#shawn looks like the sun is blinding him

[mwah-so-kissed]

found (i think) rares :DD

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Seeing all these asks about Geneyen giving bitches backshots/breaking backs then taking off with panties and debit/credit cards makes me want a fic about Geneyen giving backshots taking panties and stealing debit/credit cards lol

Ask and you shall receive.

Fool Me Once - Chapter One

Warnings: Theft, smut. Word count: ~1200

Genyen awakens, sticky with sweat, an acrid taste in his mouth and a hangover lingering behind his eyes. He silently curses himself for not splurging the extra cash for a place with air conditioning, not that’d be sticking around long enough to appreciate it, but the humidity here is unbearable.

He fled to Thailand after clearing out the donations from the Buddhist centre, along with Jinba’s bank account. He has kept moving since arriving, never staying in one place for more than a week, it’s too risky to settle anywhere when he makes a living from robbing pretty, gullible tourists.

His grifting has taken him to Krabi, Pattaya City and Ko Pha Ngan. This week he finds himself in Pa Tong. No matter the city or district, the situation always plays out the same way; he dons his Buddhist monk robes, heads to the nearest beach and spins a pretty girl a line about how he’s left the monastery because he wants to experience a day in the life of a tourist. By nightfall he’s spilling himself into a condom inside of her, then rifling through her purse once she’s asleep.

He has no idea what possessed him to start tearing the ID pages from their passports. The first time it happened he’d found it as he’d rummaged through her handbag. He’d flipped to the back, curiosity leading him to want to look at her photo. Before he had time to think fully about what he was doing, he’d ripped it out, pocketing it along with her knickers and all the cash she had.

He has quite the collection now. He rolls over in the bed, draping a long, lean arm down the side to rifle through his duffel bag. Underwear of all colours, cuts and sizes is stuffed inside. He thumbs through the stack of ID pages; Sweden, Australia, South Africa, Canada.

Would be cool to have one for every country, he thinks to himself.

He pushes the passport pages and panties to the side, plucking out the wad of banknotes rolled up beside them and counts through it. Shit. Less than two thousand baht left. He’s only been in Pa Tong a few days, but partying all night, every night burns through money fast. He’s going to need to find another target today, or he’ll run out of cash.

After dragging himself out of bed, chasing painkillers with the dregs of the previous evening’s final beer, and showering, Genyen finds himself strolling the perimeter of Pa Tong beach. He is glad that his robes are relatively lightweight, the heat of the sun feels oppressive. He shields his eyes from the blinding rays, surveying the hordes of people soaking up the Thai heat.

That’s when he spots her. His eyes are immediately drawn to the curve of her arse, peeking out from a tiny pair of bikini bottoms as she lays face down. She’s immersed in a copy of The Secret. Oh, this is fucking perfect. 

He saunters over to her and she immediately looks up as his shadow is cast over her. He smiles as her eyes widen in surprise.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash on me if you’re looking for donations.” She smiles sweetly at him.

“Oh, I’m not here on behalf of Wat Suwan Khiri Wong. I’m actually trying to get away from that.”

“Really? And why is that?” She asks curiously, closing her book.

He settles cross legged on the sand in front of her. “I’ve dedicated my whole life to the monastery and practicing the teachings of Buddha. I’d like to know what life has to offer outside of that. I’m Genyen, by the way.”

“Genyen.” She repeats, eyeing him curiously. “Makes you sound important.”

He laughs softly. “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice. You can call me Shawn, if you’d prefer.”

He spins her his entire lie and she falls for it. He tells her his mum passed away when he was ten, that his dad married a woman called Mary and when his dad then passed away just before Shawn was due to go to university, Mary had contested the will. She’d gotten everything, the house included. He went away to university, but had nowhere to go once he graduated, so he went travelling and ended up here, in Thailand. He was taken in by the Buddhist monks and renamed Genyen, which means ‘approaching virtue’.

She pays rapt attention, her face softening in sympathy for him, and by the evening they sit in a beach bar together, their knees brushing as she sips a strawberry daiquiri.

“So if you want to experience life outside of the monastery, why aren’t you drinking?” She says, playing with her staw.

“Better to take these things slowly, just talking to you today was a big enough step.” He lies. He knows better than to get buzzed. Drunkenness leads to sloppy mistakes.

He barely has to make an effort. Two more cocktails and her eyes are glazed as she leans in to kiss him. Her lips taste like rum and he kisses her back hungrily.

He follows eagerly when she leads him back to her hotel room. They make quick work of undressing each other. His eyes dart around the room, making a note of where she discards her bag.

It’s not long before she’s on all fours, his hands kneading the fleshy globes of her backside that he’d spent most of the afternoon admiring, as he snaps his hips against her. She clenches around him, warm and oh so tight. He can feel how soaked she is even while wearing a johnny and the sensation causes him to groan as he speeds up his movements.

She moans, arching her back, pushing against him and he slides a hand up the smooth skin of her back, grabbing a fistful of her hair, biting his lip at how this makes her squeeze him harder. She may be a dupable airhead who stupidly believes in the power of manifestation, but she is undoubtedly one of the best lays he’s ever had.

He isn’t sure if she comes, he doesn’t care. His grip on her hips is vicelike as gives one final thrust, shuddering as he pulsates and spends himself into the latex.

It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep. He lays there, waiting for the sound of her breathing to deepen and even out. Once she starts to snore softly, he creeps out of the bed. He dresses before looking through the handbag he’d seen her drop to the floor earlier. He pulls all of the banknotes from her purse, pocketing them. No cash on you? Bloody liar.

Her passport sits on the vanity table and he grabs it, flipping to the back page. He smiles as he looks at her photo, illuminated by the moonlight that streams through the window. She looks so dorky, it’s actually kind of cute. He almost feels bad for robbing her.

He tears the page out, wrapping it in her discarding bikini bottoms, then pockets those as well.

Slipping out of her room, he lets the door click softly closed behind him, walking out into the balmy night air of Pa Tong. He was going to miss her. Well, he’d miss her air conditioning, that’s for sure.

Chapter two || Series masterlist

[dilanmoodboards]

Chapter 2: Mark of the Beast

Paring: Shawn Michaels/The Undertaker; Triple H/Chyna; Billy Gunn/"The Road Dogg" Jesse James; X-pac/Kane; past Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels; past Shawn Michaels/Kevin Nash; Scott Hall/Kevin Nash

Summary: Shawn deals with the aftermath of Undertaker's visit.

Tags: Dark Magic; Supernatural Elements; Kayfabe Compliant; Nightmares

Notes: English is not my first language and I'm dyslexic af, so feel free to correct anything. Comments are always welcome.

Word Count: 2.469

Chapter Masterlist

Shawn woke up with the sun shining on his face, he had apparently forgotten to close the blinds last night. Not that it was surprising, last night had been quite eventful, especially compared to all his other nights after he retired. He slowly stretched himself, careful to not hurt his back and reached for the glass of water on his bedside table. His throat was strangely sore, as if he had taken a particularly brutal chokeslam. He downed the glass of water, his shaky hand making a little of it spill on his chest.

Once he placed the glass back on the table, he got up very slowly. It hadn’t been a month since his surgery, meaning every movement he made had to be carefully thought out. At least he no longer needed crutches to move around his house. He checked his guest bedroom to see if Undertaker was still there, but the deadman had left, the only trace of him ever being in the room were the neatly folded clothes carefully placed on the bedding. 

Shawn continued his slow walk downstairs, careful not to slip on any of the steps. Once he reached the floor he could see a piece of paper on his dining table, he made his way to the note.

Dear Shawn,

I’m sorry to leave without giving you my proper goodbyes, but I really need to go back home and reach the bottom of whatever problem I got myself into. You were right I needed a friend, thanks to you my energies are restored. No need to worry your pretty head about me, I’ll be alright.

Love, The Undertaker

Shawn stared at the note as if looking at it harder would make it make sense. It’s not that he expected Undertaker to stay in his house, he honestly didn’t think Taker would even be there in the morning, but he thought the deadman would have left without a word or at least a very impersonal note. 

This was not impersonal. Love . Shawn couldn’t stop staring at that particular word, a warm feeling flooding his chest every time he saw it. To be fair a part of him was almost giggling like a schoolgirl, but he was managing to keep it in check. 

But there was also something bothering him about the note. Undertaker had always been very careful with his words, it was impossible to have any sort of small talk with the man. Not only that, but Taker had always kept things very close to his chest, meaning that he wrote the note in a hurry. 

That wasn’t the only thing bothering Shawn, he had been too tired to think about it last night, but the Undertaker had looked genuinely scared. It probably wouldn’t have looked obvious to anyone else, but Shawn was really good at reading people, it was what made him such a great wrestler. And although Undertaker was a tough nut to crack, he had been working with the deadman for so long he had learned how to read even the slightest change in the Phenom’s eyes.

Shawn was a little worried, what could possibly scare the Undertaker so much that he would allow his emotions to come out? And what was powerful enough to drain the deadman of his powers? Shawn never understood any of this spooky stuff that the Undertaker had going on, but he knew one thing. The Undertaker was powerful, just by being in his presence you could feel it. Whatever problem the deadman was in must be pretty bad. 

The last two weeks had been hard for Shawn. Ever since the Undertaker had visited him he couldn’t get the deadman out of his head. It also didn’t help that when he watched the man on TV he could sense there was something clearly wrong with him. His eyes carried a darkness that was hard to describe. And then there was the way he was acting around the rest of the roster, he knew when they were acting and something about the way the other wrestlers were reacting seemed like they were genuinely scared.

Shawn always had a talent for reading people, he could tell a lot about someone just by their eyes. You know how they say ‘the eyes are the window for the soul’, Shawn had always understood that saying. It was Bret’s eyes that made Shawn fall in love with the man, and it was also the way those eyes changed that made Shawn realise their relationship was over.

The Undertaker’s eyes always intrigued Shawn. When the deadman first got into the WWF, his eyes were completely blank and devoid of emotion, he was more like Paul Bearer’s puppet than a real person. But then the betrayal happened and Undertaker’s eyes started to slowly show more emotion. 

Shawn had been fascinated by the Phenom's eyes during their Hell in a Cell match, they were overflowing with emotion and when Kane showed up Shawn finally managed to put every little piece of the puzzle that was the Undertaker into place. After that match he felt like he knew the Undertaker just as deeply as he knew any of the Kliq. The Phenom was no longer a mystery, he was rather an open book.

It wasn’t only in his waking thoughts that the deadman appeared. Ever since his unexpected visit the Undertaker seemed to plague every single one of Shawn's dreams. For the past two weeks, everytime Shawn would fall asleep, the Phenom was there. Some of the dreams were pleasant, dreams where the two of them would be together doing domestic things, cooking together, cuddling while watching TV and even working around Shawn’s ranch. There were also wet dreams that Shawn was a little ashamed of. But none of the good ever seemed to stick for long.

Pleasant dreams turned to nightmares in seconds. Scenes of morgues and cemeteries, flaming labyrinths, an old house on fire and the casket that had broken Shawn’s back. And the Undertaker was always there, but it wasn’t the Undertaker Shawn knew, but rather this new version of the deadman he saw on TV. Shawn was unable to escape these nightmares.

And he had tried. All the progress he had done with his addiction was thrown out the window as he attempted to find a way of drowning those dreams. From somas, to pain pills, to sleeping pills and alcohol, he tried everything that he often used to drown his own thoughts, but everytime sleep found him, so would the nightmares.

Shawn felt uneasy, he couldn’t relax, and sleep was no longer restful. His back was honestly suffering because of that. He was exhausted and in pain. When he realised the drugs wouldn’t help he once again stopped them, at least the withdrawals would sometimes give him insomnia, allowing him a respite from the nightmares.

Tonight was not one of those lucky nights. Shawn found himself in a now familiar scene, a flaming labyrinth. As always something compelled him to move through it, he knew there was something important at the end of this place, but he was never able to reach it. There was also the fact that he was always being followed, a shadow seemed to never be more than a couple steps behind him, and his instincts told him that he couldn’t let that thing get close, couldn’t let it touch him.

So Shawn walked, as he had done many nights before, his pace steady, but fast, as if it was of utmost importance he reached the end of the maze as soon as possible. But he was also careful, the flames beside him a constant threat, and although the main concern for him was the shadow behind him, he also wasn’t so sure whatever would greet him at the end would be safe either.

Shawn was starting to find it strange how long it was taking for anything to change in the dream. He often didn’t make it this far in the labyrinth before something switched and he was thrust into another dream, but today that wasn’t happening. It felt like he had been walking for hours, his heart rate was extremely fast due to how anxious he felt. He would probably wake up without being able to breathe properly, it was quite common for this to happen these last few days.

After what felt like hours he finally exited the maze for the first time in two weeks. Shawn was standing at some sort of clearing, he could see fire surrounding him, it was the only source of light in this place. There were multiple graves all around the clearing, but right in the middle stood a casket. Shawn recognized it instantly. It wasn’t a normal casket, but the modified ones used for casket matches. It was the one that broke Shawn’s back. And it was burning.

Normally Shawn would feel good seeing the thing responsible for one of the worst moments of his life being destroyed, but he had the feeling that there was someone inside it. Without thinking twice he ran to the flaming object, once he reached the casket he went to open it, without caring if he would get burned. The fire seemed to make way for him, allowing him to open the thing without risk of getting hurt.

Inside the casket was a sleeping Undertaker, not the new and strange Undertaker that was appearing on TV and his dreams, but the old Taker. Shawn went to touch him to see if he would wake up, but jumped back when Taker sat up, much like he often did in the ring. He looked confused, looking from side to side as if he had no idea how he got there. And then he saw Shawn and his eyes softened, but soon enough confusion came back to his face. “What are you doing here?” Taker asked, his voice rough with disuse.

“I should be the one asking you that. You’re the one who’s invading my dream.” Shawn answered. Once again the Undertaker looked confused, he started to stand up and Shawn helped him get out of the casket. “Do you usually know when you’re dreaming?” Shawn looked up at Taker, and then answered. “Not usually, but I’ve been able to tell the difference for the last two weeks. Why?”

The Undertaker’s attention seemed to have been somewhere else, he was looking at the opening of the maze. Shawn followed the deadman’s gaze and saw the shadow that often seemed to follow him during his nightmares. “Get behind me Shawn.” Taker sounded scared and Shawn wasn’t about to ignore that, so he made his way behind the big man. 

The shadow thing was moving closer and the closer it got the more it seemed to look like a man, until finally it completely morphed into the Undertaker, the evil version Shawn had been seeing this last two weeks, with the dark eyes and sinister smile. “You said you would leave him alone.” The thing laughed, he definitely did not sound like Taker. Well I was going to, but I just couldn’t help myself. The voice was guttural and low, it sounded wrong and Shawn felt the strange urge to pray. “Taker what’s happening? What’s that thing?”

Ouch, you would have hurt me if I had feelings. I do have a name you know. The thing was now looking straight at him, and Shawn felt it could see his soul. He felt the urge to hide behind the Undertaker, but stood his ground, he wasn’t about to give the thing the satisfaction of seeing him scared. “Well too bad asshole.” Shawn had a smart mouth that often got him in trouble and he had never truly learned to keep it shut. Maybe antagonizing a strange spooky being wasn’t his smartest choice, but there was just something about that thing that got him angry.

Once again the thing laughed and Taker put himself right in front of Shawn. You’re feisty. I like that. You have way more spine than your friend over there. The thing pointed to the Undertaker as he said it. Then suddenly he was right in front of them, Taker didn’t have the time to react before being shoved out of the way without even being touched by the thing. He was now on the floor a couple of feet away and was being held by what Shawn could only describe as tendrils of shadow. 

Shawn tried to take a step back, but soon found out he couldn’t move. The Lord of Darkness at your service . The thing gave an exaggerated bow and then extended his hand as if he wanted to shake hands. Shawn was still paralyzed in place, only able to move his eye. “Get away from him!” Taker was thrashing like a wild animal, but he couldn’t seem to get free. “You said you wouldn’t touch him! You promised!” The thing was now looking at the Undertaker with a sinister smile. I’m a demon! I lied.

Before Shawn could react the demon touched his chest and a searing pain coursed through his body. Shawn thought that the worst pain he would ever feel was what he felt the morning he woke up without being able to feel his legs. But this was worse. It felt like he was burning from the inside out, like his flesh was peeling off his body, like he was going to die. He couldn’t even see.

It took some time for the pain to subside enough to the point where he could process what was happening. He was back in his room, laying on his bed. But something told him that what happened hadn’t been just a dream. His body was still burning and he still felt a sharp pain on his chest, when he looked down at his torso he could see an angry red mark right on the spot where the thing had touched him.

Shawn made his way to the bathroom as fast as possible, his legs were wobbly due to the pain and he fell to the floor twice before making it to the mirror by his sink. He was sweating bullets and looked pale, as if he had just seen a ghost. And right on his left chest was something that looked like a mixture between a burn and a carved scar, still fresh, there was also a very faint purple glow that was slowly going away. 

As Shawn leaned closer to the mirror he was finally able to make out what the mark was: It was some sort of T with an X and then it dawned on him, it was Takers symbol .

“Fuck.” Was all Shawn could say at that moment. 

[aba-daba-dooo]

Guess who's in a new fandom and has written about 70 pages of fic in a week? I fell deep into the Psych rabbit hole about a decade too late and now it's too late for me. Please enjoy a sample of the first chapter below.

Impressively (Alter) Average AO3

Shawn lied. He knows he should have come clean to Juliet years ago about not actually being a psychic, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Telling the truth has begun to feel a lot more like lying. Gus, however, has a theory. What if Shawn has been a psychic all along and just didn't know it?

“Juliet.” 

The midday sun streaks through the blinds of the SBPD. It is unusually warm for Santa Barbara this time of year, and it’s always warm in Santa Barbara. Gus fidgets with the top button of his shirt, trying to let a fresh gust of air blow through his clothes. 

“Look, Gus.” Juliet turns around in her chair to face him. Her blonde hair hangs in thin threads around her face and dark circles drip from her eyes. Her bottom lip puckers with anxiety before she speaks to him. “If you’re here to talk to me about Shawn. I’m not in the mood, okay?” 

Shawn told him everything. 

It was a very rare moment that Shawn Spencer was open. And once it happened, it was like a waterfall. Shawn told him everything about the jacket, the ticket, Juliet, and then finding some strange girl covered in blood while taking the taxi home. They spoke in the hallways of the hospital where Shawn had taken her, his voice teetering between smooth and a wavering panic. 

Gus really wanted to say “I told you so”-- because he did. He told Shawn in the very beginning that lying about being a psychic was a bad idea and that he had to at least, tell Juliet the truth. But he couldn’t do that. Shawn was shaken in a way that didn’t seem possible, as much as he tried to hide it. 

Gus moves around her desk and stands at her side, finding more courage and spark in his step. “I just need you to hear me out.” 

“Hear you out?” With the words, her breath escapes all at once in a heave of thoughts and emotions she has clearly been trying to hold in. “He lied to me, Gus. He knows how I feel about liars and he went ahead and kept lying to me and everyone else.” 

“And you have every right to be upset but–” 

“And you knew too. The whole time! Which makes me angry at you too! You’re defending a liar!” 

“First of all, Shawn is my best friend and I will always look out for him. Second, he has been a shell of himself since you broke up with him. He’s been sleeping in the Psych office for days. He didn’t even want to eat the jerk chicken I brought him. He’s messed up.” Gus leaves out the part where he ate Shawn’s rejected chicken. What can he say? He’s weak for jerk chicken.  

“You know, I really don’t care.” Juliet rotates her chair back into the forward position, the clack of her high heels moving across the floor, and stares back into the computer screen in front of her. Converaation shut and closed. But Gus refuses to drop this. Not this time. 

He leans over the screen of her computer “But I’m not entirely convinced he was lying to you. Or at least, Shawn only thinks he’s been lying.” (see AO3 for the rest)

[take-taker-taken]

Undertaker/Shawn

Fluff please.

Ask and you shall receive… (sorry it’s short!)

Easy Like Sunday Morning

Shawn awakens slowly, the chink of sunlight at the edge of the blind creeping across the pillow and making him wince. Unwilling to fully give up his slumber, he rolls over and stretches an arm out to find - nothing. Oh. The unexpected absence of a body next to him causes his eyes to open and he blinks in the darkened room and confirms that he is indeed alone. A glance at the clock shows that it’s 6.34am.

The patch next to him is no longer warm, though the pillow still bears evidence of the missing person and just seeing the indent makes him smile. He stretches carefully and sits up, suddenly aware of the smell of coffee from downstairs. Taker doesn’t always sleep well and many’s the night that Shawn has had to gently coax him from a nightmare; speaking to him in soft tones to ease the big man out of it - the most effective method seems to be cuddling close and tucking his head next to Taker’s neck. The first few times Taker had been embarrassed about it in the morning, but these days he settles down much faster and if he remembers the incident the following day the first thing he does upon waking is to say thank you - just one little sign of how far their relationship has come.

Shawn steps into some sweatpants and sliders, pulls a tank top over his head and then makes his way down to the kitchen which is also empty but the door is open on to the veranda and another beautiful, sunny Texas morning. The blonde serves himself some coffee and then steps outside - the temperature at this time of day is just right.

“Mornin’” Taker’s voice rumbles, extra deep from lack of use so far today. “I didn’t wake you when I got up, did I?”

“Nope,” Shawn replies and moves over to take a seat next to him on the bench. “Did you have a bad night?”

“Not really - think it’s just the daylight savings thing. Did you sleep OK?” Taker is referring to the pain that Shawn finds himself in if he’s not careful.

“Like a baby.” Shawn leans across and kisses Taker on the cheek softly. “Good morning, by the way.”

Taker turn his head before Shawn can pull back and gives him a peck to the lips. “You look cute when you’re still all sleepy, y’know.”

“And you look incredibly handsome when the sun hits the side of your face like that.” Shawn grins, stealing a kiss of his own and then taking a mouthful of coffee.

They sit in comfortable silence, just enjoying each other’s presence and the early morning sound of birdsong. Taker’s free hand envelopes Shawn’s and he lifts it for another kiss before turning his attention back to his mug.

“What do you want to do today?” Shawn asks between sips and then when no answer is immediately forthcoming he says, “We could have a lazy day - just hang around the pool?”

“You wont be bored?” Taker knows that Shawn sometimes finds it difficult to have too much time on his hands and he doesn’t want him to end up struggling because he wouldn’t say anything for fear of spoiling anyone else’s fun. Shawn gives so much - such a big heart - but getting him to learn to take care of himself is a work in progress.

“Not if you’re there,” The blonde replies and then gives him a cheeky wink. “Hey, if we think it’s getting dull I bet we can find something to spice it up…”

Taker shakes his head, but he’s smiling. “You’re incorrigible, you know that?”

“What happened to me being cute when I’m still sleepy?”

Taker shrugs. “You’ve had a mug of coffee - you’re all awake now.” Shawn pouts and Taker reaches over and strokes a hand through the blonde bed hair. “You’re always cute, babe.”

Shawn leans against him and then a tattooed arm pulls him closer and he lets out a happy sigh - everything is so wonderfully easy with Taker. He doesn’t know why the stars aligned to put the two of them together but he thanks them every single night that they did.

TTT

[rakurairagnarok]

Smoking Hot

This story is my first ever commission for @countrylover198833. Please enjoy the story buddy!! Everyone else also please enjoy this one! Its a bit longer than my usual ones. 

“Well that’s just amazing!!” 

Derrick slammed his car door shut. He’d been on his way to a conference about the aerodynamics of spacecrafts in Dallas. He had been driving all the way from New Orleans, since it was much cheaper than flying. Unfortunately for him however, somewhere in between Shreveport and Dallas, his car broke down. Derrick groaned and looked at his phone. No signal. Shit… he had to walk. The previous town was miles behind him. He wiped his forehead. The beaming Texan sun was relentlessly shining down on him. He could either wait on the side of the road, hoping for someone to come by, or walk to the nearest gas-station, which could be god knows how far ahead. Derrick sighed and went to grab his bag from the trunk. As he opened up he heard a noise from down the road. He looked up and saw a tow truck slowly making its way towards him. 

Derrick slowly walked towards the road. The truck was definitely getting closer. Derrick started to frantically wave his arms. “Please don’t miss me… Please just… see me!” He yelled and shouted, doing anything to get the drivers attention, but it drove past. “FUCK!!” Derrick slammed his trunk shut and sank to the ground. With his head between his hands he didn't hear the car stop a few meters along the road. 

“What's a lil pup like yer self doin here in these parts?” A deep and southern voice asked. 

Derrick looked up and saw a figure approaching him. 

“Who-” Derrick stammered, the sun blinded him so he had a hard time making out the features of the large man walking towards him. 

“Name’s Shawn. I live ‘round here on my farm. What's got ya stuck here bud?” 

The man finally walked close enough for Derrick to see him. His ginger hair and beard shining in the hot summer sun. A layer of sweat and grime covered his body, leaving a glistering pattern across his body. His strong arms were adorned with wild patterns of ink, while a cigarette was burning in the corner of his mouth. 

Derrick slowly got up, his eyes level with the man's strong pecs. 

“I uh… my car… it broke down...“ He stammered. The man looked really dangerous, but he might be able to help.

“I’m heading to Dallas.. I have a conference to attend…” Derrick continued. “Could you maybe... Help me?” 

“Of course I can lil man, what ever did you think I stopped for? Hop in!” He held out his arm and lead Derrick to the truck. Kind of perplexed, he sat down on the passenger's side of the truck as he watched Shawn hitch his Corolla onto the truck. With surprising ease he single-handedly fixed the car to the truck, and hopped in. 

“Imma take ya to my house if ya don’t mind. Got my tools there, and you’ll be able to get outta those damp and dirty clothes.” Shawn started the truck and began to drive. 

The first few minutes of the drive were some of the most awkward minutes of Derrick’s life. The city boy was staring straight ahead, while Shawn was humming along to a pretty stereotypical country song. After about 10 minutes of this gut wrenching social awkwardness Derrick decided to break the ice. "So uh… what do you do around here?" The usually well spoken University student was quite embarrassed about the weak start to the conversation.  

"Well I run a farm round here, and help the folks with broken down cars and such. Real handyman if I do say so myself." 

"And you do this all by yourself?" Derrick asked, quite perplexed. It seemed like an awful lot of work for just one guy.

"Well yup, gotta work hard, just me, myself and I, suppose I'd be nice if I had an extra set of hands sometimes, but ya get used to it ya know?" Shawn looked over and smiled, a surprisingly white set of teeth shined out from in between the dusty, dirty lips. 

"I can understand, but no girlfriend? Or… wife maybe?" Derrick pried. He couldn't believe a guy was doing all that work all on his own, there must be someone to help him around, at least with housework right?

"Nah, just on my lonesome. Would also be nice to have someone to share the lonely nights with, but work comes first of course." He smirked with a sly wink thrown at his passenger.  

Derrick felt a weird feeling of discomfort spreading across his body as they turned into a small dirt road. 

"We're almost there pal, then we can get started on your car." 

"How long would it take?" Derrick asked with a light hint of panic in his voice.

Shawn tilted his head a bit. 

"That depends on the damage honestly," he replied "but probably not till tomorrow evening."

"Really?? Dang! I need to be in Dallas in two days..…"

Shawn shrugged . "I'll see what I can do for you man, but it's gonna get dark, dinner needs to be made, I need to shower, so I can't start till at least tomorrow. " 

Derrick sighed. "I get that.. yeah thanks anyways." He slumped back into his seat, hoping he would make it. 

"There she is." Shawn remarked. Derrick looked up and saw a small farm in the distance. There were big fields with crops around it, a giant shed and a two story building. "It looks very cozy." Derrick said.

"Thank you! I've gotten it from my pops." Shawn smiled sadly, clearly remembering the good times he'd had with his father. 

Derrick fell silent and stared out the window the last 5 minutes of the trip. They finally arrived and Shawn stopped the car. As he got out Derrick looked around full of curiosity.  He had never been to a farm before, it was almost as he was entering a new world. 

"Are ya comin or what, pup" Shawn exclaimed. Derrick blushed. 

"Y-yes I'm coming!" He stammered, and quickly got out of the car. The Texan heat hit him hard as he climbed out of the truck. 

"Lord… it's hot here"  he mumbled.

Shawn couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah it gets hot like hell here." 

Derrick wiped his forehead, which was already covered in sweat. 

"Come let's get you inside, you're not going anywhere if you die from heatstroke."

Shawn grabbed Derrick's bag from the back of the truck and walked to the front door, where he turned to wait, and Derrick quickly followed him. 

Once inside it felt like the temperature had dropped several degrees. "It's very cool in here… how do you manage that?" Derrick asked while looking around. It was a very stereotypical looking farm room. All wooden furniture, a round carpet underneath the table, and a big Australian Shepherd laying on the big couch. 

"Well it's called AC. I don't know if they have it in the city but…" Shawn smirked at his own joke while Derrick turned red. 

"Oh yeah, of course.." he stammered. 

Shawn laughed at the fumbling city boy as he grabbed a box from a cabinet in the corner of the room. He sat down on the couch and opened up the box. Inside were a few large, expensive looking cigars. A weirdly alluring scent hit Derrick's nose when the box was opened. He couldn't help but stare as Shawn lit one of them and took a large drag. The dog put their head on Shawn's lap and sighed as its owner smoked. 

"Come boy, sit down. Do you want one?" Shawn asked after seeing the intense look on Derrick's eyes. 

"N-no thank you sir." Derrick had never smoked in his life, and knew the dangers that came with it, so he was quite confused by his intriguing behavior. 

He sat down on the other side of the couch as Shawn blew out another big cloud. 

"Nothing better than smoking a fat one after a hard day." He looked over at Derrick and his smile widened. He spread his legs and threw one arm on the back of the couch. With the cigar between his teeth he petted the dog's head. 

"W-what's their name?"  Derrick asked. 

"His name is Buddy" Shawn scratched behind Buddy's ear and he groaned softly.

"Old mutt, but can't help but love him. Only company I've had for years!"

Derrick smiled at the clear show of affection towards the dog. "He sure is cute." He reached over and pet the dog on its snout. As he did he got a face full of cigar smoke in his face. Derrick coughed, tearing up as he quickly moved back to his old spot. 

"Sorry pup, didn't think you'd move over.'' Shawn apologized looking concerned at the lanky adolescent.

"It's…fine…" Derrick said between coughs. Shawn leaned back again. He took one last big drag and put the cigar in an ashtray next to the couch. 

"I'm gonna take a shower bud, there are drinks in the fridge over there" he said pointing at a door which probably lead to the kitchen. Shawn got up and headed towards another door. 

After Shawn got in and the shower started running Derrick immediately sat down next to the ashtray and still smoldering cigar. 

His heart was beating in his chest. Derrick had never smoked before in his life but he couldn’t explain this weird attraction he felt towards the cigar. He took it in between his fingers and sniffed. The smell that had captured him now drilled into his nose. He groaned as a warm feeling washed over his body. 

Slowly, almost as if he was afraid to break the cigar, Derrick brought it to his mouth. He parted his lips and put it in between his teeth, and he took a drag. A weird feeling immediately spread through his body. It was similar to the warmth he felt when he sniffed the cigar, but it was stronger, and heavier. Derrick went to put the cigar down but found he couldn’t. Instead his arm brought the cigar back up to his lips, and his mouth automatically welcomed it back in. He took another drag. The feeling intensified, this time also rushing to his head. His thoughts slowed down, his inhibitions stopped and his resistance crumbled. He kept inhaling and blowing out the smoke. Derrick closed his eyes as he felt more and more comfortable smoking. His legs started spreading apart and an uncharacteristic smirk appeared on his face. The strong warm feeling started to strengthen even more, and Derrick couldn’t help but let out a small moan. He pawed at his crotch as he felt himself getting hard. He chuckled. Getting hard from smoking a cigar, go figure. 

As he was groping, his hands started to get bigger. His formerly dainty fingers grew rough and calloused. His arms quickly followed, packing on muscle. His forearms doubled in size, while his bi- and triceps almost tripled. His shoulders started to broaden, his shirt straining against his growing frame. His neck was next, thickening, putting the fabric of his shirt to the test. His groans slowly grew deeper, and with a loud cough his voice had settled in its new low, deep baritone. 

Derrick started scratching the tight fabric of his shirt as his chest started to tingle. Slowly, with every breath he took, his pecs started to fill with muscle and fat. He chuckled again, this time his deep laugh resounding through the empty room, as he felt them jiggle while flexing them. His tight stomach started to contort as a row of abs started to push out. They quickly got covered by a layer of fat which made his waist grow broader in tandem, giving him a strong core. His skinny legs were next, rapidly bulking up, his dress pants straining against the new bulky tree trunks they were containing. Not only did they grow bigger, they also grew hairier. Derrick absentmindedly scratched his thick legs, as the hair grew up against his pants. His shoes started to feel constraining as his feet went from size 9 to 13. His sneakers tore open as his toes burst through the fabric. His pants, which were already tight from the new layer of hair and big muscles, finally started to rip as his legs also grew longer. The cotton of his dress pants fell in tatters around Derrick, airing out his thick legs, and out of proportion bulge. Derrick took another big drag as he looked at his bulge, which he started to grope again. 

As his large hand started to squeeze his package, it began to grow. His balls started to churn as more and more seed started to be produced. His sad 6 inch stick started to grow. It was already hard before, but it began to thicken and lengthen to such a degree that his tighty whities started to strain. Derrick grunted as he just tore off his underwear, letting his massive 12 inch fuck stick bounce up against his stomach. His balls grew, hanging lower and lower until they finally hit the couch. Derrick started to stroke his new massive rod, groaning at the sensitivity. He continued to smoke as his head started to heat up.

His jaw began to itch, an itch he answered by scratching all over his slowly sharpening jawline. As he scratched the hair on his head slowly started to fall out. His locks fell down, some of the hairs sticking to his face. After a bit he was completely bald, but with a full beard in exchange. His lips started to plump, perfect for sucking on cigars. His nose widened, immediately blowing a stream of smoke through it. His brows got stuck in a permanent slight frown, while his face aged slightly. A piercing pain spread across his body. Derrick looked down and saw intricate black patterns spread across his body, and by the feeling behind his ear a tattoo appeared there as well. 

Derrick blew out one last cloud of smoke as the door to the bathroom opened up. Shawn came out and grinned as he looked at the unfamiliar figure on his couch. 

“Hey Derrick” Shawn walked over as he dried his still wet hair. 

“I told you…call me Rick. But goddamn Shawn… You look amazing all wet like that.” Rick continued to stroke his massive rod as his lover walked over. His mind started to fill with new memories. Shawn was his boyfriend… yeah that sounded about right. They had been talking for a few months, and Rick finally saved up enough money to come and see him. Shawn sat down right next to him and put his hands on his new boyfriend's legs. 

“You need help with that?” Shawn asked as he looked at Rick’s python. He wrapped his hand around it and slowly started to jerk it. Rick groaned and put his hands behind his head as his man started to work it. Shawn grinned and slowly inched closer to the dick. Rick smirked and put his hand on the back of Shawns head, and gently guided him towards his meat. Shawns lips parted, and he skillfully took the whole of Rick’s rod down his throat, which was massaging the tip of Rick’s sensitive stick. Rick’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as Shawn sucked him off. 

He felt himself come closer, and he quickly, but gently took Shawns head of his dick. 

“I’m about to cum..” Rick started.

“Let me have it baby” Shawn winked and took the rod into his mouth again. Rick bit his lip as he looked at his adorable boyfriend sucking him off.  

“Sure thing babe…” He replied and he pushed Shawns head down and made him deep throat his length again. Shawn didn't even flinch and tightened his throat around the meat in his mouth, which finally sent Rick over the edge. As his balls emptied out, more memories started to fill his mind. His days on the farm, working. His skills on the machines. His hardcore fuck sessions with his boyfriend. They had known each other since they were young, and moved in together when Shawn's parents died. They inherited the farm and fields around it and worked together to cultivate the crops. They dropped out of college to make a living on the farm. With a final shot of cum, the last traces of Derrick disappear, leaving only the new and improved Rick to remain.  

“Fuckkk… baby you are a magician with that mouth.” Rick groaned as Shawn got off of the Ricks dick with an audible pop. 

“I know what you like baby” Shawn smirked at his boyfriend, before rising up and locking lips with his lover. Rick answered his man’s kiss by pushing his tongue into his mouth. After a session of aggressive making out, the two men move away from each other, staring into each other’s eyes.

“How about round two? But this time I’ll be on top?” Shawn asked with a sly wink. 

“I thought you'd never ask.” Rick replied, and he pulled his boyfriend close, lifted him off the couch, and walked over to their bedroom, slamming the door behind them, ready for a night of their lives.

________________________________________________________________

A few months later, the two men were still happily working together on the farm. Rick drove back onto his property, parking his pick-up truck next to his lover's tow truck. He smiled at his boyfriend who was sitting on the porch smoking a cigar, scratching Buddy behind his ear. 

Rick got out of his truck, patting a bulge in his pocket. He had gone into town to buy a ring, wanting to take the relationship with Shawn to the next level. He walked over to Shawn with a big smile. 

“Tonight,” He thought, “Tonight I’ll ask” He sat down next to his boyfriend and lit a cigar, his former life as a city boy nothing more than a forgotten memory. 

[l4ndon0rris]

Two Years On; DR3

Part one: Two Years On//Part two: Two Years Ago//Part three: Battle of the Exes

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x you

Summary: you find out your ex is back in town and have the awkward first meeting, just lots of angst really and more to come

Warnings: swearing/mentions of alcohol

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: tysm for the likes on my sneak peek yesterday!! this is my first piece of fictional writing in a long, long, time. Please forgive any mistakes!! I already have other parts of this story written so if this goes okay then I'll carry on posting :)

gif credit

Sunday; currently being spent mostly horizontal on the sofa, endlessly scrolling through your phone. You were already onto your second romcom of the day, reeling from the spontaneous romances between two unexpecting strangers that made you feel a little warm and fuzzy inside. A hazy sun crept through the blinds, the temperature in Australia beginning to creep up in August. A video of a cat parkouring around a house piqued your interest enough to earn a slight puff of air to escape your nose, truly riveting content.

“Yo!” Harriet made her arrival known as she entered the apartment you both shared. Craning your neck to look over the back of the sofa, she was placing grocery shopping on the kitchen countertop and began unloading and packing things away into various cupboards. “I see you’re having a productive morning,” waving a packet of sweets you’d requested before she left, you flashed a smile and settled back down on to the sofa. You proudly shared the achievement of moving from your bedroom to the sofa whilst she’d been shopping.

“Guess who I saw while I was out…” raising her eyebrows at you expectantly waiting a nonsensical list of names.

“The president? No, No! Shawn Mendes? Did he finally track me down?” Sarcastic yet hopeful that this time it may be true.

“Girl,” Harriet shut a cupboard door and turned to you, “you have to got to let the fantasy go.” Ignoring her dream crushing response you waited for her to share the mystery person. “But no, wrong. It was, er…” Harriet paused. You sat up and looked at her leaning on the kitchen counter, head dropped between her shoulders causing you to frown at her hesitation. Nudging her to give up the answer, she looked up with a hint of sympathy and nervous energy in her eyes, “Danny Ric.”

You swallowed. Feeling your face drop no matter how you tried to compose yourself. “Well,” you attempted to respond, not quite knowing how exactly the feeling you carried in that moment, “it must be summer break.” The best you could come up with in attempt to brush it off, even though you knew you couldn’t fool Harriet. She walked over, lifting up your feet and placing them on her lap as she sat beside you. Your focus was solely on the crappy romantic film with overly cheesy couples parading their romance around.

“He looked good,” she sighed which you only reacted to with a shrug refusing to break eye contact with the television. “He asked how you were,” caution was in her voice.

“Good for him,” a curt reply, hoping she’d take a hint. Harriet fidgeted slightly, her stare burning through the side of your head. “He’ll just be visiting his family,” you stated, attempting to sound a little friendlier to break the tension you held.

“Well yeah, I just thought, you know…” Harriet was dancing around the subject and you had a wash of guilt for making her uncomfortable when she hadn’t done anything wrong, she was just trying to protect and warn you he was home for the first time in a long time. Along with the guilt was the relief that you hadn’t joined her on the spontaneous shopping trip, saving yourself from an unexpected run in with the man who broke your heart. “You haven’t seen him since…”

Sitting up you crossed your legs looking at her with a tight-lipped smile, “Sorry, I just… kind of wish my Shawn Mendes prediction was correct right about now,” trying to provide a bit of comic relief to ease the tension you felt. “Did he say anything else?” Your brows furrowed together with a small flutter thinking about him; he’d asked about you but you had a slight hope that perhaps he’d mentioned he missed you or looked sad when he mentioned your name.

Harriet shared how he seemed slightly nervous to talk to her obviously knowing your friendship, how he looked a lot leaner from what she could remember but still in good shape, how he was home to see his family and spend some quiet time before jetting off somewhere. Harriet reeled off a few other details but all you could wonder was how his eyes had looked. Did they look happy or sad? Tired and overworked? That’s how you remembered him mostly looking in your final months together. You could tell everything from his dark eyes that were always sprinkled with a glimmer of his emotions. You suddenly longed to catch a glimpse of him yourself.

“He asked if we were going to Tommy’s party tonight,” bringing your attention back immediately. “I obviously told him that we were because.. we are, right?” Harriet quizzed, that was the plan but did that mean he was going? If Tommy knew he was home then undoubtedly he’d be invited considering the friend group was mostly made up of school friendships spanning over a decade. “He said he wasn’t sure if he should go,” Harriet had a sad look on her face and I couldn’t work out if her sympathy lied with yourself or Dan.

“Why wouldn’t he go?” you questioned; Harriet gave a small shrug with one of her shoulders but we both knew the answer to the question.

++++++

“Ladies,” Tommy extending his arm into his house as you arrived, “here, I’ll take them.” Tommy was a big friendly giant; he wouldn’t hurt a fly but all the time he spent working out on his physique meant he could easily hurt something much bigger than an insect if he so pleased. You handed over the bottles not wanting to turn up empty handed before you began to follow Harriet through the house to voices coming from the back garden. Tommy gently touched your arm earning your attention, Harriet continuing ahead. “You got a minute?” He asked quietly, the daunting fact that Dan could already be in the back garden when you head out there suddenly rose. Harriet had already prepared you with a large gin before you left the house and reeled off some independent women quotes, but you drew the line when she started playing Kelly Clarkson’s Since You Been Gone from the speakers. Granted, all of her support had helped you feel prepared until this very moment.

“It’s fine, Tommy,” shaking your head with a small smile not wanting to create an awkward atmosphere; you certainly did not feel fine but you would be damned to show it. “Harriet bumped into him this morning, it’s fine,” trying to sound as convincing as possible.

“Well, he’s not here just yet and I don’t know if he will be, I just wanted you to know he might, you know,” both you and Tommy noticed your shoulders visibly relax. He’s not here, thank God. “Tell Jonny I’m fetching his beer now, he’s probably complaining of dehydration in the two minutes I’ve been gone, the tosser.” Tommy had a skill of making everybody feel at ease and left you to join the rest of your friends outside to find a predictable Jonny proclaiming he was parched and how ‘you can’t get the service these days’.

Two hours had passed since your arrival and every time a shadow appeared in the doorway to outside you braced yourself for it being Dan but seemingly those who were making the effort to come had already arrived. Selfishly, a part of you felt disappointed he hadn’t turned up. There wasn’t anything you wanted to say, there was no want or need to bash against his toned chest and yell at him until you were crying but to be able to see him and know you’d made it through the worst breakup and show him you were okay would feel like an accomplishment.

You downed your gin balloon and excused yourself from around the fire pit, promising Harriet a refill on your way back from the bathroom. You made your way upstairs to the bathroom, using the mirror to assist you in dabbing a spot of lipstick across your lips where the colour had transferred onto the drink straws and tying your hair back into a low bun, the night’s breeze had picked up slightly and it was looking more dishevelled than earlier before heading into the kitchen to mix another round of drinks.

There was a table that had an array of various bottles on it, searching around for the orange gin you and Harriet had been drinking all night which had seemingly disappeared. Opening the fridge expecting to find it in there chilling, puzzled you shut the door-

“You after this?” The voice from behind made you jump, your hand going to your chest as you spun around to find Dan.

“Hey,” was all you managed to get out as he stood there in front of you for the first time since he’d left you. The perfect Dan cut-out, oversized party shirt, ripped skinny jeans and vans. His skin still had a caramel glow, his curls were a lot shorter than you remembered but his eyes, they hadn’t changed at all. “Erm, yeah. Actually, I was,” you inhaled, the pair of you stood facing each other in silence. An ache in your chest rose just from looking at him, it felt reminiscent of the pain you harboured for months after your break-up. It hurt you that in that moment you couldn’t get a read on him no matter how much you looked into his deep brown eyes. 

He walked over to the cupboard, picked a glass out and filled it with a plentiful amount of orange gin. Watching almost in disbelief he was right here in front of you, the first time in two years. “Excusez-moi,” Dan broke your thoughts, taking a step away from the fridge suddenly not sure where to put yourself you chose to just linger in the silence. “Here,” Dan held out the glass toward you, looking between the glass and his eyes, “Orange gin and lemonade, right?” Dan asked, doubt washing over his face.

“Right, yeah, thanks,” Taking the glass from his hands, you consciously tried to avoid touching his hands in the exchange. Your eyes glanced over his tattoos that sat on his skin, you wondered if he had any new additions and where about they were if he had. You stood in place looking down at the drink in your hands still not knowing what to do. There was a time in your relationship where you almost got his race number permanently inked on your skin, forever grateful that the rational part of your brain kicked in and avoided doing so.

“You look good,” Dan popped the lid off his beer and took a swig. You coyly thanked him for the compliment even though it felt like polite small talk. It felt strange, never having had to make small talk with Dan for as long as you’d known him. 

“Are you making those bloody dri-” Harriet barged through the door to find you both stood facing one another in silence, “oh, heeey,” she drawled out awkwardly. “You know, it’s fine- I’ll just… drink from the pond, you two carry on,” you shot her a look that read what the fuck before she darted back out the kitchen.

You looked up at Dan feeling as though you had reverted back to teenagers getting second-hand embarrassment from your friend in front of a crush, “Well, that’s a new one even for her,” you quipped.

Dan had a smirk on his face, clearly amused by Harriet’s quick entrance and exit.  “Least we know where to find her when she passes out later,” his infectious toothy grin on display, your lips couldn’t help but twitch up into their own smile.

“We were always good at tracking her down in the end,” the sudden nostalgia stung; typically the nights you both had to pick up Harriet and head home were filled of drinking, dancing, kissing, teasing, the touches. You suspected Dan felt the same as his face seemed to solemn as quickly as your own. The tension between you became undeniable; you didn’t know whether to turn and run, pray the world swallowed you whole or spontaneously combust under his gaze.

“Can we talk?” Dan questioned, cutting through the tension with his words. His eyes looking at you pleadingly. You knew ‘the talk’ was inevitable but you didn’t think he’d attempt to have the conversation here and now. Your mouth opened with silence but the shake of your head instinctively answered him. “Please,” he added.

“I just- I don’t think there’s anything to say,” you avoided his eyes knowing you’d crumble under their gaze.

“I disagree,” he countered, “I just think we left it a little… fucked.” Dan swallowed; your heart dropped thinking back to the night. “Not we; me. I did. I… I fucked it.” Your heart swelled at the admission but you couldn’t engage in the conversation without emotions getting involved, emotions you didn’t want Dan to witness right now.

“It was a long time ago,” you attempted to brush it off casually but standing here with him now made it feel like yesterday. Dan nodded slowly and let out a sigh admitting defeat in the current situation, he stepped beside you and head outside to join the group without saying another word. A crushing feeling overcame you. Perhaps two years wasn’t enough time to get over the love of your life after all.

Harriet re-entered the kitchen, assuming she’d seen Dan exit the house without you in tow. You were sipping from your straw from the gin Dan had made for you. “How was the pond water?” You smirked toward her; you wouldn’t let her forget that one for a while. Harriet pulled a face back at you before over exaggerating making her own drink that you’d promised. “Sorry, was kind of caught off guard there,” you acknowledged.

Harriet shared how Dan had arrived whilst you were in the bathroom, how she thought he definitely scanned the fire pit to see if you were here and he’d probably and correctly assumed the empty seat next to her was indeed for you. Apparently she had debated whether to rugby tackle across everyone around the fire pit to try and reach the bathroom before you walked out to him but ultimately decided an article she’d read on exposure therapy would be more beneficial.

“I cannot say I would recommend exposure therapy to everyone in that case,” you rolled your eyes. “He wanted to talk but I managed to avoid it.”

For now, at least.

[yournameoneverypage]

Moon Over Miami

Anon request; Shawn Mendes x (y/n).

~3.1k

Warnings: Language.

~ * ~

You scowled at your overflowing carry on. You really didn’t want to bring something bigger, because that would mean baggage check and waiting at luggage carousels and that was just a headache waiting to happen.

Shawn was stretched across your bed on his back, tossing a tennis ball in the air and catching it again. “(Y/n), it’s Miami and we’re only going to be there for four days,” he chuckled. “You do not need to pack so many clothes.”

“Yes, I do. You’re a boy; you don’t understand.”

“First off, I am not a boy. I am a man, and a very attractive one at that.”

You rolled your eyes. Even if you wholeheartedly agreed, you were not going to stroke his ego.

“At the very least, lose most of the makeup. You’ll just sweat it off anyway. And you know I like you better without all that gunk on your face.”

“It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t like, now does it?” you snarked.

He sat up and leaned back against the pillows at the headboard. “I just meant that you’re already so pretty, naturally.”

Shawn was always finding little ways to compliment you and, secretly, you loved it, even if it made you blush, even if it was hard to believe some days.

“Fine.” You threw your hands up in the air in frustration. “You pack for me then.”

“Fine. I will.” He stood from the bed and poked your side. “So dramatic,” he teased, dancing his fingertips from ribcage to hip.

You gave him a small shove, and quickly moved out of tickling range (he knew where your most sensitive spots were). You stuck your tongue out at him.

“Don’t stick it out unless you intend to use it,” he smirked.

“Ha! You wish,” you giggled.

~ * ~

You and Shawn.

It was...confusing.

You had first met him five months ago and had become a regular fixture in his life over the past three. You were friends, good friends. Good friends who spent a ridiculous amount of time together. Good friends who flirted. A lot.

There were feelings, definitely on your side, growing stronger every day you spent together, and you were starting to believe there were deeper feelings on his side as well.

Other than outright pressing your lips to his, and you had never really been that forward with anyone, you weren’t sure what to do to tip the scales from friendship and flirtation to more.

You could simply tell him you were falling for him and that you wanted to take your relationship to the next level, but that scared you even more than the thought of kissing him.

~ * ~

Fifteen minutes later, Shawn stood smugly beside you. Your bag was packed neatly, and you were happy with everything he chose (not that you would admit that to him), which showed you he knew you better than you thought he did. There was even enough room left over for accessories.

It shouldn’t have surprised you; he was pretty adept at packing, having been on tour so often.

“Shut up,” you mumbled.

“I didn’t even say anything!”

“But you want to.”

Shawn laughed.

You only added two things, just to prove a point.

~ * ~

You may as well have been in Florida with only Brian and Connor for as often as Shawn had been around the first two days.

The trip had started out incredibly.

You took a redeye from LA to Miami. Shawn held your hand during takeoff and landing. It was your first time flying first class; you didn’t care that you slept through most of it.

Shawn had rented a 3-bedroom beachfront bungalow for the long weekend and had ordered a breakfast basket to be waiting for you when you got there. Everyone ate their fill of croissants and muffins and fresh fruit while you sipped your tea and coffee. Afterward you all agreed that a morning nap poolside sounded ideal.

Shawn claimed the double lounger for the two of you. You curled up beside him and he threw a light blanket over both his and your legs. You laid your head on his shoulder and were asleep within minutes.

When you opened your eyes again, after the best nap you may have ever had in your life thus far, Shawn was no longer beside you. You could see him just inside the back door, talking on his phone.

“Hey,” he announced, returning to the patio, after seeing that you, Brian, and Connor had all awoken. “I’m going to catch up with Camila. I’ll text you after lunch; see where you are.”

~ * ~

You didn’t see Shawn again that first day until you were making plans to spend the evening in South Beach for sunset drinks, dinner, and then a pub crawl for even more drinking.

The boys teased you for being such a lightweight. You were blissfully buzzed, which made it easier for you to let your inhibitions go. Shawn was more intoxicated than you were, which made it a lot easier for you to tug him onto the dance floor.

Flush against him while you moved together to the music, fingertips grazing bare skin, it was too easy to forget that you had been upset with him at all.

Spending all afternoon at the Bayside Market in the hot Miami sun, followed by a night of drinking and dancing into the very early hours of the morning had finally caught up with you. By the time you made it back to the bungalow, you were piggyback on Shawn, your sandals dangling from his fingers by the straps.

~ * ~

Day 2 began with three boys nursing hangovers much worse than yours. You did little things to annoy them, on purpose, which was, admittedly, not very nice of you. You knew they’d had enough when they decided to throw you in the pool. When Shawn reached out, laughing, to help you out, you pulled him in instead.

He chased you into one of the corners of the deep end, trapping you between the pool wall and his hard, wet chest, his arms on either side of you. You had to hold onto his biceps to keep yourself afloat, which, from the look in his eyes, was exactly how and where he wanted you.

Your heart was telling you to use this position to your advantage, finally tip those scales, and you might have if it had been the night before when you were a little drunk. Regretfully, you were sober and when you were sober you tended to overthink things. Now that you were sober, he was too close.

You ducked underwater, under his arm, and quickly pulled yourself out of the pool.

~ * ~

Once you were dry and dressed, you dragged Shawn, Connor, and Brian to Wynwood to go on a golf cart tour of the Walls. They had all been to Miami before, more than once, so they had put you in charge of the itinerary.

From Wynwood you made your way to Little Havana.

After a string of late afternoon texts from Camila, Shawn asked if she could join the four of you for dinner. He wanted you to meet her.

They tried their best to be inclusive throughout dinner, and Camila was certainly nice enough, but still you felt like the fifth wheel, the spare, most of the time.

After dinner, Shawn and Camila wandered off together. When it became clear that Shawn wouldn’t be returning to the house with the rest of you, your heart sank. You stewed in your hurt until it became anger.

You understood that Camila was one of Shawn’s best friends, and he hadn’t seen her for a while. You could forgive him for the day before, but this was supposed to be your trip. You, Brian, Connor, and Shawn. D'Artagnan and the Three Musketeers. If all Shawn had wanted to do was hang out with Camila, why had he bothered to invite you at all? You held no grudge against or felt any ill will toward Camila. It wasn’t her fault that Shawn was being a clueless dick.

~ * ~

You were laying on your side, looking out the window of which you forgot to close the blinds. The moon reflected off the still water of the pool that you could see from your room.

You heard the quietest clearing of someone’s throat. You rolled over to see Shawn leaning against the frame of the doorway, bare chested, in soft gray pajama bottoms.

“Couldn’t sleep?” you asked softly. You couldn’t sleep either, even though you were exhausted.

You really didn’t want to spend the remainder of your time in Miami being angry with him. There were still two days left. You patted the mattress on the empty side of your bed. That was all the invitation he needed.

Shawn crawled into bed beside you, tugged on the open collar of the other half of his pajamas, and chuckled, “Thief.”

“It’s so soft, and it smells like you,” you whispered.

Shawn laid his head on your stomach and you instinctively started to run your fingers through his hair, tugging gently on his curls. You heard him sigh deeply, contentedly, and the next thing you remembered was waking up to the bright morning sun.

~ * ~

You smiled and stretched languidly. Shawn must have made his way back to his own room during the night sometime. You didn’t hear anyone else up and about yet. You decided to surprise the boys by making breakfast.

Brian and Connor stumbled into the kitchen, following the smell of sizzling bacon and strong coffee.

“Is Shawn still sleeping?” you asked.

Connor and Brian exchanged a look. Connor cleared his throat and said, “Shawn isn’t here.”

You didn’t even have to ask where he had gone. Returning to your room you retrieved your phone on the nightstand. You hadn’t bothered to check it when you woke up.

There was a group text from Shawn that read:

Grabbing a workout and then a quick breakfast with Camila. Be back soon.

Brian and Connor were nearly finished eating when Shawn returned, oblivious to what he was walking into. He grabbed a few slices of bacon and sat down to join them at the kitchen island.

“Where’s (y/n)?”

Brian and Connor shook their heads at him. “You can be such a prick sometimes,” Brian said. Both he and Connor then stood and left the room.

Confused, Shawn glanced around and suddenly it all made sense. “Shit,” he said to himself, under his breath.

~ * ~

Shawn stood in your bedroom doorway like he had the night before.

“I’m sorry, (y/n).”

You refused to acknowledge him.

“I didn’t know you were going to make breakfast or I would have been back sooner.”

You wanted to bite at him that he shouldn’t have been gone at all.

You had just pulled on your swimsuit cover up when you turned to him. His eyes snapped from your ass to your eyes. You slipped on your sunglasses, grabbed your beach bag, and said, “Brian, Connor, and I will be on the beach, if you decide you want to join us.” You pushed past him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he replied.

~ * ~

You purposely chose to wear the smallest, sexiest bikini you had with you. It wasn’t one you yourself would have packed but since Shawn had been the one to pack your carry on he must have wanted to see you in it. The day you bought it was a day when you were feeling particularly confident in your body.

By the time Shawn made it down to the beach, he found you in conversation with two young men who weren’t Brian or Connor. You had removed your cover up and stood before them in your tiny white string bikini.

You were laughing at something one of them was saying. Shawn saw you reach out and briefly place your hand on his forearm.

Shawn was unprepared for the surge of violent irritation that nearly overtook him.

He saw you notice him. He bristled when you leaned in and said something in the other man's ear. He watched as you slid the temple tip of your sunglasses between your teeth. He saw you put your hand on your waist and slightly arch your back. He watched as you touched the small pendant of the necklace you were wearing and drew it away from the skin between your breasts.

Shawn hated the way the two men were looking at you. His stomach churned; his muscles tensed; his heart felt too tight in his chest. He couldn't take anymore.

Sidling up beside you, he wrapped his large hand around the nape of your neck, gently yet possessively.

“Oh, hi Shawn,” you said casually, shrugging out of his grip. “Meet my new friends, Chase and Evan.” You smiled at them, fluttering your eyelashes and biting softly on your lower lip.

“Boyfriend?” Chase asked.

“Oh no, Shawn and I are just friends.” You eased closer to Evan and reached out, meaning to touch the bracelet he was wearing, but before you could, Shawn grabbed your wrist.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he gritted through a fake smile, pulling you away.

“Let go of me,” you snapped. He did, immediately. He never had nor would he ever do anything to physically hurt you.

Brian and Connor, having seen more than enough, hurried toward you. They made you and Shawn take a step back.

“What the hell is going on?” Connor exclaimed.

“(Y/n) is being childish,” Shawn growled.

Maybe you were, but you were upset, goddamn it. “Me?! Look who’s talking! You’re acting like a jealous boyfriend! You have no claim on me!”

“You’re both being childish!” bit Brian. “And you’re starting to cause a scene. Get over yourselves and fucking talk like adults. If you can’t, walk away,” he admonished.

Shawn ran a hand through his hair and tugged frustratingly on his curls before storming off.

Brian gestured for Connor to stay with you and he followed after Shawn.

“Why did you have to antagonize him?” Connor questioned.

You glared at him. “This is not my fault. Of course you’re on his side.”

“I am on no one’s side. You’re both at fault, and you fucking know it. Yeah, he’s kind of been an asshole, but you didn’t have to flirt with those guys so brazenly right in front of him.” Connor’s voice softened. “You know how he feels about you, (y/n). You should apologize.”

You were thoroughly abashed but still feeling stubborn. You turned on Connor and said, “I will when he does.”

You put your cover up back on, slipped into your sandals, and grabbed your clutch which held your wallet, your eReader, and your phone. You trusted Connor to bring everything else back to the bungalow for you.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“For a walk. I need to be alone.”

~ * ~

The sun was going down when you returned to the house.

When you walked in the door, Shawn, who had been sitting on the edge of the ottoman, stood, and approached you cautiously. He rubbed the back of his neck. “You were starting to worry us,” he said softly.

“I’m sorry. I needed some time to cool off and to think.”

“I’m just glad you’re safe.” His relief was palpable. He stepped even closer to you. “I’m sorry. For how I acted and what I said on the beach. It’s inexcusable.”

“I am, too. I should never have purposely tried to upset you.” You unconsciously reached out and ran your fingertips along the V of Shawn’s t-shirt. “That was the first time we’ve ever fought... I didn’t like it.”

He covered your hand with his, flattening your palm against his heart, which you could feel was beating quite quickly. “Come and have dinner. It’s time to stop thinking and start talking.”

He smirked and began walking backward, hand still over yours.

It was that smirk that set your heart thumping. You followed, curiously, anxiously.

On the back patio was a romantic table set for two, surrounded by tea lights and lit candles.

“Shawn? What’s going on?” you asked, breathlessly.

He crossed to the table and pulled one of the chairs out for you. “Sit, Love. Eat.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“What?” He felt as if his heart might break.

“Too many butterflies.” You softly bit your bottom lip.

“Oh,” he breathed.

“Can we talk first?”

“Of course.”

You walked over to and sat down on the outdoor sectional.

Shawn dropped down beside you with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, (y/n). I’ve been, well, an asshole seems to be the overall consensus. I shouldn’t have ditched you to spend so much time with Camila.”

“I know you’re close,” you said, “and I know it had been awhile since you’d seen her. I tried to be understanding.”

“No,” he interrupted, “this is on me. This was supposed to be our trip. You, Brian, Connor, and me.”

“D'Artagnan and the Three Musketeers,” you said in unison and you both laughed.

Shawn leaned closer you. “Do you want to know the truth?” he asked, as if it was the greatest secret he held, which, to him, it was. “She was talking me through my feelings for you.” He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “She made it very clear to me that I was ‘estúpido’ for spending time with her instead of the person I should be, for talking through my feelings with her instead of with the one I really needed to talk with.”

“You have feelings for me?” you breathed, feeling your entire body flush, not just your cheeks.

Shawn laughed softly and took your hands in his, intertwining your fingers. “It’s not obvious? I was jealous of those other guys because I want to be the boyfriend. I want the right to call you mine... I’m falling in love with you, (y/n). Which is insane since we haven’t even kissed yet. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to; every time I see you I want to kiss you.”

Without warning, you pressed your lips to his. It took him not even a moment to respond, pulling you onto his lap and cupping your face. Kissing Shawn was even better than you had ever imagined it would be.

When finally you eased away from him, breathless, you confessed, “I’m falling in love with you too, Shawn. I want you to be mine. I want to be only yours.”

“Does that mean I can kiss you whenever I want to?” he whispered, grinning happily.

“Over and over and over again,” you breathed.

His lips once more met yours. Your hands encircled the nape of his neck. Tender and unhurried turned deep and delicious.

Your lips left his with an audible ‘aʘa’ and you giggled. “Can we eat now? I’m starving.”

Shawn’s answering laugh, rich and lightsome, was everything.

~ * ~

@mendesblurb @benito-mi-vida

[shawnsprincesse]

When life throws you lemons Part 5 (Shawn Mendes Au)

When life throws you lemons, you’re forced to deal with Shawn Mendes. Before moving in with five guys, including Shawn Mendes, Kylie swore she would never ever in her life allow Shawn to get anywhere near her but things quickly change and soon she finds herself drunkenly kissing him in a bathroom. What starts as a drunken kiss turns into a passionate secret relationship.

I woke up with a dry mouth and a bitter taste across my tongue. My head was pounding and the light coming through Harry’s window was unbearable.

”What time is it?” I groaned as I shifted on the worn out couch in the corner of his room.

”11.” Harry replied as he turned around in his chair. 

”Where’s Bella?” I asked, immediately remembering that I’d came here with her last night and that was about as much as my brain could remember at this point.

”She’s downstairs with Niall.” Harry explained as he sat in his chair, observing me as I violently rubbed my eyes, hoping my light sensitivity would calm down.

”Really? Did she sleep with him?” I asked Harry. I was too tired to be giddy about it.

”You mean, sleep sleep?” Harry asked with a chuckle. ”Cause I haven’t really had time to ask him that.” Harry laughed. 

”I hope they did.” I said jokingly, releasing a soft laughter before the pain inside my brain hit me like a brick wall. ”Could you shut the blinds, please?” I begged Harry as I held my hand up to shield myself from the shimmering bright sun.

”How much did you drink last night?” Harry asked, a concerned look coating his face as he stood up and reached towards the window to pull the blinds down.

”I don’t know… A lot.” I groaned, I was slowly starting to remember how much I’d drank the night before and I was quickly starting to regret all of my previous choices.

”That makes sense.” Harry chuckled. He seemed way too cheerful to be having a hangover but he also didn’t have a luring life crisis just around the corner that he needed to forget. The only reason I drank this was much to begin with was because of the cruel realization that in three weeks I’ll have no place to stay.

”I brought this onto myself.” I groaned as I sat up on the couch, reaching for the clear glass filled with water that Harry had placed on the table in front of me. The water was cold, indicating that he must’ve put it there earlier this morning. I gulped the liquid down as the memories of last night slowly came back to me. The fog inside my aching brain was slowly clearing up as I replied the night inside my head.

I’d brought this hangover onto myself and what seemed like a good idea at first had now ended in disaster. Not only was my anxiety over my living situation coming back but I was also painfully aware of the fact that me and Shawn had kissed not only once, but TWICE, in the bathroom and that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was that the image of his dick was still imprinted in my head as I replayed the moment over and over again inside my head.

Harry could NOT find out about this. Never.

”Are you hungry, do you want me to get your something to eat?” Harry asked softly as he watched me place the empty glass on the table.

”I don’t think I could eat right now.” It felt like I was about to throw up and I wasn’t sure if it was due to the images inside my head or the hangover I was experiencing.

”I’ll get you some more water.” Harry chuckled as he grabbed the glass on the table and walked out of the room. I released a heavy sigh as I leaned back against the couch.

”Oh great, you’re awake.” Shawn entered the room without a single warning.

”Go away!” I groaned as I shut my eyes hard, hoping that it was just my hungover brain hallucinating. I opened my eyes again, realizing that Shawn wasn’t just a part of my imagination like I’d wished. ”What do you want?” I sighed as he sat down next to me on the couch. My head was pounding and Shawn Mendes was probably the last person I wanted to see right now.

”Nothing.” Shawn replied simply as he looked over at me. I was going through literal hell and he seemed a little too amused by my suffering. ”Respectfully, but you brought this hangover onto yourself.” Shawn taunted me as he watched me hold my hands up to my forehead. Once upon a time, I heard that pressing hard between your two eyebrows would ease the pain of a headache but it didn’t seem to work, maybe it only worked for natural headaches and not self-induced hangovers.

”Respectfully, fuck you!” I groaned, the sight of Shawn made my insides boil and his cocky grin didn’t make things better. It made me even more mad that he didn’t seem to have a hangover either and we’d both consumed half a bottle of vodka. Life really wasn’t fair at this point.

”You keep saying that like it isn’t a dream of yours…” Shawn cooed teasingly. I clenched my fists together beneath the blanket covering my clothed body. Shawn’s wide grin taunted me and if I’d been strong enough, I would’ve punched his teeth out at this point. ”Should’ve done it last night while you had the chance.” Shawn continued to taunt me as he looked over at me on the couch.

”If you tell anyone else about last night I swear to God, I will make your life a living hell!” I cussed loudly as I clenched my fists even harder under the blanket. 

”I’d love to see you try.” Shawn grinned. He was so pleased with himself, he was like a child who’d found his parents secret candy stash. It was like he knew how much I wanted to punch him and he just kept pushing the limits, waiting for me to finally burst out in anger. I wish I had the energy and strength to burst out in anger but my head was beating harder than my heart at this point.

”If you weren’t so fucking annoying, I probably would’ve fucked you already but since you’re you…” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself. My brain was pounding so hard that I couldn’t even process my thoughts before they slipped out of my mouth.

Shawn looked at me amused and a little surprised as his grin widened.

”Oh really?” He raised his eyebrows at me, staying silent as he curiously waited for me to explain myself.

”Don’t let it get to your head, Mendes.” I rolled my eyes at him. His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and I couldn’t tell if he was actually excited about the idea of me having sex with him or if he was just amused by my statement.

”Which one of them?” He asked with a grin. I rolled my eyes and released a forced gagging noise as his eyes shifted towards his crotch and my eyes unfortunately followed. ”Mm, I wish you’d gag like that around my cock.” His voice was low and dark with a hint of sarcasm. I don’t know if my stomach twisted in disgust or excitement at his words, but I chose to ignore it completely and blame either reaction on my hangover. 

”You’re disgusting!” I shot him a hateful glare. 

”That might be, but don’t say you’ve never thought about it.” Shawn winked as he stood up from the couch, getting ready to exit the room as Harry was back with a glass of water. 

I rolled my eyes at Shawn as he walked out of Harry’s room. I was too stunned to speak and I honestly didn’t know what to say or how to defend myself because I knew for a fact that drunk me, last night, had certainly had one too many thoughts about him and it was haunting.

”Thanks.” I smiled, shifting my attention towards Harry as he handed me the glass of water. I gulped down the liquid quickly and laid back down on the couch. Maybe if I slept long enough I would just forget about everything that happened last night and maybe if I slept through the entire month, I would just magically have a place to stay at the beginning of next month.

”I told Bella you’re awake.” Harry chuckled as he sat back down in his chair. ”She’ll come up in a minute.” 

”I feel like I’m gonna throw up.” I groaned, I wasn’t sure whether I was going to throw up at the thought of choking on Shawn’s dick or due to my hangover. It was quite unclear what the fuck my body was doing and it was extremely unclear whether it was completely turned on or extremely disgusted.

”Do you want me to get you a bag?” Harry chuckled. ”How did you manage to drink this much?” He laughed as he looked through his desk drawer to see if there was any plastic bags there.

”I don’t know.” I shrugged. I did know, this was all Shawn’s fault. He was the one who challenge me to a drink off in the kitchen and now he had the fucking nerve to come in here looking alert as ever with not as much as a hint of a hangover. Fuck him.

”Here you go.” Harry handed me a plastic bag. 

”Thanks.” I smiled as I fiddled with the plastic until I could get it open, I wasn’t sure whether I was actually going to throw up or not but better to be safe than sorry. ”Where did a fall asleep this time?” I chuckled, not remembering how my night had ended.

”I’m honestly surprised you managed to fall asleep in the living room with all those people there.” Harry laughed and I released another chuckle. Drunk me can fall asleep anywhere and everywhere.

”Well, thanks for taking care of me.” I flashed Harry a soft smile, thankful that he was always looking out for me.

”Always!” Harry returned a smile.

There was a soft knock on Harry’s door and seconds later Bella carefully opened the door, peaking in through the little spring before fully entering the room.

”I’m gonna leave you two to gossip.” Harry laughed softly as Bella slowly walked into Harry’s room.

”Thanks.” I released a giggle. Harry closed the door behind him and Bella was quick to plop down next to me on the bed. 

”Are you okay?” She asked, her voice soft and delicate as she leaned back on the couch.

”Who cares about me!” I squealed. ”Spill the deets!” I cooed as I looked at Bella with glistening eyes.

”Harry told you?” She gasped surprised that I already knew about the fact that she’d spent the night with Niall.

”Yeah!” I smiled in excitement. ”Did you guys sleep sleep or just sleep?” I giggled, giddy like a school girl despite my throbbing head.

”Just sleeping.” Bella laughed softly. ”But, we shared the bed!” She cooed and the two of us squealed together, knowing how much she’d waited for this moment to happen.

”Did you cuddle?!” My high pitched voice echoed through the room as I looked at Bella.

”Sorta…” She smiled as a crimson red blush slowly began to form on her cheeks. ”I was kinda drunk but I think so…” She could barely contain her excitement as she nervously fiddled with her hands on her lap.

”Awww.” I cooed, happy for her. 

”Mhmmm.” Bella bit down on her bottom lip in an attempt to prevent herself from smiling too brightly. ”He asked me out for lunch so we’re gonna leave soon and I’m super nervous.” She explained, her feet impatiently tapping against the wooden floor.

”Yay!” I squealed. ”You can do this Bella!”

”Are you gonna stay here?” Bella asked.

”I think so, I need a nap.” I laughed knowing that this headache would never go away unless I went back to sleep.

”I might go home after lunch so call me when you feel better?” Bella said as she patted me gently on my shoulder.

”I will.” I smiled as I watched Bella stand up from the couch, her face still full of radiant excitement. ”Good luck!” I called out as I watched her exit the room.

”Thanks, and don’t think I’ve forgotten about what you told me last night…” She cooed before closing the door.

Fuck! Did my drunk self already tell her about Shawn?

[dangermousie]

2020 End of Year Post - cdrama edition

This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2020; if I had to make a post about all the cdramas I watched this year, I would still be doing it in three months...

Overall it’s been a fairly decent cdrama year (certainly better than the very lacklustre kdrama year.) It’s no miracle that 2019 was (so many excellent dramas!) but overall pretty solid.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

44 The Legend of Jing Yan - the worst cdrama I have seen this year, and possibly the worst drama of 2020, period. The hero and heroine were both uncharismatic, incapable of acting and saddled with such shrilly moronic characters, the only suspense was how they haven’t both perished long since from forgetting to breathe. Nor was anyone in the rest of the cast much better; the screenplay was written by a lower mammal and the cinematography was the best a third-rate wedding cinematographer could offer. Stay the HELL away from this one.

43 Unicorn Girl - the only unicorn about this bland yet irritating piece of pap was the fact that I was supposed to believe the leads are hockey players.

42 Autumn Cicada - I like spy stories, Allen Ren, and Republican Era settings. I can tune out Communist propaganda with the best of them. Yet, the propaganda ate the story to such a degree that there was nothing left; pre magic change Pinocchio was less wooden then this narrative.

41 You Complete Me - no you do not.

40 Skate into Love - the only positive thing I can say about this is that at least it’s better than Unicorn Girl, if for no other reason that only one of them is supposed to be a hockey player.

39 Irreplaceable Love - how do you make a story about fake siblings with a mad mother falling for each other boring? I don’t know, ask the makers of this.

38 Eternal Love Rain - I hate to rain on their parade, but these two actors cannot act, have about as much chemistry as a piece of bread, and are trapped in a story perfect for entertaining the mental abilities of the leads of Jin Yan.

37 For Married Doctoress - ummmm, you could do worse I guess. It only made me break out in mild hives. The sadistic ending did make me laugh though.

36 Dance of the Sky Empire - why you get Xu Kai and waste him in this insipid mess of a story is beyond me.

35 Love Designer - it’s inoffensive except to my sense of entertainment. There is nothing wrong with it but oh God is it bland.

34 Love a Lifetime - It felt like a lifetime watching this, but I didn’t love it. The story is incoherent, the actors have no chemistry and it’s all an epic waste of time.

33 Love is Sweet - so sweet it gave me diabetes. I like Luo Yunxi and Bai Lu, but there is literally no plot. I don’t need to sink into a plotless morass to watch pretty people engage in PG-rated make-outs. I am an adult with access to stronger stuff if I am thus inclined, though to be fair they could get x-rated and I still wouldn’t be able to sit through so many episodes of plotlessness for that.

32 Fake Princess - I love Zhao Yi Qin, but the guy needs to pick better projects. The female lead in this one has the voice and personality that can strip paint but the story is also doing nobody any favors.

31 The Changan Youth - I lost my brain checking this out. I had to go and read a dense treatise on medieval coinage or Mayan farming to try to recover it.

30 My Dear Destiny - kinda cheesy fun. It honestly shouldn’t be as low except it really feels like community theater.

29 Handsome Siblings - why is the Nic Tse version so good and this one so bad? True mystery for the ages. Chen Zhe Yuan is the sole reason this isn’t lower, because that kid tries SO HARD to make this drama bearable and almost succeeds. I can’t wait to see him in Sha Po Lang which actually will give him something to do.

28 In a Class of Her Own - see my comment on The Changan Youth. But at least Song Weilong is gorgeous to look at.

27 General’s Lady - inoffensive, pretty and so utterly pointless.

26 The Blooms at Ruyi Pavilion - those two leading actors are a no go to me but at least they considerately acted with each other instead of ruining two dramas for me. It’s very pretty though.

25 Jiu Liu Overlord - it’s a mess and I bailed, but I placed it this high merely due to the fact that Lai Yi finally gets a leading role and he’s sexy as fuck and I am shallow. Whoever styled Bai Lu should never work again except at a circus, however.

24 Cross Fire - not my genre and Luhan will always look too much like my cousin for comfort, but it’s a surprisingly gripping and dark drama. I liked it!

23 God of Lost Fantasy - if you want to watch a mediocre wuxia/xianxia, this is not a bad choice. Probably better than Legend of Fei actually, because at least it doesn’t have an A-list cast to waste and gives us Sheng Yilun himbo and shirtless.

22 Renascence - the insane cuts (it went from 70 eps to 36!!!) made a fairly cheesy story into a total mess. But I had a good time until I finally bailed mainly because of the male lead (Chen Zhe Yuan yet again carrying a not-good 2020 drama on his shoulders; the guy should be nicknamed Atlas) and the insane but in a fun way story. The female lead (both the character and the actress) were not up to par but oh well.

21 Legend of Fei - only this high because objectively there is nothing I disliked it. But there is nothing I liked either. The most uninspired drama on the list. If you could eat cardboard, this is what it would taste like.

20 Ever Night 2 - compared to EN1, it’s a waste of film. On its own merits, it’s not very good (the cast replacements are uniformly inferior and Dylan Wang is so wrong for Ning Que I cannot even put it into words; the script is useless.) But it had some parts I loved so very VERY much (all the shippy stuff was perfection) so I don’t feel too bitter.

19 Castle in the Sky 2 - a lovely if not too complex fairy tale. It is inferior to its prequel because it doesn’t have Zhang Ruo Yun who elevated it, but it’s still a solid bit of fun.

18 The Great Ruler - it’s very high fantasy, very pretty, and surprisingly involving.

17 (tie) Legend of Two Sisters in the Chaos - the secondary couple steals the show but the rest is not too bad if not too involving.

17 Legend of Awakening - a solid bit of fun with a seriously BDSM streak (theme this year apparently - but come on, the lead’s powers only activate when he’s in extreme pain!) It’s a bit generic and the costuming is done by a blind person, not to mention the OTP is a NOTP, but the rest of relationships (romantic and platonic) are wonderful (I live for the found siblings story in this one) and I like most of the characters.

16 Consummation - a rare modern cdrama I liked; a sweet coming of age story (and love story) even if wrapped in a pretty weird virtual reality concept.

15 Oops the King is in Love - this is how you do a low budget, sweet, silly piece of fluff. Our heroine pretends to be a eunuch and crosses paths with a powerless young king and they are adorable, even more so than the drama.

14 Song of Glory - pretty solid, though draggy and I didn’t love the toothpaste filter. But A+ cast, excellent leading couple chemistry, Li Qin being a BAMF and a leading man (Qin Hao) who is actually an adult.

13 And the Winner is love - objectively kind of a mess (and the heroine has the brainpower of a gnat), but the OTP chemistry is excellent and Luo Yunxi fighting and flirting with a fan as finally a leading man is worth the price of admission.

12 Miss S - snazzy and snappy and stylish and whatever else starts with S.

11 Eternal Love of Dream - I don’t know if it would work for you as well if you weren’t a hardcore shipper for this OTP in Three Lives but I was and this was such a darling, wonderful, shippy delight; plus I love this type of high fantasy.

10 (tie) Maiden Holmes - solid and sweet and a wonderful OTP. Proves that functional doesn’t have to mean boring. If you watch one cross-dressing drama this year make it this one.

10 Qin Dynasty Epic - srs bsns history epic. I am not far into it but it’s so good and smart and visually stunning (if you love battles, this one is for you.)

9 Love Lasts Two Minds - I adored this so much more than I should objectively have, but it’s so beautiful (and no I am not just referring to Alan Yu’s face) and the OTP has wonderful chemistry and the story is solid, and the whole trope of her memory being wiped but falling for him all over again while he’s constantly and utterly devoted is a fave; plus he’s in pain and semi-dyng for most of it so sluuuurp (happy ending, don’t worry)

8 To Love - yes, a modern drama is this high! But it involves intensity, tragedy, genuine adults and sexiness that is Lin Gengxin. And there is an actual plot and darkness OMG!

7 Legend of Xiao Chuo - so beautiful, so fun, so full of gorgeousness of Shawn Dou. Plus, Liao is a rare setting for a cdrama and there are a lot of characters and stories I liked a LOT. Less ship content than I wanted but more than I expected.

6 The Romance of Tiger and Rose - so so delightful. I was literally laughing out loud. I have no idea if it will work as well if one isn’t a seasoned watcher of period cdrama/reader of web novels, with bonus for watching/reading Goodbye My Princess, but it was a complete delight for me (and yes, I shipped for real, as well. Best of both worlds.)

5 Twisted Fate of Love - Jin Han gets a leading period drama role! And he’s enjoying it to the hilt, excellent as a smart, twisty bastard who is also charming and so madly in love with heroine. Sun Yi is beautiful and tough and her chemistry with JH is on fire, the story never drags, and it’s so twisty and fun and just awesome.

4 Love In Between - the most underrated drama on this list. It has no big names or big budget, but it’s wuxia that’s clever, driven, tragic, hopeful and so beautifully shot. Three separate (amazing) OTPs, a leading man who is so not typical (a doctor who cannot fight and who never acquires this ability) and who is intense and smart and damaged, a heroine who puts her quest ahead of her emotions, an unhealthy degree of involvement by yours truly. This is a drama Fei should have been.

3 Love and Redemption - such a lovely, addictive, utterly romantic fairy tale. I was obsessed with it for a reason. All the tropes you love and some you didn’t know you did, a star-crossed OTP to the nth power (and a secondary OTP I hardcore love), a twisty yet coherent plot, some insane chemistry and so much whump and hurt/comfort they must have bought blood packets in bulk.

2 Go Ahead - yes, I can’t believe it either. A contemporary slice of life cdrama made it this high on my list. But the way it feels so real, the found family perfection, the characters I love and loathe, the perfect cherry of a wonderful OTP that hits my narrative kinks on top, and just a perfect storm of loveliness all around with this one.

1 The Wolf - is that any surprise to anyone who’s checked out this tumblr for the last couple of months? Tragic, intense and gorgeous; so romantic and angsty and passionate it made me lose my mind (though some of it was gone the moment the camera panned to Darren Wang) - all my favorite tropes and then some; this is a drama that may not be perfect but it is 100% and then beyond perfect for ME.

FAVORITE DRAMA

The Wolf - I have seen objectively better cdramas; even this year. But it has been literal years since I have been this hardcore obsessed, this utterly pleased, this emotionally catered to and devastated at once. A beautiful dark fairy tale that manages to own me despite the storytelling gaps due to censorship, it took me for one of the biggest emotional roller coaster rides of my drama watching career. Visually gorgeous, poetic, intense, and so romantic it took my breath away, this is not just my favorite cdrama of 2020, it’s my favorite drama this year period, and the one cdrama this year to make it into my permanent Top 10 cdramas list.

WORST DRAMA

Legend of Jin Yan - see my write up for it for why as I refuse to waste more time on this stupid mess.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Wolfie, The Wolf - he is such a haunted, tormented, complex, dark mess; loving and violent, severely damaged and with a hidden yearning softness, longing and aloof. And the amount of charisma and sheer masculine sex appeal Darren Wang brings to the role is insane and not something I see much of in a cdrama. Plus, that character arc with its rapid fall and slow painful redemption is A++++

Runner Up:  Sifeng, Love and Redemption - has a male lead ever loved more utterly and selflessly, suffered more thoroughly and beautifully, and managed to have such chemistry with both his leading lady and his leading man (that his leading lady temporarily turned into) at once? The answer is no.

Almost made the cut - Feng Xi, Twisted Fate of Love, Han Shuo, The Romance of Tiger and Rose, Qing Ci, Love in Between.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Xiao Qian, The Romance of Tiger and Rose - so funny, so much the reason this drama was such a delight. I adore her beyond words.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Murder Daddy, The Wolf - I am sad the censors robbed us of seeing him die on screen. He was fully human but nonetheless managed to be the worst monster in a drama full of literal ones.

Ling Xiao’s Mom, Go Ahead - I hate her so much I don’t want to look up her name. She abused the kid, the disappeared and came back to abuse him some more. I mean she literally gave her child mental health issues. She is the WORST.

FAVORITE SHIP

Xing’er x Wolfie, The Wolf - are you kidding me? Who else could it ever be for me? They destroyed each other and saved each other, sworn enemies and childhood lovers, soulmates and epic messes, they couldn’t live with or without each other. The longing, the passion, the intensity, the angst, the epicness. LIKE THERE ARE NO WORDS!!!!

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Si Yuan, Shen Manqing, Love in Between - I loved them as much and often more than the main OTP. So much angst and passion and a happy ending! She is a seeming sect darling (except the sect is horrible and also sexist so her only worth is as a marriage candidate) and he’s an information broker who is actually one of the members of a destroyed sect that’s blamed for the massacre of her family. That chemistry and yearning is insane. The scene where she touches his face when he’s unconscious was in serious running for my favorite scene of 2020.

NOTP

Legend of Awakening - I have never seen a couple that didn’t just have no chemistry but exhibited actual revulsion towards each other before watching Chen Feiyu and Cheng Xiao try to act as lovers in this one. It was almost entertaining to be honest.

FAVORITE SCENE

It’s a tie and both are from The Wolf. One is a sequence where Wolfie marches to the walls alone, seeking death at Xing’er’s hands and the whole sequence with the battle and rescue follows. The other is the intercut between Xing’er going to her wedding and Wolfie going to his execution, and the auto-da-fe being intercut with her wedding.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Wolfie, The Wolf - Ummm have you seen this tumblr lately, it’s basically a drool shrine to the man.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Yelü Yansage, The Legend of Xiao Chuo - I have loved this actor since The Myth and he continued to competently steal every scene he was in.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

To Love - come out of the coma, dammit!!!!!!!

NEEDS A DIRECTOR’S CUT

The Wolf - duh. It started out as 59 eps and got cut to 49. I reaiize some stuff is never gonna get put in due to censorship, but some of the stuff that got cut got for time reasons because they were deluded and hoping to get a TV broadcast so ep count had to be under 50. I mean I doubt the censors would care if they kept scenes of Wolfie building her a swing or whatever. I really really want a director’s cut the way Goodbye My Princess did even if like with GMP it’s only three extra eps. Hell, I will take extra three minutes, as long as those three minutes are Darren Wang shirtless or with a sword. Ahem.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

The Song of Glory - it’s a fairly solid drama but honestly it didn’t need to be as long as it was and kind of got draggy and I got lost interest. (I could have gotten snarky and said all the dramas I didn’t like needed scissors taken to them in their entirety but decided to play nice.)

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

There are a number of dramas I could complain about with regard to this (hi there, darling The Wolf!) but this award goes to Renascence - poor Renascence was never going to be a masterpiece, but it had the potential to be a bit of good cheesy fun until it had its run time cut by more than half and became an incoherent piece of insanity.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Dumb shrill innocent heroine who can’t tie her shoes - see basically all the cdramas I didn’t like this year.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Male lead torture - I mean it’s always open season on that in cdramas, but between Love and Redemption, The Wolf, Love Lasts Two Minds, Love in Between and so on, it was a banner year!

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Legend of Fei - what a waste of that cast; what a waste of our finite time on this Earth. What a waste of my intelligence to hope for something better and stick with it for a dozen eps. I have had stale wonderbread that had more personality than this drama.There is absolutely nothing that stands out about this drama in any way,  from half-dimensional characters, to actors who are sleepwalking, to a plot that moves at the speed of an arthritic snail, to uninspired cinematography and direction, to lack of any chemistry between anyone in the cast. If paint-by-numbers was done by a group of particularly linear robots, it might come across the same way as this drama.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

The Wolf - honestly, I did not expect it to come out AT ALL EVER let alone to become my favorite drama of 2020. I was not familiar with the leading man (hahah), I liked Li Qin but wasn’t yet obsessed with her, and Xiao Zhan was excellent in The Untamed but I was hardly going to follow him from drama to drama (and I don’t do SLS any way.) And the trailer was enjoyable but unlike seemingly everyone, I didn’t think it was going to be some epic masterpiece. And then it came out and while it wasn’t objectively an epic masterpiece, it pulled out all the favorite tropes, shippy and narrative kinks from the deepest darkest recesses of my id. And I fell harder than I have in years. 

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

Novoland Eagle Flag and Joy of Life - they are in my Top 10 dramas from anywhere now. They are quite different except being smart and giving me protagonists to obsess over.

ETA: Also The Untamed because @idlewilds3 pointed out I actually watched it in 2020 even though I didn’t think so because this hellyear has lasted about three decades.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

I am gonna limit it to dozen and leaving out ones that aren’t necesarily supposed to air next year (Joy of Life 2, Love in Flames of War, Novoland Princess from Plateau.)

Monarch Industry, Novoland Pearl Eclipse, Silk Washing Stream, Dream of Changan, Sword Snow Stride, Wu Xing Shi Jia, Ancient Love Poetry, Immortality, The Long Ballad, Mirror Twin Cities, The Imperial Age, Fall In Love

[evanstanhoney]

Drunk. //Badboy!Shawn

a/n: this has been in my drafts for well over a year lol i hope you guys like it. 

⚠️warnings: angst with some fluff if you squint 

pairing: badboy!shawn x reader

word count: 2.3k 

“Honey…” Shawn slurs into the phone and your heart nearly breaks. 

 Your heart stops at the sound of his voice. The last time you’d heard it, it was laced with venom saying words that cut through you like knives. 

 “Just leave.” 

 “I don’t want to see you.” 

 “I don’t want you here.” 

But now you could hear something else you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but it put you on edge. The thought crossed your mind to not say a word, in hopes that he’d hang up. Or maybe you’d hang up first and pretend you’d never gotten the call in the first place but you were never one to go with your gut, if you had you wouldn’t even be in the position you are in now. 

 “Shawn...” 

 “How  - what are you doing right now?” He mumbles into the phone. You hadn’t a clue how many drinks he’s had, but if he’s calling you then you know it must have been a rough night. 

 “Shawn where are you?” you asked. Why you were concerned, you couldn’t figure out, but the idea of him being in as bad of shape as he was wandering around or somewhere where he could get himself into trouble worried you.  

 “I’m- I’m home. But I miss you.” 

 “Shawn go to sleep.”

 “No. Not without you. I can’t without you, it’s too hard.” He whines petulantly.

 “Just - can you drink some water? Can you do that for me?” 

 “Can you come here?” 

 “Shawn I can’t.” 

 “Sure you can. You just don’t want to. Because I’m bad. I’m a bad person” 

 Of course, you want to go to him. You want to go to his place cuddle him up and nurse him back to sobriety, but it's a terrible idea for the both of you. The back and forth between you needed to stop, and since it seemed as though he was incapable of thinking of anyone other than himself you were going to have to be the one to their foot down. You couldn’t see him. If you did then you’d be dragged back into the cycle.  

 “You’re not bad Shawn.” 

 “Yes, I am. If I wasn’t then you’d be here right now. But you’re not.” there's a long silence between the two of you before you barely make out a whisper, “You’re so far away.” 

 “Shawn. You’re very drunk.” you sigh. You kept telling yourself that he didn’t mean it, no matter how much he was tugging at your heartstrings, none of it meant anything. He was drunk and for some reason thought that it was a good idea to call you but none of this meant anything. He wouldn’t even remember in the morning and he’d go back to pushing you away….until he wants you again. 

 “I am. I also miss you. Anything else you want to point out?” he hisses into the phone, and he immediately regrets it rushing with apologies, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, please don’t hang up. I didn’t mean that.” 

 “I’m not going to hang up.” You sigh rubbing at your temple. 

 Why were you still entertaining this? All you had to do was hit the little red button on your phone and he would go away. Just like he wanted. But here you are. 

 “I’m sorry for what I said.” He 

 “I know you are.” 

 “I mean it.” 

 “I know you do bub,” The nickname slips out, and you flinch and you tense up biting your lip. 

 There’s a long pause on the other end and for a moment you think he hung up until you hear him sigh into the phone, “Can you come over. Please.” he asks suddenly a little soberer. 

 You pull your phone away from your ear looking at the time, it’s late but it’s not terribly late, and no matter how much you wanted to pretend like he no longer had an effect on you, there was no point in lying to yourself. 

 “Yeah, okay.” 

 “Really?” He quips, voice a little lighter. 

 “Yeah. I’ll be over in twenty.” 

  …..…..

You’re standing on his doorstep for about a minute, reminding yourself that at any time you can leave. You could turn around get back in your car and go home and forget all about Shawn Mendes, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do you. Hesitantly you raise your fist up knocking on the door lightly hoping not to wake the rest of his roommates. There’s a little bit of clattering before Shawn’s clumsily opening the door for you, leaning against the frame with a dopey grin on his face. 

 “You’re here.” 

 “I told you I’d be didn’t I.,” you say giving him a sad smile. He was in bad shape. Hair a mess, eyes bloodshot, with dark circles underneath, and a fresh cut on his cheek. You raise your hand up, turning his head to the side to get a better look at the wound “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” 

 You take his hand, and he follows behind you as you make your way to his bedroom. You set him down on his bed, and he plops down his hands going straight to your waist pulling you in close as you stand in between his legs. You run your fingers through his hair, and he leans into your touch letting out a contented sigh. “I’ll be right back,” you say pulling yourself away from him. 

 You head into the bathroom, rummaging through his bathroom cabinet trying to find the supplies needed to clean up his face, and you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.  You didn’t look much better than him, your hair just as a mess, eyes just as bloodshot, and the same pained look behind your eyes. 

 What were you doing? What is it about this boy that’s got you running to him at all hours of the night to take care of him? Didn’t you deserve better than this? 

 You come back into the room and see him laying down on the bed. 

 “Up for a second, please,” you say tapping his knee. He lets out a little groan but follows your instructions, “It’s going to sting a little.” you warn beginning to clean him up. Any other night you would have asked him what he’d gotten himself into, who he’d pissed off but it would probably only end with a fight, so you didn’t. 

“Thank you,” he whispers to you, and you just nod your head knawing at your lip. “I really am sorry.” 

 “You don’t have to apologize. Let’s just get you in bed, yeah?”  you reply, almost robotically. This is your routine, you’ve done it all before. The drunken apologies and you just have to smile and nod and wait for him to sober up, just for him to be his normal emotionally unavailable self in the morning. 

 You lean down and help him take off his boots and once you do he stands stipping down to his boxers, and it's not that it’s something you haven't seen before, but now it felt like an invasion of privacy. Like you’ve lost the right to see one other in such away. You catch yourself staring and decide it’s time for some hangover prep. So you go down to the kitchen, getting a glass of water and some crackers, and finding some pain killers to set next to his bed. 

 “You’re all set. I think I should go.” 

 “No,” He complains from where he’s layed in bed, “stay with me.” 

 “I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Shawn.” 

 “I know it’s not, and I know I don’t deserve it. But please stay.” He asks suddenly a lot more sober than he’d been since you walked in. And it’s embarrassing just how easy it was for you to change your mind. 

 “Okay.” 

 He pulls his covers to the side, allowing you to scoot in next to him. You lay back against the pillows, and Shawn is quick to take comfort in you, laying his head on your chest. It throws you off how comfortable he is wrapping himself around you, and you hesitate for a movement before you sink into the pillows wrapping your arms around him in return.  

…..…..

The sun peaking through the blinds is what wakes you the next morning. You had almost forgotten where you were as if the events of the night before never happened. But soon the familiar scent of Shawn’s cologne filled your senses and there was no denying where you were. Your stomach did somersaults at the realization, but as you turned over finding Shawn's side of the bed empty you started the think of an escape plan. But as you went through it all in your head, something came over you and decided not to run. Running is what’s gotten you in this situation in the first place. You needed to face him, to deal with whatever mess is to come. 

So you got yourself relatively presentable and made your way out of the bedroom to find Shawn’s shirtless back to you over the stove. You take a seat at the island and he doesn’t seem to notice you, too focused on what he’s doing so you awkwardly cleared your throat hoping that it’d do the trick, and it does. 

“Morning,” he says with a small smile, before turning back around plating a pancake. 

“Good morning.”

“I figured I’d make you breakfast. As a thank you, I don’t remember much about last night but, um….I feel like an apology is in order.” 

“Shawn- no it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry you came all the way over here. And you definitely didn’t need to spend the night so - thanks.” 

“It’s no big deal Shawn really.” He doesn’t argue with you anymore, just gives you a sad smile, and shakes his head fondly. “What?” 

“You’re just always so self-less. I will never understand you.” 

“I’m not self-less.” you scoff shaking your head. 

“Yes you are,” he says firmly. “The last time I saw you….” 

“We don’t have to talk about it.” 

“Yes, we do. Because the last time we spoke I said some awful, vile things.” 

“Shawn really it’s -” 

“No! No it’s not fine.” he snaps, before letting out a deep breath, “Why do you do that? Why do you keep making excuses for me?” 

“I don’t - I don’t know.” 

“I was awful to you. I said awful things and then I call you, blackout drunk and you come over. Not only that, but you spend the night when I ask, and you want to tell me that you’re selfless.” 

“I just don’t want you to hurt Shawn that’s all.” 

“Even after everything, I put you through.” 

“Yeah. Even after everything. I wish I didn’t care so much, believe me, my life would be much easier, but I can’t help it.” 

He looks at you with sad eyes and sets a plate down in front of you with pancakes and some bacon. He comes around the counter and takes a seat next to you, 

“You’re not eating?” you ask 

“Nah, I’m not hungry. Just wanted to do something for you,” he says through a sad smile. “Go ahead, eat.” he encourages, and you pick up your fork and dig in.  

You eat in relative silence for a few moments unsure of what to say next. In all your time together, whatever your relationship was, Shawn seldom did anything like this for you. He would do things for you sure, but they always ended up leading to him asking for a favor, and it always felt like he was making a deal rather than trying to do something nice. So you sat and waited for the other shoe to drop, for him to say something to ruin the nice gesture. 

But it doesn’t come. He lets you finish your food in peace, and then when you finish, he cleans up for you. 

“I should probably get going.”

There was a flash of disappointment on Shawn’s face but he knew better. He knew what this was for you and he knew he’d be stupid to think that you’d see it anything other than a mistake. 

“Yeah- yeah. Of course.”

You go to collect your things that you’d haphazardly dropped onto the small living room couch the night before, but Shawn stops you. 

“Actually, wait.” you look up at him and it’s like the first time you ever were together alone all over again. You were nervous, heart pounding in your chest butterflies in your stomach. You wanted to run, but you also needed to hear what he had to say. “I don’t want you to go.”

“Shawn.” 

“Not without you hearing this. I just - I want to fix this. I know I don’t deserve it. I know that I’m a piece of shit and I put you through hell-”

“You did.” 

“Yeah. I did. And words can’t describe how sorry I am for it. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t.” 

“No, you can’t.” 

“But,” he takes a step closer to you taking your hands in his and your heart rate picks up, “I can do everything I can to make it up to you.” He says quietly, “If you let me. Please.” 

Everything in you is screaming ‘NO!’. But the heart wants what the heart wants, or so they say. 

“Okay.” 

Shawns eyes lit up, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had to have been dreaming. Everything he’s ever wanted, a second chance with you, was just granted just like that? It couldn’t be. “Okay?” 

“Yeah. You can make it up to me. But Shawn, you fuck up and I’m gone.” 

“Yes. I - okay. I won’t fuck up. I promise. “ 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.". 

 shawn masterlist // chris evans masterlist // tell me what you think? // requests? // wattpad // ao3

[sckyie]

song: where were you in the morning? by shawn mendes

word count: 1.2k

genre + warnings: friends to lovers kinda; swearing, established friendship, morning after, suggestive [ no smut ], also DONT HAVE DRUNK SEX.

pronouns used: female insert (she/her)

a/n: first part of the haikyuu song series :)

Your cheek were warm as you entered Sakusa's apartment. If it weren't for the alcohol in both of your systems, he wouldn't let you near him. You held his hand as you followed him into his bedroom. Sakusa closed the door behind you, pinning you against the wall. "I wanna get to know you better," He says. You feel his warm breathe against you before he crashes his lips into yours. "Are you okay with that?"

"Yes," You smiled as he trailed his hand to your back. Both your lips, moving in sync as you made your way to his bed. His hand began to roam your body as you landed on the sheets. "Omi are you sure?"

"Definitely," He says as his mouth connected with your neck.

After the two of you finish, you two laid beside each other on the bed. The room was warm from your heat and all you could do was admire Sakusa beside you. He reached over and combed your hair. "I was drunk when we started but," He sighed. "I'm not anymore."

"You're so pretty," As you were still a little tipsy, you smiled at his touch. "I thought you didn't like germs."

"I hate germs but...something about you, I'm okay with," He smiled. "I trust you."

"Hehe, you like me," You giggled. Sakusa rolled his eyes as he pulls you closer to him. You lay on his chest, drawing shapes on his naked body. "Does this mean we can have breakfast together?"

"Do you want to?" He chuckled at your drowsy proposal.

"Yeah," You yawned. "We can make pancakes, eggs, bacon.."

"Don't get my hopes up," Kiyoomi chuckled. "Do you work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I work every morning," You groaned. "I wish I could stay here forever."

Kiyoomi laughed at your tipsy antics and began to comb your hair with his fingers. The night continued with your pillow talk, mostly making bold statements. Sakusa found your post-sex talk rewarding. He could tell he made you happy and you made him feel over the moon.

"You know I've never felt this- this- amazing with person in so long," You smiled. "Thank you Omi."

"Glad to be the one who made you feel this way," He chuckled.

"Thank you," You say. Your voice began to drift as you slowly fell asleep in his arms.

It was an odd feeling for Kiyoomi. He never let anyone touch him, not even his teammates. Having someone so close and so intimate with him was strange to him. He looks down at your naked body, pulling the blanket to cover you up. "Goodnight," He smiled. He kisses your forehead before falling asleep.

The sun began to rise hours later, the light shining through the blinds. You awaken to see the glistening lights hit your eyes. As your eyes fluttered open, you noticed yourself naked in a different bed. You looked over to see Sakusa's back facing you.

Your cheeks flushed red and you pulled the blanket up to cover your torso. You looked around to find your dress and undergarments on the floor. You quietly slipped out of bed and into the bathroom, grabbing your clothes on the way.

You examine your body, noticing the red marks littered along your chest and sides. You hide your face at the sight before quickly getting dressed. Quietly, you exit the bathroom to see Sakusa still deep asleep. "Sorry Omi," You say. You carefully leave the bedroom to head home.

"Shit, we took an uber home," You realized at the doorstep. "Fuck."

You ended up calling Hinata to pick you up and drop you off. You explained to him your mistake and how you hooked up with Sakusa. Hinata was shocked that he even let you touch him.

While you were on your way home, Sakusa was just waking up to an empty bed. He pinches his nose as he realized that you had left him alone. "She really left?" He grumbled. Sakusa dreaded getting up from bed but proceeded regardless.

As he entered the bathroom, he noticed something on the floor. It must've fell out your jacket because why would you leave your work ID card? He picked it up before turning on the shower.

Sakusa after his shower, he felt a pain on his back. He turned in the mirror to see scratches all over. He grazed the marks with his finger tips, wincing at the sore feeling. "Damn," He muttered. His phone began to ring from his bedside table.

"Hello? Omi-kun?" Atsumu answered.

"What do you want?"

"Oh just wanted to see how you were doing. You and Y/n were very drunk."

"I'm fine, I don't know about her. Thanks for checking in."

"You sound disappointed, everythin' okay?"

"Yeah, she just left me in the morning alone."

"Wait what?!" Atsumu exclaimed. "Did you two-"

"Yes, 'Sumu. We did," Kiyoomi rolled his eyes as he spoke.

"Oh my god- wait she ditched you? Was it bad?"

"No..." He began to think about last night. "It was more than just good actually."

"Oh, damn. Well, what are yer going to do now?"

"I'm going to her work to talk to her, and give back her ID card. I'll see you at practice later."

"Okay Omi! See you soon," Atsumu ends the call, leaving Sakusa to get ready to leave.

You had gotten ready for work after a long shower. You dragged your feet out the house and into your car to drive to work. It was a quiet ride on the way to the office and all you could think of was last night.

It wasn't that you regretted it, last night was amazing. The connection between you and Sakusa grew stronger yet you were too afraid to face him. Once you arrived at your work, you noticed a familar masked figure waiting for you out front. Your cheeks flushed red as you approached the entrance.

"What are you doing here?" You ask, avoiding eye contact.

"This," He flashes your work ID card.

"Oh, thanks," You reach out for the card but he holds it above his head.

"Where were you in the morning?" He asks. "You left me without a warning. Did I do something?"

"I-" You stopped and felt him bring your chin up with his fingers. "I was scared. Even now I am.."

"Why?" He pulled his hand away.

"You never touch anyone and I don't know if you meant what you said last night," You explained. "I was scared that you'd be freaked with me next to you. So if I left first.."

"You didn't have to face me," He finished your sentence. Sakusa hands you your ID card as he pulls off his mask. He brings his face close to yours before speaking. "I meant what I said."

"Oh, I-" You were cut off by Sakusa pressing his lips against yours. "I'm sorry Omi...for leaving."

"Make it up to me later today then," He stands up straight and adjusted his mask. "After practice, come to my apartment again. You owe me a meal."

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @d0llpie @elianetsantana

[mendesblurb]

WHERE IS THE LOVE

Shawn Mendes x female reader

Warning: fluff, maybe grammar error and maybe some punctuation errors and maybe typos

GIF Credits to owner and maker @tannerandthesociety-backup

It felt like it was just yesterday when you were a new transfer student entering a high school in Toronto.

You were forced to relocate to another country because your dad was offered a promotion at work. You were so happy when he conveyed the news even though you were a little sad that you had to move to another country.

First day of school was tough as nobody wanted to get to know the new kid. You were about to give up when a group of guys asked whether they could sit with you during lunch.

Because you were lonely and desperate for friends you said yes. Those guys were Shawn,Brian and Connor. Soon the four of you became inseparable, you see the thing is for other people at the school they were the three weirdos and now you were their newest member.

The three of you were there from the beginning of Shawn's music career. You were there when his vine blew up and you were all so proud when stitches went trending.

Fast forward to now, you are currently on a summer break from university and what better way to spend your break than joining your best friend’s world tour.

Today you were off to the land of the rising sun aka Japan. As soon as you reach your seat, all you want you to do is take a nap. But unfortunately that was just impossible as you were sitting in next to Brian and Connor.

“Guys please let me sleep.” You whinnied

“Nope, Y/N you're so busy with boring University assignments and now we can finally catch up with each other .” Brian said

“Hey Y/N, what’s stopping you two?” Connor asked

“What do you mean?” You said in lazy tone and eyes still closed

“Let me rephrase it for you my dear, do you or do you not still have feelings for Shawn?” Connor said cheekily

You opened your eyes immediately and said, “Connor wtf?” You said while elbowing him

“Owww, but seriously that sounds like a yes to me, right Brian?” Connor said

“Uhm without a doubt.” Brian nod his head

“Look Y/N, all I’m saying is It will be a dream come true if you and Shawn finally decide to take your friendship to the next level.” Connor said

“What are you trying to say Con, stop giving me riddles.” You whined

“All I’m saying is I know our Shawnie like you too and I have a plan to make him confess his feelings to you.” Connor said

“Whatever brilliant plan you think you have, I don’t want to know because whatever feelings I have towards him will just ruin our friendship.” You replied

“Cmon Y/N, please!” He said while giving you his puppy eyes

“I just don’t want to ruin our friendship, Con.” you said

“I pinky promise, your friendship won’t be ruined.” He said

“Fine, tell me your so-called amazing plan” you replied

“Brian, will you do the honours of explaining the plan to this amazing lady here.” Connor said

“ it would be my pleasure.” He said while giggling

The next few hours flew by and soon you were arriving at theHaneda Airport. Upon arriving the four of you and all the crew rushed to the hotel.

————The next morning———————————-

“Good morning Y/N and Con.” Shawn said in a clearly still sleepy face

Shawn was sleepy but not blind as he saw his 2 best friends standing rather close to each other. Connor’s hand was wrapped around your waist and his face was buried in your neck.

“Oh hey Shawn, didn’t see you there.” You said and immediately you turned your attention back to Connor and he whispered to your ear,”pretend I said something funny and you loved it.” In response you just giggled and Completely ignored Shawn.

Shawn felt annoyed and decided to go and find Brian. After spotting Brian, Shawn decided to approach his table.

Shawn plopped on the seat next to

Brian, resting his head in one of his hands while the other aggressively stabbed the watermelon in his bowl with a fork.

“Dude, don’t blame the watermelon when you have a jetlag!” Brian said

"I am not jetlag" Shawn mumbled through gritted teeth and annoyed expression, lifting his eyes to look at you again, gripping the fork tighter when he saw who you were with.

Brian followed his friend's eyes, and he was crossing his fingers and hoping his plan worked when his eyes landed on you. But for now he just sighed and put his hand on Shawn’s shoulder, to somehow give him support over the image of his two best friends acting all flirty toward one another.

You made your way through the hotel restaurant to find Brian’s table while holding Connor’s hand. This was part of the whole plan, you and Connor had to act all flirty with each other during breakfast.

Hey guys" You playfully greeted, reaching the table, a big smile on your face as you sat across from them.

Before Connor could sit down next yo you, he got a phone call from Andrew saying that he needs to finish editing the video now so he excused himself and went back to his room.

"Hi Y/n" Brian happily replied, lightly nudging Shawn’s elbow when he didn't say anything.

Your smile instantly replaced by a frown, when you noticed Shawn was just focused on his watermelon , avoiding your gaze. By now you wonder, whether the plan actually worked because the last thing you want is to ruin your friendship.

"So how did you guys sleep?" You awkwardly asked, focusing your curious eyes on Brian, waiting for him to tell you what was going on with Shawn.

“Uh ... not much but managed to get 6 hours" Brian said. "So, when did you get all lovey dovey with Connor?" He asked to take the attention away from Shawn, but he mentally he knew that's probably the last thing Shawn wants to hear right now.

"Oh last night Connor confessed his feelings and I said I felt the same" You smiled back again, meanwhile Shawn just choked at his glass of milk.

By now Shawn was coughing and you quickly asked, “ Shawn you okay, here have my water.”

“I’m good Y/N, thanks.” Shawn replied but still avoiding your meet your eye

“He confessed his feelings and now you guys are showing all the PDA" He teased in a mocking tone making you frown for the second time, because it wasn't a sarcastic mocking tone, it was a mean mocking tone.

"I mean he is proud to say that He has feelings for me and now he just wants other people to know about our love too so I will say it’s a sweet gesture he likes and I really enjoy it too" You defended yourself, and Shawn just chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure that's just a rebound,I mean we're talking about Connor, He makes everyone think he has moved on from his ex and Y/n, I'm sure he just wants to have a tour fling to show his ex." Shawn proudly said

"So you're saying I'm just some fling for him?" You asked, ignoring the way your heart ached from Shawn who was thinking so low of your other best friend.

"What I'm saying is the guy still constantly talks about his ex , so my advice is you shouldn't be that excited about your new relationship status because he'll just end up going back to his ex.” He stated while obviously still clouded by jealousy.

"Seriously why can’t you be happy that I end up with Connor, Mendes" You painfully said, before getting up from the table and leaving your bowl of cereal behind and you went back to your room.

Jealousy could trigger many things and you certainly didn’t expect Shawn would say that about Connor.

“Mendes, when was the last time she called you that?” Brian said

Mendes, you only call him that whenever you are upset with him. And now he realised that he too was blinded by the jealousy that he didn’t monitor all the words coming out of his mouth.

“ You know what I still can’t believe, I am still surprised that a guy like you could write so many songs but can never truly say anything to the person who inspired all the songs.” Brian shook his head in disapproval and left Shawn all alone at the hotel restaurant.

…………………….Later at rehearsal…………………..

Part B of the plan was for you and Connor to arrive together at the rehearsal but also you need to arrive a little late to build some type of tension, at least this theory was stated by Brian.

“Okay everyone let’s take 5, before we start.” Shawn said to the band, “Brian where‘s Y/N?” He asked

“I don’t know probably, with Connor.” Brian replied

After rehearsing for 2 songs you finally arrived at the venue with Connor.

Usually during all rehearsals or concerts you will give your full attention to Shawn and after every song you would give him a thumbs up and clap for him.

Today however it was different as he looked across the stage he saw you sitting in Connor’s lap and giggling at his cheesy jokes.

Shawn felt heartbroken when he saw you, his girl, well not exactly, his girl that isn't his but is his ... the girl he loved forever... anyway, when he saw you laugh with someone that wasn't him his heart instantly dropped.

Especially when that someone was Connor Brashier, I mean he knew that Connor was aware of his feelings toward you and he didn’t expect this type of betrayal from Connor of all people.

———- The day of the concert——————————

Today was the big day, usually Shawn felt excited because he was about to meet all his fans but today he couldn’t concentrate, he kept thinking whether things could turn out differently if he confessed his feelings sooner. Would you feel the same? One thing for sure is he would be on cloud nine if you felt the same way he did.

“Shawn, you ready?” Andrew asked

“Yeah, yeah sure.” He said clearly distracted

“Hey.” You said entering the dressing room

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” Shawn asked

“Am I not allowed to wish my best friend a goodluck?” You asked.

“Whatever Y/N just go and be with Connor.” He said

“Look Shawn I think there’s something you should know.”

“Look Y/N, I need to focus on rehearsing my lyrics so please don’t distract me.”

“Shawn I’m sorry if I ever was a distraction, I’ll be outside if you need me.” You said trying to hold back your tears

“Y/N wait! I’m sorry I didn’t mean that it’s just you’re a distraction because dammit I am in love with you and I understand that you’re with Connor now and I just think you should know how I feel about you .” He said

“Shawn I’m not with Connor, I mean the whole thing was them trying to prove to me that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way towards you… the truth is I have loved you since high school if I’m being honest.” You confessed

The next few minutes was a blur as Shawn got up from his seat to kiss you…. what you didn’t know was that the dressing room door was open and Connor and Brian were standing there.

Seeing that Brian grabbed the door handle and closed the door.

Standing at the side stage, Connor happily said, “we did it bro.”

“Damn right we did.” Brian sighed happily and they fist bumped each other.

@itsalwaysbeen305

[luciadiosa]

It's always you: Rembrandt

Here you go! I got home after training and got on my couch and of course I distracted myself with instagramm and youtube.

Let me now if you like it.

And oh: @cary-elwes do you have gifs of the scenes with him and Rembrandt at the end and the scene where they found the paintings?

The gif search makes me crazy. :)

Part 3.4

The sun blinded you briefly as you slowly open your eyes. Pierre is sitting next to you, one hand on your thigh, looking at Shawn. Who hits something?

However, when he realizes that you have woken up, he looks at you.

"Are we all dead now?" You are not really awake yet. Pierre laughs softly and melodically.

"No. Nobody is dead. I'm sorry, I had to mislead everyone. Even you, my darling.", He whispered to you and you see what Shawn hit with a hammer.

When Pierre leans forward to kiss your face, you get up quickly and point to the stone: “Shawn, this is a crypt! You desecrate that ... ", you speak loud, but are interrupted by Shawn:

“Y/N. It’s not. We got into the crypt. It's a cover. The ashes were in a secret hiding place.” With another blow, more of the wall breaks and Pierre gets up. Soon the paintings were uncovered, and no one seemed to be enthusiastic about them.

“Maybe it's a Thomas Kingkade,” Shawn mentions. You look at him.

“Thomas Kingkade paintings are irrelevant according to the art scene. They are too cheesy.", You mention." Oh, I don't think so. They are beautiful. "Your cousin waves it away.

“He paints puzzles. They may look romantic and some are a fantasy realm, but they're very commercial.”, you remind him.

"Not everyone can have a Gustav Klimt hanging in their room.", Gus remarks to you in a annoyed tone.

“Are you jealous? Maybe you could ask Pierre to obtain you one. Or should I ask him for you?” you reply.

“No! I don’t want stolen art.”

“I bought it.” – “He bought it!” Shawn and Pierre threw in at the same time and look to Gus.

“Fine. Once in a lifetime he bought art. I don’t want to be involved in any of this.” Gus snorts quietly and suggests that Shawn should adopt other artist names.

You have to smile and look at the pictures that Pierre is looking through.

“Everyone starts small. They look better than my still life’s of fruit,” you admit. But only Pierre and Gus didn't seem to like it. It wasn't long before the sirens could be heard and the party broke up.

Later you stand behind Pierre. He looks at the painting. “So, you knew there is a Rembrandt.” You speak.

“Indeed. I cannot believe he draw his own paintings on a real Rembrandt.”

Pierre shook his head. Then turn around to you.

He lays his Hand on your hips and pull you closer. His eyes catch the shine of the watch on your wrist.

“I was wondering where it is.” He takes your hand and looks at the watch.

“Do you want it back? I took it after I heard you died…I wanted something to remind me of you.”

Pierre kneaded your finger with his. “No. Keep it. I guess we haven’t many moments together. After all I am a art thief and I am wanted as soon as they believe me alive. It should remind you that you are important to me.”

You smile at him. “Please don’t do this to me anymore. I mean dying. And I guess you have to be faithful now. No more other women or men.”

“I guess I will survive this advancement.” He pulls you down in a kiss.

Next Part:

Sason 8: Lock, Stock, Some Smoking Barrels and Burton Guster‘s Goblet of Fire

Chapter 1: Royce Cornwalles Staley (Part 4.1)

Taglist <3:

@academia-aesthetics-blog

[lonelyreputation]

Screaming Color (Soulmate AU) Part ONE  Shawn Mendes Writing Circle

A/N: Massive massive thank you to @saysweartogod-og for orchestrating this #ShawnMendesWritingCircle!! 🥳 I’m so excited to be part of this and see where this story goes as a different Shawnblr author will be continuing it!

This is my twist on the classic Soulmate AU trope! 💫🎨💗 Make sure to check out all of the other SMWC stories! And as always, let me know your thoughts! I’d love to hear any form of feed back!! 

Thanks a million million for all your support!! It really means the world to me! Love you all lots! 🥰💫💞✨🥺

Warnings: none !

WC: 2.8K

“Don’t worry, Y/n it’s…normal.”

You slumped back against the wicker chair and crossed your arms over your chest, “I’m nearly twenty-two, I shouldn’t be this late of a bloomer.”  

You were sitting on a patio of a restaurant eating brunch with your friend, Charlotte, who wanted to try this spot from all the pictures she’d seen of the flowers.  When you first walked in, Charlotte let out a gasp as she clutched your wrist, looking around with awe vividly describing everything her eyes traced over.  

How you walked under an archway of sunflowers and daffodils––They’re bright yellow, but get a bit orange toward the middle––when you first entered the restaurant.  The wisteria, a lavender color––That’s purple––peaked through the holes of the oak cross hatched fence with vines––They’re green––that were intertwined in knots.  And when you two were walking to your table, Charlotte couldn’t get over the hydrangeas hanging in terracotta pots from the ceiling––It’s like a mix of lilac and pale blue, but more on the blue side.

It’s so beautiful, Y/n, I wish you could see color.

Color.

In this wonderful surreal world you lived in, a person could only see in various shades of black, grey, and white until they locked eyes with their soulmate.  It was a bit bizarre when your parents had the talk with you at seven-years-old. They tried explaining how you just saw a monotone of gray colors, but when you looked into the eyes of your soulmate, your world would be filled with color.  

You have to make direct eye contact with them, your mom emphasized, you both have to look into each other’s eyes.

If you catch a glimpse of them, your dad added in, you might be able to see a glimpse of color but it’ll go away if you don’t make eye contact with them.

You thought that was a load of bologna, but when you were ten and someone asked why you were wearing green pants with a purple shirt…You thought that your parents might be onto something.  And when you got older, and more of your friends started to see color, it became obvious that you hadn’t looked into the eyes of your soulmate yet.

Charlotte was twenty-three and had been able to see color since she turned sixteen when her soulmate spilled ice-cream on her in the park.  And ever since then, she had tried to describe different colors to you whenever she saw something intriguing.  It didn’t help very much, considering all you saw was various tones of grays and blacks, but you didn’t want to hurt her feelings and tell her she wasn’t helping.

Once you successfully steered the conversation away from soulmates, brunch was an enjoyable meal.  You laughed, gossiped about the people at your internship, and ate your meal with only the occasional mention of color from Charlotte.  But when your dishes were cleaned off, and the bill was split in half, you hugged her goodbye and told her you would see her in the office on Monday.

You were walking on the sidewalk to get to your parallel parked car when you felt someone slightly bump into you.  It didn’t throw you off your feet, so you didn’t think much of it, but you were still curious as to who brushed passed you.  You twisted your head over your shoulder to see the back of someone’s curly hair.  

You didn’t think much of it so you turned your head forward and continued to walk.  But there was a moment when you looked up at the sky that you were blinded by the brightness of the sun, blinded by a sharp light that didn’t look like the typical gray you saw.

For a second you thought you saw the color yellow.

///

The morning rain was not something you were expecting on the walk to your internship carrying six cups of coffee.  Luckily you were only two blocks away from the radio station when it started, but you were able to scan your access card and pushed open the front glass doors, with your hair wet and matted to your head, before the sky opened up and poured rain.

You smiled at the receptionist, took the elevator up to the third floor, and weaved your way through the office until you got to where your internship supervisor, and the rest of the digital team, were located.

“Did you hear?” A very peppy Charlotte ran up to you as you were checking the names of the coffee cups before placing them down on the appropriate desks, ”Shawn Mendes is gonna be here today.”

She gripped your wrist in excitement which, unfortunately, caused some coffee to spill out from the lid and onto your hand.  

You hissed at the hot liquid and broke her hold from your wrist to shake away the burning sensation, “His songs are cool.”

Charlotte pulled a tissue out from the box on a desk and handed it over to you, “Word on the street is that he can see color now.”

“That’s nice,” you said with little interest as you tried to dry your hands with the thin material.

“You’re not––Aren’t you just dying to know who brought color into his life?”

“I mean, only a little?” You said over your shoulder as you placed the last cup of coffee on your supervisor's desk and threw out the cardboard drink holders, “But I’d assume he’d want to keep that private.”

“He’s been seen around with some instagram travel influencer, but I hear she won’t let him take pictures of her because he sucks with the camera.”

It wasn’t an uncommon practice for people to have relationships before they met their soulmate, but whenever a celebrity was seen with someone, it always picked up the attention of everyone asking the question if they had met their soulmate or not.

You let out a little chuckle, “Well if they’re soulmates then she’s doing it out of love.”

Charlotte barked out a laugh and agreed, “I have to help Mindy finish her questions for the interview, but I’ll see you sometime after the segment!”

As she skipped off to help with prep questions for the interview, you walked into the tiny office where all of the interns sat.  And just like the chatter you heard all along your walk, the interns were only interested in the celebrity guest of the day.

“––Shawn Mendes––”

“––I’m going to try and look into his eyes to see if he’s my soulmate––”

“––Don’t even try, he’s with that Instagrammer––”

“––Doesn’t mean he sees color with her!”

You were sitting in your black rolling chair, trying to block out the gossip with your headphones, but it wasn’t working.  With a sigh, you spun your chair around, “Is it really that big of a deal who he sees color with?”

Everyone quieted down and looked over at you.  Their stares were burning into you and you slumped further down in the chair, “Like I totally get wanting to know––it’s really fun to talk about––but isn’t that a bit personal?”

“I’m assuming you don’t see color?”

“Not yet,” you sharply replied, not liking the tone in Amanda’s, the other intern, voice, “Do you see color?”

Her smile faltered, “No, that’s why I have to look into Shawn Mendes’s eyes.”

You looked at her with raised eyebrows, not quite believing how delusional she sounded, and didn’t think it was worthy of a response as you spun around in your chair to get back to your assignments.

A few hours went by of light chatter and completing some tasks before Amanda ran into the room, scrambling to get the radio together, “He’s here––I didn’t get to look in his eyes––but he’s here and the interview is in like two minutes.”

All five interns paused their work and rolled their chairs over to crowd around the radio.  You missed the intro where Mindy listed a few of Shawn’s recent accomplished chart listings, but it didn’t seem like she was holding back with anything as she dove right in with the pressing topics.

“So, Shawn.”

“Mindy,” Shawn mimicked the way she said his name with a laugh.

“A little birdy told me that someone has brought color into your life.”

There was a pause on the other end as everyone held their breaths awaiting his answer.

“Well––Not exactly,” Amanda let out a cheer and everyone shushed her, “I think I saw blue the other day? On Saturday?”

“So you saw something?” Mindy sounded too giddy as she was the first to get this inside scoop, “And you haven’t seen color before?” It was her way of subtly asking if the instagrammer he had been seen with was his soulmate.

“Never,” he was quick with his answer, “I only saw blue for a split second in the sky, but after that, it went back to gray.”

“How poetic,” Mindy swooned, “Bet you can turn that into a song.”

“I might already have a voice note and a few lyrics down.”

You were more intrigued with Shawn Mendes than you were ever before.  He had seen a color––blue––the same day you saw yellow; just a glimpse of it before it turned back to gray.  He had the same experience.  And while Toronto was a big city, it seemed a little too coincidental that you both saw color for a split second on the same day.

“Okay we’re gonna take a quick break, and when we come back, Shawn will answer some rapid fire questions.”  Mindy signed off and the radio transitioned into commercial.  

There was a second of silence where all the interns looked at each other before everyone spoke over each other.

“So he’s seen blue––”

“––She’s obviously not his soulmate––”

“––But that means that he’s at least seen whoever his soulmate is from a distance or something or else he wouldn’t have been able to see blue––”

“Y/n!” Your internship supervisor peaked her head into the intern room with a smile, “Would you mind picking up a lunch order? Our hands are a bit tied with Shawn still being on air––Feel free to order whatever you want and put it on the company card.”

You pushed back your chair, happy to have an excuse to leave the gossip circle, “Of course,” you said as you picked up your phone and walked out of the room.

“You’re the best intern,” your supervisor handed you over the company card, “Promise this won’t happen again, you’re such a help and more equipped for actual work.”

Thanking her for her kind words, you decided to take your time walking to the sandwich shop down the street.  It took both hands to push the heavy front glass doors open and you looked up to see it was still raining, but only a drizzle.  Maybe you wouldn’t be taking your time walking to the sandwich shop after all.  

You quickly walked down the street and into the shop, ordering yourself a sandwich.  Once your sandwich was made, they added it to the order, and you handed over the company card.  You gripped the handles of the large brown bag and shouted a thanks over your shoulder as you hurried out the door.

The sun was shining, the pavement smelled of fresh rain, and to your surprise, the rain had stopped.  A small smile graced your lips as you were now able to take your time walking back to the office.  When the building where the radio station was headquartered came into view, you were surprised to see a fairly large group of teenage girls waiting outside on the sidewalk.

You politely weaved your way through the crowd, whispering a soft excuse me and a pardon me, I work here and need to get through.  But then, all at once, everyone surged forward and started to scream.  Between fighting your way through the crowd, and the excessive pushing of the girls, you finally managed to break free.

You breathed out a breath of fresh air when you escaped the crowd, but someone walked into your shoulder hard and caused you to stumble back a bit.  A little bit ticked off with how rough they were, you whirled around.

“I’m so sorry––”

But once your eyes connected, his words abruptly stopped and you dropped the bag of sandwiches and salads.  Both of you were paralyzed, staring at each other with wide eyes, and that’s when you knew that he saw it too.

The yellow of the sun was familiar; a warmth of bright light shining down on you.  The sky––as you heard him describe earlier as blue––seemed so soft with a light wispy streak of peach coloring through the thin white clouds.  The buildings were tall, shades of gray you were familiar with, but there was more of a depth to them as you could see the color inside through the windows.

And then you really saw him.

His facial features were sharp, but the rosiness of his cheeks softened up his face.  Even the concentrated creases in his forehead had a color that was darker than his slightly tanned skin tone.  His lips were pink, slightly parted in shock, just like how you probably looked.  You trailed your eyes up to his hair, a lone curl dangling from his hair onto his forehead.  

A lot of people have brown hair, you remember being eight and holding your mom's hand walking down the street as she tried to teach you colors without having the ability to see color, you can have different shades of brown; dark to the point where it almost looks black, or as light as a gray shade.  

His hair was dark brown, but with the way the sun was shining down on him, his hair was highlighted with swirls of a lighter brown like toffee.  There was so much depth with the color of his hair, but then you really looked into his eyes––the two little windows into a person’s soul that granted you the gift of seeing the world in color––you knew exactly what your favorite color was.

His eyes were the same color as his hair, brown, but his eyes held more color than any of the curls of his hair.  They were littered with hazel flecks, a few wispy swooshes of golden honey,  and a few lines of dark chestnut radiating out from the blacks of his pupils.

You had heard Charlotte ramble on about how boring her brown eyes were and that she wished she had a more interesting coloring like either blue or green.  But with staring straight into brown eyes, and finally understanding her talk about eye color, you could not understand why she was so upset with her brown eyes.  

“Can you see––”

“Shawn, c’mon,” someone came over and yanked his shoulder back, “We have to go.”

He stumbled back a few feet as he brushed off a person wearing glasses, “I see––”

“Shawn, we have a really tight schedule.”

He kept his eyes locked on you as if he was scared that the color of his new world would disappear like the last time, “What’s your na––”

“Dude,” a boy with red-ish hair pulled him back by his elbow, “the fans are getting too rowdy we need to leave now.”

“My name is––”

Right as you were about to tell him your name, a tall muscular man dressed in all black stepped in between the two of you, cutting off your contact with Shawn.  You started panicking, the fear of losing your soulmate now that you’d found him caused a crippling fear deep inside you.  

You tried poking your head around the security guard, “Excuse me––”

“Sorry miss, he can’t take any pictures now.”

An aggravated sigh past through your lips, “I know, but he’s my––”

But you weren’t able to get another word out to the security guard explaining how Shawn was your soulmate because he, the boy with red hair, and the guy with glasses were all wrangling Shawn in the car despite him struggling and constantly looking over his shoulder at you.

Just like how instantly color came into your life when you looked into Shawn’s eyes, he was in the van and driving down the street just as fast.

And as you stood on the sidewalk, surrounded by fans screaming––Oh my God, that was really Shawn Mendes––with the bag of lunch still on the pavement, you were transfixed with the world of color that you were now surrounded by.

But you were left without the person who gifted you color.

taglist: @fallinallincurls @alina--jpeg @adelaidestreets @5-seconds-of-mendes @particularnarry @now-that-i-saw-u @turtoix @shawnsmutual @vinylmendes @mendesficsxbombay​ (send a message via inbox or PM if you want to me added!)

[wholesomemendes]

Morning Kisses

Summary: Shawn’s home from tour after 3 long months and the two of you decide to just stay in bed all morning.

Author’s Note: This gif I used is from a post by @yashalex​ and I’ll probably reblog the whole post after this because it was the inspiration for this whole entire fic. Anyways this is about 1.6k of pure fluff of things I want with Shawn so I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! As always, please tell me what you think, I love your feedback!

The bright Toronto sun streamed in through the large open windows of the bedroom, a result of the two of you being too caught up in the others’ presence last night to worry about closing the blinds. Shawn’s flight had arrived close to midnight and after he showered to get rid of the awful airport stench, the two of you headed straight to bed, wanting nothing more than to be able to just hold each other all night long. It had been a long 3 months apart and you were planning on making up for lost time at any chance you could before he had to leave again for the next leg of the tour in a couple of weeks. You missed him more than anything in the whole world and no call, text, or FaceTime could ever compare to having him by your side. He pulled you into his arms that night, humming some unknown melody quietly into your ear causing you to fall asleep soundly for the first time since he had left. When you finally awoke, head on his chest and legs intertwined, a small smile graced your face as a content sigh left your lips. His arms were wrapped tightly around you, fingers mindlessly tracing up and down your back, but the even breathing you felt through his chest was enough to tell you that he was still peacefully asleep.

It felt like heaven being so close to him after so long and you couldn’t help but breath in his scent that had slowly begun to fade from all of the clothes of his that you had stolen while he was gone. You were never one to be in love with fragrances until you met Shawn and while you couldn’t quite describe just what he smelled like, to you it always felt like home and love. Your head lifted with each breathe he took, chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. You took the opportunity to admire him as he slept, blinking your eyes open as you lifted your head slightly to see his relaxed face. Your hands traced his bare chest as you turned your body, never having a single complaint with his habit of sleeping with only sweatpants on so that you could trace his smooth skin when you awoke. You had always loved to gaze at him if you were the first to awake, outlining his beautiful face and chest before he began to stir. A sad smile fell on your lips as you stared at the sleep ridden boy and thought about how this was probably the first time in months that he had slept without worry, knowing how his anxiety and nerves got to him while he was on tour. Every time he came home he had new purple bags under his eyes, a telltale sign of his lack of sleep even if he tried to convince you he was fine. But he wasn’t fine. You wanted nothing more than to take the burden off of his shoulders and make his worries go away, a slight voice in your head always pleading to force him to take a break for his own health. But you stayed silent. You couldn’t ask him to stop the one thing he loved more than anything in the world, even if it meant you had to watch it slowly kill him from the inside out. It made you appreciate the moments when he was with you even more, loving the way the creased lines on his forehead would vanish slowly the more he was around. You cupped his face gently as to not wake him and stroked his cheeks gently with your thumb, giggling to yourself when he absentmindedly leaned into your hand in his sleep like a puppy wanting attention. Your fingers went up to brush through the mess of curls on his head that always seemed to be fluffier and curlier after he went to sleep, enjoying the softness of them between your fingers. Shawn had begun to grow his hair out on tour, much to the dismay of many of his fans, but you weren’t complaining. Not when it meant that there was more of his hair to play with when you gave him head massages, which just happened to be both one of yours and his favorite things to do while cuddling. You threaded your fingers through a particularly knotted section of curls, massaging his head a little to prevent any pain while you pulled your fingers out, earning a sigh that escaped his plump, pink lips.

You traced the outline of his face down to his sharp jawline before placing a soft kiss to his cheek, peppering light kisses down to his jaw and neck. You placed a final one on his collarbone, looking up at him through your lashes to see a content smile playing on his lips. Shawn let out a small groan, tightening his arm around you and turning the both of you on your side, earning a quiet squeal of surprise to leave your mouth. His eyes slowly opened so that you were staring into a pair of honey, brown eyes and a small smile tugged at his lips after seeing the most beautiful woman in front of him. “Morning, beautiful,” he whispered, a lovely rasp accompanying his morning voice as he brushed a piece of hair behind your ear, letting his fingers linger on the side of your face to rest on your shoulder. Twisting a piece of your hair between his fingers, he let his gaze fall back to your eyes, and he found himself lost for a moment, thoughts consumed with everything about you. 

You stared into his eyes, seeing nothing but love behind his gaze, “I missed you, rockstar.” 

“I missed you too, honey, more than you will ever know,” he whispered, bringing his finger to trace down the center of your nose, ending with a tap on your nose as a soft boop escaped his lips. You giggled at the man child in front of you and he took the opportunity to surge forward to meet your lips in a kiss the both of you smiled through. Shawn pulled back carefully, leaving his forehead resting on yours with a hand on your waist to pull your body even closer to his, “I don’t wanna ever leave you again.”

You sighed, rubbing your nose with his, “You say that every time, Shawn.”

“I know, but I mean it this time, I’m just gonna stay here with you forever. Just gonna cuddle you every day of my life.” He rolled you over so your back was pressed against his chest and he nuzzled his face into your shoulder, pressing soft butterfly kisses into his oversized tshirt that adorned your body. His eyes closed again with a smile on his face as his large frame encased your body, legs intertwined with yours as he pulled you tight to his chest. You let yourself live in the fantasy of being like this every morning, never having to worry about waking up to a cold bed, and you allowed your body to relax further into his. 

“I wish you were here every morning,” you confessed, “but you know I’d never ask you to do that.”

“I know,” he mumbled into your shoulder, “and you know I’d never ask you to quit your job to come tour with me.”

“It’s like the world is against us all the time. “

“Doesn’t matter what the world thinks, you’re the love of my life and I don’t care if the world wants to believe that or not.”

You blushed at his words, but you could feel the seriousness behind them, and you hated that you made his first morning home so somber, “No music is the love of your life, I’m just the girl that gets to kiss you sometimes.”

“Excuse me?” he asked, his face turning from worried to a feigned offense once he saw your teasing smile when you rolled to face him, “Haven’t you realized that I’ve given all of the love I have to you?”

“What love, I’m so unloved,” you tease, hand coming up to rest dramatically on your forehead, “Never been loved by anyone before, always second place.”

“Oh shut up,” he whined, turning away from you and stuffing his face into his pillow, “You don’t appreciate my love.”

You giggled at his stubbornness, knowing he was hiding a smile behind his hurt facade and scooching closer to his giant body in order to wrap your arm around his chest. “Was just kidding, bubs,” kissing his shoulder tenderly, you let your lips linger on his warm skin, “You know I love you.” Your lips moved to his cheek and he lifted his head to meet your lips, causing your heart to grow at the movements of your lover. 

Shawn rolled onto his back and pulled you down so your face was hovering over his, “I love you more than anything, baby.” You leaned down and planted your lips gently on his and he cradled the back of your head carefully. “More than the moon,” he mumbled between kisses, “The stars. And most definitely more than music.” He disconnected his lips from yours to stare into your eyes, a serious look behind his own. ‘You know I’d give it all up for you if you asked,” he told you, cradling your face in his large hands.

“I’d never ask you to,” you murmured, eyes dropping before meeting his again, “But I will be selfish and ask you to love on me while you’re here.”

“Now that’s something I can do easily,” he smiled, lips molding into yours in a passionate kiss as he promised to himself that he would do anything to have a thousand more mornings like this with you.