#she used to work at a food bank and now works at a zoo

[wallabywannabe]

My sister works in non-profit fundraising, and her biggest complaint is that donors (admittedly, mostly big donors that like strings attached and their name or company promoted) want their money to make a "direct" impact. Which sounds good, but they don't think about the operating costs it takes to distribute that impact.

It takes more than just food to run a food bank. It takes space. It takes people working full-time jobs that need to make a living wage so they can distribute the food, reach out to donors, run the finances, manage volunteers, make the food accessible to the people who need it. It takes people doing publicity and keeping websites running, and other things that I can't think of immediately but are still vital to the mission.

There are charities that are sketchy out there and you should do a little vetting before donating, but all charities have operating costs that are not optional. And almost no one working at a nonprofit does it for the money, since wages are always lower than for the same job at a for-profit company.

Doc, what are the top five items food banks LOVE to receive? I'm doing a collection soon and want to ask for specifics.

MONEY. WE WANT MONEY. MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY. WE CAN DO SO MUCH WITH IT. WE HAVE ACCESS TO DEALS YOU COULD NEVER. MONEY

That aside.

 I’m only going to talk about food items but if your food bank takes personal items, a lot of times diapers, feminine hygiene products, etc, are very very welcome. 

1) Canned chicken and beef 

looooooove this stuff. It’s expensive, it lasts forever, it tastes good and it can be used a variety of ways. This stuff is fucking catnip to food banks, it’s so hard for us to provide proteins. 

2) Fancy nut butters

Peanut butter is a standby for food banks as a shelf-stable inexpensive protein, but if we have a family with a kid with a peanut allergy that’s not going to work. Non-peanut butters are expensive and it’s something we hardly ever see donated. (we also like peanut butter, but that’s easier for us to buy ourselves than non-peanut butters)

3) Canned or packaged tuna

You may notice a trend here in shelf-stable proteins. And yeah. That’s basically it, so I’m not going to keep harping on it. But this stuff is a godsend. 

4) Easy breakfast things for kids (Granola bars, instant oatmeal, and the like) 

Whatever Donald Trump tells you, most people who get food from food banks are actually working their asses off and so they have to leave Obama to raise their baby or whatever, and they don’t have a lot of time in the morning. Things like this that kids can make for themselves are expensive. (Another trend you may be noticing–donate shit that costs a lot of money. That helps us more than all the shitty green bean cans in the world) But they are so helpful for busy working families where the parents may not have a set schedule and sometimes little Amanda is making her own breakfast before she runs off to school. Don’t let kids go to school hungry. 

5) Shelf-stable juice

This is one people never think of! But if you show up with a bunch of (preferably reduced sugar stuff) bottles of juice at my door, oh man, you are gonna get so many check mark and okay hand emoticons. This stuff is great for kids, and it doesn’t require refrigeration until it’s opened, so it works great for food drives. 

[beardedmrbean]

The search for an escaped capybara which fled a zoo four days ago is continuing "around the clock".

Cinnamon fled her habitat at Hoo Zoo and Dinosaur World in Telford on Friday and entered woodlands within the zoo grounds.

The last sighting of her was on Saturday, after she managed to get beyond the perimeter fence.

Zoo owner Will Dorrell said he believed Cinnamon had made it to the Humber Brook river, near the attraction's northern boundary, where "she's probably living her best life".

A mass search of the Humber Brook area will take place on Tuesday evening, with the help of a local thermal camera drone operator and keepers from the zoo.

Cinnamon escaped when keepers entered the capybara enclosure to mow the paddock, as she was hidden in long grass near the gate, Mr Dorrell said.

When the gate was opened, she slipped around the side of a tractor to leave the enclosure.

"Our two young capybara here are always trying to work out a different way of trying to cause us headaches," Mr Dorrell said.

"They’re extremely intelligent which a lot of people might not necessarily appreciate.

"She seemed to know what we were going to do and was waiting there ready for that gate to be opened."

While a capybara has never escaped from the zoo before, Mr Dorrell said one managed to dig under a fence to get into an ostrich enclosure a few years ago, but quickly realised she wanted to come back.

Mr Dorrell told the BBC that Cinnamon was not at imminent risk but staff wanted to know where she was so they could bring her back to the zoo and reunite her with her family.

"Right opposite us there's loads of marshland and riverways, that's why we strongly suspect that she's there," he said.

"In the wild they're fantastic swimmers and they'll live on river banks, then whenever they feel threatened they just run into the water and can stay in there for hours at a time."

"We're working round the clock at the moment trying to find her," he said.

Capybaras are native to South America and are the largest living rodents in the world.

Cinnamon was born at the zoo alongside brother Churro, and is now around one year old.

Mr Dorrell said the pair "stuck together" but that Churro was doing fine as their parents still live with them.

"But obviously it would be nice to reunite them," he said.

Cinnamon has not been spotted since Saturday, where she was seen on Humber Lane.

She was also spotted on Friday night via the zoo's trail cameras and almost went back to her enclosure, but was not close enough for keepers to do anything.

The public have been urged to report sightings to the zoo, but not to approach her for fear of scaring her and driving her further way.

"She's very very tame, she wouldn't hurt anyone, she's just very likely to be timid," Mr Dorrell said.

"If it goes on [much] longer, she's not at imminent risk. She can very comfortably survive the weather, even though they prefer it a bit warmer, and locally there's loads of food and habitat."

[mydyspraxiablog]

I having bit promble living independence life because haven't got one any more mum won't give mobie because of scarm and upset me because ever where I join all want mobie phone Stafford 3UA,Coelicuk download app for Gluten free food ,Dyspraxia foundation want me down app now Compassionuk all want down app and haven't got Mobie phone even friendships of chalet school and Trefoil guild all want me have mobie phone I feeling lost my independence on wost that scarm of ruin my life because haven't got Natwest card mum won't let do anything so really losing fight with her she can be stubborn. Reson way be few emails from UPS ,Royal mail saying got parcel need £1 postage even phone up saying been near with covid need £1 for postage for form and stolen all money out bank account get way with murder. Now lost my independence I not only got dyspraxia I got Coelic with mean on Gluten free food and it can be very expensive but now haven't got Natwest card and fed up bring £60 for Penkridge Market and price gone up haven't noughting so buy one jacket potatoes and half potatoes with cheese and beans with mum too. As for shopping Sainburry,Asda,Tesco use me £25 for delivery now £70 and don't let shopping because don't like people paid in cashing want you use your cards or if paid cash no staff paid you money too on till because short off staff so end up put my shopping down walk out with out shopping because haven't got Natwest card and upset once again missing my independence but noughting can do about because Natwest bank is tell table bank.

So fighting back by free sample with out postage only use money for EA Play for Sims 4 and Sims 3 but like play Foster challenge on Sims 4 but google drive,misoft want paid money for playing sims 4 even but Sims 4 and Sims 3 on D drive because Foster mob won't work on Sims 4.

So give money to charities instead one charities I have done is Compassionuk at sponder a child in name of Jesus but secert doing sponder plus too at secert too.

So if going out have wear sunflower landyard card with dyspraxia on but mum hate me wear them because got her mobie phone.

I wish could do English and math crouse back in Stafford college I want do English in Stoke on trent college but mum won't let me going Stoke on trent college because covid city at movent.

I feeling not doing Trefoil Guild jigsaw badge because not really get back to active and I feeling fail there.

So decide this year ask God for help at movent and as month not obey silly rules of made by man idot men. I want sponder child on Christmas day who was born on Christmas day or on my birthday 24 March but don't want uk family not miss Christmas and don't want Ethiopia Compassion to miss out gift in there church do want my sponder child get birthday gift and Christmas gift but with Facebook do fake charity it hard know which charity to just Sorry Facebook but you do I tell as it. Really want money going really charity not fake charity.

Now dream off going chalie cafe and sponder one there cat 🐈 to keep Sydnee and Annabel ledge too still cats are my favourite animals but do want dog and cat but at movent want going holiday in future but haven't decided where going give up on dream going crusie because can't swimming in deep water at movent so going on coach trip to going on float Hotel instead but don't know which coach company that was but not worry about that.

I really want going Animal Zoo, and Sea life, Have second home in Turkey but won't happon.

[k2iwios]

sum jujutsu kaisen headcanons !!

ft. toji, gojo, itadori, nobara, megumi, inumaki, yuuta, maki, geto, sukuna, and nanami

warnings : curse words here and there, slightly suggestive content on toji & gojo's part, mentions of blood on yuuta's part (related to exterminating curses), mentions of alcohol on nanami's part (related to his drink preference)

fluff, light and funny, with a dribble of angst - just a bit tho! hehe :>>

toji !

i have a feeling papa fushiguro would hate being called daddy-

i'm sorry he'd think it's weird 😭😭

and it reminds him of the two kids he left behind 💔

he prefers just being called toji but is secretly a sucker for pet names

too embarrassed to admit it tho, cuz he likes to assert dominance 🥴🥴

gojo !

scams feet pics on onlyfans 💀💀

payment first then BOOM content unlocked but it's a picture of ants on some shaggy park bench-

gets reported 1000 times but still managed to bribe the company to un-ban him by sending thirst traps 🤨

orrr sending heck amount of cash in suitcases — like mobs in the movies

itadori !

does dance covers of kpop groups and posts them on tiktok 💘

hella good moves too!

he'll ask nobara's help to edit the vids, maybe even pay a professional (this happened at least once lol)

other than dance content, itadori's also famous for movie & food reviews which usually involve nobara and megumi cuz they're opposites (in terms of personality and all)

having opinions from two different kinds of people makes his reviews trusted

nobara !

does journaling

it helps expressing her sometimes wild emotions

most of the pages are pictures of maki 😃😃😃

and paragraphs of how she'd destroy the whole world if anything happens to her

nobara's hammer isn't customized

she happens to walk by an antique store and found a pretty hammer with a red heart carving on it!

megumi !

has the best skincare routine & products on GOD.

like, fr have you seen this boy??

so so pretty.

nobara would pester and beg him to spill his skincare routine

but he refuses to answer 💀💀

so nobara stole everything in megumi's bathroom cabinet and tried all of the products.

megumi always drinks room temperature water with two ice cubes

inumaki !

inumaki... loves reading fanfics and BL mangas 🥴🥴

maybe he's gay, maybe he's not, but inumaki loves a soft, fluffy BL story!

inumaki buys a lot of stationery items despite rarely using them

but he does carry around a cute small notepad with a shiba inu drawing on it and a monster's inc sulley pen in case he's too lazy to pull out his phone or in case his phone died

inumaki would beg gojo to bring him to disneyland and uses gojo's card to buy bags of souvenirs

his favorite is the toy story hamm (the piggy bank) hat/headcover. here's a reference photo :

yuuta !

lowkey hates getting his clothes dirty from blood

one of the reasons why he wears a white uniform is to prove how clean he is at killing curses (smooth boi)

yuuta gets away with buying alcohol without showing an id thanks to his sleep-deprived eyes even though he's not actually sleep deprived

that's just how he's built.

ps : no, the alcohol's not for him but for gojo and shoko 🤺🤺🤺

maki !

secretly names all her weapons and talks to them (which is cute imo 🤍)

but not to nobara cuz now she's thinking ‘WHO TF IS MAKI-SAN TAKING TO?? I'LL BEAT THEIR ASSESS’

*loud stomping noises*

only to discover maki talking to a sword 😃

okay now this woman is so fucking talented she's never even once broke her glasses.

no broken lens, no broken frame, no broken anything

the one time she changed her glasses is at the end of her first year. she wanted a new and bold style

panda !

goes rampage at a zoo once, just to scare people

those zap/tazer sticks doesn't work on him and it scared the workers. neither does tranquilizer guns

panda ran out of there and went to a ramen restaurant

then went grocery shopping — bought veggies and fruits — went back to the zoo and feed the animals

the zoo was closed for a month due to that catastrophe 💀💀💀

geto !

kinda dislikes his outfit but wears it anyways as a fashion statement

it has so many layers?? he feels like roasted turkey underneath all that 😭

after taking a different path, he knows he and gojo will lose each other

so he tried everything to hate his best friend but couldn't come to it no matter what

still kept pictures of the group — him, gojo, and shoko — and places it beside his bed (i'm sorry it turned kinda angsty 😫)

okay here, geto never hits on/flirt w people but is still a heart robber — thanks to his man bun

idk but i'm convinced he sprays the bathroom with disinfectant & perfume after taking a shit 💀💀💀

likes opening up the fridge for absolutely no reason.

sometimes he opens the freezer door and just stands/sits in front of it

headcanon that geto's favorite weather is winter then shoko beats his ass (cuz shoko likes spring & cherry blossoms and hates winter cuz the trees looks like bones)

sukuna !

does manicure

them wierdass nails are cared for.

his nails are originally black

it's not nail polish.

sukuna hates itadori's body cuz it makes him shorter than he actually is

sukuna is the reason why itadori uses deodorant

threatened to stop his heart if he doesn't use them

creates art using the bones in his domain

he's bored okay ☹️

nanami !

his fridge is rather empty because nanami prefers takeouts (since work drains his energy)

there's probably milk, butter, some leftovers, and strawberries (yes, headcanon nanami loves strawberries!! 🤍)

but he can cook tho and is surprisingly good AMAZING at it!

nanami's perfume always catches people's attention

it's the scent of soft white musk

nanami visits dog shelters often! and recommends his acquaintances (who are interested in owning a pet) to adopt dogs/other animals instead of buying them.

okay, nanami loves visiting the aquarium. it's therapeutic seeing little fishies 🤍🤍

nanami especially loves seals and siamese fish (god, please give me a nanami) 😞💘

and apparently,, nanami dislikes coffee!

his favorite drink is alcohol (he's canonically a heavy drinker) and hot chocolate 🍻

likes and reblogs are appreciated! 🤍🤍

© k2iwios — do not copy, steal, or translate my work. publishing them to other platforms are also prohibited.

[bluboothalassophile]

Galas

The next time Damian asked Raven to join him undercover, she was saying no, because this… this was not undercover, this was fucking business! Goddamn him, he had dragged her out to a Wayne Family Gala, a gala for World Wildlife Fund! It wasn’t even an actual mission, it was a fucking date, and she was going to have him singing soprano when she was done with him, fucking bastard.

She wanted to scream, tear out her hair, kick his ass, but also hand over her bank account; she supported conservation and zoos, and she did have a similar love of animals that Damian had if not as… extreme. Still, it wasn’t okay, in her opinion, that he had dragged her out here, under the pretenses of undercover work, she was going to kick his ass. She was.

“You look terribly bored,” a voice drawled as she leaned against the bar, trying to get out of this gala.

“I am terribly bored,” Raven admitted as her head fell back, looking at the man, her heart stuttered though under his gaze. He was the hottest, and most dangerous man she had ever seen. But the way he was looking at her, and she was feeling, it was like he had set her blood afire, and she shuddered a bit under his heated gaze as she clenched her thighs. Fuck, he was hot, and no man had her lusting after him in a mere look. Not even her celebrity crushes.

“And how did you get brought here, little bird?”

“Because a jackass with a crush lied to me and faced getting me on a date,” she sneered.

“I take you don’t like the bloke back?” he ventured.

“As a friend yes, as more, no, he’s like my brother,” she sighed.

“That’s terrible…” he grimaced. “I’m Jay,” he held out his hand.

“Rae,” she answered with the short nickname reflexively as they shook. She shuddered as her empathy picked up the waves of his sexual attraction to her, and it had her clenching her thighs harder, she could feel his lust and it was breathtaking. Fuck, she wanted him, wanted to have him, and he was so fucking hot.

“Rae,” he smiled a he said her name low and husky. “Well, as neither of us particularly want to be here, want to get out of here?” he asked huskily.

“And what would you propose instead?” she asked curiously.

“Well… we are at the zoo…”

“We are,” she agreed.

“We should enjoy it, and then I’ll take you to dinner,” he offered.

“Going to treat me like a lady?”

“You look like a lady, and if I want to by pass being treated like a lady?”

“I have a hotel around the corner, we can come do the food and zoo later,” he offered.

She let him lead her out of the gala with that promise in mind, because she wanted him, she so desperately wanted him, and she had never wanted anyone like she wanted Jay. They made it to one of the more upscale hotels, she wasn’t sure how they had gotten there, but she did remember being pressed up into the corner of the elevator as Jay’s mouth crashed onto hers’ and she moaned as she kissed him harder as she moaned lowly. He pushed the sides of her dress away from her hips, the slit now gave him access as his thigh pressed hard between her legs. She rolled her hips, moaning as his lust built her own, he groaned.

“You’re soaked,” he muttered.

“You’re hard,” she murmured.

A feral sound broke from his lips as the elevator ding’d and they both hurried off.

[rai-knightshade-art]

I seem to be on a "fave media x 80's cult classic" kick right now (there'll be a Sailor Moon x Back to the Future post sometime in the future), so let's have my latest combo: the Young Jedi Knights Squad (Jaina, Jacen, Zekk, Tenel Ka, and Raynar) as The Breakfast Club! Aka a fanfic that i will never write and yet so desperately want to see written i already made Fanart for it. Go figure. Anyways have some iconic scenes from the movies!

Close Ups and a description of each of the "club" members below the cut, image IDs in the alt text!

The Players:

Zekk is, obviously, the "delinquent"; he's an orphan, he has to work and scrounge up his food and clothes, he pulls harebrained schemes for the adrenaline rush--he's a teacher's (specifically Brakiss's) worst nightmare. Of course, that's not all he is; he's got a key mind for mechanics and technology, helped by his scrap searching; he stays out at all hours because he doesn't like being home alone (his guardian Peckham, who he loves like family, is often away as a truck driver, and it gets lonely in their little house without him); he's kindhearted, and fiercely loyal, he just doesn't want to let anyone in out of fear of losing them, or that they won't like what they see....

Jaina is the "princess"; the only daughter of the Governor, she's been groomed to play nice and hang out with the other children of politicians and CEOs since she was just a little girl. Nowadays they form her primary group of friends, the most popular kids in school, looked up to--or down upon-- by their peers in equal measure. And... She kinda hates it. She stays with them only out of obligation, to make her mother's life easier, but she doesn't particularly care about any of them and doesn't even particularly enjoy their company; it's all drama and gossip and a revolving cacophony of dating and breaking up and bitter exes and rivalries and she is sick of it. She would much rather be spending her time at her dad's auto shop, getting her hands dirty tuning up engines and changing oil and bonding with Han. She can't tell anyone that tho, it would ruin her reputation...

Jacen is the "jock"; the twin brother of Jaina, he also feels a certain pressure to stay in with the popular crowd. He achieves this by being captain of the fencing team; it's no star quarterback position but it is still respectable among his peers. Fencing isn't his true passion, tho; he'd much rather be spending all his time at the local animal shelters, or assisting at the zoo. He's an animal lover through and through, but it's something he hides from his "friends" so that they don't have reason to shun him for being a "sissy." He knows there's nothing ignoble about his hobby, but they don't know that....

Tenel Ka is, for lack of a better term, the "weirdo"; she comes from somewhere called Dathomir, from a culture of fierce warrior women, and boy, does she act like it. She will readily duel anyone who looks at her wrong, she eats entire animal legs for lunch, and she never seems to show much emotion.... Ever. Add to that her missing arm (which no one knows the truth about btw, rumors fly about it being anything from a childhood accident to one of her duels gone wrong), and she cuts an intimidating figure that most students avoid. Is there more to her than that? Oh is there. Is there ever.

Raynar Thul is the final member of the crew; he's the "trust fund baby" that hangs out with a very specific clique that even Jaina and Jacen aren't a part of. He comes across as snobbish and standoffish, unwilling to dabble with anyone "lesser". This is a front, however; he projects this persona because it's what his parents expect from him, and he doesn't want word getting back to them about what he actually does: extensive volunteer work. Raynar has a drive to help people, and has been trying to use his privilege all through high school to do just that, by volunteering at food banks and for highway clean up, and donating as much of his allowance as physically possible where he can. In fact, it's how he met his girlfriend Lusa, but that's a whole other can of worms...

[ratsoh-writes]

Boys reaction upon finally seeing an actual whale or dolphin?:3

Alright, fun fact: the majority of the monsters that were stuck behind the barrier were born and raised there. So these boys had never seen the ocean, skyscrapers, (non-monster) planes, and certain animals like elephants, whales and such.

It blew a lot of monsters minds the first thing they visited a zoo, or any of the world wonders.

So how about some random “firsts” for the main guys instead?

Sans: *first time seeing the planet Mars* even before the surface, sans had always been interested in astronomy. He blames it on the fifth grade text book he found in the dump as a child. Seeing the night sky after getting to the surface was amazing of course, but then frisk took him up to a vantage point with a proper telescope. Sans cried that night. It’s his and frisk’s secret

Papyrus: *first time meeting a dolphin*. After a year or so on the surface, a few places would sell tickets to monsters including this one aquarium. Of course papyrus immediately wanted to go and was entranced by the dolphin show. And even though he wasn’t in the splash zone, he still got nailed. He wasn’t the least bit mad

Star: *first time riding a horse*. Due to his cute looks and charismatic personality, Star had an easier time getting a job than most monsters. He was actually recommended to the police program by a new friend after working as a janitor at the station for a few months. In training, one thing he had to learn was to ride a horse. Especially since they’re used for SAR. He was so nervous, and kept spooking the poor things with his loud voice. Now it’s habit for Star to speak in a “whisper” whenever a horse is near

Honey: *first time speaking Spanish* most of his languages he picked up on the surface, but Spanish was one that honey was near fluent in underground. His undyne had found several old drama vhs tapes but they were in Spanish. Wanting to know what the actors were saying is what got honey into translating. He was picking up lunch for his brother when this little old Mexican lady came up to him and asked where the food goes when he eats it, in Spanish of course. Before her daughter could translate and apologize, honey replied back not realizing he was speaking the same language. The grandma was so excited to meet a monster who knew Spanish that she chatted his ear off for near and hour

Red: *first time driving a truck*. Red has always liked cars. He collected old car magizines from the dump. And he taught himself to drive illegally way before monsters could get licenses on the surface lol. He had been practicing on this junky old Honda Civic before. But after monsters could legally drive, the first thing he tested at a dealership was a huge pickup. After that red was a changed man. He didn’t buy the car, but he vowed that any car he owned he would find a way to make drive like the truck. And thus started his love for car repair

Edge: *first time in a restaurant*. After monsters were let out of the mountains, groups of them would be assigned a human guide to help integrate them. Edge’s guide was a huge foodie. The first place he took edge too was The Macaroni Factory because edge let slip that he liked lasagna. After tasting actually good food for the first time, edge was a changed man. It also helped that red made him take human cooking classes

Mal: *first time having an apartment*. Underground, mal and cash lived in an alleyway underneath a tent made from discarded fence and a tarp. Sure they sometimes had an actual room, but it never lasted any longer than a week or two at most. Between their jobs and cash’s addiction, they barely made enough to eat regularly. And the sad bit is that they were doing better than most monsters. A scholarship from the surface coupled with two back to back jobs and his brother in rehab made it possible for mal to move out and get his own place. He went a little crazy with the luxury and decorated it in any way he could without breaking the lease or his bank.

Cash: *first time having a pepper*. Peppers weren’t really a thing in swapfell. With the shortages, any food that wasn’t a basic staple or some mass produced sugar infused abomination made by napstaton was too expensive for the common people. Plus during rehab, a side effect of withdrawal was having his appetite and sense of taste basically plummet. But there was Friday’s where the institution would bring in Italian provided by a local place. And they had these really spicy pizza pies. It was the only food cash got seconds of since it was so new to him, and he developed a taste for the burn

Oak: *first time meeting a chicken*. Eggs underground were provided by the pigeons that flew in and got caught. After the famine, eggs were a thing of the past. The horrortale monsters were lucky when they resurfaced. Their humans immediately were empathetic to their plight and had volunteers coming in droves. One farmer lady brought chickens with her to keep the monsters company and to have fresh eggs on sight. And this is how oak found out about his new animal magnetism. The chickens would not leave him alone

Willow: *first time holding a human baby* the human who freed them, Aliza, was a teenager. And the frisk who abandoned the monsters was eight at the time. Way after the monsters surfaced, when the horror brothers were moving into the neighborhood, a couple of the families were helping them unpack. One mother had a box cutter in her back pocket but didn’t want to put down her sleeping kid to reach it. So she just casually handed it to willow for a second. He was too stunned by this mom just handing over the baby to some 8 foot nightmare fuel to refuse.

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s Chinese mafia Anon. I’m so excited about this chapter I have SO many thoughts (usually I just comment them but I had to share ASAP)

First of all, yes they do have ponies in some zoos, usually in the children or petting section

Second of all, DID YOU KNOW THAT IM AN EXOTIC ANIMAL TRAINER WORKING ON BECOMING A ZOOKEEPER?!?! Lmfao Emma and I would be best friends irl- I love talking to little kids about animals and zoo keeping and stuff. I’m literally in school for it right now so if you need to write about zookeeping or anything, hmu or something lol

Third of all, bro bucky is going to get Emma a pony when this is all over. How do I know that and where would he even keep it? Well let me tell you a short not story kind of anecdote thing…

Basically my sister has this rich friend- like really rich. She lives in a gated community with like celebrities and stuff (I live in LA so think like Adam Sandler is her neighbor level lol). ANYWAY they were like ‘we should have a community project cuz covid and we’re all home all the time’ so what did they do?? They didn’t start a recycling program or food bank like normal people. THEY FREAKING ADOPTED A PAIR OF PONIES TO MOW THEIR LAWNS FOR THEM.

Like straight up this neighborhood was bored and were like ‘well what could we do with all our excessive wealth?? Feed the poor? Nah. Clothe the homeless? Nah. BUY TWO FREAKING PONIES TO JUST LIVE ON OUR LAWNS? WHY NOT’ like it makes me laugh so hard. It’s such a ridiculous rich person move.

Anyway new headcanon is that Bucky is going to get her a mini farm (goats and alpacas are actually really good lawn mowers btw because they don’t graze it to the ground and don’t mind me going on my animal nerd tangent). And like Emma is going to come back to a whole farm on bucky’s front lawn and backyard just to make it up to Emma.

Also another side note: during WWII the president (I forget who) to like save money and energy and stuff bought a herd of sheep to graze the white house’s lawns. They then sold the wool to make money for the war effort which I think is cool and something america should bring back except use the money to like house the homeless or something.

I have so many questions but the one thing that I know for sure is;

Rich people are crazy 😂

Wait OMG you're training to be a zookeeper!? Aaaaa that's amazing darling! 😱😱❤

[tabloidtoc]

Us, May 3

You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Pregnant Meghan Markle: My Baby, My Way

Page 2: Red Carpet -- rufflemania -- Hollywood style stars are tier-ing it up in this flattering design with feminine flair -- Tracee Ellis Ross, Kaitlyn Dever, Margot Robbie, Logan Browning, Nicola Coughlan

Page 3: Lizzo, Maude Apatow, Lucy Boynton, Jessica Alba, Lily Collins

Page 4: Who Wore It Best? Anya Taylor-Joy vs. Isla Fisher vs. Regina King in Stuart Weitzman Nudist sandal

Page 6: Loose Talk -- Shonda Rhimes on the intense backlash she received over Rege-Jean Page's exit from Bridgerton, Kelly Ripa on her most embarrassing interview, Luke Bryan on his mother LeClaire's Instagram fame, Blake Shelton on The Voice's new coach Ariana Grande, Reese Witherspoon joking about wearing bottoms that aren't sweatpants

Page 8: Contents

Page 10: A Final Farewell to Prince Philip, his four children Prince Charles and Princess Anne and Prince Andrew and Prince Edward were among the loved ones who participated in the emotional ceremony, feuding brothers Prince Harry and Prince William (and his wife Duchess Kate) put their differences aside after the intimate service, due to Covid-19 protocols the grieving Queen Elizabeth stayed socially distant from the other 29 people who attended the funeral for her husband of 73 years

Page 11: ACM Awards 2021 -- Maren Morris teamed up with her husband Ryan Hurd and won Female Artist of the Year, Thomas Rhett won Male Artist of the Year, Carrie Underwood took the stage

Page 12: Hot Pics -- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wore an orange coat during a visit to NYC, John Stamos plays a coach on the TV show Big Shot, Zach Braff goofed around on the set of Cheaper by the Dozen in L.A.

Page 13: Eva Longoria on her trampoline while aboard a yacht in Miami, Howie Mandel arrived to the set of America's Got Talent dressed as a bug in Pasadena

Page 14: Jon Hamm and his rescue dog Splash strolled around the neighborhood in L.A., Heidi Klum in all white in Pasadena, Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry take a stroll in L.A.

Page 15: Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes held hands after dinner at Il Segreto in L.A., Patrick Dempsey shot a scene for his show Devils in Rome

Page 16: Rachel Brosnahan in a blue dress and carrying a clear umbrella on the set of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel in NYC, Lin-Manuel Miranda at the opening of a vaccination center for Broadway workers in Times Square, Trisha Yearwood feeds one of her rescue pups

Page 18: Gen Z Has Spoken -- these celebs are making the young kids proud -- Baggy Jeans -- Hailey Bieber, Tracee Ellis Ross, Bella Hadid

Page 19: Middle Parts -- Busy Philipps, Lizzo, Jennifer Lopez, Kourtney Kardashian, baguette bags -- Dua Lipa, Elsa Hosk, Irina Shayk, Kendall Jenner

Page 20: Seeing Double -- stars bear a striking resemblance to their famous counterparts -- Elizabeth Banks and Chelsea Handler, Emmanuelle Chriqui and Nina Dobrev, Betty Gilpin and Jodie Comer

Page 21: Rob Lowe and Ian Somerhalder, Jaime Pressly and Margot Robbie, Isla Fisher and Amy Adams, Rupert Grint and Ed Sheeran, Kyle Richards and Kacey Musgraves

Page 22: Clueless Crew -- stars are totally buggin' over Cher Horowitz's style in yellow plaid -- Robin Roberts on Good Morning America, Katie Holmes was rollin' with her homie beau Emilio Vitolo Jr. in NYC, Vanessa Hudgens, Dianna Agron

Page 23: Gabrielle Union

Page 24: Stars They're Not Like Us -- Jay Leno took one of his vintage automobiles out for a spin in L.A., Chrissy Teigen and John Legend took a selfie with a fan while grocery shopping in Beverly Hills, Kylie Jenner has custom vending machines

Page 25: Carrie Underwood in her massive walk-in closet, Denzel Washington signs autographs for fans in NYC, Megan Thee Stallion on a private plane, Drake and his bodyguard in Beverly Hills

Page 26: Stars They're Just Like Us -- Sarah Jessica Parker catches a yellow cab after working at her shoe store in NYC, Brad Paisley picked up five pizzas to go in Montecito

Page 27: Kelly Osbourne handed out goods at a drive-thru food distribution event at the Islamic Center of Southern California, HGTV's Egypt Sherrod transformed her closet into a meditation space in Atlanta, in between filming Law & Order: SVU's Mariska Hargitay and Ice-T take a selfie

Page 28: Hollywood Dads -- Scott Porter on parenting his two kids McCoy and Clover

Page 29: Jonathan Tucker on life with twins Hayes and India, parenthood is a lot tougher than Jovi Dufren imagined, Maksim Chmerkovskiy can't wait to show son Shai his work

Page 30: Love Lives -- Rihanna and A$AP Rocky are showing no signs of slowing down -- the pair enjoyed a night out in L.A. hotspot Delilah where they were holding hands and laughing and they're not hiding the fact that they're dating but they just don't want people in their business -- they're a good match and are each other's best friend

Page 31: Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber may look like the picture-perfect couple, but Justin admits that their first year of marriage wasn't what he expected, saying it was really tough and there was just a lack of trust and he blamed the strain on his own personal struggles and said before he didn't have someone to love or someone to pour into but now, more than two years after exchanging vows with Hailey, he has that

* Kacey Musgraves' romance with Dr. Gerald Onuoha is giving her butterflies -- the pair are so happy they found each other and while Kacey, who split from her husband Ruston Kelly last summer, is trying not to get too ahead of herself, her connection to the Nashville-based doc is off the charts and it's got the potential to go a very long way

* Today's Savannah Guthrie is thankful to have husband Michael Feldman in her life, especially given the demands of her early morning work schedule

Page 32: Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker are getting serious -- all the details on their whirlwind romance

Page 33: Adapting to parenthood has been a breeze for Emma Stone and she's soaking in all the precious moments of being a mom for the first time -- she and husband Dave McCary welcomed their baby daughter in March and Emma is super protective and a very hands-on mom and Dave is also hands-on and helps with their daughter -- thanks to the little one, Emma's marriage with the comedian has also gotten stronger and having a baby has brought them closer in a way they never expected -- Emma is looking forward to getting back to work; she's taken this time off to embrace motherhood and her number one priority is to raise a healthy baby so that's what she's focused on right now

* Britney Spears is setting the record straight -- despite her ongoing conservatorship battle with her dad, Jamie Spears, she is doing totally fine, assuring fans that she's extremely happy and she has a beautiful home, beautiful children and she's taking a break right now because she's enjoying herself -- although the legal drama with her father is heating up, Britney is staying strong and she has this wonderful ability to see the positive even when the odds are against her

* Keeping Up With Us -- production for the Downton Abbey sequel is underway, Mossimo Giannulli is a free man, Chrissy Teigen returned to Twitter 23 days after announcing that she was leaving the platform, Vanessa Bryant remembered her late husband Kobe Bryant on what would have been their 20th wedding anniversary, Helen McCrory lost her battle with cancer at age 52 according to her husband Damian Lewis

Page 34: A Day in My Life -- Whitney Port

Page 35: Colton Underwood is ready to live his truth -- during an interview on Good Morning America, the former Bachelor came out as gay, saying he's run from himself for a long time and he came to terms with his sexuality earlier this year and he's the happiest and healthiest he's ever been -- now that he feels like he can finally breathe, Colton is excited for his next chapter, which fans will get to see on an upcoming reality show with Olympian Gus Kenworthy -- a huge weight has been lifted off of Colton's shoulders and he is looking forward to being his authentic self

Page 36: Moms Tell All -- Happy Mother's Day! From milestones and manners to rules and nanny-bans, celebs and insiders talk about raising kids in Hollywood

Page 37: Bindi Irwin says life at home with her daughter Grace Warrior has been positively blissful and her family with dad Chandler Powell is so full of love, adding that the newborn has already met some of the wildlife at the Australia Zoo where Bindi and Chandler live and work and of course she's seen some crocs and really lit up when she saw them -- while the Aussie conservationist is sad Grace won't get to meet her late dad Steve Irwin, Bindi's brother Robert Irwin and mom Terri Irwin have been by her side constantly and Robert is obsessed with Grace and has been helping out so much and her mom has been the biggest guiding light and she's already taught Bindi so much about being a mother, both in how she raised her and by showing her things day by day and Terri is quite the baby whisperer and she's so great a calming Grace down when she's crying -- first-time father Chandler is also a natural with Grace and he's been the most supportive and involved dad and together, he and Bindi make such a great team -- for now, Bindi, who stars with Chandler in Crikey! It's a Baby!, is hoping Grace will follow in her animal-activist footsteps, saying having three generations of strong women working as conservationists is a dream come true

* Jennifer Garner said teaching your kids is a lifelong job, and certainly values are something you have to show them -- Jennifer, who shares kids Violet, Seraphina and Samuel with ex Ben Affleck, is staying true to her word and has led by example when it comes to things like kindness and patience and she won't let anyone in the house to judge or speak ill of people, and she enforces the same wholesome, traditional values that she was raised with and the kids have been taught to be loving, hardworking and fair -- Jennifer has always taken a kids-come-first approach to parenting, and it shows as they bake together, enjoy movie nights, read books and have very active lives and it's a very healthy, happy household filled with laughter and love

Page 38: Gwen Stefani has her hands full with her sons Kingston, Zuma and Apollo with ex-husband Gavin Rossdale, but she wouldn't want it any other way -- Gwen's a tomboy, so having three boys wasn't daunting for her at all, plus she has fiance Blake Shelton by her side to pitch in with parenting duties and Gwen and the boys have a blast at Blake's ranch in Oklahoma where they enjoy riding their ATVs, and they play baseball and football -- it's not all fun and games, though because Gwen is big on boundaries and manners and she doesn't want to raise Hollywood brats and it's important to her that her sons be gentlemen

* Meghan Markle's pregnancy with Archie was no walk in the park, as she revealed during her bombshell TV interview with husband Prince Harry, the couple had concerns over whether or not the royal family would provide security for their son and claimed there were conversations about his skin color -- but this time around, as Meghan and Harry gear up for baby No. 2 at home in L.A., she's doing everything her way, without the royals and Meghan and Harry feel blessed that they're able to raise their daughter in the U.S. and can live by their own rules and make the decisions they feel are best for their children; having independence is the most important thing for Meghan and she's got free rein to be exactly the kind of mom she wants to be -- her parenting style is really like most mothers out there, and she's been craving pasta and doing yoga two times a day as her due date nears and she keeps a lot of art supplies out to foster creativity and healthy snacks around and she's a devoted mom and wants the best for her kids

Page 39: Kate Hudson has a lot on her plate, so the mom of three, who shares son Ryder with former husband Chris Robinson and son Bingham with ex Matt Bellamy and daughter Rani with boyfriend Danny Fujikawa, knows when to put her foot down as things can get a little overwhelming at times for Kate, but when she says no, it absolutely means no, and the kids respect her very much because of that

* Gigi Hadid, who shares daughter Khai with boyfriend Zayn Malik, wants to spend every waking moment with her precious little girl -- Gigi could easily afford to employ a team of nannies but chooses not to and she prefers to do everything herself and besides, she can't bear to be away from Khai for more than a few hours

* Candace Cameron Bure's three grown kids are flying the coop, but she's still super involved in their lives, despite slowly becoming an empty nester -- the mom of Natasha, Lev, and Maksim with former hockey player Valeri Bure says it's been a very transitional time and she's been trying to help them make decisions they feel good about and it's challenging, but they're figuring it out

Page 40: Oh, Baby! Meghan Markle's due date is just around the corner, and here are all the details

* Bump Brigade -- Halsey, Gal Gadot, Shawn Johnson East

Page 42: 10 Years of the Cambridges -- a look back at Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton's solid marriage for their anniversary

Page 44: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez: What Really Happened -- cheating and lies? The truth behind J.Lo's split from fiance A-Rod

Page 45: Friendliest Exes -- these former couples managed to stay close after going their separate ways -- Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr, Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz

Page 48: Gifts for Mother's Day

Page 54: Entertainment -- Ben Barnes on Shadow and Bone

Page 58: Fashion Police -- the most daring Oscars looks -- Bjork, Whoopi Goldberg, Charlize Theron

Page 59: Rachel Weisz, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lady Gaga

Page 60: 25 Things You Don't Know About Me -- Julia Michaels

[collecting-stories]

Scarefest - Topper Thornton

Request: Can I request a topper imagine where he overhears the reader talking about doing Halloween festivities but the pogues don’t want to do anything so he offers to take her 🥺🥺🥺like a pumpkin patch or a CARNVIAL OMG with haunted houses I love Halloween lmao

Autumn in the OBX | Outer Banks Masterlist

_ ⭐︎*.・✶ ☾ ◦*.⭐︎_

Topper came out of the gym in the country club, Kelce heading straight for the lockers to grab a shower, and stopped when he saw you down the hall at the smoothie bar, talking to the woman behind the counter. You had a uniform in the way of a pair of khaki colored pants and polo tee with the club insignia on it.

“You coming man?” Kelce called from the door to the locker rooms.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just grabbing a water.” He replied, “drank all of mine.”

“Whatever, but I’m not waiting around while you take five years to fix your hair.” Kelce joked, disappearing around the door before Topper could form any kind of comeback.  

With him gone, Topper headed to the smoothie bar. He had seen you over the weekend at a party with your friends and he’d overheard you talking about Scarefest, something that none of your friends seemed even the slightest bit interested in. But overhearing it was like a godsend to Topper, he’d been trying to figure out how to ask you out without you completely shooting him down and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.  

Not to mention, there were none of your pogue friends insight today, “Hey.” 

You looked up from your phone, surprised at the sight before you. “Uh, hey, Topper. Did you need something?”

While Rafe loved to make you run around the club on dumb errands for him, or send his food back a million times just so you could get in trouble, Topper seemed far more willing to just ignore your existence when you were there.  

“No nothing, I was just...heard you mention like heading up to the farm this weekend for scarefest.” He said.  

“I did mention it...to my friends.” You replied, emphasizing the word as a way to remind him that he was, definitely not, one of your friends. Besides, that had been Friday, at the boneyard, and it was Tuesday now. “Why?”

“I was just thinking if you still wanted to go, we could go together.” Topper suggested, leaning against the counter of the smoothie bar in a way that he hoped both made him look cool and showed off his arms. When you frowned and raised a skeptical eyebrow at him, he was tempted to turn right around and head back toward the gym. “What?”

“Nothing. I just...are you asking me on a date Topper? Am I being asked on a date by a kook?” You teased, “Are you Freddie Prinze Jr and I’m Rachel Leigh Cook?”

Topper rolled his eyes at the stupid movie reference. He’d been crushing on you for a while now, a couple weeks after he and Sarah broke up if he was actually trying to put down a timeline, but sometimes he couldn’t decide exactly why. “Do you wanna go or not?”

“I do. I just have one question...”  

“I swear to god...” He warned, already knowing what you were going to say.  

You raised your voice enough as you spoke to draw the attention of some members of the club that were in the lobby area of the gym, doing your best to act as dramatic as possible, “am I a bet? Am I fucking bet?”

“Shut up,” Topper pressed his hand over your mouth, looking around the room apologetically. He could just hear his mom later, telling him how someone at the club had seen him with some girl making a commotion, “you are the loudest person I have ever met.” 

“Louder than that god awful green shirt Rafe works out in?” You said once Topper moved his hand off your mouth.  

“Yeah, louder than that.” 

“Pick me up at 5 okay, I don’t wanna get stuck waiting for the ferry.” You said, agreeing to the date that he was asking you out on. You had heard plenty of shit about Topper simply because he was a kook but you didn’t really know him and you had to admit you kinda wanted to. He was definitely cute even if he wasn’t your usual type. “Will your jeep drive in the cut or does it come to a screeching halt when it senses pogues?” 

“You’re really fucking annoying.” Topper muttered.  

“You’re the one who asked me on a date.” You pointed out, taking a water bottle from behind the counter.  

“And what...you wanna see if you can get me to change my mind?” He joked.  

A voice came over the walkie that was attached to your hip, asking for your help down in the restaurant area and you radioed back that you would be right there. “Well, duty calls, I’ll see you on Friday.” 

-

Topper showed up on Friday at 5p, just when he said he would, and your mom stood at the front window yelling to you in your bedroom about ‘who were you going out with’ and ‘how does a kid afford that kind of car’. You ignored all of her questions in favor of running out the door and getting in the car as soon as possible.  

“Have you done scarefest before?” You asked as you walked through the gates of the farm with him. It was still light out, too early for the haunted house or the hayride but just in time for the other festivities.  

“No,” he shook his head, looking around as he followed you up the hill toward the large barn and pumpkin patch.  

“So, if you’ve never done scarefest before, why’d you wanna come? Tired of the kook parties and felt like changing it up?” You joked, grabbing his hand as you led him through the crowded giftshop and out into the pumpkin patch.  

“You wanted to go and I wanted to go on a date with you, seemed like the logical choice.” Topper replied.  

“You seriously wanted to go on a date with me?” You asked, letting go of his hand to inspect a large barrel of medium sized pumpkins.  

“I asked you out, didn’t I?”

“Who knows why you do things Topper,” you teased, grabbing a pumpkin out and holding it up as you turned around to him, “here, take a picture of me.”

“With a pumpkin?”

“Yeah...uh excuse me!” You called to a woman walking passed, when she turned to look over you held out your phone, “would you take a picture of us?”

“Sure, of course.”

You grabbed Topper’s hand, pulling him close to you, unable to stop smiling when he put his arm around your waist and posed with you while the woman took your picture. It was cheesy, and you would never say it out loud, but you had always wanted to do some basic couples’ thing like this and get your picture taken by some random soccer mom there with her family.  

“Thanks,” you took your phone back, swiping through the three pictures the woman took and zooming in to make sure you looked nice in them.  

“You two are so cute,” she mentioned as she walked off, Topper nodding as if he agreed and replying with a simple ‘thank you’, not bothering with any sort of explanation. Technically you were here together but you weren’t quite together, together.  

“Alright, picture in the pumpkin patch, what other mandatory things do you have written on your list?” Topper asked walking with you through the small crowd. You’d put the pumpkin back, insisting that the local farmer’s market sold them for less and you weren’t wasting money, even Topper’s, on an overpriced pumpkin.  

“There’s food, that’s always a necessity. Or the corn maze...it’s technically for kids, I’ve been tall enough to see over the actual corn since I was thirteen but it’s still fun. Or, the petting zoo, that’s always open. Or we could take the tractor ride down to scarefest, it’s starting to get dark.”  

“Scarefest sounds good to me.” He replied, standing up a little straighter and you smiled at his change in posture.

“Do you scare easily?” You asked, walking toward the tractor with him, still holding his hand. You’d taken it again as you left the crowded pumpkin patch and you had yet to let go.  

“No.” Topper lied. He could barely sit through a scary movie let alone the idea of walking willingly into a haunted house. He didn’t even want to think about the haunted hayride. You climbed on the tractor ahead of him and he finally let go of your hand to wrap his arm around your shoulders as other couples and groups climbed in.  

“Not gonna lie, I am really happy you asked me to come here. And not just cause I wanted to go to scarefest.” You admitted, turning into him a little so he would hear you.  

“Wow, that’s some compliment.” Topper joked.  

“I’m serious...out of all the kooks, you’re my favorite.”

“There it is.” He said, rolling his eyes at the comment. The pogue and kook dating thing seemed to be working for Sarah and John B, as much as it hurt to see them together in the beginning, and Topper had to admit that it made him wonder if that was possible for you and him. If something more than him being scared out of his mind would come of tonight and the two of you could date.  

Maybe that was too much to hope for.

“What? I’m serious. You’re my favorite.” You replied, smiling, “but only because I’m not counting Kie as a kook.”

“Naturally.”

“Then it’s gotta be Kie.”

“I appreciate that.” Topper said, “nothing like being second best.”

“Well, I’m here with you.”

“Cause I asked you.” He pointed out as the tractor rambled along toward the gate of the haunted house.

“Yeah but I said yes.” You replied. “I was like...how many chances am I gonna get to see you freak out over people in costumes.”

Topper laughed, shaking his head at you while you smiled at him, so tempted to kiss him right then but you kept yourself in check. You were not going to blow this entire date by throwing yourself at him in desperation.  

The tractor left you off at the gate and you dragged Topper through, eager to get in line for the haunted house. While you stood in line with him people outside dressed in costume lurked around, creeping up on people and making them jump. When a guy in a werewolf costume caught Topper by surprise he nearly jumped and you laughed.  

“Just...didn’t expect that.”

“Kinda the point of the haunted house,” you teased, “but you’re scared face is very cute.”

“Great. I’ve always wanted to have a girl compliment me the same way my grandma does.” He groaned as the two of you moved further up in line.

“I could pinch your cheeks too. Just for good measure.” You said, yelping when he prodded your side with his fingers. You smacked his hand away and laughed, “stop.”

“Me? You’re the one antagonizing me the whole night.” He replied. When it was your turn to go inside, he stepped behind you, hands on your waist as you both walked through the door to the haunted house. The immediate flickering of the lights had you reaching for his hand. Even if you weren’t easily scared you hated being disoriented. “Scared?” He asked.

“No.” You promised.  

As you and Topper came out the back door of the haunted house he let out a relieved breath, shaking his shoulders and trying to regain some composure. You turned to face him, walking backwards towards the concession stand that sold hot chocolate and apple cider, smiling at him happily. You looked unfazed by the haunted house and he couldn’t even comprehend how that was possible.

��Wasn’t that awesome?”

“Yeah, awesome. I’m coming back every weekend.” Topper replied sarcastically, following you.  

“We can skip the hayride if you want?” You offered, knowing that he had clearly lied when he told you that he didn’t scare easily.  

“Nah, I’m good.” He insisted. You wanted to go on the hayride and he wanted this to be a great date so that you would go out with him again.  

“Okay.” You waited until he caught up with you, taking his hand and walking normally beside him to the concession, “you want some apple cider or something before?”

“Sure.”  

As you stood in another line with him, arms around him this time as you stood against his side, you leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, “I am really enjoying tonight, all antagonizing aside,” you said.

“We can do something else next week if you want?” Topper chanced and you smiled.    

“Yeah, absolutely.”  

-

taglist: @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife  @freckled-and-daydreaming  @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @katherine097 @tangledinsparkles @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27 @dopedoodes @dolanfivsosxox @belledutchess @poguelifeeee @faded-blue @parkerpetertingle @thebookwormlife @summer-clouds-and-long-days @jellyfishbeansontoast @minigranger @hoewkeye @love-someone-special @tiredfeels @strangerthanfanfiction713 @the-only-nana @tomzfrog @mozz-are-lla @vindictive-hearts @poguestyleskye @ssprayberrythings @jenahbell @beautyandthebleh @gothackedalready @teenwaywardasgardian @sarahcxmeron @haha-fuck-you-thot @stillbelieve398-5 @rewindlr @queenniccimicci @kissessforharryyy @thedarkqueenofavalon @alytavzla @bqmblebee @linniep @nerdypartytrashpsychic @xxchxrryxx @spencer-reid-is-a-cutie @danielladreaming @obx-saltlife @youngestxhearts @spnobsessedmemes @wowitswondergurl  @mybnkjj @pineappleandcherries @mysterious-adventurer @justawilddreamerchild @rhyetaylor62 @calm-rejects @oh-annaa @aiifandomsunite @x-lulu @ceruleanjj @wicked-laugh @obxwriterfan @allie-mcginn @pcterparxer @literarycharleton @khiaraaa-in-spacee @crushe-s @teamnick @daydreamlilys @collectiveuniverses @activist-af @mdgrdians @buckys-sunflower @vindictive-hearts @copper-boom @talksoprettyjjx @5am-cigarette @smiithys @dontjinx-it @outerbanksbro @mysticsthinking @heavenlymama @rudy-pankow-needs-an-oscar @babymatilda @raekenliar @lemur46 @under-a-canyon-moon @calums-betch

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

mistletoe & california snow - t. meier

Here’s the first of the things I’ll be putting out for the Christmas and holiday season! I’ve been working on this for the past few weeks, it’s pretty long - bear with me - but I am proud of it and how it’s turned out. As always, I read all the tags and love seeing and hearing people’s thoughts, so please let me know what you think!

word count: 7.6k+

warning: sexual content (light & brief, but no one under 18 please!)

Timo came into Noemi Silva’s life when she least expected it. It’s a cliché saying, one that had been around since time immemorial, but it was true. He wasn’t looking for anything serious, and she had just gotten out of a relationship a few months prior. But then she had gotten an internship with the Sharks social media team in winter of her senior year of college, and the more time she started spending around the players, the more he realized he wasn’t able to stay away from her. Not in a bad way, but in the kind of way where he simply noticed how radiant she was and wanted to do whatever he could to get to know her, to be around her, in whatever way she’d let him. So colleagues turned into friends, turned into him asking her out two weeks before playoffs started. She didn’t say yes right away, but it wasn’t because she didn’t know, and it wasn’t because she wanted to make him sweat it. She was worried about what people would think; an intern dating one of the team’s star forwards, worried that the office gossip would turn into arguments that she didn’t earn her job, or that she was trying to get people to go easier on her. After a long conversation with Alise, one of her best friends, then her older sister, then Timo, she finally agreed. Them being together wasn’t as big of an issue as she had thought, a few meetings with HR and some paperwork and they had the green light, as long as they kept things professional at work. And then she was offered a full-time job after her graduation, and now, almost three years after they had first met, she was days away from marrying the love of her life. 

He had proposed at the very beginning of the year, on a weeklong trip to Switzerland courtesy of the Sharks’ bye week and a very well-timed nonstop flight to Zürich. Noemi wasn’t an overly sentimental person, she thought as she curled next to her fiancé on their living room couch, watching an episode of Gossip Girl. She never had been, but even she would admit without hesitation that there wasn’t a single thing she would have changed about their engagement. 

---

Noemi’s parents were out of town on a weekend getaway to wine country, so they weren’t able to drive her and Timo to the airport for their bye week vacation to Switzerland. Everything had lined up perfectly that year, and Noemi almost couldn’t believe their luck. She had accompanied the Sharks’ delegation to the past two All-Star Weekends, one the year prior and the other only the weekend before. So they both had a full week off for the first time since the offseason. The Christmas break was great, but it wasn’t nearly enough time to travel anywhere, let alone somewhere outside of the country. They had both been worried about the flight time — for a while, the only option was nearly twenty hours with a seven-hour layover in London — but thankfully, a nonstop flight from San Francisco to Zürich had opened up that they had booked just before the holidays. 

All leading to the current moment, with Noemi, Timo, and their bags in the backseat of Kevin Labanc’s SUV as he pulled up to the curb of Terminal G. “Hope you guys have fun in the Alps, getting snowed on and freezing your asses off while I relax on the beach, getting—”

Noemi cut him off, arching an eyebrow. “Freezing your ass off, Kevin. It may be California, but I think you’re vastly overestimating how warm Santa Cruz beaches get. Have fun, though,” she quipped. 

The corner of his eyes crinkled as he laughed. “Meier, did you know that your girl can chirp better than half the team?” 

“One of her many talents,” Timo said, shrugging as he hefted their bags out of the trunk. Noemi was the first one to hug his teammate goodbye, and then Kevin pulled Timo into an embrace. 

“But seriously, guys. Have fun. Good luck,” he said, looking back at Timo. 

“What did he say good luck for?” Noemi asked, her brows furrowed as they walked through the sliding doors to the check-in counter. 

Timo made a noncommittal noise. “Not sure. Maybe he meant to say good flight?” And it was a good flight, they were both able to get a few hours of sleep in before breakfast was served just as they were flying over Scotland. 

Noemi wrested her back from under the seat before slinging it onto her shoulder and flashing a grateful smile at the flight attendants as they disembarked. She shivered as the cold air hit her on the jet bridge — as soon as they made it out to the gate, she made Timo stop so she could grab a jacket out of her bag, zipping it up all the way to under her chin. Timo snorted; she glared at him. “We weren’t all born with snow in our veins, Timo.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “I didn’t say anything.” 

She had been through the airport once before, but once was nothing compared to the she-didn’t-even-know-how-many flights Timo had taken. He gave her a kiss on the cheek as they reached passport control, moving towards the automated gates as Noemi stood in the line for non-Schengen nationals. “See you on the other side.” 

Timo had already been waiting for ten minutes by the time Noemi got through. Though, all things considered — especially when compared to the hour-plus lines they were both used to trying to get back into the United States — it wasn’t bad at all. “You get through okay?” he asked, kissing Noemi as she came up to where he had settled by a coffee shop. 

She nodded. “Yep, no issues. Asked me why I was here, I said I was visiting family with my Swiss citizen boyfriend, asked how long I’d be here for, I said a week. She told me welcome to Switzerland, stamped my passport, and said to have a good trip.” She tucked her passport into her purse, zipping it closed. 

Timo bent down to kiss the top of her head as she leaned into him, her hands wrapping around his waist. “Let’s get going, then.”

---

The day before they were due to fly out of Zürich, they decided to go into the city. By they, it was really Timo’s decision; before they left San Jose, he had shown her pictures of Zürich in the winter and mentioned the zoo. It was an easy sell, she loved getting to see the lemurs. They had done the zoo in the morning and the national museum in the afternoon, before the sun set just after 5 PM. 

The beer garden he took her to for dinner didn’t have any more indoor seating — something Noemi didn’t have a preference on, but Timo seemed concerned about — so the couple settled outside, warmed by a heating lamp and a well-placed fire pit off to the side of their table. “I feel like a lizard,” Noemi remarked, glancing up at the lamp. Timo laughed, holding her hand and absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over the top as he scanned the menu. “Now, it may come as a shock to you, but I happen to be less-than-fluent in Swiss German, so you’re going to have to help me out here,” she said as she read the menu. “Pictures are only getting me so far.”

He chuckled, leaning over the table “Do you want the raclette or the fondue?” 

Noemi’s brow furrowed. “Raclette?” 

Timo pulled out his phone, quickly navigating to Google. “The best way to describe it is like warmed, bubbly cheese that’s like scraped onto the food. Potatoes, meat, that kind of stuff. As opposed to fondue, which is obviously just fondue.” 

She looked at him, bewildered. “How many ways do the Swiss have to eat cheese?” 

“We’ve been perfecting it for 700 years, No.” 

The raclette was incredible, as expected, and the saison their waitress had suggested paired perfectly. It was nearing eight by the time they had paid the check, and they had an hour long drive back to his hometown, but the night wasn’t over yet. Some of the Christmas lights were still up, and a short walk around downtown led them to a little art gallery that was still open, Timo purchasing a gorgeous oil painting of the city, the clock tower of St. Peter in the background. 

“Belated Christmas present?” he asked, grinning at Noemi, as he arranged for it to be shipped back to California. 

She rolled her eyes. “If you say so.” 

“Merci vielmal,” Timo said to the curator. “Come on, there’s one more thing I want to show you before we leave.” 

Noemi blew on her hands before she stuffed them back in the pockets of her down jacket, following him out the door. She had gotten it a few months after she had been hired by the team full-time; there were a few different people on the social media team, so she didn’t go on every road trip, but it had become an invaluable addition to her wardrobe. She had made the foolish assumption that a November in Calgary couldn’t be too cold, and had only brought a fleece and a raincoat on one of her first trips with the team. It had been one of the worst mistakes of her life, and she had ended up having to run out to a Canada Goose outlet during her lunch break just so she wouldn’t freeze to death. 

Noemi wasn’t sure where they were going, but supposed that she wasn’t in a place to be very skeptical. It was only her second time in Switzerland — she had flown out the summer prior to visit with him and his family — and she certainly wasn’t an expert, so she followed her boyfriend down the street and around the corners of tiny stone-faced apartments and old churches, a light sprinkling of snow dusting itself on her beanie. They walked for a few minutes before coming to the banks of Lake Zürich, where icy water would normally be lapping at their toes, even in January. Noemi hadn’t taken much of a look at the lake on the drive in; if she had, she would have noticed that it was completely frozen over, with couples walking and children playing tag even at the comparatively late hour. 

He squeezed her hand as he stepped onto the ice. “Come on, babe.” 

Noemi bit her lip. “Are you sure it’s safe?” 

Timo nodded. “I called and asked a friend of mine the day before we left, it’s been frozen for almost a week and the weather hasn’t gotten any warmer. It should be at least nine, ten inches thick. Plenty safe.” So she let him take her hand, pulling her out to step gingerly on the ice, one foot in front of the other. 

“Does it freeze often?”

Timo shook his head. “First time since ‘65. You’re getting something special here, No.” The snow gave their feet some purchase on the ice, and it was only a few minutes before they were standing where the middle of the lake should be, looking up at the jet-black night sky. “Can you see Cassiopeia?” Timo asked, looking up to the sky, his hands jamming in his jacket pocket, playing with what Noemi could only assume were his keys. 

After their first date, dinner and a comedy show, they had driven to a stunning viewpoint on the outskirts of the city, bringing a blanket and laying outside stargazing and lazily kissing until they had to go to sleep sometime after midnight. “I could stay here for hours,” he had murmured as she lay against his chest. “Don’t think Boughner would take too kindly to you being late for morning skate,” Noemi had said. But she wasn’t arguing; she would have stayed there the rest of the night if they could. And Cassiopeia had always been her favorite constellation, the first one she pointed out to Timo that night, and one she loved just as much almost two years later. 

It took her less than ten seconds to find it, the familiar “W” beckoning her just like it had a hundred times before. She looked back to where Timo had been just a moment before, mouth half-open, ready to show him the stars. 

But he wasn’t there. Well, not standing, at least. He was kneeling on the ice, a blue jewelry box with a ring inside it balanced in his hand as the other reached out gently for hers. She gave it to him, of course she did. “Noemi Francisca Silva, you came into my life when I least expected it. I didn’t think I wanted a relationship, you weren’t sure either, but somehow after a few months of trying to be ‘just friends,’ we realized that just friends wasn’t going to work. And God, am I glad we figured that out. You’ve somehow fit in my life so perfectly that I have no clue how it ever worked before you were there. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, but even more than that, you’re so full of joy, you’ve always got a kind word to say about anyone, and you’re the best person anyone could ever ask for to have in their corner. I’m so glad you’re in mine.” He paused for a moment, looking back up at her with a half-smile on his face. “You asked what Kevin wished us good luck for back at the airport. Well,” he shrugged, “this is it. Noemi, it’s been the honor of my life to get to love you, and I can only hope you’ll let me do it for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?” 

For as worried as she had been about the ice not twenty minutes before, Noemi barely paid any mind as she crashed down next to him, their foreheads touching as his shaking hands slid the ring onto her wedding finger. It was the easiest answer she’d ever given in her life. “Yes.”

 --

As Noemi straddled Timo in the driver’s seat of his SUV two days before their wedding, the bags of falafel having long since been abandoned in the back seat, she thought that she had never been so grateful for tinted windows and early sunsets. “The milkshakes are going to melt,” she gasped out as his fingers started to trail up her shirt, playing with the line of her bra. 

“We’ll throw them in the freezer when we get home,” he said. Well, there’s not really any way I can argue against that, Noemi considered. So she let him pull her shirt off, undo the buttons on her shorts, and grab a condom from the center console — he had made damn sure to clean it out before filming a “what’s in my car” bit with the video team earlier that week — and slid into her as she tried desperately to keep her moans in check. “It’s okay, baby, let it out. I want to hear,” he said. 

And she was in no place to argue. So she gasped and whimpered while he moaned underneath her, the seat tilted back just enough for him to hit her just right. And Timo knew almost everything about Noemi. You don’t get to be together with someone for over two and a half years without learning about them. He knew she liked waffles over pancakes and hated having to get up early and how she almost cried the first time she got sent to the principal’s office in third grade. He knew her body better than she did, how to send her crashing into an orgasm that left them both breathless with tired, goofy grins on their faces after. 

But as Noemi steadied her breathing, looking out the window — the parking lot was still mercifully empty — she thought that maybe she’d leave out the fact that they had just fucked right across the street from her childhood church. At least we’re not trying to get married there, Noemi thought. I’d take up the whole damn time for Confession just for the past month. 

---

Noemi stuck her head out of the door of her seventh-floor hotel room. The coast was clear. It was the end of February, ten months after they had gotten together, and the team was in the middle of their last big Midwest sweep of the season. Going through the Central Division — plus a stop in Toronto — was incredible and Noemi was shaking herself awake every morning, realizing that this really was her job, but it was also exhausting, and as much as it may have seemed counterintuitive, lonely at times. Well, lonely in a particular way. She had the rest of the social media team, and she was friendly with most of the athletic training staff, and she saw the players pretty much every day, and she was friends with most of them. But the team was a little more than halfway through the trip, and she’d barely gotten to spend any time with Timo. Sure, there were meals, and the few off hours they got had been amazing — when they played the Preds, it was her first time in Nashville, and walking around Music Row had been the highlight of her weekend — but it wasn’t the same as if they were back in San Jose. 

Okay, if she was being totally honest, she missed the sex. It obviously wasn’t like she was finding it impossible to go without, she had dealt with it just fine when he was on a roadie and she was back home, but knowing that they were so close but couldn’t quite get there was a special kind of torture. Until now, when Timo had texted her just five minutes before. Kevin’s just gone out for a run, says he’s getting food after, some baked potato place or whatever. Idk. He’s weird. Anyways, coast should be clear for an hour or so 👀 

Noemi had initially rolled her eyes at the message, not even sure if she’d text him back, but the more she thought about it, the more she was tempted. Fuck it, she thought, texting him that she’d be right over. Which is how she found herself trying to sneak the 50 feet over to Timo’s room without being seen. Everyone knew they were together — they had for months — but the last thing she wanted was to have to explain to Erik Karlsson that the reason she was out pushing curfew was that she just really, really wanted dick. The poor man didn’t need to know. 

So she barely had to tap her fingers on Timo’s door before he swung it open, walking her back towards the bed while holding her around the waist. His knees hit the edge of the bed. Thank God there were two; she wanted him, sure, but even she wasn’t about to cross the line that was having sex in her friend’s bed an hour before he was set to sleep in it. She fell on top of him, sighing as his hands wandered under the hem of her oversized Santa Clara t-shirt, a mainstay from her college years. “Gotta get this off of you,” he mumbled. 

Noemi let out a breathy laugh. “Good things come to those who wait.” She barely had time to let out a gasp before he flipped her over. “It’s only been, what, a week?” Noemi asked, giggling. 

“Too long,” Timo replied, his lips trailing down the column of her neck. Her shirt was quickly forgotten on the floor, his following after a few minutes. She had gotten so worked up over the past week that he barely had to spend two minutes between her legs before she was pulling his mouth back up to hers, her hands fumbling with his belt buckle before finally getting it undone. “Fuck, one second,” he breathed, half-falling off the bed as he stumbled over towards his suitcase, zipping open the inner pocket before pulling out a condom. “You ready, babe?” he asked as he rolled it on. 

She nodded quickly. “Get over here.” He had just pressed into her when the door opened. 

“Brought back some fries to share, thought it would be nice since you didn’t get a chance to—” Kevin hollered as he walked into the room, while Noemi tried frantically to grab anything she could to cover herself. “Oh God. Jesus. Were you two just fucking?”

“In a manner of speaking?” Noemi said, pulling Timo’s dress shirt tightly around her. 

“God, why would you two? I’m not even going to ask. I don’t want to know. You two are gross,” he said, though he had the tiniest of smiles on his face when he finally brought his hand away from his eyes. “I’m going to, I don’t know. Go down to the lobby, and...Watch CNN or something. Be done when I get back.” 

He was gone just as quickly as he had walked in, and Noemi fell back on the bed, her face buried into the nearest pillow. “We’re never going to be able to live that one down, will we?” she asked hopelessly, already knowing the answer.

“Nope.”

---

 A month or so after he proposed, when the post-engagement glow had begun to fade and the equal parts excitement and apprehension about planning a wedding began to set in, they had to figure out how they actually wanted everything to work. Where and when and how and how many, things neither Timo nor Noemi had ever even considered went into planning a wedding. Things like figuring out if their vendor provided linens or if they had to rent their own, things like what to do with the flowers after the reception was over and how to reserve a block of hotel rooms. Enter Mohana. Noemi had been an art minor in college, focusing on watercolor  and digital design, so she sent over bits and pieces, links to Pinterest boards and concept art, and then handed off the responsibility. 

It was important to Timo that the wedding be during a time of year where the team would be able to make it; sure, summers were free, but everyone had vacations to go on and family to visit and he really didn’t want them to have to go to the expense of flying back to California just for a weekend. Even though he knew without a doubt that they would. And neither he nor Noemi thought it was a good idea to do it in spring — spring meant the playoff push and their schedules being filled even more than usual, and they didn’t want it to turn into just one more thing to worry about. Which meant fall or winter, but fall could be hectic with the season starting and most of the weekend dates for their venue had already been booked up. Which took them to December. Her own parents hadn’t really cared, but Noemi’s grandparents hadn’t been exactly thrilled when she told them she wasn’t having a church wedding. They got over it pretty quickly, though a lengthy call from her mom might have had something to do with that. 

Noemi wasn’t initially a huge fan of having a Christmas wedding. Though, really, it wasn’t even a Christmas wedding — it was on the 22nd — she was worried that people would have already settled in with their families, that she’d be disrupting plans and dynamics and traditions, that everyone’s toes would freeze off during the ceremony and suddenly their plans would be waylaid by having to take half the bridal party to the hospital to be treated for frostbite. She might have been exaggerating on the last one a little bit; even Bay Area Decembers rarely dipped much below 50º in the afternoon. But the winery they had chosen as their venue was available, and Mohana loved planning winter weddings, and Timo’s family had already been planning to fly over to spend the holidays with them. And red was her favorite color. So, all things considered, it was an easy sell. 

Planning the wedding itself turned out to me more difficult than either of them had anticipated. The Sharks’ season ended abruptly in the Cup finals that year, so they both got what planning they could out of the way before leaving for Switzerland. Cake tasting was done two days before leaving, and she had ordered her dress in March. Facetime meetings with Mohana were usually done in the California morning, which meant that more than once, she had been explaining vendor costs and asking if they preferred peonies or poppies as they were cooking dinner in his parents’ house. Noemi headed back to California in late August — she would have stayed longer, but was limited to a ninety day stay in a six month period without a visa and didn’t feel the need to go through the trouble when Timo was following a few weeks after. It wasn’t ideal, and she missed him more than she wanted to let on at times, but a month came and went and they were reunited. 

--- 

A soft knock came on the door of the bridal suite. “Everyone decent?” the voice asked.

“We’re good!” Emily called back. It was a no-brainer for Noemi to pick her sister as her maid of honor, who had nearly cried when she asked her early in the summer.

Patrick stepped into the room, closing the door gently behind him. “Can’t have him see you before,” he said jokingly. 

“Wouldn’t want that,” Noemi said, smiling softly. Patrick had stuck around after his retirement, working with the player development staff during the season. Everyone was the better for it, and they were all so grateful to have him still be a part of the family. Even apart from his consistency and dedication on the ice, he had always been a natural leader of any locker room he was in, mentoring younger players without being asked and always being there for anyone who needed him. “It’s what the team dad does,” he always said. 

So it was only natural that Timo and Noemi had wanted to find a place for him in their wedding. He had been all too happy to step up and help them with last-minute preparations the morning of, checking in with their wedding planner Mohana and helping to get all of the organizational details squared away — he had even driven back to the hotel the guests were staying at to pick up one of the groomsmen’s shoes when he had realized he had brought the wrong pair. “You feeling good, kid?” 

Noemi looked at the clock on the wall: half an hour until the ceremony started. She gave him a nervous smile. “Definitely got some butterflies, but they’re good ones. I’m excited.” 

The corner of his eyes crinkled. “Good, I’m glad. I remember when Christina and I got married, I was nervous, sure, but I knew. Knew she was the one, knew she was it for me. I’m glad you and Timo found each other, Noemi. A piece of advice?” She nodded. “Don’t get so caught up in the nerves and feeling like you need everything to be perfect that you forget what the day’s about. It’s about celebrating you, and him, and this marriage that you’re going to be building together. The photos will turn out great, nobody’s going to get food poisoning, and you won’t trip walking down the aisle. So don’t overthink it.” 

“Patrick, I just put my makeup on,” Noemi said, dabbing under her eyes with a napkin. “You can’t just say things like that and not expect me to cry.” 

He bent down, kissing her on the cheek. “You look beautiful, Noemi. This is your day. Enjoy it.” 

Patrick opened the door to the guy’s room just as Timo finished fastening his cufflinks. He looked up. “Were you just with No?”

 Patrick nodded. “She looks amazing, Timo.”

“Course she did,” he said, like it was the easiest answer in the world. ”How was she?” 

“Good. Nervous, but good. She’s with the girls, they were all drinking mimosas or something while they did their makeup,” Patrick said, sitting on the arm of the couch. 

Timo’s eyebrows lifted. “Was she in her dress?” 

“No,” Patrick said, rolling his eyes. Well-meaning though he was, he knew that Timo had been pestering Noemi to show him at least a glimpse of her dress, to no avail. She had ended up keeping it at her parents’ house when his bothering got to be too much. She loved it though. “You’ll see her soon.” Not soon enough, Timo thought. 

“You here to impart some sage wisdom, Patty?” Kevin asked, poking his head out of the bathroom as he straightened his tie. Red for the groomsmen, a subtle plaid for Timo. 

“As a matter of fact,” Patrick said, “I did have some things I thought about if you’d like to hear them.” 

Timo nodded quickly. “Of course.” It wasn’t just that he respected him for his role on the team and his former place in the locker room, it was his dedication to his family and healthy marriage that made him immediately tune in to whatever he had to say. 

“I know you’ve probably already figured this out already, having been together for as long as you have and living together now, but in case you haven’t. When you’re in a relationship, a marriage especially, you’re on the same team. You’re going after the same goal. Happiness and comfort and strength. Remember that. You’ll have disagreements, you might fight, but don’t let that overshadow the fact that whatever issue you two are facing, you’re meant to go at it together. Two,” he ticked off on his finger, “you’re going to have to compromise, probably more than you realize. Whether it’s what kind of take-out you’re going to get or where you’re going for vacation or what you’re going to do when you hang up the skates, listen to what she says, think about your priorities as a couple, and talk it out. And sometimes you’re going to have to learn when to let it go and let her win, regardless of if you think you’re right or not.” 

“I’m learning that one,” Timo said as he finished tying his dress shoes. 

Patrick smiled. “Good. Last, and probably the most important one, this is your priority now. Your marriage is your priority, she’s your priority. You said you guys talked about kids, yeah?” Timo nodded. “When you have kids, then, your family comes first. Your kids come first. I know it’s sometimes hard for people in our positions to wrap their brains around, when your whole life has been nothing but going to the rink and going to the gym, but there’s things that you’re going to need to prioritize over that, and that’s okay. The team understands it, everyone understands it. If you miss an optional skate to drop your kids off at school, or take off the gym for a week in the summer to go on vacation. If you’ve got to miss a game because your wife’s having a baby, or you take a call in a meeting when you shouldn’t because it’s Noemi and she needs you, that’s okay. Balance doesn’t come naturally to hockey players, hardly ever, but it’s something you’re going to need to learn, even better than you might think you know now. You do that, and you’ll be alright.”

There were less than ten minutes until Noemi had to leave, and Emily had just finished fastening the last button on her dress. Noemi took a deep breath, smoothing over the lace at her hips and straightening the edges of the three-quarter sleeves. “God, it’s really about to happen, isn’t it?” she asked in awe. 

Her mom squeezed her shoulder. “It is.”

“You need me to drive the getaway car?” Alise, her best friend from college asked, eyebrows raised, one hand playing with the skirt of her crimson bridesmaid’s dress. “I like Timo, I really do, but I love you more.”

Noemi let out a snort. “Thanks, Alise, but I think I’m going to have to pass on this one. We put down a fat deposit on this place and I wouldn’t want to lose it.”

“Pity, I just got the tank filled.” 

One of her other bridesmaids brought over the veil, gently tucking the comb in right above Noemi’s low bun. Noemi brushed her fingers over the comb’s pearls and clay flowers, remembering when Timo presented it to her as an early wedding present. “I was thinking it could be your something new.” Her late grandma’s pearl earrings were her something old, a ribbon from her mother’s wedding dress was wrapped around her bouquet, and a blue-edged handkerchief was pinned on the inside of her dress. Needless to say, it was gorgeous, and as Noemi slipped on her heels, she couldn’t help but think that it had all worked out better than she could have imagined. 

Mohana poked her head in, pushing back her dark hair as she smiled at the room. “Everyone ready?” 

“Bridesmaids are good,” Emily said, looking around. “No?”

Noemi nodded, taking yet another deep breath. “Good to go.” 

“Bouquets are outside, I was just with the guys and everything’s perfect, ties are all tied, boutonnières are all in. The second shooter got a few really sweet pictures of Timo’s mom putting his in.” 

“God, I almost forgot about the pictures,” Noemi said, even though the photographer had been in the room while everyone was getting ready. 

“Alright, let’s go get my bride married!” Mohana beamed. She handed everyone’s bouquets to them as they exited, ending with Noemi. She had designed the bouquets herself, white poppies and red roses and eucalyptus branches all tied together with her mother’s ribbon, but the florist had really outdone herself. A perk of working with the business end of the team was that it took her almost no time at all to get the vendor contacts that the team used for all of their formal events, and a perk of being a WAG was that it took her one text in a group chat to get the number of one of the South Bay’s best wedding planners. And Mohana Kaur had been nothing short of a lifesaver. She had taken Noemi’s vague sketches and fabric samples that she had picked up at Michael’s and turned it into what could only be described as a winter paradise. 

The flower girl, Noemi’s niece Elle, grabbed her basket of petals, looking back at her with delight. “Flowers, Auntie No!” 

Noemi nodded, beaming back at the little girl. “Very pretty flowers, El-bear. You remember what to do with them?”

“I go after Tobias,” Tomas’ son was their ring bearer, and had honestly occupied most of the attention at the rehearsal, not like she minded, “who goes after Mommy, who goes after Auntie Emily. And then I throw the flowers while I’m walking.”

“Perfect, sweet girl,” Noemi said, bending down — as much as she could in her heels — and gathering up the youngest Silva in a hug. She loved her four-year-old niece more than just about anyone, and it was moments like this that made her that much more excited to have children of her own someday. Mohana had silently gotten all of the bridesmaids in order, looking at Noemi as soon as she stood up. “Showtime?” Noemi asked.

Mohana gave her a wide smile. “You know it.” After giving her attendants one last cursory look, she laid a gentle hand on the space between Noemi’s shoulders, left bare from her open-backed dress. “You look gorgeous, Noemi, and the wedding’s going to be incredible.” With a nod of her head, she led the wedding party down the halls of the winery, stopping at the oaken set of double doors that stood as the only barrier between Noemi and the rest of her life. She could hear noise behind the doors, the chattering of the people most important to her in her life. 

Emily turned back towards her sister, squeezing Noemi’s hand. “I love you, No. You picked a good one.” She stepped off to the side as the doors opened, and one by one her bridesmaids walked out, then Tobias, then Elle, until it was only Mohana left. She gave Noemi’s veil a final adjustment, and then the music changed. A gorgeous acoustic version of Coldplay’s Yellow, one of Noemi’s favorite songs and one that had become something of a theme in her and Timo’s relationship. It was playing in his car the night of their first date, she was wearing a yellow dress when he told her he loved her for the first time, they had gone to a Coldplay concert at Levi’s Stadium the summer before the wedding, just after he had flown back from Switzerland. 

Noemi took a deep breath, looked down at her ring, and stepped out the door. Some of her friends had been surprised when she told them she’d be walking down alone. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her dad, or wasn’t close to him — the opposite was true. She just felt that there wasn’t a need to feel like someone was “giving her away.” Nobody but herself had the power to do that, so nobody but herself needed to be a part of that element of the ceremony. It was the same reason she had chosen to hyphenate her name instead of just taking Timo’s. She had always loved the idea of a family having the same name, of everyone being easily identifiable as being connected to one another in that sort of way, and she didn’t like the seeming disjointeness that would happen when they had kids, even if if wouldn’t matter to anyone but her. But she also loved her name, loved how it sounded and what it meant and the connection it gave to her ancestors. So Silva-Meier it was. 

Her veil trailed behind her as she made her way down the aisle, past the rows filled with 200 of their friends and family who had proven invaluable resources and support over the nearly-three years of their relationship. She risked a look at the end of the aisle, just off to the side of the eucalyptus-and-rose edged wedding arch. Where her fiancé was, the last time she could really call him her fiancé. Timo wasn’t necessarily more stoic than most of the other men she knew, and he was actually a fantastic communicator, but he wasn’t always one to show his heart on his sleeve. No such uncertainty today. The corners of his eyes were glassy with unshed tears, a few of which threatened to escape down his cheek. Kevin tapped him on the shoulder, handing him a handkerchief. I hope the photographer got that, Noemi thought distractedly. 

It sometimes was hard for Timo to outwardly show his feelings, especially at the beginning of their relationship; Noemi loved Timo wildly, and there was no doubt in her mind that he felt the same, but Switzerland was never known as a particularly warm-and-fuzzy country, he was still an NHL player with all of the expectations and influences of hypermasculinity that came along with that. There were three times in their relationship where Noemi could remember seeing him cry. Eight months into their relationship, when her mom, Katherine, had had a stroke, he sat with her in the chapel of O’Connor Hospital as she sobbed harder than she ever had in her entire life, and he cried with her. The second time was when he proposed, and when she said yes. The third time was the May before, when the Sharks had gotten within one game of finally hoisting the Stanley Cup but fell to the Capitals in Game 6. At home. She had seen him lose games, seen him lose playoff series’, but that had been a whole new kind of hurt that she had never seen from him, and one that she never wanted to see again. 

This was the fourth, and as she reached the end of the aisle, Noemi couldn’t help but think that if she reached up to her eyes, they’d be wet too. Noemi handed her bouquet off to Emily, and reached over for Timo. “Your hands are shaking, No,” he murmured as the crowd settled back down, their officiant extending a welcome to the crowd that the two barely paid attention to. The introduction, the invocation, all went by in the blink of an eye. “Timo, would you like to go first?” the officiant asked. Noemi had been so caught up in the surrealism of the day that she barely realized it was time for the vows. 

“Of course,” he said, giving Noemi’s hands one last squeeze before beginning. “I always thought it was cliché when people say that love comes into your life when you least expect it, or when you’re not looking for it. A 23-year-old in the NHL usually isn’t looking to settle down and get married anytime soon.” Noemi gave a watery laugh. “But with you, I quickly discovered how right that was. Noemi Francisca Silva, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted and, somehow, you fill parts of myself I didn’t even realize were missing until you came along. I could go on for hours about how much I love you, everything about you. I love how whenever Hozier comes on the radio, you turn the volume in the car up so loud I can’t hear anything else, even when you’re singing along. I love how you never wrap a present without curling the ribbons yourself, no matter how many times I tell you we can buy bows. I love how you don’t even have to ask me what kind of pizza I want when we order anymore, because you already know. But most of all, I love how you’re my partner, my best friend, the person I love the most in this world. And in a few minutes, you’ll be my wife. I love you, No.”

“You had an unfair advantage,” Noemi said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’m calling a foul.” She took a deep breath. “When I look back on our relationship, from the first time we met, to our vacations, to our anniversaries, to the day you proposed, there’s one theme that I keep coming back to. It’s the first thing I thought of when I sat down to write these weeks ago. It’s how you never fail to make me feel so unbelievably loved. It doesn’t matter where we are, or who we’re with. We could be at one of the fundraisers, where you’re meant to be schmoozing with Silicon Valley tech execs, or at a party with our friends. You hear me, you see me, and when I’m with you, I feel like we’re the only two people in the room. The biggest piece of relationship I ever got, from my vovó, was to marry someone who makes you want to be a better person. I’ve never met anyone who does that as well as you do, Timo, and you don’t even have to do anything. I’m a better version of myself, the best version of myself, just from being around you.” She paused, going over the words that she had been rehearsing in her head for two weeks straight whenever her fiancé was out of earshot one last time. “Du bosch mine Schatz, und Ich lieb di Bis dass de Tod eus scheidet.” 

Timo’s breath caught in his throat at her words. He knew that Noemi had been trying to pick up bits and pieces of Swiss German, but he wasn’t always there to help and it was a notoriously tricky language to pick up. That she had done it on her own made it all the more meaningful. “Timo, do you take Noemi to be your lawful wedded wife? Do you promise to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, for so long as you both shall live?”  He spoke without hesitation. “I do.”

“And do you, Noemi, take Timo to be your lawful wedded husband? Do you promise to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others for so long as you both shall live?” Giving her answer was as easy as breathing. “I do.” 

Her nervous hands slid Timo’s wedding band onto his left ring finger, and he moved hers into place above her engagement ring. “Now that Timo and Noemi have given themselves to each other with vows, the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce that they are husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” 

Noemi had had a lot of kisses in her life, more than she could count. There was her first boyfriend, and senior prom, and college parties, and everything in between. But when Timo’s lips met hers, underneath the sprig of mistletoe that hung from their wedding arch, as he became her husband, she knew without a doubt that this was her favorite one.

[itgetsdarksometimes35]

For Freedom

Warnings: This chapter: none; the series: non-con, dub-con, depression, forced marriage, angst, forced pregnancy, 18+

Word count: 4,237

Pairings: Dark!Bucky Barnes / Reader

Summary: Reader is the youngest girl in her family. After being sold to Bucky Barnes, and forced to have his child, she and her sisters look for a way to escape.

~ indicates time change

- indicates a POV change

A/N: Hey you guys! I know I planned on this being the ending, but I thin this will be a small series. The next part will be the ending for sure, though. Hope you enjoy, next thing out will be Love In True Form, and then I’ll get to work on challenges. Then after that, I may have a new series for you all...

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It took months to save up enough money. You only needed enough to get two one-way tickets to Germany, but you were scared to take out too much in fears of James finding out. In that time, your oldest sister, Lucille, had twin boys. She had 5 sons altogether now, and you couldn’t wait to see her again. You hadn’t spoken to her since she was married and taken away years ago; Anne seemed to be the person who was doing all the communicating for you all. The second oldest, Vienna, had 3 daughters before she finally had her son. Her husband refused to give up until he had an “heir.” Anne had only 3 children, two boys and a girl. All the names to your nieces and nephews were a mystery, along with their faces and ages. You could guess Lucille’s twins’ ages were less than a year, but you could never be sure. Anne knew you had your son, but she didn’t know his name. She never asked, and she told you not to tell her. You weren’t sure if your other sisters knew, but it would only be a matter of time before they did. 

Bucky had turned 1 years old a month prior to you both leaving. James threw a small party at a local amusement park that he had rented out for the entire day. His friends and family were the only in attendance, as usual, and the older kids enjoyed the rides while Bucky smiled at all his guests and messed his face with icing from his safari cake. James had been so happy to plan the party; balloon animals, a small petting zoo, and face painting areas all decorated the park. You couldn’t deny the way he beamed at Bucky as he screamed in affection at the baby goat drinking from the bottle or the way he giggled at the stuffed rabbit James’ friend, Natasha, had gifted him. James wasn’t loving with you, but you were thankful it didn’t carry over to Bucky. You wished yours and James’ situation was different. Maybe you’d love him in different lights. 

When James thought you were buying groceries one day, you went out to get you and Bucky’s passport and buy your tickets. The passports would be ready and shipped to your house in 5 weeks, you paid an extra fee to get the expedition processing, and our flight would be the following week.

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“See ya tonight, bud.” James caressed Bucky’s head while speaking to the pouting toddler. Bucky was always upset to see his daddy leave for work, and overjoyed when he came back. Your heart clenched. Were you doing the right thing? Then James turned to you and you shook the thought away. Of course you were. 

“Have a good day, dear. We’ll miss you,” You chirped as you kissed James on the cheek. He turned his mouth up in a small smile before kissing you on the lips. 

“Can’t wait to get back.” He winked at you and your stomach turned at his crud intentions. You were nothing but a walking toy for him, something to cook him food and bear his children. You faked a smile before dipping into the house while James drove off. 

You shut the door and quickly walked upstairs, your cab would be here in an hour. Plenty of time to pack. You set Bucky in his playpen and he looked at you as you frantically moved around yours and James’ shared room trying to throw useful items into the suitcase you brought to the house the day you moved in. 

“Da-da,” Bucky cooed from the pen as he picked up a block to start stacking. 

“Da-da went to work, baby. Now you and mommy are going to go on a trip,” You turned to your son and smiled at him, “Are you excited?” You talked in your baby voice and your son smiled back at you. His 3 teeth on full display for you. 

Your suitcase was filled with as many clothes as you saw fit. Everyone had specific items to bring, and your job was the clothes. Anne and Lucille would bring baby supplies, diapers, sippy cups, toys, etc; Vienna shared your job. The plan was to pack light, anything other than what you absolutely needed had to be left--including photos, and then drain your husband’s bank account for money. Finding out James’ banking information was the hardest thing for you to do, he kept it all locked in a safe in a room that was always locked. After snooping on him one night after he thought you were asleep, you were surprised to see the combination was the day of your marriage. 

As you were leaving the bedroom, you saw Bucky’s baby book. It wasn’t big, and you could fit it in your purse. There were millions of photos on the walls, but none of them were personal to you. They were high tech and flashy photos James had spent too much money on. None of them looked natural. Then again, you had never felt natural with him. But that book held photos you had captured with an old polaroid you found in the basement.  The film was just as old, but there was enough to last you years. You grabbed it and stuffed it into your purse as the Taxi started honking. You picked Bucky up from his playpen and left. You would just have to deal with Anne’s complaining when you got to Germany. 

The taxi dropped you off at the airport 45 minutes before you were supposed to board. You rolled your suitcase over to the bank that was next door, and entered with Bucky on your hip. James listed you as an account holder in the case of an emergency. You were positive he hadn’t seen anything wrong with this, you’d still need to know his information, and he probably thought he had broken you beyond the point of willing yourself to run. Little did he know. 

“Good morning, I’d like to withdraw some funds from my husband’s account,” You said to the older woman with a blonde bob and bright red lipstick. She smiled and set the glasses hanging around her neck on her nose before turning to the screen ahead of her. 

“Alright, name please.” You told her and she typed a few times. “And his?” She looked at you, and you noticed a bit of lipstick in her teeth. 

“James Buchanan Barnes.” The woman nodded and typed away.

“Da-da,” Bucky yelled and you looked down at him with a smile. 

“That’s right, honey, that’s daddy’s name.” Bucky smiled up at you before grabbing at your hair to play with. 

“Oh, he’s a cutie,” The older woman exclaimed, “Can he have a lollipop?” She reached into a brown bowel on the counter separating the two of you before pulling out a blue sucker. 

“I don’t see why not. Thank you.” You took the blue lollipop before turning to Bucky who was eyeing the candy with intensity. “What do you say?” 

“Tank to!” You unwrapped the lollipop before handing it to Bucky. He grabbed it with his chunky hand before greedily sucking on it, already getting a blue sticky streak on his mouth.

You turned your attention back to the blonde, and she asked you for your name and bank information. You gave it to her as she continued to type away at her computer. “Alright, can you tell me the amount you’d like to withdraw today?” 

You cleared your throat before answering, “All of it.”

The woman’s eyes got big. “Ma’am, there’s 2 million dollars in here. Can you give a reason?”

“Yes ma’am.” You adjusted Bucky on your hip as you tried to remember your lie. “My husband, James, was recently in a horrible accident at his job. I understand the hospital can take the money from the account, but they’ve given me the option to give it to them in person as well. I was on my way to catch a flight to him, and decided this was a route I’d like to take. Our insurance wouldn’t inflate because they wouldn’t have to pay anything, too, and now that we have this little one,” You lifted your hip that carried Bucky a bit higher, “I want our insurance as good as possible. We never know, you know?”

The blonde looked as if she were about to cry. “Oh, you poor thing! Yes, of course I understand completely. I have 2 daughters, and when their father got sick our insurance and healthcare went completely down the drain. I wish I could’ve had the money you have, I know it can be terrifying to have bad policies when raising children. Especially young ones.” You were nodding your head, trying to look pitiful. You felt bad for lying, especially to this woman. She looked so bad for you and was able to relate to your fake story. Your stomach flipped, and you felt like you were going to be sick.

“Thank you, I’m sorry about your husband. It’s a horrible situation that some of us are put in.”

The woman agreed and typed on the computer again. A register was opened and she counted out taped together stacks of money. She put them in a cream colored bag along with a receipt and handed it to you. 

“I hope everything goes okay for you and your little one. Us moms have to stay strong and do what’s best.” 

You held back tears at the woman’s words. “That we do.”

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You made your way back to the airport as Bucky babbled a song from a show you both watch together. The bank teller, who’s name you learned to be Camille, informed you that your husband would be emailed by the bank about the deposit due to legal protocol. You knew James checks his email religiously and that he got notifications on his phone. You knew that he was probably on a phone call with the bank right now, screaming into the phone. But you didn’t care.

By the time he figured out you’d left, you’d be in Germany. Or close to it. You planned on destroying your trail once you got there. Anne had planned it all out. She deleted her history and told you to destroy all your letters by burning them. She led her husband to believe you all had traveled to Greece with undeleted searches. It would throw all of them off for a bit, but eventually you knew they’d figure out you went to Germany. You all knew that you couldn’t stay together after a while, it’d be too risky. You knew at some point one of you might get caught, and the rest would have to save themselves. You were fugitives, trapped in your own homes, with men that were supposed to provide security as the guards. But, until then, you’d stick together as long as possible. You were stronger as a team during the weaker parts of the beginning. 

As you boarded the plane you felt a wave of nausea hit you. You rushed to the plane bathroom with Bucky still in your arms. You threw the door open, and emptied your stomach into the toilet bowl. 

“Uh oh,” Bucky said, making you laugh at his purity. 

“It’s okay, honey, mommy’s just a little nervous,” You reassured your son. You flushed and washed your hands before stepping out of the cramped room to find your seat. The plane took off soon after that. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were jerked awake as a flight attendant tapped your shoulder, her brown hair pulled tight into a low bun. 

“Sorry to wake you, ma’am,” She had a smooth voice that you felt could put you right back to sleep, “But you’ve arrived at your destination.”

“Okay, thank you.” She smiled at you before standing up straight to move to the back of the plane to wake up other passengers. Bucky was asleep in your arms, and you planned to keep him that way. He had been good throughout the entire flight, but you weren’t surprised. He was such an easy baby, you couldn’t have been blessed with a better one. Especially not in your circumstances. 

You got off the plane and went in search of your suitcase in the bag return. You quickly found it before you headed out of the crowded airport. Bucky was quick to wake up after hearing the commotion of the early Wednesday morning traffic. Taxi drivers were yelling in German and English to the people exiting the airport, offering them a ride for a “price they couldn’t get elsewhere.” You would’ve taken the offer, but knew that you had to wait for the bus. Anne had said it’d be easier to hide that way. The taxi driver would ask for a direct address while the bus would drop you off at another station. Miles from your true destination. Plus the bus driver was less likely to remember you. 

Your stomach growled as Bucky bounced in your lap. You had eaten on the plane, but had vomited nearly everything up. Your stomach wasn’t agreeing with anything today, but you knew it was just the guilt and nerves you felt. Everything would go back to normal once you were with your sisters, and plus they would have something good for you to have at the house. 

The bus smelled and was cramped with loud people on their way to work. They spoke words you couldn’t comprehend loudly in your ear, and Bucky sat amazed at them. When your stop came, you eagerly grabbed your suitcase, bag, and son and all but jumped off the bus, glad to be rid of it for now. You followed a path Anne described in great detail until you came to houses with numbers. You dragged your tired body along them until you found the number that had played in your head for the past few days. Number 39. Your new home

You climbed the three steps up to the brown, wooden door, and grasped the iron knuckle. You pulled it up and down several times emitting loud thuds to echo in the small community of homes. Bucky grasped the front of your chest and stuck his face into it to represent his hunger. 

“I know, baby, mommy will feed you soon.” 

Your heart beat loudly in your chest as you waited for an answer. You counted 23 seconds before you considered your possible mistake. Did you go down the wrong street? Was 39 the house number or was it the bus number you were supposed to take? Was there any way to contact your sisters? Could you somehow convince James that you had been kidnapped in hopes he’d believe you? Just then the door creaked open. Your worries came to a halt as you saw Vienna standing in the doorway. She had, of course, aged a bit since the last time you saw her. Her hair was shorter and a little bit dull in color and she was skinnier than the chubby teenager you were used to, but there was no denying that was her. 

“Oh my God, Vienna?” Her droopy tired eyes held tears as she took you in. Her lip trembled and she whispered your name. She opened the door wider as she held out her arms to you. “It’s been so long!” 

You held her tighter to you with the arm that didn’t hold Bucky. She pulled away from you as tears escaped from her eyes. Your own were starting to conjugate in yours. Vienna stepped aside so you could step into the small house. She took a peek outside before shutting and locking the door behind you. 

“Where’s everyone else,” You asked, setting your bags down at last. 

Vienna didn’t have to answer as you heard your name being called behind you. You turned and adjusted Bucky into your other arm as you see Lucille stepping out of a room. Her back is a bit hunched over and one of her eyes seemed to lazily shut now. Gray hair was sprinkled across her scalp, and wrinkles were setting under her eyes. She was only 36. 

“Look at you, you’ve grown so much,” She exclaimed, stepping closer to you. You were only 1 when she was married off at 16. She was the youngest one wed, but she was also the prettiest. Your father had no problem finding a man to sell her to. She was the only one auctioned off before 18. Vienna left at 19 and Anne left at 22. None of you were as strong as Anne, she had held on the longest. You had left at 18, too. 

You hugged her tightly. You never got to know her, but you still loved her deeply. You hated the cards you all had been dealt for keeping you apart for so long. You let go as Vienna stepped closer to you both. She rubber Bucky’s small back. 

“And who is this little guy?” She smiled down at him as he gave a 3 tooth grin back. 

You sniffed before handing Bucky to your sister. “This is Bucky. My one and only.” Vienna mimicked the name before bouncing him on her hip a bit. 

“Well, Bucky, I think it’s time for you to meet your aunts and cousins.” 

Lucille took your hand as Vienna carried Bucky into a room filled with kids and a crib with two babies sleeping. They all were watching a TV, but turned to you as you walked in. 

“Kids, come meet your 4th aunt,” Vienna said as she cooed at Bucky. 3 girls and a boy walked over to you and Lucille. “That’s Jade,” Vienna pointed to the girl with dutch braids, “Josephine,” The one with big curls and floral dress, “June,” The one with a ponytail and a sports jersey, “and Jared,” The only boy. They all waved to you, all looking a bit uncomfortable. You didn’t blame them, they had traveled from God knows where to a weird house, and now they were meeting people they had never met before. Probably never even heard of. “And this is your other cousin, Bucky.” Josephine, she looked to be the oldest-- probably 13, smiled at the child. 

“Oh, he’s so cute! Can I hold him?” She looked to her mom for confirmation before looking at you. Her big eyes soft, just like her mother’s.

“Yeah, of course. He’s hungry, do you want to feed him?” Her eyes lit up. 

“Yes!” You chuckled at her enthusiasm, and she gave a shy smile once realizing how excited she sounded. 

“He can eat crushed up fruit, do you guys have any?” Your eyes searched Vienna and Lucille. 

“In the kitchen. I can go do it for you,” The girl replied, scooping up your son before moving through a door that led into, what you assumed to be, a kitchen. 

“We left just in time,” Vienna said, “Her father had already found a man to marry her. She’s sweet, and I know she’d make a great mom one day, but she’s also so smart. She has a life to live before she should even think about a baby,” She sighed, “But of course, women in our situation don’t hold any other value.” 

Vienna’s children had gone back to watching the TV, and Lucille called her children up. 

“Boys, come here please.” 3 boys walked over to you. “This is my oldest, Tennessee,” The boy with dusty hair nodded to you, he looked about 16, “Then Anthony,” the one with curly hair and glasses, “And Kyle,” He had freckles and a dimple on his chin. Lucille pointed to the crib. “Over there are Michael and Ian, they’re 3 months old. Didn’t think I had it in me, but I guess it’s not over until the big change, huh?” You smiled at her as she squeezed your hand. 

“It’s nice to meet everyone,” You say and they nod at you, taking their seat on the floor and couch yet again. There were still 3 kids that were taking steady glances at you, and you were about to ask about them when you heard your name yet again. You turn to the left to see Anne walking down the stairs. 

“Anne!” You ran over to embrace your sister. You and her had by far had the strongest relationship, being closer in age and spending the most time together. You felt yourself crying once again. Anne broke the hug and held you at arms length, looking you over. 

“Wow,” She breathed out as tears flowed freely. She looked exactly the same as she did 7 years prior. You giggled at her and she joined you. A little girl, no older than two, ran to hug her legs. “This little stinker,” Anne said lifting the girl up, “Is my youngest Brooke.” She kissed the girl’s cheek before waving the last 2 boys over. “That’s George,” The oldest one with shoulder length hair, “And Evan.” He looked exactly like your father. Had the same lifted left eyebrow and everything. Anne looked like the man she hated the most, and you knew she’d never be rid of the man who she blamed all her sorrows on. Especially not now that her son looked like him, but you knew she’d never neglect her child. 

Josephine was walking out of the kitchen while wiping Bucky’s hands. You grabbed your sister’s hand and led her over to your son. 

“And this is Bucky.”

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After the tear filled reunion, you found yourself at a small dinner table with your sisters. They were all huddled around it as your nieces and nephews sat in front of the tv and had dinner. They giggled at the silent screen that flashed cartoons at them. Bucky lay asleep in Anne’s arms as she bounced him. 

“Alright,” Anne whispered loud enough for just you all to hear, “So, does everyone know the plan?” You all nodded. Anne had planned this all out. Every time something was needed outside of the house, somebody different each time would leave to retrieve it. It would go in rotation from oldest to youngest. You would carry a burner phone with you and would only use it if there was an emergency. The phone would have one number on it, the house phone, that another sister would be right by until the other one returned back safely. 

After dinner, you helped Vienna clean up. You both had insisted Anne and Lucille get some rest, saying they had gotten there the earliest and were tired. Anne took Bucky to the room you, her, Bucky, Brooke, and June would sleep in. The house only had 3 bedrooms, and 5 people would have to bunk in the small bedrooms with only one king size bed together. It would be a squeeze, but it was all definitely better than the Hell you all had escaped. 

While cleaning, you found yourself not being able to focus on the story Vienna was telling you. Your stomach was turning, fighting the peas and chicken you had just ate, and your head was suddenly hurting. You were sweating too. Were you having a panic attack? 

“You okay, sis?” Before you could answer, you were vomiting up your dinner into the sink. Vienna soothingly rubbed your back as you finished off the remnants. You turned on the faucet to wash away the mush. 

“I’m s-sorry. I guess I’m a little scared still?” Vienna looked at you and gave a knowing smile before resting her hand on your shoulder. 

“How far along are you?”

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The day had been a shitty one. James was in the middle of an important business pitch with Sam Wilson, a promising company from Louisiana that he wanted to partner with, when his assistant rushed in. He tried to order her out, but when he heard “money” and “gone” he had to apologize and excuse himself. After seeing the bank’s email, and hearing the voicemail they left his assistant after she called them, he rescheduled his meeting with Sam, explaining vaguely what was happening. 

James believed someone had stolen your information in order to rob him blind. He didn’t think you would do that, what reason would you have? Name anything on this Earth and James would have it in your hands the very next day. He was clutching the steering wheel with a vice-like grip that was turning his knuckles white. When James got home, he looked on terrified at how it was left. He called your name out while he ran around looking for you and Bucky. Once he found it empty, he started dialing 911. You both were missing.

James was tapping his foot waiting for the operator when he saw it. The picture album that you begged him for when you first found out you were pregnant. It was gone. 

The metal hand clutching the phone crushed right as he heard the female voice on the other side greet James. You and Bucky weren’t kidnapped, you had run away. 

James went downstairs to call his friends, Steve and Natasha. He was going to need their help tracking down his bratty wife. She was smart, he’d give her that, but she’d have to try a lot harder if she wanted to get away from an ex super soldier. 

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@jtargaryen18​ @coconutqueen21​ @collette04​ @stayhazey​ @nsfwsebbie​ @official-and-unstable-satan​

[scullydubois]

Only the Light Ch. 13

13/? | AU where Melissa moves in with Scully after Scully’s abduction | angst, msr slow-burn, occasional fluff | currently: Christmas Eve 1994 | T | 5k | previous chapters | read on ao3 | tagging: @today-in-fic <3

As Scully copes with her diagnosis, Mulder joins her for the Scully family Christmas dinner. Plus, Melissa's girlfriend meets the family.

TW for disordered eating, cigarette smoking, references to abduction/medical rape.

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Self destruction is a natural impulse for Dana Scully, though she’ll try to deny it. Take one unexplained abduction, add a dash of premature menopause, and sift out time spent proving Mulder wrong, and you’ll get a struggling Scully.

She can tell she’s entering a bad mental state when food becomes a suggestion rather than a necessity. Every bite is either earned according to whatever trivial rules she’s set for herself in that particular moment, or is not deserved and therefore not eaten. It’s a game where she’s the coach, player, and referee, yet she still loses every time. Nourishment is both prize and punishment, feeding her hunger but vacating her control.

This habit started when she was a teenager and wracked with feelings her petite frame couldn’t contain. It felt much safer than the route her siblings had taken of sneaking out in the middle of the night or using fake IDs to buy alcohol or skipping church on the regular. As far as fifteen-year-old her was concerned, she wasn’t bothering anyone by foregoing some meals. Her mother disagreed and called her out every time, humiliating her into her second coping mechanism, smoking.

There were the times when Scully was really young and enticed by her sister’s cigarettes, but that was simple preteen rebellion. What developed when Dana was seventeen was something different entirely. A survival mechanism with poison inside, snuffing herself out while keeping her alive and sane. She would walk to the gas station and buy packs of Marlboros with coins from her piggy bank. The laws were lax in the 80s, the prices too. She would blow rings of smoke while walking home, then hide the pack in her bra and swish some mouthwash. She’d repeat the process to and from school, steadily acquiring a nasty nicotine habit. It continued until the summer before college, when she made herself go cold turkey so as not to take the habit with her. As far as she knows, neither her parents nor any of her siblings ever knew about it.

It resurfaces in times of stress, though normally for no more than a single pack. Lately she’s accustomed to keeping a pack and a lighter with her at all times. Her building is smoke free so she steps outside, but her car is off limits because she doesn’t want the smell to cling to her. It is a hassle, but then again, so are most things.

Missy knows about the poor eating habits--those are hard to hide from someone who shares the same space as you. Nevermind the fact that the scale shows six less pounds than before, and that adds up when the number’s not that large to begin with. Scully’s edges protrude now...that can’t be hidden.

Missy never says a word. She remembers Dana complaining about their mother’s condescending comments about her weight, and she knows the damage that does to a young psyche. Instead, she offers. Healthy meals, guilty pleasure meals, all her sister’s favorites. She cooks more than she ever has before, well aware that her sister will struggle to refuse her.

“I recognize what you’re doing,” Missy told her sister when she tried to turn away a caesar salad, of all things. “I’ve been known to do that too,” Missy admitted. “Eat. You’re hungry, you just think not eating will give you some form of control over your body, or your life...but wasting yourself away is letting the bastards win.”

And so she did, that time at least. Scully has enough shame regarding her habit to push it aside whenever confronted---that’s how she insists to herself that it’s not an eating disorder. She can stop on command. That makes it okay, right?

Getting back into the office helped her a lot---you can’t starve yourself and function as an FBI agent. Besides, she would dissolve into thin air if Mulder figured out what she was doing. He was the one who batted around the idea of Scully helping prep each case and supervising any tests he might need the crime lab to do while he’s in the field. He understood that in lieu of therapy, she needed something to take her out of her own mind.

It was as much for him as it was her; at this point, it’s almost incomprehensible to him that the X-Files had existed before her. Of course he was the laughingstock of the FBI! He had huddled in the basement by himself with UFOs and blurry Bigfoot sightings pinned on the wall like a shrine to his own delusion.

Her fall from grace was his absolution. He’ll make an angel of her, somehow. Even if it means he has to meet the devil.

Scully has no interest in becoming an angel, though she’d sure like to avoid hell, and that hasn’t worked out too well. Locker room jokes are one thing. Underestimation another. But assault? Rape? Trauma and torture because she is who she is doing what she does? She is not a quitter, and that is killing her.

Her barrenness haunts her because it was bestowed upon her as punishment, an implication that she only has worth as a walking womb. She wants to be seen as a person, not a pawn.

The arrival of the holiday season is another weight on her shoulders. It used to be Scully’s favorite time of year; now the sight of carolers makes her want to poke her eyes out. It’s the first Christmas without her father, and that is simply unimaginable. Her and Missy spent a quiet Thanksgiving with their mother---small portions and whispered thanks--in preparation for an elaborate family Christmas. Bill Jr. and Tara are flying in from California for the annual Christmas dinner and midnight mass. They will all try to move forward, pretend it’s just like any other year, but it’s not and it never will be again. Happy Christmases are over for the Scully family.

And yet, they will try to enjoy the moment. Missy told her mom that she’s bringing a friend, which is completely true. Trinity is her closest friend that she doesn’t share blood with. That said, she plans to use the occasion to introduce Trinity as her girlfriend, come what may.

Then there was the suggestion that their mother made, which caught her youngest daughter completely off guard. “Why don’t you bring Fox?” Margaret Scully proposed demurely during their weekly phone call. “I’m making a zoo’s worth of food, I could use another mouth to feed. I hate to see any of it go to waste.”

“Mulder’s spending Christmas with his family, I’m sure,” Scully had replied. “But I’ll pass along the offer.”

That was how Scully learned that Mulder’s family isn’t much for celebration, that he usually spends the holiday flipping between It’s A Wonderful Life and the 24 hour marathon of A Christmas Story, and that he has a particular fascination with the idea of midnight mass.

“I just don’t get it,” Mulder mused. “You believe that a jolly old man with flying reindeer leaves presents in your house, but you think he waits until after you’ve gotten home from celebrating Baby Jesus’ birthday? Didn’t you ever look for his sleigh in the sky on the drive home?”

“No, Mulder,” Scully sighed. “I just believed that he knew when we were tucked in bed. Santa’s all-seeing, you know,” she teased.

Mulder chuckled. “Kind of presumptuous to assume he functions on your schedule, huh?”

Ultimately, Mulder said yes. He figured attending the Catholic equivalent of Jesus’ birthday party would be another check off his supernatural bucket list, though he did not say this part out loud for fear of Dana Scully’s wrath. Besides, what else was he gonna do on Christmas Eve? Shake the shoebox of junk he stuck under his mini-basketball hoop so he felt like he was getting a gift?

And so the fateful day arrives. Mulder flips his Garfield page-a-day calendar to December 24th, chuckles at the comic strip of the orange cat eating all his owner’s Christmas cookies, and makes his way to his partner’s increasingly familiar doorstep. The sun has already slipped behind the trees by the time he arrives. It gives up easily in the winter.

He rings the bell and hears Scully’s dainty footsteps on the other side. She’s snuck up on him enough times for him to have developed a keen sense of her light footing--no more jump scares for him.

“Hey Scully,” he stammers as she opens the door. She had told him to look “festive,” so he donned his nicest green sweater (a gift from his mom from J. Crew...he had never worn it) and slacks. Scully rounds out their show of holiday spirit with a velvet red blouse and black trousers.

“You look lovely,” Mulder says reflexively, unsure when he started using such a word. Scully pulls at her shirt, obscuring the bit of cleavage that has revealed itself. “Thanks Mulder,” she mutters, ushering him inside.

He holds up the shiny silver gift bag he hastily stuffed with tissue paper. “Some candy canes I picked up at the gas station. I figured the whole family could enjoy them.”

Scully nods, amused by his feeble attempt at gifting. “I’m sure they won’t go to waste.”

A fire crackles in the fireplace. It’s so hot in the apartment that Mulder is surprised it hasn’t melted the snow outside on the sidewalk.

“Where’s Melissa?” he asks, hoping they will hit the road sooner than later.

“She’s picking up her girlfriend from the airport. She couldn’t get an earlier flight.”

“Dulles?” He sure hopes not. It’s all the way across town.

“No, Reagan.”

Whew. Much closer.

“She should be back any minute now,” Scully continues. “Trinity’s flight got in at 3:30.”

Mulder rolls his sleeves up. “So your family doesn’t know about Trinity?”

Scully shakes her head.

“Do they know that Melissa’s…” He gestures, unsure which word to fill the space with.

“Bi? No.”

“So she shows up with Trinity, and then what?”

Scully shrugs. “She introduces her as her girlfriend. Mom already knows Missy is bringing a guest so she’ll have a plate for her.”

“You’re not worried about how the family’s gonna react?”

“Well, I’m sure Bill is gonna be a dick about it, but that’s normal. We only see him once a year, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Bill’s your brother?”

“Uh-huh. And Tara is his wife. They got married about a year and a half ago.”

Even as he pushes into his thirties, it still surprises Mulder that anyone close to his age could be married. He doesn’t even sleep in a bed.

“You think your mom’s gonna be cool with Trinity?” he asks.

“I think she loves her daughter enough to be.”

“Mmm.” Mulder sticks his hands in his pockets. If only he had dilemmas like this. He imagines him and Samantha speculating about their mother’s reaction to Sam’s nose piercing or dyed hair or...anything really. He would give so much to have someone to laugh about his uncle’s sideburns with.

His emotional deep-dive is promptly cut off by the entrance of Melissa and a brunette woman whose bangs graze her eyebrows, her hair falling just below her shoulder. “Hi!” she chirps, taking in the magnificence of Dana Scully. “Dana, I presume?”

Scully nods.

“May I hug you?” Trinity asks, hazel eyes shining.

“Sure,” Scully says, feeling the brisk air against Trinity’s coat as she’s pulled in.

Scully lets go first, and Trinity takes that as a cue to pull away. “You look just like Mel, wow,” she remarks, fighting the urge to run her fingers through Scully’s hair.

Scully smiles softly. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Oh, it is,” Trinity assures, exchanging a gooey gaze with Missy. Next, her attention falls upon Mulder, who does an awkward half-wave. “Hello!” She points between Mulder and Scully. “Boyfriend?”

Mulder chokes. Scully picks up his slack--”Oh, no. This is Fox Mulder, my partner at the FBI.”

“Ahh,” Trinity smiles knowingly. “Yes, I’ve heard about you. I didn’t know you would be joining us for Christmas.”

“Christmas is not exactly my family’s cup of tea, so I figured I’d get an authentic experience with the Scullys.”

“Same! I’m looking forward to Mama Scully’s ginger snaps. I’ve heard fantastic things about them.”

Mulder elbows his partner playfully. “Damn, Scully! How could you leave me in the dark about ginger snaps?”

Scully rolls her eyes but smiles. “I apologize, Mulder. Though for the record, the fruitcake is better.”

“Says no one, ever,” Mulder teases.

She grins. Now this is Christmas.

---------------------

Taking a seat at Margaret Scully’s dinner table feels like existing inside a Christmas movie, in Mulder’s mind. Fancy china, green and red serving platters, paper mache snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, and a porcelain nativity scene; the dining room has it all. Not to mention the heaping piles of food there for the taking...if this is Christmas, Mulder wants in every year.

Scully does not share his cinematic fantasy. She knows better, having actually attended one of her family’s dinners before. Bill will get too drunk and start saying whatever comes to mind, their mother will laugh along like he’s still a five year old babbling about nothing (as opposed to the thirty-something spewing bullshit that he actually is), Missy will attempt to debate him to get him to shut up (which never works), and she will sit there and wish to be somewhere, anywhere else. And all without their father to hold the reins and keep a fight from breaking out.

The night has gone smoothly enough, Scully supposes. Missy introduced Trinity as her girlfriend in a very non-ceremonial way, forcing Bill and their mother to nod and accept it, in the moment at least. Mulder received a hug from Margaret and a pat on the shoulder from Bill, so pretty much the highest token of approval. Mulder’s candy canes earned a place in the center of the dessert table, which gave him way more satisfaction than it should have, and he couldn’t help but feel that if they were to vote on favorite man at the party, he would win. A room with Bill Jr. in it is probably the only place he would ever earn this honor, and he’ll take that.

Yet everything unwinds as Scully suspected. Bill waits until everyone has packed plates and full mouths to unleash his particular hyperfixation for the night.

“Trinity?” he questions, raising his fork diagonal across the table toward her. “Is that your name?”

Trinity smiles and nods, oblivious to what she’s in for.

“And you know Melissa how…?”

She pats a napkin to her mouth. “We worked at the same restaurant in Oregon.”

He chuckles gruffly. “What was it, one of those gay bar things?”

“No, an Italian bistro,” Trinity continues calmly.

Missy, however, is not so calm. “Gay people can go places other than gay bars,” she retorts. “We’re not segregated. Though I’m sure you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Bill sets a fist on the table, clanging his silverware. “Yeah, that’s what I said. Why the hell do you insist on being so politically correct all the time? I’d shoot myself.”

“Gee, maybe you should try it sometime.”

“Now Melissa…” Margaret Scully’s voice rises above the clamor.

“I have the right to defend my girlfriend and I against Bill’s thinly disguised homophobia,” Missy responds.

“You act like I give a damn what you and your friend do,” Bill sneers. “That’s not my business.”

“Then stop pretending like it is.”

“Oh boo-hoo, little Missy thinks the world revolves around her.”

“Bill, honey, I think that’s enough,” Tara says, laying a protective hand on his arm.

“You’re right.” He raises his can of beer toward Mulder. “Whaddya doin here, hot shot? Trying to seduce my sister?”

Scully frowns, but doesn’t say anything, pushing food around on her plate.

Mulder seems rather unbothered by Bill’s advances. He chuckles. “Actually, I think it’s the other way around.”

Bill snorts. “That’s a likely story.”

“You don’t think I’m worth your sister’s time?”

“I don’t think Dana thinks you're worth her time. You’re not her type.”

“I am sitting right here, you know,” Scully says, staring daggers at her brother.

“Then tell us Dana! Is hot shot here your type?”

Her eyes brush Mulder’s face. His cheeks flush, reddening like a stormy sunset. She wishes she could read his mind. The safe answer and the true answer are not often the same. “I think Mulder is a wonderful man. I’m very lucky to know him,” she answers stiffly, her annoyance aimed at Bill.

“Oh, the old run-around!” Bill scraps his fork against his plate. ”Typical.”

Scully grabs her now empty canned cocktail and sulks into the kitchen, leaving her chair pushed away from the table. Everyone watches her go, but Bill gives off the only visible reaction. He laughs. “Scared her away. Thought it would take more.”

Mulder and Melissa exchange a glance. She nods, granting him permission to play knight-in-shining-armor. Quietly, Mulder slips out of his chair and pushes it back into place. He catches the kitchen door as it swings closed behind his partner.

Her anger concealed from the rest of the family, Scully drops her can in the recycling bin with a bang. She ignores Mulder, instead opening the refrigerator and pulling out another cocktail, saying nothing.

“What is this, your fifth drink?” Mulder brushes his hand over her shoulder, and she recoils. “Leave me alone, Mulder.” She slams the fridge and tries to turn around, but he’s cornered her.

“C’mon Scully, Bill’s harmless. He doesn’t bother me.”

“It’s not fucking about Bill,” she fumes, alcohol fizzing through her bloodstream. She inhales, trying to keep it together in front of the man who has done nothing wrong to her. “Please get out of my way.”

“What’s wrong?” He frames her shoulders with his hands, creating their own little bubble.

“Don’t touch me!” she growls. Mulder knows as soon as hears it: he will never forget the pure anguish in her voice. As she retreats to the corner, he looks down at his palms, the stovetop that burned her...he would cut them off if he could.

Unfortunately, the commotion attracts the Scully’s like a dog whistle. Bill leads the charge into the kitchen, getting a full view of his sister hunched over by the back door while her partner stands by the fridge like an idiot. “Ooo, a lover’s spat!” he exclaims, only nominally concerned about Dana’s well-being.

“Shut up, Bill,” Missy hisses. To everyone’s relief, he does.

Mrs. Scully comes forward, maneuvering around Mulder to get to her daughter. “Are you alright, Dana?”

Scully keeps her back to the crowd. “I just need a minute.” She taps her pocket, confirms that she slipped her pack of cigarettes in. “I’ll be outside. Everyone can go back to dinner, please.”

She twists the doorknob and steps onto the back deck without waiting for any response. Mulder feels the tug of tears in his throat, like a dormant animal waking up in him. He is used to being hurt (though not by Scully, never her), but inflicting the hurt is a whole other beast. He doesn’t know what he’s done, but he doesn’t need to. The look in her eyes, put there by what he thought was a harmless touch, made his heart tremble. He is frozen in place, grateful when Melissa appears at his side as the rest of the party returns to the dining room.

“I didn’t mean to upset her, I was trying to make her feel better about Bill…” he laments.

“I’m sure, I’m sure. It’s not you specifically, she’s going through a lot right now--you know.”

Mulder rubs his neck. “I don’t know if I do.”

“She hasn’t shared her diagnosis?”

His eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. “Diagnosis?! Is she okay?”

Missy sighs. “I think you two need to talk. If she gets pissed, tell her I sent you.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Tell me if she’s okay.”

“She’s okay. It’s not fatal or anything.”

“She would tell me, if it was...wouldn’t she?”

Missy bites her lip. “I don’t know, Fox---Mulder. I would hope so, but I was under the impression you already knew about this, and you see how that’s gone.”

Mulder turns toward the back door, desperation living in his voice. “I’ve gotta go. I’ve gotta check on her.”

Missy nods. “Don’t let her weasel her way out of this one. I’m expecting a heart-to-heart, mushiness and all.”

“Aye aye, captain.”

He turns the back doorknob and slips through the door, trying to imitate his partner’s ninja skills. The old wood on the door frame shakes as he shuts it. He winces--so much for the sneak attack.

Mulder follows the arc of the deck, winter’s bite colliding with him. He didn’t have a chance to grab his jacket, and now that he’s thinking about it, Scully didn’t either. He can grin and bear it but she is all skin and bones, now more than ever. It scares him to see her like that, but it’s none of his business, he feels, to comment on her body. He can break her fall, but he must not provide an extra push.

The wind has no friends to protect nor foes to defeat, so it will give away anyone. It carries the unmistakable tarnish of smoke to Mulder’s nose, an ashy haze that has come to remind him of Skinner’s office and the shadow lingering in the corner. He almost expects to find him there with his Morleys and his sadistic laugh. Instead, he finds a redhead and her Marlboros shrinking against the December cold snap.

“Bum a cig, ma’am?” He scoots up to her, ready to retrieve his own smoke from her long, slender fingers.

“Mulder!” She pulls the cigarette away from her, holding her last puff captive in her lungs.

He wiggles his fingers like an impatient child. “We’re all gonna die someday, right?”

Her jig up, she rolls her shoulders back and releases the smoke with a great rise and fall of her chest. It mingles in the air with the chill of her breath, becoming one and the same as they leave the contours of her body. Head tilted back and lips parted, she is alive with nicotine’s ease and intoxication’s freedom.

It is better than porn, according to one Fox William Mulder. He’ll keep this observation to himself for now.

“Did your parents never teach you that sharing is caring?” he rambles. “C’mon, give me a light!”

“It’s a nasty habit, Mulder.”

“I’m a connoisseur of those,” he replies loosely. “Now, you’re not gonna make me put you in a headlock are ya?”

Scully rolls her eyes. She’s never felt less threatened in her life. “You’re exhausting, do you know that?”

“I’ve heard it a time or two.”

She pulls a cigarette from her carton and slips it into his fingers. They are warm; hers are ice-cold. “I wanted to be alone.” She hands him the lighter, watches as he generates heat from thin air.

He lights his cig and sticks the lighter in his pocket rather than handing it back to her. “According to my calculations, you should be very drunk right now. Other than your Oscar bait performance back there, you’ve got things pretty under control I’d say.”

Scully gestures at her cigarette smoking, teeth chattering self. “Yeah, I’m the picture of health.”

“Do you have some exceptional alcohol tolerance I should know about, because that’d make you very valuable in undercover work.”

Scully gazes out into the distance. She’d smile if she were to look at him right now, and that doesn’t feel right for the situation. “Those drinks have low alcohol content, Mulder. You can buy them at Dollar General.”

“You ever looked at their hand sanitizer? It’s like 95% alcohol.”

“Well, now I know where you go to get your fix.”

He chuckles. “You got me.”

She stuffs her hands in her pockets and he wishes, god he wishes, that he had grabbed his jacket. He’d take off his sweater if she wanted him to--stand there with his bare chest to the cold--but he has a feeling that would only exacerbate the situation.

He tries a more gentlemanly route. “Do you want me to grab your jacket? I won’t give away your trade secrets.”

She folds herself together. “No, it’s okay. It’ll make me get a move on at some point.”

They stand united in their rebellion, blowing smoke and freezing their asses off. Who needs Christmas cheer when you’ve got Christmas resentment?

Mulder sways a bit to keep his blood circulating. He is careful not to bump her. “You wanna tell me why you’re out-Scrooging Scrooge this year?” he prompts as gently as he can.

“In case you haven’t noticed, it hasn’t exactly been the best year of my life.”

“I gathered that, yeah.”

“And it’s the first Christmas without my father…” her voice warbles.

“Shit, right. I’m sorry,” Mulder murmurs.

“...So it just doesn’t feel very celebratory.” She takes a long drag. Mulder can tell that this secret smoking habit is not new to her, and he wonders when she picked it up, how long she has kept it from him.

He takes a deep breath, watches as it is written in the air. “Melissa told me you received a diagnosis, and I think we’ve already established that sharing is caring…”

Scully looks him in the eyes for the first time since he joined her. It has the sudden intensity of a black-and-white film, Scully the 1940s scarlet and he the leading man who pales in comparison to her. There is no one he’d rather be overshadowed by.

“It’s humiliating,” she croaks. “Missy and my mom are the only ones who know.”

“I’ve got the monopoly on humiliation in this partnership, so I wouldn’t worry about that,” he says, flicking some ashes to the ground.

“This is a particular form of humiliation you can’t experience, I’m afraid. Or at least, it wouldn’t impact you the same way.”

“Let’s hear it.”

She sighs. “My abductors removed all of my eggs, causing my menstrual cycle to shut down and me to enter perimenopause.”

His breath catches in his throat. “Jesus christ.”

“Uh-huh.”

He throws his cigarette on the ground and stamps it out, though it could have burned longer. “That’s fucking horrifying, Scully. You’ve got to inform the Bureau. We’ve got to catch these--whatever they are. We’ve got to make them pay.”

“No, Mulder. It’s too much. I don’t want to keep reliving it, I want to be able to move on with my life.”

“How can you move on when they’re still out there, probably doing it to more women?”

She shakes her head, feeling the snag of tears and holding them back for fear they might freeze on her face. “I don’t know, but I can’t think about it like that. It sort of...shatters everything, the idea that this could be a phenomenon happening to other women in secret. I wouldn’t believe it if it didn’t happen to me. I still don’t believe it.”

Mulder shudders. He can’t discern whether it’s from the cold or their conversation. “Do you think it was men who took you? Or do you believe Duane Barry?”

“It seems like a level of monstrosity that only man could achieve. It requires a certain understanding of society, gender roles...dehumanization that only humans could perpetuate.”

Mulder nods. Her reasoning tracks, but the thought of him failing to outsmart humans who stole away his partner is something he cannot fully process. It makes sense that he couldn’t find her if she was in space, but if she was on the face of the Earth, he had no damn excuse.

“You were just gone, Scully...you were just gone.” His aching is so palpable, his voice a cliff’s edge they could both tumble down.

“I know I was.” She takes one last puff, then lets her cigarette fall to the ground. She crushes it with her heel, her force premeditated and brutal. That pain is for the ones who took her, the ones who have obviously never loved a thing at all.

Head bowed, she moves toward the door, but not without grasping for Mulder’s elbow, assuring that he is following behind. He is and he will be, for as long as she lets him.

Inside, the home’s manufactured warmth hits them, unreal in comparison to the cold they have known. The kitchen is as quiet as it was before their ordeal, the dining room empty aside from Mrs. Scully clearing serving platters.

“Where did everyone go?” Scully asks, momentarily alarmed that she may have ruined the entire gathering.

“We’re going to drive around and look at lights before mass. Everyone’s getting ready.”

“Oh.” She looks to Mulder, as if to check that he hasn’t left her stranded. “I think I’ll stay here,” she tells her mother. “Make a cup of hot chocolate and relax for a bit.”

“Well, you’ll be missed. Fox, would you like to join us?”

He takes a leap, hopes he’s got the right idea. “I’ll stay here, but thank you.”

“As you wish,” Mrs. Scully says with a slight smile. Mulder had never noticed her resemblance to her daughter until that moment. It was like looking at a sketch of a famous painting; the lines are there but the colors missing.

Soon enough the crowd leaves and Scully and Mulder settle on the couch with mugs of hot cocoa. Margaret Scully’s tree forms the centerpiece of the living room, and it’s hard not to admire its gold and red decorations and the shiny angel on top.

“That’s gorgeous. Does she do it every year?” Mulder asks, ignoring the steam rising out of his mug and going right in for the kill.

Scully nods. “Every year since we were kids. There used to be a lot more homemade ornaments, but I guess she swapped those for a more elegant look now that we’re grown.”

“Well, it’s beautiful.” He looks at her, curled up with the glow of the fireplace falling upon her, and he feels warmth and safety like never before. It would be so easy to slip in “and so are you,” it is practically begging to be said. But she wouldn’t believe him if he said it now; she would think it was a pity compliment. Instead, he mouths the words, and she is not looking, and that is okay.

She snuggles deeper into the cushions, closing her eyes and letting her mind wander. She is the most at ease she has been in months--here in the house she lived in during high school with the fireplace crackling and her partner by her side--and that’s not what she expected from Christmas Eve. Heaven strokes her skin, and she blinks her eyes open to find Mulder tucking her in with her mother’s microfiber blanket. She smiles her soft Scully smile. “Thank you,” she coos, burrowing herself deeper into the blanket’s embrace.

“You’re welcome,” Mulder whispers into her ear. His fingers tangle in her hair as he pulls her toward him, his lips meeting her temple. She catalogues the feeling for her memory bank: chapped but carrying the hot chocolate’s warmth. She will spend the next while convinced that it was a dream, a fleeting image in the moments before sleep, but she will carry the feeling until she feels it again.

[drzewobojczyni]

How to get rid of a spy (The Penguins of Madagascar)

Dostępna polska wersja/Polish version available

When in the central park ZOO a well-known to the penguins enemy appears, the only thing they can do is sending Private to get rid of him once and for all. No pairings

Old draft finished for @2020madagascarparty theme: Missions

DeviantArt

The day looked like it was going to be just great. In the cloudless sky the sun was shining, a slight wind was blowing, and the school year was coming to an end, so the Central Park ZOO animals could be sure that a lot of visitors was going to show up. Sadly, not everything went as well as it should have. At least, not for the penguins, standing in their habitat.

"Kowalski," – asked Skipper, looking through binoculars. "Can you see what I'm seeing?

"It depends on what's on your mind," responded Kowalski. "Technically, we're looking at the same group of early school-aged children, but I'm guessing you mean a certain person, whom I'm unable to recognize from this distance."

Skipper pulled himself together and handed the binoculars to his lower rank colleague. Kowalski took a look and reacted as the squad member predicted.

"Whoa, momma!" he yelled. "It's the same kid again!"

"What kid?" asked Private, appearing from the hatch.

Kowalski quietly handed him the binoculars. Private quickly found the familiar person in the crowd – this curious, intrusive gaze and notebook with pencil, clutched in hands, could not be mistaken could not be mistaken for anyone else.

"Skipper, it's the same boy that was spying on us!"

Skipper wanted to say that he had time to notice this, but he held back, preferring not to hurt Private's feelings. The young penguin needed to trust the leader.

"Well, we've got to come up with some plan to get rid of him once and for all. Kowalski, any suggestions?"

Kowalski had already opened his beak, but before he had an opportunity to say anything, three lemurs jumped into the habitat.

"Hello, silly penguins!" yelled king Julien

"Ringtail!" groaned Skipper. "We were just going to work on a plan of an extremely important mission!"

"It won't take long, " spoke up Maurice. "You see, a lot of visitors came here today..."

"Thank you, Maurice, the king can speak for himself," interrupted him Julien. "The thing is, when the humans start to throw these fish to you... you've got to eat them quickly, so it doesn't smell!!! And if not, I'll bait Mort on you!!!"

Said lemur tried to make a scary face, but because of his small size, it wasn't effective enough.

"That's all? You don't have to remind us of such things!" said Private

"If you said everything you wanted to say, go away, there's an important meeting happening here." Skipper pushed the lemurs in the direction of their habitat. "It concerns you as well, so be so kind and don't interrupt us."

"I also meant to tell you to not let yourselves get taken away from the ZOO," Julien kept on babbling. "Because lately some human took this Mort away, and now he can't come into our ZOO! If it keeps on going, we'll be left without food from humans." He wrung his hands in despair..

Skipper stopped chasing away the lemurs immediately.

"You've got to tell me everything in detail right now!"

"You won't be ordering a king around! Mort, Maurice, we're going!"

And they were gone

"Well, we have to get necessary informations ourselves." Skipper sighed. "Private, call Rico. We're going to check out how Mort got kidnapped and why nobody told us about it. I've got some sort of plan already."

Kowalski got sad. Although he hadno idea on how to get rid of the spy, but he was deeply hurt that Skipper hadn't even let him speak up. He had no intention to debate his leader.

*

Firstly, the penguins headed to Marlene's habitat. They found her quietly strumming her guitar

"Hello, my friend, I see you're relaxing before the hard work of entertaining humans?" started Skipper

Marlene angrily put her guitar away

"I guess I'll never teach you respecting other's privacy, won't I? Lets get this done. What's the reason of your visit?"she asked.

"We're looking for the informations concerning the kidnapping of certain lemur named Mort," responded Kowalski.

"What, again? In any case, I know nothing about this!"

"It's fine, Marlene, we mean an event from the past," calmed her down Skipper.

"Oh, you should have said it first! Although I haven't seen much, you would be better off asking, you know, the lemurs."

"Due to the reasons independent to us," lied Skipper smoothly, "we can't cooperate with them."

"Why do I have this weird feeling that the reasons are very much dependent to you," mumbled Marlene. "Okay, I'll tell you everything I know, but I remind, there's not much of it.

"Two days ago, a school field trip came. You guys weren't here, you went on some 'secret mission', didn't you? The kids weren't happy. Most of them headed farther, but some of them were lingering. I don't know, maybe they thought that you had been hiding somewhere. Suddenly, Julien kicked Mort right next to your habitat. So, one of the marauder shoved him into his bag. Somehow, he did it so well that it was noticed only after he got into the bus. That's all I know."

"And that's enough for us," said Skipper. "Farewell, Marlene, thank you for cooperating."

After these words, the whole penguin squad left as quickly as it appeared.

For a moment Marlene pondered on what the penguins could be planning. After all, she came to conclusion that she would find out one day, and got back to playing her guitar.

*

"You heard this yourself, Kowalski, we have to place Private..."

"Why me?" asked Private.

"...in the bag," finished Skipper, unfazed. "Kowalski, what options do we have?"

"I suggest using my newest invention – a homing penguin-catapult. There's fifty percent chance of hitting the target."

"Let me guess – and fifty percent chance that the catapult will blow up, turning the shootee into a pile of ash?"

"How did you know?"

"A good leader can predict elements that could make accomplishing the mission harder."

"Or maybe I'll just sneak up and jump into the boy's bag?" asked the potential victim of the device, which ended up with a slap on the beak.

"Private, do not question the leader's orders!"

Private wanted to say that no order had been given, but he decided to keep quiet, afraid of another stroke.

"Kowalski, we'll use your devilish invention," decided Skipper.

*

Transporting the device from the base to the park – with huge contribution from Rico – took surprisingly little time, even despite the necessity of dissasembling it and reassembling it on the spot. Kowalski was typing something into the console, glancing at his notes from time to time.

"Aren't we attracting even more attention this way?" asked Private, still hoping to reason with the squad.

"Are you questioning my orders again?" growled Skipper.

"From my calculations it appears that right here we are least likely to get caught," threw Kowalski without stopping clicking.

"Listen, Private," said Skipper much quieter. "Keeping the secrecy of our squad depends on your sacrifice. It's a very honorable task, and if I were you, I'd be proud of being entrusted with it."

"Calibration finished!" yelled Kowalski.

Private shivered at these words.

"It was an honor having you in the squad," said Skipper.

"I would like to remind that there's fifty percent chance that Private survives the shot," noted Kowalski, whose pride was hurt by Skipper's doubts.

"Oh, right. In this case, good luck, soldier," he spoke to Private. "May you land in the right fifty percent."

Private hesitantly scrambled up the catapult's bucket, and instructed by Kowalski, he got into the most airdynamic position. All that was left was pressing the launch button, which Kowalski did with the pleasure that always accompanied him when testing any of his inventions. Everything seemed to go according to the plan – Private shot into the air like a rocket.

"See, even the equipment is still whole," noticed Kowalski. "According to my calculations, Private should fall into the bag in ten sec..."

In that moment the cattapult blew up in the cloud of smoke. The explosion drew attention of the ZOO visitors, including the intrusive boy, who turned around in search of noise's source. Together with him moved his bag, which was the goal of Private's flight. The penguin fell flat onto the paved with concrete bricks alley.

Meantime, the remaining penguins were shaking off from underneath of scattered parts, just a few seconds ago assembled into a handy ensemble in the form of a catapult.

"Kowalski, analysis," wheezed Skipper, not stong enough to express anger with his voice.

"I didn't predict that the catapult could blow up only after the shot, heh heh..." the penguin laughed nervously, which earned him a stroke with the wing. A cloud of soot flew into the air.

Having disciplined the scientist, Skipper put his mind into further progress of the mission.

"Binoculars!" he yelled to Rico.

Sadly, Rico inhaled a lot of soot and got a coughing attack. Kowalski wanted to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him, but because of his rapid movements he raised even more dust. Rico started to cough so strongly that he espectorated, in order: a rubber duck, ukulele, and something that looked a bit like a food processor, and a bit like a piggy bank. Luckily, a pair of binoulars joined them soon.

"I'm tracking him down, Skipper," said Kowalski, observing the terrain closely. "Wait... I think I've got him... yes, Private on the third! He landed according to my calculations... or rather he would, heven't the kid moved..."

"Is he conscious?" asked Skipper.

"Honestly, I doubt it, he's laying and not moving."

"Well then, let's go, our man is injured."

Three penguins sled to help the fourth squad member.

*

Meantime, Ronald tried to explain his teacher how the unconscious penguin showed up next to him.

"I'm telling you, it flew here from the park! Precisely, from over there!" He showed the direction with his hand.

"Penguins can't fly," responded Mrs Trevor

"Well, it looked more like it was thrown or shot here," the boy continued.

The woman had an unclear feeling that something like this had happened before, but she blamed it on the deja vu effect.

"All in all, it would be better to report it to one of employees," she proposed. "I think I can see someone! Wait for me!" She walked briskly towards the first person wearing a zookeepers uniform that she saw – in that case, Alice, driving a golfcart. The teacher tried to attract her attention by yelling, but the zookeeper was wearing headphones. The cart was moving farther and farther, forcing poor Mrs Trevor to run. A few students laughed, seeing this scene.

Meanwhile, the penguins were approaching their target.

*

Having heard Mrs Trevor's words, belittling his stories about penguins once again, Ronald sighed in despair. The boy had no idea how to prove his suspicions about the group of the birds right, and he definitely didn't want to end up like certain commonly considered a freak Mr X, about whom he often heard on the news. Although, on the other hand, another weirdo with the same obsession could direct attention of the public onto the right tracks.

Suddenly, with a corner of his eye, he noticed the penguins, sliding in his direction, which meant the risk of the unconscious bird being taken away by his peers. Ronald didn't want for it to happen during the teacher's absence. In a surge of genius he shoved the bird into the depths of his schoolbag.

Much to the boy's astonishment, the action caused the penguins to retreat suddenly into their habitat. He expected that the birds would rush to help their comrade, no matter what, but it seemed thet they were too selfish for this... or they had some other plan. Ronald was slowly starting to understand mr X.

*

After a moment, Mrs Trevor and the zookeeper Alice emerged from behind of the corner. The first of aforementioned women was explaining the other the circumstances of the event.

"We saw the penguin right here, didn't we, Ronald?" The teacher pointed under the boy's feet with her hand.

Alice appraised the habitat, then she moved her gaze to the boy.

"And you, I hope, had nothing to do with that?" she asked suspiciously.

"No, of course not!" He tried to hold his nervous grin back.

"If that's the case, where did he go?" asked Alice once again.

"And why didn't you stop him?" added Mrs Trevor.

The boy pondered for a moment.

"He went... in this direction!" He pointed at the park with his hand. "And I didn't stop him because I was afraid of him. I mean, I was afraid for him, I could have hurt him, and then what?"

"You'd be in trouble," mumbled Alice. "Alright, I'm going to take care of this situation." With these words, she turned arounds and walked away.

"I'll check out what the rest of the class is doing. Don't do anything stupid!" said the teacher, who left Ronald to his own devices as well.

As soon as the women left, the boy realised what he had done. The penguins seemingly let go of any attempts to save the colleague, which meant that the whole plan of revealing their secrets backfired. There was only one thing left – getting rid of the evidence imperceptingly and pretending that nothing happened. Ronald made sure that the animal hidden in his bag is still alive, and then he headed to the park.

*

In the bag, Private regained cosciousnes – and regretted it immediately. It was dark, stifling, and the edges of textbooks and notebooks were stabbing his body. He promised himself to never get involved in such a mission.

As if there were not enough problems, the only way of to find out his surroundings were outside sounds and the movements of the bag. From the sounds of the crowd slowly becoming quieter and rustling of the trees replacing them the penguin guessed that the boy is leaving the ZOO.

Private tried to escape before it was too late, but the velcro was holding strong, and the textbooks were giving no support. Constant jumps of the bag was not helping, either. The only thing left was waiting for a miracle.

The miracle turned out to be Alice.

*

The zookeeper was searching through the part of Central Park adjacent to the ZOO, asking the people about the penguin here and there. In the best cases she was met with polite denials, in the worst ones – laughter and unpleasant comments. Despite this, she was not giving up, mostly because of the spectre of paycheck cuts, or, even worse, losing her job, although concern for her charge was not leaving her alone, either.

"He couldn't run away too far," she mumbled. "You never know with these, though..."

She checked yet another bush, with no big results again. Resigned, she got up, turned around... and almost jumped, in front of herself seeing the boy, who informed her about missing penguin.

"It's you again!" she said, annoyed. "Well, then, have you seen anything?" she asked a bit nicer.

The boy shook his head, trying to hide his nervousness and the bag, in which he felt a slight movement. Luckily for him, it unnoticed by Alice.

"Okay, then." She shrugged. "If you see anything, let me know," she said, and left to search further.

*

Ronald was just waiting for Alice to leave him alone. He opened the bag and put the penguin on the ground. He was about to leave, when suddenly the zookeeper returned.

"I think I left..." She registered the scene unfolding in front of her. "… a pen here"

Ronald desperately tried to find some believable explanation, but before anything came to his mind, he felt as his wrist gets into Alice's iron grip.

In one hand holding the found penguin, and pulling the culprit of his disappearance with the other, the zookeeper triumphantly stepped into the ZOO. Both red-faced – although because of different reasons – they stood before the face of the teacher, who was standing next to the gate.

"Your student," said Alice, coldly as ice, "endangered thed life of on of our penguins.

"But how...?" asked Mrs Trevor, glaring at the boy, who tried to turn himself invisible with willpower.

"I put him into my bag and ran away to the park," exploded Ronald. "But you see, they were spying on me one time..."

"You must understand that I can't allow for such a situation to repeat," interrupted him Alice. "If you can't keep an eye on your students, I'm forced to ban the whole class from going to this ZOO."

"But..."

"You have ten minutes to gather the children and leave the garden. Good bye."

Alice turned around dramatically to put the badly battered flightless back in his habitat.

*

Meanwhile, the other penguins were observing the situation from hideout, lazily chewing popcorn. As soon as the zookeeper started to march towards their habitat, the threw the snacks between bushes and sled back to their place before she could notice their absence.

"Well, Private," said Skipper. "You managed better than I expected."

"Thank you, Skipper," responded Private. "But it's more of a coincidence..."

"Don't be so modest, you deserve a reward."

Skipper looked around. Seeing that most of the people had already left, he uncovered the base's hatch and jumped inside. The rest of the squad followed him.

Inspired by a certain post

[mcheang]

White Lie

Inspired by a powerpuff girl episode I remembered.

Basically every time Lila lies, a little white Monster grows bigger and causes havoc. The thing is, it only causes trouble for Lila. And no one else can see it.

For the record, the white lie Monster resembles a very cute, fluffy, Arctic Fox with very sharp teeth and claws.

At first Lila didn’t mind White Lie because he was just a baby fox then and so cute. But whenever she tried to pass him off to the animal shelter or zoo, people ask her “what fox?” And “are you ok?”

So Lila resolved to having this imaginary fox as a roommate. She can handle a naughty pet right? Wrong. White Lie won’t stay in her room but follows her everywhere.

While Lila was at science, White Lie snuck into Ms Bustier’s office and messed with Lila’s exam papers so she was flunking. How can a fox even use an eraser? Let alone a pen?

Lila’s wardrobe was sabotaged so her pants have rips. Her sleeves fall apart at the slightest tugs. Her shoe soles fall apart in the street. All the expensive jewels were swallowed by that greedy beast.

Her bedroom is destroyed so her Mother grounds her until she cleans it up, which she can’t because the white lie keeps messing it up. Apparently he is not house trained.

Her phone contacts mixed up, which in itself is a feat since the fox types with claws.

Her computer password changed. When Max hacks it, he raises an eyebrow at what pops up. Websites to download model essays, her mother’s bank account, and butterfly gardens.

Heck, even her meals are swiped or ruined. That Monster dunked all her fries in coffee and put pepper in her fruit juice. Lila keeps experiencing indigestion from food she thought untampered.

And don’t get her started on what her little white lie does when an akuma attacks.

The white lie keeps tripping her.

Sleep is impossible because the white lie doesn’t take a break. If Lila falls asleep, it still uses her computer or throws her items in the garbage bin. Not that Lila could sleep with a Monster in her room anyway.

Sure Lila tried to blame Marinette for bullying her. Surprisingly, the white lie created an alibi for Marinette.

the only way to defeat it is to have Lila admit the truth.

This, Lila assumed since the white lie ostentatiously grew with every lie she told. By the time the thing was larger than her, Lila feared to tell more lies lest it grow big enough to devour her. (While it had done nothing more than ruin her lifestyle, it was still a carnivore with a very large mouth and Lila was scared of it.)

Lila’s disheveled appearance and ruined homework suggest the work of another invisible akuma, but an akuma and sentimonster show up just when Lila claims the white lie is standing right behind her.

Since Hawkmoth and Mayura can’t create more than one minion, everyone thinks Lila is just going crazy.

Lila knows how to get rid of the Monster, but doing so would also ruin her life. Goodbye popularity and freedom.

It’s a rough call to make. Tell the truth and commit social suicide, or tell neither truth nor lie and live with a gigantic pest forever.

Lila decides to build up her frustration and anger to attract an akuma.

An akuma arrives and turns her into exterminator. Lila zaps the white lie into nothing, but it freaking reappears. Lila is so absorbed by destroying the white lie that even Hawkmoth can’t see, that he retracts the akuma from his crazy pawn, and orders Nathalie to fire her, as well as call a therapist.

Lila claims she is not crazy. That there is indeed a white fox destroying her stuff and ruining her life. At first, people think she hid a wild animal. But those slash marks could be made with a knife, and there is no evidence of a paw print or fox hair.

The fox keeps annoying Lila, and she can’t get rid of it. It has started to even humiliate her in public.

When a stunt pulled by the white lie nearly gets Lila killed, (it involved flaming baked alaska) Lila finally snaps and yells out all her lies.

This confession may have been influenced by the fact that she was surrounded by neither kin nor friends. In fact, Lila was at the restaurant just browsing the menu and admiring the dessert display.

The baked Alaska was for a birthday party, which the Father of the birthday boy was recording.

He totally recorded this crazy girl yelling out weird obvious facts (Like why would she know Jagged Stone?) and shocking confessions (who could hate Ladybug? A truant?).

The video went viral and Lila was busted and treated as a pariah by the class. She was also sent to therapy where the therapist took everything she said with a grain of salt.

The good news for Lila is that her omnipresent tormentor was finally gone. With every lie confessed, the fox kept shrinking until it sulkily went poof. It had a fun time tormenting Lila and was grumpy it couldn’t watch the fallout.

To be honest, I’m kind of sad to see the white lie go. Imagine a baby arctic fox with pristine, fluffy white fur, poofy tail, soft paws, and cute ears. Imagine it fitting into your palm. Now picture it giving a disgruntled bark as it vanishes in a puff of smoke, just when Lila admits she didn’t go to the Dentist.

[purplesurveys]

1149

A

What is your age? 22, but there’s less than a month to go before I turn 23.

What annoys you? Literally every single person who still supports the government at this point. For context, we are back to square one and we’re under the exact same quarantine imposed in March 2020 because of the surge in cases. Nothing has changed and nothing has been done in the last 365 days while people are getting hungrier and poorer. I’m done feeling hopeful for this country and I cannot wait to abandon it forever.

Do you have any allergies? Apparently, grass. Can’t be exposed to it for too long otherwise the skin on my thighs turn red and occasionally even get rashes.

B

Do you know anyone named Billy? Kind of, but they’re girls with their name spelled as Billie.

When is your birthday? April 21st and spending it in quarantine once again this year...

Who is your best friend(s)? Angela and Andi.

C

What's your favorite candy? I like gummy bears and worms. As for sweets, I really like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfinger, Twix, and the Hershey’s Cookies and Creme bar.

When was the last time you cried? Maybe a day or two ago while watching a snippet from Caught in Providence.

Have you been out of the country? Yes.

D

Do you daydream? Not so much these days. I’ve been better at keeping my focus at work.

What's your favorite kind of dog? I love alllllll dogs, but I’d usually be wary of smaller dogs because 87% of the times I’ve met some, they’re aggressive or a bit moody. I don’t like stereotyping dogs as much as possible but because I’ve had direct experiences to back it up anyway, *shrug*

What day of the week is it? It’s a Sunday.

E

How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached, or an omelette with lots of fillings. Balut is also great.

Have you ever been in the emergency room? Only when I was born, I’m guessing.

What's the easiest thing ever to do? Idk, what comes easy to me might not be the same for others. But my answer would be to smile, regardless if it were genuine or otherwise.

F

Have you ever flown in a plane? Yeah, many times. The child-like excitement I get whenever I get on one will probably never go away, either.

Do you use fly swatters? No, my mom usually uses old shoebox covers or rolled-up scratch papers we have lying around to swat them.

Have you ever used a foghorn?: Only in video games lol, never in real life.

G

Have you pet a goat? I don’t think I have. I’ve pet lots of animals before but I don’t think a goat has been one of them yet.

Are you a giver or a taker? Giver, but I’ve been allowing myself to take more these days.

Do you like gummy candies? Love them.

H

How are you? We’ve entered summer weather now, so I feel hot and miserable. It’s also Sunday and I am stuck at home, which doesn’t make me the happiest camper.

What's your height? 5′1″ or a tiny tiny tiny bit taller than that.

What color is your hair? It’s black but on extremely rare occasions I’ll catch a single light brown strand when I play with my hair.

I

What's your favorite ice cream? Cookies and cream and chocolate chip cookie dough. My friend Leigh actually started her own ice cream shop recently and I bought her coffee crumble ice cream, and it is sooooooooo fuckinggggggggg good??????? It’s so rare to find coffee ice cream where I live period, so I’m fucking stoked to have a close friend who makes literally the best one and in generous servings too.

Have you ever ice skated? Many times as a kid. I was never formally trained, but it was something I wanted to try from watching other kids play in mall ice skating rinks; and when I did give it a shot, I ended up enjoying it. Luckily my mom was encouraging and actually frequently dropped me off at a rink so I can practice gliding and all for a few hours while she ran errands.

Have you cheated the IRS? That’s like an American tax thingy, right? We don’t have that here and my employer handles my TIN.

J

What's your favorite jelly bean? Not a big fan but if I had to have Jelly Belly, I obviously would want to get the pleasant-tasting ones.

Do you tell jokes? Yes.

Do you wear nice jewelry? Only on special occasions.

K

Do you want to kill anybody? I don’t want to kill anybody but I certainly wish a good number of public officials would finally die.

Do you want to have kids? Yes. I really wish I could still have a future with them. Thanks for the trauma, my real asshole of an ex.

Where did you have kindergarten? Somewhere.

L

Are you laidback? I doubt my friends would use this to describe me. I for sure lean more towards the uptight side of the spectrum.

Do you lie? Eh, occasionally.

When is the last time you sent a hand-written letter? I have no idea. Christmas 2019 maybe?

M

Ever talked in a microphone? Sure. Many times.

Do you still watch Disney Movies? I very rarely get in the mood for them if I’m by myself, but yes, I’d gladly sit down and watch should an opportunity come.

Do you like mangoes? No.

N

Do you have a nickname? 99% of people call me Robyn while my family calls me Byn, but there are a select few friends who’ve stayed long enough with me to catch other names I’ve gotten over the years, which have since become inside jokes/nicknames. There’s Reben and Rolayn, and literally just yesterday ‘Roby’ happened when I ordered food for lunch so that will probably catch on as well.

What’s your favorite number? 4.

Do you prefer night over day? Absolutely.

O

Are you an only child? No, I’m two siblings away from that status.

Do you wish this was over? I haven’t felt that way, no.

What is the closet orange object near you? An orange tumbler my Kuya gave me as a Christmas gift in 2019. There is also orange tape wrapped around the charger adaptor of my company laptop.

P

What one fear are you most paranoid about? Waking up in the middle of surgery and being unable to speak nor move.

Do you play any instruments? Nope.

Do you think you are pretty? Some days.

Q

Are you quick to judge people? No, unless they are already blatantly showing their character like being rude towards service staff, tossing their trash to the ground, or cutting in queues. Whenever those things happen I give myself the space and freedom to guiltlessly judge.

What do you keep quiet about? How dysfunctional my family really is, and the things I really want to say about Gabie.

Do you have any quirks? Food-wise, I like peeling off the breading from fried chicken and placing them on the side of my plate so I can eat them last, because they’re my favorite part.

R

What’s a good reason to cry? Frustration. Crying can be really helpful in lessening stress.

Do you think you're always right? No.

Do you watch reality TV? Not religiously, but I love watching snippets of reality shows on Facebook because they’re all so embarrassing and it’s hilarious to watch hahahahah. Literally last night I was watching clips of Big Ed on 90 Day Fiance.

S

Are you a social person? More so now than I was years ago.

What states have you lived in? I lived in Manila briefly but it didn’t take long till we transferred to another city for a more peaceful life in the suburbs.

What is your favorite season? I wanna say winter because of what I’ve seen from it in movies and shows, but I’ve never actually experienced it before.

T

When did you last sleep in a tent? Sometime in March or April last year.

Do you like tomatoes? Mostly in diced form. Tomato sauce is fine but I don’t really like it in my pasta. Bloody Mary also tastes rather awful.

What time did you wake up? 8:30 AM.

U

Do you have an umbrella in your car? I think so, yeah. I finally placed one in there lmao.

Do listen to Usher? Eh, not really. 2000s R&B isn’t my thing, save for Beyoncé.

Describe the underwear your wearing? It’s light blue.

V

What’s the worst veggie? I never learned to like pechay. I’d still eat it, but only because I like cleaning up my entire plate.

Do you like movies with violence? Some. Like I hate action movies but I enjoyed A Clockwork Orange and Scream lol.

Where do you want to go on vacation? I recently bookmarked an Airbnb in Zambales and the accommodation is basically this super cute line of tipi-styled huts by the beach. I'd love to have a solo trip push through once this Covid mess subsides.

W

Ever been on a wave runner? No.

Where do you work? I work in a PR company.

Do you wish on stars? Just sometimes.

X

Have you ever had an x-ray? Only for mandatory medical exams.

Do you own a xylophone? I think I had a toy one as a kid, but it’s not with me anymore.

Have you watched the x-games? No, not interested.

Y

What did you do yesterday? I stayed at home; ordered food for Angela as a surprise; debated if I should buy a pair of Air Maxes – and ultimately decided I’ve already spent too much this month to deserve a new pair of shows lol; and just settled to buy a new night lamp for my bedroom. I also watched the newest episode of 2 Days 1 Night and ate more of Leigh’s ice cream while doing work.

Do you like the color yellow? Only in mustard yellow. I also like the song Yellow, heh.

What year were you born?: 1998.

Z

Do you believe in the zodiac? No.

Has your bank account been at zero? No. I remember when I was first opening my own account at the bank and the clerk told me to make sure I don’t go below P2,000, and my intensely by-the-book ass has been following the rule ever since, even though my dad has told me it’s absolutely fine to go below it so long as I have P2,000 back in the account after a month hahaha.

Ever been to the zoo? A few.