#she also always had a safety net....unlike others :'(

[stillresolved]

“We are not them. We will never be. To be a Kang, you should be proud, Little Sister.” // from Bellamy

@usuhan / more random dialogue prompts.

SHE BURSTS INTO LAUGHTER. Not the restrained, closed mouth kind, hidden behind hands- no, this is the kind where tears spring from the corners of her eyes and Allegra has to set the pin down rather than in the pin cushion on her wrist, lest she wants to prick herself. It takes a moment or two for her to calm down, although her darling brother can wait forever for all she cares. If he has time to barge into her penthouse while she’s in the atelier, he has time to wait for a response.

“What, you think just because I work outside of our family company I’ve become one of the little people? And pray tell, oppa, exactly what about our family am I supposed to be proud of? Inheriting the money our darling father made before we were even born? Just face it, you might be first in line to inherit the company once our darling father kicks the bucket, but you’ll be nothing more than a placeholder. Certainly no one for the history books to write back about. I don’t need our family name to get where I need to be.”

She gestures at her atelier, where Bellamy has so benevolently decided to grace his presence in. “This is not Kang property. I paid for this space with the money I earned.” Her atelier, strewn with scrap fabrics and threads, pin cushions with pins and needles of all sizes, where the mannequins with half finished dresses and elaborate stitching and fabric rolls line the back wall, where her desk is covered with magazines and sketches ranging from completed to discards and all in between. 

This all came from Allegra, no, Aeri’s own two hands. A career that her mother never supported, her father didn’t even have time to care about, and her older siblings, too caught up in their own ‘important and precious’ responsibilities as heirs and heiresses to the Kang family, were indifferent too. And in spite of all that, Aeri made it to the top, out of the thousands vying for her position. So they call her an elitist, a snob, and even a bitch.

But in truth, she knows, they’re jealous. To respect her would mean to acknowledge they themselves have not put in the hours or the work to get to where she is.

( There is a reason, in the fashion world, she goes by AERI. Not Kang Aeri. )

She turns and sneers at him. It’s not unlike the trademark kind expected from a Kang. “But you’re right, dear brother. I am not one of them and I will never be. But I am also not one of you and I don’t plan to be. Ever.”

[kisskourt]

prove it

pairing: shuri udaku x black!fem reader

contains: explicit language, fluff

word count: 2.9k

vibes:

taglist: @inmyheadimobsessed @shurislover @phantomof-themcu @sapphicvqmpires @sapphicjunglefever @playhousedistee @thtgirlllmona @vixentheplanet @dejaonline @prettymrswright

author’s note: i missed shuri sooo much. i’m so happy she came back to me. for the nasty gals, part two will have smut. thanks for reading!

the woman behind the bar eyed the younger woman in front of her. metal and glass clashed as her lanky fingers tapped the rim of her cocktail. on every finger laid a ring—some of diamond, some of a mixture of jewels.

she tapped impatiently, turning her back to the bartender. the aroma of sweaty bodies lingered in the air as the bartender replaced the empty glass with two shots of whisky.

looking out into the crowd, shuri clenched her jaw. her attempt at tracking you down with solely her eyes was proving to be a failure. she couldn’t see you but she could smell you, and unfortunately, your scent was growing distant by the second.

“maybe if you take those dark ass shades off, you’d be able to find whoever you’re looking for!” yelled the bartender in shuri’s direction.

shuri turned to face the woman behind the bar, tossing a diamond studded grin her way. “and maybe if you had kept that to yourself, your tip would have been much larger. keep the change.” shuri reached into her blazer and tossed two hundred dollar bills on the counter.

the bartender rolled her eyes as she picked up the cash. her eyes scanned shuri in disbelief. the king’s tip was generous, unlike her demeanor.

“assholes like you are always good looking.” the older woman replied as she turnt on her heel to greet the influx of customers darting towards the bar.

the whiskey’s intensity matched the fire that brewed inside of shuri’s chest. her skin was hot, full of rage and tension. shuri licked her lips as she used her hand to brush off a piece of lint from her pants.

prior to your arrival, you spent the evening scrubbing dishes, sweeping, and mopping. you and shuri did a decent job at maintaining your shared apartment by assigning tasks to each other. but lately, shuri hadn’t been around.

it started off small—an extra ten minutes added to her council meetings turned into twenty. as a result of the extended meetings, her presence in wakanda had become increasingly demanding. a day in wakanda would turn into a week until eventually, the lines between catering to her nation and you merged until the victorious winner landed on top. you loved her nation and her culture. but you could not stop the jealousy that fermented in your gut.

you had stopped texting her during her away trips. she took note of this, and proceeded to call you daily. you answered, annoyingly, which she also took note of.

when you stopped answering her calls, shuri put no thought behind your lack of response. she knew your temperament—this was just one your moments. you’d get over it, after some time. the king figured that you’d missed her, because of course you would, and your stubbornness would run dry, ensuring a phone call from you would be coming soon.

that was three days ago.

on the fourth day of her trip, she discovered that you turned your location off. she was fine with allowing you to have your space, which she soon realized was needed after you two made it official. but your whereabouts served as a makeshift safety net for shuri. she didn’t care where you were, as long as you were safe. her trust in you was undeniable; yet her destain for being alone was fiercer. your presence in her life was the start of a new journey for the king. her wounds, rooted in pain and hatred, slowly began to heal as your relationship became stronger. you curated a space for shuri to be emotional without judgment. she needed you, craved you and your scent like a drug.

and that very smell is how the king found herself at club roxi, one drink and two shots deep, on the prowl for you.

quickly, shuri inhaled your panties. she placed them inside of her inner blazer pocket as she trudged deeper into the sea of bodies.

she didn’t want to be here; shuri hated the club, but you didn’t. you didn’t mind the volume, the stares, the touches. it was all too—

“MUCH! this is much better!” you shouted to kelsie as you clutched your salt rimmed glass. she grinned, twirling her drink in hand as she motioned toward the packed dance floor. the crowd of people moved like one living, breathing organism.

“your drink was free of charge! the bartender kept calling you sexy.” kelsie replied.

you gagged as you took a sip of your drink.

“she looks like she bites people.”

kelsie choked before she erupted in laughter.

since your arrival, shuri’s absence had been lingering in the back of your mind. the distance between the two of you had become too wide to ignore, though you’d made a habit of trying. a part of you wondered if she was thinking about you—if she missed you.

kelsie nudged you playfully.

“come on, you’re here to have fun! let’s dance!” she shouted over the thumping speakers.

you smiled, as you followed her towards the mass of swaying bodies. the rhythm took over, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to get lost in it—the movement, the music, the freedom. you hadn’t noticed the panther following you from the shadows.

your scent was a guiding thread that shuri had no intention of losing. she weaved through the crowd, the pulse of the music did little to distract her from her mission. her thoughts were wild—anger, frustration, longing, all swirled together in a cocktail of emotion she wasn't used to swallowing. you’d shut her out, and now all she wanted was to be close to you again.

her heart skipped a beat the second she located you.

you were laughing, carefree, and the sight tugged at something deep within her. your laughter was not the driving factor that threw her overboard. it was the woman’s grip on your waist that awoken the demon inside of her.

there you were—dancing, swaying to the music as a woman was pressed up behind you, her hands on your hips, moving in sync with you. her lips were dangerously close to your ear as she whispered something that made you giggle.

for a moment, shuri wondered if you even needed her the way she needed you. but then she saw it—the flash of sadness in your eyes, the way you seemed to hesitate between the beats. you weren't as carefree as you appeared. you missed her, too. something clicked, and shuri realized that all you needed was her attention. all you wanted was her touch. a pair of hands were touching you but they did not belong to her and it infuriated her.

“enough is enough.” shuri growled.

without thinking, shuri pushed her way through the crowd, her eyes locked on you. as she stalked closer, you still hadn’t noticed her. you were too caught up in the rhythm of the music. the woman behind you spun you around, her hands lingering on your waist as she pulled you closer.

you felt the shift in the air before you saw her. it was subtle, like the slightest pressure in the atmosphere. you’ve always been able to feel her presence, even when she’s not saying a word. you turned, as your eyes searched through the flashing lights and moving bodies. and there she was, standing in front of you, dark glasses hiding those pretty eyes of hers. but her posture, her presence—it was unmistakable.

she didn’t say anything at first. she just looked at you, her lips pressed into a thin line, her jaw still clenched. you could see the tension in her shoulders, the way her hands were balled into fists at her sides. she tried to stay calm, but you could tell she was barely holding it together.

“why are you here, shuri?” you asked, your voice sharp enough to cut through the music. you didn’t bother hiding the frustration in your tone.

“i could ask you the same thing,” she barked back, as she stepped closer.

“i thought we were past running away.”

you scoffed, as you folded your arms across your chest.

“i’m not running away. i’m just… taking a break from my responsibilities. that’s something you seem to do all the time these days.”

shuri winced at your words, but she didn't back down.

“i’m not the one who turned off my location,” she fired back. “i listened to you when you protested wearing the beads and bought this phone instead. you know i don’t like not knowing if you’re safe. i tried using your ancient technology. yet here you stand, testing my patience.”

“and i don’t like feeling like i’m second place in my own relationship!” you snapped back, as the frustration bubbled inside you.

“i get it, shuri. you have responsibilities, your country needs you. but what about me? what about us?”

“us? you just made it clear that there is no us! tell me, y/n, who the fuck is this?!” shuri yelled. her eyes flickered to the girl beside you, who was standing too close for her liking.

you blinked, thrown off by her outburst. “this is—what? shuri, i—“

but shuri wasn’t listening to you. her focus had already shifted to the woman besides you.

“who are you?” her voice was cold, with a dangerous edge to it.

“WHO. ARE. YOU?!?!” shuri shouted in kelsie’s face.

unbeknownst to you, shuri had managed to remove her top grill to relieve herself from the pain of her canine teeth.

as a side effect of taking the herb, when threatened, the panther’s canines grow thicker and longer. the king did not wear her kimyo beads—so naturally, her body became the armor she needed. and it was up to you to stop the panther before she attacked.

kelsie raised her hands in defense. “whoa, hold up!i’m not trying to cause any problems here.”

you quickly stepped between them, as you placed a hand on shuri’s arm. you were trying to diffuse the tension that was in her body.

“shuri, stop. it’s not what you think.”

shuri’s eyes flickered back to you, her expression softened slightly as she searched your face for an explanation.

“then tell me what i’m supposed to think.” she replied. her voice was quieter now, but still laced with frustration.

“because from where i’m standing, it looks like you’re having a good time with someone else.”

you sighed, realizing how this must have looked to her.

“shuri, this is kelsie.” you said, as you gestured towards kelsie’s direction.

“she’s a friend. we’ve known each other since forever. we were just cutting up, nothing serious.”

kelsie eagerly noded as she stepped forward with a scared smile on her face.

“no harm was intended. y/n is a little too girly for my liking anyways.” she teased.

“please go find a stud to play with!” you shot back.

the two of you shared a laugh together before kelsie walked back to the bar.

shuri’s tense posture loosened slightly, but her eyes were still narrowed. she was clearly not entirely convinced. “and the dancing?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“it was just dancing.”

the silence that was dangling in the air was thick and palpable.

shuri’s face softened as the tension in her body fully loosened. she reached up to take off her sunglasses, revealing the dark, tired eyes that had been hidden behind them. you could see her clearly—the vulnerability, the guilt, the longing.

“i’ve never stopped thinking about you,” her voice was faint, almost pleading.

“i’ve been trying to balance everything, but it’s harder than i thought. i’m not used to… needing someone this much.” she confessed.

her words hit you like a wave as they washed over the anger you desperately wanted to cling to. you wanted to stay mad, to keep your walls up, but the truth was, you’ve missed her too.

“do you see the state that i am in? do you see what being away from you does to me?”

you eyed her as you processed her words. her vulnerability felt raw, unfamiliar. you’ve always known her as the confident, unwavering king of wakanda. but in that moment, she was just shuri—the person you loved, the person who let you slip through her fingers without realizing it.

“do you think saying that changes anything?” you stated, your voice trembling slightly.

“do you really think admitting that you need me after all this time fixes the fact that you made me feel like an afterthought? you left for wakanda last week.”

shuri flinches at your words, her jaw tightened again, but she didn’t retreat. instead, she took a deep breath and stepped closer, close enough that you could smell the familiar scent of her cologne.

“i know i’ve messed up,” she admitted, her voice was rough, but steady.

“i’ve been trying to protect everyone, to be everything for wakanda, for my people… and in the process, i forgot how to be here for you. but i can’t lose you. not like this.”

your throat tightened and for a moment, you didn’t trust yourself to speak. you wanted to believe her. you wanted to believe that the woman standing in front of you is the same one who promised she’d never let you feel alone, even when her world felt like it was falling apart.

shuri took another step closer, her eyes searching yours. “i’ve been running on empty,” she whispered, yet you heard her.

“but i can’t run from this. from you. i need you.”

her words hung in the air between you, and for a moment, the world seemed to stop. you could feel the weight of her gaze, the quiet intensity of her presence. the music, the flashing lights, the crowd—everything faded into the background, leaving just the two of you standing there, suspended in the tension that’s been building for far too long.

“i’ve needed you too, shuri. but it’s hard to keep needing someone who isn’t around.”

shuri’s eyes softened, and for the first time tonight, you see the guilt etched deeply into her features.

“i know,” she murmurs. “i know I haven’t been here the way you deserve. but i’m here now and i’m not going anywhere.”

you search her face for any hint of insincerity, but all you see is her—your shuri, stripped of all the walls she’s built up around herself. you wanted to believe her, but the hurt was still there, lingering like a bruise.

“how do i know this won’t happen again?” you asked, your voice wavering slightly.

“how do i know that you won’t get caught up in your world and forget about me all over again?”

shuri reached out, hesitating for a moment before she gently cupped your face in her hands. her touch was warm, grounding, and for the first time in weeks, you felt a flicker of that connection you’ve missed so much.

“i can’t promise i’ll be perfect,” she said softly. “but i can promise that i’m going to fight for this—for us. i can promise that you’ll never have to wonder if you’re second to anything ever again. i have told the council to refer all of my duties to my assistant.”

tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, as you blinked them away, swallowing the lump forming in your throat. you wanted to hold on to your anger, to the hurt that’s been gnawing at you for so long. but as you looked into shuri’s eyes, you realize something: you didn’t want to lose her either.

you nodded, your voice barely above a whisper. “i just… i don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

shuri’s thumbs brushed softly against your cheeks as she held your gaze. “you won’t.” she declared. her voice was thick with emotion. “i swear to bast, you won’t.”

and in that moment, standing there with her hands on your face, the weight of the past few weeks seemed to lift, just a little. it’s not perfect. it’s not fixed. but it’s a start.

shuri leaned in, her forehead resting gently against yours. her breath was warm against your skin. “let me prove it to you,” she whispered, as her voice slightly cracked.

“just give me a chance.”

you closed your eyes, feeling the heat of her body so close to yours, the steadiness of her presence. and after a long, painful pause, you finally exhaled.

“okay,” you whispered, your voice soft, but resolute.

“prove it to me.”

shuri pulled you into her arms, holding you tightly.

for the first time in a long while, you let yourself melt into her embrace, the familiar warmth of her touch soothed the ache in your chest.

it’s not everything, not yet—but for now, it’s enough.

you tightened the grip on her hand.

“when did you get an assistant?”

“okoye has many different titles, sthandwa.”

jokingly, you pushed shuri away from you as you laughed.

“it’s in your best interest that she never hears you call her anything other than her name.”

shuri snickered to herself.

“and it’s in your best interest that you start stretching now. i’m not done with you.”

with her hand in yours, shuri guided you out of the club.

“our night has only begun.” shuri declared.

[lyssasdrafts]

★ 𓈒 ݁ STAR—CROSSED (rhysand x reader) ⊹

chapter three: (written) ✧

𓈒 ݁ ✫ masterlist previous next

over the weekend, you had thanked mor countless times for the opportunity she’d given you. she had insisted it wasn’t a big deal, but perhaps she wouldn’t understand how much this meant to you, how badly you had wished for a path in photography to be there for you. it had been a dream that you’d given up on for a long time until you started again for fun in your first year, but you would’ve never thought to consider it until you had the safety net of your degree.

“are we getting distracted now, y/n?” rhysand’s words interrupted your thoughts. you can hear the arrogance that coated his voice like honey. he peers above you, leaning over your desk to stare you down.

you had your chin in your palms and had been staring into the distance, but that didn’t mean you weren’t listening. however, a part of you was embrassed to admit that it was rhysand who caught your attention again and not the lesson. shifting your gaze to look up at him, you fake a smile as you respond, “i can promise you that pretty face isn’t distracting anyone, rhysand.”

rhysand quirks an eyebrow at you, almost like he was trying to guess what you were thinking about. “i never implied you were distracted by me in particular,” rhysand says blankly before a smirk makes his way onto his lips. you blink at him, realizing the insinuation about what you’d said. you curse yourself for referring to rhysand as pretty, but he definitely knew what you were talking about. it wasn’t unlike him to wink at people on campus and make small flirty comments when he knew he could talk someone into something. perhaps he’d even tried it on you at some point. it was a skill that you sometimes envied, the only ever way you convinced people was through your clever reasoning. at some point, you’d heard from elain that apparently you also happen to be quite intimidating unintentionally, something she said you had in common with nesta.

you take a moment before you respond, using it to scan rhysand’s figure. he wore his usual dress pants and a white button down shirt, his jacket further showing off his expensive preferences. despite the shiny silver watch and necklace he used to accessorize, he made himself look more casual by undoing the top two buttons of his shirt. you admired his style only because you could tell rhysand takes good care of himself and as a photographer. you recognized his jacket to be from a designer you admired and studied, revealing how his taste could be similar to yours. although he was a bother for you, the bastard didn’t have a bad fashion sense at all.

rhysand continues to stare down at you, while you wanted nothing more than to slap the expression off his face. his gaze made you uncomfortable, it burned into your skin and left your heart beating faster. he was insufferable, always taking pleasure in annoying and distressing you when he could’ve been a friend. in a perfect world, the two of you should be helping each other instead, if only rhysand wasn’t so petty and you weren’t so competitive.

you stand up for your desk, the chair making a squeak that catches the attention of some people sitting around you. those glances in your direction are ignored as you stare back at rhysand, your faces slightly inched closer than when you were sitting down. you give him one last comment before you stride out of class.

“you clearly think so highly of yourself that i’m not wrong. but since i’m not as vain as you, i have better things to do than entertain you.”

you’d actually been in a good mood for your entire ride to the studio, despite your earlier conversation with rhysand. you had brushed it off for once instead of obsessing over every comment and heading to the library, insisting on working harder to beat him.

this was your first professional shoot as a photographer, and you had a likely chance of being asked to keep working with the studio since the previous one had quit. never once would you imagine that posting your account online and building your portfolio that it would be shown to someone at a studio like this one. you didn’t believe in fate, but a part of you thanked every star in the sky that you ended up with mor as your roommate. maybe there was some greater power that brought you and your best friend together.

perhaps this could become a real job for you, unlike what your parents had always insinuated. you could work in engineering after your degree while free lancing as a photographer. perhaps if you were really good and built a name for yourself, you could even do photography full time. you would prove your family wrong, you could find a job that provides for them plenty enough.

the studio lobby is quite modern and newly renovated, you can tell from the moment you walked through the revolving doors of the building. from the running water fountain to the hanging lights over the main desk. checking in was easy as well, once you gave the name of morrigan’s manager you were immediately given an entry pass and escorted to the correct room.

the studio room is smaller than you expected, though it definitely wasn’t underwhelming. the small room was full of lights, with different backdrops in multiple colors. the equipment caught your eye the most, with large heavy professional cameras that you almost didn’t want to touch in fear of how expensive they probably were. these were cameras that you probably wouldn’t ever get a chance to buy on your own without getting a job in photography first.

you’re left alone in the studio room after being told that the model would be out shortly. even though it was a smaller space that the studio offered, you were told that this model was apparently quite promising, but he just preferred to work with few people. you hadn’t realized until now that there wasn’t anyone else working on the shoot with you, though you didn’t really feel like it was your place to request for any staff.

you realized that he would arrive any moment now and notice the door in the back leading to a dressing room. you remind yourself that everything will be alright, that you can handle being alone with a stranger for an hour or two. you didn’t necessarily need to be too nice since you didn’t want to come across as desperate, just polite enough to be professional. your model would likely be a beginner as well, someone who might understand your current position.

in the corner of your eye, you notice a navy blue jacket hanging off a chair, proving your assumption that the model was probably in the dressing room. you can’t help but recognize the design, the style of the fabric that almost looked black from a nontechnical eye and you realize that you’ve seen it earlier.

your eyes widen once the door creaks open and rhysand steps out, fixing his hair before his gaze shifts to look for his photographer. your jaw drops at the sight of him.

“y/n,” rhysand pauses, angling his body towards you before lifting an eyebrow again. “are you stalking me now too?”

— NOTES

the bat boys are bit mischaracterized at the beginning to show y/n’s misconception of them

y/n is so clearly attracted to rhysand physically… despite hating his personality <3

y/n always wanted to be a professional photographer but their family disapproved and so they decided to go into astrophysics instead :(

— TAGLIST

@thelov3lybookworm @starsand @lilah-asteria @therealmoonstone @just-a-social-casualty-1 @ashjade19 @girlontheblock @cherry-cin @daughterofthemoons-stuff @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @sweet-chai-amore @kierramofficial @noelli-smv @c-dizzle99 @littlestw01f @marina468

[snowbellewells]

CSSNS24 fic: "For All Life and For All Time" {Part Two}

I certainly did not intend to keep everyone waiting so long for Part Two, but I won't ramble on with a lot of excuses, I'll just let you get right into the story. The action here picks up just after Part One left off, and with finding out what the rest of their brave band is doing in Emma's absence. I hope you'll still enjoy despite the delay - and, as always, I'd love to hear what you think!

A Victorian, Dracula-inspired AU in Three Parts written for the @cssns24 event

Summary: Having lost her dearest friend and with her own life on the line, Emma Swan joins a noble band to face an ancient evil. Three of them stand by her in honor of the one they loved and lost. The other might be the first man she could love. He might love her as well - even more than life itself. Time will tell... if they both survive the fight against their immortal enemy.

Also available on AO3, if that's your preference...

Part Two

Killian Jones could not help but worry incessantly, pacing the floor of Lord Briarling’s study without ceasing, mind assailed by all which could go wrong. He had no doubt of Miss Swan’s bravery, her determination, or her intentions - she was a wholly incomparable woman - unlike any he had ever encountered, even his Milah long ago. The problem was, he knew better than most just how powerful, how debilitating the will and control of the being they faced… that they had sent Emma to face alone.

Already, he had asked much of her in the short time he had known her. The trust Emma Swan had bestowed up on him in return was nothing short of astounding. She was smart, discerning, careful not to be falsely taken in - and yet she had not doubted or questioned him, even when his orders and conclusions must have seemed egregious to her ears. That he had been forced to lead the men who had loved her dearest friend to stake and behead the poor sweet Aurora Spindleton’s corpse on the claim that the girl had been turned into a vampire must have seemed an intolerable insult; yet she had steeled herself and accepted the dire need, not holding their actions against any of them.

Not only that, but Emma had stood forth boldly, seeking what she could do to end this creature’s reign before more were turned, their lives destroyed as her friend’s had been. Her voice might have trembled, but she stood straight and tall, her chin jutting forward in stubborn resolve. Though Killian knew she must have been afraid, her pale, perfect face looking to him for guidance had seemed like a candle’s flame breaking through surrounding darkness - more beautiful than anything he had ever seen.

It was a risk, certainly, this plan they had concocted in the hopes of ensnaring their quarry. He certainly did not relish the idea of sending Emma alone into perilous surroundings. The thought of her in the Count’s thrall without himself or at least one of their compatriots at her side was enough to bring bile rushing up his throat and a cold pit of fear to settle in his gut. The demon was unpredictable, nearly invincible, and suffered no compunction or fits of conscience to reign his actions. And yet, despite the way his limbs nearly burned for action, how he had wanted to follow behind her carriage to see to her safety, Killian knew their best possibility of luring Count Dracula von Stiltskin into their net and putting him off his guard enough to attack with success was to send her to him in the guise of a besotted innocent. Emma was beguiling enough, and the Count’s thirst, even the Count’s intention, was already turned toward her. He had to trust that she could hold her own, and that she could respond with false interest while still remaining on her guard.

Yet, it was the not-knowing which made his wait so trying. There was no way to ascertain what Emma might have already been faced with - or was already enduring - now that she was out of their reach and beyond communication with him. That morning before the sun had even fully broken across the chill sky, Killian had ridden out on his sturdy Andalusian to follow the path Emma’s carriage had taken the previous night. By the time he had reached the empty and abandoned conveyance and found no sign of either Emma or her driver, he had already known it was a futile journey, yet it was all he could think of to do. It only made his nightmarish reel of possible scenarios Emma might be suffering cycle through his mind more quickly. The poor horses were still hitched, and to Killian’s surprise, still in the area, despite having no tie or guidance, but they were pawing the ground, eyes wild with fear, and he had been able to bring them back to Lord Briarling’s chateau and see them properly tended. Where he had located the carriage though was in the forbidding shadow of the dark, austere castle towering over the area. Even the poor beasts had sensed the “wrongness” in the air - the presence of something wild and unnatural. 

They had all tracked the monster back from his prowl across English soil to the outskirts of his own country. As fate would have it, the Briarling estate owned a hunting outpost just before one crossed over the Romanian border - long unused but perfectly suited to their needs. From there, Emma had ventured on alone, and the rest of waited unwillingly until they could follow.

Finally, Killian stood and strode from the room to find his compatriots in this almost unreal, but necessary, mission. It was now well into the new day, the sun full and warming overhead and rendering the next several hours much safer from their lurking foe. He heard the others moving in the hall and throughout other rooms on the floor below. They have much to do, and the sooner they are off to complete their part of the overall plan, the sooner he can be off to face Dracula head-on at last, after so many years and so much turmoil and waiting. Even more importantly, the sooner they can ride after Emma, hopefully finding her still well and whole, and bring her back to safety again.

He found them all - Sir Philip Thornswood, Graham Morris, and his old friend and colleague Jefferson Seward in the sun porch, partaking in coffee or tea and a late breakfast, but quietly and with an undercurrent of tension, waiting and knowing that their next move was nigh, yet not sure what that move might be. As Killian appeared in the doorway, all three heads turned toward him abruptly, eyes alert, and in Morris’ case, even half-rising from his chair, coiled to spring into action.

“Van Helsing,” Jefferson greeted simply, standing to bring him a cup of coffee and place a strong hand on his shoulder in support. The greeting jarred him in itself, as he had spent much more time recently in Emma’s company - first tending to Aurora, then listening to Emma’s fond memories and intense grief and anger, and then outlining their plan of attack for her - what she must do and how to keep herself as safe as possible. However, in her presence, he had let down his guard and allowed himself to be simply “Killian”, far more than he had done in a very long time. 

“When do we set out?” Jeff pressed, his mouth pursed in tense readiness as his eyes busily attempted to read Killian’s face. 

He took the cup from the physician and drew a long pull of the hot liquid, wincing slightly at its heat and bitterness, even as he savored its familiarity. Pausing only a moment, he then nodded sharply, as if to acknowledge all of them deferring to his direction.

“The task before us is a weighty one,” Killian began solemnly, meeting their eyes and quickly confirming each man’s commitment. “It will not be easily accomplished, but must be done - whatever the cost - if we are to stand any chance against this devil we face.”

Each man, Seward, Morris, and Thornswood in turn, nodded their assent, understanding on their faces and merely awaiting his instruction to take action. In every one of their bearing, he saw the intent and the loss that drove them; they would do what they must and would not shrink from fear or challenge.

“We are aware that the Count must have other lairs, a maze of strongholds in which to hide from the light, as he has made his way far from his citadel in the mountains - with a purpose he has not evinced in an age. Each and every one of these must be destroyed. He must be forced into the open where we stand a chance to fight him.”

“Right you are, Mate,” Graham spoke up with brisk determination, but a slightly puzzled expression marring his brow. “I’ve no question with that.  If sunshine and open space be his only weakness, then we must do away with all his shadows. But how may we know where he has chosen to hide? And, once found, how may we be certain to dismantle each lair?”

Killian’s gaze flicked over to Jefferson’s, as if gauging from his friend who knew Morris better whether or not he should bare all. At the Doctor’s subtle nod, Killian launched into his past history with the Count - how he had watched and studied the monster, waiting and biding his time until he had finally gathered enough knowledge to strike while Dracula von Stiltskin would be most vulnerable to harm. It had to make a mark, for when fighting such a one as this, he might not get a second chance.

When he had finished his condensed tale of explanation, he paused, eying Lord Briarling, Philip Thornswood, in particular with acute regret. “That I was too late to help our dear Miss Spindleton is a heavy burden I must bear,” he finally intoned, forcing the words past clenched teeth and a tight throat. “But I can only pray you will still trust the information I have and the hope that we can save ourselves and countless others, along with our brave and true Miss Swan, who was so dear to Aurora. When Jefferson’s urgent summons reached me, I was in truth already on my way to these parts. All my tracking, spying, and observation had finally bought me an opening that led me straight to this very countryside, even as you called upon me to assist.”

“No wonder you arrived so quickly,” Jefferson exclaimed, clearly taken aback by this revelation that was new to him as well.

He might have said more, but Morris had already broken in urgently. “What had you discovered then? How can it help us?”

Killian noticed that Sir Philip was silent nearest the window, clearly listening to their exchange, but not moving or speaking, a pained look of focus etched upon his features. He could not tell what the other man was thinking, or if beneath his grief the bitterness was taking poisonous root. Whether he laid blame at Killian’s feet or no, he could not judge Van Helsing more harshly than Killian already judged himself. All the time and the sweat and blood, the effort of years, and he had still been too late to thwart the vampire’s draining another innocent of life. 

Drawing in a deep breath, Killian plowed on, not having any recourse but to see the story through to the present. Whether any of them deemed his plans reliable or possible to carry out, he needed to be on his way. He would do all he knew to weaken von Stiltskin, to bring on even an ounce of human weakness he might inflict, before facing the demon once more. He would not - no, he could not survive it - if he were forced to see Emma suffer the same fate as his Milah, and Aurora, had before her.

“There was a ship,” Killian explained, holding out a staying hand as Graham began to pace - needing the movement and action so much that Killian feared the cowboy might race to the docks that very moment before he could even explain what they sought. “It made slow, hidden voyage all the way from (Varna?) near where his castle stands overlooking (Transylvania?) to our English shores undetected. Even with contacts and spies scattered throughout the distance between, I did not hear of its existence until it stopped briefly at some small port for supplies. The uneasy fear its very presence impressed upon the harbormaster there made it memorable enough for him to note when he was next questioned of any strange happenings in his jurisdiction. The description of a dark and eerily silent ship, barely in dock an hour, and odder still, with hardly enough crew to properly man its decks, was enough to convince me Von Stiltskin was on the move with some nefarious purpose in mind - especially joined as it was with reports that he himself had not been sighted on his own lands in some weeks, even at night when he usually hunts.”

His three man audience was captivated now, motionless with eyes fixed upon him as Killian continued his ghastly tail. “However, as concerning as this news was, no one had any way to be certain where he was bound. I was at that point in Italy, seeking a holy relic - a jewel hilted dagger from the Crusades - which my studies had led me to believe might equip one to mortally wound the vampire. I needed to have it in hand before returning to English shores.”

Jefferson opened his mouth at this, no doubt to ask if the mission had been successful, but his friend’s lips snapped together again wordlessly when Killian pulled the weapon from the hidden pocket inside his heavy, dark cloak. Holding it out upon his palm for their perusal, he watched as each member of their band registered its clear import silently, seeming to straighten their shoulders and steel themselves further. This dagger signified their way forward.

“No others know this blade is in my possession,” Killian intoned seriously. “And it must remain that way. One of the very few things which can strike fear into the Count’s blackened heart is the existence of this item which can control his power and do him mortal harm. Though legends and rumors disagree upon how it was ever wrested from his possession, it almost certainly torments him not to have it - the one thing keeping him from true invincibility. I found it safeguarded by a long-forgotten hidden order of monks and managed to successfully convince them I was the correct avenger with whom to entrust the relic. Unfortunately - “

He bowed his head toward Sir Philip Thornswood once more, a heavy moment of quiet remembrance covering the room before he wet his lips and carried on at Philip’s small acknowledgement. “Unfortunately, I was too late. I was still a week’s journey from the English coast when I received Dr. Seward’s summons, along with a notification of the same dark, silent ship docking in Whitby, only to horrify all those at the harbor with the discovery that all aboard it were dead - and this only after a large, black wolf had leapt from its deck snarling and slavering and cutting a path through the area and up into the surrounding wooded hills, leaving behind it an echoing howl that set all who heard its hair on end and chilled them to the bone. They found the poor captain a mere corpse lashed to the mast, note clutched in his hand detailing how something in the dark was picking them off one by one. He was the last one alive and dared not sleep, but knew at some point his body must do so; the note was his attempt to explain what might be found remaining on board.

“The Count!” Sir Philip spat with the force of an invective. “Murdered his own crew as it transported him? For what purpose?”

“He had reached his destination,” Killian answered simply, not at all nonchalant about the slaughter, but needing to be clear how very little a life - any life - truly was to worth to Dracula. “They had served their purpose, and he could not have any witnesses who might cause complications to his plans or raise an alarm (too soon?) If one could sully and drain the beauty and sweetness of an innocent such as your betrothed, my Lord, please be assured, no atrocity is beyond him.”

The sharp, almost spasmodic dip of Philip’s chin showed his frank agreement, having learned all too well the appalling truth of Killian’s words. “Right you are, Van Helsing,” he rasped with a voice that sounded almost rusted with disuse from the last few days’ wordless grief and brooding thought. “So tell us what we must do.”

“Indeed,” Morris chimed in readily, stepping forward once more. “You have the dagger, how will you wield it, and how shall the rest of us work to insure you succeed? We must be off and doing it.”

Killian inclined his head to each of his compatriots, acknowledging their eagerness and desire to be of use. “We will not have to wait much longer,” he assured them. “There is only one last part to my tale, and then we will be on the move, following the tracks he has recklessly left for us - too overconfident in his long invulnerability.”

Here he nodded to Jefferson to take over the narrative, the doctor having gone with him to see almost as soon as Killian had reached Whitby - nigh on a week ago. Emma Swan had requested a mere hour or two alone with her dear friend, promising she knew how to do the few things left to them which would bring Aurora any comfort, and that she would send for them if there were an emergency. The young lady had been wasting away at that point, nothing to be done for her but attempt to ease her discomfort and bide the time. He had seen no harm to leaving Aurora in Emma’s capable hands, nor did he begrudge them any last feminine secrets or promises of the heart in the sweet Miss Spindleton’s final hours. He had needed to see for himself what had been found on the ship in any case, and he did wish for Jefferson’s accompaniment and the added benefit of his insight. 

“On that ship,” Jefferson began, picking up the story’s thread adroitly and pulling it taut again with speed. He held the other two men’s attention as rapt as Killian had done - perhaps more so even, due to their greater connection and shared history, “very little had been found at all, until Van Helsing and I ventured below, into the depths of the hold.”

Killian gratefully turned away as the Doctor raced through the rest of the information needed. He was thankful to have focus off of his person for a moment as he clenched and unclenched his fists and forced himself to draw in and release several deep, cleansing breaths. Every bit as impatient as Graham Morris to be riding into the fray, he only barely kept his impatience from showing through herculean effort. Staring out the window as he swallowed a long pull of rum from the flask discreetly hidden at his hip - he didn’t give a bloody damn how early in the day it was, though others might - Killian stared out the window and forced himself to remember that Emma knew what she was doing, of how often he had marveled at her strength, rather than letting his mind fly to all the ways she could have already been overpowered, tormented, broken beyond - 

With a harsh jerk of muscles that he feared could hardly be missed by the astute men around him, Killian spun away from the view out the window of the morning dew on the nearby fields and caught the last of Jefferson’s explanation.

“So, to the best of our knowledge and deduction, this metal casket full of raw earth must have been the one our Dracula traveled in - his shield by day, as it were. He has, no doubt, others scattered throughout the countryside at intervals so that he may move around as needed, stalking his chosen victims and adding to his cursed ranks while maintaining safe places to retreat from the light of the sun. We must split up, find these strongholds, and destroy the caskets within, leaving him no place to left to rest concealed.”

“Aye,” Killian resumed, signaling Jefferson seamlessly, and the doctor turned to get the maps he had brought, marked with the targets for them to hand to Thornswood and Morris. “We dare not travel and enter these possible lairs completely alone, but if we break into pairs and reconvene this evening when the task is completed, then we can make our way toward Castle Dracula itself as a reunited band. The fiend himself will have no choice but to flee back from whence he came when he sees that there is no other place for him to hide. We can only hope and pray that our brave Miss Swan has remained safe from his influence in body and mind, has been able to use her quick wit and feminine wiles as planned to infiltrate and put him at his ease. He will wish to prolong and savor his enjoyment of such a rare delicacy…” His abhorrence for the way the creature would view this woman as a mere object, as a possession to be enjoyed and then tossed aside, was clear in his pained expression and the way he nearly spat the words, even as he strove to be realistic about what she and the rest of them faced. “His last casket will no doubt be in his castle. If Emma can find and destroy it while he is unaware, and we arrive before his return to find it so… we will be ready for him. He will have to face us - once and for all - desperate and with no other hole in which to hide, weakened enough that we just might stand a chance against his evil power.”

As one, the other three were on their feet standing before him; all reached in, hands clasped between them in solemn promise. They would chase this demon to his end, or die in the attempt. If he had more than a moment to dwell in such thoughts, he would have been almost overcome with a surge of conflicting emotions. For years now, Killian had been a man apart - had forced himself to be so, out of duty and penance, and for the safety of any who might have joined him. The sense of brotherhood and belonging which flooded him before their tight huddle was broken seemed more than he could have hoped to find again in this life.

If only they might succeed in their wild hope of a quest… and he could reach Emma Swan to find her still well and whole… he might at last cease to be only his mission and a vindicating shadow of a man, and find himself once more a man of flesh and blood - with a life of warm reality - for her sake.

They had much to do before they could ride after her. It was time they began.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Emma held her breath while she crept through darkness thick and gray, heavy as hanging vines or a thick curtain, as she made her way determinedly through the bowels of Count Dracula von Stiltskin’s castle. Guided only by the small flare of a single candle in hand, a mere pinprick in the black veil surrounding her, for she dared no more, Emma slunk as soundlessly as possible down one long, deserted hall and corridor after another, moving lower floor by floor, her breath shallow with dread that kept her lungs from drawing in a full breath.

She had to be near the lowest level of the massive structure; it felt as though she had been alone in the dark for hours, for so long that it seemed she might never reach the end, even as she scolded herself it had to be fear and paranoia working on her nerves and overriding her good sense. When Killian had instructed her where to seek out the Count’s lair, he had reasoned that the further below the surface and into the Earth should could get, the more likely to find Dracula’s true resting place. His nest would be removed from all else, far from any risk of light or accidental exposure and discovery, and difficult to reach. The monster had not survived so long without caution and numerous safeguards - no matter the preternatural strength he wielded. 

Even at that, however, Emma still doubted her chances at finding his coffin bed - even if on the surface far above her all was still and von Stiltskin was far from home. It could not be so straightforward as all that. She feared all that could go wrong with her heart in her throat, even as she forced herself forward, one foot in front of another. 

Killian had also advised, and she had agreed with him - as daunting a challenge as it would be - that her best hope was to feign intrigue, curiosity, and an impulse she could not fight, once she encountered Dracula upon his own land. To implore him to expose her to the wonders, freedoms, and power at which her dear friend had only vaguely hinted. Their chance at convincing him she was stronger, that she would survive where Aurora had not, and that she, Emma, could be useful to him, was her prayer of survival and the way in for the rest of them following after - if she could keep up the charade that long.

It had turned her stomach to pretend interest, perhaps even wide-eyed attraction, when Dracula had met her waylaid coach in the darkness the night before - seeming to separate from the shadows so subtly that he must have been part of them. Every fiber of her being had teetered on rebellion at batting her lashes like some ninny and simpering coquettishly to wheedle a welcome into the vampire’s abode - so much so that she had fisted her hands into the fabric of her skirts to keep her fingers from balling up and smashing violently into the creature’s cold-eyed face.

But gain entrance she had, and the ancient being had played a dutiful host, a rich and generous nobleman offering food and shelter to a weary, lost traveler. He had smiled as he asked Emma of herself and what brought her to the area, but the whole time an undercurrent of knowing malice ran between them. He was already aware of her, had allowed her admittance because he wanted her there. Von Stiltskin watched her ever movement avidly - a spider waiting for the hapless, innocent fly to tumble into his web and be ensnared. Just as Emma knew what he was, the Count had been aware of her too, and had already decided she would add nicely to his macabre collection. It was eerie, unsettling knowledge that only served to put her further on edge, though the Count had not shown himself since bidding her adieu near midnight, telling her he was rarely available - “a busy man” - in daylight hours, but to make herself at home.

She had done just that, though certainly not for the sake of simply enjoying fine hospitality. Thankfully, her thoughts were saved from continuing on the same whirling cycle of wondering if the vampire knew exactly what her intentions were, where he might be, and if he watched her from the shadows, even at that very moment. Before her stood a heavy wooden door, solidly barring the passage she had begun to fear unending.

Having come too far at this point to give up, Emma struggled to pull the door open with one hand, not willing to put down the candle and risk its going out - the utter darkness she would be plunged into if that occurred struck sickening fear to her very core. Careful not to wrench too quickly and make more noise than absolutely necessary, the heavy barrier finally began to move as she continued to tug steadily with all her might.

The vault of sorts which greeted Emma beyond the door seemed exactly the sort of hidden nest she had sought. Though she felt her cheeks heat at how pleased and playfully self-satisfied he would be at hearing it, Emma allowed herself a mere moment to savor the image of Killian’s face when she was able to tell him how well he had guided her; it was almost exactly as he had attempted to describe. It might not be proper, but the effect even his image had on her pulse and shivering frame was a comfort there in the nightmare depths.

She moved forward with pure determination and force of will, though her knees trembled beneath her. Feeling for the satchel which hung at her waist, Emma tried to draw strength from the vial of holy water and the communion wafers she knew were stowed within. All was ready. She was ready. She needed only to find and open the coffin which must be von Stiltskin’s, put the emblems within the dirt it contained, and it could no longer house the vampire - his last refuge would be ruined for him.

As the light of her candle illuminated the small space, it was hard to miss the large, ancient-looking casket nearly central in the room on a sort of plinth.

‘Not a bit dramatic,’ Emma grumbled to herself in nervous comment. ‘Not at all.’  Still, she shook herself from the uncertain pause and hurried forward, not about to linger if she needn’t do so.

Having waited until the dusk of evening and for dinner once again to be concluded and for the Count to excuse himself from her presence for the night, Emma had only undertaken this venture when as sure as possible that he must be gone - out hunting or gathering his minions. That hardly made it easier to stand beside the coffin though - feeling more fragile and small than she’d ever had cause to in her life.

Finally, she forced out a tense breath and shoved the lid from the casket, not allowing herself to hesitate a moment longer. Every second she lingered was another second in which she could be discovered.

As the heavy lid fell away, clanging to the stone floor, Emma couldn’t help the gasp that escaped her, horror in every pore of her being. Dracula was there, lying still as Death in the coffin before her. Shock held her rigid in indecision for terrifying moments as her mind tried to process what to do, the other possible plan if given the miraculous opportunity.

Hands shaking, she fumbled for the hidden blade at her thigh, bypassing the elements and hoping to move right to staking the creature before it woke to find its stronghold breached. She raised her hand to strike, aiming to pierce the monster’s heart and paralyze him against any attack until she could manage to sever the head.

But before she could let the blow fall, those inhuman eyes flicked open, a garish sneer on his face as the reptilian eyes froze her in place helplessly. “Oh Miss Swan,” Dracula chided silkily, as one might scold a wayward soul who knew they’d earned their punishment. “You must know better than that. You see, I’ve been expecting you.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The hoofbeats of their horses pounded on the hard ground as the four riders raced desperately along the treacherous pass as quickly as they dared in the rapidly failing light. Night was falling fast, and though they had managed to ruin the numerous hideaways Dracula had planted along his route from ancient castle to the English soil he meant to claim, it still seemed an empty victory until they reached the end of this frantic ride. Only seeing Dracula himself reduced to ash and vanquished forever with absolute certainty would allow any member of the band rest or peace. That the first prong of their attack had been managed, allowed a flicker of hope but little more, as they careened around sharp corners of rocky cliff face and whipped past the grasping fingers of bare branches and thorned hedges; little green lived here, in what seemed a dark waste of gray stone and deathly stillness. Was it merely their horrified fancy, or had the entire region come to resemble its horrid master?

Killian could not bring himself to pull back on his mount’s reins, even as rocks skittered from the edges of the narrow, uneven path as it wound higher, and crashed down the steep incline with disturbing regularity - sharply reminding that their own fall would be no less swift if one step went wrong. Still, the tremor running through his hand clenched tightly on the braided leather leads was not fear for his own safety, or even that of the companions at his side, but the sense that their arrival had already taken far too long for the woman awaiting them. 

The sturdy Andalusian’s dark flanks were flecked with sweat as they at last crested the final winding rise and plunged into a dense copse of gnarled trees. As they left the shadows of the twisted grove minutes later, the grouping thick but not wide, they emerged upon a wide open expanse in the shadow of tall walls surrounding a wide gate on yet another sharp rise. Startlingly close to the Count’s forbidding stronghold at last, nearly on the proverbial doorstep before realizing it.

Killian did pull up then, his horse’s tossed head and the shivering of its coat making even the animal’s unease clear. The courtyard and grounds seemed quiet and deserted before them, but he looked to the other three men for any hesitation, a last warning to be alert and on their guard needless on the tip of his tongue that he swallowed back with effort.

Seeing no hint of hesitation in them either, Killian wheeled around to press onward. His horse had just begun to move again when a sharp jolt nearly wrenched him from his saddle. Searing pain clutched his insides, squeezing his gut until he couldn’t help doubling over his mount’s withers. Blinding light overtook his vision for a moment, and when it receded, he knew. Something had happened to Emma - or was happening even that moment as he struggled to regain his breath. He knew no science, history, or legend of such visceral physical connection, but the knowledge was certain in his blood all the same. They were somehow connected, and he was experiencing her turmoil and fear in his own veins.

Having managed to retain his seat, if only just, Killian charged forward, teeth grit in determination against the quivering in his limbs from the easing onslaught and the pounding of his traitorous heart. Seward, Morris, and Thornswood at his back had never been more welcome than in that moment, his heart gone cold within his chest no matter how hard he tried to steel himself for what awaited.

As they reached the towering doors in the surrounding wall, the entrance into the fortress itself, Killian swung from his horse’s back, pleased to find himself stumbling only slightly upon impact with the ground, his strength returning with every breath. A sharp swat to its flank sent the majestic creature off to safety, Killian musing idly that at least perhaps the Andalusian would survive the night. He was prepared to pry open the door with his bare hands until his fingers bled or beat at the sturdy wood with sticks and stones until he chipped the barrier away, so heedless was his need to get inside and reach Emma Swan before it was too late. Oh aye, he still desired the end of his long-sought foe, and would see it accomplished if it took another unfathomable stretch of years, but there was no hiding the truth from himself any longer. It was more important that Emma Swan lived - that her shining light not be extinguished by the vampire as had so many been before her. She was paramount - and beyond her, little else truly mattered, not in his deepest heart of hearts.

However, though they had all raised their hands or put shoulders to the gates to push, to see if the sturdy boundary could be moved, before they could, the portal shifted and with heavy groan began to move inward of its own volition. That, or it was rolled back dramatically by some powerful unseen force.

It didn’t bod well. Killian looked sideways to Jefferson, brow arched in suspicious query as if to confirm his suspicion. Their quarry knew they had arrived and was granting them entrance. His friend did not hold his gaze long; a stiff nod of agreement, and then his eyes fell with a terrible resignation and turning of his head to hide the expression. If the beast awaiting them wished their approach, what would surely greet them could only be horrendous.

None of that mattered though. Striding forward, the four men entered Dracula’s castle, needing only to step fully into the large entry hall before the thick doors were swung shut behind them with a bang, sealing them within. They could see by the flickering light of candles and torches throughout the wide, high-ceilinged space, but the fading evening’s natural light was held outside by the lack of windows in the stone walls and the heavy draperies concealing what apertures did exist, shielding the vampire from the rays that would burn him irreparably.

Eyes adjusted, all came up short, frozen at the nightmare tableau across the room, glowing a sickening amber and red in the flickering flames that illuminated it for their human sight. Not in the least slowed or phased by discovery, the creature continued what he had been about before their entrance. Held before him as a shield, stood Emma Swan, the vampire’s arms seemingly holding her upright as she slumped frighteningly limp within such firm grasp. Her blonde tresses streamed down her back like a flood of molten gold, but bile clogged Killian’s throat at the sight of the white-pale clawed hand that held it aside to bare her neck. From what he could see of her face, Swan’s eyes were open but unfocused in some sort of trance - though her hands did appear to be raised to push back futilely against von Stiltskin’s chest in hopes of holding him off.

The only thing granting him any sort of relief was the subtle rise and fall of her breast barely visible across the space separating them. She was still breathing, still trying to fight.

And then, as though he had merely been waiting for an audience to his depravity, Dracula sent one evil, calculating look at those who had hoped to defeat him, and bent to sink his fangs into Emma’s flesh.

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[zestymimblo]

Writeblr - ReIntroduction

Howdy howdy! I figured I'd type one of these out again because I'm trying to be more active on here, and also pushing myself to indulge in my passion for writing again... this helped last time, so I may as well give it another shot.

My name is Milo (he/xe) and I'm an aspiring author. I've always loved writing, and there's never been a point in my life where I didn't want to write in some capacity. It's easy for me to succumb to writer's block, but writing makes me happy and I want to be able to share what I create.

About Me

I'm a 21 year old (very gay) transman from Canada, and I want so badly to be able to travel to other parts of the world one day.

I'm a D&D nerd. When I struggle with a writing project, I often fall back on expanding my D&D worlds/characters. It's my safety net.

My career is in film. I work in the Art Department, mainly in props, and am working towards maybe becoming a Production Designer one day. Film work is a competing passion of mine, and you'll definitely find posts of me talking about work.

Like most other authors, I love weird shit, and you'll find a lot of weird stuff in my writing. Weird Fantasy is my favourite kind of genre.

In my writing you'll find themes of 2SLGTBQIA+, found family, fighting destiny, struggling under mega-corps/capitalism, nature vs nurture, self-discovery, different kinds of love, slightly unsettling surroundings, and weird lil monsters/freaky dudes.

My Current Projects

I have two writing projects going on right now. One I had to put on the backburner because I had written myself into a corner. The story wasn't progressing or flowing the way I had envisioned/planned, and I ended up getting more stressed than excited to write it. The other is one more laid-back for me to write. (Keep in mind, these short descriptions may be subject to change in the future)

The Strings of Willis Manor: Thistle Willis is sick. Her condition leaves her confined to the property of Willis Manor; a sprawling estate with lush gardens, dusty libraries, and secret corridors. At her attendance is Clementine (an automata handmaid, who was created with the sole purpose of tending to Thistle) and Andromeda Marrow (Thistle's childhood best friend). When her father doesn't return from a business trip to the South, Thistle's mother begins to fear the worst. In an effort to find a cure for her daughter, and establish Thistle as the head of the family business, Mama hires a Healer from an unknown land. But this cloaked Healer isn't who they say they are, and Thistle begins to uncover what really may be going on in the house she thought she could call home.

(Backburner) - Beneath Tattered Flesh: In the hissing, polluted, Magic, and bronze city of Ritec, Caesar Dampton is trying to move forward. He's trying to get over a bad break-up, make ends meet, and help his best friend - Emersyn Riley - find her place in the world. Between running away from his ex, and trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life, Caesar is stuck in a downward spiral. Newt Gourdeau got the chance of a lifetime; a full scholarship to Verne Cobb University. Leaving their small town behind, they carved out a life for themself in the city of opportunities. They're trying to bury their problems in mystery novels, university studies, and attempting to find a scientific reason as to why some people in this world have Magic, while others don't. Their obsessions leave them in solitude for days. But when the unlikely pair see similar tragic events happen at the same time, but in different parts of the city, they stumble into each other's lives. Manipulation and death follow the two at every step, but they're both determined to get to the bottom of a gruesome mystery unfolding in the city... or die trying.

What I'm Looking For

As you could probably already tell, I'm not awesome at keeping myself "on schedule", which is code for "I sometimes let my life/anxiety/career/whatever eat away at my passion for writing and I'll abandon it for several months a time". Having a place to post updates, or even just little rambles, really helps me out.

So in all honesty, if you're interested in what you see, then feel free to stick around! I'd love to chat, do fun word tags, and just be in a community of like-minded people.

Thanks for reading!

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About The First Doctor's Run

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and sometimes draw comics and cartoons.

So, I’ve made a discovery…Almost every episode of Classic Doctor Who is available FOR FREE on Tubi! You know what this means?!

“More people can watch the early beginnings of the most iconic sci-fi series of all time?”

That AND I can finally review Doctor Who as a whole!

I won’t lie, this has been something I’ve wanted to do for a WHILE. Either as a ranking of each Doctor or a ranking of their best episodes, I’ve been wanting to go in depth with this series for SO LONG. And since the odds are I WON’T become a writer for television like I’ve always dreamed, I might as well talk about my favorite TV shows! Starting with the son of a bitch who started it all: The First Doctor.

Here’s what I know about the First Doctor: Next to nothing. My experience with The Doctor as a whole started all the way with Number Nine, with the only taste of One being through that Christmas Special a few years back. He’s definitely more cynical and rude than present Doctors, but this is way back in his early beginnings. NO ONE knew what direction this character would take years later and just focussed on making an interesting character NOW. Er, then? Now? Then?

Eh, bibbly-bobbly.

The point is that I’m going to TRY and not be biased with One, look at him as if I were right there in 1963. Unfortunately, unlike everyone ELSE in the sixties, I don’t have access to all the episodes. During 1968-1978, most tapes that held Doctor Who episodes were reused for new film or deleted completely for space, leaving NINETY-SEVEN episodes erased from time forever and causing twenty-six serials either gone completely or incomplete. It’s basically what streaming services and studios are doing nowadays, but without pirating sites as a safety net to preserve the art from being COMPLETELY lost. Now, there are some audio tracks saved for commercial release that feature still images or commissioned animation, but that’s not the case for every episode, unfortunately. So things are going to get a little…weird for this review. For now, I’ll say that I’m going to stick to what’s on Tubi and improvise with what’s NOT on there. Also, I’m not going to go through every single episode. Just share my thoughts on each serial as a WHOLE, mainly because those practically add up to modern episodes anyway, just an hour or two longer.

Now, with that said, let’s take a step back in time as we discuss the first adventures with our first Doctor.

Decades Old Spoilers Below

THE SERIALS

We’ll begin by going in order of each serial, starting with his first adventure and ending with his last. Helps go through this journey together.

The Unearthly Child: Okay, full disclosure, this one’s NOT on Tubi, so I had to look it up through…other means. But to be fair, it’s not like I could just IGNORE The Doctor’s very first adventure. It’s here we see a sort of formula that still remains constant to this day. The Doctor meets new companions, they become shocked by how the TARDIS is bigger on the inside, they go to a place that’s filled with a temporary cast of disposable characters, and are forced to solve a problem for them or die trying. Of course, some things are different, and not just the inside of the TARDIS. The fact that The Doctor had a granddaughter was mind blowing and left me wondering what happened to her since she never showed up ONCE in the revival. And The Doctor was…surprisingly inactive despite being the titular character. He caused more problems than fixed them, like being the reason everyone was trapped in the Stone Age and later becoming the person who needed to be rescued. Honestly, Ian proved himself more as the leading man than The Doctor did throughout the whole ordeal, calling the shots and even being the one who came up with the plan that got them OUT of danger. Even when taking account that this was just the show starting out, it seems weird that the titular character isn’t the one who leads the group and is instead the whiney bitch that the others just tell themselves to ignore. As for the adventure, it’s pretty dull. Granted, you need to introduce audiences to the concept of time travel by showing them something easy to grasp like going back to the stone age. You gotta save weirder stuff for the future episodes. But the characters getting chased around by cavemen isn’t really that engaging, and it REALLY drags down a lot by part four where the conflict feels stretched out to meet the full twenty-three minutes. Overall, not that great of a first introduction but most of the best series of television rarely start off perfect. The question is if it makes me want to see more, and…it honestly doesn’t. If not for the knowledge of what the series would eventually become, I’m not sure WHY someone would stick around. But the Doctor Who fan in me is strong so I say we keep charging on.

The Daleks: The first encounter with The Daleks, the Doctor’s WORST enemies, and the serial is much better because of it. It’s actually interesting to see how these villains began with how simple they are to fight, the fact that they don’t INSTANTLY kill others they attack, and how they actually keep PRISONERS. And the serial does a great job at showing how they’re definite menaces to be feared, but not impossible to defeat, creating decent tension as the characters try to fight back literal killing machines. I also love how every character throughout the serial does something important, especially The Doctor who manages to do much more this time than whine and complain as he actually uses his intelligence to help his companions out of this troublesome situation. Although, he’s still the jackass that got them all trapped in this situation all for the sake of exploring a town that they know NOTHING about. There’s definite improvements to his character this time, but The Doctor being the cause for their current conflict is not one of them. And while we’re on complaints, this serial STILL feels like it stretches its adventure out for the sake of making the serial longer than it should be. There’s some definite excitement in the first half with our core four characters trying to escape the Daleks, but this serial still didn’t need to be seven gosh dang episodes long. I feel like there’s some meat to be cut out with making the Thals stand up for themselves, conceiving a plan of attack, and invading the Daleks’ base. Other than that, this is still a pretty decent serial filled with great tension from the Daleks and strong chemistry and dynamics between our core four. It’s definitely stronger than the last serial and a MUCH better introduction to the series. No wonder it’s the one that Tubi has.

The Edge of Destruction: A nice, short mystery where the first half does really well in making you feel as disoriented as the rest of the cast. There’s this solid unease where you’re not sure what’s going on and you’re left to pick up the pieces, bit by bit, to figure out what happened and if there’s anyone or anything responsible for this mess. Although, part two tends to fall a tad short because most of the clues we got were then explained to the audience and then given this big explanation that came out of left field because the biggest clue wasn’t revealed yet. So as a mystery, it definitely isn’t strong. Though, I do like how The Doctor is the one to figure things out and save the day in this serial. Sure, him being antagonistic towards the others wasn’t great but I enjoy how The Doctor has finally warmed up to his companions and that it’s implied that he no longer chooses to be suspicious of them. So while the mystery fell short, I can’t complain when it improves The Doctor’s character.

Marco Polo: Unavailable on Tubi due to the BBC deleting episodes. Yeah, unfortunately, this is our FIRST serial that can’t be seen in its entirety through official means…Though, no one said anything about using transcripts.

HAHA! Loophole! Because while I’m not going to steal audio-only episodes for the sake of reviews, who’s going to stop me from READING. It’s not stealing episodes if I’m just reading what happens! Although, unfortunately, it only gives me a PART of the picture. I won’t understand performances or fully grasp how characters look, but it’s no different from strictly LISTENING. There’s a lot that unfortunately goes missing when a visual media loses its visuals, and for a case like this it’s best to work with what we have. And what I have is the story pretty much described to me by someone else. It’s not preferable, but it IS what I can do for these times. Remember this every time a studio deletes episodes or entire shows off its platforms.

With that said, based on what I’ve read…Yeah, this one DRAGS. It’s The Doctor and company being forced to move from place to place and dealing with Marco Polo as they do. Doesn’t sound too bad, but each place they go to follows a specific formula: Someone does something Polo doesn’t like, he voices displeasure about it, The Doctor and others argue their case, Tegana points out how they’re actually evil, and Marco Polo, who flips from being reasonably cautious and unreasonably stupid, constantly tells them to get out of his face while still dragging them off to the next location. This goes on for SEVEN EPISODES, each one making the whole serial feel way too long and way too repetitive. I kept hoping this would be the end of the serial and we could move on to the next, only for it to KEEP. F**KING. GOING! It’s so dull that I needed TWO DAYS to read through the damn thing. But maybe that’s the problem: I had to READ it. There might be subtleties in the VISUAL performance that better conveys Marco’s personality, even if it DOES seem to flip/flop on paper. Plus, there are some things like the set designs and special effects that a transcript could gloss over and not properly convey. And there are SOME nice bits like The Doctor trying (and failing) to win the TARDIS back in a game of backgammon, which is all kinds of fun. And Susan made an endearing friendship with Ping-Cho. Those two are surprisingly adorable together and it’s nice to see Susan make a connection with someone her own age. Other than that, though, if this wasn’t that great of a story on paper, the original serial better have some MIND BLOWING execution to make it great. Otherwise, maybe fans aren’t losing much if this serial is lost to time.

The Keys of Marinus: A pretty clever idea with this one. The story for this serial is that The Doctor and his companions are out searching for the titular Keys of Marinus, presenting a story that’s a fetch-quest, with each episode dedicated to the characters finding one key. It’s smart because instead of stretching out one adventure to make the serial longer, it connects four adventures through this loose thread, keeping audience interest up as everyone tries to get out of the danger of the week. It’s fairly effective, filled with great moments like Barbara trying to save the core four from being brainwashed into mindless zombies, the entirety of “The Snows of Terror,” and The Doctor solving a murder. It’s all good fun, but not without some problems. An episode like “The Screaming Jungle” feels like it needs more time as there’s a lot of ideas that don't live up to its full potential or come out of nowhere. Like, a living jungle SOUNDS cool, but it only really comes into fruition until the end. There’s also the fact that the search for the last key feels stretched out because the writers didn’t realize soon enough that the finale for this serial was too short so they made the final hunt longer to compensate. But what bothers me the most is that The Doctor just…leaves the hunt just to spend time in a more civilized society. It works out for the murder mystery, but it also feels weird that the titular character bows out for two whole episodes, leaving his companions to do all of the work he neglects. Honestly, at this point, I’d say Ian should be the one the show is named after with how well he leads the party and even comes up with a clever plan to stop the big bads. And I know I keep harping on it, but why name the show Doctor Who when that same doctor hardly helps? Still, “The Keys of Marinus” is a fun serial that leads to solid short tales, even if there were some rough steps along the way.

The Aztecs: Oh, this one’s racist, isn’t it…? You know what? I’m as white as a ping-pong ball and have the patience of a goldfish to do proper research myself to make any judgments to decide something that I have no official standing on. So I won’t be the one to say what is and isn’t racist…Aside from the fact that those are obviously WHITE people playing the Aztecs.

But possible racism aside, this serial is more on the dull side. I do like this conflict between The Doctor and Barbara, where Barbara tries to change history for what she thinks is for the better (Which means changing the history and culture of Aztecs–Let’s not get into it) where The Doctor tries to convince her that there’s no way to change history. Future episodes continue to dive deep into the idea that history cannot be altered no matter what the characters want, and it’s interesting to see one of the first instances where the characters learn this the hard way. I also love how it ends on this idea that while they couldn’t change what happened, they still touched the lives of those they’ve made relationships with, meaning that it ALL wasn’t a loss. It’s a shining light of optimism within the tragedy that becomes a reoccuring theme through a lot of future episodes, and I love it each time. But other than that, this serial is another one that DRAGS. It’s just The Doctor and his companions screwing around with Aztecs for two hours while this boring subgroup conspired against them. It makes the whole serial feel like it’s running in place for too long, and I feel like if it cut out ONE episode or maybe shorten it down to two, the serial could be stronger for it. It’s also weird how Barbara is, like, a different person in this. Like, I get it, she’s acting like a goddess, but she seems TOO good at her performance, almost as if the writers wrote her as an ACTUAL goddess and not a character PRETENDING to be one. It feels off a lot of the time, and it’s just one more thing that makes this serial weak. Even though I like the idea of characters trying to fight hard to change history, that’s something done MUCH better in the future. It’s a charming first attempt, but not one I’m willing to revisit.

The Sensorites: A pretty…substandard serial. The titular Sensorites start off pretty scary and intimidating, being unlike anything the show has produced so far in this run. It presents a bit of uncanny horror for a good while…But then the serial reveals that they’re mostly peaceful creatures, aside from a few devious outliers, who actually need help. It’s a decent twist that also leads to The Doctor being the most active he’s ever been. The way he goes about finding a cure for this mysterious illness and taking charge in dealing with any dangerous Sensorite made it feel like, for the first time, he deserves to have the show named after him. I like it…but it doesn’t stop the serial feeling like it’s a little aimless at times, almost as if it’s drifting by for six episodes. We get some good stuff from it, but storywise it feels like we’re just bouncing from scene to scene as if the writers are making stuff up as they go and presenting coincidences that foil some villains’ plans. And then there’s this out of nowhere idea that this subgroup of humans lived under the Sensorites for so long, but there was never any indication of this and it’s presented in the VERY LAST episode, making it an almost pointless idea that went nowhere. I’m glad to see The Doctor become more  of a leading man, but I would have preferred it in a better, more coherent serial.

The Reign of Terror: MOST of the serial is intact…aside from two episodes. Meaning that it’s incomplete and not available on Tubi, so…ONTO THE TRANSCRIPT!

On paper, this whole thing seems like a drag. It starts interestingly enough with The Doctor being separated from his companions as they’re taken prisoner during the French Revolution. It leads to Ian, Barbara, and Susan trying to escape while The Doctor tries to reunite with them (instead of pissing off for half the serial), creating this situation where everyone’s putting in the work as they share the same goal. The problem is that, like the REST of the serials before, the characters fart around for too long just to stretch the story out to reach a goal. They will escape and then get recaptured for the sake of forced tension, and by the time Susan and Barbara were in prison again I just wanted the serial to come close to an end. Thankfully, by then, there were two episodes left, but it doesn’t change how it’s all two episodes too long. The only thing to catch my intrigue later was Barbara wishing they could help Robespierre from getting killed and The Doctor reminding her that they can’t change history. I still love an idea like that, but here, it happens near the very end and there’s barely enough time to appreciate it or dive deep into it. In fact, this could have been a great “Can’t mess with the past” episode, but it’s just…the characters trying to escape a situation and spending too long on it. The worst part is that this is the Season One finale, the time to go for broke, and it’s just…the same old thing with the same old problems as previous serials. Maybe it worked better visually or even through audio, but on paper it’s just as slow and boring as ever. Hopefully the next season starts big.

Planet of Giants: Huh. Guess it did. Just…literally.

Jokes aside, I am impressed with the set design in this serial. I can tell everyone worked so hard to set the scale, making you feel how small these characters are. Sure, you can tell exactly HOW it was done, but for the sixties this all must have been mind blowing work, especially for a TV show. As for the story, it’s…adequate. The characters are trying to prevent these two men from making an insecticide that could do more harm than good while also trying to find their way back to the TARDIS to reverse their size. It’s not the BIGGEST (ha) danger in the world and it’s something they could have stopped easily at normal size. If they focussed on growing again, they could have stopped the main evil prick within seconds, so the majority of the serial is just them messing around by trying to stop him while they’re an inch tall. And there’s also the fact that Barabara held the idiot ball throughout the serial, touching something in a lab when she shouldn’t have and keeping that information to herself for far too long. Like, WHY didn’t she tell the others she was infected with the insecticide? We never got an answer for that and it’s kind of frustrating as it adds unnecessary tension to a serial that doesn’t really need it. The characters trying to get big again is more than enough, we don’t need a nefarious plot about an insecticide gone wrong or one of the characters getting sick from it. But while the story definitely could use some improvements, the set design really does carry it, being an impressive visual display even if it’s for an inferior serial.

The Dalek Invasion of Earth: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, so THAT’S what happened to Susan…Anyways, the best way I could describe this serial is two steps forward and one step back. The cinematography is impressive, looking like a feature film at times with dynamic shots and cool ways that the camera follows the characters. BUT the direction seems to be all over the place. Most of the time, it’s fine, but then you get stuff like actors interrupting or talking over each other or moments where peripheral view is…not a thing. There’s even a part where a Dalek is looking RIGHT AT THE DOCTOR as it’s moving away…and it just continues moving onward as if nothing happened. It’s actually kind of hilarious at times. And speaking of the Daleks, this serial did a great job showcasing how threatening and evil they can really be. The twisted way they used humans as slaves to destroy a planet is sick and seeing how that broke the human mind and ruined their families proved that the Daleks are nothing to be messed with. The problem is that the serial shows how easily they can be messed with. Like, even if they doubt the intelligence of normal Earth people, it’s not a smart plan to have a way for them to escape their prison cell WITHIN THE CELL ITSELF! And how is it that they can blast away people no problem but struggle with the robot slaves they made? I don’t know how it’s possible, but this serial manages to make these tin salt shakers MORE and LESS terrifying. On the upside, our heroes are at least competent in this adventure. Much like the last encounter with the Daleks, everyone does something of value, only this time they’re all split up to accomplish their own task that actually helps the others in a way they wouldn’t expect. It DOES feel like some plot lines are a little aimless with some of our cast waffling about a little longer than they should, but it all leads to a great ending when they reunite once more. 

And, of course, there’s the sad departure of Susan. It’s performed well and does a decent job of making me FEEL a little sad when The Doctor allows Susan to leave so she can live a life of her own without being forced to travel everywhere with him. I liked it…though I do have issues with how the reason that she wants to leave is because she fell in love with a man she’s known for a few days. It’s part of the writing of the sixties, I know that, but it doesn’t change how WEIRD it feels that Susan is willing to give up everything she knows for someone she recently met. So while I enjoyed the scene, it felt very flawed, which is the same for the whole serial. I enjoyed it a lot, but there were a few imperfections here and there that made “The Dalek Invasion of Earth” a messy, albeit fun, serial.

The Rescue: This was a blessedly short serial. The big twist was fairly easy to figure out after Part One, and if this serial was stretched out for more than two parts it would hurt it significantly. We don’t need four parts of the characters farting around, picking up little clues, and then solving the big crisis within minutes. So having the story last for about two episodes leaves for a brief adventure that works well on its own while also introducing the audience to Vicki. And I’ll admit…I’m not too sure about Vicki in this serial. She comes across as a less competent Susan who cries more and doesn’t have the same intrigue Susan did as being The Doctor’s granddaughter. It’s obvious that she’s there as a replacement for the “The Young One” in the group and it doesn’t work for me. What DOES work is how The Doctor is presented, as he acts much more like The Doctor I know now. He’s active towards figuring out what’s going on, caring towards Vicki and consoling her when she needs it, and is the one to confront Bennett in the climax of the serial. I do like how it’s sort of a slow burn with The First Doctor, showing him eventually grow from the bitter old man who couldn’t care less about anyone else to a more kind and proactive character due to the adventures he went on with his companions and the people that they meet. I still say it was off to name the show after the guy who didn’t do much, but The Doctor’s slowly earning his role as the leading man and I enjoyed that this is one of the earlier starts of them becoming the hero we know now. So while this is a standard serial, it does give us one of the better presentations of The First Doctor.

The Romans: *INSERT DATED ROMAN EMPIRE JOKE HERE*

Anywho, this one’s pretty entertaining. There’s basically two sides of this serial’s story: The Doctor and Vicki hanging out with Nero and his hysterical nonsense and Ian and Barbara being stuck in the slave trade…Yeah, probably sounds like the tones would heavily clash with this one, but it surprisingly flows well. You laugh at the hijinks of The Doctor acting as a close friend towards Nero while feeling empathy for Barbara and Ian as they’re forced into the worst possible position in Rome. There’s even equal attention to both plotlines, making them balance each other out fairly well that leads to the serial feeling fast but fun. The only thing that drags it down is how it begins and ends. The cut between the TARDIS falling and The Doctor and Ian chilling out in Roman attire felt jarring. Same goes for the reveal that they willingly stayed in Rome for a whole month instead of focussing all attention on fixing the TARDIS. I suppose it would come across as a pleasant holiday, but then they say they’ve been hanging out in someone else’s house while they were away and that’s…odd. It’s odd that it worked out like that for a whole month. Same goes with the ending, where The Doctor feels giddy at causing the fire of Rome. Even for the First Doctor, it doesn’t seem right that they would take joy in causing such destruction and mayhem. But aside from the problems in the beginning and the end, everything in the middle of the serial offered great entertainment for a pleasant viewing for me.

The Web Planet: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY EARS! For whatever bizarre reason or another, SOMEONE decided to give these giant ants the most ear-piercingly irritating sound for how they communicate. It was already grating by the first episode, yet they still thought it was a good idea to use the same sound, continuously, FOR SIX EPISODES! Halfway through the third, I genuinely considered skipping the rest of the serial entirely because I couldn’t STAND those f**king ants! Thankfully, I remembered that subtitles were a thing, so I just played the rest of the serial on mute and just read the subtitles. Trust me when I say that is the only way to make the damn thing watchable. And even then, it’s not that great of a serial anyways. It’s the characters helping these anthropomorphic bugs with slightly less annoying (but still pretty annoying) voices in a rebellion against the ants. I’m all about it, because screw those things, but it’s still a bog-standard adventure with some admittedly impressive costumes and effects for the time. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I couldn’t stand LISTENING to this episode, but I would have been completely fine if this was one of the few serials lost to time.

The Crusade: Speaking of which, HALF of this serial is missing and not on Tubi either. So ONTO THE TRANSCRIPTS (Gosh dang it…)

I think the problem with this serial is made clear with how it begins. We have new characters talking about political nonsense as if we, the audience, should already know the context of what they’re saying. Then when we’re introduced to the core four, they’re thrown into the middle of a battle with no proper set-up that their conflict of Barbara getting kidnapped happened so fast that it barely registers. This slow pace of boring politics with characters we don’t know and fast paced attempts of Barbara trying to escape her kidnappers remains throughout this whole serial. MAYBE it was handled better visually, but the way the serial constantly introduces new characters to discuss politics while The Doctor and his companions are barely there makes the whole thing feel like its priorities are disjointed. There should be more focus on Barbara trying to escape while the others go out to save her, but there’s so much attention on the politics and trying so hard to be historically accurate or whatever and it…doesn’t keep my interest. Not to mention that the constant new characters to keep track of as they steal attention is not all that entertaining and causes the whole serial to seem like it forgets who the show’s really about. I just wanted it all to end, as I feel like this is one of those serials that aren’t better on paper nor through execution.

The Space Museum: This one starts off pretty confusing, first intentionally and then unintentionally. I’m just as lost as the characters are, wondering what happened to them and what’s to come of it. It effectively puts me in the mindset the serial wants me to have, but then they give this explanation that just makes my brain hurt when I try to think about it too long and hard. Thankfully, the premise that the serial tries to sell is simple enough to shrug off the nonsense of time and relative dimension or whatever the hell. Basically, The Doctor and his companions saw a vision of what COULD BE their future, and the whole serial is them trying to make sure that never comes to be. It’s a solid premise that’s effectively tense in a lot of scenes as the characters seemingly get closer to what could be an inevitable future. Added with some fun moments of The Doctor being a giggly old goof as he screws with his enemies and it’s a fun time. The only weak part is this subplot involving the most ineffective rebellion I’ve ever seen, where it’s a miracle that they survived this long until they received help from Vicki of all characters. Though, even then, the subplot does well to show how independent Vicki can be in a situation AND adds to the theme that a person’s future can be changed if they changed the lives of others. It’s a decent message that helps make the serial a surprisingly good time. And yeah, that ending sting made me excited for the next one. Speaking of…

The Chase: This was…not what I was expecting. In the last two encounters with The Daleks, it was a big, tense adventure with the characters struggling to find a way to beat them. Here, it’s more like “The Keys of Marinus,” a collection of small adventures as the characters are chased through space and time as they try to escape The Daleks. It’s less of an epic adventure and more of a mixed bag of fun escapades and…awkward distractions. For example, watching the characters get stuck in a haunted house or fighting a robotic Doctor can be entertaining, but them interacting with this weird, underground civilization or this man from Alabama just drag it to a halt. Thankfully, the worst of it is only in the first half, making it a serial that starts slow but picks up momentum as things go on. There’s also some decent money put into this, having some impressive sets that change each episode, some crazy special effects for the sixties (the part where there’s two Doctors still looks good), and some creative camera angles that give a more cinematic feel. I dare say that this would be an impressively put together serial that is mostly fun despite some awkwardness.

But the real meat of this is that “The Chase” ends with the departure of Ian and Barbara. I will admit, the pacing upon their exit felt a bit too fast, with their decision to leave coming out of nowhere and their return home not giving us enough time to appreciate them appreciating Earth. Although, as weird as the pacing is, The Doctor’s heartbreak to see them go is well-acted and believable. You can tell that he’s less upset about the risk that comes with using The Daleks’ time machine and more upset about the idea that they want to leave in the first place. It’s odd that he feels more upset over two humans than his granddaughter, but this is still a moment that introduces the tragedy of The Doctor. They’re a character that’s always on the move, going from one part of the universe to the next and having to say goodbye to every friend and companion they ever make. They WANT to keep company, but know that their companion’s departure is always inevitable. Yet it breaks their heart just the same. I FEEL that tragedy here way more than with Susan, where The Doctor seemed more than willing to let her live her life. But with Ian and Barbara, these two humans who left an impact on him, they’ll stick with The Doctor’s heart for a long time.

The Time Meddler: The premise of this one is great. A time-traveler disguised as a monk is screwing with time to make himself the most important person in the universe. And The Doctor, being the biggest defender of time and space, tries to stop him. It’s a perfect idea that fits perfectly with who The Doctor is while giving him a true foil that he won’t have again until meeting The Master. It’s actually a ton of fun watching what’s basically the Beta Master trying to mess with history just for the pure selfish reasons of self-importance. And I do say that the serial perfectly captures that idea…by Part Four. Yeah, the majority of the first three parts are about hinting at what The Monk has been doing and padding out the runtime with characters screwing around in the woods or the monastery. By the time we get to Part Four, it does work well with the premise, having The Doctor and The Monk try and outsmart each other for victory with The Doctor, of course,  coming out on top. And I’ll admit that it was great seeing The Doctor take charge without someone else stealing the show as the leading man. What, do you think that the new guy STEVEN is going to take Ian’s place as the take-charge companion? Get the hell out of here…

But, yeah, while the first three parts DRAG, “The Time Meddler” at least ends on a high enough note where I say it was worth the watch. I’ll likely only return to that final episode instead of watching the whole thing, but what are you gonna do?

Galaxy 4: Unfortunately, this is another that’s been deleted from history. HOWEVER, it’s still on Tubi…Sort of. Because the audio logs are still intact, they had the whole serial reanimated by Digitoonz Media & Entertainment. And it’s…distracting. Not because the animation is bad. I mean, yeah, it’s not GREAT, but what’s distracting about it is that the animators tried their hardest to give this serial a cinematic feel, having grandiose backgrounds and doing things the actors and set designers wouldn’t be capable of doing. It’s entertaining to see, but leaves me questioning what the original episodes would have looked like. Because there is NO WAY this animation is an EXACT reenactment of what happens. But I’m not really complaining because there are some good stuff that comes from making this serial animated, like having all of Maaga’s forces exact copies of one another or actually seeing the destruction of the planet as Maaga is forced to watch it fall apart around her. I like a lot of this stuff, despite the distractions. As for the story, it feels blessedly quick, albeit simple. I saw the twist of Maaga and her weird ass clones being the real evil a mile away, but this WAS likely one of the first instances when a story presents the nice looking creatures as evil where the ugly looking ones are good. I can give it a little leeway for that, especially since “Galaxy 4” makes it clear that it’s MAAGA who’s the real villain whereas her clones are more or less drones following orders to appease their crooked master. There’s actually a bit of tragedy to the clones where they don’t get a chance to think on their own and do what their master says because it’s all they know. It effectively makes you feel bad for them as you also feel grateful that Maaga dies knowing it was all for nothing. And, again, it all goes by fairly quickly, making a serial that feels short and to the point. I couldn’t ask for better and I REALLY wish there were more lost episodes that were animated. Would have at least made for a more unique experience than reading transcripts to ones that are lost.

Mission to the Unknown: Speak of the devil! At least it’s only ONE episode…And a pretty decent one at that.

This is the first time where we don’t follow The Doctor or any of their companions, but instead some one-off characters. This would happen on occasion, with one of the most popular examples being the episode “Blink,” showing great tension as we watch these characters try to survive without a Doctor to save them. It’s no different here, as “Mission to the Unknown” features two men trying to warn the galaxy of a master plan of the Daleks, setting up a future serial while also standing well on its own for a quick adventure that ends in unfortunate death. It doesn’t give us enough time to really CARE about them, but that might have something to do with me reading it too fast. It’s still a solid episode that leaves one fearing for what’s to come later.

The Myth Makers: And another for the transcripts. Son of a bitch…

It’s not easy to tell strictly through text, but I think this is meant to be a more comedic adventure. In past serials like “Marco Polo” and “The Crusade,” they bore me by forcing in politics and dull characters, likely for the sake of “Historical accuracy.” Here, it’s The Doctor and his companions dealing with idiots on both sides of the Trojan War, with historical accuracy most definitely thrown out the window as people are more familiar with the version in Homer’s Odyssey. It is much more entertaining to see The Doctor try to appeal to the whims of a meathead like Odysseus and watching Priam and his family bicker about Cassandra and the legitimacy of her visions, rather than getting lost in the politics. It’s fun, but I’m curious if it’s meant to be. You have obvious comedic moments like Steven’s quickly failed rescue attempt and Menelaus wanting a drink after hearing The Doctor’s Trojan Horse plan, but the majority of the lines also don’t strike me as TOO humorous. That’s largely because the way an actor delivers a line versus how it’s written can give two different reactions, and it’s why READING the lines doesn’t leave as big of a comedic punch as hearing an actor say it in a funny way.

“Well, then listen to the audio versions.”

I’VE READ SO MANY TRANSCRIPTS AT THIS POINT! I’M IN TOO DEEP NOW!

But I will say that if the point WAS to make this adventure more comedic, then it makes the inevitable fall of Troy feel all the more tragic. I didn’t want the Trojans to die! They were FUNNY! And because they made me laugh a little, it hurt seeing them killed, even if I should have expected from the beginning.

One thing I didn’t expect, though, was that this was Vicki’s departure. Which I wouldn’t have minded if not for how it’s weirdly unceremoniously done. There’s no final goodbye and it feels like it breezes past The Doctor saying he’ll miss her. And her reasoning is just…dull. She leaves because she liked a boy, much like how SUSAN left. I guess there WAS a bit of foreshadowing given how Priam changes Vicki’s name to Cressida, a female character in retellings of the Trojan War who famously falls for Troilus. But even then, it still feels weak and even strange that Vicki would willingly choose to stay in a time she doesn’t live in for Troilus, a boy she knew for about two days. I know it’s something that just…happens back then in 60s fiction, but makes for an off addition to an already entertaining serial.

The Daleks’ Master Plan: SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, this is the LONGEST serial yet! Possibly the longest serial in the show’s history! And the weirdest part is that only three episodes of it still exist, which is crazy not only because of the length but also because it features The Daleks. Even back then, it’s pretty clear that The Daleks are the fan favorite villains of the series, with the writers inserting them in when they can. And you would think that major characters such as them would be more valuable to protect, but no. All we have are mostly audio logs…And transcripts for yours truly.

Which is a shame too, because…this is a frickin’ GOOD one! Quite possibly the best serial I’ve ever read yet! The plot is basically characters playing keep away from each other, chasing after this insanely impressive element that The Daleks want to use for another doomsday weapon. And I just loved that the second The Doctor saw The Daleks, he knew that they needed to be stopped. He wasn’t forced into it or was trying to survive The Daleks attacking first. After three whole adventures of dealing with them, The Doctor finally put two and two together to realize that The Daleks just existing is enough to know that nothing good can come from it. So he takes charge on an adventure that’s definitely a little too long but reads as incredibly grand. It’s sort of a repeat of “The Chase,” where The Doctor and company go from place to place, planet to planet, so they can avoid The Dalek’s capture, but there’s some things that make this serial stronger. For one, the stakes feel real this time, with characters who assist The Doctor and Steven on their journey getting killed unceremoniously or tragically. You’re given enough time with Bret, Katarina, and Sara that when they meet their end for the sake of saving the group, it makes you feel a little something. The whole serial comes to a close with this idea that while victory was met in the end, The Doctor and Steven still take a moment to reflect on the lives they lost to win. It really sets how grim and deadly this adventure was, showing characters could die whether they’re ones you care about or even enemies to The Doctor. Speaking of, this serial also works in giving more unique foes outside of STRICTLY The Daleks. You have Chen, an arrogant and egotistical dilweed who’s maniac drive to be ruler of the Universe and doing anything to get it makes you enjoy his untimely demise all the more. There’s even a surprise return of The Monk, who sets himself more as this pathetic failure of a villain as he stumbles constantly to one-up The Doctor only to be outsmarted every turn. Both mix things up well while also making it clear that The Daleks are the real threats as Chen and The Monk follow every command due to fearing for their safety. It helps make the serial feel like a more unique adventure compared to past ones with The Daleks, adding more life, energy, and intensity to it. The only time I was taken out of the whole thing was this random Christmas special that got inserted halfway through. It distracted from the plot way too long and was filled with jokes that were probably funny VISUALLY and maybe AUDIBLY, but not so much when you’re reading it…like I did. Still, that’s ONE episode in a twelve episode long serial. Being entertained with eleven out of twelve episodes is still a great feat that makes “The Daleks’ Master Plan” a masterclass serial. Now can we go back to actually WATCHING these episodes again?

The Massacre: Guess not…

And this one’s one of the worst, if not THE worst. “The Massacre” has the same problems as “The Crusade.” So much of this serial is focussing on the politics of the historical event taking place, watching these characters you barely give a shit about with the main cast you love getting pushed to the sidelines. Except that while “The Crusade” had the charming cast of THE DOCTOR, Ian, Barbara, and even Vicki, “The Massacre” focuses on Steven. And I’ll get into the specifics in a moment, but I do NOT care for Steven. So to have four episodes focusing on boring historical politics and a character I do not like, it’s pretty easy to pick up why I dislike this serial the most out of all of them. I’m not kidding when I say that the best part about it is the moment where it seemed like Steven was leaving. Before you say anything, it’s not because it gave me hope that Steven was gone for good…Okay, it’s partially because of that, but it’s mostly because of this moment where The Doctor reflects on the people in his life and how he misses them. He even corrects HIMSELF when getting Ian’s last name wrong, showing us that he cares enough to get it right now because he misses his friend. It’s a bittersweet moment that proves how much The Doctor loves each companion they’ve made, even the first few people they’ve met in this first life. It was beautiful…and then it got undercut immediately to introduce Dodo and shove Steven back in as he changed his mind. The one thing I liked about this serial, and it’s ruined by itself. Yeah, this one’s definitely the worst, and I’m not missing it.

The Ark: FINALLY, something I don’t have to READ!

“The Ark” surprised me for a second. I knew going in that it was a four-part-long serial, but by the time Part Two met its end I was confused. It seemed like the story was wrapping up as The Doctor and company cured a ship of the common cold and went off to a new adventure. Only for the TARDIS to appear in the same exact spot many years later with a new problem caused by their actions in the past. Already, I love this premise. We almost never return to the same place twice with The Doctor, where after they save people from this great threat they always head off, assuming everything is fine. This is the first time we actually see what happened to the people that The Doctor saved, only to find out something worse happened to them. It’s a solid premise with good enough execution. I like that this whole thing started with an accident. Dodo just happened to have a cold and didn’t expect the consequences that could come to a species that never experienced it. It puts The Doctor and company in a situation where you don’t BLAME them for what happened but you understand that they have to clean up this mess they caused. I also find it brilliant that the first half of the serial has The Doctor and his companions dealing with rouge Guardians and the second is rouge Monoids, giving this message that both parties aren’t innocent creatures and that peace can only be made when they learn to live together instead of treating one species as slaves. It’s a bit muddled as we don’t really see much of the extent that the Guardians treat the Monoids and how disrespected they are. It gives the idea that the creepy-looking creatures who look different are more at fault, especially since the human Guardians are the ones who assist The Doctor in both halves. There’s never any assistance from the Monoids, which makes it feel like peace might not be the best option. I wouldn’t harp on it if not for the fact that several serials back in “Galaxy 4,” we had the same message of “The ugly ones aren’t evil” with decent results. Still, the idea and meaning is clear as no one’s really, wholly good. Just could have used some cleaning up on showing the good side of the Monoids, making “The Ark” having a strong story ARC.

HAHAHA–Kill me. Next one!

The Celestial Toymaker: All but the last part of this serial is missing, so…onto the transcripts.

I mean it, kill me.

(I don’t actually mean it. Just…been doing this for a while)

This serial introduces The Toymaker, a character that would only reappear once more…fifty-seven years later with the incomparable Niel Patrick Harris playing the role. And speaking as someone who got introduced to this character through NPH doing random accents and a random ass dance sequence to “Spice Up Your Life,” I wasn’t sure what to expect from the version in the sixties. Turns out, while he’s not as bombastic and jovial as Niel Patrick Harris, The Toymaker is still the most unique villain that The Doctor and others have come across so far. The Doctor isn’t kidding when he says that The Toymaker loves using people as his playthings, sending out dolls, board games, playing cards, and all sorts of other traps to entertain himself with The Doctor and his companions. And while Steven and Dodo aren’t the best duo in the world,, they’re at least paired up with despicable and hilariously incompetent antagonists as The Toymaker sends out his toys against them. You’re entertained by them, but at the same time you feel bad for them when they fail because they’re all trapped souls captured by The Toymaker. Or are they? The serial cleverly keeps you guessing whether or not these toys were once people, leaving it up to interpretation on if it’s all a part of a trick he’s playing. It adds a bit of tragedy to the goofs and gags, which I certainly appreciate. Then you have The Doctor’s game with The Toymaker that adds intensity, as he’s trying his best to stall to win the game until Steven and Dodo find the TARDIS. And, sure, I would have loved MORE to actually SEE The Doctor beat The Toymaker in a battle of wits as opposed to watching Steven and Dodo going through a goofy, silly adventure, I’m not complaining too much for the end result. “The Celestial Toymaker” is still an incredibly entertaining serial that has every character working well together to survive and being competent as they win their own game. Although, I do have to call nonsense towards Fourteen in “The Giggle.” Saying that cheating is the last thing The Toymaker would do when that’s all he does in this serial…Nonsense.

The Gunfighters: This serial finds the characters in a wild, wild west adventure, and this one’s definitely meant to be a more entertaining ride rather than an epic adventure with huge stakes. You’ve got fun stuff like Steven being forced to sing at gunpoint, an outlaw playing dentist as he rips out The Doctor’s tooth, Dodo fainting as she attempts to hold a man at gunpoint, and British people trying to do western accents. It’s definitely a good time, but it also feels like the writers leaned too hard into this being a western. All the tropes and cliches seem present and it’s definitely enjoyable, but it doesn’t feel like a Doctor Who story. The characters are pretty much in the background as we follow the narrative threads of these outlaws and a sheriff. Sure, they’re entertaining as well and don’t make the serial drag like “The Crusade” and “The Massacre” did, but at the cost of abandoning who we really follow this series for: The Doctor and his companions. What’s crazy is that ten (eleven?) regenerations later, The Doctor would go on another wild west adventure, facing down a space robot playing bounty hunter as The Doctor protects a town that’s inexperienced with this kind of threat. Not only does that episode have a concept that works perfectly for this show but it makes the story revolve around The Doctor and his companions trying to save this town. In “The Gunfighters,” The Doctor and company are pretty much absent for most of the story, either being dragged along by characters with more narrative importance, or stepping out of the entire climax. And yes, there are instances when the show follows random characters for the entirety of a story, but that’s still done in a way that it feels like it matches the show. Like how in “Mission of the Unknown,” where we follow characters trying desperately to stop The Daleks. Goofy or intense sci-fi nonsense and seeing The Doctor and co. reacting to history is what makes Doctor Who one of the most engaging science fiction shows ever made. While a western can be entertaining, something like “The Gunfighters” tends to make you forget what show you’re watching.

The Savages: Deleted. And a shame too, because this is another good one. The concept of this civilized society using living people as an energy source is already chilling, and the serial does well in showing how messed up it is for the supposed Savages. Though, if this was written in Modern Doctor Who, I feel like  the results of this power draining would be MUCH darker. Especially if Steven Moffat wrote the episode (The sick bastard). As is, it’s still great with how they made the power draining as dark as it could be for the sixties, all while adding a classist message that still manages to work NOW with its themes of the high and mighty sucking the life of what they think is savage. I love it and I also adore how The Doctor quickly picked up on how sick this whole idea is, wanting to shut the whole thing down immediately. THAT’S The Doctor I know, and it’s pretty fun that what saved the day is their leader taking some of The Doctor’s essence. Even when temporarily beaten, The Doctor still wins.

It’s all pretty great, but do you wanna know what’s better? STEVEN! IS! GONE!

Again, I’ll get to WHY later, but I am so glad to see Steven go. He wasn’t really the best companion out there and it is pretty nice that in his last adventure with The Doctor it’s all about Steven finally learning how to be useful. It’s to better sell that he’d be a capable leader to these people and…under his leadership, they’d probably die, but I can take it. Seeing Steven gone makes me willing to accept any nonsense of making him a leader and it’s nice that the show lets him leave with dignity. Even with the worst companions, it’s great the show at least treats them as people and lets ones like Steven leave happy enough instead of injecting him out the airlock or something. His departure is very welcomed and makes this serial stand out a little higher.

The War Machines: The final serial available on Tubi, and it’s…alright? Yeah, I honestly have no strong feelings one way or the other towards this one. The premise itself is what I love to see in Doctor Who, as this machine meant to help humanity ends up wanting to conquer it, with The Doctor being a key factor in securing the victory only to become the machine’s downfall. It’s all decent enough, with actors doing well at portraying these disturbingly obedient human puppets and there being some impressive puppetry on display with WANTON’s war machines. But as decent as it all is, none of it really WOWED me. The techno babble that The Doctor used to explain how he outsmarted and bested the war machines lost me due to how convoluted it was. Same goes for how WANTON was able to hypnotize human beings. I don’t even know if it was ever explained because of how much non-scientific science was thrown in this entire serial. It’s the central part of this entire premise, and it makes little sense how a computer was able to hypnotize anyone, even if it was supposedly advanced.

Another thing that bothers me about this serial is that this is supposed to be Dodo’s exit. She’s out for half the adventure and doesn’t even get to say goodbye in person. She just takes a nap, lets her replacements do most of the work, and then she’s gone for good. It feels cheap and gives her the weakest exit out of any companion in this run. Possibly the weakest exit ever. It’s another little aspect that makes the serial not BAD but not outstanding, either.

The Smugglers: Not much to say about this one. Just a fast romp as The Doctor and his companions fend off pirates in their hunt for a legendary treasure. It drags a little bit and there’s a lot of flip-flopping in terms of certain characters’ loyalty, but it has some fun moments, like The Doctor outsmarting opponents and Ben and Polly proving their worth as companions fairly quickly. Not a spectacular adventure, but entertaining enough.

The Tenth Planet: Here it is. The final serial in the First Doctor’s run…And it’s incomplete.

Yeah, the final adventure with William Hartnell’s Doctor, and you can’t see it in its entirety. You can watch the first three parts, but the fourth? Not a chance. It’s quite disappointing and, you know what? If I could cheat with his first adventure, I can cheat with his last. Let’s use “other means” than Tubi to watch those first three episodes and read what happens next.

And I’ll just say…it’s ALMOST perfect. It has a STRONG premise, introducing the Cybermen, a longtime enemy of The Doctor. It was so fascinating to see how humanlike these monsters began, moving and speaking like everyday men just with a slight robotic lean to it. It actually makes the more robotic, emotionless Cybermen more chilling in the modern age as it now becomes clear that the Cybermen perfected their goal to be more robot than human. The serial also cleverly makes it where the Cybermen aren’t the ONLY threat. I truly love that the bitter and impulsive General Cutler is just as much of an antagonist as the Cybermen are, with his desire to kill them before they kill Earth being potentially more damaging if he ever got away with his plans. It goes along with a recurring theme of this show in the modern age where those who try to be the victor in an unnecessary war tend to destroy themselves. Cutler dies because he attracted Cybermen attention with the warhead and the Cybermen die because their planet burned up when they could have asked for assistance with their problem instead of destroying the Earth for survival. It’s handled really well, with Polly and Ben still continuing to be useful additions to the cast as they do all they can to stop both Cutler and the Cybermen. Mainly because they have to with The Doctor checking out for when things get their most deadly.

Speaking of, the one thing that holds the serial back is The First Doctor’s exit. This was his final adventure, and he doesn’t do much aside from telling people what to do and taking a nap. By the time his regeneration begins, it all goes by so fast that it feels like he’s being rushed out the door. In a way…he kind of is. Due to age catching up with him, William Hartnell was forced to leave the show because his memory problems and exhaustion were getting difficult to film around. So now they had to get him out of the show for his own good, all while making one last serial as a final goodbye to this actor. However, it doesn’t change how…off his farewell feels. He’s not the triumphant hero who stopped The Cybermen and he didn’t get any final words to make his goodbye feel haunting or bittersweet. Future Doctors got this chance, even ones who decided to leave on their own accord like David Tennant or Matt Smith. It’s actually kind of sad that William Hartnel didn’t get the same treatment and that the writers would only learn their lesson for FUTURE generations. His flawed departure is the one thing that holds back what is admittedly a well-made serial.

And that’s it. That’s the last adventure with The First Doctor. But before I talk about my overall thoughts with this man, I should first discuss some other characters. Characters who are important to any Doctor no matter WHO (haha) they are…

THE COMPANIONS

Doctor Who would not be the show that it is without the companions. They’re frequently the audience surrogates, experiencing new adventures alongside The Doctor while assisting them across space and time. One thing that Chris Chibnall did correctly is point out that the companions are the true power of The Doctor and are worth talking about within the same breath. However, it DOES get a little tricky on who’s considered a companion or not. And trust me when I say it’ll get trickier as time goes on. So, for the sake of sanity, I’ll say that a companion is a recurring character who travels with The Doctor in the TARDIS and is there for more than one episode (Or serial, in this case). With those rules that I’ll probably break in the future out of the way, let’s begin with each companion as they left us.

Susan: I have…complicated feelings towards Susan. She had great chemistry within the group, did well as the wide-eyed, naive child who was excited for everything, and I was truly sad to see her go…But while my heart was sad, my ears were eternally grateful.

Yeah, as sweet a character as Susan is, she wouldn’t. Stop. F**KING. SCREAMING. Every time danger happened, she would always go, “AH! AH! GRANDFATHER! IAN! BARBARA! AH-AH!” Everytime. And when Susan was part of the group, having fun with them, being just as silly as the others, THAT’S when Susan worked. She was “The Young One,” acting as someone who the others would look after but still treat with respect as they knew Susan was capable of so much more than SCREAMING. As a member of the group, Susan worked great. As someone who could face danger…Let’s just say that my ears will be bleeding less now that she’s gone.

Ian: It’s weird that a college professor has more of a hero’s heart than the titular character of our show, but I’m not entirely complaining. Ian was a solid companion, willing to take charge for the sake of the group and having some great interactions with The Doctor. You could tell he wanted to strangle the old man, but also enjoyed The Doctor’s company as they shared a similar spirit. They both consider themselves leaders of the party and find conflict when one has an idea they believe is better than the other’s. After a while, they learn to work together and you feel that trust they have thanks to them realizing they’re basically the same kind of men who want the same kind of things. It DOES tend to feel that Ian steals the show at times, but it doesn’t change how much of an entertaining and perhaps even inspiring character Ian can be. He went through so much for The Doctor and the others, being the hero that they need and being charming as hell when doing it.

Barbara: Barbara’s sort of the character that has a well-defined relationship with everyone in the TARDIS. She’s a supportive, motherly figure to Susan and Vicki, treating them with respect while calming them down during intense times. With Ian, she’s a good friend and ONLY a friend. I’m actually glad that she was never forced into a love-interest role with him. There were so many moments where that could have been a possibility with how often those two are paired together, but it’s nice that they remained as close friends who can rely and help one another when the time comes. Not every man and woman needs to end up dating in the end. As for how Barbara is with The Doctor, where Ian and The Doctor are the same in a goal-driven level, The Doctor and Barbara are the same through an INTELLECTUAL one. They often share the same kind of thoughts and curiosity for each adventure they go on, and when they argue, you can tell it’s between two people who are of the same mind but with different opinions. It’s done well and I appreciate seeing these two interact the most. I also appreciate that Barbara stood strong in the face of danger, being just as valuable of a helping hand as the others are and not being a damsel in distress. Sure, she was like that SOMETIMES, but for the sixties this was likely the most independent a woman could get on television. Barbara was a strong character, and likely my favorite amongst the original companions.

Vicki: I was very worried that Vicki was going to turn out to be Susan 2.0, and in a lot of ways, she is. She was very much the young one who was commonly paired up with The Doctor or Barbara as she oozed with childish naivety. Even her exit was nearly identical to Susan’s, except that Susan’s was handled better because The Doctor at least said goodbye. Still, while very similar to Susan, there were some things that I did like a little more with Vicki. For one, she didn’t scream as much…thank FRICK! And two, she was a bit more proactive. Instead of screaming for Ian, Barabara, and The Doctor, Vicki found solutions herself and was frequently the one who helped save the day. I appreciate that, as it helps set her apart more from Susan and gives fans a different kind of naive character that’s endearing in her OWN way. I will say that it feels weird that The Doctor treats Vicki with more respect than his actual GRANDDAUGHTER at times, but this one isn’t screaming too often, so I don’t blame him. Vicki’s a little too much the same, but in some ways, I’d definitely say she’s a bit of an improvement, as mean as it is to admit.

Katarina: Does she count? She doesn’t really go past a single serial…Aw, screw it. She traveled in the TARDIS and helped the group for some time. I’ll say she counts.

And there’s not much to say about Katarina. She was along for the ride for such a short time, not really given a chance to stand out between the young characters like Susan or Vicki. There is this bit of naivety due to her seeing technology for the first time and mistaking The Doctor as a god, but there’s not enough time to develop that idea further and show her capabilities. I will say, though, that she gets the DARKEST exit of any companion I’ve seen. It’s sudden and unceremonious, dying because of some stupid maniac trying to escape his personal Hell. What’s worse is that it’s left to interpretation as to whether or not her death was an accident. Because she was from the distant past and had no knowledge of technology or buttons, it’s unknown if she sacrificed herself to stop the others from going back to The Daleks or because she didn’t know what button opened the door. A character that got to see the universe for the first time, thinking she was a part of something perfect, only to die in an unpredictable circumstance. She had a short amount of time, but I’m with The Doctor. I hope she found that perfection.

Steven: I. Do. NOT care for Steven. It feels like the writers were trying to make him Ian’s replacement as the heroic figure that was often at odds with The Doctor. Except that Steven is very much NOT that. He’s more like this bumbling buffoon who caused more problems as he constantly needed to be rescued by The Doctor and even Vicki at times. The very SECOND that proves how useless he could be was during his introduction when he ran to get back his teddy bear during a grueling escape from The Daleks. You COULD make the argument that the writers wanted to slowly develop Steven into a more heroic character, but there was barely any progression with him constantly being the butt of every joke. The only time he felt useful was during his last appearance, which I can appreciate. Again, they let him leave with some dignity intact and I’m grateful that he and The Doctor left on good terms. The two of them had a lot of one-on-one times with Steven having a great amount of trust towards The Doctor despite the constant jabs The Doctor gave. The Doctor admires every companion he lets tag along, and I love that it’s no different with Steven, even if I was more glad to see him gone.

Dodo: I…am incredibly indifferent towards Dodo. I don’t HATE her, I guess I could say that. She never really made my ears bleed like Susan did, but, at the same time, she wasn’t really the most useful companion. Dodo was either a damsel for The Doctor to save or someone that CAUSED a problem instead of leading to a solution. In a way, she’s more of what I expected Vicki to be: A downgrade rather than an upgrade who never really got a chance to shine as a worthy member of the group. Even Steven seemed more proactive than her, and that is a crime. And I’m pretty sure even the writers weren’t sure what to do with her either, given how they just…kicked Dodo out of the series without any proper exit. If Steven could get a proper ending, then so could Dodo. Regardless, I wouldn’t exactly say I’m going to miss her. Not too much, anyway. I didn’t mind her existence in the show, but I won’t lose sleep with her being gone. Sorry.

Ben and Polly: Yeah, might as well lump these two together. They weren’t on this run for long, and I assume they’ll be more dynamic characters when we talk about Number Two. For now, I’ll say that they’re fairly useful, saving the day with cunning and bravery. I wish Ben was a LITTLE less whiny and Polly a lot less of a damsel, but who knows? Maybe they’ll improve with The Second Doctor.

But that’s enough with the companions. Let’s finally talk about the man who started it all…

THE DOCTOR

The Doctor, no matter the iteration, is one of my favorite fictional characters. I ADORE a character who solves problems through wit, prefers not to use violence but will if pushed to their limits, and is the kindest being in the universe who will also destroy you if you hurt anyone they love. The Doctor is a being of many contradictions, who’s personality may fluctuate throughout the generations but still, at their core, is a caring being who won’t let ANYTHING stop them from doing what’s right.

…So to see The Doctor start off as this old fart who constantly complains while everyone does everything, causes problems for others, and sometimes cowardly bends to the will of enemies was a definite SHOCK to the system. The Doctor did NOT start out as the nobel hero I know them now as. It was actually kind of frustrating to see him stand off to the side while Ian took charge of everything. THIS would be the person who defeated countless enemies all over the universe? The person who sets out to save lives and regrets the ones they lost? That all started with someone who purposely trapped him and his companions on a distant planet just so they could explore? I couldn’t believe it, but thankfully the writers knew this neat little trick to storytelling: Character development.

Slowly but surely, The First Doctor does become more and more like the character I now adore. He fought Daleks after knowing how dangerous they are, weeped for the friends he had to let go, and outsmarted enemies rather than overpower them. He even gained The Doctor’s silliness and sense of humor. Just look at his grin as he scared enemies off after pretending to be a Dalek. The man relished in the chaos he brought, and it was fun to see…Except when he got giddy for being the one who caused Rome to burn down to the ground. Still have no idea what that was about.

Now, things weren’t always perfect. The First Doctor, while improved over time, still never became the heroic badass I know him NOW as, relying on his companions to do most of the work while he’s off having his own fun. Still, that’s where him being the FIRST comes into play. I can absolutely buy that it would take a few regenerations before he became The Doctor I know and love. As is, I’ll say that The First Doctor is an interesting, albeit off-putting, look into what The Doctor USED to be. It wasn’t always good, but I had my fun and I’ll miss this goofy old man.

And with that, we close off The First Doctor’s run. Most of it was fun, a lot was more dull than I expected it to be, and there were both good and bad surprises given to me through this journey into The First Doctor's adventures. It was great to finally see how this show I love started out, and it’s only the beginning from here. Tune in next time when it’s out with the old and in with the…significantly less old as we talk about The Second Doctor’s run.

[shydaydreamer28]

MCU - PalmerStrange + Salvaging Cleaphen

Unlike my last PalmerStrange post, this IS NOT a rant - just (probably unwarranted) optimism as a Cleaphen shipper.

This is how I see PalmerStrange from the first film to MoM - which I think can add depth & perspective Strange in the future, salvage Cleaphen, while also taking some of the cringe & shallowness out of the MoM version of PalmerStrange.

I said this in my PS post, but them shoving Christine down our throats so hard fucks everything up for Clea as a love interest. When 4/8 years of Strange's MCU time has been Christine-based with her getting this unearned spot as his "one true love", how are we meant to care about Clea coming into his life?

Clea ends up looking like a consolation prize because his actual love rejected him (in numerous universes). With that being the case, how are MCU fans (who are non-comic readers) supposed to truly invest in what was set-up to look like a rebound relationship because they wrote themselves into a corner trying to give Rachel McAdams more spotlight? Lol

That's like if the comics tried to paint Zelma as Strange's true love after we spend decades with Clea. That was a weird relationship by the way. Sometimes she was strictly a student & friend, other times it was written like they intended Strange's feelings as romantic. Lord knows...But either way, it's asinine. Imo you don't (or shouldn't) spend years gassing up a relationship knowing you have no intent of settling on it, then bringing in a new person randomly claiming that it was always meant to be them after numerous prior years depicting it as clearly being someone else.

I am saying the above because it seems clear in interviews from Waldron & McAdams, that they genuinely believe in PalmerStrange as a deep love pairing. Wth their pushing of it, it hurts Clea's romance with Strange in future projects by being brought in as "the lesser" ship.

However, the writing & execution in MoM was so bad, that I can NOT see PalmerStrange the way Waldron & McAdams were trying to sell it. And plus, of course the latter is gonna toot her own horn & hype the main character's feelings for her. Lmao

The first film didn't paint Christine being anywhere near as important to Strange as MoM tried to (badly) suggest.

Being bluntly honest, Strange never really paid much attention to Christine unless he wanted or needed something. I do believe he cared as much as he could at that time in his life when we first meet him, but it seemed more like she was a safety net. I'll expand a bit further down.

But first, lets look at the first non-business interaction between them. This interaction alone tells us everything.

Christine shares her policy against dating co-works which she named after Strange. Strange is glad something is named after him since nobody wants to call the technique he invented "The Strange technique."

Christine corrects him in noting that they invited the technique, which includes her.

Note how Strange promptly rushes passed the part relating to her to talk about how he's speaking at a dinner he wants her to attend with him.

Christine is less than thrilled. Strange says they had fun when they'd go & she has to break it to him that she never had fun because everything is always about him.

This sets the tone right here. Strange is clearly attracted to Christine but he is not at all in-tune with her as a person. When they were dating, Christine went to those events for him - not because they were fun, because they weren't for her. And Strange was so detatched & disinterested in her emotionally, he couldn't fathum that she wasn't having any fun until she outright tells him. Not hard to see why she (we can safely assume) broke things off.

Lets also take notice of how Strange never does anything for Christine.

She bought him a very expensive & engraved watch.

She was the one person to visit with him in the hospital after his accident, and was clearly heartbroken seeing him hurt.

She tried to take care of him after the accident - we see her giving him a shave when he's still hospitalized as well as bringing him food after he's out.

And while her timing was bad, she tried to get him to face the fact that his hands can not be fixed rather than torture himself on false hopes & putting himself in debt because of it.

But she also tries to encourage him to use the time to find new meaning in life.

She saved his life when he was stabbed.

She tried to comfort him after The Ancient One's death.

Lastly, she invited him to her wedding as a good friend.

Meanwhile we never see him doing anything for her. Her wedding in MoM was a chance for him to be supportive & encouraging on her new life chapter.

But rather than do that, his first instinct is to make her wedding about him - using her reception as the time & place to confess that he still has feelings for her.

Not only is this tacky asf, but it shows how little her happiness & best interests are to him when he makes her big day about him. Their relationship was 100% giving and / or sacrifice on Christine's end & nothing but taking on Strange's end. And that has not changed in MoM.

Imo opinion that cements that Strange doesn't love her because he doesn't care enough about her to ever put her first, show her consideration, or do even the smallest kindnesses for her - even after his character developement .

Christine seems to be someone he could always count on to validate & support him whenever he needed / wanted because she was the only person to ever put up with him. For the longest, she may have been the only friend (and possibly lover) he ever had. Or maybe he had more but she was the only one who stuck around. However you slice it, the first film makes it clear, she's the only real friend he had prior to his journey. Nobody else cared about him beyond professional responsibility. And there was good reason for that. Lol

He's so obsessive in MoM, the only way I excuse & explain it is her wedding triggering him and bringing some insecuriies and traumas regarding loss & lonliness back to the surface.

Rather than truly loving her, he's just desperate to cling to the 1 person he's always had for the longest. Her marrying someone else cuts in on their relationship big time. But that clinginess has more to do with him trying to make himself happy & hold on to a comfort source rather than out of any truly deep love for her. 

Again, not saying he doesn't care about Christine - but rather his romantic feelings are not based around true love. It seems to be based around how she makes him feel more so than how he truly feels for her. A case of truly loving the person vs. their actions, i.e. "what they do or provide for you."

And even deep into MoM, this seemed to be the case because all of his interactions with Christine center on what he is feeling rather than him trying to truly connect with & understand her feelings. He's had some character development but when it comes to Christine, he still treats everything as being about him, marking very little change in their relationship since the hospital scene in the first film.

He regresses when he's around her. Not because of anything bad on her part. She's so compassionate to him, she's done nothing but sacrifice & give to him which he has now come to expect. When they link up, he's always looking for her to be his comfort, savior, & validation rather than his true love or partner. In response, she humors him & is more patient with him than most would be. But sadly she's inadvertently enabling his behavior.

Cleaphen & Perspective

Now that brings me to Cleaphen & new perspective for Strange. Unlike PalmStrange (lmao that name works on multiple levels), Cleaphen only got 30 sec. of screentime. Lmao So this is based around wishful thinking to build on the above. LMAO

For me, the way to salvage this upcoming ship is establish that his feelings for Christine were not as genuine as he may have thought at the time once he begins to experience & feel the real thing with Clea.

Now usually I am very much against sailing ships by bombing others. A good ship can sail on its own. The thing that makes this different was MCU writing things into a corner to show more Rachel. Derrickson used Christine to give Strange a personal teather to his old life that he'd have to give up at the film's end. He gave them their closure in the first film & was planning & excited to bring Clea in for MoM. But he left, so his vision was burnt to a crisp & replaced.

Disney wanted to do a "What If" episode about Christine, Waldron watched that and continued with giving Christine / Rachel a larger part than what they were supposed to have. Because of all this padding for McAdams, PalmerStrange got stretched way out, leading to non-comic MCU fans expecting a Ross x Rachel get-together after the supposed Will They / Won't They.

Marrying Christine off in MoM gave most people a WTF reaction because it feels anti-climactic to spend 4 years on a ship they made Strange obsessively lovesick over only to not follow through on sailing it. Then we didn't stop at the wedding, we got a variant Christine to tag along in MoM, leading folks to thinking our Strange would get with her. And that doesn't happen - even after his confession PalmerStrange fans expected to at least get a kiss there. Nope.

Now we have 4 years of wasted time on a dead & static romance while making it the center of our main character's existence only to introduce what was supposed to be his real true love in a rushed & half-assed fashion during the credits of his sequel-in-name-only.

So because of the mess Disney made with PalmerStrange, we gotta have some pull back if they truly care about selling Clea as a love interest to be cared about. And maybe they don't. We'll have to see. Lol

Imo PalmerStrange has been overstretched & has done no kind of favors to Strange as this tweet perfectly sums up. Lmao

In addition to doing Strange a disservice, it also drags down Cleaphen. If she's gonna be his lover for the duration of his MCU tenure, then the mess they made with PalmerStrange needs to be cleaned up. But this assumes there's anyone besides Derrickson in the MCU who cares about Strange & Clea's characters.

Starting off, I think his ship with Clea needs to be a very slow burn across multiple films or shows whichever they are invloved in. But it needs to be spread out to provide real development & depth so it doesn't seem rushed & half-assed. Again. Lol PalmerStrange got 2 films and 2 "What If..." episodes. They could at least give Cleaphen 2 films - especially since that's the ship that's supposed to go somewhere. The romance will only ever be a subplot because there's always a bigger over-arching story that is more important.

The following is gonna be how I hink Cleaphen should be spread post-MoM. Lord knows all the MCU projects and films to come. So I am just gonna number things

Film 1 (their very next major appearance)

We need to see them as comrades first. Show them working well together as a good team. Good battle chemistry can definitely be a factor in bonding them during early stages. It would lay the groundwork of mutual respect between 2 mystic fighters & sorcerers.

After developing mutual respect for one another as comrades, slowly work toward connecting more personally which leads to a friendship. That connection could be in conversation about her family. Perhaps Clea fully introduces herself to Strange revealing the extent of who she is to him - a key thing being that she's Dormammu's niece. We can hear about her family and the emotional conflct she faces coming from such a family whom she once supported.

This would help turn the tables. We'd get someone is sharing their sob story with Strange and he's getting a chance to be the ear to listen and provide comfort to Clea in similar fashion to what he had to do for America. This would already differentiate the relationship from Christine because he'd be required put forth emotional effort in the developmental stages. Unlike Christine, Clea comes with her own regrets and dark history. She's not the Mary Sue with no hardships or wrong-doings. So while Clea can be a source of support for Stephen, he has to be there for her issues as well.

With Clea having her own very clear demons & a VERY dangerous family, Strange would not have the chance to make everything all about him & become complacent in that. If he wants her, he's gonna have to make effort insuring she is emotionally supported & fulfilled as well.

Again, we can't linger on this subplot too long because the film would have a bigger story to be told - but we have nicely continued the ship voyage - showing how they mesh as comrades since the end of MoM, and now moving into friendship in this film. This film this is should focus a bit more on Clea with Strange being a supporting factor to her since she is a major new addition to Marvel & Strange lore. We can be learning about her & building a connection simultaneously with Strange. I hate to say that after Strange played 3rd fiddle in MoM, but even with focusing on Clea, it wouldn't hurt Strange's character as bad as MoM because we are developing a character who is going to be very big & influential in his life. So end the subplot here for this film. Whatever it may be. Lol

Film 2

Next film, shift back to Strange focus. Having clearly become fond of him, have Clea inquires about Strange - his life, family, and if he has a special someone back home. He can give a brief recap of his journey from his first film. After that, he can answer that he had a special someone years ago but it ended because he wasn't the best person at the time.

That is actually similar to the comics. Strange was engaged to a woman named Madeleine St. Germaine, a patient he treated & fell for. As his attittude got worse & more materialistic, she left him. So this can be the scene we get him talking about Christine & the real reason it ended (because everything was about him - not the BS holding the knife bit that they made up for that film). With a bit of romantic interest having seeped through, Clea asks if he still has feelings for Christine based on how fondly he's still speaking of her.

With that question, we can get some perspective and admittance from Strange - that he still cares for Christine as a very good friend but his romantic interest has passed. Why? He now realizes that he mostly loved as a source of comfort & validation rather than as a true lover.

With that question, we can get some perspective and admittance from Strange - that he still cares for Christine as a very good friend but his romantic interest has passed. Why? He now realizes that he mostly loved as a source of comfort & validation rather than as a true lover.

That would be a moment of realization that shows growth & self-reflection. Strange seemed totally ooc during the MoM Christine subplot but the above would give a legit & believable reason for his obsessive lovesick behavior. it would make it seem like a needed transition to prepare him for the relationship to come and help him truly recognize the difference between limerence vs. love now that he is learning to develop relationships and friendships outside of the 1 person he was putting all his humanity & happiness on - all his eggs in 1 basket so to speak. Baskets can be overloaded and break. Christine can't be responsible for a clingy partner using her for their emotional needs while providing nothing in return for her. Again, a very one-sided relationship. With perspective, Strange will see just what kind of effort & devotion true love can pull out of a person.

Now we have to keep the movie going. Because again, this is only a subplot. We have to move back to the bigger story. Imo this is a good place to leave Cleaphen until their next appearance. The seeds of romance have been planted with Strange & Clea being closer as comrades & having connected a bit on a friendship level. We also have both characters established to each other as single. lol

Film 3

Finally, move them into official lovers territory here. How to push it over the edge? We gotta have Strange make that final leap and allow himself to be 100% raw with Clea on an emotional level. We've now had 2 films building an intimacy as comrades & friends, so it wouldn't be unrealisticly rushed for him to be at the point of opening up on the deepest level - especially having mutually developed feelings for her over the course of the previous 2 films.

Clea has learned about Strange's life-changing journey and his history with Christine which he has gained more logical & less emotional perspective on. From here, we have a solid base set for moving the relationship to its final stage. Maybe now is the time to get that big moment we've had put off for 2 solo DS films. Strange has shared his journey into soercery & prior love life with Clea, but what about his family? I don't think it'd be an instantaneous. I could see Clea asking him about it and him brushing it off early on before he finally allows himself to open up to her fully.

And THIS story could finally be the moment we expand on Donna and see the trauma that resides there. But rather than skipping right passed it, show some actual flashbacks this time. Maybe use this story to bring up his brother, Victor and the guilt of also feeling like he failed him. This would also track with his comment to Christine about how he is afraid of being genuinely close to others because he gets scared.

When he finally caves & reveals his family history to Clea, let this be a true scene where we finally see the weight of Stephen letting all this out to someone after so long and then let Clea get the chance to comfort him on his family as he did for her when he revealed her own family drama & issues. Being such a stage ready actor who truly gets into his roles, Cumberbatch would KILL a scene like this. We'd get the chance to see Strange in a very different light, at his most vulnerable, and it's a side he's only revealing to Clea (his future wife). He can start truly opening his heart with her, and continue from there to where Comics Strange made it 30+ years ago. lmao

Doctor Strange 3

Only question, where does DS3 fit into this. Above I gave bullet points for how Cleaphen can develop organically over the course of 3 film subplots. It's still a bit rushed but there's only so much time per film and gotta face facs this isn't a Soap Opera with season upon season to devote to story lines. Getting back to the 3 mystery films, which of those is DS3 and should any of them be?

Rumor is that DS3 is being fast-tracked due to the success of MoM as well as Marvel wanting to get it out before Secret Wars. This is concerning because rushed work is usually never good. Another rumor is that it will adapt Time Runs Out from the comics and be another segue into a big event.

If those 2 things are true, then a romantic subplot probaly won't have much time for real devotion. Strange already had to take a backseat in DS2, and we stiill have Clea to properly introduce. So DS3 does NOT need to take place directly after MoM. Their next appearance needs to start planting seeds for their relationship as well as devote real time to establishing Clea. DS3 is not the place to do the latter because Strange doesn't need to play second-fiddle in 2/3 of his solo films. So that definitely crosses off Film 1 as DS3 possibilities.

Realistically DS3 could be Film 2 or Film 3. But since there is a high chance of it being event-based, I don't see a romance subplot getting handled in a way that is meaningful & satisfactory which leads me to think that all these films need to be appearances & plots that take place before DS3. If it went that way, then we can come into DS3 with Clea & Cleaphen already established - without major character moments & developments rushed in favor of making sure the event threads all get included.

Thing is, DS3 is again being fast-tracked. So unless SW isn't coming out until 2034, I doubt we'll get 3 films prior with Strange & Clea. So DS3 would have to fall in F2 or F3 to have a chance at still working with Clea & Cleaphen in a satisfying way.

I lean toward Film 2 because the suggested subplot events are depthful but wouldn't need to use too many scenes. So we can get the proper focus on that while still keeping pace for the event(s). But on the other side of the argument, what film other than his own could Strange's family and trauma truly be addressed? In a team film like Avengers, he'd already have his screentime divided among 10 other characters.

Would they do a team film that gave him the major subplot that his family trauma would need? I doubt it. So either Film 3 would be DS3. Or Cleaphen & Strange get to a certain point, pause for a bit, then finish up the development in a DS4. Lol Possible, but I never entertained the idea Strange would get a 4th film. I am not against it, but just never saw it as something that would happen.

Best Option

The best option would be to give Strange a mini series. I don't care if it's animated or live action, but his character could use it. Then we could get a lot of depth & development that the films robbed him of, develop his romance with Clea, and be in a good spot to use his remaining films as tie-ins because his development was handled in a tv series and the films can be more business oriented without shafteing the character(s) arc(s) entirely.

Outro

With all that (or similar) being done, we have a ship that has slowly built from comrades to romantic interests with mutual support & investment - much more stable than the last ship Strange was on. We can still accept that Christine is an important loved one in his life while adding a deeper layer to it - acknowledging things like emotional co-dependency instead of accepting bad writing where intended love just looks like limerence with the titular character not being mentally mature enough to know the difference. lol

With a build like this for Cleaphen and an added perspective on PalmStrange being misguided on Strange's end, we can create a ship that looks adult and deep. We can buy why Clea x Strange are good together and what they see in each other. We can have real investment with real character depth & growth - turning the negatives of MoM into positives and still making future plot points work.

Or have Christine & Charles divorce, with the forner coming back for Strange, only for him to reject her because he's in love with Clea. 🤣🤣🤣 They did it with Gwen & Spider-Man, who rejected her for MJ. But I know this won't happen. So lets get back to seriousness. Lmao

With the previous mentioned time & build, MCU Cleaphen looks like a legit ship where Strange truly is with the love of his life (like Waldron said she was suppoed to be) versus looking like a rebound he would instantly dump for Christine if she ever came back.

But again, all wishful thinking to lessen my MoM hate and still be able to enjoy the idea of Cleaphen in the MCU.

I doubt we will get anything close to deep in any future films they share. 9/10 when we finally see them again, they will already be married with the entirety of their relationship progression having happened off-screen.

[crystalelemental]

Sync Pair Retrospective - SC Teatime

It's a bit late, but I kinda fell off of doing these retrospectives for a while when I felt like I didn't have much to say at one point.  But, I’d like to get back to it, and that means there’s catching up to do.  So, let’s start with what’s still up: Special Costume Teatime.

SC LILLIE Upon arrival, Lillie was generally cited as the best of the four.  In some ways, she's a direct upgrade over SC Jasmine from six months prior.   Similar buffing kit, but generally stronger tools.  While Jasmine had special defense drops, Lillie had a 60% flinch rate.  While Jasmine has Gradual Healing, Lillie had passive team healing every time she took a hit, and Potion.  By their first sync, Jasmine had +5 Sp Atk, +6 Sp Def, and +3 crit, while Lillie has +6 Sp Atk and +3 crit.  The decision between them was, for most, in Lillie's favor.  I will always advocate for my girl Jasmine though, and insist that the special bulk and application of Safety Net on sync mattered.  But...yeah, Lillie was largely better.

The drawback of Lillie is that without her full grid, she's actually kinda terrible. Without All Ramped Up and Crit Squad on her trainer move, she can't buff special attack to cap, and takes a separate three turns for crit rate.  Jasmine suffers similarly, but not as severely.  Even with full grid, SC Lillie is...messy. She can't get much of what she wants in a single grid, and has to make difficult concessions regarding what to take.  Jasmine's is immaculate, with nothing wasted and nothing missed.  So I do feel like it was a bit more even than people made it out to be.

Of course, they both get blasted two months later as SS Kris waltzes in.   Seriously, how do you compete with that?  Kris did everything they did, but tossed in Special Moves Up Next for good measure.  Oh, and the whole Rain thing that made her unchallenged in an entire archetype.  Kinda hard to keep pace with that.  Jasmine, I feel, got entirely bodied by Kris.  Kris handled everything except special defense drops, and had an actual physical defense stat.  Lillie managed to keep up in part due to higher flinch rate, being the faster draw, and not needing first sync.   Jasmine wanted sync for Safety Net.  Kris needed it for MP Burst.   Lillie...could ignore it.  This let her have a little bit more depth to her game that the others couldn't quite match.  And because of the compression of her trainer move, Lillie had everyone to max offense by turn 3, unlike the other two who could be just short of the mark.

SS Brendan came in, but it was a similar sort of deal.  Yes, he could perform a comparable role with incredibly valuable special defense drops and comparable Potion benefits, with a better grid.  But he also needed first sync for full crit benefits.  Lillie didn't.  And so Lillie's kind of remained as a Special Attack/Crit buffer who doesn't need first sync.

That said, there's a reason Kris and Brendan tend to outrank her, and it's because Lillie rarely has everything she wants.  Her bulk is a lot worse off due to the lack of easy special defense buffs, and her passive healing isn't as strong as you'd like.  Grid constraints also mean she's not getting double MPR like ever, so Brendan serves a more valuable defensive role.  I'd argue that even SC Jasmine has stood the test of time better, as the AoE meta that came about from modern CS put a lot of value on team Endure.  And with her whole flinch rate...well, Lodge Blue is completely free, and has a comparable 60% rate, with some really nice passive healing.  So like.  Pretty much every niche Lillie occupies has pretty significant competition.  Not to say she's bad now.  But it is to say I think I use her least of the four.

SC SONIA Sonia was the last winner of her day, and remains last winner.  The problem is really just that Grass isn't hard to shop for, and having Hit the Gas with a low speed stat is a recipe for problems.  Just ask SS Giovanni, who showed up the next month.  And speaking of next month, the introduction of SS Morty was a mixed bag.  Sonia appreciated the bulk, speed, and Sun he could offer, but so did every other Grass type, most notably SS Erika, who completely popped off once Lyra dropped.  Sonia could compete, but just wasn't as considered, given her limited status compared to SS Erika's general pool designation.

Effectively nothing changed for Sonia throughout the year, until...well, three weeks from now.  SS Acerola offers the combination of Grassy Terrain and Sun at once, all while massively powering up physical moves up next, and freeing up a spot for SC Steven, who stacks damage to the moon.  SC Sonia was one of the few, truly elite beneficiaries of this comp.   Unfortunately, she ran smack into the same issues, as Acerola's attack buffs meant not only was SS Erika keeping pace, but now Mallow legitimately joined the race.  Heck, even Selene competes in this comp, and she doesn't even need Sun; Steven's just that good a partner to her.

Sonia's an unfortunate case of a sync pair that cannot escape the curse of an oversaturated type.  There are plenty of strong physical attackers in the general pool, and Sonia doesn't offer anything truly unique.  Sure, Defense Crush, but with SS Acerola/SC Steven, Steven's already debuffing defense to -6 anyway, so what value does that hold?  Sonia's decent, but "decent" doesn't cut it for a limited pair.

SC INGO When Ingo released, Zones were still relatively fresh.  We only had a few, mostly from the Sinnoh VA, and Bug in particular was in rough shape.   Having someone to finally apply that Zone felt great...right up until you looked at the kit. See, for the other Zone setters, there's...an understanding that they're supportive in nature.   Renegade Cynthia gets Sundering to boost either form of damage, but emphasizes special with On a Roll because most Ghost-types are special. Lucas removes his gauge cost because Dragons tend to have high gauge.   SS Marnie focused on physical debuffs because they're mostly physical, but tossed in Team Sharp Entry for Raihan.  SS Cyrus...okay look, Cyrus was just insane broadly.

Ingo didn't have that.  His support was a Trap condition for some reason, and Defense Crush 9.  He leaned entirely into physical.  At a time when the best Bug...was Alder.  Special.  Even among general pool, Lusamine and Burgh were the better options, and they're special.  Ingo didn't help them so much, and it was a pretty significant problem.  As a sync nuker, Ingo was momentarily top dog, but had absolutely no self-buffing skill, which hindered him in that regard as well.  Buffing evasion and accuracy is cute, but it's about all he did.  And he did it, because that's all Emmet would need.

Ingo was a case that happens too often, where DeNA designs a support to help a specific unit, rather than a particular meta niche.  He's also a case where, if invested, he's just stronger than the people he's trying to help.  Why bother with Bugsy as a damage dealer when Ingo has infinity billion damage over him on sync and DPS?  Ingo...is one of the worst Zone setters.  He's still a Zone setter and therefore has use, but there's a very, very strong case to be made for SS Hilbert being better with the rebuff and special defense drops.

SC EMMET The other half of the twins is a Bug striker, and I initially almost said we don't get many of those before realizing they're almost all strikers.  Hey Bugs?   Aren't you supposed to be about status?

Anyway, Emmet comes in as an odd kind of Striker, having very solid base power on his attack, but mostly emphasizing sync with Rising Tide.  This makes him an excellent EX clear for CS, but Gauntlet tends to be a much, much rougher time, due to his poor gauge management.  Upon release, Emmet was pretty immediately the best in class.  His only competition was Alder, who was an older unit with very little supporting him.  Certainly not Ingo.  So Emmet was kinda top dog for a while there.

But the times change, and PokeFairs are getting grid expansions.  Alder comes in with a pretty damn good one too, offering yet another 30% multiplier on Hyper Beam, and easily overtaking Emmet's DPS.  He even gets Dismay to help set up his Overpower, and Impervious to negate the trainer move drawback.  Then, he gets SS Hilbert.  Another PokeFair that can debuff special defense, and apply the new rebuff for greater damage?  Now we're talking.  Alder's damage begins to soar.  But there is another, as Lodge Dawn enters the fold, carrying gauge control, Team Sharp Entry to speed up his self setup by a whole turn, and best of all, Satisfied Snarl on Struggle Bug for some of the most aggressive special attack debuffing you can find, on a support.  Alder suddenly has an entire team comp that rivals Emmet's.

At present, Emmet has not been strictly dethroned.  SC Ingo/Sonia are a great combo for him that gives everything he requires, but Alder is keeping pace.  And unfortunately, that means there are dark times ahead, because Alder will one day receive a 3/5 expansion as well, while Emmet is currently not expected to get anything ever.  It's a waiting game.   In time, it's very likely that Emmet will lose out to Alder.  They're already neck and neck, and if Alder's expansion drops something big like half-cost Brainpower?  Now it's just over.  But, for the time, Emmet is keeping up.  It's a tough battle, but it is kinda cool how the top bugs are both Unovan, Home of Cool Bugs.

[away-ward]

Part 1, because my post is just too long. Questions after reading my posts: What are your thoughts about these? Do you agree or disagree? What do you think are Emmy's flaws as compared to what was told?

Do you think Emory ever hated the Horsemen? Unpopular opinion, I dont think she ever did, and even if she LOOKED like she hated them, I always thought most of it was just a pretense and it was for three main reasons: her grandmere's safety (she was always being tailed by her brother and on multiple occassions where her brother found out about her connection with Will or the Horsemen, he came for them all or took it out on Emmy), her education (she didnt have a safety net and wanted to get out of town asap, not only to get away from he rbrother but because she thought she never really felt out of place more than her own hometown), and she thought she could never be happy or free (because of the way her brother made her feel in her growing (?) years and the issue about how her "fun" is kinda different than the townspeople's definition of "fun". Which also makes me believe that out of many aunties, Mads would get along with Emmy best, not only because she was more open-minded about knowledge and personality, they naturally share a lot of similar hobbies and environment: reading books, a bit more at peace with violence from the get go, silence and introversion, etc. Fundamentally, they're pretty similar, apart from the implied autism/adhd).

Do correct me if I'm wrong though, because when I see people's review of Emmy's feelings or thoughts towards the Horsemen, they always thought that she hated them (shes still their humbler dont get me wrong), but I dont understand why this opinion is a popular one, and I dont remember when she did that too, even at her lowest moments. I dont remember a single time in the books where she ever mentioned whether verbally or in her mind that she hated them, but I remember that she was always and at most just annoyed at them, because they were annoying punks who couldnt leave her alone and understand no means mo. When they werent around though, there was no unnecessary mention of them, she just minded her own business, building things, reading books, bonding with her grandmere, and mooning over Will.

Even when she criticise them in her mind about them or her schoolmates LOOKING happy like they were "17" and "free", she never did anything to hurt them or even spread rumours about them online or anything, unlike what e know of about people like Arion in Kill Switch. Emmy was jealous, yes, but she didnt intentionally put others down for it, she just made a general observation and left them alone, even Will knew this (maybe even the horsmen, but idr). She didnt even know what goes on during Devils Nights, it was just "another Thunder Bay drama" to her. She was just never interested in them, because she had other duties, she dealing with heavy abuse and just thought the things they find "fun" in were usually about humiliating others or shallow things that have not much substance that intrigues her to play with, at that age. We can see her having a lot of fun when she can connect with people on a deeper level though, or things that are related to her hobbies and passion, which a lot of teenagers at her age, did not find "fun" at all. A classic isolating experience of a teenager who had a different meaning of "fun" than the majority, and since a lot of people at that age just dont really understand or having fear of the concept of "not fitting in" and about being "others", she was left out and labelled negatively for it. It's just a high school thing that a lot of people go through too. Ngl, i didnt grew up like emmy, but even i can understand that high school years were really shit lmao, especially with school "cliques".

Which was also the reason why I was weirded out when Emmy and even Will himself called her judgmental because the word "judgmental" has a very negative connotation in their story right, but her "judgments" or "judgmental" thoughts were never even as bad as Rika, Banks, or even Winter (Rika was slutshaming girls and calling them stupid because she was jealous of them, even Alex when they first met, not knowing whythese girls chose to be a sex worker, then Banks literally called Rika Michael's pet project!!! And Alex an overpriced escorts!!! And many more, then we have Winter who called a lot of women in her book, especially Arion, "easy" just because Arion persued Damon, loves to fuck and date around with other guys, but then Winter turned around and ended up being the one to fuck with the same person who did worse than those girls, Damon Torrance, the mysterious guy just because she liked him? I get that these girls grew up with a lack of a maternal kr great women figure, but so did Emmy. Emmy at most I remember, only called those girls that were bullying her, Barbie Dolls and skanks (NOT ANY BETTER, i dont excuse her), but she also made sure to call out the men in the town the same MANY TIMES, especially Will for being part of this culture too, as oppose to the other girls who only came after other girls, but put the Horsemen or other guys on a higher pedestal than other women) but for some reason Rika, Banks and Winter, never label themselves as "judgmental" or were never framed in text as "judgmental". Why?

It's definitely a very interesting choice of narrative by the writer, because not only this thing gets us an insight of Emmy's characterisation of how an abuse victim and survivor might respond to her surroundings at such a young age, but also it's about her being a self-aware person of her own accountability enough early on, and maybe thats why when she vocalises her thoughts, her words could hurt others even more (?) because of how aware she was about her ownself's good and bad, and her general observation about her surroundings. Still hypocritely funny that Will only get mad at her (even Rory) when she was "judging" him and the blackchurch gang by making a general statement about their presence there, but not when they were accomplices in hurting her, threatening her life and safety prior to that table meal, lmao. Theyre so annoying, Emmy was better than me, because if I was in her situation, i wouldnt have only said wore, i wouldve done worse too, I wouldve burnt everything to the ground and made each of them suffer.

Even more interesting because during the present time, Will was even judgier than Emmy (granted he was hurt, traumatised from the jail, and sad and betrayed about the jail and her rejection), acting as if he knew everything about her when he wasnt even a friend to her, so it's not like he knew about her today, anymore than he did in the past, but no one seems to pick up on this? A lot of readers just resd the text and believe whatever things the characters said without taking a step back and look at how contrasting their history, words and actions are. Like when Emmy said that Alex knew Will better and how she was a friend to him and came for him, in my head I was like, "yeah, but its not like he was there for you or knew you any better like he knew or was there for Alex when Aydin or their family werent around tohelp Alex, so why were Emmy so hung up on what she couldnt do for him, while he was never there for her too anyway? All this while dealing with a lot of caring duties, a chance at education and financial freedom, and figuring out if her first love was good for her and each other or not outside of an abusive environment".

There's always an underlying of guilt in Emmy's pov, for "not doing enough for Will" when she barely had and could do enough for herself. The narration made the guilt and burden in her heart looked a lot worse to me, because the man that she felt guilty for wasnt even going through even 10% of what she went through (be it the past or the present), that he or his friends, didnt already do to himself or him, so I just had to stop reading nightfall from time to time because the guilt towards Emmy made ME felt suffocated, then when i looked back at it, it was so unnecessary and unwarranted as if she owed him the world or something, especially for someone who didnt even fight for her enough, before they meet again in blackchurch. It's always "she hurts him", "she didnt came back for him", "she didnt contact him", "she never fought for anything". Ok, but what about HIM? What the fuck was he doing? It took some enjoyment from me, because the undeserved guilt towards Emmy was too much sometimes. They both were weak, but the narrative made me dislike Will because of how weird the whole "its your fault emmy that hes like this". Idk, when it comes to dark romance, i was always really not a big fan of this trope of blaming their love interests for how they are, or the too-dependent-on-the-love-interests, i dont find it romantic, so maybe it's just a me thing.

Edited Aug, 19th for readability and spelling/grammar mistakes.

Hey, someone who as has much as me to say! Love to see it. Let’s go!!

Short answer to your first question: I don’t think Emory ever hated anyone. Not even her brother, in the end. I think she hated her situation, and had the tendency to lash out or direct her anger at people.

Long answer:

From the first chapter of her past POV we see this:

You’re not wrong at all. Emory didn’t hate them. She hated what they represented: entitlement and privilege. At the same time, she was jealous of their freedom. She was angry at her situation, but she only had so many outlets and The Horsemen, who were considered princes of Thunder Bay, made perfect targets.

But when we listen to her thoughts, any judgements or negative talk is always followed by something softer, almost like a balm she uses to soothe herself or and any insult she might have directed at someone else, even if they didn’t hear it. Because she’s kind. Unless something has really irritated her beyond all rational, typically when she has a negative thought and then does the “except for this” or “but that” and goes out of her way to offer an excuse.

Mads would get along with Emmy best, not only because she was more open-minded about knowledge and personality, they naturally share a lot of similar hobbies and environment: reading books, a bit more at peace with violence from the get go, silence and introversion, etc. Fundamentally, they're pretty similar, apart from the implied autism/adhd).

I like the idea that Emmy would have a special bond with Mads; like out of all the adults, she would get him. Like they’d all accept him as he is, but accepting someone and understanding are different and I also like the idea that he’d feel safe with her. Maybe that’s why he felt comfortable talking to Will in the tree. Will’s like an extension of Emmy??

people's review of Emmy's feelings or thoughts towards the Horsemen, they always thought that she hated them (shes still their humbler dont get me wrong), but I dont understand why this opinion is a popular one

As far as readers interpreting Emory’s anger as hate, I think it’s probably an easy mistake to make. It appears that so many were already ready to dislike her, that anything other than fawning over the Horsemen was going to be an issue.

I mean, Emory is different in that regard. Rika always liked them. She especially liked Michael. She didn’t like feeling immature next to them and felt uncomfortable around Damon. Despite this, she liked them.

Banks loved Damon and liked Kai well enough to go through Devil’s Night with him. If things were different, she probably would have razzed Will and Michael, but been fond of them nonetheless. Like what we see in the present.

Winter had her “issues” with Damon (if we want to call them that for simplicity), but still felt a connection with him. Other than him, she was fine with the others for the most part, and was even curious about them in school.

Emory had a reason to be angry. It’s her proximity to the Horsemen, because of Will and because of Martin, that it often gets directed at them.

As an example, the pool scene. She just wanted a moment to herself, but here comes the horsemen, ruining her swim even though they have other options. They’re there for the sole purpose of bothering her, and they’re allowed to do it. There’s no one she can complain to. It’s not her pool. They have just as much right to it as she does, but it’s the principle of the matter. This is another situation where she is the victim of their privilege;. Worst, she knows if the circumstances were different, she might even be able to enjoy the moment with them. Will clearly wanted her to. She’d have liked to. But she couldn’t and she was angry. She lashed out.

The horsemen also bothered Martin to the point that it gets back to her, whether they always intended to or not. This upset her further with them because they never had to think about the ripple effect their actions had.

If Will never had a reason to bother her or target Martin, Emory probably could have lived her life in Thunder Bay off their radar, and they off of hers except for the occasional blip. She might have always been prejudiced against them because of their entitlement and privilege, and how they chose to use it, but not with the horsemen alone – with everyone at the school. The horsemen just seem to be an easy target because they were so brazen about it.

A classic isolating experience of a teenager who had a different meaning of "fun" than the majority, and since a lot of people at that age just dont really understand or having fear of the concept of "not fitting in" and about being "others", she was left out and labelled negatively for it. It's just a high school thing

You’re right; high school is hard for a lot of people. Emory would have had a difficult time anyway. Even if Martin was a normal older brother, she was still dealing with:

A sick grandmother

Being poor in a wealthy town/going to school with those in a different class bracket

Being different marked as different because of that, but additionally her brother is a cop

Since Martin cared so much about appearances, it's not a leap to assume that if Martin could give her a new uniform, he would have. But in the text, she wears one that is outdated, too big for her, and falling apart. Money was tight, in a town where most people have more money than they know what to do with.

Because of the lack of extra spending money, there would have been a lot she couldn’t do with her classmates. I doubt she would have wanted to rely on Will for everything, all little the extras at school. And because Martin was a cop, she would have to be extra careful not to get caught in their outside of school activities. That would have caused a strain on their relationship too – and even Emory thinks about this when she imagines their future, saying that she wouldn’t fit in with his friends and eventually he’d get tired of trying to make it work.

And at the end of the day, she’s still an introvert who would rather spend time with a few select people or alone, working on her projects, rather than party every weekend.

Yeah, there were a lot of ways that Emory’s life would have still been difficult even if we remove the abuse from the equation. No matter what, she would be different from her peers and we know how people treat those who are different…

Emmy's characterisation of how an abuse victim and survivor might respond to her surroundings at such a young age, but also it's about her being a self-aware person of her own accountability enough early on, and maybe thats why when she vocalises her thoughts, her words could hurt others even more (?) because of how aware she was about her ownself's good and bad, and her general observation about her surroundings

I think part of Emory’s growth was that she… convinced herself that she wouldn’t like their type of fun because it was beneath her. She needed to think not so highly of herself in comparison to them. But that pride and anger was one of the few things getting her through. If she let go of it, she’d have no defense against Martin or the abuse. She’d have nothing to support her getting away. She need her anger to fuel her drive. I think even she knew that, realistically, which is why we see her pull back at times. Like with Elle. She says something, that even though she believes it, she knew would be offensive and not at all what she intended to do and immediately apologizes for being rude.

Because Emory doesn’t want to be rude. She’s not mean. She occasionally has prejudices that leap from her when she’s feeling irritated, but she usually pulls it back when she takes a moment to calm down. Her pride can get the better of her at times; she’s so used to relying on it to get her through stressful situations. It’s not her go-to.

With Blackchurch, what was she supposed to think before she knew the real situation? All she knew was she was surrounded by men who came from wealth (i.e., the freedom to do whatever they wanted without consequence) who had been deemed “uncontrollable” by their own families. Like you said, they threatened her, fought her, Will was remarkably angry with her. She judged the situation and the men as dangerous and acted accordingly. The specifics only change the situation when the men (mainly Rory and Micah) start treating her better. With new information available, she adjusts her understanding.

I feel like being judgmental would mean that no new or relevant information would change anything for her. She would still hate them based on them being murders and whatever else they were. She still kept her distance from Taylor because his treatment of her never changed. He remained a threat so she treated him like one. The others changed, and so did her response to them.

I don’t know, maybe I’m giving her too much leeway. But I never felt that she was judgmental; I thought that was a defense Will cooked up to comfort himself when in the depth of his heart he knew he was wrong, he just couldn’t get over himself.

I just had to stop reading nightfall from time to time because the guilt towards Emmy made ME felt suffocated, then when i looked back at it, it was so unnecessary and unwarranted

Emmy cares so much about people, often to her detriment. It makes sense that she carries guilt, but as I’ve always said, it’s undeserved. But that’s who she is, so it came into play. It’s a shame that more readers don’t see that about her. Will’s issues were always about him; what he wanted from her, what he wanted her to think, what he wanted her to do. What he wanted, period. Meanwhile, Emmy wanted him to be happy. She wanted him to move on, because she wasn’t in a place to make him happy, and honestly, she might never be. Even when she thought she’d betrayed them, she was expecting he’d come for revenge because she didn’t think he deserved to go to prison for hurting Martin or the gazebo, no matter how it affected her personally.

She understood his anger and grief, but couldn’t take it away. I didn't think it was hers to bear though.

But she needed to learn how to throw it away and get to a place where she didn’t need her anger to move forward anymore.

when it comes to dark romance, i was always really not a big fan of this trope of blaming their love interests for how they are, or the too-dependent-on-the-love-interests, i dont find it romantic, so maybe it's just a me thing.

I will agree – if there’s a revenge plot in dark romance, I want there to be an actual reason for revenge and not just a misunderstanding or blaming the other person because they can’t cope with reality. It’s definitely not just a you thing.

*bolded are not for emphasis, but for readability in a long post*

[dessertdungeon]

Everything to know about(anthea)

~Basic info~

Name: Anthea maple

Nicknames: thea, anthie, Annie.

Voice headcanon: Chisa yukizome from danganronpa 3 despair arc.

Age: adult. One to two years younger than peppino.

Gender: female (cis usually, but depending on a few factors, trans in some versions of the story)

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: panromantic , demisexual

Nationality: Canadian, but moved to Italy as a young child.

Species: human.

(TW: backstory contains mentions of extremely upsetting topics, such as being stalked, manipulated and more. Aswell as a brief mention of war.)

~backstory~

Anthea had moved to Italy(or America it depends ) when she was very young, even when she was little she had always had a knack for being caring— and would always look out for those she cared about.

She met peppino when they were in elementary school, and she liked him quite a lot. but they started hanging out the most and became very good friends in middle school. Ever since then their friendship really never faded.

Anthea had always treasured her friendship with peppino, always happy to see him no matter what happened. Though their friendship had started her hopelessly crushing on him for years on end. So when peppino and her were adults, and he had to go off to war.. she really did miss him.

..in this time, she had met someone who seemed nice at first, but over time became extremely obsessive, manipulative and aggressive towards Anthea, starting out with luring her into comfort , but slowly cutting her safety nets- and getting even more creepy at that.. when she finally noticed this behaviour it only got worse, it took a while for her to get away from him and his horrible actions, but when she did it was only a few days before peppino had returned.

She was happy peppino was safe, but seeing how much more anxious he was now, seeing how war had changed him, she decided not to tell him of the person who hurt her, instead she gave into a voice in her head that told her he would be mad at her, and never told him or anyone else about what happened.

As a child, Anthea though usually cheerful and sweet had always been quite emotional, but ..along with growing older, she had realised the best way to keep others happy was to be more cheerful and in high spirits, and once peppino had came back from war, she had decided she’d learn to deal with her issues by herself, and instead of getting help from others, find ways to heal herself whilst she helped peppino heal from his trauma..

She was able to hide it for a good amount of time, but once they’re faced with the tower.. will Anthea still be able to keep her worry-some secret from her dear childhood friend?

~personality~

Anthea has always been extremely kind and caring, she has also always been pretty smart. She has a cheerful but calm personality on the surface and always shows up with a smile. If someone’s sad, she’ll always make sure to comfort them as best as she can..

Though unlike another oc of mine, she does know she can’t save everyone, so if she can’t help a stranger or acquaintance she’ll do her best to say no. but she’ll try her hardest to always save those she loves no matter what.

Though her optimism shows for others, on the inside.. she has lots of anxiety, a lot like peppino. It’s hard for her to show this around others and you won’t spot this that easily, but when she’s put under too much stress or pressure she’ll pop and start to show her extreme anxieties.

She also is very quick to try and defend and help peppino through anything, and will support him as much as she possibly can.

~other information~

Coming soon! Everytime I post about Anthea I will try and update this and link the posts!

[tybysis]

1:52 am

Hey Ty!

Trying to get back into the swing of journaling, but I again feel like I don’t have anything to write. This can’t be true, of course - I do things every day - but there is no really big emotional things that seemed to happen every single day in highschool and before. Being away from my abusers has done wonders. There are many days that I do almost nothing at all, but watch a few episodes of a show with Kitty - we’re watching Sweet Tooth right now, and Bofuri - play a videogame - I downloaded Dave The Diver for self-indulgent purposes - and take out the trash, which is my chore. I tell myself that I am frugal, but really, I am just used to being poor, which I don’t really think is the same thing. 

I’m working on paying off my credit card so that we’ll have a decent safety net when Kitty is here - can you imagine, a $2200 safety net? Jesus christ - and making a list in my head of things that need to be done in entirety before she and the others move up here. 

Mom mentioned that they’re still looking for places as well, but I told her ages ago - almost a whole year now, actually - that I planned to have Kitty living here by this Thanksgiving, or at the latest, this Christmas. That was before Curse imploded that plan. We didn’t learn what he’d done until it was the new year.

I meant to call Uncle David and Mom-mom Peebles this weekend, but didn’t. Time is kind of fucky, and it always has been, but the pandemic made it worse. I feel like it’s still 2021, when it definitely is 2023. I’m almost 30. Jesus christ. 

Speaking of, I don’t read the Bible or do bible study anymore, and I stopped going to church when we moved. CCV was part of my ever-full schedule of things to be doing that weren’t being idle at home, and once we were far from it, I didn’t feel like going through the hassle of trying to find a church. Especially since the vast majority of my religion is bigots and racists, most of which would be in the churches around here. Because we moved deeper into Trump Country. There are people who have Trump 2024 or w/e signs on their lawns. But there are also people who vandalize those signs, so… white on white crime I guess. Working at BJs I met a whole lot of people with just ass opinions about others, and working the phones I’ll get clients that will go into xenophobic or racist tirades. I don’t do anything but weather through it and get disgusted, but at least I know that those people are out there and real. I remember one of my first customers was a person in PA who was talking about how she didn’t trust anyone because of COVID, and how she was taking care of her two adult special needs children and had been on her own for about a decade. All she watched was Fox News and that alt right tv station that John Oliver did a whole thing on. I remember that she said specifically “I don’t see how they could make a chip so small that it could be put in a vaccine, but that’s what they say”, and I was like… you’re so close to getting it. But all I said was “You’re right, that does sound really unlikely.” and the conversation moved on. 

I like my job cause I really do help people every day when I can, and I get to speak to people and for a while, a good two hours, I get to know them a little. A lot of them are nuero-spicy, as the kids say, but I am able to understand them and logic it out of them because I am also that way. It’s easy to relate to people and simply be polite as I try to figure out a best way to help them. I get a lot of compliments about how helpful and efficient and professional I am - but I think being professional is just treating people like people and being polite. That is a cheat code I could have used earlier in life. It is easy to know what to do when you’ve been trained to do it, and then do it well. Selling insurance is easy that way. Once you understand it, you can teach it to others, so that people can understand their own medical decisions and payments and stuff. Medicare and Medicaid and all that stuff can be a bit ass backwards if you get the wrong definitions from the beginning, but once you get it straight, you can. 

My favorite customers are probably the Russians. We have an interpreter line we call and get translators, and then the three of us go through and have a conversation through the translator. Since reading Babel, I think about it a lot, but it really feels good to reach an understanding. I love being able to just explain and explain and check if they have questions, and at the end ask if they’re interested. I’ve always been told I’m a good sales person, but really I just explain things as straight forward as I can, and if it’s a good deal, the person can see for themselves. I haven’t convinced them of anything. I’ve always felt that way, even when selling A.C. Moore gold memberships or BJ’s credit cards. If it is a good fit for you, it is. If it isn’t, it isn’t, and there’s no pressure either way. 

We get a commission of $25 per sale and then get paid around the 3rd check of the following month, but I don’t really think that $25 is worth fucking someone over. Especially since medical insurance can make or break someone’s health and LIFE. There are coworkers who really get it - Ignitist is cool, because their slogan is Do Good, and they mean it - and there are coworkers who are clearly just in it for the money. One of them, a guy named Michael, irks me every time I see him in chat. Once, he made me so angry and upset by disregarding the needs of his client in order to make a sale that I had to go on an hour lunch. Thankfully, Christina, my supervisor, is always super understanding and she definitely talked to him and the post was deleted. 

Speaking of work, one of the things me and Hailey - my therapist - and I managed to do is get an ADA reasonable accomidation for me. The ADA is the Americans with Disabilities Act, and if you are diagnosed with one of the protected disorders or diseases, you can ask for a reasonable accommodation, and your job has to either accommodate you, or offer their own reasonable accommodation. All this to say, I work 32 hours a week - Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. My mental health is much better since doing so. Knowing that I only have to get through two shifts and then I get a break is a godsend. I actually read that a lot of companies in other countries have been trying the four day work week, and they’ve found, just like I have, that the work life balance is much much better. I can breathe. Before, I got a job not just because of the needing money bit, but because I needed to interact with other people or I just wouldn’t. Luckily, I still have a job that lets me do that, but I get to stay home. Thank god. I was having panic attacks from working the desk every single day. 

My job is still draining though. I call outbound, which means it’s a lot of getting hung up on and sometimes people are really rude. But I found that the repetition isn’t so bad if I’m drawing, or coloring, or if I have a headphone in listening to music in one ear while focusing with the other. It just works. I am good at my job, but that’s because when I put my mind to it, I can be good at anything. That’s how it works. 

Speaking of Art, it’s day 24 of Art Fight, which is an online website where people upload their ocs and draw other people’s for points. I’ve made so much art this art fight. My art growth is exponential. Kitty actually uploaded the first art I did of Richard, back in 2020, and then compared it to the first attack I did toward him this year, 2023, and the difference is insane. Like everything else, art is something that you get better at the more you do it. But art, like videogames, is one of those things I cannot monetize. Because it’s hard, sure, but also, because I don’t want to. When I was trying to be a youtuber and a twitch streamer - which we all have tried at least once I think lol - the thought of having to edit all our videos was fucking exhausting. Knowing that recording and playing and being funny wasn’t enough, but that I had to turn around and edit all of that in a funny way? No way, man. Not for me. I barely play videogames now unless I remind myself to do it and put it on my daily to do list. Because really, remembering to do things for myself is hard. 

Back when I was super busy, I only had time to watch things when it was with someone. Mags and I do Wednesday nights, which is just every Wednesday we watch some episodes of something, or a movie, together and just decompress over trast. The dedication to that over these years is the only reason we are still friends. I know that, because relationships are work, friendships are work, and you gotta do it even if it sucks, even if you don’t want to as much the next week, because it is a sign of devotion. Even if I’m not sure how I feel about Mags at the moment, at least I know that if things get rough, a plan works. That’s true with all friendships, and all relationships. If you are determined to make it work, then it could work. If it’s worth it.

But that means that when I am not watching things with someone, even if I have the time, it doesn’t occur to me to watch things on my own. I actually started watching Rise of the TMNT on netflix specifically because of that - because if I am not watching with someone, I do not watch. If I wasn’t playing games with someone, I did not game. And I need to do these little things for myself. That’s why I got my ipad. Because making art is only for me. I mean, during art fight it is also for the people whose characters I draw, and a lot of the time my art is of Kitty’s characters and mine interacting, but it’s self indulgent, it’s mine, and it’s for me. So I do a lot of it. 

I might upload my two different arts of Richard as a comparison, because I do think its a good reminder. I’ll put them under this so that I can have proof: 

[INSERT TWO (well three) RICHARDS HERE:]

Talk about improvement, amirite?

I also need to head to bed now, Ty. But it was nice talking to you again, getting used to hearing my voice again, knowing that my thoughts are important. 

I’ve been listening to Once In A Lifetime by the Talking Heads, which is one of my songs. Like, if I were to fall into the Upside Down, that is what would play to know what was going on. I always loved this song, from the first time I ever heard it. If it, Lake Pontchatrain, or the Nickelback cover of The Devil Went Down To Georgia aren’t my top song of the year, spotify is a fucking liar. Though I guess Betty (Get Money) is probably up there too. Those ones will definitely be in my top five, unless a new earworm comes out before November. It’s possible. NSP’s album with Thunder and Lightning came out in October and that song was in my top 3 despite it only being a month. Lol. Never underestimate the power of a single song on repeat. 

Anyway, sleep is important. Love you, Ty

Kay

[androidcharles]

And we're back! I'm gonna try to update every Wednesday (or every other Wednesday depending) but in the meantime, under the readmore is Chapter 2! Enjoy!

Chapter Directory First (also Previous) | Next ->

A week had passed since Charles had been kidnapped by the N.E.R.Ds. The case they were working had everything to do with them, considering that they were now out in the open. Despite the fact that they were expected to work together (as that’s what they did super well), Henry and Ellie were the only ones really doing anything about the case, searching the city for any clues as to where the new hideout for the N.E.R.Ds was.

Charles, meanwhile, had taken it upon himself to keep an eye on the Toppat girl who was behind the strings of robberies. So far, it had been quiet on her front, but Charles was keeping an eye on the locations that had been hit thanks to Henry and Ellie’s book keeping.

“It seems like those nerds have found a new hiding spot,” Ellie said, pouring over a map of Stickburg while Henry played with some string, “We’re having a hell of a time locating them though. What about you Charles?”

“I don’t know, maybe she knows we’re onto her…” Charles said. He didn’t know if Ellie or Henry knew the Toppat was an android as well. Maybe they already knew but that was very unlikely. Still, it was almost upsetting that she was hiding out again. But it’s as Wendell said; Toppats were always a bit slippery.

“Well, it’s alright. She’s been slipping away from the authorities too. We’ve been running ourselves ragged trying to find these guys though. We’ve managed to arrest one or two, but the general said ‘Deja vu’ whenever we capture them because they didn’t have much to go on,” Ellie said.

“Kinda like the Toppats…” Charles muttered.

YEAH, YOU GUYS WERE HAVING A TIME PINNING THEM DOWN BEFORE YOU GOT MY HELP, Henry signed very smugly as Charles puffed his cheeks out at him.

“You act like you did ALL the work. I helped you, you know. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have been able to get those documents!” Charles said. Henry shrugged as he went back to work on the string.

“Maybe there’s a connection… do you think the N.E.R.Ds are working with whatever remaining Toppats are out there? Some had to get away!”

“Not too many. Other than our mystery girl, most of the Toppats that got away were low ranking goons among the bunch. Not enough to really inspire or kick start a new frontier, according to the general,” Charles said, “Heck, I’m going against protocol looking after this girl for you guys.”

“What?! Charles if you’re gonna get in trouble, than me or Henry-”

“No, no, it’s fine! I could use the practice on the field. I might have to start somewhere considering you know… I’m not very good at fighting and all...” Charles said.

“Well that’s true. We just don’t want you to get in trouble,” Ellie said.

“Pfft, please. I’ve been in trouble before for doing things I wasn’t supposed to. Most of the time I got a slap on the wrist. Other times well… mopping the complex is very hard when Rupert keeps nagging you about how I convince him to do dumb things,” Charles said. Henry let out a small ‘hmph’ as Ellie gave Charles a sort concerned look.

“I just don’t want you to push it. One day you’re gonna get in a situation where not even General Galeforce can really back you up. Your safety net can fray at any time you know…”

“I’ll be fine!” Charles said, “Besides, you guys wouldn’t have asked me to keep an eye on her if it wasn’t important. I just have to not use government equipment when doing it.”

“Aren’t you technically government equipment?”

“I’m my own person Ellie, geez… they can’t pull that whole ‘you’re a piece of equipment’ bullshit on me. If I quit, they can’t exactly take out my weapons or erase my memories of the time I spent there… well they can erase all the top secret information that I have on me right now, including the launch codes…”

“THE WHAT!?” Henry and Ellie shouted. Charles pursed his lips as he pressed his fingers together.

“You didn’t hear that.”

“Fine,” Ellie said, “What are you gonna do?”

“Well, for the past few weeks, our Toppat has been going in a pattern around town. She might hit either this store or this store next,” Charles said, “At least, that’s what Henry said.”

“Well, Henry used to be a thief, but if it were me, I would throw them off, and hit a more secluded location away from the pattern,” Ellie said.

MAYBE SHE’S DOING IT TO GET ATTENTION. TRY TO KEEP THE TOPPAT CLAN A THREAT WITHOUT IT REALLY BEING ONE, Henry said.

“I have to agree with Henry here. I mean, if I wanted to plan a comeback if I was part of a criminal syndicate, I would probably try to get as much attention as possible…” Charles said. The three were silent as Henry suddenly came to a realization.

CHARLES… WHERE ARE REG… THE TOPPAT LEADER AND HIS RIGHT HAND MAN LOCKED UP?

“Very secure prison. Not even the Wall can compare. They’d have to get assistance from some top tier prison breakers in order get out. Even than, security is air tight…” Charles said.

“Henry you’re being paranoid… but than again, she’s kind of like you. She always seems to have the right thing at the right time. You don’t think…”

IN ALL HONESTY, IT WOULDN’T BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE LIKE ME TO EXIST. BUT I HIGHLY DOUBT SHE’S ANYTHING LIKE ME. IT COULD BE POSSIBLE THAT SHE’S JUST CRAZY PREPARED…

“So you think that this girl is eventually going to try to find out where these guys are being held and break them out? I don’t know… why wouldn’t she have done that a long time ago? Why wait?” Charles asked.

“Maybe to keep the government off her heels?” Ellie said.

“But than why the robberies? She’s not exactly hiding her face. Even from far away, you can kinda tell what she looks like,” Charles said, “Ugh, either my processors are out of date or this isn’t making any sense!”

“The latter, more likely.” Ellie set down her coffee cup and scanned the map, “So why don’t you stake out the location you had in mind for her next robbery. Me and Henry will continue to work the N.E.R.D case.”

“What? I’ve been staking out pretty much every night for the past few days. Are you sure you guys don’t need my help?” Charles asked.

“We’ll manage Charlie. Just stay out of trouble,” Ellie said, “And don’t hesitate to call us if you need our help.”

“Got it.”

- - - - -

For the fourth night in a row, Charles was sitting in an alleyway, trying to keep a low profile as he watched the street carefully for any signs of strange activity. He had gotten used to this at this point, but he wondered how so many people could keep it up without getting completely bored. He checked his internal clock, groaning that it had only been an hour since he started. Maybe he should bail and take Ellie’s advice; look into an out of the way jewelry store.

“HELP! THIEF! STOP HER!”

“SHE’S GETTING AWAY! SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!”

That’s my cue!

Charles jumped out of the alleyway, practically sprinting down the sidewalk as he followed the sound of the ruckus before he suddenly flinched at the huge explosion. He gasped as from the smoke emerged the girl, carrying a sack presumably full of stolen jewelry as she suddenly leapt fifty feet into the air before running across the rooftop.

“Damn, she’s good…” Charles muttered as he turned his arm into a grappling hook, pulling himself up to the top of the building and pursuing her. He leapt from building to building, trying to keep focused on her (mostly due to the fact that she was giving off a wi-fi signal) and keep himself from plunging to his death below.

He came to a screeching halt as he suddenly came to a gap he couldn’t quite jump over. He growled as he grabbed the ledge of the building, cursing his dad and the general for not allowing him to have any flight capabilities. Where was she?

“You’re tracking me…”

Charles gasped as he turned around to see the girl, her eyes filled with curiosity as she walked towards him, bag still in hand. She tossed it to the side as Charles tried to look intimidating, crouching down into a fighting stance as she charged at him. He was quick to dodge as he grabbed her leg and tried to trip her up, but she was faster, immediately turning her hand into a laser cannon and firing at him. Quickly dodging, he flipped back, trying not to look nervous as he turned his hand into a laser sword in an attempt to be intimidating.

“Really, Unit CC? You’re gonna do that?” Amelia said as she turned her own hand into the same thing.

“Unit… how did you know my old name?!” Charles shouted as she charged at him.

“You don’t remember me? A little thing called Project SAI!?” she shouted as she slashed at him. He dodged the attacks as he swung back, his swings impacting her own sword as he gritted his teeth.

“Why would I remember you? I barely remember the first year of my life!” Charles shouted. She gasped as she jumped back, a sort of shocked look on her face.

“You… you don’t remember me?” she said softly.

“AM I SUPPOSED TO!?” Charles shouted, “Either way you’re a Toppat, so I’m going to take you down and arrest you, right here and right now!” Charles’ hand turned into a laser blaster as the girl gasped before she charged at Charles, knocking him down off of the building, his blast going flying into the sky as he panicked.

He turned his hand into a grappling hook and hooked onto the nearest building, swinging around as he scanned the rooftops for the girl, before going back to his usual tracking methods. Suddenly, a chat box popped up on his UI, aggravating him a little.

“NOT NOW!” Charles muttered, trying to close it, before a message popped up.

GlitterToppatGirl: You aren’t going to get anywhere trying to track me. If you attack me, I’m just going to attack you. No matter how much it hurts.

xXBold_Action_ManXx: Why do you care? Charles typed in response, And how did you know my old name?

GlitterToppatGirl: How come you don’t remember me? Did the government erase your memories?

xXBold_Action_ManXx: No, they didn’t. I was found without my memories.

GlitterToppatGirl: How do you know that? You can’t trust them you know.

xXBold_Action_ManXx: I trust them. Whether you like it or not. And I’m gonna find you again whether you like it or not!

“We’ll see about that…” Before Charles could even say anything, Amelia was right behind him. He didn’t have a chance to attack her before she shot him in both of his legs, causing him to cry out as he fell to the ground, shaking as she looked at him with her cold blue eyes.

“I’m sorry Unit CC…” she whispered before running off once again.

“No… god damn it… my self reparation… C’mon, c’mon…” Charles muttered as INSUFFICIENT MATTER flashed on his screen.

These picky things I swear, Charles thought to himself as activated his cell phone, calling Ellie.

“Charles? What’s going on, what happened?” Ellie said.

“My legs… the girl blasted them. She’s an android just like me!” Charles shouted.

“What!? How come you didn’t tell us!?”

“I… I just found out too!” Charles lied, “Anyway, I need your help. You need to get to Donavan Street and bring me something to eat OK? Any matter will do!”

“We’re on our way!” Ellie hung up as Charles pressed his head against the ground, whimpering a bit, not only at the pain but at the fact that he let the Toppat get away. Why did this feel so familiar?

Meanwhile, from the top of the building, Amelia watched as Charles lay on the ground, feeling a bit guilty about leaving him there.

“Why the hell does this have to be so complicated? Why did he, of all androids, have to saved by the government?”

- - - - -

Charles lay back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he mindlessly watched a Newtube video to get his mind off of things. He heard a knock at the door and turned his head.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” Charles perked up as he saw his friend Henry walk in, all smiles, but his eyes full of concern.

ARE YOU FEELING ALRIGHT NOW? LEGS IN PAIN?

“Not anymore,” Charles said, “They just sustained a bit of damage, but it was mostly minor. I hate to say this, but I don’t think she was trying to hurt me. I think she was just trying to prevent me from chasing her.”

THAT’S GOOD. I DON’T WANT YOU TO GET HURT. YOU’RE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

“Red flag alert…” Charles muttered, half jokingly as Henry walked towards him, sitting next to him and rubbing his back. Charles hugged him tightly, smiling as Henry giggled.

FOR AN ANDROID, YOU’RE QUITE WARM.

“I… well, you know. Processing and all that,” Charles said, “My self replicating nanites also serve as a coolant though, so I’ll never overheat, hehe…”

KINDA LIKE BLOOD… ARE YOU REALLY ALRIGHT?

“I’m fine Henry. Don’t worry,” Charles said softly, “I’ve been in worse pickles. One time, half of my face came off of my… well face, and man was it hard to explain that to Konrad and Calvin. They thought I was like… a Terminator or something.”

I WOULDN’T BE SHOCKED.

“This is the part where I’d quote the movie but… I’ve never watched the movie,” Charles admitted.

GUESS I KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING FOR MOVIE NIGHT, Henry signed hopefully. Charles smiled as Henry relaxed against his shoulder, giving Charles a warm fuzzy feeling as he sighed, trying to figure out what to say next.

“Henry, I’m sorry that I didn’t catch the girl. I was kind of hoping I could catch her because she’s so dangerous, you know. I mean, a Toppat that’s equipped like that, what if she tries to break the leaders out of prison?”

I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT PLACE WAS SECURE.

“It is! For the most part, but the question is; is it Henry proof?” Charles said smugly. The two giggled as Henry shrugged.

WHO KNOWS? I’M JUST GLAD YOU GUYS MANAGED TO CAPTURE ME. I KNOW I TRIED TO BE A BIG SHOW OFF EARLIER TODAY, BUT IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU, WE WOULDN’T HAVE TAKEN THE TOPPAT CLAN DOWN THE FIRST TIME. I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU BRO.

“Ditto. But according to the soldiers, it’s almost like you wanted to be captured… why was that?” Henry shrugged as he waved his hands, smiling sheepishly at him as he stood up, getting ready to go bed for the night.

JUST GO AHEAD AND HEAD INTO SLEEP MODE OR… HOWEVER YOU WANNA CALL IT. I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

“Mhm! See ya tomorrow Henry. Have a good night,” Charles said softly. Suddenly he thought of something and as Henry approached the door, he looked up.

“H-hey, Henry?” Charles asked. He wanted to ask why Henry was always so overprotective of him, why he always seemed to be the most concerned whenever he was hurt or in danger.

“What’s up?” Henry said softly. Charles sighed as he shook his head.

“Nevermind, it wasn’t important,” Charles said, “Good night.” Henry waved as he headed out the door, closing it behind him as Charles laid back on his bed, trying to think of anything besides what happened today. What did that girl mean by him not remembering her? Was there something to what she said. His processors spun out of wack as a couple of error messages appeared on his UI, aggravating him a little.

“Shut up,” Charles muttered, laying down on the bed and putting himself into sleep mode. Maybe his dreams would make a little more sense.

But in a way, they didn’t make sense.

Here he was, back in a place he didn’t recognize, in a dark room sitting down, not being able to move. And a cold steely gaze looking his way as he shook in place, trying to make sense of what was going on as his head started to pound. It was funny, he didn’t usually experience the phenomenon known as the headache in the waking world, but here, it was always so clear. Especially when the graphics that were holding his dream together kept glitching.

“Hello… who are you?” Charles said softly as the eyes suddenly moved, causing him to reach his hand out. He felt a sharp pain in his arm as he did this, cringing a bit as he finally stood up, shaking and shivering as he started to head towards the edge of the dark room.

It was hard to tell where the room ended and where it began, but for the longest time, it felt like he was swimming in an inky blackness, with the occasional sharp twitch from his RAM not quite cooperating with him.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up…” Charles muttered as he saw the error messages popping up in his peripheral vision. Finally, he bumped into a wall, groaning as he rubbed against the walls, finding a sort of turn wheel. He strained himself as he turned it, until it finally let out a small hiss, the pressure causing a door to open. He squinted against the new light, pushing the door open as he found himself in a grain field.

The world around him seemed distorted somehow. Fake, but not exactly real. He could feel the grain against the palms of his hands, but for some reason, it felt like the wheat was going right through him at the same time. A horrible pain shot up in the back of his head as he continued forward, trying to keep his mind off of what was happening as he saw a small town in the distance.

As he walked closer and closer towards it, he began to feel sort of funny. The world around him was glitching more and more as he headed up the stairs towards the windmill, feeling like he shouldn’t do this, like something would go wrong. He finally reached the top of the stairs, error messages alike flickering in his vision as he saw the silhouette of… someone…

Their body wasn’t quite right. It looked like someone he should recognize but at the same time, he didn’t know who it was. He wanted to know who it was, but at the same time he couldn’t quite figure it out. The figure glitched as it reached out towards him, as if trying to speak to him.

“Who are yoAUUAAAUGH!” Charles cried out, suddenly falling to the ground as he clutched his head. He tried to look up, but the world around him was slowly falling apart.

He couldn’t move.

ERROR! FILES MISSING OR CORRUPTED!

ERROR! FILES MISSING OR CORRUPTED!

ERROR! FILES MISSING OR CORRUPTED!

Shut up…

ERROR! FILES MISSING OR CORRUPTED!

SHUT UP….

ERROR! FILES MISSING OR CORRUPTED!

“SHUT UP!!” Charles screamed, suddenly rocketing up from his bed. He shook in place, taking deep breaths as his processors worked overtime trying to keep him calm as the error messages flickered away. This wasn’t the first time he had this nightmare, but it had been a while since he’d had it.

The last time he had it was after he had helped Henry infiltrate the airship. It was strange, because back than, he couldn’t think of anything that really prompted said nightmare. Maybe it was something he had done or someone he had talked to. Either way, he let out a small sigh as he sat up in bed properly, wondering if maybe it was connected to something. A bad decision, something that could go wrong, maybe even his own paranoia?

And now he was hearing things, he thought to himself as he heard a soft tapping. It sounding like someone tapping against glass actually… coming from behind him. He turned and saw the Toppat girl, looking at him through the window as he felt a small pressure in his abdomen. He remembered Ellie telling him that’s the equivalent of having a stomach ache. Suddenly a chat message popped up on his UI.

GlitterToppatGirl: Can we talk?

xXBold_Action_ManXx: No, good night. He tried to hide under the covers as another message popped up on the chat log.

GlitterToppatGirl: Please?

Charles groaned as he pulled himself out of the covers, looking at the girl, who had a sort of soft look in her eyes, nothing compared to the cold stare she had given him earlier. He sighed, feeling as it he had no choice. Slipping on his slippers and making sure that Henry and Ellie weren’t awake, he carefully opened his door and closed it quietly behind him. He grabbed a key for the apartment as he opened it quietly, closing it behind him before locking it.

He scanned the area, looking for the girl before he got another ping in his chat log.

GlitterToppatGirl: Up here.

She was right.

He headed down the stairs before pulling out his grappling hook, shooting it up towards the roof and finally ascending, feeling the cold evening air rushing around him as as he scaled the building, panicking a bit as he slipped. He looked down to see his slipper had only fallen off of his foot. He let out a small sigh, finally climbing onto the roof and saw her, staring at him intently.

Her bright blue eyes shone in the low light of the moon as she walked towards him, almost nervous.

“Hello,” she said.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t tell Henry and Ellie about you right now,” Charles said firmly.

“I just wanna talk,” she said, “Please, don’t do anything drastic.”

“I have to. You’re a Toppat,” Charles said, “So give me one good reason, right now…”

“Please, just listen to me,” she said, “I’m sorry that I blasted your legs. I had to get away from you because I wasn’t ready…”

“READY TO WHAT, GET ARRESTED?!” Charles shouted.

“Please, keep your voice down!” she shouted back.

“I can be as loud as I want to be! Just give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have you arrested!”

“BECAUSE I KNOW YOU!”

Charles gasped as he saw the desperation in her eyes, almost pleading as he suddenly backed off, feeling strange. Wait, he shouldn’t feel bad for her. She’s a Toppat, but still, at the same time, he felt like he shouldn’t let her down.

“I’m sorry, OK, I’m sorry that this had to happen this way! But the fact that you don’t even remember me or anything, it’s just scaring me! I don’t know what to tell you, but you really should remember me. They erased your memories, didn’t they?”

“The government? N-no, not at all. In fact, I’m not sure what would make you come to that conclusion. My memories were gone before I was even found by the government. The only thing I remember is a cold dark room with bright blue eyes watching me…” Charles shivered, trying not to think of his nightmare.

“So you remember that… what was the first thing you remember when you first woke up?” she asked.

“I remember, General Galeforce… back than he wasn’t a general, he was just a captain. He… he wanted to liberate me. To have me repaired because they thought I would be useful,” Charles said softly, “And than I went to sleep for another month… and when I woke up, I was fully repaired and completely operational. What about you?”

“So they saved you… I can’t believe they saved you. I wish I had known… oh god…” she sighed as she put her hands in her face, trying to process what was happening as Charles tipped her head to the side.

“Um… I hate to ask, but who are you? I really need to know,” Charles said.

“So you can have me arrested?” she said coldly.

“N-no… so I can at least know what to call you,” Charles said.

“You can call me Amelia. Just Amelia for now,” she said, “I’m sorry that I freaked out at you earlier. I just can’t understand why you don’t remember me or Project SAI.”

“Project SAI does sound familiar,” Charles said, “I remember my dad talked about it, but other than that-” ERROR “-drawing a blank.”

“So you only know about Project SAI through word of mouth. Well I lived every moment of Project SAI, from when I was first booted up to it’s downfall at the hands of the government. Including the eradication of any androids associated with the project.”

“Is that why you became a Toppat? Because you can’t trust the government?” Charles said softly.

“Why would I? I was pretty sure they would have had me dismantled as well. And for about six years I had convinced myself that you were dead too. I’m happy that you’re alive… even if you don’t remember me,” Amelia said.

“Uh, that’s good, so now I have questions about that. How do you know me?” Charles asked.

“We used to be close. We were inseparable, according to the other androids. To the other androids, however, you were considered defective, due to some kind of strange malfunction. One day, you were tasked with something that you couldn’t easily do so they declared you defective officially and had you carted away to be… used for spare parts…” Amelia looked up at Charles as if she had just realized something as he tipped his head to the side.

“You… they erased your memories. Why would they do that? It’s not like… why would they…” Amelia felt like she was trying to put together the pieces of a twisted puzzle.

“OK, I hate to interrupt your freak out, but I gotta head back inside, because I don’t know how quiet I was when leaving and my friends are going to assume I’m missing. Again,” Charles said.

“Wait, we have to keep meeting up, right? We can still talk to each other?” Amelia said.

“What? No we can’t! We’re not on the same side and besides, even if I could, it would still be wrong!” Charles shouted.

“Please, I have to talk to you again, even if we’re not on the same side, I just have to!” Amelia said.

“There’s too much for this… we can’t exactly justify this kind of thing…” Charles said. But my heart says otherwise. I mean I don’t have a heart, but at the same time, it’s all in the mind, right?

It can’t hurt to meet with her again. Especially if we don’t exchange any sensitive information, it should be OK right?

“Alright, here’s the deal. We’ll meet again. Twice every month or so. But the rules are we can’t say anything about our respective jobs. We keep everything locked up tight. We ask about our days, we talk about movies we’ve seen, et cetera, et cetera. That’s it. If I promise not to pump you for information, you have to do the same for me as well. I’m not gonna tell you anything and you won’t say anything to me,” Charles said.

“And this stays between us?” Amelia said.

“As long as we can. I mean, the odds of us getting caught are pretty high, but in all honesty, I’m willing to take the risk,” Charles said.

“Alright than. Maybe I’ll see you in a few weeks than…” Amelia waved goodbye as she ran across the roof before jumping on top of a nearby building, running off into the night. Charles sighed, wondering just what he had gotten himself into.

Maybe it’ll work out. And maybe if I do get caught, it won’t be so bad. After all, I’m not going to be exchanging any sensitive information. It’ll all work out in the end, right?

- - - - -

Amelia stepped into her own apartment, looking around before letting out a small sigh. She started to take off her formal clothes, quickly changing into something more comfortable before she sat down on the couch, looking up at the ceiling.

“Rough day?” Amelia looked up and saw Burt hovering over her, fiddling with his cane as she nodded her head.

Burt was the only Toppat they had managed to get out of the Wall so far. While Amelia would have prefered Sven or Carol or heck, even Red Crimson, Burt being here was still refreshing. Especially considering his own knowledge in technology and computers, being the former head of communications for the Toppat Clan. She was happy to work with him too, considering how close they were before the entire Clan was arrested.

“Did you find a seller for the jewels?” Amelia asked.

“Hmm, nothing yet. It’s only been an hour. We’ll get some bids soon though,” Burt said, “And than we can keep paying rent, giving those sweet dollars to those techno geeks-”

“-And of course, ensuring a budget for ourselves in the event we can actually get the rest of the clan out of the Wall. And than we can rescue my dad and the Right Hand Man…” Amelia said.

“Yep, but I wouldn’t count on it happening in a week. It’ll probably be another month or two before we have an actual concrete plan. Wendell himself said so,” Burt said.

“They promised they wouldn’t hurt the… government dog anymore. So I have less to worry about now…” Amelia paused as she said this, wondering if that was completely true.

“That’s the look of someone who made a promise that they’re not sure they can keep. What happened?” Burt asked.

“You know I snuck out?”

“Why do you think I’m awake?”

“Mmm… I’d rather not say right now. Just know that it’s not for our benefit.”

“Hmm.” Burt sat down next to her, letting out a small sigh.

“It’s at times like this I bet you miss your dad though. He’d probably offer some fatherly advice of some sort,” Burt said, putting his arm around her shoulder.

He’d probably tell me I’m making a big mistake. Say that I’m taking a huge risk. Maybe even get onto me for not pumping information out of him… Amelia thought to herself.

“Dad wouldn’t have really… approved of what I did, to be honest…” Amelia said.

“Aw, don’t say that. You’ll always be his little princess, no matter how old you get and how many bank heists you manage yourself,” Burt said.

“Yeah… I’m his little princess…” Amelia said, “I’m gonna turn in for the night.”

“For real this time?” Amelia smirked as Burt’s eyebrow shot up.

“For real this time.”

Meanwhile, across town, Charles had managed to sneak back to his room before he felt something tap his shoulder. He turned around to see Ellie looking at him with a sort of agitated look on her face, a slipper in her hand. His slipper.

“Lose something?” Ellie said softly as Charles snatched the shoe out of her hand.

“Don’t touch my stuff,” Charles muttered, “I’m not in the mood right now.”

“Can’t help if it was outside, you know, where you definitely don’t sleep. Just what are you up to?”

“Nothing. Nothing important anyway. It’s fine, I just had to… take a walk,” Charles said.

“With one slipper?” Ellie asked.

“I had to get the full sensory experience of having one shoe off. Just… GET OFF MY BACK ALREADY!” Charles shouted, before slamming the door in Ellie’s face. It didn’t really help that Ellie was practically cursing at him as he leaned against the door, trying to think about what to do next.

“It’s OK, Charles… you’re doing the right thing…” He pulled his head up to his knees, hugging his legs as he did.

At least I hope I am...

[safflowerseason]

I LOVE Gilmore Girls but it's weird that in a show so centred around class, it mainly only criticises the wealthy for being snooty and socially conservative. It has little to say on the wealth divide's uglier side. Its presentede that Lane, Dean & Jess couldn't go to Chilton or Yale because they weren't that academic anyway. Meanwhile it was only really Lorelai who had money problems (not Luke, Suki etc) and that was OK because she had a safety net that she was too proud/independent to use.

Hi Anon - I’m *so* sorry it’s taken me weeks to get around to your ask. But I loved your comment so much I wanted to take the time to offer a thoughtful response, especially because it’s a theme I’ve been chewing over in my head for the past few months, since I watched the latest season of AHP’s other show, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

I agree that Gilmore Girls has sort of become known over the years, in culture critic circles and online fan discourse, for its unflinching portrayal of how money shapes relationships across generations. And I also agree that for how much of the show revolves around money and wealth, the show never considers the other side of the middle-class divide - it just head-fakes there very occasionally, and usually pretty awkwardly. AHP is fundamentally uninterested in writing characters who truly struggle to make ends meet, as a basic condition of their daily lives. While that’s totally fine and fair, it stands out more on a show like Gilmore Girls, where money problems are a frequent plot device, a character having to deal with the true financial consequences of not having money never actually comes to pass. She uses the struggle to succeed as mark of valor in her characters, but even if that struggle has major financial risks (like Lorelai opening the Dragonfly Inn), the show never goes there. AHP is just not interested in exploring the material consequences of losing wealth or what it means to not have any money. Rather, a lot of the plot of Gilmore Girls is about how various characters on the scale from comfortably-middle-class to old-world-wealthy interpret money, wealth, and the idea of class status to define themselves in relation to others around them, and to influence the outcomes of interpersonal relationships. While the central conceit of the show is Lorelai turning to her parents for Rory’s private school tuition, she and her daughter live a mostly financially secure middle-class life in a prosperous town. In Gilmore Girls, AHP consistently mines the concept of wealth for conflict, but it’s always for interpersonal reasons, always to show something deeper going on within the relationships of the show, it’s never to actually consider what it means to not have that wealth in the first place. Unlike Jane Austen, none of AHP’s heroines ever run the risk of truly becoming impoverished.

As a result, you get moments on the show like Lorelai borrowing $30000 from Luke (which is the equivalent of $50000 in 2022) and then it’s never mentioned again, and Rory sputtering “but I’m a Gilmore!” to Logan when his family ends up hating her. No one in Stars Hollow is actually poor in a real sense, even those characters we might think of as having more traditional “working class” jobs. Even when Lane and her bandmates rent that one-bedroom house (a whole house!), you never get the sense they are *actually* struggling to feed themselves and pay utilities. Instead, that whole experience is framed in a primarily humorous way, with Lane having to find a way to live with two gross twenty-year old boys who eat all the food and play video games instead of being responsible roomates. Luke, who lives over his diner, has enough money stowed away to not only lend Lorelai half a million dollars but also buy a huge house without telling her. Jess is one of the few characters to be framed explicitly without a penny to his name, and yet we never actually see him dealing with the reality of that except very briefly in S4 (and that backdoor pilot in S3, I guess). Besides, the next time we see him in S6, he’s clearly on his way up, with a published book and a job at an independent press. This is another example of AHP equating the struggle to become financially secure as a sign of good character. Which, of course, it’s totally fine to want to get out of shitty economic circumstances! It’s just that on GG, no one ever stays in those circumstances for very long and/or the implications of those circumstances are never really explored. Where the implications of money *are* fully explored, it’s primarily with characters who have a lot of it, like Richard, Emily, Christopher, and Logan in their relationships with Lorelai and Rory. 

I was thinking about this topic while watching S4 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel a few months back, specifically the plot when Midge takes a job opening for Sophie Lennon because she’s so worried about money. The speech Sophie gives Midge about her finances, which is set in Midge’s apartment that she’s somehow bought back from Moishe in a way that was never satisfactorily explained, is very similar, almost identical, to the speech that Trix gives Lorelai in S4 about the Dragonfly Inn in “The Incredible Sinking Lorelais”, about how she’s very obviously bleeding through her original budget. Midge takes the gig, it blows up in her face just like Susie said it would, and then…well, she loses Sophie gig but we get no indication after that that her finances continue to be a source of angst. So I think of a lot of the way these themes of money and class are represented on Gilmore Girls are due to AHP’s particular quirks and interests as a writer. She likes to explore the interpersonal implications of wealth, but never the flip side of losing that wealth, nor are her depictions of the working-class and the middle-class especially realistic. Oh well! It is what it is. I wouldn’t describe AHP as a writer whose work is deeply grounded in reality. There’s a lot of fantasy in her world-building, which to be fair she has taken heat for. 

I suspect the reason the topic of money and class is a bit more sensitive within the GG fandom is because Rory has gotten so much hate over the years as the epitome of clueless white female privilege or whatever, and also because of the endless shipping wars between Jess and Logan fans. All of that discourse feels pretty exhausting to me—trying to reduce a character’s virtues down to how much money they have is pretty dumb (unless that person is a billionaire, in which case yes they are morally bankrupt). The point of Rory’s character is that she exists in the liminal space between her mother and her grandparents: she grew up with her mother in a middle class home but doesn’t reject the wealth and class status that is theoretically hers by virtue of her birth (and no, spending her early years in a shed doesn’t negate her financial privilege—sorry AHP, but the idea of Lorelai raising baby Rory in a shed on the grounds of a luxurious B&B where she worked as a maid is absolutely a rich person’s idea of what it means to be poor). Most of Rory’s blindspots I chalk up to AHP's lack of interest in figuring out how certain things work, like journalism and elite private universities.

I was going to go into a whole analysis of how class is specifically explored on the show (as opposed to money) through Rory's relationship's with Dean and Logan, but this is already a long enough essay so that will have wait for another time! Thanks so much for writing in, Anon, and for sending such a substantial ask!!

[jesuis-melodrama]

LadyNoir Inequality: Chat Noir’s Fall from Significance

How does Ladybug and Chat Noir's roles differ between the seasons? How was responsibility, positions, duties delegated between them? This essay analyses in detail how the LadyNoir fallout of Season 4 came to be, and how Chat Noir ultimately fell from hierarchal significance.

What attracted me to Miraculous, apart from the stellar animation and the potential of the in-universe powers, was the dynamic between Ladybug and Chat Noir. Like the camaraderie of the Phantom Thieves in Persona 5, the partnership between Ruby and Clancy in Ruby Redfort and the hierarchy of respect and power between the Hashira of Demon-Slayer, Marinette and Adrien interested me, because they are two very dissimilar people on separate standings who mutually trusts, supports, and depends on one another despite being different in almost every single way. Their powers, although complimenting, are not comparable, and their personalities, although cordial, are inverse. But despite these odds, Ladybug and Chat Noir are not just friends, companions, and confidants, but equals.

 The first episode of the series, The Bubbler, demonstrates this splendidly (Author’s Note: The Bubbler is the first episode available on Netflix. Chronologically, Stormy Weather is the first official episode, but the same values hold up). It was a jarring introduction to a new show. The audience has no idea who Adrien and Marinette were, what Tikki and Plagg were or why these magical girl transformations suddenly granted them the powers to fight the maniacal butterfly man, but we can recognise the symptoms of two people already deep into the composition of their friendship. The Bubbler threw the smoothness and effectiveness of their teamwork directly into the faces of the audience, and it was brilliant.  

We weren’t weighed down by the gritty details of the beginning, we don’t have to watch the awkward bumbling, the introductions or the unsurety of two strangers who have yet enough reason to trust one another. We were immediately thrusted into the middle of their partnership. The first thing Chat Noir did when he stepped onto the scene was to defend Ladybug and the first thing she did was to joke around comfortably, clearly relieved that he had finally arrived. After watching Marinette obsessively creep around Adrien’s house, trying to show love to a boy she barely knows, and watching Adrien uncomfortably trying to enjoy a social event which he desperatedly wanted but is clearly inexperienced in, the sudden switch of persona and their sudden familiarity and reliance on one another was a fresh breath of air and it made Miraculous a show worth investing in.

We may not know what happened between them, how they received their powers and how they know each other, but it is obvious some catalytic event has tied Ladybug and Chat Noir together. And by all the features exhibited (another great thing, the words spoken were only secondary to the demonstrative body language) the audience was immediately aware that they have stepped into something sacred, something unbreakable. And even with the thick wall of secret and unspeakable identities between them, we feel comforted when we see them together, because they are comfortable and happy with one another.

So, fourteen monster-of-the-day episodes later, when Season 1 presented the first inklings of Miraculous’ overarching plot, watching Marinette and Adrien receive their Miraculous, meet each other as civilians and then as superheroes, the scene is nostalgic and sentimental, and aided by the fantastic animation, the audience can appreciate and remember the defining passage as an evocative and triggering moment for years afterwards.

But that is not to say their partnership hasn’t been without fault.

The cracks were always present, but as the seasons rolled on, it only became more obvious. Their roles were disparate. Ladybug comes up with the plans, Ladybug comes up with the solutions and more often than not, Chat Noir is used as a tool and a distraction for Ladybug’s success. Ladybug had the Lucky Charm and the Miraculous Cure. Chat Noir can stand on his own, defend and attack as an individual, but apart from using the Cataclysm as Ladybug directs, Chat Noir has no outstanding impact on the defeat of any akuma. He does not contribute to any tactics, and he cannot win without Ladybug because he has nothing to offer strategically.  

Assets aside, there is also the matter of leadership.

The audience finds out that Chat Noir initially took the frontman role in The Origins. He attacked Stoneheart first while Ladybug dithered behind. But as Ladybug regained confidence, she took the leadership position in both episodes, and Chat Noir was more than happy to follow. Thus, their dynamic was laid down. They both showed satisfaction with their place in the relationship, Chat Noir often yielding to her judgement, such as in Stormy Weather and Dark Cupid, and Ladybug asserts that Chat Noir was in her team in Antibug.

The first big indicator of disagreement in this mutually agreed arrangement was in Syren. A contentious episode, the consequence of Chat Noir physically rebelling against Ladybug’s decision for the first time. All the way to Season 4, Rena Rogue has stirred conflict and mistrust between the duo. When I watched Ladybug leading Rena Rogue away while Chat Noir stared angrily at their retreating backs, I remembered hoping that the episode would end with Ladybug telling Chat Noir everything, so that they could have their Season 1 relationship back. Where they navigated this confusing and alien new world together, hiding so much from the public and each other, but never their authenticity and belief in one another.  

I wished that Ladybug had told Chat Noir about the Guardian. I wished that both of them had been privy to the information from the very beginning and I wished that both of them knew who the other Miraculous Holders were because they chose them together. Realistically, someone in the show should’ve connected the dots, and realised that most of the Miraculous Holders were attending a specific class in Collège Françoise Dupont and were all associated with a specific person. That was the only reason I could think of why having Ladybug and Chat Noir choosing the Holders together is a bad idea. It would threaten their identity (which at that point, was still a concern).

But canonically, Ladybug constantly chose Holders who were dangerously close to the situation. Kagami in Ikari Gozen, Chloé in Malediktator, Rose in Guiltrip and Max in Startrain. The only Holder Chat Noir has chosen wasn’t even chosen by his particular identity. Adrien suggested that Luka might be a good Snake, and Ladybug heeded his words, not Chat Noir’s. I wished there was a single scene where Ladybug and Chat Noir analysed the situation and the potential Holder together, looked at each other, no words needed to be said, just a nod and a telepathic agreement shared through their eyes, and Ladybug would present the next Holder with a Miraculous with her and her partner’s approval both given.

What was the point of keeping their identities hidden?

In Season 1, it made some sense. They had no idea the Guardian existed. Even if Chat Noir was reluctant, they can both agree that they could not take their chances, should one of them be captured. But with the reveal of the Guardian’s identity in Season 2, the need for secret identities is almost eradicated. Clearly, there is someone who is an even bigger threat to their civilian lives than Ladybug and Chat Noir are to each other. Ladybug is now burdened with a bigger cache of knowledge. Should one of them be captured, it can only be hoped that it would be Chat Noir, because unlike Ladybug, he could not spew information about potions and kwami and secret books and the Guardian’s location.

In Season 3, the climax of Miracle Queen places the duties of the Guardian directly in Ladybug’s hand. She is now in charge of all the heroes in Paris, she is now the leading physical and strategic force in the battle against Hawk Moth and she is now officially stated as Leader, not just holding a de facto position.

In Season 4, the need for secret identities is gone. Ladybug is the Guardian. She and her original partner, Chat Noir, has no more safety nets in keeping their identities hidden from each other because there is no longer a background link tying them. Should Marinette be incapacitated, should Adrien meet an accident, there is no one reading their news who is available to inform the other person. The only reason why Chat Noir’s identity continues to be hidden from Ladybug is because she does not want to know. The only reason why Ladybug does not reveal her identity to Chat Noir is because she does not want him to know.

Chat Blanc could be inserted as a contending factor. Chat Blanc saw to it that the reveal of their identities to one another could lead the end of the world.

But Chat Blanc was not the only factor.

Season 4 Marinette is overwhelmed and stressed and guilt-ridden. Season 4 Marinette tore herself apart trying to maintain the kwami, her Guardian duties and continue moonlighting as Ladybug. Season 4 Marinette was at the end of her tether, and at this point, Chat Noir’s presence and his insistence was no longer a support or a comfort but another chore and responsibility to be balanced.

Her support network as both Marinette and Ladybug were extinguished. Thus, in a peaking moment of weakness, she finally revealed her identity to Alya.

Marinette met Alya and Chat Noir on the same day. Two strangers both became her friend, two insistent strangers who were united in their goal to find out Ladybug’s identity. Marinette hid her secret life from Alya, Ladybug hid her civilian identity from Chat Noir. As Marinette, she was supported by passionate, fierce, and rash Alya who jumped to conclusions and unnerved Marinette with her determination to find out the truth about Ladybug. As Ladybug, she was supported by passionate, fierce, and rash Chat Noir who impulsively leapt into battles and irritated her with his constant declarations of love.

But Marinette had connections to Alya as both Marinette and Ladybug. She found herself acknowledging Alya’s true character and learned to rely on her through a multitude of trust falls and confrontations. Marinette made the decision to trust Alya, she made the decision to depend on a person she knows as both a citizen and a superhero.

She had no choice with Chat Noir. She never knew who he was, only that he was thrusted into the same situation as she was. Truth was an important concept to Marinette, she stated multiple times that she could not stand liars. And subsequently, she could never really trust Chat Noir because she does not know who he was.

Chat Noir was an emotional crutch during the finale of Season 2 and Season 3. He was the reason why she found the courage to go on despite the anxiety of her failures and the culmination of her carelessness. Throughout Antibug, Heroes’ Day, Gamer 2.0 and Miracle Queen, it was demonstrated that the only way Marinette could trust him and confide in her vulnerabilities was through Ladybug with him as Chat Noir. She couldn’t afford the trust the boy behind the mask, so, when it came to the end of her line, when she has no other choice, Alya was the one to receive the relinquishment of her identity, not Chat Noir.

Gang of Secrets signified the end of Chat Noir’s reign.

He was a founding member, one of the original team, once upon a time on equal par with Ladybug. But now, his presence only matters as much as a temporary hero’s. The released episodes of Season 4, Mr Pigeon 72, Sole-Crusher, and most noticeably, Optigami and Sentibubbler, demonstrated the redundance of his company. Both physically and emotionally, Rena Rouge (now known as Rena Furtive) has filled in as Ladybug’s partner. Chat Noir has to be sneaked around, shield from the fact that there is a new permanent hero and shield from the fact that now, there is one other person in the world who knows Ladybug’s identity, that isn’t him.

With Ladybug’s circle of temporary allies expanded, she no longer needs to rely on Chat Noir to be her support. She could gather up any number of useful powers she has at her disposal and expend them as she wished. In Megaleech, among the five-men team Ladybug had gathered, each one of them has contributed to the defeat of the akuma, with Polymouse outshining as the victor over the army of mini Malediktators, and each one of the other heroes playing a vital role in Ladybug’s plan. Chat Noir’s delegation? To distract the enemy while Ladybug gathered up her soldiers. In the end, he didn’t even use his power, marking the first time in a Miraculous episode that a hero was called upon and left without use. The Cataclysm is no longer necessary for the defeat of an akuma. But the Lucky Charm and the Miraculous Cure are as relevant now as they were when Stoneheart first attacked.

Optigami and Sentibubbler reached the apex of his unimportance. Both times, he was more of a hindrance than a reinforcement. He unconsciously prevented Marinette from becoming Ladybug, which derails the plan to Rena Rogue’s command. He has to be told by Marinette, the civilian, to stay out of the superhero’s plan, because there was nothing he could do that Rena Rogue wasn’t already doing.

The Cataclysm is a one-use power, Chat Noir is a one-trick pony. He’s still stuck in Season 1 mode while Ladybug has broadened to new powers, new suit, new duties, new partners, and new goals.

Hawk Moth knows the identity of all the heroes but Chat Noir don’t. Chloé knows the identities of all the heroes but Chat Noir don’t. Alya has more privileges and inside knowledge than Chat Noir has, and with Rocketear, Nino is now another confidant privy to more secrets than Chat Noir is.

All Chat Noir is left with, is the comedic side-kick routine he is now entrenched too deeply in to crawl out, the knowledge that his best friend in both his civilian life and superhero life think he’s annoying, and the realisation that Ladybug truly no longer trust him, because the heroes around him, his subordinates in a sense, now ranks higher in prominence.

Did Ladybug mean for this to happen? Absolutely not.

But Chat Blanc is no longer a reason big enough to cover all the discrepancies. And she has grown so used to keeping him in the dark to realise how much the darkness was causing the chasm between them to grow. Chat Noir is now outwardly lying to Ladybug that he’s fine, refusing to tell her that he knows to some extent the secrets she has kept from him. In Season 2, he angrily confronted her about being left behind. In Season 4, now that Ladybug holds all the power, now that he no longer has the authority to demand reasons and explanations, the only thing he could do is keep his mouth shut and hope that the sheer cliff he’s balancing on does not shear away even more.

Because Chat Noir is still fun for him, isn’t it? Being a hero, being himself? Chat Noir isn’t a role for him to act, to fake being happy, to pretend to be something he’s not. Chat Noir is a persona where he can be as expressive, as temperamental, as coquettish, and childish and experimental he wants. An entity where he can safely explore all the emotions children his age usually experiences without consequences. A place where he isn’t held under fear of abandonment or emotional abuse, where he can explore his identity and speak his mind without retaliation or repercussions.  

Isn’t it?

Chat Noir’s presence is still prevalent at every akuma fight because he is a founding member. Ladybug has no reason to tell him to go home, and he’s still useful in the sense that he can provide distractions while Ladybug figures out her plan, and feed information to Rena Furtive who is hiding and watching and waiting. And there is still the Cataclysm, a power that is supposed to rival the Lucky Charm, whose potential is still yet unearthed.

But Chat Noir has no more standing to rely on. He is no longer a principal participant in the encompassing war between Ladybug and Hawk Moth, even if he is a principal target. Each side gathers up their warriors and equipment, and Chat Noir is just another treasured pawn in Ladybug’s army. He is alone in the fact that no one knows his identity. Ladybug has someone, Hawk Moth has someone, and both of them has an arsenal of champions to pick from.

He’s a wild card, he’s an anomaly. He was once Ladybug’s partner, he was a prototype for the modern Miraculous hero, and by himself, he had a visible presence. But he lost the novelty quickly.

Even in Season 1, people preferred Ladybug. She was the one to fix their city, she made the flashy speech at the Eiffel Tower, it was explainable. In Season 2, Hawk Moth began to ignore his Miraculous multiple times in favour of Ladybug’s earrings. Chloé called him Ladybug’s second fiddle. In Season 3, Fu’s obvious favour of Ladybug as future Guardian emphasised Chat Noir’s emerging sidelining. And in Season 4, Ladybug herself begun to omit her partner.

What does this have in store for the future? Rumours and headcanons fly, whispers of an akumatization on par with Chat Blanc looms closer and closer. Personally, I hope that something more substantial is done with Chat Noir’s character. There’s still so much to be expatiated, his family history, his own personality, and his unlocked powers. If the Black Cat Miraculous was truly the harmonizing consort of the Ladybug Miraculous, then logically, Chat Noir should be receiving the multiple new upgrades in the near future.

A climax where an issue that has spanned for four seasons ending within two episodes sounds stereotypically Miraculous and nightmarish. But the show has three more seasons to go, and hopefully this conflict will be used as a starting point for what may be in store for those seasons.

What if Chat Noir decides to deflect? What is he decided to derail, and what if Chat Noir becomes the next villain? ShadowMoth is a recurring joke at this point, and with the development of Season 4, ShadowMoth’s return in Season 5 sounds exhausting and repetitive. Looking at the overarching picture, there is only one person that has enough incentive and power to become Ladybug’s future archnemesis.

Love and hate are the opposite sides of the same coin.

But no matter what is in store for the distant narrative of Miraculous, this essay concludes on the now.

We look at Season 1 Chat Noir, and the Chat Noir of the latest episode. Even if his powers and position hasn’t grown, he has developed into his role emotionally, in an unfortunately negative way.

Chat Noir is no longer Ladybug’s partner, and analytically, no longer as important as he once was.

I really hope the show does something good with this.

[mhevarujta]

Zoya and the Darkling [Rule of Wolves Spoilers]

It’s a pity that fandoms mostly focus on romantic/sexual relationships, because The Darkling and Zoya have one of the most epic dynamics in the Grishaverse. The way they affect each other is so complex.

Zoya did not go to the Little Palace after being tested in the usual manner of Grisha travelling across Ravka to recruit children with powers. She was a young girl, a child really, living with a bitter and broken mother, in a home where her Suli inheritance was not appreciated, in a country that would condemn her both because of the power she let her demonstrated AND because of who she would have been without it. She was basically sold as a child-bride and her mother deluded herself into thinking that her daughter would not be raped by the old man she was marrying so that she’d feel better about herself, not to mention that she poisoned Zoya with her fears and made her afraid of her own heart. At the wedding her power broke loose and her aunt took her to a hard journey to the Little Palace so that Zoya would be tested and have a chance at a better life.

Zoya was taken in and she was separated from her family, but her aunt was ALWAYS in her heart. She started training and she was stronger than most, she was also driven and resilient. She arrived at the Little Palace when she was 8-9. When she was 13, she was the youngest one to be chosen as part of a group that would travel with the Darkling to Tsibeya to find the white tigers of Ilmisk because one of them was supposed to be an amplifier. By that age, Zoya was half in love with him already and she lived for his rare appearances at the school. She was the best, she had fought to be so, and he wanted him to see it. The Grisha were focused on hunting the female tiger, but the amplifier was a male one. He tried to kill the female’s cubs and Zoya gave them the protection of her body, she got scars that she never had tailored and she almost died, and killed the tiger to defend the cubs; not for the sake of power.

It wasn’t HER turn to get the amplifier, but since she killed the tiger only she could claim it. And THIS brilliant scene happens:

Some part of me always feared that he would send me away, banish me forever from the Little Palace. I told him I was sorry.

“But the Darkling saw me clearly even then. ‘Is that really what you wish to say?’ he asked.”

Zoya pushed a dark strand of her hair behind her ear. “So I told him the truth. I put my chin up and said, ‘They can all hang. It was my blood in the snow.’”

Nikolai stifled a laugh and a smile played over Zoya’s lips. It dwindled almost instantly, replaced by a troubled frown. “That pleased him. He told me it was a job well done. And then he said … ‘Beware of power, Zoya. There is no amount of it that can make them love you.’”

The weight of the words settled over Nikolai. Is that what we’re all searching for? Was that what he’d hunted in all those library books? In his restless travels? In his endless pursuit to seize and then keep the throne? “Was it love you wanted, Zoya?”

She shook her head slowly. “I don’t think so. I wanted … strength. Safety. I never wanted to feel helpless again.”

  “Like calls to like” fits the Darkling and Alina, but it also fits Zoya and the Darkling… in fact it fits Zoya and Aleksander even more so. Both were powerful and KNEW it. Both eventually learned to be unapologetic about it and saw it as their safety net. Both were taught that power would give them safety, survival, fulfillment in some ways, but not love. And yet, as much as they denied it and hid their hearts they DID want to be loved more than anything.

Zoya only rises thereafter. She gets her rank, she is one of the most valued Grisha in the Little Palace, she is admired for her strength and beauty, she armors herself with arrogance, and ruthlessness. But she has not friends. Both her and the Darkling are surrounded by people, they are admired, but they don’t have people close to their heart. The Darkling always cared about Baghra as much as he could still manage and Zoya cared only bout Liliyana and Lada (an orphan girl that her aunt had taken in).

The Darkling SAW her. He saw how she tried like no other, he saw her pain, her anger and he considered these to be things that he could use to control her and to push her towards the direction he desired. And despite not being appreciative of her devotion when he had it, he missed it when it was gone.

When Alina got in the picture everything changed for Zoya. Yes, Zoya had feelings for the Darkling and I DO believe that her feelings and vanity would have been hurt to some extent by the intimacy in the way he approached Alina, but the primary problem was Zoya’s sense of injustice. Zoya had tried for YEARS, had trained hard, had sacrificed to be where she is. Alina never asked for any of it, but from Zoya’s perspective Alina would have been an untrained Grisha who got all the status, power and recognition that SHE had fought for without even trying. Until then, Zoya had been praised for wanting power, but when her anger is not convenient anymore, the Darkling punishes her for it and does not have a second thought about her.

And yet she remained loyal as always.

Even more so than rank, the Darkling and Liliyana were Zoya’s safety-net. And in ONE MOMENT, by genociding Novokribirsk, Zoya’s own mentor, the one who gave her safety and who was meant to create a haven for the Grisha, a person who KNEW her and who KNEW that she had family there, showed that he had no care for her, not care for human life and she wiped out the last people that Zoya loved.

He left her broken inside. In Siege and Storm, Zoya was at her lowest. She has to plead to Alina to have a position in the second army and she has to reveal a part of her heart; not just her loss of Liliyana. Her voice BREAKS when she says that the Darkling could have warned her of his plan; her pain at the idea that he did not give a crap about taking EVERYTHING from her is raw and cutting.

But she is not a quitter. She adjusts, she pulls her pieces together fast, she is a warrior and she stays on the right side without a question.

Then the Darkling attacked the very Grisha he was supposedly fighting for and killed half the people that Zoya had EVER KNOWN. And she still keeps fighting.

 Enter Rule of Wolves. There is SUCH DEEP IRONY in this book and the way Zoya and the Darkling’s arcs interconnect is a prime example of Leigh’s amazing writing.

The Darkling had told Zoya that they would change the world and he completely stopped paying attention to her the moment the potential of Alina’s power blinded him to anything else. And yet, when he returns Zoya has gained the kind of power that could eventually rival his own. But he STILL thinks that he should be the one to rule Ravka. He still thinks that he is the best option for the country. And once more, he criminally underestimates Zoya and overestimates himself.

Who else is vengeful and afraid of his own heart, I wonder…

Aleksander considered Zoya weak for the very same things that were his own fatal flaws.

But unlike him, Zoya SAW her flaws. The Darkling shut himself off more and more in order to save himself from pain. Zoya eventually opened up her heart to grief and pain to become the person her country needed and to embrace her power. She opened the door, when the Darkling did not manage to do so. She showed more courage than he did… and he SAW it.

Aleksander hoped to become the savior during the battle, he wished to demonstrate how only HE could save Ravka. But seeing Nikolai and Zoya defending the country is the first time it registers that there are others who are up to the task and who may be better suited than he is.

And he becomes essential in Zoya being accepted as a saint and in her rise to power partly because he wants to gain her favor but also because he finally sees all her potential, all she can achieve, how a Grisha queen of such power might give the Grisha the haven they need, when he clearly can’t.

And what is left for him to do? What does he want? He wants to serve the country he loves in a way that will affirm his sense of self-importance (he wants to offer something that no one else can) and he wants to be loved. So his new objective is to stop the blight.

The blight was created because of his own power. This man who hunted down and ruined the life of a young girl (Alina) in order to force her to be his balance, so that he could freely use his power in a very imbalanced way, finally realizes that HE is responsible for his power and that HE can be the only one to balance it and himself. So there is a new path he sees ahead of him: he can sacrifice himself to stop the blight and in the process Ravka might finally see that he always wanted to protect the country… and it might love him back. He KNOWS that he has committed crimes, he does not seek redemption, but he desired for all he has done to matter. And it can’t matter if he is not at all responsible for its country’s well-being and if everyone hates him. He has lived so many lifetimes without happiness or fulfillment and they would all have been wasted.

But he can’t achieve this by himself. This man who always thought that he could do things alone, and who took away everything Zoya had fought for, NEEDS her allowance for his centuries-long life to gain a scrap of meaning. He needs her allowance to be appreciated and loved.

I can’t be the only one who sees what a beautiful twist of fate this is.

At the same time Zoya herself understands the Darkling. She understands how anger and using power as a coping mechanism can corrupt. Knowing herself and seeing how he turned out are essential in her becoming a good ruler. He is the cautionary tale of what she could but will never allow herself to become.

When he explains his plan, she KNOWS that he’ll be in eternal pain and she has does not mind that his will be his fate. But when she sees the aftermath of his sacrifice and when she feels the kind of pain he’ll be experiencing for eternity, it leaves her shaken. She feels that pain in her own heart and this is not a fate that she wishes even on him. Genya and Alina are very much willing to let him rot but Zoya, who also believed that she could forgive him, feels that she has to.The Darkling has not redeem himself. He is doing penance. But as Genya mentions, there’s a fine line when one has to do the math of how much a person has to pay and of how much pain they have to feel before their punishment stops being just and they become victims instead. Zoya, being afraid of becoming him, knows that learning to show forgiveness is the only way forward, it’s the way for her to keep her heart open and not become the avalanche.

Zoya Nazyalensky has become everything that Aleksander Morozova, the lost boy, wished to be. Poweful, eternal, with friends, with a true partner, holding the best position a Grisha could imagine without forcing her rule and finally giving their people a true chance without comprominsing them. 

The Darkling was hoping that Alina would have been his balance. We are told how she might make him a better man and she might make him a monster.

But at the end of the day it’s Zoya who allows the Darkling to become the closest thing to decent that he can be at this point.

It’s the Darkling’s life that allows Zoya to see the lines that she will not cross and how to not become a monster.

And it’s Zoya’s ability to forgive him and her willingness to save him that becomes the backbone for the next phase of the Grishaverse, whenever Leigh decides to write it.

The way their paths entangle will always be at the core of the story.

_______________________

@myfriendscallmeraba​ I’m tagging you because you asked for it. It’s very encouraging to have someone interested in my ramblings.

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x3 thoughts

Brendan Hunt confirmed on Twitter that the writers wrote the first three episodes of the season with the intention of releasing them on the same day, just as they dropped the first three episodes of season one on the same day. Having finally watched the first three over three different weeks, I really wish they’d been able to launch all three on the same day. I really liked the first two episodes of the season, but the third episode really puts a lot of things into context. Between the political storyline, the return of Sassy (and a bit of a level-setting conversation between Sassy, Rebecca, and Ted) and Rebecca’s navigation of her professional life as an all-in club owner and her experience reconnecting to Nora...all of that feels like we’re done setting up the season now. Exposition complete—and to the writers’ credit, all three of these episodes are far more than exposition. A lot of story has happened.

So much so that this week’s installment has categories.

Sassy and Ted and Rebecca

Hahahahahahahahahaha

No, seriously though, I love that they are mature adults about this and I also love that Ted is Uncomfortable and, to be perfectly honest, I like that Sassy’s aggressive unfilteredness becomes an opportunity for the show to venture into more sexual references and humor about characters other than Keeley and Roy. It was a lot of information!

I’ve seen a couple of people express disappointment that Ted seems weirded out by Sassy discussing Nora’s impending first period, but I didn’t get the impression that he was grossed out by periods. There is a lot going on! Nora is right outside the room with the door open and Sassy has run through a lot of very personal topics! I felt like his reaction was more about the proximity issue in specific and the personal nature of the conversation in general more than anything else.

So many thoughts about the intersection between the biscuits and this conversation that it had to go in its own post.

Nora!

I LOVE Nora. I want every episode of this show to be about her. I want this sitcom to be called Nora Collins.

I love that Nora’s a little bit sassy (pun on her mother’s nickname only lazily intended) in the way a thirteen-year-old can be, but also enthusiastic about spending time with Rebecca and genuinely interested in meeting everyone her godmother knows. Rebecca genuinely hurt Nora, but Nora can clearly see that Rebecca is all-in on their mended relationship, and that gives her the space to be a bit teasing. She knows Rebecca’s weaknesses and has a little fun (the cooking joke when Rebecca offers to make popcorn?!) but also isn’t going to manipulate her or take advantage.

The British doll company and all the riffs on American Girl dolls, OMG. So good.

Like literally everyone, I am extremely into Rebecca and Roy actually being friends and exchanging words with each other this season. Now everyone in the group of four mains have had some great conversational moments with each other this season (I count Ted and Keeley being into Sharon’s bike as a great conversational moment, OK?!), with the exception of Roy and Ted. Cannot wait for that.

During the photo op with the team, Sassy and Rebecca remark on how Nora is loving and hating having her picture taken with Sam and the rest of the players, and that is THE experience of being thirteen years old, and Kiki May does an incredible job infusing all of Nora’s moments with the right proportions of enthusiasm to cringe. Thirteen years olds are constantly cringing but still full of spirit and life, and at constantly changing ratios, and Nora is the perfect embodiment of that.

My heart melted during the email-writing scene. Rebecca’s writing the email on Nora’s computer! In the guest room where her goddaughter is staying! They’re wearing pajamas! And Rebecca’s smile is so genuinely huge and delighted when she signs it “boss ass bitch.”

Led Tasso and Jamie’s Redemption

This was so stupid and I loved it so much. I love that Ted’s angry alter ego is absurd rather than scary, kind of like a parody of how worked up some men get over sports. I wonder if Led Tasso’s appearance in some way foreshadows a more uncontrolled, genuine anger from Ted in a later episode, because this Led Tasso dude is ridiculous.

Tentative kudos to Led Tasso for being able to point out the, ahem, clit of the soccer ball even from within a fugue state.

The entire Chuck E. Cheese exchange with Sharon was so hilarious and wonderful.

When Ted has the idea to bring out Led Tasso, Nate assumes he’s going to suggest that Jamie talk to Sharon. I absolutely adore the implication that Jamie’s growth over this episode is attributable to both Led Tasso and Sharon Fieldstone. Because while some players are still unmoved by Jamie’s willingness to stand up to Led, it didn’t go unnoticed! And then I was so proud of Keeley for refusing to take on the emotional labor of listening to Jamie when she was too busy with her actual job, and I felt that Jamie’s pretty immediate willingness to see what the therapy thing was all about was extremely in line with his character. He’s always seeking out Keeley to talk, and sometimes he actually means “talking” when he asks to talk with her! Jamie feels like someone who’s standing at a wall of doors, knocking on each one, trying to see what sticks. He really lacks foundation. I’m curious to know what he and Sharon spoke about in their session, but I like that the writers left the session private. The knowledge that he’s started seeing a psychologist is valuable information in and of itself, and Jamie’s decision to act in solidarity with Sam and the other Nigerian players is the perfect evidence that he’s thinking in new ways.

Sam and Dubai Air

Toheeb Jimoh is always great, but he’s so great in this episode. It’s cool to see his demeanor, pacing, and confidence shift as he becomes more at home with the team—and it’s also lovely to see that he, unlike Jamie, very much has a strong foundation in his home country, his supportive parents, his own moral center.

I like that Sam didn’t spend a bunch of time and emotional labor on teaching Jamie why caring about other people (and the environment!) matters, because that would’ve undercut the other political messages in this episode. Sam’s leading by example and everyone can either catch up or stay out, and it’s really great.

I really like the way they handled the press conference with Ted and Sam. I like that Ted gave the floor to Sam but prefaced that with very brief (for once!) remarks of his own. And I appreciated that Ted acknowledged his position of privilege, and that the angle isn’t that bad things never happen to white dudes but rather that when bad things do happen to people like Ted, it gets attention with so much less effort than when bad things happen to people who aren’t white men. Because that’s how privilege works—it’s not a shield that prevents bad things from happening to you, but it’s a safety net that ensures people will notice and address and even pitch in to take care of your bad things, often at the expense of the people who lack that privilege.

There’s probably lots of other stuff I could talk about, like the hilariously and realistically bad usernames on Bantr and Keeley brushing her snacks off the desk and into her purse and how things between Beard and Jane are clearly very, very bad and I’m worried about Beard and how it was soooo fun and lovely to see Shannon teasing Ted again (little coffee and football rituals before work are the kinds of details I absolutely live for) and HIGGINS PRETENDING REBECCA SENT HIM A BRILLIANT AND HEROIC EMAIL (which she does for real with Nora’s help just a couple scenes later!) and how delighted I was to feel that by this episode this season has really hit its stride and feels like a fully lived-in portrayal of the energized, loving, imperfect, busy, full place that is the whole AFC Richmond community. Honestly, Higgins pretending Rebecca sent that email because he wants to make her look good in front of her granddaughter is kind of the perfect encapsulation of what this episode felt like. This is a show about a bunch of imperfect people who want each other to succeed.

Edited to add: I was delighted to find out Ashley Nicole Black was writing for the show and the writing here did the opposite of disappoint! ❤️