#she couldn't communicate or move but we all knew she was aware of things around her

[simptasia]

my mum died last night

[novankenn]

the Nephokinetic

(Users can utilize vapor in combat, whether it be releasing waves of mist to disorientate their opponents or conceal themselves in order to land sneak attacks, or using vapor to create weapons or having it accompany the user's own attacks.)

RPV was a man down. Jaune Arc their former leader having vanished one night, for no discernable reason, at least to them. So after missing the 40th Vytal Festival due to being a member short, the trio moved into their second year... proving their ability to cope and move forward, despite their disadvantage.

/==/

Pyrrha, Ren and Nora disembarked the bullhead. The small village they were sent to inspect, had no landing pad so the vehicle had to land in a nearby prepared area. Behind them Professor Peach stepped off. It was a second year supervised inspection mission.

The goal of the exercise was to teach the students how to see the strengths and weaknesses in a settlement or hamlet's defensive structures. To help them in those times they were dispatched to protect a settlement how to best utilize the resources at hand.

Their approved site was Fort Vale. A heavily fortified community was situated near the coast to the east of Vale proper, however for some reason while on route the destination was changed to their current location. A small unnamed village of maybe a dozen families or so, protected by a stout wooden palisade, and a few automated sentry turrets.

Peach knew at one glance the place was a death trap. Any serious Bandit or Grimm assault and the place would fold like a house of cards. Yet Peach was also aware of the side objective. There was someone of interest to Ozpin in the area... and she and her charges were the closet available team. Even if team RPV was a member short.

The trio of students lead by Professor Peach closed upon the sturdy-looking main gate. Showing her ID she and her charges were quickly allowed entry. Once past the gate Peach turned to face RPV.

"Now. I want you all to wander about. Take you time. We'll meet back at the gate in a hour." Peach let her eyes glid over the three young adults. "Pay close attention, and when we get back together I want to know from each of you what is good about these defenses... and what is bad. Any questions?"

Ren raised his hand.

"Mr Ren?"

"I thought we were supposed to be inspecting Fort Vale? Is there a reason for..." Ren didn't finish but looked around. The statement was however made.

"It was changed mid-route." Professor Peach informed the trio. "But the assignment is still the same and what you see and deduce here is applicable in other places. Any further questions?"

Pyrrha and Nora remained silent.

"Very well get to it. I'm going to have a chat with whomever is in charge of this place."

It took a little prodding and about twenty minutes but soon Peach found herself leaning against the counter of the General Store, speaking to the proprietor, who just happened to also be the woman in charge of the small settlement.

"So what brings Beacon out here?" the woman named Brittany Birch. "Should I be telling people to start packing?"

"No. It's an inspection exercise, and in fact I was going to ask you if there was a reason for us to actually be here instead of Fort Vale?"

"Well I can tell you we've not put in a call in for Huntsmen." Brittany replied, "No real need once the young fella showed up."

"Young fellow?"

"Yeah, young guy, was just wandering the road. Arrive about three weeks ago. Good thing too..."

"Why?"

"Had a small grimm incursion happen a couple days later." Brittany relayed, "Bad for us too. Pushed our defenses all most to the bring..."

"How big of a group?"

"One or two dozen." Brittany replied, "Nothing a larger settlement couldn't handle, but as you can see... we're still just scraping by."

"Well I assume you made it through... you're still here, obviously."

"Well it was because of the kid." Brittany informed Peach, "Without him we would have been over run."

"Was he that strong a fighter? Up to two dozen grimm is still a task to handle by one person." Peach commented, "Or did he have a strong semblance?"

"Well I'll say this... It was something else."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't really know how to explain it... but the kid used the grimm's own bodies against each other..."

"That makes no sense. Did he control a grimm and make it attack the others?"

"No... you know how a grimm evaporate after dying?"

"Yes."

"Somehow he manipulated that... used it against the pack. I mean it was seriously disturbing... the more grimm that went down, the more powerful and plentiful his attacks and defenses were..."

Peach stood there in silence, her lips pressed together. What the head-woman was speaking off... was impossible. Someone capable of using the essence of grimm as a weapon? There had to be more to it.

"Is this... individual still in the community?" Peach inquired. "I would like to speak with them... if I could."

"He should be. For all his help I put him up at my house. He's got a room in the attic. Private, warm and safe."

The incessant and rapid ringing of an bell sounded in the distance.

[armpirate]

Soundleasure | Choi San || CH. 28

Pairings: Soft!San x fem!reader || Strangers to lovers, fake dating

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, online sex, ghosting

Warnings: inexperienced!San, fem!reader, masturbation, online sex, camboy, first times.

Summary: You can do whatever you please and be whoever you want on the Internet. And San knew that a little bit too well.

After finally following all the signs the universe was throwing at him, he started living a double life that no one was aware of. Everyone in his daily life knew him as Choi San, the reserved and quiet boy who wouldn't raise his voice, and would barely communicate with anyone outside of his comfort group. But only a few knew him as Soundleasure, the man with a sexy voice and a filthy mind that had their toes curling just with his narrations.

He never thought of the possibility of those two lives ever meeting, he had always tried for them to follow a parallel route and had always played safe to keep his friends from ever suspecting that side even existed. But his plans will start to crumble when he gets a little too close with one of his subscribers and she invades his real-self and altergo's universes without being able to stop it.

Y/n will not only help him to keep his secret from his circle, but will also show him there's more of Soundleasure in him than he'd like to admit. 

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 15 minutes

His screen was divided into two as he tried to focus on the video he needed to upload. Ever since he started dating Y/n, the quality in his videos didn't drop, but the quantity and the frequency did, having more than one follower commenting on past videos to interrogate him about that sudden change.

His focus was on his girlfriend.

When they weren't together -which was for the most part of the time-, he kept thinking of things they could do together; and if he wasn't thinking about that, he had his mind on the project he was involved in through the scholarship.

But there was something else.

Y/n and her sudden distance.

He was convinced he was just reading too much into it, but at the same time it was obvious for him how there was something going on that had her changing her attitude whenever she was around him.

At first, he blamed it on the big amount of time they spent together, yet she denied it; later, he blamed it on that little issue with Mia, which she also denied because she convinced him something so superficial wouldn't play a toll on her. And all those denials just left him trying to wonder what could've caused that change, and why she wasn't being open about it.

And as soon as he stepped out of his room, he was left with those same doubts after Wooyoung asked about her.

—It's been a few days since we last saw her here —Mingi added, looking at them over his phone—. Is she okay? Oh shoot, does she have Covid?

—It's not Covid —San rolled his eyes, taking a seat on the armchair on the right.

He wished he could know what it was, at least to keep his mind at ease. But it had been days since he last saw her, allowing her to have her own space when she didn't even show up to the office, with the only reason being her feeling a bit sick and choosing to telework.

That woman hated staying at home with her guts, to the length of presentially working even though her head was about to blow a few days after she left the hospital. Y/n didn't even stayed hospitalized for as long as it was recommended, only because she couldn't go missing.

And he was supposed to believe she chose by herself not to go.

—By the way, isn't it your dad's birthday next week? Are you going to take her? —San sighed at Wooyoung's question.

That was his plan.

—If she doesn't go, take me instead —Mingi commented, focusing back on his phone.

Yeah, that was exactly what he was thinking.

—How's the old man doing? —Wooyoung ignored Mingi— I bet moving all the way from Boston to Texas wasn't easy.

It was more difficult to come up with a reason as to why they wouldn't be able to get his parents to attend any of Wooyoung's parties -whenever he invited the whole group-, or why he was the one traveling constantly instead of getting his parents to come home. In his head, it was more logical to come up with a lie where his parents moved to a whole different state, other than admitting they did move to a smaller house because his father was fired and his studies were paid for by sexualizing his voice.

Yeah, it was definitely better.

—He's still adapting —he shrugged.

—We should plan the next trip to be there —Mingi suggested—. Instead of going camping, I mean.

He could only be thankful he was going to head to work to focus on something else, because thinking about that small problem he got himself in some years ago wasn't something he needed at that moment.

His brain got immersed in the project as soon as he arrived in the office, only being interrupted by Mia's sided smile as she walked past him a few minutes later.

For the first time, he never thought he'd be so grateful for keeping his mind that busy, reviewing some design schematics on his computer while making notes and adjustments. The hum of the lab's machinery and quiet conversations was the only noise he needed.

Mia approached, her heels clicking sharply against the polished floor.

—That's looking impressive, San. You really have a knack for this. I wonder, do you put this much passion into everything you do?

—Thanks, Mia —he sat straight—. I always try to give my best.

—I bet you do. It must be exhausting, being so good at everything. Maybe you need someone to help you relax. You know, take the edge off.

San felt a wave of discomfort wash over him, initiated by Y/n's warnings the other day and Mia's attitude being so bold. Her tone and body language were making it clear that her intentions were far from professional, and it just confirmed to him he needed to trust Y/n's intuition a lot more when it came to work.

San took a deep breath, deciding it was time to address the issue head-on.

—I appreciate the feedback on my work —he turned to her, the expression firm—. And I hope it's just me being paranoid, but I think this is getting a bit inappropriate. I'm here to focus on my project, not to be distracted.

—I'm just trying to be friendly —she raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence.

—And I'm not doubting it —he answered—, but I think some people might be confused about what's going on. I'm not here to do anything other than work, and I'm not interested in any relationship that isn't professional.

—What are you trying to imply? —she smirked, not ready to back down—. I know you're new in all of this, but you might be overreacting.

—I'm not trying to imply anything —he rolled his chair back, creating more space between them—. I respect your position as my supervisor, and I request for you to respect mine as well. I don't feel comfortable with the way you're stepping over my boundaries.

Ever since Y/n told him, San was able to pick up on the signs he was innocently ignoring because he didn't want to think ill of anyone. Mia was overly touchy, but not with everyone. She was friendly with others, but didn't throw herself all over them like she did with him. Even the way she looked at him was different.

Mia's smirk faltered slightly, a flash of irritation crossing her features. She straightened up, getting up from the chair she took next to him, adjusting her blouse. The room felt tense, the quiet hum of machinery amplifying the uncomfortable silence between them, while San could only keep his eyes to the front.

—Fine, if that's how you want it. I'll keep the distance —she coldly informed him—. Just remember, I'm still your supervisor, and these types of accusations are really dangerous.

As Mia walked away, her posture stiff with annoyance, San let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, relieved to have set boundaries he didn't know needed to be settled. In a more calm state, he returned to his work, determined to stay focused despite the underlying tension.

Time passed, with San managing to evolve in his task, totally immersing himself into the project. He was entertained adjusting the schematics on his computer, fine-tuning the design, pouring the small bits of concentration left on it. Until she reappeared with a more forceful approach.

—You know, San, I've been very lenient with you because I see potential in you —she commented, resting her lower back against the desk, standing a few centimeters away from his chair, while her arms were crossed over her chest—. But if you're going to act this way, maybe I should reconsider.

—Reconsider what? Giving me a fair chance to prove my skills without unwanted advances —as he looked up, his frustration kept on building—? Is that what you mean?

—Watch your tone —she warned him, narrowing her eyes—. I can make things very difficult for you here.

San's patience kept thinning, waking up a side of him he didn't know existed, and feeling forced to fight that new feeling to remain calm and collected.

—Mia, I came here to learn and contribute to the company. If my skills aren't enough for you to see my worth, then maybe I'm in the wrong place. But I won't tolerate this behavior.

Her expression shifted, with a mix of surprise and anger, when he stood his ground firmly. It wasn't something that surprised her: he was hooking up with the big boss, of course he was going to look down at someone he considered inferior.

—We'll see how long that attitude lasts. Remember, San, I hold a lot of influence here.

—And I hold a lot of integrity. I hope we can find a way to work together professionally.

—We'll see what your colleagues do with that integrity when they know how you got here —she warned him, licking her lips while pushing her hair back—. Your girlfriend has nothing to do in this area, so I'd watch out for the way you relate to those in your ground.

Mia gave him one last icy look before turning on her heels and walking away. The way his expression turned from confident to shocked had her aware that her words did indeed impact him the way she was expecting.

San watched her leave, his heart pounding from the confrontation, knowing he'd made an enemy. But, despite her words, he still felt relieved and proud of himself for not backing down.

As he was getting ready to return to work, a notification popped in his phone. From the only woman he'd allow to interrupt him as many times she pleased.

Y/n: Can you come to my place at the end of your shift?

Y/n: We need to talk

And just that way, his blood fell to his feet.

That sentence was never a synonym of good news.

Her feet kept a steady walk, going all the way to the beginning of her open living room to go back to the other extreme of the long plush couch. Out of all the things that could worry her, that one wasn't the one on her list. That one was exactly the one she didn't want to have to worry about, and even less so early.

No, it couldn't be.

Every few steps, she felt her left foot missing track of the pace the right one was following, with her muscle tensing while losing all strength she needed to hold the weight of her body.

She breathed deeply, recognizing all the symptoms that led her to believe it was something more serious than a random loss of strength, feeling her heart pounding with the desperation of thinking it was the beginning of something worse.

It was starting all over again.

She kept trying to eat up her pain and worries, moving away from San's vision so he wouldn't see her in that state. He had a lot of things to worry about, he had a lot of things to do, and she wasn't the main priority of those -or, at least, she felt like she shouldn't be. That was part of her illness, and she knew San would make it the center of his day.

She just couldn't allow that to happen.

But worry was consuming her. And, out of all the people she could run to, San was the only thing she needed to count on.

Her fingers moved over her phone, typing that text message and sending it before she could even regret it and delete it.

Just as she expected, San showed up at her door twenty minutes after the end of his shift, with a concerned expression that messed with his features. And, while she thought she'd be strong enough to explain to him what had her closing herself inside his house, without her voice trembling in consequence, one look from his warm eyes had her completely losing.

Her head fell to the front, hiding her face with the locks of her hair, as she hid her chin trembling and the tears rolling down her cheeks. Seeing him that way, running to her place at the first request from her, had Y/n realizing how unfair she had been with him. San didn't deserve her being distant, he didn't deserve her avoiding seeing him, especially not when he had told her to reach out to him whenever she needed it, even if it was only to rant about something random, even if it was to complain about a light hassle.

Her weeping became louder when the soft fabric of his shirt got in contact with her cheek, covering her face with his chest while his arms wrapped around her tight. San held her as if she needed to be protected, while his hand played with her hair like that was the only way to pacify her.

Her left hand held onto the fabric of his shirt tight, closing her fist on it, while her weaker right hand barely managed to move up to find a spot on his back.

—Y/n, what's wrong? —he tried to know, attempting to look at her face, but missing on his first try.

Y/n only shook her head, blowing her nose.

Still holding her tight against his body, he moved with her, closing the door behind him to give themselves the privacy they needed to speak. Because it was certain that whatever they needed to discuss was something that needed privacy.

—Look at me —he hurriedly said, cupping her cheeks in his hands to force her swollen eyes on him—. Are you alright? Huh? Are you hurt?

—I'm sorry.

In a relationship where he was used to Y/n being the strong one, he felt hurt at seeing her so broken while going back to looking for his embrace.

Breaking up didn't cross his mind, cheating didn't cross his mind, but her well-being did. It was the only worry that had him holding her back again, while squeezing his cheek against the back of her head to give her as much warmth as he was able to.

—I'm here. It's okay —he tried to soothe her—. Let's do one thing, alright? Let's breathe together —he moved back a bit again, trying to look at her while his arms kept a reassuring spot on her shoulders—. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

She gulped thick, trying to control the hiccups to be able to breathe like he was guiding her to do. And, while she fought herself for it, his hands washed up all the teardrops that marked a route from her eyes to the edges of her chin.

—You're doing well —he reassured her—. You're doing great.

—I'm suffering an outbreak —she let him know with a weak voice—. I can't move my arm and leg properly, I can't even feel half of my face —she pressed her lips, looking down to avoid his eyes—. I... I thought it was just me being paranoid.

—Did you go to the doctor?

—No —she admitted—. I wanted it to go away by itself. I should've called you when I started feeling off, but I didn't want you to see me this way. I know I did wrong, I know you told me to reach you, but you had enough with everything going on... and I just didn't... —she went on.

—It's alright, babe —he tried to calm her down.

—It's not —she quickly argued back—. I pushed you away.

—Y/n, I promise you that's the last thing I care about right now —he let her know.

Instead of waiting for her to start walking, San lifted her body to carry her through the living room to lie her over the couch.

—San... —she mumbled, as soon as she let her go.

—Do you want something to drink? —he asked, patting her head— I'll bring you an orange soda —he answered quickly, answering for her.

Y/n just saw him go, to quickly come back with an orange can in his hand, and a red one on the other.

—You aren't mad?

—No —he calmly answered, sitting next to her—. It's not fair for me to get angry at you, when you have enough with what you're dealing with —his eyes glanced at her over his shoulder—. The only thing I can do is reaffirm I'm here for you. For good things, bad things... for everything. I'm your boyfriend, and I want you to count on me on these things, not only the good, funny ones.

Y/n played with her closed can, biting her lower lip, trapping it under her upper teeth out of nervousness.

—How does it usually work?

San wanted to know whether he should be taking her to the hospital, or just let her recover at her own pace. He didn't want Y/n to feel pressured, but he didn't want her to get worse.

—I've just had one outbreak after getting diagnosed, and it isn't like going to the hospital makes a change —she shrugged—. It doesn't. They only wait for you to get a bit better, before offering you the chance to leave and go on with life, and wait for another outbreak to happen. Trust me, it's better if I just stay home —while she spoke, San's soft eyes kept reassuring her everything would be okay.

While puckering his lips, his hand reached for hers, sliding his fingers through her right palm, while Y/n was unable to feel his touch. But before it could affect either of them, Y/n cupped his face with her left hand to link their lips together.

—We'll do this together —he whispered.

Her thumb rubbed on his cheek, smiling against his lips while rubbing their noses together.

—Now, moving the spotlight from me —she announced, smiling brightly—, how has work been these days?

It was a tough decision whether to tell her what happened with Mia or not. While he wanted to vent about it, he also wanted her to worry about herself and her state. He already handled it with his supervisor, so he didn't need Y/n to know, at least for now.

—It went great —he nodded—. Every day I'm learning a bit more, and I'm getting more comfortable.

—I'm so happy to hear that.

San dragged her body, sticking it to his as he moved back for them both to rest against the backrest, so they could cuddle in a more comfortable way.

—I'm so proud of how well you're doing —she whispered, snuggling to the curve of his neck—. My boy will leave them all speechless —she giggled, kissing his jaw.

—I need to be at your level.

While they both were lying on the couch, Y/n felt a vibration on his chest and San went shy immediately after. It didn't even sound like a burp, but more like a shy hiccup. As much as he wanted to act as if it didn't happen, Y/n looked up at him with a playful smile.

—It's not what it seems.

—Then why is your face as red as the can? —she chuckled, noticing his blushed cheeks— It's not a big deal.

—It is when you're seeing your partner after days —San pouted.

While rolling her eyes, Y/n only left his side to reach her can, offering it to her boyfriend.

—Open it.

After San opened and gave it back to her, Y/n gulped on the gaseous drink, not moving her lips away from the can until she felt she had drunk enough. She sat there, waiting for the reaction, which worked like clockwork, raising through her throat until it forced a sound from her.

He really didn't know such a sound could come out of her.

Few seconds into processing what had just happened, San and Y/n exchanged looks, ending up cackling while Y/n went back to fall into his arms when he stretched one of them for her to take back her place.

It was then, while they both were watching TV, with nothing else needed other than each other's company, that they realized that was the only thing they wanted to keep asking life to give them.

Those were her exact thoughts when she was walking back to the couch after going to the bathroom, feeling the happiest she had ever been, until something started feeling off. She could tell how his expression changed in slow motion. Turning that sweet and beautiful smile, with his dimples in full display, to a concerned and distressed expression while he hurried to her, before everything turned into black.

Taglist: @brown88

[distortionmewtwo]

-The Unowns body spun violently from side to side a low hum resonating from its body, small charges of energy flickered as its body spun a few full circles before slowing and stopping, eye squinting judgementful of Giratina it moves to attempt to provide company for Uv, it didn't know if it could bring comfort eye shut it tapped it's body against Uvs shoulder something of a very light head bonk for a creature that was just an eye,-

We're here for you Uv,, you're not alone,,, -It offered softly,- however you're feeling you're more than justified hurt angry betrayed upset or all or even numb, we're here for you regardless, and this is going to suck but we need to find out what exactly has changed then if you're not the champion anymore, to make sure -it stopped before it made a spiteful remark about Giratina forgetting to inform the other gods of this change seeing as Giratina has been forgetting an awful lot lately(!) misplacing a lot of information-, just to be sure it's all fully communicated to the other champions and God's, then if you want we can go or stay or do whatever you want or need, this can't be a nice thing to process but you won't be alone we'll be with you or give you space but you'll not be truly alone okay? -the Unown shifted slightly to look up at Uv, trying to read his face and offer a comforting look-

- U

Ultraviolet didn't know what to do. His whole world, everything he thought he knew... was falling apart around him. He listened to the words of the friendly Unown, and.. there was a rock on his head? With eyes? He wasn't sure what was going on with that, but he took it in hand, holding onto it as a comfort. His sister and his father were both looking down at him. One looked surprised, and the other like he'd been trapped in a web of his own creation. Uncomfortable. Somehow it steeled UV's resolve. His tail lashed behind him as Invert spoke.

"I thought he knew about this," she said. "Why is he so upset? What did you do?"

Giratina shifted his weight in the air of the Distortion World. Everything felt... oppressive now. His little family was rife with tension, and he desperately wanted to undo it. They were all he had. But... the look on his son's face... all he could do was explain now. If he didn't he would lose him.

"What am I missing?" Ultraviolet asked, his tone surprisingly even for the tears running through his thin fur.

The great wyrm let out a heavy sigh. ... Invert... was initially created as the replacement for my Champion. I saw how you were growing up, you were such a gentle soul. I knew I couldn't do that to you... so I created Invert.

"She was made to replace me..?"

No. She was not created to replace you. She was created as a being that could be my new Champion. One with similar abilities to you, so I could not be accused of rigging the test by overpowering my own Champion. She does not overpower you, and thus I began to train her... but I soon found that she, too, held a gentle soul. She took to the powers of healing, not battle, and above all, she took to you. The bond you two created and shared... was not something I could take away. I could not force her to fight any more than I could you. So I released her, and allowed her to grow into her own...

Ultraviolet listened silently to him, lowering his head and trying to keep a handle on his breathing. He didn't know how to handle this information. Didn't know how to take it. Didn't know how to take it. For a long time Invert had been his only other connection besides his father. His very huggable sister who always knew what to say... but now, this.. he didn't... he didn't know anymore... "...She knew. I did not. Why?"

Invert knew from the very beginning. She never had a childhood like you did. I knew to properly prepare her, she had to be aware. I could not tell you, I.... I could not do that to you then. When I decided the fate would befall neither of you... I had heard nothing of my siblings about it. I had hoped they'd forgotten, that you two could be left in peace. I could not shatter what you had, Ultraviolet... and as time went on... it slipped my mind as well. The peace seemed ongoing... He bowed his head in shame. Only recently did it come back to mind, and then... well...

"I thought you'd already known," Invert said helplessly. "I never thought..."

The mewtwo could feel his fur bristling along his spine, his tail. His father hadn't wanted to shatter what they had... but it was well and truly falling apart now. The sadness and regret in the voice of the wyrm only made him angry. "Your siblings have not forgotten," he said lowly. "Palkia has chosen her champion, Dialga's chosen has told me of what it to come. They remember. They're ready. Katharsis the Silvally has already come for me. So tell me. Reasonings no longer matter. What matters is what is happening. So..." All of his anger and his steel began to fade, UV feeling helpless and terrified. He looked up at them. It was so awful, so incredibly hopeless- all he could do now was laugh. There wasn't much else to be done. "So now..."

(guest art by @vanilla-waffles !! Tysm!!! This is awesome!!!!!!)

(Invert belongs to @hoodies-monster-ranch!)

[xomaleyaxo]

Echoes of the Past → Blackpink 5th Member

Synopsis: As old wounds begin to heal and memories of happier times resurface, they find themselves drawn to one another once again. (Broken Melodies PT 2)

Word count: 5.5K

February 2nd 2022

Three years. That’s how long it had been since the dreaded phone call that changed her life forever. She had moved on, of course, enjoying her time getting back into the dating scene, meeting new people, and getting to know them. Yet, she never felt the same way she did with him. Maybe it was because he was her first love or because they were best friends before anything else, but she couldn’t get him out of her mind, even three years later. She knew he would linger there, with the countless "what ifs" swirling in her mind, but she never expected to still feel the same love for him as she did all those years ago.

She still checked up on him through their mutual friends and asked around if they had heard from him, but nobody really knew much. Even if they did, they knew better than to bring him up too often, aware of the hurt she felt when he broke up with her. They tried to comfort her by saying he was planning to come back after handling all the legal stuff, and that calmed her.

When he finally made his much-awaited return to music, she was probably the proudest person ever. He returned to music after establishing his own company, and she couldn't have felt more amazed by him. She was happy that he didn't let his mistakes change him and ruin his passion for music, and she was glad that he was doing alright.

She missed him. She never stopped missing him, but now that he was in the news for his comeback and his songs were being played once again, she couldn't help her heart from aching to talk to him.

She knew she could never be with him romantically, especially after all that had happened between them, but her heart ached to just talk to him, to be like they were before their relationship. They truly had the purest friendship, always being each other's biggest cheerleaders, and often talked about having their own companies one day. Seeing him accomplish that dream tugged at her heartstrings and brought back all the memories she had hidden in the back of her mind.

"A little message wouldn't hurt, right?" she asked her sister on the phone as the topic of his return came up. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" her sister questioned, concern evident in her voice. She knew of the massive heartbreak her sister had experienced all those years ago and feared that reopening communication with him might lead to getting attached to him again.

"I'm not going back to him. Whatever we had is in the past. I just miss my friend," she explained sadly. She knew they would never get back to those ways again, but a little message wouldn't hurt. Besides, they never got the closure they needed. She needed this to finally let those feelings go.

"Alright, if you think that's the best idea, go ahead," her sister conceded, knowing that once Mirae made up her mind, it was hard to sway her. As their phone call ended, Mirae decided to contact him on Instagram.

Her hands shook slightly as she stared at his profile. After all these years, she didn't even know what to say. Should she send a long message, or was that too much? Should she just start with a hello? No, that's too short. She pondered it for many moments until finally, she sent the message and closed her phone, throwing it onto the couch.

M: Congrats on the label and new EP :)

Her message was small and to the point, and she hoped that he would respond. However, she also didn't know what she would do if he did. She waited patiently for a response, and it wasn't until a couple of hours later that she got one.

H: Thank you. It's been a while. How has everything been? :)

She smiled slightly at the message, happy to finally be talking to him again, and responded quickly.

M: Things have been amazing right now. Preparing for a comeback soon! How is everything for you? Family doing alright?

H: Family is amazing, and I've been doing great as well. Haven't been this happy in a while. It's nice to be back.

M: That's so nice to hear. I'm so happy for you, you know that, right? Truly, it makes me so happy that you have put that stuff behind you and are back doing what you love.

H: I kept a promise to you, didn't I? It was so tough, I'm not gonna lie, but it feels like it's paid off now that I can make the music I want on my own label.

M: The luxury of having your own label lol. I'm jealous.

H: It'll be you one day, don't worry, Mirae. Anyways, I would love to meet you one day just to catch up in person? I do have a lot of things to say to you, but it all depends on you. I understand if you wouldn't want to.

M: I'm free on Sunday? Before practice if you're available then?

H: Sunday sounds good. I'll see you then.

Their chat ended quickly, leaving Mirae feeling both ecstatic and anxious. On one hand, she was finally going to meet the man she had waited years to see. She was nervous about the conversation they were going to have, yet excited to see Hanbin—her Hanbin, her goofy, charming Hanbin who used to make her laugh on days when she wanted to cry. The Hanbin who would write her little songs, turning her insecurities into the most amazing poetic verses.

She was finally going to see him again, but was she ready to possibly reopen those feelings? She didn't know. But she did know that she needed to go and finally find some type of closure.

The anticipation made her heart race. Memories of their time together flooded her mind—the way he used to serenade her with his guitar, how they would stay up late talking about their dreams, and the countless moments they shared that made her feel cherished. Could they ever go back to being friends, or would the past continue to haunt them?

Mirae took a deep breath, determined to face whatever came next. She knew that confronting these emotions was the only way to move forward. As Sunday approached, she prepared herself to meet Hanbin, hoping to find closure and perhaps rekindle a friendship that once meant the world to her.

February 6th 2022

Sunday had arrived, and her nerves were kicking in. She was so anxious she couldn't even sleep the night before. She hadn't told anyone about the meeting, knowing they would probably say it was a bad idea to meet him so quickly. But she didn't care. She needed this desperately. She needed to see him.

Their breakup had been over the phone, so the last time she really saw him was when they were a couple. How could she not take up the chance? The thought of seeing him again after all these years was overwhelming, but it was also something she had to do for herself. She needed closure, and perhaps a new beginning—one way or another.

As she got ready, she could barely keep her hands steady. Every part of her was filled with anticipation and dread. Would he be the same? Would he have changed? She wondered if he felt the same way, if he was just as anxious to see her. The clock seemed to tick louder with each passing minute, and before she knew it, it was time to leave.

With one last look in the mirror, she took a deep breath and stepped out of her apartment. This was it—the moment she had been waiting for. No matter what happened, she was ready to face it head-on.

The pair decided to meet up at a restaurant near her place and had booked a private room to ensure nobody could be around and possibly see them together.

She walked into the room and saw his face, instantly starting to tear up as the emotions from all those years ago resurfaced, threatening to spill from her eyes. Hanbin noticed immediately and had to hold back his own tears as he saw her standing there, eyes glistening with emotion.

"Hey," he whispered, coming toward her as she stood frozen in place, unable to move. "Hi," she said softly, patting her under-eyes, embarrassed by how easily she started to tear up upon seeing him. All Hanbin wanted to do at that moment was hug her, but he knew he couldn't. She was already emotional just from seeing him, and he didn't want her to start crying into his chest. If that happened, he knew he wouldn't be able to let her go.

He knew he had to keep his distance, at least for now, so he gently rubbed her shoulder as she gathered herself. He led her to their table, pulling out her chair for her to sit, then took a seat in front of her. His heart was racing; he never expected this conversation to happen, yet here it was. The love of his life, whom he had lost because of his own mistakes, was sitting right in front of him, and all he could think about was apologizing for how it all ended.

She sighed, finally gaining control over her emotions, and offered him a small smile as she noticed the solemn look on his face. She knew he felt terrible, and that wasn't what she wanted at all. Seeing him for the first time in years and knowing that he was okay—after all he had endured—was so reassuring for her that she couldn't help but tear up. He looked amazing, healthier than he was when they were together. His face appeared more mature, and he seemed so much older, which tugged at her heart a little. But she was grateful that he was here and doing well.

The pair stared at each other, unsure of what to say. They had yearned for this moment for so long that now that it was here, they were at a loss for words.

After a few moments of silence, Hanbin finally cleared his throat and said, "I never would have expected this to happen, but I'm so thankful you decided to come out today. There are so many things I want to get off my chest, and I truly want to apologize for everything that happened between us and how horribly it ended."

Mirae nodded at his words and said, "Honestly, I've been waiting for this moment for so long, and I'm so glad it's happening. Truly, seeing you here today makes me so happy. Regardless of how it ended, just knowing you're okay makes me so grateful that it all turned out well for you."

The pair then ordered their food and began to talk about what they had been up to since their breakup. Hanbin shared about his trial and everything that went down, and he talked about his little sister, who Mirae was close with in the past, and how much she had grown and was becoming her own little person. Mirae discussed all the things Blackpink had accomplished, how she was preparing for their next comeback, and her own family life, as Hanbin was also close with her siblings.

As they talked about their families, a wave of sadness overcame them. Once, they had been so intertwined with each other’s lives, sharing everything and knowing each other's families like their own. It was hard to believe how much had changed, and now they found themselves as exes, catching up on the years they had missed. The intimacy they once took for granted now felt distant, and the realization of how much they had drifted apart hit them both deeply.

Hanbin also talked about his return to music and how he nearly gave up on it until he remembered the promise he made to her all those years ago. He decided not to let his fears stand in the way of the thing he loved most—his craft.

"I honestly want to thank you for that," he said to her. "I was ready to quit and leave it all behind, but knowing you were waiting made me push forward. I wish I could have talked to you about it, because you were always that person for me. We shared that dream of starting our own companies and doing things our own way, free from interference together."

"I'm just so happy that you did it," she said, smiling brightly for the first time. "131 is so clever and fits you perfectly. Although I wish I could have been there, seeing you achieve everything despite all those setbacks makes me incredibly proud and happy, truly, Hanbin."

Hanbin smiled and thanked her, his heart racing as he stared at her. She looked almost exactly the same, but there was a new sense of maturity about her. Her eyes no longer twinkled as they once did, and her cheeks had lost some of their roundness, likely due to her demanding schedule. Her nails, which used to be adorned with cute designs, were now painted a plain baby pink. Her ears, once lined with numerous earrings, now only had two, leaving the other holes bare.

He felt a wave of sadness as he thought about everything she must have endured over the years. He imagined the tears she had shed and the pain she must have felt when he called her during her tour to end things abruptly, leaving her to handle it alone. Hanbin had his own challenges, but he couldn't help questioning if he had handled things the right way. She would never blame him for it, but all Hanbin could do was blame himself. She deserved the world, and all he had given her was heartbreak.

Mirae noticed his silence and the deep thought etched on his face. She knew he must be feeling a lot of remorse for how everything had unfolded that day, but she didn’t want him to dwell on his own anger and regret. It had been a horrible situation, but she was grateful that it was all behind them now.

Time passed as they caught up on the past few years. The conversation flowed smoothly, which was a pleasant surprise for both of them, as the awkwardness they had expected was absent.

"So, have you dated anyone since then?" she asked, cringing slightly at her own question as soon as it left her lips. Hanbin smiled at her question and replied, "Honestly, no. There was one person, but nothing really came of it."

"What about you?" he asked softly.

"There were a few people," she said, nodding as she spoke. Then she made a small frown. "But honestly, besides one person, they didn't really last long."

Hanbin nodded and asked, "What about that one person? Are they still in your life?"

"No, we broke up," she said. "It was a nice relationship, but we wanted different things and were in different places in life."

Hanbin nodded, appreciating her openness. If he was honest with himself, it stung a bit to hear she had been happy with someone else, but he couldn't bring himself to be angry. She deserved so much love and happiness, and it was only right that she moved on.

"I know its not nice to hear about these things" She said wanting to change the topic away from their love life instantly, regretting ever bringing it up.

"No, it's not," he said truthfully, then continued, "But it makes me happy that you moved on. I never wanted you to be hung up on me. You deserve to find love, and I know I can never be that person for you anymore."

Mirae frowned, not expecting his comment to affect her as much as it did. She knew he was right, but now that he was sitting in front of her, having dealt with all his past mistakes, was she wrong to wish they could start again? To pick up where they left off and continue their relationship?

"Speaking about our love lives," she said before pausing for a moment. She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "I just want you to know that I don't have any ill feelings about our breakup at all."

Hanbin nodded, looking down slightly. He sighed, appearing as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Do I hate the fact that it was on the phone? Yes. But do I hate you for that? No, absolutely not. How could I? You went through the most horrible time and had to let go of so many things. Everything you worked for was in jeopardy. How could I feel angry at you for doing that?" she said, her eyes tearing up once again as she thought about the past.

"You may not blame me for that, but I do," he said, noticing her sadness. "I shouldn't have done it like that, and I know it may not affect you, but I saw those clips of you on tour crying, and I felt horrible. Yes, I decided to leave everything and everyone, but none of you deserved to be told like that. I was just worrying about your careers that I didn't think about how it would affect you mentally, especially because after that phone call, I blocked you and erased you completely from my life." Hanbin started to tear up before continuing.

"I thought I was protecting you guys without thinking about how much I was hurting you and myself. I wanted to unblock your number and message you every day, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't imagine you ever talking to me again, especially after the mess I made of things. I was so shocked to even see your message on Instagram. Never would I have thought you would forgive me for any of that, and honestly, you don't have to. I apologize, Mirae, so much for all of that, and I don't want your forgiveness. I just want you to know that I feel so much remorse for all of that." His tears were falling freely now, and he tilted his head down, apologizing profusely.

Her tears were falling down her face now too. Though she had moved on and forgiven him for it all, it felt nice to hear him apologize. He shouldn't have had to, but he did, and it just showed how much of an amazing person he was.

"You know what the hardest part of all this was?" she said, wiping her tears and gently reaching for his hand on the table, holding it softly and prompting him to look up at her.

"It was not being able to talk to you. I knew you needed someone there, and I saw how stubborn you were about letting anyone in. I just wished I could have been that person for you. I’m so glad you got through it all, and I’m incredibly proud of you for that, but I just wish you could have still talked to me, because I needed it too."

"You were my best friend," she said, her voice choking up. "There were times when I’d forget everything that had happened and think, 'Oh, let me text Hanbin about this.' And then I’d remember, and it would hit me all over again that I could never talk to you."

Hanbin frowned and looked down, unable to meet her gaze as he couldn’t bear to see her tears.

"And I asked everyone about you and how you were doing. Just hearing that you were okay would make my whole day so much better," she added softly.

"Im sorry" He said softly and she sighed and shook her head at that and let go of his hand.

"No truly" He said looking up and reaching for her again. He grabbed her fingers lightly.

“Stop apologizing,” she said, wiping the tears from her face.

“I can’t,” he said truthfully, wiping his own tears. “How can I, after hearing all that?”

"It wasn’t to make you feel bad," she said, her voice trembling. "It was me telling you that despite everything, I just wanted my best friend back. I missed you—I missed us. We had eight years of friendship, Hanbin. Eight years, and even though it ended in a breakup, I still hoped you wouldn’t cut me off completely. I thought we’d still be able to confide in each other. We were each other's go-to people, and instead, I had to hear from everyone else about what you were doing when I used to be the first to know."

“What else can I say except ‘I’m sorry’?” he said softly.

She sighed, frustration evident on her face. She didn’t need more apologies; she needed him to acknowledge what had happened and commit to being different. Was she foolish to hope for their friendship to be rekindled? To believe that they could put the past behind them and move forward as friends? Or was she asking for too much?

“What do you want me to say?” he asked, releasing her hand and leaning back in his chair. He found it hard to read her now, something that used to come so easily. It was strange how much time had passed and how different she had become.

"I just," she said, pausing to take a deep breath before continuing, "I just wish you would stop apologizing and just listen. I don’t need an apology, Hanbin. I know you feel remorse; I know it. But I’m sick of the ‘I’m sorrys.’ I just want you to never shut me out like that again. Until that happens, I won’t know that you’re truly sorry.”

"So you wish to be friends?" he asked, shock evident in his voice.

"Of course. Why wouldn’t you want to be?" she replied, a mix of surprise and embarrassment colouring her tone.

"I just didn’t expect you would want that," he said honestly.

She smiled at him softly and replied, "Hanbin, before it all, you were my best friend. I just need you back in my life. Everything has changed so much since you’ve been gone, and I need some stability again. It won’t be the same as it was, and I don’t think either of us can handle that, but I do need you around, even if it’s just to chat sometimes."

Hanbin smiled at her, his mood instantly lifting. "That was the one thing I wasn’t expecting, but I’m so happy you wish for that. And as much as I may wish to go back to how it was, I know we can never be like that again. I’m just grateful to even be a little bit back in your life," he said.

The pair then smiled and continued to chat, eventually turning to the topic of their music. Mirae decided to share the various songs she had written about him, each one capturing a different moment in their relationship.

She played the different songs she had recorded on her phone and silently watched as she payed attention to his face and how he reacted towards them.

"The Other Side" was being played, and as Hanbin listened to the lyrics, his heart beat faster and faster. The emotions she had poured into the song tugged at his heartstrings, and it felt as if he couldn't breathe while listening to it. The song was so raw and saddening to hear that he bowed his head, trying not to tear up as the song hit the chorus. She was brilliant, he thought, as the two-minute recording ended, leaving a heavy silence between them.

"That's the one I had the most difficulty recording," she said softly before closing her phone and watching him as he raised his head and stared at her.

"It was beautiful," he said, smiling sadly. "It truly is a great song, and I can't wait to hear it one day," he added with more conviction, and Mirae smiled at that. His approval was what she needed to hear.

Hanbin then played his own song "Take Care" for her, explaining how he wrote it while thinking about her and his former group members. He played a minute of the recording he had so far, his fingers lightly tapping the table to the beat.

Mirae listened intently, her expression changing as she absorbed the lyrics. He was talking about how they should take care and release all their memories of him, but how could they? After everything they’d shared? Kim Hanbin was someone they could never forget, and it saddened her to hear the song and imagine how he must have felt while recording it.

As the song ended she looked at him sadly, "You really thought we could just forget you?" she asked softly, her voice tinged with disbelief.

Mirae shook her head, reaching across the table to touch his hand. "You were never a burden. You meant so much to us, and you still do," she said, her voice filled with warmth and sincerity. "I hope you know that."

Their eyes met, and in that moment, a silent understanding passed between them. Hanbin then nodded, and the pair gently let go of each other's hands. Though the sadness lingered in the air, they chose to push it aside and focused on finishing their meal while talking about other things happening in their lives.

As they finished up their meal and parted ways, both looked back on their conversation with a smile.

A sense of peace settled over them as they made their way outside and headed in their own directions. The conversation had been a whirlwind, allowing them to reflect on their past while finding solace in the present and realizing that, despite everything, they had made it through.

The air was crisp, and though their past had left its mark, it no longer held them captive. They were moving forward, their paths diverging from what had once been, embracing the new possibilities ahead. Both felt a bittersweet clarity: the love they once shared would always be a part of their history, but it was the future that now beckoned them.

With a final glance back, they understood that while the past would always linger as a gentle echo, it no longer overshadowed their present or future. As they stepped into new beginnings, they carried with them the lessons of the past, looking forward to what lay ahead, free from the shadows that once defined them.

A/N: Been so long but I am back!!! Going to go back and update some of my past works but please enjoy this Part 2. Lowkey wanted to make him her endgame because this broke me so bad but it is just forcing me to make another Mingyu fic because we all know he is her true lover boy. Anyways hope you enjoyed and please give any feedback you may have!!!

[wolven91]

Slugs & Apes - Chapter 2

The looming alien remained still, like a monolith.

The only thing that betrayed that he was even alive was the steadily expanding chest before it mesmerizingly shrunk back down. It was... alluring in a strange yet exotic way. No one Blarah knew could move in such a deliberate and measured manner. It was one thing to hear about the ‘solids’ and the bipeds, but to see one was… nothing could have prepared her.

The second proof that he wasn't simply made of metal or stone were his eyes. Colourful things unlike the deep solid black of Sluggat-kind. White and green, they flicked left and right as they attempted to focus intently on one of her eye stalks at a time.

Why couldn't it just do what a normal person should do in polite conversation and use both its eyes to look at both of her eyes! To stare so intently at one was.. was.. lewd and very forward.

The poor overwhelmed sluggat moistened her eyes with deliberate slowness, and began to speak in the brief respite from his overwhelming gaze. Her mantra repeated again and again; ‘She was not some easily seduced floozy’.

The lie was comforting and easy to comprehend, even if she was well aware of its flimsy nature.

"Of - of course I can help, where were you trying to get to?" The young slug said in as professional a tone as she could muster.

"I was greeted by a rather large representative, a blue hue to him? However he asked me to go to the waiting lounge as he was called away. It seems the freighter we piggybacked through the jump with to get here needed his attention..."

"That sounds like the dockmaster, I can contact him and see if he wants to meet you here or if we need to send you away?"

"Ah, thank you, I'd really appreciate that."

Blarah began to type in the old slugs contact number as she tried to release the tension in her body. His voice, the deep vibrations that he blasted through the air directly at her in the tiny quiet office had rolled over her without mercy.

A grunt came from the communication device.

"Ah, sir? The human got a bit turned around and is in the administration office, do you want to come up and get him or should he make his way to you?" Blarah asked carefully.

The old dockmaster; Blargh, was an old and rightly huge sluggat with the blues common to his home planet's race. Sluggats after all never stopped growing, albeit slowly, as they aged. Blargh was probably the oldest most would have encountered and had the mass to back it up, although he had never actually said how old he really was.

"Urgh, uh, no.. take him to the diplomatic room prepared for him. I'll update your clearance now.."

"Wait, no sir, im- I'm quite swamped right now, we need someone else to-.."

"There; it's done, be sure to be polite, you're his liaison until the Big Slime says otherwise. Once he clears you; come back and you can catch up, I'll pay you double time while you're away and until you're back on track. .." the line cut off without so much as a farewell or chance for her to voice her protest.

She wasn't opposed to helping the alien, she wasn't one of these nutjobs that had demanded that not only the humans be denied entry into the Community, but petitioned for their abandonment without a home due to them not technically being considered ‘sentient’ by outdated classifications.

She felt sorry for this new species that were so alone in their troubles in a cruel and dry universe. 

But now, as she undulated with anxiety in the presence of one, they were, for lack of a better word, alarmingly, alien.

"Sorry if I'm causing you problems, but I really am grateful for your help." His face contorted, it seemed the only part of his flesh that was normal and alive, but even then; only parts moved and folded as she would expect. At the moment his mouth had stretched wide to the sides while the flesh around his eye holes crinkled up in what she tentatively labelled as 'happy'?

"It's alright, let's get to the lift." She said waving a wet tentacle. She stopped at the door to hit the lights, leaving the human briefly in the dark, just as the slappy, slick sounds of someone moving at speed came down the corridor.

Pleppany appeared in a rush and skidded to a stop in front of Blarah, out of breath and began to talk at the bemused sluggat.

"He wasn't on the freighter! He was on a transport that flew WITH the freighter, he landed over an hour ago!" She explained to Blarah, gesturing out the window and the massive ore freighter that was still inching its way into the dock on the other side of the window.

"He's loose and no one knows where he is! I'm going to miss my chance!" She groaned, practically losing all cohesion and puddling outwards on the floor.

"'Is she alright?" An earthquake-like voice rumbled not scant centimetres from Blarah's body.

Two opposite things happened at once that flew past the Human's notice.

Firstly, Pleppany did a fantastic impression of a human by coming to a complete frozen stand still, her eyes stalks shooting up and holding ramrod straight in shock.

Meanwhile, Blarah practically melted as the waves from his voice caused her skin to wiggle and roil. It took every scrap of her will power to prevent her eye stalks from becoming limp in the effects of his voice in such close proximity.

There was no denying it. He knew what he was doing, what he was doing to Blarah. Him and his hard skeleton and his.. his vocal sorcery!

She would have to address it sooner rather than later, but Pleppany, a credit to her craft, had re-coalesced and stood up again, rippling in the same manner as she did when she wanted the fast food slugs to get her extra portions or preferential treatment.

Pleppany had no shame as she oozed forwards and undulating, with practised ease, began to 'work' the Human as she had been trained to when seeking out a story.

"So! The mysterious humans finally made it to our humble corner, we're so glad you've made it; how was your trip?"

"It was alright, much quicker than our own transports."

"Oh yes, we're glad you're impressed with them, I suppose they're very confusing to you?" She continued, getting too close for comfort now as she tried to slosh herself between the human and Blarah. Pleppany continued without waiting for the Human to respond.

"I suppose you could do with a guide? I know all the best places on the station and both for socialising and getting some quiet time..."

The human’s face wrinkled again, but his mouth remained still, it was the flesh between his eyes that wiggled this time, as the two sets of dense whiskers that ran over his eye slots briefly came together or at least closer for a moment.

"Actually, I'm okay without. I have a guide for now thank you." He stated in a firmer tone than before. His own straight tentacle unfolded and extended past Pleppany's back before settling against Blarah's upper back, who had made a point not to be pushed away by the interloper, but now, with appendage touching her back, the harder, smaller tentacles pushed gently into her moist flesh to encourage her forward before relenting and folding back against his own side.

She got the message and surged forward, leaving the bewildered Pleppany in the snail trail. 

Blarah had experienced several times in the past what Pleppany was probably only getting to live through for the first time now; rejection.

Maybe he wasn't as bad as she thought, although he was still a cad for flirting so aggressively. 

With no further delays and in merciful silence they reached the transporter that would slide along the rails that crisscrossed the Station and deposit them as close as possible to their destination.

Her credentials were indeed now on par with the high class sluggats of the station which allowed her to select the diplomatic quarters near the top of the station, a far cry from her own quarters half way down and the middle of the Station's guts.

"So she was intense..." came a quiet rumble.

"That was Pleppany, a friend. She just thinks she needs to use her looks to get what she wants. Deep down she's actually quite insecure..." Blarah said, rippling in embarrassment and being honest in an attempt to defend her friend.

"I can understand that, I meant nothing by it..." the rumbling thunder said again. She had to keep taking deep breaths to remain steady and firm.

They stared out the window together as the transport rolled along towards their destination.

"My names Gregory by the way, or Greg for short..." Her mind was filled with rolling rain clouds over a parched savanna.

"Blarah, a pleasure to meet you." She demurely responded, a slight dip as she bobbed her entire body in respect.

A moment ticked by, followed by a second.

"This is why I'm here, you know..."

They stared out into deep space in silence together.

The rolling darkness that was the edge of space wasn't as black as one would think. It was the edge of the bubble that made reality. It was still expanding at a significant rate, but whether it be sluggat or human, the eye didn't know how to process the lack of existence that it was comprehending.

The result? 

A chaotic swirl of colours and impossible geometry. Truly and utterly breathtaking. The first pioneer sluggats that made it this far had apparently nearly starved due to their desire to sit and watch the unending show of the universe growing.

"It is beautiful..." She murmured, whispering it as fact that couldn't be denied.

"Yeah, I'm very lucky to be here right now..."

The silence was pregnant and long.

The ding surprised Blarah and caused her to ripple. Sliding and stepping off the lift in turn, placed them in front of his quarters, the only ones in use in the diplomatic quarter. As he approached, the doors opened into a plush and well furnished home.

It was not of sluggat design and it was just as strange as he, yet he strolled in as if it was his own home.

"Don't stay outside, come in and make yourself at home!" He called from inside.

Blarah's eyes bulged. Not just welcoming her, a stranger, into his home, but to demand she treat it as her home? He WAS courting her! To provide a shelter for one's partner, so they could begin the ancient dance in privacy?!

She wouldn't be taken by surprise.

She wouldn't be seduced.

She would give a polite rebuttal and excuse herself from his presence. 

Whilst this, the most dramatic dilemma she had ever encountered, played out in front of Blarah, she wouldn't have thought about the possibility that at the edge of the system; a sinister ship with a sinister goal could have slivered into the shadow of the planet like an eel; where it remained, coiled and waiting to strike.

[daily-shenanigans784]

Bound by Fate scene #1

Little scene from my novel, its still in its rough draft phase. but has been edited for grammar and spelling (I think). @finchly-tintinnabulation thanks for your help and letting me ramble.

~~~

Being cuffed to a table in an interrogation room was not how Pippin wanted to spend her Thursday afternoon. She would much rather be back on campus, holed up in the library with a book. But here she was staring at her reflection in the two-way glass thinking about how she needed to cut her hair. The battalion officer who had picked her up, Kurt Riley, or just Kurt, was incredibly vague about why he was taking her to the station. But she knew it had something to do with when she was last here, she didn't know what yet. So instead of spiraling down that path, she started contemplating how short she should cut her hair. The wild mass of curls was starting to become a rat's nest and Pippin didn't have the time to properly take care of her hair right now. It was currently thrown up in some semblance of a bun, but with Finals week right around the corner. She was spending all her time either in the library studying, or at work. 

After what felt like forever, Pippin finally heard footsteps coming down the hallway. Kurt walked in, walking with his signature scowl and a manila folder. She stayed silent as he set the folder down on the table, pulled out the chair across from her, and sat down. He folded his hand on top of the folder, and his eyes assessed the girl sitting in front of him. After she made no move to speak, Kurt started talking.

“I know that you are smart and that you have probably figured out that you are here due to what happened last week.” Pippin just nodded her head, waiting for him to continue. “Well, it came to the council's attention that your blood work is not in the Labs system. So we took your blood samples and ran them through.” At these words, Pippin's stomach dropped. All the fear that she kept down suddenly rose to the surface along with her magic. She was all of a sudden aware of Kurt's blood running through his veins and the air pumping through his lungs. But she expertly pushed down her magic and her fear before she responded.  

“I'm doing fine, Kurt. I'm healing quite nicely. Thanks for asking. How's the family?” His scowl deepened at her nonresponse to his statements. He was expecting her to kick up a fuss, to break out of the cuffs like she is known to do and tear him a new one. But her voice stayed even, and she kept eye contact with him. 

“Don't you want to know the results?” he asked. She only shrugged noncommittally. 

“I know that you are going to tell me anyway. No way you wouldn't pick me up on campus and drive me over here. Cuff me to the table and then not tell me anything even when I don't seem interested. So you might as well tell me.”

He nodded and opened the folder. She couldn't see what was in it yet, but Kurt picked up some photos. He kept them tilted towards him so she couldn't see. But Pippin hoped it wasn't their photos. She didn't know if she could handle seeing their faces, even if they were just in picture format. Kurt continued. 

“Your blood work showed that you have five Fated. They all had their blood work done when their magic came in so they knew that they had been a part of the same group for years. You have some very high-profile members as your Fated. So when you flagged in the system as a match for them, you created quite a stir within the community.” Great, that was the last thing she needed. Notoriety within the Mage community. She was trying to skate under the radar as much as she could. Also, Kurt's warning was ringing quite clearly to her. To him, she was just a magicless mage, a college student who had a pension for getting drunk and getting into bar brawls, and someone like that would not look good standing next to any highball players within the community. 

He picked up the photos again and started sliding them towards her on the table. The first was a photo of a man in Battalion gear, with short cropped black hair and dark piercing brown eyes. He was looking into the camera when the photo was taken, and Pippin could feel how much he didn't want that photo taken. The name underneath said ‘Anthony Winoc.’

Next was a nice photo of a man with honey-colored hair and honey-colored eyes. It was the kind of photo that looked like it would be on an ID badge. She recognized him as a professor at Eastwood University. She knew him as Professor Moran, but his first name was apparently Roy. 

The next two were very clear photos used on the student ID badges at her school. Cyrus Sorin had black hair that reached his shoulders and gray eyes hidden behind a pair of wire-rim glasses, while Beckett Neo had soft chestnut-colored curls and gorgeous green eyes that paired perfectly with his sun-kissed skin. 

In the last photo, Pippin recognized the man instantly. With his almost platinum blonde hair and sharp blue eyes, Pippin could recognize Callum Lennox anywhere. She may be quite removed from the mage community, but she knew who Councilmen Lennox was. He was a force to be reckoned with with his magic and as a council member. He was the high-profile member of the community that Kurt was talking about. Pippin did not doubt it. 

There are five photos of five different men, five devilishly handsome men. Five photos of her Fated. Five photos of the men who, on a genetic level, were made and then born to love and cherish her and her them. Pippin wanted to be sick. She was glad her hands were cuffed under the table because they had started shaking. 

Kurt had leaned back in his chair, watching as her eyes flickered across the photos, taking everything in, but her face stayed blank even when she looked back up at him and nodded towards the folder on the table that he had closed again. 

“Anything else in there for me? Like you letting me go so I can maybe get to work on time.”

He just shook his head at her. 

“You can go after you’ve met them. They are all waiting in one of the conference rooms. That is the reason why you were brought in today. So, you could meet them in a controlled and safe environment.” Safe for who, she wondered. She knew that Kurt knew her pension for violence, but she also knew that in his strange way, he cared for her. He respected her hatred of physical touch and ensured no one else had made the same mistake. But no matter how ideal the circumstances Kurt tried to make this be, she knew it was a bad idea for her to meet them, much less all of them at once. But no matter how much she wanted to bust out of these cuffs and wreak havoc to get out, she knew that it would just bite her in the ass even more. So, with a single sentence, she sealed her fate.

“Fine, lead the way”

[ruthserbel]

Fanfiction Information [x] Chapter Title: Chapter 13 Song: N/A Release Date: October 15tth, 2023 Word Count: 3.8k Content Warnings: N/A Notes: So of the voting for the poll is done, and it was 100% people want more NSFW things. So, I have an idea for one coming up within the next three or so. As I've said before, if a chapter is NSFW, I will have a SFW version as well, with anything NSFW stripped out. The NSFW version will also be clearly labeled, and marked as Mature using the Community Labels. Anywho~~ enjoy! I promise this is the last time there will be a 'do they?' chapter. I promise. From now on, we are into a fluffy romance. ♥ PS: At the bottom of this chapter there is a timeline - just so people are aware of where we are currently in the terms of this fanfiction. There are going to be some time skips coming (esp for book 2). But part 1 of this series is going to end after book 2.

Aria's POV

With a sigh, Ruth spoke quietly.  “If they are interrupting me for nothing important...” Ruth whispered, leaving his statement unfinished. He slowly moved back, making space between them again. “Who is it anyway?” Ruth asked as he walked towards the window, trying to see who it was.

Now, with space between her and Ruth, Aria realized what she had just done. Her face started to flush as she thought about it more – she had kissed Ruth. Not only that, but she also re-initiated it herself. Her face grew even more flushed as the memory replayed in her mind repeatedly. In order to conceal her embarrassment from Ruth, she turned around, with her back facing the window.

After a moment of looking out, Ruth let out another sigh. "Of course," he muttered as he made his way towards the stairs again. He noticed that Aria had her back turned to him, but he didn't have time to question it as another knock came from the floor below. This time, there was a voice after the knock.

"I know you're in there, Ruth," Riftan's voice said, muffled as it passed through the walls.

Ruth walked down the stairs and opened the door. Aria, however, remained where she was, temporarily hidden from view at the doorway. She heard their voices, but she couldn't understand what they were saying. Aria took some alone time to calm herself, placing her hands on her cheeks to cool them down.

After a few minutes - once Aria’s face had gone back to normal – she made her way down the stairs. As she took the first few steps, she heard the conversation between Riftan and Ruth.

“How long will they need people for?” Ruth questioned, his voice quiet.

“Uncertain. They asked for a few knights to go up as soon as possible," Riftan replied, speaking quietly.

Aria stopped her descent down the stairs as she heard their conversation. She was uncertain about whether she should stay upstairs until Riftan left. As she contemplated, the conversation continued downstairs.

“Who’s going first?” Ruth questioned, sitting down in the chair by the stairs and didn't notice Aria standing on the top steps.

Riftan mentioned several knights, some of whom Aria knew, but many of them were unfamiliar to her. She noticed a lull in the conversation for a moment before Riftan let out a sigh. "If you didn't need to recover, you were going to be one. They did mention that they needed more mages, but..." Riftan added, his voice trailing off briefly as Aria took another step down the stairs upon hearing about sending Ruth.

Although Aria hadn’t given it much thought, she knew it was something that would happen eventually. They were knights after all. Eventually, they would need to depart to fulfill a mission, conduct raids, or engage in various tasks. Worry consumed her as she pondered over it, even though she lacked the complete information. With her increasing concern, she had taken a few more steps down the stairs – now catching Riftan's attention.

Aria looked into Riftan's eyes and noticed a slight smirk playing at the corners of his mouth as she continued down the stairs. The smirk on his face grew even wider, and as she reached the bottom of the stairs, her face started to blush slightly.

She felt her face slightly flush again before she cleared her throat, greeting him. "Good morning," Aria said, her voice trembling as she spoke, which made her face blush even deeper out of embarrassment.  

Riftan replied with a short nod, but the smirk lingered on his lips as he turned his attention back to Ruth. "I'm sorry," Riftan said, his gaze fixed on Ruth. Aria couldn't help but feel that his apology wasn't directed solely towards Ruth. “Are we able to discuss this more?” Riftan asked his question, directing his full attention towards Ruth. His tone conveyed the desire for their conversation to remain private.

Aria picked up on that fact, and she cleared her throat again. "I... Um... I should leave," she said, looking down at Ruth as she spoke.

“Sorry,” Ruth said to Aria with a weak apologetic smile. Shaking her head, Aria waved her hand in the air – brushing off his apology.

 With that, Aria snuck past the two men, making her way to the door. As she opened the door, Riftan spoke from behind her. Your brother was in the dining hall when I left. That was about ten minutes ago,” Riftan informed Aria as she stepped out of the door.

"Oh, thank you," Aria replied, now realizing that she still hadn't been shown the new location of their rooms. With a small wave, she closed the door behind her, leaving the two men alone in the room.

Ruth’s POV

Ruth watched as the door closed behind Aria. The two men sat in silence, listening to the fading sound of Aria walking away. After they faded, Ruth let out a sigh, going back to the previous conversation.

“You can continue now,” Ruth said, leaning back in his seat as he waited for Riftan to continue. He chose to ignore the smirk still on Riftan's face in the hopes of returning to their previous conversation, especially since Riftan had interrupted him.

Riftan chuckled quietly before responding, but his response wasn't connected to the previous conversation. "She seemed a bit flustered," Riftan said, raising his eyebrows questioningly at Ruth as he spoke. “Did something happen?”

Ruth rolled his eyes in response to Riftan's question. "If you're going to interrupt me, at least finish the conversation," Ruth said, sounding annoyed. Riftan immediately recognized this and chose not to press for more information at that moment.

"As I mentioned..." Riftan said, restarting their previous conversation. "They asked for any available mages to go... But with your arm," Riftan said, briefly glancing at Ruth's arm, "you are unable to do it at the moment. So, we will hold off on sending you right now.” Riftan explained.

"'Sending me right now'," Ruth repeated what Riftan had said, understanding the meaning behind his words. "So, to clarify, are you saying that there could be multiple groups going?" Ruth questioned, even though he knew the answer. Yes.

Aria’s POV

The halls seemed busy with knights carrying things around in every direction. Aria hurriedly went to the dining hall, making sure not to obstruct the knights as she went. Once she entered the dining room, she noticed that it was quite empty except for Jasper and Lily sitting at a table with a few other knights. As she got closer to them, she overheard their conversation.

“How many were injured?” Jasper asked Ulyseon who was on the other side of the table. Lily ignored their conversation, drawing on a small sheet of paper in front of her with a pencil. At the mention of injured, Aria felt a wave of fear wash over her for a moment. They must have been talking about the same thing Riftan was talking to Ruth about. She shook her head after a moment, trying to wash away the thoughts.

"So far, there have been around 100," Ulyseon responded to Jasper. 

"But that number will continue to increase," Garrow added from across the table before he glanced up at the approaching footsteps. "Oh, hello Aria," he said. With Aria's name mentioned, Jasper and Lily both turned their heads to see her approaching the table.

“Hello,” Aria said as she reached the table and sat down next to Lily, who leaned against her. "Why is the number going to increase? What’s going on?” Aria asked, unsure of what had actually occurred. She had overheard a bit of information from Riftan at Ruth's, but they didn't explain to her what was actually happening.

"Two nights ago, another village was attacked during the night, just like the previous incident..." Ulyseon began to explain, but then paused, allowing Aria to complete the rest of the details.

Aria thought back to a moment, remembering the day from a few months ago. The thuds rang in her ears again. The sensation of heat and pain returned as she delved deeper into her thoughts. She was only brought out when she felt her brother gently place his hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. With a small smile to her brother, she turned back to Ulyseon.

“So, some of the knights are going?” Aria asked, although she already knew the answer to that. Hoping that perhaps she had misheard or misunderstood, and that it wasn't true.

“A few for now,” Garrow replied. "They believe the monster responsible for it is still nearby, so they are hoping to address the issue," he further explained. Before they could explain anything else, a voice called out from the door.

"Ulyseon, Garrow, could you both come and help for a moment?" the knight at the door called, grabbing the attention of all five individuals in the room. It was a knight whom Aria had never talked to before, but she had heard his name mentioned before: Uslin Rikaido.

“Well,” Ulyseon said as he stood up from the table with Garrow. "See you three later," he said as both he and Garrow followed Uslin out of the dining room, which was now almost empty. The only other people in the dining room were a few maids cleaning up some of the tables, talking amongst themselves.

As the three of them sat in silence, Aria couldn't stop thinking about the information she had just received. It made her worry as she thought about it - people she knew and had become close to leaving, and possibly getting injured. The thought spun in her mind. She thought about Ulyseon, who was younger than her, getting injured, or Garrow.

“Aria?” She heard, dragging her out of her mental spiral. Lifting her head, she looked towards her brother.

 “Hmm?” She questioned, unsure of what he had said earlier.

Jasper let out a quiet chuckle before he placed his hand on her shoulder. "Why don't I show you to your new room?" he offered.

 “Sure,” Aria said with a nod.

Jasper led Aria to her room, which was one floor up and located at the opposite end of the castle from their previous rooms. As she sat down on the bed, she expected her brother to start questioning her about the events of the previous day and where she had been at night. However, much to her surprise, he didn’t question her.

Instead of questioning her, Jasper chose to go and see if the knights required any assistance. After he left, Aria and Lily stayed in the room for a while – Lily preoccupied with one of the cats that had followed them into the room. Lily sat on the floor playing with the cat as Aria watched.

The day went by uneventful after that. Aria and Lily stayed in Aria's room for a while before heading to the library, as Lily wanted to check if Ruth was there. The two stayed there for a while, waiting to see if Ruth would come. Aria had eventually picked up a book and started reading it, even though she had already read it. It was something to keep her busy for now. 

She read for a while before there were some sounds from outside which caught her attention. Standing up, Aria walked over to the window and immediately identified the source of the sound. As she looked outside, she saw a group of knights on horses, carrying supplies with them. Aria scanned the area, and that’s when she spotted Ruth.

Aria watched as the knights departed, leaving the castle grounds. Once they were out of sight, I looked back down to where Ruth had been standing, only to find that he was no longer there. “Huh…” She whispered before she turned around again, making her way back to her seat. ‘Maybe he’s on his way here now,’ Aria thought to herself as she opened her book back up and attempted to read again. 

After a few page flips – which Aria hadn’t even read any of it – Jasper came into the library. “There you two are,” he said. Once Jasper reached Lily, he gently placed his hand on her head. Lily laughed and tried to swat it away. Aria observed Lily's unsuccessful attempt to push Jasper's hand away briefly, before shifting her gaze back towards the door - waiting. After a moment, she sunk into her seat. ‘Guess not,’ she thought to herself again.

The days that followed went similarly. Aria would wake up and then wake up Lily. Jasper, Lily, and she would sit down for breakfast every day. Aria would always look around to see if she spotted Ruth, but she never did. Throughout the day, Aria and Lily would go to the library, and every day Aria expected to see Ruth there. However, every day she felt saddened as she walked into the room to find it empty. There were traces of him being there though, as he would often leave something out on the table.

Eventually Aria got questioned by her brother one night after Lily went to bed. With reluctance, Aria explained what had happened that day between Conan, Ruth and her. When he asked her about what happened later that night, she sighed and replied.

"That..." she began, reclining on her bed. “I don’t want to talk about it right now,” she said. Truth was, she herself wasn’t sure what was going on. They had kissed, but they haven’t seen each other since then. Aria was confused, and worried about the whole situation. When she had pulled him back in for the kiss, did she do something wrong? A frown formed on her face as she thought about it. She had been going to the library every day for a few days, hoping that Ruth would appear or already be there. Instead, she always found an empty library when she and Lily arrived, and they always left without him showing up. When she glanced around the room, it became evident that he had been there. The presence of scattered papers on the table indicated his visit. Aria neatly stacked the papers and placed them on the side of the table for him.

Jasper understood and didn’t pressure her more for information.

On the seventh day, Lily had decided to do something with Jasper instead, so they left early in the morning. Aria debated on joining them, but ultimately decided against it. She had found a few books within the library that she hadn’t read yet, so she had been enjoying reading those.

Aria made her way to the library, carrying a few of the books she had borrowed to read. As she turned the corner to the library, she was shocked to see a figure sitting at the desk. His white hair was disheveled as he worked on something on the table, some kind of object. A wave of relief washed over her at the sight of him being there.

Quietly she entered the room, carefully setting her books down on the table as she watched Ruth work away, not noticing her. He was fixated on the small object in front of him. Aria looked at the object, puzzled, as she watched him etch some figures onto it. After a moment he set the object down with a sigh. 

“What is that?” Aria asked once the object was on the table, so as not to startle him beforehand and risk him dropping it.

Ruth looked up at her as she spoke, and that's when she noticed the dark circles under his eyes, a clear sign of exhaustion. He let out a sigh before he responded. "It's a magical device," Ruth explained, stretching his arms out in front of him.

"Oh..." Aria said quietly as she looked back at the object on the table. She noticed similar markings as she had seen on the object in the tower the other day, even though she had no idea what any of it meant.

“Is this what you’ve been busy with?” Aria asked after a moment, noticing Ruth's tired expression. “Is… Is it something I can help with?” She asked wearily. She had a feeling she already knew the answer to that, but she offered anyway.

Ruth looked at her for a moment, raising his eyebrows. After a moment of thought, he shook his head. "No... There is nothing you can do to help," he said, leaning back in his chair now. "It is what has kept me busy, though."

"Is this why all of those the papers that were scattered on the table?" Aria asked as she sat down across from him.

With a laugh, Ruth nodded. "You mean the ones that always appeared to be neatly stacked whenever I returned?" He jokingly questioned her.

"Exactly those," responded Aria, playfully echoing his tone and releasing a gentle giggle. "We needed to use the table, so I tidied them up for you," she explained after a moment.

Ruth waved his hand in the air as she explained. "It's okay, I'm used to not sharing this room very often," he said, lowering his hand back to his side. "Other than Maxi, who has been gone for a while, I have primarily occupied this room. None of the knights enter this room, so I have become accustomed to leaving my things out." Ruth leaned forward again, explaining as he grabbed the object and flipped it over again - inspecting the piece.

Aria watched as Ruth inspected the object. He examined the object carefully, flipping it over a few times. He made some adjustments to the engravings that were already on it and added new ones, occasionally referring to the papers in front of him.

After a few minutes, Aria reached for the top book from the pile she had brought in. She opened the book to the page where the piece of paper was and placed the paper on the table. 

The room fell silent for a while, with only the sound of pages being flipped and the occasional sound of Ruth etching something. As Aria finished reading her book, she glanced over the top of it to observe Ruth, who was still going over the device in front of him. Her mind started to wander to the last time they were together as she silently observed him. She felt her heart racing as thought about it, and her face started to flush. Biting her lip, she closed her book – setting it on the table.

But what did it all mean to him?  They hadn’t had a chance to talk about it, since she left right after. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to ask Ruth about it. What if he said it was a mistake? After a moment, she mustered up enough courage to clear her throat. Her voice was quiet as she spoke.

"Um..." Aria murmured, catching Ruth's attention. "Can we discuss what occurred in the tower?" Aria asked, her voice growing slightly louder as she spoke. As she spoke, Ruth placed the device back on the table.

With a small sigh, Ruth spoke, his voice quiet as well. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I shouldn’t have done that…”

Aria’s eyebrows furrowed at his statement. "Are you saying that because... You feel like I didn't want it, or because you don’t feel… that way… about me?” Aria questioned, emphasizing her sentence.

"I am not saying I don't have those feelings for you." Ruth whispered, as he noticed that Aria misunderstood his apology. "I shouldn’t have don-" Ruth explained, before Aria cut him off with a quiet whisper.

"I told you not to apologize for it… Honestly… I didn’t mind it," Aria whispered.

The room fell silent after that. The only sounds were footsteps outside the library. After the footsteps faded, Ruth broke the silence.

He slid his chair backwards, standing up from the table. "Does that mean..." Ruth trailed off as he made his way around the table. Aria watched him, taking bated breaths as he walked around. "what I think it means?" Ruth questioned as he stopped in front of her.

Aria stammered for a moment, as she tried to speak. "Um... I..." Aria whispered as Ruth started to bend over so they were at the same height now. She felt her face start to flush as she realized the closeness between them again. Taking a deep breath – attempting to get a coherent answer out, she gathered herself.

"Yes..." She finally said after a moment, and her eyes locked with Ruth’s as she said the next part. "I… like you," Aria said, her voice going back to a whisper as she spoke, her face going a deep shade of red. She said it. She felt a relief fall off her shoulder when she had said it.

Once her admission came out, the room fell silent again. Aria opened her mouth to speak a few times, but every time she tried to, she wasn’t able to form words. She could never have imagined that she would be telling anyone that she liked them, but there she was. They locked eyes as the room grew silent, their only sound was their breathing. 

Ruth stayed quiet for a short time. Then, he smirked. His voice was no more than a whisper.

“I’m glad you said that.” Ruth whispered, before leaning in. The distance between the two – which wasn’t much beforehand – vanished as he leaned forward.

Aria closed her eyes, shutting out the world, amplifying the sensations that followed. His hand gently lifted her chin, causing butterflies to flutter in her stomach. This had happened before, but those sensations still happened.

Aria felt a rush of emotions when their lips met, along with a growing warmth. The warmth started in her core, then grew out – expanding to her whole body.

Aria felt as Ruth’s hand moved from her chin, moving up to cup her cheek. His thumb gently stroking her jaw line. The feeling of his moving along her jawline caused her to let out a quiet moan. As the sound came from her, her body stiffened. That was a sound she had never made before, and it startled her. She wasn’t able to focus on it for long though, as their kiss deepened.

As Aria kissed him more, she felt a strange sensation in her stomach, growing like the warmth had before. At first, she felt butterflies, but then it spread and tingled throughout her body. It was something she had never felt before. As the sensation grew more and more, she scrunched her nose. It wasn’t a sensation that hurt, but it was one that felt weird.

"Uh..." Aria groaned as she broke the kiss, pressing her forehead against his. She took a few deep breaths before she was able to think straight. The sensation that had been growing was now fading. The room was filled with sounds of them breathing again, as they both tried to catch their breath for a moment.

[braveclementine]

Chapter 21

Warnings: 18+readers only, pet names, fluff, angst

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OCs: Elizabeth Silvertongue and Clementine Greenleaf. I also own Clementines' brother Donavan. The following OCs are owned by other Wattpad writers as this is a collaboration project. Their OCs are on the face claim page. I do not condone any copying of this.

Firstly, can I just say, 'Thanks a lot Heimdall?' He just had to come down from God knows where (actually apparently he is a God so that's just confusing) and had to declare that my life was in imminent danger. 

Naturally, this put Bucky and Steve into a mood. I could barely go to the bathroom now without one of them tailing me. I was dreading the moment when school started back up because I could only imagine the sort of security detail they were going to put on me there. 

I felt terrible too, because Steve and Bucky couldn't even spend Thanksgiving at their own house, since Heimdall had said I needed to move into the Avengers tower. They said they didn't mind, that my safety was more important than Thanksgiving traditions but still, it certainly wasn't something I felt good about. 

The others were trying to make me feel welcome, trying being the key word. Tony seemed very on edge with my presence, something Bruce was trying to get him to ease out of. My presence could raise questions about whether I knew of the Avengers secret identities or not, as well as raise more awareness as to where I was. So, I was not allowed out of the tower at all. 

Most of the others seemed nice. Sam and Loki were the ones I was probably on best terms with. Sam and Loki had even taught me self defense until Steve had walked in on Loki pinning me to the ground and nearly took his head off with a shield. Loki turned invisible for a few hours to let Steve blow the steam off on the punching bags instead. 

Although. . . I'm not sure it was the self defense Steve was furious about now that I think about it. 

But, most of the others regarded me as a kid. Especially the people like Pepper Potts and T'Challa Udaku who I had as actual teachers. 

I tried to keep in contact with Clementine, since I knew she had gone back home with Donavan, but Tony was quite against me having open communication since someone could hack my phone and track my location. 

Thanksgiving morning came and the entire tower smelled like Turkey and stuffing. I had asked if I could help with the preparations, but Tony had a personal catering team that would prepare the entire meal, so there was no need for me. Instead, I contented myself with making a homemade pumpkin roll to eat solely by myself later. 

That was what I was doing when I heard a sharp voice say, "Oh!" 

I turned to see a Caucasian woman with blond hair standing there. She looked very surprised to see me here, probably as surprised as I was to see her. This was Steve and Bucky's personal floor, so the fact that someone else was in here was surprising. 

"Who are you?" We asked at the same time. I noticed her hand slowly inching down her side. I was going to need to de-escalate the situation so I could avoid being shot at. 

"I'm a friend of Steve and Buckys'." I answered, not sure where she was on the spectrum of knowing things. If she was aware I was a student, I did not want her knowing of our courting relationship. 

"Just a friend?" She asked skeptically. 

"Yes." I replied evenly. 

"I've never seen you around before." She was still highly skeptical. 

"Well, I've never been here before." I admitted. "It's only for my safety right now." 

She frowned, "Oh. Oh I know who you are. You're the girl that Heimdall declared needed protecting, right?" 

"Um, yes." 

"Friends." She scoffed. "You can just say you're fuck buddies." 

"We're no-" 

"Look, a piece of advice." She smirked, leaning against the doorframe. "None of their past fuck buddies have lasted. And they've gone through quite a few. But in the end, the only ones they really love is each other. So, my advice? If you're looking for something long term, look somewhere else, cause you're not going to find it here and you'll waste your years." 

She shoved off the doorframe, turning and leaving. "Happy Thanksgiving!" She called over her shoulder, the apartment door closing behind her. 

I stared after her for a few seconds, feeling an uncomfortable pit twist in my stomach, staring at the closed door. 

I had known, of course, that this relationship we had going on would not last. Logically speaking, it was impossible for it to last, as it was illegal to marry more than one person. The relationship did not work. So knowing that it would not last, was not new knowledge to me. 

However, the very unpleasant way that she had put my situation was painful. I wondered if that was how the others viewed the relationship, and if that was why they didn't care to befriend me, the way I thought they might. 

"Elizabeth?" I blinked, finding Bucky standing in front of me. He was bent slightly at the waist, looking into my eyes, concern in his own eyes. "Hey, you okay doll?" 

"Uh, um, yeah, I'm fine." I mumbled. I forced myself to snap out of it and said far more cheerfully. "Sorry, must've been lost in thought." 

"You sure?" I jumped, not having picked up that Steve was behind me. He also looked rather concerned. 

"Yes, yes, I'm fine." I laughed, hoping they didn't realize how off it sounded. I needed to shake off the womans' words. They were nothing new and hell, they might've even been said out of jealousy. No reason to be upset or question them or anything. Besides, if the relationship wasn't going to last, I didn't want there to be any fights in our fleeting time together. 

"Sorry." I finally grinned. "I was just making a pumpkin roll. I got bored and Tony said he didn't need help with dinner cause he has professionals doing it for him. Which, honestly, I feel like family made is much better, but I suppose he could always surprise me. Tonight's dinner is good enough for a billionaire anyways." 

I was talking to much and to quickly. As supersoldiers, I knew they had picked up that something was wrong, especially from the looks they were giving each other. But as Bucky simply said, "Well it smells good" and as Steve agreed with him, I knew they were going to try and figure it out another way. 

"Seriously, guys, I'm fine. You just scared me, since I didn't notice you two at first, that's all." I sighed, touching Bucky's shoulder. "Really, I am super duper fine." 

"If you say so." Steve murmured, wrapping his arms around me. "Your heart is beating quickly." He admitted. "Sorry for scaring you Princess." 

"Yeah, sorry Doll." Bucky said quietly. 

"It's alright." I smiled. "Now then, how about I teach you boys how to play Monopoly?" 

ꨄ︎

I was halfway wishing that I had gone home for Thanksgiving. Nothing against Tony, the meal just wasn't what I was expecting at all. 

I guess I had been expecting it to be like how it was at home. A proper dining room table set with the fanciest dishes and silverware that we had. We would all sit around the table, hold hands, say grace, then eat calmly there and then. 

Avengers Thanksgiving was nothing like that. There were buffet tables, filled with food. Most people stood and ate in small circles and they wore dresses and suits like they were at a charity gala. I stood out like a sore thumb and I hated it. I wished someone had told me the dress code. 

There was also a bar, which was running drinks out left and right and I took a seat nearby, practically hiding in the corner. Steve and Bucky had said they would meet me down here. I had thought I would be glad for the time alone, but now I just wished I had someone by my side. 

Well, Gods seem to make wishes come true, as Loki approached me from my left side. "Elizabeth, I want to introduce you to-" 

I heard a squeal and looked up to see Ivy on Lokis' arm. Ivy pulled me into my arms, making me laugh. "Good to see you Ivy." I glanced teasingly at Loki as the black haired girl pulled away. "So, this is your student pet?" 

Loki let out the slightest of coughs. "Well, er, yes. Although I share her with Wade, admittedly." 

I had no idea who Wade was, but it seemed like Steve and Bucky weren't the only polyamorous relationship in the tower. 

Ivy looked gorgeous, wearing a silk, forest green dress, that was high on her hip. The two of them looked very. . . well sexy together. Both of them were rather tall, with long black hair, though Ivys' was definitely longer than Lokis'. 

"Well, you two look very nice together." I offered, wishing I had something to drink. I looked at Loki, "Um, do they give people sodas or something?" 

Loki rolled his eyes. "Honestly, the fact that those two left you alone. Bartender, a rootbeer." He flicked his fingers at the man behind the bar who nodded once. Loki turned back to me while Ivy looked on amused. "And. . . there." He flicked his fingers at me and I looked down to see that I was now enveloped in a light purple dress. 

"Nice." Ivy grinned, "You look beautiful." 

I turned, looking for the mirror, and saw that I was wearing a lilac purple dress, held up by my breasts which was a style I was not used to wearing. There was a stitching of purple roses across my chest and waist. He had done something fancy and curly with my hair, pining up parts, letting other strands fall around my face. Pairing everything with white stockings, black school girl shoes, and a strand of double pearls around my neck. 

"Oh. . . wow." I mumbled. It certainly wasn't something I would have picked, definitely not for a Thanksgiving meal either. But it was very beautiful, and I noticed it had a slight vintage style to it. "Thank you." 

"So where are your boyfriends?" Ivy asked casually, asking the bartender for some fancy sounding alcoholic drink. Loki leaned across the counter, swiping the bourbon flask, pouring his own shot, reminding me very vividly of Damon from Vampire Diaries. 

"I'm not sure." I responded as casually as I could. After we'd played four games of monopoly, they'd said they had to go and had left with the same warnings of staying safe and emergency contacts through F.R.I.D.A.Y. as they always did. "A meeting or something." 

"Oh! There's Wade!" Ivy said excitedly, pointing across the room towards a man in a red and black uniform that I recognized vaguely as Deadpool. 

"You might want to rein him in before he does something stupid." Loki drawled, swirling the whiskey around in his tumblr, watching as the somewhat superhero started to juggle knives. 

Ivy swept away and Loki looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "What happened?" 

"What?" I asked, flicking my eyes up to his, swallowing more soda than meaning to. 

Loki rolled his eyes. "Norms, I'm not as stupid as Midgardians. What happened to put you in this mood?" 

"Well I thought I was hiding it well." I mumbled, not answering his question as I finished the rootbeer. Loki signaled for another one. 

"Fine." Loki muttered and I was startled as he touched my shoulder. His eyes had turned green, before he dropped his hand, eyes returning to blue. He sipped his drink and then said, "Don't let Sharon bother you, she's a complete bitch." 

I blinked and then narrowed my eyes. "Hold on. . . did you like. . . read my mind?" 

"I swear. . ." Loki muttered darkly. "Yes, of course I read your mind." 

I glared at him. "That's highly invasive. I ought to sue you." 

"No one would believe you." He yawned. "Anyways, Sharon. She's a bitch and James hates her guts. I wouldn't worry about her. Especially about how long your relationship lasts. She barely stayed with them for four months before they dropped her." 

"Well she did say they dropped their er- 'fuck buddies' rather quickly." I mumbled. 

"She was just trying to get to you. She's jealous, I think that's obvious." Loki huffed. "Besides, you're not their 'fuck buddy' as she so modestly put it. If that's all the soldiers wanted out of a girl, they wouldn't have chosen you." 

I felt startled as I looked into his blue eyes. I hadn't even thought of that. 

Loki tossed the rest of the drink back. "Now I'm going to go be with my girl. And if those soldiers aren't here in another five minutes, you come get me. I'll go find them and kill them for not being by your side." 

I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "Thanks Lokes." 

"No, that nickname is not sticking." Loki gave me a warning glance before walking confidently through the crowd to where Ivy and 'Wade' were. 

I didn't have to wait five minutes, as Steve and Bucky showed up only one minute later. Steve was wearing a brown and beige suit and tie, which looked good on him. His fluffy blond hair was gelled back just slightly, giving it a darker look. He looked very pink in the cheeks as he looked down at me. 

Bucky on the other hand, was wearing a red suit, with a black bowtie. He was not wearing gloves like he usually was, his black metal hand pairing with the suit nicely. He'd attempted to pull his long hair back like Steve, but had somewhat failed, making his hair look like it was bunched in a ponytail. 

"You look beautiful, where did you get this?" Bucky grinned as he kissed my cheek. 

"Loki illusioned it on me. . . I think." I said hesitantly. "It might disappear at midnight." 

"I don't think he knows that fairy tale." Steve grinned, although Bucky shot the God of Mischief a glare from across the room. 

"Ah yes, my glorious protector." I teased Bucky, reaching up and shaking his hair out so that he was back to normal. "Don't worry about Loki, he seems very smitten with Ivy." 

"I love the dress." Steve said, softly. "It sort've looks like something from our time." 

"I thought it looked vintage." I exclaimed, blushing a little. 

"It's very beautiful. You're beautiful." Bucky said sincerely, though he still wrapped a possessive arm around my waist. 

"So beautiful Princess." Steve said softly, gently pressing his lips against mine. "Come on, Buck and I have something we want to show you." 

I let the two men lead me through the party room, before going out onto a balcony. Bucky wrapped a jacket around my shoulders, the two of them leading me over to a small garden area. There was a small fire going, though nothing huge and Steve put his own jacket down on the stone bench, before lifting me up and placing me down on it. 

"We got s'mores." Bucky grinned, showing me the packages. 

I couldn't help but smile too. "Really?" 

"And hot chocolate and popcorn." Steve said lightly. "Thought you'd enjoy it. Especially when ten o'clock hits." 

"Why? What happens at ten?" I asked, perking up in interest. 

"Well telling you would spoil the surprise." Bucky smirked, picking up a roasting stick, unceremoniously shoving two marshmallows onto the metal pipe. 

I pouted, "Bucky, you're abusing your marshmallows." 

"Doll, they're marshmallows. Sweet little marshmallows that I'm going to roast over a fire, before I smush them between two graham crackers and chocolate." He said, his voice becoming dark and menacing in a joking way. "Before being devoured by yours truly. I think effectively ending their lives by impaling them is being nice." 

Steve rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he neatly put his marshmallow on the end of the metal stick, putting it over the fire. "Wow Buck, you should've taught writing classes." 

"I know right?" Bucky said in a 'I'm one hundred percent right' voice. "But the dumb bird got in the way." 

"Do you hate him?" I asked curiously. 

"No." Steve answered. "They get along well enough at least." 

"But you don't like Loki?" I asked again. 

"Look, Loki is better now, but I don't completely trust him. He did try to destroy New York once upon a time." Steve shrugged. "Leeway for being brainwashed by a Titan. But he is a God of mischief. Trust can only go so far with him." 

I contemplated that. "Fair." 

I pulled my marshmallow out of the fire, squeezing it between the graham crackers and chocolate. 

"You didn't leave it in there for nearly long enough." Bucky shook his head, clicking his tongue in disappointment. "You're supposed to burn it so it turns black." 

I stuck my tongue out, pretending to gag. "I'll pass, thanks. I prefer not eating carbon." 

Bucky gasped dramatically. "Stevie, did you hear that? She called my perfectly roasted marshmallow carbon!" 

"Now, now kids." Steve said sternly. 

I giggled, snuggling up against Bucky, who wrapped his other arm around me. We ate s'mores until I felt sick, while they pulled out hot chocolate to sip, topped with marshmallows. It soothed my stomach a little and I appreciated it. 

As ten o'clock rolled around, Bucky and Steve shifted over so that each of them were sitting on either side of me. Steve wrapped his warm around around my shoulder, while Bucky simply looped his metal, jacket covered arm through mine. 

The outside patio lit up, nearly blinding me, with thousands of brilliant white lights. Looking upon them closer after I got used to it, I saw that they were all shaped like small snowflakes. Somewhere in the background, 'It's beginning to look like Christmas' started to play softly. I smiled at that, looking over at Steve. 

"We uh, put it together ourselves." Steve murmured softly. "You said one of your favorite things about Thanksgiving is that it's the official transition into Christmas, which is your official favorite holiday. So we um, decide to officially make Christmas official for you." 

"That's a lot of officials." I teased softly, before pressing my lips to his. "Thank you for this-" I turned to Bucky, kissing him too. "-both of you." 

"C'mon, I want to wake up tomorrow with both of you in my bed." Bucky said, getting up from the bench. 

"It is nearing Steve's bedtime." I teased again, standing up as well. 

"Alright you two." Steve rolled his eyes, standing up, taking my other hand. I walked between the two Super Soldiers, hand in hand until we reached their bedroom. Steve shouldered open the apartment door open and all three of us stopped dead, taking in the sight before us. 

The same blond lady- Loki had called her Sharon? - from before was in here. Her blond hair had been curled and styled, but what really threw me off was her outfit. She was wearing very vintage lingerie, probably something from Steve and Buckys time, in the colour of a nice pale blue. 

I could smell apple pie, which was probably because that's what she was holding in her hands as she turned to face the door as it opened. I felt slightly disturbed, knowing that she had been in the apartment for some time to cook that pie. And also, knowing that she had probably been one of their exes that hadn't worked out. 

That definitely explained her cruel and unnecessary words from earlier. She was jealous that they had moved on with me. 

"Buck." Steve sighed, sounding mostly disappointed. 

Bucky didn't say a word, his hand gripping mine harder. I was startled as he pulled me along, through another door, slamming it behind him as we entered the room, going through the other side door to where the kitchen was. 

Bucky was furious as he pulled out glasses and I quickly took them from his hands since he looked like he was on the verge of shattering them. 

"Bucky?" I asked softly, putting a hand against his arm gently. "Bucky what. . . who. . . what is. . . I don't really understand what's happening." 

"That's Sharon Carter, niece of Peggy Carter." Bucky muttered, opening the refrigerator door so hard I was surprised it didn't come flying off the hinges like in the cartoon. "Steve's ex." 

Ah, which implied that she had never actually had a relationship with Buck. Hence, Bucky's anger. 

"You weren't with her too?" 

Bucky huffed. "Hell no. Never liked the Carter girls, either of them. Peggy didn't approve of our relationship, tried breaking Steve away from me in favor of her. And Sharon is just the personified definition of 'bitch'. Sharon was someone Steve was dating before I was out of HYDRA. He probably would've married her if I hadn't recovered and we found our way together again. Steve tried to see if Sharon would want this sort've relationship, but she basically said 'hell no'. She still wants Steve though, this little show she's putting on isn't her first." 

"Why can't she just be happy for him?" I asked, taking the eggnog from him since that was also in a glass bottle, carefully putting it in the three glasses. 

"Because Carter girls always get what they want." Bucky muttered, more to himself than to me. 

"Peggy. . . she successfully broke Steve away from you?" I asked softly. 

Bucky was silent for a moment. "Not really. Steve talked it over with me. Explained that Peggy  had explained that Captain America was a symbol and that he needed a woman by his side. He said that he didn't want to lose what we had, but that maybe publicly, Peggy was the key. She never broke him away from me in the sense that Steve left me, but she certainly broke him in a way that he's always believed he needs a woman too." 

I sipped my eggnog awkwardly, knowing I was going to regret this next question. "You don't need a woman for this relationship to work?" 

"No of course we don't." Bucky scoffed immediately. "It was just the two of us before and that was always enough. I love him and he loves me and that's all that there needs to be." 

The kitchen was silent for a full five seconds before Bucky muttered. "Shit." 

I bit my bottom lip, before blowing air out of my mouth. 

"Doll-" 

"Bucky, it's fine." I said nonchalantly, glancing over at him. He was looking at me with a hesitant expression. "I'm going to go uh, take a walk. Thanks for being honest with me." 

"Wait-" Bucky said desperately as I hurried from the room. 

Steve was just closing the apartment door behind Sharon, looking extremely annoyed when I entered. 

"Hey Princ-" 

"You need to talk to Bucky." I interrupted him, not in the mood for pet names. "Please? I'm going to go take a walk." 

Steve looked startled as I yanked open the door. I heard Bucky calling for me again, but the door had already closed behind me, with a soft click. And I strode off down the hall without looking back.

[hotcrossbun]

potential trigger warning:

I'm unsure of all the triggers I'll post so read at your own discretion. thank you. (addiction, divorce, DV, homelessness, sewer slide ideation, family separation) ((i think thats all))

diagnosed: bipolar 2, PTSD, gad.

ive been diagnosed bipolar 2 for 11 years. I'm only 26 years old but I feel my life has spun a little out of control this last year- since November of 2022. I impulsively (and probably mid episode) got married 5 years ago (2018) to a person I knew in high school. my daughter was only about 10 months old. it was really great while we were initially seeing each other but got married after only 2 weeks of officially dating. 😬 I was scared of the idea of being a single mom, trying to do it all and be mom and dad. and i did love them, we knew each other well for years and fell out for a while, but I wanted a sense of family and stability for myself and my daughter. I wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself, but very very quickly the relationship turned. a lot of it was my fault- but there's plenty of issues that went around. I wasn't managing my illness well and they had been diagnosed BPD. their family eventually pulled back and enabled behaviors. there was a lot of abuse to each other from both sides. physical and emotional.

my daughter saw a lot she shouldn't have, me with injuries that probably scared her, listening to a lot of yelling and bad things. I feel horrible about it. I feel like I didn't protect her correctly but I still wanted her to have a family. I tried to leave multiple times but felt I had no where to really go- I felt safer in the chaos, at least it made sense, right? my instability and lack of support had transferred to my daughter unintentionally and I can't forgive myself for it.

after my ex spouse was arrested for DV in March this year we continued to talk and communicate when we weren't supposed to. ( no contact order ) maybe a little trauma bond-y but we both got evicted from the apartment and bc of a lack of support in my life we moved into another place together. I felt me and my daughter wouldn't have had a place to go. but the relationship was the same. we both triggered the worst parts of each other and both were pretty heavily drinking nightly at this point:(

they got charged officially in early July and when the court stuff was over they really never came back home. it was right before Father's Day and it really hurt me and luckily my daughter isn't really old enough to quite understand yet. (she's young, also a bit on the spectrum and has some speech development delays)

but I hurt for her because they decided to no longer be a part of either of our lives. (since July they have spoken to her 3 times and moved away from our hometown as well) ((everytime they spoke i had advocated for the communication))

my daughter and I moved a few states away for the summer to try to restart closer to my sister but my drinking was a little out of control. the divorce was finalized after our move and it hurt me a lot. I felt that I would tolerate anything for their love but they couldn't accept consequences to their actions. and I think it triggered a deep mixed episode I wasn't aware I was in. but I almost figured it out, I had an apartment lined up in a new state- 2 jobs, a new drivers license and insurance in a new state, my daughter was enrolled to start school. (all done while severely impaired, I was constantly under the influence of alcohol) ((sober now but probably would still drink given the ability, sadly enough.)) we were going to move out of my sister's as soon as I paid the deposit for our new place and my application got accepted to the complex- but the night before my daughter was supposed to start school I was deeply intoxicated and my sister noticed. she has a very low tolerance for any form of substance abuse and I did know that. I just rationalized what I was doing- I thought bc I was sad and upset- going through a lot- since it wasn't illegal- since I was still getting things done- that it was okay. we got kicked out of my sister's house that night and had to stay in a hotel for about a week.

while we stayed in the hotel I got very very low and contemplated sewer slide, my daughter couldn't get to school bc I didn't have a car and the buses didn't go all the way out to where we were, my sister wouldn't watch my daughter so I could work, and I was running low on funds to continue to pay for the room and a deposit on my apartment. I felt alone and like there was nothing left I could do. I acknowledged my negative consequences to my decisions, and the guilt hit hard, i just felt so lost. my wallet got stolen and had my card maxed out. we couldn't fly back to my home state bc my ID was in my wallet and I thought we were going to be homeless. I made some calls and long story short now we live with my daughters bio father, after a lot of borrowed money and a 18 hour car ride, and a lot of grateful feelings towards him and to the universe.❤️

I've always loved this man, I am now dating him again. he's never done wrong by me, it was always me that left and created any of the minute conflicts we've had. I think it has been a long time coming- me and my daughters dad being back together- he has been my best friend for longer than I can really put my finger on. but sometimes I feel like I've just lost all control of my life and worry we're just together bc I lost everything, because we've always been there for each other. recognizably harsh, he would be hurt if I said that, and doesn't lead me to think that. I just worry. he's not a perfect guy, he has tendencies at times that are hard to cope with but I love him for it it all. he's been through a lot lately too- but he's kind and tries really hard to be here for me even when I don't want him to be. he loves me and sees me, our upbringings are different but similar enough to be compatible. he helps me be better, more open, he keeps my heart and soul soft. hes no stranger to mental illness in himself or his family, but also doesn't struggle in the same way as me. I understand him and I hope he feels as if I've been here for him the same way as well.

last night after a long long trip, I started to feel a little episode starting to creep up after handling some situational and circumstantial things that are from our pasts. we both respected each other's separate lives but now have to make them coincide. collaborate and mix our separate lives into one. and now I feel like I'm in another mixed state. wanting to change my emotional identity and be someone else, impulsive feelings and manic thinking and lots and lots of guilt and feeling like an imposter, like I don't deserve to be here in this life or to be cared about. to be taken care of. to participate.

I know this man doesn't trigger me the same way but I have some deep rooted issues and emotional instability that I've been able to keep at bay for the most part. but there's a big part of me that recognizes that just 6 months ago this is not at all where I pictured myself or my daughter. I wouldn't truly change anything about right now- I'm happier ironically and feel safe. it was an off route to happiness I feel. but I fell behind again in things like med insurance and jobs and my daughter going to school bc of moving from out of state to back into our home state, and I have some solutions to these issues, we are balancing responsibilities that contain large dynamics that are so new- but what if the instability never ends? my life is unstable. it always has been. same with my emotions. am I bringing chaos to others lives?

how am I supposed to trust myself in the new life and 'solutions' and know if it's actually coming from a stable non-episode thinking? I always trust everything initially and then it turns into something else, like others are misleading me and I'm misleading myself, maybe that I'm misleading them, with or without the intention to do so. I internalize and am self aware almost to a detriment and I think it just causes more issues, bc I don't know what really is sane and what's not sometimes. am I delusional? am I missing the bigger picture? I love hard and feel everything so deeply idk what to trust anymore.

luckily my daughter is adjusting well, she's smart and kind and healthy, she's strong and willful. I just know that it's probably so hard on her and she lost the person she knew her whole life as her father. been moved around and the one thing she wanted to do was go to school and I couldn't do that for her. I feel so guilty. she's happy, her bio dad loves her so much but also I know that huge transitions for little ones isn't always easy and losing people no matter who they are hurts. she may not get it super well right now but I worry when she's older and really starts to grasp everything that has happened it will be something she will genuinely struggle with. it feels like its my fault. I wasn't dealt the best hand in life and although I do my best with it, by default it's her life now too.

I guess I wanted to express, maybe get some validation and advice. I'm seeking therapeutic services but waiting lists are forever long and it doesn't seem to be possible at the moment. I'm holding in there, I'm okay, just feels like everything could not be okay in a moments notice. I feel alone in my type of situation and feel so misunderstood by some people who've meant the most to me. I can't blame anyone though for not understanding bc I don't really understand it myself. I'm strong but only so beefed. smart but only so intelligent. I worry this is my life now. constantly just waiting for the ups and downs to make themselves known, and the consequences of my actions to be the things to tell me that I was in an episode and wasn't thinking clearly.

if you got to the end of this thank you for your time. I don't have a lot of people to talk to and I have very little family. I know my boyfriend loves me but I won't bring him down with my worries. I know that these neg feelings are probably fleeting but the consequences of life never are. I just wanted better for my daughters experiences. for her emotional well-being and her stability. I hope I am on the correct life path bc I am growing tired and a little hopeless that I am making the same mistakes. thank you again⛅

[ihatemyselfbutidolovetea]

7/20/2024 prt 1

Now that I have answered all the questions we can move on to the second half of the year-end review. Oh, you thought I was done? Nope. For this diary entry, I decided to indulge a bit in my autism and discuss my fixation on the community my art senpai has accumulated. I was going to save this Wikipedia article for my memoir that would be published after my death, but I couldn't hold these thoughts in my noggin further. So consider this a taste. I will be discussing all the relevant people I've come across in this community and I will be giving my honest opinions. I will be as honest as I can though, I would never omit anything that was said to me in confidence. But if this section gets deleted it means I got in trouble for running my mouth. I will be referring to the relevant people with their usernames.

𝒯ℯ𝒶𝒸𝓊𝓅

Teacup is the art senpai I was referring to. She made a name for herself in the classic Cartoon Network community, specifically The Powerpuff Girls and Samurai Jack. If you were interested in any of this it was difficult to miss her. What made her so known? Well, let's start by explaining my own history with her. I became aware of Teacup's existence probably as far back to when I was fourteen years old, a sheltered little girl's first few years of exploring the internet. Before the internet, my only form of entertainment was a cartoon network. So I used the internet to watch stuff like The Powerpuff Girls and so on. When I discovered Deviantart and how people made fanart of the shows I loved you know I was on that shit. The only sites that existed for me were DeviantArt and YouTube. Before Teacup I was a huge fan of Bleedman, the guy who makes these massive cartoon crossover fan comics. He was my other art senpai aside from this FioLee artist known as MizzChama. I would spend my free time reading Bleedman's comics on SNAFU. I really loved drawing his PPG OC Bell, I thought she was really pretty. Looking at Bleedman stuff on DA would eventually bring me to TeacupBallerina. Her art was recommended to me by the DA algorithm. I think I saw some OCs of her's that I thought were cute so I gave a looksee. To my surprise and slight shock, I was bombarded with AkuBloss, the romantic pairing of Aku from Samurai Jack and Blossom from The Powerpuff Girls. I was confused, I knew DeviantArt was weird but this was so random and specific. At the time, because of Bleedman, I shipped Grim and Mandy for a bit, so I wasn't disgusted by the ship. I just didn't get it. How would this pairing ever work? I wanted to understand more. Looking at the art, this wasn't some Thomas the Train sperg that mindlessly indulged by making receptive art. What I saw was an artist putting a lot of passion into their creation, even if it was seemingly weird and unorthodox. Little Sophie had to respect this person's drive and unapologetic love for something she knew normies wouldn't understand. I'd look through this artist's posts, and see her personality, and I decided I like her. I wouldn't end up following her and considering her an art senpai until later. Drawing anime and horror was my thing. Throughout the years I would get obsessed with one thing and move on to the next obsession while checking in on Teacup every so often. It took me a while to understand. In high school, I showed my friends that infamous AkuBloss comic where Blossom is pregnant and Aku is kinda yandere and shit (my friends would send unhinged shit to each other all the time) and my friends were like "bitch wtf is wrong with you." And I'm here like "Hmm maybe there's something there I wasn't seeing." along with thoughts of "why am I into this now." Sophie degeneracy arch foreshadowing. Anyway, I would end up following Teacup around the time she was further into World of Light. I would leave her a comment talking about how fantastic she replicated the art styles of both shows. She said thanks. At the time I was just really impressed with artists like Zone sama who could replicate art styles. I don't remember when but Teacup would follow me back on DA. I was excited but I kept it to myself and just thought that she was cool like that. So throughout college, I stalked her other social media accounts. I explored her Tumblr and saw some Aku posts, political posts, shit posts, and all kinds of stuff that gave me more of a clue about her. I discovered her streams too. It was around the time she still live-streamed regularly. This is where I got to hear her voice and she would interact with the members of her Discord. I wouldn't join right away because I thought it was an exclusive club. I would get into Your Boyfriend, and start an account on NSFW Twitter. By this time Teacup and I were mutuals on most platforms. I posted something degen and she was all like "that's hot." then I'm all like "omg my art senpai thinks my art is hot." And she was like "omg ur my art senpai."

[burnt-french-nugget]

"Soldier"

MORE LOREEEEE

Tw: Blood, gore, violence

One single man.

It's one single man, and yet he's surrounded by ten members of the task force of police, sitting quietly, cuffs wrapped around his wrists. 

The ten people stood around him, in all gear, from uniform to their weapons, from their masks to their bulletproof vests. Covered head to toe, as the cuffed up man was sitting their in only a bloody white hoodie and jeans, his blonde hair hanging loose and his gaze down to the floor slightly hunched over. He was seemingly deep in thought, contemplating things silently.

There wasn't a word spoken between anyone, all of the members standing there like soldiers as Jeff didn't move an inch from where he sat, the silence eerie. 

Suddenly, one of the younger members walked over to another, shifting his gaze off from the man to whisper in his colleagues ear. He made sure to be quiet, but it seemed that the cuffed man somehow heard it, perking up to look at the young member in the eyes, his green ones locked with the member's. He knew what he heard, it was about his apearense. It always has been. But he couldn't protest, he couldn't speak. He just continued to stare until it became too intense for the young man, and looked away from him. 

'He doesn't know what he got himself into.' Jeff thought, looking at every task force member afterwards. 'They all don't..' He was aware by the fact that this job is serious for them, since they placed themselves in danger every day, like he was thought to when he was young and under his fathers wing.

"The hell you staring at, freak?" 

One of the task force members spoke up, making Jeff's eyes shift to them, now looking at them more coldly than he did with the others. It was another young man, resting his back on the wall for support with his arms crossed as he stared back at Jeff, almost like a glare. Jeff's gaze lowered to the name tag, which said 'Ethan V.'

Jeff didn't respond, of course, since he just couldn't, his scars twitching as he clenched his hands in frustration. The young man didn't seem as professional as the others, especially by the way he had spoken to him. He just sighed and looked back down. 

Ethan's father is part of the station, a valuable and one of the important members there. His family is known for that, everyone in town knew who they were and what they did. It was the reason he joined the task force, to impress his father, maybe become better than him in some kind of way. But the 'fame' got to Ethan, and now he's just some guy with a big ego, acting like he's the boss of the task force group, like he's better than anyone. And his father does not know his treatment towards the other members..

"Hellooo, freak show! I'm talking to you!"

Ethan took a step forward with his fist clenched, soon stopped by one of the other members. A woman, older then Ethan but younger than Jeff, just standing in front of Ethan, a blank look on her face. She shook her head and then spoke. 

"He can't talk. We don't know how we'll communicate with him."  She said, shifting her body slightly as he took a glance at the cuffed man, her gaze softening slightly. "Not yet, at least.." 

The task force members teeth clenched as he heard the woman speak, now glaring at her. He thought for a moment, before he spoke in a more irritated, overreacting tone. 

"Are you taking his side?"

"What? No! I-"

SLAP

The sound was loud enough to make everybody tense up, just staring at what just happened. The woman stood there in shock, now holding her cheek, that was slapped the second before. Jeff let out a low growl, getting up  and stood in from of the young man, still cuffed, just glaring at him. He was fuming with rage, looming over the disrespectful strike force member. How could he have done that to the poor woman? What did she do to deserve such harsh treatment?

No one stopped Jeff from walking up to Ethan, they were either too shocked and frozen to intervene, or just wanted to see what might happen between the two. Jeff just stood there, glaring at him like some angry eagle who was ready to fight it's opponent, attack its prey. One member got the courage to step forward and stand close to them, to make sure nothing worse happens between the two, as well as making sure the woman was alright. 

Ethen was taken aback by his sudden movement, and could only stare back, surprised by his intimidating stare. He went silent now, his body slowly getting shivers as the stare continued between the two. It really shut him up, didn't it? 

Jeff stood there for another few seconds, before he turned away from Ethen, his gaze shifting towards the young woman, who just standing there, in some kind of both shock and sadness. The cuffed man tilted his head and pointed towards her, as if to ask if she was alright. When she realized what he meant by his movements, she nodded. 

"Yeah.." 

She said simply, feeling her body relax as her gaze lowered to the ground, clearly still in a bit of shock from the cruel slap. He took a mental note of it all, then walked back to his previous seat, sitting down and hunching over, looking down at he ground once more. Ethan moved to the corner of the room, not saying a word, embarrassed by the fact that he was frightened by a single glare from the man. 

The other's were slightly amazed by the mans actions, the others weren't sure if the anger shown towards their colleague was real, and if he was just trying to manipulate some of them. But one thing's for certain, it shut the cocky bastard's mouth for a good while, and they were happy about it. 

When the woman calmed down, she walked towards Jeff, sitting down next to him, just to be close, and not let him do something. Yet she was still quite grateful for what he's done for her, even though he hadn't spoken back, or yelled or something, he remained still and just stared, intimidating someone that has hurt her. Yet it was something quite new to her, for a dangerous criminal to do something like that. 

But she couldn't let her guard down. 

He's a murderer after all. 

                   •○●---------------------◇----------------------●○•

It wasn't long for everything to become pure chaos.

It was only 30 minutes after Jeff shut Ethan up, and now everything turned 180 degrees. 

Ethan and a few of the members were having a massive argument, yelling at each other after Ethan started to comment on Jeff's apearense once more and only got him enraged, but the woman from before kept holding him back from it all. But, did she manage to keep him like that long enough? No. No she didn't. 

He pushed the woman away, breaking the cuffs at first try, which made the woman gasp. They all pointed their weapons at him, but he ignored and approached Ethan punching him in the face. Ethan fell on the ground but pointed his gun at him, looking at him with hatred. 

Something hit Jeff at that moment, a memory coming from the back of his mind, something he wanted to forget, and yet he remembered. Something just clicked for him. 

"Father, please!" 

"Oh, stop complaining!"

"Please.. I'm scared.."

"Stop that and be a man, you should get used to having a gun pointed at you! Especially if you're in a war zone!"

"What if I don't want to go to war?!"

"You won't have a choice! Now stop being a damn brat, I'm helping you to be better for the military.."

"I don't wanna!" 

"Quit complaining, you're acting like a child."

"I am a child!" 

The old memory played in his mind, the voice of his father echoing in his mind, the knowledge of his training coming back. He was raised like a soldier, to be one, to fight like his own father, like his grandfather.. to make the ancestors proud. But.. at what kind of cost was that? His childhood.. the life he could've lived, of course. 

He stood still, and then punched him once more  as the others tried to get him off of Ethan, but he continued to punch, and then took Ethan's gun, shooting him in the head, his blood and brains going everywhere.  Then he started to shoot everyone else, but missed a few in the process. They all started to shoot back, and once Jeff got on his feet, he attacked. Only seeing red, filled with rage. 

He punched, he kicked, he shot. 

He broke peoples arms, legs, their bones being crushed by his strength. 

He broke their jaws, he made them all bleed. 

Jeff was fast, he managed to not get shot much, and yet he was still wounded in a few places, but continued to strike them all, even crushing one of their sculls. The woman from before was in a corner, unable to move as the scene unfolded in front of her, she heard their screams, she heard their cries, they were all in pain and in agony as they were being killed. 

She was terrified to watch, but couldn't close her eyes and just kept them open as she saw her colleagues die in front of her. The woman wanted to run, to scream for help but it was too late. The room was soundproof, the door was closed shut and she didn't even have the key to unlock it. 

He stopped after he killed almost everyone in the room, the floor and walls now painted with the red liquid, the room filled with mangled corpses. Jeff was breathing heavily, his breath hitched, his fists clenched, the grip on the gun being tight. The killer then approached the woman, couching down at her level, now staring at her.

The woman started to sob, and yet she felt he body relax, seemingly accepting her fate. 

"Please.. just- just make it quick."

She spoke quietly, not even looking at him in the eyes as tears continued to fall down her cheeks. Jeff's breath was still heavy, his chest rising and falling at a fast rate, sweat dripping down from his forehead.. and just covered in blood. The man continued to stare, before his bloody hand was placed on her head, which made her flinch. Her eyes widened when she realized what he was actually doing. 

He was.. patting her head?? 

He smiled slightly, his demeanor shifted and the emotions he felt the moments before faded as fast as they came. The woman just sat there, speechless of his actions, surprised on how he calmed down after he just murdered an entire team. She didn't speak, put she placed her own hand over his as pulled his hand away from his head, seemingly uncomfortably by the touch. 

Jeff nodded in understanding, placing a finger on his lips, as if to shush her.

The killer then walked to the door and started to hit it with full force, attacking it like some ram, or bull. His body hitting the door with all its weight and might,  loud thuds being made in the process. The door busted open, hitting the wall. He peered around, making sure no one was outside and then went for it. 

He ran out the door, down the hall, traces of blood behind him as he escaped through the back door, running freely outside. The woman was now left alone, sitting in a corner, curled up in a ball, crying once more as she waited for someone to pass by. 

Too afraid to yell for help.

[maewiiweam]

ʀᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ, ᴛɪɴʏ sᴛᴏɴᴇs

"Are you really not lying to me?" She questioned him for the 30th time in 10  minutes. They were supposed to leave, for a party, 15 minutes ago. He walks up behing her putting his arms around her waist as they both looked  inot the mirror on Izzy's door. Mattheo kissed her neck.

"Why would I lie to you? When I say you're beautiful then I mean it." He   conutinued peppering kisses on her neck. "Do you need me to prove it to you, malishka?" He whispered in Izzy's ear watching her bite her lip at the comment.

"No, I'll be fine...besides we're already late..." They turned around in his  arms and grabbed his face plating a loving kiss on his lips. "You look  like a little princess. You're so cute." She hid her face in his chest  making him chuckle.

"What? Don't you like it when I call you my little princess" He looked down at  her with a big smile, moving some loose strands of hair behind their  ears.

"Printessa." Mattheo whispered, his strong russian accent made it sound hotter than Izzy thought possible. They, again, hid their face in his chest.

"You like that?" He asked  laughing at Izzy violently nodding. After a while they decided to leave  for the party. Izzy couldn't get the nickname out of their head, they  really hoped he'd keep it.

"And then she gasped like really loud and everyone was looking at us - or her - but anyway-" Soup continues telling the story that just occured in their journalism course. Soup, Rachel, Freddy, Mary and Izzy are all   sitting outside for lunch at the school's front benches. Three of them, Izzy, Soup and Mary, are sitting on a bench and the remaining two, Freddy and Rachel, came later and have to settle on the concrete floor.

"And then, omg, you won't believe what Elijah said-"

"How about we go to a party today?" Freddy cuts Soup off, picking around in his salad. The group is quiet for a minute.

"It's monday, we have school tomorrow. Some of us early in the morning." Izzy says looking confused around the group.

"I gotta agree with Izzy." Rachel chimes in. "I have some maths exams comin' up and I don't wanna fail those." She reasons taking a big bite out of their sandwhich. Freddy rolls his eyes and continues eating his salad.

"I don't know...Sounds kinda fun to me" Soup says shrugging their shoulders. Mary nods, agreeing with Soup.

"See? They think my idea is great! And if I have to I'll help you study afterwards." Freddy reasons looking at Rachel and Izzy who exchange glaces. Izzy knows Rachel will give in, she always does.

"Come on, Iz. We're young and full of energy. Let's just try." Soup places an assuring hand on their friend's knee. Though they still looked unsure about their decision, Izzy can see the curiosity in their friend's brown eyes. Rachel never was the type of person do go on parties and enjoy the little things in life, not with all the pressure put on him. After they failed their big exams last year, Rachel has been putting herself into study-mode 24/7. It's a surprise to her friends she's not studying irght now.

"You know what? I have to go now meet some friends, you text me if you're going or no-"

"You know what? Fuck it, I'll go too."

"Okay sweet" And just like that, Freddy was gone. On his way he couldn't stop smiling. If only his friends knew that a boy was the reason he wanted  to attend this party so badly, they'd call him insane. Or at least  that's what he thought...That's what mom and dad would say, that's what mom and dad taught me to say. Even though his friends are part of the LGBT community, he's still scared of their reaction to the news, to him. He knows his parents would hate him, disown him, maybe even kill him he fears. But oh, if he knew that his friends were very aware of his state of mind, to them he was the stereotypical gay man.

"I have to go too, I promised my brother I'd bring him lunch." Mary excuses herself before packing away her lunch and walking away with a small wave in our direction, followed by audibly bye's from her friends. So now it was only Soup, Rachel and Izzy.

"You were saying?" Rachel turns to Soup, expecting them to carry on with their story about Elijah. Soup catches onto that.

"Okay so about Elijah-" They begin but get cut off again.

"Hello malishka, her friends" Mattheo appears out of nowhere, as Izzy would describe it, bowing down dramatically when greeting them. Izzy's heart starts beating a tad faster than before, I don't love him anymore why do I keep blushing? He's been a god damn tease all week, that's why. Their thoughts answer.

"Izzy, you okay?" His infamous accent rings through her ears, making her quickly nod her head. She swallows the lump in her throat before speaking up. "Yeah, am good." with a small chuckle she digs back into her sandwich. Stupid. It's a good fucking sandwhich though.

"You seem so sleep deprived? You sure you sleep enough?" He insists leaving Izzy and their friends very confused. What the fuck does he mean? Soup leans over to look at Izzy, curiosity getting the better of them.

"She looks fine to me, could be concealer though." Just like that they're back in their own world with a shrug. Rachel rolls his eyes and givs Soup a light shove, followed by a glare. Just shush now, is what he wants to tell his friend but they seem to get it anyway.

"You know if you ever need a bed to rest in, mine's free anytime. Just know that guests sleep naked." He finishes off with a wink, that was Izzy's last straw. She quickly packs her things and stands up.

"I'm gonna go now, need some...fresher air" They quickly stride away closing their eyes in frustration. Fresher air?? They think as they keep walking, not really looking. When they open their eyes again it's already too late. Suddenly she's kneeling on the concrete with a sharp pain in her knees. I must've fallen down the stairs, which she finds behind her. She slowly stands up and carefully brushes the dust off of her knees, no need for tights my ass, and then quickly looks around after remembering that she practically ran into someone. They quickly recognise the person as Leander Edwards. Might as well die here.

"For fucks sake" They whisper before going over to him and helping him fix his suit. Help him take it off, that'd be more like it. "I'm so sorry sir." She tried her best to dust it off.

"It's alright, love. What about your knees? This pathement isn't the softest" He slightly bends down to get a better look. If he goes on like this he could reach other places as well... Taking her knee in his strong grip

"Let me bring you to the nurse, how's that?" He offers

"Oh no, it's alright, I-I mean I uh I ran into you" Izzy reasons which makes him chuckle. cute, he thinks. "It's alright, darling. I really don't mind and besides, I'm partially at fault as well. Now I need to make sure you won't die from that." His adorable british accent in combination with the sweet and trustworthy words makes Izzy melt, forgetting where she's standing.

"That okay?" He asks, another short break.

"Yeah, okay." They sign in defeat before leading the way to the nurse's office.

Damn you random, tiny stones!

[isleofmuses]

"Well, off the record. My daughter asked for her help when we couldn't find my brother. I offered to pay Liz but she refused saying that she'd help us. Though I don't think Annie gave her much of a choice." By the hint of surprise he showed she figured that wasn't something he was aware of. "In everyone's defense. Wally was missing and I couldn't go to the police."

That made her chuckle and let out an exasperated sigh. "That's so accurate. Only the smart guys will survive the winter." Meli grinned and found herself enjoying Charlie's company. "Three actually. A boy and two girls. Completing their troop of six.

That she understood and while she would hold back on asking the first thing that came to mind she smiled. "Do you think she will always be a rolling stone? Do you think that maybe this is where she'll settle?" She wanted his point of view on this. Given he knew her best and all. "Finally found her place like you did with Anna?" She laughed along. "I kind of find that funny. You know when she's mad that's the cue to back off."

"They'll last. For one thing I've never seen Wally love someone else aside from family as hard as he does Liz. Funnily enough, its the way they interact with each other that makes me confident, she'll part of my family. Whether that is through marriage or just his forever person is up to them and how they want it to work. In a way I do think they have the same goals. I could be wrong here but one thing I know is that he wouldn't put ao much effort if he didn't see her as part of his life for a long time." A small snort came from her at the perception. "He loves kids. Our kids specifically but I'm not sure how much you know of my family history but, our dad kind of fucked him up in that regard. He's terrified of becoming him. Though having kids or not having them isn't a deal breaker for him. He loves your best friend more than I think either of us could know. If she doesn't want kids, I am confident he won't dump her over it. As for the wanderlust, he travels a lot for work so I think they have that in common. But I also know my brother and when he's committed which he is. He will make sure there is a solid compromise if she should want to keep moving around. Communication is key there and its not something I'm worried about with them. End of day as long as they make each other happy I think whatever comes their way they are equipped to handle together."

“You have?” There was a small hint of surprise in his tone. He didn’t recall their names appearing in any of the records that he had audited for the office. Yet again something she had kept from him. It seemed like his friend had been keeping a lot from him since leaving.

“That’s a shame,” a chuckle and a small smirk. “Women are always complimented on their appearances but never their personalities. When I met a headstrong one I kkke to let them know that it is an enduring quality not a faulty one. Those who find it fault is only because they have no personal of their own to compliment it. Or a personality at all. Not at all, I actually enjoy it. It keeps me grounded.” Had it not been for the women in his life, he might have been somewhere else right now, most likely a drink away from a grave.

Taking the card he bowed his head in thanks as he memorized the details before placing in into his pocket. “My congratulations to them. Boy or girl?”

Bloody hell, he made a mess is this. “No, no, not at all. I didn’t mean anything by it. Elizabeth has always been a rolling stone since I met her. Never one to stay in one place long. I just thought she’d want to see new sights again and open up a new office.” Technically she had run, as much as she liked to deny it, he knew the truth. She ran from them because she didn’t want to feel abandoned, the odd one out. Because no matter how much Anna and he included her in their lives or showered her with love, she’d always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. For them to say that they no longer wanted her around. It was a ridiculous notion, but he knew Better than to tell her that. “Oh, you haven’t seen her when she’s angry then.” A chuckle. “No seems to be the only word she knows when she’s angry at me.”

But since they were being honest he has to ask. “And why did you ask? Do you think they’re not going to last?” He also has to admit that while they were best friends, she didn’t share everything with him. “Do you think that they both have the same goals?” He didn’t know if she had told him about how they met yet. How that changed her. What she wouldn’t be able to do so he chose his words carefully. “You all seem to be a very family orientated and loving, and your brother seems the type to want to be a dad some day. What if Elizabeth didn’t want children, what if she wanted to keep traveling or help open more offices? Or simply just move back to New York or California?”

[levis-little-nuggie]

How the brothers would react to catching f!MC riding a suction-cupped dildo on the communal HOL washing machine

I didn't think through how much I hate this idea, but I fuckin ran with it so here we are and I'm not apologizing. However the title is still a work in progress. I am accepting ideas.

This first one is Lucifer's reaction.

Warnings: little bit of blood (in a sexy way), he calls MC some vulgar names >:( but he apologizes so I guess it's okay, fem!MC because I was feeling self-indulgent.

Rating: explicit 😌

Word count (so far): 2,628

Carrying the weight of the hamper on her hip, MC closed the laundry room for behind her and padded over to the oversized washing machine. It was laundry day for her and living in a mansion with seven demon brothers didn't make this any easier. Their keen sense of smell had her on edge about keeping certain articles of clothing cleaner, washing them more frequently than when she lived in the human world.

She threw in her load of pajamas, towels, and underwear, including the pair she had been currently wearing, leaving her in an oversized shirt she'd "borrowed" from Beel. MC mixed in the detergent and fabric softener, and started the cycle. As the hot water started pouring into the bin, MC double-checked that the door was closed before pulling out the suction-cup dildo she'd hidden in the laundry bin and stuck it to the top of the washer. MC nudged the step stool closer to the machine, applied a generous amount of lube to the toy, clambered on top of the washer, and positioned herself over the dildo.

Thanks to previous instances in the laundry room, MC was fully aware of both the machine's durability to hold her weight comfortably, and its vigorous shaking when loads were unbalanced. Asmo had winked at her when she came running to him for help for taming the large appliance. "You could say, with a bit of creativity, it'd be the next best thing to sitting on my face, hon."

He'd been right. Unfortunately, this also meant that Asmo knew what laundry day meant to MC and she already felt mortified sharing this dirty secret with Asmo so MC tried her best to schedule her trip to the laundry room for whenever he wasn't home. Luckily enough, it seemed the rest of the brothers were completely unaware of her sinful indulgence and this activity quickly became addicting.

Having already been wet from the excitement, MC's fingers slid into her, pumping and scissoring to stretch herself open. She pressed the tip of the toy against her opening, biting her lip to stifle the noises she wanted to make as her fingers moved to circle over her clit, squeezing her eyes shut as her hips lowered onto the toy. Taking a few moments to breathe from the size of the dildo filling her up, MC maneuvered her legs to shift from her kneeling position sitting on the machine, toy fully sheathed inside, her ass against the lid, and legs hanging over the top.

Her hands trembled from both the excitement and the warmth that stirred in her lower abdomen as she reached for her phone; the machine would be still for awhile as the clothes soaked, but MC loved to fantasize she was cock-warming any one of the brothers until they both gave in and he fucked her mercilessly.

Lazily circling her hips to feel the toy move around inside her, MC mindlessly nibbled on her thumb while flicking thru Devilgram. Scrolling down the feed, she stopped to watch a video Mammon had posted, the audio flowing through the DDD's speakers a teaser for an upcoming song he was releasing. Turning up the volume on her device, MC let the video repeat as she felt herself getting hyped for the track to release. After double-tapping to like the post and leaving an energetic comment, MC opened the music app on her DDD and shuffled the playlist she made of the brothers' songs to stream while she opened a game on her phone to complete the daily task while waiting for the washer cycle to start.

The above set-up will be the same for all the brothers. Below this point will be Lucifer's reaction.

Another prank from the Lucifer You S*ck team left the eldest with some ruffled feathers and an ever-growing coffee stain on his RAD uniform. A vein pulsed on his forehead as he sauntered to the laundry room.

What he wasn't expecting, however, was to hear MC singing along to Satan's song behind the laundry room door. The eldest brother hesitated, his grip tightening on the doorknob as he debated waiting for her laundry to finish but found his brows furrowing as she stopped singing, the machine started its spin cycle, and the faintest of moans floated through the door.

"What in Diavolo's name-" Lucifer opened the door to investigate but halted as he took in the scene before him. MC's eyes had widened, staring directly at Lucifer in a way that perfectly explained the human idiom "like a deer stuck in the headlights." Her mouth was agape but quickly snapped shut as she tried to stifle her panting, legs crossing themselves in an attempt to look innocent, but her white-knuckle grip on the edge of the washer had him feeling alarmed.

"MC, what's going on? Are you feeling unwell?" The machine had started rocking as it began its spin cycle, but Lucifer couldn't figure out why MC was sitting on top of the washer. Was she feeling ill? Her forehead had a sheen of sweat, did she have a fever? Lucifer dropped his clean uniform and crossed the room so he was directly infront of MC, reaching out to feel her heated face, completely disregarding her feeble attempts to assure him she was fine.

'Lucifer! I'm fine, just doing some laundry' was what she wanted to say. However, with the machine rocking, the dildo was rubbing right up against her g-spot and she was fighting the urge to grind her hips. She managed to sound out the first half of his name, but the way his gorgeous, ruby eyes looked into hers with concern, his facial features that were carved by God himself, and a single thrust against that spot had her shivering, finishing the rest of his name in a sultry moan.

The Avatar of Pride blinked as the cogs in his brain stuttered trying to piece together what was happening, his hand froze in mid-air as he had been reaching out to feel the temperature of her skin. The machine continued to rock and MC couldn't find the strength to pretend she wasn't riding a dildo on the communal washing machine and felt her control starting to slip. MC couldn't read the expression on his face and averted her gaze, trying to deny that him watching her like this was turning her on even more.

Seeing his hand stretched out, MC leaned forward the small distance to press her cheek against his palm, biting her lip as she stole a glance at the demon. His eyes remained transfixed, dazed, but he didn't pull his hand away and MC was feeling a little more daring than usual. Tilting her head, she pressed his thumb against her lip, her eyes flickering again to his own for barely half a second, and closed her lips around the tip of his thumb, running her tongue along the seam of the leather. His lack of response coaxed MC on to keep going. Her tongue drew the digit in further, lips gliding over the leather, the material fueling new fantasies she'd previously overlooked.

As the dildo continued its steady rocking, MC felt her control melting away and frustration slowly started to build. Why hadn't he moved? Surely it'd be better if the eldest had scoffed in disgust and turned away than to have him just staring at her like this. She swirled her tongue around his thumb, lips hollowing as she sucked, trying to illicit some sort of response from the demon.

However, he remanded unmoving. MC felt an array of emotions ranging from frustration, shame, embarrassment, anger, all mixed with the sexual desire raging thru her, MC felt tears prick her eyes. She released the thumb from between her lips with an audible pop and faced Lucifer with a snarl; which he found endearing and as threatening as the chihuahua.

"I don't do live performances. Either touch me or leave." MC made a show or grabbing her breast from under her shirt, letting the pleasure from the toy fill her senses and began grounding her hips against the toy as the spin cycle picked up speed. Getting ready to bark at him again, MC yelped as the shirt was torn open and a pair of hands gripped her hips keeping her still but the dildo continued moving with the machine.

"I didn't realize our little human was such a naughty slut. Really. Sticking a toy on our washing machine? Are you that desperate to be fucked?" Nails bit into her flesh as his voice called out her sins, all traces of her bravado gone, replaced with an overwhelming sense of embarrassment and shame. MC tried hiding her face but he still saw the tears that threatened to spill over before crawl down her face and cooed.

"There's nothing to feel ashamed over, my dove. I apologize if I was too vulgar." Lucifer lifted her hips and she squirmed, not ready for him to see the full extent of the situation; the idea of the dildo coated in her juices waving about on top of the poor washing machine only intensified her embarrassment. However, before she could speak out, Lucifer dropped her hips causing her to slam herself back down on the toy. Stars erupted across her vision as the demon repeated the action, drinking in her reactions and felt his erection strain against his pants.

"This carnal desire is human nature. If anything, it's our own fault for not considering such a basic need." His fingers trailed along her neck, tapping against her pulse as if in thought. The hum of the washer broke through the moment and Lucifer clicked his tongue behind his teeth. He reached behind her to turn off the machine and lifted MC off the machine, and the dildo.

MC didn't get a chance to wince from the manhandling as her lips were immediately covered with his own and she felt him pulling her close to him, his hands urging her to wrap her legs around him. She couldn't match the fire he was pouring into her fast enough and he growled, simultaneously smacking her ass and grinding his erection against her folds. This new side of the prideful demon caught her off guard, but the smack brought her back with a fervor.

Her hands fumbled with the buttons on his collar and he kneaded where he spanked her, causing MC to mewl into the kiss. One of his hands moved up to hold the back of her neck as he walked to pin her against a wall. Her legs squeezed his hips tighter and he reached up to break open the collar of his shirt, shedding the clothing haphazardly somewhere else in the room. Meanwhile, MC moved to undo his pants, reaching into his trousers to palm his erection. Lucifer hissed and grabbed her wrists, pinning them to her stomach with one hand.

Releasing her lips, Lucifer latched onto her throat, biting down on the skin above her pulse and positioned himself at her entrance, hesitating for only a moment to allow her the chance to back out. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she braced herself, kissing the side of his head, and granting him permission with a soft, "please." Her voice turned into a wanton cry as he pushed himself into her. His tongue lapped at her throat, sucking against her skin as a feeble distraction to keep himself from fucking her before she was ready but the way her body was receiving him was making the demon tremble.

"Lu, please, I need you to fuck me," all shyness and mortification was gone and all that remained was the sexual desire and a sense of urgency.

"Do you know what you're asking of me, my dear? Do not underestimate me."

"Lucifer, fuck me or else I will invoke our pact and make you-" the rest of MC's threat was lost, replaced by a sob as Lucifer's restraint snapped and began thrusting wildly into MC. It didn't take long for him to readjust his position, turning them away from the wall. With his hands on her hips, the eldest brother moved her against his thrusts, bouncing her on his cock and slamming back into her. His rhythm would change randomly between fast and shallow to deep thrusts where he'd pull out to the tip and snap his hips to fully sheath himself. He'd felt her muscles constrict around him a few times, keeping a tally of how many orgasms he pulled from her, but he wanted her to make a mess and to make a mess of her.

Bending MC backwards, he continued drilling into her as he held her hips in-front of him. Her voice cried out in a scream as he relentlessly thrusted against that spot and she felt a wave building.

"Lu s-st, wait, I'm, you're gonna make, h-hold on-"

"I know MC, it's okay. Let go."

With Lucifer's words of encouragement, MC felt herself relax, giving in to the impending wave that continued to build. Reaching out, her hands found a shelf to stabilize herself, her mouth open in a silent scream as the dam broke and ecstasy filled her senses. The way she clamped down on his cock had Lucifer's hips stuttering through his own orgasm, filling her with his seed quicker than he had intended; the intensity of her orgasm having coaxed his to follow suit.

As the fog cleared in his mind, Lucifer's fingers twitched and he noticed the array of bruises littering her hips. MC lifted her head to look up at him, but the rest of her body was limp. She smiled sheepishly causing Lucifer to roll his eyes but his lips turned to shape a playful smile and MC giggled as he pulled her up. They winced as he pulled out of her, but she kissed his cheek and he brushed his nose against hers, humming as they basked in their afterglow together.

Lucifer grabbed a blanket to wrap around them and turned to leave the laundry room when he caught sight of the glittery purple dildo still mounted to the lid of the washing machine. He snorted and walked over to it. Having curled into the demon, MC had to turn to see why he'd stopped walking and groaned.

"Don't you dare."

"Hmm?

"You're going to say something really condescending and I don't want to hear it." MC snuggled closer into Lucifer's chest, pulling the blanket over her head in protest.

"I don't know about 'condescending,' but-"

"Lucifer, don't you fuckin do it."

"This had to been Asmo's idea."

"..."

"It just reeks of desperation and wanting to get caught."

"Lucifer!"

"Now if you had been a good human, and come to me with your situation sooner, all of this could have been avoided. But now, there's a big mess to clean up." Having lived with the demon brothers long enough and sitting thru many a famous Lucifer lecture, MC could hear the smirk in his voice. In retaliation, MC pinched the Avatar of Pride's nipple earning her a grunt and a thump on the back of her head. She hissed like a cat from behind the blanket and Lucifer sighed from the absurdity of the whole thing.

"Do you want to go get cleaned up?"

"....yes."

"Do you need me to keep carrying you?"

"...yes."

"Then be a good girl and hold this." MC pulled the blanket away from her head, curiosity having piqued her interest, but groaned when Lucifer handed her the aforementioned dildo. "I don't want the others seeing this in case the room isn't cleaned up by the time they come back from their classes."

Damn him for making perfect, logical sense.

"Besides, I might want to use it on you later."

"...I hate you."

"I know."

[nevermore-the-kitsune]

Pokemon Teams for Fictional Characters pt. 2

Damian Wayne

(Also, I'm not including move sets because in my headcannon Pokemon do remember all their old moves. But humans choose to only use four)

For this AU I'm having the Wayne's own the Gotham City Gym, which specializes in Dark types. Most of the cannon events still happened. Just with a few tweaks here and there. (Dick's 20, Jason's 16, Cass is 15 Tim's 15 but younger than Cass and Damian's 13 because I love AUs where there closer in age).

Anyway here we go!

First things first in the Pokemon Universe his alias wouldn't be Robin since they don't exist. Instead I think it would be Rookidee, since thats the closest Pokemon to a Robin.

His Partner Pokemon and ace would be a Gligar

Name: Goliath

Gender: Male

Why: Gligar screams Goliath (his Batdragon) plus the coloring of his evolutions matches with Dami's Robin and Batman outfits

Story: He found Goliath while climbing a mountain for his training. At the time he was four and Goliath was a hatching. Damian ended up giving him some food, seeing that the hatching was hungry.

Grateful, the Gligar followed him hoping to return the favor.

When Damian's hand got broken on that same trip, Goliath was the one to help him finish his mission and get home safely.

Talia was impressed that Damian could tame a wild Pokemon without catching it, so she allowed him to keep him as his first Pokemon.

-----

Next he would have a Meowth

Name: Alfred

Gender: Female

Why: This one has to do with its evolution. Persian are said to only be loyal to trainers it likes and that it takes a lot to get them to like you. Their also said to be prissy and uptight. This reminded me of Damian. How it took forever for him to trust his brothers and his own snobby attitude. Thus I think it fits.

Story: After coming to live with his father Damian didn't know how to act. He saw his "brothers" and father treating their Pokemon so different than how the League did. They all trained hard. But, there was something eles: warm praise for a job well done, asking for insight on a case (they had taught their bipedal pokemon sighn language) and comfort on a bad day. His father and brothers treated their Pokemon like... people

In the League Pokemon where the lowest soldier, lower than the slaves or concubines. They trained, ate then they had to and got in their ball.

He had been a little more lenient in his training with Goliath. When asked he said that he was still a baby and he had to take things slow in this stage or he might develop too much muscle mass and be unable to fly.

He had kept him out of his ball with the excuse of developing muscle mass at a proper pace.

He liked Goliath's company. The Gligar was a good companion. But on the same level as another person?

He had expressed these thoughts to Pennyworth, the only person in the house to give him a straight answer when he needed it.

Pennyworth had explained to him that some people love to hold power over others and that Pokemon where an easy target, since they couldn't communicate their emotions as clearly as people could.

"Think of Mistress Cain. She sometimes cannot communicate with words, but we know that she's intelligent. But some people see her as less than intelligent and treat her as such because of the power it gives them."

Two weeks later Damian would come across a group of teenagers attempting to shave a Meowth. The Pokemon was little more than skin and bone and crying out on pain. So, Damian broke their fingers and shaved part of their heads for good measure.

He kept the Meowth and named her after the man who taught him about the abuse of power.

---

Next, a Poochyena

Name: Titus

Gender: Male

Why: These Pokemon and their evolution are ruthless with their pray, and only obey trainers with external skill.

Story: Raven gave Damian Titus as a gift. She said that she rescued him from an underground fighting ring (where the battles are to the death). He was still to young to battle so he didn't need much rehabilitation. The other Pokemon there though...

---

Now we have a Type Null

Name: Heretic

Gender: ???

Why: This Pokemon was created in lab, and artificial designed for the purpose of fighting, just like Damian. True I could have given him Mewtwo, but that cat seems to fit Kon more.

Story: Damian's mother had spent years creating Type: Null with the purpose of being able to kill any target. As a last test she wanted to see which of her creations was suppirrior. So she sent the Type Null out to (try and) kill her son.

Damian, with the rest of his team, beat the Pokemon but couldn't kill it. He had long since vowed to wash the blood from his hands. Instead he offered his hand to it and asked it to join him.

---

Here we have the hardest to explain... Mimikyu

Name: Habibi (I hope I spelled that right)

Gender: Female

Why: Damian is complex, he wants to be accepted and loved just like Mimikyu but dosent know how. Both try to mimic others in order to get that love, Damian his father and Mimikyu Pikachu. So I see this as Damian's spirit Pokemon in a way.

Story: He didn't know why it was so hard to fit in. Gods know he tried. But... little things confused him. Like how eveyone could understand each other without words or singhing. He had no problems with that on a battlefield, but in day to day life; it felt like he was on a separate server.

Like how Todd knew at breakfast with just a look that Drake was in a bad mood and how to help. Or how Grayson could audomadicly tell what kind of day at school the rest of them had withen a few minutes. Hell even Drake could tell what grunts ment what from father! Which ment good job, Which ment I'm glade your okay, or frustration either at them or at a case (Cass didn't surprise him, she had to learn how to communicate without words and watch body language and micro expressions).

School was no better; sometimes it was to load or bright othertimes, when everyone was doing a test, it felt to quiet. But, to much or to little, Damian was always aware of every movement, every sound. It was like the very instincts that saved his life every night where turned against him.

He turned to his nearly forgotten childhood habits to distract himself from everything around him. That only led to more whisper shouting and what even he could tell where displeased glares with a grunt of "fucking tapping" or a snap of "stop!" He knew it was disrupting but it was all be could do to drown out the noise or silence.

On one particularly bad day at school; apparently during one of their tests one of his classmates had had enough of Damian's tapping and decided to make a scene.

There was some yelling from the kid. A few cries in agreement. Before the teacher had gotten hem to settle down. He had demanded that Damian look him in the eye and when he finally did told him to stop with the tapping or else he would be sent to the office, Gym Leaders son or not.

He was the last to finish that test where he normally finished first. The silence had been to load!!

After that clusterfuck Damian finally headed home. He had texted Grayson saying that he was meeting a friend somewhere to work on a project and to not pick him up. In truth he didn't want his brother reading what kind of day he had had. He needed some time to himself.

That was how he found himself in a nearby park. It was filled with plenty of sounds that didn't suffocate him and the fall leaves where soothing to his eyes. Damian had Titus out of his ball as company, knowing that the pup loved park walks.

They had been walking for an hour when they came across a box set off just on the edge of the trail. "Free to Good Homes" was written on the side in black sharpie.

No sound was coming from inside, so he assumed that the had all been taken. Until Titus went closer sniffing at the seemingly empty box.

"Pooch Pooch"

"Hmmm... what is is it boy?" He asked as he walked closer to his Pokemon and the Box. Damian hoped he was wrong. It was cruel to leave a baby Pokemon all alone, especially since the weather was getting colder by the day.

Inside the box was in fact a lone Pokemon. At first glance it looked like a Pikachu. But something was off. It looked more like a doll than a living creature. If it wasn't for the small chirps it let out and slight way that it was shivering from the cold Damian would have written it off as a toy. No wonder it got left behind...

Damian reached down and picked up the mystery Pokemon as gently as he could.

"Come on beloved, lets go home."

He tucked the Pokemon in his jacket to warm it up before reaching for his phone to call Grayson for a ride home.

That night Damian locked himself away, even skipped patrol, and spent a sleepless night learning everything he could about his newest Pokemon.

---

That was inspired by this comic

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Finaly, for his last spot Eevee!!

Name: Omni

Gender: Female

Why: I'm going to have all the Batfam members have an Eeveelution. This branch and the Batfam are both growing consistently. We all have our favorites but we love them all the same. So I think it fits.

Story: Everyone in the family had an Eevee or one of its evolutions. Damian's Father said that Eevee was the Wayne family symbol, it was potential, the ability to become whatever you wanted.

Though it surprised Damian that the Wayne symbol wasn't a Noibat or Noivern (Batman's ace) at first he eventually understood the logic in choosing such a Pokemon to represent the family name. That only made things harder for him being the only one not having one. Did they not truly see him as family?

On the one year anniversary of Damian arriving at The Mannor, his family through a small party. Pennyworth made his favorite foods, The Mannor was decorated in tacky streamers (Graysons' idea) and they watched some of Damian's favorite fims, their Pokemon curled up with them. His father had offered to take the day off from the gym. Until Todd suggested that Damian take on the challengers.

The Gotham gym was part of his heritage. Damian had been training for the day that he could finally help weed out the weak challengers just like his siblings sometimes did (think the battles you do before challenging a gym leader in the games).

On that day, if the challengers agreed to it, their final battle wasn't with Bruce Wayne the Dark Knight but instead his son. Most accepted thinking that it would be an easy win, that they had lucked out in not having to battle one of the stongest Gym Leaders in the League and could still get the Shadow Badge.

Those poor fools.

Damian was only allowed to use Alfred, Titus and Habibi since he used Goliath and Heretic primarily as Rookidee.

Damian fought seven trainers that day in 3v3 fights. Only two of them got the badge.

With the day overwith and the night rising, so did Gothams' protecters.

The night ended with exhausted body's and adrenaline crashes. Damian was ready to slip into a mini coma from the day he had but before he could head upstairs to The Mannor...

"Not so fast baby bat." Graysons' voice called out to him. "We got one more surprise for you."

Damian raised his eyebrow at that. What else could they do? His father came back from the locker rooms where he had been desuiting, it always took him the longest because of his "old man bones" as Todd said.

"Son," his father said "its Wayne tradition to get your first Pokemon when you turn ten years old. I missed that with you." He paused, eyes briefly shifting to the floor before they snapped back on Damian's face. "Luckily there's one tradition we didn't miss. When you've lived at The Mannor for a year or the adoption papers get finalized, I give my children this..."

He pulled a Poke'ball out of his poket and handed to Damian. "Go on son, let them out."

He did

Staring at him was his own Eevee.

---

AN: All of Damian's Pokemon (sans maybe Omni, I'm thinking of leaving her as an Eevee) will eventually evolve. Eventually.