#she is literally the saddest girl in the whole entire world am i supposed to NOT be sad about her

[luthiery]

just teared up a bit thinking about kiriona. im doing great 👍

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

Here we are at the end of October, in the Year of Our Troubles, 2020. And here I am, continuing my journey to avoid reality by looking for meaning in nostalgia and TV Hunks. It’s Supernatural!

Alright so we’ve made it to my (possibly/probably) all time favorite quartet of the entire series - Disc 3, Season 1, episodes 9 - 12. For the last few discs, I’ve been keeping things pretty technical in terms of television production and broadcast. But frankly, this sh*t is my jam. All that gooey emotion, all that sweet sweet lore, throw in some man tears and *chef kissy fingers* c'est magnifique! 

Now I’ll backtrack for a hot second here to talk about the filler vs. self-contained argument that I...probably jumbled in my last post. In shows like this, I tend to use “filler” to describe every episode that isn’t arc, but honestly, that’s not fair to a number of Supernatural episodes. The main difference being, is this episode meant to pad out your season or is it simply an episode that can stand on its own two feet? I’d say that’s the case for this entire disc.

First up, it’s Home. Guys, I think I cheered when I turned this episode on. We take our Winchesters, give them some small victories, build up their confidence, and then totally break them down again by sending them back to the beginning. This is not listed as the “official” return to the arc episodes, but I’d argue that Home is where we see a return to the Main Quest. Oh yeah, and Sam finally admits that he can see...what? What do we call these? Death Omens? I think Sam calls them premonitions? Either way, it’s…*shrugs* sure, do what you want. The premonitions do become important later and they’re basically the catalyst for the whole second season and that resolution takes us into the main conflict for the third season, and so on and so on, it’s a whole thing. It just seems like a hecking lot this go around, ok? But he finally admits it to Dean and that’s probably some kind of growth. Dean going back into that house again is also some kind of growth. Of course, he was like, 4 when he swore he’d never go back to that house again? Whatever, I didn’t care. I get too distracted by the fact that DEAN IS CRYING GUYS! LOOK! HE’S CRYING!!

Oh, and one more tie to the season arc - Hecking John Winchester shows up. I mean, he’s all over the episode and I think the most shocking thing we find out about him is that he was, at one point, a business owner?? But also it ends with conclusive proof that John Winchester is a massive dick who refuses to talk to his children. And I’m sorry, I don’t buy your “have to finish it first” excuse, I just don’t. To be clear, I’m not mad at the storytelling choice to do that, I’m mad at the character, which I guess is where it should be. 

I like that this episode builds out more of the world that the Winchesters live in with Missouri Mosely (Not the State!). I like that we see they’re not alone in this very literal fight against evil. She checks back in later in the series and honestly, I love Loretta Devine so I would have watched a whole spinoff show about this character. 

Two things I don’t like about this episode? #1 What genius decided that Mary’s ghost would just be on fire for 20 years? Like, cuz that’s what I am understanding about this ghost. That she is just constantly on fire. And that’s...unkind. 

Mary, who did this to you??

#2 Only a man could have written this episode because no single mom is just gonna LET two rando dudes into her home. 

Listen boys, you’re cute, but I’m a woman with two small children. Hell no you’re not coming into my house. 

Next up is Asylum and this is so good at walking the line between creepy and Spooky. UNlike the Bloody Mary episode, I do not need to hide my face from the screen at any point during this episode. 

Hey look, it’s like they’re brothers or something!

This one is another episode that does a good job building character and the world the Winchesters live in. Like any good procedural, it uses the main conflict to bring out the more important conflict. In this case, it literally brings it out, cuz the ghost is a psychiatrist who makes Same confront all his Daddy Issues. And by confront we mean, take it out on his brother who is the saddest-motherf*cker-I’ve-ever-seen BUT HEY! Salting and burning a body finally works for once in their lives! I love all the cringing that Jensen Ackles does in that scene because they clearly hadn’t figured out what that effect was supposed to look like yet. 

It must have been a real surprise to find out the ghost didn’t light on fire.

Oh and then there’s the phone call! And man, this must have been a bitch of a mid-season finale, cuz this episode aired in November of 2005 and the next episode doesn’t come back until January of 2006 and so you’re just WAITING to hear what John has to say. 

Now wait for two months to find out what he says. 

And of course, it’s nothing. We come back in January to Scarecrow and John has nothing to say cuz he’s a massive dick. Just calling 6 months in to your nationwide search for me to let you know that I’m not dead, but also, I’m only here to send you on another assignment and cause tension. And so the show continues to break down our dynamic duo because the fight they have over whether they should listen to dad or not literally splits them apart. They also introduce Meg as a new and more involved villain for the series. I mean, sort of. We don’t see her again for like, another five episodes. And then again another five episodes after that. So like, I don’t really...know that introducing her as an antagonist...really had the effect they were hoping for?

Is she evil cuz she’s a demon or just because she’s blonde???

Here’s some issues I have with Meg, the first recurring female character who isn’t dead - she’s the first recurring female character who isn’t dead and also, I immediately hated her. I remember watching the episode the first time and as soon as I saw her I was like, oh she’s a ruiner. It was almost a relief to find out she was a bad guy at the end because it was like I was allowed to hate her? To be fair to me, Meg comes on hella strong trying to keep Sam from going back to his brother, so we’re not supposed to like her, but looking back on it now I feel like the perpetrator of some real girl-on-girl crime. Does Meg actually do anything wrong? Aside from leaning real hard on some indie-style manic-pixie bohemian free spirit nonsense, she doesn’t do...anything that should make me hate her? Until, of course, she actively acts as a wedge between our dream team, but before then, I don’t...think she does? Honestly, it could just be me, but I do think that TV has gotten much better at writing/directing/presenting female characters in a way that doesn’t feel like they’re literally shoe-horning in a third wheel. And again, ultimately we are supposed to hate her, I just can’t decide if I was picking up on signals that were intentional or not. I remember having similar feelings when they introduced Joe in season 2, but that’s still far ahead.

I am willing to admit that this might be just me. I will not take back the things I’ve said about Emma Watson though, those are justified. 

And I think introducing more characters is important. It acts the same way introducing Missouri did -it broadens the world. For half a season, our only constants are the brothers. They’re these lone cowboys in a weird, mystical, dangerous wasteland and the villains are more obstacles than actual villains. When the story you’re telling needs to feel bigger than that, you need to do some world building and sometimes that starts with adding more characters. I will say, I hated Meg less this watch than I did on the first one. Or rather, I hated her cuz I knew she was The Worst, not because I felt like adding her to the show was a threat to the storytelling. 

OH! ALSO! The first mention of Dean and Pie! My heart grew three sizes that day! 

The hecking diner won’t serve him so he never finds out!!!

And finally, to cap it all off, we have Faith which is...a surprisingly rough episode? Ok, listen, Dean just resignedly accepting his own demise is like, ugh. UGH. ugh. Buddy. Buddy you are NOT Ok. Like, Dean is so intent on keeping everyone else in his family alive but does not seem as concerned about his own health and well-being and that...just...ughghghghg...I have a lot of feelings about that. 

Listen, some day I will talk about Sam, but it is NOT THIS DAY.

Like, I get that Rev. Jerry Gergich Roy Le Grange is not actually healing people, but he literally tells Dean that Dean has a purpose and he was saved from an untimely death for a reason, and he’s kind of not wrong? But then he spends the rest of the episode stopping Roy from healing anyone else and feeling overwhelmingly guilty that he was saved over someone else. I think out of everything that season 1 has presented up to this episode, this is the most philosophical and thematically complex. There’s the question of faith vs skepticism - can we ever just blindly believe in a good turn? The fact that Dean can’t says a lot about him as a human. Then there’s the question of who gets to decide who lives and who dies? Who’s worthy of salvation and who isn’t? Why do bad things happen to good people and why do good things happen to Dean? I mean, when Dean sees the Reaper coming for him at the end, he knows that it’s in exchange for Layla’s life and he’s just...Ok with that? He doesn’t try to run or fight it, and it’s only because of Sam that he doesn’t bite it. And the end of this episode is just a real bitch slap to the feels because Layla, our Very Special Extra, knows she’s going to die and she knows she missed out on her chance to be healed because Dean was an Ass with a capital A and took her turn (probably). And she’s also just ok with that and it kills me a little bit on the inside. 

Also, Layla is played by Julie Benze from Roswell and Buffy and Dexter and she’s always A+. And Roy was in Snakes on a Plane!

So yeah, not exactly “filler” in the true sense, but ties to the season arc are not as strong as in other episodes. And watching these episodes again I realize just how important they are to the series as a whole. I mentioned Helstrom last week and since then, I’ve finished the season. It’s only 10 episodes, and while I definitely enjoyed it, none of the emotional climaxes felt earned. 

Is how I feel. About the Emotions in Helstrom. That doesn’t mean I won’t watch a season 2. 

When you focus solely on the main arc in every single episode, you miss these little moments to develop character and relationships. When you get to the end of the season where the Winchesters are finally all in the same room taking on the Big Bad, there’s this feeling of satisfaction - you’ve been waiting for this moment. You’ve been waiting for Sam to reconcile with his father. You’ve been waiting for the guys to finally take on this thing that killed Mary Winchester. You’ve been waiting to see what will happen when the quest is over. That’s what makes the character decisions in the finale feel so big and so important, because they’ve been built up and built up for 22 episodes - 7 months in broadcast time. I think it’s harder to have the sort of weight that Supernatural builds in a show that stays so focused on the arc because its season is only 8 - 10 eps. There’s no room for sidetracking to build on the relationships in the show. You don’t have time for it, so you either have to keep character moments smaller (I’d argue MUCH smaller) or you end up with a finale that doesn’t resonate with the same gravitas as you want it to. 

Don’t get me wrong - I know it sounds like I’m ragging on short seasons, but I think a short season can be very effective when it’s done right. I also think a full season of 22 - 24 episodes can be very effective when it’s done right. But I think there’s a fundamental difference in how you tell the story when you have a short vs. a long season. I think TV is still figuring that out as it goes, as writers who are accustomed to long seasons shift gears to tell their stories with fewer installments. But I hope that TV doesn’t completely do away with the more procedural-style/self-contained episodes since those can be a powerful way to connect with your characters. That’s why I’m here in the first place. 

[ice-connoisseur]

ten faves

Rules: name ten favorite characters from ten different things (tv, movies, books, etc.)

This came from @thegirlwholied nearly...3 weeks...ago now, but I am slow, and indecisive, and time basically has no meaning at the moment anyway, so. 

1.       Sally Lockhart (the Sally Lockhart quartet)

First name I wrote down.  I met Sally in my early teens and I’ve never quite given up on wanting to grow up to be her. I love each and every member of Garland and Lockhart a ridiculous amount (and my love of the found family trope can probably be traced back to their door), but Sally, with her grit and her stubbornness and her fierce indepenance, captured me in something special from that moment in the first paragraph of the first book when all I knew was her name and that she was about to kill a man. 

2.       Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice)

I considered shying away from the stereotypical here, but that would just be lying to myself as well as anyone else.  I relate more to Jane, or Charlotte Lucas, or even Mr Darcy – at least in terms of social awkwardness, not finances, sadly – but, like him, I can’t remember the first time I fell in love with Lizzy Bennet, I was in the middle of it before I even knew I had begun. 

(Jennifer Ehle probably had something to do with it though.)

3.       Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)

Look, I was an introverted, bookish, rule-abiding adolescent, and Hermione was suddenly someone I could recognise myself in.  I wanted to be Ginny (and Sally, and Lizzy, and several others on this list); I already was Hermione, in a lot of ways, and she made that a bit more ok.

4.      Carrot Ironfoundersson (Discworld)

I wanted to put a Discworld character in here, and I’m a little bit sad at myself for not picking a woman – especially since this is inadvertently turning out to be a very female-heavy list.  I even started the process of trying to choose between Sybil Ramkin, Tiffany Aching, Adora Belle Dearheart, and Angua, to name but a few.

But the thing is, I made the fatel error of first trying to read the Discworld in publication order, and it took me years to venture any further than the first 50 pages of Colour of Magic.  Even in later books the Wizards just.  Aren’t my thing.

And then, at some point – and I’m a bit hazy on the when, to be honest – I picked up Guards Guards and spent the entire book blinking at Carrot, reading and re-reading; I kept wanting to turn to someone else and nudge and point, because is this guy for real?! And then, again, a page later, for completely different reasons and in completely different tones, is this guy for real AGAIN?!  Terry Pratchett’s books are richly populated with wonderfully rounded, flawed, individual characters, and at first glance Carrot is comparatively straightforward. I hope I never lose that quiet moment of glee I feel at realising that, of course, he really, really isn’t. 

5.       Titty Walker (Swallows and Amazons)

Consider Titty a bit of a catch-all for the tomboy girls who filled my childhood reading – George Kirrin, Maia Fielding, Kit Russell and the rest – but she’s the one I thought of first.   I was not an adventurous child - I am not an adventurous adult, for that matter – but these were the books that meant I could be.  I think Titty’s adventures always felt the most tangible, somehow, and the image of her tacking up the field home to read her father’s telegram cemented something in me at an impressionable age that I don’t think I’ve ever quite shaken off.

6.       Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation)

Again, I love each and every character on this show, but Leslie Knope; annoying, overbearing, forthright Leslie Knope, who cares so damn much about everything that she makes everyone else care more too, who never once considers being anyone other than who she is, who makes mistakes and faces up to fixing them, who will always, always use a favour to help other people…Leslie Knope, folks.  I love her and I like her. 

7.       Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

It’s a pretty close call between Rose and Donna Noble, to be honest, but Rose got there first.   Unapologetically, unashamedly working class Rose, from the council estate, with no A-levels and no prospects and no expectations that anyone will ever give a damn about her, who saves the world in so many different ways, who grows up and laughs and loves and changes but never in the fundamentals of who she is – brilliant, compassionate, brave.   Her life is fantastic because she marches through it punching literal holes in the universe to make it so. 

8.       Lyra Silvertongue (His Dark Materials)

Lyra, who loved her world of Oxford rooftops, and ran from it.  Lyra who loved Roger, and killed him.  Lyra who loved Pan, and left him.  Lyra who loved Will, and lost him.  Lyra who lies.  Lyra who left home and came back different, and that was only just the start of her growing up. I’ve been reading Lyra for 20 years and I read her a little bit different every time, but I never love her any less.

9.       Phil Coulson (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

I’m probably stretching things a bit here, because when I say I love Phil Coulson, I’m referring to Phil Coulson of the MCU up to and including 2012, and the subsequent fanon interpretations of him.  I tried Agents of Shield early on and it didn’t stick.  But I saw Avengers Assemble in the cinema with no prior Marvel knowledge (comic or film) and spent the next three days watching the rest of Phase One (hilariously, at the time, five films felt like a lot).  I was in my very early days on Tumblr when #Coulsonlives was a thing, and I still remember the absolute explosion of joy that was.  Every now and again (like right now, actually) I go through a phase of re-reading an unhealthy volume of Clint/Coulson fic – and I do love Clint, and I love Gamora, I love Sam Wilson and Natasha Romanoff and Pepper Potts - and it’s dry, snarky, utterly unflappable who Coulson hooks me every time. 

10.       Georgiana Lestrade (The Least of All Possible Mistakes)

Look, I have a lot of feelings about every person on this list and quite a few who aren’t, but if I had to pick the one who felt the most…real, I suppose…then Georgiana Lestrade is my easy answer.  She’s the person I would always want fighting my corner.  George has no false ideals, no delusions about either herself or her world; she is completely grounded in herself and her London – which is almost a character in its own right, one of my very favourite things about Pru’s writing.

Competent, practical, fiercely unphased George, who carries a taser and throws stationary at her underlings; who is gloriously, unashamedly pragmatic; nearing forty and glad of it; as honest and self-aware of her own nature as I think a person can be; and above all else who is damn good at her job.  She might give one hoot about what other people think of her, but she’s certainly not going to waste a second.  That she is surrounded by wild, dangerously intelligent men is almost incidental, but she is, and that is a part of her story – though far from the whole of it - and she takes no more shit from them, never doubts her own right or ability to stand beside them, than she does any other person. 

One of the saddest truths of my fandom life is that Pru will never finish the Regency spy AU of this AU, and I mourn this far more often than is healthy XD

***

This was fun and hard in equal measure, and there are so many more I could have listed - Jack Robinson, Violet Baudelaire, Brienne of Tarth, Leia Organa, Theo Hart, to name but a few - but I’m as happy with it as I’ll ever be.

Tagging @firesign23, @kiraziwrites, @angel-deux-writes and @ajoblotofjunk, and also anyone else who wants to give this a go, because I would love to read more of them. 

[skywalkersapprentice]

mdzs novel review

Now that we’re in quarantine and I have an infinite amount of time on my hands, why not read a novel that’s 500k, right?

(Spoilers ahead.)

I totally fucked up my sleeping schedule by staying up for three nights in a row and sleeping four hours in the afternoon while reading it. worth it, though. Despite a few flaws that tripped me up close to the end, Mo Dao Zu Shi (The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) was a gorgeous story. Kudos to the translators for giving it to us in English.

I’ll start off by saying that this story is not for the faint of heart. The main character has very grey morals. There is self-cannibalism, gore, period-typical homophobia, corpses come to life, mentions of rape, incest, sexual content, straight up dubcon and disturbing themes all the way through. If I’d seen this tagged as such on Ao3, I definitely would have left it alone. Despite all this, there’s also some truly wonderful characters, a plot unlike anything I’ve ever read before, subtle pining, fantastic worldbuilding, magical music, found families, and!! canonly lgbt characters that get to experience all of this things in the one hundred goddamn chapters it takes for them to get together.

The Good:

Wei Wuxian. One of the most interesting characters I’ve ever encountered. How can one be so good, so happy, so giving, yet so incredibly fucking annoying? He’s so clever, but also a moron. He’s selfless, but only in regards to things and people he cares about. He has an absolutely terrible memory (god me too) and knows how to get under everyone’s skin and has killed literal thousands of people and also. He is my son. If I knew him in real life I think he wouldn’t have survived long enough to become the Yiling Patriarch but in fiction he is wonderful.

The plot: Look. This novel is longer than the first four Harry Potter books combined. You can almost think of it as two books- one set in the past, one set sixteen years later. But although it’s the longest book I’ve ever read, it never really felt boring. It was definitely confusing at times (I’ve never had to take notes on a novel before to keep everything straight in my head) but I wasn’t bored. Things just keep happening- Wei Wuxian is back from the dead!! Now there’s a creepy hand!! Now there’s a statue that can move!! Now we’re in the past!! Now we’re back in the present and there’s a castle that eats people!! Now we’re in a ghost city and there’s some freaky stuff going down!! Time for the saddest flashback of all time, and now we’re starting to put the puzzle of this dismembered person together!! All of this is interspersed with worldbuilding and character dynamics and creating a full picture of the past and- whew. It was so hard to tear myself away to sleep or eat because I just wanted to know- what’s going to happen next? 

The love story: Hello, slowest of burns in the entire fucking world. I live for the enemies-to-friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-what-are-we-to-lovers love story that this book gave me. Lan Wangji, you poor emotionally repressed disaster gay. Wei Wuxian, you blind oblivious moronic disaster bi. Somehow, they’re perfect for each other. I was really, really hesitant to read this book because I know it has roots in that specific straight-girl-writes-gay-men type of culture that is often terrible and fetishistic. There were definitely things that I disagreed with that that I’ll talk about later, but largely, stereotypes were avoided and I have to give the author credit for this relationship that managed to be so many things. I relate heavily to the type of person Lan Wangji is, and I adored watching him fall for Wei Wuxian, through Wei Wuxian’s eyes, without either of them really even realizing it. They’re the definition of what I like to call a “Red and Blue couple”- the opposites, the fire and ice, the calm and the wild, the dark and the light, the red and the blue, who complement one another so well despite being so different. They balanced each other out wonderfully. Don’t talk to me about the WangXian song or the fact that they have a child or I will start crying.

Lan Wangji: Though I love Wei Wuxian, annoying traits and all, Lan Wangji is who I heavily resonated with. He kind of reminds me of Else from Frozen?? Anyone else?? Like, his whole thing is basically “conceal don’t feel”, except what he’s concealing is the fact that he feels things so deeply. He just wants to help people, to be essentially perfect at what he does (scooby doo villian voice: and he would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for wei wuxian) His character development from the past to present was lovely. I silently cheered for him whenever he broke the rules, or let the strict facade down for a bit. 

The side characters: Literally how are there so many characters in this book who are so fleshed out that they feel like real people? Xiao XingChen, Lan SiZhui, Wen Ning, Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng and Jiang LanYi all especially stood out to me, but even beyond them, everyone had a fully explained reason and motivation for like, everything they did. Even if I hated the villains, they weren’t needlessly evil. We love a grey story.

But there were some things I didn’t like.

The Bad

The R rated stuff: Well. This is probably the weirdest critique I’ve ever had to make about a book, and maybe some of it was partly due to translation, but... the sex was out of character. I thought the general dynamic made no sense for the two of them as people and it just.... wasn’t super well written? Thankfully I was warned beforehand that the Incense Burner chapters contained content I wasn’t prepared to read, but yikes, I felt like I was reading about two different characters the second clothes started coming off. I haven’t finished the bonus chapters for this reason. The second I read the word “rape”, I had to stop. Consent is a pretty hard line for me, and I can’t do a dubcon kink. Obviously the author can do whatever the hell she wants with her characters, but I felt like she threw away their personalities for the sake of trying to write something hot (which- it wasn’t.) This is why straight people have no rights and also why I will be pretending those scenes don’t exist. 

The Hatred Chapters: I do feel like all of the tension and action was sort of- let down at what was supposed to be the climactic showdown in the temple. It dragged on for so many chapters that I didn’t feel on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would happen next.That could also be due to translation. I’m not sure. Maybe I need to read the Hatred chapters again. But I did feel sort of let down in the final 20 chapters of this novel. It wasn’t enough to seriously impact how much I love the general concept, but it was disappointing.

Semi related but after 100 chapter build up, that confession could have been better. Again- maybe a translation thing.

The Nie MingJue backstory flashback: just- honestly wasn’t interesting to me. It was the only part of the novel that I really had to slog through. 

Lastly - this isn’t the novel’s fault, and I am certainly grateful to the translators for all of their work translating this gigantic novel, but there were some consistent grammatical issues surrounding the dialogue tags that bugged me. I’m not sure how it is in Chinese, but in English, writing “Wei WuXian, “Nothing.””  just- isn’t correct. At the very least, you need a verb like “said”. I usually read fast enough that my brain tends to insert the word even if it’s not there, but when reading slowly, this did frequently jar me out of the story. I’d be willing to edit the entire novel just to fix these errors. But it says a lot about how good this novel is that I continued reading despite errors like this because something like that in a fic would have me closing the tab immediately.

Alright, that’s all. 

Overall:

There are so many small things, little moments and lines that I loved about this story, it would take me days to list them all. The dialogue patterns from character to character were distinct. Things like the forehead ribbon were endlessly entertaining. Side plots like the A-Qing one had me in tears and I was laughing a few chapters late from drunk LWJ. The novel was just fun to read. There were errors, yes, there were disappointments, sure. But it made me feel so much. I’ve been through the entire range of human emotion while reading it, and it’s so rare to find a book that just yanks you into the universe like this one did to me. I really needed an escape this week, and this was absolutely a welcome one. If I go read it again, I’m sure I’ll find a hundred more things I like about it. Heed the warnings I’ve given, if you read it, but I absolutely adored most of this book and I’ll be thinking about it for a long time.

9/10.

[ratherashleigh]

supergirl 418 stuff in a list

for an episode filled with so much cringe-inducing schlock, i sure did have a good time!

What to Do with Kara Danvers?

it’s only taken four seasons but finally FINALLY supergirl using kara to hide in plain sight. the larger arc there is really working for me; kara has this whole identity at her disposal that she never gets to use because for some fucking reason every damn person knows who she is. (seriously, kara and lillian should have been a whole thing, kara and colville? KARA AND MAGGIE. honestly.) but the entire premise of superman and supergirl is that they hide in plain sight! clark at least is one of the people, and for all kara’s differences and difficulties, she’s been back with kryptonians now and she chose to come back. last season we had an entire run of how supergirl wasn’t all that kara was good for, and this glimpse of how useful kara as a construct is to kara’s capacity to do her job as supergirl couldn’t be coming at a better moment in the build up to it being ripped away from her relationship with lena. seeing kara trembling on the floor in pain as kara and knowing that that persona was the only thing keeping her safe? 😗👌.

supergirl with steve vs kara with steve was just so much. 

i love willie garson and he was criminally underused here

the way steve held his pal’s hand when they had to lie down!

but watching her encounter people afraid and distrusting over and over again was fucking heartbreaking.

i still appreciate the point they’re making, that people will believe anything if they’re fed the right combination of evidence, but the show hanging a lampshade on how many possible other explanations doesn’t make it any less hilarious that there are four separate canon-based possibilities for alternative supergirls - bizaaro, shapeshifter, hologram, image inducer - and that doesn’t count alternative universe and the actual answer of a clone. the fact that there’s a publicly available device on the market right now in-world that could do this and there isn’t even a debate outside of those who know kara? laughable.

speaking of laughable, why do people continue to think shooting her with regular ol’ guns and bullets is gonna do a damn thing?

Who the Hell is Lex Luthor?

having an unhinged megalomaniac as the puppetmaster in your relatively nuanced story about public discourse and the climate of hate is... actually classic supergirl, so idk why i thought maybe anything better would come of this. i don’t love that his motivation has been shifted away from having any genuine root in his feelings about aliens and they chose to make him an outright psychopath threatened by anyone who might be better than him in any way. that this shift has also come at the cost of any faith that lena wasn’t psychologically abused her entire like is just the icing on the ‘thanks, i hate it?��� cake.

BUT ALSO, LEX IS A FUCKING MUSTACHE TWIRLING NUTBAG

the romanov’s execution date on a note in the chess piece?

lena’s nickname as a child was after anastasia?

the checkmate pattern being a reference to both AND the combination to the chessboard lock?

WHAT IS THIS, AN ESCAPE ROOM???

AND THEN THE DIARIES.

on the one hand, everything about this is the saddest thing ever for lena.

on the other hand, LEX IS A ILLUSTRATIVE JOURNALER, AND NOT A VERY GOOD ONE.

oh my god.

who actually wrote those diaries, and can they never be employed ever again?

HOW DARE THEY INSINUATE LENA WAS A HORSE GIRL.

this was the peak of what boils down to me feeling that on paper in bullet points this episode was probably great but in execution this show is a fucking low budget soap opera with dialogue writers to match.

and then the button to open his secret door was in the Personally Significant Location built into some artwork?

also lex going with leutemann's hannibal crossing the alps and not turner’s? what a loser.

(leutemann is an illustrator and the print they recreated actually has all that really clean line work, so it makes sense. but still.)

I WAS DYING. THEY WENT SO HARD. 

everything about this was terrible but it made me laugh so hard, so i’m not even sure i’m complaining.

A Super and a Luthor Go On a Field Trip

SO YEAH THAT HAPPENED.

I WILL NEVER GET OVER THAT HALLWAY WALK.

OR THE WAY THEY BOTH KEPT BUCKING EACH OTHER UP.

even if lena was being the lost princess of Drama™️, kara was giving her a run for her pennies.

god this was just. a;ksjhdjka. i can’t believe how much effort they’ve finally bothered to put into restoring this relationship, except i absolutely can because it’s all gonna go to shit real soon, weeeeeeeeee!

just a side note, but lena should really invest in making the kryptonite shield at least as strong as the kryptonian it’s supposed to be protecting.

Unrelated to Anything

the next day, lena is in a brand new dress and alex was still in the same shirt, and i keep trying to imagine how the rest of that night played out. did they all have a sleepover at lena’s one bedroom apartment next door, just lena, alex, and their acquaintance supergirl?

i’m glad they alluded to the fact that the day they went to the prison was the next day, too, because otherwise i was going to accuse lena of changing outfits for their field trip

james going to therapy: literally everything i’ve ever wanted from this show?

that conversation with kelly and alex was the worst case of needing to put two people in a room together for Other Reasons i’ve ever encountered.

brainy and nia... also... existed.

i’m sorry. i am. i enjoy them when they’re in front of my face, most of the time, but this show doesn’t actually need comedic interludes, and it’s jarring. it’s so jarring.

“i don’t trust the press. i always parachute into crises like this without any context for the larger systemic issues at play.”

this line was so funny it almost justified how god awful everything about otis is in this episode. why... just, why

what’s with the show making all the sketchy fence sitters queer? the dean at lockwood’s university, now the prison warden? unneccessary.

was genuinely expecting the part when kara finds the SECRET TUNNEL to play out as follows: “lena?!” supergirl calls out into the room (this actually happened). there’s a pause, and supergirl grows concerned. and then. “kara, is that you?” supergirl’s concern intensifies.

[serendipityswift]

first impressions of lover

ok i’m going to write down my first impressions to each of the songs; mostly for my own good and to get some of these feelings out 

i forgot that you existed: bop! girl is over everything that’s happened to her. it truly feels like her moving on from reputation. she’s still singing about what she sang about in rep, but it just feels lighter? she’s no longer hurting, she truly can’t give a shit about people who fucked her over anymore. 

fav lyric: in my feelings more than drake, so yeah 

cruel summer: single material if i’ve ever heard one! i swear to god if this is another getaway car situation omg... i fucking love this song so fucking much. like, it doesn’t sound sad, but once you hear the lyrics, damn it hurts. she still thinks she’s bad news, like her loving someone will only hurt that person... yeah, ouch. i think sometimes we forget how hard it must’ve been for her to get together with joe, to allow herself to open up again, but this song really shows it. definitely teared up knowing, even just half, of the situation she was in. 

fav lyric: i don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you / devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes 

lover: one of my immediate favs on the album. for obvious reasons. my first impression was literally just sobbing lmfao, and being happier for her than i’ve ever really been for myself. 

fav lyric: with every guitar string scar on my hand i take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover 

the man: this was one of the song i was most excited for! and she absolutely did not disappoint. like, honestly, looking at her career and the way the media and people perceive her... just imagine if she was a man. look at how fucking successful she is, and the hate she gets, just imagine if she was a man? and it’s things every woman fears, it’s thoughts we all have. the lyrics are so smart and powerful and so, incredibly, true - even if society refuses to admit it. it’s like blank space, but even more mature and just so, insanely smart. also, her use of ‘bitch’ in this song? absolute genius. 

fav lyric: i’m so sick of running as fast as i can, wondering if i’d get there quicker if i was a man / if i was flashing out my dollars, i’d be a bitch not a baller 

the archer: immediately one of my favourite songs she’s ever put out, and still one of my favourites on this album. i’ve never related to a song so much before tbh, like, it may not seem like her saddest song ever, but when it describes everything you’ve been feeling for the last 4 years... it hurts more than any breakup song. the buildup and structure of this song is incredible, and i can’t stress how important it is to me enough. i want to cry every single time i listen to this song sigh, but i’m so grateful to finally have it into words. 

fav lyric: who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay? / all my heroes die all alone, help me hold onto you / they see right through me, can you see right through me? / all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put me together again / all of my enemies started out friends / cruelty wins in the movies, i’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches i almost said to you 

i think he knows: what a fucking bop omg. the sexual innuendos? yes. combined with the innocence? incredible. a little tongue and cheek, makes me smile and bop along to it. the lust and attraction and just all the cute feelings towards someone that we all know. 

fav lyric: lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh, we can follow the sparks, i’ll drive

miss americana and the heartbreak prince: ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS ON THE ALBUM, ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS OF ALL TIME. i sobbed my eyes out listening to it, sobbing listening to it again. it describes the fear we all felt in 2016, even someone living hours and hours and hours away in nz. the fear we felt for the world and those around us, the anger and fear we still feel every single day. it’s the pain we don’t know how to vocalise, scared we’ll say something wrong and literally get hurt. she’s so brave, this song is so brave. this song is metaphorically, lyrically and sonically incredible. it’s just insane. 

fav lyric: the whole school is rolling fake dice, you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes / i’m feeling helpless, the damsels are depressed. boys will be boys then, where are the wise men?  

paper rings: what. a. fucking. bop. i can’t stop smiling and singing along even though idk the lyrics yet. also, all the references to old songs? and lowkey get fearless vibes but idk if i’m just too tired from it being almost 1am. i adore every single thing about this song. it’s realising you feel more for someone than you thought you did, then realising they’re the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. it’s literally everything. also, the stalking on the internet line? as relatable as any deepcut lyric she’s ever written. 

fav lyric: i like shiny things, but i’ll marry you with paper rings / i’m with you even if it makes me blue

cornelia street: i already knew this was coming, but this is 500% one of my favourite fucking songs of all time. sobbed my eyes out. still crying listening to this again for the second time. the references to other songs, the story of us? god. it describes everything you fucking feel when you just feel so damn much for a person. loving someone so much that a city becomes them, the city that she first arrived in single and represented her freedom. it now is him. when you love someone so fucking much that you know if, just if, they leave you; you’ll be broken forever. and it isn’t like every other time, it’s harder and they hold more of you than you ever thought someone could. it’s running because you’re so scared they’ll leave and you’ll lose everything, then coming back because you trust them enough to think that they’ll stay. but you’re still so fucking scared because they truly have all of you. 

fav lyric: i hope i never lose you, hope it never ends, i’d never work cornelia street again / sacred new beginnings that became my religion, listen 

death by a thousand cuts: i was mesmerised by this song. it’s a ‘happy’ sounding sad song. which i love. the juxtaposition of it all. also the entire second verse is literally one of my favourite things i’ve ever heard so tbh that entire verse is my favourite lyric. also, i kind of want someone to sing this as a sad ballad and see what it’s like ahahha 

fav lyric: my heart, my hips, my body, my love, trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch / our country, guess it was a lawless land / why are my fears at the touch of your hands? / paper cut stains from my paper-thin plans / my time, my wine, my spirit, my trust, trying to find a part of me you didn't take up / gave you so much, but it wasn't enough / i'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts

london boy: ALL THE LONDON AND ENGLISH REFERENCES I CAN’T. as someone that lives in nz, the language she uses is so fucking funny and cute i can’t. also i keep thinking how ed taught her some of these things ahahha. and the nod to p!atd with “don’t threaten me with a good time” is so amazing. her reference to rugby? i’m taking all this luck by taylor and sending it to the all blacks thanks 

fav lyric: doesn't have to be louis v up on bond street just wanna be with you

soon you’ll get better: i already knew what this song was going to be about, but that didn’t stop my heart from literally shattering into a million pieces. andrea is so important to each of us, i cherish the day i met her and held her hand like no other, just imagine what she means to taylor. she was there when taylor had no one, when she felt so alone. andrea is so special, and it is just so fucking unfair that she needs to go through this. i hope, pray, anything that andrea can get better soon, make a full recovery. and i hope her entire family is okay. they’re all so loved, so incredibly loved. but, cancer, i just wish i knew how to beat it and can take all this pain away. i can’t even listen to it a second time right now because i’m too much of a wreck. that’s how much it hurts. i love taylor for sharing this with us. i love that taylor loves us enough to share this with us. 

fav lyric: but who am i supposed to talk to? what am i supposed to do if there is no you? / i’ll paint the kitchen neon, i’ll brighten up the sky, i know i’ll never get it, there’s not a day i don’t try 

false god: this is one of my favourite songs. it’s so perfectly simple. it’s exactly what this album needs. the religious references throughout this album is incredible, and the idea that their love itself is a greater force is so beautiful and incredible. it’s knowing that even though their love isn’t perfect, it’s what they choose. 

fav lyric: and i can't talk to you when you're like this, staring out the window like i’m not your favorite town. i'm new york city. i'd still do it for you, babe / and you can't talk to me when I'm like this, daring you to leave me just so i can try and scare you. you’re the west village. you still do it for me, babe 

you need to calm down: this beat cannot get unstuck from my head once it’s in there. and the music video is one of my favourites of all time, the amount of gay power? legendary. it’s not just about the lgbtq+ community though, it’s about everyone and acceptance and not caring about the shitty views around us, because they’re wrong and they don’t matter. it’s so wonderfully patronising to the ignorant people in the world and i love it. 

fav lyric: you would rather be in the dark ages making that sign, must’ve taken all night 

afterglow: i love this song, and i love how this is at the latter part of the album. it’s fighting knowing they’re the one for you, after knowing they’re your lover and paper rings. it’s taking responsibility for when you fuck up because you can’t stop your mind from spiralling. you can hear the anxiety in the lyrics and the pain knowing you’re hurting someone you love, but you can also hear the surety in the song that they’ll be okay, and that’s so fucking beautiful. 

fav lyric: why’d i have to break what i love so much?

ME!: taylor + panic i’m- they’re two of my favourite artists. this song by itself isn’t my favourite, but in the album, it suddenly all makes sense. this song is actually so catchy and uplifting and makes me smile. and it’s so weird listening to it without the “hey kids! spelling is fun!” ahhaha 

fav lyric: babydoll when it comes to a lover, i promise that you’ll never find another like me 

it’s nice to have a friend: this is so fucking cute i can’t even. i live for the simplicity of this. it’s just everything to me. the instrumental in the middle, the church bell sounds in the back, everything has changed mv vibes. mary’s song vibes. it’s so incredibly unique and special i love it. 

fav lyric: light pink sky up on the roof, sun sinks down, no curfew. 20 questions, we tell the truth

daylight: i’m so fucking proud of her. another song i sobbed my way through. she managed to write 3 years of experiences into less than 5 minutes. the references to red? she knew exactly how that will cut us, and how she once had this idealised, dramatic version of love. when she finally found the real deal, she realised it’s just golden. it’s light and different to anything she could’ve ever even imagined. it reminds me that there’s light at the end of the tunnel, even if i can’t always believe it. even though the darkness felt like 20 years for her, now she only sees daylight. not because things are perfect, but things are better. i can’t imagine a more perfect way for the album to end. 

fav lyric: i’ll tell you the truth but never goodbye / you are what you love / i once believed love would be burning red but it’s golden 

i can’t say whether lover is my favourite album yet, but it’s a special album that’s for sure. every song belongs there, and it tells a story unlike any she’s told before. there’s every spectrum of love on here, and everything just feels so real and personal; because she’s finally found the love she’s been writing about her whole life.  

[fandomsfeelsandfanfics]

Hallow’s Eve/// Harry Potter x Reader

A/N: Another one! Probably the saddest one because we all know what happened on Halloween in 1981. Okay let's just get going. Enjoy! ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////     As you entered the Great Hall you passed Harry who looked like he was storming out. “Hey Harry.” He didn’t respond and bumped into your shoulder like you weren’t even there. You stared at him as he left. You shook the experience off.

   You sat down in front of Ron and Hermione with a huge grin. "Happy Halloween!"

   "Happyhalloween," Ron said to the best of his ability despite the largest amount of food in his mouth. Hermione smiled at you. 

   "Happy Halloween, (Y/N)." 

   "What's with Harry," you asked. Ron coughed slightly and averted his eyes. Hermione’s face fell but she quickly but on a very unauthentic smile. 

   “He wasn’t feeling too well,” Hermione responded. You nodded even though they way they had reacted was slightly suspect. 

    “Alright,” you said slowly. “Anyways, I’m helping Fred and George throw a party tonight in the Gryffindor common room. It’ll be a great time and not too wild. I hope you two can come, Harry as well if he’s feeling up to it.” They smiled at you and nodded. 

    “I’ve got to go but I hope I’ll see you later.” You got up from the table, finally allowing yourself to refocus on the Harry situation. It was certainly weird the way he was acting. It was Harry after all, he wasn’t always the happiest but this was still unusual for him. 

    You were overthinking it, you had to be. You’d see him sometime today and everything would be forgotten.

     “Fred! George! I need these streamers hung can you handle it!”

    “Yeah,” the responded at the same time. Everything was almost ready. Most of the decorations were up and you were finishing setting the snacks out. Music was already playing softly in the background. 

    A few people had arrived already. You spotted Hermione sitting with Ginny on a couch in front of the fire. She waved at you and all you could do was smile back because your hands were so full. Finally, you sat the last drink on the table and made the way across the room to them. 

    “I’m so glad you guys could come,” you exclaimed. 

   “I wasn’t quite sure I was going to but Ginny told me I should so here I am. You seem very excited about this whole thing how long have you had this planned?”

    “Since we got here this school year. I’m ecstatic, I love Halloween. It’s the best holiday in my opinion. I must say though, in my original plan Harry was supposed to be here but I don’t know if that’s gonna happen anymore.” You looked up at his dorm door for just about the thousandth time that night expectantly. Hermione placed her hand on your arm in some attempt at comfort. 

    “I’m sure he’d love to he’s just not...not up for it.” You frowned, breaking your gaze from the dorm. 

    “Yeah, I was just hoping to spend some time with him. Ever since this year started it seems like I just can’t reach him. He could be sitting right in front of me and still seem a thousand miles away. He’s gotten so obsessed with the war and the map and I don't know. He’s a kid too you know and I just wish he could have just a moment of peace maybe. I think he definitely deserves that I mean-” 

   “(Y/N)!” Your eyes darted down to hers. “You’re rambling again.” 

   “Merlin, I’m sorry. I just-” You sentence was cut short when you heard a door open. Your attention completely broke away from the conversation and you looked up. Just as you had expected (or at least hoped) it was Harry’s dorm. Your breath stalled as you waited for someone to step out. 

    At last, Ron stepped out of the room alone. He closed the door behind him carefully. He walked down the steps and by the time he reached the bottom step you were standing there waiting for him. 

    “Hey Ron,” you greeted. “I’m glad you could make it.” 

   “Yeah, it looks really....” He gazed around at the room looking from decoration to decoration. “Really nice.” 

   “Thanks, I really couldn’t have done it without your brothers. So is Harry not coming?” 

    “Er, no but he would really want you to have a good time regardless of that. Come on let’s dance.” Ron awkwardly draped his arm around you and led you to the middle of the common room. 

     Dancing with Ron hadn’t lasted very long at all. He kept trying to make conversation and you felt awful for it but you weren’t interested in the slightest. You kept staring at the dorm doors until you realized you probably looked crazy. 

    You told him you were getting a drink and snuck off somewhere long enough for him to forget. You got a real drink before sitting back down on a couch and sipped at the pumpkin juice in your cup. Hermione was dancing with Ron now and Ginny was dancing with someone else so you could one completely alone. 

    The twins would have probably also tried to get you out of your seat but luckily they each had their complete attention on random girls. It wasn’t until your cup was empty that someone finally sat next to you.

    “Hey,” Hermione said kindly. 

    “Hi.” 

    “Listen, I know you’re upset about Harry but that’s no reason not to enjoy your party. It’s your favourite holiday, just have fun. This isn’t fair to you and it isn’t what Harry would want.” You sat there staring into the crowd. The were all so close together it was as if they were all one big mass. It was easy enough to stare at them and try to think.

    “You know what you’re right.” You saw her smile out of the corner of your eye. “This isn’t fair. Not at all. This is my favourite holiday and it should be spent as well as I can spend it.” 

   “Exactly, come dance with me.” She reached out to grab your arm

   “I want to spend it with Harry.” Her hand stopped just short of yours. “I spent most of this night just wishing and hoping that he would just come down but that’s quite selfish isn’t it.” You turned to look at her. “He has the weight of the entire wizarding world on his shoulders and I expect him to just be fine? I’m such an arse, honestly.” 

    You stood up and Hermione did the same. “I’m going to get him and he’s going to have fun if it’s the last thing I do.” You stormed past her and she tried to stop you but you didn't care. You weren’t stopping until you were at the top of those stairs, entering the door. 

    You knocked on the door twice and without waiting for a response, opened it. You stepped into the dorm and closed the door behind you. Harry sat on his bunk and when you came in he quickly tucked something under his pillow.

   “Harry listen,” you began. You moved towards his bunk. “I know you think you’ve got tons to worry about and you do actually but can’t you just put it all away for one night?” The room was completely silent except for the sound of your voice so you knew he must’ve hexed the door. You finally arrived at the side of his bed and he still had an absolutely confused look on his face. 

    He breathed deeply. “(Y/N), I really really appreciate you for coming to check on me and all but can you please go?” 

    “Harry please. I know all you’ve been doing is sitting here and looking at that dumb map, please just come down for five minutes and then we can come back up here and hang out or whatever.” He shut his eyes and sighed. 

    “I’m really sorry, I know you spent a lot of time doing that party and I’m sure it’s great but I’m not going and I honestly don’t want you in here either. Can I just be alone?” 

    “Harry-” 

    “(Y/N), seriously.” You were both beginning to look slightly angry. 

    “Is one night away from the map honestly that awful? I’m just trying to help you.” 

    “Have you maybe considered I don’t want your help?” 

    “You are seriously putting a map between us? Ugh between our friendship, I mean.” 

    “This has nothing to do with our friendship!” 

    “Just give me the map!”

    “Get out!” You made a grab for the map but Harry grabbed your hand before you could reach it. “You want the map that bad?!” He reached under the pillow and shoved it into your hands. “There you go.” You looked down at the map, wondering what on it could possibly be so important. Immediately, your angry expression saddened. 

    It wasn’t the map at all. It was a picture of his parents. They were smiling, every once in a while James would lean in to whisper something in Lily’s ear and she would giggle. He would look at her with so much love in his eyes that it could make anyone melt. Harry snatched the picture from you. 

    “You’re literally impossible.” 

    “Those were your parents.” He looked down at the picture. 

    “Yeah, they died on Halloween.” He ran his thumb across the picture. “It never affected me much but lately every time I thought about today, I just.....” He didn’t finish. 

    “I didn’t mean to blow up on you but today’s just been a lot. I just want to be alone.” 

    “I am so sorry. I just thought....I wasn’t thinking I suppose. I’ll go.” He gave you a half smile which seemed like all he could manage. You left the room, walking as quickly as you could. When you were on the other side of the door you let out a breath that you didn’t know you had been holding. 

    Music filled your ears but you couldn’t really make out the lyrics. You walked down the steps, with no knowledge of your own movements and sat on the least crowded couch in the room. It was in a corner tucked away so that you could see everything but no one seemed to notice you. 

    You didn’t know when you started crying but you did and you couldn’t seem to stop. You couldn’t wipe the tears away quickly enough. You couldn’t believe you had just made Harry feel worse than he already had. You sighed, feeling absolutely exhausted. 

    You closed your eyes for a few moments. Maybe you could just sneak away and lock yourself in your dorm and sleep for years. You wouldn't have to face anyone ever again. You were moderately aware of the song switching to something much slower. 

    You opened your eyes to see what was unfolding. Hermione and Ron stared at each other awkwardly. Ron wanted to dance with Hermione and Hermione wanted him to, you could see it in their eyes. Apparently, neither of them could identify this because they both sat down. 

    Ginny was dancing close to Dean. Fred was snogging some girl and George was dancing with another. You closed your eyes again, feeling as if you were beginning to get a headache. It felt like an eternity had passed but the same song was still playing so it couldn’t have been that long. 

    You felt someone standing next to you and you didn’t feel like bothering with whoever it was. At best judging by your luck, it would be some overconfident first year asking to dance. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself. You would just tell them you were tired and leave. 

    You opened your eyes and looked up to see Harry. He stood there looking slightly nervous and a mix of tons of other emotions you couldn’t even match. You stood up quickly. 

    “Harry, what’re you-” 

   “Dance with me.” 

    “Harry, you don’t have to do this.” 

   “Please...I just need this really quickly.” He stuck his hand out and you stared down at it. After a while of you considering he made the choice for you and grabbed your hand. He stuck his other hand on your hip and pulled you into his body. You were absolutely confused but you clutched his back. You rested your head on his shoulder, staring at the ground. 

    “I’m sorry about earlier,” he said. 

    “You don’t have anything to apologize.” 

    “Yeah, I do. I should’ve just told you. I really did want to be here with you. I thought it would cheer me up but when the time came I just couldn’t.”

    “It’s not your fault.” There was a long pause with the only song being the music. 

    “Yeah but it’s not yours either. I like you...a lot. I like spending time with you, you make me so happy. But it’s hard for me. This is all so hard. Ever since Sirius I’ve just shut everyone out, nothing’s the same. I don’t want to lose you and there’s no guarantee that I won’t and that terrifies me.” 

    “Harry-” 

    “Shhh...let me sort this out. I’m scared of all of this, of you especially. Being with you right now is changing my entire day and the fact that that could be taken away so quickly makes me sick.” His voice broke. He held you closer and his grip tightened subtly. “Things would be so different if I was just any other Gryffindor kid and you were you. Things would be okay. I could make you happy.” 

    “You do make me happy.” He let out a strangled sob.

    “I don’t understand how. I’m a mess and a threat. I shouldn’t even be around you.” Your smile contradicted the tears running down your face. 

    “I’m not letting you get away, Potter.” He took a step back so he could look at you. His hand moved upward and the side of his hand caressed your cheek. You thought he might kiss you but he never did. He stood there staring at you like he badly wanted to. 

    This was nothing like Hermione and Ron, there was nothing awkward about it. It wasn’t about that at all. Maybe this moment didn’t deserve a kiss, it was too perfect already. Harry leaned down and you thought maybe he would kiss you but his lips landed on your forehead. 

    The song had ended a while ago but neither of you had noticed.

BONUS:

   You turned over in your bed, staring at the window. You wondered what Harry was doing right now. Maybe he was looking at the stars too. You couldn’t stop thinking about him but that was nothing new. 

    You turned back onto your back and stared up at the canopy. Maybe this was what Harry was doing right now. You would honestly do anything to have some type of connection to him right now.

    Tonight was confusing. You didn’t really know what it all meant. All you knew was every time you thought about it you felt a warm feeling in your stomach. Instead of butterflies it felt like thousands of fireflies were buzzing around in your stomach. You kinda liked it. 

    You sat up in the darkness. Everyone else in the dorm was asleep and you were sure of that. You could hear the sound of each of their steady breaths. You thought about what you were going to do next. Maybe you should just do it, it felt right in some way. 

    You took a deep breath, trying to find anything in you that wanted to stop you. Everything in you was screaming yes. You removed the covers and stood at the side of your bed. 

    Harry sighed wondering if he’d ever get any sleep. He turned towards the window where he could see dozens of stars. He couldn’t stop thinking of you. 

    He didn’t know if tonight had been one of the best of his life or a huge mistake. Maybe he should’ve just kept his distance from you. Who was he kidding. The simple thought of you being near him brought a smile to his face. 

    He ran his hand across his face. Where did things go from here? He grabbed his wand and reached around on his bedside table for his glasses and the map. He shoved his glasses on quickly while casting Lumos. 

    This time he couldn’t care the least bit about where Draco was. He searched for and quickly found one name: (Y/N). He expected you to be in your dorm, sleeping probably but you appeared to be moving. Out of the door, down the stairs...

    Harry sprung up from his bed. He tiptoed across the dorm. He wished he could be quicker but he didn’t want to walk anyone. It was agonizing. He finally reached the door and was so thankful he had finally made it. 

   He opened the door silently. He had his hand on the knob ready to close it when he spotted you. You stood just a couple inches away from him looking slightly startled and slightly excited. He let go of the door. 

    He closed the distance between the two of you without a single word. His lips pressed against yours and he wrapped his arms around your middle. 

    Finally, the night was absolutely perfect.

[piduai]

top 10 asoiaf relationships/dynamics?

never thought about it actually but i will now! i don’t have any ships besides daensa and they haven’t met in canon and i usually enjoy characters individually but let’s give it a shot.

1. sansa & lady, however short-lived that relationship was. “Lady,” he said, tasting the name. He had never paid much attention to the names the children had picked, but looking at her now, he knew that Sansa had chosen well. She was the smallest of the litter, the prettiest, the most gentle and trusting. She looked at him with bright golden eyes, and he ruffled her thick grey fur.”it is implied that all the stark children are wargs, and they have a special bond to their wolves. it’s especially obvious in bran and jon’s case because they’re the only povs with their wolves alive and nearby, but the strong bond between robb and grey wind and rickon and shaggydog suggests that, as well as the wolf dreams arya has while being half a world away from nymeria. sansa, though. her wolf, a literal part of her soul, was murdered. and that in what, the 4th or 5th chapter? sansa’s suffering started THAT early. i think that because lady was killed sansa’s abilities as a warg died with her, which singles her out from her own family. i’ve always found lady’s death the saddest in the whole story.

2. sansa & arya because i’m basic like this. grrm said that he created sansa specifically to be arya’s foil and them being the opposite of each other is brought up in the narrative a good couple of time, and who am i to say that it doesn’t work. arya is shown to be extremely extroverted, empathetic and brass, while sansa falls on the low empathy side and is rather introverted and introspective in her povs, besides her impeccable manners. when i read arya’s povs, i read about her story and surrounding. when i read sansa’s povs, i read about sansa. “when the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives”, ned tells arya, who is then obsessed with the idea of finding her “pack”, while sansa is left to tend to herself after ned’s decapitation, being resilient as a lone wolf and surviving. the times they think about each other in their povs are truly touching as well, “she wanted king’s landing to drown, but sansa was there”, “she dreamed that she had a daughter that looked a little like arya”, “a thousand years ago, she had known a girl who loved lemon cakes”. they sometimes remember each other with such melancholy.

3. sansa & cersei, “you are stronger than you seem. i expect you’ll survive a little humiliation. i did”“Once she had loved Prince Joffrey with all her heart, and admired and trusted her his mother, the queen. They had repaid that love and trust with her father’s head. Sansa would never make that mistake again.”“I ought to have shown her to the black cells as the daughter of a traitor, but instead I made her part of mine own household. She shared my hearth and hall, played with my own children. I fed her, dressed her, tried to make her a little less ignorant about the world, and how did she repay me for my kindness? She helped murder my son.”  i think cersei resents sansa from the very beginning even though she has made good use of her. she’s genuinely disgusted by her innocence and naivete, and i think she both sees her own younger self in her, which she hates, and competition - the book IS written by a man after all, and they always think that all women are at odds with each other. first of all she resents her based on the prophecy that has been consuming cersei since she was sansa’s age, and she hates sansa for being “younger and more beautiful” and the potential “to tear everything she holds dear and take her place”. then another reason is joffrey. cersei is bound to hate any prospective betrothal to her children, because she’s a narcissist and she thinks of her children as continuation of herself - and narcissists don’t take well at anyone trying to take away their narcissistic supply. then she’s also a narcissistic parent (it’s another thing from narcissism per se), and joffrey is her favorite child, so it’s natural that she would hate his bride-to-be. we don’t have any introspection into cersei’s mind when sansa was still betrothed to joffrey, but i wager she held the same distaste towards her that she holds against margaery in her actual povs.

sansa on the other hand, initially of course, loves cersei, adores cersei and is desperate for her approval and her company she considers the highest honor. of course later she grows a healthy fear and disgust towards cersei but their interactions, scarce as they are, are always a delight to read. i find it funny that sansa has been deeply traumatized by cersei’s actions, while cersei thinks that she’s done sansa nothing but good. the PERSPECTIVE of all of that is just hilarious.

4. cersei & margaery, i think it’s supposed to mirror the previous one but margaery is made of an ENTIRELY different cloth than sansa. unlike sansa she was clearly prepared to come into the nest of snakes that is king’s landing and was plainly trained for it, becoming a huge snake herself. margaery is fake through and through, reason for which i love her, and, unlike sansa, who doesn’t have any protection at court and is a war prisoner, is surrounded by her people so cersei can’t do her any harm. besides she’s the actual threat that cersei thinks as “younger and more beautiful” tho i think margaery will not have a kind fate. in the chapter where she’s imprisoned and cersei comes to visit her, margaery shows her true colors for the first and only time: “will you make me call my gaolers and have you dragged away, you vile, scheming, evil bitch?”.

cersei and margaery are both intelligent and cunning but in different ways and they can’t stand each other and it’s somehow delightful to follow.

5. cersei & jaime, it was actually the reason i started watching the show in 2013 and swiftly changed to the books, saw a meme on 9gag that was like “can have any woman in seven kingdoms - fucks his own sister” over a pic of jaime and i got curious. i generally find twincest boring and tasteless but it never fails to intrigue me. a couple of years ago there was a huge ass post with thousands of notes that highlighted some moments from the books and the op was like “besides the incestuous side, cersei and jaime are the healthiest romantic relationship in the story” and i laughed out LOUD because BOY was that person wrong. their relationship is of consuming each other, hating each other,hurting each other, loving each other, lying to each other, idolizing each other, demonizing each other. it’s as unhealthy and toxic as it can get.

6. tywin & all his children, it’s hilarious how he managed to fuck up all of his kids in entirely different ways. all three of them idolize him and demonize him simultaneously, and none of them he has ever loved, using them, lying to them, dismissing their existence as it goes. he’s obsessed with the reputation of his house but he’s utterly ruthless and neglectful towards his family, which cracks me up.

7. brienne and podrick, they’re both awkward yet underestimated teenagers who have no idea what to do with themselves. the sense of camaraderie and bonding they share based on this is funny. pod is the only man brienne has shown to trust throughout her journey, and was worried for him when they got abducted.

8. ramsay and theon, theon deserved all that came upon him and imo ramsay was merciful on him, if i was him i’d skin theon’s face and take out an eye just for sport.

9. jon connington and rhaegar, i have a soft spot for a character remaining faithful to their dead lover years and years later. everything connington does he does out of love for rhaegar, and i can respect that. actually this is the only aspect for the other jon for me as well, the way he thinks about ygritte now and then is somehow touching.

10. varys and littlefinger, i’m sure varys can read littlefinger for shit, and while littlefinger does have his info on varys i’m sure it doesn’t cover even a quarter. who is varys? where do his loyalties lie? what are his goals? with littlefinger every question has an answer, varys though… but the two of them, plus doran martell, are the main players in the game so it’s interesting how things go under the covers.

also dany & missandei! it’s really sweet