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yaniiiiism · 15 days ago

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stars and raindrops. ꒰ a k.sm series ; chp 4 ꒱

chapter four. > and i’d gladly break my heart for you.

ㅤ ︵ ۫ 在 ི۪۪۪ 🦢 ྀ۪۪۪ 𓈒 ֹ

series index > main masterlist > schedule > main directory

♪┆pairing : kim seungmin x fem!reader ͏ ♪┆ info : sadfic , fluff , melancholy , unrequited love (cough cough) , feelings , mature themes , suggestive , bsfs , one sided , uni au , happy ending (?) ͏ ♪┆ personas + bg : uni students ; best friends ; trio of jisung, seungmin and reader. music students! ♪┆ word count : 2.2k ♪┆warnings : kinda sad, seungmo's a sweetheart but just clueless. lots of fluff tho

The girl sat cross-legged on her bed, fingers delicately strumming the electric guitar as her macbook sat open beside her. The soft hum of the amplifier filled the room as she plucked out a melody that had been swirling around in her mind for days.

Her loungewear, a pair of loose grey shorts and a snug white camisole, clung to her skin comfortably. Her hair was messily pulled back into a bun, a few rebellious strands slipping free, brushing against the black frames of her glasses perched on her nose.

The faint glow of her side lamp illuminated the clutter around her. Scattered pages from her journal were splayed across the bed, some scribbled with music notes, others filled with bits of lyrics and ideas. The scent of lavender lingered in the air, wafting from the diffuser on her nightstand. It was a cozy, creative chaos—her safe haven from the world outside.

A soft knock on the door jolted her out of her focus. She blinked, glancing at the door, and then back at the document she was working on. The knock came again, more insistent this time.

“Come in,” She called out.

The door opened, and standing there, in his typical nonchalant style, was her dear dorm mate. He was dressed casually, dark trousers and a faded band tee, hair slightly tousled as if he’d just rolled out of bed.

But there was something in his expression that made her pause – a slight hesitation that didn’t usually accompany his presence.

“Hey,” he greeted softly, dragging himself over to her bed, where a mess of sheet music and notebooks were scattered across the duvet. With a half-hearted attempt, he shuffled some papers to the side before collapsing onto the bed, resting his head on his hand as he lay on his side.

His eyes darted briefly to her glasses before flicking back to her face. “Am I interrupting?”

She barely glanced at him. “Mmm, no. Just working on a music file.” Her gaze was glued to the screen, glasses slipping slightly down the bridge of her nose as her brows furrowed in focus.

He nodded, glancing around at the organised mess. The soft, rhythmic strumming of the guitar still lingered in the air, mixing with the sound of the rain that had finally begun to patter gently against the window.

“Well, don’t you look extra gorgeous today!” He awkwardly cheered, to which the girl simply raised an eyebrow, knowing the look all too well ; despite the slight hue of crimson heating up her cheeks.

“What do you want, lover boy?” she groaned, glancing at him over the rim of her glasses.

“Can’t I just wanna spend some time with the bestest dorm-mate of mine, yeah?”

“Quit it.”

“Fine, fine.”

There was a brief pause as he gathered his thoughts, his gaze fixed on the floor before he looked up and met her eyes. “I wanted your.. help..?”

“With?” She spoke, her words slightly muffled as she held the cap of her black pen between her teeth, scribbling down onto her journal, eyebrows knit.

“I was thinking of asking Eunha out tomorrow. At the beach.”

Her heart stuttered in her chest. The words felt like a blow, knocking the wind out of her lungs, but she kept her expression neutral.

She blinked once, twice, processing what he’d said. Seungmin asking Eunha out. The very thought made her stomach twist into knots, and for a moment, she wasn’t sure if the ache in her chest was physical or emotional.

Probably both.

“Oh,” she finally managed to say, her voice more steady than she expected. “That’s... great.” She forced a smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

He didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he let out a small breath of relief.

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and... I don’t know. Tomorrow feels like the right time, you know?”

She nodded absentmindedly, her mind elsewhere. She was zoning out, slipping into that space where everything felt surreal, like she was watching a scene play out from a distance, detached.

Of course, it made sense. He had feelings for Eunha, everyone knew that, and she knew herself that one day he would ask her out, right? The way he looked at her, the way his attention always seemed to gravitate toward her whenever they were together.

“Right... tomorrow,” She echoed, her voice light, almost too casual.

Seungmin shifted closer to her, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “I’m not really sure how to ask, though. I mean, you’re better at this kind of thing than I am.”

The girl’s fingers stilled on the guitar strings, the last note lingering in the air before it dissolved into the soft hum of rain outside. She stared at Seungmin for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly behind her glasses as she processed what he had just said.

Seungmin, oblivious to the subtle change in her mood, shifted on her bed, his dark eyes scanning her face with an expectant look, waiting for some words of wisdom. "Come on," he prodded. "You've always been good at reading people. And you're honest. Just tell me what works and what doesn't."

The girl blinked, biting down on the inside of her cheek to keep from letting her real thoughts slip out.

Honest? You want honesty?

She sighed internally, glancing away from him, her heart tightening as if someone had tied a knot around it. She didn't need to think twice about why it bothered her—why the thought of him asking Eunha out made her stomach churn.

But instead of voicing the frustration bubbling beneath the surface, she offered him a deadpan, shifting gears into sarcasm to mask the internal turmoil.

“Seungmin,” she began, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose with her index finger, “I’ve rejected three guys and dated one only to break up with him in a week. I’m hardly a pro in romance here.”

Not to mention my agenda and immense love for unrequited love.

Seungmin chuckled awkwardly at her words, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, but maybe those rejections were, like, super graceful. Maybe they thought they were better off without you.”

She shook her head, stifling a laugh. “Sure. If by ‘graceful’ you mean brutally honest to the point of soul-crushing.”

“Oh, come on, Y/n,” Seungmin groaned, flopping back dramatically against her pillows, arms folded behind his head. “Okay, maybe you’ve not always been the most... tactful when it comes to feelings, but you’re a woman. Eunha’s a woman. You know what women like!”

Y/n blinked at him, her expression a mix of disbelief and amusement. She scrunched her nose at his fumbling attempt to appeal to her supposed “womanly wisdom,” but decided against commenting. There was no need to kick a puppy when it was already down.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Seungmin whined, covering his face with one hand. “I’m serious. I really, really like her, Y/n, and I swear I have no idea what to say without fumbling every word. You’re the only person I love and know who’s smart enough to help me not look like an idiot. Jisung is not helpful by the way.”

He met her gaze then, his eyes softening, and she felt the familiar sting in her chest.

“Please?”

Y/n sighed, closing her laptop with a soft click and finally turning to face him fully. “You’re cheesy as fuck.”

He grinned, grateful for her surrender. “So? What would your ideal proposal be?”

She stared at him, her lips twisting into a wry smile.

She sighed deeply, glancing away from his eager gaze. The question hung in the air, and she wrestled with the urge to give an honest answer, one that would reveal far more than she was ready to admit. She swallowed hard, pushing her emotions back down where they belonged.

“I don’t know,” she spoke, her tone more casual now as she leaned back into the pile of pillows on her bed. “Maybe something simple. People overthink this kind of thing.”

He watched her intently, his brows knitting together as he waited for her to elaborate. “Simple?” he asked, as if the concept was foreign to him.

“Yeah, like…” She paused, staring at the ceiling as she thought. “You know, no big speeches or anything. Just… be honest. Be yourself. You’re not bad with words when you’re not trying so hard.”

He chuckled, his expression softening. “You think so?”

She nodded, smiling faintly. “Yeah. You tend to overcomplicate things when you get nervous. Just keep it real.”

Seungmin’s lips twitched into a frown, “Are you sure?”

“I mean, you asked me for my advice, Romeo. I’m no love guru, don’t come crying to me if she rejects you.” She deadpanned.

Seungmin rolled his eyes, his tone turning mockingly dramatic. “Hey, don’t give me the ‘just be yourself’ line. I need specifics! Should I bring her flowers? Maybe a pick-up line? What’s the game plan?”

The girl groaned theatrically, leaning back against her headboard, her guitar resting beside her. “You’ve been watching too many rom-coms, Min.”

She sighed, “This isn’t a drama. You don’t need a ‘game plan.’ Just… talk to her. You’ve known her for, what, a year and a half now? You’ve already got the foundation. Just build on that.”

Seungmin looked thoughtful for a moment, his brow furrowing slightly. "But what if I say the wrong thing? What if I—"

“–What if she morphs into a werewolf and eats you alive mid-sentence?” she interrupted, deadpanning.

"I'm serious!"

“I am too. You’re overthinking this, as usual. Just tell her what you feel—straightforward, no fluff. Trust me, she seems like the type who’ll appreciate that more than some grand gesture.”

He looked at her, his expression softening. “You really think so?”

Her heart gave a painful lurch, but she ignored it, nodding. “Yeah. I think she’d appreciate you being honest with her. No pretence. No gimmicks.”

“Or you could try serenading her, by maybe one of your own songs or– any song of an artist she likes?”

The room fell into a brief silence, save for the soft pitter-patter of the rain outside and the faint buzz of her amplifier. Her gaze drifted to the window, where droplets of rain clung to the glass, streaking downward in winding paths. She found herself wishing, absurdly, that she could melt away into the rain—disappear, if only for a moment, to escape the conversation she wasn’t quite sure she could handle.

“Wait, you’re a genius!”

Seungmin sat up, ruffling the girl’s hair. “I’ll sing and play one of my songs during the campfire at the beach tomorrow, then ask her out when we’re alone!”

She briefly nodded, her gaze shifting to her guitar.

“Okay,” he said after a long pause, his voice steady now. “I’ll do it. Tomorrow. I’ll ask her.”

She forced a smile, her chest tightening once more. “Great! You’ll do fine. Get out now.”

He flashed her a grateful grin, his whole face lighting up in that way that used to make her smile back reflexively—but now, it only served as a reminder of everything she couldn’t say. "Thanks, Y/nnie. You always know what to say."

“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered, picking her guitar back up and absentmindedly plucking at the strings again.

She nodded, her focus turning back to the guitar, fingers gliding over the strings. Seungmin watched her for a moment, the soft strumming of the guitar filling the silence between them.

“I don’t get how you do it, you know,” he mused, his voice quieter now, more contemplative. “You’re always so... put together.”

“Didn’t I tell you to get out?”

“Hey, no, I know, just–” His hand went through his hair, as he continued.

“You just seem... unaffected by everything. Like, no matter what’s happening, you’re always calm. Always in control.”

She swallowed, keeping her gaze fixed on the guitar. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m just good at hiding the cracks.”

There was a pause. “We all have cracks, don’t we?”

She shrugged, her voice carefully casual. “Maybe. But some of us are better at covering them up than others.”

He didn’t respond, but she could feel his eyes on her, studying her in that quiet, observant way he sometimes did when he was thinking about something important. She kept strumming the guitar, letting the music drown out the unspoken tension that hung between them like a thick cloud.

“Y/nnie,” he said suddenly, his voice softer than before, “I appreciate you, you know that?”

She glanced at him, caught off guard by the sincerity in his tone. “Of course,” she replied lightly, masking the flutter in her chest with a small smile. “Who else would put up with you?”

He chuckled, but there was a gentleness in his gaze that made her stomach flip. “I’m serious. You’re always there for me. Even when I don’t deserve it.”

He smiled, standing up, ruffling her hair once again, before waving his hand and leaving her room with a quick good night.

She felt the weight of his words settling into the space that the two once shared, and for a brief, fleeting moment, she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like if things were different—if the words he had spoken weren’t for someone else.

But reality, as always, came crashing back down, and she pushed the thought away with a quiet sigh.

“Like I said,” she murmured, her eyes fixed on the strings, “I’m good at covering the cracks, even when they’re not mine.”

The rain continued to fall outside, a steady rhythm against the window, as the girl continued to just.. continue, to exist.

a/n. ୨ৎ

CHP FOURRR :] love this chp a lot not too motivated to write a lot for now (personal things, relationships and family) 😭😭😭 will be posting my drafts for a while, hope u guys understand :< ALSO WE'RE AT 98 FOLLOWERS?? omg thank u sm u guys :((((( i swear ill be posting to celebrate the 100 followers !!!! u guys thank u smsmsmsmsmsmsmsmsm muah i love yall :( if u liked this lmk by commenting or liking <3 check out my post-schedule/masterlist/taglists/etc right here ! thank you for reading >< !! — love, yani ♥︎

thank you to @bernardsbendystraws , @adornedwithlight , @littleraesparkle @saturno-web , @anitalenia for the dividers + mdb!

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