#she initially was just there to create jim angst

[lifeofdc]

Saw a YouTube comment once that someone liked Barbara Kean better when she wasn't evil (aka S1 and S1 alone) and that she was just annoying and I was like wow. How does it feel to have the worst take on her ever

[doflamingadonquixote]

Even the devil was once an angel | [1/?]

Summary: You are a psychiatrist and decide to play a dangerous game with the worst of criminal minds. Or: you're a bit bored too.

Pairing: Jim Moriarty x Fem!Reader

Chapter word count: 2714

Warning: +18, mind games, angst and smut, hurt/comfort, stalker!Moriarty (Jim Moriarty is his own warning)

Next Chap: 2

I. The day we met

The first time you meet James Moriarty, he pretends to be someone else.

💥💥💥

That morning London showed leniency to its citizens, letting the clouds clear from the gloomy day of the day before and giving way to warm sunshine that broke the dry and cold temperatures.

The little park outside your window was teeming with so many different people. Mothers who accompanied their children to school, engaged couples who stopped along the road to exchange affection, elderly people who let themselves be carried away by their pets.

For a brief moment you identified in one of those people, away from the twisted world you floated in, gasping for air to try not to fall down again.

How pleasant it must have been to lead such a simple life. Follow a policy that doesn't put your life at risk for even a second.

You heard the unmistakable sound of an email and turned on yourself in the mobile chair, taking your mind away from your fantasies and returning to reality. You opened the mail and read its contents.

You absentmindedly ran your fingertips over the computer keyboard, quickly deciphering the message and dwelling on the unmistakable initials of Mycroft Holmes. 

Although it sounded more like an order than a real request for assistance, you forced yourself to respond passively and affirmatively about your presence at the appointed meeting place.

Just before you could send the mail, a soft knock came to your door.

Let your eye scroll one last time on the encrypted script you used and then with a click you send your reply back to the sender. You immediately closed your email-box and invited your patient to come in.

Your secretary had warned you that same morning that a new patient had requested a consultation and since she had determined from the tone of his voice that it was urgent she had placed him the same day.

The white door clicked and this little man appeared on its doorstep and snapped his neck from right to left, trying to locate you.

When he found you, his lips parted in an embarrassed smile and he moved from one foot to the other on the door while he seemed to assume an excited and anxious attitude that made you raise your eyebrows in a funny way.

“Good morning,” he stomped forward and reached over your desk, “Richard Brook. I made a meeting this morning with your assistant.”

With a smile, you grabbed his hand and noticed an unusual nervous tremor. The grip was weak and his fingers were smooth but before you could linger too long, his hand slipped away from you.

“Of course, I've already been informed. Nice to meet you, Mr. Brook.”

You rose to your feet and with your heels you noticed that you were slightly taller than the man. You went around the desk, approaching him and with one arm pointed to the real leather armchair not far from you.

You avoided touching him, raising a hand behind his back only to urge him to move forward but without creating real contact. You felt too much agitation in the air. Probably an unexpected gesture from you would have put him on the run.

“Oh, yes, thank you.” He makes an odd leap forward as he runs a hand behind his neck. “Please, just Richard.” He added as he dropped to the soft dark leather.

The room offered a wide space, occupied only by a mahogany desk and an office chair, the welcoming chair for patients and a small single armchair where you sat immediately, closer to study your client.

He was wearing a one-size-fits-all gray T-shirt and ripped jeans of a faded blue. He waved his sneakers over each other, often making your gaze fall down.

“Anything makes you comfortable, Richard.”

You forced your gaze back to him, focusing on his hazel eyes and his dark, undone hair.

Everything about him showed little attention to himself but inevitably your eyes rested on young, well-manicured hands. His nails were short and freshly trimmed, no bite marks along the surrounding flesh and cuticles.

Richard caught your attention and casually placed his hands between his thighs, hiding any other signals. 

An alarm bell rang in your brain, warning you that you had a great actor in front of you.

Before he could notice your moment of evaluation, let the most sincere smile slip on your face and closed your eyelids to prevent him from reading a fake.

“So, Richard. What would you like to talk about today? Is there a reason for your presence here?”

You brought your hand to your chest and hips, mimicking a search for something and stood up. You had to get back to your desk as quickly as possible.

The man followed your movement, his mouth slightly open to speak.

“What a careless, I forgot the folder. Forgive me a second...”

You had just passed the chair when the reloading click of an unmistakable weapon rang behind you.

“Unusual for the government's personal psychiatrist to forget something so elementary. Reeeeeally disappointing.”

It was the low pitch slowly rising into a childish moan that sent a shiver down your spine.

It wasn't the first time you had dealt with psychotic killers but it was definitely the first time anyone had found you in the undercover job.

You wore the best rigid and impenetrable mask you could find in that unexpected situation and forced your eyes to focus only on the weapon that was pointed directly at you instead of looking for the cameras that Mycroft had placed in your office. If you only had a vague idea who he was you were sure he would easily catch your eye.

The rigid and anxious body of the man who had entered the office seemed to have completely melted away, giving way to one full of arrogance and sadistic fun.

“Beginner's mistake, right?”

You frowned at his remark but luckily the guy was protagonist enough to explain without having to ask for anything.

“The hands. I didn't want to ruin them. I'm a prima donna on this.” He held his right one up in front of his face, looking curiously at the nails. “I must have underestimated you a little too much.”

He laughed a little at your neutral expression, almost wanting to break it just for the sake of seeing you scared or angry.

“It seems that my boys are doing a great job with bugs...” He dropped his back against the chair as if he were the owner of the place and waved the gun to point to the whole office before pointing it at you again.

You felt that if you remained silent for a long time, the man would have shot you without thinking twice.

“Who are you?” It was a stupid question, the first thing you thought of saying without sounding nervous.

The amusement that lit up his face turned into an expression of complete coldness. His eyes blocked your every chance of reading, darkening and narrowing dangerously.

“No, no, no...” he moaned, looked away from your figure but before you could even think of moving a muscle, he jumped up from his chair and took two big strides in your direction.

It took all your willpower not to flinch from that sudden outburst that had dragged him within inches of you. The barrel of the gun pressed hard just above your breasts, giving you bursts of pain from the excessive pressure.

“Haven't you figured out who I am yet ?!”

The high tone of voice made you clench your jaw and painfully bite the inside of your cheek to avoid jolting. The difference in height didn't give you any advantage and the more you looked into the depths of those dilated pupils, the more you became aware that it was an animal ready to jump on your throat.

You thought about it for a few moments and then sighed loudly. It couldn't be anyone but him.

“My assistant does careful research on every patient who crosses my threshold. Before letting you in, she must have necessarily identified you and this means that the results she found on Richard Brook were reliable. However, you staged a little theater, committing yourself to make me believe that you are exactly the desperate and melancholy little boy without keep in mind my professionalism.”

You watched his irritated expression slowly crack. You took that as a good sign.

“The ability to create a well-recognized false identity, the art of knowing how to play a role, your knowledge about my work, the fact that I have stand in the way of only one subject in the last two years...” eyes from bottom to top, connecting your gazes again. “I can't say it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Moriarty.”

You were incredibly angry with Holmes for not showing you at least half a photo of the man you were dismantling the entire criminal link to.

Knowing the identity of Moriarty was reserved for very few, true, but if there was even the slightest chance that the criminal could identify you, you wanted him to have been reported to you.

James Moriarty gave you a smile before turning his back to you and spread his arms in a theatrical and dramatic gesture.

“Din din din! Looks like someone just spared a bullet.” He commented enthusiastically.

Without being seen, you turned your head to the desk and thought of the Walther suspended and away from you under the desk. You took a couple of steps back, pretending to have pain in your joints and being forced into a movement to stretch your legs.

But the criminal didn't seem to care because he slipped the gun between his waistband and jeans, stretched like a cat with his arms up, and began wandering around the room, studying the various photos and documents leaning against the gray wall.

“I thought you were just another puppet in the hands of the government, doctor.” He said your title as a strange mockery as he grabbed your psychotherapist qualification off the wall. “But I have to change my mind, you seem to be vaguely competent in what you do.”

The rational and conservative part of you suppressed the compelling and suicidal urge to retort and humiliate him.

“He seems to be very knowledgeable about me. I thought there were no documents certifying my work with the government.”

You took another cautious step back and finally felt the surface of the desk beneath your fingers as you slowly arched your knees to feel down.

“What a stupid conclusion, doc. I can call you doc, right?”

You finally feel your fingers closing around the grip of the gun but you see Moriarty's free arm rise high and the sound of a snap of fingers resounds in the room.

A few seconds passed where you couldn't figure out what had changed but then the figure of the criminal turned and focused on you and at the gun that you were holding by your side.

Exasperated, he rolled his eyes.

“I feel offended, doc. I thought we were having fun here.” He rests the frame that he was holding back in its place, adjusting it to the maximum of obsessive and then holds out a hand to you, in a clear gesture.

When you look down on your hand you find the red dot of a sniper rifle and a tired smile is painted on your lips. Did you seriously have any chance against this man who was 10 steps ahead of you?

“You can't blame me for trying, can you?”

Your voice came out more amused than it should and Moriarty noticed it because he returned to smile at you with that maniacal expression as you put the gun in his open hand.

You had learned a lot about James Moriarty. Mycroft Holmes had told you about it, back then when he had entrusted you with several members of the Mexican cartel to be questioned and 'persuaded' to gossip about their highest bidder. You had been told of the criminal's incredible danger and you were also aware of his unstable voluptuousness in changing his mind, opinion and actions. 

You were certain that if the vocabulary was aware of the person, under the word psychopath you would find his face.

To buy time, it was enough to play his own game without unbalancing.

“We are not all great geniuses, Mr. Moriarty, but I assure you that we can do very well even without being.”

Interminable seconds of silence passed and your thoughts wandered to your young secretary a few meters from you, regardless of what was happening inside your room. If the man had shot, would she have run to see what happened or would she have run away?

You were hoping for the second one, you really didn't want to have a woman on your conscience not aware of your real job.

James closed his hand on the weapon but also grabbed your fingers in the process. You still felt that the sniper was aimed at you but Moriarty had an interested and heated look in his eyes.

“I can't deny it. John Watson seems to be a great addition to the balance of the Holmes and you...” he chuckled, maniacally as he absently stroked your fingers over the gun, the barrel of the gun pointed at you “... you definitely pissed me off doing that magic number on my precious buyers and sellers.”

Then, without warning, you felt the cold surface of the Walther forcefully push under your chin, like a dangerous caress. The fingers of James' right hand landed on your face and he used his thumb to force against your lips, violently, squeezing the soft flesh against your white teeth.

“I wonder how much your language proficiency is really worth.”

An unhealthy thought won you over. Jim Moriarty was really a rare case to study, a level of psychic disorder so severe that it could no longer even be considered pathological but that he maintained a healthy and real awareness of himself and the surrounding environment. You had dealt with psychopaths or schizophrenics but they all had a different, almost abstract, unreal conception of the world. 

And he had a weakness. He liked to play.

You must have been a bit crazy too to propose what you were about to propose to him.

“How about betting then?”

The pressure on your face eased, the gun lowered a few centimeters but you didn't dare to take your eyes off the man who was holding you in his hand and under fire. His body reaction had confirmed that you were riding the right wave, though.

“I can give you a demonstration of how I do it. I guess you are thinking that your clients are stupid enough to be manipulated by a simple psychotherapist. If you really think you are immune to all sorts of my therapy, you risk nothing.”

You felt his fingertips absentmindedly caress your skin just below your dark circles and for a second you had the terrible feeling that he could snap and pull your eyes out of their sockets just for the sake of making you scream and apologize for your insolence.

But instead of doing so, a long groan of perplexity vibrated from his throat as his lips slowly curved into a crooked but satisfied smile.

He unexpectedly pressed his hand with the gun against your cheek and the free hand on the opposite side. You felt the cold metal push until it left temporary marks but you were too busy with his face hovering over yours to be distracted.

“You have a special subject to study, what do I have in return?”

“A temporary distraction...” his face remained impassive at your words so you forced yourself to add more sarcastically than rationally: "and the satisfaction of being able to shoot me in case I have shown you that I'm not as good as the government describes me.”

You were still alive and your head wasn't leaking brain matter so, somehow, he must have liked your answer when he left your office.

[hummingbirdsalt]

Batfam as Borrowers

Because I'm always down to combine my favorite pieces of fiction with the concept of borrowers 😌 This'll just be a mess of ideas so... buckle up lol

Borrower!Bruce, like his canon counterpart, lost his parents at a young age.

There's no shortage of danger when you're only inches tall, and I kinda sway towards their death having something to do with a human. Not a deliberate act, but something unintentional and mundane, like rearranging furniture. The human doesn't even know such tiny people exist, let alone that they're in just the right spot to be crushed.

Bruce is traumatized, and left with an even greater fear of humans than his kind already has. Seeing the damage they can cause, even unintentionally, sticks with him.

Borrower!Alfred is here, too, 'cause I said so. He's been something of a neighbor, living in a different section of the house but visiting frequently. He takes Bruce under his wing after Thomas and Martha's death, and teaches him how to borrow.

The thing is, I want Bruce to be a loner for a while... we're certainly not gonna kill off Alfred, so let's just say they get separated. That's sad enough already, though it does leave a glimmer of hope that they'll see each other again.

Now alone, Bruce doesn't like to stay in one place for too long. When it comes to making a secret space for himself inside a wall/under a floorboard, it's a hideout, not a home. With his frequent moves, meeting other borrowers isn't too uncommon. He usually keeps interactions to a minimum, just giving or receiving basic info about the house and its humans.

But things change when he meets Dick. The young borrower is alone, and hurting in a way Bruce finds all too familiar. There's no way he can leave him.

The next time he goes in search of a new hideout, Dick comes along. Bruce tells himself that eventually, he'll find someone better-suited to take care of the kid. But every time they cross paths with another borrower, that initial feeling persists... he can't leave him.

He can't leave the next one either. Or the next. Or the... well, it's not like he went looking for all these kids.

I just love the idea of Tiny Tired Dad Bruce ❤️ And I'm very open to hearing thoughts about the various batkids as borrowers, because I don't claim to have in depth knowledge. Of course, there's a lot of freedom with this AU, but it's nice to integrate things from canon!

Off the top of my head, I like the idea that Dick is still something of an acrobat. For whatever reason, it's how his parents taught him to move about, and he is constantly climbing things or jumping around in such needlessly dangerous ways. Bruce gains several gray hairs just watching him.

For Jason, maybe they meet him when he tries to steal food from their stash? It's nothing malicious, just desperation from a kid who barely knows how to take from humans.

Cass is just... the Best Borrower. All of them are baffled by how well she can evade detection even in the most high-pressure, human-is-literally-one-move-from-seeing-you situations.

I realize that not every batfam member has a child/parent dynamic with Bruce, and I don't wanna change that, but it does complicate things. Like... am I gonna kill off Jim just so I can include Barbara??

Maybe 😏

sjsjdndkfgj NO. But we need the lonliness, we need the Angst. So at the very least, they've all been separated like Bruce and Alfred, and may see their loved ones again. Or you can imagine death, if you want that extra shot of pain lol

For Barbara, all I know for sure is I don't want to erase her disability. It'd be cool to see her design and create her own tools for mobility in a uniquely borrower way.

Also... Damian. Is borrower!Brutalia a thing?? Or is he adopted in this 'verse?

Either way, Damian is absolutely that borrower who carries a sewing needle/pin/whatever tiny sharp weapon is available. He is ready to stab.

Admittedly, I'm running out of steam, and my brain has yet to conjure anything specific about Duke, Steph, or Tim 😔

But no matter the specifics, or how the character dynamics exist in this world, they're undoubtedly a family. A dysfunctional, ever-growing family that Bruce does his best to lead. Sometimes he fucks up, of course, but he's fiercely protective, and all of them know that their safety is his top priority.

As the family grows, the moving becomes less frequent. It's difficult enough getting everyone to agree on finding a new place, nevermind the nightmare of packing. Plus, Bruce is pretty sure the kids are trying to wear him down.

So when they make what is likely to be their final move, they decide it ought to be a big one. In fact, they end up all the way over in Metropolis 👀

I'm gonna write a follow-up to this post some other other time, and we can talk about Clark's role in all this!

(also don't ask me how a bunch of teeny people can logically travel that far... just know my brain is rotating scenes from Mouse Movies like The Rescuers or American Tail where mice stow away on human transportation 😂)

[inhonoredglory]

ROTT: hot takes 🔥 (spoilers)

I wrote the following last Thursday, before my fandom life was waylaid by birthday shindigs for my sister and a weekend of migraines and nausea/fainting because of the COVID vaccine. I feel so out of touch w/ fandom but here’s my late but initial thoughts to ROTT if anyone’s interested LOL

––––––

DAMN SON.

DAMN.

I saw Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans last night. Before I launch into the fandom again, I’mma share my unfiltered thoughts.

ThAT oPEnING. HOLY SHIT. It was exhilarating. Seeing all of Tales of Arcadia rush past me in 3 minutes was awesomesauuuuuce.

but guYS GUYS lemme tell you the

✨✨ABSOLUTE✨✨

✨✨✨UTTER✨✨✨

✨✨✨✨✨HIGHLIGHT✨✨✨✨✨

✨✨✨✨✨✨of MY LIFE✨✨✨✨

////oh gODS////

hearing Douxie say in that deep, grave, convicted, voice:

❝ ｂｕｔ　ｔｈｅｙ　ｃａｎ　ｔａｋｅ　ｍｅ ❞

DOUXIE MY SELFLESS WIZARD BEAN. LIGHT OF MY LIFE. I’M DECEASED.

Because it’s scenes like this which convince me they KNOW that Selflessness Is His Thing. And that means so freaking much to me OH MY LORD.

Act 1 of ROTT was an absolute delight, let’s just say.

Men in Black!Krel

Nari!Douxie (i cANNot beLIEve THIs is a THING im in tears)

THE BARBARA/JIM REUNION!!!!!

A FREAKING STRICKLAKE ENGAGEMENT!!!!! Jim/Strickler relationship growth arc 😭😭😭

Y’ALL WE GOT JLAIRE SITTING ON A FLIPPIN’ RED ASS BED. This is the closest we’re gonna get to sex in a kid’s show.

NOT COUNTING OFC THE INSTA-STAJA-FAM CONCEPTION

should I be scared that GDT is reading the totally wack corners of mpreg AO3??!! 👀👀👀dude, like DUDE. that happened.

ELI GLOWUP !!!!! damn son u hot

also aja is such a Queen in this whole thing omg

I obvs can’t go scene by scene through this thing but––

Douxie and Nari in P A I N during the spellbreaking scene. that hurt my soul oh lordy. there must be art made

OK but then after this SHIT GETS VERY REAL. There’s a lot of Character Thematics/Arcs and Real Narrative shit I can get down into and stuff I want to think about because yEAH... wow, this movie Went There. And Back Again. (lOLJSKGSg)

I appreciate the deaths. I really do. But Strickler was a shock. Jim holding onto his mom and crying, overwhelmed with guilt, was the most Jim thing. The boy puts so much agony on himself. It’s his undoing. gAH POOR JIM.

CAN WE MAKE A NOTE THAT JIM’S RIBS WERE BROKEN/HURT throughout this entire thing??? 😭😭😭 HMmm? HMMMM!!! LOOK AT THE ANGST

Claire shadow-porting an eNTiRE TITAN. This girl is OFF THE CHARTS SJGHSBKGJMNFSBG

Nari’s death was emotional. Wow. She was being a Hero. Not running, like she said. That was a Power Growth and beautifully scored. Not to mention archie trapped forever?!!! Nooooo?!!!

They really want to take everything away from Douxie don’t they.

Jim getting Excalibur and leveling up with Akiridian armor was pRETTY SWEET. Especially ✨together✨. And everyone saying the Destiny speech. *tissues*

Act 3 finale babbaaayyyy.

CHILDREN OF THE SUN REDUX OMSKGJSGGMN HELL YEAHHHH

Jim realizing the amulet didn’t make. him a hero, HE DID. And that’s why the amulet chose him.

y’all I sobbed for tobes. that was powerful, painful, and moving. and y’know it was almost like this whole movie was an apology for treating toby like a comedic sidekick––and giving him the trollhunter mantle in the end.

like THEY VALIDATED JIM AND TOBY’s FRIENDSHIP and that cANnNOt be underestimated. Because friendship is almost ALWAYS knocked down the ladder of importance in the pantheon of human relationships, and ROTT said NO. Jim loves Toby so much that he’d change his own history and the history of the ENTIRE WORLD in order to get him back.

like, Jim, our sacrificial Hero. Deciding to truly be Atlas and take all the weight of What Could Have Been on his shoulders, because he cannot stand the losses that happened under his leadership.

this kiss tho. the absolute ANGUISH in the way jim presses himself to her face. gOD. THE PAIN. THE LOVE. THE “I LOVE YOU”

––––

The whole time travel twist tho. I’m kinda... not here for it?? Time travel is tricky to pull off and yeah, I think I’m in the camp that everyone’s character arcs (except Jim’s) have been retconned. It’s sad because people get connected to one another by the shared pains, joy, and experiences that brought them together, and now they’ve lost that.

But thematically and more importantly, why can’t the acceptance of death be validated? Sure, so many people dying was painful, but Let. It. Be. Painful. That’s life. TOA hasn’t shied away from dark things before. Toby and Strickler and Nomura and Nari (even Archie and Charlemagne) gave their lives; Toby became a Hero in the truest sense of the word. Let him do that, let that choice be his. In fact, it says a lot thematically about Jim’s hero complex that he cannot accept other people making heroic choices with tragic consequences. That it’s all on him. But with this ending, they do make it clear Jim’s need to be a hero is a driving obsession, and I appreciate the strength of his conviction on that identity for himself.

But the thing about retconning the anguish is that it’s telling us that bad consequences, tragedy, and loss are unacceptable in life. That just because Jim and his friends need 10 years of therapy, he should try to erase all that pain and give himself and his friends a “normal” life. No. Depression, loss, hurt... these help make us who we are; growth is about accepting them and using that pain to become better people, not invalidating them from our past.

*grumbles*

let’s be real tho: that ending was meta. it was like they were telling us fans that now WE can go create the Trollhunters we wanted to see, and fix all the things we thought went wrong. I think someone’s been reading a bunch of Trollhunter AU fics, no?

tl;dr ROTT creates more questions than it does answers and we need another show LMAO

[starcookiechu]

ROTT Review

SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE. You have been warned.

FYI: I just finished the movie. So my opinions may change a bit but here I am writing a full review.

Before I talk about the movie, I have to say this movie has fantastic animation. The music is as good as usual.

Ok now the story. Let’s start with the our Trollhunters.

Fair Lady Claire. My girlie Claire really brought her all into this. I’m really proud of the young woman she has grown up into. However for the sake of the plot and story they make her run out of magic juice quite a bit. But my girl is still the best and gives it her all.

Wingman Domzalski. I will be perfectly honest. Toby is kind of the annoying best friend at times and bothers me as a plus size person. (They really push the over eating thing to the point that it’s his biggest factor.) Toby is a very eager kid who is ready to get in the action. Never being negative to his friend but the best emotional support who will always be at his side. Sure Toby was used a bit as comedic relief in the movie but when push comes to shove, Toby will always be there to do the right thing.

Blinky is amazing as always. One of the best father figures out there.

Aarrrgh was there. Was great for the scenes he was in, but all together didn’t do much that altered the story.

Our Trollhunter, Jim Lake Jr. Someone I admire and basically see as my little brother/child. Kiddo really did it. I know everyone is upset that Jim’s arc was redone when we had the “Unbecoming” episode. If I could come to a peaceful middle ground, I saw we all need to blame Merlin. He really rocked Jim’s world and self worth. When the creator of the object you need to save the world with tells you “You’re not enough”, it really can be a great setback. But once we past that, Jim really pulled through. Amulet or not, he is our Trollhunter.

Mommy Dr. Lake was there. Barbara was mostly there for our emotions.

Dilf Strickler. I felt that he was changed a bit since we last saw him, but he had a new purpose. He was more cautious and happy because he had a chance at a happy life with Barbara. Which makes what happens to him more upsetting. 

Nomura my sweet. This movie did not deserve you. At least she was with Draal.

And Not-Enrique (seriously why didn’t they ever give him an actual name) just wasn’t in the movie.

How about some CreepSlayers?

BABY ELI PEPPERJACK CAME BACK LOOKING SO CUTE. So proud.

Bumbling knight oaf Steve the Palchuckian was great as usual.

I will say though. The whole pregnancy plot was just a way to get Eli and Steve out of the way. I could feel that the writers maybe didn’t like Steve so much since Wizards. But Steve was once again someone to laugh at. Pregnant and out of the way.

How about some Akiridions?

Aja my darling girl, oh how you’ve grown. I understand some think she has changed. However I must say that her preparing a plan B on the side was smart. She isn’t just a princess on earth anymore. She is a queen on a distant planet. So if she thought evacuation was best, it would ensure that everyone would live. And avoid losing more valuable people from her life. So no, I can’t blame her.

DJ Kleb was there. He was kinda doin his own thing and messing with Steve. Brother-in-law stuff.

It was good to see Varvatos Vex.

Stu was the man in the background working on the busy important things like working on the amulet. Personally I feel like the series REALLY underutilizes Stu A LOT so I was so happy to see him being a part of something huge.

And finally some Wizards.

Douxie my love, you were amazing as usual. His powers have grown greatly and have contributed to the adventure. But god the writers really do love to take everything away from him don’t they. It’s unfair.

Archie was kinda just there and just... I understand leaving Douxie but that doesn’t mean I like it.

Nari the sweetest. I can only imagine the guilt she felt to end Nomura. Her self sacrifice was probably the one in the movie most called for.

Alright now I’ll talk about the movie.

I can whole heartedly say this movie was rushed. To be honest I feel like the original writers weren’t completely in this. At least it felt kind of not so much Trollhunters or 3Below vibes but more Wizards, if that makes sense whatsoever. Something is off.

I just want to blame Merlin for everything. To hell with that guy.

The beginning sequence was great. A car chase to a moving train. Which ends up with Toby of course screwing up and breaking the brakes. Of course. The train falling off the tracks which ultimately ends up with Nari gone. Oh yeah, and video recordings of Magic, trolls and being taken in by the police. Great.

WHY TF WAS TOBY TELLING THEIR STORY TO THE POLICE. YOU DON’T MIX THE POLICE IN STORIES UNLESS YOU KNOW THE COP PERSONALLY. CUZ IT’S A MESS AND THE POLICE GET IN THE WAY. GDI TOBY.

Our heroes go back to base on the new and improved Camelot. Where we discover that Barbara and Strickler are now engaged. Happy news and would secure that Jim has another Father figure in his life and his mother’s happiness. Which explains Strickler’s “stay behind” advice. Now he has a family to watch over. He must be careful and warns that Jim’s actions could cost so much that he might not be able to afford.

Enters our Majesty Aja and the new stud on the block, Eli. Dang I wish puberty hit me like that.Truck-kun strikes again. And also enters... the pregnancy thing. I will say, I didn’t mind it too much... at first. But there are complications. Steve is too young to be a father and dang 7 kisses?? I can’t help but feel like Aja should have mentioned that or it was a last minute plan to write out Steve and Eli. (Which it was.) It was funny sure cuz omegaverse and ALIENS but all together it’s really iffy.

They really had Douxie preform a body-swap spell only so it would be undone. And undoing the spell only hurt them both?? C’mon. C’mon.

And they mention the Krohnisfere. We’ll get back to it. Jim gets a brand new amulet infused with Akaridion tech. However theres an issue. It was created by Merlin right? Who is a wizard right? Who uses MAGIC. Shame Douxie wasn’t there to help make it. Ya know. 1/2 of the original creator of the AMULET. So it’s missing a huge part and for the sake of the plot, Jim doesn’t test the Amulet which is out of character personally.

Toby makes a silly big deal over a penny. I was actually hoping they would make it a silly Chekhov's gun later on. But no, it’s just Toby being loud and comedic relief.

The titans are released and we visit a very pregnant Steve. Ok so it’s a rushed kind of thing. ok.

Aja suggests evacuation. You can say it’s out of character but we need context. When Aja helped in the Doomsday Battle, she was ensured a way out but if she let the people of Arcadia perish. She decided to stay and help. But now the Trollhunter himself can’t help. So to ensure the survival of everyone, evacuation. A best chance for everyone to survive. Plus she is now a Queen. She rules over a whole planet which must change her thinking.

Now our characters are split into 3 teams:

Blinky, Archie, Archie’s dad and Claire for the Krohnisfere.

Jim, Aja, Toby, Strickler and Barbara for the Glacial Titan.

Nomura, Douxie and Aarrgh for the Earth Titan.

Now here is where I have problems. WHY. DID. THEY. SEND. TROLLS. TO. BRAZIL. IN. THE. DAY. Nomura dying was just so out of pocket. Unnecessary. I couldn’t even grieve properly I didn’t have a chance to process. The best thought I could think was “At least she’s with Draal now.” 10 seconds later, Strickler makes the choice to sacrifice himself. Because of Jim’s heroic’s, Strickler decided to try to save the most important people in his life. The person who was always dishonest finally had a chance to live a happy life with his family. The one who played it safe now had to make the final impulsive move. And unfortunately, his death was in vain. These deaths were just so forced. It wasn’t in any way good. And Strickler being one of the best written characters just going in such a way was just off. He died for nothing. He could have turned back and fought another battle but... no.

(BTW Barbara was just there... for Strickler’s death.)

We move to Babara and Jim having a heart to heart. I’m glad she didn’t blame Jim but a small moment of anger. Something a little more real for me but no I guess. Barbara will always just be Jim’s mom. She mention’s Jim’s father and it passed so quickly I missed it on my initial viewing. I’m happy that Jim’s father is never revealed or made a bigger part in his story. This is good representation for those of us who did have our fathers walk out on us. That we can grow despite our parents failing us.

And finally team Krohnisfere. Archie just leaves. He’s gone. Poor Douxie. A mentor and now his closest companion.

Our heroes meet up to go against the Volcanic Titan. In comes Varvatos Vex on a Gun Robot. Nice to see some good ol Gundam with a character mentioned throughout the entire trilogy. However it doesn’t last. BTW for the sake of survival, Aja leaves Jim and Toby. Iffy.

Douxie pulls a “Jason stop. This isn’t you.” thing with Nari and is reunited with his friend.(+ points for the shippers. It’s kinda winning me over?) Also, Claire now has the power to teleport a Titan. I know she’s much stronger than she was for the Trollhunters Sn 2 finale, but cmon. You can’t just say she’s out of magic juice and then pull this. C’mon.

(btw did the titan make a War of the Worlds tripod sound? No? Just me?)

Nari sacrifices herself and takes the other god with her. Which takes away Douxie’s other companion. Mr. Stark I don’t feel so good. Why does this movie hate Douxie so much. (I am so sorry shippers. Angst.)

BLINKY DIDN’T SEE A PAGE? ADDRESSING IT IN THE SHOW DOESN’T GIVE YOU A PASS. I forgot the word but this irony isn’t greatttt.

Jim now has to pull out the legendary sword Excalibur. But he can’t cuz he hasn’t harnessed the power of friendship.

And Steve is giving birth. At the worst time. What is this a zombie movie??? C’mon.

Jim says “Magic is friendship” And Stu is finally being used for one grand act. Seriously Stu is just so unappreciated. So he fixes the amulet with magic.

Basically everyone who went on top of the Volcanic titan falls off at some point. Except Jim cuz of course some 1v1. 

ONCE AGAIN Claire is out of magic juice. Because... reasons.

Toby makes the choice to race to Jim’s side with the technology to cancel out magic. (Wait how does science stop magic again)

BTW, For the Good of all doesn’t hit as well BUT it’s not mentioning any glory towards stinky Merlin so I am happy with the change.

JIM HAS A NEW TRANSFORMATION. MY BOY. MY SON. I’M SO PROUD.

Toby races to Jim and his helmet falls off the taco truck. That honestly should have been a huge warning sign. I was worried he didn’t have armor but we know how this goes.

Jim defeats the final titan and everyone is happy. The fight is finally over.

STEVE HAS 7 KIDS. OUCH. 

Seeing Jim run to Toby was heartbreaking. Now this is the one scene where the movie really let out actually process a character’s death. How on earth can you process your best friend, your most faithful companion dying. Jim goes through too much I swear to god.

Now let’s discuss the time travel plot. I honestly feel like they pulled some kind of Attack on Titan ending. The main character burdened with knowing the future and what could have been. And if everything is meant to be how it will be, destiny will reconnect them again. (Jlaire reincarnation AU???)

I’m actually ok with this ending. I understand people would want the time stone to return only a few minutes. But even then, the kiddos still have police records, so many people dead at the titan’s hands (or feet) and now the world knows about the existence of trolls thanks to the internet. In New York no less. And people are still dead.

We return the the beginning of everything, reflecting the “Unbecoming” episode.

(NGL I’m bothered that they didn’t do anything to stop Steve from bullying Eli, but Jim can’t do it. He’s saving it for Toby.)

And now finally, let’s discuss Toby becoming the Trollhunter. From the beginning, Toby never considered himself good enough to be the main star. Always the wingman, the 2nd best. Support. Now it was Toby’s turn to climb the ranks and be the Hero he’s always wanted to be. It’s Jim’s turn to live an easier high school life. I don’t doubt that he won’t follow Toby. But now he knows what to avoid and how to make the story process more smoothly.

I understand some are unsatisfied with this ending, which is kinda trademarked with Dreamwork’s shows. I get it. But honestly as of right now, I think I like the ending.

The amulet didn’t choose Jim because this Jim is not the same Jim as in Sn 1 Ep 1. He is a new man. And I think we all can agree that it’s his turn to be happy.

---

I still love this series so much. It is my favorite cartoon. Of course it has it’s flaws, but this ending is at least satisfactory and not heartbreaking. Now it’s up to us to either continue the story or contribute our ideas in fanfiction. I look forward to everyone’s creations.

Don’t think. Become.

[oberlincollegelibraries]

Weekend Edition: Books on BLM Reading Lists

February is Black History Month, which was created by historian Carter G. Woodson in 1926 as "Negro History Week." Here are a few title suggestions, but if you'd like to find your own, try searching Google for "Black Lives Matter reading list" or check out Oberlin College Libraries' Anti-Racism Social Justice guide!

Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson

The founder of the Equal Justice Initiative in Montgomery, Alabama recounts his experiences as a lawyer working to assist those desperately in need, reflecting on his pursuit of the ideal of compassion in American justice.

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker: A Memoir In Essasys by Damon Young

For Damon Young, existing while Black is an extreme sport. The act of possessing black skin while searching for space to breathe in America is enough to induce a ceaseless state of angst where questions such as "How should I react here, as a professional black person?" and "Will this white person's potato salad kill me?" are forever relevant. What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker chronicles Young's efforts to survive while battling and making sense of the various neuroses his country has given him. It's a condition that's sometimes stretched to absurd limits, provoking the angst that made him question if he was any good at the "being straight" thing, as if his sexual orientation was something he could practice and get better at, like a crossover dribble move or knitting; creating the farce where, as a teen, he wished for a white person to call him a racial slur just so he could fight him and have a great story about it; and generating the surreality of watching gentrification transform his Pittsburgh neighborhood from predominantly Black to "Portlandia . . . but with Pierogies." And, at its most devastating, it provides him reason to believe that his mother would be alive today if she were white. From one of our most respected cultural observers, What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker is a hilarious and honest debut that is both a celebration of the idiosyncrasies and distinctions of Blackness and a critique of white supremacy and how we define masculinity

Colored No More: Reinventing Black Womanhood in Washington, D.C. by Treva B. Lindsey 

"This project examines New Negro womanhood in Washington, DC through various examples of African American women challenging white supremacy, intra-racial sexism, and heteropatriarchy. Treva Lindsey defines New Negro womanhood as a mosaic, authorial, and constitutive individual and collective identity inhabited by African American women seeking to transform themselves and their communities through demanding autonomy and equality for African American women. The New Negro woman invested in upending racial, gender, and class inequality and included race women, blues women, playwrights, domestics, teachers, mothers, sex workers, policy workers, beauticians, fortune tellers, suffragists, same-gender couples, artists, activists, and innovators. From these differing but interconnected African American women's spaces comes an urban, cultural history of the early twentieth century struggles for freedom and equality that marked the New Negro era in the nation's capital. Washington provided a unique space in which such a vision of equality could emerge and sustain. In the face of the continued pernicious effects of Jim Crow racism and perpetual and institutional racism and sexism, Lindsey demonstrates how African American women in Washington made significant strides towards a more equal and dynamic urban center. Witnessing the possibility of social and political change empowered New Negro women of Washington to struggle for the kind of city, nation, and world they envisioned in political, social, and cultural ways."--Provided by publisher

Blood At the Root: A Racial Cleansing In America by Patrick Phillips

"A gripping tale of racial cleansing in Forsyth County, Georgia and ... testament to the deep roots of racial violence in America ... Patrick Phillips breaks the century-long silence of his hometown and uncovers a history of racial terrorism that continues to shape America in the twenty-first century"-- Provided by publisher

The Early Black History Movement, Carter G. Woodson, and Lorenzo Johnston Greene by Pero Gaglo Dagbovie

The men who launched and shaped black studies This book examines the lives, work, and contributions of two of the most important figures of the early black history movement, Carter G. Woodson and Lorenzo Johnston Greene. Drawing on the two men's personal papers as well as the materials of the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History (ASNLH), Pero Gaglo Dagbovie probes the struggles, sacrifices, and achievements of these black history pioneers. The book offers the first major examination of Greene's life. Equally important, it also addresses a variety of issues pertaining to Woodson that other scholars have either overlooked or ignored, including his image in popular and scholarly writings and memory, the democratic approach of the ASNLH, and the pivotal role of women in the association.

[vloggerparker]

worst days || s.h

*this story is gender neutral!

↬ pairing(s): Steve Harrington x reader

↬ genre/warnings: light angst, fluff/comfort fic. it’s implied reader is depressed. S3 SPOILERS!

↬ word count: 1.4k

↬ synopsis: (y/n) had a rough day and needs their best friend Steve to make it all better

↬ a/n: for @melxoxo23 who commented “ANGST 17 PLEASE” w the prompt “if you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart” enjoy! <3 I really liked writing this!

Everybody had great days, good days, bad days, but it felt like only you got the worst days. Worst days classified as times when bad luck came on so strongly that it seemed the universe had passed on the populations bad karma to you to hold onto. On bad days you would wait and see what good you could make out of something so awful, but on worst days it was impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Recently all the universe has given you was worst days, starting the day after Dustin’s returned from camp. From there, things spiraled. Between being held hostage in an underground, secret Russian base, to losing Jim Hopper, there was only worst days.

And today was no exception. Working at the police station as the Hawkins’ new Chief of Police meant everyday you would be compared to Hop for whatever you did. That morning in particular, it was coming into work late due to over sleeping, then taking you best friend Steve to work, and that damn alarm clock with the dead batteries.

You walked through the doors of Hawkin’s Police Station with sweat along your hairline and bags under your eyes. Flo gave you a pitying stare as she handed you a case file. “Ms. Duley wants to speak with you about her neighbor’s boy that keeps stealing from her garden.”

“I’ll deal with it in a minute,” you tell the secretary, tucking the folder under your arm as you made way to your office.

An older woman sat opposite to your desk when you walked in, and you internally sighed at the sight. “Finally decide to come into work today?”

All you wanted was a quick five minutes to regulate your breathing and cool yourself off before handling anything that morning. It was the price you had to pay for showing up late for work, you supposed.

“Can you step out for just a sec? I have some… classified information I need to take care of first.” you gave the sorry excuse, hoping the woman would take the bait, but by the scowl on her face, she wasn’t budging. “I promise I will listen to your story, but I really do need to take care of this.”

Ms. Duley stood from her seat to leave, griping the entire way out of your office. “I thought having a new person in charge things would change around here… you’re no better than Hopper.”

That struck a nerve in you, and you’re yelling before you could comprehend what’s coming out. “Fine, take your stupid old lady problems somewhere else than! Because I don’t care!”

You plopped down into your office chair, and not even ten minutes passed before the office door flung open again. It was Officer Powell, and it’s hard to read the expression on his face, but you knew he was coming to deliver some news. He sat where Ms. Duley sat across from your desk, eyeing you carefully.

You covered your face with your hands, rubbing the tired from your eyes. “I- I’ll apologize to her, Cal. Just… in a minute.”

“Don’t worry about it.” he shrugged it off. “I'll talk to her for you, Chief, but right now we gotta respond to a call about a robbery.”

“This early?” you groaned, but followed behind Powell out of the office. “Who robs somebody in the morning in broad daylight?”

Powell offered to drive, but you declined, and in the next few minutes you find you should’ve just let him drive. Leaving the station, mind too preoccupied, you backed into an unseen light post.

You slapped the steering wheel with relentless strength as Powell just watched, eyebrow quirked. Once you settled, he asked, “feel better?”

“Never better.”

At the residence that called, there was nothing special that caught you eyes upon initially arriving other than the few people crowded outside the house. You figured they were the people who lived in the home, but then a black mask in one of their hands caught your eye. Your eyes swiveled to Powell now in the driver’s seat, sharing a look that tells you he’s seeing it all too, and you sigh dramatically and sink into your seat.

“It’s all a part of the job.” he says to comfort you, but you can hear the bitterness in his tone.

After finding that yes, the home invasion was a prank on the family by their teen son’s friends, you and Officer Powell headed back to the station. Ms. Duley had left by then, and so you went to your office and gave her a call to apologize. Despite her constant comparison of you to Hopper through the entire conversation, she loosened up enough to forgive you with the assurance she would be back the next morning if more of her flowers went missing.

Florence came into your office, a pitying expression she always wore around you on her face and a foot high stack of papers in her hand that she dropped off on your desk to read, document, and file. Crying felt like an immature response, but it was the only response you had.

“Thank you, Flo.” you kept your voice level and blinked away the tears welling in your eyes.

“Are you okay, dear?” she worried over you, and though she knew you were lying when you gave her a nod, she disappeared from your office as soon as she had arrived.

You took in a deep, shaky breath before diving in to your paperwork. It took all day, and even then you didn’t finish, and rather than taking it home to finish, you opted on leaving it for tomorrow. You wanted nothing more than to go home, but you had to pick up Steve from work because you dropped him off that morning.

When you pulled up outside of the video store, you didn’t bother going inside to meet with Steve how you normally did. From the second he got into the car, he automatically knew you had another worst day, and he couldn’t help but frown at your constant misery.

His hand comes to your thigh, giving it a squeeze. “You wanna talk about it?” when you shook your head and avoided all eye contact, Steve took the hint. “That’s okay. I, uh, can I bunk at your place?”

“Yeah.”

That single word response was the only thing you said the entire ride.

It wasn’t until you got home and pulled your keys out to unlock the front door when you really thought you were going to lose your cool. As you went to stick the key in the lock, the damned things slipped out your hand, rattling against the ground.

Steve stood behind you in confusion as you just stood there, and he peeked around your shoulder just in time to see a tear roll down your cheek. “Hey, are you okay?” he panicked, spinning you around by your shoulders so your front faced his.

You looked towards the sky in an effort to stop the tears from streaming down your face, a quivering sigh escaping your slightly parted lips as you said, “if you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”

“Okay, okay.” he whispered, crouching down to retrieve the keys and unlock the door, an arm around your shoulders as you both stepped through the door.

He guided you to the living room, free falling backwards into the couch, pulling you down with him by the waist. His hands readjusted, creating abstract shapes on your back with his fingers soothingly. Your hands made purchase on his shoulders, head rested on his chest as you cried softly, releasing the pent up tears from weeks of emotional exhaustion.

In Steve’s arms there was no fear, no loneliness, and only the beauty of being together. His arms wrapped around you brought a peace you never knew possible, the calm of a raging storm, each touch a taste of heaven. Steve’s embrace was the medicine you couldn’t buy in the store or get prescriptions for. It was the light in the darkness and the lone star in an otherwise empty sky.

“Thank you.” you said, barely audible.

Even on worst days the universe always seemed to prove you wrong. On bad days you would wait and see what good you could make out of something so awful, but on worst days, on all days, Steve was always the good.

↬ a/n: if you liked this, you should check out my other Steve fics on my masterlist!

[aintnouseofpretending]

Let’s sit by the fireplace...

Summary: You have been living with Brian for one and a half year. It has been the habit of you as a couple to ask how each other’s days after work. So when you can only answer to his with a sigh, he goes and makes you both a cup of hot chocolate.

Pairing: Mr M (Brian May) x Reader

Warning: Angst. FLUFF. Mention of throwing up.

Word Count: 5201.

Inspired by: Friends Will Be Friends. Spread Your Wings. Keep Passing The Open Windows.

Dedicated to: Those who need the kindest of words, the highest of spirit, and the softest of reassurance. Do not give up. It’s okay to fall, so long you get back up again. You are important.

Perma-tag: @ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark

+—-—+—-—+—-—+—-—+—-—+

You’re home from work, three hours early due to some trouble in the workplace. It’s three pm, so there’ll be plenty of times before Brian is home. The flat you share with him is not big, but enough for the two of you. One master bedroom, two bathrooms, a huge living room plus kitchen, and a second bedroom that was turned into an office. Feels quite too much actually, if you’re by yourself.

It’s quite the surprise when he suddenly asks if you want to start living with him since your flat isn’t that far away from his. Apart from the fact that he shares it with Roger. Not just curious, you could smell there’s something more to it, but he simply shrugs and answered; “We have been together for a year. Freddie and Jim moved in together when they’re barely six months dating.”

“And?” You play with his curls, trying to untangle them as he sits on the carpet, tuning his guitar. “Jim's flat is in Glasgow, Freddie’s in London.”

“Precisely! You see, mathematically speaking—.”

“Oh shut up with your made up Algebra formulas!” You laugh and undo your hard work on his hair as you stand up. At first, all in your mind was to make some more tea, but Brian grabs your wrist and pull you down, have you landed on his lap, traps you in his hug.

“God, Romeo! Just a moment please?”

“I'm not letting go!” At least that’s what you thought you heard, quite hard to decipher what he says when he buries his face on your shoulder and your back whilst also kissing them. “Alright, but promise to move and live with me next month, yeah?”

“Next month?!” You still laugh, trying to open the lock that is his hands, keeping you seated on the throne he has prepared you; his thighs. “And how do we find a place to live in a month, Dr May? One, we both need an office for ourselves; you with your computers and instruments, and me with my computers and books. It’s massive! Not to mention, point two—.”

Well, you guess that’s one way to shut you up. He kisses you in his embrace, not letting go for quite a long time to the point you have to tickle him to get off of him. You manage to get away both from him and that topic that day. But Brian makes sure he mentions it every single time you see him, subtly or not so subtly. The flat you both currently living in was his promise that you will not be troubled by his request.

If you're completely honest, you feel quite the opposite about his demand—you wish to be the one giving surprises instead of him, despite being extremely happy when you’re the receiving end. You want to be the initiator for a step forward. He has done so many things to you and you love him for it. In exchange, after getting all the boxes finally moved to the new flat, you diligently unpack yours and his. Decorates the house the way you both like it; simple and cosy. And as a techie, it doesn't take you long to turn both your and his vision of the shared technological-heaven office into reality. Knowing he’s also busy, he doesn’t mind, and even grateful for it.

"You're just amazing." He pulled you into a hug. "I love you. We will do great things together."

"Together." You confirmed, kissing the love of your life.

That was one and a half year ago. How happy moments, some of the sad, even big fights, all happened in that flat. Without him here, there's an empty coldness that makes you bites your lower lips. This is one reason you don't really like about living in a bigger place, why you hesitate in the first place. The feelings of when you're alone are too much. And right now, it might breaks you.

"Now. Before Brian is back. Before Brian is back." A piece of advice to yourself as you let the emptiness wraps you. You close your eyes, letting the tears fall down to your cheeks and your breath shortens. Easy to do it when there’s nothing but silence in the cold, dark room.

It should not a big of a deal, but damn, such a huge blow you must take and endure. Your experience shouldn't have you stay jobless for too long. That’s not the point, though. You’re still in denial. It’s simply far too unpredictable. It’s not about the fact that you’re jobless—the fact that you’re fired still baffles you. The level of professionalism you have presented, the amount of responsibility you personally accounted for. You sacrifice yourself, and they just throw you away? As if you’re not disgraced enough, you have to take all of that for a newbie that was barely fourth the time you have been in the company?

You know you don’t have any issue with emotion before. But the building anger in you already makes your fist shaking, head pounds, and body warmer. You just want to hit something. You just want to scream. But you can’t, you’ll alert your neighbours. And you’re glad the logic in you still work, it helps you to quickly prevented it. A sudden call from Brian put a pause to your break down.

“Yes, dear?”

“Hi, love—are you alright? You sounded a little bit out of breath?”

“Ah, don’t worry about it. I was just very focused on something, your call surprised me out of it, that’s all. On the other hand, you sounded cheerful. May I know the reason?”

“It’s a bloody incredible thing! I really wish I could tell you now, but unfortunately, I will be home late because of it. We have found something and it might help us take big progress—.”

You chuckle at the irony. Something mind-blowing happening at your love’s workplace, and there you, sitting on the cold hard ground. You can’t be mad at Brian, he doesn’t know what’s happening with you and your lie doesn’t help; he might think you’re still at work too, coding and working for the big project. The project that has you booted out of the company. Instead of anger, hearing his jolly voice melts the stress in you a significant amount.

“My, Bri, you couldn’t just message me?” You still laugh at his enthusiasm, you even could hear him jumping. “Shall we celebrate it, then? Tonight? How about a bottle of champagne?”

“I will bring one home!” He answered brightly. “But I just really want to hear your voice. Am I bothering you?”

“Love, don’t ever think you’re bothering me, okay? I would like to hear your voice too now that I think about it, so thank you for calling me.” There’s a smile on your lips, warmness in your heart, but tears still flow. You wish to touch him, to hug him in your moment of need. “Now, you should go back to do the incredible things. Don’t forget to tell me everything later!”

“It is a promise I will never break! Can’t wait to see you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The phone is still on your ear, but the silence was the only noise left from it. You really want to hear his voice again. Checking the clock, it’s barely four pm, and Brian always backs home two hours later than you. You’re hopeful the earliest he can be home tonight will be ten pm, so It’ll be the longest and most agonizing six hours of your life. And you don’t want to ruin Brian’s day, not when he’s this happy. There’s plenty of time left and seeing your flat, cleaning them again will surely take time, despite you have made most of the room spotless last week. But you’ve got to find a way to get rid of your negative emotion first, for now, and you happen to be very hungry.

“Please tell me beforehand if you want to eat this. - Bri”

It’s the note you found on the Hazardous Choco-Blackhole ice cream tub in the refrigerator. The ice cream is your favourite. You must’ve forgotten to stock up yours—hence the note, and you’re too hungry to go out and buy your own. The recipes require zero uncertainty, three teaspoons of; “Brian would understand if I explain to him that I was too hungry to cook,” and five big spoonfuls of guilt; you take the ice cream tube out in an instant. You scoop out a big amount of the delicious organic ice cream and put it in a bowl, pour a strawberry and vanilla sauce on top, and no matter how much you know you will regret the stomachache that might come later tonight; you give the last touch of condensed chocolate milk, finishing the perfect dessert that wholly screams I’m sad and sweet things make me happy.

“It always makes me happy.” You whispered to yourself as you put the spoon in your mouth whilst sitting down on the sofa. There are reasons why you put up your weight when facing your first challenge in the company as a new employee. That’s also why it’s Brian’s favourite flavour as well. When big fights with him never faze you, he bound to look for the secret behind it and try it out himself. Then it became one of the magic potions, the prerequisites for starting a civil conversation or mediation besides hot chocolate; your chocolate ice cream addiction equivalent for Brian.

As you eat, you think again about what happened. The whole situation still didn’t make sense even if you factor in your boss’s strict policy and disappointment in your failure. This was the first time, so no way in hell she’s the one that has you fired, not after all your achievements for the company. Practically ignoring your four years experience in the field, your expertise in three computer languages, and your bloody involvement with the algorithm that you created. You know you fried the server, but that’s to stop the catastrophe that is having your clients data stolen. You did what was necessary. Remembering how the project supervisor can’t even look you in the eyes after the meeting, boils your blood. They still fire you without giving you a chance to defend your position.

You almost break the bowl after seeing the pictures of you with your coworkers. Some who don’t care about you getting fired. Wonder how you didn’t see it when you’re getting the ice cream out. Maybe after hearing Brian’s happy voice helps you ignore them.

You missed him already, but you barely started the cleaning. You’ve called it too, it’s torturously long and painful to patiently wait for him. And cleaning doesn’t require much thinking, so all the time you’re wiping the tables, chairs, changing sheets, doing laundry, your mind is rummaging your memories, perhaps one that points how the head departments don’t see you too kindly. Or maybe your beef with the newbie reach your boss’s ear. It’s not even a beef when the newbie somehow got hired anyway despite being the worse intern that doubles your team workload.

“Because he’s the chief’s grandson.” Your coworker says. “He’s untouched from this incident, I have to say—are you doing laundry right now? If yes, you need to fix the drier real quick or it’ll burn your house down.”

“No. I’m taking the trash out.” You huffed. When you get back in, your neighbours warily return your polite smile. “I don’t need your sympathy. I need an objective view from someone else eyes. Have I done something unpleasant to him? To anyone? To the higher ups?”

“Honey, if you do, you think I would shut my mouth about it?” He laughs, “no, and yes. I need you here. I was ordered to replace you and I got zero clues about the overall plan that was mapped in your mind. So if you would so kindly send it through E-mail?”

You check the clock. It’s seven. Make sense if Peter is still at work especially if he’s the one to replace you.

“No, actually. I’m not the one to replace you legit. It’s James. But I figure you will never send the blueprint to him after the bullshits he pulled. And if you really need someone else perspective, you can ask George or El. I can tell you everything, but I don’t want you to hate me—.”

There. You knew it. It’s not just the project. It’s not just your conflict with James. You can’t even take your own best friend to tell you what you did wrong. You’re not that angry anymore, so you don’t know what on earth is going on with you. It’s plain and clear you’re very competitive, but it’s simply hard to just accept the small fool is the one that sits on your seat now. What have you done? Are you the foolish one all along? That realisation have you lose your footing and energy, almost send you down the flight of the flat stairs.

“Are you okay, miss?” Ask the kind grandma downstairs as she locks her door.

“A-okay, ma’am. Simply miscounted. Have a good day!” Before you could even start climbing the stairs again, Louis is calling you. You turn off the call and quickly message him that you’ll send the plan to him, soon-ish, only after he promises he will help you retain your rights on the algorithm you practically created from scratch. After everything you’ve been through, you’re not going to lose everything.

Alright... But you should really listen to us when we’re still willing to help you.

Your legs are shaking, keeping you from falling down again as you close your flat’s door. It’s terrifying to finally notice you have always been the problem. Big enough problem. Or do you? You’re not sure anymore. The racing mind doesn’t help you hold your ground, nor giving you the chance to hold onto your logic and rationale tightly, it’s long gone. This is it. Before you’re still in denial, but now you’re breaking apart entirely. It’s sadness, emptiness, anger, every sort of negative emotions mixing together much like a raging whirlwind; instead of screaming it out, you only wish you can find a hole where you can try to untangle your thoughts and emotions. The way you untangle Brian’s curl.

Brian... You question how Brian can stick with you for so long. Perhaps you’re not as annoying when you’re with him? You’re not showing your competitive side that much towards him? You have been egoistic or unreasonable, that obviously comes from the bad side of yours. How long will it last? Will he leave you once he sees the entirety of it? What would he think of you? Always wish to outdo everything and everyone, what else is it if not from being narcissistic? Are you narcissistic? Considering it gets you fired. How come... You’re petrified of the thought that you will be the cause—no, you’re the cause of many Brian’s sadness and anger. And you will cause more if you don’t try to change.

Can you?

Can you change? Aren’t you too egoistic to do it? You wish to fight back the bad thoughts, but they’re saying truths. You are bad. You make those mistakes. And so far, you’re absolutely aware, several times, that you have considered having such characteristic will risk you worse consequence than the good. And up until now, you’ve always paid it no second thought. It’s just how you are. Back when you’re still insecure, perhaps you need it to rise above the water. But now? Would there still be chances? Must you put Brian through it? Does Brian even deserve it?

You gasped in shock when your phone ringed. Brian is calling you, and shoot, it’s already eight. You cut his call and quickly messaged him, saying you’re in the bathroom. He confirmed swiftly that he isn’t trying to tell you something that urgently then adds that he might be home as late as ten, as soon as half-past nine. With a bottle of champagne of course, and anything else you want that he can get his hand to.

It’s already this late, love. Just be home safe, I will be waiting! Love you! :) :)

He sends you a video of him by his work desk, wearing his dorky eyeglasses saying I love you as he smiles widely. Giving you his typical quick fun blinking eyes before the video ends. Your shaky thumb almost accidentally clicked on “record a video” button when you try to send him heart emojis. No, it will destroy his day if he sees you like this. Crying your heart out as your sobs becoming louder the more you reply the video he sent you. You practically hugs your feet, scream on your knee, getting the emotions out as fast as you can. You wouldn’t allow Brian to see this. This is your problem. Shitshow Brian doesn’t have to go through. Not today, not ever.

“Okay. I’m fine. I’m fine.” You whispered between your whimpers. Hands still shaking as you try to wipe the tears. You put away your phone, mind still rushing but the thought to at least protect Brian’s happiness today give you a space to think.

Slowly getting up, you start planning on what should you do before he’s back. You haven’t properly cleaned yourself, especially after cleaning the house. You also think you can still make it to nearby Farmers Market to buy some ingredients and stock up on groceries. Yes! At least the shit part of you that loves to compete can be used against itself as you try to outdo it. You’re thankful too for working on that bastard’s company, he might get you booted, but you still gain skills whilst you still working there. One of them is to keep your calm despite the time pressure, which you really need right now.

“His favourite vegetarian dish. A bit of scented candle. Wearing the black shirt that he likes so much. Perfume...” You take another look at yourself in the mirror. Although your lips keep repeating some leftover things you still got to do, your mind is busy memorising something else. Brian’s attention to details is something no one can joke about. It’s horrifying how he can see that you’re doing your hair the same way you did on the first couple of dates two years ago, even you don’t remember. Well, he still keeping the photographs of those dates, but it’s beside the point. That reason is exactly why you’re doing more effort covering your puffy eyes from crying, and to make sure to have his eyes looking at your lips instead as you apply a red matte lipstick.

As you tidy up the tablecloth and checking the slow cooker, you can hear Brian’s key’s jiggling from just outside the door. Before you could even take off the oven mitt that you wore, his incredibly messy hair already poking in the doorway. A smile quickly grows as your figure being busy in the kitchen comes into his vision.

“Welcome home, doctor May!” You exclaimed a bit too brightly. “How’s your day?”

“Don’t hug me! I’m still dirty and stink—.” He happily returns the surprise kiss you gave him. “I will take a quick shower before we start, yeah? Oh, the champagne!”

He gave you one last kiss on your cheek before he skips to the bathroom. You submerged the champagne in a bucket full of ice you have prepared on the chair near the dinner table. And he indeed said quick shower; by the time you’re done laying down all the foods on the table, he’s already outside the steaming bathroom, wearing a white t-shirt and shorts.

“I feel a bit underdressed.” He chuckled as you hug him tight, to which he quickly buries his face on your shoulder. “There’s still time for me to match our dress code today, right?”

“Absolutely. Foods’ still sizzling. But I’m fine too having dinner with Brian in pyjamas.” He yelped and laugh when you grab his bottom before he goes to the bedroom to change. Being near him calms you greatly, suddenly everything is alright again and you feel like crying. Not from the sadness, but from the happiness he brings to you from his presence alone.

“Something wrong with the candle?” Brian’s already seated across from you, getting ready with the dinner. He also wore a long-sleeves shirt of your favourite colour, and—the one that makes you snickered—he adds a black tie to match your shirt. You could tell he tries to comb his hair from how puffy and unruly it has become.

“Ah, nothing much. I thought I bought the wrong one, turned out I didn’t. But that’s not important! I’m starving for the foods and your promise! Come! What happened at work?”

You’re grateful he’s already gone enthusiastically explaining about the new space matter that he detected with his team, completely forgotten your lack of energy. Even you almost forget your earlier meltdown from how well the dinner goes. How you’re reminded of it again when Brian apologizes he can’t sleep late tonight for a film because tomorrow he has to go back work early. So as you do the dishes and he prepares the champagne and the fireplace for the sudden cold weather, your mind is back to questioning what you did wrong, why you did the wrong things, why are you so bad? Going down the spiralling negative thoughts.

“I’m so selfish!” Brian exclaimed near you. “It completely escaped my mind! How’s your day, dear? Was it just as fun?”

His hands slither in your stomach, hugging you from behind as he rests his chin on your shoulder. But you’re too busy freezing up, trying to find the right answer without lying even more to him today. You don’t want to lie anymore, but the only answer that came out of your lips was a deep long sigh. Refusing to return his look when he stands by your side to see your face, still embracing you.

That’s it. You have ruined his night. He left you doing the dishes in peace whilst he’s rummaging the refrigerator, perhaps looking for his desert that you ate. Giving him more clues that your day is on the dirt compared to his that was in space amongst the stars.

It’s the usual things when you’re in a bad mood, he will leave you alone until you can tell him how you’re feeling. You know he knows you’re emotionally wrecked. And if he keeps pushing you when you’re in such state, things won’t go well. Nothing goes well. And everything is always on you. Your knees grow weak when the realisation hits you the second time. Good thing you’re done with the dishes. You’re too ashamed to look for Brian. You’re too ashamed to be in the same room as him, the same flat. You just want to be alone. You’re too vulnerable, you don’t want to bring Brian down with you. Not the man you love.

“Love. You’re not okay.” Brian comes to you, touching your arm. You haven’t noticed that you have been leaning on the kitchen counter this whole time. You glance at his worried face. 

You can only smile and nod.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to tell me.” He hugs you, kissing your forehead deeply. “Come. Let’s sit by the fireplace. You need to rest. It’s been a long day.”

He leads you to the now bright fireplace. To your surprise, when you’re busy being the prisoner of your bad thoughts, he has prepared some pillows and blankets. And to top it all, two steamy hot chocolates on the coffee table, plus some deserts. When you sit down, he quickly sat by your side and offering space on his lap for you to rest. You stare at him teary-eyed, to which he returned with a smile and a couple of blinking eyes.

“You’re not alone, y/n.” He softly whispered as you laid on his chest, letting him hugging you tight. “If you can’t say anything, can I at least be there with you?”

You still can’t utter a single word. You’re afraid you might break down into a sobbing mess once again if you do. So you simply sit there as you calm yourself down. And Brian being the understanding boyfriend you’re extremely grateful to have, cannot stop kissing your head. He sat there, rubbing your hand with his thumb.

“I heard from Mrs Thompson that you fell on the stairs. If you don’t feel well, you should take a day off tomorrow.”

“I wouldn’t have to go at all tomorrow. Or the day after that, or forever.” You can finally talk, despite it sounded shaky. “They fired me.”

“Because of the James lad?”

“And because of myself.”

He hugs you even tighter, grabbing your hand and kissing it.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Bri. Why do I love to be better without acknowledging the consequence of my actions? Leading me to my own failure. Dragging people down with me and still being blind to it.”

When the weep escapes you, Brian put his face on your shoulder. Clinging into you so very closely.

“Why am I like this, Bri? Why am I so egoistic? So selfish? Being a goddamn mistake? I am so fucking narcissistic that I can’t even listen to Louis trying to help me?”

Your boyfriend starts whispering words as he keeps kissing your shoulder.

“I’m afraid I might hurt you too, love...”

“No, you’re not. Listen, y/n.” He pushes you away only to softly place both his hands on your cheeks. His hazel eyes are sharp, looking straight through you. “You make mistakes. You might fail. But you are not a failure. You’re a fighter. A warrior. For almost three years we have been together, not once did I think of leaving you. Not once did I think that you’re worthless. You’re far from being selfish. You stand up on your own without my help or anyone’s help. It’s only natural for us human to wish to be better.”

Seeing your sad face, holding back your tears and bitting down your sobs, breaks his heart. He showers your face with kisses as he repetitively says he loves you so much. And his effort to gain your trust finally tearing down the wall that keeps all your feelings and thoughts in hidden. You tell him everything that worries you. How your ego blinds you from your flaws all this time. That it was all just your narcissistic tendency fueling your journey as a computer scientist. James perhaps an actual arsehole, but you’re just as low as him. Living in your own fairy tale world, thinking you’re the honourable knights, only to find out you’re one of the Orcs.

“One hell of a beautiful Orc I won’t think twice to marry. The kindest, bravest Orc I have ever met. The one and only Orc I will love forever. The strongest Orc Knight that has got me through so many hard times. Helps me in so many difficult situations. The most honourable Orc Knight I will forever look up to.” Brian counters every negative word that brings you down with his encouraging one. Doesn’t stop until you have no more upsetting thoughts about yourself that you can escape your mouth. The silence of the night with only the sound of the crackling fire and you, snivelling in his embrace.

“Thirsty?” Ask Brian once you no longer make any sound. When you try to get up and reach for the mug of now room temperature choco beverage, he shakes his head. “Sit. You have done enough for today. Do you think I didn’t see the house is dustless?”

“Brian.” He looks at you with worried eyes as you grab his arm. “Thank you so much, love. I feel much better.”

He kneeled close to you as he kisses your forehead before he lovingly stares at your eyes.

“Anything for you, y/n. Anything.”

After telling Brian to stay safe and kiss him good luck, he keeps turning his head back and waving at you. You laugh and make a hand gesture advising him to quickly leave or he’ll be late.

Last night, after your multiple break downs and being comforted by Brian, you two enjoy some sweets before sleep. You did get the stomachache later in the morning which makes you a bit angry at yourself and a bit embarrassed—Brian gets intensely worried and panicking when you suddenly ran to the toilet. When he thought you might be very sick, or something better; pregnant, despite you’re very disciplined taking your pills, turns out you’re sick from all the sweets you consumed yesterday.

“I need to find another way to cope with emotionally wrecking situations.” You sighed as you sit beside the toilet. “I’m getting old, my stomach can’t handle it anymore. There goes all the fancy dinner and champagne from last night.”

“A new way to cope?” Brian crouching near you. “How about talking with me? With tea or chocolate?”

You smiled at him.

“The same goes for you too, love. If anything ever worries you—.”

“I have been doing that, dear. And every time, you helped me get through it.” He grabs your hand and squeezes it. “Can you stand? I will take the medicine.”

He refuses to leave you until he’s sure you’re alright, completely dismissing your attempt to trivialise it despite the fact that you throw up again. When you’re finally well, he’s almost late to work, and you have to persuade him that you’ll keep him up-to-date with your condition every two hours tick, late is not tolerated. You really want to use that against him, but you simply shake your head to that thought and his overprotective tendency.

“Thanks for the plan. About the due credit, James tried to remove your name entirely, but Catrina defended you. I literally try to help her but she gives a better presentation than I did. She will personally keep the project going and even get you to partner with us. I guess that’s a spoiler... But she will ask you for a dinner around next week to discuss it.”

“Thanks, Louis, for everything. I wish you the best luck working under James.”

“Ha ha ha. Actually...”

Some of your team would rather back down and risk getting fired than to work with the incompetent James. Louis, again, spoil that your team will ask you for a dinner next week and consult on you both about that topic and the topic of working together as an independent team. Which give you a warming realisation that they don’t abandon you, your negative mind simply think so because they didn’t defend you when you’re fired—they can’t, not even your supervisor, Catrina, can stop the decision.

After messaging Brian about your condition, there is one thought that flies about your mind. It’s most likely that you’ll get a job soon, and you think you can pull it off right when you tell Brian about your new job. You get up from the sofa goes to your office. You open your CPU and pulled a small box you hid in it; engagement rings. For sure Brian already suspects something when you ask him if the fake plastic ring “you just bought” fits his skinny fingers; you reason you ordered it online only to found out you’re “tricked”. You hoped to add another dinner plan next week, just for the two of you, and to make it sound natural.

But for now, you’re grateful Brian is there. And you promised him you will give him everything you can.

End.

[carlottastudios]

Do you guys remember a long long long ass time ago when I made posts about an original series idea of mine called Dawnlyte? Well, Dawnlyte is not the only original series I'm planning. This one, oh boy, this one is one I'm been INTENSELY planning and putting thought and work into for the past few months. Like Dawnlyte, this is an idea that's been in my mind for years now (not as many as Dawnlyte, but still quite a few), and now I finally feel ready to post something about it. Peoples, I present you my first ever post about Fabler! Unlike Dawnlyte, which is high fantasy like Lord of the Rings or The Dragon Prince, Fabler is an urban fantasy series like Harry Potter, Dresden Files and Spiderwick Chronicles. This series in particular is very much inspired by Harry Potter, but with way less of a focus on school and way more focus on how fun magic can be. Also, whereas Harry Potter has plenty of witches and wizards, Fabler follows a logic much more akin to The Wizard of Oz, because there are plenty of witches and, so far, only 1 wizard. Also, there's quite a bit of mythology showing up in Fabler as well, particularly a certain character whom I've been wanting to write in a sympathetic light for ages now and now I finally can! That's all I'll say for now here, but if you guys have any and all questions about the series, feel free to ask them and I'll try to answer without giving away too many spoilers. Also, I'll try to post more Fabler content in the future that can answer some of those questions (or create more questions). But now getting to these particular posts. Very recently, I've finally been able to establish the very basic plot for the main story of Fabler and, thus, I was able to determine all of the characters who'll come into play. At least, all of the characters who have enough of a role to merit a name. And when I finally got my list of named characters, I decided to do something Ive been longing to do since I discovered @thenamelessdoll​'s crossover To Belong series: make my own Non/Disney Crossover cast for my own story. And so that's what I did here! I got my whole list of named Fabler characters and, after much searching and deliberating, decided on which 2D animated Disney or very-similar-to-Disney character would "play" as them if I were ever to make a Non/Disney Crossover series of videos for Fabler (which I will tell you now I will probably never do as I don't have the right programs for making Non/Disney Crossover edits, not to mention my talents lie more in writing and drawing, not video editing). And now, I think I might as well explain some of the reasons for my casting choices! Why? Because I can and because I am SOOO excited to finally be talking about Fabler!

Kayley as Tarina: This was the first ever casting choice and it was one I've had right from the beginning, pretty much since I came up with Tarina. Tarina is the main character and I kinda based her on Kayley in a few ways. And not just her appearance, I swear. Because yes, Tarina is supposed to look like Kayley in terms of character design. Also, Kayley was one of my favourite characters ever growing up and I believe she deserves more attention. So I'm putting her in the spotlight here by having her play the role of my main girl Tarina! Kida as Kat: Kat was more challenging to cast. I was thinking of having her played by Audrey, since both are pretty tough girls. But Kat's not super rough the way Audrey comes off as being. So I wanted someone a bit more gentle and easily approachable. Oddly, the badass warrior princess who can wield spears and knives kinda fits that more. Also, Kat isn't actually a total tomboy and I felt casting Audrey as her would give off that impression. Also, both Kida and Kat have names that start with K and both of them are lovely ladies with long white hair. So that lines up! Belle as Celeste: Celeste is kind of the opposite of Kat in that you might think at first that she's a total girly girl, but she's not, and the wrong cast choice would've given off that impression. Yes, Celeste is very feminine and beautiful and refined and classy, like Belle. She's also very mature like Belle. Also, she tends to be one of the more responsible people in a group of friends, similar to Hermoine (whose actress also played as Belle in the Live Action Disney version there's another connection). Basically, Belle was my dream choice as the casting choice for Celeste! Mulan as Neva: Mulan was actually my very first choice for Neva, because their stories are actually really similar. Unlike the three previous girls, Neva is not a witch, so when she arrives into the story, she's a complete noob and she's going to need some help before she becomes a badass. Mulan's been there and done that! Also, I just love Mulan as a character and really wanted to include her in my lineup. She also resembles Neva in part because Neva is one of the few girls to have sleek short hair. Also, Mulan's fun personality matches well with my happy darling Neva. Eilonwy as Peah: Peah is one of the younger characters in the story, just as Eilonwy is one of the younger female Disney heroes. Aside from that, both of them have this sort of determined and kind of commanding air to them that only brave little girls can exhibit in their particular style. Both are young, but they're not to be messed with. Also, they're both not really the sort to stand aside while the action is going on. Peah is young, yes, but she's more capable than others expect, and I feel that Eilonwy has the right vibe for that. Jasmine as Ashley: Now this is the tomboy of the group! And I'm having Jasmine play as her instead of someone like Audrey. Why? Well, Jasmine's just way more fiery in my eyes. And "fiery" is what Ashley is. In more ways than one. Also, Jasmine used to be my favourite Disney princess and I still really love her, so I wanted to give her a nice role in my cast. Strangely though, Jasmine and Ashley have very different backstories. Jasmine is a princess while as Ashley is one of the furthest people from princess status as you can get. It's ironic, but oddly, I find it weirdly works. Crysta as Thistlemoth: Now, I haven't actually seen the movie where Crysta is from, but I've seen her in Non/Disney Crossover videos quite a few times. And her design of being a fairy or pixie or whatever is so perfectly similar to Thistlemoth (who is indeed a pixie) that denying this casting choice would've been sheer madness. Of course, by that logic, I probably could've gone with Tinkerbell too, but Tinkerbell's personality is VERY different from sweet, crazy Thistlemoth. Plus, Crysta's more "wild" looks are more in line with what Thistlemoth looks like. Sarah as Bianca: Like with Crysta as Thistlemoth, I haven't seen the movie where Sarah is from. I've only seen Sarah in Non/Disney Crossover videos. In all honesty, I don't have super-good reason for this choice of casting aside from looks. Sarah does look similar to what I want Bianca to look like. Only with a snake tail instead of legs. Yup. That's right. Bianca is a naga. I have nagas in my story. Also, another reason I admit I chose Sarah is because, from the Non/Disney videos I've seen her in, some of her mannerisms are kind of in line with Bianca too. Meg as Lilith: Yes, you read that name right. I have Lilith, the actual first woman and Adam's first wife, in my story. No, she is not the character I've been wanting to write for ages. Anyway, about the casting, Meg's mannerisms and personality are really in line with my version of Lilith. Lilith even has a pretty sad backstory that's sort of similar to Meg's. I won't explain it here because that is spoiler territory. Their looks are rather different though. Lilith's more similar to Jasmine, who was actually cast as Lilith before I realized Meg was a much better fit. Cinderella as Ericaine: You've probably noticed that this is a bit of a last-minute change. At first, Ariel was in the role of Ericaine, much to my reluctance. But, honestly, her personality and looks and mannerisms are really different from Ericaine. So why had I initially considered her? Because I had previously cast Cinderella as someone else. But now, I'm using Cinderella because her looks match up very well with Ericaine, as do her actions, and I like putting her in the spotlight more than Ariel! Ericaine isn't nearly as sweet as Cindy, though. She's more...temperamental. Ariel as Eir: You've probably guessed that I'm not the biggest Ariel fan. I'm not. And I confess I fought tooth and nail to not have to include her in my cast. But, in the end, ya gotta do what you gotta do. At least now, as Eir, she's in a much more suitable role. Eir is funloving and adventurous, much like Ariel, so that lines up great for me to use Ariel as her. There's also a bit of a connection when it comes to a male character that I might explain later, or maybe not. Feel free to ask me about it though. Melody as Raven: I was originally going to have Shanti as Raven, but, seriously, Melody and her story and personality just line up SO MUCH BETTER! If I explain it here, it's going to be spoilers-a-plenty, but I'll just say that when you think about it, it's seriously perfect. Raven is different looks-wise (I'm actually thinking that she's blond instead of...well, raven-haired), but Melody's just got the right attitude and actions for her. As you might've guessed, Raven is another pretty young character. I think she's actually even younger than Peah, but I'll have to check my notes again. Jim as Lucifer: YES! This is the character I've been wanting to write for so long!!! Because the devil has been treated as little more than a scapegoat for millennia and I want to write a story where he's actually a nice, sympathetic guy. Yes, I know the show Lucifer is already doing that, but I want to do it my own way. And Jim was always my first casting choice. Because 1) I'm a huge JimxKayley shipper, 2) Jim was one of my heroes growing up, and 3) the angst-ball teenager who grows into a capable young man is exactly what I need for my version of the devil! Aladdin as Rory: This was one of the easiest cast choices ever. Not because Rory is a street urchin who ends up finding a genie, but because Rory is a sweet fluffy supposed-orphan boy who is a beam of sunshine, yet still has his serious and deep sides. Fits with Aladdin's emotional state in his movies, don't you think? Also, Aladdin looks similar to how I envision Rory. He's admittedly older than what Rory's supposed to be (Rory's supposed to be slightly younger than Tarina), but aside from that, it's a pretty great match! Like I said, Aladdin was my first choice. Milo as Chayce: Chayce is sooooo much grumpier and sassier than Milo, but he is just as awkward and smart. Yes, he's the nerd of the group and I adore him. I mean, I love all my characters, including my grumpy white-lion boy. Yes, I said white lion boy. Chayce is a sphinx, which is a species I'm particularly proud of. As a result, he is way way fluffier than Milo, physically. Milo's way fluffier personality-wise. Milo is the adorkable kind of nerd, while as Chayce is the more smartass kind of nerd. But it's still the best fit I could find for my cast. Taran as Andrew: I feel that Taran doesn't get enough attention, so I'm going to give it to him! Andrew is a character who keeps popping up in Fabler and the more he does, the more I've grown to love him. He actually used to be quite different than what he is now, and I honestly have no clue who I would've used as his non/Disney counterpart had I not changed his character. Now though, Taran's a surprisingly nice fit for my misguided baby Andrew. They both desperately want renown and both suffer from their efforts. Also, they're both young lads with floofy hair! Shang as Mato: Nothing I say will convince you that Shang playing Mato who (spoiler alert) will get with Neva who is being played by Mulan was a happy accident, will it? Because I swear it was! Shang just fits Mato's role nicely! Granted, Mato is not a captain of his group, but he is an experienced member of a fighting organization in Fabler, the warlocks if you must know (feel free to ask me about them), and he does help train Neva as well as protect people like the witches and especially Apus (woops, another spoiler). As for looks...um...I'll have to get back to you on that. Garrett as Liam: This was a surprisingly tough cast choice to make. Despite the number of "prince charming" figures in Disney to choose from, none of them are actually fitting in my opinion for the "prince charming" like character. Because Liam IS based on prince charming! From Cinderella specifically! And yet Cindy's prince Charming was NOT A GOOD FIT! It makes me laugh, it hurts so much! So, why did I go for Garrett? 1) he and his movie don't get enough attention, 2) his looks are a decent fit and 3) his serious nature and the fact that he's a legit warrior fits Liam well. Miguel as Edmund: This was another super-easy cast choice to make. Miguel's features loosely match some of Edmund's, particularly the blond hair. However, it's mostly Miguel's demeanor and mannerisms and energy that fit Edmund to a T. Edmund is just so playful and flamboyant and also a little goofy. All of which describe Miguel, I find. Miguel is also pretty flirty at times throughout his movie. So he's actually more restrained than Edmund, whom I affectionately call the slut or the thot of my cast. Because he totally is! And I love him for it! Prince Phillip as Darius Ray: I did NOT want to cast one of my favourite ever princes as this asshole. Because make no mistake, Darius Ray is an asshole, one who borders on sociopathy. Pretty much the opposite of Phillip, who is a genuinely awesome guy! So why did I make this cast choice?! Well, it was better than the first one I did, as you! Darius used to be played by Peter Pan, but I just COULD NOT follow through with that! Peter is just so precious and he's way too young to play Darius. Phillip has the age going for him, plus some of Phillip's playfulness and body type. Kenai as Apus: This is another looks-based casting choice. I haven't seen Brother Bear in a really long time, but I remember that Kenai's more rash personality is way different than calm and gentle Apus. But Kenai is a very fluffy-looking boy (and I'm not just talking about when he's a bear) and that fluffy is one of Apus's main physical traits. Fitting, since Apus is a yeti. Yes, yetis are a sentient species and they are more humanoid-looking than how they're traditionally depicted. Also, Kenai is mostly not human in his movie, which fits because Apus is a more minor character. Tulio as Mephistopheles: These two have looks that differ quite a bit, but I still wanted Tulio, from the get-go, to be Mephistopheles' Non/Disney counterpart. Because I've seen Tulio depicted as a villain in a few Non/Disney projects at this point and I want to counter that. Because I love Tulio! He's so funny! And Mephistopheles is a funny guy. Admittedly, he's still more cool-headed than Tulio, but he's a huge dork and I love him. Also, a few of Tulio's incredibly funny mannerisms fit well with Meph, particular in his interactions with Lucifer, who is, of course, his boss. Cale as Gabriel: Now isn't this an ironic choice? Cale is a cynical and rebellious character while as the angel Gabriel, in my story, is a stickler to the rules. But he is very jaded when it comes to his "little brother" Lucifer. And Cale, to me, kinda looks like he could be Jim's older brother with whom he doesn't get along. Kinda. But also, Cale has had moments in his movie where he's being more agressive and angry, and that certainly fits how Gabriel acts around Lucifer for most of the story. Also I just like Titan AE, okay? Hercules as Conor: Is it ironic that I'm having Hercules play a character who is a centaur? Because Conor is a centaur and Hercules fought a centaur in his movie? No? Not ironic? Okay. Still, I just thought it was interesting to point out. Another thing to point out is that Hercules has the perfect jock vibe to fit with Conor, who is such a golden boy it's impossible not to roll your eyes at him at least once. But he's not all ego. Conor's actually a nice guy and a good friend, much like how Hercules is a very good boy. Helga as Thelen: Have you ever been in a situation where the perfect cast choice just gift-wraps itself for you? Because that was the case with this choice! I'm just surprised that I didn't think of Helga immediately when I came up with Thelen's character! Their looks match up very well. The only remarkable difference is that Thelen is younger than Helga, or at least she seems younger. But aside from that, their features match great, their intimidating and domineering personalities are a great fit and especially the fact that both are very competent fighters! Odette as Diantha: Odette was my first cast choice for Diantha, but I almost didn't go with her for fear that I might need to use Odette for another role. But luckily, I didn't have to compromise that perfect cast choice! Okay, granted, there's still some differences between these two ladies. Odette, in her movie, has some moments where she's angry, but Diantha is much more so. She's rather strict in a motherly way, but she's also very regal and queen-like, at least it's how I always imagine her. And Odette often has that kind of regal dignity, I find. Sarah as Hiverein: This was honestly a casting choice I hadn't expected to make. Hiverein, in terms of looks, is rather different from Sarah Hawkins. While as Sarah is a normal human woman and looks it, Hiverein is the queen of the fairies, and in looks, she lives up to that. But there is nonetheless a connection in their characters. Both of these ladies are loving mothers, Sarah to Jim and Hiverein to her son Royse. Hiverein is also a queen who isn't afraid to be hands-on when it comes to taking care of her people, which reminds me of Sarah running her inn. Tiana as Greylyn: Personality-wise, Greylyn and Tiana have similarities. Both are extremely hard-working and dedicated to their goals, though these goals are very different. Tiana has personal ambitions of wanting a restaurant while as Greylyn is trying to lead and nurture her coven as well as she possibly can. Yet both women are good at putting a smile on their faces for the people watching them work. They also both deal in food a lot. Their looks are fairly similar as well, though how similar, I'm not sure yet, because I haven't finalized Greylyn's design yet. Asenath as Lillah: Even though she doesn't play a huge role in her movie, Asenath was actually one of my favourite characters as a child, so I was eager to find a place for her in my cast. And I think Lillah is a great fit. Lillah is a very calm character who tends to have a soothing presence whenever she arrives in a scene (kind of funny, given she's a ghost). Asenath, to me, was always very calming, which is partly why I liked her as a kid. Asenath was also a voice of reason in her movie and Lillah definitely acts as that in Fabler. Empress Marie as Norn: Goodness gracious has Norn's cast choice changed! I used to have her played by Tzipporah, but that would be pretty innacurate because of Norn's age. Norn is in her early 60s during the story of Fabler, while as Tzipporah is way younger, despite the fact that she looks similar to Norn. I went with empress Marie instead in hopes of that she would reflect the age a bit better, although I think Marie is older than early 60s. But there are some things Marie has going for her that still liken her to Norn: her grandmotherly kindness and regal presence. Madame Adelaide as Leira: Very similarly to Norn, Leira is in her late 50s-early 60s during Fabler, but my first cast choice for her really didn't reflect that. Her original cast choice was Cinderella, which is why it took me a while to finally cast Cinderella as Ericaine. But now I think that madame Adelaide is a better fit. Not just because of her age though. Madame is extremely caring and doting towards her cats, and Leira is similar towards another character in Fabler. Also, madame is very wealthy and Leira kind of has an equivalent to that in that she's very magically gifted. Esmeralda as Arwa: Esmeralda was my first choice for Arwa, much like Odette was for Diantha and Aladdin was for Rory. Arwa is supposed to look similar to Esmeralda, especially with her brightly-coloured eyes (though Arwa's are yellow instead of green, but you gotta admit that Esmeralda's eyes are a strikingly bright green). Arwa is also incredibly fierce like Esmeralda, and just like Esmeralda seems to be a kind of leader of the gypsies, Arwa is a leader of her pack of werewolves. Both are defiant and utterly badass ladies and, in short, this was a perfect cast match. Anya as the Fabler: Oh goodie, goodie, goodie, the titular fabler cometh at last! But I'm not going to tell you a lot about her! She's an incredibly mysterious and unknown character, which is strangely fitting because Anya's movie is inspired by the mystery of the princess Anastasia. But even putting that aside, Anya is a great cast choice for the Fabler. Their looks line up very well (if not their outfits), their mannerisms and expressions too, and the way the Fabler presents herself to the characters is very fun and sparky in a way very similar to Anya. Juliana as Hera: I know you're thinking. You're thinking "ANOTHER Quest for Camelot character, Carlotta, really?!" YES! Really! I love this movie, okay?! And Juliana does fit reasonably well with how I'm interpreting Hera in Fabler. Juliana is the wife of a knight, and so she seems like a bit of a noblewoman and she carries herself well in that regard. Heck, this woman showed no fear from the movie's villain, Rubert, until he started threatening her daughter. Hera is similar in that she is a total boss! But she's not as helpful to the protagonists as Juliana was in her story. Marina as Jeyne: You wanna know something really ironic? Even though I am including Kayley's canonical mom in the cast, Marina is the one playing Tarina's character's mother. Yes, Jeyne is Tarina's mom and I have Marina in her role. I don't have much reason for this casting choice, except that it's one I've had pretty much from the start of the making of this cast. Also, the fact I'm using such an awesome character as Marina makes me sad that Jeyne doesn't have a bigger role in the main story of Fabler. Because while, yes, she does appear, she doesn't do a whole lot. Eris as Merlina: Eris is not going to be happy that I'm using her, a goddess, to play the role of a mere ghost, isn't she? Too bad! There was no way I wasn't going to include Eris, since she's one of my favourite parts of the movie she's from. She does have quite a few differences from Merlina though. Merlina was once human and her story is way more tragic than Eris's. She is a villain, but she's one of those villains who thinks she's in the right. Not the same as Eris, who knows she's evil and has fun with it. But both ladies are also very manipulative and destructive. John Smith as Royse: I love my character Royse but he was SO DANG DIFFICULT TO CAST! And even now, believe me, it's not a perfect fit. For the longest time, I thought that his Non/Disney counterpart would be Garrett, because of his long hair, serious nature, connection to nature, combative skills and the fact he has a staff for a weapon. Buuuutttt that'd be awkward for me, since Garrett is Kayley's canon love interest, he'd be playing as her father figure. So I went with John Smith because he seems older than Garrett. Even though his personality is very different. John Rolfe as Gawyn: Unlike Royse, Gawyn's cast choice was pretty easy peasy. John Rolfe has some of the looks I'm going for with it comes to Gawyn (even though Gawyn's hair is way curlier) and the same air of dignity. But Gawyn is much more...shall we say, quirky than Gawyn. And he's unashamed of it. So I guess you can say that there's still dignity in that and I agree. But yeah, John Rolfe is more serious than Gawyn and his looks aren't nearly as fantastical. But he was nonetheless the first to come to mind as a Non/Disney counterpart when I came up with Gawyn. Eric as Favian: Like Royse, Favian's cast choice has frequently changed. Partly because every time I changed Royse's cast choice, I wanted his hubby to have a cast choice that I could pair him up with. But now I'm happy I stuck with Eric. Personality, he's rather light-hearted, which is fitting with Favian's demeanor. There's still several changes, of course, like with his looks. Now, I haven't fully decided on Favian's look, but I know that while his dark hair matches Eric, he's certainly not as light-complected as the prince. Kale as Valerik: Derek was at first the one I was going to choose for Valerik. But then I remember Kale and I was like "Carlotta, you crazy! Kale is a WAY better fit!" First, there's looks. Like many of my characters (for now), I don't have a full design for Valerik yet, but it ressembles Kale's the more and more I think about it. Second, Kale seems like a good, calm leader, which Valerik is. Third, Kale seems like he'd be great with kids, and Valerik is a proud papa of a bunch of wee nippers. Not to say Derek doesn't have some of these qualities, but Kale just has more. Dimitri as Robin: Once again, a cast member that I was surprised I didn't think of sooner. I mean, Robin is something of a con man, but has some depths to him that take a while for the other characters to unlock. That's Dimitri in a nutshell, right?! Plus, Dimitri's often whacky expressions or mannerisms suit Robin well. As does Dimitri's slight tendency to be the glutton for punishment in the movie he's from. Moses as Tyrone: Tyrone doesn't look entirely like Moses, but I nonetheless feel that they have a few similarities in appearance. Tyrone is at least a bit paler, being a vampire (one of the few good ones in the Fabler universe, which is why I'm okay having a sweetheart like Moses play him), and the outfit will very much different, of course, but still, the looks are a good base for what I'm hoping for him to look like. Temperament-wise, though, I'll admit Moses isn't my best choice, as Tyrone isn't exactly all that sane when we first meet him in the story. He gets better though. Phoebus as Odin: I'll admit it. Phoebus is quite a bit younger than how Odin is supposed to be portrayed. But, in my defense, Odin is also an immortal god with divine power, so it's not out of the question that he could look rather good for his age. But also, both males are, of course, warriors. Yes, Odin may be more of a trickster and wiseman god, but he's not shy from a fight either. In Fabler, in fact, he does quite a bit of it. Also, Phoebus is capable of being serious, but also really friendly and joking, which is so perfect for how I want my boy Odin! Proteus as Hades: Yes, yes, yes, I know. I know that Disney already gave us Hades. And I do love Disney's Hades. However, I love more-early-source-accurate, good-boy, very-much-not-a-villain-you-fools Hades even more! So, why'd I choose Proteus for this version of Hades? His looks aren't tooooo far from the mark (certainly the long lovely ponytail isn't far), he's got a very good personality to go at least somewhat with Hades and many of his mannerisms fit well. All in all, 10/10 choice for me. Arthur as Baldur: LAST TIME I SWEAR! This is the last time I'm using a Quest for Camelot character, I promise! But yeah, here's the thing: I have NEVER! Not once! Ever seen Arthur used in a Non/Disney project! He wasn't used ONCE, to my knowledge! And, I mean, I can understand why. He really doesn't appear much in the movie. BUT! I'm not letting that stop me here! Arthur here actually does really fit with how I'm interpreting Baldur, AKA God (yes, as in Lucifer's dad), not just in looks, but in mannerisms as well. I'm happy I'm using this underused character! Sinbad as Syrus: You know something kind of ironic? Sinbad is normally portrayed, in Non/Disney, as Jim's father, or sometimes older brother (lookin at you TB). But I have seen him used as Kayley's father too and, honestly, I really like that as well. He's got the looks for it and the adventurous spirit. Which brings me to Syrus. His hair colour is admittedly a bit redder than Sinbad's (gotta explain where Tarina got her red hair from) and his eyes are different, but the rest fits neatly into how I envision Tarina's father. And again, I'm now sad he doesn't do more in the story. Dymus as Nightinion: Nightinion, much like Syrus, is another father who's one of the less important named characters. Specifically, he is Ericaine's father. But, nonetheless, I felt he was important enough to include in my cast. And why did I go with Dymas? Well, first off, he's a king. But there are, admittedly, quite a few Non/Disney kings. So why Dymas in particular? Well, something about him makes me feel like he has more strength and command than most Non/Disney kings, yet is still diplomatic and courteous. All of which are what I see in Nightinion. Dean as Natsbane: I love Dean. Really, I do. So I'm really sad for putting him in the role of this jerk. Because, while Natsbane isn't totally evil, he is not a nice guy. But something about Dean's general grumpy and unfriendly exterior and his love of his artwork remind me quite a bit of Natsbane. Though, if a full Non/Disney version of Fabler were to be made, Natsbane wouldn't be quite as...kinda-mad-scientist-wacko that he is in my envisioning. Then again, perhaps that's a good thing. It'd be interesting to see a mad scientist who's not mad as in insane, but mad as in angry. DISCLAIMERS: Fabler (c) me I OWN NONE OF THE SCREENSHOTS I USED TO MAKE THIS POST

[deducingfangirlsofhell]

A Dangerous Affair

Pairing: MoriartyxReader, mentions of Sherlockxreader

Warnings: Smut, a bit of cursing, and a LOT OF ANGST. I LOVE THE ANGST. Also, unrequited love, for the most part?

____________________________________________

Hands pinned to the wall, and the most dangerous man in the world's lips attacking your neck. This had become the norm when your boyfriend was too busy for you, and you always felt guilty afterwards. Hell, you felt guilty at the beginning of one of these sessions, too. But- Jim was just so... sexy.

He could feel your reservation, like there always was, and he hated that. You always thought about Sherlock, always felt that same guilt, when you should be focusing on him.

What was so special about that damn detective anyways? He ignored and neglected you- he'd never do that. No, no, no- you would be his queen, and he'd treat you as such. But you already felt horrid enough about having an affair with the consulting criminal, for how good you let him make you feel. So, for now, this would work.

"You have got to relax, Kitten." He purred into your ear, letting your wrists go temporarily to unbutton your white blouse. To be honest, he didn't understand how Sherlock could possibly ignore you. If you were his, he'd be too busy admiring you to get any work done, at all.

You nodded, taking a few deep breaths, tossing your shirt aside, letting him pin your hands, again. Jim was masterful at this- lips burning your skin, making you hotter by the second, a few simple nips and kissed making your hips buck into his. But he could still feel how tense you were. Chuck- he hated Sherlock.

"Babe, jut forget about him for twenty minutes, so we can get this show on the road, yeah?" He murmured against the tender flesh of your breasts, getting increasingly annoyed with all of this.

"I'm used to him being hours away when we do this- not just across London, cut me some slack!" You snapped back, hitting your head against the wall. He rolled his eyes, and continued, using his knee to separate your legs, and smirked when you instinctively wrapped them around his waist. His lips were suddenly on yours, teeth quickly joining the kiss, nipping and biting your lips. He knew better to leave any marks, but man, did he wish he could. He'd mark you as his in any and every way. Not just by having his way with you. Your wrists would be bruised, and you'd have too many hickeys to count painted all over your body. Your nails would create art across his back, and all down his arms. He wanted to be yours, more than just as a lover, and to be marked accordingly.

He'd want you to leave more marks than you already did.

And, most importantly, he wouldn't have to watch you flounce around with his enemy, after. Kissing in the safety of the flat, and watching you wear that stupid purple scarf. Only when Sherlock remembered he had a freaking girlfriend, of course. That's what annoyed him most of all- Sherlock had you, this wonderful, gorgeous, intelligent woman, and he didn't even remember you were his.

"Who's distracted, now? What? Your little pet mess up your tie, again?" You taunted, tugging on it with your, now free, hands. He scoffed, pulling the offending garment off. He hated when you did that- but loved it, too... damn you, being all witty and sarcastic. He threw the tie to the side, tossing you on your bed, landing on top of you.

"I'll show you distracted." He growled seductively, attacking your lips, again, hands roaming over your body until they got to your shorts. Your hands made quick work of his button-up, and, even more quickly, it joined yours. His body pressed against yours, lips exploring your skin as his hands began to push your shorts down.

You both froze when the door buzzed.

"Y/n?" John called, already trying to find the spare key. You threw yourself up, pushing Jim aside as you hurriedly pulled up your shorts and snatched the white button ups from the ground.

"Closet- now!" You demanded as Jim straightened out his pants. He didn't get a chance to respond as you began pushing him towards the door.

"Closet? Really?" He complained as he was forced among your things. His eyes began scanning his surroundings, an annoyed scowl on his face.

"You're the side-guy, you go into the closet- get over it." You snapped, pulling on one shirt while tossing the other as his eyes stopped on a set of lingerie, examining it.

"Suddenly not so disapproving of the closet." He mused, taking a closer look. You scoffed offendedly, buttoning up the shirt as quick as you could. He looked to you with a small smirk, by it quickly dropped.

"Y/-" You didn't have time for his nonsense. "Shut up, you're staying in the closet." You hissed, shutting the door quickly, then hurrying out to meet John, pulling your hair into a decent looking pony.

You opened the door with a cheery smile, "Hey, John." You chirped, smiling. He returned the smile, coming in, not really taking a good look at your attire. Your heart felt like it would break open your chest cavity at any moment. You could still taste your betrayal in your mouth, and you hated that it tasted like expensive Irish whiskey and mint gum. It was the worst taste betrayal could have.

Jim wanted to gag- he could hear every word. Yep, John had to come save Sherlock's relationship, and save his stupid arse. No one would ever see Sebastian doing this, because Jim would never ignore you for two days straight.

"Um..." His eyes narrowed on the tag hanging from the shirt, "Westwood?" He asked, clearly confused. Jim rolled his eyes, using the door to the bathroom to get around into the kitchenette, while your breath caught in your throat. He held up the blouse you threw him in your rush.

"Wrong shirt." You silently cursed yourself as he moved to return it to you. He picked up the collar of your shirt, making a show to point it out.

"I know Westwood when I see it." That was what he'd been trying to tell you when you told him to shut up... and now John knew about your affair with Moriarty. He smirked, leaning against your counter, arms crossed over his chest as he looked at the flabbergasted John.

"You're cheating on Sherlock- with Moriarty?! Why!?" He demanded, standing up in a fit of anger and disgust. His eyes showed how betrayed he felt and you couldn't even blame him.

"John, it's just that-"

"Sherlock ignores her, neglects her, sometimes forgets she exists and that she's his girlfriend- plus, I rather like to think I'm a pretty good shag." He said cockily, maybe even spitefully. You went red at his words, shaking your head quickly.

"N-No- John's it isn't like that-" John was already coming over to either chew you out or punch Jim. Either option wasn't exactly a good one...

"John- please, don't tell Sherlock." You begged, Jim's jaw ticking. John looked ready to say something, but Jim beat him to the punch- no pun intended.

"Or do. It's not like he'd care enough to actually exert the energy to break up with you anyway." He shrugged casually as both you and John stopped. John knew Sherlock was, well, Sherlock. And that he didn't always remember you guys had plans, or your birthday, or... that you existed at all... sometimes he'd say rude things to you... or kick you out when you were crying because a relative died and he needed to go to his mind palace... okay, so there was nothing positive about you and Sherlock's relationship, but cheating? Especially with Moriarty? That was low.

You spun around to Jim after the initial shock, "He would to care!" You insisted as he looked over his manicured nails.

"You mean like he did when your grandmother died? Or... would it be more like when he let you stay kidnapped for 47 hours because there was a more interesting case and he didn't realize you were gone for the first 36 of those hours?" He mused sarcastically. Tears pricked your eyes, because he was right. Sherlock would be more concerned with the fact that Moriarty was sleeping with his girlfriend, than his girlfriend was sleeping with Moriarty. He wouldn't care that you cheated on him- he'd care that Moriarty took time out to screw you. John sat there, a tad shocked at the disdain that Irish accent held, a hatred that you didn't hear. Jim could've seen anyone, or he could've told Sherlock in hopes of crushing him, but he didn't. Why..?

"Screw you, Jim!" You snapped suddenly, more tears gathering in your eyes. You spun away from him, only to have him pull you back around, and use his thumb to wipe away your still coming tears. He didn't drop his dead eyes or displeased look- never in front of John, but you were his primary concern right now.

"Oh, hush, now, Sweetheart. I'm sure I'm completely incorrect and Sherlock will find a way to forgive you." He lied easily. He couldn't bear to see you cry, especially at something he said. How dare Sherlock? He had a wonderful woman with a heart of gold, and the sweetest smile there ever was, and all he did was send her into waves of tears.

John's curiosity got the better of him, and he spoke up, even if it meant his doom, "What exactly do you get out of this, then?" Jim froze, thumb halfway across your cheek. What he got out of it? Listening to the woman he loved scream his name and trash talk his nemesis were two pretty fair reasons, but... no. He couldn't say that. Then you'd push him away, and he'd never see you again, under any capacity, even an enemy. But he couldn't say he was using you, because then he'd be just like Sherlock. Playing at your heart. Which was less painful..?

"Simple. I have it over Sherlock, that I can have anything of his at anytime, and he doesn't even know I have it." Your eyes snapped open. Why you? Your hands collided with his chest, sending him to your kitchen floor, and you stormed back to your room. So what? The man you'd been seeing behind your boyfriend's back was just using you. So what, he was there when Sherlock wasn't? So what, you'd began to develop feelings for him? So what, he broke your heart?

Maybe you'd given into a small fantasy that the consulting criminal liked you, and might even have had loved you. Maybe you'd given him the power to break your heart.

Maybe the sound of your table crashing wasn't said consulting criminal being punched by John.

----------

Jim got back to his place a long while later, jaw bruised and eye swollen. Sebastian rose a brow before heading to grab an ice pack.

"Thought you said she wasn't into that?" He joked, tossing the smaller man the cooling relief. Jim carefully pressed it to his jaw.

"Johnny-Boy came a knockin'." He grumbled, slouching onto the couch. Sebastian grabbed a couple beers and joined his boss on the couch, ready to listen to what happened.

A long story later (telling Sebastian absolutely everything), he finally got to what John had said, "...then that stupid fool asked me, 'what do you get out of this, then?" His voice rose in mockery, "And of course, I lied-" Sebastian stopped him there, rubbing his temple, knowing he'd need another beer after this.

"Woah, Boss- you lied? Girl just realized her boyfriend doesn't give a flying rat's behind about her, and you say that you- let me remind you, that you're the person she has been going to when Sherlock is being a complete and total arse- and you lie and say that you don't care about her, either?" Jim flinched, realizing his major mistake right there, but not wanting to admit it.

"So what? I should've just said, 'Can't lie- I'm in love with her and this is legitimately the only way I'll probably ever get her because she refuses to leave her arrogant sod of a boyfriend'?" He snapped back, earning a bemused look from Sebastian.

"Yes."

[optimisticcritique]

Gotham 4x05 - Re-watch Review

Preparing myself for Gotham’s return...while I am still watching 4x12 live, my reviews will probably not finish before it airs. We’ll see. 

More quality hard workers in Gotham. I should be surprised but I’m not.

This is so depressing...but yay to Grundy! 

More heated disagreements for Harvey and Jim. They should really just hug it out. 

Bruce feels guilty, angsty, emotional, and angry. Ready to make rash and impulsive decisions. All sounds like regular emotions, especially for his age.

That poor family. Wow, there were not a lot of people there. Were they late or was that all there was?

“Instead, you’ve been placing him in harm’s way”. I’m sorry Jim, have you met Bruce? If only you knew everything that was going on.

I’d love to see Jim try to take care of Bruce for a day (last episode doesn’t count) and watch him. It would be a lot harder than he thinks. Alfred can take the day off. Maybe go on a cruise, go hiking, visit someone in arkham, or beat up some thugs. You know, an average vacation.  

Wow, what lousy security. It is almost as if these guards were not legit and did not care that Babs had a weapon to break Ra’s out...

So, what’s the exact status of the Babs and Ra’s relationship? *Currently in love with a dusty corpse, possible resurrection still pending. I can see that being a great Facebook status to use one day. 

Yeah, Babs. I am still a bit unclear on Ra’s motivations too.

I feel Barbara is the type of person that always has something with her for any given situation. Need lipstick? Got it. Need booze? Got it. Need a way to escape an almost inescapable prison because you murdered a young boy? Got it. 

Some people believe Ra’s vibrated his sperm/a baby into Barbara to get her pregnant. Some believe it was his life force to bring him back to life. Try explaining that to a non-Gotham fan with no context. 

It’s alliiiive!

And Grundy has been born! Odd. It isn’t even Monday. 

His shirt is non-existent but most of his pants are in tact #familytelevision.

Born on a Monday, chr-crap. Am I the only one that always gets this song in my head every time I hear it? 

Imagine if Butch wasn’t the only one to be thrown in the swamp and was reborn. Gotham vs. zombie apocalypse for season 5!

 Mr. Penn has returned! <3 So wise, so patient. 

 I actually created a Mr. Penn fan club. So far I’m the only member but it’s really hitting it’s stride! 

I am surprised it took so many seasons to see Oswald actually icing his leg and showing genuine pain from it. I know it is Gotham and there are a lot of people that want him dead but he should really consider seeing a doctor.  

Oswald’s face when Sofia touches him says two things. One: What? Did you just touch me without physically trying to harm me? Two: Not having any of it. Not interested.

I forgot how many times “I’m a Falcone”, “Falcone name”, and “my father...” are mentioned by Sofia in 4A. I should start a drinking game. 

“Add a question mark, will you?” Savage. Also, let’s be real Oswald. You wouldn’t murder Carmine’s only daughter that easily. He’d be coming for you.

I wonder if things would have been better for Oswald if he just went along with Sofia’s game-knowing she is playing him-and just plays her back in return.

The real problems in life: Inability to think 3 steps ahead AND inability to solve riddles. Yes, there is a medication that fits those exact symptoms. 

Smartivia...Ed, come on, really?

Ed has a very big mouth. Dentists must love him.

I would call Ed a drama queen for reacting in that way but, to be honest, I would probably react the same if I was unexpectedly stabbed in the hand.

Fake gun lol I wish it was the same one he threatened Oswald with. Too bad I doubt it.

Hey, where did he get a fake gun anyway? How could he get a fake on in Gotham but not a real one? Did he just steal it from a child on the street? 

I was wrong. He is definitely a drama queen. 

That’s a lot of pills at once, Ed. What if they were real pills?

Sometimes I forget Ed was frozen on ice and didn’t know that Butch or Babs “died”.

Grundygma is born. 

“Man talk too much” - Edward Nygma/The Riddler in a nutshell. Yeah, he’s always been someone who never shuts up, whether his brain works or not. 

Alfred and Jim working together >>>>>> Jim criticizing Alfred’s parental  skills, which Jim knows nothing about because he is not a parent yet.

Does everyone just expect terrible security in Gotham? Is it common knowledge? I mean, Bruce seems to break in with such ease, not worrying about being caught. 

You really should of thought about whether you wanted to stab him or not  before walking inside his cell and breaking into the jail. And taking off your mask.

What was your exact plan Bruce?

Corrupt. Always corrupt workers in Gotham.

All the weapons gag. Alfred, you are truly amazing.

Jim making fun of Alfred for under crackers...we need more moments like this.

Alfred should really have more scenes with other people more often.  

I want to know how the hand grew exactly? Is he part lizard?

Grundy and Ed is the friendship I never knew I needed.

I love how Grundy assumed Ed was just hungry. He doesn’t want to be my friend? It’s just his empty stomach talking.

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach... Ed isn’t secretly in love with Grundy is he? Will that be his next love interest after this season?

Sofia playing the long game.

Does Ed honestly think flailing is enough to get free? 

“I assure you, we are not friends” Grundy’s face says: Dude, I just gave you a hot dog! Really? Did that mean nothing to you?

Grundy/Ed hug <3 Oh yeah, I’ve given and gotten hugs like that before. You know, the ones where someone nearly suffocates you to death. Good times.

Only Oswald can be a sassy eater... and be strangely entertaining when eating.

I love the small details of having a guy test his food. It’s the little things.

Oswald’s thoughts as he takes bite: “Oof emotions creeping. Remembering happiness and sadness... Nooo! Must not feel! Must leave before emotions get me!” I feel like this is a relatable feeling for Nygmobblepot fans when watching old scenes. Or fans of any ship or character in this show in general.

Oswald seems either ashamed of his leg, protective from it hurting worse, or both. Probably both.

Sofia playing the mom card. You’d think Oswald would be paranoid, given a similar situation was happening with Carmine in Season 1.

Sofia likes to tell a lot of stories from her childhood.

Ra’s really does know how to hit the right points and push someone into murdering him.

I am still surprised Bruce stabbed him. I still think Ra’s will come back though... somehow. 

And emotionless Bruce is here. Not a fan of emotionless Bruce.

Cherry! 

How does Cory feel about being called things like “string bean” and “squirt”? Always wondered how actors feel when being called those things. 

And...here comes Lee! Drinking, of course. The trio is finally here.

Over all: Great episode. I did initially get disappointed over Ra’s death happening so soon and Bruce going full blown angst but, when binging episodes, it isn’t such a big deal. Not when you know Ra’s will likely be back and Bruce will grow. I enjoyed the pairings and interactions in this episode. Edward and Grundy bond. Sofia gets closer to Penguin. Jim and Alfred working together to get Bruce. Bruce and Ra’s being honest with each other, only for Bruce to stab him. Just going deeper into what is soon about to come...  

Previous Review: 4x04  Next: 4x06

[fantasiesromancechicklits]

In Depth Thomas Doherty interview

TWO things hit home immediately on meeting Scotland’s Disney star Thomas Doherty; the first is he has the arresting good looks normally associated with boy band members, or those young men you see on giant posters on the wall of a trendy clothes shop, wearing nice tops. When Doherty later informs he has over a million Instagram followers it’s not hard to see why.

The second thing is his ankle tattoo, an inscription of sorts, but although I’m sitting a yard away I can’t make the words out. Some foreign language I’ve never come across? We talk about the tattoo puzzle later, meantime the young man from Edinburgh chats about his new Disney role.

Doherty, who is also one of the stars of Disney Channel musical, The Lodge, now stars as Harry Hook in Descendants 2, a sequel to the international TV franchise featuring the adventures of the teen offsprings of the great Disney villains such as Cruella de Vil and Maleficent.

He explains why he’s wild about Harry. “I love playing him,” says the actor who hopes his pirate Son of Hook will be the most evil villain of the past 100 years, badder than old King Kong, and meaner than a junkyard dog, (to lift from the late American songwriter Jim Croce.)

“He can be very hostile and intimidating and unpredictable, but at the same time he has a charming quality. It’s easy to see why people love him – but hate to love him at the same time. He’s such good fun to play. And his character brings a lot to the rest of the film.

Doherty seems to have natural warmth and to be entirely unassuming. As he tells of playing Captain Hook’s wicked progeny, it’s with an endearing sense of incredulity; the actor’s voice has a questioning air, wondering how he can, at just 22, be part of this worldwide franchise, be part of the offspring of the Disney parents who gave the world Miley Cyrus and Britney Selena Gomez.

He later reveals however he isn’t an innocent abroad. But for the moment we continue talk of Harry Hook. Did he channel anyone in particular when he became bad boy Harry? “I did,” he offers. “I thought of Heath Ledger when he played the Joker in Batman. His performance was amazing. He showed how you can totally immerse himself in this huge character, yet make him truthful. It’s such a shame we’ve lost him.

“When I play Harry I want that sort of truth.” He adds: “There’s a real dichotomy about him and it’s important to understand he’s still a kid, which means there’s a lot of teenage angst and frustration in the mix.

“You forget he’s the son of Hook, and don’t think about the pirate ship. What I want to come across is he’s a young man with a lot of problems – peer pressure, father pressures, and loss in his life. And this manifests itself in anger and aggression.” He laughs: “But it’s all good fun.”

Doherty clearly brings an intelligence to the role (his mother, who works in a bank – his dad is a financial adviser – made sure he finished his Highers before she agreed on him taking off to musical theatre college) but you discover there’s also an innate toughness about him which the model looks don’t suggest initially.

“I grew up hoping to become a professional footballer,” he says, revealing a world far removed from fairy princesses and camp.

His talent was such it led to professional trials with the likes of Berwick Rangers, but not quite enough to land the big leagues. “My brother was also a footballer and went to America on a footballing scholarship, so I guess I was following in his footsteps.”

Yet, while Doherty tackled and twisted his way over East Lothian grass he kept a dark, or rather a colourful, secret from many of his school chums.

“While I was seen as a football player, no-one was aware I also did musical theatre,” he says in mock conspiratorial voice. “I’d have my books and packed lunch at the top of my bag but at the bottom I’d hide my tap shoes.

“On Saturdays, for example, I’d go to musical theatre from nine ‘till one and then rush off to the game.” He adds, laughing: “Then during the week I’d turn up for musical theatre with my knees all cut and bruised. It was all a bit Billy Elliott. But I loved both.”

His very close friends accepted his leanings: “Yes, but any 13-year-old boy who wears leotard and tights two days a week is going to get slagged off,” he says, grinning. “Young boys were wary of acting. There was a sense it was all a bit effeminate. And I’d get teased. but it’s part of the banter. And my friends were fantastic and so supportive when it came to seeing my shows.”

Doherty had been attending a local drama group from a young age, but aged 13 he “really began to enjoy it". When the football dream was kicked out of the park, he decided to focus on performing and applied to the Academy of Performing Arts to study musical theatre. “I always wanted to work in TV and film but didn’t feel I was mature enough to go to acting school. And I could sing a bit, and dance as well because I had already done a lot of musical theatre shows.”

At the end of his three years, he performed his showcase and landed an agent. Now, landing representation is every young performer’s dream. But when you coax it out of Doherty there’s a realisation agents were almost queueing around the block to sign him up.

You would imagine they saw him as a cert for a role in EastEnders, a teen heartbreaker shoe-in for Hollyoaks?

“Yes, I met a few agents and some of them suggested they would get me into the likes of Hollyoaks. But it didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel passionate about the idea and felt I would be cheating a little bit.”

What happened was he worked in theatre for a short time, appearing at the Edinburgh Festival in a play about the Black Death, boils and all. Then he landed some film work in the likes of Hercules before being cast in teen musical The Lodge as Sean, filming in Northern Ireland.

He switches conversational channels to offer a bigger picture. “I don’t thinking living two steps ahead in life as being in any way productive. I like to live in the moment. That’s why there isn’t a big career plan mapped out.

“In the six months before leaving college I had the idea I’d get an agent and move to Hollywood and land films and do the red carpet thing. And then I got a little taste of it and I realised I was trying to fill my life with stuff. But I also realised if that was my intent it would never really be filled.”

What? These days actors talk of career moves as if it were a board game strategy. What made Doherty so different? What happened to bring about this epiphany?

Seems he has gone down the way of modelling after all.

“While I was doing The Lodge I was also meeting these modelling agencies, and at the same time I was going to acting auditions. But I wasn’t really thinking about the auditions; I was thinking about what the auditions would bring me. Then I went to LA and did the photo shoot for Teen Vogue and came back and thought ‘That was so much fun’ and people were saying to me it was amazing, yet at the same time it all felt very hollow, a bit vacuous.”

Doherty realised he was being judged for his looks alone. It didn’t sit well. “Old friends or people who didn’t know me were giving lots of attention, and it was weird when girls would scream or ask for photos but it wasn’t fulfilling.”

He felt lost, unsure of the road to take. “I began reading Eckhart Tolle a lot, (the spiritual teacher and author of books such as The Power Of Now) who has been asking why we are trying to fill our lives with stuff. You know; you get the car or the big house or whatever and then you ask yourself what you did to deserve it.

“You wonder if life is all about getting two million followers on social media.”

He has in fact just a million. The actor grins and then takes on a serious look: “But the thing is it doesn’t mean anything, except that ... well, it doesn’t define me.”

It’s quite unusual to find a young man aged just 22 who has been self-aware enough to examine the very point of his being. He could have gone the Bieber route and created minor drugs/alcohol mayhem. But of course, he’s also contained to a certain extent by the demands of Disney. The corporation Disney expects a lot of its young stars, in terms of how they represent themselves to the public, displaying a clean cut wholesomeness.

So how does Doherty balance out the Disney deal with the need to be a young man and have fun – and take a few risks? “Just don’t get caught,” he says, grinning. “But what you don’t do is overthink your status and let it get into your head because it will be a bit restrictive. What you have to do is just see yourself as a you are, which is a normal 22-year-old boy. And don’t let a couple of screaming girls sway you in any way.”

Does he read the tabloid tales of those who have lost the plot? Clearly he’s aware that celebrity is the mask that eats from within. Just think Heath Ledger.

“Yes, and I’m aware if you don’t be careful you crash and burn. Jim Carey once said he wished everyone could spend a week being rich and famous, to see what it’s really like. Attention can bring problems. But I’ve got it under control.”

What helps, apart from Eckhart Tolle and a few pages of natural common sense, is Doherty has a regular girlfriend, who happens to be his Descendants 2 co-star. “Her name is Dove Cameron and she lives in Los Angeles.” His voice becomes more animated as he expands: “She was here for the Edinburgh Festival for the first time and she loved it. She’s great. She’s like my pal, and a really good laugh. The plan is I’m going to head over to LA to live. We’re going to get a place together and live on Venice Beach.”

You tell him he’ll love it. And you’re sick with envy. “Thanks,” he says, smiling. “I think I’m making the right move. London’s great, and so is Edinburgh but it’s too cold.”

Doherty is relaxed about the future. He may be doing another season of The Lodge, and “hopefully a Descendants 3". But thanks to his Instagram success he has a regular income stream, independent of what he earns from acting. “I want to test the water,” he says of work possibilities in Tinseltown.

But gently.

“It’s good to have goals and a career and all the rest of it, but at the same time I want to enjoy life.”

He means it. The actor becomes truly animated when I tell of a young Scots actor, Declan Laird, currently making his way in Hollywood, who plays for a showbiz football team. Declan will get him a game.

“That sounds fantastic,” he says, breaking into a wide smile. “Although I’ll have to watch I don’t get kicked. But of course I won’t tell anyone I’m playing.”

We say goodbyes, but the ankle tattoo questions has to be answered. What the hell language is that? “It’s Elvish,” he declares, as if I should have known it’s Tolkien tongue.

“I’m a huge Lord Of The Rings fan, and it’s a quote from Gandalf: ‘All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that’s given to us.’ Good, eh?”

Perfect line, Thomas. Just perfect.

http://www.heraldscotland.com/arts_ents/15597316.Hook_lines_and_thinker__meet_the_rising_Scottish_film_star/

[omanu]

i have a few tags to do, so im gonna do them all in one post so i dont keep tagging the same ppl in multiple things idk. dont worry, you dont need to do them if u dont want to ♥

i was tagged by @nashira , the angel ♥

¤ nickname: well, irl is manu, but tbh my name is manu. i have another nickname my family uses, that is budi lol

¤ zodiac sign: sagittarius 

¤ height: the best scenario here is 167cm, idk how much that is in ft or whatever lmao

¤ orientation: ….. like everyone 

¤ favourite fruit: cantaloupe 

¤ favourite season: winter and fall

¤ favourite book: i dont think i have one, but like, the last book i read was fucking amazing everyone should read, it’s gay, it’s a series of three books, and it’s called when women were warriors.

¤ favourite flower: all of them? i love flowers in general

¤ favourite scent: RAIN, and ngl the scent of matches 

¤ favourite animal: dogs and cats

¤ favourite colour: light colors and also black and blue

¤ coffee, tea or hot cocoa: hot cocoa

¤ average sleep hours: well now i sleep a lot i would say 8-12 

¤ cat or dogs: BOTH

¤ n° of blankets: just one

¤ dream trip: ANY GOOD BEACH

¤ blog created: idr well, but 2015? or maybe late 2014. but ive been on tumblr since 2009/2010 lol

¤ favourite song: ……..dude idk rn is any song of bts, but on my last fm it’s probably a song by adam, the love of my life. and i love too many songs so i cant just write them all

Rules: Use the first letter of your name to answer each question. Real answers only. If the person who tagged you has the same initial, you must give different answers. You cannot use the same word twice. Once you enter your answers, tag 10 other people! i was tagged by @superunknwn​ , another angel ♥

Your name: Manu

A four letter word: mole *looks at nashira and sara* A boy’s name: … Manu An occupation: Musician Something you can wear: mittens  A place: McDonald's  A reason for being late: … idk … Moving? Medical matter? idk i used two words but they both begin with the letter m lol Something you shout: mYLES A movie title: Moana Something you drink: Martini An animal: Monkey A type of car: Mercedes  Song title: Ma City by bts lol i was just singing this

i was tagged by @bensun​ a looooong time ago sorry, but i too love doing these so why not. this one is similar to the first tag game, but im doing it anyway

Answer the questions and tag 20 followers you would like to get to know better! —————– Name: Manu

Nicknames: budi. i want new nicknames tbh, cute ones.

Zodiac Sign: sagittarius

Height: 167cm 

Orientation: same, i like all genders but the s*x part is……. uh, idrl

Ethnicity: native brazilian (indigenous) (wow i just saw this on the internet and im using it), mixed with whi*te some time in the past. i would know better if whi*es hadnt done that

Favorite Fruit: Probably blueberries or just berries in general and I loooove smoothies …. with any fruit to be honest

Favorite Season: Fall and winter

Favorite Book: to mention another one im reading the third book of the vampire chronicles, i love the second one, i love lestat

Favorite Flowers: yeah i like flowers, but idrn their names, i just love it

Favorite Color: light colors, but also black and blue again

Favorite Animal: dogs and cats

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: hot chocolate

Average Sleep Hours: 8-12 ay

Cat or Dog Person: BOTh

Favorite Fictional Character: MIDNIGHTER

Number of Blankets I sleep with: just one

Ideal trip: beach!!

Blog Created: 2015 ig 

dear @superunknwn​ tagged me on this a looooooooooooooong ass time ago, sorry ily (actually she didnt tagged me but i wanted to do this so i just saved on my drafts) 
Rules: 
1. go to this site: https://www.random.org/lists/ 2. Pick 15 of your favorite characters or favorite people from your fandoms and list them 3. Tag at least 5 people 4. Have fun with it! 
— 
1. Mom/dad: Apollo!!!!!!!!!! yes!!!!! 2. Your sibling: jim halpert lmaoo thats fine 3. Your grandma/grandpa:  michael jackson 4. Haunts you: park seo joon 5. Your boyfriend/girlfriend: adam lambert (ok…. i would prefer jhope but ok) 6. Your ex: taystee hdsfkhfdksjh 7. Your best friend: MIDNIGHTER 8. Proposed to you: MYLES KENNEDY DHJKSHFDF 9. Your boss: slash….. thats not ideal but glad that i know him 10. The random person you met at the bar: lestat fdkslsd friend 11. Your rival: seo in guk NOOOOO he is my bf wtf 12. Gave you your first kiss: rothen skljkld 13. Drunk and singing karaoke with: lzzy hale my love 14. Played 7 minutes in heaven with:  JHOPE DFHKFSDJKSFHKJSD 15. Gave you your favorite dessert: chris traeger, my favorite dessert is not raisins

tbh im not gonna tag ppl anymore, ive already tagged everybody, yall just can do it

@lionesslindsey tagged me on this a looong time ago too, no surprise

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. (but that’s so many D: I’m too awkward for so many) (relatable lmao) Tagging: everyone i tagged on this long ass post Whoever wants to do this though, go ahead!

1. coke or pepsi: i dont drink soda heh 2. disney or dreamworks: I love them both, but my absolute fav movie is The Lion King. lindsey i just copied ur answer bc BITCH ME TOO, just addin Mulan here 3. coffee or tea: i dont like coffee and i never really wanted to try tea lmao 4. books or movies: Both!!!!! 5. windows or mac: only tried windows 6. dc or marvel: DC pls 7. xbox or playstation: even though i dont have and console, i like ps better 8. dragon age or mass effect: never played. dont have a console lmao 9. night owl or early riser: if those are video games…. never played i dont have a console 10. cards or chess: cards! 11. chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate 12. vans or converse: converse, never owned vans bc im poor af, so i would probably like both 13. lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: have no idea what those are 14. fluff or angst: fluff pls 15. beach or forest: beach!!!!!!! 16. dogs or cats: BOTH 17. clear skies or rain: BOTH 18. cooking or eating out: it depends on my mood tbh 19. Spicy food or mild food: both 20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: what 21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: a little too cold 22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be: stop time 23. animation or live action: animations 24. paragon or renegade: what 25. baths or showers: baths, even though i dont own a bathtub 26. team cap or team ironman: Iron Man 27. fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy 28. do you have three or four favourite quotes? not really 29. youtube or netflix: youtube 30. harry potter or percy jackson: hp, but pj was pretty awesome and diverse than hp.... actually I think I only like hp more bc of the movies, but pj... is very awesome too idk 31. when you feel accomplished: 6. dc or marvel: when i finish a drawing 32. star wars or star trek: star wars 33. paperback books or hardback books: as long as i have books 34. horror or rom-com: yikes rom-com 35. to live in a world without literature or music: death 36. pastel colours or dark colours: i love both!!!!!! 37. tv shows or movies: bitch everything is both here 38. city or countryside: city, but i too love contryside 39. if any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: i have no idea 40. if you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be: dont ask me that omg 41. cinema or theatre: cinema 42. if you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: midnigher’s 43. smiling or smirking: slut for both 44. are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent: i dont do anything so idk dude 45. playlists or your whole library on shuffle: shuffle 46. travelling or staying at home: traveling, but i would love staying at my own home 47. books or fanfiction: Both 48. If you could live in a fantasy world, what world would it be: huh, i had never thought about this, i cant answer now. but probably i would choose to live in one of my daydreaming shit 49. your favorite cartoon: idk i live irmão do jorel, a brazilian cartoon 50. name the weirdest five songs on your itunes, current or past: bruh im dont know 51. mountains or plains: both! 52. favorite anime (or tv show if you don’t watch anime): YURI ON ICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 53. which social media platform are you most like yourself on: Tumblr AND youtube 54. What are some of your passions: music 56. If you have a pet, do they do anything interesting/weird (like a cat that plays fetch, a bird that can say funny things, etc)? : not really. my cat sleeps funny sometimes hsajkdhas

[hellomissmabel]

Dark Bloom (For a moment, I was lost part 1)

MASTERLIST

Based on one of my favourite albums “For a moment, I was lost” by Amber Run.

This part is inspired by the song Dark Bloom.

Your best friend Caroline is none other than @mrshopkirk!

Pairing: Tony Stark x reader, Howard Stark x OC!Julia

Summary: A devastating loss brings you closer to the man you are destined to be with, but a family dalliance keeps you two apart.

Word count: 2.464

Warnings: Angst. Other than that, you’re safe.

A/N: I wanted to do something different and as it turns out, Dominic Cooper is one hell of an attractive Howard. Please excuse any historical errors and even the timeline that may or may not be entirely accurate. And yes, Julia is in fact my granny’s middle name. I really hope you enjoy this little fic series! Let me know of you want on or off the tag list.

A/N: There will be of course more Julia x Howard moments in the future!

He was completely different than you had imagined. Indoctrinated by all the infamous stories that went round, you had allowed your mind to coax an image of the man now standing in front of you, an image that fit the gossip on the streets but, much to your glee, was nothing but utter bunkum.

“Y/N, please stop running,” Natasha pants on your left, her hand gripping your shoulder with such force it slings you back a few steps.

“What did he say now?,” the redhead asks, voice low like a whisper. “Did Tony do something stupid again?”

You huff at her question. “He’s an arrogant son of a bitch.”

Nat lowers her head, her gaze locking on your white trainers. Her eyes are thoughtful when she looks up again, speaking in a hushed tone. “He’s afraid of losing you,” she states calmly.

“I should’ve never come to Stark Industries, damn it,” you groan in frustration, stomping your feet on the gravel below. “I should have never let him in my heart. Those Stark men are all the same.”

“Y/N, remember what Bucky said before you make any rash decisions.”

Come a little closer Feel it begin Just don’t forget to turn the lights off So we can a love a little darker

You met Tony in a rather unconventional way. Only recently confronted with the loss of your parents in a car crash, you and your best friend Caroline took it upon yourselves to make the inventory of your parents’ possession’s. Halfway through your mother’s belongings, you found a little jewellery box sitting on the top shelf of her wardrobe. It looked vintage and rather expensive, skimming your fingers over the delicate woodwork you tried to get a feel of the history imbedded in this little treasure.

Your curiosity finally got the better of you and soon enough the box was sitting next to you on the bed, your fingers travelling through the photographs and the letters collected inside. You recognised the woman on them immediately, having been compared to your grandmother far more than you can likely remember. You have the same hair colour, the same eyes, the same posture and the same height. Your mother used to joke that you looked more like your grandmother’s daughter than she did and upon her early death, one day you found yourself staring in the mirror, locking eyes with the reflection of a ghost.

There were countless of letters addressed to and from a man named Howard and this instantly peeked your curiosity. Caroline spurred you on and before you knew it, you found yourself reading through the words your beloved grandmother had exchanged with this mystery man. He always signed his letters with the same initials, H. S. and he always called your grandmother the girl in the pink sundress. Their exchange spoke of endearment and affection and you wondered how much this man had meant to your late grandmother. It was only when Caroline fished a stray photograph from between the pages of your granny’s diary, that your eyes fell on those of Howard Stark.

Your grandmother, Julia, was a trained nurse and born in the early 1900s as the only daughter of a privileged man who often held very exquisite parties for other rich people. Because that’s what you do when you’ve got too much money to spend, throwing parties and paying for numerous extravagant pleasantries. It was at one of these parties that Julia met Howard Stark, having been invited by her father for dinner and drinks afterwards.

Julia was wearing one of her favourite dresses, a pink sundress that in all modesty fell just below the knee and was in line with all the latest trends. She was easily the most beautiful woman at the party and from the first moment Howard stepped in, he was lost. Not one minute did he leave her out of his sight and when the opportunity arose to engage in a curt conversation with Julia’s father, he gladly took it with both hands.

She knew who he was and more importantly, what he was known for. A womanizer first class. Julia vowed she would stay clear from such characters yet she couldn’t help but sneak a sideways glance in his direction, marvelling at how dapper he looked from afar and wondering if he was even more enchanting up close. Little did she know that the exact reason her father asked Howard to be there that very evening was to make him a ‘business’ proposition he simply could not refuse. Or so he thought.

Julia’s father is a proud man who likes to take a risk every now and then. But risks have a tendency to turn out sour and over the past two years he had to cut his losses considerably. Julia never experienced any of it yet she did not remain absolutely oblivious to her father’s sudden involvement in her personal life. He became very adamant in his inquiries about who she was speaking with and who she was going out with. Julia’s a pretty girl but she’s never had a fella before, simply because she does not want to waste any time on the wrong man.

To say that Howard was surprised at her father’s bold proposal was an understatement. Yet Howard did say yes immediately, telling her father he wanted to hear it from Julia herself that she agreed to grant her his hand in marriage. It was the beginning of a beautiful affair, something that was meant to be but not meant to last. Howard loved Julia and Julia loved him in return, but other people soon stood in their way. Julia’s father did not mind although he too noticed the dirty looks the couple received on their way to their respectable destination. And then the war came, changing everything and everyone.

‘Cause I worshipped you, oh I worshipped you Like I’d always wanted to ‘Cause you, you’re a dark bloom You brought me down to my knees and I’m haunted by you

As a nurse, Julia spent most of her days at the hospital, tending to the wounds of many sick soldiers. Howard kept himself busy with the weapons manufactory and often visited the front lines. She was worried sick all the time and expressed her concern in the many, countless letters they exchanged during their time apart. Nevertheless, the moments they shared diminished and the feelings they harboured vanished into thin air the longer the distance separating the two of them and in his final letter, Howard eventually tells her to not wait for him.

When she broke down, her father assured her he would find her a more suitable suitor yet she refused fiercely, claiming her heart only beats for one man. Living a secluded, lonely life, Julia has lost the strength to continue living her life. Writing one last letter to Howard, she confesses to him that she has always sheltered that pink sundress she wore the day they first met. He never wrote a reply, instead cleared his desk from all trinkets and reminders of her existence and created a heart of steel for himself.

About a year later, young Julia treats a severely wounded soldier from the 107th with the uncertainty if he will ever make it through the night. But the man is determined to make it back home to his little brother and against all odds, his recovery is not the only miracle. During the days she spent nursing Jim as she learnt his name was, he talks about his regiment and about his duties as a sergeant. He tells her about Captain America and how he saved most of the men in his regiment. Slowly but surely she is falling for the handsome chap and a little over 6 months later he asks her to be his wife.

Julia married her sergeant and had one daughter. She never saw Howard again, yet often spoke of him to her baby girl. Jim didn’t mind as he understood the sting of love, having been rejected by his own sweetheart back home because she couldn’t take the wait any longer. The three of them made it work and lived a comfortable life until one day, after the daily newspaper had arrived at her doorstep, she dropped her cup of tea on the ground in shock, the headlines reading about the untimely death of Howard Stark and his wife, leaving behind their young son, Tony.

Tears started to flow freely, cascading down your cheeks and the contours of your face once you finished immersing yourself in the story of Julia and Howard. Determined to do right by their love, you picked up the phone and rang Stark Industries, demanding to speak to Tony Stark himself, personally.

Step out into the blue I’m invited by you Oh, I worshipped you, oh I worshipped you Oh, I worshipped you, now I’m haunted by you

This is how you came face to face with the man that stole your heart in a similar way as Julia. He had cordially invited you to one of his parties and in line with the dress code, you picked up a peach coloured dress with simple embellishments that channelled the forties fashion decade. Not one minute after you had set foot in the main room, your breath hitched in your throat at the sight of the genius, billionaire, playboy and philanthropist. Unbeknownst to your dazed senses, Tony had his eye on you from that moment on as well.

There was no other woman who could enchant Tony Stark that evening as much as you had, sharing only one dance partner as he twirled you around to the rhythm of whatever song they played next. The evening ended with a chaste kiss on the balcony, the view of the New York skyline stretching out before your eyes as they fluttered close upon meeting Tony’s lips. You promptly knew why your grandmother had fallen head over heels for Howard so quickly, a deep and sensual kiss causing your toes to curl in delight.

Fall a little further You smile a little wider Just don’t forget to turn the lights off So you can love a little darker

From then on, your days were different to say the least, Tony rarely left your side and you spent little time apart. If Tony was a king, then you were his queen and he made damn sure everybody at the tower knew how much he loved you. Taking you on countless romantic dates, each new one outmatching the previous, you relished in the experience of love at first sight. He’s not what you envisioned him to be, being fed lies by the media about his colourful persona. Yes, he is in every way just as much a ladies’ man as his father. Nevertheless, his commitment to you makes him someone else entirely.

However, his desire to sweep you off your feet also prevented you from breaking the news to him about why you had contacted him in the first place. You had talked for hours on end about everything you had in common and everything you had not, never steering the conversation in the direction of Julia and Howard’s dalliance because it simply didn’t cross your mind. Tony as well couldn’t allow this spark to die out as you had awakened a flame inside of him that none of his previous lovers had succeeded in and it reeled his mind with hope. Maybe you are the one.

Yet when the opportunity arose for you to finally disclose the romance your grandmother Julia shared with his father, he albeit closed to door to his heart right in front of you. He accused you of feeding lies to him, of tricking him into falling in love with you only to sell off your story to the highest bidder. “I bet it will make one hell of a novel,” he had thrown at you with a vicious grin, carding his hands through his messed-up dark brown hair, eyes red-rimmed with exhaustion taking its toll on your paramour.

Besides your best friend Caroline, only two other people knew about your family history. As Tony’s unofficial girlfriend (outside of the tower, you wanted to keep things on the down low because of Tony’s high profile job as well as character), you often roamed the tower at night and usually ended up at the swimming pool, just floating in the clear blue water as the moon shone down on you with its illuminating rays of tenderness.

Bucky, forced to stay awake by his shattering nightmares, regularly joined you on a nightly escapades and as there seemed to be an easy connection between the two of you, one evening you had shared with him Howard and Julia’s love story. As for Natasha, being the best spy you’ve ever come across (not that you have but that’s merely a detail), naturally she found it out all by herself.

'Cause I, I worshipped you, I worshipped you Like I’d always wanted to, always wanted to 'Cause you, you’re a dark bloom You brought me down to my knees and I’m haunted by you

Both of them reacted in a mixture of surprise and astonishment so naturally you expected Tony to be slightly thrown off as well. What you did not expect was for him to give you the silent treatment whenever you were in the same room and a cold shoulder once you tried to reach out to him. It tore you apart.

“You want some advice, kiddo?,” Bucky had softly offered when he found you curled up on the edge of the swimming pool. Silently you gave him permission to speak his wisdom, never anticipating his next words.

“If Julia had waited for Howard and Howard had fought his way back to her, neither you or Tony would ever have existed. The way I see it, Julia sacrificed her love for Howard to you could be with Tony.”

“I don’t understand, Buck. You hate Tony, why would you say such things?”

Bucky slung his arm around you and tucked you into his side, your body still wet from your swim and leaving wet stains behind on his red Henley. “Because it’s obvious you are as madly in love with him as Julia was with Howard.”

You look up to meet his eyes, the same reflective green-blue as the water below, tickling your feet and coating your body with little droplets. “I might not be his biggest friend but everybody deserves their shot at happiness.”

Oh, I worshipped you, I worshipped you Step out into the blue, I’m invited by you Oh, I worshipped you, I worsipped you Oh, I worshipped you, oh, I’m tortured by you

Part 2: Spark

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