#she swings around a chainsaw all day…my girl is RIPPED

[cishetlou]

BOOM SHAKALAKA!!!!

[adhdeancas]

For @theangelwiththewormstache, I kind of went all out and searched through your blog to see what you like and headcanon, sent a few sneaky asks to find out more, and wrote in all the things I wanted for everyone’s happy ending. it got... unbelievably long.

Merry Christmas and enjoy :) 

Love, Cas over at @let-me-live-in-peace and @samwinchestersleftshoe

PS: thanks to @destielsecretsanta2020 for organizing this!

Click.

Dean sighed and nodded, pulling the phone away from his ear so he could stare at it expectantly. Right about…

It rang. 

“Cas,” Dean said languidly, like an asshole who didn’t know why his boyfriend was calling him back.

“Sorry. I forgot again.” 

“I know.” Dean couldn’t keep the smile out of his voice if he tried. And he tried.

“I love you.” 

“I know.” 

“Dean.” A hint of well-earned annoyance. 

“I love you too, Cas.” 

“Bye.” And another click. Dean grinned and pocketed his phone. The dumbass was still too impatient to wait for an answering goodbye. Guess they’d never be the couple to argue about who should hang up first. Then again, Dean kinda liked it this way. It was just a few more seconds of teasing and a special call to say I love you, that was kind of nice, right? Jesus he was a sap.

“Earth to Dean? Wanna stop daydreaming about your boyfriend for a sec and get back on task?” Claire was standing there waving a hand in his face, bitchface firmly planted. Dean gave her one back.

“Don’t be homophobic.” 

She rolled her eyes. “I’m gay.” 

“Yeah.” Dean kept walking, looking around at the rows on rows of Christmas trees. He stole a glance back at her. “Where is Kaia anyway?”                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Claire blushed and crossed her arms over her chest. She would never tell him, but Kaia had hung back to give her some alone time with Dean. “She wanted to hang out with Jack. Guess she didn’t want to stare at your ugly mug all day.” A grin then, as Dean laughed at her joke.

“Fine, fine, guess you’re stuck with me.” 

They roamed around a bit, both insisting on cutting down their tree themselves, Claire winning the fight to get to carry the ax. (Yes, Sam had suggested they bring a chainsaw. They had both refused because they needed to “earn the Christmas tree.”)

“Cas wanted a fraser fir.” Dean remembered, pointing to the section marked for them. 

He felt, rather than saw, Claire roll her eyes, which, that’s exactly what Dean had done when Cas first told him. “Dork. Do you always do what your boyfriend tells you?” 

Dean shrugged. “Pretty much. You?”

“Yeah.” They shared a soft smile before going back to their regular shit-talking. It was just The Dynamic. They searched a little bit more before they found one, the perfect tree that was big enough to make them both giggle over what Sam’s reaction would be when they brought it home.

It… takes longer to cut down a tree than you would think. Than either of them thought. Especially when you bring an ax and especially when you choose an obnoxiously large tree. They took a break about halfway through, sitting down in the snow and passing the thermos of hot chocolate Jack made them take back and forth (Claire spiked it with Bailey’s, which Dean chose not to comment on but was grateful for).

“Hey Claire… is it weird? Seeing me and Cas,” 

Claire looked at him warily, seeming to consider what possible ulterior motives he had. Then, figuring she was the one with the ax, she answered. “A little. But I never saw my dad this old. Or this gay.” She gave him a grin and Dean flipped her off, taking the ax out of her hands to get back to the tree. “It’s good.”

Dean paused. “What is?” 

“You and him. You’re good for each other, you can tell. Don’t overthink it.”

Dean’s lips curled up. “Sounds like something Cas would say.” 

“Yeah, well, sometimes the dork is right. Don’t be an idiot.” She shook her head at him. “Jody had to remind me all the time at first.” 

“What?”

“That I… y’know. Deserve it. Her. To be happy.” She put the last bit in quotes, saying it sarcastically, but Dean could see the truth of it in her eyes.

“Yeah, well, Jody’s smart like that.” He took another swing at the ax and tried to believe it for himself. It got easier every day.

------

Cas was left at home with Kaia and Jack while Dean and Claire got the tree and Sam and Eileen got food supplies. (Dean had protested, but Sam had -correctly- said that if given free rein, he wouldn’t get any vegetarian options and would get 10x more junk than they needed.) Jody, Donna, Alex, Bobby, Charlie, and the rest wouldn’t be here until the next afternoon. Christmas afternoon.

“So what should we do first?” He was a little bit nervous, being once again put in charge of the kids. 

“Paper snowflakes?” Jack suggested, his excitement all too obvious from the smile on his face. Kaia glanced at him, amused by his obvious enthusiasm. Claire had braided his hair before she left while Kaia painted his nails (black, because they don’t own any other color of nail polish). It was clear they were pretty bonded.

“Sounds good to me.”

Kaia had to teach both of them how to make paper snowflakes. Cas tried to make perfectly symmetrical snowflakes; Jack kept cutting his in half on accident which made a bunch of smaller snowflakes. Hey, it worked.

“So… what’s the deal with you and Dean?”

“Deal?” Cas flushed a little. Everytime someone asked it thrilled him all over again. He was dating Dean. Dean. Was his. Had told him so, straight to his face. And he got to kiss Dean whenever, and sleep with him, and make him make noises only he got to hear, and listen to all his worries and weird fears and recaps on the latest episodes of Dr. Sexy.

“Cas?” Jack was knocking on the table lightly. Kaia had two raised eyebrows and a little smile. 

“That good, huh?” She could relate. Everytime she thought about Claire she felt all warm inside, and going home to her at the end of the day was like a dream, especially after being apart for so long. 

Cas looked down, called out. “That good.” he agreed.

“How disgusting are they, Jack, on a scale of cute to rip your own face off cute?” Kaia leaned over the table now, shit-eating grin plastered firmly on her face. Jack looked delighted to be in on the joke, which made Cas happy in spite of himself. Jack really needed this time with kids his own age. (Well, kind of. He was technically three.)

“Well, they do cook together…” 

“Do they do that thing where one of them comes up from behind and puts their head on the other’s shoulder?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Dean or Cas?”

“Cas watches. He can’t cook.”

“Hey!” It was true. Cas was just arguing for the principle of it.

“But the movie nights are the cutest. One of them always falls asleep on top of the other one.”

“Probably at like 10 o’clock. You guys are so old.” Kaia teased, shifting her attention back to Cas. 

Cas shook his head and pointed his finger at the two of them. “I never should have had children.” Kaia stuck her tongue out and Jack followed suit. Proving his point. Kids.

---------

“Hey, you dorks just gonna let us do all the work, huh?” Dean shouted from the garage.

“Yeah motherfuckers, get in here!” 

Cas let out a half-hearted “Language!” before following Kaia and Jack through the halls. Claire pulled Jack into a side hug first before tugging Kaia in for a kiss. Dean would’ve followed suit, except Claire had actually left him to carry the whole fucking tree himself, which Dean, like an idiot, had actually attempted. Cas hurried over to help him, which earned him a glare lined with gratefulness. 

“Oh yeah, have a happy little reunion over there, don’t mind me or this giant tree!” Dean griped at the kids. “Let the old men handle it!”

“Hey, you said it first.” Claire raised an eyebrow at Dean and pulled Kaia and Jack off into the bunker, probably to go find Miracle. Dean sighed heavily, muttering under his breath.

“You brought that on yourself.” Cas informed him, grunting under the effort of holding up half the tree. 

“Thank you, babe. Very helpful.” Dean rolled his eyes. Cas pretended he didn’t feel a jolt of happiness at the most sarcastic ‘babe’ he’d ever heard.

-----

They managed to haul the giant-ass tree into the library and set it up, barely. It did almost crush Cas, but Dean tugged it upright at the last moment, prompting a joke about Cas dying again. (“Hey, you’re not allowed to make those anymore, you’re human now, dick.”) And a kiss that all the kids whooped and hollered at.

Then Cas showed Dean and Claire around the decorations they’d made while they were out. The greatest hits included paper snowflakes, ornaments, and a Christmas tree on the wall made out of old license plates. Dean clapped Jack on the shoulder to congratulate him on his crafts while Kaia held Claire’s hand and pretended not to be affected by the praise sent her way. 

By the time Sam and Eileen got back, they’d decorated the tree, all the chairs in the bunker, and the stair-rail with lights and tinsel. Sam let out a whistle when he came back in, which brought Miracle, Jack, and Cas to greet them. (Claire and Kaia were busy telling Dean all about their local gay bar. Which, considering they lived in South Dakota, was quite the story.) 

Dean’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw his brother and Eileen come in the kitchen with their bags. “Okay Dean, before you ask, we went with apple, pecan, pumpkin, and cherry.” Sam looked at Dean warily, who stared back at him over the girls’ heads with narrowed eyes, deciding whether or not to fight. The amount of pie ingredients he’d put on the list had been truly outrageous.

“Would like to remind you that the kids are making cookies and cheesecake too.” Eileen reminded him. Dean continued to look around suspiciously until Cas sat down on his lap.

That’s great, Eileen. Cas signed to her. He will be fine.

Eileen rolled her eyes. Whiner. Sam let out a snort and Cas grinned at her. Dean glared. 

“What’re you saying?” 

“Learn to sign better and you’d know.” Sam smirked.

“I’m working on it!” Dean protested and wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist, tugging him in possessively. He was going to try to sign something else but settled for a middle finger pointed straight at his brother. Hey, it was sign language.

Cas leaned back and kissed him on the cheek for his efforts. His memory landed on one particularly frustrating night for Dean when they’d been practicing his ASL (Cas knew every language of course) and Dean just couldn’t remember the most basic of things. Lamp, field, tree. The more frustrated he got, the more words started to leave him. He’d started swearing under his breath and stomped out to the porch to cool off, followed by Cas a few minutes later. Cas still remembered the drained look in his eyes as he looked at Cas. 

“I feel like such a fucking dumbass, Cas. I know it’s not that hard, it shouldn’t be that hard, Sam makes it seem so easy…”

“Dean, you are learning. It’s okay if it takes you a little time. Sam has experience with ASL, doesn’t he?”

Dean had sighed and conceded this. “Yeah, he took some in college I think. I just… I never took any language, you know? Didn’t seem as important as woodshop or sex ed.” He grinned half-heartedly at his own joke.

Cas smiled back and pointed at him, signing o and k. You’re okay.

He repeated the signs, nodding. I’m okay.

I love you.

I love you too.

-----

After the pies were made and chicken noodle soup in the crock pot, Cas and Dean relinquished the kitchen to the kids and retired to the Dean cave. Sam and Eileen were cooped up in their room until they were allowed back into the living quarters by the kids. They didn’t want their creations critiqued or tasted before they were ready.

Cas waited patiently while Dean typed away on his phone, eyes narrowed to see the text. He refused to get reading glasses or enlarge the print on his phone, even though he sorely needed it. Cas kept his complaining about it to a minimum though because he liked the wrinkles around Dean’s eyes when he squinted. It reminded him that he got to grow old with Dean.

Dean looked up finally to see the fond look on his lover’s face and blushed, guilty. “Sorry, just checking with Kara.”

Cas nodded understandingly. As always. “The bar will survive without us for a few days.”

“I know.” Dean looked down, a little pleased he could admit it. “I just miss it.” Wow, to have a life he could miss, and to miss it from a peaceful holiday vacation surrounded by his family. It was… surreal. 

“What do you want to watch?” 

Dean sank back into the cushions, thinking. “Die Hard?” 

Cas smiled at him. “Is that what you want to watch?” 

Dean rolled his eyes and flipped around so he could lay his head in Cas’s lap. “No.” He admitted it grudgingly. Cas could read him like a book. It was inconvenient sometimes and other times, like now, it was nice. “Just seems like the thing to watch. Y’know, Christmas Eve.” 

Cas shrugged. He put a hand in Dean’s hair, just like he liked it. Dean closed his eyes almost at his touch; he’d gotten much more comfortable letting his guard down like that lately. It had taken a while though, months of Dean staying rigid in his arms before he could relax quicker. “There are other things to watch.”

Dean reached a hand up and cupped Cas’s jaw with his hand. “Whaddyou wanna watch, sweetheart?” 

Cas couldn’t help but turn his head to kiss Dean’s hand. Dean only called him sweetheart when he was feeling particularly tender, usually a few whiskeys in. This time he happened to be both. Cas loved it. “What about a double feature?”

“Hm,” Dean scrubbed his hand along Cas’s stubble and thought. Cas’s stubble was one his favorite physical things about him; sometimes Cas accused him of petting him like a cat. “What ones?” 

“First… It’s a Wonderful Life.” 

Dean cracked a grin and opened his eyes. “Clarence?” 

Cas blushed. “I miss her sometimes.” 

“Should I be worried?” 

Cas tilted his head, pretending to consider it. “Considering she’s a demon? Probably.” Meg was banished to hell with the rest of the demons that had gotten out of the Empty, but given their old friendship with the Queen of Hell, that didn’t mean much for them.

“Psh, demon-shmemon. Been there, done that.” Dean pulled Cas down into a kiss, making him bend over into an awkward position that made Cas giggle. “Being a human is much sexier.” 

“I agree.” 

Dean waggled his eyebrows at him suggestively. “Wanna make it a triple feature? Little hanky panky for intermission?” Cas rolled his eyes, which Dean interpreted as a solid yes. “What is our second movie, anyway?” 

“Huh.” Cas booped Dean on the nose. “Love Actually.”

A slow, dopey smile spread over Dean’s face. “Okay.” He paused, thinking about it. He’d pushed Cas into watching it years ago, when they were still just friends, by ‘accidentally’ adding it to his Netflix Queue and then letting Cas loose for movie night. He’d watched Cas for his reactions the whole time (and only gotten distracted by looking At Cas a few times). It had been a couple months ago when he told Cas about that. “Second favorite thing about being queer is being able to watch sappy shit like that.” 

Cas rolled his eyes. “You were able to before, Dean.”

Dean ignored him. “Ask me what my favorite thing is,” 

“What’s your favorite thing?”

“This.” He burrowed into Cas’s lap. A sap and a flirt.

“I thought you were gonna say Taylor Swift.” A dry witted old queen.

Dean snorted into his stomach. “That’s my third favorite.”

----

“Alright, gang, what do we say? Same place tomorrow morning, let’s say… 5?” He spun around to look at everyone, a wide smile on his face. Everyone seemed less enthused than him, although Sam seemed to think his situation was amusing.

“Dude, I’m not twelve, I’m not waking up at 5 am to open a few presents.” 

“Like hell you aren’t!” Dean was smiling but it was less of a happy smile and more of a disbelieving one. Cas squeezed his arm then, stopped him from continuing his argument. Dean glanced at him and he just stared and gave him another squeeze. 

Dean knew what that look meant. It meant ‘Dean, you’re overreacting again, calm down and think about it’ and also ‘stop being such an asshole’ and probably also ‘wow you’re eyes are really pretty’ knowing Cas.

He took a deep breath and pecked Cas on the lips. “Alright, princess, what time are you willing to drag your lazy ass out of bed?”

Claire smirked and sent a look at Kaia before leveling back at Dean. “Eleven.”

“Eight.”

“Ten. Final offer.”

Dean considered a moment then extended a hand. And shook. “You have yourself a deal.”

----

After they went to bed, they talked about it. These days, they always talked about it. It was one of the things Cas had brought home from his shrink appointments, and, as much as Dean hated to admit it, it worked. Helped.

Cas changed into pajamas and stretched, sending a look back at Dean. Dean rolled his eyes and started before Cas could prod him to. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Cas raised an eyebrow at him. “You hate the morning.” 

Dean pursed his lips and shook his head, then pulled down his pants, because you should never have a conversation with your boyfriend with pants when you could have one without pants. These things he was learning. “Yeah, I do, it’s just… it’s Christmas.”

“Yes, it is. Isn’t it supposed to be a day of relaxation and fun?”

“Yeah, but it’s supposed to be exciting! Kids jumping on their parents bed at the asscrack of dawn to go to the tree, that kinda shit!” He shrugged, getting stupid worked up over it, he knew. He knew. Cas pulled him in by the hand and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Come on, tell me how I’m being an asshole.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “What part of ‘you do everything for love’ do you not understand?” 

“How is me freaking out over Christmas morning ‘for love’?”

Cas didn’t flinch away from the self-deprecation. “You want them to have the Christmas you never got.”

Dean sank his head onto Cas’s shoulder, thinking about it. He was right, of course he was, he’s always right. Cas can read him like a book, even when Dean himself didn’t know what he was doing. “I guess so, yeah.”

“That’s admirable. But the Christmas they deserve, same as you did, is the one they want. Which might not be the one you wanted.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right.” he sighed heavily. More than he wanted his kids to have a motherfucking Christmas-card Christmas, he just didn’t want to be the ruin of it. Didn’t want to be John. “Sorry you have to shrink my head all the time.” Dean muttered softly. Cas pulled him away and kissed him, slow and soft. 

“You pay me back tenfold.”

“You’ve got a shrink.”

“I meant with sex.” Cas met his eyes, face stoic as always. He would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for the glint in his eyes. It gave him away.

Dean threw back his head and laughed.

“Motherfucker.”

“I don’t have a mother.” 

Dean shook his head, grin splitting open his face. Cas himself was trying to hold it together; he kept having to push down the corners of his mouth so he wouldn't break. Dean crowded closer, determined to ruin that composure. He walked his face right into Cas’s, only reaching for his lips once they were already bumping together. Then he fell into it, pulled Cas toward him to get more, settled into the easy mesh of their bodies until Cas ended up knocking his knee against the bedframe with a loud thump.

They dissolved into a pile of breathy giggles, too giddy and soft to work up the energy to get frisky. Dean just shrugged off his shirt and pulled Cas closer to him. “You know you’re the best thing to ever happen to me.” Dean told him seriously. He didn’t know where it came from; it was way too mushy to even possibly be from his mind. Maybe it was something about the holiday, and the family, and the safety that all of it brought. 

“And so are you.” Cas replied simply, eyes glinting. 

“Even though I’m an asshole sometimes?” He had to ruin it. Had to put in that little bit of doubt, of insecurity. But it wouldn’t be truthful if he just swallowed it, so he let it be said.

Cas kissed his nose, which made Dean feel like a child but also like something so special and precious he didn’t complain. “Even though you’re an asshole sometimes.”

Dean snorted out a laugh and chased Cas’s lips, nipping at him in offense. He sank onto the pillow and stared at Cas where he sat up. Cas just looked down at him, adopting that alien-like quality he could still summon. “Marry me.” 

“What?”

Dean smiled fondly at him, for once not at all concerned. “I dunno, dunnit ‘boyfriends’ sound way too young to you? I mean you’re practically 5 million years old, you can’t have a boyfriend.”

Cas pursed his lips, seemingly deciding between protesting his age or agreeing to his proposal. He laid next to Dean during his decision, letting Dean watch him consider. “Suppose you’re right.” He shrugged, offering up a tiny grin. 

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Dean.”

“No, you’re supposed to say ‘Yes, yes, a thousand times yes’ and then burst into tears.” 

“Dean.”

“Hey, I don’t make the rules, that’s just how humans do it!”

“Okay, I take it back.” 

Dean laughed and pulled him into a giddy kiss. “I love you.”

“I hope so, you’re marrying me.” Cas couldn’t contain his smile anymore; he stopped trying and just stared at Dean with the kind of wonder that used to make Dean feel uncomfortable. Now, it just made him feel lucky. “I love you too.”

---

A phone rang, a bizarre ringtone Dean didn’t recognize. Sam jumped up and ran off to the map room, apologizing quickly. “What the hell, man!” Dean yelled after him and sent a look at Eileen.

Hunter call, probably. She signed. Sure enough, Sam was in the other room picking up a landline with an annoyed tone. 

He listened for a few minutes, asking follow-up questions before Dean heard him say, “Rugaru, yeah, that’s what it sounds like. Yeah, you gotta burn ‘em. Nasty, sorry. Yeah, no problem. Good luck.” He hung up and headed back into the room, signing and talking. “Sorry, hunting doesn’t care about holidays.”

“So glad we’re not doing that anymore.” Dean sighed happily, wrapping an arm around Cas. Sam smiled at him and nodded.

“Me too. I had to burn those clothes after the Rugaru thing.” He shuddered, the memory of the stench enough to make him happy for an empty stomach.

Eileen shrugged. Never had to deal with one of those. 

“Lucky.” Dean promised her. Cas nudged him, nodding toward Jack. He was shaking a wrapped box with his name on it, a look of deep concentration on his face. 

“Whaddya think it is, kid?” 

Jack shook his head. “No idea. Can I open it?” 

“Go for it.”Jack tore into it, no regard for the painted newspaper (yes, it was recycled, Cas and Sam both agreed) as he got to the box underneath. “Open the card first, heathen!” Dean joked, pointing out the card tucked onto the bottom of the thing. Jack scowled but complied, opening the card to find a nice note from him and Cas and a key taped in. 

“What’s it for?” 

Dean leaned forward, elbows on his knees, excited about this part. He had been the one who came up with it, after all. “Our place. We wanted to make it official, since you been, you know, visiting around a lot lately.” Dean turned a little pink in the cheeks. Jack had indeed been drifting between Sam and Eileen’s, Jody’s, his and Cas’s, Donna’s, and Claire and Kaia’s. But he always spent the most time at his and Cas’s house, trying to copy Dean and always ending up enjoying Cas’s hobbies more. Sam had told him a while back that Jack confided he wasn’t sure he was welcome there, not for the long term. So Dean wanted to let him know he was welcome. Except now, looking at the uncertainty on Jack’s face, he wasn’t so sure that’s what the kid wanted. “Uh, you know, you can just spend however much you want with us, but… you know.” He poked Cas desperately in the side, trying to get him to save the sentence.

“We’d like you to have a ‘home base’ with us, Jack. However often you are willing to stay.” Cas said simply. He squeezed Dean’s knee to reassure him.

Jack looked up at them with a stunned expression. “Does this mean I can take out the trash? And do the dishes?” He looked thrilled at the idea. 

Dean chuckled. “We never would’ve stopped you before, kid. But yeah, sure.” 

Sam cleared his throat, offering a smile to Jack. “That better not mean you stop coming around here though, Jack.” When Dean had called and told him his idea for the present, he’d almost teared up. His brother had come a long way with Jack. Still, he wanted to reassure his kid that he always had a home with him and Eileen too, no matter how busy he was. (And nowadays, between online classes, cataloguing lore onto an online database, and being the New Bobby, he was really busy.)

Jack jumped up, clearly about to go for a round of hugs, but Dean waved him off. “Keep going, you haven’t even gotten through one present yet.” 

Jack grinned and complied, taking a bit more time with the box. He pulled out a Scooby Doo phone case, marked for Extra Protection, with Scooby and Shaggy on the back.

“That one was my idea.” Cas told him proudly.

“I helped.” Dean piped up.

“You did not.”

“I helped you pick which case!”

“You wanted to get one with Fred and Daphne.”

“Well, yeah-”

“Not everyone has a crush on them like you do, Dean.” 

Dean flushed scarlet and went silent, pouting. Jack ignored their bickering and beamed up at Castiel. “I love it, dad. Thank you.” 

Cas looked like he could’ve gone for round 4 with the Empty with how happy he was, but he just nodded. “Of course.” 

The rest of the gifts went by with lots of shouting, laughing, smiling, and hugging. And a few tears all around. Dean got Claire a flamethrower without consulting anyone, and Cas got Kaia a rose and lavender scented pillow fragrance (“It helps ensure good dreams.”), which prompted a comment from Claire (“How’d he know you’re a pillow princess?”) that everyone pretended not to hear. Dean got Eileen a Woojer, a wearable speaker that lets you feel music’s vibrations in your body (“Because no one should have to live without Zepp available to them 24/7. Also, now you can cry with me when the sad music cues come on Dr. Sexy,” - one of their favorite activities together). 

Dean jerked a head at Sam to get him out of the room, so Sam snatched his gift while Dean detached himself from Cas. They went to the kitchen, sending a couple soft looks back at their family gathered around the tree with all their new possessions. It was nice, and they both felt it.

“So, uh, Sammy, I been thinking a lot about what to get you for Christmas and everything. I didn’t want to go with the classic-”

“Skin mag and candy bar?” 

“Yeah.”

“Well, damn, now I feel bad.” Sam mimed hiding his present (obviously bigger than a skin mag) behind his back, and Dean rolled his eyes.

“I finally got money, you know? Not a lot of it, but… I got a house and fucking, Cas, and… anyway. We’re finally doing Christmas and I wanted to do it right. And I want you to be as off-the-wall happy as I am, dude.”

Sam smiled widely, not even able to come up with a little-brother bitchy comment to that. “Thanks, Dean, that means a lot.” 

Dean cleared his throat and nodded. “Yeah, so, I, um, I wanna pay for your school.” Sam opened his mouth to protest but Dean held up a hand. “No, listen, I know you’ve been stressed about it, and I know you’ve been working really hard on the hunting catalogue stuff. That shit’s important. And I can pay for some crappy internet school classes. No offense.” 

Sam laughed and pulled his brother into a hug. “Thank you, man.” He said, muffled into Dean’s shoulder. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Dean patted Sam on the back, expecting Sam to pull away, but he didn’t. “Uh, Sammy.” Sam ignored him. “Sam. Dude, get off me. I want my present.” 

Sam snorted and finally pulled away. Dean tactfully ignored the wetness of his eyes in favor of snatching the gift from Sam’s hands. He tore it open with all the grace of a rabid dog, unveiling a thick, leather bound scrapbook. “A scrapbook? Really?” Dean raised his eyebrows. “That’s gay, even for you.” 

Sam pulled a bitchface. “Who sucks their boyfriend’s dick every chance he gets?” 

Dean flipped him off. No need to argue, Sam would see right through him. It was true though. Not that he would know. Dean flipped open the cover and grinned immediately. It was Sam and Dean as kids, in a mall photo booth, being dumbasses with their tongues stuck out and their faces all crazy. Dean mooned the camera in one, and you could see the psychological scarring on Sam’s face in the next picture. A little note slapped on the page next to it said “I have more nightmares about this than about hell”. Dean laughed, glancing up at Sam before he continued. Sam’s eyes were hopeful with a glint of mischief. That was never good.

Dean flipped through the next pages. It showed them through the years, all with little notes of Sam’s internal monologue. “Grumpy because he hasn’t gotten his coffee this morning” “That’s for the itching powder incident, asshole” and more and more. There were even some pictures in there of just him that Sam had obviously taken without Dean’s knowledge, pictures of him sleeping with comments about his snoring, pictures of him singing obnoxiously in the car with jokes about ear damage. Pictures of him and Bobby shooting the shit with notes about the pair of “old men.”

Then the pictures started to change. There started to be pictures of him and Cas. Mostly just him and Cas. Standing, talking, watching TV together (this one says “angel’s first porno!” with a bunch of hearts next to it). Comments talking about personal space (“he never stands that close to ME”) and the like. One of Dean in Bobby’s panic room where Dean has a speech bubble drawn on his serious face that says “Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that, I got laid” and then just a selfie of Sam pulling his bitchiest bitch face. 

Dean turned a little red at that, recognizing his complete obliviousness at the time, and kept going. The pictures continue, lots of fun-loving pictures of them on the road and the occasional movie or bar night, Charlie and Kevin and even Crowley and Rowena. But without fail, there is picture after picture of him and Cas sharing a publicly private moment, all with little snippy comments from his little brother. More than three of those comments are “Just kiss already!!!” Dean finally looks up to see Sam crossing his arms and staring at him with a smug, self-satisfied smile. 

“When the hell did you make this?” Dean sputtered. These are a lot of pictures, Sam must’ve kept them on his crappy cell phones for years. 

Sam blinked. “I started it in 2006.” 

“No, I mean, when did you go back and add all these bitchy little comments?” 

Sam raised an eyebrow. “2006.” 

Dean blinked right back. “But you… you’ve got all these dumbass comments about me and Cas.”

His smartass little brother started to smile then, a big shit-eating grin he wanted to smack off his dumb face. “Yeah, man, you weren’t exactly smooth about it.”

“Hey, fuck you, what does that mean?” It was said in jest, but Dean’s volume control went out the window.

“Dean? Sam? Everything okay?” Cas’s voice reached them from the other room. Dean sent an offended glance back at Sam before answering.

“Yeah babe, I’m just finding out how much I wanna punch my brother in here,” 

“Okay, well, leave it till tomorrow, it’s Christmas.” 

“Nah, isn’t fighting with your family a holiday tradition?” 

“I think you’re right. Okay, continue.” 

Now Sam was just watching him with such a knowing expression it made him annoyed. He was watching him flirt with his boyfriend- no, technically, husband. Oh yeah. He lowered his voice back down to a reasonable volume to talk to just his brother again.

“Yeah, so, I should also tell you-” He closed the book and set it on the counter. “We uh… Cas and I, we’re gonna get married.” He looked down at his feet and blushed a bit, could feel the rising heat in his cheeks. Honestly, he couldn’t believe he was saying that. He was getting married. To Cas. “Obviously, you know, we can’t really, with one of us being a legally dead terrorist and the other a former angel in the body of a missing family man,” Dean and Sam both  laughed at that. “But I asked him and he said yes.” 

“You asked him?” Sam seemed more surprised by that than the actual news. Dean shrugged and nodded. “Wow. Congrats, Dean, really.” Sam pulled him in for another hug, which Dean happily returned. “Can I walk you down the aisle?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “If anyone’s getting walked down the aisle, it’s Cas. He might get distracted by a butterfly halfway down, he’ll need the guide.” 

Sam grinned. “Come on, it’s not like you weren’t always gonna give me away.” 

Dean frowned at him. “Me? Why?” 

“Dean, you’re the closest thing to a parent I ever had.” Sam says it like it’s obvious, like he isn’t forgetting about-

“You had Dad.” 

Sam raised his eyebrows and laid a hand on Dean’s shoulder, making his big brother look him in the eyes as he repeated it. “You’re the closest thing to a parent I ever had.” 

Dean wasn’t gonna get choked up. No, he wasn’t, damn it. He’d made it this far in the visit without getting choked up, he could- 

“Sam?”

Eileen appeared around the corner, making them both realize how long they’d been away from the rest. Sam looked at her apologetically, signing Sorry. Dean was just telling me he and Cas are getting married! 

Eileen turned to Dean, barely giving Dean time to process a quick congratulations sign before she enveloped him in a hug. Dean laughed and hugged her back, pulling away to sign thank you. At least he knew how to do that. 

Big church wedding? Eileen teased. 

“Only if Cas wears a poofy dress,” Dean joked back. He only knew the signs for Cas and dress, but between that and lip-reading, Eileen got it. She shook her head with a grin and grabbed Sam’s hand. They all went back into the living room and to the rest for another round of hot chocolate and a marathon of all the Home Alone movies, per request. 

------

Dean snuggled into Cas’s side and ruffled a hand through Jack’s hair and he tried to think of something more perfect than having his family all together for Christmas. He couldn’t.

[prettyflyshyguy]

Teehee what if I was to drop most of the C Virus AU Fanfic CH3 right now at 12:28AM... Unless.

Unedited/draft Ch1, Ch2 first half, Ch2 second half, for your perusal, and here’s a very unedited first chunk of CH3 that isn’t quite finished because I have work tomorrow but it involves interaction with Ada and I’m sitting here all :)))))))))) while writing so I hope you enjoy!

Perched atop a building, he scanned the area below. As he was making his way towards the area where Simmons should be, he had heard gunfire. Despite his grizzly appearance, if someone was in trouble he could still find a way to help, surely. A street facing door was suddenly kicked open and a figure stumbled out, with a crossbow of all things in their hands. 

‘No. Way.’ he thought as he carefully descended from the roof, wanting to get a clearer look. 

The survivor fired a shot at something inside the building, before ducking back. A small explosion occurred and a BOW, screaming and flailing stumbled out. It was more grotesque than the other C-Virus monstrosities he’d seen so far, and it looked like it had a chainsaw for an arm. It screamed in agony while the survivor readied another shot. Carefully maneuvering himself behind some rubble, the light from another small explosion from the crossbow’s bolt illuminated the survivors face for a brief moment, fully confirming his suspicions. 

It was Ada, for sure. At least he thought so. She was wearing the same clothes as when he and Helena saw her in the catacombs. The mystery was still there however; which one was the real Ada Wong? Was there even a singular one? Was she just switching outfits and motives in some twisted game?

Flicking a glance back in her direction, she was staring down at the body of the BOW lying smoking on the floor, inert. He shuffled, ever so carefully, avoiding making any noise so he could tactically reposition to try and make contact. He stiffened as he felt the vibration of rubble shift under his foot, a small amount of dirt and rocks crumbling. 

“Now what do we have here.”

Hoping if he kept still enough, she’d think no one was there, he held his breath. His heart rate increased as he heard the soft clack of her boots on the concrete approaching at a gentle pace, a bolt being loaded. No time to think.

Placing his hands on the ground, crouching back, he launched himself over the rubble, ignoring the sound of a bolt  whizzing just past his ear. Spotting a broken window one floor up a building, he leapt into it and backed up against the wall panting, just as another bolt narrowly missed its mark.

“Honey I didn’t have the time to deal with this overly enthusiastic fellow,”

He heard the sound of another bolt being loaded.

“So how about you help a girl out and make this quick and easy for both of us.”

The ‘thwip’ of a bolt pierced the air and one landed on the other side of the room. It bounced off the wall, fell to the floor and rolled slowly towards him. The head of the bolt looked large and blunt and had a small blinking red LED. He didn’t need to guess what it meant as the rate increased, and the bolt exploded in a flash of light and smoke. 

Ada stared at the cloud billowing out of the window, preparing another round for good measure. Her eyes narrowed as a few seconds passed, with no movement. She raised her weapon and aimed at where the window was, but it was barely visible now as the smoke had spread. 

Suddenly the creature leapt through the smoke with frightening speed, grabbing her arm and pushing it away as she shot the loaded bolt in a random direction. It ripped the crossbow out of her arm and backed up as she spun around to face it, reaching for her holster. 

Feeling nothing, her eyes widened as she noticed it was holding her handgun and crossbow. It tossed the bow aside gently, and with elegance she’d never seen from a BOW removed the magazine from the gun and dropped both parts either side of it. It maintained eye contact with her the entire time, its eyes were piercing and displayed a terrifying degree of human intelligence.

Covering up the fear in her head, she smiled.

“I can’t say I’ve ever met a man who’s tried this hard to get my attention.”

She started to pace slowly around as she drew a knife from her belt, the creature mimicked her pace as they circled. 

It began to raise its arms, she dove in with the knife and test jabbed to check its reflexes. It was fast, faster than her. 

Her expression turned stern. It backed up a few paces, eyes focused on her as she furiously walked closer brandishing the knife.

“I’m a very, busy, woman.” she grunted while slashing. “And I don’t, have the time, for stalkers.”

Whatever the hell she was dealing with, it clearly knew the basics of CQC. Dancing and ducking around her every swing and jab, although it made no attempt to hit her back. Suddenly its eyes flicked to something behind her, a distraction and an opening. She thrusted the knife forward but something grabbed her by the ankle and almost toppled her, one hand slamming into the ground, the other with the knife at the ready. Flicking her head to the source, the charred and burnt BOW with the chainsaw arm simply refused to die, it and had a vice grip around her right ankle. The sound of bone and flesh grinding louder and louder as it lifted its twisted machination of a chainsaw arm up as the teeth and bone started spinning again. 

She looked back to the creature in front of her only to find it gone, suddenly turning back to the one grabbing her ankle, her eyes widened as she saw the second creature holding the chainsaw-arm back, with one foot on the BOW’s back. The charred living corpse let out a chilling howl as the creature pinning it down pulled its arm further back, dislocating the mutated tendons and bone, ripping muscle. The bone-tooth blade stopped spinning and the vice grip loosened. Ada sprung back up and turned around to face the creature that by all intends, spared her. It was panting while staring at the charred corpse, seemingly ensuring it was truly dead this time. She took the opportunity and sprung towards it, holding the knife in both hands.

At almost the last second before the knife hit its chest it flung one arm up to push hers back, and grabbed one of her wrists with its other, stopping her completely in her tracks. She grimaced and stared up at its face, meeting its eyes. There was almost a pleading look to them. Its grip on her wrist was firm, but not painful, she kept the knife pointed at its chest but shifted her weight so not as much force was pushing her into its arms. Despite the overcast sky, a small break in the clouds shifted and moonlight illuminated the scene and the creature's face. That’s when she noticed its unmistakable hair, the soft blue eyes. The fact it didn’t even lay a scratch on her. 

“...Leon?”

His face softened and the concern was replaced with the beginnings of a warm smile, he loosened his grip on her arms and started to relax-

Her knee struck his stomach with frightening force, he stumbled back with a grunt.

“That’s for almost breaking my crossbow.”

He smiled slightly as he cocked his head to one side, probably deserved that. He gently collected her sidearm and magazine, grateful to find out despite his hands shifting he was still able to comfortably reload the gun with ease. She collected her crossbow, a pleased smile graced her face as she examined it and found it was not damaged.

“So, cat got your tongue?” her playful tone hid a mixture of contradicting emotions. 

She turned back to Leon who had a hand extended, holding her sidearm out. Taking it back, she took a moment to actually look at him. He always ‘stood tall’ around her, she noted he was even taller now and actually towered over her with an air of confidence after managing to disarm her so carefully. It was hard to maintain a certain level of composure, he had hardly changed and the thought was warm but looking at what had happened was painful. His eyes were exactly the same but she could barely return his gaze without her composure breaking. 

He shuffled slightly, then opened his mouth. Hoping something normal sounding would come out. 

“Aa…” 

The more he tried to force it, the more it hurt his throat. His shoulders shrunk inwards slightly as he turned his head to face away from her, the embarrassment and shame of the situation returning. He didn’t want to face her like this, he was regretting even trying to talk to h-

“Did Simmons do this?”

Giving up the vocal option, he shook his head. He shifted towards a wall, leaning comfortably facing her, with a flick of the wrist he pointed a finger briefly towards her, then folded his arms.

“... It was the bitch in the blue dress, wasn’t it.”

He tilted his head to one side slightly, his expression stern. 

“After everything I’ve seen, it’d be pretty cold of me to just say ‘it’s complicated’ don’t you think?” she joked with a forced smile.

No one was laughing. Leon had a very high level of tolerance for her usual manner of speaking, cryptic and tangential, not today however. His entire life changed the day they met in Racoon City but this blows that experience well out of the water.

“I don’t know who she is, but Simmons made her using the C-Virus. Starting off as a bootleg version of me but it seems like she’s got big plans of her own now.”

His stare was piercing. 

“I’m sorry.” 

His face softened as he raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“Simmons became… A little too attached to me. I wasn’t interested in playing by his rules, let’s just say he took it a little personally when I didn’t reciprocate his feelings.”

She paced around the courtyard as she spoke.

“I don’t know how he did it, but his obsession resulted in him using the C-Virus to create a very imperfect clone of me. A bootleg Ada Wong if you will.”

Leon snorted in amusement, but he maintained his stance. Closely watching as she stood still and looked back at him.

“I’m not working for Simmons. We’re on the same side, I promise.”

Then who do you work for?

The question echoed in his mind. The one time Ada talks with him at length, he can barely say her name. He looked away, frustrated and ashamed of the circumstance. Hearing her walk closer he turned slightly only to feel the warmth of her hand brush up against his cheek, his eyes flicking towards it and back to her as they widened slightly. His arms fell to his side as her other hand gently rested on his arm. Despite the transformation he still felt the temperature of his face increase, not expecting anyone he knew would even be able to accept what happened to him and be so gentle, especially not Ada. 

“I came here to clean up the mess Simmons started but now… Now it’s personal.”

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Meant To Be: Part 5

Pairings: Machine Gun Kelly x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, drug use.

Word Count: 4,072

A/N: Y’all can thank @wings-of-a-raven for this one….

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So… you’re just going back, then.”

“Damn it.” You groaned as you shoved the last of your clothes back in a box to ship them back to Los Angeles. “She called in the cavalry.” You glanced over at Colson, who was standing in the nursery that could strangely only be accessed through your room, before looking back to the door where your father was leaning against the door frame.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea, (Y/N)?” He asked. “Going back to him?”

“Excuse me?” You asked as you turned completely toward him. “Do I think it’s a good idea to go to LA to live with the father of my child? Is that what you’re asking me right now?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m asking you.” He said with a slow nod. “He wasn’t there for you, (Y/N). What makes you think he’s going to be there now?”

“Think the better question here would be where were you?” Colson asked softly as he carried a box full of toys out of the nursery to add to the stack that was temporarily destined for the small moving pod that was sitting in the driveway to be taken to his house the next day. “Because I left to save her and had I known about my son, that gap of time would’a been a lot shorter.” Your dad shut up relatively quickly since he hadn’t realized that your significant other was in the room as well, and Kels simply walked back into the nursery to finish packing.

“He’s got a point, you know.” You sighed as you grabbed another one of the rented plastic totes from the stack and set it on your bed to pack up the stack of laundry and photos off of your mom’s dresser (since yours was in a storage unit out in California.) “I love you, Dad but you turned your back on me when I got fucked up at your wedding. Mom when I dropped out, and Junior and Tabby did when I moved. The only person I’ve had by my side in the last ten years is Colson.”

“And who’s choice was that, (Y/N)? Huh?” Ross asked, harshly. “I don’t think you get it yet. Your actions are the reason we aren’t there…”

“No, you are the reason!” Colson shouted as he came out of the room, which startled Gage in his baby swing, and made him start to cry. “You’re her fucking father! The man that should have been by her fucking side no matter what!”

“Babe.” You tried as you picked up Gage to soothe him.

“What kinda man just abandons his fucking kid when she fucks up?”

“Baby…”

“She needed you, old man!” He roared as he stepped toward your father and you quickly stepped between the two men and put your hand on his chest.

“Colson, look at me. Hey…” You gave him a firm push, which didn’t move him far, but it was enough to get his attention. He huffed and put one of his hands on yours on his chest as the other went to your hip to pull you back a step away from your dad.

“And this is the kinda man you want to be around? This violent thug?”

“Fuck you, dick!”

“Colson! Walk it off!” You growled as you moved your hand and grabbed his chin. You yanked hard, and guided his eyes to his own crying son. “Take him, please. We have a flight to catch and we have to get this shit out to the storage box before we go. And I can’t do that shit by myself if you’re making our son cry when he should be napping.”

“You’re right.” He said as he physically relaxed in the safety of the nursery. “You and your fucking Jedi mind shit.”

“Just take your son, please.” You sighed with a smirk. “I have to cover your slack now, too.”

“Jesus, bitch! Ain’t that fucking hard to be a mom.” He teased as he quickly stepped out of your reach.

“Fucker!” You barked as you kicked him hard in the butt cheek. “Get him back to sleep. I’m gunna carry this stack up.” You paused in the doorway and looked at your father with your eyebrow raised. “What? It surprises you that the tattooed, piece of shit thug is that passionate about me when my own family only cares when my son got involved?” You gave him a tight lipped smile and nodded your head as you picked up two boxes and stood in front of your dad until he moved. 

“He’s my family.” You said to him as you stoped by his side for a moment longer. “And I love him. So yes, I’m going with him to California, then I think somewhere overseas for his tour. Not sure. But I’ll be… we will be with him as a family. One that doesn’t turn their backs on loved ones no matter what.” With a slight bob of your head goodbye, you turned and headed toward the stairs to finally finish packing the POD so you could catch your flight.

——

You weren’t exactly sure how you forgot the insanity, but when Gage’s bedtime came and went, and the party was still raging down stairs, you quickly realized that raising a child in Colson’s house was going to be a very difficult challenge. You didn’t want to be ‘that bitch’ that came in and tried to change his lifestyle but the later it got and the more Gage cried, the more pissed off you were. You were at least glad that Kels had a small balcony off his master bedroom, which helped damper the sound, but even so, Gage would not fall asleep. Which is exactly why you found yourself, sitting on a slightly broken lounge chair, with your six month old laying on your chest, watching the Wiggles on the baby channel on your phone at three in the morning.

“Stupid fucking Wiggles.” You grumbled softly under your breath as your son laid peacefully, mesmerized by the bright colors on the screen. “Shit’s like a bad fuckin’ acid trip. Who the fuck though this was a good idea anyways? Should be fucking banned…” Your words were cut off by the deafening rumble of a chainsaw, which made you lurch to your feet.

“Oh no!” You shouted as you ran through the house with Gage once again screaming in your ear since either the sound, or your quick movement startled him. Your heart raced in your chest because you knew, at this late hour, there were enough drugs and alcohol involved in this situation to kill an elephant and that someone was gunna get seriously hurt with that chainsaw. 

“Colson!” You roared as you ripped open the front door and moved Gage to your hip. Your boyfriend whipped around to look at you with wide, panicked eyes as he let the chainsaw in his hand putter to a stop. You shook your head and hiked your son up a little bit more as words escaped you. ‘No’ was all you managed to say before you turned around and slammed the front door behind you. You started all over again with calming your son down as you headed back upstairs, and the front door opened a few moments before you slammed the bedroom door closed behind you.

“OK.” You soothed as you laid Gage down in your arms and started to bounce him gently to calm him down again. “I know, baby boy. Mommy’s not happy either.”

“Babe.” Colson said softly as he came into the room, which made you instantly round on him with rage in your eyes.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” You screamed as you continued to bounce. “A fucking chainsaw?! Colson, you are so fucking high, I don’t even think you could tell me what Gage’s middle name is…”

“Michael.” He interrupted, daringly as he closed the bedroom door.

“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!” You screamed as you set Gage down in his rocker. “It’s three in the Goddamn morning and your son has been up here screaming for HOURS! So don’t you dare think you can get smart with me right now!”

“Yo, I’m…”

“I don’t wanna fucking hear it!” You countered over him as you stuck your finger in his face, angrily. “You are the one that wanted us here. You are the one that wanted to be a fucking father. So fucking act like a fucking father and let your Goddamn son go to fucking bed already! He’s exhausted from the time change, I’m exhausted from listening to him scream, and you’re downstairs snorting coke like it’s the fucking 80’s again. Get your fucking shit together, Kels.” You slammed your finger into his chest so hard, you heard your knuckle crack and he reached out and quickly grabbed your wrist before you could turn away.

“OK.” He said simply with a nod of his head, knowing that this was not the time to piss you off because you would swing on him. “My bad. I’ll wrap it up and come help get him to sleep. I’m sorry, baby girl.”

“You fucking better be.” You barked as you ripped your arm out of his grip and went back to pick up your son. “Goddamn chainsaw. It’s three in the fucking morning and you dumb mother fuckers are running a fucking chainsaw. Fucking idiots.” Kels watched you step back onto the patio with a shake of your head, and after a moment, he turned and quickly headed down stairs.

“Yo, parties over.” He called out as he turned down the music.

“The fuck?!”

“Dude, you just got back…”

“Yea, and I got a screamin’ son and a pissed off baby mama upstairs that need to get some sleep. So keep your shit down because I don’t feel like getting fucking stabbed tonight.”

“Dude.” Baze laughed as he poured himself another drink. “When’d you get fucking whipped?”

“When I had a fucking kid, dog.” Colson snapped as he grabbed two beers from the fridge in hopes that they would be a good start of a peace offering. “When I became a fucking parent. That’s when I got fucking whipped.” With a shake of his head, he grabbed some weed from the bag the counter and headed out of the kitchen to calm you down. “And keep the fucking music down!” He called out over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs. He slipped into the room as silently as he could and cringed when he heard Gage still whimpering on the patio.

“Here, baby girl.” He tried as he set the beers and the bud down on the bed on his way outside. “Give him here. Go smoke…”

“Why do you do this to me, Colson?” You asked as you turned around toward him with tears in your eyes. “Huh? Why do you constantly make me the bad guy?”

“Babe, it’s not like that.” He sighed as he gently took Gage from your arms.

“But it is.” You sighed as you walked past him. “Because I know the crew enough to know they called you pussy whipped for wanting to get my son to bed at a reasonable hour. I know that being up here to do something other than getting laid right now is the last thing you want to be doing when there’s at least a half dozen half naked skanks downstairs. And I also know that every minute for the last seven hours, I wanted to be down there partying it up with friends I haven’t really seen in a year…”

“So why didn’t you?”

“What and let him just scream up here all by himself?” You snapped as you flopped down on the bed and cracked open one of the beers. “What kind of mother would that have made me? And don’t you dare say you could have stayed up here with him because we both know you would have lost your shit.” With a heavy sigh, Colson sat down on the bed beside you and moved Gage to lay on his chest comfortably.

“I’m trying, (Y/N).” He said as he looked over at you with a small shake of his head. “I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

“And you think I do? Colson, I’m literally in the same boat as you here. But I can tell you this much for damn sure, we need to find a fucking medium because if night one of us being here was any fucking indication of what it’s gunna be like to live with you again, then I’m taking Gage and finding my own place again and we can figure out some kind of co-parenting shit.”

“No, please.” He said quickly as he sat up a little bit in fear. “Please, I just got you back…”

“Then fucking meet me in the middle here, Kels.” You interrupted as you gestured to the two of you with your finger. “Us as parents, and us as partiers. Because we can’t live on two different pages in the same house. I can’t be a mom and your booty call when you want it while you party it up with our friends. We’re gunna fucking resent each other for that shit real quick and it is gunna tear us apart.”

“And I swear baby girl, I will figure out how to do that ASAP. Just fucking bear with me, OK? I’ll get us there.”

“You better.” You sighed as you got up to grab his bowl from the entertainment center. “And no more Goddamn chainsaws, you hear me?”

“Don’t you wanna hear the idea…”

“No!” You interrupted as you grabbed the weed off the bed and stepped out onto the balcony. “Shit was probably stupid as fuck.”

“It really was.” He chuckled as he laid back down with Gage on his chest so he could sooth him to sleep. “But it was funny as fuck all the same.”

——

“Hey (Y/N).” Colson said as softly as he could as he kneeled on the bed beside you and ran his fingertips through your hair. You growled at him for waking you up just a few hours after you went to bed and pulled the blanket up over your head.

“Unless you or Gage is dying, you better get the fuck away from me, Colson or I will fucking stab you again.”

“No one is dying.” He chuckled as he very carefully pulled the blanket back. “But you, me, and Gage are gunna go to a hotel for a couple days. I have a surprise but it’s gunna keep you and him up for a couple days…”

“I fucking hate you.” You groaned as you opened your eyes to look up at him. “What’s the surprise?” 

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise. Come on. I already packed us up a bag, and fed and changed Gage. Just gotta get you dressed.”

“I’m dressed enough.” You sighed as you sat up and rubbed your hand down your face. You glanced down at the ‘Bloom’ shirt that showed most of your tattooed side thanks to the sleeves and most of the under arm holes being cut out, and nodded. “Fuck it, I’m in LA.”

“OK, you at least need pants.” He laughed as he handed you the pair of jeans he had grabbed from your suitcase. “And shoes.”

“Wait, you’re telling me you heated up a bottle all by yourself?” You asked incredulously as you pulled on your jeans and looked at your tired little boy in his crib from your storage unit in the corner.

“Without the microwave, too.” He said proudly as he held out your sunglasses. “Come on, it’s gunna get really loud in here real soon.” With a heavy sigh, you went over to pick up Gage as Colson grabbed your bag and the car seat. You headed out of the room and nearly tripped over Rook, who was coming out of his bedroom with a large pile of his clothes in his arms.

“Where are you going?”

“Keep walkin’, Uber’s waitin’.” Colson said behind you as JP continued down the hall in front of you. You sighed and did what you were told, too tired to care anymore. You were beyond grateful that he picked a hotel close by and had pulled some strings to get a quiet room, because by the time you got into said room, you had just enough time to pull off your jeans, and put Gage down on the bed beside you before you were back asleep. He let you sleep for the better part of the day before he gently woke you up by running his finger down the bridge of your nose.

“Hey sunshine.” He cooed with a smile. “If you sleep any more, you’re not gunna be able to sleep tonight.” You whined and rolled over on to your back, startling the slightest bit when Gage was laid down on your chest. His giggle made a smile pull at the corner of your lips and you opened your eyes to see his blue eyes staring back at you.

“Well hi there handsome.” You cooed as you put your hands on his back to keep him from rolling off you. “Did you have a fun day with Daddy?”

“We went down to the pool.” Colson said with a smile as he laid down against your side. “And we went swimming for a little bit. Then we went to the atrium and looked at all the plants… and we took some pictures for Mommy and let Mommy catch up on sleep because Daddy’s a fuck head.”

“Daddy is a fuck head.” You giggled as you tilted your head to the side a bit to look at Gage’s new hair style. “And giving out free mohawks?”

“Well I knew you would be pissed if I cut it and he was starting to look a little androgynous…”

“Ooo, big word.”

“Fuck you.” He grumbled as he reached up and fixed the ‘hawk. “So I made my son look bad ass.”

“I would have killed you if you cut his hair.” You said with a small nod as you looked over at him. “But I’m digging the mohawk.”

“It’s fucking bad ass.” He chuckled with a smile. “We’re gunna have to get special EST shit for him since 19 doesn’t work.”

“We both need new tattoos.” You said with a nod as you poked the 19XX tattoo on his collarbone that matched the one across your hip bone. “Fuck, now I want a new tattoo.”

“We should get matching tats for Gage.”

“What the fucking six we already have ain’t enough for you?”

“Bitch.” He groaned as he flicked you in the temple. “Keep that shit up and I’ll call the sitter back and you can order fucking pizza for dinner of some shit.”

“What sitter?” You snapped as you looked over at him with your eyebrow raised. “I’m not leaving him…”

“Relax.” He said as he propped his head up on his fist. “I called Ashleigh. She’s got a niece and she used to baby sit when she was younger all the fucking time. I trust her not to fuck up our kid.”

“Colson, that in no fucking way, shape, or form reassures me.”

“Oh fucking suck it up.” He laughed as he pushed himself up. “We’re going up the fucking block to dinner to get on the same fucking page about shit, OK? Now get your ass up, get into that smokin hot black dress that makes that ass look so fucking good, and let’s go fucking eat some fucking steak like a couple’a sexy carnivores.”

“I’m not going.” You said with a shake of your head as you held Gage to your chest a little tighter.

“Yes… you are.” Colson said, simply as he came over and picked up his son. “Hey, little man. You gunna stay with Ash tonight so Daddy can smooth talk Mommy into his pants again?”

“Richard Colson Baker!” You snapped as you got out of bed and whipped around to look at him. “No sexcapades talk to the baby!”

“Oh, Daddy’s getting lucky tonight.”

——

“Kels! Kels, over here!”

“(Y/N)! Are you finally going back to Penthouse?”

“Where’s your son?”

“Here, baby. Over here.” Colson said softly as he let go of your hand and put it on the small of your back. “Guys! Can you fuckin’ move and let her walk, please?!” You stuttered a bit and stopped walking when someone with a giant camera stopped at the curb in front of you.

“Guys, please?” You asked as you put your hand up in front of your face to shield your eyes from the camera flashes to look for the town car that was supposed to be picking you up.

“Yo, fucking move!” Kels roared as the camera people kept taking their photos and not giving a damn about either of your privacy as they fought to get one of the first photos of you and Colson out in public together. Your hand flew out to catch his fist before he swung on the man with the camera in your face.

“I won’t ask you again.” You growled evenly as you stepped around the photographer.

“Babe!” Colson shouted as he grabbed your arm and yanked you back on the sidewalk as the car came screeching to a stop where you had just been standing and only a few inches away from the man with the camera. You stumbled into his chest and the paparazzi actually stopped taking pictures for a moments. “Go, go.” Colson said quickly as he ran in front of you and ripped open the back door of the car. You sprinted on your toes in your heels and ducked around him into the car at the same moment the photographers started to take their photos again.

“Drive!” You said as Kels slammed the door behind himself. “Just drive!” You ducked your head below the seat and realized that you were actually panting to catch your breath as Colson whipped around and cupped your face in his hands.

“Holy fuck… are you OK? Jesus, come here.” You shook your head as he pulled you into his arms with a heavy sigh. “Fuck, that fucking car was right there.”

“I’m fine.” You sighed as you sat up and flipped your hair back. “Jesus, Colson. I said yes to dinner, not to being fucking mauled.”

“OK, are you at least fucking OK? Scared the fucking shit outta me.”

“How the fuck did they even know we were staying at a fucking hotel?”

“Because I was down in the fucking lobby with Gage.” Colson sighed as he leaned back against his seat. He gave the driver the address of the restaurant and huffed as he looked over at you with a smile. “At least you look hot.”

“You’re an asshole.” You laughed as you pulled your phone from your bag to check your hair and makeup. “Knew I should have stayed in bed with my son.”

“Wrong. You get to party it up with me instead starting right now. Yay!” You looked over at him and did a double take as he shook a small vial of coke between his fingers.

“Wait, you’re serious?” You hissed as you glanced up at your man.

“You quit breastfeeding just this week.” He said as he unscrewed the vial. “And I want my party girl back. Even if it is for one night.” You bit your cheeks to hide your smirk as he poured out a bump on his hand and held it out between the two of you. “Come on, baby. Fly with me.”

“You are a very, very bad influence.” You whispered as you carefully pulled his hand up a bit to snort the coke down. You shivered at the distantly familiar burn and sniffled as you sat up straight. “Bad influence, Colson. So, so bad.”

“How the fuck else did we get Gage?” He teased as he did a bump himself before pouring one more out for you. “Quick, we’re here.”

“Horrible.” You muttered as you did the last bump. “Fuck, that’s good shit.”

“Welcome home, baby girl.” Colson said as he slid the vial into the nice leather jacket he had on. “Welcome home.”

Part 6