#she insults(?) me. THEN she tells me what she thinks

[lechrts]

Die For You. ✷ Lando Norris

Pairing: Lando Norris x Friend!reader

Summary: When he’s the only one that’s allowed to pick on you. (And unfortunately someone else picks on you, and it backfires.)

Word Count: 1.1k

Disclaimer/s: fluff… kinda… defensive!Lando 👅. A tad bit of body shaming i fear …

Vera’s Voice! hi Enya. For U. i hope i did this justice.

The bar was alive with laughter and music, and you were perched at the counter, sipping on your favorite fruity cocktail. As usual, Lando couldn’t resist making a comment the moment he saw you.

“Another one?” He said, sauntering up next to you with a smug grin. “What is that now? Your third? Fourth?“ He grinned with a small pause.

“Be careful. We can’t afford to have you tumbling like a drunk mess in the streets later.”

You glared at him, already irritated. “I can handle myself, and this is my second drink. Thank you very much.” A scoff and eye roll emitted from your body.

“Yeah, right,” He replied, his grin widening. “Say that again when you inevitably start slurring your words and crying about how much you hate tequila.”

“Ha. Funny.” You deadpanned.

“I’m serious,” He pressed, leaning on the counter with a quirked brow and stupid smile. “You’re a lightweight. One more of those, and you’re topless on a counter.”

You scoffed, taking another sip of your drink just to spite him. “And I’m sure you’d enjoy that.”

“Maybe so,” He fired back with a sheepish shrug. “But I’m just looking out for you,” Another wink.

Before you could respond, one of Lando’s mates—you couldn’t remember his name, they weren’t that close honestly—wandered over, clearly overhearing the exchange.

“Seriously,” He said, his eyes scanning the glass in your hand. “Another sugary monstrosity? You know that stuff makes you bloat, right?”

The words hit like a punch to the gut. You froze, the insult hanging in the air as your self-consciousness surged.

“And for the record,” He continued, smirking like he’d just delivered the joke of the century, “It’s not exactly flattering. Just saying.”

Lando’s head snapped toward him so fast it was almost comical. But there was nothing funny about the deadly look on his face.

“What’d you say?” Lando’s voice was low and ice-cold, a tone you’d never heard from him before as her quirked a brow with a repulsed look.

His friend blinked, caught off guard. “Just telling your friend here that she’s gonna get fat if she continues drinking all that—“

Lando cut him off with a light shove, almost like it was a warning for him to shut up

“Relax, mate. I was just jok—”

“Yeah? Well, it wasn’t funny,” He cut him off sharply, now stepping forward to put himself in front of you. “Who even says that? You think that’s funny?”

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” The guy stammered, clearly starting to regret opening his mouth.

“Doesn’t matter,” Lando snapped. “You don’t talk to her like that. Ever. Got it?”

“Alright, chill, mate. I didn’t know she was off-limits or whatever.”

“Off-limits?” Lando repeated, his voice rising. “She’s not off-limits, she’s just better than your pathetic attempts at humor. So why don’t you piss off.”

The guy muttered something under his breath before walking away, leaving the two of you standing in tense silence.

“Lando…” You started, but he turned to face you before you could say more.

His expression softened as he ran a hand through his hair. “I hope you don’t believe a word he said.“

You swallowed hard, still feeling the sting of the comment but touched by Lando’s protectiveness. “Thanks for…that,” You said quietly.

“I mean it,” Lando said, stepping closer. “I know I’m a prick but it’s all in good fun.” A pause. “I also never make comments about your appearance.. considering you’re gorgeous…” He trailed off, his sly way of sneaking in a compliment making you slightly blush.

You huffed out a small laugh, your lips twitching into a faint smile. “I don’t know what’s more shocking: that you just defended me or that you actually said something nice for once.”

“Don’t get used to it,” He said, his usual smirk creeping back.

“Of course,” You muttered, rolling your eyes. “Who else will tell me I’m stupid every second they can?”

“Only me,” He added, his tone more serious. “No one else gets to. Not like that.”

You looked up at him, his sincerity catching you off guard. “Deal.”

And just like that, the teasing and bickering was back—but this time, you couldn’t help but feel a little safer, knowing Lando had your back.

likes, comments, & reblogs are appreciated! ^_^ and pls Lmk if you wanna be apart of my permanent tag list

tags! @planetpedri @halfwayhearted @wdcbox @freyathehuntress @iovepoem @piastri-fvx

[amiaclone]

begging on my knees pls write se-mi (player 380) x reader where se-mi is flirting with reader but she’s completely oblivious!!!

love ur work!

Thank you! And yes i will I’ve gotten so much se mi 🥲 can’t blame you though she’s gorgeoussss

Se-Mi x gn! Reader

“Wow the money is as worth to me as being by your side”

“Aw really? Thanks!”

Se-Mi mentally sighed this was a very obvious pick up line too!

It’s not like you were stupid when Nam-Gyu tried to insult you in a complimenting way you weren’t afraid to talk back and call out the insult you were just……oblivious about flirting that’s all

Se-Mi immediately took a liking to you the second she started talking to you and decided to protect you in the games so….she could have some fun with you when we’re here and maybe even communicate outside the games

Luck was not on her side as you barely reciprocated her flirty gestures

Maybe you just aren’t into her? Could be it hopefully not maybe she should just confess?

I mean she’s tried everything comparing you and your beautiful looks to random objects hand holding just simply being nice and those lovey-dovey qoutes rarely……Does she have to go Thanos level for you to realise your flirting with her?

She’d never do that as that would make her lose all respect for herself

Anyways here she is hanging out with you away from her annoying team just talking to you

“Soo-“

“Huh?” *She suddenly turned her head to you she was daydreaming….about you*

“Nothing you seemed tense that’s all. You’ve been spacing out a lot today does this mean we’re getting closer?” *You smiled sweetly Se-Mi honestly couldn’t tell if you were flirting or not*

“I suppose so” *She smiles* “Just thinking about important stuff that’s all”

You quirked an eyebrow smiling “A strategy for the games? It better be that cause honestly we barely survived this game someone smart and pretty like you definitely knows what to do…”

Se-Mi smiled a bit maybe she wasn’t being dense but to her you definitely had feelings for her which is a relief but she has to be sure “Yeah sorry not that when i do i promise I’ll tell you first you’re probably my favourite person here”

You smiled “Aw don’t be cheesy….you’re definitely my favourite person too”

It cues to you all with your team you formed! All alliance Se-Mi can barely tolerate but atleast you and Min-Su were on it

You left to go to the bathroom so then Thanos turned to Se-Mi “So when are you gonna tell them?”

Se-Mi quirked an eyebrow frowning “Tell them what?” Thanos leaned back “Senorita it’s so obvious you’re into her….you think we’re all as dense as her or something?”

“Don’t call them that”

“Ooh! She so does like her!” *His annoying friend Nam-Gyu giggled like a preschooler*

Se-Mi sighed “And what if i do? It’s not like it’s any of your business”

Thanos smirked a bit “Well i for one don’t care about whatever you do with your relationships but the flirty mushy stuff is killing my vibe…..besides what if you or her died?”

She rolled her eyes “Hypocrite” she thought to herself

He was right about one thing though if you did die she’d be pretty upset in general but especially not confessing…..what if you don’t feel the same way? Honestly she doesn’t even care she’ll confess….after the next game she promised that

Cues to mingle it was the second round Se-Mi has been holding your hand the whole time you swear it’s stuck to her

“Uh Se-Mi-“

“Quick!”

The number was five Thanos kicked out Gyeong-Su and she dragged you and Min-Su barely

You breathed heavily while barely making it into the room you stared at Se-Mi she sighed “Well atleast we were stuck together the whole time…..like mates or something”

You sighed smiling “Yeah mates…..good friends”

Se-Mis grinded her teeth

You ended up losing Se-Mi during one of the later rounds as Thanos kicked her out and eventually you and you’ve been barely trying to survive

Eventually it was one of the last rounds before you could even process who grabbed you and dragged you into the room it was locked

You signed in relief that Se-Mi was alive “Se-Mi..”

She smiled back in relief that you were still alive thankfully it was the last round “Atleast we’re alone in this together…..”

It was true we’d be in room for about 30 seconds till the hoodies took the bodies

You thooght for a second “Yeah….I’m glad it’s you though and not some creep….”

Se-Mi didn’t even care that you didn’t get gesture since atleast you both were alive

The two of you walked out in time cue Se-Mi avoided Thanos and dragged you away incase they tried to bother you

You and Se-Mi were then eating your food here she was pondering in thought again

You frowned she’s been thinking a lot lately is something bothering her? Is it someone at home? You were gonna finally ask that

“Hey Se-Mi…..are you okay?”

She snapped her head towards you “I’ve just been thinking about……something really important”

You smiled sweetly “Well you don’t have to tell me I’m just worried that’s all”

Se-Mis heart warmed over it “Well…..It’s you”

You laughed a bit “Me? Seriously do you have a crush on me or something”

Se-Mi could barely process what you just said is she supposed to laugh say she loves you in tears? It came off as “Well….Yeah i do like you”

“Oh why didn’t you make it obvious?” You quirked an eyebrow “I like you too”

[vettelsvee]

COME WHAT MAY SERIES

red bull sebastian vettel x female race engineer intern & webber girlfriend!reader based on 2010 and 2011 formula 1 seasons

started: JANUARY 4TH 2025 currently status: on going | last updated: january 4th

taglist: @hc-dutch @raavadakedavra @coffeedestroyingperson @evey-kuznetskova @bowielovesyou @chaoswithus @isotopemylove @iceman-kazansky [feel free to tell me so i can tag you and you don't miss anything!]

Y/N Y/L/N had only two stable things in her life: Formula 1 and her relationship with Mark Webber… or, at least, that’s what she thought.  

Despite having a father battling worsening pancreatic cancer, two younger sisters to care for (even with the help of their uncles), and the constant pressure of standing out in a male-dominated world, the girl was always ready to put others before herself. That’s why when Sebastian Vettel, whom she considered her best friend ever since she joined Toro Rosso as an intern in 2008, unexpectedly broke up with Hanna Prater, his girlfriend of over three years, Y/N didn’t hesitate to invite the German to spend the first days of 2010 with her since she wanted to help him clear his mind and, above all, give him the support he deserved.  

However, Y/L/N’s imperfect fairy tale turned into a real nightmare when Webber was caught off guard hearing his teammate’s voice in the background during a phone call with her.  

From that moment on, Mark’s insecurity spiraled into overwhelming jealousy. Sarcastic remarks, veiled insults disguised as criticism, constant questioning, and demands to push Vettel aside from her life made Y/N convince herself that it wasn’t her boyfriend, 12 years older, manipulating her, but rather his desperation to hold onto her love and avoid losing her. Sebastian, on the other hand, was fully aware that that wasn’t love and that Y/L/N was slowly dimming, no matter how much she tried to prove otherwise and reassure him that everything was fine, just a small rough patch in their relationship.

One night, left completely alone and, once again, let down by Webber’s empty promises, and with a drunk Sebastian who kissed and confessed her she wasn’t his ex, and never would be her, Y/N Y/L/N realized that, perhaps, she had always wanted something more than just a friendship with Red Bull's golden boy, but she had simply chosen to accept the love she thought she deserved, even if that meant to never lose the sunshine of her life. 

© VETTELSVEE (2025). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

MASTERLIST

PROLOGUE. While Y/N just wants to help Seb to get over Hanna, Mark thinks she's cheating on him with his teammate.

[charming-doodles]

Happy Holiday Truce @jackdaw-sprite !!! (And a happy new year~)

I kinda smushed two Lost Time prompts and was inspired by two posts you tagged as Lost Time for inspiration since I've never really written or drawn art exploring Danny and Clockwork's relationship before. (Hope that's ok xp) I hope you like it ><

Danny raced through the Zone, struggling to reach Clockwork's lair as ghost after ghost delayed him, picking a fight with what Danny's core quietly noted was motivated by desperation.

Desperate to what? Beat him to the ground?

No, that wasn't it.

His core hummed with... discomfort??? Unsatisfaction??? None of these ghost were giving him what he wanted.

What did he want?

Danny didn't know. Didn't have time to think as he blasted away one of his rouges, confusion bubbling when Pandora of all ghosts seemed to bow at her defeat. Although, it wasn't like she was putting much effort into their fight. She seemed only amused. A quiet acceptance lingering in her eyes as he slowly floated away from her.

"I understand I can't have you. Not with how your cores call for each other."

...what?

He didn't stick around for an answer. A desperate need like no other pulling him towards Clockwork. Idly, as he finally reached Clockwork's lair, a conversation he had with Clockwork resurfaced.

"Ugh, that's the third time this week that Skulkers broken his promise not to attack during school hours! And it's only Tuesday!" Clockwork simply smiled in amusement as Danny ranted about his day.

"But as I recall, you've successfully ended the fight before the Fentons showed up with minimal damage. You're improving. What is there to complain about?"

Danny snarled but pulled back, startled at his harsh reaction, hands slapping his mouth closed. Where did that come from?

"Sorry, it's just that..." He growled softly, flexing his hands into fists, "Lately these fights have been feeling so... UGH lame!"

"Lame?"

"Yeah! Lame." He huffed, looking away from Clockwork, knowing he was laughing at his childish insult.

"Poor thing." Danny's core bubbled at the insult. Clockwork raised his brow towards Danny, the ghostling's irritability easy to read with how little control he has in hiding his core's projections. "Is the lame fights to blame for your irritability or does the baby ghost need a bedtime?"

"BEDTIME?!" He stuttered at the offense, his core surged at the insult. He groaned. "Don't tell me you want to pick a fight, too! That's what everyone seems to want from me lately! At least you'll be a challenge."

Clockwork's eyes pierced right through his soul and Danny involuntarily shivered with fear.

"Perhaps tomorrow."

"Tsk- Perhaps tomorrow." Danny mocked. "Scared you'll lose?"

"No." He smiled a little, "I'd like to see their desperation as they fight for guardianship one last time. I let this go on long enough."

Guardianship. His core hummed with recognition. Expectation.

This was it. What was it? He wouldn't be alone anymore! Since when was he alone? He just had to prove himself! But why??

He entered Clockwork's lair with a grimace, irritated and tired from all the ghosts attacking him since their last conversation. Everyone understood what they were fighting for except him. Would Clockwork even explain himself after?

He didn't have much time left to think, when Clockwork swung at him. His core hummed with excitement, wild green eyes meeting calm, piercing red.

Game on.

[arias-archive]

can you do a Lyra x grayson fic where Lyra gets body shamed online or in public by paparazzi and Grayson looses it???? And Lyra calms him down and it’s all fluffy??

a/n: YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN! LOVE ME SOME GRAYSONLYRA

warnings: body-shaming

description: number one rule of dating a famous guy: never read comments. but lyra has seen and heard enough that it barely affects her anymore, grayson, on the other hand, might go to jail for beating up said commenters

tig masterlist | masterlist

protective asshole (a graysonlyra fic)

The video must have been replayed several times now, the same criticising voice droning on from her phone speakers. Yet, her finger refused to move, hovering just a hairbreadth away from the screen.

Just a pathetic girl, encased in her boring little life, with nothing better to do. That’s what Lyra kept telling herself as she dragged the cursor back to rewatch the video, as if the opinions flung out would actually change.

If Lyra was being completely honest, it didn’t affect her as much as it should’ve. The video was awful, the words coming out of the girls mouth harsh and hateful, but somehow Lyra managed to keep it out. She wouldn’t allow herself to become ruffled by some trashy tart on social media.

Besides, Lyra didn’t even know the girl enough to be offended. Truly. She was thinner, compared to Lyra’s accentuated curves. Growing up a dancer meant that Lyra maintained her healthy figure, which was continued through running. But her body wouldn't go any slimmer, and trust her, she had tried. She couldn’t help the genetics which shaped her to be the woman she is today.

So Lyra learned to embrace herself for who she truly was, not what she looked like. Sure, to some she had a body that screamed party to some people more than it showcased dancer, but why did that matter?

She was so engrossed in the short clip that she completely forgot her boyfriend who was lounging right beside her. And sure enough, his unforgiving icy-eyes pierced through her phone, silently seething at the video.

Snapping out of her daze, she scrolled past it, but not before Grayson spoke up. “What was her username?” His tone was so cold, so menacing, Lyra almost flinched.

Instead, she sat up and snorted, shrugging lazily. “Don’t know, don’t really care.” She was proud of herself to find that she actually meant those words, not having to hide behind the bravado to bear to bullet wounds.

“Tell me it.” That was Grayson mad. Very mad. Nobody could do ‘very mad’ as well as Grayson Davenport Hawthorne after seeing someone insult his loved ones. Seriously. Talk about lethal.

“It doesn’t matter,” Lyra insisted with dismissive wave of her hand, as if swatting the very thought from existence.

That didn’t make Grayson forget it though. He simply raised a stubborn brow, silently daring her to dismiss him again. His hand clenched around his own phone, and she was certain he was plotting someone’s very tragic demise behind those eyes.

“Why do you need to know?” If he wanted to be stubborn, she could dish it right back. She has told him to leave it, but noooooo, he just couldn’t listen. Stupid asshole.

He was silent for a moment, jaw clenching and unclenching. “Nobody ever has the right to speak to you that way.” He swore under his breath, shaking his head. “Who do they think they are? I’ll sue them. I will destroy th-”

Lyra cut him off with a firm kiss, her warm breath dancing over his face. When she pulled back, she pried his death-grip fingers off his phone, interlocking her own fingers with his instead.

The kiss barely distracted him. If anything, he still looked ready to murder someone. Protective asshole.

“I don’t want you doing anything,” she told him quietly, face mere inches from his, “because I genuinely couldn’t care less about some idiot’s damn opinion.”

She took a deep breath, her hand squeezing his tighter, lending some of her patience. “They don’t know me, Grayson, so let them say what they want. This isn’t the first time, and you know it won’t be the last.”

She could still remember the utter shock she had felt the first time the media comment on her body. It was soon after her and Grayson’s relationship went public. Paparazzi shouted some idiotic insult about how she looked in the dress she was wearing. Lyra had never seen Grayson so volatile before. He has never, ever, lost his control like that. Normally, he was so unshakeable arrogant.

Anger was still etched onto his every sharp feature, making him appear like a statue carved from ice, cold and unflinching. She rubbed her thumb between the crease in his brows, smoothing it out. She let out another heavy sigh, manoeuvring her body so that she was laying on top of his, head tucked beneath his chin.

This relationship was still relatively new, and Grayson wasn’t used to being touchy with, well, anyone. So Lyra didn’t get offended when she felt him tense up beneath her, but she also didn’t pull away. The asshole was just going to have to get used to it.

It took him a moment before he dropped his phone onto the mattress, wrapping an arm around her loosely. The room was quiet, and a soft, peaceful quiet that was impossible to experience in their lives. It felt… nice.

“Thank you, though,” she whispered reluctantly, so he could drop the damn subject. “For wanting to protect me. But you know I don’t need it.” With her cheek pressed against his chest, she could hear the slightly unsteady patter of his heart. You wouldn’t be able to tell that from his face though.

“It shouldn’t be like this,” he muttered lowly, tracing circles on her back. “Being with me doesn’t merit that.” He pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head, breathing her in. He blamed himself for this, as he did with everything else. No matter how many times she argued with him, he didn’t believe her. It wasn’t his fault.

Society loves to pick apart girls who date celebrities to make themselves feel worthier, as if that girl was the sole reason they weren’t the ones picked. It’s a shitty justification but it’s also true. Lyra made her peace with that.

The room was quiet again, the occasional rustle of sheets or soft sighs disturbing the peace. Grayson cleared his throat before he spoke up again. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He sounded slightly hesitant to ask the question, and Lyra had never known him to hesitate on much.

She nodded against his shirt, sticking up her thumb for good measure. “Yes. I mean it. I’m really not bothered.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to contact her. I’m sure I can get the message across withou-”

“Grayson.”

[flo-zoinks]

Headcanons for if you followed them around camp but you were crawling and trying to bite their ankles :)

Chlo you are the weirdest omg 😭 suree

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU FOLLOWED EACH RDR2 GANG MEMBER AROUND CAMP CRAWLING TRYNNA BITE THEIR ANKLES💀 (MY OPINION)

(Again here assuming you're like John in terms of likability and age/gender because will responses differ greatly)

Arthur - give you evils and say "what the hell is wrong you? Get away from me" tells whoever you're closest to, eg hosea or Grimshaw to get you back in line before leaving camp because his mood is now ruined

Hosea - stop and just tell you to get up because you you look like a prize idiot, "more then already atleast"

Dutch - grab your shoulder and bring you to your feet then shove you outta camp, then rant for 5 minutes to whoever listens that society is destroying sane minds

Charles - "stop it. That's weird" looks at you weirdly and probably kick you if he had to just so you stop

Sadie - grab her shotgun and hit you HARD with the back end of it, then kick your ur ass shouting curses

Molly - runs to Dutch. Dutch probably would just tell you to get up cuz you look stupid but then scold her after for bothering him with such "trivial matters" because "obviously it was just in good fun"

Pearson - shout out like a child, try and use his cooking tools as weapons and back away from you aiming them. After it's over says he was holding himself out from unleashing his anger in camp

Trelawny - ridicule your weird behaviour very sarcastically but walk quite a lot faster trynna play it cool like he's not a bit frightened by your activity

Javier - "HIJO DE PUTA QUE ESTÁS HACIENDO 😨". Starts kicking you until your down then just continues until you promise you won't do it again. Probably helps you back up again just to threaten you with a knife

John - look at you disgusted and immediately pulls out his shotgun aiming at you until you stop

Karen - throws whatever shes holding at you (probably a beer bottle) and curse you for being a freak

Tilly - runs towards Arthur or Javier whilst hurling insults at you calling you a sick freak

Abigail - assume it's a weird perv thing then run away to suddenly stop and kick you when you don't expect it. Then tell John to make sure Jack doesn't go near you

Micah - "are you down there to practice begging me for kindness...heh..." (heavy breathing). If it wasnt Micah it would be assumed they are trying to creep you until you just stand up and be normal. If you're a minority he says "didn't know (slur) did that too what did I expect huh"

Jack - run away screaming into Abigail's, Hosea's, Dutch's, Arthur's or John's arms. Probably starts crying then later when you're sleeping throws rocks at you for revenge

Bill - "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING I'M NOT INTO THAT STUFF" backs away almost running backwards with his gun pointed at you

Uncle - forgets he has lumbago and runs across camp trying to get you to attack someone else. Probably hides behind John and says to you something like "surely you'd prefer this one, sure he needs a bit more meat on him, but take him take him!!"

Mary-Beth - throws her book at you and runs to Arthur for help, or Karen. Thinks you're possessed.

Sean - thinks it's a game so joins you to chase after Kieran, then blames you when he gets told off for starting it

Lenny - "what the hell.." kicks you once then pulls you up. Gives you a lecture after on respectable behaviour

Grimshaw - just stops and grabs you by the ear up on your feet, then smacks you. Tells you off and then drags you out of camp, especially if you did it near the girls she doesnt take bs

Kieran - backs away, runs away, shouting he's not an O'Driscoll. Probably hides further from the edge of camp for the next day but on the bright side everyone thinks your funny, if not a little weird, except Mary-Beth ofc

Reverend - thinks you're possessed, tells you bible verses, throws water on you, then runs away and drinks away whatever tf he just saw

Strauss - he is NOT surviving that again.. he has no chance in these headcanons ever

Alr yall tell me who I forgot!! Thanks for the heacanon you sucha weirdo😭. ALSO CHLO BOO U STARTED SOMETHING BC NOW MY INBOX IS JUST CRAZY FUNNY HEADCANONS OMG

[oddyseye]

I cannot stand the idea of Athena and Odysseus as a couple.

It's disgusting, it's weird, and honestly, it's the biggest insult to brain cells since mortals started thinking they could sail without checking the stars. But — and this is a big, glorious, golden but — the headcannon of every other Olympian thinks they’re lovers? That’s comedy gold. Athena, the eternal virgin, the impenetrable fortress of logic, brought low by the rumor mill of her own family. Hera: Alright, Athena, let’s talk about the wedding. So, for the dress—or should we go with a suit? Athena: Wait, what? Wedding? Who’s talking about a wedding? Hera: Oh, don’t play coy. You and Odysseus? It’s practically written in the stars. I’m thinking something classic, maybe a gown— Athena: Married?! I’m not marrying anyone! Hera: You can’t hide it forever, darling. A goddess like you deserves a big, beautiful wedding. Athena: Wedding? Hera, what in Olympus are you talking about? I’m not marrying anyone, let alone Odysseus! Zeus: She’s right, Hera. This is ridiculous. Athena marrying Odysseus? Over my dead lightning bolt. Hera: Zeus. Zeus: Uh… or… or maybe it’s a great idea? Love is beautiful. Yes, beautiful. Proceed. Athena: WHAT?! I’m not even in a relationship! Odysseus is a mortal man, and I see him as a son! A son! Aphrodite: Oh, spare us the dramatics, Athena. Everyone knows you’ve got a soft spot for him. You’ve been “mentoring” him for how long now? Athena: He’s my student, Aphrodite. I teach him. That’s it. Poseidon: I hate Odysseus. And I hate you for even considering this. But if you’re hell-bent on it, I suppose it’s your disaster to manage. Athena: I am not considering this! I— Dionysus: I’m here for whatever, as long as there’s wine. Athena, if you’re going through with this, I’ll make sure the reception’s lit. Athena: Dionysus, I am NOT getting married! Stop encouraging this! Dionysus: Hey, I’m just offering a little fun. You’ll need it after dealing with that guy. Right, cutie? Apollo: We are NOT friends, do NOT talk to me. Hermes: Athena, come on, you don’t want to marry a mortal? This mortal? You’ve spent so much time with him. Maybe you’re just too proud to admit it. Athena: Hermes, I will smite you where you stand— Hestia: Everyone, calm down. Athena, they’re just teasing you. But if you ever did want to settle down, it’s not the worst thing. Athena: It is the worst thing. This conversation is the worst thing. Hades: Marriage isn’t so bad. Persephone and I have made it work. Persephone: Exactly. And that mortal of yours is resourceful. That’s not a bad trait to have in a partner. Athena: He is not my partner! He’s a mortal — a mortal that I’m mentoring! Demeter: Mentoring. Sure. You keep telling yourself that. Athena: Demeter, don’t start. I mean it. Artemis: I don’t see why she has to marry anyone. Athena, I’m with you. Stay single. Keep your dignity. Athena: Thank you, Artemis. Artemis: But if you did marry him, it wouldn’t be the worst thing. He is brave. Athena: Artemis?! Zeus:....I still think this is a terrible idea… Hera: Zeus, sighing: Fine. I love it. Best idea ever. Carry on. Ares: He has to fight me to prove his worth! Athena: This conversation is over. Athena can’t even walk into the room without someone winking at her or asking how “her mortal boy toy” is doing. Zeus, king of being gross, looking genuinely scandalized for once. Hera planning her “totally hypothetical” wedding. What really gets me, though, is the idea that none of them even care about her protests. She could swear on the River Styx that she sees Odysseus as a son, and they’d still be like, “Sure, sweetie. Your son.” Meanwhile, she’s losing her helmet over it, and it’s just... chef’s kiss. Peak entertainment. I hate the ship, but I love the chaos.

[hbpseverus]

for all that us snape fans say how we love his character because he is flawed and complex, i find it disappointing how many of us can't extend that line of thinking towards lily, while pretending that young severus was entirely innocent. i've noticed this a lot recently and it's been bothering me quite a bit so i've felt the need to defend lily, or to be exact, analyse the downfall of their relationship without basically giving her all the blame and instead looking at both characters and especially lily more critically.

so. let's talk about the conversation between her and severus after the werewolf prank. some snape fans harshly criticise her in this scene because she insists that james saved severus and doesn't acknowledge how serious this prank was, while insisting that at least the marauders don't use dark magic.

and i agree that she should have been more on severus' side in this case. after all he could have died or gotten seriously injured, turned into a werewolf etc and she downplays the severity of the situation and generally doesn't acknowledge how the marauders bullied severus very much. so yes, she could have been a better friend here.

but at the same time, from her perspective, she was already noticing that severus was spending more time with his housemates, all of them aspiring death eaters, how he had always looked up to lucius and was slowly heading down that same path. how he didn't truly disapprove of his housemates disgusting actions towards muggleborns - her own kind. even though it's not entirely logical, since we see through the marauders that light magic can be used to do harm aswell, this also explains her dislike of dark arts, which these (aspiring) death eaters all were fond of and using to do awful things to her friends (and hogwarts also pretty much teaches that dark magic is pure evil). by this point she had most likely also experienced discrimination at hogwarts for being muggleborn. she knew the situation in the wizarding world wasn't favourable for her, and now her best friend was starting to agree with those people?

the next notable event was of course snapes worst memory (sigh, here i go talking about it for the millionth time). and i really don't like how some people on our side of the fandom talk about lily in this scene (of course, this is not all of us).

first of all we saw that she initially smiled upon seeing severus be bullied, and yes, this was honestly quite disgusting. we know that severus saw this and was rightfull hurt, and this very well could be the reason why he snapped at her. but that is her only 'crime' in this scene. because she then does quickly turn against james and this entire crowd and defends severus. only for james to insult and threaten her, and severus to call her a 'filthy little mudblood'.

now, people say she should have done more to defend severus, that her attempt was quite half-hearted. i don't know. maybe she could have done more, but she did tell the marauders to stop, you can't say she didn't try. some say she should have hexed james herself or bring up her prefect role (although i'm not sure it's confirmed she was one at this time). but say she was a prefect, her job would be to stop fighting, which she tried to do, not to get involved in fights herself. and you can tell that james is entirely dismissive of her and clearly won't let her stop him no matter what, even threatening her in the process. lily also genuinely seems to still hate him at this point in time, she is described to have been disgusted with him to the point where even harry questions his parents marriage. so i don't believe it's fair to say she was just 'flirting' with james here.

furthermore, people believe she should have forgiven severus for being called a mudblood. i used to agree that it wasn't that serious, but i feel differently now. because it wasn't just a word, it wasn't a one time mistake or slip up or even the first time she noticed that he was slowly turning into a future death eater. that's why i brought up their conversation after the prank. lily knows that severus' descend into the death eaters arms had been going on for months, years even. being called - not even just mudblood, but hearing the words "i don't need help from a filthy little mudblood like her" out of the mouth of her former best friend was just the final nail in the coffin. it was her confirmation that severus was finally too far down that road, and she, as a muggleborn, could no longer justify surrounding herself with him. so she abandons him at the scene, and i can't blame her one bit.

of course this post is not meant to be severus bashing in any way, he is and always will be my favorite character, but i don't enjoy pretending he was completely innocent, even his younger self. this is also not to excuse the marauders, as their bullying never had anything to do with severus possibly being a death eater and was really just for fun and because they could, and because he was an easy victim. but i truly believe that lily deserves some grace and also to be analysed as a complex character like severus, rather than painting her as one dimensional, either fully good or fully bad.

severus becoming a death eater is the tragic result of his background and surroundings, and when we analyse him we factor all of this in. lily was wealthier, had a better family, was pretty, smart and popular and had a good support system in and out of hogwarts. she couldn't understand why severus made the choices he did. maybe as an adult she would have looked back and understood it all better. but as it was, she was just a teenage girl watching her best friend turn against people like her and not knowing what to do about that. and what's also important to me to point out is that it was not her job to try and stop this, to try and fix him or whatever. it was first and foremost the adults in severus' life who failed him over and over again, not lily.

finally a lot of us can't understand how lily ended up marrying her former friends abuser and use this as an argument against her, but i honestly don't want to go too deep into this topic. i personally strongly dislike this relationship, because james treated lily herself like shit too, aswell as other people. we have to believe that he truly did change, even if there is not much to prove this. even if he did, i personally wouldn't have been able to forgive him. but i don't believe that marrying james makes lily a bad person by extension or anything. ultimately, if she was able to find happiness, i'm happy for her.

[veevettel]

COME WHAT MAY SERIES

Available on Wattpad on March 14th, 2025

red bull sebastian vettel x female race engineer and webber girlfriend!oc

started: JANUARY 4TH 2025 currently status: on going | last updated: january 4th

taglist: [feel free to tell me so i can tag you and you don't miss anything!]

Diana Wagner had only two stable things in her life: Formula 1 and her relationship with Mark Webber… or, at least, that’s what she thought.  

Despite having a father battling worsening pancreatic cancer, two younger sisters to care for (even with the help of their uncles), and the constant pressure of standing out in a male-dominated world, the Austrian was always ready to put others before herself. That’s why when Sebastian Vettel, whom she considered her best friend ever since she joined Toro Rosso as an intern in 2008, unexpectedly broke up with Hanna Prater, his girlfriend of over three years, Diana didn’t hesitate to invite the German to spend the first days of 2010 with her since she wanted to help him clear his mind and, above all, give him the support he deserved.  

However, Wagner’s imperfect fairy tale turned into a real nightmare when Webber was caught off guard hearing his teammate’s voice in the background during a call with her.  

From that moment on, Mark’s insecurity spiraled into overwhelming jealousy. Sarcastic remarks, veiled insults disguised as criticism, constant questioning, and demands to push Vettel aside from her life made Diana convince herself that it wasn’t her boyfriend, 12 years older, manipulating her, but rather his desperation to hold onto her love and avoid losing her. Sebastian, on the other hand, was fully aware that that wasn’t love and that Wagner was slowly dimming, no matter how much she tried to prove otherwise and reassure him that everything was fine, just a small rough patch in their relationship.

One night, left completely alone and, once again, let down by Webber’s empty promises, and with a drunk Sebastian who kissed and confessed her she wasn’t his ex, and never would be her, Diana Wagner realized that, perhaps, she had always wanted something more than just a friendship with the golden boy, but she had simply chosen to accept the love she thought she deserved, even if that meant to never lose the sunshine of her life. 

MASTERLIST

PROLOGUE. While Diana just wants to help Seb to get over Hanna, Mark thinks she's cheating on him with his teammate.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

Saiki and Aiura are bound to end up togethre because Aiura predicted it and her predictions are never wrong by the way! Hope this helped! Soulmates cant be platonic beacuse thats not what she predicted!

? im not sure where this is coming from but my point isnt and has never been "aiura and saiki are platonic soulmates", its "regardless of their status as soulmates, it cant force them to fall in love and so that relationship will just develop as it may, platonic OR romantic." the way you say this honestly just makes it seem like you dont understand what "soulmate" means and WHY people call them "platonic soulmates", its not that people think "platonic soulmates" is a specific label that defines them and that thats what the universe wanted them to be, its that "soulmates" cannot be defined as strictly platonic OR romantic without being an extremely creepy forced romance or friendship and it doesnt make sense that way anyway, so people are allowed to think their label as soulmates ends up being platonic FOR THEM.

and also that its really creepy that people think she has some sort of ownership over him or something... that just because she tells him theyre romantic soulmates means his feelings dont matter, youre not allowed to ship him with anyone else and hes not allowed to love anyone else, even if theyre not dating because she already staked her claim on him or something 😭

and nowhere in canon does it say she predicted that they end up together btw, its already very clear to me that youre very biased but this is just something you made up. if you headcanon that, thats perfectly okay!! but as far as we know, it didnt happen. nowhere does it say or even slightly imply that her soulmate power has anything to do with her predictions of the future, most of her powers that we see actually dont lol she predicts some futures but her other most prevalent powers we're shown are her ability to see auras and "compatibility" (which you can headcanon or theorize as having to do with future predictions, but again in canon this is never even so much as alluded to)

so yeah its not a future prediction and also even if it was, they literally prove in the show that the future can be changed, especially if you KNOW the future. but regardless, i doubt its a prediction in the first place and all evidence points to it not being so, especially since aiura went out of her way to come to pk to find her soulmate which, if she had already predicted theyd be together eventually, would change their future, their meeting, and their love story drastically and, although i have criticisms for how she wholeheartedly trusted her power and didnt actually make any romantic connection with saiki before trying to date him, aiura is not nearly stupid enough to mess it up that badly

anyway, like ive said a million freaking times, i do think "soulmate" the way she says it has a romantic connotation, but my point is that that doesnt actually mean much in terms of anything romantic happening between them. it didnt happen in canon and theres nothing to imply that it ever will. shipping and headcanoning is awesome and fun and i love love loveeee aiura and saikis friendship and how fun it is to build off of, but a romantic relationship between them is not canon, not now and never in the future. in myyyyy opinion, they found each other and theyre good for each other and thats what matters to me about their relationship and thats what makes them "soulmates".

also guys me saying your ship isnt canon shouldnt be considered an insult to your ship, i dont know why people take it that way 😭 im a fucking diehard kubosai shipper which is the least canon you can possibly get and you dont see me desperately grasping at straws to force it to be canon, join the club ??? its not that hard ??? also some of my other favorite ships are teruaisai and poly psychikers so its not even like im saying mikosai is impossible 😭 also last note, i find it very very hard to believe that people genuinely think asou would and did make a saiki ship canon LMAOOOO he gets close with ships sometimes like with satou and suzumiya, he somewhat implied they both like each other but not that they would ever get together... i wholeheartedly believe terusai is implied to be reciprocated and i have a lot of evidence for it, but its not CANON for a reason, asou would not do that and its more interesting this way anyway. we can agree to disagree on implications, but hating on me because you think your ship is CANON is next level delusional

[coraniaid]

I think I can, if I try, just about persuade myself that Xander and Jesse were friends.

Partly because the ways in which Jesse behaves unpleasantly [his treatment of women who aren't attracted to him, his obvious self-hatred about being " a loser" who nobody wants to date; various lines that were presumably written as jokes but just come across as disproportionately mean-spirited insults] echo the ways Xander himself is also sometimes (to a lesser extent) unpleasant (especially in the first two seasons of the show). In both cases, I suspect the writers didn't quite realize how badly the character was coming across (doesn't Joss Whedon say in the DVD commentaries that some of the way Jesse behaves around Cordelia is based on things Whedon himself did as a teenager? which suggests a certain obliviousness about precisely how sympathetic this behaviour actually is).

Also, well, because you can maybe assume that Jesse is going through a (non-supernatural version) of what happens to Xander in The Pack (in that he's "turning into a sixteen year old boy", as Giles puts it) and that he didn't use to be quite so unbearable to be around (or so obsessed with Cordelia). And because the closest that Jesse ever comes to being sympathetic is when he tells Buffy he wants her to feel at home "unless you have a scary home", which -- if you try really, really hard -- you can maybe tie into the (later) implications we get about Xander's own home life [and hence conclude that on some level Jesse is aware of and sympathetic to the reality that some people -- people like Xander in particular -- do have "scary homes"].

But Willow? President of the "We hate Cordelia" Club Willow? Shy and soft-spoken computer loving nerd Willow? "I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world before he notices me" Willow? Yeah, it just doesn't make sense to me at all that she and Jesse would be friends. The only thing they have in common is hanging out with Xander.

Actually, I'm not sure there is a point in either of the first two episodes in which Jesse or Willow refer to the other as a friend, is there? Or even hang out together except at school with Xander? They both get captured by vamps while at the Bronze on the same night, but they weren't there together. Willow tells Buffy in Welcome to the Hellmouth that she's in the Bronze because she "thought Xander was going to show up ... we're just friends", and in The Harvest Giles will tell Xander that, when he sees Jesse again, he won't be "looking at your friend". And vamp!Jesse will address Xander as "buddy". But Willow never calls Jesse a friend, that I can remember.

After Jesse is captured Willow talks about "wanting to help [Buffy]", but she doesn't show any real concern for Jesse himself. In fact, when Buffy goes to try to rescue him, and Xander is about to talk himself into chasing after her, Willow reassures him that "Buffy'll be okay". Not Jesse, but Buffy. And what's her immediate reaction to Buffy and Xander coming back and telling her that Jesse is something "worse than dead"? She says "at least you two are okay". And that's it, that's the whole of her reaction. Xander tells vamp!Jesse he's sorry and gets angry and talks about disliking vampires, but -- even in an episode were Jesse's death is acknowledged -- we never seen any emotional response to his death from Willow. She reacts far more to the death of Cordelia's boyfriend Kevin in Prophecy Girl, and Kevin is a character who (1) only exists for one episode and (2) Willow herself never interacts with.

So, yes, it rather beggars belief that Willow would be friends with Jesse and I don't think there's any on-screen evidence that they actually are friends in any real way. I don't think Willow would even hang out with Jesse between classes at school if he wasn't with Xander.

obviously the out-of-universe explanation for why jesse's name is never mentioned again after "the harvest" is that (a) while joss was tickled by the idea of immediately killing off a character he had set up to appear important, he had no desire to make a show with the dynamic of 'the hero and her two friends who are in mourning and traumatized over the death of their third friend who the hero failed to save', and also (b) the writers forgot he existed. but in-universe, given how many times it would have made sense and been in character for xander and/or willow to bring him up (such as in wacky stories from their childhood, or times when they are throwing buffy's failures in her face), i am forced to conclude that the reason jesse is never mentioned again is because neither of them actually liked him very much. he was just unpopular because he is unpleasant and so they let him hang out with them because they were unpopular too. but secretly they were kind of a bit relieved when he died because, well, he sucked and they didn't like him. and i'm sure they felt guilty about being relieved. but that didn't change the fact that they were. which is why neither of them ever mentions him again and never will

[clarissaweasley-10]

ughhh i hate this smm

[dattebabunn]

Do you ever think about how transfemme hcs are treated with so much less credibility and kindness than transmasc ones. It's an extremely frustrating trend I see

I am transmasc btw

[greatprotector-if]

— OCS AS LOVE TYPES

tagged by @stephschoices to do this uquiz for some ocs and naturally i chose the 3 stooges <3 thank you very much for the tag i love uquizzes!!

tagging everyone reading this. i can do that right

KALLIAS — love that lasts

love unconditional, love unfailing. you love no matter what happens because you believe in the best – of you, and them. it will hurt and it will fail you, but this love tastes so sweet – you can never believe that it bitters sometimes. the way you choose to love unconditionally is incredible.

GALEN — love that strengthens

you make sure that people know that they are loved, and you give them strength when they need it the most. this is an ability that is rare; the love that you hold speaks wonders of yourself. i hope you're doing alright. isn't it exhausting always being the bigger person?

V — love that calms

this is sweet. i hope you know that you make others feel at ease around you. you're a gem, a blessing, a treasure – and you should know it. it's comfortable loving you. it's a privilege to be around you and to be let into your world.

[re-re-redline]

I am so glad you asked

What a Convo Between the Two Looks Like:

Rider: “……”

Saber: “………”

Rider: “……”

Saber: “………”

Rider: “Look, I’m so—“

Saber: “For the good of Rome, kill yourself.”

Rider: *Stunned silence.*

Rider: “…A-Alter. Just listen to me, I—!”

Saber: “Unnecessary. I already know and I don’t care.”

Rider: “………”

As you can see, Alter just cuts Constantine off anytime he speaks directly to him. He wants to hear nothing from him and is 99% sure he knows exactly what his creator is going to say next, and funnily enough? He’s actually right on the money most of the time.

Now, the contents of what he does say to Constantine vary depending on whose in the room with the two of them. He’s not going to say anything particularly inflammatory or cut deep with his insults if anyone else is around—Master especially—because he knows that someone’s going to jump to Constantine’s defense and that could start a fight. Hence he keeps it on the down low in public.

But in private? Oh, he’s not holding back. Alter constantly tells Constantine to off himself because, thanks to Alter now being here, Constantine is no longer needed in Chaldea.

Think about it. Alter is the ideal that Constantine made up of himself, he is THE BEST Constantine there is purely because of the fact that Micheal sees him that way (or saw due to Constantinople’s interference making it not so anymore.) So why would Master need someone like Constantine (Rider) when Constantine (Saber) now exists, hm? And if that’s not convincing then compare kits. Alter actually does damage and can survive way longer than Constantine can and ever will. And that’s all that matters to Master, right? Damage and survivability.

You see the picture I’m painting here? Alter constantly attacks Constantine’s insecurities when they both happen to be alone because he absolutely hates Constantine for giving Constantinople the material she needed to create him the way he is now.

And all poor Constantine can do is just stand there and take it because he knows Alter’s right about most of what he said. The one thing that Constantine will never ever concede to Alter is the fact that he is needed. Master NEEDS him and he knows that. His predecessors and the Holy Progenitor need him. His friends: Don Quixote & Sancho, both Vlads, Johanna, and so, so many more need him. He knows for a fact that there will be a Constantine shaped hole that cannot be filled if he were to end himself like Alter wants him to. And Micheal could never hurt the people he loves like that ever. …Unless he were giving his life for them, of course.

But yeah, Alter is not shy about showing his contempt. He just dials it down when other people are present to keep the peace. Though you can tell that he’s slowly getting angrier by the second when his sword starts emitting that ghastly cursed red aura from it. It starts off dim but gets to be an almost crackling and bright flame on his sword when he’s at his limit, it’s that apparent.

Thankfully for everyone, Alter doesn’t start on his own so the two can awkwardly sit in silence in a room together and nothing will happen. The two will just be sitting in envy of each other until one leaves.

Constantine is envious of Alter’s stoicism and ability to shake things off. He always tried to be that person when he was alive but just couldn’t hold himself together because of the immense pressure and stress he was under during those four years of his reign. He wanted to be the man his people deserved but could never truly fulfill that lofty standard he set for himself and that only led to his strong self loathing after death.

Alter is envious (as much as he can be) of Constantine’s ability to feel as well as his having memories of his family and friends in life. Alter wants to cry, to be afraid of dying and to feel weak or inadequate—he wants to feel all of the negative crap that Constantine loathes because that’s what completes a person. He also very much wants to feel joy and contentment like Constantine does. Maybe then when he finally gets his emotions back, he’ll understand why his chest tightens slightly every time he sees a family having fun. Maybe he’ll understand why he can’t bring himself to get new earrings, or why the person who gave them to him is so important to him. Maybe he’ll understand why he feels the ever so slight need to watch over Master like a hawk when they get sick. Maybe he’ll understand why…

See, the two of them envy what the other has not realizing that it actually sucks more than they think it does. They both simultaneously understand each other the most and the least out of everyone and it’s just… UGH! It’s both riveting and infuriating to watch these two interact for that reason. Ugh… These two need to reconcile so bad. You’d probably need to use a Command Spell to get Alter to not cut off Constantine mid-sentence and actually listen to him. You also would probably need to give Micheal a big pep talk so he can have the courage he needs to actually say what he’s really feeling. It’ll be messy but it is possible!

Endnote: I hope I answered your question! Alter’s pretty difficult to write dialogue wise because of how utterly dry he is, but that only adds to the tragedy of his existence. He could be more in that department but he just isn’t because he can’t be anything more. But you could definitely see on his face that the contempt runs so, so deep. Hence why he solely stabs at Micheal’s insecurities whenever they get to talk alone. A precise set of strikes that tells Constantine all he needs to know about what Alter thinks of him.

Alter would probably explode in anger—and yelling at the top of his lungs and grabbing Constantine by the collar and shaking him kind of anger—if they weren’t in Chaldea. The walls are thinner than they look and Alter, yet again doesn’t want to start anything with anyone else to keep the peace. That’s Alter at his most animated, otherwise he’ll be snarling and fuming at his creator. Shooting him dirty looks when he thinks no one’s looking and what not.

But that’s all I got for now. Thank you for your kind words and sharing your thoughts! I loved answering.

Have a good day, and I’ll be seeing you!

—Redline, over and out!

Constantine XI Alter (Saber)

>Spoilers for Constantine’s Interlude<

Foreword: This was supposed to be a sketch, I swear. But on another note, I am alive! Just slowly working up to writing after a few hectic weeks. But the train is moving, just very slowly which I imagine is nothing new. One thing I HAVE been getting up to is my painting of portraits of my blorbos for their birthdays. I suck at drawing anything festive, so I hope the quality of the piece makes up for it, hehe… I have Constantine’s done and I am extremely proud of it.

Buuut that’s in February, so let’s get into my explanation and thoughts on this hypothetical of my boi! Starting off with…why he looks like this.

(I would also like to note that I haven’t ran this through TTS yet so there probably is some grammatical errors and for that I will apologize in advance, I will iron them out soon.)

On the Subject of Appearance:

Alright, obvious and iconic Alter color palette aside, what’s up with the vast amounts of white? Because… Our guy wears black mostly in his first ascension and then dies it down in his second by adding a LOT of red, so it’d make sense his alternative would be set apart by having him wear and have the color white. Plus it illustrates just how DIFFERENT he is compared to Micheal, how opposite or perhaps…opposing he is. But more on that later. (Also I was planning on this being just a sketch so I wasn’t really thinking of coloring anything until his second ascension when I realized I would have to in order to communicate how different he is from Constantine and it kinda snowballed from there. Oops…)

Now…about the, uh, cracks on his skin. THAT is marble. Sections of Alter’s body are petrified marble with a few dry cracks in the skin. Why? Because of the legend circulating after his death of him being a marble statue. It’s like how Hans has mermaid scales and how Okita will forever have tuberculosis, Alter’s body along with several other things were affected by how people saw him. I’ll get into it more later.

But! There are some cool things, or not cool rather, to note about the marble patches on his body. Like how a lot of pain he’d feel is nullified by it thanks to lack of, y’know, nerves. This also goes for sensations in general as he wouldn’t know if you were tapping him on the shoulder or were pouring boiling water on that spot. So yeah, sections of his body cannot feel but can still move just fine. It doesn’t impede his movement at all! It just…cracks a lot.

If you ever see him stretch and pop his spine, you will not only hear the snapping of bones but also stone splitting. Don’t worry, it’ll fix itself so you don’t have to worry about him sustaining major damage from just moving around. It’ll just take some getting used to.

Now. You may have noticed that the marble patches grow more the further into his ascensions he is, to the point where his armor receives patches of marble on it too. Now this wouldn’t even be something to mention if not for the fact that I’d like to think that anything new he wears in his 2nd and 3rd ascension starts petrifying slowly over time. Not all the way but enough to the point where it gets to be a chore doing laundry.

But yeah, that’s all I got for his design so far. On to the next!

On The Subject of Class and Gameplay:

If you play JP or have Clairvoyance then you already know why its not the obvious choice. Because his legend mentions specifically that the angel who wakes him up will give him the sword he used on his final day. So it’d make sense that his class would change to Saber.

Now. In this hypothetical where I’m the one designing him as a unit. I’d imagine his gameplay to be like so:

2 Buster Cards with 5 hits, 2 Arts Cards with 4 hits, and 1 Quick card with 3 hits. Same card numbers but different hits.

His NP would be an Offensive Buster NP that does the following: Increase Buster Card Effectiveness for 3 Turns, Increase ATK for 1 Turn, Inflict Curse, Deal Major defense ignoring damage to one/all enemies, Restore HP by 2,000 (effect increases with Overcharge), Apply Resistance to Death by 5000% for 1 time (non-stackable) and Apply a stackable Guts for 5 turns that restores half of Constantine XI Alter (Saber)’s HP upon Death.

That is one hell of an NP that not only hits hard but also provides major survivability which is what Constantine is all about. Now, I could quite decide if he should be a Single Target or an AOE but I do imagine his gameplay to be your awesome clutch soloist unit for CQ’s, Advanced Quests or boss fights. Is this really cool hypothetical NP is a showing of my massive bias? …Maybe. But that’s not important, onto the skills!

Skill 1: The Ends Justify The Means (A) [Cooldown at LV.10 is 6 Turns]

Increase Buster Card Effectiveness for 3 Turns, Increase ATK for 3 turns for All Party Members and Apply Target Focus to All Party Members Excluding Constantine XI Alter (Saber) for 3 Turns.

Skill 2: Demise Privilege (Alternative) (C) [Cooldown at LV.10 is 7 Turns]

Increase NP Gauge for Self by 50%, Gain crit.stars per turn for 3 turns, Remove 2,000 HP from all Non-Roman Party Members and Restore HP by 3,000 to self, Apply Guts to self for 3 Turns.

Skill 3: Legend of The Marble Emperor (EX) [Cooldown at LV.10 is 6 Turns]

Apply a State Where Upon Hitting an Enemy, Inflict Curse (1,000 DMG) and Disastrous Curse for 3 Turns, Apply Special ATK to enemies with Curse.

As you can see, Alter is a very selfish DPS that drains HP from his non-Roman allies to keep himself alive along with inflicting curse stacks for damage over time. He’s be a nice pair up with Van Gogh for that last thing. And much like his NP, he really wants to live and it’s going to be difficult to kill him. So yes! Soloist in the form of a Saber.

Is his kit too cracked? …Maybe. Maybe not. I’ll let you all tell me what’s what.

On the Subject of Composition:

Constantine XI Alter is a Saber class servant comprised of three parts.

The first and the largest portion—the base, if you will—is Constantine’s ideal self, dreamed up during his final years of life in the late 1400s. As we are aware, Constantine utterly despises how weak he thinks he is. He hates the fact that he feels like he wants to breakdown and cry so much, he hates the fact that he’s terrified of dying, and most of all he hates that he isn’t strong enough to take the current crisis in stride like he believed his idols would have. Thus, Constantine saw his ideal self as a man who would not feel fear in times of crisis, would not cry when he was losing, and would not break under pressure. A truly stoic and strong leader that can handle any sort of disaster, that is to say: an emperor who wins and survives.

The second part that makes up this servant are the wishes of the people of Constantinople. After Constantine death, a rumor floated around that the emperor had not died. He was rescued by an angel at the brink of death and turned into a statue. He would then sleep in a hidden cave underneath the Golden Gate of Constantinople awaiting the call of an angel who would restore his form and give him the sword he used in the final battle. It was a lovely thing to hope for and believe in, thus that rumor turned into a legend backed by the hopes and dreams of the people. It is this that would have completed this variation of Constantine had it not been for…

The third and final part is less of a ‘part’ per se and more of a distortion of what already existed. A wild, vengeful anger and grief corrupted what would have been the lovely culmination of the ideal self of Constantine plus the people’s hopes and dreams and twisted it into a cold automaton hellbent on continuing the existence of Rome as he knew it no matter the cost. These intense negative emotions came from the one and only Constantinople herself. When our favorite emperor perished and the Ottomans took over, there was no one as throughly stricken by grief—if we ignore George and Constantine’s remaining family—as Constantinople. It was pure agony to watch her people be murdered, enslaved and violated for days with the subsequent rebuild and installation of new buildings hurting too. But the most painful thing of all was watching her subjects slowly disappear one by one: people she watched grow up and live life for centuries on end vanishing never to return until all that was left was a large group of strangers who now occupied that space. It was maddening to say the least. The result was a lot of time passing and the events of Constantine’s interlude (yes, I read a summary of it and it could not come sooner for me.) While Constantinople WAS forced into slumber through the battle, much like the emperor she is so deeply connected with, Constantinople made a final last ditch effort to have her and Constantine’s wish come true. Thus creation of an Alter of Constantine XI as well as a new singularity set shortly after the death of the real Constantine came to be.

On The Subject of Personality:

Alter is barely like the man we are familiar with, he would be practically unrecognizable if his face and voice were different. The most glaring difference is the lack of any expression on this man’s face. The muscles on his face only move for three reasons: he’s speaking, blinking, or the boiling rage underneath his skin has erupted upon the mention or appearance of the Ottomans. He just carries that same deadpan expression no matter what happens, good or bad. This is due to Constantine’s wishes to be a truly stoic man down to his core. Though, thanks to the distortion caused by Constantinople, most of his other emotions have been muted to make room for the, and I quote: “Boiling Rage™ that is 100% necessary and important to the restoration and maintenance of the Byzantine Empire. Yup, totally required. Why? Because screw you that’s why!”— Constantinople, circa Right Now. I jest, I jest. But really. Alter is either having tiny tinges of emotion flittering around in his skull sometimes—you know like the alleged to exist fruity taste of La Croix—or pure and absolute anger, no in between. Thankfully, for masters, the percentages of the anger is incredibly low unless for some odd reason you have Ottoman Turks that keep appearing left and right in your area.

Unlike our friend Micheal, or any sapient being really, Alter doesn’t really…have opinions. He’s just neutral about most things in the world and mostly shrugs at whatever he’s interacting with. Good weather? Okay. Great food? Okay. Amazing friends? Okay. The milk went bad and the store’s closed right now? Okay. You stepped on the corner of five different Lego blocks on your way to the bathroom? Okay. Your pillow is scorching hot and you can’t sleep? Okay. Several hundred people just died in utter agony? O—you get the point. I’m sure you know the one exception that Alter has, but allow me to provide you with one and we’ll get into another in the next section. The red earrings on his ears, cracked beyond belief yet still hanging just fine… Yes, Alter likes those. That’s why he hasn’t taken them off or removed them. Why? Well… He vaguely recalls someone important to him gifting him these. That man, after helping Constantine put his on, took out another similar pair and placed them on his own ears. He then said: “Now we match! Plus, I’ll be able to pick you out in even the most dense of crowds, my lord, as these earrings are one of a kind.”

(Yes, I headcanon that George gifted Constantine his iconic red earrings and has a matching blue pair for himself so that they both kinda match but hold their individuality all the same. A nice little thought that warms my heart.)

On The Subject of Speech:

The way this man talks is so dry and bland that one would think that Alter is bored out his skull by simply existing. His voice is so flat and borderline monotone, no effort to emphasize anything or even to make digesting the info easier. And to make matters perhaps worse he doesn’t talk much and tends to make what little he does say compact. It’s a flavorless way of communication that only changes when, you know, the Boiling Rage surfaces.

You know how in Constantine’s Bond Profile #1 it states that he “sometimes speaks more roughly in times of duress?” (Or “a more crude tone” if we’re reading the fan translation.) Yeah, well that’s no longer a sometimes. He still doesn’t talk much but man is he swearing and being rude as hell when he is pissed. The imperial decorum that our Micheal lives by has gone out of the window and will not be seen again until Alter calms down. No, he won’t apologize to anyone. Don’t bother, it’s a fruitless endeavor.

On the Subject of His Knowledge:

Alright, what does Alter know about himself? He knows that he was crafted by Constantine to be the ideal version of him. He knows about the legend surrounding his death and that being the reason for the petrification on his body. And he knows about Constantinople messing with his Spirit Origin and his current reason for existing and the objective that comes with it. …That’s it. That is all he knows.

Nothing about his personal life or his family or his best friend who had his back throughout it all, nothing. In its place are vague and fuzzy vignettes of familiar people he can’t put a name or face to that appear in his mind’s eye from time to time.

Now, as for his opinions on what he knows… Uh, I’ll just get the one with the least words on it out of the way first. The petrification thing? Yeah, he could not care less. The patches of marble on his body don’t limit his mobility any and yeah, the petrifying of his clothes is kind of annoying but it’s slow enough to where it’s not that big of a deal. It’s whatever.

Now. As for his creation—that being Constantinople messing with him and him being Constantine’s ideal self—he has a…not very good opinion on the two. And by that I mean he absolutely hates them.

He hates Constantinople for twisting his already good spirit origin into what it is now and placing within him an undying anger. He also hates her for basically using him as a tool to get what she wants all because the ‘real’ Constantine rejected her wishes, essentially using him as a replacement. Not good.

He hates Constantine for cursing him with the ridiculous traits of being stoic down to his core as well being the ‘perfect’ emperor for his people. Because of that, not only does he not FEEL anything at all but he also has this immense pressure in his very soul that he MUST have Rome survive at all costs and that he must solely devote himself to that cause with every fiber of his being. Yes, the severity of those traits were caused by Constantinople’s anger and grief distorting him but the base traits were all on Constantine.

Now, in Constantine’s defense (because I am a Constantine defender), he had no idea that this would happen let alone that an Alter of himself based on what he saw as his ideal self, the emperor his people deserved and would suit them best, even existed in the first place. It was a dream to him. A dream of a man who was much better than he was, doing way better than he is and winning all at once. That is all that Alter was to him then and what he was to Constantine before the singularity.

Endnote: Whew… That was a lot! But I think that was I’ve got on Alter. As you can see, I’d been doin’ a big think on him and he was a very fun character to design both artistically and in writing. I h Endnote:

Whew… That was a lot! But I think that was I’ve got on Alter. As you can see, I’d been doin’ a big think on him and he was a very fun character to design both artistically and in writing. I hope you don’t mind the crumminess in the piece, if you can even call it that. I wasn’t joking when I said it was supposed to be a sketch hence the noticeable climb in effort across the ascensions.

In other more exciting news… I have 10 followers! Ten whole people! That’s enough to get one of those long tables at the fancy restaurants with!

It’s quite the milestone, one I was not expecting. So, to celebrate, I’m going to bypass the order of things I WANTED to get through with before I did this sort of thing—since I didn’t think I’d get 10 followers, honestly. But, I will be dropping a poll sometime soon—before the day’s end Nope, way too sleepy right now.—of a few headcanons you guys can choose from for me to do next! And not JUST for Constantine, Mehmed, or Sannan—no, no. I will also be tacking on my two other blorbos that I have neglected to mention, them being Hajime-chan (my strongest Saber) and Izou (my strongest Assassin.) So it’ll be Multi-Core Headcanons (haha), five people in one list. And don’t you worry, it won’t be like, one paragraph long or anything half-assed. That shit will be long, like 4k minimum per person which would—if I strictly hang around that number—would be a 20k long HC list.

So case in point! It’ll be a celebration and I implore you to vote.

But yeah. That’s all for this post. I’ll also be posting something else shortly after that is NOT the poll but a nice occurrence for lil’ ol’ me. If you have questions, comments, a desire for elaboration or a keyboard smash of your thoughts, let me know! And I’d like to thank you all for indulging my delusions today and before today and I hope you all have a great day.

—Redline, over and out!

[citrine-elephant]

jill valentine would absolutely bite someone, wouldn't she? did i get a good read at her character, at least post re5?