#shakespeare clownery

[cto10121]

Shakespeare Clown Takes—Damn Anti-Stratfordians Can’t Shut Up About Books

He was friends with a PUBLISHER, ffs. From his literal hometown!!!! And he went to grammar school!!!!!

Apart from his patrons (Henry Carey, Southampton, KING JAMES I, William and Phillip Herbert), he also made friends with literal rich/wealthy/titled people with libraries and tons of resources, including:

The Combes (left 10 pounds and gave one his sword)

The Russells/Digges (made one overseer of his will)

The Davenants (also rumored to be banging the wife and siring an illegitimate son)

Also “couldn’t sign his own name” NOBODY COULD. There was no set universal standards for English spelling at the time. People could and did write their name however they damn pleased (Marlowe once wrote his name as Merlin! Good for him!). Their signatures also ranged from neat to chicken scratches, much like the modern signatures of today.

Also. We literally have a couple of pages of Shakespeare’s handwriting, some foul papers for a collaborative play. It’s over, antis. You’ve lost.

[cto10121]

Sigh

Van Der Merwe pointed out that even the language of scansion — which syllables should be stressed or unstressed in Shakespeare’s verse — has patriarchy baked into it. Students in theatre training programs learn about so-called “feminine endings…meaning that the line ends on a weak beat,” explained Van Der Merwe, as opposed to “masculine endings,” where the line ends on a strong one. 

On the other hand, “if you live in Anglophone Canada,” said Schweitzer, “you will be inundated with [Shakespeare] in some form or other, whether it’s tourist mugs with Shakespeare’s face, or in newspaper accounts of some production…or just in everyday speech.”

[legendary-69420]

☆o( F1 Drivers Clowning Mark & Charles Over "Accidental" Love Confessions )o☆

warnings : very subtle nsfw a/n : This is part 2 of the series. This is not the part of my story racing hearts but is another AU for my character. Hope you enjoy it.

______________________________________________________________

Group Chat Chaos: Tongue Slips, Accidental "I Love You's," and Full-On Clownery

🏎️ Group Chat Name: "F1 Clownery HQ" 🏎️

Yuki: BROOOOOOOO. Max: Don’t "bro" us without context. Lando: Yeah, what happened? Yuki: Live footage from post-race interview attached Lewis: Watching… Lando: Watching… Max: Watching… **5 minutes later *Max:* NO. NO NO NO. DID HE JUST- Lewis: 😭😭😭 Not Charles accidentally saying "I love you" to Mark on live TV. Lando: THE WAY MARK DIDN’T EVEN FLINCH. HE JUST WENT "I KNOW." Yuki: THAT MAN IS TOO POWERFUL. Mark: I know y’all are talking about me. Max: Oh, look. It’s the man who got a whole public love confession and acted like it was Tuesday. Lewis: No, because the interviewer was SHOCKED. The way he went "Did you just say you love him?" and Charles looked like he was about to combust. Lando: Man hit the reboot screen like Windows XP. Yuki: "Please wait while system updates." Max: Charles.exe has stopped working 😭 Charles: I hate all of you. Mark: Aww, love you too, babe. Max: I’M SCREAMING.

Later That Night

Mark: Why are y’all still clowning? Lando: "I love you" is wild, bro. Yuki: You’re telling me he slipped like that and now he’s radio silent? Max: Man saw his entire career flash before his eyes. Mark: He’s not that dramatic. Lewis: Charles has gone offline Lando: He’s literally that dramatic. Yuki: Right, he’d probably be pacing his living room right now like he’s in a Shakespeare play. Max: "Oh, sweet fate, what have I done?" 🕯️🎭

Meanwhile in Charles' Apartment

Charles (typing… deleting… typing… deleting…) Charles: Guys, I didn’t mean it like that. Max: Sir, you said, "I love you" with chest. Yuki: And your whole accent made it sound like a confession from a romance movie. Lando: "Mon amour, je t'aime" type beat. Mark: Can’t lie, it was kinda romantic. Charles: DON’T ENCOURAGE THEM. Lewis: "Don’t encourage them," he says, like he didn’t just soft-launch his wedding vows on live TV.

Two Days Later (Track Walk)

Carlos: What’s this I hear about "I love you’s" being thrown around like Pirelli tires? Mark: Oh, you heard? Must be a slow news week. Carlos: No, but I did hear that Charles is whipped. Charles: I’m literally right here. Carlos: Yes. And so is Mark, apparently. Right next to you. As usual. Mark: I’m a people person, what can I say? Carlos: People person? You barely talk to anyone but Charles. Mark: 🤷‍♂️ Priorities, man.

Group Chat Shenanigans: Round 2

Yuki: WAIT. WAIT. STOP EVERYTHING. Lando: What now. Yuki: Just saw this on Twitter. **screenshot of Charles saying, "Mon amour, you left your hoodie last night" under Mark's post *Max:* NO WAY. Lewis: NOOOOOOO. CHARLES, THIS IS YOUR BURNER ACCOUNT ERA. YOU CAN’T JUST DO THIS PUBLICLY. Lando: YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO DO IT LIKE THAT. Charles: It's just a hoodie. Mark: Oh please, you’ve been inside of me. Yuki: 😶 Lando: 😶 Max: 😶 Lewis: 😶 Max: OKAY. EVERYONE SHUT UP. Lando: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT. Yuki: I’M AT DINNER WITH MY FAMILY, MARK. Max: THIS IS A FORMAL REQUEST FOR THERAPY SESSIONS. Charles: 😳 Mark: Y’all made it weird. Lewis: NO, YOU MADE IT WEIRD. Carlos: Why is my phone blowing up? Lando: LEAVE. SAVE YOUR INNOCENCE.

Race Day Mayhem

Lando: Did anyone hear the team radio? Yuki: You mean Charles saying, "This guy says he’s tough but squirms when I kis-" before getting cut off? Max: OH I HEARD. Lewis: WE ALL HEARD. FIA heard. Children heard. Carlos: I’m retiring. Mark: If you see me on track today, no you didn’t. Max: YOU’RE NOT SAFE, MARK. NOT FROM US.

Post-Race Reactions

Yuki: Charles, P3. Mark, P2. Everybody wins… except us because we now have to live with the knowledge of that radio slip. Lando: If Charles ever says “squirm” again, I’m uninstalling life. Max: I’m not even joking. I’m seeing a priest. Mark: Y’all are weak. Lewis: And yet you’re still squirming. Charles: I’m going to block all of you. Lando: You’ll never block Mark, though. Mark: Aww, love you too, babe. Charles: SHUT UP.

Driver Interviews

Reporter: Charles, about that radio message— Charles (nervous laughing): Next question, please. Reporter: But— Charles: Next. Question. Mark (from off-screen): What’s wrong, love? Charles: I’M LEAVING.

“They’re So Obvious” — Guest Commentary

Carlos: "They’re not even hiding it anymore." Max: "They never were, Carlos. They just thought they were being sneaky." Lando: "That radio slip was the last straw. The ship is sailing, and Charles is the captain." Yuki: "At this point, they should start charging us for the romcom we’re living through." Lewis: "They already are. It’s called F1 TV Pro."

Group Chat Finale

Yuki: Should we tell them we know? Lando: No. Never. Max: They must suffer. Lewis: I’m framing that "I love you" clip. Mark: I’m about to block this whole chat. Charles: Wait for me. Max: BLOCK EACH OTHER LIKE YOU HAVEN’T BEEN BLOCKING OUT YOUR FEELINGS FOR MONTHS. Lando: DROP THE FACADE. DROP IT.

This level of chaos? Pure gold. Mark and Charles, public enemies-turned-lovers, fumbled confessions, tongue slips, and suspicious hoodies. The group chat never lets them forget. Charles might try to play it cool, but Max, Lando, Yuki, Lewis, and Carlos and the whole grid? They live for the drama.

______________________________________________________________ (If you want to know more about Mark...you can read it here in my story Racing hearts)

[lifblogs]

Get to Know Me Tag Game

Rules: IN A NEW POST answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with.

Tagged by: @just-here-with-my-thoughts (thank you!)

Favorite color: Blue!

Last song: “The Lighthouse” by Halsey

Currently reading: A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas, Dracula by Bram Stoker, The Silmarillion by J. R. R. Tolkien, Troilus and Cressida by William Shakespeare, and Moby-Dick by Herman Melville, and hopefully I’ll be less stressed by fandom soon and can keep reading fanfic

Currently watching: Arcane, The Clone Wars, and The Dragon Prince, and I so need to catch up on House of the Dragon

Currently craving: Not feeling half-dead, and for my crush to message me (he might not have gotten my contact information yet since someone else is doing it for me, long story)

Coffee or tea: Hot chocolate

A hobby you would like to try: Cooking!

A discipline you’ll follow during the Olympics: None. I’ve never been interested in the Olympics.

An AU/Alternate Universe you’ve been plotting for: *rubs hands together* Ooh! My Bad Batch Mistborn AU! Been trying to figure out where Echo gets spikes put in him and what metal. He’ll be in pain, powerful, and mind-controlled like the inhibitor chip by the Empire! So it’s also an AU of “what if Crosshair wasn’t the one who had a semi-working chip?” Omega is insanely powerful in this too. Everyone gets powers relating to their in-canon skillsets. It’s pretty cool.

Tagging: @evilwriter37, @clownery-and-fuckery, @squad-724, and @marvel-starwarsfangirl

[megandzane]

Remember when people said Harry wasn’t worthy of getting “this” ??

Thank goodness , it’s hard to unsee and I’d have to move him down on the hotness scale.

[bens-underoos]

This! 1000%! You are channelling Shakespeare himself! I can’t for the life of me understand how Colin would go into fits of rage over this. FOOLISHMENT! Like- she SAVED you! You would’ve been tricked into raising someone else’s kids as your own and let’s be clear, she had zero feelings for Colin, not even an amoeba’s worth of feeling for him. SMDH yet he’s going to get pissy with hurt feefees because Pen didn’t tell him she was Lady Whistledown??And Eloise…maybe she’d have preferred a stay at Her Majesty’s pleasure at Newgate…she did what she did to protect her…misguided maybe but folks out here saying the betrayal is worse than that Marina mess. Lord no. Pure clownery.

I can't take anyone who compares not telling you are pregnant with another man's child, and will use you and your feelings for my own sake without remorse, with not telling you're a gossip columnist - that actually has only told the truth in my publishing material & give my opinion that you all made a success by buying, and not sorry if you're all messy & can't handle your acts and words - serious.

[eganantiquus]

i didn't know i was in othello

[justaaveragereader]

I’m okay..I’m okay… hahahaHAHAHA IM OKAY😀😭! Chapter one and I’m already soft. I want NO ONE TO TALK TO ME RN! "She sounds truly wonderful." Taken aback by the sudden voice you look down to see a man standing in the moonlight, he was ethereal, blonde hair moving with the light breeze.’ Just standing outside y/n window like clock work. Seonghwa going along with the Shakespeare has me screaming into my pillow rn. Ladies and gentlemen never settle, get someone who will entertain your clownery like Seonghwa in this fic😭. Chapter one and I’m already melting in the floor from the fluff. My cheeks are matching the skin around my overly bleached eyebrows rn, RED AS HELL🤭😚!

✩pt.1: I told the moon about you

✩ paring: celestial!Seonghwa x f!reader

✩ genre: Hwa moon au, fluff, romance, strangers to lovers

✩ summery: At the end of the day, all she has is books, music, and her letters to the moon. Someday someone will bring the moon down for her in the shape of their love… .who knew it would’ve been the moon himself.

✩ warnings: cheesy romance, suggestive, mentions of loss (mc lost a family member and talks about it), sad themes, Seonghwa flirting👀😂, very cheesy flirting🤭

✩ wordcount: 835

✩ taglist: @justaaveragereader ​, @marievllr-abg ​, @owlmylove ​, @hwaightme ​, @layzfeelit ​, @bae4choi​, @jackinmyarea

✩ a/n: Taglist is open! Just shoot me an ask!💚 This chapter was cute!! akjnrgk especially when mc and Hwa meet🥹 Man they were so cute😭🤭 Had me giggling while I was writing it!! Ooh also did you know that it takes 27 days, 7 hours, and 43 minutes for our Moon to complete one full orbit around Earth!

Keep reading

[cto10121]

Clown OP: Shakespeare has tons of pop cultural references, homeboy was obsessed!1!!1!!1! 🤪

Shakespearean scholars trying to date literally any play: So based on this random reference to an earthquake, we believe this play was written in either 1590 when this earthquake happened OR in 1594/5 when that other earthquake happened OR it could have been written in the late 1580s when Shakespeare was parking horses OR it could be the early 1590s because some passages that computer analysis date to that time OR it could be a completely fictional earthquake that Shakespeare just invented for the purposes of the play hahahahahahahahahahaha kill me

[goblin-phannie]

📍 you have arrived at procrastination station. please familiarise yourself with your local environment.

hello internet, i thought i would do something like a ccard (but not a ccard because who has the time) for my various hyperfixations and navigations on this blog!

here you can find my reference dump blog for things like writing, nerdery and art

here is my looking for alaska sideblog where my indie/alt side reaches final form

here is my musical theatre trash blog. i have no regrets shut up

this is my twitter and this is my bluesky where i will occasionally try to be funny and this is my instagram where i occasionally try to be cute. this is my tiktok where i try to be both. i also release songs sometimes (maybe) (eventually) (when i do i will post about it here <3)

follow me on more things. i want fame ❤️

uhhh as for tags..... ima just do them in a list of things i can remember: dan & phil (dan tag) (phil tag); phandom art; ghoul boys; dc; arcane; community; parks & recreation; ted lasso; stranger things; d&d; dimension 20; critical role; wandavision; taylor swift; science side of tumblr; biology; various things i relate to; art: england; animals; happy tag; favourite movie ever; cat content; pupper content; adhd; aesthetic; studio ghibli; the muppets; pokémon; star wars; the hunger games; pirates of the caribbean; our flag means death; lord of the rings; shakespeare; halloween/christmas; important info/current events; charity; general reference; uquizzes; best of tumblr; short stories from tumblr, etc. more examples to follow. i don’t remember how i organised this goblin pile

stuff i made & posted on tumblr can be found under #mine, #rambles, #shut up annie, and #annie rambles *peace sign* selfie content & photos of what my irl face looks like can be found under #self 😙✌️

i may return to include more here later. for now relish in your opportunity to stalk me online and please scroll for more clownery and cat content. okgoodbye<3

[internalsealpanic]

Do It Yourself Hauntings

Summary: You and Terry get extremely bored while on a group date as you walk through a haunted house. Terry has a brilliant idea that’s sure to chase away your boredom. 

masterlist

a/n: Guess who is flagrantly avoiding homework to write a fic? So this is Cat!Reader x Terry McGinnis. Reader is still as gender neutral as I can make them so I went with the name ‘Stray’. A tid bit I could not write in organically is that reader is painfully shy in their civilian identity but has little to no inhibitions when in their night time persona. Another clarification is that this is the outfit I had in mind. It was legit the thing I had my heart set on when my lizard brain said Catwoman character.   

Warnings: Adult language, clowns, clownery, and this maybe a tinsy bit spicy at one point (I tried) (kind of? Look, I just don’t want anyone going all mother superior on me. Just in case. ).

You were incredibly, stupidly, magnificently bored.

You shifted on your heels, letting them click and echo trying to distract yourself from the thrum of excess energy surging through your body.

It-It didn’t work.

The clicking only made you more anxious, plucking at your taut nerves like well-tuned guitar strings.

It probably didn’t help that you just came back from a dazzling night of heists and getting shot at. Adrenaline still flowing through your veins like molten ichor. Heart still floundering in your chest as if- at any moment- the cops would come rushing in and you would have to make your daring, if not dramatic, escape.

Between this and the sorry attempt at jump scares the poor underpaid actors subjected you to, your head started aching and your mood plummeted into something vile. Thankfully, your group was none-the-wiser unless all of them spontaneously decided to master micro-expressions then you were the picture of an apprehensive young adult trekking through a cheap haunted house.

Why did you agree to this again?

Pulse still pounding loudly in your ears and content with letting the others have their fun, you silently fall into the back of the group. There was a higher chance that you would encounter the cringe-inducing scares but you weren’t too concerned. Nope. You were more worried about the very real possibility that you might deck Nelson or Chelsea or Blade or whoever the fuck decided that girls need to play scared to make guys feel cool. Ok, yeah, the last one.

When Chelsea did another ill-timed flinch, scrabbling for Nelson’s arm, and Nelson ate it up, you swore your eyes would roll their way out of their sockets. Whoever popularized this needed to be shot. Twice.

There was always a possibility that they weren’t faking it, that they were genuinely terrified but you highly doubted it considering if anything actually scary happened, Nelson would be the first one to run.

Neck deep in your musings, you hadn’t noticed as Terry slowed to keep pace with you. He leaned down close enough to brush his lips against your skin and blew a light gust into your ear.  You jumped clutching your ear feeling the heat spread through your body. You twitched away. The memory of his lips against your ear making your stomach dance. Your skin prickled with curiosity-

 You glowered at him. You prayed that the embarrassment plain on your body language did not dampen the venom in your eyes.

“Told ya I could be scary,”

He winked.

You sighed.

Of course, he hadn’t let that go.

You rolled your head to the side and shrank into your puffy leather jacket trying to hide the bright flush of your cheeks. From the absolutely smarmy grin he gave you, he was enjoying this. Was this payback? It was probably payback. Payback for all the slag you said over the comms, the flirty little touches, or all the little kisses you dealt him every time you encountered him in the field.

Here’s a novel concept! Maybe don’t dish out what you can’t take.

“Compared to this place? Yeah,”

“Ouch, what’s got you in a mood?”

You leveled him a look. Terry leveled you with his own. You tilted your head ever so slightly to show the bruise blooming on your collar bone. He winced. His jaw clenched.  You instantly regretted showing him when his brows were carved with guilt. Normally, you liked looking at Terry. Easy on the eyes kind of handsome. He only looked punchable in the Batsuit. But you could never stand the guilt and worry on his face, especially when you were the cause. It wasn’t even his fault. You took the blow knowing your armor wasn’t quite as enforced. That was on you.

You sucked in a breath and rolled your shoulders contorting yourself away from the ever-present need to apologize. Instead, you waved your hand vaguely at the cheaply constructed haunted house. “Admit it, this place is-” 

“isn’t that-” He looked around rubbing the back of his neck. “-bad?”

“Terry, the scariest thing about this place is how many credits I wasted,” you deadpanned looking down at your, now, lighter wallet. It wasn’t physically lighter but you were a drama queen and you had a point to make.

Terry chuckled at your antics and rolled his eyes. “It’s got its charms,” You raised your brow and crossed your arms. His shoulders slumped then straightened, a teasing quirk to his lip curling.   “Still better than doing that family studies paper,”

Ok, that you could agree on.

The rest of the walk was marginally bearable with you and Terry providing quiet commentary on each scare. It was hard to hold back laughter. Your body shook, nearly falling into a giggle fit several times. You got dirty looks from the others several times for the transgression of ‘ruining’ the mood.  You were a little impressed that they had managed to make a mood for you to ruin. After all, what’s more romantic than zombie clowns and warehouses?

 Your sides ached. You really wanted to just let out a laugh, a real full belly laugh but you hated your laugh. Terry, you thought, was aware of your broken plate laugh. Why did he keep trying to draw it out?

Your group made it into a large clearing. Your anxiety immediately ratcheted up with the wide-open space but relaxed after scanning the room. There was nowhere to put

Creaking and scraping of old rusty metals resonated in every corner.

Terry nudged you and pointed upward, directing your attention to the silhouette moving around in the rafters.

Your heart stopped momentarily but picked back up again as soon as you saw the graceless way the figure moved around.

A clown covered in gore and shards of metal jumped down from the rafters landing in the middle of your ragtag group. You scattered. You heard a few gasps. You even saw Nelson flinch. You took some petty satisfaction in being right.

You yawned less concerned with the crazy act he was putting on and more with how the hell he hasn’t landed on a single patron. You made your boredom plain. You’ve seen crazy.  Your sides throbbed in protest of the reminder.

You looked down to distract yourself only to be met with the sight of floppy red clown shoes. Genuine, floppy, red clown shoes. You pinched the bridge of your nose and bit your lip. Your body trembled from trying to contain the laughter roiling in your stomach.

The man continued to spout something about keeping you all here for his entertainment. Blah. Blah. You crossed your ankles and leaned ever so  slightly into Terry’s space, cocking your head to the opposite side.  You yawned into your hand muffling the sound as best you could in an attempt to be polite. Terry had other ideas.

Terry leaned down into your ear making an exaggerated snoring sound.  An ugly snort tore its way out of your nostrils loud enough to be heard over the clown’s overly dramatic soliloquy. You felt everyone’s eyes on you. You clamped your hand over your mouth to stifle the onslaught of snorts rising up from your chest. You narrowed your eyes at Terry who, at the moment, was also fighting his own fit of laughter. You couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you, in solidarity, tried not to laugh too hard at the expense of the wannabe Shakespeare actor.

You kind of felt bad.

Maybe.

Ok, you did. But not nearly enough to actually stop laughing. In your defense, Ace had more acting chops than this guy. But kudos, he was really into the bit.

He lunged at the two of you, fuming with smoke coming out of his ears. Terry grabbed you pressing you to his side and wrapping a protective arm around you. You let out an embarrassing little squeak. You witnessed as he cataloged it into the ‘stuff y/n is never gonna live down’ part of his brain. ‘Cute’ he mouthed silently. You cursed yourself. You turned to cuss at Terry-

The clown lunged at you again, murderous intent plain as day on his face. He snarled as you two dodged him easily with a quick sidestep. In the corner of your eyes, you could see the other actors look on in bewilderment.  One of them shook her head clearly exasperated. Ok, so you unintentionally pissed off one of the actors. Great. Now, what?

The man lunged for you again. Dodging gracefully, you two turned on your heels and bolted leading him away from the group. You could hear the group collectively cheering him on behind you as you made your escape.

Technically, you could just knock him out and maybe go back to the group. One of you was the goddamn Batman while the other was Stray, thief extraordinaire, after all. But between the gasp of laughter and the playful grin stretching across Terry’s face like hell that was happening.

You two ducked into a corner tired and panting. You press yourself against the cool metal of the wall with Terry shielding you from view.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,”  You whisper, shrinking into your leather jacket feeling keenly aware of your lack of undershirt as the heat radiating from his skin pressed against yours. He leaned against you, closing the gap between the two of you.  His panting breaths fanning against your skin, lips brushing against the bare skin of your collar.  You bit out a curse as the color on your cheeks darkened. You swallowed a lump, heart floundering again. You felt him smile against your skin.

You like to say it was anger that flared up in you. You really would but the heat suffusing in your body said otherwise. You pushed at him weakly. “We have to get back,”

Terry stepped back giving you space. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

“You sure you want to? Bozo is still looking for us. That and you’ll probably still be bored,”

You tapped your foot and tilted your head considering it. You looked into his face searching for something. You sigh inwardly. “Yeah, no. I really don’t wanna go back. The scariest thing is still the amount of money we wasted and I have yet to be scared shitless,”

He smiled at you victoriously. “I have an idea,”

You blinked at him.“Ok, great job! Now, I’m pissing myself with fear,” You teased. You weren’t a fan of Terry’s ideas half the time but hell if they weren’t entertaining.

Terry rolled his eyes at you holding out his hand. “You brought your goggles, right?”

“McGinnis, I didn’t exactly have time to go home and-” You stilled, feeling his eyes trail down your chest before darting back up. Normally, when you were in costume, you left the zipper of your jacket open showing tantalizing glimpses of your soft flesh. Terry was absolutely not opposed to your costume choice unless you were in danger which was rare (thank you very much). This was what led to your current blushing predicament not that the other aspects of your costume were any less complementary. You sighed inwardly before stammering out “Yeah, I have my goggles,”  Fishing them out of an inner pocket of your jacket, you waved them around half-heartedly. 

“Schway! Come on follow me,” He said grabbing your wrist before you could see the flush creeping up his neck.

You rounded a couple of corners before stopping at a beam. He looked from left to right brow furrowed. He tapped his foot twice then somehow decided to go left. How the hell Terry managed to find his way around in the dark was a complete mystery to you. Your first guess is echolocation but the second, more logical guess, was that Bruce was a paranoid old man. Like a normal human, you were entirely dependent on the night vision mode of your goggles. 

You stopped when Terry stretched his arm out in front of you. You squinted seeing another group of bored-looking patrons. You turn to Terry who was looking at them and seemingly analyzing the group and it clicked.

“Oh,” you whispered quietly as you understood what he was planning. He threw you a playful smirk knowing you wouldn’t be able to resist this golden opportunity to fuck around.

“I would like to go on record and say this is a terrible idea,”

“And yet you’re going along with it,”

You were about to protest but couldn’t really think of a good defense.

“You know, if you really wanted to scare them you could have just dressed up as old Brucie,” 

You huffed and put your goggles on before crouching low. He followed suit bending low.

“Weeell, sorry. Your gremlin mug was the best I could do on short notice,”

You made a face of mock hurt which made him chuckle. “Am not,”

As it turns out, two vigilantes well-trained in sneaking around are actually pretty good at scaring people. In the last 5 minutes, you’ve scared four different groups of patrons all with varying reactions but all equally hilarious.

“Yanno we could probably scare Nelson,” Terry hummed innocently trying to keep the excitement out of his voice. You answered him with a vicious smile. “You just want payback for the prank he pulled yesterday,”

“And you want to see him  piss himself,”

This was true.

“Ok, fine. What’s the game plan?”

“I’m glad you asked,” Terry chuckled knowing he’s got you hook, line, and sinker. You scoffed but let him lean closer to you to whisper his maniacal scheme.

“If this works I am going to cry-” You crowed ducking behind another row of boxes as you quietly trailed your group.  “-Hand me your jacket,”

Completely avoiding your outstretched hands, he draped his jacket over you like a strange leather veil before giving your head a quick pat. “Hope you brought tissues then,”

“Like slag, this is gonna work,” You said quirking your brow and tilting your head to make the doubt plain on your face. Even with your vision impaired by your new headpiece, you could still admire how nice he looked in his shirt. Not that you let it show. You hoped.

“Just watch and learn nonbeliever,”

“Oh god he thinks he can pull off miracles now,” You sneered climbing on to his broad shoulders.

“Shhhhhhhh”

You pouted down at him crossing your arms. He shrugged his shoulders, the movement drawing a surprised yelp from you in turn making him snicker. You were about to open your mouth when your smoke trap was triggered.

Ok, this was a blatant abuse of your equipment but who was gonna tell you off? Bruce? Probably but the man was allergic to fun so being at a Halloween fair was, likely,  safe.

Thick waterfalls of white smoke cascaded down from the rafters, blanketing the floor with a thick mist of curling smoke. The group stopped almost mystified by how well-timed the eerie effect was. You had to hold back a derisive snort when they all turned to each other confused.

Because, yes, this is what your hours of booby trap training have been leading up to.

Truly, a magnum opus of spite.

You could already see Nelson readying himself to bolt even as Blade and Chelsea hung off his arms. Petty satisfaction bloomed in you.

Ok, you may be a gremlin.

You threw your voice in a shrill cackle letting it echo and bounce in the room over the too slow circus music playing in the background. It was a chilling sound, the kind that rattled in bones and traveled up the spine. One that you’ve only ever used for pranks during long nights at the lab. You even felt Terry freeze up beneath you. His grip on your thighs getting tighter. How on earth you didn’t yelp or squeak or make any other little noise at that was the true miracle.

“Wha- what’s going on?“  Blade squeaked, pressing into the group.

"Didn’t we just pass the last attraction?!”

“Are you sure it was the last?”

“I don’t know man!”

The group shrank in on itself as the conversation grew more panicked. You felt Terry shaking from holding in laughter. You nudge him softly with your heel. He took a breath and nodded to tell you he was fine.

“Oh children, there’s no need to fuss,” You coo sickeningly sweet. You see them swallow taking in your presence heavy as it was.

“The fun’s only just beginning!” You shriek flicking on the orange lights of your goggles. Your shrill, shrieking voice transmuting over the speakers filling the room.

They screamed, scrambled, and scattered. Your nearly 10-foot silhouette hovering over them. They tripped over each other. Some of them pulling at each other. Some stepping over feet in their haste to get away. Pure terror etched themselves on their faces.

You let them all sprint to exit, watching their forms all disappear before bursting out into laughter.

“Did- Did you see their faces?!”

“Please tell me you were recording,“

“wait-” You choked grabbing for your goggles. You made a show of checking and letting your shoulders fall in disappointment.

Terry looked crushed. A vicious grin carved across your face. “Relax, I was,”

Terry’s slumped against the crate as he leaned back. He ran his hand through his black hair and began to laugh again.

You put your goggles back to your jacket pocket. You clutched at his jacket letting your ugly laugh tumble out of your lips. Terry planted a kiss on your nose making your breath hitch. 

"What was that for?!” Your hands flying to your nose. Your fingers traced the small patch of skin he touched.

“You were just too cute,” He laughed ruffling your hair.

How do you respond to that? How could he say things like that so casually? Does he not know how many heart attacks it gives you?

“Jerk”

“PFFFFT”

“Don’t ‘pfffft’ me!” You bit out, throwing his jacket at him.

“Pfffft”

He stuck his tongue out at you.

“I-”

“Ahem!”

You both looked up to see a security guard and Bozo glowering down at you. You gave them both what passed for a sheepish, but not exactly, apologetic look.

The burly guard picked you both up by the scruff of your necks and hauled you out of the building. He tossed you out back as Bozo yelled “stay out” from the comfort of the guards back. 

“Kick us out yourself, coward!” Terry yelled, shaking his fist like an old man. You slapped your forehead in an effort not to encourage him. Bozo glowered at him from behind his meat shield. Terry snarled. You grabbed his arm to stop him from doing anything stupid.

“I knew it was you two,” Max sighed, hand on her hip.

“How’d you guess?”

“Circus music,”

You looked at her uncomprehendingly before remembering your well-documented discomfort with circuses. You slapped your hand against your forehead. Terry, helpful as usual, snickered at you.

 But before you could throw hands, Max spoke cleared her throat.

“You dumbasses are lucky they don’t press charges,” Max aggravated pinching the bridge of her nose. You had the decency to look a little sheepish at the accusation but Terry looked pleased which earned him a chastising look.

“Sorry, ma’am” You both grumbled as she pulled you both up. 

All three of you walked in tandem.  Max let up the responsible act.

“Not the worst group date you’ve been on, right?” Terry nudged.

 “No, guess not,” You scoffed, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Stiiiiill not as bad as that time you got us caught by the Joker Gang~”

“That wasn’t even my fault,”

————————————–

Thanks for reading! Also please do not do this in real life. They will get mad at you even if their haunted house does stink.

taglist:  @batarellabatarella (YOU BITCH I GOT ANOTHER BATBOY FOR YOU), @anothertimdrakestan, @lucy-roo, @multifandomgirl-us, @idkmanicantenglish,@birdy-bat-writes,  @boosyboo9206, @americasmarauders (I wanna drag you into Terry hell), @l-horizon11

[bisluthq]

going into Karia’s Hamlet which is tbh an awards lock / nat I want it to do well too but you set him up for clownery when you say stuff like this, shakespeare adaptations (even updated ones like this) are not close to awards lock. They’re not appreciated by most award bodies because most people can’t get into shakespeare outside when they have to study it in english class, if the tragedy of macbeth with two of the most respected actors in the industry directed by coen barely got awards recognition then a shakespeare allegory for race is not going to send the white racist awards committees ablaze 💀 we said the same thing about CWF that it was an awards lock which it isn’t, so maybe just hold back on saying definitive statements like that because we don’t know yet.

CWF is an awards lock, so is that. Not for Joe but for the project. Like they both legit are.

[decalcomain]

bts x international interviews

*a ramble*

⊹ ｡ ﾟ⁖✦ ˖ ⊹ ｡ ﾟ˖ ✧ ⊹ ｡ ﾟ⁖ °✦ ⊹ ｡ ﾟ⁖✦ ˖ ⊹ ｡ ﾟ˖ ✧

Joonie: just an absolute angel. He always covers for the members and expands on their comments to explain what they really meant. He tries his best to make sure everyone gets to speak in the interview in some way. He do be the bestest™ leader. My favorite thing is watching which interviewer can genuinely make him laugh because joon’s fake laugh is the backbone of pretty much every interview.

Jinnie: There are just some things kim seokjin needs to do in an international interview and one of them is consistently and almost incessantly reminding everyone that he is in fact, handsome—worldwide handsome to be exact (he tends to add a WWH when he wants to be extra). Jin is also a mood setter and he tries his best to keep the interview entertaining and not too serious...ya know? (i know). Not to make you soft but remember when joon said he likes to sit next to or be near jin during interviews (especially abroad) bc it makes him feel more comfortable...it’s times like this we remember that namjoon is the leader but seokjin is the oldest. seokjinnie is indeed best boy..the bestest, sweetest, funniest, most talented—

Yoongi: 10000% an undercover fluent english speaker. I’d not be surprised if one day he just started quoting shakespeare bc well it’s yoongi. He’s also the one who says the group goals/manifests them into existence. No.1 Billboard Hot 100? Done. Scam—I mean Grammy nomination & performance? Done. Clearly, yoongles took it personal when ariana sang “I want it, I got it”.

Hobi: now he’s always a walking sound effect generator, and the best one in existence at that, but he somehow becomes even more loud and extra when he does international interviews. Hobi is the ~mood setter~ his reactions really help create the vibe and set the tone for how the interview is gonna be. And of course, there can be no interview complete without an impromptu dance.

Jimin: he either looks extremely intimidating or incredibly flirtatious. He’s super shy to say anything in a foreign language but most of the time gets it right anyway. When asked a question he doesn’t really give a straight or short answer it’s usually long, somehow complex, and always sincere/genuine. No seriously, remember when the question was what’s your favorite hair color and he gave a whole speech about how he loves every color he’s ever dyed his hair in different ways?

Tae: DRY COMEDY KING. He doesn’t talk a lot but when he does it’s just MWAH pure gold. He pulls off some of the funniest things with a straight face. For example a classic question is “what’s your favorite lyric?”. Some of tae’s answers include, but are definitely not limited to,“ssak da bultaewora bow wow wow” and “oh na na na”. Tae also tends to lower his voice when he speaks in English and has a bit of an accent which makes him endearing to us and all the more susceptible to clownery to the other members.

Jungkook: if it’s a red carpet interview he will, without a doubt, hide behind his members (usually joonie). If there is food on set there’s no hope he’s a goner. If there are puppies or animals on set he will pay attention to them and only them (as he should). When he does decide to participate in the interview he says iconic things like “book is melatonin” or “spacebar sleep” or the classic “brekkie”. In conclusion: this man speaks better English than I do and I’m supposedly fluent

[tortillastar]

A Prologue Nobody Asked For - Chapter 1

Another scrap of fanfiction for the wonderful If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio; how I think James and Oliver may have met. I suppose my fascination with the Dellecher Seven has earned them an indelible place in my heart. 

Perhaps it didn’t matter how you introduced yourself to a soulmate, so long as you did.

“You’re so bony.” Oliver turned, instinctively curling in on himself to escape a beating. He didn’t expect the dimpled, lopsided grin on the other boy’s face. If possible, James was handsome even then, somehow bypassing the awkward pimple-cheeked teenage phase that everyone else around him suffered. 

Oliver thought he ought to act offended to avoid being thought a pushover, though he wasn’t bothered, not really. He absently touched his left shoulder, fingering the pointy protruding bone. James was only telling the truth, was he not? 

As he vacillated, taking too long to decide, James pushed on, “What’s your pace?”

They were eighteen, two in a sea of Dellecher first years with starry-eyed optimism. Optimism, Oliver would look back in retrospect, was precisely their problem. Most had come in expecting lessons on how to strut down red carpets, sign six-figure checks, and hide from overzealous paparazzi. Instead, they were hit in the face with tome-sized scripts and Gwendolen’s chilling stare. Sure, they were all theatre kids, the best or at least the most Shakespeare-obsessed of their respective high schools, but most of them had acted in one or two Shakespeare productions at best, dumbed-down and modernized for the audience’s convenience. In short, they had no idea what they were getting into. 

First-year fitness training consisted of lapping around the periphery of the grounds every morning, and a dreaded timed mile — two and three-quarters of a lap — every Thursday. 

"Each successive time must be within 30 seconds of the last, or a redo is obligatory." Camilo had announced a few minutes into their first class. By Oliver’s conjecture, the only reason Camilo had them running laps instead of accidentally punching in each other’s noses in mock combat or prancing through a musical theatre number (both more practical for a would-be actor and dare he say it, more exciting), was that there were simply too many of them to supervise. Prestigious as the school was, it was not rich.

“I-I got a sub-6 last time.” He stuttered. “But that was probably a fluke.” He felt the need to tack on.

“Want to run together?” He looked over James’ shoulder to his friends, a lanky prep from upstate New York, a wiry, loudmouthed Asian with a buzzcut, and a pale girl, slightly pudgy, with a heart-shaped face white-blond hair. The boys side-eyed him with raised eyebrows, clearly wondering why James Farrow, who’d within the first weeks established himself as top dog of the freshman class, was talking to a nobody. The girl, for her part, just looked curious.

They had their merits. Dennis knew the classics (not only Shakespeare, but Marlowe, Homer, and Tennyson too) better than anyone; he crammed an allusion into every sentence he uttered just to make sure others did too. Joel had a comedic streak about him and managed to sidestep any potential mockery for his slowness with clownery flamboyant enough to force Frederick to hide smiles behind his teacup. Wren, with her wide doe eyes and pale porcelain skin, made a perfectly dainty damsel in distress. None of them, however, couldn't run a sub-6 mile. 

If James topped the first-year class after years of rigorous training on the high school track team, Oliver kept up a close second due to spending the majority of his school career running from bullies with a half-swallowed wad of lunch money in his throat. It didn't matter how you got there, so long as you crossed the finish line.

He shrugged, which James took as a yes.

“I’m James by the way.” I know.

“Oliver.”

[sketchguk]

I've noticed in your writing that you pay attention to small details. As in like,,, I don't know how to describe it but when I read your fics, I can just tell that you're a very intelligent and articulate person with honestly a killer sense of humor just from the way you write. For example in "Lining's Silver" theres a part where yoongi and oc talk about oc's past and the paragraph went smth like "It’s like you’ve combated against your three brain cells and 18+ years of emotional repression to talk about something as gross as f*elings." I fr laughed when I saw that you censored f*elings. That little asterisks adds so much character and flavour to your stories already but it's like? Consistent? And these little bits of flare and character are placed throughout all your fics and look I'm just a simp for your writing if it's not obvious enough dkjfnfkskd

But I think my most favourite bit in "Lining's Silver" is "The sound of rain fills the empty space between you, and even under the dim lights of this dingy cafe, when his eyes meet yours, you swear that they were once made out of stardust from the depths of the Milky Way." Absolutely poetic. Shakespeare could never.

Omg say sike right now 😳🤚🏼 otherwise I’m gonna ask for your hand in marriage 😭

First off, thank you for reading and taking the time to send such a kind message!! 🥺 Intelligent, articulate, and humorous are far from correct considering I speak through memes and emojis on the daily. Perhaps the clownery popped off in this fic because my muse is a part time clown (@moominyg, hi)

Second, thank you for looking so deep into my writing style??!! I’ve never been a fan of it myself because I feel like I drone on about the smallest things. Hence, my stories are averaging 10k+ in word count LOL. Do I really need to describe the way the characters move from one locale to the next?? No, but I act as if I’m a screenplay writer with a movie concept in my head, sprinkling some pretty imagery here and there 😐

shsjjd I’m emotional over the fact that you directly quoted my fic 👉🏼👈🏼 I will agree that f*elings are yucky and completely unheard of in my household 🤩 the only thing that comforts me is the stars - 3 in which I’m able to make out underneath ny’s blanket of light pollution, and then there’s the endless star field in yoongi’s eyes 🥺💘

[dwellordream]

If your next male lead in your Rogers fc is named Hal, you’re gonna give me Henry IV flashbacks and make me start expecting a Falstaff-esque character to pop up somewhere to make bby!Stannis grind his teeth as hard as possible

Hal is actually a lot more mature and responsible than Shakespeare’s Hal but his excitable sons definitely have some peak clownery moments.