#seriously though how does alex winter look so pretty ???

[partial-prints]

BILL ! ! ! 🩵🩵🩵

I just rewatched bill and ted and I felt inspired to draw him and his big beautiful eyes (seriously, they’re gorgeous!)

This was originally meant to just be a sketch to practice drawing faces, but I got a little carried away and loved how it turned out so I guess I’ll share it

[mattybstqrn]

𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐈.𝐆

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝, 𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚢𝚜, 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐

Female Reader x Isaac Garcia

Y/n, Grace, Skylar, and the not-so-new girl, Jackie all sat in the library as the four of them studied, a few weeks/months (idk) ago Jackie Howard's parents and sister sadly passed away in a car accident which was the whole cause of her move to Colorado, Y/n, Grace, and Skylar met the girl on the first day and all immediately decided to go out for ice cream once Jackie had realized that Cole, the hottest guy in school left her at school and drove him and his brothers home.

The four had been best friends since.

Y/n sat in her chair as she struggled with an algebra question and she was about to ask Jackie for some help since Jackie is like a genius but instead, Jackie spoke, "So, tell me about this bonfire thing, I heard it's kind of a big deal here,"

"Okay try a huge deal," Grace whispered trying to contain her excitement since they were in the library, "Seriously," Skylar and I agreed, "You're going with, Alex, right?" Grace asked, "Yeah," Jackie nodded.

"Do you think you guys are gonna...?" Grace asked as we all smiled and laughed and raised our eyebrows in question, Jackie looked confused though, so I added in, "You know..." to which she responded, "What? no. no. why would you think that?"

"It's basically what everyone does, they hook up," I replied, "Like everyone," Skylar added, "Yeah it's like a thing," Grace nodded in agreement, "Well, no, not us, we're not there yet like we're not even close to it," Jackie decided shaking her head.

Grace, Skylar, and I looked at each other trying to hold back our laughs before bursting into laughter, "What?" Jackie questioned, "Yeah right," Skylar muttered, "Are you sure about that?" Grace asked trying not to laugh, "You guys do seem pretty close," Skylar and I added causing us to high-five underneath the table as he played with his pencil.

"Yeah, and if that's how you are in public... in private... okay," Grace trailed off as Skylar and I laughed, "Okay Alex has got to chill on the PDA," Jackie sighed, "Are you not into it? because if you're not--" Skylar asked, "No, no, it's-it just feels a little extra,"

"Right? in public?" Jackie questioned, "Way public," "Yeah" Grace and Skylar muttered in agreement, "He was not like this at all over winter break or when we're at home,"

"Really? Cause he wasn't like this with Paige either," Grace said in shock as I tried to work on my algebra problem, "I've never seen Alex like this," Skylar chimed in, "Wait what? Alex and Paige used to date?" Jackie asked in shock.

"Yeah, you didn't know that I'm pretty sure she was Alex's first," I chimed in, Jackie turned to look at Paige who sat across from us before turning back to me with a very shocked look, "Girlfriend! his first girlfriend!" Skylar exclaimed.

As the three talked I tried to work on my algebra problem, but I could not focus so I told them that I'd see them later before grabbing my bags and walking in the halfway.

While walking through the hallway Y/n accidentally bumped into another student dropping her books, "oh Dios mío, lo siento mucho" I spoke letting my Spanish side slip out as I bent down to pick up my books, "Mira a dónde vas... quiero decir que lo siento," the voice spoke, I recognized the voice in Spanish and in English, I looked up to see Isaac and Lee, who stood off to the side.

"Oh, hey Isaac, and Lee, sorry about that," I apologized to Isaac as I picked up my books with his help, "It's okay, you good?" Isaac asked as he handed me the rest of my books, "Thanks,"

"Yeah, no problem," he said as he helped me stand up, "Isaac, let's go," Lee rushed, "I'm coming,"

"I'll see you at the bonfire?" I questioned before he could leave, "Yes, you will," he replied with a cheeky smile, I sent him back a smile before we both walked away, leaving me smiling the rest of the day. Was he flirting with me? I asked myself.

A few days later the bonfire arrived Y/n was excited to play games and talk to her friends, Isaac especially, she had been thinking about him flirting with her and he had been thinking about it too, he knew he made her fold and if he didn't, he would be very surprised.

Y/n arrived a little later than she planned but now that she was here, she couldn't wait to see her friends and play her favorite game, beer pong.

Y/n walked over to Grace and Skylar and the three of them talked and laughed until Isaac came over, with Nathan following behind him, Skylar awkwardly moved over not wanting to be near him for some reason, I looked at the two confused before they spoke, "Hi,"

"Hi,"

"You care if we join you?" Isaac asked as we confusingly looked around, "Sure," I shrugged before dragging both Grace and Skylar with me as I went to grab another drink with Isaac and Nathan following behind us.

"Do you need some help?" Isaac asked as I struggled to do anything because of my stupid gloves, "No, it's just my stupid gloves are so big, I can't do anything with them on," I groaned as I took them off and threw them on the ground.

"Okay then,"

The two of them walked back over to Grace, Nathan, Skylar, and now Kiley who asked, "Who wants to play beer pong?" "Definitely me," Grace immediately responded going over to Kiley, "Me too," I agreed before turning to Isaac, "How's your aim?" "How's perfect?" I smiled at him before grabbing his hand and dragging him along with me to play.

Isaac and I played beer pong and let's just say his aim was in fact perfect, "Oh wow, what happened to having "perfect aim"?" I teased, "I know, I know, I'm just warming up," he said, "Mmm sure," I sarcastically nodded.

The two continued to play and then it was the final shot, all Y/n had to do was make it in and they won. Y/n shakily picked up the ball trying to perfect her aim before throwing the ball into the cup, she did it, and she won.

"Oh my god!" I excitedly said lifting my arms up in the air in victory before jumping into Isaac's arms, he spun me around before placing me on the floor, and the two of us just looked into each other's eyes, "I'm so happy right now I could..." I trailed off not knowing what to say.

"Could what?"

"I could kiss you," I breathed out with a small smile looking at him with pure lust, "So why don't you?" he asked with a smirk as I nervously bit my lip, "Maybe later," I shrugged as I started to walk away, "I'll be looking forward to it," he called out after me.

"So will I," I muttered to myself as I continued to walk away.

A little while later a fight broke out between Alex and Cole, turned out that Cole wasn't only hooking up with rando's he was also hooking up with Erin's best friend, Olivia. Danny and Cole left but Isaac stayed to keep Y/n company.

"So, what do we do now?" I asked him as I got yet another drink, "How about that kiss?" he suggested, "Why don't we go somewhere else?" I offered, "Lead the way," I grabbed my drink with one hand and interlocked our hands with the other as I led him over to where Jackie and Alex stood earlier.

The two placed a blanket down and sat down as people started leaving, "Thank god, I bought this blanket,"

"Yeah," he nodded, "So about that kiss?"

"What about it?" I asked, "Do I get one or...?" he asked, "You can have one, but I want to ask you something first," I replied, "Shoot," "Do you have a girlfriend?" Isaac looked at me with a smirk before asking, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Why do you wanna know?" I questioned tilting my head to the side in amusement, "Just wondering," he shrugged, I slowly leaned in slightly placing my lips on his before responding, "No I don't have a boyfriend, do you have a girlfriend?" I asked again, "No,"

"Good,"

Y/n then kissed Isaac and he immediately kissed back, the two had kissed people but it never felt like this, they were falling in love, Y/n especially, she's usually not the type to let a guy ask her out, she always does the asking but for Isaac, she didn't mind.

Usually, girls are chasing after him and he liked it, but he knew Y/n was not one of those girls and he didn't mind chasing her.

The two sat there making out as people left. "Y/n!" I heard a loud yell from across the beach, it was Grace who was running over to Isaac and I with Skylar who followed behind us, "Oh hey Isaac, we're going to get some food, you wanna come?" Grace asked, I looked at Isaac wanted to finish what we started before answering, "No were good, maybe next time,"

"Okay, well see you tomorrow and be careful," Grace gave me a knowing look and smirk before waving goodbye as Skylar followed her. "Where were we?" Isaac cockily asked, I rolled my eyes before bringing my lips back to his as I bought my hand to cup his cheek.

The two sat on the blanket slightly rolling around as they continued to make out, Y/n didn't want to take it too far if he wasn't ready considering she was a year older than him and had done it multiple times, but she was pretty sure he had never done it and she didn't want to go too far.

Isaac kissed down Y/n's neck as she wrapped her arms around his neck trying to contain herself, "Isaac," she called as he went to take off his shirt, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Uh, yeah," he responded nodding his head as he continued to take off his shirt and pants, Y/n looked at him before also taking off her clothes....

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

#MountainLife

Summary: When a typical winter storm sends her car into a snowbank, Y/n finds herself face to face with her favorite actor. Will Jensen be able to dig her out or will the day have other plans for them?

Pairing: None, purely platonic

Word Count: 2.7K+

Warnings: Language, very minor car accident (no injuries)

Author's Note: Single-digit temperatures, lots of snow, and one wily Brit (@winchest09) gave me the idea for this mess. Also, Jensen in those damn sweats didn't help either. But in all honesty, I don't think I've been warm for three weeks. This helped make me smile through the shivering and I hope it does the same for you. xoxo Alex

Check out Alexandra's Library for more works by yours truly!

The chill that had settled in her room overnight roused the woman before her alarm had the chance. Y/n tucked herself further into the heavy blankets that she adorns her bed with every winter, but it was no use. The cold had successfully awoken her for the day, and not even the pocket of heat her body had created under the mountain of cotton could protect her now. 

With a huff, she climbed from the fraction of warmth her bed provided and slipped on her heavy robe. Her feet shuffled as she made her way to the large bay window on the south side of her bedroom and tugged open the curtains. The expanse of her backyard and the woods that lay just beyond was blanketed in a thick layer of snow, large snowflakes continuing to fall as she observed the scene in front of her. Y/n smiled at the undisturbed white that shone brightly against the beginnings of the early morning sunshine, her tired eyes trailing to the back porch and the pile of snow that rested against the beams. From the sight, she could guess they had accumulated a foot so far, a little less than the evening news had predicted. 

Since she was young, she had always had a loved winter and the unique beauty and serenity that heavy snow would bring. Some of her best memories were playing in the snow all day only to come home, chilled to the bone and pink in her cheeks, to a piping hot mug of cocoa. But as she grew older, that love had turned a tad sour when snow days turned into digging her car out and stressing the whole drive to work about the idiots on the road who act as if they have never seen snow before. She still basked in its wonder and beauty, but she hated having responsibilities that forced her to deal with its less than fun side. 

Considering where she was located, the woman knew she would need to give herself extra time to get to work this morning, seeing as her drive and the main road would not be plowed by the city. Even though she had woken early, it still wasn’t enough time to pull out her snowblower and do the entirety of her drive. It was up to her SUV to get her into town in one piece. 

With that thought in mind, she was quick to make it through her morning routine. She made sure to cut time wherever was possible. A shower that didn’t include washing her hair which allowed her to leave it down to frame her face, lighter than normal makeup, and one cup of caffeine instead of her normal two. Y/n decided against packing a lunch today and made sure to bundle up in heavy layers. 

With enough time left to nearly double her commute, she headed out the door and into the SUV. The cabin was warm, the heat running full blast from when she started it ten minutes earlier and she sighed as she settled into her seat. The driveway met her with instant resistance to the spinning of her tires, but it was nothing the rubber couldn’t handle. The woman was cautious, taking the gradual incline of her drive at a slow pace to give her time to react to any sign that the tires were slipping. 

Once she hit the main road, things were not much better. It seemed that most of the blanket that covered the mountainside had remained untouched, making her drive the first to lay down tracks. She could hear the snow brushing the underside of the vehicle, causing her to slow her pace even more to avoid any possible damage it may cause. At this point, the car was crawling down the hillside, barely rising above 25 miles per hour as she reached the valley. 

Y/n made her usual left turn towards the city and where she worked, the back road winding up through the mountains before leveling off in town. It could be treacherous this time of year, but it wasn’t a path she hadn’t taken before. Having grown up in the area, Y/n had learned how to handle the slope and the snow from the moment she walked out of the DMV with her license at seventeen. In fact, the night before her driver’s test, they received over a foot of snow. If she could pass under those conditions, she was set. But not even the years of experience could have prepared her car for the hidden patch of ice that had settled beneath the snow. 

The tires slipped against the smooth surface as she turned the corner, sending the rear of the SUV fishtailing to the right. Instinct had her correcting the path of the car before she could think about it, the turn of the steering wheel flipping the direction the vehicle was careening in. 

“Fuck,” Yn hissed as she worked to fix things, making sure this time to not overcorrect her car. Her grip on the leather wheel was tight as the realization that she had to let whatever was going on happen, bracing herself as the car continued to slip into a snowbank on the side of the road. Luckily, at her low speed, the impact was minimal and she prayed the damage to her fender would reflect that. With a sigh, she pushed slowly on the gas, attempting to see if her car would get back onto the road, only to feel the familiar slip of the tires. The vehicle was only able to find enough traction to give her maybe an inch, but the incline was unforgiving. 

“Well, shit,” she grumbled, pulling her phone from her purse before shutting off the car and hopping from the heated cabin. The snow crunched under her boots as she rounded the car to see if there was anything she might be able to do. Unfortunately, she didn’t have the tools in her trunk that would even come close to digging her out of the trouble she had gotten into. The frustrated woman kicked the rim of her tire, knowing full well it wasn’t her car’s fault she was in this mess, but it made her feel a tad better. She rounded back to jump back into the waning heat of the car to make the necessary calls to work and a tow truck. A voice rising behind her halted her hand on the handle. 

“Hey! Are you okay?” The deep voice carried across the open street and to the troubled woman. Y/n spun her head to the sound, certain she recognized that distinct timber of the person calling out to her. Sure enough, as she blinked through the thick snowflakes falling through the air, she was greeted by the visage of the very last person she had ever expected to see. He wasn’t wearing much for a cold snowy day, just a pair of heavy sweats and a thick green henley topped off with snow boots, a beanie, and a pair of gloves. The tall man skidded to a halt a safe distance from her, a snow shovel hanging from one hand. 

“Ma’am, are you hurt?” the return of his voice snapped her back to the reality that he was indeed standing in front of her. She was quick to straighten her features, hoping he hadn’t noticed the way her jaw had dropped. 

“Uh, yeah… I mean no, I’m not hurt at all,” she fumbled over her words and silently cursed her lack of finesse. He visibly relaxed, his shoulders dropping and a small smile gracing his lips. 

“I didn’t think anyone would try and get into town today,” his brow rose as he attempted to hide the amusement on her face. Y/n was a good sport though, nodding her agreement to his assessment. “I heard the commotion from my porch and came running.”

“I can see that,” the woman took in the flush to his nose and cheeks and the way his chest rose and fell with heavy breaths, the hot air from his mouth swirling into a white mist before disappearing above his head. With a giggle, she pointed to the shovel in his right hand. “Is that for protection?” 

“No, I was clearing my porch thank you very much,” he tilted his chin at her. “You want some help getting out?” Y/n turned to look back at the mess behind her, a grimace returning to her face. 

“You can try, but I’m pretty sure it’s hopeless.”

“Start her up, I’ll shovel,” and with that, he scooted past her and began to dig out the snow around her tires. Y/n suspected it was useless to argue and went back into her car. Most of the heat had faded by now from the inside, allowing the bitter bite of the mountain air to creep back in. She turned the engine over and waited for his signal. He appeared back at her door, slightly out of breath from his exertion and Y/n had to fight biting her lip at the sight. 

“Try her out, let’s see if that helped,” he panted, his lips parted as his chest heaved. With a nod, she put the car in gear and pressed against the gas. The vehicle rocked underneath her, but the tires still struggled to gain any traction. He disappeared to the rear, attempting to push the car to give her the extra power needed. But it was no use. The snow was too deep and too heavy. 

“It’s over,” Y/n sighed and put the car back into park before turning it off. The annoyed woman hopped back into the cold morning air. “Seriously, thank you for helping but I think my only option is calling for a tow.” 

“You might be right.” Y/n watched the gears turning in his head through the faded green eyes she had dreamed about many times before. He pursed his lips, still trying to come up with a way to get her out and the woman wasn’t sure her nonchalant demeanor would last much longer in his presence. She bit down on the tip of her tongue and fished her phone from her pocket, looking up the number for the local tow service. 

“Thank you though, for helping out a total stranger,” Y/n lifted the phone to her ear. 

“No problem, honestly. I’m Jensen by the way,” he indicated, not offering his hand to her considering the state of the country, and to be honest most of the world, at the moment. 

“Oh-” An automated machine picked up after the first ring, halting her reply. The message indicated the state of emergency the governor declared meant they weren’t taking calls until the weather let up. The shivering woman grimaced and hung up the phone. Jensen raised a brow at her, taking in the clear downstroke of her mood. 

“The governor declared a state of emergency,” she answered his unasked question. “I guess I better call work and let them know I won’t be in, I hope it does leave them too shorthanded because with the state of the roads that wouldn’t be good. And I should probably call my insurance company, but we will see if they even answer considering,”

“Ma’am?” Jensen interrupted her ramblings.

“Y/n, please,” she corrected. “I was rambling wasn’t I?” The worried woman hadn’t realized the words were coming out of her mouth, the anxiety over her current situation overtaking her mind for that brief moment. 

“A little,” he confirmed. “Listen, do you live close?”

“Not exactly. I’m about five miles down Sierra Trail.”

“Join me then?” Jensen suggested, indicating the drive that assuredly led to his house. Panic rose in her gut at the suggestion and her instant reaction was ‘that’s not happening’. The man standing across from her, no matter how many times she blinked, remained, and yet she still didn’t believe this wasn’t all a dream. 

Of course, she had recognized Jensen as soon as his voice registered in her brain. He was only the one man she had spent more time watching on her television or scrolling past online. The man had saved her life and he had no idea. The last thing she could do was just waltz into his home when he didn’t have all the facts. He deserved to have all the facts.

“Oh no, I couldn’t,” 

“I promise I’m not a serial killer or anything. My wife and kids are doing some finger painting in the kitchen as we speak and we haven’t left the house in weeks,” The man’s face softened as he looked at her, trying to convince the wary woman.

“It’s not that,” Y/n chuckled, earning a confused look from her favorite actor. The woman chewed on the inside of her lip, contemplating how to phrase the next thing she wanted to tell him. 

“I-” A smile spread on her face as she got an idea. Y/n held up a finger to him and stepped to the rear of her car. She raised a gloved hand to brush away the accumulation of snow on the small side window to reveal the anti-possession decal that clung to the glass. She turned back to him with a sheepish grin, “I’m actually a huge fan. I just thought you deserved to know that before you invite me into your home.” 

The numerous expressions that flickered past his features finally settled into a soft smile. “Well, thank you, that’s very kind. If you are a fan then you probably know that even if you planned to steal my underwear and sell it on the internet later, or even keep it, that I can’t let you stay out here on the side of the road and in the freezing cold for who only knows how long.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, you are welcome to stay as long as you need.”

“Thank you,” she sighed, her heart glowing in her chest at his offer. The fangirl inside her was losing her mind and trying to piece together what specific alternate reality fanfic she had fallen into. “I promise not to steal your underwear then.”

Jensen let out a snort, his head rearing back in laughter. “Well, I’ll make sure to count them before you leave, just in case.”

“Deal,” Y/n grabbed her belongings from her car and secured the vehicle before following Jensen. They crossed the road and dredged up the gentle slope of the Ackles’ drive. Y/n was finally beginning to feel the bite of the winter against her exposed face as the house came into view behind the heavy trees. The design was typical of the area and not much different from her own, well besides the sheer size of it. 

The stairs were sprinkled with salt and half the porch held evidence of his attempt to clear it, only for the still falling snow to already destroy his efforts. The sound of children’s chatter filtered from the house as Jensen pushed open the front door. He toed off his boots onto a matt behind the front door and Y/n moved to follow his lead. 

“Here,” he held his hand out to take her bags as she copied his action. “I’ll find something for you to change into and we can put your wet clothes into the dryer.” 

“You really don’t have to do that,” her instinct to refuse anything offered to her was too strong to stop. 

“Y/n, just relax. You are not sitting in wet clothes all day and that’s not just because I want to protect my furniture,” Jensen joked, also taking her coat as she shrugged it off. 

“That’s easy for you to say,” she grumbled, following behind him further into the house. The voices of his family grew louder as they went and the woman was sure even at his distance, the actor could hear her heart thumping inside her chest. 

As he passed under an archway, the tiny shriek of ‘Daddy’ met their ears, halting her in her steps. Y/n let her eyes close and took a few gulping breaths in one last-ditch attempt at steadying herself before she would spend her day with the Ackles’. 

Somebody should pinch her...

Forevers: @22sarah08 @440mxs-wife @akshi8278 @anathewierdo3467 @atc74 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @briagallen @callmekda @dawnie1988 @deandreamernp @deanwanddamons @ellewritesfix05 @emoryhemsworth @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @janicho88​ @jbsgirl4ever11 @jensengirl83 @lyarr24 @miss-nerd95​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @msmarvelouswinchester​ @polina-93​ @sleepylunarwolf​ @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan​​ @suckmyapplejacks​ @superfanficnatural​ @supraveng​ @talesmaniac89​ @tatted-trina6​ @thoughts-and-funnies​ @tranquility-or-chaos​ @waywardbeanie​ @winchest09​

[ptergwen]

last christmas | pt. 2

❆ series masterlist ❆

w/c: 2.5k

warnings: one suggestive joke and a couple of angsty moments

a/n: yo i forgot that harry was actually in this movie as an extra? that’s kinda funny to me but anyways pls send requests (ik it’s annoying i keep asking i’m just so bored y’all help) and enjoyyy

━━━ *:･。.

today feels better than most days. the throbbing headache you usually wake up with isn’t there. plus, you have your date with tom later. it still feels surreal to say that. it still feels surreal he’s your friend’s brother, and you only found out three days ago.

you throw on some sweats and head into the living room. your roommate alex is in front of the tv with a bowl of cereal. she puts it down, the spoon making an obnoxiously loud clink. you’re sensitive to sound, so you unintentionally wince.

“sorry, y/n/n. i thought you had the day off, no?” she asks, lowering the tv for your sake. you smile at the gesture and go to grab your coat. “i do. i just wanna get breakfast.” “we have stuff here,” alex reminds you and picks up her cereal for emphasis. she’s careful not to drop the spoon this time. laughing to yourself, you shrug into your coat.

“i’ll pass. i wanted to say hi to harry, anyway.” “right, tonight’s the night.” she turns her head towards you and smirks. “you’re shagging his brother.” your eyes go comically wide. “no i’m not! he’s taking me out somewhere,” you defend and button up your coat as fast as you can. it’s time to get out of here.

“i’ll make plans just in case,” alex calls out as you shuffle to the door. “yeah, bye!” you shout back. you planned on asking if she wanted anything, but you were too distracted. oh well.

━ ❆

the café isn’t too crowded when you get there. harry is on register, so he’s probably in a good mood. he eyes you curiously when you step up. you give him a big smile.

“you’re not in today,” he says quietly, pushing up the santa hat he’s wearing. you stifle a laugh. you’re all supposed to dress up festively, but you don’t. your manager made an exception. one of your co workers is watching harry, so he fixes the hat. it’s not done without a long exhale.

“i’m here for coffee,” you explain and glance up at the menu. harry squints at you. “you couldn’t have gone anywhere else?” feigning offense, you put your hand on your chest. “why, you don’t want to see me?” “when you’re supposed to be home resting, no.” he taps a button on the register. “what can i get you?”

“first of all, i have a date later. that won’t be happening,” you tell him smugly. he would try to act annoyed, but he’s honestly happy for you. tom, too. “can i have an iced coffee with liquid sweetener? please?” harry raises an eyebrow. “room for milk?” “sure,” you almost chirp. he can’t help but grin.

“i haven’t seen you this happy the whole time i’ve known you,” he mumbles while punching in your order. your smile fades into a concerned grimace. “is that okay, do you think?” harry looks up at you again. “why wouldn’t it be?” “because, i mean, it’s only one date. it could end up going no where.”

you lean over the counter so you can talk quieter. “what would i be happy about then?” “excuse me?” a woman interrupts your conversation louder than necessary. you’re trying to search harry’s face for an answer, but he doesn’t give you one. “one second, sorry,” he apologizes to the customer. you stand up right again.

“tom wouldn’t do all this if he didn’t feel something,” harry nearly whispers while you get out your money. you read your total befofe he could tell you. you let your hand linger in his when you hand him the cash. “you’ll have more than one night of happiness. you deserve it.”

you’re starting to get a bit emotional, so you pull your hand back. you nod and manage a small smile. “thank you, harry. really.” “you’ll let me know how it goes?” he checks. “tomorrow, yeah. have a good shift.” you give him a finger wave and go off to get your coffee. he waves back.

━ ❆

tom gets a text from harry a few minutes after you leave.

y/n is really special. don’t be a div tonight.

he scoffs at his phone and shuts it off. your smile pops into his mind then. he only got to see it once, but he can’t seem to forget it.

harry is right. you are really special, and he better not mess this up.

━ ❆

you and tom decided on eight for your date. he’s meeting you outside your place because wherever you’re going is in walking distance. you bundle up accordingly in your fluffiest jacket and some earmuffs. you’ve never worn them before, but they’ll be your best friend tonight. they’re also cute. this is the time to be cute.

tom buzzes to let you know he’s there at eight sharp. his punctuality is kind of a surprise. you don’t know much about the real him, but this is rare from what you’ve gathered. you tell him you’re coming and hop out the door.

the thing alex said earlier does cross your mind, and she did leave you the apartment. never mind all of that. you try to think of anything but that before you get outside.

“hey,” tom greets as you walk down the stairs. he grins playfully at your attire. “you look cozy.” “you don’t.” he’s wearing a thin black jacket with a flannel underneath. it’s not ideal for the middle of winter in london. a smug smile pulls at your lips.

“you’re gonna walk in that?” you gesture to his outfit, moving so you’re next to him. he hums. “i’ll let you tease me for it the whole way there.” the two of you start walking side by side. it doesn’t take long for you to fall into step. “the whole way? how far is it?” you raise an eyebrow.

“twenty minutes maybe? it can’t be too bad. we have loads to talk about,” tom says rather suggestively. you look over and he’s smirking. there’s never a dull moment with this man. that’s actually just what you need right now. “true. you start,” you prompt him, your arm brushing against his. “tell me all about you.” he leans closer to you instinctively.

“well, i’m an actor. obviously,” tom shrugs like it’s no big deal, making you laugh quietly. he really likes your laugh. “besides that. like, what do you do when you’re not acting?” you ask, eyes fixed on him. he’s so pretty under the streetlights. all the time, really. “this is so boring, but i love golf. i’m rubbish, though,” he says the second part under his breath.

“and i thought you were good at everything,” you tease, tom faking a frown. “no, but seriously. it’s probably nice to do some regular stuff when you can.” he exhales in a way that seems reflective. “exactly, i like having some separation. what about you?” “what do i do when i’m not acting?” you ask sarcastically. “sure,” he plays along.

you think about it while you turn the corner. tom watches you intently, like you’re about to say something actually interesting. you’re not. “not much anymore.” he’s about to ask what you mean by anymore, but you keep going. “i took a gap year from uni, so i’ve been getting that sorted,” you continue, looking up at the dark sky. this isn’t your favorite discussion.

“makes sense. what are you studying?” also not your favorite discussion. “i’m undecided. i was thinking about psychology, but...” you search for something, anything you can to change the subject. the first thing you see is the first thing you mention. “your ears are bright red right now,” you giggle and point at one. tom presses his hands to them, feeling how cold they are.

“damn, you’re right,” he gives in to your conversation from earlier. without thinking about it, you pull your earmuffs off. you put them around his head instead. they’re pink with white snowflakes on them. tom looks cuter with them than you do, you think. “here. these should make them a normal color.”

“aw, but i don’t want you to be cold,” he protests and goes to take them off. you grab his hand before he can. “i’m not.” grinning, he properly takes your hand in his. your fingers lace together like you’ve held hands a million times. he lets them drop between you two and keeps leading the way to your mystery spot.

you swing your hands back and forth, smiling when you feel his grip tighten. tom pats one of the earmuffs. “i think we’ll both be warm once we get there.” “where exactly is ‘there’?” you laugh out. it was supposed to be a surprise, but you have to know. he points at something straight ahead. you’re still too far to see it.

“yeah, i can’t tell what that is,” you confirm. his reply is a satisfied hum. “good. let me keep you in suspense for at least five more minutes.” “you’re cheeky, aren’t you?” he chuckles and swings your hands again. “i’ve been told.”

you two finally end up at a hot chocolate stand. there are white lights strung in the trees surrounding it, music playing quietly into the night. the atmosphere welcomes and comforts you as soon as you get on line.

“i figured it would be nice to get one of these rather than making them for a change,” tom fills you in. he seems unsure of it now that you’re here, his voice lower than before. harry’s text is replaying in his head. he wants this to be good enough, more than good enough. should he have planned something more? his nerves die down when you squeeze his hand in yours.

this is the perfect low pressure date you’d hoped for. the focus is on each other and not some fancy meal. you were right about the movies not changing tom. “this place is really cute. i like it.” you move up on line together. “and my hot chocolates kind of suck, so yeah. it is.” “no, i bet they’re delicious,” he reassures you with one of his famous eye crinkling grins.

you chat more about your barista skills and all the kitchen disasters harry has had to save you from. the story of the time you made foam explode all over the countertops has him giggling. his laugh is contagious, so you end up joining in. your laughter eventually quiets because it’s your turn to order.

“hi, we’ll have two large hot chocolates?” tom orders for you two. you shoot him a curious look. “large? i’ll never finish.” the sizes here are huge, which is part of their gimmick. it’s also why tom found it interesting. the joke is that the stand itself is small, but they have gigantic drinks.

“leftovers, then.” he winks at you. you’re disappointed you have to let his hand go while he pays. the cashier says your drinks will be ready shortly. tom thanks him and turns back to you. “you probably got in so much trouble, huh?” he asks about your work horror story. you look him over for a few seconds.

you’re shocked how genuinely interested he is in everything you tell him. there are much cooler things he could be talking about, but he wants to hear from you. it makes you feel like there’s something between you two already. like, you’re old friends or soulmates or anything bigger than two strangers on a first date.

even though it’s still early to tell, you definitely have a connection of some kind.

“nope. i’m better at cleaning than i am at making cappuccinos,” you remark, the cashier coming back with two large hot chocolates. tom hands you yours first. he takes his after. “thank you so much,” he tells the man again. “have a nice night,” you add. the two of you take your drinks to a small table under a tree.

you sit across from each other, tom setting the earmuffs down. he pushes them back to you with a smile playing on his lips. “i like those better on you,” you murmur before taking a sip of hot chocolate. “pink’s my color,” he agrees and does the same. it’s so good that you decide to have some more, even though there’s steam coming from the lid.

“maybe i will finish all of this.” “i knew you’d like it.” tom laughs behind his cup. he got all worked up about it for nothing. you’re having one of your best nights in a while, which almost makes you not want to bring up the next topic. it’s sadly inevitable, so you might as well get it out of the way. christmas.

“so, do you have any plans for christmas?” you start, downing another sip. tom puts his drink down and leans back in the chair. “i’m staying over my mum and dad’s. we’ll have our traditional holland celebration.” he smiles to himself just thinking about it. you’re happy he has something to look forward to. you don’t.

“are you doing anything?” there’s the big question. people usually get awkward when you go into detail, which is exactly why you won’t. “actually, no.” his excitement changes to confusion. he furrows his eyebrows and sits up again. “you don’t celebrate?” “i do, just not anymore. not this year, at least.”

tom is extremely curious what this ‘anymore’ is about. it’s the second time you’ve mentioned it.

“i used to love it. my christmas spirit ran out, i guess,” you eleborate, eyes shifting down to the frozen grass. tom almost frowns. it’s not because he pities you. no one likes that. christmas is one of, if not, his favorite times of year. he just wishes the whole world could be happy this holiday season. the lovely girl sitting in front of him, especially.

there has to be something he can do.

“no, you can always get it back,” he says softly, searching for your eyes. “i’ll help you.” you look up at him again and blink back the tears you feel coming. tom must feel so lost right now. he wouldn’t be with context. you’re going to tell him what happened when you’re ready because you do want him to understand. trusting him feels like an instinct.

“how?” your voice comes out even quieter than his. you pick up your drink to distract yourself. “let’s see,” tom thinks aloud. he snaps when he gets an idea. “have you done any decorating?” “my roommate put up a tree. she never did the ornaments, though.” he gasps over dramatically, earning a laugh from you.

“you can’t leave a naked tree sitting around.” “i told her it looked stupid,” you sigh and sip your hot chocolate. tom holds out a hand for you. “we should go to the shops”

it would be easy to say no. it would be easy to go back home and hide under your covers and avoid the missed calls from your family. the catch is, easy isn’t progress. you can’t move past this unless you work to get it done.

you take tom’s hand and stand up from the table.

“we should also get a ride this time.”

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 10/13/20: FREAKY, THE CLIMB, MANK, HILLBILLY ELEGY, AMMONITE, DREAMLAND, DOC-NYC and MUCH MORE!

It’s a pretty crazy week for new releases as I mentioned a few times over the past couple weeks, but it’s bound to happen as we get closer to the holiday movie season, which this year won’t include many movies in theaters, even though movie theaters are still open in many areas of the country… and closing in others. Sigh. Besides a few high-profile Netflix theatrical release, we also get movies starring Vince Vaughn, Margot Robbie, Kate Winslet, Saoirse Ronan, Mel Gibson and more offerings. In fact, I’ve somehow managed to write 12 (!!!!) reviews this week… yikes.

Before we get to the new movies, let’s look at a few series/festivals starting this week, including the always great documentary festival, DOC-NYC, which runs from November 11 through 19. A few of the docs I’ve already seen are (probably not surprisingly, if you know me) some of the music docs in the “Sonic Cinema” section, including Oliver Murray’s Ronnie’s, a film about legendary jazz musician and tenor sax player Ronnie Scott, whose London club Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Club has been one of the central cores for British jazz fans for many decades.

Alex Winter’s Zappa is a much more satisfying portrait of the avant-garde rocker than the doc Frank Zappa: In His Own Words from a few years back, but I was even more surprised by how much I enjoyed Julien Temple’s Crock of Gold: A Few Rounds with Shane MacGowan, because I’ve never really been a Pogues fan, but it’s highly entertaining as we learn about the chronically-soused frontman of the popular Irish band.

I haven’t seen Robert Yapkowitz and Richard Peete’s in My Own Time: A Portrait of Karen Dalton, a portrait of the blues and folk singer, yet, nor have I watched Marcia Jarmel and Ken Schneider’s Los Hermanos/The Brothers about two brother musicians separated from childhood after leaving their native Cuba, but I’ll try to get to both of them soon enough.

Outside of the realm of music docs is Ilinca Calugareanu’s A Cops and Robbers Story, which follows Corey Pegues from being a drug dealer and gang member to a celebrated deputy inspector within the NYPD. There’s also Nancy (The Loving Story) Buirski’s A Crime on the Bayou, the third part of the filmmaker’s trilogy about brave individuals in the Civil Rights era, this one about 19-year-old New Orleans fisherman Gary Duncan who tries to break up a fight between white and black teens at an integrated school and is arrested for assaulting a minor when merely touching a white boy’s arm.

Hao Wu’s 76 Days covers the length of Wuhan, China’s lockdown due to COVID-19, a very timely doc that will be released by MTV Documentary Films via virtual cinema on December 4. It’s one of DOC-NYC’s features on its annual Short List, which includes Boys State, Collective, The Fight, On the Record, and ten others that will vie for juried categories.

IFC Films’ Dear Santa, the new film from Dana Nachman, director of the wonderful Pick of the Litter, will follow its Heartland Film Festival debut with a run at COD-NYC before its own December 4 release. The latter is about the USPS’s “Operation Santa” program that receives hundreds of thousands of letters to Santa every year and employees thousands of volunteers to help make the wishes of these kids come true.

Basically, there’s a LOT of stuff to see at DOC-NYC, and while most of the movies haven’t been released publicly outside festivals yet, a lot of these movies will be part of the doc conversations of 2020. DOC-NYC gives the chance for people across the United States to see a lot of great docs months before anyone else, so take advantage of some of their ticket packs to save some money over the normal $12 per ticket price. The $199 price for an All Access Film Pass also isn’t a bad deal if you have enough time to watch the hundreds of DOC-NYC offerings. (Sadly, I never do, yet I’m still a little bummed to miss the 10Am press screenings at IFC Center that keeps me off the streets… or in this case, sitting on my ass at home.)

Not to be outdone by the presence of DOC-NYC, Film at Lincoln Center is kicking off its OWN seventh annual “Art of the Real” doc series, which has a bit of overlap by running from November 13 to 26. I really don’t know a lot about the documentaries being shown as part of this program, presented with Mubi and The New York Times, but check this out. For just 50 bucks, you can get an all-access pass to all 17 films, which you can casually watch at home over the two weeks of the fest.

Okay, let’s get to some theatrical releases, and the one I’ve been anticipating the most (also the one getting the widest release) is Christopher Landon’s FREAKY from Blumhouse and Universal Pictures. It stars Kathryn Newton as Millie Kessler, a high school outcast who is constantly picked on, but one night, she ends up encountering the serial killer known as the “Blissfield Butcher” (Vince Vaughn), but instead of dying when she’s stabbed with a ritual blade. The next morning Millie and the Butcher wake up to discover that they’ve been transported into the body of the other. Oh, it’s Friday the 13th… oh, now I get it… Freaky Friday!

Landon is best known for writing many of the Paranormal Activity sequels and directing Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones. Msore importantly, he directed Happy Death Day and its sequel Happy Death Day 2 U, two of my favorite Blumhouse movies, because they so successfully mix horror with comedy, which is so hard to do. That’s what Freaky is all about, too, and it’s even harder this time even though Freaky has way more gruesome and gory kills than anything in Landon’s other films. Heck, many of the kills are gorier than the most recent Halloween from Blumhouse, and it’s a little shocking when you’re laughing so hard at times.

Landon does some clever things with what’s essentially a one-joke premise of a killer in a teen girl’s body and vice versa, but like the Lindsay Lohan-Jamie Lee Curtis remake from 2003, it’s all about the talent of the two main actors to pull off the rather intricate nature of playing humor without losing the seriousness of the horror element.

It may not be too surprising with Vaughn, who made a ton of dramas and thrillers before turning to comedy. (Does everyone remember that he played Norman Bates in Gus Van Sant’s remake of Psycho and also starred in thrillers The Cell and Domestic Disturbance?) Newton is a bit more of an unknown quantity, but as soon as Tillie dawns the red leather jacket, you know that she can use her newly found homicidal attitude to get some revenge on those who have been terrible to her.

In some ways, the comedy aspects of Freaky win out over the horror but no horror fan will be disappointed by the amount of gory kills and how well the laughs emerge from a decent horror flick. Freaky seems like the kind of movie that Wes Craven would have loved.

I’m delighted to say that this week’s “Featured Flick” is Michael Angelo Covino and Kyle Marvin’s indie comedy THE CLIMB (Sony Pictures Classics), a movie that I have seen no less than three times this year, first when it was playing Sundance, a few months later when it was supposed to open in March… and then again last week! And you know what? I enjoyed it just as much every single time. It’s an amazing two-hander that stars Covino and Marvin as best friends Mike and Kyle, who have a falling out over the former sleeping with the latter’s fiancé, and it just gets funnier and funnier as the friends fight and Kyle gets engaged to Marisa (Gayle Rankin from GLOW) who hates Mike. Can this friendship possibly survive?

I really had no idea what to expect the first time I saw The Climb at the Sony Screening Room, but it was obviously going to be a very different movie for Sony Pictures Classics, who had started out the year with so many great films before theaters shut down. (Unfortunately, they may have waited too long on this one as theaters seem to be shutting down again even while NYC and L.A. have yet to reopen them. Still, I think this would be just as much fun in a drive-in.)

The movie starts with a long, extended scene of the two leads riding bikes on a steep mountain in France, talking to each other as Kyle (once the athlete of the duo) has fallen out of shape. During the conversation, Mike admits to having slept with Kyle’s fiancé Ava (Judith Godréche) and things turn hostile between the two. We then get the first big jump in time as we’re now at the funeral for Ava, who actually had been married to Mike. Kyle eventually moves on and begins a relationship with his high school sweetheart Marisa, who we meet at the Thanksgiving gathering for Kyle’s extended family. In both these cases, we see how the relationship between Mike and Kyle has changed/evolved as Mike has now fallen on hard times.

It's a little hard to explain why what’s essentially a “slice of life” movie can be so funny. On one hand, The Climb might be the type of movie we might see from Mike Leigh, but Covino and Marvin find a way to make everything funny and also quite eccentric in terms of how some of the segments begin and end.  Technically, it’s also an impressive feat with the number of amazing single shot sequences and how smooth some of the transitions work. It’s actually interesting to see when and how the filmmakers decide to return to the lives of their subjects – think of it a bit like Michael Apted’s “Up” series of docs but covering a lot shorter span in time.

Most importantly, The Climb has such a unique tone and feel to other indie dramedies we’ve seen, as the duo seem to be influenced more by European cinema than American indies. Personally, I think a better title for The Climb might have been “Frenemied,” but even with the movie’s fairly innocuous title, you will not forget the experience watching this entertaining film anytime soon.

Maybe this should be called “Netflix week,” because the streamer is releasing a number of high-profile movies into theaters and on the streaming service. Definitely one of the more anticipated movies of the year is David Fincher’s MANK, which will get a theatrical release this week and then stream on Netflix starting December 4.

It stars Gary Oldman as Herman Mankiewicz, the Hollywood screenwriter who has allowed himself to succumb to alcoholism but has been hired by Orson Welles (Tom Burke) to write his next movie, Citizen Kane, working with a personal secretary Rita Alexander (played by Lily Collins). His story is told through his interactions with media mogul William Hearst (Charles Dance) and relationship with actress and Hearst ingenue and mistress, Marion Davies (Amanda Seyfried).

It I were asked to pick one director who is my absolute favorite, Fincher would probably be in my top 5 because he’s had such an illustrious and varied career of movie styles, and Mank continues that tradition as Fincher pays tribute to old Hollywood and specifically the work of Orson Welles in every frame of this biopic that’s actually more about the troubled writer of Citizen Kane who was able to absorb everything happening in his own Hollywood circles and apply them to the script.

More than anything, Mank feels like a movie for people who love old Hollywood and inside Hollywood stories, and maybe even those who may already know about the making of Welles’ highly-regarded film might find a few new things to appreciate. I particularly enjoyed Mankiewicz’s relationships with the women around him, including his wife “Poor Sarah,” played by Tuppence Middleton, Collins’ Rita, and of course, Seyfried’s absolutely radiant performance as Davies.  Maybe I would have appreciated the line-up of known names and characters like studio head Louis B Mayer and others, if more of them had any sort of effect on the story and weren’t just

The film perfectly captures the dynamic of the time and place as Mank is frequently the only honest voice in a sea of brown nosers and yes-men. Maybe I would have enjoyed Oldman’s performance more if everything that comes out of Mankiewicz’s mouth wasn’t an all-too-clever quip.

The film really hits a high point after a friend of Mank’s commits suicide and how that adds to the writer’s woes about not being able to save him. The film’s last act involves Mank dealing with the repercussions after the word gets out that Citizen Kane is indeed about Hearst.

Overall, Mank is a movie that’s hard to really dig into, and like some of Fincher’s previous work, it tends to be devoid of emotion. Even Fincher’s decision to be clever by including cigarette burns to represent Mank’s “reels” – something explained by Brad Pitt in Fight Club – just drives home the point that Mank is deliberately Fincher’s most meta movie to date.

You can also read my technical/crafts review of Mank over at Below the Line.

Ron Howard’s adaptation of JD Vance’s bestselling memoir HILLBILLY ELEGY will be released by Netflix into theaters ahead of its streaming debut on November 24. It stars Amy Adams and Glenn Close, but in honesty, it’s about JD Vance, you know, the guy who wrote the memoir.  The film follows his younger years (as played by Owen Asztalos) while dealing with a dysfunctional white trash family in Middletown, Ohio, dealing with his headstrong Mamaw (Close) and abusive mother dealing with drug addiction (Adams).  Later in life, while studying at Yale (and played by Gabriel Basso), he has to return to his Ohio roots to deal with his mother’s growing addiction that forces him to come to terms with his past.

I’m a bit of a Ron Howard stan – some might even say “an apologist” – and there’s no denying that Hillbilly Elegy puts him the closest to A Beautiful Mind territory than he’s been in quite some time. That doesn’t mean that this movie is perfect, nor that I would consider it one of his better movies, though. I went into the movie not knowing a thing about JD Vance or his memoir but after the first reviews came out, I was a little shocked how many of them immediately went political, because there’s absolutely nothing resembling politics in the film.

It is essentially an adaptation of a memoir, dealing with JD Vance’s childhood but then also the past that led his mother and grandmother down the paths that made his family so dysfunctional. I particularly enjoyed the relationship between the older Vance and his future wife Usha (as played by Freida Pinto) earlier in their relationship as they’re both going to Yale and Vance is trying to move past his family history to succeed in the realm of law.

It might be a no-brainer why Adams and Close are being given so much of the attention for their performances. They are two of the best. Close is particularly amusing as the cantankerous Mamaw, who veers between cussing and crying, but also has some great scenes both with Adams and the younger Vance. The amazing special make-up FX used to change her appearance often makes you forget you’re watching Close. I wish I could say the same for Adams, who gives such an overwrought and over-the-top performance that it’s very hard to feel much emotionally for her character as she goes down a seemingly endless vortex of drug addiction. It’s a performance that leads to some absolute craziness. (It’s also odd seeing Adams in basically the Christian Bale role in The Fighter, although Basso should get more credit about what he brings out in their scenes together.)

Hillbilly Elegy does have a number of duller moments, and I’m not quite sure anyone not already a fan of Vance’s book would really have much interest in these characters. I certainly have had issues with movies about people some may consider “Southern White Trash,” but it’s something I’ve worked on myself to overcome. It’s actually quite respectable for a movie to try to show characters outside the normal circles of those who tend to write reviews, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the movie might be able to connect with people in rural areas that rarely get to see themselves on screen.

Hillbilly Elegy has its issues, but it feels like a successful adaptation of a novel that may have been difficult to keep an audience invested in with all its flashbacks and jumps in time.

Netflix is also streaming the Italian drama THE LIFE AHEAD, directed by Edoardo Ponti, starring Oscar-winning actress Sophia Loren, who happens to also be the filmmaker’s mother. She plays Madame Rosa, a Holocaust survivor in Italy who takes a stubborn young street kid named Momo (Ibrahima Gueye), much to both their chagrin.

I’ll be shocked if Italy doesn’t submit Ponti’s film as their choice for the Oscar’s International Film category, because it has all of the elements that would appeal to Oscar voters. In that sense, I also found it to be quite traditional and formulaic.  Loren is quite amazing, as to be expected, and I was just as impressed with young Ibrahima Gueye who seems to be able to hold his own in what’s apparently his first movie. There’s others in the cast that also add to the experience including a trans hooker named Lola, but it’s really the relationship between the two main characters that keeps you invested in the movie. I only wish I didn’t spend much of the movie feeling like I knew exactly where it’s going in terms of Rosa doing something to save the young boy and giving him a chance at a good life.

I hate to be cynical, but at times, this is so by the books, as if Ponti watched every Oscar movie and made one that had all the right elements to appeal to Oscar voters and wokesters alike. That aside, it does such a good job tugging at heartstrings that you might forgive how obviously formulaic it is.

Netflix is also premiering the fourth season of The Crown this week, starring Olivia Colman as Queen Elizabeth and bringing on board Gillian Anderson as Margaret Thatcher, Emma Corin, Helena Bonham Carter, Tobis Menzies, Marion Bailey and Charles Dancer. Quite a week for the streamer, indeed.

Another movie that may be in the conversation for Awards season is AMMONITE (NEON), the new film from Francis Lee (God’s Own Country), a drama set in 1840s England where Kate Winslet plays Mary Anning, a fossil hunter,  tasked to look after melancholic young bride, Charlotte Murcheson (Saoirse Ronan), sent to the sea to get better only for them to get into a far more intimate relationship.

I had been looking forward to this film, having heard almost unanimous raves from out of Toronto a few months back. Maybe my expectations were too high, because while this is a well-made film with two strong actors, it’s also rather dreary and not something I necessarily would watch for pleasure. The comparisons to last year’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire (also released by NEON) are so spot-on that it’s almost impossible to watch this movie without knowing exactly where it’s going from the very minute that the two main characters meet.

Winslet isn’t bad in another glammed-down role where she can be particularly cantankerous, but knowing that the film would eventually take a sapphic turn made it somewhat predictable. Ronan seems to be playing her first outright adult role ever, and it’s a little strange to see her all grown-up after playing a teenager in so many movies.

The movie is just so contained to the one setting right up until the last 20 minutes when it actually lives the Lyme setting and lets us see the world outside Mary’s secluded lifestyle.  As much as I wanted to love Ammonite, it just comes off as so obvious and predictable – and certainly not helped by coming out so soon after Portrait of a Lady. There’s also something about Ammonite that just feels so drab and dreary and not something I’d necessarily need to sit through a second time.

The animated film WOLFWALKERS (GKIds) is the latest from Tomm Moore and Ross Stewart, directors of the Oscar-nominated Secret of the Kells (Moore’s Song of the Sea also received an Oscar nomination a few years later.) It’s about a young Irish girl named Robyn (voiced Honor Kneafsey) who is learning to be hunter from her father (voiced by Sean Bean) to help him wipe out the last wolf pack. Roby then meets another girl (voiced by Eva Whittaker) who is part of a tribe rumored to transform into wolves by night.

I have to be honest that by the time I got around to start watching this, I was really burnt out and not in any mood to watch what I considered to look like a kiddie movie. It looks nice, but I’m sure I’d be able to enjoy it more in a different head (like watching first thing on a Saturday morning).

Regardless, Wolfwalkers will be in theaters nationwide this Friday and over the weekend via Fathom Events as well as get full theatrical runs at drive-ins sponsored by the Landmark, Angelika and L.A.’s Vineland before it debuts on Apple TV+ on December 11. Maybe I’ll write a proper review for that column. You can get tickets for the Fathom Events at  WolfwalkersMovie.com.

Next up is Miles Joris-Peyrafitte’s DREAMLAND (Paramount), starring Margot Robbie as Allison Wells, a bank-robbing criminal on the loose who encounters young man named Eugene Evans (Finn Cole) in rural Dust Bowl era North Dakota and convinces him to hide her and help her escape the authorities by taking her to Mexico.

Another movie where I wasn’t expecting much, more due to the generic title and genre than anything else, but it’s a pretty basic story of a young man in a small town who dreams of leaving and also glamorizes the crime stories he read in pulps. Because of the Great Depression in the late ’20, the crime wave was spreading out across the land and affecting everyone, even in more remote locations like the one at the center of Dreamland.

The sad truth is that there have been so many better movies about this era, including Warren Beatty’s Bonnie and Clyde, Lawless and many others. Because of that, this might not be bad but it’s definitely trying to follow movies that leave quite a long shadow. The innocent relationship between Eugene and Allison does add another level to the typical gangster story, but maybe that isn’t enough for Dreamland to really get past the fact that the romantic part of their relationship isn’t particularly believable.

As much as this might have been fine as a two-hander, you two have Travis Fimmel as Eugene’s stepfather and another generic white guy in Garrett Hedlund playing Allison’s Clyde Barrow-like partner in crime in the flashbacks. Cole has enough trouble keeping on pace with Robbie but then you have Fimmel, who was just grossly miscast. The film’s score ended up being so overpowering and annoying I wasn’t even remotely surprised when I saw that Joris-Peyrafitte is credited with co-writing the film’s score.

Dreamland is fine, though it really needed to have a stronger and more original vision to stand out. It’s another classic case of an actor being far better than the material she’s been given. This is being given a very limited theatrical release before being on digital next Tuesday.

This might have been Netflix week, but maybe it could have been “Saban Films Week,” since the distributor also has three new movies. Actually, only two, because I screwed up, and I missed the fact that André Øvredal’s MORTAL was released by Saban Films LAST week. Not entirely my fault because for some reason, I had it opening this week, and I only realized that I was wrong last Wednesday. Oh, well.  It stars Nate Wolff as Eric Bergeland, an American in Norway who seems to have some enigmatic powers, but after killing a young lad, he ends up on the lam with federal agent Christine (Iben Akerlie from Victoria).

This is another movie I really wanted to like since I’ve been such a fan of Øvredal from back to his movie Trollhunter. Certainly the idea of him taking a dark look at superpowers through the lends of Norse mythology should be right up my alley. Even so, this darker and more serious take on superpowers – while it might be something relatively unique and new in movies – it’s something anyone who has read comics has seen many times before and often quite better.

Wolff’s character is deliberately kept a mystery about where he comes from, and all we know is that he survived a fire at his farm, and we watched him kill a young man that’s part of a group of young bullies.  From there, it kind of turns into a procedural as the authorities and Akerlie’s character tries to find out where Eric came from and got his powers. It’s not necessarily a slow or talkie movie, because there are some impressive set pieces for sure, but it definitely feels more like Autopsy of Jane Doe than Trollhunters. Maybe my biggest is that this is a relatively drab and lifeless performance by Wolff, who I’ve seen be better in other films.

Despite my issues, it doesn’t lessen my feelings about Øvredal as a filmmaker, because there’s good music and use of visual FX -- no surprise if you’ve seen Trollhunters -- but there’s still a really bad underlying feeling that you’re watching a lower budget version of an “X-Men” movie, and not necessarily one of the better ones.  Despite a decent (and kinda crazy) ending, Mortal never really pays off, and it’s such a slog to get to that ending that people might feel slightly underwhelmed.

Seth Savoy’s ECHO BOOMERS (Saban Films) is a crime thriller based on a “true story if you believe in such things,” starring Patrick Schwarzenegger as Lance, a young art major, who falls in with a group of youths who break into rich people’s homes and trash them, also stealing some of the more valuable items for their leader Mel (Michael Shannon).

There’s a lot about Echo Boomers that’s going to feel familiar if you’ve seen Sofia Coppola’s The Bling Ring or the heist movie American Animals from a few years back, but even with those similarities, Seth Savoy has a strong cast and vision to make more out of the fairly weak writing than another director might manage. Schwarzenegger, who seems to be pulling in quite a wide range of roles for basically being another generic white actor is only part of a decent ensemble that includes Alex Pettyfer as the group’s ersatz alpha male Ellis and Hayley Law (also great in the recent Spontaneous) as his girlfriend Allie, the only girl taking part in the heists and destruction. Those three actors alone are great, but then you add Shannon just doing typically fantastic work as more of a catalyst than an antagonist.

You can probably expect there will be some dissension in the ranks, especially when the group’s “Fagan” Mel puts Lance in charge of keeping them in line and Allie forms a friendship with Lance. What holds the movie back is the decision to use a very traditional testimonial storytelling style where Lance and Allie narrate the story by relaying what happened to the authorities after their capture obviously. This doesn’t help take away from the general predictability of where the story goes either, because we’ve seen this type of thing going all the way back to The Usual Suspects.

While Echo Boomers might be fairly derivative of far better movies at times, it also has a strong directorial vision and a compelling story that makes up enough for that fact.

In theaters this Friday and then On Demand and Digital on November 24 is Eshom and Ian Nelms’ action-comedy FATMAN (Saban Films/Paramount), starring Mel Gibson as Santa Claus and Walton Goggins as the hired assassin sent to kill him by a spoiled rich boy named  Billy (Chance Hurstfield) who unhappy with the presents he’s being brought for Christmas.

While we seem to be surrounded by high concept movies of all shapes and sizes, you can’t get much more high concept than having Mel Gibson playing a tough and cantankerous* Kris Kringle (*Is this the week’s actual theme?) who is struggling to survive with Mrs. Klaus (played by the wonderful Marianne Jean-Baptiste from In Fabric) when they’re given the opportunity to produce military grade items for the army using his speedy elf workshop. Unbeknownst to the Kringles, the disgruntled hitman who also feels he’s been let down by Santa is on his way to the North Pole to fulfill his assignment.

You’ll probably know whether you’ll like this movie or not since its snarkier comedic tone is introduced almost from the very beginning. This is actually a pretty decent role for Gibson that really plays up to his strengths, and it’s a shame that there wasn’t more to it than just a fairly obvious action movie that leads to a shoot-out. I probably should have enjoyed Goggins more in a full-on villainous role but having been watching a lot of him on CBS’ The Unicorn, it’s kind of hard to adjust to him playing this kind of role.  I did absolutely love Marianne Jean-Baptiste and the warmth she brought to a relatively snarky movie.

I’m not sure if Fatman is the best showing of Eshom and Ian Nelms’ abilities as filmmakers, because they certainly have some, but any chance of being entertaining is tamped down by a feeling the filmmakers are constantly trying to play it safe. Because of this, Fatman has a few fun moments but a generally weak premise that never fully delivers. It would have thrived by being much crazier, but instead, it’s just far too mild.

Malin Åkerman stars in Paul Leyden’s CHICK FIGHT (Quiver Distribution) as Anna, a woman unhappy with her life and inability to survive on the little money she makes at her failing coffee shop. When Anna’s lesbian traffic cop friend Charleen (Dulcé Sloan) takes her to an underground fight club, Anna her trepidation about joining in, because she has never been in a fight in her life.  Learning that her mother has a legacy at the club, Anna agrees to be trained by Alec Baldwin’s always-drunk Murphy in order to take on the challenges of the likes of Bella Thorne’s Olivia.

Another movie where I’m not sure where to begin other than the fact that I’m not sure I’ve seen a movie trying so hard to be fun and funny and failing miserably at both. Listen, I generally love Akerman, and I’m always hoping for her to get stronger material to match her talents, but this tries its best to be edgy without ever really delivering on the most important thing for any comedy: Laughs.  Sure, the filmmakers try their best and even shoehorn a bit of romance for Anna in the form of the ring doctor played by Kevin Connolly from Entourage, but it does little to help distinguish the movie’s identity.

Listen, I’m not going to apologize for being a heterosexual male that finds Bella Thorne to be quite hot when she’s kicking ass in the ring. (I’m presuming that a lot of what we see in her scenes in the ring involves talented stuntwomen, but whoa! If that’s not the case.) Alec Baldwin seems to be in this movie merely as a favor to someone, possibly one of the producers, and when he disappears with no mention midway through the movie, you’re not particularly surprised. Another of trying too hard is having Anna’s father Ed (played by wrestler Kevin Nash) come out as gay and then use his every appearance to talk about his sex acts.  Others in the cast like Fortune Feimster seem to be there mainly for their bulk and believability as fighters.

Ultimately, Chick Fight is a fairly lame and bland girl power movie written, directed and mostly produced by men. I’m not sure why anyone might be expecting more from it than being a poorly-executed comedy lacking laughs.

And yet, that wasn’t the worst movie of the weekend. That would be Andrzej Bartkowiak’s DEAD RECKONING (Shout! Studios). Yes, the Polish cinematographer and filmmaker who once made the amazing Romeo is Bleeding, starring Gary Oldman and Lena Olin, has returned with a movie with the onus of a premise that reads “a thriller inspired by the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013.” No, I did not make that up. It mostly takes place in Nantucket, Massachusetts, which I guess is sort of close to Boston, but instead it focuses on the relationship between teens Niko (K.J. Apa) and Tillie (India Eisley), the latter whose parents died in a plane crash that might have been caused by a terrorist. It just so happens that Niko’s brother Marco (Scott Adkins) is an Albanian terrorist. Coincidence? I think not!

Once you get past the most generic title ever, Dead Reckoning is just plain awful. I probably should have known what to expect when the movie opens with Eric “Never Turned Down a Job” Roberts, but also, I strong feel that Scott Adkins, better known for his martial arts skills, is easily one of the worst actors ever to be given lines to say in a movie. And yet, somehow, there are even worse actors in this movie. How is that even possible?

Although this presumed action movie opens with one of three or four fight sequences, we’re soon hanging out on the beach with a bunch of annoying teenagers, including Tillie, who is drowning the sorrow of recently losing her parents by literally drinking constantly in almost every single scene. When she meets the handsome Eastern European Niko, we think there’s some chance of Tillie being saved, but it isn’t meant to be.

Part of what’s so weird is that Dead Reckoning begins in territory familiar to fans of Barkowiak’s movies like Exit Wounds, Cradle 2 the Grave and Maximum Impact but then quickly shifts gears to a soppy teen romance. It’s weird enough to throw you off when at a certain point, it returns to the main plot, which involves Adkins’ terrorist plot and the search by FBI Agent Cantrell (played by James Remar) to find the culprit who killed Tillie’s parents. Oh, the FBI agent is also Tillie’s godfather. Of course, he is.

Beyond the fact that I spent much of the movie wondering what these teens in Nantucket have to do with the opening scene or the overall premise, this is a movie that anything that could be resembling talent or skill in Barkowiak’s filmmaking is long gone. Going past the horrendous writing – at one point, the exasperated and quite xenophobic Cantrell exclaims, “It’s been a nightmare since 9/11... who knows what's next?” -- or the inability of much of the cast to make it seem like anyone involved cares about making a good movie, the film is strangled by a score that wants to remind you it’s a thriller even as you watch people having fun on the beach on a sunny day.

Eventually, it does get back to the action with a fight between Cantrell and Marco… and then Marco gets into a fight with Tillie’s nice aunt nurse Jennifer where she has a surprisingly amount of fighting skills. There’s also Nico’s best friend who is either British or gay or both, but he spends every one of his scenes acting so pretentious and annoying, you kind of hope he’ll be blown up by terrorists. Sadly, you have to wait until the last act before the surfboards are pulled out.  (Incidentally, filmmakers, please don’t call a character in your movie “Marco,” especially if that character’s name is going to be yelled out repeatedly, because it will just lead to someone in the audience to yell out “Polo!” This is Uwe Boll School of Bad Filmmaking 101!)

The point is that the movie is just all over the place yet in a place that’s even remotely watchable. There even was a point when Tillie was watching the video of her parents dying in a car crash for the third or fourth time, and I just started laughing, since it’s such a slipshod scene.

It’s very likely that Dead Reckoning will claim the honor of being the worst movie I’ve seen this year. Really, the only way to have any fun watching this disaster is to play a drinking game where you take a drink every time Eisley’s character takes a drink. Or better yet, just bail on the movie and hit the bottle, because I’m sure whoever funded this piece of crap is.

Opening at New York’s Film Forum on Wednesday is Manfred Kirchheimer’s FREE TIME (Grasshopper/Cinema Conservancy), another wonderful doc from one of the kings of old school cinema verité documentary filmmaking, consisting of footage of New York City from 1960 that’s pieced together with a wonderful jazz score. Let me tell you that Kirschheimer’s work is very relaxing to watch and Free Time is no exception. Plus the hour-long movie will premiere in Film Forum’s Virtual Cinema, accompanied by Rudy Burckhardt’s 1953 film Under the Brooklyn Bridge which captures Brooklyn in the ‘50s.

Also opening in Film Forum’s Virtual Cinema Friday is Hong Khaou’s MONSOON (Strand Releasing) starring Henry Golding (Crazy Rich Asians) as Kit, who returns to Ho Chi Minh City for the first time since his family fled after the Vietnam War when he was six. As he tries to make sense of it, he ends in a romance with Parker Sawyers’ American ex-pat and forms a friendship with a local student (Molly Harris). Unfortunately, I didn’t have the chance to watch this one before finishing up this column but hope to catch soon, because I do like Golding as an actor.

I shared my thoughts on Werner Herzog and Clive Oppenheimer’s FIREBALL: VISITORS FROM DARK WORLDS, when it played at TIFF in September, but this weekend, it will debut on Apple TV+.  It’s another interesting and educational science doc from Herr Herzog, this time teaming with the younger Cambridge geoscientist and “volcanologist” to look at the evidence left behind by meteors that have arrived within the earth’s atmosphere, including the races that worship the falling space objects.

Opening at the Metrograph this week (or rather on its website) is Shalini Kantayya’s documentary CODED BIAS, about the widespread bias in facial recognition and the algorithms that affect us all, which debuted Weds night and will be available on a PPV basis and will be available through November 17. The French New Wave anthology Six In Paris will also be available as a ticketed movie ($8 for members/$12 for non-members) through April 13. Starting Thursday as part of the Metrograph’s “Live Screenings” is Steven Fischler and Joel Sucher’s Free Voice of Labor: The Jewish Anarchists from 1980. Fischler’s earlier doc Frame Up! The imprisonment of Martin Sostre from 1974 will also be available through Thursday night.

Sadly, there are just way too many movies out this week, and some of the ones I just wasn’t able to get to include:

Dating Amber (Samuel Goldwyn) The Giant (Vertical) I Am Greta (Hulu) Dirty God (Dark Star Pictures) Where She Lies (Gravitas Ventures) Maybe Next Year (Wavelength Productions) Come Away (Relativity) Habitual (National Amusements) The Ride (Roadside Attractions, Forest, ESX) Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (Netflix) Transference: A Love Story (1091) Sasquatch Among the Wildmen (Uncork’d) All Joking Aside (Quiver Distribution) Secret Zoo (MPI Medi Group/Capelight Pictures)

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, I think you’re very special and quite good-looking. Feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honest!

[vivienna-vivid]

The masters of Red have no personalities so I made them up.

Feend vor Sembren

Ah yes, Nasuverse!Edgeworth

Strict AF college professor who actually cares about his students. They affectionately call him “Professor Fiend”.

W O R K A H O L I C

A total romantic who loves his wife and son. If only he made a habit of actually coming home…

Did you know this man is 52??? Did you know his son Fezgram is 24???

The only one here who knows how to be a functional member of society.

Pretty heavy smoker, so he has a raspy voice.

Surprisingly, Feenie’s a connoisseur of wine. Kayneth introduced him to a lotta high-end alchohol in their college days.

Yes, he knew Kayneth. They were good friends before Kayneth bit the dust.

I dare you to make vore jokes in front of him. I dare you. You’ll die but at least it’ll be fun.

Listens to a lot of 70s-80s bands. In case you’re wondering, he’s a big fan of Queen and Fleetwood Mac.

Pretty technologically advanced for a mage. His pragmatism towards technology was inspired by a certain gun-wielding magus killer.

Was married into the Vor Sembren family. Since he was born a poor boy, he’s always trying to prove himself.

His parents were Chinese Singaporeans, so he’s fluent in Mandarin.

Feenie’s magecraft focuses on transmutation. With select materials, he can transmute one thing into another. He mainly uses his magecraft to heal wounds and create pseudo organs and flesh.

Has at one point intimidated a person by showing them a transmuted heart and lying that it’s theirs.

His wish for the Grail is… Well, he plans to give the Grail to the Association, so he doesn’t particularly care about the Grail.

It’s to run away from mage society with his family

Rottweil Berzinsky

OH BOY LOOK AT THIS DISASTER.

Australian. Because of that, he has a noice Australian accent.

S H A R P   T E E F S

Man’s been in too much explosions

His Crowley-esque shades hides his lizard eyes.

“If I’m gonna do horrible things, at least I can make them FUN”

Think: Steve Irwin but borderline psychopath.

Is surprisingly good with kids! Rott’s the kinda guy who’d chastise a child for being mean and/or rude, but would teach them how to stab assholes. “Y’see a weird man offering candy from his van. Wha’dya do? Shank ‘im!”

Man’s a natural prankster. He’ll prank E V E R Y O N E and A N Y T H I N G.

Likes: Sunbathing. Hates: Cold weather and winter.

Thinks Gene Rum is a cooooooooooooold bitch with a stick up her arse.

Gene and Rott has some history. Both tend to be employed by the same people.

Rott may be a murderer, but he has standards! No killing children, no harming children, if employer does anything to children he will kill them.

Has killed more employers than actual hit targets.

In the manga, Rott can change into silver lizard form. He doesn’t like changing his form since the more he uses that ability, the more monstrous and mindless he becomes.

Rott is indeed a Chimera, a mage who is able to turn into an animal to some degree. He didn’t become a Chimera from his own volition, so that’s also a reason why he rarely uses his ability.

As a Chimera, he’s gained some lizard perks even in his human form. For starters, his saliva is toxic and has lizard eyes. He also can shed his skin to heal certain wounds. In Chimera form, he’s covered in nigh-indestructible scales.

Rott was an orphan who was adopted by a mage named Zagreus Berzinsky. The man wanted to create mythical beast of yore by forcefully fusing children with all kinds of beasts. Rott was one of those children.

Rott was able to escape with a few kids. Eventually, they made their way to the Clocktower. While he himself never went to school, he 100% made sure his “younger siblings” are enrolled in the Clocktower. It’s for their safety.

His wish for the Grail is for an antidote for Chimeratization. Oh! And to kill off Zagreus too!

Gene (Jean?) Rum

Gene, short for Genevieve. (Or Jean, short for Jeanette)

Straight-laced lipstick lesbian.

Likes books because, unlike people, they’re actually engaging. Nah she’s just a bit awkward and self-conscious.

Grew up reading Shakespeare, Arabian Nights, and Grimm’s Fairy Tales.

Since she’s broken into Ivan the Terrible’s library at least once, I can tell you that she’s a professional lock-picker. Wizard who took a level in Rogue.

Fluent in many languages due to her time abroad.

Favorite Genre: Russian Literature

HAS PUBLISHED HER OWN POETRY BOOK!! Though, it’s under a pseudonym and bringing it up will make her really embarrassed.

Thinks Rottweil is a bITCH-ASS MOTHERFUCKER.

Gene doesn’t care much about the morality of her employers. As long as she gets paid, she won’t stick her nose in her employer’s business.

You’d think she’d have Mystic Eyes what with her chilling side-eye.

Loves puns but you’d be hard-pressed to get her to laugh at one in public.

Finished her education in the Clocktower but chose to lead a life of a mercenary. Her family was… pretty miffed.

Never attends family meetups.

Org Rum is her little brother and his presence turns on her latent Cain instincts.

Do you have your rival family’s documents? Do you want to ruin them by exposing these documents but they’re encrypted? HIRE GENE RUM TODAY!

Gene’s magecraft focuses of aeromancy, the control of wind.

Her most famous technique is the ability to make thread-thin tornado chakrams. Anyone who touches these tordano-wheels will get sliced. If she focuses a bit harder, she can imbue her chakrams with lightning.

She makes those storm-threads with a small buckler-sized spinning wheel she bring along. It’s her mystic code and she’s very protective of it.

Cabik Pentel

The current patriarch of the Pentel Clan, a family of esoteric assassins/mercenary group.

Hardly ever emotes so it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking.

But he’s usually very honest and won’t sugar nor exaggerate his words.

The only reason he’s can understand other people (to a degree) is because his brother is such a good person.

Yeah, Cabik loves his brother very much. And as such, he loves his brother’s twin daughters. He’s somewhat of a cool uncle to them.

Doesn’t quite know how he feels about being patriarch since the clan is awful as all hell. He’s good at being an assassin, so he’ll continue the work in the meantime.

BOY ONLY KNOWS HOW TO KILL PEOPLE HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HUMAN, BLESS HIM.

Proud father of houseplants and a cat

Q: Weren’t you and your brother called “The Gum Brothers” in college?

A: ………………………………………Ah. So you’ve chosen death.

How many daggers does this man have? A LOT

Seriously, you’d think he has a limit to how many daggers he can carry but. No. He just… fucking pops out another pair if the ones he’s using are lost.

His twin knives are called Rahu and Ketu and he loves them very much.

The Pentels specialty magecraft is body modification. Cabik uses this to make his body pliable as fuck.

This bitch can basically make his body have the consistency of a ferret’s.

Need to dodge? Fuckin’ dislocate your spine! Gutted? Move your organs upwards to not make them fall!

Deimlet Pentel

The older brother of the Pentel siblings. Supposed to be the next family patriarch but left that position for his brother.

Big teddy bear man. Big teddy bear wrestler man.

“HAHAHA!! I AM HERE!!” -Deimlet (and totally not All Might)

Divorced man of two daughters. BUT!! HE STILL LOVES HIS EX-WIFE VERY MUCH!!!

“I may want to remarry my ex-wife. Or not, haha……. Unless…;)?”

Stronk dad to stronk daughters. He taught them how to wrestle and….. he’s so proud of them ;’)

MADE OF LITERAL SUNSHINE!! IF YOU SEE THE SUN IN MIDNIGHT, YOU MIGHT BE LOOKING AT DEIM!!

Super protective of his mustache. It’s his magnum opus so do nOT MESS IT UP

Legitimately hates the Pentels, but still loves his baby bro.

Q: Weren’t you and your brother called “The Gum Brothers” in college?

A: What? I didn’t hear you there! Mind *cracks fingers* saying that again?

While he married out of love, his responsibilities as heir-apparent (and assassin) made him incredibly distant to his family. 

When he was tasked to kill his then-wife’s brother’s family, he did so with much hesitation. Because of that, his brother-in-law nearly killed him and ended up dying anyway.

His wife was… not happy, to say the least. That’s why they divorced and she took the kids.

And that’s how he left the family! Killing, as it turns out, sucks ass!!

Good ending tho: he moved to Finland and started tutoring the Edelfelt kids in wrestling.

He’s… actually a masked wrestler there. He’s been on TV a bunch of times!

Joined the HGW mainly to make sure Cabik is doing fine.

Uses his family’s magecraft to super harden his body. 

You can’t gut this man ‘cause he made hIS BODY INTO LITERAL STONE!!

Man is just Indian Alex Louis Armstrong. Thatse it! He cannot change this!

[hallie-fics]

author spotlight - restlessqueenx

“If you get yourself killed doing this,” Harry murmurs, his hand on the back of her neck, his forehead warm where it's leaning against hers, “I will never ever forgive you.”

- Someday I’ll Need Your Spine to Hide Behind @restlessqueenx

it’s not hard to note the fics that define a fandom. this author has written three, three defining stories. the amount of love and respect i have for them is immense, and i was honored to be able to ask and receive answers for these various questions regarding everything from their writing process to favorite hallie headcanon. 

this is only the first in a series of interviews done with hallie authors. if there’s anyone who you’d like to see, please message me and i’ll get that sorted out right away!

the q&a

*quick note, I tend to shorten my titles when talking about them because I always pick such long titles, so I may refer to Someday I’ll Need Your Spine to Hide Behind as “Spine,” It Feels Like Winter Follows You Around as “Winter” and Screaming at the Stars as “Stars”

Favorite of your stories (and why)

I think, at least right now, it has to be Someday I’ll Need Your Spine to Hide Behind, because it’s complete. Also, because Winter (Harry’s POV) wouldn’t exist without it (I had never intended to write it, and it just sort of happened), and Screaming at the Stars is probably more in the vein of what I normally write, but I can’t decide how satisfied I am with it until I wrap it up.

Easiest story to write

Probably Screaming at the Stars because it just sort of showed up as this emotion in my chest and I knew I wanted to put it down on the page. Spine was pretty time consuming because it’s canon divergent and I was constantly having to check scenes to get the dialogue/descriptions right. I wanted to use as much of canon as I could, but that meant that I couldn’t really write it if I wasn’t home with the episodes available. Winter was (is) difficult because of how dark of a headspace I sometimes have to get into with Harry. Stars is overall a much lighter emotional space to access.

Hardest story to write

Spine, just because of how much work it took to weave the canon with the canon divergence and reframe scenes. Winter is easier because (even though it does include some scenes that aren’t in Spine) I have the blueprint of Spine to refer to, and I reuse some sections of it word for word to highlight the difference in POV when it diverges. Winter is definitely emotionally heavier, but it’s less tedious work.

Pre-writing process (if any)

For me, it depends a lot on the fic. With Spine, the very first thing that came to me was “What if I wrote a soulmate AU where the only thing that indicates that is that wherever you fall asleep, you always wake up where your soulmate is?” Then I thought, “Could this be set in the canon universe? How would that potentially just twist around or change what we’ve seen?” And everything spiralled out from there. I didn’t really outline initially, I started writing it, just to see where it was going. Then I ended up having to go through every episode and watch each Harry, Allie, and Hallie scene and write basic outlines of the dialogue and what happened in those scenes so I could start to figure out how to adjust the scenes/story to fit the soulmate AU idea. I’m not very patient about outlines, so I mostly just bullet point brief descriptions of what I need to write and then re-examine the scene as I’m writing. I’ve never written something that relied so heavily on canon before. It’s a lot of work and I’m really impressed by people who do it regularly. So Spine’s pre-writing was basically an idea on a twisted trope (I don’t know if I’m the first person to think of it, but I’ve never read a soulmate au with the basis of Spine before) and then watching/transposing the canon scenes. Winter didn’t really have any since I had Spine as a basis. Stars I started thinking about while taking a shower and I just jumped right into it.

What drew you to Hallie?

I love ships that I see potential for, but aren’t all neatly worked out immediately in canon. And I love ships that I feel the characters have a lot of potential to grow and change as individuals within the relationship. I was a little unsure about Hallie at first as I was watching the show, because it took me a while to work out how I felt about Harry in general, but I just see so much potential for a great story between them. And, to be quite honest, Kathryn and Alex just have loads and loads of on screen chemistry, they just light up with each other in scenes. Sometimes actors just have that with each other and it’s almost hard to look away.

Hopes for season 2

Growth and help for Harry! I’m okay with having to wait for romantic Hallie (presuming we get more seasons) as long as keeping them apart feels organic and true to the story (and not done solely for tension & keeping the audience coming back), but I need to see Harry receive help (I get that he can’t get professional help in these circumstances, but he really needs people who are genuinely looking out for him and trying to help him) and to also grow as a person and make better decisions/amends for some of his actions. I want Harry to have friends/people who actually care about him. While I really love Kelly’s character, and appreciate that she’s tried to keep an eye out for him, I think Harry needs people in his life outside of just an ex (and obviously outside of Campbell) and that’s pretty much all he’s had for a while. Harry’s so isolated in season 1, and I don’t see him being able to develop much (in a positive manner) if he continues to be so isolated in season 2.

Favorite line (or lines) that you’ve written for a hallie fic/ a section that you’re really proud of

From Spine, probably my favorite pieces are-

Allie tells him to leave like it matters, like come morning she won't find herself curled in his bed, close enough to feel his body heat. She tells him to go, because she wants to hate him, thinks she deserves to hate him, but she doesn't. And that's even worse.

And then the end, which I wrote long before I actually got to it. Specifically-

“There's probably a world somewhere,” Harry says, and his voice rumbles through his chest, against her skin, “where we never worked any of this out, and you and I are on opposite sides and always will be.”

“Probably.” It wouldn't be hard, she thinks, to have ended up somewhere else, anywhere else. They fought for this, a small sliver of peace in a fucked up world. It might be all they get.

“I'm glad it's not this one.”

“Me too.” Under her cheek, his heartbeat is steady, in sync with hers.

From Winter my absolute favorite section so far is the flashback to Harry when he’s 13 & deals with his familial relationships. I also am pretty happy with-

Allie is simultaneously fragile and hard as steel, one for a moment, the other the next. Harry doesn't understand it, how she can bear to wear her feelings to blatantly on her face, how she survives without a protective shell to keep her safe. He could never do that. She doesn't burrow down inside herself, she burns. He almost can't even watch it. Harry doesn't know what he is, but he knows Allie is something else entirely.

And-

She lets out a little shaky exhale. “I don't know how to hate you.”

Harry wonders how that can be. It's easy, he wants to say, if she doesn't already, all she needs to do is crack open his ribs, see that dark void yawning underneath, that place he falls into. But Allie isn't like him, even her darkest moods and thoughts are full of fire, casting light. Allie burns things down, she doesn't swallow them up.

He tells her the truth, one he's known for a long time. “I do.”

And, finally-

She's not starlight or sunlight or candlelight, she's a forest fire. When she leans into him, skin fever hot and her nails biting into his shoulders, he wonders if her inferno could burn the darkness right out from behind his ribs. Harry thinks he could be reduced to ashes, but he'd still let her try.

From Stars, I’m a little less sure, but I do like this part-

Just outside the doors, she catches a glimpse of Harry, head thrown back, laughing, his friends crowding close to him like moths to a flame, like they can't help it. Harry's always been magnetic. Allie remembers his face in the moonlight, the way she'd felt compelled to lean closer. It wasn't her fault; if you get close enough to Harry, he draws you into his orbit, planets rotating around a sun, basking in his light. Even now, her feet ache to drift in his direction. Those aren't her friends, he's not her friend anymore, but his gravitational pull is strong.

What type of Hallie stories do you like to write/read? (canon divergence, modern au, soulmate au, etc)

I’m an AU girl at heart, which is ironic considering 2 of my 3 Hallie fics are canon divergent. But really, I’m a big fan of AUs, almost any of them, I love them so much. I think I get more and more attracted to them the further I get into a show (the more seasons) because canon gets more confining as you have more of it. I think the kind of AU I like the most depends on the ship. I like soulmate AUs (obviously, I wrote one, lol) for Hallie because they have a history of not being super fond of each other & it’s a great way to force them to interact.

Favorite Hallie trope?

I think…. maybe Bed Sharing? You may notice that I write it into like everything I write ever. I just love the intimacy of it and the conversations people can have late at night in the dark or sleepy in the early morning. I dunno. It’s a thing for me, I guess.

Favorite Hallie headcanon?

I haven’t written it into anything (yet), but I have this mental picture of Modern AU Hallie getting really competitive about playing boardgames with each other. That has a soft spot in my heart.

How long have you been writing for?

Pretty much as long as I can remember. The first thing I can remember writing (like thinking I was seriously writing something people would want to read) was this ridiculous story about unicorn royalty when I was about seven years old. I never finished it, but I think I actually did write like at least a couple thousand words before I quit. I have hundreds of beginnings of original works, literally several hundred, but most of them are only a few hundred words. My parents always encouraged me to write, so it was just something I did pretty much ever since I physically could.

How has your writing style evolved over time?

Oh, I’m not even sure where to begin with this. Because I’ve been writing since I was really young, it’s definitely evolved a lot, some of it just through age and getting a better grasp of language, and some of it deliberately. I think when I was younger, I tried really hard to mimic the styles of writers I liked, and I’ve definitely moved away from that as I’ve gotten older and found my own voice. I’m not trying to sound like anyone in particular now. That’s not to say I don’t find other writers influential, I certainly do, but I’m not actively attempting to write in someone else’s style. I think everyone who writes is always evolving. You can’t help but be influenced by everything you read and absorb.

Do you ever worry about how your stories are received?

All the time. I only have 3 works on the restlessqueen AO3, but I think I’ve posted about 25 fanfictions over various platforms/accounts for various fandoms and ships, and I get nervous about them every time. Whenever I write something, I usually get this glow of like “Oh, I’ve done something and I like it!” and then that sort of slowly wears off and I start to just question everything about it. I don’t know anyone who feels 100% confident about the stuff they post. I think I’m a little less nervous about it than I used to be, because people have been very kind to me for the most part (I have one old fic from around 2012/13 that got a couple of comments that still haunt me a bit, but other than that I’ve had good experiences) and so that’s helped ease some of my fears. I think what makes me the most worried now is when I post something and I just don’t get much feedback or it takes quite a while for responses to roll in, because I’m always thinking like “is it really so bad no one has literally anything to say?? Is it that bad and I didn’t realize it?” Also, I’m a bit insecure about my descriptive writing, I feel like I don’t do a very good job of describing location/setting, and it’s something I’m working on. I’m always a little scared someone will say they basically just didn’t get any sort of mental picture from what I write.

What’s the hardest part of writing for you?

Focus. I have so many ideas always bouncing around my head, but I get distracted super easily. I can’t ever seem to only do one thing at a time. If I’m writing, I’m definitely either listening to music or sometimes even playing a podcast in the background because it’s like if there’s any free space at all in my brain, I just completely lose my ability to do anything. It’s a big struggle for me. I actually write with the most focus when I’m supposed to be doing something else. I wrote 150k worth of an original piece by writing when I was supposed to be taking notes in history class in high school. In fact, a lot of my fanfiction has been written during lectures, because somehow if I’m supposed to be focusing on something else, I’m almost always the most productive version of my writing self. I wish I were different, though.

Do you get writer’s block and if so how do you deal with it?

Ugh. Unfortunately. I’m not great at handling writer’s block, tbh. Sometimes I just don’t write for a long time. I think reading can sometimes oust me from it, but not always. The worst is that occasionally I have to just push through it and write my way out of it (which basically means just writing really uninspired crap until I manage to find some inspiration again). I do think that talking to someone about what I’m working on is a big help, though it’s not always an available option. I’m part of a writing group, and I usually feel really inspired after we’ve had a writing discussion.

Biggest risk you’ve ever taken as a writer?

Wow, this is actually a really hard question. I feel like I’m not a big risk taker, and this is making me wonder if maybe I should try to take more writing risks. I guess most recently it could be creating the restlessqueen AO3. I made it because I have written quite a few fics for a pretty large fandom and I had gotten comfortable within that space and I thought it would be good for me to step outside of that world for a bit. I think it really has been, too.

again, the biggest of thanks to @restlessqueenx for doing this with me! to anyone who hasn’t read any of these fics, please do so immediately. each of them are amazing and i will never step recommending them!

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Secret Santa

Summary: The reader is participating in the SPN cast & crew Secret Santa exchange for the first time when she ends up drawing Jensen’s name...

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 4,400ish

Warnings: none

A/N: Written for a friend :) Enjoy!...

You yawned as you rested your head in your hand, watching the camera reset back into position, Jensen smiling from the other side of the table in the bunker set.

“What are you looking at goof?” you asked, smiling back at him.

“Uh, it’s the first day back from Thanksgiving break,” he said, still wearing that big charming smile.

“Yes, because we’re all overjoyed to be working a 12 hour day after having the past week off,” you teased.

“Oh, I forgot. You’re a rookie,” he teased right back.

“Rookie mistake?” asked your A camera operator.

“Rookie mistake,” said Jensen with a tsk.

“Rookie mistake, Y/L/N? I thought we knew you better than that by now,” said your B camera operator before the small crew in the bunker library was all sharing giggles.

“I hate working with all of you,” you said, biting your bottom lip when they started to laugh. “Come on, one more take and we all get to go home.”

“Rookie mistake,” said the boom guy, your jaw dropping.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. Even I know-” said Alex before Jensen held up a hand.

“Ah, ah. Don’t be spoiling nothing for the rookie, pup,” said Jensen with a smirk.

“If it makes you feel any better, I was rookie last year,” said Alex. “Also, I am so calling you old man from now on.”

“Old man can kick your ass, pup,” said Jensen. Alex opened his mouth but realized Jensen probably very well could. “Besides, let’s not ruin the surprise, hm?”

“You are such a tease. Every last one of you,” you said, pointing at them all.

“Duh. You knew what you signed up for in the spring,” said Jensen, getting a waving finger. “Yeah, yeah. Come on rookie and pup, let’s finish this up so we can get to the good stuff.”

You heard a knock at your trailer door as you finished packing up your bag to go home, slinging it over your shoulders before you pulled the door open.

“Hi,” said Jensen, standing there with a tired but friendly smile. “Heading home?”

“After the staff meeting. I don’t feel like we’ve ever gotten one at the end of a day. Is this normal?” you asked, grabbing your phone and car keys, locking up your trailer after yourself.

“It’s nothing to worry about. It’s a fun thing we do for the holidays around here is all,” he said. “I...the rookie thing wasn’t bothering you today, was it? I know we can take that stuff a bit far sometimes.”

“No,” you said, bumping his shoulder, giving him a smile. “I’m just a bit tired.”

“Tired? We just had a week off,” he said, adjusting his own backpack as you walked.

“My break wasn’t awesome. You know how family can be,” you said.

“Not particularly. My family’s always gotten along, even if we all are a bit weird and dorky,” he said. “I realize why you sounded so off in our phone calls now though.”

“I traveled all the way to Maine to deal with...sorry. We’re going to do something fun you said?” you asked.

“Yeah,” he said, throwing an arm over your shoulders. “Rookie.”

“Okay, this is technically my second season on the show so-”

“Technically it’s your first full season on the show. Guest starring end of last season don’t count. Rookie,” he teased.

“You’ll pay for that, Ackles,” you said, booping him on the nose.

“Oh will I, Y/L/N?” he said, moving his arm around to pull you in front of him, starting to give you a noogie.

“Jensen. Jensen Ross Ackles! You are at your place of work, young man!” you said, Jared snorting as you watched him walk past.

“This is the most professional he’s ever acted,” said Jared, squishing your cheeks together before he headed towards set, Jensen chuckling as he helped get most of your hair out of your face.

“Boys,” you said, grabbing Jensen’s arm when he almost tripped over a set of cables running on the ground. “Careful, Jay. It’s your turn to buy dinner.”

“Ah, I see why you keep me around,” he said, righting himself, walking a little more slowly across the lot over to the bunker set. You yawned and rocked back on your heels, ready for some dinner in Jensen’s apartment and followed by a hot soaking bath in your own before bed.

A good chunk of the cast and crew was there, everyone lining up and jotting something down on slips of paper before they tossed them in a big basket.

“Write your name down,” said Jensen when you got up there. You did as told, placing it in the basket and moving aside, the line finishing up quickly after you. Someone turned a big handle on the basket and the paper jumbled together, mixing it all up.

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen. The 2018 Supernatural Secret Santa has the same rules as last year. $25 dollar limit. Only one secret santa per person. Gift exchange will take place on the last day of filming this year, right before the winter break. Any questions, please contact Nina, one of our lovely costume designers or myself as we are heading up the exchange this year. Does anyone have any questions?” asked Chad. “No? Alright. Step up and pick a name. If you draw your own name, stick it back in and draw again. Alright let’s go. I got a Buffalo Bills game to get home to.”

“He’s a fan of the Bills?” you whispered to Jensen. “Seriously?”

“Take pity on him. He’s Canadian,” whispered Jensen. It took a minute to get the line going again but once it was, people were out of there, saying goodnight to each other once they got their names.

Jensen shoved his hand inside and quickly glanced at the paper he’d grabbed before shoving it in his pocket. He stepped out of the way, waiting for you. You were glad you were tired because you were pretty sure your face would have shown who you’d gotten.

Jensen Ackles

You folded the paper up and put it in your jeans, Jensen smiling when you caught up with him.

“Get someone good?” he asked. You whipped your head up, giving him a smile.

“Mhm,” you said. “You?”

“Yup,” he said, stealing your car keys out of your hand. “I drive, you run in and pick it up on the way home?”

“Did you order yet?” you asked.

“Just did,” he said, twirling your keys around. You passed Cliff and Jared on the way to your car, Jensen saying he was riding home with you. Occasionally he did get a ride in with you and sometimes he even convinced you to come in with him if you were on the same shooting schedule for the day. He didn’t often drive for you though and you wondered what was on his mind.

“Hey, Jen,” you said once your seatbelt was on. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” he said with a smile. You nodded, Jensen sighing.

“Just going home for the holidays...it can be a bit lonely, you know?” he said. “My siblings all have spouses and families and I’m the one crashing in my childhood bedroom by myself having my parents convince me I’m not a lost cause.”

“You know what you need right now?” you said, Jensen turning in his seat. You reached your hand out and traced a finger under his jaw, Jensen staring to laugh as you tickled him.

“Y/N, Y/N, I need to drive!” he laughed, squirming away until you finally relented. “I’m not even ticklish there.”

“Sure, you’re not,” you teased, scratching his jaw as Jensen chuckled. “I wanted to see a smile on that face of yours.”

“You always make me feel better when I’m down,” he said, smiling at you before suddenly turning away. “We should head out.”

After dinner at Jensen’s you headed down a few floors and to the other side of the building to your place, settling into your soaking tub, playing with some bubbles while you tried to think of what to possibly get him. A gift card was easy since you knew where he shopped and ate out. But it was impersonal and Jensen was your best friend. You were planning on getting him an actual Christmas present, had gotten it already, a pair of tickets to some pro golf thing where he could basically swing around clubs with the pros for a few hours and get some pointers. It sounded expensive but once you factored in the family discount your mom had swung for you with her friend, it was practically no cost at all.

You wanted to do something like that again, something he’d really love. All you kept thinking of though was stupid crap like an extra phone charger or heaven forbid, socks. You jolted up in the tub when your phone rang, quickly climbing out and grabbing it without looking.

“Hello?” you asked.

“Hey, Y/N,” said Jensen. “Just me.”

“Oh, hey. What’s up?” you asked, throwing on your robe and undoing the tub. You walked into your bedroom, frowning at the clock. “I thought you were heading to bed early, catch up on some sleep.”

“Um...I did. I...shit, forget about it,” he said. “Night.”

He hung up and you pouted, calling him back but getting no answer.

“Ackles…” you grunted. You threw on your pajamas and grabbed your key, heading up to his apartment, knocking more than a few times before it opened up.

“What-”

“You call me like that and then don’t answer? Of course I’m coming to check on you,” you said, walking past him into the dark apartment. He sighed and closed the door, rubbing his eyes. His hair was tousled, shirt a little off. “You were asleep before.”

“Yeah. I was just about back asleep too when you showed up,” he said.

“Well why’d you call me?” you asked.

“I had a nightmare, alright?” he said, rubbing one of his arm, pulling at the sleeve of his t shirt. “I just...I’m fine. I just wanted to hear your voice for a second. I shouldn’t have bothered you.”

“Do you want me to stay over tonight?” you asked.

“What? No, seriously, Y/N. I’m fine. I shouldn’t-”

“Jensen,” you said. “There was totally that time I freaked out over a noise and you spent the night in my apartment because I was scared.”

“That was different,” he said.

“What? Boys aren’t allowed to be scared?” you said.

“No, we are. I just…” he said, scratching his head. “You aren’t leaving, are you.”

“You have a guest room. I’ll crash here, okay? If you have another nightmare, I’ll come wake you up,” you said. He opened his mouth but you put your hands on your hips, Jensen dropping his head. You stepped over and gave him a hug, Jensen tensing at the contact for a moment before he relaxed and returned it.

“You were in an accident. I couldn’t save you,” he said quietly. You looked up at him, Jensen staring across the room, avoiding your gaze. “The nightmare.”

“I’m right here, Jay,” you said, giving him a smile, wrapping your arms even tighter before you leaned back, picking him up off the ground, and let out a whoof. “You are heavier than I thought you’d be.”

“Well put me down, goofball,” he chuckled. You shook your head and slowly waddled down the hall to his bed, Jensen laughing his ass off by the time you got there.

“We are so doing a piggyback ride next time,” you said, bonking his nose when he was set down, throwing his covers back on him, a smile on his face. “Night, Jens.”

“Night, Y/N.”

You woke up to Jensen shaking you awake, eyes flashing open.

“Morning,” he said sleepily. “You got a eight am call time. Better get downstairs if you want to be on time.”

“Yeah, thanks,” you said, stretching for a second before you rolled out of bed and stepped into your slippers. “Sleep okay?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly, a bit of color in cheeks that was barely noticeable. “Thanks for last night. I mean, making sure I was okay.”

“S’never a problem, Jensen,” you said, yawning as you walked down the hall. “I’ll see you at work later.”

“Later, Y/L/N.”

You were taking a break between scenes on Tuesday, heading back to your trailer when you saw an envelope taped to the outside of it.

Your Secret Santa

“Oh, this’ll be good,” you said, ripping it off and heading into your trailer. You tore it open, pulling open a small typed out piece of paper.

Y/N,

I’m your Secret Santa. I know you’re new to set this year but I feel like you’ve been having a good time working with us all. We certainly enjoy working with you. You’re not only very talented, but kind and humble as well, something you may take for granted but I don’t, especially in this industry. Your personality has been refreshing around here and quite honestly, I look forward to the times I get to work with the cute new girl. Here’s to figuring out the perfect gift for you.

From,

Your SS

“Oh my…” you said, a knock at your door making you shriek. You heard Jensen chuckle as you called him in, Jensen laughing when you pursed your lips at him. “You startled me.”

“Scaredy cat,” he said, hopping up on your kitchen counter. “What’s that?”

“This? This is a letter from my secret santa,” you said, handing it to him.

“Letters aren’t a part of the exchange,” said Jensen reading it over. “Oh. Sounds like your secret santa has a bit of a crush on you.”

“Well that’s obvious,” you said, taking the letter back.

“Are you freaked out or…” said Jensen.

“No, no. I’m surprised is all,” you said. “What are the odds that someone who has a crush on me would be my secret santa?”

“About one in two fifty?” teased Jensen. You rolled your eyes and took a seat. “You think someone’s messing with you?”

“Jared does like to prank me,” you said.

“Yes but Jared doesn’t pull pranks like that. You got an admirer out there somewhere,” said Jensen with a smile. “It’s cute.”

“Yeah. I really need to figure out my own secret santa though before I can investigating who has a crush,” you said.

“Need any help?” asked Jensen. You laughed, shaking your head.

“No, no. I can handle it. Want to run some lines?” you asked.

“Sure thing, rookie.”

Friday afternoon you got back to your chair at the end of your filming day, cocking your head at the green envelope sat in it.

“Oh, did the secret santa strike again?” teased Jared, laughing as you whacked his arm.

“Another letter? Lucky you,” joined in Jensen, collecting his things before he ran back to his trailer to change for another scene. You shoved your phone in your pocket and headed back for your own, tearing open the letter while you walked.

Y/N,

I hope my first letter didn’t startle you. I know you’re the kind of girl that’ll put on a tough face so I really do hope I didn’t cross a line. You’ll find out who I am soon. I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that whole you’re cute thing since now you’re going to know exactly who has a crush on you and I won’t be able to deny it.

Forgetting my current embarrassment and most likely future rejection for the time being, I think I’ve found the perfect gift for you.

Have a great weekend, Y/N. You absolutely killed it this week.

From,

Your SS

“Wow,” said Jared. You jumped when you felt him right behind you, reading over your shoulder. “Poor dude thinks he’s already screwed it up just by calling you cute.”

“Jare, privacy?” you asked, folding up the sheet and shoving it back in the envelope.

“Oh, alright,” said Jared with a smirk. “I’ll just go on my merry old way then…”

“You know who it is, don’t you,” you said.

“Uh, duh,” said Jared.

“Want to help a girl out then?” you asked.

“Nope. I was given full permission to reveal I know who he is though because quote, ‘he doesn’t want to seem like a weirdo creeper’ to you,” said Jared. “Trust me, he’s the exact opposite.”

“Well you can tell him it’s fine. It’s cute, like someone leaving notes in my locker in school,” you said.

“I’ll be sure to pass it along,” said Jared, ruffling your head. “I’m heading home for the weekend. See you on Monday?”

“Have a safe flight,” you said, giving him a quick hug. Back in your trailer you worked on answering a few emails before you wound up hopelessly searching for Jensen’s perfect present.

Your secret santa had a crush on you and he’d easily found one for you. How come you couldn’t do the same for Jensen? Maybe you weren’t ready to admit out loud to him that you had a crush but deep down you knew that’s what it was. It was simple though, to write it off as having a good time with your best friend and nothing more. At least that’s what you’d been telling yourself despite all of the obvious signs.

Plus with this new crush out there, maybe this was exactly what you needed. It was probably one of the new guys this year, maybe Nate in production. He’d always been a little flirty in the breakfast line in the morning, sometimes showing you around the future set builds. He knew Jared pretty well and he was sweet.

“Rookie!” you heard, a loud banging on your door. You shut your computer and pushed away the thought, opening the door to find Jensen standing there with a cocked head. “What are you still doing here?”

“I was doing some work,” you said.

“It’s like after eight, Y/N,” he said. You closed your eyes, leaning your head back as the time had gotten away from you. “You work too hard, I swear.”

“I got distracted with thinking of the secret santa stuff,” you said, rushing back inside and flipping off the lights, grabbing your bag and locking up.

“Want me to walk you to your car?” he asked.

“Nah, I’m fine. You had a long day,” you said, nodding over to where his car was waiting with Cliff. “Night.”

“Night,” he said quietly. You shoved your hands in your pockets as you started to walk, a quick rush of footsteps behind you before Jensen was at your side again. “Don’t tell me you’re fine. I know you don’t like walking alone to your car at night so I’m walking you, alright?”

“Alright. I didn’t know Cliff was teaching you to be a bodyguard, Ackles,” you said.

“Hey. I got scared the other night and you were there for me. I got your back too,” he said. “Besides, you never know what hooligan’s you’ll run into on the trek to the parking lot.”

“Oh yes. Good thing I got Dean Winchester to kick some ass for me if I need it,” you said, bumping his arm. “You heading home this weekend?”

“Yeah. I got a flight at midnight,” he said with a yawn. “Be back in Texas just before six. You doing anything fun this weekend?”

“Nope,” you said with a laugh. “Unless you count watching TV and cleaning my apartment fun.”

“Maybe you can get your secret santa shopping out of the way,” said Jensen. “I’m already done with mine.”

“Seriously? How?” you asked.

“I didn’t overthink it like a certain someone,” he said. “Just get them a gift card and be done with it.”

“Maybe. I’m sure I’ll figure something out soon.”

Two Weeks Later

It was Thursday morning, the last day on set before the break started. You’d come up with absolutely crap all for Jensen, hoping to run out at lunch and find something before you gave him his backup present, a gift card for his favorite restaurant.

Your secret santa had left you a few more sweet notes over the past weeks and you decided that, festering feelings for Jensen aside, you were going to give your secret santa at least one date to see how things went.

“Hey, Y/N,” said Jensen, walking into your trailer as you were heading out to the store at lunch. It was strange of him not to knock and the look on his face worried you more than getting him the wrong present. “Do you got a second? I need to talk to you.”

“Sure,” you said, waving him to take a seat on your couch. “You okay, Jay?”

“I...here,” he said, pulling a card out of his pocket and shoving it in your hands. It was a christmas card, one that put a smile on your face.

“Thanks, Jensen,” you said, opening it, a plane ticket falling out. You caught it in your lap, glancing at him but he was staring at his own.

Y/N,

If you haven’t figured it out by now, it’s me. Jensen. I’m your secret santa. I didn’t plan for this to happen and I was a bit shocked when I pulled out your name but I thought, hey it’s a great opportunity. I knew immediately what I wanted to give you. A plane ticket to come visit me in Austin over break. I hated when we didn’t see each other that much over summer hiatus and I thought maybe you’d want to spend a week with me.

But you’d figure out who your secret santa was if I did that. But it was what I really wanted to give you and you don’t have to come down if you don’t want. So I figured once you would eventually find out who I was, why not man up and tell you about my obnoxious school boy crush on my best friend? I know you’re fully aware that I hardly ever make the first move, but it seemed easier to say I think you’re amazing in a letter somehow. The funny thing is, all those things I’ve said in these letters, I’ve told you in person before. But I don’t think you believed me. I really do believe you’re one of the most incredible people I’ve ever known. Not too many people are like you, have a goodness in them and a genuine care for other people. You take care of me, Y/N. I can be a weird goofball in front of you and it feels so comfortable. I’ve never felt that with another person outside my family, definitely not in another person that I have certain feelings for.

I hope you do decide to come visit and you’ll give me a chance.

J

You lifted your head when you finished reading, tucking the ticket back inside the card. You stood up and grabbed the envelope meant for Jensen on your table, spinning back around to crash straight into his chest, Jensen trying to make a fast break for it.

“Hey,” you said, holding up your hands, giving him the card. “I was your secret santa too.”

“Oh,” he said, opening the card. “It’s for the steakhouse. Thanks.”

“Yeah,” you said, blocking his path out of the trailer. “I was thinking maybe tonight...we could go use that gift card on a date where you can tell me all about the stuff we’re going to do in Austin.”

“Really?” he said, everything so much lighter about him as you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him.

“Yeah. See...I’ve had this crush on my bestie for a while too. But then this secret santa guy was sending me these sweet letters and I swore I was going to go on a date with him because he was too good to be true. But it makes perfect sense now considering it was you,” you said.

“You’re really going to come visit me?” he asked. You nodded, leaning up and pecking a kiss on his cheek.

“Sure am,” you said. Jensen smiled so hard his cheeks had to be hurting. He glanced down at your lips once before pressing his to them, landing a gentle kiss.

“Y/N you want-” said Jared, bursting in through the door, pausing on the step as you and Jensen turned to look at him. “Well. Looks like you two kids are having some fun so I’ll just grab lunch on my own.”

“You knew the whole time,” you said.

“Duh,” said Jared. “I can’t believe she never figured it out.”

“Figured it out when it mattered,” said Jensen. Jared hummed and gave you both a smile, leaving you be. “So...what time should I pick you up for our date?”

“Eight sound good to you, secret santa?” you teased.

“Sounds perfect, Y/N.”

[broonsbraid]

analysis of the uswnt fashion choices simply because i want to fight me woso tumblr

Tierna Davidson: y’all know she’s my fave. my absolute number one. but im pretty disappointed by her dress choice. i love the color, other than that it’s so boring and plain. i think the one shoulder exemplifies that. it just reminds me of a prom dress. to be fair while she doesn’t dress horrible tierna isn’t miss fashion and this is exactly something she would wear. im sorry i have high expectations for my fave okay. sue me. 7/10 (ok i changed it to 7 bc it looks a lot better in the pic she took with becky abby and sam) (to be fair it looks so much more boring farther away since you can’t see the details on it)

becky sauerbrunn: when i first saw becky i first thought “UGH QUEEN” because that’s always my first reaction with Becky? but after a little bit i have to admit i’m not feeling it. i think it could have been better, i don’t know how because i’m not a fashion designer. i like the pattern, that’s unique, and the color is pretty good. just something about it irks me. i do appreciate it being more unique. 7/10

lindsey horan: full disclosure, simple sheek stuff appeals to me. so im loving lindsey’s look okay!! only complaint is the cut is a little awkward on her body type i think. maybe would have been better if it was just straight across (idk fashion terms) 8.7/10

allie long: i don’t know what to feel. i don’t hate it, but i don’t particularly like it either? kind of my feelings for long in general so makes sense. for some reason it makes me think of pajamas? her wedding dress was 👌🏻 so i know she can do better. 5/10

kelley o’hara: an enigma. how does she do it. her outfit isn’t out of this world, but it really just works for her? the pants are a little weird but with how trashed kelley has been the past couple days i can forgive her as she was probably still drunk while picking them. like last time she seriously had a yellow floral dress on and the fact i still remember it means it had a good impression. good job kelley 8/10

tobin heath: oh tobin. i fucking hate suit shorts. they are so ugly. but you make it work. don’t get me wrong it still is appalling but you work it. the fact you are wearing those shoes make it even better, another crazy thing. it’s probably because your other crazy outfit choices just neutralize this one. 6.5/10

alex morgan: oh alex. you can do so much better. it isn’t horrible but it looks like something a 15 year old would wear to their winter formal. we know what you can do, please do it 5/10

emily sonnett: i like it! the top is a little weird but manageable. reminds me of toilet paper. also the part where the white and black meet looks weird. ok so maybe i don’t like it as much as i did starting this. 5.5/10

crystal dunn: i LOVE the bottom of the dress but the top is so unflattering. reminds me of workout clothes or something. would look better if the dress started to flow out higher on the waistline 6/10

megan rapinoe: i trusted this bitch. when she was shown on tv, i could only see the top half of her outfit and i was impressed. a simple black suit jacket and bad ass jewelry. looked like a rocker chic. when i saw her full outfit i died of mortification. would have looked better if the leather shorts were pants. and if she didn’t have those fucking white socks. oh pinoe. my eyes are bleeding. -2/10

carli lloyd: she’s fine i guess. another disappointment because when i first saw her i was like damn!!!! but the fact that it’s a shorter dress with a particular cut that makes her look like she’s attending a funeral makes this look underwhelming. well maybe she’s wearing it because she’s mourning her international career idk 6.5/10

christen press: omg i died seeing her. LOVE the yellow!!! LOVE the black heels!! D. E. A. D. only complaint is i think if the pants weren’t as wide it would have looked a lil better. but that’s me nitpicking 9.5/10

ashlyn harris: oh ashlyn. i like parts of your outfit, and hate other parts. i do like the mesh, not the gray armour shit though. 3/10

rose lavelle: damn girl!!! the white looks really good on her, and i loveeee the off the shoulders look, v elegant. wish it was a longer dress because it would have looked even better. 8/10

mal pugh: at first i barfed, but now im like “okay fine” it just looks like she got fabric from joanne fabric and wrapped it around herself. i have to admit she looked better in that pic with rose. still we know her potential and she didn’t come close to it 5/10

ali krieger: yessss ali!!!! she looked gorgeous! very classy. never have been a fan of the weird cut out she had in her dress but she made it work! now please help ashlyn 9/10

moe brian: love the color! and the dress. but still she could have done a lil more. i know i love plain simple shit, but it was a little too much simple for me. i May be contradicting myself since i loved lindsey’s look, but again fight me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 7/10

sam mewis: i was underwhelmed by this? it just didn’t seem to fit her well. i like the outfit in general, but it just didn’t work. it really bothers me because it’s a cute look but i still didn’t like it lol 6/10

abby dahlkemper: i have the same dilemma here. it isn’t bad, rather cute i guess, but could be better. i think it just doesn’t fit with her. yep that’s it 6/10

AD franch: i wish she went with a darker suit, i think that would have looked even better. but still, like how we can depend on AD to have a good old typical suit 7/10

alyssa naeher: y’all remember when alyssa literally showed up as a nun last ESPYS??!?!? soooo underwhelming and boringggg. but look at this bitch now!!!! im so shook!!! get it girl!!! and also those shoes are super cute!!! ive been dogging on all the short dresses but i can’t say anything bad about this one!! Maybe it’s because it’s alyssa and it’s just so surprising who the fuck knows but wowww queen!! 10/10

jessica mcdonald: she looks nice. again not really a fan of the dress being short but i like the color. she earns bonus points for her cute lil son and his suspenders 😭😭😭 8/10

[mistiedwagonfyre]

M(erry) Monday: Just Some Get to Know You Stuff...

So I got these from moonysmind so I should probably @ them... 

@moonysmind-blog

Ok, let's get this party started! 

1. Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?

Blue if I'm writing something, black if I'm outlining a paper. But overall, black pens are my go-to just because I have more of them. I seriously need to stock up on blue pens... Also, who uses a red pen for anything other than corrections just because that's the way they've been taught? 

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?

The Country. Or somewhere in the middle. I just feel like I'd be able to manage less people over more people and get to know them more personally. And, let's be honest, the country has gorgeous skies and sprawling fields and meadows. And it feels like you could take a deep breath and just absorb the atmosphere. 

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

Balance. It would help in everything because yours truly is a ball of clumsy fluff.

4. Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?

Heh, I drink hot chocolate with marshmallows so...

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

Anything I could get my hands on. I. Love. Books. My favorite series as a kindergartener was the Magic Tree House tho.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

Depends on my mood. Baths are for when I've got tons of time to just relax  and get my mind off things and showers remind me of rain and I love them too. I take showers more often but that doesn't mean anything.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?

This is a hard one cuz I love all things mystical and magical... 

My immediate thought was a dragon but they get killed a lot in the myths and they're almost always stuck guarding something. Then I was like, ok then. What about a phoenix? So ya, I'd be a phoenix. Don't get me wrong, I'd totally go with all the mythical creatures and just cycle through them all, just if I had to choose just one it'd be a phoenix. Maybe, since I'd technically live forever, I could meet every single mythical creature ever. That'd be pwetty cool...

8. Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?

Paper. It's what I've grown up with. I know, classy me. Also, there is nothing quite like the smell of a new book. Just sayin'.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

Punny t-shirts. All I'm gonna say.

10. Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?

Yes. If I had to change it, I'd love to be Reyna or Luna. Otherwise, I'm keeping it.

11. Who is a mentor to you?

Mostly myself. I taught myself to draw, anyhow. If not me, my mom or my newest art teacher or my neighbor. 

12. Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?

Yes and no. I want to inspire people (whether with art or my quirky personality) but don't want the pressure that popularity and fame brings. 

13. Are you a restless sleeper? 

If being a night owl counts as restless, then yes. If being a deep sleeper when I am actually asleep doesn't, then no.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic?

Considering I like guys who are chivalrous and funny... yes?

15. Which element best represents you?

Water. I'm chill until all my suppressed emotions rush out. You can't hold back the ocean forever. And you can't prevent the inevitable: Me being weird. Just ask my sister, she thinks I'm insane (which is probably accurate). Also, I may seem shallow on the surface, but I can actually be very deep sometimes. I could go on and on about my relationship with water, but that's a tale for another time.

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

Everyone. I love strengthening relationships with people. It makes the group stronger as a whole.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

Always.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

I'd love too, but then storyteller Mistie will appear and this list will become infinitely longer. You'll have to ask me in my questions tab if you really want to hear one. 

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

Can't decide which is weirder: Watermelon with taco seasoning or raw onion with mustard... Both are equally delicious in the summertime at a BBQ.

20. What can you see outside your bedroom window?

A ladder, some rocks, and a dead vole. My old room had a much better view... 

21. What are you most thankful for?

My Savior

22. Do you like spicy food?

Not particularly, no. 

23. Have you ever met someone famous?

Alex Boyé. He went to a really unsanitary restaurant before he came to our house one time and puked all over our newly waxed floors. I feel bad for him. Everyone but him knew not to eat at that runofthemill A&W on the way up. He still put on a mini concert for us tho and that was pretty considerate of him, because he did it even though he can't have felt like doing it.

24. Do you keep a diary or journal?

Yup. I've got entries from back in kindergarten, amazingly. Granted, back then I wrote in pictures.

25. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

Pencil. I'm human, I make mistakes.

26. What is your star sign?

Well, I was a Pisces. But then they discovered that there are more stars in the sky, just like there are more fishes in the sea, and just bunched a bunch of Pisces together so now I'm Aquarius. I'm still a Pisces at heart tho.

27. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

Crunchy. Better texture. Soggy cereal is oatmeal in my mind and if you want oatmeal, you actually make oatmeal, not let your cereal sit out for who knows how long. 

28. What would you want your legacy to be?

Legacy is a tricky thing. You've gotta know what people are gonna think of you down the line. I want mine to be simple: she wasn't afraid of who she was and what others would think of that. She was herself, and that's all that matters. I feel like that's the best legacy I could have for the future generations who will grow up in a world of trial and tribulation.

29. Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read?

ABSOLUTELY! I just finished Lodestar from Keeper of the Lost Cities. I shoulda read these books years ago but they're still fan-freaking-tastic! 

30. How do you show someone you love them?

I guess my love language is acts of service or whatever. So I'd probably serve them and do tons of sweet things for them. 

31. Do you like ice in your drinks?

No, it makes it all watery. Blegh.

32. What are you afraid of?

Lots of things. I just only realize when they come along and forget what they are afterwards. Sure, it may seem nice, but it makes the terror of coming into contact with them once more infinitely more terrorizing. But bugs are extremely horrifying. And so are arachnids.

33. What is your favourite scent?

Rain with freshly mowed grass and newly printed books at a campfire with Smores by the seashore. No one will ever be able to create this magnificent scent. 

34. Do you address older people by their first or last name?

Depends on how close we are.

35. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

Does this mean that everything is free? Well I'm gonna stockpile food and stuff and then ship them off to 3rd world countries. I'd try to save as many lives as possible. Or I could go there in person to deliver said goods... Yup. I've decided that that's what I'm gonna do!

36. Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean?

Pools have a veil of safety but the ocean is much more beautiful and alive. Also, the smell of chlorine is gross. And the taste. Blegh.

37. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

If it looks old and worn and dirty like it's been there a while, imma take it. Chances are whoever lost it has been long gone so I can actually take that $50 w/o feeling guilty. Otherwise I'd leave it there.

38. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

Heh, I used to wish on airplanes, satellites, and planets because I thought they were 'special stars'.

39. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

To be kind, even when it is inconvenient. I don't know how many times someone has held the door open for me even when it seemed much more convenient for them to just go inside where it is warm and just let me open the stupid door on my own. 

Maybe I'd teach them that even the smallest acts can have the biggest impact. One of the two. Probably both.

40. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

Heh, you're talkin' to the girl who doesn't want her ears pierced. No way in heck am I getting a tattoo.

41. What can you hear right now?

Music and the sound of my thoughts.

42. Where do you feel the safest?

In a book.

43. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

Darkness and fear.

44. If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose?

The one with Michelangelo, Leonardo, and all those other guys that the ninja turtles were named after.

45. What is your most used emoji?

It's not even an emoji. It is literally XD. Either that or (^^) 

46. What is your favourite season? Why?

Torn between winter (snow), spring (life coming into bloom), and fall (all the pwetty colors).

47. How would you spend your ideal day?

On a window seat during a thunderstorm either sketching or reading a book all wrapped up in a blanket. Preferably with a cat. Sipping warm apple cider or hot chocolate with marshmallows.

48. Describe yourself using one word.

Me.

49. What do you regret the most?

Not realizing certain things sooner.

50. Invent your own word. What does it mean?

Crushyblushy (adj. n.)

The general mannerisms an individual enacts around people that they like (specifically in crush and/or love situations).

syn: awkward, quirky, shy, blushy

ant: confident, flirty, aplomb, able

[superheroshippinq-archive]

💗 + Brainy!! —Nic

YES i neglect my alien husbando so lets GET this bread 

@me-myself-and-my-fos !! THANK YOU !!  💕

Who fell for the other first?

-brainy fell for me first. he was pretty enamored by me at first. it was a little odd though, because around the time i fell for him hard enough he ended up being with nia for a while. we ended up together in the end of course and nia supports us lots !! but i think i should have made a move sooner haha.

Who said "I love you" first?

-brainy did !! and when he did, i was pretty emotional, because brainy takes being in love very seriously and of course his confession was super heartfelt and meaningful, whether he meant it to be or not. he didn’t fully understand what love was, but he knew he wanted to be with me and that i was special to him, and thats all that really mattered to him. 

Who is more affectionate in public/private?

-brainy is just ... not affectionate like that. not in public, at least. he has a hard time showing affection in general, which i fully understand because of his experiences, so im def not upset abt it !! im usually the affectionate one both in public and in private!!! and he doesn’t mind, i’ll hug him randomly and hold onto him while he does his work and he lets me haha. brainy shows his affection in non-physical ways and hes always a big nerd about it, he’s trying his best and i love him so much for it !!!

Who initiates cuddle sessions?

-me for sure!! almost always !! EXCEPT at bedtime. brainy just ... refuses to sleep unless hes snuggling me in some way or im holding him. he gets cuddly when hes sleepy and i lowkey look forward to it every night, not gonna lie ?? he is baby ... my baby.

How do we cheer each other up?

-brainy rarely gets upset, to be honest. sometimes he can get agitated or frustrated, but it tends to resolve itself before i even get the chance to try and cheer him up. that being said, when he does get upset, he gets REALLY upset. i will usually sit with him for a very long time and let him vent to me. I often have to explain to him that its okay to feel upset and to let yourself have a good cry every once in a while -- after what lena told him, he really likes to bottle his feelings. I also know that for whatever reason, coffee really helps him calm down, so i’ll bring him a coffee before i go to sit with him. :)

-when it comes to brainy cheering me up, he’s usually the ‘motivational speech’ kind of guy. he’s pretty good at it, because it always comes from the heart from some way. and he’s very reassuring on whatever i’m feeling upset about. if its something out of my hands, then he will try his hardest to solve it himself if he knows it will make me feel better. sometimes he carries my baggage and i feel guilty about it but at the same time i love him so much for it. 

Who is more likely to plan a surprise date for the other?

-brainy, definitely. not even just surprise dates, but surprises in general. like i mentioned before, brainy is very different when it comes to how he shows affection. if he notices i like something, he will make sure that i get that something almost everyday until im sick of it haha. unless its coffee -- in which i could never get sick of it. he also knows that i rarely eat breakfast or lunch for whatever reason so he’ll surprise me with food and we’ll take our lunch break together. 

Who suggests the more creative date ideas?

-neither of us. we’re both squares who find way too much joy in simple dates like coffee runs and movie nights. SO SUE US. 

Who steals the other's clothes?

-brainy has these sweaters and coats he hardly wears so they’re basically mine now except they absolutely do not fit me. but he’s always wearing his legion suit or DEO uniform and when he’s not he’s wearing dress shirts and whatnot, SO THE SWEATERS ARE MINE.

Who is more likely to leave cute little sticky notes for the other to find?

-Brainy, always. he’s always leaving me little reminders about stuff. dont forget to do this, remember we have this today, if you want this then let me know, etc. etc. i literally would not function without him !! also, he always puts a smiley face next to his name and for whatever reason ??? it absolutely melts my heart.

What our favourite thing to do during the summer is?

-brainy is not huge on stuff like swimming/going to the beach. HOWEVER. camping. me and brainy LOVE to go camping together, and sometimes we’ll invite our close friends like kara, alex, nia, mon-el, etc. and make a big trip out of it. its hard to find time with national city always being vulnerable to attack, but when we do its SO FUN. i’ll never forget the first time brainy tried a s’more.  👀

What our favourite thing to do during the winter?

-okay so something i didn’t know is that brainy is apparently not bad at ice skating. either that or he’s been practicing because i absolutely CANNOT ice skate and he always has to hold me up and guide me. which makes sense, because i can’t rollerskate either. but hes a natural and he’ll hold my hand while we do and its always so fun just getting to do that with him. until i slip, at least. ;)

[unexcusable]

Druck, 11. January 19:30 Translation

Wow so this took ages. I wanted to try it out once, see what it’s like. Well. Respect to everyone who manages to do it as fast as you do, really. 

Read below xx

Hanna’s text: Did you take out comments about you btw?

Are you going to come soon? Please! I don’t wanna be alone here #Jonas

Mia: Yes, on my way

Axel’s text: You don’t need to bring a tooth brush, I have a spare one here.

Mia: Fuck..

Mia’s text to Hans: I forgot my key at home! When are you going to be back home? Linn is at her parents’.

Hans: I’ll be back around midnight. Cool?

Mia: Cool. How’s your peeing going?

Hans: Ouch. Ps: Took 50 Euro from the till for my sick aunt aka. drugs.

 Voice over for Hanna: Totally cute. Bitch. Red devil. Ex BFF. Arrogant. The best. Glued to Jonas (Jonas Klette). Best decision of my life. 

Voice over for Amira: Headscarf (8x). Coolest of all. Women power. Salafist. Inshallah. is-is (?) cool :) 

Voice over for Matteo: Chill guy. Jonas copy. Purist or aesthetic/creative mind (=Feingeist, hard to translate). Is in our year. Cute. Brother. Can kiss well. 

Voice over for Alex: Arrogant snob (3x). Didn’t he graduate last year? Spaz. Cocky. Porsche = small dick. Hot. Wow I wanna fuck that guy. Totally cute. Bad boy. Arrogant. Jerk. Cocky. Heartbreaker. 

Voice over for Mia: Best friend. Politically correct. Red lips. Feminism. Hot. Lesbian? Really pretty. Quite nice. Always sits in first row. Eyebrows. Habibi. Boring. Most beautiful woman in the world.

Girl or Hanna: So? 

Mia: I don’t want to take out anything. I still feel like either everyone is allowed to take out their comments or no one. 

Girl: We’ve had this discussion. I can’t be bothered running after every single person in our year. Again. 

Amira: The years before us did it exactly the same way. 

Mia: It doesn’t matter. Just because we’re in the committee doesn’t mean we should have more power. 

Matteo: None of it really matters though, right? 

Alex: No, I disagree. I think Mia is right. We’ll just do it like this, we’ll give everyone two weeks time to censor comments. Who doesn’t report anything in those two weeks, well tough luck. By the way, I don’t want any of it deleted. In twenty years I’ll still want to know what kind of an arrogant snob I was. 

Girl: Okay. Then let’s do it like that. I’ll send out the documents via the distribution list (e-mails). 

[Bell rings]

Hanna: What happened to him? 

Amira: Boah nice.

Alex: Could somebody maybe help me out? 

 Hanna to Matteo: So where’s Jonas?

Matteo: No idea. He was supposed to come but I don’t know. 

[Girls saying bye]

Hans’ text message: Looks like it will be 1am after all. Peace. Signed: Tripper-Hans (word play because tripper means gonorrhea and he’s tripping on drugs, too)

Mia: Fuck.

Bye. Get home safely. 

Thanks again Alex. 

Ciao.

Mia: What’s going on? 

Amira: We gotta go, I still have to study. And Leoni has plans to meet. 

Mia to Hanna: And you?

Hanna: I promised my dad we’d go to the movies, sorry. But we can talk tomorrow. 

Amira: Bye cuties. The bus is about to come, ciao.

Mia: You can’t just leave me here alone with this psycho. 

Hanna: You can also just go home?

Mia: I forgot my keys.

Hanna: And Hans and Linn? 

Mia: Hans is coming home in two hours and Linn isn’t around. 

Hanna: Ugh. Sorry, really. But I really gotta go, I’m already late. 

Takes you half an hour anyway to get home (I think that's what she said, not sure exactly). Just stay a little and then leave soon. And if something happens, call the police. 

Mia: Funny..

Hanna: Bye Alex, thanks for the pizza.

Alex: K, bye.

Guy coming out of the bathroom: Where is everyone? 

Mia: Gone.

Guy: Shit. How late is it? 

Mia: Half past 10. Is everything ok? 

Guy: Yeah, yeah thanks. 

Alex: Is.. is that puke? 

Guy: No. Yeah, I don’t know.. I usually never drink.. Ugh, fuck. 

Alex: And you? 

Mia: I forgot my key. And my roommate is only coming home in two hours. I’m gonna go now. And to see a movie. Or. I’ll lay down in the park. 

Alex: Mhm.. You could stay here for a bit, I’ll drive you home later. 

Mia: But you’re not allowed to drive anymore? 

Alex: Then I’ll call my driver… Does he really have a driver? Hm. Is he that rich? No.. or maybe he is..

I’m gonna make us some cocoa. 

Ugh. No more milk. Eh.. do you like rose hip tea? 

Mia: What?

Alex: If you like rose hip? 

Mia: Rose hip? (she intonates it differently) Mhm [nodding]

This is a residential-owned flat right? (asking if they/he own/s it) 

Alex: Yes. My sister used to live here. 

Mia: Your sister? 

Alex: Yes. Uhm, you want some honey? 

Mia: Yes.

What’s here? 

Alex: Uh, nothing. 

Do we want to go sit down over there?

Mia: Do you play? Or is this just here to impress girls? 

Alex: No. 

Mia: Be honest now. Why are you suddenly so nice to everyone? Hm? 

Alex: Do you play? 

Mia: Of course I can play. 

Alex: Don’t lie. 

Mia: Why would I be lying? 

Alex: To wind me up 

M: Nope. I really do play. 

A: So play something. 

M: Don’t feel like it. 

A: Right. 

M: What are you paying? 

A: Excuse me? 

M: I’m a professional. I don’t play for free. 

A: I’ve got.. 2.40, 43 cents. 

M: No way. 

A: How much? 

M: Fifty

A: Ten, max.

M: Fifty.

A: Twenty. 

M: Fifty.

A: Forty / M: Fifty

A: Okay.

Mia: Embarrassing. 

A: What about it? Totally handy. Anyway, I got this from my grandma. 

M: Ugh, now he’s starting with his grandma again. 

[She plays, he takes the money]

M: Okay, okay, for real now. 

[they giggle. He takes the money again.]

M: Okay, sorry, sorry, for real now. Really. I swear. 

[After she’s done playing]

A: Who was this from? 

M: Drake. 

Hans’ text message: Hey biatch. Could you maybe sleep over at Hanna’s after all?

I just met Emilio and guess what? He’s also got gonorrhea! #metoo

M: Ugh, fuck. 

Mia’s text to Hanna: Hey.. Could I sleep over at your place after all? Hans isn’t coming home anymore :/ 

[text message not read]

A: Is something the matter? 

M: My roommate stood me up. Doesn’t matter, I can surely sleep over at Hannah’s.. I’m going to check when the next train is. 

A: You can sleep here. 

M: I don’t think that’s a good idea. 

A: Not the way you think. 

M: No, if, then not the way you think.

A: Seriously now. You sleep on the bed. I’ll sleep on the camping mat. I need to leave tomorrow super early. Let’s not make a big deal out of it. 

M: Why don’t you sleep here on the couch? 

A: The fridge is very loud. 

M: It really is loud.

A: You could also rent my bed. Like at a hotel. One night. My freshly made bed. 

M: How much? 

[after Alex gives her the new tooth brush]

M: Funny. 

[gives him back the 50]

A: Thanks.

Hans’ text message: Tripper-Emilio was done quickly and had leftovers of liver sausage on his mattress, ergo I’m gonna be home soon after all. You still coming? 

Hanna’s text message: Oh no sweetie! Sure come by if you still want to? 

Mia’s text to Hans: It’s all good, I’m at Hanna’s. kiss

Mia’s text to Hanna: It’s all good, Hans is back! Kiss and I’ll see you tomorrow

 Alex: No human falls asleep that fast. 

Mia: Yes. (or: do too/sure) 

A: Good night, Mia Winter. 

M: Good night, Axel Hardenberg. 

A: It wasn’t really Drake though, was it? 

[get-well-soonish-blog]

Where it all Began

OK, so I’ve created an Instagram account dedicated to showing the world what it’s like to be me. Might as well link a blog to it, amirite?

Why does that matter?

Now what?

What are you even going to be talking about, Katie?

Some questions that might be buzzing around your head, I know. 

We all kind of walk through this world doing what we do every day. And maybe some of us find that significant, but maybe some of us don’t. If you see yourself as “just a student”, or “just a person in an entry-level, coordinator position, or “just trying to get by”, I promise you that means something. 

About four months ago I made a move that changed my life so profoundly it has quite literally shaken me down to my core and showed me who I am, what I’m made of. But let’s rewind to just before that all happened.

I’m sitting on the couch of a family I nanny for in what felt like the middle-of-nowhere-Indiana. It’s just about 1:00 pm, the baby is asleep and I’m watching The Walking Dead. My tortured relationship has just come to a complete end (you’ll hear about him later, I promise), my roommate hates me (you’ll hear about her too, don’t worry), all of my college friends have moved to places like Seattle, and Chicago and I’m so sad I can’t even cry. I’m stuck in the cement that I’ve let set around me blankly staring at my MacBook Air as character after character dies and I. Feel. Nothing. I was supposed to have a skype interview with a company in New York but I consciously decide to skip it. “I forgot, I’m sorry, can we reschedule? No? Ok, thank you for the opportunity.” I can hear the script I’m writing for the email scene I’m about to direct. And that’s when my phone rings...

“Hi, is this, Katie?”

“Yes, this is she.”

“Hi Katie, this is Alex. I’m calling on the behalf of Agency. We were supposed to have a Skype call at 1:00.”

“Oh, yes, I’m sorry my internet isn’t working properly. I’m so glad you called...”

A little bit different than the original script I was writing, but I went with it.

Fast forward four months, and here I am; writing to you from my desk at that job in New York *shhhh* to tell you about why I need to talk to you; why I feel my story is important to tell, as is yours. I left that couch, bad relationship, horrible roommate situation, town one month later and I can quite literally say that I never once looked in my rearview mirror as I drove far, far away from that place in the midwest to a new one in Upstate New York.

And that’s when my life became perfect! The End...

I wish that was how it went. But everyone knows that putting distance between yourself and the problem(s) isn’t always the answer. Things follow you and more often than not, it’s time that we need. I really, truly, vigorously believed that leaving all of those people and memories and that place behind was the cure-all to this disease that, I thought, was my anxiety and depression (queue post for later about what I actually had going on in my cute little brain). I also thought I loved change! I was ready for it because change is always a 100% guaranteed breath of fresh air. 

Wrong. 

Not only was distance not a cure-all, it was isolating and the change was so vast and challenging, I wasn’t sure I could handle it. 

My mother and I aren’t close. I remember smelling her nightshirt when I was little, trying to absorb something from her. Looking back I’m not sure what that was, really. Maybe it was whatever kindness she had left in her after my dad left or a smile. Her smell was always floral but sweet and I needed it to put me to sleep. There was a time when I found her, her scent, comforting. But as I got older I began to appreciate that less and eventually not want it at all. Our lack of a relationship isn’t entirely her fault. I recognize that I’m my own, closed off person, afraid to get to know the woman who brought me into this world. But after the transition to the North Country, I called her almost every day like I was five and I needed to smell her nightshirt to be able to rest. I cried that I’d never make friends here (shout-out to the wonderful humans who have taken me in and now call me their friend). I thought the midwest was desolate, but really I didn’t even know what desolate was until moving here. The midwest was a friend I’d become too familiar with and bored of. It was a place I took for granted and only saw the times I’d had my heart broken or falling outs with close friends or dropping out of college after four years of half-hearted-hard-work. But the North Country was an alien from a galaxy I’d never even heard of and couldn’t communicate with or relate to. I’d forcefully thrown myself at it only to realize it looked nothing like what I’d loved and known for so long. 

For the first several months, I found no comfort here. The job was harder than anticipated and most of my coworkers, for lack of a better word, sucked. The agency was at the forefront of a rebrand and I’d come in at the worst, most disjointed time in their 41-year history as a company. So, not only was the job not panning out but like I said, I truly had no friends. It was sub-zero, constantly snowing, dark by 4:30 pm and I was beginning to resent the reason I’d come here in the first place; to get away from things that pained me. I drove to and from work in pitch black, every day. I love being outdoors, but I’d never been winter hiking and had no proper gear to get out there and no money to buy said gear. Everything was a mess of pure and hopeful expectations collapsing in on me and whether I created it or not, I felt I had no control over the clean-up. 

But somehow, dirty clothes found their way into my hamper and friends were made, gear was purchased, work settled down. And now, today, I feel like I’ve finally gotten a grasp on my new life. It feels weird to write that down... “my new life”. But how I’m living now looks nothing like what it used to so I guess it really is “new”.

I’m taking canoe trips and becoming more active and going to therapy once a week. I had such a rough go for those few months, and so many things to sort out. Through therapy and some much-needed soul-searching, the only conclusion I’ve come to is that I need to take care of myself and SLOW DOWN (As my girl, Kacey Musgraves says, “I’m all right with a slow burn.” That’s kind of been my theme song for the last few months). Take that job, be patient with myself in adjusting, say yes to more experiences, but learn to say no when it’s just too much, do what benefits me. Sounds selfish, I know, but I’ve always given so much of myself to others and left none for myself. And I’m tired of feeling empty with nothing left to give to the most important person in my life; me. You might be thinking, “damn, she’s really taking this selfish thing seriously”. And that’s because I am. Going out with coworkers on a Tuesday might be fun, and I might be missing out on a few laughs, BUT going home to work out, and cook dinner and relax before another day of work is mindful and soothing and it’s what I need to feel like my best self. Learning to say no to things I feel I’m missing out on has been quite the process, but I’ve never felt empty or depleted doing it. 

So to answer the questions I think might be buzzing around in your head... 

1. This matters because I feel all stories are important and deserve to be told. It’s also part of my emotional wellness and healing. I went to school for writing and though I’m in a position in my professional life where I write content, I’m not writing anything I truly feel could change anything. Even if this doesn’t change your life, it will change mine (there I go learning to be all selfish again). 

2. And now, I tell you how I try to stay sane, try being the keyword. There are days I still am so sad I can’t cry. And there are still days in which I miss that toxic relationship, distressed couch, and abusive roommate. But there are more days now than there ever were of fun mistakes and happy adventures. I guess when they say the only direction there is to go from rock-bottom is up, they’re not lying. 

3. I’m talking about emotional wellness! A combination of therapy, guided meditation, exercise and *mostly* clean eating does it for me, and I’m curious to know what does it for you. I’m talking about being raw and open and honest with oneself, admitting to your mistakes, and honoring your flaws. I’m talking about obtaining contentment. People strive for happiness but really feeling happy isn’t something we’re meant to feel in our normal state. Happy, elated, excited are all things that take us higher, far above the level of contentment. Contentment is where I strive to be. Contentment is where I feel warm and secure and like I’m ready to take on whatever life throws at me because I can; because I’m standing on a solid foundation of neutrality that I’ve built with my own, small, chubby baby hands. 

So... if any of this interests you, stick around and read a while. Also, check out get.well.soonish on Instagram to put a face to the name cause it’s a pretty good one ;).

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Flames of Desire

Chapter One

This story is brought to you courtesy of my Night Manager Anon who, through Coffee Updates, requested another look at Loki and Astrid from Little Blessings (read that first) and ended up inspiring this. 

Summary: Six years after Loki rescued Astrid from Hydra’s control, a woman arrives. A woman of flame and secrets. She’s different, intriguing, unique, and frustrates Loki to no end. Something about her doesn’t seem right, and when he investigates, he finds an even bigger mystery. Is she a friend or foe? Is she a threat to his beloved Astrid? Or is there a larger threat on the horizon? One coming for both Alexa and his Astrid.

Pairing: Dad!Loki Laufeyson x OFC, Astrid Laufeyson  |  Word Count: 6211 Warnings: none

Astrid was nine when she came into their lives. Alexa, a woman of startling beauty and alleged talent. A breath of fresh air, she arrived like a dust mote, dancing through the door in a shaft of light. Hair like fire and skin like ivory, her nose sprinkled in freckles. Her eyes, though, her eyes had drawn Loki in, in a single glance.

They were azure. The most beautiful blue he’d ever seen.

She came in dressed in skin-tight jeans, a shirt much like the ones Stark usually wore with some rock band or other upon it, and a leather jacket covered in colourful pins. She was so… different.

He’d never seen anyone like her before and was utterly fascinated when she laughed, and a glint of silver showed on her tongue. The draw of her immediately made him suspicious.

Astrid, long accustomed to strangers coming and going, darted forward in excitement at seeing someone so… unique, enthralled by the woman and eager to meet her. Loki was much less sociable, far too cautious to be so trusting, hovering nearby to keep an eye on this new person Rogers and Stark were introducing.

Alexa, a fire wraith, something new and highly dangerous.

He could smell the ash and brimstone on her. “Astrid,” Loki called and held out his hand.

“Papa?” his daughter frowned.

“Come away, child.”

They were of ice. She was of fire. Their kind did not mix well, and Loki would not have his child hurt when the fire wench’s temper got the better of her.

“But…” Astrid murmured.

Loki only looked at her. She quickly came to his side and took his hand. “You have lessons with Vision and must not be late.”

“You’re right, papa. Of course. That would be rude,” Astrid agreed, her smile returning.

Casting a cold glance toward the Captain and Stark, Loki led his daughter away.

***

“Well… he was friendly,” Alexa grumbled.

“Loki’s protective of Astrid. She’s his daughter,” Steve explained.

Alexa shrugged. “I know. I’ve read the files, but damn she looks like him.”

“Let’s get you settled in. Give him a few days. He’ll warm up to you once she does. He can never hold out against Astrid for long,” Stark assured her.

“Sounds good. She seemed sweet. Plus she liked my buttons,” Alexa giggled.

“Well, you’re a little… different than we’re used to,” Steve chuckled.

She rolled a little flame over the back of her hand. “I get that. I’m not what you’d normally think of as Avenger material.”

Steve took a cautious step to the side. “You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t Avenger material.”

Alexa laughed and ran the flame through her hair, causing it to curl and spark before going out. “No worries, Cap! My flame only runs hot for those who need singeing.”

“Good to know, Alex. We’re all looking forward to seeing you in action.”

“The tapes weren’t good enough?” she laughed.

“Nothing like a little live preview to do the body good,” Tony smirked.

“Too true, boss.” She threw him a wink. “Can’t wait to get an up-close look at those suits of yours.”

“No touchy,” Tony said, shaking his finger her way.

“Oh, come on! You know I’m good for it! I’ve got nearly as many doctorates as you do!” she huffed.

Tony arched a brow. “Nearly. Not the same.”

“Close enough,” she huffed. “I’ve got weeks left on my last two dissertations, and then I will have one more than you.”

“She’s got you there, Tony,” Steve chuckled.

“Give me a month, and I could have another doctorate,” Tony grumbled.

“Whatever you say, boss,” Alexa chuckled.

“Don’t call me boss,” Tony huffed.

***

A few days later, Alexa was reading a book on advance astrophysics on her IPad when a shadow fell across her screen. “Dude, you’re totes in my light.”

“But… it’s an IPad. You don’t need light.”

She tilted her head back and smiled at Astrid. “You’re right, of course, but the sun from the window feels nice on my skin.” Alexa shrugged her bare, tattoo-covered shoulders.

“Oh, sorry.” Astrid stepped to the side.

“What you up to, sweetpea?” she asked, shifting her legs from the arm of her chair to the floor.

“Papa says you’re dangerous. I would like to know why,” the girl said as she sat on the coffee table.

“Your papa sounds like a smart man, but I’m only dangerous to my enemies.” Alexa tucked her tablet down beside her in the chair. “Would you like to see?”

Astrid nodded eagerly.

“Okay.” Alexa brought her hands together, closing one over the other and brought them to her lips. She blew gently over her fists, an utterly unneeded action but it made for good showmanship, for when she opened her hands, a rosebud made of tightly packed flames sat between them. She blew a second time, causing the fire to ripple and the rose petals to slowly unfurl until the rose was in full bloom.

“Oh… it's so pretty,” Astrid breathed.

“Would you like to hold it? I promise, my flames are completely harmless.”

Again Astrid nodded eagerly.

“Hold out your hands.” They shot forward and made Alexa giggle. “Careful now,” she murmured as she gently placed the flame rose down into the child’s palms. “There.”

“It’s so warm,” Astrid sighed, her eyes wide and bright with wonder.

“Astrid.”

Alexa jolted in surprise, the voice coming from directly behind her. “Loki! I didn’t see you there.”

“What do you think you are doing?” he snapped, glaring at the flames in his daughter’s hands.

“Look, papa! Isn’t it pretty?” Astrid asked, holding the flower aloft.

Loki flicked his wrist, and the rose fizzled and died, causing Alexa to frown. “Hey, now. It was a harmless bit of fun.”

“You know nothing of my child to know what is and is not a harmless bit of fun. Astrid, I asked you to stay away from Miss Spark.”

“But… but papa!”

“You were to join Dr. Banner in his laboratory ten minutes ago. You caused him to worry when you were late and contact me, pulling me out of an important meeting. You will apologize for upsetting him.”

There was no raised voice, no harsh accusation, only a deep disappointment which even made Alexa feel guilty. “Please, it was my fault for keeping her.”

The harshness appeared when he looked at her. “I will deal with you in a moment. Astrid.”

“I’m sorry, papa,” Astrid murmured. “It won’t happen again.”

“I expect it won’t.” He held out his hand, and she went to him swiftly, wrapping her arms around his waist in a tight hug before rushing off.

Then, Loki turned those intense blue-green eyes on her. Alexa felt it like a blast of winter sneaking beneath her clothes to chill her to the bone. “Stay away from my child.”

“I don’t mean any harm. I’d never hurt your daughter,” Alexa said. “She was curious, and I’d really like to know what I did to put that stick up your ass about me.”

“Fire does not mix with ice!” Loki snapped. “You could hurt her in your playing with far too much ease!”

“I would never harm a child!” Alexa gasped, seriously insulted. “I haven’t hurt anyone with my powers in a very long time. I have more control than that!”

Loki’s hand latched around her throat. “Be careful, wench. Be very, very careful. I know all too well the tender touch of a fire wraith’s flame. I know exactly how quick you are to anger, how swiftly you can melt down. Harm one hair on my child’s head and I will bury you!”

She pressed a flame dagger to his cheek as the icy cold seeped through her skin. “I am not a monster, and I have far more control than you do.”

He glanced to the dagger warming his skin and back to her eyes. “Stay away from Astrid.”

“I didn’t seek her out,” she snarled. “You know nothing about me, yet you judge me by your past experiences. I thought the God of Mischief was smarter than that?”

“One would think a woman with eight doctorates would be smart enough to know not to anger a God?”

“One would think a God would know better than to play with fire,” she breathed and stroked her hand down his chest.

He gasped, eyes going wide, as the heat of her caress lit a different kind of fire within him. “What… what… are you?”

“I’m not a fire wraith. But what I am is none of your goddamn business!” She shoved him away from her. “When you learn a few manners, maybe we can discuss your issues like civilized beings!”

Turning on her heel, Alexa marched away.

***

Loki watched her go in wonder and not a little trepidation, her ringlets of fire coloured hair streaming down her back. He was drawn to her, as was Astrid, but she was nothing more than a mortal girl. Why he had these deep feelings of longing, he was not sure. Still, something about her did not make sense to him.

He was not enamoured of mortals. It was not in his nature. To find this one fascinating… irritated him. But - he held up the long strand of red and orange and golden hair - soon he would have the answers to all his questions.

First though, he needed a very long, very cold shower to deal with the flames of desire she'd stroked through his body and thanked the Norns he continued to wear his Asgardian garb. He had no desire to be seen in the state she'd left him in.

Waving a hand, Loki shifted himself to his quarters.

***

Alexa stormed into Tony’s lab. “Overbearing, self-important, condescending, ice prick!”

“Problem, Firebird?” Tony asked, rolling out from beneath one of his many cars.

“Who does that jerk thinks he is? Like I’d ever hurt Astrid or anyone else I consider innocent.”

Sighing like the world was ending and he had to stop it - again - Tony pushed to his feet. “What did the horned wonder do this time?”

She huffed and wandered over to glare down at the new nanobot tech Tony was designing. “She came to me, told me Laufeyson told her I was dangerous and wanted to know why. I made her a flower, and he spazzed out! Threatened me! Told me to stay away from her! I didn’t seek her out to begin with!” Alexa pulled up his documents and flipped through a half dozen diagrams before grabbing the one she wanted and enlarging it.

“Stop touching my things,” he barked, but she ignored him.

“If you want to keep these from shorting out every time they overheat you need to shift this algorithm in their programming, reroute this system, and add a secondary cooling substance to keep the little bastards regenerating.”

He blinked, stared at the changes Alexa had made and grunted. “Huh… that’s… better.”

She snorted. “Of course it is.”

Tony shook his head to clear the host of questions her changes had brought up. “What’s this about Loki threatening you?”

“I don’t know. Dumbass has a hate on for me since the first day. Don’t know what stick he’s got up his butt, but I’d like to jerk it out and beat him with it.”

Tony snorted a bark of laughter. “Well, that was… descriptive.”

She snickered, then sighed. “I’ve been judged by people all my life. Guess I was stupid to think I could come here and find a fresh start. Someone’s always gonna look at me sideways.”

“Kid, he’s a dad. A good one too. That little girl became his whole life six years ago. I never thought I’d say it, but he’s different. He’s not the man he was when he came with his burden of glorious purpose so many years ago. Give him time. He’ll come around.”

“Yeah… sure,” she muttered. “Let’s hope so. Otherwise, there’s gonna be a whole lot of steam.”

***

A week went by before Loki had a chance to delve into the mystery of Alexa. Astrid was quieter than usual, a little sullen. She liked Alexa. Why couldn’t she be friends with Alexa? The woman had such potent magic. She wanted to know more about Alexa.

He hadn’t yelled, Loki never yelled, but he’d discussed at length how Miss Spark was a being of fire. He and Astrid were of ice. The two could not mix, or Alexa could seriously injure Astrid. Astrid was not yet strong enough to protect herself from the heat of a fire wraith’s flames. She, in turn, argued Alexa was kind and had shown she was perfectly capable of controlling her fire.

It was at times like this Loki regretted teaching her how to debate. His child was too damn smart for her own good. Still, he’d gotten a promise from Astrid to stay away from Miss Spark, at least until he could have a closer look at just what she was hiding.

She was not a fire wraith, or not like the ones he was intimately acquainted with, to be sure. The Chitauri torturers had more than one of the foul creatures working for them, and beneath his clothes and his glamour, he had a host of scars thanks to their tender attentions.

Once his daughter was off to train with the Captain, Loki opened a portal and walked into his private domain. A lair off the grid and run only by magic, beyond the eyes of SHIELD, the Avengers, and his nosy brother. There he had the space to work on the things he wished to while avoiding having to explain himself.

He’d only blown it up once; twice, if he included that tiny incident with the uranium. Thankfully, that time he’d been smart enough to place an impenetrable shield around the spell, then he’d dropped it through a portal into the deepest part of the ocean to keep it from contaminating everything within a hundred-mile radius. It had been a foolish experiment, but he’d been curious to see what trouble he could get up to when he mixed radioactive substances and magic.

It was far bigger trouble than he was willing to cause, especially with Astrid nearby, and he'd immediately abandoned the project.

Loki held up the glass vial with the strand of flame-bright hair and gave it a little shake. It gleamed with fire even now. The light barely had to caress it to make the strand sing with a residual flame.

“Let's begin, shall we?”

He transferred the hair to a small wooden bowl and began the spell Frigga had taught him so long ago. The discovery of one's true nature could come in handy. Unfortunately, he'd never thought to use it on himself.

With a snap of his fingers, he set a large glass sphere over the bowl to catch the rising smoke. It billowed and filled the interior in white clouds.

Loki ran his hand over the dome. “Show me all your secrets… Alexa Spark,” he purred, setting his magic to the glass.

Hazy images flickered and made him frown. A woman appeared, startlingly beautiful, perhaps even the most beautiful he'd ever seen. But something about her, about her eyes and her smile, screamed cold calculation.

He waved it away and watched the second image unfold. A cave of fire, a forge, tools of a blacksmith, and a hunched, filthy man. He was ugly, dirty, maimed even, but he smiled, and it was genuine and full of love.

Loki waved it away as well, confused by the images. Mother and father, certainly, but who were they? “Show me something useful,” he muttered.

The next image had him inhaling in shock. “That can’t be.” But the more the images played out, the harder his heart pounded. He knew them, the people in Alexa’s past. Not personally, but he knew of them.

After all, what kind of God would he be if he'd never looked in on the Greek Pantheon?

***

Alexa climbed out of the pool and shot fire through her veins, steaming herself dry in an instant. She ran hands full of flame through her hair and dried the multicoloured locks back into her standard waves and ringlets.

“Impressive.”

She jolted and looked sharply at Loki. “Oh. It's only you.”

“Only?” he hummed, pulling a towel out of nothing. He held it out, dangling from the tip of his index finger. "How unfriendly."

Alexa gave it and him an amused glance before walking toward the lounger she’d been using to soak up the sun. “Hate to disappoint, frosty, but I’m not one to need a towel.” She snapped the strap of her bikini top. “Instadry is kinda my thing.”

“Ah, how foolish of me to try and act the gentleman.”

She snorted. “Yeah right. Cause that’s been your go-to since I got here.” Throwing her hair up in a tail, she grabbed the long sleeve sweatshirt from the chair and pulled it on over her head. “Something you want, or you here to accuse me of child abuse again?”

He stiffened, the smug grin falling away as she pulled her cutoffs up her legs. “Forgive me if I’m overprotective, but Astrid spent the first three years of her life as a Hydra experiment with no affection and no one to care for her until I rescued her from the tortures of that place. It is understandable I would be cautious of new people!”

Alexa arched her brow, the contempt she was feeling written all over her face. “Cautious, sure, but I’m not your enemy, Loki! Nor would I ever hurt a child! Do you think she’s the only one who grew up in hell, cause I can guarantee you she isn’t! And keeping her running from this lesson to that lesson without a chance to play or have a moment of fun isn’t doing her any favours!”

“I beg your pardon?” he snapped striding forward only to be met with a furnace of heat.

“Don’t! You don’t get to put your hands on me again without consequences!” she snarled. “I’m no wraith you can shut down with ice, Asgardian!”

He took a step back, pulling himself up into a regal, haughty manner. “Not that it is any of your business, but if Astrid appears to have a myriad of lessons, it is to keep her mind occupied. She is brilliant, smarter even than you. Her magic needs the rigidity of her schedule until she is old enough to maintain control. She is young. When she gets overexcited, accidents happen.”

The heat around Alexa died out. “Oh… oh, I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t. You didn’t bother to ask before you passed judgment on me. As you humans always do.”

She stiffened, disliking the emphasis he put on the word human. “Can you blame me? That’s some track record you’ve got there, Loki. New York, Berlin. That thing that happened right here on this base.”

He walked - more like glided - over to the glass wall to stare out at the compound, but she could see the small twitch of his lips when he fought off a smile. “Yes, well. They came for what is mine. When the council would not listen to those around here who are reasonable, I forced them to listen to me.”

“Crazy and unreasonable?” she teased gently.

Loki glanced sharply at her before he chuckled. “Something to that effect.”

He said nothing more, silence lengthening between them until she turned to collect her things. “Well, this has been swell, but I’ve got places to be that aren’t here, so if there’s nothing else…” She didn’t expect there to be anything more, so she nearly died of fright when she turned to leave, and he was standing only inches away. “Sweet, Jiminy Crickets! Make some noise or something!”

“That would be counterintuitive to a stealthy maneuver,” he smirked.

“Yeah, well, it also won’t get you smote with a fireball,” she huffed. “What do you want?”

“Many things, but I will settle for you spending time with Astrid.”

Alexa felt her mouth fall open and couldn’t stop it. “Huh?”

“What is the term Stark always uses? Ah, yes. A playdate.” He smirked as she continued to gape at him.

“But… I thought you didn’t trust me around her?”

The haughty look returned to his face. “Did I say it would be unsupervised?”

“You’re kind of a prick; you know that right?” Brushing past him, Alexa headed for the door. “Does she like video games?”

“She plays them with the spider when he comes to visit.”

“Sweet! My room, eighteen hundred hours, bring the pizza. I’ll do the rest.”

“That is not…” he started to argue.

Alexa stopped and looked over her shoulder at him. “You offered the playdate, which means I get to set the time. Six sharp, frosty. I have work till then.”

He gave a regal tilt of his head. “We shall be there.”

***

She barreled down the hall at full speed at ten minutes to six. “Shit! Crap! Dammit to hell!” Rounding the corner, Alexa nearly ran smack into Loki and Astrid. “I have ten minutes!” she bellowed, darting around them both, sparks flickering in the air behind her for a few seconds before winking out. The slam of a door indicated she’d made it to her room.

“Papa?” Astrid giggled.

“Yes, precious?”

The child looked up at him with her big eyes, clear and bright and green as new grass. “I really like her. I’m so happy you said yes.”

She beamed up at him, and Loki’s heart swelled and clenched. “Of course, darling.” He’d do anything to make her happy. Giving in had only been a matter of time and delving deeper into what he suspected of Miss Spark’s background.

“We should walk slow, though. I think she’s going to need those ten minutes cause she was kind of… filthy,” Astrid giggled.

Filthy was an understatement. Evidently, Miss Spark had been assisting Stark in some form of mechanical tinkering for she was absolutely covered in oil, grease, and any number of chemical additives. Though had she asked, Loki could have easily refreshed her with but a wave of his hand.

Still, it gave him ten minutes of time to meander with his daughter, her hand held in his, and discuss the events of her day. She quickly showed him her newest trick, nearly giving him a heart attack when she made a dagger of crystal clear ice appear and stabbed it into her thigh. Apparently, she’d learned enough of phase destabilization from Vision to be able to avoid injury.

“And just how did you come to this… startling discovery?” he asked as calmly as possible, visions of daggers and blades and a hoard of weapons heading for his daughter passing through his brain.

“He threw a penny at me until it passed through my hand.”

Loki’s knees weakened in relief. “But you thought using a dagger to show me was a good idea?”

“More dramatic at any rate,” she giggled and turned her eyes full of mischief his way.

A quiet chuckle escaped him. “Little scamp.”

“Well, I am your daughter,” she snickered and sent a flourish of snowflakes whizzing around her, changing her outfit of black and green leathers into jeans and a t-shirt.

“And the purpose of this getup is?”

A small blush filled her cheeks. “I want Alexa to like me.”

He frowned, concerned. “Of course she’ll like you. You do not need to change who you are for that to happen.”

“I know… I just… she’s so… unique.” Astrid’s eyes were very bright when she looked up at him. “I love her hair. Papa?”

“No.”

She pouted. “But it would be so easy!” Astrid thrust her hand through her hair, and it was suddenly shockingly similar to Miss Sparks.

Loki gently ran his fingers through his daughter’s locks and returned it to its pretty chestnut brown. “There is plenty of time for you to experiment with your looks when you are older. For now, you are but nine years old-”

“Nearly ten,” she huffed.

“- and I would like to keep you a child as long as I can,” he finished, adding a little bit of sternness to get his point across.

She sighed like it was the hardest thing in the world. “Fine!”

Schooling his face, Loki did his best not to show his amusement at her antics and lifted his hand to knock on the door. It opened before his knuckles could make contact.

“Right on time!” Alexa smiled. “Come on in. Make yourselves at home.”

Loki was certain the look of utter awe on his daughter’s face mirrored his own. The woman had barely been there two weeks, but the suite had been transformed into what could only be called a technology lover’s paradise. Screens of multiple sizes covered one wall. The couch had been shoved to the side and in its place sat two chairs fully kitted out for gameplay. A third with its own hood and virtual reality screen waited in another corner.

The countertop of the small kitchenette was coated in parts from some sort of combustion engine. Her walls were covered in sci-fi movie posters, rock bands, and impressionist artists reproductions. The chaos of it was… oddly appealing to Loki.

Yet, the hardness of the space was offset by the seven vases placed around the room, each containing pink or white flowers. Roses, Gerber daisies, peonies, lilies, sweet peas, tulips, and gardenias lightly scented the room. A contradiction of softness and femininity to compete with what he would have traditionally thought of as a very masculine space.

He cast a quick glance through the ajar door to her bedroom and found the complete opposite. It was more than a bedroom. It was a boudoir of sleek modern furnishing but lush bedding, soft silks, and fur. A beautiful abstract nude of a couple entwined in the act of love hung above her bed and gave Loki dark, intriguing thoughts about the fiery beauty. She was certainly more than she seemed.

“You clean up fast, Miss Spark,” Astrid giggled, bouncing into the room with enthusiasm.

"So do you, Astrid. I'm pretty sure you weren't wearing that when I passed you in the hallway."

"Papa taught me to magic my clothes," she smiled and blushed.

"Neat trick," the woman murmured.

Loki shifted his gaze to Alexa and found her watching him curiously before walking across the room and shutting her bedroom door. He arched an amused brow. She arched one in challenge. 

It made him chuckle. “Indeed you do clean up quickly… Alexa.” She shivered so subtly he would have missed it if he hadn’t been watching her intently.

“Well, with such pretty company, I couldn’t be rude and be late,” she said smoothly, smiling for Astrid.

“Papa is very pretty. All the ladies say so,” Astrid agreed.

“I meant you, sweetpea, but I guess your papa’s not hard on the eyes either,” Alexa chuckled, in no way embarrassed. “I thought I told you to bring the pizza, frosty?”

He snapped his fingers, and a large flat box appeared in his hand. “Astrid is found of cheese, while I prefer the all meat variety. Hopefully, either of those offerings will do.”

“Either or both are fine. Long as it's got crust, sauce, and cheese, I’ll eat it.” She gave Astrid a wink when his daughter giggled and made her way to her mini fridge. “Beer?” she asked Loki.

“I think not,” he snorted.

She bent and pulled a can of soda from the fridge. “This okay for the squirt?”

As it was the mini kind of cola Astrid liked but he rarely allowed, Loki acquiesced with a nod.

“Catch, kid!” Alexa said and tossed Astrid the can. “Careful when you open that,” she called even as she reached into an upper cabinet and pulled out an unopened bottle of wine.

The bottle was of green glass, cloudy and in no way professional grade making Loki frown even as he flicked his fingers and opened Astrid’s drink without letting it fizz everywhere. “What… is that?”

“What’s it look like?” Alexa muttered, reaching for the glasses on the top shelf before grunting in frustration. “Some days being short really bites.”

Before he could offer to assist, she was already climbing on the counter. Loki moved closer in case she did something equally foolish, like fall off. “You could have simply asked someone taller to get them down for you.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” she frowned. “I’m short. It’s not like I’m unused to having to be part monkey to get to the top shelves.” She jumped lightly to the floor, shifted both glasses to one hand, and turned to rummage through a drawer until she came up with a corkscrew.

The glasses sparkled when she set them on the table beside the pizza box and went back for the bottle of wine. “If you want to be useful, plates are up there.”

Astrid bounced past to get three down. “Your room is so cool! I think some of your toys are even better than Uncle Tony’s!”

“Thank you! And that doesn’t surprise me,” Alexa winked at Astrid, “as most of these are of my own design.”

“Peter’s just going to die when he sees this!”

Loki arched a brow, his daughter’s dramatics equal parts amusing and concerning. She sounded remarkably close to a teenager, and he was in no way ready for that, but what made him flinch was when the corkscrew slipped, and Alexa nearly jammed it into her hand.

“You’re welcome to bring him by when I’m around. I’ll be happy to whip you both at… what do you play?”

“A little of everything. Fallout, Last of Us, Call of Duty, whatever feels right at the time, I guess,” Astrid shrugged.

Loki reached between the two of them to pluck the corkscrew and bottle from Alexa’s hand when she appeared about to try and punch the sharp end through her flesh a second time. “Why don’t you let me do this and you two can eat. You wouldn’t want to waste time on such trivialities when there is so little of it to be had.”

Alexa blinked at him then looked at Astrid. “Does he always talk like that?”

Astrid giggled. “Always. Papa is very formal, but it suits him.”

He rolled his eyes. “I was raised to be courtly and professional. Pardon me if I am too stiff for your liking.”

Alexa peered up at him with her azure eyes, the blue so bright he felt stripped bare before her. She smiled softly and shook her head. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”

The cork came free with a pop, but Loki only looked at her, the moment oddly thick and the air strangely warm.

“Do you want cheese or meat?” Astrid asked, oblivious to the tension between the adults in the room.

“Meat. I’m not one to turn down good… meat,” Alexa murmured, smiled coyly and cocked her head. “You gonna pour, or stand there all night?”

Loki blinked and shook himself free of the trance he’d been under. Dangerous. She drew him in so easily, yet he was still uncertain of her purpose and her loyalties.

He turned to the table and poured the wine.

The others were all unaware, still, of the potential firestorm they were sitting on, but he was not one to cry wolf without good reason. So far, Alexa appeared to be exactly who she said she was. But, if what her hair had revealed was true, this could be a perilous situation.

The liquid running into the glass was pale gold, clear and without impurities. Loki lifted it for inspection and arched a brow. “A homemade wine of such quality?” Bringing the glass to his nose, he inhaled and was surprised by the crisp notes of apples and grapes.

She watched him as he sipped, swirled, and swallowed. “And?”

“I think you know it is exquisite. Just who, pray tell, makes such a vintage? Stark would be quite interested, I assure you.” He handed her the second glass.

“A relative. He tinkers. Nothing extravagant. A few bottles a year for the family.”

He could tell she was lying but didn’t call her on it. Not yet. “Well, should you be inclined to share in the future...”

“I’ll be sure and call you first,” she quipped, filling her plate with pizza which she took with her to one of the two gaming chairs. “How about you help me out, Astrid. I’ve got a game I’m vetting for a friend. You can help me play and give me your opinion of it. If you like it, we’ll get Peter in here and let him try it out, kay?”

His daughter nodded enthusiastically and plopped her bottom in the second seat.

“These are so cool! Omg! You’ve got such neat tech! And you made this all yourself?” Astrid rambled, clearly excited.

Loki took his glass, his pizza, and went to sit on Alexa’s sofa. He magicked a book into existence and crossed his legs, prepared to read the time away while keeping an eye on the two females.

“My father taught me. He’s an inventor and an artist. Everything I know about working with metals, engines, tech, computers, all of it started with him.”

“He must be so proud of you!” Astrid giggled, wolfing down her food until she caught the look Loki was sending her and reined herself in a little.

“He is,” Alexa smiled, pressing buttons and flicking switches, causing the largest of the TV’s to turn on.

“And your mom?” his daughter asked eagerly, a sponge seeking to soak up every bit of knowledge about this new person in her world.

Alexa’s hand faltered for a moment before returning to whatever she was doing. “She’s not in my life anymore.”

“Oh…” Astrid said softly. “I’m sorry.”

“She made her choice,” Alexa said, smiling to reassure the child. “I made mine, and we parted ways. It’s better this way, I promise.”

“I don’t remember my mom,” Astrid said quietly.

Loki froze.

“But that’s okay. I have papa!”

She grinned at him, and Loki smiled back. “Yes you do, precious. Plus a hoard of aunts and uncles.”

“And Alexa! She’s my friend now, too.” Astrid smiled brightly at them both.

“Of course!” Alexa laughed. “Now, let’s kick a little Nazi ass- ah, behind?”

“It’s okay. Uncle Bucky says ass a lot. Usually when Uncle Sam is around,” Astrid snickered.

Alexa snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, I’ve heard that, too. How about we kick a little butt, kay?”

“Let’s do this!” Astrid hollered and turned to the screen.

Thus began the most amusing, most disconcerting, most fascinating three hours of Loki’s life. It was as if Alexa regressed, not to the mentality of a nine-year-old, but certainly to that of a teenager. She drank, she yelled, she screamed when Astrid made a kill - something he wasn’t sure he was all that okay with as his precious child shrieked a battle cry the likes of which he was not aware she could produce - and generally had the best time he’d ever seen.

It mattered little that he was there, watching, observing, generally studying the two of them as they bonded over pizza and video games. He never did read his book. He did empty the bottle of wine and finished off the rest of the pizza.

When the time came to leave, both females looked at him with disappointment.

“Ten more minutes, papa?” Astrid begged.

“Yeah? Ten more minutes, papa?” Alexa whined.

He chuckled and gave them ten more minutes.

Astrid’s eyes were barely open by the time those ten minutes past and Loki pried the controller from her fingers with ease. “Come along, my sweet girl.”

“I’m tired,” she sighed, but her smile was huge.

He lifted her up, and her arms went willingly around his neck. “Let’s get you to bed then. What do you say to Miss Spark?”

“Thank you, Alexa.”

Alexa smiled gently at his daughter and lightly stroked her back. “Thank you for coming and playing with me, Astrid. You’re welcome back anytime.” Her gaze lifted to his. “As is your papa.”

“Alexa,” Loki fairly purred.

“Loki,” she said with a smug grin and moved to get the door. “Until next time.”

“Yes, next time.” He walked out carrying his precious cargo and smiled.

Next Chapter

[karterh-blog]

Levi 1

Levi 

This is stupid.

What am I doing?

Nothing odd.

Just a tall teen, buying packaged cookies.

And that’s it. 

Watching that movie was a bad idea. Why did I let Nic talk me into watching it? They were so persistent. The movie was good. It made me feel less alien. The worst part was the partial I got from the watching the kiss at the end. I had to hide it behind my letterman’s jacket when we left the theater.

Maybe it’s a good thing. No other on-screen romance has gotten that much of a rise out of me. Fuck. Even my thoughts are getting corny.

“Young man register 15 is available,” the yellow-vested Walmart employee startled me out of my inner turmoil. I looked up at her, she looked tired, unkempt, as my mother would say. She gave me an impatient nod to herd me along to the self-checkout kiosk.

I quickly scanned my purchase and selected the pay option. Fumbling with my wallet I tried to rush the machine into taking my five-dollar bill. The stubborn thing spat it back at me. Infuriatingly, I snatched it back, worked out a barely bent corner and forced the note back into the payment slot. This argument went on for a few more rounds. I felt the stares of the moms waiting in the line. Believe me ladies, I want to get out of here as much as you do. After a fifth attempt it finally accepts my payment and spits my change and receipt at me. I shove it into my jeans pocket, grab my purchase and head for the doors.

“I need to see your receipt, young man,” drawls the exasperated looking man at the greeter post.

I attempt to extract it from my pocket without showering my feet with pennies and dimes. I failed.

“It’s a new policy.”

“It’s fine,” I say and as I hand him the small slip, I see that my hands are shaking.

My hands don’t shake. I scored the winning net in or hockey game against Gillette Saturday night. They’re our biggest competition this season, not to mention our biggest rival. “What is wrong with me.”

“Thank you, have a nice night,” he utters in monotone. he so doesn’t care.

I’m in the clear. Not even close, Pearson.

I make it to the second set of doors and forget how hard it’s snowing. I hate driving around town in snow. I’m not a terrible driver for a 17-year-old. I get carried away after a big win on the ice or a movie with good chase scenes, but generally I keep it in my pants. But other people act like they haven’t lived here for decades and either slide through the intersections or drive half the speed limit. 

Crap, am I really doing this?

At the beginning of Christmas break Nic begged me to go see a movie about some gay kid. It didn’t play here in Sheridan. There is no way it would play here. It might turn us impressionable youths into the gays!! Too late. Anyway, Nic convinced my mom that she would likely get a better present if I were allowed to drive up to Billings, Montana to do my holiday shopping. Nic is basically an only child. They know how to manipulate parents. They are my best friend, but I wouldn’t say that to the guys on the team. The guys already give me a hard time for hanging out with them and some of their “freaky” friends. I just feel so comfortable around them.

Unlike now. My socks are wet from slopping to my car. Chucks are not good winter shoes. I jam the key into the door handle to unlock the car. No fancy fob for this ride. Hell, it doesn’t even have cruise control. Gotta love hand-me-downs. Now that Jess is working a job and going to school (Sheridan College, fancy) he was able to buy a better vehicle. So, I get the old Honda my parents bought used ten years ago. The hinges creak as I open the door and slouch into the driver’s seat.

After shoving my backpack into the floor, I set the package of Oreos on the passenger seat. They’re the holiday ones with the red filling. Not really like the movie said, but close.

The car squeals to life with a good forceful turn of the ignition. I should get my friend Joey to change that belt. It’s getting really bad. I carefully make my way out of the packed parking lot as my phone buzzes in my hoodie pocket. I know it’s Nic, so I don’t even look.

“Hi.”

“Hey babe?” They sound unsure. Great.

“Why do you call me that? Don’t you’ll make me more nervous?”

“Lee, it’s going to be great! I’m so excited for you. I wish I could watch from your backseat.” Nic ignored my question. Typical. 

“God you’re creepy.”

“Yeah. But you love me.”

“Uhhh....” I let silence hang in the chilly air. 

“Levi Pearson, you go give that boy his cookies and make his year!”

“How are you cockier than me? Do you think he’ll even get the reference? This is pretty out there.”

“I know he saw the movie, Sarah Riley showed me his secret Instagram post about seeing it and then journaling at City Brew for hours afterward!”

“How do you know it was actually his post?”

“Babe, the freaks know all the best gossip.”

“Seriously? The babe thing?”

“What about it?”

“Even your friends think we’re together!”

“That’s impossible Lee. They all know I’m a demi/panromantic asexual genderqueer!”

“Nic. No one in this county knows what that means, except for you.”

“You’re totally not my type.”

“You mean you’re not my type?”

“Right. Not everyone can be born with genitalia that you are disturbingly focused on. But you are so stoic that no one knows what your type is, other than maybe cheerleader or volleyball player. I’m the only one who sees you. Well until tonight. Then Patrick will see you. Hopefully more of you than I’ve seen.”

“Hey.” I listen to Nic’s peeling cackle for two traffic lights.

“Holy shit. Aren’t you almost there?”

“Just turning off 5th street.”

“Ok. Ok. Ok. I love you! You’ve got this!” With that she hangs up.

I shift into park and look up at the brick house. The lights in the living room shine through the curtains. A big pine tree blocks the only other window facing the street. That’s probably his parents’ room though. That’s how I remember the house when Brad Warren lived there. We used to hang out in grade school, and we’ve been on the same hockey team for two years. I’d ride my bike over here when mom and dad were both at work in the summer.

God. My thoughts are all over the place. I’m mostly just trying to not picture and also hope for the opportunity to see Patrick’s smile. I think a lot about that smile. I didn’t really notice it until he got his braces off last year. It seemed like he smiled for weeks. He was unfortunately outed by some football players in a pretty brutal manner. He hasn't smiled much since then. Nic says he’s been out to his friends for years, which makes us the only two queer guys in the 11th grade, as far as I can tell.

A shadow passes by the window and I jump. Crap. I probably look like a stalker sitting out here.

I grab my backpack off the floor and chuck a couple of textbooks out, so I can fit in the treat I have for Patrick.

The characters in the movie bond over Oreos. And I figured if I showed up and offered them to him, it could be easier than walking up to him at school and saying something dreadfully embarrassing for both of us.

Pearson. You got this.

I wrench my door open and trudge to the Williams’ front door. I can tell by the blue light that the tv is on and I can faintly hear the sounds of Wheel of Fortune. That show is banned in our house. We watch Jeopardy! and no other game shows.

The chime of the doorbell makes me jump. Breathe. In. Out. Hurried little footsteps come toward me. This must be his little brother. I’ve seen him at school functions with his parents. The knob jiggles as he attempts to open the heavy door.

“No! I got it!” The small voice protests. And lights blind me for a second as he stares up at me. I’m already six-one. He must think I’m a giant, as he stands there with his mouth open and his eye wide before squinting at me. “Who are you? Are you Thor?”

“Uhhh, Levi Pearson?” Wow Pearson intimidated by a juvenile.

“Who’s at the door, Alex?” His voice is clear and sharp and makes shiver run down my spine. And then he fills the crack in the doorway standing behind the shorter version of the same person. His bristly dark blonde curls are cropped short. And his light blue eyes look into my soul.

“Levi?”

“Uhh, hey.”

“Why are you at my house?”

“Can we talk?”

“This couldn’t wait until school in the morning?”

“Please?”

“We won’t get very far if you keep answering questions with questions.”

“Boys, shut the door! You’re letting all the heat out.” Their dad has an intimidating presence. He’s big and muscular, and always has a shadow of coal and grease on his skin. 

Patrick eyes me wearily.

“Well come in.”

“Thanks.”

The front door leads straight into the living room. They must have painted when they bought the house. It looks totally different. Wow. How does anyone really think I am hetero? I choose to blame my mother and her HGTV habit.

“Can I help you?”

“Oh sorry. Ummm. Did you get Speiker’s assignment from yesterday? I didn’t have a chance to see him before we left for the game.” He glares at me. This was a stretch. We have one class together. Algebra II. I’m decent at it. I mean I’m holding steady to my A-, but I can play dumb.

He looks unconvinced.

“You have friends in that class, why ask me?”

I’ve got to bullshit fast. Mini-Patrick has grown bored of me and now that the door is shut their dad is back in a recliner studying the next word puzzle.

“Well, I was on my way home, and your place is on the way–”

“Are you stalking me?”

“What!?” I try to wipe my now sweaty shaking hands on front of my hoodie. It’s wetter than my hands. This is going great!

“How do you know where I live?” He looks nervous and skeptical.

“Oh. Uhh. Brad used to live here before you.”

“Ooookaaay.”

“Anyway. Your place was on my way home and I need to keep my B in Algebra to stay on the active hockey roster.

“Boys, quit flapping your gums or get out of the living room, you’re interrupting the puzzle,” his dad said while waving us to the kitchen or some other part of the house.

“Fine. Come with me.”

Patrick lead me into the house, cautiously monitoring my every move.

“Patrick. Tell your friend shoes stay at the door.” I was so busy watching Patrick watch me that I didn’t even notice his mom perched at the kitchen counter. She scrutinized me over the top of red-framed reading glasses like a mean librarian, if librarians wore paint splotched bibs. She likes to call herself an artist, but Mom says she’s just crafty with too much free time. I don’t really know what that means but I’ve seen her name on fundraiser auction items.

Patrick clears his throat to get my attention.

“Oh god,” I jump, “sorry.” I dig my toe into the heal of my right shoe popping it off and then do the same with the left. I pick up my sneakers and trudge them back to the front door and take a big deep breath before rejoining Patrick in the kitchen. He leads me down a set of stairs into another living area. It’s basically just an older version of the one upstairs. The couch is more worn, and the recliner looks nonfunctional, but cozy.

“Wait here” he leaves me in the comfy room and my eyes wonder to a wall covered in family photos. I resist the urge to memorize every one of them. Geez. I am a stalker. To calm my fidgeting, I perch on the arm of the couch and stare at the ceiling. I slide my backpack off my shoulders and hold it by the loop at the top.

“Do you have your book with you?” I look down and he’s standing in front of me, still glaring.

“Oh, uh, I don’t really need the homework. I got it from Nic. I just–”

“Dude. What’s going on here? Why the fuck are you at my house then?” His voice is icy and cuts through my small shred of confidence.

“Pat. Calm down.”

“It’s Patrick.”

“Sorry. Patrick.”

“Is this some sort of hazing, jock bet? Infiltrate to home of the homo?”

My stomach had been trying to climb out of my chest and these words drop it to the floor. I slump forward and look at my wet pack and socks. The zipper is partially open, and I can see the bright blue package. I don’t know what to say to him. Of course, that is what this looks like.

“I just wanted to give you something.” I reach into my bag and wrestle to cookie package free. I drop it onto the seat of the battered chair and head quickly back up the stairs. I jam my soggy feet into my shoes, shoulder my bad and leave the warm house without looking at any of the Williams family.

Back in the Civic, I see that I have missed 10 calls and 20 texts. I have one voicemail from home. I opt for that first knowing that all the other communications are from Nic. Mom says dinner is ready and mine will be cold by 7. I check the phone’s screen. It’s just after 7. I’ll make something up. It’ll be fine.

Nic texts again as I close the voicemail window.

Nic: Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.

Nic: <3 <3 <3 <3

Instead of trying to type out my humiliation, I opt for a call instead. I hold the phone with my shoulder as I make a U-turn and drive the five blocks home. It doesn’t take that long for me to spew my rejection and humiliation. I park behind Dad’s old beat up truck and rest my head on my steering wheel as Nic attempts to construct further plans. They seem way more invested in my love life than I am right now. I’m half listening to Nic and half listening to my stomach growling. Tall athletes should not miss meals. But despite its protests I don’t think I can keep anything down.

“Lee!”

“Huh?”

“Are you listening to me or wallowing?”

“Definitely wallowing,” I huff. My breath is starting to fog up my windows.

“Babe, remember when you tripped on your own stick while skating toward the undefended goal in the game against Casper?”

“Wow. As if I didn’t feel shitty enough, thanks Nic.”

“Did you give up hockey after that game?”

“No, but that’s different.”

“You’re right it’s a different kind of match between boys playing with stick.”

“Cute.”

“The cutest enby you know.”

“You’re the only enbee I know.”

“Babe, I can hear you shivering. Go inside. Can me later.”

“Sure.”

I lift my head and realize I have sat here long enough for the snow to coat it windshield. And I think my socks are starting to freeze to my shoes.

[ferryboatpeak]

Original mpreg anon here, please continue this I love it!! And I LOVE it being end game gryles. Maybe once Harry realizes he’s actually pregnant he moves in with nick, unofficially, like he did back in 2012, and when nick halfheartedly protests he explains that it’s really all nick’s fault that he took the test ‘without you none of this would have happened nicholas’. even though he’s pretty sure that’s not how pregnancy works he can never say no to harry, self preservation be damned...

It’s you, the real hero! Thank you for checking in, and thank you for this premise that I have completely taken astray!

[links to previous six installments here]

I am so sorry to have to tell you that Harry does not move in with Nick. This is partly because I’ve already written pregnant Harry moving in with somebody and I want something different. BUT ALSO because Harry is rich as hell, and I do not want to deny him the pleasure of nesting the fuck out of Erskine House. This is what he was waiting for, back when he was a teenager buying a house because he thought he had to, even though it felt too big, too lonely, too much. He wasn’t expecting it to happen this way, of course, but it all makes sense. This is the moment he’s been waiting for. He’s gonna finish that nest, and he’s gonna hatch a baby.

It’s good to be back in London, hanging out with his London friends and enjoying a long stretch of time with no official appearance. He figures he’s got at least a couple of months before he’ll be showing that much, if he buys himself some time by eating smart and keeping off the weight that’s just post-tour laziness. So when he and Nick are shopping one afternoon, he drags Nick into a couple of posh baby shops and buys some very expensive but very adorable little outfits. (Decisions about clothing a girl baby present a painful struggle between Harry’s love of pink and Harry’s love of gender fluidity.)

Of course, a blurry cellphone photo makes the rounds on twitter and tumblr. Harry’s in thousand-dollar trackies, holding up a striped onesie to get Nick’s opinion (#gryles baby shopping #get married already #put a baby in him). Liz gets fifty anons and starts a moodboard about it. But everyone just assumes they’re shopping for one of Harry’s or Nick’s millions of godchildren.

Harry’s favorite scruffy white boys come over to the house for writing sessions, laying the groundwork for the second album. Harry pours all of his pregnancy feelings into his songwriting, and the results are pretty fucking weird. Obscure instruments, references to waxing moons and ripening fruit, and an extended Virgin Mary metaphor that just does not work. But there’s also a couple of hormonal rage tunes that really bang. Tyler and Alex emerge shaken. Mitch takes it in stride. (Harry’s even more cuddly than usual.)

Harry’s seeing his medical team regularly, with all the secrecy you’d expect: after-hours appointments, entering the hospital at the loading dock and being escorted to the clinic down back hallways, and so on. The perinatologists and internists who are overseeing his care don’t have any day-to-day concerns, aside from the overarching question of where the hell this is going.

But the doctor that Harry gets the most attached to is his original OB. She’s the one who’ll listen attentively to his rambling questions and patiently answer whether he can have peanut butter and why he’s taking so much folic acid and whether hot yoga is allowed and what position the baby might be in if Harry feels a kick right here, no, a little more on the side, yeah, like there, do you think she’s facing front or back? Can she turn? What if she turns?

The other doctors, the specialists, are fascinated by Harry’s case, but he’s a lot to deal with day to day, you know? They’re relieved to wave his questions off to the OB whenever they can. At one evening visit to the imaging department, somewhere around week 26, everybody realizes that Harry hasn’t taken a gestational diabetes test. The hospital doesn’t have a supply of the glucose drink, it’s late, and the doctors just want to get home. Everyone decides that Harry can just drop by the OB’s office tomorrow to do the test.

Harry and Nick meet up for brunch the next day. They’ve got some time to kill before Nick’s due at work, so Nick ends up going to the doctor’s office with Harry. It’s November, which means that Harry’s got on a hoodie and two shirts and a giant shearling-lined coat. He doesn’t look pregnant, he just looks bundled up for winter. (However, Harry definitely looks pregnant when he’s only wearing pants. He’s slept over a couple of times, snoring on his side of Nick’s bed with a furry pillow doubled over under his belly, and it’s seriously fucking with Nick’s head.)

Nick laughs at Harry’s grimace of disgust when he downs the glucose drink. They sit in companionable silence, messing about on their phones, while they wait out the prescribed period before the blood draw. Nick makes tattoo jokes to the phlebotomist. Harry passes the test and is predictably smug about it, and Nick tells him that of course his system’s great at processing sugar, he’s had enough practice, hasn’t he.

On their way back to the car park, someone shouts at them to hold the elevator. Harry gives Nick a nervous glance, even as he sticks his arm out to block the door, because Harry’s got to be a nice guy even when it creates the possibility of an awkward elevator fan encounter. The source of the request clatters into view down the hallway: a woman pushing a toddler in a stroller, with an overloaded diaper bag slipping off her shoulder, hustling toward the elevator as fast as she can when her kid is obviously due to have a younger sibling in the very near future.

Slow down, it’s all right, we’re not leaving, Nick and Harry call out. She makes it to the elevator and between huffs of breath she thanks them several times and explains that her husband has the car today, her bus is leaving in a few minutes, if she doesn’t catch it she’ll be waiting around with the baby in the cold for an hour. Then she starts fussing with the diaper bag, clipping it to the handles of the stroller, and Nick and Harry exchange a look of relief when she doesn’t give any indication that she recognizes them.

Harry shifts position so he can grin and wave at the baby in the stroller. Nick’s heart does something funny. Shopping for baby clothes, seeing the silhouette on the ultrasound… all of that felt vaguely fictional, like the most extreme version of all of their old pregnancy jokes. But watching Harry’s face light up as he says a big exaggerated “hiiiiiiiiiiiii” to the baby, that really makes Nick realize that Harry’s going to have a baby sooner rather than later. Harry and a baby. Nick wants a baby, in an abstract but real kind of a way, and somehow Harry got there first. He got there without Nick.

The elevator reaches the ground floor and Nick and Harry step out of the way so that the pregnant mum can dash to her bus. But she only makes it a few feet before the diaper bag comes unhooked from the stroller and hits the ground, spewing its contents everywhere. A sippy cup goes rolling halfway across the granite floor of the lobby. She swears sharply, clenches her fists, and bursts into frustrated tears. The toddler in the stroller follows suit.

Harry immediately crouches down and tries to amuse/distract/comfort the baby. Nick scrambles around the lobby, retrieving the sippy cup and shoving wipes and baggies of snacks and the woman’s phone back into the diaper bag. He tries to loop it back over the handles of the stroller and she says no, no, she’ll take it, she was such an idiot for putting it there in the first place, god, this has been the worst fucking day.

Nick gives her an awkward hug and says something comforting that feels entirely inadequate. She sniffles against his shoulder. Meanwhile, Harry has converted the toddler from tears to hiccupy giggles. You guys are so nice, thank you so much, says the woman, and she and her kid head off to the bus stop.

Nick and Harry don’t think anything more of it, until a few days later, when one of Nick’s occasional visits to the gryles tag makes it clear that somebody in the lobby got some photos of them that day. Harry talking to the baby, Nick hugging the woman. There’s lots of speculation about the identity of the mystery mum, but nobody seems to have found her. Thank god, Nick thinks, the poor woman.

He puts it out of his mind. But the next day, the professional media picks up the photos, and Nick’s confronted with his face on a tabloid and a headline that feels like a kick to the chest:

Harry Styles and Nick Grimshaw Visit Doctor With Their Surrogate