#seriously though quitting my job to become a comedian lessssssgo
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I saw a sign at the train station saying to not feed the birds because if they're fed, they'll be more likely to be hit by a train
And I just.... I mean....
#but it doesn't make sense#maybe i need to read it more closely#but like are well fed birds more heavier... or maybe the food gives them more energy to fly so they're flying in front of the trains????#the hungry birds are just skeletal things dragging their bony carcass along the platform#poor things are just praying there'll be a toddler spilling its hot chips so that the bird can feast and fly in front of a train#or going back to the heavier thing - like maybe the extra food weighs down and they're on the tracks and can't move fast enough???#like maybe they've got autopsies on these dead birds that trains keep hitting and found out they're all full of food#'this one has half a donut and a few muffin crumbs in it!!!!!!'#maybe we humans are just feeding them the wrong food#instead don't feed the birds what about a list of foods they can and can't eat to make them fly better????#like no donuts but the dregs of your hydralite will do nicely#anyway come see my show at the MICF where i discuss this in more detail#I'll be in the attic of whichever is the most decrepit building in Melbourne#Just me and a few pigeons#seriously though quitting my job to become a comedian lessssssgo#if my boss rings all panicked and talking fast about wanting an appointment changed one more time.......#LIKE SHE TALKS SO FAST AND SHE'S ALL PANICKY I CAN'T DEAL WITH IF THE RECEPTIONIST DOESN'T COME BACK I'LL DIE
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