#she said she would belive i did the xx/xx/xx

[yalibat]

drawing i did for my rp acc on twitter :]

heres the pic but clearer

[badassdaddy]

Let's rant out Story 1

The biggest Regret of my life, may be of my life time... It was April 2022, she told me either leave me or be with me, this was not for the time, she said the same thing in past in July 2016 for my friend (let's call her N)

Let's start from the beginning

It was April 2015, new academic session for my 9th section was begun, one new admission was there( let's call her SM). I was very introvert person so I don't prefer to initiate the talks... One fine morning we had a mid term exams, and fortunately or unfortunately her roll no. Was just before me, I still curse that day, that why did I helped her during my exams? Why

Everything was going very smoothly, I had never intended to talk to her anytime besides exams. But on the last day of paper she just asked me to go somewhere out with her like for cafe. This was the first time so I asked WHY? Why should I go with you? She said because you helped me during the exams.. I mean seriously? I'm doing that since my 6th standard and no-one ever was so informal to asked me for the cafe... That was very quick so that time I said "YES" but next week.. next week because I need time to rethink that should I go with her or NOT? And finally after consulting with my best friend at that time I decided to go with her...

It was 8th July 2015,( don't mind I am genius in remembering dates), we went to McDonald's (LOL). There we had a very soft talk like regarding family ,past and all. She said her father passes away 2 years back. It was not very shocking for me , because same happened with my mother 3 years back. Anyhow I thought she would understand my pain and vice versa.

Coming fast forward to xx date, 2015 it was my birthday... She had a plan for me. I told her that every year I go to a restaurant alone. She said that she also wants to join me this time.. I had no problem untill or unless she is not interfering in my privacy... But that day was more than just a birthday... I belive Many things are still not be told, let's that secret remain between me and her...

So yes.. let's get back to SM , after my birth day, next we went to WTP on her birthday that is on 21st December 2015... This time it was my turn to plan a surprise for her for her birthday, that day whatever happened, I never wanted that to happen. She not proposed me but something similar to that, she said that "Mein tumhe like karne lagi hu and I see my future with you", these were her exact words... I never want this to happen, but jo hona tha woh hogya, I just hushed... What else can I do at that time

Fast forward, to 2016 June-July, few days later I told her "see mein koi fake promises nhi karunga, mein kal ka toh chhooro mein yeh bhi nhi jaanta agle pal kya ho jaaye, so how can I give commitment for next 5-6 years? Mein tumhe Aaj haa boldu phir kal khuch ho jaaye then you'll raise finger on me ki mein palat gya" this way I simply rejected her proposal. And it was mutually decided in 2016 July that we will be just friend on a condition she put that I'll never get close to N(my good female friend at that time) and from my side it was unconditional on her...

From August 2016- January 2017, I mean we had tour whole jaipur, I don't think any place was left , eventually the bond become stronger and stronger but on a emotional note from my side.. days passed by, and after my 10th was completed from that same school I decided to opt for another school... She pleaded a lot to me to be with her in the same school, it was not easy for even me too, anyhow everyone had there personal reasons, I too had and I left the school...

But may be this was not the end, some more years, some more fun, some more craziness and some more time for friendship was still left... Take it as that even when I left the school, we both went to the coaching in 11th which were just a building apart from each other.. so my everyday evening tea was with her only... Not only this after coaching gets over, we had a very nice time in a cafez eating momos and all... My eyes still gets filled with tears when I remember those times...

Now this was the time when we got both addicted to each other, and just few days before 12th boards exam she said that she can't focus on her studies and keep thinking about me all the day.. this was something very unusual to me, someone said this for the first time to me that she thinks of me.. LOL

On a lighter note I suggested that you can study while doing VC with me... I never thought that she will take it seriously.. okay but, I did had no problem because the purpose was just to study, beneficial for me too...

And this way the phase 1 of our chapter comes to an end

After the JOSAA counselling she went to another college, and I went to another but in the same city... She gets busy with her own work and I got busy in mine... We usually meet atleast twice to thrice in a month, bond started faded away, this is what I wanted since long but could not gathered the courage to say... anyhow everything was going till March 2020, then NATIONWIDE Lockdown was declared... She went back to her hometown, *now I realised how much important she was for my mental health and stability*, many things have changed since 2015 but she was my constant...

One day in December 2020, she told me that she got a BF, whom I know but never met. Okay , I still don't have any problem... She is happy, what else I want...

Now by the October - November 2021 when everything comes to the track , the Lockdown was completely revoked and she came back here again, she asked me to be in serious relationship with her... I kept denying and denying for 3 months but then finally one day of April 2022, when my life was going very smooth, she said either be with me or leave me... I was not left with any other option... I cannot afford to lose her at any cost , because I've seen my mental health when she was not there. So we got in a relationship and just after 20 days, on 25th April she demands to get in physical relationship with me... On a lighter note in teen age everyone wants all this shit so I accepted her this offer, we went to a hotel, in a room... But idk what happened atm, out of intuition I felt like what next, if she leaves me, or if she files a police complaint, and bla bla bla... so I turned down at that moment.. so yes we went to hotel but we didn't had anything else except just aten the pizza and burger 🥲🥲. I thought if any girl wants to get physical then offcourse she sees her future with me, but no, I was wrong...

Now just after 10 days of this incident a msg popped up on my phone from her side, and she claimed that her ex BF is back , after his studies and they both are now in relationship. I told her you have to choose between both of us.. because it was not me who initiated to be in relationship, it was you, now it's up to you.. in very bold letters I've texted her "AGAR TUM MERE SAATH RELATIONSHIP TODTI HO TOH BHI MUJHE KOI DIKKAT NHI HOGI", my hands were shivering while writing this... Everything is not possible on chats and text msg so we decided to meet once and sort out the way to future, whatever possible...

On 5th May 2023, we met, she asked me "TUM MUJHE CHHORNE KI SOCH BHI KAISE SAKTE HO, WE HAD A GREAT TIME OF 8 YEARS TOGETHER", on when I told her that I'll have no problem if she leaves me...I said when 8 years ago, when we met I had seen you as a friend, usse zyada khuch nhi, but now it's getting more than that, and I reiterated the same thing which I told her few years back ki I don't know what happens next, I had never thought that we'll be together for these 8 years.. I'm very thankful to God that I got you in my life. The conclusion of that meet was that I did had no problem, if she gets in relationship with her ex BFF again, but we'll Always remain friends, and out of that reason I advised her to rethink on her EX, because when ex or past person comes again in life, it for sure any reason...

In the month of June, just because of curiosity I checked her Instagram by using her I'd and password ( don't give excuses that's it the issue of privacy, I know, but I've my own reasons). The chats which I've read there with her ex, was stick in my throat. And the bitching they both have done about me was unbelievable. I was completely broken, when I came to know that with whom I'm with since last 8 years thinks about me like this... Just for instance let's take an example:- Most of the time whenever we used to go out, it was me who pays the bill, with my own willingness,(I've no problem in this at all) and on Chat with her ex she told him that "mast chutiya kaata hai iska Aaj" referring to me... This is least what I can tell, but There were 100 more similar examples flashing infront of my eyes...

It was not easy for me to digest all these facts.. agar kisi aur nein mujhe yeh baat btayi hoti toh I would have not believed it, lekin I've seen all these msg by my own... I thought that I should meet her and ask about this. But she came to know that I used her ig and read her msgs, so she was delaying the meet day by day... So I thought everything is in front of me, why should I make her embarrass by asking anything, and even she had an answer that will be considered as excuse... From that day till today I still want to know the reason why she had done all this with me.. isn't it like I haven't met her after that , I met her many times but never ever asked her about all this shit... Still whenever she talks to me I'm always there to support her but, what about me? I don't think I deserves this treatment at all.

In March 2023, After completing her graduation she moved to another city, on her last day here she asked me to come and meet her for the last time, I thought I should go, but my life is not so one sided, or one way, who knows maybe fate will be something else?? I couldn't go to meet her with reason is an irony...

The day she was leaving for another city, the same day I went to attend a program which can't be postponed or delayed. So yes I went to a program instead of going to See off my 8 years old friend.

I still regret that day when I helped her during our exam, that first cafe date and all those first time. I thank to God that I haven't got physical with her, because just after 10 days of that incident she started showing her traits...

Mein pehle bhi kehta tha aur wapas kehta hu, I've never allowed anyone except my father and sister to dominate me and control me.. but SM did had that authority and she misused it...

What an irony is that I can't say good bye to her just because I've to attend some programs which couldn't be delayed. At last I don't know who is the winner but I lost my friend. The one regret of not saying a last good bye to my friend will remains always in my heart...

[waytoobsessedwithfootballers]

Could you write one where the reader overhears dele saying something about her on the phone (maybe that she’s clingy) and confronts him? Angst? Xx love your writings!

At first you coupdny belive it would he really say that about you he always told you that he loved to be needed and how much you did actually rely in dele for things. Dele was on the phone to Eric where he was having a moan about you.

"She's just so clingy recently" he moaned "I just want some space" he said back to whatever Eric had said.

Usually you wouldn't be a confrontational person but you felt like this needed to be talked about. You walked into the kitchen where dele was stood and he quickly ended the conversation hoping you hadn't heard anything.

"So is it just me you need space from" you ask in an angry voice."what?" Dele asks surprised you never liked to argue. "Well you said it yourself I'm clingy and you need space, space from what? Hmm our relationship,me, what is it?" You question your voice getting louder and the tears threatening to spill.

"No no no baby please" he says quickly "I'm so sorry I had a bad day and took it out on you I should never have said those things I was being silly and ungrateful but of course I want you and our relationship" he says his own voice cracking at the end.

"No you don't get to be upset " you say looking at him "you used my biggest insecurity ans sorry just isn't going to cut it clearly this is something you have thought this before and it's not like we where arguing you said it in a casual conversation" you all buy scream at him getting more and more emotional.

"I uh I I'm so sorry princess I'll make it up to you I promise I just felt shit about me and said some stuff to Eric I didn't mean I love you so much" he says wrapping you in his arms.

"I love you dele but I'm still upset about this you have a lot of making up to"

[typicalmidnightsoul]

Icarus, her moon and her sun

After Emerie finds out the tangled History between her best friend and her lover Emerie is hesitant to make her relationship with Morrigan known. She wonders if she could avoid the rejection she would face by keeping her relationship a secret. Also considering the state Nesta was in.... it wouldn’t be good to let her know...right?

A/N: ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE WRITTEN IM SORRY SKL IS TAKING THE PISS xx anyway love you all please leave me a comment and likes and reblog 🥰🥰 a lotta you guys wanted this so here ya go

 Icarus and the Sun. The Forbidden love story. That’s what their love was like, that's how she loved her. Too close and too much. All it would take would be one peek behind the curtain and her heart would be there. Holding her hand. Her lover was the Sun, and she was Icarus. The only difference is that her wings had been snatched away from her before the Sun had come along.

 Emerie.

 Emerie.

 “Emerie!”

 Fingers clicked in her vision and Emerie looked up, “Hmm?” She was sitting opposite Nesta and Gywn on the dining table, breakfast lay before them. Nesta cocked her head,

 “Where’d you go?”

  Emerie waved off the concern in her eyes, and asked her to continue, Nesta gave her a last worried glance and carried on talking about her current read, explaining the world building skill to them both in detail.

 Emerie smiled. Icarus, the sun and...her. Nesta.

 Emerie’s moon. Nesta may be Gwyn’s sun but she was Emerie’s moon. She was the clarity Emerie had once longed for. She was the consistency and care Emerie needed as a child. She is the hand that always holds on. She will always be there for her yet unlike the moon in the love story of Icarus and the Sun, Nesta was never jealous of Emerie. On the contrary, Emerie could tell from the notes she got in the morning asking her if she ate, or the fresh flowers that filled her vase every morning, or the abundance of spices and teas she got every month, that Nesta Archeron in fact loved her to bits. And Emerie loved her. Nesta was an essential part of her...one Emerie knew she would never be able to let go without shattering to pieces. 

 Emerie watched now as Nesta tipped her head back and laughed at Gwyn’s comment - those eyes of ice and silver twinkling with joy, her honey-coloured hair dancing in the rays of the sun. She was perfect…

 ...and stupid because no matter what her friends told her deep down she refused to belive that she was stunning. Nesta’s head turned to hers and asked,

 “You are coming right?”

 Emerie blinked, “Um, where?”

 “To the markets, silly.” Gwyn replied affectionately.

 Crap, she forgot about that.

 “Wait, Gwyn you are coming?”

 Nesta and Gwyn shared a secretive smile and it was Gwyn who quietly said,

 “Let’s be honest I can’t very well let Nesta go out in this state, can I?”

 Emerie raised another brow and Nesta went around the table to stand before Emerie and grabbed her hands, “In my defence I did not want either of you two knowing before the Summer Solstice but this one,” she gave a pointed glare in Gwyn’s direction, “barged into my room this morning and found out.”

 Emerie glanced between them in bewilderment, “Found out what?”

 Nesta squeezed her hands, smiling down at her sister, “I'm pregnant.”

 Emerie stood, chair dropping to the floor, mouth wide, and squealed, “REALLY?! Oh my god!!”

 Nesta nodded, “You’re going to be co-godmother!!” In midst of her jumping Emerie stopped and rolled her eyes looking at Gwyn who had joined them, “I’m guessing I’m co-godmother with you?” Gwyn nodded, proud of herself and all three sisters jumped up and down squealing until Gwyn told Nesta off for jumping  [a]   and Cassian came in. He went straight to his mate,

 “I’m guessing you told them??” She nodded wrapping her arms around him and tip-toeing for a kiss. Cassian smiled at Gwyn and Emerie and Gwyn gave him a knowing look. Nesta explained to Emerie, “After Gwyn found out she promised Cassian that she would not let me leave her side. And she very readily offered you up as an extra bodyguard too.”

 Emerie chuckled, “I will gladly do so for my godchild. Oh and do your sisters know?”

 Nesta nodded, “I was planning to tell everyone at Summer Solstice but the only people who know are you, Gwyn, Feyre, Elain and Cassian. I told my sisters after Gwyn found out.”

 Emerie looked her friend in the eye, “And your scent?”

 Nesta gave her mate a light shove, “This one has kept a shield around me at all times and then Feyre, who is as protective as him, did the same, which was then joined by another ritual shield by an overly protective acolyte godmother. And only I am allowed to dictate who goes in and out of said shields.” She glared lovingly at Gwyn. Gwyn smiled.

 Emerie grinned at her best friend and shook her head at the General,

 “You couldn’t wait to knock her up, could you?”

 Cassian gave her a fiendish grin which told Emerie enough. The commander trusted them both enough to know his mate would be safe. Understanding shone in the eyes of Cassian, Gwyn and Emerie, an unspoken pact going through them until he turned his attention back to his mate and cradled her face.

 “I have to leave at noon today, I will probably be back in a week?”

 Nesta gaped at him, “Cassian! We have to be in the Summer court in 9 days!!”

 He sighed pulling her closer, “I know baby, but I need to check on all the camps before Summer Solstice holidays and make sure everything is tended to. But… remember if you need me just call down the bond and I’ll be here.”

 She waved him off, “I have a Death trove now remember? I’ll be fine.”

 A tang of jealousy went through Emerie, what did she have to do to get a love like this?

 Cassian rolled his eyes and Gwyn interrupted them,

 “I need to get back to the library to finish my jobs if we are to leave for the markets this afternoon.” She turned to Emerie, “You are coming right? Today at 3?”

 Emerie nodded, “Yeah, but I need to be getting back to my shop now.” Gwyn gave her and Nesta a parting hug before leaving for the library and Cassian nodded and flew her down to the river estate so Mor, who was waiting for them, could winnow her back.

 ----------------------

 As Emerie breathed in the familiar scent of her shop, a voice that resembled bells said from behind her,

 “Are you not going to invite me in?”

 Emerie gave her lover a sly look over her shoulder,

 “Well, you are very much welcome to follow me to my bedroom.” And then quickly ran up the stairs. Morrigan laughed, flipping a lock of hair over her shoulder and chasing after her angel.

 After a lustful afternoon Emerie got up an hour before she was due to meet up with Nesta and Gwyn and headed for the shower to remove any intertwining scents. Once she had done, and made her way back to the bedroom, she found that her lover had awoken,

 “Come back to bed…” Mor muttered. Emerie laughed over her shoulder,

 “No dear, I have to go meet with Nesta and Gwyn. We’re going to the market.”

 Mor leaned to her side, head on her fist, “Oh? Is Gwyneth coming outside?” She asked looking at Emerie in her vanity mirror. Emerie inwardly smiled, but merely replied,

 “Yes she is. She’s getting much more confident every day. She’s even coming to the Summer Court for Solstice with Nesta and I. And your family, of course.”

 Mor nodded and then asked quietly, “Have you told them...about us?”

 Emerie looked at her in the mirror, hesitantly stopping brushing her hair and gulped, “Would you want me too?”

 Morrigan considered for a long time before she whispered more to herself than her,

 “Yes.”

 Emerie didn’t know why but she could tell that letting their relationship be known mattered a lot to Mor. So she smiled and said,

 “Of course but… maybe not today? It's just that Cassian’s left to check the camps and I think you want us to announce it in front of your whole family?”

 Mor considered, then nodded and laid back on the bed and Emerie admired her as she laced up her boots. Laying back on the white pillows and sheets… golden hair around her like a halo. Her sun...in such a true sense.

 Mor grinned at her, “What?”

 Emerie controlled her blushes and asked, “Could you please winnow me to the river estate so I can meet up with my friends?” Mor groaned but got up, masking her scent, which was now mixed with Emerie’s, and shrugged her clothes back on.

 -------------------------

 “Blue or red?” Nesta asked, holding up the dresses in front of the girls. Gwyn shook her head at both of them,

 “Not your style, The tulle’s nice but it’s really pretentious for a  summer  solstice. The beading is just too much.”

 Nesta turned to Emerie,

 “What do you think Em?” Emerie shook her head,

 “You could do so much better.” Nesta rolled her eyes with amusement as Gwyn squealed and picked up a satin silver dress from the rack. It had a low sweetheart neckline with full sleeves that clamped down on her wrist a slit up the thigh. Nesta gaped as Emerie giggled,

 “You better try this on Nesta Archeron or I swear I will never talk to you again,” Gwyn threatened and both Nesta and Emerie fell apart laughing at Gwyn’s attachment to that dress. Nesta took the dress from Gwyn and disappeared to the changing rooms.

 “We’ll be looking for our dresses and accessories.” Gwyn called out leading Emerie away.

 She was really proud of Gwyn, and the courage she had portrayed in the past couple of years by leaving the sanctuary of her library. So much so that she even frequented Emerie’s shop almost as often as Nesta did. But travelling to a whole different court… Emerie would have to inquire about that.

 “So, since we’re representing the Valkyrie, we should therefore match with Nesta,” Gwyn mused and pulled Emerie along to the ‘satin’ dresses rack and started combing through dresses. Emerie picked out a bright red one and held it against her,

 “What do you think?”

 Gwyn made a sour face, “Not at all. It’s too Morrigan.”

 This was her chance, she realised as she put the dress back,

 “Speaking of her, what do you think about Morrigan? Do you have an issue with her?”

 Gwyn was still combing through the dresses and didn’t really pay any heed to her words and the gravity of them but answered nonetheless,

 “Not necessarily, I will obviously be forever grateful to her for saving me and giving me my sanctuary but… she can be a tad bit… insensitive when it comes to validating trauma that she wasn’t present for or that isn’t... visible. Especially if it threatens her privacy or her relationships.”

 Emerie tried to gauge the full extent of her words… her breathing somehow slowed as Gwyn said,

 “But if Nesta doesn’t hold a grudge against her then why should I?” She pulled out two ruched satin turtleneck  dresses, one in black and the other in champagne. “These will be perfect for us.”

 Nesta called from the changing room, “Finished!”

 And Gwyn answered back, “Coming!” Before she could leave however Emerie grabbed her arm,

 “Wait, what has Nesta got to do with this?”

 Gywn raised an eyebrow, “Do you not remember on our third..? Fourth? Girls night Nesta got really drunk and started talking about how she was told she should've been sent to the court of nightmares, she didn’t deserve the benefit of good people like Cassian and how she was a viper with a forked tongue?”

 Emerie searched through her memories.

 Whenever did Nesta say tha-....no. no, no, no, no, no.

 Emerie looked up at Gwyn, “Mor said that?”

 Gywn cocked her head at Emerie calling Morrigan “Mor” and then replied,

 “Yes… but- why are you even asking me this? Did Morrigan say something?” Emerie plastered a smile to her face and shook her head,

 “No, I was just curious about their… history.”

 Gwyn slowly nodded her head as if suspicious but Nesta called for them again and after another worried glance she dragged Emerie to the dressing rooms with her.

 Nesta looked breathtaking on a bad day but in that dress… She truly looked as though she could bring males to their knees by merely breathing in their direction. Her body looked as though it had melded with that dress and Nesta was a glowing pillar of moonlight. Gwyn jumped to Nesta’s side on the pedestal and hugged her meeting her eyes in the mirror,

 “Look at you,” Gwyn whispered in soft reverence.

 Nesta shrugged, “It’s nice.”

 “You are radiant.” Emerie countered with the same reverence.

 Gwyn turned to Emerie and they both shared a look of sadness. Nesta never knew how to take a compliment, Nesta’s insecurities ate away on Emerie more often than she’d like to admit. As if Nesta woke up in the morning and all she saw was the broken female with toxic coping mechanisms and not the absolute beauty and power that rolled off her in tidal waves. The thought was enough to make Emerie get up on the pedestal and stand on the other side of Nesta. All three sisters looked at each other through the mirror and spoke. Not physically but with their eyes. A look of joy passed through all of them as Gywn reached a hand and put it on Nesta’s stomach and whispered,

 “  Godmother!!!”   They all giggled and in that moment Emerie felt honoured that she was to be co-godmother to Nesta’s child. It was a Fae tradition that the godparents of the children were not siblings or cousins of the parents as they were already considered to be a second mother or father to them which was why Amren, Cassian and Azriel were the godfathers and godmother of Nyx. Emerie could already imagine the chaos and laughter that Nesta and Cassian’s child would bring. Nesta eyed the two dresses in Gywn’s hand and said,

 “Don’t tell me we’re matching.”

 Gwyn nodded and Nesta pushed them to the changing rooms demanding they get dressed and as Emerie slipped into her black dress she tried to push down the weight of Gywn’s words that were threatening to crush her.  Not now… let Nesta have today.   She told her heart. The dresses had an open back that were convenient for her wings but she was guessing that Gwyn would button hers up.

 As they stepped out Nesta’s breath caught in her throat. She gaped at the two of them and Gywn said,

 “We should stand in front of the mirror with our eyes closed and open them at the same time!” They did so with a lot of stumbling and cursing but as they stood in front of the mirrors and beheld their image a soft silence went through the room. Until 2 years ago they didn’t even know one another existed but now look at them,

 Twin flames of champagne and black flanking either side of Nesta who shone like stardust and moonlight in the middle. They were unbreakable.

 “I’d just like to remind you both that  I  was the one who picked out all the dresses.” Gywn whispered, breaking the silence and they all burst out laughing. Nesta nodded at them and said, “Let’s go find the accessories as Gywn claims and we’ll pay for them and leave.”

 --------------------

 Events of the 3rd girls night

 Nesta sat back into the chair, drunk and crying,

 “I don’t know why you guys love me. I never deserved you two.”

 Gwyn gasped not as drunk as Emerie and Nesta,

 “No no no no Nes! Why would you think that.”

 “Did you not know??? I am a viper! I have a forked tongue! I am worthy to only reside in the court of nightmares and do not deserve the good benefit of Cassians doubt! I. Am. Worthless.”

 Emerie leaned up and slurred, “someone said that to you?”

 Nesta’s silence was answer enough.

 “Whoever they are....they can go... to hell.” As Emerie nodded off she heard Nesta say , “I love you Em.” And Gwyn pull the covers around her and then sit down next to Nesta asking her....

 Some...

 Thing...

 How could she have been so stupid?! As she lay next to Mor in her bed she wondered what to do. If she told Nesta she didn’t know the consequences.... Nesta would maybe distance herself? Um, or maybe she would be happy for Emerie but then close up whenever Mor came in the room? Oh good god! What if Nesta just cut herself off from Emerie?! Gwyn would be disappointed in her and she would be lonely all over again.... maybe she could keep things on the low... just until she found out a way to tell Nesta. Mor stirred beside her,

 “You ok, dear?” She muttered opening her eyes slowly,

 Well now or never Emerie.

 She sat up and looked down at Mor, “I was just wondering... maybe we could keep our relationship a secret for a little longer....?”

 Mor woke up startled,

 “What- I- uh, Where is this coming from?”

 Emerie got up as well,

 “I just would like to keep this,” she gestured between them, “hidden for a little longer that’s all...”

 Hurt flashed in Mor’s eyes but she replied, “Yeah, yeah um sure it’s your choice I guess.” She got out of bed, “I need to get going, is there anywhere I can take you?”

 Emerie nodded unaware of her lovers change in behaviour,

 “Yeah I actually need to go to Nesta’s. When will i see you again?”

 Mor refused to meet her eyes, “a couple of days probably, send word to Rhys if you need winnowing anywhere.”

 Emerie nodded smiling at how easy it was to make Mor agree to it, blind to her lovers silent tears pouring down her face.

 --------------------

 2 days later

 The bell dangled in the shop and Emerie turned expecting to find Rhysand here to winnow her to the house of wind.

 “Hello,” Mor’s brown eyes were cold as she stepped through. At the sight of Emerie’s face she said, “Did you not want me here?”

 “No- I mean yes but… I thought you were in Vallahan?”

 Mor shrugged, “There were more important things here.” She rubbed her face and Emerie put a hand on her arm,

 “Something has been...eating at you. What is it?”

 Mor looked up and whispered, “You.”

 Emerie flinched, “What?”

 “Why? All I want to know is why. Why do you want to keep us hidden, a-a secret?”

 Emerie backed away and started hopping from one foot to another, “You see I-”

 “Was it  Nesta  ? You came back from a shopping spree with  her   and you...changed.”

 Emerie snarled at the venom that crept into her at her best friend’s name.

 “  Don’t speak of her name in that tone  ,” she seethed.

 It was Mor’s turn to flinch now, “I-I’m sorry I-I did not mean it intentionally-”

 “Oh don’t bother,” Emerie laughed cruelly, “I get it. Old habits die hard.”

 Sadness crept into Mor’s eyes and Emerie almost cracked at the broken plea she sent her way, “Emerie please…”

 Emerie just thrust her hand out, “Just take me to Velaris.”

 Mor gave up, nodding once before winnowing them away.

 ------------

 “We HAVE to go for a neutral themed baby shower,” Nesta argued.

 “NO Nesta look I’ve been researching baby showers in the human lands and they have a theme and a gender reveal and all that jazz and we NEED A THEME THAT CORRESPONDS TO THE GENDER!”

 “GWYN I WAS HUMAN REMEMBER and I will not be subjecting my child to gender stereotypes!”

 As those two bickered Emerie tried to do some Mind-stilling to calm the after effects of her fight with Morrigan. She knew she had to push that away before Nesta or Gwyn realised something was wrong.

 “Emerie, You okay?”

 Too late.   Emerie turned meeting Nesta and Gywn’s worried glances and answered Nesta,

 “Yeah it’s just after Rhysand opened trades from my shop here work has been getting on top of me…”

 “I can talk to Rhys with maybe take the workload off-” Nesta started

 “Or we could help out and maybe hire others to help out?” Gwyn offered.

 Emerie smiled at their concern and shook her head,

 “No need, I’m fine I’ll let you know if it gets too consuming, now show me these themes and remind me why we’re having a baby shower?”

 Gwyn and Nesta exchanged a worried look but decided to drop it,

 “I wanted to do a baby shower because my mother loved them a lot, obviously due to fae traditions no one’s gonna be giving the baby anything but that doesn't mean they can’t give ME anything.”

 Gwyn snatched the folder with the color swatches and theme ideas and showed a blue and pink one to Emerie,

 “Now here's the thing, I think that we should have the planner do the party in the theme of the gender,”

 Nesta snatched the folder back, “And  I  think that we should go for a more neutral theme…”

 Gwyn lightly pushed her, “Who the hell are you to decide?”

 It all went quiet, “THE MOTHER OF THE CHILD MAYBE?”

 “Oh shut up, these are your hormones speaking.”

 Nesta gaped at Gwyn and then turned to Emerie. Emerie laughed and as she did her past gloom was chased away by the consistent bickering of her friends. In that moment she had forgotten all about her argument with Mor.

 But Morrigan hadn’t.

 ------------------------------

 Mor hadn’t seen Emerie in weeks except once after their argument in her shop. Emerie was apparently busy with Nesta and helping her out. Mor scoffed to herself. As if. Morrigan never thought that she would be jealous of Nesta but she was. Now she was, seeing Emerie not letting Nesta carry the crates into her shop, watching Nesta and Emerie in the veranda every time she tried to talk to her, laughing and giggling over books. God she hated this yet some low part of her still blamed Nesta, despite the remorse that was coursing through her. She replayed the argument in her head again and again.

 Emerie flung her hand out of Mor’s grip,

 “Stop it Mor! Just...stop!” Mor tried pleading with her again,

 “Please Emerie, please if you could just tell me what’s wrong…”

 “Why Mor?” Emerie turned and Mor noticed the silver lining her eyes, “Can I ask why I should? How will this help us Mor? If I want to tell you something in the future about  me  then how the hell would I tell you without fearing that the next person you call a viper with a forked tongue is me? How the hell will I be able to be angry with you in the future if I’m scared whether or not you’re going to tell me that  I  don’t deserve the benefit of good people or  I  would thrive in the Court of Nightmares.”

 Mor stilled, “So this is about Nesta.”

 Emerie blew a fuse,

 “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

 Mor took a step forward, “Emerie the words I said to Nesta I-I regret them and I would never say those to you…”

 “YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE MOR... “ She took deep panting breaths, tears running down her face, “you might as well have. You fail to see how similar Nesta and I are and it just-” she trailed off trying to, “I love Nesta ok? She- she saved me. She made me less lonely. I-I had  no one  and then a female made of ice walks into my shop and suddenly I have someone I-I have  her  . You didn’t even Know of my existence and we  met  because of Nesta. I am terrified that I will hurt Nesta by telling her that I am having an affair with the female who repeatedly let her know that she didn’t deserve anything?”

 Venom filled Mor’s eyes, “Oh I see, you’re afraid of disappointing “Nesta”, you’re afraid of what Nesta will think. Well why don’t you go sleep with her then!”

 Emerie shook her head in disbelief,

 “I can’t believe you. Instead of trying to make this work…” she shook her head again, “I can’t reason with you Morrigan. I can’t-” she looked up choking on a sob, “I can’t talk to you now. We’ll speak once you have something to say other than that.”

 She turned and fled into her shop. And Mor’s heart broke.

 Could this maybe be her karma for all of the hearts she broke by keeping past relationships hidden? “Go to hell,” Mor muttered to no one in particular and got up from her bed to go down to Rita’s and wash away her sorrow.

 --------------------

 Feyre had invited everyone down to the River estate for dinner and Nesta hadn't wanted to go because Cassian wouldn't be there but was dragged along in the end by Gwyn. Emerie was meant to be her later that day, she was in the city but she told Feyre she had to talk to some vendors before the Palaces closed down. Nesta was laughing at a crude joke Azriel had said to Gwyn when Morrigan stumbled into the living room doors open.

 Feyre immediately went to her best friend's side but Mor pushed her away the stench of alcohol filling the air. She pointed at Nesta drunkenly

 “  You.”  Nesta glanced at her quizzically, stepping forward in concern, “You stole her from me.”

 Nesta’s eyebrows bunched together, “What are you talking about?”

 “You stole Emerie from me.” Feyre glanced between her sister and best friend, worry coating her eyes. Nesta and Gwyn swapped suspicious glances and Gwyn spoke up her voice soft,

 “Emerie is Nesta’s best friend, she can’t really be-”

 “NO” Mor cut her off, “Emerie- Em left me for  her  … She’s in  love  with you.”

 Nesta laughed at that, “I assure you Morrigan, Emerie is not in love with me, besides why would that affect you if she did?”

 “Because I am in love with her”  The whole room stilled, slipping into a bewildered silence. “She didn’t want to tell you that she was in a relationship with me,” Mor sobbed, “She didn’t want you to know because she feared losing you, she cried-my god she cried so much whenever we argued and then she went back to you with fake smiles…” Morrigan’s crying intensified as she recalled the memory but Nesta...

 … Nesta let out a shuddering breath, eyes flashing with hurt as they looked at Gwyn,

 “She didn’t tell me Gwyn…” tears now lined Nesta’s eyes and Gwyn tried to console her, “She- she didn’t  want  to tell me… She kept it from me.”

 “I don’t believe her intention was to hurt you, Nes,” Gwyn tried, caressing Nesta’s unbound hair, “No Gwyn but… I have never kept anything from her and she thought I wouldnt approve?!”

 The door opened behind them and Nesta turned,

 “Hey…” Emerie stepped in and saw Nesta and Mor both crying. She stood at the entryway,

 “What the hell happened??” She asked, eyes darting between them, Mor noted the movement and muttered bitterly, “Fitting of you to assume  I  did something to the female you are in love with.” Emerie gave her a bewildered look, “Who are you…” her eyes fell on Nesta, “You don’t think… this is a mess.”

 Feyre and Rhys looked at each other and decided not to intervene.

 Nesta stepped forward anger lacing her voice,

 “Yes, yes this is. I trusted you and…” She looked up silver eyes piercing into Emerie, “You know that if someone- if  you   had told me then I would’ve been supportive right? Right?”

 Emerie didn’t answer and Nesta turned away dragging a hand through her hair,

 “Nesta please , Calm down please this isn’t good for the…” Nesta pushed Gwyn away refusing to listen to reason and stepped up to Emerie, “I tell you everything. I never keep secrets from you but you do not trust me enough to tell me about such an important thing but the worse thing is… I wasn’t there for you...I couldn’t be there for you when you cried after arguments with Mor because you didn’t tell me, because you wouldn’t  let me.  ”

 “I didn’t- I didn’t, I never wanted this to happen!”

 “Forget it, Em,” Nesta pushed past her running out of the door, off the grounds of the river estate, Gwyn ran after her pure terror going through her eyes as she contemplated what would happen to the child.

 Emerie grabbed Gwyn’s arms, “Gwyn… please…”

 Gwyn turned, “You mean the world to Nesta, she’ll talk to you later but it is best now if you don’t”

 “But Gwyn-”

 “Let me go Emerie, I need to make sure Nesta’s all right. She can’t be running in this state Emerie Let. me. Go.” Emerie dropped her hand and turned back to Mor who was still crying on the floor, a drunken mess.

 “I am not in love with Nesta, you dimwit,” Mor looked up at Emerie, “I love Nesta but I am in love with you. How could you-”

 Mor tried to stand up, “Emerie I didn’t mean too-”

 “We’re done.”

 Another silence rippled through the crowd around them and Emerie turned pleading eyes to Azriel,

 “Take me home.”

 As Azriel took her away Rhys swore,

 “Shit.” He looked at Feyre, “Cassian’s here.”

 As if in response the earth trembled on the grounds of the River house.

 Rhys turned to Az, “You have to get Emerie out of here now.”

 ---------------------------

 Cassian growled at Rhys, “Where is she?”

 Rhysand leveled a hard look with his general, “She is safe, Gwyn is with her, Feyre and Nyx are with her and you know how Nesta melts with Nyx” he cocked his head, “You are being more overprotective than usual brother?”

 Cassian shrugged, “When you heard your mate crying down the bond you dropped everything for her.”

 “You’re right. I apologize brother.”

 Feyre rushed through the doors, “Cassian… Nesta fainted. She’s with Madja.”

 Cassian’s eyes widened once before he rushed out of the door taking to the skies towards the healers’ buildings.

 Cassian stormed through the hallways until he reached the room he had been directed too. His heart rushed with relief at the sight of his mate, awake her hand in Gwyn’s. Cassian shot Gwyn a look of gratitude and walked to Nesta’s side. Gwyn excused herself but before she could leave Cassian asked her,

 “Could you send word to her? She’s worried sick about Nesta apparently.” Gwyn knew who he was talking about and just nodded leaving the room. Cassian pulled a seat on Nesta’s side and grabbed her hand stroking a thumb down the back,

 “Don’t scare me like that,” he whispered, leaning forward to press his forehead against hers, “Is the baby ok?”

 She nodded, “They’re ok.” Cassian pressed closer against her and Nesta voiced her worries, “Cass, I-I overstepped she… you know she won’t come and visit me out of sheer guilt? Don’t be mad at her Cassian, It wasn’t her fault… and Mor? Is Mor ok? She was- was  heartbroken.”  

 “Hey, hey, baby, It wasn’t your fault or anyones for that matter… but you need to calm down. I don’t need you fainting from more stress, please. Talk to her once you’ve healed but… please don’t do this to me.”

 Nesta nodded once, feeling guilty for how worried he was and settled back into the covers pulling him with her.

 Later, she’d talk to Emerie. Later.

 ------------------

 Mor found Nesta in the private library. The house of Wind seemed reluctant at first but Mor assured it her feelings were pure.

 Nesta was sprawled on the lounge and her eyes flicked up, slightly hardening as they beheld her.

 “Hello,” Mor tried. Nesta sat up and patted the spot next to her,

 “Hey.”

 As Mor sat down she refused to meet Nesta’s eyes,

 “I’m going to cut to the chase, I have never had a public relationship and I’m not trying to get you to sympathize with me but after Emerie told me she didn’t want us to have a public relationship I spiraled. I was always jealous and suspected that Emerie may be in love with you so when she started telling me my problems the only thing I focused on was...how much you were involved and I missed the whole point. She was scared that I would treat her how I treated you and I would  never  treat her but… I have a feeling that I owe  you   an apology for how I treated you in the past. And the day before. You never deserved it and like always my jealousy was my main motivator.”

 Nesta had sat and listened through it all and when Mor finished she reached over and put a hand on hers.

 “I forgave you a long time ago.” Mor looked up to see silver eyes swirling with forgiveness, “And about Emerie… I can assure you that she is not in love with me. She is very much committed to you. However Emerie can be fiercely loyal to the ones she loves and she is very protective of me. I just regret not being there. This is more a reflection of me than her. And I was going to talk to her but I thought I’d let you two sort it out.”

 Mor’s face conorted to pain and Nesta shuffled closer, “Hey, hey what’s wrong?”

 “She refuses to see me.”

 A look of pure determination came over Nesta as she stood up and the house gave Nesta her cloak.

 “Wait Nesta where are you going?”

 As Nesta put the red fur lined cloak on she said, “Emerie hasn’t been here to see me either. Which means that this bitc- she’s punishing herself and you dear Mor are not capable of shouting at her like I am. I’ll see you at dinner.”

 Nesta walked off shouting for Azriel.

 Mor wondered what the hell she just started.

 -----------------

 The door of her shop slammed open and a red hooded figure stepped through the door.

 “We’re closed-”

 “EMERIE!” Nesta took off her hood, “You piece of- how dare you hole yourself up here and hide away from us?! I am disappointed in you. Is this what you’ll be teaching your godchild. That they should come hide up with you when their problems become too much?”

 Emerie gaped, “Wait you still want me to be their godmother?”

 “Of course I do you you idiot. We had an argument. It’s healthy.”

 Nesta groaned and dragged Emerie to the back sitting down with her, “But you need to start explaining yourself.”

 Emerie sighed, “Look Nes, I-I when I heard what Mor had said to you in the past I got scared and defensive. You’re the one who gave me a way out of these mountains. It was because of you I got love and a family. And then I thought if I didn’t tell you I’d get the best of both worlds, but that obviously blew up in my face… and after when you fainted I realised-”

 “Stop right there. I fainted because I didn’t eat anything asI cleverley decided that if I didn’t eat anything it would prevent the morning sickness. I was wrong. Obviously. I fainted at the bad time and it was NOT your fault or anyone’s at all.”

 Nesta held Emerie close to her chest and said, “You need to talk to your lady love, Em. She’s tearing herself up over you.”

 Emerie sobbed quietly, “I know I just-”

 “I’ll always be here for you. If your talk goes badly come and tell me. I’ll handle it then but you need to talk to her Em.”

 “I will, I will.”

  -----------------------

 “Hey.” Mor turned, seeing a familiar face, one she ached to see in the past days.

 “Hi.” Emerie gave her a thin smile.

 “We obviously need to talk.”

 Mor nodded, “Yeah. Do-do you wanna sit down?” She gestured to the bench in Elain’s garden. Emerie nodded and sat, Mor sitting next to her.

 A long silence drew out, Emerie being the first one to break it,

 “I- you need to know that I am not in love with Nesta. I was just...scared. And I hate seeing you like this and I am so sorry-”

 “No,” Mor stopped her, “Your reasons were fully justified. I was a horrible person to Nesta and you were right. Even though Nesta has forgiven me... you need to know that I will change but Em... I cant do it without you. I love you...so much it hurts.”

 Emerie let out a shuddering breath,

 “I love you too.” She reached over and kissed Mor and just like that... the words that were once spoken were healed over.

 ——————

 Bonus:

 Nesta got sat down by Gwyn in an arm chair. Nesta rolled her eyes putting a hand on her swollen belly, “Gwyn i honestly can’t with you. Please let me go upstairs and get a book-“

 “ABSOLUTELY NOT! Nesta Archeron you are 8 months pregnant if you think I’m letting you go upstairs”

 The doors of the room downstairs Nesta had shifted too were flung open by the hous of wind as if to say “this is why I made this room and shifted you here”

 Nesta groaned as Gwyn gave Nesta a disappointed look.

 “Auntie NES!!!!” A shrieking voice echoed through the house as little 2 year old Nyx ran along the hallways into Nesta’s arms. Feyre and Rhysand walking close behind.

 “Hello my baby!!” Nesta tucked him into her side mindful of the baby bump.

 Nyx put a tiny hand on her belly and said,

 “My cousins in here?” Nesta nodded.

 Feyre and Rhys leaned on either side of Nesta’s armchair. Nesta gave Rhys a pleading look, Rhys turned to his mate,

 “Feyre why don’t you and Gwyn go check on the arrangements for the baby shower outside...”

 “Oh Yeah! Feyre I was wondering-“ Gwyn led Feyre outside and Rhys peered down at his sister-in-law.

 “What’s the matter Nes?”

 Nesta huffed and then saw Az and Mor and waved them over.

 They gave her a concerned look,

 “You ok?”

 “No,” Nesta whined, “I want a book and chicken! And I’m carving butterscotch candies and you know what else I’m craving? AIR! I cant even breathe without Cassian, Gwyn, Emerie or Feyre hovering over me it’s horrible!”

 Rhys laughed not being able to control himself and Nesta slapped his leg,

 “ITS NOT FUNNY!” Az and Mor quickly joined in, “what do you want us to do?”

 Nesta huffed again flailIng her arms out as Nyx cuddled closer looking up at everyone observing quietly.

 “I want you three to keep them away from me for AN HOUR that’s all! Please please just let me have this ONE hour before the baby shower please!!”

 Rhys looked at Mor and Az and then Nesta, “I mean we could try-“

 “THANK YOU!!!” She rushed up and hugged Rhys, “you’re my favourite you know.” Rhys hugged her back and scoffed, “we all know Az is your favourite Illyrian now can you please let go of me before your mate comes in, I don’t want to die today.”

 “Too late” Cassian growled from behind. And Rhys gently pushed Nesta away Nyx giggling on her side.

 Cassian shot a glare in Rhys direction and strode up to his mate, kissing her and then putting a hand on her belly. It never failed to amaze her how much his eyes sparked up with devotion whenever he beheld her. Fuck he was gonna make an amazing father.

 Nesta started crying. Gwyn stormed in.

 “CASSIAN! What have I told you about making my girl emotional before the baby shower!”

 Cassian stepped back holding up his hands in defence, “I didn’t even- hold on she is MY mate why the hell are you-“

 “CONSIDER YOUR WORDS GENERAL”

 “You consider yours! You can’t tell me to stay away from my pregnant mate-“

 “I CAN AND I WILL YOU KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE I HAD HER FIRST-“

 “I KNEW HER FIRST-“

 “AND YOUR BEHAVIOUR WAS SHITTY-“

 Nesta put her hands over her ears, Nyx mirroring her movement. Nesta smirked down at her 2 year old nephew.

 Rhysand on the other hand was trying to weather the fight between Gwyn and Cassian and made subtle nod for Nesta to dip. Nesta winked at Nyx and picked him up stealthily walking to the haven of her room.

 As they both lay in bed together Nyx giggled,

 “We fooled them Auntie Nes!”

 Nesta laughed, “we did!” Nyx put a hand on her belly and laughed aloud when he heard his cousin kick,

 “Did you feel that auntie???!!”

 “Yes they are inside me Nyxie,” they both laughed then Nyx looked up,

 “Is uncle Cass not leaving you alone?”

 Nesta groaned, “not at ALL.”

 Nyx considered, “hmmm.... I think we should be mad at him.”

 “We definitely should for being so over bearing but forget about Cassian let’s read a book while they argue downstairs.”

 The house plopped several books down on Nesta’s table which showed exactly how long the argument was going to go on according to the house.

 After about and hour or so (because That’s the only amount of time Cassian is willing to stay away from her) Cassian came in,

 “Baby we’re gonna do the gender reveal now.” Nyx gave Cassian a Nesta signature glare which was surprising for a 2 year old,

 “What did I do?!”

 “Mama Nesta said you’re being a bear!”

 Nesta laughed, “over bearing Nyxie not a bear!”

 Nyx blushed, “my bad... but yeah what she said.”

 Cassian rolled his eyes and then gestured outwards, “C’mon.” When Nesta and Nyx didn’t get up he went over and pulled his maye to her feet and then picked Nyx up leading them both outside, Nesta on his arm.

 As they came out their family cheered and Cassian passed Nyx to Rhys. The couple strode up to the 2 tier cake decorated with gold and white. Nesta smiled at Gwyn and Emerie as Gwyn shoved a “future mommy” sash, them matching with “co godmother sashes. She looked up at the face of her mate to find Cassian already looking at her, utter devotion on his eyes as he rubbed a hand over her belly and then picked up the knife. She held onto it as well as they both leaned forward and cut the cake. They pulled the cake out and watched it drop onto the plate.

 Pink. They were having a daughter.

 Everyone burst out into cheers around them and Nesta cried out laughing as Cassian engulfed her in his embrace. Elain and Feyre reached over to hug her and then parted for her best friends. Her chosen family.

 Emerie and Gwyn gripped onto her tightly, both crying,

 “You guys are my yellow.”

 Gwyn tipped her head back and laughed, Azriel’s eyes glinting with admiration behind her.

 Emerie grinned, her wings rustling, Mor’s eyes misting with love.

 Nesta turned to look at her own mate who smiled softly towards her.

 She wouldn’t spend eternity with anyone else except them.

---------------

TAGS: @idc-camille  @wannawriteyouabook @skychild29 @aesthetics-11 @perseusannabeth

[peachybowen]

stupid • r.b

series masterlist

  pt.1 pt.2

pairing: ricky bowen x reader

warnings: swearing? cliche things? My writing?

songs: I think you kinda, you know by Joshua Bassett, Start of Something New by Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron

words: 3.6k

A/N: this is my first time posting/writing on Tumblr! I hope u enjoy xx

italics= little scenes? (like the scene where Ricky says: „this is a nightmare. Love is dead.”) :)

crossed words is when they usually turn to the camera you know :))

There may also be a few mistakes but I tried my best! :)

Junior year. Another year sitting in a classroom full of teenagers. Also another year of creating memories with my two best friends, Ricky and Big Red. Ricky Bowen, the cutest boy you will ever meet. Trust me on this he's so cute I-

,,Today's the day guys. It's happening.'' Ricky stated excited while nudging my shoulder. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

,,Hell yeah. Junior year, baby'' Big Red replied just as excited as Ricky.

,,Might grow a mustache. Might do a lot of things.'' he continued with a grin on his face. I just kept on walking between the two idiots.

,,Dude, I'm talking about Nini.'' Ricky said with a smile. The smile on my face was now replaced by a frown. I grabbed my backpack straps and continued walking.

,,Today's the day we start over.'' Ricky explained.

While we were walking down the stairs of East High School, Ricky said something about him and Nini texting and her sounding mutual.

,,Nothing about bad news or needing to have a big talk. Just ,,Hey.'' That's good right?'' the boy continued and turned his head to me. I just shrugged.

,,Summers are no man's land, Ricky. I don't know what ''Hey.'' means and neither does Y/N or you.'' Big Red sighed and started to walk faster.

,,I think it's good.'' Ricky breathed out and sent a smile my way which i obviously returned. Soon after we actually found Nini by her locker talking to her best friend, Kourtney. We said our hellos and it was silent for a second.

,,Can we talk?'' Nini asked and turned to look at Ricky. He looked shocked.

,,I met somebody else at camp. I didn't plan-'' she tried to explain but Ricky interuppted her asking if it was a joke. They both didn't seem to care that we stood there watching the scene unfold in front of us.

,,Still talking here.'' Nini snapped and continued.

,,I didn't plan for it to happen but it happened. He was the Music Man, I was Marian, the librarian. It's called a showmance.'' she finished looking her, now ex boyfriend, straight in the eyes.

,,Wait, you went to librarian camp? That's a thing?'' the red headed boy beside me asked. I looked at him and nudged him so he would stop asking dumb questions.

,,Please tell me you're joking.'' Ricky wailed. I could literally see the hurt in his eyes.

,,I'm not.'' Big Red and Nini replied at the same time. I kicked Big Red this time to finally shut him up.

,,Come on, Ricky you know what you did! Or you didn't do.'' Nini pointed out. I knew what she was referring to. The night she told him that she loved him. Ricky came over that night explaining everything and that he wasn't ready to say the L-Word yet. It was the night where I realized how I really felt for him. We played 'Just Dance' all night and my goal was honestly just to make him happy. He was so stressed and worried. I just wanted him to have fun and forget about all that Nini stuff, even if it just was for 5 minutes.

,,Good morning, students. Please make your way to the gym for our annual back-to-school kickoff.'' a teacher announced trough the speakers. Nini was about to leave when Ricky spoke up again.

,,I don't belive this. You're blowing me off for some theater punk you met four weeks ago? At a lake?'' Ricky asked still in disbelief that he was getting dumped.

,,You kinda dumped me!'' the girl snapped back.

,,It was a break. It wasn't a break-up.'' he corrected. At this point it was hard to watch. It was awkard standing there, watching the drama onfold in front of my eyes but I didn’t want to leave Ricky alone.

,,I'm sorry Ricky but it is a break-up now.''

,,Pop off girl.'' Kourtney, Nini's best friend, commented. Me and Big Red turned to look at her.

,,Stay out of it, Kourtney.'' Big Red hissed.

,,I'm dismantling the patriarchy this year, and I'm not afraid to start with you.'' Kourtney threatend before Nini left with her. I turned to look at Ricky who was frozen in his place.

We were sitting in the Gym soon after the whole agrument. The kickoff was boring.

,,And I am also pleased to announce that this year, seniors will be allowed to wear baseball hats on Fridays.'' the principal announced. Everyone just looked at him not saying a word. Well besides that one girl who screamed: ,,Go seniors!''. The principal continued a few seconds later.

,,And now for a special introduction. This year, East High has a new drama teacher with an announcement that she swore, in writing, would not cost too much money.'' he said and gestured to a woman who was sitting in the front. Everything was silent again. Nobody clapped besides two students.

,,Why? Why do things have to change?'' Ricky asked staring at Nini who was sitting two or three rows in front of him. We turned our heads to look at a heart broken Ricky.

,,Some things never change.'' I replied in a whisper, smiling when he turned to look at me.

,,I've been wearing the same socks for three days.'' Big Red added with a shrug. I looked down at his feet for a second and gagged dramatically. Big Red just smiled and turned his attention back to the new drama teacher. I did the same.

,,My name is Miss Jenn, and when I heard that the high school where High School Musical was shot had never staged a production of High School Musical, the musical, I was shocked as an actress, inspired as a director, and triggered as a millennial.'' she explained. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion for the second time that day.

Millennial?

,,Auditions are tomorrow after school.'' Ms. Jenn continued and looked around.

,,This show could change your lives, and I'm saying this as a background dancer from the original movie. Third from the left, back row, red headband, and those are my real teeth.'' she exclaimed happily. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nini nudging Kourtney to  indirectly say that she was gonna audition. After that she introduced us to the student Choreograph, Carlos.

Sitting at our usual table at lunch and talking about Nini was one thing, but seeing Nini being all lovie dovie with my big brother was another. And if your wondering, no, he didn't tell me that he was dating Nini. Normally he told me everything but he just decided to not tell me that he started dating the ex-girlfriend of my best friend.

,,Dude are you seeing this?'' Red asked, looking at my brother and Nini, and then back to Ricky who was looking at them as well.

,,I'm seein' it, I'm hearin' it, I'm hatin' it.'' he replied and turned to me.

,,Did you know?'' he asked with a semi angry expression on his face.

,,What? No! And you know that I would have told you if I did.'' I replied looking at him.

,,I can't believe it.'' Red muttered still watching the couple.

,,She's dating my brother.'' I mumbled turning my gaze to them as well.

,,Yes. I have eyes'' Ricky growled, clearly being annoyed.

,,Co-captain of the water polo team. Senior class treasurer.'' Red listed eating his food.

,,That's correct.'' Ricky mumbled still annoyed as shit.

,,What are the odds that the guy she hooks up with at camp goes to East High?'' the red head asked not knowing that he is annoying Ricky more and more.

,,Apparently, the odds are exceptionally good.'' Ricky snapped and I decided to show a bit sympathy.

,,I'm sorry Ricky.''

The curly haired boy turned to face me.

,,What are you gonna do?'' I asked him.

,,I don't know.'' he sighed, stood up and left, leaving me with Big Red.

,,Ok is there something you wanna tell me?'' I asked as soon as I arrived at home. EJ was sitting on the couch and was on Instagram, as always.

,,What do you mean?'' he asked looking up from his phone.

,,Oh I don't know maybe you getting a new girlfriend who was the girlfriend of my best friend by the way. How about that?'' I hinted with a mad look on my face.

,,Oh that. Yeah I'm dating Nini.'' he simply said, turning his attention to his phone again shortly after. I went to the couch and sat down beside him.

,,Why didn't you tell me?''

,,Nini told me not to say anything. She wanted to sort things out with Ricky first, you know.'' he replied turning his phone off. My gaze softened. 

,,Oh.'' I simply whispered.

,,Yeah, I'm sorry. Anyways, are you auditioning?''

,,Of course EJ.'' I answered with a smile.

,,For what part?'' he asked further.

I crossed my legs before answering.

,,Probably Taylor.''

My phone rang just as EJ was about to reply. I picked up my phone and saw that Ricky was calling me. I didn't think twice and picked up.

,,Hello?''

,,Hi, Y/N. It's Ricky. Meet me at Big Red's House. Now!'' was all he said before he hung up. I stood up and sent an apologetic smile towards my big brother before grabbing his car keys and my shoes.

,,I'm taking your car! Love you!'' I yelled before closing the door and running to the car.

,,Okay, I know it's crazy, dude, but she has to see me in a whole new light.'' Ricky explained while I was sitting on a chair and Big Red was playing a videogame.

,,But we hate musicals.'' Red argued, still focused on his game.

,,I don't.'' I chimed in, rolling my eyes at Big Red's argument.

,,I just think it's weird when people, like, burst into song in the middle of the street.'' Ricky stated, paching around in the room.

,,That is a musical.'' I retorted, looking at my best friend.

,,Okay, look. I'm auditioning for this thing tomorrow, and nothing is gonna stop me.'' he declared.

,,Do you even know the plot of High School Musical?''

,,Of course! It's about Zac Efron dancing with a basketball.''

,,Wrong. It's about the character, Troy, having to choose between being true to his friend, Chad, or following his heart with Gabriella.'' I corrected with a smirk.

,,The point is, you're out of your league here, man. You can't pull this off.''

Ricky looked at his male best friend.

,,Yeah?'' he asked.

,,Yes.''

And with that, Ricky grabbed his Skateboard and left without saying another word.

The next day was uneventful. I was nervous because of the auditions but I got through the day without having to throw up.

,,People make sure you audition number is clearly visible on your clothes. This isn't a game.'' Carlos yelled as he walked passed me. I looked down to see my audition number. Number 5. I smiled and went to talk to my brother.

,,You know, I'm actually kinda bummed that we don't have any competition here. It would make getting the leads all the sweeter.'' he said to Nini and I rolled my eyes playfully and sat down on a chair.

,,Could you stop tempting fate?'' Nini asked with a laugh and looked at her boyfriend. EJ looked back at her and grinned. I never felt more single in my life.

,,You know what? You're right.'' she continued turning her head back to the mirror in front of her. I was about to say something but Ms.Jenn knocked on the door.

,,Okay, theater people. Let's do this!''

Everyone started cheering and got up from their chairs. The smile on my face grew and I turned to my brother.

,,Good luck!'' I said and hugged him.

,,Good luck! I love you.'' he replied and hugged me back.

,,I love you more.'' was all I said before I left the room.

We all got on stage and Ms. Jenn told us to pair up with someone who wasn't our friend. That's when I realized that Ricky wasn't there. I sighed and paired up with Ashlyn. I know that Ms.Jenn said to not pair up with a friend but she did not say to not pair up with your cousin.

We all lined up and chatted till Miss Jenn started walking down the line of students. She stopped in front of a boy.

,,I'd love you to read for Ryan.''

,,You are giving major Taylor vibes.'' she said to the next girl. The next in line was Ashlyn.

,,You. You're giving me uncommon depth. Ms.Darbus?''

I looked at Ashlyn and she started smiling.

,,I'm dying. I'm deceased. Yes.'' Ashlyn replied, still smiling happily.

,,Oh. Your application says you play the piano.''

,,I dabble.''

,,You ever written a song?'' Ms.Jenn asked with a curios look.

,,Nothing I've ever shared with anyone.''

,,I always thought the drama teacher should have an Act Two power ballad. We'll sidebar.'' was all the blonde teacher said before she stood in front of me.

,,Gabriella.''

I looked at her and shook my head slowly.

,,No. I'm actually here to audition for Taylor.'' I answered a small smile forming on my lips.

,,Oh, ok.'' was all she said before she continued walking down the line.

Ricky still didn't show up and I really thought he just decided not to audition last minute. I was sitting on stage with the others. It was EJ's time to audition.

,,Okay, what do I need to know?'' Ms. Jenn whispered to Carlos.

,,EJ Caswell. Big brother of Y/N Caswell, most Instagram followers. Wakes up looking like that-'' was all I could hear from their little conversation. Soon after EJ started singing 'Start of Something New’ while Seb played the piano.

,,Well, excuse me. Armie Hammer called. He wants his jawline back.'' The female teacher joked with a bright smile on her face. I sent a smile towards him which he returned.

,,Moving on with the Taylor's and after that we're gonna continue with the Gabriella's!'' she announced while clapping, shortly after.

It was my time to audition and, boy was I nervous. I was trying really hard not to throw up on stage in front of everyone. Like, I auditioned for plays before but I wasn't like my brother who was really confident in the things he did. I'm the sibling that overthinks everything.

,,Ok Y/N start when you're ready.'' Carlos said and waited for me to start. I took a deep breath and started reading Taylor’s lines. It was the scene where she apologized for trying to manipulate Gabriella and Troy's relationship.

,,Gabriella, we were jerks. No, we were worse than jerks because we were mean jerks. We thought Troy and the whole singing thing was killing our chances of having you on the scholastic decathlon team.''

,,Thank you Y/N! Now let's hear your singing.'' Ms.Jenn instructed. My eyes grew wide and I gasped.

,,Hold on. Jade didn't need to sing and she auditioned for Taylor as well. Why do I need to sing?''

,,Just do it!'' EJ whisper-yelled. I turned my gaze to him and then back to Carlos and Ms.Jenn who smiled widely. 

,,Ok.'' I mumbled and looked at Seb who started playing the Piano seconds later.

,,Livin' in my own world

Didn't understand

That anything can happen

When you take a chance

I never believed in

What I couldn't see

I never opened my heart (Oh) To all the possibilities

I know that something has changed

Never felt this way and right here tonight

This could be the start of something new

It feels so right to be here with you (oh)

And now looking in your eyes

I feel in my heart (feel in my heart)

The start of something new.''

In conclusion...I sang my heart out.

,,Great, thank you Y/N. Let's continue with the Gabriella's!''

I smiled and sat down beside Nini. She smiled at me and I returned it. My brother sent me the same proud smile as Nini.

Gina was incredible. She was a multi-talent. I was kinda jealous. I mean I knew she could dance but she could also sing like a goddess. It was Nini's turn after Gina. To be honest, I did not think she could take on Gina. I mean she mostly played Trees and animals in plays soo...you know.

Just as Nini positioned herself on stage, Ricky came running in with his guitar.

,,Am I too late?'' he yelled, totally out of breath. Nini looked not so pleased.

,,We're all set on Troys. We're low on Chads. You can read after the Gabriellas.'' Ms.Jenn stated and turned her attention back to Nini, who still looked mortified.

,,I only studied the Troy scenes in the movie.'' Ricky told her while walking up the stairs. My brother rolled his eyes at Ricky, which lead me to roll my eyes at him.

,,Troy would have arrived on time.'' Carlos commented.

,,Thanks. Let me do the talking.'' the blonde whispered to the young choreograph.

,,Okay Nini let's try this again.''

Nini looked so much more nervous than before. No wait. She looked terrified. I didn't blame her. Having her current boyfriend and her ex-boyfriend in a room while you're trying to audition for a lead role is kinda nerve-racking.

,,You got this babe!'' EJ literally screamed. The scream startled Ms.Jenn so much that she spilled her coffee over the sound system. All the lights turned off.

,,Nobody panic! Nini, let's wait for the lights to come back on. I don't want this to throw you.''

,,I'm not thrown.'' the brunette replied. Everyone looked at her (well as best as they could.) and she started singing. Not even a minute later, Ricky got his phone out and turned on the flashlight, literally holding it in Nini's face. And of course, EJ got up and did the same. Nini was really good. Like really really good. Just as she finished singing, the lights came back on.

,,Well, thank you Nini. I only needed 32 bars but I appreciate your commitment.'' Ms.Jenn said while Carlos held up his right thumb. She turned her attention back to Ricky.

,,You, late boy.''

He looked at her.

,,Let's do the Chad sides.''

Ricky nodded and grabbed the script. It was quiet. Ricky looked at me and i sent him a (hopefully) comforting smile. Big Red came in last second as well. He held his thumbs up and smiled.

,,Hey, there. I'm Ricky Bowen. I'm a junior. And here it goes.'' he said before he started. I smiled the whole time, trying to somehow lift his spirit. He started reading the lines but stopped a few seconds later. My smile slightly faded and I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. He crumbled the script in his fist and I turned to look at Big Red who was looking at me with the same expression I had on my face.

,,I don't know. Maybe its the way Gabriella always had your back. And maybe you can't stop beating yourself up for totally blowing it with her'' Ricky began, looking at Nini who was sitting beside me.

,,And look, Troy. Even if you never said the L-word to Gabriella, 'cause that's, like, not even a word your parents say to each other anymore. That doesn't mean that you don't. Maybe it just means you were waiting for the right time to say it. So that everyone could hear it.'' he continued looking Nini. She was trying to avoid eye contact though.

,,No. That she could.'' he finished after a short pause. My smile was completely gone and I just looked at my hands.

,,Okay kiddo. Time to sing.''

Before Seb could even start playing the piano, Ricky asked if he could sing his own song. Ms.Jenn just agreed and he grabbed his guitar. And the next thing I knew was that he started singing the song Nini wrote for him. Don't get me wrong. I was so proud of him for being so damn brave but it still hurt a lot. I sighed and slowly got up, leaving the room. Just to clear my mind for a bit.

,,Clear!'' Carlos yelled as he ran past me with a blue piece of paper in his hands. I followed him, realizing that it was the cast list. Everyone was crowding around it so I didn't really get to see if I got the Taylor part.

,,"Chad"? She thinks I'm a Chad?'' EJ asked dumbfounded, his ego obviously hurt. I really thought he was gonna get the Troy part. Everyone stepped back and I finally got to look at the list.

Taylor McKessie - Gina Porter

Honestly the day couldn't have gone worse. First the Ricky thing and then the Musical. Big Red seemed to notice my sudden mood switch.

,,Y/N?'' he asked and I looked up to him with glassy eyes. He started smiling.

,,Look at the top of the list.'' he said chuckling. I did as he said and my eyes grew wide.

Gabriella Montez - Y/N Caswell

I turned to look at my best friend. I was so confused.

that's why Miss Jenn asked me to sing.

Big Reds' smile grew bigger and bigger every second. Mine did as well. But then I realized that Nini wanted the role and I practically just stole it from her. I looked at the list again.

Gabriella Montez understudy - Nini Salazar-Roberts

I looked at Nini and smiled at her. She flashed a sad smile my way and went to talk to EJ.

Big Red hugged me and, of course, I hugged him back. Ricky then stepped forward, searching for his name on the list.

Troy Bolten - Ricky Bowen

And that was definitely the start of something new.

[janevx]

maybe| Yuta Nakamoto VII

genre: mafia au, angst, smut

 Flight to Japan was bored. Yuta was busy with working trough his phone. Also, he talked with some people about three times, but Soyeon didn’t care. This was his job and even in his private life he doesn’t have much free time. She was understanding him, because she hasn’t any other way. She also noticed that he was kinda stressed. His jaw clenched and his eyes was getting darker. 

 When they arrived his eyes was at her. No where is safe enough, in Japan everyone could regonize him. Boss japanese team of NCT. Also they was looking at him, as really scarry guy. Not a lot of people saw he smiling or something. Usually angry face or raw, without many emotions. 

 Yuta was kinda scarred to his feelings. When he was younger he was hurt so many times by friends, parents even his own girlfriend, who was cheating on him. His past was just terrible and he would do anything to forget his past, but he couldn’t. There’s no way to forget this. He trusted this people and they turned around to him and leave him or hurt him. Also, his past is reason why he joined NCT. Anger was growing in him and all of this takes him where he is today. This day, when they arrived should be calm day, but nah. Some co-workers had to pissed him off. He couldn’t control his anger. When someone fucked up something in their job, he is just really mad.

 Soyeon decided to not to talk to him. She didn’t want to fight with her husband. She wanted peace and as fast as it’s possible get wedding ceremony. Her parents should be in Japan before them, and if Nakamoto couple arrived, they should contact Soyeon’s parents to talk.

— I would recommended to you to talk with your parents, because trust me, if they gonna do something wrong my men will kill them in blink of the eye.  — He looked into her eyes  — I hope they don’t gonna do something stupid. Remember honey, everything has conseqences.

 She nodded slowly. Soyeon thought that nothing bad could happen. Her parents knew who NCT is and what did they do. They not gonna put them and their precious daughter in danger, right?

Soyeon: Mommy, we in. Where are you?

Mommy: We in XXXX hotel in room number XX. 

Soyeon: Im gonna go to you, be ready xoxo

------------------------

 She walked in with slight smile. Her parents first off hugged her. They missed her so much. They haven’t seen her about 3 weeks. Zero contanct, zero info, nothing. They loved her the most of the world, they want her to be safe, but now? How could they do it? NCT are powerful, and they can’t do anything, can they?

— Soyeon, my god, how do you feel? Is everything okay? He did something to you?

— No, mom. He is good for me. I’m safe at his side.

— Did he hurt you?

— Dad, calm down. He isn’t that guy. He never hurt me.

— You sure?

— I’m pretty sure. But what about you? Did NCT contact you?

— Nope, only boy named Jaehyun sent us invitation to your wedding. They left us, but they also said about you. We know that we can’t be in touch with you.

— I miss you two everyday, but we can’t do anything. I want you to be safe.

— We are safe and you will.

 Dad touch her shoulder.

— What do you mean by I will?

— Soyeon, we were at police station. They could help us.

— WHAT DID YOU DO? Are you kidding me right now?!

— Why are you so mad? We want to help you!

— You don’t understand! They would kill you! Yuta warned me to talk to you about doing something stupid, becasue always are conseqences! They will fuckin kill you!

— Daughter, police can help us an..

— And what? They have people in police, they aren’t scared od anyone, got it? Everyone are SCARED of THEM. If he find out he would kill you..What to do? What to do?

— We are sorry..

— Inform police and lie to them, anything. Say something like it was prank or whatever.  — She gasp  — I can’t.. I’m leaving right now. Why did you do it? I’m trying to keep you safe and away from Yuta, but you did this.. You better pray to god for forgivness or policemen to belive you.

 She left. She was angry, fuckin angry. She doing everything to keep her friends and family safe, away from her problem and from NCT, but they contact police, even tho that they were told to not contact police or they gonna die.

 Soyeon also was scarred if Yuta will find out, she doesn’t want to him kill her parents. Wedding is after tommorow, maybe at this time everything gonna be alright..

---------

— You talked with them?

— Yes, I did.

— And?

— And what?

— You said about consequences?

— Of course, I did. They not gonna do something stupid.  — She lied.

— I hope so, honey. Now I have to leave for few hours. Don’t unlock doors and remember to close and cover all the windows in flat. If someone would knoced don’t let him in. No matter what, don’t let anyone in. If something would happen you MUST call me, got it sweatheart?

— I got it Yuta.

— Why don’t you respond “honey”, “sweatheart”, “baby”, “babe” only my name..

— I don’t feel comfortable enough to do this.

— Like you want to. Now I’m going. Call in emergency.

[futurewriter2000]

Mirror Pieces

A/N: I am actually really excited about this one because it’s my first Fred Weasley x male reader and I hope I really did good on this one. I honestly want to be in a relationship now but no- actually..there is a guy ;) hehe in my class ... hmmm. This was so hard not to do a serie. 

REQUEST: Sirius has a Slytherin son who's dating one of the Weasley twins but still thinks his dad's a murderer and them meeting in poa or ootp and making up or summin ?

XX

You were supposed to be studying. Of course, what were you doing? - Not that. Your eyes were on the ceiling, your feet on the table, right top on the books as you kept yourself in your own thoughts. 

‘ (y/n) Black. Of course, the only son of Sirius Black. The last descendant of the worst family in the wizarding world. Death Eaters. Pureblood maniacs. Murderers. What a mix.’ you thought as you let out a chuckle. ‘ Sirius Black sighted: A massive serial murderer, Sirius Black, was sighted in the Knockturn alley this fall and again in Hogsmeade village this spring-’ the words from the Daily Prophet- you knew them word by word. 

“What is it Black? Plotting a massive murder?” one of the Slytherins retorded as they passed you by on the other side. 

You looked up at them, dead in the eyes before getting your pencil between your hands and giving them a malicious smirk. “Yeah. I’m thinking of snapping those pretty little necks.” and you snapped the pencil in your hand. They widened their eyes and quickly scattered off. 

There was nothing fun about that. You wanted them to know not to mess with you but not in the way you just did. You hated when everybody thought of you as the murderer’s son. Bellatrix’s little nephew though she was never really your aunt but everybody kept calling her that. 

“Brutal.” a voice came from behind and you smiled at the sound. “They wouldn’t be running away from you if they knew what a softie you really are inside.” he joked and stood behind you. You tilted your head backwards on the chair and looked up at the redhead above you. 

“Hey.” you smiled and he leaned down to kiss you.

“Hey.” he replied softly, sitting beside you. “What’s on your mind?” 

“My mind?” you pointed at yourself and smiled. “You know? The usual: how to kill thirteen Muggles.” 

“(y/n).” he sighed but you continued.

“And betray my best friends- kill two of them- get imprisoned- escape- go find Harry Potter and finish him off.” you now started to get irritated and slammed your feet from the table and on the ground. 

“(y/n).” Fred took a hold of your hand with both of his and brushed his thumb on it’s backside. “You’re not like him.” 

“How do you know that? I bet James Potter and Peter Pettigrew thought Sirius was different from his family as well. Like father like son.” you ripped your hand away from him and stormed away. 

You knew. You knew Fred wanted nothing more but make you feel better but you were so furious. At the Slytherins? Your father? Yourself? You couldn’t really tell but it was getting to you and- “Bloody hell!” you cursed as you just thought of the books you left back in the library. The exam is in two days. 

You turned around to walk back but you were walking so fast you didn’t had the chance to stop when another student walked in front of you and the two of backed away. 

“Sorry.” mumbled the boy in his gryffindor robes. Jet black hair, green eyes-

“Great.” you heard yourself mumble. 

The two of you were standing there. Just standing like two goddamn idiots. Here it was, Harry Potter, James Potter’s son who was your father’s best friend, who made sure to kill him. 

To be honest, you and Harry got along until he found out your father was his godfather. James was yours but as much as complicated it was, it was simple when the two of you stared at eachothers eyes. 

“I need to go to the library- excuse me.” you walked pass him and walked back to the library, not finidng your books or your boyfriend there. “Fuck.” you mumbled again, earning a shush from one of the students. 

---

You walked into the Gryffindor common room, stopping at the entrance and looking around. He was sitting on the sofa, his eyes on a magazine from Hogsmeade and his smirk growing in a smile as he flipped another page. You smiled at the sight and walked towards him. 

Squatting down beside the sofa, you put your arms on the armrest and your chin gently on the top of your hands, looking up at him with the best puppy dog eyes you could manage. “I’m sorry.” you pouted at him. 

His eyes glanced at you, contemplating his thoughts but to him, you just seemed too adorable with those eyes and that pout that he, Fred Weasley, just couldn’t stay mad. He tried though. “No. You broke my heart.” he joke and, looked back at the magazine. 

“Can I do anything to fix it?” you tilted your head on your hand and though he was smiling, he shook his head in denial. You smiled and jumped on your feet. You grabbed the magazine from his hands and threw it on the table. Sitting beside him, you dropped your arm around his shoulders and kept looking at him. He kept his eyes forward. He knew your affective stare. He knew that as soon as he would look at them, he was done. 

“No.” he shook his head but you moved closer, observing every freckle of his. 

“I’m really sorry.” you smiled and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. “Like really sorry.” you now gave him another, closer to the corner of his mouth. He now turned his head towards you and smiled, looking down on your lips. “So sorry.” you now kissed his lips and he let you. He repositioned himself, letting you deepen the kiss and put his hands on you. 

“Next time you’ll be mad at me, I’ll just steal your books all over again.” he smiled as he pulled away and you rolled your eyes. 

“My God. You found my weak spot.” you joked sarcastically and he laughed.

“Just get back here.”

---

The next time you saw your boyfriend was in different circumstances. 

“Where are you taking me Uncle?” you rolled your eyes as he kept pushing you forward. 

“It’s just a little bit further.” he pushed you, stopped and turned you around. “(y/n).” he squated down and you knew something was up. He wouldn’t be giving you this look if something was wrong.

“Oh no.”

“Now, now. I wanted to talk to you about it this whole summer and I thought I had a week left but we had to come early here- so- uhm.” he cleared his throat. “It’s about your father.” he finally said and you continued to look at him casually.

That didn’t even strike you as any news. “What about my father?” 

“He- well- uhm- he’s here.” he continued and you contiued to have the same, unreadable face expression. 

He stared. You stared. 

“No.” you turned around and started to leave but Remus quickly took you by the arm and pulled you back. “NO, UNCLE! I’m not going to see him!” 

“You have to. He has to explain to you.” he spoke calmly.

“Explain how he murdered those 13 innocent victims?” you scoffed and took a few steps back.

“It’s how he didn’t murder those 13 innocent victims.” Remus sighed and you continued to watch. 

That was news. That was the opposite what you were used to hearing and maybe just that set your mind not to belive him.

“You’re lying. You’re just trying to drag me in there.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”he quirked an eyebrow and you let yourself doubt him.

No. He never lied to you, so why would he lie about something that important. “Fine.” you spoke grumply. “This better be one hell of an explenation.”

---

And it was one hell of a long, thought out explenation. 

You wore black boots, black jeans and a grey hoodie. Your hair was messed up a bit as your eyes were narrowed and glaring at his grey ones. You were sat down, your boots corssed one over another meanwhile your arms over your chest. 

It took Sirius a moment or two to collect his thoughts. You had the attitude similar to his when he was your age. You held the same glare, the same frown it was almost unbeliavable to him that you were his son, that you, (y/n) Black was showing him what he looked like. 

He stared. You glared. 

It was again the smiliar hate the two of you shared for your parents. Sirius towards his mother, meanwhile you towards him. 

Oh, how the world spinns.

After he finished, he was already sitting next to you, trying somehow to reach you, touch you, hold you. You were his one and only son. You were the fruit of his love and that made him think everything in his cursed life. Because no matter how cursed he has been in the past, everything was worth it for the miracle in front of him.

“Say something, please.” he begged as the silence grew thicker. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say?” you turned your head to the side. “I forgive you, pop? I love you, pop? These 14 years without you were worth everything I had to go through for what you did, ppp?” you started to raise your tone at him. 

“I couldn’t control myself back then.” he looked away shamefully.

“It’s not about that. It’s about when you thought of killing Pettigrew, you never thought of what would happen to me? Who is unfotrunately your son!” you were now standing up. “I was shoved from family to family until Remus finally took me in. I was unwelcomed those first few homes. I felt like an insect, living under a different roof. And then finally Remus came from me, after grieving like a normal wizard after his two- excuse me. One best friend and raised me to be the man I am today. He is more of a father than you will ever be!” you shouted and stormed away. 

You climbed up those devil’s stairs and slammed the door behind you. You threw yourself on the bed and just screamed in the pillow like a typical teenage boy. 

There came a knock and a soft voice that you learned to adore. “Can I come in?” he already opened the door.

“You already are.” you mumbled into the pillow, not pulling away. “You could feel his weight on the edge of the bed, a silence between the two of you until he said.

“I’m giving you a bear hug.”

“Don’t.”

“I’m doing it.” he said and before you could say anything he was already sprawled on your back and hugging you. “I know that you probably don’t want to hear this and I love you but you are acting like a real git towards him.” he said and you finally decided to turn around, looking at him with a quirked eyebrow. The two of you repositioned so that he was now laying half on your chest, his hands one over the other and his ching on top of them. “If Lee killed me, wouldn’t you want to revenge me.” 

“That’s-”

“Wouldn’t you?” he asked but you kept quiet. “Cuz if you wouldn’t than I will be pretty offended.” he joked and you smiled at that.

Your hands wrapped themselves around him and you said. “Of course. In a heartbeat but that’s totally different. We don’t have a kid together. Of course, I would think of the kid.”

“With your temper, I doubt it.” he contineud to joke and you playfully shoved him off, laying on your side. 

“I am not speaking to you.” you joked and he climbed back to you, kissing your cheek.

“You can’t avoid this sexiness forever and you know it.” he teased and you laughed. “And you can’t avoid your father forever.” he then said more seriously and you wondered off. “Give him a second chance. From everything he went through, he deserves at least that. “

He was now standing away from the bed and walking towards the door. Before he could reach the door knob someone knocked on the door and slightly opened it.

It was Sirius. 

“Oh, hey- uh- Fred or George?” he looked at Fred and Fred grinned at the opportunity.

“It’s Gus. Fred is my brother.” and he smiled at you and left. 

Sirius only walked forward, stopped, turned around and furrowed his eyebrows. “Gus? I was sure Molly said George.” he shrugged and shook off. 

You tried to keep calm but seeing him was causing other emotions bubble up. Yet you gritted your teeth and sat down. “I can never forget that you left me for fourteen years.” you started and he sat down next to you.

“I don’t expect you to.”

“But I’m willing to give you a second chance.” you finished and his head shot up in surprise.

“You are?” 

“Life treats us unfair all the time. Looking at Harry, he doesn’t have a father but I do. I have you and if I didn’t give you a second chance, I could never forgive myself.” you looked at him and he smiled with teary eyes. 

“Why- what-?”

“Gus.” you rolled your eyes and chuckled at the sound. 

“It doesn’t sound right.” Sirius kept furrowing his eyebrows. 

“I don’t see anything wrong with it.” you grinned at him and he narrowed your eyes at you, knowing that grin far too well. You were quite a miscevious four-year-old as he remembered.

“Karma is going to bite me in the arse, won’t it?”

“It’s already here.” you wrapped your arm around his shoulder and gave him one hell of a wicked wink. “Guess I threw myself after you a little after all.”

“Which is?”

“I’m no saint either.”

[fairymadnessyeah]

Birthday Boys

Summary: A Modern setting AU for the Todoroki´s birthday boys. It’s basically a reunion fic, so enjoy.

Part 1 of 4 (For now)

Next part next Saturday.

P.s : Happy Birthday Shouto

Warning: Mentions of past abuse and street violence

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“We have the chips, nee-san” A stoic looking teenager said as he entered the place carring a plastic bag. A smaller greenette behind him carring three bags and two other teenagers with presents, too. “And Iida and Uraraka are here”

“Welcome!” Fuyumi said, taking the bags from his brother and the green kid.

This may have been an ordinary thing for anybody. But not for this family.

Before their fathers arrest, life for the Todoroki family was a nightmare. They had no normalcy. Birthdays were never celebrated, Shouto wasn’t allowed to interact with his sibblings and their mother had snapped and had to be interned to a hospital for the sake of her menyal health. And Touya…

Well, they didn’t like to think about it.

But now, they were a family, that could have friends over and celebrate their birthdays together and however they saw fit, without worring over what would happen to their mother or baby brother if Enji found out.

When their father was finally out of the picture, Fuyumi, being the older sibbling (not eldest, she wasn’t the eldest) inherited all of Enji´s money and possesions. From the state to his boxing trophies. She sold the state and bought a nice apartment near her job, Natsuo’s collegue and Shouto High school. She basically lived alone since Natsuo had a roomate on campus, Shouto had the dorms in UA and their mother wasn’t ready to live utside the hospital.

But, now that Enji was gone, Natsuo came by more often and their mother had recoverred enought to go outside without trembling. Although, to Fuyumi, the best part was that Shouto came every Friday night and stayed until Monday morning when he had to go to school.

Every weekend felt like a dream. Because they were all together. Well… almost.

Little by little the guest started to arrive. There weren’t many people over, Shouto’s class, two other friends and Midoriya’s mom and stepdad. They couldn’t not invite them.

It was thanks to them that they were able to be were they are now. Who would have thought that the adopted son of their old man’s rival, would have been the start of their salvation?

Before the dorm sistem was applied at UA, the green kid, Izuku Midoriya did everything he could to help Shouto when he learned about their father. He would help him feel included, explain everything he didn’t understand, he even kept him in his house for a month during break. That was when Mrs Inko and Mr Yagi learned about their situacion. And when Mrs Midoriya helped Fuyumi get over her fear of her dad to report him.

The process was rather quick. Even if their father was a famous and respected boxing champion, there was too much evidence against him. He was locked down in November.

The party was going expectacularly. They weren’t allowed to make too much noise because of their mom, but Shouto’s classmates were heaven sent. They didn’t make a mess and even included their mother in activities. Even the explosive blonde that, according to Shouto, knows more cuss words than mentally possible, was calmingly explaining to their mom how to beat his classmates in Mario Kart.

“Fuyumi,” Mrs Inko called her from the living room. “the front desk called, they said somebody is at the entrance and that they need to speak with you.”

“Oh, it’s probably another guest, could you watch over the food?”

“Yes, dear”

She took her keys and headed to the elevator. When she reached the front desk, she noticed a… tired looking guy wearing a black hooding and pants playing with his phone and sitting on the floor. He didn’t look up from the screen until she asked him if he was the one that asked for her.

The man (could she called him that? the guy was so skinny that if he wasn’t malnurished, he was probably a really tall teenager) stood up and put his hands in his hoody’s pocket. “My name is Shigaraki Tomura, I think I know your brother?”

“Do you?” She didn’t remember him. If he was in Shouto’s class, she would have seen him at least once.

“Is this him?” The stranger took his wallet off his back pocket and showed her a picture.

It was her brother. But not Shouto or Natsuo.

It was spikey, messed up hair that he refused to brush. Hard edges that had been bruised more times than she could count. Turquoise eyes that burned with rage that increased after every training section with dad.

There were things that could have throw her off. Like the piercings, the black hair, the arms completly covered in ink.

But that was him.

He was looking at the camera confused with a steaming mug in his hand.

That was Touya. Her big brother. The eldest sibbling. Their missing piece.

Suddenly, she couldn’t talk. She had so many question but none of them, not even one wanted to come out. Her eyes were getting watery, but she could barelly notice with her feelings and doubts swarming in her head.

She took a deep breath to try to calm herself. She couldn’t scare off the only lead in 10 years of Touya off.

“How did you get that picture?” She finally asked, her voice shakey and almost breaking.

The guy, Shigaraki, closed his wallet and sighted. “We live together. He goes by Dabi now though. I thought you might want to see him again” He took out a card of his wallet and took a pen from the receptionist. He scribbled something down and offered it to her. “My number is in it. If I don’t answer, call the bar and ask for Kurogiri. He will give me any message you leave.”

She took the card carefully without looking at it. As if she did, she would wake up and this would be a dream.

“I should warn you though” He continued “He hasn´t been in the best… company for a while. Hope I hear from you”. With that, Shimura turned and left, leaving Fuyumi alone in the lobby.

She could still feel the rought paper of the card against her palm. She headed back to the elevator in automatic. Not that it mattered. Very little things mattered right now. The only thing that was now on her mind was that Touya wasn’t dead.

And it wasn’t delusional hope, this was real. She saw proof. She had proof. Finally looking down, she read the card.

Black Mist Bar xxxx-xxxx

Shigaraki T. xxx-xx-xxx-xx

The last part was written down with a messy scribble but it was there. Solid proof that Touya was alive and that they could see him again. Feeling tears fall out of her eyes, she put the card in her back pocket and headed out of the elevator to her apartment. She rubbed the tears off with her sleeve, minding her glasses and entered as if her world hadn’t been turn upside down.

The place was still filled with laughter and joy. The kids were all still playing Mario Kart but were searching for other games to play in a shelf, Rei was speaking with Natsuo and Mr Toshinori and Mrs Midoriya was leaving food in their coffee table for the kids.

Once the party finished and all of Shouto´s friend left, Fuyumi drove their mother to the hospital. She thought about telling her about the news, but decided not to. The last time they told her mother news about him, was when he ran away. She didn’t react well and they had to sedate her so she wouldn’t hurt herself.

Besides, the only thing she knew was that this random guy Sigaraki, thought that maybe his roommate was their long lost brother. Giving her mother the news that his first son that is presummed dead might be alive to then tell her that it wasn’t him or a ruse seemed cruel. And her mother was making an excellent progress, today was an milestone for her. She spent almost five hour with more that 20 people with loud noises without having an relapse. She even smiled and made a new friend with Mrs Inko.

She couldn’t tell her. Not yet.

When she arrived back home, Natsuo and Shouto were cleaning up. They were both talking animatedly about all the gifts Shouto had received. They looked so happy.

‘Should I tell them?’ Fuyumi questioned. She didn’t have to worry about their reaction, not like with her mom. But Natsuo had already lost all hope of finding Touya, considered him the dead 4 years ago, and Shouto bearly knew him. Even if they both had been through the same (Why their father decided to beat his eldest and younger child was something they never learnt), Shouto was 5 when Touya ran away at 15.

“Nee-san?” Shouto called her, staring at her worried, “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course” She tried to lie to them. But apparently it didn’t work because her two brothers shared a look and then turned back to her.

“Fuyu, what’s wrong?” Natsuo asked as he came near her.

Fuyumi sighted and told them about what happened. Shouto, with his never-changing poker face, didn’t have much of reaction, but Natsuo…. He couldn’t belive it, wouldn´t belive it.

“Fuyumi, are you stupid?” Natsuo asked angry “You beleave this…. random guy that shows up out of nowhere saying that our dead brother has been alive ALL THIS TIME, just because he showed you a picture of somebody that looks like him that could of been edited? Fuyu, that guy is obviously lying to get you alone to kidnap you or kill you or worse!”

“You think I don´t know thats a posibility!?” She answered, insulted by her brother´s words. “I’m not saying that I’m going to do whatever he wants just because he might know something about Touya. But this is the only lead we had in 10 years. What if this is him? What if he wants to come back to us?”

“Then he would have come years ago! I know you miss him, I do too! But he is GONE, OKAY!? He isn’t coming back!” Natsuo wiped his leaking eyes and took some plates to the kitchen.

As she listened the water running of the sink, she sighted and sat down on the couch.  Shouto sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Fuyumi returned the gesture by hugging him.

“What was the guys name?” Shouto asked quietly as to not break the moment.

Fuyumi took a deep breath and let go off him to reach for the card with the two numbers. “Shigaraki Tomura” She told him handing him the card. Shouto took it and stared at it quietly.

Dinner was… quiet. The fight still fresh made it eternal and once they finished their soba, all three sibblings were happy to leave the table. Shouto went to his room and Natsuo to the other bedroom while Fuyumi cleaned. A couple of minutes later, Natsuo came out with his bags packed.

“Natsuo, it’s late. You shouldn’t go out at this hour.” Fuyumi told him, already expecting this reaction to their argument.

“Don’t worry, I’m careful” He told her. ‘Unlike you’

“Nee-san,” In that moment, Shouto came out of his room with his laptop. “Is this the guy from today?” Turning the device so the screen faced her, Fuyumi saw it had a Youtube Channel filled with video games with Shigaraki’s face on the bottom corner.

“Yeah thats him” The three surrounded the computer and Shouto pressed on one of the videos.

“Hello and welcome back to this hell-hole We are playing Kindergarden this day. The game that recreates childhood perfectly; with cheating whores, bullys with daddy issues and getting shot on the head. Today, I’m gonna try to kill everyone of my classmates. Let’s start the blood bath…”

“Okay, so he is real.” Natsuo paused the video, “That doesn’t mean he knows Touya”

Fuyumi went back to his channel and looking at his bio, she noticed a name. Opening another tab and logging into her Instagram, she searched for @.Dabi.Inferno.. The user had his page full of different body parts covered in beautiful and complicated drawings and designs. And for the profile picture there was a photograph of a man in front of a shop with a blue neon sign that read ‘Inferno’

That man was Touya. Just like it looked in the picture Shigaraki showed Fuyumi. Black hair, tattoos, piercings, blue eyes like dad. The only difference was that here he was using different clothes and he was smirking.

They stayed in silence for a while. Just, taking everything in. Their feelings a mess. One hopeful that their family would be complete again, the other in denial to not get hurt again and the last excited that he could meet the mistery that was Touya.

“When do I call him?”

———————————————————————————————————–

Getting out of the bus, Shigaraki started his walk back home. Even if he should, he wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings. He didn’t need to, having lived in this side of town for most of his life. But he should. He wasn’t lying when he told the Todoroki girl about Dabi’s “company”.

Yeah, they changed. Him, Dabi and the rest. But the last time somebody tried to rob them was yesterday. Emphasis on the try, since Dabi found him and then proceeded to beat the crap out of the guy. And then Spinner and Twice joined.

It’s not like he lied to the girl. He just… left out the details.

It wasn’t their fault that life decided to screw them in the most royal and epic way. Besides, they all turned their life around. Magne and Toga run that hair salon, Spinner and Mustard were helping Stain with his gun-range and shop, Kurogiri was able to keep the bar and even give Compress and Twice a job. Even Hawks, that joined later and then couldn’t leave, had his own gig.

Yeah, they were…. broken. But if you left out all their trauma and violent coping mechanism, they were pretty normal. Were they?

Without realising it, Tomura got to their little base. The apartment building, the Detnerat clothing store, Inferno’s tattoo parlour, Killer Queen salon, Stainhaul gun range and shop and Black Mist bar, all connected by a parking lot where Giran practically worked. To an outsider it wouldn't seem so bad. Just a couple of people trying to get by.

They weren’t that bad.

He spent so much time trying to do this nice thing for Dabi that it was starting to mess with him if he didn’t realise he already got home. The last thing he needed was for Dabi to find out. That would…complicate things.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t have reached’

Did he go against Dabi’s back searching for his family who he keep tabs on but never really approached? Maybe. But he had to repay him somehow. He was the last one out of his repaying-and-thanking-for-staying-by-my-side list.

Magne was given a new set of make up. Toga and Mustard received a High school degree. Kurogiri was called ‘dad’ (he had never seen the guy so happy, so it was worth it, even if he smiled and hugged him like a fool for weeks). Spinner was given a new game console. He spent an entire day with Twice doing whatever the guy wanted. He watched Compress’ magic show. And he even admitted to Stain that he found his logic and anarchy ideals intriging.

But Dabi’s had to be special. He knew he had to do something extraordinary for him. He couldn’t just give him something. Not after everything that happened and everything he did for him.

So if Dabi wanted to be a coward and not take a shot with his family that (judging by the reaction he got) wanted him in his life, then fine. He would take the shot for him. He would take the blame for whatever happened. Dabi deserved it.

Not that he would tell him that. Ever.

He went to the back of the shop and climbed up the fire escape to enter his place. The shop was closed and he was too spent to open it and lock it again. Hearing movement in the kitchen, he went there and found the reason for his exhaustion cooking.

“What are we having?” He asked him as he sat in the dinning table.

“Cold Soba” Dabi responded and turned to look at him. “Where’d you go today?”

“Out. I needed to clear my head” Tomura lied.

“Are you okay?” Dabi asked as he came closer and held his neck to check on it.

“Yeah. It wasn’t that bad” He told him, leaning into his touch.

They had a nice and calm dinner in the couch, watching an old anime. Once everything was put away and clean they return to the couch to keep watching. With his head in Dabi’s shoulder and Dabi’s hand around him, Tomura noticed a foul yet familiar smell and started sniffing the other guy clothes. Sighting, he moved out of the embrace and covered himself with a blanket.

“Go take a shower, you reak of smoke” He told him.

Dabi huffed and paused the show. “You aren’t watching it without me” He told him as he stood up and started taking off his clothes in his way to the bathroom.

Tomura took out his phone and checked his channel. His new video was up and his cult was already commenting on it. He refused to say he had fans, so he had a cult. A cult of 5K people that loved his ‘chaotic energy’. But cult either way.

His phone rang with an unknown number.

“What do you want?”

“Hi… It’s me, Todoroki Fuyumi… We would like to meet up with Touya. When is he free?”

“I…We are going to an American Grill next Saturday. You can meet us there.”

“Yes. Of course. Thank you. Thank you so much for this. Could you text us the address and time?”

“Sure. See ya soon”

‘Holy Crap, she actually called’ Tomura thought as he heard the bathroom door open and saw Dabi come out. While only wearing a towel, Dabi laid down next to Tomura again. ‘God, I hope this turns out alright’

[grimelords]

I’ve finished my September playlist, only almost a month later. It’s got everything, The Weeknd, desert psychedelica from Niger, and Australian yodelling from 1941. What more could you want!

listen here

and if you’re interested, sign up for my tinyletter to get these playlists delivered to your inbox here

XO / The Host / Initiation - The Weeknd: First of all Trilogy is a masterpiece. The Weeknd is a legend forever for this alone. Back when he was an anonymous character and before he tried to pivot to being a proper pop star and started beliving his own bullshit. This trio of songs for me is one of the highlights of the whole thing because this is where things really take a turn and it serves as a nice flipside to earlier songs like Glass Table Girls (even quoting some of the lyrics from it in a very cool reprise). Where most of the songs from House Of Balloons are about his own descent into this hedonistic life, by the time you get to Echoes Of Silence he lives there comfortably, and he's turned from cool,  dark and tormented to coldly evil and calculating. He's the master of the dark palace and he's drawing this woman in. The chorus of XO is straight up cult language 'all we ever do is love, open up your mind you can find the love'. She's broke and addicted trying to escape her life and he offers her this community. Which is where Initation comes in and things get really dark. This song feels like the real truth of those stories you hear of Drake flying instagram models around and it's a masterpiece of the dark underside of the drugs money and models bragging you're used to.

Sociopath (feat. Kash Doll) - Pusha T: Get a load of this new Pusha song where he's got Rodney Dangerfield ghostwriting for him. I got a bitch that'll master your card.. my wife ova hea!! Also the funny gritted teeth way he says it cracks me up. He also says boop bop be boop bop. There's so many good moments in this very silly song from a man that is normally terrifyingly serious.

Ice Cream - Muscles: I suddenly remembered this song the other day and I'm so glad I did. A good example of how you can get so much feeling out of music that has no relation at all to the lyrics. In the right mood this song makes me so emotional and I can't even pin down why. The way he sings 'ice cream is going to save the day' somehow just makes the urban alienation of the verse even more pointed. It's such a silly little dance song and that's what's so strong about it. It's dancing at night and unsuccessfully trying to forget what happened today.

Running - Gil Scott Heron & Jamie xx: It’s extremely strange that this remix album ever happened, thinking back on it. Stranger still that a Gil Scott Heron song got remixed by Jamie xx and then remixed again by 40 and turned into a Drake song in I’ll Take Care Of U and all three versions rock. Anyway, this song and this whole album remain fantastic - it still sounds futuristic in a way where nobody else really followed Jamie’s sound, everything else went a different direction so this an In Colour feel more and more unique to me as time goes on.

Boyfriend (Repeat) - Confidence Man: I’m in love with this album. It’s the closest I’ve found so far to the level of absolute fun in dance music since Duck Sauce’s album. I love the the attitude of her lyrics, which carries through the whole album. I love when her Australian accent peeks out for a second on a few words. I love his rebuttals that almost but not quite put it over the edge into a comedy song. I love the big fading out leadup to the drop near the end where a huge throat singing drone just swallows the whole song for a second.

Ever Again (Soulwax Remix) - Robyn: Extremely hot remix alert!! Thankyou to Zan Rowe's Monthly Mixtape playlist for putting my onto this.Sometimes all you need is one ferociously hot bassline to make a life complete.

$50 Million - !!!: !!!’s new album has one of the best covers I’ve seen recently, I advise you to check it out. It’s interesting to be so far into your career (this is their 8th album since 2001) and still be writing songs about selling out, a concept which has largely disappeared from music discourse since musicians started making no money post napster. I vaguely remember the turning point being when Kimya Dawson, after blowing up via the Juno soundtrack, turned down a coke ad for a ludicrous amount and the blogosphere at the time turned on her and said she should have taken the money because she was living in a van at the time. Nobody gives a fuck about selling out anymore because bands make more from tshirts than streams so you’ve got to act like a brand just to make a living. Anyway I’ve gotten off track. This song rocks, especially for the breakdown near the end.

Tipped Hat - The Paper Scissors: A song I haven’t heard in over ten years that suddenly popped into my head the other day. I love the way this guy’s voice sounds, just completely committing to sounding like a hand puppet. I’ve been playing bass a lot more recently and so have developed the worst man habit of becoming more sensitive to and pointing out extremely hot basslines to people, so I’d be derelict in my duty to not share this one.

Heimsdalgate Like A Promethian Curse - of Montreal: I love this song about literally pleading with your brain to come good. Here’s a good quote about this album “I went through this chemical depression, and that's when I was writing a lot of the songs for Hissing Fauna. They're all songs about that experience. And I was experiencing it in the moment that I was writing the songs, and sort of asking myself: What the hell is going on? Why are you all of a sudden totally paranoid and plagued by these anxieties? And why is everything so distorted and confusing and fucked up? My lifestyle hadn't changed that much. And then I realized, well, there's something going on inside of me that I don't have control over, and then you realize how vulnerable you are to these things, these elements that you can't understand, or unless you go on medication and get it under control. It's like you're being betrayed by your body.” Something I really admire about this album is that the lyrics reflect black metal levels of mental anguish, he was absolutely going through it the worst anyone can go through it “I'd gotten to that point where nothing was working. I was borderline suicidal, and my relationship with my girlfriend had totally eroded and she'd gone back to Norway with our daughter and everything was totally fucked, and I was just like, What can I do? "The Past Is a Grotesque Animal" is about that.” But the music is one hundred percent committedly twee and I really admire the effect that that split mood gives. “The lyrics tell the story of what was really going on and the music sort of represents this other emotion that I wish existed. The music was really happy because I wanted to make something that would lift my spirits.”

Jesus Rabbit - Guerilla Toss: I love the wobbly weird bass sound in this weirdo UFO cult song. I love the bleepy bloop melody that runs through it and I love how fundamentally unstable the whole song sounds, like it’s made out of paperclips and foil and papier mache.

Suburbia - Press Club: I can’t believe I didn’t know about Press Club for so long. I only found out about them this performance https://youtu.be/bCmtc-T5Unk which I’m shocked to learn has less than 5k views considering it’s one of the very best TV performances I’ve ever seen.

Come For Me - Sunflower Bean: I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this song before and I’m probably going to say the exact same thing but who cares! This song fuckin rocks. I love how assured it is, like “if you’re gonna fuck me then stop fucking around and fuck me already.” It also feels so musically similar to I Can Hardly Make You Mine by Cults to me, which is a great excuse for me to listen to that song every single time I listen to this song.

Thousands - Club Night: This Club Night album is really really good. It's like a really nice middleground between midwest emo and Cymbals Eat Guitars. The way this song blows up halfway through with 'what if we want it!!' is so good. This whole band feels like they're from 2009 but in a good way, the tail end of indie and twee with these prog or postrock structures where the songs just go and go, and you can just get completely lost in it.

Cemetary - Brutus: The first thing you've got to know about Brutus is the drummer is also the singer. Normally who plays what is not really important but in this case I think it's very important because it makes the drums a lead instrument more than they normally would be. When she's not singing my focus is still on the drums because they're linked and I absolutely love it. This song is great and every song I've heard of theirs is just as good, I love Brutus and they're one of the best new bands I've found recently. Someone in the youtube comments said 'there's something really special about hearing a song for the first time and just knowing you're going to listen to it hundreds of times in your life.'

Enter By The Narrow Gates / Spirit Narrative - Circle Takes The Square: I think that I think of Circle Takes The Square as a household name just because they have such an outsized importance in my own life when they're definitely not at all. They're legendary for making The screamo (good kind) album in As The Roots Undo and then taking 8 years to make a followup, which is this album Decompositions, but I don't really know if they're well known outside of like, people who have opinions about what were the hottest music blogspots in 2010. I chose both of these because you can't really have one without the other, the whole album basically runs as one long piece of music and so this just kind of jarringly ends at the end of Spirit Narrative, sorry about that please listen to the entire album. Because of the status As The Roots Undo enjoys I feel like this album was kind of ignored, or overshadowed by the reputation it was trying to live up to, almost exactly like The Avalanches with Since I Left You and Wildflower, when just like Wildflower it's a more expansive, developed take on the original sound that trades some of the rawness for a more polished and considered approach and comes out arguably better than the orginal. I feel like I have so much to say about this album but I don't really know where to begin, just listen to it.

Vitrification Of Blood (Pt. 1) - Blood Incantation: I am by no means a metal scholar, but I know that when the word 'blood' is in both the song title AND the band name that means it's good metal. I love this song, and this whole album is great. It's very 'classic' death metal but there's touches (beyond the extreme length) of psychedelica as well that puts it on another level you can just get lost in. The way the guitar goes to space at 3:40, and again properly into orbit at 6:50 is just magical. The more I listen to this band the more I understand those guys who only listen to metal, there's a whole ecosystem in here and it's really got everything you need.

Out Of Line - Gesaffelstein: This whole song is basically intended as an intro for Pursuit on the album but it’s so powerful just on its own. I love imbuing weirdo lyrics like ‘a bitter sunken love in a bleach blonde submarine’ with such ominous power through the commanding delivery. I love the way the big grunting vocals on the offbeat build to sound like a summoning ritual. I love making a big processed bell the centrepiece of your extremely evil sounding song. It’s sort of a shame that Gessaffelstein has never really gone back to the vision of his first album and has spent his time since diluting it down for guest production on Weeknd songs and the like because it feels like there’s still so much more to get out of this sound. That he hasn’t gone back and dug deeper makes Aleph stand out more and more as a singular masterpiece as time goes on.  

Kamane Tarhanin - Mdou Moctar: Turning to Mdou Moctar after the new Tinariwen album kind of disappointed me, with all it’s big name guests nothing really hit me. I love this song though and I think a big part of it is the sort of loping, 6/4 rhythm that combined with the drone gives it this feeling of endlessly tumbling over itself in place, especially as the guitar heats up.

Achabiba - Fatou Seidi Ghali: I know very little about Fatou Seidi Ghali except that I saw she was supporting Sarah Louise at a show. From some googling it turns out that she’s the leader of a Nigerois band called Les Filles de Illeghadad who you can probably look forward to seeing on next month’s playlist. I also learned that the demonym for someone from Niger is Nigerien or to minimise confusion with Nigeria, Nigerois (said in a french way). They play a sort of desert psych in the realm of Mdou Mocter or Tinariwen, but this song (also the only solo song she has on spotify) shows her acoustic side. I love the swirling melody over the drone as the hand percussion keeps it in place and I love the very delicate vocals, but a probably unintentional thing I love a lot about this recording is the unmistakable iphone locking sound near the very start that instantly removes so much of the mystic exoticism that these sorts of artists are often written about with and places it firmly in the same sprawling modern world we all live in.

Floating Rhododendron - Sarah Louise: I love Sarah Louise. She’s a phenomenal guitarist and has such a big love for traditional folk music with her side project House And Land, but unlike everyone else in the genre is also very interested in pushing guitar forward to new and strange places. Her latest album was super experimental layered electric guitars and voice that still managed to maintain the deep connection to nature that runs through all her work. I would also highly recommend following her on instagram because her passion runs over. She’s regularly just out in the woods somewhere explaining how wonderful a particular mushroom is.  This song one of the first ones I ever heard from her, and it’s back when she was just doing very beautiful 12 string acoustic work, but she recently added it to spotify and it’s a very nice reminder of where she came from and how far she’s gone in such a short time.

Lark - Angel Olsen: The new Angel Olsen is absolutely great. I love how much she is just completely going for it on this album, absolutely unleashing. Taken against earlier songs of hers I’ve loved like White Fire, where the majesty was in her quiet power and the ability to absolutely command silence with a whisper quiet song, this song feels like the direct inverse, an about-turn into all the gigantic majesty of swirling strings and top of your lungs vocals - going all out and leaving nothing on the table. The way this song blows up about three different times until by the end you’re caught in this gigantic swirling maelstrom of screaming sound is just out of this world.

Door - Caroline Polachek: Caroline Polachek’s brain is huge. When I first heard the chorus of this song I couldn't believe it. Are you allowed to have a chant that runs in a spiral like this be the chorus of your pop song? Is that allowed?

North, South, East And West - The Church: The Church feel like they don't get enough respect. They don't seem to be in the same league as Cold Chisel and The Angels and all the other dad rock Australian bands from that era for some reason. They're very good though and I've been really getting into this whole album and this song specifically lately. Maybe what's working against them is just how much his voice sounds like Bono's in this song but surely that was a boon at the time!

Western Questions - Timber Timbre: This has become one of my new favourite songs to sing. The way the words fit together is my favourite kind of poetics where they just sound incredible, phonetically, and can mean anything you like for large chunks. Like “the gelatinous walls of the seeds that seldom remain / while the bulls are  browsing needles through computer casinos / honour the name”. Especially “bulls are browsing needles through computer casinos” is just extremely nice to say. I love the character of this song and am yet to completely understand what it’s saying other than personifying some worldwide blackpilled spirit of nihilist evil. What I love is the experience of all encompassing evil in this song, like a worldwide conspiracy connecting everything together that makes it all make sense. It doesn’t make you happier but it makes it make sense. I also love the finality of the big fill near the end that ushers in the outro riff that ties everything up.

Cold Cold World - Blaze Foley: I got heavily into a country music thing this month and spent a bit of time trying to find ‘real’ country, which of course turns out not to exist at all. The entirety of country music is built on a false nostalgia for an imagined time long past when things were real, some unspecified time in the collective consciousness between cowboy times and coal mine times. I don’t say this to say ‘country music is a fraud’ but that it’s built on a foundation of myth and that’s what’s so good about it. It’s constantly reframing the past as it relates to the present and is energised by the friction between them. Blaze Foley is a good example of this in the modern era because he seems to exist more as a myth than a man. He had three studio albums, the master tapes of which all disappeared through various means (lost, stolen, seized by the DEA) and so the majority of his surviving material is live recordings or long-lost studio recordings that resurfaced decades after his death when his fame and mythology already preceded him. He also thankfully lives up to the myth, he was truly a great artist and it’s a shame more of him hasn’t survived.

Where The Golden Wattle Blooms / Why Did The Blue Skies Turn Grey  - Shirley Thoms: Further to what I was saying about country music before, Australian country is a whole other thing. Transferring the myth and the mythmaking to a new location adds another layer of abstraction. Shirley Thoms was the first female solo act to record country music in Australia in 1941 and was most notable for her yodelling of which she is damn fine. This is a great song and a good a starting point as any in trying to trace the origin of country music in Australia. That it's so english in its identity, so evidently imitating an american style (which is in turn imitating a german yodel) is just more good evidence that nothing is 'real' and traditions of the past and future are malleable at all times.

Talkin’ Karate Blues - Townes Van Zandt: Townes Van Zandt is widely regarded as a songwriter’s songwriter and one of the best country songwriters to ever live, but like a lot of great country songwriters also has one or two songs like this - strange comedy songs about learning karate and getting your arm ripped off.

Strange Tourist - Gareth Liddiard: This album is a masterpiece on the level of Ys and it feels criminally underlistened in my opinion. Luckily in the last week or so some renegade has done up the wiki article on it to a couple of thousand words so that's a start. Because this is a song I've listened to one million times and love a lot, it's hard for me to write about it in a general way so instead I'm going to talk about something very specific and new that I've only begun to appreciate recently. The way he uses the vowels of the japanese words to create these assonant runs in lines like "Koda Kumi sang a coda pink as sarin gas / I took a trip to Nagasaki in a rented Mitsubishi / Then went camping in the Jukai under Mount Fuji" and "They found him frozen in a hollow in Aokigahara forest where them harakiri weirdos go" is really something, and a nice illustration of the two sides of Liddiard's songwriting: densely technical poetics in a song about living with a housemate who was a real freak.

I Dream A Highway - GIllian Welch: I’m not even going to go into the lyrics of this because it’s such an out of this world perfect song but I’m going to say this: it’s really something that this song goes for nearly 15 minutes, sits on the same three chords the whole time and never ever feels long. This song is longer than Emily by Joanna Newsom but doesn’t feel like an epic of the same scale at all. It’s just a mournful slow ode to change and decay that goes on forever and could keeping going on for twice as long if it wanted to.

Deep Water - The Middle East: The way the vocals in the verses are delivered, trailing off and mumbling bits and pieces is somehow magical, like it’s more interested in communicating the gist and the feeling than the actual words. You can just pick whatever part of it you like. Petrol stations and a copper mine, the kind of place I think I could die. This song also has two minutes of silence at the end for album reasons so enjoy that.

listen here

[longsleevs]

Movie Nigth

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warning: language i guess, cute af maybe way to cheese in some parts :)

A/N: This idea came to my mind like 2 weeks ago, like at 3 am when i couldn't sleep. I hope you guys like it! Xx

Summary: Movie night with the Holland's every Friday, a tradition for the last 5 years, since today something more was added to the tradition and to your life

I just arrived to the Holland's house, my second home...

I got out of the uber and i saw Harry sitting outside, on the stairs "Hello, Harold" i said while i walked closer to him "Hi Y/N" he said as he standed up "I though that you couldn't come" he said as we walked inside the house "But you waited for me at the stairs like always" i said when i felt a cute little redhead hug me "Y/N!" He said with a huge smile "I missed you Pad" i said while hugging him back "i saw you last week dump ass" i just laughed and smiled "but i didn't saw you all the times that i came over this week!"

Trying to know if Tom was back

Suddenly i heard a noise coming out of the kitchen, then i saw that body, i just runned towards him "Tom!" I said as I runned to his arms "I though that you would be back next week!" He looked at me and said "Surpriseeee!!" I hugged him tighter and he gave me a soft kiss "we are here!" Paddy shouted, and we broke the kiss and laughed

Some day he will stop doing that

"I missed you, love. More than anything and anyone" i looked up at him, and laughed "Yeah, and i will belive that you missed me more than your princess Tessa" i said when suddenly Tessa came out of the kitchen "Ohhhh! I did not saw that coming" me neither kid Harry said and i laughed "If you don't want to belive me..." Tom said as he went next to Tessa "Whatever you say Thomas! Were are your parents and Sam??" I asked, looking at the guys in front of me "Mom and Dad went for the food, Sam went to pick up his gf" Paddy said exited

I know that this kid is exited about the food, but i don't care

I looked at him and laughed "Ohh! I see! Now you like her more than me!? Okay Patrick... now you can go to hell and your birthday gift too!" i said as i turned and hugged Tom, acting like if i was crying it looked so fake but anyway "1. You will always be my favorite, just don't tell Sam that 2. Patrick!? I told you that i am Paddy! 3. A gift? Can i get it!? and 4. I know that you aren't crying" he said, and we all laughed "Yep, but i didn't bought it, sorry :(" i said and he looked mad at me "You liar!" He said when he realised that there was no gift and started running me around the house

I love this kidd, can my kids be like him??

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We just watched the first movie, it was 'Me before you' in case you want to know today the girls choose the movie, and right now we are looking for the second one "This one" Elysia said *elysia is sam"s gf irl* Nikky looked at me saying like hate that movie and i said "Nop, other one" Nikky smiled at me thanks

I could hear Tom and Dom laughing in the back and Sam saying "Can they stop bullying her"

You know that we love her kidd!

I wanted to laugh so baldy of what was happening behind us but they couldn't realise that i hearing "This one!" Nikky said, i laughed and said "Really!? Again!?" I saw the way that Elysia looked at me, like saying don't reply to her like that or you will be in trouble "C'mon Y/N! Your bf is in the movie, correction both of your boyfriends are in the movie and Harry" i turned to the guys as said "The impossible for the million time guys??" They all laughed at looked at Nikky "Mom, we always see the same movie... can we wach other thing please??" Harry said as Paddy jumped and said "And i don't like the fact thay I'm not in the movie, and my brothers are! I'm actually tired of seeing their faces!" Nikky opened his eyes, really big "Patrick Holland! Don't talk like that!"

We know that he is joking

"And ok guys... other movie will be" everybody was happy and Nikki just rolled her eyes "Thank you so much, i love you, i was already done with that movie, and don't forget that I'm in it! I own you one, no! We all own you one! You the best!" Tom said as he jumped out of the sofa, came closer to me and pick me up un his arms, like in the just married way, and gave a really cute and soft kiss "Stop!!" Paddy said

See! He always does that!

We laughed at the youngest person in the room "Let them Paddy, they are so cutee!" Nikki said and Tom put me down on the floor and said "Mother!" I laughed "Then stop being cute, if you don't want me to talk like that"

I stand, and love the best mother ever

Tom sat next to me on the floor, with his head on my shoulder, playing with my hair, while we were trying to chosse the next movie

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The second movie ended, we decided to watch 'Sixteen Candles', a classic, Paddy's reaction on some part were just so damm hilarious

For nigth we usually see 2 movies, then all the guys go back to their rooms, i go with Tom, and later i go back home, while the guys have a sleepover in the living room.

Rigth now it's 11 pm.

Tom and i were cleaning the living, Paddy was changing into his pijamas, Harry washing the dishes, and Sam saying goodbye to Elysia "Do you have something to do tomorrow early??" Tom asked knowing my answer "Weekend are to sleep and eat Thomas" he laughed and just nodded.

And that's what i do on my weekends basically

Once all the guys were downstairs Sam said "Did you ask her" Tom looked up and said "Yep, she's completely free" Paddy smiled and Harry said "Who aks her??" Paddy jumped and said "Me!! Pleseee!!" I looked at all of them confused, they just nodded "Ok, Y/N... We have known you since always, at least me, for how long guys?" Paddy asked his older brothers

15 years of friendship, 10 of being like my second family, 5 of being family aka me dating Thomas

"15 years" Harry said "they have known you for 15 years, me for 14 because of obvious reasons. You had being coming to this house almost every Friday for the last 5 years, and we all were talking, and we thought that now that you are more family than before, because you are dating Tom, is the rigth moment to ask you to stay over every Friday, be part of our sleepover" Paddy said, while all the Holland guys looked at me waiting for my answer

Wait, what!?

"You guys are offering me to stay, a Friday!? Friday sleepovers are a guys thing that you have always done!" Tom hold my hand and said "Yes, love. We are telling you that you can stay, i mean you are family. And Friday sleepovers aren't a guys thing, is a family thing, we don't even know why we didn't asked you before, so here we are... Will you stay??" He asked at me while looking at my eyes

Don't to that Holland

"First i wanna know something" they looked confused at each other "What??" Sam said "It's this because Harrison isn't here??" They all looked shook "Tbh we didn't even though that, but no, because this is for now untill the day we die, with or without Harrison" Sam said, i looked to all the guys "Ofc guys! I will stay"

This sounds like such a big deal, and it is, it isn't something stupid. This isn't the fist time that i sleepover in this house, but on Friday, Never! How many time i wanted to have a date with Tom, or celebrate an anniversary, and we couldn't because it was FRIDAY. This is like the moment when they are all together, something that almost never happenes lately, that's why this is so important, and why i was so shocked

I went upstairs with Tom, to his room, once i was i laid on his bed next to him "Can you give some clothes, Tommy??" He came closer and kissed me, for the first time in the day it wasn't a soft kiss, i was a really passionate kiss, suddenly he broke it "What the hell?" I said confused "I have to give you some clothes, and that's hard" i was confused "why?? You can give that hoodie and i would be happy with that" he looked at me with a cute smile and said "I know that, love. But rn it isn't just us, there will be my siblings" he said with a smile and turned back to his closet

You little trash, i love you

He gave me hoodie and some sweet pants, i changed, waited for him to change and them we went downstairs, finding what i always see, the living with mattresses waiting for people to sleep there, jumped in on the mattress, scaring Paddy "Can you please never do that AGAIN!?" He said turning all red, so cuteeee "Okay padster, but just bc I'm your fav" i said and Tom in the back laughed

I love this family sow much

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"I wanna know something, something that I've always wanted to know" Paddy said while eating his ice cream "Ask" Sam said whit his mouth full of ice cream "How dis you guys meet??" I reased my eyebrow "Well I meet Sam on mom's belly, and Tom once we came out of your mother belly" Harry said with a proud smile, idiot, "Mmm you know what i mean!" Paddy yelled "Well, we meet Y/N thanks to 4 year old Harry, the idiot broke her candy, and 6 year old Y/N got kinda mad" Tom said and i laughed remembering the day "Yep, i got so mad with Harry that went close to Nikki and to tell her that i needed a new candy or something like that" all of us were laughing remembering that "After that, whenever we when to that park, we found her, later we realised that Tom and her went to the same school and that's how the friendship started" Sam ended the story

Yep, i hated this kids since 2003 :)

"And that's the story of how i stated hating Harry!" I said whith a smile "And that's the moment when i felt for her" Tom said holding my hand and rubbing it "Liar! You always say that was when mom passed away, and until my grandma was back i lived here for like 3 moths. And thay was 10 years ago no 15!" I said acting like offended.

I really don't care about my mom, i mean, i miss her, she was my mom, but she was a bich so...

"Ohh! Yeah! Confused dates!" We said while playing with Tessa "Idiot" Harry said "Talks" Tom said, Paddy, Sam and I were waiting for the 'fight' "Shut up, and thank me!" Tom opened his eyes big "Why should i thank you??" Harry laughed "because without me, there would have never existed a you and Y/N" Harry said. Good point Harold. "Yeah... you are rigth" Tom said

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"What time is it?" Sam asked "4:50" Tom replied "Let's go then!" Paddy said, as he jumped out and went to the backyard. I looked at the guys confused "Wanna watch the sunrise, love?" Tom said giving me a hand to stand up.

We were outside, Harry took his camera and started tooking photos, telling Sam and Paddy what to do, while i was stand behind them, holding hands with sponge bob aka Tom

This is so beautiful

"You are prettier" I looked confused at Tom "i didn't said anything" he smiled "but your face talks by itself" he said while putting his arms around me "Harry! Took some picture of us!" He said while holding my hand and running.

I love you

He stared running around the garden, idk how or when he made a move and pull me into his arms, like the just married pose, just like he did it the kitchen "I want you to be mine forever" he whispered on my ear.

Me too...

He put me back in the ground, and gave a kiss on my forehead, i turned and saw Sam, Paddy next to each other, looking at us exited, Harry was whith his camera, looking at us. I tuned back to Tom and saw him sat in one leg, with a little box in his had, tears started falling, happy tears ofc "Hi" he said with cute smile "I know that you are only 21 and I'm just 22, that we are really young for this, but i don't care, i don't care anymore... Y/N i have known your for 15 years, i have loved you for 10 years and we have being officially dating for 5 years, i guess that the 5 is our lucky number" i just laughed at him "Y/N, you are the most amazing person in this world, and i love you more than anything and anyone, i can't belive that I'm doing this... Y/N Y/LN would you make me the happiest man on earth with just a simple word"

Yes

"Would you marry me??" He said and all i did was fell on the floor and nod, i looked up at him and he was crying to "Hell yes!! Tom!!" I said and we just hugged "I love you idiot" i said and a little laugh came out of his mouth

Yes, Tom. Yes, no matter what

"I'm officially the happiest man alive" he said with his arms around me, looking at thd guys "Congrats" the 3 guys while running and we all hugged "I'm so proud of my big baby!" I hars Nikki said, Tom pointed to the house, Nikki and Dom where looking at us trough the window "Now you will be mine forever" he said and gave me kiss

I love this man so damm much

Materlist

A/N: Hi sunflowers!🌻 Hope you guys like this one! OMG! You are getting married with Tom! I wish... btw 'that damm smile' won't be updated today! Xx

Part 2 my darling??

[candivits]

all even numbers!

2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet?

answered

4.) have you ever tried drugs?

noooo i have never done it

6.) have you ever made someone cry?

yeah ofc, once i made our kindergarten teacher cry because i,along with a friend of mine, screwed up a matinee; also mom and probably other people i dont know lol

8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it.

in love….you see, the thing is, when i was younger i used to have CRUSHES on people, and back then, i thought i was in love. but when i grew older i came to realization that i was only attached(??i dont know if this is the right word) to their looks lol. i, in fact, never knew a thing about those people. and if im to fall in love, i need to know what kind of person they are, what they stand for and so on & so forth cuz its very important to me

10.) are you part of the lgbtq+ community? do you support them?

i am not but i do support them

12.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love?

no, thankfully

14.) what is your favorite tv show?

ohhhh i cant say there’s just ONE favorite show tho….im a sucker for period drama shows tho! there are so many of them to watch but not enough time :( anyways i love reign (💔 ), brooklyn nine-nine (its funny af), yesterday i started watching still star-crossed and let me tell you - its everything i needed hehe; how i met your mother (still mad at how they ended the show,i mean,why would you break hearts like this :’( ); shadowhunters, the musketeers, imposters, snatch, teen wolf

16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any)

barbarossa - stones. because they played it when barney wanted to confess his feelings to nora in how i met your mother (but he didnt -___-)

18.) have you been out of your country?

yeah, sure; i go to dagestan every year in the summer (spending the whole year in this city would make me go crazyy)

20.) how many people have you kissed?

like, in the cheek? so many. but no one on the lips lol

22.) what is your dream car?

dont know yet, so many options lmaooo xx

24.) what is your favorite flower?

rose and lilac!

26.) have you ever been on a blind date?

noooo but the idea seems amusing tho LOL (but i dont intend on going on one)

28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends?

i cant recall…i might have? in the past..and forgiving myself for that was a long process

30.) do you have neat handwriting?

answered

32.) do you want a friend with benefits?

naaahhh

34.) have you ever been blackout drunk?

no, never ever

36.) how many concerts have you been to?

lmao i just remembered that i responded to a similar question and said i went to ABBA concert lol i was wrong, it was Boney-M one lmaooo sorry xx

38.) do you have a hidden talent?

i wish :( but i dont

40.) do you think money can buy love?

lmao its complicated…but if we’re talking about the true, unconditional love here..then no

42.) have you ever done something illegal?

does crossing the street at the red light count?

44.) what is an unusual fear you have?

sometimes i fear that when im at my grandma’s house, SHAYTAN WILL POP UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND POSSESS ME

46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures?

….yeah….

48.) what is one quality you need in your partner?

just ONE? lmao well let it be loyalty

50.) does size matter?

size of what? his penis? then yeah ofc lmao 

52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor?

chooocolate

54.) ever been on a plane?

yes yes i have, several times

56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t?

yeah, a girl from my school; we promised each other to keep in touch but she had been airing me after our ways parted which made me feel furious so i removed her from the friends list on a social media

58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make?

sureee

60.) have you ever walked outside after 12 am?

i have; but it usually happens when im in dagestan hehe

62.) are you scared of rollercoasters?

no!!! i always wished to ride one

64.) do you have any plans this weekend?

i’ll celebrate Eeeiiiddd on sunday in sha Allah! 🎊 🎉

66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now?

no one :-)

68.) who is your favorite superhero?

batman!

70.) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at that 80’s?

brother louie by the modern talking!!! the good ol’ days LMAO then 

lambada by kaoma (my shit!); 

queen - show must go on

shakira - hips dont lie

72.) who is your biggest OTP?

jake and amy from brooklyn 99

74.) do you want to be married one day?

yeah, but i fear my significant other will turn out to be a disloyal bitch :(((

76.) do you drink enough water daily?

in ramadan - NO lol but usually i try to drink the needed amount tho

78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you?

heck yes! i mean, why not lol

80.) when was the last time you cried?

last week, on monday, i seem to recall

82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed?

i belive i have not…:(

84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself?

answered

86.) what is your favorite season and why?

answered

88.) do you know how to play any instruments?

now no, but i used to play piano when i was 5

90.) what are you allergic to?

DUMB PEOPLE’S BULLSHIT

92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be?

OHOHOHOHOOOO so many options im lost hehhee. let it be constance bonacieux so i’d be married to d'Artagnan and get to wear those fancy ass dresses hehehe

94.) are you outgoing?

yep! or…at least i try to be?

96.) are you a good flirt?

noo not at all lmaoo

100.) are you a good listener? 

i am!

102.) would you kiss any of your friends? 

on the cheek only heheh 

ask me stuff !!!🌞☁️🌈

[futurewriter2000]

War

A/N: Heyoo, I’m back with the imagine I had finished so long ago but totally forgot about. No jk, I finished it today but started it like few motnhs ago. The ending is a bit different but I really didn0t know how to finish i so sorry.

PAIRING: none but I put Fred Weasley x Potter!reader

Requested by anon:  please could you do a Harry Potter imagine where the reader is Harry’s sister and they end up having a fight at Grimauld place over her wanting to join in the war and either Sirius or Remus comforts her? (Of course Harry apologises at the end, he loves her too much to stay mad at her!)

TAGS: @shadyladyperfection, @nadinissavage, @geeksareunique, @huflerin

Part 2

Xx

War. Tearing everything apart since even before it starts. It happens every day. Between enemies, lovers, friends and family.

Its war. Nobody loves it.

This war was different though. Far different. It was a war revolving your younger brother, Harry James Potter.

On 31. October 1981 he was marked for his entire life, an infant only with you in the next room. Somehow he didn't know. Somehow you were missed by Lord Voldemort, it will always stay a mystery to you why your brother was chosen instead of you. Why didn't Voldemort come after you before Harry like he did with your parents.

You were unprotected, your father running downstairs to face The Dark Lord himself while your mother stayed in the nursery with Harry. Mystery. Such a dark mystery.

And now you were here. Starting your last year in Hogwarts, arguing with your little brother.

"I'm your older sister Harry!" your shout came from the locked room in Sirius' old bedroom.

They were far away, yet the arguing echoed through the whole house, to their curious ears. They didn't talk, only listened.

"Excatly, (y/n)! That's why I need you to be safe!" Harry shouted back.

"You will not boss me around Harry James Potter! I swore to protect you and I did nothing more than trying to keep you safe from all of the trouble!"

"Well, congratulations. You did an amazing job. " he spoke in sarcasm.

"I did not choose this life Harry! I did not get to have my own name like you did! Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived! Who was I !? Oh thats (y/n) Lily Potter, Harry's older sister."

"Then why are you complaining if I was just in your way!"

"Because I am your sister and you are the closest thing I have for a family!" you exploaded, your fingers cramping from all the anger and the clenching. " Mom and dad would never forgive me. So I'm joining this war. Whether you like it or not." you finally finished and stormed out of the room.

Harry was left alone. All alone, defeated.

It was his fight. His.

And you.

You were his older sister. The one who protected him from the Dursleys. The one who everybody loves. The smart, funny and the loving one. The one who read him bed times stories, argued with Petunia and Vernon until you were kicked out. You had good grades, an intership waiting at the Ministry after Hogwarts, a bright future ahead of you.

And your dreams. Damn your dreams. The ones who told about the cute apartment you would buy after Hogwarts. Staying with your best friend Oliver Wood and then with Harry moving in after his graduation. All three of you would have a dog or a cat. Mostly a dog because Oliver hated cats, saying they are little devils with furry faces and adorable round eyes.

He can't. He just can't. Not you.

He stormed out of the room, walking in the living room where everybody sat except for you and Remus.

"Where is she?" he asked impatiently, walking around with his eyes searching for you.

Sirius stood up from his chair and walked over to Harry. Touching him by the shoulders he gently pushed him down to sit. "Harry. Your sister. She's a stubborn young lady. She won't give up on this. She won't give up on you. "

"I don't want to lose her, Sirius." sighed Harry and looked down on the picture he always carries around. "You know she kind of reminds me of mum. She may not see it but I do." he simpered and brushed his thumb over the photo.

Sirius chuckled and looked down on the photo. "You know Lilly was also so stubborn. It was her way or no way at all. All innocent on the outside yet so fierce on the inside. "

Harry looked up at Sirius and smiled. "What else?"

"The first time your sister called me Padfoot, she actually said Patwoof. It was so adorable I screamed so high that the next day I lost my voice. And now, whenever she calls me Pads or Padfoot, I almost feel like your mother is with me. " he laughed and took the photo in his hands, Harry carefully watching as Sirius' eyes flickered of pain for a small second. "You know she wrote me every day. She believed I didn't do it. No matter what the paper said she belived me. She said a man like me would never betray a man like James." he smiled and gave photo back to Harry. "I didn't reply though. Not to a single letter. Yet she still sent me till the day I finally broke out. To be honest her letters seemed to make my days in Azkaban a lot more tolerable."

"She won't give up. Will she?" Harry suddenly spoke making Sirius chuckle and pat him on the back.

"My dear boy, she will kill you herself if you don't appologise."

And suddenly the door burst open and the whole pack of red heads came bursting in.

"You two are the absolute worse! Crookshanks is just a cat." spoke Hermoine with her ginger cat in her arms.

"If by cat you mean a ginger ball of fur from hell, than yes." said Ron and fistbumped George.

"Oi, Harry! Where's my beloved (y/n)? Did she miss me?" grinned Fred and sat behind the table.

"Still not giving up, eh Fred?" snickered George and wrapped his arm around his twin as he sat down.

"You never give up on love Georgie."

-----

You sat on the balcony. Your eyes set on the stunning blue moon and the night sky. You kept looking at the moon because somehow it calmed you down and some days, it was the only thing that seemed to make you feel better.

"Hey." said a soft and low voice from behind.

You turned your head over your shoulder to see who it was, only to set your eyes on the tall and handsome man.

"Remus." you simpered and turned your gaze back on the moon. "It's not full yet so you can relax." you added without taking your eyes off it.

He sat beside you, his eyes drifting to the moon but quickly turning away. "You know (y/n) he only wants to protect you."

"I'm the one who needs to protect him." you replied and hugged your knees as you felt a slight cold breeze brush your skin. "I won't change my mind."

"Oh, I know you won't." he chuckled and took off his coat only to wrap it around you.

"Thanks." you replied and grabbed the coat to wrap it a bit tighter.

"You know I once won an argument with you mother."

You shot your head after you heard this. "Really?"

"Yes. She was stubborn, just like you but she was also afraid back then. So I think that was also one of the reason why I won... That night, the October 31st, you weren't home with them. You were with me and Sirius." he sighed and looked at you from the corner of his eyes only to find you listening carefully. "I convinced her that it's safer for you to be somewhere else if The Dark Lord decided to attack." he paused for a moment. "It was Harry though, who I wanted to take first but she insisted on me taking you instead because it would be the only way she would know at least one of her babies were safe. After we found you a safe place we went back to get Harry but it was too late."

"Thats why." you suddenly realized. "That's why I couldn't believe Sirius did it. Because he was with me the whole time. He never left my side. He could have never gone to The Dark Lord and betray my parents. Because he was afraid to leave my side."

"Yeah. I wish I knew that sooner too. All I'm trying to say, (y/n), is that no matter if you join the war or not, it won't be pretty. Somebody will die and you will lose the people you love. But with Harry you have to be a little more understanding. He lost so much, he just can't afford to think he'll lose you too."

He was right. Of course he was right. He was Remus Lupin, he was always right. You glanced at his emerald green eyes and smiled. "So I guess, I need to talk to him...again."

He slightly nodded and got on his feet. "Come on. I'll come with you."

------

As soon as you got closer to the room you heard a loud chaos and laughs coming from it.

The Weasleys. They always seemed to be the loudest.

You walked in the room with Remus by your side and all eyes were on you, especially Fred's since he always fancied you.

"Missed me?" he winked at you and put another spoon of mashed potatos in his mouth.

Messing his hair, you leaned your elbows on his shoulders and whispered in his ear. " Still not giving up Weasley?"

"Never." he smiled and tilted his head backwards to meet your eyes.

You rolled your eyes and stood back up, just to see if you could find your brother. But he wasn't here, nor was Sirius.

"Where's Harry?" you asked and looked around the table.

"He went upstairs with Sirius." replied Ginny.

"Okay, thanks." you said and put your hand on Ginny's shoulder as you ran up the stairs.

-----

You were standing in front of Sirius' bedroom, door slightly open and his voice softly talking to your brother.

"When they brought her home, the whole gang waiting for her, I couldn't be happier. I mean she was just a bald potato back then but she was so beautiful and so small."

"Okay, I'm coming in." you said after hearing him say that, making both of them look to the doors.

Sirius' mouth curved into a smile and before you could say anything to Harry, he cut in first.

"Come here, dear. I was just talking to Harry about your childhood days."

"Yeah, I heard. I'm the bald potato." you sighed and plopped down next to Sirius.

"Figure of speech." he defended before placing his hands on both of yours and Harry's knees. "James and I were more than best friends. We were brothers and even though we pranked and we laughed, had loads of great time and unforgetable memories, we also fought."

"Please don't let this be a lecture." you groaned and leaned your head on Sirius' shoulder.

"Shh, dear child. I've been waiting for this moment for a long time." he shushed you and put his hand on your cheek. "So, as I was saying James and I used to fought. A lot. I was used to tidiness, living with my mother I had to live in tidiness, but James... he was such a mess. There were many days where we faught about the mess, the essays, projects we had together, girls, Remus.."

"Remus?" asked Harry.

"Yeah. He was the most responsible one so Remus was always the best for projects and plans." added Sirius before continuing with his lecture. "Look. You two are brother and sister. It's obvious you want to protect her and she wants to protect you. But the two of you need to stick together because that is the only way you will be able to protect eachother. Trust me. I would know."

After hearing what he said, both you and Harry wrapped your arms around Sirius and squeezed him in a tight hug.

"Thank you Patwoof." you added, making Sirius slightly chuckle.

"Patwoof." he repeated, holding back the tears as if it was the first time he ever heard it.