#she used to freak out and spend an hour putting on makeup every time we went to walmart while we sat out in the car

[mactiir]

ranking baldur's gate characters by how i think they smell

#9) Minthara. Because she’s a corpse, next question.

#8) Lae'zel. You know this woman has never bathed. Washing is for the weak, is'tik. She says this is because needs her musk to attract mates but mostly it's cuz Gith education doesn't exactly make time for personal hygiene. Once it got so bad that Tav dragged the whole party through a chest-deep stream and stood there for 20 minutes to take a "breather" while Laezel stared daggers at them the whole time.

#7) Karlach. I want Karlach to smell nice so badly, and Karlach probably wants Karlach to smell nice too, but you know this woman smells like brimstone and engine exhaust and sweat. On good days she smells like the fine char you get on burgers on a summer day. On bad days she smells like a truck stop at peak hours, and the truck stop is also on fire. She's not happy about this either.

#6) Gale. Gale tries to keep himself groomed, he really does. But he looks like he is perpetually just a tiny bit smelly. Like he hyperfocused on a book slightly too hard for slightly too long and as a result he forgot to shower for a week. He acts like he bedded Mystra because of his towering intellect but really it's cuz gods don't have human senses of smell. His nightshirt looks velvet, too, and you KNOW it can't be easy to get smells out of that shit without a washer. He is one of those poor guys who is cursed to always stink a little bit no matter how much he showers. When Tav confronts him about this he decides, on the spot, that deodorant is for anti-intellectuals, actually, which he wouldn't have expected Tav to know but it's okay, we can't all be enlightened.

#5) Minsc. He doesn't reek exactly, but you know he's 100% man musk, hamster bedding, and butt-kicking

Tied for #5) Jaheira. You know 100 years of living in forests and adventuring with Minsc has endowed her with exactly the same level of manly perfume as Minsc (except with notes of cedarwood).

#4) Wyll. He used to be the best-smelling until Mizora pulled him through every level of hell in rapid succession, and now he smells a little bit like brimstone all the time. He sometimes rubs fragrant herbs on his horns to counteract it, which doesn't get rid of the smell, really, but it gives his smell an interesting dimension. Otherwise, he has enough experience with adventuring, and is well-bred enough, that him and his things are usually well-groomed (and also because his dad was a freak about it).

#3) Shadowheart. This woman puts on tragic makeup every morning and changes her hair to reflect her religion. Appearances are EVERYTHING (especially when it comes to keeping secrets). Shadowheart smells exactly like she thinks she needs to smell to be religiously pleasing to her goddess and/or coMplEtE thE mIsSioN. She does get anxious sweats though, which are very distinctive if it's been a long day of adventuring. She never admits this, though. Ever.

#2) Astarion. Okay, so, sometimes, he smells just the teensiest, tiniest bit like dried blood. But mostly, he smells like baby powder and potpourri. It is a waste of good fashion sense and his pretty face to go about stinking like a beggar. (He does go through a brief 'Cazador can't tell ME what to do' phase where he stops bathing for a day, but he grosses himself out so much that he resumes his normal routime before anyone notices.)

#1) Halsin. You'd expect him to stink, with his whole smelly-hippy free-love vibe, but nah. The man smells heavenly. He spends all his time frolicking through fragrant herbs and lounging in scented hot springs with whomever strikes his fancy. He probably has a whole ass medicine cabinet full of stuff he uses to freshen up. His breath probably smells like mint and his hair like cedar. He probably puts coconut oil or smth in his hair. He knows how to smell good as literally any animal in the realms. Wanna know why? Dogs have a sense of smell several thousand times better than people. I bet bears do, too. You do Not Fuck As A Bear without understanding not only how to WASH your ass, but also perfume it. Halsin also knows: thou shalt not give yeast infections. And if you got bear dick, that means HYGIENE. It's a point of pride for him, actually.

BONUS: WITHERS. Withers smells like nothing. Like, freakishly, unsettlingly like nothing. Like, you expect him to smell like dust or pitch or smth. Nope. He's a black hole of smell. You come near him and if you ask, he resets your entire hygiene routine for 100 gold and leaves you smelling like roses.

[here-there-were-dragons]

have i ever mentioned in the past that she also thinks she's the direct reincarnation of some supposed chinese empress (literally her only reasoning for this is that said figure had a name that sounds vaguely similar to hers) and of some scottish warrior princess she insists she had a dream about being who sounds suspiciously like merida, and an actual fucking psychic that's being hunted by a secret government team of "remoters" and that the spirit of jolkien rolkien tolkien himself appeared in her dreams to give his blessing on her husband's fanfic, hit on her, and tell her all about his secret asian girlfriend (who allegedly looks suspiciously like her white ass, of course) that she is now absolutely convinced he definitely had in real life? none of these things are ever fleeting episodes either, there are 100% constant consistent core beliefs of hers.

idiot fucking mother still absolutely convinced she's the direct descendant of princess anastasia and the rightful ruler of all of fucking russia and that when shit inevitably hits the fan irrevocably here (because the supreme court just ruled the president is functionally a king without asking literally anybody and all and did it in a way that's from what i've heard effectively legally irreversible) we can go to switzerland to "claim the family money", god this stupid bitch is literally going to get us all killed chasing her stupid goddamned narcissistic delusions of the world LITERALLY revolving around her personally

[i-think-i-did-it-again]

A little clearer II

A/N: I had a request to turn this into a mini series so here is part 2! Enjoy!

Warnings: swearing, drinking, drugs

6 months later

From that first night together, you were hooked. Colson and you became completely inseparable. Every moment of every day, you thought about him. You found every day tasks hard to focus on because all your mind wanted to do was think about him. Think about his piercing blue eyes, his full pink lips, his bright smile, the sound of his melodic laugh. Then your mind would wander to the feeling of him. The warmth of his body as you nestled against him. The way he always smelt of a mixture of cologne, mint and weed. The way his long arms wrap around your body and make you feel so safe. Listening to him talk about his interests, about his music, about Cassie. You could sit for hours and just listen to the sound of his deep voice, filling your ears.  

“Hello, earth to Y/N?” Sophie waves her hand in front of your eyes and you’re immediately snapped back to the world around you. You’re sitting in a cafe, listening to Sophie talk about a party she’s hosting.

“Sorry, I promise I was listening,” you blush and avoid her eyes. You’ve never been the best liar.

“Ok, repeat back everything I just said?” you sip on your coffee to avoid her question and she bursts out in fits of laughter. “I’m totally kidding but the look on your face was fucking hilarious! What I said was, I've told everyone to come around 9 but I know Kellz will be in the studio until at least 10 so if you want to come earlier and help me set up, that’s cool.”

You try to ignore the fact that you’re annoyed that she seems to know Kellz schedule better than you these days but it does prick up a red flag in the back of your mind. You spent all over yesterday with him and he didn’t once mention going to the studio today or that he was even working or anything new. You don’t want to become that girlfriend that feels the need to know where her boyfriend is every hour of every day but you feel like that should’ve been something he’d mention considering you live together and you’d assumed you were going to the party together. He was still in bed asleep this morning when you left for your girl’s day with Sophie, so it wasn’t like you’d expected him to be going anywhere.

“What’s to set up? You put a bong in one corner, alcohol in the other, play music through your sound system and make sure your bed has fresh sheets for the freaks?”

“Don’t even joke about that! My bed is my sanctuary and my party is a cocktail party so there will definitely be no bong corner, especially after what happened last time.”

***********

After a quick phone call with Colson, where he confirms that he will be in the studio all day, you decide to take Sophie up on her offer and head over to her place around 4pm. At the cafe, she talked you into letting her do your hair, makeup and pick your outfit from something in her closet because according to her, flannel shirts are ‘not proper cocktail attire!’ You shrugged it off because you knew she was only trying to help but it wasn’t like you were looking to impress anyone. You had already found someone that you would happily spend the rest of your life with so why bother putting in so much effort for a bunch of strangers?

Ashleigh showed up no long after you and between the two of them, your head was spinning. It may have also been from the excessive use of hairspray, setting sprays and perfume but the constant yanking from one to the other was full on. Sophie wanted to start your hair first, Ashleigh wanted to start your makeup, Sophie wanted you to pick an outfit, Ashleigh didn’t like any of the outfits picked out. By the third outfit change, you were overheated, dehydrated and completely done.

“Ok, seriously you two, cut it out! I’m done. I want to pick my own clothes, I want to do my makeup my own way and my hair is fucking fine in a ponytail!”

“Sorry honey, we just got a little carried away playing dress ups we kind of forgot you’re an actual human being,” Ashleigh apologises, handing you a cold bottle of water. You gulp down half of it in one go and the room finally stops spinning.

“What do you want to wear?” Sophie asks, holding up a couple of dresses you hadn’t noticed before.

They’re all vastly different styles but somehow all similar in their classiness. The first one that catches your eye is a red, spaghetti strap, silk maxi dress, that’s tight in the bodice and then flares out as it trails down. You actually think you might love it until you notice the slit on the left side. You don’t really like the idea of a slit that leads halfway up your thigh so you shake your head. Sophie tosses it aside and holds up a black sparkly dress. This one is short but has long sleeves. It’s tight fitted without trying too hard but you’re slightly put off by the deep V of the neckline. You look down at your chest and realise you’d probably have to go braless, which would be fine until you had a couple of drinks and were less self-conscious of your boobs falling out. Sophie can immediately tell by your face that the answer would be no and she tosses the dress. She’s left holding the last dress and you fall in love instantly. The dress is a white lace, off the shoulders with a love heart neckline and would sit just above your knees. Pattern of the lace is like tiny roses and you melt at the delicacy of the dress.

“That one,” you utter, your face instantly lighting up.

Within seconds you’re pulling the dress on while Ashleigh grabs the perfect pair of nude heels to go with the dress. Sophie fixes your makeup and gives you a pink nude lipstick to apply to your lips, to match your shoes. You check yourself in the mirror while Sophie and Ashleigh wolf whistle behind you. You blush and shrug them off as you sit on the bed and watch them finish getting themselves ready. You pour yourself a glass of champagne from the bottle that Sophie bought up and sip it while Ashleigh and Sophie fight over the hair straightener. After what feels like forever, they’re finally both ready. For some weird reason, they insist that you walk ahead of them, even though it’s Sophie’s party. 

As you walk down the hallway towards the stairs, the sound of hushed voices can be heard and you find it weird that there’s only soft classical music playing in the background. As you reach the balcony of the stairs you stop dead in your tracks. Standing there, surrounded by vase after vase of pink roses and candles, is Colson in a crisp black tux, a huge grin plastered on his face. His usual mess of hair is slicked back and styled away from his face, a single strand falling back over his forehead. As you get closer to him, you look over the landing and realise there’s a large crowd gathered below. A mixture of your friends and family, even your mum and dad, are staring up with matching smiles. You look at your mum and notice the few pin pricks of tears in her eyes and your stomach immediately drops. Colson reaches his hand for you and you take it. He draws you closer so his lips can reach your ear.

“I knew you’d pick the white dress,” he whispers in your ear and a chill runs down your spine. 

Before you realise what he’s doing, he’s down on his knee in front of you, your left hand wrapped in his, as he looks up at you. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small black box and flicks it open with his long, slender fingers.

“Baby, I have loved you from the time I met you and I know we’ve only been together for a little while, I know that I will never love anyone the way I love you. So, Y/N, will you do me the honour of becoming mine forever?”

Every word in the English language has completely escaped you in this moment. You stare between him, the massive diamond ring and the crowd of people below and all you can muster in this moment, is a stunned nod of your head. Everyone below erupts into cheers and applause and Colson stands to kiss you, placing the ring on your finger. The feel of his lips on yours wakes you from your confused fog and it suddenly hits you like a train. You just got engaged. You kiss Colson as intensely as you can, knowing that you’re in full view of your parents, and when you pull away a huge grin spreads across your face.

“So, at the studio all day huh?” you smile knowingly at him. He chuckles and pulls you against him, kissing your hair.

“I had to beg Soph to take you out because I knew if I spent longer than 10 minutes with you, I’d give something away,” he explains as he leads you down the stairs to your family.

***********

You feel like you’ve hugged 1000 people tonight as you collapse onto the couch beside Rook. You feel exhausted yet giddy at the same time and you can’t keep up with your own emotions. Your phone vibrates in your hand again and you wince at the idea of looking at your social media again. You already know that multiple guests and Sophie posted that you and Colson were engaged and your phone hasn’t stopped since. You kick your heels off and rest your feet on the coffee table. You don’t think your feet have ever ached this much. A few more guests drunkenly stumble past, the last of the crowd to leave, heading for the door with a wave and you let out a sigh. 

After your mum and dad hugged you and cried for what felt like an hour, you were essentially passed around the room like a bag of chips. Each person wishing you well and gushing over Colson’s romantic surprise. A few even joked that maybe he should plan the wedding considering how well he planned the evening. You laughed along with them even in your mind you were thinking over my dead body. 

“Long night kid?” Rook mumbles beside you, slinging an arm over your shoulders.

“You could say it’s been the most amazing and overwhelming night of my life,” you chuckle as you lean into him.

You know he’s been planning this since the week after you two go together,” Rook confesses and offers you a sip of his whiskey. You take it, the familiar burn hitting the back of your throat.

“I highly doubt that Rookie,” you laugh him off but the look of seriousness on his face shuts you up fairly quickly.

“I’m being serious. You called me and demanded I come over urgently and when I got there he had brochures full of diamond rings and he looked me dead in the eye and said ‘I’m gonna marry that woman’. He organised Sophie to take you out to get your nails done and a facial. I suggested a different type of facial and got my ass handed to me,” you snort and Rook grins at you before continuing. “He begged Ashleigh and Sophie to keep you occupied while he got everything set up, which they didn’t want to do because they knew what a pain in the ass you’d be about getting dressed up.” you punch him in the stomach and he laughs. “Seriously though, he wanted the whole thing to be perfect because he wanted you to know just how much he loves you.”

You contemplate all this information as you think about how much more you’ve fallen in love with Colson. You always thought he was the impulsive type. The kind of guy to never really think things all the way through. His spontaneity is one of the many reasons you fell for him. You could go to his house and walk in to find many different scenarios. A full house water balloon fight, staircase tobogganing, strip pool or, your personal favourite, blind-folded chasey. The thought of Colson sitting down and planning every little aspect of his proposal makes your heart swell and you have the sudden urge to be with him.

You stand up from the couch, the dull ache in your feet causing you to wince slightly, and you pad around the house in search of your prince charming. You walk around the entire area of the ground floor of the house, even poking your head into the powder room, but Colson is nowhere to be found. You slip out into the backyard and hear the familiar sound of his voice in the darkness. As you’re about to call out to him, you catch the end of his sentence.

“Honey, I know you still love me but I’ve moved on,” he whispers and you realise he’s talking on the phone. “Yes, I think about you from time to time but it will never be the same as it was before. I have to move on and try to be happy. No, don’t cry baby.”

Your heart drops and your blood runs cold as you realise he’s talking to his ex. You feel your surroundings begin to spin and like your chest may cave in. You slink back into the house as you try to catch your breath but you just can’t seem to get any air in. You stumble through the kitchen but you don’t make it past the island bench before you sink to the floor. Your eyes are blurred from your tears but you can feel the hands of people reaching out to you. You hear the overlapping of concerned voices as your friends try and work out what’s wrong. You can’t form a sentence as you still struggle to take in a deep enough breath.

“What the fuck are you all doing huddled on the floor?” you hear Colson’s voice break through the fog and suddenly you're filled with white, hot anger.

“You mother fucking asshole!” you roar, jumping to your feet so you can be in his face. Well, as much in his face as you can be given that he’s a good head taller than you. “How could you?”

“Baby, what’s wrong, why are you crying?” Colson’s voice is full of concern as he takes in your distraught features and hostile tone.

“Don’t you dare call me the same name you call her!” realisation dawns on Colson’s face and he immediately backs away from you, shaking his head. “What, you call us both that so you don’t accidentally call us by the wrong name?” he doesn’t say anything, he just continues to shake his head. “Fucking cat go your tongue Baker?”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” he mutters, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room.

“No fucking shit I wasn’t meant to hear. How long have you been seeing her huh? Sneaking around with her behind my back while I fell in love with you!? What were your words ‘I think about you from time to time but I have to move on and try to be happy’. So clearly I was delusional when I thought the last 6 months were the happiest of both of our lives!” you turn to walk away from him, sick to your stomach at the sight of his face but he grabs your arm to stop you.

“Wait, let me explain! I just tell her that shit to make her feel better. I don’t mean any of it. She’s only ever called me twice the whole time we’ve been together and I just tell her what she wants to hear so she’ll leave me the fuck alone. The last time I told her I was happy, she called me relentlessly for months until I told her what she wanted to hear. Tell her please Rook.” Colson turns to Rook with begging eyes and Rook nods his head.

“She hates the idea that he can be without her so she hounds him but he’s only spoken to her one other time and that was when you two went public. As soon as Kellz says ‘I’ll try to be happy’ she backs off and leaves him alone,” Rook explains with such a deep honesty in his eyes that you feel your anger dissipating. “Honestly, the woman needs some serious fucking help.” everyone else nods their head in agreement and you realise that you really can’t imagine Colson wanting to go back to her or having a secret relationship behind your back.

“I want you to call her right now and tell her the truth,” you look back at Colson and he pulls away from you. “No more lying to her, no more making her think that you’re not in love and that you’re not happy. Tell her the truth and tell her to fuck off or I’m done.”

Colson immediately pulls his phone out and dials her number. He tells her everything. That he’s been lying to her, that he’s in love with you and has been since the moment he met you, that he’s marrying you because he can’t imagine his life with anyone else and that he wants absolutely nothing to do with her. You hear screaming and crying on the other end of the line  and a few ‘bitch’ which you assume is directed towards you but Colson’s resolve doesn’t waver once. He tells her he wishes her a good life and hangs up the phone before she can say another word. Everyone kind of stares at you, waiting for you to do something before anyone else speaks. 

You think for a few seconds before turning and heading towards the front door. Everyone parts like the red sea to let you pass and you grab your original shoes from the front door before heading out into the warm night. You can hear Colson calling your name but you don’t stop walking to your car. Eventually his long strides overpower your own and he’s in front of you, blocking your path.

“Will you just stop for a second and talk to me goddammit!” he screams in your face and you step away from him. He reeks of alcohol and weed.

“I don’t have anything else to say to you,” you tell him calmly and cross your arms over your chest. 

“Please baby, you know I prefer yelling to the silent treatment. The silent treatment drives me insane and you know it,” he begs and your anger begins to rise again but you take a deep breath to push it back down.

“Do you know what I prefer baby,” you spit at him and he flinches away from you. “I prefer when my boyfriend is honest with me. I prefer when he acts like a fucking adult and has a rational conversation with me about his ex. You know what drives me insane? Lies! Feeling like everyone is in on something that I’m completely oblivious about. The fact that Rook knew about your little phone conversations drives me so fucking insane I may actually have a full on meltdown. So please, don’t try and get sympathy from me right now about your needs and wants because frankly my dear, I couldn’t give a rat’s furry ass.” and with that, you push past him and climb into your car, driving away into the night.

[amazingmaeve]

right where you left me ↠ f & g weasley

━ “i like you for you, you know that.”

summary ━ Y/N is heartbroken when Fred breaks up with her and leaves her at Hogsmeade and she feels like she’s frozen in time. Until someone snaps her out of it.

warnings ━ angst, fluff

a/n ━ no twincest. also no hate to angelina or fred. Loosely based on ‘right where you left me, by taylor swift. Also may make a part two if i’m up for it.

word count ━ 2.3k

tags ━ @risingtripletaurus @hey-there-angels @lindsaytriestowrite

Before the war everything was fine between Y/N and Fred. They were in a relationship ever since their 4th year. Fred Weasley and Y/N Y/L/N were hopelessly in love.

Then the war came. Everything changed after that.

Y/N knew that Fred must be going through a tough time since a wall almost crushed him to death. She was there when he woke up screaming from a nightmare. She held him while he cried. Comforted him when he needed it.

She suggested a therapist where he can talk his problems out. Fred immediately declined not even thinking about it for a second.

They no longer went on dates where they could spend time together. Laugh and be in love. Fred put his focus on the shop which Y/N could understand since she worked there as well.

Before the war Fred would cheer Y/N up whenever she was sad, angry, frustrated or even when she had a bad day. Fred would there to cheer up, making her smile and laugh.

But now when she had a bad day Fred didn’t even know. Not even when she was sad or angry. It was like he was falling out of love with her.

Y/N would usually shake those thoughts out of her head not believing it.

Fred worked longer than she did and always came home late. Y/N assumed it was work getting to him. Also him not wanting to sleep because of the nightmares, which she completely understood.

She didn’t want to make Fred worry at all since the war so she tried doing her best with everything. Cooking, cleaning, doing laundry so he didn’t have to do it.

She assumed this was the normal. Y/N was happy for the moment. She was here with Fred and everything was okay. It would’ve been much worse if Fred had died she told herself.

She was content for the moment.

Everything was fine. Until it wasn’t.

Fred told Y/N that they would be going on a date tonight which made her really excited. It’s been awhile since He took her out.

She got dressed in her favorite dress and put on makeup to make her look presentable. When she was done finishing putting her earrings on she looked at herself in the mirror.

She smiled at herself. She felt so happy at the moment. Fred might be coming back to her and that was the best thing in the world.

Fred took her to this really nice restaurant where she ordered some salad while Fred ordered some steak. He was being very quiet which confused Y/N.

“What’s wrong Fred are you okay,” Y/N asked worriedly while she put her hand on his. It surprised her when jerked his hand away from her.

“We need to talk,” Fred says, not looking at her in the eyes, this makes her heart sink into the bottom of her stomach.

“About what,” Y/N asked as her voice wavered a bit out of nervousness. She dropped her hands to her lap and picked at her nail wondering what he was going to say.

“I think we need to break up,” Fred blurts out making her eyes widen.

Many emotions are running through Y/N. Confusion, sadness, a bit of anger. Her lip trembled when she met his beautiful eyes.

“Who is she,” Y/N sighed tears brimming her eyes as she looked down at her lap. She didn’t know if he cheated, she just wanted to know if she did. Fred let out a sigh.

“Angelina Johnson,” Fred answered. Y/N could feel the tears falling as the name slipped out of his mouth. Angelina has a crush on Fred in Hogwarts but Fred always reassured Y/N he never liked her.

“Of course,” Y/N scoffed, tears finally falling down her cheeks. He didn’t love her anymore. She thought they’d be together forever. The mascara must be wearing out from the few tears that came out which probably made her look like a freak show.

“Also I think you shouldn’t work at the shop anymore,” Fred says softly. It took everything for her not to cry. She was losing her boyfriend and her job in one day.

Y/N nodded not looking at him. Fred got up putting the money on the table and walked over to Y/N kissing her forehead. The contact made her flinch.

“I’ll come pick up my stuff tomorrow,” Fred softly says before leaving Y/N in the restaurant. She tries to finish her salad to get something in her stomach but she just couldn’t.

She finally got up wobbling on her legs. Putting a tip on the table before leaving the restaurant.

The cold air is a sensation that made her flinch as soon as she stepped out on the sidewalk. She walks home as tears slip out of her eyes as reality sinks in.

Fred doesn’t love her, he loved Angelina.

She puts her hand over her mouth to cover up the sobs so people don’t look at her weirdly. When she finally gets inside her flat she falls on the ground sobbing into her arms.

Y/N pulls her knees to her chest and rocks herself back in forth. What did she do wrong to make Fred not love her anymore? Did she not love him enough?

She got up after half an hour of crying and put her pajamas on. She looked inside her closet and saw Fred’s quidditch Jersey.

Y/N pulls it to her chests as more tears fall out of her eyes. Her heart feels like it cracked in half from the heartbreak.

“Why?” She whispers to no one. She starts to get angry. She did everything to help Fred, she comforted him when he had nightmares, suggested a therapist to help him and even offered to pay for it. Y/N did everything to help Fred but apparently Fred didn’t care anymore.

She crawled into bed as she let a few tears fall until the exhaustion finally hit her like a freight train. She fell asleep hating the fact that Fred would never love her again.

Y/N woke up early the next morning so she could pack up Fred’s stuff so he wouldn’t be there for long. She didn’t want to look at him if she didn’t she would break down in front of him and Y/N didn’t want to do that.

She got some boxes and threw all of his stuff and put it on the kitchen counter waiting for Fred to show up. Y/N thought about what job she could get since Fred fires her.

A knock on the door startled her. She sighed paddling towards the door and opened it reluctantly.

“Your stuffs on the counter,” Y/N walks him to the kitchen where she stares at her feet not wanting to look at him.

Fred nods and notes that she’s not looking at him. “Just so you know I will never stop caring about you,” He walks himself over as he holds the boxes.

Y/N scoffs, “Whatever.”

Fred sighs, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze to reassure her. She closes her eyes until she hears the door close and when she opens her eyes again tears start pooling again.

Y/N never wants to see Fred Weasley ever again.

For the next few weeks Y/N stays in bed wallowing in her own misery. She cries herself to sleep every night wondering what went wrong.

The only reason she gets out of bed is to go to eat, shower, and read the paper to see if there’s any jobs out there. She watches rom coms where they get the guys in the end and wishes it was her.

One particular time she’s sitting at the counter eating someone bangs on her door.

“Y/N open up, it's been weeks,” George yells, continuing to pound on the door. He’s been here everyday since the break up wanting her to get out of bed.

Y/N sighs angrily walking up to the door opening it letting George in. He walks in and turns around to look at Y/N.

“You look like hell,” George comments, putting his hands into his suit pocket.

“Thank you, you always know how to make a girl blush,” Y/N sarcastically replies rolling her eyes. “What are you doing here,” She says more seriously.

“I’m just worried about it,” George says worriedly. “You’ve been in bed for weeks, it's not healthy,” George states.

“You don’t have to worry about me anymore,” Y/N coldly replies.

“I will always worry about you, you are one of my best friends and Fred is an asshole for cheating on you,” George sternly says.

“I can’t even look at you without crying,” Y/N says looking at her feet on the hardwood floor. George pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I’m not Fred,” George sighs.

“I know but you look exactly like him,” Y/N counters back.

“Well no Fred has that birthmark-,” Y/N interrupted him.

“Okay you can stop,” Y/N snaps holding her hand up.

“I’m just saying I’m not Fred and I want to be there for you,” George tried to reassure the girl.

“Why Fred’s your brother,” Y/N finally looks up at him with a confused look on his face. She doesn’t understand why he wants to be there for her.

“Yeah and he’s a prat for cheating on you and for firing you,” George scoffs. “But I still love him and that doesn’t stop me from not caring about you,” He explains.

“Fine if you want to see me be miserable,” Y/N accepts. George gives her a smile before walking in the flat further and following him.

For the next six months George kept coming to her flat everyday to see how she was doing. He stayed for dinner and if he couldn’t come he’d call her before.

George was being so nice to Y/N and she felt a crush forming on him. But she didn’t want that because Fred would probably accuse her of using George.

But she didn’t want George to think bad of her. Him thinking that she only likes him because he’s Fred’s twin is something she does not want.

Whenever she feels particularly down George drops everything to come and comfort her. No matter what.

Y/N doesn’t want to go to the shop because she’ll see Fred and she doesn’t want to run into him or Angelina. George understood knowing how bad it could hurt her.

They would sit on the couch watching shows and movies laughing and joking with each other. She felt so comfortable around him and she felt her heart race around him.

Y/N would never have thought she would have feelings for George Weasley since she was with Fred. But her feelings change when Fred doesn't want her anymore and now she sees George in a different night.

On one particular night she was cooking some lasagna and waiting for George to show up.

“I got breadsticks,” George yells as he walks in the door with a smile on his face.

“I knew you would,” Y/N giggles pointing her spatula at him. George sets the bag on the table and walks around the counter to go next to Y/N.

“You always make the best food,” George groans smelling the lasagna. “Fred moves in with Angelina today,” He blurts out.

Y/N nods biting her lip getting the food out of the stove and setting it on the table. George told her a few months ago that Fred might want to move in with Angelina.

“That’s great that means I can come over to your flat now,” Y/N teases, getting plates and setting the food out on it.

“I thought you’d be more upset about it,” George’s eyes furrow as he takes a bite of the food.

“I did too but I guess if he’s happy I’m happy,” Y/N sighs leaning against the counter poking at her. “You want some wine,” she asks, getting the glasses.

“Sure I love getting drunk,” George accepts with a smile. Y/N pours the wine and hands the glass to George and pours one for herself.

Only in a few hours George and Y/N are drunk. They’re making out on the couch and neither of them knew how this started. But at the moment they don’t care, they only care about getting their clothes.

Y/N rubs her eyes when she wakes up in the morning feeling the sunlight in her eyes. She feels someone pressed up against and she looks up to see George laying there sleeping.

“Oh my god,” Y/N whispers, getting up out of his arms to go and change into something more comfortable. She sits on her bed before walking out and shaking George awake.

“Give a guy a break Y/N,” George grumbles, rubbing his eyes as the sun peaks in through the blinds.

“We had sex last night,” Y/N snaps.

“Why are you so mad about it,” George asks sitting up.

“Because we’re friends,” Y/N states wondering what George is going to say about it.

“We’re more than friends and you know it,” George snaps at her getting his clothes and putting them on. “Are you telling me that you don’t have feelings for me,” He asks as he stands up.

“Maybe,” She whispers, crossing her arms over her chests. “But it’s be wrong you’re my ex boyfriend's twin. I don’t want you thinking I’m only doing this because you look like Fred,” She explains.

“Is that what this all about,” George asks, his eyes softening. He brings his hands to her cheeks and cups them.

“I like you for you, you know that,” She smiles at him, her arms wrapping around his neck.

“I know love.”

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter nine: “Fuck it, I love you”

Word count: 8,2K

Summary:  (Y/N) is struggling with her feelings for Spencer, and being just her friend might be harder than she thought. Spencer feels everybody but (Y/N) knows he is in love with her, and for a second, he is sure he will lose her.

Warnings: Cursing, angst frustration, mention of S03E09 (Penelope), usual Criminal Minds content.

A/N:  Hello my dearest friends! hope you are having a great week, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. All feedback is welcome!

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |

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(Y/N)'s point of view

Since Rossi joined the team, we were as busy as we had been in a long time. We didn't have much free time, and most of the cases took us out of Virginia. But, it was our job, and we all liked it, which is why none of us complained much. No one but JJ, who still tried to keep her relationship with Will a secret.

On the bright side, all that traveling and working with the team got us even closer. Having Rossi there gave us a boost to be better at what we did and be even better friends. We had to spend a lot of time together, and by the look in David's eyes, you could tell he was surprised by how good we all got along. At least most of the time.

We were in Florida trying to find an unsub who kidnapped and mutilated women when it happened. After knowing them for over two years, Garcia and Morgan had a fight. A real fight.

- "Hey, how is it going with Father Marks? Any of the volunteers jumped out at him?"- I asked Morgan when I found him at the station after a long day trying to find a lead that might take us to the unsub or the victims.

- "Not yet"- my cellphone rang that second, and Garcia's voice at the other side of the line gave me more info on the case.

- "I'm still running the particulars of our homicides though vicap. Nothing so far."- she announced.

- "Ok. I just sent you the volunteer search list"- I walked from Morgan and sipped my coffee, feeling there was something off.

- "Ok. And I'm cross-checking the names against mental institution records."

- "Pay attention to individuals who were involuntarily committed in Florida. Rossi is convinced our unsub is the type that likes to stick close to home."

- "Got it. Talk to you later."

- "Wait, PG. You usually call Morgan about these kinds of things. Is everything ok?"- I whispered though I knew Morgan was paying a lot of attention to what I was talking about on the phone with Garcia.

- "God, I hate profilers"- she groaned at the other side of the line.

- "Come on, tell me."

- "Fine. I met this guy in the coffee shop I go to every day. His computer crashed, and I helped him fix it. He flirted, I flirted, and he asked for my number, and somehow I gave it to him 'cos he was incredibly hot and nice, and did I mention he was smoking hot? I didn't think he was going to call, but he did, which was surprising 'cos these things do not happen to me, sweet cheeks, never! But it did! And when I told Derek, he just told me I have to blow him off 'cos it's too weird."

- "What!?"- Penelope spoke so fast she didn't even breathe.

- "Yes! Just because he wouldn't hit on me doesn't mean another hot guy wouldn't! And he made me feel like I don't deserve anyone's attention."

- "I'm gonna kill him,"- I whispered and turned around. Derek wide opened his eyes and shrugged, not getting what was going on.

- "Don't. I'll take care of him when you guys come home."

- "Well, take care in the mid-time, and I'm here if you need to talk."

I hung down and sighed. Morgan looked at me, knowing I knew what happened between the two of them.

- "So?"

- "You fucked it up,"- I whispered and smacked his shoulder.

- "Is she furious?"

- "She's hurt. That's actually worse."- Derek sighed and shook his head.

- "What do I do?"

- "You mean, other than to apologize?"- I walked with him to get Hotch and tell him what Garcia had just informed us- "Think big, 'cos you really fucked it up."

- "What does Reid do when he fucks things up with you?"- Morgan asked, and I could sense the innuendo hidden in his words.

- "He doesn't do a thing, 'cos he never fucks up"- I answered with a pleased smile and turned to Hotch. It was time to catch a killer, not time to argue with Derek.

I always thought Morgan and Garcia were the greatest friends I had ever met. I could envy their relationship, especially 'cos they could be so flirtatious and so adorable, and at the same time, you knew their friendship was sacred.

I envied that. I don't think Penelope felt for Derek the way I felt about Spencer. That's why I was sure I had fucked it up. I didn't have to catch those kinds of feelings for my best friend, and I felt I had to find a way to get rid of them. I had to stop having a crush on Reid.

Those weeks had been challenging and yet amazing. It was awful knowing I had a crush on my best friend, but I was really enjoying all the time we were spending together. We had been sharing rooms for the last two cases, and that meant endless sleepovers with Spencer. After a long day, we would meet in our room and just share candies, ice cream, pizza, movies, whatever we needed to decompress.

If things had been too hard, I would lay with him on his bed and just cuddle for a while before going back to my bed. More than once, I fell asleep with him, feeling his fingers playing with my hair as he read. I always apologized the following day, but Spencer kept saying he didn't bother, that he had slept well and that I could always count on him whenever I felt bad.

Knowing I had never done that with Mikey or Frank more than a handful of times in all the years we had met each other made me feel like the shit. Sure, I could sleep in the same bed with them, but not the way I did with Spencer. This felt intimate. Serious. Real. Waking up in Spencer's arms was the best way to start my day, and each time it happened, it made me feel worst and worst 'cos I didn't want to ruin the best friendship I ever had over a silly, stupid, meaningless crush.

Each time it happened, I promised myself it would be the last one. And each time I did, I ended up falling into his arms again. It never meant anything sexual. It was just sharing a bed, cuddling. Holding each other. It was all the intimacy I always refused to share with other people. And I guess that's what freaked me out the most: how vulnerable I was with Reid and how much I enjoyed it for the very first time. Ever.

- "Hey,"- I heard Spencer whisper when we landed. I was curled up on his chest on the couch on the plane, as usual after a long case. I scratched my eyes, probably messing with my makeup, and smiled at him.

- "Sorry... you must have been awfully uncomfortable."

- "Not really. Besides, you looked like you needed a good nap,"- I chuckled and shook my head, sitting down correctly.

- "Next time I drool on your jacket, please wake me up,"- I collected all my things and took a look around- "What time is it?"

- "Almost midnight,"- he announced and stared at me as he held his go bag and put on his jacket- "Do you want to grab something to eat before you go home?"- and I nodded, thinking that was exactly what I had in mind.

But life had other plans, and this time it had nothing to do with us. We were about to get out of my car to catch a late dinner when I got a call from Hotch telling me Penelope was in the local hospital. Spencer's cell phone rang at the same time, and JJ announced the same. We looked at each other for a moment, scared of the worst, and all we managed to do was to get buckled up and drive to the hospital. We both needed to know Penelope would be ok, but all we knew was that she had been shot, and the doctors were doing all they could to save her life.

As soon as we reached the waiting area, we met Aaron and JJ. They looked as worried as we were.

- "She's in surgery,"- JJ announced, and I hugged her immediately- "There's no word."

- "This is crazy,"- Spencer whispered as I felt JJ's arms tighten around me.

- "I can't believe it! I talked to her before we took off."- I murmured and closed my eyes.

- "What do we know?"- Rossi asked, walking over in a hurry with Prentiss.

- "Police think it's a botched robbery,"- Aaron explained.

- "Where's Morgan?"- Emily asked, looking around the hall.

- "He's not answering his cell,"- JJ replied, and Spencer took his phone right away.

- "I'll call him again."

I looked at him as he walked away and turned to my friends. Emily and JJ were doing their best to stay strong, but it was clear they were fighting the tears back, just as badly as I was doing.

Spencer walked back and shook his head. He couldn't reach Morgan. I walked to him and rested my head on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to him. It was unreal. I felt I was in a nightmare, and I couldn't wake up, no matter how much I tried.

- "They can't give me an update,"- JJ walked over to us after half an hour. She had been trying to get more info about Penelope's condition, but nothing.

- "Morgan's phone just keeps going straight to voicemail,"- Spencer added, and Prentiss's angry voice nearly made me jump.

- "Where the hell is he?!"

Nearly two hours later, Spencer finally contacted Derek, and in less than half an hour, he rushed into the hospital and found us still waiting for news about Penelope. He ran over, shocked and confused, and looked at us, waiting for an explanation.

- "She's been in surgery a couple of hours."- JJ whispered as soon as he stood by our side.

- "I was at church. My phone was off,"- he explained and mostly tried to excuse himself for not being there earlier.

- "There is nothing you could have been doing here,"- Reid whispered, trying to make him feel better. Spoiler: it didn't work. Morgan was getting more and more hyperventilated with every second he spent in that hospital.

- "The police got any leads?"

- "I spoke to the lead detective. He doesn't think we'll get anything from the scene."

Hotch spoke in the calmest voice he had. Morgan was about to say something but bit his tongue. Instead of yelling, he walked around the hall for a few minutes until a doctor approached us.

- "Penelope Garcia?"- and we all nearly yelled "Yes" as a desperate reply.

- "The bullet went into her chest and ricocheted into her abdomen. She lost a lot of blood. It was touch-and-go for a while, but we were able to repair the injuries."

- "So what are you saying?"- JJ questioned as we all held our breath.

- "One centimeter over, and it would have torn right through her heart. Instead, she could actually walk out of here in a couple of days. And I'd say that's a minor miracle."

The way we all sighed, relieved at those words, was priceless and unbeatable. The doctor smiled at us and added.

- "She needs her rest. You can see her in the morning."

- "Thank you,"- I smiled at him, and he was gone. I turned around and looked at Reid. He cut me a short smile as Hotch's voice caught our attention.

- "David and I will go to the scene. I think the rest of you should be here when she wakes up. I don't care about protocol. I don't care whether we're working this officially or not. We don't touch any new cases until we find out who did this."

We all nodded right away. No one had other plans. And after those words, Hotch and Rossi were out of the hospital, and we were left waiting for Penelope to come back from surgery.

- "How are you?"- Reid whispered and handed me a new cup of coffee.

- "Scared. You?"

- "Me too"

- "Who could ever want to hurt Penny? She is adorable,"- I murmured and shook my head.

- "We are gonna find whoever did this"- Spencer held my hand and cut me the warmest smile. I nodded and looked at Derek, who stood up from his chair for the hundredth time and walked to Penelope's room to see if she was ok.

- "In case we ever fight, I want you to know I will always forgive you,"- I murmured in Spencer's ear and rested my head on his shoulder.

- "Should I be worried?"- he asked me, and I just shook my head.

- "I just wanted you to know that you will always be my best friend, Spencer Walter Reid. No matter what happens between us."

And I meant every word back then. I had no idea what was coming ahead and how much things would change within a few months.

Spencer's point of view

The attack against Penelope hit us all hard. She had been shot by the same man who had invited her out for dinner. The one she and Derek had had a fight about.

Of course, Morgan was the one who was more affected by the whole situation. I tried to comfort him, and he nearly killed me. I knew Derek didn't mean to be mean. He was just losing it and feeling overwhelmingly guilty about everything going on. He was in hell, and you could tell. I didn't want to think what it would be like to be in his place. If anything ever happened to (Y/N) and I wasn't there to help her, I would go crazy. So I understood how Derek felt and did my best to be supportive.

Those days also made it pretty evident Rossi was still shocked we were such close friends and team members at the same time. I know he was friends with Gideon, but the fact our friendship surprised him so much made me wonder how close they really were.

It didn't get better when we were all asked to stop working on the case after Hotch found an encrypted file in Garcia's system, and she ended up suspended. That's who we found out how the FBI had recruited her.

Morgan and I were at the hospital with Penelope when Hotch gave her the news and heard the story of her hackers days. Something that I bet she didn't really want us to know about her.

- "After my parents died, I... kind of went off the rails for a while. I dropped out of Cal Tech. I lived underground, basically. But I kept teaching myself code. It was like the one thing that kept me together. In the way, the bureau decided to keep an eye on me, I guess... Did you know they keep track of hackers?"

Neither Morgan nor I opened our mouths. We couldn't, 'cos we were processing the whole information.

- "They do, of the ones who have the skill to be either extremely useful or a potential menace."

- "So they offered you a job?"- I asked her, and she simply nodded- "Like Frank Abagnale. The bureau figured if you can't beat 'em, hire 'em."

- "Yeah. Something like that."

- "Garcia, what's on the encrypted file?"- Derek crossed his arms on his chest and stared at her, waiting to hear nothing but the truth.

- "I'm required to keep a record of everything the team does. And after my system got hacked and Elle got shot, I just didn't want anyone else to be able to get at you."

- "We'll talk to the doctor, see if he'll clear you to leave,"- I whispered and left the room, just in time to get JJ's call to announce we were officially off the case. It wasn't good, and it wasn't getting any better at all.

In a way, the fact we were all such good friends wasn't as beneficial to the case as it could be. It all came clear later that night. Penelope was attacked again, this time in her own house. Unfortunately, a cop was killed in the process, and if it weren't for Morgan, who insisted on crashing her couch that night, Penelope would have been dead too.

We were all at her house at three in the morning. We wanted to take her to the BAU and keep her safe, though we all knew it would be hard to explain to the authorities, all things considered. We were all just talking about what had just happened when Garcia started remembering more details about her date with her attacker, and we decided to ask more questions about it in case she could give us more info that might lead us to him.

- "Tell us about the car,"- I told her and sat in front of her.

- "Why?"

- "Just go with him"- Morgan smiled at her and nodded, trying to reassure her everything was ok. It wasn't, not even close.

- "You said it was white, 4-door, American. What else?"- I asked Penelope, but she shook her head, confused.

- "That's it. It was just a car."

- "No, come on, think. Anything. Go back."- Morgan held her hand. We could tell she was trying her best to cooperate, and he was making his best effort to be sweet and calm, considering he was losing it to catch the asshole who hurt her.

- "The seat belt was buckled behind his back. Why does that matter?"- and that was progress.

- "It wasn't a rental. It was for surveillance,"- Derek explained to her.

- "Agents don't wear seat belts. They need to get out in a hurry"- (Y/N) added and was about to add something else when Rossi walked across the room and sat in front of Penelope.

- "All right, let's cut the crap. You need to be straight with us. Right now!"- she wide opened her eyes in shock and turned to Morgan- "Look at me, not them!"- Rossi commanded.

- "I'm not hiding anything,"- Garcia whispered, astonished.

- "You got shot. Most people get shot for a reason,"- she tried to look at Derek again- "Eyes here!"

- "Ease up, Rossi!"- Morgan shouted when David raised his voice, scaring everybody in that room.

- "You got a roomful of people here willing to believe that an FBI agent has tried to kill you. We need to know everything you do on company time that we don't know about!"

Rossi yelled on her face, pushing her to tell the truth, and Garcia nearly started crying.

- "What?"

- "Come on, man!"- I guess we were all waiting for Derek to lose it and punch him.

- "It's nothing bad!"- Penelope yelled, and every eye in the room turned to her.

- "Spit it out!"- David pushed her again.

- "It's... I counsel victims' families, and they know where I work, so sometimes they ask me to look into cases for them."

- "What does that mean?"- Rossi frowned and kept his eyes on hers.

- "It just means that the cases, the unsolved ones, I tag them, so whoever's investigating them knows that the FBI considers them a priority."

- "You're not authorized to do that"- Hotch's voice was as severe as kind, which surprised us all. Rossi the most, I guess, 'cos he stood up and turned around.

- "I know. I was just trying to help."- Garcia whispered, fighting the tears back.

- "But whoever's working those cases thinks you're watching them,"- (Y/N) said in a softer voice, probably to explain to Garcia how the whole situation had ended up with her being shot.

- "I just wanted to put pressure on them so that they don't slide,"- Penelope excused herself.

- "How many cases are we talking about?"- Hotch asked.

- "I don't know. 7, 8 maybe. I need to get into my system."

- "You can't. You're suspended,"- Hotch reminded her, though it sounded more like "you are grounded."

- "Wait a minute,"- Morgan interrupted the conversation- "Garcia, on your date, you said this guy was pressing you to find out if you were working murder cases. Hotch, we gotta look at those files."

Hotch looked at David, who was still as pissed as earlier. I don't think neither of us had ever seen him acting like it.

- "I told you, I'm sick of this jagoff being in front of us,"- Rossi said to him, and Aaron nodded.

- "Dave's right. We'll go back to the BAU. Morgan, Reid, (Y/N), Prentiss, you stay here and make sure no one forgets to log out of the system. Garcia should not have access."

We all stayed in her living room as Garcia walked to her room and hacked her own system. At the other side of the screen, Kevin Lynch, the analyst of another FBI department, was fighting back, trying to protect the files, and losing the fight after a few minutes.

Later on, (Y/N) explained to me that was how they met and finally how they fell in love. I guess everything happens for a reason, after all.

We didn't catch the bad guy that day. Instead, JJ was forced to kill him. It was the very first time she shot anyone, and surprisingly, she wasn't as shook up as we all imagined she might be.

- "You do whatever it takes to protect your family,"- she said when Penelope asked her if she was ok.

And she was right. That's how we all felt for each other at that point. And somehow, we all knew we were going to prove it, sooner or later.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I had been part of the BAU for almost three years already when it happened. And I felt so stupid 'cos we had all had a rough couple of weeks, and the last thing anyone needed was another worry. We had just gotten over the whole Penelope issue; having another member of the team injured was the worst thing that could happen.

But it did.

I got shot.

We were after our unsub. George Flemming. The bastard had killed four women in less than a month, convinced God had sent him to Earth to get rid of sin. We had been after him for two whole weeks until we finally got him. But I was stupid and reckless and didn't wait for backups. I wanted to catch that mother fucker, 'cos the way he had killed those women made me madder than I had ever been with an unsub before. That's too dangerous. You can't lose yourself in a case, 'cos you lose your objectivity. You risk your life every day in this job, but that specific day, I put mine on a silver platter.

We were supposed to wait for backup. I was just checking the perimeter, searching for the unsub. Spencer was with me, but he stayed behind for a second, trying to contact Garcia to run the plate number of a car we found hidden in a barn. I should have waited for him, but I couldn't stay still and do nothing when I heard a woman screaming for help. I had to run and try to save her. I wasn't going to let George kill yet another innocent woman and get away with it. He had to pay.

- "FBI! Freeze!"- I shouted as I walked into the last room of the house and found George holding close and pointing a gun at a woman who was covered in blood and bruises but still very much alive. Which, I must say, was a relief.

- "Stay away!! I'll shoot her!! I swear I'm gonna shoot her!!"

The unsub was sweating cold; he looked sick and weak. He looked like I could definitely take him down in a fight.

- "George! Put down the gun!"- I commanded and didn't move my eyes from him.

- "You put your gun down!"

- "I am sorry, George, but I can't do that!"- I answered- "Now let her go and put the gun down before anyone else gets hurt."

- "I don't have to listen to a whore like you! Who do you think you are? Giving me commands? You are evil!! Evil!"- he shouted, clearly losing control.

- "(Y/N), where the hell are you?!"- I heard Reid asking in the earpiece, and I just shook my head.

- "That's all you've got, George? Hiding women in the back of your house and threatening them with your gun? That makes your God proud?"

- "Shut up!! You bring disgrace to Earth! You should be punished too!!"- I took a step closer slowly and shook my head.

- "You are going to be punished, George. For killing innocent women."

- "Innocent? What makes you think they didn't deserve it?"

- "What makes you think you are the one to judge them?"

I kept my gun pointed at him, but I couldn't take a shot 'cos he grabbed the victim and kept her close to him, like a shield.

- "There's a special place in hell for whores like you!"- he announced, and suddenly, all I could feel was pain. There was a second gunshot, and George was down. I took a look around and saw Morgan still pointing his gun at him from outside the room, as Spencer and Prentiss ran inside, and he moved to me and held me close.

- "Medic!! We need a medic!!"- Reid yelled frantically through the speaker- "(Y/N)! How do you feel?"

- "I'm ok, honey bunny,"- I whispered in the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in my entire life- He just shot my shoulder, nothing important.

But the way Spencer looked at me, I swear that no one has ever looked at me the same until this day.

- "Don't move!"- he commanded, though his voice was soft and gentle. Prentiss took care of checking George's body. He was clearly dead. She liberated his last hostage and helped her to the ambulance while Reid stayed by my side until a doctor appeared.

- "Why didn't you wait for me?"- Spencer asked as they took me to the ambulance.

- "She needed help"- that was all I could say.

- "Please, try not to talk,"- the paramedic commanded and got me into the ambulance, followed closely by Reid.

- "I'm coming with her."

My best friend wasn't asking for permission. He was informing the medical team he wasn't going anywhere else. And by the tone of his voice, it was clear no one was ever going to change his mind.

- "That was so stupid, chipmunk,"- Spencer whispered and held my hand in our way to the nearest hospital. The paramedics kept pressing my shoulder to stop the bleeding, and I just closed my eyes 'cos honestly, it hurt too much to process what was going on.

- "I am so sorry I wasn't there with you, chipmunk."

- "It's ok, honey,"- I mumbled- "You are right. I was stupid. This is my fault."

- "Please, don't talk,"- the paramedic commanded again, and I just shut up 'cos the pain was too much.

Spencer stayed by my side the whole time. After we reached the hospital, the paramedics took me to the ER, where a doctor cleaned my wound and took out the bullet from my shoulder.

It was a clean wound, and luckily, no arteries were hit. I just got some stitches and a sling, plus a few painkillers I really didn't want to take, 'cos after Spencer's experience with drugs, I was scared of painkillers.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered to the nurse who helped me get dressed and walked out of the room to find Spencer filling up the medical forms and Morgan and Prentiss waiting for me

- "How are you feeling, princess?"- Derek asked and caressed my cheek.

- "Like a virgin"- I sang the Madonna song- "Shot for the very first time"- and though Emily chuckled, Spencer didn't think it was funny.

- "I can't believe you think this is something to joke about!"- Reid frowned, upset.

- "Calm down, honey. I'm ok, I'm alive. It was just a shot on the shoulder."

- "Just? Just a shot in the shoulder?"- and Spencer freaked out- "Did you know some of the larger vessels of the human body run through the shoulder? The subclavian artery and vein, which by the way, are the basic blood supply to the upper extremity."

- "I'm sorry, honey bunny. I shouldn't have said that."- I whispered and tried to calm him down, 'cos I knew precisely the kind of man Spencer could be when he was mad and stressed.

- "The brachial plexus is also located in the shoulder, and it's the primary nerve supply to the upper extremity as well,"- he added and didn't take his eyes from the form he was filling.

- "I understand,"- I added, but he didn't stop.

- "You should also know that the shoulder is a very complex spheroid joint, and if it's injured, it can lead to lifelong disability."

I stood in front of Spencer and placed my movable hand on his chest. That forced him to stop writing and look at me.

- "I'm sorry I got hurt. It was a mistake. I didn't mean to make you mad at me or worry. I am ok, I am here, and I promise I won't do something as stupid and reckless as this ever again. Ok?"

Spencer looked at me and sighed. Morgan and Prentiss were still there by our side, and I had the feeling that stopped my friend from saying what was in his mind. Instead, he nodded and cut me a short smile.

- "Good. Can we go home now?"- I asked, and Morgan grabbed my bag immediately.

- "The jet is waiting, pretty girl. Let's go."

The flight back home was too long. It was only a four hours flight from Fargo to Quantico. But it felt eternal. Besides, I kept doing my best to act cool and in zero pain, in a poor attempt not to worry Spencer. Little did I know, no matter what, he would be worried sick anyway.

- "I was on the phone with Frank,"- he announced and sat in front of me with a cup of hot chocolate.

- "Please don't tell me you called to tell him I got shot,"- Spencer stared at me and cut me a short smile. I closed my eyes and groaned- "Did he go nuts?"

- "No, I started by telling him you were alright."

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and sipped the cup he had prepared for me just the way I liked it, even with the little marshmallows.

- "Your mom went bonkers, though."

- "You called my mom?!"- I shouted, and everybody in the team turned around and looked at us- "Why did you do that?"- Spencer looked at me surprised and frowned.

- "You just got shot, chipmunk. Of course, I'm gonna tell your mom!"

- "But she is going to overreact!"

- "She won't! We already talked. She said she'd stop tomorrow by your apartment to have lunch."

- "Tomorrow, I'll be at work for lunch,"- I frowned, and I swear I wanted to cross my arms on my chest, but I couldn't, 'cos... I have been shot.

- "You won't be back to work until next week,"- Aaron announced from his seat, overhearing the conversation.

- "But Hotch! I'm ok!"

- "Spencer is correct. You just got shot. Take the rest of the week,"- I groaned and frowned at my boss.

- "I can still do my paperwork."- I can't believe I was begging not to get days off from work.

- "You do realize most people don't argue when their bosses give them a few days off, right princess?"- Derek took off his headphones and asked, frowning.

- "But I'm not injured,"- I argued, but I knew I was losing that fight.

- "Chipmunk, may I remind you, you just got shot!"- Spencer looked at me, annoyed.

- "But I'm fine! Look at me! I can dance!"- I was about to stand up and do a little dance, but Reid stopped me. He literally grabbed my good arm and kept me on my seat.

- "It's Wednesday. You just have to stay home Thursday and Friday. And I'll be there, making sure you won't do anything stupid."

I looked at Spencer and groaned one more time.

- "There's no way out of this, (Y/N). You are hurt, and I'm gonna take care of you."

- "Will you cook?"- I whispered and pouted, defeated. And Spencer chuckled, blushing.

- "I will definitely call and ask for your favorite food"- I tried not to smile and shook my head.

- "Oh no, no. If you wanna take the lead and take care of me, you will have to do the whole job and cook, Spencer Walter Reid."- I teased him, and his cheeks turned blood red in less than a minute.

- "Fine,"- he whispered, narrowing his eyes.

- "I can give you my carbonara a la Rossi recipe,"- David said to Spencer from his seat- "Guaranteed to heal all wounds, and special to cheer up your girlfriend, kid."

Everybody stayed quiet at the same time. I wide opened my eyes, shocked, and looked at Spencer, whose cheeks were burning red.

- "She... (Y/N) is not my girlfriend,"- Spencer mumbled and avoided looking at me for a few seconds. Rossi chuckled and turned to us.

- "You call each other cute nicknames, you are always together, you argue like I did with my first wife..."

- "No"- I shook my head and did my best to ignore Derek's teasing comments and Emily's laughter.

- "Well, you could have fooled me,"- David smiled at me, and I didn't know what to answer. I frowned and looked at Spencer, who somehow was even more blushed than he had been a moment earlier.

- "I'm driving you, by the way,"- he whispered, and I didn't really have the strength to argue against that, so I just nodded and sighed.

Spencer's point of view

I thought I was going to die when I saw (Y/N) lying on the floor, blood coming from her shoulder. Time passed in slow motion, like a movie cliché. I ran to her, and I didn't know if the perimeter had been secured. I had no idea if the unsub was dead. I would have killed him myself if I hadn't been focused on (Y/N).

Then she smiled and assured me she was ok. But that wasn't enough for me. Her face was so pale, though her smile was shining bright. So I held her and called a medic. She was in pain, and I didn't know what to do to help her.

I held her hand the whole ride to the hospital and stayed by her side in the ER while the doctor cleaned her wound and put some stitches on it. Then I walked with her to the jet, and the whole time I made my best and biggest effort to stay calm. But once we were on the air, on our way back home, I couldn't hold it back anymore. I could feel the tears fighting their way out, no matter how much I tried to keep them inside.

So I did what seemed more logical and locked myself in the backroom. I needed a minute to put myself together again before I had to continue pretending I didn't nearly lose the woman I love that day. So I washed my face and let the water run through my fingers for a few minutes, trying to calm myself down. But I failed, and the tears started falling down my cheeks anyway.

I rested my back against the door and slowly slipped down to the floor until I was sitting, hugging my legs, crying my heart out.

I knew why I was crying. It was a weird mix of fear and relief. I was scared to lose (Y/N), and at the same time, relieved nothing terrible had happened to her. I had to convince myself it was all ok, that she was there on the plane with me, hopefully trying to get some rest.

- "Spence?"- I heard JJ's voice at the other side of the door, and I quickly stood up and washed my face saying, "In a minute." I looked at my reflex. My eyes were puffed, my cheeks were red. There was no way I could ever convince anyone I hadn't been crying.

- "Can you open the door?"

- "There's another bathroom, JJ,"- I said and closed my eyes.

- "I need to talk to you."

- "I'm kind of busy here..."

- "Spence, please"- she begged, and I gave up, only because I knew she wasn't going to leave me alone. No one at the BAU seems to understand the concept of personal space.

I opened the door and let her in. The bathroom was too small for the two of us, and I didn't want to think of all the teasing I would get from Morgan if he saw us locked in there. JJ smiled and handed me a cup of coffee. I just sipped it carefully, 'cos it was very hot, and looked at my hands, avoiding eye contact.

- "Why were you crying?"- she whispered and stood against the wall in front of me.

- "I wasn't,"- I lied, but she just raised an eyebrow, and I knew it was useless to deny it- "It was a hard day, and I needed to decompress somehow."

- "Was it because of (Y/N)?"- she simply asked, and I just nodded- "It wasn't your fault, Spence."

- "I should have been there. But I stayed behind, on the phone with Garcia checking the plate of a car that didn't even matter at the end."

- "You were doing your job, and so was she."

- "But I should have done my job better, 'cos something bad might have happened to her, and I would have never forgiven myself,"- JJ nodded and reached out for one of my hands. I tried not to look at her but failed.

- "Are you going to tell her how you feel?"

- "Telling her I feel guilty she got injured won't stop her from being reckless,"- but JJ shook her head.

- "No, Spence. I'm talking about you telling her you are in love with her."

I widened my eyes and stayed still, shocked, blushed. JJ cut me a short smile and probably tried to soothe me, 'cos I immediately got all defensive.

- "What... what are you talking about? I am not in love with (Y/N),"- I whispered and prayed no one outside that bathroom had heard her.

- "Spencer, there is nothing wrong with being in love. I actually think you two would make a cute couple."

- "No, JJ, no. I am not in love with her."

- "Spence, I'm not a profiler, but you are not that hard to read. I can see the way you look at her."

- "She is my best friend."

- "But you love her,"- JJ sentenced, and I just sighed- "It's not wrong to have feelings for someone, Spence. I am sure she feels the same way too."

- "We are just friends. That's it. Thanks for the coffee,"- I added and opened the door.

I walked out of the bathroom in a rush. To avoid talking with anyone on the plane, I called Frank and told him what had happened. I also asked him for Mrs. (Y/L/N) phone number and explained the facts too. She was so scared it took me a while to calm her down.

- "I'm going to stay with her tonight,"- I said and looked at (Y/N) at the other side of the yet. She hadn't slept at all, and I knew she had to rest.

- "Thank you, Spencer. I'll be in Virginia tomorrow. I'm visiting Phoenix in New York this week."

- "Don't worry, Mrs. (Y/L/N), I'll take care of her."

- "You are the sweetest man she could have met,"- she whispered before hanging down, and I couldn't help but wonder if she knew it too.

Apparently, I wasn't hiding my feelings for (Y/N) very well. If JJ could see it, maybe anyone else could. And after what Rossi said, I didn't know if I was busted or not. I didn't know anything. (Y/N) seemed to be as shocked as I pretended to be, so I guess I felt safe. But I knew I had to watch my back now.

Of course, planning to stay with her that night didn't make it easier for me at all.

- "I'm ok, honey bunny,"- she argued and sat carefully on her couch- "You don't have to stay here with me."

- "I'm sorry, chipmunk, but you were shot. There is nothing on Earth that's gonna make me leave you alone right now."

- "Fine, then help me take a shower,"- she simply said, and I widened my eyes. I know I even held my breath at that. I stared at her from the kitchen door, on my way to make her a cup of tea.

- "Well, in that case, I, I will do... I will do whatever you need to help you,"- I whispered and made my best not to stutter. She shook her head and sighed.

- "I was bluffing, honey. But I mean it, you don't have to stay and take care of me. I'll be fine. Just go home and rest,"- but all I could do was walk to the kitchen and put on the kettle.

- "I'm not going anywhere, so... how do you feel about that carbonara a la Rossi recipe?"

- "Spencer Walter Reid, you don't cook."

- "I do cook! Do you think I've lived on take-outs and coffee all these years?"

- "Hell yeah!"- she said and chuckled. She was right, though. I wasn't the best or more experienced cooker on Earth. But for her, I could try.

- "I tell you what. What if you take a bath and relax, I'll cook you dinner, and then we'll watch a movie? Anything you pick."

- "Anything?"- she raised an eyebrow and stared at me so sweetly and concentrated, I nearly stopped breathing. I didn't trust myself with an answer, so I just nodded and looked at her. Her cheeks were blushing, and that made me feel better. Clearly, she was relaxing at home. The color was coming back to her after being hurt. That was always a good sign.

- "Even my favorite chick flick?"- (Y/N) bit her lips and caught my full attention with that simple movement. I nodded again, not really thinking what she meant with "chick flicks." All I could think of were her lips and how incredibly soft they looked.

- "Even Pride and Prejudice?"- she added, and I nodded again.

- "It's an essential piece of literature. Jane Austen was an incredible writer,"- my voice was muffled, and her eyes were shining- "Did you know In 1802, in her late 20s, Austen briefly accepted a proposal from Harris Bigg-Wither, the younger brother of two of her close friends? She rescinded it the following day."

- "Yes, neither her nor her sister ever married"- (Y/N) added, and her eyes moved from mine, traveling around the room- "She believed that a woman shouldn't get married if she wasn't in love. She once advised her niece Fanny Knight that "anything is to be preferred or endured rather than marrying without affection."

Somehow, (Y/N)'s eyes were blurry with sadness all of a sudden. Her words stopped. I was tempted to hold her hands that rested on her lap but stopped myself. I was scared to give too much away, and that she suspected how I felt about her. I didn't want her thinking I was in love with her. Don't get me wrong, I was. I am. And I know I will always love her. But that night on that couch, I was afraid of her rejection and scared she might have stopped being my friend if she ever knew how I really felt about her.

- "Maybe you are right, honey,"- (Y/N) whispered and slowly stood up- "I'll take that bath after all."

- "Watch those stitches"- I quickly stood up too and just nodded, looking at her as she started walking towards her room- "I'll cook dinner meanwhile."

- "Thank you, honey bunny,"- she said and turned around just to cut me a small smile before disappearing into her bedroom.

I made my best effort with dinner. I followed Rossi's instructions to the letter. (Y/N) had a lot of food in her fridge. Unlike me, she actually cooked her own meals. She was right about me and the take-outs. I had never been a great cook, and I trusted my local Thai place with most of my dinners. But that night was different.

Pasta carbonara was pretty good, I must say. (Y/N) opened a bottle of wine, though I told her it was a horrible idea mixing drinking with the pain killers she was prescribed.

- "I am actually not taking them,"- she whispered and took a sip of red.

- "You had a major injure on that shoulder (Y/N)."

- "It's just five stitches, honey. I don't need those pills. I actually didn't even get them,"- she replied. I looked at her in awe, thinking she was way stronger than she even gave herself credit for.

- "In that case, you can have two glasses of wine and extra dessert,"- I stated, and she chuckled.

We ate in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. I guess the two of us were pretty tired that night. It had been a long day, a long case, and though neither of us wanted to deal with it, we knew things could have easily gone wrong.

After eating, I cleaned the dishes and prepared a tray with a cup of herbal tea for (Y/N), a coffee for me, and two bowls of ice cream, and we cuddled on the couch to watch Pride and Prejudice. She whispered most of the lines and argued against Darcy for half of the movie. But by the end, she snuggled closer to me, and I wrapped an arm around her carefully, trying not to get near her shoulder at all. Her head was resting on my chest, and I could feel her sighing with each word that Darcy spoke.

- "What is it with you and this book?"- I asked her suddenly. She huffed and looked at me with a cut, short smile.

- "I don't know, but I've been obsessing with Darcy and Lizy ever since I first read the story. I guess the classic "fools in love" story is my weakness. How couldn't they see how much they loved each other from day one?"

My mouth fell open, but I didn't say a word. She just smiled and turned to the screen again. That was good. I didn't want her to see how flustered I was.

- "Darcy knew he loved her, but he tried to fall out of love with her, and she was completely blinded by her so-called "hate" towards him to deal with her real feelings."- (Y/N) added- "I know that's not a complex and complete study of the story but in a short version of the whole plot... I guess that's what's so endearing and addictive about it. Everyone has been Darcy or Lizzy."

- "I doubt most people can relate with having four sisters and an obsessive nervous mother who keeps forcing you to get married,"- I joked, and (Y/N) giggled.

- "You'd be surprised, honey,"- she sighed and snuggled closer. My hand played with her hair for a few more minutes until the end of the movie.

- "(Y/N)?"- I whispered when we were already in bed. I wore the pajamas I kept in my go bag and crawled into bed with her as soon as she asked me to sleep with her. Ee had done it before, it wasn't weird, and we were best friends.

There was absolutely nothing friendly with how I felt, though. But I had to put all those feelings in a box and hide them deep inside of me 'cos they were no good for our relationship.

- "What happens, Spencer?"

- "I just wanted to tell you... you scared me today,"- she sighed. We were already hugged, but she snuggled closer and kissed my cheek softly.

- "I'm sorry, Spencer. I'll be more careful, I promise."

It was such a simple promise, and I knew though she meant well, the job was always going to get in the way. Our lives were always on the line working at the BAU. And no matter how much we wanted to take care of ourselves, sometimes things were out of our control.

- "Promise me you'll be careful too,"- she whispered, and I leaned over to kiss the top of her head gently.

- "I promise I'll be careful, chipmunk."

- "Will you always come home to me?"- she whispered and sighed, dozing off.

- "Always. I love you so much, (Y/N)"- that last confession fell from my lips before I could even realize what I was saying.

- "I love you too, honey,"- she answered, her voice muffled against my chest.

I stayed still, trying to burn in my memory every second of that moment, 'cos I knew it was going to be one of my most precious memories until my last day.

–

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Next update: June 9th, 2021

[fridayfirefly]

A Friend at Midnight

Read A Friend at Midnight on AO3

Masterlist

Written for Maribat March Day 13 - Reverse Robins

Dick hated Gotham Academy. He hated the pretentious, overqualified teachers. He hated the stuck-up, shallow students. He hated their expensive cars and their designer clothes and their smug faces. He hated the way they sucked up to him to his face but called him a circus freak behind his back. Especially, Dick hated their parties, where they drank and smoked and got high on party drugs.

However, a new drug was emerging in the back alleys of Gotham and Batman needed to know how far it had reached. So, as the only member of the family still in high school, it was Dick's job to infiltrate the party and investigate exactly what type of drugs his classmates were using. Dick wasn't happy about it but he didn't have much of a choice. Robin was Batman's sidekick, which meant that he didn't get to pick and choose his missions.

After an hour at Tony McLaughlin's house party Dick could safely say that the worst drug at the party was some ecstasy that Tony's older brother supplied. All Dick wanted to do was wash his hands and get away from the party, hopefully with enough time that he could still patrol with Tim. Dick rarely got to patrol with his older brother, who was so busy with his classes at Gotham University that he only ever came home during breaks.

Dick's plans for the night were derailed when he walked into the bathroom to see a girl lying in the bathtub, headphones in her eyes. Her eyes were closed, mascara messy from the tears. Dick recognized her as one of Lila's friends. She was a quiet girl, which was odd because most of Lila's friends were just as obnoxiously talkative as Lila.

"Are you alright?" asked Dick.

The girl blinked open her eyes. "I'm fine. I just wanted to get away from Lila."

At that moment, Lila Rossi poked her head through the bathroom door. "Dick, how nice to see you here." Lila said his name like it was honey on her tongue, lips curling into a smile as she spoke. Her eyes, however, betrayed her intentions. Dick was good at reading people. Good enough to know that Lila Rossi was bad news. "I didn't think you came to parties like this, not that I'm complaining. I see you've met the foreign exchange student that my family is hosting, Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

It said a lot about Lila, thought Dick, that she said Marinette's relation to her before she said Marinette's name.

Dick shrugged, putting on his best nonchalant expression. "I just came to check it out. I was about to leave, anyway.

"You should stay. I'm sure you want to get to know Marinette. Isn't she just the cutest? We're best friends, Marinette and I." Lila got a little closer to Dick with every sentence until she was nearly pressed against his chest.

"Actually, I'm going home." Marinette pulled herself up out of the bathroom. Dick noted a few more details about her that he had missed in his first evaluation. There was alcohol on her breath as well as a plastic cup half-full of beer beside the bathtub. There was a bruise on the left side of her face, expertly hidden under her thick coat of makeup but easily detected by Dick, who was trained to recognize signs of abuse. There were also bruises on her knees, slightly obscured beneath her opaque tights, and scrapes on the palms of her hands. The evidence was overwhelming that there was something wrong with Marinette.

Lila rolled her eyes. "We're not leaving until the party's over."

"I'll take an uber."

"You didn't bring your wallet. How are you going to pay for that uber?" asked Lila, her tone starting to harden.

"I can drive Marinette home," said Dick. His offer was half a kindness towards Marinette, who looked like hell even though she was one of the most sober people at the party, and half because it gave him an excuse to leave without blowing his cover as just another partygoer.

"I don't think that's appropriate," said Lila. She looked scandalized at the suggestion that Dick and Marinette would go home together, which was an odd choice, considering she had propositioned Dick many times in his years at Gotham Academy.

"I don't care" Marinette walked out of the bathroom without another word, leaving Dick to trail after her as she made her way to the door, only detouring to grab a coat off of the back of one of the couches in the living room. She walked through the house like she owned the place, shooting glares at anyone who dared to get in her way. Dick didn't know how he had never noticed Marinette before - or, more accurately, he didn't know how he never saw through the mask of an empty-headed party girl that she put on when she was around Lila.

As soon as they left the house, Marinette started shivery, the cold December wind whipping her hair around her head. Dick showed her to his car and she climbed into the passenger seat, warming her hands against the heating vent as soon as he turned the car on.

"Where do you live?" asked Dick once they pulled out of the driveway.

"Lila's house is over on Washington Street," spoke Marinette, shifting in her seat so that she was hugging her knees.

Dick drove in silence, pretending out of politeness that he couldn't see the tears that started to slip down Marinette's face. However, when Marinette broke down in sobs it was much more difficult to not notice. "Could you pull over?" asked Marinette, sniffling as she spoke.

"Sure." Dick pulled his car into a gas station parking lot. After a few minutes, Marinette calmed down, her tears drying up.

"I'm sorry. I've just been having a hard time. Gotham is a big change from Paris," apologized Marinette.

"Lila said you were a foreign exchange student," noted Dick.

Marinette stared out the window and watched the cars driving by. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"And now?"

Marinette turned to look at him, an unnerving sadness in her blue eyes. "Have you ever noticed how terrible Gotham is? There's so much pain out there and I can't escape it. It sucks you in and makes you feel like you deserve it."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I guess I should explain how I got here. When I decided that I wanted to participate in the foreign exchange program, I was given a choice between a couple of different host families. Lila called me up on the phone every night for a week before I made my choice assuring me that we would be best friends. All I wanted was a best friend, so I chose her, only to find out that every word she said to me was a lie. At first, Lila just wanted someone to torment, to make herself look and feel better. But when she couldn't wear me down fast enough, she changed tactics. She started taking me to parties and forcing me to get drunk and parading me around in front of her rich friends."

"Can you change host families?"

Marinette shook her head. "All of the other host families for Gotham Academy were given students of their own. Unless another family enrolls half-way through the semester, I'm stuck with Lila. I only left her at the party to get a moment away from her constant attention. I just needed a break."

With this new information, Dick could begin to see how Lila had worn away at Marinette. The girl looked exhausted, with dark circles under her eyes that were only half-hidden by her makeup.

"If you want to get away from Lila for the night, I could take you to my house. We have plenty of spare bedrooms."

The relief in Marinette's eyes was enough to break Dick's heart. It was obvious that Lila's abuse had taken its toll on the girl. "Thank you."

Dick turned the car around and started driving back to the Manor.

"Can I ask you a question?" Marinette piped up.

"Sure."

"Why did Lila call you a dick? She's usually much better behaved around attractive boys."

Dick let out a laugh. "My name is Dick."

Marinette tilted her head in confusion. "I thought that your name was Grayson?"

"Richard Grayson, but I go by Dick. But I think the more important thing to pay attention to is the fact that you called me attractive."

Marinette blushed. "I'm not going to flatter you by debating an objective fact."

"So you think my attractiveness is an objective fact?" teased Dick.

Marinette groaned. "I just can't win with you, can I?"

"Not if I can help it." Dick pulled the car up the driveway and into the garage. "Let's get you inside. You look cold."

Marinette glanced down at her outfit, the dress that was four inches shorter than the Gotham Academy regulation skirts and the white tights that were so thin they couldn't hide the bruises that marred her knees. "I wanted to wear pants, but Lila threatened to throw out all of my jeans if I didn't put a dress on."

Dick frowned, already making plans to have Bruce open up one of the spare bedrooms for Marinette permanently. There was no way he was sending Marinette back into the lion's den that was the Rossi household. "We've got company!" yelled Dick as he and Marinette came in through the side door. It was best to warn his family when there was company over so that they could at least pretend to be a normal family that didn't spend their nights fighting crime.

Dick led Marinette through the kitchen and into the foyer, just as Tim was coming down the stairs two at a time. "Who's our company?" he asked, giving Marinette an interested look.

"I offered Marinette her one of the spare rooms to spend the night," explained Dick.

"I'm Marinette." Marinette gave Tim a wave. Dick was struck by how different this Marinette looked from the girl who stormed through the McLaughlin's living room like everyone there was beneath her. In the empty foyer of Wayne Manor, with a hesitant smile on her face, Marinette looked vulnerable. Dick could tell that this was the real Marinette, not the mask she wore in front of Lila.

"It's nice to meet you, Marinette. I'm Tim." Tim turned his attention back to Dick, narrowing his eyes. "I"m going to tell Bruce about our guest while you show Marinette to her rooms."

Dick nodded. "Sure, I'll meet you at Bruce's office."

"I hope I'm not causing any trouble," said Marinette once they were alone and making their way to the guest wing.

Dick shook his house. "My brothers have friends over all the time. You're much better behaved than anyone Jason has brought home."

"I'll be on my best behavior," promised Marinette, giving Dick a tentative smile as she brushed one hand against Dick's forearm and the other against the doorknob of the door that would be hers for the night. "Thanks for taking me home."

"No problem," said Dick. As soon as he heard the latch of Marinette's door click he was walking to Bruce's office. Dick was certain that Bruce would have no qualms opening up his house to Marinette once Dick explained her situation. Bruce had a soft spot for kids with dark hair and blue eyes who came from troubled home situations.

All three of his brothers were in Bruce's office by the time Dick entered the room.

"Welcome back, Grayson," Damian spoke first. The neutral look on his brother's face was Dick's first indication that something might have gotten lost in translation when Tim saw him bringing Marinette into the Manor. Looking back, he probably should have warned them ahead of time. Sneaking (though sneaking wasn't necessarily the right word for it since he announced their presence as soon as they got through the door) a drunk girl through the side door might not have been the best idea.

"I heard you brought a friend home with you," said Bruce, his tone aggressively non-judgmental.

Jason wasn't so considerate - his voice was hot with disapproval. "I thought your mission was reconnaissance only. I don't think that bringing home some sleazy drunk girl was a part of that mission."

Dick glowered at Jason, who had been in a bad mood since Bruce discovered and disposed of his stash of cigarettes earlier that week. “Don’t talk about Marinette like that. She didn't have anywhere safe to go, so I brought her here until she finds a place to stay."

"Why don't you take a seat and explain what happened tonight, before we jump to any conclusion." Bruce directed the last part of his statement towards Jason, who pointedly refused to look guilty.

"Marinette is an exchange student from Paris. Her host family has been allowing their daughter to take advantage of her. Lila Rossi has been taking Marinette to parties and plying her with alcohol as some sort of party trick for her friends, knowing that Marinette can't escape the situation without losing her spot in the exchange program. I couldn't, in good conscience, allow Marinette to return home to them, so when she expressed a desire to stay the night somewhere else, I offered up one of the guest bedrooms."

Jason had the decency to look guilty. "I guess I should apologize for jumping to conclusions. Sorry, Dickie Bird. I should've known you wouldn't try anything."

"Is there any way for her to switch host families?" asked Tim, the problem-solver of his brothers.

Dick nodded. "The only issue with her switching host families is that there are none available right now for her to stay with. I'm sure that won't be an issue much longer."

Bruce had his laptop out and was composing an email before Dick finished his sentence. "I'll arrange for our family to be registered as a host family for the Gotham Academy Foreign Exchange Program. Hopefully, we can get this all sorted out soon so that Marinette can move in over the weekend."

Dick grinned. His family might drive him crazy sometimes, but they always pulled through for him in the end. Marinette wouldn't have to worry anymore. His family would keep her safe.

@maribatmarch-2k21

[serendipityjxmn]

Mr. President

Chapter 6

TW: None

Words Count: 2.1k

Link to Masterlist

Link to Chapter 7

You shower quickly that morning, springing a little in your steps as you make your way to your closet, picking an attire for that day. Today, you have an interview for one of the many secretarial positions that you apply for yesterday. You choose a beige pencil skirt and a white blouse. Your wounds are still visible but nothing that can’t be covered with makeup. You do it minimally, just so you don’t look sick or too pale.

You stare at the large signboard saying ‘Bangtan Inc’. Taking a deep breath, you enter the building. Within half an hour, you’re escorted to the fifth floor of the company and you’re waiting in line to be interviewed by the Human Resources manager after filling up several documents. There are quite a number of interviewees and you’re slotted as the last one.

An hour later, you’re done with your interview with the manager and then you’re asked to wait again at waiting area. The manager who introduces herself as Irene approaches you after a while.

“Miss Y/N, you’re going to have the second interview with Mr. President. Are you ready?”

Nervousness begins to fill you up. You didn’t know that there would be two sessions for the interview. Nevertheless, you nod and follow after her. She leads you to the seventh floor and the hallways look even more lavish at this floor.

“You can come in now. Mr. President’s ready.” She leads you in and you enter together with her. “Mr. Park, Miss Y/N is here.”

Mr. Park…? It can’t be the Mr. Park that I know.. right?

When the man sitting on his desk at far end of the room looks up, things can’t be more fucked up than this.

It was him. His. His fucking company.

He raises from his seat and freezes when he sees you too. His eyes rake you from top to bottom and this has to make the list of top embarrassing moments in your life. Should you run away now?

“Miss Y/N, please have a seat.” Irene interrupts. It’s too late to run away now, right..?

Your eyes widen as you stare at Jimin. He seems to regain his composure and leisurely takes his seat again, crossing his legs and starts playing with his fingers in what could be such intimidating gesture.

You swallow and slowly takes your seat and fixes your skirt to prevent it from riding up, missing the way his eyes travel down your legs for a split second. You watch as Irene hands him documents that you assume contains your information.

Oh no. You haven’t been entirely truthful with your information…

“So Miss Y/N, you’re single?” He asks casually, no doubt having read the part in your file. You pray that the ground swallows you whole.

You fidget with your hands, swallowing hard. You’ve grown used to playing with your wedding ring on your finger but you purposely take it off today since you’ve so conveniently mention your status is single. He looks down at your hand and you miss the way his expression becomes stern when he sees your empty finger.

“Y-yes.”

For a moment, he just looks at you and you think you’ll melt under his stare. Jimin always stares at you like he’s able to see you through and every time, you’d ask God to grant you a mind reading ability just so you can know what he’s thinking about.

You know everything’s already gone into a mess today. This interview session is basically moot now that the person interviewing is actually your own freaking husband. You’re ready to turn on your heels at any second. You’re literally just waiting for him to utter words like ‘get out’ or ‘get lost’.

Yet he excuses you and you stand waiting outside as he speaks to Irene. She emerges not long after that, a smile plastered on her beautiful face.

“Miss Y/N! I’m pleased to inform that you’ve been hired!”

What on actual earth.

“You must’ve caught Mr. Park’s interest. We usually filter most of the applicants again and this would normally takes about another week before we can give results but Mr. Park seems satisfied with you.”

You did not expect this turn of events at all.

“So, even though the position is secretarial position, the job scope is actually kind of wide. You will mostly be attending to Mr. President’s needs but you will also be helping several bits here and there with the office people there. I’ll introduce you to the office mates in a while.”

So you spend the rest of the day being led by Irene everywhere as she tells you most of the things you need to know and introduces you to other personnels in the office. Your brain can’t really focus on Irene’s words as you assume you’re doomed once you’re home with Jimin.

Should you quit that instant? Don’t come for work tomorrow?

But that would be the most unprofessional thing to do. You groan.

“Oh, Miss Y/N. It’s almost five now. You don’t really have much to do anyway for today so you can just head home today.” Irene tells you.

You automatically looks up at the double door that leads to Jimin’s office. Should you be going home with him..?

You shake your head immediately. It’s best if this is kept a secret from everyone for now. You don’t feel like he’s going to head home yet since Jimin usually comes home at about 7PM so you rush to pack your things and quickly heads home.

You pace back and forth in the kitchen. Your head had been playing a thousand different scenarios with how Jimin would react once he’s home and you can’t help feeling more anxious by the second. You hear the door opens then and your pulse quickens. You don’t dare to meet him at the door so you just remain in the kitchen.

You’re so immersed in your thoughts that you don’t hear him come down a while later.

“What the fuck do you think you’re playing at?” He growls and you jump. You turn to see him looking extremely pissed off.

“Jimin- I’m sorry- I wanted to tell you last night but I- I forgot.” You say as he takes his seat on the dining table and you rush to tend at him. He doesn’t seem impressed at all.

“My company? Are you fucking kidding me?” He hisses and you recoils slightly.

“I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t know it’s your company. The last time I saw you was at Parks Corporations and- why were you-“ You stop mid sentence. All of a sudden it makes sense. You remember Mrs. Lee telling you that Jimin will be inheriting his father’s company and it must’ve been Parks Corporation while Bangtan Inc is the tech company that he builds together with his friends. Suddenly, you feel stupid for not making your research. On top of it all, it’s about your husband. You, above all, should know about it. “I- I just feel guilty staying home and- I just thought I should help with the finances as well.. after all you’re not really my husband.. you’re a stranger.. it’s not right to just leech off you and do nothing-”

“So your ego is wounded?” He scoffs.

You sigh. You don’t want to argue with him. You don’t like arguing with him or making him angry. “You could’ve not accepted me..” You mumble.

“The fuck did you say?” He snaps and you immediately straightens.

“C-can we remain discreet though? I don’t want to tell anyone. We-we can take separate rides to the office.”

“Whatever you say.”

The next morning you wake up earlier than Jimin. It feels weird to actually see him lying on the bed, the same freaking bed with you. Though the bed is large enough for the both of you to come nowhere near each other, it still feels strange. You get ready quickly then heads downstairs to prepare breakfast for your husband.

Waiting on the toast, your fingers play with your necklace. Yesterday, you went to some cheap jewellery store and buys an empty silver necklace. Then, you put your wedding ring as the pendant and happily wears it. You can’t put it on your finger while at work so you resolve to use it as your necklace.

You don’t wait for Jimin to come down for breakfast and you feel sorry for that but you don’t really want to arrive at work at the same time Jimin does.

At work, contrary to your assumption, your work doesn’t really involve you to speak directly with Jimin as you mostly arrange his schedules and keys in things in the computer, deals with people asking for appointments and most of your time is taken by helping colleagues at the office as well with minor tasks like photocopying or sending fax. Any direct information that needs to be conveyed to Jimin is mostly done by Irene. Perhaps, she thinks you are not up to the task yet. You’re secretly relieved though.

Days passes quite quickly and before you know it, about a week has passed since you’ve started working at Bangtan Inc. Now that you think about it, working here doesn’t seem so bad. You don’t see much of Jimin these days, only on certain days when he comes home early and has his dinner at home.

You somehow make a promise to yourself to make the best of this marriage so you take special care of Jimin’s meals and what he wears to work everyday. To be honest, you don’t have to. Mrs. Lee can make anything and everything if you ask her but you refuse to. Making meals is probably the only thing you can do for your very self sustained husband even if he’s just a temporary husband, you did promise yourself to do it so you did.

You wake up early to prepare breakfast, goes to work and rushes home to prepare dinner almost every day. Most of the time though, you’re already asleep by the time he comes home so you’ve grown used to leaving sticky notes on the dining table, telling him to reheat the dishes you cooked if he wants to eat.

You don’t really expect him to eat the dishes you made but much to your surprise, he still eats them everyday without fail though sometimes he may not finish them but the thought still makes you smile.

It somehow exhausts you more nowadays with your packed schedule so you almost always fall asleep as soon as you lay on the bed at night.

You also slowly grasp your job scope at work. You learn a lot of things about Jimin as well. His schedule is always packed with meetings and when he isn’t in them, he’s busy discussing with the staffs to prepare for the next meeting. You somehow feel sorry for him. That’s also one of the reason why you couldn’t miss preparing his meal everyday although you’re tired. You learn that he tends to forget to eat whenever he’s too caught up in work.

That night, Jimin comes home early. You jump when he enters the kitchen while you’re still preparing his meal. He’s freshly showered and he smells so tantalising. He always smells good, you think.

“I’m sorry. I came home late. It’ll be ready soon if you can just wait for another.. 5 minutes?”

He walks to the fridge then takes a glass of orange juice. “If you don’t have time, we can just order take out next time. You don’t have to cook everyday.”

But you want to, your mind says. But you don’t say it out loud.

He takes his seat on the dining table and you feel his heavy gaze from behind you, making the hairs on your skin stand. You wish he’d look at something else instead.

You hover around once you set the table for Jimin which you notice is an occupational hazard of yours just in case the other party still needs you to amend anything so you would usually wait until that said party is satisfied.

Jimin wastes no time snapping at you. “Won’t you sit down and eat?!”

Flustered, you quickly take your seat, shaking your head for making him angry again. You eat in silence then.

“How’s work?” He asks after a while, taking you off guard.

You blink rapidly and stares at him for a few moments before answering, “It’s fine.” You hesitate to continue yet you can’t resist it. “I can’t really say no when the boss is right in front of me, right?”

Upon hearing that, he smiles.

He freaking smiles.

It’s so blinding it literally renders you speechless. He has this adorable eye smile and it makes him look like a total softie, none at all the one that is always intimidating and scowling at you.

And maybe, just maybe, something flutters in your stomach at that time. But you’re too blinded to notice.

Link to Chapter 7

Posted on 210409 9:00PM

[cryingoverafictionalcharacter]

Prompt: You have always had a problem with self image. To you, there would always be someone prettier, someone funnier, someone more worthy of love, but to Fred, you are the most amazing person in the world, and he’s determined to make you see that.

A/N: I’M GOING THROUGH IT CAN YOU TELL??? Anyway, I really just wanted to feel loved, so I wrote Fred being amazing and stuff, so yeah! Also, Yule ball bc I fucking love writing it, its so cute and fun.

Warnings: Kind of angsty but ends fluffy, Swearing, so many commas, Fred being *soft*. SELF DEPRICATION!!! I truly believe everyone reading this is absolutely beautiful and kind and amazing in their own unique way, this is just how I be feeling sometimes.

You walked down the hallway, holding your books close to your chest and trying not to bump into anyone. You were headed straight back to the Gryffindor common room, just wanting the day to be over.

For the past few weeks, all you could feel was dread. The Yule ball was coming up, and while a night full of dancing and music and having fun sounded amazing, you also knew you weren't going to be asked to go.

Now, you only had a week until the ball, and you were planning on how you were going to spend the night, probably reading, and talking with your owl, seeing nobody would be around.

You didn’t know what you were doing wrong. You felt like no matter how many times you tried to be funny or open, you were always met with a closed door. No matter how much effort you put into your appearance, you ended up looking the same, or worse. No matter how much you studied, you were always a little more behind than you wanted to be. No matter what you did, someone was doing it better.

Of course nobody saw you that way, and especially not Fred Weasley. You had become good friends with the Weasley twins your first day at Hogwarts. You were all in the same year, and got along quite well, seeing the three of you all had a bit of a mischievous streak. But Fred noticed that over the years, you seemed less like yourself. You were more introverted, you didn’t laugh as openly as you used to, you didn’t smile as much, and it broke his heart.

Fred had developed a crush on you around 5th year. He loved everything about you, how your laugh was louder than others, how your eyes crinkled when you smiled, how you were kind and open to everyone you met, how you were able to make him laugh, but also take him seriously when he was hurting. Of course George started to notice, and would tease him constantly.

“Just ask her out!” George would say, which would just make the older red head smile but shake his head.

“If she said no it would ruin our friendship, I don’t want to lose her” Fred would say, wishing situations would be different.

However, Fred was now watching you as you sped walked down the hallway to the common room. He could tell something was off, so he shouldered George, signaling that he was going to break off for a bit, before following you into the common room.

You quickly muttered the password and went inside. The common room was empty, which was a huge plus for you, not wanting to be social for the rest of the day. You took no time plopping your things down before laying back on one of the couches. Maybe now you could get some reading done in peace and not have to think about-

“Hey, are you ok?” Fred asked. you hadn’t heard him walk in and the sound of his voice made you jump.

“Oh! Fred, uh yeah, yeah I’m fine why?” You asked, heart beating quickly but not because of the recent scare.

You had also been crushing on the Older Weasley twin for a while. You loved how he always wanted to make you smile, even on the days you thought nothing could make you feel better. He introduced you to his family, who you love dearly, and also made you feel somewhat appreciated. Like you knew that he wanted you around. Of course you would never tell him your feelings, too afraid that he would reject you, and ruin your friendship.

“Well, I saw you walking in here and I thought you looked a little overwhelmed, so I wanted to see if there was anything I could do?” Fred asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Really its nothing, my brain is just somewhere else today I guess” You said, trying to move past the topic.

“Well I’m all ears if you want to talk” He said, coming over and sitting across from you on the same couch you were currently resting on. 

There was a part of you that didn’t want to bother him. That he would surely be uninterested in any personal problems you may be having. But then there was another part of you who knew him as your oldest friend. As the person who has been by your side through everything, and suddenly before you could stop yourself, the words were tumbling out of your mouth.

“Its stupid, but I’m just bummed out that I’m not going to the Yule ball” You said, causing Fred's eyes to widen a bit but you didn’t notice, too busy looking down at your hands.

“Why aren't you going?” Fred asked

“Well I was thinking of just going with some friends, but most of my friends already have dates and going alone would look lame as fuck. So I think I would rather just stay in and read or something” You said, shrugging a bit.

“Well I don't have a date” Fred said, taking you both by surprise.

“You don't?” You asked, genuinely surprised he hadn’t asked someone, or at least been asked by some other girls who you knew where fawning over him. In reality, Fred was thinking about how he would ask you, and whether or not you already had a date.

“Nope, so if you want we can go together so you we don’t have to suffer alone all night” Fred said, adding some humor to the conversation. You smiled at him, before thinking it over. 

“He’s only asking you as a friend” You thought to yourself.

“Sure! God knows what kind of trouble you would get into having to spend a whole night alone” You said, causing the both of you to laugh a bit.

“Great, so I’ll see you there?” He asked, to which you nodded your head.

“I’ll be there” You said smiling, before Fred rose to rejoin George, and tell him about the best thing that has happened to him all year.

The rest of the week went by in a flash. You and Fred were each to busy with either school or quidditch practice to really talk to each other, and you barely had time to go out and find a dress, but finally, the Yule ball was here, and you were freaking out.

“What the fuck am I doing?” You practically yelled to Angelina, who was sitting on her bed watching and you paced back and forward in your dress.

“You’re going on a date with the guy you’ve had a crush on since first year. What's the problem?” Angelina asked

“It wasn’t since first year!” You defended, before adding “And the problem is that I’m probably in love with him, and he probably thinks were only going together as friends, and I’m going to have to see him, and talk to him, and dance with him for HOURS while trying not to look like an idiot!”

“Y/n, I promise you wont look like an idiot, you look hot as hell” She said. You sent a look her way, causing her to laugh. “I’m being serious! this dress looks amazing on you, your hair is perfect, and I did your makeup so you know it could be better if you tried, you’re going to be great, so shut up and get your shoes on they’re waiting for us” 

“Fine you said, finally stopping your pacing and taking a deep breath. What's the worst that could happen? A lot, but still, try and think positive.

Fred was standing at the bottom of the grand staircase waiting for you and Angelina to come down, Angelina being Georges date. Fred however couldn’t stop fiddling with the cuff of his jacket, which was starting to annoy George.

“Mate seriously, just chill out I’m sure everything's fine” George said, trying to somewhat relive his brothers anxiety.

“I know, I know, but what if she changed her mind, or-” Fred started, about to go off on a rant before being stopped when a sharp elbow jabbed him in the ribs. Fred was about to go off on George for the stab, but before he could he followed his eyes to the staircase, on which you and Angelina were currently walking down.

You looked amazing. Your hair framed your face perfectly, your dress coming down to your ankles and the color complimenting your skin tone. You were wearing heels, which only made you slightly taller but still, it was a few more inches that allowed you and Fred to almost be face to face. He was absolutely gobsmacked.

You were walking down the stairs, desperately trying not to trip with these shoes which you were not used to wearing and taking in the sight of Fred. He was wearing a dashing suit, and you could tell he had done his hair a bit, but besides that he was still Fred, the same Fred that made you laugh and made you feel wanted. The same Fred you fell in love with.

You finally reached the bottom of the stairs and came face to face with Fred, who still hasn’t said a word, the mere sight of you making his brain short circuit.

“Wow that bad?” You asked jokingly, but deep down you were a little worried about his lack of a reaction.

“What? No! No, you look amazing!” Fred said quickly, causing you to smile and blush a bit.

“Why thank you, you don't look to bad yourself” You said, and Fred couldn’t help but smile back.

“Shall we?” He asked, sticking out his left arm which you accepted.

“We shall” You said, causing the both of you to laugh before walking into the ball room.

The night was everything you expected and more. There was dancing and amazing music, and every once in a while you and Fred would just take a break and talk.

You were laughing with Fred about  new prank idea when something caught your eye. There where two girls on the opposite side of the room, looking at the two of you and whispering to each other. Immediately your anxiety got the better of you, and all confidence you had gained during the ball now seemed to disappear.

“Would you excuse me for a second?” You asked, causing Fred’s eyes to furrow before he nodded, allowing you to pass him and walk out of the ball room. Fred watched as you left, before turning and making eye contact with George, who then made a hand motion at him to go follow you. So without thinking, he took off and tried to find where you went.

You were now standing outside, your elbows resting on a stone wall as you looked over the grounds, letting the cool autumn air wash over your skin and calm your nerves. You tried to relax but your mind couldn’t help but wander. This was stupid, you shouldn’t have come, you should have just stayed in your room and-

“Hey, are you ok?” Fred asked walking towards you, again causing you to jump a bit

“Hey Fred, yeah I’m ok I just wanted to get some air. You can go back if you want I wont mind” You said, trying to calm your breathing.

“Well I’m not going back without my date” Fred said goofily, coming to stand next to you and rest him arms by yours, but you didn’t laugh, just shook your head.

“You don’t have to call me your date Fred, I know you only asked me as a friend, so you don’t have to call this something its not” You said.

“What?” Fred asked, genuinely confused as to what you were talking about.

“Come on Fred, I know you only asked me because you felt bad. You didn’t have to waste your night on me I’m sure there are plenty of other girls you would have rather gone with” You said, still not looking at him.

“Why would I want to go with anyone else Y/n? You’re my best friend” Fred said, trying to make his feelings clear without actually having to say them just in case things didn’t go in the direction he wanted.

“Exactly, I’m your friend. You’ll only ever see me as a friend. You should be here with someone you like, someone you care about, someone who makes you happy and who you want to dance with and who you want to spend your time with” You said

“I already think all of that when I’m with you” Fred said, still not quite sure what you were saying.

“No you don't, not romantically. You could have asked any girl you wanted to come to the ball with you. Girls who are much prettier and funnier and more outgoing than me. Someone who you don’t have to ask out because you feel bad, but someone who you actually want to be with” you said, quickly wiping some tears that were threatening to fall.

Suddenly all the pieces came together for Fred. Why you had been so distant as of late, why you hadn’t been being yourself, why you seemed so low all the time. It was because at some point along the way, you developed an image of yourself that you weren’t good enough, or pretty enough, or funny enough. An image that wasn’t true, and to Fred, you were all of those things and more.

“Y/n, please look at me” Fred said, causing you to let out a breath before finally meeting his eye.

Your eyes shone from your recent tears, making them that much brighter, the moonlight danced off your skin and made your face seem to glow. Fred saw you, and saw the person he loved, and the person he needed to show was everything he would ever want. He took a deep breath, before bringing his hands up to cup your face and closing the space between you two, connecting his lips to yours.

You took a second to respond, mostly because you were in your head thinking ‘what the fuck, is this actually happening?!’ but then you took no time to melt into his touch, moving to hold his arms. After a while, you both finally pulled away, Fred looking into your eyes and smiling.

“Y/N, you are the funniest, most beautiful, most kind person I have ever known. I knew when I met you on our first day, I knew when I fell for you in fifth year, and I knew when I asked you to the ball last week. There is no one here I would rather be with than you” Fred said, causing tears to well in your eyes but this time in happiness.

“You had a crush for me in fifth year?” You asked, making both you and Fred laugh.

“Yes, and for some reason I still do, but hey if you don’t feel the same way I can just-” Fred started but you cut him off, grabbing his suit coat and bringing his lips down to meet yours again.

“I like you too” you said, quickly breaking the kiss to speak, “since sixth year”

“So, technically speaking you could say that I like you more than” Fred said, making you roll your eyes.

“Don’t ruin the moment” You joked, causing the two of you to laugh before re connecting your lips again.

The Yule ball was absolutely better than you could have ever expected.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Woooooo I hope you liked it! But yeah if you read this and really connected with it in the “I’m not feeling great about myself” kind of way, my DMs are always open, and I’m always happy to talk, so feel free to hmu. I love you all, you’re all amazing and beautiful and awesome, and thank you for reading <3

[perpetuelledaydreaming]

Illicit affairs- Chapter 8

summary: imagine the met gala but ten times better and in stark tower, that’s it. felicia doesn’t have very good manners and sneaks away with y/n but peter and his friends are on the lookout. 

Listen to: Do I wanna know -Arctic Monkeys & bad idea- girl in red

word count: 12k

(author’s notes at the end now)

warnings: s m u t. 

series masterlist

(today we change and use a photo of Felicia, although it’s not too accurate in my head)

If there was someone who had an incredible hidden talent, it was MJ. You knew she liked to draw since you first met her, but as time passed you realized that a side effect of her hobby, even if she didn’t like it as much, was that she could do a mind-blowing make-up look without even trying. You had realized this one Halloween that you had spent with Peter and his friends, you had asked her where she had gone to do that makeup-look with glitter tears streaming down her cheeks but she simply shrugged, saying that she had used some of her art supplies and done it herself. After that it was more common than not that MJ would come to do your make-up to every important event that you had to attend, she had even done Pepper’s makeup and soon it became like a side job for her too.

She had such ability with the brushes, knew exactly which colors could match your skin and outfit that you almost became dependent on her, feeling a bit more insecure when you had to do your make-up or even hire someone different than MJ but tonight she was there.  

“Do you want me to do the wing?” you asked MJ, glancing at her and searching what was wrong but she simply huffed.

“Shut up, I’m an artist” she grumbled under her breath as she shook her hand a bit and dived right into your eye.

“You are so giddy today” you muttered, which earned you a glare from MJ.

“Well, I’ve never been to a Gala myself or done the make-up for the hostess of the Gala,” she said as she finished one eye and then adjusted her dress.

As always, you were in awe of how MJ looked. Her flawless black skin matched perfectly with the custom silk lame gown that she had decided to wear for the night, it was a halter top but with a nice cut on her middle part that showed a little bit of skin and a long skirt that almost touched the floor. With her tall slender body and perfect tone muscles, she looked like a supermodel.

“No, my dad and pepper are the hosts. I’m just here for the small talk with people they don’t want to talk to and to drink champagne” you answer back as she finished the wing on the other one and you finally managed to open your eyes and see yourself in the mirror.

She had done an exceptional job as always, only mascara missing to finish the look but she had done a great job with the nude eyeshadow with a dramatic wing, she had even added a bit of gold glitter surrounding your eyes so it could match the gold earrings that you decided to wear for the night. You walked towards the mirror and fixed the dress that you had decided to wear. It was a cream Jacquemus backless dress with a slit on the side of your leg, while this time you had decided to wear the charm that held your suit in a classic bracelet usually, you wouldn’t bother that much on dresses on how you looked for these types of events given that you disliked them but tonight was different.  

“That makes you the hostess, small talk with people that you don’t like” MJ answer back as she put a bit of blush on her skin and then walked over to you, leaning against your mirror.

“I’ll try to avoid it, especially when Felicia arrives” you answered with a shrug and started to apply your mascara, but not before you notice how MJ began to play with her hands uncomfortably.

You knew it was because you brought up Felicia but, in all honesty, you were more than elated that she had agreed to come.

The last weeks or so had been a rollercoaster. Although you somehow had assured your feelings for the other, you weren’t spending that much time together. Part of it was that you were ordered to stay in bed for a few days, knowing that your injuries were bad and needed time to recover, it wasn’t like Felicia wanted to simply burst on Stark Tower or ask you to move; she would sneak some nights sneak in to see how you were doing before you were officially discharged by Bruce. But then, when you were able to go to her apartment, she would cancel a bit too often for you, arguing that a girl needs to pay the bills (which you assumed was a way to say that she was going to do some work that you didn’t like). 

So, you let her be.

Though, the days you did spend together, she was as loving as she had ever been with you. She would cook for you all the healthy foods that she hated but she would eat them with you, even your annoying quinoa salad and green smoothies, which you appreciated. You would spend time watching movies and listening to music together, curating playlists depending on a situation, and talk until early morning hours. She would kiss you too, sweetly and carefully, Felicia even freaked out when you complain after a kiss got a little bit too heated a few days after you had been ‘discharged’; after that she had tried, really hard, to keep the kisses to a PG-rating (much to her dismay).

But then this week had come and she had become a kind of a nervous wreck thinking about the Gala, which for you seemed so out of character for her. She would ask for the program of the night again, and again and who would be there, trying to know how to dress and where everything was. You attributed her behavior to the fact that she was -probably- going to meet Tony and Pepper, and you were coming out to the circle of people you would be surrounded by. Part of her was relieved when she heard that the other Avengers weren’t going to make it to the Gala and you thought it was sweet, she was nervous about how serious you had become.

To ease her nerves, you had insisted to her to go shopping together for a dress or told her to go earlier that day so she could know where everything was, if she was too worried about it, even gave suggested if she would like to come to dinner first with Tony and Pepper so she wouldn’t be too freaked out the day of the Gala. But she had refused, especially regarding the dress; saying that since she was older than you (only two years), therefore the sugar mommy feeling was a little bit off.

You had blushed at her statement but decided to let her be, knowing it was the best thing you could do for Felicia.

“y/n?”

Peter’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you turned around to watch him, and it felt like you had almost stopped breathing for a second.

You had seen Peter in a suit a couple of times before but never like this. He seemed taller and also leaner, the sharp suit he was wearing fitted him perfectly, his messy curls were settled down with a little bit of hair gel that pulled them back and to the side but you could tell that the curls would be let loose sooner rather than later. He had a small watch on his wrist, a gift from you and Tony, it had an engraved message “with great power, comes great responsibility” which honored his Uncle Ben. Peter didn’t use it often but when he did, it caused your heart to squeeze on your chest.

And Peter was mesmerized too. Your hair had been pulled down behind your ears, it was sleek and it looked perfectly styled. He could see the blush on your cheeks, the reflection of the glitter on your eyes, and he was, as always, so captivated by how your eyes seemed like constellations accompanied with your long lashes that he felt like he had zoned out. Plus, the dress fitted your body perfectly. It was showing more skin than you usually showed with a small side-boob showing thanks to the asymmetric form of it along with your exposed back. He felt his mouth drying as you turned around shyly towards him, but for him, you looked breathtaking.

“Are you ready?” Peter asked, stammering a bit as he looked away from you towards MJ who was giving him a look. “Tony and Pepper are waiting downstairs for you,” he said silently before looking at you for a second and then at the floor.

MJ snickered a bit before she took her purse and made her way to the door. “Don’t you look dapping” MJ said as she patted Peter on his shoulder and walked out of your room, you guessed she was already looking for Harley.

You both stayed silent for a moment, as you gazed at the other, you blinking owlishly while Peter drilled you with his eyes. Although you weren’t saying anything, you knew what he was thinking about: last time you were dressed this nicely, it had been the last night before you had run away. You would’ve like to avoid the memories, but it seemed inevitable to connect this moment to your last; even more knowing that although it seemed like everything had changed, your heart was still beating for Peter and his was beating for you.

“You look beautiful,” Peter whispered as you walked towards him, he couldn’t even stop himself, and the two of you flushed at his comment.

“Tha-thanks, MJ did the makeup because I have no idea,” you spoke coyly as you ordered HAPPY to turn off the lights and you and Peter walked outside the room, the door closing behind you.

You tried to shake it off, the obvious nervousness that you felt around Peter but it didn’t seem to work as he offered you his arm, so you could hold onto it as you always did.

“Well, she did a great job, you look amazing” Peter said honestly as he glanced at you while you walked towards the elevator. “She’s a lucky girl.”

It had taken all his willpower to actually say those words but he was being truthful, no matter how much it could pain him because, as he had realized the last few days, it only mattered to him that you were safe and happy. The bad thing was, that he didn’t believe you would be safe with Felicia.

For you, the comment hit a nerve. Not only because you knew how Peter felt about Felicia, and you dislike that it might have hurt him to see you with her but also because Felicia had been MIA since early in the morning. You had texted her a good morning text, asking her if she needed anything but she had declined the offer and simply stating that she would see you tonight.

Hours had passed and there was no sign that Felicia was actually coming but you deeply hope she would.

“Yeah…” you muttered with a long sigh, but you quickly changed the topic as the elevator’s doors opened. “I’m surprised you decided to bring Flash as your date.”

“What!?”

“See, MJ is with Harley and Betty with Ned,” you explained to him while you fixed your hair and watch Peter’s bug-eyed expression at your comment “Which leaves you with Flash.”

“That’s not funny.” Peter quickly answered with a glare.

“Oh, because he’s a guy?” you chuckled and placed your hands over your chest, raising an eyebrow and waiting for his answer.

“No!” Peter protested, a little bit offended at your question and then the doors to the elevator opened. “It’s because he’s Flash!”

You both laughed as you exited the elevator and walked towards where the Gala was through a small hallway that Pepper had arranged for only you two enter the building. 

The Gala had become an emblematic even for the city, Pepper had come up with it after you had moved from LA and Tony had made the respective and adequate changes to Stark Industries. It was an annual fundraising gala for the benefit of technological advances and charities and it always happened at Stark Tower.

The whole first and second floor of the building were remodeled to fit the event. On the first floor, you would find the red carpet and exhibitions of the work done by the different companies, known scientists, and young people who had the opportunity to present their ambitious ideas and work. It was also a social event, celebrities, journalists, CEO’s and more people would be invited as well. Then, the second floor was where the dinner and the after-party would usually take place. 

It wasn’t a wild evening, I mean although Tony would make it as wild as he wanted, it always went nicely and calmed. Even some  Avengers would make surprise appearances once in a while, mostly Nat, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Bruce; Thor had been technically banned after he had too much to drink once. This drew huge media attention for the projects which were extremely important for the fundraiser that took place at the event and so, it had become also somehow the Met Gala of the science community. 

It was also the only time that paparazzi would take your photos willingly, although you hated it.

Today was no different, you had to pose with Tony and Pepper on the red carpet that was prepared at the main entrance to the event. The commotion of flashing lights and excited reporters was almost something that you couldn’t get used to after so many years, and although you would normally be complaining to Pepper as Tony did sometimes when he would get bored; Peter would usually woosh in and take photos with you, so paparazzi wouldn’t use the photos with him because magazines didn’t think much of Peter back then, so it was a nice way to ruin some shots. But today was different, Peter was now known to be one of the Star Interns of Tony and he was called on by a reporter, and you were ushered off to take more photos and then by Tony who was excited to see Pepper’s speech.

And as a sea of people separated you and Peter, you decided to focus on Pepper’s speech and Felicia’s whereabouts.

But she was nowhere to be found, disappointed you quickly blended into the crowd and began to do your work. You started saying ‘hi’ and ‘welcoming’ the various people that were invited from celebrities to renowned scientists, you talk to a journalist giving them small interviews and also watch almost every one of the projects from the young students who were allowing presenting that year.

You even talked to people you didn’t like.  

You were already saying goodbye to an important human rights lawyer, that was a role model to you since you had started to think about studying law and had been asking her some questions when you heard his taut voice.

“Lovely to see you again Miss Stark, heard you got shot?”

You turned to see Norman Osborn, giving you a tight smile while Harry was behind him winking his eyes and quickly nudging to his dad and rolling his eyes. You knew you weren’t dear on Norman Osborn’s heart, especially when it came to your dad, and you ever wondered why Pepper insisted on inviting him and why he even insisted on coming to the event of someone he hated that much.

But you knew it all came back to business.

Although now, that you knew for a fact -thanks to Felicia and the events lately- that Norman had willingly given Kingpin the formula to his poisonous serum and that Harry had no idea about it; you were even more snarky and irritated to see his face than before.

“Yes, I’m fine now.” You stated curtly as you glanced at Harry for one second, you quickly took a swig of your drink. Mentally begging for this interaction to be over.

“Of course, you are dear,” He snapped with a glare. “With your father’s technology, you wouldn’t respect the hand of destiny. Such a waste of time and resources to play hero” he said as he rolled his eyes.

You gripped your drink a bit tighter and you felt like a vein on your neck had just popped off your neck. It was predictable from your past encounters with Norman Osborn that he would say something like that but as he had so seriously stated that he thought saving your life or being an Avenger was a waste? Was he being fucking serious?

Jerk.

“Careful Norman, your jealousy is showing,” you smirked as you glanced at him uninterested. “Now kindly fuck off”

Norman gapped at your answer, completely blown away that you had actually said that since you usually had been quiet about his usual remarks. His face was red with bulging eyes as the cords of his neck became rigid, completely astound and angry at your comment. You were thankful that you weren’t staying silent anymore as, in a blink of an eye, Norman spun on his heels and walked away from you, leaving you with Harry.

“Always a pleasure!” you yelled at him as he walked away, you couldn’t help the tugging on the sides of your lips and then your attention turned to Harry, who was chuckling. “Your father’s lovely”

Harry looked as good as always and sometimes you wondered how on earth someone could look like that. His sharp jaw and sleek black hair with his almond eyes made him look like a model, a smirk worth a thousand dollars and his chiseled cheekbones made girl’s and boy’s knees weak. Even when he looked as put together as he was at the moment, you could still see a mischievous gleam in his eyes, you guessed the bad boy look couldn’t fade away easily and you couldn’t help to think about the possible rumors on the tabloid if they saw you dancing with him at the party.

“Don’t tell me about it,” Harry stated as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your cheek, slowly and seductively.  “It’s nice to see you again, y/n”

He was always extremely smooth and charming, and always managed to get your heart beating someway although you knew that you weren’t really interested, it was just this aura about him.

“It’s good to see you too, H.” you answered back as you took another sip of your drink while he offered to cheer, you did the same.

As he finished taking a sip of his drink, he walked closer to you. “I’ve missed you in these events, it’s …”

“Draining?”

Harry chuckled, mostly for himself as he often did. “I was going to say annoying as fuck but yeah, that works too.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his comment because it was true if you would like to summarize the feelings for these kinds of events -especially for your role on them and how the media would portray it-, they were annoying as fuck. But honestly, the science part and the charity part were your favorite thing in the world.

You knew that Harry felt the same way as you, the pressure to be the golden child and do everything right, but there was where Harry’s charm laid. Although he could be all of those things because he had everything in his favor, he disliked his father and the pressure so much that he rebelled against it.

And now, it had become part of him to be the bad boy.

So, it didn’t surprise you what he said next.

He leaned over to you, whispering directly on your ear and you couldn’t avoid but to feel a shiver running on your back as he whispered on your ear. “You know, you in that dress is making me think of champagne, strawberries, a bed, and us playing strip poker”

You gave a step back at him, a bit surprised by how confident his statement was, your eyes widened slightly and your cheeks flushed before you shook your head, ready to play it off casually.

But then, you heard Felicia’s characteristic silvery voice behind you.

“Get in line pretty boy,” Felicia stated, her fingernails trailing your back as she defensively wrapped her arm around your waist, glaring a bit at Harry, who rapidly blinked as if he was trying to understand the nature of your relationship with Felicia but it didn’t take him long. “Stark,” Felicia said with a smoky voice.

If you were being truthful, you were always a bit nervous around Felicia, a bit too in awe with her beauty and essence. Sometimes you were worried about how she could suck you in so easily with just a pout but then moments like this reminded you why.

Felicia’s outfit left you breathless, although you recognized it was from Versace and wondered where she had gotten it, you couldn’t avoid feeling tingles through your body. Felicia stunned with the silky lace-trimmed camisole-like minidress she was wearing, she had a dramatic smokey eye with a mate-nude lipstick that suited her perfectly, and to your surprise, she had decided to let her silver hair down and she fixed it in an almost Barbarella-like style but less dramatic that made her look like she belonged to a runway.

You could feel the burning heat on your body.

“Thought you would never come”, you whispered with a smile and before she could even respond, you pressed your lips against hers.

It was a firm but soft kiss, as if you were showing her off finally and claiming Felicia yours, as she had done with you so many times before. But now, you both were as purposeful as you could’ve been, the kiss was so sweet and it seemed like just kissing her that way, you would get a toothache. When you finally pulled apart with a shy smile while Felicia simply smirked, your foreheads pressed together, you felt like you were the only people in the world.

And then Harry spoke.

“That’s so hot” he whispered, you figured it was mostly to himself as he looked at you two wide-eyed and surprised about it.

You could see Felicia rolling her eyes in irritation as you laced your hands together but as soon as she turned around to Harry, she was displaying the cat-like grin that characterized her.

“Would you like to join us?” Felicia purred as she got a little closer to Harry, who seemed like he was about to pass out with Felicia’s words.

“Felicia!”

Peter shook his head and walked away, not wanting to listen to the end of that conversation, knowing that it would just make him break the cup of champagne that he had been holding tightly as he listened to Harry and you even before Felicia arrived. His jaw was still twitching when he walked up to Ned and Betty, whose main spot was the exhibitions that were presented, while Flash would guard the entrance and MJ with Harley would be staying on the drinking station (per Harley’s request) and Peter would be on the dance floor where most of the action would be happening.

But even with a whole plan laid out, Felicia had still managed to fool them.

“Guys she’s here” he whispered through the com as he saw all of his friends snap their gazes as they tried to look for Felicia and you, in the middle of the main floor, talking with Harry.

“How!?” Flash cried through the com. “I’ve been patrolling this entrance all night, what the hell?”

“She’s sneaky, I already told you!” Peter grumbled under his breath, loud enough for a couple of rich old people to stare at him bug-eyed, which he simply answered with an awkward smile and made his way towards where Ned and Betty were.

“What are we going to do now?” Harley asked, Peter could already tell that Harley was tensing up.

For a genius, he wasn’t good at handling his emotions under pressure.

“Just keep an eye on her.” Peter glowered as he finally arrived at where Ned was, trying to find some consolation or ideas that came from Ned who always had some positive thing to say or a good idea to add.

But Ned’s eyes were focused on something behind Peter and the wince he did, as well as Betty, tipped Peter that he should turn around.

“That’s not hard, I think that she just stepped on Harry’s Osborn foot and made him cry” Ned mused as he took a sip from his drink.

Peter watched as you dragged Felicia away from Harry, giving him an apologetic look before you were walking towards the drinking area, where Harley and MJ were.

“Harley, MJ she’s coming your way” Peter whispered, hoping that they wouldn’t be too awkward that you would realize the plan.

Not that there was any serious plan, Peter still wasn’t sure what he was looking for. He wasn’t sure what Felicia would do or if she would even do something, but he knew that she wasn’t good news, he just could feel it in his bones and hoped that at the end of the day, you wouldn’t need to find out if something happened.

He just wanted to keep you safe.

Harley turned around with MJ just in time and he gave a small smile to Felicia and you, who were walking hand-in-hand together. You were bickering a bit because of her reaction to Harry’s comment and how she had stomped on his foot with her sharp heel and she hadn’t even said ‘sorry’ arguing why she would say that to someone that sexualized you. So, you were thankful when your eyes caught MJ and Harley on the drinking station, hoping it could distract Felicia from going back and scratching Harry’s eyes.

“I know you’ve met before but this is Felicia,” you said as Felicia put on a new smile and offered her hand to Harley and MJ. “I wanted you to meet her, officially”

Harley and MJ shook Felicia’s hand cheerily, but you could feel how Harley and MJ tensed up. You could feel their anxiousness dripping from Harley’s eyes and you knew that it wasn’t normal. Harley, for a scrawny boy like him, was a bit too smug, too smooth, too relaxed for him to be acting this way.

“It’s so nice to meet y/n friends,” Felicia said playfully as she wrapped an arm around your waist and smirked up to Harley and MJ, who barely gave her a genuine smile.

“Yeah, sa-same” Harley let out, words stumbling against one another as they left their mouths.

MJ simply nodded and added a small ‘for sure’ with a honeyed voice that you knew didn’t quite fit MJ and something felt off. You frowned at their interaction, surprised mostly by how stiff they were. Did they have a problem with Felicia? You knew that Harley was certain about Felicia’s identity, not that you had discussed it but he wasn’t dumb and it made you wonder if he was feeling the same thing that Peter had told you about.

But you brushed it off, knowing that it wouldn’t be a good thing to keep Felicia there.

“I’m going to take you dancing” you offered to Felicia who gave you a gleaming smile, her cheeks tainted by a cloud of small pink dust, and you quickly dragged her off from your friends.

Your mind started whirling, wondering what was wrong with Harley and MJ? Harley had always been nothing but supportive regarding your relationship with Felicia, hell he was supportive of everything you did. MJ too, she never judged but you’d seen her acting strange since the start of the day.

“What’s wrong?” Felicia said a little bit unsettled as you turn to look at her.

But you simply shook your head, muttering a small ‘nothing’ but you couldn’t help yourself and you looked back at your friends, noticing them whispering something to themselves and you wished that you could put your suit right there and then to listen to their thoughts but knowing it was unreasonable, you decided to turn around, just in time to bump into Tony and Pepper.

You stopped dead in your tracks, your heels barely squeaking in the hallway as the two heads snapped in your directions. The first being Tony’s and the second being Peppers, who seemed to be discussing something together but the conversation immediately ended when they saw you.

“Oh,” you muttered as Tony and Pepper’s gaze down to see you, hand in hand with Felicia.

“Oh?” Tony answered back as he curved his eyebrows while he watched Felicia for a second and then his gaze went to you.

It wasn’t like you brought Felicia by surprise, you had been told weeks ago that she could come. Either way, this was a newfound territory, Peter seemed to be the only possible person you would introduce to your parents in that manner and it didn’t even count because they had known him before. Charlie was a no-go from the start, knowing deep down that you wanted to keep that friendship or relationship for yourself since you both knew it wouldn’t go pass that. But then Felicia seemed to be someone where you could, maybe, go to the next step.

“Well, y/n aren’t you going to introduce us?” Pepper said, her startled look brushing off and giving entrance to the characteristic warm smile she always wore.

Before you could even answer, Felicia’s charm was on.

“It’s so lovely to meet you Mrs. And Mr. Stark”, she smiled brightly at Pepper as she shook her hand and give her two kisses on her cheek, slightly making her voice higher than what it usually was.

“Lovely to meet you too, it’s so nice to finally meet you.” Pepper said, completely charmed by Felicia’s attitude and she quickly nudged Tony with her elbow on his ribs so he could say ‘hi’ as well, for some reason he had to stare at Felicia as if he was trying to figure out something.

You hoped it was just a parental instinct.

“We are so glad you are here; we’ve been trying to meet you but missy here was keeping you under wraps.” Tony offered Felicia his hand and she shook it firmly, with a bright smile but with the same intense gaze that Tony had in his eyes.

You chuckled at Tony’s comment, hoping it would dissipate any kind of suspicion, not that it seemed to be very successful. Pepper followed your lead and so did Tony and Felicia.

“Can’t imagine why” Felicia muttered between laughs and you feel your cheeks flushing at her comment, giving her a warning look, which she just shrugged off by kissing you on the cheek.

It made you smile.

“Okay, we are going to dance so, I’ll let you be” you announced as you realized that Tony and Pepper were still staring, quickly dragging her to the dance floor.

It wasn’t a huge dance floor, tables were surrounding the small space that was farther from the reception where everyone was and there was a small stage set up in front of you, at the moment there was just a talented pianist taking the lead. A few people were dancing, much of them were way older than you and the ones that were old enough to care about what you were doing (especially journalist) as they saw you entering the dance floor, widened their eyes.

You quickly offered Felicia your hand and she reached out, accepting your hand before you were pulling her out onto the dance floor. You caught a few people watching you but you didn’t care, you quickly placed your hands-on Felicia’s shoulder and she placed her cold hands against the skin that showed from your torso and hips. You began to sway together to the soft music playing from the piano.

“You think they notice?” Felicia asked you softly, pulling you a bit closer.

“Not at all” you lied, knowing that there might’ve been something that Tony was suspicious of, but you didn’t want to scare Felicia.

“Your dad seemed a little bit weird out,” she continued. “But I couldn’t tell if it’s because I’m a girl or because he recognized me”

“He didn’t” you assured her looking at her firmly, but you melted as she smirked at you, her eyes gleaming as you played with a strand of her hair. “Okay, but the silver hair doesn’t help”

Felicia gasped jokingly, causing you to chuckle a bit.

“Hey” Felicia complained, as she pulled you a bit closer while biting her lip. “You love the silver hair and more when it’s down”

Which was true.

“My bad” you answered with a fond smile, pressing your forehead against hers.

You kept swaying to the music, bodies pressed together as Felicia held you and guided you to the music. It felt like you were the only two people in the room, you mostly tried to keep your eyes closed, not wanting to disturb your daydream, although it was hard with the whispers of some surprised observers as they arrived on the dance floor and saw you dancing with a girl. Nonetheless, you stayed focused on Felicia’s touch on your skin, on the music that was overflowing your senses, and to the smell of cotton candy.

The only thing that woke you up from the trance you were in was Felicia’s fidgeting, you finally opened her eyes on the third time she had removed her hands from your body for about ten seconds.

“What’s wrong?” you asked her with a frown, to see Felicia’s lips pinched into a fine line.

“Everyone’s watching”

You turned around and it was true, it seemed like the majority of the party were whispering from the tables and looking into the dance floor, even Tony and Pepper seemed a bit stunned by how close you were with Felicia. You could feel Felicia’s shoulders tensing up as she watched everyone, you knew this wasn’t part of the deal when Felicia had agreed to come with you.  

“Hey, it’s okay. Let’s go and eat something” you muttered as you carefully place your hand on her jaw and pulled her gaze back to yours.

Felicia shook her head and gave a step back, as she swallowed hard and then look down. It seemed as if the hairs on the nape of her neck had standup and although you could seem a gleam of regret, she was visibly done.

“Do you mind if I go to the bathroom really quick?” she asked, with a small voice and not looking at you.

You couldn’t hide your disappointment but you couldn’t blame Felicia and her discomfort. You sighed, mentally cursing everyone in the room who was making Felicia feel uncomfortable, and you felt your stomach twisting with guilt for putting her in the spotlight, something that she had never asked.

“Sure, I’ll wait for you” you answered with a slight smile, but looking at her with worried.  

Felicia didn’t stutter or doubted, she quickly let go of you and walked off, some people were still looking at her as she exited the dance floor and then the room, but the gazes were still on you who remained on the dance floor. It felt a bit awkward as you stood there, all alone, and you felt kind of ridiculous.

You looked down for a second and decided that getting a drink was your best bet for not feeling dumb or guilty but before you could give another step, you bumped into Peter.

“Want to dance?” Peter offered, looking at you expectantly and you faltered.

Your eyes linked with Peter’s, who had his eyes twinkling as he looked at you with a warm smile and you felt like melting right then and thereby all means. You didn’t even felt the need to say anything to Peter, you simply took his hand and he stepped towards you, reaching to the small of your back and you held your breath as his fingertips touched your exposed skin. Then, he firmly took one of your hands in his, which he placed on his chest while you started to sway to the music. You wrapped one of your arms around his neck and felt the heat coming from Peter’s body.

As always, you felt at home in his arms with the smell of honey and cinnamon wrapping you in.

“You look really good today” you finally said to Peter, as you looked up to him.

Peter had been looking behind you and your voice snapped you out of it, he was trying to figure out where Felicia was or if she was coming back, but there were no signs of her. So, he decided to simply enjoy having you in his arms and smiled.

“Just today?”

You smiled. “You know what I mean,” you muttered as you laid your head on his chest, so he couldn’t see the small sprinkling of red to dust across your cheeks.

“Well, you look especially beautiful today,” Peter added before he stepped away and let go of your back, spinning you around under his arm before he pulled you in.

You laughed as you looked at Peter dreamily, as you remember that a part of you had wanted this to happen for a long time when you were younger. It would be almost two years since you had skipped town but there you were, harboring feelings for Peter Parker and his caramel curls with chocolate eyes, trying to push them down but now it was because you had a relationship.

“Are you having a good time?” you asked him, trying to keep your thoughts in line.

Peter nodded as he looked around. “Yeah, food is nice and some people wanted to talk to me when they realized I’m Tony’s intern”

“Well, you are the best intern,” you answered honestly with a shrug, causing Peter to give you a smug smile to which you replied almost immediately with a roll of eyes.  “Don’t tell Harley I said that”

“I won’t,” Peter promised as he pulled you closer to him, he could feel he was getting overwhelmed by the characteristic vanilla smell that always surrounded you, he had you in his arms and he couldn’t help himself to ask. “Do you really think that?”

You looked at him while tilting your head as if he had asked something so obvious to you that you were surprised that Peter didn’t already know.

“You know how I feel about you,” you found yourself saying before you could stop yourself.

Peter stared at you for a minute as if you’d lost your mind by saying what you had said. He seemed so confused by the sudden second of honesty, that it made you wondered if you had screwed up again and you felt panic washing your body. But as Peter saw how alarm you’d gotten, he decided to change the topic.

“And you?” he asked before spinning you around again.

You thanked him mentally for that and give him a small smile, which he nodded to it.

“What about me?”

Peter sighed, not wanting to bring Felicia up to this moment after you had said that but he felt like he had no other choice. He groaned and then dipped his head down to your shoulder. You chuckled and placed your hand in the back of his neck, playing with his baby curls before he stood back up straight.

“Are you having a good time, with…” Peter said but his words tapered off, not wanting to say her name.

You could see how his jaw clenched but you simply rolled your eyes, thinking that Peter was somehow just being dramatic.

  “You can say her name, you know?” you joked but as you look at Peter and how to set his jaw was, you felt like he was being serious.

And he was. 

“I know, I just don’t want to,” Peter said bluntly and you frowned at him. “My Spidey sense just goes off.” He said with a shrug.

“Well, that’s uncalled for,” you shot at him with a haughty expression.

Peter cocked his head as he looked at you, and you felt the anger bubbling up on your chest. He seemed condescending and you hated it, you hated that he was watching you from this pretend high road.

“It’s not,” Peter grumbled.

You didn’t say anything right away as you glared at Peter, you knew Felicia was a sensitive topic but you hadn’t witness Peter this pressed or being so blunt about your relationship with Felicia. You wondered if it was because he had seen you dancing with her or just because he still didn’t like her but you didn’t need this at the moment.

“Are we going to do this again Peter?” you asked him while raising your eyebrow as if challenging him.

And Peter, who feel sheer annoyance at Felicia that stemmed from his bad feeling about her was ready to go.

“I think we need to,” Peter answered bluntly. “I just don’t trust her, y/n.”

You chuckled ironically and looked away before your eyes came back to his, the audacity. “Well, I do Peter and if I remember correctly, no one’s asking you.”

Peter shook his head at your response, feeling a bit more annoyed at how stubborn you were being. Not that he wasn’t aware that you were already stubborn.

“I know you make fun of my senses,” Peter started, as he gave you another spin, you followed his lead but you were glaring at him under your lashes. “But I’m telling you there’s something wrong and dangerous with her.”

“Peter you need to stop,” you growled under your breath as Peter rolled his eyes and tried to spin you again but you pushed him back a bit.

Peter winced at the gesture and you could feel your heart aching at Peter’s behavior, part of you felt guilty but another part of you was just hurt that he didn’t try to keep his comments to himself. Peter was the kindest person you knew, but the jealousy or whatever he was feeling about Felicia and how he tried to just throw rocks at your relationship with Felicia, simply felt just mean.

“y/n, you know I can’t let you be in danger” Peter answered honestly, and yes, you could sense the fright in his voice and see the gleam of uneasiness in his eyes, but it wasn’t fair to you.

“I’m not!” you snapped at him; a little bit louder than what you would’ve liked.

“But you are!” Peter answered with the same strength and you hoped that no one had heard you. Both of you were breathing heavily and by that point, the tension could be cut with a knife as you glared at the other but then Peter simply sighed, letting go from your body and watched you sheepishly. “and I can’t stay silent while I watch you get-what?”

You frowned at Peter’s behavior. “Peter?”

Peter swallowed hard and then his eyes traveled to the entrance, where Flash was shaking his head as he looked anxiously at Peter. He closed his eyes, knowing that after this you might even get angrier with him, probably more than what you’d ever been but at that moment he didn’t care.

Felicia had disappeared and it was a risk.

“Where’s the last time you saw her?” Peter asked as he placed his fingers on his ear, trying to listen better at the com and he watched as it dawned on you what he had been doing.

The disappointment in your eyes and then how they were washed with anger made Peter winced.

“Are you kidding me?” you snapped at him, trying to take the com out of his ear so you could talk but Peter grabbed your hands strongly, you cursed to yourself that you couldn’t overpower him at the moment or take out your suit.

People began to stare at the both of you, as you twisted your wrists to get off from Peter’s hold but it was getting harder and harder, Peter trying to listen through the com to whatever Harley was saying.

“What do you mean she isn’t here?” Peter growled under his breath and then looked back at the edge of the dance floor where Flash was, you followed his gaze and quickly groaned, annoyed that all of your friends were in this together.

“Let. Me. Go!” you said as you gritted your teeth while turning to him with eyes blazing with heat, and Peter, who was gazing at you regretfully, took his hold off of you.

You pushed Peter aside and then walked towards Flash, who had this haunted expression on his face as he saw you coming his way, clearly intimidated by you.

“Give me that Flash,” you growled at the boy who was looking at you sheepishly. “I don’t want to ask twice” you threaten while raising your eyebrow and wiggling your fingers so that Flash could give you the com.

He didn’t hesitate, and you quickly put the earpiece on your ear and pulled out the wire from his shirt so you could talk to them.

“All of you need to back off, now.” You growled at them, clearly angry at what your supposed friends were doing. It seemed so extreme for them to have this whole spy thing going on to keep you away from Felicia, and it hurt. It hurt that after everything, after how much you had grown, it seemed like no one really cares about or trusted you and your choices. And you wanted to only be angry -you really did- but the words that Peter told you and how sincere they were, you felt trepidation as you thought about Felicia being loose at Stark Tower; you couldn’t help to ask. “Where was the last time you saw her?”

Peter turned from his place on the dance floor, a frown on his face and he felt somehow relief that he could hear that you were concerned about Felicia’s whereabouts too.

“She was in the bathroom,” you heard Betty’s voice in the com. “But then she just disappeared”

“I followed her there but she wasn’t on the stalls, she just sneaked out,” MJ followed but then Harley interrupted them.

“Just saw her at the edge of the entrance to the elevators,” Harley added and before he could say anything else, you walked away.

You didn’t know what you were going to catch Felicia in as you tried to move through the crowd of people on the gala, as you walked outside and glared at Harley and MJ who were watching you sorrowfully, clearly feeling shitty about what they had done but you passed by them as you walked towards the entrance to the elevators. The thing about Felicia was that most of the time, you did trust her -most of the time- but no matter how much you tried to assure yourself the same thing, you knew there was always Peter’s voice in the back of your head, saying you that she was trouble.

And you knew that it would always somehow hunt your relationship with Felicia. It’s not like she had said anything or anything she did, it was the feeling that came along with it. Her world moved too fast and her love seemed to burn too bright, but for you, how on earth is someone that was basically the opposite of what you were pulled in like she did? Even if sometimes it felt off.

“What are you doing here?” you asked Felicia, louder than you expected as you caught her against the wall while she was fixed her shoe. She was at the edge of the private entrance that Pepper had made for you to go to your apartment, it was supposed to have a guard but the person was nowhere to be found.

Felicia seemed a bit stunned as she heard you and quickly straightened herself, placed her small bag on her shoulder, and fixed her skirt. “Didn’t know it would take you so long to realize I was gone, it’s even upsetting, you know?”

You cut her game off quickly as you placed your hands on your hips and glared at her. You knew she liked to play games; it was rather obvious by now that she wouldn’t give you a straight but either way you still gave it your best shot.

“Why aren’t you at the party?” you asked her again and Felicia, who didn’t answer immediately, though the expression in her eyes grew hard to read. Her hands quickly settled on your waist and tugged you forward.

“Isn’t it obvious?” she breathed out as she gazed at your lips, but you were still glaring at her. Felicia simply rolled her eyes and before you knew it, Felicia threw you back against the wall into a bruising kiss.

You felt a bit stunned for a second but then you just let go. There was something about the kiss that was so intoxicating. Her lips were softer than ever, she tasted like champagne and cotton candy. You could feel how her hands were wondering your body and before you knew it, she was raising your skirt and pulling one of your legs up so you could wrap it around her waist. Her hands trailed then under your dress, the cool of her fingers on your inner tight made goosebumps dance across your skin. It was right then when you felt the spark of heat between your legs, you knew you were getting turned on too.

And for some reason it made you snap.

You pulled away from her and Felicia let out a soft whine of protest. Both were breathing heavily, and you could see Felicia’s lipstick all over her mouth but she was watching you with a cat-like gaze. It was right then and there were you realized that things were about to go a lot farther than what was usually intended,

“Are you drunk?” you asked her with a frown.

But Felicia shook her head. “No,” she answered honestly and her eyes flickered to your lips, her gaze darkened. “I just want you”

Before you knew it, she had her lips against yours again, tongues dancing as you let out small whimpers. You tangled your hands in her hair, nearly moaning at the feeling of her breasts against yours, you were so incredibly pressed together as you’d ever been. Felicia started to play with the rest of your dress, almost wanting to take it off and you smiled into the kiss as you tried to stop her but it was getting too hot. How her hands were loosely trailing your exposed torso, electricity dance under her skin, and then Felicia placed her knee up between your legs, nearly making you moan extremely loud.

You didn’t know if it was the champagne or the fact that the anger that you’d felt minutes ago was somehow fueling the encounter, how somehow you wanted to show that Peter was wrong. Felicia was yours and you were Felicia, there was no reason to think otherwise, and so, why you needed to wait longer?

Therefore, you didn’t hesitate when Felicia said something else.  “Can we go up to your room?” she asked, it almost sounded like a whine as she touched your body.

And you simply nodded before you took her hand and pulled her into the elevator, continuing to kiss and moan and giggle as you pressed her against the elevator. It felt like something shifted as you entered the penthouse and walked her to your room.

The moment you were inside, Felicia pressed had you pressed against the wall, hands tangled in your hair as she kissed your back and began to undo your dress as quickly as she could, without ripping it. You moaned loudly as the dress finally pooled down on your feet and Felicia pressed hot open-mouth kisses to your back until she reached the small of your back and played with the thong that you had decided to wear.

“Such a pretty girl,” Felicia muttered, mostly to herself and you moaned at the thought of Felicia liking dirty talk. “And all mine”

You just whimpered at her comment, you wanted it so badly. So, you turned around and pulled Felicia by her neck up and began to undress her, leaving a trail of clothes on the floor while you drove her back to your bed. You both were just on your thongs by the time you fell onto your bed, and you quickly take the lead as you kissed her while you placed yourself on top, you then decided to press your tight between her legs this time, immediately pressing upwards and making her groan against your mouth but she quickly ground on your tight while you watched her in wonder.

Felicia’s body was perfect, you had seen her with little clothes on but this was a whole different thing. Having her on your bed, exposed as she whimpered and moan, because of your actions was a completely new feeling. Her skin was soft and dark, her hair was tousled and falling haphazardly across her face and spread on the bed, her plump breasts were bouncing by the way she was moving against you, the curve of her hips encased in the tiny black panties she was wearing, made you feel like you wanted to cry.

It would be your first time with a girl and somehow you froze, maybe just because you were just awe-struck by Felicia’s beauty or just because of the sheer fear that you could fuck this up. Felicia realized it soon and quickly raised from her place in the bed and stood from the place where she was, taking your hand and holding it tightly.

“y/n, don’t be afraid”

You simply shook your head, swallowing. “I just really want you,” you panted breathlessly and Felicia winced at your comment but before you could ask her what was wrong, her eyes shifted to your exposed breast and began to hungrily kiss them.

You massaged her scalp as she administered all the attention and devotion to your chest and you quickly fell backward, your head hit the pillows behind it as Felicia pressed herself against you. You couldn’t help to squirm and yelped as Felicia’s lips latched onto your right nipple, sucking it harshly before she changed over to the other. You were heaving and letting out small sighs as Felicia dig her fingers into the flesh of your hips and thigh, your core was dripping as you looked down to see Felicia’s eyes trained on your reaction.

She smirked as heard you whining about her stopping, she quickly pressed her lips firmly against you, her tongue playing with yours before she spoke.

“Tell me how bad you want it,” she whispered as her lips ghosted over yours but you only moaned as you felt her hardened nipples against yours.

“Hardy, don’t tease.” You complained as you cupped her face and pulled her down roughly for another kiss but she quickly pulled away with a mischievous smile.

“Come on Stark,” she panted as she looked at you. “I want to watch you beg”

You were pretty sure your mind snapped after that.

Before you knew it, Felicia pressed her digits to your clothed clit and you couldn’t help but to roll your eyes to the back of your head and opened your mouth at the sensation, but you wanted more. But you simply whined, not wanting to actually say anything but Felicia shook her head.

“Say it” she rasped.

“Please, touch me” you finally begged as you squirmed under her touch.

It was such an unbelievable turn on to hear Felicia’s dark laugh before she slipped her hand into your panties, stroking your entrance with her fingers as she nipped your earlobe. Your breath hitched, and you moaned, holding onto the sheets of your bed as she pumped a finger, and then two inside of you as she worked on your wetness. You gasped in bliss and soon you were arching your hips to get closer to her hand as waves of fire passed through your body, she was so good to you.

She was pressing against all your sensitive spots as she placed hot kisses on your mouth and wherever she could, it didn’t take too long for you to scream her name, your walls flittered around her fingers and your breath began to come in ragged pants. You didn’t know exactly how it happened since you were feeling so busy as she administered all the attention to your core, but soon your mouth found Felicia’s shoulder and before you knew it you bite into her skin, she whimpered and moaned at your reaction.

“Fuck…” she moaned as she dipped her head onto your shoulder, having to stop one second.

And you felt able to breathe again and before Felicia could protest, you switched positions and quickly took Felicia’s arms and placed them over her head.

She giggled.

“Didn’t take you for a top, y/N!” she screamed at the end as you placed two fingers on her core without much anticipation and began to administer the same care to her as she had done for you.

You pushed Felicia’s panties off her legs and spread her legs wider, you wanted to watch how she came undone under you. It was almost hypnotic how your fingers would get lost on her core and how you would be touching her in all the right spots, you then pressed on her clit with your thumb and it just made her moan louder, you went deeper and incomprehensible noises left Felicia’s lips. It was just too much and before you knew it, you simply dived down between her legs.

Felicia tasted like candy and you hummed into her core as you buried your mouth inside of it, tongue on her entrance and making her scream your name. You quickly placed your hands under her legs and grabbed her hips tightly as you continued administering attention to her core, with so much love and care that it seemed like you would die if you weren’t pleasuring her. Then you wrapped your lips around her clit and flicked it with your tongue before you continue to kiss her and in that second one of her hands flew to your head, tugging your hair.

You smiled as you watched her edging, you quickly decided to touch and grab her butt, pulling her in even closer. But before you knew it, Felicia was raised from her position ad pulling away from you, she grabbed you by your chin and captured your lips into a vulgar kiss, her tongue tangling sensually with yours.

But you pulled away. “I wanted to make you cum,” you panted as she licked her lips, tasting herself before she shook her head.

“I’ll make you cum first,” she whispered before she threw you against the bed, a little bit too harsh. “It’s an order,” she said and you felt a shiver ran down your spine because of the anticipation.

Felicia smiled, you could see her cheeks flushed pink and her cat-like grin as she placed a peck against your lips and began to kiss your body, from your chest to your middle to your core. The way Felicia was licking you, sucking you, seemed like too much. You might’ve screamed, moaned, gasped, or all three at once, maybe you whined but you couldn’t remember. It almost seemed like you had blacked out by how she was kissing you down there, how she was pressing on your clit and fucking you with her mouth.

It wasn’t like when Peter had already done it but for obvious reasons, this seemed more intense. The way Felicia was so purposefully working on you, had you gasping for air. It was wild, just like Felicia was, it was pure heat and fire, sweat dripping from your naked skin as Felicia held you down so hard that she probably left bruises. She knew what she was doing to you and it became more than obvious that she wanted to keep going as you felt the fire pooling on your stomach and your legs began to shake, it didn’t take long for you to feel yourself clenching and shuddering around Felicia’s tongue or fingers and you started to come apart at the seams.

Felicia smiled as she felt it and look at you screaming her name, everything exploding with fire as wave after wave of your orgasms seized your body. White light danced on your vision and ripples of blinding pleasure erupted through your body. Your breath was labored as Felicia came back up and pressed her lips against yours, while you tried to catch your breath and slowly drifted back to earth after your release.

“You were so good,” Felicia whispered as she placed small kisses over your body and then quickly stood from the bed into the bathroom of your room.

You were still trying to recover as you watched her naked body entering the bathroom and then heard how she used the sink before she came out with a towel and carefully cleaned you. You smiled at Felicia who quickly put her underwear on and began to look for her dress while you watched her from the bed.

It was such a completely new experience for you, that you were still a bit in awe about what had happened, you quickly put on your underwear and wrapped the towel around your torso while Felicia looked at herself in your large mirror while she fixed her make-up and her dress. Part of you was extremely happy that it had finally happened but then, another part of you wished that Felicia could just stay in bed and talk to you about it.

“That was…” you started, hoping that it would pull her in.

But both of your heads snapped at the loud noise coming from your door. There was knocking a loud, knocking on your door and as the seconds passed it became almost violent.

“y/n?” Felicia asked as she took her jacket and her pursed and walked back to one of the corners of your room, the one farther away from your door.

You frowned at the incessant knocking and quickly took the towel off, running to get your dress and putting it on as the pounding continued. You were still trying to zip your dress and jumped when you finally got close to the door and ordered HAPPY, your AI, to open the door.

As the door opened your eyes widened as you looked at Peter barging into the room. Peter glanced at you and he stayed still for a moment, he could tell almost immediately and it felt like someone had just punched all the air out of his lungs. He saw your disheveled hair and how your dress wasn’t fully zipped, he could also see the messy blankets behind you on your bed and he had to close his eyes for a second, otherwise, he was sure he would’ve broken something at the moment.

He hated it, Felicia had been successful at sucking you in and now Peter knew why.

He finally opened his eyes and decided to get back to what he was doing, he shot a glare at Felicia.

“Felicia,” Peter growled as he walked closer to her while Felicia took a defensive stance.

Before he could get somehow closer, you walked in front of Peter and stopped him. Firmly placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back, defending Felicia.

“What do you want, Parker?” you growled at him but Peter didn’t place the attention on you, instead he stared at Felicia disdainfully.

Peter didn’t want to talk to you about it, if his wishes came true, you wouldn’t even be in the room right now. It was taking all his willpower not to drag you out of the room and lock you out before he began to try to capture Felicia, he just didn’t want to hurt you in the process.

“Give it back, Felicia.” He growled once more and you could see his hands forming into fists, he was holding it so tightly that you were sure that Peter would get moon marks on his palms.

But you brushed the thought off as the words of Peter dawned on you. You frowned at Peter’s comment and you turned towards Felicia, who was giving another step back as she defensively looked at you.

“What are you talking about?” you asked Peter coldly, while your eyes were still linked to Felicia’s greyish-purple eyes.

“Your girlfriend stole the repulsor prototype!” Peter snapped at her and you felt your heart sinking on your chest. “I checked the security footage; she stole it and she’s going to give it to-”

“Shut up!” Felicia’s angry scream cut off Peter as you could feel your head shaking automatically at Peter’s accusation.

There was no way Felicia had done it, otherwise, it would mean that nothing that had happened with you was true, that the feelings that you were harboring with Felicia were based on a lie, that she had never cared or loved you, that Peter was right, that she was only using you.

And then your eyes fell onto her hands and how hard and tight she was holding her small bag.

“Felicia…”

The way Felicia’s eyes were almost tearing up, how she glanced away from you wanting to avoid your gaze and her chin began to tremble. It was almost palpable the regret on her, the guilt seemed to be eating her alive and you felt like you wanted to vomit.

“Felicia, tells me it’s not true,” you whispered once more as you looked at her, you felt your tears pooling in your eyes but Felicia didn’t move. “Answer me!” you screamed at her, it ripped through your chest and it was so loud that both, Felicia and Peter, jumped at your reaction.

Peter could feel the weight of your emotions on his shoulders, he knew that he had fucked up by bringing you into this but there was no other way, Felicia was on a mission and Peter couldn’t allow her to finish it.

“Felicia, you don’t have to go to Kingpin,” he offered while he stepped forward to where you were standing but Felicia simply chuckled ironically.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about Spidey” she spat at him while she quickly took a defensive stand and let her heels on the floor, she was ready to fight.

But Peter wanted nothing of the sort.

“We don’t want anyone getting hurt,” he insisted but before he could add something, both Felicia and you spoke.

“Too late for that,” Felicia’s silvery and wobbly voice said at the same time with your wavery and soft voice.

You looked at each other with so much hurt in your eyes that you wanted to explode into tears right there and then but the anger and the rage were too much. The feeling of betrayal ran through your body like fuel and before you knew it, you were tapping your breacelet and the nanobots began to spread on your arm and before you knew it, you were shooting your repulsors at Felicia.

Felicia, as talented as she was, quickly dodge your shots but soon Peter took out his webs and began to fire them as Felicia tried to avoid both of your attacks on her in your room. You tried not to care as you would blow up a part of your room, simply wanting to catch Felicia before she did something stupid but before you knew it, she was placing the sleeves of her suit. Her claws appearing from one moment to another as she secured the bag across her body and began to perform a serious act of gymnastics while she tried to avoid you.

Peter managed to get one of Felicia’s ankle’s as she finished performing a backflip to dodge one of your repulsors shots but when she fell onto the floor, she swiftly glanced down at the web and cut it with her nails before she was avoiding your hits too, in one second you fire your window, destroying part of your room and also allowing the cold wind of November to hit you, but Felicia smirked at your mistake.

“Don’t go Felicia”, you growled at her but she simply glanced at you with red eyes.

Before you knew it, she was taking the repulsor out of her bag, the gauntlet where Harley and Tony had decided to place the repulsor for more standard trials on her hand. She placed it on hers and before you knew it, she was pointing at you.

You weren’t wearing your full suit at the moment, simply your arms but Felicia just closed your eyes and looked away, then she fired at you. Peter realized it and quickly tried to grab you so he could avoid you getting blown up but he was too late, your fingers brushing before the explosion sent you off to different parts of the room. Your body hit the wall, hard, you felt your head bouncing against it and then you fell onto the floor that was filled with debris and broken glass.

Your vision turned blurry and the last thing you remembered was Felicia watching you from the window before she quickly jumped out, then everything turned black.

***

taglist: @spideylovin @fandomtrash100 @soullessbabee @liljennyx3

***

i’m so sorry for the delay and like for the typos you might find in this chapter bUT IT’S FINALLY UP AND WE HAVE ONLY TWO CHAPTERS LEFT. I had to cut this chapter so I could make the next one a bit longer and this one shorter, next one we are getting a reveal and also tears and post break up glow. 

Last chapter didn’t got any reblogs or notes but it was okay because it allowed me to take my time to write this one and part of the next one. Although Im really excited to see what are your thoughts about the smut with Felicia and Felicia in general. Only one of you saw it coming I think hehe. But i’m really happy about the fact that we only have to chapters left. I love to hear your theories. and i’m always really happy that you are enjoying this with me and i hope you are happy with this chapter, either if you are team felicia or team peter.

as always, the new sneek peak for the next chapter is going to be on. the masterlist if you want to see what’s coming next!

please please please let me know your thoughts and opinions on this chapter and if you have ANY theories or comments I would love to see them!!! I’m already so happy with the love you have given to the last chapters, I really hope you like it!  any feedback is well received and thank you so much!

[outrebanx]

don’t feel (3)

JJ Maybank x female reader

Masterlist

Part one // Part two // — // Part four

Summary: JJ comes to check on you after the disastrous kegger, finding you doing chores in the early hours of the morning

Word count: 1.9k (shorter than the others as its more of a filler chapter)

Warnings: abuse, mentions of abuse, blood, swearing, (nothing else?)

——- I am in no way romanticising abuse if you have any issues with my writing pls message me

A/N: this isnt my best i’m sorry but reading through it i wasn’t sure where to change it, and because its acting as more of a filler it’s not hugely important anyway - but next part should be all fluff i hope so i’m looking forward to writing it :)) // as always feedback is appreciated

“I can explain!” You exclaimed, hands out defensively as your parents stood up from your bed.

Both your mum and dad crossed their arms, the tapping of your mum’s foot being the only noice in the room for a few seconds, “Okay then young lady, explain.” Your mum said expectantly.

“I needed some fresh air, and I knew you were asleep downstairs mum,” you looked at the floor away from her piercing gaze, “so I didn’t want to wake you and left through my window I’m sorry.”

“You ‘went out for some air’ looking like that?” Your dad waved his hand at your outfit and ruined makeup, his eyebrows raised.

“I- um, was wearing this already and I was upset.” You knew your excuse was getting progressively worse, the lies you were telling getting harder and harder to believe, but you still wanted to try.

Without warning your mum’s hand connected with your face, “Don’t lie to us! We’re not stupid.”

You cupped your face in shock, trying to hold back the tears that were already threatening to spill out of your eyes. “I’m sorry, what can I do to make up for it?”

“Stop lying to us for one you little bitch.” Your dad spat at you, grabbing your wrist in an excruciatingly tight grip.

Your mum nodded her agreement, not even caring about the look of pain on your face as your dad began dragging you along towards the bathroom.

“Get cleaned up and then go and clean the pool.”

“But its the middle of the night-“

“You said you wanted some fresh air didn’t you? At leat you’re being helpful by doing this.” He shoved you into the bathroom, ignoring the way you tripped over your feet and fell, hitting the edge of the sink with your head on the way down.

The door slammed behind you, and just like that, the floodgates seemed to open for what felt like the fiftieth time that night. How do you have enough water left in your body for even more crying?

You lifted your hand up to where it had come into contact with the sink, pulling back when you felt a warm liquid, and even though your vision was blurry from the tears - it was obvious it was blood.

“Shit.” You reached for the sink, pulling yourself up from the floor so you could properly look into the mirror behind it.

Realising you had to fix this up before it got worse, you ran the tap, splashing some cold water on your face to get rid of some of the make up and combat the tears, and went into the cupboard searching for a clean piece of cloth to hold up against the wound.

Standing in front of the mirror, a small towel held up against the cut to stop the bleeding, you examined yourself and the only words that could describe you right now was ‘a fucking mess’.

After several minutes you removed the towel, happy to see that the bleeding had slowed almost completely, and so began clearing the rest of yourself up, starting with removing the make up stains across your whole face. Once you felt and looked less like someone who had been crying for the whole night, you quietly left the bathroom and changed into some leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. You didn’t want to go and do some chores at this time of night but you weren’t going to upset your parents again as they had almost gone easy on you tonight.

Heading downstairs you heard your parent’s bedroom door shut, one of them had probably been waiting to make sure you go outside.

You had never liked the shed where all the pool cleaning stuff was stored, it was something about the spiders that lived in there that had always freaked you out, scared one would fall on you if you moved something. Taking a few deep breaths to try and prepare yourself, you stepped into the small wooden building, sidestepping over a broken spade and grabbed the equipment you needed.

Your pool wasn’t huge like some on this street, but it was still big enough to be a pain in the ass to clean, you threw the equipment on the floor, grabbing a net to remove all the leaves and bugs that had fallen into the water and began the cleaning process.

It took about 10 minutes to remove all the debris, and as you turned your attention to brushing some dirt off the walls, you heard movement behind you. In most situations you would assume this was one of your parents, but for once without a doubt you knew it wasn’t them as you were facing the house and there had been no movement inside.

Your heart was racing, this was like some sort of crime show where you get murdered and left to bleed out in your pool - no you weren’t going to let your thoughts head down that road, it was probably a cat or something, yeah something harmless, you slowly began to convince yourself.

You began to turn around, the brush you were holding close to your chest ready for its debut as a weapon if needed, when your heart leapt out of your skin at the tall figure you were met with.

As you lifted the brush, ready to strike, you realised you knew the figure, his deep blue eyes staring at you, a small smirk playing at his lips.

“What the fuck!” You say, wary you can’t be any louder in case your parents hear, “Did you follow me home or something?”

He held up his hands in surrender, “I didn’t follow you home, but I might’ve asked someone where you lived.”

“That’s not any less creepy JJ if I’m being honest - why did you come to my house?”

“Well I was going to make sure you were okay and maybe play out a rom com situation where I talk to you at your window, but instead it seems to be one of the classic porn scenarios, not that I’m complaining.” He smirked at you.

You roll your eyes in disgust, “Get your head out the gutter. And as you can see I’m fine so please leave.”

“I hear you say fine, but it’s the early hours of the morning and you’re cleaning a pool, as well as some sort of head injury that I can feel by the way, so I’m going with you’re not fine.” He raises his eyebrows at you in question.

Fuck, you’d forgotten about that recent development, annoyed there was now someone you could never hide your pain from, for better or worse.

“I’m cleaning because after my disaster of a night, I couldn’t get to sleep so I thought this would help clear my mind, and its a small cut from where I fell in the bathroom and hit my head because I’m clumsy. That good enough for you?” You were almost proud of how easily you could lie to people, but in fairness you had fell in the bathroom so that one wasn’t exactly a lie, more of an omission of the whole truth.

JJ nodded to himself, “We’re gonna have to talk about it at some point.”

“Talk about what?” You asked, worried he might’ve not believed what you’d said and was making theories about your home life.

“The soulmate thing.”

“Oh,” you breathed out, “yeah probably, although there’s not much to say.”

He let out a small chuckle, “Well this is going to be harder than I thought, you’re not one for being emotional and open are you?”

“Not really no,” you couldn’t help but laugh a little at yourself, “but I understand we might need to get to know each other now.”

“Great.” He stepped towards you, smiling, “Should we start now?”

“We’ve already clarified I’m cleaning a pool, do you need your eyes checked or something?”

He raised his eyebrows at the way your words dripped with sarcasm, “I think my eyes are fine baby, I guess we’ll have to reschedule to tomorrow then.”

“I guess we do.” You respond, trying to ignore the way your stomach fluttered when he called you baby, especially because he was clearly trying to get a rise out of you.

“Alright, can you surf?”

“How will that help us to get to know each other?”

“You learn a lot surfing with someone, and it means we spend most of the day together - so can you surf?”

You consider telling him that you couldn’t, but you were actually pretty good and this could be an opportunity to show him up - and because he was your soulmate you really did want to get to know him, you were just too stubborn to admit it at the moment.

“Yeah I can blondie, hope you’re ready to be put to shame.” You laughed.

“Oh I cant wait,” he smiled at you, “I’ll meet you at the beach at ten?”

“Ten’s good for me, and hey maybe we’ll both actually sleep before then.”

“Alright,” he looked like he wanted to step closer to you but instead settled on a small wave, “I’ll see you then.”

He gave you one last smile before turning away and heading back out of your garden, and as you watched him leave and thought about your “date” tomorrow your heart quickened.

——

As JJ walked away from you he smiled to himself, he had never met someone like you - anyone he’d ever been with he either hadn’t got to know or they didn’t excite him in the way he wanted. The only person he’d ever considered to date was Kie as she knew some of the darkest things about him and stayed around and she joked around with him nicely, but he realised pretty quickly that she was better to have as a friend.

He’d only ever seen you a few times, and in the past week or so at that, but he was loving every minute he spent with you - your fiery attitude and sarcasm seemed to compliment his personality pretty well. And god when you laughed, he felt like there was nothing bad in the world and he wanted to do everything in his power to make you laugh, hopefully brightening your day and definitely making his day better.

There was one thing that he was worried about though, which was you seemed to be injured as often as he was, and you definitely weren’t going to be open about in the same way he hated talking about his dad. What if your family life wasn’t great either? If that was the case, it’d be hard for either of you to heal in the way you wanted with reminders of other people hurting someone you loved.

Loved. He couldn’t believe he was already thinking about that when he barely knew you and was terrified of love and the thought that people wouldn’t love him back. But he’d be an idiot if he let this opportunity pass him by self sabotaging the relationship.

So, with a slight spring in his step at the thought of your date tomorrow, he walked to the chateau, keeping the image of you laughing at the front of his mind.

tag list: @outerbongs @jjaybank @bailspogue @outerbankslut @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @alexa-playafricabytoto @teamnick @k-k0129 @do-not-talk-to-me-i-am-awkward @thoughtsofthestars @http-cherries @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @thesurfingsnail @lonely-kermit @oopsiedoopsie23 @overly-b @lus-shh @xlittlemissydjx @asaks6082 @copper-boom @danicarosaline @deathcompass @jellyfishbeansontoast @butterfliesinthenightsky @iamaunicorn4704 @my-soul-is-the-moon @diverrdown @thorsangel​ @saintkore​ @prejudic3​ @ponyboys-sunsets​ @starrystarkey93​ @teenwaywardasgardian​ @celestialmaybank​ @kaylinfayezink​ @pixelated-pogues​ @otrbnks​ (i think this is everyone pls tell me if i missed you cos i’m dumb)

[raschuuuu]

WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME BACK? // M.YG angst (Suga)

Summary: You finally had your debut with your girl group with Big Hit entertainment. That was your absolute biggest dream but what happens when you have to decide now? Do you want to live your idol life and let the love of your life go for it? Or do you decide for the life of your life?

Word count: 5k

Genre: angst

warnings: established relationship / swearing / soft yoongi / mentioning of breakups / mentioning of suicide/death

Pairing: Yoongi!idol x female idol!reader

A/N: Hello guuuuys! Today I hope very much that you will like this one here! I didn't get any requests so I want to say it again one more time: FEEL FREE TO SEND ME YOUR REQUESTS!!! 😟🥺It’s my second fanfic on this blog I worked very hard on it so I really really hope you guys will enjoy it. If you guys think I could do anything better or you have another preferences please let me know. I’d be very happy if you guys leave a like so I know you read it and liked it. Another note: English is not my first language I’m very sorry if you guys find any mistakes.. 💔

_____________________________________________________________________________

5th December 2020

What could be better than having a debut just before the year ends? My group and I were supposed to have our debut much earlier but that was  postponed due to the COVID pandemic so it was complicated to have a debut this year but nevertheless our company managed to give us a debut before the year ends and I really have to say it's the best thing that could ever happen to me!

My dream has finally come true. How long was I a trainee? Exactly. Six years. Six freaking years I was hidden behind the scenes of my big and famous company. It feels really shitty to be in the shadow of two famous groups in South Korea. Don't get me wrong I'm a really big fan of BTS and TXT but we got tired of being told that we're going to make our debut but at the end we didn’t. I know the guys from BTS and TXT  personally and we all get along super well even the other members of my group. But to be honest BTS and TXT couldn't wait for our debut to happen and finally it's here (y/g/n) finally gets the recognition.

31st December 2020

Of course our lives have changed dramatically since we made our debut. Of course it's much harder to go out alone now than before. Before I was a nobody. No one knew me but now I don't even dare to go alone to the convenient store that is just around the corner of our dorm. You might think I'm exaggerating a bit but no, unfortunately it's the truth. Nevertheless, I don't want to spoil my idol life. After our debut we had a lot of promotions and interviews. But even before that we didn't have much time because we had to shoot our music video and photo shoots and we were all sent to the hairdresser because our old look was officially bye bye. I’m happy with my new look I think I look so beautiful I can't believe what a haircut and a nice makeup can do to a person.

Today is the 31st of December. New Year's Eve! New year takes place in less than 24 hours! Where am I? I'm at this year's MBC Gayo DaeJeon. My first new year's eve without my family and officially my first new year's eve as an idol. I'm so excited I can't believe it I'm going to be on stage with my girls and I'm meeting other idols how exciting is that. I'm sitting in the makeup room getting my makeup done by our makeup artist and on the side our hairstylist is making me a high ponytail. I hope I'll look good. Dabi, the oldest of our group and therefore our Unni, has just finished and looks adorable. Miso sits to my left and is also getting her make-up and hair done. Hyemi is getting ready after me because she doesn't take up much time. She has the shortest hair of all of us. I’m sitting with my mobile phone in my hand and texting with my mother. Sometimes I wish I could be with her and with my father and my siblings. I miss them all like hell. I haven't seen them since before our debut. I can't wait to hold them all in my arms next time.

(eomma):

y/n we miss you! New year's eve isn't the same without you but hopefully you'll have fun on stage today. We'll all be watching you! Your dad and I your grandparents and your siblings so don't worry we're always with you! Good luck my child fighting! 🎉🎆

I notice how i get tears in my eyes but no I mustn't cry my makeup gets ruined. Just as I want to answer my mother i get a new text on my phone.

(yoongi):

I'm excited to see you tonight! You'll be great I believe in you.

By the way... I guess I didn't tell you that I'm dating Min Yoongi. That's right, Min Yoongi.

flashback

2014

"Y/n! We're about to meet BTS!" says Hyemi as I just walked into the dance practice room. What BTS? The group that made their debut last year? "Really why?" I ask looking at her confused. Apparently all new trainee male or female, are introduced to BTS because they want to give us some nice words and encouragement on our way as trainees. Just as I was about to sit down, the seven men came in the door. One after the other, they passed us by. Wow, these guys can count themselves lucky that their time is up. But one boy in particular stands out to me. He has red hair. Not too light and not too dark, a red that almost goes brown. He is beautiful.

I haven't really informed myself about who BTS is, of course I still have difficulties to remember their names, I just became a trainee before I didn't care who was a trainee here... but this man is beautiful!

Oh crap he looks at me. Why is he looking at me. Someone tell him to look the other way please I’m so awkward I don't know how to act when someone looks at me I better look the other way. The leader said some nice words to us they all wished us luck and said that they can't wait for us to make our debut and that when the day comes they're all gonna be happy and supportive! Really nice of them I never thought that they would do something like that. We all got up and bowed and said thank you, while BTS was about to walk out I saw the red haired boy looking at me one last time before he went out. Crazy man do I have something on my face stop staring!

2015

I started to get to know them better each and every one of them. I get along best with Hoseok and Taehyung. Every now and then we run into each other in the building and talk for a few minutes. We trainees also got to meet all the guys in person, they are all so nice and down to earth I don't regret it one bit that I joined this company! Jungkook is about my age and every now and then we have a few laughs together. Once you are in the company you are like one big family whether it is with the trainees or the staff. However I have not been able to get close to one person and that is Min Yoongi. I don't know what it is but every time he and I are in a room with other people it just gets awkward. I don't know what it is but every time he is near me I feel intimidated and just want to get out of there. We've never spoken a word to be honest maybe it's because he feels awkward around me too? I can't understand why he feels this way I always try to get along with everyone even if i don't want to and make everyone feel comfortable around me because I want it to be mutual. So what's his problem?

2016

I have heard from his members that he has a crush on me and gets shy around me which I totally don't understand because how can anyone be into me? Especially back then! I don't want to go into too much detail but I can tell you that after a while and with the help of Hoseok and Taehyung he and I started texting at some point. We had been friends for a long time but only online. We were both too nervous to meet in person and to be honest that had been impossible because he was busy as fuck and no one was supposed to find out that we were texting. BTS recognition grew more and more each year and he became busier and busier each day. I was of course very happy for everyone and one rainy day in the evening Yoongi appeared out of nowhere on my doorstep and confessed his love to me. I am still overwhelmed by it and it all feels so unreal and like it just happened yesterday, but I went for it and agreed to be his girlfriend.

back to December 31st 2020

For four years we have been hiding our relationship. Nobody knows about it the whole Big Hit staff doesn't know about it and neither do our managers the only ones who know about it are his members and recently my members. I didn't want to tell them until we made our debut together because I was too scared of being told off during my trainee time. But I have to say that the girls stand behind me and accept our relationship and they all swore they would take it to the grave with them.

I quickly turn down the brightness of my screen because there's too much danger of my hairstylist and makeup artist reading the text. I close my phone and put it on my lap. How much I want to answer him but I don't dare I can't answer him when there are too many people around me. After a while we were called and it was finally our turn I'm so nervous but we managed it all with flying colors and we were the topic of the evening.

In a few minutes it's already new year I'm ready and let 2021 come to me. At midnight Yoongi calls me and I answer the phone with joy.

"Happy new year y/n! I love you and I hope we will spend more time together this year even though it will be harder now." I smile to myself and say "Happy new year Yoongi... how is your shoulder? Are you resting enough? Are you eating enough? Are you sleeping enough? Are you in pain? If you are in pain then take a painkiller and go back to the doctor!" I can't see it but I can tell he is grinning and shaking his head. I don't let him get a word in edgewise.

"Don't worry I’m fine I just miss you you're the only painkiller I can take" - "Hahaha yah! You're so corny! I miss you too sweetheart I wish we had spent this new year together... I’m sorry it turned out like this!" I feel really bad because I know he won't be able to spend new year with his boys or me... To be honest we have never had a new year together except on the phone but this time it could have worked out! He is at home with his injury and if we wouldn't have had our debut then we would have had a first new year together after four years of relationship!

January 10th 2021

At the beginning of the new year our manager gave us our schedule plan at it looked hella busy! This whole January we would be completely busy we don't even have one weekend off! I can’t believe it how will I able to see my family or even Yoongi? I saw him at the first weekend of January we spent it together at his family’s house in Daegu behause to be honest that is actually the only place that we can go to a little far away from Seoul without having to worry that any of the staff could know or see us. My family also knows and loves him to death but with my family living in Seoul it’s complicated to take him there. Our manager left the room and I looked at Dabi with the ‘You and I bathroom NOW!’ look she understood and got up from her place and she followed me to the bathroom. We checked if any other person was inside when there wasn’t I said “What the fuck I’m I gonna do now Unni? How am I able to see Yoongi? How will I be able to even go out. I won’t even have time to take the fucking trash out from our dorm when it’s my turn to clean!” I yell. She stands there giving me a confused look. “What do you expect y/n? You chose to have this idol life you know its busy and complicated to have a boyfriend especially as a fresh debuted idol! Why do you think they won't let us have a relationship? I wish I could help you but I can’t. We’re gonna be busy as fuck!” she yelled back. “Psh shut your volume down unni!” she opened the door to see if there was anyone outside but there wasn’t.

I feel bad I really do. I don't want my members to be in trouble because of me that's the last thing I want. I hug her and apologize to her. I have to think of something I don't know what to do. I don't want us to be away from each other for too long what happens when he stops loving me all of a sudden? What do I do when he goes back to work then it will all be worse! Before I became an idol we could always see each other at the end of the day but now it will be impossible. I have to talk to him about it because one thing we promised each other is that we talk about everything because that's the only way a healthy relationship can work and such a complicated relationship we both have. I take out my phone and write him a message.

(me):

Yoongi. Tonight FaceTime date you and me?

In less than two minutes I already get my answer.

(yoongi):

of course!

evening

I turn on my MacBook and call him on FaceTime. After three rings he answers the phone and turns it off too so he doesn't have to hold it in his hand. He still has his bandage on and his hair is wet he must have been in the shower. He wears cute pyjamas and fight me or not but black haired Yoongi is the most beautiful Yoongi. I always fall in love again when I see him. Hard to believe we were so awkward with each other back then but this year is already approaching 5 years together. I could never imagine my life without him. 

"Hey my darling" he says happily and smiles at me. I smile back and ask him how he is. He tells me that he is getting better every day and that during his time off he has found a lot of time for himself and his music and how much he misses the others. And me too, of course. "What's wrong with you?" he asks me when he notices that my mind is somewhere else. I think he took the Facetime date too seriously. He be sitting there with his cup of ramen. I just laugh. "Yoongi... I'm going to be busy all of January and manager oppa said that February might not be any better," I say and wait for his answer. He swallows his noodles and drinks a glass of water. "Does that mean we won't see each other this month?" he asks. I think he's a little disappointed I know him and I know his tones and his looks and I can hear my heart breaking by now. And how much I'd like to see you Yoongi. Every second every day. "No," I say, and then an uncomfortable silence descends. 

“You know what baby it’s fine don't worry. I mean I wasn’t any better back then do you remember when I always used to be so busy? I never had time for you and I felt so bad. But you were there for me and you stayed by my side and you were and still are the most supportive girlfriend I could ever ask for. I think it would be unfair to be mad at you. I’m happy for you forever and always” well that was unexpected. I start getting tears in my eyes. I didn't think of this reaction not at all! I smile at him and say “Thank you baby... I will appreciate it I really do. But still I feel bad because especially in this period where you're sick I wish I could be there for you and take care of you. This debut was so unexpected I’m really sorry” - “Yah don't be sorry y/n. You worked your goddamn fine ass off to be where you're at right now be proud of you this is just the beginning. And it’s not like that we won't see each other ever again right?” he says. He’s right. He’s totally right. It’s not like we won't see each other ever again.

January 17th 2020

Well... seven days passed and we still haven't seen each other and we haven't talked since one week. We text every now and then cause I really only get to use my phone when it's night and we go back home but every night I'm so damn exhausted and tired that I forget to answer to his texts. I don't even have time to text my parents back or my siblings. I feel so bad I'm such a bad person. I miss them all so much. I miss my parents. I miss my sister and my brother. I miss my grandparents. I miss my boyfriend. I miss my boyfriend so damn much. I really didn't think this life is gonna be so hard for me. I feel like I've been put in the middle of a scale with my career on one side and my relationship on the other side and I have to choose one side or the other. I've never thought about breaking up with Yoongi ever in my life. Never. I just can't. I need this man too much. Even though we never have the most beautiful and perfect relationship and see each other very rarely, it's just the thought that I know there's someone in my life who loves me and accepts me for who I am that counts. He took me with my imperfections he put his career what he loves most in his life in risk to be with me and now that we are both in this situation I don't know what to do I feel bad and selfish for even thinking about it I don't want to make him feel like my career is more important than him or our relationship he doesn't deserve that he deserves the world and he deserves to be happy. But I love my career I love my job I love my members I love our staff I love our fans. Our biggest fear was not being accepted by the society outside especially now in this period when BTS is one of the biggest groups in the whole world and have a very big influence in the KPOP industry. We were afraid that society would think that since we are the first girl group to make a Big Hit debut in a very long time that people would think that we would mess with the boys heads or that there would be any rumors started between us and the other groups. But on the contrary people have been happy for us and love our music and us individually. I feel like Hannah Montana I feel like I am living a double life.

20th January 2021

"I know you are overwhelmed with the situation my child, I can imagine that it is very hard for you but you have to know what is best for you. You can't tell anyone from your company, you are a rookie, if they find out you had a boyfriend during your trainee time then it is even worse. I wish I was with you and could help you or just be there for you. I love Yoongi very much but I love you even more and I am happy with any decision you make. Just make the right one" my mother says on the phone. Tears have been flowing since she got on the phone but I don't want to tell her and I try not to sob but I know she can tell by my tone that I am crying. She is right. I have to make a decision. Yoongi is getting better day by day and soon he will be busy too he will go back to his daily routine and the other members. He will have comebacks he will have dance practices he will have to go to the recording studio he will have photo shoots he will do interviews and when the corona situation allows he will have to go to other countries and I have to do the same.

I love him to death and I will never love anyone as much as I love him but I am just not happy like this and you can tell me what you want he is not either but he doesn't let it show. Yesterday on the phone there was such an awkward tension between us it felt like I was making small talk with a stranger. Even though I might be the bad guy but one of us has to make the first move. I have wished and hoped that this day will never come but I have to do it.

23 January 2021

Yoongi told me that he is back in his flat in Seoul with his mother. Unfortunately he still can't travel alone so his dear mum went with him. I missed her too, she's the nicest and sweetest woman ever. When I imagine that I won't see her again either, tears well up in my eyes. But today I have to do it. Who would have thought that our reunion would be like this? Who would have thought that I would break up with him. He won't expect it but I have to do it. I’m cold and sick and I just want to go to bed and get the day over with. It's 11pm at night and we've come home after a long hard day. I look out the window and wait until our manager is out of sight.

My members know about my plans and of course have asked me a million times if I am sure and if there is no other way out. I am very happy that they are worried about me but I also feel bad towards them. I have been hiding it from them all our trainee years and when I told them they were all so good about it and even want me not to do it. But no I will do it I am young and want to concentrate on my career and what is coming up for us.

I told Yoongi that I would come, of course he doesn't want to because it's way too late but I said it was important and that we had to talk about something. When I said we had to talk about something he was quiet and then just said he would wait for me. I put on a hat and a thick jacket and the hood of the jacket and a mask and a scarf and go out into the high snow that has covered Seoul. His flat is not far from mine but still I have to take a taxi. I ask the driver to wait for me because I don't want to stay there long I want to get it over with quickly and go.

(me):

can you come down?

(yoongi):

why don't you come up?

(me):

I think its better when you come down Yoongi I don't want your mom to be worried or hears any of that were gonna talk.

He doesn't text back instead I just see the lights turning on from his window. A few minutes later he comes down. Oh my fucking lord he is so handsome. I want to run up to him and kiss him from head to toe. I want to be in his arms. I want us to go upstairs together and fall asleep together. I want to build a snowman with him. I want to be with him forever I love him he is the love of my life.

He comes up to me and smiles at me. He stands in front of me and we both don't say a word. His smile turns into a confused look he notices something is wrong. "Don't I get a kiss or a hug?" he asks me. My heart breaks into a thousand pieces. I would love to rip your clothes off Min Yoongi.

"I want to break up." Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. "Yoongi say something?" I ask him. He says nothing. He looks at me with a blank look he is sad he is disappointed he is devastated just like me. "Yoongi please?". He does not speak.

"Yoongi, I'm sorry. I-i-I really love you I love you more than anything but I know that I can't give 100% in our relationship now. I just want us to be happy but I see that we are not. It could have been great during your time off but I can't be there for you... sooner or later it should have happened. I want to be with you but I can't anymore it was okay then but it's not okay now we're both famous you're in the biggest boy group in the world if anyone finds out we're together we'll be screwed. Especially me Yoongi. Female idols have it harder than male idols you know that. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and I think this will be the best thing for us I-" he interrupts me.

"How dare you to tell me what's best for me? Do you have any idea what you're talking about y/n? Stop trying to tell me what's best for me when you know you're the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life god damn. I was going through a difficult time in my life and you were the only one who was there for me! And now you're telling me let’s break up because you're afraid people are gonna find out? And that they are gonna blame you? The fuck? Theres always two fucking persons in a relationship y/n! I also wanted that. I wanted you. Don’t you love me anymore? Why don’t you love me anymore? We hid our relationship for four fucking years why can't we hide it now?" he said yelling at me.

 I am shocked and sad I want to die. I don't want to live in this life without Min Yoongi. But I know it's best for us I do it for him and his career too.

"Yes I don't love you anymore" were my last words before I left.

________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: damn y/n!!! did you just break up with the mf min yoongi? you better save your relationship! guys if you want a part two (with maybe a happy ending?) let me know! love you bye 🎀

[contradictions-of-iron-and-lace]

So on my old blog, I would occasionally give my unsolicited thoughts and opinions on shows or movies (usually ones that either had a lot of hype or were just straight up bad). I just watched "365 Dni" aka "365 Days" because I had a couple hours to kill so be prepared for mental spewage because it's my blog and I do what I want.

Wait I thought this was a romantic thriller. They're talking about human trafficking. This is already gross.

Michele Morrone is very good looking though and I've been obsessed with his face for the last few weeks.

This whole conversation about these girls getting trafficked is gross.

Yes. Let's be extra pervy during a pervy business meeting and check out the girl on the beach with our binoculars.

Hold up. Why did they get shot?

I don't know what's going on. Freaking Italian mob, man.

This song about being addicted to someone that's playing while people are bleeding out on the ground seems tonally inappropriate.

So far we've seen Italy, San Francisco, and Warsaw. I didn't know we were globetrotting.

And we switched from Italian to Polish to English. Sure.

Yeah. Michele Morrone could get it. Also he survived being shot.

Is that the same girl from the beach? Probably. Why not.

They do a lot of spinning shots and it's making me dizzy.

So far this is a very expensive foreign Lifetime movie.

Yes. Because everyone takes boob shots in the back of their Uber while sober.

Homegirl's boyfriend looks like they picked him out of a burly henchman catalogue.

Yup. Michele Morrone is stupid hot. Even just sitting down he's hot.

Oh good. We've transitioned from potential human trafficking to cocaine.

Well damn. This is fairly explicit for a "mainstream" film.

Cool. I share a name with the female lead.

Still don't know the male lead's name yet.

Everybody in this movie is either stupid hot or stupid ugly. There is no middle ground.

Yes, Michele. Creeping up on this girl on a darkly lit path saying "Are you lost, little girl?" is definitely going to win you all the points.

I don't understand why writers insist on putting powerful women with schlubby dudes. It's tired and cliched and inevitably leads to annoying arguments.

Yes. Let's wander around Sicily at night all alone. That's totally safe.

And my point is proven.

I hope if I ever get kidnapped and holed up in some random ass castle in Sicily my makeup looks as good as Laura's.

So this just turned into a horror movie.

Called it about Laura being the girl on the beach.

Yeah, that's not creepy at all, dude. Let's obsess over a girl we might have hallucinated for five years and then kidnap her and give her a year to fall in love with you. Solid plan.

This is literally making my skin crawl.

Ah yes. "I won't do anything without your permission" he says as he literally grabs and sexually assaults her.

So basically this is trying to be "erotic thriller, Beauty and the Beast style".

Her pulling a gun on him has been the best thing so far.

I'm so confuuuuuused.

That's nothing new though. I live in a state of perpetual confusion.

Why the hell is there a man chained to a rock in this dude's basement.

I have many concerns.

Also his name is Massimo so that's good to know.

Besides the man chained in his basement his house is pretty cool.

Just kidding the man is no longer chained in the basement since he now has a bullet in his head.

I'm only 30 minutes in and this has been a wild ride.

"I'm not a bag of potatoes you can move without my permission!" is very Polish and as somebody who's family is Polish I'm living for it.

I'm going to need him to stop laying hands on her.

Whoever chose the music made some odd choices.

He keeps watching her sleep and it's creepy.

And there he goes grabbing her again.

I do like that she's giving him a lot of attitude and isn't putting up with his shit but you know that's going to change 🙄

Yes. Go spend all his money, honey.

He is disrespectful as hell.

I don't care how hot he is, he's creepy and abusive and I don't like it.

"I am not the monster you think I am." You would be incorrect, my dude.

Like, she went on vacation with her boyfriend and friends, and I can't for the life of me figure out why they aren't looking for her unless they explained it and I missed it.

Pierogi. The most romantic of Polish foods.

"I do business." He's a drug trafficker, honey. Run away. Run far, far away.

Honestly I would turn this off if I wasn't so far in it already.

I feel like I have to see this trainwreck through to the end.

"I would like you to show me how to be gentle for you" would be more appealing if HE LITERALLY HAD NOT KIDNAPPED, ABUSED, AND ASSAULTED HER.

Ew. Did he sneak in her bed while she slept?

One good dinner and now she's all "let's gently touch him in bed and take a shower in front of him" 🙄

Why is this bathroom set up like a communal shower? It's weird.

Although to be fair if he hopped in the shower with me I'd check him out too 🤷

They tied her to the seat in the plane. What the hell.

I'm so uncomfortable.

Ugh. Why. Why is this a thing.

So far this has been creepier than 50 Shades and 50 Shades is creepy as hell.

Hold on. I thought they were at a hotel. Why does he have a giant ass portrait of himself hanging up in his room?

I. Am. Uncomfortable.

Oh man. He has a nice butt.

Don't get distracted by the pretty man, Laura.

Onscreen Laura too.

He asked her to teach him how to be gentle, then handcuffs her to the bed and makes her watch while he hooks up with another woman.

Yup. Doing a great job there, Massimo.

Cool I'm back to being confused.

She can't walk in her heels and I'm dying laughing. Same, girl, same.

"What are you wearing?" "A couple thousand euro of yours." GET HIM.

Now we've entered the Scarface phase of the movie because there was just a copious amount of cocaine snorted.

Where did he pull two guns from??

So I don't know how long she's been with him at this point. I feel like that's something that needs to be clarified.

And she fell off the boat.

Of course she did.

Oh man. Why's he gotta be so cute with his fluffy curls and stubble and tattoos?

Also I'm pretty sure he only owns like two shirts because he's walked around shirtless for most of this movie.

We are now in the part of the movie where we've screamed awful things at each other and now we're going to bone it out.

All over the boat. Like every surface of the boat they have now banged on.

If y'all were dissatisfied with the raunchiness of the 50 Shades series, this is the movie for you because it far surpasses that.

Of course they're going to a ball. They always do in these rich people movies.

Makeover montage because why not.

Oh no. He's hot in a tux.

It always cracks me up in movies when people just automatically know how to ballroom dance like professionals without any training.

Every time I think this movie can't get more cliched, it does.

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I subject myself to bad movies?

I take it back. I know why I did it this time. The reason is 6'2" and looks damn good in a button up shirt.

"I thought you were kidnapped!" She was. You were a good friend for thinking that.

The switching between languages is giving me whiplash. It's very jarring going from Italian to Polish to English to Polish to Italian.

Her friend seeing through her bullshit is giving me life.

Also loving the fact that she's acknowledging she has Stockholm Syndrome. But because it's a movie it won't change anything.

Another makeover montage? So soon?

Also her friend keeps calling Massimo Mozzarella and it's hilarious.

That wig looks like it's about to crawl off her head.

Of course the ex shows up.

Honestly just knee him in the nuts and be done with it.

Why does Massimo think it's okay to break into her apartment and wait in the dark for her?

I don't know who thought using a blue light for her apartment was a good idea but it just looks like they're in a giant tanning booth.

"I don't need 365 days... Because I love you." GIRL NO.

I mean it was inevitable but it's still gross.

Yup. That's normal. Let's marry our kidnapper.

I want to snatch that wig off her head.

"What are your intentions with our daughter?" You don't want to know what his intentions are with your daughter, sir.

I will say that I love all her clothes in this movie.

Also she's pregnant. Calling it right now.

Called it.

Also good to know they've only known each other two months and they're going to get married and have a baby 👀

Her best friend is my favorite character and is the only likeable person in this whole movie.

Plot twist. Shocker.

This is so dramatic.

I will give them credit for the ending because that was unexpected.

In summary, this movie is trash and while the "love" scenes are pretty hot, it's not worth the time or effort that I clearly put into this.

[statticscribbles]

Wind Chimes Pt 2

Summary: Sweet Pea/Reader Request: A Part two of Wind Chimes, TW: Abuse, Discussions of Abuse

You don’t mean to spend the night over in Sweet Pea’s, but its almost morning anyways theres no point in going back to get yelled at more. FP doesn’t push you instead asking how your mom’s been doing explaining how shed stopped showing up to meetings, you in return explained how she wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without Micheal, and since he wasn’t a serpent he couldn’t go. You try your best not to make a mess or bother sweet pea, opting to stay on the couch once FP leaves; after assuring you he’ll talk with your mom. You fall asleep and wake up in the bed, sitting up and looking around the room has you identifying the suddenly odd shaped couch as having Sweet Pea sleeping on it.

You manage to sneak out, after leaving a note letting Sweet Pea know you’ve just gone home. Your mothers making breakfast when you open the door, she turns cheerfully and offers you a plate, you claim you’ve already eaten as her boyfriend emerges. You can tell he’s looking at you when the content look drops off his face. “The kids back, you been slumming it with those snakes again? you know you’ll just end up knocked up and alone if you try to get with them. you know they wouldn’t want you as one of them right?” you don’t say anything just bow your head slightly; evidentially he wanted a verbal answer with how he shoves you, repeating himself.

“i know, they wouldn’t want me anyways. You don’t have to worry about me Micheal” you mimic whatever you think he wants to hear, relieved when he nods and gestures to the door. “I’m not worried for you. Hanging out with gang members is putting stress on your mother and i, how’re we supposed to get anything done with you running off with who knows doing god knows what kinds of drugs and going to parties. well go on I’m sure they’re waiting to bring you to school, if they even go of course.” you bite your lip to avoid saying anything as you start to walk to school.

“Need a lift y/n?” you nod as sweet pea pulls to a stop beside you, he offers you his helmet and waits till you nod to start his bike again. You feign a little more fear than necessary during the ride as an excuse to cling to him more. You worry you’re being clingy and annoying but Sweet Pea just smiles and tucks his keys into his pocket. “Your helmet!” you start to tug it off and he waits as you hover it out towards him. “Keep it, i’ll give you a lift later.” “What about fangs?” you question, confused when he pulls up in a car with Toni and a few other serpents. “Oh so thats why you wanted to take your bike, showing off like that is no way to impress a lady, you need to buy her dinner.” Toni laughs and Sweet Pea glares. “Shut it.” he smacks fangs on the shoulder and you jump.

“Sorry, fuck I’m sorry.” he speaks before you can react fluttering around you, the rest of the serpents watching curiously. “You not a fan of violence then?” Fangs asks and you blink out of your momentary stupor to shake your head. “I don’t mind just brought back some uncomfortable memories.” they nod leaving you and Sweet Pea alone. “Memories?” “It happened in the past, that means its a memory.” you counter and he smiles a tiny bit before looking serious as he looks you in the eyes. “I’m really sorry about that babe I didn’t even think about it freaking you out, I really am sorry.” Sweet Pea hangs his head. “Babe?” You question. “Yes?” “No I was asking why you called me babe.” “Oh. Cause I can; I can stop if you want.” You know you’re probably blushing. “No you don’t have to, its nice.” you smile and nod to him and then towards the school. “We should get to class.” He nods repeating what you said and following you, staring at the ground.

“You only like him because he can protect you. You don’t know the first thing about him” Micheal starts the minute he gets home, you know he saw you riding on the back of sweet peas bike. “I bet the first chance he gets, the minute he gets you alone he’ll hit you.” “Like you?” you cover your mouth but know its no use; Micheal stalks forward face blank as he curls his fist.

You try your best to cover the black eye with a mixture of your hair and makeup, its still visible, but looks healed by a few days, all you have to do is lie about the pain and no one should bother you. Micheal seems almost proud at the disgust on your mother’s face when she catches sight of you; you hope its disgust at what he’d done, not at you. You shake the thought from your head trying your best to not to let Micheal’s verbal attacks wear you down more. “I’m going for a walk.” You say mostly to the carpet as you take your keys and step three doors down.

“Hey y/n whats up?” You don’t respond stumbling forward trying to avoid touching your hair. “What happened y/n” You know sweet pea knows, you can hear the concern lacing his voice and when he cautiously tugs your arm you fold into him crying off the makeup you’d spent hours on.

Micheal learns from what he calls his mistake, you learn to keep any comments to yourself and he learns its much better to hit you in places you wont show anyone; of course since he thinks you’re sleeping around he concludes at least there will be bad lighting to hide it.

“Come on kid, no one actually wants to look at your face when they fuck you, they wont notice the bruises anyways. Suck it up; if you’re going to end up as the plaything for the serpents like your mother was the least you can do is take a hit without crying about it.”

Your excuse is you’re taking a shower, you shove you school bag full of as many clothes as you can, unsure of when you’ll be back. You’re thankful you don’t have to go far, sliding out your window and knocking three doors down. “Hey, study session right?” You know other people are here right now with how his hands grip the door. You hate that sweet pea got dragged into this, he can’t even spend time with his friends without you interrupting. You offer a slight nod.

“I can come back if you’re busy.” “Is that y/n? Tell her to come in; I need to talk to her.” You cringe at FP’s voice and follow Sweet Pea. “Hey Mr. Jones.” “I’ve told you its FP; now-“ “Actually before we talk, I wanted to ask; can I join the serpents?” You blurt out trying your best to avoid looking him in the eye. “Well great minds think alike, Sweet Pea and I were just talking about it. We both think it would be best, just for added security. Well I do anyways.” “You don’t want me join?” you frown at Sweet Pea who shakes his head.

“No i just, its complicated, we can talk later..” He nods to FP who laughs. “I know when I’m not wanted, see you two at your trials; Sweet Pea, no cheating to help her okay..” Sweet Pea nods and you turn to him nerves building. “Listen I get I’m a burden and a nuisance right now, but if I join the serpents I don’t have to shadow you all the time so you can get your life back. I get I don’t offer anything of value to the- Sweet Pea?” You break from your rant to watch him frown.

“You’re not a burden, or a bother or a nuisance or any other thing like that. Im spending my time helping you because I like you, because I want to protect you, I want to help you. I’m going out of my way, sure, but its worth it knowing you’re safe.” He sighs. “Let me put it this way, if I have to sleep on the couch every night, just so I know you’re not sleeping in the same place as that asshole, I’m more than happy to do that.” “we can just share the bed, or i can take the cou-” You shrug half heartily pausing at his scowl. “-sharing the bed it is then.” You smile at him setting your bag down. “Oh here, I cleared out a drawer for you, well its mostly Fangs’ and Toni’s things, they used to stay here a lot.”

It becomes normal, a relief to return to Sweet Pea’s everyday. You’re an official Serpent; Sweet Pea insisting that you’re the best recruit they’ve ever had. The Serpents themselves seem relieved, and a few of the older ones ask about your mom, you give what updates you can, she seemed to be doing better although Micheal still came around too often for you to want to go home.

“I’m sorry please don’t-“ You don’t finish the sentence ducking down to pull the plate fragments from the carpets, nervous when Sweet Pea stops you. “Hey y/n, it’s okay sweetheart, it’s fine.” “You’re not going to hurt me?” You cringe as you calm down from the panic, he’s staring at you. “No y/n, I’m not going to hurt you, I’d never hurt someone I love.” You nod nervously still holding the plate shards and he pulls the trashcan over. “There, all clean, hey wait don’t step there you could hurt yourself.” Sweet Pea says, lifting you up and swivelling to place you down in a plate free area. He finishes cleaning up returning from dumping the trashcan outside. “Whats wrong Y/N?”

“Hm? oh, nothing, I love you too.” You try your best to sound nonchalant but cant help the smile when his face pinks. “You love me; wait too? Did I- dammit, I was saving that for a more romantic moment.” “Picking up a plate is plenty romantic.” You counter and he smiles nodding to the bed where you curl up next to him. “ So Y/N, would you like to be my girlfriend then?” “Yes please.” “You don’t need to say please I asked you.”

“It’s polite, you need to learn manners.” You laugh and he shakes his head. “i have manners, it’s just silly of you to ask if you can be my girlfriend when I already asked you to date me.” You blink shaking your head. “That doesn’t make sense, dating doesn’t mean we’re boyfriend and girlfriend.” “It does to me” Sweet Pea nods to you. “Same goes but-“ “Then theres no buts, were dating and boyfriend and girlfriend that’s how it works.” “Not always.” You counter and he laughs. “Of course, but for us it does.” You fall asleep in Sweet Pea’s arms and when you wake in the middle of the night he’s still next to you, you turn slightly curling into his arms as he half wakes up. “What’s wrong?” He mumbles still half asleep. “It’s quiet.” You shrug a little and he presses a kiss against your cheek. “Go back to sleep babe, it’s too early.” You nod settling down but jump bumping into his arms as you hear a sound outside the door. “Y/N, it’s okay sweetheart, just the wind.” He nuzzles into your hair pulling the blanket closer.

Support My Writing?

[letsperaltiago]

right next to the right one

Nothing special but here is a small, 100% fluff moment from very early Peraltiago. I imagined it taking place somewhere in between ‘New Captain’ and ‘The funeral’. Enjoy 💕

Read on AO3

It’s their first night together – or, more like, the first night they go to bed together without ripping each other’s clothes off in the heat and heaviness caused by four drinks.

They’re at Amy’s place this time. Jake is nervously fiddling around her bedroom trying to get ready for bed without interrupting or getting in the way of whatever punctual night routine Amy Santiago must have. They did just have their first date a few days ago, and maybe there are a lot of sides to her that he hasn’t met yet; although it doesn’t take a genius to know that surely Amy has some kind of step-by-step pattern she walks through before heading to bed.

Or that’s what he thinks. Suddenly she reemerges from the bathroom, only five minutes after first leaving the bedroom, and looks completely calm and ready for bed. Not freaked out because she’s running behind schedule or missing steps. No kind of ritual seems to be playing out and Jake has to admit to himself: he’s slightly confused.

“That was fast?” Jake quizzes from where he’s standing by the foot of her bed still dressed like he’s about to leave and Amy frowns. Both because of the statement, which sounds more like a question, but also because she thought he too would be ready for bed by now.

“You sound confused? I just removed my makeup and brushed my teeth – it doesn’t take that long.” She cocks her eyebrows telling him that no, not all women spend an hour in the bathroom… Jake feels bad for questioning her, and all women out there, but is quickly interrupted by her picking up on him being far from ready for bed.

“But why are you still dressed? Get in bed, silly!” She chuckles and gets into bed on what he assumes is her usual side. He secretly hopes that one day the other side will become his. Too soon, he thinks and shakes it off. One step at a time.

Jake contemplates whether or not he should explain himself but quickly figures that it doesn’t matter. Her lack of strict routine just tells him that she’s relaxed in her own home, around him, and that he likes - a lot. Also, Amy looks really cute in nothing but an oversized NYPD-shirt and panties.

“Oh, yeah sorry. Just didn’t know where to put my stuff and I didn’t want to like…” he shuffles nervously to the free side of the bed, probably looking stupid, and he hates that he’s so nervous. By no means does he want her to notice; maybe think she’s the one making him nervous. Actually he just likes her so stupid much that he’d rather stand there and look stupid than mess up her room or do something else that’ll give him away; do something that’ll let her know he isn’t the one for her. “… I didn’t want to Jake up your room.”

She’s just gotten under the covers, sitting against the headboard with her current book in her lap, but seems to forget about it and suddenly freeze on the spot with her eyes on him. Not in an accusing way or with an expression that lets him know he needs to leave; rather a look of warmth and appreciation… Maybe even a hint of amusement. Then she crawls across the bed to his side and stands on her knees.

“Jake…” she grabs him by the hoodie and pulls him in so that he stands as close to her as the edge of the bed will allow. Everything she says comes out with a special warmth radiating from her lips and eyes, something he’s only ever seen in her. “I appreciate the thought, but… You’ve already Jake’d up my life so a little Jake’ing up my bedroom won’t hurt me. Okay?”

The way the words fall from her lips, full of calmness and serenity, has him pacified without delay. The soft peck to his lips radiates a welcoming feeling Jake can’t deny. Confidence slowly seeps back into him, and he finally feels as if he can answer her searching, soft brown eyes.

“Okay,” he’s finally able to let down his shoulders, his overall guard, and return her smile with a matching radiation of serenity and calmness.

It’s so stupid how much he likes her, he thinks. It partially scares him although never enough to chase him away. Before he even has the time to realize it, as if it’s second nature to him, he rids himself of his clothes. Few minutes later his outfit is, somewhat, neatly hanging on a chair nearby. He smiles sheepishly and Amy chuckles, nodding in approval: perhaps he’s not too bad at this after all, he thinks and falls into Amy Santiago’s bed.

Everything is so brand new to the both of them yet quickly falls into a rhythm that feels normal: everything from Amy reading her book by his side to the way the Jake’s late night cartoon’s flicker in the background without bothering her.

Amy feels it too. The normality of the new them. For the past few days they’ve been together, Amy’s already wondered many times: how? She puts down her book and lies down on her side to get a better look at his side profile.

She can’t tell if the cartoons that deserve credit for calming him down, causing him to zone out of reality, but Amy enjoys this side of Jake. The Jake that is just… there. With her.

She wonders, after going through what they both went through to get to each other, how she got so lucky? Suddenly, very out of nowhere, she finds herself fully focused on the mand beside her and something feels just a tad different. All night she’d felt so nonchalant, so easy going about him being around, that it didn’t occur to her just how lucky she is and now she can’t stop wondering, over and over, how? How is he here after all their ups and down, exes, friend zones and whatnot?  

“Hey.”

It falls out of her before she can comprehend it or try to stop it, and as soon as his head calmly turns to look at her Amy knows she has to carry through with this. The shifting colorful light from the TV casts a warm shadow on the side of his face that is turned away from it, and Amy halts for a second taking in the sight in front of her. The man by her side is so gently, so easily tuned in to her and the flickering lights enhances all of her favorite facial features. Features she can kiss now, whether she believes it or not, and features she gets to run her hands and fingers along if she wishes to.

“Hey,” he answers with a soft smile inviting her to speak her mind, because of all people, Amy Santiago alwayshas an agenda. Jake knows.

In contrast to how ready she felt just seconds ago, she all of the sudden, now that the first word is out and the attention is on her, feels so shy. Probably has furiously blushing cheeks too. Knowing Jake, he’s probably already noticed.

“What’s up?” he tries.

Amy considers not speaking her mind, instead just joke it off like they often do. Most of the time that’s a fine solution… But this moment, for some reason, feels more important. Like it’s not supposed to be brushed off. Amy genuinely has some things on her mind.

“I just,” she cuts herself off nervously biting down on her bottom lip. “I just can’t believe we’re here… Like, together.”

If her blush wasn’t very evident before then it definitely is now, and she has to look away from him just to keep calm. His eyes, especially with the soft look he has right now, all of the sudden seems so overwhelming. In the good way. The scary way too. Just a year ago she would’ve never believed anyone telling her that Jake Peralta would come to make her feel this way.

“I know.” Jake chuckles and Amy dares to look back at him. He’s looking straight ahead again but this time not at the TV, she can tell. He looks deep in thought, smiling, and Amy feels less scared. If the man of a thousand issues is smiling at the thought of them (she hopes) then everything is probably alright.

“Like even after everything that’s come between us, constantly demotivating the process like… wrong timing, being undercover, Sophia, Teddy…” she trails off realizing just how many odds have been against them for the past two years or so.

He slowly nods in agreement still staring into air with a small smile on his face as if he’s seeing something she isn’t.

“Yeah… To me, the whole thing with Teddy was never that demotivating though. On the contrary.”

Amy’s eyebrows dip into a confused frown.

“Really.” Jake finally turns his head to look at her and the flickering lights make him look that more handsome, like in a movie scene, all over again. She loves when he looks at her, even if it’s just been a few days. If Jake was the last person to ever look at her, just like he is right now, she would die happy. Somehow it feels like he’s done it for longer – maybe he has and she just hasn’t noticed?

“This is going to sound super dumb, but every time I saw you with him I was bummed out, yes, but it also made me even more sure: I wanted to be the one to be with you. I wanted all the small moments he got with you… Like siting at Shaw’s making you smile and laugh while drinking beer; competing with you about dumb stuff that only we care about and everyone rolls their eyes at us; picking you up from work – even though we literally sit across from each other, I now realize as I’m saying it out loud.”

They both chuckle in unison but on the inside they both feel their hearts burst with joy at this small confession. Silence, a comfortable one, takes over. Amy sees his face switch to the one he always put on when he’s being serious and genuine. Her heart skips yet another beat.

”I guess I kinda always knew I wanted be where he was standing, you know? Next to you. Holding your hand even, if I was really lucky.” He chuckles but so softly that Amy can tell he’s still being serious.

Amy nods, entranced, and if it wasn’t for what said next then the moment definitely would’ve been a fully and completely soft moment - alike nothing she’d ever witnessed Jake Peralta in before. The man beside her is nervously fiddling with his fingers and she can tell Jake has crossed some emotional boundaries with this confession tonight. Which is also why she doesn’t comment on it when he flees the intensity of the romantic moment with a joking remark.

“And if that isn’t motivation for ya then I don’t know what is.” His voice switches to the goofy tone he speaks in most of the time and soft Jake slowly fades away, into fun Jake with his still tall walls up. Although Amy knows he means every word he’s just said. That is enough for her; enough to keep her cheeks blushing and lips in the shape of a moved smile. Enough to keep her around for what feels like will be a long time.

“Well…” she scoots over to his side of the bed and pulls his head down to press a playful kiss to his cheek, like a schoolgirl would to her crush, and it’s Jake’s turn to blush. She pulls back but stays close, turns his head with her hand bringing them nose to nose. She’s still blushing but she doesn’t care. He can see her colors - all of them.  

“Here you are, Peralta. And it feels so much better having you here.”

[giorno-plays-piano]

Playing games Pairing: dark!Sebastian Stan x Reader Warning: yandere, swearing, some non-con implications towards the end. Words: 2069. P.S. JESUS CHRIST WHAT HAVE I DONE I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON I HOPE NO ONE WHO REALLY MET SEBASTIAN GONNA READ THIS ghjdfyjdfds I’m so sorry guys _____________________________________ “I asked for a vanilla latte with extra milk, not caramel cappuccino.”

You rolled your eyes at his irritated remark. You knew Sebastian wasn’t in his best mood this morning and expected him to make your day nastier just because he felt like it.

“Sorry, but I’m sure it was caramel cappuccino. You asked for some cinnamon on the top, remember?”

“No, I didn’t.” He snarled and looked at you, giving a mocha frappe to Jill, his hair artist. “I asked for a vanilla latte. If you suffer from memory loss, you’d better visit your doctor once we get back to US.”

What an asshole. Mary, who was now applying some makeup on Sebastian’s face with her beauty blenders and brushes, bit down on her lip: she had been watching how he treated you for the last 3 weeks, and it was a living nightmare. It was very odd since Sebastian was on good terms with pretty much everyone around, but you were always an exception. Why? Neither Mary nor Jill could tell. There was nothing revolting in the way you behaved around Mr. Stan, simply doing your job as his assistant. You were getting him coffee every morning, buying some personal stuff for him, managing his meetings… but you were more an errand girl, that’s true. It was surprising for most of the other people surrounding you two, but you didn’t object to your tasks. You were furious because of the way Sebastian treated you.

He was mean, unfair, irritating, and rude. You didn’t deserve it.

“Well, my voice recorder tells I got everything right.” You pulled it from the pocket of your below-knee sheath skirt, ready to press the button.

“What the fuck is that?” The man rose to his feet immediately, almost pushing frozen Mary out of his way and stepping towards you. “How many times do I have to tell you? NO. FUCKING. RECORDERS.”

He was ready to snatch it from your hands, yet you were able dodge him right on time, hiding the recorder in your pocket again.

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry, I’ll put it away!” In a second you were behind Jill’s tall figure as if you were a child hiding from a bad-tempered parent, Sebastian watching you with anger in his cold blue eyes. “I’m not going to use it. But it’s still true, you asked for caramel cappuccino.”

“Guess what? I don’t fucking care.” He growled in a low voice. “You’ll go and get me vanilla latte because it’s your goddamn job. And I want my coffee before Jill’s finished with my hair, understood?”

Watching his with clear disdain on your face, you cursed under your breath. It was freaking hot in Prague where Sebastian was filming now and getting out the second time just to run to Starbucks once more would sure ruin both your makeup and a white blouse you had been wearing. Damn it.

“God, why do you have to be such a bastard most of the time?” You snapped at him, visibly shaking with fury. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you a closet psycho or what?”

“I’m the one who pays you, honey.” He smiled at you the same way he always did it in front of the camera and you felt sick.

You stormed off the room without having a glance back at his perfect white teeth. Sebastian Stan was the worst person you had ever met, and you were working for him, seeing him every day and listening to his orders as if you were his pet. How did it come to this? Why did he look like the most perfect human being to you six months ago? What made him behave like that to you when in reality it was him who offered you a job?

God, it was all messed up. You did not remember when things got so bad you could yell at each other in a full voice. It was actually surprising, someone like you shouting and swearing at one of the world’s most famous actors, but it was something Sebastian let you do. Like he wanted you to scream at him regardless who surrounded you whether it was his makeup artists, agents, cleaning ladies or anyone else. It was like he got off on it.

True, this job payed well, much better than the one you had before. Moreover, in these 6 months you saw more countries than you did in your entire life, travelling with Sebastian everywhere and meeting tons of new people, many of them being great professionals. It was inspiring; it made you dream of all the things you thought were impossible; it made you curious and gave you a chance to practice your networking skills.

But Sebastian was fucking blowing it. After six months of constant everyday battles filled with rage and pure hatred you had gained weight, 10 pounds to be precise. Now you were having problems to sleep, and you knew it wasn’t the jet lag.

Anyway, you spent the whole day running around the city to buy him this or that. In the evening you were so tired you could barely move your legs while Sebastian was clearly pleased seeing you like that. It probably stroked his enormous ego.

Fuck it. You didn’t deserve a minute of it. You were not going to let him ruin you for fun, just because he could it since he payed you. Why did you spend you precious time trying to please him? Sure, you still considered him one of the best actors on the planet, but the things he did to you were not ok. He wasn’t ok. Maybe he really was a psycho or had some disorder he didn’t want to treat, you had no idea. But you knew it couldn’t continue like that. It was too much.

You spent an hour writing an email and asking to be laid off. It was just a few lines, simple and professional, yet you were constantly adding and then erasing new sentences. You shouldn’t make it personal, you thought to yourself. You doubted you could leave on agreeable terms, but you needed to give it a try. Even if your last argument with Mr. Stan might be the worst of them all, it would be your last one. It was worth it.

Sighing, you decided to take a stroll before going to bed. 15 minutes wouldn’t hurt, right? You’d have some fresh air and enjoy the view of Prague’s Powder Gate – you were lucky to stay right in the center of this magnificent old city. You could make some more photos to show your friends once you return back home. It was also nice to just sit on a bench and look at the night sky full of stars.

Maybe then you wouldn’t feel so guilty for leaving Sebastian and your team.

In the end, it took you way more that 15 minutes, but your late-night walk made your thoughts clear and left no regrets about your choice. What was happening between you and Sebastian wasn’t right, and you could do nothing but leave. With so many people wishing to work for him he would get another assistant in a matter of hours, and you would get your life back. Those money you earned would keep you afloat quiet some time even if you wouldn’t be able to get a job right away.

“What is this, Y/N?”

His voice almost made you jump. Sebastian stood up from the chair in the corner of your room once you put on the lights. What the Hell was he doing here so late? How did he open the door? If he needed anything, he could simply give you a call.

Oh. You saw your little black recorder in his hand.

“I told you I won’t use it anymore.” Your jaw clenched.

“I’m not talking about this piece of shit.”

He tossed your recorder on your bed as if he couldn’t care less and moved towards you so fast you had no time to step back.

“What is this pathetic email you wrote?” Sebastian’s handsome face darkened. “Are you not right in the head? You want to leave?”

“Yes, I do. What’s wrong with that?” Your expression hardened. He dared to touch your laptop when you weren’t there. “I thought you’d be glad to know. Today you told me three times I didn’t deserve working for you, correct?”

“You know perfectly well I wasn’t serious.”

“God, I have a hard time telling when you’re serious since all you do is hating me.”

He sent you an icy glare.

“You know I don’t hate you. You just happen to bring the worst in me, dear.”

There he was again. God, were you going to have this argument right now when you were deadly tired? You hoped it could wait till tomorrow, but it was clearly not your luckiest day.

“If you want to blame me again, it’s ok. I’m the worst one. I’m a bad person and a terrible assistant.” You squeezed your eyes shut and sighed again, scratching your forehead. “I get it. What I don’t get is why you aren’t happy I’m leaving.”

“Because I don’t want you to leave. If I really hated you so much, I’d already found another assistant, but I don’t want that.”

“Listen, let’s stop playing our games just for a few minutes.” This conversation made you feel even more exhausted. “We don’t get along. You don’t like me. Why do we torment each other? I don’t even remember the last time we had a regular conversation without shouting and cursing.”

“I’m not playing games with you, dear. You do.” He had already cornered you, his face determined and somewhat unsettling. “What do you want? A raise? More benefits?”

You were ready to yell at him again.

“Did you listen to what I just said? I want to leave. I want to come home and forget about all our horrible fights. I want to have a steady and boring job back in US. Do you understand?”

“NO, I DON’T!” The man screamed at you again, and now you suddenly felt his arms clenching your shoulders painfully and winced from his touch. “I already told you to stop toying with me! After all this shameless flirting and batting your eyes you wanna tell me you’re leaving? Do you think I’m so stupid to believe in this bullshit?”

It took you a few seconds to process his words. What? Flirting? Well, you did consider him handsome and charming, who on Earth didn’t, but you had never pulled anything like that. At first, it was because of your professionalism, and then your relationships escalated so fast you knew that he hated you and you hated him. What Sebastian had been even talking about?

You felt very aware how close he was once you felt his heavy breath on your face. He never did this before.

“Listen, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I want to leave. That’s all.” You tried pushing him back with your hands against his chest. “Please, let me go. I need to… t-to go to the kitchen.”

“You’re going nowhere, dear.” His expression darkened. “Tell me the truth. You don’t want me to treat you like my assistant? I get it, I get it, it’s fine. I can treat you like my girl in front of everyone if that’s what you want.”

“No! I – “

His put his hand on your mouth immediately, leaning in closer.

“It’s ok, I understand. I grew tired of pretending like nothing happens between us, too. You want me to let everyone now? It’s ok. I’ll post our photo on Instagram tomorrow. Is this what you want? Is this what you want?”

You tried to scream, but his grip on you was too strong as if Sebastian was really some kind of super soldier. Desperately trying to wriggle free you only got him to hold you tighter, his soft lips all over your face already wet with tears.

“It’s ok, dear. I got it.” He shushed you, trying to keep your arms together with his hand and pushing his knee in between your legs. “I’m sorry it took me so long. I understand now, so you don’t have to go. You won’t go, will you?”

You couldn’t answer him even if you wanted to.

[atlafan]

My Everything - Part Seventeen

A Take it Slow Sequel

What happens with Harry and Y/N after he proposes? How will the two navigate the engaged life while also continuing to juggle their jobs, friends, and families? Let’s find out.

Warnings: fluff and angst. TW: mentions of past abuse!

Words: 6.7K

a/n: This part is a little more serious, with some fun things sprinkled in between. 

Masterpost

Many things were the same with this pregnancy as they were with Jack. Harry took a picture of you every week to watch your tummy grow, and he also insisted on doing a maternity shoot. You thought it could be even more fun to have Jack involved too. Harry had set up a nice space in your bedroom. You had a robe on and did your hair and makeup nicely. Jack was coloring on the floor sitting next to Buster.

“Ready babe? Drop the robe.” Harry smiles as he finishes getting his setting on the camera just right.

You take a deep breath and let your robe fall. Harry’s eyes grow wide and he clears his throat as he blushes. If Jack wasn’t in the room he probably would have fucked you before taking the pictures.

“How were you able to shave?”

“I didn’t…um…remember when I was with the girls the other day?”

“Yeah.”

“Well…Rachel bought a home wax kit and she waxed me.”

“The three of you…are a little too close.” Harry chuckles.

“Well at least it looks pretty now!”

“It always looks pretty, hairy or not.”

Harry positions you how he looks, getting a nice side profile. He always took really tasteful photos of you. Jack wasn’t paying much attention until Harry took out some paint. You put on a nude bra and underwear set.

“Jack, wanna come be in the pictures with Mummy?”

“Yeah!” He gets up and gives you a hug.

“Alright, I want you to stick your hands in the paint, and press them gently on Mummy’s tummy, yeah?”

“Okay!”

Jack was really excited, he loved paint, and he loved when you and Harry allowed him to be a little messy. Harry lifts him up and helps him press his hands on your stomach, around your belly button. You hold onto Jack so Harry can snap some photos. The hand prints looked really cool, and Harry was able to get a candid shot of you and Jack giggling.

“Were you able to find that crop top for the family photo? I’ll get this on a timer so I can do the paint too.”

“Mhm, let me go put it on.”

You come back out in a black short sleeve crop top and black joggers. Harry dips his hand on the paint and presses them to the sides of where Jack’s hand prints were.

“There, see Jack, it took all of our love to make this baby.”

Jack beams up at his father. Harry scoops him up and they position themselves to take some family photos. You put your hands in the paint and press one hand on Jack’s stomach, and one Harry’s back, making for a very cool shot. Harry had too many tattoos on his stomach for the hand print to be prominent. You get a shot with Buster too, and you all smile as they look them over.

“Pretty, Mumma.” Jack says.

“You think so? I’d say we’re a pretty good looking family.” You look at Harry lovingly. “Thank you so much for convincing me to do this again, it’s so special.”

“Of course, honey.” He kisses your cheek. “You just look so good, it would be a crime not to document it.”

//

Time was going by way too fast. You were due soon, and you were freaking out because it was only the middle of April. Someone would have to take over your classes for the rest of the semester. You were hoping to hold on for a couple more weeks, but Jessica Rose had other plans for you. You were in the middle of one of your lectures when you felt something.

“Oh my god.” You gasp, and squat. The whole class gasps. Your water had broken and it was seeping down your pant legs. “I’m fine, everyone!”

“Did your water just break?!” One of them shouts.

“Yes.” You breathe and reach for your cell phone. “I need, shit, to call my husband.” You press your phone to your ear. “Class dismissed, uh, Kelly, can you let the admin know what’s going on?”

“Sure thing!”

A few students hang back to make sure you’re okay.

“Harry?!”

“Hi! Aren’t yeh teachin’? Do yeh miss me?” He chuckles.

“My water just broke in front of my class.”

“What?!”

“Can you get over here? My go bag is in my trunk already, so you just need to, fucking hell, get here.”

“I’m gonna take a cab, I’ll be there in ten minutes. I’ll snatch Jack from day care, just get to your car.”

“Okay.”

A couple of your students help you outside to your car. Before you know it you see Harry running towards you with Jack in his arms. He grabs you by the back of your neck to kiss you.

“Okay, uh, I’ll get him strapped in, get in the car, babe.” He says excitedly.

Harry speeds to the hospital. Jack got a little frightened once you were inside and getting wheeled away. Harry called your mom and had her come pick him up.

“Where’s Mumma!?” He sobs.

“She’s…gone to pick up baby Jessica, Jack. And Daddy needs to go help her. But you’re really lucky, you get to spend time with Mimi. I need yeh to be a big boy f’me, can yeh do that?”

“I’ll try.” He sniffles.

Harry gives him a kiss and a hug before handing him off to your mom. He sprints down to your hospital room where you were chewing on ice chips.

“Is he alright?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. You know how he is when he first leaves us. I think he was just scared from all the commotion. I’m sure your mum will calm him down.” Harry takes your hand and kisses it. “How are you feelin’ this time around?”

“Remember when I told you what it was like when I got my nipples pierced? The first one didn’t hurt because of the adrenaline, but the second one hurt because I knew what to expect?”

“Yeah.”

“Welp.” You burst into tears. “I suddenly remembered what it was like to push a giant head out of my vagina, and I’m probably gonna tear open again, and…” You look up at him. “Tell me again, why I wanted to do this?”

“Because you wanted to have another baby around.” He smooths some hair away from your forehead. “And we really like makin’ babies.”

“We do, we really do.”

“It’s gonna be alright, love. I’ve got way more time off from work this go around, and you have the entire summer.”

“What if Jack doesn’t like her? He used to getting all of the attention. He’s only going to be three next month, he won’t understand.”

“Well, he took a liking to those dolls we gave him. Remember how good and gentle he was with the baby? I think he’s excited. He may not like it all the time, but like everything else he’ll get used to it.”

“I can’t wait for them to drug me up soon. I read that sometimes the second kid can come a lot faster.”

“Let’s hope.” He leans in and kisses your forehead.

//

Thirty-six hours in labor. You had no idea what was going on. Your water had broken, what was the hold up? You were uncomfortable and in pain and you just wanted this baby out.

Dr. Johnson comes in to check on you.

“So…I’d like to talk to you both about a cesarean.”

“You want to cut me open?!” You look at Harry, frightened.

“It’s much less invasive than it used to be, and you’d be in really good hands.”

“I don’t want to have a giant scar across my stomach!”

“You won’t, like I said, it’s not like how it used to be. The recovery time takes a little longer, but your vagina won’t tare open.” She tries to make a joke, but right now you weren’t sure what to say. “It’s up to you, but you’ve been in this hospital for two days.”

“Would I still be able to go in with her?”

“Oh sure! We’ll numb her up, you won’t even feel a thing.”

“What do you wanna do, Y/N?”

“I think I’m ready to meet our daughter.”

“Great, we’ll get everything prepped.”

//

They let you hold Jessica skin to skin, but Harry wasn’t able to until you were back in the actual hospital room. You felt disgusting. They had to give you a bed pan. You never thought you’d miss the mesh underwear so much. You found yourself crying every few minutes from the pain that was creeping into your body, but Harry would call a nurse and she’d give you some medicine.

You breast fed Jessica just as you did Jack. She was gorgeous. Harry couldn’t stop crying either.

“I just love her so much.” He sobbed as he held her close to him.

Eventually you felt strong enough to use the bathroom, and a nurse helped you through it. After another night of rest you told your mom she could bring Jack in to see you.

“Mumma!” He exclaims as he comes into the room. “Missed you!”

“I missed you too.” You say, tiredly.

“What about me?” Harry pouts at him.

“Missed you too, Daddy.”

Harry scoops him up.

“Come on, we gotta wash your hands. How was he, Lynn?”

“Very good, we had a nice few days together.” She comes over and kisses you on the forehead. “A c-section, huh? Had four of them myself, you know?”

“It’s much different now. I need to stay here a couple extra days, but at least it doesn’t burn when I pee.” You laugh.

“Where’s little Jessica?”

“Down at the nursery. A nurse is going to bring her in soon. We were exhausted.”

A nurse comes in shortly and you take your daughter from her.

“Harry, put Jack on the bed with me.” He does as you say. Jack’s eyes grew wide as he looked at the baby in your arms. “Now, Jack, this is much different than your baby doll. You need to be even more gentle, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Meet your baby sister, Jessica Rose.”

You tilt her towards Jack so he can see her face. He gives a gentle stroke on her cheek.

“Baby.” He whispers.

“God, look at them.” Harry blubbers while he takes his phone out. He takes a picture of the three of you.

“Here, let me get one of the four of you.” Your mom says.

Harry picks up Jack and sits on the bed with you. The four of you snuggle up close. It’s a great picture.

“Once you feel up to it, we can get a real portrait done.” He tells you. “What do you think, Jack? Ready to be a big brother?”

“Yeah, she smells good.”

You laugh as you hand Jessica over to your mom.

“That’s that new baby smell, buddy.” Harry says to him.

//

You had to spend a couple days extra in the hospital to make sure you were healed up properly. Harry was a saint. You were too weak to do much other than feed Jessica when you got back home. You didn’t breast feed much. You just pumped and put everything into the fridge. It allowed harry to feed Jessica much easier.

Jack soon discovered he didn’t like the sound of the baby crying. He also didn’t like how much attention the baby got over him, especially from you.

“Put baby down, Mumma.” He would whine.

“I can’t right now, honey, I’m giving her a bath.” You were bathing her in the sink.

“Jack, I think Jessica has the right idea. Let’s go give you a tubby.” Harry says.

“No, I want Mumma.”

“You can’t fit in the sink anymore, Jack.” You giggle. “You’re gonna be three years old very soon.” You pick Jessica up and boop her nose. You wrap her in a towel and hold her close. “I’ll put her down and then we can give him a tubby together.”

“You heard her.” Harry says to his son. “I’ll get the water started.”

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you lull her to sleep? I think Jack needs some alone time with me.”

“Alright.” He kisses your cheek and goes into the baby’s room.

“Okay, baby boy, let’s get you clean.”

You and Jack play with his water toys, and then you scrub his head. Just like Harry, he loved the way your nails felt while you washed his hair.

“Daddy and I have a big surprise for your birthday.”

“Really?”

“Mhm, it’s coming in a couple of weeks.”

“What is it?”

“Can’t say.” You smirk.

“No fair.” He pouts.

“Just know, it’s going to make summers even more fun.”

You wrap him in a towel and lift him out. You get Jack in jammies and get him tucked into bed. You read him one of his favorite stories until he falls asleep. You kiss his forehead before leaving his room. You let out a tired sigh after you close his door.

You go down the stairs to see Harry making dinner. Just a simple salad. He hands you a bowl.

“Thanks, honey.” You yawn.

“Sorry he’s been so clingy lately. I try to keep him busy most of the day. Buster helps tire him out, but it’s like the second he sees you…”

“He wants his, Mumma, I get it. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t like spending so much time with you though.”

“I know.” He sighs. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better. The extra rest you gave me was much appreciated.”

“Well, you needed it.” He sets his bowl down and wraps his arms around you. You rest your head on his shoulder.

“I’m tired.” You groan.

“Wanna turn in early?”

“It’s only seven.”

“So? I’m happy to go crawl into bed if you are.” He chuckles.

“Alright, yeah. Oh! We could watch something on TV and just relax.”

“I like the sound of that.”

//

“A pool!” Jack squeals when you let him outside.

You and Harry had saved up for over a year to get an above ground pool built in the back yard. You wanted to give Jack a pool party for his third birthday.

“We’re gonna have a big party here next weekend just for you, honey.”

“Just for me?!”

“That’s right.”

“Thank you, Mumma.” He hugs your legs.

“Go thank Daddy too.”

Jack runs over to Harry who was finishing getting the pool filled. He hugs his legs too.

“When can we go in?” Harry scoops Jack up so he can see into the water.

“Not for another few days. Gotta test it and make sure it’s safe.” Harry comes over to you. You were feeding Jessica. “I picked up a heating pad too, you can lay it across the water to make the water warm, just in case it’s too cold.”

“Good thinking, babe.” You hold your daughter up and pat her back to help her burp. “Jack, would you like Daddy to take you to the store so you can pick out some pool toys and floaties?”

“Yeah! Can we, Daddy?”

“Of course. We can head out soon. We can pick out something Mumma would like too.” He winks at you.

You needed a nap. You were exhausted. Even though Harry was more than willing and able to do the night feedings, you found yourself beating him to it. You bring Jessica up to her room and get her settled into her crib. You crawl onto your bed and close your eyes. Your body was still doing a lot of healing. You had started going for walks on the treadmill in the basement. You wouldn’t be able to go for neighborhood walks with Sarah until June when her school year ended. You’d be back in shape in no time.

You woke up about twenty minutes later to the sound of your phone going off. You wondered if Harry had a question about the pool toys. When you see Dr. Mara’s name pop up, you’re slightly confused. She still prescribed you your medication, but you hadn’t had an actual visit with her in quite some time.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Y/N, it’s Dr. Mara.”

“Hi, yeah, um, is everything okay?”

“Yes, well, there’s an article I saw online today…I think you should see it, but I wanted to call first before just texting it to you.”

“What does it entail?”

“Jake…” Your eyes grow wide. It was a name you hadn’t even thought about in years. “He’s been arrested recently. I know you never came forward with anything, but sometimes…well, sometimes when more people step forward on these things, it helps. Everything is up to you, of course. I’m going to send you the article. Do with the information what you will.”

“Okay, um, thank you for letting me know.”

You hang up and she sends you the article. He had been arrested on domestic violence charges. Apparently he had been divorced, and he had attacked his ex-wife. She was pressing charges, but the article didn’t get into it.

“Oh my god.” You feel tears prick at the back of your eyes. You lose all control and start sobbing.

Jack couldn’t wait to show you the things him and Harry got at the store. He races upstairs to your bedroom.

“Jack, mummy could be sleeping, hold on.” Harry whispers and picks him up. He opens the door to your room quietly. You were sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking, eyes red and puffy. “Y/N?”

“Mumma! We got so many toys.”

“That’s, that’s great, honey.” Your voice was hoarse and just as shaky as your body.

“Um, Jack, could you go color in your room for a bit?”

“But you said we could show Mumma.” He pouts.

“We will, I just need to talk with mummy alone quick.”

He sets Jack down. He grumbles as he leaves the room. Harry sits down next to you. You flinch when he tries to put his hand on you. You hand him your phone to show him the article. He gasps when he reads it.

“How did you even come across this?”

“Dr. Mara called me.” You say quietly. “She said…if I were to come forward…it could help this woman’s case. Get him locked up.” You sigh. “It’s weird, it’s like, I almost forgot I had been through anything.” You start crying again. “If I had just pressed charges back then this poor woman he married wouldn’t be dealing with this.”

“Y/N.” Harry gently places his hand on your back. “It’s okay.”

“I still have everything. I don’t know if the DNA would even still be on there, but I kept everything in a box just in case. I could go to the police station and give my story. I have to help.”

“You’re sure this is something you want to go through? You may end up needing to testify.”

“I made a mistake by not doing this before.” You put your hand on his knee. “We have children now. If something like this ever happened to either of them…I’d, I’d lose my goddamn mind! I can go to the police station this week. I know it’s cutting it close to Jack’s party, but I should do this sooner rather than later.”

“Do you want me to go with you? We could get a babysitter.”

“No, I should go by myself. You stay home with the kids.”

“I’m so sorry this is all being brought back up. Are you gonna be okay?”

“I don’t think I will be until I know that monster is properly put away.”

//

The next morning you rummaged in the basement for the box you had kept the bags of the sheets and dress in. You sighed when you found it. You weren’t sure what it would do, but you were thankful you kept it. Harry kisses you goodbye before you go. You wanted to leave before Jack woke up.

You drive out to the police department that had arrested Jake. You take a deep breath before walking in. You walk up to a woman sitting at a desk. There were a ton of people walking around, and loud phones going off. You shake all of the background noise away.

“May I help you?”

“Um, yes, I…need to report…a few years ago…you recently arrested Jake Robinson, and he raped me a few years ago.” That was the first time you ever actually said something like that out loud.

“Oh my.” The woman says. “You’re not the first person to come in about this. One moment.” She makes a call and a few minutes later a detective come out.

“Hi, I’m Detective Ruiz.” She says to you. “Would you like to come have a chat with me? I’m working the Robinson case.”

You nod and follow her back to her desk.

“These are, um, the sheets…and what I was wearing when it happened.” You place the bags on her desk. “It happened back in 2018, so I don’t know if they’ll be helpful.”

“They definitely will be. We can send everything off to the lab. They’ll be able to tell us what’s on it.”

“The woman up front said I wasn’t the only one to come in…”

“You’re not. We arrested him last week, and three other women came forward.”

“How’s his ex-wife doing?”

“She’s making it through.” She takes a note pad out. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“Of course. We had been on about four dates. He seemed like a really nice guy. We hadn’t been too intimate, mostly just kissing. On our fourth date, I invited him up to my place. We ended up on my bed. I thought we would just get into, um, some heavy petting, but before I knew it my head was being shoved into my pillows and he was just…well, you know. I didn’t feel safe enough to say no. I thought he might do something even more forceful. I certainly didn’t consent to sex. When he left I passed out from the blood on my sheets and the blood between my legs. My best friend, Niall Horan, came and helped me afterwards.”

“Did you happen to take any pictures?”

“No…the only time I used my phone…oh, wait, um…I do have a picture of Jake and I from our date that night. We had gone for a walk and taken a selfie.” You go onto your Instagram and scroll back really far. You weren’t sure why you kept this picture, but right now you were glad you did. “See.” You show her.

“Are you able to send that to me? He may claim he’s never met you before.”

“Of course. I feel terrible. I should have come forward when it happened.”

“All of the other women said the same thing, don’t worry. The others happened before you. It can be hard to talk about these things. Coming to us doesn’t exactly help make it all go away.”

“I just want to do everything I can to help now. I have a soon to be three year old, and an infant to think about.” You think for a moment. “I went to therapy for years. I know there’s doctor patient confidentiality, but I’ll sign whatever waiver that’s needed if you need more information to support the case.”

“Thank you, we really appreciate that. May I ask who you saw?”

“Dr. Pricilla Mara.”

She nods and writes the information down.

“Alright Mrs…?”

“Um, my husband’s last name is Styles, but legally I go by Y/F/N Y/L/N…I’m a PhD as well, that’s why I kept my name.”

“Kept my own name too.” She smirks. “No need to explain that. So, the lab process will take some time. We’ll be in touch, though.”

“Alright.”

“Thank you for coming in. You’re definitely making a big difference.”

//

When you get home you find Harry on the couch with Jessica in the crook of his arm, and Jack nuzzled up close in his other side. He was reading one of his books to them. You giggle slightly and take your phone out to take a picture.

“Mumma!” Jack exclaims and gets up to run over to you. “Where were you?” He pouts.

“I had to run an errand, my doll.” You pick him up and kiss his cheek. “But I’m home now. Can I sit there, Daddy?”

“Sure thing, Mummy.” You sit down and Harry throws his arm around you. He kisses your temple. “Jack really liked the story in this book. I pretended it was about a prince and a princess.”

“Ah, well, let’s keep reading then.”

It was a nice family day. You pushed Jack on the swing outside while Harry took Jessica for a walk in the stroller with Buster. Then he grilled up some food for dinner. Once both kids were down, you told Harry about what happened at the police station.

“So, they’ll call you if they need more from you?”

“Yup.”

“You’re being really brave, I hope you know that.”

“Thanks. You had a nice morning with them?”

“It was great. Jack crawled into bed with me and we had a nice snuggle before I had to get Jessica. She was so good for me too. I made Jack pancakes for breakfast after I fed her. We had a nice chat. He misses his friends at day care, but he said he’s excited that we’ll both be home for a bit.”

“Aw, he’s so sweet. We had fun in the backyard earlier. I like that you’ll be home with me a little longer than last time.”

“Me too. Mum and Gem are excited to fly in for the party.”

“They come Friday, right?”

“Mhm.”

“I can’t wait for them to meet Jessica.” You wrap your arms around his neck, and his hands rest on your waist. “We have a nice life.”

“Wouldn’t trade it for anything else.” He kisses you gently.

“Okay, I’m letting go before you think this is an invitation.” You chuckle.

“What?!” He laughs. “I wasn’t even making a move!”

“I could feel your hands sliding down to my butt, I can read you like a book, Harry. I know your moves.”

“Well, as much as I’d love to get my hands all over you, I know we can’t yet.” He rolls his eyes. “Even though my little friend stayed intact this time.” He wraps his arms back around you and pulls you close.

“Yeah, well, my stomach is still healing up.”

“I’m well aware, angel.” He kisses you again. “Doesn’t mean I can’t kiss you does it?” He mumbles against your lips.

“I suppose that’s okay.”

He leads you over to the couch, and lays you down. He hovers over you and sucks your bottom lip into his mouth. You can’t remember the last time you simply just made out with your husband. After the morning you had this was everything you could have needed. He knew that. He always knew what to do.

He deepens the kiss by licking into your mouth, and you have absolutely no problem with it. Your tongue finds his and you just feel like you’re getting lost in each other like you used to. You’re taken out of your intoxicated state when you hear Jessica cry through the baby monitor. Harry sighs into your neck. He slowly lifts off of you.

“I’ll go check her, why don’t you go take a bath or something. You’ve had a long day.”

“Thanks, yeah, maybe I will.”

You both go upstairs. Harry changes Jessica and rocks her back to sleep. He checks on Jack quick to make sure the baby didn’t wake him. He was sound asleep. Harry goes into the bedroom and sees the bathroom door open a crack, you were just getting into the tub. He opens the door and leans against the frame.

“I’d ask you to join, but I’m still a little self-conscious.” You blush.

“S’alright, can I sit against the tub just to be near you?”

“Of course.”

Harry sits down on the cold tile. You drape your hand over his head and mindlessly play with his hair. Times like these you almost forgot you were a parent. When you’d be able to just sit and talk with Harry about things. He’d be home with you through the end of May and for the month of June. You decided that since Anne and Gemma were coming here, that it would be a good idea to not go to England this summer, and to just make your trip longer in January.

“Are you sure you’re okay with not being able to see your friends?”

“You know that’s not the only reason why we go there right?” He turns slightly to look at you. “I love seeing Louis and all, but we go there to see other family. I go there to get some other work done. Besides, since we’re not going we’re making more money off the flat.” He shrugs. “And traveling with Jack and Jessica right now doesn’t sound all that appealing. It would be a lot. You’re still healing too.”

“I’m just saying, if you wanted to go…”

“You’re crazy if you think I’d use the time off from work that I’m supposed to be here helping to dart off to London.” He takes your hand and kisses it. “I’d never do that.”

“I’m really happy you’re taking so much time off. I appreciate it a lot.”

“And then when I go back I’m only doing half days until you go back to work.”

“Jessica won’t be able to go to daycare until she’s six months, so she’ll need to be with you.”

“That should work fine. Can you believe that Jack only has one more year of daycare until he’s at preschool? Time’s flying.”

“I know.” You sigh. “We should probably start looking at places we want to send him. Sometimes you almost have to book your spot a year in advance.”

“I wish the university had a preschool, we’ve been spoiled.”

“I’m gonna start asking around to see where other people have sent their kids. I don’t want pick up and drop off to be annoying.”

“Well, shouldn’t we look around this area? It would be better for him to meet more of the Milton kids that he’d actually end up going to school with.”

“Good point. I’ll talk to Sarah, she probably knows what preschools are good.” You look at your hands and see they’re getting pruney. “Could you hand me my towel? Think it’s time I get out.”

Harry stands up and hands you your towel. You stand and quickly cover yourself with it.

“You know, a few scars don’t scare me.”

You give him annoyed look as you step out of the tub.

“It’s not about you though. It’s about how I barely recognize my body half the time when I look into the mirror. It was easier this time around since I knew what to expect…but…still.”

You throw on a bed shirt and some shorts, hang up your towel, and crawl into bed. Harry gets in only wearing his boxers.

“I have liked just pumping instead of breastfeeding. I’m way less sore since I don’t have a little mouth nibbling on me.”

“Do you miss the bonding at all?”

“Nah, I mean, I still rub my nipple on her face to help with the acne like I did with Jack.” You giggle and roll on your side to face him. He faces you and puts his hand on your back to rub it up and down.

“I know it’s not about what I think, but you have to know I think you look incredible.”

“You also thought the same when I was as big as a house nine months pregnant.”

“I did! You were glowing, babe. You still are.” He leans in to kiss you, and gently slots a leg between yours to get comfortable.

“I haven’t been cleared by the doctor yet. It hasn’t quite been six weeks.”

“I’m not doing anything, just getting cozy. Just wanna snuggle you.” He pulls you in closer to his chest. “You have an appointment next week, right?”

“Mhm, on Wednesday. And then I’ll probably go back a month or so later for the IUD. I’m just not ready for another invasive procedure just yet.”

“We can just use condoms if you don’t feel like having it put back in.”

“But you hate using them…”

“I know, but if it makes it easier for you, I don’t mind.”

“I love you.” You snuggle into his chest and sigh.

“I love you too.”

//

The day of Jack’s party, you pulled out all the stops. It was dinosaur themed because he was very into dinosaurs right now. You put up decorations all throughout the house and in the back yard. The pool was ready to use as well. Harry made everyone a nice big breakfast, and once it was done you both creeped into Jack’s room to wake him up. You both sit on the edge of the bed while Gemma takes her phone out to film everything. You all had gone out the night before to eat, it was nice for Jack to be so excited about his Grammy and Auntie.

“Wake up, baby.” You coo as you stroke his cheek.

“Hm.” He mumbles.

“It’s your birthday, darling.” Harry says.

Jack shoots up in his bed and look at the two of you with a big smile on his face.

“I’m three?!”

“You’re three!” You both say at the same time and tackle him with hugs and kisses. His giggles fill the room and it makes you both so incredibly happy.

“Come on, I got you a new bathing suit.” You tell him and show him the new trunks that had dinosaurs on them.

“Oh, wow!” He gazes at them.

“Gotta go potty first though, son.” Harry picks him up and brings him to the hall bath.

You go into Jessica’s room where Anne was sitting with her in the big comfy chair.

“She’s absolutely precious.”

“She really is.”

“Harry made a nice breakfast, mum, let’s head downstairs.” Gemma says. “He’s just getting Jack washed up for the day.”

You all enjoy the breakfast Harry made. There was fresh fruit, pancakes, vegan bacon, and muffins. Something for everyone.

“When’s my party, Mumma?”

“In a few hours. Mimi and Grandpa are coming, and so are your other aunties and uncles. Some friends are coming too.” You smile as his face lights up. You had invited his best friend, Ryan, and his mother Lisa. “And your cousins of course. Michael and Melissa are very excited to see you.”

“Melissa’s party was fun.”

“You remember it, baby?” Anne asks.

“Mhm, we painted.” He points to the paper with splattered paint on the fridge. “It’s Buster.”

“So it is!” She beams. “It’s nice he has a cousin so close in age.”

“I know, they’ll be great friends I think. And Michael loves being the older cousin. I can’t believe my little man is six! He’s going to into the first grade in the fall.” You shake your head.

“He’ll be over here babysitting before we know it.” Harry chuckles.

“God, don’t even say that. You know my brother lets him text me sometimes. He sends me these funny videos of him dancing or just saying hi.”

“Clearly you’re his favorite.” Gemma says. “So, Jack, how do you like being a big brother so far?”

“It’s okay.” He shrugs.

“He think she’s loud and boring.” Harry says.

“Daddy!” He whines.

“Sorry, was that supposed to stay between the two of us?” He laughs.

“You think she’s boring?” You can’t help but laugh too. You look down at the baby in your arms. “Well, I suppose she is, isn’t she?”

“She just sleeps. She can’t even play.” Jack says.

“But she’ll be able to when she gets a little older. And then you can show her how to play nice with all your toys.” You explain. “Won’t that be nice?”

“How come you had a girl and not a boy, Mumma?”

You and Harry look at each other, then to Anne and Gemma who were cracking up, and then back to Jack.

“Well, buddy, Mummy’s and Daddy’s don’t get to decide.” Harry says.

“Why not?”

“It’s just how it works.” You say. “Are you sad you don’t have a little brother?”

“No, I like having a sister.” He gets up out of his seat and crawls up on you and into your lap. “She’s pretty, just boring.” He gives his sister a kiss on the nose and everyone at the table awes.

//

Your yard was full of people. Plenty of adults keeping their eyes on the kids in the pool. Jack was having a wonderful birthday. It was the first time your extended family got to meet Jessica as well. You were happy to pass her around. Anne and Gemma were big helps in keeping the food outside stocked up.

Harry tells you to sit down with Jack at the table as he comes out with the large cake. Jack blows out the candles when everyone is done singing. It was very cute. Harry cuts the cake for everyone, while you help Jack open up his various presents.

“What do we say?” You say to your son.

“Thank you everyone!”

Jack gets up and gives hugs to his family.

“I can’t believe how big he is.” Rachel says to you as she digs into her cake.

“I know! Too big if you ask me. Wouldn’t mind if he stayed like this.”

“Oh, but it’s fun to watch them grow.” Sarah says. “I love when my students come back to visit me.”

“Mumma, come swim!” Jack says to you.

“I can’t yet, honey. Why don’t you find Uncle Niall, he’ll swim with you.”

“He’s with Daddy.” He points over to Harry and Niall who were deep in conversation.

“Alright.” You squint over at the pool and see Kyle swimming with Michael. “Uncle Kyle’s in the pool with Cousin Michael, you can go in with them.”

“Okay!” He runs off.

“No jumping!” You shake your head.

“I’m glad you guys got one of your own, but you’re still welcome to come over once my school year is over.”

“Thanks, I’m sure we’ll take you up on that. He loves when Harry jumps off the diving board with him.”

“How have you been feeling?” Rachel asks. “Does it take longer to recover after a c-section.”

“Yes and no. I was in the hospital longer. I mean, it’s a major surgery. My scars are healing up nicely though. It’s just been six weeks, I have an appointment with Dr. Johnson on Wednesday. I’m hoping she’ll be able to clear me. I’m in some major need of loving with my husband.”

“I bet.” Sarah giggles. “Niall said he’ staying home the entire month of June with you?”

“Yeah, he said he wanted to be home to help more. He’s the best. He’s going to do half days after that, and then when school starts he’ll take Jessica to work with him until she can go to daycare.”

“You’re going right back in the fall?” Rachel asks.

“Yup, it’s fine though.” You shrug. “I was sort of spoiled last time. I’ve got the hang of things now.”

“Auntie Y/N.” Michael says coming up to you. “Are there any more juice boxes. There’s none in the cooler.”

“Oh! Sure, give me one second I’ll bring some out, my love.”

“Thank you.”

“Excuse me.” You say to the girls and go inside. Your phone had been sitting on the kitchen counter charging. You check and see that Detective Ruiz had called. “Shit.” You swipe your phone to call her back. “Hi Detective, I’m sorry I missed your call…my son’s having a birthday party.”

“No problem. I just wanted to let you know we got the lab results back.”

“Already?”

“We expedited things. His DNA was on there.” You take a deep breath as she continues to speak. “Thank you for bringing that in, it really helps with the case.”

“What are the next steps?”

“We may need you to come in and testify once the case is brought to court.”

“Will I need a lawyer?”

“You’ll want one, yes, just to help you. We’re hoping to get this moving along quickly. The other women have also agreed to testify. We have a strong case against him.”

“So…he would be there…in the courtroom?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“I know that it won’t be an easy thing to do.”

“I said I wanted to help the best that I can, and that’s what I intend to do.”