#she should have been at the gay little wine bar having one glass of rose and immediately getting weird

[antoinettecoswayupdates]

I understand the ‘jane should have been at the club’ sentiment but what exactly would she be doing at the club. she would hate the club

[oro-e-diamanti]

The one with the matchmaking

My masterlist

Description | Victoria is desperate to set you and Thomas up... Might there be a spark already?

Content | Fluff

Pairing | fem!Reader x Thomas

Word Count | 2663

Taglist (add yourself here!) | @mywritingonlyfans @damianodavide @lizstans @its-afucking-mess @ethaneskin @dont-let-me-drown-in-you @vampirtet @lividisuigomiti @tabi-toast @ethan-torchio-angelo @cheese-toastie-11 @thewitchinthemountain @ethanesimp @sofckinelectric @man3skin @daddydamiano @finelinejpm @superchrystaldrug @ginny-lily @nientedaridere @shaunthesheesh @damianodavidhands @teatrodellavita @coven-daddy @solasullabarca @foryourllove @makapaka11 @slave4yourlove @geklutst-ei @marriedwithmarktuan @bookish0918 @mehrmonga @ginny-lily @ohtorchio @messyhairday-me @bidet-and-legolas @maybanksslut @katyldamusic @fuckim-so-gay @demoiselle-en-detresse00

***

There had been an unspoken thing between you and Thomas from the first day you met. It was one of those right person, wrong time scenarios. Both of you were happily taken by other people, loving your partners, and leading healthy relationships. It simply hadn't been meant to be and both of you had gladly accepted it. Nothing had ever happened, despite the others insisting there must have, neither of you was like that. So you stayed friends with him, the same way you stayed friends with Victoria, Damiano, and Ethan and it didn't take long for the five of you to grow into a loving group, a chosen family. That was until both you and Thomas happened to have broken up with your respective partners within the same week. It was safe to say that it didn't take long for the meddling to start.

***

"I just think they'd make such a good couple!" Victoria said, pushing the empty beer bottles around on the table in annoyance. "They're basically made for each other."

"Leave it, Vic," Ethan said. The dark of the bar was hiding his features and the fact he was slightly rolling his eyes. "They both literally just got out of relationships, I don't think they're interested."

"But they both ended them so it's not like they've been broken up with," she insisted. "I'm sure they'll get over it quickly enough."

"Yeah I agree with Vic," Damiano added. "It's not like either of them seems all that heartbroken."

"Exactly, which is why we need to act now!"

"I still don't think it's a good idea," Ethan sighed. "Just let them figure it out on their own."

"But they're idiots! They'll never figure it out!"

Damiano couldn't help laugh out loud. He knew his friend was onto something, both Thomas and Y/n tended to be hilariously oblivious when it came to things like these.

"Maybe they just need a little push," he agreed.

"Fine." A deep sigh escaped Ethan. "But don't say I didn't warn you if it doesn't work out."

***

The moment you stepped into the vintage second-hand store you decided it was heaven on earth. It didn't take long for you to sweep through the place like a whirlwind, picking up pieces left and right, leaving Victoria and Thomas standing at the entrance still. You didn't care, this was one of your favourite places and you were not going to be held back because those two were slow. You tried on a dress that looked like an absolute mess on you and you quickly took a picture to laugh at later with the others, before trying on some trousers that you really took a liking to. You were still in them, trying to figure out if you had also grabbed a top that would match when someone knocked on the wood of the changing room. Confused and not certain if the noise was directed at you, you pulled back the curtain to come face to face with Thomas. He noticed you were in your bra before you did.

You raised your eyebrows, overly amused at how he was nervously looking around to figure out if anyone else would be able to see her, but no one seemed to be around. As he turned back, he tried not to let his gaze fall into her chest again, but failed miserably. You laughed heartily, "It's fine, stop blushing, Thomas."

He grinned, more relaxed not that he knew you didn't mind. He shouldn't, this being far from the first time he'd seen you like this.

"Vic told me to give you this dress to try on."

You looked at the piece of fabric he handed you, a gorgeous, velvety black, knee-high dress with a dangerous slit and a plunging neckline. It wasn't something you would have chosen yourself, but you trusted Vic's judgment. The curtain was quickly closed again, removing the trousers you had already decided on and slipped on the dress. It fell in a much nicer way than you had anticipated, easily smoothing itself over your curves and settling perfectly in place. The mirror agreed with your sentiment - you looked gorgeous. Okay, so this dress would do with a bit more makeup and without a bra, but it was a no-brainer that you were going to buy it.

You ripped open the curtain, now facing both of your friends. As soon as Vic saw you, she seemed as smitten with it as you were. Thomas looked stunned in his own way but stayed quiet.

"Fuck, I knew that was your dress!" Victoria shouted, obviously proud of herself for picking it out.

"Where am I ever going to wear this?" You asked, spinning to muster your reflection once again.

"When I take you out tomorrow night," Vic grinned. "There's a gorgeous new restaurant in town but it's fancy fancy, so this will do just fine."

You couldn't help but squint your eyes at her through the mirror. Her suggestion sounded just fine, but the way her eyes flickered made you feel like there was something more to the story.

***

"Wait, so how will you going out with her to dinner help, exactly?"

"Oh, Damiano, stop being so dumb. Obviously, I won't go."

"I don't get it."

"I'll have some sort of last-minute emergency, and since both of you will be out of the house, Thomas will have to step in."

Ethan sighed, shaking his head at his friend's plan.

"Why do you have to meddle so much, Vic?"

"Because those two don't get it. But once they see each other all dressed up, romantic dinner, candles, good wine, it'll click."

"Whatever you say."

***

"Oh my god, Y/n, I'm so sorry!" Victoria burst into your room, Chili cradled in her arms and an apologetic look on her face. "I know we said we'd go to that fancy restaurant tonight, but Chili's been coughing and the vet told me to come in immediately."

You side-eyed the little white dog, looking as happy as can be, but there was no reason for you not to trust Victoria. Right? You briefly petted Chili's head.

"Don't worry about it, we can always go some other time."

"No!" Her outburst surprised you. "I mean, it's so difficult to get a reservation there and you should wear your dress out. Damiano and Ethan are out, but I'm pretty sure Thomas is free, please ask him, he'd probably love to go with you!"

You wanted to scold Victoria, tell her this wasn't happening, tell her you'd be fine just staying home, but she didn't give you a chance to do any of it. Instead, she left your room, immediately shouting for her bandmate. It was the reason you found yourself at a candlelit dinner with the blond man mere hours later.

"You look amazing, by the way," Thomas said. Well, he actually kind of mumbled it into his pasta rather than proudly state it. You felt like blushing.

"So do you, love. But you know I love you in a suit."

Your eyes met, just for a moment, before both of you found yourselves awkwardly staring back at your plates again. You didn't know why you were behaving like this, or why he was, you could only attribute it to the fact that this felt like an overly romantic date and the waiter had referred to you as his girlfriend multiple times already. Neither of you had corrected him. You hadn't minded the single rose that had been placed between you on the table, accompanied by a little wink and a smile by the waiter.

"You know, you make a lousy boyfriend, not even bringing me flowers for our date, " you teased, watching as a shy smile appeared on Thomas' face, his eyes travelling down the table for a second before looking at you again with more than a twinkle.

"I did take you to the nicest restaurant in town, surely that gets me some points?"

The giggle bubbled over your lips easily. Everything came easy with Thomas. He made the troubles disappear with one look, one touch of a hand, a single word, a gesture, his existence. He was your own personal cure to everything.

***

"No, I'm telling you, it worked," Victoria excitedly gasped and she gathered in the kitchen with Damiano and Ethan, trying to stay as inconspicuous as possible. "You should have seen them when they came back!"

"Did you actually wait up for them?" Ethan asked, slightly disbelieving, slightly amused.

"Well, they didn't know obviously! I just cracked my bedroom door open a bit. But they were all giggly and happy and they hugged when they said goodnight!"

"Vic, we all hug all the time," Damiano threw in.

"Not the way they did. I'm serious, this is working and you'll see soon enough!"

"So what's the next idea then?"

"I'm... I'm not quite sure," she admitted. "But I'll figure it out and it'll be perfect."

***

The thunderstorm hadn't been predicted by any of the weather channels. You found yourself standing in front of the patio doors with Thomas, watching the heavy rain disturb the surface or the pool, trees swaying in the wind, a flash of light illuminating the garden in regular intervals. It had only been the two of you home when it had started, everyone else out to meet friends or sitting in a bar with a drink in their hand. You had been having a lazy day, unwilling to leave the house at all, while Thomas had slept for so long no one had bothered trying to wake him so he could join in on plans.

"Do you want to compare our favourite records?"

You had been so focused on the happenings outside of the glass that you almost flinched in surprise at his question. Still, a slight smile, the right kind of look, and you were nodding enthusiastically. Hasting up the stairs, barefoot and in nothing but shorts and the shirt you usually slept in, you went through the little collection you had brought to the summer house, already hearing the first notes of Led Zeppelin's Black Dog echoing downstairs. With a smile on your face, you grabbed a few records and bolted back down to Thomas.

"I still prefer Led Zeppelin III," you giggled, only to be greeted with Thomas' shocked face. "Anything that has Immigrant Song on it is a hit, really."

"Blasphemy! Nothing tops IV, and you clearly have no taste."

"You clearly have no taste considering you think anything Led Zeppelin has put out is better than Fleetwood Mac's Rumours." You barely waited for the first song of Thomas' album of choice to finish playing before interrupting it with the sound of Second Hand News.

It didn't take long for the conversation to get heated. Still, you kept playing your record in the background, effortlessly dodging his effort to change it, even though the whole thing had been his idea in the first place. He was still complaining, explaining, talking to a wall basically, as you danced around the living room, as the music flowed through you, singing along, thunder only happens when it's raining, as the weather outside did its worst.

"I just think it's much too sad, most of it," Thomas finally concluded.

"Doesn't that just make it so beautiful though?"

"No, it just makes me sad," he pouted.

"Maybe you just never listened to it the way you should. In the arms of someone you love."

A heartbeat passed as both of you looked at each other, but then your smile returned and you motioned for him to get on the sofa with you, lying on your side as he slowly but surely moved in front of you. Your arms wrapped around him, spooning him, making you feel safer than you ever have as Songbird played in quiet tones.

Your nose buried itself in his hair, letting his smell fill your every pore, taking over your whole being as you pressed into him, singing along in nothing but a whisper.

"And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before."

***

"Guys, guys, guys, look at that!" Victoria called out to her friends as they quietly made their way into the house. "I knew it would be such a good idea to leave them alone in the house!"

"Vic, it's not like you made a thunderstorm come along, I'm pretty sure this was not your doing for once," Damiano whispered.

"Doesn't matter! Look at them spooning! We're on the right way, guys!"

"We're not on any way," Ethan threw in. "You keep trying to meddle and the two of them are going their own ways."

"They just need another push. I just gotta think of something."

***

"Hey, they let you feed the goats here!" Victoria squealed as everyone around her let out a groan. The zoo was bustling with people, the five friends surrounded by families, and Vic easily fell in line with the children's excitement.

"Vic, I really really don't like goats," you complained. "I'd rather not get their attention because I got food in my hands."

"Fine. How about you go see the owls over there with... Thomas, and I go feed some adorable goats with Ethan and Damiano?"

The both of you allowed yourselves to be pushed away easily, chuckles on your faces as you walked away from the rest of the group, dodging running toddlers as you went.

"So, this is a set-up, huh?" Thomas grinned next to you as his arm slid around your waist, pulling you closer.

"Oh, as if Victoria has been doing anything these past weeks without hidden intentions." You let yourself mold into Thomas' side, leaning in closer until your bodies were touching as much as physically possible. "She's not half as subtle about this as she thinks. I'm sure she's watching right now."

You didn't turn around, but you felt her eyes on the pair of you, watching your every move and trying to figure out what was going on between the two of you.

"Do you wanna give her a show?" You playfully pinched his site, looking at him from the corner of your eyes just to see a smile appear on his face that was surely mirroring yours. "Make out a little bit?"

"Wouldn't that give it away?" He stopped walking, now wrapping both of his arms around you as you leaned on his chest, looking up at him.

"I'm sure she'd still think it's just a first step in the right direction."

Not waiting for his response, your hand reached up to his face, slowly stroking along the soft skin of his cheek, thumb running over his lower lip as his smile grew, then reaching around, tangling them into his hair and pulling him down to you. His lips met yours in a sigh, warm and lovely, a tingling feeling spreading through you immediately, pressing yourself into him. You could feel his thumb stroking your back ever so slightly as he held you. He wanted more, slowly moving his lips, trying to deepen the kiss, but you pulled away. Close enough to still feel his breath on you, close enough that whispering would be enough.

"Now, we don't want Vic to figure it all out immediately," you grinned before putting more distance between the two of you. He groaned, making you giggle, before taking your hand and pulling you along.

"How much longer are you planning to keep this up?" Thomas asked, shaking his head, but still amused. "We've been together for two weeks."

"Pretty sure she already bought tickets for the cinema for me and her for Wednesday... which she'll inexplicably have no time for so you'll have to come along, obviously. I can give you a hickey in the dark theater, she'll freak."

Thomas laughed out loud, pressing a single kiss to the top of your head.

"Fine. One more date, that's it?"

"One more date."

[drivingsideways]

Hey talk to me about your top three favourite kdrama women. What makes them special? What's a fic you would like to write about any one of them?

Mystery anon! :D What a lovely ask. 

I’m going to cheat a bit and divide my answer into characters I loved a lot, but do not want to write fic about, because I think the canon gives me what I need; and characters that I loved a lot but NEED TO BE RESCUED ZOMG.  (My fic writing impulses are 50% spite and 50% fix-it )

Caveat being that I’ve still watched only maybe a dozen kdramas, so I’m pretty limited in my knowledge!

Characters that I love a lot, but have very zero fic impulses toward:

Han Yeo-jin from Stranger/Secret Forest: What a delight! What an iconique character! Is there anyone like her? NO. LSY-nim gives us a delightfully complex character, and Bae Doona knocks it out of the park in every single scene, so I’m just happy to be along for the ride. I think what makes Yeo-jin special for me is the intrinsic place of empathy that she operates from.  I think “righteous” is a word that often comes with negative connotations (self-righteous, for eg), but I do think she’s one of the most righteous-in-the-good-way characters I’ve watched in kdrama or any drama. I’m tired of stories that portray goodness as “boring” , as unworthy of narrative breadth or depth, and I love that Han Yeo-jin comes to us like a breath of fresh air in our particular dystopian narratives hellscape. She’s good, but never naive. She’s righteous but never cruel in her moral certainties.  I think that LSY nim, in the second season especially, gave Yeo-jin the kind of arc that character deserved when she’s forced to really dig deep into herself to figure out how she’s going to live in the world in the face of a deeply cutting, deeply personal disillusionment, and I’m really hoping for an S3 to see how that plays out further. 

Goo Hae-ryung from Rookie Historian: Ok, I will admit this may be rose tinted glasses view due to this show being my gateway drug into kdrama, but c’mon! She’s a reader! and a Thinker! And loves her wine! She’s plucky! She’s cute! She’s got a wry sense of humour! She’s got principles! She’s got a solid common sense to her that somehow doesn’t get in the way of her dreaming BIG! Oh dear, doesn’t she sound like the Mary-est of Mary Sues? Good for her.gif,  I say! Anyways, Shin Se-kyung is unutterably charming in this (AS IN EVERY SHOW OMG GIRL) and I just have a huge fondness for free-spirited heroines who get to tramp through the narrative changing the world as they do! 

Lee Ji-an from My Ahjussi: I’ve never had my heart broken more OR restored by any single character. IU is *phenomenal * in this, I think she really stepped up to what the script demanded from her. Ji-an’s weariness, her fear and vulnerability, her prickliness, her anger and her bitterness, and how, despite everything, she fights : GOD. Just. Again, what I love about the writing in this show is that it’s deeply empathetic without being cloyingly sentimental. I think a less, hmm, imaginative writer/PD might have focused on the Lee Ji-an the victim, and while the show definitely tells you in no uncertain terms that she is one,  of both circumstances and a cruel society, I think it refuses to take away her agency over her own life.(Lee Ji-an when we meet her is too busy hanging onto life by tooth and claw to indulge in self-pity, but we also see the toll it takes on her not to be able to say “this is too heavy a burden for me to carry myself and it isn’t my fault”; the show I think approaches Dong-hoon from the opposite side- his emotional isolation is partly a result of his own choices, but he doesn’t see it yet, and so his journey is also about letting people in and sharing the burden, but also recovering his own agency over his life. It’s an interestingly gender-bent arc, which is one of the things I love about this show. )

Ok, can I please add one more?

Hwang Han-joo from Melo is my Nature: She just felt SO real to me. She’s someone who doesn’t have the spectacular brilliance of either Jin-joo or Eun-jung, and struggles with accepting her limitations but not allowing herself to be defeated by them? I love her struggles as a mother, as a working woman in a sexist industry, a woman who’s perhaps having to rethink and reimagine what she wants from romance. I love that she’s a little silly, a lot kind, and an optimist, and just. I just think she’s the bravest of the three, tbh, and I LOVE HER AND I WOULD WATCH A SPIN OFF ABOUT JUST HER (i shouldn’t have faves among the three i know, BUT I DO, IT’S HER, IT’S HER.)

Ok! On to the next section! And I’m going to cheat again because I can’t stop at three. SORRY. NOT SORRY. 

Characters I love and SHOULD write fic for if I weren’t such a tired and lazy bunny:  

Song Sa-hui from Rookie Historian: Oh, girl, girl, GIRL. I love how she fights to snatch her freedom from the jaws of the patriarchy. I love that she unapologetically centers herself while doing that, because she knows that nobody else will.  I love that she’s prickly and calculating. I love that she’s smart and knowledgeable. I am SO HAPPY that she got to carve out a little bit of freedom for herself, even if it also is exile to some degree. She *should * be Emperor Jin’s Prime Minister and steering the ship of state, while also carrying on a tumultous affair with Queen Min Woo-hee, while ALSO commiserating with Emperor Jin about his boyfriend Historian Min Woo-won’s regrettable tendency towards Principles (TM) and masochism-but-not-in-the-fun-way. (This takes up much of his time which is why Song Sa-hui is running the country, of course. It works out well for all concerned, well, except her dad, of course.)

Song Ga-gyeong from Search:WWW: What’s NOT to love about our brilliant, beautiful, emotionally tortured gay icon? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I loved how the show allowed her to be flawed and make bad decisions, and then allowed her to make better decisions and regain control of her life. What I do need to do, of course, is see the CANON LOVE STORY between her and Cha Hyeon through to the end. It must, of course, include at least one baseball game, a lot of tequila and messy beach kisses. 

Oh Ji-hwa from Beyond Evil: Oh boy, this year’s runaway hit cleared the extremely low bar for standard crime/ thriller shows by leaving more than one of its female characters breathing and with all limbs intact, and got called feminist for it BUT it didn’t do justice to any of them in any meaningful way and that never hurt more than in the way they sidelined Kim Shin-rok’s talent by not giving Oh Ji-hwa anything much to do. She’s a tough as nails cop, a loving sister, a devoted but unsentimental friend-and by rights SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE HEROINE OF THIS SHOW. My secret fic fantasy is to rewrite the show entirely by making her , and the two other female characters in non-antagonist roles- Yoo Jae-yi and Im Sun-nyeo- as the central characters, as they investigate a serial killer who targets women.  It’s the only acceptable version of this done-to-death (ha!) genre, I have no idea what the Baeksang jury and tumblr fandom is smoking when they hype the show so much, I want none of it. 

Jung Sun-ah from The Devil Judge: I love her rage, her spite, her passionate defense of women, her style, her sexiness, her rage, her rage, her brilliance, her tenaciousness, her smartness, her clothes, her refusal to hate herself for everything she is and chooses to be, her ambition, her comfort wielding power, her EVERYTHING. Dead, her? NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT. Here’s what *really * happened at the end of canon- she gets out of the building by planting that lady-like but still deadly gun against Kang Yo-han’s temple and making him lead her through his own “secret escape route” or whatever the fuck it was the show wanted us to believe. From there on out, it’s all sunshine and beaches, and scheming and waiting for the right moment to strike again-though of course, this time around, she also has to reckon with vigilant, tenacious cop Soo-hyun -another character who REALLY didn’t die for manpain reasons and had the good sense to leave her gay best friend to follow his psychopath boyfriend to Switzerland or wherever it is that star crossed lovers in kdrama land meet up on the regs these days- anyways, Soo-hyun and her are in this catch-me-if-you-can epic transnational honest and cute cop-and-beautiful sexy villain chase and yes, they WILL kiss (and more) AND IT WILL BE GLORIOUS. 

*whew *

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

[acephysicskarkat]

Duet

I was just packing up from practicing in my garage when Rosetta shot bolt upright.

Rosetta’s my dragon.  She’s mostly a blue, but there aren’t any blue breeds that are crestbacks, so there’s definitely some other stuff in there.  Her crest is also malformed, so it flops over to the right all the time instead of standing straight up like crests are supposed to.  When I got my undercut, I made sure it flopped over to the right as well, so we matched.  She seems to appreciate the ‘do when she’s riding on my shoulder.

Anyway, Rosetta’s awesome. Smarter than some people I’ve met, although to be fair I’ve met some really dumb people.  Also, I’ve managed to teach her to play the drums.  Some dragons have an amazing sense of music.

In this case, though, she’d apparently heard something in the bushes – yes, even though we’d both just been rocking out for the last twenty minutes.  I don’t know how her ears work.  I put down my electric guitar and went to have a look…

…and found a white dragon.

I looked up a lot of dragon breeds when I was a kid and obsessed with them, so I recognised him as a purebred at once.  Specifically, he was a seraph – a rare and very expensive featherwing breed, with a long, wavy feather sticking out the back of his head like a ponytail.

“Hey there, little guy,” I said, keeping my voice gentle and sing-song – at least, as far as I could. “Someone’s gotta be missing you. Come on, I’m not gonna hurt you…”

Cold fangs nipped at my fingers, but after a few moments, the newcomer seemed to decide I could be trusted.  A heart-shaped tag on a simple but expensive-looking collar told me that this was Ludwig, and gave an address.  Needless to say, it was on the rich side of town; if you lived anywhere else, getting a seraph would probably leave you in a cardboard box.

“You up for a trip, little buddy?” I said, and  Ludwig hopped up onto my wrist.  “Great. Let’s go find your owner.”

***

The house Ludwig’s collar pointed me at wasn’t the biggest in the district, but since my house is basically six rooms including the garage, which doesn’t even have a car in it, it still made my place look like a shoebox.  And here I was carrying a dragon probably worth as much as a car.

Some low, shitty part of me whispered that I should just run away and sell the thing, but I felt the comforting weight of Rosetta on my shoulder and shut that thought down.  I knew how I’d feel if Rosetta went missing. I wasn’t going to inflict that on anyone, not even for a big sack of money.

I was just about to knock on the door when it swung open and all my brain’s resources were assigned to Being Gay simultaneously.

She was gorgeous. Blue eyes, a tight ponytail of night-dark hair, wearing a tailored shirt and elegant pants, carrying a handbag that probably cost more than anything I’d ever owned and holding a bundle of Missing Dragon posters with Ludwig’s picture on them and the legend “IF FOUND, CALL GWYNEIRA” and a number I couldn’t quite make out.  Standing there in my leather jacket, pride pins on full display, an old skirt, hand-repaired glasses and big, tough boots, I felt like a nail driven into a classical painting.  I had no business being here and I knew it.

After a frozen second, her face broke into a smile.  “You found him!  Thank you so much!”

“Uh.”  My brain whirred for a few agonisingly slow seconds, and then some parts of it kicked into gear.  “He was hanging around my garage.  Must have heard my music and thought it sounded interesting.”

“Oh, a fellow musician!” she said.  “What instrument, pray tell?”

“Well, I dabbled when I was a kid, but these days I mostly stick with the axe.”

“Axe?  You mean a weapon?”

“No, I mean an electric-” A stray neuron sparked back to life. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

She gave a too-innocent wide-eyed look and then started laughing.  After a few moments, I did too.

She reached out, and Ludwig hopped across from my wrist to hers.  She waggled a finger under the dragon’s snub little nose and said, “I hope you won’t be pulling any more disappearing acts, Ludwig.”  Ludwig gave a smug, catlike smile and hopped up to her shoulder, and she turned back to me, reaching into her bag.  “I didn’t have time to put the posters up, but I was planning to give a reward for finding him-”

Take the money, Vetra, you dumbass, the parts of my brain that were functioning said.  Your amp is so old it was designed for the mandolin. Take the money, stick it in a jar, and when you have enough money, buy an amp that isn’t held together with baling twine.

Then my mouth, operating entirely independently from those parts, said, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure?”  When my treacherous head nodded, she said, “Then at least allow me to buy you dinner.”

***

I was crammed into the only halfway decent dress I owned and had eaten something about half the size of an actual proper meal, but somehow I was still having a great time.

“So then we found the drummer hanging from the tree, in his underwear, rope around his ankle, and all he had to say when we let him down was, ‘I hate chipmunks.’”  Gwyneira choked back a laugh, and I shook my head.  “The band didn’t last long after that, although the bass player still crashes on my couch when he’s in town.”

“Such an…adventurous lifestyle,” she said, and sipped her wine.  

“But I’ve probably rambled long enough.”  I stabbed what I had been assured was the correct fork into a too-small morsel of chicken and said, “You said you were a musician, but you haven’t even told me what instrument.”

“Oh, how rude of me.” She cut a slice off…well, I don’t speak French, so whatever it was she was eating, and said, “I’m a violinist.”

“Huh.  Just as a hobby, or-”

“Professionally.”  She adjusted the cuffs on her suit, an outfit choice that was just deeply unfair.  “Have you ever studied much classical music?”

Show her how smart you are.  “Tell the truth, uh…I never really got into it.  I like my music with a bit more impact to it, you know?”  I mimed shredding on the air guitar.  Nailed it.

“I think I can show you plenty of impact,” she said, her delicate features arranged into a cocky smirk. “Come to my place tomorrow afternoon, and bring your…‘axe’.”

***

Rosetta took a deep breath and spat lightning into the amplifier.  For some reason, dragon thunder-breath doesn’t just charge a battery; it keeps it charging.  I scratched her behind the ear, and she grinned up at me, then spread her wings and soared over to the drums.

Ludwig raised his head from the piano, and Gwyneira started to play.

Notes didn’t fall from the violin; they rose, soaring into the air like birdsong.  Her voice, just as high and pure, mingled with it, underscored but never challenged by the slow, measured notes of Ludwig on the piano.

It was beautiful, but I wasn’t just here to listen.

I was here to play.

As the notes from the violin started to die away, I flicked my plectrum between my fingers like an old-time riverboat hustler playing with a coin.  Rosetta chose the tempo, her bunched-up claws striking the drums, a drumstick wrapped in her tail striking a cymbal, and my axe sang as I began: not the high, pure note of birdsong, but the howl of an iron wolf.

After a few bars, the piano started up again, but without its previous dignity and reserve.  Ludwig, apparently, relished the chance to cut loose a bit.  His claws struck the keys with speed rather than precision, keeping up with the beat of the drum and the snarl of the electric guitar, mixing in the occasional, perfectly timed glissando.

Then the violin’s song started up again.

Gwyneira’s eyes were closed, but she was keeping up with the much faster tempo like she was born to it, her bow dancing over the strings.  Her violin and my guitar weaved notes around each other, twining together like the tails of dragons in love.  It was like we were instinctively opening spaces for the other to slip into, letting the instruments work together rather than battle for dominance.

It was the kind of jam session you usually only get once in a lifetime.

***

Anyway, that’s how I met my girlfriend.

I own some nicer clothes, now.  I speak a little French.  And, you know, I’m starting to get along with classical music.  I mean, give me the faster ones any day – you should hear my cover of Rondo Alla Turca on the electric guitar, it’ll knock your socks off – but, you know, we meet halfway.

And I mean halfway.  Gwyneira looks like a goddess in anything, but when she’s let her hair out of its ponytail?  When she’s at a rock concert, just letting it all out, headbanging along? It’s amazing.  She’s amazing.

There have been challenges – you try finding good homes for an entire clutch of half-seraph, half-mongrel dragon hatchlings sometime – but we’re going pretty damn well.  She’s even talked about starting a proper band – weaving classical and rock together.

And if that never comes to pass?  If we can’t get a gig or find a good rhythm guitar?  At least we can still jam together.

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game - CH102

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

----

Chapter 102: Slaughter Secret Society (IV)

{cw: sexual stereotyping}

When the rain stopped the next day, Qi Leren, who had been exercising at home for half a day, received a banquet invitation from a bat sent by Mrs. Kathleen. Qi Leren put the invitation letter in his inventory and went into the bathroom with deep pain - the make-up.

Yes, this was also a new skill he had mastered in ten days. Except for the red tattoo on the corner of his eye, which was painted with special material and had to be erased with special chemicals, all the other dressings have to be prepared by himself. Of course, these styles were all designed by the Trials Office, and strived to make anyone think at first sight that he was a gay man with a good “yooooo” aesthetic.

Qi Leren did not protest against this, but he insisted that a person's sexual orientation could not be judged from his appearance. Even if he was dressed in a straight style, it didn’t mean that his sexual orientation was straight. However, the court rejected his opinion, and their purpose was to make him look like a gay man. As for whether he was or not, the Court indicated that they couldn’t control him.

Half an hour later, Qi Leren looked at his unrecognizable self in the mirror and felt melancholy.

Although make-up was a good skill to have, a man doing it would be treated as a pervert…

After finishing crossdressing, Qi Leren finally examined himself in front of the mirror. Today's clothes weren’t low-necked and open-navel, but it looked strange after being accessorized with a collar. It was like going to an S&M party with a whip tied around the waist.

Qi Leren repeatedly hypnotized himself. Right now he was Red, not Qi Leren, so he walked out of the house with his head held high. Of course, in order to keep a low profile, he still put on his cloak.

On the way to the party, Qi Leren vaguely felt that someone seemed to be following him, probably from the Court, but he didn't care. Soon he came to the place written on the invitation letter.

The present destination seemed to be a small bar, which was located in the area of the Twilight Township where most NPCs were concentrated. The handsome waiter outside the door asked him if he had an invitation letter, and after seeing the invitation letter sandwiched between Qi Leren's fingers, he greeted him respectfully.

The feeling of being followed disappeared, and Qi Leren followed the waiter through the lively dance floor and walked into a quiet corridor.

"Keep walking along the hall, there is a door at the end, and someone will show you the way," said the waiter.

Qi Leren snorted lightly, stuffed the common currency used between NPCs in Nightmare World into the waiter's collar, and whispered in his ear lightly: "Thank you for guiding me, baby."

The waiter turned red, and some took a step back in a panic. He bowed and left under the teasing gaze of Qi Leren. The speed was much faster than when he came, for fear of losing his virginity if he took a slow step.

Qi Leren’s "evil charm smile" had already reached an advanced level in the business of flirting with straight men, and he walked slowly to the waiter at the end of the corridor... Well, he had already seen the waiter opposite’s face pale. Good, it seemed that this was also a straight man, easy to flirt with.

“It's fun to flirt with straight men” ——BY Qi Leren, who was having bitter fun.

After walking to the waiter and speaking flirtily, Qi Leren smoothly entered the space hidden in the bar’s basement. After the humble door was opened, mirrors and masks were hung on both sides of the wall behind the door. Each mask was beautifully decorated, looking gorgeous and elegant. Qi Leren couldn't help but pay more attention to it.

"Are you Mr. Red? Welcome, welcome." Ashley, the young man who had been saved by Qi Leren, came out from the corner and spoke with awe and excitement.

After being rescued by Red yesterday, Ashley has been thinking about this mysterious predecessor, and he was also very concerned about the man who’d played against Red. He vaguely felt that there was some kind of entanglement between them. After he told Mrs. Kathleen about it, Mrs. Kathleen just smiled and touched his cheek, saying that she also liked to play with the hierophants of the Holy See. Somehow, Ashley's heart was full of acidity.

Across from him Red nodded lightly, not caring about his complicated mood.

Ashley took a masquerade mask off from the wall and put it on his face: "Mr. Red should also choose one. Our party is a masquerade, and everyone will be wearing a mask."

With that said, he secretly looked at the side of Red’s face. He still looked so cold, but so charming, the delicate side of his face and that red tattoo in the yellow light filling him with a sense of colourful desire. With a smile on his face, he squinted at him, and his vapid, feminine voice sounded, "Oh? Why don't you choose for me?"

Ashley's face turned red and he felt overwhelmed under Red’s gaze, and even the wound from being stabbed by the Trail didn’t hurt.

"I... I think this one is very nice and suitable for you, predecessor," Ashley said pointing to one of the masks.

The mask was a half-piece, covering only the upper half of the face and covered with golden wire-drawing. There were two bright red patterns at the position of the tear groove, just like two tears, and the corner of the mask had a moon-like arc, just to reveal the tattoo on his face.

Red stretched out his hand and took the mask off the wall, putting it on his face. The silver mask made him mysterious and elegant, while the tattoo exposed in the hollow part added a few charm points to him. He looked in the mirror on the wall for a while narcissistically, then turned to Ashley and said, "You have a good eye."

"Predecessor is the one who’s won the prize."

Ashley, who bowed his head as he spoke, suddenly saw a white and beautiful hand appear in front of his eyes. The slender index finger lifted his chin. He raised his face in panic and saw Red’s face close to his. The half-mask covered his upper face, but it highlighted the charming curve of his bright red lips. He was so close that he almost touched the tip of Ashley’s nose.

"Don't waste me saving your life. So... How are you going to repay me?" Red whispered in his ear.

Ashley's comely face suddenly rose with crimson, and he glanced at Red in a panic, and then, under his smiling gaze, he closed his eyes tightly, with a shy appearance allowing this to continue.

"..." Play, play it off!

Qi Leren growled in his heart, and stood stiffly in the same place, lying in the trough, talking about a good straight man! He's a straight man pretending to be gay, and of course he only goes after straight men! What's wrong with you, you little gay! He’d only done this twice yet already gotten caught by it?! People shouldn’t respond this well!

Ashley, who didn't wait for the kiss, secretly opened his eyes. The mysterious man who hooked his chin smiled lightly and bit him full on the earlobe: "You’re so cute."

With that said, Red stepped back and blew him a kiss, swaying into the underground corridor.

Ashley gawked at his back, and the earlobe he’d bitten was burning hot. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Obviously he only liked women, but it was as if he’d been poisoned when he saw how attractive and charming the predecessor Red was. Even if he was a man, his heart beat faster for him.

Was it because the predecessor Red had saved him that he had that kind of nestling complex?

Ashley shook his head to dismiss the blushing thoughts and quickly chased after him.

The low-key bronze door opened, loud music suddenly burst out, and gorgeous lights lit the basement, illuminating the room full of men and women having fun. Mrs. Kathleen, draped in tulle and leaning against the Roman column by the door, wore a feather mask and held a glass of bright wine. She showed a charming smile to Red as he stood at the door: "Welcome to our carnival feast. Have fun."

After Red paused, he looked around at the men and women who were dressed revealingly and whispered, "My pleasure."

In fact, at this moment, Qi Leren's heart was broken: Hello, is this 110? Someone here is having a divine feast of the body, gathering people to have sex and wreak chaos. Come and save me!!!

-----

Editor’s Notes: Qi Leren’s just going around the Nightmare World causing everyone to have gay realizations lol. Happy Lunar New Year and Happy Valentine’s Day! <3

-----

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[reddie-fangirl24]

Reddie request: (maybe a college au??) where Eddie is self conscious of his body (he’s squishy and has a bit of a tummy) and Richie is highkey in love with him and reminds him how beautiful he is 😍

NOTE: I had a different idea for this request. I hope you enjoy the story!

Finally having a free night to themselves, Richie and Eddie were very eager to spend a long overdue evening together. Better yet, they had the entire weekend of freedom to enjoy some needed quality time. None of them knew that a divorce like Eddie’s could last this long and be so mentally exhausting. Myra wanted to take everything just because she was angry.

Shutting the car doors, Richie waited for Eddie until generously offering his hand out to him so they could walk together. Eddie was more than happy to hold his boyfriend’s hand, smiling from ear to ear. Physical affection like this never existed between him and Myra. It was overwhelming at first, but Eddie loved it, craving every soft touch from Richie.

“I don’t think I have ever been here, Rich,” Eddie remarked studying the building they were going into. The owners definitely went above and beyond in decorating this place. An entire rainbow was painted in bright colors on the exterior walls. 

“Just a little something different,” Richie said bringing Eddie close. Normally, this was a place he’d always avoid. Now, he heard good things about it that he had to experience what a gay bar was like. 

Once they were inside, Eddie was taken aback by the zany outfits customers wore. This was no regular bar, that was for sure. Richie never specified that they were going to a gay bar. Then again, Eddie wasn’t complaining. Anything for some time with his beloved. 

Taking a seat at the bar, an attractive man tended to them. His eyes instantly lit up the moment he looked at Eddie. Eddie was taken aback. He still thought nobody found him attractive aside from Richie. He must have been wrong. 

“What can I get for you?” he asked, curling his tongue.

Noticing, Richie gave the man a warning look. “I’ll have a Rose,” Eddie said, dodging his eye contact.

“Ah, a Rose drinker!” He leaned closer to Eddie relaxing his elbows on the counter. “I got a secret for you. Rose is my favorite drink, too.”

“Oh?” Eddie responded, utterly uninterested. 

“I’ll have a bourbon!” Richie interrupted his nose scrunching.

The server just eyed Richie, scrunching up his own nose. It was hard not to look at the man. He was very shapely, a bodybuilder to be precise. His hair was golden blonde. And his chin was cleft. He shaved, unlike how he was too lazy to shave some mornings. Everything that he wasn’t...

The bartender set the drinks down, hardly paying any attention to Richie. His drink slightly spilled on the table, close to Richie’s elbow. The server didn’t even give him a napkin. Leaning on his elbow, the man basked in Eddie’s eyes. Richie’s insides boiled, like a volcano. Someone wasn’t getting a tip tonight!

“When did you come to like Rose?” he inquired Eddie, still attempting to flirt with him.

Eddie was trying not to pay attention, looking around for any empty tables. Unfortunately, this place was packed. 

Then, smirking, Eddie took Richie’s hand, surprising the man who was busy fuming to himself. The bartender definitely took notice, even eyeing Richie once more. “I believe you introduced me to it, didn’t you, Richie?”

Getting the message, Richie smiled at him, and also looked at the jealous bartender. “I sure did, babe! You barely ever had a drink before.”

“That’s not true!” Eddie argued. “I’ve had many drinks before.”

“Not enough to get you drunk,” Richie retorted.

Eying Richie again in his envious rage, the bartender decided it was time to propel a new flirtatious technique. Now, he flexed his muscles. Once again, it was hard not to look at him.

“I work out at the gym three times a week,” he disclosed to the still uninterested Eddie.

“Good for you.” Eddie rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his wine.

“I like to stay in shape,” he continued. And then he looked in Richie’s direction. “Don’t want to end up with a ‘dad-bod.’”

Just then, someone asked for his assistance at the other end of the bar. Before leaving, he winked at Eddie.

That just about ruined the entire evening! Richie guzzled down his bourbon, nearly breaking the glass from how strong his grip was. Someone else flirting with Eddie right in front of him!

But, Richie couldn’t take his eyes off the bartender. He took care of himself, that’s for sure. And no glasses. Glasses were so annoying. Same with contacts. He liked sticking to wearing glasses, but they could be annoying at times. Was that what Eddie wanted? All there was to look at for himself was a flabby stomach. Or a dad-bod as the bartender called it.

For the remainder of the evening, Richie was quiet paying little attention to the band. That was always his favorite part when he went out. Eddie noticed something was the matter, too. He didn’t feel comfortable talking to Richie with the bartender hanging over his shoulder trying to get him another drink.

 When they finally returned home, Richie stood in front of the mirror as Eddie stepped into the shower. 

Should he start exercising? Eating better? Eddie didn’t deserve a guy like him. He was pathetic!

“Richie? What are you doing?”

Richie didn’t notice that the shower had stopped. “Uh, nothin’!” Richie almost fell over a table, trying to grab his shirt. 

Eddie frowned. “Is this about what happened tonight?”

“Well, the guy had the hots for yah!”

“I know,” Eddie answered distastefully.

That wasn’t the reaction Richie was expecting. “You mean, you don’t like him?”

“Richie, he was so rude! Why do you think I’d want to go after him?” 

“Well, he was handsome...”

Eddie raised his brow. “What do you mean by that?”

“Not like that, Eds!” Richie waved a hand, catching himself. “I mean, compared to that guy I’m not what you call... attractive...”

Eddie’s eyes changed to pity. “Rich, that’s not true! I adore your body!”

“Really?” Then Richie caught himself and smirked that playful grin. “Well, obviously. You haven’t been able to take your eyes off me!”

Eddie nodded, walked closer to him. “It’s one of my favorite attributes about you,” he purred, smoothing his hands down his chest, to his belly, and eventually to the lining of his pants. Richie just remembered that Eddie was still wrapped in a towel.

“Who needs a six-pack when I have you?” Eddie muttered, kissing him.

Richie sat down on the bed, like a proud statue. He placed his hand on Eddie’s towel, starting to pull. He sent kisses up Eddie’s stomach, listening to the man hum. “Glad you think so, Eds.”

Eddie crawled on Richie, kissing him.

“Is this a pity kiss?” Richie joked, staring into Eddie’s beautiful eyes.

Eddie shook his head. “No, it’s something more.”

And the lovers basked in the evening together.

[dewitty1]

I could be wrong, I could be ready

harryromper @harryromper

Chapters: 4/4 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Characters: Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Bill Weasley, Original Female Character(s), Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley, Andromeda Black Tonks, Teddy Lupin, Rose Weasley, Minerva McGonagall, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Portrait Fleamont Potter Additional Tags: Post-Hogwarts, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Second War with Voldemort, POV Alternating, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, Romance, Gringotts Wizarding Bank, wizarding houses, House magic, Magic, Families of Choice, Pureblood Culture (Harry Potter), Wizarding Traditions (Harry Potter), Magical Theory, Brooklyn, Roller Coasters, Socks, Quidditch Player Ginny Weasley, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Minor Hannah Abbott/Neville Longbottom, Professor Neville Longbottom, Curse Breaker Bill Weasley, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, Godric’s Hollow, Hogwarts, Grimmauld Place, H/D Erised 2018, Community: hd_erised, Lovers to Friends, Don’t copy to another site Summary:

At first Harry wonders if they’ve managed to destroy his vaults and are trying to tell him in the most oblique way possible. But when he turns the page he realises they’ve found a vault. A vault in the name of Lily and James Potter.

The parchment trembles a little in Harry’s hand. He takes another gulp of wine.

Harry Potter left Britain after the war and didn’t look back. Ten years later, when Gringotts discovers a vault containing his parents’ belongings—including their badly spell-damaged wedding rings—he’s forced to face up to friends and family who’ve grown in ways he could never imagine, a wizarding London rebuilt beyond his expectations, and the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s the entirely unforeseen problem of Draco Malfoy.

Featuring pureblood wizarding traditions, ancestral magic, open mic nights, marriage equality, a diner in Brooklyn, and the return of Fleamont Potter.

Excerpt:

“I ran into Malfoy again, yesterday. Like, physically. Ran into him full-tilt coming back from a jog outside the Leaky. Bowled him right over.”

Hermione giggles, as Harry kneels beside her on the quilt. “On purpose?”

Harry laughs. “No, of course not.”

She pushes a plate of muffins towards him, and he breaks off a chunk of one.

“Who did he marry?” Harry asks, thinking about Parkinson. The way Draco’s hands, brushing himself off yesterday, were unadorned by rings.

“He’s not married,” Hermione answers, letting Hugo clutch at her finger, dragging it towards his mouth.

“Really? He always seemed the type to be married to some prim little witch who knows how to entertain properly. You know, the sort who’s really good at parties and small talk and never forgets anyone’s name.” Harry can just picture them both at society functions, glasses of champagne in hand. Malfoy looking down his aristocratic nose at everyone.

“That’s funny,” Hermione snorts, clearly delighted by something he’s said.

“What is?”

She gives him a strange look. “Harry, Draco is as gay as a maypole.”

Harry manages to inhale a crumb the wrong way and immediately sets to choking. It causes Hermione to laugh even harder. “You really didn’t know?” she asks, patting his back ineffectually. ”He dated Dean Thomas for over a year!”

And that is really not an image Harry needs in his head, all of Malfoy’s long limbs wrapped around… He shakes his head vigorously.

“No. How would I have known? I heard him talking about picking a kid up from school and I just assumed—”

Hermione’s laughter dies suddenly and the happiness slides from her face. “Teddy, Harry. He would have been talking about Teddy.”

“Why would Malfoy be picking Teddy up from school?” He tries not to make it sound scathing, but it doesn’t really make any sense. The two of them are related, sure, but in the “burnt off the family tree” kind of way. He can’t imagine even a post-war Malfoy being that interested in a Metamorphmagus from the wrong side of the Blacks.

Hermione sighs and gently tugs her finger back from Hugo, picking the baby up as he starts to fuss. She frowns at Harry, a sign he’s coming to recognise means he’s freshly disappointed her in some way.

“Draco looks after Teddy two days a week. He has done for years. Draco’s basically the father figure in Teddy’s life.”

If she doesn’t mean for it to sound like an accusation, Harry thinks, she’s fallen pretty short of the mark. Hugo starts to cry, and Harry decides to take the excuse.

“Time for Hugo’s nap—I’ll leave you to it.”

“You should go catch up with him, Harry. You’ve changed a lot and so has he. It’s Wednesday, he’ll be at the Bent Wand tonight.”

Harry waves absently at her as he leaves. He doesn’t have any intention of catching up with Malfoy.

Except that her suggestion keeps gnawing at him as he heads back to the Leaky, and it won’t leave him alone as he eats a bowl of bland soup at the bar. He asks Kim, the waitress, about the Bent Wand and she gives him directions to a new street opened up after the war. He has no interest at all in seeing what Malfoy’s up to, but the idea that British wizards have caught up with the modern world enough to have gay bars out in the open is sort of intriguing. He could just go have a drink there. It doesn’t mean he has to talk to Malfoy. In fact the thought of not talking to Malfoy and finding an attractive wizard to work out the week’s frustrations with is sort of appealing. And so before he can reconsider he’s wandering past a new Wheezes branch and round the corner into a charming little street he’s never seen before called Equal Alley.

The Bent Wand looks like more of a pub than a bar, and there’s a foreboding-looking bouncer standing at the door. “Tap your wand,” he says, indicating a brick in the wall. Harry does so, and a blue plastic wristband appears on his arm.

“All Ages night tonight,” the bouncer says, by way of explanation, and steps to one side to let Harry in.

The pub is warm and busy, with groups of people clustered around tables and around the bar. The crowd is younger than Harry was expecting. Two boys who look like they’re still Hogwarts-age walk past him holding hands. The taller one is wearing a t-shirt that reads I Like Wizards / It’s None of Your Business. Harry waits behind them at the bar.

“Where’s the sign up sheet?” one of them asks.

The bartender points over their shoulders. “Draco has it over by the stage.”

Harry turns to catch a glimpse of Malfoy’s blond hair, surrounded by young people over by a large amp sitting on a low stage.

Harry orders a pint, and while the bartender is pulling it, he asks, “Sign up sheet?”

“Shout Out. It’s an open mic night for youth. Happens here every Wednesday.”

Harry is reluctantly impressed. It’s more or less the last thing he expected when Hermione mentioned it. He assumed the Wand would be some snooty wine bar with an overpriced cocktail menu and Malfoy holding court in a booth being rude to people who weren’t as attractive or wealthy as him.

“Some of these kids look like they’re still in school,” Harry says, anxious to derail that train of thought as quickly as possible.

The bartender nods. “Hogwarts lets them Floo down for the evening. It’s an approved extracurricular. Draco over there takes responsibility for getting them back afterwards.”

Harry tries to imagine anything like this being possible during his school days and can’t. It took him leaving the country to even understand that the confused knot of feelings he had about his own attraction to wizards was fine and normal and nothing he needed to hide. It certainly wasn’t something they ever discussed in school. Though to be fair to Hogwarts, he supposes, they had quite a lot else on their minds at the time.

He takes his drink and perches on a stool at the corner of the bar with a view of the stage. When Malfoy stands up, clipboard in hand, Harry’s forced to admit to himself that he looks really good. Which is a preposterous sort of thought, because Malfoy’s only wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. But there’s something about the way the dark skinnies hug his legs, the form-fitting tee, even the faded grey lines of his Dark Mark. Harry finds that he can’t look away.

Malfoy greets everyone there like old friends and invites a blue-haired witch in her twenties up on stage as the evening’s emcee, before taking a seat at one of the front tables. The talent on display is mixed at best, but the enthusiasm is contagious. Passable cover songs delivered on guitar, overwrought poetry, a slightly ill-considered rap. Harry finds himself clapping wildly, beaming at the thought of these young people having the space to express themselves. He’s ordering another pint when Malfoy pulls up the stool next to him as if they’re old friends. He hadn’t even seen him come over.

“Didn’t expect to see you here.” Draco sounds curious, rather than mean. Harry realises his hair is cut much shorter than it had been in school. It suits him.

“What, you thought you were the only queer wizard in our year?”

Malfoy laughs, reaching for a drink the bartender has made for him without asking. It looks like a gin and tonic. “Please. That cat’s long out of the bag. Ever since the Weasley wedding guests flapped their traps and the Prophet dedicated a full week of issues to The Boy Who Lived a Lie.”

Harry folds in on himself a little at that. It’s not that he hadn’t known it made the press here at the time, of course; he just hadn’t seen any of it. He’s pretty sure it was ugly. Andromeda always made a face when the subject came up.

As if he can read the dark turn Harry’s thoughts have taken, Malfoy leans in conspiratorially and says, “I may or may not have kept a few newspaper clippings for my personal collection. Some of the photos were very inspirational.”

It startles a laugh out of Harry, and Malfoy gives him a pleased smile. His ears pink up a little and Harry finds himself fixated on the smooth skin over his clavicle. Harry straightens up. Clearly, the pints are going to his head and he should leave. Flirting with Draco Malfoy is an objectively terrible idea. Draco’s tall and lithe and gives the impression of being all coiled power. Like a snake, but probably twice as dangerous. Harry can easily find far less menacing opportunities to pull, with a lot less emotional baggage.

“What brings you to London? Other than knocking people over in the street and lurking around queer youth nights in bars?”

Harry snaps his gaze back up to meet Malfoy’s. He doesn’t seem to have noticed Harry’s inner turmoil, or if he has, he isn’t letting on. “Gringotts found some things belonging to my parents so I needed to sort that out. I’m only here for another day or two.” He doesn’t say any more. Harry knows Malfoy’s father was sentenced to be Kissed. Talking about their parents or the past in general seems like a no-go. In fact, just the two of them sitting side by side in a bar having a conversation seems like something that should bend the universe in on itself and cause it to implode.

“This is impressive,” he manages, taking a deep breath and reaching for a change of subject, gesturing around at the pub night. “Creating an environment like this.”

“Thank you,” Malfoy nods. “Times have changed a lot since we were their age, but not so much that it’s not important to give them all the support we can.” He knocks his drink back in several swallows that leave Harry staring at the long, pale column of his throat. Harry desperately wants to mark it up.

“Go easy,” he manages, aiming for teasing. “You’ll be on the floor at that rate.”

“It’s soda, Potter,” Malfoy smirks. “Someone has to get the children back to Hogwarts in one piece.”

Harry is just wrestling with why that idea seems disappointing when Malfoy gives him a long, considering look. It’s as if he’s weighing every aspect of Harry, and it’s ridiculous, but Harry suddenly doesn’t want to be found wanting.

 Draco seems to reach some sort of decision as he stands and leans right into Harry’s personal space, his lips warm against Harry’s ear. “Though if you want me on the floor, I don’t have to get the students back to school for an hour or so.” Just the words alone have Harry letting out a small groan and adjusting himself in his jeans. Malfoy pulls back, grinning wickedly at him. This whole moment is absurd. 

Unthinkable. 

Harry can’t possibly go through with it. But Draco is the brightest spot in the room and he can’t look away.

“Where?” he breathes, thinking about just tugging Malfoy to him and Apparating them right back to his room at the Leaky, although that seems a bit obvious. 

And really who can wait that long, there’s got to be a perfectly good toilet somewhere in this pub. 

But Malfoy just smirks and walks away, toward a door at the back of the bar marked Emergency Exit. Harry hastens after him.

He finds himself in a service lane behind the building, immediately pressed against a brick wall. If Malfoy’s jeans looked tight from across the bar, now he’s close enough for Harry to feel it. 

“Someone will see,” Harry bites out, as Malfoy makes quick work of his belt buckle.

Malfoy laughs. “You think gay wizards built Equal Alley and didn’t disillusion the hell out of every dark corner?” And then Malfoy sinks to his knees and Harry can’t find himself able to care anymore.

[softbutchenergy]

kelly’s actual extended wishlist (≖ᴗ≖✿)

if any of these sound appealing to u, either like this post or slide in my messages and we can plot something out!! i rp on discord and on tumblr, and am down for about anything so -- here we gooo!

faces i want to play

nat wolff

alex wolff

camila cabello

normani kordei

hailee steinfeld

amandla stenberg 

laura harrier

eileen kelly

lily rose depp

alisha boe

shawn mendes

timothee chalamet

lily collins

kiersey clemmons

any skam fcs !!!

plots & ships i’m dying for are under the cut !!!

ships i need

camila cabello x any female fc

amandla x nick robinson

lily rose depp x timothee chalamet

eileen kelly x nick robinson

amandla x any female fc

camila x normani

camila x lauren

shawn mendes x camila cabello

shawn mendes x alisha boe

king princess x amandla 

nat wolff x anyone

alex wolff x anyone lol

josefine frida pettersen x lisa teige

henrik holm x tarjei sandvik moe

taissa farmiga x evan peters

naomi scott x bridgit mendler

madelaine petsch x camila mendes

plots ( a lot of the og posts for these are from deactivated blogs so imma just copy and paste some !! )

anything angsty that will hurt the both of us

road trips !!!

something based off i don’t smoke and i bet on losing dogs by mitski

a star is born kinda plot (but also based off chesapeke by better oblivion community center)

anything based off stuck in love

anything based off of any ship in skam, parks and rec, how i met your mother, new girl, or girls :’)

single mother/father plots <3

this small town girl who lives in a small ass town by the sea and who has basically never set foot outside the town but who loves it there bc she loves the sea more than anything else and she honestly doesn’t know a lot about the outside world but she really doesn’t seem to care and then comes in the big city boy who has spent his entire life downtown and who absolutely hates nature and who spends most of his time listening to underground music and thinking that he’s cool bc he reads obscure books but then his parents catch him partying too much and doing drugs a couple of times so they ship him off to his “crazy” aunt’s house which happens to be in the small town that the girl lives in. and at first he kind of tries himself with the girl bc he’s bored and he plans on getting out of that hole as soon as possible but  she rejects him and that’s the first time that it happens to him and he gets rlly insulted so the two of them start bickering and arguing and fighting all the time and maybe at one point that turns into some kind of romance/friendship in which the girl shows the boy to appreciate the sea and the boy shows the girl a bit of the outside world 

I NEED A PLOT WHERE MUSE A AND MUSE B HAD BEEN DATING FOR LIKE 3 YEARS AND IT WAS REALLY HELLA SERIOUS BUT ONE DAY MUSE A JUST UP AND LEAVES BECAUSE SHE GETS SCARED OF THE COMMITMENT AND ALL OF THAT AND THEN LIKE THREE MONTHS AFTER SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM IT’S POURING DOWN RAIN AND SHE SHOWS UP AT HIS DOOR STEP COMPLETELY SOAKED TO THE BONE AND SHIVERING AND SHE’S PROBABLY GOING TO GET A COLD AND SHE’S ALL “I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO GO” IDK ??? LIKE THIS IF YOU WANNA DO IT 

please an arranged marriage between two socilaite families/ big names in their city. but like she’s still stuck in the party stage and fucking up because she’s upset with her parents or unhappy with her life and he’s dealing with a lot of pressure and stress from his family to take over the family bussiness and it’s just two polar opposites but it could be super cute sometimes when she gets super drunk and he picks her up and hold her hair back when he throws up and stays up to give her a glass of water and make sure she sleeps well even though he has a huge meeting in the morning that he should be resting for. but also the angST and the fights and the ‘i didnt ask for this’ and making each other jealous and sexual tension

gimme a plot where … basically, muse ais this corrupted soul, always drinking too much, getting too high, they can barely function and muse b is basically their saving grace, always coming through in the middle of the night after a drunken phone call asking for a ride home. and muse b only does this because they’re agood person at heart, but they can’t deny that muse a’s actions actually disgusts them. but they’ve known each other for too long and muse b always promised they’d never let muse a down, because they know they’re the only thing that’s STABLE in their life. and this has become their routine, muse a texting/calling muse b when something goes wrong and muse b coming around to rescue them. there’s not much to their friendship beside that, these days, because muse a doesn’t really acknowledge them otherwise. andmuse b just settles with the fact that they’re being used, but they can’t bear to leave muse a alone, knowing that they probably wouldn’t survive without them … but then ONE NIGHT, when muse b is carrying muse a into bed, tucking them in like they usually do and they’re about ready to say goodnight until muse a, who is completely out of their mind intoxicated, mumbles somethingbarely audible that sounds a lot like ‘i love you.’ muse b thinks to brush it off, until muse a continues professing all these FEELINGS like ‘i really fucking love you, please, don’t leave me tonight’ and muse b is just STUCK. because muse a is so bad for them but muse b is the only good thing in their life … so they stay. 

i need a college plot. i need muse a, a shy but openly gay painter in his first year. i need muse b, a soccer star who is “definitely straight” in his third year. i need muse a to ask muse b out on a date and muse b accepts because he’s dared to by his team. its awkward and its tense because muse a is fumbling over his words and saying the wrong things. i need muse b to walk him back to his apartment and muse a kisses him and its hot and rough, completely unexpected and they have sex and its very awkward because muse b is dominant but has no idea what to do. and i need muse b to use muse a for sex because he definitely is 100% straight but muse a is a good fuck. i need muse b to start falling for muse a. i need muse b to get scared and defensive, now playing part in the bullying that the soccer team has been doing against muse a. i need muse b to just honestly be a really shitty person but muse a to love him through all of that.

okay but… give me an f/f plot where muse a is a hopeless romantic with a long term boyfriend and her best friend since childhood, muse b, is a closeted lesbian who has had a thing for muse a for as long as she can remember however, as of recently a has been pretty negligent towards b and hanging out with her boyfriend instead. so, to repay b – muse a plans out a road trip, full of cheesy pit stops, road side attractions and sketchy motels, spanning over the entire summer. being in the car with each other for that long with each other means petty little arguments about how much time a has been spending with her boyfriend and/or weird sexual tension. ++ late nights at shifty bars and motel rooms getting wine drunk = make out sessions the two pretend to forget by the next morning. lots of angst from muse a’s side since she has a boyfriend she’s been with for years and angst from muse b’s side because she has to listen to the girl she’s had feelings for forever talk about her boyfriend the entire trip…. YES!!!

[docholligay]

Silverleaf 10: Flicker and Glow

Hey everyone! Hotaru and Chibs folks will be delighted by this edition of Silverleaf! Sponsored by our excellent Ben! Please thank him below, so far as I know, he doesn’t have a tumblr! Thank you for reading! All of Silverleaf is here. 

Hotaru was beginning to doubt herself completely. All of this seemed like a nice enough idea, when she’d been sitting in her room, writing and rewriting the letter, wanting to figure out what to say to Chibiusa, trying not to sound as weird and awkward as she felt.

In her mind and her heart, there was poetry. There were descriptions of how Chibiusa’s hair shone in the sunlight, and they were rich and deep and Chibiusa would blush with delight when she read them.

On the actual paper, she had compared her to a pink Starburst. Those were the best, everyone knew.

The best she could do was a Starburst. 

It sounded dumb, and kind of creepy. Was she saying she wanted to eat Chibiusa? Was she going to think Hotaru was just like some guy, staring at her and thinking about her?

It wasn’t like that. It was like that. It was complicated.

This was stupid. What had she been thinking? Chibiusa lived in a huge house, and had seen the world, and Hotaru was the weird sickly kid who was only in Silverleaf because her father was owed a favor by the head of a drug corporation. A lot of people owed her father favors. He did the best he could with them. With her.

But all his well-meant tutoring and the fancy designer bookbag he bought secondhand so she could fit in, the fancy shoes, none of that could make Hotaru anything like Chibiusa. Anything like any of them.

She turned around to leave, letter still in hand.

“Hotaru?” Chibiusa walked out from behind the hydrangeas, “Hotaru Tomoe?”

“Hello.” Hotaru clutched the letter close to her chest and realized, to her great horror, that she was blushing.

Chibiusa’s eyes sparkled with delight, even under the dim humming light of the streetlamp. “I didn’t know you lived around here!”

Hotaru nodded at her, but said nothing, her mind whirring through anything that could be anywhere close to this. The macaron bakery? It’s 10 pm, Hotaru. Shit.

“Where do you live?”

__

Michiru Kaioh was drunk. No, no, a lady never got drunk, a lady was merely feeling festive, a lady was just a bit rosy. That was all she was, of course. She was a paragon of perfect decorum.

Yes, perfect, that’s what she was, she thought, as she lay on the chaise lounge, swinging her glass from the second bottle of wine back and forth in a sing-song rhythm. She was a cut artisan crystal vase, and if Haruka could not appreciate her objective beauty and class, that was her fault, nothing of Michiru’s. Haruka was simple and blue-collar and rough and all wrong for her anyhow, it was just a dalliance that was a simple bit of fun, the same as when she had seduced the English teacher, who to her mind didn’t even speak the kind of English the girls needed to learn.

It hadn’t been her fault that girl had gone back to England at the end of the semester.

But then she thought of how Haruka’s hair had glowed like a halo in the dim light of the wine bar, how sweet she was when she was floundering with the menu, the gallant gesture of her flowers and the way she held the door.

Haruka was not fine, but she was good, and that probably explained the impossibility as well as anything else.

She took another deep swig of her wine and thought to what Rei had asked her, about why it was so important for her to take an interest in Haruka, when there were plenty of girls flittering about like specks of glitter in the snowglobe that was the fabulous and decorative life that Michiru cherished so well.

She loved the way she lived. She loved the hard marble that clicked beneath her feet. She loved the diamond glint of cool crystal on the plaster walls of the penthouse, high above the city, high above everything, high above everyone. She loved the way people demurred to the power of her name, who immediately recognized it when she passed a card, when she made a reservation, and how the service grew so much more agreeable.

It wouldn’t be that way in one of those dingy noodle shops with the coated boxes, the ones Michiru had seen in Haruka’s lunch, where she doubtless sat under a buzzing table light and slurped too-salty sauces.

No, she was very happy where she was at. This was where she belonged. One did not keep elegant silver in a shoebox.

She was feeling very festive. She was happy where she was.

___

“I live--” Desperation. She didn’t want to lie, not to Chibiusa, not now, when she wanted so much to do this right. Her watch glinted, saving her. “Look at what time it is! I have to go home, my dad will--”

“You can call him from the house!”

Chibiusa grabbed her arm, and Hotaru was surprised at how hard her hold was, the strength behind a girl who looked like a fluff of cotton candy, and how widely she looked at Hotaru, almost pleading.

“I have lemonade, inside. And some cake?” Chibiusa suddenly seemed to realize how bold she was being, her voice trailing off at the end. She released Hotaru’s arm and gently folded one hand into the other.

She looked at her a moment, and then seemed to recover, giving the bright smile Hotaru loved so well, and pointing to a large glass gazebo attached to a huge house, so much like the other houses on this row, where prominent dignitaries lived with their families on a fine block lined with sweet-smelling flowers in the trees.

Hotaru wanted to go eat cake and drink lemonade in Chibiusa’s glass castle, in this strange and fairytale world that was so different from her perfectly serviceable but simple apartment on the other end of the city, where easygoing sandwich shops and small grocery stores sat beneath apartments.  

Years of sitting in hospital rooms listening to dire predictions read drolly from charts had made Hotaru used to disappointment, and she had often been the one less distressed, between her and father, over whatever new problem her body had decided to have. That life was easy. It was the one she’d lived since she was a girl, and she was used to it.

Her recent health was more terrifying than any medical test had ever been. She would never tell her father this, but Hotaru had been smarter than so many of the other children in the hospital--she had long ago simply figured she would not grow up. She had made no plans, and she studied simply because it was something to do with her father, something that he could think about that wasn’t how he’d lost her mother and would lose her.

And then, the clouds had parted.

In that unexpected light cast onto all of Hotaru’s future, she had found herself quite without a map, disconnected from everyone at school, who had been planning their lives since they were five, and she did not know how to explain to anyone that this was not what she planned for.

She hadn’t even told her father she was gay.

Not that she thought he’d care. Hotaru found that nearly dying multiple times as a child had cleared her for any number of surprises without much question or argument.

“Hotaru?”

In her haze of thoughts, she had forgotten that Chibiusa was standing next to her, waiting for an answer.

“You can call your dad from inside.” She leaned her head just a little to the side, and her pink pigtails bounced in the wind, “I,” she giggled and Hotaru could swear she batted her eyes a little, “My parents are…” she gestured in the air, “always gone, and it’d be fun to eat dessert with someone who isn’t hired by my family.”

Hotaru slipped the letter back into her bag.

“Yeah. I’ll give him a call.”

Nearly dying multiple times as a child had cleared her for any number of surprises, Hotaru had found.

__

Haruka was asleep, Mouse curled up on her chest, the two of them snoring softly, and Mina was glad. Love was a complicated thing, which is why Mina normally didn’t bother with it. Oh, she liked to fuck around, in the most literal sense, but the romantic entanglements of it all--the feelings and cuddling and the closeness and all the vulnerability--there were few people who had ever made her want to bother with it, and for most of that, she had Haruka.

They had been together for more than a decade. It was weird to think of it that way, being together, but Mina knew no other word for it. MIna knew all of Haruka’s quirks and pains and joys, woven together like a rug, and Haruka had all of hers. That had been true since Mina helped her get off the ground when her knee had snapped and popped against that bad hurdle, when she’d managed to convince Haruka that maybe, just maybe, she had some value to bring this world that wasn’t on an Olympic stage.

“This is all I’ve ever been good for,” She was a bottle deep and smelled it, watching a tape of herself destroying her high school record “Dad says he’s gonna call a few more surgeons, find someone who can fix it.”

Mina slammed the door and flipped off the TV. “No. You’re not.”

“I--”

“Sorry everyone keeps blowing smoke up your ass because they don’t know what else to say, but your knee’s fucked, Haruka.” She was was surprised to find out how angry she was, in that moment. She hadn’t even liked her when they’d first been assigned as roommates, and had only kept it from one year to the next for lack of opportunity elsewhere.

Haruka’s fist thundered against the coffee table. “No it isn’!”

“You’re not a horse, Haruka! No one is gonna take you out back and shoot you because you have to get a boring job like the rest of us!”

“Maybe they FUCKING should!”

“Jesus fucking Christ, I’m glad you’re not like that anymore.” Mina rose from the chair where she’d been sitting and moved to the small kitchen.

Together was the right word, whatever anyone else thought of it.

Mizuki was a decent match for Haruka anyhow, at least for a first few dates. They were both awkward nerds, at least, and so Haruka wouldn’t be trying to date someone who wove the conversation with gold and silver threads, and it was never certain if what she was saying was the truth or a lie or if she even knew anymore.

She pulled some leftovers out of the kitchen and poured them into a small container, neatly putting them inside a soft lunchbox printed with a bright red racecar and sticking it back in the fridge.

Mina didn’t think much of her own love life, until it came time to think of Haruka’s, and Haruka never worried after her--she went on plenty of dates, and Mina supposed it had never occurred to Haruka that she hadn’t settled down for any reason other than ‘because she didn’t want to.’

It was easy for Mina to find Haruka’s faults, where she thought too little of herself or didn’t think something through. It was harder for Mina to admit that as much as Haruka tried to fall in love, Mina tried to stay out of it. Her thoughts darted to Rei, and then moved quickly away, back where things were safe, where it was her and Haruka against the world, and no one else had footing.

She put her glass in the sink and turned off the light, padding the few doors back to her apartment, safely alone.

The fireflies danced in the warm night air, and Michiru might have seen a snowglobe’s glitter, and Mina might have seen a ghost in the past, and Rei might have seen a story in their flames, but for Hotaru Tomoe, it was nothing but the soft candlelight of a future she had not expected, and as she took a bite of the cake, it tasted sweet.

[sincerelysaoirse]

All 130 questions 🤓

Mannnnnnn……….

SEXUALITY & COMING OUT:
1. How do you define your sexuality?Queer
2. What pronouns do you use to identify yourself?She/her
3. At what age did you first suspect that you are sexually attracted to other girls?12 years old
4. At what age did you come to terms with your sexuality?Hmm probably 18
5. Did you have an “aha I like girls” moment or was it more of a gradual realization?“Aha I like girls”
6. How did your sexuality make you feel before you came out?Guilty, freaked out
7. How did you become comfortable with your sexuality?Making gay friends
8. At what age did you first come out?16/17 officially. I had been saying it to my mom since I was 12
9. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it?I guess my mom but she didn’t take it seriously when I was 12. Then one of my friends when I was 16 and she was.. awkward
10. Do your parents know about your sexuality?Yeah
11. How out are you?Pretty out
12. Do you now identify as something different than when you first came out?Yeah
13. Was anyone surprised when you came out or did people seem to already know?No one was surprised 
14. Has coming out lost you any friends?No
15. How soon after meeting someone do you usually tell them about your sexuality?I feel like I never really tell? They just find out from other people? Idk how anyone finds out 
16. How difficult do you find it to sympathize with straight women?Not very
17. Have you ever wished you were completely straight?No
18. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay.Agree
19. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other girls?95%
20. Do you think it is possible to be a true 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed towards one gender?I think it’s skewed
21. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peek or stare at a cute girl?Every fuckin day
22. How accurate is your gaydar?Not accurate at all

RELATIONSHIPS & DATING:
23. What is your current relationship status?Single
24. What is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person?I guess two years on and off and no.
25. Do you remember anything about the first time you kissed another girl?It was at a bus stop
26. Are you a virgin? If not, what gender did you lose your virginity to?Yes fml
27. What is your ideal first date?Going for a drink. Or going to the extreme and going around town doing a photo shoot for Instagram 
28. What personality trait are you most attracted to?Funny? Confident? 
29. How flirty are you?Pretty flirty ah
30. Would you ever want to get married, if not already?Yes yes yes
31 Do you want have children someday?Ooh maybe not 
32. Would you ever want to give birth?If I was having children yeah
33. How often are you asked if you have a boyfriend?At least once a week 
34. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you?No
35. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend?Yeah 
36. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters?No
37. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?Yeah
38. Have you ever dated a guy?No
39. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you?No and no
40. Has another girl ever hit on you?Yes
41. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl?Yessss
42. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s significantly older than you?No
43. Would you ever date a trans woman?Yes
44. Have you ever had a profile on a LGBT dating website or app?Yes 
45. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover?Ideally like in a bookstore or in some soulmate way on the street. Realistically in a bar
46. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic?Yeah

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:
47. Have you ever cut your hair super short? If not, would you ever want to?No and no
48. Is your nose pierced?It had been three times! I keep having to take it out for shows
49. What is your opinion on septum/bull nose piercings?Love em
50. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where?One watercolour abstract one on my ribs
51. How muscular are you?Not very
52. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy?No
53. Have you ever been told that you don’t look gay, or that you’re too pretty to be gay?“Too feminine”
54. Have you ever been mistaken as a dude?No

FASHION STYLE:
55. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often?Yes probably once a week 
56. Do you wear high heels? If so, how often?Probably once a week
57. How much jewelry do you typically wear?None
58. How much makeup do you typically wear?A little bit or full face going out 
59. How often do you wear a bra?All the time except at night
60. How often do you wear flannel?Never
61. Have you ever worn a suit?No
62. Do you wear any shoes such as combat boots, Doc Martins or Timberlands?No
63. Do you carry a purse?No
64. Do you wear any hats such as snapbacks or beanies?No
65. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing?Yes
66. Have you ever dressed in complete drag?No
67. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend?No
68. If you want to get married, do you think you will wear a dress?Yes

ENTERTAINMENT:
69. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity?Kate McKinnon
70. Have you ever watched The L Word?No
71. Have you ever watched Will & Grace?No
72. Have you ever watched RuPaul’s Drag Race?Yes
73. How well do you feel LGBT women are portrayed on television?Not well tbhh
74. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians (i.e. Tegan & Sara, Melissa Etheridge, Chely Wright, Elton John, Sam smith, George Michael, Adam Lambert)?Troy’s Sivan, Hayley Kiyoko, dodie
75. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers?Rose and Rosie, Ally Hills, Shane Dawson, dodie, Miles, like all of Buzzfeed lmao
76. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed movie?I guess ‘But I’m a Cheerleader’
77. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed blog or website?Nah
78. Do you read any LGBT magazines?Nah
79. Have you read any LGBT themed literature? If so, do you have any recommendations?Nah
80. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn?Probably not

THIS OR THAT:
81. Boobs or butts?Boobs
82. Beer or wine?Wine
83. Ellen or Portia?Ellen

BEING (SOMEWHAT) RANDOM:
84. How much do you like cats?More than dogs
85. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club?Yes
86. How many LGBT friends do you have?Dozens
87. Do you have any LGBT relatives?Yes one uncle 
88. Have you ever used any words (or variations of) such as lesbian, queer, gay, or homosexual as a password?No
89. How outdoorsy are you?Not very
90. Have you ever driven an SUV, Jeep, or pickup truck?No
91. How many rainbow items do you own?Probably two
92. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (Oct. 11)?No
93. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence?No
94. Have you ever attended a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) type of club?No
95. Have you ever attended a PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meeting?No
96. Have you ever attended a gay or lesbian wedding?No
97. Have you ever been part of a softball team?No
98. Do you skateboard or longboard at all?No
99. Do you play any video games?No

FROM 1-10, HOW ATTRACTIVE ARE:
100. Muscular women?9
101. Women who wear glasses?10
102. Women who are covered with tattoos?10
103. Women who are covered with piercings?10
104. Curvy/plus-sized women?10
105. Women with short hair?10
106. Highly intelligent women?10
107. Tall women (i.e. around 1.83 meters/6 feet or taller)?10
108. Masculine/butch women?10

GETTING SERIOUS:
109. What does equality mean to you? Everyone being respected and treated according to their rights? Like treating people the way they should be treated
110. Do you consider yourself a feminist?Yes
111. Do you eat meat at all?Yes
112. Are you religious at all?No
113. How do you feel about the terms “woman crush” and “girl crush”?They’re not great
114. How do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends?No tnx 
115. How do you feel when people use the word gay to mean things such as stupid, dumb, boring, or idiotic?Angry 
116. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, dyke, homo, or tranny?No
117. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use?There should be gender neutral bathrooms everywhere
118. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military?They should be treated the same as everyone else?
119. Have you ever been called a gay slur?No
120. Have you ever been queer bashed?No
121. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain.No
122. Does it really get better?I think so
123. Americans: How did you feel on June 26, 2015?
124. How accepting of LGBT people is the city/community you live in?Pretty accepting
125. Have you ever tried to “pray the gay away”?No
126. How annoyed are you with how heteronormative society is?8/10
127. What LGBT stereotype do you most disagree with?Like all of them idk I’m so tired
128. Is there anything about the LGBT community that you wish you knew before coming out?Nah
129. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality?Don’t rush yourself to know who you are but be comfortable with where your identity is. And know that it’s okay for things to change. 1000000s of people feel the same as you.
130. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to come out?Come out to yourself first. Accept and love yourself. Then go to the next person you know that will love you no matter what. You’re probably better off just saying rather than beating around the bush😎👉

That was so long tnx

[misscrawfords]

The Force Awakens Rewatch: Part 2

See Part 1.

So I actually have less to say about the second half of the film, perhaps because a lot of it is following on from themes and characters already introduced and discussed in the first half and not much happens that is surprising. Perhaps also because I’ve had two glasses of reeeeeally nice wine and my head is buzzing and I’m listening to Roger and Hammerstein’s Cinderella and they’re telling me that it’s impossible for a country bumpkin and a prince to join in marriage. (”But the world is full of zanies and fools who don’t believe in sensible rules”…) 

I’m sorry, where was I? Ah yes, Takodama…

- Hux. Already mentioned him separately, but, like, literally, what is the appeal? He is coded as a Nazi with no redeemable features whatsoever. I mean, by all means like him if you want. Fans can like who they want! But I see nothing to like. I mean, the First Order needs people like Hux, but fan favourite? I don’t get it at all.

- OK, I’m now listening to The Pursuit (”I just know I will find you, you’re the girl of my dreams and the thrill is more than I can bear”) and it’s making me think about Kylo going after Rey. I mean, this bit on Takodama (as others have said before and in much more detail) is another example of Kylo Ren the Dark Side Fail. He goes off on his own, abandons his mission when it would be so easy for him to take the droid and the girl and then drops his guard down to sweep Rey up into his arms. I mean, wtf? Again, we have an example of Kylo being just as young and earnest and naive as Finn and Rey. Also, what is up with what his attitude to her? That famous shot of him standing behind her with his lightsaber pointed over her shoulder? It’s such a weird position to take unless you’re meant to think of phallic symbolism tbh. Not wholly convinced by the Romeo and Juliet theme when he’s carrying her onto the ship - maybe for one bar. But the music when they leave is an epic version of Rey’s theme and that’s nice.

- Sticking with Kylo and Rey for now, the interrogation scene. I mean, so much has been written on this I’m not going to attempt anything detailed. Kylo’s removal of his helmet is shocking and deliberate and honestly, if they didn’t want people to think he was a dark prince and a Byronic antihero they probably should have cast somebody different. This isn’t being superficial, it’s being realistic. And that scene is not some massive scene of horrific abuse. I mean, COME ON. Stop saying everything is abuse! Yes, he tries to get in her mind, a fascinating experience for him and his emotions are so clear on his face. And then she stops him! This moment is all about Rey coming to terms with the Force. She blocks him out and then turns the tables. This is a fantasy. Mind reading is a fantasy thing. If they wanted to show this as a metaphor for rape, they would have presented this very differently. What we are clearly meant to take from this scene is that Rey is Kylo’s equal, that she is able to turn the tables on him, that she is awakening to her Force potential, and that he is not at all the monster he appears and is deeply affected by what he sees in her. Remember, the next time we see Rey, she manages to Force control two guards. Is Rey acting like someone who has just been brutally violated or as someone who has awoken to her own power? I’ll leave the answer to that with you. Anyway, it’s an incredibly compelling scene; I remember barely breathing through it when I first saw it in the cinema.

- The Han/Leia scenes are so beautiful and it’s lovely to even have these brief scenes of a mature couple and a little insight into the complexity of their relationship. And how can anyone think that this trilogy isn’t about the soul of Ben Solo/Kylo Ren? I mean, literally every character exists in relation to him and his decisions. I’m not trying to lessen the importance of Rey and Finn as heroes but Kylo and the possibility that he could be brought back to the light is the glue that holds the entire plot together.

- Starkiller base. Han’s death is so predictable. I mean, not predictable exactly, but it is not a twist - it’s set up very well so there’s not much to say about it. But Kylo is weakened immediately. The physical weakening from the bolt from Chewie and then Finn and eventually Rey are a symbol of his mental and emotional weakness. Making him stronger, my foot!

- The fight in the woods… I mean, everyone goes on about the interrogation scene and I do get that, but this is the sequence that does it for me. I really think the moment when the lightsaber nearly whacks Kylo in the face and Rey catches it is THE most important moment in the film. This is the moment Rey accepts her destiny for the second time. The first is when she uses the Force on the guards. Both times are inextricably linked to Kylo. But anyway, yes, this is Rey accepting the call to adventure properly. The look on her face as she glances between the lightsaber and Kylo as the music swells with the Force theme is just so beautiful and full of wonder and Kylo’s face is absolutely amazing. It’s not a look of “oh crap, she’s got a lightsaber” it’s a look of “oh wow, she has my lightsaber and it’s the best thing that’s happened all day”. Then they both ignite their sabers and you just think that this is where they have met their match and everything in their lives so far has led towards them facing each other like this. I could watch this 30 seconds or so of film over and over again (AND GUESS WHAT, I JUST HAVE). Then the fight starts in earnest and it’s interesting to look at it in contrast to Kylo and Finn’s fight. In both fights, they get right up and close to each other but Kylo and Finn seem to be just struggling together, Kylo and Rey take the opportunity for Kylo to offer to train her - he’s not trying to attack her properly - she’s the one on the offensive. And in fact, he actually starts teaching her here. He is the one mentions the Force and that is the catalyst for her to close her eyes and centre herself in the Force and gain enough control to actually push him back and control the fight. And that leads them to them being locked together, not with lightsabers but actually clutching each others’ arms like an embrace, with their lightsabers stretching one from the other and both facing the same way. It’s a really, really interesting few seconds because you could almost be mistaken for thinking they are working together. Yes, they are opposite each other, but they’re not pushing against each other. They struggle and then their lightsabers align with each other - red to the bottom, blue pointing upwards, and their faces are pointing in the same direction and they’re grabbing the other’s arms. All I’m saying is, this is a really different fight scene, especially compared to the Kylo and Finn fight and filled with a different kind of tension. I mean, there are several seconds where Rey has her eyes closed and everything goes completely calm and he’s just staring at her.

- Just to reiterate, in case you didn’t read that massive paragraph, it’s really interesting how both of the occasions when Rey uses the Force are enabled by Kylo. In other words, he is not responsible for her awakening (or is he?) but he is already teaching her to an extent. He invades her mind which allows her to fend him off, block him and invade his mind in turn. This then somehow gives her the understanding that she can manipulate the guards using the Force. He also reminds her that she can fight with the Force using the lightsaber. Thanks, Kylo! Rey’s use of the Force is intimately linked to Kylo Ren.

- Finn and Poe belong together. FIGHT ME ON THIS. What else is the purpose of the jacket line, Finn’s admiration of “one hell of a pilot” and the beautiful Regency dancing twirling camera work. Seriously. I’m torn because Rose looks like a great character but if she erases the potential of Finn/Poe then that will be such a lost opportunity. There is no way Poe is not gay and I headcanon Finn as bi because he does kind of have a crush on Rey. It’s all so beautiful.

- Rey and Leia’s hug makes me so emotional. Women comforting women! Unspoken understanding! Rey gets a mother figure from a woman who has lost her child! It’s so beautiful and sad.

- Finn and Rey remain an absolutely glorious relationship and I ship them platonically to the ends of the earth. And I really don’t think that is somehow lesser than shipping them romantically. For Finn and Rey to have a friend whom they love is the most amazing and important thing. A real friend > a romantic partner any day. I mean, come on. They’ve had nobody and now they have each other. It makes me so happy.

- I’m coming round increasingly to Rey Kenobi. Considering this is a SW trilogy, it makes sense that we should have a Kenobi in there somewhere and Rey’s use of the Force on those guards is extremely suggestive of Obi-Wan’s abilities. It really seems like a massive hint. It would be a great revelation, would link her in to the Skywalker saga, provide opportunities for even more parallels and contrasts, but also not force a relationship between her and the Skywalkers and Solos that would mean Han, Luke and Leia have conveniently forgot they had a child and never talk about it which is just stupid.

Anyway, that was my TFA re-watch and it was tremendous fun! It’s a great film and reading all the meta I’ve been reading recently has only enhanced it. My impressions are slightly different to when I saw it first in the cinema and overall slightly more positive because I’m seeing clever things in, for instance, the parallels with ANH, rather than being irritated by them. And considering how it sets up for TLJ adds a layer to what is going on and being suggested in this film.

Things that still confuse/annoy me:

- The relationship between Hux and Kylo and Snoke and the First Order and the Knights of Ren. How do they all fit together? I do not know. I am confused.

- Rey’s background???????? Lor San Tekka???????

- How did the First Order even arise and become so powerful in the relatively short period of time following the defeat of the Empire? It’s basically an Empire clone and I’m still a bit annoyed they went down that route for the sequel trilogy rather than do something original and deal with the fallout from the defeat of the Empire in a different way. Like, if the Empire was meant to imply the Nazis, then surely the sequel could do a metaphorical Cold War and that could be really interesting. This is where the parallels with ANH do still annoy me.

[awkwardlytimednosebleed]

Answer the questions!!!!!!!!!

I cannot believe you are making me do all of them i had to get m laptop for this. but i love you still so here we go I dont know how to put things under a cus so sorry to anyone that must scroll past this.

1. How do you define your sexuality? bi

2. At what age did you first realize that you like girls? 9 ish

3. How out are you? out to everyone but family4. At what age did you first come out? 21ish?5. Who was the first person you came out to? 

How did they take it? hayley i think she was pissed i didnt tell her sooner but in a loving way love you girl sorry abt not being open haha6. Has coming out lost you any friends? nope i have good ass friends7. What is your current relationship status? single8. How many gay friends do you have? i have like 3 or 4 bi/pan friends 1 or two lesbian friends9. How many male friends do you have? like 210. Have you ever cut your hair super short? i just cut it super short!11. How often do you wear flannel? almost every day oops12. How much do you like cats? a lot13. Do you like skirts and dresses? i get moods where i do14. Do you like high heels? no15. Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many and where? no but i want one16. How accurate is your gaydar? pretty darn shitty17. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? no18. How do you feel when plutonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? im ok with it19. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? HAHAHAHAHAHA yes20. Ellen or Portia? ellen21. Is your nose pierced? no22 Would you ever want to get married? yes23. Will you wear a dress for your wedding? yes but also converse24. Would you ever want to give birth? does anyone actually want that? i wld want a child25. Have you ever watched The L Word? no26. Have you ever dated a guy? yes27. How do you feel when someone uses the word gay to mean stupid, dumb, or boring? annoyed28. How many rainbow items do you own? 2?29. Have you ever been to a pride festival? no30. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (October 11)? no31. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence? no32. Have you ever worn a woman’s suit? ya like a pantsuit33. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? ya34. Do you eat meat? ya35. Do you consider yourself a feminist? ya36. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? Stephanie Beatriz37. Are you religious at all? ish38. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peak or staring at a cute female? lol too often39. What is your ideal first date? bokstore date bookstore date bookstore date40. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, or dyke? no but because im not a lesbian so i dont feel like i have a right to those words41. How outdoorsy are you? i like to hike42. In general, has being out affected your relationships with other females?no43. How much makeup do you typically wear? none44. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? ya45. Are you more feminine or more masculine? feminine46. How long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person? 3.5 years? ad no47. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? ive never had a girlfriend :(48. Do you think it is possible for someone to truly be a 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed in favor of one gender? Its possible. i think i dont have the right to define anyone elses sexuality49. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? ya in the dark days50. Do you watch any lesbian YouTubers? rose and rosie51. Do you like wearing combat boots or Doc Martins? converse52. Have you ever been hit on by another female? no? 53. How athletic are you? HA54. How many girlfriends have you had? 0 :((55. What is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? no56. What does equality mean to you? treating everyone with respect 57. If you are not a full blown lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other females? 100% have you seen girls58. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? :((((59. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? :((((60. How flirty are you? I get scared and I say fun facts about penguins instead.61. Are you a virgin? ya62. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians such as Tegan and Sara, Melissa Etheridge, or Chely Wright? ya63. Have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? no64. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality? If so, please explain. I mean my parents are biphobic so they dont know but no?65. Have you ever driven an SUV or a pickup truck? no66. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy? no67. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. disagree68. What personality trait are you most attracted to? intelligence/kindness69. Boobs or butts? butts70. Beer or wine? beer71. Do you have a favorite lesbian movie? DEBS72. From 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? 1073. From 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? infinity74. From 1-10, how attractive are women who are covered with tattoos?975. From 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 1076. From 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? 1077. From 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 1078. From 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women? infinity79. From 1-10, how attractive are tall women (i.e. around 6 feet or taller)? 1080. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? :(((81. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? :( but also :) because that sounds shitty82. Do you carry a purse? occasionally83. Do you have any LGBT relatives? not thati know of but statistically i have to84. Have you ever pretended to be completely straight? ya85. Would you ever date a trans girl? ya86. How well do you think LGBT women are portrayed in television? meh87. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? no88. Do you have any celebrity crushes? many89. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? they should be allowed to do and participate in the same things as everyone else.90. Do you believe in love at first sight? no91. Would you ever have a threesome? If so, would a guy be included? in theory yes to both92. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? at school93. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? i have no idea94. Have you ever had a one night stand? no95. How often do you wear a bra? always in public rarely at home96. Have you ever been part of a softball team? no97. If you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? yes98. What stereotype about LGBT women do you disagree with the most?  that theyre confused or going through a phase99. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? dont get hung up on labels just live your truth 100. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out?  your safety is the most important thing please be safe

[genjasolstice]

Resurfacing a piece gifted to Genevieve and Sunja following their wedding day a year ago. Happy Anniversary to the both of you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were due for a Genja Solstice. 

I remember meeting the both of you for the first time. Genevieve, popping up near my desk, new from New York and more professional and tenured than the entire GREYSF staff put together (...we’d find out ...sorry, MJ), and Sunja coming to meet us in those first few days, hanging out near the window at work, catching up in the light of the sun and on whatever drama that particular day served up. I remember the friendship growing, mostly through G at work. And by way of being her work wife, falling in love with Sunja in parallel. You cannot hear the way G talks about Sunja and not - the depth of her caring is so evident in how she speaks of him. We have unbelievable memories from those first 2 years; from 2am pitch nights to 2am hamburgers.

I also remember Genevieve's feeble attempt at conniption fit over a New Years Eve - just wanting a proposal, a ring - to be Sunja’s wife. Pouting outside of the Make Out room trying to make a point - I’m laughing right now recalling it. I remember feeling that Sunja’s greatest art was his romance to Genevieve - the art pieces, the jean jackets, the hours toiling at night in secrecy to bring these things to life - and asking him to push a deadline up on the most precious form of romance and commitment - a proposal - would go against every fiber of his creativity. Good things take time.

Well thank the Lord you did it Sunja, and made way for us to have a front row seat to what would be one of the most iconic weddings I’ve attended in my lifetime.

Genja Solstice was the first break in the hiatus of weddings I’ve experienced for the last 4 years. I’ve never been able to complain about how many weddings/ showers/ bachelorettes I’ve got to juggle physically and financially for the summer – I just don’t have enough close friends. I’m okay with it. This past weekend in Dripping, though .... was a hell of a falling off the wagon.

I love you, Genevieve, and I love Sunja. Both magical in your existence, unapologetically yourselves, and unsparing in doling out your love for each other in personal, non-flashy ways. It feels so real. In Talib’s foreword, I registered with the notion of G being “scared to introduce her friends to Sunja… out of fear they would like him more.” He is a fresh thing, untarnished by the outside world, blossoming and loving and gentle. He is so damned likeable. And, as previously mentioned, he will forever be my Burger King - the only man I’ve truly ever eaten in non-tensioned silence with - peeling off to a relic burger joint two doors down while the rest of our friends partied for a birthday.

Genevieve, you command any room you enter, squinty-eyed as you hone focus on your next victim (you refuse to wear glasses whaaaaaat whyyyyyyy),** let laughs escape from deep in your soul, and are forward and open and strong in your convictions. I have once, rather famously said “To Genevieve, fact and opinion are the same.” Genevieve, if you were a professional athlete, I whole heartedly believe you’d play scrappy ... for the sheer fun of it.

Your bachelorette was the event I began to believe in humanity again. Before I touch on the supernaturality of the friend group, do know that I am a generally fear-laced, anxiety-prone human. I need alone time. I need sleep. I need deep and constant hydration. I need to talk about these things with whoever will listen. The love and fun of G’s friends that weekend taught me I might not need any of those things if I am enjoying myself and the company I keep, enough. The group of friends should be studied closely, appreciated for the individual traits and how they contribute to the ecosystem of the group. I felt like I was on safari, but if you got to hang out with the animals close up and they give you lots of compliments. People in the crew do what they want when they want to do it, with the team behind them cheering them on - usually with a “FUCK ME UP!”. They make decisions, and laugh together at the wrong ones, and prefer anything that makes for a better story.

G’s friends are family. There are actual real-life family units within this chosen family, but the sibling connection you feel and the peace a loving one provides is palpable. It contributes to the strength of the tribe. There is no competition. If there are big feelings, the words associated with them are released immediately - unsavory sentiments do not stay trapped within this group. I could speak on their beauty and palate of ethnicities and skin tones and hand movements and hair textures that I am absolutely mesmerized by; how they speak so freely, handle their business and work, and never seem tired. About how every conversation is a deep one. How intelligent each of them is - another thread of similarity none of them seem acknowledge but all just know. They understand life is for living, and they lean into experiences with reckless abandon. I learned this weekend they all said yes to moving to New York some years ago while rolling to Boyz Noize. They actually did it. I’m still shaken up.

The wedding weekend started slowly for me, at my weekend cottage, so beautiful and out in the open that I felt as though I was checking into rehab. I could have stayed there for 3 months of summer, easily. Doing nothing and losing my edge. There is a bench swing attached to an oak tree that I will bring my morning coffee to and swing for about an hour. After a stint of getting unreasonably lost with Uber (Does this story belong here? Probably not), I make way to the event, excited to see everyone but somehow overwhelmed by anxiety. Bird, my guardian angel, pulls me aside for a conversation that becomes something much bigger. About my thoughts holding me back, what I have to offer to this world, and how to tap into strength and be my own source of abundance, acceptance and love. It will trigger me to go home that night, stay up 3 hours listening to The Women Who Run with Wolves (completing the book by the end of the weekend), and decide I am going to make some cataclysmic changes in my life to direct it where it needs to go. Weirdly, I’m realizing, the weekend does become a rehab.

Saturday is a day and night out in Austin with new friends. I am out eating lunch alone, in one place, in all of Texas, and I see them outside. I had been texting with Amber and we had planned to meet up later, but by some stroke of luck, mid-bite of brisket, they materialized in front of me. Of all the restaurants, of all the cities, of all the people. They were only outside because Rachel wanted to buy a homeless woman food. The day was more good conversations, sugary shots from the bartender at Jackalopes Scates took $120 from the night prior, which would turn to me playing dice with Scates and 5 beautiful, dangerous, dirty, tattooed men (I thought Austin was going to have more cowboys?), bars bars bars, vegan bowls and drinks and dancing at gay bars. We become part of a block party on 6th Street while walking and eating pizza and checking out some snakes.

We find out the next day Courtney will much later lock herself out of her hotel room in the middle of the night while naked, and have to yank down a common area curtain to go speak to the concierge. You cannot repeat this story unless she brings it up because I don’t even think I am supposed to know it. In any event, Genevieve has more wonderful friends who I also want to be friends with for as long as they’ll let me.

Saturday is the wedding. G, despite it being your fucking wedding weekend, you make it a point to think of me, text me how much I mean to you on Friday night, and graciously extend an invite for me to come whenever. So, beyond thoughtful. I take up the opportunity after lunch in Drippings with Courtney, Rachel and Sarah, who got rear ended an hour before by a 16 year old named Luke Harrison Ford who was late for his summer lifeguarding job… truly. We do make-up to Staple Sisters, people have wine to kill the nerves that hangovers have generously exacerbated, and we head out. I head down to the area G had toured me the night before with her sick ass pony, to have my breath taken away by the backdrop of the ceremony and the weight of realizing... it’s here. Baby’s breath peppers the alter that will frame the ceremony of two people I love, and behind them, a crystal clear creek with cattails, sweet little frogs, and ciccaedas chirping. We have a warm breeze (is there anything better in this life?), and New York style park jazz playing for us.

Sarah and I keep looking around (why? we still don’t know). We are talking to each other but neither of us are listening. And then the moment is here. The xx plays, and lithe, beautiful Talib appears, his shoulders back and down, gliding along the white rose petals, to the archway he will officiate from. He is the perfect entity to accept and deliver the responsibility of officiating a wedding and a lifetime of love together. He professes on the subject of Love. It sounds metaphorical, it is not. You could register for one of his courses. For this - it couldn’t be more meaningful. Sunja surfaces in a suit that makes me want a suit - mauve crush velvet. His skin is glowing. Next is Mona and Austin, followed by Bella and Jared, Sunja’s siblings, and the Plahey girls. When Ajinder and Parmeet surface, I have goosebumps. For most of this 95 degree event, I will be showing anyone who will give me the time of fucking day, that I have goosebumps. Women are so beautiful and powerful, and knowing the heart of the bride is in both these girls hands and safe forever. I think of the secrets and stories and laughter they have shared in this lifetime. These are the girls. They sit down in front of Sarah and I, with their thick, tousled hair, in their blush chiffons, fanning themselves in the heat and air that is rich with love.

After what felt like eternity, escorted on each side by her loving parents, Genevieve emerges.

I do not plan on crying at this wedding but will end up crying violently at this wedding. It is not me, watching Genevieve walk down the aisle and imagining myself – something that triggers crying so often for people. No. This is me, seeing Genevieve, the bride who is so beautiful and has wanted this since she was itty bitty and embodied what it means to be a good partner whole heartedly. She is walking down that aisle and passing the threshold, no matter her fears and hurts and worries that day or that lifetime has served up to her, knowing she can handle it and that her marriage will continue to conquer these hurdles that she is challenged with, and she will chose to show up anyways. Knowing how important this day was and her friendships were there, did it for me. It was at this wedding that I got it.

The vows are beautiful – and I refuse to say which was better even though I know Genevieve is reading this hoping I will reveal it. I will not. It was Sunja’s.

In all seriousness, the vows were exactly what we hoped for and what we needed. Each were laced with words that spoke as much to the person reciting them a as the person they were meant for.  And when the you both faced us and acknowledged the crowd, something I had never seen before, it felt so, so meaningful. I was absolutely honored to be there.

And when it was time, Talib, whose cadence and low voice guided us so eloquently and calmly through the ceremony, announced you both life partners. I was deeply moved. 

There are moments in a wedding that you feel that what you are watching is some kind of a movie, show, or form of entertainment. The bride is with you but mentally on to the next table, conversation, or portion of the evening, playing out everything in her head, the angles for the camera, making sure nothing about the evening is out of place or captured incorrectly. There is a high alert. It feels like you are observing a celebrity amongst common folks. There are outfits, customs and traditions that are reserved for weddings that don’t make much sense outside of them (or in them for that matter), but this wedding had none of that. There was a moment, where myself, on the other side of the room, waiving at G, and honestly dumbfounded when I saw her wave back at me. How was she even noticing me right now? So beautiful and glowing and in the spotlight. But GENEVIEVE ALWAYS NOTICES. And I know it would have been so easy to embody the alternative, I appreciate Genevieve so much during this wedding for stepping outside of the standard bride role and being who we came to support all along – her.

We have a bit of well-timed southern summer rain, some wine, some more excellent music choices. Grimes??? I’m shaken. And the dances. In a very moving moment, Sunja’s mother joins him standing, and supported by him, for a single song. I can only imagine what this meant to each of them. I look at Amber, a table over, who is crying into the sky. You cannot prepare for how these moments will take you away. 

We have incredible food and BBQ from the famed Salt Lick. This also leads me to my next tangent - almost everything that has been served up to me, from the locations of these bachelorette and wedding events, to the food and experiences at them, WAS STUFF I WOULD HAVE GONE LOOKING FOR ON MY OWN. It felt like you guys were truly looking out for our best interests and offering experiences you we would enjoy doing. It was such a gift. 

The speeches delivered from Adela, Parmeet and Ajinder were windows into G’s former adolescent and collegiate life. Each breathed to life with the personality of the story teller, including Parmeet’s impressive 6-page narrative, which allegedly when confirmed by the wedding coordinator, Genevieve approved with negative hesitation.

As one may expect, once the dance floor opened up we about blew the roof off the place. Most of us were busting at the seams waiting for gen pop to get the okay to infiltrate. I danced with Joe, I danced with Jake, I danced with Talib and almost died from cardiac arrest in the process of keeping up. Sometimes it was all too much for my little heart to handle that I had to face on the goddamn window to settle myself the hell down. Everyone at that event held their own. Everyone at that event realizes their power as individuals is as important as their power as a group. No place is as telling as this as a dance floor. It was the most beautiful way to share the evening with people. 

On that note, I want to thank both you and Sunja for this window into your life and love beyond what I already knew. Outside of the wedding itself, which I would lift directly and replicate for myself if I could, you are living out a truth in love that is honoring you as individuals as much as it is as you as partners. I want that. It was clear as day to me that my current path was not this, and I guess Ajinder felt it too, because we both went home and broke up with the people we were seeing. When it’s real, it’s real.

At the end of the weekend it was very clear to me what was important in this life - it is the relationships those who you surround yourself with on this journey. You are truly blessed if you get to laugh with them, which we both know, YOU ARE. You have not only incredible friends, Genevieve, but the most incredible best-friend to call your husband. I am honored to have witnessed this evening, considering it a pivoting moment in my own realization for the life I want to lead, and look forward to seeing the rest of your story unfold.

May we dance on many more floors together.

Love you both,

T

6.22.19

**((update here G came over last night and now she wears very cool, very hip tortoise shell glasses) 

[myerstumbluh]

LGBTask

1. How do you define your sexuality?: bisexualllll

2. At what age did you first realize that you like girls?: ok so I came out to myself at like age 12 but I think I always knew I liked girls.

3. How out are you?: I'm out to like everyone except most my family.

4. At what age did you first come out?: 12

5. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it?: my best friend at the time who's also gay. she took ot v well

6. Has coming out lost you any friends?: no. at least not yet.

7. What is your current relationship status? I'm pretty fuckin taken.

8. How many gay friends do you have? A LOT

9. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? nahhh

10. Have you ever cut your hair super short? well I mean I just cut it the shortest it's ever been (shoulder length)

11. How often do you wear flannel? see, Idont have any goos flannels which is tragic.

12. How much do you like cats? yES VERY

13. Do you like skirts and dresses? yEE

14. Do you like high heels? I'm not good at walking in them but Ithink they're badass

15. Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many and where? nooo not yet

16. Is your nose pierced? nah

17. Are you more feminine or more masculine? more feminine

18. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? nO

19. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? yeahh

20. Ellen or Portia? ELLEN

21. How accurate is your gaydar? pretty fuckin accurate

22 Would you ever want to get married? yeah ofc

23. Will you wear a dress for your wedding? depends on what I feel like but probably

24. Would you ever want to give birth? idk I have mixed feelings.

25. Have you ever watched The L Word? no :(

26. Have you ever dated a guy? yeah for a hot minute 😂

27. Have you ever pretended to be straight? yeahhh

28. How many rainbow items do you own? sadly, not many.

29. Have you ever been to a pride festival? MY MOM WOULDNT LET ME GO

30. Have you ever worn a woman’s suit? no but I want toooo

31. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? yeah I steal my dad n brothers shit all the time.

32. Do you eat meat? yee

33. Do you consider yourself a feminist? YES OFC

34. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? uhhhHHH hm. probably Laverne Cox

35. Are you religious at all? a bit. catholic. I believe in god but not so much the religion.

36. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? hmmm I dont know. anywhere I think.

37. What is your ideal first date? ummm hm. something warm n cute I guess

38. How outdoorsy are you? it depends what I'm doing

39. Is there any one male you would go straight for? nO

40. How well do you think LGBT women are portrayed on television? not very well. I feel like we're oversexualized.

41. How much makeup do you typically wear? usually just eyeliner n highlight

42. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? no

43. How many male friends do you have? quite a few lol

44. How long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person? a year n like 4 months? yea we're still together :)

45. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? aLL THE TIME

46. Do you carry a purse? only when I'm at a store

47. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? sometimes yeah :(

48. Do you watch any lesbian YouTubers? amy ordman, rose n Rosie, alexis g zall, Shannon beveridge, cammy Scott, etc etc

49. Do you like wearing combat boots or Doc Martins? yeaaaa

50. Have you ever been hit on by another female? yeah

51. How athletic are you? nO

52. How many girlfriends have you had? just the one

53. What is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? gO FOR IT

54. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? nope

55. Do you believe in love at first sight? nah

56. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? I mean I gave her my swester thst time in new York

57. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? yeah 😂

58. How flirty are you? I donr know if I come off as flirty but uf I do I don't mean it

59. Are you a virgin? yea

60. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians such as Tegan and Sara, Melissa Etheridge, or Chely Wright? TROYE N DODIE N HALSEY ETC

61. Have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? not yet

62. Have you ever used or would you ever want to use a dildo? I mean in the future sure

63. Have you ever used or would you ever want to use a strap-on? I MEAN IM THE FUTURE SURE

64. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? I mean whatever works to get u off is considered good imo

65. Have you ever had a one night stand? no

66. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. agree af

67. What personality trait are you most attracted to? ummmmm someone thats not ignorant??

68. Boobs or butts? buttttts

69. Beer or wine? idkk prolly wine

70. What is your favorite lesbian movie? idkk

71. Have you ever been personally discriminated against because of your sexuality? If so, please explain. not to my face but ik people have said stuff

72. From 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? 11

73. From 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? 11

74. From 1-10, how attractive are women who are covered with tattoos? 11

75. From 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 11

76. From 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? 11

77. From 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 11

78. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? nah

79. Lesbian couples tend to look alike. Why do you think that is? I dont knowwww

80. Do you have any LGBT relatives? not that I know of

82. Would you ever date a trans girl? yes ofc!!!!

83. How has being out affected your relationship with women, in general? I think just being out to myself helps me appreciate the attractiveness of women in general

84. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? unless celebrity crushes count then no

85. Do you have any celebrity crushes? Naomi Scott, Becky G, Gal Gadot, Dodie, may I go on?

86. What does equality mean to you? everyone should be trested as no better or less and like everyone should fsce the same consequences etc etc

87. If you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to women? yessss

88. What stereotype about LGBT women do you disagree with the most? that we only want to fuck 24/7

89. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? JUST GIVE IT TIME GIRLIE YOULL FIGURE IT OUT EVENTUALLY

90. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out? DONT DO IT TILL YOURE REAFY N SAFE ILY 💕

[hisvault]

For my tenth anniversary the wife and I decided to go to Ireland.  This pleased me beyond belief.  I have been to some great places but for what ever reason never thought that I would find myself in Ireland.  Yet here we go.  We got some pretty good deals so far, the flight was booked round trip through Aer Lingus, and we got a small studio apartment using Home Away.  All in all we have only spent 2800 bucks so far and we took care of the two biggest items.  Are expectations are high, but our itinerary is low.  We are going to relax and take it all in.  The main goal is to go and enjoy the people, the pubs, and mainly the scenery.  We are only a few days away from setting off onto our journey, and I couldn’t be more excited.

Day #1 Pre Trip (Friday)

The pre-trip excitement and jitters have begun, more so for the wife then me.  She has made many statements that don’t seem all that logical or maybe I just don’t get it.  All of a sudden there is zero time, even though we leave on Sunday, and everything needs to be cleaned as if the damn Pope is coming over.  The biggest thing is that she wants to clean weird shit all of a sudden like “Do you think we should mop the ceiling”, or “Eww, HONEY WE SHOULD PROBABLY DUST THE INSIDE OF THE FRIDGE BEFORE WE LEAVE”, WTF.  I try to remind her that there will be no one here for a week, and trust me the cat doesn’t give a shit what the house looks like.  The other things that need to be accomplished fall in very different categories such as needing to get haircuts, shaving all of my body hair off, getting her toe nails done, shopping for more clothes, checking the weather in Ireland every 15 minutes, searching our closet for 30-60 minutes as if new clothes will magically appear each time we re-enter this den of outdated cloth.  While I begin to pack I will be reminded over and over again that I shouldn’t take that and pack this, and constantly asked will this fit in your bag.  Oh the joys of travel.

9:00 AM

Showers are complete, the wife and my oldest are headed to the mall soon to purchase a shit ton of items that will only be worn once.  They will eat a crazy good lunch, and I am sure that when she gets home she will only pack half the things she bought.  Me I am off to find barber to cut my hair, not just any barber though it has to be one the can cut my hair so it doesn’t burn my wife’s eyes when she gazes at me.  This has been an ongoing battle.  I usually don’t get to caught up in it, I pick the first place I see and get it cut.  I remind you that I have been overseas a lot and have had some wild people cut my hair.  My favorite was a gay Filipino with long nails that would sing Christina Aguilera’s “DIRTY” while cutting my hair, and this took place in Riyadh Saudi Arabia.  Yes a gay Filipino hair stylist in the middle of Saudi Arabia.  Dude was good though.

11:35 AM

Back from my hair cut.  The girls are still shopping.  I take this valuable time to wonder around the house and just think about all the things I should be doing.

12:55 PM

Fuck I got shit to do!

1:00 PM

Cold Beer?

1:05 PM

Well I guess I better Mop.

8:25 PM

The puppy has gotten a bath at PETCO, more laundry is in, and I believe the wife is a bottle deep on some white wine.  Me, well I have had a couple more summer ales.  Time to relax and enjoy the night.  I think I have been asked to vacuum the lawn tomorrow.

Day #2 Pre-Trip (Saturday)

8:30 AM

The wife is up and ready to leave so that she can get her hair done.  Most mornings it takes what feels like 47 and half hours for her to get ready in the morning.  Since she is trying a new hair dresser it took 20 minutes to get ready.  Where is this motivation every other day.  I have been told that her hair will take up to 3 hours.  Holy shit, 3 hours!  That’s insane.  For what ever reason the woman that is normally  the most impatience person I know, all of a sudden has the patience of  a Buddhist Monk.  Crazy,  is 0930 to early for a drink?

9:33 AM

So I didn’t grab a drink, but I did start the laundry.  I am beginning to feel like she has a master plan where I do all the cleaning while she runs around.

10:38 AM

I cut the grass one last time for this week.  Started some more laundry and now have become anxious about my pancreas.  Three weeks ago I had Pancreatitis which was by far the most painful thing I have ever felt.  It was like a tiny dwarf made of razor blades was doing laps in my stomach and back.  So fast forward I had three beers yesterday and now I think I have awaken the beast again.  Probably all in my head.

1:56 PM

I went and tried to pick up my dry cleaning and it wasn’t ready.  I hate when that happens.  I am going to start prepping a beef brisket for tomorrow, I just want it to marinate over night.  Going to jump up early to cook it.  The family requested it, and I shall deliver.  Although I wont be able to enjoy it to much because of the law fat anti pancreatitis diet I am on.  FUCK YOU PANCREAS.

5:00 PM

Bags are pretty much packed. The wife’s hair looks great, yet she still hasn’t noticed mine at all.  Off to pick up my dry cleaning again, it better be done.

5:15 PM

God dammit the place is closed.

6:00 PM

I am sitting on my couch my stomach continue to act funny, what the hell.

7:18 PM

We have successfully died Easter eggs.  This was the cleanest it has ever been, no dye anywhere.

Day #3 (Sunday Easter and the Day we travel)

3:00 AM

I wake to smoke the brisket, nothing like getting the smoker ready at 3am.  That smell is good at all hours of the day.  The best part was is that it was quiet, almost tranquil and bliss.  This is because everyone else was still asleep.

7:00 AM

My peace is broken by children searching for the for Easter baskets.  They look like junkies who were just given clues to where drugs may be stored.

8:30 AM

Final touch up cleaning and then it’s off to the outlaws, I mean in-laws. No really they are the greatest people ever.

12:30 PM

Kids are dropped off, we give a quick hello and goodbye all in one breath and it’s off to Ireland.

1:45 PM

We still had to drop the dog off.  At this point I am beginning to fade, 3am was a bit early.  Time to suck it up and head to the airport.

2:50 PM

Chickies and Petes for a beer and some grub, the pre flight meal.  This isn’t the Easter meal I was looking for but who cares I am heading to Ireland.  Side note I haven’t pooped in two days.  I know that this isn’t relevant but it’s frustrating and I had to get it out.

4:10 PM

Frontier Airlines just held a jelly bean contest, you know the one where you have to guess the amount of Jelly Beans in the jar.  Kinda weird, at least they didn’t beat anyone up, or hold a fight club for seat upgrades.

DUBLIN DAY 1 – Hell yeah.

7:15 AM Dublin is 5 hours ahead Thee Time Traveler is in the FUTURE.

I awake from my slumber, we are landing soon and I am juiced.  The wife not so much, she didn’t sleep well on the plane.

9:30 AM

Gary our driver has picked us at the airport, friendly gentleman and gives us a brief on the way over for some things to do today.  He pulls up in front of a boarded up  home and says “alright we are here”, Funny Gary, we    are actually staying a next door.  The place is small but comfy, and has everything we need for the week.  We just can’t seem to figure out the stupid outlet deal, so many prongs.

10:00 AM

We walk down to the grocery store and pick up eggs, tea, Doritos, and water.  You know the basics.

Times will be omitted from this point forward  (They begin to get a bit blurry)

We left the apartment to begin touring Dublin.  The weather was damp, which I am guessing this is what most days are like.  If you could imagine it’s kind of like a damp basement all over the place, a little wet, little cold, and pretty grey.  You wouldn’t be able to tell this from the people though because it’s like the sun is always shinning for them.

Our first stop would be a local pub called Kavanagh’s Pub just down the street from us.  The Bartender was an awesome women named Rose who was well traveled and offered a wealth of information for places for us to go and see.  The rest of the pub was filled with older men wearing scally caps or duckbill, drinking Guinness and reading the paper.  For the first pub to pick it was exactly what we thought it would be like.  Rose knew each person that came through the door.  We sat and chatted for a bit said our goodbyes for the day and off we went to see what Dublin had in store for us.

Dublin was still celebrating Easter and the Easter Rising Rebellion of 1916.  Most shops were closed along the way but there were festivities going on throughout the city.    The first one we went to was a place suggested by Gary the Driver and Rose the barkeep called Smithfield Square.  The square was blocked off for various tents to do things, food trucks abound, and a concert stage on the far end.  We walked around checked out a few things and decided to grab a bite to eat.   Dublin is very westernized so it has a familiar feel when it comes to the eateries, the place we chose was called  Oscars Cafe and Bar. The wife got a veggie burger with chips (French fries), I got a normal burger and chips, both were delicious.  She drank a glass of wine and I drank a Galway Hooker.  This was not a real Hooker it’s the name of the beer, stay with me people.  We finished up and off we went to see more of Dublin.

Ken a local at Kavanagh’s suggested St. Stephens Green, much like Smithfield Square there would be festivities, family oriented activities and a concert.   The park was amazing and packed full of families enjoying the day.  We walked around the park for a bit until the wife got home sick seeing all of the families with their kids.  I have to admit I felt it a bit as well.   So the only way to solve this problem is to head of to another Pub.

When we were searching for St. Stephens green we passed a few pubs along the way, yet ne stuck out to us and that was Brazen Head Pub.  This is the Oldest Pub in Ireland, opening in 1198.  Unreal I know, it’s almost hard to wrap your head around how old some of the things are here, manly because the U.S only became independent in 1776.  The Pub was hundreds of years older then that.  We found to stools at the bar pulled up and ordered two Jameson and Ginger Ales.  Looking around the history of the bars patrons were all over the walls.  Dollars bills from all over the world were taped and tacked to the walls along with patches from first responders, military, and law enforcement groups from all over the world.  The bartender, whose name was Gary, offered up some great advice on more places to go and see.  He laid out a tour that would show us the history of the 1916 Easter rebellion.

We finished our drinks grab the map provided by Gary and took off towards wear we were staying.  At this point of the day we had walked a few miles already and were beginning to tire out.  We got back to one of the main streets near our studio apartment and stopped in at a pub called L. Mulligans Grocer L. Mulligan Grocer.  This would be the final pub of the night, but maybe one of the best.  We sat at the bar and struck up a  conversation with Harry the English bartender.  Nikki would nickname him Harry the Prince.  It was at this point when we were trying to finish our drinks we realized how tired we were getting, I could have fallen asleep right at the bar, so we finished up and headed back towards the apartment, not before we stopped and picked up a bottle of Captain Morgan and some diet Cokes.  Gotta have a night cap right.

We stumbled into the room tired and slightly drunk and tried to map out the next day while having another drink.  Neither one of us at this point could understand the other one so we decided to call it night.  It was only 6pm at this point.  Hey don’t judge us, we were jet lagged and drunk, and tired from walking around the city.  We laid down and fell asleep before our heads hit the pillows.

2 HOURS LATER we sprung from our sleep, I don’t know who woke first but we were up thinking that we had slept through the night.  NOPE, we couldn’t have been more wrong it was only 8pm.  We only discovered this after stumbling around the room in search of our phones to check the date and time.  It looked like the scene from Stepbrothers when they were sleep walking around the house.  Nikki yells to me that it’s still the same day and only 8pm.  I don’t believe her at this point and continue to look at my phone with one eye open and look of WTF on my face.  After checking the time 38 different ways, we went back to bed.  Hopefully tomorrow will be go just as good.

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Day 2 DUBLIN – What did we get ourselves into

We laid in bed until about 9 am.  I decided to get up have some tea, and write down some notes from the previous day.  As I am sitting there smiling and reflecting on the previous day, could smell a slight hint of pee.  Sorry for adding this but I found it funny.  In my drunken state the night before I had attempted to use the bathroom, I guess I didn’t get him all the way out before I started and got a little on the front.  Men you know this has happened at some point in your adult lives, women I don’t know what to say I am disgusting.

After making the wife some eggs and tea we decided to start our day off the same way we did the previous day and that was by going to Kavanagh’s and seeing Rose to have a pint.  The wife has adopted Rose as our Irish mother by this point.  She seemed almost to excited to see us and gave a plate a various chesses and some chutney to spread on them along with some soda bread.  If you don’t know what chutney is look it up, go by some, and enjoy, your welcome.  We finished our drinks, through down some cheese and headed off to the Jameson Tour in Smithfield Square.

I have been to Kentucky and done the bourbon trail tours, which are excellent tours.  Now the Jameson tour isn’t anything like the Makers Mark tour, but more like the Evan Williams tour on bourbon row in downtown Kentucky.  I don’t want to diminish the Jameson tour though, because it was excellent.  Our tour guide for the day was Lawrence a Californian relocated to Dublin.  They give you a wonderful brief on the history of John Jameson, and how much the distiller meant to Dublin.  At the end of the tour you get to conduct a tasting, equally excellent.  The facility is amazing and the tour is just long enough.  Once the tour was complete we sat at their bar and had a couple of drinks.  Jameson is no longer distilled at that location, but you still get a wonderful experience.

We left Jameson and headed towards St. Michans Church where we wanted to go and see the crypts below the church.  The have a short St. Michans tour were they take you below to see ancient bodies that have been amazingly preserved over time.  the crypt’s temperature never changes, and the limestone rocks, and methane coming from the gerund keep the bodies in amazing shape.  The oldest one we saw was nearly 800 years old.   Crazy right. Pictures couldn’t really be taken down there because it was considered a sacred place, and the tombs that were still technically in use no light could be shown in the room.  This added to the eerie fill that the crypt held.  I did manage to touch and old skull sitting on the floor.  Nikki made me use hand sanitizer almost immediately after I told her.  The history above and below the grounds of Dublin are fascinating.

After we were down playing with the dead we headed off to a pub.  I mean come on guys we are in Dublin, I believe it is illegal if you don’t drink while you are here.  The Pub we went to was called O’Sheas Merchant.  We sat down and talked to a lovely lady named Caroline.   She looked to young to be a grandmother but went on to tell us about her son in Australia, and the 2 year old grandson that she missed dearly.  We talked about this while we had drinks and ordered lunch.  Nikki went with the fish and chips (as a reminder those are French fries), I ordered a sandwhich called the Dubliner, it was a smaller panini with beef, and cheese, also it came with a side salad and chips.  Both meals were delicious, especially the fish, awesome grub and an awesome pub.  We finished up there and decided that we would go see Christ Church Cathedral.

I highly Suggest the tour of Christ Church Cathedral.  When you enter this place you are immediately shot back into time.   The church was founded in 1030, yeah 1030 not like that morning but the year.  Pay for the tour also, you could conduct a self tour but you won’t be able to go to the bell house and ring the bells.  This place gets older and older.  The tour guide gives you some amazing history, and tour of the church, the bell house, and the crypt.  The crypt isn’t as creepy as the one at St. Michans but has some amazing artifacts.  The weirdest of which was the cat and the rat mummy’s that had gotten stuck in an organ which were found in the 1850’s. You will need to be mindful of the stair case that leads to the bell tower and the doors as well.  The seem to have been built for children, if you are a man of average height it’s going to be a tight fit.  Once the tour ended we were off to go pub hopping.  MMMM Drinky Time.

We decided at this point that it was time to do some pub hopping around Dublin and the first pace we went to was called Peadar Kearneys Pub, named after the man who wrote the national anthem for Ireland, so we were told, I will have to fact check that one.  I googled it, it’s him.  We ordered a coupe drinks and began talking a man we named drunk Sean.  He talked about a couple of other pubs that he knew where we could hear some Diddly Day Music.  We kept talking and when he found out we were from Delaware he screamed the “THE FIRST STATE” and he said to quote him on it, so there Drunk Sean your quoted.  We left Kearney’s and found a bar called The Auld Dubliner, which was a great little bar with a guy playing some music.  Awesome little place, and the beer was flowing.  We had one a piece and left to find anther pub.  The next stop was going to the trendy Temple Bar.  It was packed, a great atmosphere but almost overwhelming with the amount of people in there.  Plus not as sociable as the smaller off street pubs, but we still sat and had some beers, and Nikki was onto Captain and Cokes by this point.  After drinking there we left and found a place that Drunk Sean suggested called The Old Storehouse.  This place was great, and also had live music.  The solo artist was playing some classic irish tunes, and the place was very much alive.  We sat at the bar and almost immediately struck up a conversation with a unique older fella.  I heard him say his name was Tim, Nikki thinks it was Ken, so he is now TIMKEN.  TIMKEN was an older fella with Phil Donahue hair, no top teeth except for the right K9, a sport jacket, and bow tie.  He had a heavy accent, and proclaimed to know Drunk Sean.  This was not a shock.  Nikki kept leaning back more and more as he spoke, I would later find out that his breath had some history also, it was bad.  So after finishing our drinks and ending our conversation with TIMEKEN we headed off again to find another pub.  It really isn’t hard to find them here they are everywhere, you can’t drink at all of them.  NO WAY NOT NEVER.  The next place was called Bad Bobs, which like The Temple Bar was packed full of patrons.  We found a spot in the back of the bar sat down and orderd drinks.  Nikki struck up conversation with Peter, Johnny, and Rob, three bartenders working that night.  What we did find was that the drink prices in this part of town began to get higher as the night went on.  This will be a little confusing, but TEMPLE BAR is an area as well as a bar also.  So in the TEMPLE BAR area the bars attract a lot more tourists and the prices seem to flow as fast as the beer.  We finished our drinks there and headed of to some local pubs near the apartment.

Along the way Nikki decided that Facebook live was going to be her new addiction, but she isn’t that great at it.  For anyone that saw it, I am sure it was hilarious, after re watching it I laughed probably as much as you all did.  This continued on even when we reached L. Mullgans, we sat down and talked to Prince Harry, Gary, and Steven.  Yes there are a lot of Gary’s in Dublin, this was the third one we met at this point.  It was getting late and we traveled a ton again today, so if was off to one more pub and then back to the apartment. We hit Tommy O’Gara’s but didn’t stay long.  We knew we were well on our way to time traveling so it was time to roll.

We stopped in at Tesco’s, the local supermarket, grabbed a pizza, Captain Morgan, and some other junk for the room.  When we got back I made drinks and a pizza.  We ate it like caveman and threw Doritos down our necks like someone was trying to steal them.  I then began to Time Travel so telling you anything else would be just made up stuff at this point.  Day 2 in Dublin, awesome.

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DAY 3 in Dubiln – The Chance Meeting

WTF is that noise!!!!! Oh it’s my goddamn alarm on my phone going off like a bomb in my head.  I jump up and turn it off with my eyes closed.  What I would have seen if my eyes were open was the full glass of Captain and Coke that I was about to spill completely into Nikki’s purse.  Yup one swift hand movement and this drunk Ninja just emptied that glass of amazing into her purse.  She jumped out of bed like the damn thing was on fire and emptied the contents in like two movements.  I stood there dumbfounded by my actions.  We cleaned it out, set it out to dry, and back to bed to we went.

We would late wake and begin our day.  We figured out a strategy for the things we wanted to see and off we went.  We stopped at Cowtown Cafe to get a little breakfast to fuel up for the long walk ahead.  We walked for what felt like ever trying to find The Kilmainham Gaol, which is an old prison and suggested by many as one of the best tourist attractions around.  We finally arrived after walking about and hour only to discover that the next tour wasn’t going to be for another five hours.  So we bought tickets for the next day and off we went.

Across the street was the Modern Art Museum that cut through the area we were in and expedited our walk.  The grounds of the Modern Art Museum are an amazing sight to see and offer some tranquility in the city.  This was a nice and peacful walk, the kind you don’t say much and just hold hands and enjoy.  It was nice to share this moment with the love of my life.  We just walked quietly taking in the sights, and enjoying each others company.  We never made it inside the Museum, only because we aren’t big art fans, but also because we were headed to the Guinness Storehouse.

We arrived at the Guinness Storehouse to take the tour, learn about the history and brewing process for Guinness.  This, much like the tour of Jameson,  was awesome and you get a free pint of Beer.  We decided to get our beers at the Gravity bar at the top of the Guinness Storehouse.  One of the best views, if not the best view, in all of Dublin.  The bar offers a 360 Degree view of the city which you can see for miles, and it’s nice to just take it all in.  Plus we were tired as hell from all the walking over the last three days, so it was nice to sit a moment and enjoy the views.

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Once we finished our pints we muscled up and headed to the Dublin Castle.  This is located in the City and is almost hidden, you turn down street just up from Peadar Kearney’s and there it is.  We went in and did the self tour where you get to see the state rooms, maybe next time we will do the full tour, but we were getting tired and hungry so we wanted to start heading back towards the apartment in Stoneybatter.  The full tour would have taken more than and hour and we didn’t want to spend that time, so we started moving again.

We casually moved through the city up and down different streets working our way back to home base.  We had passed through Jameson and into Smithfield Square tired and only thinking of grabbing something to eat and relaxing.  We got almost to the end of the square when a gentleman passed in front of me that looked all to familiar.  I have told my wife many times over that timing is a funny thing, and in this case ten seconds later or earlier and I would have missed this chance meeting.  So this man walks passed me and I don’t see his face at first but the back of his head, and his gate is a bit different.  I knew almost right away what I was looking at, my wife on the other hand had no idea and may have thought that I was having stroke, nope I was looking at the Champ and my chance meeting was about to occur.  I tell the wife “hey thats the champ Conor McGregor“, in her really cute voice she sates ‘who”, I said the champ the biggest fighter in the world right now, at which she says ‘OK”.  So like a hippo chasing a cheetah, I follow after the man and sure enough it’s the man himself.  He looked like he didn’t want to take the photo at first but was gracious enough to do so, and I appreciated that.  He turned smiled and took the photo.  We didn’t think or even count on seeing the man but there he was, and the chance meeting happened.  My wife took the photo blasted it to social media, of course after googling who he was, and I guess that makes if official since it’s now on Facebook.

Well back on the path to food, we landed ourselves at L. Mulligans again to grab a bite to eat and enjoy another drink.  We were almost walking hunched over at this point with our backs, knees, and feet hurting from all the miles we have been logging walking around town.  It was nice to get out of the misty rain that had been falling for most of the day and relax for a few moments.  We order Scotch Eggs, and Bison burgers.  Awesome, and I highly suggest them, not because I have taken a liking to L. Mulligans but because they were really good.  We drank a couple of Jameson and Gingers and headed out, last stop was going to be the grocery store for some more Captain Morgan so we could go to the room relax, and have a nightcap.  I let the wife read this story so far and got the thumbs up for some minor editing but many for her approval, as my chief editor I need to run things past here just to make sure I haven’t said to much or to  little.  Well time to enjoy some alone time.  See you tomorrow.

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Day 4 in Dublin – The Last Dance

Our First stop for the day was to be the Kilmainham Gaol, a hostirical prison that held many of the more famous political prisoners during the Easter Rising Rebellion, The War of Independence, and the Civil war for Ireland.  If you want a get a quick lesson in Irish history this is the tour to take.  Plus the jail has a few creepy aspects to it.  We walked back through the Modern Art Museum one more time, there is an amazing Garden on the grounds that is absolutely elegant to walk through.  If you have the chance I highly recommend seeing the parks and gardens throughout the city.  Phoenix Park is massive but beautiful, St. Stephens Green as well, and the gardens at the Art Museum are all well worth the time.  Your eyes will thank you.

The rest of the day was filled with walking around Dublin doing a little shopping and just taking in the sights one last time.  Along our way back we stopped at Jameson for one last Jameson and Ginger, and a little shopping.  We continued to walk back until we hit L. Mulligans to fill up another glass or two.  We left Mulligans headed to the grocer and grabbed some wine and pizza so that we could head back to the apartment and start packing.  So there we were eating Tangy Cheese Doritios, waiting on a shitty 4 cheese pizza, and drinking some wine.  It was a great moment though we got to sit, drink, and reminisce about the week we just had.  There is nothing better than reflecting on the time you just had and knowing that you had it with not just your wife but your best friend.  We had a blast and will truley miss Ireland.  It will surely always bring a smile to our faces.

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Day 5 Dublin – Departure day

Up bright an early so that we could clean all twenty square feet of the apartment we were in.  We also had to pack, which took all of ten minutes.  It is amazing how slow time seems to move when it’s finally time to go home.  Gary the driver was waiting out front patiently for us.  The drive was quick yet quiet as passed through the streets of Dublin.   I won’t bore you with us sitting at the airport playing on our phones waiting for our flight.  Just know that if you ever want to take a vacation over the pound I would suggest starting with Ireland.  No shit right, but honestly the beer is great and the people are even better.

See you in the Future – Thee Time Traveler

Links below are some of the services that we used and recommend.

Aer Lingus

Aer Lingus Airline – The plane was excellent and the service on the plane was great.  Prices were very competitive, and best of all it was a comfortable flight.

Home Away – Greats vacations Places

We found our place on Home Away, we love this site.

Glencourt Apartments

The apartment that we stayed in was great.  If you are looking for a similar experience talk to Liam Travers.  dublinvacations@gmail.com

I can’t say enough about Liam and the resources that he provided.  The room had everything we needed, and the suggestions he left us were spot on.

For a list of the bars that we went to check out my story on DOW ( The Ireland Edition) coming this week on Hisvault.com

Ireland “Home of Great Beer and Even Better People” For my tenth anniversary the wife and I decided to go to Ireland.  This pleased me beyond belief.