#she saw a pug in the lobby and wanted to cry

[lithiumseven]

Breaking News: Dog Makes it to Vet Despite Her Best Attempts

She asks for thoughts and prayers in this trying time of being weighed and being reminded that other dogs exist

[itsonlyzac]

Zailey | Goodbye

Content: Bailey leaves New York City due to the loss of a family member. She says goodbye to Zac, possibly forever.

Written by Jen (Zac’s mun) and Keira (Bailey’s mun). Bailey's responses are in bold.

Note: Last couple of replies added later.

Leaving Noah in the lobby with Liam, Bailey was a mess as she rode the elevator up to Zac's penthouse. Her hair fell around her face, hiding just how bad she looked. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy from the constant tears that sill ran down her flushed cheeks. In the early hours of the morning, she had been woken by a phone call from home.. a phone call to let her know that her beloved grandmother had passed away. She had sat in her apartment, completely oblivious to the world until the sun rose, and by the time it had she had made her decision.. she needed to go home. 

It was an irrational decision.. one that was probably the wrong one, but she knew she needed to be home.. and not just for a visit. 

Before she knew it, and before she was ready.. the elevator doors opened, and she looked up slowly, wondering how on earth she was supposed to suddenly tell the man she loved that she had to leave..

"No not the sock!" Zac's voice rang through his apartment as he chased his latest guest out of his bedroom and into his hallway. He was dressed all but one sock which was currently in his pugs mouth as it ran towards the living room. Zac skidded to a halt as the elevator opened, wondering who it could be. His face lit up at the sight of his girl. "I was wondering when I was going to see your fa-" Zac stopped mid sentence s he took in her blood shot eyes. His stomach dropped all the way to the ground floor as he crossed the space between them, wrapping her up in his arms. "What's happened? Is Noah okay? Are you hurt?" He panicked. "They didn't sell out of the really good cupcakes again did they?"

The first thing Bailey saw as she looked up was a naughty little puppy running past with a sock, and then in an instant Zac was in front of her. She opened her mouth to answer him, but a strangled sob fell from her lips instead. Wrapping her arms around him tightly, she buried her face in his chest. "I'm sorry.." she stuttered.

Zac had no idea what was going on. He was in a state of panic now thinking Bailey was seriously hurt. He wanted to look her over but she was holding him so tight he didn't know if it was possible. Zac stepped backwards dragging Bailey with him. The pug ran around their feet but Zac managed to avoid it as he brought her over to the couch. "Come on, sit down and talk to me about it baby. I got you. Just tell me what's happened Bailey, you're worrying me."

Bailey let him lead her to the couch, her grip on him not loosening once. She listened as he spoke, the sound of his voice soothing and calming her only slightly. She pulled back and wiped at her eyes, sniffling as she did so. 

"It's uh.. my grandmother.. she.." she started, the words getting caught in her throat. "She had a heart attack late last night... and she.." with a small shake of her head, Bailey hid her face in her hands, her body shaking as she tried to control her crying.

Zac didn't need Bailey to finish, he could tell by her tears what had happened. "Oh babe, I'm so sorry," he said, pulling her up onto his lap as he sat down with her. He held on tightly, trying to pour everything ounce of support her could into it. "Shh I got you baby. I got you. You can stay here tonight, get all the rest you need and I'll take care of Noah." He buried his face into her hair. "Let it all out baby. I'll be with you the whole time."

As he spoke, Bailey felt her heart breaking. She had no idea how to tell him what she needed to.. 

"Zac.." she whispered as she pulled back to look him in the eye. "I.. I need to go home... I need to be with my family.."

Zac nodded, sniffing a little. He was admittedly getting teary eyed from having Bailey cry in front of him. He hated that. Raising his hand he brushed his thumb along her cheek to try get rid of some of the tears built up. "I'll get the jet organized. You'll get home quicker and have the privacy you need. I'll try clear my schedule, come with you." He gave a weak smile. "You don't have to do this alone."

Bringing a hand up to take hold of his, Bailey shook her head slowly. "I'm not just talking about a visit... my family.. they... they were my support, through everything.. my grandmother she- she was my rock and I.. I took Noah away from them. I took him away from her.. all because I had this selfish.. need to be somewhere else.." she took a deep, shaky breath. "Zac, I... every minute I spend with you I fall deeper in love.. but I.. I need to go home.."

A look of confusion etched over Zac's features as she spoke. He stayed quite as he processed what she was saying. Deeper in love? She loved him? Zac felt warmth grow all over him, only for ice cold water to be poured down his spine. Confusion turn to hurt. "You're leaving..." He finally breathed out, retracting his hands from her. "You're leaving... me," he found himself saying, the words feeling wrong on his lips. He searched her face, trying to find some sort of answer that told him otherwise.

Bailey wished more than anything that she didn't have to do this... hearing him say those three words, and watching him pull his hands away honestly broke her heart, and the pain was evident in her eyes, but the guilt she felt from her grandmothers passing was too strong. "I'm so sorry.." she choked out, her lips rolling inwards as fresh tears fell from her eyes. "but I have to go."

"No.. no you don't," Zac protested. He wanted to be angry they were even having this conversation, he wanted to raise his voice and show his frustration but she hurting enough. So his voice remained soft, his yelling turned to begging. "Go home for a little, for the funeral and to see your family... But come back. Don't leave... Come back home to me...  Please."

"I can't promise you that, Zac." she whispered. "I wish I could.. but Noah needs to be around family... I can't stay here.. and I can't expect you to come with me.. this is your home.. Massachusetts is mine.."

"Are- What the hell has this all been about then?" Zac moved back until there was no couch left. The physical space between them was nothing compared to what it would be. "For months... And just like..." he looked down at himself. Knuckles still red from his recent fight, one sock missing and currently being chewed by his dog. "I thought this was real. Yet you just... leave me behind." He couldn't understand it, he'd never been in this situation before. He'd never loved someone like her. He'd never tell her that, not now. No, she couldn't know that or it would destroy him. "I thought I was good enough.." he whispered. It felt like the world he'd built up around him was crumbling. I was like Bailey had been his foundation and now she was fading away. He looked at the girl he'd changed so much for, the one who had given him purpose. "I can't do this without you."

"It's been..." Bailey tried to speak, but she decided to let him finish. Anger was a natural response, it was one she expected, but it didn't change her decision. 

"This is real, Zac this is the most real thing I've ever felt.." she said slowly, inching closer to him. Her blue orbs held a sense of desperation.. she needed him to know how she felt, but she couldn't say it. "I'm not.." not what? She was leaving him behind. "You are good enough. You're the best thing Noah and I could have asked for.. but I need to do what's best for my son.." she whispered. Truth be told, she couldn't do this without him either, but she couldn't tell him that, it would make leaving so much harder.

There it was. Something Zac had always known. Noah came first. He looked away. What could he say? She used the Noah card, he had nothing that could win against that. "That's your choice." Zac would never try to take anything good from Noah, he loved that kid just as much as his mother. Zac realized now he wasn't just losing her, but losing Noah all at once. He tried to swallow but the lump in his throat wouldn't move. It was probably his heart threatening to spill out. Zac couldn't look at her. Self loathing and pity was filling his veins. "I don't know why I'm so surprise.. I was always the one in this equation who would get no choice in the end." He licked his dry lips. "Go home Bailey." He closed his eyes. "Your son needs you."

Bailey instinctively tried to move closer to him, but she stopped herself before she got too close.. before he had the chance to try pull away. "Zac listen to me.. please..." she started, waiting a few seconds before continuing. "I can't ask you to give up everything for me.. I won't ask you.." 

Every fiber in her being was screaming at her to tell him she loved him and she knew if she didn't she would regret it, but she didn't know how to say it, especially now. "I know I have no right to ask this but I need you to look after yourself.. please?"

"But that's what we're suppose to be.." he shook his head. "And if you can't see I'd give up the world for you then... it's clearly obvious where I stand in your life." He couldn't keep a straight face, his heart break was visible even as he looked at her again. "I want to be there for you right now... But I can barely look at you. Because you're picking everything over me. When I'd pick you over everythi-ng" his voice broke on the last word. He took a deep shaky breath, feeling like he would puke any second now. Zac couldn't even remember where their last kiss had been. He couldn't taste it on his lips anymore. "I don't even know what to say anymore. I can't even beg you to stay because you - you used the Noah line. I have no say in that. God I want a say that. I want a say in all of this. I want my family. You're my family!" His voice rose and then fell, his hand running through his hair. "If you're going to leave then do it. Don't stand there and torture me with it. This is all your choice Bailey, and I get that Noah is your number one priority... but I should be up there too. The fact I'm not... Just get out already."

"No.. that's not what this should be. You shouldn't have to give up everything for me. That's not fair on you." she said firmly. "Where you stand in my life? Zac you're one of the most important people in my life, I need you. I need you so much- and that scares me. I shouldn't be this dependant on you.." she trailed off and shook her head. "If I didn't have Noah, you would be my priority, but you know I have to do what's right for him. It's not fair for me to deny him his life for my own selfish needs." 

She listened to him speak, flinching as he raised his voice. She knew nothing she could say would make leaving any better.. so rising slowly, she looked down at him one last time, her heart felt like it was literally shattering. She had lost two important people in her life.. and it was all her fault. Despite wanting to desperately run into his arms, Bailey turned slowly, keeping herself together as she walked over to the elevator, stepping inside as soon as the doors opened. While she waited for them to close she kept her eyes to the ground, and just as they shut she whispered three little words. 

"I love you..." 

.. and then she started sobbing, leaning back against the elevator wall as it sunk to the lobby..

“Yes you should," Zac argued. "Just like I should be on you. Because god damn it that's what this is. This is us working out how to spend our lives together. At least that's what I thought it was. I'm scared every moment but more than that I'm scared of losing you, and I am." He felt like he was fighting a battle he would never win. She'd made up her mind. "You ever think I might be the best choice for him. That I could be what makes his life better? That I would fight every battle he faces?" He looked up at the roof, his eyes glazed over. He never thought about kids until he met Noah. He never cared about them. He never wanted to be someones hero and best friend. He never wanted more than what he had.

Zac hesitated in following her to the lift. He felt stuck in the living room. Trapped. In a few minutes his life had been pulled apart. What was he without Bailey? She'd anchored him like no one else was. The male was petrified of what he would become again. She made him think, gave him opinions, offered a softer approach. She inspired him.

He wasn't feeling very inspired anymore. As the elevator open he looked over at her stepping in. A memory flashed before him, of her walking up steps with a box threatening to fall over. Another memory of her laughing against his chest as they laid on a beach. They were hitting him, as if telling him to move. Memories of Christmas decorations, cupcakes, long hours shopping, bed sheets getting tangled, bodies dancing together. He saw her gentle eyes as she listened about Henry, of her laughter as they talked about Noah. He saw her and everything she had become to him. It nearly broke him.

But it also forced him to move. To take a step and move towards her. "Bailey w-" he stopped as he neared the elevator, the doors shutting before he could get there. The male rushed to press the button, leaning against the door. "Fuck-" he hit the door, not feeling the pain it caused. "Please don't leave," he begged her, pressing the lift door over and over, panicking she'd be gone before he got down there.

Bailey had never felt like this about anyone. This ache she felt was like nothing she had ever experienced before. She knew leaving him was a mistake. She knew Zac could make both of their lives better, but she also knew Noah needed her family. 

As she leant against the wall she looked up at the elevators ceiling, her body wracking uncontrollably with sobs. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't compose herself as the elevator doors opened out into the lobby. She found herself face to face with her twin, and without hesitating he rushed forward, pulling her into a hug. Bailey's sobs got louder as she held onto him, then in an instant she felt tiny arms wrap around her legs. Looking down through tears that blurred her vision, she smiled a half smile at Noah before crouching down to hug him tightly. 

"It's okay little man.. it'll be okay.." she whispered shakily, not able to find the energy to move just yet.. Liam knew the cab was waiting for them, but he gave her time, not wanting to force her to leave just yet.

It felt like a year had passed before the elevator open. When it did, he almost fell through the doors. He'd been leaning on them begging for them to open the whole time. Praying to gods he didn't believe in. As the elevator moved down he paced. What if she had gone? Would she have gone home? Liams? Airport? Zac had no idea where to start looking, and he certainly wasn't dressed for it. As the lift opened he looked out with adrenaline running through his veins. Instead Dorris floor three stared back at him "Fuck off Dorris," he growled, pressing the button that shut the lift doors before the woman could react.

Finally he reached the lobby. Her sobs were the first thing he heard as the doors opened. She was still there. His eyes searched the lobby and found her in her brothers arms, Noah too. God, it hurt seeing Noah. How the hell was he suppose to do this? Zac blinked back tears and stepped into the lobby. "Bailey..." he cleared his throat. "Bailey," he said louder this time.

Hearing Zac's voice, Bailey looked up quickly. Noah looked up too, and a bright smile that mirrored one his mother usually wore pulled at his lips. He toddled towards Zac, reaching his arms up to hug him.. completely oblivious of what was going on. Bailey knelt on the floor, watching Noah sadly.. but she couldn't look at Zac, not just yet, so instead she lowered her gaze to her hands in her lap..

Zac let out a sad laugh, crouching down to greet Noah. "Hey Kid.." he breathed out, wrapping his arms around the toddler. He buried his nose in the blonde hair, his eyes squeezing shut. "You got to do something for me okay? You got to look after your mum." He stood, picking Noah up as he did. He was barely holding it together. He never expected to find Noah down here. "Make sure you share all you toys with her." He pulled back to look at the blue eyed child. His heart hurt so much he started to wonder if this is what heart attacks felt like. Did he smell toast? Was he going to die? Zac started to wonder if there was really much difference between death and live without his family. "I love you Noah. Very much. You're always welcome here. You probably have no idea what I'm saying... but I just need you to know." He sniffed, a tear falling down his tear. "I love you."

Bailey closed her eyes tightly as she listened to Zac speak to Noah, sniffling as quietly as possible from where she sat, but before long, Liam had an arm under hers and was lifting her up so she was standing. 

Noah stared at Zac with an oblivious smile, but at the same time he could tell something was wrong with both Zac and his mother. Taking hold of Zac's cheeks in both of his little hands, Noah rested his forehead against Zac's, a comforting action he had again picked up his mother. "Love-youu." he repeated softly before letting go of Zac's face and reaching into his pocket for one of his favourite toy cars.

"Zac-car." he said happily, holding the small toy out to the male.

“Oh man... you really know how to make a guy cry," Zac said as Noah told him he was loved. He wasn't holding them back anymore, they fell openly. He would be ashamed if anyone else was watching. "For me?" He asked, sniffing as he took the car. His nose was getting running. "Oh I'll take very good care of it. I promise. Can I have another hug?" He asked, shifting Noah in his arms a little. "Big one okay? Biiiig hug."

"No cry?" Noah said with a frown. He didn't like seeing people cry. Which was why without hesitating he wrapped his arms around Zac's neck tightly, giving him a huge hug. "All better?" he asked quietly, not letting go.

 Zac squeezed Noah as tight as he could, knowing this would their last hug. He tried to milk it for all he could but knew it would never be enough. "Almost," he told Noah, giving a weak smile. "But you know whats going to make it all so better? If your mummy comes here and gives me a reaaaally big hug. Do you think she'll give me one?" He looked passed Noah to Bailey and Liam, barely holding it together. "I need one. Just one more."

Bailey looked up as Zac mentioned her. Every emotion she was feeling shone through her eyes. Hurt, fear, sadness... heartbreak.. she couldn't hide any of it. Without waiting, she stepped forward. Those few steps across the lobby felt like they dragged out, and after what felt like forever she was standing right in front of Zac and Noah, her arms reaching out to wrap around them both.

Zac shifted Noah onto his hip and put one arm around Bailey's shoulder. He nosed her hair, breathing in her scent. "I can't have you leave thinking I could just let you go. I can't. Watching you enter that elevator killed me. Thinking I would never see you again... God Bailey." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "So... go. Work out your family and focus on Noah if that's what you truly need to do. But ... come back. One day just.. show up on a doorstep, carrying a heavy box for me." He kissed her forehead before stepping back and putting Noah down. "Go see Uncle Liam. I talk to your mummy," he said softly, holding his knuckles out for their little handshake.

Zac sniffed, rubbing his eyes as he straightened up. He looked down at Bailey. "I'm not saying this to hurt you but I need to say it before I regret it... Bailey... I love you... I love you so much I told my mother to hold onto a ring for you.. of course for down the track but... I pictured my life with you. You are such a strong person.. and I know you will get through all of this. I promise you you will." He looked to the roof and took a deep breath. "So if you love me even a little come back to me. I won't wait, or pressure you.. I won't fight because this what you need... I get it. Your family is what you need. But doesn't mean I won't hope. Hope to see your face in the crowd. Hope to hear your voice. Hope to kiss you every morning. I will hope for YOU. For Noah. For our family." He looked down at her again. "Even if I'm 90 and get one day with you. Just come back to me." Zac tipped his head, pressing his lips to hers.

Bailey was speechless as she listened to him, holding onto her two boys as though her life depended on it.. and in that moment it felt like it did. She remained silent as he put Noah down, watching the little boy fist bump Zac before toddling off to Liam.

As soon as his attention was back on her, Bailey's eyes locked onto Zac's. Her heart skipped a beat as he said that he loved her.. and it practically stopped when he mentioned a ring. She let him speak, staying quiet once again, and as he kissed her, she returned it gently, her arms wrapping around his neck as she did. After a minute she pulled back, looking up  at him. "I love you too Zachary Williams... this isn't the end of our story.. I promise you... just please, please look after yourself... I can't and I don't want to imagine a world without you in it... and you know if you ever need me, I'm just a phone call away.." she said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips once more.

"Please don't go..." he whispered again, his forehead resting against hers. He was growing tired, weak from the emotions running through his body. A phone call will never be enough. Zac wanted to support her but by doing that it meant letting his heart be broken, he couldn't do that without a few protests here or there. He brushed his thumbs over her cheeks and straightened up. "You text me when you get there safe. I.. I might go a bit quiet on you but.. I need time. This is... a lot." He looked at Noah and Liam and then at Bailey. "I really am sorry about your grandma."

"I wish I didn't have to.. but it's for the best.. I'm so sorry.." she whispered, taking in everything about his presence in that moment.. his scent, the warmth of his touch, the safety she felt just being around him.. she wanted to remember all of it so that she could hold onto it during the rough nights. 

"I'm going to miss you, so much." she whispered, kissing his jaw lightly. "I understand if you go quiet... again I'm so sorry.." she added, glancing down at the mention of her grandmother. "She would have loved you.."

Zac was barely keeping it cool. "Let my driver take you guys wherever you need to be. He can be yours for the next few days or whatever..." It was the only way he knew he could help. "Please. Just... abuse the hell out of a free ride. Load the car up with shit..." He didn't want to talk about missing each other or how her family would see him. God, he hated knowing they probably never would know him. That he'd just be a little bump on Bailey's road through life. He was starting to shut down, put walls up. If he didn't talk about missing her he didn't have to feel how bad it would hurt to do so. "One more kiss?" He asked, tilting his head again. "Make it one I can't forget."

"Thank you.." she said softly, hesitating for a moment before speaking again. "We'll probably fly out this afternoon."

Although she was leaving and this felt final, Bailey definitely didn't want it to be. Zac wasn't just another ex in her life, he meant something special to her, but she was positive that if the love she felt was true, everything would work out once all of this family stuff was sorted. "We found each other after Greece... it'll be easier this time.. I promise.." 

She smiled a half smile at his request before leaning up on her toes to kiss him deeply, her body pressing against his as she tangled her fingers through his hair gently.

Zac lent down, his hands finder her legs and in one swift move he lifted her up, wrapping her legs around him. Balancing her with one arm around her middle he brought his other hand to her neck, holding her to the kiss, pouring his soul into it. It was probably a little less PG+13 then they usually kept it around Noah but fuck it, Zac wasn't letting this kiss go by so easily.

Bailey's legs quickly wrapped around his waist as he lifted her up, not even caring that she was sharing a kiss this passionate in front of her brother and son. This kiss was her last chance to show the male just how much she cared about him, she let all her passion flow into it, making it a kiss she would never forget either.

Zac held on to her until they could barely catch their breaths, and then slowly he let go. Guiding her to her feet, no longer wrapping him up safe, warm and loved. No. He stepped back, his fingers lingering with hers. "Have a safe flight." He brought her hand to his cheek, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Remember, text me when you get home. Just.. so I know you made it." Zac stepped back, dropping her hand. He nodded at Liam, and then at Noah, and then he turned. He turned because he knew any minute now he'd break, and that wouldn't be in front of them all. As he reached the elevator it opened, Dorris stepped out and Zac stepped in. He looked out at his little family as the doors slowly shut. "Goodbye."

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