#she has gone through so much LOL
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
mysticwiki · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
hi! i commissioned snickerdoobly on twitter for an icon of Millicent, my dnd Paladin! I've been playing her for about a year now in a Spelljammer campaign and she has gone through a lot. definitely check out the artist on twitter and consider supporting them 💜
some commentary below the cut!
i absolutely love how this came out and how it shows her updated look--a result of her breaking her oath to her previous deity known as Brooding Mother, an ancient and allegedly forgotten Thri-Kreen deity who is seeking vengeance against their Daughter (known as the False Daughter) who corrupted the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth that makes up the divinity for the Thri-Kreen.
Mother tried to burn Millicent alive in order to submit to their will after she questioned their will and authority, and accused them of using her and being untruthful. But with the power of her friend's love and aid, and some divine intervention from Bahamut, Millicent was saved and no longer serves Mother. She now has taken on an Oath of Friendship (a lovely homebrew you can view here) under Bahamut's guidance and tenets, an oath that will let her fight for her friends, loved ones, but most importantly fighting for the truth and justice that she deserves.
23 notes · View notes
fromtheseventhhell · 1 year ago
Text
Arya watched them die and did nothing. What good did it do you to be brave? One of the women picked for questioning had tried to be brave, but she had died screaming like all the rest. There were no brave people on that march, only scared and hungry ones. (Arya VI, ACOK)
--
The night she was caught, the Lannister men had been nameless strangers with faces as alike as their nasal helms, but she'd come to know them all. You had to know who was lazy and who was cruel, who was smart and who was stupid. You had to learn that even though the one they called Shitmouth had the foulest tongue she'd ever heard, he'd give you an extra piece of bread if you asked, while jolly old Chiswyck and soft-spoken Raff would just give you the back of their hand. (Arya VI, ACOK)
Arya: *restrains herself from acting out when captured by the Mountain and his men because she knows fighting back/being brave wouldn't accomplish anything*
Arya: *takes note of the temperments of several Lannister guards so that she can learn how to navigate around their behavior*
Fandom: Arya is a feral idiot with no self-control uwu 🤗
162 notes · View notes
jasontoddstherapist · 1 month ago
Text
PSA |
Yes this is a Jason Peter Todd centric blog, but it's also 100% supportive of Talia al Ghul. There will be no slander here. No perpetuating of the racist, misogynistic bullshit that drove the narrative divebomb of her character.
#Talia al Ghul#Talia al Ghul Appreciation#Blog PSA#Not a Brutalia stan but I support the shippers.#Fuck Grant Morrison#They were the catalyst for her being mischaracterized for near 20 years now.#I don't know if I believe them when they say they “remembered that scene wrong.”#Like... what?#Literally nothing in Talia's character or writing should have ever led you to think that of her.#And you're not a fucking fanfic author writing for tens to maybe a couple hundred readers Grant.#You were writing for an official canon work that thousands upon hundreds of thousands of people have read.#You had a duty to double check your facts before tarnishing the legacy of a character#that has been so incredibly important to the Batman history and story.#I'm of the belief that it was done at least in part to make Bruce the good parent#which is a bit of a hard thing to do after decades of him being a C- dad 90% of the time to the boys and pretty shitty to Stephanie.#Have also considered it was something done to make Damian more... Tragic? Sympathetic? Potentially.#But I'm not as confident in that as I am that it was motivated by the desire to make Bruce the good parent of the two.#Even if we dismiss those possibilities and the prejudices involved#Grant could have just gone through those issues again and went with the storyline where Brutalia gets it on#then Talia either never informs Bruce of the pregnancy or fakes a miscarriage like I think she did in the original pre Crisis plot.#After that she hides the pregnancy from Ra's and gives birth in secret. Maybe she has him trained in much the same fashion as Jason was.#Like there was definitely better options for Grant to live out their power fantasies through Damian in ways that didn't spit on Talia.#Anyway rant over.#Back to the regularly scheduled Jason reblogs lol.#Ξ Queued
6 notes · View notes
Text
I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god
#thoughts#oni talks#mean girls 2024#I think I may be the only person to kind of like it? like don’t get me wrong it is kinda ROUGH but it has so much potential and there’s bits#and pieces that I actually really enjoy or wish they had more of or just aahh#I’ve been nonstop thinking about the ideal version in my head like there’s so much potential obviously I’m biased by like a lot#since for one I know I tend to like stuff other people hate or don’t like but for two this sequel was weirdly way more relatable so maybe#I’m just projecting from my own personal experiences but Idc the POTENTIAL THERES SO MUCH ID WANNA DO INSTEAD#like there’s so many little details and characterizations that I wish was expanded on or fleshed out and it’s just like it feels like either#half baked or that it’s gone through too many edits it’s like it’s scared to exist?? like there’s some differences I love and wish they lol#leaned into but it’s like it was terrified to be too different? or like they were rushing the end especially#like in my ideal form it’s a tv show coz I think they honestly have enough that could be genuinely expanded in a way more interesting way#via that format probably not like a super extended series like you COULD but you’d definitely need more expansion but I could see the potent#but like idk one SOLID musical season with expanded character story and not like one of those rush cram shows like a good solid one#like Regina’s characterization is so fascinating but also feels like slightly off and like they could’ve leaned way more into things?#like I think keeping Regina as a closeted lesbian gives the greatest potential and interest for an expanded story#like I loved maybe the first half of the movie the most like that one song she sang to manipulate Aaron would work so much more perfectly if#she’s singing it about/to Cady? I also think in my ideal brain an cool flashback episode for Janis and Regina would be so cool coz there’s#so much you could flesh out in a flashback than you could in a retelling which while I do like the retelling since it lets you imagine thing#I just! potential! I also want more of them interacting and I do think changing Janis to be a lesbian works if they leaned more into it?#I also think in my ideal form janis would have more comeuppance or acknowledgement of her shit? I also think an arc of Regina coming out#like one thing they missed from the original is Regina playing soccer at the end & I think they could hint more towards that and maybe lean#more into her at home life in an expanded story way coz her mom is clearly like… yikes. granted maybe some of my views on the movie are too#biased by personal experience but like the way she snaps at her mom usually in my experience isn’t out of nowhere? like parents behind#closed doors. or frustrations with what her mom has clearly been putting on her the way she tells her mom not to talk about her body is very#like idk a lot of the characters in this version feel more real to me bc they act really similar to people I know irl so the expanded story#could be cool. another one that in my ideal brain would have more is Gretchen and especially her relationships with Regina as well as with#that one guy and her parents I wanna see more of how that works and her arc to feel more meaningful when she dumps him & mentions family#also as much as I didn’t care much for the straight plot stuff there’s 100% missed potential there that I could see in the differences like#iirc in the original it’s regular algebra not AP calc which I think could’ve been used as an interesting characterization opportunity for
5 notes · View notes
gentlethorns · 10 days ago
Text
you know what? i'm gonna say it. i miss being seventeen. not for the "glory days," bc they weren't, by a country mile lol. if i had glory days i'd say they were in 2020. but i miss the electricity, the constant undercurrent of euphoria and deep plunging black. i miss the fight i had. i was literally known for being scrappy. i was self-destructive and coping poorly, but goddamn if i didn't burn bright and long. it took me until my twenties to finally start to fizzle out. does the candle with its wax melted down to the base of its glass cage miss when the wick was lit?
#she bork#it's not even that i'm tired of fighting necessarily. clearly. if i was i wouldn't miss it. i think i miss being ABLE to fight. now i just#don't feel like i have the grit i used to have. i'm not sure if it's bc i'm healthier mentally or bc my energy has just dissipated over time#but i miss taking hit after hit (metaphorically) and wiping the blood from my lip and standing again and raising my fists. i don't do that#anymore. and again even if it's bc i'm healthier i'm not sure it's a good thing that that stubbornness and grit is gone. is it automatically#better to seek the path of least resistance? i'm not sure.#maybe it's learned helplessness? idk i mean logically one person can only suffer so much before they learn it's better not to fight or that#fighting isn't even always possible. but i've always struggled. i've always gone head-first into these things and white-knuckled it and made#it through even if only w self-violence (which was often remarked upon as self-discipline). now i feel like i just flounder and flop and cry#like a fish w a wailing voice on the dock as it loses its breath. i really do think it's partially bc i'm sane now but somewhere inside me#that crazy flame still dances. and ik that bc from time to time i still feel the heat against the sides of the glass. maybe it's a lack of#confidence. maybe it's that ik now that it's impossible to hate yourself into a different better shape (both physically and mentally). but#it was so exciting to try. if i'm miserable regardless i'd at least rather be having fun.#furthermore it could also be that my chaos is no longer external. a lot of what i have going on is internal/physical and it's a daily thing.#fighting daily is a lot harder than fighting through my shitty relationship or that one season of volleyball that destroyed me mentally lol#(ik that sounds ridiculous but it was pretty fucking bad). i'm no longer fighting against other people or external circumstances that i feel#a need to prove myself against. i'm fighting my own body which has proven a tougher match than anticipated. bc how can i? i live here. i#cannot will my body to function. i can swim against the currents of my illness and often do. but that's less glamorous than punching walls#and running for miles like i used to. i want to break a hand. i want to run three miles in half an hour. i want to doll myself up for a#dance and spend the whole night driving w the windows down strung out on a cocktail of cortisol and dopamine. i want to live in the eye of#the hurricane again. and i never will. and it's good but i think it's made me soft.
2 notes · View notes
orcelito · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
My druid has "fuckboy" written all over her
#speculation nation#shes a druid but she does Not look it. nor does she act like it really.#druid stuff exists to beef myself up as a front liner (spores druid ftw)#and to act as an excuse like 'whaaaat why r u so suspicious of me im a druid 🥺🥺🥺 i just want what's best for nature 🥺🥺🥺'#meanwhile here i am hogging ALL the worms we manage to find (or. well. most of them.)#bc im going full ham into my powers lol theyre so useful#this is a game of pressing Every button and seeing what happens. yet still going along the lines of good? approximately?#it very much does feel like the kind of thing a druid drow would do. willing to consort with the darkness#but still ultimately striving for peace and order.#i am just perhaps a little bug-brained to accomplish this :3#ive been playing a Lot of bg3. progressing well through act 2. everything is so very scary and i am just 1 druid 🥺#(i say as if i havent killed literally every single enemy ive come across. im so fucking good at this game.)#the house of healing was by far my least favorite part (so far). that boss battle was TERRIBLE but i managed to get through it.#according to my friends they just talked their way out of it. not me tho. i saw that guy strapped to the table and i was just like#'GET FUCKED BRO' *casts moonbeam* *proceeds to get the shit stabbed outta me*#holy shit he did so much damage. and he was focused ONLY ON ME.......#took me and shadowheart both healing to keep up with the damage he was doing (while astarion and karlach did most of the attacking)#but i did it! hes gone! but holy shit poking around his stuff has been so. eugh.#im in the towers now. so scary. just barely started them tho. gonna look for the prisoners and then proceed from there.#that ketheric dude is fucking terrifying. so big scared about him. but All Men Die The Same 😈#.....well maybe not exactly the same given his 'immortality' thing 😂 but i'll figure it out.#anyways yea check out taltana im going for a mixed feminine and masculine kinda vibes with her. and enjoying it very much.#bg3 spoilers/
11 notes · View notes
hirazuki · 2 months ago
Text
Between my dog (two gates, one for either entry of the kitchen), my cat (a gate around a fake plant she was obsessed with chewing bits off of and swallowing), my sister's dog (one gate for my sister's room where he hung out when no one was home because there was nothing there that he could jump up on, one gate for each of our bathrooms because he liked eating cat poop, and one gate around the couch because even when supervised he'd try to take running jumps onto it), and my sister's cat (a gate around a majesty palm that she would just not leave alone), we had eight gates in our 1000 sq ft. apartment. That's one gate more than Gondolin.
As of today, we have none, and it feels so weird.
3 notes · View notes
appalachy · 2 years ago
Text
My friend is going back to ukraine today and idk how to feel abt this especially with her joking she might not come back and not for obvious reasons but simply bc she might change her mind abt studying here
3 notes · View notes
arolesbianism · 1 month ago
Text
Sometimes I just look at Isabeau and just know that if isat came out and I got into it when I was like 16 he would be my favorite character and I would've gone absolutely buck wild over this man and feel like he was laser targeting me. But alas Odile has a grip of steel on me rn due to her virtue of being a middle aged woman
#rat rambles#stars posting#I feel like the biggest change in my taste in characters as the years have gone by is Im now far more biased towards old ppl lol#although tbf I was also the one person in 2016 who actually liked asgore so maybe Ive always liked parhetic old ppl#but yeah the reason isa is past me bait is because hes an exploration and subversion of the sort of tropes I Hated as a kid#and I still dont like them so isa still appeals to me its just not as much as he would have to a younger me#I do genuinely love all the party very dearly tho theyre all soooo good#I think my favorite part of isabeau is how like. of everyone we get to see the least facets of him but like in a very good way#this is a man who hides and bottles shit hes so fun to rotate#his self image is so carefully controlled compared to everyone else which makes him an incredibly interesting character to analyze#and I love that despite him seeming like the most emotionally stable person here on the surface he still clearly has like. hashtag issues.#like he's in that beautiful zone where its so so fun imagining what it would look like to truly break him#<- normal things that normal ppl say. like me.#I may have my very light beef with alt looping aus as a concept but hes probably the most interesting alternate looper to me#also my light beef exclusively relates to king quest stuff which is why Im a big fan of duo looper aus with sif#but honestly. isa might be the only one that I genuinely think works better as a solo looper even with taking king quest into account#although bonnie comes close. I <3 looper bonnie I <3 seeing fictional children go through the horrors#I think theres a lot of fun to be had with any alt looper au tho I just am a huge king quest fan so I like it when my favorite elements of#it dont have to be handwaved#but yeah the real question is how would younger me feel about mirabelle#because on the one hand: acearo character#but on the other hand: I have always been a little hater abt romance so idk if younger me would rly be able to follow her character well#I wasnt exactly good at character analysis back then lol#except for the instances in which I was but I dont have that sort of faith in my younger self#yknow Im thinking abt my history of favorite characters now and I think me being one of few 2016 alphys enjoyers might have been a prophecy#she was my quote unquote third favorite but in reality she was second#I think she chara and peridot su teamed up to define my taste in fictional characters for the next several years#and somehow that lead to olivia becoming one of my favorite fictional characters of all time#I say somehow as if that isnt a very natural conclusion
0 notes
communist-octoling · 5 months ago
Text
its always so wierd seeing those "90's kids nostalgia" compilations on like youtube because i was born in 2007 and can relate to alot of those. but then again i grew up poor so :/
0 notes
fingertipsmp3 · 6 months ago
Text
I love TS2 but it has some really stupid mechanics built into it
#so i had this family that was just two teen girls right? and on like day 2 of them being in the neighbourhood a really cute stray dog#showed up at their doorstep. so i was like 'ADOPT HIM IMMEDIATELY'#only. only i didn't think about how they would both be going to college soon and they can't take their dog to college!!!!!#also i'm playing the prosperity challenge in this neighbourhood which means there is basically a lot of rules built in#like not being able to use 'combine households' except in college or when moving a graduate back into their ancestral home#and.. just lots of stuff really#basically the dog would've been taken away by the city once i sent the girls away to college#i was like okay. here are my options. i can keep one of them at home and she can have a breakdown about never having gotten to go to colleg#OR i can give the dog to somebody#and the second option seemed like it was going to work out perfectly because the girl who initially adopted the dog has a girlfriend#who lives in another house. so i was like 'that's perfect; he can go live there. her gf's dad can take care of the dog and then#after graduation they can both just move in with him and get married and the dog will be there too and all that'll have happened#is that he'll have swapped houses. it'll be basically like she's just giving the dog to her gf's dad to take care of while she's at school'#but i kept trying to hand the dog over and it wouldn't work. the 'give pet' mechanic just wasn't working#so i ended up giving the pet up for adoption and both the girls were crying and it was so much :(#i did have the gf adopt the pet using the pet adoption service and he cost £3100??? why#listen. i love this dog. i wouldn't have gone through all this if i didn't. but he's not worth all of that#he's well trained and everything and i think he's supposed to be a bulldog but he does pee in the house and try to fight wolves#i just was sooo baffled at the fact that the 'give pet' function apparently isn't free?? then why are there two separate options#for 'sell pet' and 'give pet'. 'give pet' should mean it's FREE#TAKE THE DOG#so i had to gut the gf's dad's house in order for him to afford this stupid animal. he literally has no windows. rip#i'm ngl i hate his house so i was going to rebuild it anyway but it didn't have to happen this way#i guess all's well that ends well. the dog is where i was intending to put him; the girls are in college; and nobody is bothered#i just felt bad that they cried while he was being taken away and that he spent like .5 seconds in a shelter#while i frantically deleted windows lol#personal
0 notes
everybodysaycbx · 1 year ago
Text
.
#cant sleep...#feels weird that its been 10 years now. shes been gone for so long now but i remember it so well#the pains like a phantom pain tho. i can remember her without crying (tho i am now lol) and not all the memories hurt#but the pain isnt always detatched from the memories. that part of my childhood where she was always there feels......idk how to describe it#im always aware that its gone and sometimes i can live with the reality of it and appreciate my friendship with her#but sometimes the hurt comes back so forcefully and so painfully i want to scream and scream#and sometimes it feels like i am but i was just dissociated for a few hours#my family is still.....unsure of how to act when i exhibit pain about this. idk if its from guilt that they didnt help me initially or...#is it annoyance that this still affects me...maybe both. guess they cant get how my friends suicide when we were in high school would hurt#whether they feel guilty for how they didnt help it doesnt really matter ig bc i know they wont apologize no matter how much id like them to#idk what to do about it tho. i dont think i can just get over that at this point i mean ive waited 10 years#if anyone has advice dm me ig but dont tell me to let it go bc i just cant#ive made my peace with any culpability i have in her death and if her spirit harbors anger with me then thats fine#her family doesnt and has never seemed upset with me so i have no reason to be thinking it but idk. i just couldve done more#but whats done is done and dwelling on what couldve been is a bad road to go on. esp at almost 3 am#i hope and wish for her to be at peace and everyone who loved her to find it if they havent yet#if anyone else has had to go through this too know you can talk to me esp if you dont have anyone else#i had really no one i could talk to about it without feeling like i was burdening everyone else who was in the same situation at the time#and i dont want anyone else to feel like that so. i hope everyones well#otherwise if that doesnt apply to you but you want to cheer me up send me some cute videos or memes or whatever#ive been trying to keep my mind off it for the most part since ive had to work and dont want to have a breakdown there lol#and i have to work tonight so that would be helpful#but anyway i think thats enough of my rambling and depressing thoughts#tw: death#tw: suicide
1 note · View note
busylilbee · 1 year ago
Text
The Vibe of my life at the moment is my best friend and I discussing going on a 40+ drive through largely remote grizzly territory where we would be sleeping in our car with all of our food and shit and being like "if the car gets attacked by a bear in the night and we have to scramble to the front to make a get-away half asleep at least it will be a funny story"
1 note · View note
thewidowsledger · 2 months ago
Text
Bearer Of The Seed
© thewidowsledger 2024 - DO NOT REPUBLISH AND PLAGIARISE
Tumblr media
Pairings: Targaryen!Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader
Word count: 5.1k
Tags | Warnings: +18, HOUSE OF THE DRAGON AU, AMAB!Natasha, Targayen!Natasha, smut, angst (sex just for the obligation of making heirs), forced marriage (political arrangement to save reader's family), Natasha plots to make reader pregnant while reader plots to deceive Natasha lol, lots of chasing, top!Natasha, bottom!reader, dubious consent, breeding kink, rough sex, bleeding (reader is a virgin), creampie, fingering (r receiving), overstimulation & squirting (r receiving)
Author’s Note: Tiger cub!!!! 🐅 Thank you so much for your request and I hope I wrote your request the way you imagined it to be. Yey, my first fic request done! There are more, hihi <3 ps. I am not actually back yet, I just wanted to post this ksksskskss
Navigation | Masterlist
“Rest and heal, my sweet. And I will make sure to make up for the night we missed,” she said in a soft and gentle tone, only for you to hear as you continued to lie there, your eyes closed in what appeared to be a deep and restful sleep.
“I’ll have you full of my seed in no time.”
She caressed your face for the last time gently before leaning down to kiss your forehead.
“Father, smith, warrior. Mother, maiden, crone, stranger…”
The words felt like acid on your tongue. Each one stinging you as they leave your lips. You loathed having to say them. You loathed having to agree. This wasn't some love match. It was the voice of a prisoner accepting their fate.
You force yourself to keep your eyes on Natasha, refusing to blink despite the tears forming. You will not cry. Not in her presence. You will not give her that satisfaction. So you try your best to stand tall, to be defiant. Though it's hard when you feel so completely defeated as you said the final words that will seal you both forever.
“I am yours...and you are mine. From this day...until the end of my days.”
The last word was hardly out of your mouth when Natasha took a step forward and captured your lips with hers. Natasha’s grip on your hips tightens as she pulls you firmly against her. Her lips are rough and insistent as they move against yours. You can feel the tension and desire coursing through her as she claims your mouth in a possessive, greedy kiss.
With what seems like great effort, Natasha breaks the kiss. She takes a step back and you notice a sly smirk slowly appear on his face as she watches you try to catch your breath and you so badly wanted to wipe that on her face. Clearly, she was enjoying the effect she had on you, but you will not make this easy for her.
You will make sure to play this game on your hands, not hers.
“Heirs…”
Hearing your now family bring up the subject of heirs, made you feel a lump form in your throat. It was something you'd tried to avoid thinking about, but you knew it was a reality you would have to face.
Natasha didn't even flinch. She seems confident and unbothered, like she has no concerns in that regard. She responds without missing a beat.
“Oh, we’ll have heirs. Plenty of them, in fact.”
Natasha's grip on your hands tightens slightly, you force a tight-lipped smile on your face as you struggle to appear calm.
“I will make sure that our marriage bed will not lack heat. We’ll have as many children as the gods see fit to bless us with.” She added with such confidence.
You knew that the celebration was coming to an end and you were starting to feel overwhelmed by the noise and the crowd—by her. The air felt hot and stifling. Without saying a word, you excused yourself but as you stood Natasha didn't let go of your hand. So you eyed her intently authoritatively and she immediately released your hand, you didn't miss the flicker of hesitation and fear in her eyes. Her usual confident and authoritative demeanor seemed to be gone for a moment, revealing just the slightest crack in her armor.
As you walked, a small smirk tugged your lips, it gave you a sense of satisfaction, knowing that you had the power to affect her in that way. For a brief moment, you felt like you were in control, that you had some bargaining power in this situation.
Of course you do, you will play this game right on your palm, right?
You stepped into the cool night air of the corridors outside, you tried not to let your emotions get the best of you as you thought about the fact that your family had been saved, you realized just how high the cost was. Natasha had saved you from ruin, but the price was steep. You were now the payment, a pawn in a larger game of power and politics. Knowing that you were traded like a piece of livestock in exchange for your family’s safety, it was a bitter pill to swallow.
One of the foremost was the fact that you will need to carry the child of someone you didn't really know. Natasha Romanoff was a complex and dangerous woman, unpredictable, impulsive and arrogant—those are the only things you know about her. So the thought of being connected to her through a child was unsettling, to say the least. Yet you knew, as soon as the words of the scripted vows you loathed to say forcefully fell from your lips, there was no turning back.
It is inevitable or perhaps it can be avoided?
You were lost in your own thoughts, worrying about your future, when the maid servant's voice broke your train of thought.
“The celebration is over, your Grace. The King will be expecting you in her chambers.”
Her words and the instructions were simple, but they sent a shiver of unease through you. But you wanted to test the waters, you wanted to test who among you holds such power to the both of you.
“Let her know that I am denying her request,” you replied coldly as the night breeze.
“But your Gra—”
“Tell her that.” you cut her off with a finality, “I’ll be at my chambers, I’ll retire early for tonight.” You added, hinting that if she wished to prove the power she has on you, she will come and show you.
The night slipped away and you opted for the secret chambers that only and your maester, Wanda knew. Inside, you hoped to find solitude and respite from the pressures and chaos of the day.
You stayed in the dimly lit room, the only light provided by a few flickering candles, as the night went on. You didn’t know whether or not Natasha had come to your original chambers, expecting to find you there.
But you will make sure not surrender yourself, not without a fight.
Natasha was growing increasingly frustrated as she recounted different excuses from the maid servants every time she inquired about you. She hadn't seen you since the night of your wedding, and the more time passed the more suspicious she became.
Another maid servant entered her headquarters and she is for sure to deliver another excuse from you.
“The Queen is not feeling well, you Grace.”
The maid servant stood before the King, her hands clasped in front of her nervously as she delivered her message.
“What happened? What does the maester say the issue is?” The suspicion that she had in mind is now gone and is replaced by a deep concern for you.
“Well, you Gr—”
“I will go and check on my wife.”
“I fear the Queen doesn’t want anyone in her chambe—”
“I’m not anyone, I am her King. I am her wife.”
Without another word of excuse, she rose from her seat and stalked out of the room. The King wasted no time making her way through the halls of the Keep, her steps were loud as she walked towards your chambers.
The moment Natasha stepped into the chambers, her eyes immediately fell upon your pale form lying in the bed. She was by your side in an instant, her hand reaching out to touch your forehead—and she could feel the heat radiating from you.
“Gods, you’re burning up,” she muttered, as she took in your sickly appearance.
Natasha's eyes darted to the maester as she confirmed that you would be fine in time, and that you had been examined already.
“And what is the cause of her sickness?” she questioned, her gaze returning to you.
Wanda cleared her throat, as she darted her eyes on your sleeping form. She breathed, shutting her eyes before she explained the cause of your illness.
“It appears the Queen has fallen ill due to stress and exhaustion,” she said with a shaky voice, as she watched Natasha softly caress your body. “And it would be best for her to be left alone for a few days, allowing her body to rest and recover,” she added, finally eyeing the King.
“Days?” Natasha repeated as if she didn't hear it clearly.
“Yes…”
Natasha let out a heavy sigh, her mind conflicted. On one hand, she wanted to keep you in her sight and she wanted you to be okay now so she could spend the nights with you fulfilling the obligations of making a long line of heirs. On the other, she knew the maester was likely right about your need for solitude and rest.
“Rest and heal, my sweet. And I will make sure to make up for the night we missed,” she said in a soft and gentle tone, only for you to hear as you continued to lie there, your eyes closed in what appeared to be a deep and restful sleep.
“I’ll have you full of my seed in no time.”
She caressed your face for the last time gently before leaning down to kiss your forehead.
As she withdrew, she turned to the Wanda who was standing just outside the doorway of your chamber. “Do everything you can to ensure that she is well soon,” she instructed.
“Yes, your Grace.”
As soon as Natasha left your chambers, you slowly and stealthily got up from the bed where you had been feigning sleep. Your body trembled slightly as you inhaled deep breaths, the adrenaline coursing through your veins. You were grateful that your plan had worked, and that Natasha had believed your act of being sick.
Wanda, your trusted maester and ally in your plan, looked at you with a sigh as you got up from the bed.
“I told you hot water and a cloth would do the trick,” she said, referring to the method she suggested to fake your elevated temperature.
“I’ll have you full of my seed in no time.”
“My Grace, are you alright? Are you really sick now? You look pale.”
You snapped back to the present, your mind still replaying Natasha's words from earlier when she spoke to you while you were pretending to be in a deep slumber.
“I’m fine,” you assured Wanda, your voice a little shaky. “Just a bit…tired, that’s all.”
Tired of all this.
“Well, I shall leave you alone then, my Grace.”
Wanda has been the first person you became close with, and she has been nothing but supportive to cover up for you and your plans. You even heard her lie for you just a while ago and that was not even a part of your plan. But when the King asked about your condition—your fake condition, she still did with no hesitation.
“Thank you, Wanda.”
It had been several days since Natasha’s visit, and you had successfully managed to avoid her so far due to your pretense of being sick. Now, you were stepping out into the gardens, seeking a change of scenery and some fresh air.
The gardens were a lovely sight, the sun shining brightly and the flowers in full bloom. You strolled along the pathways, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere.
As you were walking in the garden, relishing the tranquil surroundings, your eyes caught a glimpse of something or rather, someone—in the distance. It was Natasha, standing next to Caraxes, the Blood Wyrm.
Her gaze was fixated on you and you could tell that she was surprised to see you out and about, considering the fact that you were supposed to be unwell. And now, she is making her way over to you.
Your instincts kicked in immediately, and your first thought was to run. Without hesitation, you darted through the gardens, your heart racing as you navigated the twisting and turning paths of the maze.
As you ran, adrenaline pumped through your veins, and you quickened your pace, determined to elude her as long as possible.
You were dressed in a gown made of flowing silk, the fabric soft and lightweight against your skin. The hem of the dress brushed against the grass as you ran, occasionally catching on the leaves of the maze bushes.
You sprinted through the maze, dodging and weaving between the high walls of greenery. As you continued running through the maze, your heart rate spiked ever higher when you caught a glimpse of Natasha through the gaps in the leaves.
Seeing her so close, so determined to find you, sent another jolt of adrenaline through your body, the fight-or-flight response kicking into high gear.
Although you were aware that she would eventually catch you, you refused to let her have an easy victory. You steeled yourself, determined to play this game in your own hands.
The twists and turns of the maze became your playground. Every time you thought she was closing in, you would change direction, taking unexpected forks that would put some distance between you again.
As you sprinted through the maze, looking back in the direction you last saw Natasha, a sudden body slammed in front of you. The force knocked you off balance, catching you off guard.
A pair of hands locked around your arms, effectively trapping you, preventing any further escape.
“Are you running away from me?”
As you met Natasha’s intense gaze, your heart raced and your words came out in a slight stutter. “Y-your Grace…” you started to say, but your mind was too preoccupied with the situation to form a coherent response.
You gulped as you looked away, and then replied with a shaky voice. “No, your Grace,” you said, your eyes still fixed on the soil where you were standing. Despite your denial, there was undeniable fear in your voice.
“I was expecting that you’re still in your chambers, resting. Wanda told me you’re still sick.”
“I wanted to go out, g-get some fresh air…”
“You should’ve come to me so I will go out with you.”
“I…” you hesitated for a moment, wanting to be careful on how you’re going to say the next words, “I wanted to have some time alone, y-your Grace.”
Her grip on your arms relaxed slightly as she heard your response. “I haven't had a night alone with you since our wedding, Y/N,” she said, she sounded a bit disappointed that made you hitch your breath.
“Look at me.” She commanded, leaving no room for disobedience. And you slowly did, as your gazes met, her eyes softened with a little fire of an intense desire, and her proximity to you made your heart race even faster.
In a swift and dominating move, Natasha closed the remaining distance between you and claimed your lips in a searing kiss. Natasha sensed your attempts to resist so she deepened the kiss, her tongue demanding entry, as her hands on your arms pulled you even closer to her.
Your resistance was a futile battle and you finally surrendered to her but you fought not to moan as her tongue explored the cavern of your mouth, leaving you breathless and vulnerable. As Natasha moved her attention towards your neck, her lips and tongue trailing along the sensitive skin, you tilted your head back, submitting to her control.
Her lips left your neck as she leaned towards your ear, her words a low, seductive whisper.
“I shall be expecting to see you in my chambers tonight.”
The evening had arrived, and Natasha made her way to her chamber, fully expecting to find you there—in her bed in all your glory. However, as she entered the room, her eyes scanned the space, but you were nowhere to be seen. Her initial confusion quickly turned into seething anger as she realized you didn’t follow her command.
She wasted no time and stormed through the corridors, her patience wearing thin. It has been far too long, and she is determined to have you, one way or another. Her strides were purposeful and filled with seething anger, her mind set on one mission.
To find you and bring you to her bed.
As soon as she stepped into your chambers, her eyes slowly adjusted to the dim light. She approached the figure lying in the bed, she leaned closer to get a better look of you, and when she dipped her knee to the soft bed, the figure suddenly moved, emitting a piercing scream. Startled, Natasha let out a gasp, quickly realizing it wasn’t you but your maid servant.
“Y-your Grace!” The maid servant rushed out apologetically as she immediately threw the thick covers out her body and stood.
“Where is Y/N? Why are you in the Queen’s bed?!” Natasha demanded.
“Queen Y/N noticed I-I wasn’t feeling well and…well, I am fine but-but the Queen insisted that I am not fine,” the maid servant’s hands flew in different direction as she tried to explain herself, “and she told me…she insisted that I should rest, right here, in her bed. And she left.” The maid servant scrambled, the words coming out in a rush from her lips not wanting to receive the seething anger of the King.
“Forgive me, your Grace…please.”
The maid servant's continuous apologies grew quieter as Natasha's attention shifted. Her gaze moved towards the window, where she spotted a figure dashing towards the garden maze. She instantly recognized it was you, and a sly smile tugged at her lips. Ignoring the maid servant, Natasha stepped towards the window of your chambers.
Once again, you found yourself racing through the labyrinthine maze, your breath coming in short gasps as you desperately sought an escape. The twists and turns of the paths seemed to taunt you, creating a confusing web to ensnare you. Fear and adrenaline coursed through your veins, your mind focused on one goal and that is to survive the night without having to spend it on the King’s bed.
Natasha’s voice echoed through the night, “Making a maid servant sleep in your own bed, just to fool me?”
Despite the gasp that escaped your lips at the sound of Natasha's seething voice, you refused to let it slow you down. Your legs propelled you forward, your bare feet pounding against the cool grass as you continued your race through the maze. There was no time for looking back, only the need to elude her pursuit.
“You were never ill, Y/N!”
As you ran through the maze, the tears of fear started to well up in your eyes, causing you to shut them tightly shut. The emotions coursing through you were overwhelming—fear, defiance, and the weight of the situation hitting you all at once. Yet, amidst it all, a small part of you stubbornly held onto the hope that you could somehow escape Natasha.
Just as you rounded a corner in the maze, a strong body suddenly locked onto you, arms encircling you like a vise grip. Caught off guard, you let out a gasp in surprise, struggling against the strong hold. The realization that Natasha had finally caught you struck you like a bolt of lightning.
“I knew you heard me that time…I never lied when I said I will make sure you’re full of my seed.”
In a swift and effortless motion, Natasha scooped you up and threw you in her shoulders, her strong grip on your thighs unyielding as she carried you to her chambers. You tried to resist, squirming and fighting against her, but her strength was undeniable. Despite your attempts to break free, it was clear that you had no chance of escape.
The game is no longer in your hands. It never was.
The guards stationed nearby stood at their positions, their eyes averted from the scene. They could only watch as Natasha carried you flailing in her arms, your screams piercing the air. Fear for their own lives kept them in place, knowing full well that they could have their heads off if they bothered to look in your direction.
“Lock the doors!” she barked, her tone leaving no room for questions. The guards obeyed, swiftly securing the chamber doors, sealing you and Natasha inside. Without a moment of hesitation, she hurled you onto her bed, the force of her throw causing you to bounce slightly upon the plush mattress.
“Strip,” she commanded in a low voice that made you shiver in fear, “Remove every piece of clothing you wear. I want to see my wife before me in all her naked glory. Do not forget to remove any trinkets or tokens you may be wearing.”
Your hands were shaking when you let your dress slip to the floor, revealing your vulnerable form, your body betrays you with gooseflesh. Tears well up in your eyes, spilling over and cascading down your cheeks.
Natasha watched, sitting at the bed as you stripped the last piece of clothing out of your body.
Her cold, green orbs leisurely take in every inch of your bare flesh. They linger on the fullness of your breasts, the pebbled peaks begging for her touch. Her gaze trails down to the small, dark mole at the side of your breast, a unique birthmark that she commits to memory.
Her eyes continue their languid descent, taking in the slight roundness of your belly soon to be full of her seed, the flare of your hips, and the soft curls at the juncture of your thighs. She studies the glistening evidence of your fear and humiliation, the pink folds of your pussy already swollen and slick.
The shame of your nakedness burns through you like a physical touch, amplified by the fact that Natasha remains fully clothed. Her silken robes and velvet cloak seem to mock your naked form, the heavy golden brooch at her shoulder a stark reminder of the game is now holding place in her hands.
A cruel smile plays on Natasha’s lips as she sees the shame and fear in your eyes. She rises once more, her tall form towering over you. Her hands go to the sash at her waist, undoing it with deliberate slowness.
The silk slithers to the floor, pooling around her feet. She begins to slowly unlace her leather breeches, her gaze locked with yours. As the garment falls away, revealing her hardened cock, you can't help but gulp, your eyes wide with trepidation.
She stepped closer to you, caressing your cheek. You didn't know why but you leaned in to her touch as she wiped the tears off your face. She looked at your glossy eyes before she leaned forward, her lips pressing against yours in a soft, yet commanding kiss. Your lips part instinctively, allowing her to sweep her tongue inside, claiming your mouth as hers.
“Open wider,” she demands, breaking the kiss to gaze down at you. She tilts your head back further, forcing your mouth open wider. She kisses you again, this time her tongue probing deeper, exploring the warmth of your mouth. She sucks on your bottom lip, pulling it between her teeth and biting down gently.
Your breath hitches, a soft whimper escaping your throat as her kiss becomes more intense. Her hands tangled in your hair and you can't help but moan softly, the sound muffled against her lips.
Natasha broke the kiss and sees the raw innocence in your eyes, the moisture making them glisten like jewels. Your lips are swollen and parted, a thin string of saliva stretching between them, quivering as you suck in ragged breaths. Her gaze darkens with lust and satisfaction.
“My bed has been lacking...heat,” she murmurs, her voice low and gravelly. She reaches out, wiping the saliva from your chin with her thumb. “And you, my sweet, are going to warm it tonight.”
You took a step backwards and tilt your head to the side to avoid her touch.
“You make it difficult,” she says, her voice tight with frustration, “to fulfill the one duty that should be simple. I have conquered cities, bent knees to mine, tamed dragons...And yet, you make it hard for me to plant my seed in your womb.”
“Am I just a bearer of your offspring?” You pinched your brows together, finally eyeing the King as the tears cascaded down your face.
“Yes,” she replied bluntly, undressing herself, “in this, you are.” As her clothing falls away, revealing her breasts and her tanned, muscular body, she meets your gaze squarely. “But know this, my sweet, you are not just any bearer.”
“You are my Queen—my own wife who dared to deceive and defy me,” she says as she steps forward, her eyes roaming over your body hungrily. “And when I have won, when you carry my child, you will be the mother of my heir.”
“And perhaps,” she says, her voice dropping to a near whisper as she leans over you, “when this is done, when my line is secured, you will be something more.” Her gaze holds yours captive. “But for tonight, you are simply the woman I must breed.”
Your heart shatters in your chest as she speaks those words. The cold, hard truth of her intent cuts deep, each word a knife twisting in your soul. You are not her beloved, her equal, but a tool, a vessel to bear her child and you knew it from the beginning.
Without you carrying her offspring, you are nothing.
Natasha then grabs you roughly, flipping you around and throwing you onto the bed. She climbs over you, positioning herself behind your ass.
With a sudden, brutal motion, she thrusts herself inside you, ignoring your cries of pain as she tears through your resisting body. She groans in satisfaction, her hands gripping your hips as she begins to rut into you with merciless force, her dragon's strength overpowering any objections you might have.
“You are mine now,” she growls, her breath hot against your ear. “No more defiance, no more resistance. You will bear my child, as is your purpose.” Each word is punctuated by a hard thrust, her hips slamming against your ass cheek with brutal intensity.
She pulls out of you suddenly, her thick cock glistening with your virgin blood. Natasha flips you over, pushing your hips in the bed. Her body pressed heavily against yours as she positioned herself between your legs. Without warning, she slams back into you, her dragon-sized cock splitting you open.
You're screaming now, your voice echoing off the walls as she fucks you with brutal, animalistic intensity.
She moves to silence your screams and releases your mouth long enough to trail her lips down your body, pausing to suckle at each breast roughly, her teeth scraping against your sensitive nipples.
“You are so tight around me, Y/N,” she groans, her voice low and possessive. “Your body was made just for my pleasure. Your virgin hole is so snug, clasping around me like a glove. You were made to be filled by me, to bear my children.”
Her hands grip your thighs, spreading you wider, allowing her to bury herself deeper. As she grinds her hips against yours, she leaned down and your hands immediately claw at her back, your fingernails digging into her skin.
Her muscled back flexes under your desperate, clawing hands. You feel each ridge of muscle, the hard strength of her. Despite the pain she's causing, despite the brutal taking, your body responds to her, your core clenching around her cock as you feel her powerful body move against yours.
“Y-your…Grace…” you called out for her, mouth open as she tore you apart. You held her neck and the silver locks of her hair, your legs crossed at her waist.
“You’re my Queen.” She growled in your ear.
“Yes, your Grace!” You cried out in pain and pleasure.
“Then you will take what I give you, you will be painted with my seed and soon enough you’ll bear my heir.”
Her words made your pussy clench even tighter around her massive cock. She feels it, her thrusts becoming even more powerful as she drives her seed deep into your womb.
She straightens up, her hands gripping your hips as she slams into you one final time. Her body stiffens, her head thrown back in a silent roar as she finds her release. She grinds her hips against yours, ensuring every drop is deep inside you.
Natasha pulls out of you slowly, her eyes locked onto your well-stretched opening. She watches as her seed begins to leak out mixing with your virgin blood, a possessive growl rumbling in her chest. Without hesitation, she pushes the escaping seed back inside with her slender fingers.
“My seed stays inside you,” she continues to push her fingers inside you, scooping up her own seed and forcing it back into your walls, making sure it's as deep inside you as possible. She repeats this process several times, her fingers pumping in and out of you as she ensures her claim is secure.
The sensation of her fingers pushing into you, combined with the gentle throbbing from her earlier pumps, becomes too much to bear. You can feel yourself growing more and more sensitive, the line between pleasure and pain blurring. You moan, your voice barely a whisper.
“Your Grace...it's too much…”
She ignores your plea, her voice dark as she murmurs, “It’s Natasha for you, my sweet.” Her fingers continue to push into your overstimulated hole, the motion causing you to convulse around her.
“Natasha…” you stammer, her name tumbling from your lips like a prayer as the intense sensation consumes you. Her name on your lips, filled with such raw emotion, makes her own stomach flutter.
You convulse violently, your body shaking uncontrollably as a gush of liquid spurts out from between your thighs. Natasha muffles her approval against your neck, her voice thick with satisfaction as she feels the evidence of your spend.
“Say it again,” she demands, her fingers continuing to pump into you as the aftershocks wrack your body. “Say my name like that again, Y/N.” Her own control is slipping, your words affecting Natasha more than she’d like to admit. You whimper, your voice hoarse.
"N-Natasha...Natasha...only...only you…” Each word is punctuated by a sharp breath as your body continues to spasm around her fingers. She lets out a low groan, her head dropping to your shoulder as she listens to you beg for her alone.
“You’re so good for me,” she praises, her voice rough with desire. She withdraws her fingers from your dripping pussy, bringing them to her mouth to clean them with a hungry suckle. Her eyes never leaving yours as she does so, drinking in the sight of her Queen overcome with pleasure.
“From now on, you will sleep in this same bed as mine so I can ensure that you remain well-bred every night.”
1K notes · View notes
beatcroc · 2 months ago
Text
200
Tumblr media
aka ''who do you play in ringracers'' well, 1, the whole fucking roster at once, 2, every most extreme/polarized/minmaxed edge of the stat layouts, and 3, mecha sonic specifically.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
everybody give it up for 100 hours of ringracers
#see magician is just the random button because she shuffles what character and therefore what *stats* she is on every lap of every race#which is really funny to have as my top played bc none of her character data shows up anywhere on the heatmap#so that's jsut like a solid third of my race playtime that's gone right in the hole and isn't really reflected anywhere else#anyway magician i use for pretty much everything if i don't have a specific other goal but mostly shes for online play#which is why my winrate there is extremely middling lmfao#i like her bc a character who is the random button is objectively hysterical and it keeps things interesting for me to have to handle#wildly varying stats on the fly like that. most importantly though her horrid 𝓞𝓞𝓞𝓗𝓞𝓗𝓞𝓗𝓞𝓗𝓞𝓗𝓞𝓗𝓞𝓗𝓞𝓗𝓞 cackle is unbeatable#mecha is largely the same in terms of being a general purpose guy but he's also both max speed and max weight#the high-speed heavyweights are my natural preference for general normal racing. and more importantly he is mecha sonic.#he's just uh. kind of unwieldy half the time because higher weight is directly proportional to worse turning and the speed exacerbates it#so i do suffer on many tracks. but that obviously hasn't stopped me#redz is the other corner; high weight low speed#he has a very high number of matches played and an abysmal winrate because i have been using him for the newly-unlocked SPB mode#which for the non ringheads is basically : the spb is this game's blue shell equivalent with the funny caveat of#you can actually outrun it as long as you play perfectly optimally and stay at or just barely below your character's max speed#so spb mode is where they make you do an entire race with that thing chasing you and pretty much if you make a single misstep you die#the high weight is preferred here because light characters lose more speed through tighter turns#so the bad handling is more of a safeguard in this case bc i want to be doing that as little as possible#low speed is directly proportional to better accel which youd think would be its own reward but frankly#you die so instantaneously if you fuck up there is no amount of good acceleration that can save you. it's ACTUALLY useful in that#the closer you are to minimum speed and maximum weight the more quickly you get turbos from drifting#which are absolutely key to survival in balancing the speed you lose from turning. also: funny snake/dinosaur robot#shadow is max speed minimum weight and he's exclusively for time trials which is why he has a perfect winrate lol#naturally; faster characters more easily get you better times and you're gonna want the handling to really tackle the turns head-on#you also more or less have effectively infinite turbo once you know what youre doing so the losing speed on sharp turns cancels itself out#metal sonic is starting roster and was just the guy i used before unlocking anyone i liked more. you'll notice that#i havent played any additional matches as him since the first pic. but he does also demonstrate my high speed high weight preference lol.#and then silver is minimum speed minimum weight. for target test. which is time trials to hit specific points on the battle arenas#you're going to be ding a lot of zipping around at crazy angles and very little sustained distance driving. so you want efficiency#for Getting Up And Going as easily possible+general good maneuverability. and of course also. he is silver. my darling baby boy
15 notes · View notes
prettiedup · 6 months ago
Text
prettiest thing ୨ৎ
prettiest thing pt2 ୨ৎ
Tumblr media
you and onyankopon rarely argue. you’re his good girl, you never had a remark or debated with anything he said. he would never tell you anything to hurt you or put you in harm's way which is why you allowed him to be the provider and the thinker of the relationship while you just had to be pretty and spend his money. it’s a dynamic that the both of you liked and preferred. another reason why the dynamic works so well is because onyankopon is naturally dominant, he tends to take over situations without even trying. that goes for both his personal and business life.
you hated when those moments of tranquility between the two of you got interrupted from emotions and overthinking. both you and onyankopon are very secure people, there’s no qualms about attractiveness and if your personalities matched up. but, at the end of day you’re human. and with onyankopon being your first ever serious boyfriend, you sometimes doubted yourself and even worse; him and the relationship. you couldn’t help it! you really couldn’t, you tried to remind yourself that onyankopon has never given you a reason to doubt him but your overthinking didn’t care.
your bottom lip pokes out as your glossy eyes reread the map. onyankopon’s location is nowhere to be found and your man always shares his location with you. most of the time, the roles were reversed and he was very stern about you sharing your location with him 24/7. you couldn’t understand why he’d suddenly stop sharing it with you. your heart thumps heavily in your chest as you instantly start thinking about the worst.
“when’s the last time y’all talked?” zinnia asks. she sits beside you, a look of irritation etched onto her face.
you sniffle as you think back to the last time you talked to onyankopon. he had been driving you home after a long day of running errands. they were more so his errands than yours but you just wanted to be around him so you begged him to let you come with. the day has started off great. the two of you laughed, rapped and sung songs together, the vibes were just right. it was nearing night when onyankopon had gone inside the wingstop to order the two of you food as a completion of the day. while he was inside the restaurant, you were on his phone; scrolling on his facebook. you always claimed his facebook is way more interesting than yours which is why you lurked on people’s accounts through his. as you were reading facebook drama in a very messy comment section, onyankopon’s phone suddenly gets a notification from instagram.
‘you’re welcome handsome’. almost instantly, your hands begin to shake as you press the notification tab. you watch, breathless, as messages pop up from onyankopon and the mystery woman. onyankopon had posted a video of himself on his story. of course he looked good, your man always does. he’s an attractive guy so you had prepared yourself from the beginning to witness women texting and complimenting him. which is fine, but you would've never thought he’d disrespect you by responding back. with a shaky finger, you scrolled to the beginning of the message thread which wasn’t very far.
‘you so fine omggg’ which is something you’ve seen many girls telling him. your eyes focus on what the man had said back,
‘lol preciate it ma 💗’ you didn’t know if you wanted to scream or cry. ma? a heart? you couldn’t understand why he decided to respond to her in the first place. taking an uneven breath, you locked his phone and threw it down into the cupholder. tears form in your eyes as you stare out of the window, watching as cars of various sizes and colors zoom past the parked car. so many thoughts were racing through your head, you’ve never felt so much betrayal in your life. you sniffle as a few spare tears roll down your face.
when onyankopon returns with two wingstop bags and a holder that had two large cups sitting in it, he’s all smiles. his gold grills glint under the streetlight. he opens the door and sees right away that your attitude has completely changed. he can’t stop the confused expression from forming on his face. he sets the cups into the cupholders and the wingstop bag onto your lap. he doesn’t pull off right away. instead, he sits there for a few moments trying to wreck his brain on what could have possibly gone wrong in the span of about ten minutes.
“what’s wrong, mama?” he asks, cautiously.
you don’t respond, vocally. instead of using your words you just twist your body towards the door and tilt your head completely towards the window. you were so upset with him, just hearing his voice caused you to grow ten times more upset. your sniffles fill the quiet car while onyankopon waits for you to reply to him.
he raises an eyebrow as he comes to the realization that you’re not going to respond to him. “you don’t hear me talkin’ to you?” you were being disrespectful right now and this isn’t like you. he attempts to give you leeway because you have never behaved in such a way before. “talk to me, baby..” he pleads.
and god, when his voice deepens like that and he sounds so needy一you have to remind yourself to stay mad at him. you let out a loud sigh when you decide to look at him.
onyankopon’s heart almost skips a beat when the two of you finally make eye contact and he sees that your eyes are bloodshot red and there are stray tears still threatening to spill. he asks in a tone that shakes, “why you cryin’, mama?”
“c-cause you’re fucking disrespectful.” you cry out. the dam that was straining to hold up broke just by you looking at him.
onyankopon looks at you with wide eyes. he’s never once disrespected you. he’s never called you out of your name, mocked you, spoke condescendingly to you. you two have barely been together for an entire year and he had already gifted you everything and more. he tries to not be offended by your accusation.
“how am i disrespectful?” he asks, genuinely confused.
“how are you not? why the fuck ar-” you’re cut off from onyankopon kissing his teeth.
“stop cursin’, deadass. you can explain yourself without cursin’ like a damn sailor.” his tone doesn't make room for discussion.
you roll your eyes at his statement. onyankopon has always been firm when it comes to your habit of cursing, he always says ‘pretty girls don’t curse’ and tries to catch you every time you let a curse word slip out. right now, you didn’t have the time or patience for his lecturing.
but still, you rephrased yourself. “why are you replying to girls on instagram?” you ask in the most composed manner you can manage.
onyankopon gives you a confused mean mug, “what girls?”
you breath roughly through your nose. “you know what girls, onyankopon.”
onyankopon sighs, “i genuinely don’t, mama.”
you felt like crying from annoyance, why did he feel like now was the time to play? “look on instagram.”
ony grabs his phone and opens instagram. he sees that you had already opened his most recent chat. he reread the messages and viewed the account and quickly realized why you were upset. he stays quiet because he genuinely had no explanation on why he decided to respond to her. of course, he didn’t see her as attractive or anything. he had eyes for you and only you, no other woman could get in between that.
sighing, he set his phone down. he bit down on his lip as he tried to gather the words to tell you. he didn’t compliment her back or completely indulge in her, all he said was that he appreciated the compliment. he didn’t see what was wrong with that.
“look, i know-” he cut himself off as he continued to struggle.
“look at you, fucking struggling to talk cause you know you fucked up.” you spat the words out angrily. your pretty glossy lips are frowned up and onyankopon didn’t like that one bit.
“stop cursin.” he muttered.
“i’m fucking grown, nigga. just like you chose to respond to that bitch, i choose to curse whenever the fuck i want.” you were talking recklessly because you were mad. on an average day, those ugly words would never be spewing from your pretty mouth. also, you would never be talking to your man like this.
“bro chill with yo fuckin’ mouth!” onyankopon ‘s tone rises by a lot. there’s a pointed look in his eyes as he tries to put you in your place.
“me chill? you chill, nigga! fucking disrespectful ass! texting bitches back and calling them ma and shit.. fuck you, nigga!” your voice cracks at the end of your sentence. you weren’t crying out of sadness, you were crying out of anger. truthfully, you wanted to swing off on him but you’ve never thrown a punch in your life and onyankopon would probably choke you the fuck out.
“’m not puttin’ up wit’ dis shit.” onyankopon grumbles. he presses the start button and his car roars to life. “ain’t never called you out yo’ name. ain’t never did shit to hurt you, man. i try to give you the damn world.” your eyes widen when you hear onyankopon’s voice crack throughout his rant, you throw a quick glance at him and have to fight the surprised look on your face when you see his pretty brown eyes glossed over.
you can’t stop the words from coming out of your mouth. “texting other girls and calling them ma is giving me the world?” you chuckle sarcastically. “there’s no telling how many girls you entertain behind my back.”
onyankopon shakes his head while listening to you accuse him. “you can go through my entire fuckin’ phone right now and you ain’t gon’ find shit besides that. i ain’t talk to no other girls since i’ve been knowin’ you.”
“i can’t trust anything you say anymore.” you mutter.
“really? i’ve told you shit about me that i ain’t told no one else. shit about my childhood, about my life, how i became me ‘nd now you can’t trust me..” he lets out a breath that resembles a chuckle while shaking his head. “you’re my world, you’re my fresh breath of air from the streets, ‘nd now the reason why i’m going so hard. pickin’ up new clients, ‘nd putting my life at risk so i can buy you shit ‘nd now you’re sayin’ you can’t trust me anymore. alright, bro.”
you don’t say anything, you only turn your head and look out of the passenger seat window for the remainder of the drive.
onyankopon puts the car in park once he arrives in your driveway. you’re quick to hop out grabbing only your purse. you skim the driveway and realize that your parents aren’t home which you’re grateful for. you don’t have time to be bombarded with questions. while you’re unlocking the front door, you could hear onyankopon’s feet traveling behind you. you almost felt bad for leaving him to carry the bags and cups alone but in the moment of anger, you couldn’t care less if he needed help or not.
you open the door wide enough so that the two of you could step in. you kick your shoes off by the front door while he walks into the dining room and sets the food onto the table. the silence between the two of you is tense, you’ve never been so quiet around him and vice versa.
“‘mma go.” onyankopon suddenly says while looking down at his phone. he’s tapping furiously and his eyebrows are clenched in a way that shows annoyance.
“what? what about our food?” you ask with a frown. you go to stand in front of him. his towering height causes butterflies in your stomach whenever you stand near him.
“eat it or somethin’. i don’t care what you do with it.” he shrugs, finally looking away from his phone. you almost want to cry again. you’ve never heard onyankopon be so disinterested with you. he’s usually always so soft and understanding when he’s around you, so to hear him talk to you like you’re some stranger off the street; more than you'd want to admit, hurts your feelings.
“okay..” you sigh, obviously defeated.
usually, when he’s leaving out he’d litter your face and lips with kisses while telling you he’d be back. but this time he only gives you a brief side hug. “i’ll see you around, _.” your heart absolutely hurts when he uses your government name. when you hear the front door slam shut and the loud cranking from his car, you instantly burst into tears.
“three days ago.” you tell zinnia as your sudden flashback leaves your head. just thinking about what happens causes your eyes to go glossy. you’ve been crying ever since he left you standing in your dining room.
“after that incident?” zinnia asks, nosily.
“i messaged him an hour later.” you tell her. “i-i told him i loved him.. and he.. he just left me on read.” your shoulders shake as you clutch your face, you were so tired of crying but you didn’t know what else to do.
“awe, boo..” zinnia says sympathetically. she quickly clutches you into a hug. the smell of her perfume fills your nostrils as you cry onto her.
“i.. should’ve never said anything.. i should’ve j-just pretended i didn’t see it.” you say through sniffles. regret has been lingering on your heart a lot lately. you’ve been filled with should've, could’ve, and would’ves. your life has consisted of moping around the house and crying in bed.
onyankopon wasn’t exactly giving you the reassurance you desperately needed at the moment and it was causing you to absolutely spiral. you just wished he would at least text you a simple ‘i’m not mad at you’ or something of that sort. you’re aware of the type of lifestyle he lives on a day to day basis, you’re always making sure to pray for him asking for him to be protected as he gets his money in the only way he knows how. and for his location to suddenly go off has you on the absolute edge.
“nah, snookie.” the childhood nickname has you momentarily cringing. “you did the right thing by speakin’ up, boo. you seen bullshit so you spoke on it. what he did was that.. uhm.. what they call it…” she pauses and seems to be deep in thought. “ohh! that manipulation shit.”
you instantly sit up from her arms. “nah, zinnia ‘m not getting manipulated.” your soft voice has a defensive edge to it. “he just felt some type of way ‘cause he does so much for me and i called him out of his name and stuff.” you defend onyankopon way too quickly for someone that ghosted you.
zinnia gives you a look that you can’t exactly read. “whatever you say, boo.” she says. it’s obvious she doesn’t believe you from the way she shakes her while saying it.
“can you just..” you sigh out, the way you were feeling over onyankopon was a feeling you have never felt in your life before. it felt as if your heart was tearing into two pieces and no matter how much you tried to take your mind off of him and the situation, it still replays in your head. “can we cuddle?”
“awe, snooks, of course, boo.” she makes quick work of ashing her blunt and shuffling the two of you so that she could hold you comfortably.
the two of you lay there, silently. your head is adjusted onto her chest, the sound of her heart thumping fills your ears as you lose yourself to your thoughts. so many what ifs are running through your head. your overthinking is almost suffocating you in a way. as you lay there, thinking of the worst you try to rationalize and also think of the good. that was a habit you tended to do. you always tried to see the good in people and every situation. because of your optimism, you were often taken advantage of.
you didn’t purposely upset onyankopon. you felt hurt and as a result you felt the need to hurt. if you had known that bringing up the message, you would have never brought it up. you would rather suffer and not speak on it than to fully stop speaking to onyankopon. it was different, going from spending all your time with someone to not talking for three days straight. this being your first ever serious relationship, you didn’t know what to do. you weren’t sure if you were supposed to blow up his phone or give him time to cool off. all you want is to speak with him and hear his voice, to get reassurance that he’s well and alive, to hear him admit that he isn't angry with you.
you don’t realize it but you somehow doze off in zinnia’s embrace. your soft snores fill her ears and she coos out a soft “awee” while rubbing your back. with her being the older cousin and you not having any siblings, she felt as if it is her duty to help you get through your first heartbreak. she’s been through your shoes many times before; overthinking, crying, getting upset, getting manipulated, she’s gone through it all. as much as she wants to just shake your shoulders and scream for you to gain some sense, she won’t. she has to allow you to maneuver through life with firsthand experience, that includes getting your heartbroken.
she’s known onyankopon for many years, since middle school to be exact. she witnessed the man mature and adopt his doggish ways. to her, you’re too naive for ony. since you’re an only child your parents tended to shield you away from just about everything during your childhood and teen years. their overbearingness has rubbed off on you giving you this innocent curious nature. of course, you get upset and curse but every threat you give off is empty. she knows onyankopon, and she knows that he likes girls like you. girls who are easy to manipulate and have access to. she regrets deeply advising you to come to the party with her. if she would’ve let you stay home, you would’ve never met him.
you’re suddenly awakened by a phone buzzing. you yawn and stretch, your eyes dart to your window and you could see the light from the moon peeking through your opened blinds. you rub your eyes and stretch once more before looking at zinnia’s phone that’s ringing on your nightstand. you reach over her and grab it, once you see that it’s sasha you press the answer button.
“hello?” your voice is scratchy from the hours you went without water.
“snookie?” she asks. by her tone you could tell she’s upset and that causes you to fully wake up. an angry sasha is a scary sasha.
“hi, sash. it’s me.”
“hey, boo. where’s zinnia?” she seems impatient, her words are rushed out.
“beside me, sleeping.” your eyes do a once over on zinnia who’s drooling onto your pillow. her chest heaves while heavy breaths escape through her nose.
“yeah, no. wake her up for me.”
“sash, you kno-” you’re cut off by sasha’s loud sighing into the phone.
“snookie, boo, just listen to me. wake zinnia up and put her on the phone.” she says.
without another word, your hand lands onto her side and you begin shaking zinnia awake. after a minute of repeating her name and shaking her, she finally wakes up. a mean mug is immediately on her face as she rises up from her sleeping position. she stretches, letting out a loud dramatic moan.
“whatchu shaking me for?” her tone is hostile. zinnia absolutely hates being woken up which is why you were hesitant from the beginning.
“sasha wants you.” you hand her her phone, watching as she rolls her eyes before speaking up.
“girl, what you want?” her full lips are pulled into a frown as she listens to whatever sasha says. “wait, who’s story?” she asks while opening instagram. she types on her keyboard for a few seconds and then stops. she goes quiet as she watches whatever sasha told her to watch. you could hear multiple voices and the sound of loud music coming from her phone, you curiously lean over to see and that’s when zinnia quickly tilts her phone. she ignores the confused look you throw to her.
“bro.. ’m gonna fuckin’ kill dis nigga.” zinnia says after a few moments of silence. she puts the phone back up to her ear, her hazel eyes dart to you a few times and then they look away. “brooo, we’re about to throw something cute on. come scoop.” at those words, you’re entirely intrigued. you mouth at her ‘what’ and she only shakes her head and ignores you. “yeah, i thought i saw connie’s baldheaded ass in the background. ‘mma get his ass too.”
once zinnia says her goodbyes, she hangs up and lets out a heavy breath. “snookie, y’know i love you right?” she asks, suddenly.
“yeah. i love you too.” you giggle nervously.
“‘nd i just want you to know you don’t need a nigga for shit as long as i’m livin’ and breathin’.” she continues.
“i hear you.” you reply.
“what ‘m about to show you, you gotta practice me you’re not gonna cry.” she negotiates.
“you know ‘m a crybaby!” you groan with a smile. “i promise you i’ll try to not cry.”
she deems that good enough because she’s hesitantly showing you her phone.some might think you’re being dramatic if they were to hear you say you physically felt your heart break. and you could understand, heartbreak is a literary term and not literal one. however, you were experiencing a heartache at that exact moment. gasping was all you could do as your breathing became trapped in your chest. because you couldn't, you didn't cry. in total shock, you were motionless. you could feel zinnia’s arms wrap around you but it’s almost like a barrier was completely stopping her from touching you, or that’s what it felt like anyway.
your eyes rewatch the screen for what felt like the 100th time. your ony is right there, but so is a woman. she’s bent over in front of him, her ass is pressed against his pelvis. she’s shaking her ass to the beat of the song that’s playing and onyankopon’s hands are clutching her wide hips while she twerks. they both have a big smile on their faces while people in the background hype them. you watch in horror as onyankopon brings a hand up only to quickly bring it down onto her ass. as the video comes to an end, the camera darts to connie who’s obviously drunk, hyping them up the most. he’s pouring a half full bottle of hennessy into onyankopon’s mouth while screaming absolute nonsense out.
“we’re going to get dressed and we’re going to that party. we’re gonna whoop onyankopon, that bitch, and connie’s ass.” zinnia says. her tone is serious and the glare in her eyes tell you that she means every word she’s saying.
“there’s no point, zinnia.” you shrug as tears race down your face. “he’s single, he can do whatever he wants.”
zinnia gives you a look of confusion and irritation. “girl, to hell with that. y’all get into one big augment and now he’s moving like this. we’re not letting this shit slide, bro.” her tone excludes any kind of debate.
it doesn’t feel like you’re there physically when zinnia urges you into the bathroom to clean yourself up a little. you’re zoned out the entire time while brushing your teeth and applying light makeup. your eyes stay glossed over but tears don’t fall. your legs shake like jelly, you feel weak; emotionally and physically. you didn’t know where to go from here. all you wanted at the moment was for ony to come over and hold you while kissing your head and promising you everything would be alright like he usually does. the person that hurt you is the person you’re craving the most.
zinnia is sympathetic the entire time the two of you get dressed. you didn’t want to go confront ony, honestly. you just wanted to lay in bed and rot away. the thought of being in an outside setting at this current moment seemed draining. what would you even say to him? there isn’t even anything to say to him.
everything moves too fast and sasha pulls up in front of your house sooner than you wanted her to. an uneasy feeling settles in the pit of your stomach as you look over your outfit. a pink spaghetti strap sleeveless dress hugs your figure, loudly emphasizing every curve you have. you couldn’t even feel pretty if you wanted to, your mind goes back to the woman that was twerking on ony and your heart quivers. the way he grabbed her hips, the same way he did that one night where he had you chanting his name like a prayer. you let out a breath and quickly look away from the mirror.
zinnia leads you through the living room where your mother is sitting in the living room watching judge judy in a nightgown she's had since you were born. meanwhile, your father sits exactly beside her, playing pool on his phone. “ohh, where y’all going?” your mother asks.
you can’t find it in you to talk and zinnia seems to quickly catch on to that. “we’re gonna go pop at this party right quick.” she tells her.
your mother’s eyes dart from your head to your toes. her eyes go back to your face and she can instantly tell something isn’t right with her daughter. she decides she’ll wait until it’s just the two of you to comment on it. “y’all be safe ‘nd stay together. if one has to go to the bathroom, the other follows in tow.” your mother lectures.
you both agree to her words and walk out of the house. you could feel her eyes burning a hole into your back but you refuse to turn around. if you were to break down crying, she would immediately forbid you from going out tonight. that’s one of the difficult parts of being an only child. your parents sometimes get too overbearing without even meaning to. privacy is something you just started getting once you turned 18. you still remember the way your mother almost fainted when the two of you were having girl talk and you had admitted that you and ony had sex for the first time. you still haven’t forgiven her for running back to your father and telling her, he had given you the cold shoulder for two weeks. as much as your parents could be a handful, their intentions were never bad. you’re their only child so they tend to shield you a bit too much because of that.
when you enter the backseat of sash’s pink wrapped dodge charger, the smell of weed immediately hits your nose. your nose scrunches in reflex. you absolutely despise the smell of weed, it’s too strong for your liking.
“wassup, bitches!” sasha greets the two of you. sexyy red plays lowly, she had gotten those overdramatic speakers installed so the bass was almost overpowering.
“pass the blunt, hoe.” zinnia rolls her eyes.
“hi, sasha.” you greet with a slight smile that almost hurts to put on your face.
“you okay, bookie?” she tilts all the way in her seat so that she could make eye contact with you. her almost cracks seeing the redness in your eyes. “we gon’ get shit straight. trust. when i see connie and ony ‘m punching them dead in their shit.”
zinnia quickly agrees as she lights the blunt up. you let out a soft laugh, “y’all there’s no reason to get violent.”
she inhales for a few seconds before letting out a large cloud of smoke. “yeah, okay.” she says sarcastically.
sasha pulls off, the song f my baby dad and instantly sasha turns the music up. both her and zinnia begin screaming the lyrics.
“my nigga actin’ up so you know ‘m finna pop it!” zinnia screams to no one in particular.
“y’all,” sasha turns the music down once she gets to a red light, “me and connie had our first pregnancy scare some weeks ago.”
both you and zinnia shook your heads at her words. you truthfully were surprised that sasha wasn’t on her second child with connie, from the extreme stories she told the two of you about her love life, it’s only a wonder that she isn’t carrying.
“girl! why you shaking your head?! a lil’ birdie told me that ony had to buy your lil ass a plan b!” sasha looks at you through the rearview mirror.
your eyes immediately dart towards zinnia, she’s the only person you disclosed that information to. zinnia quickly turns the music up, pretending she didn’t hear sasha’s accusation.
when sasha parks near the house that’s throwing the party, you feel so afraid that you immediately want to throw up. you were doing good not crying but reality seems to settle in and you realize you’re actually about to confront ony. a lump forms in your throat that you struggle to swallow down. you’re looking out of the window, at the house. you’re so caught up in your head that you don’t realize both zinnia and sasha are looking at you in worry.
you’ve been anxious since a child. you’re the ‘come with me’ friend. it’s something you hated. there’s been numerous times you’ve wished and prayed that anxiety didn’t control your life. you struggled extremely with confrontation. maybe that’s why you and ony got along so well. you never questioned him or any of that sort. you prefer to sit back and watch rather than being in the spotlight, being perceived. that goes for family, friends, and strangers. you weren’t even tearing up from what ony did, while that did have a part in your tears, you were more so dreading the thought of speaking up to him.
“you okay, snookie?” zinnia asks, worriedly.
you inhale sharply, “y-yeah. can we just.. get this over with, please?”
they both share a glance before agreeing. the three of you exit the car, the sounds of purses, bracelets and y’all’s slide sandals sync as you walk towards the house.
“we’re so bad.” sasha sighs while looking over the three of you to make sure you all looked good.
once you enter the house, you’re immediately blinded by flashing lights. the air is hot and humid as numerous people rub against each other. loud speakers blast rap music and you could faintly hear people rapping along with the rapper. alcohol, weed, and sweat fills your nose making you internally gag. this is the second party you’ve ever came to and you want to leave right away. sasha grabs zinnia’s hand, and zinnia grabs your hand. sasha leads you three to the kitchen that’s only filled with a few people. out of the corner of your eye, you could see a couple sloppily making out against the refrigerator.
“here.” sasha hands you a small glass that is filled with something clear. “take a shot or two and loosen up.”
following her instructions, you take two shots straight. bile rises and you have to swallow it causing you to gag. you feel your body shiver as you attempt to digest the alcohol. you take a gulp from the red bull that zinnia gives you, trying to ease the burning sensation in your throat.
“they’re all in the livin’ room, i seen them all huddled up and shit.” sasha comments while holding a cup in her hand.
“les go.” zinnia doesn’t waste any time making her way over to them.
you follow the girls along with legs that feel like jelly. the closer you come to the group, the faster your heart beats inside your chest. when you're just a few steps away, the scent of weed hits you powerfully.
“ohhh!” connie screams once he sees the three of you walk up. “we got zinnia in da housseeeeeee! ohhh shitttt! y’all don’ got itty bitty’s ass to get out of daaa houseeee! whaaaatttt! oh, ‘nd sasha is here too.. i guesssss.” connie is obviously intoxicated as he slurs over his words.
immediately, the rest of the guys' heads snap in y'all's direction. you somehow hear armin let out a “oh lord” once he sees the expressions on sasha and zinnia’s faces.
“connie shut that shit up, boy! what that hell are you screaming for?!” sasha wastes no time grabbing connie by his shirt.
“unhand me you beast!” connie screams dramatically.
sasha rolls her eyes at connie’s antics. her eyes dart from face to face until they land on ony, who’s sitting there manspreading. there’s an uninterested look on his face as he views your trio before his eyes locate onto you and you only. eye contact that you haven’t held in three days. that lazy head tilt and seeing his full lips pressed straight, you have to force yourself to look elsewhere. you refuse to get sucked into his hypnotizing eyes once again.
“you. stand up, i wanna fight.” she tells ony.
ony looks at her boredly, his eyes are glossed and lidded. “sasha, gone somewhere, man.” “beat her ass, ony. ‘m too scared t’do it.” connie says from his grasp in sasha’s hand.
ony's eyes dart over to you. there's a look on his face that makes your knees almost buckle. your heart speeds up in your chest and you can tell from the shift in the atmosphere that something is about to pop off.
2K notes · View notes