#she also sometimes...idk...acts like the pen is still touching the screen

[ghost-t-cryptids]

Also, my samsung tablet has been...dying a lot faster than usual...I might have to get her looked at at some point...when I can afford it lmao

[boymeetsweevil]

Alien!Reader crashing in Jimin’s backyard - brainstorm

Possible Genre: Comedy, Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Smut????

draft word count: 3.2k

Beginning/Context:

1[ (Alien!)You try to get support from superiors to visit earth and make a few human connections and form ambassadorship (is that a word idk) to create allies between people of earth and people of your planet. Superiors reject the proposal, writing humans off as barbaric and saying they have nothing to gain from a relationship with them even after you spent your whole scholarly life researching humans and poring through previous documents collected by other people who were researching them before humans became thoroughly taboo, so your latest knowledge is like 1999??? Funding gets cut off or something so you high jack an observation-pod to continue to study earth but end up crashing it when colliding with space debris. You land in the field one night behind Jimin’s gym in the mall while he’s closing. He investigates because he’s inquisitive, was a boy scout and a bit of a space nerd when he was younger and goes to see what happened. Finds what’s left of you encased in the slightly cracked safety orb that deploys when the pod is going to be destroyed by impact and he uses sheer brawn to crack it open.]

2[To minimize trauma and preserve brain and vital organs, your body takes on a neutral looking gumby-ish form. Still two legs because Earth and your planet and all other planets in that specific cross section of the galaxy are bipedal]

A) Jimin carries you back to his apartment and worries you’re dying because your skin starts changing in reaction to the environment once you’re exposed to the air after he breaks the vacuum seal in the safety pod.

3[the landing takes place around mid-summer???]

Your Appearance/Mannerisms:

4[in your home atmosphere, skin is rubbery opaque seafoam green texture]

B), but with the source material of Jimin’s hands initially after the crash, when your body realizes its no longer in danger, it restarts and adjusts to earth’s atmosphere and uses DNA from Jimin to create a analogous form for you

5[on earth your skin is translucent so can see blood]

6[has adaptive skin, can change at will if have copy source nearby]see 5+ B

7[black stripes appear over skin when aggressive]

8[thick blue pearlescent blood with tons of flakes of silver floating in around from heart]

9[pulse looks like a purple lightning strike when it gets fast enough]

10[a plum heart with silver lining inside that shed into the blood, but is constantly being repaired and regenerated so not to worry] see 8

11[sharp retractable teeth, vertical pupils perches on everything never sits normally EVER]

12?[hates jimin’s cat because Jimin’s cat reminds you of a breed of people from a different part of the galaxy who came and tried to invade your planet about a decade before you were born and your people just barely managed to kick them out recently and so there’s a lot of anti-cat alien sentiment on your planet and even though Jimin’s cat isn’t mean or anything, like its lazy and indifferent towards you but loves jimin, you still flip it the bird once you learn what that means]

13[Can only eat fruit and drink water with like a shit ton of table salt in it.]

14[All bodily fluids contain the silver sparkles although at much finer size than what can see in blood. Spit and sweat are translucent barring the silver and roughly same consistency as that of humans but pee and blood are deep black with the silver flakes] see 8 and 10

First Encounter:

C)You don’t wake up until 3 days later, when your body has finished completely reacting. When you wake up, he’s coming through his front door with groceries and you make really tense frightened eye contact for a super long time until he finally just shuts his bedroom door and sleeps on the couch. You thinks he’ll kill you because his muscles indicate he’s a warrior on his planet and you’re indeed trespassing (so like why not kill you amirite???). When you learns he’s peaceful, you walk up to him and slowly put your (new)thumbs in the center of his forehead to gain access to his thoughts and learn his language. He can feel you in his mind, inexplicably. First thing you says is “why do you think about breeding so much”. 

First Meal on Earth:

D)Later you ask if he’s instead a breeder, because his voice is good for mating calls. He says no...but like confused. During the first few days you’re really weak and starving and he tries to give you so many things but you throw them up every time until he gives you a mango ( because he HATES them and he’s been trying to get rid of it since he bought it to try it and see what the fuss was about but, didn’t like it). And you don’t throw it up so he tentatively tries giving you broccoli and you throw it up, but he has some bananas he bought recently and you eat all of those and follow him around the kitchen but don’t talk (obvi) and soon you get really dehydrated and you’re like “take me to your ocean, human” and he’s like “the ocean is hours away what about this”. And he does some major googling and then wordlessly goes to the kitchen and dumps a half cup of salt in a gallon of water and shakes it for a while and then hands it to you and you tentatively sip at it and then chug it because THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED.

15[Mating is very simple topic where you come from and nudity isn’t really a thing since you only wear robes during special ceremonies, so you’re very open and always embarrass him by not knocking and/or walking in on him. HOWEVER, mating is also very perfunctory/not anything mindblowing which is why you can be nonchalant about it with him. Intimacy is really different from what it is on earth]

CLothes shopping:

E)The huge elephant in the room is that you’re naked way too often and Jimin is running out of sheets to throw on you whenever you walk into the room completely bare but every time he tries to get you to wear his spare clothes you’re like SORRY I don’t like you like that (see 15) and he’s like??? Just ??wear ?the clothes???? And you’re like still no, so then he goes and buys a wig (because you’re bald lmao i forgot to mention that) for when you both need to go out and makes you wear something so you can go to the thrift store and buy your own clothes because it’s weird that you kiiiiinda look like a woman and you’re naked (and frankly speaking he likes your body). You wear the wig but also skinwarp!!!! and you’re walking around with a wrinkled nose in a goodwill or something and you find some really ugly swimming trunks that probably belonged to a 15 year old boy from the 80’s and they’re oddly shiny and a weird material (but you love it because there is no fashion where you come from that is ever going to be compatible with current aesthetics) and you pick up like 4 pairs and then you see a stack of those dramatic retro shirts with wolves howling on them (or something) and you’re like “wow look at this beautiful artwork” and he’s like…REALLY? But he buys it all quick before you change your mind and now you walk around the house looking like a 10 year old boy in a wolf shirt and plastic-y swim trunks, but you still walk around naked sometimes its just less often.

???:

F)Jimin steps on your bare foot once with his socked foot lightly and you freak out and tell him the equivalent of “you’re not that type of girl” (see 15 + 16)

16[making contact with clothes on is really special and something you do with your betrothed or whatever not between acquaintances. You don’t like the idea of hookup culture because it seems like two people aren’t taking sacred oaths created by the “elder aliens” seriously]

F.5) when Jimin brings a girl home, you act very pitiful for him the next day thinking that she rejected his mating proposal because she went home and he’s like wtf no

17[You learn stupid phrases from earth tv. You love infomercials for their colors and loud voices and the weird ingenuity and often write down the ideas and whisper “I can’t wait to tell my superiors”. You also love watching daytime wine mom soaps.]

?Copmutre:

G)Eventually when you learn to use the computer. You’re still kind of childlike, so Jimin leaves a sticky note on the side of the screen with the url to a soap opera forum and you type with two pointer fingers very slowly the exact same thing on the keyboard every day and you learn to read and write via communicating with people on the forums about the shows

18[that’s the only work-unrelated thing you do on the computer]

G.5)You decide to use this as an advantage to further research and gather enough data to prove that humans are intelligent lifeforms worth allying with. Unfortunately...No technology on earth is advanced enough to record data for your superiors like you need to, though. You try to make do with writing by hand, but you hold a pencil like a dog and write like a two-year-old. Then you try to make observations using a fountain pen because it looks like the recording device you used back home. but obvi that doesn’t work :/

Gym :

H)Your muscles are weak and new from having just reformed and from only having walked around his apartment. He suggests you come to his gym one night and have you work out with him. You go but you’re sore the day after and whiny the whole time during.

Meeting Taehyung:

I)Eventually you get bored in the house one day while he’s working from home and you manage to skin-warp yourself into him, although you’re a bit shorter. You all decide that when you get bored you can go out in the streets in his image if you keep it cool. You run into Tae while you’re at a grocery store with money Jimin gave you for fruit, and he’s like “hey bud” and tries to chat you up like you’re jimin and you’re like “who are you” but also think he’s very beautiful and when he touches your shoulder in a friendly manner you squeak and must remind yourself that contact between adults wearing clothes is platonic on earth. You run off without saying anything and he’s like hmmm but doesnt’ think too much of it. When you come home you tell him about it and mention how beautiful Taehyung is and Jimin’s like “he’s okay, I guess” and you’re like “wow you’re not gonna make a move on that?” So you ask him would it be alright for you to court him using Jimin’s image and he says no!!! and you’re like seems like a waste but okay >.>

19[Whenever you go shopping at a new place, you visit the store first and catalogue all their merchandise with your memory and find out things like tax and tip and when you figure out what you need. Then you go to Jimin very seriously and ask for the exact amount down to the 10 won and he obviously never has exact change so he rounds up and gives you like 20 bucks or something and you’re like “wow extra moneys”]

Frog:

J) the first time you see something you want but don’t need is when you see a frog in the window of a pet shop and you fall in love even though it’s actually the ugliest thing and you come to Jimin with big eyes trying to lie about buying more fruit even though you both know you don’t need more (maybe because you just went shopping and you gave him a way bigger number than normal) and he’s like “I know you’re not buying fruit” and you freak out like ‘I thought you said humans didn’t possess non-verbal data transfer abilities’ and he’s like “um well I do, what are you trying to buy” and you’re very ashamed for being caught in a lie so you confess with your head hung in shame ‘a frog’  and he’s like wtf um why don’t you tell me what’s going on and in the end he skypes you from his phone and goes to the pet shop and is like tell me what to do, so you tell him which frog as he angles his phone at the tank and he buys the frog and brings it home and you cry sparkly tears of joy (see 14). You try to name the frog Jimin because “he’s nice” but Jimin is so disgusted by the ugly frog that he’s like lol no what about swamp boy ™ and you’re like “WOW a great idea even though this species would technically not live in a swamp they’re truly found in…”

Computer:

K)After a few months of staying with him, you notice that he starts to get stressed out whenever bills come and you ask him about it and he’s just like “I don’t really make enough to live in this nice apartment and pay off my gym AND support and extra mouth” but he can’t kick you out and he can’t really move to a new place because he lives far enough from the gym as is and you can’t exactly go out and get a job. You feel bad for a while and try and look for answers when you come across an online gambling site. You’re not the best at technology, not like the people you know back home, but you manage to breach the site and find the game’s algorithm and then you ask Jimin to tell you the basics of poker when he gets home and he’s like…um okay I guess and then you basically hack the server so that you can always read what other players have in their decks and see what the computer’s deck look like for each game. After more research, You make a bunch of different accounts and make it so that it doesn’t look like the winnings are being wired to the same bank account even though they are and then win a few high stakes games with each account. Jimin checks his account semi regularly and when he checks it the next time he sees that there’s way more in there than there should be, he gives you a look and you’re like…just go with it and he’s like “...yeah actually. Okay.”

Body:

L)You hear him sing in the shower once he gets comfortable with living with you and you’re so drawn to the sound that you walk into the bathroom and slide open the door to hear better and he’s like what the hell and you’re like what? and then you look down and you’re like “hey, where’s your vagina and what is that thing, it looks like these animals we have back home”. And he’s like trying to be assertive about space but then he’s too curious and he’s like “if you guys don’t have this, how do you mate” and you blush and you’re like um….and then basically describe french kissing and he’s just -.- And then you’re like “wait what is that thing for” and he’s like “…its for mating???? and peeing” and you’re like that thing???? How? And he tells you and you’re like it goes inside???? and so you awkwardly try and take a look at yourself to see how something could go inside you and he’s like go do that somewhere else please and you’re like okay :) and when he gets out of the shower he feels like he should explain himself and he goes to the living room to talk to you he hears you making shocked sounds and is like ok and goes and plays music in headphones really loudly and then 10 moinutes later you come and find him and you don’t have any pants on and you’re like guess what and he’s like maybe we should talk.

Seaon Change:

M)In the fall he packs up his jeep and drives you both out to the field behind the mall where you crashed that night and you walk around so you can get fresh air and chat and he has you bundled up in more ugly kids clothing from the thrift store and he thinks you’re weird but cute. 

M.5)Winter comes and you’re not really equipped for it because 1) your body didn’t account for winter when it reformed and 2) it doesn’t really matter anyway because your planet doesn’t get that cold. ever. and you can’t keep sleeping on the couch. Jimin doesn’t have a pullout couch because it’s a nice apartment but minimally furnished for 1 person so there isn’t really space for that. And you’re cold-blooded (sort of) so you become really heat seeking in the cold months, which means you whine about being cold all the time and sit by the tiny radiator for hours at a time until he sits you down and turns on the tv and cuddles you and you’re about to freak about and be like “I’m not your wife” (see 15,16, F) but he calmly talks you down and talks about how humans are social animals and touch is important and this will keep you warm blab la blah and eventually you’re like…okay. 

20[In the winter its slower at the gym so he takes more days off which means he takes naps a lot and he can afford to do this with your extra income] see K

Nap:

N)You end up getting in bed one day during a blizzard and you mention that watching the snow outside the window was putting you to sleep and hes like “yeah” cus raining and stuff like fireplaces or snow always put him to sleep and when you get into bed your heart starts beating really fast and you both ignore the implications of that but anyway so your pulse flashes and the lining of your heart sheds more (see 8-10) so its like a blizzard and a thunderstorm combined under your skin and he watches the flow underneath your skin and reaches out to trace it and falls asleep and you fall asleep too and this becomes a pattern after lunch. You both like each other but no one wants to make a move because the alien/human thing feels like it would turn the other off

HankyPanky:

O)You’re watching TV one day and he comes home and sits down and joins you and you see actors kissing on your soap and you’ve watched enough soaps and had THE TALK™ (see 17 and L) so you’re both painfully aware of the tension in the room and your skin is full of silver flakes and flashes (see 8-10) and he kisses you but afterwards you’re like what if I get pregnant!!! (see L) and he’s like…if your new body is made based off human blueprint wouldn’t you get pregnant the human way and you’re like ummm I guess so you wait a few days because that’s how long it takes to show and usually it would mean that your skin would become opaque but it doesn’t and you’re like oh…we can do that all the time then :U

End:

tbc

OKOKOK this is really long and I’ve been sitting on it for so long and IDK like I’m going to try and turn it into a full blown fic but this is still an idea i want to keep so like please respect this for all it is

FYI:

things with numbers in brackets are pieces of context I want to establish to motivate certain vignette thingies

things with letters are the little vignette thingies

both have references to other vignettes or context points as needed to guide me