#she got hit on the head maybe?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
making a collection
making another collection with a threatening aura
#davy back fightbpart 3 letsgo#HOW do the three big guns get wasted on the eating contest... horrible plan.... luffy is fine bc well... but not sanji and zoro like damn.#luffy DOESNT WANNA EAT??? CALL THE NAVY!!!!#what was i saying.... bad idea putting the three beasts there#FRANKY FRANKY FRANKY!!!! they captured the two princesses :(#one sided beef squashed between luffy and foxy. friendship ended with random ex marine guy. now luffy is my best friend#usopp and franky bonding time hell yeah. throw usopp by the head once more pelase#nami with zoros swords just like holding them looks so cool like she should get a few swords too... nami three sword style oda drawing pls#i think this man underestimates nami and luffys power together he doesnt know about shiki#luffy saying he knows its a trap and sorry for being late.... lets go on an adventure all nine of us.... usopp yes anding his lie..... omg#cant believe nami isnt there yet. she could take this guy. oh there she is!!!!! she does look cool with the swords and jumping to get luffy#zoro screaming in agony from luffy getting shot omg THIS FUCKING GUY OF COURSE!!! this looks like its so over#zoro and sanji must feel so useless rn. they didnt even get the chance to fight like damn#komei-kakka??? more like come caca. boom#luffy face down dead on the floor akdjkaa chopper have you tried looking at the wound to see if it harmed him idk#it hit the face akdjskn usopp that was coom also#was robin flirting with the other guy and zoro caught her and she told hum to shut up???#'your friends got the best of me but you are still in my arms an-' 'HEAT EGG!! ALSO YOU'RE ON FIRE!'#flare maneauver that was so slay also luffy and nami in the same frame so twins of them. my children. birthed them one right after the othe#zoro and sanji fighting back to back. back to back to back to you i dont wanna fall right back to us maybe you should run right back to her#that is such a bop song. also post wano zosan. and post wci. see the recurrent theme#fighting in water.... being on top of the sword that was a slay... red hawk ace i will never forget you it seems#foxy liking his jolly roger omg nami fooled him ahdhsjs i think they should have pirate game event every year they yearn for contests#now since this experience foxy should make monthly multitudinary pirate games olympics hoping the strawhats join them a la gatsby#the faces at the mushroom akdhaksjs#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies#kinda loved how robin betted on franky against usopp.... i will take the crumbs
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
WE GOT BREEDER BACKSTORY LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#jungle juice#s22e55#the second i saw baby breeder i started (internally) hooting#so many things i loved and so many things that make me go ARRRGHH#the panels? the megalomania? the halo always behind his head? the horns after he killed yuseong? SO GOOD#and i LOVE#THAT PANEL#OF THE PREDATORS#w their varying reactions of terror‚ dread‚ and resentment#these people‚ who are under his command‚ who fear him in equal measure#AND???#“Daddy made you a meal. Eat your food.” FUOWAHNFJIWNFIWJWFNJRF?!!?!?!?#hell YEAH he's a FREAK oh thank god#still got mixed feelings for him don't get me wrong#his backstory's nice but it feels like something's missing#and yuseong's death absoLUTELY did not hit. i wanna say bro got stars and striped but even then she put up more of a fight#idk maybe i've just been spoiled by the MVA arc#it's the only time i've ever FELT breeder be an actual threat
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i may be doing something slightly problematic wrt my friend group but like it’s for the plot and i know nothing’s gonna come out of it so it’s fine
#one of my best friends at university has his friends from high school in town rn and so we’ve all been hanging out for the week#and like. ngl one of them is very cute and we hit it off and i got his insta and i think he might also like me maybe#like idk i don’t want to get cocky esp bc my other best friend said that she was told he can be a bit of a flirt with everyone but like#who caaaares he leaves in like three days i can have fun while he’s here right if we both know nothing is going to come out of it#idk like i’m not sure what i’m expecting to happen anyway but at the very least i get a friend out of this if nothing else#but like. i think i’m going to make it my mission to hang out w him one on one just once before he leaves#just like for funsies#and like in all honesty in the back of my head i’m like what if i get my first boy kiss this week. what then#mari is irrelevant
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just moved my 4 foot tall cactus out into the sun for the spring. 😮💨 in july. 😩 i'm afraid i've gotta repot her this year, her pot is biodegrading pretty bad. i think i'm gonna have to like. actually shop for a nice pot for once. i don't think i can put her in another cheapie one because it needs to be really big and it needs to survive being picked up twice a year. eugh. AND i have to do the repotting? come on.
#she's big enough that i accidentally hit her head on the fucking porch ceiling :'(#god i wonder how far down her roots go#maybe i could get a shorter pot?#also she's got like 4 big segments maybe i can separate them?#that would make things easier#but it's not like with a pothos or a mint or an air plant or a fern. you can't just start ripping. she'll fucking kill you.#this may be the most daunting gardening activity i've ever done#with my venus flytrap coming second only because it posed no danger to me#so far#adam yaps
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need to kiss someone right now. i need to hold their face as i lean in for the kiss. i need to feel their lips against mine and have our tongues slide across each other. i need to feel the slight hesitation before they finally give in and kiss me back with everything they've got. i need to feel the saliva stringing between our mouths. i need to feel their hands pulling me closer, desperate to feel all of me
#i just woke up from a dream where one of my friends wanted to kiss me but was too shy about it#but i could tell they wanted it so i gently rubbed their face and leaned in most of the way#and let them close the distance. they were still nervous until i slipped my tongue into their mouth#in which case all worry left their head and they kissed me back proper#and it was everything I've ever wanted in a kiss. but now im awake completely unkissed#I'm tired of getting teased by my dreams like that..#i get stuck with all this vivid passionate imagery and no fucking outlet#i feel so pathetic yearning this hard but all my peers have had their first kisses#friends that i wanted to kiss going and kissing eachother in front of me just for the hell of it#the girlfriend i dated for longest refused to kiss me. i got like. maybe 2 cheek kisses? never once on the lips#even when i asked she would say no. i dont resent her for it but Man did it hurt#the closest I've ever gotten was one of my friends shotgunning me hits from his bong#every time my heart flutters and i want to kiss him for real#ive just been searching for someone to kiss me for a very long time#and ive just never found them...
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
got myself a little pocket radio bc you never know when severe weather might knock out the power or cell towers but apparently there aren't any weather radio stations i can pick up :/
#there just aren't any in my area#and im right in between the two closest stations so they interfere since they're on. the same frequency#there ARE other radio stations in my city im listening to one right now that plays alt rock#like From This City not even a neighbour city#but there's none that report weather#i wanna have a weather radio bc i have a deep fear of tornadoes#ive been doing tornado drills since i was a small small child they're a pretty common thing here#and i have had. so so many nightmares where i got stuck somewhere during a tornado#stuck in a car as it gets picked up or stuck at school watching the building just disintegrate in front of me#one time we did actually get stuck at the school during a tornado warning they couldn't let us go home bc we had to shelter#so we were kept at the school for maybe an hour until the warning lifted just curled up with our heads down for so long#i still instinctively know the tornado sheltering position- legs folded under you; head down as far as possible; hands covering your neck#even though i haven't done a drill since i moved nearer to the lake#tornadoes get less common closer to the lake but living in the middle of nowhere they just Spawn Everywhere#another time we got word of one touching down while i was on the school bus going home#i was literally the last student on the bus and we were like at the corner about to turn to my street#and the bus driver decided to just stop there and let me sprint home bc it was faster cutting through the woods than going up the driveway#she just opened the door and said 'just go straight to your basement don't stop don't wait for anything'#she waited to make sure i could find the key bc i was home alone and then just drove the school bus to her own house so she could shelter#I've never seen any tornado damage firsthand but like. you never know when one could just wipe out a town#especially small towns like my old hometown if that place ever got hit by a tornado nothing would be left#it's literally one street that's the town center and most of the residences it's TINY and getting smaller every year#i think it'll be a ghost town soon most of the businesses have shuttered and a lot of houses are condemned
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
immortal days women are so diverse and interesting genuinely. it feels like their most common trait aside from ‘being a woman’ is ‘being into women’ also which is definitely a bonus
#also like how they get to be just as violent as the male characters even when their role in the plot isnt one that would normally involve#violence. like ekin gets hit and we get the little box with ‘ekins actually a trained boxer lol’ in it as she fights back and then we got#karl as the classic ‘civilian gf of runaway mafia heir’ but when ashas in trouble instead of sitting back and letting other people handle it#she calls her own troubleshooter and then shows up to the fight and kicks ashas mom in the head. fucking fantastic#and then matilda is like the classic feminine fighter of the troubleshooters but also shes six feet tall and shows up to a party in a suit#and calls a girl she barely knows ‘babe’#kan onix is also there but shes a cop so.#and i cant talk about hira because i would just go on forever and ever! and then id bring matilda back into it too and we would be here all#night :)#no but like kinda early on i was like huh maybe hgg thinks women are people…#did not know how right i was#mine#immortal days
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk what is happening honestly so tired so eepy let boys run the errands with teddybeardog and i have some regrets ( tm )
#apparently she almost bit a child (but it was because said child carried bread or a sandwich so i bet she wanted. said sandwich)#(her favorite snack of all time is bread)#and also had her nails clipped and it was. very unpleasant#she had lots of stress today due to storms and her anxiety pills didn't do a great job :/#then a different person had to clip her nails#not usual doctors#she had to have a muzzle she was tryna bite :<<#maybe because it was hurty because there's this thing inside pet nails#called “proper claw” or something#and she has it and it's very long and it has nerves and all#she has it long due to being neglected in the past by previous owners so it grew and grew inside the nail that can be clipped#so we can't clip the nails short - short so we don't damage the nerves#apparently the doctor did clip a bit too short#and the boys tried to say that they can't be clipped this short but the lady was ukrainian and didn't speak polish#and teddybeardog bled a little#though she's a big girl and it didn't hurt her much but she was STRESSED#she also tripped on stairs and hit her head :(((#she only calmed down when she got to lay down and sleep with me#and now she's better#i just think i would've handled it all better#if i had not slept 2h yesterday and then spent 4 hours running other errands that made me pass out on bed unable to get up#i let teddybeardog have forbidden snackos for being so brave today#(raisins in chocolate)#dont come @ me i know what i'm doing#for a dog this big the amount of chocolate she was given does nothing#she will also have some chicken and cheese off my pizza#but then again they know teddybeardog and whats good for her i just know i am her comfort person despite how she looks at my boys#like theyre bread#and at me#like im just some guy TM
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
truly a blessing that im not home right now or i don't what i'd do to my roommate. fucking audacity
#long story short results from the final test from water constructiona got posted#she got the 9th highest score out of all 150 people#i barely passed having 2 points over the limit and our 3rd friend was short on 3 points so she will have to retake#mind you that last girl was the one who actually put the most work into this out of us three#she actually thoroughly prepared me while i read the presentations twice and my roommate didn't do anything at all#roommate got a cheat sheet minutes before the test from some rando and just copied the answers that were there#and now is boasting how she got one of the top scores without wasting any time#got lucky okay that's life#but then on the general uni group chat one guy asked about when's the 2nd try for the test#and i response to which my roommate on our private group started a whole ass monologue#that how in the worst HE didn't pass this. he was always getting top scores from all the subject. he got a 5.0 from hydrology#well shut the fuck up he's just some guy who's a student like anyone else#it's not set in stone that he'll always have top scores because it's just fucking hard anyway can do worse sometimes even top students#maybe he was tired maybe he didn't have time to study maybe he didn't have any cheat sheets and just tried to rely on his knowledge#anything can happen and he can get any grade just like anyone can#very few things piss me off as much as people saying stuff like her#i got so heated up over this that my head started to hurt#i hate it here#this is what makes me always so damn anxious before any test#because if i fail everyone always starts asking what happened and how ME out of all people didn't pass#so now when dhe started saying this about that guy it just hit to close to home i guess#i need to go on a walk to cool down
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#welcome to another installment of: angel spits out all his thoughts about autism cause if he keeps them inside his head will explode#in today's episode: is it possible that my ''panic attacks'' have been autistic meltdowns all this time?#then answer is maybe!#ok so i was watching this youtube video from channel I'm autisticn now what? (check it out it's great!)#and meg was talking about the different types of autistic meltdowns and how they might manifest#and then in the comments people were discussing autistic meltdowns vs panic attacks and how cofused they used to be about them#and that got me thinking... there's a big thing that needs to happen during a panic attack for it to be a panic attack#and that is anxious thoughts... many people talk about fear of death during panic attacks#and that was never my experience. I don't feel like I'm going to die when I have these ''attacks''#they feel painful and like i'm completely out of control but my head is quite clear in that regard#i always thought it was because i don't think dying is like The Worst thing that could happen to me so maybe that was why#and it never ocurred to me that it could be an autistic meltdown because i always saw those as ''little boy hits his head against the wall'#(horrible i know) but it's more than that! (plus i sadly started self harming when the ''attack'' is too bad so not i fit that idea lol)#it's the uncontrollable crying. the throwing anything you have at hand across the room. the not being able to utter words#(other than ''no'' in my case) it's the complete lack of control#and that fits so much more to what i experience! i even related to meg's personal anecdote about a meltdown she had as a child#being separated from my mom made me go into full panic modes as a kid and that was seen as a tantrum but it was more than that to me!#and as an added bonus the only therapist i've ever seen in my life used to call my panic attacks ''pseudo-panic attacks''#because even she felt it didn't quite fit in the description (not that she was a good therapist so i can't put her as an example lol)#but anyways... yeah every day that goes by i'm more and more convinced I am autistic and it scares me to fucking death#because of the way my mom reacted when i first raised the question. so yeah this is for nothing lol nothing will change in my life#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#angel talks#personal
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
ANOTHER DEATH BY INMOLATION???? ENOUGH!!!!
#really happy about being wrong about oden. normally when you see something is badly written it is true but here oden being alive being bad#writing was a trally a gotcha moment.... well unlike with pell and laki and wiper..... and conis' dad....#ashura....... and kanjuro is still alive...... this man deserves an execution#is this orichi??? the beheaded one was a kanjuro drawing too???? jesus#orichis fruit is a dragon with a lot of heads.... maybe he can regrow them lmao....#omg double hakai.... goodbye my brave soldiers.... ZORO?? ENMA IS A GODSEND YOU OWN ALL YOUR LIVES TO HIYORI....#zoro got hurt and luffy is on the offensive again..... exactly..... YES RED ROCK!!! BUT DON'T MISS!!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1025#oden and kin on a flower field..... okay......#luffy stopping the attack meant for zoro.... oof#kaido's face knowing this was gonna hurt....#kid and traffy catching luffy too..... everybody loves luffy.....#how can luffy just stop kaido's attack like that's insane....#the others attacking big mom... that was such a big brain move.... they made teams here... luffy and then the brains (everyone elseÑ#jesus. that was something else#luffys giggle and smile when kid and tragfy catch him... he is so happy when people are there for him..... he loves fighting with friends :)#episode 1026#OMG GOODBYE BIG MOM!!!! SHE IS IN THE SEA I CANT BELIEVE THIS!!!!!#TRAFFY RATHER LET THE MISSION FAIL THAN ONE OF THEM DIE??? OMG#HOW IS PROMETHEUS IN THE WATER?????? FUCK OFF!!!!#they are bullying zeus lmaooo INTERNAL FIGHTING!! INTERNAL FIGHTING!!!#luffy knocked out and atill looking at kaido again.... ooff#this is insane. luffy just saved zoro and told him he wont need to die and here he goes again. oh this time i migh fr die. take care goodbye#the bleeding... oof THE SCAR JUST AS THE ONE HE HAS.... goodbye zolo..... rip bozo... don't fall like that man..... ass up like sanji...#he got a 2x1 hit..... goodbye law too.... kaido's eye when he notices luffy is up again.... also haoshoku..... i dont wanna look it up.....#nvm is the conqueror's haki.... i do not remember the og names AT ALL#episode 1027
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)
#rat rambles#starve posting#maxwell posters have lost any semblance of tolerance from me ages ago Ive yet to meet a maxwell fan who's just like a normal person#and to clarify I actually do like maxwel as I am the number one just some asshole whos in too deep enjoyer#but dear god are ppl just absolutely incapable of being normal abt this man and everyone around him#and even beyond that ppl just do not get this man like please he is indeed interesting but not because of some 'retconed redemption'#like pls we can live in a world where he is not an irridemable monster and is in fact just some guy while also still being a flawed person#like the fact that he is so deeply flawed in ways that he never actually properly adressed and challenged is the interesting thing to me#like look at me. he went through horrible shit he didnt deserve. that didnt inherently make him a better or worse person#it just made him a more miserable person#and he didnt escape because of some change of heart or character development#and afterwards he teamed up with wilson because of necessity#I do think on some level he genuinely cares abt the other survivors and he does have genuine regret for how things turned out#but again those things dont inherently mean he moved past the flaws that got him here it just means he has the ability to recognize that#shit sucks and that he wish none of it happened#its why encore is one of my favorite animations from a character perspective because it shows some juicy charlie and maxwell stuff#mainly it shows both that charlie has not forgiven his ass and is manipulating him and that maxwell is still susceptible to it#which isnt a sigh of them rolling back development it's just a sign that maxwell is easy to manipulate with the right cards#which adds up considering his past and his present very well in my opinion#this is a man whos historically always ran away from his problems and is always on the hunt for a sense of control#and charlie tapped into both that and his ever present guilt#its in fact very unsurprising and not out of place for him to fall for that sort of manipulation#and it also makes for a great set up for the inevitable betrayal from charlie as maxwell is hit by the harsh reality of his situation#and that whole situation would lead to some yummy tasty parallels when charlie inevitably gets betrayed herself (I hope)#the ways charlie and maxwel are so similar yet so different facinates me deeply I love how much charlie doesnt realize shes kinda fucked#I want her to be betrayed so hard and left in the dust with no ground to stand on I want the rug pulled out from under her feet#her composition comes from her confidence in the necessity of her actions and the moral superiority she feels over maxwell#so having her sense of superiority be revoked would make for a super fascinating dynamic as she tries to justify the situation in her head#I wanna see her siral and then maybe change her pronouns idk
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
hello everyone i am moving back in with my parents after living away from them for nine months ... they are absolutely insane to me i have already had really shitty stuff happen and we have not even picked up my stuff from my house ... but at least i will be living rent free and i will be able to save up and try again
#tw->#i have been having a very hard time the past month i have been looking on sites for housing every single day and reaching out#but every single one has fell through#and they are almost all way out of my budget as i am a minimum wage worker#and i switched jobs at the beginning of december in hopes for more hours and a better work environment but it has been so much worse#i have only worked like four days this entire month#i have cried multiple times a day and every day this entire month#and i know it is going to be bad moving back in with my parents but i literally do not have any other options#i had a full scale autistic meltdown in the car with my mom the other day#i had not had one like that in over a year maybe multiple years#i hit my head so hard so many times and she just got more mad at me and told me how much of a toddler i was acting like#which is a huge huge trigger for me#lolll lollllll idk what to do!!!!!#they don't call me my chosen name here they don't respect my gender they don't like my piercings and have not even seen my tattoos#goddddddd this is so awful guys 😭#but at the very least i will not be in a house where my toes are numb even with the heater on under multiple blankets wearing socks#and there will always be food in the pantry#and i will not have to deal with drugs and felons in the house#i am hoping i can use this as a total restart#we will see...pray for me LOLL
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
g o o d n i g h t .
#very incoherent rant about my week in the tags; sorry for incoherence i hit my head earlier so b s#im just. so d o n e with this week. 100000% done i say.#on monday i was late to work by 20 minutes and had to stay behind for half an hour to make up for it bc the app we use to clock in suuuucks#and i also found out that i lost $40 of my salary bc of said clocking in app which. suuuuuuuuuuucks#though. this week had a weirdly low number of samples. which was. kinda nice ig since i managed to finish all my work before 7pm… but still.#like we managed to finish our stuff so quickly that we managed to watch bee movie together on tuesday………#mmmmmm i don’t remember much about what happened on wednesday though…..#but yesterday. oh g o d . yesterday. thursday. whateverday. g o d.#so the software to operate one of the [lab equipment] machines kept crashing everytime we tried to print results#regardless of whether there were any samples being tested with said machine at the moment. which. y’know#sucks on its own. but it also means that the tested sample had to be reweighed and every sample that came after it had to be reentered again#which was a m a j o r pain in the behind.#so like. after i reran the sample post-first software crash… the boss’s favourite employee freakin’ remote-accessed the computer and#he did the results thing. and crashed the software. while a sample was being analysed. and the entire monitor!!! went!!!! dark!!!! when he!!#so. i ‘calmly’ and ‘rationally’ rushed out to the office area to give him a piece of my mind.#which. may or may not have involved screaming at him and slapping him. it’s too bad that i slapped him so loudly that our boss heard/saw it…#but. um. she didn’t call me out to screech at me in return. she sent him into the lab area to settle his thing himself in fact. so. hm.#i guess i’m able to keep my job for another week. maybe.#it didn’t stop my coworkers from making fun of me for slapping the guy though so b s#anyways ig i got my just desserts today bc i walked straight into the side of the door of an in-workplace bathroom stall at full force#and i think i bruised the side of my head… what goes around comes around ig……#idek what i’m even typing anymore i blame my head hurty for this#inedible blubbering
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
oficially diagnosed with adhd babeyyyyyyy
#this is so funny to me cause if you asked me a year ago if i thought i had adhd i would confidently have said no#but then in the middle of a therapy session i could almost see the imaginary lamp over my therapist's head turn on#and she said you know what? i think you should investigate if you have adhd#and i was a little skeptical about it but i mentioned it to my parents and they were like hold on... she's right#and then on the same week i was hanging out with a newly made friend and outta nowhere she stopped me and asked if i had adhd#so i was like welp... maybe i do#and then i made a psychiatrist appointment who sent me to a neuropsychologist to take multiple tests involving logical thinking memory#attention span etc etc#i did very high on logical thinking but the attention part was low and the memory part was average#which means i can't pay attention well but the moments that i do i retain and can understand well#it explains a lot cause i had literally no trouble with school like i was top5 students in my school up until 9th grade cause we didn't have#to do any long term studying or projects or whatever#but then in high school when things got more complicated and i HAD to pay attention to understand concepts things got much harder#i couldn't just logic my way out of exams anymore and also i had way more classes#like when i had afternoon classes (two times a week) i literally just gave up cause i knew i couldn't pay attention#but i mean i still passed every class with no final exams or anything but i went from a 90% student to a 65% one#(except in humanities i love you humanities)#and then i got into college and the pandemic hit and online classes were absolutely awful like it was truly bad for me#i was a portuguese major for a year and a half and i honest to god don't remember 5% of what i was supposed to know#again i did well on my tests and stuff i had a 88% average but like#that was solely from panicking pre due dates and crying and doing the little reading i absolutely had to do 10 hours before the exam was due#and then immediately forgetting everything the second i hit send#i think there were maybe 5 ocasions during the whole year and a half where i was able to actually pay attention during an online class#most of the time i tried for like 3 minutes and gave up#and it really made me sad cause i thought i was just a lazy ass throwing my college experience away#which made me extra upset cause i was studying in like basically the best college in the country#and it's a public one so the people were paying for my studies only for me to throw it all away??#anyway it was a tough time for me mentally and this diagnosis makes me feel so relieved#like when i can't pay attention it's because of the way my brian opperates and not my character#my post
3 notes
·
View notes