#she doesn't realize alex must really love her if he's letting her use his room!

[not-a-space-alien]

Savage Sunset Chapter 20S

In this chapter:

Warnings: Discussion of disordered eating and self-harm/cutting

Thank you for waiting so patiently for chapter 20!! btw I know the dual chapter format doesn't work super well for dialogue-heavy chapters, so I'll probably try something different the first time I get to a chapter where I think having two perspectives doesn't benefit the narrative.

Story masterpost

Complementary chapter

***

"Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ?"

Ari looked Bailey up and down, hand still on the doorknob, as though trying to decide if she wanted to just shut the door again.  "You think you're so funny. You're gonna need Jesus to save you if you don't knock that shit off."

Bailey sauntered in. "You're right. We're actually here to deliver a pizza. You want an XL or medium?" He hooked his arm around Jerome’s shoulders.

"What is this, dinner and a show?"  Ari shut the door.

"Nah, we’re not doing standup.  The show is what this is for.”  He gestured to his acoustic guitar, slung across his back.

"You think you're so goddamn funny."

"You know you love us."

"Only because nobody else will."

Bailey grinned widely, then turned towards Valen.  "And there's the man of the hour! You're gonna eat like a king tonight."

Valen pressed himself fearfully into the back of the couch.  Uh-oh, was he still scared of them?  It made sense…Although Jerome and Bailey had handed Valen back over to them, they had…handled him a little roughly, not wanting to risk their own safety.

"It is man, right?" Bailey continued. "Jerome insisted it was man.”

“You were all juiced up on T when you got here,” Jerome added.  “So I assumed.  Sorry you haven’t been able to get your juice while you’ve been here.  It’s clearly worn off by now.”

Valen looked at them like a deer caught in the headlights.  Lex’s heart suddenly broke, realizing how foolish this must seem from his perspective.  Referring to someone as man or woman must feel trivial when in a room with four people who you’re afraid would murder or torture you.

“S-sir, with all due respect,” Valen said, voice trembling, confirming Lex’s suspicions.  “I appre-appreciate the apology, but I worry more about having my personal structural integrity respected than my gender identity.”

The four humans all looked at each other awkwardly.

“Right…” Jerome said.  “Listen.  I know an I’m sorry isn’t gonna do jack shit for something like….this.  But we really do mean it.  We’re sorry.  That’s why we’re here to try and make up for it, even if it’s just a little bit.”

Valen burst into tears.  “You left me there, you just left me there, all of you.  You just watched.  And you’re the kind ones.  What hope do I have, on either side of the border?”

Lex came over and wrapped her arms around him.  “Shh, shh, you’re okay,” she soothed.

He wriggled away from her, sobbing.  “I’m not okay!  I’m very much not!  I’m a starved and injured vampire in a room with four vampire hunters, who helped someone torture me!  I would say this is as far from okay as one can be!”

Fuck.  Fuck.  Lex had been imagining it’d be smooth sailing from here, but…obviously that had been foolish.  Of course. “Give him some space, Alex.” Ari pulled her away and used the dreaded Alex. 

Jerome sat down on the edge of the bed.  Valen clutched the blanket to himself, tears streaming down his face.  “I get it,” Jerome said.  “We suck.  I know we suck.  I’m sorry we suck.  Please let us try and suck a bit less by helping you.”

Valen loosened his death grip on the blanket.

“You’re safe,” Lex said.  “I promise you’re safe now.”

“We realized how fucked up it was, what we did,” Ari said.  “And now we’re trying to fix it.  That’s it.”

“Okay,” Valen said, voice wobbly.  “Thank you.”

“Do you want us to just feed you and leave?” Jerome said.  “We were gonna, um, kind of hang out, but…well, if it’s just gonna make you feel worse, we don’t have to hang around.”

Valen made a visible attempt to calm himself down, closing his eyes.  “You can go about your business.  I won’t–I don’t mind.  I’ll stay out of the way.  You won’t even know I’m here.”

“Er,” said Jerome, awkwardly fiddling with one of his locs.  “No, I mean, we were going to hang out here, with you, to try and make you feel better.”

He looked positively overwhelmed by the prospect of being the center of attention of four vampire hunters.  He shrank down.  “I–I–I–”

“It’s okay,” Bailey said, sitting down and putting an arm around Valen.  “Breathe, babydoll.  It’s okay.”

Tears finally brimmed over in his eyes, and his lip lifted in a fearful snarl.  “Why did you think it would be okay to do that to me even if I wasn’t innocent? Why do you think anyone deserves that?  I was in there for six months, locked in the coffin except to be taken out and tortured, and you didn’t even give me a chance, you kidnapped me and tortured me, you didn’t even let me talk, and–and–”  His protest dissolved into wretched sobs.  “Why do you think it’s okay to do that to any living creature?  You’re monsters.”

Fuck.  Fuck.  This isn’t going to work.  Lex’s optimism crumbled.  It’s not going to work.  What we did is too big of a hurdle to get over.  He won’t ever trust us.  Not after what we did.

Bailey eased back, face dark.  The humans all looked at each other awkwardly as Valen continued to bawl.  Lex felt Ari’s comforting hand squeezing her own.

“Listen…” Jerome said, patting the blanket.  “Like I said, saying sorry can only go so far.  Trying to make it up to you can only go so far.  I’m not saying it’s right, or we should have let it happen.  But maybe you’ll be less freaked out if you understand.  Most of us have lost family members to vampires.  We know what happens to them.  They just get taken and snatched up out of nowhere, thrown into the meat grinder.  It’s happened to us, and it can happen again, to anyone we care about, at any time.  I don’t know if you’ve ever been through something like that, but it….does things to you.  Makes you numb.  Makes you care less about things you’d normally care about.  Makes you think someone on the other side should have a turn suffering.  Makes you think maybe you should just let the unthinkable happen if it means it can stop the flow of blood.”

“It’s fucked,” Bailey says, tears welling in his eyes.  “The whole thing is just fucked.  Valen, man, please, you gotta understand.  The only vampires we ever meet are the ones who cross the border, and they're usually the worst of the worst.  We never met anyone like you before.  We’re on edge all the time, knowing every night someone wants to kidnap or kill us.  Obviously I’m not saying it was right, but surely you gotta understand at least a little bit, right?  We’re not total monsters, I promise we aren’t.”

“You know what vampires are capable of,” Ari added.  “You know how they can be dangerous.  But you don’t feel it like we do.  You’ve never been a prey animal.”

Valen squeezed his eyes shut and took in deep breaths.  “Yes,” he said carefully, like he was trying to convince himself most of all.  “I understand, in theory, the reasons behind your actions.”  

“I’m sorry it took us so long to realize,” Lex said.  “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry we just ignored the way you were suffering.”  The guilt was eating her alive.

To her relief, his face softened, and he breathed in and out for a moment, calming himself.  “Okay.  I understand why you did it.  I do.  It’s just difficult to feel safe.”

Maybe we can still salvage this.  Maybe we aren’t unforgivable. “We’ve learned our lesson,” Lex said.  “We’re not gonna let something like that happen again, to you or to anyone.”

Valen nodded.  “Thank you.  Thank you, ma’am.”

“There, see?  Everything’s okay.”  Bailey slung his guitar around and started to pluck a few strings.  “Now, time for dinner and a show!”

Great Bailey, I’m sure that’ll make him feel all better.  But to her surprise, Valen smiled, clearly amused.  It still felt…a little weird, to see a vampire be amused at jokes.  As though before now she hadn’t expected vampires to have any personality beyond wanting to hurt her.  “Excellent,” he said timidly.  “I’ll be sure to spread the word about the excellent service at your establishment, haha!”

“Oh he’s funny,” Jerome said.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s funny, but he’s also fucking hungry I bet.  Time to chow down, big guy.”  Bailey rolled his sleeve up.  “Ari said the arm is an option, yeah?”

“Um…” Valen shrank back.  “I can’t bite–You–you pulled my fangs out.”

Bailey blinked.  “Ah.  Shit.  We did.”

Ari wordlessly handed over her knife.  

“Right…” Bailey said.  He took the knife unhappily.  Jerome looked like someone had threatened to stab him, and took a step back without a word.  Valen looked at him apprehensively.

“All right, here I go,” Bailey said, looking queasy.  He positioned the knife over his arm, in the spot where it seemed safest.  He took in a pained, hissing breath as he made a cut with the knife.

“Jesus, you big baby,” Ari said.

“Ey, ey, some of us don’t see blood once a month, ya know.  Only when something’s the matter.”  He sat on the edge of the bed and held his bleeding arm out to Valen.  “Eat up.”

“Thank you, sir,” Valen said politely, and bobbed his head in a bow.  He leaned forward and took Bailey’s arm delicately, drinking in small, dainty sips.

“There ya go,” Bailey said, ruffling Valen’s hair.  “Bet that feels better.”

Valen finished his drink, swiping his tongue over the wound to close it, then bringing his head back up, licking his lips.  “It does.  Thank you, sir.”

Lex looked with concerns towards Jerome, who was still cowering against the wall.  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Ari said.  “The two of us are plenty.”

“Is everything okay?” Lex said.  “Like, something up?”

“Um.”  Jerome swallowed and drew forwards, wringing his hands.  “No, I–I want to help.  I want to help him get better.  I do.  I just…”

“Is getting fed from too much, even if it’s from an open cut?” Lex said.  “Blood loss affect you?”

“Um..”  Jerome nervously shook his head.  “I, no, that’s not it.  I-”

“Don’t feel obligated, sir, it’s quite all right,” Valen said placatingly.  “I’ve had more than enough for today.” 

“I want to,” Jerome said, sounding like he was about to cry.  “I do, I’m sorry.  I just can’t, man.  I’m sorry.”

Bailey squeezed his shoulder.  “You don’t have to tell them, J-man.”

“No, I…Okay, yeah, I want to.”  Jerome sighed.  He rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie, revealing a series of scars striped up his forearm.  They looked old, but they were easy to see because they were raised and bumpy, and darker in color than his already-dark skin.  “I just, um…I just got some baggage about cutting myself,” he said, swallowing thickly.  

Fuck.  As though Lex couldn’t fuck up more than she already had, she’d asked a guy with a history of self harm–and a pretty bad one by the look of it–to cut himself.  She hadn’t even thought about it being hard for anyone besides Valen.  “Oh…Of course.  Don’t worry about it.  Whatever you can handle.  It’s fine if you can’t.”

Valen looked at Jerome’s arm uncomprehendingly.  “I would never force you, sir.  I promise.  I don’t know….why, or who would make you do that, but…”

What?   He thought someone forced Jerome…?

Valen shrunk back fearfully.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry if that was rude, sir, I am–I just don’t understand, I-”

Oh.  Oh.  Of course he wouldn’t understand.  Vampires didn’t scar, and they probably didn’t cut themselves in fits of depression either.  Why would they?

Jerome laughed, his thick voice breaking up the tension in the air.  “Of course.  Oh my God.  Vampires don’t scar, so of course you wouldn’t know.  I can’t imagine they self-harm either.”  He ran his fingers over his forearm.  “I…did this myself.  When I was younger.”

“What?  Why?” Valen blurted out, sounding horrified, and then he cringed, as though realizing he shouldn’t have been so forward.

“It’s hard to describe,” Jerome said.  “I was…in a lot of emotional pain.  It felt like…I didn’t deserve to not be in pain, in a way, that I deserved it.  Or maybe it was easier to have a bigger problem.  A cut on the arm is easier to treat than feeling like shit, you know?  You probably wouldn’t get it, but it made sense to my brain at the time.”

Valen looked down at his hands on his lap, before looking back up.  “I…do get it.  More than I care to admit.  I…often starved myself for similar reasons.  I felt too guilty to eat.  Too guilty for existing.  I never cut myself, but I often had self-inflicted pain.  It was….stupid.”

Jerome let out a slightly choked murmur of pity, putting a hand on Valen’s shoulder.  “It wasn’t stupid, man, neither of us were.  I mean, heck, for you, it at least made sense, right?  Because you felt guilty for drinking people’s blood, yeah?  That’s only natural.”

“No, I…I still did that to myself even when I started drinking the imported blood.”

The…imported blood?  It was becoming increasingly obvious from this conversation that, although they had certain things in common, there was clearly a huge cultural gap between them.

Valen picked up on their confusion immediately.  “There are specialty shops on the other side of the border who import blood from overseas.  Where there’s infrastructure for collecting it from paid volunteers.  Places where things are kinder.”

“That’s awesome!” Lex said.  “Holy shit!”  She’d never thought about that possibility.  The thought gave her some hope, that there were vampires that cared in this part of the world.

Valen nodded.  “Yes.  So I shouldn’t have felt guilty for eating then, but…  It still lingered.”  He looked up at Jerome.  “I wouldn’t have thought humans would have any reason to feel that way.  You’re innocent.”

Jerome gave him a sad smile.  “It’s so much more complicated than that, man.  We got…things to cope with even though we don’t have to drink blood, ya know?  I dunno if you want me to dump all this on you, but my…  I was depressed as fuck growing up.  It’s easy to fall into when things seem so hopeless.  It’s so hard to stay outta jail, when it feels like they’re trying to get you in there. And my… the first time doing it was when…”

He put his head in his hands, starting to cry.  Bailey sat down and put his arms around him.  “It’s okay.  You’re all right.”

“When my Daddy found out I was gay,” Jerome choked out.  “And I told him I was worried about–about catching GRID, or whatever that-that gay flu going around is, that people are dying from and he said- he said maybe it would be better if I did.”  He broke down into full-blown sobs.

Lex and Ari had been mostly casual acquaintances with Bailey and Jerome until this point, mostly just on the basis of them both being obviously in same-sex relationships and relating on those grounds.  But now, Lex suddenly felt so privileged to be trusted with a story like this.  She came over and sat on the other side of Jerome, adding herself to the hug.  Ari followed suit.

“I’m…sorry, sir,” Valen’s voice said from behind them.  “That’s unbelievably cruel.  I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Jerome sniffed and looked up at him, wiping his eyes.  “Yeah,” he said, voice wobbly.  “But hey, I don’t have to care about what he thinks anymore.  Fuck him, haha.  I got everyone I need right here.”

“Yeah, man, yeah you do.”

Jerome disentangled himself from the hug.  “Well–Well I don’t care that my blood ain’t good enough for the Red Cross–it’s good enough for you, and you know blood better than they do.  Come on, let’s figure out some way to make this work, huh?”

The group tossed ideas around, and hemmed and hmmed for a while, before Jerome eventually agreed that it would be okay to make two pinpricks, like a bite, rather than a cut.  It took a lot longer to get the blood out, but Jerome didn’t mind, and good-naturedly played with Valen’s hair while he did so.

Valen licked his lips when he was done, looking satisfied.   “Thank you, sir.  I feel much better now.”

“Well, we ain’t done yet!”  Bailey jovially picked up his guitar.  “Get ready!”

“R-ready for what?” Valen stammered.

“He’s gonna play you a song,” Lex said.  Oh boy, hopefully this goes okay… Don’t ruin a good evening, Bails.

“It’s supposed to make you feel better,” Jerome said.  “If you’d rather not, we don't have to.”

Valen drew the covers further up himself.  “That-that sounds nice.  That could be nice.  Thank you.”

“Right,” Bailey said.  His fingers started working at the guitar strings, plucking out a jaunty tune.  “Now I’m good on the guitar here, and Jerome’s got the golden pipes, so I’m gonna let him lead, and I’ll be the backup singer.”

Jerome reached into his bag and pulled out a tambourine, shaking it.  “And you ladies might know the words to this song, so feel free to sing along.”  This with a wink at Valen, which caused him to slide down into the couch.

Jerome started singing.

Oh it happened one night when the moon was bright

And full, but not as full as my heart.

Ari let out a groan.  “Of course you picked this one.”  This was an old joke of a song, a story about a guy being too horny for his own good, trying to court a vampire, and getting killed for it.  It was light-hearted, so Lex pushed down her doubt about how it would be received.

Lex grabbed Ari’s hands, dancing around a little bit and starting to sing along.  “Come on, come on!”

When I saw her, I knew she could tear me apart

She was pale and dead and covered in blood but hey

Nobody’s perfect

And she paralyzed me with a glance

No persuasion needed

And no sooner had my lips touched hers 

Than all the blood had left my body

But it was worth it in the end as the feeling fled my limbs.

Valen went beet red, apparently getting the meaning of the song on this verse.  Lex was about to check in with him if this was good-natured teasing or genuine bullying, before Bailey knelt down next to him, gesturing to him like a showman.

Oh you’re so big and bad it’s true

But that’s what I like about you

Jerome knelt on his other side, shaking the tambourine.  

It’s true that you could snap me in half 

But baby, maybe I’m into that.

Valen tossed the covers over his head, mortified. 

And if this ends with me getting all my stuff sucked out, Well,

That’s sort of what I was hoping for.

They all pointed at him for the next part, which was an animalistic growl.  He didn’t see this as he still had the covers over his head, but he cautiously peeked out and saw them, looking like a student unprepared for a test.

“I’m sorry,” he stuttered.  “I don’t know the words.”

“Oh, this part is just a big growl,” Bailey said.

Valen’s eyes bounced around the room.

“Go on,” Jerome said.  “Give us your scariest growl.”

Valen nervously gave a squeak, which could be called a growl if you were feeling generous, which they were.  He was clearly too nervous to give a real growl, the kind they’d heard from the basement before they’d come to their senses. 

They all cheered for him, like he was a celebrity.  Possibly the first iteration of the song that’d had a real vampire give the growl part, and it was fun despite the lackluster contribution on Valen’s part.

And more importantly, Valen looked delighted, looking around at the four of them like he hadn’t expected them to value his contribution.

He looked over to Lex and Ari, expression unreadable.

“There,” Bailey said, setting his guitar to the side.  “Now that the performance is over, how about some Monopoly?”

Lex groaned.  “Only if you don’t go as hard as humanly possible.”

“Not my fault if I play to win.”

***

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[the-everqueen]

Lams 2?

all you need to know is:

alex tutors/rewrites everyone’s papers for money and rage

alex has terrible pickup lines

2. At my worst I worry you’ll realize you deserve better. At my best I worry you won’t. (I’ve never been better)

“- and then he tries to argue that the gap between ethno and historical musicology is legitimate, using a quote from Adorno of all people, but anyway it’s out of context because the original essay is discussing the cultural effect of so-called popular music and the hell is this?”

John, distracted more by the rapid-fire cadence of Alexander’s voice than his actual words, nonetheless manages to stop short of crashing into him. “What is - oh.” 

Alex is staring intently at a piece of paper taped to the door. It’s a spreadsheet of times from 8:00 am to midnight, with names scrawled next to each hour long slot.

“I mentioned to Eliza that some of us had trouble getting practice rooms,” John says, adjusting the strap of his saxophone case on his shoulder. “I guess this is her solution.”

Alex double blinks at him. John needs to confiscate his energy drink stash. “Who’s Eliza?”

“Freshman soprano? She got a role in next semester’s opera?” John rolls his eyes at Alex’s blank expression. “Man, you need to go outside more.”

“This is my room. Why are people signing up to use my room?”

“Because even though you sleep in it on weekends, you don’t pay rent. Some of us also want to pass juries, you know.” He hefts his case as proof.

“But it’s my room. Everyone knows that.” Nope, John is definitely not getting through to him, and before he can continue this futile argument, Alex tears off the paper and barges into the room.

“Alex, someone is in there -”

“What is this?” Alex demands, thrusting the paper at them.

Eliza twists around on the piano bench, her long black braid slipping from her shoulder down her back. “Excuse me?”

And oh. John has seen Alex smitten before - Kitty, Cora, that transfer student Andre - but never like this. His whole demeanor shifts, from bantam fury to something softer - huge earnest eyes and a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Charmer, John thinks, and his heart twists.

“Oh.” Alex tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “You must be Eliza.”

Her brows pinch together. “Aren’t you in Washington’s studio?”

“Alexander Hamilton.” He offers his hand and, when she takes it, brushes a kiss to her knuckles. She gives a surprised laugh, a pearly sound that makes Alex grin.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she says, “but I should get back to practicing. I have a lesson in half an hour.”

“What piece?” Alex peers over her shoulder. Not subtle at all, John thinks, putting that silver tongue right next to her ear, but Eliza doesn’t seem to mind. “Ooh, Micaela’s aria. That’s good, everyone goes for the Habanera.”

“You don’t even like Bizet,” John points out. Neither of them acknowledge him.

Eliza blushes, a light pink on the apples of her cheeks. “It’s a little advanced for me, but I think it sounds lovely. Maybe for my senior recital?”

Alex pulls back so their eyes meet and tells her, with all the conviction of a zealot, “I’m sure you sound beautiful.”

It’s the same tone he used the first time they met, when John thought sax was a dirty secret, when he did jazz band for a reprieve from orchestra and woodwind ensemble and Hindemith. Greene gave him a solo that night and he played with all the passion he never felt for clarinet and after the concert Alex came up to him and said, as though it were a fact of the universe, “As long as you play saxophone, the world will be a bearable place.”

John quit clarinet the next day.

Alex nudges Eliza’s arm. “Hey, what if I accompanied you while you practice? Help you get a feel for what it’ll be like in performance?”

“That’s nice of you to offer, but -” and she glances back at John “- I’m sure you’re busy.”

Alex shrugs. “I was going practice. But this would help me with sight-reading. And maybe if you have time you can listen to the Ravel? I have to perform it in masterclass next week and it’s always great to have a test run. Especially with a worthwhile audience.”

Eliza worries her lip but she’s smiling and of course she will agree. John takes a step towards the door. “I’ve gotta get to band. We good for theory homework tonight, Alex?”

“Yeah.” He looks at John, his expression warm and tender, and John already knows he’s going to forget.

He hurries to band. Greene will be annoyed if he’s late.

[a-mended-pact]

Unsteady Keys: Chapter Two!

Hey everyone! So this is part two! I'm still currently trying to figure out how to make masterlist and what not for myself so bare with me on that! I hope you enjoy! Please feel free to interact and ask any questions! My request are also open!

✒ Word count: 1,447

💬 Authors notes: thank you so much for the response of the first chapter! I'm still super nervous posting my things! The only ones I'm confident about are for the Sticks & Stones series that hasn't fully dropped with @fortheloveofcriminalminds .

⚠️ Warnings!: there is mention of drugs and torture and normal criminal minds based things⚠️

Part 1

Part 3

When I awoke it was to the sound of voices arguing. I couldn't make out what they were saying. All I remember is being ambushed into a vehicle and being speed off. What the hell was happening? Did they take her too? Did they take both of us?

I couldn’t see anything due to what I assumed to be a blindfold over my eyes. My hands were tied behind my back along with my legs tied to a chair. I was here years ago. Way before I ever met Y/N. I had been running to get to her. Something was off. I could feel it. The way her eyes were unfocused even though she was looking directly at me. She wasn’t really seeing me. She was unmoving.  The real question is who is doing this to us. Before I could even think of all the possible unsubs. I felt a sharp pain in the side of my neck. An injection of some sort I wasn’t sure, right before what was obstructing my vision was removed.

‘Time to wake up genuis.’ The voice sounded tired and drained. My vision still remained unfocused; it hasn't adjusted to the dark lighting of the room. Their hand came to hold my cheek and patted it roughly as they made me focus on them. That’s when I finally got a good look at their familiar face. This can’t be happening. The more I focused on their dark eyes the more I wanted to scream. The drug they put into my system must have started to kick in because the longer I stared at them the more their face seemed to melt like this whole ordeal was out of a hollywood horror. 

The jazzy piano music playing in the background did nothing to stop the nightmarish scene this drug was causing me. If anything it made it worse. I tried to make sense of my surroundings but I couldn’t get my brain to comprehend any information it needed. I couldn’t even remember the unsubs name which was absurd in itself. I knew I knew them but with this hullaction coursing my body I couldn’t even begin to come up with a coherent thought. Even if I wanted to. I hated it. 

My mind felt like it was splitting open as it tried to sense what was happening. The world and everything around me was so distorted I wasn’t sure what was real anymore. I heard footsteps rushing towards me. I felt peace in the fact that they sounded so familiar as if they were going to save me. ‘Ah ah ah Agent Reid, You aren’t going to want to miss this.’ That voice and the ghost before me all resembled my wife.

 The sense of safety it brought me was fake. That I already knew. So why did I let her get so close to me? She leaned forward, ripping open my cardigan and my button up in one swift stride. She was too weak to do that. Wasn’t she? Her hand touched my chest and in that moment it did. I felt a burning sensation course through my body as a loud scream erupted from my mouth. When my vision started to clear from the pain. I realized it was only my imagination laced with the drug that was given to me. There the unsub stood with a sharp heated up blade in their hand. 

The smell of burning flesh and firewood filled my nostrils. That must have been where they heated up the blade. How did I not smell it before? Was I really so gone with this damn drug that I couldn’t even notice the basic senses? You would think I had a higher tolerance to drugs at this point. My head was killing me and the blaring music of the blasted piano was enough to make me want to scream in itself. 

The unsub stalked close to me and brought the knife up to my throat where my permanent scar was from the night I saved Alex Blake. I winced as the heat got closer to the scar tissue. I could already feel blisters forming just from the presence of it being so close to my skin.

‘Tell me something Agent Reid? What’s gonna help you sleep through the night now?’

-----------------

Being woken up by Matt banging on my window was not how I thought I would wake up. What happened? I don’t remember much of anything but messaging Emily that I was going home. I was upset with Spencer. My eyes widened as I shoved my door open, almost hitting poor Matt in the process. Wait? Hadn’t that been locked? Panic began to course through me. I needed to find Spencer. 

‘Where’s Spencer?’ my voice came out rushed and worried. I started scanning the parking lot frantically.

‘What do you mean? He is upstairs interrogating Cat Adams. He hasn’t left, he would have to have told us any new information he got.’ 

 

I glanced at him before I went running inside to get to the interrogation room. Matt hot on my trail following after me only mere steps behind. ‘Y/L/N, You need to calm down. What are you so worried about?’  I stepped into the room. Cat Adams was sitting in her cage where she belongs. 

Spencer however was nowhere in sight.  

‘Spencer would have told you all the new info if he had actually gotten any from her. He must have come out after I left. I saw him coming towards me in my car. That’s all I remember. Matt. He is in danger. He would still be here doing his job if he weren’t’ the worry i was feeling became all consuming. How do I make him believe me? I didn’t have time to even try. 

I marched into Cat’s room without thinking twice. I realize now how big of a mistake that was. She knew of me. She knew my name but she didn’t know my face. I straightened my back and glared at her. 

‘Where is Agent Reid? Don’t tell me you don’t know. Do not tell me you have no idea of where your friend would have taken him.’ My voice was as calm as I could manage it to be. In reality all I wanted to do was bash her head against the table and make her tell me where he was the old fashioned way. No mind games. Just a beat down. I think it’s about time she gets knocked down a peg.

Her head tilted to the side as she looked me up and down with a sadistic smile on her features right before she licked her lips at me. 

‘Oh would you look at that you sure are cute. No wonder he doesn't wanna play our little game anymore.’ 

I was going to flip if she didn’t just tell me what I needed to know to save my husband. 

‘Between you and me though? You aren’t much of a challenge. That’s probably why he gets so bored with you. Why he keeps coming back to play my wicked little game.’ The sadistic smile she had made me want to scream. 

I leaned down across the table to get closer to her. My face smug. ‘You like playing games with a man that loses to me on a regular basis, why not play with me? I may not be your precious Spencie but I am in fact legally a Reid. You remember what he says though don’t you? A Reid never loses.’ She looked intrigued but severely irritated with the fact that I mentioned the fact that Reid would never truly be hers. Her hot breath fanned on my face as she got closer to me. 

‘I don’t want to play with someone who is just a pawn to be used to pass the time.’ 

The laugh that erupted out of me was unexpected by everyone including myself. 

‘Oh sweetheart, you really believe you are unique and worthy of the time he spends on you. When you and I both know you could die and no one would mourn you.’ I got closer to her with a look I hoped the others couldn’t see on my face as I whispered in her ear. 

‘You may not wanna play a game with me but we’ve already started. There’s a reason he married me. You aren’t the only one that challenges him.’ My voice is steady and condescending. 

She’s very good at playing a game with a man that doesn’t want to play it. What happens when her opponent wants to play?

I supposed we’d find out won’t we?

------------------

Taglist! Thank you lovelies!

@sassymoon @rainsong01 @onlyhereforthefanfics

[tinyboxxtink]

"Doppelganger" *Part 8*

Okay ladies and gents, this is where I'd say you really need to have read Black Magic to understand this chapter. You can read it here.

Or, y'know I guess just accept that magic is real in this universe. Whatever. STILL READ IT. YOU WON'T REGRET IT I PROMISE.

If you read this last night, I did rewrite it and reuploaded it. Don't freak out, it's better now I swear.

I did make this signifantly longer though, but I won't lie to you kids-- it's not good. Angst wise, not plot wise. 😉

ENJOYYYYYYY!!!!

Part 7

Part 9

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

---------------

The next day Rafael decided he needed help, and if he couldn’t go to the squad, he only had one choice.

"....WHAT?!" Chloe screeched after Rafael told her the whole story after meeting up for coffee.

"I know, it's insane I just--" Rafael shook his head.

"I have so many questions. So many--" she started.

"Look I just wanted advice, and maybe …" he trailed off looking in the distance.

"Maybe what….?" She looked at him suspiciously.

"Supernatural help?" He sipped his coffee.

"Oh good God like what? Do you think that's what he used on YN?" Chloe sipped her tea.

"No doesn't need to, he can imitate me perfectly. I'm pretty sure it was just your standard date rape drug." The words made Rafael's fist clench and his lip curl at the thought of Nevada using date rape drugs on you.

"We have to get her out of there, Chloe. We have to," His voice trembled in fear for you.

"Well no shit Sherlock" Chloe pointed out. "You sure it's not the mind control stuff Liv used on you?"

"Liv didn't use mind control potions. She just used an ultra unhealthy amount of love potion. Although I wouldn't put it past her to get some more potions,” Rafael rolled his eyes.

Nearby Alex was listening in on the conversation, since Rafael knew what Javi looked like now. He listened to the rest of your conversation, then bolted before the two of you noticed him.

-----

“Magic potion?" Nevada laughed. are you fucking kidding me?! Dime qué tienen been smoking?!”

"I don't know Vada, he seemed pretty sure about it. And I mean look at the two of you, you're identical and there's no explanation for that. So I don't know, anything might be possible." Alex shrugged. "He said it's how they got together. Some chick named Olivia tried to tear them apart but their "true love" prevailed"."

"Oh , these two are even more fucking pathetic than I thought.” Nevada scoffed. “What do they live in, a fucking Disney movie?" He shook his head, but then had an idea.

"…. Seems like we might have to check with this Olivia," He smiled evilly.

--------

"Rafael" showed up to the squad room to talk to Olivia the very next day.

“Hey Liv” He nodded at her with a sly smile.

"Rafa!" Liv exclaimed. She was excited but nervous to see him. Mostly because she hadn't seen him since the whole 'wedding; debacle.

"Liv, I need you to tell me where you got your mind serum,” “Rafael” told her straight out. Olivia was shocked he was so flippant about it, and being so loud.

".... It wasn't mind serum Rafa it was love serum and-- wait why do you need it?" She looked around nervously, then quickly realized something must have gone wrong with the two of you.

"I think I'll be asking the questions here Liv, you're the one that fucked with me first." “Rafael” crossed his arms.

"You know if you need to control YN with potions, it may not be worth it Rafa.” Olivia told him softly, touching his hand. “I love you just the way you are...." She put a hand to his chest and gave him a sweet smile.

"Why do you think I'm asking? She's getting too wishy washy for me, I just want her to forget about us." Rafael put a hand to her face. "Just tell me where you got it, and we can be together."

"Ok!!" Not questioning it, Olivia started to text the address to Rafael's phone.

"No, I need you to write it down for me." “Rafael” grabbed a notepad and pen from off her desk.

"Why…?" Olivia raised an eyebrow at him.

"....So if my boss decides to do a random sweep of my phone he doesn't think I'm insane, Liv." He replied in a “duh” tone.

"...He can do that?" Oliva’s mouth dropped open.

"...The government can do a lot of things, Liv. Don’t trust them,” “Rafael” sneered. Sure Olivia should have taken that as a red flag, but she was so happy she might get her happy ending with Rafael she didn’t care.

"Right…." She wrote the address down and slipped it to "Rafael".

"Thanks babe," he grabbed Olivia in a giant kiss. Then he strutted out of the office leaving her with a huge smile.

----------

Not even a few hours later, Nevada took the address to an old antique shop. He walked in to see an old woman cleaning an ancient looking broach.

“An old antique shop, bruja? Were you going for totally predictable, or are you just lazy with fronts?”

The woman stopped cleaning and glared at him. “And who the hell are you?”

“Let’s just say I’m a friend of Olivia’s.” He smirked. “And as such, I’m going to need a favor…”

“Oh great are you a cop too?” She sighed.

“....You could say that.” He chuckled.

“So what do you need?” She looked at him skeptically.

“I need a...mind control potion,” Nevada felt like an idiot saying it out loud, but the old woman’s face verifying that such a thing existed made him feel better.

“You people and your God complexes…” She rolled her eyes before disappearing into the back. After a few minutes she came back with an orange liquid in a vial.

“Think of the name of the person you want this to control, and then once they drink this, whatever you think, they’ll do.”

“....Really?” Nevada gave her a sarcastic laugh.

“Oh you doubt my majeria, pendejo?” She snarled. “Then why are you here?”

“Lo siento, señora,” He quickly apologized. “Gracias,” He nodded to the potion and sauntered out of the shop.

--------

The next day Nevada texted Rafael to meet him in a warehouse on his side or town. Rafael immediately went to Chloe’s apartment for advice on what to do, since he didn’t have anyone else.

"This could be a trap." Chloe warned him.

"Of course it could be a trap but what choice do I have?!" Rafael argued.

"Ok but I'm coming," She insisted.

"Oh no you're not" Rafael shook his head.

"I'll stay out of sight, okay dad?” Chloe rolled her eyes.

"No, I don’t like it.” He protested while ignoring the 'dad' comment. “If something goes sideways in there I can’t protect the both of you,”

"I don't care if you like it, she's my best friend so you can suck it up," She crossed her arms. “And I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself,”

“....What’s the chances of me talking you out of this?” He sighed.

“....Ehhhh slim to none,” She smiled.

“Fine, but you’re staying outside,” He warned her as they headed to the address.

------

Rafael and Chloe went to the address, it was a giant warehouse. Rafael went inside, ready for anything. The place was pitch black so he couldn't really see anything.

"Nevada?" He called into the darkness. Suddenly one light in the middle of the warehouse lit up. He walked closer to find you lying there unconscious.

"YN!!!" He screamed, running over and waking you up.

“...What? What happened?” You stirred awake, totally disoriented. Nevada must have knocked you out again.

"Baby! it's me," He picked you up in his arms, holding you so tightly you thought you'd stop breathing. "He let you go, I can't believe it," He was crying now, he was so happy.

"...What? That makes ZERO sense," you pushed him away, looking at him angrily. "....Wait no no, it does make perfect sense-- you're Nevada!"

"What?" Rafael looked at you in shock. "... I'm not Nevada, I'm Rafael, YN! It's me!"

"Okay look I get it,” You crossed your arms. “You can’t just keep me drugged up all the time, and you need new and innovative ways to "be" Rafael-- but this is just cruel,”

“Baby it's me I-- it's me! it's Rafael,” He put his hands on either side of your face, staring intently into them. You wanted to believe him so badly, but all you could think about was the first time this happened. How perfectly Nevada had played Rafael, even down to the look in his eyes. That’s all you saw now, an act. A façade.

“....You've done a hell of a job researching him and perfecting his moves Nevada, but I'm not going to fall for it and I'm not going to keep hurting Rafa,” You pushed him away further, crossing your arms tighter so that he couldn’t get a free show of your exposed breasts in the barely there clothes he dressed you in.

Rafael stared at you in shock and disbelief, how much did he fuck with your mind? How could this be happening?

“....It's me. How else am I--- what can I do to prove to you that it's me? Y/N how can you not see it in my eyes? Look at me!” He grabbed your hands and searched your eyes for some kind of recognition, some kind of feeling.

“Yeah okay it's ‘you’. You are going to save me, and then we're going to go to some ‘safe location’ right? And then we’ll celebrate being ‘back together’ by having some amazing sex. And it’ll be wonderful and amazing, and I’ll cry and tell you how much I love you and missed you, and then you're going to be like ‘hahaha I got you again!’ I’m Not falling for it” Tears came to your eyes as you thought about all the times he had tricked you, and how much it had hurt Rafael every time. You couldn’t get the heartbreak in his eyes out of your brain.

“....God, this is exactly what he wanted…” Rafael muttered. “Carino, it's me I swear to God you have to believe me-- Look I brought Chloe!” He gestured to Chloe who came running over to the two of you.

“...Oh my God, Chloe?” Your eyes widened in seeing your best friend for the first time in days. Usually you two were attached at the hip. He brought Chloe-- Nevada didn’t know about Chloe, did he?

“....Remember the penguins? I proposed to you with the penguins, and-- and I told you that it was my favorite place in New York, and I did that nutty musical number? I worked on that for WEEKS!!! Would Nevada know that?” You heard Rafael talking while you looked from Chloe to him. You took his head in your hands, searching his eyes. They were full of tears, searching your own eyes for the same thing. Love.

“....Rafa?” You whispered, wiping the tears from his cheeks. He took your hand and kissed the side of it.

“It’s me,” He pressed his lips to your forehead. “It’s me, mi amor,”

You grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. You could feel the difference now, between his mouth and Nevada’s. Rafael kissed you in such a loving, beautiful way. Nevada groped your mouth like a hungry shark. You threw your arms around his neck and kissed him several times on the neck, not getting enough of him. He ran his fingers through your hair as his lips did the same to your face and neck.

Suddenly, a lone clap came from behind you.

“Awwww. No es tan dulce?” Nevada came stepping out of the shadows. “The two lovers, finally reunited. Es tan hermoso,” He wiped away a non-existent tear.

“....What the hell …?” Rafael asked while he helped you both stand up, Rafael stood in front of you protectively.

“Well I had to get some ‘inside’ information didn’t I, cabron? I can’t have you feeding her information only ‘you’ would know to try and break a spell, ¿Correcto??” Nevada crossed his arms as several men came out of the shadows all around you.

“....Spell?” You blinked, trying to play dumb. How did he know about magic?

“Oh shit…” You heard Chloe whisper as she and Rafael exchanged a guilty look. They really should have thought about having that conversation in private.

“I visited your friend, Olivia. She told me where I could find some very interesting...concoctions,” Nevada smirked as he held up an orange vial.

“What? No...no no no!!!!” Rafael’s head darted back and forth as Nevada’s goons inched towards you. Two of them pulled out pistols and aimed them right at him while two more walked up and grabbed you, dragging you away from Rafael.

“No...No! RAFAEL!!!” You screamed, trying to get away from them. He tried to run to you, but two more grabbed him by the arms and put him on his knees.

“...I don't know what the hell it is but don't you dare give her anything else!!!” Rafael yelled as the two men that had you dragged you over to Nevada.

“Oh okay, well just because you said that SO nicely, abogado,” Nevada nodded sarcastically as he grabbed your face.

“Now, open up baby. I know you can swallow,” He smirked while looking between the two of you. You shook your head violently, but Nevada gripped your nose between his fingers preventing you from breathing. You held out as long as you could, but you finally had to gasp for air. As soon as you did so, Nevada poured the orange liquid down your throat. After a few moments, your irises flashed a deep orange.

“....Vada,” You looked at Nevada with dreamy eyes as Rafael stared in horror.

“Finalmente I can stop wearing those God awful trajes,” Nevada grinned, stroking your cheek softly before looking at Rafael.

“And y’know, your girlfriend Olivia really should have just opted for this mind control potion, it works so much more efficiently. Pero, if I had just made your little puta in love with me, I couldn’t get her to do this,” He turned to you. “Baby, go take care of that hijo de puta, para mi,”

“Anything for you, papi,” You nodded with a smile, then turned to Rafael with a deep raging fire in your eyes.

“Let’s dance abogado,” You growled.

“No! No, Y/N you can't do this! I'm not going to hurt you,” He pleaded with you.

“Well that sucks for you,” You lunged for him, but he grabbed you by your arms. “

“Hey no no no, look at me!” He forced you to look at him. “Remember the penguins? I took you to see the penguins and I--"

Nevada closed his eyes and changed your memory with his.

”Nevada took me to penguins and that's how we got engaged, you lying piece of shit!!!” You yelled at him.

“….Fuck that’s what he meant. Now he’s used that against me,” Rafael grunted in frustration as you wriggled in his arms. “Y/N you have to believe me you love me, not Nevada. You love me!!”

“No, I DON’T!!!!” You broke free and started to punch him, but he threw you to the ground.

“...You're going to regret that,” You sneered, getting back up.

“I already do!” Rafael began to cry. He didn't want to hurt you, but he had no other choice.

“Alright, break it up,” Chloe stepped in trying to reason with you.

“And who are you? His bitch?” You snarked at her.

“Oh God now what? I'm your best friend, Chloe! We’ve been friends since you moved to the city! forever I helped you get Rafael, remember? All the hijinks we had to go through? Y/N you're my best friend come on, remember!”

“....I don't know what the hell you're talking about bitch, but if you’re against Nevada, you’re against me!” You lunged for Chloe. Unfortunately for you, Chloe had no qualms about kicking your ass. She punched you, making you go down.

“Chloe what the fuck are you doing?!” Rafael yelled angrily at her.

“Wha-- she was trying to kick my ass!” Chloe defended herself.

Well as much as I enjoy this, I'm going to need a status on that transfer, Barba,” Nevada stepped in and helped you to your feet. You started to lunge for Chloe again but Nevada held you back.

“Down girl, you’ll get her next time,” He pulled on the collar of your dress like heeling a dog. You straightened up and walked into his arms. He draped one of them around you as he smiled triumphantly at Chloe and Rafael.

“Well if you would let me work instead of fucking with my emotions and fucking with my fiancé's head I might have some time to do it, tarado!” Rafael barked while glaring at the two of you. “Why are you even doing this, don't you want me to fight for her?”

“Yeah I thought about that,” He nodded, moving his arms around your waist and pulling you back into his chest as you smirked at Rafael.

“And having her on my side actually works out better for me, because you can't hurt me if I have her as my guard dog,” He chuckled, pulling you to face him as he gave you a hungry kiss.

“I swear to God, Nevada… I'll….” Rafael started to charge Nevada, seeing you all over him in person was ten times worse than having to witness it over a face call.

“You'll what?” Nevada challenged him with a laugh. "You gonna call your cop friends on your 'true love?!'” He air quoted true love with a mocking sneer.

“That's right she is my true love; and our love has beat stronger things than your manipulation or mind potions,” He spat as Nevada’s goons began to surround him again in case he tried anything.

"Oh I very much doubt that." He smiled wickedly as he looked into your eyes. "Go on baby, tell him why you chose me" He nodded at Rafael. You nodded back and stepped towards Rafael with hatred in your orange eyes. Nevada thought of the perfect speech to really destroy him.

"Nevada is a real man Barba, he's pleasured me in ways you can't even think of. Our love was fake, you just kept me under your own spell. Nothing we had was actually real, and you're just gonna have to get over this obsession you have with me." You crossed your arms and spoke with absolute disdain.

"No….." Rafael's eyes filled with tears more and more after every word you spoke. "No!" He grabbed you and pulled you towards him. Nevada’s goons started to go after him but Vada put a hand up.

"Ah ah ah, señores. This will be more fun," He grinned.

"Baby come on, look he's...he’s just going to let you go!” Rafael tried to get you to go with him.

"Please, carino…." He put both hands on your face but all he could see was orange in your irises. Now he knew how you must have felt at the church when he didn't remember you. But then he remembered how the real him was deep down inside, screaming to get out. You had to be there too.

“....Rafa…?” Your head began to pound, the orange in your eyes began to flicker as the real you tried to break through.

“Yes, yes Y/N Baby it’s me!” A small hopeful smile crawled across his lips. He started speaking as fast as he could to draw you out more.

"....Carino, remember you told me about your parents, and I told you about my dad, and-- We beat Liv, we've prevailed over anything that tries to tear us apart. And I know you are in there, because I know I was in my body too. Please baby please, oh god please, YN you have to remember!” He pressed his forehead to yours as he begged you with whimpers and tears.

“Baby…”? You bit your lip as you tried like hell to fight the potion. Rafael rubbed your cheeks with his thumbs.

“....If you go back to him now--I'll lose you forever. He’ll just keep using you against me, and I won’t hurt you!” He hugged you tightly, your arms slowly raised to hug him back. Nevada saw what was unfolding and quickly thought to himself “NO. YOU’RE MINE. HURT HIM.”

Suddenly the orange flared in your eyes once again, and you pushed him away from you.

“Well that's really unfortunate for you, douchebag. Because I can,” You took one swift kick to his stomach and he fell over to the ground

“Ohhhhh shit!!!!!” Nevada clapped his hands together happily.

"That was even more delicious than I could have imagined, this magic thing is the best. Thanks for the tip, bruja,” Nevada nodded at Chloe who just glared at him as she helped Rafael up on his feet.

"This isn't over," he growled.

"You're right, you still need to get me those transfers" Nevada reminded him. “....And I think that red head will help you out, I may have 'made up' with her for you," He added with a wink.

“Oh for fucks sake…” Rafael groaned. Now he had lost you and he'd have to break Liv’s heart all over again.

“Now I'd leave before I set my queen loose on you," Nevada cackled.

“Let's go Rafa, we'll figure something out,” Chloe pulled him away from you and out of the warehouse.

Rafael knew you were in there, he just knew it. He was going to get you back somehow.

[monsoonblooms12]

Christmas with the Waverleys ❄️: Part II

Summary: How do things turn out when Alex and Pooja are teleported to the 19th century for a Victorian Christmas🎄?

A/N: Hi, how is everyone doing💫💛? Firstly, wishing a very happy Christmas Eve to everyone🎄! TBH I still cannot believe this year is about to end. Anywho, I wish everyone’s life is filled with joy, wonder and happiness and the new year brings you loads of new possibilities and new memories. Love you all!💛

If you enjoyed the story, please like, leave a comment or reblog. Your feedback keeps me going 💕

Thank you so very much @caseyvalentineramsey for prereading and @jamespotterthefirst for prereading and helping me up with the editing. You guys are life-savers and I love you💛💛

Characters: For this part, the characters are my OH f!MC(Dr. Pooja Sharma) and OH F!OC (Dr. Alexandra Walton), Eleanor Waverley, Thomas Waverley, Clarissa Waverley, Simon Waverley, Rose Waverley and William Waverley

Word Count: around 3.2K

Rating: General

Prompts :-

CFWC(@choicesficwriterscreations ) Winter Season Prompt #6: Character A doesn’t like the holidays. B loves it. Will B try to find out why or convince A to celebrate it?

@choicesmonthlychallenge ​~Sibling Appreciation: The Waverley Siblings

@choicesdecemberchallenge ​ Day 24: Eve

December 24th (contd.)

Suddenly it felt as if the world was spinning very, very rapidly around them. They felt dizzy, nauseous. Just when bearing everything was becoming too much, a chilly air went past them.

They slowly opened their eyes. And the sight in front of them had them holding their breath without their knowledge.

A huge medieval mansion, covered in snow, appeared before them. It was majestic, beautiful and warm.

They looked around. As far as the eye could see, No other house was visible.

Is this the place they were supposed to reach? Or did something go wrong?

Pooja and Alex looked around in utter awe. Both due to the mansion and the wonder if they had been teleported to 19th century London.

"There you are!" A deep, humble, feminine voice called out.

Turning around they saw a young girl either approaching 20 or in her very early 20s coming out from the mansion towards them. She wore a medieval red gown, the upper half of which was covered by a shawl, and only the lower half with minute patterns of red silk was visible.

Not knowing what else to do, Pooja and Alex, too started walking through the snow towards her.

After a few minutes, they stood face to face. The girl had a small, faint smile, but her eyes expressed the happiness she felt on meeting her visitors.

She bowed slightly.

"I am Eleanor Waverley."

"You both must be Pooja and Alexandra!"

Confused, both of them bowed similarly as Eleanor had. Confirming her words, Pooja spoke, "Yes! I am Pooja, and she" She pointed towards Alex, " is Alexandra."

"Great! Oh! I haven't even invited you in. Please follow me."

"This is our house, The Braidwood Manor." 

Eleanor added as she opened the brown panelled glass door and led them in.

The interiors of the Manor gave a majestic vibe. A huge golden chandelier with 7 ornate lamps hung down from the high ceiling. The floor had decorated tiles of various shades of orange and brown. 

On entering, Pooja and Alex were mesmerized with the beautiful inside. It also provided them with the warmth which they were craving since the time they teleported to the Victorian Era of Britain.

When the two were taking in all the details, Eleanor's voice jolted them out of their thoughts.

"From the time Mrs Ainsworth informed us that some guests were going to join us for Christmas, we were excited. Especially my sister and my little brother." A smile lightened up her face as Eleanor gazed gratefully at her guests.

"I thank you from the bottom of my heart for joining us this year. I promise you will not regret anything about all this. We rarely have visitors on Christmas. Your presence is like a light in our dark, solitary winter nights. Thank you, thank you very much!"

 A little tear slipped down her eye as the smile remained still on her face, signifying her happiness.

Pooja stepped forward. 

"Eleanor, It is not you but us who should be thankful. Thank you for letting us celebrate this Christmas with you. Maybe, finally, my best friend—" She pointed towards Alex "—will warm up to the idea of holidays. We are very excited for the celebrations" 

She finished with a smile as Alex joined her. Alex's face, too, bore a smile, but it didn't quite crinkle the corners of her eye. It was a pleasantry.

"We are excited too! Let me introduce you to my famil- Oh!" Eleanor abruptly stopped. "I nearly forgot! Let me first show you your rooms. And-" 

She seemed awkward, as if searching for words. She looked down at their dresses.

And Alex, understanding what she was trying to signify, relieved her from her awkwardness.

"Eleanor, I guess it has something to do with our dresses, right?"

Not knowing what to say, She nodded her head slightly.

Pooja said, "Ohh Yes! Eleanor, please help us with them?"

Eleanor was relieved for not having to say it herself. She was pleased with their intuition and understanding nature.

"Please follow me. I will provide you with everything."

She led the two of them up the Grand stairs to their rooms. As the two slowly took in their surroundings, Eleanor came and provided them both with a beautiful Victorian gown. Pooja's was teal and white, while Alex's was hunter green and Congo red.

Once ready and all decked up, Eleanor took them for introductions.

The three of them entered the dining area of the Manor, and slowly the big family of three young children and their parents came into view, seated on the dining table, behind which, the wall bore an intricately decorated mural and a magnificent fireplace along with some painting of the family.

The sound of the footsteps caused five heads to turn their way, each accompanied by a gentle smile and warmth in their eyes. Each, except one. The boy's face did turn towards them, but it remained hostile and indifferent.

"Seems like he doesn't prefer our company"

"Mmm-hmm. It's okay, We are just here for a day"

Pooja and Alex went up to the friendly members who had now got up from their chairs and stood to welcome them. 

Eleanor, went to the elder lady, and spoke to her, "Mum, they are our guests for Christmas." She went up to Pooja. "This is Pooja" and then to Alex "and this is Alexandra"

Her mother stepped forward and the two girls bowed like they had seen Eleanor do when she met them. She was pleased and warmly welcomed them.

"Ahh! So happy to have two golden girls joining us. I am Rose Waverley." She kindly gestured them to get seated at the table along with everyone else.

Once everyone settled down, Eleanor finished up the rest of the introductions. Her father William Waverley, her sister Clarissa Waverley and her two brothers, Thomas and Simon.

After chatting a bit more, they finally delved into the Celebration plans.

"My dears, we haven't started putting the decorations yet, because I very strongly believe that decorations are a very essential part of igniting the holiday spirit." Mrs. Waverley informed.

Alex nearly scoffed at the 'Holiday Spirit' but realizing the circumstances they were in, she stopped herself.

Holiday spirit, ugh! Why Poo Why?

But Pooja was genuinely excited. She always wanted to visit a Victorian house and celebrate Holidays the Victorian way.

And all this? It felt like a dream come true.

She excitedly said, "Very True, Mrs. Waverley! And please don't worry! We will help in every way we can."

"Great then! We can start working then. Ellie, and our guests can put up the decorations, while Clarissa helps me in the kitchen. Thomas can put up everyone's stockings, and two more for our guests, at the fireplace, while Simon and Dad finish the book they were reading."

Everyone happily nodded and went on to carry out their assigned jobs.

Pooja, Alex and Eleanor, headed towards the Parlour. It was grand. 

Two huge bay windows brought in the faint light of the exteriors. By one of the window, an elegant piano sat peacefully and on the other side was a large, comfortable couch, perfect for family seating.

And just beside the couch, was a beautiful, delicately manicured, fir tree stood as the symbolism of the Festivals.

Pooja and Alex were so immersed in viewing everything that they didn't notice that Eleanor was not there with them. They realized the same when she came with a huge box in her hand.

"Here are the decorations that are to be placed" 

She set down the box that she was carrying. It was filled to the rim with glass ornaments, crackers, lights, red paper strips and various other decors of tin and leather.

"But I am really confused about which pieces to put up and which to skip out?" 

Eleanor sighed, staring at the plethora of ornaments. 

Pooja nudged Alex, "Don't worry! When Alexandra Walton is here, nothing can go wrong!"

What in the world? Poo has lost her mind. Oh, No!! Now what?

"Uh... Huh. Ya, I mean, sure. I will help."

"Help, Lex? Nah. You will lead, we will follow."

Eleanor let out a gentle chortle as Pooja continued to tease Alex. She was in awe of both of their friendships.

Suddenly she remembered that soon, very soon, they will take their leave.

She sighed as she thought. Even though they had come in her life for an hour or so at most, it felt like they knew each other since forever.

"Eleanor?" She was brought back to the Braidwood Manor by the sublimely worried voice of Pooja. She looked at them to see both the girls looking at her with a concerned look.

"Eleanor? Is everything alright? If there is any trouble troubling you, you can share it. We will help any way we can!" Pooja and Alex assured.

"No! No worries, as such. Just..." A pause. "I have never had anyone like both of you in my life. Although my family is loving, and I will forever be grateful for them, but... I have, never had friends like you both are."

"Oh, Ellie!" Pooja calling her by her nickname caught her off guard for a moment, but she soon got her grip and smiled at her. "You are our friend. Good friend," 

"Great friend" Alex inserted.

"No matter, we are here tomorrow or not, you will always be our friend,"

"Always?" Eleanor sought for a confirmation.

"Always." The two assured while placing a hand on Ellie's shoulder. Their hearts were full of the feelings of a freshly sprouted planting of friendship.

"Oh-kay! So let's start creating a masterpiece out of this tree, shall we?" Pooja shot an excited look towards her friends.

"Yaa, Happy Holidays." Alex groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Alexandra, you won't regret it! Let's get going!"

"If you say so." Alex gave her a tiny smile. She was not the one to turn down a good friend.

"And, it's Alex" she added as the three went up to look through the ornament.

Time passed, like a gushing stream flowing down a rocky hill, as the three meticulously put each glass ornament, each cracker and the fairy lights, one by one, with extreme care and perfection. 

Pooja was hyped, Eleanor excited, and Alex, very strangely, was Happy. 

Was it because of the company, or had she finally begun to enjoy holidays? That will forever remain a mystery. 

But will it be so bad to see Alexandra Walton opening up to the idea of festivals? Not a mince!

An unknown number of hours later, they were finally done. They stepped back to admire their handiwork.

And didn't it reflect their hard work! 

Each delicately placed ornament, each strand of fairy light, each funfilled cracker made the tree look heavenly. 

Their placements complemented each other and their collaboration was splendid. 

If they weren't friends made for each other, who were?

As Pooja, Alex and Ellie stood admiring the bejewelled fir, a soft aroma filled the room. It was then they realized, how hungry they had been! As soon as the thoughts crossed their mind, Clarissa came into the parlour. The power of telepathy!

"The food had been served! Mom invited you all to the dining room." She almost left when her eyes fell on the tree.

"Woooow! This is so pretty! Mom and Dad will be so happy."

She went to where Pooja and Alex stood.

"Thank you soo much for this. I have never seen our tree looking soo beautiful! You two are angels."

The little girl's happiness reflected in her eyes.

Alex lightly placed her hand on her shoulder. "We enjoyed decorating it too! But you should thank your sister first. Without her, this wouldn't have been able to do it so perfectly."

Clarissa went to her sister and gave her a big hug. "You know you're the best Eleanor. You're the best big sister." 

Eleanor shed a tear as she hugged her little sister back. "You are precious too, Clarissa! You, Thomas, Simon, you all are!"

After staying in the hug for a bit longer, Clarissa escorted them to the dining room. As soon as they entered, the delicious aroma of several lavish and extravagant delicacies overpowered their senses. Their mouths watered. 

At the table, they say a perfectly roasted stuffed turkey sat at the centre. Mashed potatoes, gravy and vegetables were placed in sparkly silver. There was cranberry sauce. Oysters, Yorkshire Pudding and tender Chicken looked delightful.

"Please take a seat my dears" Mrs Waverley urged as she placed two decorative plates in front of them along with all the additional pieces of cutlery.

"This is a traditional English Christmas Feast. Enjoy yourselves!" She said as she whole-heartedly served her guests.

After they finished the huge servings of the main course, dessert was served. A beautifully made Christmas pudding and a piece of fruitcake.

If not before, Alex had definitely melted by now. As she finished the last crumb of the delicacies served, she thought to herself, "Maybe Holidays aren't so bad. Food, Friends, Happiness. I don't think I could ask for more." 

What a growth!

After the dinner, as Pooja went to see the Christmas tree one last time, she heard a soft melody touching her ears, which came from the Parlour. As Pooja went in, she saw the silhouette of a boy playing the Grand Piano. As she went in, she realized that it was Thomas.

Without disturbing him, she stood a little closer. Thomas must have realized that someone was there. He abruptly turned back.

"What are you doing here?"

"I remembered a tune that I learnt some while ago. Is it okay if I play?" Pooja enquired.

"Fine. Go On." 

Thomas remained Stoic, but he was definitely intrigued.

Pooja slowly took a seat at the piano. She played the gentle notes of a Parlour music tune she had picked up from Alekhya. Thomas closed his head as he lightly swayed his head with the soft tune.

Once finished, He looked up to Pooja at awe.

"Where did he you learn that from? That was melodious!"

Not answering his question, Pooja offered, "Do want to learn it?"

Thomas let out an excited Yes. And the duo spent the rest of the evening teaching each other tunes and talking a bit here & there.

All this while Alex went to Simon. The little boy was so excited to see her. Mr Waverley left him with her as he went to have a stroll.

Simon sat on her lap and Alex, told him colourful stories, of fairies, of dragons and even of the future. Her storytelling won his heart and his demands for One More! never diminished.

 At last, as he fell in a sweet slumber, the long evening of stories ended.

A little while later, Pooja came searching her. She told her about her evening with Thomas and Alex softly told about how she spent her evening with Little Simon.

As they chatted, they did not take notice of Mr Waverley coming back in the room. When he slowly called for Simon, that's when they got aware of his presence.

As Alex handed Simon back to him and the two took their leave, Mr Waverley stopped them. They turned to see the man having a smile of gratitude on his lightly wrinkled face.

"I can not thank the both of you enough for coming here today. Our Christmas, Holidays have always been just the family. My kids always wanted to have someone over for the occasion, but living in a solitary area like this didn't make it easy for people to come over. Having you here, I can undoubtedly say that this was the Best Christmas Eve we have ever had!"

At his words, both Pooja and Alex had tiny droplets at the corner of their eyes. They thanked him and chatted with him for a little while before finally retiring for the night.

December 25th

The Christmas morning began when Eleanor came waking the two sleepyheads and asking them to come and see the gifts they had received.

They got dressed and as they entered the Parlour, were greeted with excited squeals and heartfelt laughter, that rubbed away any reminiscences of sleep that remained.

They saw the family opening their gifts and the floor all covered with handkerchiefs, pieces of jewellery, board games books, mufflers, embroidered suspenders and even larger articles like a theatrophone and a dishwasher.

Pooja and Alex too got sweets, nuts, little handmade trinkets, jewellery, reading books, watch case and scarves. 

The unique article that Pooja got was a vintage board game while for Alex it was an Indian work humidor. 

Both of them also received a box of home-made cookies each. Everything was too precious for them, the bonding that they had formed with this happy family was all they needed for a great time.

A lot of talks, food and smiles later, all of them dressed up for the Church.

However, Pooja and Alex realized they didn't have much time left. They asked Eleanor about the time.

It was still early. Perhaps they would be able to listen to the carols before they had to take their leave.

"Ellie, I don't think we will be able to stay for longer. We will get to hear the carols but, we don't much time left."

"Can't you stay here with us?" Eleanor said as sadness spread over her features.

"We are sorry Eleanor, but there are some circumstances not in our hand. When time comes, one has to bid Adieu! But the feeling is definitely mutual." Alex softly replied.

Their heart broke at the thought that they would never be able to see each other again. But what is the use of denying the inevitable.

Eleanor was one determined girl. She wouldn't let them miss the carols!

"You came this time, you will come again. You know the right person who can bring you back. Promise me, Promise me you will come back!" Eleanor requested.

Then it dawned upon them. If the lady brought them here once, she could bring them back again!

Happily, they promised, "Promise."

And with that, the three hurried down to join the family on their way to the Church.

Carol singers and musicians played and sang the five melodious and popular carols of the era. Beginning their performance with O Come all ye Faithful, and the symphony continued with Once in Royal David’s City, moving on to See Amid the Winters Snow, O Little Town of Bethlehem.

At last came the majestic music of Away in a Manger.

Each of the performance was a musical gem, and if they could, they would have recorded each of the pieces and take them with them.

But just as the ending notes of the Carol began playing, Pooja and Alex, started feeling slightly light-headed.

Their time, here, was coming to an end.

Quietly whispering their hurried goodbyes, they picked the bag of their gifts.

As they went last notes of the Carols faded, they faded from the 19th century with the pieces of love they had garnered from the Era of Victoria.

Only one thought crossed their mind as their senses finally gave out.

This was a Christmas well spent.

PS: Lots of hearty thank yous to you for reading💖! I hope you have a great day ahead💖, and wishing you a Very Merry Christmas is Advance🎄!

Fic Tags (please let me know if you want to be added or removed!) : @bbrandy2002 @whimsicallywayward15 @ohramsey  @hopelessromanticmonie @trrfanaddict @nervoussaladsludgeopera @imonlybibecauseofethanramsey @lovablegranny @bellcat2010 @gkittylove99 @starrystarrytrouble @3riche @chetachisblog @arcticriver @aylaramseycarrera  @drariellevalentine @mvalentine ​ @aestheticartsx ​@angela8754 ​ @schnitzelbutterfingers ​ @ao719 ​ @choicesstan1 @nikki-2406 ​ @neotericthemis ​ @anotherbeingsworld @maurine07 @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics @zoehanji

[renee-writer]

Flatmates Chapter 49 Panic!

It hits her later, in the shower. She stops letting the bath mat hit the floor as her heart pounds and she breaks into a cold sweat. Her head lands on the shower wall as waves of nausea assult.

“Their not here.” She whispers to herself. It doesn't help as the panic attack has already began.

He doesn’t notice at first. Playing with the kitten and a string toy. It was only when Adso curls up in exhaustion that he realizes the shower has been running way to long. He stands. “Claire!”

The thoughts running through her mind are unable to be tamed. They are interchangeable between the two bastards. She sees them both, hears them both screaming in her head. She isn't even able to cry out frozen in terror.

“Claire honey, you okay?” He waits a second. Only the sound of the running water answers. He opens the door and walks over to the shower. “Claire?” He sees the outline of her but she doesn’t move or answer him. He pulls the shower door open. The chill from the now cold water, greets him. “God Claire. You must be freezing.” He gets the water off. She still stands motionless except for her bodies reaction to the chill. The shivers and goose bumps tell him she is alive. With a muttered oath, he wraps a towel around her and lifts her out. He dries her unresisting body and wraps her in her thick robe. “Claire, you are safe. I am here and he isn't.”

She still is stiff so he leads her into her room and gets her laid down, joining her, holding her tight. “You are safe.” He repeats. Adso comes in search of his people. Jamie calls him up on the bed and places him against her chest. He curls up and starts purring. She cracks then, shaking and crying.

“You are home. No one is here but us.” He softly says.

“Oh God Jamie. They were in my head. Both of them. Screaming. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t do anything.”

“Panic attack.”

“Yes. First in years. God.”

“Alex’s story. I am sorry baby.”

“Not your fault. Glad you were here”

“Me too or you might have froze to death in the shower.”

“That is why I am so cold.”

“Aye.” He wraps more of his hot body around her.

“I pray Alex isn't going through the same thing.” She worries as she sinks against him.

“Me too but Mary is a kind lass. She will see to him.” She gets quiet as she strokes Adso. He is quiet with her, just holding her.

“Mary. You would have been better off with her.” She says as she watches the sun set out of her window.

“Claire, do you really believe that because I sure don't. I love you. Adore you. All of you. I wish you hadn't went through what you went through but only because it is hurting you so much not because your panic attacks are an inconvenience. Christ lass, I would take them if I could. You are everything to me. Bloody everything.”

“But Jamie…”

“Everything. There is no other lass I could possibly want now that you hold my heart. No one. We will get you through this. A team eh? Always.”

“She will have children.”

“So. I have you. A million bairns couldn’t take your place.”

“Jamie!” Her tears land on his hand. “God I do love you.”

“ Convenient that as I can't imagine one moment of my future without you in it. I love you Claire. So bloody much.” He holds her the rest of that night.

[captainsassmanes]

Prompt: After Alex finds out about Michael/ Maria he gives up on him and Michael ever being really together. He is convinced that he's the worst thing to happen to Michael. He tries to make Michael's life easier by avoiding him and helping with Project Shepherd. So when Michael breaks up with Maria because he realizes he's still in love with Alex, Alex doesn't understand why he wants to be with him and becomes super insecure in the relationship. So Michael has to show him they're still cosmic.

I took some liberties, anon. I hope that’s okay.

It had been the longest year of Alex’s life.

His seventeenth year living alone with his father had felt long. His first deployment felt long. The second even longer.

His first year being in Roswell with Michael but not being with Michael? The longest.

He’d been proud of himself when Michael and Maria sat him down, neither able to look him in the eye, on the back deck of the Pony, each of them looking across the empty field instead of at each other.

Alex had clamped down on his emotions, swallowed his protests and sadness, and smiled, as genuinely as his muscles would allow. He had nodded along as Maria did all the talking, explaining how Michael was always there to help her, there for her when her mom kept getting worse instead of better, made her feel safe and adored. He agreed when she said she deserved to be loved.

In the moment, he hadn’t been able to find the words. How could he express his happiness for his friend without breaking down with his own loss?

With a hug for Maria and a quick glance to a stoic Michael, Alex had left.

Sleep left him wanting that night. He moved from his bed to the shower to the porch to the bed to the couch, restless and uncomfortable. Without his permission, Alex kept imagining life from then on. There would be no way to avoid them and he knew, for his own sanity, those relationships had to be over. Maybe one day he’d rebuild with Maria though he couldn’t picture it now.

But Michael?

Alex sat with his third glass of whiskey, mindlessly petting a sleeping Buffy’s head, trying to slow his heart rate. It was done. He knew Michael was the one, his person, the one he wanted to spend his life with. He’d known it when he was surrounded by computers, orders being barked in his ears across the country. He’d known when his lungs were filled with hot, desert sand and his ears echoed with explosions. He’d known it as soon as Michael put a hand on him at the airstream, turning him around and stopping the world.

Michael was the one.

But he wasn’t his. And he never would be.

“May your happiness last forever,” he toasted with a slur to the darkness. With a swig, the dark liquid was gone and the glass landed on the floor with a loud clank. Clumsily, he took off his leg, fingers not moving the way his brain was commanding. Eventually he felt the sweet release of the last latch and tugged the sock off, tossing it onto the couch.

Somehow, he managed to get to the front porch, hopping and holding on to anything he could find, too unclear to remember where he last had his crutches. He landed with a groan on the rocking chair, holding his arms and rubbing to keep warm against the early morning chill. The sun was shining through the trees, casting large shadows next to pools of warmth on the ground.

As he watched the sunshine spread and claim its territory, Alex made his decision. He’d do the right thing by Michael. He’d get all the intel he could from Project Shepard and then shut that shit down for good, make sure Michael and the Evans were just another trio of nobodies from Roswell. And he’d do it all while staying away. Michael wanted easy, simple? Maria wasn’t the only one who could give him that. Alex could be a ghost, vanish into the background to give Michael a chance at the life he deserved.

Even if it wasn’t with him.

So, for a year, Alex was an enigma. He went to work during the day, boring data analysis he could do in his sleep. But at night, he used his clearance and the information he not so legally obtained to hack into old records, disbanded programs, anything that looked like it could possibly be associated with UFO investigations.

Kyle checked on him regularly, bringing him greasy bags of goodies from the Crashdown or his mom’s empanadas. He’d stay, sometimes, chatting about interesting cases at the hospital or quietly combing through new files, sometimes updating Alex about the latest town gossip.

Never about Michael, though.

The last month had been insane after he’d acquired the final pieces of the Shepard puzzle and handed them over to a newly risen Max with his five thousandth apology.

Max had squeezed the files in his hand, knuckles turning white and papers wrinkling, before pulling Alex into a surprise hug. Max had whispered an emotional, “thanks,” before letting him go and walking away. That moment felt final, like Alex could finally close the book on the disaster that was his family’s legacy. With his father in military prison for the foreseeable, Alex was finally free of obligation.

The next few nights after handing over the last of Shepard, Alex sat in the bunker, computers silent, only a few lights on, and breathed in the peace of it all. At first, he’d sit with a smile on his face, shoulders relaxed, and hands unfurled. He slept well for the first time in a long time. But on the third or fourth day, sitting in that bunker with no work to be done, no worries to be had, a new reality struck Alex.

He had no purpose. And no one.

His job was through. Responsibilities complete.

It was these thoughts running aimlessly through his mind that put him in his comfortable sweats with a glass of whiskey in his hand. As he decided a Scott Pilgrim rewatch sounded good, his phone rang, Kyle’s name popping up on the screen.

“Hi.”

“When were you gonna tell me, Manes?”

Alex stupidly looked around the cabin for the answer to Kyle’s question. “Tell you what, Valenti?”

A muffled scoff greeted Alex. “About you and Guerin? Liz just told me. I’m so happy for you, man!”

“Whoa, whoa,” Alex stood up from the couch too fast, spilling his drink a bit and trying to cover up the wet spot on the floor before Buffy came to get sloshed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“They split up, Alex.”

He froze, afraid that if he moved Kyle would say just kidding and his heart would shatter. He took a deep breath before mumbling, “I haven’t spoken to either of them in, like, a year.”

“Yeah I know that, you dumbass, but it doesn’t seem to matter.” Alex rolled his eyes at Kyle’s enthusiasm.

Grabbing some paper towels from the kitchen, Alex leaned over and cleaned up his mess, Buffy never moving from her prime location on the couch. “What doesn’t seem to matter, Kyle?”

“Ugh, oh my God you have to get out more! That he hasn’t seen you, Alex! He broke up with her for you! He still loves you!”

A wave of nerves moved through him but he was in strong denial. There was no way. They hadn’t seen each other, hadn’t spoken. Michael didn’t feel anything for him, at least nothing that wasn’t disgust and anger. Plus, Maria was perfect, they fit well together.

“This doesn’t make sense. If you’re fucking with me-“

“No chance in hell, dude. I would never mess with you over Guerin. Never.”

Alex dropped the towels and sat back on the couch, eyes staring at the black tv. “I’ve gotta go.” He hung up before Kyle could say another word and felt the phone fall out of his hand.

Hope.

He’d promised himself it was done, that he was done. Michael had made himself clear: loving Alex was the worst thing that ever happened to him. Alex had been determined the fix what he could to keep Michael and the people he loved safe. He did that. He did it while staying out of everyone’s way. He did exactly what he was supposed to, followed his plan to a T.

So why would they break up?

He grabbed a glass of water and downed it, gasping for air once it was gone. He refilled it and repeated one more time. Confused, scared and exhausted, Alex climbed into bed, a tolerant Buffy allowing him to hold her close. It took a few hours for sleep to come, so many scenarios and thoughts clouding his brain, keeping it too busy to shut down.

Eventually, he started counting Buffy’s soft snores and he fell into a restless sleep.

The sound of metal against metal woke Alex, hand instinctually reaching into his bedside table for his gun. But he paused when he noticed his room was filled with sunshine, Buffy was missing but not barking and his intruder was humming a Fall Out Boy tune he couldn’t find the name of.

He wiped his eyes and quietly slid his prosthetic on. Kyle must be in one of his moods. Maybe feeling guilty about the bullshit he called with the night before.

Turning the corner, kitchen in full view, Alex thought he might faint. Flipping pancakes in his cabin like he owned the place was Michael fucking Guerin.

The warm feeling that coursed through his chest couldn’t be denied. Michael looked perfect standing there, first thing in the morning, in his socks making breakfast. He was smiling, still humming the same song while Buffy sat wagging at his feet. Alex covered his mouth, physically restraining himself from speaking, afraid he’d beg Michael to never leave.

As he stood silently watching, that warmth turned to anger and bitterness. This was such an invasion of privacy. Alex knew he’d locked the door the night before. And, besides, they hadn’t spoken in months. Michael’s solution to that was to show up, uninvited? Play the domestic game?

“I don’t remember giving you a key,” Alex said when he found his voice and was confident he was in control again.

Michael jumped slightly but the smile never left his face. “You know me. Don’t need ‘em. Hope you’re hungry. Made your favorite.”

Moving a bit closer, Alex furrowed his brow, sure Michael had no clue what his favorite food was. Excitement flooded his veins as he watched Michael put the finishing touches on churro pancakes.

“Go on, sit down. I’ll grab you a coffee.”

Maybe it was the early hour or the shock of seeing Michael or some combination of both, but Alex moved in a daze to the small table and took a seat, wrapping his hands around the mug of perfectly made coffee Michael placed in front of him.

When the churro pancakes slid under his chin, Alex was pulled out of his shock.

“Michael, what the hell is this?”

He got a smirk in return, all straight, white teeth and plump, pink lips. “Just tryin’ to do something nice, Private.”

“Why now?”

With a mouthful of pancakes, Michael shrugged and asked, “why not now?”

Alex pushed his plate away, stomach churning with anxiety. “It’s been a year, Guerin. Your relationship had its run and now you don’t wanna be alone? So, where’s Alex? Bet he’s just sitting there, alone and pathetic, waiting.”

Michael shook his head and straightened his posture. “No, that’s not what this is.”

“Then what is it?” Alex stood and walked outside, needing space and more air than the cabin could offer. He gripped the wood railing, counting his breaths and listening to the birds chattering. The sun was pushing through the branches, tossing light here and there, a sliver of it landing on Alex’s hand, warming one up while the other stayed cool.

The door squeaked open and he heard Buffy’s paws on the decking before he felt Michael standing next to him, giving off a warmth he missed.

“I’m gonna make an assumption so I apologize in advance if I’m wrong.” Michael sounded hesitant, unsure. He waited for a response from Alex but must have decided he wouldn’t be getting one. “You’ve always hated Roswell.” Alex raised his eyebrows, his body naturally responding to the truth.

“I’m guessing you didn’t realize it was the only place that felt like home until you were overseas.”

Alex didn’t know what to say. The idea of agreeing with Michael didn’t sit right with him but he couldn’t deny that while he was spending nights in makeshift tents and praying the last bomb was the last bomb, he wasn’t dreaming of Roswell.

“So, you always hated me?”

Michael laughed and shook his head. “Jesus, we’re so good at this communication shit, huh?”

Alex laughed, too, and looked out over the property, watching a squirrel grab an acorn and run off with his treasure, holding it selfishly in its paw. “I guess so.”

“You left me. You helped me realize I was bi, you were so nice to me and then you were gone. I resented you for ten years.”

“Michael, I told you that I shouldn’t have-“

“Shut up. Just let me finish.” Alex pouted as Michael raised his hand. “When you came back, I hoped. I was an ass about it sometimes, I know, but I hoped we had a shot, that you still felt the same way about me. About us. But you didn’t want to be seen with me, didn’t want people to know about us, you pushed me away over and over again. So, after everything, with my mom…”

“You needed someone who’d stay close.”

Michael nodded and looked at his boots, kicking a twig onto the dirt. “I didn’t choose Maria to hurt you.”

Alex scoffed, “fucking felt like it, though.”

“Well, I didn’t.”

Alex shook his head, his bottle of empathy run dry. “I told you I loved you. That I wanted to start over again. I was ready.”

Michael nodded. “I didn’t believe you. And I shouldn’t have to work on your timeline.”

Alex tilted his head toward the cabin. “Okay. So why should I have to work on yours now?”

Michael bit his lip and looked toward the trees. “Fair enough.”

They stood in silence, listening to the sounds of undisturbed nature around them. Alex was still angry, filled with confusion and caution, but he’d be lying if he said simply being in Michael’s presence didn’t bring him comfort.

“I don’t get your analogy.”

Turning, Michael leaned against the banister and Alex had to look away. With his tight t-shirt and curls blowing in the breeze, Michael looked like a fucking dream.

“The war analogy?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, that one.”

“It’s a bad one, but I convinced myself I didn’t love you. Then I was with someone else I know I loved and realized it’d never come close to how I feel about you.”

Blinking rapidly, Alex refused to cry. When he knew he had control of his voice, he asked, “are you gonna look away again?”

Michael slowly slid his hand into Alex’s and squeezed. “Never.”

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 237

Amber

Alex walks into the living room. She looks around the room then standing there staring at Chris and the little girl Lexi. I glance at them then I glance back at her. She jumps as Jamaal walks into the room behind her touching her waist as he slides pass her into the room. I frown. Umm. She not going off on him about touching her.

"I didn't mean for you to spend your time playing princesses." Jamaal says to Chris. "I'll take over."

"What you talking bout?" Chris says.

Jamaal makes a face. "You having fun, dawg?"

Chris looks at him. "At first I was like... peesh. It's a simple little girl's game. But I finally figured out how to defeat this guy."

"Daddy, Chris showed me how to fly. Look." She says making her person fly.

"I see."

I look away from them looking at Alex. She rolls her eyes then looks at me. I slowly push myself up off the couch. I was like 2 minutes from being sleep. Chris insisted I sit in here. He hovering over me. It's too early in this pregnancy for that. Alex spins around when I get to her walking away. I follow her towards the front of the house.

"Why are we going outside?" I ask slowly.

"Tell them." She hisses.

I follow her outside. It was dark as shit out here. Nobody is ever in the front of the house. I jump looking to my right into the darkness. As I stare my eyes slowly adjust to dim light. It's fucking Cammie sitting on a swing.

"Bae, why are you outside?" I ask going over to her.

"I just wanted to... breathe. Felt like I couldn't breathe in there." She says then hold out her arms. "What are y'all doing?"

I go over and fall into her arms. "I don't know this slut voodoo eyes me out here."

Alex sits on a Bush. I stare at her. It must not be a damn Bush cause her ass should be on the ground. She wipes her eyes. I sit up.

"Oh fucking hell." I snap slightly above a whisper. "Who the fuck I got to fight? Bae, you got tears in your eyes?"

"Who?" Cammie says looking at Alex. "Your shit that heavy?"

Alex covers her face with one hand. I get up and pull her off whatever she was sitting on. I pull her over to the swing. Cammie grabs her forcing her down on the swing. We both just hug her as she cries. Damn. She got me bout to cry.

"Oh my gosh." Cammie says wiping her own face. "What is fucking... like what the fuck is going on?"

"I don't want this baby." Alex whisper. "I can't."

Cammie shakes her head. "Your shit hitting home. Please stop."

"How the fuck is it hitting home?" Alex says sitting up.

"It's hitting hard." I nod wiping my face.

Alex wasn't having it. She tries to get up but doesn't try very hard. We all in situations where we feel like that. We all been there. Shit I'm there right now.

"You act like you don't fucking know who your baby's father is." Alex says all broken up.

"I might know who he is but do you know who he is?" I snap.

"Girl." Cammie says. "It ain't the situation but the situation. Do I have to replay the first year of my son's life? Do you really want to hear how I hated every part of my son before he even had a heart beat. Bitch please."

Alex just cries.

"Hell I got pregnant by his ass not even sure I wanted to continue being in a relationship. What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"There is nothing wrong with you." We all jump looking over at April. She stands in front of the swing. "What is this?"

I shake my head. "A fucking sight to see."

"I heard crying and whispering." April says pointing to a window.

I look behind me. JJ is sitting there looking out the window at us. He looks down at a cellphone but stays in the window.

"What is JJ doing?" Cammie chuckles a bit.

"I told him I had to go see. I told him to look out the window cause it was dark. I figured it was Amber out here crying not Alex. What's going on with you?"

Alex shakes her head saying nothing. Cammie exhales.

"Imma just act like you talking to me." Cammie says. "Finally talked to my mother about this shit that happened in college. She just storms out the room then comes back talking about herself. I mean she was talking shit about herself but it was still about her. I don't know."

"Mmh." April says sitting down where Alex was before. "I ain't following you up cause I think your mother has always done her best."

Cammie sucks her teeth. "Whatever."

April being a bad ass, as expected. "You put up this wall for no one to climb but who you let in then you get mad when someone is exhausted after trying for years to climb your ridiculous shit pile."

"So it's my fucking fault?" Cammie fires back.

"That she can't get close to you... yes." April shrugs. "I'm not going to lie to you ever. You know that."

Only thing keeping Cammie on this swing is Alex, who was sitting there stunned. As we all were. I shake my head.

"Maybe my shit not deep." I sigh. "I'm just so worried that all this will be for nothing. All it takes is an argument with Chris. I can't live my life scared to argue with him. He so damn petty when he mad. His pettiness is usually deep. Some of the shit he has done in his past relationships..."

"You are the one fucking him." Alex says looking at me. "You knew all this before you fucked him. Then you get in a fucking relationship with the jackass?"

I suck my teeth standing up. "Why do you hate him so much? Tell me that. Is it the opposite?"

Alex shrugs. "I don't hate him. I don't know him to hate him or fucking love him."

"Love doesn't make you fuck people." I shrug.

"Bitch." Alex says about to get up but Cammie holds her down. "You don't fucking know me. Think your shit so shiny and clean? Don't nobody want fucking Chris. That's your damn problem. I got enough of them. Obviously."

"Whatever."

April stands up. "What is going on? What about this is making you so angry?"

Alex finally gets away from Cammie and storms off without saying anything. I put my hands on my hips. April looks in the direction Alex went then starts walking behind her. Let her trainwreck ass go.

"Don't nobody even got time for her shit." I say.

"Amber, why are you still with Chris?" Cammie asks.

"Are you going to judge me too?"

Cammie sucks her teeth. "Bitch, calm down. Damn. Just wanted to know. I didn't think you still felt like that."

"What I honestly feel is that I'm stuck. I see the positive that our relationship has done for him. It has benefited me none. But getting out of it would do more damage to him than positive to me. Leaving him could even destroy me."

"Destroy you? How is... All of you fucking famous assholes always base your happiness on your fame. Who gives a fuck? Like seriously Amber. I can't believe you sitting up here thinking about your career. You could lose your bestfriend. You knew this going into the relationship. You let it get too far to talk like this. Fuck a career. Fuck money. That's all a fucking bonus now. Whether your relationship last for the next year or the next 40 years you got a child on the way."

I suck my teeth. "I fucking know that."

Cammie crosses her arms. "What then?"

"You can't fucking excuse my shit because you fucking feel like it's irrelevant. This is my life. It's something I worked my ass off for."

"What is going on?" MiMi says walking up. "My son comes tell me that they fighting outside. I didn't think it was y'all."

Cammie stands up. "I was out here trying to get some fresh air until reality followed me out here and I realized shit don't work like that."

"What?" MiMi says looking between us.

"I'm fucking going home." Cammie says walking away.

MiMi stares at me. "What?"

"She said she going home." I shrug.

Trey

I chuckle at the video I was watching. Cammie comes into the room going into the bathroom. She comes back out a few minutes later without a shirt. I start to tell her to come over to me but I sit up in the bed instead.

"Bae?" I say to see if her attitude matched how she looked.

"I'm going home." She says.

Oh shit. Worst than I thought. I stand up. I mean damn I thought shit was getting better. I don't really know what to say. I didn't do shit to her. I go over to her cautiously. Maybe we can talk about it. I just sigh and fold up the things she was putting out on the chair. She stops suddenly and look at me.

"What are you doing?" She snaps.

"We been here long enough." I say continuing to fold her things.

She just stares at me. She goes back to putting things on the chair. I mean what else should I do? The truth is that we been here long enough. Staying here not going to fix shit. Going home not going to fix shit either.

"All I wanted to do was take a break and get myself together. But they brought all of their shit over to me. Like I have too much going on. I can't deal with everybody else's problems plus all of mine." Cammie vents.

"Who?"

She sucks her teeth. "It doesn't even matter."

"Everybody has problems. Sometimes it's easier to dump them on our people without realizing what they got going on."

"I didn't ask anybody to come here and deal with my problems."

Well gotdamn. I didn't say that. "I mean we didn't. But friends sometimes feel obliged."

Cammie knocks all of the clothes down on the floor. "So I'm fucking the one. I'm the fucking one being selfish Tremaine?"

"Jayla." I say once again confused. "I just folded all of those."

"Fuck you, Tremaine."

"Fuck me?" I ask dumbfounded.

Jayla starts crying out of nowhere. "I don't have the fucking energy to do this, Tremaine. I don't fucking feel like any of this."

Someone knocks on the bedroom door. "Everyone descent?"

"Yeah." I say looking back at Cammie's stepfather, Lonnie. "You made it safely."

"Physically." He says walking across the room to Cammie. "Pippi?"

Cammie sucks her teeth. "I don't feel like it right now."

He gets to her and hug her against her will. "When do you ever feel like it Pippi?"

"Pippi?" I ask.

"Pippi Longstockings of course." Lonnie says hugging Cammie as she turns away from him a bit.

I started to go tell him to get off of her but then she starts crying again and hugs him back. I shake my head and pick up the clothes her ass threw on the floor. Cammie is everybody's fucking baby. Her ass is gotdamn spoiled. Acting like a brat and getting excused for it. He just simply said fuck it I'm going to hug you regardless of your shit. He used to her shit. I look up at them. He was talking low to her. I don't know what he was saying but she had stopped her damn crying. He kisses her forehead and walks away.

"Nice seeing you, Trey. I'll let you get back to your cleaning."

"That was weird as shit." I say after he closes the door. "Jayla?"

She plops down on the clothes in the chair. "Tremaine?"

I put my dick on her shoulder. "Jayla?"

"Maybe a shower will cool me down." She says walking away.

"Maybe a husband in the shower?"

She chuckles looking back at me. "I mean any husband?"

I start running towards her. She just stands there laughing. She puts her hands up when I get close to her. I grab her lifting her up and walking to the shower. She squeezes her eyes shut then open them looking behind her. This bathroom didn't really have a shower door. It had a half glass wall that basically served as a splash guard. I put her down behind the wall. And start kissing on her like I haven't tasted her a million times before. She moans slightly taking our clothes off. I kiss her chest after she removes her dress. She takes a deep breath. I kneel down sliding her panties off and kissing her pussy. I suck on her clit. Suddenly the water turns on. I stand up.

"How the hell that..."

"Tremaine?" She says then laughs. "I touched the control."

I look at the wall. "That shit all the way over there."

She reaches out her arms. "Not really."

I press up against her. "Turn around."

"Tremaine." She giggles but does it.

I grab her hips and bring them back to my dick. When I feel her pussy I ram my dick inside of her. She gasps then moans. I felt weak as shit. I lean my weight on her grinding into her pussy as I bust. I shake my head. Gotdamn. I move inside of her until my dick gets hard. She was moaning as if it never went limp. I bite the back of her neck. She presses against me moaning softly. I think we both fucked around and busted with one gotdamn stroke. I pull her hips back and forth on my dick then I let go. She continues moving her hips.

"Fuck. Good girl." I say smacking her ass.

I met each of her movements with a thrust of my own. She slides her upper body down the wall toward the floor. I lift her back up stepping up to the wall and pressing her against it. Suddenly everything stops. Cammie spins around looking behind me. I sigh then look back. Oh shit. It was Cammie's fucking mother. I back up behind the half wall. I pull Cammie to me when she doesn't move.

"Lane?" Gwen says.

"I use this bathroom Grandma." Lane says standing in the floor.

I could see her clear as day and she could see us clear as day. It was just cold water running. There was no stream whatsoever. I glance back at Cammie. She covers her face then she makes the water warmer. Like that fucking matters right now. The thing was that the toilet Lane was persistent about using was across from us. He would see us around the half wall. I'm grateful for the half wall but we weren't behind the shit at first. Don't know if Cammie's mom saw us fucking or just heard it.

"Maybe we should use the other bathroom." Gwen says looking up at me when I look at them. "A less crowded one."

"I got to poop, Grandma."

She grabs his hand. "You can poop in the other bathroom."

He fights with her. "Not by myself. Nobody in there."

"Well who in here?" She asks grabbing his hand again.

"Mommy?" Lane whines suddenly unsure.

Cammie shakes her head. "Yes Lane."

He gets happy. "Mommy in here."

"Let's go see who in the other bathroom."

"Grandma April not there." He says sad.

"I have a bathroom." She says successfully taking him with her out the bathroom. "I'll be right there."

"Jayla?" I say turning to Cammie.

She shakes her head. "Tremaine, don't."

"That shit was paralyzing." I say walking to her.

"I'm not in the mood. That's embarrassing."

"You not in the mood?" I ask grabbing her waist.

She sighs. "Tremaine?"

I kiss her lips. "We not finishing?"

"Mommy?" Lane whines. "Mommy?"

"Nope." Cammie kisses me.

Lane sits a step down by the toilet. "Mommy!"

Lane starts dancing by the toilet. Cammie walks away from me going to him. He looks up at me for the first time as she takes his underwear off. He didn't fucking need her to do that. He just being a jackass. Little spoiled ass. He steps up on his stool really fast and sits down. He passes gas and laughs about it.

"No see me Mommy." He says shooing her away.

"Your stank butt." She walks to the shower then pushes me.

I grab her going towards the water. "Jayla?"

"You know your son can see you." She whispers.

"He don't care." I say looking at him.

I turn her towards him. He had his eyes closed swinging his feet and singing like he always does. She giggles. I kiss her neck. He only two. He don't fucking care about what we doing. He will forget it anyway.

"Love you, Lane." I say.

"Daddy." He whines. "I pooping."

I laugh. "Sorry, homie."

[alexia-exalias-ask]

Trust-me

Since the tragic event with Henrietta's father, Exalia cannot help but be very tense about what she has discovered. How could he hurt her? and again, for a long time ?! 

She and Alexia kept it for a while and ended up settling in with someone else. Not because they didn't want to keep it for long. On the contrary, they would be delighted to keep it under their roof (especially for Exalia) but let's say that it could be financially complicated to have a second dependent (especially a minor) and in the cases, Henrietta had made her decision not to not stay. Exalia was quite upset by her sudden departure despite having tried to hold her back. But without really forcing her and especially not making her feel guilty. 

Henrietta promised to always see her when she could and to continue going out as they always do. But this time she wanted to know where is she taking refuge. She couldn't hold back any longer. 

At the end of their meeting, they left in front of Exa's accommodation and Henrietta left as soon as Exalia turned around. She waited until she advanced further to follow her from afar. They continued their routes until Henrietta entered a house and this stopped the pursuit for Exalia. 

She examined the house in the smallest detail to immediately leave the place to return 

Arriving at home, she goes back to her room to change herself until she hears a voice that was ringing in her ear. 

"It's unhealthy what you're doing." 

And a silouette appeared in the mirror which is only its creator. 

"I don't see how it concerns you ..."

"Exa! Do you realize what you're doing !? You just stalked to girlfriend up to her new house! Did you think what would happen if you got noticed ?! How would she see you after that? !? "

 "I had to do it"

 "Exalia ... you have become TOO possessive and suspicious since that evening! I'm afraid you will make the same mistakes you made in the past ..." 

"NO ... shut up! I already told you never to talk about this again! And I have always been like that and it will not change!" 

"I have always been like this since I was born, representing your faults repressing that you sank in your thoughts. I have been with you, with ... this girl and I would remain so as such with Henrietta. Even if ... if I wanted to change, not be like that anymore. It won't work! "

"But ... there ... you were about to follow her home. I feel like ... you don't trust her ..." 

But at his words, she was too hard to hear for Exalia who began to burst out in anger.

 "I TRUST HER, ALEX! I ALWAYS DO TO HER! THESE ARE THE OTHERS I DON'T HAVE! I can't stand losing someone I love sentimentally." 

And tears started to flow down her face. 

"I don't want to lose her ... "

"I can't ... not again ..." 

She went to the bed and hid her face on the pillow, crying unstoppable tears. Alexia got out of the mirror to approach her. 

"Exa! Exa! Exalia! Look at me! Look at me ~ 

She pulled her face out of the pillow and Alex take her hand. 

"Listen to me. You will not lose her because you love her as she loves you too. She is very grateful for all that you have done. But know that there are limits which must not be crossed. Just ... trust her and ask her if you want to know where she lives. If she refuses to tell you, give her time to let her tell you. It's very difficult to change your life so suddenly. " 

"Yeah ... You are probably right. You really are a wise woman" 

"I am wisdom and you are strength of mind"

"For others than for us"

"Come on! Let's go to sleep. The night was long ..." 

"Yeah ... Here" 

Exalia transformed to leave the place for Alexia 

"Thank you ... Oh! Ed sent me a message!" 

"What's wrong with him yet?" she said mockingly 

Alexia doesn't answer but she smiles after reading the message

 "Yep ... whatever he says, you're in love" 

"Good night"

"Good night too Al

(To be continue)

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 15.03: “The Rupture”

THEN: Ghost/spirits/whatever, blah blah blah. The only thing of note here is that they choose to remind us that Sam is fated to kill Rowena. But I'm sure that doesn't mean anything. There are tons of reasons to include this. Tons.

NOW: We're still in Whatever-this-place-is-called, Kansas. Ghosts/spirits/whatever are still flinging themselves against the barrier. Sam's still in charge of the hunter troops. Expanded Team Free Will is back in the graveyard and they've got a plan that Rowena insists will work. It's a powerful spell that will "patch those holes up" in time for tea. (Rowena is back in a dramatic gown today, but I don't like the casual jacket she's wearing with it.) All she needs is a ghost-free space, which happens to be the mausoleum the gang found in 15.01. No one's thrilled about that. We also see the opening to Hell itself, which is a giant hole in the ground. It doesn't seem to give anyone PTSD, though.

[[MORE]]

The gang salts the perimeter of the mausoleum while Rowena mixes up her spell, and right away something evil starts banging on the doors. She recites something not-English, her eyes glow purple, and we see the battered barrier glowing purple as well. But then she looks disturbed and the purple glow fades and she gets more and more upset and then collapses. "We're all going to die!" she says.

Title card!

Rowena asks for a drink and then has to clarify that she means "a real drink," and we have a cute wordless conversation where Sam requests Dean's flask, Dean says what, MY flask, Sam says yes, asshole, and Dean says sigh, okay. It's precious.

It is, unfortunately, impossible to screencap, but I'm sure someone will GIF it. In the meanwhile, let's enjoy concerned Winchesters.

Rowena says the spell can't work because the spirits are too wild, too desperate, too angry, and too numerous. No magic on earth can stop "those walls" from falling. Within hours. (Did we really explain the walls? I guess it's the walls between earth and Hell? And why plural?) Dean decides they're going to keep fighting as long as they can. He tells Rowena to make more of those soul collectors, but she says it's pointless. Probably because Sam's wearing the orange jacket, so she doesn't see any reason to prolong the agony. She says she may have been able to shore up the wall if she'd gotten there sooner, but now the wall is too damaged for her to save.

Belphagar leaves, ignoring Dean's "where the Hell are you going!" and Cas goes after him. Dean continues yelling that they're not going to give up, that's not who they are, and Sam silences him with a single hand motion because he knows how I feel about him being Chiefly. Sam crouches next to Rowena and puts a concerned hand on her shoulder and asks if she needs anything because he knows I also love him being soft and concerned.

Who DOESN'T know?

Hey, if you don't want to read some serious Sam fangirling, you're in the wrong place. You should realize this by now.

Belphagar and Cas are out in the cemetery, where no one is bothering them even though something was knocking pretty vigorously on the mausoleum door. Belphagar wanted to look at the giant hole into Hell. "Where it all began."

Meanwhile, Dean's loading up. He's not just going to wait for the world to end, he's going out fighting.

He's angry and backlit, and I love both of those things.

Sam sits next to him and they have a lovely dark conversation where Sam says he's out of ideas but acts like he thinks there still must be something they can do, and Dean says Chuck's "sloppy-ass ghostpocalypse" isn't going to be the last word and acts like he thinks there's nothing they can do but die fighting. And Rowena just sits sad and quiet and alone, paging through the Book of the Damned. I do like that she kept it and uses it in front of the Winchesters. But she says she hasn't found anything useful.

Back outside, Belphagor says the opening in the ground isn't a door or a gate, it's a tear. And he has a plan. "Lilith's Crook" is a horn that Lilith used to control her demons - it can corral all demons and bring them back home. (BTW, nobody reacts to the name Lilith either. It's like seasons three through five never happened.) It's in Lilith's chamber, which is unsealed now that every door in Hell is open. If Belphagor uses it in Hell, all the demons and spirits will be sucked into Hell, and then Rowena can close the door once they're not pushing against it.

Rowena confirms that she has "a spell of my own devising" that she could use to close the door. Well, she said earlier that there were any number of spells she could have tried earlier, so surely this is one of those spells. It's a healing spell - if the opening is a wound, not a door, this will allow it to heal and close up. Sounds reasonable.

It will require perfect timing, and she'll need some strangely easy-to-obtain ingredients (which seems to be a theme this season, doesn't it). And an assistant. "Dibs on Samuel. You're as close to a seasoned witch as we've got in this lot." (!!!)

She also needs someone to hang out at the edge of the hole and toss the figurative "bomb." And it will be dangerous, so Dean naturally decides that's his job. Belphagor drafts Cas to go with him, since he'll need help getting past all the pissed-off demons and ghosts who will be down there. "Yeah, Cas will go," Dean says coldly. "You've been to Hell before." Well, I mean, everyone in this room has been to Hell before (assuming we count Rowena's visit to Limbo as Hell), so. Cas glares at Dean, clearly thinking yes, I harrowed Hell to raise you, and I regret it every day.

Cold and yet HOT.

Hospital. Ketch wakes up just in time to get killed by the demon Ardat, who astutely notes that he's protecting his friends and won't give them up. There's your redemption arc, Arthur Ketch. I hope you enjoyed it. Moving on. (Also, doesn't Ardat look like a cross between Joanna Gaines and Meghan Markle?)

Cemetery. Belphagor asks Cas how he's going to get out of Hell before Rowena seals it up, and makes sure Cas realizes that his buddies don't care that he might not make it out. Cas pushes Belphagor into the hole and jumps in after him.

Mausoleum. A hunter shows up with supplies and Sam gives her directions on what to do "if this goes sideways," even though those directions should probably be "kiss your ass goodbye." Dean gets a text from "Ketch" and responds by laying out their plan and providing their location. Uh oh.

Hell. It's actually mostly empty. Belphagor claims he made Cas come because he just wanted company, and he wants to become best buds with Cas, having wormed his way into the Winchester's hearts. "Sam and Dean are just using you," Cas says. "Don't mistake that for caring about you, because I can assure you, they don't." OH, CAS, YOU WOULD KNOW, WOULDN'T YOU. Cas reminds Belphagor that he's an abomination, and then opens the door to Lilith's chamber, which is being looted by another demon. Belphagor's friendly with the guy, but Cas kills him. Awkward.

The crook is in a box marked up with Enochian symbols, which apparently couldn't be read by any residents of Hell other than Lilith. (Well, we can assume the residents of the cage could read it, but.) Good thing Cas is here! So convenient. The markings are actually a song of praise to Lucifer. Cas reads it, but nothing happens, and Belphagor says "They're verses, Cas. I think they need to be sung." We don't have to listen to Cas sing the whole thing, but we do get Belphagor mocking his angelic voice.

The demon then tells Cas to make his escape, which kind of surprises me - I was sure this set-up wasn't meant to end with Cas surviving. Cas tentatively holds the horn out to Belphagor, but then is flung across the room by none other than Ardat. She expositions for us that Lilith's Crook would have allowed Belphagor to rule Hell. She begins to smack Belphagor down, but Cas attacks, and holds her off long enough for Belphagor to stab her with his angel blade.

Cas asks him if it's true he wants to rule Hell, and he's all, no, I want to rule EVERYTHING. He'll suck the power of all of the souls into him, and he'll become a God. "I don't think so," says Cas, and runs toward him. But Belphagor blows the horn, and the ghosts/spirits/whatevers start flowing back into Hell, and into Belphagor.

Cemetery. Dean approaches the hole and wonders where Ketch is.

Mausoleum. Sam is anxious, and wants to be outside, fighting. Rowena makes him read the book as she prepares the spell. (What is he reading? He's not reading aloud. What's the point? Is he memorizing it?) When they hear Belphagor blow the horn, Rowena announces "it's time." She and Sam hold hands (d'aw) and recite the spell. I guess he was memorizing it after all. The spell bowl begins to glow purple, as does the "bomb" I didn't even realize Dean was holding. Dean tosses it into the hole without even wondering if Cas will make it out. So I guess he's still mad at Cas, if you were wondering.

Hell. Cas finally makes his way to Belphagor and tackles him, stopping the horn. As Cas punches the demon, his sunglasses fall off, and he looks up at Cas with his burned-out eyes and pleads for him to stop. "It's me, Jack." Gotta say, Alex does a good job here of playing someone trying to sound like Jack and not quite succeeding. I was afraid Cas would fall for it, but he doesn't. In fact, this inspires him to do the glowy hand thing and burn Belphagor - and Jack's corpse - to a crisp. Too bad you didn't wait until he sucked up all the souls, Cas.

Topside. Sam calls Dean and learns that something doesn't feel right, and the crack is closing up. Meanwhile, Rowena picks up a knife and plunges it into her own shoulder. As Sam watches in horror, she reaches in and pulls out "my last resurrection sachet - won't need that where I'm going." She tells him the Lilith's Crook plan may have been his only shot, but she still has an option. Because magic can contain anything. Even Hell, as long as she's willing to pay the price.

Horrified/confused Sam. Mmmmm.

She tells him "death is an infinite vessel" but he doesn't get it yet. All she needs for this spell are two ingredients. Sam's all, you have them here? Why didn't you tell us? "Because, dear, the first ingredient is my own still-coursing blood, and the last is my final breath." She'll absorb all the spirits and then throw herself Hell (!!!) and then, when her body eventually rots and the spirits are released, they'll be back in Hell. (So I guess she has to toss the wound-healing spell in there too, somehow, but that's just details.) Sam tries to stop her with the Single Upraised Finger of Reason, but not only does she ignore that finger, she tells Sam he has to be the one to kill her. Y'all, I always love the Single Upraised Finger of Reason.

I would obey this finger.

Topside. Cas made it out of the Hell. Wow, I was worried there for a minute.

Mausoleum. Rowena insists Sam has to be the one to kill her, because the spell requires her "real, permanent demise," and Sam's the only one who can do that. It's in the books. "You know what?" says Sam "Screw the books." YES SAM.

Topside. Cas tells Dean he killed Belphagor and the crook was destroyed.

Mausoleum. Sam tries to take the knife from Rowena, but she holds it against her body. "I don't care about anything enough to take my own life. Not you, your brother, not even the world. But I believe in prophecy, I believe in magic, and everything we need to end this is right in our hands." I don't know, Rowena. Those books you're so insistent on believing? They've been known to change. Sam rests the knife against her but he's still fighting it, even though she's shouting "kill me, Samuel!"

Then she clamps a hand on his shoulder and says "I know we've gotten quite fond of each other, haven't we? But will you let the world die? Let your brother die? Just so I can live?" Oh, well, that was the right thing to say, wasn't it? (Also, can we just appreciate Rowena admitting she's quite fond of Sam?)

Topside: Dean yells at Cas. "This was our only shot! What the hell were you thinking?" I like that Dean doesn't even consider that Cas may have had a very good reason for killing a demon.

Mausoleum. Sam says a shaky little "no" and I think he's saying no, I'm not going to kill you but I am so wrong, because he goes in for what looks like a hug but he's actually plunging the knife into her abdomen. He holds her close as he stabs her and then pulls back to look in horror at what he's done. Rowena PUTS HER HAND ON HIS FACE AND SAYS "THAT'S MY BOY" AND SHE'S NOT DEAD YET BUT I AM. Then she pushes the blade in further, because apparently Sam didn't do it hard enough, which brings up an interesting question - what if Sam's stab wasn't fatal? Does any of this still count?

SAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!!

Topside. As Rowena walks to the Hell hole, all of the spirits are seen flowing into her wound. I want Sam to hug her again, without a knife (OMG IMAGINE IF SAM HAD TO ACTUALLY PUSH HER INTO THE HOLE) but instead they hang back. She turns and says "goodbye boys," just like her son did, stands at the edge, and then dramatically falls into the hole just before it closes. Sad MacLeod music! (which I rather like)

Goodbye, boys.

Aftermath! Sam's sitting sadly on his bed. Dean comes in wearing a single layer, and it's a henley, and Sam's entire shirt is unbuttoned, so thank you baby Jesus for this bit of comfort we surely need after all that hurt. He asks how Sam is holding up, and Sam doesn't answer that question. He just wipes his eyes and makes a how do you think noise and asks if there's any word from Stevie, who I guess is one of the other hunters. Yeah, and the word is that the town is good, but Ketch is dead. "Bad. Probably demon."

We did it though, man. It's over. God threw one last apocalypse at us, and we beat it.

...

Yep.

What you did. Rowena. You didn't have a choice.

...

I know.

Oh, Sam! His soft sad little "yep," his reaction to Ketch, the way his little face scrunches up when Dean says Rowena's name... And Dean's trying to hard to be supportive.

Oh boys.

Aftermath part 2. Dean's drinking whiskey when Cas comes in and asks how Sam is. Dean's very short with him, and asks why he didn't just follow the plan. Because sure, Belphagor was going to suck up all the power of every soul in Hell and become the worst Big Bad ever, but Dean thinks they just would have figured that out afterward. And Dean has a point, but I don't know if it's the one he thinks he has. Cas didn't know Rowena had a self-sacrificial Plan B in mind. The only information he had was that if Belphegor didn't trap all the spirits in Hell, they'd end up destroying the world. And he killed Belphegor anyway. So yeah, Dean's mad because Rowena is dead, but the issue IMHO isn't that Cas's actions forced Rowena to take extreme measures, it's that they would have destroyed the world had she not been able to do that.

The plan changed, Dean. Something went wrong. You know this. Something always goes wrong.

Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?

You used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt. Now you can barely look at me. My powers are failing and I've tried to talk to you over and over and you just don't want to hear it. You don't care. I'm dead to you. You still blame me for Mary. I don't think there's anything left to say.

Where you going?

Jack's dead. Chuck's gone. You and Sam have each other. I think it's time for me to move on.

Sad Winchester music!

Oh. Wow. That was really cold, Dean. Now you're not trying to be supportive at all.

But we get your angry face, which I adore.

So! There's a lot packed into this episode, isn't there? So many deaths. I was surprised that both Belphegor and Ardat bit it, since I presumed one or both of them would be Big Bads this year. Are we down to just Chuck, then? There's also whatever Billie is cooking up with dead Jack; I guess that could be badness. Ketch is gone, which I'm honestly fine with. The only bad thing about Cas walking out is that it means we're going to have a separate Cas plot again, which I'm not thrilled about. And Rowena. I mean, I love her and will miss her, but I should be gutted, and I'm not. Is it because I know we're saying goodbye to all of them soon anyway? Is it because I've decided this is going to happen? Maybe.

But that's so many deaths for one episode. Is this the endgame? Just killing every supporting character we can think of?

And let me just point out that if any of this plot feels familiar - Rowena recognizes Sam as a witch and has him do a spell, secretly comes up with a world-saving spell that requires her death, and forces Sam to fulfill his prophecy by stabbing her, no matter how hard he protests - if any of this feels the slightest bit familiar, could it be because I ALREADY WROTE IT? Maybe.

(Waves to Robert Berens, who surely reads my LJ.)

Anyway. Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!

[cocastyle]

Mamma Mia - Chapter 6

Pairing - Tony Stark x reader, Steve Rogers x reader, Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count- 3,206

Warning- none

A/N- chapter 6 is now up! I hope you all are liking this story so far! comment who you think Y/N will end up with as of right now. I already have a plan but I want to know what you all think!

Intro Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

By the time Y/N remembered that she had a lot of things to fix around the hotel, her and her friends had all grown a little tipsy from the wine they had been drinking. Natasha, Pepper, and Wanda were in the middle of laughing about something when Y/N shot up from her seat, stumbling onto her feet.

"Oh, my God! I have so much to do. I'll be back. I've got to go fix some of the doors around here and I'm pretty sure someone told me this morning that there was a crack in my courtyard that I gotta go fix and-" Y/N continued to ramble faster and faster until Wanda stood up and put her hand on the girl's shoulders.

"Y/N, deep breaths," Wanda reminded the girl. Y/N nodded and took in a few deep breaths while Wanda continued to talk. "You need to calm down, relax for a minute. We haven't all been together in a long time, so just sit and talk for a few more minutes. You deserve the break."

"No, no, I can't," Y/N shook her head. "There's so much to do and I need to make sure that Alex's wedding is perfect and-" Before she could finish the sentence, Natasha, Pepper, and Wanda had all pulled the girl back down on the couch they had been sitting on.

"Sit down!" Pepper exclaimed while Natasha held the girl down on the couch. Y/N let out a laugh from the tipsiness and exclaimed, "Nat, let me go!" The red head ignored her while Wanda just chuckled as she sat down next to Pepper.

"Listen, Y/N," Pepper spoke up. "I know you're going to make a fortune with Peter’s website, but are you gonna be okay until then?"

"Ooo, I think Pepper is offering to pawn her bling," Natasha said, her eyes flickering to look at Y/N. "Now's your chance to become filthy rich in a matter of seconds," Wanda muttered jokingly. "I say the facial cream is the first to go," Natasha teased making Pepper roll her eyes.

"No, seriously, Y/N," Pepper said. "Oh, my God," Y/N muttered with a shake of her head, guilt washing over her as she realized that she must've been complaining a lot for her friend to think she needed help.

"Do you need a loan?" Pepper asked sincerely. "No, Pep. Oh, God no," Y/N said as she sat up and shook her head. "I'm just whining and complaining like always. I don't need to be taken care of."

"Yeah, but are you being taken care of?" Pepper asked. "I've got Wanda to keep me thinking straight and Alex and Peter are always helping out," Y/N said.

Pepper chuckled and shook her head, "That's not what I meant." "Then what do you mean?" Y/N questioned. Pepper glanced at the girl and smirked, "Are you getting any?"

Y/N blinked in surprise. Not wanting to answer the question, she sneakily got her drill out of her utility belt before saying, "Oh, you mean-" She then turned the drill on making Pepper jump back in surprise while Natasha and Wanda started laughing.

The seriousness of the situation instantly dissolved as the four friends started laughing. Once she knew her friends were laughing and she could joke about the situation despite it being serious to her, Y/N laughed and shook her head, "No, it takes too much energy."

"Yeah, just more plumbing to be maintained, isn't it?" Wanda asked. "Exactly," Y/N laughed. "Oh, God, I'm so glad that whole part of my life is over. You know, seriously. I do not miss it at all."

And while her friends continued to laugh, Y/N cleared her throat and chugged the rest of her wine.

- - -

"Then its just right here," Tony heard Alex say. He took his gaze off of the scenery to look at the young girl. He smiled slightly at how much she looked like Y/N before noticing the small building behind her, the building in which him and the two men he had met only a few hours ago were supposed to be staying in.

Alex stood near the door and smiled at them. Seeing that neither Steve or Bucky was going to make the first move, Tony offered the girl a smile back before walking into the building. Bucky sighed and followed after while Steve asked confused, "Where's Y/N?"

Tony and Bucky turned at that to see what the girl would say, but she ignored Steve and just gently pushed him into the building before closing the door. Alex then turned to them and pointed up at a small trap door in the ceiling. "Up you go," she muttered.

Tony glanced up and chuckled. This trip was turning out to be way different than he expected, but he didn't really care. He had grown used to the lavish lifestyle he had, so when he got to experience things like this where he was staying in an old barn with goats and two strangers, Tony took it more as an adventure and actually liked it.

Judging from the looks on Bucky and Steve's faces, they thought the opposite.

Tony went upstairs first, smiling slightly as a chuckle escaped his lips from the sight of three deflated air mattresses on the ground before him. He was quick to go put his stuff by one of the air mattresses while Bucky and Steve climbed up.

Bucky frowned slightly, a look of confusion on his face at their living situation, while Steve blinked in surprise. The two men climbed their way up and Steve let out a sigh before looking back at the trap door where they could see Alex's head sticking out.

"You know, I don't want to seem ungrateful for the scenic tour, but might I be shown my room now?" Steve asked. Tony chuckled and clapped a hand on the blond's shoulder. "I know this may be a bit shocking for you, old man, but I think this is your room," Tony told him.

Steve frowned, not because of the living situation but because of the fact that Tony had called him an 'old man.'

Bucky set his stuff down, ignoring the other adults, before glancing at Alex nervously. "Uh. . .do you think we could see Y/N now? I kind of need to talk to her about a few things," Bucky said.

Alex's eyes flickered over to the man while Tony and Steve turned their gaze on the young girl. She let out a nervous laugh and climbed the rest of the way up. "Uh. . .I sent the invites," Alex explained as she got up onto her feet. "My mom doesn't know anything."

The three men blinked in surprise while Tony raised his eyebrows. "Oh, kid," he muttered as he let out a small breath. She really had no idea what she just did, did she?

"Well, she's done so much for me, and she's always talking about you guys and the good old days, and I thought, what an amazing surprise for her that you are all gonna be at my wedding," Alex explained.

"Hang on, kid," Tony sighed as he walked over and out a hand on her should. "I. . .I shouldn't be here. The last time I saw your mother, she said she never wanted to see me again."

A feeling of guilt washed over Tony as he remembered that moment, the tears in Y/N's eyes and the redness of her face (whether that was from anger or embarrassment or both, he wasn't sure) as she had slapped him, exclaiming that she never wanted to see him again. It had been a moment he would never forget, that was for sure.

And the worst part was, he hadn't gotten the chance to explain what had happened, to tell her that some crazy fan who wanted his money had kissed him hoping that he would fall in love with her with just one kiss. Tony had been in the middle of pushing the girl away when Y/N had walked up, but Y/N hadn't given him a chance to even talk before she had walked out of his life.

"That was years ago!" Alex exclaimed. "Please, it would mean a lot to me." Tony furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes flickering over the girl as she gave him an unreadable expression. "Why?" He asked confused.

"Listen, I can see that you've been to a great deal of trouble, Alex," Steve said. "But might I suggest that we all reconvene in your boat, Tony?" "Good idea," Bucky agreed.

Tony was silent as he stared at Alex, watching as her smile disappeared from their words and a look of hurt and sadness flashed through her eyes. The man let out a small sigh and turned to Bucky and Steve as he clapped his hands together, smiling at them.

"Sorry, fellas, but not gonna happen," Tony said before walking by them to start unpacking. "What, why?" Steve asked. "It's an adventure, old man. It's good for you," Tony told him. "Oh, I see," Steve muttered grumpily.

"Okay, when I sent the invites, it was a long shot that you'd even reply," Alex admitted causing the three men to stop what they were doing and look back at her. "And now you've come all this way for a wedding. Surely there must have been some special reason for you to be here. Like some siren call, maybe?"

Or their own guilt?

The three men blinked in surprise before Tony let out a small chuckle. Steve and Bucky joined soon after and Alex watched her three possible fathers as they all laughed.

"You're a little minx, you know that?" Bucky asked in amusement. "You're just like your mother." "I'll take that as a compliment," Alex responded instantly. Bucky held up his hands in defeat, "Never said it was anything but a compliment. Your mother was quite something back in the day. She could convince me to do almost anything."

"Like to come here?" Alex questioned.

Bucky blinked in surprise before looking up at Alex, his eyes narrowing slightly. "How did you-?" He began, but he fell silent once a loud humming sound filled the air.

All three men froze while Alex's eyes widened. "It's Y/N," Tony whispered in disbelief. He would recognize that voice anywhere. She used to sing all the time back when they were together, said that singing was the only thing that made her feel alive.

Tony stopped unpacking and began to walk to the trap door, Bucky and Steve following behind him. "No," Alex said as she quickly stood in front of them. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen, she can't know. I'm going to go. Please stay. Promise me that you'll not tell anybody that I invited you. Okay? Promise?"

Tony was the first to break his gaze away from the trap door and to look at the girl in front of him. His eyes flickered over her and he let out a small sigh as he smiled at the girl. "You got it, kid," he agreed.

Alex smiled, her eyes flickering over to Steve and Bucky. The two men glanced at each other before looking back at Alex. "It's a promise," Steve agreed. "I might regret it, but okay," Bucky said.

"Okay," Alex whispered excitedly. She then hurried over to the window of the room making the three men look at her confused. Alex ignored their gazes and pulled back a wooden board and handed it to Bucky before opening the window and stepping out.

"What are you-?" Bucky began, but Alex just smiled. "I'll be back later," she said before closing the window, not noticing that she closed it hard enough for her mother to hear from down below.

Y/N jumped in surprise from the loud sound that came from above her. Furrowing her eyebrows, she looked up. She heard the sound of stuff being moved around and frowned before going over to the ladder that was set right below the trap door that led to the top floor of the barn.

Y/N climbed up the ladder and hesitated before pushing the trap door up. She was about to open it all the way when she caught sight of a pair of shoes. She quickly closed it a little allowing for it to be open enough for her to see, but closed enough where whoever was in there wouldn't notice.

(E/c) eyes flickered over to the shoes before slowly making their way up the figure, stopping on the face of a man who she hadn't seen in twenty years. A strangled gasp left her lips as her eyes widened. "Steve?" She whispered in disbelief as she stared at the man who used to be her best friend up until that night twenty years ago.

"Come on, old man. Don't get all cranky. You'll see her soon enough," a familiar voice called out. Y/N quickly looked behind Steve to see the owner of the voice, a nicely dressed man who had a cocky smirk on his face as he put a pair of sunglasses on despite being indoors.

"Tony?" Y/N whispered out confused and surprised. Not only was one of her exes here, but two?

"Tony, quit messing with him," another voice said and Y/N about fell off the ladder just from hearing the voice of her first lover. Her eyes frantically searched the place until she caught sight of him standing on the other side of the room. Her breath hitched in her throat and she painfully whispered out, "James?"

Y/N let out a gasp of surprise and quickly shut the trap door and jumped off the ladder and onto the ground. "I was cheated by you and I think you know when. So I made up my mind, it must come to an end," Y/N sang.

She was quick to run out the doors of the barn, shutting the doors behind her as she leaned against the doors for support.

"Look at me now, will I ever learn? I don't know how but I suddenly lose control. There's a fire within my soul."

Y/N let out a shaky breath and looked up at the building, her heart beating furiously as a blizzard of mixed emotions hit her. She bit her lip nervously and against her better judgement, began to climb up the side of the building, wanting to know if what she saw was real or not.

"Just one look and I can hear a bell ring. One more look and I forget everything, wo-o-o-oh."

Y/N stopped at the window to the room and took a deep breath before opening it. She let out an almost disappointed sigh when she came face to face with a wooden board that had old posters for the Dynamos. Y/N looked around until her eyes landed on the ladder on the side of the building. She bit her lip nervously.

Was she really about to do this?

"Mamma mia, here I go again. My my, how can I resist you? Mamma mia, does it show again? My my, just how much I've missed you."

Y/N climbed up the ladder before stepping onto the building, stumbling slightly as she tried to gain her footing. The roof creaked below her and Y/N winced and froze in place. If what she thought she had seen was true, then she definitely didn't want Bucky, Tony, or Steve catching her in the act of trying to see them.

"Yes, I've been brokenhearted. Blue since the day we parted. Why, why did I ever let you go? Mamma mia, now I really know."

Y/N took a step forward towards the trapdoor on the roof and winced again when there was another creak. She quickly stepped back, stopping on the side of the roof and not noticing that Alex, Michelle, and Liz had caught sight of her.

"My my," Alex, Michelle, and Liz muttered before running towards the barn.

Y/N looked back at the trap door and took in a deep breath before beginning to make her way over to it from the other side.

"I should not have let you go."

She was about to go to the trap door when she remembered that there was another window on the side of the building. Y/N hurried over there before laying down on her stomach and leaning her head over the side.

She was just able to see through the top of the window and none of the men seemed to notice her (h/c) hair glowing in the sunlight because they were all occupied with either unpacking or blowing up their mattresses. Y/N was silent for a minute as she looked between the three men confused and hurt as to why they were here.

"I was angry inside when I knew we were through."

Y/N let out a sigh and pulled her body back onto the roof and laid there for a second, her eyes on the sky above her as a million thoughts ran through her head.

"I can't count all the times I've cried over you. Look at me now, will I ever learn? I don't know how but I suddenly lose control. There's a fire within my soul."

Her eyes flickered over to the trap door that she was now lying next to and she took a deep breath before shakily holding a hand out to the handle.

"Just one look and I can hear a bell ring."

Y/N shook her head and pulled her hand away. She couldn't do this.

"One more look and I forget everything, wo-o-o-oh."

Y/N looked back at the handle and began to have an argument with herself. She started to reach for it again.

"Mamma mia, here I go again My my, how can I resist you?"

Y/N pulled her hand away, a feeling of doubt washing over herself.

"Mamma mia, does it show again? My my, just how much I've missed you."

She let out a sigh and got back onto her feet, memories and old feelings washing over her as she told there in the wind.

"Yes, I've been brokenhearted. Blue since the day we parted. Why, why did I ever let you go?"

Y/N took a shaky breath and bent down next to the trap door, her fingers grazing over the door handle.

"Mamma mia, here I go again. My my, I should not have let you go."

Then, against her better judgement, Y/N opened the trap door. However, it had a little more of a pullback than she expected.

And before she knew it, Y/N went stumbling through the door and down onto the air mattress of her first love while three of her exes all stared at her with wide eyes.

Tony was the first to break the silence, a loud laugh escaping his lips.

"Hello, Y/N. Nice of you to drop by."

Tag List:

@babygirlizz

@stars-cant-be-broken

@sammmnmy

@oceanmendes

[bachelorbro-blog1]

Season 13, Episode 1 (The One Where Blake K Doesn't Get a Rose)

Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! I’m super excited about this season of the Bachelorette (mostly because Rachel is not Nick Viall and will never be Nick Viall). You all know how I feel about Rachel (and that I knew she’d be the next Bachelorette since the first episode of last season), so I won’t wax poetic about her. Instead, I’ll just start this recap. Let’s go!

The episode opens with Chris Harrison talking about how much we all love Rachel. Duh. Obviously. Let’s move on. 

Rachel does some street dancing, plays basketball alone, “goes to court” (by which I mean she performs in an instructional video about what lawyers do as directed by someone who doesn't know any lawyers), flashes back to meeting gross Nick (complete with beignet eating and limo crying), takes a plane with her DOG WHOSE NAME IS COPPER (!!!), poses for some pictures, chats with some grandmas, and finally drives up to the mansion. 

Time to meet some guys! 

Pretty Boy Pitbull Kenny King is a wrestler. He is very sweaty and panty for a solid chunk of his intro video and has a very tall ten year old daughter. (Is Rachel ready to get engaged to a man who has a ten year old child and possibly be that child’s step mother?). He makes a pun about rings.

Jack Stone is a lawyer (like Rachel), is 31 (like Rachel), and is from Dallas (like Rachel). He talks about the passing of his mother while staring out at some water and then plays with a dog. 

Alex would like to let you all know that is not a meat head. He likes books and coding and learning and Rubiks Cubes. Ok? Those are things meat heads don't like! Only nerds like those things!

Mohit is a start-up guy. He loves dancing with his family in his living room. 

Alright. Here he fucking is. Whaboom -- a manboy named Lucas who frequently wears shirts that have cartoon versions of his own face on them. This guy is going to be either my most favorite or my least favorite.

Blake E (omega Blake) is a sports nutritionist and certified lunatic. He works out on the beach and talks about how amazing his penis is (by which he means it’s slightly below average). Fuck this guy.

Next up is Diggy, who loves clothes and has 575 pairs of shoes (or 1150 individual shoes). Diggy, you see, is a fashionista. He also has a dog, but we don't get to know how many pairs of shoes the dog owns. 

Josiah makes me cry. Top 5, easily. E A S I L Y . His older brother killed himself when he was younger and Josiah had to cut him down from the tree that he hung himself on. Josiah has an amazing story and is either this season’s winner or next season's Bachelor. 

A meeting of the minds commences. Among Rachel’s panel of advisors is Astrid (who I forgot about), Whitney (who everyone forgot about), nanny-having Corinne, dolphin lady Alexis, Raven (the true winner of Nick Viall’s season of The Bachelor), beautiful princess Kristina, and Jasmine G. (the one who choked Nick -- big fan). Everyone loves Eric, Raven believes that DeMario is amazing (but Whitney thinks he’s THERE FOR THE WRONG REASONS™️), and some ill-advised voice likes Dean (the one who made the “I’m ready to go black and I’m never going back” comment). 

Time for the men to come out of the limo. Finally.

First out of the limo is Peter. He is wearing a nice jacket and doesn't say anything awful. Congratulations, Peter!

Next is Josiah, this season’s winner. He makes a lawyer joke. Smells like a wedding to me!

Out comes chiropractor Bryan. He speaks Spanish and looks like a much more attractive version of my neighbor. 

Kenny calls her “Pretty Rachel” and then dances with her. I am overcome with grief. 

Rob doesn't get much of an introduction, but who cares?

There is also a man named Iggy. Diggy and Iggy. Fine.

Bryce, the transphobic firefighter, lifts Rachel off of her feet. Get out, Bryce.

Next out of the limo is Steve Urkel, followed by Stefan Urquelle. His real name is Will. As in when Will this end?

Here comes Diggy, who loves The Devil Wears Prada. He makes a pun based off of his name. 

Kyle shows Rachel his buns. Who is Kyle?

Blake K (alpha Blake) talks about his grandparents who recently celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary. Big fan of Blake K. Huge.

Brady shows up with a sledge hammer. He is immediately terrifying. He “breaks the ice” at which point I feel he should be lead away from Rachel with his hands behind his back. He is also possibly wearing lavender lipstick. 

Dean, who made that cringe-worthy comment when he first met Rachel, is shaking and grinning. Rachel lies about loving the comment. This is your season, Rachel. You do not have to lie to anyone.

Here comes Eric, my first round draft pick. Now I find him boring. 

DeMario, who brought plane tickets to Vegas to his first encounter with Rachel, looks forward to more “first moments” with her. His confidence is overwhelming. 

Gross Blake E arrives with a marching band. Do less, Blake E. I implore you. (Side note: Blake E’s hair is straight up disgusting).

Let’s make misogynistic comments about Rachel! A smart and funny woman? How is that possible? No woman has ever been smart AND funny! There must be some sort of catch! Several men’s heads explode. 

Fred, who knew Rachel in elementary school, brings a yearbook. Rachel remembers his bad behavior. I sincerely hope he becomes this season’s Liz the Doula. (Miss you, Liz!)

Jonathan, the tickle monster, makes me scream into a pillow. If anyone ever tried to tickle me upon meeting me I would actually knock them out. Not appropriate, creepy Jonathan. 

Lee, whose guitar lets me know it’s alright to hate him, wastes no time in introducing himself as a monster. He is a self-proclaimed singer/songwriter, and a me-proclaimed douchebag.

Alex the Mensa genius brings a vacuum because why not?

Milton, who literally admitted that he wanted to be discovered by a talent agent, takes a selfie with Rachel. Bye!

Adam brings a mannequin named Adam Jr. Adam Jr. (AJ) will more than likely compete on Bachelor in Paradise because Rachel hates him. AJ is left in the corner where he conspires against all of the other men in the house whilst Jonathan tickles people. 

Matt is a penguin. Can’t wait until Alexis decks him on Paradise. 

Grant arrives in an ambulance. 

Anthony is wearing a beige suit. Different!

Jamey is unsavory upon first sight and unsavory upon further inspection.

Jack Stone has a great (crocodile) smile. Maybe he uses it to bite people. 

Mohit makes some kind of comment about her having the upper hand. Is he a dom? A misogynist? Both? Neither? Where are his dancing family members?

A man whose legal name is Jedidiah quotes a Bible verse about crying. He is not wearing a full suit. 

Michael brings a brownie. I pick him.

The men wonder who will go crazy. Here’s Whaboom. He is contractually obligated to show up when someone says “crazy,” “maniac,” “Whaboom,” or “testicles.” He turns bright red while yelling and carries a megaphone. Can't wait until he’s full drunk.

All 31 men (and 1 mannequin) are now in the mansion. Time for Rachel to like actually kind of meet them, but not really because chances are they’ll speak with her for like 10 minutes each and continuously steal her from each other. 

Josiah tells Rachel his story, but she's only kind of buying what he's selling. It’s ok. They just need time to fall in love.

Dean and Rachel build a sand castle together. Dean, the youngest man in the mansion, thinks this is cute. Rachel is his babysitter.

Rob brought a baseball card with Rachel on it. 

Anthony would like to understand Rachel.

Eric and Rachel dance again, but the spark is gone. 

Someone gave AJ a glass of champagne. He is a child! He cannot drink! 

Matt the Penguin asks if Rachel prefers Michael Jackson or Prince while AJ (who, like a clown, is hilarious and terrifying) (mostly terrifying) professes his love for Rachel in French.

Rachel remembered Fred the moment she saw him. He’s the top 5 guy who makes her feel comfortable, connected to her past, but he won't win. 

Bryan steals Rachel. He is mature and handsome and surely top 5 material. His confidence, unlike DeMario’s, is endearing because it’s over-the-top in a funny way. You can tell he doesn't really believe all of these things about himself. (I hope). Rachel and Bryan kiss. She didn’t want to kiss anyone tonight, but says that she enjoyed him. 

The first impression rose is brought out. Everyone starts sweating (and drinking). Let’s be honest. Bryan is getting the rose. No one else spent that kind of time with Rachel. And, as a first impression rose winner herself, she knows who’s real and who’s fake. 

DeMario talks a lot, according to Josiah. Rachel is impressed by his confidence. 

Jamey mentioned that his suit cost $2,000. He is Gob Bluth and I was right to hate him.

Men swarm Rachel. She is starting to get nervous. Cancel the season! Send everyone home! Let Rachel have fun in the mansion by herself. 

Mohit is drunk and can't seem to find the right way to steal Rachel. 

Rachel tells Peter that she doesn’t like chocolate while Whaboom narrates through a megaphone. 

Blake E hates Whaboom so I officially love Whaboom. I would very much like to see Whaboom deck Blake E. I would very much like to see anyone (especially Rachel) deck Blake E.

None of these men seem to realize that they can only have a few minutes with Rachel. There are 31 of you and her time is more valuable than all of yours combined. Get with the picture. 

I also just realized that Alex brought a vacuum because when we first met Rachel during Nick’s season she danced with a vacuum. Fine.

“Cash me outside, how bow dah?” asks Josiah. Oh, Josiah. I was rooting for you. 

Kenny brings up his daughter -- his favorite person in the whole world. Maybe I was wrong to judge him. He’s a good father. 

The first impression rose goes to Bryan because duh. Mohit gasps. He is the DGAP.

it’s finally time for the first rose ceremony!

Roses go to: 

- Normal Peter

- Will Urkel

- Smiley Jack Stone

- Slimy Jamey

- Forgettable Iggy

- Dance Machine Eric

- Confident DeMario

- Jonathan the Creep

- Transphobic Bryce

- Alex the Mega Genius

- Kenny the Wrestling Dad

- Baby Dean

- Matt the Penguin

- Anthony (and his eyebrows)

- Brady the Lip Gloss Aficionado

- Josiah the Future Winner 

- Hatable Lee

- Fashion-forward Diggy

- Fred from Camp

- Adam (but not Adam Jr, which is rude)

- Blake E who is more than likely sticky 

and last, but certainly not least

- Whaboom (because this is reality television)

Roses do not go to:

- Bland Rob

- Drunk Mohit

- Forgettable Kyle 

- Blake K (who actually voluntarily left to see his grandfather in the ICU -- i.e. the true winner of this season)

- Grant, who was not on this episode

- Bible-quoting Jedidiah

- Milton, who will never get the chance to be famous now (FIRST CRY OF THE SEASON)

and

- Brownie-bringing Michael

Alright, the season has begun. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will beat the crap out of Blake E? Here’s to finding out!