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#she was fine keeping things the way they were
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Can't check out - Lewis Hamilton NSFW
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request: "yn and Lewis are secretly dating and yn works in Mercedes, they have an argument and after work yn doesn’t go to his room to sleep, but goes to hers, and Lewis gets even madder and goes to her room, and then you know what happens" - anon
pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!
warnings: unprotected sexual activities, angry sex
Wrap it before you tap it.
wordcount: +4k
a/n: I've had this one half written for a bit but couldn't quite get the switch right, the past two gp's were perfect for it though. Hope you like lovely.
As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!
EXPLICIT CONTENT UNDER, -18 DO NOT INTERACT
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The door to the engineering room slid open with a soft hiss, and Lewis stepped inside, still carrying the frustration from the debrief. His hand firmly grasped on his phone as his eyes searched the dimly lit space.
Rows of desks and computer screens cast a pale glow over the one engineer still hunched over her workstation—Y/n, her eyes glued to the screen in front of her, fingers dancing over the keyboard.
“Y/n,” Lewis called, his voice low, almost casual, as he approached her station.
She didn’t look up, her focus entirely on the screen. Her jaw was set, brows furrowed in concentration.
Anyone could see the stress in the tightness of her shoulders, the way her fingers moved like they had something to prove.
“Y/n,” he said again, this time with more insistence as he stopped by her desk. “You’ve been here all night. Come with me. Let’s grab something to eat.”
“Can’t, Lewis” she muttered, still not sparing him a glance. “I’m in the middle of something”
Lewis sighed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He wasn’t in the mood for this, not after the nightmare of Baku and now Singapore. The car still nowhere near where it needed to be.
He could tell she was taking it personally, that the car’s performance was something she couldn’t separate from her own self-worth, but it was eating her alive.
“You’ve been staring at that screen for hours” he said, his voice softening just a fraction. “Come on, take a break. You’ll think better after some food.”
Finally, Y/n looked up, and her eyes were burning with irritation. “You think this is about ‘taking a break’? Really?” Her voice sharper than he expected.
He frowned, caught off guard. “I’m just saying—”
“I know what you’re saying,” she cut him off, standing up and folding her arms across her chest. “You think it’ll be fine if I take break because you’re just fine coasting through this weekend. But I can’t afford to do that, Lewis.”
“Coasting?” His tone hardened, the frustration he’d been pushing down starting to come up. “You think I’m coasting through this?”
She stepped closer, eyes flashing as she met his gaze. “Aren’t you? I heard what you said in that interview today. You’ve already given up on this weekend. Hell, you’ve probably already given up on this team.”
His jaw clenched. “Y/n”
“I know you’ve got your perfect seat at Ferrari next year,” she snapped, her voice rising, “but I need this job to work for me, Lewis. I can’t just check out.”
Lewis’s face hardened, the weight of her words settling heavily between them. She’d always been the one to back him up, to understand when things were tough.
“You really think that’s what I’m doing?” His voice was quieter now, but there was a simmering anger underneath it. “You think I’m just here, going through the motions, like none of this matters to me?”
Y/n’s expression didn’t waver. “You’re not the one whose career is tied to this car’s performance.”
Lewis stepped back, running a hand over his face, exhaling slowly. “You think I don’t care about the car? About this team?” His voice was tight, but controlled. “You’ve no idea how much pressure I’m under. But sure, keep assuming I’m checked out because I’m not losing my mind over it.”
She didn’t answer, the tension between them suffocating.
“I’ll be at the hotel,” he finally said, voice flat. “I’ll wait for you, if you decide to actually talk instead of throw knives.”
Y/n stood there, staring at the door long after he’d gone, her heart racing, frustration still boiling under her skin.
She hated that he’d gotten to her, but she hated even more that she knew she had messed up.
The soft ping of her phone snapped her out of her trance. Yet another message from Lewis.
Where are you?
It was nearly 2 a.m., and Y/n was now in her own hotel room, but still working.
Her eyes burned from hours of staring at data, her body aching from the tension she carried in her shoulders. She knew she should have stopped hours ago, that the night races in Singapore didn’t excuse her pushing herself this far, but she couldn’t help it.
The car was nowhere, and every setup she ran through still led them in circles.
She ignored the message, her fingers pressing harder into the keyboard, trying to drown out the gnawing frustration.
There were moments where she could forget that outside these numbers, setups, and telemetry, there was more—her life, her relationship with Lewis, her sanity. But tonight, wasn’t one of those moments.
His earlier words still lingered in her mind like a bad taste.
"Coasting through the weekend," she muttered bitterly to herself.
Another ping. She looked at her phone for a second and then shoved it back into her pocket. She wasn’t ready to talk to him. Not that night, at least.
Time passed in a blur, the numbers on her screen blending together until her concentration wavered, exhaustion settling in.
2:45 a.m. A knock at the door.
Her heart sank. She knew exactly who it was.
Y/n slowly walked to the door and opened it, revealing a very irritated and slightly disheveled Lewis.
He was dressed in his sweats, his face drawn with concern and annoyance. His eyes scanned her face, clearly taking in her exhaustion.
“What do you want?” she asked, her voice flat.
Lewis crossed his arms, his jaw tightening. “You didn’t answer my texts.”
“Busy. What do you want?”
He stepped closer; the frustration evident in his posture. “You’re busy? It’s almost three in the morning, Y/n.”
She shrugged, keeping her voice cold. “I don’t have the luxury of clocking out when things don’t go well.”
Lewis’s eyes narrowed. “Not this again, Y/n”
Y/n crossed her arms, mirroring his stance. “I think you don’t get it, Lewis. You’re already halfway out the door. Ferrari’s waiting for you, and you’re just counting the days. I’m the one who’s stuck here trying to figure out how to make this work.”
He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “You really think I don’t care about what’s happening?”
“I think you’re putting your feelings ahead of everything else,” she shot back, the words laced with bitterness. “I’m out there trying to make something of this car, and you—” She gestured at him, frustrated by his calm demeanor. “You’re here playing the ‘it’ll be fine’ card. It’s not fine, Lewis. It’s a disaster.”
Lewis’s gaze darkened, his voice steady but firm. “I never said it was fine.”
“Might as well have,” she retorted. “You think I don’t see it? The way you’re handling things, pretending it doesn’t affect you, when deep down, you’ve already checked out.”
His expression shifted, the cool, nonchalant mask cracking just slightly. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, don’t I?” Y/n scoffed, feeling the anger bubble up inside her. She wanted to hurt him the way she was hurting.
“What happened to the guy who fought for every inch on track, the one who wouldn’t rest until everything was perfect? Now you’re here, telling me to relax, to take it easy. It’s bullshit, Lewis.”
Lewis stared at her, his silence only fueling her frustration. She stepped closer, her voice dropping to a mocking tone.
“Where’s the cutthroat guy who would have had me pinned to the wall by now? Instead, I’ve got this—” she waved her hand at him dismissively, “mushy, emotional guy in front of me, trying to make me ‘feel better’.”
Something shifted in Lewis’s eyes, and for a moment, she regretted saying it. His gaze hardened, his jaw clenched, and the tension in the air changed.
“You have no idea what you’re asking for,” he said, his voice low. He was danger.
But Y/n wasn’t backing down now. She wanted to push him, to make him snap, to break through that controlled, calm mark. “Oh, I absolutely do” she shot back, her chin tilting up defiantly.
Lewis’s eyes flickered with something possessive, and in an instant, he closed the distance between them.
His hand shot out, grabbing her by the waist, pulling her flush against him. Her breath caught in her throat as his fingers dug into her skin, his grip firm and unmistakably dominant.
“You think you want that?” he murmured; his breath hot against her ear. “You think you want the guy who doesn’t give a damn? Be careful what you wish for.”
Y/n’s heart pounded in her chest, her body reacting to the sudden intensity between them, but she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her back down.
“Show me” she whispered, her voice steady, though her pulse raced. “Show me you still give a damn.”
And that was all it took.
The last thread of Lewis’s restraint snapped, and before she could even blink, he had her pinned against the narrow table in the small entryway to her bedroom, his hands gripping her wrists, his body pressing into hers with a force that left no room for doubt.
His breath was hot against her neck. His body pressed her into the hard surface, and Y/n could feel the tension in every inch of him—the controlled anger, the dominance she’d just provoked, and the raw desire that lay beneath it all.
She felt the dominance it in the way his hands moved—fast, precise, as if he’d already decided she wasn’t ever in control.
His grip on her wrists loosened for just a second before his hands slid down her body, one hand slipping under the hem of her shirt, fingers grazing the soft skin of her stomach.
His touch was rough but deliberate, and she gasped at the sensation, already anticipating what was coming next.
Lewis’s other hand hooked around her waist, pulling her hips back into him, his body pinning her even harder against the table. “You want this?” he murmured into her ear, his lips brushing the shell of it “You want me to stop being soft?”
She barely had a second to catch her breath before his hand slipped lower, under the waistband of her pajama bottoms.
His fingers found their way instantly, brushing over her clit in a way that made her hips buck against him involuntarily.
“Lewis—” She started to say something, but he cut her off.
“Don’t even think about it” he growled, his fingers working with slow, maddening precision. “You don’t get to talk. Not now.”
Her breath hitched as he continued to tease her, the pressure of his fingers circling her clit increasing just enough to drive her crazy, but not enough to push her over the edge.
He was keeping her on a leash, and it was driving her insane.
“You think I don’t give a damn?” Lewis’s voice was rough, a contrast to the torturously slow rhythm of his fingers. “Is this what you wanted? You wanted me to remind you?”
Her legs trembled as he worked her over, her body arching into him despite the way he had her pinned to the table.
She was already close, too close, and she knew it. She could feel the tension building inside her, the heat pooling in her stomach, the familiar rush of pleasure that came before she—
But just as she just about reached the edge, he pulled back, his fingers leaving her completely.
Y/n gasped in frustration, her body shaking from the sudden denial. “Lewis!” Her voice cracked, but he wasn’t having it.
“You don’t get to come yet” he said, his voice firm, unrelenting.
She was panting, her body already strung so tight it hurt, but before she could protest, Lewis flipped her around, pressing her back into the wall.
His eyes were dark, his expression hard as he lifted her to place her effortlessly onto the edge of the small desk.
Her legs wrapped around his waist instinctively and his hands found her hips, holding her in place as he leaned in, his lips crashing into hers. The kiss was rough, all teeth, his frustration matching hers as their bodies clashed against each other.
But he was still in control, and Y/n knew it. She could feel it in the way he held her, the way his hands moved as if he knew exactly how close he was driving her, how close he was to breaking her down.
He pulled back from the kiss, his breath heavy against her lips. “You don’t get to have it easy” he murmured. “Not after all the shit you said.”
His lips were on her neck then, trailing rough kisses down to her collarbone, his hands sliding under her shirt to cup her breasts. His thumbs brushed over her nipples, the sensation sending another jolt of heat and Y/n’s head fell back against the wall, her lips parting in a shaky moan.
And Lewis wasn’t even close to being done with the torture.
His mouth moved lower, kissing his way down her stomach until he was on his knees in front of her, his hands gripping her thighs, spreading her wide for him. He pulled her pajama bottoms down, discarding them somewhere behind him before his lips found the inside of her thigh, biting down gently on the sensitive skin.
Y/n’s body jerked in response, the anticipation nearly killing her as his lips moved higher, closer to where she needed him
“Please, Lew” she whispered, her voice barely above a breath.
He didn’t answer her. Instead, he parted her with his fingers, his mouth finally descending on her clit.
The sensation was electric, his tongue circling her slowly. Y/n’s hips kept on buckling involuntarily, her fingers tangling in his shirt as she moaned, unable to hold back the sound.
Lewis took his time, licking and sucking in a way that drove her to the edge all over again.
She felt it building, her body shaking as she neared the point of no return, her breath coming in ragged gasps.
And just when she thought she was about to fall over the edge, he stopped, again.
“Fuck!” she cried out, her hands tugging at the wood in frustration, but he didn’t relent.
“Not yet” was all he said, his voice hoarse as he looked up at her, his lips glistening.
She was a trembling mess, her body desperate for release, but Lewis wasn’t giving it to her. He stood up, towering over her as she panted, her chest heaving from the intensity of it all.
“Bed” he ordered, his voice leaving no room for argument.
Y/n stumbled off the desk, her legs shaky as she moved without questioning toward the bed, Lewis right behind her.
He grabbed her waist, pushing her down onto the mattress, his body covering hers as he kissed her again, rough and demanding.
His fingers slid between her legs once more, finding her dripping, and he smirked against her lips. “You think you can take one more?” he asked, his voice mocking as he teased her, his fingers sliding inside her just enough to make her hips jerk.
“I can’t” she gasped, her body completely overwhelmed.
“Too bad” he growled, his lips brushing against her ear. “You don’t get to say when this is over.”
His fingers worked her over once more, slow and purposeful, pushing her to the brink for the third time.
Her body was shaking, every nerve on fire as she begged him, her words slurring in a desperate plea.
“Lewis. Please, I need—”
Finally, when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, he let her go.
Y/n’s orgasm hit her in waves, her body convulsing as she cried out, her nails digging into his back as she came hard, trembling uncontrollably beneath him.
He didn’t stop though, his fingers still working her as she rode out the intense release, her vision going white from the force of it.
And when it was over, when her body had finally stopped shaking, she was a wreck, panting and boneless beneath him.
Lewis leaned over her, his lips brushing against her ear. “You still want more?” he asked, his voice dark and teasing.
Y/n was barely coherent, her mind fogged with pleasure, but she managed a weak smirk and chuckle.
Lewis growled low in his throat, flipping her onto her stomach. “Of course, you do.”
Lewis didn’t waste a second, his hands gripping her hips and pulling her up onto her knees.
Y/n’s face was pressed into the mattress, her breath still ragged, but she managed to turn her head slightly, catching a glimpse of him behind her, his chest heaving.
“Arch your back, love” he commanded, a low rumble.
Her body, still trembling, responded instinctively. She pushed her hips up, her back arching as she spread her knees wider.
She could feel the cool air on her slick skin, and her body ached with the need to be filled, to have him finally inside her.
But Lewis wasn’t in any rush.
His hands caressed her ass, rough palms running over the soft skin as he admired the way she trembled beneath him. She felt the unmistakable teasing of him collecting her juice with the tip of his dick.
Then, without warning, he brought his hand down sharply against her ass, the loud smack echoing in the room.
The sting was immediate. Y/n gasped, her body jolting forward as her muscles clenched in response.
Lewis chuckled darkly, leaning over her, his chest pressing into her back. “You like that, don’t you?” he murmured against her ear, his breath hot on her skin.
Y/n moaned, her fingers curling into the sheets as she tried to steady herself. “Fuck you” she breathed out, though the defiance was weak, barely a whisper.
Lewis laughed again, his hands gripping her hips tightly as he positioned himself behind her. “Oh, you will.”
And then, without another word, he thrust into her, filling her completely at once.
Y/n let out a loud cry, her body arching even more at the sudden invasion.
He was deep, too deep, and for a moment, all she could do was gasp for air, her hands gripping the sheets as he stayed still.
“Fuck,” Lewis groaned, his voice strained as he gripped her hips harder, his fingers digging into her skin. “You’re so fucking tight.”
Y/n couldn’t form words, couldn’t even think straight as her body struggled to accommodate the overwhelming fullness.
But then he started to move, pulling out just enough before slamming back into her, setting a brutal pace that left her not only wordless but breathless.
With each thrust the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room. Y/n’s moans mixed with his grunts, her body rocking forward with the movements of his hips.
Lewis was relentless, pounding into her with a force that left her dizzy. His hands moved up her back, fingers tangling in her shirt as he pulled her head back, forcing her to arch even more.
Her face was buried in the pillow, muffling her moans, but Lewis wasn’t having that.
“Let me hear you,” he growled, his hand tightening as he yanked her head back, exposing her neck. “I want to hear every fucking sound you make.”
Y/n cried out, her voice raw as he hit a spot deep inside her that made her entire body shake.
Her walls clenched around him involuntarily, the intensity of it all too much, but she couldn’t stop it. Every thrust got her closer to the edge, and she could feel it building again.
When she was almost seeing starts and her walls kept on clenching around him, he pulled out of her, leaving her trembling and empty.
Y/n let out a whimper of protest, her body aching for him to fill her again.
“Turn over,” he ordered, his voice firm, commanding.
Y/n, barely able to move, managed to roll onto her side, her body weak and shaking from the force of it all. She looked up at him through half-lidded eyes, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.
Lewis didn’t waste time. He grabbed her leg, pulling it up over his arms as he positioned himself between her half-closed thighs.
His eyes locked onto hers, the intensity in his gaze making her stomach flip.
“You still think I don’t give a damn?” he asked, his voice rough, almost taunting as he pushed into her again, filling her completely.
Y/n’s head fell back against the pillow, a loud moan escaping her lips as he thrust into her at a new angle, hitting that spot deep inside her that made her breath hitch.
His hands held on to her ankle, and the way he was angled was driving her crazy, his hips slamming into her ass with an unrelenting force.
“Lewis—fuck—” she gasped, her hands clawing at his arms as he leaned over her, pressing his body into her side as he fucked her hard, each thrust pushing her closer to the brink.
Her moans were uncontrollable now, her body completely at his mercy as he pounded into her. She could feel the tension building again, the heat coiling in her stomach, but this time, she knew he wasn’t going to stop.
He wasn’t going to deny her. Not again.
Lewis’s eyes were locked on her face, watching every twitch, every moan, every breathless gasp as he took her apart. “You’re so fucking beautiful like this,” he murmured, his voice strained with exertion.
She couldn’t respond, her mind too fogged with pleasure, her body too overwhelmed. But her hands reached up, grabbing onto his neck, pulling him down to kiss her.
It was messy, but it didn’t matter. They were both too far gone to care.
Lewis groaned into her mouth, his thrusts becoming more erratic, harder, as if he was losing control. Y/n’s nails dug into his skin, her body trembling as she felt herself teetering on the edge.
“I’m so close,” she gasped against his lips, her voice barely coherent.
“I know, love” Lewis growled, his breath hot against her mouth. “Come for me. I want to feel you.”
With one final thrust, she spiraled, her body convulsing under him as her orgasm ripped through her, more intense than the ones before.
Y/n’s body arched off the bed towards his chest, her hands gripping his shoulders as she cried out, her walls clenching around him.
Lewis couldn’t keep himself for far too long. The way she tightened around him pushed him over the brink, and with a deep, guttural moan, he only had time to pull out, spilling himself over her ass, his body shaking with the force of his release.
For a moment, neither of them moved, their bodies spent and trembling, their breaths coming in ragged gasps.
Lewis then collapsed beside her, his chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. Y/n lay there, completely wrecked, her body still trembling from the aftershocks of her orgasm. Her only movement was her hand stroking his arm, her mind too fogged with him to think straight.
But then Lewis’s hand was on her cheek, gently caressing her skin, and she turned her head to look at him.
His expression had softened, the intensity of before replaced with something tender, affectionate.
“Relax,” he whispered, his thumb brushing over her lips. “I’ll take care of you.”
Y/n’s heart swelled at the softness in his voice, and she nodded, too tired to speak.
She watched as Lewis got up, disappearing into the bathroom before returning with a towel. He cleaned her up carefully, his touch gentle, his gaze focused solely on her.
When he was done, he tossed the towel aside and climbed back into bed, pulling her into his arms.
Lewis gently stroked her cheek as she lay against him, her breathing still uneven, though now from exhaustion rather than anything else.
His thumb brushed over her lips, and he leaned down to kiss her forehead softly, letting out a deep, contented sigh.
"You okay?" he asked quietly, his voice tender.
Y/n nodded, her body limp as she sank into the comfort of his chest. "Just tired."
A small smile tugged at his lips. "You sure you don’t want to sleep?" His hand ran soothingly over her arm, drawing lazy patterns on her skin as he held her closer.
She shook her head lightly. "Not yet. My mind’s still buzzing." Her voice was soft, a little hoarse, but she didn’t regret a second of it.
Lewis chuckled, the sound low and comforting. "Well, let’s calm that buzzing down." He reached for the phone by the bedside, quickly ordering pasta for the both of them. "Have you eaten at all?"
Y/n smiled faintly; her eyes half-closed. "So now you care?"
Lewis arched an eyebrow, lifting her chin so her gaze met his. "Always did, babe." His thumb traced the curve of her jaw, his gaze soft but serious. "I know it’s been tough, and I know I’ve been a prick sometimes… but I do care. About you. About your career. All Mercedes."
Her lips curved into a small smile, her exhaustion making her emotions raw. "I know. I’m sorry for what I said"
"I meant what I said earlier—you’ve gotta find to take care of yourself. It’s not all on your shoulders." he pushed, brushing his thumb across her face.
She closed her eyes, her body relaxing into his touch. "Yeah, maybe you’re right."
He laughed softly. "I’m always right." He kissed the top of her head. "And if it takes rough sex to get you out of your own head… well, I’m happy to help."
Y/n snorted; her face buried in his chest. "Really, Lewis? Really?"
“I care about you, okay?” he said quietly, almost hesitant, as if the vulnerability was something new.
Y/n nodded against his chest, her eyes already closing as the exhaustion overtook her. She was too tired to speak, but she knew. Deep down, she had always known.
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Walking the Road for Her
Wanda Maximoff x Gray Witch!Reader
Word count: 1.2K
Summary: You can't live without Wanda and you've tried everything else so when Agatha comes knocking on your door you accept immediately, but the teen that's with her...he seems so familiar
Warnings: SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 3 OF AGATHA ALL ALONG! Grief/Loss, hallucinations, death/mortality, emotional distress, supernatural elements, implied self-sacrifice, character death, reunion with a deceased loved one
Authors notes: Thank you @scarlethexelove for indulging in my random Wanda thoughts.
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When Agatha asked for you to walk the witches road, you didn't hesitate. She was put off by your eagerness, but never told her why you were walking. You kept that part to yourself she didn't seem to mind. Everyone had a reason, and everyone had their secrets, so no one asked, and you weren't about to tell them you wanted, no needed Wanda back.
You would give up anything and everything to have Wanda back. If it meant to team up with Agatha, you would do it.
So you did. You met up with her and put on the cheery smile she hated. You always assumed she hated you for being a younger witch still full of life, but since Wanda died, you felt like you died too. You got along well enough with the others. You knew Jen the best being closer in age, though you didn't care for her products.
The teen seemed eerily familiar, but you can't put your finger on it. Why does he remind you of Wanda of a life you can't seem to remember.
You're overly protective of him. You don't let him have the wine, and when you hallucinate from said wine, you blink, and suddenly, you're looking at Wanda. Back in her early twenties with the eyeliner, ripped stockings, painted nails, and rings on every finger. You cry over it, cupping her face until it turns back to his.
“Are you okay.” He looks at you with concern. You pull away quickly and wipe your eyes.
“S-Sorry.” You quickly run the ingredients back, trying to escape the feelings. You need to stay strong. You need to get Wanda back.
You end up getting through the trail. Not without its costs. Losing Sharon wasn't something you had in mind, but the witches road is treacherous and has no place for mortals. You never should have let Agatha do that, but hindsight and all that. You knew you had to press on and on the road Teen asks,
“Are you sure you're okay? You and Sharon called out for the same person.” You swallow hard.
“Yeah I'm fine. We all had hallucinations about things. I'll be okay.” You tell him and then mumble under your breath, “Not like I don't deal with it every morning...” his head swivels.
“What was that?” He asks.
“Nothing, just mumbling to myself.”
The further you journey, the harder it gets. Sometimes, you want to give up, to give in, and join Wanda another way. But something stops you every time. You almost think you can feel her, feel her all around you. In the trees, the air, the leaves beneath your feet. With a quick turn of your head, you think you so the soft auburn color you miss so much. The road is playing tricks yet keeping you grounded to your goals.
You make it to the end. Finally passed the last trial everyone who had made it. Their prize awaited them. You waited, didn't see her, and then you heard a whisper in Sokovian.
Your name.
You looked around everywhere. “Over here milaya.” You hear her call. You whip around and see her. She doesn't look like the Scarlet Witch anymore. Back before that. Like when you were on the run. You run into her arms without a second thought.
You can't help as you cry. Burying your face in her neck as your body shakes with sobs. Her vanilla scent invades your senses. “Shhhh sweet girl, I've got you.” Wanda holds you close. Your heart feels whole again now that you're back in her arms.
Your sobs turn into sniffles. “I've missed you so much.” You mumble against her. Her nails lightly scratching at your back. Something she's always done to sooth you. Kissing the side of your head and letting her lips linger.
“I know Detka. I'm so sorry. I'm here now. I'll never leave you again.”
You held onto Wanda tight, afraid to let go as if she'd disappear again if you stopped.
Wanda opened her eyes, looking past your shoulder her eyes widened in surprise and then softened as she saw him.
“Bi-Billy?” Wanda's voice shakes slightly. You pull back but not fully letting her go. You follow her gaze that lands on the teen. Your brows furrow before you look back to Wanda.
“Wanda?” You question her.
She lets go of you when Teen responds to the name. He tries to say something, but the sigil protects him. A wave of Wanda's hand changes that. “Billy?” She asks again.
“Yes, that's me.” You're really confused as you see Wanda's red tendrils come out sending red waves through his eyes before disappearing. “M-mom? H-how did you...?”
Billy runs towards Wanda, slamming into her, but she doesn't budge. She holds him tightly in her arms. “What kind of mother would I be if I didn't know my own son?” Wanda whispers. It's just loud enough for you to hear. Confusion morphs into realization as you look on.
The reason he looked so familiar, the reason he reminded you of her. Of course, it was one of the twins. Sure you hadn't been a part of the hex, but you had seen the recordings of it. Last you had seen the twins, they were 10 inside the hex.
Your heartbeat quickens when you remember what you had seen next as the hex fell the you Wanda had created was destroyed along with the twins. She had held you tightly until you were no more.
It's a shock to see him in the flesh. To understand who he really is. He pulls away from Wanda and turns to you. “Mama?” He's cautious having been giving the memory from Wanda and realizing that you had never got to meet him. Do you even know who he is? Will you accept him as your own?
Your breath catches. It's like waves of memories flood through you as if they had always been there. Everything from the hex coming to life as tears fill your vision and spill over. “Oh my sweet little boy...look at you!” Your arms wrap around him tightly. It had been there, blurry when you thought about it. Of this being your son. “Mama is sorry you had to go through all of this.”
“Mama don't apologize. I'm happy to have you back.” He pulls away slightly keeping an arm around you and opening his other for Wanda. She joins into the hug.
“I'm happy to have both of you back.” You can feel the tears pricking your eyes.
You hug them both tightly. This still left you without one son, but you knew you'd find him. If Billy made it out somehow, then Tommy must be out there, too.
Wanda cups both of your cheeks and looks between you. “Moya lyubov i moy syn (my love and my son).” Tears in her eyes she can't believe she is back and that she had both of you. Her heart is almost complete, but there is still a missing piece to the puzzle.
You didn't need her powers to know what she was thinking, “We'll find him, milaya.” She smiles at you, giving a soft peck on your lips.
“We will. Now that I have you two I know we will.”
This was more than you could have asked for at the end of the road.
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fleming-o · 1 day
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Under the weather - Mapi Leon X Ingrid Engen X ADHDteen
sick fic beacsue im sick and bored
4k words
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The moment you opened your eyes, you knew something wasn’t right. Your head felt heavy, like it was being pressed into the pillow, and your throat burned with each shallow breath. Your body was achy, muscles sore and tight, even though you hadn’t pushed yourself too hard at training the day before. The cold sweat clinging to your skin was enough of a sign—you were sick. But you couldn’t miss training, not today. You couldn’t afford to fall behind again.
Lying in bed, you stared at the ceiling, hoping that maybe after a few minutes, you’d feel better. But the pounding in your head didn’t ease. The sharp sting in your throat only worsened. You closed your eyes, breathing in slowly, telling yourself it was just a little cold and nothing more.
You dragged yourself out of bed, feeling every inch of the effort it took. Your legs felt heavy, and your arms weak, but you ignored it. Training was important, and you couldn’t let Mapi or Ingrid worry about you. They had enough to deal with, and you’d already struggled to keep up at practice for the past week.
Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, you barely recognized your own reflection. Your face looked pale, and your eyes were dull, rimmed with dark circles. You splashed cold water on your face, hoping it would wake you up, but instead, it only made the pounding in your head worse. You leaned over the sink, gripping the edges as dizziness hit you hard.
“I’ll be fine. Just get through the day,” you muttered to yourself, trying to believe it.
You forced yourself to get dressed, tugging on your training kit and pulling your hair back. The routine felt heavier than usual, like each movement was in slow motion. The cold air outside hit you the moment you stepped out the door, making you shiver violently. Every noise—birds chirping, cars passing, people talking—seemed to hit your ears all at once, amplifying the pounding in your head. It was overwhelming.
As you made your way to the training ground, each step felt like dragging lead weights, but you tried to focus. Maybe once you started moving, it would get easier. Maybe the adrenaline from the drills would push the sickness away. But deep down, you knew better.
The walk seemed longer than usual, and by the time you reached the field, you were already out of breath. You spotted Mapi and Ingrid chatting near the bench, and the sight of them gave you a small wave of comfort. But even that quickly faded as you forced a smile and waved weakly. Ingrid raised an eyebrow, glancing at you with concern, but you shrugged it off, pretending you were fine.
Warm-ups began, and right away, you knew something was off. Your legs felt like they were stuck in cement, each stretch making your muscles ache even more. The usual burst of energy never came. Every move felt like a battle, and the noise around you—the sound of cleats on the turf, the chatter of your teammates, the whistle blowing—seemed too loud, too much. It all blurred together, making your head spin.
You pushed through the first few drills, biting your lip to keep from wincing. But your body was betraying you. Every time you sprinted, your vision blurred for a second. Every whistle blew felt like a shockwave through your skull. Your hands shook slightly as you tried to catch your breath, feeling the panic rising in your chest.
Ingrid was the first to notice. She had a way of sensing when things weren’t right with you, even if you tried to hide it. She jogged over, her eyes narrowing as she looked you over.
“You okay?” she asked, her voice low, but full of concern.
You nodded, swallowing hard against the dryness in your throat. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you mumbled, your voice scratchy. “Just... tired.”
But you could see the doubt in her eyes. Ingrid wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t press. Instead, she stayed close, watching as you struggled through the next set of drills.
It wasn’t long before Mapi caught on too. She noticed how you were lagging behind, your usually sharp footwork slow and unsteady. You could feel her eyes on you, and it only made you more anxious. The overwhelming noise of the field mixed with the pressure building inside you—it was too much. The world felt like it was closing in, the sounds and lights blurring together.
Finally, during a sprint, your legs gave out. You stumbled, barely catching yourself before hitting the ground. That was enough for Mapi. She marched over, her expression stern, but there was concern in her eyes.
“What’s going on with you?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
You looked away, guilt gnawing at your insides. “I’m fine. Just a little... off.”
Ingrid wasn’t having it either. She stepped closer, placing a hand on your forehead before you could protest. Her eyes widened slightly as she felt the heat radiating from your skin.
“You’re burning up,” she said, her voice filled with worry. “You’re sick.”
Mapi’s frown deepened. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t want to miss training,” you muttered, feeling your throat tighten. The thought of falling behind, of being a burden—it weighed on you heavily.
Mapi sighed, exchanging a glance with Ingrid. “You can’t train like this. You’re going home.”
Before you could argue, Mapi and Ingrid were already taking charge. Ingrid was gathering your things while Mapi kept a steady hand on your back, guiding you off the field. You wanted to protest, to say you could push through, but the truth was, you were relieved. Every step off the field felt like a small weight lifting from your shoulders, even if the rest of your body felt like collapsing.
The car ride home was quiet. You leaned your head against the cool glass of the window, feeling the vibrations of the road through your skull. The steady hum of the engine seemed to echo in your ears, making the pounding in your head even worse. Every bump in the road sent a jolt through your aching body, and you could feel your fever rising.
“You’re gonna be okay,” Ingrid said from the front seat, her voice gentle. She glanced at you in the rearview mirror, her eyes soft. “We’ll get you home, and you can rest.”
Mapi reached back, her hand resting on your knee as she gave you a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t worry about training. Just focus on getting better.”
You nodded weakly, though the anxiety inside you refused to calm down. The overwhelming noise, the fever, the constant pressure in your head—it was all too much, and your ADHD only made it worse. Your senses felt overloaded, every little sound amplified, every touch feeling too sharp. It was like your brain couldn’t process anything properly, and it left you on edge.
When you finally arrived at the house, Mapi helped you inside, her arm steady around your waist. You collapsed onto the couch, too exhausted to even care how weak you must have looked. Ingrid brought over a blanket, wrapping it around you as she sat beside you, her hand gently running through your hair.
“You need to rest,” Ingrid said softly, her voice calm and soothing. “Let us take care of you.”
You wanted to protest, to tell them you didn’t want to be a burden, but the words wouldn’t come. All you could manage was a small nod as you leaned into the warmth of the blanket. Mapi disappeared into the kitchen, and you could hear the sound of the kettle boiling, the clinking of mugs. Every noise felt too loud, too sharp, making your head spin even more.
The lights in the living room seemed too bright, the blanket too heavy on your body, and your thoughts raced. Your fingers tapped anxiously against the fabric, unable to stop the nervous energy coursing through you. You hated feeling like this—helpless, overwhelmed, and too sick to do anything about it.
“I can’t relax,” you whispered, barely loud enough for Ingrid to hear. “It’s too much.”
Ingrid shifted closer, her hand stilling your tapping fingers, squeezing them gently. “I know,” she said softly, her voice full of understanding. “But you don’t have to do it alone. We’re here.”
You closed your eyes, trying to focus on her voice, but it was hard. The sensory overload was getting worse, the lights and sounds around you pressing in, making it impossible to think straight. The fever only heightened your sensitivity, every touch, every noise feeling like too much for your brain to handle.
Mapi returned with a cup of tea, sitting beside you and offering it gently. You tried to take it, but your hands were trembling, and the cup shook in your grip. Mapi quickly took it from you, placing it on the table before any more tea spilled over the edge.
“Easy,” she said softly, her tone calm and patient. “Don’t push yourself.”
You leaned into her, your body aching with exhaustion. The warmth of her arm around you and Ingrid’s gentle touch on your hand helped a little, but the restlessness inside you was relentless. Your heart pounded in your chest, your breathing shallow as the panic began to rise. You felt like you were losing control, like the world around you was moving too fast and too loud, and there was nothing you could do to stop it.
“I hate this,” you muttered, your voice breaking as tears pricked the corners of your eyes. “I just want it to stop.”
Mapi’s arms tightened around you, pulling you closer as Ingrid rubbed soothing circles on your back. “It’s okay to feel that way,” Mapi whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “We’re here, and we’re not going anywhere. Just breathe.”
You tried to focus on her words, on the steady rise and fall of her chest as she held you. Ingrid’s calming presence beside you was a lifeline, her hand grounding you as the storm inside you continued to rage.
“We’ll get through this together,” Ingrid said softly, her voice like a warm blanket around your frayed nerves. “Just take it one breath at a time.”
Slowly, the tightness in your chest began to ease. The noise in your head wasn’t as overwhelming, the lights not as blinding. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better. You leaned into Mapi’s embrace, letting the exhaustion take over, your body finally relaxing as the world around you quieted down.
---
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lovelookspretty · 1 day
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lies for lunch
rafe cameron x reader
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— in which y/n returns to her hometown, the outer banks, to work as ward cameron’s assistant at cameron development, but living under his roof for the summer leads to unexpected tension with his son, rafe.
warnings: animosity, rafes daddy issues, safe !!
authors note: for the sake of the story i need y/n or you or whatever to have a person of familiarity whos hung back in obx to act like you’ve known each other for years, SO U HAVE A FICTIONAL BROTHER 😭
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for the past ten months, you’ve been working at cameron development, helping ward negotiate deals and obtain permits. it’s been almost like being his assistant through everything. what started as an internship turned into a full-time job with actual pay after all this time.
they were right—hard work and determination can really pay off. you just didn’t expect to get so lucky with how quickly things moved. after a series of private meetings where ward discussed traveling back to north carolina to work in his hometown, he suggested you come along.
the relationship isn’t weird or inappropriate. you’re one of the few employees ward genuinely appreciates, which is more than he can say about the burnouts that float through the company. since you’re from the outer banks yourself, ward thinks it makes sense to bring you along to continue working for him and the company for as long as possible.
but anyway, you’re absolutely thrilled to be back in the outer banks. it’s more than just a job opportunity—it’s a chance to reconnect with everything familiar, everything that’s been tugging at your heart since you left.
the occasional visits have been fine, enough to keep the homesickness at bay for a while, but that constant, quiet longing for the place you grew up never really goes away. but now? now you’re staying in obx for the summer. no more fleeting weekends, no more rushed goodbyes. you’ll have time to breathe, to soak it all in. to be home.
the airport air is still fresh in your lungs when you slide into the backseat of the car, your bags dumped beside you. before the door even clicks shut, your fingers are already scrolling through your contacts. there’s only one person you want to talk to right now—your brother.
“hey,” you say, stretching out the word, a grin tugging at your lips as you hear the familiar click of him picking up.
“hey,” comes his easy, laid-back reply, his voice filling the small space around you like it always does. like home. “did you land?”
you bounce slightly in your seat as the car hits a bump, your grip tightening on your phone for a second. “yeah,” you confirm, digging through your bag absentmindedly. “i’m about twenty minutes from figure 8, so i’ll be there around noon. are mom and dad home?”
there’s a slight pause on his end, the sound of him shifting around, probably sprawling lazily on the couch back home. “nah, they’re not,” he finally says. “i swung by to check, but i guess mom’s out at lunch with her friends, and dad’s working today.”
you let out an involuntary groan, the disappointment settling in your chest. of course, it would work out like this. “this is what i get for trying to surprise them.”
his voice comes back, laced with mild amusement. “it’s your fault for not announcing you’re coming a day earlier.”
he’s right, but you don’t want to admit it. instead, you plow forward. “look, can you at least call mom and ask if she can be home soon? ward wants me to head straight to him as soon as i land, but i really wanna stop by as soon as i can. i can’t be there later than two.”
on the other end, you can almost hear the exaggerated sigh that you know is coming. the kind that’s loaded with all the typical dramatics. he’s probably rolling his eyes too, even though you can’t see him. “yeah, yeah, whatever,” he mutters, clearly unable to resist playing up his irritation. “i’ll take care of it. just text me when you’re on your way. still can’t believe you’re working for wc.”
with that, the call ends abruptly, and you pull the phone away from your ear, blinking down at the screen in mild confusion. wc? who calls him wc? you furrow your brow, lips tugging into a slight frown as you shoot off a quick text to your brother.
‘ 1st, nobody calls him wc. and 2nd, what??? ’
your phone buzzes again. his reply is as cryptic as ever.
‘ just a coincidence that in ny u ended up working for someone from obx still. don’t u remember him growing up? ’
you stare at the message, trying to piece together what he’s talking about, until another text follows almost immediately.
‘ he has like 3 kids. rafe, sarah, wheezie. i saw rafe down at the pier a few weeks ago. we used to see them at parties when we were younger. ’
rafe? sarah? wheezie? none of those names ring a bell. you rack your brain, searching for some kind of recognition, but you come up empty. a soft laugh escapes you as you quickly type back, ‘idk who that is lmao sorry’ and lock your phone, leaning back in the seat with a sigh.
ward cameron has three kids. it’s a strange thing to realize, that the man you’ve been working for these past couple of years has an entire family you’ve never heard of. but then again, work was always work. personal details were rarely exchanged unless necessary. and now, you can’t help but think—would you meet them? would they be anything like ward?
your brother mentioned seeing one of them recently, so you can assume at least one of ward’s children still live here. you wonder if the rest do too.
your thoughts wander as the car turns down another road, bringing you closer to the heart of figure 8. it’s been a long time since you’ve been back here, long enough for some of the details to feel fuzzy, but the feeling of the place—that never changes. the salty air, the warmth of the sun filtering through the car windows, the sense of familiarity that sits low in your chest, almost like relief.
you try to imagine what the next few months will be like. working for ward in the outer banks is worlds apart from working for him in new york. for one, the pace is different—slower, more laid-back. and for another, you won’t be disappearing into a faceless crowd when the workday ends. you’ll be here, surrounded by people who might actually know your name. or at least remember your face.
the car slows down, the gravel beneath the tires crunching softly as you near the cameron estate.
“thank you!” you call out, waving as the driver pulls away, leaving you standing on the driveway with your bags at your feet. for a moment, you just stand there, taking it all in. the cameron house looms in front of you.
you bend down, grabbing the straps of your bags and hauling them up, careful not to drag them across the grass. even though this isn’t your home, there’s an odd comfort in the way it feels.
you’ve been here before—well, not here exactly, but close enough. working summer jobs in figure 8 as a teenager had given you a glimpse of this world. a world where you were always on the outside, always temporary. back then, you were just a girl from the cut, doing what you had to do to get by.
no one looked at you twice. but now? now you’re here for something more. wanted, even.
the thought of it makes your stomach twist with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. you adjust the weight of your bags on your shoulder and step up to the door, knocking firmly before dropping your things to the floor with a soft thud.
a small sigh of relief escapes your lips as you straighten up, rolling your shoulders to shake off the stiffness from the journey. you’ve been lugging these bags around for hours, and your arms are starting to feel like lead.
as you wait, you take a moment to fix your hair, fingers smoothing back stray strands that have fallen into your face. it’s only then that you hear a rustle in the bushes to your left. your heart skips a beat, and you freeze, mid-motion, your eyes flicking toward the sound. you stretch your neck slightly, peering over your shoulder, but there’s nothing. just silence. your pulse settles again, and you let out a quiet laugh at yourself.
the door suddenly swings open, and you drop your hands to your sides, your face breaking into a smile. standing in the doorway is a girl, and instantly, you’re struck by how put together she looks.
her long blonde hair cascades down her back, and she’s dressed in a cozy white knit sweater paired with shorts. it’s casual, effortless, but there’s something about it that screams figure 8 wealth. but what really catches your attention are her socks—brightly colored, with little monster faces peeking out from the tops.
you smile a little wider at the sight. you’re starting to like her already.
“hey, i’m y/n,” you introduce yourself, stepping forward and extending your hand.
“it’s so nice to meet you! i’m sarah,” she replies, her smile just as warm as she reaches out to shake your hand. her grip is firm but friendly, and before you know it, she’s ushering you inside with a wave of her hand. “come on in! my dad isn’t here right now, but i can actually show you to our guest room. it’s, like, right next to mine. it’s so homey. you’ll love it.”
her energy is almost overwhelming, but in a good way. she’s excited, and you can’t help but feel a little relieved.
“i mean, yeah, sure,” you say, bending down to grab your bags again. but before you can get a good grip, sarah is already stepping in to help, lifting one of the bags with ease. you follow her inside, the door clicking shut behind you as you enter the home.
it’s everything you expected and more—bright, airy, with high ceilings and tasteful decor. it’s the kind of place that feels almost untouchable, like something out of a magazine.
as you make your way toward the stairs, you can’t help but glance around, taking it all in. the house smells faintly of lemon and clean linens, and the soft hum of the air conditioner is the only sound that breaks the quiet. it’s beautiful, but it’s also a little intimidating.
“so, is there anyone else home that i should worry about if i, like, wanted to shower?” you ask as you follow sarah up the steps.
sarah shoots you a smile over her shoulder as she leads the way. “i think you’re good. my brother and sister are here, but they won’t bother you. wheezie’s doing her homework, and rafe . . . well, he’s probably not even home.”
her tone is casual, like she’s talking about the weather, but you can’t help but feel a flicker of curiosity. you remember your brother mentioning a rafe in his text earlier, but the name still doesn’t mean much to you. maybe you’ll meet him later, maybe not. either way, it’s not something you’re too concerned about right now.
you reach the guest room door, and sarah twists the knob, pushing it open with a flourish. “here! this is your room for the summer.”
you step inside, and your breath catches in your throat. it’s . . . gorgeous. simple, but elegant, with soft cream-colored walls and wide windows that let in streams of natural light. the bed is large, with crisp white sheets that look impossibly inviting, and there’s a small sitting area in the corner with a plush chair and a side table. it’s more than you ever expected.
“wow,” you breathe, your eyes sweeping over the room. “this is . . . really nice.”
sarah grins, setting your bag down on the chair. “told you! if you’re gonna shower, i’ll leave you to it. but if you need anything, my room’s right next to yours.” she gestures vaguely toward the door. “the bathroom’s across the hall from mine. my dad will probably be home in, like, half an hour? him and rose just ran out to do something before you got here.”
you nod, but your mind snags on the name—rose. ward’s wife. it’s funny, now that you think about it, how little you actually know about ward’s personal life. you’ve worked with him for years, but he’s always kept things strictly professional. it’s only now, standing in his home, that you’re realizing just how much of his life is a mystery to you.
sarah gives you one last smile before slipping out of the room, closing the door behind her. and just like that, you’re alone. you let out a long, slow breath, your fingers absentmindedly twisting the rings on your fingers as you take a moment to center yourself. it feels surreal, being here. like stepping into someone else’s life for a while.
you cross the room and pull back the curtains, revealing a stunning view of the island and for a moment, all your worries melt away. it’s beautiful here. peaceful. maybe this summer won’t be so bad after all.
you grab your bathroom bag and a fresh set of clothes, the weight of the morning starting to press on your shoulders as you make your way to the bathroom. you pause outside the door, hearing the muffled laughter of sarah and wheezie from across the hall.
their lighthearted chatter pulls a soft smile onto your lips, a sense of warmth in this house. it's comforting, in a strange way, to be surrounded by family—even if it's not your own.
the bathroom is sleek, modern, almost too luxurious compared to what you're used to. you lock the door behind you and let out a long, relieved breath. the hot water feels like an escape, like it's rinsing away the tension of the trip, the awkwardness of being in someone else’s home, and the nerves tangled in your chest about what comes next.
as the minutes pass, you try to calm the buzz in your mind. you know you need to hurry—the last thing you want is to be caught mid-shower when ward and rose return. you quickly towel off, pulling on your new clothes with an urgency that betrays your attempt to stay calm.
you grab your bag off the counter, unlock the bathroom door, and step back into the hallway. as you cross toward your room, you stop abruptly. there, by the door, are three guys, clearly in the middle of something. confusion furrows your brow—who are they? why are they here?
one of them has his back to you, looking into the room, while the others glance in your direction, the closest one nudging the other to signal your arrival. great. more people.
the one in the doorway catches your eye. his hand is rubbing his jaw, his stance casual, like he owns the place. for all you know, he does. his other hand is stuffed in his pocket, his expression unreadable as he turns toward you.
you can feel the weight of their stares, but you offer a polite smile, trying to act unbothered even though you feel a little out of place. honestly, the house is big enough for all of them, and you're too new to figure out who’s who just yet. you’re not even sure who lives here or if they’re just guests like you.
before any introductions can be made, ward’s voice booms from the front of the house, pulling you from the awkwardness of the moment. “is she here?”
you move past the tall boy, dropping your bag off in the guest room, and make your way downstairs. your heart leaps when you spot ward and rose. the grin that stretches across your face feels genuine, a relief after navigating the uncertainty of the last few hours.
“hey,” you say, stepping off the last stair to shake their hands. “thank you for letting me stay in your home, by the way. i met sarah. she’s great.”
ward gives you a friendly nod, his demeanor warm but business-like—he's already familiar with your work ethic and you know that he expects the same here.
“yeah, wait ‘til you meet rafe and wheezie, though,” he says, glancing at rose, who’s already inching away, clearly not interested in small talk, and it stings more than you’d care to admit. but you brush it off, focusing on the fact that you’re here for work, not approval.
“did sarah show you your room?” ward asks, guiding you toward the kitchen.
“yeah, she did!” you nod, falling into step beside him. “it’s really nice. i also used the shower, honestly. also super nice.”
he chuckles lightly, gesturing to the open space around you. “help yourself to anything while you're here. bathrooms, the kitchen, the living room—whatever you need as long as you're working with me here.”
when you reach the kitchen, ward turns to face you, and you're about to answer his question when the boys from earlier walk in, their presence shifting the energy in the room.
the tall one—who you now realize must be rafe—moves with an air of familiarity, heading straight for the fridge without so much as a glance your way, though his friends have sprawled out on the couch nearby, keeping half an eye on the situation.
“you grew up here?” rafe asks, pulling something from the fridge with a nonchalance that borders on arrogance. his tone isn’t rude, exactly, but there’s a challenge in his words, like he’s testing you.
you shift your weight slightly, feeling his attention on you now. “yeah, i did.”
“humor me,” he says before his father can talk, smirking as he continues, “figure 8 or the cut?"
there it is—the divide. figure 8, the land of privilege and wealth, versus the cut, where people like you are from. it's a question loaded with judgment, but you stand your ground.
you hesitate, unsure whether to entertain your boss’s son. “that’s . . .” you begin saying, noticing the small hint of a smile on his lips as he twists the bottle cap off. “i lived in the cut.”
ward quickly steps in, raising a hand to ease the tension. “y/n,” he says, using your name in a way that reminds you you’re under his wing here. “you don’t have to answer his questions.”
there’s a quiet pause before he officially introduces rafe, confirming what you already suspected. “this is rafe,” he says, nodding toward his son, who watches you intently. ward pauses as he brushed over it quickly, “and his friends,” like he doesn’t want to say it.
you give a small wave in return, feeling the awkwardness creep back in. you’re not sure what to make of the boys yet, but the dynamic between them feels . . . off. guarded. like there’s more going on than meets the eye.
ward claps his hands together, breaking the silence. “time for lunch. rafe, can you please tell sarah and wheezie to come down?” he asks, already heading toward the patio doors. “y/n, feel free to find a seat at the table.”
you murmur an ‘okay’ and follow ward outside, the breeze hitting your face as you step onto the patio. you take a moment to scan the setup, unsure where to sit, but ward motions for you to pick any spot. the table looks inviting, the outdoor space just as luxurious as the inside. it’s surreal, really, being here—like stepping into a different world entirely.
the table outside is a lavish spread, every dish meticulously placed as though the meal is a display of the cameron family's status. some of the food is freshly prepared, you can tell by the steam rising from the platters, while other dishes have clearly been delivered, probably from some upscale restaurant.
everything is pristine, almost too perfect for a casual lunch, but you remind yourself this isn’t just any ordinary lunch. this is a welcome—to ward’s world, to his home, and into the lives of the camerons.
this lunch wasn't really about you, though. it’s more of a formality for ward’s return to north carolina.
as you sit at the table, alone for now, your gaze drifts to the patio, the large windows giving you a glimpse into the house. your thoughts wander to art, and you can almost hear his voice in your head—his dry humor, his sarcastic quips. he’d love this, probably have a million things to say about the whole setup.
the camerons, so far, seem nice. well, most of them. sarah is definitely the easiest to get along with, the type of person you instantly feel comfortable around. but rose? you're not even sure she’ll show up for lunch. and rafe . . . you’re still figuring him out. there’s something about him, something unreadable that leaves you on edge.
as your eyes sweep around the room inside, they land on rafe. he's with his friends, the same group from earlier, laughing and talking like they don’t have a care in the world. there’s an ease about him when he’s with them, like he’s more at home in their company than anywhere else.
you can’t quite put your finger on it, but something about him feels . . . dangerous? no, maybe not dangerous, but unpredictable. like he could switch from charming to something much darker in the blink of an eye.
and then it happens—he looks at you. directly at you, like he knows you’ve been watching him. the way he smiles is almost smug, as if he’s aware of the effect he has on people, on you. your heart does a small flip, caught off guard by the intensity of his gaze.
then, just as quickly, he says something to his friends, who erupt into laughter, and you feel the uncomfortable prick of self-consciousness. are they laughing at you? god, you hope not. the last thing you need is to be the butt of some joke you don’t understand.
you pull your focus away, trying to ignore the warmth creeping into your cheeks, and you shift in your chair, suddenly too aware of how out of place you feel. this isn’t your world, not yet at least. you’re still figuring out the rules, where you stand, who you can trust. it's like being in a play without knowing your lines.
“i know my kids are going to be a handful when they’re all together, so . . . be prepared for that,” ward’s voice cuts through your thoughts, and you turn slightly to glance over your shoulder at him. there’s a warmth to his tone, something almost paternal. “but they’re good.”
you force a small smile and nod, though you’re not sure how much you believe him. you have a feeling ‘good’ might mean different things in the cameron household.
“you’re a year or two older than sarah,” he continues, and you turn back to face the table, focusing on the clean lines of the polished wood, the way the sunlight catches on the glassware. “you’re not that far off in age with rafe, either. sarah’s probably going to be your best friend. she can’t help it.”
there’s a lightness in his voice, and you get the sense that sarah is the glue that holds this family together, the one everyone relies on to keep things civil. “but rafe . . . he’ll warm up to you.”
will he? you can’t help the slight lift of your brows, amusement flickering in your expression as you consider his words. you don’t agree, but you can’t say that. something about rafe feels like he’s not the type to easily ‘warm up’ to anyone, especially someone like you—an outsider stepping into his territory.
“yeah,” you murmur, your tone filled with doubt, “i’m sure of it.”
the cameron family finally gathers at the long, polished table outside, sunlight filtering through the trees and casting dappled patterns across the plates. you take in the scene quietly as everyone finds their places, the quiet shuffle of chairs pulling out, scraping slightly against the patio stones.
it’s a family affair, but rafe’s friends have tagged along—an addition that seems unsanctioned by ward but tolerated nonetheless. ward positions himself at one head of the table, with you and sarah flanking either side of him like you’re all part of some carefully orchestrated tableau.
rafe is at the opposite end, far enough that the distance feels intentional, deliberate. you can’t help but notice how he’s checked out, his gaze drifting, uninterested. to your right, one of his friends, the blond one, settles beside you, and his presence feels awkward, like he’s trying to take up as little space as possible, aware of the invisible tension in the air.
on the other side of him, the other friend sits, both of them quiet for now. down sarah’s side, wheezie sits next to her sister, then rafe at the very end. the empty chair beside wheezie feels like a gap. technically it’s rose’s chair if she were to have changed her mind.
“so what are you?” wheezie asks, breaking the initial silence, and you can see sarah’s immediate reaction, the quick glance she shoots her sister, a mild scolding in her eyes.
the phrasing is blunt, too blunt, but then again, wheezie is a kid—still learning the art of conversation, still figuring out the way words land.
before you can answer, ward steps in, his voice calm but authoritative. “y/n is my assistant,” he says, filling in the blank you hadn’t yet decided how to describe. you pause mid-chew, a small bite of food lingering on your tongue as you listen to him explain. “she’ll be working with me here in north carolina for cameron development over the next few months.”
you nod slightly, not sure how to react to being discussed like you’re not there. you’ve been in situations like this before, professionally at least, but it feels different now, being talked about in front of his family. a piece of you wants to assert yourself, to explain your role in your own words, but it feels like there’s no room for that right now. so, you stay quiet.
“that’s cool,” sarah says, her voice warm and genuine as she glances over at you, a small, encouraging smile on her face. she seems like the type who would get along with almost anyone, a natural mediator. “what do you do? as his assistant and all.”
from the corner of your eye, you catch rafe’s subtle shift, his gaze flicking toward sarah, his expression sharp for a moment, like he’s not interested in this conversation but is still somehow annoyed by it. you wonder what’s behind that look, what tension simmers under the surface.
you swallow and clear your throat, aware that everyone’s waiting for your answer now. “uh, yeah,” you start, your voice sounding more casual than you intend, like you’re trying to downplay your actual responsibilities.
“your dad has his job—he oversees the projects, handles the big picture stuff. i come along when he needs help with negotiating contracts and leases, hiring architects, engineers, contractors, all that. i also scout available land for potential developments.” you pause, glancing around the table. “just stuff like that.”
there’s a moment of silence, and for a second, you think maybe your explanation was enough. but then, like a crack in the veneer, rafe speaks, almost mockingly, “do you also get him coffee whenever he asks? do you fuck him, too?”
his words hit like a punch, unexpected and crude, cutting through the air with a kind of reckless confidence that leaves you momentarily stunned. for a second, the table feels frozen, like no one’s quite sure how to react.
the blond boy next to you nearly chokes on his food, a strangled half-laugh escaping before he catches himself, suddenly aware that rafe’s comment shouldn’t be funny.
your stomach twists, a flush of heat creeping up your neck as you force yourself to stay composed, staring straight at rafe from across the table. his gaze is fixed on you, unflinching, like he’s testing you, waiting to see how you’ll respond.
it’s infuriating—the audacity of it, the way he tosses out the insult so casually, like it’s no big deal.
ward sets his fork down with a soft clink against the plate, his fingers intertwining as he leans forward slightly. the tension shifts, thickening around the table, and you can feel every set of eyes on you, but your focus remains on rafe.
“rafe,” ward’s voice is calm, measured, but there’s a warning in it. and yet, rafe doesn’t look away, doesn’t flinch. he stays locked onto you, like you’re locked in some kind of silent standoff, and part of you wonders what he’s trying to prove.
after a beat of silence, ward adds, “can i talk to you inside the house?” it’s not really a question, more of a command, and finally, rafe moves. slowly, he pulls the napkin from his lap, tossing it onto the table before rising from his seat.
ward turns to you, his expression softening into something apologetic, and you nod slightly, acknowledging his silent apology even though you’re not sure what to do with it. as they disappear inside, the tension lingers, heavy and uncomfortable.
you force yourself to take another bite of food, though it feels like chewing cardboard. the uneasy feeling coils tighter in your chest. this is off to a rocky start, to say the least. sarah and wheezie seem fine, but rafe . . . rafe’s going to be a problem.
sarah reaches across the table, her hand brushing lightly against yours, and you glance up to meet her eyes. there’s sincerity in her expression, a quiet kind of empathy. “i’m so sorry for him,” she says softly. “rafe has a tendency to act like an idiot on a daily basis. don’t let anything he says get to you.”
before you can respond, the blond boy—topper, you think—finally speaks, his voice quiet but carrying a hint of amusement. “he doesn’t have a tendency to act like an idiot every day,” he says, shaking his head slightly as he takes another bite of food, a small smile playing on his lips. it’s the first thing he’s said to you directly, and the casualness of it surprises you.
“oh, he absolutely does,” sarah retorts with a light laugh. “and i’m sure you get yours from him.” she turns to you, smiling again. “y/n, this is topper and kelce, if you hadn’t already been introduced.”
before you can say anything, wheezie pipes up quickly, almost as if she’s sharing a secret, “sarah and topper used to date.” her voice is soft, but the reaction from sarah and topper is immediate—they both look over at her, like this was something she wasn’t supposed to say out loud.
“what?” wheezie says, glancing around the table innocently.
you can’t help but smile at the sibling dynamics playing out in front of you. it reminds you of your own relationship with your brother, the way siblings know each other’s secrets, their histories, the things that outsiders wouldn’t catch unless they were paying attention. in this brief moment, amidst the tension, you find a sliver of familiarity, of something you recognize.
you pull your napkin off your lap, rising from your seat, feeling the tension still clinging to your skin like humidity. you adjust your clothes, smoothing down fabric that doesn’t need smoothing, but it gives your hands something to do.
“where’s the nearest bathroom inside?” you ask, trying to sound casual, but you can feel the strain in your voice, the way your words almost trip over themselves.
“once you’re in the kitchen, it should be the door in the hallway if you just keep walking straight,” sarah tells you, offering a small smile. you nod in response, forcing yourself to return the gesture, though it feels hollow.
you step away from the table, and sarah seizes the moment to nudge wheezie, probably to scold her for spilling her relationship drama with topper.
as you make your way toward the bathroom, your steps slow. it’s not like you really need to go. you glance behind, making sure no one’s paying attention, before diverting your path to the front door instead. the knot in your stomach tightens with every step.
the front door is slightly ajar, and through the opening, you spot rafe. he’s leaning back in a chair on the porch, his head tilted toward the sky as if it’s the only thing he can stand to look at.
ward’s standing near him, mid-conversation, and their voices pull you in, despite knowing you shouldn’t eavesdrop. you lean against the doorframe, just out of sight, your heartbeat quickening.
“you didn't have to fly out some girl that works at the company just because she’s doing good,” rafe says, lifting his head from the chair, his voice tinged with frustration, like he’s been holding it in for too long. “i could've taken the job, especially because i’m already here.”
there’s bitterness in his words, but beneath that, you catch something else—something raw. rafe’s trying to understand why he’s being left out, why he’s not the one ward trusts.
“exactly, rafe,” ward replies, his tone firmer than before. “you're twenty-one and you’re still here. she’s twenty and she's been working with me for nearly two years. don’t you think that says something?”
his words land heavily, and for a moment, there’s silence. you feel the weight of the comparison ward’s making, and it sinks into you too, even though it shouldn’t. rafe chuckles, standing up, but it’s not out of amusement. it’s a defense mechanism, a way to shield himself from whatever hurt ward’s words are causing.
“y/n is here because she’s good at what she does,” ward continues, his voice steadier now, trying to end the conversation.
“alright, dad,” rafe says, nodding, but his expression betrays his words. “let's say i believe that—because i don’t—why am i not in her place?”
ward sighs, shaking his head like he doesn’t understand how rafe isn’t getting it. “rafe, think about what kind of job she has. how could i trust you with that?”
the words sting, and even though they aren’t directed at you, you feel a strange sense of guilt crawling under your skin. you know you’ve earned your place, worked hard for it. but hearing it spelled out like this, in such a stark contrast to rafe, it makes you feel . . . uncomfortable.
rafe rubs his chin, his fingers brushing against the stubble there. he doesn’t say anything, just nods like he’s processing it all, or maybe pretending to. he turns to head back inside.
and that’s when he sees you, standing there, caught in the act of listening.
his eyes lock onto yours, and for a second, you don’t know what to do. your throat tightens, but you force yourself to keep your head high. you can’t apologize. you don’t need to. this is your job, after all, the one you’ve worked damn hard for.
still, the silence stretches between you, heavy and uncomfortable. rafe doesn’t say anything, just turns away, walking back out toward the patio. you exhale, realizing you’ve been holding your breath. the knot in your stomach only tightens as you push yourself off the doorframe and head toward the bathroom, your footsteps almost echoing in the stillness of the hallway.
you stop in front of the bathroom door, staring at it like it might hold some answers you don’t have. your hand reaches for the knob, your fingers curling around it, but you don’t turn it. instead, you stand there, replaying the conversation in your head, trying to make sense of what you’ve just heard. rafe’s resentment, ward’s trust in you—it’s a lot to take in, and you wonder if you’re supposed to feel . . . what? proud? guilty? it’s hard to pin down.
before you can figure it out, you hear footsteps approaching. your hand drops from the doorknob just as ward’s voice reaches you.
“hey,” he says, his tone softer now, though there’s still an edge of frustration lingering there, probably from his conversation with rafe. “you and the girls getting along good?”
you plaster on a smile, nodding even though your thoughts are still tangled from the scene outside. “yeah, we’re good.”
ward mutters a small ‘good, good’ as he walks past you, heading back to the patio. you watch him go, your arms crossing over your chest as if that’ll hold you together. you follow behind him slowly, a quiet unease settling in your chest. this family, with all its complications, feels like a storm you’ve just walked into.
and then there’s rafe. if he already resents you, you can only imagine how his friends—topper and kelce—will react. boys like them, they stick together, and you know that dynamic all too well. the chances of them giving you a fair shot seem slim.
you brace yourself as you step back outside, a small sigh slipping past your lips. this job, this place—it’s not going to be easy. but nothing worth it ever is, right?
“so you're from the outer banks?” sarah asks as soon as you sit back down. there’s an edge to her voice, like she’s making an effort to seem casual but is still trying to figure you out. you can’t blame her. she’s probably just trying to get a feel for who you are, maybe ease the tension that’s been hanging in the air since you got here.
“where from?” she adds, glancing at you over the rim of her glass.
you pause, fork hovering just above your plate, feeling a flicker of unease. it’s a simple enough question, but you can already feel the weight of your answer.
“near quinton,” you say, cutting into your food with deliberate care, keeping your tone light. “a little south.”
you don’t look up as you speak, focusing on the neat little slices you’re making in your lunch, as if perfecting that action could keep the conversation from slipping into uncomfortable territory.
“i’m surprised we haven’t met before today,” you continue, the lie slipping out so smoothly you almost believe it yourself. “my friends and i knew just about everyone before i left the island.”
but the truth sits heavily in your stomach. you don’t know them. sure, your brother mentioned that your families had crossed paths when you were younger, but the memories never stuck. whatever brief moments there were, they’ve faded into the backdrop of your childhood.
rafe, however, doesn’t let your words slide by as easily. he latches onto them like a dog with a bone, straightening in his seat, eyes gleaming with interest.
“your friends?” his voice cuts through the air, almost too eager, too sharp. it’s like he’s waiting for you to say something wrong, give him an opening to tear into you. sarah watches him warily, her eyes flicking between you and her brother. she’s looking for help—maybe from her dad—but the tension is palpable, thickening by the second.
your phone buzzes in your back pocket, and the vibration pulls you from the uncomfortable scrutiny rafe’s casting in your direction.
“who do you know here?” he presses, and his tone is challenging now, like he’s daring you to prove something to him. to justify your place here, in this house, at this table.
you lift your gaze then, meeting his eyes with a steady look, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you squirm. but there’s something in the way he’s staring at you that makes your skin crawl, like he’s already made up his mind about you, about what kind of person you are.
it’s fucking exhausting.
“hate to interrupt you, ray,” you say, letting a mocking lilt creep into your voice as you rise from your seat. you keep your movements controlled, measured, not too rushed. “but i have a phone call.”
you pull your phone from your pocket, waving it slightly, feeling a small rush of satisfaction when rafe’s jaw clenches ever so slightly. “let me just take that really quick so we can continue our conversation.”
you don’t wait for his response, because you know whatever he says will just add to the irritation simmering beneath your skin. as you step out of the way, you hear him mutter, “it’s rafe,” under his breath, like correcting you is somehow important to him.
“it’s actually my brother!” you whisper-yell back, flashing the screen of your phone in his direction, making sure he sees the call.
as you walk away, you feel the tension ease just slightly, but it’s still there, humming beneath the surface. this place—figure eight, tannyhill—it’s like a tangled web, and you’ve just stepped into it, with people like rafe already ready to watch you stumble.
you press your phone to your ear as you step out of the patio and into the cool air of the home, and you try to calm yourself, leaning against the wall as your brother’s voice greets you on the other end.
you know you’ll have to go back in there, face rafe again, but for now, you allow yourself a brief moment to breathe.
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considering making this a few-part series (maybe) !! let me know if you’d be interested thru replies, anons, or dms <3
@tiaamberxx
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scribblesofagoonerr · 24 hours
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flu season | buddy & monkey: double the trouble
summary: monkey's sick with the flu and she refuses to admit it, putting her own life in jepordy.
pairings: reader!monkey x leah williamson x reader!buddy x arsenal wfc
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You’ve always been too stubborn and being sick definitely wasn’t any different, today certainly wasn’t any different not when it was the first game of the new season.
You weren’t going to let the dumb flu stop you from playing football.
Even if your head was currently pounding and your body ached a ridiculous amount, of course you weren’t going to say anything about it.
“Is that yummy, bubba?” Leah had her attention focused on Buddy, who was making a sticky mess eating pancakes, “Look at your face. It’s a good job we’ve got time for a bath before we head out.” She laughed.
“Bath!” Buddy squealed, clapping her hands excitedly before shoving a piece of syrup-soaked pancake toward your mouth, “Monkey, ‘ou want some?”
You grimaced, shaking her head in disagreement, “No thanks, Buddy,” The sickly-sweet smell of maple syrup was too much to handle right now, “You can keep your pancakes to yourself.”
“Try!” Buddy was still determined to get you to eat some of it.
“No I don’t want to,” You murmured in disagreement.
“Bubba, Monkey doesn’t want to share your pancakes. You just eat them, okay?” Leah gently tells your favourite little buddy.
“Okay Mummy,” Buddy pouted, her little face looking sad and you hated being the one to disappoint her.
“You feeling okay, Monkey?” Leah asked, concern etched on her face as she’s watching you slumped over at the table and trying to force your own breakfast down your throat, “You don’t look that good, my girl.”
Lifting your head up from the table, you can already feel your eyes beginning to droop shut again, “Oh yeah, I’m… I’m fine,” You murmur, trying to project a confidence that you certainly don’t feel.
That’s a complete lie, you’re anything but fine right now.
Leah furrows her eyebrow in further concern, “Are you sure?”
“I’m fine,” You insisted, a half-hearted smile creeping onto your lips, as if that would convince the both of you.
Leah wasn’t buying it though apparently, “It’s okay to admit that you’re not feeling well,” Leah reminds you gently, walking over to you as a trick way to try and rest the back of her hand on your forehead but you flinch away from it, “If you’re feeling ill then it’s okay. You don’t need to pretend you’re fine, you know?”
“I’m fine,” You dodge her wavering hand and fake another smile as you know exactly what she’s trying to do, “See? Totally fine.”
“Monkey,” Leah sends you a weary look.
“I’m fine, Le!” You continue to insist and get up from the table, “I’m going to get ready anyways. First game of the season, exciting right?” It literally felt like you had mustered all the energy you had for that, but you were pretty convincing if you do say so yourself.
“Okay,” Leah exhales a sigh, shaking her head and allowing you to wander off upstairs to get ready, knowing you better than you think and knowing there was definitely something wrong with you.
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The car ride to the training ground was a chance for Leah to try and get it out of you again as she wasn’t ready to drop it, “Are you sure you’re feeling alright, Monkey?” She pressed for an answer.
It didn’t take a genius to notice that you weren’t definitely not feeling your usual cheeky self nor did you have a pep in your step like normal. You were far less erratic when it came to things.
That was the first telltale sign that you weren’t feeling well at all.
The second, the visible beads of sweat coming radiating off your forehead.
“I told you I’m fine, Le. Stop fussing over me, will you?” The snap in your voice was unintentional, but the constant questions were grating on your nerves.
You’re fine, you are– It’s just the flu. It’s not a big deal.
Leah glanced over, her concern deepening, “I’m just looking out for you, Monkey. I just want to make sure that you’re not putting yourself in harm,” She paused as she pulled up at a set of traffic lights, “Think about your health, my girl.”
“Told you that I’m fine,” You argued, feeling defensive.
You weren’t missing out on the opportunity to play in the opening game, even if you did feel completely miserable.
“Are you really?” Leah’s voice softened, but the worry still remained.
“It’s just a cold, Leah. I can still play,” You tugged your hoodie over your head, ignoring the way the dizziness washed over you and you pretended to be fine.
The last thing you want right now is Leah fussing over you, or worse, pulling you out of the match.
You just had to convince her that you were fine but that was difficult when the blonde was practically watching over you like a hawk.
You’re not missing out on this one. No way!
“I still don’t think it’s a good idea,” Leah murmured, cautiously aware that you playing today wouldn’t be a good idea at all, “Why don’t you just give this one a miss? It’s just one game.”
“NO!” You exclaimed, not meaning to come across as abrupt as you said it, “I mean… I have to play, I have too– I’m not letting anyone down!”
“You wouldn’t be letting anybody down,” Leah stated, in a gentle but firm tone of voice, “Your health matters first, Monkey. Everybody will understand if you’re sick.”
“I’m not missing it and you can’t make me!” You shouted, making a beeline to escape the car once you arrived at the training grounds before Leah had even had a chance to stop her car, “So back off!”
“Monkey! Get back here, we’re not done with this conversation yet!” Leah shouted, enraged as she quickly turned the ignition off on the car, “Monkey!” She repeated.
You completely ignored the way your head pounded or how your limbs felt like they were weighted down with sand, along with the slight tremor in your hands as you made your way over to your best friend, Kyra who had joined during the summer transfer window and the two just hit it off straight away.
“What’s got Leah looking so annoyed?” The young Australian questioned, confused as she spotted the blonde looking less than pleased, “I mean she always looked slightly annoyed, but what did you do this time?” She joked.
“Nothing it doesn’t matter,” You murmured, trying to ignore the pounding in your head and force yourself to stay standing up.
“Alright, so are you ready for today?” Kyra’s loud voice caught you off guard, swinging her arm around your shoulder and you couldn’t help but stumble slightly, “First game of the season today!”
You winced at the loudness of her voice, “Ky, could you maybe not speak so loud?”
Kyra furrowed her eyebrow and looked up and down, “You don’t look so good there, mate,” She noted, “You alright?”
“I’m fine,” The lie rolled off your tongue, even though your body was screaming otherwise, “It’s just a little cold, Leah wants me to not play in today’s match but she’s overreacting about it.”
“Monkey!” Speaking of the devil and she shall appear, Leah walked over to you with Buddy in her arms, dressed in a full kit of this seasons’ jersey with a large puffer coat over the top to protect her from the unpredictable English weather, “We weren’t finished with our conversation.”
“Oh, really? I thought we were done,” You feigned ignorance to the conversation, trying to block her out since she would just keep trying to change your mind about playing in the game.
Not on your watch were you missing it.
Leah clicked her tongue and shook her head, “Unbelievable,” She muttered in disbelief as she placed Buddy down to toddle over to Lia when she had spotted her,  “We’re not done talking about this.” She said in a firm tone of voice.
“Wonderful. I look forward to us finishing it,” You deadpanned, avoiding Leah’s watchful gaze as you tried to engage in conversation with Kyra, Alessia and Vic, “So, who’s excited for the game?” You tried to pretend to be excited, but your energy felt even further weak than before.
You weren’t missing this game, not at all.
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You were lucky enough that Leah decided to make her own way to the stadium with Buddy in her car, it meant you were able to escape the hawkeye watch.
At least you were for now until you arrived at the Emirates stadium ahead of kick off.
By the time you arrived at the Emirates, you felt completely wiped out as you made your way inside and it took all your energy to even muster a smile and wave at the staff around.
“Are you alright, Monkey?” Alessia caught the way you stumbled getting off the bus and looked at you concerned.
“I’m alright,” You murmured quietly and tried to pretend like you were indeed feeling fine.
You were the complete opposite of “fine” right now.
“You don’t look fine,” Kyra chipped in, her own voice filled with concern as she draped her arm around you to help keep you standing up right, “You’re literally swaying right now.”
“I’m alright,” You repeated, still trying your best to convince yourself more than anyone else, “Please don’t say anything right now, I’ve literally had to convince Le I’m fine and if she hears me admit it then she’ll make me miss out on the game.”
The Australian girl continued to look further worried, “But you’re sick?” She questioned.
“Shh,” You were quick to place your hand over her mouth to stop her talking any further, “I’m fine, I’m completely fine, Ky.” You told her.
“Alright,” Kyra said, reluctantly agreeing with you as she kept her arm wrapped around your shoulder, “But you should probably avoid Leah if you’re trying to convince her because right now you look like you’re about to drop down right here.”
“Yeah,” You murmured in agreement, lacking the energy to be playful like usual.
Well that would have been easier to do if she weren’t standing there as part of the welcoming committee, although you couldn’t help but smile in awe when you see Buddy standing beside her and holding her hand out, copying Leah’s exact actions with the players.
Your favourite little buddy certainly was Leah’s mini me, looks and mannerisms completely.
“High five, Monkey!” Buddy chirped excitedly, vibrating with excitement as she bounced on her toes.
Kneeling down slightly, you winced as you felt the aching shoot through your body as you exchanged high fives’ with the 2 year old, before having the task of standing back up and trying to not stumble and go dizzy again.
“Monkey,” Leah greeted you with a kind smile, very much aware of the cameras’ on display that would no doubt be featured somewhere, “C’mere my girl.”
You knew exactly what she was doing when she enveloped you in a hug but there was no way to escape it and there was no way you could get out of this one.
Leah was quick to rest the back of her hand against your forehead and frown, “Monkey, you’re burning up,” She stated, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to play.” She said, her voice low to not gather too much attention around her.
“I’m fine,” You pulled away from her and flashed a fake smile before continuing to make your way in the direction of the pitch to go and inspect it, dragging Kyra along with you.
You had been incredibly excited about this opening game, it was special with thousands of fans flocking in to witness it.
“Look at the pitch,” You heard Katie’s loud voice as she walked past you, and it made you wince in pain.
Was it really a good idea to play? Sure, what’s the harm that can happen?
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“Let’s go girls,” Kim led the team out onto the pitch to begin the warm-ups ahead of the game while the absent players were sitting on the bench and mingling between them.
You were sauntering out of the tunnel when Leah caught hold of your wrist, “Monkey,” She began while giving you a firm look, “You and I both know that you’re sick and playing in this game isn’t a good idea.” She stated, promptly.
“Who’s sick?” You attempted to play dumb, pulling your wrist out of her grasp and making your way onto the pitch to warm up with the rest of them,  “Told you, I’m fine. See? I’m just peachy.”
Joining the team to run the drills, you pushed yourself to keep up even when your body begged you to slow down. You could feel the sweat trickling down your back and the light headedness was slowly starting to creep back in, but you refused to acknowledge it so you could continue to warm up.
You weren’t about to let anybody down today.
During every single drill, you could feel your body protesting more loudly but you had to keep the facade going, grinning through it all.
You weren’t about to be seen as weak, especially not today.
“Is she okay?” Beth questioned in concern, apparently she was able to see through your act, “She doesn’t seem like her usual self.” She added, noticing the slow pace you had while taking part in the drills with the rest of the team.
“She really doesn’t,” Viv piped in as Buddy sat on her lap and excitedly chatted her ear off.
You felt a sudden wave of dizziness wash over you but you tried to shake your head and clear it– You’re fine, you just need to push through it.
Apparently, everyone else could see the facade that you were putting on.
“Monkey’s sick and she’s being stubborn apparently,” Leah exhaled a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose as she continued to keep a watchful eye on you, “I didn’t want her to play, it’s not a good idea, but of course she’s very much against the idea.”
“Of course she is,” Beth murmured, shaking her head, “Can’t you do anything about it though? She’ll listen– Maybe you could tell Jonas and he can make the decision to bench her.”
You tried to keep pushing on, keeping up the pace with your teammates but you’re slipping.
Ten minutes in and you can feel it– the fever, the exhaustion, the weight of your body dragging you down.
“Or there’s Kim,”  Viv chimed in, gesturing to your Captain who’s not too far away from where you stood.
It happened so fast, one moment you were sprinting down the pitch and the next, your legs gave out way beneath you and you collapsed onto the grass, the cold ground grounding you and everything fading into darkness.
“I guess so– Oh my God, Monkey!” Leahs’ eyes were frantic as she bolted up from her seat, watching the moment that your legs gave out beneath you and sent you crashing to the ground.
“Monkey!” Lia is the nearest to Monkey as she panicked and dropped to her side before her eyes scanned around looking for Leah, “Leah! Over here!”
“Get the medics, now!” Kim shouted, the panic laced in her own voice.
“Monkey!” Leah rushed to your side as she crouched down beside you, “Monkey! Can you hear me?” You felt her strong arms lift you off the ground, “I’m here, I’m right here, my girl.”
The world slowly came back into focus and you could see Leah’s worried face staring right back at you, “I’m fine,” You mumbled, but it sounded weak even to you.
“Fine?” Leah couldn’t help but scoff and shake her head, “No, I told you that it was a bad idea, I knew you were sick and yet you didn’t listen. This is very much not fine!” Her voice still remained firm but she couldn’t help but be worried, watching you collapse was enough to make her panic.
“I don’t see the big deal, I’m fine,” You murmured groggily, attempting to push yourself back up, “I can still play, I just… I need to get my breath back.” You added.
The medic team ran to your side and began to do checks to make sure you’re fine, and you didn’t hit your head or anything too serious.
“No, no, absolutely not,” Leah told you, holding you firmly down, “I don’t think so, look I know you want to play but it’s not a good idea and I mean that this time, Monkey.” She insisted, her grip strong and reassuring.
“No, Leah! I can’t! The game–” You wanted to argue and tell her you’re fine again, that you can keep going but all that comes out is a weak cough.
Your head felt like it was on fire and the cold air against your skin sent a shiver through you.
“You’re not playing,” Leah repeated, firmly as she lifted you up into her arms and carried you back to the bench, “You’re burning up, forget about the game. You’re sick, and I’m letting you get any worse.”
“But Le,” You attempt to talk but lack any energy to try and argue your case, your body has already given up as you curled up on the bench, feeling small and defeated, “Okay.” You reluctantly gave in.
Leah pulled off her own coat and draped it over you like a blanket, “Sit here, don’t move,” She paused as she brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes, “I’m going to grab you some water and have a word with Jonas.”
You hate this– You hate feeling weak, hate that you had to miss out. That you let yourself get to this point.
“I’m fine to–” You muttered, trying to sit back up and protest against the idea.
“No, don’t even think about it,” Leah interjected, shaking her head, “God, how can you still be this stubborn even when you’re sick? I want you to sit here and not move, alright?” She said, pointing her index finger in your face.
“Don’t worry Le, we’ll keep an eye on her,” Beth piped in from where she sat on the other side of you on the bench, “Go talk to Jonas, it’s fine.”
Leah flashed her blonde friend a grateful smile, “Thanks, Beth.” With that, she wandered off to find your coach and left you on the bench with Beth, Viv, Buddy.
“Monkey, ‘ou okay? You fell,” Buddy’s innocent eyes looked concerned as she tried to crawl over to sit on your lap, despite your curled up frame, “Hugs make things better!”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now, Buddy,” Viv was reluctant to let Buddy attempt to climb over you, understanding how weak you might be feeling right now along with the whole fact of Buddy not getting sick either.
“Ow,” Buddy pouted and it broke your heart to see her look so upset.
You let out a cough and it wracked your whole body, “I can… I can still play. I’m fine, see? It’s just a cough,” You tried to insist that you’re fine, while attempting to try and stand up again as you felt a sense of determination that you weren’t about to miss the game.
Beth saw straight through it and pushed you back down into your seat, “Hey, no. Take it easy, Monkey,” She paused, “You’re definitely not in any fit state to play today as much as you want to.”
“I don’t want to let anyone down though,” You murmured, feeling the disappointment for not being there for your teammates.
Beth gave you a sympathetic smile and wrapped her arm around you, “You’re not letting anybody down, kid. You can’t help being sick.”
“I feel like I am,” You quietly admitted.
It’s not too long before Leah walks back over to where you’re sitting, “Right, I’ve had a word with Jonas and he’s aware you're not able to play today,” She informed you, handing you a bottle of water to drink, “Here you go my girl, drink this please.” She instructed, taking a seat beside you on the bench in the free spot.
“I’m sorry,” You muttered a quiet apology, you had kind of been horrible today and all because you were so stubborn to admit when you were sick and not able to play.
“It’s okay my girl,” Leah pulled you into her side and brushed the hair away that was stuck to your forehead, “I just don’t want to see you get any worse, alright?”
“O… Okay,” You reluctantly gave in to her words and kept yourself tucked into her side.
“You’ll get better in no time, there’s plenty more matches this season,” Leah promised you, “But you would have really been putting yourself in harm's way if you had played today.” She added.
“I get it,” You murmured, hoping the lecture was over but you were definitely mistaken there.
“This is serious, Monkey,” Leah continued to tell you, “I know you might feel like I am nagging you, but this could have been so much worse than it was.” She said, reminding you the seriousness of how bad it could have been– She was right there.
“Do you?” Leah asked, raising an eyebrow,” Cos’ I really don’t think you do– Your decision was reckless and irresponsible, you could have hurt yourself. What could have happened if you hit your head when you collapsed?”
“I know, I know,” You bit your bottom lip and felt immense guilt for making everyone worry like they did, “I know it was a stupid decision and I’m sorry that I did that.”
Leah exhaled a sigh, sympathetic for you feeling so miserable, “Right, how about we head home now then?” She suggested, gesturing for you to try and stand up, but your body definitely felt too weak to even move right now.
Shaking your head, you stayed seated on the bench, “No… No, I don’t wanna go home– Can we stay and watch the match, please?” You asked.
“Monkey,” Leah began, debating the decision in her head, “You’re sick and you need to be at home resting, being here isn’t a good idea.”
“It’s the first game of the season–  It’s important,” You plead, you didn’t want to miss it even if you were feeling like you had literally been run over by a double decker bus, “Please?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Leah furrowed her eyebrow and shook her head, “You’ll feel better if you’re at home. You can watch the game at home, we can probably catch most of it on telly.”
“I don’ wanna go,” Buddy insisted, managing to successfully climb onto Beth’s lap and tuck herself against her, “Wan’ stay, Mummy!”
“There’s no harm in staying to watch, Le,” Beth spoke up as she gave her opinion, “Monkey’s hardly able to move right now and if worse comes to the worst, she can just curl up and sleep here on.” She joked, gesturing to the way you had all but tucked yourself into Leah’s side and your eyes were drooping shut.
“Stay,” Buddy repeated.
Leah exhaled a sigh and gave in, “Fine, alright, but as soon as it finishes, we’re going home,” She paused to look at you, “You need to rest and get better.”
“Alright,” You smiled faintly, despite the overall exhaustion you felt.
“Why were you so insistent to play today when you feel so terrible, huh?” Leah kept her arm wrapped securely around you, “You scared me when you collapsed in the way that you did.”
“I’m sorry, I thought I could push through it and I would be fine,” You continued to lean into her, too exhausted to put up the fight anymore as your body wracked with coughs again, “I didn’t want to let the team down. I didn’t want to miss out.” You mumbled, your words slurring together as the fever pulled you deeper into exhaustion.
Leah exhaled a sigh and shook her head, running her hand through the strands of your hair, “You can’t help anyone when you’re like this, my girl,” She told you, “Next time, listen to me, yeah? I’ve always got your best interest at heart, delightful teenage attitude and all.” She joked.
“What fun is that though,” Sick or not, you can't help but be your usual cheeky self as you smirked at the blonde, “God, my body aches– I feel horrible.” You admitted out loud.
“And that’s you finally admitting you're sick, I’m shocked,” Leah joked, ruffling your hair and you didn’t even have the energy to growl or protest like usual, “Something tells me this is gonna hit you hard this week, eh?” She murmured, making the mental note to drop a text to Jordan to arrange the alternative option for Buddy to stay with her to avoid ending up with both of them sick.
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© scribblesofagoonerr
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cannibalspicnic · 3 days
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I've been wanting to organize my thoughts and theories about the trial, so I'm gonna try writing through them here. Honestly, one of my favorite things about this show so far is the endless potential for speculation so, here it goes....
I think the trial itself was mostly Santiago's idea, and it was the perfect power grab for him.
Lestat's presence at the trial, however, I think is pretty much entirely Armand's doing and the main reason Armand involved himself as deeply as he did.
Santiago didn't know Lestat, didn't seem to particularly appreciate Lestat's presence at the trial, and moreover, didn't need Lestat at the trial. As Claudia pointed out, it was never really a trial. It was a stoning. Execution was the foregone conclusion, and the trial was just a piece of theater. All he really needed were Claudia's diaries and maybe Sam's more poetic extrapolations. The "jury" had no idea what was happening anyway and were just doing call and response.
But Armand's got this whole love/hate obsession with Lestat, and I think the hate and resentment part of that obsession gives cause for Armand to want Lestat to be forced to witness in person the execution of his family. As far as the love part of the obsession, I think Armand hopes that once Lestat is left alone, he'll have no choice but to stay with Armand. Possibly there's a part of Armand that genuinely wants Lestat to see him as his avenger.
I do not believe Lestat was there willingly. I think, like in the books, he was imprisoned and starved to keep him weak, but he wasn't as completely incapacitated as he was in the books. Lestat agreed to read the lines and rehearse etc. because if he hadn't, they wouldn't have let him participate in the trial at all, and the trial was Lestat's only chance to even SEE Louis and Claudia, much less try to save either of them.
And once the trial starts, Lestat repeatedly tries to undermine it, but he's still walking a fine line because if he fucks with the coven too much, he might be removed and lose any chance he has to affect the outcome. I think we also might find out that he tried and failed a few other ways to save Louis AND Claudia.
Which brings me to the question of Lestat and Claudia. I do not believe Lestat ever wanted Claudia dead, though it's understandable to believe differently from what we've seen in the show so far. I do think we're going to find out that Lestat made one last ditch effort to save Claudia after Louis was dragged offstage, even if it was only to plead with Armand for her life. Armand's being the only version of that moment feels too juicy to not come back to it. That being said, it wouldn't surprise me to learn that Lestat prioritized saving Louis first, and that's one of the things that continues to haunt him after the trial about Claudia's death. Especially after all she says about it never being about her.
What I find really interesting is that when Louis is recounting the trial, he repeatedly insists that Lestat was there for revenge and that he believes Lestat helped orchestrate it. But in the flashbacks from Louis' memories, we also see Lestat is not having a good time and is somehow weakened, that something is not quite right with him.
It's one of my favorite examples of Louis reaching for the truth he knows is inside of him, inside his memories. That's why the revelation that Armand had directed the play and Lestat had saved him made such a huge impact. Those were the missing pieces of the puzzle, and they are what led him to recontextualize everything he already knew. Namely, if Lestat had saved him, he was never there for revenge. And his genuine contrition about the drop, his attempt to take some of the responsibility for Claudia's making, his unsteady and unhappy demeanor...they make sense because Louis realizes that Lestat was a prisoner during the trial, not Armand. I don't think Louis would have ever gone to find Lestat if he truly still believed that he organized Claudia's death or even agreed to it.
So back to Armand. I do actually think that Armand loved Louis. I've said before, when it comes to Armand, it's best to let go of reason and embrace the gremlin to understand his actions. I do think some of Armand's initial interest in Louis is specifically because he is Lestat's fledgling, but he did come to love Louis himself. And I think Louis came to love him. I know this is not a popular opinion, but hear me out.
First of all, I think Armand never let go of the idea that he was going to have to kill Louis. I think he always kinda saw his time with Louis as delaying the inevitable. But he did want Louis for himself, and so he kept buying more and more time. So when the coven confronted Armand, it didn't even feel to him like he was betraying Louis, so much as he'd run out of time to keep Louis alive. I think in Armand's mind, he genuinely didn't feel like he could prevent it.
As far as how Louis feels about Armand. I know I've seen people mention that the reason he can tell Armand, "I love you," is that he doesn't mean it. And I agree. I do not think Louis loves Armand during the events of "I Want You More Than Anything in the World." But season 2 takes place over several years, and I think Louis was able to find love for Armand.
However, because I love it when things are really fucked up, I think Louis only really started to let himself feel love for Armand after Armand left the coven for him after Louis turned Madeleine. Which is unfortunate because Armand was obviously lying his ass off about that.
But when we see them at the café, and Madeleine says she can feel Louis' love for Armand, we see a different reaction from Louis than in 2x04. He is more uncomfortable with the idea of it. I don't believe that Madeleine was misreading Louis or actually feeling his love for Lestat. I think Louis is uncomfortable because it is true.
I also think it's the first time Armand actually believes that Louis loves him. And because of that, I think that moment just before the coven descends on the café is the first time he even realizes that he had a choice in all of it. That he could have tried to save Louis.
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If I'm right, UGH, so fucked up. I hope I'm right.
Anyway, I've rambled so fucking much. I don't even have a tl;dr because even *I* don't wanna have to read all that to summarize it properly. And I probably forgot some stuff, but let's all just be grateful for that.
Just to reiterate, this is all speculation. I could be very wrong, and I know there's stuff the cast has said that might indicate that I am, but I take stuff like that with a grain of salt, especially in this show.
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paddockletters · 10 hours
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shattered hearts | lando norris
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pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: you break free from a toxic relationship, embarking on an exhilarating journey of self-discovery
warning: emotional abuse, infidelity, toxic relationship, angst
author's note:this was hard, so hard omg... as I always say, english is not my first language so sorry me if there are mistakes —feel free to tell me— and my requests are open!👀
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I met Lando when we were barely out of high school. Back then, he was just a kid with dreams and a mischievous smile that made you feel like you were the only one in the world that mattered. For a while, I believed that was true. But as the years went by, I learned that Lando's smile wasn’t mine alone—it was shared with others, stolen moments behind my back. And somehow, I was always the one left picking up the pieces.
Our relationship was a whirlwind, the couple everyone thought would either crash or last forever. We did crash—over and over again. But somehow, Lando always found a way to convince me to come back.
“I’m sorry,” he’d say, voice low and pleading after one of his inevitable affairs. “But you know you’re my number one, right? None of them matter like you do.”
He’d wrap his arms around me, pull me close, and somehow, I’d believe him. I had to because after eight years of being with him, I didn’t know who I was without him.
The first time he cheated, I was devastated. It was in his early F1 days, just as his fame started to sink in. He swore it was a one-time thing that it didn’t mean anything. And like a fool, I believed him. But it didn’t stop. It never stopped. There was always another girl, another excuse, another lie wrapped up in the promise that I was still the "main one."
One particular night, I remember the argument that nearly broke us for good. Lando had been out late, and I found out through a mutual friend that he had been seen with another girl. Again. When he came home, reeking of alcohol and guilt, I confronted him.
“You said you were going to change, Lando!” I yelled, tears streaming down my face. “You promised me, over and over again, but nothing ever changes!”
“Why are you making such a big deal out of this? You always come back. You always forgive me,” he shot back, arms crossed, his face a mask of irritation.
His words stung like a slap to the face. I wanted to scream, to leave right then and there. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. Because a part of me still loved him, or maybe it was the idea of him—the boy I met before the fame, before the lies.
As the years rolled on, our friends saw the cracks. One night during a get-together at a bar, I tried to put on a brave face. I thought maybe if I acted normal, I could convince myself everything was fine. But when Jess pulled me aside, her expression serious, I knew I couldn’t hide anymore.
“Why do you keep letting him treat you like this?” she asked, frustration evident in her voice. “You deserve so much better, and he’s just going to keep doing this until you realize it.”
“Maybe he’ll change. I can’t just throw away eight years,” I replied defensively. “We have a history.”
“You mean a history of him cheating on you? You have to stop putting up with this, or you’re going to lose yourself,” she insisted, shaking her head.
I didn’t have an answer for her, not really. I just wanted to believe that things would get better. That Lando would see how much I cared and finally choose me over everyone else.
Our mutual friends began to pick sides. Some supported me, while others were loyal to Lando. It was suffocating, a constant tug-of-war that made everything feel so much worse. I felt more isolated than ever, even when surrounded by people.
Then there was the jealousy. Lando was incredibly possessive, especially with his fellow drivers. During one race weekend, I was talking to Charles, who had just finished his session. Lando walked in, and his eyes darkened.
“Why are you always chatting up the other drivers?” he snapped, pulling me aside as Charles walked away, giving us a questioning look.
“Because they’re my friends, Lando! Just because you’re in F1 doesn’t mean I can’t talk to anyone else. You’re not my warden,” I shot back, feeling the anger rise in my chest.
“Don’t act like I’m overreacting. You know how it looks,” he hissed, jaw clenched, frustration bubbling beneath the surface.
I knew he was being unreasonable, but I was too exhausted to fight back. Our friends watched the tension build, hoping to intervene. I overheard Max once whisper to Lando.
“You need to chill, mate. You’re pushing her away.”
But Lando always had an excuse for everything, often deflecting blame onto me.
“You just don’t understand how this world works!” he’d shout, leaving me feeling small and defeated.
The cycle continued, and I found myself in the same painful arguments over and over. One night, after he came home late from a party, I had finally reached my breaking point.
“Do you even care about how I feel?” I shouted, my voice echoing through our apartment. “You’re always out with other girls! How am I supposed to trust you?”
“I told you, you’re the main one! None of them matter!” he retorted, but his words felt hollow to me.
We spent that night in silence, and I knew I had to make a decision. I just didn’t know how to let go.
The more time passed, the more I began to distance myself from Lando. Therapy helped. I began to see the truth behind his words and actions. The way he manipulated me, made me feel guilty for his mistakes. The way he made it seem like I was the one at fault for staying, like I was to blame for the pain he caused me.
During one therapy session, I shared my frustrations.
“I don’t know why I keep coming back to him. He’s hurt me so many times, and I just can’t let go.”
The therapist asked me one simple question: “Do you love him, or are you just scared of being without him?”
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t know the answer.
One evening after another brutal fight, I finally left. For good this time. I packed my bags while he watched, silent for once. Maybe he thought I’d come back, just like I always did. But this time was different. I walked out the door, leaving behind eight years of memories, both good and bad.
The nights were long and lonely, and I often found myself thinking about the happy moments we had. One flashback struck me particularly hard: it was the first time he had taken me to the paddock during a race weekend, and we laughed like kids as he showed me around.
“Can you believe this is my life now?” he had said, beaming with pride. “I never would have thought I’d be racing in F1.”
“I always knew you could do it,” I replied, squeezing his hand.
But now, those memories felt tainted, and I needed to focus on myself. It wasn’t easy. There were nights I cried myself to sleep, wondering if I had made the right decision. But with time, and with the help of my therapist, I started to heal. I began to see that I deserved better, that I deserved someone who would love me the way I had always wanted Lando to.
One evening, after finally leaving Lando for good, I found myself at a racing event with friends. It was a chance to distract myself from the whirlwind of emotions I was navigating. As I wandered through the paddock, I was drawn to the sound of laughter.
“Are you lost, or just overwhelmed by all this?” a smooth voice asked. I turned to see Pato O'Ward, the charming IndyCar driver, grinning at me. His eyes sparkled with warmth, and for the first time in a long time, I felt a flicker of something hopeful.
“I guess a little bit of both,” I replied, smiling back.
“Come on, I’ll show you around,” he offered, his energy contagious. As we walked through the paddock, he shared stories about his racing experiences and the thrill of competing. It felt so refreshing to be around someone who was passionate and genuine, without the weight of expectations or drama.
Days turned into weeks, and I found myself spending more time with Pato. He was everything I had needed—funny, respectful, and utterly devoted. He listened to me, understood my past, and never once made me feel like I was in a competition for his attention.
One night, after a thrilling race, he took me to a quiet spot overlooking the track. “You know,” he said, “I’ve been thinking a lot about how important it is to find someone who truly sees you. I see you, and I want to be that person.”
His words resonated deep within me, filling the void Lando had left. In that moment, I knew I had found something special with Pato, something I had longed for but never thought I could have.
Meanwhile, Lando had his own set of problems. He was still juggling relationships, using his charm to keep people around while juggling jealousy over his fellow drivers. I heard from our mutual friends that he was still stuck in the same toxic patterns, always in and out of relationships, always claiming that I was the one who got away.
I remember a race weekend when Charles and Lando got into an argument. I was watching from the sidelines with Pato when Charles approached me, concern etched on his face.
“Are you okay? I know things with Lando have been… complicated,” he said, his gaze shifting to Lando, who was across the paddock, still fuming.
“I’m fine, really. I’ve moved on,” I assured him, but I could see the doubt in his eyes.
Later that evening, I got a message from Lando, who had obviously overheard the chatter.
“I know you’re happy with him, but you’re still mine. You always come back to me, remember?”
It took everything in me not to respond. I had a new life now, a new partner who respected me and didn’t cheat. Lando’s words were just echoes of the past.
Fast forward to our wedding day. I stood in front of the mirror, adjusting my veil, my heart racing with excitement. Pato had become my rock, my partner in every sense of the word. I knew this was the right choice, and my heart was finally at peace.
Then, my phone buzzed. It was a message from Lando.
“I heard you’re getting married. Just wanted to say, I hope you’re happy. But I still think about you. We could’ve had it all, you know.”
I stared at the message, my heart pounding. For a moment, I considered replying. But then I remembered all the sleepless nights, the tears, the heartbreak, and all the promises he had broken.
“Too late,” I typed back, hitting send before I could second-guess myself.
As I walked down the aisle, Pato’s face lit up with joy, and I couldn’t help but smile back. When he took my hands in his, I felt a sense of completeness I hadn’t known in years.
The ceremony was beautiful, I felt a sense of completeness I hadn’t felt in years. When Pato took my hands in his, I knew I was finally moving forward.
As we exchanged vows, Lando’s presence lingered in the back of my mind, but I let it go.
“I promise to love you through every challenge and to celebrate every victory,” he said, his eyes shining with sincerity.
“I promise to choose you every day for the rest of my life,” I replied, my voice steady and full of conviction.
We sealed our vows with a kiss, and I felt liberated. Lando was no longer my story; I was the author of my own life now, and it was a beautiful beginning with Pato. With him by my side, I was ready to embrace the future we would build together, thriving in a relationship based on trust, respect, and love.
As time passed, I learned to appreciate the small moments—the laughter, the late-night talks, the shared dreams of a future together. Pato supported my passions and encouraged me to pursue my own ambitions, something I had never fully experienced before.
One day, I received a message from Max: “Lando’s been a mess since your wedding. He didn’t handle it well.”
I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of satisfaction. He had always taken me for granted, and now, he was the one left behind.
I hoped Lando would find peace eventually, but I also knew I couldn’t go back to the pain of our past. Pato was everything I needed, and I was determined to focus on our life together.
As our first anniversary approached, Pato planned a surprise getaway. “I want to celebrate us, everything we’ve built,” he said, a bright smile on his face.
We traveled to a beautiful beach destination, where we spent our days relaxing, laughing, and simply enjoying each other’s company. One night, under a sky full of stars, Pato took my hand and said, “You’ve changed my life for the better. I want to keep building this amazing life with you.”
I couldn’t hold back my tears. “You’ve shown me what real love looks like, Pato. I’m so grateful for you.”
His expression softened as he leaned in, kissing me gently.
Then, one day, I got a call from Lando.
“Can we talk?” he asked, voice shaky.
“What do you want, Lando?” I replied, my heart racing.
“I just need to explain… things didn’t go as planned after you left. I’ve made mistakes, and I want you back.”
I paused, memories flooding back. “You had your chance, Lando. I can’t keep going back to the past. I’m happy now. I’ve moved on.”
“But I still love you!” he pleaded. “You were always my main one!”
His words echoed painfully in my mind, but I stood my ground. “You had your chance to prove that. You made your choice.”
The phone call ended, and I sighed with relief. I looked at Pato, who was sitting beside me, and smiled. I had made the right choice.
I felt a sense of peace wash over me. Lando was no longer a part of my narrative. My life was filled with the warmth and love Pato brought into it, and I was excited for the future we would continue to create together.
With Pato, I had learned to love again, not just him, but also myself. And that made all the difference.
Lando’s chapter had closed, and I was finally ready to start anew, with someone who truly valued me, not just as the ‘main one,’ but as the woman I had become.
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vivwritesfics · 3 days
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BEST FRIEND TYLER FIC I BEG WITH SHENANIGANS AND CARING TYLER JUST BEING AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL
Lmao she knows about the bestie Tyler stuff I already have
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There was nothing better than watching Tyler do what he did best. Watching him chasing storms, that grin on his face.
She held on as he drove into the storm, grin matching his. This was just for them. It wasn't for his YouTube, wasn't a moment to be monetised. It was just them.
"Ty!" She shrieked through a giggle as he anchored the truck down. There they sat, watching as the storm happened around them.
It would have been so easy to lean over and kiss him. But that would have ruined near thirty years of friendship. But he looked so pretty with his cap backwards on his head. His grin, the way his eyes shined, she couldn't get enough.
"Wanna get something to eat after this?" He asked as he placed his hand on her knee.
She squeezed his hand between her legs and gave a nod. "Think we can camp out in here tonight?"
"Why do you think I always keep blankets in the back?"
They got food, fast food, and headed to the store for snacks. Tyler paid for everything; he always did. And then they were back in the truck, heading into the middle of a field somewhere.
They'd been doing it since they were kids. Every time something happened, this was where they ended up.
As soon as they were parked, Tyler climbed into the back. He set up the blankets and patted the space beside him.
It was fine, laying against him and watching the stars while he muttered sweet things against her hair. It was sweet, but it could have been more.
She just wanted it to be more.
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barcaatthemoon · 2 days
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baller || kelsey plum x reader ||
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Kelsey takes you out after a game.
Kelsey made a beeline for the locker room at the sound of the final buzzer. You stayed in your courtside seat as some of her teammates gathered around you. It was always a bit of a party whenever you managed to find time to come to Kelsey's games. She swore that she played better whenever you were in the stands, something that her teammates all also agreed with. Personally, you thought Kelsey played great whether you were there or not, but you'd accept all of the extra love you got from it.
"I am sorry to delay your post-game kiss. Hopefully Becky was good company." Kelsey was panted slightly as she spoke to you. The huddle of girls around you had kept you from seeing her as she sprinted from the locker room over to where you'd been sitting.
"You say that, but I still haven't been kissed yet," you teased. Kelsey pushed past everybody to get to you. Once she was close enough, Kelsey cupped your cheeks and pressed several quick kisses to your lips before ending it on a longer one. You broke the kiss as her teammates whooped and hollered at the two of you. "Take me home now please?"
"Hold on, not yet baby. I wanna take you out," Kelsey said. She helped you out of your seat and walked you out of the arena. After a win like that and with you on her arm, Kelsey felt like she was on top of the world. Nothing could knock her down a peg, not even your potential rejection of her wanting to take you out. "If you don't want to go out, that's okay. I didn't make reservations anywhere."
"Aren't you tired after all that?" Kelsey shook her head as she grabbed your hand to kiss the back of it. "Can I pay tonight or are you wanting to show off?"
"You know me baby, I gotta show off a little. I'd take you dress shopping if it wasn't so late," Kelsey told you. You cracked a smile at her, knowing that was true. She had once kept you out all day with a game, shopping trip, and extravagant dinner before ending it at the club with her girls. "Are you sure that's okay?"
"Absolutely fine by me," you told her. Kelsey bit her lip as she turned back to the wheel. You knew that she was playing a bit, but you didn't mind. Showing off meant more than just throwing around some money with Kelsey. She would do everything she could to make sure that you had a good time, and usually, that meant being a bit over the top with her flirting and jokes.
There were seemingly hundreds of flashy restaurants all over Vegas, but Kelsey knew what you liked. It was the kind of place where you had worked before you even moved here. A hidden gem among the locals, known mainly to the people who found themselves getting off work as all of the parties died down.
Both you and Kelsey were regulars here. The staff knew you both, although they saw Kelsey as an extension of you at times. It didn't matter if the woman came in on her own, which had only happened a couple of times, they'd send her on her way with your usual order. Neither one of you had to even look at a menu, the waitresses already knowing what you'd want.
"It's not the Ritz, but I need something good. I hope to have a long night ahead of myself," Kelsey said with a wink. You rolled your eyes at her, but didn't disagree. It was likely that you and Kelsey would be up all night as soon as you got back to her place. You didn't mind that, in fact, you were already having a hard time keeping your hands completely to yourself.
You loved the pre-game outfits and all, but there was something about Kelsey's lowkey post-game outfits that got you. You loved seeing her walk around in the practice shorts and Aces t-shirt that you knew you'd be wearing in the morning. You liked seeing Kelsey comfortable, and maybe, just maybe, you were relieved that she wasn't getting stared at by strangers.
"So, and you can totally say no to this, Chelsea found this big couples' retreat thing. They did it last year, but Darren didn't want to, so I went and coupled up with one of the single girls, which was fun. Anyway, I was thinking that it would be more fun if you came with this year, but you don't have to. I know that I already ask a lot with you coming to my games and shit…" Kelsey trailed off awkwardly. You smiled at her as you leaned across the table to kiss her cheek.
"I'd really like that. Just let me know when it is, and I'll make arrangements," you told her. Kelsey perked up at your agreement, having thought it would be harder to convince you.
The two of you left the restaurant shortly after that, not wanting to go home quite so early into the night. Kelsey knew that some of the girls on the team were planning on going out, but she wanted you all to herself. You had always loved the lights, so Kelsey drove up and down the strip a few times until you started to get very obviously tired.
"Can I carry you upstairs?" Kelsey asked as she pulled into her garage. You quirked an eyebrow at her, but the longer that you looked at her, the clearer it became that she wasn't joking. "Please?"
"Are you ever scared that people think you do too much for me?" you asked. Kelsey scoffed at your question. The idea that there would ever be 'too much' was ridiculous. Kelsey knew that you were going to be the person she grew old with, and if she could make any aspect of your life easier or better, then she was determined to do so.
"Never. I get teased every practice because everybody thinks I'm whipped, but I just love you. You do so much for me that nobody sees or knows about, and I don't think that I'll ever be able to make it up to you, so I try in other ways. I know that it looks like a lot, but it's not. You love me, and you let me love you. Besides, do you know how fucking cool I look running around with you on my arm in all those fancy ass clothes?" You could tell that Kelsey was nowhere near stopping, so you climbed over the center console and into her lap. Immediately, Kelsey got quiet and started to run her hands down your sides until she got to your ass.
"I love you too," you told her. Kelsey grinned into a kiss, much sweeter than any of the others you had shared that night. Kelsey didn't try to push it further, only just pulling away before you buried your head into her shoulder to hide your yawning.
"You're so cute when you're sleepy," Kelsey whispered as she took you out of the car. She carried you upstairs first, knowing that her basketball bag would stay in the car until the morning because she wasn't leaving your side all night.
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theanimeroom · 3 days
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BOMBSHELL | TEASER
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synopsis: five men, five women, one villa. with hearts and a $50,000 cash prize on the line, who will win the race to find love?
warnings: love island au featuring: tokyo revengers, blue lock, and jujutsu kaisen, lots of kissing, smut, multi characters × reader, lots of mixed pairings, very random challenges, fluff, slow burns, mentions of cheating, drama, angst, plenty of tears, multi fandom, and playlists included!
a/n: content warnings will be posted with each chapter, so be sure to read thoroughly before indulging! i haven't written a full fic in a while, so any beta readers would be appreciated to make sure that the story comes out as best as it could <3 the story will progress through my own discretion as well as voting at the end of each chapter, so make sure to cast your votes to see how the plot will unfold!
BOMBSHELL MASTERLIST
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your heartbeat was erratic as you stood in front of the fire pit and your host, eyes scanning the expanse of the large, beautiful villa that you'd been staying at for the past four weeks.
you still remember the first day that you walked in here; a plethora of pretty faces greeting you with happy smiles and intrigued expressions. you reminisced the way that you were almost as nervous as you are now, eyes wide and palms clammy as you tried to ignore the growing anxiety surging through you. you thought about all the experiences you'd had up until this point, all the friends you made, all the things you learned about yourself, and most importantly, him.
out of everything that you had been through in your time at the villa, one thing that made the whole experience worth it was finally meeting the person of your dreams. you came onto the show thinking that it would be something fun, maybe slightly embarrassing, but fun nonetheless. you never thought that you would come out the end with someone that you could call your own, someone who understood you seemingly better than you knew yourself. despite all the fights, all the tears, and everything in between, you managed to come out the other end okay. happy even.
and you weren't the only one.
your gaze fluttered to your best friend, who stood two people away from you, a proud smile crossing your lips even with your nerves consuming you. you weren't the only person who came into the villa with baggage on their shoulders, yet none of you let it stop you. a brief image of you holding her as she cried into your arms flashed through your mind, the sadness and betrayal leaving her a wreck in your makeup room. you'd thought for a moment that it would be the end of your time together, yet you were happy to see her pull through and find happiness in the end.
everyone here had done their absolute best, even with their rights and wrongs, and that thought alone was enough to quell the queasy feeling building up in your stomach.
"alright islanders, it is officially time," the hosts' voice chopped through the nerve-wracking silence with ease, her calm expression giving no hints as to how the end of the night would go. a long sigh escaped your flared nostrils as you closed your eyes, teeth grazing your bottom lip as you forced your emotions to stay in check.
a soft hand turned your attention to your left, air escaping you as you looked up at the man you could truly say you were starting to love. he smirked at you, his own expression laced with playfulness as he tried his best to calm you down. a large grin spread across your face when you felt fingers interlocking with yours, a gentle squeeze giving you all the reassurance you needed to keep yourself grounded for the time being. your breath halted as he leaned down, lips just barely touching the shell of your ear as he whispered to you softly. "we'll be fine, baby."
you pulled away so you could glance into his eyes, a small nod giving him confirmation that you heard what he said. you trust him, probably more than you should.
"it has been a long, hard journey for those of you remaining," your host started, giving a soft smile to each of the islanders standing on the other side of the firepit. "yet, each of you has managed to find a connection here in the villa. although some of you have been through more struggles than others," you could feel the heat rising onto your face when your eyes made direct contact with hers, a snort escaping you as you laughed with the rest of the islanders that you could now call your best friends. "you all have made it to the finals, and are now in the running for the 50,000 dollar prize on the line."
you subconsciously tightened your grip on his hand at the mention of the prize, your body weight shifting from one foot to the other. you wanted to win, wanted that 50,000 so badly so you could finish your schooling without issues. yet, you were content with whatever outcome was prepared for you. in the end, as long as you had him next to you, you would give up the money in a heartbeat.
"since the start of the show, the country has been voting for their favorite love island couple," each word she spoke left your anxiety spiking, your mind begging her to just hurry up and give the results before your heart exploded from suspense. "but now, they have voted for their official love island winner."
you held your breath as you stared at the host, silence taking over the villa as she picked up a small envelope from the couch behind her. you eyed the paper with angst as she peeled it open slowly, reading the results before looking up at the lot of you behind the fire pit.
you watched as her jaw flexed, a breath getting sucked into your mouth as your heart started to beat so fast you thought it would jump out of your chest.
her mouth opened, eyes scanning the crowd before the first words left her lips. "and the winner... of love island is..."
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rafesapologist · 2 days
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strangers ─ drew starkey; ch. 2
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summary: getting casted on outer banks threw you into overnight stardom, and an unforeseeable off-screen romance with one of hollywood's newest and biggest heartthrobs.
warnings: unedited, tension (kind of)
author's note: the info in this story about drew is mostly made up!! some of these scenarios and 'facts' are not things that have happened in real life, this is all merely part of the plot of the story.
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As if the expectations of being cast onto one of the biggest shows wasn't enough, you were in for the surprise of your life when your manager called and told you that the directors wanted you to start spending time off-screen with your soon-to-be co-star.
"They think it'll make the chemistry on the show more believable if you guys get to know each other more in real life," Kendra sighed and you could practically hear her shrug over the phone.
"Okay?" You responded with a subtle temperament in your tone that went ignored by your manager, "I auditioned for the show, not to become some PR stunt for ratings." You rebutted firmly, crossing your arms as if it made your testament any more earnest.
"Not PR, just friends. If you're gonna work with somebody for who knows how long, you need to at least be acquainted with them," she reaffirmed blithely and you could hear her light up another cigarette over the line, as if her raucous smoker's voice wasn't prominent enough already.
"Then what are we supposed to do that doesn't make it look like we're dating? Cause anything we do is gonna draw attention," you asked, pointing out the burning question in your mind. Drew was a rising star in Hollywood, and it didn’t take much for the media to latch onto any spark of gossip, let alone the proximity between two co-stars. You could already imagine the headlines—"New Romance on Set?" or "Chemistry Beyond the Screen?"—flashing across tabloids, fueling rumors neither of you had any control over. The mere thought made your stomach twist, but at the same time, you couldn't deny the pull of curiosity.
"I don’t know, just grab lunch, go over lines, anything normal," Kendra responded with a casualness that felt at odds with the gravity of the situation. "The point is to make you two comfortable around each other, not to stage some fake romance. But hey, if the chemistry works out in your favor, it's not a bad thing, right?" Her tone was light, but you could sense the subtle hint of persuasion.
You bit your lip, considering the reality of it. Drew—charming, talented, and devastatingly handsome—had already made an impression during the audition, and though his professional demeanor had been disarming, you couldn’t ignore the undercurrent of tension that had crackled between you both. But off-screen was a different game altogether, one where your vulnerability wasn’t masked by a script or camera angles. The idea of spending more time with him outside the confines of rehearsals left you feeling exposed in a way you weren’t sure you were ready for.
"Fine, I’ll do it. But if this turns into some media circus, you owe me a long vacation after this project is over," you finally agreed, letting out a deep breath that didn’t quite ease the knot in your chest.
Kendra laughed, the sound raspy yet full of amusement. "Deal. Besides, you never know what might happen. Worst-case scenario, you make a new friend, right?"
But even as you nodded, you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to this arrangement than just bonding over scripts and coffee. Drew's name carried weight, and being linked to him—professionally or otherwise—was bound to stir something bigger than either of you could control. And for a brief moment, you wondered if it was the career boost you’d always needed, or a risk you weren’t prepared to take.
"Alright," Kendra continued, breaking the silence. "I’ll set something up. Keep your schedule open for tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" You almost choked on the word, your pulse quickening at how soon this was all happening.
"Yep. No time like the present." Kendra’s voice was cheerful, almost too cheerful. "You’ve got this, kid. Trust me."
The call ended before you could protest, leaving you standing alone in your apartment, staring at your phone. You sighed, running a hand through your hair as the reality of tomorrow loomed over you. There was no backing out now, no escaping what was already set into motion.
You treaded over to your fridge, the soft hum of it the only sound in your quiet apartment. Pulling out the bottle of sangria you’d been saving for a special occasion—though right now felt more like an emergency—you unscrewed the cap with a small sigh of relief. The deep, ruby liquid swirled into the stemware glass, filling it halfway as you watched the dark red hues glisten under the dim kitchen light.
It wasn’t a celebration, not yet, but it was something—a moment to collect yourself before you plunged headfirst into whatever tomorrow would bring. You took a slow sip, letting the sweet, tangy taste linger on your tongue, savoring the small comfort it provided. The cool glass felt grounding in your hand, a quiet contrast to the chaos spinning in your mind.
With your hands pressed firmly against the cool countertop, your head hung low as you silently questioned how you ended up in this whirlwind of events. The soft buzz of your phone broke the stillness, pulling you back to reality. You glanced at the screen, and there it was—a text from Kendra.
"I talked to Drew’s managers, they said he suggested having lunch tomorrow at 2. I'll have a driver booked for you around 1:30."
Your heart nearly leaped out of your chest, the words sinking in as you scanned the message over and over. Tomorrow. Lunch. With Drew. And with little to no time to prepare, your anxiety came to life, flooding your mind with a thousand what-ifs.
You stood there, staring at your phone, trying to piece together how you were supposed to handle this. Drew seemed perfectly polite at the chemistry read—cordial even—but one-on-one? Would he be the same, or was that all just an act for the directors?
Your mind raced through every worst-case scenario like a rapid-fire slideshow: what if your mind went blank, and you sat there fumbling for words like an awkward mess? What if you somehow got food stuck in your teeth, making a fool of yourself in front of him? Or worse yet, what if he wasn’t the nice guy he seemed to be? What if Drew, the rising star with all that charisma on-screen, turned out to be an arrogant asshole in real life?
The swirling thoughts made your stomach churn as you stood in the quiet of your kitchen, your fingers gripping the counter tighter. It felt like the universe was pulling you into something far beyond your control, leaving you standing on the edge of tomorrow, unprepared and vulnerable.
You gulped down the remainder of your wine, feeling its chill cascade down your throat, sending a fleeting shiver through your chest. The slight buzz gave you a brief surge of energy, enough to momentarily push aside the weight of tomorrow’s uncertainty. In that brief spark of clarity, an idea—unusual but oddly practical—struck you.
Without hesitation, you darted over to the couch, grabbed your laptop, and flipped it open with renewed purpose. The glow of the screen illuminated your face as you typed in the familiar search bar. But your focus wavered for a moment as the homepage tempted you with random recommendations—cooking tutorials, music videos, travel vlogs—each one a distraction you almost fell for.
You shook your head, quickly typing in the search: Drew Starkey.
As soon as you hit enter, the screen flooded with clips of interviews, behind-the-scenes footage, and fan-made compilations of your soon-to-be co-star.. You clicked on the first interview, your heart picking up pace as his face appeared on screen. There he was—laughing, smiling, completely at ease in front of the camera. His presence was magnetic, the same kind of charm you witnessed during the chemistry read, but now you were analyzing him in a different light. You weren’t watching an actor—no, you were trying to get to know the man behind the character.
Each video you watched painted a picture of Drew’s personality, his mannerisms, the way he laughed mid-sentence, his casual but thoughtful way of answering questions. It was easy to see why he’d become such a rising star. He had that effortless charisma that made him seem approachable yet untouchable all at once.
As you watched one of his MTV interviews, something about a particular one shifted your perspective. Drew was talking about his methods for diving into a character—how he found little pieces of himself in each role and let that guide his performance. But it wasn’t just the professional insight that caught your attention; it was the casual, almost vulnerable tone of his voice as he spoke about his life beyond acting.
He talked about college, how he had balanced classes and part-time jobs, how uncertain he’d felt back then—just like anyone else trying to figure out their future. He laughed about the odd jobs he worked before landing his first big role, like waiting tables and doing temp work. It was such a stark contrast to the larger-than-life persona the media often painted around actors. In that moment, Drew wasn’t just the rising star you'd auditioned with; he was a regular guy who had worked hard to get where he was.
Suddenly, the looming anxiety of tomorrow’s lunch didn’t seem as unbearable. If anything, the idea of talking to him felt almost comforting. You realized he was probably more grounded than you gave him credit for—despite the fame, despite the rising spotlight. It was refreshing, and it put a part of your mind at ease. You’d been so caught up in the idea of him as a powerful actor, you hadn’t considered that, like you, he might just be navigating this career with a sense of uncertainty, too.
You closed the laptop and leaned back, exhaling a long breath. Maybe tomorrow would be more casual than you imagined—just two people talking, finding their rhythm, building that off-screen chemistry in the same way you had in front of the directors. For the first time, the thought of sitting across from Drew didn’t feel like a storm waiting to hit. Instead, it felt manageable. And maybe, just maybe, it would even be enjoyable.
︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶
“Seriously, Kendra, what should I wear?” you huffed, your phone perched precariously on the edge of your bed as you sifted through the chaos of your closet. Fabrics of every texture spilled over your arms as you frantically flipped through hangers, eyeing each piece with increasing frustration. Nothing felt right. You didn’t want to come off like you’d tried too hard, but showing up looking too casual to lunch with Drew Starkey didn’t feel right either.
“It’s just lunch, Y/N,” Kendra's voice came through the phone, nonchalant and steady as usual. “Just dress like you normally would. No need to overthink it.”
You paused, clutching an emerald green blouse in one hand, a simple beige sundress in the other. “But what if I show up looking like a total slob, or worse, like I’m trying too hard? I don’t want him to think I’m one of those actors.”
Kendra sighed on the other end, and you could practically see her lighting another cigarette in her usual blasé way. “Look, you already met him. He’s seen you act. It’s not a pageant, it’s lunch. Just wear something you feel comfortable in and go be yourself. You’ve already impressed him—trust me, your wardrobe is the least of anyone’s concerns.”
She made it sound so simple, but the weight of it all still sat heavy on your chest. You weren’t just meeting up with Drew Starkey; you were being thrown into this situation with someone whose presence alone had enough gravity to throw you off balance. Even though he’d been polite, kind, even reassuring at the chemistry read, today felt different. More personal, more exposed. What if you said the wrong thing? Or worse, what if there was nothing to say at all?
Your eyes landed on the black sundress, a light fabric that flowed in all the right ways—comfortable, but still enough to make you feel put-together. You plucked it off the hanger and held it up in front of the mirror, examining its soft, understated elegance.
“Okay, okay, I think I found something,” you said, exhaling a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. “A sundress. It’s casual, right?”
“Perfect,” Kendra replied, almost as if she wasn’t really paying attention. “Remember, Y/N, this is supposed to be easy. You’re overthinking it. Just go, have lunch, talk. You’ve got nothing to prove to him—you’re already Maisy.”
You nodded at her words, trying to absorb her confidence. “Yeah, I know… You’re right. I’ll text you after, okay?”
“Good luck, kid. Don’t sweat it.”
The call ended, leaving you alone with your thoughts. The room suddenly felt too quiet, and you found yourself staring at the sundress again, smoothing out the wrinkles. Kendra was right—this wasn’t an audition, not anymore. It was just lunch. But the thought of being alone with Drew Starkey for more than five minutes made your stomach flutter with anticipation.
It was already 1:30 before you knew it, and the driver was waiting outside your apartment complex just as Kendra had promised. You stood in front of the mirror, staring at your reflection, the black sundress clinging to your figure in a way that made you feel both presentable and oddly exposed. The sun streamed in through the windows, casting golden streaks across the floor, but all you could feel was the thrum of nervous energy buzzing through your veins.
You took a deep breath, throwing your bag over your shoulder as you prepared to step out the door. But just as your hand touched the doorknob, an impulse hit you, a wild flicker of hesitation. One more thing, you thought, as if something—anything—could make the looming lunch with Drew feel more manageable.
Without a second thought, you turned back and hurried over to the fridge. The cold hum of the appliance felt almost calming as you pulled out a bottle of liquor, the glass cool beneath your fingers. You reached for the shot glass on the counter, the one you hadn’t touched in weeks, and quickly poured yourself a small measure of liquid courage.
With a swift motion you knocked back the shot. The bitter burn hit your throat like fire, and you winced as it traveled down your chest, leaving a searing heat in its wake. The burn did nothing to dull the nervous energy that coiled in your stomach, but it brought with it a flash of warmth—maybe just enough to get you out the door.
You set the glass down with a clink, exhaling sharply. Okay. Just get this over with.
The city noise hummed in the background as you locked the door behind you, your heels clicking softly against the floor as you descended the stairs. By the time you stepped outside, the black SUV was already waiting, sleek and ominous, like a portal to the unknown. The driver glanced up at you from his phone, offering a quick nod as you approached.
This was it. You were about to spend the next hour or so sitting across from Drew Starkey, face to face, with no script to guide you. Just conversation—easy, simple conversation. You repeated the words like a mantra in your mind as the driver opened the door for you, and you slid into the backseat.
The drive to the coffee shop felt like a blur, as though time had folded in on itself. Twenty minutes passed in what felt like mere moments, your mind a carousel of spiraling thoughts. Each new scenario played out in flashes—awkward silences, fumbling over your words, or worse, making a terrible first impression. You barely noticed the city streets, the buildings slipping by as your pulse quickened.
Before you knew it, the car slowed to a stop. You glanced out the window and felt a jolt in your chest—the café stood before you, quaint and modern with wide, floor-to-ceiling windows that seemed to strip away all your defenses. You could already imagine Drew inside, perhaps sipping on his coffee, glancing up to see you through the glass. The thought made your stomach flip.
Your driver stepped out and came around to open the door for you, his gentle nod barely registering as you mumbled a quiet "thank you" and handed him a tip. As your feet touched the ground, the sunlight was warmer than you'd anticipated, but it did nothing to chase away the cold wave of anxiety coursing through your veins.
You stood there for a moment, frozen in place as you stared at the entrance of the shop. The cheerful chatter and soft clinking of cups inside only heightened your nerves. You could feel your heart beating harder, faster, each step toward the door a battle against your own hesitation.
He’s just a person, you reminded yourself, trying to quell the panic rising in your throat. But it didn’t feel that simple. Drew Starkey, with his effortless charm and natural presence, was far from just a person in your eyes. This wasn’t a screen test or a scripted scene; this was real, and the vulnerability of it all felt like stepping into a spotlight with no lines to recite.
Taking a deep breath, you smoothed down the front of your dress, squaring your shoulders as you approached the door. The reflection in the glass showed a version of yourself that seemed far more composed than you felt inside.
The moment you stepped through the door, it hit you—a wave of vulnerability like never before. The cozy warmth of the café felt stifling, too intimate, too exposing. Every eye seemed like it could be on you, but none more so than the one pair you hadn’t yet found. Your heart thudded in your chest, your breath quickened as your gaze darted around the room, desperate for a familiar face.
Heat flooded your cheeks, and you prayed Drew hadn’t noticed your awkward search. You fidgeted with your purse, shifting it from one shoulder to the other in a vain attempt to appear more casual, less like a deer caught in headlights. Your arms instinctively crossed in front of you, a small shield against the sudden discomfort that surged through your veins.
Your eyes swept over the café, landing on tables filled with groups of friends, couples huddled in cozy corners, and lone patrons with their noses in books or laptops. And then—thank God—there he was. A tall figure with broad shoulders, his back to the door, sitting by the window.
Drew.
Relief rushed through you, as if finding him tethered you back to reality. He was alone, his posture relaxed, almost casual, as if this was just another day for him. You took a slow breath, allowing yourself a second to gather what remained of your composure. The butterflies in your stomach still fluttered, but at least now you had a destination, a focus that made the swirling anxieties just a little more bearable.
With as much confidence as you could muster, you made your way toward him, every step feeling like it stretched on forever.
"Hi," you greeted softly, your voice barely above a whisper as you approached the table. You pulled out the chair opposite him, your nerves fluttering beneath your skin. "Thanks for taking the time to do this. I know you're probably super busy." The words left your lips with a quiet, breathy chuckle, an attempt to mask the awkwardness that clung to you like a shadow.
Drew looked up from his coffee, his eyes warm and inviting, as if to assure you that there was no need for nerves. A soft smile tugged at his lips, and he shook his head. "Actually, I have this week off before we start filming season 4," he explained with an easy laugh, his thumbs tracing the rim of his cup absentmindedly. "I needed to get out of the house anyway."
You laughed softly at his comment, reaching for one of the menus to give yourself a brief moment of reprieve from his gaze. Drew straightened in his chair, the subtle movement drawing your attention just before he cleared his throat.
“So, how did you get into acting?” His question was direct, almost startlingly so, his eyes fixed on you in a way that made you feel suddenly seen—too seen. You weren’t used to such earnestness from someone you'd only just met, but in a way, it was a relief. At least he wasn’t skirting around small talk.
You shifted in your seat, caught off guard by his boldness, but grateful all the same. "Uh, well..." You started, your fingers tightening around the menu. "I was in college for a while, studying psychology, but..." You hesitated, glancing down as if the table could offer some solace. Opening up so quickly wasn’t something you were accustomed to, especially with someone like him. Still, there was something disarming in the way he listened, waiting for you to continue.
"It didn’t feel right," you confessed quietly, your voice softening. "I always had this dream of becoming an actress, ever since I was a kid. So, eventually, I just... dropped out and moved to L.A." You let the words hang there, reluctant but honest. You weren’t sure why you felt the need to lay your cards on the table like this, but it seemed to happen naturally with him in that moment.
Drew’s gaze never wavered from you, his attention unwavering in a way that both flattered and unnerved you. You weren’t used to being the center of someone’s focus like this, especially not someone with his kind of presence. But his expression was kind, reassuring even, and you found some comfort in that.
“There’s no shame in that,” he said with a gentle shrug, his voice warm and understanding. “I took acting in college, but if I had done anything else, I probably would’ve left, too.”
His words brought a flicker of relief to your chest, causing you to sit up a bit straighter. You tilted your head slightly, your eyes tracing over his face, searching for any trace of insincerity but finding none.
“Really?” you asked, a light chuckle escaping your lips. “I don’t think my school even offered that.” You tugged at your bottom lip for a moment, a nervous habit you hadn’t realized you were doing until now. “Besides, I couldn’t have done that anyway. I only went to school because my parents wanted me to. I was basically just trying to make them proud.”
Your confession came out more candidly than you intended, but in the quiet of the café and under Drew’s steady gaze, it felt natural to share. For a moment, you expected him to change the subject, to keep things surface-level, but instead, he continued to pry.
"How did they feel when you came to L.A. to act?"
Your eyes widened slightly at his question, taken aback by his curiosity. It was such a personal, almost mundane topic, yet he was genuinely interested. "They were… wary about it," you replied, your gaze drifting down to the table as you absently picked at your nails. "But they told me they’d support whatever I wanted to do. Though, I’m pretty sure they thought I wouldn’t make it very far, deep down."
You laughed softly, the sound half-hearted, as if trying to ease the seriousness of your own words. You didn’t want to come off as too open or vulnerable so soon, but there was something about his attention that made it difficult to hold back.
Drew didn’t look away. His focus on you never wavered, the intensity of his gaze somehow soft yet unrelenting, making you feel both exposed and heard.
"That’s tough," he murmured, his voice low and reflective. "It’s hard enough chasing something you love, but doing it without knowing if the people who matter most really believe in you… that’s even harder."
His words surprised you. Most people would brush off a confession like that or try to lighten the mood, but Drew leaned in, showing a depth of understanding that made you pause. You glanced back up at him, searching his expression. He wasn’t offering empty sympathy. It was like he genuinely got it.
“Yeah,” you responded quietly, nodding in agreement, “I guess I’ve always had that in the back of my mind, like this little voice telling me I need to prove something.” You hesitated, wondering if you should go deeper, but there was something safe in the atmosphere between you two. “I think that’s why landing this role means so much. It’s not just for me—it’s to show them I wasn’t wrong for following my gut.”
A silence settled between you both after that, but it wasn’t awkward. It felt purposeful, like both of you were letting the weight of your words sink in.
Drew gave a small smile, one that seemed to reach his eyes, softening the intensity of his stare. "Well, I think you’ve already proven that. You nailed the audition, and now here we are. You’re here for a reason."
For a moment, the two of you sat there, enduring a silence that wasn’t awkward, but the tension felt almost suffocating. Drew's gaze lingered on you, so intense that it felt like it was burning through you. Heat rose to your cheeks as his blue eyes seemed to analyze every inch of your face. You wondered if he was searching for flaws, or maybe even finding them. You felt small under his stare, like you wanted to say something to break the tension, but the words wouldn’t come. You were simply speechless under his trance.
"Have you ever taken a role like this?" Drew suddenly asked, breaking the silence as he took a sip of his coffee.
You blinked, momentarily thrown off by the question. "What do you mean?"
"Like playing a love interest," he clarified, his voice calm, almost too casual for the depth of his question. "Have you done that before?"
Your brows furrowed slightly as you processed his words, feeling the weight of them sink in. "No, not really," you replied slowly, your voice quiet but steady. "I’ve done smaller roles, but nothing like this. It’s… new for me."
Drew’s eyes softened, his expression shifting from curiosity to understanding. He nodded as if he expected that answer, but the way he watched you made it clear he wasn’t just asking about acting. There was something deeper to the question, a vulnerability you couldn’t quite place.
"That’s interesting," he said, leaning back in his chair, his gaze never leaving you. "Because it doesn’t seem like it. You handle it like a natural."
His words caught you off guard, the compliment landing heavier than you anticipated. For a second, you weren’t sure if he was still talking about the role or about something else entirely. The air between you thickened again, the tension suffocating, though not entirely uncomfortable. It was the kind of tension that made your heart race, the kind that left you wondering where the line between professional and personal blurred.
"Thanks," you murmured, trying to shake off the growing heat in your chest. You didn’t trust yourself to say more. You could still feel his eyes on you, studying your reaction, and it made your pulse quicken.
“It can be intimidating at first,” he admitted, his tone reassuring as he leaned slightly forward, elbows resting on the table. There was a sincerity in his voice that made you feel at ease, a stark contrast to the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. “But I’ll make sure you’re always comfortable. They can write some pretty crazy plot lines in there, so just let me know if you ever feel uncomfortable doing a scene. I’ll talk to Jonah if I have to.”
His words hit you suddenly, unexpected in their warmth and assertiveness. You paused, lips pursed in contemplation, trying to grasp the significance of his commitment to protect you from any overwhelming scenes. The air between you seemed to thicken with unspoken understanding as you wondered if this was the kind of guy he was towards everyone—protective and kind—or if this consideration was reserved solely for you, his co-star.
Regardless of the reason, you felt flattered, a soft blush creeping to your cheeks as a sense of security enveloped you, wrapping around you like a soft blanket. His presence across the table offered a calming reassurance that you hadn’t anticipated.
“Oh, well thank you,” you finally replied, sincerity coloring your voice. “Nobody has ever done that for me.”
There was a moment of silence, and in it, you could see a flicker of understanding pass between you—a shared acknowledgment of what was ahead. His blue eyes held yours with an intensity that made your heart race, as if he was searching for something deeper within you.
“It’s important,” he said softly, his tone earnest. “Acting can be raw and vulnerable. It’s easy to get lost in it all, especially when the emotions run high. I just want to make sure you feel safe.”
You nodded, a swirl of emotions churning within you as you searched for the right words. The moment felt fragile, hanging delicately in the air between you, and you didn’t want to shatter it with any misstep. Yet, the intensity of his demeanor made you feel small and nervous, as if the weight of his gaze was both exhilarating and suffocating.
Breathless, you sat across from him, the man who was still practically a stranger, yet in this moment, it felt as if you had known him for years. There was a strange familiarity in the way he looked at you, a connection that ran deeper than surface-level pleasantries.
“Thank you, Drew,” you finally managed to say, your voice softer than you intended, tinged with sincerity.
His smile widened, a warm and genuine expression that sent a flutter through your chest. “Of course. I’d be happy to do that for you,” he admitted, softly biting down on his bottom lip as his eyes flickered between yours and your lips, as if caught in a moment of contemplation. It was a fleeting look, but it made your heart race, igniting a mix of anticipation and curiosity within you.
“And I’m sure the rest of the cast will do the same. They’re great to work with,” he added, taking it upon himself to shift the mood, straightening his posture as if shedding the weight of the moment. You couldn’t help but feel a tinge of disappointment at the change in direction, yet a part of you understood the necessity of pacing yourself. Maybe diving too deep too soon was better left for later.
“Yeah, I’ve heard great things about them. I’m excited to meet them next,” you replied, attempting to mask your intrigue with enthusiasm.
Drew nodded, his expression brightening as he spoke about the cast. “You’ll love them. We all hang out outside of filming too. It’s like a little family, you know? Makes the long hours much more bearable.”
You giggled slightly at his comment, a lightness in your chest blooming as you absorbed the warmth of his enthusiasm. “Well, I’m honored to now be a part of it,” you joked back, a playful lilt in your voice.
Drew’s eyes sparkled at your smile, the corners of his lips curving upward in a genuine grin that seemed to radiate joy. It was as if your lightheartedness sparked something within him, and for a brief moment, the café around you faded into a backdrop.
“I think you’ll fit right in,” he replied, his tone sincere and warm, and you could sense the unspoken camaraderie beginning to take root between you. It felt refreshing, as if he was offering a piece of reassurance that made going ahead seem a little less daunting.
You felt a surge of confidence at the playfulness in his tone, fueling the conversation further. “And what makes you so sure of that?” you teased, a hint of mischief in your voice, as if daring him to justify his statement.
Drew’s tongue grazed across his teeth as he pondered your question, his blue eyes narrowing slightly in thought. The pause between you was brief, yet charged with a subtle tension, the kind that comes when two people are testing the boundaries of familiarity. His gaze locked onto yours, and for a moment, you felt as though he could see right through you.
“You just seem like a likable person,” he replied, his voice soft yet confident, the corners of his mouth lifting in a sly smile. His tone was earnest, but there was something about the way he said it that made your pulse quicken—like he knew more than he was letting on, like he could already sense there was more to you than what lay on the surface.
You couldn’t help but smirk, leaning slightly forward as if to match his energy. “Is that your professional actor assessment?” you quipped, raising a brow, trying to mask the flutter in your chest with humor.
His grin widened as if your playful retort amused him. “Maybe,” he shrugged, leaning back in his chair, completely relaxed yet fully engaged. “Or maybe I’m just good at reading people.” His eyes glimmered with something more—an invitation, perhaps, to challenge him further.
Your heart raced slightly as you matched his stare, the game between you intensifying without either of you needing to acknowledge it. You felt emboldened by the easy rapport, as though you could push the conversation anywhere, and it would still feel natural, still flow effortlessly. There was something refreshing about it, and it left you wanting to keep the banter going just a little longer.
“Well, you could be wrong, you know,” you shot back, your voice lilting with amusement. “I could be the least likable person you’ve ever met, and you wouldn’t even know it yet.”
Drew chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Somehow, I seriously doubt that,” he said, his tone low and smooth, leaving just enough mystery in his words to keep you guessing.
“I guess we’ll have to see,” you shrugged nonchalantly, playing into the lighthearted banter. Drew’s eyes sparkled with amusement, as if your coy responses were entertaining him in a way you hadn’t anticipated. Despite the casual nature of the conversation, there was something in the air between you that made it feel deeper, more charged.
He leaned in slightly over the table, his body angled toward you, his presence suddenly filling the small space between you. “You know,” he began, his tone shifting to something a little more serious, yet still playful, “if we’re going to be working so closely together, why don’t we start hanging out more? It’ll make everything on-screen more believable.”
His suggestion hung in the air, sending your mind reeling. Your initial instinct was to question it—was this about the job or something more? His words seemed casual, but the way he looked at you now, with a sincerity that felt more personal than professional, told you there might be another layer to his offer.
You tilted your head slightly, trying to read him, your lips curling into a small smile. “You think so?” you asked, your voice soft but teasing, leaning just enough into the moment to keep things light, while still acknowledging the subtle tension between you.
Drew’s gaze didn’t falter. “Yeah,” he nodded, his smile widening. “The better we know each other, the easier it’ll be to build that connection on-screen.” He paused for a second, watching your reaction, and then added with a smirk, “Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to get to know you a little better off-screen too.”
Your heart fluttered at his words, and you couldn’t help but smile back, trying to keep your cool. You glanced down at your hands for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “I guess that makes sense,” you replied, your voice light and playful, though you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks.
The suggestion seemed innocent enough on the surface, but the underlying implications—the chance to spend more time together, to see if this chemistry extended beyond the lines you’d be reading—made your pulse race just a little faster.
“Alright,” you said, leaning back in your chair with a shrug, pretending to be more nonchalant than you felt. “Let’s give it a try. See if we can make this whole thing more believable.”
Drew smiled in agreement, his eyes lighting up with a warmth that seemed to settle the tension between you. He opened his mouth, about to say something more, but was interrupted by the soft buzz of his phone lighting up with a text. He glanced down at it briefly before shifting his attention back to you, his smile still faint but genuine.
“It’s been nice getting to know you a little more. I really enjoyed this,” he admitted, his voice sincere. You noticed his gaze flicker toward the window, as though he was checking for something or someone, before returning to you. “Why don’t I give you my number so we can plan something soon?”
Your heart skipped at the casual offer, but you maintained your composure, feeling the air between you both shift into something more comfortable, yet still charged with potential. “Yeah, that sounds good,” you replied with a small smile, trying to keep things light despite the slight flutter in your chest.
Drew pulled out his phone, tapping on the screen before handing it over to you. You quickly typed in your number, handing it back to him, your fingers brushing briefly as you exchanged devices.
“Great,” he said, locking the phone and slipping it back into his pocket, his smile widening. “I’ll text you later, and we can figure something out. Maybe something less... formal,” he added with a playful wink, a hint of amusement in his eyes.
You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Sounds like a plan.”
"I'll see you later, Y/N." Drew’s voice was soft, still carrying that same warmth and kindness that had made you feel so at ease throughout the afternoon. He offered you one last smile before gathering his belongings and heading toward the door.
You watched him as he stepped outside, the sunlight casting a soft glow on him as he made his way to the black SUV parked out front. There was something effortlessly graceful about the way he moved, the casualness of it, yet it left you with a feeling of weightlessness. The butterflies in your stomach fluttered as you saw him disappear into the car, the sound of the engine starting up almost muted by the rush of your thoughts.
The café around you sounded with the usual hum of life, but your mind was far from the present moment. Instead, it replayed every detail of the past hour—the way he had smiled at you, the easy flow of conversation, the unspoken connection that had blossomed between the two of you. You could still feel the warmth of his gaze, the way it made you feel seen in a way that felt both exhilarating and unsettling.
As you sat there, a small smile crept onto your lips. The butterflies in your chest wouldn’t settle, and you weren’t entirely sure if you wanted them to. Something about today had changed things, and as you grabbed your bag and stood up to leave, you realized the anticipation for whatever came next was already beginning to build.
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lena-in-a-red-dress · 18 hours
Text
Musician Age Gap AU Pt 19
Lena gives Kara the right of way, and lets herself be led into the kitchen. When they enter the room, Kelly and Alex straighten at the sight of them, while Esme remains focused on pawing thru the fridge for the elusive cider.
Kelly's gaze remains gentle and perceptive-- Kara sees her focus dip to their joined hands before sliding to her wife. Alex, meanwhile, is scrutiny incarnate, her gaze hard as she scans Lena imperiously.
"Hi," Lena says quietly.
"Hi Lena," Kelly returns easily. "I'm glad you could come."
Lena relaxes a little. "Me too. Thank you for having me. You have a lovely home."
"Probably not what you're used to," Alex says, her tone carefully neutral. Kara spots Kelly's grip tightening in warning around Alex's hand.
"It's been a while since I've been home," Lena allows. "So this is a nice change of pace, for sure."
"Oh? Where do you live?"
"I split my time between Metropolis and Star City when I'm not on tour," Lena replies easily enough. "But of the two I consider Metropolis more my home. I grew up there."
"I didn't know that," Kara says.
"Mhmmm," Lena hums. "We in the city most of the year because of my brother's band. When they weren't performing, they were auditioning, so it was just easier to live there full time."
"You have a brother?" Esme says, perking up.
Kara feels Lena tense a little, suddenly realizing she might have shared too much. But it's too late to back pedal.
"We're not in touch anymore."
Sensing Lena's discomfort, Esme thankfully doesn't pry any further. Kelly keeps the silence from stretching too far.
"Well, we happy to have you. We figured you could share the guest room with Kara--"
"Or you can take the couch," Alex inserts. She studies Lena for a reaction, but Kara comes to her rescue.
"With me is fine," she says. "Unless you all fall asleep to the witchy thing--"
"Hexed! Mom, Lena watches Hexed!"
Finally, Alex relents, her posture sagging a little as she lets her guard down. "Then she's got good taste."
"She's got a crush on Samantha Arias," Kelly whispers theatrically.
Kara barks a laugh as Alex splutters indignantly. "I do not!"
"Do too!" Esme joins in the teasing.
"Don't worry, baby," Kelly assures her wife playfully. "She's on my hall pass too."
That makes Alex stop. "She is?"
Kara opens her mouth to mention having met Sam, but Lena nudges her sharply. She looks over and clicks her mouth shut when Lena gives her a look that says 'not now'.
"Well," Kelly says, even as Alex still gawks at her, "looks like we need to stock up on cider and spooky snacks, so why don't we head to the store while you two settle in?"
It's not the most subtle segue, but Kara is grateful for a chance to talk with Lena privately. Once Esme is shuttled off into the car, Alex gives them one last hard look before closing and locking the front door behind her.
Lena sighs. "Well, that went better than I expected."
"It helps that Esme's your biggest fan," Kara offers with a wry grin. Then she sighs. "Let's sit."
Lena nods, and they sit on opposite ends of the couch, orienting themselves to face each other. Lena looks nervous, and though Kara's first instinct is to ease that, she holds back. What was it that Kelly had said? Growing pains.
"Those pictures sucked to see, Lena," Kara says carefully. "I understand they were outside your control, but... it still hurt."
"I know. I just-- don't know how I can fix it. Like I said... it comes with the job. I signed up for it... but you didn't. I get that."
Lena sounds miserable, and looks it too. But Kara doesnt have any more ideas than Lena does.
"Maybe being with you means signing up for it," Kara allows, thinking out loud. "But what happens when I start being part of the scandal. What happens to Esme?"
Swallowing thickly, Lena lifts a helpless shoulder. "I don't know."
"Me neither. But it's something I have to consider." Kara slumps further into the cushion. "Also, I-- I don't know where I stand with you."
Concern flashed across Lena's features. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No, but... I'm in your court, Lena. I'm... an intruder. And I care enough about you that when I see something concerning, I want to ask about you, but.... I don't know if I'm allowed to."
"You can ask me anything," Lena says.
"Okay." Kara meets her gaze and holds her. "Why didn't you want to meet with Morgan Edge alone?"
Lena's cheeks lose all color in an instant. Her entire body seems too lock, her hands clasped in a white knuckled grip.
"I don't expect an answer," Kara says quietly. "But that's what I mean. I don't feel like I have the right to ask about this. And I suspect plenty of other subjects will make me feel the same way."
Lena stares at her, eyes wide. Kara reaches out to clasp her wrist, but Lena pulls away. Hurt lances through Kara's chest, but the tight sound of Lena's breathing concerns her more.
"Lena--?"
"What else," Lena croaks.
Kara hesitates. "Lena..."
"What. Else."
Taking a deep breath, Kara carefully forges ahead. "We started this content to simply see where it goes. Do you still feel that way?"
Lena doesn't respond.
"Because it doesn't feel casual anymore. Joining you on tour was certainly impulsive, but it wasn't casual. I thrust myself into your life, and you invited me to, but... I can't really bring you into mine, can I?"
"I'm here now," Lena says, voice tight.
Kara nods. "And I'm grateful for that. But... you wouldn't be able to go to the store with Esme to get cider. Or even take a walk around the block."
Lena releases a short breath. "No. Not without putting her in danger."
"I know you would welcome Esme into your world as warmly as you welcomed me. But for her it would be temporary. For me, if I choose this, it would be permanent, and complete."
She watches Lena inhale again as though to speak, but she doesn't.
"I don't think we'll find a solution before the others get back," Kara continues. "But I wanted you to know where I'm at. What I have to think about."
Lena nods. "I understand. Thank you."
Finally, she meets Kara's gaze. A small smile, but it and the glint in her eyes are sad. She swallows several times before she's able to speak again.
"Can I... do you mind if I take a minute before the others get back?"
Kara nods readily. "Of course."
Lena rises stiffly, then retreats to the powder room, closing the door quietly behind her.
Tears burn at Kara's own eyes, but relief overwhelms them. Relief that the unspoken burden of worry and uncertainty that has been weighing on her, has now lifted in the speaking of it. Perhaps it's selfish of her to now make her concerns now Lena's burden as well, but... would it have been fair to either of them to keep it to herself?
By the time Alex's car pulls back into the driveway a few minutes later, Kara's hands stop trembling, and Lena re-emerges with clear eyes. Their eyes catch as the front door opens, and Lena offers a reassuring nod: whatever happens next, it won't affect tonight.
True to Lena's unspoken promise, the evening proceeds without a hitch. She gamely weathers Esme's velcro presence, listening with interest as she rambles about school gossip and the boy she likes in her history class. And after dinner, they watch Sam bewitch and enchant on screen while munching on sweet snacks and sipping cider out of mugs shaped like skulls and cats and candy corn.
That night, however, the air grows taut between them the moment the guest room door shuts.
"I can take the couch," Lena murmurs.
Kara pauses. "Do you want to?"
Lena shrugs. "No. But I don't want to make you uncomfortable--"
"Hey," Kara interrupts softly. She closes the space between them. "What we talked about today came from a place of love. It hasn't made me uncomfortable." She hesitates. "Has it made you uncomfortable?"
"I mean... a little. I don't like uncertainty, much. And with us in a gray area, I don't know what's... appropriate."
Kara smiles. "Sharing a bed can be as appropriate as we want it to be."
"Kara..."
"I plan to sleep on the right side, fully pajama'd. I don't figure we need to make things any less certain than that."
Lena chuckles in spite of herself, but isn't quite convinced. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure," Kara assures her.
Finally, she gets a small sigh of resignation. "Okay."
Kara's efforts are enough to banish the tension for a few minutes, but it comes back in full force once they crawl under the blankets. They face away from each other, but Kara can feel the stiffness in Lena's frame, a tension that takes root in her own limbs.
It lasts for several long silent minutes before Kara speaks up.
"You know I wouldn't have said anything, if I didn't care. Right?"
Lena sniffles. "I know."
---
The next morning, Lena lingers long enough to have breakfast with Esme and see her off to school. Once she clears her dishes, Lena collects her overnight bag and offers Kelly and Alex a soft smile.
"Thank you for having me," she says.
"Our pleasure," Kelly returns. "Thank you for coming. I know it was a long trip, and it meant the world to Esme."
"She's wonderful, truly. You've raised an amazing person."
Kara escorts Lena to the driveway. Once Lena stows her bag in the back seat, she turns back to Kara with soft, sad eyes.
"You're not coming back, are you."
Somehow, Lena saying it first makes it easier for Kara to concede. She shakes her head. "No. I don't think so."
"And us?"
Kara takes Lena's hand in hers, and Lena twines their fingers together.
"I care about you too much," Kara says, "to do this halfway."
Lena anxiously rocks on the balls of her feet, lips pulling against burgeoning tears. "Yeah." She manages to meet Kara's gaze. "So, back to normal life?"
"Ehhhhh...." Kara hedges. "The fact I dropped my job the first chance I got is a clue I might not like it very much. Maybe I'll look for something I'm more passionate about."
That brings beaming smile to Lena's face. "That sounds like a great idea. You deserve to find... whatever you're looking for."
Kara lifts her hand, cupping Lena's cheek. "And you, Lena Luthor, are stronger than you think. You deserve to work with people you trust."
She hopes Lena understands her meaning, and from the stunned half-open set of her mouth, Kara suspects she does.
Kara leans in one last time, kissing the corner of Lena's mouth. "Thank you, Lena. For everything."
Lena nods against her. "You too, Kara."
And then Kara watches Lena climb behind the wheel and carefully drive away. As she stares at the winking tail lights, even though her chest aches and her eyes burn, she can't help but feel as though a brand new life is just waiting to unfold.
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lotuseye · 2 days
Text
better call higuruma!
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he left her his number for emergencies. getting arrested was an emergency, right?
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word   count:   8,534.
genre:   one-shot.
characters:   hiromi higuruma & paralegal assistant.
notes:  this is it, the most voted request from the poll. higuruma gets called by his sweet assistant in three in the morning from a police station. pwp. kind of an age gap, considering higuruma is in his late thirties and the reader is in mid twenties. smut smut smut. hiromi is a sweetheart. long fic. office spice. if you liked it please let me know in the replies, likes and reblogs are always welcome <3
good lord, it had to have been a crime, to be that goddamn electric.
the man, the myth, the legend. the empty office next to his has been the precious prize that decorated the ambitious dreams of all the seniors, all the fresh graduates - not because it had the reputation of being the most humane working conditions alongside the fattest paycheck in the midst of the firms who even refused to pay at all ( paying with experience unfortunately didn't cover anybodies rent, these days ) but because hiromi higuruma was all their aspirations and their dreams combined. standing for justice, standing for what was fair and right, standing for the wrongfully convicted, he was a breath of fresh air to the small group in the law school that really came for ideals bigger than an overflowing wallet or wearing sharp suits to pretend they are harvey specter.
all that, and also he was so fucking hot, there wasn't a single person that would manage to sit on that desk without daydreaming about being bent over it.
“ girl, that boss of yours, i'm telling you - if i was you i'd suck that man dry. ”
“ honestly, what are you even doing in that office? go drop a pencil in front of him or something! this is embarrassing. you are embarrassing. ”
“ shut up, ” she grumbles, managing to hit both of her friends with the same pillow as her face burns red. she had been muttering the same thirsty, unhinged comments with them under her breath a month ago but she wasn't his assistant back then and there had been no reality to it whatsoever. now, the depth of the water had risen. the stakes were simply not the same. “ it's easy for you to talk, you don't look him in the eye all day. ” she reminds them, to which they reply with a series of groans and rolled eyes, disappointment and disbelief clear on beautiful features. “ besides, ” she continues. “ i'm not stupid enough to fuck my boss and lose the best assistant paycheck in town. do you know how much electricity costs? water? heating? ”
“ fine, fine. don't fuck him then. ” one of them relents eventually, to lay on her stomach on the bed with a devilish grin, hands tucked under her chin. “ head don't count, though... ”
“ girl! ”
****
she only wishes she was blessed with enough fortitude to keep her thoughts on the same track, because as higuruma tries to explain the concept of an appeal to an agitated client of his, all she can do is watch him from her desk with her cheek rested atop her palm, every single task of the day flees from her, but how could it be her fault when he was standing with his hip rested against the edge of his oak desk, sleeves of his expensive shirt rolled up to his elbows, revealing toned forearms. so unabashed, she feels like a victorian man seeing the ankles of a woman for the first time and nearing comatose for it.
“ hey, ” like he heard her thoughts, he calls, head tilting to catch the glimpse of the poor new grad that sits idle in her desk, who almost jumps in the office chair with how caught off guard she is, immediately fixing her posture. currently not paying any attention to the way she stumbles on her response, he makes the gesture of a pen and paper as he continues nod alongside to whatever the client is saying at the other end of the line. “ mhm, i see. the thing is, an appeal does not guarantee the withdrawal of the verdict... ”
she grabs the first pen she could get her hands on on her desk, half running to his office across the narrow hallway that separates them with open doors, thin heels clicking sharply against white polished marble. he presses the receiver of the phone to his shoulder when as she delivers the pen, offering a small smile & mouthing a thank you as he quickly returns to noting whatever he was trying to explain to the client. she attempts to return to her own working quarters, but he stops her with the simple motion of raising a hand, then gesturing kindly to the leather chair in front of his desk. she fixes the hem of her pencil skirt, clearing her throat as she sits down. higuruma remains on the phone, and she quietly glances around his office.
she's been here very briefly a few times, but as she started around a month ago she still hadn't found the chance to get familiar with her work space. this seemed like a good opportunity, a pastime as she waited for him to finish up. his office was neater than the rest of the spaces she's seen so far, paperwork kept neatly tucked in folders that had tags on them, books cleaned and tasteful desk spotless. it was old-school, everything about it, from the rust color of the walls to the choice of chairs & coffee table, but it had a certain vibe to it.
“ sorry about that, ” she doesn't realize that he hangs up until he speaks, snapping her gaze back to find him settling back on his cream colored chair with a kind smile plastered on his face. “ i just wanted to check in with you for the next week. have i told you that i won't be here yet? i'm entrusting you with the office, you don't gotta cover everything - just delay clients till' my return and keep at your daily tasks, alright? ”
he won't be here the next week, and she's blinking, slightly panicking over the fact that she is in the stage of her new job where she relies on him to teach her the way he operates. “ of course, sir, " she says still, unwilling to be a monument of failure in front of the only man she so desperately wishes to impress, so desperately admires. “ i'll make sure it all runs smoothly. ”
“ you'll do great, sweetheart. fix the long face. ” he says with a bantering gleam in his storm of eyes, and she nods, attempting not to sigh like she wants to every time he calls her one of the things he seems to like to call her - sweetheart or doll, mostly, and she knows he doesn't have an ounce of ill intention behind it, he is just trying to be polite to her and ease her anxieties like a good boss would but her stupid crush on him makes her ironically think that she would be less stressed out if he was a bully, or an asshole. at least she wouldn't be blushing like an idiot, unable to string a coherent sentence together. he reaches over his desk, grab one of the small note cards and scrabble something on it with the pen that she's brought him minutes ago. “ this is my personal number. call me if there is a situation you can't get out of or if you get confused, okay? ”
the card is carefully folded in her palm, and she manages a “ thank you, sir. ” before she slowly stands up again, thinking they are done. “ is there anything else i should know about? ”
“ yes, there is one thing. ” he says, and she watches his smile get a bit bigger, a bit softer. “ you don't need to call me sir. just call me hiromi. we're a team, now. i don't do the hierarchy thing. ”
hiromi. she shifts her weight from one foot to another without even realizing, unaware of the way her own lips curl in the corners with how sweet she finds the whole sentiment, dimples on her smile lines deepening. “ okay... hiromi. " she gives it a shot, hesitant, but she knows she's hit jackpot when he breaks out into a full grin, pleased and proud. “ atta' girl. ”
****
a situation she could not get out of.
he probably did not fucking meant being stuck in the police station with a bloody gauze wrapped around her hand.
“ i swear to god, i'm going to kill you one of these days, ” she murmurs to her roommate who indirectly was the culprit of the fact that they had been sitting in plastic chairs, with the not so kind implication that they could not leave because the guy she had broken a vase on the head of was hell-bent on pressing charges and she couldn't even bring herself to think about the terror of what happened, too engulfed in the embarrassment of being here and the fear of losing her job stuck in her throat like a lump that wouldn't go away. higuruma was so, so firing her on the spot.
but still, there isn't anyone else she can think about calling when they call her that she has a one phone call right, the wrinkled paper he wrote his number on still bunched in her palm as she stares at it endlessly. “ isn't your boss a big shot lawyer? ” her roommate tries to help but she doesn't, the sound of her voice only providing further frustration. “ please call him, please - i don't know how else to get you out of here. ”
“ maybe i wouldn't be here when you didn't bring a fucking thief home straight from the street, ” she nearly spits out with anger, still angry, even if she doesn't meant to be. her roommate is probably even more scared, thinking she brought a thief home who pretended to be there for a one night stand, waking up in the middle of the night to half her jewelry gone and the guy trying to sneak away. she doesn't know how she rolled out of bed with the scream, how she gathered the strength to grab the vase that sat idle in the dresser in the dark and swung it with such precision a head was split open. the guy needed eight stitches, they told her. “ don't you ever think? ”
“ you'll have all the time in the world to scold me, ” her roommate pleads, pulling the phone out of its box and handing it over with begging eyes. “ just call him first, please. ”
she almost secretly hopes that he doesn't pick up, but she's not that lucky.
“ hello? who am i speaking to? ” voice hoarse, drowsy, but still having answered his phone, she loses every single syllable she's ever learned before she manages to utter out a meek greeting and her name. “ i need your help. ”
“ what's wrong? ” now not so drowsy, his tone sharpens with worry, considering it is two in the morning. she hears a shuffle of the sheets, and the most embarrassing part of it all - this guy was her boss. not a friend, not someone she was close enough to call in a situation like this, not even someone she wanted to make a witness of this god-awful situation. this truly was not her best night. “ i'm so sorry, ” she apologizes profoundly, shaking her head, rubbing her temple. “ i- i shouldn't have called this late, i'm so sorry... ”
“ tell me what's wrong, ” he repeats, cutting her apologies in half. “ where are you? ”
teeth sinking into her cheek, she tugs on a loose string of her sweatshirt. “ in a police station, ” she confesses. “ my... my roommate brought home someone, the guy tried to rob us and i hit him with a vase and now they won't let me go. ” how idiotic the entire thing sounds. how she's ruined it all even before it's begun. an assault charge on her background, what a pretty look. it wouldn't matter, that he was a thief or who was right or wrong - she had more to lose. “ i don't know what to do, ” she exhales harsh, gaze rapidly growing blurrier by the second. “ would it burn my career, if the charges came through? ”
“ are you okay? are you hurt? " he rarely answers any of her questions, too calm in the face of her panic but not nonchalant. still, she is not in the head-space to find the words, trying her best not to burst into tears. “ 'm talking to you, doll. take a deep breath, okay? let's try again. are you hurt? ”
“ no, ” she manages to mutter out, but even that sounds like a lie with the way her hand keeps throbbing with a shrill pain. “ i don't know, my hand hurts, but it's not bleeding anymore. ”
“ good fucking lord, ” he exhales harshly, then she hears the sound of a door shutting close in the background, the beep of car keys. “ i just got out of the house, alright? tell me which station you're in, i'll be there in fifteen. don't panic, you're not staying there. i'm coming to get you. ”
it's not until she sees him that she lets go, honestly. the serenity his words brought her was beyond comforting, but the way his presence brought her such relief was inexplicable. hiromi walks inside the station with a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt he's barely managed to put on and she is lingering on the edge of losing it all. he is explaining to an officer that he is her lawyer when his gaze finds her, closing the distance with a few steps. “ ssh, it's okay, sweetheart - you're okay. lemme' see your hand, ” he gently grasps her bloody hand makes her wince with pain, but watching his heavenly visage contort with anguish is not any better. “ let me deal with this, then we'll take care of this. ” he glances over her, gaze searching for the same officer. “ wait here. ” he mumbles for her to sit again on the chair, and disappears from her line of sight.
he returns around half an hour later, her roommate having left to go back home and see what was taken and what could be mended for the report. “ come on, we're leaving. ” he holds her coat in his hands, waiting patiently to put it on. she glances between him and the officer he came back with, her head pounding with a migraine caused by the stress and the florescent lights that killed every last one of her braincells. “ wait, how, he said he was going to press charges- ”
“ he's not pressing shit, ” hiromi exhales, clearly frustrated with the whole thing and she immediately feels the guilt swallow her whole. ” come on, let's take you to a hospital. your hand is not looking good and i'm not letting you go home like this. ”
so she finds herself in the passenger seat of his audi, as guilty and shameful as a human being possibly could be as they sit in the parking lot of the hospital after a quick rush into the ER. they had taken a look at the heel of her palm and stated that it wasn't as deep as to require stitches, but still to be cautious they had properly dressed it and bandaged it with the advice that she should change it every few days to avoid infections. it was a lucky call, really, that she managed to get away with something as small as a cut. things could have been a lot worse.
“ i'm sorry, ” she apologizes again, glancing over at hiromi hesitantly, her fear having petrified in her face. they are settled in the car in silence, just taking a moment to register it all before he eventually starts the engine. somehow, he manages to look worse than she does with the dark bags under his eyes and that stern expression. she has a terrible habit of assuming she is the one to blame for whatever unfortunate incident. “ i didn't mean to stress you or frustrate you, i panicked and didn't know who else to call. ”
“ oh, doll, who else would you call? ” he glances back, to meet her gaze, and the tenderness in it feels like the very proof of her ruination, trying real fucking hard not to burst into tears. she hasn't shed a single tear yet, which had been eerie on its own. “ i wish you'd call earlier, i wouldn't have even let them take you in the first place. you haven't done anything wrong, okay? what you've been through is terrifying. and even if it doesn't feel like that right now, you were really brave. ” he reaches to collect the tear at the corner of her lash with his thumb. “ you've got nothing to apologize for. you were brave. ” 
yeah, that does it. a blink later, she is sobbing her lungs out in a car that probably cost more than an entire year's rent of hers, shoulders trembling next to a man that simply has no business being as caring as he is with her. “ c’mere, it’s okay. ” the toned arms she had been busy admiring a few days ago now wrap her in an embrace that warms her inside out, her face pressing flush against his sternum, tears soaking through the navy blue cotton. his palm cradling the nape of her neck, his chin tucked atop the crown of her head as he just hushes her gracefully. it soothes her, the steady beat of his heart, the scent of his cologne in her nostrils, the slight vibrations that echo through his ribs, the soft rub of his fingertips against the pressure points in the columns of her throat. “ i know you feel guilty, ” he murmurs, half muffled against her hair. “ but there is no need to be. did your best, yeah? i’m proud of you. ”
is it really necessary, for him to be like that when she’s like this? scared of how truly comfortable she is in his arms, she withdraws slowly, but lacks the strength to detach from him completely - her forehead falls on his shoulder and he keeps her like that, still cradled against his chest, still safe & secure. her stomach is churning. he was the sweetest man she’d ever known, trying to be caring at the expense of himself, and she spent most of her time daydreaming about him. it feels vile, it feels misleading. “ i think you should just fire me. please just fire me. ” she confesses eventually with a plead, hiccuping once, uninjured hand coming up to rub at her face, tears wetting the entirety of her cheeks now.
“ what are you talking about? ” hiromi asks, confused, sliding a knuckle underneath her chin to tilt her head up so he can see the flushed cheeks and the avoidant gaze. she doesn’t like the frown on his face, more concerned than offended. “ fire you for what, honey? for getting robbed? for almost getting hurt? ” he shakes his head, rubbing her chin with a tsk tsk sound. “ don’t be ridiculous. when i said to call me for an emergency, i meant it. fix the long face, now, i hate seeing you like this. ”
she doesn’t mean it.
when he stares at her for a second too long and he consumes every single sense from her sight to her hearing, invading her lungs & her veins, her nails already pressing into his biceps through the thick material of his sweatshirt. she doesn’t mean it, when he holds her chin and looks at her with those heavy lidded rust brown eyes, burdened with the beautiful curse of thick lashes and she is tilting her head alright - until her mouth brushes against his, and every single cell in her body explodes with the trembling anticipation of the taste of him, of what it feels like to be held by him.
the worst part is that it’s not her, that pushes all the ethics out the door- it's him that kisses her like he wants to devour her - with a sigh so heavy it forces her to gasp alongside, eyes fluttering shut and entirety of her easing like a ragdoll in his hands. the adrenaline of the night pumps still strong in her veins, senses dialed up to eleven for a newfound breath as she relishes with the taste of him on her tongue, lingering of coffee. he pushes his tongue inside her mouth, demanding the same access he has given her, and her hands dive into the short raven strands, groaning into his mouth, and it truly is so fucking shameful how she’s imagining the strong hands that keep her close to slide down to her hips, yank her atop his thighs -
“ oh my god, ” instead he withdraws, wide-eyed.
“ i’m so sorry, fuck, ” he gasps, one hand reaching to wipe the saliva that had wet his chin from how sloppy the kiss was, lips red-kissed and swollen as she stares at him like a deer caught in the headlights. he’s never looked so baffled and terrified before, and her stomach is churning with the way he trips over his own words, now completely pulling away from her, reaching over her without ever meeting her gaze to grab the seatbelt and buckle her in, indirectly making sure she would remain away from him. is this happening? she can’t tell, everything registering too late as she just blinks, watching him with unfocused eyes as he starts the engine. “ i shouldn’t - i shouldn’t have done that, i’m so sorry. i’ll drop you home. ” then the engine roars, and she remains in the large seat unable to think of a single thing except for wondering how it was possible for her to feel even worse after everything. hiromi is dead silent, with eyes not leaving the road once, and she feels her world slowly collapse around her.
what the fuck was that?
****
he was not seeing the pearly gates.
what kind of a sick, twisted man would be fisting himself beyond the locked doors of his office with the imagination of his assistant between his parted legs, looking up at him with those doe eyes of hers as she bobbed her head up & down, choking on the thick girth until her eyes watered-
“ oh, god, ” he gasps hard, empty hand flying to tuck the knuckle of his index fingers between his teeth, eyes rolling to the back of his skull as the warmth of even the imagination of her spreads through his limbs, shifting in the chair to ease his hips, slowly easing onto the comfortable leather. his head falling against the back of the chair, eyes fluttering shut with heavy breaths he is trying so, so hard to keep steady, beads of sweat trickling down the corner of his thick brow, the thousand dollar dress pants unzipped and loose around his waist. he can almost imagine her there, feel the soft strands of her hair sliding between his fingers, hear the sweet moans. what a cliche, what an overused trope - the man that wants to fuck his assistant stupid on his desk, it feels like a cheap porn, it feels humiliating.
but it’s the truth, and he knows it in the marrow of his bones. was it the final succumb to the teasings of his colleagues, when they kept teasing him endlessly about the sweet girl with arms filled with the folders he’s asked for and cute little heels clicking against his tiles? how endearingly she called him sir and how he loved the dimples that indented the corner of her smile lines? how he looked forward to heading out to the office every day, how he longed to hear her chime a good morning to him as soon as he walked through the doors. no, he didn’t just want to fuck her-
he was so smitten with her, he was beyond saving.
“ ‘m sorry, ” he gasps, both to the memory of her and himself, how unable he is to stop his fingers from tightening around his cock, angry red tip swollen and leaking on his lap with how fucking close he is. “ ‘m sorry, baby, i can’t- i can’t help it, ” he is whispering apology after apology, like she’d hear it, like he’d be forgiven for being so wanton, for being absolutely irredeemable. she had no idea, just across the hall, probably reading the files he’s given her this morning without being able to look her in the eye- it was horrid, to see how much the newfound tension and awkwardness between them hurt her but how could he maintain the same closeness, when he didn’t trust himself not to push her on the armchairs in front of his desk and bury his face in her sweet cunt until she couldn’t remember anything but his name-
that does it, the pure imagination of her arching beneath him into his nose & his mouth, desperately tugging on his hair as she called his name over and over again - hiromi, hiromi, hiromi! he’s spilling in his own lap without being ready to take care of it, breath getting knocked out of his lungs with a toe-curling tsunami cascading down on him. he cums for what feels like minutes, fisting himself through it, seizing on the chair in euphoria, as stiff as a rock before he rides it out eventually, a soft warmth embracing him inside out as it renders him limbless in his seat. he doesn’t want to look down at the mess he’s made, his shirt & pants beyond saving, his cum dripping from his fingers and palm. “ fuck, ” he breathes out, lips pressing into a thin line of shame as he grabs the box of tissues from his desk, sighing as he cleans himself up, face still flushed red and skin slick with sweat.
he needs to figure this out, one way or another.
****
she’s so fired, she doesn’t even have the inkling of hope in her as she silently awaits for him to hand her the resignation papers for her to sign for a clean break. she’d sign them without word, even having prepared a small apology talk in her head about how he was a wonderful man and a brilliant lawyer that deserved every good thing that were to come his way- and she was just an idiot who blew it all up by not being the first dumbass who returned a favor with a kiss but by being the first moron that lost the best job opportunity they could have ever found. this is why she couldn’t have good things- because she was simply incapable of not ruining it by blowing it to pieces.
it didn’t help that he barely even looked at her after that night. the quick banters and the shared chuckles in the safety of their offices and hallway were reduced to avoided eye contact and simple, short sentences regarding the work they had to do. she had arrived to the work the morning after the incident fully prepared to be called into his room and demanded a conversation about what happened, but instead, hiromi conveniently said his polite good morning to her and passed her office like he didn’t back out of a kiss he devoured her with. without an ounce of acknowledgement, he moves forward like the night had never taken place and it rattles her to the point of paranoia. days chase days, a day or two become a full month that’s passed with waking to every morning asking herself if today is the day. it burdens her nerves, her smile growing more & more strained with each hour, each day. the dream job of dozens now her arch nemesis, dragging her feet each day like an ostrich that wants to bury her head in the sand.
until she grows reckless and restless with it, until the strain on her sanity reaches to its brink and forces her to knock on his door with delirium ( yeah, they were closing doors and all, now) and yanks on the handle without waiting for a response, too agitated & frustrated.
“ hello? ” hiromi asks, half confused and half demanding an explanation for the sudden intrusion, his hands on the file he had been reading, his glasses tucked neatly on the bridge of his nose. “ what can i do for you? ” he asks, lacking every bit of warmth, and the cold it leaves her with is unbearable. the roof of her mouth aches with the taste of him, not having slept one night in rest since she knew what it was like to be in his arms. her sigh is exasperated, shifting her weight from one foot to another as she near damn slams the piece of paper she had brought with herself on his desk, atop his work. “ what is this? ” hiromi asks, an eyebrow arched as he reads the header- letter of resignation.
“ you won’t fire me, fine, but i can’t do this. ” she explains, standing in front of his desk, chewing on the inside of her cheek. there is no fear, having abandoned all her hesitations by the door as she walked in, knowing she wouldn’t be in this room again. it had been a nice opportunity to have, but dragging the dead weight of something that didn’t belong to her didn’t feel right. didn’t feel good or fair, and she couldn’t keep fighting the feeling that she was somewhere she wasn’t wanted in. “ i am so, so deeply sorry i kissed you- i shouldn’t have done that, it was insane, ” she shakes her head vigorously, stammering as her hands raise in surrender. “ i was truly going through it and i lost it for a second. it was horrible of me, and i can never regret it enough. but i can’t keep working here when you refuse to talk to me or even look me in the eye. so…” she breathes out, shoulders trembling. “ please just sign my resignation and free us both. i think we both suffered enough. ”
he stares at her, expressionless, blinking between his assistant and the paper that had been presented to him. it feels like the silence stretches for minutes, before he slowly leans back. he finds her gaze, thoughtful. “ do you, really? ” he asks, curious more than anything. “ regret it, i mean. ”
he just knows where to hit, which bone to twist to get the most visceral reaction out of her. she thinks back on it, the way he gripped the nape of her neck, how he pushed his tongue into her mouth and let his teeth graze her lower lip, sloppy & desperate. he is sitting in front of with the same dark pupils, with the same poker face, and she can’t lie. “ no. ” she corrects her lie, figuring she owed him that much. “ not really. i’m sorry i lost this all and i’m sorry i made you uncomfortable, but i don’t regret what… what that felt like. ” the roots of her hair is burning, and he nods slowly, like there is anything to consider at all with her confession.
“ and what did it feel like? ” he pries further, and she groans in protest, nearly squirming in her place with the pressure that overwhelms her. “ you’re being impossible, ” she tells him, now taking her frustration out on him, not knowing any better, not knowing how to handle the situation at all. “ why are you trying to humiliate me, like i’m not embarrassed enough? is it funny to you? ”
“ no, sweetheart. ” he rises out of his desk, reaching to his full height, and even the mere gesture is enough to have her jaw close right back up, shutting up immediately. he travels around his desk, nearing her but not quite closing the distance. “ do you think it was funny for me, to be locking that door and fucking my hand here thinking of you on your knees? do you think it was funny for me to not being able to look you in the eye without thinking of kissing the breath out of your lungs? ”
was she truly hallucinating now, or was this a fever dream? because there was no way it was true. she blinks once, twice, trying to register what she hears. hiromi takes a slow step, reaching to cup his chin between his thumb and the knuckle of his index finger, and the memories keep flooding back. a beautiful dejavu that ended in such heartbreak, but her she’s already feeling how her knees are failing her, forgetting how to breathe when he stares her down without an ounce of reservation. it was all abandoned now, abandoned the moment she kissed him and he kissed her back. “ do you understand how fucked up is that? ” he asks, no louder than a hoarse murmuring, gaze trailing her features. “ i’ve never laid a hand on anyone in this office before, let alone my assistant. let alone a girl like you. do you understand the position you’ve put me in? do you understand how wrong this whole thing is? ”
she’s dizzy, and there is nowhere to go from his hold, except to tilt her head up, wide-eyed and breathless. her mouth feels so, so dry, her tongue heavy in her mouth. “ i won’t tell anyone. ” is so pathetic if she could see herself from an outside perspective she would be jumping straight out the window with the second hand embarrassment. that’s how much she wants this man, enough to mutter a pathetic plea just to be the girl who got railed by her boss in his office, just to be the girl she had nightmares becoming. she will have to forgive herself, sometime in the future, because this is not something she can resist- hiromi is an obsession she wouldn’t be able to satiate herself with if she’d tried, especially when he stands chest to chest with her, when his thumb brushes her lower lip. he stares at her mouth endlessly, but this time she knows better than to kiss him first, this time she knows better than to come on too strong and terrify him away.
coming on too strong she fears, but it is his hands that slide underneath the back of her plush thighs to turn her and push her flush against the edge of his desk, forcing her on top of the polished wood. “ hiromi, ” she gasps, but it’s futile- he kisses her so fast the world tilts on its axis, whining with the last remaining braincell that her pencil skirt is too stubborn to let him settle between her legs, to which hiromi responds by sliding his rough palms across her thighs and hike up, until it is bunched around her waist. ever the problem solver, ever the crisis manager- he’s barely even touched her and she is already a puddle of limbs in his arms, wide-eyed and overwhelmed and confused. “ hiromi, ” she pleads again, unsure what she’s asking for, man’s mouth having trailed down her jugular, teeth grazing against the column of her throat.
“ ssh, ” he is so tender with the hush, she can’t even be frustrated at how inherently mean it is. her hands travel the broad, sinewy shoulders of his, trying to hold on without collapsing, not trusting herself to carry her own weight but hiromi doesn’t even allow her that, reaching to grasp her hands and pin them on the desk behind her. “ i’mma need you to hold out for me, yeah? ” he’s moving downward before she can even register the request, barely being able to plant her hands back and arch for support, gaining a groan from hiromi who is already on his knees, skilled fingers impatiently tugging on the buttons of her slim fit indigo dress shirt. “ so fucking beautiful, ” he murmurs but there is no telling if he’s talking to her or to himself, nuzzling his face into her navel when he reveals the creamy soft skin. “ you’re so fucking beautiful, sweetheart, god, you have no idea what you’re doing to me, ” he teeths at her hipbone, drags his tongue across her abdomen, leaving a cold trail in its wake, still sloppy. veiny hands grasp her thighs to move them over his shoulders, fingers carefully bunching the linen fabric at her waist, revealing the blue pair of underwear she’s already soaked through.
she wants to say something, do something, but there is no focusing when he stares at her clothed wetness as intently as he does, instinctively trying to shut her legs to which he replies with a “ uh-uh, keep ‘em open, ” he mumbles, pressing an experimental thumb right to her clit, drawing a groan and a jolt out of her. bingo. “ oh, baby… ” he murmurs, dazzled and mesmerized as she squirms on his desk, breathless and whimpering with hands grasping the edge of his desk, hips rutting into his hand desperately as he starts to draw tight circles, making her shudder. “ hiromi, ” she repeats his name for the thousandth time, chest heaving. “ please, please. ”
“ i know, i know, ” he trails, nosing at her through her underwear, then hooking his middle finger to the side of her panties to pull them aside, reveal the glistening folds & throbbing clit, moaning with the bare sight of it. “ oh, sweetheart, you’re drenched, ” he stares truly enamored, and she’s speechless, face scrunched up in overwhelm. he forces her to tilt her hips, manhandling without shame as his mouth hovers over her quivering cunt, warm breath tingling without ever closing the distance. she’s about to beg once more, beg him to do something, anything, but he’s too good for that- when his admiration is done, her leans over to spread her open with two fingers & lap at her like a man starved and she forgets every thought she’s ever had, breath knocked out of her chest, seizing on the desk. hiromi couldn’t care less, so goddamn happy to be between her soft thighs, pressing his tongue flat against her swollen bud and rub the pulsating hole with his thumb, eyes closed shut, moaning on cloud nine and letting each sound vibrate in her stomach. he is eating to his heart’s content, downright messy, and there is nothing to do but for her to take. “ taste so good, ” he mumbles against her, worrying her clit between his teeth, changing his thumb for a middle finger as she trembles on top of him. one hand flying to grasp onto his hair, raven strands bunched in her fist as she grinds shamelessly onto his mouth, onto his nose. “ oh my god, ” he whimpers, tongue licking at her dry lips, trying to protect her sanity. “ oh my god! ”
“ there you go, jus’ like that. fuck my face, baby. ” he encourages her to grind, using the opportunity to slide his finger inside her and feel it get swallowed whole by the gummy walls, exhaling so hard with the feeling she suddenly remembers that they are in his office and the door is unlocked. “ the door! ” she whisper-screams, eye-widened as she tries to fight inescapable surrendering to how good his finger feels nestled inside her, how well it stretches her out. “ the door, hir- oof, ” there is no finishing her sentence, because he’s curling it against the soft spongy spot inside her and her eyes are rolling back to the back of her head, almost drooling on her shirt. “ don’ care, ” he grumbles with the focus and effort it takes him not to pound her on the spot, worrying another finger inside her instead, sucking on her clit lazily. “ you’re not getting off this desk until you’ve cum on my fingers, ” so unabashed, he grips her hips even tighter as if to prove that he means his point. “ scared people will see you like this, doll? ” he kisses her clit lovingly, and at the same time curls and bullies that one spot inside her she’s clenching around the thick fingers on the spot, shaking violently. “ then you better cum. ”
she doesn’t need to tell him, he can probably tell by the way she squeezes onto his fingers like a vice, seizing on top of him as her hips violently rut into his face, cumming endlessly as he moans alongside her, still pumping his fingers inside her leisurely to help her ride it out but having released her clit to leave wet kisses on the inside of her thighs. “ there it is, good girl, such a good girl, well done, honey. ” he keeps uttering nonsense, but fuck if they don’t feel good, leaving her as a sweaty mess on top of his desk with mascara on her cheeks & flushed cheeks. it takes her a moment, laying on top of the desk, eyes fluttering shut as she tries to catch her breath. holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck. she doesn’t remember the last time she came that hard, doesn’t remember the last time someone made her feel that good. hiromi sounds pleased, humming contently as he slowly withdraws his fingers out of her and she barely catches the way he places them atop his tongue, licking them clean.
“ you’re trying to kill me, ” she concludes, dead serious, and he offers her the sweetest smile known to mankind before he disappears out of her vision, then she hears the sound of a key turning in its lock, as promised. “ i can’t have people seeing my baby like this, no? ” he hums, sultry as his fingertips trace her thighs, lodging himself between her legs once more, staring at her through half lidded eyes, pleased with what he sees. and all she’s thinking about is that he’s called her his baby. his. “ you left me alone, ” she doesn’t know where it comes from, the choked out confession, with the bottled emotions spilling between them, his fingers coated in her release. “ you didn’t- you didn’t speak to me for weeks…”
his expression changes, lips pursing into a thin line. “ i thought… ” he breathes out, unsure how to word anything at all. “ i thought it was the best thing to do. it’s not fair, doll, you don’t understand- i’m your boss. ” he sighs with exasperation, that excuse having long left the office by now. “ you would have hated me, you would have thought i was a creep, you would have… ” he shrugs, not wanting to talk about it any further. “ i can’t abuse my power. not ever, and especially not with you. you’re fucking brilliant, do you hear me? ” he tilts her chin to himself. “ you’re brilliant, you are the best that i’ve ever seen at your job- and you are not going to lose it or feel like you didn’t earn it because i can’t keep my hands off of you, alright? ”
oh. oh. rendered speechless, she just stares at him, vision blurring with a single blink. he had been trying to save her from him the entire time she thought that he was leaving her behind. “ i love you, ” she confesses, and it sounds wrong the moment it leaves her mouth- like it’s something she said in the heat of the moment, or something she said randomly without emotion, but the world hadn’t heard something truer than that. “ i think i’m in love with you, hiromi. i know ‘t sounds stupid and i know you don’t believe me, but i really do. ”
now it’s his time to be left devoid of words, frozen in his place, and as she thinks she’s said the wrong thing again, he leans down to gather her up in his arms. “ c’mere, ” she goes as she pleads, letting him pull her flush against his chest and lift her off the desk, to settle on the comfortable armchair with her spread out on his lap. he shifts them, until he slides further down, in a position where he can comfortably roll her hips up into hers without strain, his face nuzzled in the crook of her neck. “ want to hold you just like this, ” he murmurs, large hands kneading her ass to force her into a languid movement alongside him, leaving her wide-eyed on top of him, with the way he sits so, so heavy & hard between her legs, the button of his dress pants catching at her sensitive bud with each movement and making her jolt. “ hiromi! ” she keens, nails digging into his shoulders through the thin shirt. “ i know, baby, i know, ” he coos in her ear, muffled against her collarbone, skin slick with sweat. “ ‘t feels good, lemme have this for a second, i promise i’ll make it up to you. ”
it’s way too much, and he is way too merciless, she is gushing all over his pants, expensive black linen soaked underneath her, hiding her embarrassment by forcing her face against his neck, hiding there with lazy moans spilling out of her with each roll of his hips. “ you’re making a mess, doll, ” he murmurs, kissing the shell of her ear, holding her still by the large palm on her ass, cock strained against her through layers & layers. “ does it feel that good? you wanna cum again? ” her nod is so pathetic, it’s an abomination at that point, clenching and convulsing around nothing. it feels so good, the slight burn and the way that her rubs against her clit in the best angle possible. “ can you cum like this, baby? can you do that f’ me? i know you can do it, ” he encourages her. “ make me proud, atta’ girl. ”
make him proud she does, her hips stuttering and jerking on top of him, eyes rolling as she whimpers, hiromi thrusting slowly underneath her. “ look at you, so perfect, so perfect f’ me, ” he praises, and it goes to where all the precious things go in her heart, mewling with exhaustion on top of him. her face is peppered with endless kisses, his hand cradling her head and brushing through her now mess of a hair. her arms go around his neck, nuzzling into him tiredly, still riding out the aftershocks of her second orgasm. “ oh, i’ll never get enough of you, ” he confesses to himself. “ i’ll never get enough of this, how are you even real? how is this even real? ”
“ you promised, ” she whines, grinding into him once, and he breathes out an airy chuckle. “ i did, haven’t i? ” his sly hands reaches between them, unbuckling his belt in one swift motion, pulling himself out of his pants and he barely even needs to pull before he springs out, rock hard, leaking. she is unaware that she’s been staring, dazed at how mouth-watering it looks, how much she wants to get on her knees and get a taste of it until she hears hiromi sing for her. he’d look beautiful, with his head tipped back, face contorted with pleasure. but the man has different plans, it seems, because it takes him less than a second to grasp the base of his cock, drag it alongside her soaked folds leisurely before he lets his tip catch at the throbbing entrance. “ i’ll do all the work, okay? ” he speaks, tired but content, holding her steady. “ you just relax against me and let me take care of you, yeah? you’ve been so good to me, let me care for you, honey. ”
and who is she to say no to that? laying herself on his chest, she shifts her hips, and that same second hiromi gives it an experimental push, both of them groaning at the same time when he pops inside her with a quick suction, walls clenching around him, unsure if they want to suck the pressure in or push it all out. she gives out a low cry on top of him, hiromi swearing underneath his breath, giving it a few more inches, feeling the way she envelopes him. “ oh my god, ” he gasps out, hands on her hips, and she can feel him trembling with how much he tries not to bury himself to the hilt inside her, how much he’s trying to keep himself in check. “ oh, what the fuck, t’s so good, t’s too good, ” he slurs his words, head tipping back as he slowly pulls out to push right back in, her keeling on his chest. “ hiromi, fuck, ” she cries out, trying to adjust to the size of him but it feels impossible- not when he holds her the way he does, when he fucks her the way he does, slow and steady, without ever truly bottoming out, still considering her first.
“ you feel amazing, ” he says in disbelief, feeding her poor cunt one more inch every time he thrusts back inside, and she’s trying to keep herself from passing out on his lap, arms around his neck, holding on for dear life as he splits her open without a care in the world. “ wanna’- need to go faster, sweetheart, ” he frantically whispers in her ear, hips stuttering. “ i can’t like this, need more, can you take it? ” can she take it? “ yes, yes, yes, ” she’s babbling with a high-pitched whimper and before she knows it he pries her hands from his neck, grasping both her wrists in one hand and bounding them behind her back as she uses them as leverage before he-
oh, so this is what he meant- hips shift and the very next thrust buries him balls deep inside her and she chokes on her air, near damn screaming his name, especially with the way he starts to fuck her with reckless abandon, his empty hand flying to press his palm over her mouth to keep her quiet. her cries are muffled in the soft, sweaty skin, eyes rolling back and sopping cunt clenching each time he hits that spot inside her that makes her see stars, a constant mewling as she turns limbless in his lap as he praises her without end, a plethora of “ you’re being so good f’ me, ” and “ good girl, you’re so beautiful, ” ringing in her ear as he makes sure that no one will ever make her feel the way he does. she’s crying his name by the time she’s spasming around him, her third orgasm ripping through her like a bullet train as hiromi keeps pounding her without pause. “ keep cumming on my cock, jus’ like that, doll, don’t stop cumming, ” and she can’t, not when he doesn’t let her, doomed to take it all without a single complaint.
then he starts falling out of rhythm, as well, letting go of her mouth but not of her hands . “ oh, i’m so close, ” he grunts against her hair, thrusts getting more erratic, hips jerking. “ i’ll figure it out, ” is the first thing she says when she gets her ability to speak again, damp strands of hair stuck in the sides of her face, a total mess on top of him, gaze half-lidded. he glances up at her, searching for the truth in her eyes, to make sure she isn’t saying something she’ll regret in a second, asking if she’s sure. she responds with a meek “ please, ” and that’s all it takes for hiromi to slam his hips into her ass one more time, spilling inside her and letting them both moan with the feeling of it. it feels warm, it feels wet. she is viscerally shaking on top of him, collapsing with weak knees, and hiromi catches her in his arms, already having released her hands. “ good god, ” he exhales, head rested against the back of his chair.
they stay like that, nestled against each other, as a pile of dead limbs and long inhales, him still twitching inside her. her head remains rested against his chest, comfortable in his lap, comfortable not having to look at him in the face, knowing she wouldn’t be able to take the weight of his gaze at the moment. he’s everything to her, he’s so vital to her, it aches.
but he does something even harder, even more difficult. arms wrapped around her shoulders, tenderly rubbing her back, he rests his mouth against the shell of her ear and whispers an “ i love you, too. ” she stops dead in her tracks. his breath hitches in his throat, but he doesn’t back down. “ i do. there’s no helping it. i’ve tried. ” he lets all the air out of his lungs, fingertips tracing her spine. “ there’s no getting over you. there’s no one else like you. ‘m sorry i was an ass to you. you just really had me whipped, didn’ know what to do with it. ” she chuckles heartily at the confession that gets a bit adorable at the end, and when she pulls back just enough to see his face, she sees the smile she’s adored for the first time in weeks. it feels like seeing the sun after a hurricane, seeing a rainbow. “ there you go, ” she whispers, pleased, tracing his mouth with her fingertips. “ i’ve missed this smile. ”
“ are you ripping that resignation, or should i set it on fire? ” hiromi murmurs, grinning lazily at her, taking the sight of her in, seemingly pleased with his masterpiece. she drapes herself on his chest. “ dunno’. are you doing the honors of explaining this to the HR or should i? ”
he loses the grin so fast, exchanging it for a roll of his eyes and a groan instead. “ too soon to go back to all that, ” he murmurs, placing a loving kiss on the crook of her neck, holding her close. “ lemme’ go a second round, then we’ll consider. ”
“ hiromi! ”
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rekino2114 · 3 days
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Fem. Gojo showing you her domain
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You were lying on your bed mindlessly watching videos until you heard a tap on your window. You went in front of it, readying your cursed technique in case it was an enemy. After what happened with toji you were not going to take any more chances. You were very relieved to see it was just your girlfriend. You opened the window and let her come in
"Oh, satori, what are you doing here?"
"What? Can't a girl visit her boyfriend once in a while?"
"I meant why were you outside my window?"
"Your dorm is on the second floor, and I just got back from a training session. No way I'm gonna do all those stairs"
"It's like two flights, and you thought floating was easier?"
"Hey I got my technique I'm gonna use it"
"Whatever, anyway so why did you wanna visit?"
"Oh yeah, I got something super cool to show you"
She smiled brightly and pointed at herself in a dramatic manner
"Guess who just perfected her domain expansion?"
"....For real?"
"For real real, it took training and a lot of mochis to power up but I finally did it"
"That's so cool, tori. domain expansions are the peak of jujutsu, I'm so proud of you"
"Well, of course I'd be able to do it sooner or later, I am the strongest after all but thanks for the praise"
"Don't mention it"
"Soooo are you ready to see it or what?"
"Won't it hurt me?"
"Nah, it's a non lethal domain.......kinda"
"....that's not really reassuring"
"Come on, don't you trust me? It's beautiful to look at, it's gonna be a nice date place"
"*sighs* fine but if I die my ghost will haunt you forever"
"Don't worry, I'll never let anything happen to you"
You were slightly taken aback by her serious tone, but she quickly went back to her silly self as she smiled again, put her hands together, and disappeared, you sighed and waited for a few seconds before she reappeared with an embarrassed expression on her face
"S-sorry, I forgot you can't-"
"It's fine let's just go"
You went outside (using the door this time), and in the courtyard, gojo stood near you and held your hand
"You gotta keep holding my hand. If you don't, then you might be in a coma for a couple of months k?"
".....what?"
"Don't worry, it'll be fine. You can hug me if you're really worried, I certainly wouldn't complain~"
"*sighs* just get on with it"
She smiled again and took off her shades, revealing the blue eyes you loved to stare at, put them in her pockets, and did her domain hand sign with her free hand.
"Domain expansion: infinite void"
Suddenly, black filled your vision as you got transported into her domain, an endless plane of black with white spots, satori's grip on you tightened as she looked back at you
"Soooo what do you think? Pretty nice to look at isn't it?"
"Yeah, it's beautiful, but I guess it was guaranteed that a beautiful girl like you would have a beautiful domain"
"Eh, such a charmer. You're gonna make me blush if you continue"
You sat down, and she did the same. Her hand made its way up your body until it reached your shoulder. She pulled you into a side hug and layed her head on your shoulder
"You know I love you right?"
"Yeah you tell me that every day"
"No, I mean like love, love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me"
"*giggle* really? The great satori gojo loves me this much? I'm honored"
"You should be, but seriously, after geto left, you're the only person I have left. Sure, I have shoko, but to be honest, I don't think she cares that much about me. Even if she did, she can't really understand me.....sometimes I feel so...lonely"
You silently side hugged her back as you saw her blue eyes become slightly lucid while looking around
"I guess it's fitting that my domain is a big empty void cause that's where I feel like I'm in sometimes........"
"Except when I'm with you of course"
You turned to see her smiling brightly and staring at you lovingly
"You're what keeps me going. You're someone that i know will never leave me. i love you so much"
"I love you too"
You two kissed passionately and looked at each other with pure love
"Alright, I think that was enough. If I keep my domain going for longer, I might get tired, I'll undo it now"
She did as she said and put her shades back on
"How about we go out to eat? It's almost dinnertime and there's a really good spot around here"
"Sure if we bring megumi and tsumiki too"
"Uh?..........dammit I forgot about them....do you think they'll be mad at me?"
"*sighs* you're such a mess of a mom, we can buy them some toys on the way home, maybe they'll forgive you then"
"Great idea, you're a life saver babe"
"It's nothing. Let's just go"
She dragged around as you brought the toys and food for your adopted children.
No matter what happened, you would stick by gojo's side, and she would, of course, do the same
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Text
Last Call
Patrick "Paddy" Feld (Speak No Evil) x female reader
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MDNI - 18+
pairing - Paddy x female reader
summary - working at a small pub, you meet a sexy mystery man. He's just another customer - until he's not
w/c - 1400+
t/w - unprotected sex, Paddy is a tiny bit rough (he's a trigger warning by himself), mirror play?
a/n - not sure what it says about me that this morally bankrupt character is the one who broke me out of my year+ long writer's block, but here we are. For the purposes of this, reader has no idea what Paddy gets up to in his spare time
Starting over was such a pain in the ass. You never pictured that you would be here, 30 and divorced. It had come as such a surprise that your head was still reeling. Deciding on a clean break, you had packed up your belongings, taking little more than the essentials and your beloved cat, and set off, leaving everything and everyone you knew behind.
Settling in a little village in the West Country, you found yourself adjusting to your new life a lot easier than you expected. The pace was so much slower there compared to the city, and you quickly found a job bartending in a small pub. You loved working nights, listening to the stories exchanged by the locals. You mainly dealt with the same group of regulars, and their welcoming attitude was helping you to come out of your shell.
You had first noticed him come in late one Saturday night. He was the kind of man who commanded everyone’s attention. He was loud and outspoken, his voice and laughter carrying throughout the room. You overheard some of the other customers call him Paddy.
You were immediately attracted to him, his demeanor so different from your ex that it was intoxicating. He always flirted with you, but you never took it to mean anything since he was that way with everyone. The more you were around him though, the more he began to consume your thoughts. Picturing the way those muscular arms would feel wrapped around you, how his stubble would feel against your thighs when he was between your legs…
There was just one problem - he was married. His wife was always with him. She actually seemed really nice, which only served to make you feel more guilty about the amount of time you spent fantasizing about her husband. That’s all it ever could be though - you might be a lot of things, but you weren’t a homewrecker. You and your vibrator had become best friends. You could at least have him in your head, right?
Maybe that was why you were so flustered when you realized that this particular night he came in alone. “Hey Paddy, what can I get you?” you asked, trying to keep your expression neutral. It was becoming harder and harder to be around him, and you didn’t know what to do about it. “Surprise me,” he replied, watching you as you poured him a drink and slid it over.
“Where’s Ciara?” you asked. An expression you couldn’t quite judge crossed his face before he replied. “She’s not feeling well and decided to stay home.” Your heart sped up at the thought that you could spend time with him alone. And you did - when you weren’t busy with someone else, Paddy kept you entertained with endless stories and conversation. The other patrons began paying their tabs and heading for the exit. Realizing that just you and he were left in the building, you checked your watch. You couldn’t believe the time.
“Last call. Can I get you anything else?” you asked as you dried the glass in your hand. The old jukebox in the corner was belting out Black Velvet. It was a little too perfect. He looked at you, his expression suddenly serious. “I do want something else, but it’s a little off-menu. “What on earth are you talking about?” you asked, having no idea where this was going.
“Darlin’, what I want is you .” Your stomach felt like it dropped out of your body. Is this really happening?? “B-b-but what about Ciara?” you stammered, barely able to string a sentence together. “It’s fine, occasionally we dine out. Helps keep it fresh. She doesn’t care,” he replied, standing and walking his way behind the bar toward you.
You couldn’t hear the music anymore, just the deafening sound of your heartbeat pounding. He stood in front of you, and your brain froze. All you could think was that he smelled so damn good, so manly, and it made your mouth water.
“I’ve seen the way you look at me. I think you want this as much as I do,” he said. The look on his face was half smile, half cocky smirk, and it made you want to rip his clothes off. Instead, you just nodded, throwing the towel you were holding to the side. Quickly making sure the door was locked and flipping over the closed sign, you returned to him.
He leaned in, tracing his fingertips down your jawline, kissing you slowly at first. You could taste the alcohol on his breath. Backing you up against the bar top, you could see the lust in his eyes. He looked almost hungry.
The heat inside you was already building as his tongue licked a line down your collarbone. Throwing your tank top off to the side, he traced the lace edge of your bra and groaned. “Mmmm, so beautiful darlin’,” he said, unhooking it and throwing it behind you to land on a bottle of whiskey. The chill in the air immediately hardened your nipples, which he took turns taking inside his warm mouth. Your brain felt like cotton candy, all coherent thoughts leaving you as he expertly sucked and bit at you.
Removing the last of your clothes, you stood bare before him. “This seems a little one sided, Paddy,” you teased as you stripped him of everything he had on. Once he was also naked and you really looked at him, you sucked in a breath. He was even more gorgeous than you thought possible.
He wasted little time with foreplay, turning you around and bending you over a nearby stool. He teased your entrance, but you didn’t think anything could prepare you for his size. He took his time, letting you adjust to the sweet stretch of him filling you up.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his hands resting on your hips. You nodded, and then all bets were off. He slammed into you, fully enveloping himself in your warmth. “Damn, you’re so tight,” he grunted as he worked your body over. “S-s-s-sorry, it’s been a while,” you managed to choke out between thrusts. “Feels so fucking perfect,” he replied, his hands roaming all over you. You could already feel that familiar pressure building in your abdomen, impending bliss already blooming inside you.
One hand gripped your breast and the other reached up and wrapped around your throat. Applying slight pressure, he pulled your upper body taut. There was a giant mirror behind the bar. “I want you to look up. Watch yourself while I fuck you,” he whispered in your ear. Fingertips dug into your throat just a little tighter, riding that fine line between pleasure and pain, and you did just that.
You didn’t recognize the version of yourself you saw in the mirror’s reflection. Disheveled hair, sweat beginning to drip down your face, you looked happy for the first time in a long time.
“Paddy,” you moaned, bucking your hips back into him even harder. “Don’t you dare close your eyes, you’re going to watch me make you cum,” he growled.
You had never felt more exposed, or more aroused. Your ex would never have dared to talk to you this way during sex. Paddy was unlocking some primal side to you, and you were loving every minute. His hand moved away from your throat, allowing you to breathe fully again. He started rubbing slow circles on your clit. Contrasting with the fast pace at which he was still thrusting into you, it felt like all your nerve endings were on fire. You felt yourself about to tip over the edge. Still watching your reflection in the mirror, your orgasm washed over you in a wave. “That’s my girl. You look so beautiful when you’re coming undone,” Paddy said, fucking you through your high. While you were still clenching around him, he also came, filling you full.
Almost collapsing against the bar top, your body felt like jelly. He slowly pulled himself out of you. He threw his pants back on and retrieved your scattered clothes, handing them to you. “I’ll never be able to look at this place the same way again,” you said, cheeks burning as you glanced at the mirror behind him.
“So, same time next week?” he asked with a wink. That familiar heat started to build just thinking of the possibilities. You watched him walk toward the door, his jeans hugging him in all the right places. “I’ll be here.”
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magicbystarlight · 2 days
Text
Before I Knew You - Part Twelve
Bill Weasley x Reader
Masterlist, Part One
Summary: You’ve spent years training under Madam Pomfrey in the hopes that you would join the Healers at St. Mungo’s at graduation. But in the aftermath of the death of Albus Dumbledore, you chose to join the Order instead. When you’re forced into hiding, you find yourself alone with Bill Weasley and his new wolfish tendencies.
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings: 18+, typical canon warnings, age gap, oral sex (male recieving), angst, allusions to knotting, secrets. Minors DNI.
A/N: Thank you Anon for the inspiration 💕
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It was warm, sweat dampening your skin. Something heavy on your chest. Wind on your ear. Your eyes opened with effort. 
Bill remained sleeping peacefully. An ache in your pelvis bloomed as you squirmed out from under him. With effort you stood. The amount of spend that rushed down your thighs was staggering. Despite the soreness there didn’t seem to be anything physically wrong. You ran a diagnostic to be sure. Everything was as it should be. Better for Bill.
Still, your trip to the bathroom was an extended one. You had to sit under the stream of water instead of standing in the shower. When you wobbled back to the room, you were careful to avoid the puddle you’d left on the floor. It was still early. Or late? The sun wasn’t up.
“Bill?”
He groaned as you shook his shoulder. Mumbled something you didn’t understand. It took several more shakes for him to open his eyes. More words you didn’t understand. They didn’t even sound like English. You gave up, laid a kiss on his forehead, and covered him in a new blanket. As you dressed, you saw the evidence of his affections. Bruises on your hips. Hickies and bite marks along your neck and chest. You’d have to sacrifice a bit of Dittany to heal them. 
With Bill deep in sleep, you didn’t feel the need to be quiet. You set the kettle on the stove and opened your notebook to a fresh page.
Your third cup had grown cold as you went over the notes again and again. There was too much missing. Too little information about werewolves and nothing about whatever in between Bill was. The little you’d documented was nowhere near enough to understand what had happened. You needed more. 
The sun rose higher over the hill, lighting the homes dotting the countryside. Dew wet the hem of your pants as you strided across the lawn. It was early, only a few minutes after sunrise, but you knew they’d be awake. Your knock was too loud for the quiet morning.
Tonks opened the door confused. “Is Bill okay?”
“As fine as he can be with everyone keeping secrets.”
Her face pinched. She checked over your shoulder before moving aside and ushering you in. “Tea or firewhiskey?”
With a grimace as you sat at her small, round table, you answered, “Firewhiskey.” It’s like deja vu as she filled a glass with too much alcohol and set it in front of you. The burn it left was equally as familiar.
She sat across from you, nails clanking against her own glass. “I told Remus it was a bad idea to not tell you everything.” She shook her head. “Doesn’t understand what it’s like to be on this side of things, seeing someone you love go through that sort of thing it’s damn near debilitating, ain’t it?” She downed the glass. “He forgets the bond works both ways.”
“Bond?”
She poured more Firewhiskey into both glasses. “The mating bond.”
Bill was still asleep when you returned. You cleaned the remnants of the night before, put a pot of stew to simmer on the stove, returned to the bed, and stared at him. Sweat drenched hair clung to his forehead. Mouth parted with the tiniest trail of drool. An occasional snore that blew across your face. The raised edges of scarred skin contrasted by the smooth expanse between them. He was ethereal. Branded by some demonic force, but still divine. 
And yours. And you his. 
Mated. Bonded. Irrevocably intertwined. Tonks’ revelation left you somewhere between relief and despair. There was no choice in this, not for either of you. Magic had decided and weaved a connection so thoroughly through your beings that there was no hope of any sense of peace or happiness without the other. 
“It doesn’t make it any less real,” Tonks had said quietly in the doorway before you left. Remus had gotten in a few minutes before, somehow convinced you’d only come by to give him a bottle of Murtlap Essence. As angry as you were with him, you couldn’t add that burden when he could barely stand. “What we feel for them, it’s not any less real.”
Your fingers brushed across his forehead, pushing back the hair. All the feelings and desires you had for him, the ones you’d felt so much guilt for, he had them too. You’d known that before. Even if you’d tried to explain it away, deep down you’d known. Maybe you’d been trying to protect yourself. Maybe you’d been trying to protect him. It didn’t matter. All that repression and denial had been pointless. Had hurt more than helped him. 
That’s why last night happened. She’d called it a knot. Her information was limited, only her own experience and what little Remus had been able to learn from his time amongst different communities. And even that was dubious as the reasoning varied amongst groups. Some thought it was for mating, to try to increase the extremely low birth rate, while others thought it was meant to strengthen the bond between mates, and still others thought it was meant to be some form of rejeunitve ritual to contrast the extreme tolls of the transformation. Tonks' best guess was that it was somewhere in between all three. 
They tended to deal with it in the days before and after the full moon. “It’s usually quite pleasant,” she’d said. “We just lay together for a few minutes until the swelling goes down. That first full moon though,” her whole body shivered, “it was like it’d built up when we were dancing around the bush. I was sore for a good two weeks. But Remus looked better than he had in months.”
You could have helped him sooner. Forgone all the angst and pain. If only you’d known before it had gotten complicated. 
“Does anyone else know about the mate stuff?”
Sadness had etched into her brow. “Not anyone still alive.”
It’s when the sun is at its highest in the sky that he finally wakes. You were in the garden when he joined you, fresh from the shower, clad on in boxers, and holding a bowl of stew. “I’d say morning,” you teased, “but that was a couple hours ago.”
He gave a dopey, lopsided grin. Beautiful. He was so beautiful.
You stood, dusting off the dirt, and went to his side. The heat from his body seeped through the fabric of your shirt. With a tilt of your head, you pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips.
He sniffed. "Tonks came by?"
"No, I, uh, went to see her," you said, heading inside.
"Alone?" His hand grabbed yours, and he spun you toward him.
"In hindsight, stupid, I know, but," you shrugged, "I was worried about you. About what had happened last night."
"You should've woken me."
"I tried." You laid your free hand on his chest. "I won't do it again."
He sighed. "I'm sorry, love." He pulled you against him, his arms tight around you. His cheek rested against the top of your head. His breath blew over your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “What’d she say?”
You shrugged again. “It was just some leftover physiological stuff from wolves. Might happen again tonight and will every full moon, but it’ll be less intense. Nothing to worry about.”
Two full moons passed. The cottage had become more active. Order members were frequent visitors now. Between physicals, injuries, and the brief run of a rather vicious flu, you were kept fairly busy as a Healer. And when you weren’t, the various members had worked with you on improving your defensive spells. You weren’t great, but you had gotten better. To the point you no longer stayed at the cottage at all times. You were at Order meetings now and had been waiting at their rendezvous point during their important missions. 
One of those missions had been raiding an apothecary hidden amongst the hills beyond a muggle village. Stealing wasn’t something the Order typically approved of, but as the owner had taken out several ads in the Daily Prophet boasting they were working on a potion that would detect Muggleborns, an exception had been made. Its success left you with a diverse collection of ingredients and mediocrely brewed potions. Including an extensive stash of Occamy eggs.
Your first attempt at the Wolfsbane Potion hadn’t been successful, but you had high hopes for the second.
“…four, five, six,” George counted his stirs and stepped aside for you to wave your wand over the cauldron again. You waited. His nails tapped against the counter. Nothing. You covered his hand to stop them. Your shoulders slumped. Another failure. You turned away from the offending cauldron and began to clean up the prep. “It’s a difficult potion,” George said, grabbing the chopping boards and utensils to walk over to the sink. “We’ll get it next time.”
“Yeah,” you agreed halfheartedly over the sound of the running water, “next time.”
George was one of your more constant companions. Fred had been too, early on. He hadn’t been by in over a month. “Tomorrow?”
The cabinet shut with a loud slam that made you cringe. “Can’t.” Without a word, he handed you a clean, damp rag before returning to scrubbing a knife. “Remus wants everyone to start carrying some chocolate at all times, but we don’t really trust the wizard stuff anymore. He dropped off a satchel of some muggle ones I’ve got to melt down and add some Anti-Melting Potion to. Think I might try infusing some with dittany, see how it works out.”
“Think we could try some with Wit-Sharpening Potion? Those things always made me feel foggy.”
Your hand stopped mid swipe. “That’s bloody brilliant, George.”
He laughed. “No need to sound so surprised. Got a whole line of potion infused sweets, you know?”
“Oh I remember,” you said, a smile crawling up your cheeks. “Bane of my existence during exam week.”
George was great at distractions. He kept the conversation going, talking about the different techniques they had started making their own. He talked and talked without mentioning the still full cauldron as he helped prepare dinner. He had you laughing at some story of the time they’d slipped a Fire-Breath Butterscotch into their mum’s candy bowl and Arthur nearly burnt down the Burrow. “Hell of a Howler Mum sent. Would’ve made a great ad if we could’ve saved it.” We. Always we. Never him and—
“How is Fred?” you asked, pushing onion around the pan.
“Better. Not coming around to it yet, but,” he shrugged, “not as angry.”
The oil sizzles and bubbles as the chicken hits it, bouncing up to try to burn you for the disruption. “He doesn’t have any right to be angry. It's not like we knew.”
“Maybe not, but he still is. Keeps saying Bill planned this all out to get you to himself. And yes it’s ridiculous,” he said before you could, “and I’m sure he knows it’s ridiculous, but he’s hurt. Wants to believe if things had worked out differently, if he’d been here more or if you’d been with us instead, it’d be him.”
“It doesn’t matter how differently things could have gone, it’d still be Bill.”
“Maybe. It’s the what ifs that make it hard for him.”
There were no what ifs. It was always, would always, be Bill. But you couldn’t tell him that. “I just wish he’d be happy for his brother. After he’s gone through, he deserves some happiness.”
George’s hand rested on your shoulder and pressed an affectionate kiss to your hair. “And so do you. Don’t let Fred’s jealousy ruin it. He’ll come around eventually. Might take a close call or two, but eventually.”
Bill sniffed your hair and made a face. “George is lucky he’s my second favorite brother.”
“Mine too.”
“As long as I’m first.”
“First? Why on earth would you be first? No, no, it’s Charlie, obviously, then George, then Percy when he gets his head out of his ass, then Ron, that ghoul pretending to be Ron right now, and lastly Fred if he ever gets his head out of his ass.”
“I don’t even make the list?”
You grinned up at him. “Of my favorite brother-in-laws? What, you think me and Ginny are a better fit?”
He growled, though it was more a laugh. “You love riling me up, don’t you?”
“I would never do such a thing.” 
“Higher,” Remus said, nudging your arm. “Keep your feet firm. It’s got a kick.” That you didn’t need to be told. You’d already been knocked on your ass twice. “When you’re ready.” One breath. Two. The spell shot out, turquoise light hitting the dummy square in the chest. It flew back, arms flailing, and crashed against the cliff face a hundred yards away. The impact made it shatter. “That was fantastic!” 
You didn’t share his smile. It was only meant to knock them back and incapacitate a target. Not decimate it. “That would’ve killed a person.”
“Yes,” he agreed, more solemn. “A person who would have no qualms over killing you. Or anyone else. Sometimes we’ll have to make difficult decisions to protect the people we love.”
The wand in your hand seemed heavy. Magic had the ability to do so much good. And the ability to do so much evil. “I think that’s enough for today.” He let you retreat into the cottage without a fight. Where George would have spoken, Remus was silent. He let you wade in your own thoughts undisturbed.
24 December 1989
“I don’t understand,” your mother said, staring at the wall of potions. “Can they cure colds or heal wounds or regrow bones?”
You nodded eagerly, gripping her hand. You knew she’d be impressed. “All of the above! And more! I can even learn to make them! There’s also healing spells I’ll get to do when I’m older. Incredible, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Incredible.”
You sat on the stairs, head against the wall listening to them talk. Mum had been sad after you’d gotten back. You knew it because she’d gotten out her crossstitch she hadn’t touched in a year. You’d thought it was because Dad had been working and couldn’t see. But when you told her you could bring dad another day she’d said no. They’d sent you off to bed early too, claiming an early day.
“...all these medicines and treatments when just a couple drops of these potions could cure it all. They can regrow bones, Alan. And that’s just the beginning of it. And they keep it to themselves. These potions could be saving countless lives and they’re keeping it to themselves.”
3 March 1990
“The separation of our worlds keeps more Muggles safe. While we might be able to save some, if they were to be more exposed to the things of our world—like Dragon Pox or misfired spells—far more would die. Their bodies aren’t built for magical intervention. We save more by staying away.”
1 July 1990
Your parents smiled warmly, waving their arms from their spot outside one of the gift shops. You pulled your trunk along and tried to match their smiles. So much had changed since Christmas. They’d never step on Platform 9 ¾ again. It was for the best, Dumbledore had assured. It was better for them to forget about magic and the medical miracles it could perform. They’d be safer and happier that way.
Your parents wrapped you in a tight hug. “Your marks were fantastic,” your father said. “We’re so proud of you, Bug.”
— 
“They don’t remember that you’re a witch?”
Bill had found you on the floor of the room you shared, the photos Corbin had taken of your parents spread across it. You didn’t have any other photos of them. “Mum had a kid die on her after a bad car accident. She knew magic would’ve saved him. So she started reaching out to Dumbledore, refusing to believe there was no good reason to keep magic out of Muggle medicine. Not if it could save people.” Her head was thrown back in a laugh at something your father said in one of the photos. “She became a risk to the Statue of Secrecy. Dumbldore acted before the Ministry could find out. And my dad couldn’t know if mum didn’t. Too risky.”
“Where did they think you were every year?”
“Some prestigious school over in Finland. They think I’m over there now, working on a degree.”
“But they got you the farm.”
“Thought it was better than dumping money into an account in my name. An abandoned farm didn’t need upkeep.” Your fingers brushed over one of the photos of them having dinner at a restaurant they loved. When you were younger, before McGonnagal had come along, you’d go as a family every Thursday. “Sometimes I think Dumbledore’s charm worked too well. Like they forget I exist when I’m not around. I’m not sure they’ll notice if I never see them again.”
“Of course they’d notice.”
You didn’t argue. They were happier living in ignorant bliss. Just like he was. “You’re right,” you said, wiping your eyes and gathering the photos. His hands joined yours in collecting them. You smiled along as he said how much you looked like your father.
Blue smoke billowed out the cauldron. You blinked. Blue smoke. Blue smoke. Blue smoke!
George’s excited yelps sounded far away, even as he picked you up and spun you around. “We did it! We fucking did it!” 
Bill’s focus on the paper strayed as you sank to your knees in front of the couch. “What are you doing, love?”
Your fingers teased up the side of his legs. "Nothing." Your eyes locked onto his and you smiled innocently. You held them until they fluttered shut as one of your hands grazed his clothed cock that twitched from the attention. He was already hard. Fingers trailed light paths up and down his cock, his hips jerking upwards, but he didn’t say a word. The paper crumpled slightly, his knuckles going white.
"Something wrong, Bill?"
His head dropped back and the paper fell forgotten to the floor. "You're a brat, you know that?"
"Oh?" Your hand cupped his cock, rubbing the palm against it. He let out a groan.
"You want me to fuck you, is that it?"
"No," you said, "not yet." With practiced ease, your fingers undid his pants. His hips lifted so you could pull them and his boxers down to his knees. You licked your lips at the sight. "Right now I want to hear what pretty noises you can make for me." Before he could reply, your mouth wrapped around his cock. Bill cried out, hips jerking. You relaxed your jaw and added your hand to his base to help with the size.
"Fuck," he breathed, "fuck, fuck."
You sucked and bobbed. Your free hand slid along his thighs, dipping to brush against his sack every so often. He moaned and groaned. His hands clutched to the couch so tightly you were surprised it didn't rip.
"Love, I'm close," he gasped, his hips lifting. You maintained the rhythm you’d built, only deviating by using your hand to cup his balls. His cock twitched in your mouth, the tip hitting the back of your throat. His back arched as he spilled. You swallowed all of him, the salty taste familiar. You let him slip out after one last swipe of your tongue made him shiver and rested your head against his thigh, listening to him catch his breath.
"I don't know if I should be offended," you mused. "I don't think fucking me has ever made you cum that fast."
He let out a breathy laugh. "Only cause I have amazing restraint, love." His hand lifted your chin and he leaned forward. "Your mouth is wonderful," he said between slow kisses, "but your cunt is damn near enchanted." His wandering hands made his intentions clear. 
But the tell-tell pop of Apparition had him groaning, already working on tucking himself away. Considering the amount of time you’d almost been walked in on, this wasn’t nearly as bad. At least he got to finish.  Lee's voice traveled through the cracked window, "Do you need a minute to make yourselves presentable?"
"Oh they better not." George's disgusted voice rose to add, "You knew we were coming over!"
Bill's eyebrow rose and you grinned back innocently. “It’s a good thing you were quick.” A quick peck against his incoherently mumbling lips and then you stood, heading towards the bathroom. "It's safe!"
Bill was out of bed before you even sat up, wand in hand. “Stay here,” he whispered as an unfamiliar voice called out his name over the knocking. You followed. The sun hadn’t risen yet and that cottage was still dark. You stayed behind the couch as he approached the door. Wand pointed, he opened it.
Ron stood there. He looked thinner than the last time you’d seen him. His hair longer, a patchy beard on his face. Leaves and twigs clung to his clothes, there were scratches across his face, and mud caked on his shoes and the hem of his pants. 
Bill hadn’t lowered his wand. “What did Percy find in his stocking Christmas of ‘89?”
“Gnome dung,” he said, voice hoarse. “But Pettigrew would know that too. You should ask something more recent.”
Bill ignored the suggestion. He pitched forward to embrace his youngest brother, nearly sending the two of them tumbling in the sand. “And Harry? Hermione?”
“Alive, but,” his voice cracked and he clung to his brother, “I left ‘em. I left and I can’t go back.”
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