#serotonin is stored in the himbo

[phantomhydeoftheopera]

Here’s the last thing I wrote/had time for for SangJian week!  This was the first prompt that I actually started planning for, so here it is!

Side note: In case you don’t know or forgot, the vest mentioned in this fic is this one that Waer wore in Reunion.  It is awful but I love it.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

The Thrilling Saga of Connie paying real life money for the Worst Sonic TV Show

Let’s begin with the simple fact that me and my sister, @birdsareblooming​ “Cori”, have both been hyperfixating on Sonic the Hedgehog since last March. During this hyperfixation, I was on Sonic Wiki to copy-paste song lyrics onto my stolen mp3s, and I called my sister in and pointed at the template at the bottom. 

“What is this Sonic Underground thing?” I asked. “It has one shit billion songs.” 

So we clicked on the page to read about it, and each sentence we read was a punch in the gut and this quickly became the funniest thing we’d ever read. Highlights include:

It looks like this:

“Sonic[...] is known to be a prince” 

Sonic has two siblings who actually have good characterization but their names are literally just Sonia and Manic. Like. Sonic split into two names. jesus christ 

Also Sonic and his siblings all share a voice actor. honestly Jaleel White does his best with it but 

“The three siblings possess enchanted medallions that transform not only into musical instruments, but also into weapons.”

“Some fans consider Sonia to be a clone of Amy Rose, minus the attraction Amy feels for Sonic.” YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES

“Manic is the most often captured of the siblings” himbo king 

Knuckles shows up, and for the first, like, two sentences his description is very similar to the game, and then you get immediately pulverized by “He has a pet Dinosaur called Chomps.”

Literally so many sentences on Sonic Wiki are lowkey salty about this show. The page features lines such as “Sonic Underground bears little relation to the often complex Sonic universe (including previous animated series, as well as Sonic comics and games), and shares only three established characters” and “many of the characters in the Freedom Fighter group that were in Sonic the Hedgehog are completely left out (including Tails).”

“The show met with mostly negative reviews.”

*checks air dates* It only lasted two goddamn months

So after seeing this we thought it was the funniest thing and we showed our older sister, @patema-introverted​ “North.” To our surprise, our at the time “knew nothing about this sonic bullshit” sister recognized the show. Turns out she’d seen trailers for it as a child and that was her sole exposure to Sonic canon. 

We were in quarantine at the time, so we ended up finding it on YouTube and binge-watching it all together as a sibling bonding activity. It was just as hilarious as we thought it would be- some stuff was legitimately good, like the sibling dialogue for instance, but good lord were the character designs ugly, the plot all over the place, and pretty much every song, um, not great. Also there was one episode that we skipped because it got, um, I think “stereotypical” is the nicest word I can use here. 

But the point is, we had a jolly good time watching it, and afterwards we binged all the other Sonic shows and bonded as a family. 

After quarantine, North and I go back to college. My roommate gets groceries at Walmart, while I get them elsewhere, so while she and North collect food I wander the DVD aisle to look at the cool movies and also dumpster-dive in the bargain bin for Cats (2019). I am also short as fuck, so the top shelf of movies I cannot see, I can only read the labels. 

So one day I was browsing the DVDs, and glancing over at the labels for the top shelf. I read over the final one before the shelves end. 

And then I stop, do a double take, and have a heart attack, because there is a label that reads “SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74″

I immediately climb the shelf but there aren’t any DVDs atop the shelf. However, the label is still there. I excitedly tell my sister and roommates, freak out with them a bit, and then give myself a mission statement:

I will buy the $4 Sonic Underground DVD from Walmart

I did not want it as a gift, I did not want to find it online. I wanted to walk into a store, pick up the Worst Sonic Show on DVD, walk it straight to the checkout, and in front of the cashier and God, pay for it with my own money. I did not care if it was the whole series or two episodes; I needed to do this for my own serotonin.

We would go to Walmart about once a week. Every time, I would go to the DVD aisle, and go right to the end of the shelves. I would stare at the label SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74 and empty space above it and wonder who the fuck was buying this other than me. I would occasionally ask employees if they had any copies in storage. I would build a shrine to Manic in my room. Okay, no I didn’t, but only because my RA would have murdered me. 

Christmas break comes, and we have to go home. We have a nice Christmas, and Cori and I infodump at each other about how we would make Sonic Underground a good show (note: we’re both galaxy braining) and also play Bendy and the Ink Machine. Fun times. 

When we finally get back to College, it’s late January- long story short we have a very long winter break. My roommate who gets food at Walmart got food without us the first week cause she showed up first, so we take her out to Walmart the first time in the year of our lord 2021 on January 29. 

I wander the Valentine’s aisle, immediately grabbing a sequin puppy. I go to the DVDs and see Animaniacs Season One, also grab that. 

And then.

There it is.

The Holy Grail. 

Above the label SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74, is one DVD left. 

Already I am losing my mind. It’s roughly seven hours of episodes- I couldn’t find an episode list, but I think that’s half the show, for $4! And the cover is amazing. 

That’s a png of Sonic from Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) with a medallion badly photoshopped over it. The medallion is too small. 

Manic is shoved into the corner. He doesn’t have his medallion at all. 

Sonia isn’t even pictured on the front cover, probably because they realized she was the worst designed of the bunch. I’m not ragging on her though, because she’s still one of the better designed characters of the show. Those background characters make me cry 

So you bet your ass I finally paid my hard-earned $4 for this shit. Upon getting home, I discovered that there was even wilder shit with this DVD than I thought. 

For starters: the bonus features listed are as follows:

Original Concept Art - did not expect that these character designs were the final draft

Storyboard-to-screen - did not expect they bothered to storyboard this 

Music Video Jukebox - that’s cute, they thought we liked the music 

Interviews with original screenwriter & executive producer - I fully expect the only questions to be “why.” 

On the left of this list are screenshots from the show, where people can finally see Sonia, who we Know™ is a girl because she is pink and has hair and also an actual body shape instead of just circles like her brothers. 

But wait... what’s that in the lefthand corner? 

That looks like some kind of robot. But it’s not a robot from Sonic Underground! That didn’t appear once. Why is it here? 

The mystery continues upon opening the DVD case: inside are advertisements for other collections, including other Sonic DVDs: two volumes of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) and the final episodes of Sonic the Hedgehog “SatAM” (1993)

First of all, the first volume of AOSTH has the exact same PNG of Sonic as the Underground Volume 1. Not even trying to hide it. But second... the second volume of AOSTH also has this robot on its cover. 

And THIS ROBOT IS ALSO DECORATING THE THIRD DISC IN THE SET?

So you may be asking, who is this robot? Is it from AOSTH or Underground?

IT’S FROM FUCKING SATAM. The one show that doesn’t have it decorating the DVD covers.

Also, not only is it from SatAM, it only appears in one fucking episode. Not a major character! AND IT HAS A DIFFERENT DESIGN ON THE PROMO ART, WITH HAIR AND FANGS.

Why is it showing up everywhere? What is going on? 

I have not yet had the opportunity to watch this glorious piece of animation, but I am so glad at the confusion I have felt upon receiving it. 

But before I go, I must share with you the best part of this DVD purchase. And it was flipping to the back, scanning the details, and discovering the exact runtime of the episode collection. 

Guys, gals, and enby pals, friends and enemies, Nintendo and Sega, the first Volume of Sonic Underground has a runtime of...

420 MINUTES.

Maybe I’m wrong and this IS the best Sonic show. 

[rodeoxqueen]

Keeping Up With A Himbo: V (I)- Melatonin? Melanin? 

Series Summary: A series of domestically fluffy snippets where the s/o of a Sparda learns just how much of a himbo their lover is.

Work Summary: A riveting tale in which V gives you serotonin by confusing melatonin for melanin. 

Tags/Warnings: Gender-Neutral! S/O, Medical Inaccuracies, V Is Stupid Too, Maybe Rodeo Made Him Too Stupid, Heatwaves, Domestic Fluff, Comedy, Grocery Store Runs

V was not great with excess sunshine and heat. However, it was the summer and that was all there was. Strolls became unbearable as he would rather sleep in with you and wound up waking at the most sweltering temperature. 

You were fine with it, opting to wear things that left more skin showing. Tantalizing as it was, it was harder to appreciate when he himself practically boiled in the leather he was used to wearing. He sadly gave up his usual garb for shorts and tank tops, his favorite sandals replaced as well. 

It was the end of the week, meaning you would have to restock your shared apartment’s rations of food and supplies. You grabbed your wallet and keys, sliding on a pair of shoes. Sunglasses in hand, you called out for your boyfriend. 

“V, if you don’t want to go, I can go myself.” He sighed, grabbing his cane and walking out the door with you.

“You know that won’t do.” 

Redgrave was beautiful during the summer. With the clear sky and warm weather, it was as if this place didn’t actually crawl with demons. 

While you basked in the sun, feeling the heat seep into your skin and radiate outwards, V wished for an iceberg to fall on him. 

It was HOT. He insisted on wearing black and he paid for it every time. It was as if the sun had parked herself right on top of him and he already knew he was turning pink. 

Tousling his hair, he groaned at how hot the top of his head was. The two of you had just started on your walk and the concrete had been waiting, heatwaves practically jumping off the surface. At least you were happy. 

“V? V? Are you okay?” He snapped out of his stupor, tilting his head to greet your inquiry. 

“Yes? Forgive me, it’s a bit warm.” You laughed at your grumpy poet. 

“Yeah, a little. I’ll be sure to get some sunscreen for you.” 

“Please do. I’d hate to repeat last time.” 

“Oh yeah, I remember! You burned so bad at the beach.” V shivered despite the weather. He had decided to partake of the beach with the rest of the devil hunters and Nico. Your bathing suit was so enticing on your frame yet he could never forget how his skin peeled off from the unforgiving sun. 

“Maybe you don’t produce a lot of melanin. Y’know, the stuff in your skin that absorbs the sun’s rays.” You explained, finally stepping foot into an air-conditioned grocery store. 

V sighed, pink skin cooled before he could burn anymore. 

“Perhaps.” A grocery cart in hand, you trekked about the store with V. 

Through the produce section, V grabbed a few apples while you inspected a head of lettuce. V noted you bought materials for hamburgers, his favorite. 

You went to grab some sunscreen afterward, knowing you’re going to need a lot for V. 

Meanwhile, V thought about what you said earlier. He stood next to you in the aisles, the shelf behind him full of multivitamins. A certain bottle caught his attention. 

What was it that protected human skin from the sun? It started with an M. Careful hands plucked the bottle from its place. Colorful with a picture of the moon and sun, he decided that these gummies were what he was looking for. 

“This might do.” He threw it in the cart with the sunscreen you found. 

V was putting the groceries on the conveyer belt when you decided you wanted ice cream and ran to the freezers. 

Luckily you returned quickly. The previous time you did a last-minute run, you were gone for too long and V had to stand there awkwardly in the perception of many pissed customers. 

In your hands, you held the cold delicacies that V predicted you would consume all of them in an hour and regret it. 

White grocery bags in hand, V walked right back outside. You had already gotten started on a popsicle, offering V several licks. 

When you got back home, V put the bags on the counter to find the sunscreen and medicated gummies. He swiftly placed them in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. 

Looking into the mirror, he mussed up his hair again. You had a spare hair tie on the sink which he used to tie his hair back. 

After dinner, V decided to eat some of the gummies. He took a generous amount. They were rather sweet with a slightly gritty texture. He wondered how long they would take to work, never wanting to sunburn ever again. 

Laying on the couch half an hour later, he found himself tired. Almost aggressively tired. He wasn’t even outside for that long, so he marked heatstroke off his list of what could have made him so exhausted. The book in his hands became the book on his face and he fell fast asleep. 

When he woke up, he felt groggy, his head weighted by wet cement. His back hurt with the precarious way he laid on the couch. 

You heard the sound of him waking up, a raspy groan leaving him while he stretched. 

“Good morning. I hope you weren’t too lonely without me last night.” He said. You looked over the kitchen counter with a grin. He coughed, his throat dry. 

“More like overmorrow.” He got up lazily, confused. He looked at his skin, noting no difference. Did the supplements work? 

“V...you slept for an entire day and a half. I didn’t want to bother you but I did have to check your pulse a few times. Had to make sure that you were still alive.” V walked into the bathroom, seeing a couch imprint on his face, half of his hair completely flat to his face. 

“Perhaps it’s just a side effect of those melanin supplements I got.” You snapped your head around from making breakfast, confused. 

“What.” He made his way into the kitchen. V ruffled his bed head, handing you the bottle. The cupboard was opened and closed, V chugging a glass of water. Leaning against the counter, he watched you examine the bottle in disbelief. 

“Sweetie-” You pointed to the melatonin medication. A rising sun with a cartoony smile and a sleeping moon was printed on the plastic surface. 

“Why did you take these?” 

“To have more melanin.” You turned around, and V found you with an expression that said “I want to scream like a pterodactyl for a moment.” 

“V, melanin is a pigment. Melatonin is a sleep medication. This is melatonin. Baby, you just ate half a jar of sleep gummies.” You emphasized the pronunciation of melanin and melatonin. 

V’s eyes went blank, just realizing his mistake. 

“Oh.” 

You didn’t stop laughing for an hour. He never heard the end of it. 

[phcking-detective]

MasterList 2.0

Kiss Prompt Series (all PG)

Angry Kiss – Gavin chases after a perp without backup and gets shot multiple times. He can’t believe his asshole android partner is staying behind to help him instead of catching the perp, but maybe RK900 cares more than he thinks. Maybe a lot more …

Reunion Kiss – Nines returns a day early from an intensive case and stops by Gavin’s favorite coffee shop to get his boyfriend a treat. But Gavin is already there and apparently has the same idea.

Awkward Forehead Kiss – Nines takes care of his sick human partner as best he can, but all human media seems to indicate sick humans need forehead kisses to feel better. Too bad he doesn’t know how to kiss. Luckily, Gavin is happy to help teach him.

Forced Kiss – Nines attempts to break up with Gavin for the detective’s own good. That goes about as well as you’d expect. (NO non-con! Gavin just kisses Nines in the middle of his mental breakdown while he tries to self-isolate.)

Drunk Kiss – Connor and Hank bring in a box of Sumo’s puppies to the precinct Christmas party. When two go missing, Nines tracks them down to find … Detective Reed? He did not realize his maladjusted human partner could be so gentle.

Forehead Kiss – human!Richard is having a bad mental health day and gloomily declares he needs serotonin. android!Gavin and himbo extraordinaire offers to go to the grocery store and get him some.

***

Extra Drabbles (all PG or Teen)

HOT SINGLE ANDROID IN YOUR AREA – Gavin keeps getting spam pop-ups on his computer about hot androids who want to fuck. Until he finally notices they’re now only talking about one single android in particular. Who could it be?

Dumb Ways to Deviate: Cheeseburger – Nines takes Gavin out to eat as a reward for solving a case they’ve been working on for the past 36 hours. When the exhausted human tries to feed him, Nines suddenly experiences–[feelings]??

crush.exe –Nines thinks Gavin is cute. But that’s just objective fact, right? Anyone would think he’s cute. Tina disagrees and diagnoses him with something called a “crush.”

INTRUDER ALERT – Nines visits Gavin’s apartment to discuss a case, but there is an [INTRUDER] wearing an ingenius chocolate scrub mask that confuses his facial recognition software.

Find Familiar -- Nines is the most brilliant wizard of their generation, and when they summon their familiar for the first time, they expect some sort of unique and brilliant creature. Not a short, angry little man with a facial scar and bare feet banging on their door three days later.

Bathtime -- Nines isn’t spoiled, and if he is, it’s only because Gavin keeps giving him everything he asks for. Like “help” washing his hair in the bath.

Love Letter -- Gavin receives an anonymous letter detailing how the sender wants to analyze his skin and catalog his teeth. The two suspects? Well, it was obviously either written by Detroit’s latest serial killer or ... Gavin’s own partner.

Not Alone -- After Gavin gets shot in the side, falls off a building, and breaks two of his limbs, Nines is desperate to see him the moment he's out of surgery. Except the hospital he's at has a "legal family members only" visitation policy to keep out androids. In desperation, Nines calls a very old emergency contact number that lists "Eli Reed" as Gavin's brother--only to suddenly be on the phone with Elijah Kamski himself.

Happiness is a Jealous Android -- Gavin starts hanging out with a new GJ500 for smoke breaks, mutual bitching about work, and maybe a little light flirting. Him and Nines haven’t discussed the thing they have going, and Nines has been busy anyway, so a little flirting is OK, right? Except for when the other android won’t take no for an answer ...

Dumb Ways to Deviate: Birds -- An argument between RK900 and Gavin on whether bats are mammals or birds leads to ... well. What it says on the tin.

updated list of fics in my main reed900 series under the cut!

Reed900 Main Series (all Explicit)

In the Beginning -- 7k words; RK900 follows the orders [stay in room 6459] and [do not interfere] while deviants attack and shut down Cyberlife, and it’s not because he’s “petty” as the deviant Connor accuses. If Cyberlife wanted its help, they should not have forgotten the unit in a storage closet.

Fight Club (but Explicitly Gay This Time) – 2k words; RK900 decides to “discipline” Gavin in the DPD men’s bathroom by spanking and stepping on him. Unfortunately, the disgusting little human actually enjoys it.

Fast and Furious – 5.5k words; Nines notices how competent Gavin is at driving. In fact, he’s noticing a lot about Gavin, which is unfortunate, because he doesn’t know what it means. Maybe slapping the human more will help …

Ain’t Got Time to Bleed – 27k words; Gavin and Nines engage in exciting new activities, like solving a case together, going out for drinks, hustling at pool. Specifically, Nines gets hustled by Gavin, but he pays it back tenfold in the alleyway afterward.

First Blood – 129k words; Gavin and Nines get caught up in a case that’s a lot more complicated than it seems as they run into a Ponzi scheme and a staged suicide, an attempted murder on the journalist who broke the story, and a mysterious android manipulating it all. Even worse, they’re starting to actually kind of like each other too. But will their partnership be strong enough to get them through kidnapping, torture, and safe / sane / consensual sex?

If It Bleeds -- 14k, ongoing; While dealing with the fallout of the WJ700 case, Gavin and Nines also get assigned to the new Android Task Force when they start investigating on their own anyway. But their cases get more complicated as both the IA and FBI hold a grudge, Nines makes new sexual explorations of his own, and Gavin’s ex-boyfriend attempts to reconnect …

***

Bonus HankCon Fic (Explicit)

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This – 66k; Connor determines co-sleeping with Hank will be a productive, healthy venture–and step one on his three year plan to seduce Hank. Unfortunately for him, Hank is a gay, self-destructive old man who manages to fuck up The Plan by both already being in love with him and also refusing to acknowledge that. (75% domestic fluff, 24% sex at the end, 1% Sumo eating food he’s not supposed to)

***

Patreon (shameless promotion)

If you love my reed900 series and want to get chapters sooner, like my drabbles and want patreon-exclusive bonus content, and chapters from THREE of my WIPS, the tiers are $1 / $2 / $3 per chapter, respectively. I post chapters once a week on Sunday ^^

I also take commissions: $10 for 1k / $25 for 3k / $40 for 5k, NSFW and kink friendly, limits are no incest, pedophilia, or rape scenes. just PM me or email arthurofcamelot4@gmail.com if you’re interested ^^

[fredgolds]

serotonin is stored in the himbo ttrpg pc

[psychic-waffles]

i was cleaning up my screenshots folder and wow i really just think that waer

[phcking-detective]

Masterlist of My Writing

Kiss Prompt Series (all PG)

Angry Kiss – Gavin chases after a perp without backup and gets shot multiple times. He can't believe his asshole android partner is staying behind to help him instead of catching the perp, but maybe RK900 cares more than he thinks. Maybe a lot more …

Reunion Kiss – Nines returns a day early from an intensive case and stops by Gavin's favorite coffee shop to get his boyfriend a treat. But Gavin is already there and apparently has the same idea.

Awkward Forehead Kiss – Nines takes care of his sick human partner as best he can, but all human media seems to indicate sick humans need forehead kisses to feel better. Too bad he doesn't know how to kiss. Luckily, Gavin is happy to help teach him.

Forced Kiss – Nines attempts to break up with Gavin for the detective's own good. That goes about as well as you'd expect. (NO non-con! Gavin just kisses Nines in the middle of his mental breakdown while he tries to self-isolate.)

Drunk Kiss – Connor and Hank bring in a box of Sumo's puppies to the precinct Christmas party. When two go missing, Nines tracks them down to find … Detective Reed? He did not realize his maladjusted human partner could be so gentle.

Forehead Kiss – human!Richard is having a bad mental health day and gloomily declares he needs serotonin. android!Gavin and himbo extraordinaire offers to go to the grocery store and get him some.

***

Reed900 Main Series (all Explicit)

Fight Club (but Explicitly Gay This Time) – 2k words; RK900 decides to "discipline" Gavin in the DPD men's bathroom by spanking and stepping on him. Unfortunately, the disgusting little human actually enjoys it.

Fast and Furious – 5.5k words; Nines notices how competent Gavin is at driving. In fact, he's noticing a lot about Gavin, which is unfortunate, because he doesn't know what it means. Maybe slapping the human more will help …

Ain't Got Time to Bleed – 27k words; Gavin and Nines engage in exciting new activities, like solving a case together, going out for drinks, hustling at pool. Specifically, Nines gets hustled by Gavin, but he pays it back tenfold in the alleyway afterward.

First Blood – 77k words, ongoing; Gavin and Nines get caught up in a case that's a lot more complicated than it seems as they run into a Ponzi scheme and a staged suicide, an attempted murder on the journalist who broke the story, and a mysterious android manipulating it all. Even worse, they're starting to actually kind of like each other too. But will their partnership be strong enough to get them through kidnapping, torture, and safe / sane / consensual sex?

***

Extra Drabbles (all PG or Teen)

HOT SINGLE ANDROID IN YOUR AREA – Gavin keeps getting spam pop-ups on his computer about hot androids who want to fuck. Until he finally notices they're now only talking about one single android in particular. Who could it be?

Dumb Ways to Deviate: Cheeseburger – Nines takes Gavin out to eat as a reward for solving a case they've been working on for the past 36 hours. When the exhausted human tries to feed him, Nines suddenly experiences--[feelings]??

crush.exe – Nines thinks Gavin is cute. But that's just objective fact, right? Anyone would think he's cute. Tina disagrees and diagnoses him with something called a "crush."

INTRUDER ALERT – Nines visits Gavin's apartment to discuss a case, but there is an [INTRUDER] wearing an ingenius chocolate scrub mask that confuses his facial recognition software.

***

Bonus HankCon Fic (Explicit)

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This – 66k; Connor determines co-sleeping with Hank will be a productive, healthy venture--and step one on his three year plan to seduce Hank. Unfortunately for him, Hank is a gay, self-destructive old man who manages to fuck up The Plan by both already being in love with him and also refusing to acknowledge that. (75% domestic fluff, 24% sex at the end, 1% Sumo eating food he’s not supposed to)

***

Patreon (shameless promotion)

For if you love my reed900 series and want to get chapters sooner, like my drabbles and want patreon-exclusive bonus content, or you’re interested in TWO patreon-exclusive reed900 AUs (human!Richard x android!GV200 / omega!Gavin x alpha!Nines). Those are the three tiers, and they’re $1 / $2 / $3 per chapter, respectively. I post chapters once a week on Sunday ^^

The patreon helps pay for my HRT and related doctor’s appointments, so please consider checking it out! The rewards also stack, so the $2 tier gets you a chapter from First Blood one week early, plus some bonus content. The $3 tier is an early chapter, bonus content, and an AU chapter all together.