#she loved her in a platonic way that can certainly be confused with romantic love

[k-martins]

You know, Nobara saying that "it's horrible not being recognized by your high school crush" to Ozawa sounds a little personal to me after yesterday's episode. I can imagine her thinking this every time she thinks about meeting Saori, although she always ends up finding some excuse to never go.

[a-hazbin-reader]

alastor x reader where they already have kids and it connects with the headcanons about reader being insecure about their stretch marks but this time it's after she starts loving them and when they're alone, alastor is just like "how about we have another baby?" over and over again and reader constantly gets flustered because she/they knows what he wants to do

Alastor having MORE kids???

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Suggestive, Husband and wife are NOT properly communicating IMPORTANT topics

Description: ☝️⬆️

Being a mother was difficult but definitely rewarding, it was something you had wanted for so long and now you have it

All because of your wonderful husband who fought against the impossible just to make you happy

And you like to think that Alastor is happy with his life too, he certainly seems happy

Well, he's always smiling so..

He's always doting on his babies, practically beaming with pride at every little thing they do

And he doesn't neglect his duties as a husband either 😏

Your confidence is higher than ever and you're living out your dreams with Alastor by your side

You thought your husband would be content with two adorable babies, seeing as the second one was a surprise

Apparently not, he wanted more, your greedy husband

He springs the question on you while you two are alone, enjoying your uninterrupted time together

You barely have time to catch your breath before Alastor is kissing and biting at your neck

His claws scrape ever so slightly against your stomach, caressing your marks and reminding both of you of your miracle pregnancy

He pulls away to admire how disheveled you look now, the happy gleam in your eyes as you stare back at him

"Let's have another baby, darling~"

"What?"

He doesn't answer you, instead going back to kissing the life out of you and leaving your knees weak

The next day, you almost think you imagined it, wishful thinking and all that because Alastor is completely normal with you

You almost believe that all the way up until lunchtime with your babies, you're feeding and cooing at them when Alastor comes in

You can feel him watching you from the doorway as you try to get your little boy to take a few more bites of a new food

His sister is, of course, devouring her own food with no problem

Your husband slinks around behind you and wraps his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder

"Mm... they're such beautiful children, aren't they?"

You're so blissed out by the presence of your husband and children that you don't realize where he's going with this

His hands are creeping down to your stomach, rubbing soothing circles into your sides

"Wouldn't it be lovely if we had another one, my dear~?"

Before you can even turn around to ask him if he's serious, Alastor is picking up his daughter and cooing at her

You're left flustered and confused, picking up your son who was getting fussy

You go through weeks of this bizarre ambush tactic of his, your husband never just sitting you down and talking with you

You're in the shower? Alastor slips in, turns the heat up between you two then asks for another baby

You're cleaning up after your babies? Suddenly your husband is there doing all the work and helps you relax afterwards before bringing up more kids

You're not even safe when shopping with him, he brings you tiny baby socks and clothes while lamenting that the twins don't fit in clothes this size anymore

All his little tricks are starting to work on you though

You're definitely getting a second round of baby fever, especially whenever you bump into your husband

You honestly don't know who's jumping who at this point, you just know that you both simultaneously have decided you want another baby

Alastor has you blushing and following after him with just a look

You have him stumbling out of his pants to get to you with just a few curls of your finger

You put the babies down for a nap? Your husband is suddenly right there pulling you into the bedroom

You go into a closet for cleaning supplies? He's locking the door behind you both, and it's a suspiciously long time before you two walk out

Alastor is up in his radio tower? Guess who's strolling in and interrupting his show

Nobody is shocked to find out that you're pregnant again, you two haven't been subtle

But it would've been nice if you guys had asked the rest of them first-

GAH I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG-

[gardenschedule]

could you elaborate on your tags from that "writing about white walls" post?

I don't think this is a very unique take here but basically I believe that John was trying to achieve certain goals via Yoko's presence, and it was an intentional and purposeful disruption of the Lennon-Mccartney relationship. John, Yoko and Paul, as well as many fans and authors, treat this disruption as an inadvertent, inevitable side effect of the johnandyoko love story, that they were just so obsessed with each other Paul naturally got pushed to the side and it couldn't be helped, but I really think that was the whole damn point. I wouldn't go so far as to claim that was their point of J&Y's *relationship*, but I certainly think it was the reason John refused to physically separate from her while he was still active in the beatles.

I mean, the thing about John and Yoko is that their relationship was just kind of bizarre and confusing, right? You can, in fact, be in love and also be in separate rooms, you can have a job and a wife at the same time, you can have a creative partner and a romantic partner simultaneously. For some reason John couldn't, and the way he/Paul explain it is so weak and unsatisfactory. Like:

“. . . I mean, I think really what it was, really all that happened was that John fell in love. With Yoko. And so, with such a powerful alliance like that, it was difficult for him to still be seeing me. It was as if I was another girlfriend, almost. Our relationship was a strong relationship. And if he was to start a new relationship, he had to put this other one away. And I understood that. I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, “Who’s this?” You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and… But you know I mean in this case I just sort of said, right – I mean, I didn’t say anything, but I could see that was the way it was going to go, and that Yoko would be very sort of powerful for him. So um, we all had to get out the way.”

I mean, that shit is insane?? It makes no sense for a platonic partnership. For Mclennon shippers, it can be interpreted in a way that makes some sense. But the rest of the world can't make sense of it, so they latched onto blaming Yoko for decades. And while it's partially racism and misogyny, it's mostly because people intuitively know there's something really weird about the way things went down and the best explanation they can come up with is that she manipulated or bewitched John somehow. I don't think that's the case. John can be pretty gullible and he loves a guru, but he's not so delusional he wouldn't foresee the conflict and tension that being joined at the hip 24/7 and trying to bring her into the immediate beatles circle would cause. I don't believe he could be manipulated into thinking it would be tolerable or positive for the group. He would never have accepted another beatle doing the same thing, he acknowledged this himself:

JOHN: But I understand how they felt, because if it had been Paul or George and Ringo that had fallen in love with somebody and gotten totally involved, suddenly… It wasn’t like, you know, somebody – George coming in and saying, “I’m going to work with Eric Clapton in a band now, and screw you.” It wasn’t that kind of thing at all. It was just suddenly this involvement.

I think he knew perfectly well it would be received badly, but there were beneficial outcomes he hoped for. On that post I said it could be taken as both an aggressive or defensive move, I reckon it's probably a mix of both. It could be seen as a power grab. He's got himself an ally in the studio who will unconditionally support him, increased artistic credibility (notably in a type of art Paul was also into), the implicit threat that he doesn't need Paul or the group, the leverage that comes with needing the others less than they need him, and the ability to induce creative, professional and personal jealousy in Paul specifically. After all, that's exactly how Paul most effectively hurt John:

JOHN: [Paul] even recorded that all by himself in the other room, that’s how it was getting in those days. We came in and he’d – he’d made the whole record. Him drumming, him playing the piano, him singing. Just because – it was getting to be where he wanted to do it like that, but he couldn’t – couldn’t – maybe he couldn’t make the break from The Beatles, I don’t know what it was. But you know, I enjoyed the track. But we’re all, I’m sure – I can’t speak for George, but I was always hurt when he’d knock something off without… involving us, you know? But that’s just the way it was then.

On the other hand, John at the time was particularly vulnerable and sensitive. Yoko must have been a protective mechanism, a barrier between himself and the person most able to hurt his feelings and his confidence, she made him feel good about himself and his art. He may not have been able to cope with the pressure unless she was there to believe in him and create some distance between him and Paul, to give him some physical and emotional space from the intensity of their relationship and competitive rivalry. And if we put our tinfoil hats on, we can certainly speculate that showing off a shiny new partner is an effective way to deal with unreciprocated feelings or romantic/sexual rejection.

Truthfully, sometimes I feel like John wanted Paul to be badly hurt by this situation so much that he kind of convinced himself of it? I have a tonne of quotes about how Paul reacted to Yoko here, and one thing I notice is that John seems to exaggerate how much Paul hated her, and Yoko's a lot less accusing. That's not to say Paul wasn't jealous, but he clearly made efforts to hide it. We have evidence that Paul tried his best to be accepting and kind despite how negatively it affected him. He went out of his way to help and defend them on multiple occasions, and yet John still thinks that Paul was singing 'Get Back' to her directly or he can't stand them being in love or whatever. It seems almost like wishful thinking on his part, which makes perfect sense if you think his goal was to hurt Paul in the first place.

[finnbbl]

Hyunjin x M! Reader - Dancer AU | SMAU | Chapter 9

Ch. 9 - Where you wanna be | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter |

| Story Masterlist |

Written: Yes

Smau: Yes

A/N: I do want to clarify that this is in fact a slow burn. I find relationships more genuine when it’s friends to lovers rather than anything else so that’s the path i’m leading this down. I’ve made Y/N to be a very touchy feely person so I promise you any affection is highly platonic with him (for now) There will not be any romantic feelings until much later on.

Warnings: Swearing (i think that’s it, let me know if i missed anything )

You adjusted your hat and jacket in the bathroom mirror as your conversation with Hyunjin played over in your head. His text implied that the other members wanted to hang out with you, and for some reason that made your stomach churn. Not in a bad way, this whole touring with famous people was really new. Maybe that was it, it was hard to believe they wanted to be around you. But then again, you had heard that this group didn’t necessarily care about others’ fame. They loved their fans and the people they worked with dearly. Maybe you had just gotten used to the entitled artists you’d previously worked with.

You grabbed your phone and headed to the dressing room. As you made your way down the hallway, you noticed you had several texts from the group chat with the girls. As you opened it to respond, you felt a tap on your shoulder behind you. Causing you to turn your head to be met with a shorter female. You weren’t sure who she was exactly, you just knew her as one of the makeup artists. “Hey, so sorry to bother you…” She trailed off as you fully turned your body around to face her. “You’re Y/N right?” She knew your name? Hesitant, and slightly confused, you nodded. “Oh great, I wanted to say you’re one of my favorite dancers, I’ve been watching your videos on social media for a while now. Can I have a photo?” She held her phone to her chest as she shyly asked. A photo? Someone wants a photo from you? It certainly caught you off guard, and left you stunned and speechless. So much you didn’t hear the dressing room door open behind you. “I mean unless it makes you uncomfortable-“

Seeing the girl’s demeanor change snapped you back into your senses. “Oh, no no not at all. Sorry It just caught me off guard.” A nervous laugh led your voice as you slipped your phone into your pocket. “We can take a photo, I don’t mind.” A genuine smile fell on your face as you stood next to her, leaning down to fit into frame. After snapping the selfie, she proceeded to thank you before heading towards the exit. You froze for a moment, there’s no way that just happened. You just couldn’t understand how someone would want a photo with you, you weren’t famous at all.

“Oh someone’s a little popular huh?” The sudden voice behind you startled you as you turned around. Turns out the dressing room door did open, because all eight of the boys stood in front of you. “No, not really.” You responded to Hyunjin with a small chuckle. “I thought you guys were waiting in there?”

“Yeah but they kicked us out, here’s your bag.” He responded as you walked closer to them. You reached out to grab it, muttering a small thank you to him. Bang Chan, as the leader, began giving out instructions to his group. Telling them to stay together and not wonder off by themselves. It was very obvious he care deeply about his members and their safety. Everyone began walking and making small talk along the way. You started to feel very awkward and out of place, and stayed rather quiet as the 9 of you made your way to the exit doors. Chan must’ve noticed, cause then he started talking to you and including you in the conversations. “You know, you did really good tonight.” This caught you a bit off guard, it was a rather random statement. “I mean.. All I did was do my job.” You started with a light chuckle. “No, I mean off stage. You were very patient and calm unlike the other ones.” The leader stated with an eye roll. He wasn’t wrong, the other dancers seemed really obnoxious. Maybe this is what Hyunjin meant earlier.

“I almost punched one of them earlier.” You added with a scoff, earning a mischevious chuckle from someone behind you. “Do it next time, I didn’t see a thing.” You turned your head around to see that it was Minho who said it. He stated it playfully, as he pretended to look around in order to add effect to his statement. The entire group started to laugh before Bang Chan chimed in once again. “As much as I’d like to see that, don’t. You’ll lose your job.” He ended his sentence with a teasing chuckle as you all neared the buses. Your feet paused as you were the last one in line to get on, behind Hyunjin. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to get on the bus with you guys..?” It made you nervous, you didn’t want to get in trouble or get anyone else in trouble. “For the last time, yes.” The blonde male grabbed your arm and started to pull you up the steps of the bus.

“Okay okay damn bro.” You yanked your arm back from his rather tight grip, “i oughta punch you after that.” Seething your teeth in slight pain, rushing him to his seat so you weren’t in the middle of the aisle. Your only worry was about someone else seeing you get on the bus with them. Rumors start rather fast. And with the way these entitled dancers acted, you wouldn’t be surprised if they started drama or made a huge deal about it. You sat down next to Hyunjin, across the aisle from Bang Chan and Felix. Everyone engrossed themselves in conversations along the way. And you seemed to be able to participate in them a lot better now.

It turns out, chan and you had actually had a lot in common. Something else that Hyunjin was right about, you and him definitely did get along. You had very similar likes and interests and it wasn’t long before the entire group had felt like your friends. At first you weren’t sure, but you definitely knew this is where you wanted to be. This is how you wanted it to be.

Taglist: @silverstarburst @virluna148 @galaxycatdrawz @onementally-unstabel-kid @uso-dakedo

[angelfleurry]

Toko catching feelings plz 👉👈

♡ Toko Fukawa Catching Feelings!! ♡

Ask and you shall receive, Anon!! I hope these are okay and that I did Toko’s character well enough!

~

♡ “W-what…?!”

♡ Poor Toko’s such a mess.

♡ She definitely locks herself in her bedroom, probably won’t emerge for days unless someone (most likely you) goes to check on her.

♡ You’re so lovely to her, it’s…weird.

♡ She’s in disbelief at how someone would want to spend time with her, and how you’re not just looking for something from her.

♡ What that something is, she’s not sure of, but when she first got to know you, your kindness towards her threw her off guard.

♡ She actually didn’t like you at first, not even platonically.

♡ She thought you were being fake, that you weren’t actually as nice as you seemed, and so she decided she just couldn’t stand you.

♡ She wondered why Komaru was even your friend at all. Surely she could sense the lies too, right?

♡ Yet, for some reason, you kept persisting.

♡ You’d always try to involve her in things, always smile when you saw her, always try to talk to her, even when she was in her most foulest of moods.

♡ Eventually (and rather reluctantly), Toko came to the realisation that maybe you *were* just as kind as you presented yourself to be.

♡ She didn’t quite understand why you were doing the things you were doing.

♡ In her opinion, you shouldn’t even bother. Just leave her alone.

♡ But, she would be lying if she said she didn’t start to enjoy your attention.

♡ She started tolerating you, slowly building an internal fondness.

♡ Eventually, that tolerance became full-blown adoration.

♡ She didn’t realise it for a little while, until she was writing part of a new story and it hit her…

♡ Cue the mortified realisation.

♡ It feels almost…wrong for her to care for someone as sweet as you.

♡ Toko’s nearly there in terms of accepting that you genuinely care for her, and that you don’t have some ulterior motive, but…it confuses her.

♡ For all the work of her romantic novels, she certainly didn’t realise how strong these feelings would actually be.

♡ It’s a nightmare, but a lovely one.

♡ All of her judgement of you from the start seems to have morphed into protectiveness.

♡ Syo’s rather fond of you too. She takes the mick, but she’s fond.

♡ Toko stumbles into panic mode once she realises her feelings.

♡ She’s obsessive, but in a weirdly shy way.

♡ It’s been made apparent of how she used to be with a certain affluent prodigy, but the way she acts now is certainly different.

♡ Toko lurks beside you, never too close, but never too far. She’s got her eye on you, but not directly so.

♡ These newfound feelings make Toko want to be close to you, constantly.

♡ During the days in which she locked herself away, Toko was either writing or hyperventilating; no in-between.

♡ All her works were centred around her feelings, a miraculous myriad of despaired affection for you - never directly named.

♡ Is debating whether to show you or not.

♡ Can’t hold eye contact with you. She looks at you for a second and that’s all she can manage.

♡ Her face is always somewhat red when she’s around you, even moreso when you’re talking.

♡ She’s not completely subtle, but she’s also not obvious.

♡ Toko gets very defensive about you to anyone, even Komaru. Say one thing that sounds slightly less than positive and she’s on it. She’s defending your honour, even if it doesn’t need to be done.

♡ She also just giggles about you constantly.

♡ You make her dizzy, so incredibly dizzy. She can’t even spend a minute with you without feeling as if she may pass out.

♡ Her compliments to you are very…interesting.

♡ They’re always said with some snarky hint, or some exhausted sigh, but also with some strange touch of warmth that makes it hard to determine whether she’s being genuine or not.

♡ She is. She loves you, and it’s weird to her, but she does.

♡ It’s very difficult for Toko to navigate these feelings, even to herself.

♡ She’s got so many words to use, but she can’t find any that are appropriate to fully describe her emotions.

♡ All she wants to do is hold you, or have you hold her, but at the same time…oh good gosh it’s so confusing!

♡ She just wants your affection, your approval, she just wants to have your energy in her life always!!

♡ She’s definitely a daydreamer.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Dancing With Visions - Morale - Cha-Cha - Gorou

Author Notes: Yet another Latin dance. This was actually my first time writing Gorou, but I don't think it turned out to bad. The performance in this fic was inspired by Nick Carter and Sharna Burgess’s Cha Cha to “I Don’t Like it, I Love it” by Flo Rida feat. Robin Thicke and Verdine White from season 21 week 1 of “Dancing with the Stars.” Just like the rest of this series, Reader is female. I hope you enjoy!

If you would like to read more of this series, the fics can be found here: Dancing with Visions Masterlist.

Type: Female reader/ dance/ fluff/platonic or romantic /sfw

Word Count: 1461

I almost pitied Gorou, but Kokomi had certainly gotten him this time. But I couldn’t blame the young woman. It had to be exhausting to be constantly asked for advice, and she had to have her fun somehow. So when Gorou had come asking for advice on how to bolster the troops morale, she’d seen her chance.

Telling him that performing a dance for the troops would boost morale and further asserting that learning said dance could be useful for strength and agility training was no doubt a bit of fun on her part. Especially since she knew I'd be perfectly willing to help the fluffy general with his plight as soon as he came requesting my help.

It had been endearing how focused he’d been during every single practice too. He’d given learning the cha-cha his all, and I had no doubts he’d do well now that it was time for us to perform. With that said, though, it was perfectly obvious that Gorou was feeling the pressure now.

Pressure, that no doubt came from the simple fact that Kokomi had been right. The very knowledge that their beloved general was going to be performing a dance had already pepped up the soldiers.

I let my hand rest lightly on his shoulder, smiling as Gorou looked over at me, slightly surprised with pricked ears, before he smiled in return when he noticed it was just me. 

“Nervous?” I questioned him softly, already knowing the answer even as I tilted my head at him.

He chuckled slightly at my one-word question before nodding, “Yeah, I guess I am. I don’t want to let anybody down, though. You included. You spent a lot of time teaching me.”

 I smiled at his earnest words, shaking my head fondly even though I was touched, “You won’t let me down, Gorou. You won’t let anyone down, no matter how the performance goes. What matters is that you're stepping forward and giving this an honest shot.”

He nodded again, smiling to himself all the while, “Thanks, but I still don’t want to do poorly.”

I sighed slightly, not entirely surprised by his words. I’d already seen how driven he was just from how determined he’d been throughout his lessons. He probably wasn’t entirely willing to accept the idea of doing poorly now.

I shifted closer, though, and bumped him lightly with my shoulder. And that was all it took to pull him from his own nervous thoughts and cause him to look my way as I spoke quietly, “You know how Lady Kokomi told you that your fatal flaw is getting too engrossed in battle?”

I eyed him closely as he looked back my way, frowning slightly before he nodded, “Of course I do. I take all of Her Excellency’s advice seriously.”

I nodded, looking away from him and at the stage set up for us, “You do that in dancing too. You get engrossed in your performance, determined to do your best every time. The difference here is that you can use that as a strength.”

I smiled back over at him, half-chuckling at his confused expression before I continued, “If you let yourself get engrossed in the dance, you’ll be able to dance freely without your nerves getting to you, and I guarantee you’ll do well.”

He was frowning, glancing side to side as if he were checking if anyone was listening before he looked back at me in an almost cautious fashion, “Really?”

I smiled at him, relaxed as I nodded in response, because I really was confident in him. Gorou had done wonderfully throughout his lessons and our practice. I had every faith that he could pull off one dance performance successfully, just like how he always returned, victorious, from battle.

He perked up, his ears twitching slightly as he smiled at me before he gave me a quick nod of his head, “Alright. I’ll trust you then.”

And with those words, he straightened, causing me to smile as we both took off. Both of us walking out onto the platform with him to the applause of Sangonomiya’s troops.

We entered our poses behind the screen that would have us silhouetted until it was removed. Me with one hip out to the side and my hands behind my head and him with his legs crossed, one leg kicked out as he leaned to the side and away from me.

He moved to the music first. Matching the beat with energetic steps that carried him towards me before he stopped and pointed my way right as I shifted. And then we both launched into motion, mirroring one another’s steps and pointing towards one another right as the screen was pulled up. Parting in the middle and revealing the two of us smiling at one another to the soldier who loudly applauded. Already cheering on their general as Kokomi clapped politely with a brilliant smile on her face.

Gorou reached out, taking my hand lightly in his and twirling me across the floor until I stopped in front of him. His hands clasping my waist as we both sashayed rhythmically.

It was amusing now to think back on how embarrassed Gorou had been by such motions when we’d first started dancing. By now he was used to them, and barely even hesitated, even with the thunderous applause that almost drowned out our music.

And while it was true that his motions weren’t perfect by any means, they were just fine and perfectly respectable for someone who’d only just learned how to dance the cha-cha.

We parted, smiling as we slid across the floor together. Perfectly matching one another even though we weren’t even holding hands as we danced together.

The beat of the music picked up, and I danced backwards, using the short, lively steps of the cha-cha to retreat away from Gorou, who danced towards me. A smile on his face that made the very idea of him being nervous mere moments ago seem ridiculous, save for the fact I’d been by his side this entire time.

He spun, holding out his hand in a silent request that I accepted with a grin as he spun me across the floor in front of him so that we were side by side once more and stepping lightly across the stage.

He let go of my hand as we continued to dance. Both of us reaching out and tracing our hands up the other’s shoulders and over to their chin as we leaned towards each other. Perfectly comfortable with one another after having practiced for so long together.

I turned, smiling out at the crowd as I danced away from him, half laughing at the way he followed along behind me. Ready and waiting with his hand held up for me to take as soon as I spun back to look at him.

Our hands locked together as we slid, sashaying to the side and grinning at each other. We parted though, spinning to look back at the crowd as we stepped together to the beat.

Without even having to glance at the other, we reached out. Our hands linking together once more as we spun first to face each other, then back out to look at the crowd, and repeat. 

We twirled together, our motions syncing so that we could both reach out to the other one without having to worry that they wouldn’t be there.  

My hands cupping his face and his hands rested lightly on my hips as soon as our rotations ended before we stepped, almost immediately, apart. Leaving us so that we were joined only by our hands that seemed to find one another on instinct.

He pulled me across the floor in front of him before letting go of me. Leaving me to twirl freely across the stage before I came to a stop. Looking at him as he ran, dropped to his knees, and slid over to where I waited. 

I looked down at him as he clasped my waist, looking up at me from his position on his knees with a smile as I laughed, reaching down and cupping his face with my hands.

I found myself bending slightly as he shifted, starting to stand as we both laughed, “See? You did great!” 

He nodded, stepped to his feet, and continued to laugh slightly as we both turned to face the crowd of soldiers whose morale had most certainly been boosted.

And as we bowed, I could honestly say that I suspected that it wasn’t just the troops whose moods had improved. Judging from the smile on Gorou’s face and the way his hand clasped mine tightly, I was almost positive that his mood was also soaring.

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[bookwyrminspiration]

Sotam headcanons please? Platonic or romantic whichever you prefer atm. I just love them haha

I love them too! Their dynamic is among my favorites of the series. I tend to be more canon adherent, but I can certainly try my hand at headcanons!

They've talked via shadowwhispering and telepathy so much that at this point they can near seamlessly read each other's faces

Entire conversations via facial expression without a word passing between them. It drives Keefe mad

Their height difference is perfect for Tam to rest his arm on her shoulder, or his chin on her head. Sophie's indignant about it at first, but has softened with time

What hasn't softened is their humor. It only gets more sarcastic and teasing with time. Everyone else they know always tells them off for their brand of dark humor, so they fully indulge each other

This is sometimes done via facial expression

They frequently do homework together, partially because Tam despises it and Sophie is trying to be a good role model so he has a good reputation with his teachers and the grades they give will be in his favor. Homework's worth is an ongoing debate between them, Sophie's argument being that the fact he's at Foxfire at all after everything is incredible, so he shouldn't waste it

Tam's argument is that homework sucks

He's winning the debate, Sophie just refuses to admit she's wrong

They're the first person the other hails in the middle of the night when they can't sleep. They're more likely than anyone else to still be awake, and they long ago stopped feeling bad that they might wake the other

Those late night hails are something between just the two of them. They can talk about anything and everything, no judgement, no expectations, no regrets

Sometimes those hails end in late night visits, going to one house or the other to sit in quiet comfort, or to continue their conversation face to face

Maybe instead of a house, they'll end up somewhere outside. A beach, a mountainside, a forest, a meadow, anywhere in the world where they can be alone and forget about their troubles

It always a little easier to sleep after they've talked, or visited. Though it can be confusing to their parents when they wake and find an extra kid in the house, but they never have the heart to mind

I'll stop there, but these can be interpreted as any kind of relationship. They're have other people and supports in their life, but they occupy a certain kind of dark, secret content space. They rely on each other, support each other, make each other worse (in a good way). They're so so special to me <3

[just-otter-thoughts]

One of my reasons to think I might be trans is that, every single masculine feature I'd like to have, I'm attracted to.

I have been a bald man with a beard, I'm attracted to that. I wanna be muscular, I'm attracted to that. I love being hairy, I'm attracted to that. I like how deep my voice can get, I'm attracted to that.

So, like, do I wanna be those things? Or do I think that I should aspire to have those qualities just because I think they're attractive, but what I really wanna be is something else?

But would I feel better if I were hairless and had boobs? That's not even necessary to be a woman, but like, we're doing things commonly associated with masculinity so let's do things commonly associated with femininity too. What if I were hairless and had boobs and had long hair? What if my voice were higher? Would I feel happier?

Do I even feel happy like this? It serves me well. But what kills me is that I can't answer the former question. I don't know if I would be happier as a girl because I haven't really tried it. When I went by a feminine name and she/her pronouns, I didn't like it, but I wonder if that's just because he/him and male names feels like home? If they feel like home, does that automatically mean I'm a man?

I also feel really connected to the gay label. I'm not a straight girl. I fought tooth and nail to get to where I am now and call myself a gay man. But does that only mean I don't want to let go of it specifically because of the hardships I've had to endure to be able to do that, and not that that's actually what I am?

I've never really questioned what I was. It was always clear to me right from the get-go that I was gay. What my parents told me at first, that I could be confusing really wanting to be friends with guys with wanting to date them, I actually did with girls as a small child. I had a girlfriend in, like, pre-1st grade, but all we did was talk (though of course that's mostly what children our age would do). I had "crushes" on girls up until 7th grade, when I first came out, and I know the feeling is different because that very year I had a crush on a guy that would last 4 years. The feeling is different, it's a different color.

So if I think about feelings of gender the same way I think about feelings of platonic and romantic attraction, in that they're different colors, then being masculine is a different color from being feminine. When I put makeup on, I love it, and it's a feeling of a different color than when I "put a beard on" (grow it). I feel good with both, but I already understand that I can have qualities of both, what I really wonder is the permanent aesthetics of "man" and "woman".

Makeup as a guy feels great, even if just eyeliner. The closest to drag I've ever done was a full face while I had shaved, and that felt great, but it wasn't exactly something I wanted to go back to every day... or was it? I remember really wanting to do makeup (just on myself). At the time, to me, that meant nothing about gender, but that's just cause I hadn't even realized I could be a gender other than the one I already had.

Which was enforced upon me when I deviated from the norms as a child, until I learned to love it. I remember wanting to get rid of my body hair when I started getting it, until I learned to love it and until I started finding it attractive.

I think what I find attractive and what I want to be is a Venn diagram of two sets, with a non-small overlap. For example, like anyone who consumes pornography, especially of the gay variety, I think hairless hugely muscular guys with short hair are attractive, I'm not going to lie. But I don't wanna be that at all. I wanna be a mildly big otter, which I also think is attractive.

There's also the fact that, while I'm certainly not the most "anything goes" when it comes to being attracted to all types of men, I like to think it's pretty broad. So obviously what I want to be and what I'm attracted to will overlap.

I don't know. I feel like I always have this questioning about myself, and every time I try to rationalize it I end up deciding I'm just a guy, but then I keep thinking, almost like it's intrusive thoughts, that I'm actually an egg and that my true self is a woman. Even though I'm perfectly happy like this.

[piracytheorist]

Anyway so if you ship Dami/anya and are sensitive about it you might wanna skip this post.

Now I don't know who this will help, it will certainly help me, but it may, idk, speak to some people who share my opinion and are tired of all the constant shipping. Maybe it's only me. Idk. My blog my rules. Block me if you will and I don't mean that ironically.

So yeah look people will ship what they wanna ship and that's okay. I'm just saying that sometimes when you're an outsider (aka aroace who didn't ship her first ship until she was 21 years old) you can see... some patterns.

And shipping this ship screams of amatonormativity and compulsory heterosexuality to me. Like when some people see two toddlers, a boy and a girl, playing together and they immediately go like "aw they're boyfriend and girlfriend!" which like. 99,9% of those people have pure intentions and thoughts about it but still. The fact that you see two toddlers interact and your immediate thought is to connect their interactions to something sexually active adults do, just because said toddlers are of the opposite gender, is exactly what amatonormativity is about.

Amatonormativity is about how the only way for someone to prosper and be happy is with a romantic partner. Other relationships they may have don't matter, their personal success and growth don't matter; if they don't have a romantic partner then they're "sad" and "unfulfilled". And growing up with this makes us cling onto the tiniest possibility of where romantic relationships can happen, and yes, leads us to see two toddlers of opposite genders and say "They're a couple!" Yes it's a joke. Yes it has good intentions. But the toddlers themselves don't follow your rules. They have no concept of romance. They just see a human their age, who is as willing and energetic for play as they are, and they cling to them because they've found a person who "communicates" in the same way. Amatonormativity is when you take that, a connection between two people and, no matter the context, you interpret it as romantic (or potentially romantic). Because god forbid anyone is happy with only platonic partners, right.

Similarly with compulsory heterosexuality, where heterosexuality is considered the norm and natural instinct of humans. It leads us to prioritizing hetero romance above all else. It leads us to seeing two characters of the opposite gender and focus only on how a romantic relationship between them can work, and only that. Nothing else.

As I said, I'm aroace, and even though I didn't realize that until less than ten years ago, I was always confused, always, since my pre-teen years even, about why there was so much romance in media, and when I entered fandom spaces I was very overwhelmed with how much people did the shipping stuff. I still don't connect with it very much but at least now I'm used to it and expect it.

So yeah. I don't think there's anything creepy or wrong with shipping this ship. But the way so many people lean to doing that says something about how our society conditions us to only have one way of thinking, the "right" way of thinking.

But Nette!, I hear you say. What about shipping twiyor? Doesn't that fall under the same circumstances? They clearly establish their relationship as one without romantic interests involved, yet look at the swarms of people shipping them!

And to that I say yes, it does. Again, I'm aroace and didn't actually ship my first ship until I was 21. You have no idea how much obsession with romance I see around me and go like that vine of "Can I please get a waffle?"

But I am a blogger that focuses a lot on narrative, and I love understanding what the author wants to tell me. I like it so much that I'll consume a bigoted piece of media just to understand how the author's bigotry works. That's how much I like understanding Author's Intent and use of narrative.

I'm not saying what I do is right, or the "best" option. It's just how I work, and that this, along with being aroace, gives me a wholly different and "outsider" perspective.

And Twiyor growing romantic feelings for each other? It can provide something to the narrative. From the very beginning they were already in a phase of working together as platonic roommates, because of how kind Yor is and how adaptable Twilight is. They reached the "mutual respect" point almost immediately. But Yor is also socially inexperienced and Twilight is also emotionally constipated. Having them grow romantic feelings for each other can provide something on par with Spy x Family: humor! Because none of them know what it feels like to be in love, and those feelings can develop while they're under layers of denial, for different reasons for each character. With Yor feeling insecure and Twilight having zero self-consciousness, it can actually make for some humor where the audience will know and the characters will not. And that can be fun! And eventually, when they do recognize their feelings, it can be a step of them knowing themselves better. All that can add layers to the romance and not do it just for the sake of romance.

That is, they don't have to become a couple to make their characters complete by the end of the story. Though it would be interesting to see how they handle the identity reveals if they come after they've developed romantic feelings, how Yor will handle physical intimacy within a romantic setting, seeing how her instinctual move upon physical proximity is to beat the other person into another dimension, and how Twilight will handle a romantic relationship that he for the first time is emotionally invested in after having faked such relationships for his missions.

Now, for the other ship (that I don't mention by name simply because I don't want this post ending up in search results and their shippers being exposed to something they most likely won't like), they're both too young to even comprehend the concept of romance - Damian has a school crush. That's all. I had one too in his age. Didn't develop into anything deeper than wanting to spend more time with the classmate in question. It cannot develop into anything deeper because six-year-old brains are naturally incapable of that. Most of what creates romantic feelings are hormones, in other words, your hormones liking another person's hormones. And six-year-olds do not produce such hormones, nor have developed receptors to analyze such hormones around them, so romance is simply naturally impossible for them. Not even mentioning sexual activity here.

So we're not talking about actual romance here. We're just talking about a 6yo boy developing fond feelings for a fellow 6yo girl. Feelings which he fights because said girl defied him and he's not used to being defied. Neglected and ignored, yes, but not defied, especially from someone whom he considers less important than him.

And while that gives him character, he's still part of the narrative. And the narrative doesn't focus on him! He's just a recurring character. The narrative focuses on Anya, and by putting her against a character who is fighting his feelings for her and ends up bullying her harder for that is not for romance; it's to provide conflict.

Stories where the characters achieve their goals easily without any obstacles are not interesting. We want our characters to face difficulties because those can help the characters grow and develop, express their feelings, prove how resourceful and adaptable they are, etc etc. It's what the matter of conflict in stories is about. Damian liking Anya creates conflict for him, and him existing in the story as he does creates conflict for her. He's literally there to make Anya grow as a character, not as a source of support, but as a source of conflict.

Let me elaborate on that: Anya has to approach Damian for the sake of the mission. In multiple cases she's shown a refusal to do so because he's mean to her and she'd rather spend time with someone who treats her well, aka Becky. Ironically, Damian growing feelings for her makes it harder for her to approach him, because he's ashamed that he has a crush on a girl of a lower class, and even more so a girl who punched and defied him. And because of that, he ends up treating Anya worse than he would be if he didn't have a crush on her. If he didn't have those feelings he would just be a decorative brat that would either ignore Anya completely or consider her pathetic for how hard she would try to approach him. Not a very interesting plot line, nor an interesting character. The "romance" there is what makes Damian layered, more relevant and interesting for the story.

As for Anya, as I said, this "romance" gives her external conflict and nothing more. She doesn't like Damian and would rather not approach him, but feels she has to to complete her "mission". And as of where the anime stands, any of her attempts towards that have led to her being insulted by Damian but progressing the mission even slightly. Her punching Damian gave Twilight a conversation starter with Donovan, and her challenging Damian to go meet his father resulted in Twilight meeting with him as well. She just had to operate under difficult circumstances because of Damian's treatment of her, but it's that that makes for an interesting story.

And so it can be very telling when people ignore all that narrative importance and focus on "But romance tho!"

Not saying it's bad or wrong. Just influenced by amatonormativity, as I said above. No-one to blame in this but the patriarchy. In this blog we fight the patriarchy by not shipping a ship the author doesn't want us to ship. W for liberation.

Yeah jokes aside I do find it an interesting way fandom works. I mean it's still a result of a toxic and harmful mentality that conservatism and patriarchy inflict upon us, but it's telling how it can influence even the way we enjoy fictional stories and what we prioritize on them when doing so, often even ignoring what the author wants to tell us.

[so-long-soldier28]

if you could omit a storyline from the tvd show. which one would it be and why???

okay to complete this ask, i had to recall the main storylines from each season. this is what i produced. i will stick that below along with my decisions and thought processes.

also, i say it in the notes, but if this form of answering asks is too chaotic, i can switch back to the neat paragraph format i used in the avengers x kai post. i can cut out my gibberish and actually capitalize my sentences again 😅 just let me know which you prefer!

no tw except for spoilers all the way to season 8

the seasons & their storylines

1 - damon + kath / tomb

2 - stefan being a dick (+ wolves)

3 - mikaelsons

4 - shane + cure

5 - silas + travelers

6 - kai + geminis

7 - heretics + rayna cruz

8 - fucking sirens + stupid donovan family reunion

now... to judge them all and remove one...

alright… tbh, it took me way too long to remember the second villian of s7, because post-lily, my mind went blank

then it went, ah, yes, that stupid hunter storyline

and then i immediately selected that one bc i hated watching bonnie get abused again

this storyline was so stupid; the seven year time jump was so confusing

we were also given NO CONTEXT and MINOR HISTORY into bonnie and enzo's THREE YEAR RELATIONSHIP

like i love both these characters, but them together came out of nowhere

also… damon caring so little for enzo and vice versa in seasons 7 & 8 after all the history they had together PISSED ME OFF SO BAD, like they don't care for each other at all?? not even romantically, just platonic care / trauma bond, NOTHING?

anyway that's aside the point

i loved early season 7

nora, val, and mary louise were funny; matt being angry all the time was funny; bonnie and damon coming back from europe and immediately killing a heretic was funny

bonnie had so much sass in this season

but then plec had to drive her underground again with the magic pills & nearly killing her & all that shit

and i liked rayna, to some extent; she was pretty cool

but there was no reason to drag bonnie in the mix and make her kill her friends just because she took some stupid pills, just because some relative of enzo wanted her to open a vault

that st. john stuff was insanity; i still don't understand it

i don't think the characters did either; probably not the actors, either

i also don't like that the rayna storyline killed off nora and ML, like, let the lesbian heretics live, fuck off julie plec

and bonnie and nora should've had a fling but that's a different story

so yeah… the 7 years into the future storyline + hunters is the storyline i would erase

also… i don't know why caroline kept showing up with blood on her face and ranting about stefan, like, i was genuinely confused

it kept reminding me of season 2 when damon dated that newscaster but then stefan killed her.. or whatever happened...

anyway, let's take a look at a close contender… season 8 - donovans

why… the fuck… did the donovans have to have a family reunion?

i do not care about his dad, i do not care about his mom, i do not care about vicki, i don't care about matt, and i certainly don't care to see them all in one place

matt only survived bc zach and julie plec were hooking up i stg

this man and his whole family are weak links

the sirens didn't bother me all that much, compared to the donovans fucking existence

i actually liked seline, ish

[unless i just liked the actress bc she's in that containment series so i associate her with chris 💀]

but i liked that she was playing games with alaric

i think she and kai would get along well… fucking with alaric, nearly killing twins… plus his comment about wanting to fuck hot cannibals…

this post isn't about kai moving on

the sirens were hella annoying at first and i hated them, but as soon as they released damon & enzo, i started to like them

then they died

speaking of death, stefan's death was so stupid

i have a lot to say about that but that's for a different time

kelly ruining steroline wedding was so stupid

gtfo woman

another contender… the stupid travelers of season 5

what tf was happening bc i genuinely don't know

i have no idea what happened when tyler was possessed

i don't even know what to say bc i was so lost the entire time

but i wouldn't omit the storyline bc the spell that eradicated them is what kai sucked up later

and then he became all hot & dangerous

but where did they go after the spell kept them out??

where did they come from, where did they go??

i liked liv & luke, they were both grumpy & slightly dickish

the travelers shit introduced them so that's cool... bc they had to stop the dopplegangers or something, i have no idea

liv has a vendetta against life for no reason. she's just so angry

she doesn't even remember the Great Sibling Slaughter of 1994, she was 4. why are you so bitter, liv?

we'll never know ig

idk tho living with joshua parker post-1994 doesn't seem fun. doesn't seem fun pre-1994, but i feel he'd be even 10x angrier after, so maybe it's just the childhood trauma. sorry, liv

also i might've shipped her with bonnie just a little bit… just a smidge… thought bon would be real cute with another witch

aside the point

stefan's dopplegangers were great… i like both of them more than i like stefan

but the kill the dopplegangers thing was confusing and if not for early s5 with silas & quetsiyah + blonde twins in later parts, i would hate s5

other seasons' notes

season 4... i hated shane bc he was creepy, but i found it funny that bonnie was so into him. damon was so perturbed at this

oH! not a storyline, but omit them killing kol bc fuck elena. that's my other man

but i know why they did it

and i adored davina bringing him back

so ig not omit, but fuck them for killing him, especially for their own personal gain

kol died so that jeremy could dramatically yell while ripping off his shirt

season 2... so i just remembered that s2 was more than just a precursor to klaus / middle part elijah; it also had wolves

i forgot about them initially, bc i don't care about most the wolves

tyler, i have so many mixed emotions; hayley, hated in tvd, liked in s1-2 of the orginals, didn't care for her later on; mason, nice to look at, don't care about him; jewel, or jade, idk, blonde girl that was looking for mason and found tyler, hated her; the random apperance of stephen amell… gtfo off my screen

wouldn't omit the wolves bc they had a point (ish) and grew the show, but i just don't care

not to say i don't like werewolves bc i fucking love the werewolves (cough twilight cough) but i don't care for the tvd wolves - the originals included, fuck off jackson

that was mean… he was a good man, good husband… i just don't care, i'm sorry

oliver was way worse, let's focus on him instead. he can fuck off; jackson can stay

so yeah, the hunter curse thing in s7 needs to go

unless you're kai and there's sexual tension involved & you're mutually causing each other pain, don't hurt bonnie

the magic pills were confusing, don't hurt my lesbian heretics, either

st. john stuff made no sense; probably just an introduction to the armory so alaric could feel important again

one final note

i hate that the beautiful salvatore mansion was turned into a school for weasel-y children to destroy

children are messy, that thing's an antique

i hate alaric

oh, i know i also made a post about wishing kai didn't kill jo so that alaric wouldn't have feelings for caroline, but i don't know if i fully stand by that post

as much as i wanted kai to have a redemption arc, him being a heretic was fun (while it lasted)

if they were dedicated towards keeping kai alive (therefore omiting his death storyline), he'd be a great time

i can see him and damon becoming buddies & being absolute menaces together

damon fights it sooo hard at first, but can't help wanting to dive into kai's bad influence

he makes vampirism feel like vampirism again… raising hell and not being afraid to be the bad guy

while simultaneously getting bad looks from all his friends and promising he's trying to be kai's good influence, but we all know he's not trying that hard

jo would survive and raise her twins with her creepy husband

she'd live in fear of kai coming after her kids any given day, but would try to ignore the thought

maybe they move away & free us from ric for good

but while this sounds really fun, i don't know where the story would go from there

kai would definitely get stuck under lily's control with the rest of the heretics & he'd have a big fucking fit about it

if enzo got with bonnie with kai still alive, that would be ugly

he would totally fuck a siren… and then help them kill the twins

but…

him killing jo & raising absolute hell was very fun & i loved it

his sudden return in s8, effectively pissing off damon & ric was hilarious

loved that he got back & immediately killed a grill employee

just like old times

i really wished they didn't kill him off, but i did like his pop-up later on

so… the storyline I would omit:

hunters. as explained.

back-up omissions:

kai death

stupid legacies

[girl4music]

The person you’re dating doesn’t identify as a male or a female? Use gender neutral terms of endearment to refer to them by or as when talking about them and your relationship to them/their relationship to you so you can avoid ‘girlfriend/boyfriend’ and ‘wife/husband’ or anything with a ‘man/male’ or ‘woman/female’ as part of it. (Note: This is a lot more difficult than you think if they’re in a job position where there is traditionally a role with those gendered terms in it. I work as a ward hostess in a hospital and that is the official name of the job role. So you can just imagine how they’d have to accommodate for just a male worker alone, never mind a worker that doesn’t identify as either male or female. They could use “host” I guess but that’s still not very inclusive, is it?)

Some of the most common ones are:

Partner

Significant other

Lover

It depends on the depth of the relationship between you and them I guess. If it’s just starting out but is established enough for many people to know about you and them: “My honey” is a good one to use.

Married to them? Spouse. Marital partner.

Just engaged to them? Fiancé. Betrothed. Intended.

Some personal favourites of mine but I never see anybody really use them because of how intimate they are. You can thank Xena for most of these terms: My person. My home. My love. My entire heart. My source. My soulmate. My everything. My whole life.

Both Xena and Gabrielle identified as female and yet not once did they refer to each other in binary terms. And the fanfiction follows this trend by using “warrior” and “bard” in replacement of their actual pronouns.

And honestly… the most often terms they used to refer to each other by or as? They just referred to each other by their names most of the time. It’s hard to explain what I mean by this but there is a real intimacy in them just calling each other by their names in a very specific way. No shorthands or terms of endearment like “babe/baby” or “sweetie”. Just Xena/Gabrielle.

There was also a lot of use of “friend” but everybody who watches Xena knows that Xena uses that term regardless whether the relationship she has with another character is platonic or romantic. ‘Best friend’ or “Only friend” is the way she refers to Gabrielle. That can certainly get confusing when they have many friends between them. I specifically remember that one time when Xena referred to both Gabrielle and Aphrodite as her “girlfriends” and that was…. A lot. I actually really don’t like it when actual platonic female friends call one another ‘girlfriend’. It’s too confusing.

But anyway, besides that one time, it might be a dated show but ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ was actually pretty good for gender neutrality: “may the best person win”.

[deepspacepunk]

(Haha that post was cute. You thought you were done? HA!)

ship

do i ship our characters together?: yes | no | not yet but maybe soon

[[ There has been teasing and they are certainly a fun duo around the office, Oliver isn't sure how Amaryllis feels about him and that keeps him from making a move! I also love the idea of Oliver seeing Caleb around Amaryllis and just "Well, I don't want to die, so I'm staying right here, thank you." Now that said, the moment Amaryllis makes any attraction known? Game on. ]]

would i like to ship with you?: yes | maybe, i'm willing to try | no

[[ You bet~ ]]

type of relationship i could see: childhood or high school sweethearts | exes | engaged | married | long-term relationship | crushes | unrequited love | fling | long distance | online relationship | just dating | new relationship | toxic lovers | friends with benefits

[[ Like with Naomi, Oliver is a flighty character. It would take a serious level of comfort and trust for him to settle down. Beyond that, oh there is something fun you can do here with him liking Amaryllis but never making a move because well... There's Xavier, there's Zayne, there's Caleb, and so on and so on. It's pretty well established that Oliver's self confidence is just a front, the man has very little faith in himself as a partner, so he would swallow those emotions and act bitter towards them, liking confusing Amaryllis because hey. What happened to her friend from work? Why is he acting like an ass now? Something to chew on. ]]

tropes i'd enjoy writing for them: friends to lovers | enemies to lovers | exes to lovers | fake relationship / dating | forbidden love | grumpy and sunshine | star-crossed lovers | surprise pregnancy | second chance | soulmates | amnesia / mistaken identity | forced proximity | secret relationship | slow burn relationship

[[ If they went for it, it's definitely friends to lovers, that's like their relationship to a T. If you decide to take from the scenario above, I can see Amaryllis falling out of love and then giving Oliver a piece of her mind, forcing him to re-examine himself because oh shit he is acting rude but also wait, you mean you liked him?

He would definitely be on the fast track to fixing his behavior to impress her, hence the "second chance" selected here. I know it normally means breaking up and getting back together, but I can take creative liberties here. ]]

would i rather plot first or jump right in and see where it goes?: develop their relationship first | jump right in | something in between ( what specifically? )

[[ Since I've been reading all their threads so far as more platonic, I would definitely want to see some more romantic interactions between the two of them before locking in! Otherwise, if we decide to not ship them, they make some really fun friends! I like either direction tbh! ]]

what now?: let's plot something | send me shippy memes | i'll send you shippy memes | write me a random starter | i'll write you a random starter

[[ If you so desire! ]]

anything else i want you to know about me / my character / my shipping habits:

[[ This is a fun one because like I stated above, I haven't really read their relationship as romantic in any way yet! A lot of their interactions have been playful and remind me of like a work friend you get along really well with to the point where you might see them outside of work.

But that doesn't mean I'm not open to the possibility! I think the two of them could have some interesting potential if explored, especially because I'd love to see Amaryllis' reaction to Oliver's past relationships, him opening up more about his insecurities as a potential partner to her (Goodness what if she wants kids? What if he isn't the man she's looking for? The horror!), and just also his whole background with Ever. Though most of these can also be explored in a platonic relationship as well!

Idk I like them! ]]

[topoeiaz]

Chapter 10: How the Times Have Changed I'd Love to See Me From Your Point of View (HP) Tom Riddle x OC

18+ blog • minors dni

word count: 2.2k

hp masterlist • pov masterlist • ao3

To Tom’s misery, Druella had stolen Thea to partner up for the entirety of double herbology – and it seemed that every herbology class would go the same way henceforward – and she had done so again once the bell had rung, leading Thea away from the greenhouse before Tom could even get a word in. Escaping a situation that smoothly was undoubtedly a hard-earned skill she had applied in past social gatherings.

Meanwhile, Thea had been brought to the courtyard where they met up with Walburga. The seventh-year greeted them affably as they settled into one of the picnic tables that decorated the open-air space.

“Alright, Wally and I actually have something for you!”

“Okay?” The excitement in Druella’s face had Thea looking at her in suspicion but she took the booklet that Walburga passed her across the table, nevertheless. Looking down, her face flamed up when she read the title and  she looked to the ladies in surprised confusion. “What?!”

From Courtroom to Courtship: The Gifts of a Lord.

That was certainly self-explanatory, and Thea hadn’t wanted to assume.

Instead of explaining themselves, Walburga simply nudged her chin at the inconspicuous booklet. “You should take a look at section two on courtships.”

“Again, why- huh?!”

“You can consider it a part of your training for high society,” Walburga said with a discreet smile. “You should always be careful of any gifts that a lord has bestowed upon you so that you don’t accidentally accept a courtship proposal.”

Druella paused in her giddy countenance and gave a disgusted shiver. “Almost happened to me with Carrow. Salazar, and he had been three times my age too!”

“Okay…” But, alas, something still didn’t feel quite right to Thea; from Walburga’s faux innocent smile to Druella’s expectant eyes, something was off. “Hm…”

Apprehension was crystal clear in Thea’s expression as she narrowed her doubtful eyes at them until Druella caved in. “Okay, so- Wally and I may or may not have stumbled across Riddle and Malfoy chatting in the common room last night…” Thea’s eyes narrowed further. “…about lordship customs… specifically courtship acts.”

The scepticism had yet to be erased from Thea’s face and she regarded them hesitantly, “and you think…”

Walburga raised an eyebrow. “Think? Oh, honey, we know so.”

“But-” Confusion struck the two when Thea remained adamant. “I mean, there’s no guarantee that he’ll become a lord?” Thea knew she was being ridiculous to the point of irrationality the moment the words escaped her.

“Aren’t you the one who’s most confident that it’ll happen?”

“Well- yes! And I am! I’d find a way to curse the damned ring if it doesn’t accept Tom because that’d just be asinine!”

“Then, what’s wrong?”

Thea paused at Walburga’s words and glanced down at the book in front of her. Her insecurities had been flitting in her mind ever since the implications of the book had sparked the idea in her and they were making her unreasonable. When she had expressed them out loud, she appreciated the sympathy they sent her despite their puzzlement. “I thought you liked him?”

The women smiled fondly at the hint of shyness that overtook Thea’s countenance. “Of course I do! Helga, help me, I’ve never liked anyone before but – Merlin knows – I feel lovestruck every time he looks at me! Gosh, everything he says sends my heart aflutter and the way he cares is just so, so lovely!”

Then, a beat.

“I think I love him?”

Thea stared into space, wide-eyed as the realisation hit her full force. Love? She loves him? She may know how it felt to love platonically but, romantic love? That was new. Do people fall in love this quick?

But, the more she thought about him – dreamy eyes that looked at her in pure wonder and affection, warm hands that left flames in its wake on her body wherever he had touched, and lips that spilled sweet, sweet words that made her giddy and yearning for him – the more she was sure that these feelings she held for him were something akin to what people would call ‘love’. The way she longed to hold his hand and craved his comforting presence more often than not, or the way she felt appreciated and loved – so loved – whenever he eased her troubles willingly, or how she wanted him to want her back just as she wanted him immensely; these weren’t things she sought in other people romantically and she couldn’t imagine only loving him as she did, Tally. Perhaps her love for Tom had started out platonic but as time had passed, Tom had shown her a love like no other and she could only love him back in kind.

Oh, how she loves him.

Thea felt a hand caress her shoulder gently and snapped out of her thoughts to return her attention to both ladies, who had understandably given her a needed time and space for her to grapple with her emotions. “Sorry, I spaced out. I, uh… yeah.” She offered them a weak smile which only eased their worries a tad.

“Oh, love, we didn’t mean to push it all onto you at once.”

“No! No- you’re alright! I just… didn’t know that my feelings ran that deep. And I guess I’m scared that he won’t reciprocate it.”

Druella gave her a genuine smile that left no room for doubt. “And we mean it when we say that we really do know that he will.”

Walburga nodded, “I’ve – quite literally – never seen anyone more endeared by someone than the both of you with each other. You should see how he speaks of you in your absence, that man is utterly infatuated with you. It’s clear that he would raise hell and damn heaven if it meant that you would look at him the same way he does, you.”

“…You really think so?” Thea’s voice was the quietest it had ever been as the conviction in their words battled with her self-doubt. Their nods and affirmative words touched her heart and she let the smallest ignition of hope flicker in her. She, herself, had seen the adoration gleam in Tom’s eyes as he gazed upon her, and knew that their confidence was not unfounded. “Thank you, guys, genuinely. This means so much to me.”

“It’s no worry at all, love. We just want you to be the happiest you can be! Until Riddle can man up and tell you of his feelings himself, we’re here to reassure you that your sentiments are valid and returned.”

Druella’s hand had left its grip on Thea’s shoulder and had taken her hand instead, caressing her softly in compassion for her friend.

As if trying to contest her own happiness, however, Thea’s thought pointed out a different concern. “And you both don’t mind it? If I end up with Tom?”

Walburga furrowed her eyebrow in confusion. “Why would we?”

“Yeah, I mean, besides the fact that I’ll have to fight against him for your time, why would we have an issue with it?”

“Well- because…” Nonsensical reasonings began popping up in her mind that she swiftly tried to subdue. “I’m not exactly… a pureblood.”

Shame crossed Druella and Walburga’s faces. “We understand where you’re coming from, Thea, but you have to believe us when we say that it doesn’t matter. We’ve had our fair share of eye-opening circumstances when Riddle was first sorted into Slytherin, and even more when he turned out to be the best in our year. The idea that, perhaps, the purity of our blood has no say in how magical one can be, has only been reinforced by you since. Such a magnificent witch you are, and blood has nothing to do with it.”

“Wally’s right.” Druella added in, “we’re maybe a tad scornful at the lighter sect now because they disapprove of our magical traditions, but nothing to do with blood. It’s much harder to convince our parents of that and so we’ve stuck to keeping up pretences when necessary, but we hardly believe it anymore when we’ve got literal proof in front of us that tells us otherwise.”

Relief settled the nerves churning in her gut and Thea let out a small sigh. “I’m glad you think so.”

“I can’t even bear to imagine losing this friendship we’ve made just because of those stupid ideals.”

Thea gave a light chuckle, “I know! Even with the fact that we’ve only just met recently, I really do appreciate you both.”

Fond emotions heavy in all their hearts, the two women shared their words of affection too. Soon, laughter and cheery voices filled the air as they flipped through the thin book to brief Thea on the gifts that a lord would give to their chosen suitor. The love threatening to burst out of Thea only swelled bigger that evening, when her eyes fell on Tom as she, Druella, and Walburga approached their table at dinner.

He had locked eyes with her upon noticing their approach and had visibly softened as a small smile formed on his lips. Simply seeing her effects on him had her almost fully convinced of his reciprocity, save for just a hint of uncertainty that persisted.

With her felicity, came impulsive actions.

Tom had walked her back to the Hufflepuff dormitory when she had stated that she had to leave early so that she could get a nap in before her astronomy class. Their idle chatter died down once they had made it to the rows of stacked barrels and their clasped hand parted once Thea had tapped the appropriate tune onto the right barrel.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, love.”

“Mhm,” Thea gave a hum and Tom raised a questioning brow when she made no move to leave. Instead, she took a step forward, still with a bright smile on her face, and leaned forwards to touch his cheek briefly with her lips. “Goodnight, love.”

Just as swiftly as she had unknowingly stopped Tom’s heart, Thea backed away and stepped through the entrance to her common room, giving him no time to act as he desired and leaving him breathless by the door. Both their hearts were pumping fervidly, Thea’s with the added adrenaline rush. Even as she awoke the next morning, there was a lack of grogginess that was usually present on a Thursday morning due to the double astronomy periods the night before. On the contrary, she started the day joyfully and energetically, a fresh lightness to her steps that nearly had her skipping her way to the hall for breakfast. Tom greeted her with a hand on her back once she had settled onto her seat, a dark glint in his eyes that she suspected she might have invoked from her previous actions.

“How was your class last night?”

Even as he listened attentively, his stare never eased up on its intensity. If she had caught his sight falling onto her lips every so often, she made no comment on it but knew from the heat in her cheeks that he was aware of her notice of it.

There was a slight shift in the air between them, and Thea had seen the tiniest of tension in Tom’s composure. Her curiosity was satisfied only later that day, however, when they were in the library after potions. As they wrapped up the period to head to transfiguration next, Tom had struck up a conversation.

“Are you busy tomorrow night?”

Confused, Thea replied nonetheless, “not before astronomy at twelve. What’s wrong?”

His tension took the chance to stiffen his posture imperceptibly, but his voice remained smooth as ever as he spoke. “I heard the night sky would be clear then.”

“Oh?”

He gave an affirmative hum. “Forecasted no clouds, apparently.”

“I suppose the view would be beautiful then,” Thea had a sense as to where this was headed to and she was more than happy to play along, an amused grin now playing on her lips. “It’d be a shame if a sudden class was to be scheduled in the astronomy tower at 9pm.”

At once, Tom’s shoulder loosened up and he breathed out a small sigh of relief that she almost missed. A pleased smile formed on his face as he took her hand when she went to his side to begin their walk to their next destination. “A shame, indeed.”

When Tom dropped Thea off by her dorm again that night, he was quicker to plant a short kiss on her forehead this time. Their hands were still intertwined, so that left her with no option to run away, stilling on her spot instead as pink rose to her face.

He brought a hand to caress her cheek and lifted her head up to face him fully. “Goodnight, love.”

With more privacy here, as there were no one else roaming the halls at the moment, Thea allowed herself to nuzzle into his touch and closed her eyes briefly. “Goodnight, my love.”

The term of endearment that had left her tongue softly wasn’t the only thing that took him by surprise when she gave him another kiss on the corner of his lips before, much like yesterday, slipping away from his grasp with a promise shared into the quiet of the evening.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

ao3 🌱 topaz 🌱 masterlist

don’t steal my work, claim it as your own, upload it to another site, or use it to train AI

dividers by: @strangergraphics-archive & @saradika-graphics

[taughtdefense]

sender kisses receiver's palm.

THE ELDRITCH’S MIND IS BEYOND TRILLIONS OF YEARS OLD ( in the most literal way possible ), but reciprocated, casual, platonic affection slid his way by those he's friends with is fairly uncharted territory. if anything, he’s usually the one intializing the hand-holding, or nudging someone’s shoulders. he’s gotten really into hugging or brushing up against tory during miyagi-fang trainings, something she absolutely loves to pieces. she’s not typically affectionate with anyone, even her sisters—both biological ( nova & stef ) & chosen ( scarlett, paisley, & cosima ). ethan’s pretty much taken the number one spot on tory’s list of people who give me consistent affection. ( she wouldn’t have it any other way. )

mr. larusso’s very well adjusted to ethan’s quirks & need for affection from his partners at all times by now, & will watch any type of affectionate interaction with an amused smile. chozen will roll his eyes, but he silently thinks of kumiko. sometimes, johnny will pause mid-lesson & snap lightly at ethan to stop playing footsie with his fiancés so publicly, but he’s clearly happy that ethan’s happy, so the shouting doesn’t bother him. he knows he’s just joking around.

ethan’s eldritch friends like shadow, gray & ciro aren't exactly the pinnacle of affection in any lifetimes. especially not ciro. what he's trying to get at is that affection is something he's not used to. familial? sure. wade & vanessa are certainly affectionate with him. just this morning, vanessa told him she was happy he was physically recovering so smoothly, & ruffled his hair. romantic? you bet. he has four partners he dotes on.

sanji is a formidable opponent during sparring matches, a hell of a chef, & he's a great friend/ally to have. but the version in front of him is not that same sanji, not really. …maybe he should make a friendship bracelet or something to differentiate one sanji from the other, otherwise ethan thinks he'll start rambling about stuff that current sanji wouldn't know what the fuck he's talking about. he swears he can hear current sanji asking him what the all blue is, or maybe he’d humor him. but ethan knows himself. he’d probably accidentally fuck up & tell the crewmate-of-the-seas version of sanji about cobra kai. yeesh. talk about embarrassing.

alternate lifetimes are so confusing.

but anyway, ethan receiving platonic affection? that’ll take some getting used to.

so when @lovehungered suddenly kisses his palm, ethan stops mid-sentence, the words dying on his tongue.

whatever he’d wanted to say flies right out the proverbial window after being set on fire. he just immediately forgets what he was going to say, because sanji just fucking kissed my palm out of nowhere, holy shit, & it was kinda… nice. he blinks a few times. his brain effectively short-circuits for a half-second, heat flying to his whole face, coloring his face a dusty pink.

he makes a quiet, surprised noise, clearly super flustered, staring at sanji with wide brown eyes. ( ethan’s just glad he’s not hospitalized again, because if he was hooked up to a heart-rate monitor right now, it would have betrayed him by beeping. loudly. & if that had happened, he’d never hear the end of it from his friends. yikes. )

shit. i/you/we are supposed to say something! i/you/we have been quiet for too long! the younger version of ethan screams at him in his head. start talking, motherfucker! in this universe, ethan physically blinks again like a two-headed owl just popped up next to him, then quickly blurts out something entirely freaking eloquent, like:

❝ thanks, sanj. platonic affection is super appreciated! i-i… well, wasn’t immediately expecting that, ❞ it’s clear he means that, & while he’d been surprised at the initial contact, his entire hand buzzes pleasantly, pins-&-needles & a warmth that makes him feel giddy, like he’s floating in the clouds—& oh boy, he can mentally see his younger vessel literally jumping for joy like a cartoon character, ❝ —but that kind of affection is not, um, unwanted? not from you, &-& n-not that i think you’re weird, or anything, & it’s actually really nice, & just look at my face right now, i’m super happy you kissed my palm & all— ❞ shit, now we/i/you need to stop fucking talking! shut the hell up! ethan’s younger, blonder, much more chaotic self suddenly snaps at him, practically begging for him/us to put a sock in it. ethan does his best to ignore the other version of himself currently flipping out. at least he’s not hearing silver’s voice. ❝ you’re s-so sweet. ❞ ethan stutters, giving him an awkward, but shy grin to finish off his rant session, eyes bright with warmth & a tender sort of joy, one that’s reserved exclusively for his friends.

[amoremoccidere]

The Kairi Question (A Queer Reading of Kingdom Hearts)

I realize the first question that’s going to be on a lot of minds the minute I start talking about Sora and Riku as a romantic couple is how that fits with Kairi’s character.

There are, of course, the obvious responses, such as the fact that Kairi hasn’t played a major role in the story for a very long time, if her role could ever be called major in the first place, but that doesn’t delete her character from the story entirely.

Instead, I would like to revisit the fundamentals and really disentangle Kairi’s role from our preconceived notions of what the best friend to the male lead is “supposed” to be.

In other words, anything that is not explicit within the text is not canon.

Kairi is never explicitly stated as Sora’s love interest. The closest we come to it at any point in the story is in Chain of Memories, where Sora’s memory is addled and Namine, planting herself in Kairi’s place in many ways as her shadow, her Nobody, causes Sora to express disappointment in that they were never really friends, “Or anything more than that.” But that only confirms that Namine addled Sora’s mind to make him think he was attracted to her. Whether those feelings came initially from Kairi is left vague, even when Namine admits that Kairi is the girl in his life who is most special to him.

Feelings can also change, and people can realize that things they thought they once knew about themselves are wrong. Though I doubt this is something Kingdom Hearts would ever address plainly using specific terminology (even if Sora and Riku were to become an explicit couple in the future), since it has a certain tone that’s just slightly hovering over grounded reality, there are many people out there who didn’t realize they were queer when they were young and thought they had a crush on someone just because that person was their “favorite girl” and they didn’t realize there’s supposed to be a feeling that goes along with that. It’s a nigh-universal experience amongst homosexual and asexual people in particular. That feeling that you have to “choose” someone.

Sora’s feelings for Kairi could be interpreted as having never existed at all, or having once existed and then changed, or having been presumed by even Sora because everyone on Destiny Islands thought he liked her and he simply went along with it because he thought he was supposed to like her.

If they did exist at any point, it’s easy to support the interpretation that they don’t anymore.

Sora’s confusion when Kairi hands him a Paopu fruit--a colloquial symbol with romantic connotations--and the distress on his face is easy to read as a rejection.

It certainly isn’t an explicit expression of romance from Sora, in any case. There are none in the series. No verbal confessions, no kisses, no dates outright stated as such.

If there are no explicit confirmations, we have to turn to implicit.

But the problem with Sora and Kairi is that every scene between them that could be interpreted as romantic has a pointed, purposeful, and platonic parallel elsewhere in the series.

I’ll only give a few here to make my point, but I may make a post dedicated to this later, showing every single time Sora and Kairi do something together that’s repeated by another two characters at another point.

The existence of these platonic scenes juxtaposed against Sora and Kairi does not necessarily mean that it is impossible to read them as romantic, but that every scene between Sora and Kairi reliably has a platonic counterpart is worth noting when analyzing the purpose of these scenes.

So, if we’re assuming Kairi’s role in this story is not to be Sora’s love interest, since that role falls to Riku, then how can her role be read?

Well, personally, I read her role as--bear with me--to...not be Sora’s love interest.

And I don’t mean that in a she’s-a-strong-independent-woman-who-don’t-need-no-man way. What I mean is that she is there, specifically, to subvert the expectation that every hero in every story needs to get the girl. She’s standing in the role of “the girl” specifically to take up that space, but Sora has no intention of “getting” her.

Kairi has never been a particularly important part of Kingdom Hearts. None of her choices seem to matter.

In the first Kingdom Hearts game, her role throughout most of the story was that of a corpse. She was a MacGuffin, passed from place to place, from villain to villain, until she was rescued, just before the climax, leaving said climax for Sora and Riku alone.

In Kingdom Hearts II, she boldly left the islands in search of Sora only to be captured, passed again from villain to villain, and be rescued (by Namine this time rather than Sora)...just before the climax, leaving the climax for Sora and Riku alone once again.

In Kingdom Hearts III, if we count Re:Mind, then the story becomes more about Kairi toward the end of the installment...

...until you unlock Episode Riku after the credits, where the story goes right back to being about Riku and Sora.

...And then someone who looks like Riku and Sora.

The non-numeric games barely mention Kairi at all, usually giving her one or two short scenes where she has no lines. Even Birth By Sleep gave her less screen-time than Sora and Riku, and she only shared one scene with them while Sora and Riku were never apart.

And even Melody of Memory, a game with only thirty minutes or so of plot that was mostly about Kairi...

...ended with Kairi being told she couldn’t come, outright vocalizing what the rest of the games had all implied, finally saying it to her face. “This story...”

“...isn’t yours.”

And she’s disappointed. Understandably. Everything, this whole time, has been about Sora and Riku, and that’s something she can’t ignore anymore.

She’s the love interest that wasn’t. The girl the hero wasn’t supposed to get. She is there to be the subversion of a trope. She’s there specifically because she doesn’t have to be there. But that’s okay.

Why?

The only thing that’s been keeping her in these games all this time, the reason she keeps being pulled back into the story even when she’s not relevant, every single scene without dialogue given to her in those games where she’s otherwise absent...

They’re all there for one reason.

Sora loves her.

Maybe it’s not the way she wants. It’s certainly not the way he would have loved her in any other game. But he does love her. No game fully passes without at least a mention of her, because he’s thinking about her, or dreaming about her, or talking about her. And even if the story doesn’t belong to her...even if the romance doesn’t belong to her...he’s always going to love her.

She’s the girl Sora loved in the wrong way.

And I think she’ll be okay with that.

[rubysunnday]

holding out for a hero

Request by anon: Hi. Congrats! If requests are still open would you be willing to do “I am hanging on for dear life and you want to discuss this now?!" or “I threw myself out a window for you! What more do you want from me?" with Kaz? I would like romantically if possible but would also be okay with platonic. If they aren’t open anymore I apologize. If you don’t want to do it either I totally understand. Also I love your writing!

Summary: three times Y/N saved Kaz's life and one time he saved hers

Bullets were raining down around them - bouncing off the walls and splintering the wood of the crates that Kaz and Y/N were hiding behind. Despite their situation, Y/N was still trying to give Kaz some space, not wanting him to feel like he was pinned into a corner and couldn't escape.

If they were searching for someone to blame, it would certainly lie with Jesper. Who was currently hiding behind the crate opposite them, a stupid grin plastered on his face as he popped up, fired his revolver twice and then ducked back down.

"This is excellent!" Jesper exclaimed, laughing loudly.

"How is this excellent?!" Y/N yelled, pressing herself up against the crate and flinching as bullets splintered the wood above her head.

"The adrenaline rush, the thrill of -"

"Imminent death?"

"No! The thrill of a gunfight, Y/N!" Jesper replied, raising his voice over the bullets as he reloaded his revolver. He paused and inhaled deeply. "Ah, the smell of gunpowder in the early morning air."

Y/N gave Jesper a disbelieving gaze as he paused to snif the air, a blissfully happy expression on his face.

"Can I shoot him?" Y/N asked, turning to face Kaz. "Please, let me shoot him."

Kaz rolled his eyes. He was tensed up having been pushed into a corner and was trying to make himself as small as possible. He was glad it was Y/N with him - she'd been trying to give him as much space as possible whilst they were trapped behind the crates.

The gunfire from the other end of the street had died down to silence - the smoke from the numerous guns hanging heavy in the air. Kaz, desperate to be in his own space, stood up, wincing as his legs protested.

"Come on, before they come back," Kaz called, grabbing his cane and limping out from behind the crates.

"Kaz, wait!"

Kaz was forcefully yanked backwards and felt himself falling to the ground. Not even a second later, a bomb exploded where he had been standing. He squeezed his eyes shut, blinded and stunned by the explosion. Someone was firing again and chaos resumed once more.

Kaz opened his eyes and realised he was face-to-face with Y/N. He was lying on top of her, both of them sprawled on the cobbles. Y/N had her eyes shut, looking peaceful despite the chaos.

He rolled off her, grunting in pain as his leg hit the cobbles. The waters were rising and were getting higher and higher around him, almost engulfing his neck. But he kept swimming, forcing himself to keep his head above water.

"Y/N," Kaz said, his gloved hand shaking as he touched her shoulder. "Y/N!" He shook her harder, panic beginning to drown him along with the water.

Y/N inhaled and slowly opened her eyes, clearly disorientated and confused as to why she was on the ground. She licked her lips and inhaled again, regaining her grip on reality.

"You're welcome," Y/N groaned, pushing herself up onto her elbows. "Next time, look where you're going."

Kaz tried not to obviously gape in surprise at her nonchalantl approach at almost dying. He nodded at her and readjusted his jacket, dusting some dust off it. A bullet hit the wall next to them and Y/N ducked, shuffling back to sit against the crates.

And just like that, the moment between them was over.

"We're cornered."

"Yes, I noticed."

"Was that part of the plan?"

"What do you think, Y/N?"

That was a no, then.

Y/N sighed, glancing back down at the revolver in her hands. There were three bullets left inside it and at least ten guards making their way up the stairs and trying to break down the door.

The chair rattled against the handles of the door, the broom Kaz had shoved between the handles bending in the middle. They didn't have long.

"So, what's our plan, Kaz?" Y/N asked, twirling her revolver around her finger. "Because I only have three bullets left and there are more than three guards."

Kaz kept quiet. He was clenching his jaw tightly and Y/N only had to look at him once to know he had no plan.

She paused. "So, no plan?" Y/N sighed heavily, quickly coming to accept their imminent death. "Well, at least we're going to go down fighting, eh?"

Kaz still hadn't spoken. His hand was gripping his cane tightly and his eyes were looking at the ground. He hadn't meant to get them cornered - to be honest, he hadn't even meant to be in the building but, alas.

The door rattled in its hinges and the chair fell away from the door, clattering onto the ground on its side. The broom was the only thing keeping it shut but Y/N could see a crack forming in the wood and knew there wasn't much time left.

"Kaz," Y/N said, turning to look at him. "There's two of us and ten of them. I have three bullets which means I can take three of them out. You can take at least two out with your cane of death which leaves five. Split that between us and that's two each and then one for both of us."

Kaz gave her a surprised look, his eyebrows raised. "How long did it take you to come up with that plan?"

"Five seconds."

His surprised look merged to an impressed one. "When the student becomes the master."

"I can't do that if we're dead," Y/N shot back. She glanced at the door. "So, we doing this or not?"

Kaz pushed himself off the wall and stood next to Y/N, holding his cane from the bottom. "We're going down fighting."

"Guns drawn and blood on our faces," Y/N finished, smiling. She twirled her revolver around her finger again, finding the movement reassuring and calming.

The broom snapped into two pieces and the door swung open, bouncing off the wall and swinging back from the force. Y/N instantly fired her revolver and the bullet landed in the forehead of the first guard to run into the room, killing him instantly.

When she'd first moved to Ketterdam and joined the Dregs, killing people affected her more. She took every death personally and each one hit her hard. But now, it was a matter of survival. If she didn't kill she would be killed. It made the decision to take a life a bit easier.

Y/N fired her revolver again, taking down another guard via a bullet to the thigh. She ducked as another charged at her, swinging a fist at her head. Y/N kicked him in the stomach, knocking him to the floor. He lifted his head up and Y/N whacked him across the temple with her revolver.

Three down. One bullet left.

Kaz was attacking the other five guards with his cane having taken down two with well-placed hits. He was struggling against the three who had ganged up on him - one had gotten behind him and grabbed Kaz's arms, pinning them behind his back.

Y/N narrowed her eyes and fired her last bullet. It went through the man in front of Kaz who was about to hit him with his gun and landed in the guard who was holding Kaz's arms back.

Kaz fell forward as he was suddenly freed. Y/N threw her revolver to the ground - the weapon now useless. The biggest of the guards had Kaz in his eyesight but Kaz was oblivious as he tied to fight off another guard.

Y/N kicked the guard she was in the midst of fighting and as he stumbled back, she grabbed a book off a nearby table. In one move she whacked the heavy, old volume around the man's head, knocking him out instantly.

She turned and saw the biggest guard advancing on an oblivious Kaz with his revolver drawn. Y/N didn't think - she ran at the guard and tackled him around the waist. She didn't realise how close they were to the window and the next thing she knew, the glass smashed and she and the guard were falling out the window.

Y/N landed on the canopy that was hanging above the front door, glass and broken window frame falling around her. The fabric held her weight despite the sudden impact. Y/N shielded her eyes with her arms as shards of glass sprinkled around her, slicing the few bits of bare skin that she had on show.

The guard she'd tackled hadn't been so lucky. He'd missed the canopy entirely and had ended up impaled on the fence below.

Y/N groaned, winded by her sudden fall. She brushed a broken piece of the window frame off her stomach and winced as she felt some glass digging into her back. She reached around for it and threw it to the side.

"Y/N!"

Y/N looked up and saw Kaz half leaning out of the broken window she'd fallen through.

"No, no, don't worry about me, I'm fine," she grunted, pushing herself up onto her elbows.

"I had it covered, you didn't need to do that!" Kaz called, an unreadable expression on his face. If Y/N had been closer to him, she would have seen the fear and concern that was so clearly written on his face.

"Kaz, I threw myself out a window for you! A little gratitude would be nice," Y/N yelled, throwing a piece of wood up at the window.

Kaz's shoulders slumped. "Thank you, Y/N. Now, can you roll off your canopy or do I need to come and shove you over like a beetle?"

"No, I'm more then capable," Y/N grunted, rolling over onto her front and then pushing herself up to her knees.

Kaz watched her clamber off the canopy before ducking back inside the room. He clenched his fist tightly, the leather of his gloves creaking. Kaz then unclenched them and cracked his knuckles - something he did to release the tension in his body.

He glanced out the window again and reassured himself that Y/N was alive and not dead, impaled on a fence like the other guard. Kaz had, for a moment, feared she was dead - the fall having broken her neck or spine, killing her instantly.

But Y/N was fine. Well. As fine as someone who fell through a window could be.

Kaz picked up his cane again and limped out the room, aiming one last hit with his cane at a guard just for good measure.

In the Barrel, an injury - no matter how severe - could mean death. Getting an infection was easy and Kaz had seen some of the strongest men get sliced by a knife and a week later ended up on the Reaper's Barge.

Kaz always kept an eye on his Crows when they were on jobs. He'd never admit it openly but he wouldn't know what to do with himself if one of them died from an injury that could have easily been healed.

He still struggled to wrap his head around the fact that Jesper and Inej had both gotten injured saving him. Kaz didn't think he deserved saving but, alas, here he was. Unfortunately still alive.

Y/N, however, though Kaz did deserve saving. She couldn't imagine life without him (annoyingly).

So when a gun was pointed at the back of Kaz's head, Y/N didn't hesitate to tackle the gun out of the man's hand.

It went off as Y/N grabbed the gun and Jesper, Kaz and Inej all spun around to see what the source was. As the man fell backwards, Y/N lost her balance and fell down with him, landing on top of the man.

The gunshot kept echoing off the walls as the three of them stared at Y/N, waiting for her to move. Kaz took a hesitant step forward, unsure of what to do. Luckily for him, Jesper snapped into action. He ran forward and knelt down beside Y/N, gently rolling her off the top of the man.

The man was dead, a knife sticking out of his chest. The gun had fallen to the side but smoke was still wafting up off it. Jesper glanced back down at Y/N.

"Y/N, hey," Jesper said, gently slapping her face. "Hey, you alright?"

Y/N groaned, lifting her head up. She let out a yelp of pain and her hand flew to her left shoulder. Her fingers came away wet and stained red and Y/N's breath quickened, panic settling.

"Ok, you're alright," Jesper reassured, shifting closer to her. He put a hand over the wound in her shoulder, putting pressure on it as the blood seeped through Y/N's shirt.

"Where's Kaz?" Y/N asked, panic evident in her voice. "Is he alright?"

"He's fine, Y/N," Inej said, suddenly appearing on Y/N's right side. "Y/N, he's fine."

Kaz moved closer to Y/N, standing just within her view. Y/N spotted his dark figure and instantly her panic faded. Kaz was still alive, a hand on his cane, his hat pulled down over his face. She could just make out his expression behind the shadow the hat cast across his face and noted that, despite the fact he looked emotionless, there was turmoil behind his eyes.

"Kaz will buy you a drink later to say thank you for saving his life," Jesper said, switching places with Inej. "And I will buy you three for not dying."

Y/N laughed and winced as she aggravated her shoulder. "Jes, if I'd known getting shot would mean you buying me drinks, I would have done it sooner."

Kaz looked at Y/N. The initial panic at seeing Y/N lying there had vanished and now he was overwhelmed with the feeling of relief that she was relatively in one piece.

He lowered his head as he felt a smile pull at his lips, not wanting anyone to see his smile of relief.

"Roofs... I hate them."

Kaz snorted. "May I ask why, darling Y/N?"

Y/N resisted the urge to shove Kaz off the roof they were walking across. "Oh, I can think of dozens of reasons why. Starting with, I could fall to my death, and ending with, I am not Inej, and then, perhaps, circling back to, I could fall to my death!"

Kaz rolled his eyes. "You won't fall to your death."

"Wow, so full of confidence, Kaz," Y/N drawled, hopping over a loose tile on the top of the roof. "Why are we on the roof anyway?"

"Because we need to be subtle."

"Then why did we bring Jesper?"

"I said that we needed to be subtle. Jesper can be as unsubtle as he likes," Kaz replied.

A loud bang came from somewhere down below. This was followed by several shouts of alarm and then a loud gunshot.

"Ah, yes, unsubtle is a Jesper talent," Y/N said, nodding thoughtfully. "Just like shooting things with style."

Kaz slowly turned to look at Y/N over his shoulder, giving her a dark glare.

"Kaz, you should update your resume with 'can pull scary, brooding glare."

"Oh, shut up."

The two of them continued their precarious walk along the roof. Y/N was beginning to get vertigo from constantly looking down and had to pause every few steps to look up and around, regaining her sense of balance.

At the end of the roof was an open skylight. A small staircase had been built onto the wall below the skylight and led inside the building. Y/N assumed that this was what Kaz meant by 'being subtle'.

Kaz climbed down first, wincing as he put all his weight on his bad leg. Y/N followed down after Kaz, taking her time so that she didn't slip and fall.

"Where now?" Y/N asked softly, jumping down the last step and dusting her hands on her blouse.

The room they were in was almost pitch black. Y/N looked around and found a lantern on a nearby shelf with a packet of matches next to it. She struck one and carefully lit the candle in the lantern, wafting the match out as the flame took hold of the candle wick.

As the flame grew in size, they could make out a door on the other side of the room - a room that was clearly in the middle of a renovation.

"That door should lead out into the main house," Kaz said, nodding at the giant oak door. "If the blueprints I found are correct."

"And if they're not?" Kaz didn't say a word and Y/N turned to face him. "And if they're not?" She asked again, trying to disguise the slight panic in her voice.

Kaz shrugged a shoulder. "Then they're not."

Y/N stared at the wall in front of her and took a deep breath in, trying to convince herself to not murder him. She walked up to the heavy door and pulled it open, the hinges groaning in protest. The lantern did little to push away the darkness as they stepped out onto the landing.

The house was clear midway through a huge renovation. The furniture, paintings and statues were all covered in sheets to protect them from the dust. A few statues and chaise lounges hadn't been covered and Y/N could just make out the expensive-looking fabric in shades of blue and gold.

"Kaz, whose house is this?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well, not many houses in Ketterdam have Novyi Zem imported fabric on their chaise lounges," Y/N whispered. "Which member of the Merchant Council owns this house?"

"One of the older ones," Kaz replied, lifting the corner of a sheet off a vase and staring it at as if he was window shopping.

"Kaz."

"Van Eck."

"Van Eck?!"

Kaz turned to look at her. "Why do you sound so surprised? You know we've been spying on Van Eck for months."

"No, I knew that you'd been interrogating Wylan about his father for months," Y/N retorted. "Kaz, why are we here? Where is Wylan, anyway?"

"Causing chaos out on the street with Jesper," Kaz replied, moving on from the vase. "I asked for his permission."

Y/N stopped. "You asked Wylan for permission to steal from his father? Who are you and what have you done with Kaz?"

Kaz scoffed. He turned his head to look at Y/N. "Y/N, darling, I'm not a monster." Kaz paused. "Besides, it's not as if Wylan is going to object to it." He nodded to another giant oak door, this one painted white. "This way."

Y/N, still carrying the lantern, walked up to the door. "I'm surprised you didn't ask Wylan to come instead of me," Y/N said, looking at Kaz over her shoulder as she pushed open the door. "I would've thought he would be more valuable -"

Y/N cut herself off as she walked forward and realised that the floor suddenly disappeared. Where a bannister should be was just a sheer drop to the ground floor. Y/N dropped the lantern as she tried to catch herself, arms flailing, and for a moment, Y/N felt herself begin to fall forward.

Kaz snatched the back of her jacket and yanked her back into him. Y/N fell back into Kaz, her back hitting his chest with a forceful thud. Kaz's hand was on her waist, the other on her arm, and the two of them stood there, staring down at the drop with wide eyes. The lantern had fallen down to the ground floor and flickered feebly.

Y/N's breath was coming in short, rapid bursts as she stared at the floor in shock, barely realising that she'd put her hand over Kaz's gloved hand - the one that was still on her waist. She swallowed and took a deep breath in, slowly exhaling as she calmed herself down.

"Thanks," she said softly, turning her head to look at Kaz. She seemed to realise how close they both were and gave Kaz's hand one, quick reassuring squeeze before stepping away from him.

"I couldn't have my most valuable investment turning into raspberry jam," Kaz said, his voice ever so slightly rougher than usual. He cleared his throat and rolled his shoulders. "Come on, stairs are this way - unless you want to test gravity again."

Kaz limped off to the stairs that wound down to the ground floor, his figure disappearing into the shadows. Y/N smiled to herself as soon as Kaz had turned his back on her. He'd saved her life.

"Y/N! Come on!" Kaz yelled, his voice echoing in the vast room. "Stop flirting with gravity!"

Y/N's smile only grew.