#she and Mai had it double time probably because of them being girls so man

[grossitsluca]

queen. i loved the johnny & parcel girl fic so much. may we know if she did end up giving him wee bairns 🥺

thank you queen! i was looking for a reason to keep writing for this one 😭

pt2 to this

The sound of the front door being shut felt like being tossed a buoy while drowning in the sea. You closed your eyes in relief as you stood up from the carpeted floor, back aching and knees cracking.

“Johnny! You back?” It had been a long day of you watching the kids while your husband was at work and you now wanted nothing more than to put your feet up and just relax. Your youngest girl wasn’t old enough to go to nursery, and the thought of separating her from her older sister seemed unfair. Besides, you were on maternity leave now, and there was something so rewarding about looking after them both as they played and grew.

“Johnny?” You yawned, as you bent over to pick up the youngest, the other one content to play with her light up toys on the floor. “Are you back yet?” There was no reply. Usually he comes in shouting about how he much he “missed his three lassies” but today, there was no noise. A slight shiver ran up your spine. What if that wasn’t your husband? The feeling of nausea crept its way into your stomach, your throat closing up as you slowed down your breathing.

You whispered to your other girl, to stand up, slowly and quietly, telling her not to make a sound, there’s a new game you’re playing about who can be quietest the most. Keeping your eyes on the door, you usher for her to go sit behind the sofa in the room. But then the door starts to open, ever so slightly, and you freeze. Your grip on your baby tightens and your hand on your toddler becomes firmer. The door continues to move, the creaking sound growing louder and louder, more and more light flooding into the room, until the door suddenly widens, a sharp sound of fear leaving your mouth. And you see him.

“John MacTavish, I hate you.” And the sound of his cackling fills the room. He spends the next minute or so, laughing at himself, doubling over and even holding onto the door frame for support in his laughing fit.

“Sorry, lass, am sorry, didnae mean to scare you so.” He says after he calms down, even though you can tell from the smirk on his face that he absolutely did mean to scare you like this. Here you were, tired and now scared shitless and he still thinks he’s funny. Well, two could play at that game. You leave him in the doorway, still feeling smug and just simply walk past him, into the kitchen.

Half an hour goes by and Johnny has started to realise that you’re serious, probably due to the fact that you plated everyone else’s dinner but his. It’s not like you didn’t let him eat, just that you let him do it himself for once. Another half an hour and Johnny has began to panic. He wouldn’t have pulled such a stupid joke if he knew you’d be giving him the silent treatment.

Two hours later and you’ve settled both the kids in for bed in their room, adjusting the baby monitor, just to be sure. You walk past Johnny, not sparing him a second glance as you head towards the bathroom. A twenty minute shower later and another ten minutes spent on your skincare, you decide it’s time to head back to your bedroom. You could have been back earlier, but you purposely dragged it out to teach Johnny a lesson.

You turn off the hallway lights before opening the door to yours and Johnny’s bedroom, only to be met with the sight of Johnny kneeling on the floor, blocking your way in.

“Excuse me.” You say pointedly, and try to shift that mountain of a man with your leg. Obviously, you failed. But that’s when he starts.

“Am so sorry lass, wasnae thinking, shouldn’t have done tha’ to you. Wasnae thinking about my beautiful wife who spends her day looking after our family. Won’t do it again, ah swear.” The worst part is he actually sounds sincere, because for you, the look on his face as he watches you walk by him without any acknowledgment was rather fun. He looked scared shitless when he understood the gravity of the situation, which you have to admit make you laugh inside. But if he actually means this apology, then you have no choice to forgive him. Shame.

“Johnny get up.” His face lights up once he hears you call his nickname, and he knows he’s in the clear now, which he celebrates by immediately pouncing on your lips, murmuring about he’s been thinking of kissing you all day. To be honest, so have you, but you don’t tell him that.

“You know, if you hadn’t apologised, you would have slept on the couch.” And that scared look on his face returns.

[snorkling-in-sodasea]

The Gay Guys and the Little Girls Hypocrisy

Yeah, I might as well make this its own little post than adding to the last one. Like many others said, though, it just seemed hypocritical that Blitz doesn't want to carry out a hit just because it affects him personally. It's not even in a fun way or understandable one, like 'it's Hell so of course there's douchebags with selective morals, especially when something personally affects them'

Seriously, there's a whole fucking list of times I was thinking during that scene:

The most common example is the very first episode, when Blitz was happy about the idea of ruining a family. Everyone has brought up how the double standards is that 'if's it straight - or at least a man and a woman - then cheating is horrible. If it's gay - particularly gay guys - then cheating is fine'. Well, would that still be true if Martha and Ralphie painfully resembled Blitz's desires and Stockholm syndrome-formed love towards Stolas? Because I'm thinking that's the bigger factor here

no one gave a fuck about all those spring breakers who got slaughtered just for a parking spot

no one especially gave a fuck about all those people in the opera house. And it's arguably worse because they weren't even targets that episode like the spring breakers. Yet I.M.P. didn't even think those unnecessary corpses were worthy of being noted, including Moxxie (sure, he may have gotten past it in Murder Family but a side glance and a moment of being conflicted would have been nice. If not exactly that, then some sort of fucking notice on Moxxie's part at least)

I guess there's the lumberjacks at the start of Ozzie's. For all we know, they could have had precious, little daughters like the gay dads in Sinsmas, or even loving wives/husbands that they could've wanted to have kids with

I'm actually not sure to include Jimmy from Unhappy Campers but I guess I will just in case. Because on one hand, he did intentionally kill someone, even if it was to help Barbie. On the other, though, he's only 18 or 19 years old. Just like the lumberjacks, for all we know, he could have had a loving mom and/or dad who'll be devastated over his death. It'll feel like too soon for them and it's the one thing that any good parent doesn't want, to outlive their kid. There is the fact that Barbie needed Jimmy to make a living, though, and Blitz never called it off. He decided that his business was more important than Barbie's livelihood

I actually forgot about this one when I was making this list but there was that freaking massacre at the beginning of Full Moon. Seriously, a pile of guts spilled from the bodies, entrails hung up decoratively, and all that. The worst part was that there was a person right in the middle of that, maybe even a kid if I remember right. It's probably worse for that person if they weren't a target and that's why they're still alive. Blitz never gave a fuck about this person's mental health when he and his team just did all that gory shit. Blitz never gave a fuck about the horn of plenty's worth of mental scars when that happened

Let's not forget the shorts! Emberlynn, a freaking college girl who has a hit on her over a fucking shipping war. Blitz may have thought of it as excessive but he still decided that the money was more important than the fact the target is a young college girl

The one with the chupacabra. The guy who died, he clearly had a wife who was in waterfall tears over his corpse, even holding him close

Then there's the kid in the freaking pilot. The mother was definitely devastated over having lost her son, just imagine how much worse she'll be when she recognizes the corpse in her arms as her son.

And going back to 5, Blitz looks even worse to me thanks to the scene with him sparing the gay dads in Sinsmas. Because he felt more emotion at a couple of strangers who strongly resemble his personal issues and desires with having a happy, little family with Stolas, Octavia, and Loona than he did about whether or not his own twin sister had a job to support herself with. Blitz has some fucking gall to talk about missing his sister who he was super close to when he, like I said, ultimately chose to let a hit get carried out even if it meant screwing over his sister's livelihood (Also, what fucking bull it is, Blitz saying that he and Barbie were as close as he claims when there has been at least three fucking flashbacks between Blitz and Fizzarolli when there hasn't even been one between Blitz and Barbie. If anything, if it wasn't for the love letter in Oops, I would sooner believe that Fizz is Blitz's true sibling)

[blorbocedes]

Love triangle where the two love interests get together instead

Lewis & Jenson both shooting their shot with Nico and failing miserably, endgame slagclaren

"He double booked us, didn't he?" Jenson susses out, seeing Lewis in the romantic candlelit high-end resturant dinner table he was supposed to have with Nico. Well, now he looks proper silly showing up with a bouquet of roses.

Lewis isn't better off; dressed up in a black suit and clean shaven face, buzzed hair. A not so inconspicuous jewellery box wrapped in satin bow sits on the table. At least they're both cliche. Clearly, Nico has a type.

"That fucking—" Lewis shakes his head. "You too?"

Jenson shrugs in half sympathy. He pulls the chair to sit. Maybe there's a misunderstanding. Maybe Nico will show up and choose one of them, like out of The Bachelor. In which case, Jenson was simply forward thinking by bringing roses.

Lewis tries calling Nico, but Jenson knows it'll go straight to voicemail. He takes out one of the breadsticks from the complimentary basket and burns the edge on the candle's flame, watching it darken, before taking a bite. He may look like one, but he's no gentleman.

"Nico and his games." The elusive blonde that taunts them both and loves his mindgames. And to think, Jenson used to respect the bro-code once upon a time.

Lewis hangs up, frustrated. He looks across the table at Jenson's expectant eyebrow. "Look, man. I get it, Nico's playing you and we're going through our shit but at the end of the day it's gonna be him and me. It's always been."

Jenson leans forward. The candlelight warmth casts the romantic cast on Lewis' features, and his neck tattoo peeks out from under the shirt collar. He's always been a good-looking lad. Jenson can admit that. "Remind me, whose lap is he crying on when you two break up again? And trust me, mate, that's not all he's doing there." Jenson smiles wolfishly.

Lewis scowls, scrunching his face. He opens his mouth, as if to propose to take it out in the back lot and fuck, wouldn't Jenson love that? There's nothing quite like the high of getting your nose punched in. Nico would probably love it, both of them literally fighting over him.

At that moment, the server interrupts them holding a bottle. "A vintage red for you gentlemen, courtesy of Mr. Rosberg."

Of course.

Both of them straighten up, schoolboys on their best behavior as she pours their glasses. Jenson scans the tables looking for golden hair, and meets Lewis' eyes doing the same. Without meaning to, they both end up laughing, caught.

Lewis takes a sip. "Fuck, man." He shakes his head. "He drives me crazy."

"Tell me about it." Jenson swirls his glass, letting it aerate. Lewis' lips are a deeper shade of pink because of the wine, and his tongue darts out across that bottom lip. Jenson thinks they both probably taste the same right now. The wine of Nico's choice. The thought goes to his groin.

"What if we don't give him what he wants?" Jenson proposes.

"What do you mean?"

Jenson gives a very obvious once over at Lewis, slowly trailing his eyes down over the exposed second shirt button and flash of chest. "We've had some good times together. We've shared a bird between us before." And if their swords crossed, they didn't talk about it after. Jenson doesn't take it up the ass, but head is head.

"There's no girl now." Lewis cocks his head, suspicious. One can imagine what being with Nico can do to a man. Suddenly, Jenson feels a lot more amenable to ending this night in a way that is mutually beneficial, over both of them getting put out.

"No. There isn't." Jenson takes out the hotel key card and places it in between them, letting Lewis decide for himself. He's a big boy.

Lewis finishes his glass, and pours himself another. And then he pockets the card.

Ending the night on his knees with Lewis' length in his mouth, and hands in his hair surprisingly gentle, Jenson has to wonder if this was the outcome Nico had planned all along.

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

TW: sensitive topics

Adam slowly becomes more tolerate and less misogynistic over time via osmosis but won't admit it and instead hides it.

Adam thinks women bitch too much about the pink tax until he's sent out to get period products for Reader and Lute, only to realise that his cost of his shopping just doubled in price from just one pack.

Adam thinks women bitch too much about not being welcomed to normally male occupied spaces until he's playing late night online and hears a woman join only to leave after five minutes because everyone kept harassing them.

Adam hounds a girl for her number, thinking that he's so smooth for getting it in the end, but then decided to lose it after watching a film with Reader and Lute where it showed a girl terrified of what would happen if she didn't give a guy her number and hears Reader and Lute, two very capable women, talk about how they've been in similar positions.

Adam has done a lot of thinking lately.

Personally, I'd like to think that Heaven, while flawed, is above some of the nonsense like the pink tax. I do still think catcalling and being harassed happens, probably mainly in result to a lot of men modeling Adam's behavior.

But once he gets with you and you start calling him on his shit, and therefore Lute gets more comfortable calling him out, and especially after the period simulator, he's more aware of certain things.

I feel like eventually he'd ask you if this is how bad it is now, what did you do when you were alive? When you had to work constantly, sometimes 2 jobs at a time, just to afford basics. That's when you tell him you didn't really have a choice but to suck it up. That you weren't allowed to get a hysterectomy, you couldn't take sick days just for a period, and that most doctors wouldn't believe you anyway.

Especially if you're a trans person this is a big foot in the door to explaining how poorly women and queer people are treated. Hit em with the fact that religious nuts use Adam and God as examples for their behavior and he's going to feel physically sick. I think he'd have to take a few days to just be by himself and really think about how he acts and how people interpret that.

From there it's a slow build up to correcting his behavior. And it's not always gonna be easy. He's going to be defensive, he'll tell you that you're overreacting and that him persistently following a girl around to ask her for her number repeatedly isn't bad, it shows he's interested. He's a nice guy.

Tell him that's what other men thought too until "insert any woman you can think of who was assualted".

Lute's more direct, she sits his ass down and has him watch as many true crime stories of women getting kidnapped, SA, tortured, and murdered as she can find. Usually she picks ones based off the names you drop. He really only has to hear 4 or 5 before it sinks in. (Tiktok reminded me of the girl who was tortured to death for 45 days and assualted with lit fireworks so, have that fresh horror in your minds).

Tell him about any personal experiences you had and how terrifying it is to be a woman or queer. Show him the responses to the man or the bear question. Let him fully realize how many people, people he knows as strong and capable, would rather face the bear because "the worst the bear can do is kill me". Or "Nobody accuses me of liking being attacked by a bear"

"No one asked me what I was wearing when the bear attacked"

"People would actually believe me if I said I was attacked by a bear."

"The bear sees me as a person."

"The bear lives in the woods, the man probably followed me."

Each answer is gonna send a new shiver down his spine.

Reforming Adam isn't an easy or fast process but it's fully possible because I don't think he's bad or a fullblown narcissist. I think he's been told his entire existence that he's a good guy, a pinnacle of creation, someone to be admired and obeyed without question.

You could argue he may be a bit controlling and narcissistic because of how he treated Lillith and requested a submissive wife with Eve. And I don't think he's ever not going to be full of himself and expect his ideal partner to be a bit more traditional in the sense that they're a housewife/domestic type. But he also likes people who go out and have fun, can get wild, and he definitely thinks it's hot if you can defend yourself even if it strokes his ego if you let him do it.

But overall, I think with enough time, patience, and exposure Adam could become a better person. Probably the type who would throw hands with himself if he could. Definitely becomes the type to start borderline hating other men.

[tommygrace]

Cillian Murphy talking about Tommy and Grace.

Tell us about Tommy’s relationship with Grace

"He meets this girl who works in the pub and she gets to him. You begin to see the chink and the man that we would have known from before the war. It’s a beautifully observed relationship because it happens very, very subtly and slowly - it’s sort of a gradual defrosting between the two of them. It becomes quite intense over the course of the series. He has that fierce drive and ambition, and capacity for violence but also you see the other side of the man and the beauty of it is that he starts falling in love with this girl."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/mediapacks/peakyblinders/cillian-murphy/

"I think the pre-war Tommy used to smile a lot, he laughed a lot, he wanted to work with horses. He was very romantic. And all of these things, you see scratches of them, you know, throughout the show and there's times when he feels like he's getting towards some sort of healing when he's with Grace. And then it's taken away again. And then he retreats back into that kind of shell emotionally."

https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=fAsbq1pRtnkWzM0I&v=ykJJ2nHIX4A&feature=youtu.be

"We meet him at the beginning of season 3 you know he kind of ostensibly has everything that he could wish for you know certainly materially and you would expect emotionally because he now has you know the woman that he loves.and he has a little baby and he has lived in this vast vast mansion."

"Grace and the kid represent kind of the purity in his life you know really and then over the course of the season she gets stolen away from him and then right the end the kid gets stolen away from them and so they kind of everything that's pure in his life seems to be under trait throughout the course of this seríes."

" it's heartbroken,. she's such a fantastic character and you know such a great time working with Annabelle on the show and you know she in one and two she kind of altered to Tommy I think that light side of Tommy that he left behind in the trenches and in France um was kind of reignited by her and I love the duality of the character because she is in one hand a secret agent and then the other hand you know a loving wife and she's a strong strong lady , Steven write such strong women so yeah it's a bit of a shocker to read it."

https://m.youtube.com/live/oVC7pRfoyxE?si=ua154aB4GPLa0IN3

Cillian Murphy agrees that Tommy Shelby was, and still is, beholden to the women in his life. “All the good stuff in Tommy comes, through his mother, from the Romany side. Polly’s the one he trusts most. And he loves his sister, Ada, even though he’s frustrated by her politics. His romantic relations are less straightforward.”

That puts it mildly. In series one and two, Tommy swung between Irish secret agent Grace Burgess and horse-loving aristocrat May Carleton. No sooner did he marry Grace at the beginning of series three than she was murdered. Since then, he’s had a go at orgies and erotic asphyxiation with Tatiana, a double-crossing White Russian, and enjoyed regular hook-ups with his brother John’s ex-fiancée, Lizzie Stark.

Murphy takes a deep breath. “Right,” he says, “during the time Tommy was married to Grace he was completely faithful. Prior to that, sex was basically a way of self-medicating, then Grace’s death spun him off into something else entirely. I think that as we meet him now, he’s probably shut down again emotionally, and sex is just a physical need that has to be met.”

https://www.radiotimes.com/tv/drama/peaky-blinders-series-4-women/

And also Steven Knight.

It shut him down emotionally?

"During really horrific war situations, human beings change very quickly. Some part of the subconscious decides ‘If you’re going to survive, you’ve got to be like this’ so that’s who you become – hard and brutal and all of those things that happen to soldiers. When Tommy got back, he couldn’t stop that. He was frozen inside, like a lot of people who’ve suffered the trauma of war.

Tommy was locked up and frozen inside for a long time. Then he met Grace and she changed things, she unlocked the doors a bit. Then as soon as that happens, it gets closed down again because she gets killed.

What I keep doing with these characters is offering them a road to happiness and then blowing the bridge up and not letting them go down it. Polly too, would have been happy perhaps with Aberama, but then he’s taken away from her as well."

Is there special significance to Grace’s name?

"Yes. She was exactly that, the old Puritan Christian concept of grace – whether you’re good or not, sometimes somebody comes to you and saves you, even if you don’t deserve it. The idea of an unearned saviour coming to save you is exactly what Grace was, and Tommy sort of didn’t deserve it. Then she was taken away so he was thrown back."

https://peakyblinders.tv/exclusive/steven-knight-on-tommy-shelby/

[thelibraryoflightandflowers]

Where's Violet?

Read on AO3

Link to Masterlist (because this became a series)

An imagined meet-cute between Garrick Tavis and a Male Reader because there isn't enough x Male reader out there. If people like this, I may create an actual story line for this and make it a series.

Garrick was so totally fucked. He’d promised Xaden that he’d watch Violet while he went and did whatever Wingleader shit he was stuck doing (He wasn’t fully listening when Xaden had told him, if he was being honest), and he’d turned around for a second to talk to Bodhi and now Violet was gone. 

“Fuck.” He sighed.  

“What did you do?” Asked Bodhi, who was still standing next to him. 

“I think I just lost Violet.” He replied, still scanning the room to try and find the girl, looking for her silver hair and not finding it. Fuck he was screwed. Xaden was going to kill him, that is if Violet didn’t manage to kill them both first. She happened to be, so far, very talented when it came to almost dying. 

“Fuck.” Cursed Bodhi, also not finding the girl after looking around the sparring gym. “Imogen!” Bodhi called. She looked their way and, seeing the mild concern on Bodhi’s face and the mild annoyance in Garrick’s, walked over from where she had been stretching.

“Where did Violet go?” Garrick, still scanning the room, questioned as soon as she was within earshot. 

“I dunno. She said she had to go meet an old friend. Wasn’t fully listening, didn’t really care.” she replied, clearly annoyed at having been interrupted for such a stupid question. 

“Okay, let’s split up, because we gotta find her before she almost gets herself killed again. I’ll go check the archives and the academic buildings, Imogen you search the dorms and common areas, and Garrick you check the flight field.” Bodhi decided as they walked towards the door; he had always been the most rational of the three of them. Imogen grumbled about being forced to babysit but walked in the direction of the dorms, and Bodhi clapped Garrick on the shoulder before walking after her, while Garrick headed in the other direction towards the shortcut to the flight field that Xaden had discovered in their first year. As he walked through the dark tunnel, he couldn’t help but mourn his plans for the evening, mainly sparing with Bodhi and then sleeping because between the weapons runs and his poor sleep habits he was dead on his feet most of the time. 

As he walked onto the flight field, he scanned the area quickly, spotting two figures sitting in the grass, one leaning against a very large black dragon. Great. At least Tairn was with her, so she probably wasn’t in any real danger. Still, as Section Leader he probably should remind Violet about curfew - plus, Xaden said to keep her out of trouble, which probably included whatever punishment she’d get for breaking curfew. 

As he approaches the two, he hears Violet talking about threshing.

“I obviously couldn’t just leave her there…so I tried to fight off the three cadets.”

“Glad to see that your lack of self-preservation hasn’t changed.” The man she is talking to responds.

Garrick can’t help but snort a little, which makes Violet’s head whip around towards him, and the mouth of the stranger quirk up into a little smile.

“Garrick!” She startles.  

“Sorrengail. You are currently breaking curfew. I’d suggest finishing your…whatever this is, and heading to your dorm for the night.” He responds. 

“ Whatever this is ; You make it sound so indecent, Section Leader.” The man sitting across from Violet snarks, and Garrick couldn't help but look at the man that apparently knew who. he was - and did a bit of a double take, because the man was charmingly handsome, and the joking smile on his face made Garrick want to smile back. He distantly hears Violet giggle a little, but doesn’t really register the noise. The man was obviously a rider, wearing rider black, but there was no dragon in sight. He wondered if Tairn was so intimidating to the dragon that they chose to wait for their rider somewhere else. 

Violet had gotten to her feet while Garrick had been staring at the man. 

“Thanks for the help. It was good to see you.” Violet says to the man, who simply smiles and waves from his spot on the ground.

“I’m glad you’re not dead, Sorrengail.”

Violet begins the walk back across the flight field, with Tairn at her side. 

“Stuck babysitting, Tavis?” The rider snarks, and he can’t stop himself from replying:

“Well, as you pointed out, Violet’s lack of self preservation is constant, and now affects lives other than her own.” 

“Violet is more capable than any of you give her credit for. You seem to have forgotten what kind of environment she grew up in. She may not have the physical strength that comes from the years of training that she didn’t have, but she can easily manipulate social situations to her advantage. Not to mention her intelligence.” 

“She practically grew up in the archives.”

“She grew up attending events with the highest ranking officials of the kingdom. Violet, though she doesn’t act like it, is an experienced courtier - and she knows how to use those skills to her advantage.” 

He considers this. He supposed that when he had first heard of and met Violet Sorrengail, he hated her for being her mother’s daughter. Then she bonded Tairn, and he saw her as a liability. He only ever looked at her weakness on the mat; he had never really looked for any strengths beyond book smarts. Garrick realizes that he has been silent for a good half a minute, and that the man is simply smirking up at him softly, reading every thought on his face. 

“I always admired her skills. I…was never much for the parties; I avoided them at all costs actually. I am not suited for the battles waged in ballrooms. I think now she wishes she had some of my skills on real battlefields.” He lets out a small chuckle that Garrick wants to hear again, for the rest of his life maybe - Gods he needed to stop . 

“Where is your dragon?” He blurts out, trying to ignore the image of this man in a fitted black suit that his mind had very easily conjured. 

“He is…antisocial. He doesn’t enjoy the company of people or dragons, so he usually remains hidden nearby when I have some kind of meeting.”

“Your dragon is…shy?” 

In all the years he’d been in the rider’s quadrant, he had never heard a rider describe their dragon that way. 

“My dragon has a unique set of skills that allow him to do his job as my dragon remarkably well, without having to bother with the small talk that he hates. In battle, he is not shy at all - outside of it, he simply is more…introverted. If you’d like to continue talking, perhaps you should come sit down. My neck is getting sore from looking up at you.” Garrick warms a bit at the knowledge that the man wants to continue this conversation, and sits down without hesitation across from him in the grass of the flight field, curfew forgotten. 

He talks to the man for hours, about their dragons, the quadrant, what Violet was like growing up (he even gets some stories about Aetos that make him hate the man slightly less), and anything else they can think of. It isn’t until he hears the flapping of wing beats in the sky that he realizes just how long they’ve been talking, and how much trouble he’ll be in if he’s found on the flight field past curfew. 

“I’m fucked.” He murmurs, knowing that there was nothing they could do to avoid being caught. 

“Not quite, actually - like I said, my dragon has a unique set of skills.” The rider replies, and before Garrick can question him further, the man is reaching for him, and as he is pulled flush against his chest as they lie in the grass, he feels a weight settle over the two of them. Garrick flushes, hard . He opens his mouth, but the man slaps his hand over it, shaking his head. Garrick flushes even harder at that, and simply attempts to control the red spreading down his neck. He sees several professors land, and focuses enough to try and listen to what they’re saying. As they walk by, he holds his breath, hoping that they won’t see the two men lying together in the grass - even Xaden couldn’t explain this away if they were caught. They just walk by, quietly talking about challenges planned for the next week. The professors couldn’t see them . 

The second the professors had disappeared into the dark, the weight Garrick felt was lifted off of him, and the man let him go, so Garrick awkwardly pushed himself up into a sitting position, moving to give them both some space. Never mind that he had actually enjoyed the physical contact that he so rarely got in the quadrant. He didn’t usually crave it, but something about this man was comforting, welcoming in a way that no one else ever was. 

“Sorry that I just kind of grabbed you.” The rider speaks softly, like he’s nervous. 

“No, no, it was… ” Perfect, warm, everything I want “...Fine. How did they not see us?” He questions, trying to ignore the thoughts bouncing around in his head.

“My dragon.” The man replies, in a tone that tells Garrick that it is a secret that people aren’t supposed to know - and that he won’t be getting any more information about it tonight. 

“Well, thank you. I really didn’t want to try and explain what I was doing out here.” He says. 

 “What are you doing out here, Tavis?” The rider asks, and Garrick doesn’t have a response. 

“I don’t know. Talking to you.” He lamely answers. 

“You should probably get back, wouldn’t want you to fall off your dragon tomorrow because you’re so tired.” The man jokes, but there is an undercurrent that Garrick can’t quite place there. Garrick doesn’t want to leave yet, wants to talk to the man he finds so interesting - the man who was strong enough to grab him with no trouble, indicating that he might for once have found a real opponent on the mat other than Xaden, who was quick, and smart, and really fucking cute and he was staring at Garrick right now so he should say something .

“Probably. Are you planning on visiting Violet again?” A very forward question, but Garrick is too tired to really notice. 

“If she needs me, I’ll be here. Why? That excited to see me again?” The man teases, and starts to walk Garrick across the flight field. 

They stop at the entrance to the tunnel that will ensure that Garrick doesn’t get caught on his way to his room, and Garrick startles as he realizes that he somehow never asked the rider his name. 

He turns around and calls quietly out to the man who had already started walking away:

“Wait. What’s your name?” The man turns and walks back to him, and he’s close enough for Garrick to realize that the rider has a couple inches on him. The rider leans down, and whispers his first name in Garrick’s ear, like he doesn’t want anyone else to hear it. 

“I’ll come see Violet again in three weeks. Same time and place, if you’d like to see me again.” The man says quietly with an emotion that Garrick can’t quite place - nervousness? Maybe interest? 

“See you then.” He manages to respond, trying to keep his head enough to not make a total fool of himself.

Garrick steps closer to the rider that he already knows he won’t stop thinking about until he sees him again, makes eye contact and sees the small smile on his lips…and pauses. Maybe he misread the situation. What if he just wanted a new friend? He seemed awfully close to Violet. He moves to step back, deciding not to embarrass himself - and feels lips on his, arms wrapping around him lightly to tug him back towards a broad chest. Garrick freezes for a second in shock, before kissing back, mind buzzing giddily. It was over long before Garrick wanted it to be, but he knew he had to go. He liked having this rider in his arms, which was odd considering he was never one for physical contact. He tried not to read into it too much. 

“I’ll see you soon, Garrick. Try not to let Violet die, please.” 

“That is a hell of a lot easier said than done.” 

They both chuckle, and then both turn away, as Garrick walks into the tunnel and hears the rock slide into place behind him. 

He should probably check on Violet, he never saw her get back to her room, but that bone-dead exhaustion was back and worse than ever, and he only had a few hours before he needed to be up for classes, so he deemed her, and the feelings he was having, tomorrow's problems and tumbled into bed. 

[allwormdiet]

Extermination 8.7

In which nobody is happy and everything is pain

Wuh oh, the worst chapter of Taylor's life has just received a series of footnotes that provide further context, and none of them are making her feel any better

And now things are getting even worse

Hey Colin, looks like you've lost some weight, trying something new with the asymmetrical look?

Also I like how even Taylor's paranoid ass is like "no you know what, they didn't need to know Sophia was a superhero for them to fuck me over"

Really copping it up in here, huh you two?

This is bad for everybody. A supervillain who's taken explicit actions against the PRT and Protectorate has discovered the identity of a Ward, and a teenage girl is being surrounded and lambasted by adults who could make her life Hell with very little effort.

God, Birdcage would be nightmarish, especially with Lung in there probably nursing the mother of all grudges

Also, interesting that Taylor changing her mind translates to Armsmaster as her being a master manipulator and spinner of lies. There's no possible way that she stopped trying to be a hero because he acted like a gigantic asshole the second time they met or something.

Skitter has gotten the absolute worse perspective that the heroes can offer, so she's suffering a biased stance here, but even without that her anti-authority streak is way too strong to tolerate it for long

Don't throw a fucking shitfit, Colin

You're an adult, fucking act like one

Yaaaaaaay, the crew's alright and they're backing Skitter up, there's no way this immediately blows up

Grue is making himself look bigger in this moment, scarier, more authoritative. If I'm understanding right that means he's way on the fucking edge about all of this and feeling tense and a little scared.

Glad Regent got out of it with only some stitches, wonder if that cut is anything noteworthy or if he just got gouged by some glass or shrapnel or something

Bitch is handling things about as well as could be expected

Hey Tattletale, glad you're not dead

Oh boy!

Sophia would fucking lunge across the tent and go for the murder attempt then and there, I'm pretty sure

Also, Legend is technically right, insofar as Taylor has made a lot of situations more difficult by digging her heels in

Unfortunately, he would.

Look at her getting her little debut to the Protectorate leader

The greatest asset and weakness of the Protectorate: image

These people are about to get their shit rocked by a teenager with access to a PA system and I'm not convinced they didn't bring this on themselves

Also, love an ultimatum, very heroic

Tattletale you're so cool and real for this

We love an ultimatum, very villainous

Colin, you dumbfuck

I think the most damning part of this conversation is that Miss Militia literally doesn't have any trouble connecting the dots

There's the setup

And there's the knockdown. Armsmaster has once again been outplayed by a teenager, and now the best thing to do is probably to quit while he's behind

So of course he decides to double and triple down

Let's review facts here

Armsmaster is a grown-ass man who is really upset that a pack of teenagers are beating him

He has admitted, out loud, that he broke truce conditions and got villains killed in order to try and get a moment of glory

He knows full well that at least two of the Undersiders have killed before and may kill again if suitably motivated, such as, I don't know, finding out a teammate tried to betray them

So with everything in consideration

he throws a tantrum that could get a girl killed because of wounded pride

This hurts, a lot

Also hey early hint that Tattletale knows what's up

Panacea like "wow this girl is some kind of disaster, thank god my worldview guarantees that I'm way better than her"

Also Jesus fucking Christ what a way to end the chapter

Current Thoughts

God fucking dammit Colin, you could literally get a teenager killed because you had to throw a fucking tantrum over how you got your kill stolen and your super cool plan to win glory and recover lost pride got foiled by the common fucking sense of "you can't kill an Endbringer"

I know that isn't what happens, but hey guess what he doesn't know Taylor's story goes for another twenty-plus chapters, he's willing to roll those dice because his feewings got huwt

I hope they make him choke on whatever book ends up thrown at him for this

[thebreakfastgenie]

@ominous-chanting: second verse of all for leyna

We laid on the beach watching the tide She didn't tell me there were rocks Under the waves, right off the shore Washed up on the sand, barely alive Wishing the undertow would stop How can a man take anymore?

Honestly I don't think I've ever thought too much about the verses in All for Leyna and what the specific lyrics mean. I've always had a clear picture of the song overall--he's a teenage boy pining over this girl who's no longer interested in him--and I was always more sympathetic to Leyna than to the singer because I first heard this song as a 16-year-old girl who was dealing with a boy who was obsessed with me and who I refer to colloquially as my stalker.

Really considering these lyrics now, I think I've undersold them. I always understood the first verse was basically Leyna leading him on and toying with him and then losing interest, but that one's a little more straightforward than this verse imo.

"We laid on the beach watching the tide" is clearly about a romantic moment between them. It may be a literal date on the beach, or maybe a he-wants-it-to-be-a-date-but-she-hasn't-officially-agreed-that-it-is high school situation on the beach, but it doesn't have to be. Considering the rest of the beach lyrics in the verse are metaphorical, I'm inclined to think it's not literal, but I still have image of two teenagers laying on the beach. I think the double usage was probably intentional (and, after all, man grew up on an island where teenagers were always hanging out on the beach). I think "watching the tides" carries a double meaning too. They were probably were laying on the beach watching the ocean, but watching the tides means they were there for a while, suggesting a certain amount of time the singer put into attempting to court Leyna while Leyna remained a bit unreadable. "Watching the tides" can also mean "watching the state of things," suggesting both of them trying to figure each other out.

Rocks right off the shore... I think this is Leyna not telling him she was only in it for a night. So he dives into the waves--shoots his shot with Leyna--and then he hits the rocks of being dumped. She knew she only wanted one night, but didn't tell him. I kind of have the niggling feeling that there's more to that line besides this but I can't think of what else so I'm just going with this for now. I think in general this whole verse suggests Leyna playing mind games with him a little bit, or at least the singer feeling like Leyna is playing mind games. She probably is but I support women's wrongs #TeamLeyna.

"Washed up on the sand, barely alive" is my favorite line in the verse because... I'm a little dramatic, okay, and this is how I think of myself when I'm in various states of misery. I've mentally described myself as "half-dead" when under a lot of stress, I get this on a visceral level. And the imagery of it is perfect, there's something very specific about near-death from rough near-drowning. The shipwreck vibes... drowned rat... the ocean spits him back out on the beach. Honestly Leyna probably had sex with him on the beach and left him there. It's probably a double meaning again. He's so devastated by how this encounter with Leyna ended that he feels barely alive, which is exactly the tone of the rest of his angst.

"Wishing the undertow would stop" adds to it a feeling of being disoriented. What I get from it is when you get caught in an undertow and can't control where you're going and get tossed around and don't know which direction you're facing. That's how Leyna leaving makes him feel. And you know how sometimes when you finally get back onto land after that you're dizzy? That's why he's wishing the undertow would stop after being washed up on the sand. He still feels it and he's like how long will this go on?? How can a man take anymore??

That last line is pretty self-explanatory heartbreak but I really like the choice of the word "man" here. From the first time I heard this song, I could tell it was about a younger person, and I think the tone implies that from the beginning, but the lyrics don't actually confirm that until the third verse when you find out he's still in school and lives at home. So go back to "how can a man take anymore?" and you see this teenage boy referring to himself as a man. I also always think of that phrase as older--not just older as in the age of the man (although I do imagine a grown man saying it) but language from an earlier time. I imagine this kid picked up this phrase and idea of heartbreak (and specifically male heartbreak) from old movies or books he read in English class. He's a kid who's crazy about a girl who hooked up with him but isn't interested in more and he sees himself as a man going through an epic heartbreak. Because emotionally, he is! It's such a great little portrait of teenage angst that writing this had made me more sympathetic to this guy than I've ever been before.

This is an aside and not really part of my lyric analysis because I don't think All for Leyna is autobiographical, but Billy Joel's high school girlfriend broke up with him when she went away for college and he was like "but we've have sex!" and she was like "yeah so?" and he was like "😮." They weren't a one-night stand, they dated steadily for a while, and the breakup was amicable (they're actually still friends) but I can see a bit of their dynamic in this song, the girl who's just kinda chill and mature and the boy who's a hopeless romantic and kind of a disaster.

[possiblylando]

Chainsaw Man Chapter 148 not so early analysis

Bit later than usual cause college and I wanted to look into something from part 1.

Fumiko has been continuing the trend of being absolutely useless in every situation shes ever been put in to the point I feel confident in saying she CANT fight. This clearly isn't a kobeni situation where she can fight if necessary because she hasn't even really been trying to fight or protect anyone. It's the point I've actually started to believe the theory that Fumiko is actually Aldo in disguise.

For a refresher Aldo was one of the american assassin brothers who got picked off at the beginning of the arc by Power and Yoshida respectively. However Aldo survived the entire arc and has been awol ever since. He's also surprisingly durable since he survived both of these attacks with minimal injury.

He may or may not have been hit by halloween, Given his facial expression I it seems like he's faking it especially since Halloween was used on the doll devil and so should logically only effect her dolls which Aldo is not.

I went back through these chapters expecting to find a smoking gun that could prove this to be true. Specifically I was looking for a scene where he or one of the brothers was holding an ID card which could be matched against the way Fumiko holds it, But I did not find that.

This is the best I found but it's also standard practice so it isn't good evidence. Back to the chapter itself, It's clear now Quanxi is just going through the motions

She's clearly been lacking when it comes to combat and athletics in these previous few chapters in comparison to her original appearance. She's been sort of stumbling through these chapters with the help of her regeneration. Which is a bit strange until you keep in mind; Quanxi is more than likely SUPER depressed. The last time we saw her before this was when she fought Denji and the previous time before that was when everyone she cared about got murdered by Makima. It's probable that she blames herself for it because she took the job to kill Denji and thus got her and the girls into the situation that killed them in the first place.

Fuck you looking at bitch do something

The transition between these two pages is so good I had to do a double take because my immediate though was that Quanxi was the one who got her arm cut off. But then obviously it's Asa's. You can feel the inspiration from good movie transitions here.

This whole scene is very cool and also very interesting because Asa is able to block Yoshida's sword with her barehand. She got such an amp from the chainsaw fire attacks that she can do this. It also means she has basically the same base stats as yoru. Which is to be expected but I think is interesting.

It seems like this page was drawn before the rest of the one in this sequence because Yoshida is busting through a wall here despite the fact Room 606 was just destroyed; Thus there should be no wall to bust through to escape onto the street. Interestingly the other personality is absent in this scene entirely. We never see Yoru and Asa in the same panel which is an interesting choice. Its probably a creative choice to only have one of them around in major action scenes. Feels like a good time to mention a theory I saw on twitter. I've been trying to find it but I've had no luck. If I can find it it'll probably be apart of next week's post. To summarize the theory; Asa and Yoru are the same entity. Not two separate beings in one body. Asa the human we met at the beginning of part 2 has been dead since the justice (fire) contract user killed her. The Asa we see now is a split personality reconstructed using the intact memories in the body's brain at the time she became a fiend. If true it means Asa is an alternate persona created by Yoru in order to cause more conflict within herself (constant internal warfare) and as a coping mechanism due to the chainsaw devil massacre in hell. Its an interesting theory I want to put on the board incase something happens with it especially since Yoru is growing in strength rapidly. Probably how Black Pochita was schooling them during it.

[itspkuwu]

EEnE headcanons

Double D is only nice to Kevin sometimes because he doesn’t want him to beat up Eddy. Besides for that one time when Double D thought Eddy deserved it for making him think he had an illness. And because he knows that even Double D can get aggravated with Eddy, Kevin tries to encourage him to pick on the con man with friendly interactions. So it’s kinda sorta like gaslighting. But Double D still doesn’t trust him because he knows this. He cares about Eddy too much. Not to mention that pretty much everyone in the cul de sac is nice to Double D because Double D is nice to them. What goes around comes around. Sarah is a huge example of this, she literally has a crush on him.

Plus I feel like Double D did somewhat feel bad for Eddy getting a beating afterwards. (no i do not ship EddEddy don't ask)

Stuffed Pig’s Head is only a meal Rolf’s people eats when a swine has been put down from old age. They say the inner strength and soul of the dead pig will give those who consume it power to continue on. So it’s considered a tribute to the cycle of life. (And it would explain why Rolf hasn’t eaten Wilfred lol)

Marie does May’s nails.

There’s a big red and purple scar under Double D’s hat. When he was extremely little, probably just a few weeks before reaching 2, his curiosity found him in the middle of a dodgeball game with much older kids who teased him for being bad at the game. Later on, Double D built a machine that would launch dodgeballs like rapid fire. He met those same kids and again and used his invention in the next game. Something went wrong, and he, along with the other kids there were sent to the hospital, leaving him with the scar. His parents were utterly ashamed of his actions. The young genius they were raising had turned out to be a monster. Thus, they thought it was better to move to Peach Creek to try and leave this tragic event in their lives behind. Poor Double D is constantly reminded of the guilt whenever his hat is removed. And his parents, now distant and somewhat afraid of their son, community with him through sticky notes.

And yes, his mother stopped rubbing his feet with oil after the incident.

Ed is neurodivergent autistic.

So is Jonny

Rolf’s mother use to comfort him a lot when he was little, hence why he tends to shout “MAMA!” whenever he’s afraid or in pain.

Jimmy is a demi boy

Kevin and Nazz were considered a thing, but “broke up” cause it just wasn’t working out. Later, Nazz realized she was more in to girls and Kevin thought he’d just be better off single. Plus he was in love with his bike anyway

Blue is a natural hair color

Kevin was Rolf’s first friend he made in the cul-de-sac and was the one who taught The Son of a Shepard (TM) how to play sports.

Nazz is a hippie

Sarah was taught to hate Ed by their parents

Wilfred, Victor, etc are Rolf’s emotional support animals for his ptsd towards the wolf incident he experienced as a kid.

In the actual incident, the “wolf man” tore the baby sheep’s head off with his teeth. Leaving poor Rolf traumatized.

And that’s also why Rolf keeps all the sheep in his “lair”, he wants to protect them.

There’s a program in Peach Creek where the elementary schoolers are allowed to visit the jr high, hence why Jimmy and Sarah are there sometimes despite their young ages.

Speaking of ages

Ed, Edd, n Eddy: 12-13 

Sarah: 7-8 

Jimmy: 6-7 

Jonny 2x4: 11-12 

Nazz: 13-14

Kevin: 13-14 

Rolf: 14-15

May: 11-12

Marie: 12-13

Lee: 13-14

Eddy’s Brother: 23

Plank: Immortal God

Yes, Plank is alive. Magic powers.

that’s all I have for now. Thanks for reading :)

go hug a chicken

[charbeess]

hellooooooo I am here to return the favor with ✨my own questions about your Nya playlist✨

I've already saved it to my own Spotify - it looks like an absolute banger!!! I haven't had a chance for a full listen through, but I have given it a preview and I'm liking what I'm seeing so far. our of pure curiosity, I think the songs I want to know the most about are:

"Decode" by Paramore (I also love a good mid 2000s emo stereotype staple for Nya and I would love to know your rationale here)

"Girl With One Eye" by Florence + The Machine (I've heard this one suggested for a general Skybound reason before but I'd like to know what makes it a Nya song for you)

"Hold Me Like A Grudge" by Fall Out Boy (yes I know I've given this one to Nya on the OSSAS playlist but I'd love your spin on it lmao)

that's all I have for now!!!! I'll have to get around to a full listen sometime but for now: ask fodder!!!!

and so the enabled becomes the enabler!! this is actually very exciting, because you’ve chosen the songs that i have ON REPEAT !! so much to say, this may get long… i won’t keep you left in anticipation, let’s talk about it!

Decode, Paramore: so, already i want to agree with you and say this is the kinda song they’d toss in on those “songs this character would have on their playlist” tropes. i think paramore just fits her general vibe, could totally see her rocking out with hayley williams ( and honestly me too, girl. ) but !! as for the more DEEPER meanings, this song is fun because i’ve always seen it as a double - meaning. skybound, but also dragon’s rising.

for skybound; there’s specific lyrics that I HAVE to mention. think of it when it’s just the two of them, in the lighthouse; nya’s having that talk about her future and wanting her own choice:

“How can I decide what's right?

When you're clouding up my mind

I can't win your losing fight

All the time.”

it’s like she’s fighting her own thoughts, here. like how can she decide what she wants when everyone else is throwing things and plans in her mind and they aren’t her own to make and never were to begin with and she feels almost? defeated? not by actions, but by decision and will of thought. it’s supposed to be her life, so why isn’t she the one making decisions here? why is she losing against what she, herself, wants to decide? why is she being ripped of basic human right to plan her own future?

there’s also the bonus lyric in there of “Nor can I ever own what’s mine,” which is a lovely little tagline for the samurai x suit, and how she was forced to leave that behind for the role of the water ninja.

another little verse lyrics i’d like to add for the extra skybound credits:

“But you think that I can't see

What kind of man that you are

If you're a man at all.”

little bash to nadakhan, if i may. (i’d give any reason to throw songs in there that are a bash to him. staring at one song in specific in her playlist.)

as for this song fitting dragon’s rising, i think this song leans towards how jaya may end up. we, as the audience, know jay’s lost his memory; and from what i’ve watched so far ( without any spoilers because i have NOT watched that yet ) i already sense there’s gonna be a confrontation eventually. they’re building up to it! so, it’s moreso just the chorus verses &. the bridges. “How did we get here? When I used to know you so well?” that kinda fits the dragon’s rising POV of nya. i can’t explain too much because i don’t know what’s gonna happen to them, but i already get a general idea that it’s gonna be upsetting with nya’s vision in s2p1, and jay’s amnesia in general.

decode is super fun for its double meanings and honestly you could probably tear it out for another meaning, but i think this mostly sums up everything for this one!! onto the next choice!

Girl With One Eye, Florence and the Machines: I have also seen it fit under a skybound general reason and that’s!! part of why it’s added, but it’s not Everything. to me, we’re diving straight into nya’s anger and giving into her feminine rage. 

we’re talking early water ninja days feminine rage. i’ve always seen this song in her pov, but it’s her mocking her criticisers?? her haters?? her doubters?? it’s like, maybe to us listeners it’s potentially a liiiittle overexerted but to nya, it’s like putting yourself in her shoes and realising that honestly, she’s grown tired of the way she’s treated. and she’s grown to just stop caring and turn that hatred into general rage and using that to help her push forward. so, essentially it is just her Mocking the way people have treated her. she’s not accepting it, she’s just accepting that this Has happened, but she’s not letting it upset her any further. in fact, they help her channel her rage into her work!

i have no specific lyrics for this one. it is merely just the vibe for it, that fits her. the music being so heavy - on and just constantly gets heavier as the rage builds up and it’s like she’s bottling it all just to release it as pure Rage and honestly, nya deserves to be a little pissed at everything she’s had to deal with. however you could push it and toss the one lyric of “My reputation’s kinda clouded with dirt,” as a way of her seeing how people probably see her to be. remember, this is nya’s POV to how others see her. she doesn’t think that, but with all the labels that’s tossed onto her; they don’t see her as a ninja, this early into it. she’s gotta build a name for herself. could also toss the “I’ll cut your little heart out, because you made me cry,” for the general sense that she’s tired of the lack of empathy she gets whereas the others get the citizen’s full support, they cheer and hype the boys up and then she gets the latter of… well, nothing but questions unrelated to what she wants to be asked. they’d rather Be her then know about her.

in a sense you could say the skybound undertones are the rage, and potentially having that spark when she deals with nadakhan and then being lied to by jay, but overall, it’s just rage. it’s pent up rage in a song. i needed a song that could channel that enough that it literally MEANS “enough is enough.” nya’s had so much rage pent up during skybound, she’s lashing out that entire season (within good reason) and i wanted to give her a song that best demonstrates that rage and if anyone can do it? it’s florence and the machines.

i’m sure there’s other songs i can toss in here that establish that female rage but for right now, this one covers the majority.

Hold Me Like A Grudge, Fall Out Boy: i can’t lie, OSSAS was definitely the reasoning for this song. i heard it from OSSAS first before ever tossing it in here. but after listening to it repeatedly, i did pick out a couple moments from the song that generally fits the themes of skybound that i will definitely ramble about here.

there’s this one specific lyric that always catches my attention when the song plays: “I thought I knew better, I thought it would get better. I figured somehow by now, I would have got it together.” and ohhhh boy do i have much to say about this. because the way this could also be the aftermath of skybound, as well as current events?

it’s definitely an afterthought to me, nya’s procession of it all. i know it’s been so long now, but something like That will never fully leave the mind, no matter how desperate. you can repress it, you can work on it, you can learn to grow from it; but that stuff sticks. even if nya lost her memory temporarily in seabound. i refuse to believe she just Got Over It because, how do you? this was one of her starting points of being a ninja, this is how she was introduced into the role after being forced into it last season; and that’s how she has to remember it? she can’t say her first missions went great because her greatest achievement (destroying the preeminent) led to it’s sister realm being destroyed and bringing nadakhan to ninjago anyways. those lyrics in specific just feel like general trauma response because. you’d think in that time, the saying “time heals all wounds” would start to cave in by now. but it doesn’t. there’s always something that makes her wobble, makes her stumble. which i guess you could say follows my one previous post about nya and jay keeping their wounds even after the timeline’s been reversed.

i also just generally enjoy the “Part-time soulmate, full-time problem” lyric. like, that’s FUN to me. that’s funny, that’s totally something nya would totally feel during that whole fiesto, and how the general title of the song most likely fits her whole capture.

but yeah, to me this is an OSSAS song simply because. i’ve read it so many times i basically have it as my own little concept of what happened behind camera and if you haven’t read OSSAS yet, for the people reading this, i 100% recommend it.

i think this about sums everything up! got all my thoughts tossed onto page and i’m satisfied with my rambles. i hope you have fun listening when you do!! ive had this playlist for just under a year - ish and i’m always adding, editing and messing about with it so you’ll most likely see some new songs pop up, or old songs disappear for whatever reason.

thank you for stopping by and letting me ramble about music and character analysation ! this was actually super fun :3

[idk-i-want-mcl-content]

describing my MCL profile (with @mclmora's template :D)

hi! as you can guess I'm yet again thinking about MCL, as one does, and I thought filling this template could be fun :3 📸 user's profile + favorite outfits

💗 name: ?

💗 b-day: 08/12

💗 zodiac sign(s): Saggitarius Sun, Scorpio Moon.

💗 nationality: Salvadorian.

💗 favorite flirt(s): Lysander, Armin and Nathaniel.

💗 player since: 19/12/2015

🎮 Currently playing → Episode 32: Happy Life, Double Life! (Armin's route); Episode 29: The Love of Art (Lysander's route)

💘 lom meters (US server)

nathaniel, 95%

castiel, -52%

lysander, 95%

armin, 75% (💘)

kentin, 35%

❔answering questions: - which club did you pick? I picked the gardening club, because even though in real life I cannot take care of a plant for the life of me (i've tried) i'm even less... skilled, in sports lol. Don't get me wrong I think both things are fun but it's just not my thing.

headcanon time: My Candy signed up for the gardening club, befriended Jade (and had a crush on him at the start of the year) and because she was more a danger than anything in the garden (shenanigans ensue) , she ended up switching clubs, then became representative of her class (I imagine the high school has a lot of students, she's from a different section than the other characters on the first year.) and that's how she ended up befriending Melody and Nath. In the second year, Jade switches schools :c he was one of her best friends there.

-which is your favorite ep?

oh, don't ask me that :") I'll better give you a list in NO specific order because I really, REALLY can't choose: 17 (bye Debrah), 21 (the play!!!), 23 (nath's house), 31 and 32 (lysander's arc), 33 (iris party) and 40 the finale of course! - which non-datable character you like the most?

Priya wasn't datable in HSL so her lol, also Jade and Dajan are really cool in my mind, even thought they appear in only two episodes for some reason I always include them in my headcanons. Mmm, this is hard lol because I like a lot of characters from different reasons and it's hard to compare them to each other yk. Like, objectively we may feel more inclined to say Rosa or Alexy, but that's because we know them really well. But then there's Iris best girl for example, Leigh is also really nice. And then I have fanon versions of Melody and Karla that, in my mind, make me like them more...

It's tough man, but being honest, probably Amber because yes in HSL she was a BULLY I think, as a character, I really like her, she's compelling to me.

👩🏽‍🎓univerity life: to start

❔answering questions:

-what do you think of the removal of kentin, armin and lysandre?

because I have had a lot of time to reflect on this, and now we have alternative life and everything, I think it doesn't hit me as much as it did when I saw the news the first time. Of course it's still sad, because reading all the amazing headcanons people have for these three LIs for that season really makes me wish they did something different but hey! I think the new routes weren't as bad as people make them to be, because they constantly like to compare the new v.s. the old routes and that's not the point. The point is for people to have fun, and i've seen fanarts, fanfics and blogs dedicated to Hyun, Rayan and Priya :D also, adding Priya as a love interest IN MY OPINION was a really nice choice, a lot of people liked her before and now being able to date her??? queen, just give me the ring.

-which one is your favorite episode?

I haven't played this season myself, but i've watched the playthrough of it on YT (planetsucrette te adoro) and honestly? episode 15 "Emotional Rollercoaster" HAS to be at least in my top three for this season, yes i'm a nathaniel girlie but idk, all the drama and the build up and the illu!!! ugh it's so good, I really enjoyed watching it and I cannot imagine finishing that episode and have to WAIT for the continuation!!! the intrigue!!!

Also Rosa's story reaaally pulled my heart strings, i'm going to be honest with you, and there's a scene where Candy has this memory box and there's a bunch of photos from High School, and there's one with them and Alexy and the way they narrate that part is just- is fantastic, I loved it a lot. I think it's on ep 11.

-is there something you don't like about this season?

uh... well, for the longest time, I didn't even wanted to know what it was about, mainly because my interest remained in HSL and the fact that 2/3 of my boys weren't even there was not motivation, at all. There's nothing at the top of my head that I have to critique in general. Maybe if I gave it a little bit more thought, but eh, not in the mood.

💎 alternate life

lysander: (1st episode)

questions for you ♡

how do you feel about his new design?

i'm in love with his new design, not even going to lie to you. literal heart eyes every time i see him 💗💗💗💗💗

what do you think of his character development?

mmm... i think i said somewhere else in the SEA of post I have rambling about this game lol but, I agree with the sentiment that they could have took a different approach to his story in general. He's still charming, of course, but i'm completely biased in that.

non-datable characters that I love

yes the whole HSL cast. i don't care. they forever will live free in my mind.

general questions ♡

-how did you discover the game?

thanks to a friend who really liked anime :) she was my best friend at the time but I ended up falling in love with the game thanks to roleplaying with two of my best friends in the world + my new bestie because the other one switched schools lol. Now that I think about it, I don't know what her route was xd

Random fact: Those two friends I mentioned? They are both in love with Lysander and are always telling me they are going to steal him from me JAJAJAJA. All of us are head over heels for Armin though. One of them is Kentin's route and Castiel's route (yes, the complete opposites lol) and the other one loves Castiel TO DEATH. Also, my IRL bestie is also Castiel route and uh, quick question: Why does EVERYONE I know love Castiel while the dude literally hates ME? I'm saying like, in every damn account he always manages to be my LOWEST lom. Wanna know why? because I always befriend Nath.

-which one is your favorite special episode (ex: halloween 2011, easter 2012, ect)?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH NOOOOO DON'T DO THIS!!!!! but-

I have fond memories of playing the Valentine's 2018 event, it was the last one :"""") (i think). Why do I remember you ask? Because I did screamed when I saw this illu for the first time:

look at my boys. LOOK AT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-have you played the spin-offs? if yes, which one was your favorite?

sadly no :c i'm short on AP yk, I'm a free to play girlie till the day I die.

💗 the end?

and that's the end :))) If you've read any part of this uh, thank u??? I started writing this tag as a fun silly activity but I ended up getting invested and thinking more about my silly AU. Also, you may have noticed I just call my candy "Candy" and that's not because they don't have names, but the reason is because they are my real names and I don't feel comfortable sharing them online!

I've tried to search for synonyms of my names to use for them, but they just don't feel like me and at the end of the day, My Candy Love is supposed to be played from your perspective and so, yes my candys have different personalities and dynamics with the characters but idk, they are based around me and so giving them other names doesn't really work for me??? it's a matter of preferences I guess.

i'm really fond of this game, but it's a part of me that i only get to talk openly about here on tumblr or with those 2-3 friends, so writing all of this was a sweet experience.

[lordkingsmith]

Welp. So ellipsis is a great writing tool. It lets me save drafts in a sub folder drop thing on the file itself so I can click between them and compare/contrast

And rewriting Sinbound my writing has changed dramatically and improved, I think

Comparisons between draft one and two below

The beginning of draft one:

Do you believe in heaven, young man?”

“I believe in a lot of things, pastor.” Jason smiled at Nikolai as he answered the man. Neither he or Nikolai were human, although only one of them was a formerly heavenly being. 

“Jay here fell from heaven.” Nikolai said, lips quirked up in a half smile as Jason clapped a hand over his heart over dramatically.

“Oh no! The thing I’m sensitive about!” though after eons it still stung, it was better to joke about it than live bemoaning the fact he’d been cast to earth. Carnal delights were still utterly delightful, more so because it was a figurative fuck you to the parental being who’d kicked him out in the first place. 

The pastor didn’t look particularly amused by the ‘joke’ and Jason laughed. “Look man, we’re just walking, you’re the one offering cocoa and salvation by the sidewalk. You talked to us first.” 

The young adults beside him passing out the cocoa were trying very hard to avoid eye contact as their pastor metaphorically puffed his feathers. “It states in the good book-”

Jason held up a hand. “That particular line back in your savior’s time probably meant pedophilia. Which yes. Don’t fuck children. Jesus had some good points and that one’s up there.” He’d heard this often enough over the years. He’d watched those words morph too. Nikolai slipped an arm around his waist, steadying him and keeping him from losing his temper.

“Besides, Jay and I aren’t dating. I’ve got a boyfriend, yes. Jay’s just…” Nikolai paused and glanced at him, double checking the current story. “An ally. Which you should be, since god is love and all that.” Jason watched the smirk play at Nik’s lips. Said something, when an incubus and fallen angel was the better ally in this age. The pastor didn’t look pleased with any of that news. Perfect! He could swallow lead for all Jason cared. 

One of the girls offered a pamphlet and cocoa, wide eyed, and Jason couldn’t decide if she was scandalized or trying not to laugh at the pastor beside her. Or both. Both was always a possibility. Nikolai took the pamphlet, Jason nabbed the cocoa. 

“Have a nice evening.” Nikolai chirped, arm still around Jason’s waist. Jason slung his arm around Nikolai’s shoulders as they continued walking. He wasn’t going to put his hand on the back that wasn’t there, Nikolai’s hollow was always a source of unease for others, but Jason had long gotten used to alternate places to put his hands and arms in ways that looked natural. 

The beginning of draft two:

Rain drizzled down into the grimy streets. Dove grey clouds fought for relevance among the smog. Two figures a careful distance apart walked in the grime of the morning under the droning glow of neon opulence that couldn't wash out the clutter of the poor among its lowest streets. One of the figures pulled their trilby down lower over their face, the brim weeping condensation with an almost weary air. The other held their umbrella firmly in deceptively delicate fingers. His eyes on the back of the one in the trilby. "Kolya." He called very softly, amused. The one in the hat didn't respond, and acted as though he hadn't heard to begin with, continuing to walk doggedly in the misery of the morning. "min kjære" was called instead, with slightly more authority.

"Hush." The other said, despite himself. He sighed as his companion smirked behind him. Habit had won over practicality. He stopped to half turn and wait on his friend, allowing the other to catch up. "What, Jason?"

"May we admit defeat and use the subways now?" Was politely asked with contrite smiles and hand waves. "It's cold and wet. I don't want to look bad for your…" a discreet little pause, just in case they weren't as alone as they assumed. "Dear friend."

"Hush" was said again.

"Nikolai." The amusement was gone. "You may enjoy the rain, but I do not. I said I was sorry."

"You don't have to follow me." It was a gentle admonishment. "And I wasn't angry. The apology was unwarranted." Though the tone indicated it was, indeed, very warranted. "Go your own way. You know where we're going."

"I would rather not go alone. Nor would I enjoy the thought anything happen if you were alone."

"Then walk with me." The tone had gone playful. "Looks aren't everything."

"Bah." An annoyed stamped foot, a turn of the head, but when Nikolai began walking once more, Jason followed.

They'd been taking the subway in the beginning, amicably though with space between them. It was too far to walk, realistically. And the subway allowed the two to be around people without drawing attention to themselves. Not that Nikolai needed that, per se. He did it for Jason, who did.

Since the High Holy Order had decreed that any unmarried person-man, woman or, though they denied, otherwise-having too close relations in public was bordering on grossly obscene and therefore deeply sacrilegious, people mostly soldiered on. Miserable and trying their best. Men careful on one side of the subway cars, women equally so on the other. Do not touch, do not smile, do not seek unwanted attention.

The only exceptions to the rule were the little Saintly Samaritans. A group of children and young adults and usually shepherded around by pastors. Offering warm drinks, acts of service and the good Word of their Risen God. A group of them stepped into the train during one of the stops and in front of Jason and Nikolai. A young girl possibly no older than twelve or thirteen held a tray of warm drinks. A priest beside her and her friends reading quite loudly passages from the worn leather book in his hand. Jason shifted forward ever so slightly. Nikolai pressed his hand over Jason's for a fleeting moment.

"Don't do it." He said, too low for any human to hear. "Don't you dare." Jason's eyes were glued to the oldest two aside from the priest in the group. He could glean what they were. Siblings, repressed. Young woman in her twenties wanted to be ravaged in a night of passion before her marriage to a man twice her age. Brother held a deep and self ashamed attraction to every man on the train, and some of the women too. They were the older siblings of the little one holding the drinks. Their responsibilities to her shielded them from their own desires. Jason's tongue had slipped between his lips as he wet them, tasting the desire of the oldest siblings.

Tasting their lust.

Nikolai sighed. Fond yet exasperated.

[permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88]

Old Town Road | Halbrand/OC (part 7)

Summary: It was supposed to be a simple arrangement. Give up her freedom, and save her family home. The ultimatum was one Tilda had grown to accept, given that she could stay as far from her would-be captor's presence as she wished. But when chance forces her into closer proximity with the man known as Halbrand, she will find that her patience is not the only thing being tested. Particularly when what he seems to desire most, now, is her heart. (Yellowstone-ish AU).

Warnings: alternate universe, original character(s), house fire, death of a parent, burn scars, toxic relationship, Stockholm syndrome, angst, allusion to smut, unrequited love, enemies to lovers.

Other: Please let me know if you would like to be added to a tag-list! dividers by @zaldritzosrose

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six

"You know them?"

The question is not one that Arlo welcomes, because even in the post-vodka-and-gin haze that has him seeing double, he can recognize the barely restrained curiosity that hides behind it. His companion may try to disguise it, but it is there for anyone with even the slightest bit of experience keeping secrets to see, plain as day.

Some small part of him wonders if his acknowledgment of his daughter's friends in the parking lot was a foolish thing. Something that will only earn them more than their fair share of scrutiny from a man he wishes he had never come to know. But the man had once intervened when Arlo had believed he was soon to be dead, the hired thugs sent after him to collect a debt that was closing in on all sides dispersing rather quickly, after just a look, and a few murmured threats that did not bear repeating.

Though he cannot exactly say that he is happy about the arrangement that exists between them, now, he also knows that, without it, he would very likely have ended up dead.

"Arlo—"

"My girl. Lucy, she—she knows them," The older man admits, scratching at the back of his ear in a poor attempt to dispel the sudden wave of uneasiness—of bone chilling dread—that sweeps over him before he can stop it, "Been friends with the girl since the two of 'em were in diapers."

"Tilda," The other man murmurs, the way he says her name causing Arlo's stomach to twist in a way that he cannot fully explain, "Of course."

"How d'you know her name?"

"How I know it is not your concern."

An unspoken warning rests behind the words. One that chills the blood in Arlo's veins, forcing him to avert his gaze as the man steps closer, and casts a cursory glance at the interior of his home. It would be a lie for him to pretend he hadn't wanted to simply be dropped at the door, but the man now standing beside him had yet to care about what he wanted, in the limited time he's known him.

Watching as the man's lip curls for a moment in something not all that far from a derisive sneer, Arlo can feel his jaw beginning to tighten until he fears bone might crack. Whether or not he knew his home might be considered lacking, by most standards, to have it so heavily scrutinized by a man who is still practically a stranger stings his pride, to say the least.

It isn't until the man asks his next question that Arlo feels a sliver of fear forcing its way through the anger, like the sprout of a particularly determined weed breaking through cracks in concrete, only to firmly entrench itself around his heart.

Firmly enough to deliver a squeeze.

"Where is your daughter now, Arlo?"

The answer to that question is not one that Arlo is entirely willing to give.

He knows that he has little other choice, of course. Despite hardly knowing the man standing nearby, it would be a lie to pretend he is anything less than a person who possesses a knack for getting what he wants. Information. Leverage. Supplies, funds, hell, probably even women, the thought of it provoking a bitter scoff whether or not Arlo knows it is hardly wise.

It is that final thought, combined with the unexpected fervency of his apparent desire to know where Lucy is that has the older man's teeth grinding together before he utters his grudging reply.

"Hospital, most likely."

"With them?"

"Don't rightly know. Not my place to keep track of kids that ain't my own."

"What other reason would your daughter have to be there?" The man persists, something dark resting behind the words, a poorly veiled threat that Arlo would be a fool to ignore.

Perhaps it is only the lingering effects of the booze he'd downed at the bar making him bolder, but he ignores it, anyway.

"Beats me."

"I believe you're lying, Arlo."

"Why the hell d'you wanna know, anyway, hmm?"

It takes only seconds for Arlo to find himself pushed backward until he feels his back slam against the wall, the breath driving from his lungs in a startled rush while one of the hands that had shoved him tightens around his throat. Only seconds for him to emit a strangled wheeze as he struggles to draw another breath into painfully burning lungs.

All trace of whatever practiced level of disinterest the man holding him pinned had employed before is all but vanished from his expression, now. The two of them exist, frozen in place, for a moment, as though time has simply ground to a halt.

By the time Arlo is released to drop to his knees, choking for air, his companion's expression has once again returned to what it was, before. A look of careful, and cautious restraint, any hint of his former fury removed.

A shiver rolls through Arlo's frame as he realizes the man is once again moving closer. Stooping, and effectively drawing his attention without ever saying a word. Dark eyes hold his own as his companion observes him for a moment, taking in the obvious tremor in the arms that hold him upright, chest heaving with the effort required to keep drawing breath.

The man holds his gaze for only a moment longer, before he extends a hand, the effort to straighten Arlo's collar jarring, when compared to the force with which he had been attacked mere moments before. And when he finally speaks, his tone low enough that Arlo has to strain to hear, it still does little to mask the very real threat that lurks behind the words.

"You will provide the information and services I ask for without question, Arlo," He begins, shifting to stand to his full height once more, so that Arlo is forced to crane his neck backward to peer up at him from his place on the ground.

"And if you wish for your daughter to remain ignorant of our arrangement you will continue to do so without complaint."

"So how did you know we would be here?"

The question is one that Lucy expects. It is one she might have asked herself, if she had been in Tilda's shoes, but that realization does little to waylay the small swoop of apprehension that she can feel sinking from her stomach, down to her toes. She did not want to have to tell her friend about the gossip that is already spreading. Gossip she'd only picked up because she'd spent the better part of her nights, lately, serving cheap, grease-laden food to patrons of the bar her father owed money to.

It had been what alerted her to Tilda's return, and the fire—Freida's death—all of it at once, and after Lucy had pushed past the shock and horror that lent itself to the stack of plates she'd been holding crashing to the floor to shatter into pieces, she had known.

She'd known there was no other choice but to go to the hospital herself.

Still, the idea of owning up to all of that, true though it may be, is enough to leave a sour taste in Lucy's mouth. It is enough to have her heart giving a funny little lurch inside of her chest as she realizes that all eyes are now firmly fixed upon her.

Biting down on her lower lip, she drags in what she hopes will be a sufficiently steadying breath, her fingers twisting together in front of her without her conscious awareness. And although she is still poignantly aware of the anxious buzzing that seems to thread its way along every nerve ending she possesses, she forces herself to finally attempt a reply.

"I picked up a few shifts at the bar this week, is all. People—people were talking about it. What—what happened, I mean."

"You work at the bar?"

"When—when I'm not working at the bookstore, yeah."

Tilda's frown in response to the admission is not something Lucy had expected to see, at least not as far as it pertains to what they are discussing at present. She hadn't honestly expected her friend to catch on to the slight edge of embarrassment that she clearly hadn't been capable of keeping from her reply.

Heaven only knew her friend had enough on her plate already. Too much to be worrying about the financial hardships of people like her, and yet Lucy can see the concern in Tilda's expression as clear as day.

Just as she can all but predict the words her friend intends to say, next.

"You know if you need any help, you can always ask, Lu."

"We're fine, Tilda. I promise. It's just for—for a little extra cash."

"Think you'd consider givin' me a loan?"

The comment is offhand. Spoken with an edge of humor to it that Lucy is all too familiar with, and although she is well aware that it hardly seems to dissuade Tilda's apparent concern, she is more than a little grateful for the familiar feel of Bain's arm winding around her shoulders to draw her close. She is grateful for how easy it seems for him to lend an air of casual banter to what had been a rather obvious attempt at lightening the mood.

"Whattya say, Luce? For old time's sake?"

"I'll consider it."

"That's my girl."

Flushing again, Lucy ducks her head down for just long enough to gather her wits, the slight squeeze Bain gives her shoulders hardly helping in that regard, whether she cares to admit to it or not. A small part of her knows she should be accustomed to this behavior. The knowledge that her friend's brother has always been something of a pathological flirt is hardly anything new.

Still, she is grateful for his intervention, even if he had not truly intended it as such, because it had allowed her some manner of a diversion for any continued questioning of her circumstances on Tilda's end, the sudden presence of another person standing at the hospital room's door granting her a reprieve that has the potential to be far more permanent than she knows she deserves.

"So the cafeteria was about to close, but I still found us something to—oh, hey Lu."

"Hi, Isil."

"I didn't know you were here, or I'd have grabbed something for you, too."

"It's okay, I'm—I'm not really all that hungry," Lucy assures, already knowing that her words will not be believed, even before she takes note of Isildur's skeptical expression that comes about, in response, "Really. But the three of you should—you should go eat. I can—I can stay here."

"All of you should go. Get some air. Some light."

Startled by the unexpected advice, given that, to her, at least, Adar had seemed far more content to simply observe the conversation unfolding before him, Lucy is not blind to how Tilda almost immediately seems to tense. How everything about her friend's demeanor seems to go taut, as though she is terrified to leave her father, for fear of something happening while she is away.

She can understand the feeling, perhaps better than most. In truth, she knows precisely what it feels like to have a parent hovering so near to the reality of being lost, forever.

Spending countless nights lying in her bed, half-awake, terrified to succumb to sleep fully, for fear of her father's habits costing him his life while she was unable to attempt to save him gives her every reason to believe she knows the myriad of reasons why Tilda appears so unwilling to leave. And as she watches her friend draw nearer to her father's bedside while he reaches for her hand to give what is likely meant to be a reassuring squeeze, Lucy finds herself certain of only one conclusion.

She would have given anything she had to ensure her friend never had to experience this pain.

"Go, Tilda. I will be right here waiting when you return."

Aware that Tilda still seems more than a little reluctant, even with her father's words of encouragement, Lucy moves forward almost without thinking, her hand reaching for and seizing her friend's before she has a chance to even consider pulling away. Having been in this position as many times as she has, she knows, somehow, that Tilda will never consent to actually leaving unless someone else gets her started on that path.

Though Lucy can still sense her friend's reluctance, she does seem to come willingly, at least for the time being. And as Isildur falls in on Tilda's other side, with Bain following along behind them, Lucy spares one final glance for the man who had been the closest thing to a true father to her for as long as she could recall.

He does not watch their united retreat for long, but even still, she cannot miss the look of gratitude that he grants her for her willingness to persuade Tilda to depart at all.

It is a gratitude she is not entirely certain that she deserves.

The longer their little group remains outside, seated on one of the picnic tables just outside of the hospital's small cafeteria, the more Isildur is starting to realize that Tilda is not truly with them.

She participates in their conversation, of course, smiling occasionally, or offering an attempt at a witty remark, but none of the humor that she clearly grasps for ever once makes its way to her eyes.

Something is troubling her. Something far more than just the current state of her father's health, or grief over her mother, but he knows that, should he attempt to question her, he will only be met with evasive answers, if not outright lies.

It bothers him. There is no other way to describe it, even knowing that what her family is going through, at present, is hardly something that could be deemed easy. But even then, there is something different about her behavior now. Different from the distraction, guilt, and grief that he knows have been her constant companions ever since the night of the fire.

He'd noticed it almost as soon as they had left the precinct, but hadn't been able to even attempt to place its source, and that is a thing that discourages him, far more than he truly cares to admit.

How can he possibly be of any use to her at all, if she will not let him in?

"You help her by being there. And by letting her process things alone, as well."

Unbidden, the words his father had offered what feels like ages ago, now, rise to the forefront of his mind, provoking an almost bitter sting that twists and coils its way around his heart. Of course, he knows, at least on the surface, that they are not entirely wrong. That pushing Tilda, or anyone in her situation, for that matter, to full disclosure when they were not ready would only do more harm than good.

Still, the idea of letting her remain isolated in her grief, and whatever else it is that plagues her hardly sits well with him. A sentiment that is clearly echoed by more than just him, if the concern that rests behind Lucy's carefully guarded expression is any sort of indication at all.

"It really wouldn't be any trouble at all."

"What wouldn't be any trouble?" Isildur asks, suddenly aware that he has missed a part of the conversation while distracted by his own inner musings. Biting her lip, Lucy looks his way for a moment, her sudden apprehension very clearly indicative of how she seems to believe she might have done something wrong. But it is the look on Tilda's face—one of something not all that far from horror—that reels him in.

"What? What is it?"

"Lucy offered to—she offered to see if her boss would let us have Mom's funeral at—at the bar."

"Well that's a good thing, right? Can hardly hurt to have that taken off your plate."

As soon as he says the words, Isildur can sense that they are hardly what Tilda is hoping to hear. That they only increase the potency of the horror-stricken expression she wears, rather than relieving it.

Again, he looks back to Lucy, hoping to glean something from her as to how all of this appears to have gone so very wrong. But before she can make any attempt at responding to his questioning gaze, Tilda diverts his attention once more.

"I hadn't—until she mentioned it, I hadn't thought of the funeral at all."

Comprehension dawns, then, as soon as he hears the slight breaking of Tilda's composure where it rests beneath the words. The confession, such as it is, that clearly pains her. That she clearly takes the blame for, though, given the circumstances, it is hardly a surprise, at least to him, that such a thing could have slipped through the cracks.

Between a near constant presence at her father's side at the hospital, the need to see the ashes of what had been her home, and enduring questions from two detectives, however well-meaning they might have been, any one of those things would have been enough to have anyone losing track of things that still need to be done. Add to that her brother's recent arrest, and Isildur is honestly surprised that Tilda is still standing.

She does not appear to view it that way, however, given the sheen of tears he can see brimming in her eyes. And when she moves to stand so quickly that she nearly knocks over the drink she'd been sipping mere moments before, her words are so hushed that Isildur has to strain to even begin to hear them.

"I'm sorry, I—I need a minute to—I have to go."

Momentarily at a loss for what to do in the wake of Tilda's abrupt departure, Isildur remains frozen in place, his determination to follow after his friend at odds with the clear warning his father had given him about pushing her too far, too fast. About wanting to help her to heal before she is ready.

It would be a lie for him to pretend that he does not hate this. That the inability to say or do the right thing to make the pain that is nearly palpable in the air that surrounds them go away is not driving him mad. But the dejected look Lucy wears as she seems to curl in on herself, her shoulders slumping while her fingers knot together in her lap seems to be all the push he needs to move forward, regardless.

"I didn't mean to—I was only trying to help."

"We know you were, Lu," Bain assures, already scooting a bit closer toward Lucy, whatever anger had fueled him into an arrest the night before, and his subsequent attitude at the precinct when they had arrived to get him out, for the moment at least, forgotten, "Til's just—she knows damn well you didn't mean anything by it."

"You're—you're sure?"

"Hell, if I can figure it out, Til probably already has, it just hasn't caught up with her yet."

The realization that Bain does, in fact, appear to have things under control, at least for the time-being, seems to settle Isildur's hesitation over leaving Lucy alone with him for long enough to seek out Tilda's whereabouts on his own. It allows him to stand, the look he shares with Bain indicating that his intentions are clear, even if he has not made a move to speak them out loud.

Already moving, even before he is certain that the nod Bain provides is truly meant for him, Isildur is still hardly sure that he is choosing the correct path. He still cannot fully believe anything other than that, despite his best intentions, he will only end up making everything that much worse.

Even so, he persists in moving forward. He can do little else, when the idea of remaining still is enough to drive him insane.

An instinct that he cannot fully explain guides him as he leaves the picnic table behind him, and re-enters the doors beside the cafeteria. As he traverses the hall that moves alongside that room, until it dumps out into the main thoroughfare of the hospital, beyond.

Although he has little reason to believe he will actually find Tilda where this unseen sense appears to be guiding him, it is more than a little apparent he will be powerless to do anything other than following along. And even if he still hardly has a clue how to help her, it does not make him any less determined to try.

After all of the times Tilda had remained steadfast at his side, Isildur knows he owes her absolutely nothing less than to attempt to do the same.

Tilda is not certain exactly what led her to the small chapel that rests at the opposite end of the hospital from the cafeteria. She is not sure what, exactly, it is that she is hoping to find.

Partly out of a desire for space, and partly because she could no longer trust herself to be rational—steady—in the face of everything going on, her feet had carried her away from her friends, while her mind remained in chaos. She honestly could not say how she made it here, at all, without at least one collision, but if there had been one, she certainly cannot recall.

It isn't until she is finally able to come out of her own inner turmoil to notice the slightly dimmer lighting—the faint smell of candles burning—that she fully realizes exactly where she stands. That she has reached her destination, even if she was not fully aware of it, at the start.

She had not set foot in a church in who knew how long, a fact for which her mother had always gently chided her every chance she had, but something about the reality of her presence in one now throws her off-kilter. It fills her with something that is born of equal parts relief, combined with apprehension.

Unsure what to do, Tilda settles for moving slowly toward one of the pews until she can perch upon its edge, her shoulders curving forward, as though they suddenly bear the weight of the world. And even if a part of her knows it is foolish, she is forced to come to terms with the fact that she has never felt so alone.

She knows, of course, that Lucy hadn't meant to point out any sort of mistake when she brought up holding the funeral for her mother at the bar. She knows that, because even if a call-out for her own forgetfulness had been in the cards, her friend would hardly be the one to make it.

Always far more conscious of the needs and feelings of others than she necessarily had to be, Lucy Tanner would be the very last person to say or do anything other than from a place of good intent.

Which of course makes the reality of Tilda's reaction to her friend's words all the more damning.

She knows that she should go back. She should find Lucy, regardless of the twinge of fear that snakes its way up her spine at the thought of facing anyone, and make sure that her friend knows she understands the reasons behind what she said.

The thought of actually doing so is near to paralyzing, however, forcing Tilda to remain precisely where she is, whether she truly wishes to or not. And it is not until she hears the soft creak of the chapel door on its hinges, followed by soft footsteps on the carpeting, that she is capable of forcing herself to move at all.

"Hey Tillie."

Scooting over so that her friend can sit beside her, Tilda cannot quite bring herself to look him in the eye. She can't, despite the inherent comfort that the warmth of his presence provides.

Even when she feels his fingers threading through her own, she cannot avert her gaze from where her free hand still rests, palm against her thigh. Something Isildur seems to sense, the gentle squeeze he delivers to her hand a gesture of understanding that she knows she cannot possibly have earned.

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't—I really don't know."

The admission is enough to nearly break her. The realization hits, full-force, in the center of her chest again and again, until it succeeds in driving the air from her lungs.

No matter how fiercely she might have wanted to maintain at least some level of composure—some level of control over her own emotions, regardless of how frequently they'd broken through her attempts at such a thing, already—it is as though the single statement she'd uttered is tearing all hope of doing such a thing away from her in seconds.

All that she can do, now, is try to hold onto something steady before enduring the oncoming storm.

"I don't—I don't know what to do."

The second time she says the words, they come with the onslaught of tears that she can no longer restrain. Her voice cracks mid-sentence, and before she knows it, she is curling against Isildur's side, his arm going around her shoulders to provide whatever small modicum of comfort he can.

Tilda hates herself for breaking down like this. For being so weak as to give Isildur the impression that he has to see to her needs, when surely he must have needs of his own. When he must be grieving the loss of a home—the upheaval he's experiencing—every bit as much as she is, herself. She makes a last-ditch effort to pull away, in response to the thought. To scrabble for control over herself, even knowing the battle is already lost, but to her surprise, Isildur's hold on her only tightens.

Doing what she can to blink away her tears enough to be able to look at him—to really look—she is surprised to find that Isildur is not regarding her with any sort of judgment at all, whether or not she truly believes he should be.

It is that lack of judgment, combined with his reassurance, that loosens the very last bit of the barrier she has so hastily erected to keep the intensity of her emotions at bay.

"You don't have to know what to do right now, Til. You don't. Just—just let someone take care of you, even if it's—even if it's not me, okay?"

Knowing that it would be a lie to pretend she is not aware of what the words cost him, Tilda still cannot think of anything to say in response. She cannot possibly come up with anything that would properly express her gratitude, or how fervently she might wish that he did not feel the need to tend to her at all.

Even if some small part of her rebels against it, Tilda finds that she is far too weak to resist the urge to curl into Isildur once again. To allow him to pull her closer until she can feel the fabric of his shirt against her cheek. Until she feels the slight weight of his chin resting against her hair.

Still not entirely sure she is comfortable with her apparent vulnerability, Tilda is also poignantly aware that there appears to be little she can do to stop it, or reel it in. There is little else she can do save for remaining as she is, and resolving in the back of her mind to pay Isildur back for this as soon as she possibly can.

There, in the chapel, the two of them remain in silence until even after the last of her tears have dried upon her face, and although Tilda knows that absolutely none of it will heal her father, or bring her mother back, she does know one thing. One thing she cannot possibly deny, even if the depth of her grief and guilt try to persuade her otherwise.

Just the reality of his presence, alone, is enough to get her through the here and now, however painful it might be.

It is enough, even if it is far more than she feels she deserves.

[rom-e-o]

The REverse pulling a parallel story from the timeline I've always had of Bess and Wolf being de facto-guardians of a baby for a while. In the og timeline, Bess is approached by a somewhat rattled-looking young mother at the market and asked if she could hold her child a moment while she runs to "take care of something". Of course, Bess obliges. Minutes pass. Bess starts to worry. Then an hour goes by and Bess begins to search for the mother only to discover she's vanished. The police get involved but the babe won't settle for anyone but Bess, so it's decided she and Scrooge will take in the child as the investigation is carried out.

Eventually it's discovered the baby's mother is a young widow with an abusive family who intends to sell her child and then marry her off to the old man they originally promised her hand to before she eloped with her true love. She disappeared to avoid the betrothal and left the baby with the couple that's proclaimed to be one of the richest and kindest of couples in London, probably hoping they would use their influence to protect her child or, perhaps, even take up the offer to buy her child from her family. Her instincts were right to suppose the Scrooges would use their influence to keep the child from her family's grasp, because Bess and Ebenezer absolutely do not surrender that baby back to the family, and take the child as their own until the mother eventually turns up again.

Now, how could we translate this to the REverse aesthetic?

Ohhh, this is a fascinating ask!

First of all, that poor mama. She was in a terrible situation, and made the choice to give a baby a fighting chance. Leave it with people who can care for them. It's not an easy choice, but it's better than the alternative. She can't giver her baby a good life, but she can give her baby a good life with another family. ;;

OHHH, okay, now translating that into the REverse.

We kind of see that happen with Sherry, a bit. Her mother has gone mad and her father is a mutated monster, so Claire and Leon pretty much adopt her! So, it's not an uncommon scenario, haha. It's one that feels right at-home, actually.

So, for translating the scenario into the REverse, I imagine that perhaps Bess is on the ground somewhere. Maybe after Umbrella has looped her in as a double agent. When there's the aroma of a new virus in the air, they send her in. She's survived Raccoon City, after all. Girl knows her way around an outbreak more than some of the other greenhorns that would basically be clay pigeons amidst the zombies.

Bess is scoping the scene and helping evacuate some survivors from an encampment. Some people are showing symptoms, and intervention is essential.

Perhaps this is where Bess meets the young mother? She goes to Bess and says, "I can't leave yet - my family is here! Please, take my baby. I'll follow shortly."

Bess, of course, would take the child. There's not a choice.

Does the young woman get out? Probably, but once that helicopter lands, she splits. She's got some plans to enact before she comes back for her baby, and has to move fast. She will follow shortly - it just might take more than one helicopter ride's length of time.

Bess is left with this child, and even worse, a child that might be infected, and she doesn't know with which variant.

I can see her rushing the baby to the medical unit at the Umbrella base. As soon as Wold hears Bess has returned, he goes to meet her. I'm not sure where in their relationship they would be at this point (they definitely don't have a great start in this universe, thanks to the Twins literally investing in a world-ending initiative before they knew better) but he does feel an obligation to see her safe. She's cleaning up his dirty work, in a way. He may start off squashing his feelings, but the attraction is there.

If they're a couple, I see him running to meet her. Fine suit and proper attire and all, and he runs and hugs her. He's surprised to see her in the med bay, as she appears fine, praise be. Then, she mentions the baby that's currently being monitored in the newborn unit.

"The mother left her with me."

"She ... gods, I can't imagine."

"What can we do? The poor thing can't stay in the med bay. We're already overflowing with the latest group of survivors, and that includes infants. We can't--"

"We have plenty of space."

"No, we don't--"

"In our apartments," Wolf clarifies. "They can stay with us."

And he leans into it. The first nights require some makeshift arrangements like making a pillow-wreathed bed on the floor so the baby can sleep safely. Maybe they both sleep on either side of her, staying up talking to pass some of the time.

As the time goes on, they get diapers, formula, some toys. Maybe they even take a night off to go baby shopping. Together. Picking out onesies and tiny pairs of socks, all while the baby gurgles in Bess' arms.

When there are mission, Wolf brings the baby to meetings. He gets a little play area to go in his office so that the baby can always be in his sight.

I'm sure others at Umbrella roll their eyes at how seriously they take the responsibility, but they can't deny ... they make a pretty damn good team. ;; <3

[banemmanan]

GFU Stats #2

Some fun statistics from the TV show The Girl from U.N.C.L.E.

This is a revised, updated, more accurate version of this post.

This post is based on a series of posts by @commander-kiranerys where they compiled similar data for the series The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (e.g. Season 3). All but one of the data categories that I collected can be found in those original posts along with some more that I didn't count.

Explanation #1: why the recount?

As mentioned in my original post, I counted that first set of statistics in just three days. How do you fit roughly ten epispdes into a day? Well, truth be told, I watched them at double speed. I had a whole bunch of assignments due at the time, but this idea had lodged itself into my brain and I had no self-control, so I did it as quickly as I could in order that I could focus on my uni work again. This time, everything was watched at regular speed and I will admit that there was a lot that I missed the first time around. After I watched it through the first time and recorded data, I then watched it through a second time, this time with my sister as an impartial second opinion, and we both recorded separate data. The results are an average of these three data sets and thus I feel that they are much more reliable this time around.

Explanation #2: what's 'S' and 'F'?

For the categories 'Escape' and 'Rescue' the S in brackets stands for Successful and the F for Failed. Escaping entails getting free under their own power and if someone not in the 'captured' scenario got them out then it was a rescue.

Disclaimer #1: objectivity of results

If comparing these results to the muncle stats, bear in mind that they have been compiled by two different people. We might have different ideas as to what qualifies as 'being captured' or 'an escape attempt', etc.

Disclaimer #2: additional data

Due to Mark Slate not appearing in the third episode (instead appearing in the Man from U.N.C.L.E. episode of that week), data was gathered for him from that episode (the Galatea Affair) instead. Thus, all results could still be divided by 29 in order to establish the average per episode. I do not know if commander-kiranerys did the same for Napoleon with regards to season 3. I did not record any data from the MFU episode, the Moonglow Affair.

Observations:

Captured: April seems to be a bit of a damsel in distress here when you look at the numbers, but in fairness to her, she manages to escape on her own slightly more often than she needs rescuing. Considering also that Mark gets himself captured 20 times over the season; he's not exactly got a stellar track record either. Though more than once per episode for April is pretty disappointing and I think probably reflects the attitudes of the time. You may notice that the escape/rescue number for together is higher than the capture together number. This is due to instances where they have been captured individually, but then brought together in captivity and thus are together when they escape.

Arrested: I included this one only because I find it very funny when they get arrested by the regular law enforcement rather than by THRUSH and then have to sheepishly call Mr. Waverly and ask to be bailed out... I did not count these instances as them being 'captured' though, as I feel that requires malicious intent rather than a will to uphold the law.

Knocked out: bashed on the head, tranquilized, and one instance of fainting (surprisingly that wasn't April). Mark alone surpasses even the highest of Napoleon and Illya's combined totals! Suffice it to say, these two probably have near constant concussions (and that honestly explains a lot).

Restrained/chained/tied up: again, April features here significantly more than Mark does. The ratio is pretty consistent with being captured, though. 'Restrained' is just a combination of the chained/tied up categories as that is how I had initially understood commander-kiranerys to have comiled it (I'm less sure about that now though). Retrospectively I think I should have used it as an 'other' category to mean anything not done using rope or chains e.g. leather straps or being physically held (or in one instance a plant). Either way, what I find interesting in these results is that April and Mark were never tied together at any point (though there is a promotional photo that features this).

Tortured: interestingly very even here, despite the writers' clear reluctance to let April get roughed up (unless by another woman). But then again, I think deciding what is and isn't torture might be quite subjective (which is why I left it out the first time around). There were actually a number of instances that were a grey area for me and I wonder now if I should have included them; I erred on the side of caution and actually these figures might be higher if I'm fully honest. It's too late for doubting now though I guess. Feel free to debate!

Drugged: the vast majority of these are knock-out gas/chloroform/sleep darts/etc. so these results overlap a lot with the 'knocked out' category, though there are a couple of instances of drugs with other effects on the body.

Shot: April was never shot in the entire series (very lucky! but also maybe very indicative of the show writing of the time - she can be in peril, but heaven forbid that she's roughed up!) Mark on the other hand was either shot 3 or 4 times. The uncertainty comes when after seemingly being shot during a scene, he is perfectly fine mere seconds later and doesn't comment on the fact at all. So I'm not sure if he was definitely shot. I included a gif in the original post to illustrate the initial incident, so if you want to make your mind up for yourself, you can go and take a look at that. Personally I think 4.

Wet: surpassed only by season 4 in terms of average, but in raw numbers they reign supreme. It's a good thing they can both swim... I guess they are the blorbos that come in 'soggy wet' variety...

The disclaimers and stuff became way longer than I'd expected, but I wanted to be transparent about everything (can you tell I'm on another university degree) anyway, I hope you find these useful or at least interesting! I would love to have any sort of discussion regarding these!