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vintage-story-time · 4 years ago

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Family Games by Ray Todd

Chapter 6

Glynn wasn't used to whiskey. He'd only had three beers in his life, and the

drink he'd taken with his sister was a fire in his belly. He wanted another one,

but didn't dare swallow it because he might get too smashed to go upstairs. And

Lorena hadn't been putting him on when she said she'd never screw him again, if

he didn't help her with the plan.

He couldn't hack that, couldn't go back to jacking off, after he'd fucked his

sister and her friend a couple of times each. And the blow job that Lorena had

given him last night -- that had almost melted his backbone. It was everything

he had ever dreamed of, and now he was anxious to taste her little pussy.

He looked up the stairs. It was quiet up there, and his sister had been out of

the shower for a long time. For a second, he thought she might have given up on

the whole thing and gone to bed by herself. Then he knew better; Lorena was

pretty stubborn, and when she set her pretty head to something, she carried it

through.

That meant he had to go try out his part. There was no noise up there, nobody

yelling, although once he thought he had heard low voices murmuring. So his

sister must have gotten away with her imitation of their mother; Lorena must

have already fucked the old man.

Oh wow, he thought, reaching down to touch the ultra-hard prick that was

threatening to split itself in his jeans. Lorena and dad; his sister all naked

and hot, taking his dad's cock into her wiggling pussy -- the image made him

squirm. He'd like to see that.

Glynn climbed the stairs, his hard cock bulging, his hands shaking a little when

he reached the second floor. He went into the bathroom he shared with Lorena,

peeled out of his clothes and took a shower. The hot water and soap made his

shaft ache even more, and he climbed out of the enclosure to dry himself off.

Putting on his beatup old terrycloth robe, he walked barefoot down the hall and

paused at the door to his father's room.

Pressing his ear to the panel, he could barely make out the whispering inside,

and drew back quickly. Lorena had scored, that was certain; she was talking with

the old man now, and nobody was raising hell. That left the next move up to him,

so he went on to his mother's bedroom and quietly opened the door.

The bedside radio was playing softly, and its dial light was the only light in

the room. Stepping inside, he closed the door behind him and saw the shape of

her body. She was lying on top of the covers, stark naked from head to toe.

Taking a deep and steadying breath, he shed the robe and moved carefully toward

the bed, his heart pounding.

All these years, he thought -- ever since he was big enough to know what to do

with his cock, he had had a thing for his mom. She was so damned beautiful, so

sexy, and there was a special bitchy look around her eyes that made a guy think

she would really go wild when a piece of meat was put to her box.

Glynn had started peeping early, looking to catch a glimpse of his mother's big,

glorious tits, trying to see up her dress. He had hoped to catch her naked in

the bathroom some day, but she always locked the door.

And a couple of times, he had heard them screwing, his mom and dad, heard the

squishy noises of a man's prick moving in a woman's hot, juicy pussy, heard the

moaning his mom made and the panting of his old man as they fucked. Both times,

he had rushed into the bathroom and closed his eyes, trying to picture the

scene, while he beat his meat and pretended that it was him in there between his

mother's surging white thighs.

Now he was standing over the bed where his mom was asleep, smashed on whiskey.

He was staring down at the delectable body spread so innocently and unknowing

for his eyes, and Glynn wished that the light was better, that he could see

every gorgeous detail of that magic flesh.

She had one knee lifted as she lay on her back and the dim light played over the

heavy cones of her tits, but when he looked on down the sweep of the magnificent

body, he couldn't make out her pussy, only the general shape of the dark mound

hidden in shadows. But he could stare to his heart's content at the beauty of

her legs, so long and molded; he could gaze hungrily at the melons of her firm,

tip-tilted breasts, and he drank in the sights.

Glynn thought of how many times his old man must have seen her like this, of how

many times -- thousands, maybe -- that his father had crawled over on top of

that beautiful body and fitted himself between those soft pale thighs. Glynn's

prick pulsed, and he soothed it with his hand, gripped it as he began to move

like a robot to the bed where the most unreachable, the most forbidden, object

of all his sexual fantasies lay.

Cautiously, he eased his weight upon the bed and lay down on his side, his

breath hanging in his tight throat and blood drumbeating in his ears. He

listened to her breathing, and now that he was near, could see the smudge of her

black lashes lying against her cheeks. She was so lovely, so desirable, that the

closeness of her was like a sharp knife in his guts.

He was going to fuck her. A jolt of knowledge jumped inside his head as he knew

that, for the first time, really knew it. He was at last going to fuck his

mother. The impending divorce, the plan he and his sister had to stop it, even

the screwing he had shared with Lorena and Jean -- all paled beside the fact

that he was about to put his meat into his mom's precious cunt.

No matter what the hell happened, no matter if the whole world blew up in

Glynn's face, he was now determined to fuck that dream pussy, if he died for it

afterward. She might wake up and scream, but he would cover her mouth; she might

kick, but he would force his way in between her flashing legs. He was too close

now, and the greatest prize of all was within his reach.

Reaching out one uncertain hand, he put it softly upon her tit. She stirred, but

the rhythm of her breathing didn't break, so he cupped the wondrous mound gently

and rolled the long nipple between his thumb and forefinger. She felt spongy and

firm, felt fabulous and wild, and he pressed down, knowing the give of the

breast, allowing it to spring back so that the nipple hit his palm.

Sliding over, Glynn lowered his mouth to the nipple, and licked over it. It

tasted like honey, like love, tasted like all the dreams that had ever raced

around inside his head. Drawing the resilient nub into his teeth, he chewed

delicately upon it, then sucked it hungrily. His mom didn't move, deep in her

alcohol-ridden sleep, so he opened his mouth as wide as he could, and tried to

take the entire sweet tit into it.

His hands strayed down, sliding tenderly over her rib cage, down to the satiny

planes of her stomach, and parted to caress the padded shapings of her

hip-bones. Only then, with the flavor of her breast perfumed in his mouth, only

then did he dare to move one hand on down to the taboo place, to her pubic

mound.

It was rich and warm beneath his fingertips, the black hair piled kind of crisp

and crinkly against his palm. There seemed to be a special kind of life in it,

and Glynn shuddered as he fondled the thick, furry bush. One finger eased into

the clinging excitement of the pubic hair and discovered the smoothness of her

pussy lips.

Lingering there, Glynn stroked the velvet soft lips, ran his finger slowly up

and down them, trying to imprint the shape and feel of them forever upon his

feverish brain. His mom's cunt; his lovely mom's pussy, his daddy had pumped the

meat into it, and now he was caressing the fantastic snatch himself. He was

feeling up his mother's pussy, and it felt like satin, silk, all downy and

cottony, all hot and tickly.

Glynn nudged his cockhead over so that it touched her thigh, and another flash

of erotic pleasure shot through him at the contact. She was so warm, so ripely

shaped, and he moved his prick up and down the full perfection of her thigh,

from hip to the knee. His finger hesitated against her labia, then began, of its

own accord, to work gently inside.

The tip was in her, in his mother's cunt lips, and the heat it found there was

succulent, an alluring inner warmth that moved right up his wrist, on up his

arm. His mouth was dry now, and he took it from the opulence of her tit,

breathing harshly, his brain whirling with keen excitement. His finger probed

deeper, moved on up into the wetly clinging grip of the pussy itself, until it

was buried to the knuckle.

For awhile, Glynn just lay there with his rigid prick thumping against the

velvet flesh, holding his finger full length inside the most fascinating cunt he

had ever thought about. She felt impossibly soft and rich inside, hot and

slippery with a special lavishness that shook him to the core.

He couldn't wait any longer, or his throbbing cock would spurt semen over her

thigh; his balls ached with the pressure that had built up within them, and he

was wildly turned on by the thought that very soon, he would let go his load

deep within the treasured confines of his mom's pussy.

Removing his finger from the gripping of the enfolding tissues there, he stroked

the abundantly haired pussy again, before lifting to his knees and crawling

around to poise himself between her outflung legs. Glynn couldn't resist running

both hands over those enticing legs, so that his palms and fingers would forever

remember them. They were so long, sleek and lovely and slim. Smooth and

graceful, they were the sculptured gateway to his personal paradise; he moved on

his knees between them, using his hands to spread them even more, to open the

hairy target of her crotch to him.

Bending, he caught the rise of a fragrance from her cunt, a spicy, musky,

stimulating perfume that was his mother's womanly essence. She moved then,

mumbled unintelligible words in her sleep, and crossed one arm over her eyes.

Transfixed, he crouched without motion for what seemed forever, until the

urgency in his balls pushed him on.

Glynn was beyond stopping now. If she came to and screamed, he meant to fuck her

anyhow, even if he had to fight her off the bed and down onto the carpet.

Trembling, he used one hand to steer the flexing head of his prick into the

shadowy bush of her mound, and when the tip of it pressed into the crinkly

hairs, fought down the need to let it go all over her pussy.

But it was hotter inside, unbelievably rich inside, and he had to get there.

Slow and easy, Glynn hunched his belly forward, and helped his prick with his

hand. It shoved into the slick lips, slid thrillingly into them as they

stretched to admit his cockhead. Not slow now, but driven by his inflamed

passions, Glynn gave a jab that sank his prick into his mom's cunt.

All the way inside that enchanted pussy, it went, into that sizzling hot snatch

that his daddy had fucked so many times and that was now, at last, his.

He shuddered as it went home, as his iron-hard prick slid greasily to its entire

length inside her vagina and his balls came to rest in the fluffy crack of her

shapely ass. Glynn had his meat packed in her cunt now, had it stuffed all the

way up her, and the sensation was fantastic. He stroked her, lifted his ass to

make his pulsing cock slide back to the head, then pushed it in once more,

grunting with pure joy.

She wiggled slightly on the first thrust, and swung her pelvis more on the

second one. Glynn reached both hands down under the smooth cheeks of her ass and

held on as he worked his aching prick in and out of the wet gloving of her

marvelous pussy. Her vagina grasped his shaft, caressed it with velvet

bubblings, with hotly soaped strength, and he lay down on top of her then,

blinded to any danger, needing only to fuck and fuck this most erotic of all

cunts.

Her arms lifted around him, and she hiked her crotch to take him deeper, a soft

moan escaping the lips now placed at his ear, her warm breath tingling. "Oh

darling -- it's been so long -- oh, how lovely. Your prick is so hard -- "

The words centered in his lunging prick, turned him on even more, and Glynn

began to hammer his cock into her pussy, to force it strongly with every

powerful stroke. The bed shook and they rocked together, glued at the crotch.

His balls slapped damply and softly at her ass, and now his mother's long,

fabulous legs raised to wrap around him, crossing themselves at the ankles.

"Fuck me, darling. Fuck me hard and deep -- yes, like that! Feed that cock into

me, darling. Oh! Lovely, lovely -- "

Blindly, his mouth sought for hers and found it. His tongue pushed between her

open lips and discovered the wet squirming of her tongue. She sucked on his,

pulled it toward her throat, and her teeth clashed along his as she groaned in

rapture.

Then suddenly, her body stopped its whiplash movements; her ass ceased to heave

up and down, and her beautiful legs dropped away from his body. Glynn could feel

the shock that rippled through her, feel the stiffening of her pussy around his

stroking prick. She pushed both hands against his chest and gasped.

"N-no! You -- you're not Eric, not my husband! Why -- what -- "

Glynn let go of her ass and reached up, just in time to catch her wrists as she

tried to claw his face. "Easy -- take it easy, mom!"

Her hiss was pure outrage: "No! You -- you! Glynn, you c-can't, we mustn't -- oh

please, please let me go!"

Pinning her arms above her head, he forced his prick solidly within her wet

pussy, held it there while she wiggled and tried frantically to work it out of

her body. But he had it socked to her, and as long as he was firmly between her

legs, she couldn't get free.

She kept struggling, her tits bouncing against his chest, her pelvis surging in

movements that were about to make him come. He whispered harshly at her: "Stop

fighting! I have my prick in you, mom. I've been fucking you, and you dug it.

I'm going to finish screwing you, and if you keep yelling, you'll wake up dad

and sis."

The last thought was a good one, because she fell limp beneath him, only tugging

weakly at her arms. "Don't, Glynn -- oh please don't. You're drunk or something,

and don't know what you're doing."

He jammed his prick hard against her womb and gyrated his ass to move the

cockhead around, feeling very strong and conquering. "I know what I'm doing --

what I've always dreamed of doing. I'm fucking you, mom. I have my prick shoved

deep inside your beautiful hot pussy, and pretty soon, I'm going to come in it.

I love you, mom -- I love your cunt so much that it's been driving me crazy. Now

it last I'm fucking you, and I won't stop for anything."

She lay still, but he thought his cockhead sensed a tremble in her vagina]

walls, and his prick responded to it. He said softly, "It's happening, mom, and

nobody can stop it. Please fuck me back; please come with me."

She made a strangled noise, and words came tumbling out: "I -- I can't, but --

its been so long, and I'm a passionate woman. Oh please -- oh my sweet boy, why

me? H-how could you -- oh, Glynn!"

Her pelvis lurched against his, and he let go her wrists so that she could hold

him in her rounded arms, so that her big, soft tits could flatten themselves

against his heaving chest. The nipples were hard, boring into his flesh, and

Glynn's heart leaped with bliss. His mother was laying her pussy up to him! She

was fucking him back, trying to come with him, this first magic, crazy time they

were screwing.

Those terrific legs webbed him in again, and she rolled up on her shoulders to

open her cunt wider for his now feverish strokes. He fed her the hard meat,

socked it deep and pulled it out, only to shove it balls-deep again.

"I'm, t-trying to hold back, mom," he panted, his hands taking another

delightful grip upon the hot cheeks of her bouncing ass. "But I need you so

much, I -- I can't. I'm going to come. I'm coming!"

His prick swelled, and the flexing head suddenly poured forth a hot, hissing

stream of semen. Glynn shot off inside his mother's softly receiving pussy,

pumped his come in quick, spitting jets so that it splashed against her cervix

and inundated the quivering walls of her vagina. Again and again, globs of his

semen fountained into that, hot, trembling cunt, and he ground his balls

lovingly into the cleft between her cheeks, reveling in the farout sensation.

She gave a tiny shriek. "Oh! You're coming in me, dear -- you're flooding your

mother's pussy with your littleboy come, and I love it, love it! Keep fucking

me, darling -- oh keep fucking me!"

He laid the meat into her steadily, still hard as a rock, still eager as ever to

screw this exquisite cunt, and his prick made sloshing noises as it worked back

and forth in the hot bubbling lubrication of his own semen. She rolled her ass

and scraped his back with her fingernails, clamping her long legs around his

waist and trying to lift him off the bed. Her crotch pounded up into his, and

her pussy seemed to wiggle violently over his moving cock, seemed to clench down

upon the head of it as it reached home time after time.

Glynn was delirious; he and his mother were fucking, fucking, and she was

digging his prick as much as she loved his dad's. She was screwing him hard and

wild, sledging her belly up to his and dropping it back, twisting her greasy hot

pussy all over his rod.

"S-sweet boy -- darling boy! Your cock isn't as big as your daddy's thing, but

it's so hard, so hard and so young! Ooohh, how I love it, love to feel it this

far up my pussy -- oh, Glynn, my baby, my darling, your mother would like to eat

you up. Ah! Ah, that's good, so good! More and more of this lovely young prick,

and -- and -- oh yes, I'm coming, coming, coming!"

He felt the vibration of her cunt, the frantic gulping as his mother came, as

his lovely, hot mom came on his prick. It was too much for Glynn, and he let go

with yet another load of semen that had built up hurriedly within his balls. Not

as strong, not as copious, there was still a gush of come that added to the

fiery liquids already there.

Sagging, he collapsed on top of her, the strength draining from him, but

reluctant to have his cock leave the beautiful intimacy of his mom's spasming

pussy. She cradled him with her legs, hugged him close and stroked his hair,

crooning words of love in his ear, licking the tip of her tongue into his ear

every so often.

"My baby," she murmured. "My sweet child. You've turned into a young man, a

horny young man who had the nerve to sneak in here and practically rape his own

mother while she was sleeping off all the liquor she drank tonight. And I'm very

glad you did, dear. I suppose I've been sublimating my own incestuous desires

for ages, and I'm so happy it finally happened to us."

"I love you, mom," he whispered, stroking her fabulous body, holding his slowly

melting prick within her cunt while the mingled juices of their bodies leaked

out and puddled in the feathery cleft of her ass.

"And I love you, dear," she said, running a soft hand down between their bodies

so she could cup his flaccid balls. "How did you ever gather the courage to do

it?"

He was on the verge of telling her about the plan, balanced for a ragged moment

upon the edge of exposing the fact that her husband and her daughter were at

this very second down the hall in probably the same general position. But Glynn

held back in time, and didn't say that his dad and sister were fucking now, too,

that incest in this family had suddenly become a game for four players.

Were they as happy as he and his mother? He supposed so, knowing Lorena well

now, knowing the strong lusts that moved within his sister's young cunt. He

stirred his softening cock into his mom's pussy, and she squeezed his balls

lightly.

"It was so wonderful," she said. "I haven't screwed anyone for too long. Your

father and I once had a good thing going, but it disappeared somewhere along the

line. I've been so lonely, so damned frustrated. But now, darling -- oh, now I

have you."

He felt his prick slide limply from the pussy he adored, and she helped him lift

himself from her hot body. He lay beside his freshly fucked mother, sated for

the moment and content, proud that he'd really gotten into her, that he had let

two big loads of come off into her beautiful cunt. He had made her come, too;

she loved his prick.

Glynn said, "Has dad got a bigger cock than me?"

She came up on one elbow and kissed him, her big tit brushing warmly against the

side of his face.

"Yes, your father has a tremendous penis, but that doesn't mean I can't get just

as much, or more, pleasure from your sweet thing, darling. In fact, you excited

me more than I think I've ever been, in all my life. Maybe it was the idea of

being screwed by my own handsome son, of having my own child's prick in me, but

whatever the cause, you were a marvelous lover. Imagine -- coming twice, in such

a short time."

He said, "I want to fuck you forever. I always wanted to, ever since I got big

enough. I used to hear you and dad making it in here, and it drove me right up

the wall. I used to go into the bathroom and jerk off while I pretended it was

me between your beautiful legs. I guess I was jealous of dad."

She kissed him again, and ran her tongue warmly into his lips. "Well, you don't

have to be jealous any more. You can do it to me all the time, in oh so many

ways. There are so many things I want to do to you, do with you. But we'll have

to be very careful, dear. What with the divorce so close now, if your father had

even the slightest suspicion that there could be anything sexual between his

wife and his son -- "

He didn't want to hear anything about divorce, and said, "We can be careful,

since you and dad don't sleep together any more. Oh mom, I -- I never went down

on anyone, but I really want to do that to you. I want to taste your lovely

pussy, but you'll have to show me how. I don't know anything about that, only

what I've seen in pictures."

"How wonderful," she sighed. "Your father has always been just a little stuffy

about oral sex. He did it to me a few times when we were first married, but I

always had the feeling that he didn't really like it. Yes, dear, I'll teach you.

We'll make all kinds of exquisite love together, my handsome, stiff-dicked son

and me."

He turned his head and kissed the nipple of her tit. She lifted the big mound

with one hand and fed it to him, rubbing it into his mouth and across his teeth.

Glynn worshipped it with his tongue, licking first the nipple, then all around

the spongy melon of his mother's breast, thinking of sliding his cock between

those big tits, of titty-fucking her as he had done the night before to his

sister. Would his mom react the same way, and lap the sliding head of his prick?

Both of them froze in place; they could hear the sound of a shower going in the

bathroom that divided this bedroom from the one Eric Johansen slept in. Glynn's

half-hard cock dropped again, even though he had a pretty good idea that his

father wouldn't be coming in here; not with Lorena in his bed. But what was the

old man doing, taking a bath at this time of night?

Probably making himself tidy for another round of screwing with Lorena, Glynn

thought. But whatever the cause, it scared hell out of his mother. She pulled

away from him and whispered, "You'd better go, dear. Tomorrow we can be together

again, just as soon as possible, I promise. I'm not about to let my young lover

go, now that we've discovered each other."

He slid out of bed, peeped into the hall, and split for his own room.

#Family Games by Ray Todd #Chapter 6

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awpcomics · 4 years ago

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Small press Shack stock update 1

I'm opening up an online store soon and here's a look at the current stock of titles available. if interested in any of the books let me know. shipping costs vary.

Small Press Shack comic stock listing (by Company)

36k studios

Tru vibes

# 1 $5

# 2 $5

2000 A.D.

Scarlet Traces

vol. 1 $25

vol. 2 $25

Aam/Markosia

N-Guard # 1 $5

Ablaze

Unsacred

# 7 $5

Unsacred TPB 1 $25

Unsacred vol. 2

# 1 $5

Abstract Studio

Motor Girl # 1 $10

Rachel Rising

# 13 $4

# 14 $4

#15 $4

#16 $4

#17 $4

#18 $4

# 19 $4

# 20 $4

# 21 $4

#22 $4

# 23 $4

#24 $4

# 25 $4

#26 $4

# 27 $4

#28 $4

# 29 $4

#30 $4

# 31 $4

#32 $4

# 33 $4

#34 $4

# 35 $4

#36 $4

# 37 $4

#38 $4

# 39 $4

#40 $4

# 41 $4

#42 $4

Academy Comics

Robotech 2 The sentinels

book 4

# 13 $5

Action Lab

Adventure Finders vol. 2 #1 $5

Princeless

TPB 1 (small ) $80

part 2

# 1 $5

# 2 $5

#3 $5

part 3

# 1 $5

# 2 $5

# 3 $5

#4 $5

TPB $15

part 4

# 1 $5

#2 $5

#3 $5

#4 $5

TPB $15

part 5

#0 $5

#1 $5

#2 $5

#3 $5

TPB $15

part 6

TPB $15

part 7

# 1 $5

# 2 $5

# 3 $5

# 4 $5

# 5 $5

TPB $15

part 8

#1 $5

#2 $5

#3 $5

#4 $5

TPB $15

part 9

TPB $15

Raven : The Pirate Princess

# 1 $5

#2 $5

#3 $5

#4 $5

#5 $5

#6 $5

#7 $5

#8 $5

#9 $5

#11 $5

Action Lab- Danger Zone

Vampblade vol. 3 # 11 $5

ALC Publishing

Works vol. 1 $10

Alpha-Wave Productions

Ben Dunn Shorts

vol. 1 $20

Vol. 2 $40

Derp Dragons

vol. 1 $20

vol. 2 $20

Jenna & Ninja High School TPB $15

Mighty Tiny: Lost Tails TPB $15

Ninja High School: Ultimate Perfect Memory $15

Ninja High School : Salusian Chess TPB $15

Quagmire U.S.A. TPB $20

Silver Cross TPB $15

Small Bodied Ninja High School TPB $30

Swimmer

vol. 1 $15

vol. 2 $15

vol. 3 $15

Tales From Quagmire U.S.A. TPB $20

Tiger-X TPB $20

Zetraman TPB $25

A.M. Works

Athena

# 1 $4

# 3 $4

#5 $5

#8 $5

Antarctic Press

Gold Digger

Gold Digger # 1 (35th anniversary special ) $15

collected gold digger vol. 3 $5

collected gold digger vol.4 $5

collected gold digger vol.6 $5

collected gold digger vol.8 $5

vol. 3 (color series)

# 3 $10

#4 $10

#13 $4

#14 $4

#15 $4

#17 $4

#43 $4

#56 $4

#60 $4

#62 $5

Gold Diger Gold brick # 6 (#'s 76-100) $50

#98 $2

#100 $5

#101 $2(fcbd ed)

#103 $5

#200 $5

#202 $5

#211 $5

#213 $5

#214 $5

#215 $5

#216 $5

#222 $2

#236 $5

#245 $5

#256 $5

#261 $2

#262 $5

#268 $5

#269 $5

#271 $5

#272 $5

#273 $5

#274 $5

#275 $5

#276 $5

#277 $5

GD – 18

# 1 $5

Gold Digger Perfect Memory

# 2 $10

Gold Digger Annual

#5 $4

#10 $4

#15 $5

#16 $5

#20 $5

Peebo Tales

# 2 $4

# 3 $4

#4 $4

Tangent

# 2 $4

Halloween

# 2 $4

#9 $4

Holidays Special

Universe

# 19 $4

X-Mas Special

# 2 $4

#3 $4

#6 $4

#7 $4

#11 $5

#12 $5

Ninja High School

# 3 1/2 $4

#35 $8

#36 $25

#37 $50 (first warrior nun)

#39 $5

#40 $5

#41 $4

#42 $4

#44 $4

#46 $4

#47 $4

#48 $4

#50 $10

#66 $4

#68 $4

#71 $4

#75 $4

#76 $4

#77 $4

#78 $4

#79 $4

#80 $4

#83 $4

#89 $4

#90 $10

#91 $4

#94 $4

#95 $4

#96 $4

#97 $4

#98 $4

#99 $4

#102 $4

#104 $4

#130 $4

#149 $4

#177 (clr) $5

#177 (B&W) $3

#178 $5

Furry NHS

# 1 $50

# 2 $25

Ninjas vs Aliens

# 2 $5

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theangrypokemaniac · 4 years ago

Text

Shunned by all decent, God-fearing folk for centuries, Alola's isolation has fueled an unnatural way of looking at the world.

Rattatas were such a problem they imported Yungoos and Gumshoos from another region to control numbers.

Then why are they classed as Alola Pokémon?

Once purple, the climate has inexplicably transformed 'Retarda' into a black rat, which:

A. Eat their own babies.

B. Carry bubonic plague.

If that's not a winning combination, this beast now comes replete with the comedy villain moustache of a wartime spiv offering nylons to flustered housewives, and a side order of bovril if she's optional.

I presume facial hair on a furry scamp is what I see, not another set of polyps tearing through his face, having blocked the nasal cavity.

Raticate wasn't the prettiest of creatures, yet Alola's offering exceeds that low bar considerably.

Countless surveys attest to the dramatic boost in popularity the rodent community receives when stuffed so full they're ready to throw up.

Hey, don't knock it. Raticate are very picky in their eating habits.

It's a rat. They live in sewers. It gnaws every surface available.

Now yer telling me they're effete and squeamish?

Yes. In fact, such is their famed fastidiousness an infestation is a welcome development for restaurants.

...

Yer what?

It's true. Count yerself lucky to find a kitchen swarming with rodents. You certainly are in for a taste sensation.

Indeed. I am reminded of an early Pokédex entry on Raticate, describing its 'disgusting feet'.

Fancy them stinking tootsies treading through the crème brûlée?

And I thought they were vermin to be eaten by mongooses (mongeese?), but now caterers crave their company?

Make yer mind up!

Animals dwelling in human excrement, never mind their own, add such flavour to a meal.

Should I object to the presence of canonically dirty Pokémon in a food preparation area, I'd be the weirdo.

What a comfort that is to know.

This insalubrious patronage gets yer shut down elsewhere, but Alola's standards of hygiene are low, so low they rebranded plague rats a positive rather than bothering to dust once in a while.

If Marsh Mallow really desires a Michelin Man star for the caff she'd best designate the cleaning to her lazy-arsed dad. Then it won't be done.

Come on, he's a waster if ever there was one. He's so thick a gorilla taught him to cook, being part ape himself.

Invert the middle letter of 'Abe', and what d'yer get?

Leave Monkey Man to his own devices and the whole place will descend into a prize-winning shit-tip in no time.

That's where yer going wrong, love! There's not enough botulism at your gaff!

All I can express is relief there aren't cockroach Pokémon. Can you envision the threat to public health were they to be encouraged?

...

I'll have you know Pheromosa is very wary of germs.

You keep lying to yerself if it helps.

Yeah, because Alola cockroaches are special, so much more sophisticated than anyone else's.

So much more sexy than cockroaches in lesser parts of the world.

Yeah, it's come to that.

Biohazards Grimer and Muk are a most unsettling presence.

A supposed island paradise of endless fruit groves, clean streams and forests, should not feature sentient gunge.

Besides the technicolour nightmare, the heat has produced an unfortunate sticky side to their gooey nastiness.

Reminiscent of slugs, various detritus adheres to their bodies, to the extent cat litter lodges in their empty gums like soiled teef.

What a lot of mess there is about the streets, much more than anywhere else. Seems the populace are content to reside in their own filth.

Not true. Grimer and Muk were brought in to deal with a mountain of rubbish.

Oh? It was as I said then.

The picture painted brings to mind the wasteland of Parallel Alola, without having Guzzlord to blame.

This teaches us three things about the locals:

1. Litter doesn't chuck itself in the bushes.

For all the yawnsome preaching about living in harmony with the environment, there's a rampant lack of respect for Mother Nature.

Don't come here moralising! Yer've been fly-tipping!

2. They feed trash, dyed with luminous toxic chemicals, to Pokémon.

Pancakes is just a ruse!

Damage to D.N.A. is now obvious, given the paranoid stare in those haunted eyes.

It's not enough to use living things as bins, they're infecting 'em too!

Sod what long-term effects this may have on life expectancy, Alolans demand their rights.

These privileges being to desecrate the landscape with abandon, and someone else can clear it up.

Look at 'em! I bet they glow in the dark!

3. Incest has a shockingly deleterious effect on the mental faculties.

Can't we just burn it?

NO! The polar bears are drowning! Avoid that at all costs!

Chuck it in the sea like the recycling plants?

NO! Turtles eat shopping bags! We want an eco-friendly solution.

How about nuclear waste?

That's the ticket!

Why sweep the roads yerself when rancid slime can be shipped in as slaves?

That's Grimer, such a pollutant no life can exist in its wake, and Muk, who spreads disease?

Yes, and then we'll let it loose to multiply.

What could go wrong here?

#pokémon #alola #rattata #raticate #grimer #muk #pheromosa #abe #gifs

6 notes · View notes

loplainlointhemorning · 6 years ago

Text

@peptalkz tagged me for this and I’m out of shit to do and ready to talk abt myself so thank u ❤️

rules- answer 21 questions and then tag 21 ppl you want to get to know better

1. nicknames: Liv, Bitch, honeymoon, negative image Brian Molko

2. zodiac sign: Cancer

3. Height: 5’6”

4. Last movie I saw: The Doors, but really it was Dogfight, which I LOVED

5. Last thing I Googled: Furry Sex Games

6. Favorite musician: I mean. Impossible to decide!!

7. Song stuck in my head: Silver Dagger- Joan Baez

8. Other blogs: @iknewishouldcreateasensation @everyonesintothisscene VG blogs PLEASE look at them they’re so so so much better than this one

9. Following: like 1,000??

10. Followers: bitch idk!! too fuckin many considering my personality

11. Do I get asks: YES and I LOVE THEM VERY MUCH

12. amount of sleep: hmmm like 8 hours. bad dreams n stress make it more or less

13. Lucky numbers: 4,6,8

14. What I’m wearing: funnily enough, no shirt, Tiny skirt. Don’t even have to fake a sexy answer with that one

15. Dream job: Happy person, that or reverently adored

16. dream trip: Hmmmm anywhere but here

17. Favorite food: Pickles

18. Instruments played: acoustic guitar

19. Languages: English

20. Favorite songs: One for each of my favorite bands, Come As You Are by Nirvana, Violet by Hole, Hey Bulldog by The Beatles, Open Up And Bleed by The Stooges, Fall In Love With Me by Iggy Pop, Queen Bitch by David Bowie, California Paradise by The Runaways, Lime Tree Arbour by The Bad Seeds, Yuri-G by PJ Harvey, I Hate Danger by Bikini Kill, Heroin by The Velvet Underground

21. Random fact: im very immediately attracted to tall people

22. aesthetic: if a Dorian-esque dandy tried to have opinions and hold discussions that weren’t about gay sex but everyone really knows that behind all the opinions ur just thinkin abt mmmmm gay shit oof

@wherearemyelephants @whatsername-a-killjoy @keyboardofrejection @orbeavariegata @bloodthirstypandasfromthesky @affectionateobject @retailgoth

#aberdeen spoken word #i ended up w 22 questions forgive me

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mxladymorgan · 6 years ago

Text

♡ @pilawforhire submitted; answer under the break

Time and again, it could be gratifying to revisit one’s childhood. Law was never much of a beach enthusiast though since he’d discovered all the curiosities he could pick up along the shore, he made the most of his time whenever he found himself at one, combing beaches, hunched over or hunkered down, preferably when there was less of a crowd around to spy on his behaviours, for what some might consider baubles but he considered treasures: intricate samples of driftwood, colourful frosted pieces of beach glass, an assortment of seashells, but mostly fascinating rocks, polished and smoothed out by nature.

When perhaps Morgan seemed to have either dozed off or was preoccupied with a book while getting a bit of sun, Law spent close to an hour wandering along the beach and the shallow waters, barefoot, the cuffs of his jeans rolled up to his knees, collecting anything that caught his eye and placing them in his hat that served as a makeshift bucket. Finally, Law strode back to Morgan. Forget the cliché of picking seashells, Law had stockpiled a variety of rocks, amidst several pieces of kelly green, brown, white, and clear sea glass added in for decorative purposes. Law sat down crosslegged beside Morgan and started to hand her the rocks, one by one, and with each one, he told her their names, doing a much better job introducing the rocks than he did when introducing the members of his crew.

First, there were a few basalt rocks, of a range of different shades of grey. “One of the more common rocks, some are from remnants of mountain peaks withered away. They’re ancient. This would be a vesicular basalt.” He placed a textured rock covered with deep pits (vesicles) on its surface into her palm. There was also the ophitic basalt, that looked decorated with painted snowflakes; the amygdaloidal basalt, its vesicles filled with minerals. Moving on from basalt rocks, there were septarian brown stones with cracked surfaces, looked a little like mushroom caps; a reddish brown fossiliferous limestone; a smooth white egg-shaped limestone; several granite stones of varying colours (salmon pink, milky white, red, grey, etc.) and patterns; and other sedimentary rocks. Simply put, there were enough rocks to start a beginner’s rock collection - not that he would have her do that, unless she was interested.

Lastly, he gave her a small handful of chalcedony, including pieces of agate and jasper, and the only shell he had collected, the Junonia, with its squarish brown dots.

“I could find more with time, but I think I’ll have a break now.” He didn’t mention if she was supposed to keep whatever he had left in her hands. He lay down beside her, and when he thought she wasn’t looking, he placed the molted shell of a sand crab onto her thigh and waited for her reaction. (Next time, next time or maybe later, he would find a live one.)

(Sorry. I just really wanted to say that Law gave Morgan some rocks and also of course a crab, though what a pity not one alive. Next time though.)

♡ It was a summer day in a summer island somewhere in Paradise, so of course the Heart Pirates had to call it a real summer day, which meant docking or mooring the Tang as the island made possible, exchange the white jumpsuits for colourful swimwear, grab a multitude of parasols, surfboards, balls and bags and hit the beach. Bepo, in particular, looked extremely cute in a pair of shorts where tiny boats rode tiny waves, a bucket with a small shovel, a trowel, cultivator, a couple of moulds and even a watering can in his paw. No doubt he’d make plenty of human kids jealous of his gear today.

They disembarked first, the crew, already in merrymaking mode, as someone’s yelling of “PARTAY!” illustrated. Behind them came Law and Morgan.

Morgan looked pretty in the swimsuit Law had given her in spite of her looking like the Polar Tang’s daughter of flesh and bone. It was that exact shade of yellow and sexy like the submarine, with that plunging neckline that framed her cleavage. Yes, this had been a bold purchase indeed, forward, yet Morgan would resent Law had he gifted her something a grandma would wear. She wore a sun hat and you just knew there were more contents in her bag than its size showed possible. There were many things a lady needed when holidaying.

He, on the other hand, could not look more out of place. As if beaching was unknown to his culture - Impossible! Certainly, all islands had beaches! - and this was his first day.

Law had exchanged his sweaters and hoodies for a white tee, so far so good, but that was where it stopped. On his legs, he wore not shorts but jeans. Morgan could not understand why - he was not above displaying his own couple of hairy legs and even pat the natural coat with smug pride should someone look at the limbs in horror. On his feet rested shoes. Not sandals but actual shoes.

Law carried only four items. One, his sword, as he would not leave it behind should the marines find the partying pirates and have a party of their own. Two, a beach towel, obviously yellow with black spots (seriously, what store supplied this man with stuff?). Three, a big parasol Morgan had not seen open yet, but which she guessed bore the HP’s jolly roger or the word ‘DEATH’, perhaps both; and four - his hat.

Yes, the furry one, you know the one. If the jeans were inappropriate, the hat was criminal. Yes, it would protect Law’s head of those perilous rays of sun but it would only create the bigger problem of making a greenhouse effect. It would be no surprise if Law’s head caught fire on its own. Perhaps there was a medical reason behind this choice of millinery, but Morgan doubted it.

The crew chose a spot and made camp but Law kept on walking. Morgan looked over her shoulder, did a double take and ultimately followed Law. Turned out he wanted an unclaimed place for himself, close enough to the crew to keep vigilant of them but far enough not to be too bothered by their antics. When he found it, he planted his parasol like a flag, which proved true when he opened it and the Heart Pirates’s smile greeted the sun in mockery. If there were any Government bird spies around, it was a matter of time before the day was ruined.

Ever the practical and silent kind, Law stretched his towel, sat his butt on it, removed his shoes, his shirt and stared ahead, cursing the sea for not letting him share in the fun of splashing around or blaming himself for coming along instead of staying back in the Tang, where it was fresh and cool and he could lock himself in the operating theatre to play the mad surgeon while everyone was out. That was his lady’s guess.

Morgan sensed his misery - and after all, Law was trying his lamest not to sport a bitch face - and smiled affectionately. First things first, she asked him if he could help her with the sunblock, which seemed to cheer him up a bit. Then, she spoiled him a bit with kisses, - no making out in public! - a backrub and wet cherries fed directly to his tongue.

Finally, once the job of having Law endure the beach in a happier mood was finished, Morgan grabbed the romance novel she was reading and opened it to pick up on the love of this William for this Penelope.

(…)

Something was wrong. Morgan could feel Law’s presence next to her no longer, which is to say things were very quiet, no attempts of disturbing her reading being made. As a fellow book lover, you’d expect Law to know better (behave better) than to disturb her reading, as Morgan got lost in the love entanglements of people who did not exist. Yet it was fun to tease her peace by drumming on her leg, doing loud popping sounds while sucking his fingers after eating a beach snack, munching an apple and ruminating on her ear as some kind of barn animal. Even more tempting an option when there was little to do and swimming was prohibited.

With such teasing interference being constant, Morgan found it odd that Law had gone static for the entirety of twenty pages, for that was the only way to mark the passing of time when reading, in the absence of a clock or watch. Twenty pages without a hand on her knee. Twenty whole pages without a snore, cough, fart exploding like a bomb in her hearing, not to mention, apropos, in her nostrils. Just twenty pages without a remark about another female beach-goer meant to get her nose out of the book - something like “That woman’s wearing the same swimsuit as you are” or a simpler “Holy fuck.”

(To Law’s credit, those did work best, Morgan’s eyes emerging from the sea of pages to check what woman was this that Law was making eyes at, a peek usually followed by the marching of not a sensual young woman but an overweight middle-aged man slurping an ice cream cone or a kid running in the nude. There was no such woman around. Morgan knew it every time Law uttered a lascivious “ooh” or “ahh”, and every time did she show her face, eyes screaming murder.

There actually was a woman one time, beautiful and willowy, with legs for days, blissfully flat-chested. There was nothing wrong with it, of course, and chances were the ballerina woman’s movements were more graceful than Morgan’s could ever be, given her superior proportions in the aforementioned area. Yet, Morgan doubted - perhaps in too egotistical a way - Law would exchange these for those when he quite enjoyed fondling them and doing other things too. Still, Morgan made a mute vow to punish him later for his boldness in playing a dangerous game, even going so far as to open and close her second and third digits as to resemble a pair of scissors in what couldn’t be a clearer message.)

At last, Morgan lifted her gaze from her book, called a soft “Law?” and saw only his spotted towel and lunch bag, previously brought by Jean Bart. (Kikoku rested under the towel, both ends conspicuously popping from under it to say ‘hi’, as the sword was humongous, but it was ok, it had a female guardian to keep it safe.)

Perhaps Law had eloped with a real summer bombshell he had not troubled Morgan with. No, that did not make any sense. It was not Law’s style to womanize and never would anyone describe the gloomy pirate captain as a “playboy”. He could not be far away…

Looking in the opposite direction, to the sand spot the Heart Pirates had claimed for themselves, she saw a lot of silliness going on - towering sand castles, sculpted boobs given to crewmen as they napped, squirt gun battles, nosebleeds - but of the Captain there was no sign.

Finally, Morgan looked ahead, certain she would not find his trademark hat surfacing the sea water as he tried swimming, for that he could not do. Found him she did, walking the surf with he furry hat filling his hands, every couple of steps stopping and offering whoever cared to see an unobstructed view of his sweet ass in jeans. What the hell was he up to now?

Morgan closed her book, slid it inside her summer bag and, lounging with her elbows supported on the compact sand, just watched him.

There was nothing reminiscent of a child about Law. He was a tall, athletic man with sideburns and a goatee. His personality was not bubbly. His smiles existed, indeed, but were almost never innocent - on occasion, he’d flash a genuine smile of affection at Bepo. At Morgan too.

But when she understood what he was doing, she couldn’t help but find him adorable. Precious. Wholesome. She sighed in infatuation. A couple of kids ran past Law, not without drawing circles around him first, before leaving with the same items Law was combing the shore for in their own bucket. Morgan assumed both buckets - the actual one and the hat - would be containing seashells and lost bits of coral, far from their home.

It might be nice, Morgan imagined, one day, for her to sit in the sand like she was doing now, and watch Law and this little boy who was the spitting image of him collecting shells and crabs together. The little boy would then run to her with both hands carrying the weight of the bucket by the handle’s middle, water overflowing, and excitedly he’d say “Mummy, look what we found!”

When Law came back with his shells not much later - as if he did it on purpose, to put an end to the lady’s familial fantasy - Morgan extended her hands to him, in the form of a ladle, so he could deposit in them the fruits of his labour.

But these were not shells! They were just… rocks. Morgan pouted. Rocks and shards of glass. Rocks aplenty, available in a great selection of colours, sizes and textures, get ‘em while they’re hot!

She was interested at first, and that was no joke. This maritime rubbish had to mean something for Law, or else why would he have spent so much time mooning whatever form of life watched him for the sake of picking something off the ground? That which was important to Law was important for Morgan as well.

And so she listened intently to his presentation for a while, wondering how he had become so versed in geology when his area was medicine. Nothing stopped an individual from excelling at two or three distinct areas, yet it was a curious range of subjects for him to know, wasn’t it? And it did not stop there. Morgan loved the sea. Law did too. But multiple things hinted at him having a fondness for sea life in a way she did not. His choice of piratical way of locomotion was the first. The living example that was Corazón Jr. also illustrated this theory (as a turtle, he was more spoiled than many a bow-wearing lap dog). He fished.

After a while, Morgan had stopped listening. She tried to imagine Law as a little boy… Perhaps, before finding his titillations in the medical field, he’d been one of those kids who loves animals and aquatic animals above all others. Every now and then escaping home for a plunge, to swim alongside turtles. To watch their eggs hatch and interfere with nature, sheltering the infants from predatorial birds as they crossed the sand to reach the sea… All pure imagination.

Eventually, the dreamy quality of Morgan’s face turned into a pout anew. God, Law was nerdy. Were it not for that aura of doom and morbid musk he exuded so well, so effortlessly, so sensually, Morgan might have imagined a teenage Law being teased by bullies who stole lunch money from them, the Laws of school life. Instead, Morgan felt the enormity of their age gap, the way its weight distanced them in spite of their physical proximity - it was like being married to an old schoolmaster who, now that he was retired, had plenty of time to dedicate to his geeky, boring pastimes of collecting rocks, bugs and coins.

Lo! See the way his stained hand holds the magnifying glass over a dead moth while his young and strapping wife beckons from the comforts of the marital bed for mature passion! “Come and ravish me, my love!” she cries. “A minute. Let me sort this antediluvian Alabastan money first.”

Tired, the brave hero plopped down for a much-deserved rest. Morgan was left with a bored mind and hands and lap full of trash the Sea God himself did not want to keep, so much he threw it out for idiots like Law to bring home and fanboy about.

“Law”! What am I supposed to do with this?” As he did not answer, offered no possibility, Morgan browsed her bag for the cosmetics pouch currently holding her sunblock and lip balm and shoved the rocks in. The glass Law could carry in his head, under his hat, if he fancied dead beer bottles from the major breweries of the Blues that much, thank you. Oh, it was beer glass alright.

With a clear view over herself, Morgan noticed the crab on her leg. No, not the crab - its shell. Was she supposed to scream in terror? A crab’s shell was not exactly a fat, crawly, many-legged bug. If anything, it was seafood - just ask any Shipwrecker.

The crab was returned to Law, lowered on his belly button. “Nice try.” Morgan said, bored. “But I grew up with boys.”

Finally, she could make herself happy and fuzzy again as she lay down next to Law, inched closer and let her head find its resting, nesting spot on his right pectoral. Morgan sighed. “Promise me you will never be a boring old man.”

#long post for ts #pilawforhire #♡ when i’m high like heaven / when i’m strong like music {answer / ic}#(law is so wholesome????)#submission

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yakumtsaki · 7 years ago

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Well, well, well, look who’s back with the most morally repugnant update in Union history. Me. It’s been a very productive summer of Netflix, chill and giving wrong directions to tourists but all good things must come to an end. Also coming to an end is my ill-fated attempt to kill Max, who, after refusing to eat the cake FOR 2 FUCKING DAYS is finally released from the cage of death. Honestly, I’m impressed, Max, you’re definitely not as stupid as you look.

-Yea, I get that a lot.

I doubt that but whatever, now gtfo and I better not see your Komei-clone ass around Jojo ever again or it’s back in prison for you!

-So, Jojo, not that we’re not all extremely invested in the excruciating selection process of your husband, but are you any closer to picking one?? I mean I love this whole commune thing we have going but the constant food delivery for 8 is killing us.

-We’re afraid not, dear brother, it’s starting to look like no one in this world is worthy of our majesty.

Ugh are we really doing royal ‘we’ now? Is this what this has come to?

-Yes, college has really helped develop our sense of self-worth.

How can it be self-worth if you’re ‘we’?

-This is exactly the kind of idiotic questioning that would get you eliminated from the suitor process.

Oh, perish the thought! And miss out on this classical-music-dick-measuring-contest you have them doing?

-Ew seriously, Francis, Vivaldi? Why don’t you turn up to Justin Bieber while you’re at it.

Man, what a zinger! Good times. JOJO PICK A FUCKING DUDE ALREADY SO I CAN MOVE THE OTHERS OUT THE LOT IS LAGGY AS SHIT

-I lost the dick measuring contest and my punishment is sleeping on the couch.

KILL HIM IN HIS SLEEP MELODY

-Maybe later, Real Housewives of Pleasantview is on, Cassandra is getting dragged for the pigtails!!

-Ha, look at this Vivaldi-listening losér! Point at him and laugh, everyone!

-Who’s laughing now, bitch? Not you with that hoof right in your French-whore mouth!

-Ugh, aren’t you late for the beans-on-toast feast, you limey piece of merde?

Not since the 100 Years War have French-British tensions ran this high. Of course that one was for a throne, while this one..

-Is for something far more important.. Our heart.

LMAO Jojo please be serious, you don’t have a heart.

-We absolutely do and it’s made out of pure gold.

Yea I guess, I mean gold is a metal after all!

-Do you really think you should be eating decaying Chinese food, mon cheri? You’re going to need a soda to digest it and you know it’s too cold for your teeth!

-Wyatt, I don’t pay you to think, I pay you to sit across from me and look pretty, and occasionally to scooch down next to me so I look taller.

-You actually don’t pay me at all.

-Yes and obviously I’m getting my money’s worth.

Wow Jojo tone it down, your gold heart is shinning so brightly I’m gonna go blind!

Precious Gunther has added three new addictions to his existing sex one! A) working out in this atrocious outfit.

B) blowing bubbles from dawn to dusk.

and c) and the most disturbing one, constantly being alone in enclosed spaces with his brother’s intended, Brit Brit. At first I wasn’t too worried about it, thinking Brit is a popularity sim so it’s only natural..but then..

I SEE THIS. GODDAMMIT GUNTHER WHY MUST YOU HAVE CHEMISTRY WITH EVERYONE

-Man idk, it’s almost supernatural. Blame it on God ;)

UGH I don’t even know who I hate more, your whore ass-

-or this fucking llama that hasn’t gone home in 3 days and is eating all our pizza.

-I just feel so accepted here, like I’m part of the family, you know?

GET OUT

Speaking of furries, not even the cow will approach the fucking cowplant, jfc. I mean you’d expect some kind of kinship there but nop. Great job Jojo, you killed a dozen secret society members for a defective cowplant.

-Mooo :(

I don’t know which one of you did that but stfu, I can’t anymore with this flop ass household!!!1

ANYWAY back to Brit and Daniel, it seems like my Gunther concerns were baseless, since these two remain eternally into each other, always autonomously doing cute crap.

-Oh Daniel, let me serenade you with the song of your people!

The kings made us drunk with fumes, peace among us, war to the tyrants! Let the armies go on strike, stocks in the air, and break ranks. If they insist, these cannibals on making heroes of us, they will know soon that our bullets are for our own generals ♪

ROMANCE ISN’T DEAD

In other news, allow me to present you all with Melody’s personality panel. I was under the false impression that being the child of Wanda and Stephen she was.. nice?? But nop, total Union freak material! We hit the jackpot once again. Now her best friendship with bitch Brit makes total sense.

-Honestly girl, this janky ass house is such a step down from the sorority, I spend half the day thinking of ways to peace out.

-Ugh I know, I was on the fence at first but can you really put a price on good d?

-Aw, what are my beautiful hens cackling about? May I join?

-No.

-I was about to make a math joke but I doubt you gals would get it, amirite? As Barbie said, math is hard!

- I’m a literal math major.

-Oh I know, Mel, good for you! Affirmative action works wonders!

KILL HIM AND HIS HAREM WE DON’T NEED THE LAG

It’s another day in paradise. Daniel has finally cracked and gone full Komei, autonomously cleaning shit even though we have a maid..

Melody ate a ton of burnt grilled cheese and is non-stop throwing up..

AND THIS BULLSHIT IS STILL GOING ON. STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE

-What?? We’re just talking, GAWD

No you’re not “””just talking””” you’re gossiping and doing sexy whispers, I KNOW YOUR TRICKS GUNTHER-

-I don’t mean to interrupt but I think you’re focusing on the wrong issue here?

OH AM I?? DO TELL

-LOOK OUTSIDE BITCH

Nice try whores, nothing is happening outside-

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. WHAT.

-That’s right, Ti-Ning and I are in love now!

............................FRAN THIS BETTER BE SOME DRY ASS BRITISH HUMOR

-Nop! We got tired of waiting for Jojo and we decided the best way to handle it was to suddenly make out in front of him even tho we have never even flirted before!

THIS LITERALLY CANNOT BE HAPPENING

-Well it is, so best accept it and we can all move on :)

Oh yea certainly, I mean if anything Jojo is known for his ability to forgive and forget!

See the ghost of Ti-Ning indeed! Finally a wish Jojo and I share.

TI-NING OMFG THIS LACK OF SHAME

-Haha!!! Finally I’m free to be as gross as I want >:)

Well.. enjoy it while it lasts.

-The hell does that mean??

Nothing, just you know, none of us know when our time will come.. only that it will. The curse of human existence, one might say. Only we among the animal world know that we will die. Memento mori, Ti-Ning. And we will memento you.

-..Yea, maybe it’s time I move out?

I mean, you can try..

..but like the curse from It Follows, it follows. It being Jojo. How you holding up boo?

-Oh, I’m great, can’t you tell?

You know what might help? Some of your beloved homework! Do something useful, get your mind off this stuff..

“Sending The First Human to Mercury and Leaving Him There: A Very Specific Space Exploration Proposal”

-Jojό!! I’m writing about how I finally won your heart but please don’t look, I’m gonna read this at our wedding!

-Yea I literally couldn’t care less about you and your thoughts/feelings/etc, what was left of my heart is dead and gone and now there’s only a black hole there.. Oh we could also send Ti-Ning to a black hole if Mercury doesn’t work. Nice.

-UGH how are you even still alive and breathing the same air as me and not dead from shame like you should be, you vile adulteress???

-OH PLEASE you’re just mad cause Fran and I realized we can do better than your mega-jaw ass. If not for the endless supply of bubbles around here blurring our vision this would have happened weeks ago!

-I’m going to strangle you in your sleep and my jaw will be the last thing you see.

-Your jaw would be the last thing I saw even if I died on the moon.

-MAYBE YOU WILL

.....................well I guess it’s official then. And if the above didn’t seal it..

..this definitely did. God have mercy on me, what a shitshow.

While Tin and Fran are woohooing, Jojo attempts to end his troubles once and for all by running out of the house and into a thunder fire. Thankfully the rain puts it out quickly and all we’re left with is critically low hygiene.

Man, serving Penguin teas! You have the entire look down, Jo. I’d tell you to audition for Gotham but that’s extremely bad career advice

-Oh god, I almost died!!!!

Aw I know, but don’t worry you’re safe now <3

-No I mean I came so close but didn’t make it.. :(

Jojo please, if anything, live to kill Ti-Ning and Francis. You owe it to yourself.

As soon as Fran and Tin are done, guess who rushes in to gossip next to the bed. ISTG YOU ASSHOLES, BREAK IT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT THAT WINDOW

-Whatever, we’d just land on Jojo trying to set himself on fire.

-LOL oh Brit you’re so funny!

I HATE THIS HOUSE

-HAD FUN, DID WE YOU SLUT

-Get him, Jojό!

Honestly Wyatt, I get being supportive but I’m really starting to worry about you, even demeaning yourself has its limits..

..especially since Jojo continues to be a massive freakshow. Good lord.

-Oh Francis, don’t tell Wyatt cause you know how he gets, but your total disregard for my existence is making me see you in a whole new, hot, light..

Man, good thing Wyatt isn’t standing 3 steps away from you!

Oh yes, loving this dinner. An ocean between us..

-I wouldn’t eat that third slice if I was you, Ti-Ning. Your funeral day is fast approaching, don’t you want to look nice for it?

-Well you’ll be there so it doesn’t matter, everyone will be looking at your jaw.

Yes, what a wonderful night. Now let’s all go to bed and hopefully everyone will have calmed down a little by tomorrow!

LMAO yea idk what I was thinking.

-Strangle me in my sleep? How about I strangle you in broad daylight???

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but.. poor Jojo. Not only did he get his ass beat, but to literally add insult to the injury-

-everyone is lusting after Gunther during his defeat. Jfc, I’d want to set myself on fire too.

Oh here we go, Gunther to the rescue!

-How dare you beat up my brother even though he attacked you first? Prepare to die!

-Whatever, I’ve been preparing for that for the last couple days!

Aw, Gunther is such a good brother/giant loser depending on the outcome of this fight.

VINDICATION. Bravo, Gunther, defending our non-existent family honor!

Daniel, in true Daniel fashion, slept through this entire shitshow, which might be the smartest thing he’s ever done.

Oop, spoke too soon. Say what you want about Gunther and Daniel but man do they both love Jojo! Truly god knows why.

-So Brit, you’re studying poli-sci, can you think of a peaceful resolution to this? Haha!

-YOU STFU TI-NING MY FINALS ARE TODAY MY GPA IS ALREADY IN THE TOILET AND NOW IM GONNA FLOP CAUSE YOU ASSHOLES SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT FUCKING AND THE WHOLE DAY FIGHTING AND I HAVEN’T SLEPT AT ALL DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL I’M GONNA BURN THIS PLACE TO THE FUCKING GROUND IF YOU TRY ME

Well, you might not need to Brit! WHAT IS UP WITH THIS HYPER-FLAMMABLE CACTUS

Brit returns from her finals with a free pizza! How’d you do, Brit?

-Saved by the nightie again!

NOICE. Got a freebie pizza from it too?

-No, I found it in the garbage. My gift to Francis and Ti-Ning for their 3 day anniversary!

Jojo’s official greek house portrait coming along nicely! Wow he looks very majestic..

..Instagram vs Real Life.

-Bowling is so satisfying if you pretend the pins are your former lovers’ genitals!

Whatever coping method works for you boo!

Gunther and Ti-Ning are officially enemies which is hilarious because not even Jojo is enemies with him?? Follow your bliss, Guns!

In an impressive display of brotherly synchronicity we have double slapping across the room. Double the slapping for half the time, Jojo is as always a true capitalist.

JOJO!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WON! So proud of my baby <3 I’m ofc kidding, this shit has gotten old really fast and I extremely feel Brit watching uninterested. ENOUGH

HARD MOOD. Brit is honestly on another level than the rest of us basics. What an icon.

For some reason I bothered to fulfill Ti-Ning’s want to learn that relationship maintenance or w/e lifetime skill (talk about money down the drain) and the irony of this pop up text almost sent me to an early grave. And we know who’s going to an early grave today..

IT’S CAKE TIME. REACH OUT, TI-NING. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT

FINALLY. GOODBYE FIGHTING AND INSANE LAG

JESUS JOJO. STONE. COLD.

Ice Cube would like to say, that I'm a crazy muthafucka from around the way, since I was a youth, I smoked weed out, now I'm the muthafucka that ya read about, takin' a life or two, that's what the hell I do, you don't like how I'm livin well fuck you ♪

Wyatt and Brit were on their way to react to Ti-Ning’s little accident but somehow got sidetracked and are now randomly arguing on the porch. Honestly I don’t even know what’s going on anymore, I’ve lost all control of this household.

Jojo rushes over to celebrate Ti-Ning’s demise by immediately slapping the shit out of his grieving lover! Whenever you think we can’t possibly sink any lower, think again. Like right now, after the slapping, are you thinking we can’t sink any lower?????????????????????????????

THINK. AGAIN.

ARE YOU SCREAMING? CAUSE I DID

YUP THIS IS HAPPENING

IT’S REAL

IT’S. REAL. THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH CURSE WORDS IN ANY LANGUAGE TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS

FUCK YOU FRANCIS. FUCK. YOU. YOU’RE GETTING MURDERED SO FUCKING HARD YOU UNBELIEVABLE ASSHOLE. I’M FUCKING DONE. JOJO YOU’RE GONNA DIE ALONE TIME FOR ALL OF US TO ACCEPT THAT REALITY. WE STARTED OUT WITH 3 CANDIDATES AND ENDED UP HERE. HOW THE EVERLOVING FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN FRANCIS AND WYATT HAVE. 1 BOLT. ONE. WYATT IS A FAMILY SIM I’M SO PISSED OFF I NEED TO TAKE A MOMENT

OK. In my 10 years of playing I have never wanted to quit without saving more than with this bullshit. Look at fucking Fran’s smug ass face and moron Wyatt putting on an Oscar worthy performance of shock and regret. YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID NO, YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME WYATT. What the FUCK are we gonna do now???? I guess good thing Max Flexor survived the cage of death. GOD.DAMMIT

#ts2 #union legacy

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vinylflames · 7 years ago

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Love, sex and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!!!!

I was wondering if anypony (preferably girls) would like me as their boyfriend or something...

You could fill me with Pleasure and Love, Passion and Sex! You can do mostly everything you want to me, if it’s making me feel better!!

I would really love to talk to a sexual girl, do stuff, send pics... and more!!!

But I guess it can’t be this way right??

And if she loves furry, my little pony, porn, wolves, dragons, horse cocks, and hypnotized slave porn, it would be the PARADISE!!!!!

And if she looks like that:

IT WOULD BE NICE AND SEXY, and I’ll probably get a huge boner....

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helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog · 7 years ago

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STAR SIGHTINGS: Lucy Hale Turns 28, Derek Hough Plays With Puppies and More!

Happy birthday, Lucy Hale!

The Pretty Little Liars star was spotted celebrating her 28th birthday at Viva Hollywood on Saturday. Friends like Sarah Hyland, Dominic Sherwood and Tyler Posey helped the actress ring in her 28th birthday at the Los Angeles hot spot, where she traded in a traditional birthday cake for a tray of donuts! Before satisfying her sweet tooth, the brunette beauty and her crew dined on the Viva Guacamole, BBQ Pollo Asado Flatbread, Empanadas, Carne Asada Tacos, Short Rib Taquitos and more, while sipping on the "Viva la Vida" by Viva 32 Tequila.

EXCLUSIVE: 'Pretty Little Liars' Star Lucy Hale Splits From Longtime Boyfriend Anthony Kalabretta

Hale wasn't the only one celebrating her birthday this week! Lana Del Rey turned 32 at TAO LA, surrounded by friends like Robin Thicke and his girlfriend, April Love. The group later continued the party over at Avenue.

Over at Delilah, Anwar Hadid celebrated his big 1-8. The model's sister, Bella Hadid, graciously carried the Kendall Slutty Brownie cake over to her brother, while the room sang "Happy Birthday" -- and his girlfriend, Nicola Peltz, gave him a big kiss! Guests were served finger foods off the menu, including Chicken Sliders, Vegan Kale Salad, Shrimp Cocktail, Fries, Deviled Eggs and Pita Chips.

Also in L.A. was Aaron Paul, who put his muscles to work while filming vitamwater's "Drink Outside the Lines" TV ad.

Vitaminwater

RELATED: Aaron Paul's Wife Just Melted Our Hearts With This Sweet Birthday Message to Her 'Perfect' Man!

Baywatch star Charlotte McKinney celebrated the start of summer by getting her boxing on. The model and and other L.A. influencers gloved up at BoxUnion in Santa Monica, California, where they were treated to a signature 45-minute high-intensity workout, which consisted of shadowboxing, plyometric cardio and heavy bag drills.

ETONLINE

Judy Greer, meanwhile, kept cool with a milkshake made with lactose-free, real dairy Lactaid Milk and Ice Cream at New Territories in Los Angeles.

Michael Simon

The Pitch Perfect cast, including Courtney Knowles, Jason Menhennett, Shelley Regner, Anna Kendrick, Brittany Snow, Chrissie Fit and Kelley Jakle, had an aca-awesome day off while visiting Universal Studios Hollywood on June 19.

RELATED: Steph Curry Celebrates With Adorable Daughters Riley & Ryan After Golden State Warriors Win NBA Championship

Also in the mood to relax were Golden State Warriors players Klay Thompson, Draymond Green, Andre Iguodala, Zaza Pachulia and Matt Barnes, who celebrated their recent NBA Championship at LIQUID Pool Lounge at ARIA Resort & Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada. The group was seated in a private section of the VIP cabanas, decorated with blue and gold balloons, mini Warriors basketball hoops, Golden State flags and an epic cake topped with a model of the NBA Championship trophy. Green continued his celebrations from the previous night at JEWEL Nightclub, where he danced, enjoyed drinks and chatted with guests.

In Atlanta, former NFL player and actor Sergio Joachim surprised guests at the grand opening of Pajama Program's new Atlanta Reading Center, the fourth location to open and the first outside of the New York/New Jersey areas, on June 13.. First Lady of Georgia Sandra Deal cut the ribbon alongside Pajama Program’s founder Genevieve Piturro and Michael D. Casey, Chairman & Chief Executive Officer, Carter’s Inc. To celebrate the opening, guests enjoyed sweet treats from King of Pops and a beautiful custom-cake from Baker’s Man featuring a book with the Atlanta skyline.

Over on the East Coast, Jennifer Lawrence showed off her summer style while running around New York City wearing an Elsa Peretti Mesh scarf necklace.

Joey Andrew

RELATED: Jennifer Lawrence Is the Epitome of Summer Chic in Sexy Bodysuit and Skinny Jeans

On June 21, model-turned-landscape artist, Lily Kwong celebrated a new season at the VIP Opening of Maison St-Germain, where she and other guests sipped on St-Germain cocktail pairings by St-Germain Global Ambassador Camille Ralph Vidal, listened to beats by DJ Mia Moretti, and munched on French hors d’oeuvres.

Ashley Benson looked cute in NYC while celebrating eBay's new brand platform, "Fill Your Cart With Color."

Michael Simon

Bella Hadid, meanwhile, got a surprise guest at her NYC photo shoot, when her cute pup, Oslow, showed up. The 20-year-old model called upon Wag! dog walking service to make sure her furry friend was well-taken care of before they jetted off to Paris to hang out with Gigi Hadid and boyfriend, Zayn Malik's French Bulldog.

Mark Consuelos got ready for a trip of his own as he packed a suitcase full of goodies from Marshalls ahead of his weekend getaway with friends in Telluride.

Michael Simon

RELATED: Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos Celebrate Son Joaquin's Middle School Graduation

Ethan Hawke posed for photos in celebration of his May/June cover for Haute Living Los Angeles with Bertaud Belieu Rosè at Socialista in New York City on June 21.

Exclusiveaccess.net

Just a few days earlier, Lala Anthony was spotted in NYC using a Charmin Van-GO, the first-ever on-demand mobile bathroom service.

Michael Simon

WATCH: DeMario Jackson Will Not Be Returning to 'Bachelor in Paradise,' Source Says

Daytime Divas star Chloe Bridges and LAPALME Magazine Creative Director Derek Warburton dined at Sea Fire Grill in NYC.

And just hours before leaving for Mexico to resume Bachelor in Paradise, Amanda Stanton joined friend Lauren Bushnell at the SodaStream Taste Test event in NYC for National Hydration Day on June 22.

Sara Jaye Weiss

On Nantucket Island, Massachusetts, Derek Hough enjoyed some puppy playtime wile celebrating the new NUTRO. FEED CLEAN™ dry dog food recipes.

Scott Eisen | Associated Press

Little Mix singer Perrie Edwards, meanwhile, kicked off her summer in St. Lucia showing some PDA with her soccer star boyfriend, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.

See more must-see star sightings in the slideshow below.

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msbigredmachine · 8 years ago

Text

Into The Deep End - Chapter 40

Sasha has always tried to play it safe, to keep her life as simple and risk-free as possible. Things change, however, when she garners the interest of a handsome, charming, younger man from a completely different world than hers. As she starts to question her own rules, is she ready to take the biggest chance of them all? Will she let herself take that dive? Roman Reigns/OC.

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CHAPTER 39

Joe woke up to sunrays across his face, no covers over his naked body, and an intense sensation in his groin. Sasha lay between his legs, deep-throating his dick.

"Holy shit!" He shot up off the bed, trying to brace himself on his elbows, and almost ripped his arms out of their sockets in the process. He craned his head upwards and saw his wrists shackled in the furry handcuffs from last night, chained to the a corner of the four poster bed so he could not move. He gaped at his girlfriend in utter shock, taking in the sly smile on her face.

"Good morning, big boy," she whispered, her tongue darting out for a long, slow lick of his length before she swallowed him again.

"Oh my god," was all he could say as he slumped back down on the bed, his jaw dropping as her hot, sexy mouth engulfed him. He felt her smile around his cock before sucking harder, felt her fist twist faster around the base, and within seconds he came hard, twitching eagerly inside her mouth. He'd been ambushed, and as sneaky as that was, god if he wasn't turned the fuck on right now.

Sasha released his penis from her mouth with an audible pop and reached for something on the night stand. Joe gaped at the object with wide eyes and glared at her. "You wouldn't."

Straddling him, Sasha smirked, an eyebrow raised defiantly as she tugged the elastic band of the pink eye mask between her fingers. "Oh, but I would. And I am."

And she brought the mask over his eyes, securing the band behind his head. Joe groaned, missing his sight instantly. "Aw babe, this is just foul," he protested.

"Turnabout is fair play, Mr. Reigns. Deal with it," she said, nibbling his ear. "Besides, I think you're gonna like it."

He could feel her hands roaming his upper body as she straddled his wide torso. She wasn't wearing any underwear; he could feel her moist heat against his skin. His lips parted and his breathing was labored as she caressed his broad chest. "Have I told you how gorgeous your skin is, baby?" she said. "It looks like butterscotch. I just wanna lick you all up." She put action to her words, trailing her tongue from one end of his collarbone to the tattoo adorning his pecs. Joe's body was alight with sensation. Her warm breath and her tongue on his skin, her voice low and husky, had never been more erotic than now, now that he couldn't see anything. All of his senses were heightened and he knew that she planned to take full advantage of that.

Sasha continued to kiss and touch him, tracing the goosebumps breaking out all over his body. His hard, strong, beautiful big body, custom-built for sex, custom-made for her. The first taste she had of him, she became insatiable. She knew right away that she would want no one else and that had not changed. She reared back and grasped his impressive length once again, stroking it up and down, dragging a moan off his lips. She felt powerful and sexy knowing that she could turn this behemoth of a man, the powerhouse of The Shield, into putty with her touch. "Mm, look at that. Already hard for me again," she purred, stroking and squeezing him. "You got a magnificent dick, baby. Thick and hard and tasty. And you know the best part? It belongs to me. Ain't that right big boy?"

Pleasure crashed down on every sense he owned and it was a miracle that he could think straight. Breathing hard, his hips instinctively bucked as her hand grew bolder, stroking up and down, all five fingers marking every ridge of his hardness. She took turns stroking and squeezing him, earning another round of tormented groans from the restrained man. "Fuck Sash, you're gonna make me come again."

He heard her low, teasing chuckle, but suddenly she stopped, and he felt her grip on him loosen as she shifted away. His ears strained to decipher where she was going, what she was up to, but could hear nothing other than the sound of his own heavy breathing. Lying prone and naked on the bed, blindfolded and handcuffed, as exhilarating as it felt, also left him feeling slightly vulnerable. The blend of adrenaline, anticipation and frustration was a delicious combination.

Suddenly she gripped him again, and a moist warmth far more potent than her mouth enveloped his entire length. His body jerked as Sasha lowered herself onto him, her moan of pleasure ringing in his ears as she settled fully over him. Joe lay there helplessly, hissing with pleasure as she began to rotate her hips, feeling her slick, heated flesh glide over his. With each downward motion her muscles clenched around him. "Mm yeah," she rasped, rocking up and down on him. "Oh, fuck yeah."

"You love ridin' my dick, don't you baby?" Joe growled, rolling his own hips slowly, the Alpha Male in him unwilling to let her have all the fun. "You love my big dick deep inside your drippin' pussy?"

"Oh yeah, baby. My pussy loves your dick so fuckin' much," she answered, her ass rotating steadily with him balls-deep inside her. Even with his impaired vision he could tell what she was doing from the sounds of her husky moans, what she wasn't allowing him to do; caressing her hair, cupping her swaying breasts and tweaking the pebbled nipples, just like he would have. She sounded so sexy. Sweat broke out on his skin, and his abs tightened and his breathing was ragged and heavy. Never in his life had he felt so good. Every sensation was magnified and that much better. Sasha kept her hands on his chest and churned her hips counter-clockwise, then in reverse, guiding him closer to his climax, and just when he was absolutely sure he was going to come she stilled, lifting her ass and loosening up her inner muscles around his dick.

Joe groaned in frustration. "Fuckin' tease," he snarled through gritted teeth.

Sasha giggled and captured his mouth in hers for a quick passionate kiss. "You're so hot, baby," she whispered, "I've never seen anyone so beautiful." She kissed his neck, already slick with sweat, and bit gently on it, feeling his jaw clench in reaction. She remained motionless on top of him, still intimately joined, and Joe tugged at the handcuffs, sorely tempted to try to break them. "Nani, let me see you. Let me touch you. I need to touch you. Please."

Her eyes brightened. He had never begged her before. But he had his fun with her last night and now it was her turn. She was going to protract his agony for as long as she could. She squeezed her breast in one hand and guided it to his mouth. He latched onto it, sucking ravenously. She offered him the other breast and received the same treatment. Running her hands along his outstretched arms and linking their fingers together, she covered his mouth with hers again, slipping her tongue in and out of his mouth. She wasn't moving but he could feel her essence seeping out of her, flowing down his throbbing length and escalating the erotic heat between them. She was tight and hot and wet and driving him absolutely wild, and not being able to touch or see her was torture; devastatingly beautiful torture. "Sasha," he whined into her mouth, "Baby, you're killin' me."

"I love the way you moan my name, baby," she whispered. With her hands slipping down to grab his ass and her ankles tucked underneath his thighs, she resumed her slow, methodical grinding, breaking their kiss to moan into his neck. It was pleasure overload for the Samoan, broken breaths escaping him each time she slid him deep into her moistness.

"Fuck, your pussy feels so good," he panted, "Ride me hard, baby girl. Fuck me."

She had no problem obliging him. The pleasure was becoming unbearable even for her. Planting a steamy kiss on his lips she pushed up on her arms and began riding him fast and hard, bouncing her ass on his erection. Joe's head tipped back, moaning uncontrollably as he got lost in the overwhelming pleasure. She held him down to the bed and slammed herself onto him over and over, the two moaning and groaning with ecstasy as euphoria danced closer. His dick swelled inside her, her cries mingled with his groans as her narrow channel tightened around his stiff length. Sasha cried out, her fingernails scraping his chest as she shattered around him, her orgasm riddling her entire body with tremors. Beneath her, Joe's body shuddered as he came with a guttural groan, his seed spurting generously inside her for the second time this morning. Jerking his hips one last time he went limp, and he moaned in protest when she moved, slipping him out of her in the process. The eye mask came off his face, and he had to blink away the stars in his eyes to readjust to the daylight. She unlocked the handcuffs and gently massaged his wrists. Chuckling, she loomed above him, her beautiful face flushed with satisfaction.

"I love watching you come," she said. "You have the best facial expression ever, even blindfolded."

"That was so fuckin' hot," Joe mumbled blissfully, silenced momentarily by her kiss. "Hell of a way to wake up."

"Glad you liked," said Sasha, draping her naked frame over his as he reached for his phone to check the time. He then remembered he hadn't communicated with the WWE Universe in a while. Attaching a photo he'd taken of the beach view from his patio, he sent out a simple tweet.

Paradise. #life #love #recovery

Sasha tilted her head curiously. "Who are you talking to?"

"The fans. And Ambrose says hi," he replied just as his friend's iMessage came in. He played around on his phone for a bit before turning it towards Sasha. "Say cheese."

"What?" Startled, she yanked the sheets over her chest. "Motherfucker I'm naked!"

"So?" he retorted, wiggling his eyebrows.

Sasha slapped his chest. "Not funny, perv. This ain't no Kim K sex tape crap. Ain't nobody got time for that."

His features perked up. "Sex tape, huh?" he purred, moving on top of her and resting his forearms by her head. "You tryna tell me somethin', Morgan?"

She shook her head instantly, frowning. "If it's what I think you're thinking, then absolutely not. I would never, ever make a sex tape or take nude photos. Out of the question. And you shouldn't either. You're famous and somehow, someway they'll get leaked."

"That always seems to happen, doesn't it?" he agreed.

"Exactly. I really don't think the world needs to see us doing the dirty." She shuddered at the thought. With the way information traveled around these days, the tape or pictures would surely find their way to her children and she would never be able to look them in the eye again. And that was a scary thought. It wasn't worth it. Not at all. "I don't mind trying new stuff to spice things up in bed but I draw the line at sex tapes and nudes. And anal," she added.

Joe nodded. "Yeah, I remember that little caveat. Would be fun to make a tape with you though," he mused, pressing his lips to hers. "Alma recommended a spa somewhere in town that I should take you to. She said we won't regret it. After that we'll go out for dinner," he said.

"Where?"

"Somewhere cool." Another kiss. "You're going to have to wear flip flops though."

"Oh, it's gonna be sandy?"

"You could say that," he answered enigmatically as she initiated the kiss this time, her hand stroking his bulging bicep. "You brought that green dress I like right? The one with the open back?" She nodded. "Wear that tonight."

"Okay." She raised an eyebrow when he started to crawl down her body and disappear underneath the sheets. "What are you doing?"

"I'm about to return the favor from earlier," he replied, sprinkling butterfly kisses down the length of her body until his head was between her legs. Sasha swallowed hard. "You didn't get enough last night? Just now?" she questioned, her fingers sneaking into his hair.

"I can never get enough of you, nani," said Joe.

Damn, she loved when he looked at her like that. "By the end of this trip I'll be walking funny," she laughed.

"That's the plan." He winked at her and swiped his tongue against her inner thigh. "Now hush. I got work to do."

And with that he lowered his head and settled his mouth over her, wiping every memory she owned with indescribable pleasure.

-----------------

"So what's been your favorite part of the weekend so far?" Joe asked Sasha as he took a bite of his sushi. He'd surprised her with dinner on a beautiful, tiny private island. They were ferried by boat to the place, where a small table was already set with their meals and drinks, the table and chairs sitting in shallow, perfectly clear water on pure white sand.

Sasha took a sip of champagne. "Parasailing was awesome. I was petrified at first but the wind was incredible, it felt like a rush. The spa was super nice too. I can still feel the effects all over myself. My favorite part though? The sex we've been having. You are in fine form, big boy."

His eyes lit up proudly and he smiled that beautiful smile of his. "The pleasure is all mine. I've missed fucking you, baby girl."

"Likewise, sweetie." She laughed and sipped her drink again. "I enjoyed exploring the town yesterday too. Thank you again for the earrings." She turned her head from side to side, showing off her new gold dangle earrings.

"They're beautiful on you."

"Thanks. I could get used to this place, you know. The beaches, the clean air, the beauty of it all."

"You should," he answered, "I plan on bringing you here again in the future, as well as many other places."

There was that word again. Future. A word he'd been using more often lately, and she couldn't help but feel giddy inside. She cut up a piece of her lamb and held it up to his mouth. "Here, try some."

He bit the meat off the fork and chewed on it. "Mmm. It's good."

"Really good," said Sasha. "What about you? Favorite part of the trip?"

"My folks' party has to be right up there. And I also enjoyed parasailing. Done it a couple of times before but it was fun with you. And I totally agree with the sex part. Two months is definitely a long time to go without."

"I'd like to see you go eight years," challenged Sasha.

Joe immediately made a face. "Hell no! I'll die. I don't know how you did it."

"Of course." She rolled her eyes and giggled. "All you men need sex. Y'all can't function without it. I was doing fine before you showed up, now I've turned into a nympho slut thanks to you." She shot him a playful glare.

"You're welcome," said Joe, lazily rubbing her thigh. "I'm glad I took the time off. I needed this."

"You did," Sasha agreed. "Resting up and recharging your batteries is important. And it's been fun too. Too bad tomorrow's the last day."

"Yeah," he pouted. "I remember you saying something about us spending the whole day in bed. You still want that?"

"Yep. Preferably naked," she stated, looking out over the water. The sun was setting, and they were finishing up with their meal. "Wow. I need a shot of this view."

"I still can't believe I forgot to bring a camera," Joe said, pouring himself another glass of champagne. "You're a good photographer and you know your cameras, I might have let you have it too."

"Uh-uh. You've already pampered me enough." She stood up, held her phone carefully so as not to drop it in the shallow water, and took a couple of photos of the water, the trees and the tiny island. The light was perfect. She then turned her phone to her boyfriend and took a few shots while he wasn't looking. His expression was thoughtful as he leaned back in his chair staring at his glass of champagne. He glanced up at her and gave her his usual sexy half smile. He looked devastatingly perfect in a navy blue V-neck muscle shirt and black shorts, his sleek black hair pulled back behind him. "You're so handsome," Sasha commented.

His smile broadened. Suddenly, he pulled her onto his lap and took the phone from her. Curling one arm around her waist, he took a picture of the two of them. They'd been capturing lots of memories of their weekend together and she doubted she would ever forget any of them. Joe returned her phone to her and wrapped both arms around her, nestling his cheek against hers. He smelled so good. Sasha loved that he never seemed able to stop touching her, always held her protectively like she was precious cargo. She rested her head on his shoulder, running her fingertips along his chest.

"You tired yet?" he murmured, his head twisting to softly kiss her forehead.

She shook her head. "Not really."

"Good. I wanna take you somewhere."

They left dinner and ventured further into the small island, coming across a traditional landscape garden. A stone pathway led to a beautiful orchid with rows of exotic flowers, with wooden benches in the middle where people could sit. The air smelled great. Sasha felt like she'd walked into a bottle of perfume. Instantly drawn to the rose bushes, she inhaled a rose and was reminded of all the colorful bouquets Joe had given her in the past. "Now this is a rose bush," she stated, impressed. "If I ever have a house of my own, a real house, the garden's going to look just like this."

Coming up behind her, Joe placed his hands on her arms and rubbed them up and down. "I could give them to you, you know," he whispered.

Turning around, she looked at him curiously. "Give me what?"

"The house, the garden you're talking about...What if I told you I can give it all to you and more?" he said. His words were loaded, and as she scrutinized his perfect grey eyes, his expression passionate and hopeful and vulnerable, she suddenly understood what he was talking about. What he meant.

Future.

Suppressing the overwhelming feelings that brewed within her, she kept calm and smiled at him. "I'd believe you," she said truthfully. "I'd also tell you that there's still a long time to think about that, that we shouldn't rush things and instead enjoy what we have right now."

He was quiet for a while, and for a second she wondered if he was displeased by her answer. She was relieved to see him nod and an understanding smile appear on his handsome face. "Fair enough." He raised their joined fingers to his lips. "Come. Let's see more."

Together they strolled around the garden, admiring the roses that made up the high walls. There were many rows of many colors; red, pink, yellow, white, peach. Sasha was pleasantly surprised by Joe explaining the significance of each of the colors. Whenever he bought flowers for Sasha in person, the bubbly florist he went to was always eager to divulge the information to him to the point that it was now imbedded in his memory.

"I wonder if this is what our school gym looked like at Prom," Sasha commented randomly as she looked around. "It was supposed to be a flower theme or something if I remember correctly."

"Didn't you go to Prom?" Joe asked, his voice trailing off as the answer to his own question hit him. "Oh yeah..."

"Mm-hmm," she smirked. "I'd left by then. Prom was no place for a pregnant teenager. The punch and sodas would've been spiked with booze anyway."

Joe winced and smacked his forehead. "I forgot all about that. I'm an idiot."

"No you're not. It's not like I talk about it all the time," she said, smiling at him. "You on the other hand made Prom King, Mr. Most Attractive."

He blushed a little. "That was a long time ago. I'm sure you'd have made Queen. Stuck it to all those Mean Girls."

"Ah, the Mean Girls," said Sasha, "Actually me and Pam were among the very few chicks in school that couldn't be touched by them 'cause they knew we could fuck them up if we wanted to."

"You and Pam were badasses back then it seems," he joked.

"What, and we're not now?" she taunted, "Don't let Pam hear that. The two of us combined can lay waste to your precious Divas."

"I'd pay to see that," Joe stated with a grin.

"Do you think I could be a Diva?" asked Sasha, "Not that I'd ever actually want to, God no. But do you think I could cut it?"

"Hell yeah," the Samoan nodded heartily. "With that sexy-ass body, your spunk and athletic background you'd be a definite shoe-in. But I wouldn't want you to be."

"Why not?"

"I don't want the world drooling over you. Imagine if it was back then when bra and panties matches were still going on. I would've hated it."

The mother of two tilted her head in amusement. "You're very possessive of me, Mr. Reigns."

"Got a problem with that?" he asked, ash-colored eyes shining with mischief.

A smile spread across her face. "Not at all. You don't go overboard with it. I get the same way with you sometimes."

"And I wouldn't have it any other way." Picking out a pink rose from the bushes, he broke off half the stem and tucked the flower into her wavy hair. He settled down on a nearby bench and pulled her next to him. Their fingers linked together on his lap, the two leaning against each other as they stared up at the stars littering the sky.

"Can I make a confession?" Sasha's soft voice broke the comfortable silence, and she heard his hum in reply. She wasn't exactly sure why she was bringing this up now, but it felt as good a time as any. "The first time we met...I found you a little intimidating."

Joe chuckled at the admission. "Why? My size?"

"That maybe, and you were so confident and so forward," she said, smiling softly as she reminisced. "I remember when you first asked me out. I was so confused. I kept wondering what this hot, young guy wanted with me, why he was interested in me. Did we even have anything in common? I thought you were just messin' around, ya know? That you were just looking for someone to pass the time with. I couldn't be that girl again, the stepping stone to move on to someone 'better'. I tried to fight you but I quickly realized it was pointless. I was drawn to you. You were bold and upfront and you knew what you wanted, yet you were down-to-earth and I liked that. I liked the attention you were giving me. I caught feelings for you real fast and I welcomed them, even at the risk of getting my heart broken again."

Joe untangled their fingers to wrap his big arm around her, his gaze still upon the sky above. "I was heading to the Grill one fine day. I hadn't been in ages. I actually almost didn't show up but I promised Reg I'd visit when I got back in town. I remembered I was running out of protein shake and stopped by this random-looking grocery store I've never been to before, and I end up bumping into this tiny, beautiful woman who looked like she wanted to beat the shit outta somebody." They both laughed at the memory. "She obviously didn't know who I was, but there was this fire I saw in her that just grabbed me and wouldn't let go. She cusses me out and then storms off before I can say anything else. And then her son, who I thought was her brother, gives me the stank eye for looking at her the wrong way. I'm like okay then, I guess it ends here. Just when I'm thinking I'm never going to see her again, two hours later, bam. There she is, at my friend's workplace. And I'm like this is it. Ain't nothin' stoppin' me now. I'm not letting her go this time. I want her and I won't stop until I've got her...well, unless she tells me to fuck off, I guess. I remember going home after I gave you my number and hoping to God that you didn't chuck it in the trash or something."

Sasha grinned. "I'll admit, I actually considered it."

Chuckling, Joe's lips met her hair. "I know. I'm glad you didn't. Our first date was my first in years." When Sasha pulled back to stare at him, he shrugged. "I'd stopped givin' a shit and just fucked around. Hit and split. Whenever I had problems with whoever I was fucking at the time I would run to some other chick to take the edge off. That was my life for three years. Lather, rinse, repeat. After I met you, that changed. I realized I wanted more than that. Wanted better, and you were that for me. You were the first woman to ever stand up to me and I liked that. Even when you called me out on my motives, I took it as a challenge. I wanted to prove you wrong, and I enjoyed watching you slowly open up to me. I never thought about straying from you, even when we just got started. In the time we were separated I forgot that any other woman existed. I was only counting the minutes, the hours that passed by without you. I think I always knew I was in love with you, but that was the moment when it truly hit me. And it felt like nothing I've ever felt before."

The mother of two kissed her boyfriend's shoulder, inhaling his appealing scent. "A number of times in my life, I thought I was in love," she whispered. "Maybe it was love. But now I'm not sure because none of it compared to how I feel about you." She never believed in fairy tales. Too much had happened in her life to put her faith in such silly fantasies. But this was damn near close to one. Joe, flaws, differences and all, was her Prince Charming, the man she'd dreamed as a little girl that would swoop in and sweep her off her feet. This Samoan Adonis had done all of that and more. She looked at him with tears and her heart in her brown eyes. "You've done so much for me, Joe. You have no idea how much better you make me feel about myself, how much more confident I am now."

Joe smiled softly. "That's the only way I ever want you to feel, baby girl. Beautiful. Sexy. Confident. Because you're all of that without even trying."

"We both got some baggage to get rid of though, don't we?" she asked, sighing deeply.

"We do. We'll help each other out with that every day." His eyes met hers, and again the look on his face was serious and reverent. "I know mine hasn't been the easiest to deal with, especially with my injury trying to revive those demons. You could have washed your hands off me but you didn't. You stood by me when I needed you, even when I thought I didn't. I brought you here to share this little time off with me and to show my appreciation."

And she'd felt every ounce of his appreciation, physically and emotionally, and loved every second of it. Touched, she clasped his precious face in her hands, staring affectionately at her incredible man. "And I thank you for it. For all of it. You know I'd do anything for you, baby. I love you so much," she replied earnestly.

Her gaze was tender and full of love that he couldn't believe was all for him. "I love you too. You mesmerize me, beautiful. No one's ever made me feel the way you do. Believe that."

Sasha broke down laughing. "You did not just say that!" she uttered incredulously. "You just used me to cut a promo," she added jokingly.

"Sorry," he answered sheepishly. "But you'll let me live because you love me, yes?"

"If we have sex in the Jacuzzi tonight, all will be forgiven."

Joe smirked and pulled her in for a kiss. "Deal."

--------------

Their last day, as agreed, was a relatively uneventful one. After Sasha surprised Joe with a lavish breakfast in bed, the couple hung out, talking and making out. Their final stroll along the beach turned into something more. The contrast of the white sand's coarse texture against Sasha's smooth chocolate skin, her moans blending with the rush of the tide as they made love on the beach, was a memory that the Samoan would never forget. In the late evening they cuddled together on the patio, watching the sunset, serenaded by the sounds of the ocean waves and the cool saline breeze. Of course, it wasn't long before they were embracing, their lips finding each other's, leisurely kissing and caressing as if they had all the time in the world.

"I wish we didn't have to go back," she whispered against his lips, both arms around him as she curled up on his lap. "I want to stay here with you forever." This was one of the most unforgettable few days of her life. The stresses and strains of reality had been a welcome distant memory here on this idyllic piece of paradise and in the arms of her love.

"Me too, baby girl," Joe murmured, palming her backside as he planted soft kisses along the column of her neck. It had been an amazing weekend. He was certain that he could remain like this, with her in his arms for the rest of his life and be a happy man. How had he ever existed without her? If he didn't know he was in love before, he did now. And he felt extremely privileged to know she shared his feelings. He had thought long and hard about their relationship these few days. He knew how he felt about her and how she felt about him. Although they'd been together for a relatively short time, he'd thought about taking it a step further. She had given him an idea of her own feelings though; that it was too soon. And perhaps she had a point. Maybe the time was not right yet. He was willing to wait, because the thought of their bond being jeopardized by his own selfish desires wrenched his gut. However, he could not end this trip without revealing the level of his commitment to her. She needed to know that he was serious about everything he'd ever promised her. "Sash?"

"Hmm?" She pecked his lips then pulled back, holding his gaze expectantly as she coiled a lock of his hair around her finger.

Humbled by the love shining in her beautiful eyes, he looked directly into them as he brushed her cheek with his thumb. "I'm going to ask you to marry me one day, and I hope you'll say yes."

----------------

Oooh...

Any advice for Sasha?

CHAPTER 41

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