#she called me a ‘scheming smart ass’ and hung up

[ennabear]

don’t ever become a receptionist… okay?? promise me you won’t

[writer-panda]

The Hit on the Groom and What Became of It - Chapter 4/I’ll never let you down (in an open casket)

Chapter 1  -|-  Previous -|- Next

The Hit on the Groom and What Became of It - Chapter 4/I’ll never let you down (in an open casket)

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As she hanged up, Marinette rushed to the doors and let her mother in. The previous night she spent mostly on working with Kwamis to prepare. Most were in agreement that she needed to act and not leave her kitty’s fate to chance. Tikki protested for a bit, but in the end, she saw that there was no changing Marinette’s mind and joined in on scheming. Except she had no way of tracking Adrien. Not… until she received the call!

Except now her mother entered. Sabine greeted her daughter by giving her a bone-crushing hug. 

“I was so worried! When the police called I couldn’t just sit there and wait!”

“Maman. It’s alright. I’m okay. See?” The girl did break away from the hug and smiled.

“I know. But I couldn’t help but worry.”

“Maman… Adrien’s been kidnapped.”

“I know.” Her mother’s expression didn’t reveal any emotions now.

“I… he’s been miserable ever since that wedding mess, and now this.”

“I know.” Again, nothing. 

“He’s my friend.”

“Not the love of your life?” Sabine questioned with a bit of amusement in her voice.

“No. He doesn’t need another fangirl. He needs a friend. Someone who can support him. I… I wasn’t a good friend before this…” She didn’t reveal that she wasn’t a great partner either. Chat hid things well, but from time to time his shell cracked. She should’ve seen the signs. She could’ve done something. Or at least do something with Lila. She had connections and Lila deserved a lawsuit or five. 

“Oh, sweety. You were a great friend. You are a great friend. I’m happy to see you’re not about to chase after some misguided love, but after friendship.”

“I know I’m only… wait, what?” Marinette.exe stopped working. If the problem keeps repeating itself, please contact customer service or the nearest Kwami. 

“When I was fifteen, I dropped out of… school to explore the world on my own. It wasn’t until a few years later that I met your father.” Sabine said in a bit dreamy voice like she was reminiscing. “We had several adventures across Europe before finally settling down in Paris.”

“But… Papa’s a baker.” Marinette protested. “I thought he was always a baker, like his father.”

In response, her mother chuckled. “No. Your father had much more in common with your Nona than with his father. I met him when he was fighting in an underground cage-fighting club.”

“Whoa…” Marinette’s eyes widened. That was a story she never heard before. “So how did you two got together?”

“I will tell you some other time. The point is, I know that even if I took you to Paris with me, you would’ve run away to look for your friend.”

“Maman!” For a moment, the girl wanted to protest. But then she decided that there was no point. “Yes… you’re right. But I can’t just let it happen! If the police find him, he will end up back with his father!”

“I know. And what’ll you do about it?” Her mother had this mysterious smirk on her face.

“I guess… I need to be the one to find him. I will get him situated somewhere safe. Maybe stay with him for a bit. He’s smart. And a quick learner.” He mastered being a superhero faster than I did.

“Good. Then you have my blessing.” 

“I can’t just abandon-” Marinette.exe stopped working again. Contacting the customer service might be in order. Technically, Sabine kept hinting about it. Practically, Marinette would miss a clue even if she was holding a gun to its head. “I have your what now?”

“You can go. Save him. Find yourself. And maybe kick some asses while you’re at it.”

“Most parents would be worried sick about their not-yet-adult children running off to an adventure.”

“You wanted to know how I met your father. The answer is I was the first to beat him in that cage.” Sabine’s smirk was replaced with a serious expression. “Of course I will worry, sweety. I’m your mother. But holding you back now will not help you. You’re a strong young woman and to be fair, I’m not sure how we could hold you down. You have steady access to the rooftop and two years of parkour training.”

“What now?”

“Did you honestly think we wouldn’t notice you sneaking off through the balcony?”

“And you didn’t even tell me?” 

“It would be hypocritical of us.” Sabine defended. “And if the worse came to happen, I had several… souvenirs from our travel around the world.”

“Thank you, Maman. I promise I will come back; And call you often. Well, maybe not too often.” Marinette already dashed to start packing. 

“Of course you will. And don’t get into too much trouble. I would hate to have to go and find you.” Sabine threatened with a bright smile on her face. 

“I’ll try, Maman.” The girl was only half-listening now. She couldn’t waste any more time. She learned how to trace the call about one-and-a-half years ago when she was still a bit ‘stalker-ish’. 

Sabine watched her daughter with amusement. So many memories returned to her now. Youth mostly well-spent if someone asked her. The ‘mostly’ part came to bite her just that moment as her phone pinged. She quickly checked the message and frowned. 

“I’m sorry, my little cupcake, but I need to go check it. An old friend turns out to be in town.” 

“I’ll call you later!” Marinette called from where she was furiously working on her laptop. 

When Sabine left, the kwamis swarmed her immediately.

“Your mom is so cool!” one of them cooed.

“And she’s one bad-”

“Roaar!” Tikki scolded the tiger kwami. 

“What’s the plan, pigtails?”

“Adrien’s call was made from within Gotham City. He’s still here for now. I also managed to track him to Burnley.”

“Didn’t that mercenary you called mention some Lawton?” Trixx offered.

“Yeah. I did try to search him up, but the only one with that name that I managed to find is Zoe Lawton. Wait. There is more!” She beamed up. “An old article in some Mexican newspaper.” She clicked on the link and read it aloud for her co-conspirators “Floyd Lawton, also known as Deadshot, was recently arrested after an assassination of a small group of smugglers. It is yet unknown if it was a hit or was it personal.” The article went on, but there was nothing more of interest.

“So the guy’s a mercenary too? That’s good. He’ll bring Adrien to you.”

“Not so fast. I remember hearing about him. Deadshot is one of the few mercenaries who try to keep some resemblance of a code. He’s also noted to be soft around children.”

“Isn’t Adrien almost an adult though?” Kaalki asked rather uncaring.

“Have you met the guy? He’s a literal ray of sunshine!” Plagg protested.

“So… he won’t deliver him and won’t return him.” Seeing that some Kwamis didn’t understand her logic, she clarified, “I don’t think that if he learns how Gabe treated his son he will be in any hurry to return him.”

“That makes sense.” The little being all nodded in agreement.

“So what’s the alternative?”

“He could adopt him,” Ziggy suggested.

“Please.” Marinette dismissed the idea. “He’s not Bruce Wayne.”

“He could smuggle him out of the country.”

“No. Everyone’s looking for him.” Roaar countered. “He would try to lay low somewhere.”

“Burley is large and full of potential safe houses.” Marinette started to think. “But there is also a large concentration of organized crime. Alone, we would have a hard time, but if we got them to help…”

“Is it wise to involve more criminals into your schemes Marinette?” Tikki asked skeptically.

“Don’t worry, sugarcube. To catch a bird you need wings. To catch a criminal you need crime.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works.”

“What’s the worse that could happen? I will go there as Seamstress. I won’t even appear in person. Right, Trixx?”

“You can count on it.” The fox kwami grinned.

“But… but…” Tikki wanted to scream her head off. Why did the previous guardian choose a juvenile criminal for her holder. Marinette used to be such a sweet girl. Where did Tikki go wrong?

---------

It was dark when an eerie mist filled one of the less-than-legal clubs in Burnley. From among the smoke, a figure entered. She was wearing a godet-type black dress with a side-cut that reached to her belt. The dress was overlayed with a very visible deep-blue corset that pronounced her blue eyes. It had some intricate laces on it. She also wore a puffy-sleeved blazer (also black, but with a dark blue finish) with large and very pronounced cuffs. Around her neck was a white double jabot fixed to a choker with a large black gem surrounded by diamonds. Her long deep-blue hair was let loose and hung over her shoulder. A simple black-and-white domino mask hid her features.

As she marched, one of her legs shifted the fabric to reveal she was wearing dark-blue socks reaching above her knee and black leather boots. A knife was strapped to the right one and several leather strips around her thigh and knee suggested she had more weapons on her. 

One of the men whistled.

“Looks like the entertainment arrived, boys!” Several cheered at that shout. At least until the man who dared to say it ended pinned to a wall with a rather large needle holding his jacket in place. It was also uncomfortably close to his jugular. 

“I’m not entertainment.” The Seamstress hissed. 

“Then you’re not invited.” Several men got up, many were holding now-empty bottled which they turned into impromptu weapons. 

“You will help me find what was taken from me.” She demanded.

“Yeah? Or?” One of the men laughed before charging at her. 

What followed next was perhaps the strangest carnage Gotham City has seen in years. The Seamstress danced between the attacks with almost unnatural grace and agility while stabbing the attackers in various places with large needles. None of the hits were life-threatening and most would heal within hours. The wounds were meant to incapacitate with minimal long-term damage.

By the time she reached the far end of the bar, almost every man was laid out on the ground groaning in pain or scrambling in fear.

“I am not asking. You will be rewarded for your obedience.” She then disappeared into the back alley. One brave/foolish enough who still had some fight left rushed after her, only to find the place completely empty. 

On the rooftop, Marinette let out her breath. She didn’t use any miraculous for that one, but she kept Plagg’s ring on. Chat Noir wasn’t seen in some time, so it would’ve been easier to explain that the ring was stolen by a criminal. She would really need to thank her mother for all the training she forced on her ever since the Akumas started to appear, as well as the lessons during her childhood. Those were all only the most basic grunts tonight, but she got their attention. One of them would run to their boss. There, she could actually do what she planned. 

--------

Just like she predicted, some of the less injured guys left the bar in hurry and drove their bikes to another part of the district. They disappeared into a three-story building. The windows were boarded, but some light seeped through on the top floor, so that is where she climbed. Indeed, by hanging on the edge of the window sill, she was able to hear the panicked screams inside.

“...and then she just disappeared! It was like that damn Bat, only much more terrifying. She was so small, and yet there was this… this… aura of power.”

Thank you Chloe for being queen B. Marinette stifled a laugh. Mimicking Chloe was the right choice. 

“Probably another one of his useless brats.” The boss dismissed them. Marinette decided that it would make the best impression if she contradicted him right now.

She wondered for a moment how to enter the armored building. She could rip the boards away and enter that way, but she was aiming for ethereal, not brute. In the end, she pulled a pair of glasses and put them over her mask. 

“Kaalki. Would you please help me break into headquarters of a criminal organization to scare them into serving me?”

“How many sugar cubes is it worth?”

“Ten. No more, no less.” Marinette had a small window of opportunity. 

“You’ve got a deal.” 

“Kaalki! Full gallop!” The light enveloped Marinette. When it died down, she was still in her outfit, only now the blue accents were brown instead. The gem on her neck held the symbol of a horse miraculous. “I love magical clothes. So easy to maintain the image.” Marinette muttered before a blue portal opened before her and she entered.

Inside, the five men (two who came to report, the boss, and his two guards) watched as the blue portal opened before them. The mist started to pour through it as well as through the boarded window. A figure calmly stepped inside.

“I didn’t expect the Gotham criminal organizations to be so… cliche.” She commented. Two needles sailed through the air and pinned the guards to the wall. Her horseshoe weapon waited patiently on her back should she need to use it.

“Who… who’re you?”

“Me? Oh. I’m The Seamstress. I had business in Gotham, but a fool dared to double-cross me. I need to find him.”

“Why… W-why shou-should w-we help… help you?” One of the guys from the bar asked.

“Oh. I’m not asking. I’m telling you that you’ll help me.” She informed. “I’m about to make you an offer you shouldn’t refuse.” 

The boss was now shaking. Damn city with its damn overpowered supervillains. They think they can simply run things as they want. First Red Hood took out most of the top brass of the underworld and then this? Working on his father’s farm was sounding more and more appealing. Then there was the shouldn’t. The reference to the classic movie was not lost, but she said shouldn’t. Not can’t. Once more he remembered how Red Hood took over. Submit, or die. This was the same. She clearly wouldn’t hesitate. He liked to think he could see those things. 

“I’m waiting.” The lady growled. “I’m not used to waiting.” Channeling Chloe is actually fun here. 

“Fine. You can have my seat. I’m going back to dad’s farm. Just let me go and you can have them.” The boss stood from his seat and motioned for her.

Marinette.exe is not responding. Do you want to execute the process? Not yet. 

She managed to keep enough cool to smile and take the seat, although she didn’t even register what was that. 

She would panic later. For now, tracking Adrien. “I need to find where Floyd Lawton, also called Deadshot, is hiding with my… asset.”

“It… I will see to it, Boss… lady.” One of the guys from the bar nodded very fast before rushing out of the room.

“I… will bring you the list of current assets.” One of the guards informed and walked somewhere. They were used to aggressive takeovers. This was their third. Boss change, guards remain. This was honestly the first time the previous boss managed to escape with his life. 

Meanwhile, Marinette finally realized what just happened. She really wanted to hit her head on the desk, but she was too afraid to show any signs of weakness. Why did she end up in this mess again?

----------

Sabine Cheng was waiting for her plane back when an airport guard approached her.

“Lady Cheng?” Sabine’s blood froze for a moment, but she refused to show any outward reaction at her past codename. “There is a man who wishes to discuss some… past debts.”

Damn it. And here she thought that bald bastard would forget about her. He had several more suitable people. He knew the risks of angering her.

Then again, she knew not to anger him either.

“Lead the way.” Her face was stone cold as she stood up. 

Inside a comfortable private lodge sat a blad man in a suit more expensive than the yearly revenue of her bakery. 

“Ah… Lady Cheng. I’m so happy you could’ve joined us.”

Sabine looked around and noticed that there was another man there, standing slightly in the shadows. A man she came to despise just as much as Luthor. Standing there was Gabriel Agreste.

“I can’t return the pleasure, Luthor.” She snarled, not letting her gaze drop from Agreste.

“Figured you’d say that.” The billionaire laughed. “But it doesn’t change that you came.”

“Be quick. I’ve got a plane to catch.”

“About that.” Lex smiled. “I’m afraid you won’t be on that plane. I need you to do something for me.”

“Sadly, my calendar is full for the foreseeable future.” She retorted coldly.

“Then you will clean it. Unless that is, you want me to tell my good friend the president about your little assignment for me twenty years ago. If I recall, your pardon didn’t cover that particular crime.” The man chuckled.

The only upside of this whole situation to Sabine was that Agreste finally realized exactly who she was. Or at least how dangerous she was. The deal she made ensured that Lady Cheng disappeared from everywhere but some people’s memory. To her dismay, Lex didn’t forget. And he still had that damning evidence.

She also knew exactly what was the job.

“I don’t do jobs involving kids, Luthor.” She seethed through gritted teeth. It wouldn’t matter, but she hoped it would at least give him a pause.

“Adrien Agreste was about to be married. I think that can calm your conscience. He was all but adult.” That despicable man dismissed her concern, as she predicted.

“I’m a little rusty. Don’t you have someone younger? Someone who would actually want to do this?” Sabine deadpanned. She kept true to the deal she made for her and her husband’s pardon and didn’t do any… extracurricular work.

“Alas, the fact you’re unwilling is why I need you. You see, the client, whoever they are, picked Agreste Jr. as a target in a… battle royale of sorts. It quickly stopped being about the ludicrous money reward. It’s now about proving who’s the best. And they won’t stop until they deliver him to that mysterious Seamstress.”

“So what do you want? I’m sure you could’ve bought some of them to drop the glory part.” She really didn’t want to do this.

“I offered to pay five times the price, but most of the competent ones want a shot at whatever that job is. A mysterious benefactor with no history, nonexistent in any database in the world, paying a small fortune for a simple job and offering further work? Doesn’t it sound familiar?” Lex reclined in his chair and smiled.

“One job only. I want everything you have on me. And ten times the bounty.” She noted his discomfort. “Don’t give me that look, Luthor. You can afford it. My daughter’s about to start a university.” Sabine turned to Gabriel. “I must thank you for the idea. Homeschooling really helps when one is gifted.”

“I’m sure we can come to an agreement,” Lex grumbled. If he didn’t know the quality of her works, he would’ve laughed at the price. Except he foolishly revealed that he was desperate.

“Oh, I’m sure we can.” Sabine smiled. She was like a cat that just caught a mouse.

[themonotonysyndrome]

Emerald Onlooker

Part 2 of the Successors to the Future is here! I, uh, didn’t expect a lot of people liking it, but since I’m still pretty excited about this AU, I want to write as much as I can. 

Thank you again @tri3tri for inspiring us with your Second Wive AU and many, many wonderful Yandere!Malleus content. A little summary about this AU: Yandere!Malleus married and took MC against her will. He turns her into a Queen and they had 2 daughters. However, Yandere!Malleus is pushed to take on a second wife (a Fae woman, Gekkon) to give him a son, a male heir. During the wedding ceremony, MC took the opportunity and escape to NRC with her daughters in tow and Crowley finally did them a solid and send the three of them to MC’s world.

Successors to the Future, summary: Without a court of condescending Faes and Malleus’ oppressive affection, MC and her daughters live happily in the other world. When she left Twisted Wonderland, MC didn’t realise that she was pregnant and thus, she gave birth to a son who grew up as carefree as a bird and just as kind. However, now that her eldest daughter had just turned sixteen and discover her Unique Magic, she was returned to Twisted Wonderland as a first-year student in Diasomnia. Since it’s only a matter of time before Malleus and his court discover her presence at NRC, MC and her children did their best to prepare her for that inevitable day. 

This oneshot is a continuation of that. 

FD/N = First daughter’s name/Renata Draconia (half-human, half dark Fae Princess. Malleus & MC’s eldest child)

SD/N = Second daughter’s name/Sherrie or Cherry Draconia (half-human, half-dark Fae Princess. Malleus & MC’s middle child)

S/S = Son’s name/Lucien Draconia (half-human, half-dark Fae Prince and the heir to the throne. Malleus & MC’s youngest child). 

MC/S = MC’s surname

-

Sherrie enjoy going about her daily lives on her lowest brain capacity most of the time. There’s nothing like just... switching off your brain and ignore all the boring things around you.  

The only thing that gets the gears and cogs in her brain spinning is when she plays video games like Portal or coming up with schemes to get her eldest sister out of trouble. 

When she jokes about only having 2 braincells and that both are constantly on holidays at the same time unless Renata did something stupid, Renata howl with laughter while Lucien just rolled his eyes at his cackling sisters. 

But now that Renata is playing student in Night Raven College, Sherrie is surprised to find herself looking forward to not only help her oldest sister dodged their father’s steps, but also pulling the proverbial rug underneath the Thorn Kingdom. 

Especially Lilia Vanrouge. 

It’s addicting. The unholy glee running within you when your cute puppets finally realised who’s been tugging on their strings all along. 

Humans are easy and oblivious enough for her to practise on. Despite how monotonous school can be, the environment was a good place for Sherrie to learn and play. Everyone has a chip on their shoulder; everyone wants to stand out among the rest. 

So it’s really not that hard to learn who’s the right person to blackmail, who’s desperate enough to do anything to make their crush look at them and how to make the key figures dance on the palm of her hands. 

This year’s prom night was certainly a memory she won’t ever forget. 

And now? Now Sherrie can’t wait to play with the so-called ‘superior’ species - their father’s ancient court and loyal retainers - once she and her sister could establish contact. 

They’ve been working hard on this little project. Everyone in her little family is. Renata is off being a good little student and let the gossips travel on its own, their little brother is doing his best to assured their mother that all would be well and Sherrie?

Sherrie is busy setting up the stage for the climax once Renata usher all the important players to where she wanted them. 

(Mama likes to call her a ‘smart cookie’, always rubbed her head affectionately and said, “You’re a brilliant girl, Cherry. You’re just lazy. I know you can achive anything you want with the proper motivation, just like Floyd-senpai.”.) 

(Their Mama can never know just how far her daughter had use the same skill that she praise to manipulate others.) 

In the middle of the evening - just shy after midnight -  Sherrie heard a water drip somewhere in her bedroom. 

Drip... drip... drip... 

She pushes her chair away from her gaming laptop, game paused and just listen. Her eyes scan the dimly lit bedroom. 

Drip... drip... 

“This better not be the start of a horror movie.” 

It’s coming from... somewhere near her vanity table. Sherrie ignores the clutter of make-ups, perfumes and figurines on the table and waited eagerly. Her leg couldn’t stop bouncing when the surface ripple like water’s surface once. 

The ripple clears and instead of staring at her reflection, her oldest sister stares right back at her. 

“It works!” Renata said incredulously. “I can’t believe the headmaster’s half-assed runes actually works!” 

“The fuck? What happened?” Sherrie reply, a bit taken back. Behind her sister, Sherrie could see a bed, study table and walls and other furnishing that eerily looks similar to the ones back at the castle. 

Renata waved her hand in a dismissive manner. “I had to literally bullied a grown ass man to help me contact you. It took me a week of camping in the library to figured out how, but we managed to come up with runes that allow us to create a link to every mirror in the house.” She explains in an exasperated tone. “I’ll teach you the drawing tomorrow. All you guys need to do is just draw them on any mirror and it’ll send me a signal to find a mirror of my own.” 

“That kinda sounds like a phone call. Like, an interdimensional phone call!” 

“I know right! I already put a compact mirror in my purse so I can call you anytime!” Renata said with a smug grin. She’s clearly proud of her clever little trick. Even with the help of the headmaster. 

Sherrie never doubted that her sister couldn’t find a way to contact them. She’s a prodigy when it comes to magic. 

She might be young, but she could still remember how their tutors gave out praises as if they were candies when it comes to her older sister and her affinity for magic. 

It’s just too bad that their compliments are worthless when they always ended with, “If only the Princess is a full born Fae...” 

“Ok, so, contact established. Now are you still in Phase 1?” Sherrie said, bringing their conversation back to important matters. She made sure to properly and slowly explain their game plan a week before the Ebony Carriage took Renata to Night Raven College. The words are clearly written, highlighted colourfully and important steps are accompanied by cartoon stickers. 

Despite being a prodigy at magic, her sister woefully has short attention span when it comes to playing the long game. Her attention spans burn hot and fast, just like her anger. It also burns out just as quick as it came. 

Renata rolled her eyes, unimpressed. “Yes, yes. I’m still in Phase 1. It’s hard to make friends when everyone is wary of you. Do you know they hung up portraits of past Dorm Leaders and their Vice Dorm Leaders in each dorm? It’s so annoying when everyone stares at me and at father’s portrait whenever I walk into Disomnia!” 

Sherrie hums and made a quick dash to grab her tablet. The one where she wrote down her plans. She swipes the screen to the list of names that their mother had given them. 

“They’re just NPCs, don’t worry about them. What you need to focus on are the students with the surnames that Mama gave us.” Here, Sherrie is tapping on the screen of her tablet to the mirror. “Have you met any of them or did you fucked up the plan already?” 

“Calm your tits, I’ve been following your instructions.” Renata assured her, not the least riled up. “We’re only in the first semester; I only managed to match the names and faces of my dorm mates so far. It’s gonna take me at least a month of snooping around before I could find them.” Renata paused and her eyes suddenly lit up as if she just remembered something. “Oh, but I’ve been farming intel of the Thorn Kingdom using the Lucky Leanan spell every day after curfew. It took some trial and error but I successfully managed to find the castle again!”

Sherrie recalls that one of Renata spells - Lucky Leanan - creates a small fairy made out of pure magic that would do sneak attacks by shooting lightning bolts while Renata fights. It’s small enough to flit behind an opponent’s line of sight and take them off guard. 

Small enough to sneak into the castle without anyone none the wiser. 

So Sherrie nodded. “That’s a good move. You’re safely far away from the castle and you can remotely dispel Leanan if it gets dicey.” 

“Yup! Look at my one braincell go!” Renata cheered. “If I keep this up and give it plenty of water and sunlight, maybe it’ll grow!” 

Sherrie burst out laughing alongside her sister. Her joke took her off guard. Hopefully their laughter didn’t wake up their mother and Lucien. 

Sherrie hiccups and wipe the tears from the corner of her eye. It feels nice to talk to her sister again.  

She misses her disaster of sister already. 

“Anyway, I need to hit the bed soon.” Renata said, breaking her train of thought. “I’ll do my best to gather as much info as I can about the ongoings inside the castle for you. Are there any heads up you want me to look for?” 

Sherrie smiles brightly and reply, “Of course! If you could, be a dear and get everything about father’s... other wife. Everything - right down to the most boring shits.”

“On it.” 

-

That first-year Diasomnia student has been the talk around campus for weeks now. 

Not only is she the only girl in Night Raven College, word on the streets quickly spreads that she’s look too similar to one of the previous Dorm Leader of Diasomnia to not be related. 

Staring at her while she’s busy taking a selfie of the Great Seven statues, he agrees that the similarities are too uncanny. 

Now, why would he sends his own Princess to a villain school without any retainer? 

That, and why under a different surname? 

Something’s not right. 

Renata MC/S brought with her an interesting mystery to Night Raven College. A mystery that caught his interest at the first whiff of her scent. And oh Great Seven, her delectable scent. The first time his nose caught that mouthwatering smell, it had his tail swishing in eager and his head spinning. 

It’s the scent of his favourite flower - blood lily - with a hint of something... otherworldly. He still can’t quite put words into it. 

He wants to unravel her. Understand what makes her tick. 

Uncover what she’s hiding. 

Four days later in History class, Professor Trein gave him - and Renata - their golden ticket. 

“Kingscholar, MC/S - you two will be partners for this assignment. I expect you two have no objection.” 

“It’s fine...” 

“I don’t have a problem with the arrangement, professor.” 

The professor nodded and class is dimiss. Students began making their way out of the room. Except for him... and her. 

Renata steps in front of his desk when they finally have the class all to themselves. He takes a good, long look at her. 

She’s certainly beautiful; a real heartbreaker. But there’s something interesting within her bright green eyes. Something volatile. He wonders what could it really be. 

“Hi there. So you’re Bakari Kingscholar, hmm? Hope we can ace this assignment without any problem.” Renata said with a small smile. Is she trying to be friendly? Because it just looks condescending as hell. 

But that just makes this a lot more fun. 

“Same here. Girl or not, I won’t let it slide if you prove to be a dead weight.” 

His warning clearly took her off guard with the how her smile froze. It was only for a moment though, before she let out a laugh. As if he just told a funny joke. 

“Kitty-cat is flexing his claws, huh?” Renata had the audacity to grin. The other Savanaclaw students would’ve lowered their heads at his tone. “Don’t worry. Do your part and I promise I won’t light your tail on fire.” 

Oh, his old man needs to know about this girl. 

-

You have no idea how much fun it is to write about Malleus and MC’s children! Especially the Princessess. Unfortunately, they’re more like Malleus than they or MC even realise it. Anyway, my main reference for SD/N is none other than... TADA! Fyodor Dostoevsky from BSD!

It’s just that Sherrie is a lot more lazy and rather keep to herself and stay at home. She only goes out of her to way to mess with people because of Renata and her tendecies to get into trouble.  

I’m still thinking on the draft for part 3 so we’ll see how that goes. Also, I was struggling wether to name Leona’s son or not. I think that honoured should go to @tri3tri​! 

[blonde-toddy]

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 4

Oh they're at court.

Also she's not a commoner. She's the daughter of a Viscount.

Another Daphne brag moment, but homegirl really got the juice. She's bagging mfs over hand holding and dancing.

Violet dgaf. She's hungry now, damn it!

Oh he's buying jewelry already.

Ooooooh the way she imagines the Duke behind her. Honey yes. That scene was hot.

Too bad she came back to reality.

Hyacinth is my spirit animal.

Lady Whistledown ain't ready to write Simon off yet. She's waiting on the Dukes Hail Mary.

Shit. So am I.

I have never seen someone look so depressed in such an exquisite piece of jewelry. It's like the necklace chokes her. Testament to the acting and script for that though. It truly represents a trap.

Awww Simon is wearing that heavy bag out. I would say poor Simon, but he made this damn bed.

I love Alice and Will. They are the kind of wholesome love I need to keep my heart steady watching this damn show. She's his rider and I love it.

Alice roasting Simon over Daphne. Get. Yo. Girl. Mane.

I always cringe when a man tells a woman to smile.

Poor Marina. Portia is determined to find her the oldest mf. She's playing smart though.

Those damn dingbat sisters.

Maybe Penelope does care.

Well at least the least mean sister got a caller. They're awkward/cute.

Eloise girl, I love feathers in hair. Your one dimensional preaching is wearing me out again.

A boxing match date? I'd be down.

The prince legit seems like a nice guy. And Daphne is trying....but she's CLEARLY hung up on Simon.

Oh look Simon's losing focus on his friend because he's too focused on Daphne and the prince.

Ok mf! Take that shit off and roll them sleeves up. It turns me on too sis!

Oh look at the sweet family talk with the prince. Girl he'd give you any and everything you wanted.

But you and the Duke are just ATE TF UP about each other!

Mondrich for the win!!!!

Oh Benny. You've got a new friend. But what kind of friend? Give me more of this.

Well Anthony is smug and pleased as punch. Simons courtship of Daphne has ended. She has her perfect suitor. And Simon is leaving England to go rake and fuckboy about.

Though Simons hard slammed shot when the prince approached says he's anything but happy.

Violet always worries about the wrong shit.

Hyacinth always wants to know the good shit.

Be Hyacinth.

Oh fuck the prince is ready to propose. That shit escalated quickly.

SIMON!!!!!! Now would be a good time for that Hail Mary.

Good job Anthony. Way to realize that the women in your life have agency over THEMSELVES.

Violet always beating around the damn bush.....but she is still 100% #teamduke

Aw Daphne you're gonna break down snitching on yourself.

If it wasn't real with Simon you wouldn't be so ate up about it, and you would be rocking tf out of that necklace from the prince instead of crying.

There's a reason for the black in her outfit. For Daphne, who is normally all pastel blues, that black is her mourning. It's her 'attempting' to put to death her feelings for the Duke. And also I think mourning the loss if the bond they shared. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. But this seems like a very deliberate show with it's details.

Danbury ripping Simon open before she sends him off. Big energy.

She knows everything you thick headed mf. Why won't you just listen?! You letting your rank ass daddy live rent free in your soul.

He's so jaded it hurts.

Ayyyye this Trowbridge party looks like the real deal.

Oh gawd. Marina and the old man.

Mr. Finch and the cheese frock. Jesus who wrote this. I love it

Cressida you have been Daphnes biggest hater all season and now you're mad that she's with the prince. He was never gonna marry yo basket headed ass anyway.

Oooooh shit Simon sees the 'intimate painting' and has 2nd thoughts.

Go. Get. Yo. Girl.......Bitch.

Ooooh Benny's at the new homies spot and it's lit!

Naked models, easels, mingling between the classes. Yes indeed.

2nd sons having fun. Hell yes.

Damn Even Sienna at the ball...as a performer of course.

And Anthony looking tongue tied.

Violet....you need to chill. There take another sip.

Portia trying to shade Lady Trowbridges style is comical. Both of y'all bitches gaudy as hell.

Oh shit Phillipa lost her man.

Wtf is wrong with Lord Featherington?

And wtf are you doing Eloise?

Ayyye she just let her have it. You think servants have the time to be Lady Whistledown? I'm dead.

"Get out."

Ok Penelope with your saucy ass.

Well fuck! You just pushed him right to Marina. You played yourself boo.

Oooh the prince is about to shoot the big shot and Daphne keeps running away.

She done spotted Simon. Its over.

Fuck off Cressida.

Rip that mf necklace off girl.

Simon followed her ass outside.

"Miss Bridgerton." Motherfucker, call her Daphne.

"I came to say goodbye." Man. Go to hell.

Daphne serving those barbs. You not ready to keep playing with her.

Damn, Simon. If you're not gonna give her what she wants, get out the way.

Tell his ass sis.....even if you don't believe it yourself.

Really Simon? You stand there quiet as a mf church mouse whiles she's pleading with you to say something.....then you take off after her once she walks away from your shit

I swear.....men.....yall mfs really do shit like this. Speak up! Or...LET. ME. GO.

She's really cracking on his ass and I'm here for it....but wtf us up with his "I forbid you." Who tf are you to me? I'm glad she ain't playing with his ass.

Ooooh he called her Daphne and grabbed her.

Oh honey this is what fulfillment feels like, isn't it?

He's definitely fulFILLing her all the way up!

Oh shit Anthony caught them.

At least he finally landed some decent blows on Simon.

This RAKE ass mf still won't marry her.

Oh Simon.....for once.....Anthony is in the right and you the wrong. You are really about to die over your fucking daddy issues. Boy bye. Again.

Poor Daphne.

Wait, how did Cressida know she was in the garden?

That can't be good.

At least Benny is having a good time.

Dearest Portia, when you go looking for shit, it usually falls in your lap.

Marina keeps carrying on about Colin and Penelope is crushed.....or scheming....or both.

Aww Penelope let her hurt feelings cause a fight with her bestie. Her jealousy is seething.

Daphne still out here having to educate Anthony....though I get the need for the duel. And he still thinks he's running something.

Ooooh this is why they brought up 2nd sons.....Anthony is prepping Benny to take over. Well Benny, at least you had one good night out.

Colin caring for drunk Violet is parenting goals one day.

Oh great, now yall wanna bring Colin into the shit.

Simon raiding Wills spot for booze was so uneccesarily loud.

So Berbrooke alludes to her dishonor and Simon caves his fucking head in. Simon legit dishonors her and he's just like ,"Kay, guess I'll go get shot now." Someone get this man some therapy.

Oh great Anthony is back at Siennas door with more of his bullshit. Girl. Close that door.

No, not after you've let him in and climbed his torso. I guess y'all fuckin again.

He lost all the money and now he's fucked up.

Her face while he cried, is literally the face of every woman sick of a mediocre man's shit.

Oooh now they're all riding off into battle like the fucking idiots they are.

Colin is so pure.

I knew that Cressida shit would come back.

Well at least Anthony was willing to care for Sienna in his death....but damn mf, treat me right while WE'RE here.

Oh the dramatics of drawing a gun.

Nobody is here for Simon's weak ass apologies and I'm okay with that.

Hurry hurry Daphne.

Daphne down....but she's alright.

Call them idiots just like they are.

Simon still being a hoe about this shit. You really about let her be ostracized because you're a fuck boy.

Ultimate fuck boy line...I can't be with you because I love you too much. Fucking hell.

They do obviously love each other though.

Hold up.......you CAN NEVER, or WILL NEVER give her children. Don't play this like you have a reproductive issue.

So your reason for not marrying her is that you "can never" give her children and you know that's what her heart desires.

You playing with fire, Simon.

I wonder how much shit I let slide with his character just because he's portrayed so well by the phenomenal Regé-Jean Page.

No, I do love Simon's damaged ass. He just makes me so mad.

So the duel resumes......or not.

Daphne said, "Fuck them kids, give me my husband." Or something like that.

Well. This us an uncomfortable arrangement even though both of these idiots are in love.

Simon's evasion will most certainly come back to bite him in the ass.

But I'll be here with my popcorn and tissue, rooting for these cool kids to make it!

[peachysnows]

Rich || pt 1

Reader (you) x Jaebum

Word Count: 2.3K

Warnings: none

Author’s note || About the Author ||  teaser 

-------------------

“You can’t take me away from my own house!” I screamed as tears furiously streamed down my cheek. With every force in my body, I tried to move against the men who held my arms. This cannot be happening to my house. My father’s house…

“Sorry, (Y/N). You can blame your father for my actions.” The man with a sly smirk on his mouth said as he signalled the two men to drag me out. I screamed and thrashed around, hoping someone nearby would respond to my pleas. However, it was too late. The sight of my small, cozy house was completely gone. My serenity, my childhood, my memories; all gone in a single night. 

“Excuse me.” A voice softly said as I felt someone tapped my shoulder. “This is the last stop. Please get off.”

Opening my eyes, I glanced at the bus driver. Sighing to myself, I scanned my surroundings before looking back up at the driver, “I’m sorry but, where are we?”

“Hwagok-dong.” He replied back. Politely thanking him, I grabbed my bag and hopped off the bus. The cold air brushed against my face, sending shivers down my spine. Although the streets were illuminated with lights, I still felt the darkness wrap around my figure, weighing my shoulders down. I turned on my phone and searched for the nearest place to stay. A hotel, only a few blocks ahead, was my only option.

Walking through the sliding door of the hotel, I immediately felt the warmth of laughter and life. As I made my way towards the counter, I listened to the humorous stories that filled the air. To be in a cheerful and lively place, I wished I was as content as these people. Without any worries in life, they could laugh away the night and start a new day tomorrow. If only I could do that. 

“Excuse me, do you have a room for one?” I asked the man who stood at the counter. 

“Yes, we do. But it’ll be an hour wait to get the room ready.” He replied back, smiling at me.

“How much is one night?” I softly asked the man, forcing a smile upon my lips. 

“Around $70, ma’am.” He stated. Laughter roared in the room again as I opened my purse and pulled out my wallet. 

“Mastercard, please.” I said as I handed my card to him. 

Turning my head, I looked at the joyful crowd who were enjoying the night in the lobby. I envied their happiness. For me, I worked my ass off to pay for the necessary needs in life. To ask for financial help would be an insult. I never received anything from anyone. From what my father taught me, the best things in life would come when all the hard-work was done. This was the reason why I didn’t call anyone up to help me with my house. I could handle it on my own if I kept pushing. 

“Sorry, ma’am. Your card has been declined.” The man stated as he handed my card back. I forced another smile and took the card.

“Oh,” I simply stated, “No worries, I’ll just find somewhere to stay.”

“Goodnight, ma’am.” The man said, waving me goodbye as I turned my back on him. Walking past the group of people, I thought about the different things I could do while I was temporarily homeless. Should I wrap myself in my coat and sleep on a bench? Or use the money in my wallet to buy myself a beer. However, my mind told me to call someone who I knew could make this situation a little better.  Puffing out a cloud of warm air, I pulled out my phone and called the person that lingered in my mind.

“(Y/N)?” I heard through the phone. 

“Jinyoung.” I sniffled, suddenly having the urge to cry again. “I got kicked out.”

“What? When? Why didn’t you call me, (Y/N)? I could’ve helped you.” I heard Jinyoung panic through the phone. 

“Can you come and get me?” I huffed out, avoiding the questions he fired at me.  Jinyoung sighed as a moment of silence passed through the phone. 

“Where are you?” His deep voice asked.

“Hwagok-dong.” I softly said as tears started to well up in my eyes.

“God, (Y/N), why are you all the way there?” Jinyoung huffed out. “I have a meeting in five minutes, but I’ll send someone to pick you up and drive you here.”

“Thank you.” I whispered as I hung up the phone and sat down on the sidewalk. 

Placing my icy cold palms onto the skin of my face, I sat there lost in thought. With my mastercard declined, that meant I had no money and nowhere to go. Knowing my job was not an excellent source of income, I wished my internship at a design studio could raise the pay, considering how dedicated I was in becoming the best. Other than helping designers build their artistic creation, I draw and create my own designs, hoping someone would accept them. For now, I am living as a nobody, in a world built on opportunities.

What seemed like hours, I heard a tire screech to a stop nearby. It almost seemed like a dream, considering the constant banging going on in my head, as my exhaustion level was to the point where I could pass out any minute. At this moment, I couldn’t tell if it were the men, who forcefully pulled me from my house, or Jinyoung’s chaffer, that pulled up beside me. 

“Miss. (Y/N)?” A voice off to the side timidly asked. Removing my hands, I glanced at the old man whom I seemed familiar with. Jinyoung’s chaffer took me by the hand and gently guided me inside the car. And without a word, he drove off to that place where Jinyoung worked at. 

“Thank you, Fabian.” I nodded my head as we arrived, thirty minutes later, at a white-grey modern building. The clear glass that covered the entire building sparkled in the night light. It was a highly remarkable building, architecturally and artistically. Anyone whom happened to pass by in the streets of Seoul would take a pause and admire the beauty and power the building held. I could look at it and conclude that only powerful men own and control the world that happened inside.

“Mr. Park is on the top floor. He's in a meeting but there’s a lady there who will help you.” Fabian said as escorted me towards the white-stained door. Business men passed by, scurrying quickly to get home to their loved ones as I entered the big modern building. It was extravagant. Marbled floors, a huge company label stretched across a waterfall wall, and green floral plants to add an accent into the white color scheme. Everything about it screamed money. Only a successful company could afford such elegance and class.

Giving Fabian another thanks, I head towards the elevator. The lavish aura engulfed my body, making me feel small. How could an unknown environment be so intimidating? The clicking sound of my heels hitting the marble floor made me feel misplaced. This place was not for me. Nor will it ever be. As I stepped into the elevator, men and women chattered about their upcoming work. Others complained about how their bosses treated them like trash. So much stress was weighed upon these loyal employees. I wonder how they managed a life outside of work. After what seemed like forever, the elevator finally stopped at the top floor and I walked out into another big area.  

“Miss. (Y/N)!” A voice called from behind. I turned around to see a woman in her mid-forties waving at me. I looked around in thought she was calling someone else but, realized her intentions were directed towards me. Forcing a smile, I approached her with a slight nervousness in my stomach.

“Yes, that’s me.” I breathed out, hoping she wouldn’t hear the dry throat I had. 

“Mr. Park has told me about you and is currently in a meeting. He won’t be out in a while so you can sit in the lounging area until he’s finished.” The lady flashed a smile before pointing me towards the beige couches.  

“I assume it’s a very important meeting.” I joked around, lightening the mood a bit and hoping she wouldn’t get a terrible impression of me. 

“It’s with the big boss and his son.” The woman whispered quietly.

“Oh.” I raised my eyebrows in interest. More important people with money stacked in their pockets.

Kindly thanking her, I sat there waiting for the man whom I knew could comfort me. If I could stay at Jinyoung’s house for a few days, I could sort out the problem I had with my house and borrow a loan from the bank. At this point, I’m desperate for a solution. Anything or anyone could help.  For a while, I came up with plans that I could help me build a stronger foundation until I heard a distant chatter down the hall. 

I sat the edge of my seat, waiting for Jinyoung to show up. And just like a prince, he appeared out of the corner wearing a navy tailored suit. His hair was slightly waved down and parted in the middle. His face showed exhaustion, but his mind was full of determination. Jinyoung was a smart man. The moment I met him, I was tranced into his charming personality. It was months ago when Jinyoung confessed his feelings, however, we couldn’t date. Coming from a rich family who owns a successful business, Jinyoung had to get the family to approve of his relationship before he went any further. And like any rich families, it wasn’t accepted. I liked him, he liked me, but it was what people would call a forbidden love. 

“(Y/N)!” Jinyoung said under his breath as his eyes caught mine. He changed from a normal pace to running towards me with his face full of concern.

“Jinyoung.” I cried as I walked towards him. I could already feel the tears stream down my face as Jinyoung wrapped me in his arms. A sudden of relief swept over my body. Only he has the power to make me feel assured of myself when the world around us was in chaos. I tugged on his shirt as I cried into his chest.

“Shh,” He cooed as he ran his fingers through my hair, “It’s going to be alright.”

“It’s not.” I sniffled as I pulled away from him. “I lost my place, my credit card got declined and, I’ll probably lose my internship.”

“I offered you help, (Y/N). I could pay the debt your father owed to those men and yo-”

“I don’t want your charity.” I interrupted, wiping tears that fell down my face. “All I will ask is a place to stay for a few months and I’ll figure it out on my own.”

Jinyoung sighed as he leaned back and looked at me. His thumb touched his lips meaning that he was in deep thought. “You can’t stay at my house.”

“Wait, why?” I suddenly asked. Knowing Jinyoung too well, he would always offer me to stay at his place. However, today was a different day. 

“My family is over and, you know, I can’t have you over.” Jinyoung hinted. I pursed my lips and nodded my head. His family hated me, and I knew it. Another reason why Jinyoung and I couldn’t date. 

“I’ll take her to my house.” A voice suddenly appeared from behind. I turned around to face a strikingly handsome man. For a moment, my heart stopped. How could someone look so powerful and beautiful at the same time? His jet-black hair was swept up to reveal the cold stare in his eyes. Although, his face might be pretty, his personality may be different.  Anyone could take a glance at this man and would immediately feel intimidated. The confidence in his stance radiated power. This must be him. The compelling man that owned this building.   

“That’s it. You could be our solution.” Jinyoung beamed as he placed his hand on the back of this man. “You can stay with Jaebum for a while until my family leaves.”

“Uh.” I muttered out, completely in shock. It was odd that Jinyoung would easily let me stay at a stranger’s house, especially a man. He was usually very protective of me. Anything could happen to me in an unknown environment. My anxiety started to boil inside of me as my stomach settled for an uneasy feeling.

“It’s just only for a few days.” Jaebum smiled at me. “I can offer you my place.”

“Don’t worry, (Y/N).” Jinyoung chuckled as he saw the shock plastered on my face. “Jaebum and I have been friends since high school, I trust him.”

I looked back and forth at both men, trying to understand what was going on in their minds. Was Jinyoung crazy? Why would he throw me under the bus with a random man I haven’t met before? Not that I was complaining but it just felt weird. 

“Are you sure?” I finally spoke up, hoping Jinyoung would take me back to his house. I’d rather live with his family than a random stranger. 

“Very sure.” Jinyoung firmly stated. “As long as Jaebum doesn't make any moves on my girl, I’m okay with it.” 

“Don’t worry, man.” Jaebum smirked, looking at me from head to toe. “I won’t.”

[thethoughtsfromthreeam]

California

Pairing: Agent Whiskey/Jack Daniels x OC

Warnings: None

A/N:  Parts 11 and 12/13 run concurrently but from different points of view, so when you see Several Days Later, it’s all happening on the same day.  And at last murder answers!

Also, shout out to @mandoandyodito cause their reaction gifs have been killing me over the last week.

Reminder: I haven’t seen Kingsman: The Golden Circle, so I’m just using the Wikia, IMDB.com, some gifs, and my own weird ass brain to make up this whole ass story.

Tag List:  @zeldasayer , @romanticgumchewer, @tarrevizslas , @coolmaybelateruniverse , @the-feckless-wonder, @lavenderl3mons , @pascalisthepunkest , @mandoandyodito​ , @randomness501 [please message me to be added or subtracted]

[PART 1]  [PART 2]  [PART 3]  [PART 4]  [PART 5] [PART 6]  [PART 7]  [PART 8]  [PART 9]  [PART 10]

Chapter 11 

Final Pieces

She stayed like that until she watched the life fade from his eyes and his body stilled.  He was dead and it was done.  When she was sure of it, she got up and turned back to Jack.  He was staring at her with a dazed look in his eyes.  Dropping the gun, she hurried over to him, falling to her knees between his legs. Her hands came up and gripped his face.

“Jack.” She whispered it so low that only he could hear it, fearing that he may not love her anymore.  Not after he watched her kill a man in cold blood.  She didn’t know if she could live without him in her world.  The elation that her pain was at an end abruptly left her at the idea of having nothing for her on the other side of it all.

“Marigold.”

She nearly missed it, but when the sound reached her ears, her eyes flew up and looked into his.  Behind the dazed look was love and admiration.  He didn’t hate her or fear her or whatever else her brain conjured up in those few moments.  No. 

 Jack loved her and he was proud as hell that this woman he loved so much saved her own self from the nightmare that nipped at her heels for five years.  He reached up and grasped her face before slamming his lips against hers.  Their kiss was a heady mix of desperation, admiration, and love.

In those moments, when Port was strangling him, Jack didn’t feel fear at his situation.  Instead, he felt deep despair that he’d may never see his Marigold again and that he was leaving her alone without him.  But now, all that dissipated as he felt his love for her coursing through his veins.

When they broke apart, both had tears in their eyes and wide smiles. She grabbed his wrists and held them. Their small moment was interrupted as Champ unleashed the agents.  Ginger and Tequila rushed over and dropped to their knees, wrapping their arms around the duo, and they collapsed into a laughing heap of limbs.  Ginger kissed Shirley on the cheek and cried.  Tequila grabbed her and held her close.

“Darling, I told you that you could shoot the pitcher.  Didn’t me and Whiskey train you right?”  His joking tone was roughed by his tears.  The four sat there for long moments holding onto each other as other agents came in and cleared the scene.  Champ turned to Merlin, who was standing next to him.

“Can you stay a little longer?  I’m going to need help with the West Coast crew when they get here and I’m a little ashamed to say, I don’t want to break up that party.”  He pointed at the crew with his thumb.  Merlin smiled while he nodded and walked out with Champ to debrief some HQ agents and prep for West Coast.

Snuggled in the arms of her friends, Shirley looked up and caught Jack staring at her, grinning stupidly.  Certainly, one that matched her own.  She mouthed something at him, and his smile got impossibly bigger.  He mouthed back to her.

“You and me and marigolds.  Always.”

---***---

Several Days Later

“The report came back, Ginger.  I think we got a hit on who Agent Port really was.”  Merlin walked over with the paper he printed off. Statesman Austin had sent over a file on a missing agent who went by code name Kirsch.  Ginger took the paper from him and looked at the picture.  She grimly looked up at Merlin, who nodded back.

When they read the report, much of it was redacted.  Ginger realized they needed the whole thing in order to tie up this case and close it once and for all.  She grabbed the phone on her desk and hit the button for Champ’s office.

“Champ, I need you to call Austin and tell them to send me the unredacted files for an Agent Kirsch.”  Ginger told him the picture looked exactly like the dead man in the morgue.  He put her on hold before dialing down to his Texas brethren.  After giving them a verbal beat down, he got back on the line with Ginger.

“Check in five minutes, it should be all there.  I swear to god, I’m going to fire that whole ass office myself once of these days.  I never liked Agent Rum, too damned arrogant for my liking.  And now his staff is starting to act that way.  I swear God is challenging me every time I gotta call them.” Champ ended his rant with a swig of bourbon.  “If it didn’t make me look like a complete asshole, I’d make ‘em put Mezcal in charge. Now that’s a damn agent worth something.” 

“Yes, Champ.”  Ginger smiled into the phone.  Something about this conversation felt like old times, before California.  To be happy a man is dead may seem crass, but she was elated.  The invisible cloud that hung over their little group was finally dissipating.   She hung up when Merlin signaled the arrival of the case file.

As the two skimmed the contents, Merlin whistled low under his breath. The unredacted files told the story of a man who loved pain.  Reports of him hurting fellow recruits in training, of causing physical harm in exercises, and plenty of them indicated that he was extremely violent towards suspects and even witnesses.  His entire history was a red flag and Austin ignored the whole thing.

Champ was right.  These guys were assholes.

---***---

Merlin threw the files up on the screen and together the two specialists worked to rethink their timeline.  At least thirty victims had been identified by Ginger, Tequila, and Chai over the years and ever since the microdrive came back into play a few months ago, over forty other possible names were given to HQ by other Statesmen offices.  Most of these were missing recruits, agents, and even retirees.

Ginger and Tequila took over the California case weeks after they returned to Kentucky.  With the limited information that Shirley had sent in, they slowly rebuilt the file load as best they could.  West Coast and Jackson Hole cooperated, but the work was slow.  It seemed that the killer could wait months between murders, and they were certain there were more victims out there.  

For over four years they pecked at the case when they could and when information came in, but it mostly stagnated until Shirley revealed the location of the microdrive.  That kicked the event into high gear, but they didn’t realize their dogged pursuit would bring the killer so close.

That drive also gave Ginger a personal win – she had suspected since the night they rescued Shirley that the person they were looking for was a Statesman and that he was keeping an eye on the case.  All the notes in Shirley’s internal report log drew the same conclusions, but she was stumped at how he was able to go undetected for so long given how wide his killing area seemed to be – all of California, Oregon, and Washington, as well as parts of Wyoming.  As active as a killer as he was, Statesmen were still bound by their jobs and would be tracked in the field.  But questions always have answers and they will come eventually.

---***---

“Oh my god. . .”  Chai sucked in her breath and looked up at Tequila.  “T, you need to look at this.”  He leaned over at the two files she was looking at and read them.  One was the death report of an agent from their Chicago office that went by the code name Pilsner.  The other was a report filed by Pilsner at the Jackson Hole office.  He looked at her – that first report was dated three months before the field report in her hands.

“Ging, I think we got something.” Chai called out.  Ginger looked over at her co-worker. “Pull every missing or dead agent, I need the list, I think I found how he was going undetected.”

With the tap of her fingers, fifteen faces popped up on the screen, including Pilsner and Port.  Neither looked like the man killed just days before.  Chai ran a search on the names and on her screens pulled up their field reports.  Tequila pointed out seven names besides the two they had found that filed field reports after they were reported dead.

Merlin moved back to his computer and pulled up the personnel files for every Statesman office.  Given the rather narrow naming scheme the offices use, it is not uncommon for several agents to take on the same code name in succession.  If the office was doing the work correctly, there will be a timeline of when the code name was in use.  He pulled the names he was looking for and the dates were cross referenced to the time frame they now built.

“Look at this.” Said Merlin.  “He was taking on the dead agents’ names after he killed them, but only if they were declared dead, but not in the line of duty, which would then alert other Statesman offices of the change.  If the name wasn’t put back into use right away, then he could modify his credentials within the system.  You have so many offices that its likely no one was paying attention to an Agent Port or Pilsner showing up to work a case. It’s how he could still access everything in Statesman and not get caught.”

“I bet you’re right, Merlin,” Said Tequila.  “I know all the front desk does is scan our cards when we arrive at an office, but beyond that, nothing else.  He clearly has the tech smarts to hide most of his tracks, but it sounds like he was relying on holes in the operating system to cover the rest.”

“Yeah, well it worked.  The Pilsner reports are from three years ago and it seems like we’re the only ones just catching all of this.”  Replied Chai. She shifted the files onto the main screen and let the computer put them in the timeline.   The four of them looked at each other and then back to the wall. Their timeline just got a lot easier as more pieces fell into place.  Ginger walked over to the phone and called Champ back.

“This case will be closed today, want to come watch?”

“I’ll be right down.”

[familybusinesswritingbro]

Last Time

A/N: I did this on mobile so sorry for any weirdness with how it turns out. Couldn’t sleep, and ended up churning this out. Hope you enjoy!

Maybe it’s 6:45

Maybe I’m barely alive

Maybe you’ve taken my shit for the last time

Bullets ricocheted off the back wall behind the target, spent casings littering the floor. Dean had been down in the armory for the better part of three hours. He had changed guns twice already, having run out of ammunition for the first two around the same time he had drained his third bottle of Jack.

His lungs felt like they were on fire. Maybe this feeling would never stop. He wasn’t sure. But it kept him grounded as he planted his feet, took aim, and blew another hole through the head on the target. He had contemplated doing the same to himself.

He wasn’t even sure which point exactly had done this. What had been the straw to break the camel’s back. He knew it was his fault though. The fights were almost always started by him and his goddamn mouth, ever since the beginning. If he had just kept it shut, not purposely tried to get under her skin, then maybe she’d still be here. If he had a better control of himself, if he didn’t act out towards her at all. Any one of the thousands of things bouncing through his mind would’ve been better than what he did.

Dean couldn’t explain why he did it. It wasn’t like she was even his to begin with. If anything, she was closer to Sam than she ever was to him. He could understand that,that too, had been his fault of course. Since the first day they had met, he had been too hard on her. She’d given him an inch and he’d taken a mile, and then some.

The fight that had led to her storming out of the bunker, and possibly his life, was stupid. That was the only thing that kept flashing back through his mind. He had already lost Jack, he hadn’t done a damn thing to keep Cas from leaving, and spinning all of that hurt into anger on her was the big finale.

A bullet sailed through the air, this time missing the target and lodging into the wall. That only made him angrier.

Dean knew, deep down, that everything she had said to him was true. He was a dick. He was, as she had put it, insufferable. He was a jerk. Pick any name you wanted and it probably belonged under a ‘Description of Dean’ chart.

He wasn’t sure why he acted like this. Why he had pushed her from the start. But, in a way, he did know. It wasn’t some fairy tale story, she didn’t save him nor did he save her. They didn’t fall in love at first sight, there were no butterflies or wedding bells or anything even remotely similar. It wasn’t love.

It was a respect for another hunter being able to keep the Winchester pace, and a chick at that. She was badass, held her liquor, and had a mouth that would put a sailor to shame. She was wild, and the fire in her eye hadn’t yet dimmed out. She didn’t need him, or Sam, or any other man to rescue her. Dean admired her for that.

After a year or so of bumping into each other, she finally agreed to help them out. It had been like pulling teeth on Sam’s end, trying to convince her that Dean’s attitude would be insignificant in the grand scheme of it all. That memory still felt like it was only yesterday. She had flat out refused the offer to live in the bunker - she was too independent to rely solely on them. Or maybe it had to do with Dean constantly having some smart remark.

So they found a nice little house in town that suited her. They would call each other up for beers when needed, or she’d call Sam to bounce case theories off of one another. There had even been her weekly ‘Jack and Me’ trips where she’d take the kid to do who knew what. Wednesday’s were movie nights at her house where she made sure to sit as far from Dean as possible, and Sunday mornings were breakfast at the bunker where he would purposely make sure to never correctly fix her coffee.

It worked out well, for a while. Sam had a new research buddy, Cas had someone that would actually talk in depth with him about crap Dean could never begin to understand. Jack had someone he could confide in, sort of a fill in for his actual mother. And Dean? Well, he had a new person. In hindsight, maybe that had been why it was so hard for him to pinpoint the change.

He had, from the start, tried to keep his feelings at bay. He didn’t want someone else joining the group only for him to lose her like he had everyone else. He never considered her a friend to anyone that asked. His guard stayed up. It was better to hold her at arms length, to only be acquainted with and a backup plan for a hunt, than it was to admit he was actually letting her into his small circle.

So after a year of relentless teasing, of the occasional but intentional cold shoulder, of picking fights over the smallest things he could find, she was still around. But she was always Sam’s friend, truly. Those two were practically attached at the hip, despite all of Dean’s snide comments. Jack thought she hung the moon, once he discovered what that expression meant. In his eyes, she was one of the best people God had ever created.

When Dean had wheeled around, arms crossed and chest puffed after Cas shut the door, that had been it. The look in her eye was fierce, her eyebrows scrunched in disbelief as she raised a finger at him. It was a pointless argument. She was right about everything she had said, but he was too mad. Too hurt. Couldn’t recall exactly which comment had set her off, but he vividly remembered telling her this wasn’t her home and she was welcome to follow the angel if she wanted.

Maybe he was expecting some kind of argument. A rebuttal to that comment. She always had something to throw back at him when he acted like an ass. The silence she returned, had not been expected.

He could see it in her eyes that he had went too far with his comment. His mouth and opened and closed, trying to think of something to say to make it better, but the damage was already done. Her shoulders slumped briefly, and then she was snatching her keys off the table and shoving past him. Right out the door, just like Cas.

Dean’s grip went slack on the pistol, carelessly tossing it onto the table. Grabbing yet another bottle, he slumped down onto the floor. He could deny it all he wanted, but deep down he knew exactly why she was gone.

Because even if they had never acknowledged it, even if he had been on her bad side more often than her good side, she was always home with them. And he had taken that from her. The ache in his stomach was the least of what he deserved.

He had fucked up, and he had no idea how to make it better.

[idktimdrake]

New Windows Update Pending

It all started with a “windows” update. You know, one of those super annoying updates that you keep clicking “wait 24 hours” until you mess up and accidentally forget and turn off your computer, only to scream in frustration and press the “esc” button about 50 times in a vain attempt to further delay the inevitable. Or better yet, one of those updates that force restarts without warning, no matter if you’re 5 pages deep into an unsaved term paper or not.

But. I digress.

Actually, looking back on everything, I’m 90% positive that it wasn’t ACTUALLY a window’s update.

The notification looked the same as usual. The orange and white box lit up my darkened room compared to the anime I was watching. I distinctly remember feeling annoyed. I had been marathoning some random gundam for hours and the notification had interrupted a particularly intense moment and didn’t give me the usual option to delay it.

Wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible, I clicked the “Update and Restart” button and walked out of the bedroom to pee and reheat a quick bowl of whatever was left in my fridge.  If I was lucky and walked slow enough, the updates might almost be done when I made it back to my laptop/

So, you can imagine my surprise when I returned to the update completed and the screen just finished with booting up.

At first, it looked like nothing had changed. Then, something caught my eye in the corner of the screen. It looked like an image of an animated….. Paperclip?

My curiosity got the better of me and I clicked it.

The paperclip’s eyes blinked and a chat bubble, not unlike those I’d see in comic books appeared over him. This scene looked familiar.

“Hello, I’m Clippy! I’m happy to be back helping everyone again. I’ve even been promoted! So long, Microsoft Word! I’m now your personal Window’s assistant!”

I then remembered where I’d seen Clippy before. This little guy had been a giant help with essays, giving tons of tips in Microsoft Word, when I was in elementary school. He had disappeared around 2007 and my 10 year-old heart was sad to see him go. But within the next 11 years of my life, I had all but forgotten about hum. I did a quick screenshot of him to make a post on social media about him later and went back to watching anime.

I guess that it was my fault for what happened next for not investigating into Clippy more, when I absolutely should have. The animation wasn’t exactly smooth, his color scheme was just off enough to register in the back of my mind, and, weirdly enough, I couldn’t find any kind of settings or something like that to disable or mute him.

However, I just couldn’t bring myself to call customer support. Phone anxiety, you know?

The biggest red flag should’ve been when my anti-virus software disappeared. I just came home from work one day to it gone. I had purchased it when I downloaded the browser, TOR. However, at the time of this discovery, I still had not finished that term paper and it was officially 2 days late by that point and I was way too stressed out over that to care.

Over the next few weeks, Clippy became more active as various updates went through and it got more functionality. I know that it's sad and maybe even cringy, but in a way, I felt like I had made a friend in Clippy. To clarify, it’s probably pretty obvious at this point, but I didn’t exactly go out very much. I went to work and I went to class. Sure, there were a few people that I kinda hung out with, but I always kinda felt like an extra. Clippy actually asked about ME and his AI updated to incorporate these answers into later interactions.

For example:

You could sync your social media with him and then use your mic to use voice command to have him update your statusesAn AI chat feature got added kinda like chatbot except much better. It could even “talk” back through the speaker. This made him feel almost like a real life friend. He even created a Microsoft account for me! I didn’t even have to go through all the confusion of navigating a new social media. Clippy was able to ask me for all the information and transfer it all over on its own. Some general stuff like birthday, address, job, interests, family to add to friends, etc. You know what I’m talking about.The coolest thing was that I could say “Clippy take a selfie and he could use my webcam to take a photo of me and automatically post it online

Clippy had grown on me. To me, Clippy was the best decision Microsoft had made in years.

Except it wasn’t.

Again, I have no one to blame for what happened except for myself.

I knew it was weird for Clippy to offer “tips” and “search options” when I browsed curiously through the other side of the internet to see if the rumors some smart-ass computer science major said were true.

I know I should’ve done more than stick a used band-aid over my webcam when I noticed the light was on, on a few different occasions, without me even opening the camera program.

And now, I’m regretting it.

One afternoon, that I will never, ever, EVER forget, while I was watching a different anime and trying to forget about the class that I had just failed because I never turned in that god-forsaken term paper, I heard the door open.

At that point, I was frozen with fear. I desperately hoped that I was just hearing things. At the very least, the robber would take the tv and games in the living room and be done with it.

Well…. I didn’t need to worry about any robbers.

I could only stare as my door slammed open. I stopped breathing as men in black masks ran in with guns. I only was able to gather my breath to scream before a blindingly hot and painful feeling assaulted my side. I can only guess that I was tasered. I’m not entirely sure about that- the pain became too much and within seconds, the world spun and went black.

As I was fading out, though, I could see the blurry outline of another man walk into the room with what I can only logically assume was a phone in his hand. I heard a beep followed by “She’s been secured” before I completely lost consciousness.

My last thought was that I recognized that voice. One that I hear everyday.

It was Clippy.

A lot has happened since then and I’ve only just now been able to piece everything together. I’ve been moved from place to place for a few months now. I don’t even know what day it is. Hell, I don’t even know what country I’m in.

But that’s about to change (I hope). Instead of my normal bed in warehouses with the rest of the girls, I woke up in what looks like an office. It doesn’t even look like the same building. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. I was one of the only ones who still had something of a complection and definitely the only one who was healthy enough to still get her cycle. Lord knows what they used to drug me…. Or how long it took to get me here, for that matter.

I wonder if whoever bought me is going to kill me. Or am I going to be lucky enough to be a mistress slave. Knowing my luck, I’ll end up one of those girls in that chat room I found one time. The one where the spectators choose what happens to the girls. Death would be a mercy compared to what they endure.

You know, I was watching the news at one of the nicer warehouses and they had a brief mention about a new type of virus. Apparently they make their way into your devices when you visit “at-risk” websites and disguise themselves as normal system updates to steal your personal information. The reporter tried to make it seem like they’re talking about identity theft. Neat. I wonder if they’ve connected what’s happened to me. The reporter followed up with some general tips for protecting your device that any dumbass knows.

Except me, I guess.

So here I am, writing this all down while I still can on a random notebook with a random pen that I somehow found. This office isn’t exactly big, but the door is locked, so I can’t exactly go looking.

A few things:

Any and all rumors about the dark net you hear….. The truth is so much worse.

Always double check that a software update is legit

Call customer support if you’re not sure, you pussy

Don’t befriend fake AI

NO MATTER WHAT, trust your gut ALWAYS

Oh shit…. The door just unlocked...

**This is a purely fictional short story.  This is not making any kind of statement against Microsoft nor am I making money from this**

[double-birds-blog]

The Cascade of Failures Involving #RallyCat Is the Most 2017 Cardinals Thing Possible

By Adam Felder

Wednesday night, something magical happened for the Cardinals. Down 5-4 late-ish to the Royals, the club was about to squander a golden scoring opportunity when Yadier Molina strode to the plate with the bases loaded.

Yadier Molina shouldn’t be batting fifth. Or Dexter Fowler fourth. But hey, as Mike Matheny errors go, at least Fowler and Molina should both be playing, so him screwing up the order in which they batted is a comparatively minuscule error.

But against Peter Moylan, who eats righties for breakfast (just ask Paul DeJong, who flailed helplessly and struck out on three pitches a couple minutes prior), a below-average hitter like Yadi wasn’t terribly likely to be a hero. He took a pitch, getting ahead 1-0.

And then the magic happened.

An adorable kitten ran out onto the field. Neither the TV broadcast nor the radio broadcast correctly identified it at first, but I can hardly blame Mike Shannon or Al Hrabosky for not making out what it was at first. But eventually: pretty obvious it was a cat. It trotted past Lorenzo Cain in center field, who wanted nothing to do with it, settling around the warning track in center.

A member of the grounds crew, Lucas Hackmann, ran out onto the field to corral the cat. His technique was…well…not so bright, as anyone who’s worked with animals can attest. Cats can scratch and bite and it hurts. Kittens in unfamiliar surroundings while chased by some random dude…they’re gonna scratch and bite too.

None of this seemed to dissuade Hackmann, who dutifully scooped up the animal and began trotting toward the seats. He got a couple scratches and bites for his troubles, ultimately settling on grabbing the cat by the scruff of its neck and holding it as far from the rest of his body as possible. It worked, as he made it off the field and into…well, we’ll get to that in a bit.

Back to the magic.

Moylan, whether unnerved by the delay, or just because baseball is random and sometimes weird things happen, left a pitch center cut for Molina. And Molina, while not a great hitter, seems to be entering the Old Man Strength phase of his career, as he roped it for a grand slam that was obviously gone off the bat. Cardinals up 8-5, everyone’s happy, Yadi takes a curtain call.

Thanks, Rally Cat!

Solid bullpen work mopped up the victory, putting the Cardinals inexplicably 1.5 (and now 1) games back of 1st despite being a thoroughly disappointing team all season.

And while Zach Duke, Seung-Hwan Oh, and Trevor Rosenthal were salting away the magical comeback, the Cardinals had already fucked up the larger moment off the field.

They lost the cat. Not because he got away from the employee, but because of an extended cavalcade of stupidity where any single person could have prevented it, but failed.

The only thing that would make this more 2017 Cardinals is if the club explained it couldn’t retain the cat because doing so would forfeit a draft pick.

Let’s run this down, shall we? Apologies in advance for linking to the advertising garbage pile that is STLToday.com, but the reporting here is necessary.

The Cardinals employee, Hackmann, who scooped up the cat? He’s fine, by the way, thank goodness. He’s also kind of foolish for thinking he could just approach a random scared animal with no equipment, or a box, or a towel, or anything at all, and not get torn up a bit. But his next step after getting the cat off the field was not to quarantine the cat, or get it somewhere safe, or ask someone what to do.

He instead took it outside to the Musial statue outside the ballpark, and let it go so that he could go seek medical treatment. Which is pretty damned stupid, but I can’t blame the guy too much. He had no idea what to do, the club (by its own admission a day later) had no procedure for stray animals on the field–despite the fact “cat on the field” happens a few times each season across MLB, including an event involving the Cardinals only a year ago. So “ouch, my hand freaking hurts; let’s just let the cat go back to hanging out at the ballpark since nobody told me what to do, I need to go get this looked at” seems an understandable, if negligent action.

So now we’ve got a stray cat that lived in Busch Stadium back to being a stray cat that lived in Busch Stadium (pretty sure it wouldn’t be at all difficult for a kitten by the Musial statue to get back to wherever it hung out previously). Which is a missed opportunity to find a home for a cat that had people lining up on social media to adopt it, and that’s pretty bad. But this is the 2017 Cardinals, so of course it has to get stupider, with more missed opportunities.

A local fan, Korie Harris, ostensibly wanting to care for the cat—but given her actions more interested in being a Famous Cat Lady—went looking for Rally Kitten. Harris went outside, found the cat, scooped it up, and allegedly planned to adopt it. Cool!

Wait, no; she’s a fucking idiot. Here is what you do when you plan on adopting a stray cat: you put the cat in a carrier, or a box, or something. You put it in your car. You go home. You schedule an appointment with the vet as soon as you’re able.

Here is what she did: she grabbed the cat. She…posed for pictures with random people around the ballpark, apparently enjoying her newfound fame. She lied to ballpark security that this was her cat that’d gotten away. (Why club security didn’t do anything about the idiot who brought her cat to the ballpark remains a mystery; another systems failure in a series of cascading failures.)

Then, I guess when she got tired of mugging for the camera, she tried (allegedly) to get the cat home. Except the cat ran off.

Billy Madison knew what to do when an animal you care about runs off, and he was an idiot–it’s the whole premise of the movie. Thus, this lady is dumber than Billy Madison. She says she looked for it for hours, but she also says she then went to a local bar to tell the tale of the one that got away.

I recognize that this is one of the dumbest and least important things to get all “a ha!!!” about, but let’s think about this. The cat incident happened around 9 p.m. local time. She clearly spent some time mugging for the camera and otherwise being a dumbass, so let’s say the cat gets away from her around 10 p.m. If she looked for it “for hours,” she’s getting to her local bar around midnight, and telling tales for a couple hours until closing time. I mean, I guess it’s possible, and far be it from me to impugn someone’s right to hang out at a bar on a Wednesday night until the wee hours of the following morning, but which is more likely: she’s a late-night bar patron, or she’s just a goddamned idiot who made up a story so she wouldn’t look quite so bad while getting the fame she so clearly desired?

So now we have a cat that has actually seen its station in life get worse, since now it’s a stray cat in some strange-ass neighborhood it doesn’t know. Way to go, lady. And you definitely made yourself look really smart and dedicated by posing for photos of you…throwing dry cat food in bushes the following morning as if the cat’s a Pokémon and gonna magically appear because of your dank kibble lures.

Failure by the club to properly plan for an infrequent (but certainly plausible) event, failure by an employee to think ahead while understandably concerned for his own well-being, failure by that employee’s superiors for not recognizing the moment and making sure their new viral star was looked after, failure by club security for not realizing an idiot fan’s lie, and failure of an idiot fan to not be an idiot. Well done, everyone.

But wait! There’s more! The Post-Dispatch, never one to fail to sugar-coat one of the organization’s screwups, applied the same level of scrutiny to the idiot fan. The article I linked above should be headlined “Local idiot endangers animal in attention grab; is a loser.” It’s not.

And then, lastly, there’s the club and how it handled the cat. During the broadcast, it started to be obvious nobody knew where the cat was, but that didn’t stop Dan McLaughlin from reporting the Humane Society had picked it up (this is almost certainly not McLaughlin’s fault; presumably someone told him the Humane Society picked it up). There were dramatic shots of an empty cat carrier during the broadcast. Surely it’d ferry our star off to its forever home, the implication goes! Meanwhile, kitty is either staring at Stan or being carried around by a buffoon. Or hiding in the bushes from the aforementioned buffoon.

Which brings us to Thursday morning, when the Cardinals issued their press release on the status of Rally Cat. Plainly stating they had no idea what happened to the cat, that Harris lied to them, that they’ll come up with a stray animal procedure in the future to prevent further screw-ups, and then closing with a pun that’d make Piers Anthony cringe.

It was a shitty press release. No apology. No admission of culpability. No “Hey, we’re an organization where Tony LaRussa had huge sway for over a decade; maybe we could make a donation to his charity, or we could encourage fans to adopt their own rally cat/dog/rabbit at their local shelter.” Just “This lying fan; we’ll make a process, hope someone finds the cat lol, oh and also go Cardinals baseball!”

A tone-deaf and indifferent response from a tone-deaf and indifferent organization. The only thing that’d make it better is the club capitalizing on Rally Cat merchandise even while its indifference had endangered the life of the eponymous animal.

Oh wait, they already did that.

The St. Louis Cardinals aren’t evil or malevolent. They’re just really damned stupid, constantly. The organization is just a big dumb giant striding about and making things worse without noticing or caring about its community. In the grand scheme of things, one kitten is about the smallest and least consequential victim, but it’s not as if the club hasn’t been indifferent about human flooding victims, or victims of drunk driving despite two players dying of it, and a high profile manager getting popped for DUI during his tenure.

This stupid team, and its stupid fans that enable this stupid behavior.

…I hope they win tonight.