#shading in noctis completely destroyed me

[yhrite]

One 6-7 hour tattoo session later and I have the second (and maybe final?) part of my sleeve done! I went with the logo art from Final Fantasy 15 this time

[downallthewaydown]

Sweet as Candy

A/N: This was a bit of a struggle to write, not going to lie. But if nothing else I want to try and upload something at least once a week, so here we go. Cute Prompto fluff. I might turn this idea into a series, I have an idea planned out for Gladio and Noctis, but I’m not going to lie Ignis is giving me a bit of trouble. Typical. Okay, time for some fluff. Tagging @inconsistencys so she can enjoy some cuteness with her favorite ball of sunshine.

Word Count: 1k Pairing: Prompto x Reader  SFW

A giggle passed through your lips as little ‘tings’ permeated the air, rubber bullets hitting glass milk bottles and knocking them off their perches. The clear amusement on your face rivaled the scowl on the vendor’s, annoyance etched so deeply in his features you were sure his face would get stuck that way like you had always been told. That scowl grew with every bottle the blond successfully knocked over. 

You knew as well as anyone that carnival games were rigged against those that played them. It was an infuriatingly simple way to whittle as much gil out of patrons as possible, and the shooting booth was no exception. In fact, you’d wager that this particular booth was a large source of income for the carnival. You had watched others try and fail to knock over even three bottles, and yet the sunshine boy next to you was closing in on the last one. 

Every bullet he fired from the toy gun hit its destined target with terrifying accuracy. In under a minute he cleared every bottle, lifting the end of the pistol to his mouth to blow away smoke that wasn’t there and shoot you a wink. Your own eyes rolled in response and you shoved his shoulder playfully. 

“Show off.” 

“I don’t know the meaning of the word.” 

You scoffed, but let him play dumb. You knew he felt overshadowed by the other guys, not as strong as Gladio or as intelligent as Ignis, and you wouldn’t take this confidence away from him. He was in his element, his deadly skills being used for something harmless and fun like winning a carnival game, and you wouldn’t let his happiness by ruined. Even by a rude vendor who cleared his throat and angrily crossed his arms, clearly put out by not thieving more money from the blond. 

“Pick a prize.” 

The vendor withered a little under your glare, shifting his weight and looking out at the other stalls. Prompto was oblivious to the entire exchange. Baby blue eyes weighed each option, tapping his finger against his chin until he decided on the one he wanted: a giant, fluffy chocobo. The man mumbled something under his breath about theft as he handed it over, the giant stuffed animal worth clearly more than the mere gil Prompto had paid to play the game. 

The gunner turned to you with a mega-watt smile, crushing the large plushie to his chest until he blended into the yellow of its feathers. You couldn’t help but laugh and shake your head at the comically cute picture he made. 

“Come on! The night’s still young and there are plenty of games left!” 

You let him drag you from stall to stall, racking up wins and more plushies until you didn’t know what to do with them all. You set down his latest trophy, a massive stuffed coeurl and huffed, brushing hair away from your face. 

“What do you say we stash these back at the car?” 

The chocobo plushie nodded its head at you and you laughed, unable to spot the boy behind all the animals in his arms. It took a bit of maneuvering to fight through the crowd without losing each other but soon enough you were back at the Regalia, painstakingly arranging the plushies in the seats for maximum comical effect. Prompto arranged a few carefully curated shots before nodding at his phone screen, walking around the car to hop up next to you on the trunk. 

You leaned your head against his shoulder and sighed. It was a much needed night off and you were determined to enjoy all that you could, especially the few minutes of alone time you managed to snag with your favorite ball of sunshine. Your lips closed around the lolly you had purchased from one of the stalls, the ring pop situated neatly on your finger. The blue raspberry flavor was tart on your tongue, bringing back memories of long summer days that ended in cooler evenings, exploring the very same carnival with your friends. 

Without thinking you offered the candy to him, hearing his pleased hum as he enjoyed the sweet treat. Wearily you wondered if it was smart to be giving Prompto sugar, but you convinced yourself such a small amount couldn’t possibly hurt. 

“Iggy is gonna be so mad,” His words were slurred slightly from speaking around the candy. 

“Just don’t destroy camp this time and he won’t have to know.” 

“I was helping!” 

You laughed as his voice went high pitched and squeaky as he defended himself. Taking the candy back from him you sucked on the lolly and looked up at him. From this angle his lips looked an unusual shade and you pulled away to look at him fully, brows furrowing until you realized what it was. Uncontrollable laughter spilled from your lips, a hand coming up to cover your mouth in an attempt to control it all. 

“What? Is there something on my face?” Blue eyes widened and it only made you laugh harder, seeing the same shade in a completely different spot. 

“Your - your lips are blue!” The ring pop had left its colorful blue stain behind, so unlike the usual pink they were. 

“Awesome! Is my tongue blue, too?” He wagged it at you and you were forced to grab your sides when it became too much, only managing a nod. “Well, guess there’s no hiding it from Iggy then, huh?” 

Prompto took advantage of your laughter to grab your hand, pulling the candy back to his mouth. In for a little, in for a pound you supposed. There really wouldn’t be any way to hide the sugar indulgence from the advisor when the guilt was painted so easily on the blond’s face. You pulled your hand back after a moment, ignoring his pout to press a kiss to his lips that was sweeter than the candy you shared. Your tongue chased the flavor on his until you pulled away with a satisfied *smack.*

“Mmm...I didn’t think you could taste any better, Prom.” 

The blond squeaked, red creeping up his neck to his cheeks that was at odds with the cool blue stain on his mouth. You just chuckled at him and went back to enjoying your treat, leaning back against the gunner with a smile. 

[thesilencebeforeastorm]

| A Dead Girl’s Portrait  | 

Characters: Ignis Scientia, Dahlia Rose Scientia, Noctis Lucis Caelum, Prompto Argentum, Gladiolus Amicitia

Genre: Angst

Trigger Warning: Death and blood

Word Count: 2,015

Tagging: @vundis-scientia @fscottcatsgerald @jojopitcher @its-lunafreya @xylianna @arcticblade @dianett-e Let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list!

Here’s my first AU fic! I’ve been working on this for a while now so I hope you all enjoy it! Please let me know what you think in the comments!

Chapter 1 - Dead?

Being on the road with my father always lifted my spirits. From the songs we would sing in the car, to feeling the breeze in the air, it always made me feel good. Today was no different. Dad had taken me to the mall to get some new art supplies that I so desperately wanted. Who could turn down Insomnia’s new art kit filled with bright paints and oil pastels? I just had to get my hands on it. Drawing and painting had always been a hobby that I had a deep passion for. Whether I sketched bodies and used my shading pencils or painted landscapes with my watercolor or oil paints, it always made me feel right at home. I tried to watch the stars in the night sky but Insomnia’s unfortunate light pollution didn’t allow it so I settled for admiring the not so quiet city life.

“So Dad, you think I could become a famous artist one day?”, I asked as I turned my head towards him.

“I think you shall be whatever your heart desires. If you wish to be a artist, then you shall be it. By putting in hard work and dedication, I can’t see why that wouldn’t be so”, he replied.

“Ahh, I knowww. Speaking of hard work and dedication, there’s a art competition coming up at school where we get to showcase our masterpieces and the winner gets a grand prize! I think I’m going to enter! I can’t wait to try these at home.”

I could see the smile that spread across his face as he tapped his finger on the steering wheel to the low music that was playing on the radio. I really wanted to pursue this as a career and having his support was the best thing I could honestly ask for.

Incase you didn’t know, my dad was Ignis Scientia. You might have heard of him since he is the royal advisor to His majesty King Noctis of Lucis. Having to serve his duty to the king, I found art as an escape. At first, it was to not feel lonely since my mom wasn’t around either but as time went on, I learned to really enjoy my craft and I knew that I wanted to show it to the world.

What I didn’t know was that I was never going to be able to showcase my art to the world. I was never going to be able to try out my new art kit. I was never going to be able to breathe again all because of one man’s carelessness.

“Dad lookout!”, I yelled, not knowing that those would be my last words.

It all happened so fast. One minute, me and dad were driving home singing songs and the next minute, our car spun out of control. I could feel my new art kit fly out of my hands as the car flipped over. I was scared. Not only for my life but for my dad. If he was gone, who would serve the king? I could hear my dad whisper my name as he tried to shake my arm but I couldn’t move. I wouldn’t budge. I felt my life slip out of me. Unfortunately, I would never go home that day.

“Dad! Dad! You have to get up!”, I yelled at him as I struggled to open the now destroyed car door. I could feel the tears piling up at my eyes due to my frustration. Nothing I was doing was working to open the door. It was as if I wasn’t doing anything at all. I let go in defeat as I ran my hands through my hair to get it out of my face. That’s when I saw what happened. We were T-boned by a drunk driver who had eaten a red light. Smoke and broken glass was everywhere and due to this, crowds of people had began to gather around the accident in a clear shock. I could feel my body burning up in anger as I watched people just standing there doing nothing.

“What in bloody hell are you guys just standing there for! Call for help please!”, I yelled but no one looked at me. It was as if no one could hear me. Why can’t they hear me? I asked myself but quickly disregarded the thought when I heard an ambulance coming in my direction. I thanked the Astrals that someone had heard me and that my dad was going to be safe. They drove up to us and pushed people out of the way to get to us.

“My father is in the car, please help him!”, I cried out but none of them looked at me. Instead, they just got straight to work and worked together to pry the door open. They were soon able to get my dad out of the car and I felt my heart shatter into a million of pieces when I saw him. His hair was disheveled and he had cuts all over his face and was bleeding tremendously. How could this happen to us? How did we not see that driver coming our way? No… how could that driver do that to us? I watched them as they placed a neck brace on him and carefully placed him onto a stretcher. With every passing minute, I became more and more confused. Why was no one tending to me? I was clearly hurt. I looked down at my hands but to my surprise, I had not one single cut or scratch on them. I examined my shirt and my jeans to see if they had blood on them but to my surprise again, they were completely clean. I then decided to look inside the car and that’s when I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand as I saw the horror. There my body was upside down with blood covering my face and broken glass on my hands. I checked to see if I was breathing but nothing. I was just there completely motionless. I moved away from the car breathing hard and fast. How the hell was I out here but my body was in the car? No… was I dead? Impossible. I was a strong girl, I couldn’t have died that easily. I looked back to see my dad being loaded on to the ambulance and I quickly disregarded my corpse and ran inside the truck before they could close it. I dashed my way across to my dad’s side and grabbed his hand as hard as I could.

“Dad don’t you worry, I’m still here! You’re gonna make it okay? You’re strong alright? Don’t you dare die on me!”, I cried out again as I sobbed looking at his body. Under all the confusion and questions I had, all I cared about in that moment was that my dad was going to be okay.

I sat in the hospital waiting room with my hands clasped together in a tight grip, rocking back and forth, thinking about everything that had happened. Why was I here but my body was in the car? If I was dead, why was I able to watch everything that was happening afterwards? I waited for a nurse or someone to come up to me to let me know how my father was doing but it took me a while to realize that no one was going to come to me. If no one had heard me yelling at the crash sight, they wouldn’t hear me here either. I got up and began to look around to hear if anyone had news about my dad. Suddenly, I heard a group of people in and to my luck, it was exactly who I wanted it to be. It was King Noctis and his friends Prompto and Gladio. I met all of them so many times and they cared deeply for my father so I knew they were here for a good reason however, I couldn’t help but notice the fear and panic that painted across King Noctis’ face.

“Where the hell is he? Someone tell me where is he dammit!”, he shouted, making everyone jump from his sudden outburst. A nurse came quickly running to his side recognizing him and tried to calm him down.

“Your majesty, you need to calm down. You are scaring everyone”, she told him.

Wrong choice of words. If there’s anything I’ve learned in my life, it’s that you never tell anyone to calm down when they are in a fit of rage.

“Calm down?! One of my men just got into a car accident and you want me to calm down?!”, Noctis lashed out.

Seeing that this wasn’t going to work out, Prompto spoke instead. “We’re looking for our friend Iggy. Ignis Scientia to be exact. He was just in a car crash with his daughter.”

Now understanding the whole situation, she led them towards the room but would only let them inside if Noctis calmed down. It took a minute for Gladio to help him snap out of it and keep his cool but eventually, they were let inside. I followed them into the room to see my dad lying there with wires and bandages basically everywhere. His leg must’ve been broken because he had a cast covering it. His face was heavily scarred but thank the astrals that he was okay.

Everyone was in a clear shock. Noctis who had been shouting earlier was now quiet with his eyes wide. No one was expecting this to happen. No one expected that Ignis Scientia would get into an accident out of all people.

“Ignis…?”, Noctis asked as he walked over to his left side but he didn’t respond. I could see how his eyes trailed all over his injuries and looked back at him. I was at his right side, standing behind Prompto but in front of Gladio. I noticed Prompto’s body shaking from the nerves he had as he bit down on his lips hard. As I looked back at Gladio, his facial expression was just blank, never taking his eyes off my dad’s face.

“Who ever did to him will pay. As king, I’ll make sure of it”, Noctis said with his hands balled up into a fist. I could tell he was trying to not cry.

We were interrupted when the doctor finally walked in to everyone’s relief. We all wanted to hear if my dad was going to be okay.

“Doctor will he be alright?”, Noctis asked. The doctor looked at everyone before he spoke.

“Your majesty, Mr. Scientia is very lucky to be alive from such a horrible crash. He has a broken leg and scarring on his face but he shall make a speedy recovery.”

“What about his daughter?”, Gladio asked. That’s the one question everyone wanted answers to. I so desperately wanted answers to what happened to me.

The doctor sighed. “Unfortunately, Miss Scientia has passed. I am really sorry. This was found at the crash sight”, he said and handed Noctis my art kit that my dad had just bought for me.

Everyone was in shock. I was in shock. I didn’t want to accept it but I was dead. Not only was I dead but I was watching everything that was happening afterwards but why? My heart began to race and I began to breathe heavily so I sat down on a chair and gripped the handles tightly as I watched the reactions of everyone else. Noctis and Prompto finally couldn’t take it anymore and started to sob. All this was too much for them to take. Gladio couldn’t take it either but his was of handling things was being alone. I watched his as he walked out the room I guess to talk to the doctor or to let his emotions go. No one could believe it and neither could I. I prayed to the astrals that this was a dream. I hoped that I would soon wake up…

[ffxvhoe]

hello! may i request head cannons for iris and s/o (fem! s/o would be great but it doesn't matter, whatever you prefer to write) taking a journey around town, kind of like her quest with noctis around lestallum, except s/o confesses to iris by the end? thank you! ^-^

takes place during the 10 years of darkness so iris is ~20 years old. and again i’m so so sO SORRY that this took so long bb!! I hope you enjoy

Your footsteps were echoed by the boots of the woman beside you.  Her sword was resting against her shoulder and you recognized the pose from pictures you’d seen of her brother, Gladiolus.  The two of them were so similar in looks what with their thick lashes and brown eyes that glowed amber in the sunlight.  Idly, you wondered if she realized that she mimicked him like this or if it was simply a subconscious thing.  You wouldn’t have been surprised if it was something that ran in the family; from the sounds of it the Amicitias were a tightly knit unit.  Or at least they were.  Now it was just Iris and Gladio and even then the two of them didn’t see each other as much as you knew Iris would have liked.

It was hard for you to understand why Gladio tried to keep his distance from his last immediate family member.  Iris had told you on the countless occasions that you brought it up that Gladio was trying to “find himself”.  Whenever Iris talked like that she suddenly seemed...much older than she was.  Hell, the two of you were the same age but in those moments it was almost as if she had lived for just as long as the Astrals themselves.  It was the grief, sadness, and sympathy that flickered through her bark brown eyes that sent chills down your spine though.  As open as Iris was with you and those around her there was still so much that she never said.  You only wished that you could somehow help her to shoulder whatever it was she was dealing with.

“This was the city center,” you said coming to a stop.  Before you stood buildings that had once been beautiful several years ago.  The inviting peach and yellows were now replaced with missing walls and windows.  The cobblestone sidewalks were cracked if not completely torn up from the ground.  “I use to come here every day to play with friends when I was in kindergarten.  Then when I was in high school I came here to study and hang out at the cafe over there.”  

“Awe, I bet you were so cute as a little kid,” she said, eyes closing as she smiled at you.  

“Yeah, now look at me,” you joked, scrunching up your nose.

With a gasp Iris gaped at you.  “Don’t say that!  You’re still one hundred percent absolutely adorable.”  The firm nod she gave you reminded you so much of when you’d first met her, before the world had gone to the mad house, that you couldn’t help but wonder how she kept her cheerful disposition.  

“I was joking, Iris,” you said with a shake of your head and a smile.

“I know.”  Iris took a few steps so she was standing beside you.  Bending at the waist so she could look up at you she said, “But you still shouldn’t say that.  Say stuff like that and you’ll start to believe it!  I can’t have my favorite person thinking she’s anything less than wonderful.”

“Favorite person?” you asked with a quirked eyebrow.  “So does this mean I finally outrank Gladio on your favorite people list?”

“Okay,” she said, drawing out the word.  “So maybe not favorite person, but you’re definitely second!”  There wasn’t a single part of you that could take offense to that considering you knew that with Iris family would always come first.  It was endearing, how much she loved her brother, how could you be mad about that?  But still...

“There’s one more place I want to show you,” you said.  “It’s the only place here that isn’t completely destroyed and I think you’ll love it.”

With a light giggle Iris replied, “Lead the way!”

The trek to the flower shop wasn’t too terribly long.  The real trouble came in with the daemons that lined the way.  They weren’t very difficult to defeat, just tedious to take care of.  Other than the unwanted daemon company the walk was quiet save for the sound of rubble shifting in the wind.  You found yourself hoping you got back to camp before it got dark only to let out a snort of laughter upon realizing that it was always dark.  You noticed Iris shooting you a puzzled look and waved your hand in response, letting her know to not worry about it.

“Oh we’re here! Close your eyes.”  You watched as Iris obediently shut her eyes before grabbing her hand and slowly leading her inside.  “Okay,” you said.  “Now open.”

You watched with pride as Iris’s expression changed from one of confusion, to realization, to complete and utter awe.  All around you two were flowers of different shapes, sizes, and shades.  They sprouted from old and forgotten pots that had broken on the floor, taking root in the soil that was visible from the destroyed tile of the shop.  Those that were vines creeped up the walls of the store, flowers of dark pinks and bright purples spotting the vines every few inches.  

As beautiful as it was though your eyes stayed fixed on Iris as she took one step and then another, making a slow turn about the room.  You stayed just a little bit behind her, your hand still gripped in her own.  Her eyes were wide with a mix of childish glee and a mature kind of wonderment as she grew curious as to how this was possible with no sunlight.  You didn’t have much an idea of how the flowers continued to thrive yourself.

“You like it?” You asked.

Iris turned to you, eyes still wide and mouth still gaping slightly.  “Did you really think I wouldn’t?”

“I don’t know,” you said.  “I’d been thinking of taking you here for a while but always ended up putting it off out of some sort of fear that you wouldn’t like it.  Even though I know how much you love flowers,” you smiled.

“Why?” She asked.  She cocked her head to the side again as she had a habit of doing and you couldn’t stop yourself from wanting to run you hand down her cheek.

“Well there was a reason I had waned to bring you here in the first place.”  You looked away from her, those infinite eyes boring in you.  “It was where my dad first asked my mom on a date....”

“Oh?” Your eyes darted back to Iris at the change in her tone.  There was something in it that was urging you on as well as a certain sense of knowing.

Caught and trapped by those eyes again you stumbled slightly on your words.  “I-I...I mean I was just wondering....”

“Go on.”  Iris’s tone was definitely bordering on teasing now.

“I mean obviously you can say no if you want, like I don’t want you to feel obligated or anything.  Hell I don’t even know if you even actually like girls -- I mean sure you’ve said you’ve found them pretty and stuff but that could just mean you found a girl pretty and I don’t want to pressure you and really don’t want to make this awkward between us-”

Iris’s giggle cut you off.  “Yes I’ll go on a date with you,” she said.  “Honestly it took you enough time to finally ask.”

“You could’ve made the move yourself,” you defended indignantly.  “Wait. You knew?”

“I know some people think I’m oblivious but I do know more than you guys assume.”  A smug smile danced across her lips as she continued.  “And as for your first question, why would I make a move?  What if you rejected me?”  

“I hate you,” you said, a pout and glare making an appearance.  

“Not according to your little confession,” Iris sang.  “Now come on silly, let’s get back to camp.  I’m ready for a nice long nap.”

With a huff of a sigh accompanied by a small, dopey smile, you said, “I’m coming, I’m coming,” and followed after her.

[fujubun]

do you agree with the fandom interpretation of your character?

Mun Interpretations ⦙ ⦙ open

[DABS] N O NOT AT ALL

In case its not known, you’re completely free to reblog any meta I write (aka this) if you like it. I enjoy sharing my loud words with others, so there’s no need to ask if you can reblog!

[BIG EDIT]: I get over hyped when writing, solely focusing, and putting actual thought into one thing for too long, so the original draft of this was far more aggressive and salty than I meant for it to be. (Even if some things do make me salty, it’d no reason for me to be a jerk.) I’d like to personally apologise if I upset anyone, as I assure you I didn’t mean to do so! (I didn’t neccessarily see anyone upset but still.) There’s an edit to this because I’m adjusting the tone and how I phrased things!

I’d also like to say that everything I’m stating is based on the fandom itself, not this lovely roleplay community! Nothing I state here is a personal attack on anyone; its all simply my personal opinions! I’m more than happy to discuss anything in a calm and respectful manner, but any form of actual arguing is a no go, alright? I’m not here to argue, after all, simply to share my opinions.

The MOM Trope:

Ignis is a very caring, very loving guy, and he’s not afraid to show it. He takes care of his friends, both in and out of battle. He cooks, he cleans, he heals, and on occasion he probably dotes on them too. There’s nothing wrong with this at all, its okay for him to do things like this; to be open about his feelings and to actively show how much he cares for those that matter to him. However, I desperately hate when people shove the mom trope on him. Not only is it incredibly degrading to women (specifically mothers who are always seen as able to do everything), it’s also harmful to Ignis because it feminizes him. Guys can be loving a supportive too, its not just a female trait! Guys don’t always have to be overly pulsing with constant testosterone to be proven that they’re male (you know the stereotype I’m talking about), they can be soft too!

Another thing that makes the mom trope bad, is that from what I’ve personally seen, quite a bit (maybe even most?) people headcanon as Ignis as gay, which I love! I also personally headcanon that! (And if you don’t, that’s okay too!) But when you pair someone who is gay (or someone who you see as gay) with the mom trope (especially males) its extremely harmful. Gay males are heavily feminized (and fetishized) and are often seen as the mom type, its honestly kind of really homophobic! Its not cool to label someone whose gay as the mom friend (unless they give you permission, that is). And you may be thinking “yeah but Ignis is a fictional character!”, and you’re absolutely right! He is, but the thing is, representation matters! If its widely accepted that Ignis is possibly gay, then it’ll probably give a lot of hope to younger fans (and honestly even older fans too!), but when you attach that trope it kind of makes you go “o h… so this is the bad representation then?”

Ignis being soft and caring for those he cares about doesn’t make him a mom friend, it makes him a good character! Its what makes him human! And then, now this is just an extreme personal pet peeve of mine but: please don’t headcanon Iggy as gay because he’s so openly caring about his friends. That goes hand in hand with what I said earlier about gay males being feminized! Its super rude! Regardless of what you think on his orientation or sexuality, please just let him be a sweet soft boy without giving him a harmful label!

The SKILL Portion:

As I touched on above, something else that the mom trope does, is it expects Ignis to be able to do everything perfectly immediately (which is more often than not, expected of moms) and that’s just not humanly possible. Ignis is only twenty-two years old, he’s within the same age range as the other boys (and he’s only two years older than I am, and look how I act!), he’s a big dingus! He’s still young, too young, to know how to do everything perfectly. Even in the future when he’s thirty-two, that’s still fairly young; sure he’d be much more wiser than at twenty-two, but still! 

Ignis has worked hard at every skill that he knows, whether its fighting, cooking, sewing; anything! He works hard to achieve his success, but I’ve seen so many people erase that fact and play it as if he’s naturally talented and that hurts. Natural talent doesn’t exist, no matter who you are, even for someone as seemingly perfect as Ignis. Everything he knows and does is through dedication and hard work!

Something else too, is that people so often portray him as absolutely perfect, and that really makes him… inhuman. Ignis is a doofus, just like us! He’s human, and he has his faults; he cries and breaks down and gets frustrated when things don’t go as planned. He burns new food, stabs his fingers when he’s sewing, gives horrible advice, all of it. He’s not perfect, and he’ll never be perfect, and that’s perfectly okay! Its okay for him to be bad at things, for him to have faults, and for him to faulter under pressure; its okay for him to crack and for him to be a mess, its what makes him a believable and human character.

Often times when I read how perfect and good at everything he is, it ages him greatly in my mind. Instead of him being close to my age, he’s suddenly far, far older, and that’s not a good thing. He has to much experience, he’s too good at what he’s doing, he’s too smooth with his words, he’s too old sounding. I understand he’s a very prim and proper person, and its hard to keep him in character while keeping him acting his age, trust me its a very fine line, but it is possible to accomplish.

The COOKING Jokes:

Another personal pet peeve would be: the mass amounts of cooking jokes that everyone (a collective everyone, nobody specific of course!) makes. In the Anime and Game it can be up for grabs on whether on not he actually enjoys cooking (I’ve heard it both ways, and both are good! Personally I headcanon that he likes to cook and bake, and even does so as a destresser!) but what annoys me is that everyone takes it way too far! (This doesn’t include the AUs! Only the canon content or super similar to canon content! It also doesn’t pertain to his “That’s it! I’ve come up with a new recipe!” line/habit!) But there have been so many times where I’ve seen people take as if cooking is the only thing for Ignis, that he has no other hobbies or likes, that its all just narrowed down specifically to cooking and its super sad to me to see. It strips him of so many possibilities!! There’s more to him than just cookin’ and bakin’, y’know?

THE EPISODE IGNIS PORTION:

Episode Ignis has caused a lot of drama and a lot of arguments, so I’d like to take a moment to reiterrate what I stated up top: I’m not here to start drama, or cause arguements. I’m not here to personally attack anyone, I’m simply throwing my opinions out for others to eithe rlike or dislike. If you dislike? That’s okay! Opinions usually differ, but please don’t come to me to start an argument, or vague about me or something. I’ll probably just ignore you, or block you if you’re personally harrassing me.

Something that was super recently brought to my attention for Episode Ignis was the shipping matters. And while this doesn’t neccessarily pertain to Ignis’ character interpretations, I’d still like to take a moment to address it because Episode Ignis means a lot to me:

Please stop with the shipping wars and the petty (and sort of guilt tripping) comments to one another. Episode Ignis didn’t destroy or hurt any ships availible for Ignis (the one brought to my attention specifically was Gladnis). Each of them got their own bits in the episode and none of them were harmful at all (I’m not counting Ardyn in this statement because he’s the main villain and he’s supposed to be horrible).

No ships were destroyed, and even some were revived! It even brought along new ships too! So please, no more wars, yeah? They’re kinda………. really dumb.

The next thing I want to talk about is the uproar of “I don’t like this DLC because Ignis feels really out of character.” I’d like to start off by saying: Nobody knows Ignis and his character better than the people who created him. Fans have a very bad habit (and this goes for every fandom, not just FFXV) of thinking they know better and know whats best for the show or the character. Sure, in some cases, the writing could be very horrible (personally, I would throw shade on the anime RWBY, but I’m not here to rant about that.), but the writing in the game and the new DLC isn’t bad. Sure some parts can be pretty…. eh, I suppose (I honestly enjoyed all of it!) but none of it was actually bad.

As I stated at the beginning, Ignis is a very loving and caring guy. He’ll do anything for those he loves, and that includes Noctis, Gladio and Prompto. Yes, I did just say loves, because regardless of what you see his sexuality or orientation as, he does in fact love them. Its up in the air for canon as to if its romantic love, or brotherly/familial/platonic love, but it is there! There are several types of love, and people often forget that, which is why I think a bunch of people think his actions were out of character.

In the original ending, he did what was best for the people of Insomnia; for the people of the world. He was selfless, he kept the information he learned to himself so that it didn’t burden the others, and he let Noctis kill himself so that the dawn could return. In the new ending, for once in his life he was selfish. He wanted to keep his friend there with him; his brother. He didn’t want to lose Noctis because of some (honestly kind of bullshit) fate, because he loved him (and again, that love can be romantic/familial/brotherly/platonic) and didn’t want to give him up. He was selfish and did what was best for Noctis (and by extention, himself and Gladio and Prompto) instead of what was best for everyone else in the world.

Whether or not its exactly healthy to do something like that is up for debate (could be co-dependency or something far worse for example) but that’s what he chose. Ignis sacrificed his everything, his entire life, to save Noct’s because he cares so much about him. Even if it meant his own life, and that he would never see Noctis again, he was willing to do it so that Noctis could actually live and rule. (Honestly I’d do the same thing for my friends, so I can’t say too much really). ignis would probably offer that same sacrifice if it was Prompto or Gladio’s life on the line too.

He loves and cares about them so much and he just wants them to be happy (I mean look at all the things he’s done for everyone specifically so they were happy!), he’ll do anything for them. They mean the world to him, so if they were in danger? Of course he would do everything in his power to save them. He’s such a selfless person, and even in his own, finally selfish act, he was still… pretty damn selfess. He just wanted Noctis to actually be able to live his life, and I personally can’t blame him for that.

Small Sidenote Personal Pet Peeve: If you disliked the Episode Ignis DLC because of the possiblity of what he states to be out of romantic attraction to Noctis, then that’s fine; but you’re walking on a thin line with me personally. I’m not saying you have to ship them by any means at all!! What I’m saying is if it puts you off because of the possibility that it’s gay, then you might be sorta…………….. homophobic, and I’d rather not deal with that, ya feel?

The NSFW Portion:

People tend to go all or nothing with Ignis, and I don’t really understand why. Of course there will always be people like that, and that’s fine, but I’ve never seen such a clear cut on all or nothing before? From what I’ve personally seen, Ignis is either a sex god, or he’s had absolutely no experience what so ever. He’s either a complete sub, or a complete dom, there’s no inbetween, and its odd to me.

While I may personally present my Ignis as a tad shy when it comes to affection and touching because I heavily headcanon him as being extremely touch starved and awkward (so he never really knows what to do with himself) I really dislike this trend. Middle grounds exist, honestly I personally see him in that middle ground. Its perfectly okay if you don’t, I’m just upset with the fandom as whole clearly neglecting it is all!

His age is generally the sort of “experiemental” stage where you try new things! So honestly, he’s probably had at least some experience with general sex, and even kink stuff too! He’s probably tried some things, but I really doubt he’s perfect at any of it. He’s probably dommed, and he’s probably subbed and there’s nothing wrong with any of that. Let him be awkward and try new things; let him feel out what he likes and does like! Let him be silly, or unsure of what he’s doing! Again, its okay if he’s not perfect, he’s not supposed to be; nobodys perfect!

EXTRA:

I really really really fucking love Ignis and I hate it when I see him get treated so poorly. Please stop treating my good boy so badly. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[scribblindown]

The Chocobros as Mermen

Mermaid AU, Slight Golden Age of Pirates AU 

Noctis:

The Little Mermaid reprise. His father is king, he falls in love with a human, there’s a tentacle sea witch out for his blood. (Except one’s name is Ardyn, the other is Ursula.)

Noctis is the prince of the undersea kingdom of Lucis, and has never broken the surface of the water before. 

He’s nice and sleek with a long tail that’s dark-blue, almost black under regular light, but when the sunlight hits it directly his scales becomes every shade of blue in existence. His gills are sharp and deep, adorning the sides of his toned waist and along the sides of his neck. His ears are slightly pointed and the fins on his forearms, lower back, and at the ends of his tail taper out like a thin sheer.  

Noctis doesn’t really care about humans, but he’s enamored with the sunlight. His father and Iggy tell him constantly not to get too close to the surface, or else he might be spotted, but it’s just so much warmer up there. His scales and his bare skin always feel like they’re being wrapped in a cozy hug. He always tries to get as close as he can to soak in the sunlight. 

Even so, he was content with never leaving the water. Why wasn’t he when he had all he needed here?

That was until he fell in love with you, a human. 

You were a noble’s kid whose ship had been attacked by pirates, and in the scuffle, you were thrown overboard, set to drown and die, but a surprised Noctis had seen the strange orange explosions, and suddenly he sees you sinking through the water. 

At first, he completely freezes. You are without a doubt the most beautiful creature he has ever seen. It makes his chest tighten and blood rush into his face. 

Are all humans this beautiful? 

Noctis reaches out and puts his hand on your cheek and he realizes that something is wrong. 

He freaks out for a bit before he remembers that Iggy said that humans need air, and he quickly takes you up to the surface. You manage to cough all of the water out, but fall unconscious quickly after.

Noctis debates for a while and decides that he should take you to shore and drop you off there, but by the time he lays your body down on the sand, Noctis already feels so attached to you, he doesn’t want to leave you. Then he hears human voices and footsteps and he knows that he has to flee.

Even weeks after your near-death experience Noctis continues to go back to that shore to hopefully see you again, but he debates about it, because he’s worried that you’ll expose his secret or that you won’t accept him, but the urge to see you is too much. 

You were sure that you saw a man, but no matter who you ask, all of them say that there was no man near you whatsoever when they found you.

You were convinced that you saw his tail too, but all of your servants dismiss it as you hitting your head or something, but no one else from the ship made it back. 

You walk back the shore late at night because you hoped that something would come to you, but you came up with nothing. 

But then you see black hair and sharp blue eyes poke out of the water and you scream and try to shuffle back. In an instant, Noctis jumps out of the water to slap a hand over your mouth and the both of you fall back into the sand. 

The two of you lay there for a while, your heartbeats slowing down and with the waves lapping at his tail and the ends of your socks and clothes. 

“A-Alright...?” he rasps out. 

You finally nod and he sighs, taking his hand away from your mouth. 

“A-Are you really a mermaid? Did you save me?”  He huffs, puffing out his cheeks slightly. “Merman,” he corrects, but then he nods to your latter question. You pause for a while, but then you send him a smile that can make his heart stop.  “Thank you very much then, I’m [Name].” 

He shyly introduces himself, and you ask him all kinds of questions and getting him to warm up to you. After that, you two become fast friends, and you would make escapades to see each other again. 

He’s addicted to touching you. Not in a sexual way, but he’s so fascinated with your skin and your legs. If you would let him, he could rub his hands up and down your bare legs for hours. 

If you ask nicely to touch his tail he’ll reluctantly let you do so because he is extremely sensitive and ticklish, so he’ll squirm a lot if you run your fingers down his scales. He hugs his tail protectively to himself afterward, and you think it’s so cute. 

He starts to have feelings for you but doesn’t quite know it yet. However the shy merman does know that he wants to impress you, so he starts scavenging through ship ruins to get random stuff for you. 

What about this human thing?? They’re human so they’ll like it, right??

He feels slightly embarrassed whenever you just awkwardly laugh politely and put whatever it was he got you off to the side. 

You’re thankful either way, it’s the thought that counts! 

But then he sees you wear some jewelry with pearls and the next day he brings you a whole handful of pearls that he got just that morning. 

He loves to watch the stars. You can’t see them under the sea, so when the two of you meet, sometimes you would just lay together and stargaze. 

His father and his friends worry about him. Noctis has been snooping through more human ruins lately and he’s been asking more questions about humans. 

“Ignis...um...Do you know how humans court each other?” 

Ignis finally gets suspicious enough to follow him and confronts Noctis about it. 

“Noctis, you have to understand that humans and merpeople cannot be together—!” 

“But, Ignis, I love them!” 

Prompto:

Prompto is a naturally carefree and curious person, and that eventually lead to his capture. 

It was a hard life for someone like you, being both young and an orphan, so you learned at a young age that the only way you would get clothes on your back and food on your plate was if you turned to a life of crime, so you became a pirate. 

You rise in the ranks of one of the most notorious pirate crews that had ever sailed the seven seas, and you sail through every single one of their actions: stealing, destroying, raiding, but the most current operation slowly makes you change your ways, the capture of a mermaid. 

They say that a mermaid’s tears can activate the Fountain of Youth out of the water turn into one of the valuable and beautiful gems in the world, and what better way to rake in the money than to have one mermaid all to yourself. 

You were indifferent about the whole capture and steal the mermaid thing, but you didn’t expect to fall for him at first glance. 

Prompto’s cries of pain as they dragged him into the large glass tank tugged at your heart and his sad blue eyes could drown you right there. 

Prompto’s tail is a nice golden color that becomes white when the sunlight hits his scales, and the gills on the sides of his neck are smooth to the touch. Unlike Noctis, he doesn’t have a fin on his back, but he has it on his forearms, and his tail fin is more opaque than Noct’s. His shoulders and shoulder blades are dusted with the slightest hint of gold scales, and you could stare at them for hours on end. 

Your crew would treat Prompto horribly, torturing him to collect his tears, and toss him back into his tank when they don’t need him again until later. 

You would be the one that would crack his glass tank open for him so he can get some more air, try to bandage up some of his wounds, and you would give him food. 

“Umm...I’m not quite sure what you eat, but I have some shrimp? Or kelp? If that’s any better...I have some human food too if that’s too far off...” 

He’d be scared of you at first, and try to scoot as far back in his glass tank as possible, but you would continually do him these deeds and he eventually warms up to you. 

The two of you would spend nights together, hidden away in one of the ship’s storage rooms. 

He’s curious about how the human world works and can listen to you talk for hours with a dreamy look on his face. To humor him you teach him how to use utensils and how to shoot a gun. 

He gets all warm inside when you gently dry his hands so the gun doesn’t get wet and when you guide his fingers. 

He’s very fascinated with your legs, sometimes when you talk to him he just stares at your legs when you sit down beside his tank. 

One day when you were standing up near his tank, you were suddenly knocked off your feet because Prompto grabbed your ankle and lifted it up. 

He didn’t know that you were going to fall like that! He thought that humans can stand up with only one leg! 

You were nursing a bruised bottom for the whole day. 

Your crew got a shipment of baby chocobos to transport to your next destination, and you bring Prompto one of them to show him more of the life on land, and he becomes completely enamored with the chubby little bird. The two cuddle for hours. 

“We don’t have anything as cute as this guy down in the ocean!” 

The two of you share dreams, and you admit that you don’t have any. 

“What’s yours, Prompto?”  “I want to walk down the...street...with you one day...”

Prompto had always thought that you were cool, suave, and beautiful, but the best of it all was that you were kind and considerate to him. He wonders if there are more humans like you, but eventually decides that you’re the only human he needs. 

However, his admiration for you turns into something more when you defend him for the first time. 

When the pirates want to use Prompto again, they would take him up to the deck and torture him until he cries. After abusing him for so long, Prompto’s tears would become less and less, so they have to kick it up a notch and push the blond near death. 

Every time they would hurt him, you would grit your teeth and stay silent, and you would look away, but this time they went too far and you can’t stay silent. 

“You’re killing him!” you shout, pushing your crew member aside to clear the path to Prompto. In an instant, his soft hand reaches over the tank to grab yours. His soft blue eyes clouded over with pain makes your anger soften.  “C’mon, [Name], don’t tell me you’re getting soft over that creature!” the crew member protests.  “He’s not a creature! He has a name!” you snap. 

You stare down at everyone who dares to fight against you, and your captain begrudgingly tells you to put Prompto back into storage.  

He blushes like a firetruck when you called him beautiful that night. Rarely anyone under the sea has ever called him beautiful, so when you, the best human ever, compliments him so sincerely, he can’t hold it in anymore and pulls you in for a kiss. When he realizes what he did, he pulls away instantly and stutters out a quick sorry, he didn’t know what came over him. 

You simply smile at him and offer him no words because you are just so happy. 

When your ship is under attack from another pirate crew, you instantly run to Prompto, who was already knocked out of the fish tank from the heavy rocking of the boat. You quickly give him your jacket to cover himself up and carry him to a secluded part of the deck while your crew mates are fighting on the other side. 

“Prompto!” you say as you lay him down on the edge of the railing. “Now’s your chance! You can leave!” 

You wanted to make this goodbye quick and fast so the pain of leaving someone you hold so dear couldn’t catch up to you, but when you turn around and try to run off Prompto grabs your hand. He quickly laces his fingers with yours. 

“Come with me, [Name]!” he pleads, his eyes welling with tears from the thought of leaving you. You give him a hesitant look and quickly take your hands back.  “I can’t follow you, Prompto...I don’t belong in the water.”  “But...what if I never see you again?!” He sounds pained. You slowly turn back to him, but you don’t meet his eyes. “Go.” 

Ignis: 

Unlike the other two, Ignis was a firm believer that humans and merpeople had no business with each other. The two worlds should stay separate. 

However, he does read in on the human world and learns all there is to know about humans from his fellow mermaids. 

That all gets thrown out of the window when you two meet. 

His tail is a dark, eggplant purple color with a tail fin that’s relatively pointed and long at the ends. Under the sunlight, his scales turn into a pretty violet, but most of the time it’s as dark as wine. He doesn’t have any fins on his back or his forearms, but he does have some thin, lace-like fins that run down the backside of his tail. Ignis has some pretty deep and sharp gills on the sides of his waist. 

You had recently moved into a house near the shore, complete with its own old pier tucked away from the rest of the beach. Ignis likes to go there to get some alone time and to people watch in secret. When the two of you meet for the first time, the two of you just stare at each other in complete and utter shock. 

Him, because he was spotted by a human, and you because you thought that he was unbelievably beautiful. It’s only when he swam away when you caught a glimpse of his tail. 

Ignis berates himself for being caught, and all logic points towards never going near that spot again, but his curiosity gets the better of him. The more he stays away, the more he wants to see you again. 

He’s seen humans before, but only from a distance. You’re the first human to ever see him. 

He finally decides to go back, just to see you again and make sure that you won’t tell the world that there was a mermaid sighting in this spot. He tells himself that if you aren’t there, then he’ll never go back to that spot ever again, but lo and behold, there you are. 

You sight up straighter when you see him, and you stiffen up. The two of you stare at each other for a while, neither saying a word. 

Eventually, you shift your eyes to the side and tell him that you’ve been coming back here every day just to see him again. 

You introduce yourself, and he does the same. Slowly, he becomes your reluctant friend, offering to trade information about the mermaid world for information about the human world. You soon become one of his important people. 

You and Ignis would ask each other questions for hours on end. Basic topics like culture, customs, lifestyle would come up often. 

But he’s most fascinated with human food. You share bits of your lunch with him and he becomes interested in recipes and ingredients from land. He wonders how he can transfer the recipes into a dish made from the ingredients he has under the sea. 

He’s also the one that’s the most comfortable in human clothing. Noctis, Prompto, and Gladio feel restricted in human clothing, but Ignis doesn’t mind it at all. You bring him some gloves and dress him up in a button up shirt, and you gush about how handsome he is. 

Iggy has to be part siren. Ignis has a lovely voice that enraptures you, and you find that you can listen to him for hours on end. It helps that he’s incredibly good looking too.  

If Ignis told you to jump into the water head-first so he can drown you, you probably would. 

You teach him human jokes and puns and it’s the biggest regret you have. The Chocobros probably curse you from under the sea too. 

Ignis’ hair is the same underwater or dried. It’s always that swept up style no matter what element. 

Ignis always brings you rare shells, pearls, sand dollars, and such as small gifts, but he does so in an attempted nonchalant way. Sometimes he would even string them together to make you a pearl chain or a shell crown. 

When Ignis realizes that he has feelings for you, he brushes it off, becoming almost flustered every time he sees you. He tells himself that it’s just because you’re a human, and therefore the most fascinating creature that he has met so far. But he sees beyond just legs and land dwelling. He wants to know more about you; insignificant little things like your favorite color, your favorite song, or what makes you laugh. He becomes enchanted by your smile and the color of your eyes. There’s little that he can do from keeping himself from going on and kiss the girl. 

His underwater kisses though! He’s a pro at pulling you into the water from your place on top of the pier, hands resting against your cheeks. He likes to hold you as close to him as possible when he kisses you and wraps his tail around your legs. 

Being a merman frustrates him sometimes because all of the things that you want, or you like, he can’t get for you. You like small, cute land animals that he has no way of reaching, or you want ingredients far away from the shore. All he wants to do is spoil you and make you happy. 

That’s alright because the only thing you want is to be near him. 

Then he gets caught up with saving Noctis from the cecaelian sea warlock, Ardyn. Not only does he suffer from an injury that renders him blind, there is no possible way of going back to your side; so he disappears from your life, all without a goodbye. 

Gladio: 

Mermaid hunts have become more and more popular recently, and with the pirate-infested shores that you live near, it’s a common thing to hear passersby talking about selling mermaid scales for a pretty penny or capturing them. 

Gladio gets injured from a scuffle with the heir to the nearby oceanic kingdom, Ravus, and gets separated from his friends from the current. 

He’s injured, he’s losing blood, and he’s weak, so when you see him washed up on the shore, you have to make a split second decision before he falls victim to the pirates. 

As if you had much of a choice in the first place. 

You’re lucky for being up so early that no one else sees you trying to carry/drag this behemoth of a merman with all of your strength to your house, before dropping him into your bathtub and healing him. 

He’s bigger than most mermen, and some people under the sea even jokingly call him “King Triton” because of his size. His tail is a dark garnet color, almost wine red and it’s built like a shark’s with no scales, complete with a tail fin in the shape and appearance of a shark’s as well. It’s longer than most people’s, to proportion it with his broad shoulders and wide torso, He only has gills on his neck, and they’re rough and wide across his skin. He has hard, smaller fins that jut out of the top of his tail, but his most distinctive feature is his beautiful face is the tattoo of a sea monster that he has stretching across his chest, arms, and his back. 

You’re a human with a normal sized bathtub, so Gladio’s tail just hangs off the edge of your tub. 

Gladio’s very wary of you at first; snappish, and a bit rude. He doesn’t trust humans, and just because you saved him that doesn’t mean he’s going to mindlessly fall into your arms. Your trust would have to creep on to him. 

You give him his space more often than not, and in the beginning, you only see him to change his bandages or to give him food. Gladio quickly learns that sitting in a bathroom for hours all alone can get boring. 

He asks you for some books to read and gets very pouty when he realizes that the human written language and the mermaid written language are different. He begrudgingly asks you to read the books to him, and you happily do so, sitting down on the bathroom floor and leaning against the tub.  

Since your parents and your siblings are the breadwinners of the family, you’re free to spend hours at home alone with him. 

Gladio soon falls in love with your voice. He becomes interested in human books at first but then realizes that he can listen to you read just about anything. Gladio loves to read, and the two of you can go through two books in a day, so your library runs low. You’re left reading him recipe books or the newspaper, but Gladio can listen to you for hours, even when you’re listing off ingredients and directions to a cake. 

Gladio acquires a taste for meat, but he doesn’t like it cooked. That shark side of him likes his food raw. It’s disgusting and fascinating at the same time to see him rip a slab of raw beef apart with his teeth. 

Gladio doesn’t complain about what you feed him though. He’ll eat small fish one by one like he’s eating grapes, and accepts all of the cheap food. 

He’s kind of like a pet because it’s always the cheap stuff that they love. 

If the others are more curious about human legs, Gladio’s more interested in your hair. Before you, he’s never seen dry hair before, so he loves to mess around with it whenever you spend time with him. Reading to him idly, you’ll feel him reach over and twirl a strand of hair around his finger, or attempt to braid it. 

If he’s feeling cheeky, he’ll slap your ass with his tail when you walk away.

Gladio would also like to keep his body in top shape, and being kept in a bathtub isn’t exactly the best workout, so you give him random heavy stuff to do reps with, or he’ll bench press you as you read to him.  

Gladio is a family man, so he likes to talk about Iris, Noctis, Iggy, and Prompto. In turn, he’ll ask more about you and your family. 

“I come from a family of...merchants.” 

He loves to pull you into the bathtub with him and into his lap, which annoys the hell out of you. 

“Stop, Gladdy! Your tail feels like sandpaper!” or, “No...! Now my clothes are wet!” is what you often say. 

When Gladio finally realizes that he fell for you, let me tell you, it isn’t very subtle. Gladio is charming and smooth, he can probably get someone to date him at the drop of a hat, but this is a special situation. 

You’re a human while he’s a merman, and he genuinely likes you, so Gladio constantly tells himself that he should be careful and cautious in courting you. 

To him, this just means that he kicks up his flirting by 100% and he speaks more from the heart. 

When his injuries don’t ache anymore, and the worst of it has healed up,  he finally decides to confess to you, you’re more panicked and on the edge. Eventually, you look him in the eye and tell him that he needs to leave. Without offering an explanation, you take him out of the tub and half-drag, half-carry him out of your door and back to the ocean. Gladio’s too worried about your behavior to try and fight you off, so he just tries to protest. 

But you’re too late, just when you try to open up the back door to take him back to the water, a pair of heavy black boots stop you, and you fearfully look up to meet the eyes of your older brother, one of the most notorious pirates of the seven seas, and number one mermaid killer, Nyx Ulric. 

[fortheloveofeos]

Noctis x Reader are childhood friends, secretly dating and no one knows about but on their way to Alissa, Noctis fights Leviathan then the reader becomes worried so Noctis proposes to the reader and a rough smut scene happens with them. And so Ardyn appears for the first time and almost kills the reader. Once Noctis finds out, he vows to kill Ardyn and get the crystal power back. (Like in chapter 8-9 in the game) So after the 10 year skip, he reunites with his friends and future wife.

This request got a little out of hand and is longer than Iplanned. For that reason, I didn’t make it through everything in your request,but if you want a part two just let me know. I’ve probably re-written this atleast fifty times which is why it took so long. Sorry about that.

For this story, Noctis was originally meant to meet Luna sothat she could help him gain the blessings of the Six by secret order of kingRegis as a way to get Noct out of the Crown City.

XXX

Accident was basically your middle name. It had always beenthat way. If there was a way to hurt yourself, usually it was nothing a fewband aids or some superglue couldn’t fix, you would find it as sure as theworld. So, it really was no surprise that you found yourself face first in theplayground on the first day of third grade. Your shoes were just a little toobig and when you chased after your friend after she had tagged you “it”, thetoe of your shoe caught on in the woodchips and sent your sprawling across thesplintering ground.

The world pitched forward as you tried to pick yourself up,doing your very best to not let the tears building up behind your eyes to spillforward. The giggles of your classmates weren’t doing much to help you try andkeep yourself from crying, the red liquid beginning to drip from your knee ontothe woodchips burning and adding to the tears. A small sniffle left you just asa pair of fully black shoes shuffled into your vision.

The boy in front of you was dressed in a black shirt andshorts to match his shoes, a sleeveless jacket hanging unzipped and loosearound his small frame. He held a pale hand out in front of him, blue eyespeaking curiously from behind the fringe of messy raven locks. His grip wassurprisingly firm as he helped you up.

Sniffling, you wiped away a rogue tear that slipped throughthe damn. “Th-thanks,” you mumbled. The scape on your knee wasn’t too bad butwas bleeding enough that you knew you would need a few bandages to staunch thebleeding.

Shooting a dirty look to a group of giggling kids, the black-hairedboy helped you limp over to the teacher. Your parents had already warned herthat you were clumsy you and she was waiting to help you to the nurse to havethe scrape cleaned. When you learned later that your knight in black armor wasthe prince of Lucis himself, you were more surprised that someone had been sonice to the clumsy little girl. His title meant very little to you even then.

From that day forward, You and Noctis had becomeinseparable. He was calm and gentle and always seemed to know what to do whenyour klutz-iness appeared. Whenever you spilled orange juice down your dress inthe fifth grade, he gave you his jacket. He went with you to the drugstore topick out the right shade of concealer to cover your black eye in the seventhgrade and even offered to help you, very carefully, put it on before school thenext day. He was also there through the broken hearts, the awkward years ofpuberty, and the snapped heal of fall formal that nearly ended in your brokenneck (he caught you before you could tumble down the stairs). It was onlynatural that you would help escort Noctis on his quest to become a true king.

But when Insomnia fell, everything changed.

Luna was meant to meet your party outside of Insomnia. Shewas going to help Noctis begin the Rites and gain the favor of the Six. It wasa miracle she had managed to escape the Empire at all after their lies.Surprisingly, she had found passage to Alitissa where she would meet Noctisonce he had gathered the weapons of his ancestors. He would need all the helphe could get to reclaim his homeland.

It was hard for you to watch as the strong, gentle princeyou knew fell apart behind the walls he had constructed so carefully. On theoutside, he was holding himself together. On the inside, you could see the painhidden behind the darkening galaxies that made up his eyes. Prompto, Ignis, andGladio were also suffering and you had no idea what to do. You had all lostsomeone, everyone, in the fall of the Crown City. The five of you did the onlything you knew how to do: you fought like hell.

Getting that damned boat in proper working condition againproved harder than originally thought. It took weeks before you were loaded upand headed to Atlissa. The moment you stepped onto the docks, you hand naturallywove through Noct’s. The two of you had walked through the streets of Insomniahand in hand a dozen times, but something about this felt different. Yousqueezed his fingers as you searched for some sort of contact that wouldreassure you. What he was there to do was dangerous. Dealing with Titan hadnearly killed you all even without the Empire’s interference. Ramah hadn’texactly made things easy and Luna had already warned that Leviathan would alsobe difficult. Losing your family had been hard. Losing your best friend and theonly person in the world that knew who you were in your heart…you couldn’t eventhink the words.

Deciding that everyone deserved a night of rest and plansstill needed to be made on how to evacuate the city, your group of six decidedto split for the night to take in the beautiful city. Gladio had left in searchof a used book store he had heard mentioned by a passerby, Luna and Ignis haddecided on dinner at a famous spot on the water, Prompto was off to photographthe serene city – which was probably good considering much of it would bedestroyed after Noctis faced Leviathan – and Noctis had shut himself in hisroom for a nap.

You had never been out of Insomnia before this trip and youwere dying to take in the city’s beauty for yourself. Dressed in a flowy, softdress that fell just above your knees and a pair of sandals rather than yourLucian black Crownsguard attire, you left the hotel on your own. The front deskprovided you with several pamphlets and a map of the city, the desk clerk kindenough to mark his favorite places for you. A tiny coffee shop had caught yourinterest and you set off in hopes of finding your caffeine fix and somethingsweet to start off your evening.

The sound of your name being called over the gentlecommotion of the urban evening found your ears before you had even left thesight of the hotel. Turning, your eyes immediately landed on Noctis as he wavedand jogged to catch up with you. He was dressed casually, his behemoth jacketdraped around his form and his hair pushed back by the cap on his head. “Careif I join?”

“Not at all, my prince,” you laughed and laced your armthrough his. Again, it was completely usual for the two of you to touch socasually but something felt different this time. Your skin buzzed with anelectric warmth where your arms touched, even through his jacket. If you hadn’tknown better, you would have been inclined to think Noctis was using some sortof thunder magic but judging by the way he nervously glanced towards your armshe felt the same thing.

The coffee shop was closer than you had expected and thewarm liquid only added to your buzzing nerves. The two of you grabbed a seatjust outside the shop but had immediately fallen into a silence – one that wasawkward and anything but comfortable. You sat with both hands clasped aroundthe paper cup and you studied the dark liquid inside as if it held the answersto all your problems. Noctis slumped back in his seat and the brim of his capkept you from realizing that his blue eyes were narrowed ever so slightly as hestudied you. He had been so still for so long that you had assumed he hadfallen asleep.

When he finally leaned forward, his hands coming to cupyours where they encircled your coffee, you gasped at the sudden contact. Yourcheeks burning but you forced your eyes to meet his, a shiver running down yourspine. “Something is bothering you.” His voice held something softer, sweeterthan its usual tone. It was the tone he reserved for speaking with you.

You thought about denying it. You considering lying andsaying that everything was fine, that you were merely tired from your journey,but you knew that Noctis would see through your lie before you had evenfinished speaking it. “I can’t lose you,” you whispered. Tears fell one afterthe other unbidden from your eyes. You were both surprised at your sudden showfor emotion but no matter how many time you wiped them away, more fell in theirplace.

A hand caressed your cheek and you leaned into his touchinstinctually. “I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it,” Noctis promised.

With a violent shake of your head, you pushed Noctis’ handsaway from you. You stood so quickly that the metal chair you had been sittingin nearly toppled over and drew the attention of several others. “Then how am Isupposed to? You could die when you face Leviathan, Noctis. Luna said itherself. She won’t go easy on you and the Empire is breathing down our necks.They’ll attack the second they catch wind of the rite.” You tried to containyour volume but you were forced to clench your hands until your knuckles burnedwhite and your fingernails bit into your palms in order to remain grounded. Youweren’t angry with Noctis, not really, but you were angry and you were scaredand you had no idea what you could do to fix any of it.

Unable to stand there anymore, you left a stunned Noctis inhis chair and turned back to the hotel. A few steps away and you were sprintingback to your room. The tears that had started to fall were now cascading in atorrent that removed all traced of your makeup as you wiped them away. You hadno idea exactly why you were crying and you were angry at your outburst. Thetwo of you had never once had an argument and you had nearly screamed at himfor something he hadn’t even done yet.

“Damn it,” you growled through your teeth as the keycard toyour room slipped from your shaking grasp. Before you could stoop to pick itup, another hand had recovered the flimsy plastic and shoved it into the door.Midnight blue eyes flashed in your vision before you were pushed inside and thedoor was slammed and locked behind you. “Noct-“

Slightly chapped lips collided with yours, the kiss tastingof strong coffee and your salty tears. His hands pressed you against him: onetangled in your hair and the other in the small of your back. He ground hiships into yours and when you gasped against his lips, he slipped his tongueinto your mouth claiming it for himself. Breathless at the sudden loss ofcontact, Noctis shoved you backwards, hard, and you fell back onto the bed. Ina flash, Noctis was situated between your parted legs looking down at you as hetowered over you on the bed. “I’m not leaving you. Not now, not ever. Anddefinitely not until I prove something to you and to myself.” The honey wasstill in his voice but now it was laced with something dark and equally asinviting.

“What’s that?” you swallowed to clear your throat. Hisdisplay of dominance had come out of nowhere and it was doing things to yourbody that you hadn’t known your best friend was capable of. It was miles awayfrom his usual calm and somewhat lazy attitude that he usually carried himselfwith.

A trademark smirk pulled at the young king’s lips before heran his tongue against the inside of his teeth for you to see. “You’re mine.You’ve always been mine,” he nearly growled. His eyes glinted purple in the dimlighting of the room and you shivered at the sight. “Say it,” he whispered intoyour ear. His voice was still rough but he was nearly pleading with you now. “Sayit or I’ll go back to my room.”

“I’ve always been yours, Noct,” you promised him as hesucked harshly at the skin above your collarbone. “I’ve been yours since youpulled me up off the playground.” Gasping as he nipped down onto the new markbefore he blew cool air across it, you threaded your fingers into his hair andtugged at the roots.

Noctis moaned, his hips pressing firmly against your clothedheat and you could feel just how turned on the situation had made him. “I’veimagined this for years,” he confessed breathlessly against your lips, notquite kissing you. His lips grazed yours as he spoke. “I want…I need to claimyou as mine. Please. I won’t ask you again if you –“

You cut him off with a searing kiss that you felt in everypiece of your body and soul. You were both so hungry for the other that yourteeth clicked together as you both did your best to undo the other. Noctisgrowled and had the both of you undressed in record time, your clothes becominga pile in the extravagant room. He pinned your wrists above your head with onehand while his other massaged the skin above your hip bone, rubbing in harshcircles that you sucking a breath between your teeth. “You feel so soft,”Noctis moaned against your neck as his fingers dipped down to your core. “Sowet.”

Involuntarily, your hips bucked up into his touch. “Noct,”his name left your lips in a broken whimper as he stretched you. You wereembarrassed slightly at just how much he had gotten to you. Already, you couldfeel your own slick on your thighs and knew that his fingers would be coated inrecord time. After only a few thrusts of his fingers, the sound of themslipping in and out of your dripping entrance met your ears. Heat rushed toyour cheeks and you struggled slightly under his grasp in hopes of freeing yourhands.

Rather than releasing you, Noctis’ grip tightened aroundyour wrists and he leaned forward so that he could speak lowly directly intoyour ear. “Don’t fight me, my queen,” he stressed the title in a sinful whisperthat fanned out as his hot breath met your flushed skin. He curled his fingersjust so as if to punctuate his words and you choked on a moan. As he rubbed at yourswollen and sensitive clit, he continued his sensual assault and you writhedbeneath him. Realizing how close you were to finding the relief you were barelyavoiding begging him for, Noctis suddenly removed his fingers from youcompletely but kept your wrists secured.

“Tease,” you pouted as you tried to even your breathing. Youhad been so close and your legs still quaked slightly from the sudden denial.

Chuckling at your flushed appearance and your attempt toseem angry, Noctis left a dark hickey blossoming at your collarbone. Youfelt his soft lips and warm breath make its way across your neck. As you letout a soft moan, his violet eyes shifted to an intimidating red. In a quick motion,he positioned himself and entered you fully. Even in his haste, he gave you amoment to adjust before setting up a fast and insistent pace. Each time hiships snapped forward against yours, your hips instinctually moved up to meethim.

Despite his rough grip on your wrists and his fast pace,Noctis nibbled sweetly against your neck and sought your lips in a needy kissthat very nearly made you forget to breathe. He continued to slam into you withneed and force and you keened and squirmed in his grasp from the pleasure hewas inflicting upon you. Quickly, the release you had been denied before beganto build low and burning in your belly. “Noct,” you gasped between a fewparticularly hard thrusts and you knew he must be getting close as well.

Hearing the need in your voice, Noctis sat back on hishaunches and used his free hand to seek out you clit once more, this timepressing firm and fast circles against the swollen bundle of nerves. He watchedhungrily as your breasts bounced on your chest from the force of his thrusts,as your back arched beneath his touch. “Come for me,” he growled the command,his eyes burning into you with the power they held.

His command enough to set you over the edge. He to pistoninto you in the same pace that had built your orgasm, his fingers chasing closebehind to push you through wave after wave of pleasure that wracked your body.As you whined out his name, he released your wrists and pulled you close.Squirming uncontrollably in his grasp, you felt him slam into you one last timebefore finding his own release and dropping to the mattress beside you.

Staring at the ceiling as you fought to regain your breath,Noctis pulled you close so that he could nuzzle you against his chest. Alltraces of his connection to the Six had faded from his eyes and they hadreturned to their usual deep blue. A small, impish grin crossed his mouthbefore he pecked his lips against yours. “Are you okay?” he questioned softly.

“ ‘m fine,” you hummed with a lazy smile. Stretching yourarms over your head, you winced at the soreness between your legs. The softsheets pooled around your hips leaving your torso clear for him to see. Hislove bites littered across your neck and shoulder contrasted perfectly withyour otherwise flawless complexion. Your hair spilled messily down your back ina sex-mussed style that he decided was his favorite look for you.

Noctis smiled, the apparent worry that he had been too roughleaving him at the satisfaction clear on your face. “You really are beautiful,”Noctis admired, crossing his arms behind his head and leaning back against theheadboard. “I’ve always thought so.” His words came easily, the two of youalways speaking to the other truthfully.

Giggling, you flipped your hair over your shoulder andbatted your eyelashes at him. “Did you just compliment me, your highness?”

“Stop that,” he laughed and pulled you back into the circleof his arms. “I am sorry I waited so long…to do this.” He pushed a few roguestrands of his black hair from his eyes as he studied you closely for severalmoments. When he didn’t speak, you felt your cheeks begin to burn before Noctisrose so that he could give you possibly the sweetest and softest kiss of yourlife.

The sound of his strong heartbeat pounding under your ear asyou relaxed against his chest made you sigh in contentment. “We have time,” youpromised him.

“Time,” he nodded as he stared up into the ceiling. “Actually,I guess now is probably the best time.” He carefully detangled himself from youbefore going to find his pants in the pile of discarded clothing on the floor.You watched him curiously before he found whatever he was looking for andclimbed back onto the bed. Holding his hands out before him, he opened the lidto a lush, midnight velvet box. Inside, a beautiful black diamond ring rest onwhite satin. Nervously, Noctis mumbled your name before taking a steadyingbreath.

“Yes.” You cut him off before he had a chance to strugglethrough the question. You didn’t need to think about your answer or what wouldhappen to the two of you. He had always been your person, the other half toyour heart, and the gorgeous ring would only make sure that others knew it aswell. “Yes, I will marry you King Noctis Lucis Caelum.” Tears sprang to youreyes as you nodded, a goofy grin taking up residence on your face.

Stunned, Noctis’ eyes widened before he claimed your lipswith his once more. “You will?” You nodded again and he slipped the ring ontoyour finger. Unsurprisingly, it fit like a glove. “I’ve carried this damn thingaround for weeks,” he admitted with a scratch to the back of his neck. “Ipromise you won’t loose me. I promise you that we will have a happy lifetogether, no matter what I have to do to ensure my promise.”

Nodding, you threw your arms around your king and coveredhis face and neck in featherlight kisses. Six be damned if they thought theycould tear the two of you apart. “You better,” you laughed and nuzzled yourselfinto the crook of his neck.

[ckyking]

izanami!au

okay, so, this started as an idea about my yet unposted noctis ulric!au in which nyx’s father aka papa ulric aka néit saves noctis from the marilith and raises him alongside nyx and serena. then, years later, nyx and noctis join the kingsglaive, and noctis slowly starts to reconnect with regis. really, that’s all is needed to understand this au. are we good? okay let’s go! 

this came from a thought i had that was inspired by versus xiii

what if noctis was possessed?

what if an aspect of etro, goddess of death, survived her demise and used noctis as a vessel? 

she chose the body that would have housed the crystal’s power, deeming it a fitting container for her magic and soul

she, the destruction aspect of death, stayed dormant until years later, after both nyx and noct became glaives and noct reunited with regis.

using his proximity to the crystal as a catalyst, she takes over his body and intends to force him to destroy eos, so the world etro loved so much could join her in death

the crystal was nearly completely drained in the process, leaving insomnia defenceless and forcing regis to evacuate the city

the crown city falls and becomes her stronghold. 

she cannot yet lay waste to eos as she wishes, because noctis is still fighting her and most of her powers cannot yet be funneled through him. she has to slowly break the world's resistance while overwhelming her vessel, so she will gain back the full use of her powers

his body starts failing not long after, because he was never meant to hold that much power, nor so much death. in the beginning, he fought desperately to take back his body, until his soul exhausted itself and fell asleep to maintain its existence

the only times he wakes is when she threatens people he loves, but she puts him back to sleep so his body will last longer. 

mainly, she uses magic and her own servants, reanimated monsters and human beings. being an aspect of death, she subjugated the lucian souls dwelling in the tempering grounds and banished gilgamesh, making them into her personal army. 

it was made that much easier by the fact that noctis was supposed to be their future liege, and obey his blood, if not his will

carbuncle shelters noctis as much as possible in his sleep and works tirelessly to find a solution.

it's while combing through the dreams of his realm that he finds a long-forgotten one from the goddess herself, having left it there in preparation of her other self's awakening. 

in his dreams, noctis meets her, and she gives him the last part of her powers over time, to counteract his decay and slowly accustom him to the change she is starting 

he doesn't know it, but more and more of the lucian souls are rejecting the goddess' orders in small ways, stopping themselves from attacking or destroying reanimated monsters.

this is because noctis is slowly becoming another aspect of death, inevitability, the knowledge that death will come for everything. 

as their liege and now on the same level as the one possessing him, his claim is stronger than hers and the balance of power is shifting back to him

the lucians can feel this, even if their “mistress” cannot, so lost is she in trying to subjugate both eos and her vessel

in the meantime, regis, the kingsglaive and the crownsguard organized the evacuation to tenebrae and the various towns around lucis. 

néit and some of his warriors joined nyx and regis when he learned of insomnia's fate, and the rumor that it was the fault of the king's own son's

the three of them separated not too long after, with regis going to tenebrae with clarus and the rest of his people to find out more about what is possessing noctis and to be healed from the blow the crystal's loss dealt him 

he fought to stay and help noctis. 

néit and nyx organized the resistance to keep the goddess' army contained around insomnia, using the remnants of the crystal’s power and galahd’s old magicks

they are witnesses to noct's slow transformation over time, from his black eyes to the deathly white of his skin or the ceremonial clothes that he wears while directing the goddess' army. 

they try to reason with him, to find out what is going on but she tortures them every time by allowing a glimpse of noctis to show through before smothering him once more.

"the father of his heart and his lover. the triangle would be complete if not for the father of his flesh. how interesting. he is begging me to spare you, do you know that? but if he continues, his body may just fail. how cruel of you to subject him to this."

they get to see black bleeding back into pained blue for a second before a cruel laugh so unlike the ones they were used to escapes noctis’ lips, and the goddess reappears once more

she never actually moves under her own strength, either using monsters as mounts or levitating

except, a few weeks after noctis’ possession, she joins the battlefield, and how she moves

her style is nothing like the one noctis refined over the years, preferring brute strength and devastating spells over weapons and speed

she cuts a swath of destruction through the resistance, leaving nothing but ashes in her wake

she can feel noctis getting weaker, and intends to end him once and for all by forcing him to kill two of the most important persons in his life with his own hands

but noctis is not getting weaker, he is actually getting stronger and finishing his ascencion to a different plane of existence, which is why he feels fainter to her senses

so blinded by her goals, she does not realize this until it’s too late

just as she is about to strike nyx down, néit too far to intervene, glowing blades stabs out of noctis’ chest

nyx’s heart leaps when he recognizes noctis’ daggers, the ones they had hunted the materials for together

with a scream of pain and rage from the goddess, noctis, the actual noctis, rips his way out from his possessed body’s chest

“hey hero, you missed me?”

“you fucking asshole, we thought you were gone.”

noctis looks completely different however; his black hair turned white, the blue of his eyes sharpened to an unnatural shade, the sheer amount of strength that emanates from him

he recreated a new body of his own, and left the broken one to the goddess who wrecked it with her own hands

both of them are now of the lucis line, but the souls know who their liege is

and noctis takes back the lucian warriors from her

“it shouldn’t be possible! how did you- she is dead!”

“not as much as you think.”

she can recognize etro’s power in him, and she does not understand

this is how the second astral war begins

a war to decide the successor to the unseen goddess, ruler of the underworld just as bahamut is the ruler of the waking world

destruction or inevitability? only time shall tell

[salty-dracon]

ace hang plays my darling, a visual novel

DELICIOUS BOYFRIEND! | My Darling Full Playthrough | Ace Hang Plays

Lily: So let me get this straight. It’s a very short visual novel? And it’s... interesting?

Brid: Yeah. 

Val: Okay, so the last visual novel you recommended us was that one with the pigeons. So, if it’s a half hour long game that you liked, it’s probably either really good or terrifying. 

Brid: I guess you’ll never know which one until you start playing it. 

Arthur: Should I.... keep my eyes closed? 

---------

Arthur: Hey everyone, Ace Hang here! I’m Arthur!

Lily: I’m Lily!

Val: I’m Val!

Brid: And I’m Bridget! And we’re playing My Darling, a romantic visual novel game that I found on YouTube last night and thought the guys would enjoy playing!

Lily: You terrify me, lady. 

Val: See, I didn’t know that Hatoful Boyfriend would be like, a borderline horror game until you got me to play it for my channel. 

Arthur: Seriously? I always knew it was a horror game. 

Val: What the fuck? You didn’t tell me? 

Arthur: Brid and I were discussing it the other day, and she told me not to tell you anything about it. 

Val: But our playthrough of Calling Cipher- ugh, whatever. Point is, every time Brid recommends us a game, it’s either really good or a horror game. And with a title like “My Darling”, it’s probably not because it’s good. 

Lily: Um, do I get to roast the anime boys? 

Brid: Please. Do it. Literally half of the reason I picked this one out was for you to roast the anime boys. 

Val: And the other half? 

Brid: .... You don’t need to know that. 

Arthur: Are you going to use someone’s murder plot on us? 

Brid: What the fuck, of course not!

Lily: Okay, you red-haired bitch- NOT YOU BRIDGET- time to destroy your self-esteem. 

Brid: *snort*

Lily: Oh, uh, “What’s your name?”

Val: Okay, we gotta think of something stupid. Like, the level of your Noctis Umbra videos stupid. 

Lily: I mean, My Dude worked well, but like... we need something better. 

Val: Yeah. Uh, how about Bro? Oh, but I’m not sure how well that would work... since we’re probably playing a girl... 

Lily: It can be a gender-neutral bro. Like how I call everyone “dude”? 

Val: Good point, but like, Brid doesn’t want us to ruin the immersion. 

Brid: I say go for it. You could actually pull that one off. I don’t think gender is a big factor in the game.

Lily: Seriously?! We can do the bro stuff?!

Brid: I mean, besides all the pink. 

Val: BRO!

Arthur: BRO!

Lily: BRO!

Brid: BRO!

---------

Arthur: Can I voice him? Val gets to voice all the hot guys. 

Lily: Please, I wanna see your take on him!

Arthur: Okay. Let’s go. “Welcome!” His shading is, uh, interesting. Oh, look at his apron. “Best cook”. I bet he’s a good cook.

Lily: I bet he’s a shit cook.

Brid: “This is Takuya, my partner. We’ve been together for five years and are deeply in love.”

Val: So... not a dating sim? Unless we get to cheat on this guy?

Brid: “In the evening, when I come home from work, he greets me with a smile and hastens to prepare dinner. His words are so sweet.”

Val: I don’t trust him. 

Lily: God, if her internal monologue is just going to be “god he’s so cute” instead of “i love him” or something cute like that, it’s gonna suck. Gotta make it gay, man.

Brid: You want me to do a guy voice?

Lily: Please. 

Brid: *laughing* Okay! *lowered voice* “Good evening, my darling, I see you’re wearing the apron I gave you!”

Lily: TITLE DROP WHOOO

Arthur: “You noticed? Yes, I like it a lot!” Because he’s the best cook! See! It says so!

Brid: “Good. It suits you very well.”

Arthur: “Don’t say that kind of thing, bro!”

Brid: Bro. 

Lily: BROOOOOOOO

Brid: “Sorry, I couldn’t help it, bro. He is so cute.” 

Val: And then, we get into the hentai. 

Arthur: “I’ll take your things and put them away. Why don’t you rest in the living room while I go get dinner?”

Brid: *regular voice* “You’re right. Just let me take my phone. I search my pockets but can’t find it. Takuya has a strange expression. It looks like something is bothering him.”

Val: He stole our phone. 

Lily: Why are you so suspicious of him?!

Brid: “I completely forgot where I put it. It’s annoying, since I’d like to read the news.”

Arthur: “Don’t worry. I got you a newspaper. I know you like reading the news in the evening, so I buy you a newspaper every night! And you know why.”

Val: ... why? 

Lily: Beating up spiders? Garfield style? 

Arthur: “Screens poison couples. They cause addiction and isolation.”

Brid: “Yes, I know. That’s why we have no TV or computer.”

Lily: ... 

Val: ... 

Arthur: ... 

Brid: ... 

Lily: Uh, what the fuck? 

Arthur: Are we in some kind of abusive relationship?

Val: ... Yeah, what the fuck? No phone, no TV, no computer... are we being held hostage?

Lily: Okay, maybe you were right not to trust this guy. 

Arthur: “Anyway, the only person I want to see or talk to is you, Bro.”

Brid: Aw, thanks, bro! 

Arthur: You’re my best bro, bro!

Brid: I love you bro! 

Arthur: I love you too, bro! 

Brid: “You always say sweet words to evade the issue. You’re lucky it works pretty well.”

Arthur: “Stop teasing me!” Okay, like.... I don’t like him. Already. He says sweet words to evade the issue, of no screens, and him probably stealing our phone. 

Val: Seriously, look up Idiot Plot on TVTropes, okay? Because this is an Idiot Plot. 

Lily: Seriously. 

---------

Brid: “I forget a lot of things, because I have amnesia.”

Lily: Amnesia? Okay, this is bullshit-

Brid: I actually looked this one up. It’s called anterograde amnesia. You can’t form new memories. 

Lily: Oh, like Soren Sprocket from AA6!

Brid: Yeah, like him. 

Lily: I knew that was a real thing, I just wasn’t sure what it was called. Still don’t trust this guy. 

Val: Yeah, me neither. 

Arthur: “Here’s your lemonade. Look, I even put a straw in it to make a festive atmosphere. It’s your favorite color.”

Lily: ... wow, that’s, uh... 

Val: I hate this guy. So much. 

Arthur: Like can you imagine how sad her life must be? Goes to work, doesn’t have screens at home, kisses her boyfriend over a straw that’s her favorite color... 

Val: I do not trust this guy. I just can’t.

Brid: “Hey, thanks for staying with me.”

Arthur: “Bro... ”

Brid: Bro, you mean everything to me. Like, no homo, bro, but, I’m so happy you’re here for me. 

Arthur: I love you too, bro. I’m never gonna leave you, because you mean everything to me, bro. 

Lily: Bro. 

Val: BROOOOOO

----------

Lily: Awwww, he’s feeding us now. Beef and potato stew? Licious. 

Brid: Y’know, I don’t understand why couples find it cute to feed each other. It’s like, have you ever tried to feed a baby? Like, they take it all fine till they’re like, 12 months, but once the baby develops teeth-

Val: Oh my god, I used to have to feed my cousins- they were like 4 at the time, and twins- I had to feed them some stew with green peppers, and they’d just knock it out of my hand, even if they wanted it. I got frustrated so easily and then made one of them cry when i shoved the spoon in too hard. You have to be really careful. 

Lily: ... Ouch.

Val: Yeah. Man, I felt so bad after I did that. But feeding kids once they grow teeth in is hard.

Arthur: And yeah, if you’re fed while you have teeth, it’s like... awkward. I don’t know, maybe I’m used to having food randomly shoved into my mouth with a larger bite than I eat. 

Brid: Oh, big mood, I hate it when people try to feed me with a bigger bite than’s usual for me. 

Lily: ... 

Lily: Am I the only one that actually likes being fed? With a spoon? 

Val: ... He’s absolutely feeding us dead bodies. I’m so sure of it. 

Lily: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

Val: I DON’T TRUST THIS BITCH HE’S PROBABLY LIKE A CANNIBAL OR SOMETHING

------------

Brid: “I lean against the wall to pick up the towel. Suddenly a part of the wall collapses, revealing a small hole. This part of the wall looks like it was sealed and then painted over.”

Val: DEAD BODY

Lily: ... Yeah probably. 

Arthur: Oh boy. 

Brid: “I peer through the hole, seeing pipes- and among them, a human head, legs, and torso.”

Val: HE CUT UP A BODY

Brid: “A corpse.” Val, look at the art. He did not cut up a body. 

Val: HE KILLED A BODY

Arthur: “Body” implies that it’s already dead. 

Val: HE KILLED A PERSON

Brid: There we go. 

Lily: Wait, so he killed a person? 

Brid: Who’s ‘he’?

Lily: ... Brid, you just said ‘He killed a person’. 

Brid: No, Val said that. 

Val: And you agreed with me. 

Brid: You never specified who ‘he’ was. 

Val: There’s only one other guy in the story. Takuya.

Brid: “He” could be God. 

Val: Does Mr. Shitty Teal Apron look like God to you? 

Arthur: You’re God. 

Val: DAMN RIGHT I’M GOD

Lily: ... Wait, what were we talking about? 

---------

Brid: “I saw a body in the bathroom.”

Arthur: “I think you just had a bad nightmare. Everything will be fine, don’t worry! I’ll take care of it after I do the dishes.”

Brid: “There’s a BODY in the BATHROOM and all you can think about is DISHES?!”

Arthur: “A healthy house begets a healthy mind. We must eliminate all kinds of nuisance to be at peace.” ... I don’t like this guy.

Lily: BOI

Val: HE MURDERED THAT BODY

Lily: DAMN RIGHT HE DID

Arthur: Oh boy. Th-Theories? 

Val: He’s a cannibal. He’s trying to get us to be cannibals too. That or he’s raising us like livestock to eat. Promised Neverland style. 

Lily: Zombie apocalypse. He’s trying to keep us sane. Only uninfected meat is humans. He wants to feed us meat. 

Arthur: ... He’s absolutely going to snap and try to kill us if we say we don’t love him. It’s going to be scary. 

Brid: ... Yeah, it’s fucked up, huh? 

---------

Brid: “I hear some strange sounds downstairs. Why is he cooking at this hour?”

Val: CANNIBALISM

Lily: YEAH

Arthur: TAKUYA DONT EAT PEOPLE

Brid: *stifling a giggle* “The noise sounds like a knife cutting something.”

Val: GUESS THAT BEEF STEW WASNT REALLY BEEF HUH

Lily: I THINK YOU’D KNOW WHAT BEEF TASTES LIKE 

Val: AMNESIA

Lily: GOOD POINT

Brid: “I pause for a moment, worrying he’ll be angry.”

Lily: HE LOCKED US IN A ROOM. FUCK HIM. 

Arthur: I SWEAR HE’LL SHOW UP AND BE COVERED IN BLOOD

Lily: OH GOD

Arthur: It’s like, we walk in, and he’s covered in blood, and he’s like- Naw, bro! I know you see all this blood on my chest, but calm down! It’s just pig blood, see? Was making some fresh pork for you, bro!

Brid: *cracking up* Aww, bro, it’s all over yourself! All over your sexy, manly arms!

Arthur: Yeah, bro. I need to wash this stuff off, but there’s too much and it’s all stuck to my hairy chest, bro!

Brid: I’ll help you, bro! Let’s take a shower together so we can clean it all off, bro! 

Arthur: Sounds awesome, bro! No homo, bro!

----------

Brid: Aaaaand there’s our big bloody boy. 

Lily: Please never say anything remotely like that again. 

Val: Try and explain your way outta this one, you fuck. 

Arthur: “Bro you had to stay in the room! Go back there now!”

Brid: “I push Takuya away and repress the urge to vomit. The air is filled with the disgusting stench of blood. The countertops are covered in red. Several garbage bags lie on the ground, filled with distinctive shapes.”

Val: Is he... not a cannibal?

Lily: Don’t ask me.

Arthur: “This person is a man who hung around you. He was bad, so I took control of things.”

Brid: “You killed a guy!”

Arthur: “I had to!”

Brid: “You’re crazy!”

Lily: As if that weren’t already clear from him throwing out all of our screens. 

Val: Yeah. Wait, didn’t they say she went to work? Doesn’t she get to see screens there?

Brid: “His eyes darken.”

Arthur: “Don’t say things like that. All of it. I did it for you.” Great, creepy eyes now. He’s gonna kill us next. Fuck.

Brid: “I feel a rush of adrenaline as I rush towards the entrance.”

Lily: GRAB A WEAPON!

Val: THAT BITCH HAS A KNIFE

Lily: OH FUCK

Arthur: D-Don’t yell!

Val: LIVING ROOM NOW

Lily: UNDER THE TABLE

Val: HE HAS A KNIFE

Lily: SHE HAS A TABLE

Arthur: “Bro, come here.”

Lily: RUN

Val: YEAHHHHH SHE GOT OUT

Brid: You guys are having way too much fun with this.

Lily: RUN FOR THE DOOR

Val: FUCK HE CAUGHT US- OH GOD HE’S CLOSE

Lily: AAAAAAAA WHY DOES THE GAME DO THAT

Arthur: Are you two okay?!

Val: No. We’re not. We hate this guy.

Lily: With a passion. 

Val: OH FUCK A CROSSROADS. BEDROOM OR BATHROOM

Lily: UHHHH. OH FUCK. BATHROOM. 

Val: Yeah, he’ll lock us in the bedroom!

Lily: GOOOO

(Arthur and Brid click the option while they’re enjoying Lily and Val’s shouting)

Brid: “I pick up a hair dryer.”

Lily: OHHH IS SHE GONNA STRANGLE HIM WITH THE HAIR DRYER?!

Val: FUCK YEAH GIRL

Lily: GO FOR IT BRO!

Val: Or... smack him. That works too, I guess. 

Lily: IN. THE FUCKING. BALLS. BITCH.

Val: TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!

Brid: “I run out.”

Lily: YEAH RUN BITCH RUN

Val: GET OUT THE WAY!

Lily: YEET OUTTA THERE SIS

Brid: “But something catches my ankle.”

Lily: AWWWWWW

Val: COME ON. FUCKING. YANDERE ASS. FUCKER

---------

Val: Aaaaand now we’re bound and gagged. 

Lily: This guy is the worst. I hate him. 

Brid: Seriously. 

Arthur: “If only things could go back to the way they were... ” he says, covered in blood, still trying to hide the belongings of the dead guy. “we would be so happy.”

Lily: Hate this guy. 

Arthur: “This man ruined everything.” OH MAN, I think he’s actually a yandere. Yeah, that makes him a yandere, right? Killing someone for his one true love? Or maybe he’s a good guy, who knows. Maybe. I don’t know. I think the creepy eyes aren’t, uh... helping his case.

Lily: Yeahhhh.... 

Arthur: “I’m sorry this all happened. It won’t happen again. Just please know that I’d do anything for you.”

Brid: THEN PERISH

Lily: OHHHHHH

Val: THEN PERISH YOU FUCKING CANNIBAL

Arthur: But he’s not even a cannibal... 

Lily: Close enough. 

Brid: “You’re not my boyfriend, you’re a thief!”

Arthur: “Does this mean... that the drug is no longer effective?” THAT SPRITE IS DOWNRIGHT TERRIFYING. OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS SMILE. I DO- I DO NOT LIKE THAT.

Brid: Yeah, that transition’s a bit scary, huh? 

Arthur: I’m going to have nightmares about that. 

Brid: You don’t have to look at his eyes. 

Lily: So he was drugging us. 

Brid: “In the depths of my memory, I see a man, not Takuya, embracing me tenderly. We went on dates and holidays together... but then I remember that he was the man whose face I saw in the wall.”

Arthur: Damn... That’s... evil. 

Brid: Fuck this guy. “You ruined my life!”

Arthur: “Don’t talk nonsense- it was him! You were happy with me. But he didn’t deserve you. You should be happy for everything I did for you.”

Brid: “You killed my boyfriend and drugged me to make me think I had amnesia!”

Arthur: “The drugs were useful. I cooked them into everything I made for you. It made you think you went to work and came back at night. It was impressive.”

Val: Man, I don’t think I’ve ever been on a drug trip this bad.

Arthur: “We can go back to the way things used to be.”

Brid: “Go fuck yourself, asshole!”

Val: THATS MAH GIRL! YEAH GET EM

Lily: FUCK YEAH! 

Arthur: “Stop talking to me like that. You were much more docile in bed... ”........ Oh my god. What the fuck. That’s so fucked up. 

Val: I want him dead. 

Brid: I’m gonna kill this guy. Seriously, what an asshole, right? 

Val: So let me get this straight. He killed our boyfriend, kidnapped us, drugged us so we thought we were going to work every day and coming home to him, lied to us about being in a relationship for five years and r*ped us while we were out cold. 

Lily: Yeah, guess so. What the fuck, man. 

Val: ... Fuck this guy.

Arthur: I... really want to see this guy get justice hammered. 

Brid: “You’re crazy!”

Arthur: “Yes, I’m crazy! Crazy about you! But don’t you remember? You said you loved me too.”

Brid: “I could never love someone like you!”

Arthur: “You lied to me! Don’t toy with my feelings! This has to stop. I’m going to make sure you stay with me forever!”

Val: He’s gonna kill us. 

Brid: *trying not to laugh* Ohhhh yeah. 

Arthur: “Why didn’t I think of this before! It’s so romantic. They say making love unites bodies but only for a moment... how would you like to be a part of me forever?!”

Lily: Is he gonna do that thing in Black Butler where he’s gonna sew our bodies together?!

Arthur: Oh, GROSS. 

Val: ... That... happened in Black Butler? 

Lily: Yeah, it was a major plot point and everything. Like, the main villain was like, hey, let’s sew Ciel’s parents’ bodies together. To make a perfect human being. Union of male and female, y’know?

Val: ... Wow. Maybe I should watch it. 

Brid: I like that one better than what actually happens here.

Val: Wait, what?

Arthur: “I mean... eating you.”

Val: WAIT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE CANNIBALISM?!

Brid: ...

Val: BRID?

Brid: ...

Val: BRID.

Arthur: “Don’t worry, you’ll be happy inside me! I’m happy just thinking about it!”

Val: GETTING CONFIRMATION HE’S A CANNIBAL IS SOMEHOW SO MUCH WORSE THAN JUST SPECULATING ABOUT IT

Brid: “Please don’t do this, I beg of you-”

Val: I HATE THIS BRID

Arthur: “Oh, right. I never made dessert.”

Val: “Bad end: Cannibal Love.” Yeah, okay. So, uh, what the fuck, Bridget? What in the goddamn fuck was this? He ate us! 

Brid: I just really wanted to see your reactions to the cannibalism. 

Lily: You’re a monster. I’m afraid. 

Arthur: I enjoyed it. Sort of. 

Brid: I know. It was just for the reactions. 

Arthur: I will have nightmares, Brid. I hope you know that.

Brid: Takuya the evil cannibal yandere rapist isn’t real and can’t hurt you. 

Arthur: Takuya be like... there. On the title screen. Smiling at us. Only it’s creepier now that we know he’s a yandere. 

Brid: There is a true ending. But, uh, if you don’t want to see it-

Val: How do you get it?

Brid: Hold on, let’s get some water, and then we’ll have to restart the whole game pretty much... 

---------

Brid: Hey everyone, Ace Hang’s back, with some more My Darling, we got some snacks and water, and we’re gonna try for the true ending this time. 

Arthur: I’m not ready. I’m not ready. 

Lily: It’s okay, man. You’ve done great so far. Just a little bit more. 

Val: Yeah. Do it for us. Who wants to kill this bitch.

Arthur: Yeah! Okay, so uh...

Brid: You’re offered one choice at the beginning of the game that’s like, “I love you!“ or “You doubt me?“. We chose “I love you” the first time. If you pick “You doubt me” you get the true ending. Kind of out of place, but hey. And for the other events in the game, like us finding the body in the bathroom, finding Takuya cutting up a dead body, and the big chase scene where we try to run away from the cannibal yandere, are all the same.

Val: Unfortunately.

Brid: Yeah... Anyway, let’s get back into the action. He’s got us tied up on the couch right now.

Arthur: “I asked you if you loved me, and you never gave an answer. I want one now.“

Lily: Kind of a weird spot, yeah.

Arthur: “Despite everything, do you love me?“

Lily: NO

Val: FUCK NO

Brid: ABSOLUTELY NOT

Arthur: YOU HAVE MADE SOME VERY QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS MY GUY

Brid: “I don’t love you. I love the man you killed.”

Arthur: “Shut up about him!“

Brid: He threatens me with his knife.

Arthur: “I stabbed him a hundred times!“

Val: No ya didn’t, ya fuckin’ liar. You stabbed him 99 times. Bitch.

Lily: *dying of laughter*

Brid: “He’s leaning near my face while shouting. I kick him.“

Lily: YEAH GIRL!! WHOOO GET EM

Val: FUCK HIM UP! FUCK HIM UP!

Brid: “I catch the knife in between my fingertips and cut my ties.“

Val: Wait, what?

Val: Wait, wait, hold up. If you caught a butcher knife with your hands, you’d be-

Lily: Listen, if your wrists are bound like this,*holds up hands with wrists together* you could potentially rotate your wrists enough to- see, like that.

Val: No, no. That wouldn’t work. See, your hands would be so tightly bound that-

Brid: What are you guys talking about?

Val: If your hands were bound, could you use a knife to cut your ties?

Brid: BDSM fanfics wouldn’t tell me that one.

Lily: You read BDSM fic?

Brid: You don’t need to know that.

Arthur: What if she cut her legs first, pressed the knife up between her legs, and cut her arms like that?

Val: Great idea, but unrealistic. See, your sneakers aren’t exactly- and especially your bare feet won’t-

Brid: It just happens, okay. Come on, get back to the game. “I see him standing up, quickly grab the keys, and run away.“

Lily: Jesus, how hard did she brain him? If I brained an attacker, I literally would not be able to escape like that.

Val: He fucking deserved it. That’s why.

Arthur: He deserved every ounce.

Brid: “I run out of the house, my breath shaky. I stumble around, scared. There is no one around. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder-“

Val: STAB HIM

Lily: SHANK THAT HOE

Val: SHANK HIM

Arthur: IT’S PROBABLY JUSTIFIABLE SELF DEFENSE

Brid: “It’s a neighbor and her big dog.“

Lily: Oh thank God. I mean, dog. Oh thank dog.

Arthur: Doggo.

Lily: Okay, so is my zombie apocalypse theory true?

Val: Who has a dog in the apocalypse?!

Lily: “Hey, I was worried about you! Did you move? I saw a stranger enter and leave your house a few times.“

Val: A few times?

Arthur: So basically, he’s only been keeping up the delusion for a few weeks at most.

Val: Why do you say?

Arthur: Groceries. Assuming he had enough money.

Val: ?

Arthur: Beef goes bad in four days usually.

Val: Oh.

Arthur: Potatoes last forever though. And several times means he’s not been there for more than, like, a year.

Val: Oh, well that’s good, at least.

Arthur: I mean, it’s still bad.

Val: Yeah, but like, it’s good that it wasn’t for five years.

Lily: Yeah.

Brid: “Quick, we need to get out of here! He’s coming!“

Lily: “Who’s coming?“

Brid: “The dog starts growling. In the distance a shadow detaches itself from the wall. I recognize him. He’s coming towards us.”

Lily: “What the hell does he want?!“

Brid: “I can’t move. Takuya approaches us with a threatening look.“

Lily: “Stay away or I’ll set my dog on you!“

Val: *ARF*

Arthur: “Bro, come here. We’re going home.“

Brid: “No way, you murderer!“

Lily: Bitch, I’m real close to setting my dog on you!

Val: *ARF ARF ARF*

Lily: How are you doing that?

Val: I’m a man of many talents.

Lily: Sure you weren’t a furry once?

Val: Shut up.

Arthur: “So you hate me? I thought I was doing the right thing... Why don’t you love me? Why can’t you see that I have so much to offer you?“

Lily: Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you kidnapped us and stabbed our boyfriend?!

Val: Mood.

Brid: “How could I love a person like you?!“

Arthur: “I wanted to build you a better life! I saw you crying on a bench once, and I wanted to save you. Every tear you shed stabbed my heart. Come home, and we’ll pick up the pieces together.“

Lily: If Takuya knew what sin was he wouldn’t care.

Brid: “We’re done here.“ “Police sirens ring out. Takuya looks frantically in their direction and then mine before taking off at top speed. The neighbor tries to restrain her dog-“

Val: *ARF*

Brid: “... from running after him. A police car enters the alleyway.“

(screen fades to white)

Arthur: ... Oh, is that it?

Brid: “A year later, I changed the course of my life. I moved away and began making new memories, but this experience will forever remain in the back of my mind. But I could never forget that man. He’s always there in my tainted memories. One day, I received a letter from an anonymous source:“

Brid: “I only ask that you forgive me.“

Val: ...

Arthur: ...

Lily: ...

Brid: ...

Val: YOU CANNIBALIZED US IN THE OTHER ENDING YOU ABSOLUTE FUCK. YOU YANDERE FUCK.

Lily: Is he out of prison?! How’d we get the note?! What the fuck?! What the Cinnamon Toast fuck is going on here?!

Arthur: Why. Would. Anyone. Forgive you?! What, do you want a sequel where you kidnap her a second time?!