#she was 14 shots of whiskey in that night. merry christmas

[mangomaking]

may I have this dance?

no

[victoriareyloficlists]

4 February 2021 Additions to Reylo Holidays

These fics have been added to the Holiday list located here.

Christmas

Fight, Flight, or F____ by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey gets a dildo advent calendar for office secret santa. Ben is absolutely panicking, his chance with the cute girl is absolutely toast. Poe would be mad that Ben took the wrong wrapped gift from the counter this morning but he can always buy Finn a new one and this is hilarious.) The Sweater Curse in Reverse by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben are roommates. He stresses a bit when Rey starts acting strange, she gives him intense looks while she's crocheting at night and gives him lingering hugs when she comes home to dinner made. Ben fears the worst but soon finds out his roommate is up to something.) Sugar On My Tongue by allstoriesintheend (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: AU where Rey is a florist in a small town and Ben owns a bakery in the same town. They always work together for special occasions, especially weddings. Everyone in town knows they’re in love but them.) Home for the Holidays by LarirenShadow (AO3 2016  Rated T Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo Ren, in a moment of weakness, tells his mother he'll be home for Christmas and will bring his girlfriend. Problem is he doesn't have one. Enter Rey, his grad assistant. He makes a deal with her so she'll be his girlfriend for the trip home.) Brand New Bag by DhampirsDrinkEspresso (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey doesn't get along with her co-worker Ben...a co-worker who is almost Rey's ideal man and also happens to be the son of her matchmaking boss. When Rey needs help with a children's Christmas party, Ben is sent to save the day-whether he and Rey like it or not.) christmas in the city. by pyroallerdyce (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben meets Rey in a grocery store, offers to give her a ride home, and they discover they live on the same floor in the same building. They find out they have other things in common too, and maybe there is a future between the two of them.) A Reylo Christmas by Biekewieke (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: So when Leia Organa asks her Personal Assistant Rey to join her on a family vacation in Mon Torri for the holidays and highlights a big bonus, what is she to do? Only catch... Leia's son is coming along... Ben Solo is the enfant terrible of the family. Broody, sullen and with a huge chip on his shoulder, the young man is notoriously difficult.) Let's Meet Under the Mistletoe by GreyForceUser (ReyandKyloforever) (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Johnson and Ben Solo do not get along. Their first meeting was less than impressive. A change in circumstances forces Rey and Ben to work together to stage a huge black-tie Christmas party in a ridiculously short period of time. Only time will tell if they can stand each other long enough to pull it off or if the whole thing will crash and burn.) Silent Night by avidvampirehunter (AO3 2019  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo, one of the higher-ups at First Order Insurance, has spent roughly one year dreading the inevitable—falling for Rey Kenobi, one of his most mysterious and alluring employees. Little does he know that Rey herself has been fighting the same temptations, nor that she may be losing the will to even try. When he ends up drawing her name for the annual Secret Santa gift exchange, the merciless hand of fate pushes them together through the storm raging outside—and in their hearts.) Merry (Fuzzy) and Bright by JaneNightwork (AO3 2019  Rated M Complete, 25 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: One night Ben finds a dog abandoned on his doorstep. She's cold, scared, and pregnant. Ben takes her to a nearby vet clinic and meets the beautiful veterinarian Rey, who promises to help him be the best caregiver the dog and her puppies could ask for. Throughout the holiday season Ben and Rey fall in love with the puppies and, of course, each other.) daylight by sparklylulz (sparklyulz) (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Coffee shop employee Rey has a run in with one of the difficult professors. Thus starts a very turbulent friendship until Ben needs a fake date to go with him to see his parents, the first time he's seen his parents in a while.) The Trail Bride by SecretReyloTrash (BadOldWest) (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 47 Chapters, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Niima finds herself in a perilous situation when her husband dies at the start of their journey West. From the few bachelors on the trail in her party; she attaches herself to the best of her options. That option is the mysterious Banker Ben Solo.) Something About November Chapter 18 by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2019  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Ben's adopted daughter finds a box of love letters he wrote and never sent, she decides she wants him happy for Christmas. With help from her Aunt Gwen, she sends her the letters.) The Fake Boyfriend Problem by INTPSlytherin_reylove97 (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rose accidently tells her parents her roommate Rey was bringing her boyfriend for Christmas, instead of telling them she was bringing her own boyfriend Finn, the girls run into an interesting problem.) How to Keep Christmas by JaneNightwork (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 26 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben have had feelings for each other since she began teaching at Chandrila Elementary School earlier that year, but neither knows their affection is mutual. Rey plans to use the the Christmas season––her favorite time of year––as an excuse to spend more time with Ben, and to find a way to tell him how she feels. But can she convince the Grinch-ish Ben to enjoy Christmas with her? Equally important: will her friends Finn, Poe, and Rose be able to stop themselves from matchmaking and meddling and general mischief?) Twas the night before Sithmas... by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is alone...and he likes it that way. What more does he need on Christmas eve? He has his whiskey and his bitterness to keep him warm. But Christmas magic can do wonderful things, and a visit from a mystical being throws Ben into a world very different from the one he knew. A world were he is married to the love of his life, he is close to his family and a little boy with dark eyes calls him Daddy. But is it all a dream? Or will Ben really get everything he has ever wanted this Christmas?) Blame it on the Mistletoe by deedreamer, HopelesslyReylo (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Wilson doesn’t necessarily hate Christmas, it’s just that she’s never really enjoyed it. It’s too over the top, too full of the same repetitive music and consumerism. That’s not to say she doesn’t enjoy some things about the holiday... So when her new boss —and secret crush— Ben Solo catches her singing in her office, she lies to avoid looking like a grinch. Now she’s agreed to spend the holiday with him and his over-the-top Christmas fanatic family.) Crash my Bandicoot by KyloTrashForever (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben has lived next door to Rey for ten years now, and he’s been in love with her for most of them. A Christmas break with no one but themselves for company leaves a lot of time for Crash Bandicoot sessions... among other things.) Valentine’s Day

Love's Mystery by Hartmannclan (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, 14 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo only needs one lady in his life; his daughter, Hope. So he is surprised to find himself intrigued by the masked woman who just spilled a drink down the front of his costume. Maybe this year the company Valentine's day dance won't be so boring after all? And what happens when he has to leave suddenly.....) No Chance, No Way by AttackoftheDarkCurses (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Just as Rey's decided to give up on love, she gets partnered to co-write Valentine's themed articles with the office grump, who... maybe isn't such a grump.) Valentine's Day by PropertyOfThaJoker (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The cat immediately came to Rey, who immediately held it. “He can’t be more than five weeks old, Ben. He’s a baby. It’s cold out here – he’ll freeze to death. We have to take him home.”) How Much Can Kylo Ren Endure This Christmas by reylology (AO3 2017  Rated M Complete, 10 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: As the CEO of the number one commercial enterprise in New York City, Kylo Ren would think that bringing home a girl for his parents to meet should be the least of his concerns. But when a phone call with his mother takes an absurd, aggravating turn, he finds himself shoved headfirst into a lie. Desperate to prove his parents wrong, Kylo would do anything in order to see the shocked looks on their faces. Even if it means seeking help from the random girl that had just walked into his office for a job interview.) The Best Medicine by Cecilia1204 (AO3 2019  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Being stuck in hospital for Christmas was enough to make Ben Solo feel really down in the dumps. That is, until he meets two angels in the form of Rey and her amazing cat.) Halloween

Closet Encounters Of The Thirsty Kind by ReyloBrit (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey dislikes Ben. Ben dislikes Rey. Funny, then, that people keep thinking they've come to this party together, and unfortunate that when cops raid the party, there's only one place to hide. And it's such a cramped and confined place too.) Anything to Win by Erulisse17 (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey hates losing. She hates losing almost more than she loves winning. Which is why she's in the ridiculous position of asking Kylo Ren, the very person who keeps beating her at the singles costume contest, to team up with her to dominate the couples contest and trounce Phasma and Hux once and for all. Working with Kylo is a necessary evil, but really, she'd do anything to win. Anything! Unless... it's falling in love.) Thanksgiving

Trouble for Thanksgiving by Biekewieke (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 40 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Kenobi's temporary work visa is about to expire. She needs her boss' signature on her renewal application to get the extension she desperately wants and needs. Only her boss, the infamous Ben Solo, is an asshole. He's notoriously difficult and she knows this firsthand. Nevertheless, she needs his signature on those papers if she wants to avoid being deported by the end of the year... So when Rey tells her about her looming deportation, he finds a way to bend the situation to suit his own needs. Except, for the first time in his adult life, things don't go exactly as planned when he takes her home for the holidays...) I Wanna Hold Your Hand by SageMcMae (AO3 2019  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: To escape Thanksgiving dinner with his mother, author Ben Solo travels to Verona, and hides away in his publisher’s villa. While wandering the city, he discovers Casa di Giulietta and the statue contained within. Some believe touching her will bring you luck in love. Others believe that when her soulmate touches her, she will come to life. Ben doesn’t believe in any of it. Until an accidental brush of his hand results in an empty statue podium and him catching a very confused, very irritated woman in his arms.)

[askthescp-4050-instances]

Laws in America probably caused by Adrian

Alabama It is illegal to drive a car blindfolded. Bear wrestling matches are prohibited. It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy. It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty. You must have windshield wipers on your car. You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday. Dominoes may not be played on Sunday. It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death. Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile. No person may spit on the floor of a church. It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area.

Alaska While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited. It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

Arizona Hunting camels is prohibited. Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. It is a Class 2 misdemeanor if one places a mark upon a flag which is “likely to provoke physical retaliation”. It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine. When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses. It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water. You may not have more than two dildos in a house. No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house. One must be 18 years old to buy spray paint.

Arkansas It’s strictly prohibited to pronounce “Arkansas” incorrectly. Oral sex is considered to be sodomy. Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. It is illegal to kill “any living creature”. No one may "suddenly start or stop" their car at a McDonald's. It is considered disturbing the peace if you honk near a sandwich shop after 9:00 PM. Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term. It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.

California You may only throw a frisbee at the beach in Los Angeles County, CA with the lifeguard’s permission. Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. Bathhouses are against the law. Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows. It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds.

Colorado One may not mutilate a rock in a state park. It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence. Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses. Throwing missles at cars is illegal. Establishments which sell alcohol must have enough lighting to read text inside them. Catapults may not be fired at buildings. It is legal to challenge a police officer, but only until he or she asks you to stop. It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property. Boulders may not be rolled on city property. It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.

Connecticut Town records may not be kept where liquor is sold. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway. It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display. You aren’t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands. You may not educate dogs. The use of a bean whistle in public is prohibited. Silly string is banned.

Delaware “R” rated movies shall not be shown at drive-in theaters. One may not lay down on the beach at night. You may not change clothes in their car. It is illegal to have a picnic on a highway. No person shall pretend to sleep on a bench on the boardwalk.

Florida The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages. One may not commit any “unnatural acts” with another person. Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and live together in the same residence. Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense. It is illegal to sell your children. Oral sex is illegal. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

Georgia You cannot live on a boat for more than 30 days during the calendar year, even if just passing through the state. The term “sadomasochistic abuse” is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit. All sex toys are banned. It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office. Signs are required to be written in English. All citizens must own a rake. If you want to read your favorite book in public to your friends, do it before 2:45 AM. Goldfish may not be given away to entice someone to enter a game of bingo. Owners of mules may not allow their animal to roam around Athens unsupervised. Persons under the age of 16 may not play pinball after 11:00 PM. It is illegal for one to make a disturbing sound at a fair.

Hawaii Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears.

Idaho You may not fish on a camel’s back. Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime. Residents may not fish from a giraffe’s back. If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car. Bicycles are not allowed in the tennis courts. The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless some are exhibited to public view.

Illinois It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe’s neck. Kites may not be flown within the city limits. It is forbidden by law to eat in a place that is on fire. It is illegal to hang “obstructions” form the rear view mirror, including fuzzy dice, air fresheners, GPS units, etc. In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb. It is illegal to give a dog whiskey. It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.

Indiana Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day. State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post. Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans. Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide. It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public. One may not sniff glue.

Iowa It is a crime to use a dead person’s handicapped parking sign or license plate. Kisses may last for no more than five minutes. It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp. Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. One must obtain written permission from the City Council before throwing bricks into a highway. All softball diamond lights must be turned off by 10:30 PM.

Kansas Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats. It is illegal to drive one's car through a parade. No one may sing the alphabet on the streets at night.

Kentucky Dogs may not molest cars.

Louisiana You will be fined $500 for sending people a surprise pizza “Fake” wrestling matches are prohibited. Spectators at a boxing match may not mock one of the contestants. You can be jailed for up to ten years for stealing an alligator. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. Biting someone with your natural teeth is “simple assault,” while biting someone with your false teeth is “aggravated assault”. It is illegal to gargle in public places. It is illegal to shoot lasers at police officers. One may not “dare” another to go onto railroad tracks owned by another. It is illegal to steal a “movable” even if it classified as an “immovable”. Rituals that involve the ingestion of blood, urine, or fecal matter are not allowed. One could land in jail for up to a year for making a false promise. Every time a person is seriously burned, he must report the injury to the fire marshal. Prisoners who hurt themselves could serve an additional two years in jail. No one may pour a drink out on the ground at any drive-in movie.

Maine You may not step out of a plane in flight. After January 14th, you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up. Strolling down the street while playing a violin is against the law. No person may roller skate on a sidewalk. It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window. It is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts. Dog leashes may not be over eight feet in length. Advertisements may not be placed in cemeteries.

Maryland It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies. You may not curse inside the city limits. It is illegal to use profane language on a playground. Persons may not swear while on the highway. Citizens may not swim in the public fountains within the city limits.

Massachusetts It is illegal to give beer to hospital patients. Shooting ranges may not set up targets that resemble human beings. At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches. Quakers and witches are banned. Bullets may not be used as currency. Taxi drivers are prohibited from "making love" in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts. No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.

Michigan Persons may not be drunk on trains. It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber. It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house. Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony. Couples are banned from "making love" in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple’s own property. Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited. It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose.

Minnesota It is illegal to stand around any building without a good reason to be there. A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head. It is illegal to sleep naked. Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head. Airplanes may not be landed in city parks. Placing tacks on a sidewalk is considered a public nuisance.

Mississippi No one may bribe any athlete to “rig” a game, match, tournament, etc. One may be fined up to $100 for using “profane language” in public places.

Missouri Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants. No person may have a “yard sale” in their front yard. No person may own a PVC pipe.

Montana It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. No person shall raise pet rats. It is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket at city council proceedings. Bands who play in clubs where alcohol is served may not leave the stage while performing. It is illegal to use speed-dial in the city phone system. Worrying squirrels will not be tolerated. It is illegal to annoy passersby on sidewalks with a revolving water sprinkler. The game of “folf” may not be played at night. No item may be thrown across a street.

Nebraska Drivers on mountains should drive with caution near the right hand edge of the highway. (There are no mountains in Nebraska) It is illegal to fly a plane while drunk. It is Illegal to go whale fishing. It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

Nevada It is illegal to sit or lie down on sidewalks It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property. An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. Benches may not be placed in the middle of any street.

New Hampshire You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt. At White Mountain National Forest, if a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for "maintaining the national forest without a permit".

New Jersey Handcuffs may not be sold to minors. It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder. It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.

New Mexico "Idiots" are banned from voting Nudity is allowed, provided that male genitals are covered. Women may walk in public topless provided they have their nipples covered. Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery. You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.

New York It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun. The penalty for jumping off a building is death. During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks. Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.

North Carolina Oral sex is considered a crime against nature. It’s against the law to sing off key. It is a felony to steal more than $1000 of grease. It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard. Persons in possession of illegal substances must pay taxes on them. Organizations may not hold their meetings while the members present are in costume. Bingo games may not last over 5 hours unless it is held at a fair. Serving alcohol at a bingo game is not allowed.

North Dakota Playing bingo while drunk is a Class 2 misdemeanor. You cannot shoot fireworks after 11 PM. Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

Ohio It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance. No civil arrests may be made on Sunday or on the Fourth of July. Illegal to sell dyed chickens. It is illegal to get a fish drunk. Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited. If one loses their pet tiger, they must notify the authorities within one hour.

Oklahoma One may not promote a “horse tripping event”. It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo. It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle. Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus. People who make “ugly faces” at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.

Oregon It is illegal to go hunting in a cemetery. Drivers must yield to pedestrians who are standing on the sidewalk. One may not test their physical endurance while driving a car on a highway. It is illegal to place a container filled with human fecal matter on the side of any highway. Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car. A door on a car may not be left open longer than is necessary. An adult may not show a minor any piece of classical artwork which depicts sexual excitement. It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property. Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license. It’s illegal to walk down a sidewalk and knock a snakes head off with your cane. You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.

Pennsylvania It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding. It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish. A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel. Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk. No more than two packages of beer at a time may be purchased, unless you are buying from an official “beer distributor”. Persons convicted of felonies may not operate Bingo games.

Rhode Island Cap guns are illegal. Ropes may not be strung across a highway. No one may bite off another person's leg. Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void. It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley. It is illegal to wear transparent clothing.

South Carolina It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide. You cannot play pinball if you are a minor. A permit must be obtained to fire a missle.

South Dakota It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

Tennessee It is illegal to share your Netflix password. It is illegal to to post images online that cause emotional distress without legitimate purpose. Any person who participates in a duel may not hold any public office in the state. Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law. You can’t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. Hollow logs may not be sold. It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. “Crimes against nature” are prohibited. The definition of “dumb animal” includes every living creature. It is illegal to place tacks on a highway. Skunks may not be carried into the state.

Texas You cannot sell a human eye. A felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos. It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket. It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind. It is illegal to possess realistic dildos.

Utah No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call. It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. Alcohol may not be sold during an emergency. It is illegal to cause a catastrophe. Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine.

Vermont It is illegal to deny the existence of God.

Virginia You cannot go trick-or-treating if you are over 12 years old.

Washington The harassing of Bigfoot, Sasquatch or other undiscovered subspecies is a felony punishable by a fine and/or imprisonment. It is illegal to attach a vending machine to a utility pole without prior consent from the utility company. X-rays may not be used to fit shoes.

West Virginia Whistling underwater is prohibited. For each act of public swearing a person shall be fined one dollar.

Wisconsin It is a class A misdemeanor to wave a burning torch around in the air.

Wyoming Using a firearm to fish is strictly forbidden.