#she doesnt know that isnt remotely what he had in mind and in fact her character growth from that undermined his plan

[isaacathom]

bad alternate timeline is going well in that my character, a perennial wuss, realised that another pc has kidnapped her aunt and threatened her cousin and immediately went 'oh im gonna fucking kill him'

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

[seaspaces27]

bfb and mechanical minds

in bfb, objects come in many different forms and shapes. today, we will be looking at a specific set of objects: tv, robot flower, remote, and roboty.

what these specific objects have in common is that they're mechanical minds, but it doesnt just stop there.

when i hear the phrase “mechanical minds”, connotations like technology, robotics, and ai, start to come up. the last one in particular interests me. are the mechanical minds some form of advanced artificial intelligence?

This is what golfball had to say about mechanical minds when choosing her team members in bfb1. what shes implying here is that mechanical minds are smarter than non-mechanical objects, but is this true? and if so, how exactly?

well, to answer all these questions, we first need to know what makes a mechanical mind a mechanical mind

1. structure the structure of a mechanical mind relates to machinery, whether this be as an electronic appliance or as robotic materials(e.g. metal, led lights, etc). in some cases, this can be beneficial, as roboty was able to survive being hit by a jawbreaker

2. compute mechanical minds are shown to be able to make computations

theyre able to take input data (”turn purple!”), process them(set screen to purple), and give off an output (display purple). this is a trait that is common in computers. with this ability, they can also make calculations

in bfb6, tv was able to calculate and display the votes of who was to be eliminated in the team beep. what he did here is a task that i think would be very difficult for non-mechanically minded objects (as well as humans) to achieve. the fact that he computed (or at the very least, estimated) the votes to such exact values, plus his history of calculating votes in bfdia, shows that he must have been using an algorithm or some sophisticated neural network that he’s perfected with time.

3. connect to the internet..? remember abntt in bfb7? as they were stuck on the moon, they weren't able to directly compete in the competition, so they did it indirectly, by controlling remote through robot flower.

ethics aside, this shows us that mechanical minds are capable of sending data to other mechanical minds

you can kind of imagine it as an internet connection between networks. below is a visualisation i made of how such a topology would look like:

tennis and basket ball send inputs to robot flower, who converts it to signals that the ship can send across to remote via the place robot flower(from now on, i’ll just refer to it as the internet) went to.

on a side note: perhaps the internet seems to be quite unknown to the mechanical minds? judging by how robot flower seems to be a bit confused upon entering the place.

this however, may not apply to remote. she defended herself by trying to send a bomb over to her hackers, which, quickly took a turn once rf closed the connection. at first this might seem like no big deal, but the fact that shes even able to send a bomb (and in a short amount of time, too) over shows that she has some knowledge/experience of the internet, and more possibly, herself, and how she works.

on one other side note about the internet. in the episode, you can see white star grid-like points moving in constant directions, moving pass a central area. could that be travelling data unrelated to robot flower and remote? and if so, would it mean the bfb universe isn't as quiet as we expect it to be?

4. sentience mechanical minds are, without a doubt, sentient. they can make sense of the world from their unique point of view, and experience the world

from the perspective of a designer or automator, this would be good, as the mechanicals dont have to act on simple if statements, but instead, make their own logical choices(whether by neural networks or whatever). however, with the ability to make decisions and experience things, comes the ability to feel emotions, and these emotions can have an effect on decision making, which can cause mechanical minds to make irrational decisions.

for example, the situations remote and robot flower went through in the screenshot above. i spoke about this last post with remote, where she had a choice of going against her teams morals by killing, or lose the challenge and have her body hacked. robot flower was also in a difficult dilemma, where she had to choose between killing everyone on the moon, or going against gb’s earlier instruction by closing the connection (may i add that its a bit ironic how remotes the one who sends a bomb instead of following her teams passive morals while rf valued the safety of her friends over the challenge).

in both instances, these two minds have demonstrated that they are not only capable of feeling emotions like fear and pressure, but that theyre also able to think for themselves. they can deviate from their original instructions and make a choice based on their own individual experience.

sentience is not a feature that differentiates mechanicals from non mechanicals. they can have this regardless, however, for such a thing to be possible in mechanical minds means that theyre a very very advanced form of machinery. if you hooked these machine minds up to a turing test, they'd pass it with ease

the answer now, to actually answer the question. are mechanical minds smarter?

well, in terms of computation, being able to calculate things faster than anyone else can come in handy.

in terms of internet access, it can be seen as a huge advantage. what abntt did in bfb7 may have failed, but it was really smart and creative. im surprised they havent used this technique more

there isnt much to say about structure, except that it helps make the mechanical minds capable of computation and internet access

in terms of sentience, thats where im not so sure. on one hand, you can make your own logical choices and do what you think is best, but on the other hand, your emotions can make you do irrational things? so i guess it cancels out..

overview but in general, i think there arent that many perks to being mechanical. the closer mechanical minds come to emulating non-mechanic behaviour, the less of a difference there is between the two.

however, despite this seeming non-difference, we still get objects forming dichotomies and opinions about them.

[spootiliousrps]

Suspicious Nature Part 7

[Beginning] // [Previous] // [Next]

“Practice.” Eve said softly. “Everyone starts off where you are now. So don’t worry, we’ll get there.” She said softly.

"By Sunday?" Cas asked, obviously doubtful.

“We’ll get there.” Eve encouraged. “If you can learn to fight, then you can learn to walk.” She smiled.

Cas squinted at her still not on the same page. "Doubtful. At least with fighting you have to have a strong stance... this is... this like walking a tightrope with strong wind." He huffed before chuckling. "I'll make you a deal... If I learn to walk in these by Sunday, you let me teach you how to fight." He offered playfully.

Eve’s eyes grew wide. “I’m too old, and too much of an Omega to ever contemplate it.” She whispered.

That made Cas give a snort of amusement. "I was born just as much of an Omega as you, Eve." He pointed out in amusement as he took a shaky step. "And as far as I am concern I've trained older people than you."

Eve smiled. “I just don’t feel comfortable around weapons. I feel better in heeled shoes and dresses.” She said as she held tightly onto Castiel. “You need to be in control. Don’t fear the shoes. Command them. Tell them what you want.”

Castiel glared down at his feet. "I demand you cease your wobbling!" He snapped at them before addressing Eve

"And I the opposite." He admitted. He took another step, this time keeping from tripping at least.

 Eve laughed. “Not like that. When you had to command your men, you changed your posture and the way you stood. “Don’t lead with your heel so much, as you walk, keep your toes on the floor, just for the moment.”

That made absolutely no sense to him as he attempted it. It felt like he was stomping. This was ridiculous and he was becoming annoyed very quickly. "I feel like a horse prancing about like this." He huffed as he kept his posture straight.

  “I know. You’ll get used to it. I promise. I looked awful when I learnt.” Eve promised. “Slide your toes along the floor and then place your heel down.”

The Omega gave an annoyed growl as he complied. He managed a few steps before wobbling and giving another curse. "Why cant I just were my boots. The dress is long enough no one will notice? What if someone decide to try their luck how am I suppose to fight in these?"

  “Hey, I’m just trying to help.” Eve said softly. “You can always take your shoes off, and apparently a kick hurts a lot. But no one will try it on.”

 "Sorry that wasnt directed at you." He sighed. "Just been a rough few days. My feet as dying... do you mind if we take a break?"

  “I understand. Let’s sit you down and take them off. We can talk cutlery and dinner manners.” Eve said, helping John to sit on the bed.

 "Thank you." Cas sighed in relief doing his best to try and reach his feet over the bulk of the dress and giving another growl of frustration when he failed.

 Eve smiles and knelt down, taking his shoes off gently. “Shall we take your dress off as well so we don’t crease it?” She offered, patiently.

 "Yes, please." Cas rushed in relief already beginning to try and get it off.

Eve chuckled and help Castiel to unfasten the dress. “It is very pretty, it suits you well.” She said softly as she hung it up in his wardrobe. “You’re lucky you have all these clothes made for you.”

Cas pursed his lips as he considered his reply. "Thank you." He mumbled far more softly as he moved to dress in his regular attire. "I only wish I had a say in any of it." He admitted as he tugged on his trousers.

“We generally don’t, Sire.” Eve said softly. “You were lucky to have the opportunity to get the Royal treatment. They are kinder and give you more options.” She said softly. “You could have worn anything within reason and they would have made it.”t

"You say that and yet I was stripped down and marched to my quarters. I wouldn't call that a kindness." He grumbled.

“No Alpha would punish us. Not someone like His Majesty.” Eve said, as he eyes glazed over for a moment before blinking. “He’s a good man, he’s trying his best to not only learn his job, but to care truly for Omegas. His father wasn’t a good man. You are in the unique position to help His Majesty in these areas, if you do this, he’ll break through heaven and hell if you asked.” Eve explained softly.

"All I've asked is for some respect and him to stop threatening my family and yet every time he hears something he remotely doesnt agree with it's always straight to torturing and punishing the only family I have. I would happy to assist it He wasnt such an assbut." He scoffed. "Trying or not he had a cruel streak that reminds me of his father at times. And yes I know just saying that could get me hanged." He sighed. "I just dont care anymore."

Eve sighed. “No Alpha is perfect. Get him somewhere open, not confined in his quarters. Somewhere he likes to be. And speak to him kindly and softly. Offers him something he would like, ply him into a good mood and then explain that you don’t like your family being threatened. If you’re lucky he’ll open up as to why he’s being an... assbut. And then offer to help him work on whatever reasons he gives.” Eve explained softly as she turned back around to face the Omega. “His Majesty is probably still in mourning as well and he’s not being able to process that.”

Castiel hesitated, blinking at her in surprise. He... hadn't really thought about the fact the man might be mourning. Even if he didnt care for his father's actions it was still his father... perhaps he could manage that. "That was... very helpful and wise... thank you Eve."

Eve smiled, “I’m just old, my dear. I’ve been around a long time. Shall we get on with your dining etiquette? If you do well, I’ll listen to more of your thoughts and give you my thoughts.” Eve offered.

"I... would really like that." Cas admitted the tension in his shoulders fading more in that moment then that had since the whole thing began. Honestly... he missed his talks with Gabriel... it would be nice to have someone to talk to now that he was stuck in the kitchens.

Eve nodded as she brought out a set of pristine cutlery with ten sets of knives and forks. “There’s going to be ten course meals on Sundays, each one with their own cutlery.” She explained.

Castiel groaned at the information but he sat up listening carefully as he counter the utensils.

“So all you really need to know is that you use the knives and forks from the outside in. Apart from the soup course and you use the round spoon. Additionally, sometimes you use a second spoon for dessert, but it won’t be out of its not used.” Eve explained as she pointed to each spoon.

"Out in. Got it." He acknowledged. "So, what will I need to know about being an Omega in that situation?" He asked adjusting them slightly.

“So you’ll all arrive for a set time, as you do you’ll take your seat.” Eve started. “Your seat, this week will be at the head table on His Majesty’s right hand side. As you’re the newest Aide. There you’ll give a minute or two speech about your credentials and what you’re planning on achieving in the role. His Majesty May have already spoken to you about what he’s wanting from the military.” Eve explained. “Five minutes after the arrival time the King will enter. Everyone will rise, and salute him. Once he sits, the Alphas will, and then you as an Omega. I believe His Majesty is planning on overturning this rule so you’ll seat when the Alphas do. But as far as I’m aware he hasn’t done this yet.”

"Good to know. I suppose I will have to wait until he does." He acknowledged. "It will be upsetting to most of the Alphas that an Omega is becoming an Aide but I would like to keep it to a minimum." He sighed.

Eve nodded, “You’re the first in history, so there will be backlash. But you are paving a way for everyone other Omega. I will help you as much as you can, and so will His Majesty. The King wants you to succeed, that’s why he was giving you all that help at the beginning.” She explained. “Don’t throw the help away for the sake of vanity.”

Castiel scoffed at that. "Vanity? If only..." He sighed. "I had appreciated the help... it wasnt that... But tell me Eve... if he makes it a point to provide me with more than a typical Alpha, would that not be special treatment?" He asked. "If I gain these things when Alphas do not, it become more than just help it becomes priviledge and I become the favorite Omega who slept his way to the top even if it is untrue. By refusing the help I am nothing more than an equal. Yes it will be far more difficult... yes it will be dangerous but then no one can argue than an Omega /earned/ their place rather than being handed it.... That we are worth it. Thay we /can/ do it. This isnt just about me... or my vanity. It's about all of us. I dont want to be given anything that would make my job harder in the long run... including favoritism."

Eve sighed, “Sire, I cannot tell you what do to, but I would take the help. Everyone would believe I am the favourite anyway, because of the job I hold, the job proves favouritism enough, people will believe I slept my way to the position I hold, so I would take the help. It could be dangerous, like you said, so I would want anything that will make it easier, even just for one day.” Eve explained. “His Majesty wouldn’t want the reputation that every Omega he sleeps with to get a high level job, so he would dispel the rumours, anyway. I would take the help and at least go to sleep feeling safe.” Eve explained, placing the cutlery set to one side and gently taking his hand.

"Perhaps." Castiel sighed, considering it. Even if he didnt agree with the woman she did have some valid points. He gave her hand a small squeeze in return. "I could also kill any Alpha that tries anhthing." He offered. "Eventually they'd get the picture and leave me be." He shrugged knowing that's not really how that works.

Eve chuckled. “That’s if you don’t get thrown in prison first.” She smiled warmly.

"Maybe." He shrugged. "I don't know Eve... there is a lot of ifs and maybes...  To be honest... I just miss home... not that there is a home to go back to after this." He sighed, glancing away, eyes sadder than they had been just a moment before.

“Why don’t you tell me about home?” Eve suggested. “We can try and make this room more homely if you wanted?”

Cas snorted at that, offering her a warm smile that made the still healing lip burn a bit. "That is very sweet but I doubt it would be manageable." He mused. "This room... it's too large and lavish. In the barracks all I had was a simple cot, the things I needed to care for my armor and a small wardrobe for my clothes. But honestly it's the people I miss... My men... the ones that were always there, always giving counsel or laughing in the next room." He gave a small sad sigh. "His Majesty has reassured me I can visit when I become Aide but... unless it's for business I dont believe that is a good idea. I have no doubt made most of them very angry and would not want to cause any more trouble than necessary. Still... it has only been a few days and I miss them terribly... And worst of all Gabriel isnt even here to help... His Majesty obviously despises him and after so many threats I wouldnt dare visit him... but I do worry about him."

“My sister works in the kitchens. She is as old as me. I’m sure she can swing it with the chef to let her look out for Gabriel, or many even train him.” Eve offered. “I’m sure His Majesty has a good reason for not liking Gabriel, he won’t despise someone for no reason.” She smiled. “Talk to His Majesty. Let him open up to you. He’s just as lonely and new to the job as you are. You two can help each other if you just try.”

"Oh... I wouldnt want her to bother herself.... Gabriel is quite a handful." He admitted softly. "Though it would put my mind at ease." He admitted softly, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Obviously side stepping her words regarding the King. "You are very kind Eve... Thank you." He sighed. "It shouldnt be as rare as it is in the world but it is." He smiled at her.

“It shouldn’t, but if you work hard it won’t be rare ever again. Maybe even one day, your great great grandkids might see an Omega Queen in charge.” Eve said wistfully. “Come on, let have another try in your shoes and then I’ll leave you to rest.” She said softly.

Cas chuckled at that. “Yeah… Maybe.” He mused before his smile faded and he gave a childish groan before moving back towards the bed to put the torture devices back on his feet.

“Come on, I’m sure the last thing you want to do is walk into a room of stuffy old Alphas and look weak or even trip and fall.” Eve chuckled, as she helped Castiel to put the shoes back on.

“You’re right but I still don’t see why I can’t just wear my boots.” He huffed as he strapped them on and stood with a bit more confidence than before.  

“Because you need to prove that no matter what they do to you, you are better and will overcome it, and do their jobs ten times better.” Eve smiled, trying to instil confidence into Castiel.

The Omega shot her a side glare with no real heat, hiding a small smirk. “Must you always be right?” He teased lightly. “Its infuriating.” He chuckled as he tried to take a step forward. They really were painful.

“I’m old. When you’re my age, you’ll always be right too.” Eve smiled warmly. “Stop putting so much weight on your heels, try just walking on your tiptoes.”

Cas’ smile faded but he tried to comply, wobbling as he did so. He was certain he looked like an idiot but he did as he was told and slid his feet forward one at a time.

“That’s it. You’re doing so well. At least you’re doing this without me holding you.” Eve smiled. “No one is perfect straight away. It takes practice. I’m sure used to tell the new soliders that all the time.”

“Yes… though I feel a bit childish hearing it told to me at this age.” He mused as he waddled across the room, only almost falling twice.

“And you were trying to get to teach me to use a sword.” Eve smiled. “I’m proud of what you’ve done today. You’ve come so far is such a small amount of time. You’re a quick learning.”

“Well, I certainly try.” He offered, gaze still on his feet as he continued his treck. “I don’t think I’ll ever take for granted the Omegas who wear these.” He admitted softly.

“And here you were wanting to get away from your Omega side.” Eve smiled. “Is there anything you want to ask me about being an Omega? I don’t want you to be confused about anything.”

Cas paused considering it a moment. “I…” He began flushing deeply. “Apparently I am having a bit of issue hiding my scent. Is there something I can do?” He asked, as he moved to sink down with another sigh, feet already aching.

Eve sighed. “Share you heat. You’ve been so long without a heat, I believe your body may have... almost regressed back to a prepubescent stage. You’ve just come off the suppressants, so now your body is a teenager who has presented for the first time. It can’t control your scent or anything else related. Usually it settles down when an Omega shares a heat with an Alpha.” Eve explained softly. “That’s my best guess but I’ve never met anyone who has used suppressants before. “Your heat may be... strong as well. I know that whilst pregnant, an Omega doesn’t have heat, and after the nine months, it’s as if... the heats have built up, and is released all at once. At may be the same for you.” Eve explained. “So speak with an Alpha now, explain this and ask for their assistance. It will help ease the... desperation.”

Cas wrinkled his nose at that. “I think I rather be locked in a cage and forgotten.” He grumbled softly. “I don’t detest the idea of laying with an Alpha.” He clarified quickly, realizing how it sounded. “Its just… I don’t trust any of them in that aspect. Alphas are fine men in general outside of the bedroom but they’re aggressive sadistic beasts the moment the scent weakness.” He stated flatly as if he believed that that was the case without exception. “They want nothing more than to take what they desire by any means and leave their Omega as they please.” He gave another sigh, deflating a bit. “I suppose I’ll just have to figure out another way.” He mumbled already deep in thought, not realizing how serious his words had been.

“Castiel...” Eve said softly. “Make a deal with an Alpha. They can lay with you, but not knot you. Talk through what you want and don’t want. I promise if by the end of your heat, your scent will get worse and you’ll be in so much more pain. Don’t do that to yourself, just for unfounded stubbornness.” Eve said softly, taking his hands. “You’ll understand why I’m saying this if you trust me.”

Cas glanced at her evenly. “Unfounded?” He scoffed. “I might not have lain with an Alpha in some time but I’ve been with enough to know that nothing about it is ‘Unfounded’. And I would still need to find one that I could trust their word which at the moment is zero.” He sighed. “Maybe Surges…” He contemplated.

“He has a job that will take up too much time. You need someone who is their own boss.” Eve explained. “You are going to be in heat for the majority of the day and night.”

“Well, if he is assigned to me again then his only job would be to be with me.” He contemplated. “But that would imply I’d actually spend a heat with an Alpha.” He pointed out. “I have a lot to consider but I’m not sure of any of it.”

“Well you have my opinion, and...” Eve thought for a moment, “even if it’s not true, you can phrase it as it being you giving the Alpha your heat, and as such you can ask for something in return from them. Just... don’t throw the ideas away.” She hummed softly.

“Honestly Eve, I value your opinion to much to throw any of them away. Even if I don’t like them.” He teased lightly. “Can I take these off now?” He asked perhaps a bit too quickly.

Eve nodded, “but I want you to try walking around the room a few times today. I’ll be back tomorrow and I want to see you do it without help and without falling.” She smiled.

“I will do my best.” He offered returning her smile, very thankful for her presence suddenly.

Eve smiled and tentatively opened her arms. “I know you will. You’re a good man.” She said softly.

He hesitated before moving into her embrace which only made him miss his brother, the only other person he really hugged.

“You’ll do well. Just don’t try to do it alone. People want to help, allow them.” Eve said, before pulling back.

“I will do my best but if the cost is too great then I have to refuse.” He sighed, straightening as well.

“I know but you have to try. For all of us, you have to succeed or it will only get worse for us.” Eve said softly. “I’ve seen too much progress to watch it regress.”

“I can only promise to do my best.” He reassured. “I am just a man, though it seems like there are a lot of people who think otherwise.”

“We are all so desperate to show we can be equals. And you have the opportunity. Our dreams are to have the opportunity you have. But I will help any way I can.” Eve promised.

“I know… I hope to make the dream a reality.” He acknowledged. “But I am will still make some mistakes. I hope you can forgive me when I do.”

“We will. And I hope you’ll call on me if you need any advice.” Eve said softly. “I want to help you through this.”

“Speaking of which…” He mumbled softly. “How attached are you to your position?” He asked. “When I become Aide its my understanding that I can choose a number of advisors to assist in a great number of things. From what I’ve gathered most Aides choose military advisors but I feel as if I can manage that bit.” He admitted with a small chuckle. “Its etiquette I’m pretty worried about.”

“I’m too old to keep up with the young ones, but I don’t want to retire. It would be my honor to be your assistant, Sire.” Eve said bowing as low as she could with a fist over her heart.

Castiel’s grin broadened as he returned the salute with a shallow bow. “I hope you know what you’re getting into… It’s not going to be easy being an Omega assistant with the first Omega Aide.” He pointed out. “Could be dangerous… You sure you don’t want those sword lessons?” He teased playfully.

“I trust you’ll protect me, Sire.” Eve smiled. “Plus who would want to try it on with me? I’m old and saggy.”

The words caught Castiel of guard and it took a moment for him to realize what she had said before he burst into laughter.

Eve smiled and chuckled softly. “I’ll meet with you tomorrow at the same time. I want you walking around the room on your own.” She smiled, “and talk to a handsome, free Alpha about your heat. As your assistant, this is what I’m telling you to do.”

Cas shot her another glare still without any heat behind it. “Pushing me already I see.” He teased but nodded. “I’ll do my best.”

“It’s for the best.” Eve smiled before leaving the room and Castiel in silence.

Castiel watched her go, feeling a bit better with the world around him. She was right… about so many things but perhaps he should address one thing at a time… He glanced at the shoes, toss haphazardly to the side… One thing at a time… just not /that/. He ignored them before turning to his desk and beginning to try and find the words to address the King.

To his Most Excellent Majesty Dean Winchester, King of Shurley

May it please your Majesty,

 To permit an unworthy, but loyal subject to approach your Majesty's throne in this manner, as tradition will not let me do it in any other.

I would like to humbly, formally request and audience with his Majesty, The King. It has come to my attention that there are a few subjects which may need to be discussed. While this is not a formal matter, which is a bit unorthodox, I feel that there is many misunderstandings that could be clarified with a simple civilized discussion; outside the confines of the castle and its inhabitants.

Perhaps if the King could find it in his good graces to spare a bit of time, an inspection of the new Knight Commander could be arranged with his Aide to be? I am certain the time it takes to stroll from the Castle to the barracks could be plenty enough for such discussion.

I request this and nothing more, I assure His Majesty. I am settling quite well into my position and feel as if everything that has been provided is more than adequate to meet the needs of a new Royal Aide.

May your most gracious Majesty take these matters into due consideration, and may you be inspir'd by the King of Kings to do that which is right in his sight. I wish long life and happiness to your Majesty, and am,

 Your Majesty's most Faithful and obedient Castiel Novak, Former Knight Commander.

 Dean read the letter a few time, digesting and dissecting the words slowly. It was never something he would have expected to read, especially from Castiel of all people. He picked up his quill and a clean piece of parchment: Dearest Aide Novak, Nothing would please me more than to dispel the air between us. I fear that the future will is close together, professionally. If you are able, please meet myself by the main entrance after supper, today. I am positive that the cool air will aide in our civilised discussion. Your ever faithful King, King Dean Winchester. Dean wrote in his elegant cursive handwriting he was forced to learn when he was a child.

Castiel was on his way to the library when the messenger presented him with the letter. He mumbled a quick thank you before breaking the seal and beginning to read the words carefully. He sighed a breath of relief when the words seemed to be accepting rather than patronizing and aggressive. Now all he needed to figure out is what he would wear to inspect the newly promoted men.

That evening, Dean headed out of his chambers, ordering the guard to stay behind. He had a short dagger strapped to his waist and a sword hanging on the other side. He waited by the double front doors, looking around for Castiel.

It didn’t take long for Castiel to appear, dressed in his social formal Alpha clothing from his previous rank. He would have preferred something more fitting but he wasn’t quite comfortable dressing as an Aide without the title, quite yet and the clothing Celeste had made for him was long gone. Regardless he approached the King, giving a low sweeping bow per usual. Though he hid it well enough his own weapons could be made out against the line of his waist and his boots if one looked close enough.

“Your Majesty.” He greeted. “Thank you for the quick response and the opportunity for counsel.”

“Of course.” Dean said softly, as he counted the numerous weapons on his person. “It read that you had something particular to speak about. Is there anything particular on your mind.”

 "Well... Yes. I suppose there is." Cas acknowledged before motioning towards the hall. "Shall we walk?"

Dean nodded and held his arm open, to allow Castiel to go first. “Is there anything I can do to ease your transition? I’ve heard that you’ve enjoyed your session with your elocutionist, so much that you’ve appointed her as your assistant.” Dean hummed softly.

 Castiel nodded and began to walk, keeping his eyes ahaed as he listened. "Yes, in the short amount of time I spoke to her she showed quite a bit of wisdom. I am also not so vain to ignore my weaknesses, the largest being etiquette as you have seen first hand." He admitted. "She actually advised I speak with you about matters at hand."

 Dean opened his arms, “I am all ears, Novak.” He said as he watched Castiel closely. “This is something causing you some distress. Wouldn’t you prefer to do this somewhere, away from any prying eyes and ears?” He offered, wanting Castiel to be comfortable for whatever matter he is about to raise.

 "If I may speak freely, Sire?" He asked carefully, finally glancing at him, looking a bit worried.

 “Of course Novak, this is clearly eating you up inside.” Dean said softly, wanting to reach out and take Castiel’s hand to calm the Omega but knew better than to try it.

 "To be honest, Sire... I was hesitant to be alone with you. Our... record for such things is not very pleasant." He pointed out. "But I hope to rectify that. I believe it is a simple case of misunderstanding. Perhaps we are not seeing things from each other's sides."

 Dean nodded. “May I just say that, what I was giving you, I didn’t see as help to make you more than equals to your Aide counterparts. I can only imagine how hard all this is for you, I merely wanted to help you onto the same footing as the other Aides.” Dean explained. “A lot of them had been training for the position for years, I thought I was helping by giving you the education and privileges that they had acquired over the years.” He explained, his eyes soft and gentle as he looked over to Castiel. “Please forgive my ignorance, Novak.”

 Castiel seemed to soften a bit at that, shoulders seeming slightly less tense than before. “I… Know.” He acknowledged softly. “There is no reason to apologize for that. I realize that you were only trying to help, Dean. I meant no disrespect when I refused everything you were trying to give. I only ask that you see it from my point of view as well… Having these things would help tremendously but at what cost. As an Omega next to the King; you could be accused of favoritism and I would be given privilege. Neither of which we can really afford if we are to accomplish what we are attempting. Every Omega Aide that comes after me would expect the same treatments while the Alpha’s are not receiving it. That cannot be allowed.” He offered as they continued on. “I must learn on my own unfortunately. Though I do want to express my gratitude for your willingness to assist. It is appreciated.” He acknowledged, forcing a small smile towards the man.  

Dean smiled and nodded. “As you wish, though I do hope you’d come to me if you need anything. Anything at all. Especially with something such as Singer. I know you may have thought my actions childish, but when there is a man who has been set in the rules and etiquette and procedures for as long as him, sometimes the only possible way to make him listen is to shout and be loud and break etiquette.” Dean explained, softly. He gave Castiel a soft smile, “how about... a deal, I won’t threaten your family, if you come to me when you need a King’s input?” He offered gently, guessing that Castiel would turn down the offer.

The Omega consider it for a moment, considering his options. “To be honest, Sire. After the night previously… I didn’t expect you would believe me, or care for that matter.” He admitted. “Your reaction was quite the surprise.” He sighed. “I couldn’t exactly run to you and plead when my brother could be harmed for it.” He added before giving another tension draining sigh. “I suppose I can ignore my doubts and approach you when necessary.” He acknowledged. “Someone had suggested that you may be handling your new role… not quite as easily as you let on as well.” He added, turning to eye the man. “Perhaps we should discuss you’re ascension as well? Is there anything I can aide you with? That is why you brought me here afterall, isn’t it?”

Dean smiled softly, as he looked over to Castiel. “All I could ever ask of you is to grow into your role quickly, which I know you’ll do.” He said softly. “But if you are offering, my role is... quite lonely, if you know of anyone that could lead a supportive ear, one who is cleared to hear about aspects of my role, that normal men cannot hear, then I would be grateful if you gave me their names.” Dean said, his voice growing quieter, as he looked around

Cas paused taking a moment to appreciate the evening air as they entered the courtyard just outside the palace. He was thankful that most of the servants were tending to either their families or the supper clean up duties. He turned to face the King. “Your Majesty, I realize that I have come off a bit… aggressively during our first few meetings. I had no intentions of such things. I’ve asked your forgiveness once, though perhaps a bit superficially, so I will ask it again. Please, forgive me. I suppose it is a defense mechanism after posing as an Alpha for so long. I hope to change it though it may take time. That being said, I would be honored to listen to your problems, concerns… opinions as a man, rather than a King. I assure, this time I will not address them so poorly.”

Dean nodded, he tried to keep a calm expression but the relief in his eyes and the tension lifting from his shoulders gave him away. “Thank you Novak, I... it means a lot that you would offered your services.” He said with a genuine smile, aimed at the Omega. “Though, to ask you of this task and not give you something of equal enormity and as personal seems... unfair. I understand you don’t want to be seen as a favourite, but I do hope to return the favour.” Dean explained.

“I am no so sure, Sire.” Castiel countered. “Last time I attempted it my brother was threaten. If I do so again, I suppose I should be so lucky not have a pet or he would be as well.” He added, the only indication that the words were meant as a joke was the small upturn of his mouth and the amusement that shown in his gaze.

“Your brother shall never come into harms away, again. Unless he puts himself there.” Dean said with a small smile. “If you would like a pet to make your room more homely, all I ask is that you don’t get a dog, I fear they don’t like me to well.” Dean explained.

Cas gave a small chuckle at that. “A pet is a lot of responsibility. I think I have my hands full enough with Gabriel.” He replied as they started walking once more; the Omega grateful for the small breeze that allowed the relieved scent he was no doubt exuding to dissipate. His smile faded slightly as he considered the last few weeks, however. “If we are discussing these issues freely, Sire. I hope it is not too much to ask how you are handling your Father’s passing? I know your relationship may not have been the greatest but a father is still a father.”

 It was Dean’s turn to stop walking and looked down to the floor. “This is still too public for me to speak ill of the dead.” He said, his voice small and weak. “Many liked him, and if someone overhears me speaking disrespectfully, I fear it won’t help my reputation much.” Dean sighed. “But thank you for the concern.” He looked up at Castiel, sadness filled his eyes.

 Castiel's brows furrowed, his own gaze saddened as he saw Dean for what he truly was for perhaps the first time: A man who was both confused and saddened by the loss of his father. Castiel wanted to reach for him, to comfort him... which was an odd feeling. "Of course... My apologies, I should have realized the inappropriate location." He acknowledged, feeling guilty while also a but relieved of Dean's subtle reaction. "Perhaps if the inspection goes well, we may have a bit of time to discuss matters more privately?" He offered.

 Dean nodded and looked to the sky to calm him emotions before looking back to Castiel. “Only if you wish to spend the time with me. I do not wish to force you.” He said softly, continuing their walk.

 "I suppose, to find out if you are good to your word... I would have to." He offered. "Since you assured me no more threats on my family." He added. "Eventually, perhaps we will earn one another's trust." He shrugged. "I'd say that's a good start at least."

 Dean nodded. “I do trust you, I just don’t appreciate some of the ways you speak to me.” He explained. “I trust your consul or I wouldn’t have made you an Aide.”

 Castiel chuckled at that. "I suppose you have a great number of reasons to feel that way. I suppose I am not very... charismatic in tone." He admitted with a sigh. "It had gotten me in quite a few arguement with King John, may he rest in peace." He admitted.

 “He can rest.” Dean mumbled. “We’ll work on it together.” He offered. “I’ll learn to understand what you’re trying to say and not become so defensive so easily.” He suggested. “Was there anything else you’d like to speak about? How are you settling into your room?” He asked.

 "Fairly well, all things considered." He admitted, thankful for the change in subject. "Its a bit too lavish for my tastes but I suppose I will get use to it. I would like, with your permission to have some of the furniture removed. I lived a fairly simplistic life until now and I am not quite sure what half of the pieces are meant to do." He admitted a bit embarrassed but the fact.

 “I’m sure your elocutionist can explain and show you. Or if you’d prefer, I can.” Dean offered. “Then you can choose whether you want to keep it or not.”

 "I am certain Eve will be most pleased to give me the full history of each." He mused. "I would not want to take up too much of your time, Sire." He offered. "It is just furniture."

 Dean hummed, “is there anything else you’d like to speak to me about? Anything personal or professional, I don’t mind.” He offered softly. “If you are to listen to my troubles then I’m happy to listen to yours.”

 "Well, perhaps... professional." He admitted. "Eve mentioned it is customary that Omegas sit last at meals such as the one Sunday. She had mentioned you were planning to change this but that it has not happened. I simply wanted to make sure this was the case and it would change?"

 “It is, it’s in motion.” Dean promised. “But my work is backdated four years, and at the moment, I need to deal with the older work first, as well as anything pertaining to my security in the job.” Dean sighed. “I’ll nudge it up the order, so it’ll be passed for the following Sunday.” Dean promised.

 "Of course, Sire. There is no rush. I cannot pretend to know what Omegas have gone through, sitting last for one meal is nothing to complain about comparatively." He offered with a small bow. "Though perhaps, if you allow me to examine some of the precautions you are taking for your own security I can assist in that area? I realize I may not be an Aide yet but my experience allows me some insight in the subject."

 Dean shook his head. “It is the legal side of it all. So no one can claim I ascended illegally. So Sammy can’t force me to abdicate. But thank you for offering Novak, it means a lot that you want to help.” Dean explained. “Plus, I need to find new Aides. My father made them all swear an oath to him rather than the chair. The ones that haven’t retired, are still in the job out of the kindness of their hearts.” Dean sighed. “And the longer I make them wait to retire, the more restless they grow.” He sighed, forgetting himself and his surroundings

 Castiel nodded as he listened, knowing the way to the barracks by heart. “I see.” He mumbled softly. “How many would you prefer to have, Sire?” He asked curiously. “Have you given much thought to your brother?” He added remembering the mention of the younger Winchester when they had first interacted with one another. “If I may, Your Majesty, I still feel as if he would make a wonderful Advisor or Aide. It may not be traditional but… neither is an Omega. Perhaps he would be interested in the position... Though I do realize he has a different profession currently.”

[Beginning] // [Previous] // [Next]

[allofthemliches]

Nott’s backstory relating to tonight’s events

this is just the stuff I’ve remembered, so if I missed stuff please add on.

C2E8 - (”Nott, how old are you?”) “We don’t celebrate birthdays, it’s hard for me to know exactly...I’m of child bearing age.”

Nott didn’t talk a lot about goblin life or her part in it, but here she talks about the culture surrounding aging and birthdays. It’s been said before, but it’s interesting that she specifically notes child bearing

C2E19 - “For as long as I’ve been alive I haven’t really felt comfortable in their--in my skin.” 

Two things of interest here: “been alive” is an odd way to phrase this, and the use of “their” initially could just mean a perceived psychological difference, or could indicate that Nott wasn’t always a goblin

C2E19 - “I was kind to him...I became friends with him. He was nice...we left together.” (”Did you love him?”) “I don’t know. He taught me his language...we ran off in separate directions and I’ve been running ever since.”

First time she brought up Yeza. Assuming she’s telling the truth here, she makes it seem like they didn’t know each other before meeting when he had been captured. She also makes it seem like she was ignorant of halfling culture; Yeza had to teach her the language. No timeline on this, but Nott says she’s been “running ever since,” which could be taken a couple of ways. She does imply she isn’t sure if he got away or not. 

This makes tonight’s big reveals all the more interesting, since Nott is claiming Luke as her son; the timeline doesn’t add up. Nott is a full-grown goblin at least, placing her around 8, and Luke was said to be around 5. He does, however, have knowledge of his mother, which would mean Nott would have had to be around from his birth to at least age 3 to be his birth mother. 

Goblins and halflings also cannot produce children without magical means, which I think they would have been unlikely to find in such a small village. It’s possible Yeza brewed some kind of potion for it, but to what end? Why would they want a child with all the trouble their relationship would already bring?

C2E41 - (”What was your first kiss like?”) “It wasn’t as romantic, it was just a dare...[we were] pretty young, just kids, ‘you kiss her, now you kiss him’ kind of thing...I don’t remember his name.” (”Do you remember the ‘softness of his lips?’) *softly* “I do, yes. It was a good day.”

Taking everything here with a grain of salt, since Nott tried to lie about it initially. I think her not remembering his name is untrue. However, note that this doesn’t sound like typical goblin routine: playing spin-the-bottle games? Daring each other to kiss? None of this sounds remotely like the goblin life Nott has described in the past.

SO. Time to align the facts and present theories.

1) Nott was born a halfling. I’ve seen this one a lot tonight, in various forms: it is possible Nott was previously a halfling who, one way or another, was turned into a goblin. I’ve seen it said that she died and was reincarnated, or was brought back using the “beacon.” This one has a few points to its credit, namely Nott’s reluctance to associate herself with goblins and goblin culture, her ignorance of her own age and description of childhood games, and her claiming Luke as her own son. On the other side, we have her descriptions of meeting Yeza late in the game and learning halfling from him, which she would already know if she had been raised a halfling, the timeline surrounding this meeting/Nott’s running/Luke’s birth, and the improbability of her being somehow transformed into a goblin.

2) Nott is impersonating Luke’s mother Veth. This one is SUPER interesting and I’ve seen it a few times tonight as well. In my mind, it’s more likely than the first theory for a few reasons: firstly, it would correct the timeline. Nott isn’t his biological mother, so she wouldn’t have given birth to him and he would know her if she wore Veth’s face. Secondly, when Sam asked if Nott knew Edith, Matt said “You know of Edith,” but Edith recognized Veth’s face when she came to the door. Edith said “I thought you were dead,” Luke said “Daddy said the goblins killed you” and “I got presents but [Daddy] just says they’re from somebody.” This all points to the theory that Veth was killed by Nott’s clan, and now Nott is wearing her face. Why hide who the presents are from if she’s his real mom? Even though she’s away, it wouldn’t make sense to tell her son she’s dead if she weren’t.

Downsides: none of this explains her obvious love for Luke; Nott is terrible at lying, and looked way too sincere to have been faking caring for this little dude. When would she have met him and gotten to know him? For that matter, when would she have gotten a good look at and recognized Veth enough to copy her appearance? It’s possible that Nott snuck away to Felderwin during the time she was friends with Yeza and saw them both, I suppose, but it seems thin.

There are other small things that don’t fit: Nott could have been born something other than a goblin or a halfling, but how/why was she transformed? How did she get so close to Yeza and his family over the course of his, max, year-long imprisonment? What makes Nott so different from the other goblins?

[themythicalsecret]

Big rhink analysis

Rhett got SO SURPRISED when Link started to lick him.. he wasnt expecting it.. even though I think they probably thought about it when they had the idea for the show like “we probably have to do it to each other”.. I think its just expected at this point and they know it.. but I genuinely think that Rhett was not expecting Link to do it to him at that point, at that moment.. he just kept staring at the monitor like he always does.. 

but then Rhett says “we dont like that” trying a little bit to make it less harsh to Links advance saying in a way that it was also Barbara and not just him that didnt enjoy it.. for the first time his cheeks didnt puff at all..

Link immediately goes back to licking Barbara in the same movement when Rhett says that..

and Rhett looks a bit sad, I like to believe that its because he imagined and wanted them to do it together to each other, so my guess is that he feels disappointed that he probably wont have a chance to do it to Link now because it wouldnt make sense if they are not doing it at the same time considering Barbara is the only dog there..

and when Link goes to sit down, he is already sad.. he has this sad look on his face..

Link tries to make light talking to Rhett.. putting the thing upside down and licking Barbara again.. but then Rhett pulls Barbara away turning the chair and Link looks sad again..

then he looks even more sad.. he shrinks his body..

then he voices that he is depressed again.. he doesnt say sad.. he says depressed, that is even more serious..

he says that it is because of the menstruation talk and “after this thing” reffering to the object.. but why would that object make him sad? it was a fun object that makes you bond with an animal in this case, Barbara a dog that he likes.. what made him sad was the fact that he licked Rhett, he finally let his thirst get the better out of him and Rhett shut him down.. Rhett said that he didnt like it.. Link was clearly expecting a Rhettish reaction of getting excited, looking at the monitor, nervous stumbling on his words not knowing how to act and what to say, licking his lips and certainly puffy cheeks.. but Link didnt get that.. so he said that he felt kinda down.. he kept looking at the object, tapping it on the table, like his plan failed.. Link tries to make sense of his sadness “I dont know why exactly, its not rational” at this point Rhett starts to turn around

Link looks at Rhett being so affectionate with Barbara and so Link says in a whispery voice “I wish my dog was here..” but its not his dog’s affection that he is missing, it’s Rhetts affection.. the lack of Rhett’s affection is getting to him, not only to the failed reaction to the licking, also because this entire time Link is expressing his sadness and Rhett is paying zero attention to him, all of Rhetts affection and attention is towards Barbara.. its been a while since Link felt this way, it goes back to Kasts days where Rhett was so dismissive of him..

Rhett is not paying attention at all so he then says “she is so compliant” about Barbara.. and looks Link in the eyes..

to which Link responds “well, I think that’s why you like her” and he pauses.. thinks.. gets very sad and says “you need somebody in your life like that” notice that he said SOMEBODY.. which I think he was thinking about him and their relationship, he probably had the previous moments in mind..

the licking game they did before that, where Rhett was displeased with Link saying he washed his trash can and was so fast to say he was glad they didnt live together.. and how Rhett criticized Link also on the cleaning the remote, computer, all of his traits that makes Link who he is.. and how Link was kinda happy to tell how they thought they were so close they had bad moods at the same time almost like in a menstrual sync and Rhett was just dismissing the story, which to Link was interesting and a great sign of their bond.. somehow today Link let all that get the better out of him.. so in his head Rhett needed somebody who wouldnt get on his nerves so much, who isnt high maintenance and who just complies.. Link starts to whisper his goodbyes and mentions how he is going to see the horse’s mustaches “on his own time” because its said to cheer someone up.. he says he will leave the licking thing there because he doesnt know what he could do with it, clearly in a reference of his failed attempt with Rhett, there was no reason to keep the thing for “after the show” on their own time, like they usually say they will do on episodes like that, because Rhett had shut him down already..  then Link walks out, which he havent done in a while.. still trying to get Rhetts attention, but Rhett just talks to Barbara..

I hope that after the show they talked and Rhett explained he was sad that they didnt get a chance to use the licking thing to each other so Link gets all happy again..

[oumakokichi]

could you explain ouma's opinion on kiibo? correct me if im wrong, but ouma doesnt see kiibo as a person, and i couldnt help but have something cross my mind.. what if ouma used kiibo as the sacrifice rather than gonta? could you explain why this isnt possible or why ouma wouldnt/didnt do this? ouma values all lives of course, but do you think it would have inflicted him less to manipulate someone he doesnt consider human (plus knowing kiibos true purpose) sorry if i already sent this question

Ouma suspected that Kiibo wasconnected to the ndrv3 audience in some way, and thought of Kiibo as “strange/weird”according to his whiteboard, where he singled his picture out in a differentway from how he singled out Saihara’s picture. He knew that it was strange fora robot to be involved in the killing game at all, moreso with the whole “lastsurvivors of humanity” scenario which the remember lights were trying to forcethem to believe—after all, why would a robot be put onboard a ship meant forthe last survivors of humanity to sustain the human race?

Given all the incongruities,both about Kiibo’s backstory and his talent, Ouma was suspicious of him, and that’swhy he’s particularly hard on him sometimes. He teased him endlessly aboutbeing a robot and became noticeablybored/fed-up whenever Kiibo would talk about his memories or his past—because Oumahighly suspected those things were fake, even moreso than everyone else’sbackstories.

However, Ouma definitely couldn’tbring himself to think of Kiibo as “not a person.” Not human, perhaps, butevery bit of evidence points to the fact that no matter how hard he tried, hecouldn’t help but think of Kiibo as an individual with his own autonomy, freewill, etc. Things would have been considerably easier for him if he had beenable to think of Kiibo as an object, rather than a person—but that wouldclearly have been a lie, and Ouma knew it. I think a part of him was genuinelyfrustrated that he couldn’t think of Kiibo in those terms, despite the factthat Kiibo was so clearly sketchy, and so obviously involved somehow with theaudience watching the killing game.

Had Ouma really thought ofKiibo as “not a person” then he would’ve had no problems with disabling him orbreaking him so that he couldn’t function as an audience proxy anymore. If he’dreally ever genuinely thought of him as “just a robot” and “not alive,” thenthat wouldn’t have violated his moral code against killing at all, and he mostlikely would have done so because that would have been the safer option formaking sure no one was spying on them.

He had several opportunities todo this over the course of the game. The electric hammers that he commissionedMiu to make were more than capable of frying Kiibo, if it turns out that shesaw him as a robot rather than a person. They were programmed to work onmachines, not people. When Ouma tells them this in Chapter 5, Kiibo wondersaloud how Miu perceived him, and almost considers asking someone to try out oneof the hammers on him, but Ouma cheekily tells him that if it turns out she sawhim as a machine, then those hammers would fry his circuits pretty badly.

Given Ouma’s possession of thehammers, the remote control capable of hijacking electronic devices, and theelectric bombs capable of jamming signals, he could easily have broken Kiiboany time he wanted to. The fact that he didn’t do this despite all his teasingabout Kiibo being “just a robot” is pretty solid proof that he couldn’tactually bring himself to think like that, no matter how much it might havesimplified matters. He was suspicious of him, and Kiibo had obvious ties to theoutside world in some way or other, but he was also very obviously strugglingto become his own person, and that was something I think Ouma couldn’t help butrespect, no matter how much he wouldn’t admit to it.

The reason he didn’t use Kiiboas a sacrifice instead of Gonta is largely because Ouma didn’t go into the VRworld with a specific sacrifice in mind. He knew he would have to counter Miu’splan, and he knew he would need someone else to kill her in his place if hewanted to stay alive, but it’s obvious he didn’t have a specific person in mindat first.

It’s not until he commented aboutgoing outside to start looking around and Gonta volunteered to go with him inorder to protect him that he began talking under his breath, making commentsabout Gonta “being his bodyguard” and saying things like “If it’s Gonta, thenmaybe…” Clearly, up until the moment he knew he and Gonta could be alone whenfinding the remember light, he had no idea who would be the best person to tryand enlist into his plan.

Had Kiibo volunteered to go withhim instead, then there is a slight chance Ouma would have tried the same thingwith him. I believe there are several people he would never have tried toenlist in his plan even if he had had an opportunity to be alone with them.Saihara, for one, because he probably couldn’t have brought himself to do thatto someone he himself admits he was falling in love with. Maki, for another,since even if she watched the remember light, the chances of her cooperatingwith him for any reason were slim to none. And Miu, of course, since she wasthe one who was trying to kill him in the first place.

That meant his options for asacrificial pawn were limited to Gonta, Kiibo, Himiko, Tsumugi, and Momota.Momota is another iffy candidate in my opinion, because like Maki, he and Oumararely saw eye to eye on anything prior to Chapter 5. And the only reasonMomota was willing to cooperate with Ouma to the extent he did in Chapter 5 wasbecause he learned quite a few painful lessons about how wrong the “trusteveryone, don’t doubt your friends” mindset was that he stuck to in Chapter 4.Tsumugi, of course, might have seemed like a possible candidate to Ouma, but wethe players know she would never have gone along with it because she was theringleader. So that leaves just Gonta, Kiibo, and Himiko.

Had either Kiibo or Himiko gonealone with Ouma to find the remember light, then it’s possible he would have had to try and enlist their help. Hedidn’t particularly have a lot of time or options available to him; once theywere in the VR world, he needed to act fast in order to stop Miu’s plan. But nomatter who had gone along with him, I think it still would have pained him.Clearly he did value Kiibo’s life as an individual on the same level as everyoneelse’s; I don’t think there was any option in that scenario that would have “hurthim less” or “hurt him more.” Being forced into a situation where he had tobreak his moral code at all was painful enough.

Not only that, but I’m notentirely sure Kiibo wouldn’t have seen through what he was trying to do had hebeen the one alone with Ouma. Even if he had watched the remember light, it’sdoubtful whether Kiibo would’ve resorted to murder. Suicide, perhaps, becauseeveryone became suicidal and depressed upon knowing “the truth of the outsideworld”—but due both to Kiibo’s own personal belief in maintaining hope in thedarkest of times, as well as the audience input via his “inner voice,” I doubthe would’ve killed anyone.

Kiibo also has quite asurprising knack for understanding Ouma more instinctively than many other membersin the group. By Chapter 5 especially, Kiibo is the only one who sayspoint-blank that he doesn’t think Ouma had any reason to lie on his deathbed.His bonus mode interaction with Ouma shows that while he clearly gets fed upwith Ouma’s teasing and all the “robot discrimination,” he also recognizes itfor what it is: a bratty kid demanding attention. And he grasps the heart ofOuma’s character, too, stating that it’s not about whether Ouma is telling thetruth or lying, because either way, they’re friends and that’s what matters themost.

All of these things suggest tome that despite seeming kind of endearingly clumsy and incapable of reading themood sometimes, Kiibo is someone with a very intuitive knack for catching ontothings. If Saihara was the one who Ouma wanted to “solve” him and understandhim, Kiibo was the one who understood him more intuitively—much to Ouma’sdismay, I’m sure.

My point in the end is thatbecause Kiibo was so clearly a pawn in the grand scheme of things and alsosomeone with his own consciousness, memories, individuality, etc., there’s nodoubt that Ouma saw him as a person, even if he tried to emphasize how much he “wasn’thuman.” The situation was dire enough in Chapter 4 that if push had come toshove and Kiibo had been the most convenient option, Ouma might very well havetried to use him instead of Gonta—but I don’t think that such an option wouldhave hurt his conscience any less. Either way, he clearly thought of it asmurder. If he hadn’t, he would’ve either hijacked, disabled, or broken Kiibo,because doing so would’ve been the safer, colder, and more calculating option.

I hope this helps answer yourquestion, anon! This was a really fun ask, and gave me a lot of things to thinkabout. Thank you for asking!

[writingguide003-blog]

'I completely lost it': the movie scenes that made our writers weep

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/i-completely-lost-it-the-movie-scenes-that-made-our-writers-weep-2/

'I completely lost it': the movie scenes that made our writers weep

From Toy Story 2 to Under the Skin, writers pick the cinematic moments that made them cry and explain why. Spoilers ahead

Aunt Lucys trip, Paddington 2

On the face of it, Paddington is a fairly broad kids film franchise about the hijinks of a CGI bear, and so probably shouldnt make a grown human cry hot, salty tears. But that description ignores the fact that Paddington is a really, really well-made kids film franchise about the hijinks of a CGI bear, one that completely gets the pathos of its central character, a little lost immigrant searching for something resembling a family. Both films ably tug at the heartstrings, but the second film got me sniffling as early as 15 minutes in when Paddington imagines giving his only living relative, Aunt Lucy, a tour around London, something that in reality is impossible as shes stuck thousands of miles away in darkest Peru. When at the end of the film spoiler alert Aunt Lucy arrives on the Brown familys doorstep and she and Paddington hug, I completely, unapologetically lost it. Lord knows what surprises Paddington 3 has planned for my tear ducts. GM

When She Loved Me, Toy Story 2

Just before writing this, I put When She Loved Me from Toy Story 2 on YouTube once again, just to check. Yep. Just as always, I choke up, in the same abject, lip-wobbling, head-bowed way. It still has that terrible power.

When She Loved Me is the song written by Randy Newman and sung by the devastated toy cowgirl Jessie and in fact performed, beautifully, on the soundtrack by Canadian singer Sarah McLachlan. The song is Jessies way of telling Woody why she has grimly decided to submit to the airless world of the toy museum, because it is better than the inevitable heartbreak and delusion of loving a fickle human child. She reveals her anguish that her owner, Emily, has fallen out of love with her outgrown her, in fact. As Emily entered the world of adolescence, pop music and boys, Jessie was left under the bed and finally dumped.

When I first saw this scene and misled by the size disparity between toy and owner I thought it was a parable for a childs anxiety over being abandoned by the parent. But now that I am a parent I can see the truth which is completely the opposite way around. It is about the parents fear of being abandoned by the child: the terrible fear, actually the terrible certainty, that the kid one day wont want to play with you. They will grow up and want something else. This song is utterly devastating. It is modern cinemas equivalent of the Vesti La Giubba aria from Pagliacci the tragic clown smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. Im afraid to watch it too often. I dont want to break down over and over again. But I also want to preserve its power over me. PB

Ruths death, Fried Green Tomatoes

In many respects, Fried Green Tomatoes is not a movie for the modern age. It is a story about racism in the deep south told largely by way of eliciting our sympathies for wealthy white characters; it is a story about a lesbian relationship that had to slide its lesbian relationship in unnoticed, by presenting it as a very close friendship fulfilled by food fights, poker games and heads leaning meaningfully on shoulders. But I am deeply fond of this 1991 Sunday afternoon classic. Ive seen it more times than is healthy, and so I know exactly what is coming and when, and yet am still unable to resist the inevitable guttural sobbing that comes with the death scene.

There are plenty of teasers for it, too: Buddy on the train tracks, even Mrs Threadgoode talking about the death of her adult son. Nothing, however, can prepare the viewer for Ruth asking Idgie to tell her the old story about the frozen lake thats now somewhere over in Georgia. It doesnt so much pull on heartstrings as play a full symphony on them, and its devastating. As Sipsey puts it, a lady always knows when to leave. RN

The rooftop dance, Eat Pray Love

While I was repelled by the mere existence of the Eat Pray Love book, I found something strangely charming about its big-screen translation. It was a mixture of glossy food porn, glossy travel porn and glossy Julia Roberts emoting porn (she remains one of the best fake criers in Hollywood) all wrapped up in a rather unique tale of a woman trying to unshackle herself from the men in her life. But while that all provided mostly surface-level enjoyment, one scene cut deeper and the extent to which it cuts surprises me still.

As is often with the case with movie tears, these were tied to a real-world experience that had happened not long before I sat down to watch. I was dumped by a long-term boyfriend without much of an explanation and without any sort of warning. I was heartbroken and seeking some form of closure that was kept cruelly out of reach. I didnt understand why it had happened and it was the not knowing that felt harder than the break-up itself.

In the film, Roberts character has left her flighty husband and remains haunted by the heartbreak shes caused. On a rooftop in Delhi, a vision of him appears and they dance to Neil Youngs heart-grabbing Harvest Moon, the song that was supposed to accompany their first wedding dance. She reminds him that she did love him. He tells her he still loves and misses her. They cry and continue to dance. At the end, she tells him that it wont last forever, nothing does. Its a short scene but it hit me like a bus, it still does now. My tears are for the film but theyre also for something deeper: the sting of loving someone who stopped loving me and the ache of an ending I was never allowed in real life. BL

The thunderstorm, Click

Adam Sandler can make me cry harder than hes ever made me laugh, the true test of a clown. Yes, even in the underappreciated comedy Click about a dad who finds a magical remote control in the Beyond section of Bed Bath & Beyond.

Sandlers workaholic architect fast-forwards through the worst parts of his day the dull weeknight frozen dinners with his family, the repetitive arguments, the gross times everyone gets knocked out by the flu in order to get to his next promotion so he can buy his kids whatever they want. His plan doesnt go well, of course. But whats shocking is how gut-rippingly painful it is to see Sandler hit play on his life only to realize hes skipped past everything that matters. His bodys been present, the bills have been paid, but his emotional engagements been staticky a trade-off too many of us can understand.

In the climax, old man Sandler sobs in a thunderstorm as he arrives at his daughters wedding only to learn shed rather her stepdad walk her down the aisle, and his son has grown up to mimic his job-first, family-second example. I rarely cry at unavoidable tragedies where no ones at fault. My weakness is characters regretting choices they cant rewind. Click isnt Ingmar Bergman Sandler gets a happy ending but I barely saw his relief through the rainstorm on my face. AN

The courtroom, Kramer vs Kramer

By all accounts, Robert Bentons film Kramer vs Kramer skews heavily toward Dustin Hoffmans Ted, whose wife Joanna has left him and their six-year-old son Billy. Billy and Ted make french toast together, or argue about eating ice cream before dinner, or visit the nearby jungle gym. Were it not for Meryl Streep and the trenchant, intuitive way she humanizes a woman who, in the 70s, would have otherwise been made to seem mawkish and unstable Kramer vs Kramer might be just a schmaltzy panegyric on fatherhood.

But leave it to our greatest living actor to turn a film on its head with a single scene. You know the one: Joanna, during the custody hearing, is subjected to a string of sexist questions about her failure as a wife and a mother. When asked why shes seeking custody of Billy, she blinks three times, beginning the monologue Streep herself wrote in an effort to redeem her character, who she initially perceived to be an ogre, a princess, an ass.

Billys only seven years old. He needs me, she says, reciting the word need with a whispery uptick as she glances at her ex. Im not saying he doesnt need his father. But I really believe he needs me more. After catching her breath, she becomes more emphatic: I was his mommy for five and a half years. Since I was about Billys age when my parents got divorced, ergo, too young to understand or even care, Ive always been astonished and, by proxy, moved by how compassionately Streep plumbs the depths of Joannas truth. JN

The beach, Under the Skin

Little focuses the mind more effectively on human distress than the arrival of your own kids; scenes in films which I might once have snoozed through now induce boggle-eyed terror OH MY GOD, DONT LEAVE THAT BABY NEAR THAT COFFEE TABLE, IT HASNT GOT A CORNER PROTECTOR! But nothing has topped at least, not yet the scene in Under the Skin where Scarlett Johansson murders a swimmer and drags him off to eat him.

Its not the murder thats so epically upsetting, though its gruesome enough: Johansson, playing an alien visitor permanently on the lookout for human nutrients, simply bangs him over the head with a large stone as he lies prone and exhausted on the beach. Its what goes on in the background that is so awful. A woman goes into the water to try and rescue her drowning dog, and her male partner instinctively rushes in after her, leaving their toddler alone high on the shore. Johanssons chum the only other adult on this lonely Scottish beach goes to help too.

With the speed of falling dominoes, a nice little day out unravels: the mother and father are swept away to who knows where, and the alien takes her chance to acquire their would-be rescuer as a food source. Meanwhile, the suddenly abandoned kid is shrieking in terror as the night closes in. Another, less astute film-maker, might cap the scene with the alien scooping the kid up and adding him to her dinner menu, but what Glazer contrives is absolutely horrifying. Johansson-alien simply ignores it, and leaves it alone. The film moves on, this incident consigned to the past.

I have to confess I was absolutely blindsided by the scene; mostly, I think, because of the its sheer unexpectedness. I think I was gripped by a kind of internal hysteria: shock, hyperventilation, a feeling the back of my head might explode. (I cant say I actually cried though I may have, but in the confusion I cant really remember.) I certainly had to hold on to the seat to stop myself bolting out of the cinema then and there. I am aware theres a some degree of self-indulgence here: the fact that my daughter was about the same age as the kid in the film undoubtedly super-sensitised my reactions. But everyone has their weak spot; this is very much mine. AP

The birth, Cheaper by the Dozen 2

Cheaper by the Dozen 2, if you havent seen it you probably havent, why would you have? is the sequel to the remake of family comedy Cheaper by the Dozen, and Im sure it was made because Steve Martin, the star of the franchise, needed to pay his mortgage. The main gist of the movie is that Martin and his wife, played by Bonnie Hunt, have 12 children who get into various japes. Its asinine. But during a time in my life when I was making a lot of transatlantic flights, Cheaper By the Dozen 2 was always an option on the British Airways seatback televisions, and one day I found, because of the frequency of my flights, I had watched all of the other films.

What choice did I have? At the climactic scene, where the oldest daughter, played by Piper Perabo, gives birth, and then names the baby after her father because he has shown her that there is no way to be a perfect parent, but a million ways to be a really good one, I cried so much the man sitting next to me regarded me with what appeared to be real concern. There may have not been enough cocktail napkins on the whole plane to dry my tears. Was it the recycled air? Was it the two miniature bottles of white wine? Or was it that a joyful childbirth scene can warm the cockles of even the coldest of hearts? JHE

The accidental reunion, Manchester by the Sea

Weve got a real talent for repression back in Massachusetts. Kenneth Lonergans searing Manchester by the Sea plays out a 15-minute drive from my childhood home and, true to life, the characters all struggle to articulate the perfect storms of emotion raging within them.

When Lee (Casey Affleck) has a chance encounter with his ex-wife Randi (Michelle Williams), the shared history between them is literally unspeakable. They sputter out fragments of sentences that act as a shorthand for vast reservoirs of guilt and self-loathing they cant bear to express, and because they know one another so intimately, they can intuit all the meaning they have to. Theyve both shoved a lot deep down inside just so they can look at themselves in the mirror, and when in the presence of the only other person on the planet who understands what theyve been through, some of it has to come out. Randi does most of the talking, inviting Lee to lunch so they can get some closure, and he ends the conversation by walking away. Shes ready to face her past and be fully present in the new life shes built for herself. Lee, a North Shore boy born and bred, feels more comfortable starting a bar fight as his form of therapy. CB

The hotel, Unrelated

Joanna Hoggs first film, Unrelated, has had something of a second life on account of being the debut of Tom Hiddleston, and set during a Tuscan summer, which means swimming pool, which means toplessness, and lots of it. Its nice to imagine the Loki-lovers streaming this masterpiece of English upper-middle-class excruciation. As its ending shows, specificity is no barrier to emotional oomph.

The story sees a woman in her early 40s, Anna (Kathryn Worth), holidaying with old friends and their teenage children. She finds she prefers the company of the kids, especially the charming Oakley (Hiddleston, then 26, playing eight years younger). The holiday implodes. Anna goes to stay at a grim airport hotel. Her friend visits, crossly wanting to know whats behind her behaviour. Anna explains that, quite recently, she thought she was pregnant but no, in fact, it was an early menopause. Shell never be able to have children. She sobs and bends double on the bed. It is shot in one take, from the middle distance, acted with a banal frankness which feels like eavesdropping.

When I saw it a decade back, it floored me: a twist I hadnt foreseen, a pain I could only imagine. A few years ago, I began consciously avoiding the film, fearful a similar fate awaited me. Now I can safely watch it again or, I thought I could, but Hogg is much too superb and mysterious a film-maker for that. It isnt simply the information which is terrible, it is the dreadful catharsis of its expression, coming after so much obfuscation. The stifle has gone; instead there is the most awful sadness. Buttoning up is often the bravest way. CS

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

[isaacathom]

though i guess Rhiana as a low blood makes the most sense since they have the funkiest powers. explains the ghost thing. Lyndel is prooobably.... uh.... probably a high-ish blood colour. maybe SHES the blue blood. nd in helping rhiana, basically gives her the ability to pretend shes a blue blood too - after all, Lyndel will vouch for her! and people would trust lyndel’s word.

elliot is definitely high as well. should probably be higher than Lyndel, but proooobably not a seadweller. probably. itd make sense, i guess.

Zeke is low, but higher than Rhiana. reaching yellow tones.

also everyone elses names fucking fit 6 except for Zeke, god dammit zeke. why. whhyyyy. i guess like. Zeeeke. asshole.

idk. Rhiana and Lyndel are moirails or something. Rhiana and elliot are probably a one sided kisemesitude from Rhiana - assuming that Elliot directly caused her death. also assuming Elliot doesnt know that. like the idea is that Serenns death was so ‘public’ in some way that the only way she could continue to exist was to change identities. fleeing to her high blooded best friend and begging for her aid. so emerges anew as Rhiana, a teal blooded introvert with a seemingly inexplicable hatred towards Elliot. Elliot doesn’t get it. Lyndel allllmost fucking. oh jesus. auspistice??? moderates. concilliates. third spoke on the shenanigan train. mostly in the sense that she tries to stop Rhiana from straight up murdering Elliot and apologizes to Elliot a lot for her behaviour.

Zeke is.... uh..... like hes friends with all of them. maybe verging on moirails with elliot? perhaps one sided infatuations with either Rhiana or Lyndel. Rhiana certainly isnt into it (nothing wrong with Zeke its just she has a LOT more on her mind, like the fact shes Fucking Dead, lol). if its Lyndel she’d be a lot more tactful but shes not particularly interested. also because Rhiana is toooootaallllly waxing red for Lyndel, but is happy to settle for pale and simply support her best friend.

Elliot is incredibly fucking confused. poor boy.

the meme would be that Elliot is Rhiana’s server player, but Rhiana would probably rather die (again!) than have that happen. the alt meme is that SHE is his server. itd be Rhiana > Elliot > Zeke > Lyndel > Rhiana. Lyndel probably gets Rhiana in first, because that makes the most sense for them. it gives Rhiana time to sort something out, maybe start alchemizing shit to help herself. the PLAN is probably to have Elliot be lyndel’s server, thus meaning Rhiana would be zekes, but something occurs. unrelated to Rhiana, for once. and truuuuust me, her being his server is an absolute nightmare.

thats great. though, a retcon - Rhiana isnt black for Elliot. everyone just THINKS she is (except Lyndel), because the way she behaves roughly matches that behaviour. shes incredibly antagonistic and an absolute cunt to him, but also seems unwilling to remotely hurt him and sometimes shows him genuine compassion before flipping back. the assumption is that shes like..... she wants to be the only one who can hurt him, or something??? in reality she just hates him but it conflicts with the fact that she KNOWS he’s nice and the fact they used to be fairly close friends, despite th sheer gap in their castes, yknow.

in that case, its actually ZEKE who would be trying to keep the two from killing each other or preventing them from hat fucking or whatever. from an outsiders perspective, giving the mismatch of disposition, shit looks set to head for an incredibly destructive kismesitude, and Zeke doesn’t want that at alllll! theyre his friends! its probably for the best that he step in like that because lord knows that, if given the proper tools and enough motivation, Rhiana could probably kill Elliot. thats probably how he ascends, too - Rhiana fucking curb stomps him and dumps him on his quest bed. its catharsis, yknow. Lyndel’s on the side and she’s probably the one who starts their ascensions anyway? so she’s a bit disappointed that Rhiana actually killed him, but at least there was a good result and it wasnt just straight up murder??? thats good. if it had been straight up murder, hoo boy, nope! not having it!

..... isaac what did i fucking say

[viralhottopics]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Hi My Name Is Tyranny And Im An Alcoholic

Hello everyone. I would like to thank my loyal followers for questioning my whereabouts on Twitter. I was actually on vacation, because Im not poor. Sorry, but watching these morons was just not a fucking option. I was zen AF and I dont need Carolinas crocodile tears ruining it, k thx.

ANYWAYS, so onto the episode. It was kind of eh, Im going to be honest. If youre looking for another reason to be annoyed by Giannas existence though, then it def delivered.

AFTER THE MATCH CEREMONY

They are all pumped about getting four beams. In fact, if you took a shot for every time someone said four fucking beams youd need to get stomach pumped four fucking times.

Tyranny is like Ossssssssssssssssvaldo is my match. Honestly can we just cut the accent though? Hes from Chicago for gods sake, not Italy.

Oswaldo is not so sure. Hes like she could be my match! Or she isnt! Yeah, thats pretty much how life works, actually.

Also, can we acknowledge the giant-ass drink Tee has the whole time? That cup is actually my favorite cast member this season.

Carolina and Hayden start having a pillow fight because FOUR FUCKING BEAMS, AMIRIGHT?

Now Carolina is very suddenly into Hayden. Carolinas emotions give me whiplash. Betsy DeVos nomination was more certain than this bitch.

Gianna is like “OH NO. NOT TODAY. I DID NOT LEAVE THE SOUTHSIDE FOR THIS.” Shes like I’M GOING TO CONTINUE TO PURSUE THIS MAN WHO TREATS ME SO WELL. Even though they are a confirmed no match. Makes total sense.

So you unfriend-zoned him to cock block him? Seems v fair. So when you go to sleep, do you leave Haydens balls under your pillow or on your nightstand? Let me know.

*Starts Twitter Poll* Is Gianna hot? Yes or No?

Tyler apologizes to Taylor and is like “I have no excuse for being the ‘big bad wolf’ in this.” So youre eating peoples grandmas now? Very Hannibal Lecter-chic. Not sure Tyler understands that hes referencing a fairytale, but hes pretty so well overlook it.

Hes like these girls are all over me wah, life is hard.

TAYLOR: Im mad *looks at Tylers beautiful face* but Im not like, thatttt mad

Hes like Im not that guy, you know that! Shes like,

TYLER: I want to dump Shannon and date you

EVERYONE AT HOME:

Gianna goes to have a talk with Hayden, which she announces for everyone to know. Shes from the Midwest, okay? Shes not used to this whole having brains thing, cut her some slack!

GIANNA: HEY CAMERA GUY IM GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH HAYDEN ALSO GIANNA: were very low-key shhhh

Little Mike is like this is bullshit, they are not a match, they need to stop and its like SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

GIANNA: I dont want to stop you from doing something but stop fucking doing it. (Im not even making that up, thats an exact quote) HAYDEN: But I need to play the game GIANNA: Did I fucking stutter

So Hayden has relocated from friendzone island to being a little bitch island. Need a house warming gift, Hayden? Ill get you crowbar so you can pull your head out of your ass. Youre welcome.

Gianna and Hayden have sex, giving life to the newest Trump supporter Im sure. Carolina sees all of this and is like wtffffff. Shes like, totally in love with Hayden! Like, they spoke for a whole 10 minutes. Didnt that mean anything to him?

Andre is like “IF THEY FUCK THIS UP IM GOING TO BE PISSED” and Im like do it. Get mad. You wont. No balls.

Honestly, Gianna could probs take Andre in a fight. That girl should be a fuckin prison warden.

THE CHALLENGE

The challenge this week is for the dudes. The guys have to spin themselves and then go through an obstacle course. Then they have to shoot a basketball into the hoop of the girl they want to date. The person who shoots the third basketball in the hoop wins the date.

challenges sound like the hazing the gay frats do. Its all v weak.

The guys start the game and are falling all over the place. *plays Ed Sheeran*

Hayden is like, fuck it. Fuck this game. Idfc anymore, Im here for Gianna.

HAYDEN:I love Gianna

ME:

He decides to help Oswaldo win a date with Tee. See heres the thingI like Hayden, but I also think hes being very dumb. Its a hard spot for me rn. Really struggling.

Tee being proud of Oswaldo for winning is like Trump being proud of winning president. We all know he couldnt have won without Hayden/Russia.

Derrick and Joey are trying to win Rush Boobss date. Derrick wants to win because fuck Joey. Theyre shooting for legit five minutes. Seriously, Ive seen better shots from . When is the last time you played basketball? Third grade? Derricks like I played division I basketball! which sounds like an alternative fact to me.

Joey wins. So its Osvaldo/Tee and Joey/Rush Boobs.

Ryan tells them they are going to trapeze and Tee is like Im black, I shouldnt be in the air. How did you get to the Dominican Republic? Drive? Horseback? I didnt know your skin color made you less aerodynamic. I just saw and honestly, Im a fucking scientist now.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Lets all agree that Tee is low-key alcoholic. Shes constantly sipping from that big-ass cup and it seems like they have a good connection. Could that be her match?

Eddie is talking to Alicia about how he is poor and shes like “LOL not me, cant relate to you peasant.” Eddie, you need to get your ass over to Kam where you fucking belong. Know your fucking place. Do not fuck this up for me, Eddie.

Tyler is trying to break up with Shannon and it is a train fucking wreck. Hes like I need to do the right thing and leave you. He actually stole the whole speech from Gabriella in .

REAL PICTURE OF TYLER:

Shannon is like “I feel dumb.” And she should, because she just got played. I feel bad for Shannon. Her voice makes me want to take a waltz off a bridge, but I do feel things, kind of.

Tylers like I didnt realize girls have feelings and get mad when you treat them poorly. Thats like saying I didnt know when you light shit on fire, it gets hot.

Meanwhile, Tee is very much trying to date rape Osvaldo. Its creepy tbh. If a guy was doing that to a girl on this show I would be dialing 911 by now. Tee, knock it off, it’s super gross.

They go to the boom boom room and literally boom boom because they break something. Oswaldo, way to not hold your ground.

Kam is oiling Eddie up and being goofy. I needed this.

Shes like I know Alicia and Eddy have a good friendship, Im not getting territorial, because this is a game show. I LOVE YOU KAM, I AM STARTING YOUR FAN CLUB. Shes so rational. Everyone be like her please.

THE DATE

Oswaldo is like this date will take our relationship to the next level, even though it already has gone to the next level. *wink, wink* I remember when I lost my virginity. We get it, you had sex.

They go to the trapeze place and Oswaldo is like Hopefully I dont break my neck. Thats a pretty reasonable goal.

They all are like surprisingly good at this. Even Tee, whose blackness surprisingly does not hinder her capabilities. Its a miracle.

Oswaldo and Tee are like being lovey-dovey because they fucked that one time. Hes like shes not trying to rape me and I like this side of her. I too am a big fan of the people who dont try and sexually assault me. Weird.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Ryan comes in hot and asks about the no matches, aka Gianna and Hayden, still hooking up.

Giannas like HOW IS THIS OUR FAULT??? Uh, youre a confirmed no match and youre hooking up. I feel like Im taking crazy pills. Leave the dumb shit to Rush Boobs, please god.

The house is like, “ugh we hate you, lets just get this shit over with.” Thats how I felt with pledges in my sorority.

Tyranny and Oswaldo go to the truth booth because duh.

OSWALDO: Im excited to learn if were a match and really connect on a deeper level. TEE: Im tryna fuck.

Im stressed because Tee will def die of alcohol poisoning tonight if this doesnt work out. And what do you know, NO MATCH.

Tee was like I was falling in love with him. Shes crying. Hes crying. This is depressing. Did I accidentally sit on the remote and turn on ?

Oswaldo starts boxing while Andre is talking him down and all the guys hug him. Wow, I love the bromance. What I love more is that eventually one of them will try and fight another. #Drama

After everything, Tyler and Shannon are still hanging out. Whats Tylers favorite thing about Shannon? She isnt Taylor. Hes got high standards, ya know? #FourFuckingBeams

Taylor is like youre fucked up. And hes like why, because Im having a conversation?

Ugh Taylor, this paaaaains me to say, because I usually automatically side with the hot girl, but hes low-key right. You need to chill out and move on. Hes not worth it, dude. Hes just not.

Andre asks Taylor wtf shes doing with Tyler and Im like YAS KEEP THIS UP.

Andre is like actually, we like each other, Taylor. And shes like wait, yeah we do. WTF is this Jedi mind control shit Andre has.

ANDRE: *swinging coin back and forth* you are getting very sleepy.. and youre going to fuck me TAYLOR: *eyes glazed* yes, master

He says that she should be a Victorias Secret Model and honestly she should marry him just for that. Like thats compliment of the goddam century.

THE MATCHUP CEREMONY

Its the boys pick tonight. Please note that last time they blacked out harder than Tee does on any given weeknight.

Little Mike gets the ball rollin the wrong way and picks Kam.

Mikes like following our heart doesnt work. Hes like we should venture off, and though thats noble, maaaaaaybe not at the match ceremony. Thats like Michael Phelps being like LOOK FREESTYLE JUST DOESNT WORK right before the 4×100 relay.

Ozzy picks Hannah.

Oswaldo is up next and hes like “I GOTTA DO ME.” He picks Taylor.

Ryan asks Taylor how she feels about Tyler and shes like whos Tyler? Andre and her give each other looks and Im like OKAY YES IM HERE FOR THIS SHIT.

Ryans like Andre, do you wish you were with her and hes like Im practicing my patience. Whatever the fuck that means.

Oswaldo is like standing next to her like, lol just fuck me, right?

Andre picks Casandra.

Eddy picks Alicia and is like this is my homie.

KAM: I AM NOT WORRIED. ARE YOU WORRIED, BECAUSE I AM NOT WORRIED!!! *twitches*

Joey picks Rush boobs.

Derrick picks Gianna. Weird.

Tylers up and fucking moseys up to the front. Goddam hes like a walking Shakespeare playtragically beautiful.

Hes like Ryan, let me speak and Ryans like I didnt even say anything, but ok.

Tyler goes off about how he was painted as the villain and how he is innocent and how all this Taylor shit is fake news and the failing lamestream media is spreading false rumors!!! Sad!

Ryan asks Tyler who he likes more, Shannon or Taylor and Tyler picks Shannon.

RYAN: Do you think Tyler is your match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is Taylor his match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is the world round? SHANNON: IDK

Tylers talking about his breakup with Taylor and is like it sucks because you cant delete people in the real world. This is the first thing that I agree with him on. Dont worry Tyler, Ive watched . Well get to that point someday.

Michael picks KARI. Is it Carrie or KAAAAAARI? I have been saying KAAAAARI. Please DM some confirmation.

Hayden is next. Hayden tells the group that him and Gianna are affecting the game and they are going to stop screwing everyone over.

Gianna is like “WTF. WHO TOLD HIM HE COULD SPEAK? WHO LET HIM OUT OF HIS CAGE?” He picks Carolina. Hehe.

Jaylen and Tee are last. Tee is really bummed about Oswaldo and Ryan is like, “bitch its week four.”

These couples are random AF but idk Im drunk and just here to shit talk. Dont give that much of a fuck.

No blackout, so thats good. They get four beams again. Cant wait to hear them talk about it incessantly.

Read more: http://betches.co/2kojpty

from ‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Hi My Name Is Tyranny And Im An Alcoholic

[nbafunnymeme]

'Are You The One?' Recap: Hi My Name Is Tyranny And Im An Alcoholic

Hello everyone. I would like to thank my loyal followers for questioning my whereabouts on Twitter. I was actually on vacation, because Im not poor. Sorry, but watching these morons was just not a fucking option. I was zen AF and I dont need Carolinas crocodile tears ruining it, k thx.

ANYWAYS, so onto the episode. It was kind of eh, Im going to be honest. If youre looking for another reason to be annoyed by Giannas existence though, then it def delivered.

AFTER THE MATCH CEREMONY

They are all pumped about getting four beams. In fact, if you took a shot for every time someone said four fucking beams youd need to get stomach pumped four fucking times.

Tyranny is like Ossssssssssssssssvaldo is my match. Honestly can we just cut the accent though? Hes from Chicago for gods sake, not Italy.

Oswaldo is not so sure. Hes like she could be my match! Or she isnt! Yeah, thats pretty much how life works, actually.

Also, can we acknowledge the giant-ass drink Tee has the whole time? That cup is actually my favorite cast member this season.

Carolina and Hayden start having a pillow fight because FOUR FUCKING BEAMS, AMIRIGHT?

Now Carolina is very suddenly into Hayden. Carolinas emotions give me whiplash. Betsy DeVos nomination was more certain than this bitch.

Gianna is like “OH NO. NOT TODAY. I DID NOT LEAVE THE SOUTHSIDE FOR THIS.” Shes like I’M GOING TO CONTINUE TO PURSUE THIS MAN WHO TREATS ME SO WELL. Even though they are a confirmed no match. Makes total sense.

So you unfriend-zoned him to cock block him? Seems v fair. So when you go to sleep, do you leave Haydens balls under your pillow or on your nightstand? Let me know.

*Starts Twitter Poll* Is Gianna hot? Yes or No?

Tyler apologizes to Taylor and is like “I have no excuse for being the ‘big bad wolf’ in this.” So youre eating peoples grandmas now? Very Hannibal Lecter-chic. Not sure Tyler understands that hes referencing a fairytale, but hes pretty so well overlook it.

Hes like these girls are all over me wah, life is hard.

TAYLOR: Im mad *looks at Tylers beautiful face* but Im not like, thatttt mad

Hes like Im not that guy, you know that! Shes like,

TYLER: I want to dump Shannon and date you

EVERYONE AT HOME:

Gianna goes to have a talk with Hayden, which she announces for everyone to know. Shes from the Midwest, okay? Shes not used to this whole having brains thing, cut her some slack!

GIANNA: HEY CAMERA GUY IM GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH HAYDEN ALSO GIANNA: were very low-key shhhh

Little Mike is like this is bullshit, they are not a match, they need to stop and its like SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

GIANNA: I dont want to stop you from doing something but stop fucking doing it. (Im not even making that up, thats an exact quote) HAYDEN: But I need to play the game GIANNA: Did I fucking stutter

So Hayden has relocated from friendzone island to being a little bitch island. Need a house warming gift, Hayden? Ill get you crowbar so you can pull your head out of your ass. Youre welcome.

Gianna and Hayden have sex, giving life to the newest Trump supporter Im sure. Carolina sees all of this and is like wtffffff. Shes like, totally in love with Hayden! Like, they spoke for a whole 10 minutes. Didnt that mean anything to him?

Andre is like “IF THEY FUCK THIS UP IM GOING TO BE PISSED” and Im like do it. Get mad. You wont. No balls.

Honestly, Gianna could probs take Andre in a fight. That girl should be a fuckin prison warden.

THE CHALLENGE

The challenge this week is for the dudes. The guys have to spin themselves and then go through an obstacle course. Then they have to shoot a basketball into the hoop of the girl they want to date. The person who shoots the third basketball in the hoop wins the date.

challenges sound like the hazing the gay frats do. Its all v weak.

The guys start the game and are falling all over the place. *plays Ed Sheeran*

Hayden is like, fuck it. Fuck this game. Idfc anymore, Im here for Gianna.

HAYDEN:I love Gianna

ME:

He decides to help Oswaldo win a date with Tee. See heres the thingI like Hayden, but I also think hes being very dumb. Its a hard spot for me rn. Really struggling.

Tee being proud of Oswaldo for winning is like Trump being proud of winning president. We all know he couldnt have won without Hayden/Russia.

Derrick and Joey are trying to win Rush Boobss date. Derrick wants to win because fuck Joey. Theyre shooting for legit five minutes. Seriously, Ive seen better shots from . When is the last time you played basketball? Third grade? Derricks like I played division I basketball! which sounds like an alternative fact to me.

Joey wins. So its Osvaldo/Tee and Joey/Rush Boobs.

Ryan tells them they are going to trapeze and Tee is like Im black, I shouldnt be in the air. How did you get to the Dominican Republic? Drive? Horseback? I didnt know your skin color made you less aerodynamic. I just saw and honestly, Im a fucking scientist now.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Lets all agree that Tee is low-key alcoholic. Shes constantly sipping from that big-ass cup and it seems like they have a good connection. Could that be her match?

Eddie is talking to Alicia about how he is poor and shes like “LOL not me, cant relate to you peasant.” Eddie, you need to get your ass over to Kam where you fucking belong. Know your fucking place. Do not fuck this up for me, Eddie.

Tyler is trying to break up with Shannon and it is a train fucking wreck. Hes like I need to do the right thing and leave you. He actually stole the whole speech from Gabriella in .

REAL PICTURE OF TYLER:

Shannon is like “I feel dumb.” And she should, because she just got played. I feel bad for Shannon. Her voice makes me want to take a waltz off a bridge, but I do feel things, kind of.

Tylers like I didnt realize girls have feelings and get mad when you treat them poorly. Thats like saying I didnt know when you light shit on fire, it gets hot.

Meanwhile, Tee is very much trying to date rape Osvaldo. Its creepy tbh. If a guy was doing that to a girl on this show I would be dialing 911 by now. Tee, knock it off, it’s super gross.

They go to the boom boom room and literally boom boom because they break something. Oswaldo, way to not hold your ground.

Kam is oiling Eddie up and being goofy. I needed this.

Shes like I know Alicia and Eddy have a good friendship, Im not getting territorial, because this is a game show. I LOVE YOU KAM, I AM STARTING YOUR FAN CLUB. Shes so rational. Everyone be like her please.

THE DATE

Oswaldo is like this date will take our relationship to the next level, even though it already has gone to the next level. *wink, wink* I remember when I lost my virginity. We get it, you had sex.

They go to the trapeze place and Oswaldo is like Hopefully I dont break my neck. Thats a pretty reasonable goal.

They all are like surprisingly good at this. Even Tee, whose blackness surprisingly does not hinder her capabilities. Its a miracle.

Oswaldo and Tee are like being lovey-dovey because they fucked that one time. Hes like shes not trying to rape me and I like this side of her. I too am a big fan of the people who dont try and sexually assault me. Weird.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Ryan comes in hot and asks about the no matches, aka Gianna and Hayden, still hooking up.

Giannas like HOW IS THIS OUR FAULT??? Uh, youre a confirmed no match and youre hooking up. I feel like Im taking crazy pills. Leave the dumb shit to Rush Boobs, please god.

The house is like, “ugh we hate you, lets just get this shit over with.” Thats how I felt with pledges in my sorority.

Tyranny and Oswaldo go to the truth booth because duh.

OSWALDO: Im excited to learn if were a match and really connect on a deeper level. TEE: Im tryna fuck.

Im stressed because Tee will def die of alcohol poisoning tonight if this doesnt work out. And what do you know, NO MATCH.

Tee was like I was falling in love with him. Shes crying. Hes crying. This is depressing. Did I accidentally sit on the remote and turn on ?

Oswaldo starts boxing while Andre is talking him down and all the guys hug him. Wow, I love the bromance. What I love more is that eventually one of them will try and fight another. #Drama

After everything, Tyler and Shannon are still hanging out. Whats Tylers favorite thing about Shannon? She isnt Taylor. Hes got high standards, ya know? #FourFuckingBeams

Taylor is like youre fucked up. And hes like why, because Im having a conversation?

Ugh Taylor, this paaaaains me to say, because I usually automatically side with the hot girl, but hes low-key right. You need to chill out and move on. Hes not worth it, dude. Hes just not.

Andre asks Taylor wtf shes doing with Tyler and Im like YAS KEEP THIS UP.

Andre is like actually, we like each other, Taylor. And shes like wait, yeah we do. WTF is this Jedi mind control shit Andre has.

ANDRE: *swinging coin back and forth* you are getting very sleepy.. and youre going to fuck me TAYLOR: *eyes glazed* yes, master

He says that she should be a Victorias Secret Model and honestly she should marry him just for that. Like thats compliment of the goddam century.

THE MATCHUP CEREMONY

Its the boys pick tonight. Please note that last time they blacked out harder than Tee does on any given weeknight.

Little Mike gets the ball rollin the wrong way and picks Kam.

Mikes like following our heart doesnt work. Hes like we should venture off, and though thats noble, maaaaaaybe not at the match ceremony. Thats like Michael Phelps being like LOOK FREESTYLE JUST DOESNT WORK right before the 4×100 relay.

Ozzy picks Hannah.

Oswaldo is up next and hes like “I GOTTA DO ME.” He picks Taylor.

Ryan asks Taylor how she feels about Tyler and shes like whos Tyler? Andre and her give each other looks and Im like OKAY YES IM HERE FOR THIS SHIT.

Ryans like Andre, do you wish you were with her and hes like Im practicing my patience. Whatever the fuck that means.

Oswaldo is like standing next to her like, lol just fuck me, right?

Andre picks Casandra.

Eddy picks Alicia and is like this is my homie.

KAM: I AM NOT WORRIED. ARE YOU WORRIED, BECAUSE I AM NOT WORRIED!!! *twitches*

Joey picks Rush boobs.

Derrick picks Gianna. Weird.

Tylers up and fucking moseys up to the front. Goddam hes like a walking Shakespeare playtragically beautiful.

Hes like Ryan, let me speak and Ryans like I didnt even say anything, but ok.

Tyler goes off about how he was painted as the villain and how he is innocent and how all this Taylor shit is fake news and the failing lamestream media is spreading false rumors!!! Sad!

Ryan asks Tyler who he likes more, Shannon or Taylor and Tyler picks Shannon.

RYAN: Do you think Tyler is your match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is Taylor his match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is the world round? SHANNON: IDK

Tylers talking about his breakup with Taylor and is like it sucks because you cant delete people in the real world. This is the first thing that I agree with him on. Dont worry Tyler, Ive watched . Well get to that point someday.

Michael picks KARI. Is it Carrie or KAAAAAARI? I have been saying KAAAAARI. Please DM some confirmation.

Hayden is next. Hayden tells the group that him and Gianna are affecting the game and they are going to stop screwing everyone over.

Gianna is like “WTF. WHO TOLD HIM HE COULD SPEAK? WHO LET HIM OUT OF HIS CAGE?” He picks Carolina. Hehe.

Jaylen and Tee are last. Tee is really bummed about Oswaldo and Ryan is like, “bitch its week four.”

These couples are random AF but idk Im drunk and just here to shit talk. Dont give that much of a fuck.

No blackout, so thats good. They get four beams again. Cant wait to hear them talk about it incessantly.

Read more: http://www.betches.com/are-you-the-one-season-5-episode-4-recap

http://nbafunnymeme.com/nba-news-and-higlights/are-you-the-one-recap-hi-my-name-is-tyranny-and-im-an-alcoholic

[writingguide003-blog]

'I completely lost it': the movie scenes that made our writers weep

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/i-completely-lost-it-the-movie-scenes-that-made-our-writers-weep/

'I completely lost it': the movie scenes that made our writers weep

From Toy Story 2 to Under the Skin, writers pick the cinematic moments that made them cry and explain why. Spoilers ahead

Aunt Lucys trip, Paddington 2

On the face of it, Paddington is a fairly broad kids film franchise about the hijinks of a CGI bear, and so probably shouldnt make a grown human cry hot, salty tears. But that description ignores the fact that Paddington is a really, really well-made kids film franchise about the hijinks of a CGI bear, one that completely gets the pathos of its central character, a little lost immigrant searching for something resembling a family. Both films ably tug at the heartstrings, but the second film got me sniffling as early as 15 minutes in when Paddington imagines giving his only living relative, Aunt Lucy, a tour around London, something that in reality is impossible as shes stuck thousands of miles away in darkest Peru. When at the end of the film spoiler alert Aunt Lucy arrives on the Brown familys doorstep and she and Paddington hug, I completely, unapologetically lost it. Lord knows what surprises Paddington 3 has planned for my tear ducts. GM

When She Loved Me, Toy Story 2

Just before writing this, I put When She Loved Me from Toy Story 2 on YouTube once again, just to check. Yep. Just as always, I choke up, in the same abject, lip-wobbling, head-bowed way. It still has that terrible power.

When She Loved Me is the song written by Randy Newman and sung by the devastated toy cowgirl Jessie and in fact performed, beautifully, on the soundtrack by Canadian singer Sarah McLachlan. The song is Jessies way of telling Woody why she has grimly decided to submit to the airless world of the toy museum, because it is better than the inevitable heartbreak and delusion of loving a fickle human child. She reveals her anguish that her owner, Emily, has fallen out of love with her outgrown her, in fact. As Emily entered the world of adolescence, pop music and boys, Jessie was left under the bed and finally dumped.

When I first saw this scene and misled by the size disparity between toy and owner I thought it was a parable for a childs anxiety over being abandoned by the parent. But now that I am a parent I can see the truth which is completely the opposite way around. It is about the parents fear of being abandoned by the child: the terrible fear, actually the terrible certainty, that the kid one day wont want to play with you. They will grow up and want something else. This song is utterly devastating. It is modern cinemas equivalent of the Vesti La Giubba aria from Pagliacci the tragic clown smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. Im afraid to watch it too often. I dont want to break down over and over again. But I also want to preserve its power over me. PB

Ruths death, Fried Green Tomatoes

In many respects, Fried Green Tomatoes is not a movie for the modern age. It is a story about racism in the deep south told largely by way of eliciting our sympathies for wealthy white characters; it is a story about a lesbian relationship that had to slide its lesbian relationship in unnoticed, by presenting it as a very close friendship fulfilled by food fights, poker games and heads leaning meaningfully on shoulders. But I am deeply fond of this 1991 Sunday afternoon classic. Ive seen it more times than is healthy, and so I know exactly what is coming and when, and yet am still unable to resist the inevitable guttural sobbing that comes with the death scene.

There are plenty of teasers for it, too: Buddy on the train tracks, even Mrs Threadgoode talking about the death of her adult son. Nothing, however, can prepare the viewer for Ruth asking Idgie to tell her the old story about the frozen lake thats now somewhere over in Georgia. It doesnt so much pull on heartstrings as play a full symphony on them, and its devastating. As Sipsey puts it, a lady always knows when to leave. RN

The rooftop dance, Eat Pray Love

While I was repelled by the mere existence of the Eat Pray Love book, I found something strangely charming about its big-screen translation. It was a mixture of glossy food porn, glossy travel porn and glossy Julia Roberts emoting porn (she remains one of the best fake criers in Hollywood) all wrapped up in a rather unique tale of a woman trying to unshackle herself from the men in her life. But while that all provided mostly surface-level enjoyment, one scene cut deeper and the extent to which it cuts surprises me still.

As is often with the case with movie tears, these were tied to a real-world experience that had happened not long before I sat down to watch. I was dumped by a long-term boyfriend without much of an explanation and without any sort of warning. I was heartbroken and seeking some form of closure that was kept cruelly out of reach. I didnt understand why it had happened and it was the not knowing that felt harder than the break-up itself.

In the film, Roberts character has left her flighty husband and remains haunted by the heartbreak shes caused. On a rooftop in Delhi, a vision of him appears and they dance to Neil Youngs heart-grabbing Harvest Moon, the song that was supposed to accompany their first wedding dance. She reminds him that she did love him. He tells her he still loves and misses her. They cry and continue to dance. At the end, she tells him that it wont last forever, nothing does. Its a short scene but it hit me like a bus, it still does now. My tears are for the film but theyre also for something deeper: the sting of loving someone who stopped loving me and the ache of an ending I was never allowed in real life. BL

The thunderstorm, Click

Adam Sandler can make me cry harder than hes ever made me laugh, the true test of a clown. Yes, even in the underappreciated comedy Click about a dad who finds a magical remote control in the Beyond section of Bed Bath & Beyond.

Sandlers workaholic architect fast-forwards through the worst parts of his day the dull weeknight frozen dinners with his family, the repetitive arguments, the gross times everyone gets knocked out by the flu in order to get to his next promotion so he can buy his kids whatever they want. His plan doesnt go well, of course. But whats shocking is how gut-rippingly painful it is to see Sandler hit play on his life only to realize hes skipped past everything that matters. His bodys been present, the bills have been paid, but his emotional engagements been staticky a trade-off too many of us can understand.

In the climax, old man Sandler sobs in a thunderstorm as he arrives at his daughters wedding only to learn shed rather her stepdad walk her down the aisle, and his son has grown up to mimic his job-first, family-second example. I rarely cry at unavoidable tragedies where no ones at fault. My weakness is characters regretting choices they cant rewind. Click isnt Ingmar Bergman Sandler gets a happy ending but I barely saw his relief through the rainstorm on my face. AN

The courtroom, Kramer vs Kramer

By all accounts, Robert Bentons film Kramer vs Kramer skews heavily toward Dustin Hoffmans Ted, whose wife Joanna has left him and their six-year-old son Billy. Billy and Ted make french toast together, or argue about eating ice cream before dinner, or visit the nearby jungle gym. Were it not for Meryl Streep and the trenchant, intuitive way she humanizes a woman who, in the 70s, would have otherwise been made to seem mawkish and unstable Kramer vs Kramer might be just a schmaltzy panegyric on fatherhood.

But leave it to our greatest living actor to turn a film on its head with a single scene. You know the one: Joanna, during the custody hearing, is subjected to a string of sexist questions about her failure as a wife and a mother. When asked why shes seeking custody of Billy, she blinks three times, beginning the monologue Streep herself wrote in an effort to redeem her character, who she initially perceived to be an ogre, a princess, an ass.

Billys only seven years old. He needs me, she says, reciting the word need with a whispery uptick as she glances at her ex. Im not saying he doesnt need his father. But I really believe he needs me more. After catching her breath, she becomes more emphatic: I was his mommy for five and a half years. Since I was about Billys age when my parents got divorced, ergo, too young to understand or even care, Ive always been astonished and, by proxy, moved by how compassionately Streep plumbs the depths of Joannas truth. JN

The beach, Under the Skin

Little focuses the mind more effectively on human distress than the arrival of your own kids; scenes in films which I might once have snoozed through now induce boggle-eyed terror OH MY GOD, DONT LEAVE THAT BABY NEAR THAT COFFEE TABLE, IT HASNT GOT A CORNER PROTECTOR! But nothing has topped at least, not yet the scene in Under the Skin where Scarlett Johansson murders a swimmer and drags him off to eat him.

Its not the murder thats so epically upsetting, though its gruesome enough: Johansson, playing an alien visitor permanently on the lookout for human nutrients, simply bangs him over the head with a large stone as he lies prone and exhausted on the beach. Its what goes on in the background that is so awful. A woman goes into the water to try and rescue her drowning dog, and her male partner instinctively rushes in after her, leaving their toddler alone high on the shore. Johanssons chum the only other adult on this lonely Scottish beach goes to help too.

With the speed of falling dominoes, a nice little day out unravels: the mother and father are swept away to who knows where, and the alien takes her chance to acquire their would-be rescuer as a food source. Meanwhile, the suddenly abandoned kid is shrieking in terror as the night closes in. Another, less astute film-maker, might cap the scene with the alien scooping the kid up and adding him to her dinner menu, but what Glazer contrives is absolutely horrifying. Johansson-alien simply ignores it, and leaves it alone. The film moves on, this incident consigned to the past.

I have to confess I was absolutely blindsided by the scene; mostly, I think, because of the its sheer unexpectedness. I think I was gripped by a kind of internal hysteria: shock, hyperventilation, a feeling the back of my head might explode. (I cant say I actually cried though I may have, but in the confusion I cant really remember.) I certainly had to hold on to the seat to stop myself bolting out of the cinema then and there. I am aware theres a some degree of self-indulgence here: the fact that my daughter was about the same age as the kid in the film undoubtedly super-sensitised my reactions. But everyone has their weak spot; this is very much mine. AP

The birth, Cheaper by the Dozen 2

Cheaper by the Dozen 2, if you havent seen it you probably havent, why would you have? is the sequel to the remake of family comedy Cheaper by the Dozen, and Im sure it was made because Steve Martin, the star of the franchise, needed to pay his mortgage. The main gist of the movie is that Martin and his wife, played by Bonnie Hunt, have 12 children who get into various japes. Its asinine. But during a time in my life when I was making a lot of transatlantic flights, Cheaper By the Dozen 2 was always an option on the British Airways seatback televisions, and one day I found, because of the frequency of my flights, I had watched all of the other films.

What choice did I have? At the climactic scene, where the oldest daughter, played by Piper Perabo, gives birth, and then names the baby after her father because he has shown her that there is no way to be a perfect parent, but a million ways to be a really good one, I cried so much the man sitting next to me regarded me with what appeared to be real concern. There may have not been enough cocktail napkins on the whole plane to dry my tears. Was it the recycled air? Was it the two miniature bottles of white wine? Or was it that a joyful childbirth scene can warm the cockles of even the coldest of hearts? JHE

The accidental reunion, Manchester by the Sea

Weve got a real talent for repression back in Massachusetts. Kenneth Lonergans searing Manchester by the Sea plays out a 15-minute drive from my childhood home and, true to life, the characters all struggle to articulate the perfect storms of emotion raging within them.

When Lee (Casey Affleck) has a chance encounter with his ex-wife Randi (Michelle Williams), the shared history between them is literally unspeakable. They sputter out fragments of sentences that act as a shorthand for vast reservoirs of guilt and self-loathing they cant bear to express, and because they know one another so intimately, they can intuit all the meaning they have to. Theyve both shoved a lot deep down inside just so they can look at themselves in the mirror, and when in the presence of the only other person on the planet who understands what theyve been through, some of it has to come out. Randi does most of the talking, inviting Lee to lunch so they can get some closure, and he ends the conversation by walking away. Shes ready to face her past and be fully present in the new life shes built for herself. Lee, a North Shore boy born and bred, feels more comfortable starting a bar fight as his form of therapy. CB

The hotel, Unrelated

Joanna Hoggs first film, Unrelated, has had something of a second life on account of being the debut of Tom Hiddleston, and set during a Tuscan summer, which means swimming pool, which means toplessness, and lots of it. Its nice to imagine the Loki-lovers streaming this masterpiece of English upper-middle-class excruciation. As its ending shows, specificity is no barrier to emotional oomph.

The story sees a woman in her early 40s, Anna (Kathryn Worth), holidaying with old friends and their teenage children. She finds she prefers the company of the kids, especially the charming Oakley (Hiddleston, then 26, playing eight years younger). The holiday implodes. Anna goes to stay at a grim airport hotel. Her friend visits, crossly wanting to know whats behind her behaviour. Anna explains that, quite recently, she thought she was pregnant but no, in fact, it was an early menopause. Shell never be able to have children. She sobs and bends double on the bed. It is shot in one take, from the middle distance, acted with a banal frankness which feels like eavesdropping.

When I saw it a decade back, it floored me: a twist I hadnt foreseen, a pain I could only imagine. A few years ago, I began consciously avoiding the film, fearful a similar fate awaited me. Now I can safely watch it again or, I thought I could, but Hogg is much too superb and mysterious a film-maker for that. It isnt simply the information which is terrible, it is the dreadful catharsis of its expression, coming after so much obfuscation. The stifle has gone; instead there is the most awful sadness. Buttoning up is often the bravest way. CS

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