#shauna writes stuff

[her-canine-teeth]

Shauna's drunk. When she's drunk, she starts thinking (more than usual, that is).

Also, something's wrong.

Jackie dances in the middle of the floor. With Jeff.

Shauna is watching her from outside the mass of writhing bodies and feels horrible.

It's not that they're dancing now, as if nothing's ever happened, as if Jackie didn't cry just last night in Shauna's bed (only in the dark, silently, when she thought Shauna was sleeping. She wasn't.)

It's not even that Jackie is back together with him, even though he doesn't make her happy and Jackie knows that just as well as Shauna. Even though she keeps saying the opposite.

It's that Shauna cant stop thinking about it; that even if she forces her eyes to wander they still come back to Jackie every time, fixate on her like there's nothing else in the room.

It's that Shauna can't look anywhere but her, and that the music fades ever so slightly when she does (only for her. only ever for her.)

It's that she's dancing so closely with Jeff that they might as well be one, a single body. And it feels... wrong, just deeply, plainly wrong. It shouldn't be him.

It's that Shauna can't be happy for Jackie. It's that she's the worst best friend to ever exist.

She downs the rest of her drink, barely even tasting it.

Jackie, unaware, turns her face towards the ceiling, eyes closed. The light illuminating it turns blue.

It gives Jackie's skin an almost ethereal glow; she doesn't look real anymore, like her soul has left and all that's moving is just her body, a lifeless shell. She stills, for a second or forever - Shauna can't tell. But she's not moving anymore, and her skin turns lighter, white-ish.

Snow starts to fall. It's terribly cold.

Shauna flinches; the red solo cup crumbles beneath her grip. She feels bile rise in her throat.

It's not snow, of course it isnt; it's summer and they're inside. The spotlights are just throwing white flecks everywhere, like the ones behind Shauna's eyes when she closes them and tries to think of nothing (it never works). Jackie's moving again, blue again, with Jeff's hands all over her again.

It hits her, as sudden as a punch to the face: an overwhelming pain, something that can't be described as just 'sadness'. Something that runs so deep that not even death could expel her from feeling it.

It's still cold, impossibly so; goosebumps are covering her entire body and suddenly it's too light and too loud and too cramped and just too much and if she doesn't get out of here right the fuck now she's going to die.

The warm summer air outside and light breeze do make her feel better. There are less people out here, too; or at least Shauna can't see them. Doesn't care for them.

Everything is blurry. She's lost her cup somewhere on the way, but it doesn't matter; it was empty anyways.

Somebody - Nat? there's a shimmer of yellow, but to be honest Shauna would just like to close her eyes and lay on the ground until the earth consumes her, (out of protest against anyone who hinders her she refuses to open her eyes more than absolutely necessary) so she can't be sure - is tapping her shoulder and handing her a piece of bread, saying "for fuck sake, how much did you drink? Did you eat nothing all day or are that much of a lightweight?"

She did eat. Enough, even though she gave Jackie half of it. Well, 'gave' is relative; but she doesn't like to say she forced Jackie to eat. Doesn't think she could do that, force Jackie to do anything. Doesn't think anyone could. Not really.

But she really isn't feeling that great, and food does help more often than not, so she accepts it and watches the shimmer of blonde float away again.

She bites into the bread. It feels hard and cold and tastes salty and not at all like bread.

Shauna turns and throws up.

Somebody gathers her hair and holds it up, holds her up until she's slowly calming down. "Are you alright?" a voice asks.

Shauna looks up. It's Van, Van with her fiery red hair and a scar on her face. She blurs.

"Something's wrong." Shauna says.

"Yeah, obviously. You've had way too much, what the fuck is going on?"

"No, it's..." Shauna doesn't know how to explain. Can't explain, because how do you explain something you don't even know yourself? How do you say something you can't even think, that you don't know is true?

So she doesn't. Instead, she holds her hand out and traces Van's scar, red against white.

Blood on snow.

The skin is smooth.

Her fingertips are crawling. She feels like she did seconds (hours? How long did she lay here?) ago, when she was inside; too light and too loud and cramped. Only this time, it's not because of other people; this time, it's just herself, her own body who she wants (needs) to get rid of. There are feelings inside of her, feelings she can't contain nor express and they're building up (They've always been building up. They've always come close to being more than what she can handle. But today it feels inevitable.); there's an ocean inside of her, and it's gathering up into a wave so big it's impossible to perceive and it's gonna crash, it's gonna crash and crush her and she's gonna go down, go under and drown. She's tearing at the seams.

Van's looking at her, she realises, eyes wide and filled with an badly hidden emotion that Shauna knows intimately, can match to what's inside her, infesting her like a parasite. That sometimes overcomes her, makes her unable to move and makes her always keep Jackie halfway out (because she doesn't know what, but something's wrong with her. And if Jackie ever finds out it's going to be the end of them - the end of the only good thing Shauna has.

And she knows it's futile, knows she'll destroy it either way; by keeping Jackie out and by letting her in, but this way she can at least pretend.

She can pretend until it's too late, and then keep pretending; because deep down she knows Jackie won't ever leave her. She's imprinted in her skin, behind her eyelids, her brain; she's haunting her already, so why should that be different when she's dead?)

What she doesn't know is why Van is feeling that, why Van is even familiar with it, the bone-deep fear that infests everything she knows like a toxic gas - unable to keep out and killing everything around her.

But she's still looking at her, with the same wide eyes as minutes (seconds?) ago, her mouth slightly open.

She doesn't move, doesn't even blink - just like Shauna, who then becomes aware that she has a body too, that she is more than just a thousand thoughts and prayers and emotions, insecurity and rage, mixed up and dumped into a pocket of air. She becomes aware that her throat hurts, that there's a twig digging into her thigh, that her hand is still on Van's face, unmoving.

"Van?" a voice calls. Van flinches, and so does Shauna. She drops her hand (it lands on her lap, limp and unfeeling), and Van blinks rapidly as if to make up for all the time she didn't, and time starts moving again.

Being normal again.

Except that nothing is.

A hand lands on Van's shoulder, and this time only Shauna flinches. "Damn." Tai says. "Is she alright?"

YES, Shauna wants to say. She is alright. She is the alrightest she's ever been, so could everyone please just leave her alone? Thank you.

"I don't think so." Van says.

She's still looking at her, this time tinged with something like an understanding. A connection. Shauna doesn't want it.

"Do we have to get Jackie? I know where she is, I just saw her-"

"No."

Tai sighs. "Van, please, I'm not dealing with this tonight. First... "

She wishes she could throw up again, get out every thought and memory and watch it disappear into the ground. If it won't claim her body then maybe it'll be enough for it to claim everything that makes her her. Maybe she'll be the ground afterwards; after all, swallowing her thoughts is all she ever does. ("Just talk to someone. It'll be good for you.", her mother had said. Shauna had taken up journaling instead.)

Somebody's pulling her up to her feet.

"Shauna? Shauna, hey..."

Shauna sways, held up only by Van's arm around her waist. Her eyes land on an exceptionally blurry Tai, who's watching her with a concerned look (which is her own fault, Shauna thinks. If they just would've let the earth consume her in peace she'd be long gone already and everything would be alright.)

"Something's obviously going on." Van says. "I'm not leaving her alone, not in that state."

Both Tais glare at Van.

Shauna blinks.

Both of them are still there.

One of the Tais, the one with the longer hair, says something.

Her teeth are dark.

Maybe her bread fell into the dirt too, Shauna thinks miserably.

They're still arguing, still about her. She doesn't want them to, doesn't want them to care for her. Caring for her is not going to end well; she's a knife, a violent paper doll, hurting and destroying and incredibly fragile all the while. Waiting to be discarded.

She turns into Van and starts to cry.

"That's it." Tai (Shauna can't see which one) says. "I'm getting Lottie. Her party, her responsibility. "

Van just sighs and rubs Shauna's back.

Some time later (Shauna is confident that this is a correct estimate about how much time has passed) she's sitting on the steps to the balcony; at least, that's what she thinks based on the noises around her and the smell of weed in the air. The party is obstructed by the impossibly huge plants on the balcony, and it's too dark to make anything out except for a stream of light in front of her. She's grateful for it.

She still feels Van's touch on her back, a ghost handprint.

They're talking about her, Shauna knows, and about her. They (Van and Lottie; Tai pretended to leave but Shauna can feel her eyes from somewhere behind her) are standing a bit apart and the only thing she can hear are whispers. It's not hard though, to know what they're talking about; it's always the same thing. As if they’re entwined, as if Shauna doesn't even exist without her.

Don't get Jackie. At least theyre honoring that wish; they might pass her around like she's a particularly fucked up plant that everybody wants to get rid of as soon as possible, but god forbid anyone would want to pry Jackie from her second body.

Let's get Lottie instead.

She didn't want them to, and told them as much (which didn't do anything at all). Almost like she isn’t her own human with her own agenda; somehow, everybody keeps insisting that she can't possibly make her own decisions, that she doesn't know what she wants. Misplaced. A puppy hanging around outside, waiting to be let back in.

There's something to be said (thought) here, something that she can't grasp right now; it feels just out of reach, dancing behind closed glass doors, but it's interrupted by Lottie's shadow appearing right in front of her, cutting into the yellow light.

She isn't wearing a hat or anything, Shauna notes; which is weird considering it sort of looks that way on her shadow - as if there's a very weird tree growing from her head. Briefly, Shauna wonders if she's high - if she's simply inhaled enough smoke on her time on the balcony to make up for actually smoking.

Lottie, who's holding a joint, doesn't make that theory seem too absurd.

The smoke curls up and obstructs part of her face. Together with the dim light Lottie looks like she's hidden behind a veil.

It's cold again.

The smoke lifts, and Shauna can see Lottie's frown. She doesn't want to, doesn't want anything to make Lottie frown. Especially not to be the reason.

" -you alright? Van said you said something's wrong."

Shauna can't talk, can't get any words out. She feels too weak, suddenly, like she could just collapse right here in the steps and sleep forever. She wants to.

"Did you eat enough?" Shauna nods, hastily. She won't eat anything else tonight. Can't.

Lottie grouches. Her shadow convulses, almost following the movements of Lottie's body and forms into something else, something smaller. The branches have grown. They're almost at the border of the lightstream now. It feels like they're reaching for it. Shauna's hand finds hold on her arm, nails biting into skin.

"You know, " Lottie says, gently.

Shauna's eyes are ripped away from the... thing cowering in the light, to Lottie's eyes.

The smoke-veil has lifted completely now. There's a softness in Lottie's eyes Shauna almost never sees; and if, it's never directed at her. Only ever at Laura Lee. Nat, sometimes.

It feels like an ocean. Calm and harmless; but at the bottom, Shauna knows she'll be crushed. And she's sinking, faster than she ever did before. Her heart is a hand-grenade, beating with anger and fear, but there's something else there, too.

"There- Sometimes you don't know what's going on, and that's ok. Sometimes you're feeling things that don't make sense, or that you don't want to feel, or that make you want to rip your heart out every time you do feel them. Because you have to. And because they're so great you can't just feel them alone, because one person's just not enough but you cant talk to anyone about it because they'd kill you. Not literally. But metaphorically.

But I- I guess I just want you to know that you can talk to me about it, alright? About everything. About her. "

Lottie looks away briefly, her eyes releasing Shauna.

The joint dangles between her pointer- and ring finger, burning into her clothes or maybe not. It doesn't catch on fire.

If it would, Shauna asks herself, would her shadow be exterminated too, destroyed by the light? Or would it simply be freed?

"Shauna?" Lottie starts moving towards her.

"No." Shauna says. "Stay in the light. Please."

As long as Lottie stays right there, in the light of the half-open balcony door, the shadow will stay there too. Has to. If she lets it into the dark Shauna can't keep track of it anymore, will lose sight of it, and it's gonna envelop her, burrow itself inside her and never let her go.

"Do you still think you're a killer?" Lottie's shadow asks. "You could be. If you tried."

"I know. " Shauna's shadow says.

Lottie stills and looks at her. There's surprise in her eyes now, along with that overwhelming softness.

Shauna realises that she's sitting behind one of the plants, in the dark; there's no light. So there's no shadow. She lets her head drop to her knees.

Lottie sighs. There's a rush of air and rustling of clothes and Lottie's hand, gentle on her head.

" Oh, honey."

Shauna wishes that she could drown in her honey voice, could let herself fall and sink and go under and never come back up again. Live as her reflection. It'd be alright then; she's nothing more than fragments of a person who might've existed once anyways.

She doesn't dare look up now, now that she knows Lottie's shadow isnt contained anymore.

She doesn't dare feel anything else than her hand.

"Lottie? Uh, I think they need you inside. There's a. Well, I wouldn't call it a fight, but Tai and J-. Oh, I'm sorry, am I interrupting?"

Lottie breathes out.

"You could never, Laura Lee."

She stands up.

"Could you stay with Shauna till I'm back? She's not feeling well."

"Of course." Laura Lee says.

Shauna can only imagine the look they share, but she's seen them a thousand times so she can imagine it pretty well. It hollows her out, pulls something inside of her out piece by piece until there's nothing left. Until she's but a shell. In some way, she supposes, she's never been more.

Laura Lee sits down beside her. Shauna can feel her eyes; not concerned like Van's or inquiring like Tai's or whatever the hell Lottie was, but simply looking.

Waiting.

She always does this; sitting beside someone and simply being there until they start talking. Even if it takes forever. It always works.

She's the best of all of them. Of the team, of the world; she tries and tries and never gives up. She's never once thought about being a bad person; she's never once thought about anyone being a bad person, because she believes in the irrevocable good in anyone.

Shauna doesn't realise she's crying until she feels Laura Lee in front of her, gently trying to pry her hands from her head. They fail.

"Shauna. Shauna, please look at me."

Shauna shakes Laura Lee off.

"I can't." she says, muffled. "If I do, something bad's gonna happen."

"To me?"

Shauna doesn't know. Van's scars weren't ever there. Of the two Tai's that went to get Lottie only one came back, and none remained. And Jackie's still dancing.

"Something weird is happening, Laura Lee. Something bad, and I don't know what to do against it, how to stop it, what to-"

Laura Lee stops her struggles against Shauna's arms.

"You know. Some things you can't stop. Some things are just bound to happen, and you can't avoid them. They're going to find you anyway. But, once you're through, you're a stronger person."

"I don't think this is supposed to happen." Shauna says. And, then: "Wait, you mean like a test? from God?"

Shauna can't hear it, can't feel it, and yet she knows the expression Laura Lee makes. When she starts talking again, though, her voice is just as gentle as before.

"I don't like calling it a test."

"Why?"

"Because it implies that you can fail."

Shauna sniffles.

"What, you don't think you can fail?"

You don't think I'm set up for failing, for being the worst possible person with every step I take.

"I don't think he'd do that. He didn't create us to fail, he created us to be good."

"Is that in the bible?"

"I'm not bound to the bible, Shauna." She hears the smile in Laura Lee's voice. "Look at me? Please?"

It was stupid to believe she'd get through with this. Laura Lee listens, and talks, and keeps company until it works. And it always works.

Slowly, Shauna looks up.

The night sky is much darker here, with Lottie's house being out of town and less polluted by the street lights.

Shauna knows, though right now it's being largely obscured by Laura Lee's face, painted blue by the moonlight. There's a light breeze, and warmth, and the giggles of random boys who probably went outside with a stolen joint or something.

It doesn't matter, though. All that matters is Laura Lee.

There's so much love, so much certainty in her eyes that Shauna feels herself simultaneously recoil and wanting to come closer; to submerge herself in the belief Laura Lee holds, that spans her world, endless like the sky.

How one person can have so much faith, Shauna doesn't know. Can't imagine. Wishes she could.

If Lottie is the dark, all shadow and hidden half-smiles, then Laura Lee is light incarnate.

"It's going to be alright." she says, and for once, Shauna believes her (because it's said with such conviction, such immense knowledge that Shauna can't not believe her.)

The sky starts to burn. There are snakes of fire, a place of smoke, rising around Laura Lee's head like a halo.

A second later, there's a boom. It shatters the earth and Shauna's heart, vibrating deep in her bones.

"What the fuck?" Lottie shouts from somewhere behind Laura Lee, who's still towering over Shauna, hair still reflecting the light.

"Who the fuck brought fireworks? I swear to God and everything that's holy, I will get your asses, and you will never show your godforsaken face here again."

Fireworks. Of course.

Shauna exhales, shakily.

It rains blue and purple fire around Laura Lee's head.

In the moonlight, it looks like snow.

Is she right back where she started?

"Did you see? Nothing happened." Laura Lee smiles, tentatively. "I'm alright."

[c-nan]

jackieshauna and peneloise parallels go hard

[bratspike]

Any reason in particular you aren’t feeling Shauna so much this season?

others have articulated this before but the lack of jackie post edible complex has definitely had an impact since shaunajackie is like the titular dynamic to me. but beyond that im mostly just bored of shauna this season. motherhood plotlines rarely hit for me and while i didn’t have individual issues with the baby plot or callie just the fact that that’s all we’re getting out of shauna this season has me checked out. everything about adult shaunas plotline and the cops is taking way more episodes than it needs and the baby stuff is just not interesting to me. i love callie but there’s too much jeff. loved him s1 but enough is enough

[denwritesandcries]

YJS HCs – body types

Pairings: Yellowjackets x fem!reader

Summary: Okay so, I was thinking about body types so I could add details to my Shauna fic, really small things like skin marks and other stuff and that made me think about the other yjs too. I'm not used to writing headcanons, but here are a few that I couldn't get out of my head.

Word count: 1,9k.

Content: my personal headcanons, cursing, suggestive, fluff, insecurities, hurt/comfort, recent pop culture references so i guess modern!AU??

Note: This is so random and specific I don't think anyone will read it but I wanted to write it so badly.

English is not my first language.

shauna shipman

- I think Shauna is the most athletic of the girls, since in the first episode it’s said that she is the fastest on the team. Not necessarily thin; she is solid. Solid and warm. A warm wall seeking your touch all the time.

- She would always try to keep one hand on you and every time she touched you, her skin would be scalding hot, as if she barely needed gloves in the winter and only wore them because you told her to.

- Big spoon! She likes to wrap her arms around you and let her body wrap you completely when you cuddle or sleep together, her weight relaxing against you.

- Shauna is strong, like really strong and she knows it, her arms and legs are toned from training and she takes advantage of this to tease you at any opportunity, carrying things for you willingly (your backpack, shopping, whatever, she would be exactly like the *aggressively moves all groceries to one hand to hold yours* meme), rolling up the sleeves of her flannels ‘cause the muscles stand out, pressing you against walls/counters or simply carrying you during makeout sessions and nothing you do will take away the smug smile on her lips – well, barely nothing.

- She would also wear tank tops and shorts frequently just to make you nervous and receive compliments. It's ridiculous ‘cause she really thinks she's being subtle (she isn't).

“Shaunie, you sure you don’t want a jacket?”

“No, I’m good like that.” She's not, but she won't admit it.

“It’s raining.” You insist.

“The cold doesn't bother me anyway.” She shrugs, but leans back against you, placing her chin on your shoulder.

You snort, “Sure thing then, Elsa.”

- Shauna has a happy trail! Little baby hairs going up to her navel where she melts into a puddle when you caress her, goosebumps covering her skin in the same second.

van palmer

- I believe Van has rough hands from her goalie gloves! They're always warm even if the rest of her body isn't ‘cause of the constant movement – she expresses herself a lot with her hands too. She likes to run them down your sides just to see how your skin crawls, sometimes she does it out of nowhere just to scare you because she thinks it's funny.

- I think her skin is very sensitive, the kind that's full of moles and burns easily in the sun – you're constantly reminding her to put on sunscreen, but it's no use – she loves it when you trace patterns on her spots before bed or when you're bored somewhere.

- Her skin being so sensitive also means that hickeys and scratches are really hard to hide on her. She doesn't mind, in fact she seems to enjoy it a lot, you catch her a lot of times watching the marks spread across her shoulders and neck as they take days to disappear. That doesn't stop her from teasing you tho.

“It's been a week and there's still a purple mark on my neck. What are you, a damn vampire?” She mocks.

“Nah, you act like you wouldn't love me to be your Edward Cullen.”

She lifts her chin at you, “A leech then.”

"Van!"

- She has a belly and is very proud of it! She says it's the best for defending the goal and that it makes her fall to catch the ball less painful; She'll flex her muscles like a gym athlete when she's changing playfully just to seduce you (it works every time). She loves it when she lies in your arms after a bad day and you squish her tightly, it helps her calm down.

- She also has a happy trail, but she is too ticklish, like really ticklish. Many of your makeout sessions end up interrupted by her giggling when you drag your hands too softly under her shirt, she prefers firm touches.

- Van definitely has lots of small scars spread across her body from accidents over the years, that little weirdo (affectionate).

nat scatorccio

- Nat is as pale as a ghost, it would be impossible not to notice when you made her blush for any reason. She would try to distract you so you don't pay attention to it, but it wouldn't put off anything.

- The dark circles under her eyes are extremely pronounced, both due to her paleness and the heavy makeup she wears, so you always know when she's had a bad day or simply hasn't slept enough. She will complain incessantly about you making her stop and rest, but she will always do what you ask.

- I truly believe that she has lots and lots of moles all over her body, especially on her back.

- Some are bigger than others, large spots on the skin and she pretends that her heart doesn't warm with the fascination you have for them, but the prominent red face says everything you need to know.

“They look like small constellations, Nat," you sigh dreamily, hands soft on her naked skin, “Man, I wish I knew a single shit about stars so I could name them.”

“I’m shirtless in front of you and that’s what you’re thinking about?”

- I think she would have a lot of acne, especially on her face from sleeping and forgetting to take off her cheap makeup often, you would have to do a skin care routine together for her to really start taking care of it.

- She definitely has a tattoo scar that she got from one of those shady professionals before she was eighteen and didn't take care of it properly. You almost freaked out when she showed it to you out of fear that it would get infected. In the end she ended up with a weird drawing and a skin failure, but for Nat it was totally worth it, she says it makes her look like a badass (it's definitely not just because you kiss the mark every time you see it).

lottie matthews

- Alright then, let me tell you, this girl is FREEZING from head to toe. No matter how well she dresses up, her whole body will remain strangely cold, which worries you at a certain point, so what better way to keep her warm than to have her glued to you like a koala all day?

- She would place her cold hands on your neck just to bother you and then smile innocently when you took them in yours to rub them and blow warm air on them. That smartass.

- Lottie is tall (at least a lot taller than me) and I think she would have a lot of growth marks, you don't grow like that as a teenager without some.

- Light streaks on the back, hips, legs and thighs that would vary in tone over time. I think she would have the habit of hiding them so that people wouldn't comment, wearing long stockings with her skirts at school parties.

- She would be so flustreaded if you showed that you liked them by running your hands up her inner thighs, scratching her back gently to feel the smooth texture of the taut skin. It makes her feel so loved.

- She has sun spots on her face, around her eyes and cheeks. You think it's so beautiful that you could admire it for hours, anywhere, but you usually do it in bed in the morning.

“Are you watching me sleep, dear?” Lottie mumbles as she wakes to find you giving her a love gauze.

“Hm-hm,” you deny quietly, “‘Not watching you sleep. I’m watching you.”

“Oh.”

jackie taylor

- Now, Jackie would have stretch marks and be completely insecure about them. The girl needs constant validation about everything that concerns her and you better give it to her, she just wants to feel loved.

- Marks on her hips and chest that most of the time wouldn't even be visible, but she would still remember they were there. You run your hands down her sides as gently as possible and she will have tears in her eyes as you snuggle, heart warm.

- Your support helps her feel more comfortable with her own body over time, but she still wants compliments every day and will give you hints ‘til you comply with her requests.

- Jackie has freckles! This is actually one of the things she likes most about her face, the trail of dots around her nose and eyes. She’ll melt into a puddle on the floor if you start to kiss them one by one, but will lose patience if you decide to count them and stop the act of leaving wet kisses on them. She's not very good at waiting.

“Babe!” She whimpers.

“Just a second, sweetie, I’m almost finishing.” You continue, a look of pure concentration on your face, muttering “35, 36, 37…”

“No.” She says, hand grabbing the collar of your t-shirt and pulling you against her, “Come back now.”

- Jackie isn't necessarily icy, but she gets cold very easily and isn't shy about asking for your coat or jacket when you're together. Your girlfriend is a princess, better treat her like one. She'll squeeze her body against yours in bed and steal the blankets to stay warm.

- She has spots on her arms! Hundreds of light spots on the outside of the wrists to the shoulders, it's almost imperceptible, but so cute. Make sure to always let her know how beautiful she is.

misty quigley

- I think Misty has acne scars on her shoulders and cheeks, little red dots spreaded. She don't mind it most of time, but can be very insecure about it.

- She would be really suspicious if you just showered her with compliments out of nowhere just ‘cause you think she’s upset, so acting is better. Actions speak more to her.

- Place soft kisses on her shoulders, gently bite her cheek so she rolls her eyes in that nervous way she does. Make her feel beautiful as she is – because she is.

- She would be so pleased with you spoiling her that she would pretend to be sad about it a lot of times just to get your attention, she is an evil little genius. It’s captivating.

- She has freckles too! Little dots on her face so lightly that you only see them when she takes off her glasses, but they are there.

“I kiss you everyday, how did I never notice your freckles before?”

“Oh, I don't know.” She shrugs innocently, “Maybe you should take a closer look, baby.”

- She thinks she's so smooth but in reality she's a mess, the girl can't pick up social cues to save her life.

tai turner

- Okay so, Tai is the type who takes the football really seriously and works hard to win and to do that she would try to stay in shape as much as possible. I can easily imagine her doing extra training sessions and her friends teasing her about it, ‘cause Tai, it's a high school team.

- Because of this, I think she would have stretch marks on her back and calves, light fine lines that stand out against her dark skin. These are marks of her effort, so she shows them with great pride.

- She gets very smug and her skin crawls when you run your nails over the marks on her back.

- Tai is strong, strong enough to break someones leg on the field (sorry not sorry allie) and will show off for it whenever she gets the chance. She likes to wrap her arms around you from behind and lift you off the ground when she's passing by.

- She has sun spots on her face and arms! You think it's so cute, but if you say something silly and cheesy about it she'll roll her eyes and tell you to stop embarrassing her.

You sigh, “You are so, so pretty, Tai.”

“And you are so, so lame.” She echos, “...Come here, let me kiss you.”

- Happy wife, happy life. Always make her feel appreciated, she deserves it.

[novelconcepts]

There’s a line from American Gods I keep coming back to in relation to Yellowjackets, an observation made early on by Shadow in prison: “The kind of behavior that works in a specialized environment, such as prison, can fail to work and in fact become harmful when used outside such an environment.” I keep rotating it in my head in thinking about the six survivors, the roles they occupy in the wilderness, and the way the show depicts them as adults in society.

Because in the wilderness, as in prison, they’re trapped—they’re suffering, they’re traumatized, they’re terrified—but they’re also able to construct very specific boxes to live in. And, in a way, that might make it easier. Cut away the fat, narrow the story down to its base arc. You are no longer the complex young woman who weighs a moral compass before acting. You no longer have the luxury of asking questions. You are a survivor. You have only to get to the next day.

Shauna: the scribe. Lottie: the prophet. Van: the acolyte. Taissa: the skeptic. Misty: the knight. Natalie: the queen. Neat, orderly, the bricks of a new kind of society. And it works in the woods; we know this because these six survive. (Add Travis: the hunter, while you’re at it, because he does make it to adulthood).

But then they’re rescued. And it’s not just lost purpose and PTSD they’re dealing with now, but a loss of that intrinsic identity each built in the woods. How do you go home again? How do you rejoin a so-called civilized world, where all the violence is restricted to a soccer field, to an argument, to your own nightmares?

How does the scribe, the one who wrote it all out in black and white to make sense of the horrors, cope with a world that would actively reject her story? She locks that story away. But she can’t stop turning it over in her head. She can’t forget the details. They’re waiting around every corner. In the husband beside her in bed. In the child she can’t connect with across the table. In the best friend whose parents draw her in, make her the object of their grief, the friend who lives on in every corner of their hometown. She can’t forget, so she tries so hard to write a different kind of story instead, to fool everyone into seeing the soft maternal mask and not the butcher beneath, and she winds up with blood on her hands just the same.

How does the prophet come back from the religion a desperate group made of her, a group that took her tortured visions, her slipping mental health, and built a hungry need around the very things whittling her down? She builds over the bones. She creates a place out of all that well-intended damage, and she tells herself she’s helping, she’s saving them, she has to save them, because the world is greedy and needs a leader, needs a martyr, needs someone to stand up tall and reassure everyone at the end of the day that they know what’s best. The world, any world, needs someone who will take those blows so the innocent don’t have to. She’s haunted by everyone she didn’t save, by the godhood assigned to her out of misplaced damage, and when the darkness comes knocking again, there is nothing else to do but repeat old rhymes until there is blood on her hands just the same.

How does the acolyte return to a world that cares nothing for the faith of the desperate, the faith that did nothing to save most of her friends, that indeed pushed her to destroy? She runs from it. She dives into things that are safe to believe in, things that rescue lonely girls from rough home lives, things that show a young queer kid there’s still sunshine out there somewhere. She delves into fiction, makes a home inside old stories to which she already knows the endings, coaxes herself away from the belief that damned her and into a cinemascope safety net where the real stuff never has to get in. She teaches herself surface-level interests, she avoids anything she might believe in too deeply, and still she’s dragged back to the place where blood winds up on her hands just the same.

How does the skeptic make peace with the things she knows happened, the things that she did even without meaning to, without realizing? She buries them. She leans hard into a refusal to believe those skeletons could ever crawl back out of the graves she stuffed them into, because belief is in some ways the opposite of control. She doesn’t talk to her wife. She doesn’t talk to anyone. It’s not about what’s underneath the surface, because that’s just a mess, so instead she actively discounts the girl she became in the woods. She makes something new, something rational and orderly, someone who can’t fail. She polishes the picture to a shine, and she stands up straight, the model achievement. She goes about her original plan like it was always going to be that way, and she winds up with blood on her hands just the same.

How does the knight exist in a world with no one to serve, no one to protect, no reason propelling the devastating choices she had grown comfortable making? She rechannels it. She convinces herself she’s the smartest person in the room, the most capable, the most observant. She convinces herself other people’s mysteries are hers to solve, that she is helping in every single action she takes. She makes a career out of assisting the most fragile, the most helpless souls she can find, and she makes a hobby out of patrolling for crimes to solve, and when a chance comes to strap her armor back on and ride into battle, she rejoices in the return to normalcy. She craves that station as someone needed, someone to rely upon in the darkest of hours, and she winds up with blood on her hands because, in a way, she never left the wilderness at all.

How does the queen keep going without a queendom, without a pack, without people to lead past the horrors of tomorrow? She doesn’t. She simply does not know how. She scrounges for something, anything, that will make her feel connected to the world the way that team did. She moves in and out of a world that rejects trauma, punishes the traumatized, heckles the grieving as a spectacle. She finds comfort in the cohesive ritual of rehabilitation, this place where she gets so close to finding herself again, only to stumble when she opens her eyes and sees she’s alone. All those months feeding and guiding and gripping fast to the fight of making it to another day, and she no longer knows how to rest. How to let go without falling. She no longer wears a crown, and she never wanted it in the first place, so how on earth does she survive a world that doesn’t understand the guilt and shame of being made the centerpiece of a specialized environment you can never explain to anyone else? How, how, how do you survive without winding up with blood on your hands just the same?

All six of these girls found, for better or worse, a place in the woods. All six of them found, for better or worse, a reason to get up the next day. For each other. And then they go home, and even if they all stayed close, stayed friends, it’d still be like stepping out of chains for the first time in years. Where do you go? How do you make small choices when every decision for months was life or death? How do you keep the part of yourself stitched so innately into your survival in a world that would scream to see it? How do you do away with the survivor and still keep going?

They brought it back with them. Of course they did. It was the only way.

[shaunamilfman]

FWB to Lovers HC's

pairing: Shauna Shipman x reader

she’s the one that suggested it in the first place but girl has no chill. you leave the conversation with a bounce in your step and she’s pulling her journal talking about some “she doesn’t think i’m good enough to date” type shit.

Shauna gets irrationally jealous if someone so much as breathes in your direction. If you thought girlfriend Shauna was possessive, friends with benefits Shauna is so much worse. in her mind she has no real like “control” of what you do, so she’s just passive aggressive as hell about it. pulls out her inner Jackie and hits you with “oh?” all the time and refuses to answer your texts because you’ve pissed her off (said excuse me when walking past someone).

starts to get really affectionate without really realizing she’s doing it. tracing little patterns on your hands when you sit next to each other, resting her head on your shoulder, holding your hand while you're out together, wrapping her arm around your waist, etc. little stuff she never really did when you were just friends. she only really notices what she’s doing when Tai calls her out on it, some stupid joke about you replacing Jackie and Shauna’s fuming. it’s like she forgets that you’re not really a couple until someone brings her back down to earth. she’s all quiet and broody for the rest of the day.

you catch her staring at you all the time. she looks away the second you notice, but she’s quick to go back to looking at you as soon as you look away. it’s an intense look, as Shauna’s often are, so you’re not really sure what’s going on about that. she always distracts you with a kiss anytime you try to bring it up, so you never really get an answer about it.

drunk Shauna writes your name in little hearts in her journal and tears the page into shreds the next morning. aggressively crosses it out first just in case someone happens to look through her trash. there can be no evidence of her weakness (crush).

Shauna’s mood swings are off the charts. one second she’s laughing and giving you the sweetest smile, and then the next she’s frowning and sulking as she glares down at the dirt. she’s struggling so hard with her feelings, but refuses to admit it even to herself.

she compliments you a lot more than she did before (never), but it’s always on the stupidest things. talks about how she likes your outfit that you’ve worn a thousand times, or how she thinks your hobby that she previously never liked is interesting. (she got desperate and started reading through Jackie’s magazines.) 

agrees too enthusiastically if someone else ever compliments you to the point it gets weird. how dare they compliment you before she could?

insists on always being the one to drive you home. even if you have a car she’s going to argue with you until you get mad and give up. claims its just for your safety, but she really just wants to spend as much time with you as possible

so overprotective. steps in aggressively at the slightest negative remark about you and you’ve got to drag her away unless you want blood to be spilled. can not for the life of her explain why she got so angry over it later. just stares straight ahead as she drives past your house on the way home and tells you that you’re sleeping over at hers instead.

calls you a pet name once and cringes so hard she has to leave the conversation. will not speak to you for days. she’s so embarrassed.

offers you a drawer in her room because you spend so much time sleeping over. in like a totally casual way. actually, she got you a toothbrush too. like friends do.

it’s the small things she does that starts to jump out at you. suddenly starts getting you little gifts because she “thought of you”, remembers little details about things you’ve mentioned offhandedly. just all around thoughtful gestures that seem a little out of character for her.

suddenly engages you in deep conversations. Shauna’s very emotionally withdrawn, so it comes as a big shock when she starts asking about your future plans, dreams, etc. she always asks right after you hooked up, tentatively cuddling up to you as she rests her arm across your waist. that’s a thing that friends do, right?

at the same time, Shauna starts expertly dodging any question that has the slightest thing to do with your friendship or her feelings. she gets extremely defensive if someone even implies your relationship is a little unusual, which gives the other girls great ammunition to make her squirm and storm off. her reactions only make it more obvious that something is going on between you.

brings you up in conversations a lot, to the point that people start rolling their eyes when she does. “we” did this, “we” did that. “should we go to X?” includes you in any of her plans.

she gets so frustrated with herself for caring so much when she’s the one who wanted your relationship to be like this in the first place, but at the same time her ass will not communicate to save her life.

it finally comes out completely by accident during a heated argument. throws it in your face in a sort of “so there” thing, and goes bright red as she realizes what she just said. tries backtracking it but just gives up and glares at you. it’s your fault she’s like this.

when you get your shit together and start officially dating everyone she tells is confused that you weren’t dating the enter time with the way she was always talking about you.

[moneymartin]

teen gf Shauna headcanons pleaseee

🐶 - losergf!shauna hcs

warnings: mostly fluff but a lil smut under the divider :p

a/n: i know u didn’t ask for loser but shauna shipman is soooo loser girlfriend u cannot tell me otherwise. kinda messy and trash… i’m so sleepy rn i’m writing this half awake nd lowk a lil drunk UGH

taglist: @deerlottie @ultrone

my brown eyed beautiful baby where do i even start.

def the most athletic yj i will stand by this till the day i die

MUSCLE MAMAAAA

rolls up the sleeves of her flannels so you can see her muscles pop 😮‍💨

not a gym freak though but she works her arms 100%

cuddlebug fosho

little spoon and you can argue with me about that all you want this girl loves to be held

when she big spoons though she’s burying your face into her chest all the time

she plays with your hair tho no doubt abt it

even when you’re cuddling her instead

super soft kisses all over you while you doze off

sleeps after you do just to make sure cause sometimes you end up sleeping a lil too hard and she needs to make sure you aren’t dead

well thats what she thinks.

wakes up early even though she sleeps the latest out of the both of you

when you sleep for way too long she ends up full on wrestling you until you wake up

music geek

she def loves the smashing pumpkins, radiohead, the cranberries, the cure, mazzy star, jeff buckley, pavement, the cardigans. artists and bands of that genre

had a walkman like nat’s that you guys share on walks together

also has a vinyl player that she keeps at hers so you could listen to music with her when you come over

writes about you in her journal while she listens to the music

also writes these cute little love letters for you and she’ll write what songs she listened to while writing

sleepovers all the time though she’s one of those girls

drives you all over the place too

no matter how far so that you know she truly loves you

she goes absolutely nuts when you’re wearing her clothes i fink

esp her flannels

the moment you’re seen wearing one she can only think about taking it off of you cause it looks so good 😞

loves when you wear her jersey too

or her letterman jacket

funny sock gal

wears the one w monster faces on em or something like that

south park socks… hmo

SMARTY PANTS

got accepted into brown for a reason

she’s always helping you with assignments in case they’re too hard

she runs through them so fast though it actually baffles you to how she can do it

book geek too

has probably read harry potter a million times

edgar allan poe is her main dude she def likes poems and stuff from him

genuinely has a momma instinct

before you even get sick she tells you to be careful with the cold

and you don’t listen.

so you do end up getting sick and she has to take care of you until you’re all better

babies you but is also teasing you cause you didn’t listen to her warnings about it 😭 she could tell beforehand that you were gonna get sick

unlike lottie i think shauna has the ability to cook and stuff like that

not a 5 star chef but she’s good enough for you

being touchy in her public is her thangggg

you guys are always touching somehow

pinky holding, interlocked arms, holding hands, her just grabbing your wrist. she’s always gotta hold you no matter whaaaat

not very possessive but definitely a jealous person

makes it known she’s jealous w her attitude

has those anger issues we all know it

is not afraid to make a scene in front of a bunch of people she will cuss someone out for even looking at you

but she’s just jealous cause she’s really insecure :( poor girl my god

she thinks that the people you talk to are better than she’ll ever be

you have to reassure her countless of times so she can feel better about herself cause she’s always questioning you abt it

she loves little make out seshes behind the bleachers

its def the thrill of being caught like she loves that so much 🥸

when she kisses you she isn’t rough i think she’s very gentle actually

caressing your jaw and cheeks so you know she’s there and its not just some dream 😭

loves sitting on your lap while kissing cause it makes her feel like she’s the one in charge

also cause your hands are always in the spots where she wants them without her having to ask

biting…

teeth marks EVERYWHERE!!!

dom fosho but that’s not relevant rn

during arguments this girl is ruthless

not because she wants to hurt you but it’s because she’s always bubbling up

bottles up everything cause she’s afraid people won’t listen to her

but she’ll apologize eventually after if it looks like whatever she said got to you

won’t mean anything she tells you she just gets so mad at everything cause she can’t express herself as well :(

she regrets it so fast too like she’s immediately saying sorry afterwards

def a lace girly

loves showing off her new sets for you…

red black and white are the favs

OUUHHH

whiny as fuck but also holds her noises in cause she thinks they’re embarrassing

PANTER AND GROANER FOR SUREEEE

switch i think

like if she really wanted to she could top you but she’d rather be a power bottom

have you ride her strap or whatever…

its blue.

loves when you eat her out though cause she gets to pull on your hair

makes you talk her through it and when you’re topping but when she tops shes SO bold

she loves when you praise her thats the only thing she wants to hear from you during it

makes you kiss around her tits for sure

thats where she always wants you to be

when she’s jealous you’re constantly asking if she’s okay which leads into an argument

meaning that it’ll probably lead into really hot angry sex from her

the car scene really spoke to me

initiates everything too

anyways i’m done i’m so tired

[serqphites]

YELLOW JACKETS HEADCANONS | them being jealous

summary: they notice you getting a little too close to another one of the girls, this is how i think they would react to the feelings and emotions that would tag along with it

pairings: nat, misty, taissa, shauna, vanessa, lottie x afab wlw reader

format: headcanons

warning: jealousy, swearing?, suggestive ig

lowercase intended! not proofread! y/n used!

natalie

- stops speaking to you

- starts going hunting without you

- when you would hunt together she’d ignore you

- gets mad if you talk abt whoever she’s jealous over

- you’ll eventually ask her while you’re out why she’s being so weird with you

- she shouts at you

- you shout back

- “what so you’re mad you’re not the only person i talk to???”

- “no i’m mad because i’m not your fucking person!”

- your argument turns into a love confession on her part

- she starts crying

- she gets really embarrassed and runs back to the cabin

misty

- would be BEYOND upset

- she’d think that she had done something wrong

- overthinking it way too much

- was she not good enough for you? even after everything she’s done for you?

- would go a little crazy ngl

- she would confront them and basically interrogate them

- would ask things like “what are your intentions with them?” and stuff like that

- coincidentally after that she wouldn’t see them near you anymore

- i’m fact they’d always make sure they are as far away as possible from either of you

- you literally have no idea what happened you just assumed you two just drifted

- yayyy misty wins again!!

taissa

- she’s been watching you from afar ever since you joined the team

- she’s scared to be openly gay, would people resent her? would they even care the she likes women?

- she’s actually been making an effort to talk to you as much as she can

- whenever shauna was the one giving out the cards for the chores that day she’d beg her to make sure she saved her the closest one to you

- however when you start spending a lot of your time with van, everything changes

- van is openly gay, just like you are

- is it offensive of her to assume you’re dating just because you’re both gay?

- whenever she would speak to you she’d ask about van

- “we’re just friends tai, i swear”

- “sure you are” she’d laugh it off as if she wasn’t genuinely trying to figure out what was going on between you two

- one day tai is out getting water and when she turns around to head back you’re just standing there

- you very quickly explain that you have feelings for her and that’s why you’ve been with van so much because you’ve been trying to figure out how to deal with them

- she drops the bucket of water and pulls you in for a quick yet passionate kiss

- “take it you feel the same?”

shauna

- she’d be so jealous

- my god you better watch your back

- she’s so scary

- the glares she’d give you both when you’re talking? lethal.

- the things she’d write about the person she’s jealous over in her journal? vile.

- she would be really quiet and weird around you

- it would make you very uncomfortable

- one day she puts her journal away and doesn’t balance it properly on the wooden beam

- it falls sometime after she’s left the attic and you just so happen to stumble across it while searching for her

- you stare down in shock at the cruel things she’s been writing about someone who was only considered a friend to you

- you are that into the journal that you don’t hear someone coming up the ladder

- shauna sees what you’re doing and charges at you, snatching her journal from your grasp

- she shouts at you for reading her journal

- you honestly don’t really listen, too busy admiring how hot she is when she’s mad

- you eventually can’t hold yourself back and pull her in by her hips as close to you as possible

- you share a lust filled, rough kiss

- god you’ve wanted that for so long

van

- she’s not really a crazily jealous person

- she’s a hell of a lot more chilled out than the rest of the girls

- but when you start ditching sneaking out of the cabin with her to sit and read under the covers with misty? oh boy things change

- she’s never felt like this before, she could feel it in her chest how furious it made her to see you with someone else

- she would make sooo many sarcastic jokes about you both

- “they’re probably off snogging misty somewhere”

- you’d overhear one of her jokes to the girls and actually get pretty upset

- at some point later that night you’d drag her outside to explain the way her comments made you feel to her

- she feels terrible

- it was never her intention to upset you

- she admits her jealously got the better of her

- you have a very heartfelt conversation about the way you’ve both been feeling recently

- obviously a love confession

- let’s just say you walk back into the cabin holding hands, everyone pitching in an “ooo la la” or a whislte

lottie

- we all know my girl got some problems

- lottie is very protective of you

- always wanting you by her side

- so when she starts to notice that instead of attaching to her side, you’re attaching to nats, she goes a little crazy

- she’d honestly say some bullshit about how the wilderness wants you to stay with her at all times

- “lottie, you can’t be serious right now”

- “y/n i can’t ignore my visions”

- “we wouldn’t want to upset the wilderness now, would we?”

- at that you fold and agree to stop spending so much time with nat, even if you know it’s just lottie trying to act like it doesn’t bother her that you’ve been giving someone other than her attention

- nat is just in disbelief that her strategy to get you back worked

a/n: hope you liked this, this is my first ever time writing fanfic so don’t judge pls! lmk what you’d want next :)

[sawyerconfort]

the yellowjackets when you wear their shirts would include...

Hi, I promised I would come back and I just disappeared, I'm really sorry! As I mentioned before, my computer has been having huge problems, and I've tried to fix it before, but it looks like I'm going to have to format it after all.

In the meantime, I've got a laptop abandoned at home and I'm trying to write on it. Half the delay was because I was trying to adjust to the new method and the other half because I really had no idea for these requests and giving you shitty stuff would not be fair at all.

Ok, so here we go, probably for a wave of headcannons with other fandoms (AHS fans, I promise I'll answer all of your asks, don't worry!

Enjoy!

Requests will be a little closed for a while just until I get my act together! Sorry for the delay and closing!

If you can also let me know in the replies if you want more prompts and headcannons with the yellowjackets, I would appreciate it! And let me know if you want me to include Travis or\and Coach Ben on it too...

--------------------------

Jackie Taylor

I don't think Jackie would make a fuzz about it. Alright, she would probably be surprised on the first day. But because she's supposedly the most popular girl in school, she's even happy that you're being influenced by her style, after all, that's what popular girls are for, right?

It will also depend a lot on your relationship. If you are friends, for example, Jackie will insist on letting you take some clothes that no longer fit her. And if you're dating, she'll make sure to tease you as much as she can until you express the reaction that pleases her the most.

"You look beautiful, (Y\N), my style really suits you, like I always said."

Shauna Shipman

Shauna wouldn't mind too much about you wearing her clothes either, but unlike Jackie, I think she'd be pretty insecure about commenting on it, kind of afraid that it would make you stop wearing it, and also, of course, due to her internal issues with herself.

But Shauna would find it incredibly adorable, though, and would give you some signs that she liked the offbeat idea, her way. This includes not-so-subtle glances while you're wearing the fabric, or some clothes, which are her favorites as well, laid out on the bed when you come to visit… Little details that let you know that Shauna isn't bothered at all therefore.

I mean, unless it's her flannels, these inseparable fucking flannels… Those no one can take, not even a significant other.

"Uh… You look cute, (Y\N), in my outfit… I like it."

Natalie Scatorccio

I don't think Natalie would mind you wearing her clothes. In fact, I think it would be a good opportunity for her to take advantage of this and tease you as much as she can. She will do anything to make you self-conscious and blush, but not in a bad way. Like, that's just her love language.

And, let's face it, Natalie is needy enough not to let her scent wash off her clothes when you take them off. On nights when she needs to sleep alone, if you're dating, she'll purposefully grab one of her pieces of clothing and smell in the scent to keep you close.

"Hey, sweetie, lookin' pretty, huh? Is this outfit mine by any chance?"

Taissa Turner

I'm a hundred percent sure that Tai would be one of those people who abominate clichés, unless she's doing it herself. So, at first, this idea of sharing clothes with her significant other is something she would find completely silly. The first time, she would just kindly tell you to stop it, in a way that doesn't hurt your feelings (I love a soft-hearted Tai, don't judge me!).

But then, as time goes on, I'm also one hundred percent sure that Tai would buy clothes in her style that exclusively fit you. It's kind of her guilty pleasure, since spoiling you is one of her most practiced love languages. And well, considering the tantrum she threw the first few times, how much you've evolved is impressive.

"Okay honey, which one do you want to wear today?"

Lottie Matthews

Okay, get ready for the biggest love bomb you've ever received in your life. Lottie would be completely adorable about your wearing her clothes, and not only would she not mind at all, she would make a point of convincing you that you are one of the lost paintings by one of the famous artists of past centuries, or something like that.

In fact, it's kind of a headcannon on my part that Lottie doesn't have her own style and that she's always looking for something that makes her belong somewhere (some clothes in her teens she wore because of her mother's influence, just because it would please her, you know? )

So, seeing you wearing the dresses that she finds extremely over the top, or the blouses that have too much detail and too little simplicity, is like one of the greatest achievements of her life, if not the greatest. I don't think Lottie ever liked that flashy style more than when you started stealing it from her.

"Wow, wow, wait a minute! Wow, (Y\N), I think you wearing this made me a hundred times more in love with you! Wear it more, babe. You can wear my clothes as much as you like."

Van Palmer

(Okay, since Liv identifies as they\them, I'm going to change the pronouns for this one, hope you don't mind!)

Van and Natalie would have the same approach when it comes to stealing their clothes. But, I think, as an honest opinion, Van would turn this more into a flirting game than anything else. They are simply obsessed (it reads turned on) when you wear something of theirs.

And of course, this opens the door for some good teasing that will inevitably end in making out. Like, how would you handle it, with Van looking you up and down and smirking with that smile you're completely drawn to every time? It's almost impossible for nothing to happen.

I'm also pretty sure that if you were dating, they wouldn't let you have only your clothes in your closet or in your bags. There would always have to be three or more pieces of them that you could use as much or as little as you wanted.

"Wow! Watch out, everyone! There's an extremely hot living being crossing the room, and look what a coincidence, they're wearing my clothes!"

Misty Quigley

Misty would probably have the best reaction ever. Then she, who was always ridiculed for her attitudes and style, having someone who was able to wear her clothes as if they were completely ordinary. Are you kidding? You'll practically make her day if you do something like that!

Obviously, she would be embarrassed and reluctant to ask you the first time why you were doing it, but Misty Quigley has two sides to the coin, and one of them being the impulsive side, I think that would be the one that would beat her to the courage. And your response of the type "because I love your style" would simply keep her up all night.

By the next morning, her entire circle of potential friends would have known about it…

"OH MY GOD! Are these… are these my clothes? Okay, now you really need to let me do your makeup, (Y\N)!"

Laura Lee

(Same thing as Liv\Van, but I don't really know if Laura Lee would use neutral pronuns... It's all because of Jane Widdop, our baby!)

Laura Lee would be pretty surprised if you showed up wearing their clothes, and honestly, I don't think there would be any malice on their part when you did. More than a possible sign that they could be more than friends to you, this would mean that you could, above all, be friends.

They would find it extremely sweet, actually, the effort and dedication you put into choosing an item of clothing that they loved, but was also comfortable for you. In short, Laura Lee would just adore you even more, if that were even possible!

"Oh! Oh! I can't believe it! You look beautiful wearing this, (Y\N). In God's eyes and mine mostly."

[hansslut]

valentine's day with the yjs ୧ 💌 ୨

cw: pretty much just fluff !!! may have swear words included tho ??

a/n: made this for me and everyone else who's single on valentine's day too :l hope this make you all feel a lil better and ily mwah mwah, happy ( early ) valentine's day babes <3

NATALIE SCATORCCIO

- pretends she hates valentines day and everything that has to do it but deep down she adores it

- will stand awkwardly looking at the different kind of chocolates and sweets and being like "uhmmmm.....reeses are never a bad option i guess?" ALSO I FEEL LIKE she'd ask other people buying stuff for their partners what they're gonna get them cuz she's so confused 😭

- we all know she's a sucker for kisses, cuddles, holding hands, AAAANYTHING that has to do with physical touch but hates showing it so i think she'd use valentine's day as an excuse to be publicly affectionate a bit

- ok that's all i might add more later on

JACKIE TAYLOR

- she's OBSESSED with holidays and celebrations, whether it's valentine's day, christmas, anything

- waking you up at like 7am and being like "hi hi valentine hey you're my valentine it's time to wake up my valentine" while shaking you and smooching you all over

- she's never letting go of you on vday. always clinging by your side, holding your other hand while you're brushing your teeth, talking to you from outside of the door while you're on the toilet, hugging you by the waist when you're cooking

- wearing ridiculous matching outfits with her in PUBLIC. i feel like she'd have those shirts that say "their queen" AND YOU "her king/queen/monarch(☠️)" OR GETTING YOU THOSE SILLY LIL HEADBANDS THINGIES WITH THE JIGGLY HEARTS..

- knows exactly what to buy you and she's already gotten everything prepared😭 it's adorable cause she'll give you a gift of something you forgot you wanted and you're just sitting there standing like :O

SHAUNA SHIPMAN

- ditches you for jackie. end.

- JK. i think she'd just treat it like a regular day honestly

- gets you a chocolate and calls it a day but not in a bad way??? LIKE she already loves you and does a lot of things to show it so she doesn't really think valentine's day is necessary

LOTTIE MATTHEWS

- she's suuuuuuuuch a softie for showing you off and getting to shower you with gifts :(

- she wouldn't wanna go out too much, she'd probably have everything set out already. your gifts hiding in the closet, your sweets hidden in the fridge, everything prepared and on point

- i feel like since some of the yjs were mean to her and telling her to just stop talking and stuff, she'd be kinda closed off at the start and she'd be scared to show you how much she loves and adores you, but then when she sees that you accept and give her the same love back and even more she's SOOOO hyper

- writes you cheesy letters that you keep in your drawer forever and probably even little drawings of your favourite things or you and her 😭

VAN PALMER

- THE SILLY!!!!!MAI SILLY!!!DE SILLY!!!:DD

- arcade dates w them on valentine's day or going like on an amusement park☝️☝️

- they'd go print out some silly t-shirts for y'all... like "i love my van" with a picture of a van LMAOO and they'd make you wear it all the time

- if you want to do smth on that day, you BET you will. they'll never let you down i SWEAR they're the sweetest pookiest babiest to ever exist :(((((((((

TAISSA TURNER

- hates valentine's day more than anything... "what the fuck im NOT wearing that" when you ask her to match outfits with you but does it anyway

- she's miserable doing anything on valentine's day cause she thinks it's cringe but warms up to it when she sees how happy it makes you

- she's the girl that said "happy wife happy life" btw so she'll do anything u ask her to no matter how much she despises it which is.. a lot probably

- gets you a chocolate and takes 2 hours to decide if she should write you a corny letter with it and she scribbles down some ideas but then just puts :)

LAURA LEE

- as a christian we shouldn't be celebrating vday but im not really that religious so????

- but laura lee is so anyways she would be all like "im not going to sin, i don't want to disappoint my lord" 😭😭😭

- she'd still go on a date w you, well more like flower picking and stuff and she'd probably pull out the the bible and start reading to you but you love her too much to say no so you just listen

- ok yeah that's it end of post mwah mwah

[vevobly]

could you write friends to lovers shauna shipman x reader headcanons?? i love how you write her and i think is so accurate!! thank you, hope you have a an amazing day ☺️☺️

Friends to Lovers With Shauna Shipman Headcanons! (Pre-Relationship) [1]

A/N: Thanks, Anon! I always try hard to make sure the stuff I make about them is in line with their canon counterparts, but it can't be helped that some will just be out of character for them anyway. Moving aside from those, this was a bit rushed but I still hope you devour and enjoy it!

You were probably in one of her classes or friends with Jackie. At first, she doesn't really acknowledge your existence—too busy focusing solely on Jackie.

It isn’t until after a party that she and the rest of the Yellowjackets team are invited to that she does begins paying mind to you. What you did wasn't a big thing, to be honest!

You probably just, like, accompanied her for a while and complimented her outfit while she was moping over Jackie leaving her for Jeff again or something.

To your surprise, instead of being told to just leave her alone, Shauna actually lights up and starts talking to you; she thanks you for your compliment before talking about other things.

You guys don't even notice how much time passed with how invested you both were in your conversations with each other before someone from her team came to get her.

From then on, Shauna starts waving at you whenever she sees you around. She starts giving you these small (really cute) shy smiles when you two pass each other through the hallways.

It isn't long until it evolves to you guys striking up a conversation whenever you guys catch the other somewhere. You listen to Shauna, and she feels heard. She feels more seen.

Slowly but surely stuff changes between the two of you as you both get closer to each other. Shauna starts sneaking out of her house at night to meet you after dark, just hanging out with you in her car and talking for hours.

The conversations are just about whatever, school and gossip, the usual. But gradually it goes from that to Shauna spilling a lot of stuff she normally would just never tell anyone and keep to herself.

You guys start glancing at each other a lot, brush hands more often than friends should, and find a TON of excuses just to be physically close to each other.

When you guys are around the team, you both have to play it really cool. I mean, the team knows you two have been getting way too buddy pals with each other, but no one knows more than that.

Tai and Van has this vibe with you two. Natalie has this hunch. Jackie is oblivious to it. Laura Lee, Lottie, Mari, and Akilah feel like something's up with you guys while Misty is just in her own world entirely but she's like Nat too. She suspects something is going on between you guys.

You bet your ass that with how close you've become to Shauna, you get pretty good at reading her especially when she's hiding her emotions. You can tell when something's bothering her, and you're the one she immediately turns to when stuff blows up with Jackie or Jeff's existence pisses her off again.

As Shauna's feelings for you get deeper, she kinda starts pulling away from Jackie. Not just emotionally but also physically. Sure, Jackie is all wrapped up in her relationship with Jeff and her image. But when she starts noticing this? Oh boy, you are toasted. She lowkey starts controlling and preventing Shauna as much as she can from being with you anymore further than she likes.

This doesn't stop Shauna though. In fact, it just makes her spend more time with you. When it's just the two of you, her behavior completely changes. She's relaxed and affectionate (platonically 👀), more free and herself around you.

[alottiegoingon]

facing your fears

shauna shipman x fem!reader (all characters aged up)

warnings: struggling with sexuality, pre-crash (but mentions of it?), minimal usage of bad words, probably a bunch of english mistakes and bad writing (not my first language), no 18+ content just fluff

“Right, okay, Van. I think the lesbianism thing is taking over your head a little too much.” You scoff. Your lips were curled up in an expression that it was supposed to be a smile ready to mock your friend Vanessa and let her know how absurd her comment was, but it honestly seemed very unsure. Maybe been discreet wasn’t actually your thing, but liking Shauna Shipman wasn't something that you were happy to admit.

“She’s kind of right, you know. You think everyone is gay, Van.” Taissa’s eyes met her girlfriend’s. She didn’t like disagreeing with Van. Happy wife happy life, right? But maybe, just maybe, she could be wrong about it. Since Van and Tai got together and finally told the team, their favorite thing to do was spot other queer people at school and you were a great targer. Well, except for the fact that you probably weren't a lesbian.

It just wasn’t very you. As y/n Taylor, you had high expectations to be filled and a reputation to care about. Jackie Taylor was your oldest sister by a year and no matter how close you two were, ruining her reputation at school wasn’t a very nice thing to do and it could easily ruin your life. Her life. Jackie was the dream girl. The one that all the boys wanted to be with and all the girls wanted to be her. Perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect grades (almost) and perfect at soccer. Always the one that would drag all the attention to herself while walking through the school hallways and never missing a chance to attend a party with stunning clothes and the gorgeous makeup. You couldn’t complain about it though. Being related to a popular girl would usually get you stuff that most teenagers would fight to have in high school. Even if you were being known by being Jackie Taylor’s sister, it was still some sort of popularity level that many people wanted to have. Just… Not you.

You loved Jackie, of course. But the pressure of being related to the Wiskayok High School princess was too much. You were in Shauna’s car two years ago along with Jackie while she would drive you to school and you accidentaly let a thought slip away out loud; You were scared of trying for extra activities in school, frightened by the idea of not being good enough like Jackie was (which you didn’t tell her, of course). But eventually, you gave it a try when she said that you had to face your fears. She was good with pep talk. It felt like the world was ending when you tried to join the Yellowjackets team right after that and failed miserably, managing to fall right against the scratchy artificial grass on your first attempt of running after a stupid football. That’s when you realized that you saw Shauna with different eyes. When your cheek was getting squeezed against the floor and you heard the coach whistling, your eyes immediately met hers from afar. Sitting on the closest bench, Jackie made sure to scold all the girls that were laughing at you and right by her side, there was Shauna. Maybe she wanted to laugh as well but she didn’t. Probably because she was Jackie’s best friend, you thought. Her lips were pressing against each other so tightly that they were repressing even the slightest smile. She even had a threatening stare while looking at the girls who were giggling. It was a miracle that you got into the cheerleading team but at least it was better than run after a soccer ball. Besides, you looked cute in a skirt.

You knew Shauna before that, she was always at your house. But you never acknowledged her before. Not consciously at least. You remembered clear as the day when Jackie and Shauna would stay in the bedroom for the entire day; talking about everything and everyone and their stupid crushes. Jeff, Randy, James, you name it. You, too shy and scared to join them, would always politely deny Jackie’s invitations but that didn’t stop you from hearing their nonsense every time you walked through Jackie’s bedroom. Even when the door was closed, their voices, too excited to share their opinions on the world, weren’t exactly the quietest.  

“Exactly! And even if I was a lesbian, which obviously I’m not, Shauna would be the last person I would-“ You were more than desperate convicted of your own self, ready to deny Van’s crazy thought. You had no feelings for Shauna. But then, you heard a familiar voice sounding a bit too hostile now, echoing through the entire locker room. It was definitely her. You could see her narrowed brown eyes, her stiff back showing signs of tension, her folded arms and how her hair matching her eyes was stuck on a messy ponytail and took your breath away.

The muffled voice got more and more clear as the steps were sounding closer to you. You were so eager to defend yourself before that you didn’t even bother to look around and search the area for other people. A soccer team with girls only? The rumors would fly around very quickly, especially when coming straight from Jackie Taylor’s little sister. Teenagers were known for being cruel and mean for no reason and being a lesbian in 1996? That was the same as having a death wish.

“You aren’t supposed to be here. Cheerleaders are not allowed.” You were just standing up from the bench when Shauna stood there, just a few steps away from you. You took a quick glance at Van to see her with widen eyes and an ironic lurking smirk. She would always act so suspicious when Shauna was around and it made you worried every single time, thinking if Shauna would notice how their behavior changed when she stepped in and how you always seemed so nervous. You look at Shauna again and immediately remembered why Van and Taissa always assumed you had a thing for her. It was definitely probably how your pupils would dilate immediately when seeing her, the fact that your voice would get high-pitched even when saying a simple hello or how you would fix your hair awkwardly. Or maybe how you could barely say a word without stuttering and making it way too obvious that you weren’t casual about her presence.

You didn’t have enough time to say a single word. A loud metallic noise echoed through the locker room when Van practically slammed the locker door shut and gave you a very much not cautious look before leaving and practically dragging Taissa with her. In less than ten seconds, you were panicking. You were alone with Shauna all of her toughness and not a single sign of friendly thoughts inside her head. “What?” You mutter. For someone that struggled with eye contact, your eyes wouldn’t dare to leave hers. Maybe it was fear but maybe it was amusement.

“I know that you are friends with the girls but you can’t keep coming here all the time, you know? Cheerleaders shouldn’t be here and you know we only let you in cause you’re J-“

“Jackie’s sister.” You cut Shauna before she could finish her sentence. You didn’t think much before doing it. Before not only interrupting her but also giving hints that you were upset. Even if in silence.

Shauna doesn’t say anything at first but her eyebrows frowned almost instantly. It wasn’t like she didn’t know you at least a little bit to see through you, even if you had no idea, but she wasn’t expecting to hear that. Especially not now, out of the blue.

“I mean.” You sigh. It wasn’t the easiest thing for you to talk about what you felt and how all of these hidden feelings had such a deep impact on you. You couldn’t afford to maintain eye contact now and, just for a moment, you looked away. “Don’t get me wrong. I love Jackie, obviously. I just feel like…” You trail off. Maybe it was that time of the month again and you were extra sensitive or you just felt comfortable with Shauna, but something buried inside of you was begging to come out. The silence settles in for almost an entire minute. It wasn’t exactly awkwardness the thing that was hanging in the air but something very close to it. Once or twice, you would shift your eyes up from the dirty school floor to Shauna’s eyes just to make sure that she was still there.

“No, it’s okay. I get it.” She murmurs. Her eyes didn’t leave yours not even for a second. Even at different places and circumstances like at your own house or during the moments you were invited to hang out with the girls, she was always staring. Even when you weren’t aware of it, which was most of the times.

You were expecting to finally show signs of how bothered you were by the pressure of being Jackie’s sister. Of course that some of your closest friends like Van and Taissa knew that and always did their best to support you. (And by that, it meant that you would get to pick the movie for the movie night even though Van would complain about your choice as soon as the movie ended, pointing how badly written, directed or produced it was or how the actors sucked). But you weren’t expecting Shauna to understand you. She seemed to notice the surprised look in your eyes and it made the usual neutral and intimidating expression on her face softens. If you squint your eyes hard enough, you could almost see an empathetic smile.

“What do you mean? You are always glued to Jackie. You’re like her shadow. I remember going downstairs once to get some water and you were there at 2 a.m to grab Jackie a snack and I was terrified for a week. I’m surprised you don’t follow her to the bathroom.” You breath in, letting your voice show signs of vulnerability and even a playful feeling to it. And this time you weren’t crazy. Shauna was actually softening. You caught her lips twitching in a little smile and even making a sound that sounded like a laugh. When did Shauna begin to think that you were funny anyway?

“Look… All I’m saying is that I understand.” Shauna would never say anything bad about Jackie. Not explicitly. Not if she wasn’t bursting out with anger like she would do rarely or with small mean comments, which she would usually do if she felt like Jackie was being too bossy. You wouldn’t blame Jackie as well; she had her own personal problems. But somehow, Shauna was being comprehensive. She was there for you. “There’s things I can’t do because of Jackie too.”

There it was. Her words made you heart drop to your knees. You felt a cold sensation stinging on your body and now you were more focused than ever on the brown eyed girl right in front of you. Shauna had her back resting against a closed locker and her arms were still crossed, but it didn’t seem to contribute to her attempt of looking tough. You were definitely tired from cheerleading practice today and the stress from the finals combined to that probably made you imagine things when you saw Shauna’s eyes sparkling with something different when she said that looking at you. It felt like she was staring into your soul.

“I don’t… I can do whatever I want. Jackie isn’t the boss of my life.” You immediately say, clearly nervous and defensive. You feel a slight warmth in your cheeks when notice your struggle with expressing yourself and begin to overthink everything.

“Oh, really? Like when Jackie invited you to Mari’s birthday party last week but told you not to wear that dress cause yellow was her color?” Shauna smirked finally and her brown eyes were lighter. There was playfulness in her tone as well as a slight cockiness to it, she was proving a point. “Or when you had to talk to Randy Walsh once just because Jackie liked Jeff and his best friend was desperate for a date?”

The words Randy Walsh made your lips curl and your nose scrunch in disgust. That guy was awful. He even asked who invented the Pope once. He wasn’t even cute. Or charismatic. Or smart. It was safe to say that you weren’t very impressed by him. For the first time in that day, and even in weeks, you heard Shauna laugh at your reaction and half of the tension on your body faded away. You looked deeply into her eyes and you didn’t feel intimidated now. You smiled back. Well, it was still a small and sort of shy smile but it was there and it made your heart warm. You felt fuzzy while looking at her, noticing how a few hair strands would fall perfectly through the sides of her face and how her cheeks were still looking pinkish, probably from soccer practice from a few minutes ago.

“Maybe you’re right.” You finally admit. Shauna was ripping the truth out of you without even trying and you weren’t exactly opposed to it anymore. “But it’s not like I could do anything about it. Could you imagine what everyone would say if I told them that I’m into-“

“Girls?” Shauna finishes. One of her eyebrows is slightly raised. She wasn’t sounding judgy or rude, not even surprised, and you wondered why. Your body got stiff as a rock and you feel your forehead getting sweaty as a heat wave hits you. You were panicking. A lot. Enough to left you speechless.

“I went to your bedroom once last year when you were out. Jackie said that you had borrowed one of her books and she needed it to show me something and I swear I wasn’t looking for anything but you really need to hide your things better.” Shauna’s breath sounded heavy now. Was she tense? You definitely were.

Your mind was racing from thought to thought, thinking of all of the things that Shauna could’ve seen. And then it hits you. Since you were seven years old, you saw a movie from your childhood where the main character had a diary and you immediately fell in love with the idea of putting all of your feelings out with no consequences, instead of shoving them down. No one would see it anyway. At first it was just some silly little sentences about your day, about a kid stealing your favorite pen at school, about a lame day where you did nothing but stayed in your room and listening to Jackie all day or how your parents would fight over something idiotic. Then you entered high school and things changed. Suddenly losing your favorite toy wasn’t the hottest topic of your diary. Talking about how badly you hated those stupid boys from school but loved sitting close to girls in class cause it made you have butterflies on your stomach was the main thing going on. And you were lucky enough that your diary was left opened exactly on this page when Shauna entered your room. Fuck.

“You can’t tell anyone. Especially not Jackie. Do you understand how serious this is?” You immediately started to beg Shauna. Your voice was quieter now even though no one was around. Your cheeks were practically entirely covered by a bright shade of red and it was very easy to tell how nervous you were just by staring at you. Your fingers were playing with each other, fidgeting to avoid stress, your eyes were wide open and would barely blink. Your throat was tight with a feeling of having a huge lump stuck on it.

“Relax, okay? I won’t.” Shauna’s voice is quiet but soft now. Ot almost sounded like a whisper. A reassuring and genuine whisper. “It’s not like my journal isn’t full of embarrassing stuff as well.” She continues. It sounded like she was just trying to comfort you but it was actually true. You didn’t even know that she had a journal.

“Like…” Shauna takes a deep breath, taking a few steps closer to you. “Like how you look really good wearing those cheerleading skirts. And how cute your hair looks like with a blue and yellow ribbon on it.” Her breath catches on her throat when you look at her. Did she actually say those words or you were dreaming? Real or not, your heart was racing and you were feeling something different. A rush of excitement in your chest.

“You think so?” Your voice barely comes out. It sounded like a weak whisper. You couldn’t say much but the eye contact was intense and it would only get interrupted when Shauna would take a quick look at your lips. Taking another step in, her hand touched your cheek and it immediately made your body tremble. If your stomach was empty before, now it had tons of desperate butterflies.

Shauna simply nodded. Her eyes remained completely focused on yours, something shifting away and slowly tracing down to your lips. Your own eyes were doing the same, not scared to show how badly you wanted to find out how it felt to kiss her. And being quite honest, Shauna seemed to want the same thing. Finally, she begins to lean in and closes her eyes and you do the same. The next thing you feel is her soft lips pressed right against yours and it felt like the world around you had stopped. It took you a while to kiss her back. At first you just stood there like you were frozen in place. Paralyzed by the thought of trying to understand if this was actually happening, with your hands hanging in the air. But then you slowly let yourself get lost into her. When you both began to feel more comfortable, Shauna’s hands moved down to your waist firmly and your hands touched the soft and smooth skin of her cheeks. You were so close to each other that you could smell her perfume. Not too sweet but addicting and not too strong now once the day was almost over. Okay. Maybe you had feelings for Shauna.

She was the one who pulled away first. It took you some time to finally open your eyes, the idea of looking at Shauna after she kissed you was almost unbearable but in an actual good way. Now, that terrifying sensation of panic that was tightening your chest was all gone and you could only feel the warmth of your own cheeks and the one that would exhale through Shauna’s hands that remained on your waist. You finally opened your eyes, Shauna was looking at you with curious and dreamy eyes.

You were both heavy breathers now when Shauna finally broke the silence. “Am I still the last person you would kiss?” She teased you with a hoarse tone. Her lips were slightly puffy and red thanks to the kiss you two shared. You didn’t say a thing but your lips were struggling to stay still. Everything was too overwhelming and you found yourself losing the battle as the corners of your mouth got wider. You were smiling from ear to ear like a fool. That was probably what you were when it came to Shauna anyway. You were about to open your mouth to defend yourself but a masculine voice interrupted you. You both look towards the locker room entrance to see the assistant coach, Ben, with raised eyebrows and an angry stare directly at you. You immediately knew why. No cheerleaders.

“I should really go now.” You use your head to point towards the coach. Your voice was sounding thinner now and in a higher pitch than it usually was, showing signs of how dazed you were and how Shauna was the only thing going through your mind right now. Shauna slowly took her hands away from your waist. “But maybe we could, like, hang out after you come back from the nationals?” You could barely contain your smile now, walking backwards while not looking away from Shauna.

“Definitely. I can’t wait to come back.” Shauna was smirking back at you while biting her lower lip.

[jesterofcringe]

drain you of your love is so amazing!!! i loved it, could you make more of those? like the first time shauna fed of reader, they starting this as friends and becoming something more… idk i just really loved your writing 😭❤️

Stay clear and go away. [I'm bleeding out on the floor.] Vampire!Shauna x Witch!Reader [pt.2]

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ☆ TW for blood and mentions of needles ☆ [part one can be found here but these don't have to be read in order] ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

The first time Shauna fed from you was almost completely accidental.

Honestly, it was no fault of Shauna's, you knew she was very inexperienced with being a vampire. You just wish Shauna had been a bit more truthful- the whole ordeal would've been mostly avoidable if she had.

You seriously thought she was making a weird joke when she first approached you about the situation- you had a bit of a reputation coming from a family of witches, and as such you were used to dumb pranks and gags. Not to mention you had never met a real vampire, and never thought you really would.

Until she showed you her fangs.

Despite never having met a vampire, you knew enough about them to give Shauna a basic rundown and advice, emphasizing the importance of how often she needed to feed- you knew it was a rough transition for most new vampires, and you were fully prepared to help her struggle through a bit of a hiccup period while she learned and got used to it. To your surprise, she seemed to get it pretty quickly. At least it seemed that way.

For about a month or so you had been doing what you could to support Shauna as she tried to balance being a regular person while also secretly being a vampire. You supplied her with animal blood and kinda felt awful about it- you heard the stuff tasted nasty but what other solution did you have?

Everything seemed to be going pretty well, and you were happy Shauna had seemed to get the hang of being a vampire so quickly- that was until she was suddenly out of school for a few days. The first day you figured she had just come down with something, but it wasn't until the third day rolled around that you began to get a bad feeling about it... something in the back of your subconscious was screaming. You knew something was wrong.

You decided to skip last period and run to Shauna's house, just to check on her. She had given you permission to swing by on a dime, and it wasn't completely unusual to do so. As such, you figured it wouldn't hurt if you dropped in quickly to make sure she was alright.

A while back she told you where she kept the spare key, and seeing as it was early enough for her parents to not be home you decided to use it before carefully hiding it back in it's spot.

You knew she was home because her car was in the driveway, but that didn't stop it from being eerily silent in the house.

"Shipman?" You called from the doorway, "You home?"

"Up here," Shauna's voice sounded small, which you were sure was because of the fact that she was upstairs but you also detected a slight shakiness in her tone.

You jogged up the stairs and walked to her room, though you found yourself pausing suddenly in front of her door. Your subconscious was screaming again- you had a terrible gut feeling but you pushed it aside figuring it was nothing.

It was super dark in her room. The lights were off and the shades were drawn meaning you could only rely on the light from the hallway to glace around her room as you stepped inside. You could make out her silhouette, shaking and sniffling as if she had been crying.

"Shauna?"

She slowly turned to face you. In a weird way, her eyes almost seemed red, and she stared at you hard enough that you were worried she'd burn a hole through your chest.

Shauna stood up slowly and took a shaky step towards you. She furrowed her eyebrows and you could tell she was focusing on your position as if she was zeroing in on her target.

She locked eyes with you, and when she did you felt a sharp pang of dread shoot through your system. You knew in that very moment what it felt like to be nothing more than the flesh on your bones, nothing more than nutrients for your soon to be killer, nothing more than prey that has nowhere to run. Shauna takes another step forward. You reflectively take another step back.

"Shauna- Wait hang on-"

Before you could get out another word, she shoved you against the wall, closing in on you.

With one hand on the wall next to your head and the other on your chest hovering above your heart as if she was eager to rip it out, Shauna effectively had you trapped between the wall and her body. You tried to squirm and shove her away, which only rewarded you with her leaning forward and nipping at your earlobe in warning. You forced yourself to calm down and stand patiently still as she finally let go and instead turned her attention to your neck. 

Her breath came in slow huffs as she greedily drank in your scent, lips pressed firmly against your skin as she tried to decide whether or not she wanted to tear into it. One of her hands met your jaw, tilting it upwards so she had more room to explore before she finally settled on a spot right against the crook of your neck. She lightly kissed the mark, licking a stripe where she aimed to attack. The contrast between her warm breath and cool fangs caused you to shiver. 

The hand that was on your jaw shifted abruptly so it was now covering your mouth. Before you could question why, the worst pain you had ever experienced shot through your neck.

Whatever you imagined being bitten would feel like, you were dreadfully off. You weren't quite sure why you didn't think it would hurt as much as it did, but as her fangs sunk into you all you could imagine was being stabbed by a needle but a thousand times over. It was easily one of the worst things you had ever felt, and you instinctively wanted to scream to reflect that, but Shauna's hand being over your mouth completely muffled the sound. 

The newfound pain shocked adrenaline into your body, and you were instantly shocked into fight or flight. You tried to thrash, push, squirm, whatever you could to get Shauna away from you, but your struggle seemed to make it worse. For a moment she withdrew from your neck, before biting back down again. Her fangs tore away at your flesh as she dug deeper into your skin as warm tears burned down your cheeks.

Deepening her bite caused an unfathomable amount of carnage to your skin all the while sending shockwave after shockwave of pain through your entire nervous system. She feverishly tore through your skin as if she was searching for something.

Something she wouldn't stop until she had ripped from you.

Something you couldn't give her without turning into a cold corpse in her arms.

You wouldn't be able to hang on for much longer, and you knew that. Shauna either didn't know, or didn't care as she continued to get intoxicated on the taste of the gore leaking from your neck.

You already felt light headed, and the more she gnawed at your skin the more the room seemed to sway. You felt Shauna pull back, and you braced yourself to feel Shauna slice her fangs into your neck and more than likely inflicted the fatal wound that would cause your death.

You squeezed your eyes shut, held your breath, and tried to hold your own as you prepared for Shauna to bite down again, but she never did. She pushed off of you so you were no longer trapped against the wall. She used the back of her hand to wipe the blood off of her mouth, breathing so heavy her body seemed to sway.

Shauna glanced up slowly and you watched as the sharp red glare in her eyes melt away, replaced by the familiar soft brunette you were accustomed to. Her expression painted itself into one of confusion as she glanced between you, herself, and the bloodbath you both were soaked in.

Just like that, the Shauna you knew was back. Unfortunately, that didn't stop the symptoms of anemia from kicking in as you gave into the black spots in the field of your vision. The last words you heard before you passed out were-

"Holy fuck-"

When you eventually woke up, things were just as confusing as they were when you passed out.

The lights were dim making it hard to see, but you could make out just enough to tell you were in your bedroom. You felt a sharp sting in your neck as you turned to look around. Reaching up, you were able to trace your fingers along a bandage on the crook of your neck that wasn't there previously.

As you continued to glance around and try to figure out how you ended up in your room, your eyes landed upon your bedside table. Well, less the table, more the person leaning against the wall beside it.

Shauna nervously fidgeted with the fabric on the hem of her flannel. She repeatedly shifted her weight from being on the back of her feet to her toes. It made it seem as if she was rocking back and forth, and you couldn't figure out if she was stimming or self soothing- probably both.

Upon noticing you were awake she perked up. She opened her mouth as if she was about to say something but couldn't quite gather the words.

You noticed she was tightly gripping a bottle, and as you tried to figure out what it was she held it out so you could read the label. It was a potion- one of your own- supposed to grant good health and regeneration. Honestly when you crafted it you were positive it wasn't going to work.

"Sorry I... snagged if off your shelf. I gave it to you while you were out."

By all means, you should've been in agonizing pain after being attacked like that. Weirdly, you were mostly fine. There was still an aching burn around your neck, but it wasn't nearly as bad as you anticipated it would've been if your wound hadn't been treated properly.

You had to hand it to Shauna, she did a pretty good job of bringing you back to life after damn near killing you.

"How do you feel?"

"Cold."

Despite how well Shauna cared for you, the effects of losing so much blood in such a short amount of time still wore through. You were freezing and still felt somewhat nauseous. The lights were too much even if they were on the lowest setting. You covered your eyes with the palm of your hand as you sighed and leaned back into your bedframe.

"I figured since you were a witch you'd have something I could use to nurse you back to health so I-"

"I don't know if I'm more mad about the fact that you stole my charms or about the fact that you almost fucking killed me."

"...I'm sorry I really am-"

"Sorry?? I almost went into fucking cardiac arrest! Because of you!"

"I didn't ask you to come! This is kinda your fault!"

"Because I was worried about you? And wanted to help you?" You scoffed, "This is your fault for lying to me!"

"I never lied! You never asked if I was taking the animal blood or not-"

"Yeah well you weren't exactly telling the truth about that either."

It wasn't her fault, you knew that. You tried to convince yourself not to be mad but it was incredibly difficult considering how you had just barely dodged death. Shauna saved you, but she was also nearly your murderer. You couldn't help but to chew her out.

And still, you forced yourself to take a deep breath and calm down. You had to be rational about this, even if you were still ticked off.

"It's a rite of passage, I just didn't know I'd be your first meal..."

Shauna took to staring at the ground so she wouldn't have to look at you. Out of your peripheral vision you could see just enough to tell there was a nasty mark from where she had drained your blood, and you noticed how her eyes flicked down to look at the mark as you had been talking.

"Be honest, how do I taste?"

She looked up suddenly, and you could almost detect a smile threatening to form, "Bad."

"Oh get real." You said with an overdramatic eyeroll, "You were drooling at the sight of me. I must've tasted pretty good."

"Was I really?"

You nodded slowly, "Don't try to lie to yourself and pretend you aren't a vampire, that's kinda how we ended up in this mess."

Shauna frowned and went back to fidgeting with the hem of her shirt and rocking back and forth. You could tell this conversation was making her uncomfortable, but it wasn't something you could go without talking about.

"You can admit you like the taste of human blood. If you're not honest with yourself about that then you're gonna keep accidentally attacking people."

"No it... tastes awful." She balled her fist and grit her teeth as she said it, almost as if it caused her physical pain to lie.

"If I'm still alive you probably didn't even drink your fill, did you?"

"I... had enough."

"But you're still hungry aren't you?"

She didn't have to say it out loud, you both knew the truth that she was still hungry. Except you knew she wouldn't be able to satisfy that hunger without admitting that she was no longer human, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to face that truth for quite a while.

The situation improved none as time went on. To give her credit, Shauna really did try to balance being a vampire with being a regular person. The two of you tried absolutely everything to make her vampire cravings feel more normal, but it never worked. One way or another Shauna always found a way to make an excuse about not consuming blood as she was supposed to, and more than once it had resulted in the craving becoming more than she could handle until she would eventually get herself in trouble trying to satisfy the urge and inevitably drag you down with her.

Well, she didn't drag you down with her. You kind of did that yourself. You did your best to protect her as she tried to get the hang of being a vampire. It wasn't easy, you knew you bit off more than you could chew, but you refused to give up on her. It drove Shauna crazy how much you cared about her.

Truly, she couldn't stand it. She thought you were a great person, and hated the idea of you getting hurt by her own hands. She did all she could to push you away and convince you that she was a monster beyond saving, but you always made your way back.

"Why do you care so much about what happens to me?"

"Because I love you, damnit!"

You cringed as soon as the words left your mouth. It was something straight out of a lame coming of age movie for middle schoolers, but it was true. You loved Shauna. You had for a long time.

"Why?"

To be honest, you were wondering that yourself. You knew she isn't the monster she had convinced herself she was. You knew she could be dangerous- you had experienced it first hand- but you didn't care. You knew you could help her. You just wished she would let you.

"I don't know, but I love you for who you are. Not who you were or whatever you've convinced yourself you've become. I love you for you."

It was corny as hell, but it seemed to work. Shauna still didn't believe you, but you wanted to prove yourself.

You convinced Shauna to feed from you.

It took a lot to persuade her considering the first time she fed from you. She was absolutely terrified of hurting you, but you were gradually able to convince her that if she fed before the craving kicked in she'd be completely in control of herself. If she waited too long then things might get a little messy. Again.

"Your heart is beating really fast."

"Is it really?" Of course your heart was racing. Here you were, sitting on Shauna's lap, about to give your blood to her. You had everything prepared- a bandage, some water and sugar, and a towel to prevent too much of a mess- and yet you were still nervous as hell. You honestly just wanted to help, and didn't know why you were getting so antsy, but you thought you had been masking it pretty well. Apparently not, you now realized as you sighed, "How can you tell?"

"I can hear it." 

Your immediate assumption was that your heart was beating so dreadfully hard that it was audible, but you forgot that being a vampire granted Shauna enhanced senses. Or maybe you were really that anxious.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to-"

"-No no, I'm fine." You quickly interjected, "I don't know why I'm freaking out, I know you won't hurt me."

Shauna shrugged, "It'll probably hurt a little bit if I'm being completely honest."

"That's not helping."

The both of you were sitting on Shauna's bed, but from where you were you could perfectly see the doorway. More importantly, you could see the wall where you had nearly bled out a few months prior. Even though it was cleaned pretty well and covered with a poster, you still felt like you could see the stain. You had been staring at it, wondering if things would be like they were last time. Despite your anxieties, you were determined not to back down. You just... couldn't help but to wonder.

"Alright, let's try something different."

Without warning, Shauna suddenly pushed you back so you were no longer on her lap but instead lying flat on your back. Before you had a chance to sit up, she maneuvered herself so she was completely on top of you- her knees next to your thighs and her forearms on either side of your head 

You hoped you weren't blushing as much as you thought you were.

"Woah- take me out to dinner first." You said dumbly, trying to relieve the tension.

"I would if you weren't on the menu."

Hot damn.

Slowly, she raised one hand and hovered it above the center of your chest, "Is it ok if I put my hand here?"

"Yeah that's fine," Honestly, your heartrate almost quickened as she lowered her hand and firmly planted it on your chest, "Are you feeling for my heartbeat?"

"Mhm, still pretty high. Try slowing your breathing."

Though difficult considering your current position, you did as you were told. You tried to breath as slowly as you could, taking your time inhaling, momentarily holding your breath, before dragging out your exhaling. 

"Perfect, just like that."

You continued like that, inhaling through your nose, exhaling through your mouth. Shauna slowly nodded as you did, and you could progressively feel your heartbeat slowing. She began to shift, nuzzling into the crook of your neck as she lowered the rest of her body to be completely on top of your own. You could feel the way she picked her mark as she peppered small kisses along the part of your skin she settled on.

You shivered as she ran her fangs along your neck. The whole process was too similar to last time, but you tried not to think about that as you kept breathing.

"Do you wanna give me a heads up before you-"

Before you could finish your sentence, Shauna pierced your neck with her fangs. Just like before you felt a stab, sudden and sharp, and you wanted to instinctively cry out in pain. Except this time you could, as Shauna wasn't completely focused on keeping you still and silent.

You yelped as Shauna withdrew her fangs. She muttered a quiet apology before she licked a stripe from where you were now bleeding.

It was all too familiar to the last time Shauna fed off you, and yet it was so drastically different. She used her body weight to keep you down like before, but in a way her weight on top of you was somewhat calming and helped you stay relaxed. Instead of focusing on digging into your flesh, She licked and kissed at the wound soothing the burning ache while simultaneously lapping up the blood leaking from your skin. 

You whimpered and winced, trying and failing at keeping your cool. She mumbled quiet apologies against your skin, pausing to withdrawal and affirm you were doing great.

Just as quickly as it started, it was over.

Shauna gave the wound one final kiss before she sat up, wiping the blood from her mouth with the palm of her hand while simultaneously reaching for the bandage. You propped yourself up on your elbows, one hand instinctively reaching up to trace along the mark she had left. Shauna quickly slapped your hand away as she carefully tried to place the bandage over the spot on your neck.

"Stop that- hold still."

"I just want to feel it-"

"You're going to get blood on my bed, give me a second."

She pressed the bandage down and you accidentally whined.

"Are you ok?"

"Oh yeah," You nodded, "I'm fine."

Although you were completely fine, you noticed Shauna was staring off into the distance as if she were contemplating something.

"Are... you ok?"

She shook her head slowly, "It's just weird."

"What's weird?"

"Your blood. It tasted sweet."

Confused, you tilted your head to the side, "I think that's normal. Being a vampire should alter your taste-"

"Last time it tasted metallic." To conceal a smirk, you forced yourself to frown. You were no good at hiding your expression and Shauna seemed to catch it anyways, "What?"

"It's nothing."

"Obviously it's something."

"I just can't believe you don't know-"

"-Don't know what?"

You stifled a laugh to the best of your ability, "It means your becoming acquired to my taste."

Shauna's face fell, "Are you serious?"

You nodded slowly and Shauna groaned, "You don't wanna get hooked on my blood?"

"No!"

"That's too damn bad, Shipman," You said with a cheeky grin, "You're stuck with me."

[helloalycia]

𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] — 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑

summary: when Jackie surprises you with a kiss, you're excited at the possibility of what it could mean, only to discover she's got back together with her boyfriend the next day.

warning/s: implied internalised homophobia i suppose?

author's note: and here’s the third and final part - i hope you liked this one, loved writing for jackie 🥰 i have amother jackie one done and another in the works bc apparently i was super inspired recently lol, and i’ve also got some other stuff in progress. But the next thing I post is gonna be an alycia debnam carey imagine (gotta stick to my roots haha)

one / two / masterlist / wattpad

I groaned inwardly as I looked all around the darkroom, my locker and my school bag for my lens cap, but I just couldn't seem to find it. That's when I wondered if it could be in the bleachers on the soccer pitch – maybe it fell out of my pocket when I was shooting recently.

Like the lazy girl I was, I went outside with tunnel vision, immediately searching the bleachers for my lens cap, but I still couldn't find it. As I paused, looking up for a moment to think, I realised someone was on the pitch, and upon closer inspection at the waving figure, I realised it was Jackie. Huh.

When I climbed down from the bleachers, she jogged over to me with a confused expression, but smiling nonetheless.

"What are you doing here?" she asked breathlessly, a little sweaty from practice, and it was annoying because she still managed to look good.

"I lost my lens cap for my camera," I said with a sigh. "The last place I remember having it is here."

Her fingers played with her bottom lip as she glanced around. "Oh. That's annoying. Erm..."

"It's fine," I said, not wanting her to worry herself over it when it was my problem. "I'm just having a look around, but I don't think it's here. Might pick up a new one from the camera store. Anyway, what are you doing out here? Where's the team?"

At this, she rested her hands on her hips. "No practice on today, but I wanted to have some me time. Thought I'd put in some extra practice. I've finished now anyway."

I quirked a brow. "Isn't Shauna usually your lift? How you getting home?"

"Shauna is helping her parents with something," she said, before flashing me her signature smirk. "I was planning to flirt with some sophomores and get a ride."

I laughed, shaking my head. "Of course you were."

She winked playfully and, though I didn't doubt she could find some desperate sophomore to give her a ride, I couldn't just let her do that. Besides, it seemed she was getting lifts off me a lot lately, so what was one more to add to the list?

"I'm done in the dark room if you need a ride," I offered.

"Oh, I wasn't hinting at anything," she said, giving me a genuine smile, but I shook my head.

"I know, but still. I don't mind."

Appreciative, she nodded. "Thanks. Do I have time to shower?"

"You have all the time in world, darling," I said as I looked around. "I am still yet to find my lens cap."

She stifled a chuckle. "Good luck with that. I'll go clean up. Meet you at your car?"

I hummed in agreement, already mentally retracing my steps with my camera, and she left me to it. After spending half an hour more searching all around for my lens cap, I finally gave up and went to sulk in my car. It wasn't actually a big deal, especially because I could just buy a new one after dropping Jackie off, but it was the inconvenience of it all.

Not long after I got in my car, Jackie joined me, tossing her backpack in the backseat before sliding into the passenger's seat. Looking refreshed, she shot me a smile.

"So, where to?" she asked, pulling her seatbelt on.

"Your house?" I replied, thinking it was obvious.

"But I thought you wanted to get your lens cap from the store," she said with confusion. "Oh, wait, did you find it?"

As I started the car, I said, "I didn't, but it's fine. I can drop you off home."

"I don't mind going," she said, leaning her elbow on the door. "It's on the way anyway."

"You sure?"

She hummed in agreement, so I drove us straight to the camera store, knowing I wouldn't be long. Luckily, it was still open for the day, and when we headed inside, she immediately began to wander around the small store, intrigued by the cameras on display.

I began to talk to the shopkeeper about my lens size and what camera I had, hoping he had a replacement cap I could buy, and then he left to have a look in the back.

"Y/N, there's a photo booth!" Jackie suddenly called as I was waiting for the shopkeeper to return.

"Yep," I acknowledged, having seen it a million times so not sure what the hype was.

"We have to use it, c'mon!" she pleaded, already grabbing my hand.

I rolled my eyes, having gotten used to Jackie so much that I knew to just go with the flow at this point. She was grinning as she looked at the button and money slot.

"It's fifty cents," she realised, before elbowing me in the gut as she rushed to find some coins in her pocket. Eventually she pulled out a quarter and looked at me. "You got another quarter?"

"I guess? I don't–"

"Look!" she encouraged, and I grumbled to myself as I dug around in my own pocket, managing to pull out a quarter. Before I could even offer it her, she grabbed it from my hand and put both of them in the machine.

After fiddling around, a manual timer ticked to signal the first photo was going to be taken, so Jackie moved closer to me to fit in the lens.

"Smile!" she said, and I had no choice but to listen.

The photo was taken and, just as quickly, the next timer was going off.

"Funny face!" she instructed immediately, before pulling one of her own.

I rushed to stick out my tongue, managing to do bunny ears behind her head without realising, and then the final timer was ticking.

"Okay, a kiss on the cheek for the grand finale," she said with amusement, and because we'd been so rushed up until now, I didn't really think to question who was kissing who.

As the last tick went off before the photo, I turned to kiss her cheek, but she must have done the same, because for a brief moment, our lips touched and then the photo was taken. Embarrassed, I quickly pulled away, as did she.

"Sorry," we both blurted at the same time, and suddenly this photo booth felt too small.

"Y/N?" the shopkeeper called, and I was grateful for the interruption as I stepped out the photo booth and saw he was back at the counter. "Got your lens cap. This should fit like a glove."

I swallowed thickly as I approached the counter, acutely aware of Jackie stood behind me, looking as awkward as I felt. After paying the shopkeeper, the two of us left and returned to the car.

"Er, did you want the photos or–" Jackie started to ask when we got in the car, holding the strip that the machine gave her.

"It's okay, you really wanted them," I said quickly, before distracting myself with starting the car.

To say the car ride home was awkward was an understatement, even with the radio filling the silence. I wasn't sure why, since we both knew the poor attempt of a kiss was an accident, but my fear was that I'd made her feel uncomfortable. It was the last thing I'd wanted, but I couldn't bring myself to speak, and neither could she.

I barely got chance to put my parking brake on when she got out the car and avoided my eyes.

"Thanks for the ride," she muttered, before walking up the long path to her mansion of a home.

I would have left it there, but it felt wrong to, and then I noticed she'd left her backpack in the backseat, so I called her from the open window and grabbed the bag. Jumping out the car, I jogged to meet her halfway, glad she'd stopped.

"You forgot your bag," I said, holding it out to her, and she accepted it, expressionless but staring holes into my face.

Knowing I couldn't leave it like this, I started, "Jackie, what's–"

But she cut me off instantly – and to my surprise – with a kiss. I stumbled back as she grabbed my face, kissing me with such intensity that it took me a second to realise that Jackie fucking Taylor was kissing me. And she was really good at it.

I closed my eyes, reciprocating the kiss, breathing in every part of her floral perfume, tasting every bit of her strawberry lipgloss. There was a second where we paused to take in a breath, but she closed it just as quickly, desperate and sudden and surprising.

Finally she pulled back, and then as if realising what she'd done, her hands let go of my face and she avoided eye contact like I'd make her go blind.

"Thanks," she said awkwardly, before spinning around and speed walking to her front door.

"Wait, Jackie–!"

But she fumbled for her keys and was already at her front door, not bothering to turn around. I swallowed hard, my lips still tingling from the sensation of hers, and went back to my car. Did that really just happen?

All night I was thinking about it, replaying the afternoon in my mind. She'd made me question a lot about my feelings for her in the past, and at one point, I was certain I was just projecting onto her – maybe that flirting was just who she was? But no, it had to be real, because she'd just made out with me on her own accord, and I liked it. I'd liked her, sure, but she'd always been unattainable to me for obvious reasons.

Well, until now.

The next day at school, I was hoping I could talk to Jackie about everything properly, maybe get some clarification on what she was thinking. So, you can imagine my surprise when I walked past her in the hall and saw her standing with Jeff, her supposed-to-be ex-boyfriend, leaning on his shoulder as he had an arm wrapped around her.

As soon as I saw them together, my heart dropped, the surprise easily replaced by humiliation. God, how could I have ever thought Jackie Taylor and I could be a thing? Was I stupid?

Turning to walk a different way, I fought back the urge to cry, feeling used and stupid and like an absolute fool for thinking yesterday was anything special.

"Hey, Y/N, wait," Jackie suddenly called, and then she stopped before me with apologetic eyes. "I didn't–"

"So you're back with Jeff, huh?" I got straight to the point, glaring at her.

She avoided my eyes and nodded weakly.

I scoffed, feeling much better hiding behind my anger than my sadness. "Why did you even do it, Jackie? Why d'you kiss me?"

She frowned. "I don't know."

The longer she avoided my stare, the more upset I became. How dare she do all of this, make me fall for her, force herself into my life, only to throw it back in my face.

"Just wanted to test it out?" I muttered bitterly. "Kissing a girl?"

She winced. "No, it wasn't like that."

"Then what?" I asked, searching her expression for a clue, but she refused to answer, either not having the words or not wanting to upset me anymore. Too late for that. "You should figure your shit out," I said harshly. "And don't speak to me again."

Finally, she looked up, but I was already leaving, ignoring when she called my name. I should've known she'd go back to him, she always did.

Fuck Jackie Taylor.

It was impossible to avoid her and Jeff over the next few days, since they were in a lot of my classes and always on the way to my locker, but I tried my darn best to.

Unfortunately for me, I was out grocery shopping with my mum when I spotted a familiar blonde head of hair further down the aisle from us, standing with her best friend. I was hoping if we stayed put long enough, they'd just keep going and we wouldn't bump into them, but my mum, who was oblivious to our falling out, spotted Jackie instantly.

"Oh, Y/N, your friend is here," she pointed out, and before I could tell her to keep it down, she started to call out Jackie's name, earning her attention.

"Mum, no!" I whisper-shouted, but it was too late because Jackie and Shauna were already approaching us.

I considered walking away, finding somewhere else to busy myself, but my mum would have just found a reason to make it a big deal, so I stayed put and kept quiet.

"Hey, Y/M/N," Jackie greeted my mum in her usual chirpy voice, before I felt her looking at me. "Hey, Y/N."

I ignored her, suddenly interested by the handlebar of the trolley.

"Jackie, it's so great to see you again," my mum said, genuinely happy to chat with her, since the soccer player had made quite the impression on her. "And your friend, it's Shauna, right?"

"It is, it's great to meet you," Shauna greeted her kindly before shooting me a smile. "Hey, Y/N."

"Hey," I mumbled, giving her a quick smile before looking at the bananas on display.

"You know, it's a good thing I bumped into you," my mum said to them, particularly Jackie. "I wanted to thank you again for your help at the fundraiser! We raised over five thousand dollars!"

"That's amazing," Jackie said with disbelief. "I didn't know."

At this, my mum glanced at me questioningly. "Didn't you tell her, hon?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Must've forgotten."

"Oh, Y/N," my mum scolded lightheartedly as Jackie looked away uncomfortably.

She continued to talk the girls' ears off before finally realising she was holding everyone up and saying her goodbyes. Taking the trolley from me, she began to push it forward and I was about to follow, but Jackie suddenly grabbed my arm.

"Y/N–"

I pulled my arm from her grasp, not bothering to meet her gaze. "Don't you have a soccer game to practice for or something?"

She didn't reply, and I rejoined my mum's side, remaining quiet for the rest of the trip. Why couldn't Jackie just leave me alone?

I was making notes in my English workbook as the teacher continued to explain the variations and development of children's language AKA the topic of our next assignment.

"...and I think that, just like children, students like Jackie Taylor can't seem to focus when they're supposed to be," Mr. Collins suddenly said, pulling me from my focus. "Miss Taylor, is there something particularly fascinating about the back of Miss Y/L/N's head?"

A few students giggled to themselves as I flushed with embarrassment, too afraid to turn around to see what he was talking about, though it was pretty self explanatory.

Jackie cleared her throat, embarrassed. "Of course not, sir. Sorry. Continue."

"Thank you," he said sarcastically, before continuing to read through his presentation, but my face was still flaming and I was unable to focus for the rest of class now, aware of the hazel eyes staring a hole in my back.

God, she was seriously not helping with this whole getting over her thing.

About a week after the whole Jackie thing, I unfortunately couldn't seem to avoid her forever as I had to take photos at the Yellowjackets' away game. I told myself I'd just do my job and be gone to avoid any awkwardness, but of course, that couldn't happen.

The game happened to be at East Rutherford High which wasn't a big deal, but as I was setting up my camera on the side of the pitch before the game, Olivia found me.

"Y/N, hey!" she called, and I turned around before remembering she went here.

"Liv, hey," I said with a smile, before hugging her. "I totally forgot you go here. Big soccer fan?"

She chuckled. "Not really. But my friends are so I said I'd come watch. Don't know why we bother though, the Yellowjackets always kick our arses."

I tried not to laugh because it was true. "Way to support your team."

"As a school, we've kind of accepted our defeat," she joked, before nodding to my camera. "You're taking photos for the paper, right?"

I nodded, letting my camera hang from my neck. "That's right."

"Your photos are always so good," she complimented, and I was surprised she'd seen them, so she clarified, "Sometimes our school paper look at examples of nearby schools and whenever they show us yours, I always see your photographs."

I smiled with embarrassment, though touched that she'd noticed. "Thanks, Liv, that means a lot."

She shrugged. "Just stating the truth." She paused, glancing out at the pitch as the players started to file out. "Surprised your friend, Jackie, isn't here. Didn't think she'd like me talking to you."

At this, I grew embarrassed for a different reason. "Yeah, look, I'm sorry if she was standoffish with you last time. I didn't–"

"I'm teasing," she assured me, trying not to laugh. "But it's all good. I should go find my seat anyway."

I sighed, nodding, and she smiled sweetly at me before leaving. Rubbing my face, I tried to push any thoughts of the soccer captain out of my head, hating that she was still being mentioned even when she wasn't here.

Instead, I focused my efforts on photographing the game, actually quite enjoying that it was an evening match so the lowlight gave me something to practice with. During half time, Olivia stopped by again and I welcomed it, enjoying getting to know her a little more. She was actually really chill to hang out with, but Jackie's words were still in my head about her 'textbook flirting'. Either way, Olivia was fun.

It was a given that the Yellowjackets would win, and after the game ended and I snapped some celebratory pictures, I moved to the side of the pitch to pack up my things. Olivia approached me again and I smiled.

"Great game, huh?" she said with amusement.

"Always is when the Yellowjackets play," I said playfully, and she raised her brows with mock disbelief.

"Wow, you're already starting the soccer war? That's low, Y/N," she said, making me laugh.

"Gotta support the home team," I said with a shrug. "Especially when they're that good."

She rolled her eyes, suppressing her smile. "Yeah, yeah..." As I shouldered my camera bag, she asked, "You heading off now?"

"That's the plan," I said with a tired sigh. "Why? Aren't you?"

She locked eyes with me, smiling softly. "I was going to ask if you're free to hang right now. Could grab some food or something?"

"Oh," I said, realising she was asking me out. "I– erm–"

It sounded fun, and why couldn't I enjoy a dinner with a cute girl? Smile forming on my lips, I was about to agree, but then the devil's spawn herself decided to appear.

"There you are," Jackie said, looking to me, either oblivious to my annoyance or choosing to ignore it.

"Didn't take long," Olivia mumbled to herself, but I heard it. Clearing her throat, she said to me, "I'm gonna guess you're busy tonight?"

"Oh, there's an after game party," Jackie answered for me, making me clench my jaw. "Kind of a tradition."

Olivia forced a smile. "Right."

"I never go anyway," I said quickly, earning her attention, and receiving a glare from Jackie who I so desperately wished would leave. "I can–"

"The others are asking if you'll go tonight actually," Jackie interrupted, flashing a sickly sweet smile at me.

If looks could kill, she'd be toast right now. Who the hell did she think she was to step in right now? She'd shown me how she felt – she didn't have a right to do this.

"Never mind," Olivia said, already backing up. "Enjoy."

Losing my glare, I looked to Olivia, ready to apologise, but she'd already walked off to join her friends and I knew I'd only make it worse.

"Huh, I was right," Jackie mumbled to herself, which reminded me she was still standing there and very much the reason Olivia hated me now.

"What the hell d'you do that for?!" I shouted at her.

She raised her brows, feigning confusion. "Do what?"

I clenched my fists with frustration. "No! You don't just get to do that!"

She shook her head. "What?"

I scowled, looking between her eyes with annoyance. "Care. You led me on. Used me as– I don't even know what! Some sort of rebound? An experiment? Either way, it was horrible, and now you don't get to just come in and stop me from accepting dates. You're nothing to me, Jackie."

As I spoke, she began to frown, only serving to piss me off further. How could she act like the victim right now? I was the one who'd been played!

"I didn't use you," she said weakly, but I could only step back and fix her with a glare.

"Leave me alone," I warned her once more, not bothering to stay behind to see what she'd say.

The weekend passed and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking of Jackie the whole time. I wished I'd never found her crying after her breakup with Jeff because then I wouldn't have felt the need to check on her and she wouldn't have felt the need to be my friend. My life was a whole lot easier when she wasn't in it, and yet I still couldn't stop thinking of her. She was bad for me, so why did I still care about her?

I hadn't seen her since the game on Friday night, and despite the fact that she'd literally humiliated me, I still felt guilty for shouting at her. I wasn't someone who got angry easily, but truthfully, it wasn't anger. My heart hurt and who else to take it out on than the girl who broke it?

It was foolish of me to even feel that way, since we weren't anything. She'd never said she cared about me as more than a friend, she hadn't really done anything out of the ordinary except kiss me, which had clearly been a mistake. Her flirtatious behaviour was just typical Jackie. I knew what I was getting myself into. I guess this whole thing was my fault in a way.

Trying to take my mind off it, I stayed back after school to start putting my end of year portfolio together for photography class. I was grateful that nobody else was here, needing the quiet to simply get lost in my school work and nothing else.

I was considering some photographs on the desk when the sound of the door opening startled me. Nobody was supposed to be here, but when I turned around, my surprise faded into irritation at the sight of Jackie.

"Okay, seriously, do you need me to sing it you?" I asked with disbelief. "Write it down? Get a fucking sky writer?! Leave me alone, Jackie!"

"Wait," she said quickly, closing the door behind her and letting herself in, making me groan. "Please, I just– I have something to say."

I rolled my eyes, looking back to my photos with hopes she'd get the hint. "What? You finally figure your shit out?"

It was sarcastic, so I definitely didn't expect her to say, "Yeah. I broke up with Jeff."

My brows knitted together with confusion when I looked to her again. "You what?"

She licked her lips, grateful for the relief in tension. "After the game on Friday. I ended it."

I was certainly shocked to hear that she'd done that, but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction. Crossing my arms, I tried to appear indifferent. "So what?"

She exhaled softly, steadily approaching me until she was stood right in front of me. Her hazel eyes, looking brown as they met mine, held my gaze with determination.

"You weren't an experiment," she said guiltily. "You weren't a rebound either. I never meant to hurt you, Y/N."

I frowned, eyes flickering between hers. Both my frustration and distress were building up because she seemed to be telling the truth, and it wasn't fair. She still did it. She broke my heart.

"Then what?" I asked, hands trembling. "How else can it seem when you–" I paused, glancing at the classroom door which was closed. Still, I lowered my voice for her sake. "When you kissed me – which, by the way, you initiated – then, before I can even discuss it with you, you get back together with your boyfriend? How?!"

She frowned, shaking her head as she looked down to her hands. "It was horrible, I know. You have to know how much I regret it."

"Gee, thanks," I said bitterly, and she was quick to look up again, worried.

"Wait, no, that's not what I meant," she explained. "I regret getting back together with Jeff, not kissing you. I– I liked that a lot." She was unusually nervous, swallowing visibly. "I like you."

My heart was confused as I studied her expression, seeing nothing but honesty.

"I should've said something," she admitted. "I didn't know that I'd fall for you, Y/N. I've never even liked a girl. Especially not one who's so sure of herself."

I scoffed, meeting her confused look with a knowing one. "Seriously? You're Jackie fucking Taylor, the most confident girl in school."

"Not always," she said with a wince. "Clearly."

I watched her, struggling to accept what she was saying.

"I understand if you hate me," she said, straightening up and meeting my gaze with a solemn one. "And I'll truly leave you alone, as you wish. Just say the word."

I pressed my lips together, seeing the serious expression on her face. I couldn't just say the word, because no matter how hard I'd tried to hate her, I just couldn't. All I'd really wanted was for her to like me, too.

She stood patiently, probably would have stood there for the rest of the day, waiting for me to speak. And I hated it because she'd hurt me deeply, but now I understood why. And even after everything, I still wanted her.

"Y/N?"

For once, I stopped overthinking and just kissed her, eyes closing when my lips met hers. She breathed out and lifted her hand to rest on my neck, pulling me closer and sending shivers down my spine at the contact. It was desperate, I was aware, but I couldn't get enough of her taste, her floral scent reminding me of last time, the adrenaline rush.

Without meaning to, her back hit her the desk behind her, but other than a brief readjustment, we continued to make out, my head spinning with thoughts of how good she felt so close to me. Stupid pretty girls and their stupid pretty faces.

We pulled apart for air, but I didn't let go of her just yet. My heart was thumping in my chest as I caught my breath, lips tingling as they craved for hers yet again.

"I really like you too," I said without thinking, eyes flickering to hers. "That's why it stung when you did what you did. Why I was so angry."

She nodded slowly in understanding. "I'm sorry."

I sighed, closing my eyes as I tried to collect my thoughts, but it was pretty damn difficult when she was still invading every sense of mine and I welcomed it.

"I don't know how I can trust you," I admitted, opening my eyes and being met with her determined expression.

"You can," she promised.

"What if you decide you don't want this anymore?" I asked, not wanting to doubt her feelings, but not prepared to start something that could end in heartbreak. "What if you think you've made a mistake? Start to miss Jeff? Then what, Jackie?"

"That won't happen," she said with certainty, thumb stroking my cheek.

"But it could."

She frowned, eyes boring into mine as if trying to make me understand. Finally, she said, "I'll spend forever proving you wrong."

I got lost in her eyes, so full of conviction that I had no choice but to believe her. Maybe some things were worth the risk. She certainly was.

"I'd love to see that," I said after a moment, an attempt at a joke.

She paused, trying to digest my words, and then she cracked a small smile.

"I forgive you," I told her. "I know how hard it can be to admit your feelings to yourself, especially for the first time."

She was hopeful, and I was suddenly overcome with an excitement because Jackie Taylor was stood in my arms, telling me she liked me, and I wasn't dreaming.

"Can I kiss you?" she asked, making me smile.

A simple nod and then she captured my bottom lip between hers, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter a storm. Unlike before, this kiss was slower than the others, more considerate, and I knew then and there that I'd never get sick of her lips.

She pulled away after leaving me breathless, her eyes half lidded when they looked from my lips to my eyes. "How was that for proving you wrong?"

I let out a breathy chuckle, admittedly a little flustered. "It's a start."

A smug smile appeared on her lips and then she was kissing me again, laughing as she did.

Lil bonus scene:

This was the least peppiest pep rally I'd ever been to, producing the worst photos I could take because everybody looked bored. As the principal made a speech about how 'good' the baseball team were doing this year, I snapped a few photos but ultimately sat bored in the front row. Everybody was much more excited for the star of the show – the Yellowjackets.

And after what felt like forever, the school band began to play their instruments and the soccer team began making their way in. Like a switch had been flipped, all the students in the bleachers stood up, cheering and applauding and celebrating their favourite sports team.

A much better subject, I began to photograph the crowd, all dressed in the bright yellow and blue school colours, waving signs and beaming with painted faces. And then my focus shifted to the team themselves, who were lining up before the crowd, grins on their faces. Despite the principal trying to calm everyone down so he could make his speech about how great they were doing, nobody would listen, still cheering on the team.

As I was snapping photos of them all, Jackie caught my eye and a playful smirk was on her lips when she winked at me. Even after the month we'd been together so far, she still left me nervous sometimes, thought I'd accepted that was what came with dating someone as self-assured as Jackie Taylor. We hadn't broadcasted our relationship by any means, but students at school weren't stupid and they were beginning to put it together. I didn't mind though, and I hoped she didn't either.

Finally, the principal managed to quieten everyone down long enough to make a speech worth listening to, expressing his pride in the Yellowjackets and wishing them luck as they prepared for the game tomorrow which would determine whether they'd make it to nationals.

After he finished, the band played them out, along with the audience's cheering, and then everybody began to leave. I was one of the last few to go, making my way out of the sports hall, only to be pulled to the side suddenly, realising Jackie had been waiting for me.

"Someone took their time," she said impatiently, crossing her arms, now wearing her varsity jacket over her soccer uniform.

"Someone was doing their job," I reminded her with a smile, wiggling my camera in the air.

At this, she quirked a brow. "You got my good side, right?"

I laughed. "Jackie Taylor doesn't have a bad side. She knows it too."

She began to smile, flicking her hair in agreement, and I rolled my eyes playfully.

"You look cute with your face paint on," I told her, referring to the little yellow jacket painted on her cheek.

"It's called school pride," she said, before giving me a disapproving look. "You didn't dress up."

"Again, I was busy photographing everything," I said, raising my camera for emphasis.

"Well, we can't have that," she said, tutting, and then she pulled off her varsity jacket and attempted to wrap it around me, but I stopped her.

"Wait," I said, realising what she was doing.

"What?"

I stared at her knowingly. "It's your jacket."

"Duh."

"Yeah," I agreed in a matter-of-fact tone, "but–"

"I'm giving it to you," she said simply, confused when I wouldn't put my arms in it as she held it open.

"You can't," I said, wondering if she was playing dumb or what.

She furrowed her brows. "What? Why?"

I amended my comment, "I mean, yeah, you can, but you know that people will put two and two together, right? You give me that and it'll be, like, an actual confirmation to everyone that we're dating."

Still, she wasn't following as she stared with raised brows. "Okay? And...?"

Now it was my turn to be confused. "You don't mind?"

Finally catching on to why I was questioning her, she relaxed and lowered the jacket momentarily. "That's sweet of you to ask, but no, I don't mind." She paused, before glancing at me worriedly. "Wait, do you?"

I sighed, before an amused smile formed on my lips. "No, I don't. I just didn't want you to feel like you had to."

Her expression softened, smile appearing on her lips and matching the sparkle in her eyes. "I want to. Now, come here."

This time, I let her help me into her jacket, immediately engulfed in her scent and warmth and not minding in the slightest. She stepped back, admiring her handiwork, eyes looking me up and down for several seconds too long and leaving me with a warm face.

"I should've given you this sooner," she said, impressed, and I rolled my eyes at her pride.

She chuckled before pulling me in for a quick kiss, and then we walked hand in hand down the hallway.

"You know that this means you have to be my number one fan now, right?" she asked, giving me a sideways glance.

I tried not to laugh as I said, "But I already supported the team–"

"No, not the team's fan," she cut me off nonchalantly, "mine. Me. Player number nine."

At her dead serious expression, I began to chuckle quietly. "Nine. My new favourite number, darling."

A smile crept on her lips. "Good."

[heartz4shauna]

shaunanat headcanons? 😋

warnings: erm none. all pre-crash headcanons i guess but it doesn’t make a difference

hello! so so sorry this took me so long to do i didn’t want to. anyway hope this is okay !! i wrote this whilst watching titanic in the corner of my screen so. heavily influenced probably

shauna who writes little love letters and poems for natalie when she has a free period.

natalie who, despite saying she doesn’t like that cheesy stuff, keeps the notes shauna gives her under her bed in a shoebox.

shauna who loves listening to nirvana. not because she likes the music, no no. but because she gets to see natalie bop her head to the beat and pretend to play guitar.

natalie who always asks shauna how she gets her hair so shiny. as natalie bleached her hair, she thinks her hair is fried and scratchy, whilst shauna has virgin hair and would never think about doing anything to it. shauna doesn’t mind natalie’s “fried” and “scratchy” hair. in fact, she loves playing with it, mainly because she thinks natalie’s hum of contentment is endearing.

shauna who loves sci-fi movies, especially ones like back to the future. she always drags natalie over to her house, “trust me. there’s this new one out, i’ve heard it’s really good.”

natalie who used to think science fiction was for nerds. once she got to watching a few, she actually began to like them and even bought some on vhs to watch at home. she prefers thrillers overall though.

shauna who doesn’t wear a whole lot of jewellery, she trusts a solid pair of earrings to hold her outfit together, maybe a dainty necklace if she’s feeling it. she loves to buy jewellery for nat, though.

natalie who has a huge collection of rings, earrings, necklaces, the things alike. she loves chunky necklaces and layering them, too. almost every special occasion, she’s gifted a new pair of earrings or ring from shauna. cheap ones, of course, but she loves them nonetheless.

shauna who is willing to get into a fist fight with any fucker who tries to talk shit about her or natalie.

natalie who reassures shauna that it’s not a big deal, she’s used to it. shauna can’t stand it though.

shauna who traces soft circles over natalie’s skin whilst she’s sleeping. she likes to watch over natalie as she sleeps, knowing that she’s safe next to her.

natalie who often pretends to be asleep, just so she can feel that soft, caring touch. she mostly pretends to sleep normally after a long day of practice; shauna’s soft hands such a great change from the roughness of the field.

shauna who is always the one to host their sleepovers, especially when things aren’t great at natalie’s. she sets up a blanket on the couch, popcorn and a movie for when natalie shows up at her door looking a little bit gloomy, pillow in hand.

natalie who feels guilty looking to stay at shauna’s almost every other night. she feels like she takes up too much room and doesn’t help out enough. truth is, shauna could never be happier, knowing that the girl she loves the most, finds comfort in her.

shauna who is not a morning person. she usually wakes up early, though. she’s always super groggy until it hits around 11am. she prefers the quiet and stillness of the night. once everyone has gone to bed and it’s just her and her blondie.

natalie who couldn’t agree more. she hates the busyness of the morning, the chaos of getting ready. she normally wakes up about 15 minutes before school starts, but she’s rarely tardy. she prefers the late night drives to the gas station, for whatever it may be, the loudness of tens of people talking at a party, she prefers that over arguing any day.

shauna who prefers dogs over cats. frankly because she thinks dogs are kinder than cats, more friendly and less stuck up.

natalie who prefers cats. she likes the poise and elegance of cats. the smoothness of the way they move and how little they shed.

shauna who collects vinyls.

natalie who collects cds.

shauna who prefers tea.

natalie who prefers coffee.

shauna who prefers going to a pool. she hates the feel of sand and prefers the closed-offness and privacy of a pool. she likes reading by the pool, without a bunch of kids kicking up sand as they run past her.

natalie who prefers going to the beach. she loves the patterns of seashells and skipping them into the water. she prefers the open-ness of the beach. she says, if she could, she would swim to the other side of the world.

shaunanat who are my babygirls and should have no bad things happen to them ever!!!

[lesbianjackies]

the yellowjackets’ favorite books hcs bc i saw one of these and disagreed with all of them 👍

jackie: okay i’m so sorry but this girl only reads trashy romance novels she found on booktok. it drives shauna BONKERS because she’s incapable of getting jackie to read anything she likes.

natalie: i don’t think she’s a reader but if she was she would be a comic girlie. dc > marvel and she gets into fights with van over it regularly.

laura lee: she genuinely really likes theology books and she FOR SURE grew up on american girl and still loves them. she will pick up anything if she hears it’s gay or christian but she has really high standards and she’ll dnf any book that doesn’t meet them.

lottie: she’s an astrology girlie for SURE so i think she reads a lot of books on that to compile as much knowledge as she can (so she can psychoanalyze her friends). i also feel like she was a greek mythology kid so i think she’s read a lot of the original myths and likes a few select retellings (but they’re not the popular ones. she, like laura lee, has really high standards).

van: okay SHE is like definitely a comic girlie for sure. marvel > dc. she’s also just into those classic middle grade books every queer person read as a kid like harry potter and percy jackson and still has a lot of nostalgia for them. oh she was also a warrior cats kid for SURE. lmao.

misty: WARRIOR CATS KID AND IT SCREWED HER UP FOR LIFE. big into harry potter & lord of the rings and also just random niche fantasy series. reads a LOT and she’s active in a lot of fandom circles and she tries to get everyone she talks to into the books she reads.

taissa: def a nonfiction girlie. books on law, books on feminism, books on queer history… van thinks everything she reads is boring as fuck and she thinks everything van reads is stupid. true love 🫶

travis: ough okay i think travis is ALSO a comic girlie. but i think she’s more niche with it. i think she likes like….. umbrella academy type shit idk. and i think as a kid she was into stuff that was “for girls” until her dad bullied it out of her and now she gets really upset when she sees those series / hears someone talk about how they read them.

shauna: CLASSICS. brontë sisters, jane austen, edgar allan poe, emily dickinson…… yeah. she’s SO pretentious about it too she has two copies of each book so she can have a pretty one on her shelf and then a torn up copy that she can write notes in and she’s always carrying books around and reading them in public to show people she’s smart……. yeahhhh.

mari: mari doesn’t read that’s for fucking nerds. (she was a warrior cats kid and she’s obsessed with harry potter, percy jackson, and the lord of the rings. tell anyone and she’ll hurt you badly.)

akilah: rainbow fairies kid!!!!!! doesn’t read as much as she used to; if she does pick up a book it’s gotta be something that really speaks to and connects with her.