#she was what introduced me to the world of murder and psychological thrillers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

missyasf · 4 years

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Game Of Hearts

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↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.

↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader

↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller

Word Count: 11k

___| Next

Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together!

Side mention: This could be considered a prequel to the current Alice In Borderland. I’m writing based off the Manga bc I was a glutton and couldn’t wait no spoilers will be present as of...

Escapism

noun

the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy ♡

You had known all about this during your short lifespan, as a child you’d often play pretend with your sister that you were movie stars living in a five star hotel rather than the shitty busted up apartment on the wrong side of town. Escapism came in, many forms. It was often a way for people to cope psychologically, simply because sometimes, facing the reality of your situation can be too much for one person to handle mentally.

Or at least, that was the topic of your lecture today in class. The human mind always fascinated you. Even at the young tender age when your mom died and you watched your once cozy little family fall apart piece by piece until nothing was left in its wake.

It was your fascination that drove you now for most things, why? Why, why, why? You always wondered what the motive was behind someone’s actions, not only thing but you wanted to understand them better, to try and sympathize. You were already fairly intuitive in nature. It wasn’t difficult to read people. In fact your line of work made it easy, you’d watch a man who would be excited to be with you reach for his left finger as if used to touching something. A wedding band perhaps?

The lowlife cheater was fairly common in a whore house after all. Or the man who had been pissy this morning behind you in line because you had decided to try something new on the menu and you weren’t fast enough, obviously because he was tardy and woke up late, his shirt unbeknownst to him was button the wrong way and his tie loose and even the way his hair fell were all signs of being late to work.

It was the little things you noticed in people’s facial expressions, the way they moved and spoke. You could read people like a book, and sure sometimes it was useful. But you often wished you weren’t so perceptive. It drove you mad knowing when a potential love interest was no longer interested through a simple text or a friend not wanting to talk by their tone. Sometimes you wished you could just blot it all out, still, you lived like this day in and day out, you were used to this kind of thing and honestly. Friends? Love? Your gaze dropped a little to your feet, the pumps you were wearing a jet black and the heel too high for any respectable woman to ever wear.

...It wasn’t like you ever had any of those in your life and you had struggled to come to terms with the fact that you could survive without that kind of support. Still...it made you envious, the couple happily holding hands on the sidewalk. The group of friends all laughing at a table while they studied. Oftentimes these feelings are muted, but when you’re faced with something you’ve always craved, those muted feelings suddenly become hyperactive in your mind.

It’s pathetic, honestly.

“How dare you! You disgusting slut!”

In this moment however, you were brought back to reality at just what was happening, you squeaked loudly as you dodged the shoe the woman had thrown at you. This was all a regular occurrence, you had a lot of regulars who weren’t the most amazing people but hey, money was money. But along with them they also left a trail which their wives and girlfriends always followed. And then they always blamed you instead of their partner for leaving them for a prostitute despite you never having agreed to anything such as that.

It really wasn’t your fault, you were just trying to make a living while juggling with keeping up your own education, paying your fathers debts, rent and still somehow getting food on the table. What part time college job could provide that?

Prostitution wasn’t a job you would’ve gone into willingly but given the past and your trauma that was already laced in it you had been learning that sometimes because of the trauma we experience, sometimes people go back to that same trauma and actively participate in it as a way of feeling like they’re in control.

That whatever happened before, would never happen again if you were in control. You weren’t sure if you qualified under this category, trauma came in many forms but the one most used as an example in your class was that a study showed that women who were assaulted often develop a kink for consensual non consent as a way of coping with what happened, except this time, it’s in a controlled environment where it can end the moment they want it too.

Again, you weren’t sure you fell into this category, but you often wondered if your line of work was intertwined with your earlier memories when you were younger, if anything it brought comfort to you. Much of it, blotted out now simply because your mind couldn’t take it. Trauma expressed through amnesia was also much more common than many thought, and it’s so small, so easy to miss. After all how can you be aware of something if you have no memory of it anymore?

“Security!” Your manager screeched, two of the bodyguards were already between you and the feral woman who was ready to gut you clean as she screamed hysterically, her husband...your regular....at her side trying to get her to calm down only for her to come to her senses and slap him clean across the face. You didn’t condone violence, but he did have it coming...

You weren’t about to justify cheaters, you couldn’t imagine the hurt someone had to feel that not only did their partner cheat on them, but it was with someone...like you...You had been trying not to put down your job occupation, sex workers were just as valid as anyone else...you knew you would’ve thought this way if it was anyone but you in this position.

You sighed as you ran your hands through your hair, watching the couple get dragged out of the tight space of the brothel, “Jesus christ....didn’t you say you stopped using perfume because of this?” Miki, your manager sighed as she crossed her arms. You didn’t want to say your manager was your friend but she was the closest you had as you’d often complain to her about most of your problems. Sex work often attracted broken people, it wasn’t something she wasn’t used to.

“Yeah, but apparently he never got around to washing his clothes…” You wiped your mouth on the back of your hand, “Lipstick stain,” You glanced down at the ruby pink color that stained your skin now, “Fuck...that did hurt.” You rubbed your sore cheek that was still throbbing from where she had first slapped it when she ripped the door open of the room where she got to see with her own eyes you riding her husband.

It had happened so many times now you weren’t even embarrassed about someone walking in let alone a partner. Miki gave you a lopsided smile as she patted your shoulder, “Guess that just pays for being one of the best here. Did you at least get paid.”

You nodded, “Yeah, I always make them pay in advanced but I was hoping to get a tip afterwards...He was a lawyer so you know he had good money.” You sighed, crossing your arms, you were well aware of his partner because a lot of the time he didn’t even come in for sex anymore. It was funny how humans work.

He often felt his wife was overbearing and you had suspected some sort of verbal abuse by the way he talked about her constant screaming. Truthfully, you don’t think he ever intended on cheating with her. He just wanted someone to talk to without being judged, you could relate with sympathy to that, but he unfortunately chose to walk into a brothel instead of a therapy clinic and this truly was the only inevitable outcome. Still, you hope if for anyone’s sake, he gets that divorce for himself.

“Hey I think I’m gonna call it a day. I need to get back to Nanami, she was wanting to talk to me about college applications.” You sighed as you rubbed your neck, ever since she had graduated high school she had been chomping at the bit to start applying for college, maybe to just get out of the house and into a dorm. You couldn’t blame her and if she did that it would lighten your load a little.

Guilt washed over you at the thought as Miki chuckled, “They grow up pretty fast huh? My brother was the same way, except the moment he found out I was a sex worker was the moment he called me a whore and we haven’t talked since. That was probably about five years ago,” She crossed her arms as she sighed, “Crazy how the things we do for the ones we love, never appreciate our effort...I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“If I’m not bruising.” You offered a weak smile as you nodded at her before going back to your room to get changed. Truthfully, you much like anyone else, often wished you could go to a world where reality wasn’t a concept any longer. Where you could lay out in the sun for the whole day and just soak up it’s rays with no worries or trepidations.

But sooner then later everyone had to face their fears. Even you, you supposed. But no matter how hard you fought your demons, they always came back tenfold. Again, you supposed your story was no different from tens of thousands, and yet you all live on regardless. Maybe it’s you who should be the one seeking therapy. Pulling on your jeans and the cropped top over your head before pulling the jacket over your arms and grabbing your bag.

The walk home was as quiet as ever, your hood over your head and earbuds any unwanted attention, it wasn’t too late at night, only eleven PM and your work had just been getting started but that had ruined the night for you and besides, you had already failed a test today, you could use the sleep tonight.

Occasionally you’d hear the sirens of a cop car passing by or a bystander shout, nothing out of the ordinary in this neighborhood. Walking up to the apartment complex you pulled the key from your bag as you unlocked the door. Quietly stepping insides as you shut the door before locking it once more. Your nose wrinkled at the smell of stale air mixed with rotten...something…

If anything, you were always lacking in something, you had been so busy most of the day that you never had time to clean anything leaving the house in a horrible state. Not that you thought this was much of a house.

Walking down the narrow hallway you opened the rickety door with a missing lock as you gave a brief smile to the small clump of bedsheets. Your sister was curled up and on her phone, eyes darting to the door with a hint of fear before she jumped up, “Y/n! You’re home earlier from night shift already!?”

You offered a smile as you set down your bag and nodded, sitting down on the mattress that laid on the floor as you replied, “Yeah, a coworker needed the extra hours so I let them cover for me tonight. Besides, you wanted to talk about college applications?” Your sister was under the impression your late night job was bartending at some hole in the wall downtown, where in all actuality you just went there to drink a few days and talk to the loud and sometimes obnoxious, but good hearted bartender who loved talking about his nerdy underaged friends that couldn’t do anything beside stay and drink soda.

It wasn’t that you didn’t think your sister would accept you, if she knew what you were actually doing. Fear, most times came in many different forms and this was one of them. You simply didn’t want to be judged, even by her. So nobody in your life truly knew who you were, and therefore, how could you hold the expectation for people to accept you into society if you were already self sabotaging yourself?

All philosophy aside, you were simply a lost soul, looking for your way in the cruel reality called life.

“Yes!” Nanami was chipper as always as she squealed, clapping her hands, “I…! I was thinking about applying to the university you attend! Maybe I'll get a grant and move into the dorms there? I already applied for several jobs, I’m just waiting on a callback!”

You offered a small smile as you hugged your knees to your chest, “I think you’d like it there, there’s lots to do around campus. But what will you go in for? The only advice I can offer is be sure it’s what you want to do.”

Nanami’s face faltered a little as she hummed, “Well...I thought maybe working with animals? I’d love to be an assistant surgeon in veterinarian? I know it’s a pretty...sad job but...I really like the idea of being able to heal such innocent things.” Your smile tugged into a gentle one at your sister. She was too tender for this world.

It had been your goal sense the day your mother died that you took care of your sister, it didn’t matter what happened to you. You could rot for all you cared at the end of the day, all you wanted was to look up and see your sister's smile and her happiness in life blossom. She more than anyone deserved it.

“I think you’ll be great at it.” You encouraged as you rested your chin on your hand, always happy to see her bounce in excitement as you yawned, your body was used to your demanding schedule but it was always more than happy to welcome a few extra hours of sleep.”

Hearing the door loudly slam close caused you both to jump, Nanami hurriedly crawled back in bed, pretending to be asleep as you frowned. Your dad must’ve come back home from wherever he was.

“Y/n! Just stay here! Can’t you talk to him later?” Nanami looked scared, she always did when he was around. But you weren’t about to stand down to the bastard any day of the week, you offered a weak smile as you replied.

“It’s fine Nami, I’ll be just a few minutes.” You replied, you knew that she knew, that was probably a lie. But you’d try your best, for her sake at least. But somebody had to put this guy in his place occasionally and it was always you. It results in a lot of screaming sometimes, other times he’d break down in tears or on a bad occasion you’d get shoved to the ground, a few times hit. Nothing major.

Walking out of the room you leaned against the wall of the entrance of the hallway watching your father stumble around in the living room, “Did you finally talk to the loan company?” You called out as you asked, not in a forgiving mood tonight. He had said he’d do this for two weeks in a row. The company that sank your whole family into the ground. The reason your mother couldn’t take it anymore and put a blade to her wrist.

Your father stood up, looking a little wobbly, obviously drunk, “Now listen here little girl I don’t have shit to own to you or anyone else.” You sighed as you tucked your tongue into your cheek, annoyance flowing inside you as you straightened up. You weren’t going to be bullied into being scared of this guy.

“Actually you do,” Your smile twisted into something more sharp, more bitter and sinister as you walked forward, “See, if you hadn’t of gotten involved in something shady like loan sharks we wouldn’t be drowning in debt and mom wouldn’t have killed herself because of you and both your daughters wouldn’t hate you. I know you drink away all our money in some pathetic attempt to escape from the cold reality that you fucked up your whole life and watched your family slip from your fingers while not even trying to do anything other then put us in further shit,” You closed your eyes as you tilted your head, “But the least you could do, is admit that. You owe us at least that for being a total fuck up.”

You opened your eyes to find pure rage brewing in your fathers eyes as you smiled once more, this time a false sense of sickly sweet tone to it as you shrugged, “Or you could live in denial, at this point, there really isn’t anything you can do to get anyone back ♡ ”

You had turned around, planning to tell Nanami that maybe she should go sleep over at a friends house today but you never got the chance, suddenly being slammed into the wall and flecks of spit hitting your face, “I am your fucking father! I deserve respect from you and your worthless sister! Do you know how much I provide for you both?”

Anger splintered through your veins as you grabbed onto his wrists, his fingers digging into your neck as you squirmed, “Like fucking what!? A shitty broken down apartment that your vacant from because you’re too fucking ashamed of yourself to even look at us sober!?”

Much like years in the past you weren’t surprised to hear Nanami cry as she rushed out of the room at the sound of you both screaming, “Stop!” She cried out, trying to break you both up, “Stop! Don’t fight! Why…! Why can’t we all just get along!” She sobbed only for your dad to shove her down making her curl up in defeat.

Alarm bells were triggered in your head at the sight of Nanami on the ground, she had never actually gotten hurt while in your sight and it was triggering something deep inside you as you watched him stalk up to her. Your hands shaking and rage boiling in your mind as you grabbed the closet thing you could find. An empty beer bottle on the table.

Your vision blurred and you don’t quite remember what happened other than glass shattering over his head and the brute force of you shoving something before blood was stained on your hands.

How did you end up sitting against the wall? Why was there….blood on your hands…? Your fingers trembled at the metallic sticky substance. All you could hear were Nanami’s sobs and cries as she frantically pushed herself away from the body slumped on the ground.

“You…! He…!” Nanami’s eyes brimmed with tears as you heard a loud boom making you jump, your eyes darting to the open window where….fireworks, big and bold crashed and crackled before you felt like you were sucked into a vortex making your whole vision black out.

Your head felt fuzzy and there was ringing in your ears as you groaned, curling up into yourself as the darkness beckoned you closer before you forcibly opened your eyes. You were laying against the hardwood floor. Beams of light streaked through the window and you could see dust particles in the air against the shower of sunshine that streamed in.

...Wait...Light? The thought had perplexed your head enough to make you push up from the ground, memories pulling into your mind as your breath became shallow, suddenly looking to the side where...you slumped against the wall. It must’ve just been a bad dream….your eyes flickered to Nanami’s curled up figure...a really vivid dream…? Something wrenched in your gut as you rubbed your eyes. What happened? “Nami…!” You whispered, forcing your muscles to move despite their protest as she whined.

After another moment she reluctantly opened her eyes, flickering around before she suddenly scrambled up, taking a deep breath as if realizing what had happened before, looking towards where your dad once was she frowned, “...I...What…” She seemed just as perplexed as you and if her face was anything to go by, last night had obviously happened, “Is dad…” She looked at the absent place of the floor.

Leaning against the wall your eyes darted around the room, “I guess so…” You silently felt relief at knowing your dad was still very much alive as you leaned back as you closed your eyes, trying to remember what had happened before everything went dark...oh..! The fireworks...had it been a celebration last night? Your brows pinched together, something felt...off...getting up you opened the door to the apartment walking out.

“Y/n? Y/n! Hey! Where are you going!” Nanami called out, quickly chasing after you as you frowned, cars were parked odd and there was no one out on the street...as in...at all...Something was very wrong and you couldn’t figure out what.

“Wow...it..must be a slow day…” Nanami felt a sense of discomfort at the lack of life as you both walked down the side walk, it didn’t just feel like a slow day it felt, apocalyptic. As if humanity just left on it’s own leaving nothing but an empty city behind. Cars were parked on the curb and a few even left in the street.

“No, it’s like everyone vanished...This is really weird.” You wrapped your arms around yourself as you frowned, looking around as you came closer to where typically it would be a booming part of the downtown but it was empty, just as everything before.

“Well, maybe it’s a national holiday?” Nanami rubbed her head, trying to make sense of the situation just as much as you, surely everyone wasn’t...gone...right? She looked around as she bit her lip, second guessing herself at all the cars that were vacant, “Hey Y/n.”

You paused as you looked at your sister, curving an eyebrow as she offered a weak smile, “What if everyone got raptured away like they talk about in christanity?” Your expression flattened as she giggled, obviously getting a rise out of you as you crossed your arms.

Raptured? Where? To heaven? “Wouldn’t it be fire and brimstone then if that was the case?” Nanami pouted at your words as you shrugged, snickering yourself at her expression, the tables now turned as you sighed, “I don’t think there’s anyone left in Tokyo...I mean, it feels like...we’d have seen someone by now...right?”

“Well…” Nanami frowned once more, a little disturbed at your words as she spoke, “There’s no way everyone could be gone I mean, where would they go? And how could we miss something like that...Maybe the police found us and now we’re under some weird simulation.”

Chills spilled down your spine as you shoved her making her whine, “Don’t say that! That makes me feel all weird…! I didn’t…!” You cut yourself off, you didn’t what? Murder your own dad in cold blood...you looked down at your hands, they were free of any blood but it still felt like something like sin lingered. Like no matter where you went, it would always be stuck to you.

You didn’t like this, not one bit. Briefly you felt the urge to go hunt down your dad, he was a deadbeat but you would never...you’d never kill him....Right?

“Well…” Nanami hummed her eyes scanning ahead before they jumped to the mall that was up ahead, “Hey…! If nobody is here...maybe we could make use of it! Come on! Let's go!” You yelped at her grabbing your arm before dragging you ahead. Cars were all parked and yet not a single person exited through the mall's entrance. Something just felt off! You wrapped your arms around yourself as you warily looked around the empty mall, “Nanami I really don’t like this!” You looked around, concern bubbling inside you as she ran ahead into the store, digging through the section of clothes as she giggled.

“Relax! I doubt any of this is real and even so…! Who’s going to stop us!?” She shrugged as she bounced in excitement, “Oh my god! I had dreamed of something like this happening! Now we can do whatever we want! Go wherever we want! Y/n!” She gasped with a smile, “Now we don’t even have to worry about money!”

“We don’t even know if this is permanent.” You looked around warily, not partaking as she began plucking off the racks, “Regardless of what this is, I don’t like it. I want to go back home, our home. This just doesn’t…” You shook your head, “This just doesn’t feel right.”

“Well you can feel that way!” Nanami clacked her tongue as she gave a childish smile, “But I’m gonna go through this whole store and get a new wardrobe so feel free to sit on the bench and tell me what you think looks good!”

Looking away you sighed, unable to pinch the anxious feeling you had away as you sat down reluctantly as Nanami went into the changing room. Well...at least she was smiling and she was happy...With each outfit Nanami tried out and giggled, you giggled with her and maybe things weren’t so bad after all…

“What a perfect day.” Nanami hugged you close as she sighed, yawning as you looked up at the sky in awe, you had seen a single star while living in Tokyo before, but now it was filled with constellations and millions of stars that stretched for miles. You could stare at it for days and days. The sun had just set a little over half an hour ago and you were ready to retire and find something to eat at the apartment.

You and Nanami had tried going to the food court but much to your dismay everything had been...rotten...soiled and ruined, meaning there was no point in trying to find anything there and you were getting really hungry despite devouring bags of chips you had both got at the convenient store, another thing that stood out to you was that there was no electricity...at all..

Looking back up to the sidewalk something caught your eyes...was that…! Light!? “Hey! Nanami look!” You shook her making her squeak as she looked up ahead, “It’s the hospital! They have electricity there which means there’s other people! Of course! Why didn’t we think to check essential areas!? Come on! Lets go! I wanna figure out what happened.”

“Alright! It sucks that this is already over but at least I can finally charge my phone, the battery is pretty low.” Nanami nodded in agreement as you both made your way up the road.

The walk wasn’t too far and you felt excitement fill you at the sight of the hospital all lit up as you walked into the entrance, a frown slowly setting on your lips once more as you walked past the receptionist desk and…! Oh there’s other people!

You felt relief wash over your as you ran up, there were at least seven other other people here at least! “Hey! Guys oh my god. I thought everyone was gone! What’s going on?” You asked, smiling bright in relief that you and Nanami weren’t the only ones left behind. Was this some kind of evac point or…?

Silence ensued and you slowly began to frown as you felt everyone stare at you as if you were insane, “Um…” You wrapped a hand around your arm, suddenly feeling as if everyone knew something you didn’t, “What’s going on…?” You furrowed your brows as you tilted your head, unsure of why everyone was looking at you like this.

Somebody looked like they were going to talk to you, a guy relatively around your age but a woman stopped him- his girlfriend maybe? “Stop, the less that know the better chance we have.” She said quietly though you still heard just enough. Fear twisted inside you as you took a cautious step back...The...the less you knew?

“Wow, you guys are assholes,” A girl suddenly whistled out, she was sitting in a waiting chair, a cowboy hat on her head paired with distressed jeans and...a bikini top? Strange but you’d roll with it if it meant getting answers. She stood up as she offered a smile, “Akari, nice to meet ya’. You folk must be new to the Borderlands huh?” She jutted her bottom lip a little as you frowned.

“Um I’m Y/n and this is my sister Nanami...?” You introduced yourself despite feeling confused as you raised a brow, “Borderlands…?” You echoed, what was that supposed to be? Other than Tokyo?

Akari gave a nod as she let out a brief chuckle, as if amused by your confusion but you sensed she had no real ill will unlike....your eyes checked to the couple that stood off in the corner on their own, “That’s what they call it here,” She nodded in affirmation as your eyes darted back to her in confusion, “To be frank with ya’, I don’t have a damn clue what's going on. Nobody does. But ever since you crossed the threshold there’s no going back, so I’ll be brief. We’re all considered outsiders here and we participate in games at venues such as this to extend our stay.”

Nanami and you looked at one another confused as Akari waved you over to the table in front of a TV, “Here, you’ll wanna put these on, it’s for the game.” She explained as you carefully picked up the metal bracelet, something about it felt ominous as you reluctantly put it on, jumping at the way it latched together and there was no getting it off now, “Word of advice, just don’t panic and you probably won’t die.”

“What?!” You screeched as Akari smacked your back, panic evident in your voice as you turned around to face her making her laugh again, this girl was insane! She had to be! “You’re…! You’re joking!”

Akari wrinkled her nose as she tilted her head, “Ah shit, I wish I was- Oh…! There’s the last player!” Just on que everyone turned to look at who had arrived, someone heaving breaths with their hands on their knees as if they had sprinted. You were mildly worried at why he seemed so scared but you had a feeling that was the least of your problems right now.

“Y/n what’s going on…?” Nanami frightened grabbed your arm as she hid a little behind you due to all these immensing strangers that looked like they were ready to feed you to the sharks, literally.

The guy walked past you both as he put on his bracelet, your eyes sharp as you watched it latch together automatically, your gaze jumping to everyone's wrists to notice you were all now wearing one. The TV suddenly lit up.

Game

You squinted your eyes a little at the sight of the screen, just what were you about to unwillingly participate in…?

Difficulty: 5♣

“The game you will be participating in is, Monster under the bed.”

A playing card? Monster under the bed? Your brows furrowed as you looked at Nanami who shrugged a little despite her concerned expression, looking just as confused as you. You could’ve made a joke out of this, surely it would’ve been easier. Maybe everyone would bust out laughing and you’d be at the end of a poor joke but...somehow you felt that wasn’t the case. Thus paying very close attention to whatever was on this screen,

“Everyone will be sectioned off into pairs by the number chosen on your bracelet, when the doors to the ward open you will have three rounds ten minutes each to figure out who is the monster under the bed that must be returned to its own, once the ten minutes is up you must hide before you are found. If the selected pair that is the monster is chosen correctly it’s a Game Clear. If the monster is not found by the end of the third round or if the pair fails to hide it’s a Game Over.”

Rules:

Once the doors are open you and your partner must find a hiding spot by the time limit

Both partners must be hidden. If one is exposed to the monster it’s a Game Over for both partners

There will be an X marked on the ground to place the monster of your guess onto.

You will have three rounds of ten minutes each to find the monster.

Any attempt to remove bracelets results in a Game Over

If the monster is not found by the third round a Game Over.

The only Game Clear condition required is for the monster to be returned by the third round.

What…

What!?

“Now the game will commence, you have five minutes to figure out who you have been paired up with before the doors open.”

Your mind was blanking as you watched everyone look down at their bracelet, hurriedly you lifted your arm as your mind blanked 2 looking back at Nanami her lips were already quivering as she sniffled lifting her arm in defeat as your lips dropped open, 5.

“Hey! Guess you’re my partner!” Akari grinned as she wrapped an arm around Nanami who sniffled, “Oh…” She looked between you both, “Oh! Oh don’t worry! We’re not the monster so I’ll make sure your sister lives! You should go find your partner.”

Your hands trembled unsure of what to do before you went to hug Nanami, “Whatever happens just stay calm okay! I need to go find my partner now!” You whispered, kissing her cheek as she sniffled while nodding.

Everybody was shuffling around looking for their partner now, you passed by a few people, 4, 1, 3...did you even have a partner…? You scanned around, your throat tightening a little in panic, there had to be a mistake! There were only 8 people surrounding you- you yelped at the tight grip that suddenly held your arm forcing you to turn around to be met with a white hooded figure, a lollipop handle hanging and earbuds in before sighing, “So it appears I’m stuck with someone useless.” The man concluded as he stood up making you back away a little as your lips parted somewhat indignantly.

How...how rude! You looked up, unable to fully make out his face but you could tell you didn’t like him one bit, “I’ll…! First of all I’m not useless! I’m just trying to understand what's going on! This is insane! We aren’t actually going to die from this, are we!?” Pushing his hood down you were immediately met with a snide gaze and cat eyes that leered at you like you were nothing more then dirt beneath his feet, long blonde hair pushed behind his shoulders and his bangs hanging low, suddenly a viscous side smile appeared on his lips, “Apparently so, otherwise I wouldn’t have watched half my last game get their brains blown out and the other half hung.”

You reeled a little away from the blonde, your face dropped in semi horror, unsure if this was just a sick joke or he was serious. You searched his face a thousand times over, but for the first time in your life, you couldn’t figure out what his goal was. You couldn’t figure out anything about him, except he was exceptionally cold, “Well I don’t suppose I have much choice to doubt you,” He said with an annoying sing song tone as he rattled his wrist that showed the bracelet with a matching 2 on it, “My name is Chishiya, just stay out of my way and we’ll both live.”

How arrogant! You scoffed as he walked past you, not the least bit bothered at your offense as you whipped around, glaring at his back. How come out of everyone you got stuck with the most…! Pompous! Arrogant! Ugh! You crossed your arms as you followed behind him, stilling secretly sending daggers into his back with your eyes as everyone shuffled into the ward.

Hospital beds were scattered around the room, a few closets and one large vent at the bottom right corner of the room ahead.

“Wait, what is this?” The first person to speak was a fair thin older gentleman, he appeared friendly as he observed the room around him, everyone looked around in confusion as you noticed what he meant.

Any possible hiding spot was covered by either sheets of metal or locked tight...How were any of you supposed to hide if…!? The rules mentioned nothing about solving puzzles to gain access to a hiding spot!

“Forget that,” Another man said with a sneer he was broad and a bit older, well into his late twenties at least, perhaps a gym coach? Or maybe a wrestler of some sort? He looked like he could break you and nearly every other person in this room like a twig, “We need to figure out who’s the monster. “ He cracked his knuckles as you leered a little away and nobody spoke for a second.

Of course, who would out themselves as the monster, more importantly, how does one even know they’re the monster? You could immediately feel tension rise as the previous, more patient man spoke, a little more collected, “How about we just check one another's’ watches! If anywhere it would show us on that! One pair should work on solving these puzzles here so everyone has a place to hide”

“Unless the monster is among us and it sabotages us so we all die by the time limit.” The girlfriend crossed her arms as she darted her eyes around. Truthfully you didn’t know what to believe, the wording on the soundbox was rather confusing as to just what were you looking for. Was the monster supposed to be in the group or it’s own entity?

“If that were the case it would’ve showed up on our watches, which it didn’t. So that won’t work.” Chishiya spoke matter of fact, his tone cool as his eyes gazed across the room before he walked away from the group inspecting various hiding spots granted you didn’t think he was about to help anyone but himself, if anything you were at least lucky that him securing a hiding spot meant it was one for you as well.

You looked at everyone in confusion, some arguing while others scattered to look for a hiding spot as the clock ticked down. You breathed in relief at the sight of Nanami and Akari both going for a bed to hide under. Your gaze finally found Chishiya’s form before following him, unsure of what you were supposed to do, if anything outside trying to figure out just what the monster even was.

You glanced up at the digital clock that stood above the entrance you had just come in from, it was already a minute in before you searched the floor where you found a red X in the center of the room, that must’ve been the...what? Offering spot? You cringed a little at the idea. Looking forward you peered behind Chishiya’s shoulder deciding to not think about that, it seemed the metal sheet that had wrapped around the bed and was sealed to the ground was locked by some sort of metal device…? Contraption? Lock?

“Isn’t hiding under a bed a bit obvious…?” You frowned as you crossed your arms, unsure as you looked behind your shoulder once more to where accusations were already being thrown in the group.

“The vent is a decoy to make you waste time, I already checked,” Chishiya replied, his fingers nimble as they rattled the metal, “And even if someone were to accomplish it in the time limit it’s the most obvious spot the monster would first check. Next would be the closet given it’s at eye level and the first thing one is drawn too when they walk into a room.”

Your lips parted a little in surprise at his assessment...obviously he wasn’t just overconfident, “And why this spot?” If he had really thought about all this in less than a minute then...did he have a reason for this spot? You now found yourself, slightly less annoyed and a little more curious as to what was going on in his mind.

“If the monster were to check a bed it would be after his eyes are drawn to the closet. Next in that line of sight would be the vent directly across it, which would be his next place to look if not his first and vice versa. The beds are all staggered throughout the room making them less conspicuous compared to the other hiding places, the bed on the far end of the room would be no good.”

Your brows furrowed in curiosity at his assessment as you watched Chishiya blow a piece of hair from his face, wiggling out one piece of the knotted metal, “It’s too far from the entrance where as the one in the middle is by average the one most people would start with, where as the first? It’s almost too soon in the start to look there thus making it the safest.”

“It’s them! They’re over there conspiring!” You both twisted around to watch the broad man point an accusing finger at you both as your eyes darted from him to the clock on the wall, which read at six minutes. A few other pairs, relievingly so was your sister had started working on a hiding spot while a few others stood around and argued.

Your face coiled a little as you replied, not appreciating the accusation to such a baseless accusation, did they not realize the longer they argued the less time they had to secure a hiding spot? “Someone who’s terrible at playing the minority would often be the first to point fingers. There’s only six minutes left before the first round is over and we need to hide. But if you want to talk about this then sure,”

You stepped closer as you crossed your arms, scanning over him before continuing, “Let’s talk about the chances of you being the monster, ever since you first came in you’ve been all twitchy and acting like something is wrong. Even when we first got paired up, you seemed a little panicked. Anyways,” You turned around as you spoke, “How do we know one pair is a monster and not one single person?”

“Eh,” Akari sat on the bed that her and Nanami chose as Nanami fumbled to work out the puzzle, she had always been good at those! You felt assured as your heart beat frantically at the idea of them not being able to get a hiding spot in time, “Let’s all calm down,” She gave an awkward laugh, “This isn’t a hearts game, we shouldn’t divide our trust. This is a team building after all which means this game should be making us work together, the last thing we need to do is throw that away on our own accord.”

“...Team building?” You frowned as you murmured having not been aware that this was some sort of game category...Hearts? Clubs? The memory of the playing card flashing on the screen appeared in your mind again, right...was that to stand for some kind of game genre? If Clubs stood for team building then...there should be no reason that the monster is any of you. Why would they even suggest that to begin with?

Then...what was the monster?

“One minute remaining.”

The lights suddenly began flickering, “Got it.” Chishiya yanked the last piece of metal undone as he pulled the sheet of metal off, everyone was now scrambling and the few who had not done their puzzle were now panicking. Getting down you crawled under the bed, your back flat to the ground as you inhaled sharply as you noticed the lights beginning to dim, “This is...uncomfortable.” You mumbled, trying to ignore being pressed shoulder to shoulder with a man you didn’t even know besides him having a god complex, “We should’ve went with the vent.”

“By all means, if you want to try and get yourself killed already. Go for it.” You turned to look at him, dark endless cat eyes meeting you as you harshly glared at him, why was he so condescending!?

You were about to snap back something before you realized it was completely dark and the door slammed open causing you to jump. Was your heart always this loud? You could see the heavy boots step against the ground making you unsteadily inhale, swallowing as you closed your eyes. You could only place your trust that Chishiya hadn’t picked a horrible spot.

More importantly your mind was plagued with worry for your sister, you had been so caught up you hadn’t even tried to help her yet...did she even…! You heard a sudden loud scream from two people causing you to stiffen as you looked up at the bed frame lined with wooden planks. You could only cower back down at blood suddenly painting the floor.

Your stomach suddenly churned as you covered your mouth. So he wasn’t lying. Chishiya however looked just as nonpulsed as he did when he first told you himself, his eyes blankly staring up at the bed frame as if this was just a regular game of hide and seek as people screamed as they were torn apart.

Or that’s at least what you assumed it was.

After an agonizing few minutes the doors finally closed and the lights flickered back on making you breath in relief as you waited a moment, could you even bear to face what was waiting on the floor? You winced a little before something caught your eye. What was with all this extra wood stuck in the frame?

Chishiya had already gotten out from under the bed and before you suddenly heard a few girls scream, your sister among them making you puff and breath as you scrambled from beneath the bed.

Standing up your mouth agape at the horrid sight of the female and the broad male that had been too focused on accusing others, they didn’t have...enough time...it looked like they had been completely mutilated, blood pouring on the floor and the smell made you want to gag as you looked away.

“Well, now what do we do.” Akari scratched her head, also not looking phased that two people had just been brutally killed. Your eyes stayed placed on the bodies before they slowly trailed to your hands, the memory of blood staining them still fresh in your mind.

“Well we have to figure out where the monster is?” The girlfriend of the couple spoke up, she looked around somewhat suspiciously, “But I’m not sure where we could find it? Maybe it has to do with the bracelets? Maybe there’s a clue hidden.”

“Oh what about in the cabinets?” The collected man from before offered as he went to search the cabinets, your frown furthered as you glanced around. Everyone was now getting along, still on edge but along at least.

Chishiya only leaned against the wall, his hands in his pocket as he rolled the lollipop in his mouth, his gaze the same steely one it was before as if he had done his job in securing his temporary salvation and was now done.

Or maybe he just didn’t know what to do? It was obvious his strength didn’t lie in teamwork, clearly. But then again, you weren’t sure what was going on, you couldn’t get a read on him. Crossing your arms you stayed beside him, your eyes briefly washing over your sister who was working Akari to dig through a desk together.

“Cabinets and drawers are too obvious.”

Chishiya’s eyes flickered to your figure, his expression just as cold if not...a little smug maybe? He said nothing in return as you continued, “If we’re looking for a monster, it’s obvious it’s a metaphor for something. Inanimate most likely,” Your eyes flickered around the room, inhaling sharply, why did it feel like the answer was right in front of you?

Think…! You glanced at the clock, only six minutes left. The rounds were really short…! “It’d be something small and inconspicuous, something that’s in plain sight….but easy to miss...and the game said it was a pair which means there’s more than likely two.”

“Three,” You glanced at Chishiya as he spoke, pulling the lollipop from his mouth, that permanent smug look on his face as he answered, “Two is what they want you to think and if you spend a round searching for each like they hope it’s game over by three.”

You rubbed your neck as you frowned, “It’s already the second round and we haven’t even found one…” You glanced around before you suddenly perked up, “Wait…!” Getting back down on the floor you laid on your back as you pushed yourself under the bed, “Chishiya! Help me get this thing out!”

Within a moment the blonde appeared as well, his eye sharp and keen as they noticed straight away what you were tugging at, “You think this is the monster?”

You looked at him as you raised a brow, “We have less than four minutes left on our second round, you have a better idea?” Chishiya said no more but helped regardless, successfully with the both of you maneuvering it around from beneath the wooden boards you managed to get it out.

Holding it up you looked at it, “It’s a poppet doll.” You turned to face him as you smiled in accomplishment, “They’re typically used as curses to place upon people in folklore. If anything is a monster, this would be it.”

Excited at your first victory you pulled out from beneath the bed as you waved it up, “Hey guys! We need to start looking for something similar to this! If not a replica.” Everyone huddled around you examining the doll before the microphone sounded, “One minute remaining.”

Everyone had immediately scrambled back to their hiding place as you ran to the red X, placing the poppet on it, that's the reason that had to be there right!? You’d just have to see, hurriedly you ran back to your spot under the bed. Making it just in time as the lights flickered off.

The door slamming open once more as you slowly inhaled, it had to work right? If not...then you were at a loss for what to search for and you were utterly screwed.

The boots stomped against the floor past the bed as you closed your eyes, unable to calm yourself. After a moment you heard a screech and something rip open before screams followed making you jump. Chishiya’s eyes were on the feet that stood by the closet that had been obviously ripped open.

You heard the sound of something wet and a gurgle before a body slumped to the floor and you could hear begging before something got snapped in half causing you to close your eyes once more...Did you make it angry!? Was that not it? Fuck. You had never felt this stressed before as it roamed around, passing in front of your bed as you tensed.

Was this your last moment alive? Truly?

Much to your relief, the door closed once more before the lights followed, flickering on, relaxing a little you sighed as you reluctantly got out from underneath the bed with Chishiya to see what had happened. Much to your horror it was the man who had been so kind this whole game and his partner.

The monster didn’t check anywhere in the first round, yet he did this round? You tried to block out the bodies slumped in the corner as you glanced at the red X, the poppet doll gone.

“Why- why were they killed!” Nanami’s eyes began to water as she grabbed her head, “This makes no sense!”

“If it accepts the doll that means we only need two more. What happened to them is irrelevant.” Chishiya stuffed his hands back into his pocket as you glared at him sideways, not appreciating his careless tone. You could deal with it, but you didn’t want your sister dragged into it.

Grabbing your chin you thought about it for a moment, “Well...the game said to return the monster to its own and…” You glance down at the X, was there some kind of unsaid rule that if you didn’t get all three of them on the first try that it would start hunting down players? “How would a mother feel if they only returned one of its children?”

“This thing doesn’t have feelings,” The girlfriend of the partners replied coldly, her eyes like steel of her own as she clung to her boyfriend, “It’s as he said,” She waved to Chishiya, “It doesn’t matter, we’ll be like them if we don’t figure this out.”

You glanced around the room, “Tell me this, if it doesn’t matter, then why did they give us all these different hiding spots?” Everyone was silent, all eyes on you as if your question didn’t make any sense, your eyes flickered to the clock that was nearing eight minutes, you didn’t have time to monologue, “No think about it. The monster never intended to look for us- that was never stated in the rules. So why did they give us all of these choices if we only needed one per pair? My point being, if we found one poppet in our hiding spot then...You get where I’m going with this? Chishiya.”

He glanced up at you acknowledgement as you curved a brow, your lips threatening to tug into a smile as you tilted your head, “How confident are you in solving that vent?”

He glanced back down and for the first time, you watch a cocky wide smirk twist onto his lips, “You’re lucky to have someone as smart as me here to be able to open it.” You tucked your tongue into your cheek as in annoyance as he sauntered over to the vent already getting to work, “As for everyone else, we need to open up as many of these as possible to find the other two.”

Everyone immediately scrambled to get to work, with only seven minutes on the clock this was...going to be difficult. First Nanami and Akari searched all the opened spots as you worked on another bed. Rubbing your head as muttered, “Shit...I never was good with puzzles.” You awkwardly hung your head in defeat temporarily, briefly letting your eyes shift to Chishiya who was fiddling with several locks, his gaze sharp and you couldn’t even imagine all the calculations going on in his mind. You were somewhat envious of what it would be like to be that perceptive to anything adhering to logic and solution.

“Aha! Found one!” Akari yanked the poppet from the top of the closest as Nanami covered her mouth, looking like she was gonna throw up being so close to so many dead bodies. You ignored the grisly sight at the second victory of the poppet doll. Akari quickly placed it on the X as you began to work on the puzzle once more, looking up at the clock. Oh no...Oh no there was only three minutes left!

“Chishiya! Hows that puzzle coming along.” You called out, trying not to sound alarmed but you could see the clear cut annoyance on his face as he continued working through the locks, “If you’d like to help while struggling on a novice lock feel free.” He replied condescendingly, not appreciating the pressure.

You rolled your eyes with huff as you finally managed to get it undone, feeling triumphant as you searched under the bed but there was no luck, “There’s nothing here!”

“Or here!”

Several people called out as well as you rubbed your head, standing up, “If the only other place that hasn’t been searched is the vent then maybe there’s only two? It did say a pair.” You felt a lump of anxiety well in your chest at the sight of the clock ticking close to a minute and half.

“Should we really take the risk?” The boyfriend asked as he rubbed his neck, concern on his face as he looked around, “If we’re wrong then we’ll all…”

You hadn’t even thought of that…

“...! Hey.” You turned to Chishiya who seemed to be trying to get your attention making you immediately come over, if he was asking for you it’d have to be for something important given there was nearly less then two minute on the clock, “Hold this right here.” He immediately pushed your hand onto the lock right where he wanted it, “This is a two handle mechanism meaning that there needs to be two people unlocking it. Push down and out at the same time.”

“Hide! Everyone needs to hide now!”

The lights were beginning to flicker as everyone scrambled to hide, stress evidently put on your shoulders now more than ever. You could only hope he was right with your life on the line, “Now!” You pushed down on your side, the lock sliding as you pulled out, pulling a piece of metal holding up the lock directly out as Chishiya did the same with his side.

The lock fell off as well as the metal of the gate of the vent, you immediately with no hesitation leaned inside it was dark and hard to make it out anything besides the steep drop off. So he was right, this was a waste of time for a hiding place.

Looking down you caught sight of wood before laughing in relief, “It’s here! Wait shit! Chishiya! It’s too far down in the vent, you’re gonna have to lower me down to reach it. Time?”

“Forty five seconds.” You felt unfamiliar hands on your hips lifting you up as you were lowered down, “We have time.”

You squinted trying to see as you reached down, “Lower me further! I’m not quite in reach,” Your muscles began to ache in your shoulder as you reached harder, growling in frustration, “Time!?” You were lowered a little further, the wooden poppet brushing against your fingers.

“Thirty seconds! Could you go a little faster?”

“Could you lower me a little quicker- Ah! Hey did you almost let go!?” You snarled back, grabbing the poppet doll, giving a good yank as it lodged in between the crevice it was in, “Get me back up! I got it. Time!”

“Twenty seconds.” Chishiya called back, pulling you up as you gasped, pain from the metal jabbing into your stomach evident as you were met with a darkening room. Setting your feet firmly on the floor your eyes flew to the flock fifteen seconds and your spot was all the way across the room….!

“Where are we supposed to hide!? We can’t get all the way there in time!” You hissed out running to the X as you dropped the poppet down. The lights shut off as the final five seconds counted down and before you could do anything you were shoved to the floor as you squeaked. Your body throbbing in pain and your mouth immediately covered as you were met with the coverage of a bed but neither one of you were bold enough to try and scramble beneath it as the doors slammed open.

Fuck.

Your whole body was tense as your eyes squeezed shut, you were just a little ahead of the X here, if this is all the poppet dolls...they’d have no reason to go further into the room...unless...Your hand squeezed tight around the wrist of the hand that covered your mouth as you tried to calm yourself at the loud thudded footsteps.

It was quiet for a moment before you heard more walking before the doors closed.

“Game Cleared”

The lights turned on as you fell limp against the side of the bed, Chishiya’s hand removed from mouth as you pushed your hair from your face, closing your eyes as you breathed in relief, “Holy shit.” Was all you could mutter to yourself, you had never been more grateful to breathe air in your whole life.

“I guess you weren’t that useless after all huh.” Chishiya clacked his tongue as you turned your head to look at him, raising your brows as your face contorted into something between insult and amusement.

You’ve only known this man for a half an hour and yet...something about his words, if you dug down deep past that smug expression of his, was this a compliment? Looking away you pressed your tongue into your cheek, trying to keep from smiling, “Yeah, and you’re still conceited and arrogant but, I guess you have a good reason to be.” You glanced back at him again but you could hardly hold his gaze, something in that brief moment was electrified between you both as you laughed somewhat sheepishly, closing your eyes as you looked away once more.

What the fuck was even wrong with you? If this was back before today you would’ve totally kicked this guy in the balls and went about your day.

“Y/n!” You straightened up at the sound of Nanami’s voice, your expression brightening as you stood up, quickly running to her as you hugged her tight, “I can’t believe that just happened…” She whispered to you as she pressed her face into your neck. You couldn’t either but, you were thankful you had survived this game. Whatever it was.

“Come on, let's get out of this room.” You tugged on her arm, no longer wanting to be in this death room despite knowing it was all over. Pulling her out you paused at the sight of the TV and a...register…? You bracelet unlocked as you took it off, tossing it on the table as you tilted your head.

“Congratulations Game ''Clear ``.''

“...Now issuing visas to those who survived the game…?” You furrowed your brows as you glanced at Nanami who rubbed her head in confusion. You grabbed the receipt as you looked it over with a frown before picking up the 5 of clubs playing card along with it. Odd.

“It’s how many days you’re allowed to stay now! Almost a whole week, that's a good score for a first game!” Akari called out as she patted your back making you jump a little.

Almost a whole week…”Until we have to play again to...continue our stay?” You raised a brow, deciding not to ask what happens if you refused. While you had many questions, you had a feeling you knew the answer to that one.

A part of you couldn’t even believe this had happened, or was it all still a dream.

“Hey…! Sorry for all of that in there,” You turned to see...oh…! It was the boyfriend of the partner, the gifrlfriend stayed behind looking brooding, “I’m Ryu and that’s my girlfriend Hiroko I was...ah…” He faltered a little, rubbing the back of his neck as his gaze flittered to his girlfriend who was glaring him down, “You should stop by the Beach- I...I think you guys would make good additions! Bye!” He hurried not even finishing his original sentence before scurrying off making you furrow your brows at what he even meant.

“The hell?” Akari raised a brow as she watched the guy run off, “Seems to me he wanted to chat more…guess we know who's really pulling balls in that relationship.”

Nanami suddenly snickered, covering her mouth as she giggled, “Hey Akari! Why don’t we stay together! We did really well in the game together!”

“Awh shit, if you guys really want me too!” Akari offered a quirky smile as you laughed, you had no problems with someone staying behind with you. Looking past Akari your smile faded a little at the sight of a white hoodie exiting the entrance.

“Hey- I’ll be right back!” You pushed past the both of them who paid you no mind as you pushed out of the exit and down the stone steps, not sure why your feet were making you chase after such an egotistical man but…!

“Chishiya!” You called out, making the man pause, he turned around, pulling the earbuds out as he glanced up from his hoodie, raising his brows in acknowledgement, “Um…” Why did you even chase after him…? You stepped down the last step as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

It was silent for a moment as you berated yourself internally for why you seemed so speechless all of a sudden. Chishiya however didn’t seem to mind, his eyes absent now as he stared up at the hospital, “I used to do my clinical rotations here.”

You were broken out of your silent thrashing of internal humiliation as you raised your brows, lips parting in curiosity as you asked, “You were a doctor?”

“No,” Chishiya snorted, that amused calico look of his on his face once more as he looked down at you, “I was a medical student. Training to be a doctor but that obviously didn’t happen…” His lips curved into a frown, his eyes cold once more as they looked back up at the building, “I came here tonight to see if anyone I knew would be here.”

“Oh…” You looked away, feeling somewhat awkward and unsure of how to reply to him as silence took over once more beside the occasional rustling of the wind in the tree’s, the urge to speak overtaking you to the point you couldn't resist, “Chishiya...I…” You looked away, feeling somewhat bashful, “We...made a really good team back there.” You forced yourself to look up at him as you offered a bright yet subtly shy smile, “If you want...you could stay with us…?”

Chishiya pulled the lollipop stick from his mouth, letting it drop to the ground as he spoke, “No thanks.” You turned to him in surprise as you frowned a little, you shouldn’t have expected anything less…

“Oh...I understand.” You offered a weak smile as he turned his back on you and began to walk once more, “I just have one more question,” You called out causing him to pause, “...Do you by any chance know about a place called the Beach?”

Note: Whew...! As a lurker in the Alice in borderland fandom I saw a lot of people complaining about the lack of Chishiya fics so I decided to volunteer myself and take on for the team to write a series for this little blonde fucker so PLEASE let me know your thoughts and I hope you enjoy!! Also

#alice in borderland #aib #alice in borderland imagine #alice in borderland x reader #chishiya x reader #chishiya x reader smut #shuntaro chishiya #shuntaro chishiya x reader #aib imagine #aib x reader

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teawithshruti · 3 years

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How did I keep myself sane amidst a pandemic - My thoughts on books, anime, and restaurants.

Yet another review of The Shining

A plot so well written you would want to go in room 217

Hi there! This blog comes to you from a bored 19 year old who has a knack for reading crime thrillers, watching murder documentaries, and loves watching MasterChef just to see Gordon Ramsay. LOL. And did I mention that she also happens to be a Stephen King fan, because who isn’t? So here is where I try and convince you that The Shining is the best book ever written and how Stanley Kubrick completely butchered the screenplay, as well as why pasta is life.

Welcome to the Rockies!

The story takes place in the town of Boulder, Colorado, where our main protagonist Jack Torrance gets a job as a caretaker of the famous Overlook Hotel. Winters in Boulder are harsh, and the hotel remains closed as travel is not permitted with all the heavy snowfall. Now Jack is a recovering alcoholic with anger issues which led to him breaking his son’s arm prior to where the story begins. This made Wendy, his wife, question her marriage and the safety of their five year old son, Danny. Danny on the other hand isn’t your average five year old who just watches cartoons and plays with toys. He is aglow with a psychic voltage, and has frequent blackouts. In the words of old Mr Hallorann, the hotel’s head chef, Danny’s a shiner. When the Torrances meet Mr Hallorann, he feels an instant connection with Danny. He warns Jack about the hotel and its sinister secrets and how the previous caretaker, Delbert Grady, killed himself and his family. But Jack is sure that this huge and lonely hotel with its splendid views is just what he needs in order to earn back his family’s trust. But going to a haunted hotel with a troubled marriage and a psychic son? Maybe not the best idea. But in his defense, Jack doesn't believe in ghosts. Little does he know that’s about to change.

Snowbound at The Overlook

The Torrance's begin settling in the Overlook. But as winter closes in and the blizzards cut them off from the outer world, the hotel seems to develop a life of its own. Meanwhile, Jack starts growing restless, craving for a friendly drink with each passing day. He also starts experiencing hallucinations, and wonders if they are withdrawal symptoms. Danny on the other hand is experiencing his own share of ghostly sightings, like the terrifying lady in the bathtub of room 217 who seems to have never checked out of the hotel. In one instance, he witnesses her climbing out of the clawfoot tub and advancing towards him with her bloated belly and dry hair as he stands frozen in fear in a blood covered presidential suite. This narrative by King with all its details is the truly the most spine tingling I’ve ever read. Later when Danny’s parents find him in the room, a thumb in his mouth, that is when Wendy truly realizes that they are not alone in that strange big hotel. Jack goes and sees the tub for himself, but the lady from before doesn't want to greet him. Wendy, in tears, sees that both her husband and her son are being tormented by this place and begs Jack to quit the job. Danny later calms his mom down, who is weeping uncontrollably, by telling her not to worry as his daddy doesn't have the shining, so there is nothing to worry about.

Have you never heard of REDRUM?

Sure you have. Read it backwards. Yes, you got it right. And so did Danny after seeing this word in his visions countless times. It so turns out that Danny is much stronger than he looks and after failing to possess him, The Overlook has turned to an easier target - Jack. As Jack slowly starts to lose his mind, he gives in and starts drinking again from the bar in the ballroom. His hallucinations keep getting worse to the point he actually sees Mr Grady, the previous caretaker / murderer, and even has a talk with him. Danny sees his changing behavior and so does his wife, who just doesn't see the man she fell in love with in his cold, distant eyes anymore. With everything going on, Wendy takes Danny to their apartment in the employee wing of the hotel and locks them inside in fear of Jack, who is slowly slipping away from reality. But turns out this move from her proves to be disastrous, as Wendy keeping Jack away from his own son is the last straw for him. In one of his many hallucinations, Jack meets his predecessor, his buddy Mr. Grady and the two have a disturbing conversation about how fun it is to kill your wife. Yes , no one trumps King when it comes to the unique combination of horror and psychological thrillers packed into one nail-biting plot!

In other words...

The only thing I liked about the movie was Jack Nicholson’s excellent acting. Apart from that Stanley Kubrick let go of many crucial parts which were essential to the story. He eliminated the hedge sequence in the book, which was terrifying to just read. The ending was just a complete mess. I get that you can’t exactly get all the details right of a 500 page book, but at least do justice to the ones you have chosen. Anyways I’m gonna go sulk in my room over this. Bye

Is it too late to start Anime?

Hi there! Good to have you back! Ever since pandemic began, everyone’s been locked in their own house. So this led to me taking up a few hobbies like sketching and painting and binging on a whole lot of sitcoms.. My personal favorite is the alluring world of Anime. Several of my friends began watching it and I cannot exactly term it as peer pressure, but I did give in and start watching Anime too. And now my watchlist includes just a bunch of 2D characters with powers that even Superman himself can't fight. So this is my take on how a kryptonian can be defeated with Jutsu, as Mr Naruto would say. Lol. This one is for all the weebs out there.

Manga and Anime are not the same!

To put it simply, manga is a Japanese term for comics and graphic novels, whereas Anime is the term for Japanese animations.. There are many similarities between them, as they both have been created by Osama Tezuka, who is considered as the Japanese version of Walt Disney. Now have you ever seen a simple comic book? The one with black and white newspaper illustrations - like Garfield. Manga is just like that - A book of illustrations. Now we arrive at the perennial question - Manga or Anime, which is better. Both of them are equally interesting, but I personally have a soft spot for anime. The intro theme songs, intense background music, and the beat dropping right before a big fight move, all these factors pack a punch. You don’t get that adrenaline rush from just a book.

My first anime - Demon Slayer

The story begins with the main character Tanjiro, who returns home after selling charcoal in town to find his entire family murdered by demons. Pretty intense right? His sister, Nezuko, survives but there’s a twist - she turns into a demon herself. This makes him vow to take revenge and he sets off to train with Sakonji, who has trained many of the elite members of the Demon Slayer Corps. After many years of training and a painful exam called the final selection, Tanjiro finally becomes a demon slayer and is off on missions along with his sister, who unlike most demons doesn’t consume human flesh. On his missions he meets Zenitsu and Inosuke, who both have excellent powers of their own. My favorite story arc was when the highest ranking slayers, known as the pillars, were introduced. But my words won’t do justice to their powers they possess. So simply get your geek on by watching this short yet amazing series.

The Tale of Naruto Uzumaki

The hidden leaf village is not so hidden anymore! The series I am currently watching is one of the most popular anime from 2020 - Naruto. The story is set around the shinobi villages and their ninjas and how Naruto Uzumaki plans on being the next Hokage [the most powerful shinobi] of the leaf village. He is trained by some of the best ninjas the village has ever seen. Before graduating from the academy, he was a hyperactive boy with lots of energy who just wanted to be the best. After graduation, he was placed in team seven, along with Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha. This team was trained by Kakashi Sensei who is known for wielding his Chidori and even the Sharingan. The sharingan, to put it simply, is a trait passed down in families. The Uchihas are known for their sharingans and hence it naturally comes to Sasuke as well. The mystery still remains unsolved as to how Kakashi got his sharingan, as he is not an Uchiha. But Naruto does have a super power as well. Not technically his powers per se, but we can cut him some slack. After all it's not everyday you get to see a beast like the nine tailed fox sealed away in an 11 year old boy. In my opinion the story picks up Orochimaru’s entry, and it paves the way for Sasuke’s powers in the future. My favorite character has to be Sasuke Uchiha. With his effortless fighting skills and sarcastic yet cool personality, he definitely is an excellent shinobi. You have to start this show right away because once you have seen him use his fire style fireball jutsu.....the world just doesn't look the same anymore.

In other words...

My current watchlist includes Naruto Shippuden, Black Clover, One Piece, and a few other naruto spin offs. Anime was something I never thought I would like, but now as it turns out I can't get enough of it. So bye for now, if you need me I'll be at Ichiraku’s eating ramen with barbeque pork. And if you get this reference, have a bowl of ramen on me. K bye.

Home in a faraway land

Good to see you again ! Do you ever get that feeling of an intense craving for your favourite dish? Like say pasta or pizza? My favorite is pasta, but being raised in India, I can’t say no to a classic plate of butter naan and chicken tikka with a glass of buttermilk or chaas if you please. Of Course you can’t beat the taste of a home cooked meal, but let me tell you about the time I went to this amazing little Indian restaurant in Dubai with my family, and how the food there was absolutely heavenly.

Out and About in Dubai

Skyscrapers, Sleepless nights, Gold Souks and gigantic malls - these are the visions you'd usually get when someone mentions Dubai. Well, they're mostly right! I went there with my family about 5 years ago. We stayed at the Ramada, which was right next to the Dubai Mall. The mall happens to be strategically placed next to the Burj Khalifa and we got lucky enough to see mesmerizing musical fountain shows night after night. The streets are spick and span, and everyone follows the traffic regulations dutifully. We also went for the desert safari, which was no less than an actual roller coaster ride. We also visited the Gold Souk, and oh boy. The name definitely fulfills its purpose, as the entire street is occupied entirely by gold stores. Huge gold ornaments are on display like clothes on hangers. I personally don’t have a thing for gold jewellery, but my mom had the time of her life there fawning and gasping over every store we came across. Shortly after our visit here, we came across this beautiful little Indian restaurant, and you can call me old school but at the end of the day, this girl needs a desi meal, because trust me room service gets boring after a while.

Peshwa - Not your typical 5 star restaurant

Situated away from the hustle of the main city, this place still remains quite underrated. We stumbled across this hidden gem which saved us the efforts of getting back to the hotel for an overpriced lunch. As soon as we entered the restaurant, we could smell the aroma of a classic dal makhani [ a simple gravy consisting of lentils infused with aromatic spices and hints of burnt chillies ] in the air. So we got a table and had a look at the menu and it was almost like being back home. The endless variety of gravies with paneer in almost every single one of them, to at least 6 different types of rotis, a little piece of heaven in this concrete jungle! We went ahead and ordered a simple meal of rotis and some paneer delicacy, along with dal and rice. Apart from the taste of the food, which was just heavenly, the overall ambience of the place in one word, was exquisite. The restaurant lived up to its very ethnic maharashtrian name. The food was served in those traditional style cutlery, reminding us of a simpler time.

A dish you just can’t miss

If you have a sweet tooth like me, you definitely have to try the coconut barfi from this place. Made from desiccated coconuts, sweetened condensed milk, a finely ground cardamom, and a hint of saffron, this dish is a match made in heaven. It was freshly made and we could tell it by the intoxicating aroma of pure ghee [clarified butter]. So just for a day, give yourself a break from watching calories and try this mouth watering dish because here’s something to live for.

In other words…

The next time I’m in Dubai, the first thing I will do is find out if the restaurant is still there. And probably avoid the Gold Souk this time. I will most certainly go for the desert safari, because it’s not everyday you get defy gravity and drive through the sand dunes like in a Fast and Furious movie. Lol. Also thanks for bearing with me throughout this blog. See ya!

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life-rewritten · 4 years

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Saying Goodbye to Flower of Evil

So it's finally here, time to say goodbye to my favourite kdrama so far of 2020. This is my post to say goodbye and also go back on all the positives and negatives of the show. It's been a long, beautiful and heartfelt journey. This show means a lot to me, and I had so much fun analysing it, every single week. Let’s start the review:

Ratings: Plot: 8.5/10 Directing: 8.5/10 Acting: 8.5/10 Satisfaction: 8/10 Overall: A Rewatch factor: 7/10

Opinions and Criticisms

What can I say about this show that hasn't already been mentioned and discussed? What an amazing show. At the end of it all, Flower of Evil is a love story to the core, it focuses on the marriage between our main characters, and we the audience end up invested in watching the layers and truth of the marriage unfold, the psychological circumstances and the external circumstances that lead us to the factors that will end up either breaking the marriage into pieces or end up bringing an opportunity for healing and unconditional love.

Characterisation

This show in my opinion subverted character tropes, in the first episode we're left feeling confused about who to root for; Do Hyun So starts of a scary personality but we start to see him break down and we understand that we didn't have all the information about him. In the first episode we feel the exact worry and fear Ji Won also ends up feeling as she slowly uncovers her husband is not who he claims to be. But we also like her start to look deeper for clues to help find the real truth about the psyche of Hyun So.

We're introduced to characters at the beginning such as Moo Jin (very ableist at first, and problematic) only to see him become 3D and learn from his mistakes and show care for Hyun So and his ex love Hae So. Like with him, we also feel weary about every character when they first appear, even Hae Su who we even feel led to believe is the mystery serial killer accomplice at the start ends up being a character broken, we see how it actually affected her mind and patterns as the guilt ate her up for what happened to her brother. These are just a few of the characters the audience grapple to understand and start of mistrusting.

Subverting Expectations

The tropes are subverted because this is a thriller, expectations are thrown out the window and changed, when one of our main cops find out about Hyun So's real identity (the show built this up so well since we know from the beginning that he's curious and very intuitive with cases), we expect him to take in Hyun So and be prejudiced,. It’s a surprise to see he's not , he listens and understands that Hyun So isn't what everyone thinks he is. The other cops do the same as well when Ji Won is 'held hostage' by Hyun So. They don't blame her immediately as an accomplice and only worry about her safety. The cops end up becoming like a found family, the warmth, loyalty and trust with everyone including the chief was shocking to see, and yet the show made us hang on edge for a while to see these characters stories unfold. Yes they're more 2dimensional than 3D but they are important to the story and end up being characters we love and enjoy on screen.

I don't have anything bad to say about this show, I even enjoyed the reveal of the villain, Baek Hee Sung, his storyline whilst seemingly making him a very straight forward psychopath, the subtext of the show suggested even more dimensionality and depth to understanding his family's psyche, circumstances and reasonings for why they aided him. He's also a brilliant foil to Do Hyun So who was using his identity without knowing he's the real accomplice we were waiting for. The actors do such a good job in this show, the main couple have great emotional ranges needed to carry the painful, hurtful, alarming scenes. Props to my two favorites, Lee Joon Gi as Do Hyun So was such a perfect casting choice for this show and Kim Ji Hoon as a villain was so delicious to watch, he made me scream and squeal a couple of times. Both so addicting and entrancing to watch on screen.

Lacklustre writing for Females

Eunha

As much as I am satisfied with the ending I do feel there are parts that a bit lack luster. The use of the daughter in the story of Do Hyun So regaining his memories and choosing to accept Ji Won yet again could have been used more, in fact I thought she was going to run away or do something defiant causing Hyun So to panic and realise he does have feelings and care. (I thought that was what they were building up to when they showed the food in the fridge he kept buying for her without knowing why) But she's pushed to the side, and almost forgotten about until we get a reunion. Eun Ha was such an interesting character to look into and I would have loved more depth and use in the storyline especially when she's connected the most to the humanity of Hyun So. Instead we got the diary scene and the title of the metal workshop being connected to Ji Won and his love for her all along. Don't get me wrong the romance was the basis of the show, so it makes sense we end with it being the most focused part on the conclusion of the show, I just wanted more Eunha.

Do Hae Su

As much as I enjoyed the characters in the show, I felt the female characters apart from Cha Ji Won were written to be very stupid, emotional or just an obstacle to their male counterparts. This irked me for a while, Hae Su's best part is when she sacrifices her life for Hyun So but before that she acts rashly and keeps on doing things that no one wants her to, I almost face palmed when she went straight to the director after finding out someone in his hospital is the accomplice. Like it's not hard to put two and two together. I enjoyed her as a character but did feel like she was underused more than her male counterpart Moo Jin. I'm glad we get her resolution and she survived

Director’s wife/ Unmother

The director's wife/Baek Hee Sung mother shows potential of being a character with depth and aims, but she also becomes sidelined once her son wakes up, her struggles in her psyche for her new fake son and grand daughter vs her guilt of hurting her real son, was a really good dynamic to explore, but she ends up becoming weak and panicking and being taught by both her male counterparts her son and husband. She just ends up being in the background and seen as the less smart, cunning and clever one compared to them. Didn't really like that, I thought she would be part of the downfall of our villain but she just ends up wasted instead.

The maid of the Baek’s

Don't get me started about her maid, another female character who is fridged on the show, I thought she was written so stupid towards the end for the convenience of the plot, and I hated that she reacted the way she did knowing the truth she knew. Her outburst and blackmail tactics just felt so out of the blue, it annoyed me to no end. I wish she had a reason that was hinted throughout the show, quotes or scenes that hinted she would betray them for money, more depth shown with her relationship with her and the wife, but no she just reacted out of bounds and got murdered. It was just a bit blase.

However I'm not saying this show did not also have powerful women characters, well character, Ji Won was smart, cunning and I enjoyed watching her actions after she discovered who her husband was. But for me I would have preferred more females written the same way she was that's all.

The final moments

I did enjoy the message of the show, especially when looking at what made our characters become/ turn into percieved psychopaths, the connection of Do Min Seok with both Baek Hee Sung and Do Hyun So was interesting to look at, and the way the world treated Hyun So because of his disorder was also painful but written well in the show. One of my favorite scenes in this show, is episode 15, (i wished the show's ending was episode 15, it would have left a haunting effect on the audience but i like happy endings too), when Hyun So proclaims he sees dead people so he can't believe Ji Won is alive. It was a brilliant build up as the ghost of Do Min Seok had been all along a foreshadowing device for this moment, immediately he said that it shocked me and made me realise what the writers planned all along. It was always right there in front of us that this will be an issue, and they used it so well for episode 15. One of my favourite moments so far in kdramas of 2020.

The message of the show is simple don't judge someone based on their mental disorder, they're just like everyone else if given the right opportunity to feel, and be treated like normal people.

Analysis and Devices used

Onto the devices used for analysing this show:

The themes

I enjoyed the topic of Psychopathy, Trauma and Mental Health that was relayed through out the show, what makes a psychopath a psychopath nature vs nurture. I enjoyed how each character's needs and wants is revealed to us subverting tropes and keeping the audience questioning the reasonings and truths of each of them.

The parallels

I also liked the directing parallels when they show both Hyun So and Cha Ji Won doing different things but it connected to the actual plot/storyline of the show for example him uncovering who his dad worked with to get raw materials, and she also uncovering a fake employment scheme with the someone connected to the same person who Hyun So is meeting. They do this all the time, and it's a great way to make the audience feel on edge and worried that soon both her and Hyun So's path will have to meet and she will have to confront him on the truth of their marriage.

The Foreshadowing

There's heavy use of symbolic foreshadowing, dramatic irony and withholding of information all used to keep the audience on their toes with bated breaths. The genre was part thriller, so each cliff hanger was deviced well enough to show case some realisations (some painful and horrifying) and also used to make the audience go back on their own expectations and wait to see the story unfold. At first the show starts of like a murder detective show, and I liked how each of the murderers/crimes were connected to unveiling the truth about Hyun So and his father.

Some foreshadowing devices I enjoyed is when Ji Won's identity card gets smashed and handed to Hae Su, at first we don't understand why there was such a scene but it uncovers and we find the horrifying conclusion that Hae Su will get stabbed because the killer misunderstands her to be Ji Won. Each of the devices used end up coming full circle in the plot to keep the audience on edge or hurt and broken at the realisation of what it meant. I look foward to watching another show with this writer and director again.

In Conclusion

This Kdrama surpassed my expectations and even beat my predecessor Psycho but it's okay as my favourite shows. While I did have some issues with parts of it, even with those issues I was left emotionally invested in this show, the characters, the story unfolding. I enjoyed every little thing in this show, I ended up being so effected I cried many times. As a writer, it taught me how to write a good love story, a couple against the world, and how to keep an audience invested.

#flower of evil #kdrama #lee joon gi #analysis #wrpup

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weebrecs · 5 years

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Recommended Anime for people that enjoyed The Promised Neverland

Hi Everyone! First, if you’ve never seen The Promised Neverland it’s time for you to binge this show. It’s a 10/10. The characters are great and the plot intense. Now, I’ve received several requests to create a list of recommended anime for people that enjoyed The Promised Neverland. I’ve decided to just answer them all in a master post of recommendations. Hope this helps!

Attack on Titian (9/10): Eren and the other humans are living in peace thanks to the walls that protect them from the titans. Until one day humanity learns that the walls that protect them also act as a cage. Two advanced and dangerous titans storm the wall and begin the massacre of humans that changes Eren’s life. He decides to enlist in the Survey Corps to take down the titans and explore the outside world. The similarities between the two shows are humans battling stronger, supernatural enemies. Attack on Titan is more graphic, but both shows introduce a family dynamic of characters that you fall in love with and pray make it out of their situation. Action, Supernatural, Gore, Thriller, Violence

Angel Beats (8/10): Otonashi suddenly wakes up and the only thing that he knows about himself is his name. He’s informed by a girl named Yuri that he’s dead and that he’s currently in the middle of a war between the afterlife army and a girl named Tenshi. However, Otonashi slowly learns that not all is what it seems in the afterlife battlefield. In order for people to move on, the inhabitants of the afterlife need to overcome the things that tethered them to their previous lives. The mystery and action elements align similarly to The Promised Neverland. While The Promised Neverland is a darker story, Angel Beats handles themes of death and who has the right to live on. Action, Mystery, Romance, Reincarnation, Supernatural

Ayashi no Ceres (10/10): Once upon a time a goddess came to earth to bathe in a stream, but her hagoromo (robe) that could bring her back to heavens was stolen. The Goddess was forced to marry the thief, but she was tricked and never got her robe back. Years have passed and the goddess’s blood has weakened until Aya Mikage. Unaware of the powers she possess, Aya’s world turns upside down when she finds herself being targeted by her grandfather. Her grandfather wants to kill Aya due to the powers she possesses. Ayashi no Ceres shares the theme that younger people are unaware of their destiny. Plus, once Aya learns of her destiny she needs to find a way to change her fate. This is an older anime so the art style isn’t like Promised Neverland Supernatural, Romance, Mystery, Action, Goddess

Code Breaker (8/10): Sakura is living a normal life until one day she sees people being burned alive by blue flames as a boy watches them burn. When she goes back to site that she saw the attack to investigate she finds no evidence. Just when Sakura decides to move on the boy from the fire, Rei, appears in at her school. Rei is a code breaker who rights the wrongs of the world. Code Breaker questions what is the right in order to keep balance. It also talks about magical beings that have the power to determine other people’s fates. Action, Thriller

Demon Slayer (10/10): These two anime share the theme of the family (that you’re born with/find). In Demon Slayer, Tanjirou has been supporting his family since his father’s death. However, his world comes crashing down when a demon attacks his family and the only family member left is Nezuko, but she’s been turned into a demon. The two characters fight against the roles they’re supposed to fit into. Nezuko doesn’t want to be a human eating demon and Tanjirou challenges himself to grow stronger to bring the evil demon to justice and revert his sister. Both anime focus on learning the truth behind the supernatural issues surrounding their lives. Also, after the death of his family Tanjirou starts to grow a new family of teammates/mentors that he wants to protect Demons, Violence, Horror, Thriller, Action, Adventure, Supernatural

Erased (9/10): Both anime follow children that need to find a solution against dangerous enemies that are stronger than themselves. They also have similar phycological, suspense tone to their storytelling. Erased tells the story of Satoru that finds himself transported back to his elementary aged body tasked with saving a girl, Kayo, who gets kidnapped and murdered in order to save the future. The only weapon Satoru has is his adult knowledge and memories, but he quickly learns how little power children have. He has to use his wits and determination to prevent the death of his fellow classmate. However, the more he meddles the kidnapper/murderer’s target shifts to him. Similar to The Promised Neverland the story centers around a group of children that need to overcome incredible odds to save themselves and others. Psychological, Supernatural, Time Travel, Suspense, Thriller, Drama

Higashi no Eden (8/10): Takizawa is suffering from amnesia and stumbling through the streets of America with nothing but the idea that he’s a terrorist and a phone containing 8.2 billion yen. When Takizawa saves Saki they work together to get to the truth behind Takizawa’s past, but what they find will test both of them. They find themselves involved in a death game that could lead the world to destruction or salvation, and the only thing that can determine the outcome is Takizawa’s memories. This show reminds me of The Promised Neverland because the characters need to work to learn the truth of their situation and the price of failure is death for everyone they care about. Aciton, Thriller, Romance

Owari no Seraph (10/10): Perhaps the element of The Promised Neverland you found interesting was humans being harvested by stronger magical beings. if that is the case Owari no Seraph should be your next anime. In this anime, the humans are treated like livestock by vampires that are harvesting their blood. Mika and Yuu are determined to leave their situation along with the other kids from their orphanage. Other similarities are that the main characters are children and they’re battling to change their fates Action, Revenge, Thriller, Gore, Violence

Terror in Residence (7/10): The police are investigating a series of terrorist attacks...where no one has died. The police are baffled and the only clue they have to go off of is a series of YouTube videos that are released before each attack that have a secret message hidden in them. It’s a giant game of cat and mouse between the terrorists and the police who are trying to stop the chaos. Meanwhile, behind the scenes of the attacks is a truth that can rattle a nation. A mysterious orphanage where children were kidnaped and tested on to complete a superhuman purpose. Action, Mystery, Terrorists

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donghyuwus · 4 years

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Haechan | Trip to Trouble Pt.1

pairing: haechan x fem!reader

genre: thriller, mystery, adventure, action, drama, crime, fluff, angst and light smut (most of these will apear in future parts)

warnings: mention of alcohol addiction, blood, murder, guns and i know it is a sensitive topic right now but the y/n person is a cop, don’t worry i stand by acab (bastards not bad) but i just had to do it for this one to fit it in the story line

words: 2221

summary: this train ride usually consisted of the same people, same events and same routine. however this time it was different. you get the choice to do something that will affect one person on this train and won’t affect you, in return a whole load of cash? easy right. little did you know what you were getting yourself into.

disclaimer: english is not my first language so sorry for my spelling or grammar mistakes, i tried my best. + this is based on the movie the commuter :)

Chaos. People running in all sorts of directions, some on the phone, others looking over at the big digital screens in the air to see where there next train departs from. People of all sorts of ages. Young couples probably going on a romantic trip, students who need to get to their colleges, families with little children going on a nice trip or vacation and elders looking for some adventure in their old days. Your breathing was making an obnoxiously loud sound as you were almost running, hurrying to the perron your train was waiting for you. It was one of those days were you would leave for work on the other side of the city and would come back maybe a couple of weeks later. To be completely honest with yourself, you despised your job, everything about it made you mentally and physically sick. From the long travel, being away from home for such long hours ‘till the misogynistic men who would command you around and make sickening comments and jokes about ‘the females’. However you didn’t have much of a choice. Living alone with your mom who wasn’t in the right mental state to work and a little brother who is still too young to and is trying his hardest studying to achieve his dream to become a doctor, left you no other choice but to find the most high paying job you were able to get into.

That same job was the reason why you were hurrying as fast as you could right now, bumping into strangers here and there and mumbling a quick ‘sorry’ while pacing along. Only a few more steps. The staff member of the train was already putting the flute into his mouth, ready to signal that they would leave, when you passed him into the train. And there was the whistle. The doors closed and you went ahead and searched for your place in the train. Usually you would sit next to a window. That was one of the good things about this trip, the scenery you passed was absolutely gorgeous and a great distraction from your thoughts. Lucky for you there was still a two-seated place left. You sat yourself down on the ugly blue seating after placing your bag in the little storage above it. Already feeling hot because of the hurrying you took off your long brown jacket, one of the more fancy clothing pieces you owned and put it on the seat next to you. You weren’t expecting anyone to sit next to you anyways, nobody really ever did unless the train was really full. However today looked like a rather peaceful day for the ride to the other side.

Letting out a content sigh because you made it in time and you now had time to relax, you sat backwards and craned your neck to look at the other passengers, checking if the same people as normal were there. By now you took this train so many times you knew almost everybody’s name, where they got off and what their favourite lunch break was. The last part made you embarrassed. Let’s just say you liked watching people when you were bored, not in the creepy way of course. You just found them interesting, it always fascinated you how everyone truly has their own life and their own intentions, a family, jobs, beliefs and dreams. So today you started looking around again. On the left side of you, the other side of the ail, sat Lucy. A middle-aged woman, slick black hair, most of the times in a ponytail except if she was running late and in a rush. Usually she would be typing away on her laptop or she was on the phone with what you assumed her kids, since she always talked in such a loving and motherly way to the person on the other side of the line. Sitting in front of her was the elderly man you absolutely adored. You didn’t find out his name yet, but you found him a George so to you he was named George. George would mostly read some newspapers and play sudoku here and there. He loved his granola bars as he eats about 3 in only 1 hour. Honestly you were doubting if it was healthy, you should search that up later. Next to George was an elderly lady, you did know her name since she was quite the speaker and introduced herself sometime in the past to you and every train ride would have small talk with everyone she could. Her name was Lilith, the most loving lady you ever saw. You knew she was old because she had told you her age but honestly you couldn’t really tell, her beautiful black skin barely having wrinkles and her smile making her seem 20 years younger and let me tell you, she smiled a lot. She especially smiled a lot at George. Deep down you hoped they would end up together, you knew Lilith was single after all.

But the most interesting person was seated in front of you. Well not directly like George with Lucy, they were seated on a 4-seat area, you were on the 2-seat area. But he was though and he was facing your way. You could see him through the little line between the two seats in front of you, sitting at your left, the seat away from the window. He had dark brown hair, lighter brown highlights going through them, it would usually hang over his forehead and sometimes even over his eyes when he looked down. Speaking about eyes, he did look in your way a few times but usually you would look away real quick, embarrassed. The few seconds you did see his eyes though you noticed how interesting and beautiful of a shape they had and how childish they looked in a way. Usually he would either be playing a game on his phone or napping, which got him to miss his stop a few times. It would make a lot of curse words come out of him, which would make you giggle and make Lilith give the young boy a lesson about the meaning of curse words and how they are not the way to go. It was one of the only times you heard his voice. Except for the rare times he would have his earphones plugged in and he would quietly be seeing along to the lyrics of the song that he was listening to. The first time it happened it completely caught you off guard, it was rather quiet in the train, the only thing being heard was the typing of Lucy on her laptop and George and Lilith quietly whispering to each other while the rain was ticking against the windows. That’s when you heard the most unique and beautiful sounding voice sing along to a song you never heard of before but immediately googled as soon as you had access to Wi-Fi. You didn’t dare to look at him even once, afraid that if he would notice you were listening and he would stop. So you kept quiet, closed your eyes and laid your head against the window while his voice mixed in with the rain, soothing you and making you drift off into a slumber. That was the first time you missed your stop and was late for work.

Today he was back at playing his game, his tanned fingers clicking here and there, his hair covering his concentrated face while his tongue was sticking out of his mouth slightly. You were about to take off your jacket because you noticed how hot you were again, when you noticed you had already done that. That is.. strange. You shook the feeling off and decided to just stare out of the window, maybe that would cool you down. The sound of the door of the compartment opening and closing in the background as you looked at the outside world zooming by you, it was probably the conductor checking for tickets. You felt in your right pocket of your jeans to make sure your ticket was there and it was, so you got back to relaxing. The sound of heels ticking against the floor, it made you think of your mom when she would go out to a bar, already quite wasted before even leaving the house. A shiver went down your spine thinking about the memory. You despised the sound more than anything, so you couldn’t be happier when it had stopped.

‘Mind if I sit here?’ Startled you turned your head to look at the tall and stunning woman standing next to the seat your jacket was lying down on. She gave you the brightest smile you had ever seen except for Lilith’s and you couldn’t help but nod in confusion as you took the jacket of the stool and instead placed it on your lap. Quietly she sat down and it stayed quiet for a few more minutes. She probably just wanted some peace and quiet, that’s why she maybe came to this compartment. This was one of the more quiet ones, the others either consisted of business people or teenagers. So you decided to give her that peace and quiet and stared outside the window again. ‘My name is Savannah. Nice to meet you.’ Even more startled then the first time you turned around to look at her and the hand she extended for you to shake. Which you did, while greeting her back. ‘Nice to meet you Savannah, I’m Y/N.’ Again she smiled as brightly as ever. ‘So, what brings you on this train today, y/n?’ Her hand went through her short and curly, blonde hair. ‘Work.’ You smiled sadly. She noticed. ‘You don’t like your work?’ Were you really going to explain that to this stranger you just met? ‘Not really, long story. What about you? What brings you here?’ You decided to keep it simple and switch the spotlight on her. ‘Same as you.’ But she seemed happy saying it. ‘I work in a social and psychological field.’ She answered a question you never asked, however you still nodded, actually quite interested, there was something about this woman that you couldn’t place your finger on. ‘I study people and their behaviour. While doing that I mostly ask one question.’ A pause, her eyes piercing trough yours, like they were waiting on something. It was almost uncomfortable. ‘And that question is?’ You decided to ask so she continued on with her story. ‘What kind of person are you?’ Another nod from your side, this time more confused. Suddenly she scooted a little closer and looked out the window for a quick second before bringing her glance back to you. ‘Let’s do an experiment! Let’s say.. hypothetically I asked you to do something that affects someone in this train but doesn’t have any effect on you.’ ‘And what do I have to do?’ ‘It’s simple. There is a person on this train who doesn’t belong here and has something they shouldn’t have. They are carrying a bag, you don’t know what it looks like. The only thing you have to do is find them.’ Your confusion grew even bigger. ‘Why would I do that?’ A chuckle escaped her lips. ‘There is a reward in return.’ ‘What kind of reward?’ Her blue eyes scanned around the room, trying to find a person who heard you being a bit too loud while asking that question. After finding no one her face came even closer to yours. ‘In the bathroom in the second wagon is 75 thousand dollars. The money is yours if you do that one little thing.’ You blinked once, twice. ‘You said hypothetically.’ ‘One little thing, nothing more. You only have to find them.’ ‘Nothing more?’ ‘Nothing more.’ You bit your lip. Was this some sort of prank? A few minutes ago you didn’t even know of the existence of this woman and now she was offering you to find this person in exchange for so much money. If you had been in the right mind you would have said no to such a dumb offer, what were they going to do with that person either way and how would you even find them, would there even be money? But it still sounded attempting, very even. You could pay for your brothers college and maybe even move out with him, to a save and better place for him to grow up. You could maybe even find another job. Very tempting. You could just check the bathroom and see if she was right, if so you could just take the money and go and never come back and if she was lying you could just go on with your day and have a new experience with a crazy lady in your memory frame.

The speakers announced that it had arrived at one of the stops. Savannah got up. ‘Looks like it’s my stop. You have until the next stop to decide. Don’t tell anyone about this deal or there will be consequences.’ She walked off but halted before the doors of the compartment and turned around to ask you the question one more time.

‘What kind of person are you?’

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cosmonautiks · 3 years

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Research Project

The next anime I’m watching for my research project is Satoshi Kon’s Perfect Blue. I am analyzing the themes and audiovisual techniques of the film in it’s relation to it’s portrayal as a psychological thriller. I hope you enjoy my analysis below.

TW: mentions of rape, violence, murder, stalking, hallucinatory states

The first 1/3rd of the movie introduces Mima, a young woman who has left a pop idol group to become a solo actress. It is quickly becoming recognizable to Mima that someone is stalking her- calling her on the phone, sending faxes to her apartment, and even creating a webpage that catalogues her day-to-day life. The situation quickly becomes even more dangerous when she is sent a letter that explodes and injures her manager when he opened it. Throughout some scenes we get glimpses of a man who is introduced at the beginning of the movie as a fan of Mima. This leads the audience to believe that he may be behind the attacks.

I think the use of sound to correspond to imagery is particularly effective. When the fax comes out of her machine, it reads “TRAITOR” over and over again. A sound akin to a fax machine but brassier with a darker tone fades in as the fax prints out. This sound is played again later when Mima gets into the elevator at work and sees a newspaper clipping of a recent hit and run. The victim is a person who was being disruptive and aggressive at Mima’s last show with her idol group. The elevator doors close with an up close on her fan’s face as he smiles.

Later we see the first scene with the alter-ego version of Mima, who is still a pop idol and dressed in her stage clothes. She appears quickly within a reflection of a train window that Mima is riding just to say a line that “she refuses to do it” before disappearing again (referring to a rape scene that is in a TV drama that Mima is a character in).

After Mima plays her role in the rape scene, she appears to be completely fine. But once she gets home and she discovers that her fish are dead everything culminates for her and she has a panic attack. She tosses items around in her room and collapses upon her bed, sobbing about how she didn’t want to do the scene and how awful it was for her.

I think the metaphor used of the fish dying is quite effective. It’s shown earlier in the movie that while she occasionally forgets to feed them, she cares for the fish a lot, even buying them premium food. So now that they’re dead it’s like her life is falling apart.

She sees her alter-ego self again reflected in her computer screen. The next scene confirms that it’s her fan who has been writing the blog about her whereabouts. Later on her alter-ego self is scene again, taunting her and saying that she is no longer the real Mima and that she’s dirty for doing the rape scene. The alter-ego self jumps out of Mima’s balcony and floats away, jumping from streetlamp to streetlamp until she fades away. This seems to confirm that her alter-ego self is a hallucination. Her alter-ego self appears more frequently to taunt her.

The next murder that happens is of the screenwriter for the TV drama that Mima is in.

A compilation of scenes of multiple days of Mima’s life plays. However it is revealed by Rumi that those multiple days were actually only one day as Rumi visited Mima yesterday and the news on her TV seems to confirm this. Mima is starting to slowly lose touch with herself and the compilation shots do an excellent job of showing this.

Throughout the movie we get scenes from the TV drama that Mima is playing a character in. Mima’s character seems to be having the same predicament the real Mima is having where she has a double personality. The other personality for Mima’s character is murdering people while the main personality has no idea.

Later on the photographer who did a gravure shoot of Mima is murdered viciously by who seems to be Mima herself. This makes the audience wonder- were the previous murders done by Mima? Her stalker? The movie, at this point, has all of these plot points unclear.

This scene is horrifically gorgeous. It has Mima stabbing the photographer over and over with a screwdriver as scenes of her from her TV drama plays behind her. Mima’s character on screen is also murdering someone with the same screwdriver that the “real” Mima is using. This is cut with scenes from the shoot with the photographer with lots of nudity. This scene is also cut with what appears to be set lights- so this makes the audience wonder which Mima is this? The real Mima? The alter-ego Mima? Or the character that Mima is playing? The music is quite intense too and it reflects the high anxiety of the situation taking place.

After the TV drama wraps up with it’s final episode, Mima is walking down a hallway to meet her managers outside. Her stalker appears and attacks her, revealing that he is killing her because the “real” Mima sends him emails everyday, talking about how this Mima is getting in her way. So he’s going to kill Mima just like he killed the others (the hit-and-run victim, the screenwriter, the photographer).

This is quite jarring for the audience who only had these assumptions all along of what was real/fake. Between Mima’s hallucinations and her stalker’s appearances it is difficult to discern what was actually happening in the real world of this movie. The visual and writing techniques along with Kon’s direction make this movie such a masterpiece.

Mima kills her stalker but when she goes back his body is gone. Rumi takes her home to her apartment where she tries to call her other manager but the audience sees that he has been killed. Mima looks around her room and notices her dead fish have been replaced and a poster that she took down at the beginning of the movie of her in the pop idol group has been put back up. Mima’s alter ego self comes out and starts talking to Mima, but within the mirror in her room it’s revealed that this alter-ego self is actually Rumi.

So this leads the audience to wonder- are all the hallucinations actually just Rumi? Were there any that was just Mima dreaming? Rumi reveals that she was working with the stalker to try and kill Mima.

Mima starts to run away and the alter-ego Mima (Rumi) chases after her, trying to further injure and kill her.

Throughout the majority of this scene we see Rumi as the alter-ego Mima and she is painted with saturated colors and illuminated with a halo of light around her. This technique puts the alter-ego Mima in a state of non-reality as she is painted differently compared to her environment. She is fantastical, beautiful, and bright but her intentions are dangerous. We see a faint image behind the alter-ego Mima that shows Rumi sweating and running as fast as possible to try and catch up with Mima. This double showing of a character to show a double personality is quite striking.

Rumi’s image of herself as Mima is broken when her wig falls off. This startles her and she reaches for the wig, and while doing so, is injured by a piece of broken glass. She yells and stumbles to the side of the road and puts back on her wig. She is almost hit by a car before Mima shoves her out of the way. Their chase is over as the pair lay by the side of the road, severely bloodied and injured.

In the end Rumi is put into a mental hospital and it is revealed that she still thinks of herself as Mima.

I’m aware this is quite a long analysis and it may not have been eloquently written as I had wanted it to be. It is extremely difficult to summarize this movie as so much happens and a lot of it is up to the audience’s discretion. The audiovisual and writing techniques in this movie gave me as an audience member (for the first time that I watched) quite a difficult time trying to discern what was happening. After several rewatches and this analysis I’ve come to understand this movie better.

I hope you enjoyed this analysis and if you haven’t already seen this movie I highly recommend it! Satoshi Kon is such a wonderful director and I’m glad he got to gift us with so many wonderful films before his passing.

#perfect blue #anime analysis #anime #satoshi kon

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banterandwit · 4 years

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Gothic Literature- Drawing on feminist readings of Gothic Literature analyse the way in which Gothic Literature has responded to the changing roles of women in society.

The Gothic genre has always been viewed through the lenses of psychological thriller or horror. The strange and uncanny of it all causes the unease that we as readers have come to love. But what is it that causes such unease and why do the writers of such a genre become so entranced by it? The stories of The Castle of Otranto, Carmilla, Rebecca and Twilight are excellent in their own right. Yet the path of most fruition in understanding these stories is through the lens of feminism. Through it one can begin to unravel the role of women throughout history and it’s ever changing presence. As such this essay will establish what each of the stories define as the roles of women beginning with The Castle of Otranto and how Hippolatia is depicted as Walpole’s ideal women as opposed to Isabella or Matilda who are naïve and do not understand their role in society. Next, the essay will look at Carmilla and how Le Fanu’s vampire is the embodiment of the threat of feminism in the era and the freedom to womanhood that Carmilla represents by removing the male from sexual relations. The story of Rebecca will look at the twentieth century woman and the breakdown of norms and Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight will look at how this breakdown has shaped the modern role of women.

The Castle of Otranto (Walpole, 2001) written in 1764, follows the story of Manfred, the lord of the Castle and his family. Walpole’s novel indicates the dominant, infallibility of men as opposed to their “damsel in distress” (Siddiqui, 2016) counterparts. In the nineteenth century, women had no rights and were considered second class citizens, and received “unworthy inheritance, such as bible, books and household goods” (Gilbert and Gubar, 2006). Hippolita, Manfred’s wife, is a prime example of this since she is so willing to accept divorce from her spouse simply because he said so. Walpole (2001) explains in the novel that “a bad husband is better than no husband” and without pleading or begging, Hippolita accepted the fate her husband wrote for her. In fact, she has no place to argue- she has submitted herself to her husband “physically, economically, psychologically and mentally” (Siddiqui, 2016). Due to this, Hippolita is the exemplary form of womanhood in The Castle of Otranto. She accepts her divorce and, in the novel, explains that she will “withdraw into the neighbouring monastery and the remainder of life in prayers and tears for my child and –the Prince’’ (p.90-91). She does not fight for her rights and gives herself to God because that is what is expected of her, something she tries to pass on to Matilda and Isabella when she explains, ‘’It is not ours to make election for ourselves; heaven, our father and husband must decide for us’’ (Walpole, 2001). This further highlights Hippolita’s ideology that the men of the family and in the lives of the women have priority in life, being dependent and subservient on these men is what is expected of women and hence the role of women should be of servitude to their husbands and fathers.

Matilda and Isabella are younger than Hippolita and have less of an understanding of how they should be dependent. Although Hippolita tries to explain to them, Matilda only understands through her own experiences. As a female child of Manfred, she is introduced as “a most beautiful virgin, aged eighteen” (Walpole, 2001) as if to say those are her only qualities- she is good looking and at the age to marry. However, she is still a woman and therefore “equally dismissed since under the prevailing system of primogeniture only males could be heirs” (Ellis, 2010). She is neglected by her father and even when she tries to comfort him after Conrad’s death she is met with “cruel emotional attitude” (Putri, 2012). Walpole (2001, p.21) writes:

“She was however just going to beg admittance when Manfred suddenly opened his door; and it was now twilight, concurring with the disorder of his mind, he did not distinguish the person, but asked angrily, who it was? Matilda replied trembling, “my dearest father, it is I, your daughter”. Manfred stepping back hastily, cried “Begone, I do not want a daughter”, and flinging back abrupty, clapped the door against the terrified Matilda”

Due to this, Matilda must accept that due to her gender she is expected to be treated in such a manner and her father will not give her any affection. Putri (2012) writes that for Manfred- “it would be better that Matilda be neither seen nor heard.” (p.7). Isabella who is Conrad’s fiancée is forced by her father to marry Manfred after Conrad’s death. She too is a victim of the patriarchal society in which she lives. She must marry Manfred even if there is no love there and only after Matilda’s death does Theodore accept her, and she becomes Lady of the castle. Even after this, the assumption would be that she becomes subservient to Theodore as opposed to her father. Therefore, the role of women in The Castle of Otranto is subservience to the men in their lives and this is their calling.

In contrast, Le Fanu’s Carmilla (2005) originally written in 1897 is the story of Laura and Carmilla, two young women who do not obey such a patriarchy and are in a lesbian relationship. Before Carmilla, vampires were predominantly male such as Lord Ruthven from John William Polidori's The Vampyre (2017). Signorotti (1996) argues that Le Fanu’s choice of creating a powerful female vampire was because it “marks the growing concern about the power of female relationships in the nineteenth century” since this was the time “feminists began to petition for additional rights for women. Concerned with women's power and influence, writers . . . often responded by creating powerful women characters, the vampire being one of the most powerful negative images” (Senf, 1988). It is for this reason that Carmilla is depicted in such a frightening and sensual way by Laura. She represents the allure of women as sexual beings with fangs dangerous enough to topple the patriarchy that the women in Walpole’s novel held to such esteem. Laura recounts one night that:

“I saw a solemn, but very pretty face looking at me from the side of the bed. It was that of a young lady who was kneeling, with her hands under the coverlet. I looked at her with a kind of pleased wonder and ceased whimpering. She caressed me with her hands, and lay down beside me on the bed, and drew me towards her, smiling; I felt immediately delightfully soothed, and fell asleep again. I was wakened by a sensation as if two needles ran into my breast very deep at the same moment, and I cried loudly. The lady started back, with her eyes fixed on me, and then slipped down upon the floor, and, as I thought, hid herself.” (Le Fanu, 2005)

Carmilla is liberating her fellow woman from the grip of a male dominated life and the needles of freedom cause her pain from the familiarity she initially grew up with into an unknown but free world where their union without a male partner gives them liberation from male authority.

The exclusion of the man is further shown by General Spielsdorf’s recount of when he tried to catch the vampire that was causing his niece, Bertha, to become ill. He watches from the door as he saw “a large black object, very ill-defined, crawl, as it seemed to me, over the foot of the bed, and swiftly spread itself up to the poor girl's throat.” (Le Fanu, 2005). Carmilla takes away the male inclusion and leaves him a voyeur to a union that is beyond the heterosexual norm. This is a freedom from the patriarchal society that has ruled over women for centuries into a freedom over their own lives both physically and psychologically. Signorotti (1996) explains that “Le Fanu allows Laura and Carmilla to usurp male authority and to be stow themselves on whom they please, completely excluding male participation in the exchange of women.” (p.607). This exchange symbolises the change in normality. Not only are women becoming independent from males for their living needs, they are also becoming free in their sexual needs. Where The Castle of Otranto focused on the ideal women being subservient and dependent on the male in one’s life, Carmilla focuses on the threat of women to oppose Walpole’s standard of servitude to the patriarch that controlled their lives and of their bodies as factories for new male heirs. Carmilla is the free women that Walpole’s characters never dreamed of.

Rebecca (Du Maurier, 2007) was written in in the twentieth century (1938) and is the story of the narrator’s marriage to Maxim de Winter and the subsequent flashbacks to her time in Manderley where she learnt about her husband’s first wife Rebecca and her lingering presence even after her death. Nigro (2000) argues that although the common assumption about Rebecca is that she is manipulative and convinced everyone she is flawless, she was justifiably murdered according to the second Mrs. de Winter. “What if, however, Maxim is the one who is lying, and Rebecca was as good as reputation held her, if his jealousy was the true motive for her murder?” (p. 144). Furthermore, Wisker (1999) points out that Du Maurier is known to have unreliable narrators. Therefore, finding the truth behind Rebecca’s character, flawed or perfect, becomes difficult. This difficulty blurs the lines between gender roles and conformity. The superiority of men is shown by Mrs. Danvers’ comparison of Rebecca as a man, “"She had all the courage and spirit of a boy, had my Mrs. de Winter. She ought to have been a boy, I often told her that. I had the care of her as a child. You knew that, did you?" (Du Maurier, 2007) showing the importance of being a “man” at the time and how they were seen to be superior. When the audience finds out about Rebecca’s imperfect character, one of her detrimental features is that she is promiscuous and why Maxim killed her. Maxim’s murder could therefore be because he was constrained by what people would think if his wife was expose to be a “harlot” and murdered her to uphold the principles that Walpole emphasised- something he cannot go against in his social circle, whilst Rebecca herself was trying to be as free as Carmilla and trying her best to live a happy life unconstrained by social norms and patriarchal glances. The role of gender and women becomes blurred in Rebecca as these roles begin to breakdown and become synonymous to both genders.

Maxim’s attitude towards his new wife is almost paternalistic, treating her like an immature girl referring to her as “my child” and “my poor lamb” (Du Maurier, 2007). Where Mrs de Winter wants to become more mature, Maxim tries to keep her away calling it "not the right sort of knowledge" (p. 223) and telling her “it’s a pity you have to grow up” to block her from gaining the maturity that she craves. As a result, Mrs de Winter becomes trapped in a purgatory between maturity and upper-class standards and immaturity and the life she has come from. This entrapment is what the patriarchal norms establish, the damsel that must be guided by a firm male hand because of her ignorance as opposed to the woman being on equal footing to the man and someone who can take care of themselves. It is this standard that the narrator is held to and is also the standard Maxim held Rebecca to and subsequently murdered her because of. The shame from having a free woman as a wife is what led him to his crime. It is for this reason that the ultimate villain of Rebecca is in fact the patriarchal system in which the characters are confined. Wisker (2003) argues that the aristocratic setting of Rebecca “was to represent an unease at the configurations of power and gendered relations of the time.” Pons (2013) furthers this argument and explains that “the ultimate gothic villain is the haunting presence of an old-fashioned, strict patriarchal system, represented by Maxims mansion, Manderley, and understood as a hierarchical system.” This configuration of patriarchy established in the eighteenth century by Walpole is that of servitude for women and dominance for men. However, in an era where women have more power and have freedom as expressed in Carmilla suggests that these roles are becoming unfulfillable and it is because of this system that the characters are led to “hypocrisy, hysteria and crime.” (Pons, 2013). Thus, the role of women as a strict social etiquette breaks down and although they are treated still as subjects, the shift in power to give women their freedom is evident.

Twilight (Meyer, 2012) written in 2005, follows the story of Bella Swan who falls in love with a vampire and the subsequent life they have together. However, it is subject to great controversy especially because of Bella herself. She seems to conform to female roles that are more akin to Hippolita than Carmilla. Rocha (2011) argues that “Bella illustrates female submission in a male dominated world; disempowering herself and symbolically disempowering women.” She sees herself in a negative light that is incapable of doing anything herself and is totally submissive in nature becoming a pawn in the life of the men of her life. Mann (2009) argues “When Bella falls in love, then, a girl in love is all she is. By page 139 she has concluded that her mundane life is a small price to pay for the gift of being with Edward, and by the second book she’s willing to trade her soul for that privilege” (p.133) and hence has a Hippolitaian quality of sacrifice for the pleasure of men and hence develops nothing about herself. Mann (2009) continues to say that “Other than her penchant for self-sacrifice and the capacity to attract the attention of boys, Bella isn’t really anyone special. She has no identifiable interests or talents; she is incompetent in the face of almost every challenge...When she needs something done, especially mechanical, she finds a boy to do it and watches him. (p.133) This leaves Bella as a “damsel-in-distress” (Rocha, 2011) where Edward becomes her saviour. Thus, the role of women in Twilight seems to be that of a possession to enhance the male being.

It could however be argued that Twilight contains a relationship that female readers can relate to in its ability to show the “women’s powerlessness and their desire for revenge and appropriation.” (Jarvis, 2014) and how the heroine proves to the hero ‘‘their infinite preciousness’’ (Modleski, 1982) bringing the hero to contemplate, worry and obsess over the heroine in a way that the female reader can share “the heroines’ powerlessness and accompanying frustration.” (Jarvis, 2013). This leads to what Nicol (2011) explains is the ‘‘complexities of female sexuality for women in the twenty-first century’’ in so far as it provides a ‘‘socially sanctioned space in which to explore their sexual desires.” These desires are evident in Bella and Edward’s first kiss, that Bella describes:

“His cold, marble lips pressed very softly against mine. Blood boiled under my skin, burned in my lips. My breath came in a wild gasp. My fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to me. My lips parted as I breathed in his heady scent.” (Meyer, 2005, p. 282)

This sexual tension is introduced earlier in the book where Bella is told that ‘‘Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him’’ (Meyer, 2005 p. 19). Jarvis (2014) explains that because of this any “female who secures the inaccessible Edward will rise in the esteem of her community” and since she is claiming him, someone who thinks of herself as “ordinary” (p. 210) the excitement for both Bella and the reader who is caught in this sexual act- almost participating in it- is why the sexual nature of the book is so enticing. Therefore, although Bella can be seen as holding the values of Hippolita, the Twilight saga speaks volumes in its showing of the complexities of the social code that twenty-first century women must abide by. They are expected to be as obedient as Hippolita whilst being as sexual desirable as Carmilla or Rebecca. Bella’s metamorphosis from the ordinary human to the alluring vampire symbolises this. Women’s roles therefore have changed to give them more freedom, but they are still expected to behave like Hippolita when the “freedom” they have been given.

In conclusion, the role of women and their identities have changed over the centuries. Walpole’s eighteenth-century idealism was that of the subservient woman that belonged to the patriarchal figure in their life in order to produce a good heir. The nineteenth century however became the start of the empowerment of women and much of the anxiety in Carmilla is her powerful nature as a woman to do as she pleases, removing the man and the patriarchy from Le Fanu’s world. She is thus depicted as a vampire- alluring and deadly- much like giving freedom to women who cannot control nor be trusted with the power they could be given. Rebecca leads to the twentieth century where the woman has been given some freedom to do as she pleases so long as it is under the watch of a man. Maxim’s murder and subsequent second marriage where because he could not control his first wife. The twenty-first century culmination of these roles comes in the form of Twilight where the heroin seems bland on the surface but actually shows the metamorphosis of womanhood through the centuries from that of a second-class servant to the ultimate freedom away from the patriarchy that Le Fanu’s Carmilla started centuries ago. As a result, the role of women has been fluid through the years. The ultimate goal of feminism is to have equality and the books that have been mentioned show that equality can only be achieved if any form of patriarchal culture is removed- a feat that has yet to be conquered.

#Wit #women's history #Women's roles #Gothic #Gothic History #Vampires #essay

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chiseler · 4 years

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“You think I’m the only one in this town who doesn’t like people?”

Following the JFK assassination, and especially after Charles Whitman climbed the Texas Tower in August of 1966, shooting and killing 14 strangers over the course of a lazy afternoon, lone mad snipers became an easy thriller standby. Targets, The Day of the Jackal, Two Minute Warning and dozens of other films since the late ‘60s have focused on a man, a rifle, and a perch. While snipers weren’t unknown to Hollywood prior to 1963 (Suddenly, Murder by Contract—even The Manchurian Candidate was in production before the assassination), they focused almost exclusively on gunmen with a purpose, paid assassins who were after a single, specific target, a politician or a mob hit. 1952’s The Sniper was not only one of the earliest films centered around an urban sniper, but remained an exception, really until the moment Whitman began pulling the trigger.

While on the surface The Sniper is a standard, straightforward police procedural about the hunt for a killer, what made it different was that the killer in question was a presumably unbalanced presumed vet who was killing random brunettes around San Francisco with a high-powered Army-issue carbine rifle. What also made the film different for the era was its focus on the psychology (some boilerplate Freudian hoo-hah) driving the killing spree. But beyond even all that, deep down it’s a profoundly strange picture disguised, for all its groundbreaking elements, as any other B thriller.

But let me back up here a second and come at this from a different angle.

In 1945, like so many intellectuals and Hollywood types (and when was the last time those two appeared in the same sentence?), director Edward Dmytryk began his little flirtation with the Communist Party. A few years later, like so many others, he found himself dragged in front of HUAC where he was asked to name names. When he refused, he was thrown in stir along with the rest of the Hollywood Ten on charges of contempt of Congress.

After a few months in prison, though, Dmytryk had a change of heart and called his lawyer. In 1951 he was released from prison, appeared before HUAC again, but this time in a far more cooperative mood, providing interrogators not only with 26 names, but also detailing how he’d been pressured to slip subliminal Commie messages into pictures like Crossfire. After this, having lost his martyrdom and no longer beloved of Hollywood’s Communist community, Dmytryk found himself just as effectively blacklisted as he had been before. So he moved to England and teamed up with producer Stanley Kramer, who would put him back to work for the next several years.

This is not the place to discuss Dmytryk’s politics, his justification or damnation, to pass self-righteous judgments long after the fact. But it is interesting to consider the first film made by a man fresh out of prison would be a message film about a rogue gunman picking off Californian brunettes, and one has to wonder if his time behind bars in any way influenced the film’s opening crawl.

Written by a powerhouse trio at the time (script by Harry Brown from a story by Edna and Edward Anhalt), The Sniper opens by informing us that present-day laws and law enforcement were useless when it came to dealing with sex crimes, and that the story we were about to see concerned a man “whose enemy was womankind.”

In the film’s first few seconds we meet the man in question, Eddie Miller, and it’s clear he’s teetering on the edge of something bad. Arthur Franz hadn’t yet established himself as a genre stalwart, playing rational, low-key, friendly sorts in the likes of Invaders from Mars and Monster on the Campus, and here turns in a remarkable performance as a believable psychopath. He never goes over the top and bug-eyed, instead playing Eddie as a tightly wound but always self controlled young man who may get occasionally twitchy and sweaty but always remains nearly emotionless.

A former mental patient who is well aware that things are going wrong in his head again, Eddie does what he can to get himself committed, but no one’s cooperating. In fact seen through Eddie’s eyes, the entire world is simply one slap, one humiliation after another. To some of us anyway, he’s an extremely sympathetic character.

Marie Windsor

Although later in the film the police come to the conclusion that he must be an ex-soldier, we are never given any proof of this apart from his weapon of choice. It doesn’t matter—now he drives a delivery truck for a laundry service. One of the regular customers along his route is attractive young nightclub pianist Jean Darr (Marie Windsor), who appears to be one of the few people, and certainly the only woman, who’s nice to him. So when what he believes to be a seduction turns out to be, well, not only not a seduction but ends with Jean treating him like any other errand boy, he snaps. It’s the only scene in the film in which his face reveals any emotion at all apart from confusion or cold boredom. That night he waits on a rooftop across from the bar where she works and shoots her as she heads home.

Enter the police, which adds another layer onto the external story behind the film. As Det. Kafka (if there is any significance to that name it’s never made clear), Adolphe Menjou, is also playing against future type as a gruff, less than suave, and mostly hapless cop. A few years prior to the film, Menjou was known as one of the fiercest defenders of HUAC in the business, which of course made his pairing with Dmytryk here a potentially disastrous one. By all accounts, however, it was a perfectly amicable working relationship, so much so that Dmytryk would use him again in a few of his subsequent films . But that’s irrelevant, too.

As more seemingly random dark haired young women are being picked off around the city (which in spite of all the location shooting is never identified as San Francisco), the police bring in criminal psychologist Dr. Kent (Richard Kiley) to work out a profile. With precious little evidence, the doctor jumps to the remarkable conclusion that these are in fact sexually motivated shootings. And that leads to the first head-scratching scene of the film.

Taking Dr. Kent’s very broad conclusion at face value, the cops round up every pervert in town for a line-up. Now, given that there have been no witnesses who saw the shooter, a line-up is pointless. Perhaps the cops realize this, which explains why the chief interrogator (sitting at a table in front of an auditorium full of officers) runs the line-up like a routine from an old Bob Hope special, introducing and dismissing the peeping toms, gropers, and rapists with well-prepared one-liners. To a schlub who writes obscene mash notes to strangers he begins, “So, Bob, they say the pen is mightier than the sword...”

It’s an oddball comic scene completely out of step with the rest of the film, and a scene that makes no sense within the context of a serious police drama. It’s darkly funny, yes (especially considering that we’re dealing with convicted sex offenders as the butt of bad jokes), and had the rest of the film been handled in this tone, well, it would have been a very different picture. As it stands it’s merely jarring and leaves viewers wondering what the hell it’s doing there. Personally I can’t recall another cutaway even remotely close to this in any other Dmytryk picture. Logically enough, though, the scene ends with dr. Kent muttering “this is pointless” before leaving the room.

He then goes on to deliver the film’s heavy handed message to the mayor, the press, and the other investigators—namely (and here’s where I wonder if Dmytryk’s prison experience is being reflected) that anyone arrested for a sex crime of any kind should be locked in a psych ward until they’re cured of their personal glitch. And if they aren’t cured, they should be left there locked away for good.

That leads to another delightfully baffling line of dialogue as Kafka orders a teenager with a broken antique rifle be sent to a nearby bughouse. “I don’t wanna be looking for this kid again in a couple years,” Kafka explains, “when he’s got a real gun...or maybe an axe.”

(An axe?)

In spite of a few weirdnesses along the way The Sniper still played like most any boilerplate thriller while at the same time being years ahead of the game both in terms of subject and solution. Extrapolating a bit on Dr. Kent’s recommendation, the kid being sent to the psych ward had not been convicted of a sex crime—he was just acting weird. Likewise, following the latest school shooting the do gooders are once again calling for the psychological incarceration of anyone who thinks differently, acts differently, isn’t like everyone else, as they represent a very tangible future threat. But the answer to this hamfisted solution can also be found in the very same scene. Before being sent to the local Bin, the above-mentioned teen with the broken gun tells Kafka, “You think I’m the only one in town who doesn’t like people? There’s millions of ‘em!” And we’ve been proving him right since 1966. So maybe it’s time we stop talking about locking these people up pre-emptively, and finally come around to accepting the simple fact that mass shootings might well be nothing more than a rational response to an insane world. by Jim Knipfel

#Jim Knipfel #The Chiseler #The Sniper #Marie Windsor #noir

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monster-mum · 5 years

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A Count Down to Death

Recently I have been feeling my age. At thirty-five I’m hardly over the hill, but I am not feeling particularly spritely. It amazes me how in my mind I still feel eighteen, yet the pain in my back and hip are a sharp, consistent, nagging reminder that I am not. The ridiculous thing is I am in much better shape now than I was at eighteen, but man do I miss the days of being able to eat whatever I wanted and not feel, or see the repercussions of that decision. Now all I need do is be in the vicinity of a cheeseburger and then BAM my bum is rivalling that of a Kardashian’s. I find myself looking around at my friends and thinking about how old they are, and if they’re feeling their age, for one reason or another I think they are. Most of my friends have young monsters in their houses though, so I am thinking that this has something to do with how old and tired we all are. I guarantee that a parent asked how they are will respond either verbally or mentally with “tired.” Maybe that is why I am feeling old and it has nothing to do with me being five years shy of my fortieth birthday.

I have a really bad way of thinking about age, I think about time left before I likely die, as opposed to how little time I have had here. I can honestly tell you, it is not a very optimistic point of view. I do not recommend it. So, you can imagine the bittersweet experience I have every birthday. I love presents, but hate counting down to my ultimate demise. Cheerful aren’t I.

Nothing reminds you better of your old, aging self more than that of playing with a child. Oh yes, they pretend innocence and ignorance but they are mocking us with their youth and young, energetic bodies as they run circles around you in Tesco while shouting about something bizarre. For example;

Myself, Steven, Lyla and Lachlan are in the kitchen. I am making the boys their lunch and Lyla has informed me that she is making her own, cue chaos and mess. Me and Steven are talking when he tricks me into saying the same word as him, he then Jinxes me. I cannot speak until he says my name three times.

Lyla laughs manically at the fact I am temporarily mute, Steven smirks then takes pity on me.

Steven: “Mummy, Mummy aaaaaaaand Muuuummmmmmmmy.”

Me: “Thanks Steven. You do know that Mummy isn’t my actual name though don’t you?”

Steven nods.

Lyla: “MUMMY!!”

Lyla does not believe in talking at a normal volume. Everything must be shouted from about five to ten centimetres away from a person’s face. No matter what.

Me: “Yes Lyla?”

Lyla: “Mummy! Your real name is Nicola Whittington! Not Mummy! So, you cannot talk!” She then begins to laugh manically while waving a knife around.

That might sound alarming to some but I’m 40% sure that Lyla wouldn’t stab me in the kitchen. I have it on good authority, from Lyla herself, that if she were going to kill me she would stab me in the eye while I was sleeping.

Lyla is all about the warm feels and sweetness.

Lyla: “And Daddy’s name is Chris Whittington!”

Me: “That’s right. Daddy is Christopher but at work some people call him Dick for short.” I hope I do not have to explain why a Whittington’s nickname is Dick.

And this is where the bizarre chaotic behaviour begins.

It starts with Lyla shout singing “Chris Dick Whittington.” She then introduces a kind of dance that is only seen at the end of a wedding reception. There’s usually that one guy who is drunk and doing some kind of headbanging, Tigger bouncing rock dance, while a very drunk woman, with her shoes in her hand, is swaying and rolling her head around. Combine these two people and you’ll have some clue as to what Lyla’s dance was.

Steven then joins in by turning his Dad’s name into a rap where he says “yeah, uh, yeah” at every break in Lyla’s performance.

This is what children are like. Weird, funny, energetic little creatures.

I actually managed to video part of this performance, which carried on to a great finale, where Steven pointed at Lyla who did some kind of kick jump with a spatula in her hand.

Very strange beings, they must get it from Chris. He is definitely the one who dances around the kitchen singing into spatula’s, (cough cough.)

The energy and shout singing are one of the many ways in which children mock us with their youth. They are also just downright mean.

Me and Lyla are watching Tangled. If you’ve read one of my previous blogs you’ll know this is a favourite of Lyla’s, you will also be familiar with the story. An older woman kindly protects, nurtures and cares for a young woman called Rapunzel, for eighteen years. The only payment she asks in return is to be allowed to sit and brush Rapunzel’s ridiculously long hair and sing a sweet song to her, which also happens to give the older woman a make-over rivalling anything you saw on The Swann. Thus, helping her to look a few years younger. Then Rapunzel runs away with a man, whom she had never met until he broke into her home. She then sets off with him and later horrifically murders the poor older woman. It’s a very cruel story of betrayal.

Anyway, Lyla likes it.

Me: “How old do you think that lady is Lyla?” Pointing at the older woman in the film.

Lyla: “Thirty-six.”

Hmmm…

Me: “Oh, okay. I must look very young then Lyla. How old do you think I am?”

To be fair, I can now see where I went wrong here. I should never have asked this question.

Lyla: “One hundred and eleventity four.”

Sigh.

Me: “So the older lady there looks thirty-six and I, who is thirty-five, looks one hundred and fourteen?”

Lyla: Smiles coyly and feigns innocence “Yep” she then cuddles into me.

I am pretty sure this is some kind of psychological abuse. Telling me I look old, not just old but I look older than the oldest person in the world, but then being affectionate? No wonder I count down to death, I am living some kind of psychological thriller.

I once asked a friend of mine who works in the Mental Health sector to access Lyla for psychopathy. Lyla was five. He informed me that Lyla was not a psychopath and she is a normal child. I told him that when she has grown up and has gone on a killing spree I will be at his door reminding him of this conversation.

So, what have we learnt from this blog today.

1) Children are not innocent in their mocking of our age-related aches and pains.

2) Children are weird.

3) DO NOT MESS WITH LYLA!!

#mummyblogger #mummylife #children #monsters #aginggracefully #reality #mylife #this is my life #parentingblogger #parentblogger #parentblog #mycrazylife #lifewithchildren #my family #getting older

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eddycurrents · 5 years

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For the week of 27 May 2019

Quick Bits:

A Walk Through Hell #10 somehow gets even more disturbing as we’re shown some of McGregor’s past as he was abused and set up as a suicide. The horror that Garth Ennis, Goran Sudžuka, Ive Svorcina, and Rob Steen keep exploring in this series keeps getting more personal and seemingly has no limit to its depth.

| Published by AfterShock

Amazing Spider-Man #22 concludes (mostly) the “Hunted” arc as Kraven continues to try to convince Spider-Man that he’s a killer and to finally put Kraven out of his misery. It’s incredibly messed up logic, but Nick Spencer, Humberto Ramos, Victor Olazaba, Edgar Delgado, Erick Arciniega, and Joe Caramagna make it interesting. You could consider this end anti-climactic, especially after how long this has been, but I get the feeling we’ll be dealing with the ramifications for a while to come.

| Published by Marvel

Amber Blake #3 takes an interesting turn as an undercover operation into a modelling agency reveals that Amber’s childhood friend Amanda is still alive. The level of intrigue and twists in this story just keeps escalating, matching the density of the layouts and art from Butch Guice, Mike Perkins, and Dan Brown.

| Published by IDW

Angel #1 is incredible. Possibly even better than the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series and that has set a ridiculously high bar. Bryan Edward Hill, Gleb Melnikov, Gabriel Cassata, and Ed Dukeshire embrace the darker, moodier feel of Angel consistent with the different atmosphere that was present in the television series, while diving deep into building up his dark past and conflicted future. There’s a lot that is new to this interpretation, which just makes it more intriguing. And the art from Melnikov and Cassata is gorgeous.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Ascender #2 advances the vamps’ plan to eradicate the remaining technology in the universe, as Andy is reunited with Bandit, and the vamps come to threaten him and his family. This remains an interesting new take on the Descender world from Jeff Lemire, Dustin Nguyen, and Steve Wands as we see more of what’s happened since the end of that series.

| Published by Image

Batman: Last Knight on Earth #1 is an interesting debut from Scott Snyder, Greg Capullo, Jonathan Glapion, FCO Plascencia, and Tom Napolitano. On its surface, it’s an “Old Man Bruce” story, as a previously comatose Bruce awakens in a dark and strange future. But this existence is weird and unreliable. Especially as Bruce awakens in a fiction at first, being told that he’s in Arkham and that all of his villains and time as Batman were fever dreams cooked up by a fractured mind. This may well be the best art ever from Capullo, Glapion, and Plascencia.

| Published by DC Comics / Black Label

Black Science #40 shows that the story still has some surprises in store as it rockets towards the end. Also some ridiculous jokes. Matteo Scalera and Moreno Dinisio continue to inventive as hell with the art.

| Published by Image / Giant Generator

Coda #12 is the explosive, brilliant conclusion to what has been on the best series of this year and last. Si Spurrier, Matías Bergara, Michael Doig, and Jim Campbell have delivered some stunning flights of imagination, tapping into some highly inventive nihilistic fantasy, presenting the final battle battle this issue, and, man, does it stick the landing. Phenomenal storytelling all around.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Daredevil #6 begins “No Devils, Only God” in a New York City without Daredevil. Lalit Kumar Sharma, Jay Leisten, and Java Tartaglia come on for art duties for this arc and it’s an interesting shift. Sharma’s style reminds me a bit of Klaus Janson’s, but without the heavy inks and shadows.

| Published by Marvel

Detective Comics Annual #2 heads into Year Two territory as we get a new Reaper from Peter J. Tomasi, Travis Moore, Max Raynor, Tamra Bonvillain, Nick Filardi, and Rob Leigh. This is a nice use of the annual format, giving us a satisfying single issue story setting up a possible future arc.

| Published by DC Comics

The Forgotten Queen #4 brings an end to this excellent series exploring the history of Vexana, War-Monger, from Tini Howard, Amilcar Pinna, Ulises Arreola, and Jeff Powell. Very interesting depth added to the character and interesting hints as to what more might be coming, hopefully.

| Published by Valiant

Hellboy vs. Lobster Johnson: Ring of Death elaborates further on Hellboy’s time in Mexico making wrestling movies in a pair of tales from Mike Mignola, Chris Roberson, Mike Norton, Paul Grist, Dave Stewart, Bill Crabtree, and Clem Robins. Seeing a presentation of the movie Hellboy starred in is a real treat.

| Published by Dark Horse

Immortal Hulk #18 leans hard into the body horror aspect of the series, debuting both Betty’s full form as this new Harpy and in the Abomination. Joe Bennett, Ruy José, and Paul Mounts just nail this perfectly.

| Published by Marvel

Killer Groove #1 is a great first issue from Ollie Masters, Eoin Marron, Jordie Bellaire, and Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou. It’s a taut crime drama mixing a never-was musician with the potential of life as a hitman, as he lucks into a kill during a chance encounter. Great art from Marron and Bellaire.

| Published by AfterShock

The Magnificent Ms. Marvel #3 advances the alien plot, sending Kamala and her parents off to Saffa to supposedly fulfill the role of their Destined One, saving the planet again. Saladin Ahmed, Minkyu Jung, Juan Vlasco, Ian Herring, and Joe Caramagna are doing some interesting world-building here, and ensuring that nothing is quite what it seems.

| Published by Marvel

Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt #5 is the beautiful conclusion to what has been a brilliant series from Kieron Gillen, Caspar Wijngaard, Mary Safro, and Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou. It’s been a sequel, satire, criticism, and repudiation of Watchmen, but it’s also been an interesting mediation on “being better” while coming to terms with the nature of reality and learning to deal with the human element.

| Published by Dynamite

Queen of Bad Dreams #2 gets more into the grit of IJ Wei’s investigation into the escaped figment, delivering some great police procedural stuff. The artwork from Jordi Pérez and Dearbhla Kelly is wonderful. Reminding me a lot of some of the work from John Watkiss, particularly during a very impressive action sequence.

| Published by Vault

She Said Destroy #1 is an intriguing science fantasy debut from Joe Corallo, Liana Kangas, Rebecca Nalty, and Melanie Ujimori. It taps into Celtic mythology, presenting a war between Brigid and the Morrigan, but also appears to be telling a coming of age story with some members of the Morrigan’s flock as they try to combat Brigid’s oppression.

| Published by Vault

Star Wars #108 is essentially another one-shot in the 80th anniversary of Marvel celebration, with Matthew Rosenberg and a murderers’ row of new and old Star Wars artists delivering a tale set in the old Marvel continuity. While you’ll get more out of it if you’re familiar with the original series, with familiar faces like Valance Hunter, Domina Tagge, and Jaxxon, but it still works well on its own without having any foreknowledge of previous events.

| Published by Marvel

Stranger Things: Six #1 begins another prequel mini-series, this time introducing us to “Six” and looking into the experiments going on at the Hawkins Labs, from Jody Houser, Edgar Salazar, Keith Champagne, Marissa Louise, and Nate Piekos. I quite liked the first one that served as a view into the terror that Will went through during season one, but this one looks like it’ll be breaking some new ground. Very interested to see more of what happened earlier.

| Published by Dark Horse

Superman: Leviathan Rising Special #1 is a tease for Event Leviathan, the next turn in the Superman series, the forthcoming Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen minis, and the upcoming Supergirl arc once she returns to Earth, but it also manages to tell a fairly entertaining story in its own right as Talia al Ghul kidnaps Clark Kent.

| Published by DC Comics

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #94 continues “City at War” as everything gets nastier and dirtier, and we still haven’t had a full-on incendiary spark yet to ignite even larger warfare. Dave Wachter and Ronda Pattison deliver some incredible artwork. Splinter is very chilling in this one.

| Published by IDW

Thor #13 will make you care about Cul Borson. At least, a little bit. Maybe. Jason Aaron, Mike del Mundo, Marco D’Alfonso, and Joe Sabino deliver on another single issue story broadening the bits and pieces of the War of the Realms.

| Published by Marvel

Transformers #6 takes a break from the ongoing narrative and gives us a look into the past friendship between Megatron and Orion Pax, from Brian Ruckley, Beth McGuire-Smith, and Tom B. Long. There are some interesting parallels between Megatron’s observations and the drifting apart of these two old friends.

| Published by IDW

Wolverine: The Long Night #5 concludes this adaptation of the podcast of the same name from Benjamin Percy, Marcio Takara, Matt Milla, and Joe Caramagna. This has been a mature, psychological thriller amidst all of the violence and darkness, with this final chapter delivering more twists even as it brings the answers.

| Published by Marvel

Other Highlights: Age of X-Man: X-Tremists #4, Bad Luck Chuck #3, Black Panther #12, Blossoms 666 #4, Catwoman Annual #1, Dark Red #3, Dead Kings #5, Delver #4, Dick Tracy Forever #2, Doctor Who: The Thirteenth Doctor #8, Dog Days of Summer #1, Fantastic Four #10, Fight Club 3 #5, Four Sisters 2: Hortense, Grand Abyss Hotel, KINO #16, Life on the Moon, Lumberjanes: Somewhere Green #1, Major X #4, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #39, Princeless - Book 8: Princesses #3, Punk Mambo #2, Punks Not Dead: London Calling #4, Rick & Morty #50, Spawn #297, Star Trek: Year Five #2, Star Wars: Vader - Dark Visions #4, Superior Spider-Man #6, TMNT: Urban Legends #13, Thanos #2, Wailing Blade #1, War of the Realms: Giant-Man #2, War of the Realms: Spider-Man & The League of Realms #2, War of the Realms: War Scrolls #2, Wasted Space #10, X-23 #12, X-Men: Grand Design - X-Tinction #1

Recommended Collections: Death Orb - Volume 1, Dept. H Omnibus - Volume 1, The Goon: Bunch of Old Crap, Judge Dredd: Toxic, Punisher - Volume 2: War in Bagalia, Rick & Morty Presents - Volume 1, X-Force - Volume 1: Sins of the Past

For the week of 20 May 2019

Quick Bits:

Action Comics #1011 is the last stop before Event Leviathan starts in earnest and it raises more questions as to what’s going on. Brian Michael Bendis, Steve Epting, Brad Anderson, and Josh Reed have done a great job elevating tension through this lead-up and moving the pieces around the board.

| Published by DC Comics

Assassin Nation #3 is another brutal issue from Kyle Starks, Erica Henderson, and Deron Bennett. The body count remains high and we get more questions about who authorized the hit. There’s some hints that it may all just be misdirection.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Detective Comics #1004 gives us the life history of Astrid Arkham. It’s told largely in full page montages, really allowing Brad Walker, Andrew Hennessy, and Nathan Fairbairn to cut loose on the visuals.

| Published by DC Comics

Faithless #2 sees Faith go to a party, and then it gets weird. This feels like that Griffin Dunne film of him wandering around New York, only with more magic and gorgeous art from Maria Llovet.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Ghost Tree #2 delivers well on the promise of the first issue, going further with Brandt’s conversations with the spirits around the ghost tree, and setting up the possibility of something horrible coming soon. More gorgeous artwork from Simon Gane, Ian Herring, and Becka Kinzie.

| Published by IDW

Incursion #4 is a fitting conclusion to this series bringing Gilad back to a regular status in the world of the living, with some interesting teases as to what might be further down the line, from Andy Diggle, Alex Paknadel, Doug Braithwaite, Diego Rodriguez, Leonardo Paciarotti, and Marshall Dillon.

| Published by Valiant

Justice League Dark #11 continues “Lords of Order” and keeps burning down the magical side of the DC Universe, while diving very deep into the back catalogue to build up the new. James Tynion IV is developing a very interesting structure for what might be coming.

| Published by DC Comics

Middlewest #7 shows the sheer devastation that Abel can unleash as his powers manifest, similar to the rage that his father has shown, and how his newfound “family” can also let him down horribly. Great work from Skottie Young, Jorge Corona, Jean-Francois Beaulieu, and Nate Piekos as the story seems to be headed for more dangerous waters.

| Published by Image

Star Wars: Age of Rebellion - Jabba the Hutt #1 is an entertaining little story of how Jabba manipulates others to accomplish his goals.

| Published by Marvel

Stone Star #3 gives us another surprise as Dail tries to save Kitzo from being eaten in the arena by Most-Maw. It’s very interesting how this series plays with elements of hero shooters and the designs for the characters and creatures by Max Dunbar are incredible.

| Published by Swords & Sassery

Other Highlights: A Shining Beacon, Age of X-Man: Amazing Nightcrawler #4, Animosity #21, Asgardians of the Galaxy #9, Avengers #19, Batgirl #35, Battlestar Galactica: Twilight Command #4, Bone Parish #9, Books of Magic #8, Clue: Candlestick #1, Cyber Force #10, Dial H for Hero #3, Doctor Strange #14, The Flash #71, Freedom Fighters #6, Gasolina #18, GI Joe: A Real American Hero #262, The Goon #2, Highwayman, Invader Zim #43, Invisible Kingdom #3, Martian Manhunter #5, Marvel Comics Presents #5, Mary Shelley: Monster Hunter #2, Miles Morales: Spider-Man #6, Monstress #22, Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur #43, Mr. & Mrs. X #11, Redneck #20, Riverdale Season 3 #3, Road of Bones #1, Rumble #12, Runaways #21, Shuri #8, The Silencer #17, Star Trek: Q Conflict #4, Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge #2, Tony Stark: Iron Man #11, The Unstoppable Wasp #8, Venom #14, War of the Realms: Journey into Mystery #3, War of the Realms: New Agents of Atlas #2, War of the Realms: The Punisher #2, War of the Realms: Strikeforce - The Land of Giants #1, War of the Realms: Uncanny X-Men #2, The Warning #7, Welcome to Wanderland #4. Wolverine: Infinity Watch #4, Wonder Woman #71, X-Force #8

Recommended Collections: Black Badge - Volume 1, Black Magick, Cover - Volume 1, Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Volume 1, East of West - Volume 9, Fantastic Four - Volume 2: Mr. & Mrs. Grimm, Friendo - Volume 1, James Bond: Blackbox, Middlewest - Book 1, Planet Terry Complete Collection, Redlands - Volume 2, Summit - Volume 3: Truth & Consequences, Wayward - Book 3

d. emerson eddy thinks there should be more hours in the day.

#This Week in Comics

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daresplaining · 5 years

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Daredevil in “Black Widow: Breakdown”

“Breakdown” is a three-issue story arc, the second part of Devin Grayson’s Black Widow run, co-written by Greg Rucka with gorgeous painted artwork by Scott Hampton. It is an exploration of morality, superheroism, and the idea of means justifying ends, tied up in a neat little spy thriller. I assume any Black Widow fans reading this are already familiar with “Breakdown”, and I’m not here to break down (…sorry) the full story; that has already been done by people much more familiar with the Black Widow canon than I am. What I’d like to do is talk about its most unexpected side-character: Daredevil.

In the first arc of her run, Grayson introduced Yelena Belova, a new and (to her own mind) improved Black Widow. Yelena is a recent graduate of the Red Room who feels so confident in her abilities that she tries to kill Natasha and claim her title. Yelena is young, driven, and naively idealistic, resulting in a black-and-white mindset that is dangerous for espionage work. Natasha observes this in their early interactions, and decides that she needs to help Yelena by teaching her the harsh truth of what it really means to be a spy. “Breakdown” follows her attempt to do this— by kidnapping Yelena, surgically swapping their appearances, dropping Yelena into her (Natasha’s) life, and seeing how she copes. It’s a highly personal, intimate story between the two of them as they literally embody each other, and as the lines between their identities begin to blur.

So why did Grayson and Rucka feel the need to bring Daredevil into this? Heck, why does Natasha? This is a top-secret SHIELD operation, and Matt is hardly a spy. It’s also clear from the beginning that this attack on Yelena is rife with moral issues. It is, frankly, shocking, and a big theme in this story is analyzing whether Natasha’s behavior is justified– and whether morality can afford to matter in the high-stakes, ethically murky world of international espionage. Yelena may be a dangerous enemy, but she is also a human being who is kidnapped, disfigured, and psychologically tortured over the course of the story. Natasha is confident in her actions, but she is also aware of how they would look to an outside observer, and from the beginning, she expresses discomfort in revealing the details of her plan to Matt.

[ID: Natasha Romanov is talking with Nick Fury in his office at SHIELD HQ. Fury is holding a file marked “Top Secret”. Natasha is wearing a hospital gown.]

Natasha: “This is the full briefing, all of my instructions. It would be best if Daredevil did not read it. It would... upset him.”

Fury: “That’s an understatement. You’re set?”

This sets up a distinction between Natasha and Daredevil that will carry through the rest of the story, and which ties into one of the main reasons for his presence in the narrative. Natasha is perfectly willing to do this deed, but she knows Matt would find it upsetting. There is a duality present here– an inherent difference in the behavior Natasha and Daredevil consider to be acceptable. Right away, we are introduced to two different types of morality: the spy versus the superhero.

[ID: Daredevil and Nick Fury are standing in an observation room, which overlooks a team of doctors operating on Natasha and Yelena Belova.]

Matt: “You could still stop this, Fury.”

Fury: “Yeah, I suppose I could.”

Matt: “I don’t understand why she’s doing this.”

Fury: “You don’t need to. She’s a professional, Daredevil. Remember that.”

But despite her awareness of this dissonance, Natasha still brings Matt into the operation– for reasons which are not immediately clear, given her initial hesitation. As she predicted, he is disturbed and baffled by it all… though not enough to refuse to take part in her manipulation of her victim. When Yelena wakes up in Natasha’s apartment, wearing Natasha’s face, with no memory of recent events, the first person she encounters is Daredevil.

[ID: Yelena Belova is standing in a sunlit apartment. She now looks exactly like Natasha Romanov. She is naked and draped in a bedsheet. Daredevil comes through the window behind her, holding flowers. Yelena, caught off-guard, tries to fight him, but he grabs her and kisses her.]

Matt: “Good! You’re up! Whoa! Sure you want to go another round? I’ll take that as a yes.”

Yelena: “Poshol k chortu!” (“Go to hell!”)

Matt: “Now, you know what it does to me when you speak Russian.”

I live in fear of this scene being taken out-of-context, because while the circumstances doesn’t justify Matt’s behavior, they at least explain it. Here he is operating on Natasha’s orders, flinging Yelena headlong into a stranger’s life by forcing her to deal with an amorous boyfriend. I’ve mentioned the distinctions in Natasha and Matt’s morality as highlighted in this story, but it’s important to remember that they were also partners-- both professionally and romantically-- for years. Their bond is the type formed by two people who used to save each other’s lives on a daily basis. While Matt doesn’t always agree with Natasha’s methods, he still trusts her, and her insistence that using this tactic to rattle Yelena is necessary for the success of the mission has seemingly overridden his discomfort, allowing him to feel justified in committing this violation. It’s also important to know that Matt was also a key player in the story before this one-- Yelena’s introductory arc-- and in that story she was a full-on antagonist who nearly killed both Natasha and Matt. Thus, at this point he still sees her as a threat that needs to be subdued, rather than a misguided young woman deserving of sympathy. Stay tuned-- this will change.

It’s significant that Matt is in costume in this scene, which is odd for someone visiting their girlfriend after (as he implies) spending the night with her. In fact, he is in costume throughout the whole story, and is only ever referred to as Daredevil. This can be compared to the previous arc, in which he appears both in and out of costume. The significance is clear: Daredevil the superhero has a role in this narrative, Matt Murdock the civilian does not.

(Sidenote: I like how Hampton draws the horns. They look more like ears-- like Batman’s cowl-- but they’re very endearing.)

[ID: Natasha (who now looks like Yelena, with shoulder-length blonde hair) and Fury stare at a computer screen, watching via hidden cameras as Yelena recovers her composure and becomes friendlier toward Daredevil.]

Natasha: “She’s trying to make it work. It must be a mission, she thinks-- bring up twenty, please-- deep cover, perhaps. A covert infil, maybe an executive action. She doesn’t know. And she's feeling it now... she’s terrified.”

This is the most important Daredevil moment in the whole story. It defines his role in the narrative and alters his mindset, and Natasha’s commentary emphasizes why: Yelena is terrified.

Matt’s perspective is never emphasized or explained. This is definitively a Black Widow story, with Daredevil just along for the ride, so this is a detail that readers unfamiliar with DD might not notice. But to me, as a Daredevil fan, it grabbed me immediately. Yelena is terrified, and Matt Murdock experiences the terror of others in ways most people couldn’t even imagine. He would be viscerally aware of every change in her physiology, her voice, her behavior that indicated fear. That reaction would be overwhelming to him, impossible to ignore-- as would the awareness that he was a direct cause of that terror. Witnessing this reaction from Yelena would shift his perception of her from enemy to victim, and for someone who cares about people the way Matt does (and all superheroes do), that would have a profound effect on his willingness to continue taking part in her torture.

This shift becomes clear in the very next scene in which he appears-- after Natasha has confronted Yelena, and Yelena has shot her and gone on the run.

[ID: Natasha (who still looks like Yelena), Daredevil, and Fury are riding in an ambulance. Natasha is removing a bullet-proof vest, unharmed after having been shot by Yelena.]

Matt: “Bravo. You’ve turned her into a murderer. Well done. [...] Why are you doing this to her?”

Natasha: “She thinks she’s Natasha Romanov. She thinks she killed Yelena Belova. But she is Yelena Belova. She’s coming undone.”

Matt: “But why, dammit?”

Natasha: “Because I want it that way. If you’re worried for her, go and keep watch. But don’t interfere.”

Matt: “I won’t let her die.”

Natasha: “I know.”

(I love Matt’s distress about Yelena being “turned into a murderer” when he knows for a fact that she kills people on a regular basis...)

Matt is now resisting Natasha’s carefully-laid plans and speaking out on Yelena’s behalf. After this scene he separates from Natasha and spends the rest of the issue following Yelena as she flees through Manhattan. Having initially agreed to take part in attacking her, he has now switched over to protecting her. His sympathy for her reflects the reader’s established sympathy, and positions Yelena and Matt as symbolic allies in opposition to Natasha and Fury.

[ID: Daredevil hands money to a homeless man whose raincoat Yelena has stolen.]

Matt: “Buy yourself a new one, friend.”

In a story as short as this, each scene has significance. This tiny moment of everyday selflessness from Daredevil is a little like Superman rescuing a kitten from a tree. It is uncomplicated, archetypal heroism. Again we have that dichotomy of the spy versus the superhero, here shown in opposition to Yelena’s behavior during her fight for survival.

[ID: Fury shouts threats at Yelena as she runs into the night. Daredevil jumps down into view and stands next to Fury. Both are seen only as silhouettes.]

Matt: “This is sadism, Fury.”

Fury: “No. It’s called espionage.”

Nick Fury is the story’s other secondary, non-villainous character. Like Daredevil, his perspective takes a backseat to that of the two Black Widows, and he doesn’t actually do much. His role is to bolster Natasha’s plotline, literally backing her up with his support and SHIELD’s resources, and also validating her behavior and perspective. He provides commentary on the situation for the reader’s benefit, and helps to point out the themes of the story. If Daredevil is the outside observer who is shocked by the proceedings, Fury is the outside observer who understands the messy context of the situation.

[ID: Natasha is walking down a sunny street in a town in upstate New York. Daredevil is on a rooftop above a dumpster in the Bronx, inside which Yelena is asleep. They are talking to each other via unseen communication devices.]

Matt: “Location?”

Natasha: “I’m upstate, Nyack. You?”

Matt: “Hunt’s Point, listening to your-- sorry, Yelena’s-- heartbeat.”

Natasha: “Interesting listening?”

Matt: “It’s racing. She’s having bad dreams. And how’s your heart rate?”

Here, for the first (and only) time, we are given concrete insight into Matt’s sensory experience of the switch itself. Logic would suggest that the surgery SHIELD performed on Natasha and Yelena was superficial, only changing their appearances. This would put Matt in the symbolically significant position of being the only person who is unaffected by it, who still recognizes Natasha and Yelena as themselves. But here, he seems to suggest that Yelena’s heartbeat now sounds like Natasha’s. That is such an extreme (and medically improbable?) alteration that I’m tempted to just call it a sensory snafu and move on-- particularly since the alternative nicely aligns with the story’s themes. However, if it is true, Matt equating Yelena and Natasha on such an intimate level would further explain why he becomes so protective of Yelena over the course of the story.

[ID: Daredevil perches on the edge of a dumpster. Yelena is sleeping inside. She wakes up and attacks him, but he calms her down. Drained, she closes her eyes and rests her head on his shoulder. He puts his hand on her back.]

Natasha (off-panel, to Matt): “...Now it’s your turn.”

Matt (to Yelena): “Good morning.”

Yelena: “Poshol na hui!” (“F*** you!”)

Matt: “It’s all right. Come with me--”

Yelena: “Nyet! [...] I’m not her, not Romanoff--”

Matt: “I know, it’s okay, I know who you are--”

Yelena: “--Not Natasha, never loved you--”

Matt: “--I know!”

Yelena: “--Never kissed... you... You... know? [...] Then who... who am I?”

Matt: “Yelena Belova.”

Yelena: “Yelena... I’m... Yelena Belova... the Black Widow...”

Having shadowed her from a distance, Matt finally makes contact the next morning, when Yelena-- exhausted and traumatized from having been chased all night-- curls up in a dumpster to rest. Despite Natasha’s orders to not interfere, he reaches out to Yelena to comfort her. It’s heartbreaking that her violent reaction seems to not be out of fear that he’s going to bring her to SHIELD, but out of fear that he thinks she’s Natasha and is going to force himself on her again. Once he manages to calm her down, he offers what she needs most, and has needed throughout the story: emotional support and affirmation of her identity. Having been given these kindnesses, Yelena can finally relax and regain her footing. This interference destroys the illusion that Natasha so carefully created and grants Yelena power. Matt even brings her upstate, where she confronts both her crooked handlers and, finally, Natasha herself.

And this brings us back to the question of why Daredevil is in this story. What purpose does he serve? Why would Natasha involve him in this scheme at all? She knows Matt better than almost anyone, after all, so it seems like she would have predicted that he’d react this way and mess up her plans.

The only likely explanation is that she did, in fact, predict this-- that Matt’s seemingly insubordinate behavior was part of her plan all along. Natasha didn’t need Matt to mess with Yelena; she was already doing that perfectly well on her own. It makes far more sense to assume that she ordered him into that initial contact in her apartment to spark the moment of sympathy discussed earlier. Beyond her command in the ambulance to not interfere, Natasha seems largely unconcerned about Matt threatening to go rogue, and her "Now it’s your turn” right before Matt visits Yelena in the dumpster suggests that that second interaction may have even happened due to her direct (off-panel) prompting.

"Breakdown” is not about Natasha trying to destroy Yelena; though her methods are cruel, she is trying to save her. She says as much when Yelena confronts her at the end of the story. Natasha wants to show Yelena the harsh reality of life as a spy so that Yelena has a hope of surviving it, but she doesn’t want her to suffer permanent damage-- either physical or psychological. She also can’t directly protect Yelena herself, both because that would negate the whole operation and because she is busy carrying out the other part of the mission-- acting as Yelena to sabotage a weapons grab orchestrated by foreign agents (She wouldn’t be the Black Widow if she wasn’t playing multiple angles at once). Thus, she sends someone else to watch over Yelena during her ordeal-- someone who would be unable to resist helping a suffering victim, but who would have to think it was his own idea. A Hero(TM) with a hero’s morality, which-- as we’ve already established-- is, by necessity, different than a spy’s. This distinction is part of Natasha’s lesson for Yelena.

[ID: Two horizontal panels. The first shows the top of Natasha (who still resembles Yelena)’s face. The bottom panel lines this up with the bottom of Yelena (Natasha)’s face. Yelena is holding a handgun, and Natasha is in the background, facing her.]

Natasha: “We are not like Daredevil or the others, Yelena. We are not heroes. We are tools. And tools get used.”

If protecting Yelena is the in-universe reason for Daredevil’s presence, his role as a superhero is the thematic reason. In a story that is exploring the differences in morality between a superhero-- how Yelena initially imagines herself-- and a spy, you need to have a genuine superhero around to provide an example of this distinction. Matt’s behavior in this story is straightforward and protective: he encounters people in need, and he helps them. Of course, we know he does this as Matt Murdock too, but Daredevil-- that technicolor, spandex-ed concept of a superhero and all that that image embodies-- is the identity that matters to this story’s themes. We see Natasha’s relentless pragmatism and Daredevil’s self-sacrificing compassion, and we see Yelena caught in the middle, trying to figure out who she wants to be.

[ID: Daredevil and Nick Fury are standing in an observation room, which overlooks Natasha and Yelena’s appearances being surgically switched back.]

Fury: “Thing of it is, Daredevil, Blondie down there sees things like you do... she thinks she’s a super hero... but Natasha, she’s the Black Widow. She’s the real deal. She knows better. She knows espionage is nasty business.”

If that message wasn’t clear enough, Fury spells it out to the reader (and Matt) in one of the final scenes, after the switch has been undone and Yelena has been prepped to return to her own life. It’s a neat breakdown (...sorry) of Natasha’s character through the lens of both Yelena and Daredevil, and I really love Matt’s presence in this story, even if the reasons for it require some digging.

#Black Widow: Breakdown #Daredevil #Matt Murdock #Black Widow #Natasha Romanov #Yelena Belova #Nick Fury #Commentary

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craftcrit · 5 years

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Gothic Literature- Drawing on feminist readings of Gothic Literature analyse the way in which Gothic Literature has responded to the changing roles of women in society.

#fiction #gothic #essay #rebecca #le fanu #twilight #castle of otranto #Carmilla #vampires

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