#she had to wear it for so long (over a month) because the shelter didn't believe me when I said that it wasn't healing

[oediex]

Day 186 of posting a kitten until I can foster again

Emma hated the little jumper she had to wear when her incision got infected. Turns out she was allergic to the suture thread.

[narcjsistx]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐑

✶ kaiser micheal soldier official art x fem reader

✶ word count: 1.1k (1152)

The smell of disinfectant mixed with blood is something you've become accustomed to since you've been here. The months spent at the shelter have passed quickly, yet the letters you sent so long ago don't seem to have been received, as you haven't had any response from your family

Or maybe they received the letters, but they chose not to respond. Maybe they are still angry with you for what happened, since it is not usual for a woman to run away from her family. But you didn't run away... or rather, you did, but only temporarily. At the end of the war you will return home as a married woman, perhaps even with a child in your womb. But maybe that's exactly why your family didn't respond to the letters

"Y/n, he's here" your companion says, as she rubs some liquid medicine on the soldier's knee; the man groans in pain, but you pay no attention as you step out of the tent, pushing aside the fabrics that protect it from the cold. Adjusting the miserable uniform you are wearing, you head towards the end of the shelter, passing through the bodies of the dead and living soldiers, plus those of the nurses and your companions

You step outside, placing a hand against your face to shield yourself from the sun. The light wind gently blows your clothes away, as you hear someone coming in front of you, stopping a few inches away. Smile spontaneously, lowering your arm to see who is in front of you, even if you already know it thanks to the similar smell

"Kaiser!" you say happily, as the pale face of the man you love comes into your view. Michael takes off his soldier's hat, squeezing it between his fingers as he raises his hand to place it on your rosy cheek. You tilt your face, burying your cheek in his warm palm, as if that hand hadn't taken the lives of a lot of people. But you're at war, you can't say anything against him, he's the best of his squadron and he has to do what he has to do

“Liebe” the man says, running his fingers over your cheek. Kaiser takes a few steps forward, awkwardly placing his hat on your head. You giggle, as his free hand lands on your other cheek, cupping your face in his hands “My savior”

"I'm glad to see you here. You worried me when you didn't come to my dorm last night" you say worriedly, remembering the anxiety you had felt. Kaiser is fighting a few miles away from the soldiers' shelter, and every day he tries to come to you in the morning or at night. But yesterday he didn't show up and knowing that at the front there is hard fighting, you got scared

"I know. The commander asked me to watch over some cadets" he says, taking a long breath. You nod, focusing more on the fact that your man is finally here. The sun shines on the gold trim of his uniform, the soft grey fabric accentuating his slender form. You smile, breathing a sigh of relief at seeing him alive, which is not a given "Will you stay with me tonight?" you ask hopefully, looking forward to finally feeling his tired, scarred body collapse into you, hugging you tightly. Kaiser nods "I'll be with you late at night. Wait for me, Liebe"

"Of course I will!" you say smiling even happier, happy to know that you can be with him again tonight. Micheal stares at you for a few seconds, thoughtful, then pulls your face against his, lifting your chin to better position your lips on his. You are surprised, then standing on tiptoe to reach a more comfortable height, while you enjoy the affection of your soon-to-be husband. His free hand makes room for your lower back, pushing you against him so you don't escape, as if you even remotely intend to. His lips press needily against yours, the same way he does every time because he knows he isn't absolutely sure he'll see you one last time. He's strong, you know that too, but war kills even the most hopeful

It is precisely for these kisses that you decided to follow him, when he made the decision to go and fight at the front. You have known each other since you were children, and there has always been a deep love between you, even if you have to hide it: it is not common for women to have a boyfriend before the man her family will choose as her future husband. And yet, you know for absolute certainty that you would never love someone like you love this blond boy. Your family hates him, and his father hates you, but you still decided to go with him because of how strong your feelings are, because of how much you need to feel him on your lips. You took the vows of a nurse in a soldiers' shelter near him, and as soon as the war ends he promised to marry you and make you happy, more than he already does. If you get married again, your family won't be able to separate you, especially if there could be a possible child in your womb involved once married. But the war won't end soon, or at least that's what he tells you in the evenings when he sinks into your arms. So there's still a wait

"It could all be over in less than a year, if our squadron continues to annihilate. The enemy is weak, but we must continue to advance to end all this" he says, briefly breaking away from your lips, only to leave a kiss on the tip of your nose "But, if all this is true, it means that in less than a year you will be my wife. And that is what drives me to go on, knowing that I will finally have you beside me constantly, in a house of our own and with children born of our love. I fight to have you mine as soon as possible" he says, removing his hat from your head, moving some hair from your forehead to leave a kiss "And I will make you happy, and I will be if I know that you will love me every day like the first" he says, in an affectionate tone, the one that convinces you more and more that you have made the right choice

"I can't wait, Kaiser" you say, holding onto him, the fabric of his uniform smeared against your body "I can't wait for all of this to happen. Our children will be so happy" you say, lovingly, and he nods, hugging you close to him

"They will be, just like us. At the end of the war, we will be happy, very happy, Liebe"

✶ 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!

[looooochie]

PLS WRITE ABT MARC BERNAL🛐

okay here

hate me // marc bernal

requested: yes

word count: 849

a/n: FEEDING YALL AN IMAGINE AFTER A MONTH?

summary: the average case scenario of enemies to lovers, but one rainy afternoon makes a difference.

There was a heck lot of bad blood between you and Marc. You two hated eachother for as long you can remember.

And it was even worse when you were a Madridsta and he was well... You already know he's a Barça player. Marc never knew how you two collided but, he pretty much hates you.

~

You were getting your stuff from your locker and suddenly it closed. Then you feel someone grab your collar, he had a line tattoo on his arm.

You sigh, to see your enemy pinning you. "The fuck do you want with me Marc..?" you look up.

"I want you to put something else on. That jersey makes me sick as hell." Marc says. It was clear he didn't like your Madrid shirt.

"You don't get it estupido (stupid). You cant make me stop supporting Madrid. So, Hala. Madrid." you reply angrily. Marc scoffs and let's go of your shirt. Then the bell rings.

As Marc walks, he looks at you with a scowl. "I better not catch you wearing that shitty shirt ever again." he says. You also scoff and begin to walk towards class.

~

It was finally the end of school and you were walking home. Then, you felt something cold hit your head. Next thing you know, you felt that se feeling, but all over your body.

That meant, it was going to rain now. You started to run, and the rain started to get heavier and heavier by the second. There is a Blue, cover thing where you could sit down and take shelter or something..

You got to that place and sat down. Every part of you was drenched due to the rain water. You take your hoodie from your backpack to try and keep warm, and that was not wet.

Then, you hear some footsteps snd you look, to see it was him. It was none other than him, Marc Bernal. As Marc is walking, he sees you.

At first, he tried to ignore you by walking past you and acting like he didn't care. You were practically freezing. And you didn't expect Marc to care. He then suddenly stops and walks backwards, slightly looking at you.

"Hey loser. Are you okay?" he says in a playful tone. "Why the hell would you care, don't you hate me?" you scowl back, giving him a glare. "I do but, you don't look too okay there."

"What sort of thing possessed you- ah- ah- Achoo!" you say, but then you get interrupted by a sneeze. Marc sighs and takes off his hoodie and tosses it to you.

"Wh-what the.." you say as you look at the hoodie. "Look, I didn't do it because I felt like being nice, it's because you looked like you were getting sick." Marc scoffs again, with a little blush.

"Uhm.. thanks? I guess." "Don't mention it." He continues. Then Marc walks off. You were extremely confused right now.

Why on earth would your sworn enemy want to give you his hoodie Just, why? You just then sneeze again, so you put on the hoodie that Marc gave you. Oh my God, it even smells like him. But, the scent was awfully nice though.

~

Ever since that thing that happened between you and Marc, you began to start liking him. You always kept trying to deny it, but you just help it.

~

You were sitting in class, almost half asleep because it was THAT boring. "I'm going to get some whiteboard markers from the art room, there better not be any chaos." the teacher says, and she left the room.

It was silent for a few moments then, it slowly started to turn into a chaotic mess. In the midst of it all, Marc got something from his backpack, and got a pocky stick from it.

Then, he put it in his mouth and tapped you on the shoulder. "Hey loserface. You know how to play the pocky game right?" Marc says.

"Uhm yeah, why?" you ask him in response. "I wanna play with you and beat you to prove that I'm better than you." he replies, with a playful tone.

"Sure. I'd never back down from challenges." you reply, then you put the other side of the pocky stick in your mouth. The class fell silent and turned their attention towards you and Marc.

Your mouths began getting closer and closer to one another, and they were almost together. Then out the blue, Marc bites the stick and crashed his lips onto yours.

This was totally unexpected. Well, you liked Marc back too. So it wasn't really a suprise. He ran his fingers through your hair and you traced the tattoo on his arm.

You and him pull apart, looking at eachother, blushing. "Wow Marc.. that was.. Amazing." you say.

"Stupid girl! Quit being so cute!" Marc says, hugging you. "Is that so? More like you're the one who's being cute." you say as you hig him back. "Oh shut it!" Marc responds, still hugging you.

[okiria]

Meeting Halfway in the Snow

Tarugrace fic // 707 words

Ajax returns home and enjoys caring for his family (and the woman he wants to add to it).

Ajax typically woke up early when he was home. As the house slept, he enjoyed making breakfast and having time to set the table and clean the dishes before his siblings trickled in one at a time, their sleepy eyes lighting up at the sight and smell of a hot meal. It was something he took great pride and joy in, there was truly nothing quite like nourishing your loved ones.

On days like these, Grace usually slept until he woke her for breakfast, and he had grown accustomed to hearing a steady purr beside him when he woke. Today was silent, and the bed next to him was cold.

That meant it was flurrying outside.

Grace had admitted that she had only seen snow a handful of times in Fontaine, and despite them having stayed in Snezhnaya for months now, she was still amazed by certain patterns of snowfall– particularly how the wind whipped the snow around, but the flakes still landed delicately onto her skin. At one point he caught her staring out the window holding a catalyst close, trying to recreate those small delicate bursts of frost.

He rolled out of bed and began finding some warm clothes, both for himself and for her. Despite her time in Snezhnaya, she still didn't dress warm enough when she went out. She hadn't learned to fear the danger of the cold building over time.

With an armful of scarves and blankets, he stepped out onto the porch, where he saw her sitting on the edge of the steps, just barely sheltered as the wind whipped stray snowflakes onto her cloak and skirt.

“So you are out here,” he gave her a coy smile.

She briefly turned around to acknowledge him with a slight smile before she was sucked back into watching the snowfall, as if she would miss something important if she so much as blinked too long.

He sat beside her and began sifting through his pile, wrapping scarves from her neck all the way up to her nose, which she sat and accepted without comment. He threw a blanket over the top of her head, because he still hadn’t figured a better way to keep her ears warm yet. He laid a thick blanket over her tail, which she twitched once in noncommittal protest. He huffed out a laugh.

He leaned close and took her bare hand in his. It was freezing to the touch, but she refused to wear gloves. She argued that cryo was her element, and it was no colder than using a catalyst. She didn't want to give up the feeling of snow crunching against her fingertips.

So he kept his hands bare, too, because that was the best way to warm hers up.

“The cold will sneak up on you,” he warned her, “You’ve gotta be careful, or you’ll get sick.”

She snorted and barked out a laugh through the scarf over her mouth. She peeled it down to her chin.

"You're the last person I want to hear that from," she rolled her eyes and huffed out another laugh, “It’s weird seeing you be the responsible one.”

It wasn't the first, or even hundredth time she had said it since they came to Snezhnaya. She pointed this out whenever he gently scolded a sibling for coming home too close to dark, or double checked the household rations in case the weather turned.

He was surprised she saw this as a new side of him. To him, these were the same feelings of protection and responsibility he had been showing her since they first traveled across Chenyu Vale.

Sure, he had had a personal reckless streak in Fontaine, but that was ultimately necessary.

Besides, it was different when it concerned those he loved rather than himself.

“Hey, I promised when we met, didn't I? Come with me and I’ll protect you,” he stood up, still holding her hand, “Now come inside,” he tugged her arm. There’s no telling how long she had been outside, but she was due to warm up.

“Just a little longer,” she leaned her cheek against his knuckles, her eyes still locked on the snowy landscape.

She was stubborn, but that wasn't news to him.

[cleoselene]

look I completely get that the world at large was going to fall apart after the election, but did that have to apply to completely unrelated problems in my personal life?!

she's so exhausted and she is uninjured but she was highly traumatized by all of it. The standing on the side of the road in rush hour traffic surrounded by sirens and strange people while her mother is having a full on panic attack, which i totally did, because I CANNOT afford another car and of course I didn't have collision, that shit is for people who aren't on Social Security and make more than a grand a month. All I could think of was that my life was over, ruined. Of course I am grateful for everyone being okay but this has fucked me so hard and I honestly don't even know if I'm injury free. my body is so tense with adrenaline

I feel so bad she had to go through it. She was so perfectly behaved as we stood on the side of the road and dealt with it all, but she was trembling the whole time. We waited at the vets (which is where we were going) and when I tried to walk her in there she I believe 100% thought she was being returned to the shelter again. But when we walked in and I stayed and they let us have a room for privacy even though our appointment was obviously missed (they did give the dogs a quick look over and donated some pain medicine in case they show any aches, but really, the dogs got out of this the best I think), she just cuddled up on my life.

So did Theron, I had both of them because my roommate was taken to the hospital for xrays. Thankfully her ribs are bruised and not broken but we both feel like fucking horrible awful. I have a couple puncture wounds on my leg, no fucking idea where they came from and I didn't even know they were there until I got home since i was wearing long pants. Didn't know until I undressed and my pants were caked in blood and stuck to my leg. Truly mean when I say I am both in agonizing pain and feeling nothing. It's just all over pain and thus i do not focus on or notice any particular thing.

But the dogs just sat on my lap, both of them, while I had to wait like an hour and a half for my mom to come get me and they just cuddled up and gave me gentle kisses, then gave each other gentle kisses, and they were so cozy and sweet and calming, like puppy xanax in my arms. They were so soothing and relaxing that I think we all kind of went into a meditative trance which was really good because I was in full on panic attakc mode when it first happened

I have honestly been hanging on by a thread since election day/Ernie's death and the hits have just kept coming but god. dogs are truly the greatest creatures on earth. we don't deserve them

[eternalfarnham]

The first timeline's Homura Akemi wished for true friends, and got Madoka, Mami and Kyoko (the wish didn't pull in Sayaka, because those two don't get along in any universe), plus a functioning heart and eyes into the bargain. Her wish magic let her share her friends' magic with one another, and so she became something like a leader to the Holy Trio, supplementing Mami's firepower and Kyouko's mobility by letting them borrow each others' tricks, and helping them to reconcile with one another. She was also an enormous, embarrassing chuunibyou who helped Mami name all her attacks (including the combined-powers fusion technique L'ultimo Balletto) and practiced hair flips in the mirror.

Madoka Kaname was saved from a witch by the coolest girl she'd ever met (Homura, fronting very, very hard to impress the cutest girl in her class). Kyouko and Mami were leery of keeping Madoka around – Kyouko for fear of competition, and Mami for fear of Madoka getting hurt even worse, since she'd suffered a nasty scar from Izobel the Artist Witch – but Homura wanted her by her side, not even as a fellow magical girl, but as the kind of ordinary friend she'd fantasized about having for years in various medical wards.

Then came Walpurgisnacht. The shelter didn't make it. Neither did the Kanames. And the Holy Trio...

"I wasn't ever going to live long. And these past few weeks, after making my wish... I've been so happy that it almost seems unfair. Like I cheated the universe. So, no matter how this ends..."

It might've ended there, but, well, Kyubey. Madoka's wish wasn't to save Homura, though, who she didn't think she could stand with as an equal, even in death. Instead, Madoka wished to spend just a little more time with her – to extend that little slice of paradise that Homura coveted, that she was willing to die for –

"I wish that I could stay by Homura's side just a little longer, and live out a wonderful, ordinary life with her, for as long as she wants me."

In the end, even with a magical wish, Madoka Kaname the ordinary girl didn't consider herself capable of asking for something as big as everyone surviving past Walpurgisnacht. In the end, dreaming beyond your potential just leads to more suffering, doesn't it? So instead she restricted herself to supporting her best friend's desire to live out the best month-and-a-half of her life... again and again and again, carrying her scarred, changed body to each new timeline, the damaged, traumatized facilitator of an endlessly looping magical girl paradise where everyone gets to be special, over and over again. (She strangles her own potential in the process. No Madoka Kaname will reach beyond what her grasp permits, ever again.)

If Homura finds it in herself to be strong again – to be that perfect, unbreakable girl who could defeat even Walpurgisnacht if she had her friends behind her – then they'll escape this maze of time. (If she ever got sick of ordinary life and frailty and an ever-repeating everyday, she could certainly become that heroine who saves everyone. Who saved Madoka. Who Madoka fell for, who Madoka could help like no one else could, who became so amazing because she fought for Madoka. Just one more time. Please?) But Madoka Kaname, known crypto-Buddhist magical girl, couldn't possibly ask for anything more than those peaceful, happy days (which she keeps peaceful and happy, despite her best friend's slowly ballooning potential and Kyubey's increasing ruthlessness, by liberal application of deception, time-clone magic, impromptu therapy and occasional sedatives).

Also if she convinces Sayaka not to kill her for body-snatching her bestie and replacing her with a scarred, glasses-wearing trauma ghost doppelganger. Also her mom sometimes.

(Mami is deeply confused about why the cute pink underclassman Kyubey was keeping tabs on suddenly lost all her potential, especially since there's a weird new magical girl in town who looks exactly the same. Kyouko is drawn into the mystery of the mysterious body-stealing Pink Rose Witch, who Sayaka insists must be responsible for her best friend's transformation. She can't trust someone who gives her that much food "for free.")

[pandemichub]

I'd love people to write in in response to this post. I'll share my own story to get things started.

Before the pandemic started I had just started to get on the right track after an apartment fire 3 years ago at the time. Everything was thrown off by that and I developed PTSD from the event. My health and mental health conditions were well managed, including my agoraphobia and I was in good health.

Even as I sheltered in place for approximately 3 years and only did essential activities and went to essential places I still contracted covid. Sadly my carer brought it into my home and I've suffered with long covid immediately subsequent to my acute infection ever since (August 28th 2022).

It's turned my life upside down. I had planned on starting to ride my bike and now it sits in my apartment untouched. I struggle to walk, sit and balance especially for prolonged periods, at the ripe age of 31. An issue I didn't have before remotely.

And yet doctors keep mentioning anxiety, that it's not conclusive despite not studying up to date literature and published research on covid and long covid. I have no purpose for my shoes much either because travel is taxing on my body. In fact I've been at my mom's house for almost a month because I'm not well enough to return home.

Even paid my rent and electric digitally. My patio remains unoccupied, partly because I don't want harassment about wearing a mask outdoors but also would rather not see my neighbors. One of which harassed me and my carer after coming back from a very stressful dentist appointment with appalling covid safety and not having slept that day.

My computer collecting dust, partly due to the winter storm a couple months or so ago that knocked out my power and messed up the boot sequence, but also not being able to sit at and use it without swaying, heart palpations, feeling faint, and for long periods.

My kitchen sink, cooking utensils and ware goes unused most of the time because my new illness has largely robbed me of the energy and focus to prepare and cook meals. And my apartment tends to occupy me or my one support staff because of my fear of a repeat incident of someone bringing disease into my house. A disease that if I catch again well may kill me, or, faster.

My shower usually is dry as a bone, baths and showers leave me flaring and wiped for days. My hair products sit frequently untouched as I'm too exhausted to brush, braid, cover and moisturize my hair. As do my free weights and elastic PT bands. Ever since I got sick I lack stamina, experience shortness of breath (I had asthma but it was well controlled), my heart rate spikes and I can't exercise in any way that would hit targets or be beneficial.

And still my doctor recommends physical therapy despite telling her all this. And worst of all won't give me a long covid diagnosis. She kicked me to specialist.

Specialist who are already booked out, and whose schedules and patient lists keep lengthening because of the sharp and continued rise in long covid. Knowing it could take months for me to get a diagnosis this route and even longer to get new disability aids I need if I even get documents and approvals at all.

That I can't possibly afford because I'm dirt poor. To add pain to injury, I was disabled before this. And I understood the seriousness of covid and long covid. And took every precaution. But in a society that's a threat to life and safety, I was only as safe as everyone else was and is.

Which means I wasn't and still am not. Not only do I have whatever implications and damage short and long term from my first bout of illness, I constantly have the threat of reinfections and death everyday.

And finally, I have no use for many of the chairs in my home as my brain, neck and spine struggle to keep me upright. My body is in some ways new to me and after 3 plus decades in it, I have to learn it all over again.

And am confronted with no longer being able to do what I once did (possibly ever again) with great sadness nor test limits without high risk and unpredictable results. And it is a terrible, deeply off putting, arrogant and cruel insult to hear people write off or outright deny long covid exists and call long covid a cold. It fucking isn't.

Anyway that's my story.

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, January 9th, 2025.

Name: Hallie.

how often do you clip your nails? I don't pay close attention, but maybe every 7-10 days.

Birthday: March 14th.

do you replace the toilet paper if you use the last piece? It's my bathroom, so no one else is going to do it.

Birthplace: Louisiana.

how many pairs of shoes do you have? Two. One pair I have yet to wear because I'm waiting until my current pair wears out.

Current Location: Sitting at the computer desk in my bedroom.

what kind of laundry detergent do you use? I think it might be Arm & Hammer.

Eye Color: Hazel.

do you weigh yourself often? I don't. I did weigh myself a few weeks ago because I have a doctor appointment for social security renewal in mid-January and I didn't want to be too surprised by the number on their scale. I also weighed myself not long after that because of the stomach issues I've been experiencing. Part of it was due to eating disorder reasons because it loves to see that number drop, but then I also started thinking that if it continued and dropped below a certain point, then I really should go see a doctor about it. It's just so hard for me to get over that inertia of procrastination. I guess I would sooner die.

Hair Color: Brown.

can you tie a cherry stem in your mouth? Probably not.

Do you dye your hair? I'm planning on getting it professionally styled after it grows out more and then I'll dye it myself. I haven't settled on a color just yet, but most likely blond to start with and then something pastel.

do you shave? if so how often? No.

Height: Five feet three inches.

do you laugh out loud by yourself? Yeah. A couple of months ago, I got to laughing super hard over a video Ollie sent me while Karenna was lying next to me. I can't remember whether she tried to bite or smack me (it was at least one of the two), but she was not amused. Very concerned by the shaking and obnoxious sounds.

Right or Left handed? Right-handed.

who is the funniest person you know? Oliver and Kristen.

Biggest weakness: Like what melts my heart or brings tears to my eyes? Stories of personal accomplishment or overcoming the odds, and cute animal videos (especially cats). What do I have trouble resisting? Baked goods and my comfy cozy bed. And what would I consider to be the biggest weakness in my personality? Probably fear, envy, and enjoying drama a little too much.

what is your favorite movie and why? I don't really have a favorite movie at the moment.

Biggest fear: Losing my dad, winding up homeless and alone, ruining things at the animal shelter, my cats passing away, and getting in a car accident.

do you take daily medications? Just migraine meds.

Your perfect pizza: Thick crust, crispy on the outside and chewy on the inside, not too much sauce, plenty of cheese, and the toppings don't really matter too much - I like a variety.

what is the best thing you can cook? I'm not much of a cook, but I can make some decent pies.

Goal you would like to achieve this year: I would love to be actually employed at the animal shelter. I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be, so I'm just waiting for an opening.

do you have any o.c.d habits? Mostly intrusive and obsessive thoughts. I don't have the type of "OCD habits" that involve cleanliness and germophobia.

Your most overused word or phrase on a messenger: I'm not sure, but maybe inserting an LOL or LMAO when I'm not actually laughing.

do you test the water or dive straight in? I usually test it. Both figuratively and literally.

Thoughts first waking up: Whatever weird dreams I just had. Wondering what time it is. The weight of all my thoughts and emotions crashing back down. A sense of dread or lack of motivation to face the day.

would you peek in someone elses medicine cabinet? Probably not.

Your best physical feature: I like muh face.

do you chew straws? I did when I was younger (along with pens and pencils).

Your bedtime: Sooo early. Love going to bed early in the winter because it's actually dark.

do you iron your clothes? I don't.

Number of hours of sleep per night: Somewhere around 8.

what was your favorite childhood toy? Stuffed animals, Littlest Pet Shop, Barbies, Polly Pocket, action figures of my favorite characters.

Favorite Drink: Water, coffee, hot chocolate.

can you do the splits? Not even close.

Favorite Food: I don't even know anymore! I like a lot of things!

can you keep a secret? I'm keeping one from my dad right now, regarding how things are going between my mom and sibling (last I spoke to her, they were not in contact). She asked me not to tell him, so even though I normally tell him EvErYtHiNg, I won't.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I kinda find it funny how, if Ed didn't break up with Bella and then chase after Victoria in NM, we might not have gotten the events of Eclipse. Girl was just vibing with her makeshift "guards," and he had to mess it all up by having her see how newborn armies work and inspire her. Do you think Vic would've still would've gone after Bella if not for NM's events (and how it'd go down)? Cause low key I think it's funnier if she wasn't a danger but Ed made her into one jfksaldjf.-Sw

I think she would have.

True, Victoria comes up with the newborn army scheme after Edward chases her down to Mexico, but she also doesn't use it right away. She tests the waters in Forks for a very long time before she decides to invade.

In other words I, sigh, agree with Edward on this: Victoria was coming back to murder Bella Swan in vengeance no matter what was happening.

Without the newborn army, however, things would have played out very differently.

A Bit on the Romantic Tragedy Penned by Edward Cullen

First, a note, Edward had always intended to leave Bella. From the moment he realized he was in love with her he told himself that he would one day leave her. It was just a matter of when.

In Twilight, he's torn. He knows he shouldn't be a part of her life, that bringing her into his world almost necessitates her becoming a vampire, but he also really doesn't want to let her go. He doesn't think he's strong enough to do it.

And as Bella keeps getting herself into danger he gives himself more and more excuses.

If he's not there, then Bella will get crushed by a van or raped in an alley or eaten by bears. Her number's up, and Edward is single handedly fighting fate to keep this angel alive.

Bella needs Edward, therefore he can't possibly go.

The birthday party put things back into perspective. Edward's family is the most dangerous threat to Bella there is, Edward himself really may lose control one day and devour her, and unless she turns (which Edward absolutely does not want) then she has no future with him.

The family has to leave now.

However, if there's no birthday party, then Edward doesn't have that catalyst and reminder. He likely decides to himself that he will leave Bella after graduation, his family will move towns, Bella will attend whichever university she attends, and he will have had a few wonderful years with Bella pretending he's a regular high school boy dating a regular high school girl.

When Bella then dies a natural human death sometime later, Edward will go to Volterra and kill himself (and force the Volturi's hand when Aro refuses to do it).

Of course, he'd probably break here too, but that's a different story.

I do think without Jasper's slip up and the birthday party, that Edward would have stuck around for New Moon.

The World Without Bella's Birthday Party

Bella throws the fit she didn't in canon.

She doesn't want this birthday party, she never asked for this birthday party, AND WHY DOES BELLA ALWAYS HAVE TO HUMOR ALICE?!

Bella has had a summer filled with Alice. In canon, this was a delight, in this world Bella realizes that maybe they spend most of their time doing what Alice wants to do rather than what Bella wants to do.

Alice is clearly throwing this party for Alice's sake, everyone knows it, and Edward tells her, "Please humor my sister and be a good sport."

Isn't this party supposed to be about Bella?

Alice is terribly upset and does not handle any of this well, Edward tells Bella to be reasonable and be the better person and give Alice this party, Rosalie thinks this is all petty bullshit but has mild respect for Bella on calling Alice out on this, and Carlisle is rubbing his temples somewhere trying to let the children deal with this themselves.

In the end, they compromise, Bella's birthday is Edward taking her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant in Seattle of Alice's choice, Bella wearing a fancy Chanel dress that Alice selected for her.

Bella's still embarrassed and miserable, but at least there aren't a billion pink candles.

As a result, there's no birthday party, no papercut, and no dumping.

The next several months instead are spent with Bella and Alice in a battle of wills and a real rough spot in their friendship. Bella tries to explain to Edward that Alice treats her like a doll, not a person.

Edward, of course, has no idea what she's talking about.

Bella fails to realize that Edward also treats her like a doll and not a person.

Laurent's Scouting Mission

As in canon, Laurent is probably sent by Victoria to scout. Victoria probably never left the area which means (remember this is book universe where Riley was in California) that she never turned Riley.

Without being all over the Forks area killing hikers, probably fewer wolves are turned. Yes, the Cullens are in the area, but they've been there three years, are very non-threatening, and in that time only Sam shifted.

We don't see the deluge of shifting until after the Cullens have left and Victoria starts actively attacking the area.

(Yes, this is worthy of a meta but that meta is not this meta)

Regardless, Laurent shows up, Sam's not sure if he's one of those friends of the Cullens or not, and Laurent walks in to see that all the Cullens are there.

Just like he expected.

Because Victoria has sent him to die.

Carlisle feels a headache coming on but is not shocked to see that Laurent's eyes are red again after only a few months. (Though this explains the sobbing phone call that Carlisle got from Irina asking if he'd seen Laurent because that beautiful, perfect, man has gone missing!)

Laurent provides some weasley bullshit explanation anyway. He asks, though it's really more of a demand, that he join the Cullen coven (much larger than the Denali, very gifted, and very powerful). Carlisle says no, Laurent has to stick to the diet if he joins the coven and he has to mean it. Given Laurent's current appearance, it seems as if Laurent is not willing to do that.

Laurent then begs them to let him stay: Victoria will murder him otherwise (and oh by the way she's after your Lunchable Bella Swan). That gets Edward into action, he demands Laurent's death and that he then hunt down Victoria personally.

Carlisle politely suggests that Laurent, rather than seek shelter from them who he knows Victoria intends to cross paths with, go back to the Denali and give the diet another whirl.

Laurent flees back to the Denali, Irina is ecstatic to see him. Victoria's not even surprised.

The family discusses what to do about Victoria. Carlisle would rather not hunt this woman down on hearsay alone. Jasper thinks they should have killed her to start and letting her escape was foolishness, he told them she'd be back. Edward for once is with Jasper, Victoria must be destroyed before she can harm Bella. They look to Alice and, yeah, there's a good possibility that Victoria will be back.

Edward is torn between hunting down Victoria and protecting Bella in person. Jasper leaves before he can make the decision, which of course angers Edward beyond belief, but, well, he guesses it is what it is.

Edward decides to not tell Bella that a vampire is after her life: it'll just worry her.

Jasper's Hunting Mission

Jasper likely has a devil of a time catching Victoria, as he did the first time, because of her gift. He ends up having very long phone calls with Alice as he tries to coordinate a successful solution to this.

Because Edward never left Bella, she never sought out Jake. She never forms her friendship with Jake nor realizes the secret behind the shapeshifters.

Billy tries to give Bella a few more ominous warnings but there's no getting through to this girl.

Edward never proposes to Bella because he's intent on leaving her after graduation. He does not tell Bella this though she constantly worries about it.

He assures her they can have a long distance relationship at college (he has no such intentions).

Victoria is kept out of the Forks area by Jasper and likely takes the one obvious route left to her. She has nothing left to live for, and it doesn't matter how much terror she lives in the Volturi, if this means her death then so be it.

She goes to the Volturi and narks on the Cullens.

Victoria Narks

It... does not go as planned.

Aro placates Caius with many excuses: this girl is in her primary schooling, is the only daughter of a police chief, she cannot simply disappear.

Carlisle is likely waiting until after she graduates and can disappear across the country.

And yes, technically this James fellow had bit Bella and they had their perfect chance but... Well, Aro will talk to Carlisle, it is not breaking the law yet.

Aro travels to Forks in person with Renata, shows up on Carlisle's doorstep, and says, "We need to talk."

Aro lays down the law, this girl better be turned after graduation, and Aro can only stall Caius so long. Also, great to see you, you built yourself a coven and that's perfectly marvelous.

Edward, of course, throws a fit but the law is the law and the law just visited them for tea. Aro makes it very clear that either Bella is turned, she dies, or Aro will have no choice to take adverse action against Edward at the very least (if not Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens).

Aro also points out this is an unsustainable relationship that's not good for anybody. Yes, it's too bad the girl has no choice, but they really should have thought of that before Edward walked around strongly hinting he wasn't human.

Edward insists they vote.

The vote doesn't go the way he likes.

Esme doesn't want Edward to live in misery after Bella dies, Rosalie doesn't like the idea of turning Bella but it appears they have no choice, Jasper (via conference call) doesn't want to be the one to eat Bella and it's stupid given the VOLTURI IS IN THE ROOM FOR THIS VOTE, and Carlisle notes that it appears Bella has no other option and at least this seems to be what she wants?

They will turn Bella after graduation.

Edward smashes a TV.

They tell Edward to tell Bella, it should come from him, Edward never does.

Instead, out of nowhere, he asks her to marry him and elope. They can live on a deserted island somewhere.

Bella thinks this is stupid and says no.

Edward dies inside.

Victoria Chooses Death

Victoria is out of options, the Volturi did not come through, and she wanders out of Volterra in a daze.

She guns it for Forks with Jasper hot on her tail. If there's one thing left for her, she will murder this Bella Swan before she dies. She fails, Jasper catches up to her in Forks and murders her.

No one tells Bella.

Graduation

After graduation, Carlisle picks Bella up. Bella has no idea what's happening, Carlisle assumes she does. Carlisle lays down the game plan, she's going to take a summer abroad before school starts, travelling with Alice, then both she and Alice will disappear in an accident.

Bella asks him to hold up, what the hell is he talking about?

Carlisle realizes with dull horror that Edward never told Bella. He awkwardly explains that the Volturi personally came to visit and, well, they have to turn Bella into a vampire.

He's very sorry.

Bella's very on board with this, she asks if it can be Edward that does it.

Carlisle says no, that's not a good idea.

They stare at each other.

Carlisle cannot believe Edward didn't tell her.

Edward and Bella do not get married nor does she have sex with him as a human.

[the-thieves-gambit]

"Hmm," all she replied at his answer. She wanted to point out that moving back would be their own choice and them living their own lives, but she knew it would be moot. Just because she understood it from the outside, didn't mean she knew the dynamics of it from the inside. This was just answer that she would have to accept at face value.

As she grabbed her dry cleaned suit, she looked at him with a confused look on her face. "I didn't really keep it, just kind of washed it and put it away so you could take it next time you popped up. Was I supposed to do something else with it?" There was a moment or two where she had half considered throwing it away or leaving it at the local shelter but each time that idea had crossed her mind, she felt bad about it. As she continued over to the living room she called over her shoulder, "They might just smell like lavender and jasmine soap for a while. Sorry." But she wasn't really, it was her favorite scent, always brining back a happy memory but it was a subconscious thing and she surrounded herself with it without even realizing she was.

Not bothering to change, after fluffing the throw pillows, she snuggled under the sheet in her dress and in the hoodie that Wally had been her. Her mind began to go over all the points as she stared out the window opposite of her, counting as many stars as she could see as she went over what she knew the Holden's would want. She had hoped that everything gathered at the disposition would be more than enough to have the divorce settled out of court. She had seen more than enough of McKinnley these last couple of weeks than she wanted to. When the wife had come to her months ago, she didn't hesitate to take her case but it had began to take a toll on her.

Soon enough she found herself drifting off. A small vague dream of being at a game with her father and Orion had began to take form when her brain suddenly yanked her back from her dream. Sounds in her place, someone was there, sitting up panic filled her, making her heart thud against her ribcage as old familiar memories came to mind. That was when she realized where she was and what she was wearing. Last night, it slowly came to the forefront of her mind. It was Wally. Not a stranger rooting around her place. Taking a deep breath in, she calmed down and waited for him to finish up in the bathroom and she heard him in the kitchen, she got up.

Not bothering to pick up her things for now, knowing that she would probably crash out on it again later on it when the Holden's left. Heading to the bathroom, she didn't take long to get ready, making sure that her button-up and suit pants were not wrinkled and her hair tied back, before making her way over to the kitchen. A good morning on her tongue when she froze as she saw Wally in her kitchen, milling around as if he had always been there. His hair was wet and down, unlike the slick back manner she had become accustomed to. There was something about that scene in front of her that made her feel...strange. A way she hadn't before. Her fingers itched to tuck his hair back but another part of her told her not to but instead run her fingers through his hair. Shaking the thoughts away, unsure where they had come from. "Morning. I see that you made yourself at home."

It was a joke as she smiled at him before opening a cabinet and getting a pack of pop tarts still remaining from Orion's recent visit. "Want one?" She held one out for him to take if he wanted. In the other hand, she ran through emails and messages on her phone making sure that she didn't miss anything. Then sent a quick message letting the lawyers know that she was home and to let her know when they arrived so she could let them in. Turning her attention back to Wally, "Thought you would take the chance to sleep in a while before having to head out."

"We've thought about it before," there was no decision made without the entire family backing it. "But ma didn't want us to move back. We all went back for college but she wanted to have us all lead our own lives. Not be stuck in the past. So we compromised. We go back to visit and she gets to have beach toes on the rare moments we get her to travel over here to Hawaii."

He stayed back at his car for a moment, grabbing his traveling overnight bag that had all his essentials. His need to be prepared for whatever always had him become extremely anal about having everything no matter where he went or was. Also traveling without a toothbrush was a crime. After making sure he had everything in his bag he closed the trunk and relocked the car, following her inside. As he walked inside he merely nodded, one hand on his bag strap and the other at his side. He let her get what she needed and decided to get to the bathroom to at least get half his routine done before she came back.

"You kept my clothes?" Amusement threatened to dance in his eyes as he looked at her with that half smirk that said he was surprised. Not that he was surprised over having left clothes here or over their late nights staying up to work on cases but over the fact she didn't just throw the clothes out. He'd think being told how much he annoyed her would have lead her to just throw all his shit out. He hummed and went over to the closet to get the clothes he had left here. What he didn't expect to see was his other hoodie. A soft chuckle escaped him as he saw it and couldn't help but wonder if she had also washed it. Half turning to look in her direction wherever she went he smiled. She was funny and this only further proved it.

It didn't take him long to change into his home attire which now consisted of his black hoodie and sweats. The thoughts went back to Liz and how she made it seem like she didn't care but oh she did. It took everything in him not to tease her about it. Sleep was calling his name and plopped himself down on the side that he always took. Once his head hit the pillow he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Somewhere between his sleep he woke up randomly. He didn't even need to see his phone to know it was early too early but that was his internal clock. He sat in bed for a few minutes scrolling through his phone before he set it down and got up to grab a shower. Once he was out and dressed he decided to let his hair down and not fuss with it. He wasn't going to bother doing himself up knowing he was just there as a detective and not as an agent. Long strand of hair covered his eyes as his hair was about to dry naturally and made his way out to the kitchen knowing where things were already. He was gonna be nice and set a cup for Liz. With his shuffling he was she could hear him.

[angellesword]

MAGIC SHOP | JJK (10)

Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?

Alternatively:

“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”

Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.

Warnings: mention of drugs (OC’s mom is a drug addict) character death, alcohol, psychological manipulation, physical abuse,

Chapter’s OST: Rewrite the Stars by James Arthur and Anne-Marie

Word Count: 3.8k

Series: CHAPTER 9 | CHAPTER 11

You moved into the mansion of the Kims a few months prior to Jong-in's death, meaning you met Soojin before Jungkook met her.

Back then, it was just you and your sister. No Jungkook in sight, no Jungkook to mess up with Soojin's heart.

Most importantly, Jungkook was exclusively yours. He was your best friend when you were six, but he became Soojin's crush when you were sixteen.

"What's that?" Sixteen years old Soojin asked upon seeing you open a purple box wrapped into a fancy ribbon.

"Oh," you stopped fiddling with the box to look at Soojin. She was still wearing her gown even though the party had ended hours ago.

You and Soojin celebrated your sixteenth birthday today—wait. This wasn't right. Admittedly, you didn't get to celebrate at all. Everyone was focused on your sister. She said she wanted a big party and because her family loved her so much, they gave her what she wanted.

How could they say no to the youngest and only daughter of Kim Taemin?

They were wrong though. Soojin wasn't the only daughter of Taemin. You existed too. The Kims just didn't know you were a part of their family too.

All they knew was that you're one of the charity cases of the head of their family. The Kims thought Taemin saw potential in you that was why he sheltered you. Taemin made his family think you're going to be an asset in Castle Architectural Firm, that allowing you to live in their mansion would pay off soon.

They were wrong. You were not an asset. You were a liability.

"It's a gift..." Sixteen years old you answered Soojin, a smile bloomed on your face as you ran your thumb over the ribbon. "Jungkook gave me a gift for my birthday."

Jungkook was the one and only person who remembered to give you a present. You said it wasn't necessary, that you're already content with the fact that he didn't forget your special day.

"Special people deserve gifts, Tiger." You remembered Jungkook telling this to you while ruffling your hair and scrunching his nose. "You're a gift too! A blessing who makes me happy."

Your heart fluttered at that. Jeon Jungkook really believed you were a blessing.

"Jungkook?" Soojin folded her arms over her chest, her brows furrowed. "As in Jeon Jungkook? My escort Jungkook?"

Your sister gave you a wild look, as if she couldn't believe someone like Jungkook would give you a present.

"Yes." You answered, avoiding her gaze.

Jungkook attended Soojin's sweet sixteenth party. Today was actually the first time they saw each other. Taemin realized it's time for his daughter and son's best friend to meet, mainly because they could be partners in the future.

This was Taemin's plan all along. The only reason why it took him long to introduce them together was because of you. He was afraid Jungkook would accidentally reveal to the Kims about you being an illegitimate child.

Taemin brushed off this worry now. He knew Jungkook cared about you, he wouldn't just go around telling people about your secret. Besides, he's a grown man already. He could handle secrets.

Originally, Jungkook attended the party because he wanted to see you. He wasn't at the venue for Soojin, he was just a guest anyway. Unfortunately, Yugyeom, Soojin's escort, couldn't make it since he was sick. This forced Jungkook to act on behalf of Yugyeom—to be a proxy.

Soojin was too proud to ask her brothers to stand and sit beside her throughout the entire program. She didn't want to look like no other boys wanted to be her so-called 'date' during her birthday celebration so she accepted Jungkook.

Soojin instantly fell for him. How could she not? Jungkook was perfect. He was endearing. His presence emanated comfort. It was probably because he had this soft look in his brown eyes and lips that were always forming into a gentle smile.

It was like you were safe when you're around him, as if nothing could ever go wrong. He looked at you and brought you into another world, a world where everything was sunshine and butterflies.

"But why?" Soojin whined. She was glaring at you. "Why would Jungkok give you a present? It's my birthday! Not yours!"

Of course she didn't know it was your birthday too. Taemin told you to keep it a secret for a while. You agreed because you didn't want the Kims to hate you. You wanted them to be comfortable around you before you revealed the truth to them.

Because if they ended up hating you, where would you go? Sin-ae barely acknowledged your presence in this house. You remembered her sneering at her husband for taking an 'orphan' in their custody.

One wrong move in your part and you'd belong in the trash can. Your mother wasn't fit to look after you anymore. Even if you wanted to go with her, you couldn't. The law wouldn't allow it. She was a danger to you. She was a druggie.

"Did you steal it?" Soojin scurried towards your direction, grabbing the box and hissing when you gaped at her.

"This is mine. Look! It says happy birthday!" Soojin threw daggers at you before opening the box. She gasped upon seeing a set of Farnsworth House LEGO Architecture, prompting her to believe that the gift definitely belonged to her.

Soojin's dream was to be an architect.

"N-No, Soojin-ah. Jungkok gave that—"

"Liar!" Your sister was fuming. She held the box in her arms firmly. "It's for me! You just stole it!"

You shook your head as you tried to take back what's yours. Regrettably, Soojin was unrelenting. She pushed your chest away, causing you to tumble down.

Soojin looked taken aback. She didn't mean to harm you. It's just that you're getting on her nerves.

"Oh my! I'm sorry!" Her eyes widened. She finally let go of the gift box to help you get up, however before you could reach for her hands, the door of your room swung open, revealing your father.

"What is happening here?" His voice sounded like loud thunder, startling Soojin. Her eyes dilated more, fear consumed her immediately that she ended up sputtering lies.

"Dad! This orphan stole Jungkook's gift for me!" She didn't mean it. She didn't want to lie, but she was scared. She knew how this scene looked like. You were on the floor, she was reaching out to you. Anyone who didn't know what happened would immediately think she hurt you.

She did, although Soojin didn't want to acknowledge that.

"I—I didn't steal anything!" You raised your voice because just like Soojin, you were afraid too. You were afraid and frustrated. Your father was looking at you as if you had disappointed him. You always looked up to Taemin, the fact that he was staring at you like that pained you.

"It's my birthday too! Jungkook and I are best friends! H-He gave me a gift." You trembled as you explained.

Soojin just scoffed though.

"Why do you keep lying? It's not your birthday! You're an orphan! Your parents probably left you on a gutter." She looked at you like you were a piece of garbage. "I know you don't have an identity but please stop stealing what's mine."

You couldn't believe it. Soojin was so mean that tears uncontrollably trickled down your face.

"I'm not an orphan. I have a family—"

Your father cut you off by directing his glare to your sister.

"Soojin." He uttered sternly. "Stop being mean to her. She's your sister."

"She is not my sister!" Soojin groaned. "I don't want her lying ass to be part of our family—"

"I told you to stop it!" You didn't know why your heartbeat doubled upon hearing your father's scream.

Was it because you're happy he was finally defending you? Or was it because you felt bad for your sister? He didn't have to shout at her face like that.

Soojin thought the same way too. Taemin never once raised his voice at her.

"I hate you! You don't love me anymore!" Soojin shoved her father's chest and then she stormed out of the room to go to her mother.

Everything happened as fast as Soojin's tears cascaded down her cheeks. She was annoyed and hurt and betrayed. She told Sin-ae the same lies she said to her father: that you stole Jungkook's gift for her and instead of being reprimanded, Taemin sided with you.

Sin-ae was raging upon knowing this. She was screaming bloody murder. She didn't understand why Taemin sided with an orphan like you instead of Soojin, his biological daughter.

"Because she's my daughter too! My flesh and blood!"

Chaos.

The Kims were in chaos when Taemin finally admitted the truth. He did it because he was getting tired of Sin-ae's loud voice, he also couldn't listen to Soojin's whine anymore. He was triggered by the way his two sons looked at him too—as if he was a scum.

It was a heartbreaking day for the Kims, but it was the time when you felt like you could finally breathe.

You missed calling Taemin 'father,' for months, he trained you to call him 'Sir.' Now that his family knew the truth, everything could go back to normal.

Except it didn't happen.

The Kims were colder to you. Sin-ae's actions were mostly uncalled for. She hated you to death. You were aware Seokjin and Namjoon felt the same way as well.

But Soojin....she wasn't like the rest of them.

"So you're really my sister, huh?" Soojin raised a brow at you two weeks after she found out the truth. She ignored you for days so you were surprised now that she was speaking to you again.

"Y-Yeah." You looked away, bracing yourself with the nasty things you thought she'd say.

Soojin simply smiled though.

"Great! I always wanted a sister! I'm happy I have you!" And then she embraced you.

It was an odd feeling, but it didn't mean you hated it. You were actually grateful for Soojin. She always reminded you that you two were siblings.

"I'm your sister, that means you're gonna do anything for me, right?"

You nodded. You always did. Anything for lovely Soojin.

"Help me get close to Jungkook! He's so nice! I wanna be friends with him too!"

It was fine. Everything was fine. Everything was going well. You were happy. Very, very happy.

You had Soojin. She loved you. She treated you like a family even though your father, your own father, was cold to you.

You believed he'd be able to show you how much he loved you the moment the truth was revealed. Sadly, you're wrong.

Taemin became distant. He barely looked at you. He didn't even defend you when Sin-ae did something terrible.

It was just Soojin who helped you. She sometimes defended you from her mother.

"Mother! Don't shout at her! She just wants to have fun. Midterm week is really stressful." You remembered the time your sister stopped her mother from slapping you.

You were seventeen that time. Soojin wanted to go to a club and party hard because midterm week, just like what she had said, was super stressful. Soojin forced you to go with her. She got drunk but you couldn't. Who would take care of her if you chose to drink too?

You had to drag Soojin home and help her sober up. Unfortunately, Sin-ae found out about what happened. Soojin told her mother it was your idea to go clubbing.

You didn't have the heart to go against your sister. She's your only ally. Besides, she saved you from her mother. She cared about you.

"Do not defend her, Kim Soojin! She's an abomination. She's gonna drag you down with her!" Regrettably, Sin-ae couldn't be stopped. She still ended up beating the shit out of you.

Soojin cried upon seeing you covered with bruises and blood. She kept apologizing but you simply brushed her off.

"Did you at least have fun?" You asked her.

Soojin only cried harder. You were always there for her. She appreciated that, she really did. But it wasn't enough to come clean to Sin-ae. She didn't want to look like a brat in front of her mother.

Sin-ae was the only one who loved Soojin with all of her heart. Your sister suspected that your father knew about the bad things she had been doing and that she's just putting the blame on you. She wasn't sure why Taemin was acting blind though.

Why hadn't he said anything? Why was he allowing her to continue to hurt you?

Soojin would probably never know the answer. This was why she didn't want to get on her mother's bad side. If ever Taemin decided he couldn't tolerate her anymore, then Soojin could at least seek the help of her mother.

But it was hard for Soojin. She felt bad when every time she blamed you for her wrongdoings, she saw how Taemin discreetly shook his head as if he's telling her he's disappointed with her.

You noticed it too. You were certain your father was ignoring the fact that you were hurt just so he could save Soojin's face.

At the age of nineteen, you finally confronted Taemin about this. You honestly didn't care that your sister was putting all the blame in you. You could handle it. What you hated was when your father pretended like you didn't exist, like he wasn't bothered Sin-ae was hurting you.

It was unfair. He hated your mother for physically abusing you before. Why couldn't he stop his wife from doing the same thing?

Was it because he loved Sin-ae?

It didn't matter. His reason didn't matter. You were done. You had to tell him what you feel.

So you did.

"Tell me, father..." You glowered as you harshly wiped the blood on the side of your mouth.

Sin-ae slapped you again. She hurt you because you accidentally broke her favorite teacup.

"Why are you always so hard on me?" You made sure to give him the most somber look you could muster, thinking it would cause him to feel something.

Love maybe? Or guilt?

You realized Taemin wasn't guilty the moment he responded to your question.

"Because I want you to be strong."

Such a cruel thing to say.

"This isn't how you make someone strong, father. You're not helping me—" You smiled although it didn't reach your eyes."—You're breaking me."

"Hey, are you still there?" You snapped out of your trance when you heard Jimin spoke.

He was on the other line, video calling you.

"Yeah. Sorry." You bit your bottom lip, smiling sheepishly at your roommate. It was the middle of the night in New York yet he still chose to call you—to be with you during this hard time. The least thing you could do was pay attention to him. "What were you saying again?"

Jimin sighed, not because he had to repeat his statement, but because he was worried about you. You always listened to him despite being tired. This was the first time you seemed so...out of it.

You could not focus on anything else. All that was on your mind was your father.

Your father who just died.

He died four days after you went back to Seoul.

"Tae said he couldn't make it. He's..." Jimin swallowed hard. He wasn't sure what words to use to describe your brother's current state. "He's devastated. He locked himself in your room after I told him what happened. Yoongi-hyung tried to talk to him but he doesn't want to see anyone right now."

You were positive Taehyung regretted his decision to stay in New York. You knew you should be comforting him right now, telling him that it's okay, that he couldn't possibly know that your father was going to die.

But you couldn't say any of those things. You'd be lying if you said you didn't resent him.

You did.

If Taehyung was here, you'd at least have the chance to talk to your father. Sin-ae wouldn't succeed in pushing you away if you just came with Taehyung.

It was unfair. Taehyung couldn't see your father because he was thousands of miles away from home. But you?

You were here. You were a few feet away from your father, yet you didn't get the chance to see him.

You were willing to see Taemin. Taehyung wasn't. He was given a chance. You weren't.

The world was unfair.

You had every right to hate your father after everything he had put you through; however, you couldn't. Not really. You loved him more than you hated him.

He was your father. He was mean to you for more than ten years, but he was also kind to you when you were younger. He wasn't always by your side, but you still felt how much he loved you.

"But don't worry, okay? He'll come around. Yoongi-hyung and I aren't going to give up on him." Jimin assured you.

"Thanks, Jimin-ah." The smile you rendered was sweet, you even batted your eyelashes at him, making him blush.

It wasn't your intention to flirt with Jimin or to string him along. But you were drunk. As fuck.

It seemed like this was the only thing you're good at. Sin-ae didn't let you see her husband, not before he died and not even after he died.

You weren't allowed to step foot in the mansion too. Your brothers, as much as they wanted to side with you, stopped themselves. Their mother was their priority. Sin-ae acted as if she's going to faint whenever you were around.

Seokjin and Namjoon didn't have a choice but to tell you to go. Soojin, on the other hand, didn't have a say in the matter. Literally. She was too injured to even speak.

And Jungkook...

Ah. Jeon Jungkook.

Damn Jeon Jungkook who couldn't leave you alone.

The first time you saw him after two years, he looked at you indifferently, like everything had changed. But when it's just the two of you, it was like the past nineteen months didn't happen.

He was back in your life. He was acting like a damn lost puppy, always following you.

Even now actually.

You were currently in a bar. You knew it's too early to be here, the sun was still shining brightly. You didn't care though. You had nothing better to do anyway.

You were sick staring at the cracked ceiling of your motor lodge room. Yeah, that's right. You were so broke you couldn't even afford to rent a decent hotel room.

Jungkook offered to let you stay in his apartment though. You were just too stubborn to agree.

You were tired of his face too. He's everywhere. He was on your mind, in your heart, and in the bar too. Admittedly, you could feel his piercing glare.

Jungkook was seated on a table near the window while you settled on a bar stool on the bar counter.

You realized Jungkook listened to your threat. You specifically told him just this morning that you didn't want him near you. He should at least be four meters away in order to be allowed in the same place as you.

You didn't need him to baby you, to try and fix you. You were sad because your father died, he's worried, you got it, but he was getting out of his way for you.

Jungkook rented the unit next to your room. When you confronted him about it, he only snorted.

"Why? I like this room. I happened to like my neighbor too. What are you gonna do about it?" He was challenging you.

Jungkook always got what he wanted, one way or another. He wanted to be with you. He tried inviting you to his home but you declined, the only way he could think of was to move next to your place.

In his defense, he was worried. The motel building didn't look safe. What if someone came to harm you?

Besides, he wanted to be there for you. He missed almost two years of your life. You got away because he didn't fight harder.

The moment Jungkook saw you again, he swore he wouldn't make the same mistake.

He would fight anyone—anything to have you, to restore your relationship.

"You're drunk." Jimin laughed when you lost your balance, almost falling from the chair.

You had been talking to Jimin for two hours now. He was doing a good job distracting you from the pain of losing someone. You appreciated it. You really did.

You were glad he could laugh with you. Being sad when someone's sad was overrated. They were just adding to the negative feeling that’s already existing. You were happy Jimin wasn't acting as if you were suddenly made of glass.

He always respected your feelings instead of trying to fix you.

"No, I'm not." You giggled, squinting your eyes and biting your lip. "I still see one Jimin. Your pretty face is clear to me, baby. I can see your angel eyes, your plump lips—" You hiccupped.

Jimin laughed again.

"If you're calling me baby, then you're really drunk."

"What if I want to call yo—" You weren't able to finish what you were saying when the line had been cut off.

Someone else was calling you.

You didn't usually answer unknown callers, but you were drunk and not thinking clearly.

"Who is this—"

"Stop calling that boy."

You didn't have to ask who the caller was. You already knew him. His voice wasn't always cold. As a matter of fact, this was the first time he gave you this kind of tone.

Jungkook was always warm and soft. A fire, you would say.

This time, however, he was cold and firm. An ice, you would say.

"Why?" You enquired when you overcame the feeling of being surprised.

Your breath hitched though when you heard him growl from the other line.

"You're seriously asking me that?" He cackled as goosebumps appeared on your skin.

You inhaled sharply, turning your head to look at him. You were curious. You wanted to see if Jungkook was really the person you're talking to right now.

But it was a mistake.

Looking at Jungkook was a mistake.

Jungkook was looking at you through hooded eyes. His phone was pressed against his ear, his right hand was tightly holding a glass of bourbon. Neat.

You shivered, especially when he said these words:

"Because I'm damn jealous."

A/N: i tried to finish this as soon as possible so i can watch attack on titan already. ahhhh!!!! i was recently introduced to anime (i’m so late i know) but please pleaseeee i beg you to recommend me your favorite anime! i don’t ‘really’ have preference, as long as it’s not PURE romance. 💜

[slutsofren]

Danger Days Chapter 8: Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back

summary: finding shelter in an abandoned home, you try to keep your wits about you and care for the still unconscious Joel until some trouble comes knocking

word count: 3,792

content warnings: mention of gore and impromptu medical care, more canon-typical violence, death, murder, arrival of.... cannibals, y'know the deal hurt/comfort

notes: i didn't mention it last time but yeah, your shit really can kill you if you get your lower intestines punctured lol it's a real thing and gnarly af

read on ao3 / masterlist

You woke up in a start. Heavy breaths taking hold in your lungs. The small, barely considerable amounts of sleep were getting to you as they had been for the last month as more and more night terrors racked your brain. Rubbing at your eyes, you pushed yourself up to begin your usual routine.

It had been a couple weeks since your little group found yet another abandoned home and it took some hell of maneuvering to get Joel into the basement but it worked. The winter snow was coming in full force and it was peritive you all kept Joel as warm as possible, there were too many odds stacked against him.

Walking over to his prone body, you checked on his wounds once more as you did practically every couple of hours. He was looking worse for wear, even changing out the gauze could only do so much. Whatever small amounts of clean water the three of you had went to cleaning it out, hoping to stave off the infection.

Joel was, by all means, not doing well.

To top it off, even with your meager amount of medic training from your days with FEDRA could never prepare you for the long-term haul you were in with Joel, he was dying. The bastard was dying and you couldn’t help but feel it was your fault.

Night after night you were haunted by the image of him falling off that balcony, the sounds of his groans of pain still lingered in your head even when you were awake. It fucking sucked.

He was asleep now, he barely woke up since everything went to shit at the university then at the mall. That in and of itself felt like a lifetime ago. You put a hand against his forehead, feeling how his fever still hadn’t broken. With the chill in the air as winter was fully settling in making your fingers cold as ice, he didn’t even flinch away. You closed your eyes and sighed, still not wanting to give up. Not for Ellie, not for Tommy, not even for the grumpy man himself.

A quick glance out the small basement window told you it was nearing dusk which startled you. Ellie had left when the sun was at its peak, sometime around noon, surely. She had been gone much much longer than she normally would have.

Usually it was you who left to go hunting for food once your supplies dwindled but Ellie wanted to help relieve the burden from your shoulders and you reluctantly agreed. Yo hated to admit you needed a break. She had argued she wanted to get better with her bow and arrow and she certainly did, often bringing back animals of various sizes. It was her way of coping with potentially losing Joel, something she confided in you that was one of her biggest fears.

Thoughts of Ellie swirled your mind and you paced back and forth, chewing at your fingernails. A nasty habit you suppressed most days. A part of you wanted to go find the girl, follow Callus’ tracks in the snow. Another part of you didn’t want to leave Joel by himself.

Fuck, you thought.

Compartmentalizing you figured if she didn’t return within an hour, you’d go looking for her. If you couldn’t locate her within a mile radius, a strict rule you enforced her limited hunting zone to, you’d hunker down with Joel and wait until morning to find her and scold her for being irresponsible.

You stopped your pacing to look at Joel’s face, seeing how his face was still warped in the painful scowl he hadn’t let go of. His features were beginning to slowly become gaunt as the small amounts of food you’d been able to get him to eat the rare times a day he’d wake were coming far and few in between. Even his usual tan skin was slowly softening to a cooler shade of bronze. He looked like death.

Joel, by all means, was a handsome cowboy. Even with his patchy beard that was littered with grey hair in a few spots. Now he just looked like a ghost of himself.

Okay, fine, you admit to yourself. With Joel down, you’ve kind of missed the fool. You missed the banter and arguing with him about stupid shit. He irritated the daylights out of you because he always wanted to jump headfirst into things without a care for his safety clearly but dammit, the lack of his presence was palpable. You hated it.

You sat beside Joel, removing one of his hands from under the blanket to hold. His hands still rough and calloused, mirrors of yours if you weren’t missing a finger. Once upon a time, you remembered hearing that coma patients could sometimes hear what people said to them, that it helped. Maybe talking to him now would help not just him but you as well, to keep your mind occupied. Maybe pass the time a little. Maybe.

“Hey, it’s me, you grumpy bastard,” you started off lightly. “I don’t know if you can tell but you’ve been puttin’ that girl and I through hell and back trying to keep your ass alive.”

A hollow laugh escapes you, feeling a little more choked up than you’d ever dare to admit. Composing yourself you tried to use playful banter. “How do you do it, cowboy? Ellie is a goddamned handful. Shit, I thought I was bad when I was a teenager,” you sniff, feeling your voice waver.

“When I first laid eyes on you two, I think it would have saved me a whole lotta trouble and pain if Maria let me shoot you,” you sigh dramatically. Even though there was a smile on your lips, it didn’t reach your eyes. What did were the tears that were slowly forming. The added stress of Ellie being missing was really wearing you thin.

Amongst other things.

“Y’know,” you sniffled, “you really hurt my feelings back at the university. When you thought I led the two of you into a trap.” You took a sharp inhale. “As much shit as you and I put each other through, that was the one thing that stung. More than anything.”

You squeezed his hand and sighed, closing your eyes. Admitting that was hard, stars know you’d never say that to Joel while he was conscious nor in front of Ellie.

“Don’t die, you asshole,” you begged softly, wiping away the light tears that coated your lashes, reluctantly letting go of Joel’s hand as you tucked the blanket around him tightly.

After you said your piece, your mind became overrun with the little turd you grew fond of. The more you began to worry about Ellie, the more your thoughts swirled rapidly into worst case scenarios.

Before you worked yourself into a much deeper frenzy, a loud metallic bang echoed from upstairs. You ran up the steps and came face to face with Ellie, looking just as frantic. She raised her hand and in it, a tied white rabbit, so white it was nearly silver in the dim lighting. “I got food,” she said breathlessly.

“And,” she shoved you aside and took off to the basement, “I got this. Can it help?”

Ellie reached into her pocket and pulled out a syringe and orange bottle, she handed it to you while kneeling next to Joel as he shifted in his sleep. You were still rather shocked to see Ellie who looked faintly bloodied and tired, before you could comment on the new rifle on her shoulder, you took the bottle and were damn near milliseconds from riding into her until you read the faded label of the glass container.

Penicillin.

“Where the fuck did you get this, Ellie?”

Without waiting for her to answer, you dug in your pack and pulled out some disinfectant alcohol and a gauze pad to clean the syringe and a spot on Joel’s arm. Ellie refused to look up from where she kept her gaze focused on Joel’s face, “‘s not important.”

“If I wasn’t so mad at you right now, I’d kiss you.”

Throwing away all the questions you had for her, you administered the antibiotic as quickly as you could, he sighed as the medicine entered his body. Although, it was likely you were giving him too much, truthfully, you didn’t think it would hurt him worse than he already was.

As he relaxed underneath your hands, you looked down at his wound one last time for the evening. The haphazard stitches were taut on his stomach where the swelling was, hopefully by morning, he’d be better.

You didn’t look up from Joel as you laid into Ellie, “I don’t want excuses about where you were, only that you promise me to be more careful in the future, please.”

“Ye- yeah, I promise.”

“Good,” you covered Joel back up, “Now go get some rest. I’ll take care of the rabbit and wake you when it’s done.”

You turned your back to Ellie, it wasn’t that you wanted her to feel bad for her little disappearing act. You just needed some space to gather your thoughts. Between being Joel’s caretaker, Ellie’s temporary guardian, and keeping yourself sane, you were a wreck. You needed a moment.

Before you took a step on the stairs you paused. “Good work on getting the medicine, kiddo. Joel would be proud of you too.”

She didn’t respond as you walked away, the implication that although you were upset with her, you were still proud lingered in the air. Mindlessly, you focused on the rabbit, doing what needs to be done to cook it for dinner, pushing away those lingering worries. Ellie was safe, you reminded yourself, she came back.

It didn’t take you long to finish with your meager dinner, still pretty damn proud of Ellie’s evolving hunting skills. Maybe you’d offer to teach her a couple snares in the morning to leave out overnight. Although they tended not to gain anything bigger than a rabbit or a squirrel, something was better than nothing and you’d figure it would help Ellie focus on something other than Joel’s condition.

You bounded down the stairs, bringing the freshly cooked meat with you. A small shake to her shoulder and she was awake, “Dinner’s ready.”

Ellie didn’t bring her gaze up to look you in the eye, likely still ashamed. The two of you still sat in silence eating, occasionally looking to Joel for any changes or whenever he shifted in his sleep.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice sounding small.

“I know, Ellie. I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I was just worried.”

Once again, the silence encompassed you both like a blanket, warmer now than it was before. You broke it first, “I was thinking about teaching you a couple snares in the morning. How does that sound?”

Ellie wiped the grease from her fingers on her jeans and looked up, “I think I’d like that.”

Just like that, the two of you were on even footing. It didn’t feel right to be mad at each other, not when Joel wasn’t there to diffuse. Either way, it was much like when you were the one in between their own fight that day you’d met them, it wasn’t healthy when you all had to rely on each other for survival. At least with Ellie, she was quick to forgive and forget in the face of the larger picture. A quality you kind of admired in the young woman.

Both of you finished with your portions of the meat, saving the rest for the morning or for Joel if he wakes in the night. Simultaneously you shuffled through the remaining ammo together, doling out some spare bullets to Ellie for her shiny new rifle, still not going to ask how she acquired it. Let her have her space.

She took the bullets graciously, reloading her sidearm and long range weapons and placing them in her backpack before getting ready for sleep. You stayed fiddling with your own weapons for a few moments longer before calling it quits too.

You laid down on the opposite side of Joel, biting your lip and hoping for the best. You tossed and turned, not knowing if you could take facing Joel’s sickly frame but you also couldn’t turn your back on him and Ellie who laid on her backpack on his other side.

Please, you wished, let the medicine take.

These kinds of wishes filled your mind until you slowly drifted to a fitful night’s sleep.

By morning, you happened to find yourself shaken awake with Ellie’s face close to yours, “Wake up, I need you awake!”

You jumped up, onto your knees. “What is it,” you ask startled, afraid Joel was worse than he was when you fell asleep. Looking at Joel, he didn’t look like he deteriorated in the night, but he also didn’t look like he improved any.

“I was tracked,” she says as if that explains anything. Both of you have your hands on each other's arms in a failed attempt at communicating the other’s panic.

“What do you mean ‘tracked’, Ellie?”

“Those people I got the medicine from, David and-and James, they fucking tracked me!”

“Ellie, what the fu-.”

“Look, listen, I’m gonna draw them away. Keep an eye on Joel,” she tells you in a rush, letting go of you and bolting up the stairs, grabbing her backpack on the way out.

“Fuck,” you practically shout while getting up and looking out the window. Outside you see silhouettes of a few men, searching the nearby area. Frustrated, you kick the washing machine.

Shit, shit, shit.

You don’t know what to do, you feel tied down once again because of Joel’s condition and Ellie’s neverending saviour complex. You mumble out a few more expletives at this situation just as you see the girl bound down the street on Callus shouting for the intruder’s attention. As she rides away, you hear bullets being shot at her, getting further and further away from you.

You carelessly threw your denim coat on and opted to grab your knives instead of guns, hoping to kill anybody who came close without alerting the others. Out the basement window, you could see a few of the men still lurking about, choosing not to follow Ellie.

Just before you followed Ellie out of the house, you doubled back to Joel, kneeling forward and giving him a kiss on the forehead. “We’ll come back, I promise you Joel. Just please, don’t die on me now.” Another kiss on his warm skin and you left without stopping, barricading the basement door as if it was left unoccupied.

Everything in you wanted to panic, your muscles were screaming to fold in on yourself and heave what little food remained in your stomach but you couldn’t give in. Not when Ellie was in danger. She may have been a pain in the ass, but she was your pain in the ass.

After your conversation last night, you’d be damned if anybody hurts your girl.

Taking a deep breath, you shook your worries free and cleared your mind. Although you were a field medic by title with FEDRA back in the day, working with them turned you into a killer. It was a toxic mindset for you, even when you had joined the Fireflies, they took advantage of your ability to focus on one thing and one thing only, turning it into their own game - death.

It took years to shake off that blank emotionless part of you, even Tommy was afraid of it when he saw the horrendous things you were capable of, what the Fireflies exploited from you, but Tommy wasn’t here and the people you loved were hanging on by a thread.

It was easy to see the outlines of the few straggling men who searched the nearby homes, whatever Ellie did really pissed them off. Now, these people only pissed you off.

You stayed lurking within the shadows of the homes, even with the sun just getting ready to set, it wasn’t too difficult to stay hidden. Especially to those who weren’t familiar with the layout. It was easy to spot how the few men tended to remain within a handful of yards together, opting not to venture out into the buildings alone. Alert and yet unorganized as you could see how they would often turn their backs on each other, giving you such a delicious opportunity to sneak in and out, weaving through them and taking them down one by one.

Was it absolutely horrible this was your instinct? Maybe. But you had two people you wanted to protect, two absolutely annoying yet selfless humans who gave you hope. You did love Joel and Ellie, even if you hadn’t admitted to it yet. Besides, you had a whole lot of stress burdening your shoulders and you wanna hit something.

You watched as the small group approached one of the homes off to the left, allowing you ample room to get close without having to cross the street in the open. You took off running, not bothering to try and conceal your footprints in the snow as you got to the house besides the targets. You entered through a broken window - a common for every single house on this block. Taking lighter footsteps, you ducked by the windows and reached the second floor landing.

The homes in this area were built within close proximity to the others, making it easy for, say, somebody needing to jump between windows without being seen. Perfect.

You listened hard and close as the men shuffled and tossed things around the first floor, looking for any sign of Ellie and ‘those two people she was with’. You growled lowly, really hating the implication that these people knew about the three of you.

Taking another assessment, you noticed there were two men standing guard out the front of the house, idly walking to-and-fro, their conversation remaining on wishing they were chasing Ellie instead.

A deep breath in and you jumped with an ‘oof’, trying to make as little as noise as possible, aiming for a wide open window with a snow covered bed on the other side. Between the snow and the mattress, the noise was cushioned to only a small thud, thankfully concealed by the thuds of the men downstairs shuffling through rooms. You quickly got up and went to the doorframe and saw there was only a hallway and stairs leading down.

You took deeper breaths again, trying to center yourself for what you were about to do as you heard one person come up the stairs - alone.

Placing your body flush against the wall, you waited in stark concentration, drawing your knife from its sheath. The footsteps came close, nearing the room you were hiding in and just as an armed gunman came in, you rushed him. Putting one hand against their forehead, you pulled the other hand and dragged the knife into their throat, essentially cutting off the person from making a noise and ending their life. You pulled and lowered their body as they began to choke out, laying them on the floor gently against the wall, carelessly hiding the body.

Downstairs you could still hear shuffling of the other invader and you made your way to them, silently assessing.

From what you could tell, the other person was banging around in the basement. So you rounded a nearby corner to where the open basement door was until finally, finally, somebody came through. You took him down just the same as his buddy.

So unorganized, you thought. If they were really looking for you and Joel, they were doing a piss poor job of it.

You swiped a bottle from the kitchen as you strolled past, taking aim out a broken window. Giving it a nice little toss, it shattered against the other house and without fail, you heard the tell-tale signs of one of the other men asking ‘what was that’. You ducked behind the faded curtain until one of the targets came into view, watching how he was pensive and alert, fortunately he was by himself which made the next part just as easy.

As soon as the man walked by the window, you jumped out from your hiding spot and jabbed your hunting knife straight into the soft squishy part of his eye, surprisingly facing little to no resistance.

You pulled it back and repeated the motion again once the man made an audible noise, probably alerting his friend. In only a slight rush now, you jumped out the window and removed your blade, now stalking towards the front when you could hear the other man yell the other’s names.

Wrapping around the corner of a house in a whirlwind, you surprised the last one when you stood face-to-face with him. He looked at you, astounded, mouth agape and dropped his weapon - a handgun. Looking down at his body, he whimpered as he took in the sight of your knife now buried deep in his stomach as you yanked them up into his chest piercing his heart.

Copper scent filled the air as the hunter’s body gave out. His blood spilling down your front. Under normal circumstances you would’ve likely vomited all over yourself but considering the innate need to protect Ellie and Joel, all that shit is blown out the window.

All in all, maybe thirty minutes have passed, you wanted to check on Joel but the distant gunshots were making you worried. At the very least, the longer they went off, the longer you knew your little fighter was alive.

Okay, think, you tried to get yourself to focus. You came up with a rapid-fire plan and before you could second guess yourself, you ran. Refusing to stop. Each step in the plush snow found you closer and closer to your hideout.

Entering the home through the garage, you gave Whiskey a pat as you walked on by and headed straight for the basement. You pushed the undisturbed barricade from the door, grateful it signaled that Joel was safe. Entering the downtrodden room you grabbed your holsters, strapping them maybe a little more tightly than you should’ve and throwing your backpack over your shoulders. You double-checked your weapons, making sure they were fully loaded.

Once again, you kneeled next to Joel as he laid on the dirty mattress, huffing from the rising pain from the stitch in your side. “Joel? I’m gonna go back out and find Ellie. I’m gonna go get our girl,” you said.

You hoped you were telling the truth.

[preciouspeterbparker]

i wish i were

inspired by conan gray’s “heather”

warnings: stepsibling incest (not yet but that’s the whole premise), underage masturbation, underage sex, angst. peter’s like 16 and a half, Tony’s almost 18

word count: 2.2k

summary: peter’s in love with his big brother. no biggie. (spoiler alert: it’s a big deal)

(A/N: okay this has been living in my head rent free for over a month. i've written more, but it's not fully fleshed out yet. 

i figured i would post this and see if anyone is interested in reading it before i put a bunch more effort in lmao. this is filth. most of the angst comes later lololol (and more filth).

i hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think / if you'd like to read more!

- bloo)

PART ONE

Peter stands at his locker, desperately trying to blend in and remain unseen as he switches out his English textbook for Physics. The school year is basically over, given that it’s the last week of May but he’s still not comfortable in the junior-senior hallway. He’s always been the youngest (and therefore smallest) kid in most of his classes, given that he’s been in the ‘gifted & talented’ track since middle school. (He’s on track to graduate next year, taking his last few mandatory classes and completing an internship for additional credit.) This year, Peter feels even smaller than usual; maybe because most of the seniors are already eighteen, while as a sophomore, he isn’t even seventeen. He doesn’t have many friends this year, because of it. Ned moved away last summer because his dad got a new job, and, well, he’d never really needed more than Ned before. 

“Hey Pete-squeak,” comes a voice from behind, making him jump. Rolling his eyes, Peter pivots slightly to face the newcomer. The infestation of butterflies that he's been harboring for the past few months begins to flutter immediately, tickling the walls of his stomach as his cheeks flush lightly.

The voice belongs to a tall (or, well, taller than Peter, anyway), ridiculously handsome boy with dark hair and dark eyes, walking towards Peter with his hands in his pockets. The cheeky smirk on his face is all but permanent, but the small, genuine smile it slips into is something that Peter holds close to his chest, something that is typically reserved for him.  

Tony, his older brother, is pretty much Peter's favorite person in the world. Technically, he’s Peter’s step brother. Maria, his mom, and Peter’s dad Richard got married when Peter was a year old and Tony was almost three. They’d essentially spent their whole lives together; neither of them could really remember anything before. They’ve always been close, but that’s changed a little bit this year.

“Hey Tony,” Peter chirps, reaching back into his locker to grab his physics binder. He tries to act natural, even though he feels anything but. His heart’s going a mile a minute inside his rib cage. He feels a little ridiculous, he has for the past few months. Swallowing, he manages to sound relatively calm. “You read the last 2 chapters of Beowulf, right? Mrs. Herrera gave us a pop quiz last period.” 

The older teen groans. Closing his eyes, he throws his head back, a metallic thunk sounding as it collides with the locker he’s leaning back on. “Fucking hell. The final paper is due in like four fucking days! Is that not enough?” It’s quiet for a moment as Tony pauses before he opens one eye, cutting it to look at Peter. “What were the answers?” 

Peter snorts in response, shutting his locker. “Not happening, T.”  He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time and lets the left side of his body rest against the cool metal. Three minutes til the bell rings, and Mr. Riley’s class is right across the hall. So he’s essentially got three minutes to indulge himself and the fuzzy warmth that’s running through his veins. He loves any time he gets to spend with Tony. “You’re lucky I told you at all, be grateful.” 

Tony wrinkles his nose at him. “Rude,” he scoffs in mock offense. “I know you can remember them,” comes his teasing accusation. (And he’s right. Peter can recall the entirety of the quiz, but he’s still not going to enable Tony.) Then he pauses and raises an eyebrow at his younger brother. “Is that my sweatshirt?” The garment in question is a worn and slightly faded black Led Zeppelin USA 1977 crewneck sweatshirt. Peter’s wearing it over a charcoal and white check button-up. The sweatshirt is one of Tony’s favorite pieces of clothing, he wears it all the time (hence why Peter...borrowed it...without asking).

Having mentally prepared himself to be questioned at some point, Peter’s reply is already on the tip of his tongue. “Yeah, it ended up in my laundry and once I put it on it was too cozy to take off. And it looks good with these jeans and the button-up. And my boots. Trying out a new look,” he finishes, smiling as he pushes his glasses further up his nose. Tony often teased him about the thick, clear-but-slightly-pink frames, but Peter hadn’t wanted glasses at all (he doesn’t need any more reasons to be teased, thank you), but he likes these. They make him look cute, more feminine. More like someone Tony could want. 

“You’re right,” Tony smiles. One of his hands comes up to playfully ruffle at Peter’s russet hair. “Looks great on you, kid.” There’s warm affection in his voice. 

Peter feels his cheeks go hot again, and he wills the flush to go away. He can’t take compliments from Tony, now- they make him ache and preen simultaneously. He knows that Tony doesn’t mean it the way he wants. Peter knows that Tony would never speak to him again if he knew what was really going on inside his little brother’s head. The thought makes him sick to his stomach. 

Speaking of stomachs. “Hey,” he starts as he fingers through the papers in his physics binder, attempting to find the problem set that’s due today. “Did you ever catch up on Hell’s Kitchen? I’ve been rewatching episodes trying to wait for you, but you’re taking too long. You saw the episode where Gordon-” Peter’s heart falls to his stomach and he abruptly stops speaking when he looks up to notice that Tony isn’t looking at him anymore, barely seems to be listening. 

It falls completely out of his ass when he sees just what, just who, has stolen his attention. 

“Sorry, Pete, gotta go,” Tony mutters once he realizes that Peter’s stopped talking, shooting him a hasty smile and shoving off the navy metal. He skirts past Peter, a slight skip in his step as he makes his way down the hallway. 

Peter's swallows and clenches his jaw as he watches his brother walk straight to her, the bane of his existence. The reason he and Tony don’t spend as much time together anymore. The object of Tony’s affections. Pepper. She's...everything Peter wishes he could be, honestly. Tall, somehow a perfect mix of skinny & curvy, bright blue eyes, long strawberry-blonde hair. She's perfect. And not only in looks; she's also ridiculously smart. If Tony wasn’t valedictorian, she surely would be. She even volunteers at the local soup kitchen every weekend, and Peter’s pretty sure she reads to dogs at the animal shelter once a month. He hates that Pepper is so nice; he hates that he can't hate her without hating himself for it. 

As if he didn't have enough self-loathing already.

***

Peter exits the bathroom that connects his bedroom with Tony’s after gently flicking the lock on his brother’s door to disengage it, the soft ‘snick’ ridiculously loud in the quiet of the house. He’s the only one home; Mom and Dad are at some sort of event for Dad’s law firm, and Tony went to a party at Rhodey’s house. (Tony had insisted that Peter was invited, but he had to know that the younger would never go- why would he want to be surrounded by drunk, horny, belligerent teenagers? The last thing he wanted to see was Tony and- )

There’s a dark gray towel loosely wrapped around his waist, so loose he has to clutch it in his hand to keep it from falling. He closes his own bathroom door behind him and drops the towel, digging through his underwear drawer to pull out a random pair of plaid boxers. 

After sliding them on, the brunette takes a deep breath and lays back against the pillows, arms behind his head. He tries to consciously relax his muscles, the tension of the day not having melted away during his shower like he had hoped. Time for Plan B. It’s never let him down before. Peter reaches for his phone and unlocks it before swiping through his apps to open Spotify. The sound of “Dazed and Confused” fills the air through his speakers, and he sets it to repeat on a loop. It’s a little fucked up, the way he’s conditioned himself to respond to this song, but- Peter knows the whole thing is fucked up; he’s fucked up. 

Closing his eyes, he does the only thing he’s been capable of for months: he thinks of his older brother. 

He’s growing fond of the new facial hair Tony’s trying out; he wonders how it would feel against his skin. Which areas would be the most sensitive to its touch? His thighs? His neck? Peter’s head tilts back and to the side as he imagines wet, warm lips and the scratch of stubble. Just the thought, the phantom sensation, makes a soft mewl leave his mouth. It’s a little ridiculous how easy he can get himself going, when he thinks of Tony’s touch, of his body. Of his love. In his boxers, his cock shifts against his thigh as it begins to fill out. 

The sensual, plucky bassline and wailing guitars of the song drag along, and so does Peter’s breathing as he brings a hand up to pinch at one of his nipples. He imagines the way Tony would tease him until he was whining, begging for release. He supposes it wouldn’t be dissimilar to his older brother’s typical manner of playfully taunting him. Maybe Tony would pin him down like he did when they were younger, climb on top of him and hold him there with the muscles he’s gained from boxing in the garage. The opportunities he’s had to see the older teen breathing heavy, shirtless and glistening with sweat, would be forever ingrained in his mind. The mental image sends more blood rushing south and his dick throbs as it quickly reaches full hardness, drawing a gasp from his mouth. 

Peter takes himself in hand, studying the details of his cock. He knows he’s not huge, but he’s at least on the larger side of average. It’s flushed a deep, mauve-y pink, and he traces the line of a vein on the side with the tip of his pinkie. A shiver shoots down his spine. He wonders how similar it is to Tony’s. Is he circumcised like Peter is? Is he bigger? Longer, thicker even? Sure, he’s seen him naked before, when they were younger changing or in the bath, but that stopped around the time Tony was seven or eight. 

(Tony and Peter had come home from school one day, and Peter’s head had been reeling over what he heard some older girls saying on the bus. He’d decided to ask Tony about it. His big brother knew everything. ...Mom & Dad caught them kissing in their bedroom. That was the end of bathing together, and Tony got his own room, too. Peter never forgot about the way his big brother’s lips felt against his own.) 

A bead of precum oozes out of his tip and Peter rubs his thumb over it, smearing the liquid over his cockhead. Robert Plant’s voice moans over the speaker and Peter echoes the sound as he slowly strokes himself with a loose grip, his hole tightening around nothing. Biting his lip, he hesitates before slipping his left pointer finger into his mouth, rolling his tongue around it sloppily. Once it’s wet, he reaches down and gently presses the pad of his finger against the tightly furled muscle between his cheeks. His breath hitches as the sensation; he’s only touched himself down here a couple of times before. 

The tip of his finger begins to breach his opening and a whine leaves Peter’s mouth. It stings a bit so he tries to relax, muscles fluttering, making a mental note to grab some lube next time he goes to the drugstore. He wants to be able to stretch himself out more, to imagine Tony’s fingers, Tony’s cock, splitting him open and stuffing him full. Fuck-

Tightening his grip on the base of his cock, Peter grits his teeth and grunts softly as he pulls his finger from his ass. He can’t cum yet- he’s not done. He reaches under his pillow, pulling out the balled-up t-shirt that’s taken up residence there. The black fabric has faded in some spots, and the Black Sabbath logo is cracked and worn; it’s one of Tony’s favorite shirts. Peter brings the soft cloth up to his nose, fumbling with it to find the area with the strongest smell. There are hints of Tony’s Old Spice deodorant mixed with a scent that’s distinctly Tony, a warm, masculine musk that has saliva pooling in Peter’s mouth. Delirious, fucking his hand to the beat, he wishes he had dug a little further in the hamper, pulled out a pair of Tony’s briefs. 

That’s the thought that does him in. Peter cums into his fist, gasping his brother’s name, the sound getting muddled in the maelstrom of guitar and drums. Thick ropes of jizz splatter on his stomach and chest, entire abdomen heaving with his breaths. 

He wipes the mess up with Tony’s t-shirt before tucking the fabric back under his pillow for safe keeping.

to be continued???

[danceworshipper]

Ida Sommer - HPHL MC

Info subject to change as more game information is released. All of my HPHL ocs exist in the same universe

[profile template by me]

Personal

Full Name: Ida Marie Sommer

Gender: Female (cis)

Sexuality: Pansexual (closeted)

Birthday: August 20th

Birthstone: Peridot

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Age: 14 (at beginning of game)

Blood Status: Pureblood

3 Positive Traits:

- Charming

- Spiritual (nature oriented)

- Resilient

3 Negative Traits:

- Childish

- Uncommunicative

- Vain

Usual First Impression: When first meeting Ida, people often assume she is immature, ignorant, and easy to take advantage of due to her sheltered nature and cutesy appearance. This impression is highly incorrect

Location

Birthplace: Germany (exact location TBD)

Current Home: Her father's estate in one of the richest areas (Germany)

Future Home: A beautiful cottage secluded from the world, near a mountainside (Germany)

Favorite Place: A cliff overseeing the sea in Japan, close to the little shop where she got her wand

Disliked Place: Her maternal grandparents' home, simply because she doesn't enjoy their company

Appearance

[image created using the Live Portrait Maker app]

Face Shape: Roundish jaw, soft features with a strong brow bone

Eye Color: Yellowish green

Hair Color: Light blonde

Hair Style: Ida wears her hair down or in a single braid. Her hair is mostly straight with side bangs, and is parted in the middle

Skin Tone: Light

Freckles/Spots: A few freckles on her cheeks, more visible when she's been out in the sun

Scars: None during her schooling. After graduation, Ida marks her arms with runes only she and Sebastien can make sense of to strengthen her connection to the world around her

Piercings/Tattoos: Single earlobe piercings.

Final Height: 5'9"

Final Weight: 137lbs

Physique: Thin with long legs, slightly wider than average shoulders

Clothing Style: Ida is a rich kid, so her clothing is always of high quality material and her jewelry is noticeably unflawed. She dresses modestly until she turns seventeen, when she stops caring what her parents think. Her favorite colors to wear are pastels

Carried Items:

- her wand

- a locket with a picture of her and her parents in it - not worn, but kept in her satchel

- a silver pocket watch stuck at 11:18 pm, handed to her by the same Seer who told her where to get her wand

- a handful of candy

- extra quills for her roommate who keeps forgetting hers

- a book from the Restricted Section about Elementals, written by Elementals and charmed so no one other than an Elemental can ever figure out what it says

Magic

Wand: 12 inches of firm Ebony wood with a koi-mer hair core. A pitch black, rounded wand with a pattern of scales carved into the handle. This wand was custom made in a small, almost unknown shop in Japan after a Seer she bumped into on the street told Ida that her perfect wand would be created there. It would seem foolish to go all the way from Germany to Japan on the word of an unknown Seer, but it was Ida's turn to plan the summer trip, so she picked a place in Japan close enough to the mentioned shop

Animagus: Loon

Boggart Form: A headless figure easily recognizable as herself, crumbling away into dust. A failed attempt to merge with nature resulting in her demise

Riddikulus Form: A statue of her like the one in her parents' back garden, over glorifying her features, that has been attacked and is crumbling away. She hates that statue

Amortentia (to others): Someone smelling Ida would smell lime juice, fresh water, and static electricity

Amortentia (to her): TBD

Patronus: Ida has never been able to cast a Patronus. Not for a lack of happy enough memories, but because of her powerful soul. The Patronus can never escape her magical core

Patronus Memory: N/A

Mirror of Erised: A tree so big it grows up an entire mountainside. The tree bark is covered in swirling patterns Ida recognizes as Elemental runes. She doesn't yet know what exactly this tree is, but she feels an undeniable longing for it

Family Spells: The Sommer family has no special family spells

Inherent Magic: Elemental

- Ida has all the magic of a normal witch, but on top of that has a deep connection to the earth and the magic stemming from it, even beyond the earth into the universe. If not properly trained (or if driven to a great enough temptation), an Elemental could vaporize the entire planet, or bend it to their will. They could also leave humanity behind if they so wished and become nature itself

- Elementals are theorized to have fragments of Merlin's soul fused with their own, hence why they feel strong connections to each other and can't ever fatally harm one of their own. Most Elementals also fall in love with each other as well, and the connection is thought to be stronger than a normal human's love could ever be. These connections help ensure no Elemental gives in to whichever temptation has the strongest pull on them. Only one Elemental has ever yet gone evil, and this is how it was discovered that they cannot kill one another

- This special magic is not hereditary. In fact, no one knows what causes someone to be born an Elemental, only that there have been less and less of them in the recent centuries. There are only two known Elementals left: Ida and Sebastien

Family

Mother: Lina is a warm hearted woman who wants the best for her daughter, misguided though she might be. She often has to shout at her husband to trying to hold Ida back, or discourage Ida's dreams. She noticed Ida's growing power long before her husband did, and was the one to finally contact someone for help when Ida grew so strong and uncontrolled she couldn't stop floating

Father: Elias is a business oriented man who, though he loves his daughter, up until her reveal as an Elemental wished she was a son. He's the reason Ida was homeschooled for so long, as he didn't think a girl was worth the tuition money. He refused to believe that Ida was anything other than ordinary until a man in a high position told him otherwise

Sisters: None

Brothers: None

Pets: A screech owl named Goldig, meaning 'cute'

Other Important Family: Ida's paternal aunt, Ingrid, is one of the biggest influences in her life as a child. Ingrid is an independent witch who lives fabulously by herself with her dead husband's fortune. Ida used to yearn for a future where she wasn't tied down by a man and could do as she pleased

Family Values: The Sommer family as a whole is mainly concerned with two things: remaining pureblooded, and growing richer. Most of the Sommers are decently good people, but they have period-appropriate prejudices and are willing to leave someone behind to save themselves, metaphorically and literally

Opinion on Family: Up until entering Hogwarts, Ida really only knew her family, so she loved them and thought very highly of them. As she becomes more socialized and learns more about the world, she starts to notice her parents' many flaws and though she never stopped loving them, she does resent them for homeschooling her and ignoring the signs of her being abnormal, because she used to think she was broken when in reality she's nearly a god

Friendships

Introverted or Extroverted: Extroverted

Best Friend: Sebastien Parr - another mc of mine who is also an Elemental, and an exchange student from Beauxbatons

Worst Friend: TBD

Friend She Didn't Expect: TBD

Who She Wishes Was Her Friend: TBD

List of Casual Friends:

- Sophia Burton @gcldensnitch

- Charlotte Grant @weasleysandwheezes

- canon friends TBD

Romance

Current Crush: None

Current Partner: None

Past Partners: None

Future Partners: TBD - will likely be picked from the game's characters, but could possibly be someone else's mc

Her Type: TBD

Hogwarts

House: Slytherin

Prefect Status: No

Quidditch: Never played, but loves to watch

Clubs: None

Organizations: The fake Headmaster's Apprentices organization that she and Sebastien use to hide what they're really doing

Favorite Class: Herbology

Least Favorite Class: History of Magic

Favorite Professor: TBD

Least Favorite Professor: TBD

Timeline

Young Childhood: Ida is kept at home. She knows no children her age, and spends most of her free time roaming her father's land. No matter how far she wanders, she never seems to get lost. Ida has strange dreams where she watches the world as an outsider. After being told by a Seer that her ideal wand would be created at a small shop in Japan, Ida convinces her father to spend a month there over the summer, and her mother takes her to the shop to get her wand. Ida sneaks out one night and climbs a cliff that looks out over the ocean. In later years she can't remember whether rising up over the waters and hearing the stars call to her by name was a dream or not, but she knows the moon smiled at her.

First Year: N/A

Second Year: N/A

Third Year: Ida's uncontrolled Elemental magic reaches a breaking point, and Ida explodes her little study room as she lifts up in the air, unable to come down. Her mother sends for help: two healers, a historian, and three government officials later, Ida is brought down and informed that she will be enrolled in Hogwarts the following year. She is not informed why, though her parents are

Fourth Year: Ida enters Hogwarts with no social skills. She meets Sebastien and they're both informed of their true nature. As Ida struggles to catch up on her studies as well as train her Elemental magic, she also learns just how wonderful having friends her age is

Fifth Year: TBD

Sixth Year: Ida grows suspicious of Sebastien's "friend" Dorian. Other details TBD

Seventh Year: TBD

Post Graduation: Ida marks herself with ancient Elemental runes and her father gifts her the cottage. She spends a year and a half where almost no one hears from her, before appearing back in her friends' lives as if nothing happened, looking healthier and happier than ever

Career(s): Ida doesn't live long enough to have a career

Marriage and Children: Ida marries (TBD) from school, someone who had always had a crush on her that she eventually returned the feelings for. They spend a beautiful three years together before her end. Ida manages to give her love a son, but only after she's gone

Death: Ida sacrifices herself to stop Sebastien and Dorian from destroying the world. Ida's biggest temptation as an Elemental was always to leave her humanity behind and become nature, so she does. She traps the two men inside of a ridiculously large tree that grows out of the mountainside near her cottage. This tree forms from her body, and has a notch where her favorite necklace can be inserted to be allowed entry to the chamber Sebastien and Dorian are trapped. However, she hid the necklace in Japan, where no one will find it until a century has passed and her friends have passed away. Ida can occasionally gather her spirit into a physical form to communicate with her love and child that she left behind

Notable Facts Not Previously Mentioned

- Ida is the ancestor of my main hphm mcs, Gracie and Tessa Chiva, on their father's side

- The reason Ida is sent to Hogwarts and not Durmstrang is the fear of bad influences. No one wanted to risk her being corrupted

- Ida does feel guilty about leaving her love behind, but since she couldn't kill Sebastien and she still loved him and wanted him to be happy, this was the only way she could think of to stop him

- Her love watched her leave humanity behind. As they wept, Ida's spirit gathered to say her goodbyes, and point them to their son, who had been born from Ida's final breath at exactly 11:18 pm

- Ida thinks very highly of herself. This is both from being praised so much as a child and hearing so much about the good she can do as an Elemental

- She throws a graduation party so extravagant that it's talked about for decades after her death

- No one but her love knows what truly happened to her. All anyone else knows is that she and Sebastien disappeared at the same time

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

I Like Boys

A Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Story

Master List

Pairing: Stucky   |  Word Count: 2256  |  Warnings: Language

Based on the Todrick Hall song I Like Boys

A/N: With all the crazy in the world right now, I thought we could all use a little something fun and fluffy. This is my first Pride fic, please be kind as I did my absolute best. Love who you love, people. There’s nothing greater in life.

This fic is for @magellan-88​ who inspires me even when she doesn’t intend to.

***

James Buchanan Barnes was ninety-seven years old when his Hydra programming finally broke. He spent two years running from his best friend, another two in cryo, and five after that apparently blipped into nothing. After the fight - were, somehow, they all came out alive - Bucky decided, fuck it! 

How many times had he almost died? How many chances had he had? How many more would he waste before finally living his best life?

So he retired—sort of. 

There was no such thing as "retiring" when your idiot best friend continued to throw himself out of planes and into the line of fire on a regular basis, but Steve did slow down. He took on a more managerial role, was promoted to "General" for his service, and spent his days sitting on his ass behind a desk. 

Bucky liked him there. He liked having Steve unbruised and unbusted at the end of the day, saunter through the door to their joint living space and holler, "Honey, I'm home!"

It was a joke on the blond's part that was wearing thin, for when Bucky decided to live his best life, he'd begun to do some research about what that meant. Be true to you was a big part of it. But to be true to himself, he had to be honest with himself, and honesty meant admitting he'd been in love with Steven "is this a test" Rogers for most of his natural life. 

Sadly, Steve liked girls. Case in point, one Peggy "gonna bust some balls" Carter. 

Bucky couldn't exactly compete with that. She was one classy dame, and it hurt him to know that Steve would likely never move on. This era and it's dating rituals had thrown Cap for a loop. Women were too forward, and Steve - surprisingly - too shy to dive into the world of casual dates and sex. 

For Bucky, it was different. He liked boys. There, he'd said it, but he still hadn't said it to Steve. Natasha, however, was a different story. She'd grown used to him sighing and pining on her shoulder. She said she hated it - she didn't - but she bitched enough for both of them. 

Then she took him shopping. 

While he was standing in some place called Sephora with miles of makeup and aisle of perfume that kind of made him want to sneeze, he had the shock of his life. All this "girly" crap everywhere, but in the middle of it was a guy? A cute guy. With well-groomed hair and this fabulous winged eyeliner - nothing like his Hydra days - wearing really cute skinny jeans and glitter on his cheeks. 

Enchanted, Bucky left Natasha's side and slowly made his way over. The guy, man, guy he wasn't sure, looked up and flashed him a smile. 

"Help you, honey?"

Bucky blinked. He had fantastic skin. "You're so shiny." A flush immediately reddened his face. 

But Sephora Guy, whose name ended up being Ben, laughed and lightly patted his arm. "Aw, thanks, sweets. You looking for some skin care tips?"

Bucky nodded, unsure what else to do. 

"Honey, you came to the right fella!" 

Ben grabbed his wrist and led him to a chair where he bid Bucky sit. For the next hour, he was educated on everything from moisturizer to foundation to why Ben wore makeup. They talked about hair care, skin care, and what it meant to be "out" with such enthusiasm. Bucky had never spoken so candidly with anyone about his sexuality and found it enlightening. 

He left the shop with five hundred dollars worth of product, a list for the hair salon, and a bunch of links to reputable websites if Bucky had more questions. 

The smug on Natasha said she set him up, but he didn't care. He'd had the best day.

And when everything wound up on the counter in his and Steve's shared bathroom, Steve only arched a brow, smiled, and said nothing. 

Bucky continued to learn, research, and occasionally visit the mall to have coffee with Ben or his partner Matt. They were always kind, never impatient, and easy-going. He'd begun to wonder if they hadn't realized who he was until one day he asked, and they both looked at him with amused smiles. 

"Metal arm, slightly brooding, runs around after a "little punk" but now with a much better skin routine? Honey. Please," Ben snorted.

After, Bucky began to explore and try new things. He cooked, found a love for baking, and especially loved baking for Steve. The man refused to slow down, so it never affected Steve's physique, but Bucky found he was a little bit softer around the middle, his face fuller, his body less hard, and he liked it. 

It was nice not to be combat-ready all the time. Sure he could strap on the black and spend nine hours running down Hydra, that hadn't changed, but he had the smallest pudge of a belly, a soft little roll that he loved. 

Then, out of the blue, Natasha introduced him to roller derby. 

Bucky was thrilled! He'd never seen anything so flashy, showy, violent in all his life that was meant to be fun! Oh, sure he'd watch the wrestling that showed up on TV, but he felt most of that was so phony. This? This was chaos. This was mayhem. 

This was freaking awesome!

And the women were great. They were loud and boisterous, or sweet and shy, but when they put on their gear, they all became demons. Natasha occasionally trained with the group known as Red's Devils, a group of women from difficult circumstances she sponsored during the blip. It gave the ladies an outlet for grief, anger, pain that they wouldn't have had otherwise.

Once they met him, they'd put him in a pair of roller skates and dragged him around the track. Of course, with the serum and his enhanced body, getting his balance and figuring out how to move on wheels was cake, and soon he was skating around the room, learning neat tricks and tips from the women catcalling and laughing along with him

Bucky loved it. 

Finally, after seventy years as a Hydra pawn and all the crap that came afterward, he'd figured it out, found himself, and was happy. The only thing he wasn't satisfied with was Steve. 

It was getting harder and harder to pretend like he didn't tent his pants every time the big dumb blond wandered through the apartment in a towel. Or that "Honey, I'm home!" didn’t make his damn heart flutter. Some days it hurt to look at his stupid beautiful face and not want to kiss it. Or punch it. 

He swore Steve's shirts were getting tighter. Sometimes, it felt like his eyes lingered. 

The shit was messing with his head, dammit!

Then, just as the world was getting it's shit back together, the pandemic happened. Covid 19 struck, and everything stopped. The world stood still, went into lockdown, and Bucky wanted to slam his head on the wall.

He had been going to his first Pride event with Ben and Matt, ready to step outside and be who he was, while those who didn't approve could kiss his lily-white ass. He was going to tell Steve. He was going to stop hiding, conforming, resiting who he was. And it all went to shit thanks to a fucking virus.

He was pissed! It wasn't fair! He'd been so prepared. 

Natasha found him pouting on the couch in the common area of the now mostly empty compound. Anyone who could go home was sent home, leaving them running a skeleton crew of people, and forcing as much separation as possible. 

She flopped down mostly on top of him. "Why so glum, chum?"

"Pride's cancelled," he muttered. 

She snorted. "No, it's not."

He rolled his eyes. "We're under a shelter in place order, Natalia."

"I'm aware, Barnes," she huffed. "But Pride isn't cancelled. Just because you can't strut down the street waving a rainbow flag doesn't stop what this month is about. It's about you, celebrating you, and all the people who came before you who fought, screamed, raged against injustice and in some cases, died to be able to stand up proudly and say I'm gay, I'm bisexual, I'm transgender. You can't go out. That doesn't mean you can't celebrate."

She patted his chest and left him sitting there to think about what she said.

***

The music that pounded through the compound jerked Steve's head up. Reports forgotten, he rose and went to look out his office door, only to gape in shock as Bucky, wearing the shortest, tightest, black shorts he'd ever seen and a cropped top that showed off his cute little belly, rolled by on roller skates. He'd cut his hair not long ago, his interest in styling it a new hobby. Right now, it was fluffed high and held there with wax, looking soft and shiny and pretty as hell. Glitter sparkled on his cheeks, on his lashes, and glossed his lips. 

He smirked as he rolled by, blue eyes amused. "Close your mouth, Rogers."

Steve swallowed thickly and followed Bucky down the hallway. Those shorts should be illegal. The top wasn't much better. The cropped top was blue, sleeveless, showing off defined muscles and metal arm. His skin freaking glowed against the blue. 

It was seriously unfair how hot his best friend was, and Steve thanked his lucky stars he'd worn sweats and underwear today that helped disguise the tent forming in his pants. 

When Bucky stooped to pick up a big ass rainbow flag, Steve's jaw dropped. He knew what June first represented, how did Bucky?

Like a moth to a flame, Steve followed Bucky into the common room where Bucky was skating in happy circles, singing along to the music. 

"I like boys, I like pecs, like them arms when they flex. Like that print in them sweats. Tell them, girls, "Thank you, next." I like when they text me sexy pics of 'em, like them abs when there's six of 'em. Tell them girls I'm sorry; I like boys, Mama, boys like me."

Steve's jaw dropped. His mind refused to compute what he was hearing. It blue screened, whited out, and returned in time to watch Bucky drop it low and twerk like he'd done it all his life. 

"I like when they shake it, shake it. I like when they grind real slow. I like when they almost naked. Tell dad I'm so homo. Lights off, doors shut. Tall, dark, clean-cut. Thick with a bubble but. Yup, Mama, I like boys."

A sound like a fax machine escaped his throat as Bucky danced, shook his ass, swung his hips, and sent Steve's mind so far into the gutter he wondered if it would ever come out. 

"Bitch, B to the O to the Y to the S, Boys will be boys, and with boys, I'm obsessed. Boys in their gym clothes, boys in a dress, and if boys are a crime, then I'm under arrest. 'Cause I've been boy crazy since the boy scouts. Fuck the closets, let the boys out. Don't be a camel when you are a llama, period. No comma, bring on all the drama. Mama, I like boys, I like pecs, like them arms when they flex. Like that print in them sweats. Tell them girls, "Thank you, next." I like when they text me sexy pics of 'em. Like them abs when there's six of 'em. Tell them girls I'm sorry; I like boys, Mama, boys like me."

The music continued to play, but Bucky rolled away from the window, leaving the flag he'd been carrying behind on the couch when he skated up to Steve and stopped. On the skates, Bucky was inches taller and caused Steve to tilt his head back to look up at him as he had when they were kids. 

"So," Bucky murmured, a blush under the glitter and eyes suddenly shy and uncertain. "I like boys."

Steve's heart clenched. Before he could stop himself or second guess what he was doing, his hand shot out, grabbed the back of Bucky's neck, and dragged his friend down in a kiss that had been pent up for almost a century. 

Bucky squeaked, flailed once, almost rolled away, and finally wrapped his arms around Steve in a near bone-crushing hug. Lips slanted, mouths softened, parted, inhaled, changed the angle and softened. 

Tingles raced through Steve's body as he kissed Bucky, his Bucky, pouring every bit of emotion he felt into it. Then, he nipped his teeth into Bucky's lip and slowly pulled away. 

"I'm bisexual," Steve murmured. "I've known for years."

"You punk-ass piece of shit! Why didn't you say something?" Bucky barked, but Steve noticed he didn't let go. 

"There wasn't time." He gently squeezed Bucky's nape. "And how do you tell your best friend in the whole world you've been in love with him your entire life?"

"Steve…" Bucky whispered, resting their foreheads together. "You're an idiot."

Steve kissed him again because there was no refuting that logic.

***

From the second-floor observation deck, Natasha turned her phone camera from the scene below to her grinning face. The live stream event had hearts and comments blowing up her Instagram. "Happy Pride everyone. If those two old farts can figure it out, anyone can." 

She blew a kiss at the camera and ended the stream.

-The End- 

[cryptidsurveys]

Wednesday, November 20th, 2024.

A lot of my friends are unfollowing or unfriending those who agree with a different political party than them. Have you ever unfollowed or unfriended anyone over politics? Why or why not? I have unfollowed people due to political differences in the past, but regarding recent times, no. When it comes to my internet presence as a whole, I follow people from both sides of the aisle.

Do you trust in God? Why or why not? As far as I can trust something I don't entirely understand.

What's the dumbest way you've been injured? Probably that time I messed up the toes on my right foot. It's not something I want to get into, though. I've also bumped my head on kennel doors a few times.

Do you believe fibromyalgia is a real disease? Why or why not? It's not something I've ever looked into in any serious way, but I have no reason to think people suffering from those symptoms are making it up.

Has anyone in your family been diabetic? Not in my immediate family.

When was the last time you can remember falling down the stairs, and what happened? Were you alone or was it in public? Share details! I've probably missed a step and fallen on my butt a few times, but I normally fall up the stairs instead of down.

Do you wear earmuffs during the colder months? I just wear a hat.

Do you know anyone who has the medical condition POTS? I don't.

Do you know what the medical condition POTS is? I do now because I just looked it up.

Do you experience frequent tachycardia? I don't anymore, but I did when I was still in the throes of my eating disorder.

Have you been ignoring someone who has been trying to reach out to you? If so, why? No one has been trying to reach out to me.

Do you agree or disagree with this quote: The only constant variable in my life is pain and suffering. Naw. I don't think pain and suffering can be entirely avoided, but they aren't the only constant variables in my life. There are plenty of good or neutral recurrences as well.

If you celebrate Thanksgiving, have you ever been the one to cook the turkey? I've never been the only one to cook a turkey, but my dad and I made one a few years ago and…I guess I "helped" to some extent? I'm probably making roast chicken this year, though. A whole turkey is just too much for the two of us.

Do you pray every day? Why or why not? In some capacity. Not a specific prayer, but…y'know.

Do you know anyone who has lupus? I don't.

List three emotions you've experienced in the past 24 hours. I'm not sure what to call it, but a sort of "you get me!" emotion while talking with Riley about social situations. A feeling of being time-crunched. And contentment/comfort.

When was the last time you went to Starbucks? I don't remember the last time I went to Starbucks, but I had a cranberry lemonade drink (?) the other day. Natasha bought it and didn't like it, so she offered it to me instead.

When was the last time you baked scones? I've never baked scones before, but speaking of baking, that chaotic carrot cake I baked the other day turned out pretty well. :') I'm also going to be making a cream cheese brownie pie tomorrow to bring to the animal shelter on Friday.

Do you decorate your home for fall? We decorated a little bit for Halloween, mainly on the outside of the house. I don't tend to do much interior autumn decorating.

Do you prefer ebooks or actual books? Ebooks. It's easier to hold or prop up a huge chonker of a book in a digital format - especially since I like to read while eating.

What does the last mug you drank out of look like? It's a white mug depicting a calico kitty playing with a Christmas ornament. It says "Meowy Christmas."

What is one thing you love about getting older? Experience? Wisdom? Losing some of the fat in my face? (Well, my eating disorder loves that aspect. I probably won't feel the same about it once I'm further along in recovery. But it's this feeling of "I don't really care if I gain a bit of weight as long as my face still looks thin/defined.")

Do you post on Instagram frequently? On average, every few days or so.

How many Instagram accounts do you have? Just one.

What is your Instagram username (if you wish to share)? x0.hallie.0x