be happy for you, I mean he has Violet and you had no one. This is something Remus should encourage.

“I don’t know, we’ve spoken a couple times and it was good so we just went for it.”

What was his problem? You chuckled nervously and look around seeing Sirius and Lily staring intensely at Remus with their brows furrowed.

“When did it happen?” His frown deepened.

Fuck. Looking around you could see the awkward expressions on everyone’s faces, you almost wanted to die on the spot.

Luckily for you, Marlene responded instead. “A lady never kisses and tells Remus, come on you should know this by now.”

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Why was he doing this right here, right now.

“Yeah Remus, you don’t hear all about the feathers I’ve ruffled.” Sirius gave his input, you could tell he was attempting to ease the awkward tension and with Lily’s response the conversation moved on from your date.

“It’s all I hear about thank you very much. Sirius did this, Sirius is an ass, etc etc.”

He let out an exaggerated laugh. “What lies, I am a very nice gentleman for your information.”

Everyone began giving their input and you finally started to relax, slouching into yourself and refusing to look at Remus.

His stare was obvious along with his disapproval, and no matter for how long you refused to meet his stare you could feel him looking at you every so often with that frown you knew too well.

This wasn’t quite the reception you were expecting from him.

But you decided to do what you always do, which is ignoring your problems, so you kept your gaze forward.

You wouldn’t meet his eyes and you will most definitely pretend like it was no big deal.

No big deal at all.

—

The year had now passed by quite quickly, Easter was approaching and you finally had the chance to go home soon. Finally a change to get away from Remus.

Things had been weird between you two, there was this underlying tension that you didn’t know how to break, ever since you had started dating Alex.

Remus hated him and he constantly made this know. His behaviour often made its way into your late night thoughts. You would lie under your covers, your hand under your head think about him and he had been acting these past couple months.

The behaviour he was displaying would usually incline a girl to believe that he liked them, and the way he acted towards Alex was intriguing.

It was things like this that would get your hopes up, it would make you believe that there was a chance that he would return your feelings. However, his relationship with Violet would indicate otherwise. They had gotten back to get her around November time and had been together since.

These mixed signals he was sending you made your head spin. It would also cause waves of overwhelming guilt to wash over you. Alex was a great guy, he was smart and funny and you got along great, but there was something that was missing. A spark, a feeling, just something. You couldn’t help but ignore the fact that the thing that was really the problem were your feelings for Remus.

Lily had voiced her concern several times about this issue and you had shut the conversation down every time and ran away. It felt humiliating talking about it with her, especially when she had James in the palm of her hand. She was beautiful and a genius could have just about anybody had she ever wanted too.

It was different, she never had to deal with the pains of unrequited love.

Being with Alex was a distraction you welcomed, he took your mind off of Remus and it was good. You didn’t have to think about the pain of it anymore, it made it easier to bury it deep down. They were different enough that you couldn’t really compare the two, which helped a lot. If you had dated a Remus 2.0 you would not have been able to handle it.

Alex did however play quidditch which was a massive distinction the two boys and you were currently on your way to one of his matches. It was Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw tonight which was kind of a conflict of interest.

All of your friends were Gryffindor, as were you, so you were kind of a traitor considering you were cheering for Ravenclaw. However, this factor did mean that you could never lose, if Gryffindor won your house had succeed and if Ravenclaw won your boyfriend had succeed.

You were currently putting on a Ravenclaw scarf that Alex had asked you to wear, it was his. It was almost a way of claiming you were his and the concept of it was very adorable.

Initially he had asked you to wear a version of the robes he would wear in the matches but you thought that might be a bit too much and tip your friends over the edge, so you settled for wearing his scarves. The deep purple was a bright contrast against Gryffindor’s colours so you stuck out like a sore thumb but at least he could always see you when he was playing.

Lily and you were currently on your way to the stadium, hand in hand you had left your accommodation and were chatting along the way. The group had all decided to meet before hand and walk to the stadium together, that referred to all of you that didn’t play - which was everyone but James and Sirius.

You were currently approaching the meeting spot and you could see Marlene and Mary were already there.

“Hey guys!” They both waved at you as you walking up to them.

“Hey! Where’s Remus and Peter?” Lily had asked in a curious tone. She hated the cold and was eager to get to the stadium.

Well that was the reason she had told you but personally you think she may have an ulterior motive. Potentially her eagerness wasn’t linked to the cold but perhaps for a certain someone that she wanted to see.

Mary shrugged noncommittally. “I think they should be on their way, I mean they’re usually on time.”

“Well they’re here now so we can probably get going.”

You could see the two boys behind her shoulder, so you nodded you chin upwards with your gaze on them.

You all started walking towards them, meeting in the middle and saying your hellos.

“As much as I love this chitchat, can we please go, I feel like my hands are about to freeze off.”

“Alright, alright let’s go grumpy.” You chuckled as the six of you began your trek over.

Remus had coincidentally ended up next to you, and you both walked in stride along the pavement.

“What are you wearing?” He said your name in disgust. He was referring to your scarf, he did this every single match without fail.

“A scarf.” You played dumb because you were so done with this conversation.

“You are a Gryffindor you know.” There was a pointed look on his face as he tugged gently on one end of your purple scarf.

“Because my boyfriend is a Ravenclaw and I support my boyfriend in his endeavours.”

He let out a groan. “But you’ve never liked quidditch, I always had to drag you to these matches before.”

“I never had a reason to go before.”

Remus rolled his eyes so hard you were sure they were going to get stuck like that.

“Here we go again. I still just don’t understand why you don’t like him.”

Letting out a tut he responded. “He just gets on my nerves.”

“Sure uh huh, because that’s definitely the reason.”

He let out a huff and was quiet for the remainder of the walk to the stadium and as you took your seats in your house’s box.

Overall the game was a tense two hours, with the whole school on the edge of their seats. This was a long awaited game.

Ultimately Ravenclaw pulled through and won after the long match, neither of the teams had been able to catch the golden snitch.

As they had scored the last goal you jumped up and let a loud cheer. You heard booing behind you and you turned around to see pointed glares at you. Shrinking in to yourself you gave everyone sheepish smiles.

Well, at least Alex had won, right?

You all had began walking down towards the pitch, attempting to push past the throngs of people.

“Stop smiling, it’s annoying me.”

“Shut up Mary, it’s okay not everyone wins every time.” You smirked at her. She gave you a playful push and you stumbled into Remus’ arm. You looked up at him and he had a deadpan look on his face.

Your name was called loudly.

Spinning around you attempted to find where it was coming from.

It was shouted again.

Before you knew it Alex was in front of you and had planted a fast one on you. His hand was on the back of your head as he gave you a long kiss.

You heard an annoyed sigh coming from behind you and you decidedly ignored it knowing that it came from Remus.

Eventually, you managed to pull away from Alex. He gave you a massive hug, his sweaty body all over you.

“We won.” He had a grin on his face, his eyes sparkling. It was moments like this where you looked back at him and you felt so guilty because you knew that you could never return his feelings they way that he deserved.

You let out a breathless chuckle. “I know, I saw.” Giving him a a big smile you pushed his hair out of his face. “You played really great.”

“I had a special girl I was trying to impress in the crowd.” With a smirk on his face he leaned in to kiss you again.

Pulling away, your hand slid down from his arm to his hand. You see, Alex was a big fan of pda and unfortunately you were not. You didn’t know if it was because of the fact you didn’t have very strong feelings for him or because you just didn’t like it all together but he was a big fan of it.

He loved giving you long kisses and having his hand on you as often as he could and whilst you appreciated it, Remus’ glares on the back of your head every time stuff like this happened was clear and made you very very uncomfortable.

In fact you could feel his stare deep in the back of your head at this moment.

“Alright, alright. We get it you won, no need to show off.”

James had walked up to us in this time and gave Alex a firm pat on the back along the way.

Alex wasn’t the gloating type but you knew this match had meant a lot to him. Why this one specifically you don’t know, but it was something he was very passionate about.

“No hard feelings right, Potter?” He gave the Gryffindor boy a playful grin, his eyes lighting up. He was like the human version of a puppy.

James gave Alex a deadpan look as the corners of his mouth begun to turn upwards. Before he could smile fully he looked down towards the floor and gave a playful scoff.

“Shut up.” He muttered loud enough for us to hear.

As much as the marauders hated to admit it, Alex was a great guy. You knew how much they respected Remus but you could tell they disagreed with his feelings about your boyfriend, and each one shared a wholesome friendship with him.

Your herd of friends were currently waiting for Sirius, the boy had a habit of being late. Everywhere. His habit normally had something to do with a girl, and if he was late after a quidditch match it was definitely to do with a girl. He was seeing someone called Marcy at the moment and your top guess was that he was caught up with her.

“So did you want to do something now, or later?” You looked back at Alex after you had finished scanning your surroundings.

You were both currently holding both of each others hands, with him leaning back and forth into you and away from you, whilst his bag was on the ground next to you.

Looking up at him you gave him a shrug and kissed your teeth before responding.

“I don’t really know, what do you want to do?”

“It’s up to you.”

This boy. He knew exactly what he was doing.

“Don’t do this to me.” He smirked at you whilst his thumbs began rubbing along the sides of your hands in a calming motion.

“What ever you want to do is good.”

“Stop, you know how indecisive I am, I can’t decide. I don’t mind so you pick, please.”

Furrowing your brows you scrunched your nose and looked at him whilst tilting your head.

After a moment of you both staring each other down he smiled and began to tut at you.

“Fineee. I’ll choose, you know it’s very tiring having to hold the weight of these decisions everytime.”

“Shush now.”

“I’m sorry.” He leaned in and pecked your lips. “We can go to a restaurant and grab some food now?”

You quietly let out a long hum and furrowed your brows.

“Okay. Or we can go back to yours, watch a movie and order food in. Ares can go grab it.”

This time you let out a short hum and smiled. Ares was Alex’s owl, you loved that little guy. Particularly, when he would travel all the way for the city to get you food and come back.

“Alright.” He pulled you in for a hug and wrapped his arms tightly around your shoulders, pinning your arms to your sides and reducing a majority of your movement. “And you say I make all the decisions in this relationship.” He kissed the top of your head.

You scoffed and pulled away from him before smacking his chest with the back of your hand.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s a two way street lady, what just happened here then, right now.”

He had a point. But technically without him giving you the options you couldn’t have mutually decided which one you wanted to do.

“It was a mutual agreement, you ass.”

You let out a loud, dramatic breathe before playfully rolling your eyes. Leaning down you grabbed his bag and shoved it into his chest and stepped away from him before turning around to speak to everyone else.

“Umm, we’re going home. So we’ll see you guys tomorrow, right?”

Raising your eyebrows you let out a meek smile. Firstly, because Lily will hate you for ‘leaving her here alone with these idiots’, aka James Potter, alone.

Secondly, because you cannot stand to see Katie Jelson pine after Remus. She had recently began to tag along with your group when Remus was there and Merlin, she looked at him like he had hung the stars in the sky.

Is that how you look at him- looked at him. Reflecting back on your fifth year it must have been so obvious. All you could think about was if he pretended to not know about and ignore your feelings for him like he was doing to Katie.

Did he also complain about you to the marauders as he was doing with Katie.

It was humiliating, looking back there was no way he couldn’t have known. At least you had Alex this year as a distraction so help you move away from your love for your childhood friend.

You felt terrible, leading the boy on. It was selfish and you were a horrible person, and you knew that. Lily knew that.

But you ignored it, you ignored the guilty feeling when he smiled at you. The nagging voice in the back of your head when he kissed you. And you too, like Remus, pretended you didn’t notice. It was easier than having to acknowledge the harsh realities of his non existent feelings for you.

“I’m sorry, what do you mean your going home?” Lily instantly gave her disappointed gaze, God you felt sorry for her future children if they had to deal with that. At least you could bond with your future nieces and nephews about it, hey?

“Alex is really tired from the game- ” Said person pinched your hip as he knew you were lying. “-so we’re going to watch a movie and get some food in.”

Caught in a staring match with her you didn’t see Sirius walk up next to you.

“Aw yes. I don’t think I could go another second out here, ordering food in sounds like a great idea.”

His hair was ruffled and he had a suspicious red mark beginning to form behind his ear that you, and you assumed Alex, could see whilst stood next to him.

“No, Sirius it was just-” Alex joined in and began to defend your plans together.

“No it sounds like a great plan, let’s go.”

Remus had interrupted you and when you looked towards him, he was already looking at you. Well rather he had his hard gaze directed towards your boyfriends hand on you hip.

Again no matter how long you had been with Alex, Remus would always find be moody and find something to glare at. Alex however, no matter how hard you tried to avoid the pda in front of your fellow werewolf, would always end up doing something to piss Remus off.

It was an endless cycle. Frankly, you couldn’t tell which one of them started it and you didn’t want to have to have to choose between because you knew your answer.

You knew who you would pick.

You didn’t even have to think about it.

Both of you began protesting telling your friends it was okay, they really didn’t have to join.

Lily gave you a smug smile. “Nonsense, I’ve gotten quite tired of not spending any time with my best friend.”

“Lily.”

“Alright everyone let’s go. Our humble abode awaits.”

—

Looking back on that night, it had been a weird one.

Lily and Remus had both been acting particularly weird and you couldn’t tell why - for either of them.

Neither of them would let you or Alex retreat to your room, both adamant on keeping you in the living room with everyone else.

Remus specifically was very against it, you don’t know why. You and Alex weren’t going to do anything in particular in your bedroom, but anytime you got up his gaze would dart to your conjoined hands and his jaw would clench before protesting.

You were both just tired and wanted to sleep, he had had a long match and well you, you were literally just tired. There was no funny business happening there.

Anyways that long night had since passed and it was the beginning of summer.

The summer before your last year at Hogwarts and the nostalgia had began to hit you. You were currently sat on a rock on the side of the hill you and your friends were on.

The sun was beginning to set and the view. Well, you had never in your life ever seen anything so gorgeous.

You took a deep breath in before exhaling slowly, shutting your eyes for a moment.

It has been a long year, one that you’d hoped to forget. With Alex and Remus’ weird rivalry and then Remus’ fangirls. Lily’s weird behaviour and well… really just everything.

You heard soft steps moving towards you as some one situated themselves next to you.

“Hey.”

It was Remus, you could tell from his deep voice.

“Hi.”

You kept your eyes closed.

“Whatcha doing here, by yourself?”

Keeping a neutral expression you replied. “Just thinking about stuff.”

“About what?”

You opened your eyes and stopped leaning back in your hands, sitting up straight. Pulling your knees into your chest, you wrapped your arms tightly around your legs whilst placing your head on you knees and faced him.

“How much of an idiot all of my friends are.”

He smiled and scrunched his nose. Since it had gotten warmer and was now summer he had more freckles appearing on his cheeks, a new one under his eye and another on the tip of his nose.

“Hey, that’s what we were all thinking about you.”

You chuckled and raised your brows at him. “Sure, sure.”

He moved closer towards you and glanced at your face.

“So, where you going this summer? You leaving me alone again then?” His cheeky smile lit up his whole face, all but his eyes. You knew him so well you knew all of his expressions, bad and good.

“Nowhere actually. I told my mum I was staying here for the summer. Needed to spend time with my best friends.”

“Did you mention me? That was probably what convinced her.”

Your mum loved Remus. You don’t know why particularly, well you knew why you liked him, wasn’t too sure about your mum though. But he dangled this fact above your head as often as you could and it drew you mad.

“Yes definitely, that was the main reason why.” You gave him a mocking smile and looked down at the rock you were sat on, scratching your nails on it.

He was the reason why you were staying, he couldn’t fault you for for lying there.

“Shush, you really staying then?”

“Of course.”

The smile he gave you was one of the smiles that made you fall in love with him, it was so pure and innocent. He looked unburdened by the stress of his secret. He looked beautiful.

“Alright then. We can finally do everything I had planned to do last year. Do you still like the beach?”

You answered him and he smiled letting out a laugh.

“Of course, who doesn’t like the beach?”

“Sirius.” You chorused together with a smile.

“The sand gives his delicate skin a rash, you know.”

His comment made you laugh loudly.

God, you had missed this. Your banter had kind of died down the last couple of months, the both of you had been caught up with school and hadn’t had the chance to catch up with one another.

And that was were you both remained for the rest of the night.

Until the sun disappeared and the starts shone brightly you both sat on that rock and talked for hours, your friends leaving you both to your own devices.

It was something you had missed greatly, missed him.

The summer was going to be good. You had Lily and Marlene. All the marauders, Remus. You had to make the most of it all while it lasted.

“Look- a shooting star. Make a wish”

Hours had gone by since you had both started speaking and you hadn’t even noticed the sun go down until the boy sitting next to you had pointed it out.

You closed your eyes and made your wish.

When you opened them again Remus’ wide gaze was on you.

“What’d you wish for?” He asked you this every time and every time you had the same answer.

“If I tell you it won’t come true.”

Then he would complain about it and say that wishing on a star was just a concept, not magic related.

Then you would interject that folk tradition says that shooting stars are when gods have their eyes on Earth; they listen to people's wishes and make them come true.

He would then say ‘God’s aren’t real’, and you would argue that ‘if magic is real, why can’t God’s be?’

This debate then could last hours between the two of you but it would never get old.

Your wish had been that that night wouldn’t never end. Sadly the sun listens to no one and rose again the next morning. However, you had no recollection of how you’d gotten home or in your bed or who had tucked you in.

But you remembered a featherlight kiss on your forehead and someone stroking your hair before you fell into a deep sleep.

And you definitely remembered the smile on your face as you drifted off.

part 3

tag list:

@diorgirl444 @starkluvrr @theweasleyskettle @milkteeboba @blakeblue01 @starqwerty20 @iluvfetuszarry @raindropstearsandtea @katsuniverse @middle-of-the-earth @speedunkle @mypeace4 @garfieldsladybird @welnasynchbest @marauders-eras @4rt3m1ss @aki-chan-20 @poetsneil @stained-tea-cup @hawkinsavclub1983 @spxcekru @stars-havefallen

-

[humblequestvinyl]

mountain with a view

MOUNTAIN WITH A VIEW, EDDIE DIAZ X FEM!READER

APART OF THE ‘ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT’ SERIES

SUMMARY: after one too many late nights, y/n l/n is sitting at their kitchen table, debating if her and her husband's marriage is even worth fighting for.

inspired by mountain with a view, by kelsea ballerini

previous chapter, | next chapter,

lowercase is intentional! wc: 1.9k

warning: angst!!!!! swearing, marriage problems, trust issues (?) if there’s anything i missed let me know!

a/n: AHHH NEW SERIES W EDDIE <33! i'm so excited for this!! also my deepest apologies in advance bc i am so mean to eddie in this LMFAOO hope u guys enjoy <333

“COUNTRY STAR Y/N L/N HAS FILED FOR DIVORCE FROM HER HUSBAND, EDDIE DIAZ AFTER FIVE YEARS OF MARRIAGE.”

the voice of a news reporter flooded through the tv as photos of the former couple were placed on the screen. 

“L/N on instagram asked her fans on instagram to be mindful, and that both parties are fragile, and to respect their privacy.”the reporter went on, before a photo flashed of the h/c girl, “L/N is currently gearing up for her fifth album release; SUBJECT TO CHANGE this september.”

the video came to a stop, and she saw her best friend standing in front of her, with a horrified look on his face, “you and eddie are getting a divorce?” her heart hurt. this wasn’t how she wanted him to find out.

“it was bound to happen buck.”y/n’s voice was strained due to all of the crying she had done for the past two months, with a heavy feeling in her chest, “you and i both saw this coming.”

“i didn’t.” evan buckley’s voice dropped, and y/n slipped the shades to the top of her head, revealing her bloodshot eyes, “never once did i see this coming.”

“this wasn’t how we wanted you to find out.”her voice cracked, playing with the strings of her hoodie, “eddie said he was going to call you about it.” buck’s eyes watched as the girl avoided his eyes, refusing to make contact with them, knowing if she did she would probably burst into tears.

“why did you file for divorce?”

(TWO MONTHS BEFORE.)

STARING OUT THE BIG OPEN WINDOWS OF THEIR PENTHOUSE,

y/n could see the sun rising as she finished making breakfast for her and her stepson, making sure to leave some for her husband in case he came home in time.

eddie diaz and y/n l/n had first met when she was 21, and he was 23, one kick-starting on their music career, while one had just become a single parent to a son from a former marriage. somehow, they still made it work. getting married at 23 and 25,  going from texas, to los angeles, becoming a mother figure to his son chris, and making sure she could still go on tour.

they thought they had it all figured out, with everything working and a fixed schedule.

until they didn't.

so here she sat, waiting for her husband to come home while her stepson got ready for school, knowing she’d have to force a smile, make everything seem like it was okay, and be able to play the part of the perfect wife, perfect wife. it wasn’t until she smelt smoke that y/n realized the toast was burnt to absolute crisp, and was ruined, meaning she’d have to make more.  

“shit.”she muttered, rushing to make more, as she saw chris come down the hallway, and she forced a smile, brushing her h/c hair out of her face, making sure to tie it back.

“did you burn the toast again?”chris asked with a smile, and y/n forced a laugh, nodding before she brought over a plate with pancakes and eggs on them. “unfortunately, i did. i’m making more right now.”

a knock on the front door came, before it opened, revealing carla, and she had a wide smile spread across her face as she came in, and y/n waved as the toast popped up, less burnt than before. quickly placing it on a plate, and putting it on the table, making it so chris would be able to get to school on time.

“you go get ready for the day, i’ll make sure chris eats.”carla told the 28 year old, giving her a soft smile, and y/n nodded, before rushing off towards her room, and grabbing the clothing she needed for that day.

walking into the bathroom after she had changed, her eyes glanced down, seeing a wedding band that wasn’t hers sitting on the counter. 

it was her husband’s.

she felt anger run through her, with a million thoughts racing through her mind. why would he take it off? or why did he leave it at home? did he forget it? did he take it off intentionally before he left for work? 

why did he take it off?

“bye n/n!’chris yelled, breaking the girl out of her thoughts, and she gripped the counter, trying to keep her anger under check. “have a good day at school chris!”she yelled back, and the front door slammed, as she took a deep breath in.

it was a few moments before she walked back out towards the kitchen, noticing everything was put away, except for the burnt toast. opening up her refrigerator, y/n grabbed the butter out, and brought it over towards the kitchen table, before spreading the butter against the toast, and taking a bite out of it.

her eyes scanned back over the mountains as the clock struck 7:30 am, realizing her husband was over three hours late coming home, and had missed seeing his son in the morning for the second time that week.

it killed her. it absolutely killed her that he wasn’t coming home, and she was the one who was carrying all of that weight on her shoulders, trying to keep this marriage going when it was all one sided. she felt like a glass plate, and was breaking into a million pieces.

hearing boots come towards her, her head snapped towards it, seeing her husband eddie diaz walking towards her, before placing a kiss on the top of her head, with no words spoken between the two.  the tension in the air made her uncomfortable. it was so thick that you could almost cut it through it with a knife.

it was a while before any words were spoken between the two, and when they were, they were laced with anger and confusion.

“you left your ring at home.”y/n spoke up, taking another bite of the burnt toast, afraid to see the look her husband was giving her, “and you were late coming home again.”

“i forgot it when i left.”eddie admitted, glancing over at his wife for a moment, before looking back at his plate of food, “and i was finishing up something with buck.”

wrong. he wasn’t with buck, because buck had texted y/n back at five, saying he hadn’t seen eddie since he left his shift at 4am. 

“what? you don’t believe me?”eddie questioned, as y/n got up to throw the toast away, keeping silent for a moment, debating on how to handle the situation, before she shook her head no.

“i don’t believe you.”y/n admitted, placing the plate in the sink, avoiding eye contact with him, and she could feel the anger radiating off of him, “because buck texted me at five that he hadn’t seen you since you left your shift at four.”

she saw eddie freeze, knowing he had gotten caught into a lie, and y/n had seen right through it. he wouldn’t be able to hide whatever he was away for.

“okay fine, i wasn’t with buck.”eddie admitted, causing y/n to lean up against the kitchen counter, facing her husband to read his body language.

“so, where were you?”

“i don’t understand why you need to know.”eddie shrugged, getting defensive, causing y/n to read all the red flag, “it doesn’t matter to you at all.”

“it does matter to me eddie.”y/n spoke softly, fearing of an argument breaking out, but it was enviable with the two. “i want to make sure you’re not sitting in the goddamn morgue.”

“well guess what, i’m not.”eddie spewed, catching y/n off guard, “i’m standing right in front of you, trying to eat breakfast while you’re bothering me.”

“because i want for you to realize that i’m worried about you.”she told him, and she could tell he was dismissive, “i wait up for you every night, only for you to not come home until chris is about to leave for school.”

“and i never asked you to do that.”he stabbed his eggs with his fork, and y/n tensed up, “that’s your own doing for staying up and waiting.” y/n gave him a look as she took his words like gut punches, making her absolutely sick, “maybe you should just stop staying up and waiting.”

“maybe you should come home on time.”y/n shot back, folding her arms as she watched him closely, “to the family you have. to your son.”

“i do!”eddie defended, and y/n shook her head, “no you don’t! for the past four months you’ve been late coming home after every single shift eddie!” 

“you’re forgetting your ring, you’re not coming home on time and you’re distant.”y/n pointed out as eddie brushed past her to put his plate in the sink, and walked towards their shared bathroom, slipping his wedding band on, “there! are you happy now?”

“no i’m not!”y/n exclaimed as eddie started to change, and she followed him, “we’ve been in and out of therapy for the past three years and absolutely nothing has changed eddie. i’m so tired of it.”

“i mentally cannot handle another year of us being just fine.”y/n whispered, causing eddie to snap his head towards her, with a shocked look spread across his face, “what are you trying to say?”

“i want a divorce.”y/n spoke aloud, making all of her feelings real, and she saw eddie’s face fall.

“you want a divorce? all because i’m taking extra shifts to try and provide for our family? to pay for the mortgage for the house you insisted we had to have.”he shot back, and y/n felt her anger bubble over, causing her to snap, “you don’t even pay for the house! i do! it’s under my name and everything! not yours!”

“i’m the one who pays for the cleaners, the groceries, the electric!”she yelled, as the two stood in their bedroom, one that hadn’t felt like theirs in months. “i feel like i’m the only one who’s doing all the work all the time because you’re never home!”

“you loved me way more at 23 than you do now eddie, and that's a fact.”she told him as she brushed past him to pack a bag, “i cannot keep doing this anymore.”

“you’re just like your parents. giving up way too easy on our marriage.” eddie swore, and y/n felt something snap inside of her. “first off, don’t you dare talk about my parents! secondly, i have tried for months to get through to you.”

“you’re the one who never came to nashville when i called you begging to hop on that flight, one i paid for by the way!”y/n exclaimed, zipping up the bag she had packed, “i knew you had the week off and didn’t have chris at all and you still refused to come.”

“i’m done trying eddie.”she finished, before storming past him and walking towards the front door of their penthouse.

“so you’re done?”he questioned as she grabbed her car keys, and opened up the front door, staring right back at him with tears in her e/c eyes.

“this is when it’s over for me.”

[mid-sweettalk]

Memories (Amphibia - Sashannarcy) Rated M

Summary: Sasha and Marcy come to see Anne for her 23rd birthday, after having lost touch over the past few years. While hanging out together, Anne is bombarded with confusing memories and emotions from their past, but a simple drinking game helps her start to make sense of it all.

Rated: M (for alcohol usage, sexual themes, semi-nudity)

-----

The aquarium had been Anne’s safe space for a few years now. She did an internship here during her last couple years of undergrad, during which she’d demonstrated her true love of frogs and educating everyone she could about them. Once she’d graduated, the director basically handed her a job as a keeper for the herpetology department. 

It always brought her right back to Amphibia, being here, even before she’d gotten the go-ahead to remodel the exhibit. She’d gotten almost all of her coworkers to start using phrases like, “Thank Frog,” and got to make jokes about eating centipede stew without it being (too) weird. Sometimes, if she squinted, she could even pretend that the children running around the building were actually Amphibians. 

All this to say that Anne felt a calmness here that she never truly felt anywhere else on Earth after returning ten years ago. Today, however, that calmness was hard to find. 

Sasha and Marcy were coming to see her. 

They’d all lost touch once college came around. Marcy leaving before high school was kind of the beginning of the end. 

(Flashes ran through Anne’s mind of tears, Marcy and Sasha inches away while they were all in a group hug, a hand in Anne’s hair, Marcy darting forward—)

After that, Anne and Sasha stuck together as long as they could before normal maturation sent them in different directions. Childhood friends rarely lasted through high school, anyways, right? 

(Sasha crying—she never cried—and blushing—even more rare—then yelling, panic, a slamming door, the way Sasha’s eyes would dart away when their gazes would meet in the hallway…)

No, it felt weird, how their friendship had lasted through war, near-death, robot possession, and alien invasion, but it couldn’t handle their teenage years. Anne always felt like there was something she could’ve done to save it, that if she could have kept certain things from happening, then maybe they’d all be fine. Maybe they’d still be best friends. 

That was the thing though: she still thought of both Sasha and Marcy as her best friends. No matter the new bonds she’d made over the years, none of them ever compared to what she shared with the two of them. 

And now she was going to see them, speak to them beyond a “happy birthday” text for the first time in years. Anne’s heart felt like it was going to hop out of her chest. 

Her last tour of the day was coming to an end. She let herself get lost in her presentation a tiny bit. Her little Sprig wowed the kids like he always did. Normally, bringing him out would simply give her a warm-hearted feeling, maybe some flashes of memories or imagining how the real Sprig would be doing now. Today, though, it was hard; her heart felt heavy more than anything else, and she was suddenly fighting back tears so she wouldn’t cry in front of the children and scare them away for life. 

“Thanks, frog lady!” the children chorused as they walked away. Anne waved goodbye and looked down at little Sprig in her hand. 

She sighed. Miss ya, buddy, she thought to herself before putting him back in his enclosure. As she shut the glass door, the reflection caught her attention—Sasha and Marcy were here. She whipped around to face them. 

(Finding Sasha in Amphibia the first time, and the second upon Anne’s return with the Plantars. Finding Marcy in Newtopia, nights spent together laughing with the two of them, then the three of them, all falling asleep together. Andrias’s glowing sword sticking through Marcy’s chest—)

Those tears Anne had been holding back immediately started falling. She ran to the girls— women , now—and swung an arm around each of them. “Hi,” she choked out through her tears. 

“Anne!” Marcy said loudly in her ear. “Happy birthday, oh my gosh! It’s so good to see you!” Her voice started trembling towards the end, just like Anne’s had. 

“God, guys,” came Sasha’s voice, ever confident, “you can’t seriously be crying already. ” But when they pulled back from the hug, Sasha was wiping tears from her own eyes with a smile on her face. 

Anne laughed and lightly shoved Sasha’s shoulder. “Yeah, yeah. I just… didn’t realize how much I really missed you guys until just now. You’re both so grown up!” She reached out and placed a hand on one of each girl’s arms. 

(Leaning on Sasha’s shoulder while they watched movies, Marcy’s head in her lap while she played on her Switch, feeling fingers twirling her hair and swearing that a kiss had been placed upon her head—)

“You’re one to talk!” Marcy almost squealed. “Talk about a big-girl job; this place looks amazing!”

“For real,” Sasha cut in. “You’ll have to give us a tour while we’re in town.”

The reminder that this was only temporary hit Anne like a truck. She tried her best not to let the disappointment show—she didn’t want to spoil the happy reunion—but Sasha definitely noticed, even if Marcy didn’t. 

“Hey,” the blonde said, lifting her right hand to place over Anne’s own, “we’re gonna have a blast. It’s your freakin’ birthday! ” 

“Oh, exactly!” Marcy chirped, catching on that something was getting Anne down. “Plus, we’re totally adults now; we have to be good at the whole communication thing by now, right?”

(Marcy’s voice saying, “I have to tell you…” Sasha’s eyes darting between the two of them, the cold air hitting the chapstick that was suddenly on the corner of her mouth—) 

“R-right, yeah,” Anne said, forcing a chuckle and wiping her eyes. “We’ll be fine. This’ll be great.” With both Marcy and Sasha’s eyes and smiles directed at her, it was a bit too much. “Come on, let’s go get some grubs.”

“Oh, no,” said Sasha, “you totally still say, ‘Oh, my Frog,’ don’t you?”

“Maybe!”

Dinner went fine. Anne showed Sasha and Marcy her favorite takeout place–aside from her parents’, of course–and then they went to Anne’s apartment to watch War of the Warlocks while they ate. It was honestly just like old times, although instead of Anne and Sasha falling asleep during the movie, they were all talking through it. They spent most of the movie just catching up on what they’d each been up to over the past few years.

Empty takeout boxes now littered the small coffee table Anne had in front of the futon in her living room. The three of them were on the couch together, Marcy in the middle, laughing at a story she was telling.

“I swear, I hyperfixated on that game so hard ; you guys think I was bad as a teenager? Once I got to college, it got, like, ten times worse,” Marcy waved her hand through the air as she spoke. “I pretty much failed my first semester.”

“Aww, Marbles,” Anne said pityingly. 

“No, no, it’s fine now,” Marcy continued, still chipper. “I went to the school psychiatrist and started my ADHD medication. My life has been so different since then, you wouldn’t believe.”

“I get that,” Sasha cut in. “My ex was the same way; she went undiagnosed most of her life. Honestly, I think you were as much of an inspiration to get into psychology as my own issues were, without me even realizing. It kind of just solidified once I went through my own therapy.”

Anne could barely process anything Sasha said after the word “she”. Her heart skipped a beat painfully, making her breath catch in her throat. “Wait, you–you dated a girl?” she said before she could stop herself. 

(Panic in Sasha’s watery eyes, heat in Anne’s face, screaming, Sasha’s ponytail swishing as she left–)

Shock and confusion colored both Sasha’s and Marcy’s faces. “I… honestly can’t tell if you’re being serious, right now,” Sasha said with a forced chuckle. “I’ve dated a few…? Is that… surprising?”

I mean, yeah , Anne thought to herself. She just barely refrained from saying it out loud and instead shook her head. “No, I mean, I just didn’t know… for sure, I mean. But it’s not like it’s a bad thing, pfft.” Anne tried to play it off by waving her hand and rolling her eyes, forcing a smile on her face. “Come on. Just caught me off guard, is all.”

Sasha and Marcy looked at each other for a moment before they both burst into laughter. “Jesus, Anne, really?” Sasha chuckled. “You seriously didn’t know I was gay?”

Marcy wiped a tear from her eye. “Next thing you know, she’ll be saying she thought I was straight, too!”

Sasha and Marcy laughed, and laughed, then noticed that Anne wasn’t laughing with them. Their laughter faded out as they registered the look of bewilderment on Anne’s face. 

“Wait, seriously? ” Marcy said incredulously. 

(“I have to tell you…” A hand in Anne’s hair, chapstick smudged on the corner of her mouth, Sasha’s crying, shocked face with a chapstick smudge of her own as Marcy got into her parents’ car–)

“I don’t know what you want from me!” Anne exclaimed, trying to keep her tone light but failing to keep the panic from edging in. 

Sasha and Marcy looked at each other again. Sasha looked back to her with a light chuckle, “You mean to tell us that you didn’t know we were both pretty much in love with you? In, uh, middle school, I mean.” Sasha tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, and Anne could swear that her cheeks were turning red. 

“Anne, I…” Marcy started, leaning against the back of the couch and crossing her arms over her stomach, “I kissed you goodbye!” (Chapstick smudged on the corner of her mouth–)

“What? But you kissed Sasha, too!” Anne threw her hands in the air.

“Well, duh,” Marcy said, sitting up, “I was obviously in love with her, too!” Immediately after the words left her mouth, she slumped back into the couch, face beet red. “In middle school, I mean,” she tacked on, echoing Sasha. 

“Wait, really?” Sasha asked surprisedly, eyes now turning to Marcy.

Marcy threw her hands up now, exasperated. “ Seriously? ”

Sasha went to throw her own hands into the air, but caught herself and ran a hand through her hair instead. “I thought you just didn’t want me to feel left out when you said goodbye!”

Marcy sighed exaggeratedly. “Well, now you know that I really just wanted to kiss you both, like, all the time. Happy?” She crossed her arms with a pout. 

Sasha’s eyes seemed to glint in the TV light as she smiled softly at Marcy. “I mean… honestly, yeah.”

Anne could hear Marcy’s breath catch at the same time her own did, and she suddenly felt like she was intruding as the two women stared at each other. She was about to make an excuse to leave the couch when Sasha’s grin turned wicked.

“You liiiiked me,” she singsonged teasingly. “You wanted to kissss me!”

Marcy barked out a laugh and grabbed a throw pillow to swing it at Sasha’s face. “Shut up!” 

Anne let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Things were seemingly back to normal, although the pounding heartbeat in her chest would say otherwise. She turned away to look at the TV and noticed that the credits were now rolling. “Welp, the movie’s done,” she announced, grabbing the other women’s attention. “What do we do now?”

That mischievous look was back on Sasha’s face. “Do you have alcohol?”

Anne never did a whole lot of drinking in college, so this was a fairly new experience for her. She didn’t have any beer, to Sasha’s disappointment, but she did have a couple of bottles of tequila and store-bought margarita mix for when her small handful of friends would come over for binge-watching parties. 

Sasha made a drink–a strong one–and placed it on the table. They tried playing Kings first, but none of them could remember all of the rules for each card. They moved on to Ring of Fire, for which Sasha and Marcy had two very different sets of rules–so, obviously, they played both. Marcy’s version involved one of them dealing cards out one-by-one, and if a card was dealt that matched one of its neighbors in suit or number, those players had to drink for a number of seconds determined by the number on their card. Anne didn’t mind this version; they each got surprisingly tipsy by the time the drink was finished.

Then came Sasha’s version, for which she made another whole drink and placed it in the middle of a ring of cards. If you drew your card and broke the circle, you had to chug the entire drink. Of course, Marcy, in her inherent clumsiness, was the first to break the circle. When she almost choked a third of the way through the cup, Sasha changed it to taking a shot instead of chugging a whole drink; she downed the rest of the margarita, herself. 

Anne liked this version significantly less. 

“ Frog , how do you guys do this so easily?” she groaned before pinching her nose and downing her third shot. She could feel her whole body scrunch up in a wince as the tequila burned its way down her throat. Her head was starting to feel hazy, and she had a feeling that, if she were to stand, the room would start spinning a bit. She was definitely approaching drunk, if not already there.

Sasha and Marcy were both smiling widely. “Practice,” they said simultaneously, looking at each other and laughing. Anne got that weird feeling of being left out, again, tightening her chest. 

Sasha ran a hand through her hair, pushing it off of her face and smoothly leaning on her elbow against the back of the couch. “Okay, I think we’ve had enough of this game,” she said with her words spoken slightly slower than usual. “Wanna up the ante?” She wiggled her eyebrows in a way that made Anne scoff and Marcy crack up in laughter. 

“Whatcha thinking?” Marcy asked before Anne could decide on a response. 

“Truth or dare,” Sasha said with another eyebrow wiggle. 

“Oh, yeah? Not a Scare Dare?” Anne said with a smirk. 

“I mean, if you want ,” Sasha said, “but I’ve found Truth or Dare to have more possibilities for drama since we were younger.” Sasha leaned against the back of the couch and crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow. “Unless you’re more scared of a little truth ?”

Anne’s heart skipped a beat for unknown reasons. “Pfft, nah, I’m game,” she said, instantly regretting her words. 

“Sweet. Marce?” 

“Let’s do it!” Marcy cheered, throwing her fists in the air.

“Okay,” Sasha continued, “rules: we take turns being in charge.”

Marcy snorted. “‘In charge’? Is that the rules-as-written?” 

“Shut up,” Sasha said with a roll of her eyes, shoving Marcy’s shoulder. “Whoever’s in charge asks the questions or gives the dares, okay? Okay.” She sat up straighter, a familiar, bossy energy protruding from her stance. “Once you pick truth or dare, you can’t switch to the other choice. If you don’t want to answer the question or do the dare, you have to take a shot. Deal?” Sasha poured out said shot of tequila as she spoke.

Marcy nodded firmly, and Anne hesitated only slightly before nodding, herself. 

“Cool. I go first, since I chose the game,” Sasha said with a mischievous smile. Anne rolled her eyes, and Marcy groaned in half-hearted protest. “Hush. Okay. Eenie, meenie,” Sasha singsonged while pointing back and forth between the two of them, “miney, mo!” She landed on Marcy first. “Truth or dare, Marbles.”

Marcy rolled her eyes, but looked utterly relaxed, leaning back into the couch. “Truth. Lay it on me.”

Sasha’s eyes glinted. “Who was your first crush?” Anne’s chest hurt.

Marcy just shrugged. “Henry Warbecker. I was four; he gave me a sucker he didn’t want, and I immediately started planning our wedding. Easy. Is it my turn now?”

Sasha’s jaw dropped open, surprised at how simply Marcy had answered the question. Anne guffawed at how her plan for drama had backfired. 

“Fine, yes, it’s your turn,” Sasha said, mildly grumpy but not truly upset. 

“‘Kay, well, Sasha,” Marcy said, giving her own devious grin, “who was your first crush?”

Sasha immediately turned red, and Anne noticed her eyes looking back and forth between the two of them rapidly. Anne wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the answer, seeing Sasha’s reaction. Had it been someone they knew in school, someone Anne and Marcy didn’t like? Well, there weren’t many people they didn’t like, but still–

“God, you’re really gonna make me say it?” Sasha said, half-groaning. 

“Yes,” Marcy said, planting her chin in her hand and batting her eyelashes. “Yes, I am. You can always, you know, chicken out and take the shot.”

Sasha let out a full groan now and threw her head back. She brought her knees up to her chest as she answered. “Fine, if I had to choose, I guess Anne was first.” She leaned down to mumble into her knees, “She asked if I wanted to swing with you guys and I was pretty much done for. Happy?”

Marcy giggled. “Honestly, yeah,” she said, echoing Sasha’s earlier statement.

Meanwhile, Anne was frozen in disbelief. First, both of her best friends confess to being in love with her as teenagers, and now she finds out that she was Sasha’s very first crush? She didn’t realize how long she was sitting in silence until Sasha and Marcy both turned to look at her. 

“Dude,” Sasha said worriedly, “you okay?” Her face was still red, and Anne could tell that she was worried she’d said the wrong thing. “Did I break you or something?”

Anne forced a laugh and shook her head to snap herself out of the daze she was in. “Ha, no, it’s fine–just… surprising. Again.”

Marcy smirked but kept her tone lighthearted and teasing when she said, “Wow, and I thought I was the naive one.”

Anne’s face heated up as she got defensive. “Well, I bet you didn’t know that you were my first crush, did you?” Wow. Anne didn’t even know that was true, but now that she’d said it, it felt right. She’d probably be embarrassed about admitting that fact later on, but for now, she just wanted to one-up Sasha and Marcy.

Marcy’s cheeks turned red, but she still kept a smile on her face. “I mean… you don’t remember telling me, before we even met Sasha, that boys were stupid and we should get married instead? I’m pretty sure that was your response to finding out I had a crush on Henry.”

Anne froze, embarrassment official. 

Sasha chuckled, sitting up a bit from her hunched-over position. “I wasn’t dreaming about that pretend wedding the three of us had at school one time, right? Like, that happened?”

Marcy barked out a laugh. “You mean when we wore our nicest dresses and picked flowers for each other by the playground?”

“God, I hated that dress! I thought that was just what you were supposed to wear; I wish I’d known women in suits were a thing.”

Anne wanted to join in on the laughter. She did; she wanted all of this to be as lighthearted and joyful for her as it was for Sasha and Marcy. However, a lot of these things they were bringing up Anne had apparently either repressed or just had thought about in a completely different light. Until she’d said it out loud, she’d even forgotten that Marcy had been her first crush, if she’d ever realized it in the first place. Suddenly, she was questioning everything she’d ever felt about anyone. 

(A hand in her hair, smudged chapstick on the corner of her mouth–)

When Marcy had given her and Sasha those kisses goodbye, Anne hadn’t realized that was a confession. Had she wondered why it had made her stomach twist with butterflies? Sure. But she’d been kind of distracted by the sadness at Marcy leaving, as well. Besides, that’s how it would feel if anyone kissed her, right?

Well, no. Joshua Ngam had kissed her once, at the Thai temple, and it hadn’t given Anne butterflies; it had made her feel sick to her stomach, made her feel wrong , so she ran away from him and avoided him for years. 

(Sasha holding her hand, not unfamiliar. Anne turning to look at her and questioning why Sasha was so close. Sasha yanking her hand away, panic and tears in her eyes. “God, why’d you have to make it weird? ” Blonde ponytail swishing as she runs away–)

…Was Sasha going to kiss her back then, on that last day before things were suddenly not the same? Before Sasha could barely meet Anne’s eyes anymore, before the only conversation they’d share was a small smile and wave in the hallways?

Anne was questioning everything, now.

“Anne?” Marcy’s concerned voice broke through her reverie. 

Anne shook her head, snapping out of the daze she’d entered. “Huh, what?” she said dumbly. 

“Are you okay?” Marcy’s eyebrows furrowed. Behind her, Sasha seemed equally as concerned. 

“Look, I know we’re joking a lot about this stuff,” Sasha said in a low, calm tone of voice that Anne assumed came from her counseling work. “If it makes you uncomfortable, we’ll stop.”

“Yeah, honestly,” Marcy cut in, “it’s more like it’s just funny to us, now that we’re older and understand ourselves more. We’re not trying to tease you—not too much, at least.” Marcy gave a soft smile, trying to keep things light. 

Should she talk to them about everything she’d been thinking about? Anne’s instinct was to just bury it all inside (again) and avoid it, but where had that gotten her over the years? Here, panicking with self-realization in front of the two women for whom she was now pretty sure she had feelings . Like, romantic feelings. 

Anne could do nothing but open and close her mouth like a goldfish. Sasha and Marcy looked to each other before Sasha made to stand. 

“Oh- kay , maybe that’s enough of the drinking games—“

“Wait, no,” Anne said, reaching a hand out to grab Sasha’s. “It’s okay, I want to keep playing. Just a lot of… memories , today, is all. Sorry if I’m making it weird.”

(“God, why’d you have to make it weird ?”)

Sasha settled back into the couch and gave a small smile, turning her hand over in Anne’s grip to squeeze it softly. “You’re not, no worries. Anniversaries are a weird thing, and ten years is a lot.” 

“We just want to make sure you’re really okay,” Marcy said, putting her hand on top of Anne’s and Sasha’s. “It’s your birthday, after all. We gotta make sure it’s a good one; that’s our job.” 

Anne smiled, trying to shove down her panic so it didn’t show on her face. “I’m having a great time, guys. I just love spending time with y’all.” That much was true; Anne really did miss hanging out with them like this. She’d known that she missed the girls to some degree, but now that they were here, she wondered how she’d ever lived without them. “Now, whose turn was it?”

Sasha leaned back into the couch again, but she didn’t move her hand away from where it rested with Anne’s and Marcy’s. “Well, technically it’s mine again, since Marcy asked me the question last. But you can have a turn, Anne. You’re in charge.” Sasha winked at her.

Anne was just going to ignore how that made her breath catch in her throat, for now. 

She cleared her throat. “Okay, um… Marcy, truth or dare?”

“Hmm…” Marcy pretended to think hard by scratching her chin with her free hand. “Let’s go with dare, this time.” She grinned at Anne, which somehow made her even more nervous. 

“Uhh, I dare you to… to…” Anne’s eyes darted around her small living room, willing some idea to come forth in her brain. “…wear my clothes for the rest of the night.” 

Marcy and Sasha each raised an eyebrow. “Pff, easy . Like, the clothes you have on right now, or…?” She gestured toward the bedroom. 

Anne choked on her spit a little. “No, like, pick out some clothes from my closet, duh.” She gave a half-hearted chuckle. Why was she regretting this all of a sudden?

Marcy shrugged. “Sure thing.” She hopped up, dislodging their three conjoined hands, and disappeared into Anne’s room. 

Anne looked down at her now-solitary hand. She glanced at Sasha’s own and had the urge to hold it again. But it would be weird to just do it out of the blue, right? 

She was staring for too long; she looked up and saw Sasha staring back at her, eyebrow still raised. “You sure you’re good?” she asked softly. 

It was sweet, how much Sasha cared. She was a lot better at showing it, now that she was older. Anne’s heart melted a bit because of it. 

“Yeah,” she answered with a soft smile. “I’m good.”

Sasha smiled back. “Good.” Then, she reached out her hand and squeezed Anne’s own… and didn’t let go, after. Anne’s heart skipped a beat again. 

Before she could say anything else, Marcy emerged from Anne’s bedroom. “Ta-da!” she announced with her arms in the air. “I thought I’d go ahead and get comfy, since I’m apparently wearing this for the rest of the night. How do I look?”

Anne turned to look at Marcy and felt her brain short-circuit. Marcy was wearing one of Anne’s flannels atop a spaghetti-strapped tank top (sin bra) with some very tiny pajama shorts Anne never even wore because of how they bunched up on her. On Marcy, though, they were perfect. Something about seeing Marcy comfortable in her clothes was making it hard for Anne to form words. 

“Great,” Sasha said, voice cracking. She cleared her throat, and Anne noticed a light blush heating up her ears. “You look great, Marce.” 

Marcy beamed before skipping back to the couch. She vaulted over the back, plopping ungracefully back between Anne and Sasha, which made them unlatch their hands to avoid getting their wrists snapped. Marcy, however, wasted no time in grabbing their hands back and placing them in her lap, under her own hands. 

The feeling of bare thigh against her palm made Anne squirm. Looking at Sasha, it seemed like she was in a similar boat. Instead of pausing to unpack this, of course, Anne chose to blurt out, “Okay, Marcy, you’re in charge now.”

Marcy giggled at the use of the phrase, but started pondering her options. “Okay… Anne! Truth or dare?”

Anne wasn’t sure why she was shocked to be chosen; she was the only one who hadn’t answered a question yet. “Uh, truth?”

“Hmm.” Marcy hummed, narrowing her eyes at Anna and scratching her chin dramatically again. Something flashed in her eyes before her expression fell just the slightest bit—if Anne wasn’t staring dead at her, she probably wouldn’t have noticed. Marcy seemed to kind of shake herself out of it, though, before saying, “How many people have you dated over the years?”

Anne let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She’d been expecting a harder question. “Well, that’s easy: no one.”

Both Sasha’s and Marcy’s eyes went wide. “Wait, seriously?” Sasha said.

“No one, ever ? Like, not even one date?” Marcy jumped in. 

“I mean…” Anne was questioning things again; it was fairly normal for a 23-year-old to have not had a relationship yet, right? “There were kind of… accidental dates? Like, I’d make friends with a guy, and we’d hang out, but it turned out they liked me and I didn’t know, and the ‘hanging out’ was supposed to be a date. Do those count?”

Sasha and Marcy looked at each other, then back at Anne, before simultaneously shouting, “No!”

Anne reared back a bit and brought her free hand up to rub the back of her neck. “Well, then, uh, yeah… none.”

Anne just had never been interested in anybody. She’d had Sasha and Marcy, and again, all the other people she’d met since high school couldn’t hold a candle to either of them. Dating any of them just hadn’t ever crossed her mind. 

Sasha narrowed her eyes at Anne. “We’re fixing this. We need to take you on a date tomorrow.”

Anne’s stomach flipped. “What–what do you mean?” she spluttered. “I mean, if those other ‘dates’ didn’t count, why would this one?” She forced out a light laugh, still rubbing the back of her neck with her free hand.

Now, Sasha was at a loss for words. Marcy looked back and forth between them with raised eyebrows. 

“Because,” Sasha finally said, “it–it just does! You’re aware it’s a date, this time, duh.” Sasha went to curl her knees up again, but Marcy refused to let go of either of their hands, so she stopped herself. “Whatever, it’s stupid, forget it.”

“Whaaaat?” Marcy whined. “Noooo, I wanna go on a date! Please, Anne, just as, like, a continuation of your birthday?”

Anne’s eyes darted between the two girls in front of her–Marcy’s puppy-dog eyes and Sasha’s embarrassed hopefulness made her heart melt. Something about it did sound really nice…“I mean, of course, I’m down! I just wanted to understand your weird logic.” She smiled at Sasha and squeezed her hand beneath Marcy’s in reassurance. 

“Yay!” Marcy squealed, picking up their conjoined hands and waving them around. “I’m excited!” She pressed a light kiss right where Sasha’s and Anne’s hands met. Anne stopped breathing for a second. “Okay, I’m in charge now, right?”

Sasha cleared her throat before speaking. “Uh, yeah, Marce.”

“Okay, then Sasha,” Marcy sat up straight, narrowing her eyes briefly at the aforementioned blonde before dramatically saying, “truth? Or dare?”

Sasha rolled her eyes. “I guess I’ll do a dare this time, but you better make it something exciting. That poor shot is just sitting there, unwanted.”

Something glinted in Marcy’s eyes, and Anne got nervous again. “Fine! I dare you… to kiss me.” Marcy got a wicked grin on her face. Sasha’s eyes widened, her mouth dropping slightly open. Anne wasn’t sure how she hadn’t had a heart attack yet, with the way this night was going. “And it can’t be just a peck, either; I mean a real –mmf!”

Sasha leaned forward and used her free hand to pull Marcy in by the neck for a kiss. A serious kiss. Anne stared in awe as Marcy’s eyes fluttered shut, one of her hands leaving her lap to cup Sasha’s cheek. Anne watched as their lips moved together smoothly–was that Sasha’s tongue darting out into Marcy’s mouth?

Anne’s underwear suddenly felt very uncomfortable. She got that “intruding” feeling, again, but couldn’t make herself stop watching. Strangely, she didn’t feel jealous like she would have expected to with all of her newly discovered emotions tonight, but instead just insanely turned on. 

Anne’s hand twitched in the pile on Marcy’s lap, and Sasha quickly pulled back from the kiss with a pop . Marcy’s and Sasha’s lips shone in the TV light–wow, that was still on?--and they were both breathing a bit heavily. (Anne was, too, if she were to be completely honest.)

“Wow,” Marcy breathed. “I wasn’t expecting you to actually… do that.”

Sasha blushed brightly and tried to deflect by rolling her eyes. “Like kissing you is such a hard thing?” She chuckled half-heartedly before shaking her head. “Screw it, I’m taking the shot anyway.” She removed her left hand from the pile and downed the shot quickly, wincing only slightly. She poured another immediately after and replaced her hand in the pile on Marcy’s lap. “Alright, my turn. Anne, truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Anne said before even thinking about it. Marcy and Sasha raised their eyebrows, surprised at her quick answer. “I mean… well, yeah, dare.” She couldn’t really take it back, now, or she’d have to take the shot. Her heart thumped in her chest. “Don’t go easy on me, either.” Frog, what was she trying to do? Where were these words coming from? 

“Okay…” Sasha looked at her suspiciously but continued. “I dare you to dance on the table to a song of my choosing.” She used her free hand to pull out her phone. 

Anne scoffed and stood up, slightly relieved. “I thought I said not to go easy on me?”

Sasha grinned deviously. “You haven’t heard the song, yet.”

Anne’s heart thumped wildly as she stood on the coffee table, careful to avoid the shot glass sitting there. Hopefully, the table doesn’t break , she thought. “Alright, play it, then.”

Sasha smirked as she pressed play. When the first notes to a slow, sultry Rihanna song started playing, Anne’s face started burning. “Seriously?” she said, suddenly regretting all of her life choices. 

Sasha shrugged. “You can always just take the shot,” she sang. Marcy was leaning back with wide eyes and pursed lips as she glanced between the two of them.

Anne took a deep breath and actually contemplated just taking the L for this one. But then, she noticed Marcy’s eyes moving down her body before darting back up to her face. Suddenly, this seemed fun. 

Anne started moving her hips to the slow beat, still feeling a bit awkward at first. After a moment, though, she started moving her arms as her whole body got more into it. She was sure that the alcohol was helping her, here. She glanced up and saw Marcy and Sasha staring, riveted, and felt confident enough to go a little further. 

As she danced, Anne played with the hem of her shirt, slowly lifting it up higher and higher over her stomach. Seeing the girls’ wide eyes fixated on her, Anne got the urge to take the whole thing off–so, she did. She tossed it at the girls before twirling around, and they didn’t even seem to notice, since they weren’t taking their eyes off of Anne. She ran her hands over her body as they watched. Anne had never felt more confident, more wanted, in her life. 

This is what Anne wanted, she realized. She wanted both of them: their attention, their affection, their love. She had probably wanted this since middle school, if not earlier. 

(Chapstick smudge on her mouth, Sasha’s face inches from hers–)

Frog, she could’ve had this all along, if she’d just opened her eyes and not been so close-minded. Sasha and Marcy had both given her chances, and she’d failed them, made them feel unloved and unwanted–when the complete opposite was true, and Anne hadn’t even realized. 

The song ended, and Anne hopped down from the table. Both girls still stared at her topless form, bolstering her forward to do what she now knew she had to. “I’m in charge, now, right?” she clarified.

Marcy slowly nodded, while Sasha cleared her throat and choked out, “Uh, yeah?”

Anne took a deep breath. “I dare you both to kiss me.”

Both girls’ jaws dropped open. Marcy let out a squeak. 

“Anne,” Sasha said, bewildered, “are you… sure?”

Anne laughed, mostly at herself. “I’ve never been more sure in my life. I want you; I want both of you, and I’m so sorry that it took me so long to realize–mmf!”

Mimicking Sasha’s actions from earlier, Marcy jumped up and quickly pulled Anne down by the neck into a hard kiss. Anne’s hands hovered for a moment before settling on Marcy’s waist. The kiss started out simply as lips pressing against each other, but the boldness from Anne’s dance carried over and gave her the courage to press her tongue forward. She lightly ran it over Marcy’s bottom lip, and when Marcy gasped, she pushed inside. Their tongues pressed against each other, Anne’s grip on Marcy’s hips tightening and pulling her close. 

(Chapstick smudge–)

When Marcy let out a moan, Anne pulled away, breathing hard. She glanced over at Sasha to see the blonde death-gripping Anne’s shirt and staring with a mad blush on her face. 

“Is this real?” Sasha breathed.

Anne chuckled and reached a hand out to her. “If you want it to be.”

Sasha slowly took Anne’s offered hand and stood up next to Marcy. “Okay, I see why you were so quiet when I kissed Marcy; I’m kind of at a loss for words, right now.”

“Pfft, who needs words?” Anne said before bringing a hand up to the back of Sasha’s neck. She was shocked to feel the buzzed-short hairs of an undercut and couldn’t help but run her fingers over the softness there for a second. “It’s your turn.”

Anne could’ve sworn she saw tears in Sasha’s eyes before the blonde leaned down to kiss her. It was a much softer kiss than Anne and Marcy’s, brimming with all the emotion Anne had bottled up over the years. 

(Ponytail swishing–)

When Sasha pressed her tongue into Anne’s mouth, Anne couldn’t hold back a moan of her own. Sasha pulled her in by the waist, making her press against both herself and Marcy, since the three of them were still right next to each other. One of Anne’s hands remained on Marcy’s waist and squeezed there, to which Marcy responded by reaching up to play with Anne’s hair, all while Sasha kissed her breath away. 

It was perfect.

Anne pulled away from Sasha’s kiss and pressed their foreheads together. She smiled, and Sasha chuckled. 

Marcy cleared her throat. “Soooo, that date tomorrow is definitely a real date now, right?”

They all laughed, and Anne pulled Marcy in close until all of their heads were touching. “I love you both so much,” she whispered. Tears were definitely streaming down Sasha’s face now, and she felt her own eyes well up with emotion. 

“We love you, too,” Sasha and Marcy replied in unison, giggling like school girls afterward. 

There were so many possibilities for new memories, now. Anne couldn’t wait to start making them.

-----

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think here, or leave kudos and comments on Ao3 here!

[shadowland]

Emmylou Harris interview by Cameron Crowe Rolling Stone, June 19, 1975

Fame Catches Up with Emmylou

Los Angeles – Guitar in hand, Gram Parsons sat in his road manager’s Laurel Canyon home and coached singer Emmylou Harris through the harmonies of the old Burritos classic, “Sin City.” Later, after she’d excused herself for a visit to the kitchen, Parsons grinned proudly. “There she is,” he said, “that’s my kick in the ass, keep an eye on her.”

That was in 1973. Now, two years later, Harris’s first major solo effort, Pieces of the Sky, has done well and her current club and concert tour (augmented by a band featuring Elvis’s guitarist James Burton and his keyboard player Glen D. Hardin) is drawing unanimous raves. But Emmylou Harris, it seems, is the last to catch up with Emmylou Harris. Still a bit dazed over Parsons’s untimely death in the fall of ’73, the 28-year-old singer is only now waking up to the reality of a successful solo career.

“I know what’s happening but it hasn’t really hit me yet,” she drawls softly, curled up on the sofa of a West Hollywood hotel room. Two nights earlier, she’d enthralled a capacity Palomino Club audience that included such luminaries as Bonnie Raitt, Maria Muldaur, Lowell George, Commander Cody, Joni Mitchell and Linda Ronstadt (for whose recent country hit, “I Can’t Help It” Harris provided the strong counter harmony). “I guess it’s just been a kind of long hard road. In a way I’ve been at this for almost ten years on almost all kinds of levels – from waiting tables to playing in New York clubs and not having anybody listen to me, to making a terrible first record for a bankrupt company to working with Gram.

“I suppose working with Gram was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me,” she continues. “There was just something very magical about the experience. It was so much fun to just get up there, sing with him, and not worry about carrying a show myself. Everyone paid all this attention to me and told me how good I was and all that. It was really like being some kind of fairytale princess. Somehow that affected me more than all this that’s happening now.” She lets her words settle for a moment, then decides on a quip. “Maybe I’m on time delay.”

Born in Alabama and raised in Virginia, Harris remembers a reputation of being a “real prig” in high school. “I was considered to be a kind of oddball. You know, always studying and making good grades. Singing began as a social thing. I realized when I started singing at parties people began noticing me. High schools are real hip now, everybody’s cool, but there was a counter-culture in Woodbridge, Virginia, in 1963. You were either a homecoming queen or  a real weirdo. Here I was a 16-year-old Wasp, wanting to quit school and become Woody Guthrie.”

Instead, Harris made it to the University of North Carolina on a drama scholarship. Using free time to play off-campus bars in a folk duo, she lasted a year and a half before applying to the more prestigious drama department at Boston University. “I was gonna work as a waitress in Virginia Beach for a while to get enough tuition money,” she recalls. “But there was an incredible little music scene going on down there. That’s when I got serious about singing.”

Harris never made it to Boston U. “I thought I was going to get married. My first big love below up in my face, so I just went to New York ’cause there was nothing else to do. I was greener than green. I got a room at the YWCA, started going to the Village, playing basket houses [pass-the-hat-clubs] and just . . . hangin’ out.”

In two years of scuffling around New York, Emmylou made some valuable friends like singers Jerry Jeff Walker and David Bromberg. “Besides turning me on to country music, they sort of looked out for me,” she says. “Even so, I must have had some protective kind of bubble around me. I used to walk home from gigs on dark streets at two in the morning with my guitar and never think anything of it. Looking back, I get scared to death.”

Harris’s first album (on the now defunct Jubilee records), recorded in New York just after her marriage, is one she’d like to forget. “I was trying to keep it a secret,” she laughs (ironically, since the 1970 release was titled Emmylou Harris). “I hope somebody in authority will be able to buy the masters and burn them. Everybody involved with that record hated everybody else and I was in the middle trying to keep the peace. It was a disaster.”

Several months after recording, “the worst possible thing any girl could ever do to her budding career” happened. Harris became pregnant with her child, Hallie. “Up until then,” she admits, “my life had been a little too nebulous, I had no clear vision at all. The pregnancy, although it wasn’t planned, gave me something very real and something present to relate to.”

Later, with her marriage broken and ten dollars in her pocket, the protectiveness of motherhood, soon drove Harris out of New York. “I didn’t know where I was gonna go, but I knew I had to get a job and make some money. By accident I got back into music through some friends, Billy and Kathy Danoff [writers of ‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’]. They were still living in their basement apartment with all the cockroaches running around. They were the ones that put a guitar in my hands and ordered me onstage again.”

It was early ’71 when Flying Burrito Brothers guitarist Rick Roberts stumbled onto Harris performing in a small Washington D.C. bar called the Red Fox. The next night, Roberts brought the rest of the Burritos down for a look. They invited her to join the band; before she could accept, the Burritos had dissolved.

“Chris Hillman,” Emmylou remembers, “wanted to come out to L.A. so he could produce some demo tapes. He was really busy at the time. Anyway, I think it probably worked out the way it should have.” The way it worked out was for Hillman to turn on Gram Parsons, the Burritos’ long estranged cofounder, to their incredible discovery. Months later, Parson dropped in on one of Harris’s many D.C appearances and made a few vague promises. A year later, Parsons invited her to L.A. to sing on his first solo album, GP. Their partnership quickly intensified. “It was gonna be a Dolly Parton-Porter Wagoner situation. We didn’t see any need to break up that partnership because we really got higher on what we did together than anything we did separately. I still feel that way.”

It was hard work, she says, that kept her from slipping into an extended depression. “Gram’s death was like falling off a mountain. It was a very hard year between his death and the recording of my album [Pieces of the Sky]. A year of throwing myself into a lot of work that my heart wasn’t really into. There was a lot of stumbling involved. I was playing quite a few bars and was in a real vulnerable position. People felt that they could come up and ask me anything. I used to get hostile. It  hurt. I didn’t want to get emotional around some perfect stranger who had the goddamn gall to come up and ask me something that was none of his goddamn business.”

The subject brings her close to tears. “Gram was such an amazing part of my life. I have so many good memories of him, it seems pointless to dwell on the tragedy of it.” Abruptly, she reaches to turn up the country station already blaring from a hotel room radio. “Do you like Conway Twitty?” she asks. “I just love the harmony on this.”

Pieces of the Sky was almost a year long project in itself. Emmylou for one could not be more proud. With the help of Anne Murray’s ex-producer Brian Ahern, great care was taken in selecting material. “I’m just starting to write again,” says Harris. “I don’t mind the fact that I only wrote one song [“Boulder to Birmingham,’ cowritten with Bill Danoff] on the album. There are just too many tunes that I get off doing and want to turn people on to. I feel very deeply and personally involved with each one, so I don’t miss that writer’s identity of making a statement.

“I think any singer feels that way,” Harris says about choosing songs like the Everly Brothers’ “Sleepless Nights,” the Beatles’ “For No One”and Dolly Parton’s “Coat of Many Colors.” Like Linda [Ronstadt]. When she sings a song it’s really sung. Nobody cares that she doesn’t write; the delivery’s all that really matters.”

Besides a heavy touring schedule and the summer recording of her next album, Emmylou Harris spunkily refuses to acknowledge the long-range future. “A lot of my life has been circumstance. The future just doesn’t exist for me. You’re not responsible for decisions if you don’t make them.

“What do I see in the future?” Harris asks, reaching for the telephone. “A chocolate shake. Hello, Room Service?”

[garbinge]

Opening Up (3)

Angel Reyes x OC Isabeth ‘Izzy’ Flores 30 Day Fic Challenge (20/30)

Word Count: 3.2k A/N: Sorry I missed uploading two days! I've been in a bit of a mental rut and just haven't opened my laptop but back at it with the rest of these 30 day fics :)

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of content. Angst. Trauma. Bad Thoughts. Series Finale Spoilers. Mentions of blood, violence, abuse, assault, murder. Arguments. Heavy topics discussed.

Mayans Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @narcolini @danzer8705 @keyweegirlie @kmc1989 Continuation from Wanderlust (1) and Library Day Care (2)

Despite the summer months being well and over, the sun hadn’t really gotten that memo. The coastal heat in La Paz was still just as brutal in October as it was in June. Angel spent most of his day outside in that heat, but he didn’t mind the slightest. This job brought him everything he needed. Besides the paycheck, the job gave him a place to live on premise. A modest two bedroom cottage that although could have been toured in less than a minute due to it’s size, was exactly what the two Reyes boys needed. Maverick wasn’t exactly in the market for a huge room being only 2 and with the extra cash Angel was bringing in and using to spoil his young son, it would have soothed the desire anyways. It was much better than the house he had been renting before, and now he only paid a fraction of that, only having to shell out for the utilities, not the space itself. The location of the ranch overall felt like he was in his own planet, so far away from the world he used to be in. It was peaceful, it was beautiful, it was honestly everything he could ask for, but it didn’t stop the memories from sneaking their way in. As he’d work in the field, throwing seeds or harvesting things, his mind would suddenly start to sneak away from the task at hand. At first it’d be peaceful, thinking of Maverick, how his day at the library was going, how big he’d been getting. Then it’d move to dinner, what he planned to make or pick up, then it’d quickly go from there to the kitchen in his childhood home, where he’d remember his mother cooking for them, talking to them about the steps she’d take to make the perfect meal, he’d see himself, as a kid, at that kitchen table watching his mother intently, then see his brother, not far off from Maverick’s age on the seat across from him. It’d be almost instantly where the scene of stabbing the knife into his gut flashed in his mind, which would follow by the gurney with his father being brought out, and his mother on the floor of the carniceria. He’d try and shake the thought, bring himself back to the nature surrounding him and his list of tasks. When it’d be time to move onto the livestock pastures, or repairs, he’d be relieved. Those two tasks tended to keep his mind off his thoughts, it’s why he’d always jump at the mention of them.

As he’d head down to his truck to drop Maverick off at daycare, he’d always stop into the main office to get his list first. The de Valle family had welcomed the Reyes boys with open arms. The matriarch of the family, Paulina, always mentioned how her and her mother would gladly watch the boy if ever needed while Senor de Valle himself even mentioned bringing him to the few school field trips that would come to see the farm. They’d often ask him down to dinner on the weekends, and sometimes he’d oblige and join the family and other farm employees. 

Currently he should have been picking up today’s list and making his way down to his truck with Maverick to drop him off at daycare but, today was a little different. Angel had already woken up early to get started on a few things that were always better to get done before the sun was up. With Maverick asleep, and a baby monitor on full blast at his hip, doing the work in the few fields in his backyard was his way of getting a jump start on his day. Until the thoughts got the best of him and time became nonexistent. Angel stood practically frozen as he remembered the blood all over the floor, it became like a wallpaper in his brain, EZ’s voice echoed in his head. “Tell your boy about me. Tell him about mom.” It was then that the bloodied wallpaper in his head turned to a different one, one with more memories tied to of him as a boy. The shop, where he practically grew up, ruined by one instance. He couldn’t help but to worry that what his mind was, ruined by the instances that he could blame no one but himself for. Selfish worry quickly turned outwards as he thought about his own kin, how would he grow up, would he be ruined by the memories of his past, the memories his father gives him? It was then that the crying from the baby monitor pulled Angel back to the weeding he was currently doing. As he came more to it, he saw the sun rather high and it was at that moment, he realized, he was late. 

Quickly he ran back to his cottage, mere feet away and went to the bedroom where Maverick had woken up rather crankily. “It’s okay, shh, it’s okay, daddy’s here.” Angel quickly bounced the boy up and down in his arms before moving to get him changed and ready for the day. His eyes constantly glanced at the clock now as the minutes passed and the later he became. 

His normal entrance into the library of holding Maverick’s hands and lifting him a couple inches off the ground was not possible in this moment, he replaced it with a quick pace so he could get to the children’s section quicker. 

“You’re late.” A familiar voice spoke up without even looking at Angel. Izzy was heads down into some paperwork at the children’s circulation desk, the sign in sheet still sitting on the counter but looking almost full. 

“I know, I’m sorry, I got–” Angel stopped as he realized what prevented him from being on time. “I lost track of time.” He moved Maverick to one arm as he quickly put his information on the sign up sheet. 

“You know, I pass the ranch on my way into work. We could pick Maverick up for you. Even drop him off.” She still wasn’t looking at him, her focus was on the stuff in front of her as she moved a few stacks of papers around and continued writing things down. 

“I couldn’t ask that.” He shook his head, adjusting Maverick in his grip. 

She smiled at that, “Good thing you didn’t ask.” 

“Izzy.” He said as his head fell to the side begging for her to be serious for a moment. 

That made her look up and almost widen her eyes as she took in the sight of him. He had dirt everywhere, his shirt, his face, his arms, and his eyes looked tired and tormented all at once. 

It was instinctual to ask immediately if he was okay or what happened, but she bit her tongue and just stepped out from behind the desk to take the young boy into her arms. 

“I live in La Huerta, right of 286. I pass El Ranchitos everyday, it’d be no issue to add 5 minutes to my commute to pick Maverick up and drop him off.” Her voice was sincere but serious too. 

Angel clearly didn’t know what to say, so Izzy just kept talking. “Look, you don’t have to make the decision right now, I’ll bring him home tonight and you can let me know then. I’m happy to do it.” 

Angel just nodded, still stuck in whatever frozen state his body was in but just when Izzy was about to ask him if he was okay to drive he was quickly planting a kiss to Maverick’s head and moving right back the way he came in. 

____

Izzy pulled up to the ranch to see Angel waiting at the entrance, leaning on his truck. He pointed to where she should park and jogged over to her driver’s door and opened it for her. 

“What service they have here at El Ranchitos.” She joked as she stepped out of the two decade old Xterra. 

“It’s what they hired me for, welcoming service.” Angel joked back and looked over the car. “Nice ride.” 

“Thanks, it was my dad’s.” She hung off the door frame of the car as she looked at it. “Been through a lot but I keep her as up to date on repairs as I can.” 

Angel peaked in through the open door to see both kids in the backseat and waved. Maverick kicked his feet and giggled, waving back quickly at his dad and then pointing to the girl next to him and saying her name a few times. “Abrielle, Abrielle, Abrielle!” 

Angel let out a chuckle. “You guys have time for a quick tour of the farm?” He turned to ask Izzy. 

“Yea, don’t see why not.” She shrugged and closed the door before opening the back seats to get the kids out. 

“You can let ‘em roam. Maverick kind of knows where to and where not to go, Abrielle will stick close to him anyways.” He said as they began the trek up the dirt road. 

Angel showed them the livestock barns, the open grazing fields, showing the kids horses, goats, and cows. He let them sneak into the garden, and made each one of them promise to not say anything because Senora De Valle took her greenhouse very seriously. And after that, he picked a couple strawberries for the kids as well as Izzy. They ended their tour at the general store, which was closed but Angel had a key. 

“Figured, you could grab whatever you wanted for dinner.” Angel lifted his hands up and pointed around the store. “My treat, as a thank you for today.” 

“I thought that’s what the tour was for.” Izzy was already looking around at what she wanted to grab for dinner for her and her daughter. 

Angel just laughed and shook his head, grabbing his own food and then placing a hundred dollar bill near the cash register, which Tatiana, the store manager would have known was Angel’s doing. 

“We can eat up at my place, it’s a two minute walk from here.” Angel pointed up the hill.

Izzy nodded, giving her young daughter a piece of food to hold and eat as she trekked up the hill. 

“Holy shit.” Izzy mumbled under breath as she reached the top of the hill to see Angel’s small cottage, more open fields, and the most beautiful sky as the sun began to set. 

“Ain’t bad, right?” Angel laughed before nodding his head so the woman would follow into the home. 

It wasn’t long until the kids were passed out on the couch, the remnants of their different dinners all over the bar counter where Izzy was currently sitting sipping the last of her soda while Angel leaned up against the back counter of his kitchen, the fridge directly to his right, and the living further out to his right. 

“You want a drink?” Angel used his foot to kick open the fridge, and leaned forward slightly to look in at what he had. “Have beer, wine, water…” He began to name off. 

“Cerveza, por favor.” She spoke so fluently it took Angel by surprise hearing it, he was so used to talking to her in English. 

He grabbed one for himself and pointed to the sliding door connected to the living room. “Sit outside?” He asked, already walking over. 

Izzy followed him, still in awe of the view he had here. 

“It’s pretty amazing isn’t it?” He plopped down on one of the lawn chairs that sat on the small patio deck. “Hard to believe this is my life sometimes.” 

“I get that feeling.” Izzy was nodding as she slowly moved down to sit in the chair and looked out across the field. 

“I’m sorry about this morning.” Angel brought the beer just shy of his lips before he apologized and then quickly brought it to his mouth right after to stop any other words from coming out. 

“You think anymore about my offer?” As hard as it was to not look at how beautiful the sky was, Izzy pried her eyes away to look at Angel. 

“Feel like all I ever do is think.” Unlike her, Angel couldn’t look over at her, his eyes were still looking out at the field, the very field where everything started this morning. 

“Well maybe you should turn that thinking into talking.” Izzy had a bit of an attitude in her voice, not a harsh one, but more of an obvious one. 

This got Angel’s attention. His head snapped to look at her, a confused frown filling his face, clearly picking up on the tone. 

“All I’m saying is, it’s not good to keep it bottled in. The thoughts. You gotta get them out.” She shrugged, casually bringing her legs up to sit criss crossed in the adirondack chair. 

“And you?” Angel matched the tone she had earlier. “Who do you talk to?” 

“God–sometimes.” She tossed her head back and forth and smiled “Myself.” She nodded so confidently. “I journal.” At those last two words she had pointed her hand with the beer in it like it was a forgotten thought. 

“You tellin’ me I should journal?” His eyebrows were furrowed but also raised. 

“I’m tellin’ you,” she mocked his language before returning to her own, “that you need to do something. Keeping it inside is going to kill you.” 

Angel laughed at that. The idea that now, where he was at in life, his thoughts would be the thing to kill him. Not an enemy, not his club, not the cartel, but his own fucking thoughts. 

“You suggestin’ I talk to you?” His voice had humor in it, it was deflection and Izzy knew it which is why she didn’t give in to it. 

“Doesn’t seem like you have many other options.” She turned her head to sarcastically look around. 

Angel smirked again, deflection still coursing through everything in him. “But you talked to yourself, or God.” He was leaning forward now, his hands resting on his knees, almost as if he was antagonizing the girl. “Oh and your journal.” He pointed to her copying exactly what she did earlier. 

Izzy stood up, finishing the beer in a huge chug before turning around and staring Angel down directly in his eyes. “I did that shit because when I came here, I had no one. It was me and my newborn. So yea, Angel, I made due with what I had.” She broke her eye contact and went back inside, tossing the empty bottle in the recycle bin and moving to grab her daughter from the couch. 

“We’re gonna head home.” She stepped back out onto the patio, her bag on one shoulder, and an asleep child on the other. 

Angel realized he fucked up the minute she was getting up. His head was starting to hurt between the thoughts and what just occurred. And now the headache was filled with regret and stress. 

“Give me a minute, let me just put him in his crib and I’ll walk you to your car.” Angel didn’t let the woman answer, just stepped inside and quickly moved Maverick to his bedroom before meeting Izzy back outside. 

The walk down to the car was silent, only the sounds of the birds and bugs as the night started to settle around them along with the crunches of the dirt below them. As they approached her silver SUV, the sounds escalated to car doors opening and the clicks and snaps of car seats and seatbelts. 

“Hey, look. I’m sorry.” Angel spoke up when Izzy was turning back around from strapping Abrielle in and lightly closing the car door. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Refusing to make eye contact she moved from the back seat to the driver’s door. 

Angel grabbed the door as she opened it, hoping his hand resting on the frame would get her to stop for a minute and look at him. “It’s just hard. I come from a place of not being able to trust anyone, trusting the wrong people, and just keeping a lot internal so it’s just tough for me.” 

Izzy turned around now, her body was inches away from Angel, the tension growing immensely as she stared up into his eyes, trying to fully grasp what he meant and was saying.

“My father was killed by a cartel hit squad, the person that killed him was looking for me, because I was pregnant with his child and planning to run away.” 

It was a sentence that lacked any detail at all, it was simply fact and really only said to make a point. Angel was lost for words, he could tell Izzy had a past, but he hadn’t expected it to be that dark. 

“So when I say I get it, Angel, I get it.” 

It was then Angel realized that she already knew, she knew where Angel came from without him having to say a word. She might not have known the names and the logistics but she could pick out the similarities between them easily.

“I was in an MC–motorcycle club, we had a deal with a cartel–worked for them, it ended bad. Lost my family, everyone except Maverick.” Angel offered up his story, similar to Izzy’s lacking all the detail but just something so she knew he was open to talking to her. 

The silence felt heavy and very apparent to Angel after he spoke up. His thoughts racing a mile a minute, was this the wrong decision, should he not have said anything. But then Izzy cut through that tension. 

“Looks like we have a lot in common.” Her face was still stiff, it was a side of the girl he hadn’t seen but he realized it was likely a part of her that was entirely who she was for a while based on what she told him. 

“If you’re up for it still, I’d love to take you up on what you said, picking Maverick up and dropping him off?” 

“Depends.” Her looked hardened even more. “Are you done?” Angel wasn’t sure what she was asking and apparently his face said that for him because she spoke up again. “Is that part of your life done, Angel? The MC, the cartel?” 

He felt sick thinking about it, all the death, the blood, the loose ends tied up. “It is.” 

“I can’t get involved in that again.” Her face had loosened up from his answer, but she still wanted to make her point clear. 

He nodded and then frowned. “Involved?” 

That’s when a small smirk flashed across her face for a moment when she looked down at the ground but then straightened out when she looked back up at him. “Yea my offer depends on if you plan to actually treat me to a proper dinner on your back patio.”  Angel’s eyebrows raised, a little in shock and the corner of his mouth turned up as he nodded.

“Yea, yea I think we can arrange that.”

[mandu-17]

Always been you | Kim Minnie x reader

Part 2

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: Hiii could you do an exes to lovers!au with Minnie from (G)I-DLE please? thank you (:

Warnings: Drinking champagne, one vulgar word, cheating

Genre: ANGST lovedwritingittho!!

Wordcount: ~ 3,624

A/N: just so you know both Lisa and Rosé are NOT idols in this scenario, Rosé is reader’s current girlfriend. enjoy reading and have a beautiful week:)

To many, Nicha Yontararak was known as (G)-IDLE’s vocalist - Minnie. But truth be told, she was far more beyond that. To Minnie, learning languages was a piece of cake. She was even good at whistling. A great dancer, gifted songwriter, promising actress, passionate pianist.

And most importantly, your first love.

Long before Nicha even began dreaming of becoming an idol, the two of you were best friends. Well, more acurately, it was the three of you against the world. Lisa was your shared friend from school. She even helped Nicha and you get together since both of you were utterly clueless about your true feelings for each other. Those were the days, you thought with a melancholic look in your eyes. Careless and beautiful. Everything was way easier back in school. The three of you used to hang out daily after classes, do homework together, watch silly tv shows.

After Nicha left to Korea, nothing changed between Lisa and you. If possible, you got even closer in order to heal from losing a friend. Nicha was incredibly busy with trainee lifestyle and then soon after debuting it was a rarity when she’d have time to reach out to old friends. Lisa stayed in touch with her though. Despite everything, their bond was solid enough to last. You, however, weren’t that strong.

Long distance relationships never appealed to you. Nicha had to accept your point of view, she was aware that leaving Thailand would be equal to losing you. Obviously, the decision was probably the hardest one she ever had to make. It took her long weeks of overthinking and sleepless nights. Many difficult conversations had to be done before the two of you officially said your goodbyes. It was heartbreaking for both of you especially considering how young you were back then.

Nevertheless, it made you who you are today. Everything happens for a reason and breaking up with Nicha was necessary to make you stronger as a person. It led you to your position right now. With a stable job, new apartment and lovely people in your life you really got to forget all the pain you went through during that period of time.

“You ready?” Besides, you still had Lisa.

She never changed, you smiled at your reflection in the mirror. Still had that amusing habit of walking inside your home without knocking. Frankly speaking, she spent around half of her time at yours.

“Almost, yes.” You straightened your shirt as Lisa joined you in the bedroom grinning from ear to ear.

The reason behind that smile was the fact that Minnie and her band mates were currently on tour with few days off in Thailand which presented a perfect occasion for a ‘small get together’ as Lisa called it. She was so excited about Minnie visiting home, she drove in the pouring rain in the middle of the night straight to you so she could pass the message in person.

It had been an adorable sight, her eyes shining so brightly while her whole body was drenched from the rain. Although a part of you was very hesitant about going. You couldn’t remember the last time you actually saw Minnie, sure she was on numerous billboards all around the city, here and there on the tv. But being in the same room as her? Talking to her? And about what? What if it’d be weird? Would it be awkward? Probably.

Truthfully, you were afraid of facing her after all these years. Afraid of what you might feel while seeing her up close.

From what you saw, she’s gotten even more beautiful nowadays, more confident. She grew up to be this attractive celebrity - what if she changed? What if her feelings for you changed as well?

You could go on and on about what ifs, luckily Lisa was there to calm you down. She truly insisted on going. She promised that Minnie was the same sweet girl she used to be. You saw it in Lisa’s eyes. It was important to her that you’d go too. She announced that without you, she wouldn’t go either.

To ease your stress, Lisa even suggested you asking Rosé to go as your date.

Rosé was your new girlfriend, it’d been around three months since you became official. You met her at work as she was sent in delegation from Australia. It clicked immediately. Rosé asked you out. First it was coffee, then dinner, later she needed a guide around the city. Admirably, she was able to keep finding new things she might have needed your help with. Language barier was her most often used excuse. That’s how much she cherished your comapny. After many dates, she had the courage to let you know that she liked you more than a friend. She fell in love, she admitted.

Your relationship with Rosé truly made you see colors again. With no doubt she was a wife material, the sweetest soul you’ve got to known. Her family was also very fond of you. They kept thanking you for taking care of her in a foreign country. It was painfully clear to see how much they missed her. Rosé also never hid her homesickness from you. So when she told you about going back to Australia for her mom’s birthday, your heart jumped out of joy. With your relationship still fairly new, there was no pressure for you to go with her and meet everyone. There would for sure be many other opportunities for that. In fact you wanted Rosé to spend this time while fully enjoying her family’s presence. Only later did you realize that it’d be the exact same weekend that Minnie was organizing her get together.

So, now you were screwed.

Of course Rosé, being the wonderful woman she is, was ready to cancel the flight and stay with you. Sometimes she was impossible. You had to physically drag her to the airport to make sure the gifts she bought didn’t go wasted.

With Rosé away, Lisa became your only lifeboat.

“You look great! How are you feeling?”

“Very nervous, let’s just get this over with.” You sighed loudly.

“Relax, Y/N. An hour from now you’ll be tipsy and just having fun.” Lisa wiggled her eyebrows while dancing with her shoulders.

You did not have it in you to ruin her mood. She deserved to be happy, you wanted to see her this lively as often as possible.

“True, that’s a very realistic scenario.” You raised your index finger up to her while agreeing. “We should probably get going.”

With a giggle, Lisa helped you pack most important things to your bag before you were finally able to leave the apartment.

The contrast between your silhouettes was hilarious, anyone could put an imaginary line between Lisa and you. She walked in happy skips, her hair were bouncing up and down her shoulders - everything about her screamed ‘excited’ and ‘ready to party’. On the other side, you were walking very slowly, the feeling of your heart rapidly beating in your chest made you sigh heavily from time to time. Although, you had to admit with a ghost of a smile, a little part of you was looking forward to seeing Minnie again. A little ray of hope made its’ way to your mind trying to convince you that tonight was going to be eventful.

In the elevator with cozy music playing, Lisa and you were chatting freely about your days when your phone dinged announcing that you got a message.

Corners of your lips raised when you saw Rosé’s selfie - she wanted to show off her newest purchase which happened to be matching Minnie Mouse hoodies.

You gulped thickly. What a funny coincidence.

~

Nothing really changed in Nicha’s family house. It remained looking very classy and elegant. Now the living room full of wooden accents was crowded, especially around the piano that was busied with Nicha and her mom playing cheerful melodies. (G)-IDLE’s members were trying to sing along, other guests and Minnie’s family clapped to the rhythm.

Lisa and you arrived fashionably late, but seeing the heartwarming scene that welcomed you, you thought it was probably worth it.

“Lisa! Y/N! You’re finally here!” Minnie’s dad was the first one who saw you entering the room. His hair got far more grayer, you quickly noticed although you worried nothing after he sent you that same, warm smile of his.

His words made many heads turn to look at you curiously. By the corner of your eyes you spotted few people whispering between themselves, but for you time stopped the second Minnie looked at you.

“It’s been so long since I last saw you!” Her mom beamed before approaching the two of you with her arms widely opened. “Lisa, how are you doing?”

Firstly, she embraced Lisa which gave you a minute to clear your head. It certainly didn’t work when you noticed Minnie not taking her eyes off you on her way to greet you as well.

“Y/N! I missed you so much, how are you?” Minnie’s mom crushed you in a warm hug, she always treated you and Lisa like her own children. Heart of this woman for sure was made of gold.

Minnie’s dad didn’t even let you reply as his arms wrapped around you tightly, it seemed like he also missed you deeply.

“I’m good, it’s very nice to see everyone again.” You smiled at the parents while also addressing Minnie’s brothers. Long ago they all were your family. You forgot how much they cared for you and how easy it was to just be yourself in their company, in their home. For some reason, you fitted there incredibly. They were your people. Even after all this time, you were able to feel their warmth and kindness towards you.

“You grew up so fast. We’re very proud of you.” Minnie’s dad got you melting with his words and that friendly glint in his wife’s eyes had your knees go weak. You wished to keep talking to them for the whole evening, but it turned out you became one of the highlights of the event. Everybody who already knew you from times when Minnie and you were dating, was eager to catch up with you or at least say ‘hi’. It was quite enjoyable, a bit weird feeling overall, but at least you were able to ignore the reason of the whole get together for some more time.

You knew you’d have to face Minnie sooner or later, but the fact that you could delay it brought you some sense of comfort.

She knew what you were doing.

Not only did Lisa betray you and straight up exposed your discomfort to Minnie while texting on the way here, Minnie simply still remembered your habits when being nervous. And now it was hard not to notice the way your eyebrows kept furrowing from time to time or how much you gesticulated while speaking about non-complicated things. So when Minnie finally saw you getting yourself a glass of champagne alone, she immediately made up her mind.

“Long time no see, huh?” The way your whole body stiffed was so visible, she almost smirked.

“Minnie, hi. How does it feel to be back?” You turned around to look at her for the first time this closely. Divine, was the only word that could describe her evenly.

“I’m very happy to spend some time with friends and family.” Minnie stepped closer in order to also grab a glass of expensive drink. She then raised it up to make a small, intimate toast with you.

You gulped at the sudden proximity and how Minnie leaned in to nearly whisper in your ear. She was still using the same perfumes, you realized, feeling brave enough to eventually meet her eyes.

“I’m glad you came, Y/N.”

Nothing changed in the way she was looking at you. That precious glint that was in her eyes once ago, was still present. She smiled innocently, as if she had no idea about her impact on you.

You have a girlfriend, you idiot.

Rational voice came back. Although, it was unachievable to think about anything else while being this close to your first love.

~

It was a terrible mistake to come here.

Wherever you glanced there was a piece of old memories embracing you. Paintings on the wall, blankets, your favorite cups, even the sight of the garden itself was reminding you of your home dates with Minnie. When her parents worked late and she invited you over. Her brothers often spent time with you as well, all four of you playing cards and board games. There were also many times when Lisa joined for sleepovers or long movie marathons.

It was overwhelming. Slowly becoming too much. You felt trapped in your own nostalgic mind with nothing to ground yourself with. You tried so desperately to think about Rosé, praying that she was here with you to squeeze your hand. She was way too good for you. Your emotions that night proved that you did not deserve her.

Your arm was slightly shaking while getting the third glass of champagne and it certainly was not the alcohol intake. That’s when you heard it.

River flows in you.

The first song that Minnie played for you.

The song that Minnie used to ask you to be hers.

The last song she was listening to before leaving Thailand.

It was your song.

You turned to the piano, Minnie was playing it effortlessly. Delicate notes wandering around the room made everyone admire her talent yet again. There was this sad frown on her face. It was killing you. Physically, you couldn’t catch a breath. You felt like crying.

Then you suddenly felt someone wrap their arms around you from behind.

“Remember when we used to dance to this song?” Minnie’s mom smiled against your shoulder blade causing you to relax.

“Beautiful times.” Your hands joined hers on your waist, while she swayed you left and right.

It was often exactly like this. Minnie playing, her mom and you dancing or rather her teaching you how to dance properly. If Minnie’s dad was around he’d usually take photos of you three or took care of the fireplace. So simple yet so meaningful. Just like the embrace you were currently in. Warmth radiating from Minnie’s mom eased your anxiety while soothing you. She just knew what to do. She always did.

You turned around once the song came to an end in order to thank her for the dance. You bowed your head to her before exchanging small but important smiles.

“Y/N, you’re still my favorite.” She winked at you.

“Mom!”

Both of you glanced at Minnie who just approached you. She shot her mom a stern look, warning her not to make things worse. The older woman chuckled.

“We’re not together anymore.” Minnie clenched her jaw.

It hurt when she said it.

“I think I should go.” You saw Minnie’s mom open her mouth. “I’ll just go find Lisa first.”

Hurriedly, you walked over to the couch where, as you assumed correctly, Lisa was animatedly talking to one of Minnie’s members - Yuqi. This emotional rollercoaster had to end. This was enough. Far beyond to the point you already felt like a piece of shit laying in the pouring rain.

“Lisa, we’re going home. Come on.” Your friend eyed you oddly, she was in the middle of a certainly entertaining conversation with the Chinese woman. With her arm resting on Yuqi’s thigh, she was definitely comfortable and not ready to leave.

“The party’s still going, though. Look, Yuqi and I are having a lot of fun. You should join us-” You knew that tone perfectly. Lisa was way too drunk now to go home. She was at the peak of enjoying herself. Thankfully, you knew you didn’t have to worry about her safety that much because it was usually the point when she’d stop drinking and feel the alcohol taken in by now. “I’m so tired. What time is it?”

With a defeated sigh, you glanced at your lockscreen. Rosé’s smiley picture was staring back at you. You were disgusted with yourself.

1:53 AM.

“Almost two in the morning.”

“How about you two stay the night?” Yuqi chimed in with a nervous smile. When you made eye contact, it seemed like she could already feel your conflicted vibe and didn’t want to make the situation worse. As a matter of fact, Lisa and you were introduced to all of (G)-IDLE’s members earlier that night. Although, you weren’t sure if she knew about what your history with Minnie was. “It might be dangerous to go home with this sleepy cat.”

“Yes. Let’s sleep here, Y/N.” Lisa’s eyes shut the moment she put her head on Yuqi’s shoulder. “Minnie will cuddle with you.” She mumbled quietly, so it was only Yuqi who chuckled.

“They’re right.” Minnie spoke from behind you. “I think it’d be safer if you stayed.”

She gulped when you glanced her way. You looked exhausted with your lips pressed into a thin line and furrowed brows, on top of that your skin was very pale. To Minnie, you were perfect. She always admired your physics not mentioning how in love she felt with your personality. Even that quick eye contact with you had her heart racing.

If she could only turn back time.

The very first thing she’d do, would be not losing you. Not breaking up and surely not giving up on your relationship. She’d never let go. You deserved someone to fight tooth and nail for you - sadly, she realized it way too late. That Rosé girl better treat you right, Minnie suddenly thought remembering the name from her conversation with Lisa.

“Okay. Let me just get a breath of fresh air.” Tiredly, you dragged your feet to the garden.

Thailand’s hot breeze filled the surroundings making it easier to breathe in and out. You kept your head up to the night sky, the stars were outstanding. They competed for your attention with the lovely panorama of the whole city. Diving deeper into the garden, your nostrils were pleasantly taking everything around in. The flowers blossomed, they added a refreshing feeling. Finally, you sat down on a bench made of stone.

Your thoughts were getting clouded, you began wondering why on Earth did you get to this place. Not garden, specifically.

But this huge hole in your heart. You were shaken up at the idea of Minnie making you feel so many things despite not seeing her for so long. You had a girlfriend, after all. Rosé would be very disappointed.

A sudden loud thud followed by the sound of glass breaking made you jump in your spot. You quickly got up and found out what caused it.

“Great.” Minnie groaned annoyed with a box dropped on the floor. Champagne bottles flew out of it and two of them shattered into pieces. She was crouching down in order to put remaining complete bottles back to the box.

“Hey, be careful.” In a moment you were crouching in front of her, ready to help.

Minnie’s eyes were studying your features deeply before she sighed, aware of how the circumstances appeared to be. “I swear I’m not following you.”

You cracked a smile.

“I know. I’ll bring the broom, do you still keep it next to the trash containers?”

“Yeah, it’s still there.” Minnie would never dare to think that you’d remember such random thing about her house.

She chuckled to herself as she watched you round the corner. Her guts were telling her that it was like fate was screaming at her, laughing in her face.

'This is your person! Get them!'

Minnie wasn’t sure she’d be able to get over you again. It took her literal ages last time and as it seemed - she was still down bad for you. Why was it so complicated, she kept asking herself.

You came back with a broom only to immediately sweep the mess she caused. She was convinced you were her angel all along.

Unsurprisingly, no one noticed the accident. You were located in a part of the garden that provided a lot privacy, away from the windows and doors. Besides, everyone inside was still having fun, not really caring about anything outside the walls they were in.

“Y/N.” Minnie called, determined to let you know the truth. The whole, painful and uneasy truth.

You nodded for her to continue, while keeping your focus on the glass you were cleaning up. But it wasn’t enough for Minnie. Maybe you were afraid of meeting her eyes, you only did so a handful of times that night. And it frustrated her to no end. Slowly, she felt her self control decreasing.

So she stepped closer to you, craving your eyes on her.

You blinked at the sight of her shoes entering your field of view. With a gulp you raised your head meeting her puzzled expression. Minnie wanted to say something, but she had no idea where to even start. Distant chatter of the guests inside disappeared, you kind of forgot about the broom in your hands too.

It was a silent, long eye contact.

The tension in your body didn’t allow you to to move or inhale for that matter. You froze under Minnie’s incredibly intense gaze. Without any words, she managed to send you the message.

Her poor, fragile heart in palm of her hand.

Don’t do it.

Don’t you dare. You glanced at her lips.

Don’t even think about it. Her eyes already said yes.

Don’t do it.

You kissed her.

[twopoppies]

Two things

Personally I think Hard Candy could also mean something “sweet” the person is saying sweet things the “hard candy” are her words to cozy up to him

And the “date” yes he may have wanted someone there and I don’t blame him but Lou T was a little too involved they all can love her but I’ve always seen her as another management handler, also did anyone else find it odd she’s lived her whole life but picked a teenage boy who she’d known for 2 yrs as godfather to her child? I may sound bitter and I’m sure she’s done wonderful things for them and their families but for me she just seems like one of many who hitched their wagon to Harry’s future and her daughter’s too seeing the person he is and him being her godfather, she’s always tied to him as well.

I’m pretty sure hard candy is also a drink. It was a line meant to be ambiguous and suggestive—just like his image at the time.

Lou T is the worst. She sucked as a hair stylist and she only ever seemed to pay attention to Harry. She 100% glommed on to him and would be there still if he hadn’t luckily extricated himself because Lux had to start school and Lou couldn’t tour.

[fanfic-corner]

Tony Stark Has a Heart Fic Recs pt 2

Hello everyone!! I still have plenty of fics with this tag left in my bookmarks, so we're back for a part 2! I hope you enjoy reading them <3

You can find part one here.

xvii. drugged by tempestaurora (2.3k)

“Well,” the doctor said, “it seems you two can only tell the truth. I’ll call the team in to start working on a fix, but I do recommend you don’t leave the tower in case you say something you usually wouldn’t.”

“I’ll be fine,” Peter said.

The doctor raised an eyebrow but didn’t look at him. “Peter, are you Spiderman?”

“Yes.” Peter blinked. “I see your point.”

Peter Parker's Incorrect Quotes Page by EmilyWeaslette (2.5k)

Peter opens an 'incorrect quotes' account for the Avengers on Twitter, without telling them. When the team discovers the account, and Peter is too embarassed to come forward as it's creator, panic and hilarity ensue as the team try to figure out how private conversations are being eavesdropped on. Peter's just trying to avoid being caught.

Besides.

It was all Shuri's idea.

Candy from Strangers by peter_parkr (2.8k)

Peter heard footsteps approaching the bathroom. Tony pushed the door open and hesitantly poked his head in.

"Oh, shit." His eyes were met with the sight of Peter, whiter than a ghost, crumpled on the floor in fetal position. Peter tried to smile up at Tony, but it came out as more of a grimace.

"Hey, ms'r strk. Welcome to my h'me." Peter flopped his arm over on the floor in greeting. Tony sighed... this was going to be a long night.

Where my heart lies by Maicaly (3.5k)

Peter Stark is taken from his school's parking lot, and 46 hours later, Tony receives a message with a location. Steve, Rhodey and Sam follow him to an abandoned building with a unpleasant surprise inside - that will put Tony's nerves at test.

Repeat After Me by battybatzgirl (3.8k)

Tony’s face hardens as he says, “What kid.”

“I don’t know, some twelve year old—”

Below him, the kid coughs out, “Fifteen.”

“—Fifteen year old—”

Tony scrubs a hand across his face. “Don’t tell me he’s wearing a dorky shirt with a chemistry pun on it.”

Rhodey frowns. That was oddly specific. Glancing down, he looks at what little he can see of the kid’s shirt—which isn't much since there’s so much blood now, but what could be once called a cartoon joke is printed on it. “Um, yeah?”

“Son of a bitch.”

Love, hate on by madasthesea (3.9k)

She’d planned for this moment for two years, seven months, and eighteen days: As she’d stood above her daughter’s freshly dug grave, she’d decided that Tony Stark would die by her hand. And now was her moment.

She had only intended to grab Stark, tell him what he’d done that merited the punishment she was going to give, and kill him fast before anyone started looking. But here was this kid, an act of providence.

She didn’t have to tell Stark now, she could show him. She could make him suffer like she’d suffered, make him pay for his crimes. An eye for an eye, a child for a child.

kidnapping by killerqueenwrites (4.6k)

Steve wakes up cuffed to a chair, which is kind of annoying considering he has a meeting today. 

He’s just coming to the conclusion that he really might be in trouble when he notices the kid across from him.

or Steve and Peter get some bonding time, and Tony is freaking out.

Um, I'm Invoking Parental Rights by teaandtumblr (5.8k)

5 times Peter calls Tony "dad" to bail him out, and the 1 time he means it.

Perhaps He's Not Missing Out After All. by NotYoCheese (6.6k)

Peter is devastated after he is told that he is not allowed to go on the field trip with the rest of his class tomorrow. Tony steps in and tells him that he can stay at the tower on the day of the field trip. Only, Peter didn't realize that the field trip was to the tower, and guess who the lucky intern who gets to give them a tour is . . .

Featuring a shocked class that finds out that Peter isn't lying, a very angry Flash, and maybe even some IronDad Fluff

Planes, Trains, and the Trauma Response by imgoingtocrash and savvysass (6.9k)

The world around him is solid. It makes sense. Despite the existence of aliens and literal gods in their galaxy—the science of it all makes sense. They just have yet to figure it all out.

Then he’d been thrown into a spiral of falsehoods—one after another, all so fast, all so real—and suddenly he’s in

the Netherlands. It’s too nice compared to the horrors he became used to—a far cry from the real world: a world of dead parents, dead uncles, and half of a universe, dead with the snap of one creature’s fingers.

Where once there was certainty…now there’s fragility.

So, when he sees Tony step out of the plane instead of Happy…he falters.

Mr Stark Enough For You? (another field trip fic bcs we dont have enough) by Livinei (7k)

Peter isn’t worried because he thinks Tony won’t say yes, he’s worried because he’s sure Tony will. And he’s not sure how he feels about having his entire class waltzing around the place where he spends practically more time than in his own home, where he has his own room, and where he regularly eats Lucky Charms with one of the most influential men in the country, in his pajamas. Not that they’d ever know any of that. Tour groups don’t go to the living quarters of the Tower anyways, they hardly ever go past the 50th floor, Peter knows that. And it isn’t fair to his class if he doesn’t ask just because he…spends a lot of time there?

Yeah, Peter sighs, he has to ask. He promised, anyways.

you'll always get there first by crowkag (7k)

Home, home, home home home. It played on loop in Peter’s brain, loud and tumbling and distracting…

But not in a way that would have him miss the silver Audi speeding toward him in the opposite direction, a sight that made him do a double-take for two reasons.

One, because the fancy car was a foreign presence after nothing but rusty, dented Ford pickups for the past hour.

And two, he was pretty sure that was Tony in the driver’s seat.

Peter Parker's Super Secret Snack Stash by coconutknightshade (7k)

"It's D, Peter. We talked about this."

“No it’s not, Ned. Because if it were D then I would be wrong and that would put me at a 65% already on this practice exam and we haven’t even gotten through it all. I can’t fail another history exam, Ned! This last one is worth 60% of our grade! If I fail this final then I’ll fail the class and if I fail the class then I’ll be kicked out of school-”

“You’re top of our year, Peter.” You can almost hear Ned’s eye roll as he talks over Peter.

“- and if I’m kicked out of school then I’ll be forced to live on the streets exchanging sexual favors for money and I can’t do that, Ned! I wouldn’t even know what to charge- I mean, what’s the street value of a blow job, Ned? Do you know? Because I sure as shit don’t.” At this point Ned is outright giggling over Peter’s theatrics.

Pickle Starburst by Bergen (7.5k)

One mundane evening, an awkward, wide-eyed teenager with strange enhanced abilities tumbles into Tony’s office and claims he is from the year 2017, twelve years into the future.

Tony doesn’t really do kids. Or whack jobs. So a combination of the two is a challenge.

But when has Tony ever backed down from a challenge?

for the love of freefall by sagemb (7.9k)

Happy does not, in fact, pick Peter up on Wednesday. Instead, when he and Ned walk out of the school building, there’s a small crowd gathering next to a convertible orange Audi R8 idling in the fire lane. A man with a familiar goatee and rose-colored sunglasses is sitting in the driver’s seat.

Peter’s brain short-circuits for a second.

5 Times Peter Sleepwalked And The 1 Time He Pretended He Did by losingmymindtonight (8.7k)

Peter sleepwalks, Tony stresses.

Man in a Can by JinxQuickfoot (10k)

Peter could hear the voices floating down to him, muffled by the floorboards nailed into place above his head and cemented over with the industrial strength tiles that made up Tony’s workshop floor. The last thing he had remembered was a dark figure appearing over him in bed, then he had woken up here, groggy and exhausted and unable to move.

Unable to move because whoever had grabbed him had covered him in concrete from toes to mouth, repaired Tony’s floor, and left him there.

We Will Foresee Obstacles by blackwatchandromeda (11k)

The war is over. Thanos has been defeated, the population has been restored, and Peter has lost one of the most important people in his life.

After the funeral, Peter meets Harley and Morgan. They're all in the same position, all missing the same person, and it's not long before they come up with a scheme to save him.

That is, if they can pull it off.

When You Assume Wrong by TentativeTreason (14k)

Tony is hiding something.

The Avengers notice the little discrepancies in Tony’s behaviour, and they eventually come to the only conclusion they can think of: Tony is having an affair.

Five Times Peter Parker Pretended to Be Asleep by blondsak (16k)

...and the one time he actually was.

Or: sometimes, faking sleep can work to your advantage. When it comes to trying to fool a certain genius, overprotective, superhero mentor, Peter finds this to be doubly true.

Definitely Worth It by jennylarner (16k)

Peter doesn't want to go on a field trip to Stark Tower. It's a recipe for disaster. His class doesn't believe him, his teacher doesn't believe him. If he makes it through the entire day without being suspended, it'll be a miracle. Unfortunately for Peter, he's never much believed in miracles.

What I Really Need is You by happyaspie (18k)

Five Things Peter Needs From Tony and One Thing He Wants.

@ironman follows you by malyin_roza (27k)

“Eighteen detentions last month alone, disgraceful amount of absent hours – often odd classes mid-day or half a day. I won’t mention the after-class clubs, or nerd groups, or whatever it is you do for ‘fun’ that actually counts in to your records anyway.”

Peter sat frozen on the spot, his face growing hot and red after rapidly paling when Tony began talking.

“I – I – look, I, let me explain – “

“That’s,” Tony pointed at him, silencing with one look, “that’s where we might start.”

“Start?” the teen repeated uneasily.

Sweet Jesus, what did he have on him?

“I solved it all, you’re welcome.”

A beat of silence as Peter blinked at him.

Cloak and Dagger by Velnetta (34k)

After being kidnapped with some of earth’s greatest defenders, Peter is grateful that it appears that their captors aren’t aware that he’s Spider-man.

The problem? To the Avengers, he's just Tony Stark's teenage intern- and Peter intends to keep it that way.

turn back the clock (and I'll try again in the morning) by madasthesea (35k)

Peter gets stuck in a time loop. In it, he lives through some of his worst nightmares, only to wake up that morning and have no one remember. He needs Tony to help him get through.

And if that isn't bad enough, his identity is revealed over and over, every day.

Time to Pretend by Rowan_M (38k)

A villain attacking New York sends an injured Peter back in time to the year 2000. Not knowing how to get home, Peter asks Tony Stark for help and ends up finding out a lot about his and Tony's past.

Peter is given an opportunity to change the future, or leave things be.

In My Dreams by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays (48k)

Red.

Red was quite the color.

The color of love, the color of hate.

The color of glowing cheeks under a streetlight, of smiling lips and sweet rose petals. The color of a sour lollipop in a child’s young hand.

The color of war, of blood, of pain. The color that plagued the nightmares of the bravest men.

Yes, red was quite a few things at once, but right now, it was the color that coated Peter Parker’s hands as he stumbled away from the warm corpses of his aunt and uncle, silhouetted cruelly by the neon store signs, and into the unknown of a quiet, star-dotted night in Queens.

A Hundred Feet Under by thisisnotourlasthunt (59k)

Months after the events in Civil War, a chemical outbreak causes the whole world to fall in a comatose state. The Avengers, who had to reunite when people began to fall, are forced to trap themselves inside a bunker until Bruce Banner and Helen Cho can figure out an antidote. This leads to new friendships to form, and others to heal. All of this a hundred feet underground.

Things go well, until they don't.

While Tony and Steve revisit their actions in Civil War and deal with being a team once again, one of their team members was silently compromised by the chemicals. None of them knew until the effects began to appear. Emotions are shared. The team becomes a family once again and some learn that despite their past actions, there will always be people that will love and care for you. Also, Tony is a stressed dad to a teenager with concerning lack of self preservation skills.

It's a Secret to Everybody by Snapdragon_in_the_Snow (97k)

Peter gets to spend all summer living in Avengers Tower with Tony. When the Rogue Avengers get pardoned and come back to live at the Tower too, they're confused as to who Peter is. However, once they see how Tony acts around Peter, that confusion goes away, as they know for certain who Peter must be - Tony's secret son.

Tony and Peter decide to make the most of the situation, and play along. They hope they can keep up the act all summer. But they soon learn that they barely have to act at all.

built from scraps by peterstank (138k)

“Everybody needs someone. That’s what you said, right?” Pepper meets his eyes and he’s struck by the way she’s almost pleading. “We both lost. We can help each other.”

Her hand, palm up and open, stretches into the space between them.

Peter hesitates.

Then he takes it.

or: the one where tony was dusted instead of peter, so he and pepper try to figure out the whole ‘family’ thing together.

(oh, and it turns out that the man who died in peter’s arms on an alien planet is his biological father. who knew, right?)

Brave as a Noun by edema_ruh (161k)

Some people think that Peter is Tony's son. Why shouldn't they? Peter seems to be orbiting Tony all the time, and it's not like the billionaire tells him off. They have a nice relationship - Peter is glad to have a father figure, and Tony cares for the kid as if he's actually his son.

The first problem regarding this arises when the people who think that Peter is Tony's son kidnap him for ransom.

The second problem regarding this arises when one of the people who kidnaps Peter turns out to be Mac Gargan, the Scorpion, and he's hungry for revenge.

Identity Theft by KitCat992 (267k)

It's been months since the events of Civil War, and the Avengers are doing their best to remain a team, having promised to forgive and forget. Unfortunately for them, Tony Stark's latest invention has been stolen and recovering it causes tension to reappear.

Meanwhile, in Queens, Peter Parker has two main priorities on his plate — complete his midterm finals, and track down a fishbowl wearing criminal that may or may not lead him right into the hands of the Avengers.

Somehow between all of this, Spider-Man's identity is revealed to the Avengers, Steve and Tony's friendship may permanently be damaged due to continued hidden secrets, and Happy struggles to buy a youth-sized casket for Peter's funeral.

Things were a lot easier when they were fighting over Bucky Barnes.

Stab Me in the Back (I'll Catch You From Behind) by Lansfics7 (296k)

"I am going to find Tony," the man hisses in Peter's ear, his gaze cold and cruel. "And when I do, I will kill him, slowly. What do you say to that-" The man stops short because Peter's shoulders are shaking, and before he can curl his lip in victory, he hears a snicker. When he lets go of Peter's hair, the teen's head slumps to his chest, but it's not out of exhaustion or defeat...it's to hide a smile.

The boy lets out a laugh, shaking his head before glancing to the sides admitting apologetically, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it's just- it is so fun to mess with you!" He looks around before snorting, "Tony Stark? That's your play? You're not screwing with me, right? You actually thought that would work? Sorry guys." Peter straightens in his chair with a sneer and a cocky wink, "Tony doesn't give a flying crap about me."

And that's it! Happy reading, and if you have any other fics to rec with this tag - whether they be yours or your friend's - please share them with me! And, as always, thank you to all the amazing writers who share their works with us.

[avengerscompound]

The Interview - Chapter 4

The Interview - A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Rating:  E

Warnings:  nothing really

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Melody Danes

Word Count:   1739

Summary:  Melody Danes gets the break of a lifetime when as a lowly intern, she’s assigned to write a profile piece on Captain America.  Steve Rogers is a hard man not to fall for and as she and Melody get closer and Melody’s career takes off, jealousy leads to sabotage, and the potential to bring her whole world crashing down.

Chapter 4

Being shown around Brooklyn by Steve Rogers had been in the top ten experiences Melody had experienced.  It had been fascinating seeing what was left of the secret headquarters for the strategic scientific reserve.  It was a nightclub now, that seemed to cash in on its infamous past.  There were framed news articles about the explosion and subsequent pursuit of a HYDRA agent in Brooklyn, and photos of the old lab on the walls down the staircase that led to the basement-level dancefloor.  Steve explained that the dancefloor and bar were where the procedure that made him a super-soldier took place and that the VIP section was where everyone had watched on.

After that, he’d taken her to his old apartment building and school.  He had a lot of stress in his childhood, though Melody could tell he was giving her the press-friendly version of his life.  It was still nice getting such a personal and intimate tour of the life of one of the most famous people on the planet.

Outside of the fascination and history of the tour and what it would mean to her article, it was a really pleasant day out.  Peter Parker was always fun to be around, despite the fact he was completely unreliable and would often make a weird excuse and disappear in the middle of work.  He was dorky and funny and was usually able to set people at ease.  Steve seemed to like his brand of fanboy too and seemed to enter a kind of dad mode every time the two of them interacted.  They all grabbed lunch together, and even under the banner of interviewing Captain America, Melody liked spending time with Steve.  He liked people to feel safe and welcome and while he could be intimidating, he made the effort to make sure she knew she had nothing to worry about.

After everything was done Melody and Steve caught the train back to Manhattan.  That was when he invited her to a party at the Avengers Tower the following night and told her to bring a friend.  The chance to see him completely unwind as well as getting to attend a party with the Avengers made butterflies flutter around in her stomach.

As he got off the train she realized that she might be developing quite a crush on Steve Rogers.

It was easy to convince herself it didn’t matter.  Plenty of people had a crush on Steve Rogers, he’d been People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive every year since he’d come off the ice, except for two years ago when people started saying it was rigged and they decided to give the title to Sam Wilson. Yes, she had started to get to know him - and yes, he was extremely chivalrous toward her, but he was still a celebrity that she was only going to spend a couple of weeks with tops and then she’d never see him again.  So she had a crush? So what?

The apartment was empty when Melody got home, so she took a shower and changed into pajamas before sitting down to start her article.  After she’d been writing for a few hours her stomach began to rumble, and she went to her tiny kitchenette to make dinner.

Bobbi arrived home with a couple of her friends while she was adding the last few ingredients to her pasta sauce.  “Mel!  I’m home!” she called as she came through the door. “Rowan and Oliva are with me.”

“Damn, it smells good in here,” Rowan, the tall, tanned, androgynous friend of Bobbi’s said.

“It’s just pasta,” Melody said.  “Nothing special.”

“It’s making my mouth water,” they said. “Bobbi, we definitely need to get food before work.”

“Yeah, okay.  We don’t have a lot of time though,” Bobbi replied.

Melody stepped out of the tiny kitchenette to catch Bobbi before she disappeared into her room.  “How were your auditions?” she asked.  “Did you all go?”

“We sure did,” the shorter, curvier Olivia said.  “Not too often when there are roles specifically for people like us that pop up.”

“How’d you go?” Melody asked.

“Pretty good, I think,” Bobbi said.  “Maybe we’ll be getting our big break at the same time.”

Melody held up her hand with her fingers crossed.  “Fingers crossed.  Hey, are you working tomorrow?”

“I’m always working,” Bobbi said.  “Why?”

“I got invited to a party at the Avengers Tower,” Melody said.  “I’m allowed to bring someone.  You think you can get off work to be the someone?”

She stopped dead and stared at Melody with wide amber eyes.  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?  Will the Avengers be there?”

“I mean - I was invited by an Avenger, so I assume so,” Melody answered.

“Seriously?  You want me to go with you?” she said.

“Of course I do,” Melody replied.  “Who else?”

She shifted on the spot and whined a little. “I’ll try and get someone to fill in for me.  Don’t ask anyone else.”

Melody put her hands up in surrender.  “I would never.”

“If she can’t go, I’m open,” Olivia said.  “I’d love to meet Black Widow.”

“No.  If anyone meets black widow it will be me,” Bobbi said, bouncing on the spot.  “Shit.  I have to get ready for work.”

“Go,” Melody said.  “I won’t ask anyone else.  You can tell me tomorrow.”

Bobbi came over and hugged Melody.  “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“Hey you can repay me by taking me to the Tony’s when you’re nominated,” Mel joked.

“You’ve got it, babe,” she said, finally letting you go.  “Go get your food before you set off the fire alarms.”

She gave Melody’s butt a swat and Melody yelped and ran in to rescue her pasta.  Olivia and Rowan both hovered by the kitchenette as Bobbi went to change.

“Bobbi said you were doing a profile on Captain America,” Rowan said.  “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” she said as she served up her meal.  “It was lucky really.  Everyone else on staff has pissed off the Avengers.  I was all that was left.”

“Don't sell yourself short like that,” Rowan said.  “You must be doing a good job if he invited you to a party.”

Melody couldn't help the smile that crossed her face.  “You're right.  I am the best!”

The following night, Bobbi had managed to get someone to fill in for her at the dinner theater, so she and Melody went into the city to buy something to wear.  It was a tricky situation to be invited to a party with actual celebrities while they were living on dried ramen and peanut butter.  Thankfully, since they’d moved to New York together they’d become expert thrift shoppers.  They knew the best stores to hit and had gotten pretty good at doing quick alterations and mixing and matching to make an outfit blend into a variety of different situations.

They were browsing the racks of clothes in one of their favorite stores that tended to stock more vintage clothes, looking for the perfect things to wear that night.  “So what’s the vibe?” Bobbi asked.  “Do we want to be professional?  Flirty?  Slutty?  Is there a dress code?”

“He didn’t say there was a dress code,” Melody said.  “He just said; Tony is throwing a party tomorrow night.  Would you like to come?  You can bring a friend.”

“So it’s not for work?” Bobbi asked, pulling out a sheer black blouse and holding it up to herself and then to Melody.

“I think it’s like - both?  Like a chance to see him with his friends?  But also I’m genuinely invited to the party,” she answered as Bobbi put the shirt back.  “I don’t want to be prudish when we go, but I don’t want to go too far the other way.”

“Flirty?” she asked, this time pulling out a wool cardigan and then immediately putting it back again.

“Mmm…” Melody hummed, making a non-committal sound as she took a hat from the head of a mannequin and spun it around in her hands.  The truth was she did want to be flirty.  She wanted Steve to notice her, but she didn’t want to admit that she wanted Steve to notice her.

“Flirty…?” Bobbi pressed.

“Yeah… yeah flirty,” she relented.  “Bobbi… I really like him.”

She pulled out a wrap dress, held it up to Melody, and then draped it over her arm.  “Well of course you do - he’s Captain America.”

“It’s not just that,” Melody whined.  “He’s just - he’s so fucking interesting.  And nice.  He’s so nice.  I’ve never met a man who was so genuinely decent before.  I like him so much.”

“Good god, woman,” Bobbi scolded.  “You have a job to do!”

“I know, I know,” Melody relented.  “And I swear, I’ll do it.  I’ve been working so hard for this break.  I’m not going to blow it now.  But - maybe when it’s done…?”

Bobbi rolled her eyes and sighed. “Honey, you need to be realistic.  He’s Captian-fucking-America.”

“I know…” Melody sighed.  “I know you’re right, but he did invite me to this party.  And maybe if he can get to know me a little he’ll want to spend more time with me after the article.”

“Maybe,” Bobbi said.  “But don’t get your hopes up.  And please - be careful.  This is a big deal.”

“I know.  I know,” she said and put the hat back. “I will.  I promise.”

“Okay, so flirty.  We can do flirty,” Bobbi said.

She scanned the room, and her eyes suddenly lit up.  “Oh my god,” she said, heading to the shoe section.  Melody followed along, perplexed, and watched as she picked up a knee-high platform boot with large buckles up the side.  “Please be my size, please be my size,” she said.

“Bobbi! Those aren’t going to work for tonight,” Melody protested.

“But look at them,” she said, caressing the side of the shoe.  “I love them.  I love them more than you love Captain America.”

Melody snorted and shook her head.  “Fine, you try them on.  I’m gonna see what I can find.” 

She left Bobbi to try on her shoes as she browsed the racks of clothes for the perfect thing to wear that was professional enough to say journalist and flirty enough to make Steve Rogers see her as a potential romantic partner.  It might not be the easiest thing to pull off, but she was determined to at least try.

// NEXT

[harlowsbby]

Games Women Play

Requested, the reader and Jack have been married but it’s a rocky marriage so when he goes on tour she ends up seeing someone else and having an affair with a married man, all ends up crashing and burning in the end.

————————————————————————-

You always felt disgusted after you did it because deep down inside you knew what you were doing was wrong and unforgivable, if Jack knew what you were doing he’d leave without a second thought.

You looked down at Joey, and watched how his chest rose and fell due to him have a peaceful slumber. Grasping and pulling the robe on you tighter you got up from your shared bed with Jack to take a shower. You always took showers after sleeping with Joey because you felt like in a way it was washing away your sins.

After you showered you did the rest of your morning routine before heading downstairs to greet your daughter Mariah who was most likely already awake. Mariah was 6 years old and she was very bright and smart no matter how hard you tried you could never put anything past her.

“Good morning my love.” You greeted her as she watched cartoons on the couch with a mouth filled with Fruity Pebble Cereal. “Good morning mommy! Did you sleep good mommy?” She beamed with excitement when she saw you were finally awake, she quickly ran over towards you and hugged your legs. “I did sleep good, what about you my little angel?”

She shrugged her shoulders, “I had a nightmare again last night.” You cooed and brushed a few strands of hair out of her face, she had Jack’s exact curl pattern and hair texture. “Just about daddy I miss him lots mommy.” She pouted the brim of her eyes starting to fill with tears.

“Don’t cry baby how about this before you go to school you can call him? How does that sound.” Her mood instantly picked up as you took out your phone and clicked on Jack’s contact after a few rings he picked up.

“Daddy!!” She grinned and held the phone but she smiled even brighter when Jack appeared on the screen. He had his cap on backwards and had a plain white tee on. Mariah left into the room to talk to Jack while you cleaned up the kitchen.

You’d say your marriage with Jack started getting rocky the minute left for tour, this tour was going to be exactly 4 months long he’d spend 3 months in the states and 1 month out of the states, you had needs womanly needs that needed to be attended and taken care of and maybe having an affair wasn’t the way to take care of those needs but the damage has already been done.

You haven’t really spoken to Jack much since he’s left mainly because you were still upset with him and still wasn’t over the argument the two of you had.

flashback

“So you’re just leaving us? And for 4 months what am I going to tell Mariah, oh I’m sorry sweetie your father would much rather spend his time away on the road than with his own fucking child!?” You spat at Jack and tossed his clothing into his suitcase. He groaned and massaged the side of his face he didn’t feel like arguing but clearly you did.

“I need to support the two of you don’t I? This is my life and my career Y/N you can’t like I won’t be flying the two of you out within a month.” You just rolled your eyes and kept throwing his stuff inside his suitcase. “Are you even listening to me Y/N?”

“You’re talking aren’t you.” You snapped. Jack stood up and made his way over to you he tried taking the clothing out of your hands. “Just put it down alright and talk to me can we talk about this.” “Nope.” You pulled away from him and walked over to your dresser pulling out some of his socks. “You’re leaving tomorrow right? So I need to pack your stuff.”

“Just fucking stop alright Y/N stop acting like the damn victim in this shit.” The victim? He’s the one that wanted to leave Mariah and You for 4 months you had ever right to play victim. You paused what you were doing and faced him, he looked at you in sorrow. “You’re the one leaving us Jack did you even think about me? Or Mariah how she’d feel or how this would impact her not having her father here.”

He looked down at his shoes you shook your head in defeat. “Of course you didn’t you know I think it’s best I go sleepover Neelam’s tonight. I’ll see you whenever you get back.” He didn’t stop you from leaving only because he knew he was wrong he should’ve talked to you about this but instead he just sprung it on you like nothing.

flashback over

“Mommy here you go.” Mariah handed you the phone letting you talk to Jack. “Hi my pretty baby.” Rolling your eyes you propped the phone up on a box of rice so he’d be able to see you while you did the dishes. “What’s up?” You blankly asked. “What’s up?” He questioned. “You’re still mad at me, I’m sorry Y/N alright I already feel guilty and horrible for what I did.”

“You should feel horrible you know Mariah’s daughter and father dance is this Friday and guess who won’t be here, his name rhymes with whack.” He chucked. “Oh so I’m Whack Harlow now?” You stiffed a laugh not wanting him to know you found it funny. “I’m being serious Jack she missed you.. I miss you.” You mumbled that last part but he heard you. “You miss me huh?” He grinned.

“Fine I miss you but don’t let it get to your head.” You told him but it was too late because he was already smiling from ear to ear. “I miss you too baby but look I have to go but I’ll look you later on tonight alright?” You nodded and blew him a kiss and he blew one back before hanging up, you smiled and sighed in relief you were happy the two of you made up.

“Good morning baby.” Joey’s voice came from behind you he placed his hands on your ass giving you ass a quick squeeze making you squeal and lean into his touch. “Good morning handsome how’d you sleep?” With your head on his chest you looked up at him his dark green eyed starring into your eyes. “I slept good especially since last night.” You giggled and turned around in his arms now facing him. “How about we go a few more rounds when I drop Mariah off.”

“Sounds good baby.” He leaned forward placing a few kisses on your lips you moaned and rubbed your body against his, your core started to heat up. “I want you now.” You moaned into his mouth. “You do huh? You sure you can take it because last night the way your eyes were rolling I swear you were about to meet God.” You slapped his chest and pulled back.

“Whatever I’ll show you otherwise.” He grinned and grabbed a banana. “I’m sure you will, don’t be long baby I’ll be waiting.” The entire time the two of you were in the kitchen Mariah was recording Tik Tok's on her iPad but what you didn’t know was that in the background of one of her unpublished videos was Joey and You making out in the kitchen.

————————————————————————

“It feels good to be back home in Louisville.” Urban stretched and nodded. “It sure does even if it’s for the weekend.” Jack was back home in Louisville for the weekend since it was Mariah’s father and daughter dance tomorrow.

He didn’t let you know he was coming he wanted it to be a surprise he even managed to stop by the store to get you some flowers. He got an alert from his phone and it was a email from his ring camera company, for the past few weeks the ring camera hasn’t been working but Jack had gotten someone to come out and fix it just for them to say it was unplugged.

“My ring camera isn’t working again? I pay too much for this shit not to be working.” Jack was growing irritated seeing the email from the ring camera saying the camera wasn’t working again. “Maybe someone is unplugging it again? Maybe it’s Mariah.” That was a possibility but Mariah wasn’t tall enough to reach the plug. “I don’t think so but I’ll just talk to Y/N about it.”

Urban heard there was a few rumors going around in Louisville saying how a few neighbors saw some man coming in and out of your house and random times of the night, he wanted to bring it up to Jack but he figured how wasn’t the time.

After the Uber dropped Urban off Jack was now heading back home he was a bit nervous mainly because he hasn’t seen you for awhile or Mariah, but when he pulled up to the house all his nerves faded away he was ready to be surrounded by his girls.

Approaching the door that’s when he noticed the ring camera was indeed unplugged. He knocked on the door within a few minutes it flung open revealing Mariah and Yourself. “Daddy!!” She squealed and wiggled around in your arms wanting to be put down. “Jack?” You questioned but nonetheless let him in.

“What are you doing here?” You questioned him and watched him tickle Mariah, he looked up at you. “I couldn’t let my little girl go to the father daughter dance without me now could I?” Mariah giggled. “Nope!”

"Hey baby what happened with the ring camera? I noticed it was unplugged." You forgot you unplugged the ring camera you only did it when Joey came around since it altered Jack whenever someone or something was near the door. "Oh I did that I was touching up the front door with some paint." You lied he nodded and thought nothing of it.

You were thrilled Jack was here but at the same time what were you going to do with Joey, for right now he was back home with his wife but you knew he’d be back over tomorrow. “What’s been going on? Any new gossip or tea at school.”

Mariah rolled her eyes at Jack’s attempt to seem cool. “Let’s go play tea party daddy.” He looked back at you making sure you didn’t need him for anything. “You’re good go have fun, make sure you put some makeup on him baby girl.” Mariah grinned and nodded and took a horrified looking Jack upstairs.

You wanted to text Joey and warn him not to come over but with his history of cheating on his wife she had every single password on his phone so she’d most definitely question him if she saw a message from some women she’s never heard of. The only thing you could do was simply pray he wouldn’t show up.

————————————————————————

Jack had just gotten finished getting ready for the father and daughter dance, you were downstairs doing Mariah’s hair when he came into the kitchen. You practically drooled seeing him dressed up in an all black fitted suit and the way his hazel brown colored curls hanged and stuck up in any and every direction had you clenching your legs and that’s something Jack noticed.

“You good over there baby?” He devilishly smirked. “I’m so good are you good?” You squeaked out he chuckled. “I’m doing good but when you’re done you think you can come help me in the bathroom real quick?”

You quickly finished up Mariah’s hair and made your way into the bathroom. “Jack? Where are you.” You whispered yelled. “I’m right here baby.” Before you could’ve even then around he had you pushed up against the sink with your ass pressed up against his crock. “I fucking missed you so much Y/N.” You moaned as he nibbled on your ear-lope and made his way down to your neck, you shivered when he blew on your neck.

“I missed you too Jack so much baby.” He begins to suck on your neck very softly you can feel the pressure start to increase as he sucks harder, you moan feeling his dick pressing against your ass through his pants, he was always so big. “Jack please I need you.” He pulls away and admired his working giving it a nod in approval. “You might wanna cover that up baby.” You groan inspecting your neck seeing he left a hickey the size of Texas.

“Mommy, Daddy? Can we take a picture together on my iPad.” Mariah’s voice came from the other side of the door, Jack opened the door letting Mariah come inside. “Of course Princess, where is it I’ll go get it.”

“It’s in our room under the bed.” Jack nodded and made his way upstairs. Making his way into your shared bedroom he looked around confused seeing a pair of sweats that weren’t his laying on the bathroom floor tucked under a few used towels. But he shook his head letting it go he just figured Clay or Sunni might’ve came over since they tended to use your bathroom.

Taking the iPad from under the bed he opened the camera roll he was scrolling through pictures laughing and smiling at little videos Mariah had taken of the two of you but he stopped when he saw a video of Mariah doing some Tik Tok trend, in the back was a video of you but the thing is you weren’t alone.

“What the fuc-.” He was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. “Who is it?” He heard you yell, Jack took the iPad and hurried down the stairs. “Who's at the door?” You shrugged your shoulders. Jack opened the door and came face to face with Joey.

Jack looked Joey up and down noticing a bouquet of red roses in his hands and a box of Hershey chocolate Jack noticed Joey had the same snake tattoo on his arm just like the man in the video, that’s when he put two and two together this man in-front of him was the man that was kissing on his wife.

“Jack, honey who is it we’re about to lea-.” You stopped in your tracks seeing Joey and Jack standing there. Jack had a look of disbelief and disappointment all over his face. “Are you.. are you having an affair?”

[lexosaurus]

Everything Was White: Part 21

[see all chapters]

read on: [ao3] [ffn] (please read tags)

Summary: After being accidentally revealed to the public and taken away by the government, Danny deals with the aftermath of his time with the GIW.

****

It had only been a few days since his core access had returned to him, but he still wasn’t used to the buzzing under his skin, cool and constant, pure comfort against the blistering pain of his nerve damage.

Looking back, he wasn’t sure how he had managed to make it this far without his core. His parents, his sister, his friends didn’t understand—they couldn’t, they were just human. But Vlad understood. Vlad was like him. Even if he was a complete asshole in every other way.

Danny flicked off the TV and stretched. Grabbing his walker, he made his way over to the kitchen where Jazz was sitting at the table, her attention devoted entirely to the book in her hand.

“Hey,” he said, dropping into one of the chairs.

“Hi, Danny,” she said absentmindedly.

He peeked at the cover. The History of Boston, it read with fancy, gold letters. Danny rolled his eyes. “You haven’t even…moved there yet. And be—besides, isn’t Harvard in Cambridge?”

“Cambridge is right next to Boston, and they’re both on the same transit system. They may as well be the same city,” Jazz recited as if she’d said it a thousand times before. “And anyway, it’s always good to learn about a place before you move there.”

“Yeah, but it’s ways away.”

“I start school next month, Danny.”

Danny blinked, whipping out his phone. Sure enough, the end of the year was fast approaching.

Shit, Christmas is coming up…

He hadn’t even begun to think about the holidays. Then it hit him…Aunt Alicia hadn’t come over for Thanksgiving, had she?

Why hadn’t she come this year? He tried to remember, tried to think back if anyone had mentioned anything, but he drew a blank.

It wasn’t…because of him, was it?

“I need to be prepared,” Jazz rambled, oblivious to any internal crisis Danny was having at the moment. “I’ve heard that the train system is unreliable, so I want to have a good understanding of the city in case of emergency. I don’t ever want to get stuck in an area that may be unsafe for me. And learning the historical context of different neighborhoods is key to understanding the city as a whole.”

“No one’s going to be asking you for tours.”

“As I said, preparation is key.” Jazz placed her bookmark—a plastic green ghost—in between the pages and set the book down on the table. She eyed him for a moment. “I talked to Mom and Dad about the whole chip thing, and, well…”

He was so thankful for having two years of Phantom to hone his acting skills. “They’re still—still building the new one.”

“Yeah,” she confirmed, grimacing. “But they assured me it was just temporary. They really do want this to work, you know. They want you to have your independence back too.”

“I know, I know,” Danny said flatly because he really didn’t know. They wouldn’t be jumping through all these hoops if they wanted him to gain his independence.

But ultimately, that didn’t matter because he had Phantom back. He had his core back. He had full access to his flight, intangibility, invisibility, everything. 

He was free. Even if nobody else could know about it except Vlad.

“Sorry,” Jazz said.

“Thanks for trying.”

Jazz seemed surprised by something if the way she was studying him was any indication, and he wondered if maybe she was expecting a bit bigger reaction. Maybe she was waiting for the meltdown of emotions, for the yelling, crying, cursing.

And perhaps he would have done that before. Back when he was just an unstable, half-finished person. Back when he couldn’t tell Monday from Tuesday, when he was relying on drugs to get him through his day.

It was different now. Gone was his emotional instability, now he was turning a new leaf. He was going to be stronger in every way. He was going to be a better son, a better student—one who didn’t end up crying in Mr. Lancer’s office every week. 

He had his core, so everything was going to be alright.

“I’ll be up in my room,” he said, pulling himself back up. “Gonna—gonna play video games for a bit.”

Jazz picked her book back up from the table. “Okay, have fun.”

He made his way up to his room and collapsed on his bed. The stairs almost seemed insulting now that he could fly, but he knew he needed to keep up appearances. He was just thankful he didn’t need to go through the humiliation of completely relying on a stairlift anymore, (even as the words of his therapist reminded him that stairlifts aren’t embarrassing, Danny, they’re an accessibility tool, plenty of people of all ages need them for all sorts of reasons, Danny, it doesn’t make you a failure).

But that was fine. If there was anything he had perfected over the years, it was the art of hiding.

Once he had recovered his breath enough to feel like moving again, he felt for the wash of cold under his skin. It was still there, same as it had been for the past few days, calling to him to switch, switch, switch. 

So he did.

There was little fanfare this time. No battle cry, no profound moment where he threw his arms at the heavens and jumped into the air. He was just a human, and then a flash of rings passed before his eyes and he was a ghost.

And then he was gone, invisible, jetting through the window with such force that nearly gave him whiplash.

God, he hadn’t moved this fast in…he didn’t even know how long.

He swooped through the air, his muscles stretching as he weaved loop-de-loops around invisible barriers. More than likely, he was flying a far cry compared to when he had been in his prime. But that was okay. He would get there again.

For now, this was wonderful. Exhilarating. Everything. This was happiness, a concept that seemed so foreign to him, he’d all but forgotten what it felt like. But then it sparked in his chest, expanding out to the tips of his fingers, and he couldn’t help but face the sun and laugh.

The world had tried to knock him down. First the portal, then the ghosts, then the government, then his parents. But he was still here.

“Take that,” he shouted at the sky. “Take fucking that!”

He had never been a religious person. His parents were scientists, and he was fairly sure his sister prayed to her favorite authors before she went to bed every night. But just in case there was some asshole looking down, he wanted them to see him now. Flying here, invisibly flipping them the bird. Even after everything, Danny was still here.

“You can’t get rid of me,” he added for good measure. 

Deciding his time of yelling at the clouds like some kind of crazy person was more than over, he flew into the city, passing by buildings, cars, trucks. He soared over apartments and dove into the ground, whizzing through foundations and pipes. 

Some people reacted to his presence, glancing over their shoulders as a chill hit their skin. By now, most of Amity Park likely could recognize the telltale ecto-chill of a ghost core.

But he was invisible, and he had no intention of changing that. So eventually, the people shrugged and carried on, likely assuming that whatever ghost was passing by was too weak to be of much harm.

He couldn’t tell how much time had passed, but eventually, his core pouted, and he felt his strength puttering out under his skin. His weaves weren’t quite as fluid, and staying in the air seemed like more effort than it was worth.

Strange. He didn’t remember tiring so easily before.

But then he thought back to when he first acquired his ghost powers, and…yeah, maybe he did fatigue quickly back then. 

It was okay. Like the rest of his life, he would just rebuild from scratch again.

He had help this time. Real help. One that felt…

Like bliss.

He opened his eyes. He was sunbathing on the roof of some building. Had he napped? Maybe he was more spent than he thought he was. Well, that wouldn’t be unheard of. He had passed out after his first ghost fight too.

God, that felt like another lifetime ago. 

Two years as Phantom. Dozens of fights under his belt. A reputation across his sect of the Ghost Zone. And yet, he felt as new as he did back then after his first real fight against the Lunch Lady.

He would need to train. Work hard. Push himself. Do everything he could to get back to how he was before. He couldn’t let the public see just how badly the government had hurt him.

Right. He had a plan, then.

****

“Where’s Jason?” Star asked, writing what appeared to be an attempt at his name on the whiteboard.

Ms. Perez, the learning center teacher, sighed and checked her watch. “He’s got another five minutes before I phone the main office.”

In a singsong voice, Star said, “He’s gonna be in trouble!”

“Why don’t you sit down and start your math homework?” Ms. Perez asked.

“I can do it later.”

“Girl, no, you can’t,” Ashley said from her table across the room. She squinted at the board, twirling her coily hair in her fingers. “That’s not even how you spell his name.”

Star took a step back from her mirage of bubble letters and guffawed. “Oh my god, I wrote the J as a d! Haha, his name looks like ‘dason’ now!”

“You’re dyslexic,” Ashley said.

“Ashley, stop,” Ms. Perez ordered.

But Star was cackling too hard to be insulted. 

Danny simply dropped his head onto his paper, having given up after writing his name in the top corner. He was supposed to start a new academic goal this week. And he was still committed to that, truly, but right now if he had to do one more fucking math problem, he was going to scream.

“DASON!” 

“Danny, come on. Head up,” Ms. Perez said. “Mr. Lancer’s coming in twenty minutes and I want you to have that worksheet done before then.”

Danny did like Ms. Perez, but most of the time, he just felt bad for her. The learning center was chaotic on the best of days, even with the small class sizes and few students. Usually, there was a para teacher there as well, a man whose name Danny’s brain couldn’t commit to memory. But on days when the aide was called to a different class or he was absent such as today, even Danny had to admit he hardly got work done.

Not for lack of effort either. It was just so hard to stay focused when his brain took one look around the room and decided to go on vacation.

“Danny.”

“I’m tired,” he responded.

“What’s up, did you not sleep well last night?” Ms. Perez asked.

Danny shrugged. In fact, he had slept wonderfully. Just as he’d been sleeping for the past week. The problem wasn’t his sleeping patterns, it was when he woke up. His body still wasn’t used to all the ecto-energy he’d been recently expending on his little escapades all over town. He was sore and sluggish in a way he hadn’t felt in years. The hydrocodone he’d recently started taking in the morning dealt with his soreness, but it too had its own set of drawbacks. Though it helped his body not burn in pain at all hours of the day, it also made him want to crawl back into bed. Which, when surrounded by teachers who knew all about his little habit of falling asleep at his desk pre-reveal, was obviously not ideal. 

“Let’s try to do five more problems, and then you can take a break,” said Ms. Perez.

Reluctantly, Danny pulled his head up from his desk to see that Star had begun to write ‘dason’ in various fonts all over the whiteboard.

Ms. Perez made her way over to Danny’s table and sank into a chair next to him. Her dark brown hair bobbed at her shoulders, tickling the floral designs of her shirt. “Alright, come on, let’s tackle a few of these math problems.”

Danny crossed his arms. “I don’t get it.”

“Yes, you do, we did these yesterday.”

“I forgot how to do it.” That wasn’t even a lie. If Danny had trouble in school last year, everything was just so much harder now.

Thank you, blunt force trauma to the skull.

“Then let’s go over them again.”

Danny groaned but did his best to pay attention anyway. He tried to ignore how Ashley was almost definitely doodling in the margins of her notebook instead of doing her readings, Star was still writing ‘dason’ all over the whiteboards, and Jason was…

Well, he was probably still roaming the halls somewhere.

True to her word, Ms. Perez only made Danny do five tortuous problems before she let him take a break so she could call the main office to report her missing student. And Danny wasted no time sinking his head back down onto the table and closing his eyes.

“Jason Cleaver, please report to room 101. Jason Cleaver, to room 101.” 

Just another day in the learning center.

“Star, sit down. You need to start your math homework too. Mr. Bryan told me you didn’t turn in yesterday’s assignment.”

“Mr. Bryan didn’t collect the assignment in class.”

“Yes, he did, Star, and he told me yours was blank.”

“I forgot to do it.”

“I understand, so why don’t we take the time to do it now?”

Danny closed his eyes, letting fatigue wash over him. He stretched his fingers out along the table, and his body relaxed.

Just a few more minutes…

The door crashed open, and Danny snapped up, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. For a moment, his eyes flickered over to the white walls, and his throat tightened as imagery of the white halls of the compound flashed at him. He dug his fingernails into his palms, forcing the images away to be met with the stocky form of his missing classmate at the doorway.

“Dason!” Star exclaimed, jumping out of her chair once again. “You’re here!”

The boy—Jason—hardly glanced at the whiteboard before he stalked inside, flipped a chair against the floor, and stomped back out of the room.

“Take a chill pill, Dason,” Ashley called after him. 

Ms. Perez simply sighed and picked up the phone once more.

Danny put his head back down on the table.

“Danny, head up. Break’s over.”

Curse these small classrooms.

He knew he wasn’t subtle about his displeasure at being called out again as he pulled his head from the table and forced his pencil back into his hand.

“Hey, Danny?” Star asked, blinking owlishly at him. “Why don’t you walk at school? I see you do it outside of school.”

Because school had long hallways and he was still too weak, too self-conscious. 

“I have walked at school before,” Danny retorted instead. “You just haven’t seen it.”

“Really?” Star asked. 

“Star, focus on your own work,” Ms. Perez said.

“She’s just trying to get out of doing her homework.”

“Ashley, you too.”

“Where’s Dason?” Star asked.

“Mr. Lancer is handling it.”

The door opened again, and Kwan stepped into the room.

“Back already? How did the quiz go?” Ms. Perez asked.

Kwan shrugged. “It was fine.”

Kwan dropped his bag next to Star and sat down. He briefly made eye contact with Danny, who immediately dropped his gaze back down to his paper.

He wasn’t ready to acknowledge Kwan’s existence yet.

“Hey, why is ‘dason’ written all over the board?” Kwan asked.

Star launched into another fit of giggles.

“Star did it,” was Ashley’s only explanation.

“Danny, Star, how’s that math homework going?” Ms. Perez asked.

Danny stared at the swirling mess on his paper. His brain just really did not want to do math today. “Fantastic.”

“Do five problems and then you can take another break until Mr. Lancer gets here.”

Danny lazily saluted the learning center teacher and tried his best to focus on the squiggly numbers and symbols before him.

Find f(x)...that’s all I need to do…

But who was he kidding? This was all pointless. His dream of working for NASA was as good as dead because his stupid brain didn’t hold information like it used to.

Not that he was ever particularly good at school. He wasn’t like Jazz. It felt like his brain was a colander and school was a pot of water. It didn’t matter how hard he tried, none of the information stayed in.

It didn’t take that long—or it took far too long—before footsteps were at the door and Mr. Lancer was carting Jason-Dason alongside him.

“Dason! Welcome back!” Star waved at him.

“...because you have to stay in class,” Mr. Lancer was saying quietly. “I’m not going to repeat this again, Mr. Cleaver.”

“Whatever.” Jason-Dason grabbed a chair on the other side of Danny’s table, dropped his backpack on the floor, and immediately put his head down into his arms. Ms. Perez didn’t even try to get him to pull out his notebook.

Turning around, Mr. Lancer’s expression morphed into something far brighter. “Alright, Mr. Fenton?”

Danny rolled his eyes and gave him a weak thumbs-up. “Can’t wait to learn about books.”

“I’m sure.” Mr. Lancer dropped into the chair beside Danny and glanced at the pitifully attempted math assignment. “Would you like me to go over anything else first?”

Danny was quick to stuff his assignment into his folder. Out of sight, out of mind. “No—no thanks.”

“Alright, let’s go over the reading from last night. Did you do it?”

Danny shrugged. “I tried.”

He honestly had. But as soon as he looked at the pages, it was like his brain turned into a zombie.

Mr. Lancer, presumably, got the not-so-hidden meaning. “That’s alright, let’s go through the passages, then.”

Danny opened his backpack and began shuffling around for his assigned book when a distantly familiar chill wormed up his throat. He dropped the book back in his bag and sat erect in his chair.

Wild eyes met Mr. Lancer’s, and then he opened his mouth, a puff of frost expelling from his lips.

Mr. Lancer’s eyebrows furrowed. “Mr. Fenton, are you—”

The ghost alarms went off, filling the classroom with green lights. Jack Fenton’s voice blared through the speakers, suffocating the air with, “WARNING: GHOST ALERT. GHOST ALERT.”

The small class was on their feet at once—even Danny, who wasted no time in letting the adrenaline course through his body. He wouldn’t be able to do much, but maybe some scary eyes would be enough to ward off the potential ghost from his territory.

“Damn!” Ms. Perez cursed. “Students, we need to evacuate to the ghost shield in the gym!”

Next to Ms. Perez, the bottom of the wall distorted with a green glow. Danny grabbed the table and braced himself to defend his classmates against—

“Arf! Arf!”

A figure shot through the walls and bounced, wagging its tail. Its purple tongue hung loosely outside of its mouth, and green-tinted ecto-saliva dripped onto the floor.

It took a second to spin around in a circle before it spotted Danny.

“Arf! Arf!” it exclaimed, bouncing through the chairs and quite literally jumping up Danny’s legs.

“Cujo?” Danny said, finally getting enough of a grip to speak.

“You know that dog?” Star asked.

“Yeah, but I don’t understand…” Danny pulled his brows in as he sat back down in his wheelchair, letting Cujo climb onto his lap and start lapping at his face.

It made no sense. His parents said that the emergency ghost alarms—the ones that ordered the complete evacuation of the building—only went off for ghosts that were level four or above. In his small form, Cujo was hardly a level three.

So either the ghost alarms were faulty, or Cujo wasn’t the only ghost here.

“Babypop!” a new voice sang out over the prerecorded wails of Jack Fenton.

A blue blur of a ghost rushed down from the ceiling and halted right in front of him. Her teal hair was pulled up behind her, accentuating the bluish tint of her pale skin. She wore her usual ghostly getup of a black top on black bottoms, and her purple and blue electric guitar was slung across her back.

Ah, that would explain the emergency alarms.

Ember McLain slugged his arm, grinning widely. “You’re back!”

Danny was more than a little aware of the audience watching the interaction. And, from some insecure ghostly part of himself, he was also more than aware that this was his first ghostly encounter where he was—well—forced to be human.

Not that the humans would understand the ecto-psychology at play here, and he would rather die than explain it to anyone, but Ember certainly would understand.

Which sucked. 

“Hey—hey, Ember,” he said, trying to play it cool.

“Hey, what the fuck is up with this fire alarm thing?”

“Mr. Fenton?” Lancer asked from beside him.

“Holy shit, is that Ember McLain?” Kwan stared dumbfounded. “I listen to your album all the time!”

Star’s jaw dropped. “Ember’s a ghost?”

“WARNING: GHOST ALERT. EVACUATE. GHOST ALERT.”

Jack’s voice was starting to get more than a little piercing.

“Hey!” Danny called to Lancer. “Can we turn the ghost alarm off?”

“Mr. Fenton, you know we have to wait for your parents—”

“She’s an ally, she’s not going to attack! And this is my—er, uh. Well, my ghost-dog friend. He’s harmless.” So long as he doesn’t feel threatened, at least. 

“I’m sorry, but you know that I can’t do that.”

“I promise there’s no need to evacuate.”

“You guys were going to evacuate on my account?” Ember repositioned her guitar on her back. “Well, I’m flattered that you think so highly of me. But no, if I wanted to start something, I wouldn’t have brought the dog.”

As if to prove the point, Cujo leaped off Danny’s lap and began bouncing over to everyone else in the room, lapping their shins and sniffing their shoes.

“Arf! Arf!”

Lancer sighed and walked into the hallway. A moment later, the ghost alarm was off.

Danny let out a breath of relief and turned his attention back to the two ghosts in front of him.

“Jeez, Danny, you better have a real good explanation for this.” Ashley folded her arms.

“No, it’s—” Danny sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Ghosts weren’t good at deciphering boundaries on the best of days. To them, the whole of Amity Park was Phantom’s territory. So if they wanted to see Phantom, they just entered his territory.

And that included places they shouldn’t go, like the school.

“Well, alarm or no, Ms. Ember and, erm, her dog are trespassing, and I will have to ask her to leave,” Lancer said, reappearing at the doorway.

“Okay, can I just talk to her in the hall for like two minutes first?” Danny asked.

“No, Mr. Fenton. Absolutely not.”

“But she’s—“

“I’m more than aware of your little scuffles before,” Lancer said, crossing his arms. “Besides, your parents will be arriving shortly. Ms. Ember, if you would?”

Ember huffed, scooping up Cujo. “Whatever. Babypop, I’ll see you later.”

“Bye,” Danny said awkwardly, glancing around at his classmates. “I’ll find you in—in the spot.”

Ember nodded and left, disappearing through the ceiling.

There was a beat of silence before Kwan broke it. “I can’t believe you know Ember!”

****

The moon was bright later that night. Nearly full, Danny realized, and its light along with some wispy clouds blocked much of the glittering night sky from view. 

He thought back to the Reddit post where the Amity Park astronomy club had told Sam and Tucker to pass him an open invitation. His friends had presumably forgotten about that comment, but Danny thought maybe he should check out the club anyway. Maybe it would be good for him to get back into his hobbies.

He hovered on top of the Nasty Burger building. He remembered the first time he and Ember had somewhat mended their differences. It had been here too, atop this building, when Ember had come to Earth for just a few hours to listen to a band’s new album.

Damn, it was so long ago. So much had changed.

Danny looked over where a burn mark had scorched the cement. He smiled to himself. Much had changed, sure, but some things were still the same.

A breath of cold air hit his lungs, and he turned around to see Ember holding a chip bag with one hand and Cujo with the other. 

Cujo didn’t hesitate to wiggle out of Ember’s hold and bound over to him, tongue flopping. Danny sank onto the roof, holding his arms out. The little dog leaped into them and excitedly licked his neck.

“Hey, buddy,” Danny said, tilting his chin up to avoid the wrath of Cujo’s tongue on his face. “I missed you too!”

Ember snorted, touching down on the roof. She opened the potato chips, and the smell of salt and oil immediately permeated the air.

“Did you even pay for this?” Danny asked.

“What are you, a cop?” Ember munched on a chip. “I swear, this is like the one thing the Zone can never get right.”

Danny raised his brow, giving her an are-you-kidding-me look.

She rolled her eyes and held out the bag, rattling it. “Come on, I know you want some.”

“Whatever.” Danny rolled his eyes but nonetheless grabbed a handful. “You still need to pay for this, though.”

“Never change, babypop.” 

Danny chomped on the (stolen) chips, basking in the two a.m. salty taste. And for a moment, the two of them just sat there unbothered, eating chips and throwing pebbles across the roof for Cujo to pounce on.

And when Cujo eventually tired, he snuggled between them, facing Danny. His paws pressed into Danny’s ghostly tail, and his nose nuzzled into where his thigh would be.

It hurt more than Ember would ever know that he couldn’t feel the dog against his legs. But she didn’t need to know the extent of his injuries, at least not right now.

“So, you’re back,” Ember started, failing to hide the curiosity in her tone.

He tried to give her a carefree smile as he responded with, “Yeah. Finally, right?” But he was sure he looked as uncomfortable as he felt, and he knew that the way his core faltered and tensed would not be lost on Ember.

“I mean…okay, I’m just going to say it. The hell happened?” asked Ember. “What did they do to you? When you didn’t come back right away, I figured they fucked with your core somehow. And I was right. Your core doesn’t feel right anymore.”

“What do you mean?” 

Sure he was weaker, but he didn’t feel any different. Not like…before. When the scalpel had first pierced him. Not like that. Disgusting, violated. 

Ember squinted at him, and Danny tried to quell the anxiety that he was surely projecting onto her. 

Stupid ghosts and their stupid emotion-sensing abilities.

But then she snapped out of her scrutiny, rolling her eyes, saying, “Jeez, chill. I don’t mean like you’re a whole different ghost now, I’m just saying that your core feels weaker.” She punched his arm lightly. “Been a minute, huh? What took you so long to get back in the air?”

“Oh.” Danny flushed, embarrassed. Because of course, she didn’t mean it like that. He was just being anxious and insecure again. “You know, I—I wanted to…lull you guys into a false sense of security. Make you think I was—wasn’t protecting Amity anymore. Just some classic ghostly manipulation.”

“Yeah, sure. Totally believe that.”

“I know.” The grin fell off Danny’s face, fickle as it was. 

Well, there was no use trying to sugarcoat the truth. Not with the ghosts in danger of this happening to them too.

“Courts decided I was human enough to exist. Cause, you know—” Danny held up his hand and shook out his wrist. “—I got a—a pulse and stuff. When I’m human, I mean. A heart—heartbeat too.”

He waited for the implication to process, and when Ember’s eyes sparked with recognition and her face immediately dropped to a scowl, he shrugged and let his hand fall back to his side.

“Oh, wonderful,” said Ember. “So you’re safe, but there’s nothing stopping the rest of us from getting messed up like that?” 

Well, ouch.

“Sorry.”

Ember snorted. “Well, if you wanted ghosts to stay out of the human realm, you’ll probably convince most of them.”

“Haven’t they…everyone’s been avoiding Amity anyway, right?” Danny asked.

“Well, duh, idiot. You getting captured was kind of a big fucking deal in our little sect of the Infinite Realms. You should have heard the rumors.”

He wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to hear them. Because he wasn’t sure how much he could lie to the other ghosts, and he didn’t want to be the one to tell them just how many of their rumors were true.

He looked up at the sky, noting the sprinkle of stars that had won their fight against the city’s light pollution and the full moon. “I heard Skulker tried to bust me out.”

“Yeah.” Ember’s tone was off, and when Danny looked over, some speckles of green had appeared on her cheeks. 

…huh?

“The idiot’s ego can be too much sometimes,” she said, a hint of a smile curling on her lips.

Danny didn’t know what that look meant, but he was also a hundred percent sure that he did not want to know, thank you very much. “Well, tell him I said—uh, said, you know, thanks. For trying. It meant a lot.”

“I’ll pass it along.” Ember shifted, and suddenly her face was serious again. “What did they want from you?”

“The Guys in White?” 

“Yeah.”

“Well…” Danny gently rubbed behind Cujo’s ear, trying to crush the sudden anxiety that was threatening to spike him. “Power. They wanted power.”

“Like, from you?”

“Yeah. My core. Ectoplasm.” Danny took a shuttering breath. Despite the relaxation help he had pumping through his veins, just the mere mention of the topic had him suppressing the onslaught of memories that were trying to breach the metaphorical thermos he’d crammed them into. “The government liked my—my ectoplasm because it’s more dense than the blob ghosts they—they had. They…would hook me to these…these…these machines, and they’d take the ecto—ectoplasm from me. Just every day. And eventually—I don’t know. I don’t really remember how it escalated.” He touched his prickling chest, trying to cool the misfiring nerves above his core. 

“Like…” Ember tilted her head, her eyes narrowing. “They cut you up?”

Danny squirmed. This was quickly getting into personal territory, and the ghosts and he didn’t exactly have the same relationship that he had with his therapist. 

“Sort of,” he responded as evenly as he could.

She didn’t hold back. “They wanted your core.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” he said a little too bitterly.

There was a pause between them, and tension crackled in the air as Danny raised his aura to mask the shame that was crawling up his throat. 

“Well, did they get it?” asked Ember.

Like hell was he going to react in front of a ghost.

“Why does it matter if they did? Since when do you care?”

“Of course I care.” Ember crossed her arms, frowning. “If the enemy got your core, who knows what they’ll do to the rest of us.”

Oh. Right.

Of course.

How could he be so stupid to hold even a flicker of hope that anyone actually cared about him? Least of all Ember, a ghost that he’d fought on more than one occasion. 

But instead of snapping, he shrugged, defeated. Maybe disappointed. Who knew? Not him. 

“Then don’t get caught,” he said simply.

Ember was already probably pitying him enough. He didn’t need to add ‘crybaby’ to the list of reasons why he wasn’t a good protector of Amity anymore. 

The silence stretched on between them. Because duh, “don’t get caught” was a stupid, obvious thing to say. And it wasn’t exactly like Danny had been trying to get caught either.

He had never exactly been close with any of the ghosts, but this social divide between them? Yeah, that was new. Before, he at least had his strong core to go off of. Ghosts liked strength; they could respect him for defending Amity so well. But now…

Cujo yawned beside him, shifting around so his back was curled into Danny’s tail and his paws were outstretched to graze Ember’s thigh.

“So…they did get it, then,” said Ember. “Your core.”

“That’s—that’s not—” Danny stumbled, his brain once again more than acutely aware of the social dynamics at play. He grunted, frustrated, before pushing through. “That’s not why my—my core is…” He took a deep breath. “I know I’m out of practice, but I—I really am fine. My core’s not…you know, suffering permanent damages or anything. I’ll be—I’ll be back to normal with a little bit of training. It just…I couldn’t access my powers for a bit. That’s all.”

And he really hoped that was clear, because fuck no he didn’t want ‘Phantom is a weakling’ to spread across the Ghost Zone.

He felt a light tap on his arm again, and he looked over to see Ember’s glowing fist hovering just above his skin. “Well, you’re back now. Fuck those guys.”

“Right,” he said. “But seriously, you have to tell the ghosts what…I mean, it’s dangerous to be here right now. The Guys in—the government doesn’t—”

“Chill. I know I’m in danger by being here. Jeez, let a girl live a little.”

The only reason why the Guys in White went “easy” on him was because he had a human half at all. The full ghosts? The government didn’t have a reason to cater to their afterlives. If Ember was caught…well, she was disposable enough for the Guys in White to not give a crap about taking her whole core.

But Danny couldn’t say this without sounding like an asshole. “Just tell them. Please.”

“Sure, whatever, babypop.” Ember popped another chip in her mouth. “But don’t expect the others to listen, you know. They’ll probably just think I’m keeping you all to myself or something.”

“I’m not a toy, Ember.”

“But you’ve got the portal.”

“It’s not my portal.”

“But it’s in your territory.”

Yeah, by the unwritten ghost rules, that did actually make it “his” portal. “Even more reason for—for the others to leave me alone.”

Ember shrugged and poked Cujo. “Hey, lazy. If you sleep right now, you won’t be tired later and then you’re going to want to play when I’m tired.”

Cujo blinked up at her with sleep still in his eyes. Then he stuck out his tongue and lapped her fingers.

“Ugh, gross!” Ember shook out her hand. “The chips aren’t for you.”

Now with the taste of chips on his tongue, Cujo perked up and sniffed toward the bag.

“No! Not for you!” Ember scolded him, swiping the chips from the ground before he could make his attempted pounce. “You’ll throw up if you eat these. Hang on…I’ve got…”

Danny smiled absentmindedly, scratching Cujo’s back. Seeing these two interact…yeah, Danny was glad that he’d managed to convince Ember to take in Cujo last year after one of Cujo’s escapades into the Human World landed him too close to being captured by Jack and his Fenton Ghost Catcher. It was clear that Cujo needed an owner, and Ember needed some company other than Skulker.

Ember pulled out a glowing plastic baggie from her pocket. “Carrots! Here you go.”

“Carrots?” 

“You never heard of that? Carrots are really good for dogs,” Ember said. She shook the bag, now addressing Cujo. “You want these? You want the carrots?”

Judging by his drooling mouth and the small whine that escaped his lips, Cujo did, in fact, very much want the carrots.

“Hang on, wait…” Danny guffawed, putting a hand to his mouth to stifle his laughter. “Wait, wait, wait. Ember, did—did you cut up the carrots?”

“Of course I did!” She said, pelting him with a tiny chunk of carrot. 

It rolled off of his head, and he clutched his stomach, rolling into the air in a fit of giggles.

“It makes it easier for him to chew!” 

“Oh my god,” he wheezed. Never in a thousand years would he have guessed Ember of all ghosts would be catering to a puppy. 

Ember tossed a carrot piece in the air, watching as Cujo leaped up and caught it in his mouth. “You’re just jealous you didn’t think of it first.”

“Sure.”

“Whatever.” She turned to Cujo again. “Is babypop jealous of me? What do you think, little guy?”

Danny grabbed the carrot chunk from the ground and threw it back at Ember. Ever the ghost, she turned intangible, letting it sail through her. 

Cujo, however, prevented it from hitting the ground again.

“Good boy!” Ember praised him.

Danny rose, stretching. “Anyway, I gotta get home before—before anyone realizes I—I’ve been gone. Uh…thanks for coming.”

“Yeah, nice to see you, dude. I’ll relay your message to the others. Don’t worry.”

“Thanks.”

“And babypop?” she said, her brows knitting together as she studied him once more. Her eyes lingered on his chest.

“Yeah?” 

She was silent for a moment longer. Then the spell broke, and her easygoing smile was back on her lips. “Heal up quickly, alright? Skulker’s ego’s too high right now. Someone needs to take him down a notch, if you catch my drift.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Danny gave her a two-fingered salute and flew off into the night, glancing back only once to see their receding forms. Like with most of his rogue gallery, Danny didn’t think any relationship between them would ever become a true friendship. An allyship? Certainly, but there was still too much history combined with a cavern of differences between Danny and the rest of the ghosts to get much closer than a few minutes of awkward conversation. All of them, Ember included, were ghosts—full ghosts. And Danny? Well…he wasn’t.

Even if the media still tried to pin that label on him. When they weren’t calling him a mutant freak, that was.

A few minutes later, he was invisibly crossing through his window. Muscle memory was kind to him, and the motions of closing his curtains and checking his surroundings before popping back into visibility and transforming back into his human form were hardly more than an unremarkable thought in his mind. The government could take away much, but not everything, it seemed.

He settled into bed, his eyes lingering on his nightstand drawer. Maybe he could…

But no.

He was turning a new leaf.

He was the model halfa now. Someone who did well in school, who didn’t fall asleep in class, who was a good son, nice to his family, and wasn’t a failure in every way. He was better, he was going to be better.

He could be even better if he just opened the drawer…peeked at the inside…what’s one more pill, Danny? What are you afraid of?

No, he was better now.

He was better now.

****

Huge thank you to @imekitty for being an amazing beta for this chapter and honestly the voice of reason here. Ended up taking her direction a LOT during the writing process and I'm really glad I did!

****

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[buoyantsaturn]

C.J. buoyantsaturn's 2023 year in review

JANUARY

But I can't help getting caught up in it all [12,446 words] summary: Nico, Leo, and Will are living their happily ever after - until an old friend moves back into town.

FEBUARY

Then you hold life like a face between your palms ... and you say, yes, I will take you / I will love you, again. [4,718 words] summary: “You’re still going to marry me someday, right?” Nico’s head snapped up, drizzling paint across the floor as he lifted the roller from the pan too early - which was exactly why they’d chosen to finish up painting first. Nico snorted, a gorgeous sound that sent Will’s heart fluttering. “Of course I am. What kind of question is that?”

MARCH

crocheted mushroom [1,618 words] summary: It had started off with something Will had mentioned in passing - a specific plant that only grew in the Underworld with its own magical healing myth. The next time Nico had gone to run an errand for his father, he returned with the flower, pressed and fragile, blandly announcing to Will that - according to Persephone - the myth was bullshit, even if the flower was pretty.

APRIL

How many kinds of love might there be in the world, and how many formations might they make [5,908 words] summary: Nico turned toward his husband with a smile, crossing his arms over his chest. He took a second to admire the work that Will and Annabeth had done - she’d designed a coop that was a perfect scale replica of the Apollo cabin back at camp, complete with nesting boxes where the bunk beds were placed. Nico called back, “Where do you think we’re going to find magic chickens in the middle of Texas?” Or, five friends who come to visit Nico and Will, and one who doesn't.

MAY

Work and play, they're never okay to mix the way we do [77,579 words] summary: “We don’t have an appointment,” Reyna stated without greeting, lifting her eyes from her computer screen to look at them both, though her hands stayed where they were on her home row keys. “We shouldn’t be long,” Jason replied as he took a seat in one of the chairs opposite her desk. When Nico didn’t move to follow, Jason glanced back at him and nodded to the other open seat. He didn’t speak again until after Nico had sat down. “We want Will Solace to open for Lost Heroes when we go out on our next tour.”

JUNE

Put the Car in Drive (don't stop running 'til you're long gone) [17,487 words] summary: Because, no matter what, Will would always come home to Nico. 

JULY

lemon drops [3,753 words] summary: "Um. Did you ever do the whole…law school…thing, like you said you wanted to? Because I think I might need a lawyer.” 

AUGUST

Doctor Doctor, Give Me the News (I've Got a Bad Case of Loving You) [29,023 words] summary: As he started out from behind the reception area for the first time in four hours, Leo called out to him, “Hey, by the way, Apollo’s doing that thing again where he talks about adding more staff members. Just be prepared, ‘cause you know he’s going to ask your opinion. Since you’re his favorite, and all.”

SEPTEMBER

(all i really want is to be your) Boyfriend [2,941 words] summary: “Nico, you’re never going to believe this!” Hazel exclaimed. “CPR got back together!” Nico turned his face toward the ceiling, wondering what he could have possibly done to deserve this.

OCTOBER

yet i need to talk to you [4,116 words] summary: “Being away from you just makes me think about how I never want to be without you, and--” Nico snorted. “Are you asking me to marry you? Haven’t we done this already?” 

NOVEMBER

Remember nights we spent on hard wood floors [67,859 words] summary: A sudden, tense silence passed between them. “Is it really this easy to start a band?” Lou asked. “Probably not,” Nico replied, “but we should meet up sometime to see what we can do.”

DECEMBER

bear skin rug [1,077 words] summary: Nico spun back around, a bright smile on his face as he said to Will, “See? How cool is--” Black spots danced in his eyes, and before he could say another word, Nico passed out.