#she wont change. at all. period. if she does ur lucky or she's faking it

[manate-a]

idk man i love metaing about keiko she really is a favourite, theres so much depth i could add and i do! but in my head bcuz im lazy and cant write but she............... just. she’s fun. she’s fun and she’s fucking awful and so tragic, it’s like real tragedy with no good ending bc there CAN’T be a good ending for her, she won’t ALLOW herself to have a good ending and no outside force could ever change that because she’s come to terms with what she does and who she is and that awareness is more horrifying than anyone numb / unaware or closed off from what they’re doing.

she won’t change, she won’t improve and if she does it’ll be for a set person, a set time, until she gets her kicks. she lives in perpetuity and as painful as it is, she is, i like that she’s so content??? with not getting that ending. she lost that sense to her years ago, if you met her when she was 19, 20, she was so much different ( kinder, shyer, full of warm day dreams and cold nightmares, but she was coping nonetheless ) and that’s the path or the branch i’ve always thought about because. that’s when it changes for her, that’s when she has the opportunity to be different, to still be her but the ‘original’ her that wasn’t damaged over time and turned into a cynical, homicidal, entity fueled on selfish desires and hatred for herself & things she couldn’t predict nor change. she took what happened to her and weaponized it until she skewed every part of her that was virtuous. she doesn’t want to help people anymore, and kindness makes her ill which is smth you’ll notice if she gets close to someone who IS like that, she’ll never hang around their presence for long and they’ll either end up a corpse or with her missing from their life.

she couldn’t ever be around charlie for instance, she’d want to rip that pretty blonde head from her shoulder’s --- she wouldn’t power aside (the same would go if charlie was human for examp) because maybe a part of her feels guilty, a warped kind of empathy for her knowing how fucked up the world is (prolly sees her old self in charlie too), and she’d just leave. she’d fuck around and toy with charlie’s ideas and ambitions until it was no longer funny, no longer amusing, and she’d disappear before she did something damaging. she knows well enough that there are people who need kindness in their life, she missed out her chance for that but it doesn’t mean there aren’t any others who deserve to go down the path she went, so she leaves virtuous people and mentally wishes luck. those people will always portrude a sense of sorrow that’s so overwhelming for her she numbs it with what she knows best.