#service areas

[redrook]

I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do

the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)

now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.

and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.

and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.

I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.

eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.

but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.

so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.

and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.

the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.

all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.

and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.

I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.

again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.

so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.

[zonarestorationusa]

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[amicipoolstore]

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[everclearpoolservice]

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[frodo-a-gogo]

Let us be brutally honest with ourselves and with eachother for a moment. If he weren't obese you motherfuckers would be capable of percieving evrart claires sexy sexy moral ambiguity and complex charms

[calciumyum]

Blindsided fan comic

Read Blindsided on AO3 NOW!!! AU written by @driflew and @cherrifire :]

[marzipanandminutiae]

I open Queer Exchange Boston

someone is arguing that it's ableist to be opposed to tesla because they can't drive without the self-driving feature, and "[their] doctor literally prescribed [them] a tesla" due to their driving anxiety and inability to walk long distances

I close Queer Exchange Boston

[emaadsidiki]

Fujisan 🗻🌿

[zenathezee]

I don't understand why everyone was so surprised Brennan and Katie studied without knowing they'd be doing it all again. If you just badly failed naming a basic thing on a competitive TV show, of course you'd go home and look up all the fucking pasta shapes you completely blanked on

[ickydollsis]

Google how to find trans women in my area I can serve as a doll. Google? Google can you hear me?? THEY NEED ME! I NEED TO MAKE THEM FEEL AMAZING. Please Google don't let me let down the pretty ladies. Their gocks and pretty holes need taking care of! And I need to suck on their tits. For stars sake I need some titty in my mouth. I'm having withdrawals.

[lucabyte]

my order of the art book has been delayed because the system thought my house address was incomplete........ every american storefront hates me so bad for living a house with a name instead of a number..................

[nordsea-horizons]

first little new build on nixie 2.0 is done! a green fairy city for winter escapism🧚🏻🌱✨

[lovelylittlegrim]

Stobin headcanon that after everything both Steve and Robin go into law enforcement and become a pretty solid detective partnership. They have a really high close rate for all their cases because they’re stubborn and smart and they’ve seen some shit ™️

The only problem is that they like to do the whole good cop & Bad cop shtick during interrogations except they always forget who is supposed to be playing what role and they’re just both bad cop more often than not and now the suspect is crying (they always make the suspects cry because steve has a mean girl attitude and Robin just likes the drama of slamming her hands on the table)

And their poor chief is in the background with a headache, on the phone BEGGING hopper to take them back. And hopper has zero sympathy. He gave them a glowing recommendation for a reason. They’re good kids and great detectives but they give him ulcers.