#she means it in a non gender specific way

[agnesandhilda]

one of these days I'm gonna completely lose it and write about how blue lock's shounen genre misogyny (which isn't to say that it gets a pass because the shounen genre is known for being misogynistic. blue lock is worse than average in this regard. blue lock's very premise is built on misogyny in a way I don't think has been analyzed enough even by people who are aware of the real-world women's football it totally disregards) and accompanying shounen genre-typical totalizing ideal of masculinity result in giving the different play positions the characters have notable gendered connotations, mostly by accident

[grison-in-space]

also I am grudgingly having to admit that it is at this point just fucking easier to use she and they interchangeably as far as pronouns go, based on the reactions I get when I don't bother to specify and then people flutter around and worry about it.

goddammit I'm going to have to actually interrogate my public identity label set. I hate that. hate having to figure out how to position myself formally in Discourse but I mean, if I'm gonna work in sex differences--currently a big part of my work--that kind of does need to be something I think about. augh.

[1010ninetynine]

honestly i don't agree with terf ideology but to call it colonialist is interesting imo.

it’s always so fucking funny to me when terfs are like “how can you say trans women and women are the same thing! being born as a man makes you different!” because like. yes. trans women and cis women are different. so are black women and white women. and straight women and queer woman. and women from different countries and different socioeconomic statuses. there’s diversity in the experience of womanhood? what a wild concept

[chocolatepot]

Hi! Can you elaborate on "Fuck GRRM's committment to 'historical realism' without knowing anything about medieval social history"? I would love to know about what GRRM gets wrong about medieval gender roles, specifically.

So Cersei learns at an early age that she has no agency, her only value is producing heirs and is barred from traditional routes of power so she has to use underhanded methods such as influencing men with sex or using underhanded magical means. I would love an explanation on why this doesn't reflect medieval queen consorts and noble women irl.

Sure! The basic summary is: GRRM "knows" the things that everyone "knows" about the middle ages, which are broad stereotypes often reflective of a) primary sources that deserve a critical reading rather than being taken at face value and b) the judgements of later periods making themselves look better at the medieval period's expense.

As Shiloh Carroll argues, building on the work of Helen Young, “readers are caught in a ‘feedback loop’ in which Martin’s work helps to create a neomedieval idea of the Middle Ages, which then becomes their idea of what the Middle Ages ‘really’ looked like, which is then used to defend Martin’s work as ‘realistic’ because it matches their idea of the real Middle Ages.”

Since you're mainly interested in Cersei here, I'd strongly recommend a book: Queenship and the Women of Westeros: Female Agency and Advice in Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire, edited by Zita Eva Rohr and Lisa Benz. It's an excellent read and speaks to exactly what you're asking about. The tone of the book is very positive and non-judgemental when it comes to GRRM and his depictions of women on the whole, but I think some of this is rhetorical positioning to not seem like "mean angry academics jumping on fiction for not being accurate," as the actual content turns the reader to thinking about how much agency and power medieval queens had in different European societies and how little of that worked its way into GRRM's worldbuilding.

It's true that women typically didn't inherit titles and thrones in their own right, and that they were usually given in marriage for political/dynastic reasons. However, they weren't seen as brood mares whose only duty was to pop out sons: both queens and noblewomen had roles to play as household managers, counselors, and lieutenants, actively participating in the ruling of their domains and in local and international diplomacy (women in political alliances were not just pawns sent to a powerful man's bed, but were to act as ambassadors for their families and to pass information back and forth), and they had to be raised with an understanding of this so that they could learn to do it. Motherhood was very important, don't get me wrong, but it's a mistake to assume as pop culture does that a wife's foremost duty being to provide heirs for her family meant that she was ONLY seen as a mother/potential mother.

Catelyn is a great example of what was expected of women in these positions. But in the books, Catelyn is basically the only woman who inhabits this role, and the impression given is that she's exceptional, that she's just in charge of the household because she's so great at it that Ned allows her to be his partner, and that he listens to her advice because she happens to be a wise person in his orbit - and also that Ned is exceptional for giving so much power to a woman, because in the world of ASOIAF, it takes an especially good man to do this. In GRRM's view of the medieval world, realpolitik and the accumulation of power are the most important things, so men in Westeros are extremely unlikely to give up any authority to their wives, even though this is historically inaccurate.

Cersei, on the other hand, is supposed to be a more realistic depiction of what would happen to an ambitious medieval woman. There's a chapter titled "Queen of Sad Mischance: Medievalism, “Realism,” and the Case of Cersei Lannister" in the book I've rec'd, and it deals with why this is problematic extremely well. (This is the source of the quote at the top of this post.) In it, Kavita Mudan Finn argues that Cersei embodies pretty much every medieval trope for the illegitimate wielding of power by a woman. She underhandedly gets people killed for opposing her, she seduces men into doing her bidding, she advances her family's interests and her own at the expense of the realm. She's made sympathetic through fannish interpretation and Lena Headey's performance, but in the text she's an evil woman doing evil things. Even when she gets to be regent for her son - a completely legitimate historical position that allowed women to handle the levers of power almost exactly like a king - she continues to do shitty things and not be taken seriously because she's just not good at ruling.

But even before then, from a medieval perspective she had access to completely legitimate power that she didn't use: she'd have had estates giving her a large personal income, religious establishments to patronize (giving her a good reputation as a pious woman and people she'd put in high positions being personally loyal to her), artists and writers to patronize as well, power over her household, men around her listening to her counsel. That she doesn't have that is a reflection of GRRM either deciding these things don't really exist in Westeros in order to make it a worse world than medieval Europe and justify Cersei feeling she had to use underhanded means of power, or not knowing that they were ordinary and unexceptional because he has a good working knowledge of the politics of the Wars of the Roses but little to no knowledge of social history beyond pop culture osmosis, and, imo, little to no interest in actual power dynamics.

There are a lot of books I'd recommend on this subject. There's a series from Palgrave Macmillan called "Queenship and Power" and nearly all the books in it are THE BEST. Theresa Earenfight's Queenship in Medieval Europe is a very readable introduction to the situations of queens in European societies across the continent. She also has a book, Women and Wealth in Late Medieval Europe, that also addresses non-royal women's power. I'm also a huge fan of English Aristocratic Women, 1450-1550: Marriage and Family, Property and Careers, by Barbara Harris, which really emphasizes the "career" aspect of women's lives as administrators and diplomats.

[genderqueerdykes]

2024, yet another year where I see my local city's pride fest have a day specifically to "celebrate femininity" (called "She+ Fest") and then have no such day dedicated to a celebration like that that for masculinity, or gender neutrality/gender beyond the binary spectrum folks. there is a non-binary pride flag on the poster for this event, and yet it's only for feminine people. there's a lesbian flag on the poster, and yet it's only for "femininity", meaning butches will feel alienated and not want to attend.

it actually made me just want to cry because yet again masc & neutral/other gendered queers are made to feel like we're nothing special, like we're nothing worth celebrating, like we're meant to just blend into the crowd and be background noise, like there's nothing to be proud of and like we don't need community. if this event is for lesbians, where the hell do the butches go? where the hell do the femmes who aren't women and don't want to be seen as one go? why do we claim to love lesbians and then RACE to leave out butches and non woman identifying lesbians as fast as we fucking can?

the big issue here is this is yet again leaving masc and other gender queers with nowhere to go. no space to occupy. no way to meet each other in a concentrated and guided fashion. its great to uplift feminine people and women, i'm not complaining about the existence of this event; what I'm saying, however, is that it's glaringly apparent what people are implying by having an event only for "celebrating" femininity and then having so such events for other trans people. the message is deafening and hurts like hell.

to the people who say "the generalized pride events are made for you, why can't you just celebrate in those?" my answer is this: WHY do we need a day specifically dedicated to femininity, then? why can't femme queers celebrate in the generalized events, too? why are non-binary people only being recognized in a feminine context? why are we making it easy for feminine people to interact, but not masculine or gender neutral people? why do masc & neutral people have to wade through a sea of people to find other people just like us, but we create space after space for "feminine" nonbinary people and women. please create spaces for masc and other gender queers. we are begging you. we are tired of being told we're oppressors or that we're inherently dangerous to femme queers and women. we're sick of being told we don't deserve to be celebrated, or that we are nothing special.

our community can't keep going like this. masc & neutral queers need community, too. we need to be able to find and support each other, too. how is it 2024 and we're STILL only acknowledging non binary identities in a feminine context. our community is suffocating. masc & other gender queers are drowning. include EVERYONE and allow EVERYONE to find support from people just like them. this shouldn't be something we afford to just femmes and women. fuck out of here.

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Anarcharisms, LGBT+ characters and cultures and How I'd Write Taash's Storyline

Taash was one of my favourite characters in DATV. As somsone who is genderqueer, genderfluid and still exploring all that, I also really appreciated their story. In our world today, its vital that stories about non-binary and trans characters are told to wider audiences. However, once again, the softening of Thedas; its culture and its people, led to kinda shitty writing.

So lets get it out of the way: it feels anachranistic when Taash says 'non-binary'. This isn't to say that you can never use modern LGBT+ vocabulary in a fantasy world; fantasy worlds are fantasy and you can do whatever you want with that. But Dragon Age has never used these terms before; words like gay, non-binary, trans; they haven't existed in the Dragon Age universe. Instead, Dragon Age in the past has opted for explorations via in-world cultures such as the Qun having a specific word; aqun-athlok.

I kinda think this has attitude has some rather uncomfortable undertones that just weren't thought through: being non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, these things have always existed. But implying the need for modern vocabulary about them, reinforces the idea that LGBT+ identities are 'modern', 'current' that they never could have existed before these words were coined. The fact that Dragon Age didn't use the word gay but does non-binary it just...makes me feel a little bit like they thought they could ask us to imagine gay people in a world before the term gay was invented, but didn't have that same idea to show us how non-binary people could exist before we had modern terms for them.

Dragon Age has also in the past hinted at nuanced ideas of how various cultures might see gender and gender identity. The Qun for example, based on what both Iron Bull and Sten say, appears to see gender identiy as tied to your 'role' or 'job'. Meanwhile, Tevinter has Maevaris, who has thrived and inhereted a seat in the magisterum while still being trans but seems to experience some prejudice from conservative magisters.

This game wacks nuance out the window and opts instead for a softening of everything (see my post here for more on that). So despite Taash's storyline supposedly being about exploring their multi-cultural heritage, there isn't actually a lot of space for exploring any culture at all in Thedas throughout this game.

But here's my pitch on how I'd fix it:

Firstly, I'd make it so that there was a specific word that Tevinter had for being non-binary that the Qun doesn't. Much like how it pans out in the game, Taash could meet with shadow dragons, realise this and explore it, and find it fits. They would still use they/them pronouns and state as such.

But then, when Taash came to tell their mum, I'd have Taash's mum say that she always thought that Taash might be aqun-athlok because they fight. This would push forward that idea of gender-identiy in the Qun being completely different to how Southern Thedas sees it, with it largerly being attached to your job.

Taash would then explain no, they are [insert Tevinter Word Here]. At which point, the point of contention would come from the fact that Taash has adopted a Tevinter word and identity. This would mirror the way conservatives in some countries across the world see/frame LGBT+ issues as a western concept. Taash's mum would have a problem with this especially because Tevinter and the Qun have been at war for centuries (something you'd be hard pressed to realise in this game despite the fact that it feels like it really should have come up at some point but I digress). This would then tie this plotline with Taash's exploration of their heritage and culture and what it means to be qunari.

I'd also make it so that theres no neat 'they' in qunlat. This would again mirror how some languages are more gendered and thus non-binary people have that to deal with. This again would link to a real world issue, but would feel like it was exploring cultural issues in thedas, not softening anything. Taash's mum would be upset that there was no way to refer to Taash in their shared tongue that she currently knew of.

Finally, instead of having the scene where Isabela teaches us how to be a good ally which feels...well. Written poorly? More tell than show? I'd scrape that, and instead have us meet a very cool non-binary qunari who is actually from the Qun and follows the Qun. Taash could connect with them, and see that Qunari DO have a non-binary identiy (maybe they use neo-prounouns that work in Qunlat) that its okay to be qunari and be non-binary and that people have done it before them and will do it after them.

These are tiny changes, but it would make the culture in Thedas feel so much more vibrant and real, and explore how things actually function in the world, you know? It would make gender-identity tie in deeply with this world we've set up and known for years, and it wouldn't feel anarchanistic.

[zvezdacito]

Diasomnia sexuality (and some gender) headcanons I just wanted to yap about for no reason:

Malleus: Demiromantic Bisexual

-> There's that joke that he doesn't gaf about gender as long as it's Yuu, but (for the demiromantic part) I also like the idea that he's ride-or-die, sentimental and clingy for anyone he gets close to. So generally the only difference for how he cares about people is the type of attraction + specific boundaries (can be slightly possessive in a different way for a romantic interest? Idk)

-> Also not really sexuality but I see his gender as that "I'm probably nonbinary but I have a job so idrc about that rn" tweet but for being the next king In general I think being acespec & nonbinary would be extra perplexing for bro since he never stopped to think about personal identity stuff like that for too long (too duty-pilled🥀)

-> Being dense about regular emotional experiences + actual difference in the norms of attraction and gender add to the gap of understanding between him and others

Lilia: Bisexual (not really a sexuality but he's also polyamorous)

-> This isn't sexuality again but I also think transfeminine Lilia is cool, I genuinely believed that Lilia was just a woman with a really deep voice the first time I saw him (I was watching him vs Leona in Book 2 out of context). There's no way to easily explain this in English but by this the specific identity i see him as is basically 'bakla' in the Philippines. It is really its own gender identity in our culture and isn't a "direct equivalent" of any one anglophone label, but for the sake of non-filipinos i guess you can just understand this to mean i see Lilia as "nonbinary transfem in the Filipino way"👍

-> I think it would align with his story in a good way with how she's maligned by the senate and such, how even as a soldier Lilia was coloring her hair for style. It's also like that thing where a guy who was already considered obviously effeminate and "one of the girls" atp (I see Meleanor as kids playing with Lilia in typically "girly" ways and encouraging his cuteness/hair styling) comes out later on as actually a girl/fem nonbinary

-> General Lilia is this is that type of situation where a transfem person can't really go all out with their expression because current life-threatening circumstances require "masculinity" or their focus to be exclusively on external matters (in this case its Lilia being a lowly bat soldier in an active war. Similar to Malleus, an idea of patriotic obligation stops him from really questioning or exploring since the country needs "strength" and "unity" in these times, there was also just really little time to wonder when you're fighting for your life everyday). But after retiring Lilia is able to realize she likes being perceived as cute and begins going all out in her appearance👍

Lilia edit with the article this headcanon reminds me of:

Silver: Aroace

-> Thought it would be a kind of cool subversion of the usual fairytale prince archetype Silver is made to emulate, where romance is the greatest and purest love and marriage is THE happy end. I think it aligns with Silver wanting to spend his life "repaying" the kindness of Malleus and Lilia; if they asked him to think about gertting a family of his own in the future, I think he'd just say the true love he's found in life is already them. A knight who dedicates his lifetime devotion to familial love instead

Sebek: Gaylm

-> One of bro's most notable character gags is glazing another man at every opportunity so yeah /j. Also fsr I just can't see him as a man romantically with a woman no matter what lol

(THIS ISN'T OBJECTIVE THOUGH this is just how I personally sense his vibes. Go crazy fellow fem yumes and OC artists. You are the pillars of this earth)

⚠️ My only disclaimer is that I am cisgender so the gender headcanons are only me relating the characters to scholarly articles on transfem experiences/from personal accounts of transfem and nonbinary people online and irl.

Another reminder that these are all headcanons made by viewing canon in a specific way, not me saying they're definitively any of these identities. You can still have cis or male malleus and lilia if you prefer that😭

That is all. Thank you for reading👊🔥

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

ATSV Fun Fact!! - Mumbattan Cultural Details

Gayatri & Inspector Singh follow the Sikh Religion

Have you ever heard of Punjabi Sikhs?

If you don't know - Sikhism is a religion that originates in northern India, specifically Punjab.

The turban Gayatri's father wears - along with his last name 'Singh' implies that her father is most likely a Punjabi Sikh.

I notice this the first time watching ATSV and was like 'wow that's so cool :)'

It only hit me today that 'Oh wait I don't think a lot of people know about this very-specific, rarely-mentioned religion maybe i should say something,'

And because I LOVE yelling about world culture, LET'S GO!!!

[a SHORT essay where I explain the basics of Sikhism, a religion built on equality and justice. And details in The Singhs design, and exactly why Sikh Representation matters]

So What's Sikhism about?

Often mistaken for Muslims - Sikhs are actually a non-Abrahamic religion, with 20 million followers worldwide.

But even with so many visible practicing members, most people know very very little about this beautiful religion!

Sikhs believe in equality and unity - and defending the oppressed. Their book of faith, The Guru Granth Sahib Ji, is called 'Guru' for a reason - Sikhs see the book as not just a code of conduct, but as a living, breathing teacher for every practicioner;

From Wikipedia on Guru Granth Sahib: Sikhs since then [1708] have accepted the Guru Granth Sahib, the sacred scripture, as their eternal-living guru, as the embodiment of the ten Sikh Gurus, the highest religious and spiritual guide for Sikhs. It plays a central role in guiding the Sikh's way of life.

The Guru Granth Sahib is the spiritual leader of Sikhism, and it's treated as such.

That's why in Gurdwaras - their place of worship - it's treated as such, being clothed and held in ornate structure, constantly fanned throughout it's readings (the fan you can see in the left picture).

They believe that by following the Guru Granth Sahib Ji, they can cultivate compassion, peace, and harmony in their communities, while diminishing 'Mara' - concepts like hatred or violence.

Sikhs believe that every Sikh should revere themselves as champions of unity. And because of this many Sikhs have the same last name -

Kaur for women (Meaning Princess) and Singh for men (Meaning Lion).

Having the same last name also does away with the Indian caste system, making it another point of equality.

In ATSV Gayatri last name is Singh. However from my understanding, her name would most likely be Gayatri Kaur in reality.

I think they kept her last name as Singh as a deliberate choice to keep her initials as GS, like Gwen Stacy.

So is Gayatri Sikh?

Maybe - most likely.

But we can't be sure. Mainly because of her hair.

Gayatri has a short bob haircut, and while that might not seem like it matters, it does!

In Sikhism there are the '5K's - different aspects Sikhs wear to show their faith.

Notice the first one?

'Kesh' is the practice of leaving ones hair completely uncut. That's why you may see a lot of Sikh men with long, long beards!

And hence, the large turbans.

It's done as respect for God's creation - leaving it unaltered.

[Fun Fact! - Rastafarians, a Jamaican religion, also don't cut their hair for this reason. Think Bob Marley. Rastas call God - Jah]

So, Gayatri having short hair means she doesn't keep Kesh.

However, Sikh is a super accepting and open religion, and it's main focus is on acceptance of difference, not conformity - so she could entirely follow the faith without doing all of any of the 5Ks.

Also, if you're curious about the steel sword K - Kirpan, yes that's a thing!

Sikhs of all genders are encouraged to carry a small ceremonial blade with them.

Instead it's a symbol of the commitment to fighting for what's right - and defending those who cannot defend themselves.

A Kirpan can ONLY be used to defend the life of yourself or others, which is incredibly rare.

Why is this all so rad, cool, and important?

If you haven't noticed by now, Sikhism is a religion driven by justice. Not just in theory, but in really life as well.

That's why you may see many Sikh police officers and politicians, even here in the West. Most of them wearing the emblem on their turbans.

In fact, Canada has SO MANY Sikh politicians, that in 2019 they elected 18 of them.

For centuries Sikhs have been dedicated to justice, and developing systems of support, whether that be political involvement or feeding those in need.

The biggest Gurdwara (a place of Sikh worship) The Golden Temple feeds over 100,000 people A DAY.

For FREE.

It's a practice called Langar. A communal meal anyone can enjoy. And of course, Langar food is vegetarian.

Making Inspector Singh a Sikh - and showing him saving people and being warm to his daughter on screen is great representation for a community so often overlooked! Despite the fact they are over 20 million practicing Sikhs.

It's a great detail for Indian and Punjabi representation in specific. It accurate shows their beliefs and commitment towards helping others, no matter the cost.

And from what we can tell, this choice came later in development. We know this because ALL of his concept art shows him with a turban, not keeping Kesh.

It seems like someone later on down the line said 'Wait if his name is Singh I think he's Sikh and if he's Sikh then we're gonna have to redesign him and make that obvious oops'.

That, dear audience, is why you always have an Anthropologist in the writing room. Or some amateur anthropologist like me :)

-------------

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I really enjoyed writing it!! Sikhism is one of my favorite religions and if you have never heard anything from the Guru Granth Sahib I HIGHLY recommend it, it's very optimistic and compassionate. Sikhnet(.)com is also a great resource!

I have no idea if this will pique anyone's interest, but I hardly ever see Sikhs reflected in media and I know many many people may confuse them with Muslim, especially since many women Sikhs keep kesh and cover their hair as well.

But if you ever wanted to know the difference, here it is! If you read this far, thank you SO MUCH. And if you're a Sikh and reading this, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

As usual, here's a photo of Hobie for your travels.

BYE.

[transmutationisms]

from a non-academic, i find parts of comphet to be useful (heterosexuality becomes compulsory when you’re raised in a heterosexual society) but the foundations . suck. what do we do with theories like this, that have touched on a truth but also carry a lot of garbage? can we separate the truth from the founder?

i have to be slightly pedantic and say that i don't think rich's essay is an example of this phenomenon. my central issue with her formulation is its bioessentialist assumptions about human sex and therefore also sexuality. if i say "capitalism includes economic mechanisms that enforce heterosexual behaviour and exclude other possibilities", then what i mean by "heterosexual" is plainly not the same as what rich means—and for this reason i would seldom formulate the statement this way, without clarifying that i am talking about the enforcement of heterosexuality as a part of the creation and defence of sex/gender categories themselves. so rich and i do not actually agree on the very fundamental premises of this paper! rich was not the first or only person to point out that economic mechanisms as well as resultant social norms enforce heterosexual pairings; i actually don't even think the essay does a very clear job of interrogating the relationship between labour, economy, and the creation of sex/gender; she means something different and essentialist to what i mean by sex and sexuality; and i think her proposed responses to the phenomenon she identifies as 'compulsory heterosexuality' are uninteresting because they mainly propose psychological answers to a problem arising from conditions of political economy. so, in regards to this specific paper, i am actually totally comfortable just saying that it's not a useful formulation, and i don't feel a need to rescue elements of it.

in general, i do know what you're talking about, and i think there's a false dichotomy here: as though we must either discard an idea entirely if it has elements we dislike, or we accept it on the condition that we can plausibly claim these elements and their author are irrelevant. these are not comprehensive options. instead, i would posit that every theory, hypothesis, or idea is laden with context, including values held and assumptions made by their progenitors. the point is not to find a mythical 'objective' truth unburdened by human bias or mistakes; this is impossible. instead, i think we need to take seriously the elements of an idea that we object to. why are they there? what sorts of assumptions or arguments motivate them, and are those actually separable from whatever we like in the idea? if so, can we be clear about which aspects of the theory are still useful or applicable, and where it is that the objectionable elements arise? and if we can identify these points, then what might we propose instead? this is all much more useful, imo, than either waiting for a perfect morally unimpeachable theory or trying to 'accept' a theory without grappling with its origins (political, social, intellectual).

a recent example that you might find interesting as a kind of case study is j lorand matory's book the fetish revisited, which argues that the 'fetish' concept in freud's and marx's work drew from their respective understandings of afro-atlantic gods. in other words, when marx said capitalists "fetishise" commodities or freud spoke about sexual "fetishism", they were each claiming that viewing an object as agentive, meaning-laden in itself (ie, devoid of the context of human meaning-making as a social and political activity) was comparable to 'primitive' and delusory religious practices.

matory's point here isn't that we should reject marx's entire contribution to political economy because he was racist, nor is it that we can somehow accept parts of what marx said by just excising any racist bits. rather, matory asks us to grapple seriously with the role that marx's anthropologically inflected racism plays in his ideas, and what limitations it imposes on them. why is it that marx could identify the commodity as being discursively abstracted and 'fetishised', but did not apply this understanding to other ideas and objects in a consistent way? and how is his understanding of this process of 'fetishisation' shaped by his beliefs about afro-atlantic peoples, and their 'intelligence' or civilisational achievements in comparison to northwestern europeans'? by this critique matory is able to nuance the fetish concept, and to argue that marx's formulation of it was both reductive and inconsistently applied (analogously to how freud viewed only some sexuality as 'fetishistic'). it is true in some sense that capital and the commodity are reified and abstracted in a manner comparable to the creation of a metaphysical entity, but what we get from matory is both a better, more nuanced understanding of this process of meaning-making (incl. a challenge to the racist idea of afro-atlantic gods as simply a result of inferior intelligence or cultural development), and the critical point that if this is fetishism, then we must understand a lot more human discourse and activity as hinging on fetishisation.

the answer of what we do with the shitty or poorly formulated parts of a theory won't always be the same, obviously; this is a dialogue we probably need to have (and then have again) every time we evaluate an idea or theory. but i hope this gives you some jumping-off points to consider, and an idea of what it might look like to grapple with ideas as things inherently shaped by people—and our biases and assumptions and failings—without assuming that means we can or should just discard them any time those failings show through. the point is not to waste time trying to find something objective, but to understand the subjective in its context and with its strengths and limitations, and then to decide from there what use we can or should make of it.

[lasirenatarot]

{18+}What turns them ON about you?❤️‍🔥

Pick -a-card reading.

*intended for your specific person in mind, but can be used for future spouse if you modify the question. If traditional gender roles don’t apply to your situation convert the words to feminine&masculine energy.*

->Pile 1

{Brad and Angelina}

{cards that fell: king of fire; mirror; justice; the world;5 pentacles;ace of swords; 7wands; ace of swords;2 wands}

This pile is really interesting, this person loves earning you in a way, feeling emotionally $ubmi$$ive, like you have control over them in all aspects without even touching them.

You may be bossy,this is definitely a turn on for your person. Ironically you chose the Brad&Angelina pic, and the situation being painted with those cards is exactly Mr and Mrs energy.

They enjoy a push and pull dynamic. If you try to dominate them I feel like they would also enjoy it👀 (even if they seem sceptical at first).

Arguing may be a turn on of theirs, puni$hing them with your absence or other ways when they don’t act accordingly; (that includes the makeup $£x after.) May sound toxic for some, but they may be one of those people that start little arguments for the smallest things sometimes, on purpose, so you two can ‘make up’ and they can ‘apologise’ by being good and pleasing you however you want (you know how) after..

They like when you’re acting kinda bitchy & like you’re ‘the prize’ they need to earn, but the key here is to do everything in moderation and not be mean&rude 24/7.

Your confidence may be a turn on for them. When you’re seducing them on purpose and then pulling away &acting like they can’t have you..(yet), because they should work more and ‘be better’ to get your attention. Your person needs constant passion to feel stimulated.

->Pile 2

{Vincent and Monica}

Cards that fell: 2fire,the punishment,earth,the priestess, 9water,king of water, 9swords,10chalices,knave of chalices,9pentacles,2pentacles }

This person loves the fact that you seem to have no restraints around them, you are quite open emotionally, in tune with your emotional side and know how to balance it well. (earth sign moon/venus energy).

Getting dolled up for them is sth they would probably appreciate- nice dress, hair & makeup done..

It may be a turn on for them knowing only they can have you in ways other people cannot.(you can tell them some bs like ‘yOu’Re tHe bEst I eVer Had..’ etc😂😂 it doesn’t matter if it is actually true, it would make them feel like a God.)

Praising them may be a turn on as well, it would make them feel more dominant, more in their power. Letting them take the control in bed, as well as non-$€xu@l situation would also be a little turn on for them, again, it would make them feel appreciated.

Knowing they can be the person that is capable of fulfilling all your needs is something very important to them. This pile is heavy on the praise k/ink, they need to feel desired&needed.

When you attend to them & their feelings, have obvious feelings for them ( i feel like this is important to mention, they may have been in a relationship where they’ve felt unappreciated, unwanted, not desired enough by their previous partner. The partner might have used them in a way.)

$€xting and writing notes to keep the anticipation during the day when u’re not together may work on them.👀

->Pile 3

{Jane et Serge}

Cards that fell: the moon, justice, the tower, 8pentacles, 10wands, 8fire,6air, 4swords, the world, king of air, ace of fire, temperance }

It will be hard to explain this energy but bare with me:

This person probably likes what I like to call more « bright » women- women who are confident&feminine, such who love the spotlight and getting lots of attention. ( in my mind is this scene where Jessica Rabit where she performs..)

People who are sensual & confident but not arrogant may be just their type.

A situation where they can feel turned on by you is for example if (hypothetically speaking) you’re in a group setting with some ppl who do not like you, they are passive aggressive with you, but you choose not to reply with the same energy and remain kind&graceful.(they may feel the urge to protect you and stand up for you in such situations) When you act like a « damsel in distress » basically, and they can be your « savior »..

A turn on for them I feel like it would be a situation where you’re ‘feeling yourself’, for example if you’re dancing in the club and they happen to be there as well and see you doing that.. $educing them in public places where you can get caught (or public $\€x)

Another turn on for them would be for you to ‘put on a show’ for them (you can decide yourself how, ex. give them a lap dance or sth, beautiful lingerie, a special dress..). They probably like the concept of « femme fatale » type of women who can ‘turn their life’ around.

This may not resonate for all, but if you are from a different culture/country, this may also be a turn on for them.

Decks used: ‘$£xual magic’ oracle deck by Lo Scarabeo; ‘Manara’ €rotic tarot deck by Milo Manara/ Lo Scarabeo;

That was all from today’s PAC.

thank you for reading! Hope it resonated.💞 Don’t forget to follow for more.

-La Sirena.💋

[odocoileus-esoterica]

I've always felt like a lot of dolls don't talk about how doing porn as a trans woman sucks in a lot of specific ways; which totally makes sense, society is already sex and porn negative enough that I think most of us know we don't need to throw our voices behind what is already a popular sentiment for all the wrong reasons. But I still get the urge to get back into it. Nowdays I'm easily disuaded by the time I'm even a quarterway through setting up the gambit of socials and automatic payment and delivery services you're expected to have as a working girl.

But I always have that moment afterwards where I wonder why I even wanted to come back to it? If TME workers think the degradation and abuse from 'customers' (these types never actually buy anything, at least from girls like us) is bad, the way they treat prostitutes from the gender position that is most often seen as sexually avalible and disposable is sickening. Many of these same TME sex workers will see you as a 'potential costar,' which in reality means many will use you as a prop and oddity in their career that is already orders of magnitude more profitable than your's will ever be. Almost nothing will turn you into a disaffected baeddel faster than working with your queer siblings of non-transfeminized experience in porn.

But I do still have access to some of the social media accounts I used to use when I was working. Occasionally I see some piccrew icon I've never seen before. And I click on it. And the last messages we ever exchanged was her buying content from me, years ago. And then I see it all. I see the first crossdresser I ever saw in highschool, needing escorted from room to room around school. I remember when she became just a normal man. I remember when she came to my college and became administration. I remember meeting her at a bar, and telling her how she gave me hope just 10 years earlier. And I see her tense and I tell her it will be okay. She gives me $100s over the next several months in exchange for exploring my body, until we eventually just fall out, and then 2 years later I recieve a picture of her, and she's beautiful, and she's smiling, and she's her again. The same girl I saw walking through those halls in high school. And I realize how many people were paying me to hold their hand and say "hey, it's gonna be okay, I'm right here right? It's doable. It's real."

I sincerely wish this wasn't our class position, that I could affect the world with something other than how titilating the image of my body is. But I would put up with anything to hold my sister's hand and tell her it's okay.

[annabelle--cane]

tma s1 thing I just caught- in martin and sasha's statements, they both have a moment where they're describing the creature they encountered and stop themselves from using a gendered pronoun and go to "it" instead.

I could see those… thin, silver worms crawling in and out, and their black tips twitching as they squirmed through that… pitted… meat. I mean, it wasn’t human. It can’t have been. Sh-She… It took a step towards me and as it did so the worms began to writhe out of every hole and cavity, falling to the floor in a cascading… wave and starting to crawl towards me with… with alarming speed.

+

I didn’t want to call him Michael; it didn’t seem to fit somehow, and the way he said it made me think that it definitely was not his name. Still, it wasn’t like I had any other name for him. No, not for him. For it.

but martin doesn't refer to jane by pronouns for a while after that passage, and the first time he does is when he's having his "oh god was she just a sick woman I left to die" moment, and after that he reverts to using she and her pronouns for the rest of his statement. conversely, sasha uses it and its for michael the whole way through her statement after that, except for, debatably, this one line near the end. both the snarp and rq official transcripts have is down as "its," but I distinctly hear "his."

I looked up to see Michael, reaching into my shoulder. Its fingers were long and distorted as they reached through my skin, cutting it like paper. I screamed. After a few seconds, it withdrew its hand. Held there was a single silver worm, wriggling pathetically in his grip. I hadn’t even felt the thing burrowing into my arm.

to me these differences are interesting from a few angles, both from the martin/sasha and jane/michael sides of things (also just for clarity I'm going to use she/her for jane and he/him for michael going forward in this post).

michael consistently self-describes as non human, or slightly human but only begrudgingly and against his will, and to sasha's knowledge michael was never human at all, whereas jane is more simply a normal person who got creaturefied, so "it" and other traditionally non human language may just be a better fit for michael's reality than for jane's, but I also think the specific places where sasha and martin switch back to traditionally human pronouns are telling. in michael's case, it is the moment where sasha sees that he's directly saved her life, even though he did so by using a distinctly inhuman aspect of himself: his distorted hands. in jane's case, it's when martin contemplates whether she was in need of help and he abandoned her, and after contemplating that he doesn't try using "it" for her again. sasha re-humanizes michael when he is being vitally helpful, and martin re-humanizes jane when he thinks about her as vulnerable.

I also think martin trying to see jane as non human and not managing to keep it up even a little bit speaks to his reoccurring issue of being inconsistent in whom he dehumanizes and at what times. he wants to see jane as a monster when she's in his line of sight and scary and gross, but once he's away from her and conceptualizes of her as being theoretically vulnerable, he can only see her as a person.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/765950159275409408/well-ive-finally-seen-a-het-guideverse-thing?source=share

i think its so funny (and by funny I mean completely predictable) that het writers keep not only borrowing the fanfic tropes but specifically tropes invented by queer people. But also the other part of this the het omegaverse and now het guideverse its all basically a new way to present the whole 'i sold myself to one direction' 'sexual slavery' 'kidnapping' tropes.

So for me its funny (now actually funny) that so many het writers apparently even with the boom of dark romance and stuff are uncomfortable with straight up writing their desired kink but are more comfortable dressing it up in faux fantasy/sci-fi setting and selling it as romantasy or whatever.

Just say you're into non con! But no it's easier to say I'm into romantasy than I'm into non con.

And yeah of course the entitlement is off the roof in those spaces. Honestly there's so much unchecked queerphobia in all m/f ships and het romances that I won't be surprized if we actually got another Addison Cain because now since the straights got their hands on this trope its no longer "gross" and "icky" of course. It's now a trope in the romance genre and you voicing any concerns about the way people talk about gender and queerness in those spaces is now misogyny. And the romance girlies will of course rally to protec their favorite romance writer.

They did learn that lesson very well, of brushing any criticism aside as misogyny.

--

Romantasy spaces can be irritating, but I do think a lot of the point of Good Girls Don't tropes is for the reader to also not have to admit to being horny or horny for noncon. Of course there's that fig leaf of sff biology made them do it... or he thought she was a prostitute because reasons.

[sundrop-writes]

Damn The Man, Save The Empire

(Dark)Dom!Vanessa Shelly x Sub!GN!Reader

Heaven is a place we can't afford.

Summary:

Vanessa has always taken care of you.

Since the two of you were kids, she has put her neck on the line for you, and you rarely knew how to return that epic kindness. One night, while both of you are raw and on-edge, the dark cloud of your strange past looming over both of you nearly swallows both of you whole - and once again, Vanessa is right there, taking care of you.

(Dark)Dom!Vanessa Shelly x Sub!Gender Neutral Reader. Toxic Co-Dependent Relationship. Smut and Angst. Takes place before the main timeline of the film (features spoilers for the movie).

Word Count: 6,100

Horror Characters Masterlist | AO3 Link

Full list of warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: This fic contains major spoilers for the film (even though it takes place before the main bulk of the film) - if you haven’t seen the movie yet and you want to watch it spoiler-free, be cautious; general toxic relationship - the two main characters have a very toxic relationship; there is a power imbalance in the relationship due to one of the characters being a police officer; both of the main characters have a lot of childhood trauma and they show it in their actions; there is underlying dom/sub dynamics - the reader is submissive and Vanessa is dominant; somewhat dubious consent - the whole interaction starts out as an argument rather than something explicitly sexual, but the reader still enjoys it the whole time (one of those safe, consensual, but not ‘sane’ situations). The reader’s gender is completely ambiguous - the only pronouns used for the reader are you/yours, and the reader’s genitals are described in a way that could be interpreted as the character being amab or afab, no specific gendered terms are used; mentions of the reader having sex with someone who is not Vanessa (a random unnamed man); mentions of the reader having sex in the back of someone’s car and being caught by a police officer who is not Vanessa (and then being passed off to Vanessa); dark!Vanessa, jealous!Vanessa, possessive!Vanessa (she hates that the reader had sex with someone else earlier that night).

The reader and Vanessa have been friends since childhood; mention of the reader drinking/ingesting alcohol - not enough to impair consent or impair the general senses; the reader calls Vanessa ‘Ness’ or ‘Nessa’ as a nickname; technically, Vanessa does ‘arrest’ the reader (she doesn’t bring the reader into a police station or file any official paperwork); Vanessa puts the reader in handcuffs in a non-sexual way, and later those handcuffs are used for sexual bondage; use of Y/N (and L/N, meaning Last Name); mention of the reader character stealing and doing other petty crimes; mentions of Vanessa’s childhood trauma - her father murdering children and forcing her to help cover it up (implications that she also participated in the killings in some way); the reader witnessed one of the killings as a child and has also kept it a secret; somewhat graphic descriptions of murder/a child being killed.

Some manhandling but nothing that would insist that Vanessa has inhuman strength; hair-pulling - kind of in a sexy way, kind of in a violent way; Vanessa literally steps on the reader (again, kind of violent, kind of sexy) - some breath restriction due to being stepped on; general pain kink; the characters in this fic have a poor attitude toward casual hook-ups; there is a hand on the neck but no purposeful choking (very little restriction of breath); nipple play - Vanessa painfully tugs the reader’s nipple; something like subspace is described, but the word ‘subspace’ isn’t specifically used; slight inspection kink; spanking - on the reader’s thighs and on the reader’s genitals; Vanessa calls the reader ‘brat’; a lot of this could be seen as brat-taming/brat tamer!Vanessa; Vanessa uses her hand on the reader - because the reader’s genitals are not described, this could be interpreted as a handjob or fingering (but there are no mentions of penetration); Vanessa fucks herself against the reader’s thigh; Vanessa edges the reader (once); asking permission to orgasm; biting/marking kink; I believe that's finally everything.

A/N: This fic is named after a Pierce The Veil song of the same name. I definitely recommend listening to the song, because the lyrics fit with this fic so so well. A very large part of her characterization in this is informed by the 'if you bring Abby back here again, I will shoot you' moment from the movie - rage fuelled by compassion and love and protectiveness for another person. I really love that part and I think it's such an interesting aspect to her character. Also, I put a lot of thought into making this completely gender neutral, making sure the reader could be interpreted as amab or afab, so I hope that everyone enjoys it! Also - I know that it might be weird for Vanessa's nickname in this fic to be 'Ness' because that's the name of Matpat's diner character (named after a character in one of his theories??) but I think it's a cute nickname, and if I actually knew her, that's what I would call her. So I am going off the idea that neither of the characters in this fic know Ness the diner waiter, and the reader has just always called Vanessa 'Ness'. So - yeah.

...

“Get in the car.” Vanessa barked - the pure anger and annoyance in her voice echoed through the night. 

You hated that it brought you a certain kind of warped joy. 

She put a hand flat on your back, between your shoulder blades, and roughly shoved you toward the back bumper of her police cruiser. 

You purposefully walked slower, just to mock her, and she let out a harsh sigh. You bit your lip to hold back a grin. At this point in your lives, this was just the nature of your relationship with your best friend. You didn’t just get under her skin, you lived there. 

“God, I can’t believe you!” She shouted. “Public indecency? You’ve gotten in shit for some pretty stupid things, but having sex in the back of some random asshole’s car-?!” 

“The back of someone’s car should not be considered ‘public’!” You argued, laughter edging on your voice. 

It was difficult to take things seriously when you knew that the consequences wouldn’t be too severe. Vanessa always swooped in to save you. She would just bring you home, scold you a bit. But she wouldn’t do anything that would leave a lasting mark. 

“Did you even know the guy you were fucking? Did you even use a fucking condom?” She screeched at you. 

Did you know the guy? Sort of. Did you use a condom? Yes, you did. 

But you were in the mood to annoy Vanessa even more. 

You shrugged. “Why does it matter? Your stupid cop friend interrupted us before we could even finish, so-” 

“Ugh, get in the car!”

She was lucky that Officer Lamontange had been on duty, and he owed her a favor. Anybody else would have slapped a pair of cuffs on you and hauled you to the station without a second thought. You’d be in processing by now, and you’d be in jail for the next few weeks before they could even get you a public defender. 

But that was you and Vanessa. You fucked up, she stuck her neck out for you. This was probably going to be one time too many. This was going to be the one that got her fired. She had already been warned about letting you off, performing ‘special favors’. 

“Get in the car!” You repeated back, mocking her voice in a silly way before you let out a chuckling howl. 

So what? You liked to party. So what? Those parties got a little out of control. 

It’s not your fault some uptight suburban yuppies called the cops on you for having fun. You didn’t even know that having an ‘open container’ of booze and having sex in the back of someone’s car was illegal anyway. Live and learn. 

“God, how much have you had to drink?” Vanessa gritted through her teeth, low and full of breath, the way she always did when she was angry. 

It was something that made your stomach twist and made you far dizzier than the alcohol did. You weren’t sure if it was from lust - from your underlying attraction toward her, or if it was from fear. Perhaps a bit of both. 

“Let me smell your breath.” She demanded. 

Truthfully, you hadn’t had that much to drink. One or two sips from a bottle, enough to get you a bit buzzed. You had been planning on having more later. But you were in a nagging mood, and didn’t want to give into her so easily. 

“Ness, I’m not a fucking teenager-” You argued, still facing away from her as you trudged toward the car with lazy steps. 

She put a hand on your elbow and whipped you around with a surprising strength, forcing you to face her. She was tight in your personal space before you could blink, and instinctively, you clamped your mouth closed and held your breath - though you knew that the smell of Jack Daniels would be apparent coming off your nose and lips whether you breathed on her or not. 

“You’re not a teenager anymore, but you’re sure as fuck acting like one.” She said harshly. 

You finally released your breath, giving another laugh and a shrug. 

“At least I know how to have fun.” You argued, entirely careless about the situation. 

You expected that you would get into the front seat of the car and she would drive you home. She’d probably make you drink some water before tucking you into bed, and you would fall asleep to her giving you a long lecture about responsibility. She would come by in the morning with coffee and bagels (despite the stereotypes about cops, Vanessa was not much of a donut person). 

But instead of partaking in this predictable routine, Vanessa surprised you with her next move. 

She put a hand in the middle of your back and shoved you toward the car again. This time you were closer - your stomach landed against the back bumper, and you let out a small grunt as you collided with it. You turned your head over your shoulder to question her, but before you could get any words out, she pulled one of your forearms to the middle of your back and you felt cold steel on your wrist. 

“Y/N L/N, you’re under arrest for Public Intoxication and Public Indecency,” She announced, her voice deadly calm, and stern. 

“Ness, you’re seriously arresting me?” You asked, insult and scorn running through your voice. 

Her answer came in the form of her bringing your other wrist to the middle of your back - she joined it into the cuffs with the harsh, echoing grind of metal as the cuffs slid into place. 

“You have the right to remain silent-” She said, continuing to go about the routine in a very unfeeling tone. 

“You have the right to fuck off.” You bit back bitterly. 

“Anything you say can and will be used against you-” 

“Is that everything I’ve ever told you from when we were kids, or is that just starting now?” You asked, feeling spite rise up in you. 

“Will you ever learn to shut up?” She replied with a sarcastic, spiteful question of her own, and grabbed you to bring you around to the back door of the car. 

You heaved out a sigh as she opened the door. As she put a hand on the top of your head and tried to push you into the car, you resisted further. 

“Ness, seriously?” You said, hoping one last push against her would get her to take off the cuffs. 

“Just get in the car.” She repeated again, her voice entirely stern. 

You sagged, and let yourself become pliant to her motions as she guided you into the backseat. 

It wasn’t the first time you had been in the back of her police car. But it was always under other circumstances. If something else was occupying the front seat, like a large tool box or her gym bag, then she would make you sit in the back. Sometimes, if you were too drunk to sit up and she was afraid you would puke on her, then she would make you sit in the back. You found it to be a decent place to fall asleep. 

However, this was the first time you had been in the backseat in handcuffs. 

This was the first time she had officially arrested you. 

You found it uncomfortable to sit with your wrists behind your back, but you knew that was currently the least of your problems. Vanessa leaned in, reaching for the seatbelt, ready to strap you in, fiddling with it for a moment before she grunted with frustration. 

“The seatbelt back here is still broken.” She said through gritted teeth as she moved to stand at her full height outside the car. “Because someone insisted on-” 

“Oh, shut up.” You barked back. “Where else was I supposed to strap in Sir Bearrington?” 

A few weeks ago she had picked you up from a carnival. 

You had been detained by security there for stealing a large lock box of money from one of the vendors - it had been out in the open, too tempting. When you had taken it with no real plan and simply started running, you had eventually been caught by the security staff on the grounds. 

And when you had been locked up in the office, you had called Vanessa - and she had arrived to bail you out without question. Earlier in the night, you had won an oversized teddy bear and refused to give it up even when Vanessa insisted that it was stupid. 

Apparently your insistence to try and strap the bear into her back seat, the ensuing argument the two of you had over it, grabbing the seatbelt and tugging at it - had broken the seatbelt. You hadn’t been paying much attention at the time. 

“You’re not cute.” Vanessa mumbled, clearly disgruntled by the whole thing. 

She slammed the back door closed, leaving you unrestrained in the back of the car, fully prone to be injured in a car accident. Though, you supposed she didn’t care about that with how angry she was at you right now. 

She walked around to the front seat and got in, leaving the two of you in a sullen silence as she started the car and drove away. She didn’t even bother putting on the radio to buffer that silence, and you hated how much it made you feel like a child sitting in the principal’s office. 

You stared at the back of her head through the metal mesh of the cage separating the front and the back - something that supposedly kept her safe from the dangerous criminal that you were. You felt a deep bitter ache form inside of you as all of it truly set in. With the handcuffs biting into your wrists and your fingers beginning to tingle with numbness, it truly hit you. 

Vanessa wasn’t going to protect you anymore. 

“You’re seriously bringing me in?” You choked out, not intending for the hurt to come through in your voice as much as it did. 

“Yes.” Vanessa replied. “You did something wrong. You deserve to see justice.” 

“Justice?” You scoffed, shaking your head. “You sure have a funny sense of that.” 

“How so?” Vanessa asked, her voice entirely timid. 

She kept her eyes straight ahead, not daring to catch a glimpse of your disappointed face in the rearview mirror. She had a feeling that she knew what you were going to say, and she wasn’t going to like it. 

“If you had any sense of justice, you wouldn’t have begged me not to rat out your father all those years ago.” You said, your voice choked off by emotion. “I would have told everyone what I saw, and he’d be in jail. You would have gone into foster care with some other family, and you’d be miles and miles away from this shithole town. And… I’d probably be in the psych ward. Making paper crafts with some nice woman named Martha.” 

“Please don’t talk about my father.” Vanessa gritted out - it was a very tender spot for her, which was something that you already knew. 

The day you met Vanessa was one of the worst days of your life. 

It started out as a day that was entirely unassuming, at best. You had divorced parents, and when your father got you on weekends, he didn’t like to try too hard. He was the type of dad who turned on the TV and fell asleep, left you to your own devices. You liked it that way. 

That weekend, he had brought you out. Freddy Fazbear’s was a place kids could have fun, and their parents could sit back and forget about them. You liked it there - just like any other kid would. You ran around, played arcade games, ate pizza. You gawked at the animatronic band and danced to their songs. 

At one point, you ran into a shy little blond girl and she introduced herself to you as Vanessa. She told you that sometimes being at Freddy’s got boring for her because her father worked there and she was there all the time. She showed you all the best arcade games, and a hack to get a free play (unplugging them and plugging them back in, which reset them to ‘demo mode’). She even snuck behind the prize counter and got you a decoder ring that you had been admiring, but didn’t have enough tickets for. 

The two of you had the best afternoon together. And you hated it when your father shouted your name and told you that you were going home. So you told him that you needed a spare minute to say goodbye to your new friend Vanessa. And then, innocently enough - you sought her out. 

This search for her mistakenly led you into one of the back rooms.

The horrors you saw could barely be described. A Yellow Rabbit mascot missing its head. A twisted, laughing face covered in blood. A horrifically large knife plunging into a small body. Bright red, thick blood. Guts, flesh. Carnage. 

Vanessa found you just as her father spotted you out of the corner of his eye. He came at you with the bloody knife at the ready. That crazed expression on his face was the most unforgettable thing about him. Whenever you closed your eyes and thought back to that day - the expression on his face was the thing that you remembered most. 

Vanessa threw herself in front of you and begged for your life. The discussion between them that followed was a blur in your mind as your heart thumped hard between your ears. Something about ‘witnesses’ and ‘loose ends’. All you knew for certain was that Vanessa had saved your life. 

At one point, using his large, yellow mascot hand, he thrust a knife toward her, forcing it into her small fist - and he told her that it was time for her to start ‘pulling her weight’. Vanessa took you by the wrist and took you to another room. 

But you never felt afraid with her, not for a moment. 

She made you swear not to tell anyone what you had seen, and you did. And because she just didn’t have it in her to take a life, especially not yours - she let you live. 

It was too weekends later when your father brought you back to Freddy’s. 

You were excited to see Vanessa. Her father was not excited to see you. When he pulled you into one of the back rooms and berated Vanessa about why you were still ‘around’ - you finally found your courage, and told him that you ‘wouldn’t tell’. The smile he gave you was almost as horrifying as the killing had been. He patted you on the head, and said that he liked loyalty ‘in his friends’. 

The Bonnie plushie that he gave you - a kind of reward for your silence, felt tainted. You threw it away at the closest opportunity, but you kept the decoder ring. You still had it in your jewelry box, even to this day. 

Strangely enough, that wasn’t the last time you saw Vanessa. The two of you spent more and more time together, quickly becoming best friends. You were two lost children in the world, two warped branches of a tree growing to lean on each other, desperate to find the sun. You were the only person who knew all of her dark secrets and didn’t care. You were the only person around her who wasn’t dead, or didn’t fear the rumors about her after Freddy’s shut down - even after she started going by her mother’s maiden name, desperate to escape the dark shadow her father had created over her life. 

Being around Vanessa, spending more time with her - it meant that you did see her father in passing. Every time you did, it felt like seeing a ghost. It did feel like the man with the knife and the crazed expression on his face was a completely different person from the man with the thick glasses who sat across from you at the dinner table, offering you more peas and asking about how your classes were going. 

Vanessa was always the same person. She was always stubborn. She was always a champion for the innocent. She was always someone who needed intense control over every aspect of her life. You thought she would have been destined to become a social worker - but you guessed that she had seen too many broken, dead kids for a lifetime. And she liked the security of having a gun on her belt. So that’s why she became a cop. 

You became a highschool drop-out, part-time drunk, petty criminal, sex degenerate, and general failure. 

It was a real case study of the two roads that trauma corrupted people can take. If anybody were ever willing to take a closer look. 

Vanessa fuelled her anxiety and anger into going forward, charging ahead without thinking, and your anxiety and nightmares caused you to fall more and more backward by the minute. 

“How is dear old daddy, by the way?” You asked, picking at the raw nerve out of spite. “Has he missed me at family dinners?” 

“Shut up!” Vanessa barked. Then after a heavy moment, she let out another quiet, mousy sentence. “I haven’t seen him in years. You know that.” 

“Oh, but your bank account says otherwise.” You replied, a cocky tone breaching through. “The new apartment is so nice. I know you’re not bankrolling all that on a cop’s salary. What kind of dirty work does he have you doing these days?” 

Vanessa’s silence was painfully knowledgeable. 

He had sucked her back in somehow. 

“I knew that you always had a soft spot for him.” You sighed. “You probably wish he had gotten rid of me all those years ago, huh?” You mumbled quietly. “It’s not like you ever actually cared about me.” 

Of course, you were feeling hurt by her putting you in handcuffs, threatening to turn you in, something that felt like the ultimate betrayal - so the words slipped out. 

You were shocked when Vanessa slammed on the breaks and the car came to a screeching halt. It was lucky that you were on a desolate backroad with nobody else to rear-end you at the sudden stop. If not for your instincts (even while slightly inebriated) to put your foot against the cage, keeping yourself from smacking forward, then you likely would have had the harsh shape of that mesh imprinted on your cheek. 

“I never cared about you?” Vanessa asked, her voice filled with an intense, dark rage. 

You caught her eye in the rearview mirror, and save for the tears dancing on her waterline - she had a look almost identical to that same crazed look her father had worn all those years ago. You almost would have mocked her for it if you didn’t feel your stomach clenching up with fear. 

You had to remind yourself that this was your Vanessa. This wasn’t him. 

“I never cared about you?” She repeated, so utterly insulted by what you had said that she could feel her reality tearing apart. She almost could believe that you had said it. 

“Vanessa-” You choked out, calling her by her full name for the first time in so long. 

Before you could beg for mercy or apologize, she abruptly cut you off. 

“No.” She said. “Shut up.” 

The pure force of her voice sent chills through you, and this time you couldn’t help but to comply. 

You sat in a dizzying silence as she slammed on the gas pedal again, and the car went speeding off. She seemed very determined with where she was going. After a minute or two, where you were becoming increasingly light-headed from your worry, Vanessa whipped the cruiser into an empty lot - a random patch of old pavement that looked like it was on the back end of a place used to keep scrap cars. 

It was dark and secluded. Nobody would find you here. 

She turned off the car and got out, and the back door was open before you could blink. 

“Vanes-” 

You tried to speak to her again, but she reached into the back and grabbed you harshly. One hand tight in your hair, fierce, like a catty teenage fight, and the other on the collar of your crappy old band shirt. She tore your body out of the car (once again, her strength amazed you), stretching out the neck of your shirt in the process. You pattered along with your feet, struggling to keep up and whining in pain as she tugged harshly on your roots, likely pulling hair out in some places. 

You would deny that you liked the pain, especially when it was inflicted onto you by her. 

She tossed you onto the ground and the roughness of the pavement bit into your skin. You let out a sharp groan as you felt some of the skin on your elbow being scraped away.

“Ness-” 

Before you could speak, she put a hefty boot on your hip and turned you over, turning you over onto your back. She then pushed that boot into the middle of your stomach, forcing all the air out of you. With the force pushing down on you, your arms became numb as your hands got pushed into the pavement, the metal of the cuffs biting into your wrists even more now. 

You looked up the length of her body at her, admiring her like a monument in the darkness. Oddly enough, equal parts fear and lust tingled through you as you had nothing but her in your view. Your mind became hazy from the grounding weight of her boot pushing down against the middle of your body. She was a goddess - piercing blue eyes, glassy and crazed, and the swell of her breasts, tightly pressed against her blue uniform shirt, the slight of her shoulders just barely blocking out the inky blue of the night sky as she towered over you. 

You knew that she could have killed you. She could have easily shot you and left your body there, and nobody would have cared about a petty criminal fuck-up like you turning up dead. 

But in that moment, you weren’t afraid. You never had to be afraid with her. 

“Vanessa-” 

“Shut. Up.” She ground out, the words harsh through her teeth. 

She pressed her foot down slightly, causing you to moan out in pain. 

“Do not, for a moment, even begin to judge-” She almost choked on the words, grinding like harsh knives against her throat. “Do not begin to perceive how much I do or do not care about you.” She said, the words harsh and venomous in the cool air. “If I didn’t care about you, you would fucking know it.” 

You knew there was more to it, more waiting on her tongue. Words she couldn’t say. 

‘If I didn’t care about you, you wouldn’t be here right now.’ 

You were lucky to have her. You knew that. 

“I’m sorry.” You croaked out, finding it hard to breathe around the boot pressing into your diaphragm. 

Once again, this reminded you of her power over you - the way she towered over you like a proud monument. You hated the fact that even as you struggled for air, you felt a demanding need growing between your thighs. 

It certainly didn’t help that you hadn’t been able to cum earlier. Like you had said, you had been interrupted before you and your ‘friend’ (acquaintance, a random guy you kind of knew) could finish up. And although you hadn’t been expecting that to be a very satisfying sexual encounter, you were hoping for it to be distracting and take the edge off of your general horniness, at the very least. 

Now you were here - unintentionally edged and hornier than ever. 

“Yeah, I’ll show you sorry.” Vanessa muttered, that anger still ripe on her breath. 

You thought maybe she would hit you. 

It wouldn’t be the first time that the two of you had gotten into a physical fight, volatile and wonderful as your relationship was. You did think it was unfair that this time you were so unmatched, with your hands cuffed behind your back. But she surprised you when, instead of punching you, she took her foot off your stomach completely. And then she came down to straddle you, sitting on that same sore spot above your waistband where her foot had just been. 

Oh, so it was that kind of sorry. 

This wouldn’t be the first time you and Vanessa had sex either. Frankly, you should have been expecting this. 

A lot of your arguments with Vanessa ended in fistfighting - or fucking. Sometimes a combination of both. 

She glared down the length of her body at you and you were aggravated. She wasn’t sitting low enough on your waist for you to grind yourself against her, to get any good friction where you needed it most. You whined with torment and pain as more pressure, the whole weight of her body and yours was put on your cuffed wrists and they were pushed into the ground. 

Your wrists were going to be so fucked - but you tried to make that a problem for your later self. 

You squirmed helplessly, trying to get more comfortable. Vanessa put a stop to your movements with a hand around your neck, shoving your head backwards into the pavement. You instantly stilled against the tightness of her fingers, especially as she pressed into the tender point at the side of your jaw with her thumb. 

She didn’t apply any intense pressure - as long as you sat with your head back and stayed still, she only used the touch to make you pliant and trap you there. 

She put her other hand above your head and leaned down slightly, creating a looming shadow over you as she spoke. 

“Do not ever accuse me of not caring about you.” She said, her voice still painted dark with anger. “Do you think that random guy you were fucking cared about you?” 

You knew the question was a trap. 

“No.” You said, your voice the timid one now. 

“Do you think he would give a shit if you live or die?” She asked, moving her free hand to skim her knuckles across the side of your cheek - a touch so gentle that it made you shiver. “Do you think he would give his life for yours?” 

“No.” You whimpered in return, feeling that aching need between your thighs growing more hot and prominent. 

“Do you think he would even give a fuck if he made you cum or not?” 

With these words, she reached down suddenly and - with picture perfect aim, grabbed your nipple through your shirt, giving it a harsh twist. The pain shot through you, causing you to arch up against the hold she had on your neck. This made you lightheaded, but you knew better than to keep her waiting for an answer. 

“No!” You whined out breathlessly. “No, he wouldn’t care!” 

“Exactly.” She growled out. “I care. I’m the only one who cares about you in this godforsaken world.” 

She was probably right. 

You sucked in a breath, desperate to fill your lungs when she let you go. 

You looked on with intrigue as she descended down your body. While sitting on your knees, keeping you pinned to the ground, she opened the button and zipper of your jeans. She dug her fingers into the waistband and yanked them down. 

It was a bit of a struggle with you acting as deadweight against her, becoming more dizzy as heat swelled between your legs and made you dumb between the ears. She managed to get your pants down to your midthigh before she left the fabric there. This left your bare ass scraping against the roughness of the pavement, left all of you exposed to the cool night air - open, waiting for her. 

You clenched your thighs tight together, waiting with nervous impatience as she looked down at you. Her jaw was tight, tern; her blue eyes glistening with rage and betrayal. 

“Did he cum inside of you?” She growled. 

All at once, she lifted her weight off your legs, sitting up onto her knees. She hovered above you as she put her hands on your inner thighs and ripped your legs apart - as far as they would go with the waistband of your jeans holding you in place. 

“Ness!” You protested quietly, knowing it was in vain. 

You felt open and exposed to her as she blatantly inspected you - her fingers dug in, holding tight against your squirming attempts to close your legs once again. She knew that even past your embarrassment, you were turned on by this. Blatant evidence of that came before her eyes as a bit of wetness pathetically leaked out of you, glistening in the low light for her to see, smearing across your skin as you struggled against her. 

“Stay still!” She snapped, giving a harsh smack to your inner thigh that resonated through the air, chasing air out of your lungs. You thrashed from the pain for a moment before going still upon instinct, knowing that your hole was now visibly clenching around nothing, waiting for her. “So misbehaved. Such a brat. It’s like you don’t even want me to fuck you at all.” 

She sat herself on top of you once again, sitting on your thighs right where your jeans were, causing the denim to cut into your skin as she weighed on it. She specifically barred your thighs open against the ground, and you made no protest as she placed a hand between your thighs and began touching you. She worked in slow, teasing strokes that made the muscles of your thighs quiver and made a moan get caught in the back of your throat. 

“Look at me.” She ordered - you hadn’t even realized that your head was tilting back, your body so loyal to her that the pleasure of such a simple touch from her already overwhelmed you. “Y/N. Look at me.” 

She put her free hand on your neck again, slowing down the hand that was between your thighs until she was just barely teasing her fingertips against you. She used two fingers on your jaw to force your eyes toward her, and then she put that hold back on your neck - not yet putting any pressure, but making her presence well known to you. 

You were powerless against her, perfect below her - and you knew that’s where you belonged. 

“Who’s in charge?” She demanded, her voice low, scraping against her throat in a way that made goosebumps form all over your skin. 

She was still touching you in that slow, barely there way. You swallowed down a whimper and resisted the urge to buck your hips up into her, knowing that it would only get you spanked in a very sensitive place. 

“You are.” You said, your voice cradling around the words in a very pathetic, fucked-out kind of way. 

“And who takes care of you?” She asked, ever present to remind you of this. 

“You do.” You told her. 

“Good.” She growled. 

Then she sped up her hand, her movements almost vengeful as she worked between your legs, touching you in a way that she distinctly knew would make you fall apart. 

“Ness!” You shouted, not even slightly mindful to keep quiet. If you were even slightly present mentally, you would have remembered that’s why she chose this location. She liked to hear you scream. “Oh fuck me!” 

“That’s the plan.” She chuckled. 

She worked you hard and fast, made you breathless. Your mouth gaped like a fish on land as you desperately tried to steal air into your lungs, ever mindful of the hold she had on your neck - a presence, not a hold, not yet. 

Just when your thighs were quivering and you were on the brink of orgasm, she pulled back. Before you could curse on her, she hauled her touch back from you completely and delivered a harsh, sharp spank to the most sensitive part of you. 

“Fuck!” You screamed. “Fuck you, Vanessa, I’ve been good!” You quickly argued, anger surging through you. 

You didn’t even hesitate before you gathered spit in your mouth and launched at her savagely, bitterly angry with her as the pain stung through you. You would never admit that in this state, it mixed with the pleasure in a deliriously confusing way, and might have brought you to orgasm if she had done it again too quickly. 

The glob of your spit landed on her shirt, making a small spot, and she glared down at it for a moment. She didn’t seem to pay it much mind. 

“No, you haven’t been.” She told you, her voice stern. “You need to remember how to be good.” 

She landed another spank between your legs, and as your almost-there orgasm faded from your stomach, this one stung a lot more. 

“Fuck!” You cursed again. 

“Now ask me nicely.” She demanded. “I won’t take care of some brat who doesn’t appreciate it. I’ll take care of someone who asks me nicely, and says thank you.” 

You were too far gone to argue against her. 

“Please.” You begged, tilting your head up to look at her. 

She was still so well composed, not a single hair out of place - the only evidence of sex on her being the stain you had left on her shirt and a tinge of pink coming across her cheeks from the obvious heat you were drawing out of her. 

“Please, Nessa. Please, I need it.” You begged, your voice breathy and fucked out. “I need you.” 

Those were the magic words. 

She put her hand back on you - gently, this time, and began steadily working you. 

“Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you!” You sighed. 

You were now making a slightly sloppy sound with your own wetness as her hand moved - she pushed a steady stream of moans out of you as she worked up the rhythm. It wasn’t long before you noticed her weight shift, and felt her rubbing herself against your thigh. You loved the impressive heat coming off her cunt, even through her pants it was apparent. From the way she moved her hips with intense urgency, she needed this too. 

You felt yourself getting close again, that deadly heat curling in your gut. You knew what needed to happen, and you weren’t going to make the same mistake again. 

“Please!” You begged, breathless. “Please, Ness, let me cum!” 

“Why should I?” She growled, working her hand even faster now, vengeful as she pumped her wrist and canted her hips against your thigh. 

“Cause - cause you’re the only one who cares about me!” You replied. “Please!” 

It seemed that this was enough to satisfy her. 

“Cum for me.” She growled out. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to disobey. 

She worked you through it - part skill, part knowing from exploring your body so many times before, from being the only person who knew you like this. She moved her hand from your neck and leaned down to sink her teeth into the skin there. The feeling of her canines digging into you while you arched up as the orgasm rocked your body only made everything more dizzying. 

The sharp pain of her bite was grounding, and as your body quaked through the last aftershocks of your orgasm, you whimpered out her name. She hushed you, gently petting her hands all over you before she soothed her tongue over the stinging bite. 

“It’s okay.” She whispered into your neck. “It’s gonna be okay.” 

After a few moments of stillness, Vanessa helped pull your pants up, silently admiring the mess you had made all over your own thighs. And then - she sat you up and unlocked the cuffs. Your wrists were incredibly sore and raw in some places from the metal cutting into your skin, but neither of you said anything about it. 

She opened the door for you to get into the front seat, and wordlessly, she drove you home. When you used your key for the front door, you left it open - a silent invitation for her to come inside after you, and she sighed loudly before doing so. 

That night, she slept in your bed. Both of you pretended that everything was okay. 

You and Vanessa were both very broken people. That wasn’t going to change anytime soon. You showed that brokenness in very different ways, and ultimately, she probably handled it a lot better than you did. 

But one thing would always be true - she took care of you, no matter what.

...

If you enjoyed this work, you are heavily encouraged to share it by reblogging or leave a comment (or an ask) telling me what you enjoyed about it! Commenting and reblogging goes a long way to encouraging writers and fuelling future works!

[dykeulous]

“everyone can define their own womanhood the way they want to!” okay… fair. but why is it a problem when cis women define theirs as simple sex characteristics & body type? why is it such a problem when cis women say “i don’t have a particular feeling of a gender, i’m a woman just like a female dog/cat/lizard is”? why is she either called transphobic & offensive, or being told she’s actually an egg/non-binary/agender/whatever? why are we all allowed to define our womanhood/manhood, until those concepts mean nothing to certain people apart from their specific body type & the way they were born? it’s such a non-issue, it’s such a neutral & morally gray statement…… why are we getting all worked up & jumping to attack people who have different perceptions & experiences from us? we need to understand that not everyone is like us, and that it’s obvious that non-trans/non-dysphoric people won’t understand us. we are different. it’s okay to be different. people who are not like us aren’t being violent or offensive simply on the basis of not being like us. we have to get that in our heads or our movement will completely crumble.

[catinafigtree]

Hi, do you have any tips on how to be comfortable being a Muslim while being queer?

I've been trying to do that for a very long time, focusing on my faith in Allah, but it's a bit hard and I always get demotivated randomly :(

Hey! Salam! Sorry for the kind of late response, moving houses has been hectic. This will be a long response (sorry), so I will put it under the cut.

I want to preface this by saying every queer person is different. I don't know the specifics of your identity so I am going to cover both sexual queerness and gender queerness.

My biggest obstacle in nurturing my relationship with Allah was believing that the way I am was haram, and even that I was cursed by Allah. I no longer believe this, but it was a long road.

Sexuality

I don't believe that homosexuality is haram. The common claim that the story of Lut is about homosexuality is full of holes and inconsistencies and it's largely based on the Christian religious tradition, even if the grammar of the Qur'an doesn't align with the Christian tradition (eg. the Qur'an uses the word "banaat" for Prophet Lut's (as) daughters. Bannat is plural, meaning 3 or more daughters, and in the traditional telling Lut (as) has 2 daughters).

Here is a really good study by Nahida Nisa:

I recommend reading all of Nahida's things because she's an amazing writer.

And a video from Dr. Shehnaz Haqaani's (PhD, Islamic Studies) podcast "What The Patriarchy":

and you can find her blog here

These articles from the blog, Lamp of Islam are also pretty good. He is a hardcore Qur'anist with some strange opinions, so peruse his blog with caution.

Letting go of the belief that the way I am was haram and that Allah had cursed me was the most critical part of fixing my iman and overall nurturing my relationship with Allah.

Also, it doesn't make any sense that The All-Merciful, Allah would make someone with an innate attraction to the same gender and then forbid them from "acting on it".

The Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wa salam) never punished anyone for homosexuality, after his death, his companions debated whether or not to punish homosexuals and they could not come to a conclusion.

Gender

The Qur'an seems to acknowledge the differences between sex and gender. For example, the word for 'man' in the Qur'an is rijal and the word for 'male' is dhukran. And the word for 'woman' is nisa, but the word for 'female' is untsa. You can read Lamp of Islam's article on the meanings of these words here.

There also may be a vague reference to intersex and/or gender non-conforming people in verse 42:50.

There are also some hadith that seem to imply that gender non-conforming people were accepted around Prophet Muhammad (salla Allahu alayhi wa salam). Prophet Muhammad's (Salla Allahu alayhi wa salam) wife Umm Salama (Radi Allahu anha) had a seemingly close friend who was then called a 'mukhanath', named Hit, who was described as a 'male who exhibited effeminate traits' was was welcome into the private women's section of the Prophet's (Salla Allahu alayhi wa salam) home. Today this person might have been a gay man (who displayed effeminate traits by accepting the "woman's role" (🙄) in relationships), or, more likely IMO, this person would be considered a trans woman today.

Hit was punished by the Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wa salam), but not for their sexuality/gender expression, they were punished for describing a woman's body to a man, which was possible because they were allowed into both men's and women's spaces. The punishment of Hit is often used as 'evidence' to support homophobia and transphobia, but they neglect to mention the specific reason that Hit was punished.

You can read more about queerness in Islamic history here.

The link above takes you to Muslims For Progressive Values, they also offer marriage services for queer Muslims and interfaith couples, specifically for Muslim women seeking to marry non-Muslim men.

Here is a link to MPV's video series, but massive trigger warning for the comment section.

And a second MPV video series.

And another article from MPV.

More Tips

As I said, learning about LGBTQ Islamic History helped me a lot.

Keep your relationship with Allah between you and Him. Only share it with people who you 100% trust, because religion is extremely personal.

Find your people. Whether online or in-person, a community of people like you is important.

Know that Allah knows you, your identity, and the way you feel. Ultimately, Allah is your creator and we will only return to him. And we, as queer people KNOW that this is the way we were created. Nobody can tell you that who you are is false because they have no way to know that.

Block. Block. Block. Block. Block anyone who is being a problem, who might become a problem in the future. Block them all. Block Islamophobic queers, block queerphobic Muslims. Protect your peace and your relationship with Allah at all costs.

Here are people that I block quickly: anyone who has outwardly queerphobic or Islamophobic things posted on their page. Salafis and Wahabis. The black flag freaks: those with black flags in their user names/bios. I block people for the comments they leave all the time. Generally, I don't wait for them to do something, I block them on sight.

You mentioned that you struggle with low imaan sometimes. It's important to know that fluctuations of imaan are normal and completely natural. But I'm assuming since you've sent this ask, you always come back, which is what's important.

Here is another video from Dr. Shehnaz Haqaani's (PhD Islamic Studies) Podcast for Muslims who struggle to practice.

And a TikTok from @/soundous.boualam:

My biggest tip for building faith is to start slow.

Pray one prayer a day at first, and wait until that prayer is deeply ingrained into your habits, then add another. I recommend starting with Isha before bed. Don't try to do everything at once. You'll burn yourself out.

Build up the fard actions. Your prayers, primarily.

If you can take on more, add in the dhikr after prayer (subhanallah 33x, alhamdullilah 33x, and allahu akbar 34x). Or add dhikr in throughout your day. I use an app called Azkar that I set to send notifications to remind me to do various worship activities.

When I braid my hair I say alhamdullilah every time I cross a piece over another.

If you can, it might also help to put a poster or picture on your wall with your favorite Qur'an verse, hadith, or Islamic quote on your wall, or make your screensaver a reminder to remember Allah.

You can also buy or make a beaded tasbih bracelet, sometimes having something on your wrist can make it easier to remember.

I also like to spend 20-30 minutes every morning after Fajr to just spend time with Allah, talk to Him, and read the Qur'an.

But also remember that you don't only get rewarded for outright acts of worship. You get rewarded for caring for your body, taking a nap when you're tired, eating food, drinking water, caring for pets, and spending time with family. All of that stuff is worship.

Be easy with yourself. Allah does not want hardship for you (2:185).

And I'll leave you with a Qur'an verse.

It was We Who created man, and We know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him that [his] jugular vein. (50:16)

I hope this helps you some. I love you. Allah loves you. May Allah bless you with peace, imaan, and His abundant guidance and mercy, Allahumma Ameen.

You can ask questions in the comments or in asks if you want.