#she kills me like her entire relationship with timothy like....if i love u better than i love my mother

[rosmarinys]

emily axford as ylfa snorgelsson in d20: neverafter

[ambivalent-anarchy]

It's Gonna Be Me (Part 1)

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: A bit angsty. Not too much though

This starts off as basic as possible, but I swear it gets better soon lol...

Hope you like it!!!

---------------------------------------

You might been hurt, babe, that ain't no lie

You've seen them all come and go

I remember you told me, that it made you believe in no man, no cry

Maybe that's why

~~~~~~~~~

Peter Parker knew a lot about hopelessly waiting.

Years ago, he'd hopelessly waited to not be the helpless, lanky nerd of the school anymore. That's when the spider came.

Months after the blip, he'd waited for any luck with MJ. That's when the Europe trip happened.

It seemed that every time he'd hopelessly wait for something, he'd always come to find out that maybe the situation wasn't so hopeless after all.

Which was why this particular situation bothered him. Because this one really was hopeless.

It'd always start the same.

"[Y/N]- hey, what's wrong?," Peter asked, furrowing his eyebrows, though he already knew the answer. At this point, the entire school knew the answer.

It had actually lasted longer than Peter had expected. But what mattered now is that his best friend was at his doorstep and in tears.

"Timothy was cheating on me, Pete. H-he doesn't love me... I'm so stupid."

"C'mon, come in." He ushered her to the livingroom. They sat on the couch. "It's not your fault, [Y/N]. Don't blame yourself for his crap."

Tears flowed freely down her cheeks. He hated to see her cry.

"Why do I always pick the bad ones?," she wept softly.

Peter pulled her into a tight hug, giving his friend the best comfort that he could give. He softly told her a rendition of what he said each time something like this would happen.

"[Y/N], listen. You are beautiful. Any guy would be lucky to have someone as smart and as loyal and as funny as you -And Timothy? Screw him. He doesn't deserve you. What matters is that you have MJ, Ned- heck, even Aunt May..."

He let her go, looking away as a blush crept onto his face. "A-a-and me..." He looked back at her, with a boyish smirk on his face.

She smiled back softly. "Thanks Pete." At that, she went in for a hug. "You're the best friend a girl could ask for..."

They sat for a while. She cried on his shoulder. She ranted. He gave consoling words. She spent the night on his couch.

This wasn't the first time this had happened. In fact, her tears that night weren't even a drop in the bucket compared to others.

[Y/N] had always had bad luck with guys.

She'd had her heart broken more times than she could count.

And Peter was always right there by her side, waiting to console her. Every time.

Every. Damn. Time.

And frankly, he was sick of it.

"What's wrong, bud?," Ned asked the next day at school.

"Nothing," Peter mumbled, staring death glares into the lines on his desk.

"Let me guess..[Y/N] found out about Tim?"

Peter blew out a sigh. "Yeah."

"I feel bad for her," Ned said. "I mean, has she ever really had a relationship that's lasted longer than a month?"

Peter twisted his mouth in distress and scratched the back of his head. "Uh, I think maybe when she was with Hank... -yeah that one lasted a bit longer."

"What happened to that one anyway?"

Peter rolled his eyes, clenching his fists. "They were going good up until he stood her up for prom last year."

He thought back to what [Y/N] had cried that night.

'Why do I always pick the bad ones?'

He clenched his jaw. 'Yeah.. why do you?'

Ned's eyes went wide. "Wow. She's really got bad luck doesn't she?"

Peter went silent as he attempted to watch the smartboard in front of him and Ned immediately knew to be quiet. He knew he wouldn't be able to focus but it would still beat having this conversation.

Still, there was only one thought that was stuck in Peter's mind as he held his pencil so tight that he could feel it ready to snap.

'She wouldn't if she had me...'

-

"Okay guys, [Y/N]'s in the lunch line getting her food," MJ announced to the table that afternoon. "And we all know she just found out about Timothy so- you know, when she gets here..try not to be.. yourselves."

Ned nearly spat his food out. "What?!"

Peter swung his head around.

"Come on guys." MJ rolled her eyes. "You both- especially you Ned- you guys have a habit of making insensitive jokes and not realizing until it's too late."

She gave them the meanest death glare, but Peter wasn't having it. "Says you Miss. 'I Like It When People Are Sad'."

MJ scoffed. "Not my friends, weirdo."

"Shh! She's coming!," Ned whisper-shouted.

They watched as their friend [Y/N] walked up to the lunch table. But something was different from the last times.

She didn't look like she had been crying. She wore her regular clothes, not something that looked thrown together. Her mascara was perfect and not running at all. She looked like she hadn't been cheated on at all.

She looked good.

[Y/N] dropped her plate onto the table. "Okay, attention guys!"

"You feeling okay, [Y/N]?," Peter asked, concerned. "I know last night-"

"Last night is over, Pete," she said proudly. "And I am now here to announce that I am officially done with guys!" She stuck her chin up dramatically high.

Evidently, she had yelled that too loudly, because Flash, from another table, quickly yelled out," Yo, [Y/L/N]'s going lez!"

The majority of the lunchroom turned to her.

"What? No," she laughed back. "Not what I meant, Flash..."

He looked her up and down, biting his lip. "So does that mean...?"

"Okay shut up, dickhead," MJ yelled, standing up. "Back to your food, people. Nothing to see here!"

[Y/N] turned back towards the table and composed herself before speaking again. "Anyway, so yeah, I'm done with guys," she said with a big smile on her face.

MJ looked to [Y/N], Ned, Peter, and then back to [Y/N].

This was a problem. A big one. Because MJ knew that a simple fact. Peter liked [Y/N]. Anyone with a brain could figure that out.

"What do you mean?," Ned asked. "Does that mean Peter and I have to leave?"

[Y/N] laughed. "Haha! No, Ned. Of course not!" She lowered her chin a bit. "I'm just sick of getting hurt, ya know? There's only so much heartbreak a girl can take..." She sadly chuckled a little.

MJ furrowed her eyebrows. She looked to Peter, who held a lost expression on his face. "What do you think, Pete?"

Suddenly breaking out of his trance, he started to speak. "U-uh, um, maybe y-your going about this the wrong way, [Y-Y/N]?" He ran his fingers through his hair. "I-I mean..." He looked away. "There are lots of great guys out there who w-would.. kill to have you, [Y/N]."

Obviously, [Y/N] didn't pick up what the young superhero was attempting to put down. She rolled her eyes. "Well, my stuttery friend, until those 'great' guys make themselves known, I'm done."

Peter shrunk into himself, looking anywhere but [Y/N]'s face. "Y-yeah..I guess."

MJ scoffed. Was this really going over [Y/N]'s head? Her and Peter didn't work out but she could still admit, he was a great guy that deserved a chance. That's why they stayed friends afterward. "Isn't this a little extreme, [Y/N]?"

"Not extreme at all," [Y/N] clucked her tongue. "Just necessary."

Suddenly and frantically, Peter stood and practically ran to the trash can to throw away his food and leave.

"What's his deal?," [Y/N] asked, popping some gum into her mouth.

"Seriously?" MJ's face was incredulous. "Learn to read a room, man..."

~~~~~~~~~

Every little thing I do never seems enough for you

You don't wanna lose it again

But I'm not like them

--------------------------------------- This one was a bit of a set-up, sooo... hope you enjoyed!!!

Tell me if you would like to be tagged!

[twilightofthe]

For the Star Wars questions- 16 & 19. :)

Thank you!!! (y’all this got ridiculously long for two damn questions lol)

Send me a number and i’ll tell u my fave/least fave:

16. Book/Comic (Aight, so I’m actually not a huge comic reader in general, most of my comic knowledge comes from other fans on here posting about them, so this is gonna be mainly book-focused)

FAVE:  Welllllll, since I’m literally incapable of narrowing down my favorite anythings, I’m gonna do faves for both canon and EU novels.  

Canon-wise, it’s a tie beween A New Dawn and Ahsoka.  I know I don’t post about them as much on here, but I truly have a super soft spot for Kanera and Kanan and Hera’s characters, they’re just so GOOD and I love themmmmm aaaaaaaaa.  You get super good insights to how Kanan was running wild and traumatized and trying to repress everything and how Hera was a little naïve but still tough as nails and she had a dream and she was going to make it happen or so help her, ugh I just love how the story showed how they’re strongest as a team working together and I just love character dynamics where the two are so obviously married and kinda snark at each other sometimes but they have each other’s backs through everything and know each other like the back of their hands and uggghhhh this is just such a healthy good ship and such a good book.  The Ahsoka novel is just fantastic all on its own because it shows Ahsoka as a young adult, kinda floundering and lost in this new world, full of guilt over what happened with Anakin and the Order, trying to do what she can to help people and just enduring because she’s a survivor, she was raised (by two argumentative, adoptive parents who love her very much SO SAYETH THE BOOK) to be a survivor and handle herself, but that doesn’t mean she’s not lonely as all hell.  And oof I just fucking adore Kaeden Larte and her relationship with Ahsoka (who absolutely comes back and marries her once the war is over oh yes) and her relationship with Miara and ugh just all of it is A+++++.  E.K. Johnston is just an amazing author in general and her other book, Queen’s Shadow is one of my two canon runner ups because I am in love with her Sabé and her Padmé.  Other canon runner up is A Certain Point Of View, if only for the “Time of Death” chapter.  Don’t get me wrong, the rest of it is also fantastic, but oh god it kills me DEAD OBI WAN DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER AND I CRY I REALLY CRY

EU-wise (oh god, I haven’t even gotten to least-faves yet), it has to be the Revenge of the Sith novelization.  Without a question.  Y’all it’s SO FUCKIN’ good, and in my personal opinion should be considerrred canonnnnnn (look I think the reason they gave for excluding it is that there’s no mention of Ahsoka or Rex or Mandalore or any of the stuff that happened literally the day before which is valid, but I counterpoint that Anakin is a mess with A Lot Going On At The Moment, he could have just forgot?  He forgets most of his morals, all of his common sense, and three of his limbs by the end of the story, Snips could have just slipped his mind! xD).  Anyway, besides the fact that it’s like 99% written in Obikin-colored glasses which really just makes me happy as a person because I love it being acknowledged just how important they are to each other, it really offers a deeper insight INSIDE the chaos going on in Anakin’s head, the mess, just why he falls so quickly and so awfully.  I love it gives the Padmé plot that got cut on screen some validity.  The beautiful beginning and the goddam introductions to Anakin Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi are just A++++++++++++++ and oof other people can more accurately describe just how good this book is, but I love it a Big Lot ok?

LEAST FAVE:  Okey doke, here we go....  So firstly for canon, I’m not the biggest fan of how Claudia Grey writes Leia’s character.  She’s a wonderful storyteller and I love her worldbuilding, but just the way she characterizes Leia herself never felt... right, ya know?  Idk, I can’t really explain it, but it makes it difficult for me to enjoy her Leia novelsWarning right now that this is a VERY unpopular opinion and my opinion alone, please do not yell at me!  So as skilled and admired an author Timothy Zahn is, I don’t like the Thrawn books.  I’m sorry, I don’t.  To me, Thrawn is just.... ok so he’s like BBC!Sherlock but in space.  The plot makes a big deal about how “oooh cool and intelligent and Literally Better Than Everyone Else” Thrawn is, but the only way they really show his “cleverness” is by either him solving problems by pulling together information that literally no one but the writer knows and then acting like it was oh so obvious and in front of everyone OR, the story dumbs down other characters to make him look smart.  And maybe it was because the one Thrawn book goes after Anakin/Vader in particular to do the latter is what kinda ticked me off on Thrawn books in general, but y’all, it really ticked me off, because Anakin is like the lowest hanging fruit for an author to pick to make their character look good in comparison, and therefore it is done All The Time (LOOKING AT YOU, CLONE WARS), which I think is lazy and an insult to Anakin’s character.  Look, I am fully aware Anakin Skywalker is a dolt to the highest degree sometimes, but he is ALSO A GENIUS.  He is SMART.  IT IS CANON THAT HE IS SMART.  So when the Thrawn book has Thrawn constantly one-upping Anakin The Useless Doofus (and Padmé a bit!!!) and then doing it again once he meets him as Vader, that just makes me hmmmm.

The canon comics are actually gonna be featured on the list here a bit because if y’all don’t already know my hatred for That One Particular Vader Comic (not the rest of the series run as I have not read it and from what I hear, it’s excellent and I’d probs like it a lot) doing the implication in a dream sequence where it says that Palpatine used the Dark Side to impregnate Shmi and create Anakin, well I HATE IT.  Look, I know the plot was literally about Sidious trying to mess with Vader’s head and that dream shouldn’t be trusted, but it fooled all the fans too and now like 60% of Star Wars fans actually believe Sidious fathered Anakin and I am so damn tired of hearing about that.  Yeah, now that Reylo is canon, that comic’s authors are trying to do damage control by saying that no, Sidious isn’t Anakin’s father and Rey and Ben are not second cousins, but they’re still being mysterious about it and “oh well it COULD be this--” so now there’s just more fans who are digging into that theory just because they don’t like Reylo and I don’t really care for the ship either but I really HATE the entire “Born of the Dark” concept for reasons I can explain more separately, so I’m pissy at that particular comic for spawning it.  I know it’s petty but I do.

EU-wise, well, this is gonna be unpopular too, cuz I haven’t read most of the EU stuff, and from what I’ve heard of it, there doesn’t seem to be much that I WOULD like.  The movie novelizations all seem good, but everything else???  “Obi Wan prequels but guess what, he had a shitty childhood too!” uh, no thanks, the rest of his life sucks enough, I want to see him happy.  “Mandalorian worldbuilding, but they’re all a bunch of stoic, overpowered badasses who are Good At Everything And Better Than Literally Everyone and the plot bashes the Jedi left right and center!” ehhhhhhhh pass.  “What happened after Return of the Jedi, except the Skywalkers still don’t get a happy ending because the galaxy goes to war again, Han and Leia’s son turns evil, Luke Suffers, and Palpatine comes back again!” nah, that sounds too depressing-- oh wAIT :) :) :)(at least the EU actually lets Han and Leia grow old and happy together okay okay that’s enough sequel salt for one day)

19. Outfit

FAVE:  Everything Padmé Amidala wears in the movies.  No I will not narrow it down.  I am in love with her whole wardrobe and I want it. 

 I also love the standard Jedi tunics and tabards and cloak (c’mon, the cloak completes the picture!)  It’s just such a signature and unique look that’s supposed to combine medieval European knight tunics and samurai warrior clothing and just the #aesthetic is oof, just wonderful.

Also Sabine Wren’s armor and its various paint jobs.  It’s just so uniquely her and bright and beautiful and badass in all its stages and yes good I like it.

Also Lando Calrissian’s cloaks!  Swooshy and colorful and good!  I love cloaks!  

LEAST FAVE:  Gonna go with my petty, silly ones first, and those are all of Padmé Amidala’s outfits that are only seen in the The Clone Wars TV show (so not the ones that were based off of movie costumes).  Eh, actually three of them were nice, her orange outfit she visits Mina in, her white casual housedress, and her black slinky Clovis dress.  All of her other series-only outfits made me highkey pissy because they were either A.) Wrong for the situation she was in, B.) Defied the laws of physics and should not have held the shape they did/stayed on her body, or C.) just plain UGLY (the highest crime of all), and for the animators to have the audACITY to put any of those things in the mere vicinity of the most stylish woman in the galaxy is an insult to Padmé, an insult to ME, and an insult to Star Wars as a whole (yes, I am mostly joking, but come on!).  No, I will not give the designers the excuse of clothing being difficult and expensive and time consuming to animate because I have SEEN the fancy, PRETTY outfits of the other ladies of Padmé’s status on the show.  Everything Satine Kryze wore was intricately beautiful as all hell and I loved it.  Riyo Chuchi’s two outfits were lovely and fashionable.  Heck, I’m pretty sure I liked Mina Bonteri’s outfit too.  There were tons of people on that show with stylish clothing!  How hard would it have been for the animators to remember Padmé doesn’t wear exposed midriffs on official government business?  That dresses with no sides or back cannot be sleeveless or they will not stay up?  Not give her hairstyles that looked like either a goddam tuning fork or like Jimmy Neutron’s mother?  That beige jumpsuits are BORING and adding a mauve vest is NOT enough to make it exciting!!!! xD xD xD 

Aight, now in more seriousness, I also hated both of Ahsoka’s outfits in the original TCW show.  Enough people have spoken on why sending a fourteen year old into an active warzone in a tube top and miniskirt is a BAD IDEA, but like it just makes me extra mad when you remember her older and more experienced at Not Getting Pulverized Masters were both in full concealing robes and chest and shoulder and shin armor, so you can’t even pass it off as Jedi not getting hurt as easily.  Her updated outfit was only slightly an improvement because her Masters STILL got at least fully covering robes and arm bracers, while Ahsoka still had her entire back exposed, leg holes exposing valuable arteries and stuff, and a goddam boob window that basically signals “shoot me here”.  Look, I know the animators goofed, and I know how they have learned from it because from Rebels on, they never show her as improperly covered for battle, in the new TCW season both outfits are cute and practical too, but seeing her running around in her red outfits actively impeded and took me out of my watching experience because I was cringing over her having a lack of protection, that it made her that much more vulnerable to injury.

Finally just gotta give a standard raised finger to the Slave Leia Bikini.  Carrie Fisher hated it so I do too.

[tellcardtowrite]

stages of writing

1. Beginner

everything is scary

what is character?

development how?

exposition is scary 

i’ve read every writing advice thing i can find

how is this story only 2 thousand words?  i worked on it for five days.  it feels like a novel!  

honestly what else can you put into a story?  I’VE DONE EVERYTHING I CAN. 

please help, please tell me if anything is right

ok, if its wrong, that’s ok. we all need constructive criticism to grow.  i’ll just be crying over here, over my keyboard, but it’s ok.  thank you for your honesty.  it’s fine

2. GOD MODE

i created it and i’m going to make it fucking suffer

“moderation” for fucking losers

i made this name up by taking the first letter of every ingredient listed on the cereal i was eating when i created the character.  meet: Csobpsrynzyytrboft.  For short we call her Bunny.

why are all my characters fucking beautiful?  because i like to start with a perfect canvas before i fuck them up

Bunny is the single most powerful thing ever created ever.  she can literally control time and move mountains and heal and--

everyone is fucking everyone else

and nobody is happy

fuck you, the human condition is agony

its not real writing if you leave it feeling good about yourself

comedy is the lowest form of art

I JUST WANT TO MAKE EVERYONE CRY

i took away Bunny’s powers to teach her a fucking lesson.

meet Mott, that’s a brand name of the applesauce I was buying when I thought him up.

Mott is here to fuck you up.  Mott is older than time.  Mott is all powerful.  Mott is so powerful he makes Bunny look like a toddler.  Mott is no hero, he’s uncontrollable chaos

but Mott has a soft side too, he’s really just a gentle, misunderstood abusive ex-boyfriend who only wants everyone in the world to do exactly what he wants

oh and Mott is hilarous

setting?  fuck it

dialogue: NON STOP WIT.  ONE LINERS.  EVERYONE IS TALKING, NOBODY IS SAYING ANYTHING

“Write what you know” bitch I think not.  

“all the stories in the world have already been written” motherfucker, you’ve never read mine!

Grammar?  that’s for bitches that care.  Watch me split a fucking infinitive into splinters.  I’m here to burn this industry down.

oh ho ho you thought Mott was badass, well meet T’pmg.  It’s named after some mail on my desk and it makes Mott look like a elderly man doing a puzzle.  T’Pmg is going to literally kill everyone.  Or marry Bunny

L O V E T R I A N G L E S 

and you can take your unhelpful, jealous constructive criticism and shove it right up your ass because I’m 704% better than any published author in the history of authors.

also how about you learn how to read, reviewers?  how about you take a look again and realize that LITERALLY NOTHING has ever been this level of perfection.  lol readers are all stupid.  you have to like, literally tell them how to think.  lol.

3. Experimental

rational thought begins to return; but is immediately dismissed again

exposition really is the bane of all writers so how about instead of me telling you anything about what’s happening I’ll just go ahead and drop you literally in the middle of a war zone and you’ll just have to figure it out.  never mind even people in the middle of high stress environments think about why they are there and how to get out, this character thinks non-stop about flowers and his Mom.  good luck figuring out what the fuck this story is about

i wrote six of these scenes five years ago and the other 12 last night.  sure they don’t match in tone or story or make sense together but this is ART.

i wrote this entire novel in rhyming couplets

everyone is special, unique and useful

i have rediscovered that sometimes there is sunshine, and also that physical comedy is hard to translate into writing so instead i just decided to give my main character a pet that is actually an Octopus that ate 3/4ths of a vacuum before it got stuck.  the octopus is alive and the vacuum functions despite how this is Impossible(tm) so fuck you

Meet my protagonist his name is Pork and he is Quirky, not for any particular reason, but because I wanted him to be.  Basically he’s well-liked, rich, skilled, handsome, and destined to save mankind if he can just manage to walk in a straight line without falling over some plot hole or another.

spoiler alert: he can’t~

it was two hours after midnight i wrote this by candlelight its called stream of consciousness and flowers are beautiful i never got any flowers when i was dating but you know i really did like sending them and thats whats wrong with the world today punctuation would have been good right here but fuck periods and question marks because really punctuation is actually hold back all authors imagine what we could do if we were allowed to simply write and write and write and you know what i never did learn a single damn thing from a writing advice book because they are all aimed at getting everyone to fall into the status quo and i am FINALLY FREE

if you were ever going to write tentacle porn, this is that time.  go ahead, write your weird, physically improbable porn and enjoy it.

I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED TO KNOW THAT YOU WERE THIS HOT FOR TENTACLES, RANDOM READER, BUT LETS TALK ABOUT YOUR KINK FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES A DAY BECAUSE WE CAN.

4. the rut

what is the point?

this is stupid

i don’t need this in my life

i’ll just day dream about my favorite characters and that’s all i need

words on paper?  that’s so bleh

blech

yuck

and exposition?  still sucks.  so i’ll be over here building an overly complicated, but beautiful detailed world in which to place my precious characters and they’ll be safe there.

nobody leaves reviews on my stuff so why do i bother

5. The Professional

actually, Timothy, if you don’t follow the 9,872,203,293 rules of writing outlined in this comprehensive About Writing Advice Manual that I found in the back of the library than you can’t consider yourself an Author.

that’s what I am, an Author.

a writer is what you call someone how is just doing it for fun.  I’m not doing this for fun, Timothy, I’m here to get Published.  I’m here to get on the New York Times bestseller list.  i’m here to polarize the writing industry with my hard-hitting, insightful novel about the perils of life in these modern times

so, TIM-BO, if you don’t want to follow the rules, if you don’t want to appreciate the work that goes into being an A U T H O R, if you aren’t willing to literally sell your soul to the DEVIL then you shouldn’t be in this writing group.

this writing group is for AUTHORS, TIMBO

and fanfiction?  not writing

children’s books?  not writing

YA Novels?  not writing?

i would literally wipe my ass with all of those.  because they’re shit.

lol, why can’t readers understand anything?  lol.  LEAVE ME NOTES.  

6.  Parent of Six 

yeah I had a story I think

look under the couch?  no not that couch, the other one.  

i mean you can’t escape exposition.  imagine the first day of school, now imagine it without all the teachers passing out a syllabus and telling you about themselves and how you have to turn your homework in on time.  you can’t.  imagine getting hired to a job but nobody tells you where to clock in or what to do so you’re just wearing the smock and wandering the aisles trying to look like you should get paid maybe.

the trick to writing is waiting as long as possible to get started.  that’s the secret.  there’s no other secret.  I tried everything, just put it off until you can’t put it off another minute

yeah this is Bunny.  she used to be a super powerful magical girl but now she’s just trying to figure out how to make potions and doing her best.

i used to write tentacle porn, you know?  i used to be wild.

now i’m up at 2 am googling what time period used cauldrons and wore pointed hats because my alternate-earth story needs to make sense 

i was going to give Bunny a love interest but now I think i’m going to give her a love adversary, as in this asshole won’t leave her alone while she’s trying to get shit done.

seriously Mott.  Bunny doesn’t love you.  she’s in a semi-committed relationship with her best girl friend Tippy.

I should probably make these names make more sense.  honestly fuck it

i wrote six thousand words yesterday but i had taken cold medicine so about four thousand of those words aren’t any recognizable language

thank you for reading.  i’d happily explain my every exact thought on writing if you asked.  seriously.