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daryl-dixon-daydreams · 2 years ago

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Words: 4,019 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female!Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: flashbacks, current day is S10, The Reapers Warnings: language, violence, gore, angst A/N: This is Part 1 of a new commissioned miniseries! Thank you to @ankhmutes for their generous support! Summary: Daryl loses Y/N in Atlanta and her absence colors his years.

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Atlanta – About 10 Years Ago

He could feel your hands clasping his face, your thumbs moving lightly over the bruising and swelling. His eyes fixed on the pout of your bottom lip and then moved up to swim in the depths of your irises. Fingers in his hair, the weight of you against his chest, the pressure of your fingertips dimpling into his sides. He could almost taste your lips again. He could almost catch your scent.

“God, what did they do to you?” You threw your arms around his neck and he pressed his hands into your back to hold you tightly against him. He could feel the shuddering of your breaths and the wetness of your tears falling on his shirt. “I thought I lost you for good,” you managed, pulling back to look into his face again. Your eyes were round and glassy. “And then to find you—but this way—those men.” You were trembling underneath his hands.

Daryl ducked his head. “‘M sorry. ‘M so sorry,” he managed to croak out. “I didn’t know they—I knew they were bad but I never thought—”

You hastily clasped his face again, brushing his hair away. “Shh. I know. I know… It’s not your fault.”

His breath hitched in his chest and he melted down into you again, hugging you tightly against him. “I ain’t ever lettin’ go of ya again.” You’d kissed him and your lips tasted salty with your tears.

“Daryl. Daryl… Hey, Daryl!” Carol grabbed him by the shoulder and he startled slightly. Her furrowed brow was heavy over her blue eyes. Daryl snapped back to the present.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Sorry…”

Carol straightened up, but the concern didn’t leave her face. “You good?”

He ducked his eyes and nodded. He wasn’t, but he had to be.

She sighed and looked back out the window at the expanse of burnt buildings unrolled before them. “We’re gonna find them. Both of them. Y/N and Beth.” She glanced back at the archer. His expression was grim and worn. She could feel the fear and anxiety radiating off him. “They’re both strong. They’ll be okay.”

Daryl shook his head and stared down at his hands. He was anxiously fiddling with a bit of glass. “After the prison fell, when we found each other again, I told her I wasn’t ever lettin’ go of her… I promised. And then we had Terminus… and now this… Fuck,” he swore under his breath. “Separated by a bunch of walkers?” He shook his head and leaned heavily on his hand against the window. “I shoulda made her stay at the church with everybody. Shouldn’ta even brought her into the city.”

Carol let out a soft laugh. “Made her?” she said. “Daryl, we both know no one can make Y/N do anything. She’s just as stubborn as you. Maybe more, though I don’t know if that’s possible.”

Daryl only sighed and looked over at Carol. She could see something looming, weighing on him. “I gotta tell ya somethin’.” Her brow furrowed. “Y/N is pregnant.” Carol’s breath left her in a whoosh of air. Daryl gulped, struggling to fight the tears in his eyes. “We just found out…”

Carol mustered her best smile. “You’re gonna be a dad,” she said. “Congratulations.”

Daryl paced a frantic circle, chewing on the side of his thumbnail. He turned and stared at Carol for a long moment, desperation on his face. “There were so many of them. What if she—what if she didn’t—”

“Hey. She did.” Carol grasped his shoulder hard. “She did. Y/N is a fighter. She learned from our best, you,” she said with a smile she hoped was reassuring. “She learned from you. And she’s smart. I’m sure she’s fine.”

Daryl ducked his head, his voice shaking, “‘M s’posed to protect her and I failed. I keep failin’ at it over and over.”

“Everything is going to be okay. We’re gonna find Beth and then we will go back and find Y/N. Okay? That is, if she doesn’t find us first.”

Daryl managed a nod, but that was all he had.

_ _ _ _ _ _

Noah limped up to the car and watched as Daryl frantically checked the area. “What are you looking for?”

“She’s—she’s s’posed to be here. Maybe she left somethin’,” he drawled, more to himself than anything. “She’s gotta be here.” He opened the gas cap and checked inside. Nothing. He looked on top of all the tires, under the hood. Nothing. He froze and pushed his sweaty hair back from his face. “Nah…”

Noah was looking around nervously. “It’s too open here. They could see us… We need to go. We have to go.”

Daryl slammed his fist down onto the hood of the car. How was it possible that he’d gone into the city on a rescue mission and lost two more of his family? He paced again, rubbing a hand over his face. He needed help. He needed the others. The last thing he wanted to do was leave the city, but he needed back-up. “C’mon,” he growled to Noah. “Let’s find a vehicle.”

_ _ _ _ _ _

“Daryl.” Rick’s voice behind him. “We can’t stay here any longer. We have to move on.”

Daryl’s hand clenched into a fist. “Ya think she’s dead, too,” he said. The gravel and grit was thick in his voice.

Rick passed a shaky hand over his eyes and then stared at Daryl’s crumpled posture.

“Go on then. Leave me here.”

Rick sighed heavily. “I can’t do that.” He paced closer. “I won’t do that. You are my brother. You belong with us. I won’t leave you alone here. We all need each other more than—” he had to pause as his voice broke. He swallowed the lump and tightness in his throat as best he could. “More than ever.”

“I can’t,” Daryl managed. He dug his fingernails into the soil and grabbed fistfuls, just to try to ground himself with something. He’d been back into Atlanta every day for a week and he hadn’t found a damn trace of you. Nothing. And he knew the group was only waiting for him… but they couldn’t wait forever. “I can’t leave—”

Rick appeared beside him. “You have to,” he said with a sigh. When Daryl didn’t move, Rick sank down beside him and stared out at the trees. The muscle in his jaw tensed as he tried to hold back emotion. He sat in silence beside Daryl with his devastation for a long time before he finally spoke again. “When I lost Lori… when Carl was shot,” he glanced over at Daryl, “I wanted to give up. God, I wanted to,” he said softly. “I did for a while. I lost myself.” His eyes drifted up to the slices of sky he could see behind the wavering leaves of the trees overhead. “But we don’t get to give up. We keep going, because we are still here. Our family is still here and we all rely on each other. We keep going because we have to.”

Daryl sniffled and hastily wiped his forearm over his face.

“So, come on, brother,” Rick said, climbing to his feet and extending a hand down to Daryl. “Come on. On your feet.”

Daryl glanced up at Rick’s hand, his blue eyes clouded behind tears. He almost didn’t grab it. But he thought of Carl, and Judith, and Carol… of Maggie’s loss and Sasha’s… People still needed him. He clasped it. Rick tugged him to his feet.

“She ain’t gone,” Daryl said, straightening up. “I dun believe it.”

Rick nodded. “But we can’t stay. If we stay here, we die.”

Daryl felt the emptiness in his chest expanding like a black hole. “I’ll come. But I ain’t givin’ up on lookin’. She’ll get outta the city. She will. She’s gonna find us or I’mma find her.”

Rick nodded again, but his heart sank into the bottom of his stomach, like it was weighted with a lead anchor.

_ _ _ _ _ _

About 9 and a Half Years Ago

Maggie saw that Daryl was still awake when she opened her eyes in the early hours after the storm. She stood softly and went to sink down beside him, looking over at the group scattered on the ground, sleeping. Their family. What was left of it. They’d lost Bob, Beth, Tyreese, and you. One after the other. Too many. Far too many… She glanced over at Daryl but he seemed to be pointedly looking away.

“He was tough,” he finally drawled, looking at Sasha sleeping across the barn.

“Yeah,” Maggie agreed. “He was.”

Daryl stared at his hands now, afraid to look Maggie in the eye and see her grief. “So was she,” he managed.

Maggie nodded. “Both of them were.” She put a hand on Daryl’s arm. “I’m sorry—in some ways, not knowing about Bethie, not knowin’ about what was happenin’ to her was worse than—than this… Wonderin’ if she was hungry or thirsty. Wonderin’ if she was scared. Just wonderin’…”

Daryl’s throat constricted into a knot. He nodded. “Ain’t no way those walkers took Y/N down… Ain’t no way. She’s too good for that.” Maggie heard the shake in his voice and sighed, leaning back against the rough wood of the barn wall.

“Then if she’s still out there, you two will find your way back to each other. I know it,” Maggie said. She glanced back over at him and mustered a sad smile. The pain on his face was clear. “Get some sleep, Daryl.”

After she walked away, Daryl laid down on his folded-up vest, but sleep didn’t come. His fingers found the rip in the side that you had stitched skillfully back together, tiny x’s of thread. They ran over and over it, just because your fingers had made it.

_ _ _ _ _ _

About 10 Years Ago

The group stepped in through the gate cautiously, following Rick’s lead, looking with shock at the near perfect suburbia suddenly unrolling before their eyes. Everyone that is, except Daryl. His boots seemed to have rooted to the concrete.

Rick saw Aaron looking back and glanced over his shoulder. The archer was frozen, staring in across the opening of the gate.

Aaron happened to catch Maggie’s eye, a questioning look on his face, but Maggie said nothing. Aaron glanced back toward Daryl. He hadn’t moved.

“Carl,” he murmured. “Take Judith for just a sec.”

By now the rest of the group had noticed too, and they’d all stopped to look back. Rick walked back out and stopped beside him, his back to the community now. He sighed heavily and swallowed the tightness in his own throat. “We do this together,” he said, glancing over to try and read Daryl’s expression. It was impassive except for a violent turmoil in his blue eyes.

“Daryl—we need you. We’re all trying this together. We’re all much safer if you’re with us.” He clapped his hand strongly onto Daryl’s shoulder and the archer ducked his head, clearly wrestling with tidal waves of thoughts and emotions. “Come on. With us.”

The muscle in his jaw twitched as he ground his teeth together.

“Come on.”

Finally, his boots started to move and he crossed the threshold of the gate into Alexandria.

_ _ _ _ _ _

“You oughta come in. Take some sleep.” It was Maggie’s voice behind him on the porch.

Daryl stubbed out his cigarette on the step next to him. “I can’t,” he drawled, so quietly she almost didn’t hear it.

Maggie paced over and sank down next to him on the step, linking her arms around her knees. “I know,” she said, ducking her eyes down toward the sidewalk. “I’m so sorry. I keep thinkin’ it too.”

“What’s that?” Daryl asked, flicking his lighter open and closed.

Maggie lifted her eyes up to the innumerable stars overhead and pulled in a long, slow breath. “That maybe if we’d just gotten here sooner they’d be here to see it.”

Daryl felt like a knife twisted in the middle of his chest. It was so painful he almost doubled forward, but instead he hung his head and tried to breathe through it. When he spoke again, the struggle in his voice, his emotion was clear. “I know what ya’ll think,” Daryl managed.

Maggie glanced over at him and even in only the dim haze from the porch light she could see the glassiness in his blue eyes. “About what?”

“About—about—” He clenched his hand into a fist and pushed his knuckles down on the edge of the step as hard as he could. The pain shot through all his fingers and up his arm. He couldn’t get your name out. He couldn’t say it aloud. “‘Bout what happened,” he finally croaked out. “Ya’ll think she’s—she’s dead. I ain’t stupid. I see the way everybody’s lookin’ at me.”

Maggie’s hand landed on Daryl’s and she gave it a friendly squeeze. “I don’t think that.” Daryl’s eyes snapped up to hers. “I don’t. Because after the prison fell, I knew Glenn was out there. Even when everyone else was thinkin’ the worst, I knew he was alive. And we found each other again.”

Daryl sniffled and ducked his gaze again.

“Don’t ever give up on that, if that’s what you know.” Maggie gave his hand one more squeeze and her footsteps retreated across the porch and back into the house.

Daryl’s eyes lifted up to the night sky, and he hoped somewhere you were looking up at the same stars at the same moment.

_ _ _ _ _ _

About 7 Years Ago

Daryl startled awake in the blackness of his cell.

A dream. It was just a dream reliving old memories. At the farm, the first time you’d shot a deer with a bow and tracked it on your own. You hadn’t even needed him. You’d followed the trail like an old pro. And then after… That’s when it had happened. Everyone else had gone to bed and he was sitting by his fire, his knife in his hands, turning the blade and watching the way the light bounced off the silver edge. And then suddenly—your soft footsteps behind him. He knew their cadence.

“I thought ya went to bed,” he’d said to you. You’d sighed and sat down on the round of wood next to him. He could feel your eyes on his face but he’d stared into the flames instead, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth.

“Nope,” you’d said. You just kept looking at him and he’d finally glanced over with his peripheral vision, barely turning, and it made you laugh. And your laugh made him smile. He’d ducked his head again though. Sometimes you were too bright to look at.

“What’re ya doin’ up still? Had a big day today,” he drawled.

You nodded. “Yeah. I often can’t sleep though.” You thought of the deer, of feeding your family. It had felt good. “It was a good day,” you sighed, moving toward him onto the edge of your round of wood. He’d nodded. It had been a good day. “I want you to know something, Daryl.” His name leaving your lips—it shot electricity through him every time like he’d stepped on a live wire in bare feet. His eyes met yours again. “You’re a leader of this group, even though you don’t feel like it. There are people looking to you.” He’d scoffed and shook his head, pricking his finger on the tip of his knife. “Don’t scoff. It’s true. Rick looks to you. Carol looks to you. And so do I.”

Daryl’s blue eyes met yours again and he watched the way the flickering firelight changed the shadows and highlights on your face. You looked steadily back at him. “And it’s not just because you’re good with a bow.” You suddenly scooted closer to him and smiled. “If it were, you’d be out of the job now because I—I am pretty damn good.” He’d laughed, the corners of his mouth tugging up, shaking his head at you. You were smiling at him. You seemed suddenly nervous and you glanced down at your laced fingers. He stared at the thick fray of eyelashes fanning out toward your cheeks. “I didn’t come over here just to brag about my newfound skills, though,” you said.

Daryl’s heart had jumped. He gulped nervously. “Why’d ya come then?”

Your eyes lifted, a little wide, and looked straight into his. “Daryl—”

He didn’t know what made him do it—maybe just the way you looked at him, the firelight, the stars, something in your voice, the electricity crackling in the air like fork lightning between you and him—but he suddenly dropped down on one knee toward you and was kissing you where you sat on that round of old oak wood, and to his amazement you were kissing him back fervently. Your fingers were in his hair and touching his bare skin, and he was clasping your face with one hand and resting his other hand on the soft skin of your upper arm.

Neither of you said anything for a long moment, but the light was sparking in your eyes and you were smiling at him and then biting your bottom lip. “Do you want to… come lay down with me? Maybe we’ll be able to actually catch some sleep.”

Daryl looked at you, baffled, but he nodded. “Hell yeah.”

It was just a memory, even if it was one of the best ones. He closed his eyes again, trying to empty his mind.

But suddenly in the dark he heard your voice.

“Daryl.”

He shot stiffly upright, pressing his back into the wall. The cold concrete was pressing into all his joints. They were stiff and painful.

“Daryl.” It was your voice again in the darkness.

Nah. Ya ain’t here. Ya ain’t here… I know that. Ya ain’t in here. Ya ain’t here… God, of all the places I hoped I’d find ya, this ain’t it. Ya ain’t in here with him.

Daryl swore you materialized just then, right in front of him. He could see you, see your softness, see the slope of your nose and shape of your lips in the narrow slip of light stealing in underneath the door of his tiny prison.

“No. I’m not in here with him. Or with you.” Your fingers ran down one of the strands of his hair and he could almost feel the gentle tug of it.

So, ‘m dreamin’ again. Or I’m finally batshit insane.

“You’re not broken, Daryl. They can’t break you.” You reached to clasp his face. He swore he could feel the warmth of your hand on his cheek, the light brush of your fingertips.

He couldn’t look away from your mirage. I’m barely hangin’ on in here. I can’t—

“You can. You’re stronger than any of them.”

Daryl felt wetness on his cheeks and realized he was crying. What happened to ya? Just tell me where ya are and I’ll get outta here somehow and I’ll find ya… Just tell me where ya are.

He could see glassiness in your eyes. “Just tell me where ya are!” This time he yelled it and it echoed in his ears, bouncing off the metal all around him.

“You’re going to be okay. Just keep going…” Your fingers were light under his chin and you were smiling back at him.

Don’t leave me. Please, dun leave me in here alone again.

“Hey. I’d never leave you alone. You know I’m always with you, no matter what. Just keep going.”

Y/N. Please—Y/N? Y/N!

More tears broke out over his cheeks, but the vision of you had vanished and he was back in the dark again. A quiet sob escaped him and he punched his fist into the wall until he couldn’t bear it anymore. He fell to the ground in a curled pile and cried as softly as he could until he had nothing left.

_ _ _ _ _ _

About Five Years Ago

“Hi,” Carol emerged out of the brush, ducking beneath a low hanging branch, Dog leading her.

Daryl glanced up at her. “Hey. ‘S’goin’ on?”

She lifted up a small pack. “Nothing. Brought you some supplies.”

He nodded, watching her carefully. “Thanks.” Carol set it down beside the fire and scratched behind Dog’s ears. “Ya wanna tell me why ya really came back out here?” He fiddled with the strap over the handle of his knife.

“Can’t I visit my best friend? Have you found anything?” Carol asked, hazarding a glance up in his direction.

He ducked his head and shrugged. “Not yet. Got more places to check still.”

Carol nodded and went back to petting Dog. He watched her expression darken and tense.

Daryl stiffened. “What? Why dun ya just say it?”

Carol stood up. “Say what?”

“Whatever it is ya really came out here to say,” Daryl said.

Carol sighed. “I just—I wonder who it is you’re really searching for out here. Rick or her or maybe yourself… Daryl, it’s been five years since Atlanta and you haven’t found a single thing… Two years since we lost Rick and—”

Daryl’s jaw clenched and he nodded. “Ya want me to move on with my life, right? Come back, stop bein’ out here. That’s really what ya want.”

Carol looked down at her boots. “I want you to find some peace. I don’t want to lose you out here, okay? I don’t want to lose you because you don’t know when to stop.”

“Peace?” His blue eyes bore into Carol’s. “There ain’t no peace for me, alrigh’? You know what I lost in Atlanta. ‘M glad ya found yer peace, but I dun think that’s gonna happen for me.” He slung his pack on over his back and his expression finally softened some. “Ya ain’t gonna lose me. I just got things to do out here…

_ _ _ _ _ _

One and a Half Years Ago

This was it. Maybe he’d managed to kill Alpha, he still wasn’t sure, but he was going to bleed out here on the floor. His vision was blurry and he fought the blackness creeping in from the edges as best he could.

Your face swam in his mind. Your smile. The texture of your hair between his fingers. The feeling of your silky skin and the curve of your spine when he’d trace his hand down your bare back as you both lay tangled in the sheets. If he was going to die… at least you were the last thing on his mind.

_ _ _ _ _ _

Present Day – Twelve Years After the Outbreak

Daryl opened the door to Maggie’s shipping container. “‘S’all clear. Cole’s on watch.” She nodded and he stepped farther inside. “Hey, ‘m glad yer here. When yer letters stopped, I thought—I dunno. Maybe ya were gone.”

He watched thoughtfully as Maggie finished wrapping the fabric around the gash on her arm. She looked up at him and there was a teary smile on her face. “Ya better sit down, Daryl.”

His stomach twisted. “…Why?”

“‘Cause I got somethin’ to tell ya.”

#daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon twd #the walking dead #twd fanfics #daryl dixon drabbles #daryl imagines #daryl x y/n #fanfics #writers of tumblr #twd drabbles #Carol Peletier #maggie rhee #Rick Grimes

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chimerahyperfix · 7 months ago

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Being frozen in time definitely does something to you. Physically it cages you. Mentally it throws you into the longest dream you could ever have. It's not comfortable-- far from it in fact-- but you've grown to look forwards to it, when you loose. It's better than being mashed to dark paste at least.

You're frozen right now, in fact. Waiting in silence for time to loop back. Stuck with your thoughts and a vauge feeling of a dream. The house is around you and you're moving through it. Empty rooms and endless hallways, curling and twisting in ways that make them feel alive despite the lack of any living thing that isn't you. No sad monsters, no frozen bodies, no dark stains. There doesn't seem to be an exit.

The dreams you have when frozen seem to correlate to how you're doing emotionally. Most of them have been lost to time, like most things in your life now. Dreams, wounds, emotional bonds; everything is turning back with you, and that’s started to do something to you, because now you can predict the actions of those around you with quite a bit of accuracy. You can recall little bits of things, but the further back you go is just static. There was a bunch of dumb things that you can’t piece back together anymore, there were times with those you love, there was endless rage flowing through your very being, and there was this. The desperation. The empty halls of the very House you’ve worked so hard to protect.

You want out.

You've kept count of how many times you've been frozen. How many times you've died. How many loops. 61 is the counter and it's far, far too many times to relive the same day over again. You grew tired of the monotony by the tenth go around. Twenty five felt like a stab wound. Forty, like you were being split in two. Big 6-0 felt like drowning. You don't feel real anymore.

But that's fine! You can still see the good in this, if you stretch your imagination like taffy, as far as it'll go. It's better to be just you, just one person, than everyone else! You can live with the weight of the country on your shoulders for a bit longer, if only to keep it off of Euphrasie's. You’re doing this for her! For everyone. You can do it for a bit longer. You just need to find the King’s weakness, or something. Make a more powerful potion, or scrap together the materials to make a second craft bomb, or, or something! You’ll find it soon enough. You’re smart! You can do this!

You have to.

You turn down the hallway. Find yourself on an entirely different floor. Just as much of a ghost town. Just ice and cold and tiredness, your breath forming clouds in the air. That’s fine. This is just a dream or something, anyway. You’ll wake back up at your desk any time, with the looming vials of all sorts of toxic stuff you keep drinking that you crabbing neglected to put away because you didn’t think time would crabbing loop, because realistically, WHY would you assume that would happen? Preposterous! Ignore the burning feeling in your throat and the smell of sugar and push on. Wait for it to start all over again.

Because it has to be you, doesn’t it? You wished for this, or something. You don’t remember. It was a long time ago. It has to be you, because only you have the power. It HAS to be you, because who else would it be? Euphie? She’s already got enough on her hands. Mirabelle? You’d rather die. It’s better you do this than the ones you love.

It has to be you.

it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be

It's sucks, having to be the one to do it. Your limit was a long time ago.

You can't do this forever.

#isat #in stars and time #isat au #isat claude #claude looping au #come get y’all’s food ig #girl is reaching despair point! smiles #a decent sized one so got the big read more split #I keep cooking. there’s smoke in the kitchen #like genuinely I’m on fire this is like? over 1000 words in the last week with this au? shit #the motivation I have to write this au is absolutely CRAZY like where did all this energy come from?#anyways here’s another round of me bullshitting my way through timeloop writing LMAOOO #I am Making Shit Up for 99% of this au lmao. minimal knowledge haver #I’m gonna make an actual fic at this rate lmao. cracking open the google doc #I should join the discord at this rate actually. get over the anxiety hurdle and run at yall at max speed #when I get in there yall will NOT be safe lol I will not shut up.#chimera writes #isat spoilers #<- just in case? I’m stretching it this time I think?

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miabebe · 6 months ago

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I Am What I Am (VII)

A man of the shadows and a woman who belonged in the skies - fate could not have brought two more different people together. But was this fate or was this a choice?

Pairing - Im Changkyun x OC, Kim Mingyu x OC

Word Count - 7.2K

Warnings - Mentions of death, murder, mafia, guns, bullets, violence

Chapter summary - Telling the truth is easy for more reasons than one - there's no need to fear keeping up with a facade, there's no need to carry a weight in your heart. But Na bi also learns, that without the burden of it, there's now room to feel a lot more.

| Previous Chapter | Masterlist |

Na bi looked around the room as the evening sun poured in.

Something about this space had always felt a little off to her, like it was strangely antiquated but now that she knew it belonged to Changkyun’s mother, she finally saw sense. It didn’t seem uninhabited though – all her things were arranged and laid out as though she never left, as though they were waiting for her to come back. Seeing the way he seemed to hang on to every small thing that belonged to her, Na bi realised how hard it must’ve been for Changkyun to part from her, from someone he loved so much. Na bi knew how that felt…..

She stared at the picture frame on the dressing table - A father, a mother, two girls who looked like they were the older ones, and a small boy with a shy grin, hiding in the protective arms of the whole family. They smiled so beautifully, so happily; Na bi felt jealousy rear its ugly head in her heart. Tearing her eyes away from it, she ran her hand along all the dresses that were hanging in the closet, feeling the soft material under her fingertips. As her eyes searched for the one she found herself in the day she came here, the door creaked.

Holding her breath, she leaned back to see Changkyun walking in, luckily not noticing her presence - he simply kicked off his shoes, unbuttoned his jacket, walked straight up to the bed and fell into it, melting into the softness of the duvets. Considering she had been acting a bit cold towards him and was also trespassing a personal space, Na bi tried her best to seem invisible, staying hidden from sight by the wardrobe, determined to leave only after he did. But when minutes passed and he didn’t move, she crept out of her hiding place and walked over to him.

His eyes were shut, lips slightly parted, already dragged into a deep slumber, as he held on to a faded blue pillow tightly in his arms, like he was afraid it would run away. Na bi’s eyes skirted over his features as she pushed back the strand of hair falling into his face, eliciting a groan in his sleep, making him turn to his side, curling up like a child against his mother. Sighing, she quietly pulled the curtains shut, and slowly stepped out of the door, stopping by to take one last look at him, Mrs. Lee’s words echoing in her ears – The only woman Changkyun ever loved was his mother. Her name was Na bi too.

“What do you tell him to let you come to the hospital so often?” Seokmin munched on a packet of nuts as Na bi settled into the couch across him. “Is it not strange to him that you keep coming here despite being suspended?”

“I don’t know, he doesn’t really ask.” Na bi confessed, lost in thought. “I did keep a bunch of believable excuses ready just in case he did say something but he never does? Besides..... we’re not on talking terms anyways.”

“Because he said you’re not friends?” Seokmin raised an eyebrow. “You’re being a child.”

“Because I don’t know what’s left to say to him anymore.” She muttered. “Admittedly I was being petty in the beginning but now, I don’t know. It felt a lot easier when I wasn’t sure what exactly was going on between us but now that I have the clarity that there is nothing, it just feels weird to be around him, I don’t know how to explain it.”

“And I don’t understand it.” Seokmin’s shoulders slumped. “And I also don’t know how to help.”

“You don’t need to, Min-ah." She leaned back into the couch. "I just need to figure out how to break the ice again, slip in that truth serum and get whatever information I need out of him.”

Seokmin nodded, grabbing another bag of snacks. “When you say information, are you talking about Ana or about what Mingyu wants you to find?”

“Both.” Na bi sighed. “I need to know what exactly happened with Ana. If he had no hand in her death-”

“-which you believe-”

“-then I will have to find some other crime or some other proof or some other way Mingyu can get to him.” Na bi ignored Seokmin’s interjection. “To be honest, I think I've cracked most of it, I just need to fill the gaps.”

“You have?” Seokmin sat up, curiosity piqued.

“I tried to put myself in his shoes and wondered what I would do.” Na bi got up and paced around the room. “His identity is already a mystery, no one can find him anyways. In the off chance that someone does discover who he is or what he looks like, he's not easy to catch because he does not come out in the open. On the rare occasions that he does, I'm not sure how he manages to skirt about the city undetected but then again, considering he was attacked the last time he was out and about, maybe that's his weak point."

Seokmin hummed in agreement.

"But if he's not in the city, he's on his island, cut off from the world, making him hidden and unreachable."

“And do you think his headquarters are somewhere there too?”

Na bi shook her head. “If he truly is smart, he wouldn’t keep everything in one place. I think…. I think there’s a neighboring island, one not too far away from where he stays…..” Na bi bit her lip thinking harder about all she had pieced together. “As far as where both these islands are is concerned, I haven’t figured out yet but once I do, if he wishes, Mingyu can even go there and get what he wants.”

“But you’re sure they’re islands?” Seokmin raised an eyebrow. “It’s just, you seem to travel by road every day, surely you would have noticed if you just looked out….”

“I never get to see anything outside; the glass is tinted and….” She trailed off lost in thought. How indeed did Wonho cross the sea in a car? Na bi didn’t remember seeing a bridge of any sort during her explorations? Then again she hadn’t scoured the full island yet.

“Maybe because it’s not an island.”

Na bi turned at Mingyu’s voice, finding him leaning against the doorframe of Seokmin’s office.

“You think I’m wrong?” Na bi crossed her arms as Mingyu walked in.

“No.” He sighed, putting his hands on her shoulders softly. “I don't think you can be wrong but what I think doesn't matter. I’m not the one who you need to convince.”

“If it’s Jihoon then I know he has a thick head but I can get through to him if he listens-”

“This isn’t just about Jihoon.” Mingyu spoke from between his teeth. “Na bi, if I.M really is on an island, the only way to find him is to launch a search operation in international waters. Do you have any idea how many protocols and government approvals that requires? We'll probably even need the navy to get involved-”

“You don’t need to go so far.” Na bi muttered. “I can figure out the location on my own.”

“Really?” Mingyu’s voice was not as soft anymore. “It’s been 3 weeks and you’ve not managed much.”

Na bi’s lips set into a hard line. Before she could say anything, Mingyu’s hands ran down her arms, rubbing them gently.

“I’m not saying you’re not capable. I’m saying it’s perhaps beyond your hands now, considering he doesn’t seem to be communicating with you in the way we hoped.” He looked at her keenly. “Did the truth serum also not help?”

“I didn’t get a chance to use it yet.” Na bi looked up at him. “Let me give it a shot, I just need some time-“

“Time is what I don’t have Na bi.” Mingyu ran his hands through his hair frustrated. “I gave my assurance at the NIS that by the time your suspension is over, we’d have made a breakthrough in I.M’s case.”

“Well my suspension is not over, there’s still-”

“Seven days.” Mingyu glanced at his phone as it chimed in his hand, frowning at it before he looked up at her. “Fuck I need to go but Na bi, seven days…. that’s all you have.”

Na bi watched wordlessly as he planted a quick goodbye kiss on her forehead and rushed off to whatever urgency he had to cater, busy mumbling at his phone.

“Seven days.” Seokmin walked up to her, still munching on his snacks. “How are you gonna do it if you won’t even talk to him?”

“I will.” Na bi took a deep breath determined. It wasn’t just for Ana or Mingyu that she needed answers.

The only woman Changkyun ever loved was his mother. Her name was Na bi too.

“There’s a lot of things I need answers for.”

It was the sound of rustling papers that woke Na bi up.

Eyes fluttering open she raised her head, frowning at the newfound weight of a quilt on her. As her eyes adjusted to the dimness, they fell on the man sitting at the table beside her, his focus intent on the papers scattered all over the surface. He squinted at them in the subtle light of the candle beside him, and the occasional bursts of luminescence from his trademark lighter. As she sat up, he turned, face instantly softening at the sight of her.

“Sorry, was I being too loud? I was trying not to…”

“No, that’s fine, it is your room….” Na bi swung her legs off the daybed, slightly confused as to how she ended up here. Last she knew, she was sitting on the chair waiting for him to come back. “I’m sorry, it was warm, I think I just dozed off?”

Changkyun gave her a short nod, turning his attention back to his sheets as Na bi walked up to him, grabbing one of his strewn pencils to do her hair up in a bun, not noticing the way the edges of his lips curled into a smile at an old memory. As she peered over his shoulder mirroring his squint, her stomach let out a terribly timed, ungodly sound of hunger and before she could cover it up, Changkyun pushed the glass of orange juice on his table towards her, eyes still focused on his work.

Na bi panicked knowing exactly what was in that glass and why she brought it here.

“Oh no that’s ok, I brought that for you.” She fumbled, speaking fast. “I realized I was being rude yesterday, I brought it as a, sort of peace offering.”

“Then you should have perhaps brought me my favorite, not yours.”

Mentally slapping herself Na bi let out an unconvincing chuckle. “Perhaps I should have but that was the only drink available….”

“Have it.” He pushed it further towards her. “You slept through dinner.”

“It’s ok.” Na bi insisted, her muddled brain unable to think of a quick escape. “I’m not really that hungry.”

“You forget your stomach has spoken for you Ms.Baek.” Changkyun finally tore his eyes away from his work. “It's not much of a peace offering if you reject me twice for the same thing.”

Gulping under his intense gaze, Na bi forced a smile and a soft thank you as she reached for the glass, trying not to let her hands shake as she downed it like a shot. Knowing Mingyu's truth serum would show its effects on her any time now, Na bi knew it was best to leave as soon as possible.

As she readied herself to bid goodnight and bolt, Changkyun spoke.

“Is there any other reason I find you in my room in my absence yet again?”

Na bi shook her head quickly before she slowed down, turning it into a nod. There was at least one answer she could try to get out of him tonight.

“Yeah, there was something I wanted to ask…”

Changkyun raised an eyebrow prompting her to continue but she trailed off, frowning at the dozens of maps laid out on his table.

“That’s my hospital.” She pointed as Changkyun followed her line of vision. “And that’s the club that’s around the corner but…. I didn’t know there was a path between there?”

“No one does.” Changkyun dragged his finger along the route. “It’s underground.”

Na bi’s lips parted in surprise. No wonder these maps seemed foreign to her, filled with lines and routes of different colours, spanning across the city.

“Is this underground too?” Moving closer to him, she pointed at another unfamiliar one marked in red.

“Not yet.” Changkyun’s hand reached for the pencil in her hair, spilling her locks over her shoulder as he drew over the lines. “I’m having it made as we speak. Wonho disagrees but I think having one near the Han river would help.”

He looked up at her, eyes briefly roaming over the features of her face, down to the way her hair curled at her collarbone. Na bi was too focused on what was before her to notice the way his gaze lingered on her.

“It looks like it leads to the Incheon port?” Her eyes followed the path. “A route like that must make it easier to transport things.”

“And faster.” Changkyun added. “And undetected.”

Na bi stared at him, a realization dawning. “Is this how you and your men move in the city without getting caught? Underground?”

“Everything in the underworld happens underground, Ms. Baek.” Changkyun smiled. “It’s quite literal, I don’t know how no one has realized.”

“How indeed.” Na bi wondered, muttering. “It’s plain but brilliant.”

Changkyun smiled like he was pleased with himself.

“Over a century ago, when the Japanese had begun to infiltrate Korea, thousands of secret routes had been dug up all over the city for the Japanese army to move with discretion. After they left, many of those were discovered and shut, but rumor is, some of those are still hidden out there.” He pulled the map closer to himself, placing it beside another much older one. “For years my men searched for these abandoned routes but they’ve not been easy to find. Which is why I’m having new ones built under the city - it’s not easier but it's been more feasible than pointless searches.”

“So you… search for and build roads?” Na bi tucked her hair behind her ear, confused at the prospect of Changkyun doing such odd jobs. “I had no idea.”

“That’s because you never asked.” Changkyun leaned back against his chair.

Na bi turned to him, leaning against the table, crossing her arms.

“Because you would have answered anything I asked?”

“Anything.”

It wasn’t just how quick he was to say that but also how confident he sounded. She raised an eyebrow,

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

In the sudden, loud silence that fell upon the room, Na bi blinked at him, wondering how to test the waters.

“Are we on an island?”

“Yes.”

Na bi blinked stupidly at how calmly and quickly he answered a question she took over seven days to figure out. All she had to do was ask?

“Does that mean this island is connected to the city….. underground?”

“Underwater.” Changkyun corrected. “The tunnel from here to Seoul was the first route we laid. It was what birthed the idea of bringing our business underground.”

Oh.

“Are your headquarters also somewhere underground?”

“Not exactly.” Changkyun cocked his head like he was disappointed at the assumption. “It’s foolish to put all your cards in one place, Ms. Baek. The headquarters is on another island, about 5 miles from here.”

Bingo. She had been so right.

“And that’s where all your men are? When they’re not constructing roads?”

Changkyun scoffed, amused. “Yes but that’s just one of the many things my men are involved in. The least significant one in fact, as a favor for an old acquaintance. There’s a lot more we do.”

“Like what?”

“You are quite familiar with my line of work already Ms. Baek. You’ve been in the middle of it all.”

“So stalking, kidnapping, threatening” Na bi counted on her fingers. “What else?”

“Killing.”

Changkyun spun the lighter in his hand.

A shiver ran down Na bi’s spine, words struggling to leave her mouth.

Chankgyun noticed, cocking his head at her.

“Do you know what power is, Ms. Baek?”

Na bi shook her head in response.

“The underworld is made of a lot more people than you imagine - people of high social standing, people with influence, people with money.... but they are powerless. Because anything in this world can be bought, Ms. Baek but not loyalty…. loyalty is earned.” Changkyun played with the small flame of his lighter. “And I earned it. It’s the loyalty of my men which gives me power. I have people willing to do the job, any job, be it build a road, take a life, or give their own to protect those important to me.”

Na bi felt her heart race behind her ribs.

“Do you now understand what power is Ms. Baek?” Changkyun smiled. “I am.”

“Is that why…..” She racked her brains, putting everything together. “Everything about you is so hidden? Your identity, where you live, all of it? Because... you're sort of the winding key to the underworld?”

Changkyun nodded.

“Is that also why Ana figuring things out about you is such a concern?”

Changkyun nodded again.

“Did you…” Na bi stared at the ground, trying to sound as natural as possible. “You left that day saying you had a lead on her. Did you find her?”

“I did.” Changkyun confessed. “Not the day I left though, we found her a few days after. She….” He shifted, voice softening a little. “I'm sorry but she was dead by the time we reached her.”

“You found her dead?” Na bi frowned. “You mean she was dead already?”

“There were bullet wounds on her back but we’re not sure who’s responsible. There was no one at the scene; no clues either.”

Changkyun gazed keenly at Na bi’s face lost in thought.

Na bi stared back at him wondering why the stories she was told were not aligning. She had seen the pictures Mingyu showed her, she had seen the wrist cuts….but Mingyu had also unknowingly mentioned bullet wounds. One of them was lying….

“You seem unfazed.”

Na bi cleared her throat, pulling out of her thoughts. “In Seoul when someone is missing for this long, it's only sensible to consider this outcome.” She slid onto the table behind her. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I was worried about the kind of toll it might take on you.”

Na bi’s lips parted in surprise. No one had ever said something like that to her before.

“I’m strong enough to handle things like this.”

And she truly was. Na bi knew she was tougher than most and she was used to being treated so too - like when Mingyu told her about Ana’s death without caring how it affected her. Or when Jihoon told to infiltrate Changkyun’s world without considering how hard it might be on her. Or when Seokmin gave her idea after idea to do the job but never once asked her how she was doing. She wasn’t used to being treated like this, like someone…..like someone capable of being hurt.

“You are strong, but you don’t have to be Ms. Baek.”

Na bi looked away before she gave in to the urge to throw herself into his arms.

“Though what’s interesting is that you’re not as affected by her death as someone close to her would be.” Changkyun stood up, drawing her attention to him once again as he stepped closer. “Yet you did all you could to help her, including putting yourself in danger. Another person might think it's because of your humane nature or because you’re brave enough to go through with it but I don’t think so….. So if its okay to ask, why do you care so much Ms. Baek?”

He was doing it once again. Reading her perfectly right like always. Asking her questions to which she couldn’t bring herself to give answers.

She would be a fool to let it get to her again.

“What if I asked you the same? Why do you care about me?.......” She gripped the edge of the table to stop her hands from shaking, finally voicing the one thing she had been dying to ask him. “Is…. is it because I share the same name as your mother? Do I..... remind you of her?”

Changkyun paused for a little, like he was trying to process the fact that she knew.

“Yes.” He confessed. “And no.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s one of the reasons you got my attention,” He slid his hands in his pocket. “But it’s not the only reason I care.”

What other reasons do you have?

Na bi wanted to ask but she didn’t. Perhaps because she knew if she asked, he would tell her and Na bi wasn’t ready to hear the answer just yet. Not when she already had a hundred things on her mind. Like the fact that he didn’t kill Ana. He didn’t do the one thing she had constantly been using as a reason to push herself away from him. He didn’t break what he promised her. On the contrary, he offered her protection, he offered her safety, he cared more than anyone ever did….. And it wasn’t just because of the sentimentality attached to her name.

“Are you okay Ms. Baek?”

Changkyun peered at her, frowning.

“No.” Na bi shook her head, genuinely not. “Why is it that though you answer everything I ask, it only makes things harder to understand?”

Changkyun didn’t say anything to that.

All this while Na bi had thought it was difficult to figure him out but now she realized, deep down, she didn’t really want to. Yes, given that she was so attracted to him, she was terrified of learning things that would make her ashamed of her choices and drive her away, but she was even more scared of learning things that would make her succumb and want to stay. Because all that heart racing in his presence, that she could pass off as a phase, that she could live with, but if it began to ache in his absence…..that she could not bear, that she could not afford. She had to end this before it went somewhere she could never come back from.

“I’ll be gone in a week and I don’t think we’ll ever see each other again after that.” She slid off the table pulling away from him in more ways than one. “There’s no reason to and even if there is, I don’t think we should see each other again. I….. I think it’s best if we kept our distance Changkyun.”

And he didn’t stop her as she walked away.

Na bi felt like an idiot sitting in a box.

She was surrounded by the tinted glasses of Wonho’s car, making yet another trip to the city, hoping it was her last one. She was supposed to feel proud of herself for all that she had figured out yet somehow she knew it wasn’t enough - Changkyun might have confirmed her theories, but she still had no proof of it, the kind of proof Mingyu had asked. Her plan was originally to record his answers on the phone Mingyu had given her but Na bi just could not find it. Deciding that she had perhaps left it in Seokmin’s office she made a mental note to take it from him for future use.

When the car slowed down, Na bi knew they had reached the hospital, preparing herself as she slung her bag around her shoulder, taking a deep sigh before Wonho opened the door. He held out an umbrella as he stood under another, half drenching in yet another one of Seoul’s uncharacteristic rains. Na bi took it as she stepped out, muttering she would be back soon, before trotting away towards Seokmin’s office, navigating through the crowd of the hospital. It wasn’t uncommon for the hospital to be more packed on rainy days but it was somewhat strange that so many people were gathered right at the lobby, making Na bi slow her pace to look around at what everyone seemed to be whispering loudly about. She followed their eyes to the tv screen above.

“Seventeen people have been found dead in the suburban area of Itaewon, prompting higher vigilance of police authorities after nearly 12 years of a crime free city. This is the first time since WipeOut in 2011 that violence of such extremity is being reported in Seoul, with this being the third incident of an attack in just a week. All citizens are cautioned that a dangerous criminal might be on the loose and are advised to stay indoors after nightfall. Please report any and all suspicious activity to 99….”

Eyes shaking, Na bi took a step back and another, running out into the rain, approaching Wonho who was taking a smoke near his car, frowning at the sight of her.

“Where is Changkyun?”

Wonho hissed. “Don’t take his name-”

“Where is he?” Na bi raised her voice impatiently. “There was an attack in Itaewon earlier today, where did he leave to in the morning?”

“To Itaewon��..” Wonho trailed off, quickly grabbing his walkie talkie from inside the car, speaking into it, pacing around.

Na bi watched him recalling the last time she saw Changkyun, right before he left in the morning. As she descended down the stairs, he raised his head up from his breakfast, giving her one glance and leaving before she even reached the last step, before he even finished his meal. Mrs. Lee called out to him but he left wordlessly, giving Na bi the distance she had asked him. When Mrs. Lee glared at her as she approached, Na bi shrugged.

“We’re not fighting anymore.”

“I know.” The older woman sighed. “This is worse.”

“No one is responding." Wonho returned to her, breaking her reverie, looking just as troubled as she was. "The network around the city is down, perhaps because of the rain….”

Swearing under her breath, Na bi opened the door of the car and sat in the passenger seat unlike her usual place in the rear, much to Wonho’s hesitation.

“Get in Wonho, we need to go.”

Knowing he had better things to worry about, Wonho obeyed, walking over to the other side and shutting the door as he sat, pressing the pedal hard.

Na bi had been in way more stressful situations in her life but this was perhaps the most terrifying hour she had ever spent - an hour not knowing. Not knowing where Changkyun was, how he was and most importantly not knowing why she cared so much. That was why the moment Wonho slowed down the car to park at the driveway, Na bi opened the door and left, ignoring his disgruntled scolding from behind. It was only when she ran over in the pouring rain, burst into the house and caught sight of Changkyun standing in the middle of the living room, perfectly fine that Na bi finally took a breath of relief.

Mrs. Lee called out to her as she turned to see the older woman rushing with a bunch of towels, wrapping her drenched, shivering body. Wonho followed close behind, not nearly as wet as she was but enough to be a target of Mrs. Lee’s annoyance for drenching her carpets. Changkyun immediately turned to Wonho, who rushed over to him, the two of them discussing something in deep tones as Na bi’s eyes found the bags by the door. As Mrs.Lee thrusted a glass of warm milk in Na bi’s hand, she turned to her, frowning.

“Is he going somewhere?”

Mrs. Lee looked at the two men conversing busily. “It seems the situation in the city is bad right now. He’s moving to the base till things sort out.”

Sipping on the milk Na bi wondered if that was the only reason he was leaving.

She got her answer when Changkyun gave Mrs. Lee a short nod of goodbye but didn’t spare her even a glance as he left, Wonho following him closely.

Na bi gazed at the waves of the ocean playing its own little game of catch with the sand of the beach while the sky began to morph into shades of pinks and oranges, the sun rising out of its home in the waters. Walking along the coast, feeling the cold sand beneath her feet, Na bi submerged herself in the thoughts heavy on her mind.

She hadn’t slept all too well in nearly three days, spending most of her time sprawled on the sofa of the living room mindlessly. When Mrs. Lee asked her why she didn’t go back to her room Na bi simply claimed it was too cold for her. The older woman must know it was a lie but she didn’t say anything, letting Na bi stay miserably on the couch, secretly hoping to just get a glance of Changkyun if he ever passed by.

And she did too, in the wee hours last morning as he stepped out of his room and headed straight out of the house. And also once the afternoon before, as he grabbed a bite from the kitchen and quickly spoke to Mrs. Lee about something before he left. Na bi knew she was the one who asked him for space, that he was doing exactly what she asked of him yet she was strangely hurt by the distance.

It was even worse when Wonho told her he couldn’t take her to the city for the next few days given how risky things were right now. That meant neither could Na bi meet Mingyu and dump all that she knew so far onto him, nor could she talk to Changkyun and find out anything more. Hence over the last three days, in the event of her joblessness, the couch had become her best friend. She only finally got out of it a few hours ago, around midnight, to the sound of an annoying, continuous hiccuping.

Raising her head from the warmth she had sank into, Na bi’s eyes fell on Mrs. Lee sitting in the kitchen, a bottle of wine in her hand, her expression dazed. Both shocked and surprised, Na bi quickly pulled herself up and walked over, slowly sitting next to the clearly tipsy woman. Mrs. Lee looked at her with red, wet eyes.

“I don’t understand why people enjoy alcohol. It's horrid.”

Na bi gently removed the half empty bottle from her grip and set it on the counter. “Why’re you drinking it if you don’t like it?”

“This is the only day in the year I drink.” She slurred. “Helps me sleep.”

“What’s keeping you awake?”

“The date.” She pointed at the calendar hung on the wall. “The terrible things that happened 12 years ago.”

Na bi remained quiet letting the other woman ramble away.

“There were so many people that day, men in black uniforms storming into the house, bullets firing everywhere… the screams, the horror.....” She trailed away. “Being the one left behind, that hurts more than anything. I don’t know how Changkyun handles the grief of losing his whole family in a day… I don’t think he ever has.”

Na bi recalled Changkyun's words about his scar.

Hit the corner of the table when I was running away.

Running away from what?

The people who killed my family.

12 years ago…. He must’ve been a mere boy. Na bi’s life too changed for good 12 years ago….

Pulling out of her thoughts when Na bi turned to Mrs. Lee, the wine had already knocked her out, her head rolled back against the chair, softly snoring. She grabbed her blanket from the couch and covered the sleeping woman before leaving the house quietly, walking over to the beach. Slipping out of her shoes, she buried her feet in the sand, walking along the waters as dawn approached.

I don’t know how Changkyun handles the grief of losing his whole family in a day. I don’t think he ever has.

Neither had she.

Reluctant to relive the memories she had stowed away deep in her mind, Na bi tried to walk mindlessly. She was successful for the most part, covering nearly the whole coast over the last few hours, returning where she had begun from, her shoes far away like two tiny white specks in the sand, except standing right beside, staring at them was Changkyun.

Na bi’s tracks stopped as she looked across the distance at the suited man before her. He looked like he always did, calm and stoic, but Na bi knew there was a storm going on inside him. She could tell that a very happy family was broken years ago today, that he was broken yet she wondered how he seemed so put together - Na bi for one wasn’t this composed when she lost who she loved most in the world.

She remembered the night Changkyun had asked about her sister, the night they drank together, slowly realizing that was not the only time she might have mentioned her. As Changkyun tore his gaze away from her shoes and watched the ocean instead, hands tucked in his pockets, Na bi felt a frown creep on her face along with a very blurred, forgotten memory from the night he first dropped her home…..

“Are you going to leave now?” Na bi stared at Changkyun who was still standing by the door. “Stay.” "I can't Ms. Baek.” He shook his head. “I shouldn't, I must go." "Why does everyone want to leave me?” Na bi’s lower lip quivered, eyes threatening to fill with tears. “Why does nobody want to stay? Am I that bad?" "You're....” Changkyun’s gaze softened as he walked in, stripping out of his dinner jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders. “You're quite an enigma Ms. Baek. Perhaps people aren't deserving of you." "Feels more like I'm the undeserving one.” Na bi sniffed. “I'm not even worthy of a goodbye, why else would my sister leave without even telling me?" She held his hand, looking up at him as he stood before her. "I hate goodbyes, but I hate not getting one even more…. Don’t leave without one." "I won't." "Promise?" “Promises are empty words Ms. Baek.” “Not for me.” Changkyun stared at her for a bit. Then he nodded.

Na bi felt something tighten in her chest at the memory.

“I’ll leave when you sleep.”

“I thought you left.” “Didn’t you ask me not to?”

“I didn’t want to leave without letting you know.”

She didn’t even realize when her lips curled into a small smile or when the tear rolled down her cheek, surprising her, pulling her out of her thoughts. Wiping it, Na bi stared at the stain on her fingers, hand slightly shaking. She wasn’t usually the kind to cry, she didn’t even know why she was so overwhelmed, why she was so at peace and disturbed at the same time. Sighing, she looked up to see Changkyun turned towards her, his face too far for her to read.

The second their eyes met Na bi felt like time had come to a strange halt where everything around seemed to move too fast but nothing seemed to move at all, like she wanted the moment to end right now but also drag to eternity, like his presence meant everything and nothing, all at once.

As Na bi continued to lose the battle inside her, Changkyun broke his gaze, taking a step back to walk away when she finally took a step towards him, and then another. He stopped, watching her make her way to him, slip on her shoes and stare out at the sea, the way he was a while ago. When he resumed his act of leaving, Na bi spoke up at last.

“My sister’s name is Bit na.”

Changkyun looked over his shoulder as did Na bi.

“Bit na, Na bi, yeah that was on purpose.” Looking at the waves again, Na bi smiled at the memory of her sister and her playing in waters like these. “Baek Bit na, Baek Na bi, white light and white butterfly, that’s who we were.”

Na bi took a step back, standing next to Changkyun, who continued to look at her.

“I don’t know where she is now. I don’t know where she’s been for the last, almost 12 years.” Na bi confessed, losing her fond smile. “And as for what happened between us…”

She flattened the sand by her feet and sat down, looking up at him. “Do you have some time?”

It felt like eternity passed before Changkyun finally sat beside her, shoulders barely touching, but his presence heavy, like a comforting weight. Yet Na bi felt her voice struggling to leave her throat.

“Ms. Baek,” Changkyun started softly. “You don’t have to….”

Na bi shook her head. “People think it’s painful to share something that hurt you - it’s actually a whole lot more painful to keep it all in. And I’ve been doing that since I was four.”

She looked at him for a bit before she continued.

“Maryland orphanage - that’s where I was dropped off a few hours after my birth. They said it was a teen pregnancy – he wasn’t there, she was scared, the usual scene. My earliest memory is playing in that backyard. I was so happy there - there were so many kids my age, I had so many friends, we used to do everything together - it was like a never ending sleepover. That was until everyone slowly started getting adopted. Not me though. I didn’t get adopted for a long time, I don’t think I was the cutest kid.”

“I doubt that.” Changkyun muttered, making Na bi chuckle.

“Six years I watched people near and dear to me run at the name of a new home, leaving behind nothing but a goodbye. Back then I thought goodbyes were the worst thing ever, each one felt like a heartbreak.”

She smiled, thinking about how dramatic she was.

“When I was 10, a family finally wanted me….. I’m not sure ‘wanted’ is the right word, they just took me in. We lived in Jeju, somewhere near a sea like this, where it was quiet and isolated. My parents, the Baeks, weren't really the best adults. Yeah they’d feed me and clothe me but they’d also fight, all day and all night - verbal abuses, accusations, disappointments, sometimes things would be hurled across the room too. Every time they’d start, I’d run out of the house - it wasn’t like they cared about me enough to notice. I used to go to the sea and every time it was like a brutal reminder of that I went from being lonely to being lonelier. That I had found a house, not a home…… until the next summer.”

Na bi looked at the waves creeping closer to them.

“I didn’t even know they had another daughter till she came home during her vacation. She studied at a boarding school in Seoul - the typical rebel child they had given up on. They didn’t have any pictures of her anywhere, they refused to acknowledge her presence, they didn’t even tell her that they adopted me. I thought she would be like them, unbothered and unaffected by my existence but Changkyun she…”

She turned to him, recalling all the memories.

“I was looking for a sliver of someone’s heart, just a little space to fit in but she gave me all of it and more. She showed me what it was like to be loved in the best way possible. The ocean I once hated was where we would hang out for hours, home forgotten, the world forgotten - just the two of us and our little happy space of sandcastles and playing tag. She was so afraid of me being lonely again, she dropped out of boarding school and enrolled into the one I studied in. She never left my side, she was always there, we did everything together and then suddenly one day..... she was not.”

Picking the skin off her fingers Na bi let out a deep breath.

“It was a few days after I turned 15…..she was simply gone. No letter, no note, no explanation, she was just….gone. The Baeks said she ran away, like she always did when she wanted to act out. I thought she’d come back for me. I waited and waited and waited by the ocean but she didn’t. Days passed, months passed, years even, there was no trace of her. When I was 17, I no longer had to live in that house - the moment I enrolled into med school, I cleared my things, left them and moved to Seoul. To date, I don’t know where she is or why she left or if……”

She’s even alive or not.

“Goodbyes are hard but not getting one is heartbreaking. It means being stuck lifelong in a limbo of not knowing whether to wait or to move on, of not knowing whether it was your fault or not, if you could have fixed it or not. That’s why when it came to Ana I…..” Na bi sighed, playing with the sand by her feet. “You asked me why I care…. It’s because she reminds me of my sister - they have the same light, same brightness in them. That’s why I could never bring myself to get close to Ana - her existence is a haunting reminder of what I lost yet there was a strange comfort I used to get just watching her from a distance. That’s why protecting her, knowing what happened ....that's why it's all so important to me.”

Na bi hugged her knees, rocking softly.

“I’m sorry.” Changkyun finally spoke. “I wish things didn’t happen the way they did….”

“Me too.” She sighed. “Being left behind is hard, but it gives you a choice, between being a survivor and a living corpse. I tried so hard to be the former, maybe I even seem like one but only I know that I’m still stuck. That I’m still a 15 year old waiting on a beach, frozen in time, waiting for her to untag me.”

Changkyun watched as she tucked her hair behind her ears, letting out a deep breath as she turned to him. “And as far as the case number of my first patient is concerned, I really don’t remember.”

He laughed, shaking his head, as Na bi moved closer to him, looking at him softly. “I know there’s a burden you carry on your heart too. If you ever want to share it, I want you to know I’m there.”

“Thank you.” He tucked back the hair that kept escaping in the wind, finger softly caressing her face. “Don’t worry, it may not seem like it, but I am the former; I'm a survivor.”

Na bi nodded, not wanting to push him any further today of all days, choosing to slip her arm around his waist, burying her face in his neck. Changkyun wrapped his arm around her shoulder, holding her close as she felt his breath soft against her forehead. As the sun rose higher in the sky and the waves crept closer, Na bi who was always hyper aware of what she felt, didn’t realize one thing.

Her heart, which always used to race in her chest in his presence was now beating steadily......like it had finally, finally found peace.

Next chapter

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queserasora · 2 months ago

Text

CW: alcohol consumption, nudity, mild/minor profanity, oral sex male giving female receiving, spanking, choking, blood, biting, fingering, and vaginal penetration. A BADLY WRITTEN SUMMARY: [Toji is Toji Zenin for the sake of this AU] The one where Y/N is an assassin for hire and not only is she infamous for her methods, but also infamous for faking all her orgasms. After getting sick and tired of these cry babies bitch and complain, Toji takes it upon himself to find out the truth. Is Y/N really faking all her orgasms or were her partners just a bunch of only good for murder fuckers.

CLICK FOR NEXT PART

You worked alone. It was your choice.

You hated responsibility outside of the one you owed yourself; the one that paid for your expensive habits. A mission was easy enough to follow. Given the right instructions you were a pleasure to hire. You delivered on time, minimum collateral, and sometimes with a little extra sprinkled on top for that delicious added tip to your wage.

You worked hard for what you had. Your blood and sweat was splattered on too many walls and floors. You had lost count. You didn’t even bother to try anymore. They were unfavorable distractions; your preference leaned a little sideways for that.

Your current distraction was strutting around a silver pole wearing the most ridiculous pair of shoes. In your mind, you saw her snapping an ankle bone right through her pale skin, you saw her falling at such an angle her neck would immediately snap; a dead rose on a stage.

Dark round eyes take in the inches tall stiletto heels and wonder—how fast could you drive that into someone’s eyeball? With enough force, could it punch through the orbital bone and into the brain?

A part of you wanted to try.

You lean forward, one elbow digging into your muscular thigh. Your other hand reaches and curves two fingers, motioning for the dancer to come closer.

As she draws nearer, you lean back, and cross your legs. She knows the drill. It’s not your first time at this club. Your hands stay away from her at all times, only moving to bring the two fingers worth glass of Blanton’s to your plush lips. You were a murderer, sure, but you had manners, dammit; a goddamn lady.

“Hey Miss C,” she greets you by wrapping her arms around your neck as she straddles you. You shift your weight slightly to make her comfortable—and to feel her a little better too.

“Hey doll,” you speak against the side of her face. Your breath bounces back and you enjoy the sweet scent of vanilla and caramel that hangs like trickling honey on your nose. “Any news for me?”

“He’s been asking around again.” There is annoyance clipping her words. You smile crookedly, and bring the drink to your mouth to swallow back a laugh. “Thought you should know. He should be here any minute too.”

Your hand slides into the sewn pocket on the inseam of your high split maxi skirt. Long elegant fingers pull out two bundled bills and you tuck them, carefully, around the back string of her thong. You slap them down, a light smack making her ass jiggle.

“Thank you, baby,” you tell her as she pouts; it was evident she didn’t want to be done. You smile a little, mockingly. “Don’t look at me like that. You know the rules. I don’t go on the same ride twice.”

It was enough to embarrass her although it wasn’t precisely your intention. Still, it gave you the result you wanted and she went back to her pole, and the other clientele.

It left you with enough time to finish your drink at ease before he came through the doors.

Toji Zenin was every bit as commanding as people said he was. Not that you’d ever admit that out loud, you think, as your eyes refuse to tear away from his strutting figure. He wore a black long sleeved shirt, wide neck; enough to reveal a muscular chest and prominent clavicle. Dark gray tactical cargo pants, with too many straps and pockets, hid his lower half from further inspection.

You suck your teeth. What was he being so coy for?

If the rumors were true, the man was jacked beyond what one would consider humanly possible. You had heard myths about his physical prowess. Temptation lingered in the back of your mouth as it watered from the possibilities.

As you contemplate your next move, he makes his.

The distance between you and him is breached by his long strides. You notice his large hands slip into his pockets and you feel your body tense. You sit up before you can think further, loosen your jaw. Your hand slides to your thigh, fingering the blade strapped against it.

He must have sensed your wariness since he raises his hands in the air in a sign of no resistance; a crooked grin hangs heavily from the scarred corner of his mouth.

“Easy,” he drawls when he’s within earshot. “I’m not here for a fight, unless you’re into that.” It was an inappropriate assumption. The way he paired it with a raise of a dark brow let you know that he knew this. You suck your teeth again–a terrible habit. This man was shameless.

You lean back, and drape your arms on the back of the loveseat you were occupying. Your legs spread, shifting the black fabric of your maxi skirt between your crotch, leaving your thighs exposed. He reeked of forced dominance.

You weren’t sure if you were turned off or turned on yet.

“You have no idea what I’m into,” you counter. Where his grin was full of what smelled of false promises, yours was a cold threat.

It didn’t seem to phase him. He shrugged a shoulder before invading your space by dragging a chair towards you. Just seconds prior someone had been getting ready to sit on it–a lap dance likely on their minds–but Toji had moved without sparing the customer a second glance.

He sat now in front of you, straddling the back of the chair. Why couldn’t he just sit properly? You weren’t sure why it irritated you.

“Anyway,” he says, tilting his face upward. He glances down through his nose at you, as if he was trying to see past an invisible veil. “Is it true?” You don’t answer, so he adds: “Is it true what they say? You’re a fat liar. A faker.”

It takes you a moment, but you catch on to what he’s implying. There had been a preposterous rumor going around as of late; something to do with faking your orgasms. You hadn’t bothered clearing it up. You figured it was just another person in their feelings because you blocked and deleted their number after fucking them. It had nothing to do with you, at least so you thought.

“I give the people what they want,” you say with a small smile as you shrug your shoulders. Your hands grip the back of the love sweat, your arms not moving from where they draped behind you. “I consider it a service for taking up their time.”

Honestly, in your opinion, they owed you an apology.

“Bullshit,” he says with an airy laugh. He leans forward, folds his arms over the back of the chair. His green eyes are meticulously roaming over your body. You wonder what he’s sizing you up for exactly? A sparring session? A meal? He licks his lips. “You don’t seem the type of person to do anything for free. Don’t fuck with me.”

It was your turn to laugh. At the very least he could keep up with conversation. It was commendable even if you wanted to rip the smirk from his lips with your own hands.

“And you don’t seem the type of person to persist after a single woman,” you start–getting to the point of your curiosity. You arch a well groomed brow; a proposal. “Yet, here…you…are.” You wait, with the very last dregs of your patience, for him to explain himself; for him to say anything.

Instead he watches you, his eyes growing dark. You notice a small amount of tension in his jaw, the way his fingers twitch at least twice. You flick your tongue to dab the dryness of your bottom lip.

“Let’s make a bet,” he says, green eyes lighting up. You blink a few times, trying to clear the glare from yours. “I bet…” he continues slowly. “I can make you cum.”

You snort before you can help it and this time you don’t try to cover it. He was being ridiculous. Ridiculous people deserved to be mocked.

“I bet you won’t be able to hold back.” He sits up, and moves his hands to grip his own knees. You watch large fingers cover the diameter of that bony structure; massive for no particular reason. “I bet every sigh, every moan, every scream…” He pauses as his eyes linger on your throat. “Every shiver I rip from your body, will be real and well earned.”

“And if you lose?” You ask quickly, not leaving room for secondary thoughts. Adrenaline vibrated in your veins at an impressive speed. You felt tingly; dangerously so.

“I won’t,” he says, tilting his head to watch you with curiosity. “But let’s pretend I do–you can have a look at my arsenal.” He chuckles at the sight of your eyes widening ever so slightly. “I’ve heard you’ve been asking around. Curious little kitten, aren’t you?”

You were always learning, and you just had learned you loathed being called a little kitten. Your eyes narrow and you consider kicking him in the throat. It would have been deserved, you think, as your nails dig into the loveseat. Still, you resist. Still, you sit.

“Deal,” you say almost sweely before flashing a smile.

He gets up without you, and starts walking when he realizes you’re not following. You watch him, brows knitted together from where you sit.

“Do you have no manners?” You ask him, legs spread wide, one hand winding in the air. The idea of appearing a hypocrite is barely a fluttering thought. He laughs as he turns to fully take you in. He seems pensive. You can almost hear him humming through the music playing in the club. His hand reaches towards you.

You know you shouldn’t take it. You know you should go home, make sure you never see him again, and pretend he doesn’t exist.

And yet, you allow your fingers to slide over his rough palm, as you pull yourself up.

The touch was miniscule; fingertips against callouses but he retracts his hand like he had been touched by fire.

“You’re funny,” he offers with a laugh. You pretend not to notice the way his eyes flicker, scanning the crowd. He’s looking for witnesses. It was the sensible thing to do. This was an inadvisable meeting. In fact, if you were to be honest to yourself for once, this went past being inadvisable. This was reckless. You were both at a facility where your name and face was known.

Was it really necessary to advertise this affair?

The answer was no, but still, it gnawed at your pride.

You don’t answer him as you move past him, shouldering his bicep. He bites back a smile. Damn. It was starting to get irritating how he kept doing that around you. He turns quickly to follow you, bumping you out of the way lightly to take the lead. He is aware of your faltering steps but doesn’t slow down. If he does, he’d be admitting defeat; admitting that he was–somehow, some way–soft for you. That simply would not do.

“You don’t even know where my car is,” he says, finally walking past the doors, past security. You scoff, and he takes in your figure with a sideways glance.

“Who said we’re taking your car?” You ask him, a brow arched, mouth twisted with displeasure. Did he seriously think that you were that easy of a prey? He groans, and you can hear his brain clicking as he casts his green eyes to the night sky.

“Don’t be ridiculous. We’re not taking two cars.”

“Why not? Get in the fucking car, Toji,” you tell him in a sing song tone, as you slide into the driver’s seat of your vehicle. His eyes are on you; you feel their heat boring a hole through the side of your head. You ignore this and instead take in the sound of the engine purring. “Your call. If you don’t make up your mind I’m going home. Get in your car or get in my car. Pick one. I’m not patient.” Your words are clipped as you struggle to keep composure. He had gotten you all riled up and all he had to do was stand there with a blank expression, hands in his pockets. “I’m not a fucking patient person.” Your volume is slightly higher than before and you lean over the passenger seat to peer through the window, snapping your fingers repeatedly.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying this little performance. He wills himself not to smile. He barely makes it through and as punishment he chews on the inside of his cheek. The truth was he was dying to get in her car. He couldn’t wait to have her drive off just so he could have her at his mercy but he didn’t like the idea of her driving him for a night of fucking.

It just didn’t taste right; acrid like an electrical fire.

He shifts his weight from one large foot to the next. The night sky was partially cloudy, barely any stars visible. The crescent moon shines ominously behind the haze. He cusses at it as a hand reaches for the door handle.

He drops in the passenger seat, expletives flying out of his mouth. You laugh and don’t wait for him to put on his seatbelt. You felt like he isn’t the type anyway. He tells you the address, begrudgingly, and a small battle ensues over the windows.

He wanted them down—some bullshit about the night air clearing out the smell of perfume in the car. You wanted it up because the humidity made your curls frizz and you were petty; now you wanted the perfume to choke him.

At his apartment, another small battle took place. You both try to reach the front door first. You’re not even sure why you wanted to—why it was a fucking race. You simply liked the way he made it so easy to see how you got under his skin.

“Open it,” you tell him, words full of breath. You feel giddy; bouncing on the heels of your feet. You’re standing close to him—too close. He scowls trying to shoulder you out of the way.

“I will if you give me some room,” he spits through clenched teeth with pause. He is aware of the irony. He was the one who approached you first, proposed a salacious endeavor, had been trying to get close to you for weeks and now he was trying to get you to back off, at least a little. “I’m going to punch the code in.”

You stare at him for a few seconds before chuckling. “Are you stupid? If I wanted to break in I wouldn’t need a code. You know that.” You left out the part where you were aware it would be a stupid risk to take. You knew your strengths and knew your limits. Toji Zenin was just out of reach of them.

“For fucks sake,” you hear him mutter under his breath. You pretend to be very interested in the ceiling entryway as you hear the beeps and clicks. The door swings open and before he can invite you—you let yourself in, strong long legs carrying you in with ease.

“Wooow,” you enthuse with some drama; you spin to face him, take in his scowling face and smile. “Smells like booze and sex in here.”

“Hmm, you don’t like it?” He asks, casually checking the surveillance cameras while you continue to give yourself a tour of the studio apartment.

“I didn’t say that,” you correct him, letting yourself fall on his platform bed. You bounce once—twice—on your ass and watch him with a gleeful grin. You were finally here. You wondered how many conquests he had brought back. How many he had fucked on this same bed. Your hand runs over the navy bed sheets. No, he didn’t seem the type to use his bed much except for sleeping.

You were hoping he would prove you wrong.

He watched you wear that little grin, and bounce your plump ass on his bed. He watched you still, as he slowly undid his belt; watched your hands roam over his bedsheets, watched you rifle under his pillows as if you were looking for his secrets.

He sucks his teeth, wrapping one end of his belt around a thick hand. He was getting tired of just watching.

“You better stop that,” he growls in a low tone, dark green eyes zone in your wiggling ass, as you scramble on your belly on the bed, running your hands on the back of the mattress. “What the fuck are you looking for?”

“I want to make sure you don’t slit my throat in the middle of things,” you answer him, acting meek as you look at him over your shoulder. You flutter your lashes for good measure. You’re well aware that he’s capable of strangling you with just his hands. These were unnecessary precautions. If you were that worried for your safety you wouldn’t have come here in the first place. Once again, you just liked to watch him react.

It was cute, in a very unhinged way.

He heaves a long and heavy sigh. You bite down on your bottom lip, anything to keep from smiling. Was he regretting it now? Maybe you should be so kind as to give him an incentive. You plop his pillows on top of each other and lean back, making yourself comfortable.

“Shall we get started?” You ask him, legs bent at the knees.

He was tempted to tie you up right where you were. It would make things easier but he wasn’t looking for easy. If he wanted easy he wouldn’t have put in the effort to learn your schedule; spent the money on information that would get him closer to you.

His knees hit the mattress, causing it to dip and creak under his weight. His free hand grabs one of your ankles and he drags you until you’re underneath him. You put up no resistance. Instead you take in the sight above you.

His dark hair fell like a curtain, framing the sharp angles of his face. His eyes were mesmerizing pits, piercing you as he observed you. His lips parted slightly as he let out a breath.

You breathe in—inhale his scent and let it run its course, almost eliciting a full body shiver. You fight back, as you realize he’s watching you. His mouth splits into a broad smile.

Dread pools with heat at the pit of your stomach. You’re in danger. You don’t hate it.

You love it.

Thick thighs rub together and he brings a hand to slap them apart. It stings and you bite down on your lip, swallowing back a hiss. Quickly you move the fabric of your skirt to have a look; a red imprint greets you like a middle finger—mocking; his first mark.

You think about threatening him; to warn him about treating your body like unbranded cattle but his mouth clashes on to yours, silencing all your thoughts.

He fights for dominance, tongue invading your mouth without frills or pretenses. He is seeking yours out and you think about holding it against him but you’re yet again a beat too slow. He sucks on your tongue, a hand drifting to your thighs. He grips the flesh he finds without hesitation, digging calloused fingers into any softness that was pliable enough to bruise.

You swallow a moan, a grunt, unwilling to give in. He tires of your mouth but only after biting and nipping, hard enough to draw a small amount of blood. He reaches out gently, and smears the blood with his thumb across your bottom lip and chin.

“There,” he said, tilting his head to admire his work. “Red is your color.”

His mouth is on your neck, finding your pulse. Your hands are in his hair, pulling him closer as he sucks with force. You know he’s leaving another ugly mark but you don’t stop him.

You think about giving when you feel his hands on your breast. He grips them roughly, forcing your back to snap. You arch against his body and he laughs, face buried on the crook of your neck. You hate the way his breath tickles your skin, how warmth spreads like ink on parchment.

“I don’t think you’re winning this, sweetheart.” He drops kisses on your exposed shoulders, pulling spaghetti straps of your dress down. His teeth clamp into your shoulder, and you have to bite down on the back of your hand to keep quiet. Your panties are soaked, you realized with embarrassment. Your thoughts come slow under his assault. You think about strangling him as he exposes your breasts with a ravenous look in his eyes. You think about slamming your palm up against his nose as he bites down on a nipple before he grips your breast and torpedoes it into his mouth.

Again, you find yourself biting down on your battered bottom lip to keep from crying out. He’s sucking noisily, as if he never had any table manners in his life, as if he had never had a meal, never knew what feeling satiated was.

Thoughts become fractions. Sensations become colors.

Somehow, he has you on all fours, the dress down at your ankles. You feel a sting as the sound of leather against skin cracks in the air, then another. You look back and see him, tongue sticking out as he gets ready to whip you with his belt one more time. Your nails bite into the skin of your hand as you make fists, gripping hard enough to draw blood. It was all you could do to keep from crying out.

As his hands grip and knead your ass after abandoning his belt, his mouth is on your back leaving wet open mouthed kisses everywhere. He kisses towards your armpit and bites down on the soft flesh just underneath it.

You whimper, as your hand slams down on the mattress; a mild tantrum. Shame sinks in at the same time his chuckle comes against the nape of your neck. He breathes harshly against your ear, tongue running along the shell of it.

“Did I hear something?” He questions playfully. “Hm? Maybe not.” Sometimes he did have manners. It would be too easy to stop here, and it would hurt her pride. He couldn’t let that happen; as a mediocre gentleman.

He kisses down your neck and you contemplate your options. Just how badly did you need to see his arsenal anyway? You hadn’t decided yet on what to do next when you feel him pull your panties to the side. You gasp, and flutter kick your feet.

“Hey!” You call out, hoping to stall him. “What are you doing?” Surely, he’d wait to put it in. You realize belatedly that you misinterpreted when you feel a finger slide between your folds. He slides it back down slowly, and then turns his whole hand to smear the slick all over your puffy pussy. There’s no explanation. He kisses your cunt like he would rather eat it instead; big wet mouthfuls with lots of sucking.

A ragged breath shakes your shoulders as you struggle to hold yourself up. He is savoring you without mercy, enjoying your taste dripping on his tongue. He slips in one finger and you whimper again, barely adjusting when he is putting a second finger. He starts scissoring into your squelching pussy, while he kisses and sucks on your clit, saliva mixed with you, dripping down his chin.

You realize with a gasp, as he adds a third finger—curving them as he is looking for something, he had been right. He wasn’t going to lose this bet. You cry out as he is victorious in his expedition. Black dots dance across your eyelids. You breathe in a loud gasp as he continues, feeling wetness drip down your thighs. They quiver, sore from holding you up–too weak to hold you accountable while Toji is hammering his fingers in you, tongue peeking out between white teeth.

Your arms are burning, and so is the air in your lungs. You moan, and cry and ignore the shame; the same way you ignore a tear running down your cheek as he rips another orgasm from you.

He moans against the upper part of one butt cheek when he feels you clenching around his fingers. He wants to continue so badly, finger fucking you until your legs give out, until you’re crying more. He bites down on an ass cheek, and you yelp; before you can cuss at yourself you’re softly moaning his name. He takes a deep breath and runs his tongue flat from the bottom of the ass cheek with bite marks, all the way to the top.

“How’s it taste?” he asks you, his fingers still working inside you, still curving and hitting that spot that has you delirious. You can barely hear him, much less process the words. He must know because he laughs at you before he continues. “My name on your tongue, I mean. Or are you too fucked out of your mind already to even answer me?”

The answer was obvious. You wanted to punch him in the throat but that requires energy you didn’t have at the moment. Plus, you want him to put his cock inside you so badly it is killing you every second he uses his fingers instead.

“Oh, God,” you cry out, feeling yourself close for a third time. The coil in your abdomen tightens, and tightens. Heat eviscerates you; at least that’s what it feels like. Your head is pulled back; you thought demonic possession but it was just Toji’s fingers gripped tightly in your hair. He pulls a little more and brings his mouth to yours, too much teeth and tongue but you’re too far gone to care.

“God?” he laughs against your swollen mouth. Fingers fiercely coming in and out of your pussy, the sounds of squelching thick in the air. It sounds so lewd, so dirty. You feel yourself getting even wetter. “God Toji. If I’m God then why don’t you pray to me, hmm?” You’re dumbfounded. Your bottom lip is in your mouth as you whimper. You were so close, and his fingers still. Your pussy throbs and clenches, desperately asking him to continue. “Or, do you want to confess a sin? Ask for punishment? The benevolent Me is listening.”

He pulls your hair roughly, shaking you once, before he lets go. You almost collapse and barely manage to keep yourself up by your elbows. You’re out of breath. Your curls are sticking to the side of your face and the back of your neck. You feel sweat making the underside of your breasts slippery, feel the coolness of the air on your lower back.

“Please,” you whine, not too proud to beg this once. You lean forward and arch your bag, pushing your ass out further. “I can’t help but be a sinner.”

He finds it hilarious. He laughs as he spanks you a few times, and laughs louder as you cry out. He laughs as he watches you whine when he drops his pants, exposing his hardened cock. He laughs at you as you watch him pump his cock a few times like a starved wild animal. He even continues to laugh as he teases your entrance with his pink tip, precum smeared all over your clit before he finally puts it in.

You swear you see stars; the galaxy even. Your breath flies out of your lungs as his hips slam into yours. Your eyes are unfocused, mouth agape. There is drool on the corner of your mouth as he slams violently again, not giving you much time to adjust. You feel him filling you up, thick and hot. It feels like he might be too deep when he starts thrusting into you at a quick pace. You grit your teeth, your nose crinkles as you suck it up. It hurts, but the ecstacy after it is too damn delicious for you to give it up just yet. Not yet. Just a little more.

One hand is around your throat as he chokes you and pulls you back into him. His other hand has a tight grip on one of your wrists, your arm bent over your back. He has you trapped; like a prisoner of war. You are a fugitive he has been trying to track down, and now that he has you in his grasp he has no intentions of letting you go–not even for the bounty on your head. He takes instead your moans and cries as trophies. He decorates himself with them; hangs them on the muscles of his back, allows them to slide low with the sweat on his pelvis.

He continues to pin himself with the wanton sounds coming from you. He smiles at the sound of his balls slapping against your wet cunt. His head is thrown back, eyes unfocused on the ceiling; thrusts become sloppier, harder, faster. He chases his high at your expense. You cry out, tears clouding your vision as you bypass the pain and accept only the pleasure–that one more orgasm. He feels you clench around him, milking him; demanding from him. He cums with a trailing moan that he quiets by biting across your back.

There is nothing left of you to even whimper at the force of his bites. You know there will be bruises in the shape of his teeth left there. You smear your hands on his bedsheets, hoping the left over blood from earlier stains them.

A mark for a mark.

You’re still trying to catch your breath when he slaps your ass with the belt. You feel him slide behind you, and he wraps one large around you. He pulls you close, enough to tuck you into him. His hands are brushing your curls away from his face, his hot breath is against your ear as he whispers sweet praises. You think you must be delirious. Toji Zenin is not the kind of man to praise anyone, but he grips one breast gently and grounds you to reality. His mouth brushes against your lips lightly.

“If you want to see my arsenal, maybe we can think up another bet for next time.”

You scoff. If you could you would have laughed, but it was already too much to be in his presence and form thoughts. You never went on the same ride twice but you had a feeling that with Toji Zenin every twist and turn was a little more hell-raising than before.

#toji x reader #toji x you #toji x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n

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blade-that-was-broken · 6 months ago

Note

Where’s Barb in Wrath and Rain AU?

What happened to her?

To be honest I kind of miss half life AU- :’D

I understand it’s hard depending on your motivation and your ideas with AUs.

They all are awesome! :D

Barb... is generally kind of similar to canon but also not really?

She'd be with her dad. Idk how old she is in canon but here she's probably not that much older than Branch, so she'd be a teenager by the time the war starts up again. Nothing has really "happened" to her, although considering how she was in canon... she's probably a little crazier here and I imagine gets more involved in the resurgence with a whole attitude of feeling she has to take resistance down, get everyone to be rock zombies, etc.

She'll probably end up with a specific grudge against someone lol

Although since her dad hates JD so much, she does too.

Half Life is like... always in the back of my mind. Literally always. I got stuck on the next chapter of Breathe Again cause I lost my outline (sobbing) and I'm not entirely sure how the things were supposed to go in the chapter and it was kinda driving me crazy. Couple that with my burn out... (as you can tell, I have been able to outline stuff but not really write, write, sadly) it's been a whole mess. Wrath and Ruin is just an outline at this point but I'd like to finish Breathe Again... maybe gets some more shorts and oneshots cause there is plenty I'd love to talk about

Anyways, I know it's not much but I have this little Bowling oneshot wip that isn't finished so here is a snippet from Half Life....

John paid the attendant and moved towards the shoe counter, gathering everyone’s sizes and ordering them up before distributing them around to Spruce, Clay and Floyd. Clay took his shoes greedily and raced over to their assigned lane to put them on, not even sparing the rest of his family a glance before he ran towards the bowling balls to pick his. He found a green and yellow swirled one that seemed a perfect weight for him. He turned around, almost running into a bunch of red hair.

Delta Dawn, his brother’s best friend, turned to face him, her expression lighting up at the sight of him. “Clay! I didn’t know you were here.”

“John said we were going to go bowling,” he replied, plainly. “What are you doing here? Did JD invite you? Cause you can join us, obviously. I don’t think even Spruce would mind.”

It wasn’t exactly a secret that Spruce had the tiniest bit of a crush on Delta but Clay was pretty sure it was because of her red hair. Or the fact that she had the most amazing, voluminous hair any of them had ever seen. Spruce definitely liked his hair. Clay found it weird. He hated brushing his hair or even doing anything with his hair.

“I’m actually with…”

A guy came up by her side, looking down over her shoulder. Clay frowned, his brow furrowing as he looked at him a little closer. He was tall, a bit spindly, with dark hair and an angular face. He reminded Clay of someone but he wasn’t sure exactly. “Who are you?”

“Jim,” he replied slowly. “Who… are you?”

“Jim, this is Clay, my friend’s little brother. Clay, this is… this is my boyfriend, Jim,” Delta introduced, gesturing with her hand between the two of them.

Clay looked unimpressed. “Your boyfriend? I didn’t realize going on three dates meant that you were… going steady or whatever they call it these days.”

Jim snorted, amused. “You’re funny. I’ve heard a bit about you; Delta says you are quite the up and coming horse rider.”

“Equestrian,” Clay corrected immediately. “She’s… told you about us?”

#ask #half life au #wrath and ruin au #I'm so sorry ahhhhhh #for real I love half life tho #maybe i can sketch something about it tho???

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chaoslulled · 11 days ago

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you were the hardest lesson i ever had to learn. - eren & armin

armin's dreaming of the sea again.

there's a quiet rustle a few beds down, a languid moan as a soldier turns over and feels the extent of the injuries that tug at their skin. the curtains that separate the bed in this damn hospital are thin –– in the morning, the sun shines through so brightly that even through the bandages, it stirs him; at night, the moon shines up from above his head and illuminates everything beyond, revealing broken bodies and victims of a war that their country keeps waging. he finds he hates the night most of all; it's too quiet and the nurses don't make rounds as often, but the antiseptic still burns his nose and the scent of the hospital feels like it creeps into every inch of him.

sometimes it's enough to make him want to let the titan healing take over and break out of here, to put carefully laid plans to rest and return home to paradis. it makes his skin itch, makes him want to scream; meeting his grandfather hadn't been something that he had counted on, nor had he counted on the way that his mind is broken, the way that regret eats at him as he thinks of his son that he had pushed into the arms of monsters and rebellion. he didn't expect to feel bad for him, despite the neutral face that he had held throughout the conversation, his eyes on the gates where falco had retreated through.

it won't be long now until he sees armin again.

but nights like these test him –– it makes his skin feel like it needs to be crawled out of, and he pulls out a careful breath, closes his eye, and tries to count until he feels that dozy feeling coming on. it doesn't though –– tonight he's more restless than normal, and the soldiers that are normally loud are quiet, and he feels like there's an itch underneath his skin that he cannot scratch. it makes him tense up, eye glancing up at the window far above his head –– there's bars there, but he wonders if he could yank them free and escape before anyone would truly notice. by now he has the nurse's schedule memorized. he could do it if he truly wanted to.

instead, he closes his eyes again and focuses the power of the founder –– it's not as strong as it would be if he had royal blood; him and zeke have been careful with their interactions, and he's been careful to spin this entire metaphor where he is a helpless younger brother who wants his older brother's advice. it's a well played match and really, it's a game of chess that he knows he can win. zeke is even more broken than he is in his own way, and that part of him that seeks redemption and the need to save a soul is so easy to twist his fingers around and pull strings free, to manipulate him into his very doing without him knowing. so without zeke touching him and the power of the founder being fully activated, he can't access the paths, can't look back on what his friends are doing without a care and with clarity.

so he serves for dream surfing, because ymir allows that; she thinks that it'll keep him on track if he can see and visit and also manipulate them too. he can take their memories and twist them around to see fit as well, so if something isn't going to plan, then there's reason to pull puppet strings there, too.

he finds armin's easily enough; he's almost always in the same place, like he waits for eren to find him there, like he knows that this is real, that when eren buries his boots in the sand of that damn wharf that he's really there. armin's shoulders bunch from where he's standing in the sea, wistfully staring outward toward a blue skyline, the glinting light almost hard to look at as it sparkles off the water. he's lost a little bit of weight, has grown into his face a bit more; his hair is fresh with an undercut and eren has to resist from reaching out, running his fingers along the prickly sensation until it settles a spark down his spine.

there's so many of them that are dreaming; he's snuck into mikasa's before and she dreams of when they are young and it makes him frown because she's stuck there, with a form of himself that he has long since left behind since he had acquired the attack titan; jean dreams of his mother and of mikasa, how they have this home in mitras, something posh with a child and he rolls his eyes; connie dreams of random things that make no sense of all, more or less of a gigantic boar running after him through the forest; sasha is dreaming of the marleyean boy again and it makes him smile, she deserves someone good in her life who will appreciate her tendencies; floch doesn't dream; levi dreams of things that he doesn't speak about, of people that he has lost, and eren feels the pain of it so deeply that he rarely ever visits the captain.

armin's dreaming of the sea again.

fingers dig into the warm sand that sinks heat in through his pants. eyes creep down and he almost forgets what it's like to have both his legs, both his eyes; here he's without the condition that he's put himself in to play his role. everything else is the same though and he grinds his palm against the stubble on his cheek, feeling the scratch of it as he looks at armin's back and swallows hard. he is a disappointment –– armin will never tell him that, but he knows it's true.

eren doesn't move until armin speaks, finally: 'you were the hardest lesson i ever had to learn'. the words crawl down into his stomach, up to his heart; they still his tongue and he feels the absolute ache in them. he rises from the sun warmed sand and sloshes through the briny sea, feels the uneven silt underneath the heels and soles. but there is a thrum through his heart that drags him toward him, like he is his compass –– like no matter what, he will always find his way back to him. this would be easier if he wasn't; he could easily lay rampage and not care about anything else but paradis' survival, but armin is a wildcard that has knocked him straight down, has put his hands around his throat and choked the devil out of him over and over again.

he finds he appreciates him for it –– that he wants to wrap his arms around armin and pull him close, wants to kiss him like he did when they knelt in that damn run down library that made his knees ache and fire lick at his spine. he hasn't forgotten the taste of him on his tongue –– he hasn't forgotten the whisper in the echo of his heart that speaks his name, that aches whenever he turns at the sea and expects to talk to armin. but the blonde hasn't been by his side in marley –– and he thinks that he feels that loss stronger than anything.

shoulders brush and the sunlight brushes up against the water; the scent of sea salt is stronger here, and it mixes with the cologne that armin wears. the ache in his chest is stronger than ever before. he can't help himself –– he reaches out, laces his fingers with armin's as he closes his eyes and the wind whips up around them. the longing, the want –– it's almost too much. he wants to go home. he wants to press himself up against armin and kiss him until he realizes that he's doing this for him, that he'll understand –– even though he doubts he ever will. eren doesn't really understand it himself.

he pulls in a careful breath and squeezes armin's hand. " one day you'll understand, armin. one day this'll all make sense, i promise. "

it's empty –– he tells him this over and over again, no matter the dream, and knows that there will be no solace in his words.

but he does something different this time –– he steps in front of him, settles himself in the space that he had been staring into. for a moment, armin's eyes widen, like he knows that eren is here, that this isn't a figment of hope, of his imagination. he cups his cheeks, thumb moving along his cheeks as he swallows hard; he has missed him so much.

" i'll see you soon armin, i promise. " he leans forward, brushes his lips against his own. it's selfish and unfair, but the longing in his soul makes him want to scream, makes him want to fall down to his knees and beg him to see worth in him. but for now he will settle for this, the simplest brush of salt on his tongue, and as he pulls back, he finds it's from his own tears. he reaches up, brow furrowed, as he feels the wetness against his fingertips.

he swallows hard. he's been here too long.

eren opens his eye and he's back in marley, armin's dream fading away. he reaches up and finds that he's been crying here too; there's a soft thrumming of pain in his temple from using the founder's power, but he'll deal with it like he always does.

he turns to his side and pulls the meager sheet up tighter around his shoulders.

armin's dreaming of the sea again.

he's dreaming of the declaration of war that is to come.

#pontevoix #* 𝘼𝙎𝙆𝘽𝙊𝙓 ft. answered — ⌜ cleaning out the cobwebs. ⌟#i feel so strongly about this one omg

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taiscerayne2426 · 1 year ago

Text

MEDICAL ISSUES AHEAD

I'm not asking for money, just need to get some things off my chest

So back in October of 2022, I started having extreme heart palpitations, randomly and seemingly without any provocation. I could be sitting, walking, laughing, eating, even sleeping and my heart would just pound upwards of 130 bpm for 10, 20 minutes at a time. I'd struggle to breathe, fight passing out, and try to stay upright.

As these episodes got more and more frequent and severe, my partner insisted I go into the ER. I didn't have a primary Dr at the time, so I didn't have anyone else to go to. The ER ran a bunch of tests, found nothing at all wrong, and sent me home with a heart monitor.

I met with a cardiologist, and I'll be honest he was by far one of the worst doctors I've ever seen. He dismissed everything I said, belittled my experience, diagnosed me with POTTS, then sent me home on what he said was a beta-blocker to slow down my heart. Fine. Not great, but fine. Until I get to the pharmacy and they say "This isn't a beta-blocker, this is an anti-depressant. I wonder why he told you that?" Never saw that cardiologist again.

Fast-forward to December 2022. My job has let me go because I'm barely able to hold myself upright and can pass out at any time so I'm not medically cleared to drive. My partner is burning both ends of the candle trying to keep me safe and manage his college classes. We're struggling to survive off one income in the city.

My episodes get rapidly worse, then slowly start tapering off until they're only happening once a day. Then it's once a week, but the worst it'd been thus far. Then, for no discernable reason, they stop in February 2023.

I was overjoyed. Finally, FINALLY I could get back to life. We moved to a new town, a smaller quieter place with cheaper rent and less violence. I got a new job nannying two amazing kids and babysitting a third once a week. My partner and I both continued college. Everything was going so, so well.

They came back. About 4 weeks ago, beginning of June 2023. It was slow at first but it's getting worse and worse.

And it's fucking scary, dude. I find myself physically incapable of taking a breath for so long that I sob when it finally comes. It's like everything in my body just. freezes. goes stiff. I can't feel anything, I can't move anything. I can barely signal my partner so he notices. We can't find anything that helps.

I'm not able to drive anymore. I can barely support myself to move from the bed to my desk. I pass out if I stand in the kitchen too long pondering what to eat. I'm on a cane now, for the first time. It helps a bit, makes me feel a bit less useless.

I'm barely eating. Don't have an appetite. I've lost more weight in the last few weeks than I want to admit, and I was already dangerously underweight.

The scariest part, though, is that I can feel myself fighting to hold on every time I have an attack. I fight so fucking hard to stay, because I can FEEL that if I lose consciousness, I'm gone. And it's getting harder and harder to fight. Don't misunderstand, I have no desire to die. I'm fighting for a reason after all. I'm just getting weaker, and it's getting more and more difficult.

I let my PCP know that bit today. She won't see it til she's in the office next, but until this new heart monitor comes off on Monday they won't be able to give me any answers anyway. 2 more weeks. Just 2 more weeks til I hopefully get some results. Because if I don't, I'm... gods. I'm fucking scared.

#medical issues #tw medical issues #tw doctors #tw hospitals #tw er #tw death mention #death mention #doctors #hospitals #er #taisce talks

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ladyartemesia · 4 years ago

Text

The Kiss

◐ PART VIII of THE ALPHA ◐

◐ Series Masterlist ◐

◐ Part I ◐ Part II ◐ Part III ◐ Part IV ◐ Part V ◐ Part VI ◐ Part VII ◐

Pairing: Alpha Werewolf Jimin x Omega Reader

Rating: Hard Mature 18+ (for this installment)

Warnings: this one is a little darker, descriptions of violence, ABO sexual dynamics including discussion of scenting, marking, mating, and claiming, strong sexual innuendo, discussion of violence relating to ritual combat, possessive behavior, injuries and discussion of injuries, lots of people have, use and are threatened by knives, kidnapping and drugging, its not as bad as it sounds, but it is definitely a bit darker…

Word Count: 4250

Author’s Note: I said it before but it bears repeating...You have no idea what your support has meant to me. Truly your asks and your messages and comments…they made me so happy. You made me believe that people wouldn’t forget about this story. I am so grateful you were able to wait. As many of you know I faced a medical emergency recently and you were all so lovely. The best followers on this site and I MEAN that. As always, my angels @ppersonna @xjoonchildx and @untaemedqueen were (and continue to be) the best betas and the best friends anyone could ask for. My thanks to ALL of you for helping me bring this story to life! I don’t know what I would do without your daily encouragement and your daily support. You guys are the heartbeat of this story. It wouldn’t be here without you.

——◐——

Two Years Ago

——◐——

Centuries ago the moon goddess stumbled across her human soulmate while he was sleeping. Struck by his beauty, but reluctant to reveal her identity, the goddess began to visit him in his dreams where she could hide her true form and appear before him as a mortal woman.

In the world of dreams their love flourished and from that blessed union the packs were born…

The wolf nations celebrated this sacred romance every ten years during the Festival of the Lover’s Moon…

The day of the festival was spent eating and drinking and dancing at large parties, but when the sun went down… well—

That’s when things got really interesting.

On the night of Lover’s Moon the young unmated wolves of the pack were permitted to commemorate this legendary love story in a decidedly scandalous manner.

The unmated men assumed the role of the goddess’s sleeping lover—they were blindfolded (to represent slumber) and led into a large sectioned off area of the dark forest to ‘wait and dream.’

Unmated she-wolves over the age of maturity (eighteen) took herbal scent suppressors and ventured out into that very same forest in order to anonymously ‘visit’ the young men ‘in their dreams’...

The rules for what exactly that meant were pretty fast and loose which was why Min Yoongi was thanking the goddess and every other deity he could think of that Yunli was still seventeen.

“But I will be eighteen in two days! Please can’t I just—“

“No. Absolutely not under any circumstances ever.”

“But Yoonji is going!”

“Ji-ah is nearly nineteen and has never been interested in any of the snotty little man-pups of our pack.” He snorted. “She’s probably going out just so she can shove a bunch of them in the lake.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Yunli mumbled irritably.

Kim Taehyung yawned idly and snuggled into the cozy little pallet he prepared at the base of his favorite tree. The blindfold he and all the other unmated ‘lovers’ wore was made from witchcloth and could not be removed while the sun was down—so he had snuck into the forest earlier to set everything up.

Now all he had to do was wait until—

“H-Hi Taehyung.”

Oh sh—

“Uh. Hello...Miss.”

Taehyung didn’t recognize the owner of that voice, but he knew for sure who it wasn’t.

“I was hoping to find you tonight.”

This is not good.

“Well I’m—I’m flattered… naturally but—”

She touched his hand and he squeaked.

“I was thinking you and I might get to know each other a little bet—eep!”

The sharp point of a custom blade pressed directly into the unfortunate young beta girl’s pulse point.

“Are you lost, puppy?”

A heavy cloak obscured the newcomer’s features, but there was no mistaking her meaning.

Taehyung bit his lip to keep from snorting as the poor she-wolf scrambled away.

“Ji-ah,” he tsked with feigned disapproval, “that wasn’t very nice.”

Min Yoonji grinned as she sheathed her wicked looking dagger and slid languidly into his arms.

“You don’t like nice girls, Kim Taehyung.”

“I like you,” he whispered breathlessly against her lips. “Nice or not—it doesn't matter to me…” His hands slid greedily over her soft curves—pulling her closer till he felt the beat of her heart against his own. “I’ll like anything as long as it’s you.”

This was the stupidest idea in the history of stupid ideas.

Jimin huffed as he struggled to find a comfortable position against the giant boulder he’d chosen as his perch.

Why did I let Taehyung talk me into this?

He could be at home—in bed—comfortably sleeping off the all-day feast he’d indulged in.

Instead he was out in the middle of the forest sitting blindfolded on a rock in the off chance that one of the she-wolves was out looking for him.

Not bloody likely.

Not when prime targets like Namjoon, Hoseok, Jungkook—and countless others—were scattered throughout the woods.

“Park Jimin?”

Every hair on Jimin’s body stood on end.

It was a soft whisper—the speaker clearly didn’t want her voice to be recognized, yet something about the sound sent a curious frisson of interest down his spine.

He gulped.

“Yes… that’s me. But if you’re looking for Hoseok he’s just a little deeper in. You probably caught his scent downwind so—”

“I’m not looking for Hoseok.”

Jimin licked his lips and the sight of it sparked a odd curl of heat in the pit of your belly.

“I don’t know where anyone else is…”

“That’s quite alright.” A muted shuffle of movement reached his ears as you settled down beside him. “I was looking for you.”

“Oh…” He rubbed the back of his neck idly. “Are you sure?”

Laughter like fairy bells whispered through the air and Jimin felt his heart clench.

Don’t get your hopes up.

“Who are you?”

You were silent for a long time and then—

“I am someone who owes you a debt. One I have never been able to repay.”

Jimin’s head tilted curiously as he considered your words.

“I’m sorry, miss… you must be mistaken. There isn’t—“

“You don’t remember.”

It was a statement—not a question. Your voice was nearer now. He could feel the warmth of your body close to his—though not quite touching. “It was your wolf that saved me. But you had not gone through the Change yet.”

Familiar shame spiked sharply in his chest.

“I’m seven years past the Change...Why have you never mentioned this before?”

“Circumstances prevented me from doing so.”

There was a cold finality to your pronouncement—which of course did nothing but further inflame his curiosity.

“Then why come to me now?”

“I’ve come to repay you.”

Jimin’s mouth dropped open.

Were you trying to—?!

“Oh—no please that-that’s not necessary—I could never take advantage of—”

You giggled again.

“I am not offering my body, Park Jimin.”

Jimin breathed a heavy sigh of relief then shook his head with a wry chuckle.

“Well considering the circumstances I can hardly be blamed for assuming you might be. And honestly most men would jump at the chance to—”

“You...are not most men.”

Jimin’s eyes narrowed beneath his blindfold.

“Little she-wolf—I may not be wrestling bears for fun or bare knuckle boxing in the town square, but I am still an alpha.”

The weight of his command poured over your body as he spoke the last word. There was no order or intent—he had simply given you a taste of his power.

Aside from your direct blood relatives, no alpha had ever dared unleash their compel in your presence—therefore you were utterly unprepared for the effect it had on you—

Utterly unprepared for the strange surge of want so potent and profound that it stole the breath from your body.

It was primal—invigorating—

Sensual.

You and your wolf may not have been entirely connected yet, but she was suddenly quite vocal about her desire to fully bask in Park Jimin’s attention.

A wicked grin played over his lips as he leaned in closer and you could almost feel the soft brush of his lips against your cheek.

“Did you think I would not desire the touch of a beautiful woman in the moonlight?” he whispered.

Please touch me, Alpha.

Your eyes widened.

Dear goddess. Your inner wolf was turning out to be a shameless hussy.

“You might desire it, but you are far too honorable to accept it as payment for a debt.”

Jimin drew back warily.

You were correct of course. After all he had refused you when he believed that was your intent but—

“How could you know that?”

Evade. Evade now.

“Well... how could you know I was beautiful? You’re blindfolded.”

He shrugged and your wolf took careful note of the way it made all the pretty muscles in his back and shoulders ripple.

He will give us such strong—

Oh boy.

He will do no such thing. Please calm down.

“Not everything must be seen with your eyes.”

Is that how you found me? All those years ago...

Questions churned chaotically beneath your consciousness but you dared not give voice to them.

Focus.

“I must repay this debt. Ask for what you want and—if it is in my power—I swear it will be yours.”

Jimin smiled again, but this time it was somehow softer. For a moment he looked almost…

Sad.

“I’m afraid that the only thing I have ever wanted is not within your power to give...and I dare not ask you or anyone else for it.”

For her.

He sighed and drew even farther away from you—in fact it seemed like he was preparing to leave.

No.

Your hand reached out almost of it's its own accord and wrapped tightly around his wrist. The contact sent a shock of searing heat through his veins and he froze.

“Please alpha. It is not acceptable for someone like me—” a leader, a Luna, “—to owe another my life and offer nothing in return. You must let me pay my debt.”

Omega, his wolf growled, sweet perfect omega.

Suppressors may have hidden your scent, but the siren song of an omega pleading prettily in his ear was unmistakable—irresistible…

“What if all I want is your name?”

You sighed deeply.

“I cannot give you that. My name is… not mine to offer.”

Jimin laughed.

“A woman I cannot remember with a name I cannot know and whose face I cannot see.” He shook his head. “Perhaps you are just a figment of my imagination.”

It was hard to explain what happened next...For whatever reason his words cut you deeply and you were overcome with the desire—no need—to refute them somehow.

“I’m real enough,” you whispered, bringing his hand to your cheek.

Jimin was genuinely beginning to wonder if you were a witch as well as a she-wolf. Being close to you was intoxicating and the urge to draw you in was steadily overpowering every other thought.

“Could I ask you for a kiss, then?”

“You—...You saved my life and all you want... is a kiss?”

The air grew heavier as the strange magnetic pull between you swelled to a silent inescapable crescendo.

“In Seoul I often searched for someone who could ease my loneliness, yet each time I walked away emptier than before.” His thumb brushed gently over your lips and your eyes fluttered shut. “I have never had a kiss that meant anything to me.”

But yours might.

It was unclear who moved first, whether he pulled you to him or you surged forward but when your bodies aligned and your lips met his for the first time it was as if you had never been separate from one another.

As if you had always been deeply—intimately —together.

The indescribable feel of him lit over your senses like a struck match. It was an ignition in the purest sense of the word— a fiery visceral awakening fueled by a consuming flood of desire.

Yes, Alpha.

He might never see your face or hear your name, but Jimin knew he would remember the taste of you for the rest of his life. It was hot and bright like liquid sunshine— a pure relentless light flowing through him where there was once only darkness.

A soft needy moan rose up from your chest and he growled in primal satisfaction as you melted against him.

Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt of their own accord, desperately trying to bring him closer until he wrapped his arms around you in a heated embrace.

“Please,” he begged breathlessly against your mouth. “Please tell me who you are.”

The words crashed over you like a bucket of ice —dousing the hazy pleasure of his kiss with a cold bite of reality. Suddenly you were wrenching yourself away from him and your wolf whimpered in misery at the loss of his touch.

“I can’t,” you whispered.

And then you were gone.

“Did someone hurt you?”

You looked up to find Jin taking in your tears with cold fury.

Twin knives were already gleaming dangerously in his hands and he appeared ready to filet whichever bastard was foolish enough to make you cry.

“No,” you sniffed—well aware of how pitiful you were at the moment—crying in the corner of your cousin’s kitchen. “I got myself into this mess without any help—as usual.”

Jin sighed and slid down next to you.

“Tell me.”

“Something happened that I…I didn’t intend.”

“Oh I knew that already. The Luna isn’t supposed to be running around on the night of Lover’s Moon in a forest full of blind horny wolves—“

You snorted and shook your head.

“You’re absolutely right. I should have stayed away.”

Jin’s eyes narrowed and he wondered if perhaps you had caught Kim Namjoon with another omega. Nothing would be official until after the Change of course, but your bond with him was basically a foregone conclusion at this point.

“You went looking for someone...didn’t you.”

You nodded miserably—all but confirming his fears. He made a mental note to push Namjoon in the swamp at the next available opportunity.

“You know... the stories say that a Luna is powerfully drawn to her mate under the Lover’s Moon—that her wolf can sense him even before the Change.” He reached over and gently began to brush the tears from your eyes. “So it’s not surprising that you sought him out, but it’s not really fair to hold whatever it is you saw against him. There is no relationship between you yet and…” he chuckled, “kisses beneath festival moonlight don’t really mean anything anyways.”

It was clear that Jin had somehow gotten the entirely wrong impression, but perhaps that was for the best.

No one knew of your connection to Jimin and no one had seen what passed between you.

Still…

Something about his assessment stung you.

“You really believe that? ...That a kiss exchanged tonight means nothing?”

“I do.” Jin spoke with conviction. “There’s ancient magic at play in those woods. You can’t always trust what you see—or what you feel.”

“Oh I...I didn’t know…”

After a moment you laid your head against his shoulder and let the last of your tears run silently down your cheek.

“Jin-ah have you ever wanted something you knew you couldn’t have?”

“Yes.” He sighed heavily and pulled you in to snuggle a bit closer. “When I was younger I dreamed of having a mate just like everyone else…”

The words were so softly spoken—almost wistful. Your heart splintered just hearing them.

“But… she could be out there—your mate.”

Jin shook his head.

“When is the last time you heard of a female alpha?”

Fresh tears welled up in your eyes.

“Jin…”

“Hey,” he whispered, “don’t waste your crying on me. I’ve long since come to terms with who and what I am.”

“You’re not sad anymore?”

“Well… maybe sometimes I am… but I had to accept that people like us are not like everyone else. Our destinies were written long before we were born.”

“And you believe you’re destined to be alone?”

“Wolves in a pack are never really alone.”

“Yes...but they can be lonely,” you whispered thinking back to Jimin’s words.

For a moment Jin’s eyes were the saddest you had ever seen them.

“Well...I suppose they can.” Then he chuckled and gave your nose an affectionate little tap. “But you don’t need to worry about that. When the time comes Namjoon will take his place at your side and the two of you will build a wonderful life together... Isn’t that what you want?”

Isn’t it?

Your treacherous thoughts drifted back to the boy in the moonlight—to the way your body sang when he touched you and the strange insatiable desire to know him and be known by him in return.

“Please...Tell me who you are.”

A heavy ache settled in your heart.

You were the Luna of the mountain nations. A true born moon princess.

You could never be the woman who kissed Park Jimin underneath the stars.

You were not like everybody else.

“...Yes. That is what I want.”

——◐——

Now

——◐——

Jimin’s heart pounded as he tore through the dark paths of the wood with Taehyung, Yoongi, and Jungkook close behind.

He had never led an attack—had never been trained to command wolves in battle.

It was his first true test of leadership and he hadn’t even been a leader for twenty-four hours.

Yet the fears and anxieties that might have normally clouded his mind were notably absent.

There was only you.

Ironically Jimin owed Namjoon yet another debt—this time for explaining what exactly someone like him was capable of.

The alpha Jin captured had given up their plan and position after being exposed to Jimin’s unique gifting, so he had a concrete target in his mind… He suspected however, that your captors had taken precautions after leaving some of their men behind. They had shifted their camp.

But it wouldn’t be enough to save them.

Jimin didn’t need your location to find you.

He spent years refusing to look at you, and even then he always knew exactly where you were. He could sense you in any crowd—hear your voice in a thousand.

Once it had tormented him cruelly to be so aware of you.

Now it was the only thing keeping him sane.

He followed the connection between his heart and yours like a lifeline and it guided him as surely as the stars.

The alphas followed him without question.

If any of them harbored lingering doubts before, they were firmly laid to rest after what they saw at the cottage. No ordinary wolf could do what he had done.

The Alpha would bring back their Luna and retribution would be swift indeed.

The drugs in your system kept swinging you in and out of lucidity like a nightmarish pendulum. You tried to shift after the initial nausea faded, but whatever they gave you kept your wolf caged beneath your skin.

Jimin

The longing you felt for your mate was the only thing tethering you to reality. You could almost hear him echoing in the far corners of your mind—

I’m coming Omega—hold on.

I’ll find you.

Part of you recognized that his voice was likely nothing more than the wistful creation of your drug-addled mind, still you clung to it like the last shred of hope while the minutes (or hours) flew past.

Chaos clouded your thoughts even in clearer moments as many unavoidable concerns forced their way through the haze.

Jin was at the house with you when they broke in. You had no way of knowing if he survived.

The men who took you were crass and irreverent. Their eyes followed your form with too much interest and too little respect.

It was starting to get cold and (due to you nearly dismembering a high council member and needing to be compelled unconscious) you were still wearing a thin white ceremonial dress which offered very little protection from the elements.

You wondered idly if your idiot captors would let you freeze to death before they accomplished whatever it was they took you for. They clearly needed you for something or you would have been long dead by now.

None of them struck you as particularly brilliant planners so the mastermind must be somewhere else...

Frankly the entire situation was as puzzling as it was troubling. Iron Claw had always gotten along well with your pack.

Technically they were (almost) what the human governments called a vassal state. The presence of a Luna determined the dominant pack in a region and the Luna of the mountain nations had been born into Silver Fang—your pack—for the last thousand years or so.

Why would they challenge us now?

The birth of a Luna indicated that the goddess had chosen that pack to lead. Their willingness—not only to kidnap you—but to go against the dominant pack by doing so was alarming to say the least.

A sudden explosion of movement and sound interrupted your contemplation. Motion erupted all around you—boots pounding on the ground, men falling into their wolf forms, knives being drawn…

You lifted your head—straining forward to see the source of the commotion—and nearly collapsed in relief when you finally did.

Alpha

Your mate stood at the edge of the camp flanked by two enormous black wolves.

A deadly looking jingum sword gleamed dangerously in his right hand. You recognized it immediately as your great-grandfather’s combat blade—the thousand year-old weapon of the Silver Fang Alphas.

Relief flooded your chest all over again at the sight of it. Only Jin could have given him that sword—which meant he was still alive.

The black wolves—Yoongi and Jungkook—snarled viciously but made no move to attack.

Your captors were still scrambling into some sort of combat formation when Jimin finally spoke.

“You have violated our sacred laws, trespassed in sovereign pack lands, kidnapped a Luna under the protection of our goddess, abducted the mate of the Silver Fang Alpha, and risked open war between our peoples.” He took a single step forward. “Surrender now and I will be merciful.”

The biggest of your captors—a man you recognized as the de facto leader—spat viciously on the ground.

“You are not my Alpha,” he growled.

A cold—almost cruel—smile twisted over Jimin’s lips.

“Very well.”

Then he dropped to one knee and a massive grey wolf—Taehyung—leapt over his head and tore out the defiant leader’s throat before he even hit the ground.

Your mouth dropped open.

Bangtan formation.

Yoongi and Jungkook lunged forward in opposite directions, tackling their targets to the forest floor in a bloody clash of teeth and claws.

One of the larger Iron Claw alphas half-shifted and charged Jimin but his arm shot out lightning fast, catching his attacker by the throat to send him flying through the air into a tree.

The next several minutes could only be described as terrifyingly beautiful.

It was immediately clear that Jimin had been holding back when he fought Namjoon.

He dispatched his opponents with such elegant savagery it was almost art.

You were so mesmerized watching Jimin sensually sword dance his way through a dozen alphas nearly twice his size that you almost missed Taehyung’s wolf rushing over with a dagger clenched between his teeth.

Luna are you okay?

You grinned and held up your rope-bound wrists.

“I’ll be better once you pass me that knife.”

Taehyung nodded once and dropped the blade at your feet before tackling another wolf that was tearing towards the two of you.

You sawed through the ties around your ankle first then twisted your arms to try and slice through the restraints on your wrist.

The Iron Claw wolves were clearly no match for Jimin and his alphas.

Jungkook and Yoongi chased after the few who were trying to run while Taehyung half-shifted to subdue the handful of wolves left alive as prisoners. Only Jimin continued to fight as the last three of your captors still standing took turns being slammed into the dirt by his strikes.

He was clearly capable of dispatching them, but you were fairly convinced that you would die if you had to stay away from him for another second. The ropes, however, were surprisingly thick and the angle you were cutting them at wasn’t the best. If only—

You were almost free when you saw it.

One of your captors had pulled a hunting javelin from their supply wagon. He must have hid himself at the onset of the fight, but now he was comfortably concealed by the shadows—and taking aim at Jimin.

Your heart dropped into your stomach.

The attacker appeared to handle the weapon with familiarity. He was too far back—too well hidden—Jimin would never see him in time—

The last cord around your wrist snapped and you were on your feet, pushing through the combined haze of fury and sedatives to charge the wolf who dared attack your mate.

By the time he saw you it was far too late.

Under the effects of the drug your aim was a little skewed but you weren’t Kim Seokjin’s cousin for nothing.

One clean flick of your wrist and the dagger shot through the air, burying itself between the brute’s shoulder blades—all the way to the hilt.

His body fell to the ground just as Jimin sent the last of your captors careening into a pile of previously defeated foes.

For a moment all was quiet.

Then your eyes locked across the distance and everything around you sharpened to a single whispered word.

“Jimin.”

He had run non-stop for miles and torn apart a dozen wolves to get to your side—no amount of space between you now was tolerable.

The sword clattered to the forest floor as he moved toward you—desperate to feel you—to wrap himself around you and know that you were safe.

What happened next was as natural as breathing.

You opened to him and he lifted you into his arms, taking your lips in a hot unrepentant kiss.

Fire exploded across your senses, burning away everything but the touch and taste of him. Every part of you was at once fiercely and gloriously alive. Desperate moans passed between you as he licked into your mouth—a dark primal promise of the pleasure he would take between your thighs.

“Alpha,” you whimpered, too delirious with want to manage anything else.

Suddenly Jimin’s eyes shot open. His hands flew to cup your face, searching it with a mixture of realization and disbelief.

“You… It was you.”

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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years ago

Text

Hidden (Kim Hongjoong) Rated

Pairing: Soccer Jock! Kim Hongjoong (Ateez)× Nerd! Reader (Female)

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Slight Angst, College AU.

Summary: There's nothing that makes Hongjoong feel better after a game than to spend it with his secret girlfriend.

Word Count: 3.5+K

Warnings: male breast play (we love the hiddies), light gropings, dry humping, light degradation, corruption kink, unprotected soft, vanilla sex (always use protection), dom! Hongjoong, sub/slightly inexperienced reader.

Taglist: @seacottons (I wrote this for you ♡), @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers @yunhoiseyecandy @galaxteez @hanatiny @deja-vux @brie02 @multidreams-and-desires @daniblogs164 @couchpotatoaniki @a-soft-hornytiny

•––––☆––––•––––☆––––•––––☆––––•

The crowd erupted into thunderous applause and cheers when their prized center forward kicked the ball with full force into the opposing team's goal, effectively allowing them to take victory over another college from the area. His teammates hoisted the bleach blonde male over their shoulders, parading him around the field and letting the spectators admire him once more. The athlete shyly smiled and gave tiny waves towards the crowd. His eyes passed through all the rows of people standing about, searching and scanning for a particular person he hoped would come to see him.

Once he spotted a familiar red plain hoodie tucked near the very end of the bleachers, his smile grew even wider and he even felt bold enough to send a wink their way, the tiny group of admirers sitting nearby mistakenly thinking it was directed at them. The figure in the hoodie tried not to let any suspicious look give her away, but even she couldn't stop the faint pink hue that appeared on the apples of her cheeks. He mouthed a few words to her, which she understood to mean for her to wait for him at a certain place while he went to go get changed. Quickly picking up her bag, she made way to step down the bleachers, but unfortunately for her the little group of popular girls had the same idea, thus ending in one of them bumping into her rather harshly and sending her crashing down onto the concrete stairs that allowed one to get out of the spectator area.

The soccer player of course saw this and slightly hissed when he watched her palms come out instinctively to lessen her fall, only imagining the stinging sensation they went through. He then turned his attention to the tiny clique leader who looked completely unapologetic, her mouth saying something that he couldn't quite make out, but judging from the way her little minions snickered and laughed, he deduced it was only another one of the usual jabs they liked to fling at the poor girl. And he hated it, the scowl clearly visible on his face. Just when he was about to turn around and give them a piece of his mind, the victim looked up and gestured for him not to intervene and just run along to the showers. He hesitated briefly until she once again assured him she was fine, getting up and quickly escaping before another accident occurred.

Left with no choice but to follow her instructions, the soccer player joined the others in the showers to freshen up after a long and arduous game. He made sure to be quick about it, as he wanted to go check up on her injuries as soon as possible. After drying off completely, he stuffed all his belongings into his bag without caring to check if he was crushing anything and sped out of there. Along the way to the place where he parked his car, he only waved at his fellow classmates and belatedly ignored the prissy bullies that caused the incident back at the bleachers.

"Snakes." He mumbled to himself as he passed by them.

Rounding a tiny corner of the building, he took out his keys and unlocked his car, looking around in confusion when he didn't see the person he was expecting anywhere nearby. Hearing a tiny rustling of leaves, he rolled his eyes when he finally realized they were hiding behind the hedge that decorated the stairs that led one inside the building.

"There's no one else around, now come out of there before the groundskeeper finds out you were messing up his artistic shrubbery." He called out as he walked over to the hedge.

Peeping her head out, the girl looked right then left to make sure he wasn't lying before throwing one leg over the green barrier, trying to get out. It definitely proved more difficult getting out than getting in, as her foot accidentally got stuck when she tried to swing her other leg out. She grunted softly as she tried to yank her foot out, which she eventually accomplished but with how hard she pulled she was thrown off balance. Had the male behind her not have run up to catch her, she would have surely hit her head on the floor. Luckily he had indeed caught her before such tragedy occurred. Looking up, his unamused face was bearing down on her.

"Thanks?" She sheepishly said.

"Don't mention it honey bunch." He snorted when she frowned at one of the many nicknames he enjoyed teasing her with.

"Don't start now Kim Hongjoong." She grumbled with a huff as she sat upright.

When she turned around, she had no chance to say or do anything as he took her hands and made her palms face him. Hongjoong sighed when he saw the tiny scrapes on her fragile skin.

"I'll be fine. It's just a scratch." She asserted before he got anymore upset.

"These 'scratches', and the mean names, wouldn't happen at all if only you'd let people know about us."

She recoiled slightly at his words. He was right, she knew that. Still, she was hesitant about letting the entire school know about their secret relationship, something that he was more than eager about sharing. But he respected her need and wanting of privacy, even if it irritated slightly at times.

"I'll be fine Hongjoong. Really... their words don't bother me anymore. And besides, I'd rather not have all eyes at me at every moment. I like being an invisible wallflower." She repeated what she often said.

He understood her, but couldn't help the sigh that came out his lips.

"Honestly L/N Y/N, I don't know what to do with you sometimes." He confessed as he turned her palms over, his eyes focusing on her left hand. Or more precisely, on the black promise ring that was wrapped around her left finger. He smiled softly as he rubbed his thumb over it, knowing that on the inside of it, his name was engraved in white, followed by his birthstone in the shape of a heart. He wore a similar one around his neck, held up by chain that dangled right above his chest, close to his heart. Only the one he wore was a white band and had his lover's name in black with her own birthstone on it. It was a present he had bought for their 1 year anniversary, which had happened not too long ago. Every time he saw her wear it, he felt a warm and tranquil feeling in his soul. He himself never took off the chain off his neck, only when he needed to shower and even then, he made sure to never misplace it.

It was a somewhat nostalgic feeling, standing there, holding her hands kinda like the first time he worked up the courage to come up to her and state his interest in dating her. Even to that day, he couldn't believe she would have actually agreed. He was so happy and full of bliss at having her that he couldn't help himself as he closed his eyes and began leaning his face towards hers. His girlfriend widened her eyes and let out a muffled shriek before pulling away from him. Hongjoong grunted angrily as he walked after her towards his car.

"It's not a crime to kiss my girlfriend in public you know." He exclaimed.

"Someone might see us." She kindly reminded him.

Throwing his hands up in frustration, Hongjoong was about to start nagging but opted for taking a deep breath instead to calm down.

"Ok fine, but once we get behind closed doors, I'm expecting a lot of cuddles and smooches from you. You've been giving me the cold treatment at school even beyond what we agreed on and I'm slightly hurt." He pouted as he turned on the ignition.

Shaking her head, Y/N leaned over and placed a peck on Hongjoong's cheek.

"Ok you baby. Only because you were amazing on the field today."

•––––☆––––•––––☆––––•––––☆––––•

Safe in the sanctuary and privacy of her apartment, Y/N couldn't hold herself back now as she tangled her limbs around her boyfriend, face pressed against his chest. Hongjoong couldn't stop himself from snorting when he felt her cheek rubbed against one of his protruding pectoral muscles. The arm that was stationed around her frame came up to lightly scratch the back of her head.

"Having fun there you cuddle bug?" He raised an eyebrow at her when she snuggled closer to him.

"Hmmm yeah. Your man boobs make such comfortable pillows." She beamed as she reached one hand up to caress the muscle that her face wasn't buried in.

"They are not boobs Y/N. We've been over this how many times?" He dropped his head back onto the pillow as he released an exhausted and frustrated groan.

Feeling a bit on the bolder side that evening, Y/N shifted her weight over so she was fully laying on top of him.

"If they're not boobs, how come I can do this?"

Hongjoong half gasped- half moaned when he felt his girlfriend's mouth part and latched onto one of his highly sensitive nipples. Of course his girlfriend took advantage of this little fact, suckling onto his skin in a tender manner. Hongjoong lost himself in the feeling of her tongue flicking at his hardened peaks, closing his eyes as she kept on enveloping his buds with her warm mouth, first one breast then moving to the other one. This time her suction was a little more rough, teeth baring to lightly bite on the skin around his nipple. Hongjoong obviously didn't mean and was thoroughly enjoying the more harsher treatment as he began bucking his hips up against hers, his tent brushing against her folds which were only covered by her cotton underwear.

Satisfied at being able to rile her boyfriend up, Y/N sat up with a smirk as she peered down at Hongjoong's dazed look. Before he could get a word out, his girlfriend begin grinding herself against his bulge, her hands steadying themselves on his lean but firm abs. Hongjoong looked up at her, his eyes glowing with the same lust that mirrored in her own. Not able to bear to leave her in charge, his hands came up to grip her hips, forcing her to stop momentarily before they started taking control of her movements. He guided her so every time her clothed mound would rub against his tent they would both feel the best friction between them. Not only was he in full control of her body rolls, he made sure to lift his hips up so she would feel him even more. The air around them thickened as their sexual tension grew more and more, their once soft sighs turning more into heavy panting as they both waited for the other one to give in and say they wanted more than just the semi clothed dry humping they were currently doing.

Y/N knew fully well Hongjoong wouldn't say anything, it was in his nature. He'd just keep donning that signature smirk he was hailing at her at the moment as he continued to grind himself up at her. She knew he wanted her to tell him how much she wanted him, as a form of payback for not acknowledging him back at the university. She wanted to play at his game, keep her mouth shut and even get off him only to leave him frustrated and aching. But she had no will or mind to do that. Not when her body yearned for his, cried out to have him pin her to the bed as he tore through her intimate places. She couldn't hold back any longer, her bottom lip was starting to hurt from how hard she was biting down on it.

"What's wrong babygirl? Something on your mind? Do you want something?" He teased her as he moved his hands to cup her ass, fingers digging into her flesh and brushing against the hem of her panties.

"Hongjoong... I want...I want.." Even after having done this quite a few times, she was still very nervous and shy about requesting such things from him.

"Use your words darling, I know you can use them. After all, you're the smartest person in school. So tell me...."

Sitting up so he could lean his face close to hers, Hongjoong brushed his lips against hers, replacing her teeth with his own as he tugged at the corner where she had been biting on just a few seconds ago.

"What do you want?" He asked once more, hands going underneath her shirt so they could fondle her perky breasts, a satisfied grin lightly appearing on his face when he discerned the subtle whine that came from her throat.

"You, I want you." She finally answered, her arms wrapping around his neck as she closed the space between them and kissed him passionately.

Their tongues tangled themselves together in a desperate and slightly sloppy fashion. Flipping their positions, Hongjoong carefully laid Y/N down on the mattress, never once breaking their kiss even when his hand dropped down to tug her underwear down her legs. She helped him out by lifting her hips up and was about to pull the hoodie over her head, but Hongjoong stopped her.

"No baby. Keep it on. You look more adorable wearing my clothes." Briefly pulling away from her, he had a cocky smile as he rid himself out of his own boxers.

"Even if I do enjoy taking them off you." He admitted with no shame, which didn't surprise her.

Prying her legs open so he could fit himself between them, Hongjoong peppered butterfly kisses across her forehead and temples, sighing blissfully as he aligned himself at her entrance.

"I love you." He always made sure to state those 3 words before they got lost in their love.

"I know. I love you too." She responded.

Satisfied at hearing his confession being reciprocated, Hongjoong slowly pushed himself inside her, always taking care to be gentle as his lovely girlfriend wasn't as experienced as he was. He let her walls adjust to the intrusion of his member as he busied himself by kissing along the side of her neck and near her jaw while his thumbs rubbed circles on her waist. Y/N took a deep breath and lightly tapped his arm, a sign for him to start moving.

Hongjoong started off with slow and deep strokes, making sure to angle his hips properly so his head would brush against that sweet spot that would have the girl underneath him crying out his name. Y/N's eyes dropped down to look in between their bodies, always fascinated by the image of Hongjoong's cock disappearing inside her. One of her hands came up and slid underneath her covered stomach, a soft gasp escaping her lips when she felt her boyfriend's bulge poke out from under her skin. Noticing this, Hongjoong chuckled softly.

"You like that baby? Like feeling my cock deep inside of you?"

She could only respond with a light nod of her head as she released a faint moan that turned louder when Hongjoong abruptly slammed back into her at a quicker pace.

"You feel so good around me love. You're so tight, warm, and soft- fuck! I can't get enough of you." He hissed as he continued to roll his hips into her.

Y/N loved hearing him say things like that to her. Hearing him say how much he wanted her, it turned her into puddy. However, there was something she had been meaning to ask him to try but didn't know how to approach the topic. Figuring it was the best opportunity then, she looked up at him with large eyes.

"Hongjoong? Can we try something tonight?"

His eyes instantly lit up when she asked that, always eager to satisfy anything she was curious about or wanted to try.

"Of course. Anything you want." He assured her.

"Then can you..... can you degrade me a little?"

Hongjoong suddenly stopped moving and blinked at her with a worried expression on his face. Y/N wondered if maybe she shouldn't have asked that given his reaction. She watched as Hongjoong's bottom lip poked out in a light pout.

"Baby why on earth would you want something like that?" He tilted his head at you.

"I just.... I want you to call me your bad girl." She muttered softly, feeling embarrased at declaring that.

Hongjoong let out a heavy sigh as he cupped her cheeks and squished her face.

"But you're not a bad girl darling. You're my good girl. My sweet, kind and obedient angel who doesn't misbehave or cause trouble." He reasoned with her as he planted his lips on her cheek.

Y/N let out a tiny huff as she began to think she would not be getting what she was hoping for.

"That's what everybody else thinks....don't they?" She could hear and feel the shift in Hongjoong's mood, confirmed even further when he suddenly clasped her wrists and pinned them above her head as he started moving once again, only this time it was a more rough and fast pace. He stared down at Y/N with a hungry gaze, tongue poking out to lick his lips as he slammed his hips deeper in her.

"Got everybody in school fooled thinking you're such a goody two shoes, little miss perfect who is oh so sweet, innocent and pure, has never even kissed anyone."

Hongjoong smirked mischievously, pausing briefly before continuing.

"How do you think they'll react when they found out I ruined you? What will they say about the fact you opened your legs for me and allowed me to steal your virginity?"

Y/N threw her head back against the pillow and groaned loudly. It was true, she had let Hongjoong take away her purity a few months back. It wasn't anything she regretted, she loved and trusted him enough to give herself up to him, and she knew the feeling was mutual with him. And now to have him use that against her at that moment, to remind her of it, it felt amazing.

"What will your parents say? Their perfect daughter not only dating behind their back but actually letting her boyfriend stay over with her and fuck her into the sheets. Bet they'd be mad, bet they'll hate me for tainting their precious little angel." He laughed in a mocking tone.

Y/N's moaning now turned to whining and whimpering, her legs wrapping around Hongjoong's waist when the unrelenting tempo of his thrusts was threatening to throw her over the edge. Hongjoong knew this too given he felt everytime she clenched around his shaft, her walls squeezing onto him as if her life depended on it. He muffled his raspy pants when his lips attacked her mouth once more, his pecks aggresive and teeth nipping at her bottom lip.

"And so many guys will be jealous. You don't know but I've overheard even some of my teammates whisper about how they wanted to rob you of your innocence. Hell, I know for a fact even some of the professors wanted to shove their cocks inside your little pussy." As he dished out those tiny secrets she never knew about, Hongjoong's pounding became more harsh and he snarled with jealousy at the thought of anyone else looking at his prized possession in an erotic way.

Y/N clung onto him as she was on the brink of topping over, nails raking along his back.

"But they'll never get a chance because you're mine. All mine. This pussy of yours is mine. I claimed it a while back and only I get to fuck it. It's mine..... you're mine."

Unable to contain herself anymore, Y/N softly cried out Hongjoong's name as her body started twitching underneath his, face heating up as her juices pooled down her body. With only a few more strokes, Hongjoong himself was shooting his own cum into her, letting out shaky breaths that matched hers, their bodies collapsing on the bed as they tried to recover from the orgasm they just had.

After a few minutes and with his heartbeat back to normal, Hongjoong looked over at the girl beside him. Taking her hand, he held her arm up and aligned it with his so that the matching couple tattoos they got the month before would connect. It was a rather simple and subtle design, both of their wrists decorated with a beach wave that to anyone else wouldn't look out of place or arouse suspicions, but when they held it against each other, the waves formed a heart, which was exactly what Hongjoong was admiring at the moment. Rolling her over so she was facing him, he grabbed her leg and wrapped it around his waist so it would be easier to slip himself back inside the warmth of her walls. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, both of their eyes closing as they began to drift into a serene sleep, safe in each other's arms.

"I love you munchkin." He giggled when her hand smacked his chest.

"Don't start or else you're sleeping on the couch."

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taechaos · 4 years ago

Text

Your Boy, No?

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: You can't stand seeing Jungkook with another girl, so you give him a piece of your mind in a stranger's bedroom by becoming his outlet of sexual frustration.

warnings: losing virginity, riding, degradation

a/n: jungkook's character is not exactly submissive, so i added my own twists to this request. i hope you don't mind @madygswich c:

word count: 2.5k

You can't stop pouting. Holding back tears when seeing a woman perched up on Jungkook's lap while they make out has proven to be difficult, but you're trying. It hurts your heart; hell, you're aching everywhere. It doesn't take a genius to know he's doing it to get a reaction out of you when his eyes are throwing daggers at you with his tongue down another girl's throat.

Following Jungkook around like a lost puppy isn't ideal, especially at a frat party. He never gives you the time of the day if it's not out of menace, but you aren't willing to give up on him. It's just not possible when you are so in love with him, and so fucking jealous.

More than Jungkook, you're mad at the girl. You want to rip her heart out, make her suffer for ever touching the love of your life. You're becoming irrational, mentally cussing her out for being a whore while you stop yourself from breaking down in a house filled with horny young adults. You don't know a single person here, and you have to deal with your pent up emotions all by yourself.

You choke out a sob when Jungkook starts kneading the girl's ass shamelessly with her skirt hiked up to her back. They're being so inappropriate in the kitchen of a stranger's house, while you can't even take a sip from your spiked drink in the bustling living room. You abruptly stand up and throw away your plastic cup when Jungkook's hand disappears elsewhere, and you have an idea of what he's about to do. You march over to him, looking absolutely tiny next to the overbearing college students and you don't notice Jungkook's sinister smile as he watches you fume.

"Let go," you sound hoarse, and not at all intimidating when you push the girl off of his lap. She stumbles at the force, but you pay no mind to her confusion as you pull Jungkook up by his arm to drag him away. You think it's the anger and adrenaline giving you so much strength, but it's Jungkook amusing himself by allowing you to take him upstairs.

"This isn't a therapy session, little girl," he yells over the music, "I didn't come here to listen to you cry."

You huff and let a single tear slip before harshly wiping it away. When you reach the hallway, you enter the first bedroom you find. It's occupied by a foreplaying couple, but you're driven as you hiss, "Out!"

They leave at your demand, and you're confusing a lot of people tonight. Jungkook is surprised by your sudden aggression, but he doesn't stop with his remarks, "the chihuahua's gone mad."

"Shut up, Jungkook!" you whirl around angrily to face him. "How could you do that to me?!"

He quirks a brow. "Do what to you? I'm sorry, am I the one who forcefully brought you here? Am I tripping or are you?"

You push at his chest, "you're a fucking whore! Tonguing a girl in front of everyone, in front of me?"

His shoulders shake in silent laughter and you cross your arms when he starts cackling loudly. The music is drowned out and muffled behind the door, but it's nothing compared to how hysterically Jungkook is laughing.

"What's so funny?" you ask lamely. He throws his head back as he clutches his stomach, and you're starting to get annoyed. You push him on the bed, but he's still laughing. "Quit it already," your voice wavers, but you don't back down as you smack his chest. You place your knees on both sides of his hips to limit his movement and cover his mouth to shut him up.

His crescent eyes turn intense instantly as he glares at you under his hooded lids. He exerts only a tiny bit of his energy into pushing your hand away and you weakly collapse on him. It's foul play to compete with his muscles, and you realize he can snap you in half if he wanted to regardless of your rush of adrenaline.

You sit back up as he lowly speaks, "The fuck's it to you? I wanted to fuck her, and I was going to until you stepped in as if you're my girlfriend. Tell me why I shouldn't go back to her right now." He clasps his hands under his head, making himself comfortable with your weight pressing against his crotch.

"You know why," you huff with a frown, and you look so cute in the dim lighting with your baggy knitted sweater bunching up on the sleeves, sitting on his bulge with so much innocence in your expression. He's smitten, but it doesn't show in his cold stare. "I'm your girl, and I won't tolerate you messing around with other women. It's slutty!" You slightly bounce for emphasis, but your knee-length skirt hides your actions. Jungkook feels it with you, and his eyes trail down to your lower region.

"My girl?" he parrots with a raised brow. He gazes back into your eyes. "You do my homework."

"I don't care. I love you," you plead pathetically, "please say you love me back."

"Wasn't I a whore just a second ago?"

"You were! Apologize to me," you harshly yank his head back by his hair. He doesn't react in the slightest, so you softly add, "please."

"Oh little girl," he sighs, "are you really trying to dominate me right now?"

"I am dominating you. Promise me you won't kiss another girl like that again. I won't forgive you a second time."

"Yeah? What's my loss?"

"Well, you're lazy in school," you bluntly state, "and no one loves you like I do. No one would try to cater to you like I do. I'd do anything for you, Kookie." You tug down your skirt to take it off and plop back down on him before saying, "Including sex. You can only use me for your sexual needs."

He's enamored by your words, but he doesn't dare share it with you. Instead, he thrusts upwards and you yelp when you jump. "Go on then," he says nonchalantly. "Show me how much of a slut you are."

"U-Um, okay," you stutter and start unzipping his black denim jeans. You've seen a lot of porn videos to make sure you were prepared for the next step with Jungkook, but you have no experience with penetration.

And he realizes that rather quickly when you're so meek with your actions. With a groan, he asks, "You're not a fucking virgin, are you?"

"I've been saving it for the right guy," you answer with offence. This is a special occasion, and you want him to take it as seriously as you do. But it's definitely not a good idea to be snarky with him when you can barely remember the steps for safe sex. "Do you have a condom?"

"It's in my pocket," he grumbles and points at his front without taking it out himself. You're excited and nervous as you tear the wrapper and take out the preservative. You have no idea how to put it on, but you're topping so you clumsily push down his briefs. Jungkook is surprisingly throbbing under you, and you blush at the sight of his erection.

He stops himself from teasing you and saying that the girl from earlier gave him this boner, but he doesn't want to be cruel yet. It's your first time, and truthfully, he jacks off to thought of you too often anyway. He can handle being somewhat nice by staying quiet, but that doesn't mean he would teach you how to put on a condom.

You slip it on with little struggle, and don't waste any time in positioning his cock in your entrance. Before he can stop you, you sink down on his length with a painful moan. He wants to tell you that losing your virginity in this position is the most painful, but instead he groans, "Holy shit, how are you so fucking tight?"

It hurts so fucking bad. Your tear ducts are like clockwork as they water instantly, but you lower yourself down to the hilt anyway. You're quite literally sitting on his cock as you try to catch your breath because God, you're in so much pain.

"Fuck, are you okay?" he asks, but he's more worried about controlling himself from fucking into you before you can adjust. It's difficult, but he's trying.

"Jungkook," you whimper quietly with your eyes screwed shut, "it hurts."

"You're so fucking dumb for doing this, but you feel so fucking good," he pants as he holds your hips.

"Thank you," you muster out in a breath. A few seconds pass until the pain starts to numb, and you move against him very slowly. Your walls are stinging, but it feels like Heaven for Jungkook who you clench down on.

"Go up and down," he instructs with a bit lip. He tries to move your hips, but you're resisting in fear of another shock of pain. "Come on!"

"Can you wait?" you hiss through clenched teeth.

He's trying to rile you up when he says, "Sana wouldn't take this fucking long."

And it works, because you bounce once. "Don't say her name!"

He groans at your tightness, and he can't believe how wet you are. You're dripping on him, and he curses himself for holding back because of your hopeless romance. He can't entertain your conservative way of going on about this any longer, so he continues, "She would have made me cum by now, but this prissy princess can't even get a move on."

It's almost pathetic how one push from Jungkook makes you start moving, and it feels less uncomfortable to hop up and down against his pelvis. The filthy sound of slapping skin mixing with the generic radio music is making you feel so slutty because it's so stereotypical, but when Jungkook moans, it brings heat all over your body. You take your sweater off when sweat begins to cumulate on your temples, and he commands, "Take off your bra too."

He's thrusting into you as you unclasp the black material, freeing your breasts as he finds his new eyecandies. You are so pretty, your nipples are so hard, and your cunt sucks him in so perfectly. It almost upsets him when he realizes how much pleasure he's deprived himself of; the amount only you seem to be able to provide, because it's beyond physical intimacy.

"Good girl," he exhales and gently slams into you with his hands fondling your tits. You smile coyly through your tears, and he asks, "Does it still hurt?"

You contemplate for a second, because you don't feel the best yet, but you don't want to disappoint Jungkook either. "I-It doesn't," you lie.

Jungkook mentally rolls his eyes; he really wants to believe you so he can chase his high, but he sees right through you. He slaps your tit without mercy and chastises you, "don't lie. I thought this was your little moment of control."

"I'm sorry," you pout as you slowly ride him.

"Another lie," he slaps your other tit more harshly and you yelp.

"I'm not lying!" you plead and hasten your pace, desperate to sell your lie. It's working, because you're starting to feel a knot in your stomach the more you adjust.

He moans with you, and you lose yourself when he stills your hips and begins to fuck you himself. It's rough, loud, and the pain is your pleasure. His balls slap against your skin as he easily slides in and out of you with the help of your arousal. Your love dawns on him when you're so turned on for him without any foreplay, and he's on cloud nine because nothing can compare to being inside you.

The setting is so unlike you, fucking in someone's bedroom with a bunch of people behind the unlocked door who can barge in at any given moment, but he finds it so sexy. You only care about being with him, and you really do look like his slut now.

His hands start holding onto your ass, kneading it until it turns red with his fingerprints, and he demands you to kiss him. You're out of it, your ears are ringing and you can only moan out his name, but you can't bear to ignore him. Your lips fall on his, and the kiss is sloppy with his tongue all over your mouth. You can't keep up, but your chest swells with pride when you realize how needy he is for you. He goes as far as to spit in your mouth, and you swallow it without hesitation.

"You want me to play with your clit?" he murmurs against your lips, and his voice sounds so airy and melodic to your ears. "Hm? Want me to make you feel good, little slut?"

You whine without a clear response because his lips feel so soft and wet, and that's the only thing you can focus on. All you want to do is kiss him and he doesn't stop you from doing so, but you're even more overwhelmed when he starts touching you while penetrating you. "No," you whimper, "I'll cum."

"A slut can take it," he grunts and rubs your clit faster, and you come undone all too soon. You moan loudly as you tremble, shaking as he rides out your high with a pinch to your clit. You're numb when you collapse on top of him, but he's relentless with his thrusts. He's using your body as you intended, and he's vocal with his pleasure and teasing climax. It's remarkable how he holds you up when you've gone limp and still fucks you just as hard.

You want to record his voice when he starts to whine pathetically, but you have no energy left within. He's panting in your ear, and it's not long before his hips fall on the mattress with a sigh. He's surprised by how powerful his orgasm was, as he fills the condom with his release instantly. His cock is still nestled inside you as both of you recover from your climax.

"Get off," he taps your thigh, and he pushes you off when you don't obey immediately. Your spell has worn off as he starts to dress himself. "I'm going back to the dorms." You listen to him with your mind in a haze. "Unless you want to get raped on your way without me, get the fuck up now."

"Can you carry me please?"

He shrugs and swings your arm over his shoulder, picking up your body with ease. He collects your clothes in his hand, but doesn't hand them to you as he steps out of the room.

"W-Wait, Jungkook, I'm naked-"

"You're my girl, no? Be a good slut and shut the fuck up."

Dangling off his shoulder with your bare tits pressed against his back, you close your eyes and drift off on the way to campus.

Boyfriends typically drop their girlfriends off anyway, right?

#bts scenarios #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts imagines #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #bts smut #jungkook smut #jjk smut #jungkook imagines

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standbowed · 1 year ago

Text

It's only after she's gone and called out to Kakyoin already, steps hastening to reach his side, that it occurs to Hachi that he might be busy. Naturally, her brain--ever the go-getter in the realm of overthinking--is quick to catch up, prompting her fretful question--it gives the man an out if he's in no mood to deal with Hachi's chattiness. Because really, what if Kakyoin doesn't want company? What if this is his first moment all day to himself and she's disrupting it? What if when he told her to come talk to him anytime, he was just being nice? What if--

Oh, he's replied.

"Euhh huh? Me? Really?" Hachi blinks, lifting an index finger to gesture between herself and him with a mildly bewildered expression. Her steps stumble for a moment, the heel of one shoe and the toe of her other briefly colliding before she corrects it with a quiet 'oop'. She clears her throat, a touch embarrassed, and fiddles with a few wayward keychains hanging from her school bag as he speaks, asking after her stand. Oh! Right. They'd talked about that the last time.

"Ummmm--it's going good, I think! Actually, I found out recently that one of my neighbours has one of those, ah…" She pauses here, hands gesturing about as she tries to recall the exact name. She outlines a vaguely upside-down L-shape with one hand, the thumb of her other hand jutting out to make a few button-pushing motions. Both hands then convene to make--some kind of jagged wave-like motion? She's lost the plot on this one fast--oh! She snaps her fingers triumphantly, her next step a bit bouncier. "Those speed-reader radar guns, you know? And he was nice enough to lend it to me, when I asked. Which reminds me, I said I'd make him some coffee cake as thanks, I need to drop that off--ack, but that's not what we're talking about right now…"

She taps at the side of her head, grimacing, then shakes her head. She flashes him an apologetic look. "Sorry, Kakyoin-san… Like I was saying, I borrowed it to run some tests about Driver 8's "Take A Break" and "Reach Your Destination" tickets." She holds a palm up to him now, expression earnestly serious. "Take it with a grain of salt, because my grades in stuff like science and math are pretty average, so I had to go over it a few times to make sure. But! I did drop tests a bunch of times, from the same height, with a few different objects of varying size and weight. Once as-is, once with an orange ticket, once with a blue ticket for each one for comparison. It seems like the amount a single ticket can increase or decrease the speed and, um, oomph--" She pauses here to make a swinging motion with one arm, fist hitting her open palm with a whap. "Like, the force of something in motion--is by about 4%. Ah, I timed the duration, too, just to be sure--it's 8 seconds, like I thought. After that it burns off and the speed returns to normal."

"Umm, what else… the ticket effects stack, so two orange tickets shot in rapid succession will up the speed by 8% instead of 4%…" Here she starts counting her points on her fingers. "But the duration doesn't change, each ticket lasts for 8 seconds each. Size and weight don't seem to effect the ability of the tickets from what I saw, either, though there's gotta be a hard limit somewhere."

She takes a breath and flashes a sheepish smile with a duck of her head. "Well... it's not exactly groundbreaking research, or anything, but... I think I understand how it works a little better now. Did you have to do a lot of trial and error with your stand when you were younger, Kakyoin-san?"

↳ ❛ sorry, did you want to be alone ?? ❜

sender : @standbowed / source : prompted / status : closed .

daylight hits the heart of town at an awkward angle , offering a hint that afternoon has started to bleed into evening . kakyoin tugs at his sleeve to unveil the face of his watch , seeking exact digits to quantify the hour of day & calculating the quickly - elapsing hours remaining to advance the investigation before night falls . lavender eyes then raise toward the striking yellow sky , noting the hints of violet & cerise that slowly creep past the horizon , & he employs the stretch of calm to reflect on his findings so far . exactly how many people had nijimura keicho struck with the arrow ?? he’d gleaned his motive from okuyasu , but even he hadn’t been able to provide a complete number of those implemented in his late brother’s target practice , even if he could name quite a few , & claimed believable ignorance to just how many stand users had been created in the escapade .

how outrageous that a teenage boy could acquire such an incredible power & exploit it to this degree . nevertheless , kakyoin cannot be too surprised ; with all he’s seen & been through , this is but another bizarre event he’s found himself roped into ━━━━ except now , he’s actively chosen the chaos , & with a notable enthusiasm , given that stand research is the aspect of his job for which he feels the most passion . truthfully , this is the least taxing thing he’s meant to be investigating here .

the calling of his name extracts him from his thoughts , prompting a shift of his head toward the direction of the newly - recognizable voice . widened with surprise , cool - toned amethysts swiftly warm up at the sight of the young girl bounding to catch up with him , & kakyoin comes to a stop to accommodate her , smiling wide as they exchange greetings . they haven’t been acquainted that long , but kakyoin is positively charmed by hachi ━━━━ the bubbly , puppylike young woman exudes a kind of sweet innocence that he feels compelled to protect , & considering the monstrous depravity occupying the shadows of the town she calls home , that instinct meets intense reinforcement . like hell he’ll let her name show up on the list of victims .

“ huh ?? ” he voices , lashes fluttering in his confusion . “ now , what would make you ask me such a thing ?? did i look really busy , or something ?? ” kakyoin chuckles , brushing a curtain of crimson hair over his shoulder . “ actually , hachi - chan , you’re just the person i was hoping to see . how has figuring out your stand been going ?? have you discovered anything new ?? ”

#ic.#rp.#sacredpit #queue.#kakyoin looking at hachi and going 'is anyone gonna informally adopt that' and not waiting for an answer #THIS IS SO SWEET but it's also cracking me up bc in hachi's exaggerated mind's eye kakyoin is soooo like #effervescently beautiful man of mystery with main character energy. meanwhile she is Just Some Girl walking with him. comedy gold.#half of this is just me describing hachi hand gestures that make little to no sense LMAO #truly the interacting with hachi experience tho

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yoonpobs · 4 years ago

Text

bad boy good thing v.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 2, 435

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

a glimpse into the past

“Yes. I’ve literally just stepped foot into my apartment.” Jungkook huffs with his phone between his ears and his shoulders as he attempts to multitask, hands moving a box of the dining table.

But Jimin is persistent and he’s yapping his ear off, something about dropping by in a few but Jungkook is barely paying attention, not when the existential crisis of no longer being a high school student that could hide under an institution with a false sense of security. College was different. He was on his own, even with the presence of his friends; and Jungkook was both terrified and excited.

He’d always dream of the start of his college life. Jungkook was a bit of a dreamer, and he aimed to live out the best life possible; all while trying to juggle his academics and do some extracurriculars on the side. When he told Taehyung about his ambitions, his friend just blinked and him and offered a snort; with an almost taunting pat on his shoulder.

You’ll see.

Jungkook didn’t know what he meant then, and he can only wait to find out.

“Do you need help moving in? Tae and I just finished a lecture and we’ve got the rest of the day off.” Jimin asks over the phone, and while Jungkook wants to start off his journey being independent; there were boxes of his belongings that looked way too unappealing to deal with alone.

“You’d to that?” Jungkook sighs, eyebrows furrowing when he searches for the box that goes into his bedroom.

“Come on, Kook.” Jimin whines, “You think your own hyungs won’t help you out?” His jibe is lighthearted, which only makes Jungkook roll his eyes at his friends' words.

“I know.” Jungkook affirms, “Just college life, you know? Thought you’d be busy having your third existential crisis of the week to help out.”

Jimin snorts over the line, “Try this day, kid.”

Jungkook chuckles, and mumbles something under his breath before puffing; grabbing his phone with his hand as he thinks of a question he’s meant to ask for a while, ever since he stepped foot onto campus and his accommodation.

“Is ____ with you?” Jungkook asks.

Jungkook did so some growing in the time after you’d graduated, and he supposes that he relied a little too much on you as well as Jimin and Taehyung growing up in high school. Because once the three of you graduated, Jungkook was essentially left to fend for himself when you no longer were able to pick him up with a call away or help him out with difficult math problems when you had college to worry about.

It was horrible at first, purely because Jungkook missed you and your kindness. Sure, phone calls and texts worked—but your presence was always more than what words could ever offer, and Jungkook found himself searching for other methods to survive the next two years in high school without you there looking over him.

His football teammates had always been just his football teammates until he was forced to fraternise with them on a deeper level, and he realised that they weren’t too bad. They were fun and full of life, definitely the type of people that he found himself having fun with. He’s always been surrounded with people that were older than him, you, Jimin and Taehyung for example—and having peers his age to hang out with was a pandora box he never knew he’d ever get used to.

Take Eunwoo for example. Jungkook was petrified of him because there was no way a sixteen-year-old could look that could, and if he looked like that before puberty finished its course—then what the hell was he going to look like after?

But he was a nice guy, a fun person to hang out with and he definitely taught Jungkook some things he’d never dare ask Jimin or Taehyung. Things about women and men; the interrelationships that could be navigated with enough practice.

And enter Yuna, the first girl he’s ever had the ability to get to know in his life besides you. It was the typical cheerleader-meets-footballer trope that Jungkook would always scoff at, but according to Eunwoo “it’s only right that the same type of people minded together.”

Jungkook furrowed his brows when Eunwoo clasped him on his back when he told him that with a wink, suggestive eyes when he exposed a not-so-secret that Yuna had on Jungkook after one of their football games during his senior year.

But Jungkook thought otherwise, probably because he remembered you telling him that people were fundamentally different and social interactions with different walks of life only made life more beautiful and worth living. Seeing the diversity in cultures and experiences opens up our hearts to a world that doesn’t exist for us—it keeps us humble.

Jungkook blindly agreed then, likely entranced with you in general to consider the weight of your words. But Eunwoo was like a constant reminder, and he was older then—a little more subdued enough to pay attention to the words of his friend.

And when Jungkook continued his high school life, it seemed like more and more people seemed to pay attention to him. It wasn’t like he was unpopular before, he definitely caught the eyes of many—but it was different then. It was like Jungkook was his own person and people thought he was cool enough to approach.

So when Yuna shyly asked him out for a date, Jungkook said yes even though he still thought of you.

And when Eunwoo slapped a pack of condoms into his palm while his other football teammates hollered, Jungkook took the leap of faith and lost his virginity the same night.

So, yeah. Jungkook did some growing up—and he hopes that it’ll be enough for you to see him as a man.

“—she’s always doing so much that she barely has time for us and I get that she’s always been an overachiever but we miss her, you know?” Jimin complains, and Jungkook just about returns back from his flashback.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Jungkook says sheepishly.

“Were you not listening to me rant for the past five minutes?” Jimin exasperates and Jungkook hears some shuffling and a chuckle, possibly coming from Taehyung, on the other end of the line.

“You do have the tendency to go off tangent, Jimin,” Jungkook mutters.

Jimin scoffs, “It’s called paying attention to the details you brat. But anyway, to sum it up for you since you wanna be annoying—_____ isn’t with us. She’s got this student council thing and a meeting with a bunch of ambassadors visiting the campus in the evening.”

Jungkook blinks, taking a moment to process the information. He smiles fondly to himself, realising that you always did fine on your own—and he supposes it’s always been that way. You were quiet and never imposing, but you still did your best.

“Oh.” Jungkook says, “Will I be able to see her soon?”

Jimin snorts on the other end.

“Why are you asking me? You have her number right?” Jimin retorts, “Though it may be difficult reaching her cause she takes like five business days to reply if you aren’t work-related.”

Jungkook chuckles while he fiddles with his thumb. He can see you working hard, eyebrows furrowed as you type out emails and organise events like the efficient woman you were.

He’s seen pictures of you on social media, courtesy of Jimin and Taehyung who’d post stories of your pouts when they’d drag you out for some social time, according to their captions. And God, did you grow up even more beautiful than you were in high school.

Jungkook saw you as the girl he admired in high school and it was mostly his puppy-loved up brain thinking of you like this super smart and out of his reach senior that he wanted to respect. But now that Jungkook was … older. He still thinks you’re admirable and smart, but he can’t lie and say he didn’t notice other things.

Like how certain tops flatter your collarbones so nicely that he wonders what it’s like to sink his teeth into them. Or how you’ve experimented with tennis skirts that look like easy access for a territory Jungkook’s used as one of many of his spank bank materials. Even the way your eyes innocently glance up in pictures makes Jungkook’s brain hazy.

Jungkook was older, and so were you. The two of you were in college and it was different. You weren’t just his high school senior and he wasn’t just the little kid that worshipped you. It was free game and Jungkook wanted to make to most out of it.

“I will.” Jungkook nods with a declaration and a sense of determination in his chest. “What time does she finish?”

A brief moment of silence until Jimin responds, snorting to himself.

“She usually gets off her meetings at—10 pm?” Jimin ponders out loud. “You’re really going to wait for her?”

Jungkook wants to add he’s been doing that all this while, but keeps it to himself.

“Just can’t wait to see her.” He shrugs casually.

“You still have that schoolboy crush on her?” Jimin teases. But Jungkook doesn’t flush this time. He’s had his handful of experiences to navigate his way with feelings and desire.

“Not a crush.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. But he wasn’t going to admit that to Jimin or Taehyung just yet. “Is it bad to want to see an old friend?”

“Whatever you say, Jungkook.” Jimin sing-songs. “But I will warn you; _____ isn’t the type.”

At this, Jungkook furrows his eyebrows.

“What?”

Jimin sighs, “Whatever it is you’re thinking … stop.” And his words oddly set off an uneasy feeling in Jungkook’s chest that he doesn’t like. “You know _____. She’s not the kind of person that dates or fucks around. I don’t think she’s even looked at any guy on campus ever since we were enrolled two years ago.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, feeling slightly ashamed that he’s been caught so early on. But along with growing up, Jungkook’s grown quite a bit of an ego too.

“What makes you think I want to fuck her? What if I really just miss her?” Jungkook snaps.

“Kook, I love you and you’re my best friend but I’ve seen your Instagram stories and escapades. I have no problem with you being sexually active or whatever—you do you, as long as it’s consensual and within respectable boundaries. I know you think college is like this unobstructed territory where you can just fuck around with people but _____ really isn’t like that. I’ve been there and I’m telling you to drop it.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw, “You’ve wanted to fuck her?” Jungkook accuses.

He can practically hear and feel Jimin’s eye roll over the phone.

“No, you idiot.” Jimin sighs, “I’ve had the same intentions as you with other women. While they may be receiving and comfortable with that, _____ won’t be. I hear and recognise your tone and I’m warning you against it.”

Jungkook purses his lips, wanting to defend himself further. But he realises, who is Jimin to tell him what to do with his life? He isn’t a kid anymore.

“You’re reaching.” Jungkook tells Jimin, “You don’t have to worry okay? I just miss ____ and I want to see her before orientation on Friday. Is that a crime?”

“Again, I don’t know what you really want so I won’t project anymore. But I’m telling you, ______ is _____. You don’t think dudes have tried with her before?”

Somehow the revelation of the fact that you did have two years to mingle around with other people and potentially get with men (or women) that weren’t him causes a different type of dread to fill his stomach, an ugly emotion of jealousy. One that he’s never felt before and he doesn’t like it at all.

“God, I haven’t even seen you yet and you’re already micromanaging my entire life.” Jungkook scowls.

“The double standard is real.” Jimin scoffs, “You used to follow _____ around like a lost puppy when we knew each other first? I feel betrayed, man.” Jimin is joking but the reminder makes Jungkook still.

"That's ... different." Jungkook protests.

Jimin snorts as if he doesn't believe his friend.

"Oh, it is different all right. You, my friend, are whipped." He snickers, "Too bad the two of you are basically polar opposites, huh?"

Jungkook freezes on the other end when Jimin casually lets it slip the thought that somewhat plagues his mind, too.

"We're not that different." Jungkook defends himself.

"Says you Mr Athlete all throughout high school. I bet you ten bucks that you were already recruited by one of the football dudes here."

Jungkook scowls because Jimin was spot on.

"Okay. I do sports and she doesn't. That's it." Jungkook snaps.

Jimin clicks his tongue, "You're all for the attention, dude. _____ always keeps it on the down-low while you do your best when people are cheering you on. It's like the spotlight follows you wherever you go and she does her best avoiding it."

Jimin clenches his jaw because while Jimin's words were lighthearted, and he knew better than to ever put you down because the three of you were all good friends—the fact that someone as close to the two of you as Jimin; was laying out the obvious makes Jungkook doubt himself a lot more.

"Oh, and you're the best at psychoanalysing people right?" Jungkook sneers.

Jimin snickers on the other end but Jungkook can't find it in himself to laugh.

"Relax. I'm joking, all right?" Jimin reassures his friend. "You don't even like her that way, right? That's what you said anyway."

Right. He didn't. That's what he told Jimin.

"Right," Jungkook says stiffly.

"If the two of you ever ended up together, though ..." It's as if Jimin was the one dead-set on pushing for it as Jungkook wishes for him to drop it. "Nah. It wouldn't happen. It probably wouldn't work out either."

Jungkook forces a dry chuckle before muttering a lame excuse and hanging up.

He loved Jimin, the guy was a good friend on an average day and an absolute sweetheart on better ones. And Jungkook knew that Jimin meant no malice when he spoke of the potential relationship between you and Jungkook because, well ... Jungkook has always been the younger guy. And that would be weird, wouldn't it?

But Jungkook knows he's done some growing up. And he'll prove it—in whatever way possible.

Jimin doesn’t need to know.

528 notes · View notes