#she got massive puppy eyes from clarke for remembering her

[pyrrhicmessiah]

@starlcved said : " i hoped you'd return. " from silver // t.t.pd starters

surprise flits over the hunter's features as she looks up at the angel, finger absently marking the spot she'd abandoned in her passage. " you remember me? " none who she'd inquired with could tell her much about the angel's history or just how ancient she actually was, but all seemed to hold her in high regard. she could only assume she'd lived through ages upon ages, given the way she sometimes appeared to be rather lost in thought. in truth, the hunter had a difficult time determining in their previous interactions whether or not the angel was fully present and attending to their conversation. it hadn't exactly been her place to ask, however. clearing her throat, she fidgets in her seat, adding: " it's a privilege to have been granted access to the tomes. thank you. "

[lotusss-flowerbomb]

My Hero

Clark Kent x reader

Warnings: Smut 

Disclaimer: There is unprotected sex in this story, so remember a condom a day keeps them babies away!

*divider by @writeyourmindaway​*

Word Count: 2,302

********

You were pushing your cart through the grocery store and scanning the many items you knew that you didn't need.

"This is why we never shop on an empty stomach," you said to yourself.

When you reached the end of the aisle your cart hit a man's legs.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Are you okay?"

"It's okay, I'm fine," a small laugh escaped his lips. "Y/N?"

You finally looked up at him, "Yes?"

"Wow, I thought that was your voice that I'd heard."

"My voice?" You asked, confused. 

Blue eyes, wide grin, deep dimple in his chin. 

"Clark?" Your eyes were wide with realization.

"It's me," he said.

"No way, look at you," you scanned him from head to toe. "You've come a long way from the scrawny kid who I used to walk home with from school."

You threw your arms around his neck for a hug and quickly pulled away. You would swear that you could feel every muscle in his rock hard body.

"So, uh, when did you get back in town?" He asked.

"Few days ago. My dad retired and moved to California. He's left getting rid of the house, to me of course."

"I'm surprised he left. He loved that house."

"Yeah, well, he says he needed a change since my mom passed away, but I think this Superman guy just freaks him out a little bit," you shrugged.

"Understandable," he replied.

"Well, um, how about you come over for dinner tonight, so we can really catch up?" You suggested.

"Oh, no, I couldn't impose."

"Why not? You got big plans for those TV dinners?"

He looked down at the four Hungry Man meals he was holding.

"That's what I thought. I'll see you at 8pm, Kent." You pushed your cart forward to the checkout line.

He watched as you walked away. Willing himself not to use his x-ray vision to look through your clothes.

Clark showered quickly when he got home. He looked through his closet and cursed himself. How many flannel shirts does one man need? He settled on a blue and gray shirt and pulled it on.

"Where are you going?" Martha questioned him.

"Uh, you'll never guess who I ran into today. You remember Y/N?" He asked his mother.

"Of course, I do. How could I ever forget the sweet girl who walked my baby home everyday to save him from bullies?" She patted his cheek and laughed.

"Funny," he mocked her. "She invited me over for dinner tonight, so I needed to change."

"Oh, well, that's good. You haven't been out since, um... ever."

"Ma, it's really just old friends catching up. It's not a date."

At least, that's what he'd said out loud, but his racing heart was telling a different story. Martha raised an eyebrow and turned to leave. She didn't need enhanced senses to know her son was telling a lie.

Clark thought back to the day the two of you had become friends. He was a grade ahead of you, so you never really spoke until...

You trailed behind the crowd a bit, as always, with your black Cane Corso, Tiny in tow. He was massive, so his name definitely didn't match, but when he was just a puppy, he was so tiny that you carried him zipped up in your hoodie wherever you went.

Every day, Tiny would come to the school and sit with the parents waiting to pick up their kids. Even though he was huge, he was a sweetie and everyone loved him, so no one ever complained about him running around alone.

When the group ahead of you reached the junkyard. You heard Jessie, the school bully, telling Clark to get out of the truck. Once you reached the yard, you saw Jessie throw Clark to the ground and raise his fist as if he was gonna hit him.

"Come on, fight back! Get up, Kent!" He yelled at him.

"Why don't you leave him alone, Jessie? He doesn't want to fight." You said from behind them.

They all turned to look at you.

"Hey, stay out of it and mind your business!" He pointed at you.

"Make me," you said.

Tiny growled and crouched low to the ground when Jessie took a step towards you. You stayed in your spot as he slowly walked towards the other kids and came to a stop right in front of Clark.

The group backed away slowly with their hands lifted in surrender.

"I don't want to see any of you bothering him again, got it?" You asked.

"Y-y-y-yeah. Yeah, I got it. Just call him off."

"It's okay, Tiny, let them go," you walked closer to your dog.

He was almost as tall as you were sitting on his haunches.

You made a hand motion for them to go and they all practically ran away. You turned to help Clark off the ground and brushed some dirt off of him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, thanks," he said softly.

Mr. Kent made his way over to the two of you. Tiny wagged happily and waited for a few pets from the older man. He ran off plenty of times to the Kent's farm to play with their dog Hank. Plus, he and your father had known one another since childhood.

"I'm not sure how you resisted the urge to break his face, but good for you," you said before waving at Mr. Kent and telling Tiny to come along.

From that day forward, you and Clark had been inseparable. He'd walk you home and then head to the farm.

You'd developed a crush on him as the years went by, but never spoke up about it, because you learned very early that nothing was worse than losing your best friend over a failed relationship.

Besides, once he graduated, he took oddest jobs doing manual labor. It caused him to be gone for months at a time and you knew that wasn't a life you wanted, so after you graduated, you went out of state to college in Metropolis and got a job there.

Clark clutched the bottle of wine in his hand as he knocked on the door. He couldn't understand why he was so nervous. He'd been to this house dozens of times.

"Hey," you greeted him when you opened the door.

"I brought wine," he held up the bottle.

"Thanks, the food is almost ready, so have a seat and I'll be right back." You hurried off.

Once the two of you sat down for dinner you laughed and talked as if you had never parted ways. He was still the same old goofy Clark Kent that you remembered.

You were now on the couch with your legs comfortably tucked behind you and staring into his eyes.

"What?" He asked nervously.

"Nothing, it's just been so long since I've seen that smile. I'm enjoying it."

His face turned red as he blushed at your compliment.

"I do have a question. Something that's been bugging me all day," you scooted closer.

"What's wrong?"

"You never wore glasses when we were growing up. In fact, you could see so far down the road that I thought you placed things just to be funny."

"What? No, I... um, I had an accident on a job site. There was fire and I was a little close. Messed with my eyesight a little...bit." He stammered over his words.

"You always were such a terrible liar, but I'll let it slide, because you're cute." You sipped from your glass.

"You think I'm cute?" He asked, shocked.

"Yes, I always have," you admitted.

"Really? Why haven't you ever told me that?"

"Oh, please, Clark, like you didn't know that I had the biggest crush on you when we were kids," you rolled your eyes.

"No... Well, I — uh... didn't know for sure."

"Mmm hmm," you straddled his lap. "I know you can hear the way my heart beats faster any time I'm near you." You grabbed his hand and pressed it to your chest.

He shifted beneath you. No doubt trying to will himself not to get an erection.

You swivel your hips ever so slightly. To a normal man, that would have been nothing. But to Clark, it was damn near a sensory overload.

He threw his head back and clamped his eyes shut.

"I know that you know how wet I am for you right now," you lifted your dress and dipped your fingers inside of your panties, swirling your wetness around with your fingers.

He was no longer able to contain his erection.

"Look at me," you said.

He opened his eyes and looked at you. You brushed one of your slick coated fingers over his lips before kissing him softly.

"What are you doing?" He was finally able to ask.

"Whatever I want," you said and slid his glasses off of his face.

He looked nervous. You may recognize him without his glasses, so he quickly kissed you.

You trailed soft kisses from his neck to his ear. Biting the lobe once you reached it.

The soft sigh that he released turned you on even more as you grinded into him again.

He shifted his position, so he could lie you flat on your back.

"Can I taste you?" He asks.

He didn't wait for you to reply. He pulled your already soaked panties to the side and licked at your center.

"Ssss, ooh," you hissed.

You threaded your fingers into his hair and grabbed on to those jet black curls. Rocking your hips slowly as he alternated between licking your clit and sucking it into his mouth.

First you felt one finger slide inside of you and shortly after another followed.

"Yes, baby, don't stop," you moaned.

Clark watched your face as he pleasured you. The way you bit your bottom lip and gripped his hair forced him to buck against the couch cushions for a bit of relief.

You squeezed your eyes shut as your orgasm neared, but felt your body being lifted and turned. Before you could grasp what was happening, Clark was now on his back and you were riding his face.

You grabbed on to the arm of the couch and placed one foot on the floor and the other by his head.

"Stick your tongue out," you instructed.

When he stuck his tongue out, you lined it up with your needy cavern and let him fuck you with it. You used your other hand to rub your clit and once again your orgasm was nearing.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" You chanted as the familiar feeling washed over your body.

Once again, he readjusted you as if you weighed nothing, bringing you face to face with him. You kissed him again. Moaning into his mouth as your tongues connected.

"Fuck me, Clark, please?" You asked as you unbuttoned his pants and wrapped your hand around his thick throbbing shaft.

He groaned loudly as you stroked him. When you were about to lower yourself onto him he stopped you.

"Wait, I," he cleared his throat, "I've never actually, um, gone all the way..." He admitted.

"I find that very hard to believe with the way you just ate my pussy."

"I learned from... ya know..."

"Good," you slowly lowered yourself onto him. Making sure to keep eye contact as he stretched you wide. "I'm sure you learned how this goes too."

He held on to your hips as you bounced up and down on him. Then he grabbed up the fabric of your dress and ripped it. Kissing the newly exposed globes of your breasts.

He turned you on your back. Lifting your leg high and pushing himself deep into your pussy. Giving you everything that he had.

He tucked his face into your neck as he fucked you.

"Yeah, that's it. Give me that dick, baby," you whispered.

"You feel so good," he groaned.

The closer he got to ecstasy, the more vocal he became.

"Shit!"

"It's okay baby. Give me all that cum. Can I have it?" You asked sweetly.

"Yes!"

"Mmm, yesssss," you clawed at his back as you started cumming. Your pussy tightening around him.

His body started to spasm as he released his load inside of you.

You held on tight until he stopped moving and you loosened your grip. It was only then that you noticed that you were floating in mid air.

"Clark!" You yelped and grabbed onto him again.

He chuckled. "Don't worry, I've got you," he slowly lowered your bodies back down to the sofa.

He pulled out slowly and laid his head in between your breasts taking in the moment. You twirled one of his curls around your finger.

You felt his body suddenly start shaking from laughter.

"What's so funny, Kent?" You asked.

"You just had sex with the kid that you used to protect from bullies. You were my hero,” he said.

"No, I just had sex with the grown man that saves planets."

"So, how long have you known?" He questioned.

"Since the moment I first saw you on TV," you replied.

"Hmm."

"Yeah, and if I hadn't already known, you recognizing my voice from the other aisle when I clearly whispered to myself would've been a dead giveaway."

"Not to mention the whole flying thing just now," he added.

"Exactly," you giggled.

You finally got up before ruining the couch and grabbed his hand to lead him to the bathroom. He looked a little confused at first.

"Surely, you have at least one more round in you, Superman?" You teased.

"I've got as many rounds as you can take," he lifted you and walked up the stairs to the bathroom.

[skywalkerbc]

Mads’ massive bellarke rec (pt.1)

So I’ve been asked a couple times to make a bellarke fanfiction rec list so here it is! (Okay so I realised that I had way too many bc our fandom is filled with so many talented authors so even though this is actually massive, there will be several parts)

(Also- I don’t know everyone’s tumblrs so if you know any of these author’s tumblr accounts, please lmk so I can link them properly!)

In no particular order, here are some of my all time fav blarke fics:

~

MODERN-VERSE AUS

I dreamed you a sin (and a lie) by monroeslittle

“If I do this,” Blake said, “how are you imagining it’s going to work? I can’t just knock on his door, and say I want in again. It’s been eleven years. And even before I left, I never cared about the business. Do you have a plan? You say you want me to open the door for an agent. How? What’s that mean?”

“You’re going to get in touch with your grandfather again at your wedding,” Clarke said.

He stared.

“I hope you don’t have a girlfriend, Mr. Blake.”

fake!married AU. Clarke's in the FBI, Bellamy's the grandson of a mobster, and they've got to work together.

~

Lines in the Sand by @fen-ha-fuck-you

“You looked like you were gonna hurl when you got up,” Raven said, pausing for a moment. “I’m not sure this is better.”

Clarke shook her head minutely, finally looking up at herself in the mirror. She quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen. She hadn’t even noticed. “I’m fine.”

“No,” Raven replied, her eyebrows scrunching together. “You’re not.”

“I just… had a little too much to drink. That’s all.”

“That why you’re strangling that poor sink?”

~

i’m not asking much of you by emmylou

When Clarke gets invited to her ex's wedding- her CHEATING ex's wedding- she knows she can't go alone. She's not dating anyone, so she has to find a boyfriend, real or fake, fast. Luckily, Octavia knows just the guy.

~

I’d Promise You Everything (But I’m Not Sure How Much Good There Is In That) by @talistheintrovert

Bellamy has never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day, but Clarke outright hates it. Her father died at the start of February when she was in high school, she found out her first boyfriend was cheating on her two weeks later, and then almost exactly a year after that, her girlfriend dumped her to travel around Asia.

But now they're in their 20s and Bellamy finally admitted that he loved her a few months ago. He knows this is the real thing and he absolutely knows that she feels the same way, but he also knows how miserable Clarke gets around Valentine's, and he's determined to cheer her up this time.

~

hold me in your beating heart by amberwoods

He’d got out of bed and walked to the nursery to console his youngest child. When he’d been shushing and cradling her for about twenty minutes, he noticed a silhouette hovering in the door opening. Clarke.

“I’ve got her,” he’d said softly, his voice rough with sleep, “Go back to bed.”

She just stood there. When he took a closer look, he noticed she had a strange expression on her face. She was looking at Madi.

“Clarke?” he asked carefully.

~

And There’s a Hand My Trusty Friend by Who_Needs_Reality

He sighs dramatically. “Can’t believe you’re not gonna let me kiss you until next year.” That sends a sudden, sharp jolt of sadness through Clarke, the realisation that they’re going to be spending another day spent pretending that she’s not his; it means ushering in their first year together… by, well, not being together.

Or, {NYE fluff where Bellamy and Clarke are together, but since they're keeping it a secret from their friends, they run into an unforeseen complication.}

~

A Little Bit of Something (God, It’s Better Than Nothing) by @grumpybell

“-Clarke.” He sounds alarmed, suddenly, none of the casual, arrogant, amusement that had been in his voice moments before. “What?” “Why is your mom calling me?” “Shit. Don't answer that. Listen, okay. She and I kind of got into an argument today-” “-what else is new?” “Shut up. Anyway, she told me she's getting married and there was just so much subtext about my failure at relationships and my lack of love life, and I might have told her I'm engaged too.” There's silence on the other end of the phone. “To you,” Clarke prompts.

~

I Don’t Need Your Love (I Just Need You Now) by @talistheintrovert

“What was the worst part?” Raven asked.

“Probably when he shoved me against a wall and stuck his tongue down my throat,” Clarke admitted, sipping her hot chocolate, which she quickly realised was spiked with rum. God, her friends were perfect.

Octavia and Raven both gasped, but it was Bellamy’s reaction that she found the most interesting. He didn’t say anything, didn’t look up from his book, or even alter his expression, but his hand balled into a fist on the arm of his chair.

OR: The AU where Clarke and Bellamy hate each other until Bellamy realises she's being mistreated, and does his best to protect her.

~

Come Close (And Then Even Closer) by sheryl_sems

Clarke thinks about Octavia and how her best friend had stormed out of the house earlier that day, furious at Clarke for taking her brother's side in their argument. She thinks about Raven, and Monty, and Jasper, and Wells, and Lincoln but in the end, she really only wants one person by her side and it's fruitless to fight herself on this one.

"Could you call Bellamy?" She finally says in a soft, hoarse whisper.

Or the one where Clarke is attacked and the only person she wants by her side in the aftermath is Bellamy Blake.

~

You Look Like a Movie. You Sound Like a Song. by lordmxrphy

She knows shouldn’t care. She and Bellamy were never together. They never dated. But for as long as Clarke can remember, Bellamy’s held her heart. Even if he’ll never know it.

(a modern au inspired by when we were young by adele)

~

What We Do to Each Other by marauders_groupie

A Bellarke AU in which Bellamy and Clarke are childhood best friends, separated by life and trying to relearn each other again.

~

A Symbol of Goodwill And Love by LayALioness

“So when you said we need a good tree, you meant,” he hedges, and she huffs, little clouds of steam escaping her mouth.

“One that needs a good home,” she says, like it’s obvious. “Shopping for a Christmas tree is like going to the pound—you don’t look for a purebred at the pound, Bellamy. You look for the puppy with a missing eye, or mange. One that needs us.”

“If this is code for wanting us to get a puppy,” Bellamy muses, reaching out to tug on the tassels of her hat. “I think we should probably live together, first.”

~

We Have to Stop Meeting Like This by @goldenheadfreckledheart

Tumblr prompt: “We both have friends who party too hard and we keep running into each other in the bathroom while we hold their hair back.”

Aka, the three times Bellamy and Clarke meet each other while taking care of their friends + the one time they don’t.

~

Christmas Sweaters by lightyears

Clarke's upset that she won't fit into her Christmas sweater this year. Bellamy surprises her with a new one.

~

Ladylike by Who_Needs_Reality

Bellamy stares at her. "You want me to make out with you. Platonically."

Clarke very resolutely does not panic. "Do it for the views, Bellamy."

(Or, an AU in which Clarke works for a Buzzfeed-esque company, and has to kiss someone in order to test lipstick durability for a new video. Feelings and decidedly non-platonic nonsense ensue.)

~

Love Is Not a Victory March by @asroarke

“You could have been here four years ago,” she reminded, raising her eyebrows at him.

“No, I couldn’t have. I needed to be here with you,” he replied, and Clarke felt like the breath had been knocked out of her. It wasn’t the first time he said something like that, of course. But it caught her off guard every damn time.

“Was it worth the wait?”

“Yes, you were,” he replied, and how could Clarke not kiss him after that?

Olympics AU where a knee injury kept Bellamy and Clarke from making it to the Olympics... the first time around.

~

the tie that binds me to you by glowinghorizons

“we’ve been pen pals for like hella months and we finally decided to meet up and damn you’re cute, also did you break up with your jerk bf/gf yet?” au

or:

bellamy and clarke finally meet after months and months of hand-written letters, phone calls and text messages.

~

you bring me honeysuckle by caramelle

It suddenly strikes Bellamy, one day, that his girlfriend is in possession of what has to be the best hair in the entire cosmos.

Or, the one where Bellamy's fixation with Clarke's hair is totally normal and healthy.

~

Walk With Me by arysa13

Bellamy is pretty sure you aren't supposed to hit on the people you're supposed to be getting home safely, but he kind of wants to anyway.

Prompt: Bellamy works at safe walk and Clarke keeps falling asleep studying. And is the last one to leave the library every night!

~

Sugar, Spice, and All Things Nice by Who_Needs_Reality

Clarke just really wants a peppermint mocha. Breaking into the apartment of her ex, with whom she may-or-may-not still kind of be madly in love, is an unplanned side effect. Mostly.

Based on the prompt "listen i know i can’t just show up at your apartment at six in the morning but i need coffee and no one makes it like you do”

~

time flies but you’re the pilot by @onemanbellarmy

“Wait a minute, your new art teacher is Clarke Griffin?”

Gus paused to consider. “I think so?”

A huff of a surprised laugh escaped Bellamy. He hadn’t talked to Clarke since college.

(or, single parent x child's teacher AU)

~

the girl next door by funfanfin

The first time he hears her, he’s making his grandmother’s afritada recipe, a dish that reminds him of long, lazy, hot summers in the Philippines.

The first time he learns her name is on a Tuesday so ordinary and average he wouldn’t have remembered it otherwise.

The first time he realizes he loves her is during the early hours of a cool morning, with her curled into his side.

-OR-Bellamy hears singing from the apartment next door. It isn't long before he meets the girl behind the smoky, haunted voice, and it isn't long before he learns the reasons for her sorrow-filled singing.

~

only fools rush in by @chants-de-lune

based on the tumblr prompt:

"just drove a guy home from a bar and for the whole 15 minutes he talked about how excited he was to see his wife"

~

the fuzziest of woodland creatures by tempestaurora

“it’s 2 in the morning and i was just trying to get home but i left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and i drove into a pole – would you please stop laughing you’re a cop. you’re supposed to be helping”

~

Settling Debts by indygoh

"Um. Thank you. You didn't have to," she peeked up at him, suddenly shy for some reason. "I can pay you back."

Bellamy just chuckled, already shaking his head before she could finish her sentence.

"I've got a little sister. She probably would have kicked my ass if she found out I didn't do something to help you out back there."

Clarke raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Do you always rescue strange girls in desperate need of tampons?"

"Only the really cute ones with crowns on their butts."

~

when love hits (better make it worth the fall) by kay_emm_gee

Summary: Four times Clarke gets hit on the head (+1 time she doesn't) during her last semester of high school, and every single time, Bellamy Blake is somehow involved.

~

Turn the tide on my losing side by Lalalli

Clarke doesn’t know why Thelonius Jaha keeps posting really random shit to her Facebook wall, but whatever. It’s fine. It was weird at first, but she’s used to it now.

And then Bellamy gets involved and it gets weird again.

~

My Soft Place to Land by Who_Needs_Reality

Bellamy's happy to be back. He's even happier to see who's waiting for him.

{Or, soldier!Bellamy comes back home after being deployed and meets someone special}

~

We Keep it a Secret (You Leave Me Dying to Know) by @ringsabellamy

Bellamy doesn’t claim to be the greatest at dating, especially considering he’s been quietly in love with his best friend for the past six years, but hey, at least he’s been /trying/ to get over her. Not, of course, that this current situation is helping.

Or: Bellamy just asked Clarke to fake being his girlfriend for one date, honest. But then things got a little...out of hand.

~

If You Like Your Coffee Hot by marauders_groupie

They haven't been friends for a very long time but Bellamy still can't ignore Clarke acting out and getting into fights when she was a model student just a few months ago. They might’ve kept each other at distance for years but she is still his first best friend.

~

Calm my tears, Kill these fears by @goldenheadfreckledheart

Prompt: I somehow always get you as a cashier at Walmart and it's always when I’m buying the weirdest shit at the weirdest time. “A head of lettuce at 3am?” "It's a long story”

~

bit of a disaster, aren’t we? by katsumi

Clarke breaks her ankle and really would prefer that Bellamy not find out about it. She has a feeling he's going to get mad. (She's right.)

~~~

CANON-VERSE AUS

Meet Me in the Morning by monroeslittle

“I guess one of us is messed up,” he said, “and it’s part of our hallucination that the other is, too.” He paused. “Seems appropriately hellish that my mind sticks me with you.”

She pursed her lips. “Likewise.”

AU. Clarke is trapped in a stupid time loop, and guess who's trapped with her?

~

I Miss Our Little Talks by @chants-de-lune

“Wow,” she breathed out. “I thought that one would have done me in.”

Bellamy didn’t smile, shaking his head and taking the slightest edge of coldness off his glare.

“You took a bullet for me.” he said through gritted teeth. “Don’t ever do that again.”

~

Today is Dying by theprincessandtheking

“Look, sorry, but it’s an emergency,” Harper said, eyes firmly fixed on the wall ahead of her.

The tea he’d downed at the bar was still in his system, as evidenced by the way the room spun when he reached for his shirt a few feet away and struggled to pull it over his head.

“So much of an emergency that you couldn’t knock?”

“It’s Clarke.”

~

That I Will Never Escape by @talistheintrovert

“Execute me; I poisoned you. Let Clarke live."

“Very well,” Octavia raised a hand and a soldier with a gun pointed it down at him. He steeled himself for the bullet that would end his life, but before it left the chamber, Clarke yelled out.

“No!”

He jumped, surprised, when she moved suddenly, and he registered in his periphery as she snatched the sword from the floor and spun it in her hand deftly.

“Clarke, what are you doing?” Bellamy frowned, his gaze switching to her, but a part of him already knew. His body was reacting to it before his brain could catch up – he felt his breath catch in his throat, and his heart-rate speed up.

~

we were nothing more than stardust by cresswell

"I'm going to kill that bastard," he says quietly, bent close to Clarke's ear. "He's not going to touch you again, and I'm going to kill him."

Her pinkie finger extends, brushing the waistband of his jeans, and he carefully pushes their palms together, lacing their fingers. He thinks she smiles in her sleep.

~

Love is Not a Whisper (or a weakness) by monroeslittle

"There was a strange, muffled snap, and the tentacle around her middle was retracted. The hold on her ankle was gone, and Bellamy was pulling her up through the water. She began to pump her arms, and they broke the surface; she gasped, and coughed.

He pressed a gun into her hand. “If you see a ripple, shoot,” he ordered."

AU. The dropship doesn't land on land. The next seven years are a little bit different.

~

Astraphobia by @chants-de-lune

The fear of thunder and lightning. In other words, rainy day cuddling with a bit of angst.

~

Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat by islabbe

There was blood everywhere; some of it red, but most of it was black. Bellamy wrinkled his nose at the metallic smell as it filled his nose. Pushing down the reflex to gag, he quickly made his way over to the tent.

“Clarke, stay with me,” he said gruffly, his voice straining as bent down to enter hers and Madi’s tent. She was drifting in and out of consciousness and Bellamy knew the longer he dawdled, the less time she had.

~

We Can’t Leave Us Behind by @ringsabellamy

"I don’t blame you for that, not anymore. I understand why you had to leave. But it still hurt, Clarke. And I guess...I think your goodbye reminds me of how I felt. Of what it was like to lose you.”

“The kiss,” she says, eyes full of sudden realization. “You think when I kiss you, it means I’m going to leave you.”

Or: Bellamy has a lot of healing to do, one try at a time.

~

Set The Dark On Fire by @talistheintrovert​

Clarke isn't coping well with peacetime on the Eligius ship, and while Bellamy has woken some of the others (mainly spacekru) and tries to organise a trip to the ground, making decisions and considering all the variables, Clarke makes a choice of her own:

She'll take herself out of the equation.

OR: the post season 5 idea I had to write because all of the unresolved emotional turmoil this season is actually killing me and someone needs to notice that Clarke is in pain, for the love of god.

~ 

for everything unsaid (there is a flourish of my pride) by theprincessandtheking

“I don’t know,” he says. “I guess I just didn’t really care either way anymore.”

She pauses, and from the corner of his eye he can see the odd expression on her face.

“So in the middle of wartime, when everything is going to hell around us, shaving is still a priority. But you spend six years with all the free time in the world for it, and suddenly you don’t care?”

He tries to smile at the joke, but he thinks it comes out as more of a grimace.

“I guess down here it was more of a sense of normalcy,” he explains. “But with you gone—”

He pauses, clears his throat in an attempt to keep his voice steady.

“Without you there, nothing really felt normal.”

~

I can never be alone when all gods keep calling me out by angel_deux

Raven fixes the radio after a few years, and Clarke can talk to them again.

~

they will see my strength (in this love i’ve found) by glowinghorizons 

“If you’re married they won’t let you go alone.”

The silence is deafening. Bellamy braces himself for the slap he knows is going to come his way any second, but it never happens.

“You--” she sounds breathless. “You don’t even know me.”

Bellamy shrugs. “Look. I-- this is crazy. I know. I just know that I can’t let my sister go to the ground without me.”

OR, Clarke finds out she's being sent to the Ground only days after her Dad dies. Bellamy is determined to go to the Ground with his sister. They need to fool everyone to make it work.

~

Like a Second Heart by Who_Needs_Reality

She’s hardly surprised, the first few times it happens. The hallucinations are vivid, but not long, not much, just short, staccato bursts of him, tiny pieces to keep her going -- his hand extended out to her to help her up from the rubble, his voice a soothing murmur in her ear telling her she’ll be alright until she finds water… of course she sees him, of course she hears him. It’s Bellamy -- who else would her mind conjure up to help her survive? There are worse symptoms praimfaya has left her with than a few too-real imaginings of her best friend after all.

{Clarke's not worried when she starts to hallucinate Bellamy. It's only when the dreams continue to haunt her even after the real Bellamy comes back that she's concerned}

~

We Sure Know How to Run by winterwaters

While attempting to get Jaha farther from the AI and the nuclear warhead, Clarke, Murphy and Emori run into trouble from another tribe and Clarke is injured. Bellamy and his group happen to be following that tribe and help take care of her. On the way home, she confronts her feelings for Bellamy - with a bit of help from Emori.

~

darling, just hold my hand by killianslonghaul

“I know you don’t like public displays of affection, but… you’re really not going to kiss me goodbye?”

or

Bellamy doesn't really do PDA, but he might make an exception.

~

baby on board by katebishop 

As a soon-to-be father, Bellamy thinks he's feeling the appropriate amount of worry and concern for his pregnant wife.

Clarke thinks he's utterly ridiculous.

~~~

Other AUS

Forbidden Words by onceuponahundred 

we’re in between classes, and we both hear a fourth year calling a first year a mudblood, and neither of us are having any of that prejudiced bullshit. unfortunately, my impulse was to hex them, and yours was to punch them in the face, and my jelly-legs curse hit you instead, i’m really sorry, and we both are probably getting detention now, but hey, plus side, you’re kind of cute

{Bellarke in Harry Potter}

~

Name One Hero Who Was Happy by Who_Needs_Reality

Clarke huffs again, and he glances at her.

“The Curse of Achilles, Bellamy? Do you know how risky that was?”

“I got the idea when I felt my soul being torn from my body.”

She sniffs, imperious. “How did you do it?”

“Huh?” Her voice is smaller when she speaks again. “How did you...not get your soul...y’know?”

“Oh,” he swallows. “I had some help.”

{Bellarke in a Percy Jackson/The Last Olympian AU}

~

Don’t Think I Want What I Used to Want by arysa13 

Bellamy has a compass that points to what his heart most desires, which, as a pirate, must be treasure, obviously.

~

can’t control my feelings, can’t control my thoughts by katsumi

When Jasper accidentally gifts Clarke a love potion, everyone she interacts with starts acting...weird. Everyone, that is, except Bellamy. [Hogwarts AU]

~~~

[ruffiorocks]

LONG post in regards to whats being said about Lena.

Man, every time the CW post something about Supergirl on Instagram or Twitter people really lose their s**t for literally no reason.  

People saying that Lena is awful, they wouldn't watch a show with Lena in it, someone went as far to say they would rather die that watch a show with Lena in it??? OK.... Dramatic much? Yet here you are following the Supergirl page and knowing exactly what has been going on in the show because you use it for your arguments. Seriously sort your s**t out!

Also, I may get hate for this and I DO NOT CARE but im totally fine with Lena punching Kara in the face. Personally i think she’s asked for it. You can argue until the end of time that she doesn't deserve the punch for keeping her identity a secret, debatable BUT she absolutely deserves a punch in the face for being an arsehole to Lena and calling her a Luthor and then going to her best friends boyfriend and talking him into betraying her trust! Oh and then letting Lena vent to her about how this meant she would never trust Supergirl again, that was disturbing behavior, played off as an ‘oopsie’ moment. Personally Kara’s Jeckell and Hyde act with Lena has always been a bit disturbing to me, its not always funny. Just like in season 2 when she landed at L Corp with Superman and basically looked her nose down at Lena (re watch it). But a punch in the face is warranted. Punching someone in the face isnt akin to becoming evil!

Also why are people saying ‘I knew she would turn Evil!’ ‘Look what Lena is doing!’ erm... Lena hasnt actually done anything yet. A punch doesn't mean full on evil. Lena said she wants to inflict the same pain on Supergirl that she has caused her, now that’s interesting to me, because Kara hasn't actually inflicted any ‘physical’ pain on Lena and Lena even said she doesn't want to kill Supergirl. Now save for a much deserved punch in the face which looks like it takes place in a virtual world anyway, perhaps Lena is going to go down another route and inflict emotional pain on Kara just like Kara has inflicted it on her. Maybe this is why we saw BTS of Alex and Kara fighting, maybe this world is set up so Kara can experience everyone she loves betraying her in some way? The same way Lena feels she’s been betrayed? Im not saying that’s a healthy way to deal with things but the show would be boring if Lena was like ‘nah its cool’.Plus this is how Lena will see it, something she wouldn't be thinking if Kara had taken the time to explain things to her from the off set. to late now. 

Now i know what people will say ‘Kara has suffered so much and doesn't deserve more pain’ yeah... well Kara should have thought about that before inflicting pain on Lena who has also suffered enough pain in her life to. Kara having suffered doesn't mean she has a free pass to treat others poorly, who haven't actually done anything to hurt her or intended to hurt her at all. If Lena had been a nob and out to get her from day one then fair enough, but Lena has saved Kara’s ass/life many times and has never intended to hurt her, but s3 kara (who i wish i could forget) decided being an ass to Lena was OK. Yes Kara thought she was protecting Lena, but that excuse became null and void the moment she started revealing her identity to every Tom, Dick and Nia that she met! Kara is NOT a space puppy! Sure she has her cute adorkable moments but dont mix fan fic with reality. Kara is actually a very serious person who doesnt have all the answers, and doesn't always have a clear view of things. Remember it was Kara who basically told Jonn that there was no more alien hate anymore because SHE didnt receive it, the blonde haired, blue eyed hero of the city who looks human didnt receive hate so therefore it no longer existed. Now this isnt having a go at Kara, its to show that Kara isnt always right and doesn't always have a clear view of things.

Now, people are saying that Kara’s other friends didnt have a bad reaction to Kara admitting she was Supergirl so how dare Lena? OK, you guys are reaching pretty far now and you’re conveniently forgetting what has happened on the show because you’re too busy hating on Lena, so:

1. Winn didnt hate Kara the moment he learned she was Supergirl. OK, well first off, she wasnt really Supergirl yet, just an alien. Winn thought it was cool and wasnt upset she had lied to him? Well Kara keeping her identity from Winn didnt effect Winn in any way at all. There was no Luthor/Super history involved in Winn and Kara’s friendship.

2. James already knew, Clark took that decision away from Kara because he felt she needed a man to keep an eye on her. But this aside, James already knew Superman and was his best friend, he didnt ‘already’ know Kara. He knew who she was before she knew who he was! Again, him knowing her secret had no Luthor/Super implications.

3. Alex already knew and grew up with her. There was no ‘secret’ identity, she came to the Danvers as an alien and anyway Alex was NOT cool with her to begin with.

4. Mon El was also an alien, he wasnt a massive fan of Kara anymore than she was a fan of him. In fact Kara was the ass to Mon El rather than the other way around. It was Kara who referred to him as a ‘Daxamite’ more than once. Now, you could say they did have a history like the Luthor/Super one. Only it was Kryptonian/Daxamite, but the difference is Kara immediately told Mon El who she was, there was no pretending to be an alien from somewhere else or someone entirely different like she did with Lena. Kara knew Mon El was a Daxamite because of the beacon he sent, he didnt deny being one either. No his lie was being the Prince because he knew Kara would NOT have been OK with that. So he got involved with Kara whilst pretending to be something he wasn't. I seem to remember Kara being pretty miffed when she found out he was actually the Prince, only the end of the world was happening and she didnt really get a chance to deal with those feelings because she had to send him away. But later when he came back Kara had had time to process her thoughts on him, but she still told him EXACTLY what she thought of him. Mon El deceived Kara so he could pursue a relationship with her, Kara deceived Lena so she could pursue a friendship with her. Kara and Lena should have a choice in these scenarios because the respective ‘secret identities’ would have made them take pause. 

5. Jonn. already knew, nothing to argue here. 

6. Nia, Kara told Nia in a moment of solidarity because she to had ‘lost’ her sister, and apparently this was an OK reason to tell the girl you knew for 5 minutes who you are. Do you know who else had ‘lost’ a sibling and Kara has had many a solidarity moment with and who has saved her ass more than once and who she has known for longer than five minutes??? oh yeah LENA!! Anyway.... again, Nia had no reason to be miffed at Kara, she hasnt spent 3 years lying to her or pretending to be someone she wasnt and not fully trusting her. No Luthor/Super family drama or anything. 

7. The Legion already knew

8. Cat, Cat was Kara’s mentor and although Kara absolutely lied and deceived Cat, she NEVER treated her crap (save for the red K thing) like Kara did to Lena. Plus once again no Luthor/Super drama. Plus she wasnt Kara's best friend. 

Lena is completely different, have a think about what would be going through Lena’s head. ‘Supergirl’ suddenly turns up at her office the moment she arrives in National City in disguise? Supergirl using this secret identity keeps coming back to Lena, using Lena to track down Roulette, to try and get info from her about her mother. Lena mean while keeps saving the lives of the aliens of National City (including Supergirl). Mon El leaves and Kara suddenly cuts Lena from her life until she once again needs her for something? Come season 3 and ‘Supergirl’ suddenly turns on her? All for having a substance she wasn't using to hurt her but to protect her friend Sam? Supergirl calls her a ‘Luthor’ and gets pissed at her for GIVING her the Kryptonite? Supergirl starts telling Lena what to do as though she can? Supergirl then uses Lena’s boyfriend to spy on her? Then suddenly  Kara is back and being her best friend again listening to all her vent about Supergirl? Lena goes out of her way to make sure Argo City survives and Supergirl is still later an ass to her because she decided to work with the substance SHE created because Supergirl doesn't approve? Supergirl is an ass to her when they are with Alex and its Alex who puts her in place, but Kara is still coming back to her as her bestie? Kara Joins her in trying to track down Lex and even lets Lena think that she’s been blown up? Lena then has the pleasure of being told by Lex of all people that Kara has been lying since day one and he even has footage?? Lena’s new ‘family’ all knew except for her, doesn't say much for Kara’s trust in Lena. If she hadnt already dumped James’ ass i hope she would now! She would probably be thinking ‘why did James pursue me? Was he sent told to keep an eye on me? Was Kara just sent by Superman to watch me? Did the gang befriend me for the same reason? Keep the Luthor close? This woman has been betrayed and deceived her whole life, not second guessing any of this would be the bizarre thing. 

But anyway, i agree that both Kara and Lena are right to feel the way they do. But i am more on Lena’s side. I get Kara’s reasoning up to a point, to begin with she wanted to protect Lena., but then she should never have become so involved with her if she truly wanted to keep her safe. Her reasons become null and void when she tells people she’s known for 5 minutes who she is without thought to their safety (Nia). She made the decision to be an arsehole to Lena and then use Lena’s relationships against her and called her the only thing she knew would hurt Lena the most. She then kept saying she wanted to tell Lena but allowed others (Mon El, Alex) to keep her from doing so to the point where it was to late. Kara’s reasons started out noble, but they went beyond to far. Especially since Lex and Lillian knew and Kara STILL didnt see a point in telling Lena, Lex got the opportunity to tell Lena because Kara couldn't step up. The moment she knew Lillian knew she should have had Jonn erase her mind or tell Lena herself. Kara doesnt ‘owe’ her identity to anyone, but she should think twice about how much she gets involved with or treats the people close to her that dont know. 

Also, it is a betrayal, the writers have said so and even Melissa has agreed she totally understands it. Not telling Lena her secret isnt the betrayal, its everything that came along with it, everything Kara did along the way. (though she could be talking to Eve)

They say the season is a ‘fight for Lena’s soul’ , personally i think being betrayed by Kara is a poor reason for Lena’s soul to be in danger, it doesn't say much for her. But that very statement implies that Lena hasnt gone full Luthor, Otherwise it would be ‘Lena’s soul is lost’. 

It will be interesting to see how Lena reacts to the rest of the super friends since back in season 3 she understood secrets that weren't hers to tell and to keep people safe. She knew Alex was DEO but kept it to herself and wasnt arsed abut it and she didnt on Sam to keep her safe. But knowing the writers they’ll forget this part of Lena’s personality and make her miffed at everyone. 

Lastly Kara may be the main character but that doesnt mean everything she does is right and she DOESNT have to be your favorite character. 

Anyway thats enough. Dont send hate as always will go unanswered and deleted. 

[queercapwriting]

So, I joined my schools basketball team in the beginning of the year, I kinda suck, but that's ok cause I just started. Anyways, could you do something on Alex being captain of her high school/college basketball team and Maggie being so turned on by watching her play. I mean, I'm not saying the captain on my team is hot - and unfortunately straight - I don't know where you got that idea.

Sanvers Basketball College AU (ft. gay disaster Maggie Sawyer)

Basketball’s never been her thing.

She’ll scowl at anyone who dares to suggest it’s a height thing, and Winn still has the bruise on his arm from their horseplay a few weeks ago when he’d made the mistake of saying something along those lines.

But when Kara turns on her puppy eyes and tells Maggie that it’s her big sister’s first game of the season, Maggie can’t say no to the freshman girl who so warmly welcomed Maggie into a loving school community for the first time in her life.

So she tags along, exchanging a knowing grin with Lucy as Kara nervously takes Lena’s hand on one side and James’s on the other, as and Winn babbles along at top speed to Clark, his face getting redder the closer they get to the school’s gym, the closer they get to the crowd slowly forming for this season’s opening game.

She tags along, and she expects to have fun; but because of the company, not because of the game.

That is, until she lays eyes on the captain of the school team, who scans the stands with keen eyes until she find’s Maggie’s and waves and grins and winks.

Maggie blinks and forgets what breathing is. What…

Until she realizes that Kara has jumped out of her seat and is furiously waving back to the team captain.

The team captain with a black sweatband holding back her short, perfect, is-it-isn’t-it red hair, sweat already running in gorgeous rivulets down gorgeous, strong arms, long legs, and…

And Danvers written on the back of her jersey.

Of course she wasn’t winking and waving and grinning at Maggie like that. She was winking and waving and grinning at Kara.

“Kara, that’s… that’s your sister?” Maggie manages to choke out, and Lucy stops laughing with Lena and James to stare intently at her roommate.

“Yeah, team captain, isn’t it great?” Kara beams, too excited to notice Maggie’s shell-shocked eyes and slack jaw.

“Earth to Sawyer. Come in, Sawyer,” Winn leans over Lucy to murmur, and Maggie swats away his teasing hand gently without taking her eyes off of the team captain.

Alex, her name is. Alex.

For the first time, Kara’s amazing big sister – always busy in the lab or at practice – takes a shape in Maggie’s mind as something other than… well, Kara’s big sister.

Maggie gulps.

“We can get Kara to introduce you, you know,” Lucy follows Winn’s lead, but Maggie barely hears her.

Barely hears her, because Alex is calling warmup drills and nodding efficiently when her teammates do well, chiding encouragingly when they don’t. Pumping them up for the game, shooting the ball – perfect, every time, and Maggie has never thought much about the sound a basketball makes when it swishes through the basket, but now the soft, sweet, satisfying sound turns her on beyond comprehension – like the leader she is, at once like she knows all eyes in the gym are on her and like no one’s eyes are on her at all.

Maggie doesn’t remember much of the game, except that she doesn’t speak. She doesn’t cheer. She only claps when Lucy nudges her.

She just stares. She just accepts the soda that James makes her drink, because he knows her mouth must be dry as the desert.

She does dimly register, though, that Alex is more than the team captain, more than her school’s star power forward.

Alex is gritty – she gets slammed to the ground more than once by the opposing team’s massive center, once hitting her chin on the court and coming up bloody. She wipes it away like she barely notices, and when her coach forces her out of the game for a moment, she barely seems to notice her mouth being tended to, her eyes are so fixed on the game, on supporting her teammates.

Alex is clever and creative and focused – she sees things better, faster, than even the best players on the court; sees holes in the defense that no one else can, sees opportunities for her teammates to score that no one believed possible, sees how to rile the crowd with a simple twitch of her lips and toss of her head.

Alex is both selfless and cocky – she might score more than anyone else in the game, but she also has more assists; she sets more picks – or at least, that’s what Maggie thinks Lucy calls them – than anyone else on the team, but she also has a heady way of grinning when she scores that goes straight to Maggie’s core.

Alex comes away with a triple double and Maggie comes away with heat pooling between her legs and trembling hands.

Trembling, because Kara, flushed with her big sister’s victory, is leading her friends down to the locker room exit to wait for Alex after the game, so she can be the first non-teammate to hug her and to inspect her injuries, because Rao knows Alex won’t inspect her own.

Trembling, because when Alex’s eyes – still glistening with victory – meet hers for the first time over Kara’s shoulder, fireworks go off in Maggie’s stomach and everyone else in the multiverse ceases to exist.

Trembling, because Alex moves to shake her hand, and her hands are at once calloused and soft, strong and gentle.

“I’m Alex,” she tells her unnecessarily, and Maggie tries to remember language.

“I know,” is the only thing she comes up with, and she’s never been more grateful for Kara’s cousin Clark.

“Alex, this is Kara’s good friend Maggie. You know, the one who helped her out of that tricky situation at that house party a couple weeks ago.”

Maggie hadn’t known that the intensity in Alex’s eyes could increase, but it does at Clark’s words. Alex’s eyes rake up and down Maggie’s body, quickly, thoroughly.

Their hands are still clasped.

Their friends are silent, watching. Waiting. Hoping.

Alex licks her lips.

Maggie wants to kiss them.

“Well, Maggie, seems like I owe you a thank you. For taking care of my sister.”

“Oh, I um, what are friends for, right, I –”

“Let me take you out tonight. The team’s going out to celebrate the opener, and I uh… I’d love to bring a date. I mean. If you wanted.”

Alex doesn’t hear Maggie’s response over Lucy and Kara’s mutual shrieks, but she doesn’t have to – the answer is shining in Maggie’s eyes.

[kitliveblogs]

so this is basically a long-ass rant disguised as a review of Little Mermaid II that I originally posted on a different blog. maybe someday I'll actually get back to that blog, but for right now the theme is broken and I can't read anything on it anymore.

so for now, this will live right here instead c:

------------------

Everyone's already taken their shots at the notoriously bad Disney sequels made in the late 90s and early 2000s. They're basically a walking punch line just by existing. But really, not all of them are completely worthless, and a couple of them are even pretty enjoyable, in a hilarious "I can't believe they actually made this" sort of way.

But I'm here to talk about only the most heinous of cinematic disasters. And let me make one thing perfectly clear: this isn't just Kit being a bitter and cranky old fogy with a chip on her shoulder because the shitty sequel ruined her childhood. I mean, I am bitter and cranky, but The Little Mermaid II couldn't possibly lower my opinion of the original -- there's not really anything lower than rock bottom. (yeah I hate The Little Mermaid fight me)

This movie is just flat out that bad.

word count: 3070

------------------

I'm just gonna get one thing out of the way right now: nothing about this movie frustrates me more than the cast. This cast is made up of particularly well-known voice actors, and it's heartbreaking that they all got wrangled into doing this shit. Jodi Benson (Ariel), Samuel E. Wright (Sebastian), Kenneth Mars (King Triton), and Buddy Hackett (Scuttle) all return to reprise their roles from the first movie, and Pat Carroll who played Ursula is here to play Morgana, the main villain and Ursula's conveniently-never-before-mentioned sister. Yeah. They're doing that. And on top of getting so much of the original cast, they also roped in:

Rob Paulsen (Eric)

Tara Strong (Melody)

Clancy Brown (Undertow)

Cam Clarke (Flounder)

Rene freaking Auberjonois as Chef Louis

and one my favorite VAs Stephen Furst as Dash, one half of the Timon and Pumbaa knock-offs for the film.

When just looking at the cast list pisses me off this much... I don't think this is going to be much fun.

A quick recap for those who have been living under a rock since the late 70s: The Little Mermaid is the story of Ariel, daughter of the ruler of Atlantica, who at the completely world-wise age of 16 decides she's had enough of life under the sea and wants to live with the humans on land. She turns to the sea-witch Ursula for help, and in exchange for her voice is given a pair of legs and a deadline: kiss the man of her dreams within three days or join the shriveled legion of Ursula's previous victims. Naturally the witch doesn't play fair and Ariel fails, and King Triton offers himself in exchange for his daughter, thus sacrificing his washboard abs and obscenely powerful trident to Ursula. One climactic battle later, Ursula's dead, Triton turns Ariel into a human, and she and Prince Eric live happily ever after.

Until the sequel, of course, where Ariel and Eric have a baby girl, Melody, which makes me question the exact biology of this bizarre offspring. I mean just look at this thing:

She was just born but she's got a full head of hair and disturbingly large blue eyes. It's freakish. But anyway, this is where movie number 2 begins.

And we're off to a good start: smacked in the face with a terrible music number. I would say get used to those, but there aren't really enough in the movie to warrant it -- which is pretty bad when you consider this is supposed to be a musical. Also, "listen to Ariel's Melody"? That's... wow. I can't even say that's cute in a sarcastic way that's just terrible.

But oh no! The party is interrupted by Morgana, who is, as Sebastian so eloquently puts it:

Oh good. I can see we'll be dealing with truly ingenious writing here.

So after stealing the baby Melody, ranting and raving about being better than her sister Ursula, and attempting to feed the baby to a shark (all while Ariel, Eric, and Triton stand there doing absolutely nothing), Morgana flees to the arctic. Wait, the arctic? Well, alright, you need to escape pursuit to a barren wasteland, that's fair. I won't linger on this for now, as the geography problems will get a lot worse later.

One of the main MacGuffins of the movie is a gold locket with Melody's name inscribed on it, that projects an image of Atlantica and plays a lullaby when opened. King Triton was giving it to the baby before Morgana came onto the scene, and after failing to find her in a massive search of the sea, Triton drops it in the water and leaves. This strikes me as odd. Wouldn't you want to hang onto it? As a keepsake of your family? Or at the very least dispose of it more properly, just in case Melody might one day, oh I dunno, find it and realize her mother and father had been lying to her her entire life? Nah, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Fast forward 12 years. A giant wall has been built on the shore to keep Melody and the ocean apart, but being a tenacious kid she naturally figured out a way around it. Or rather, under it. Which raises the question: if this child could figure out a way out, why couldn't Morgana figure a way in? It would have been a simple matter to slip under the wall, scale the outside of the tower with her suction cup-riddled tentacles, and kidnap the baby to hold for ransom. Why was it so imperative to wait until Melody found the locket before enacting her plan to steal the trident?

Oh, yeah, that thing I mentioned before about her finding it? Lo and behold, she discovered the damn thing on one of her jaunts to collect seashells (which are comically huge by the way). If only Triton had done literally anything else with it, this whole mess might have been avoided.

But no time to worry about that now; there's a birthday party to attend!

Through a convoluted mess of trying to hide her seashells and pretend she'd been in her room the entire time, Melody accidentally ties Sebastian into the dorky bow on the back of her party dress. I'm sure this will have no consequences down the line at all--

Huh. Didn't see that one coming. This leads to a ridiculous scene of Chef Louis chasing Sebastian around the ballroom like some sort of crazed lunatic. I know this was a thing from the first movie, but this guy is out of his fucking gourd; why do they keep him around? Ultimately, Melody runs off to her room out of embarrassment.

I really don't want to linger on anything for too long since this movie doesn't deserve that much energy, but there's two things about this scene I need to address. One: so basically if Sebastian had just remained calm and waited it out... none of this would have happened? I think the blame for this one falls on him. And two: why the hell are all these other children making fun of Melody? I know she's ~weird~ and all, but she's the freaking princess. Don't you think they'd know better than exclude the princess of the entire kingdom? I would want to stay on her good side is all I'm saying.

Anyway. Melody finally takes a good look at the locket and realizes something's up, confronting her mother about Atlantica. Okay, Ariel, here's your chance. If you just explain the situation, she'll understand and maybe you could even take her to Atlantica under heavy guard or something so she can finally meet her damn grandfather.

Or you could just get mad. Getting mad is good too.

Naturally after that Melody decides to take off, rowing a rather conveniently placed boat out to sea to try and figure it all out for herself. While she meets Undertow and agrees to follow him to Morgana, Sebastian is back at the castle psyching himself up to tell Ariel that Melody ran away.

WAIT. YOU DIDN'T KNOW? IT'S BEEN TWELVE YEARS AND YOU HAD NO IDEA SEBASTIAN WAS KEEPING AN EYE ON MELODY??

So in the end, a) Ariel is the least observant person in the world, b) Sebastian never once told her about Melody's excursions beyond the wall (remember that for later), and c) Triton didn't bother to let Ariel know he'd assigned Sebastian the job, continuing the family cycle of not communicating with each other. In hindsight all this bullshit family drama isn't that surprising.

Back to Melody and Morgana (yes, somehow Undertow and the manta ray minions hauled the boat to the arctic in just a couple of hours), Morgana is doing what she does best: whining about Ursula. Honey, I don't think your mother favored her because she was the oldest; I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that Ursula was actually competent and managed to accomplish her goals. Plus her magic is clearly more powerful than yours, since you have to use one of her potions to turn Melody into a mermaid.

OH MY GOD A SONG. I forgot this movie was supposed to have those. It's an upbeat little tune about learning to swim with her new tail, which quickly evolves into a duet with her mother and finding their "worlds:" Melody finding a place she belongs underwater, and Ariel keeping Melody safe. It's boring, but at least Tara Strong can sing well, and Jodi Benson can still belt it out like she could twenty years ago.

Morgana tells Melody that the spell will only last for two days, and that in order to make it permanent, she'll need the "powerful trident that was stolen from her." I'm sure you're as shocked as I was when it was revealed that she didn't just want a puppy and someone to make her pie. So off Melody goes with naught but determination and a map carved into a block of ice. Wait. That seems... poorly designed.

There aren't even words on it. Now I'm no cartographer, but that seems like a pretty major flaw for a map.

Meanwhile, Ariel has joined the search for Melody as a mermaid again, because apparently, according to Eric, "You should go. You know these waters -- and you know our daughter." Um. I'm not even sure where to begin with that one. Let's just say I agree with half that statement; I'll give you one guess which half.

Back in the arctic-- Stop. Okay look. I liked Timon and Pumbaa well enough. Timon had his moments of obnoxiousness, but Nathan Lane was likable enough to always bring it back, and Pumbaa is still my favorite character from The Lion King. But lemme tell ya, I HATE what Timon and Pumbaa did to Disney for a while. They wanted quirky, amiable sidekicks that would keep the kids entertained and distract from the lion sex happening in the background. I can understand that. But when every kid walked away singing Hakuna Matata and the Disney execs realized what they'd stumbled on, every movie afterward that was bound to fail miserably tried to shoehorn in a pair that would have the same appeal to sell more merch. Timon and Pumbaa themselves wound up with their own movie and a SATURDAY MORNING CARTOON SHOW. YEAH. THAT REALLY HAPPENED.

Why do I bring it up? Do you really have to ask?

Meet Tip and Dash, your knock-offs for the evening.

They are, as they put it, "adventurers slash explorers." That might have actually been a good way of setting them apart from the lackadaisical Timon and Pumbaa -- except that in their very first scene they attempt to save a baby penguin from a shark and completely botch the whole thing by being complete cowards. And then when the penguin family gets upset and berates them for their piss-poor job, the movie has the audacity to frame this like we should feel sorry for them. Movie, I refuse to sympathize with them when all the criticism against them is CORRECT. Also sharks don't live in the arctic. Neither do walruses. Just throwing that out there.

From there they bump into Melody, and she convinces them to take her to Atlantica, since Morgana was an idiot for carving the map into an easily-breakable piece of ice. By the way, for the record, Dash is the only likable character in this entire movie, but even then that's not saying much when you consider I'm biased because of his VA. He's the one that actually agrees to help Melody because she's "a damsel in distress," and doesn't care that she's actually a human-turned-mermaid. Come to think of it, this could have been a really good analogy for trans youth, but that probably would have been way too complicated a subject for a shitty Disney sequel.

Also I was gonna skip this part but it's stuck in my head so I'd like to introduce you to the CATCHIEST AND MOST OBNOXIOUS SONG IN ANY MOVIE EVER. Like damn! That would be an accomplishment if it wasn't so terrible. And I'm not exaggerating; I'm completely immune to It's A Small World, but THIS? This garbage sticks to me like glue. (and if you decided to skip the song you now have It's A Small World in your head so either way you have to SUFFER WITH ME)

Ahem. Moving on.

The Three Stooges here finally make it to Atlantica, just barely missing Ariel, Triton, and Flounder going the other way. Flounder, in the past twelve years, has had about five annoying kids and developed a dad belly. It's not really relevant to anything but it's just hilarious to me that even fish can have dad bellies. But there's only a half hour of this turd left, so let's keep chugging along.

On their way into the palace they bump into a piece of-- what? Fish jailbait? Jail fish bait? Eh, whatever. THEY BUMP INTO THIS KID:

Yes, as a matter of fact it was. Even though Atlantica is clearly in tropical waters. Starfish, sea urchins, and crabs all live in tropical waters, whereas penguins live in colder climates. This geography is seriously messed up. I don't think anyone on the creative team even bothered to so much as glance at a map while making this -- which would also explain the terrible ice map, I suppose.

Melody swipes the trident and heads back to Morgana's lair. Cloak and Dagger, the two manta ray minions (I know, subtle), follow behind, and Ariel catches sight of them. She and Flounder in turn follow them, discovering the witch's hiding place in the arctic. Personally my first thought was "So, we've looked everywhere actually means except there because it's cold as balls and nobody wanted to?" but Ariel's a bit more focused than I was by this point.

Ariel tries to send Flounder back, to let Triton know where they are, but Flounder, being an idiot, says he won't let her go in there alone. DUDE. GO GET HELP. Who does, in fact, go to get help? Why Scuttle, of course!

And it's all your fault, bro.

Ariel rushes in in the nick of time to stop Melody from handing over the trident, but naturally the two of them get into the argument that puts the final nail in coffin. Melody actually says "You knew how much I loved the sea!" but I'd like to refer you back to the facts. Melody and Ariel never had an honest and open conversation about, well, anything. The closest evidence we have to support this statement is that Melody thought Atlantica was just an old fish tale, which means at some point Ariel told her stories about it and the mermaids. Otherwise there's just genetics: your mother's a mermaid so you must love the sea too. That's an awfully big leap. And there's the fact that Sebastian never told Ariel about Melody's adventures outside the wall. She had zero idea about any of it. So how could she have possibly known how much Melody loved the ocean, outside of sheer guesswork?

Oh, but "you know our daughter." Well if you SAY it it MUST be true!

By the by, Melody's little realization here of "I have made a horrible mistake" when she gives Morgana the trident is just priceless.

De-licious.

Finally we've reached the big battle. Morgana builds herself a big fuck-off tower of ice, and we're ready for action.

Scuttle, in a rare moment of non-stupidity, comes soaring in, tailed by Prince Eric's ship. Before blasting it to pieces Morgana asks, "Come to join the party?" and I have to agree; where the hell have you been for the last 40 minutes, anyway, Eric? ALSO

And I present you the only funny line in the movie:

...If it feels like I'm rushing through this it's only because I am.

After getting the trident, Morgana had sealed Melody and Flounder into an ice cavern. Unfortunately for her, Melody's two days are now up, and she turns back into a human in a chamber full of water. Tip and Dash rush in to save her, and come face-to-face with a full-sized Undertow. Through a not-at-all suspenseful sequence of the shark chasing them around, they manage to trick him into ramming the ice wall trapping Melody and Flounder, and get her back up to the surface. Where she just. wakes up. No coughing water or dizziness or trouble breathing. NOPE. Her eyes open as soon as she hits air and she's good to go.

Disney: showing the lighter side of almost drowning.

As Morgana fulfills her power fantasy of getting everyone to bow down to her and shrieking "WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE NOW, MA" (yeah I'm pretty sure it's still Ursula), Melody scales the ice tower in an attempt to retrieve the trident. If nothing else, this movie shows a very inaccurate portrayal of trying to walk on ice. Unsurprisingly, Melody succeeds and tosses the trident back to Triton, who seals Morgana in a block of ice to rest forever at the bottom of the sea.

So Ursula was literally stabbed through the chest with an entire boat and died but Morgana gets punked out in a block of ice? Weak.

The family reconciles, Melody takes the whole "grandfather" thing a little too well, and the movie ends with them tearing down the wall so the humans and merpeople can interact freely from now on.

I only have two questions before I finally shut up about this stupid stupid movie:

1. So does the whole kingdom just sort of take it in stride that a) merpeople exist and b) the prince married one? 2. How can a movie that's only an hour and ten minutes long sans credits feel SO MUCH LONGER

This whole thing was ridiculous from the jump. Who was demanding a sequel to the Little Mermaid of all freaking things? Who really wanted to see sequels to any of the movies from the Disney Renaissance? And there are quite a few of them. Like I said, some of them can be pretty enjoyable if you like cheesiness. But most of them are just terrible like this one, and if you're wondering whether you'll be seeing more of the Dark Age of Disney, don't worry. Their days will come.