#seriously tho does anyone else see the resemblance?

[alphashley14]

🎃👻🔥Halloween Hot Take: 🔥👻🎃

Why does Joel Glicker, Wednesday’s nerd boyfriend from Camp Chippewa in ‘Addams Family Values,�� look like a young Egon Spengler?

[fredrickzoller]

Hey there :))

First of all, big fan of your work, read your landstrom works and fell into an obsession with ib and these two, so I started working on a fanfic about landstrom too hshshs

And I was today years old, with a 8k words WIP, reading Hellstrom's fandom wiki article, when I noticed that he does NOT canonicly have a sister, aka that the sister I thought was canon (Johanna I believe) was your original idea. So I thought I'd better ask if incorporating her in my story would be okay for you because the last thing I want is to be stealing other creators' ideas🙈

If not, which is totally understandable, I'll of course change the bits where she's mentioned :)

Have a nice day!

Hi, thank you so much for your encouraging message! I think it's super amazing that what I've shared about Johanna Hellstrom and her relationship with Dieter thus far in my fics has left enough of an impression that you thought it was canon! Seriously, that's awesome and a huge a compliment. :') As for including Johanna... well, I have some Landstrom WIPs started (not posted) that include her as a main character and focus heavily and her and Dieter's relationship and my headcanons for his background as a whole, which involve her. So I would prefer she not be used by anyone else at this time. But that being said, I think if you want to give Dieter a sister or any sibling/family background, you should totally go for it, and I'd be interested in reading your fic when you're done (wow, 8k!) I would just prefer his sibling to not be Johanna. I appreciate that you would reach out and ask, tho. ❤️ Since we're talking about her, here's a snippet from my WIP Der klaren Sterne, the one where she's featured as a main character. Hope you like it. Dieter is the worst brother ever.

He tries to be inconspicuous about reading the magazine over her shoulder, darting glances as he idly smokes a cigarette. After all, there's nothing in any of the articles that he, as an SS Officer, doesn't already know. But when she stays on a page featuring a recipe for Vanillekipferl, and a photograph of the moon-shaped almond cookies, she catches him looking a little too long. “Do you want me to make these?” she asks through a grin. “Someone should make them. Maybe not you, though, so we still have a kitchen by the end of it. Let Inge handle it.” Inge Wiechert is the head of the small, close-knit staff at the Blumengartenhaus, an exceptional cook and a lifelong friend of Clara's. She's something resembling an aunt to Dieter and Johanna, and dotes on them both. Johanna swats him gently. “I can bake!” she says indignantly, but still smiling. “You can certainly put ingredients in the oven with the intention of baking them.” She swats him again. “I've gotten better! I'll even be making pfirsichkuchen tonight for dinner – and before you say anything, I've been practicing with Inge, using her recipe; it's Kurt's favorite.” “Favorite book, favorite dessert... are you sure he's not accompanying the Fuehrer himself, that he's receiving this sort of welcome home?” “I'm just doing what any good wife would do,” she asserts, ignoring Dieter's sarcasm. Although war is not an environment that breeds happiness, he's never seen Johanna so content as she is now, a proud wife and mother-to-be. But when she sees that this answer still isn't appeasing Dieter, she says, “I'll make you the cookies before you leave, I promise. A birthday present.” He's slated to depart for Bonn on New Year's Day, three days before his thirtieth birthday. A present in the form of cookies is, admittedly, juvenile, and yet... “I wouldn't say no if you'd like to try.”

[talaofthevalley]

As a fan of horror who is also an absolute wuss when it comes to actually consuming horror, I am so fucking stoked Horikoshi implemented a fuck load of horror imagery and theming with Dabi and his whole story. The Frankenstein resemblance has been mentioned everywhere already so I won't touch on that but be sure I love that too.

With just his looks there's so much. The burnt purple skin. The staples covering him and looking to be holding him together, made even better and gruesome with Horikoshi's detailed artwork. His black clothing and ripped jacket that also has staples on them(gotta follow that theme). The bright blue eyes that you just know would appear to glow in his eyes sockets when framed by the purple scarring under them, like permanent eyebags. That his whole lower jaw is scarred and stapled so you can almost see Dabi unhinging his jaw in your mind. In Japan there's a supernatural creature called Onibi, spirits born from the corpses of humans and animals who take the form of blue fire. Are often also resentful spirits. Blue fire in general seems to be associate with the supernatural and the dead there(anyone who knows more feel free to correct me or add onto that tho).

But even beyond his design, his whole backstory and character is jam-packed with horror imagery. The Todoroki's being the most traditionally japanese in the whole series adds even more(seriously Japan has such amasing horror stories, whether it's movies or games or books, if you're interested pls try and check some stuff out).

Died as a young child, and kids in horror movies are both infamous and a staple, especially when they're wearing white. Touya died wearing his white track suit. His new costume is based on japanese burial clothing. Touya burned to death alone on a mountain, a cremation of his own making. No corpse was ever found except part of his jaw. The horror stories writes itself with just that, like you cannot tell me there's not an urban legend based on Touya's death on that mountain in-universe. Is the ghost of a child said to forever wander the mountain, searching for his lost jaw, or waiting for someone to finally join him in his solitude?

But then he didn't actually die. He was brought to a facility that was actually a front for human experimentation and also works as a supply of spare children in case the plans of the man behind all this don't work out with the child he has already taken. Touya wakes up to find out his body is unfamiliar to him. Three years has passed him by. His body was so far gone parts from other people had to be supplied. Normal in the case of skin grafts, but what else needed to be switched out? And either way Touya was operated on without his knowledge and then watched over and taken care of by people he does not know. And when he wakes up no one refers to him by name and he's told he can't go home.

But he does. And finds a shrine dedicated to him, his existence forgotten and left behind, and the rage and grief this spikes in him is enough for a new entity to be born. Something dark and twisted but stronger than Touya. Someone who can take revenge for the life that was lost in such a cruel way. No one else will, so Touya, Dabi, has to do it himself.

Always the ghost of the Todoroki family, there for others to simper by his shrine and use his memory in any way they please to fit them.

In reality he's been a vengeful spirit for years, finally taking his control and agency back. The sacrifice come back to life to take revenge on those who wronged him. The ghost that escaped the house.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Hi! This is for the prompts: LWJ and WWX get together at Cloud Recesses but it’s a secret. When it does come out tho, probably due to WWX mischief some how. JC comes to the conclusion that LWJ has managed to ‘defile WWXs honor’ and now JC has no choice but to fight on behalf of his big brother, who clearly has been wronged.

Honor, Defended - ao3

Untamed

1

“What are they doing,” Jiang Cheng said, voice strangled, eyes staring.

Nie Huaisang stood up on his toes and squinted over his new friend’s shoulder. “Fighting?”

It looked like fighting.

“No.”

Not fighting? In that case, at least by Nie sect standards, that meant –

“Flirting?”

Jiang Cheng growled, which meant Nie Huaisang’s guess was right. “I’m going to kill the rotten bastard in white! I bet he waited until Wei Wuxian was alone just for this. How dare he take advantage of my – of Wei Wuxian!”

“I mean, I don’t know about that? They seem about tied,” Nie Huaisang said, making a mental note – not that many people could match up against Lan Wangji, especially when he was in a you-are-breaking-the-rules sort of snit. “Each one’s giving as good as the other gets, if you know what I mean…I’m talking about fighting!” He added hastily, seeing Jiang Cheng’s expression. “Just the fighting! And hey, maybe the Lan sect doesn’t flirt through fighting?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jiang Cheng said. “All cultivation sects flirt through fighting.”

Damnit, Nie Huaisang thought to himself with a sigh. That means I’m going to have to train with saber after all if I’m going to get somewhere here, doesn’t it? Well, at least da-ge will be pleased…

“Are you going to interrupt?” he asked, hiding his face behind his fan. “If fighting is flirting…”

As expected, Jiang Cheng choked. “Not all fighting is flirting!” he hissed. “But that most certainly is!”

Nie Huaisang didn’t understand fighting, so he just shrugged.

“Why don’t you confront him later?” he suggested, but Jiang Cheng shook his head, his features already settling into a mulish expression that had no right to look as attractive as it was. “All right, I see I can’t convince you. Good luck defending your brother’s honor, then?”

-

2

“If Lan Wangji doesn’t stop flirting with Wei Wuxian in class, I’m going to do something violent,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Okay, now I know you’re delusional,” Nie Huaisang said. “But still very pretty. Oh, I’m torn…actually no, I think I’m fine. I mean, what cultivator do I know that isn’t a bit delusional?”

“Can you stop talking nonsense and focus on how we’re going to split them up?” Jiang Cheng demanded irritably. Really, it was no wonder that Nie Huaisang’s best attempts at flirting were going nowhere. Jiang Cheng was thick.

In many appealing ways. Mm.

Damn his bad taste.

“Well, I think first you have to start by reversing your statement until it resembles the truth a bit more,” Nie Huaisang said, trying to be practical. “It’s Wei-xiong that’s flirting with Lan-er-gongzi, not the other way around.”

“He’s just like that!”

“A giant flirt, you mean?”

“Sociable,” Jiang Cheng insisted with the sort of blindly loyal stubbornness that was sadly very, very appealing to those surnamed Nie. Mouthwatering, even.

“Right,” Nie Huaisang said, dabbing at his mouth with his sleeve to make sure he wasn’t drooling. “I see. All right, I’ll help you. I’ll even promise to find a way to break them up for good, guaranteed – but first you have to meet one condition.”

Jiang Cheng arched his eyebrows, looking unwillingly intrigued. “Name it.”

“You have to come up with one way in which Lan-er-gongzi has been flirting with Wei Wuxian that isn’t ‘he existed being pretty in his general direction’.”

Jiang Cheng opened his mouth.

Nie Huaisang waited.

“…maybe he should consider being less pretty,” Jiang Cheng grumbled.

Nie Huaisang patted him on the shoulder, then left his hand on his shoulder because why not.

“We’ve all thought that about him over the years,” he said. “Better luck next time.”

3

“You’re supposed to be helping me preserve my brother’s honor!” Jiang Cheng hissed at Nie Huaisang, who had made absolutely no promises of that sort without giant loopholes that he could walk right out of. “Not – encouragingthis!”

“I didn’t! I just helped Wei-gongzi play a tiny little prank –”

“With pornography!”

“Tasteful erotic art,” Nie Huaisang corrected.

“With cutsleeve pornography!”

“Cutsleeve tasteful erotic art.”

“Nie Huaisang! You’re missing the point!”

“Am I?” Nie Huaisang asked thoughtfully, tapping his fan against his lips. “I don’t know, I’m not sure I am. Can you explain what the point is again?”

Jiang Cheng threw his hands up into the air. “Listen, it was bad enough when Wei Wuxian got thrown out of Teacher Lan’s classes and had to go copy rules in the Library Pavilion for a month; that’s disgraceful and loses face for our sect, but at least his personal honor was preserved –”

Bad scholarship was, in fact, not an impediment to having personal honor. Nie Huaisang knew this fact forwards, backwards, and intimately.

“But then Teacher Lan fell for Lan Wangji’s tricks and decided to assign him to supervise copying –”

“Lan-er-gongzi has tricks? That’s news to me.”

“…well, either way, they got cooped up there in that room, together, alone, for – for weeks!”

“Hasn’t Lan-er-gongzi been using the muting spell on Wei-xiong most of that time?”

“No, eventually Wei Wuxian learned his lesson and now he shuts himself up whenever he sees him starting up the spell, he complains to me and shijie about it constantly every night,” Jiang Cheng said, grumbling. “Stop interrupting me!”

“Sorry. Go ahead.”

“Anyway, if that wasn’t enough, you’re now encouragingthis debacle by setting up a prank that involves Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and cutsleeve pornography.”

“I did,” Nie Huaisang agreed. “And it’s tasteful erotic art, Jiang-xiong.”

“Why do you keep insisting on that?” Jiang Cheng snapped. “Isn’t it the same thing?”

“No,” Nie Huaisang said patiently. “Because I also have pornography, and it’s a lot less tasteful.”

Jiang Cheng stopped, utterly distracted from his previous rant. “...you do?”

“Mm. Want to see?”

-

4

“Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan, wait for me, I want to talk to you – I need you! See, for whatever reason, I can’t find Jiang Cheng anywhere. Can you help me look –”

Nie Huaisang shut his window before Jiang Cheng could overhear and get distracted.

They were busy.

-

5

“All right,” Nie Huaisang said. “I admit it, you’re right.”

Jiang Cheng looked at him. “…you do?”

“I do.”

“Right about…what?”

“About the flirting, and Lan Wangji having tricks,” Nie Huaisang said, nodding wisely. “See, the Lan sect take their rules about their forehead ribbons very seriously. It’s parents, children, and lovers only. So if you ran into Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji entangled on the path near the back mountain, both of them soaking wet, with Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon wrapped around their wrists…why, that’s practically an elopement!”

Jiang Cheng, predictably, turned purple. “He eloped with my – I’m going to kill him!”

“Have fun with that,” Nie Huaisang said happily, and watched as Jiang Cheng drew his sword and charged, shouting something.

Wei Wuxian attempted to defend their conduct, except apparently their conduct involved finding the ghost of a Lan sect ancestor –

“Did you bow?” Nie Huaisang asked, very unhelpfully. “Both of you? So you’d say you’ve made your bows to the older generation? Have you bowed to heaven and earth yet, too?”

Lan Wangji gave him a death glare, but maybe he should have thought of that before writing to Nie Huaisang’s brother disclosing details about Nie Huaisang’s love life.

“I’m going to kill you!” Jiang Cheng roared.

Nie Huaisang smiled over his fan at Lan Wangji and gave a jaunty little wave.

-

+1

A few days earlier

“Wait, so, you’re actually together?” Nie Huaisang asked, and Lan Wangji nodded. They were having tea together the way they always did at the middle of the week, a tradition started long ago when their brothers were visiting and being utterly intolerable. Even their long-standing fight with each other would be put aside for mid-week tea. “Well done!”

Lan Wangji’s ears turned a little red. “Mm.” After a few moments, he added, “Mm.”

“No, no, I don’t think you need to worry,” Nie Huaisang said. “He may seem flighty, but he’s very loyal…the Jiang sect might object, though. They can be a bit tetchy about these things.”

Arched eyebrows.

“What do you mean, how would I know? Have you somehow missedthat I’ve been trying to snag Jiang Cheng all summer? There are more things in this world than Wei Wuxian’s waistline, shapely as it may be.”

Eyes narrowing.

“…don’t you dare tell my brother!”

A smirk, not that anyone else – excluding Lan Xichen – would know.

“I don’t care about your ‘appropriate conduct’! If you tell my brother that I’m dating instead of studying, I’ll find a way to make your life miserable, too! Just you wait!”

[divinefireangel]

Hello writer bestie ˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົ⁎⁺˳✧ really love your writings so I wanna request a reaction for sf9 where they're collabing with their idol crushes group and while they met up to discuss the collab they just walk in on the group Chaoticlly dancing to one of their songs? (Their crush is dancing their part) thank youuu❣ (っ'-')╮=͟͟͞͞💌♡(*>ω<)ω<*)♡

Omg omg I LOVE Idol! SF9 x Idol! Reader ideas!!!! 🥺

Warnings: FLUFF. Flustered SF9 😂.

YB:

He'd get so shy omg

Smiles so much his eyes look closed cause his cheeks are all swelled up

That is until he loses it

Covers his mouth and starts laughing his cute laugh 🥺

He'll laugh loudly and till he's on the ground lol

Cause he's never seen you do anything like that before and he just finds it so cute

His will be pinky pink even when he calms down and heart will be beating so fast from seeing you so happy rapping his part

IS:

He's kinda shocked

Cause he's the main vocal and has difficult vocal parts and stuff

Yet here you are

Being all goofy and still hitting his high notes????

Smirk-smiles and his eyes NEVER leave you

When you stop cause you saw him, he'll just shoot you a smile which proceeds onto a grin

Everyone else in the room is still laughing but he's just proud *winks at you*

He's hallucinating pretty flowers and spotlights on you

Cause you're all that matters to him right now

JY:

Creature of chaos 1

I can see him joining you amidst the chaos 😂😂

He's gonna hype you up

He'll hype you till the both of you are dancing crazily making everyone laugh till their stomachs hurt

This is on the outside

On the inside, he feels like his heart is gonna burst

He won't be able to stop smiling

Seriously, his cheeks may fall off but he'll continue to smile 😂

He's definitely dumbfounded after your "performance"

Because he doesn't know what to say or if he should or if he shouldn't cause what if he embarrasses you or smthn

My god just talk to him lmao

DW:

Creature of chaos 2

You think you were doing a chaotic dance???

Nope 😂

Wait till he joins you lol

Legit having the time of his life next to you

You don't know when he starts to laugh

But it makes you laugh too aww

He's such an excited baby cause he adores you so much

Yeah he's still jumping from happiness 😭

Bravely asks you out on a date later 😉

RW:

Creature if chaos 3 😂

He's shy and blushy

BUT SO LOUD

He swears his stopped beating door a second when he saw you

Cause you looked perfect.

The brightest most genuine smile adorning your face

Cute laughter echoing to his ears

Yeah he's probably fallen for you 🥺

There's no way he won't ask you out now and there's no way you'll be able to say no

ZH:

A delayed Creature of Chaos (4) 💀

When he enters the practice room and sees you

He'll just freeze 😂

But it's only for a moment tho

Cause he's gonna stART DOING HIS HAPPY DANCE WHILE CHEERING FOR YOU

It's just him and you in the world for him at this point in time 🥺

Makes weird JuJu noises for sure lol

After you're done, he'll just stare at you with the biggest smile and most love filled eyes

YT:

Okay he's a bit complicated 😂

On one hand, he's so sunshine-y overjoyed

But then again he's protesting a bit 😂😂😂

You know how he reacts when Sanghyuk does the hair drying pose of his?

Like that

He wants to stop you but God forbid he take that blinding smile off your face

When his protests won't work, he'll just be staring at you and your bandmates + his bandmates who have joined you all in the fun from his side of the room

Which is near the door

Cause he's frozen adoring your beautiful happy expressing

HY:

He's shocked lol

He wants to seem all confident and stuff

To try and stop you from embarrassing him further 💀

But you look so adorable and small doing his part but just so 🥺-ly

He just starts melting

Excited little jumps with the gummiest of smiles

Face resembles a tomato hehe

At some point he started to bit his lip ☠️🤭

CH:

Wide eyed baby 😂

Doesn't know what is happening

Looking everywhere

Feels like his reality is shifting 😂😂

He's fascinated?

But he doesn't know why exactly

Was it cause you look amazing doing what he does, only like 15 times better

Or is it cause you have the prettiest smile in the room doing it, oozing confidence in your wake

Capturing his heart more than he ever thought anyone could

Oof what a puppy 🥺

[jetsetreid]

ignore me like we never met before - spencer reid x reader - chapter 1/?

Summary: Spencer Reid annoys you. Enemies to lovers with a side of BDSM (to follow -- no sex in this chapter, sorry!) 

A/N: New to CM fandom, hiiii. With the s7 cast (the elite) but set post-Maeve storyline. Title from Ignore me by Betty Who.

Word Count: 2.5k

Spencer Reid was annoying. And not just in the normal ways you might find someone annoying. Spencer was annoying in an extraordinary way, that only someone with an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory could be. The most annoying part was that he never really met your quips or participated in your banter. 

It made you look like an asshole, which was completely unfair of him. Because you knew Spencer returned your feelings. You annoyed him as well. He avoided you constantly and when he did speak to you, he made sure it was case related. You didn’t sit next to each other on the jet, or at team outings. Hotch almost never paired you together. You recognized, in the back of your head, that you should be thankful for this, but you just found it to be another thing about him that annoyed you.

Despite your lack of time spent together, you couldn’t help yourself. When an opportunity presented itself, you just had to push back. It didn’t matter though, because he never said anything back. He always let you insult him and looked away without a reaction. 

--

Your favorite pastime. Team drinks. And you were stuck sitting next to JJ and across from Spencer, with everyone else further down the double-sided booth. Spencer and JJ had been chatting all night about her kids and a film festival Spencer went to every year and had recently joined the board of organizers. If it wasn’t for the fact that Spencer was involved, the film festival might have actually sounded interesting. 

Instead, it was mind numbingly boring. You tried to focus your attention on Morgan and Penelope down the booth, but they were too caught up in each other to notice your desperate attempts to strike up a conversation. 

Emily showing up to team drinks was a godsend

“Emily, thank god,” you shrieked. “Sit next to me!”

Emily slid into the booth next to you and quickly ordered a drink before the two of you fell into a conversation. You were discussing Emily’s new girlfriend and how tangled up in each other they’ve been. You’ve missed her lately. This was the first time she’d actually shown up to team drinks in months.

“You know, I like Eleanor and I’m happy for you, but falling in love is gross.” You said it with no bite and a smile on your face. You were teasing her. 

“Actually,” Spencer cut in, “Falling in love has a similar neurological effect as getting high on cocaine.”

You rolled your eyes so hard they almost fell out. What did boy wonder know about falling in love? And why was he involving himself in a conversation that had nothing to do with him? Spencer and JJ had been ignoring you all night. Okay, maybe JJ tried to include you in their conversation, but still. 

“Another fact you read, but don’t know in practice, right?” you asked, eyeing him with spite. You were fairly new to the team, almost a year in, but you just knew there was no way Spencer Reid had been in love before. 

Emily tensed up beside you and JJ fell silent as well. You figured Spencer would ignore your comment, like ways. He never ever rose to your insults.  

“What about you, we all know you’ve been high on cocaine. So even though you’ve never found anyone to love you, it’s almost the same thing.” 

JJ choked out a laugh. Emily smirked without meeting your eyes. All you could do was glare. 

The team knew about your party days in college, although you’d never outright said you’d done cocaine. The reality is that you had and quite a bit too. Your first couple of years in college were a blur of a party until you calmed down your junior year and took academics seriously.

But Spencer never challenged you, so what made this so different? Maybe you hit a nerve. Everyone knew he was lacking in the relationship department. 

“I’ve found plenty of people to love me,” you said with a smirk. 

“For the night,” Spencer added, with a bite.

You should’ve been annoyed or angry, you should’ve told him to shut up, but you didn’t. Because seeing him take the bait after almost a year of digs made something in your stomach flutter. You were finally getting to him.

“Yeah, wouldn’t you like to know?”

Spencer meet you with hard, scowling eyes. Emily and JJ followed your back and forth like a tennis match. 

“What’s that saying? If you caught fire, I wouldn’t piss to put you out.”

“Jesus, Spence,” JJ muttered. 

“Those are Fall Out Boy lyrics,” you responded with a glare. He was such a dick.

Spencer shrugged. “Sentiment stands.” 

You dropped it after that. You hated to give him the win, but another round of drinks appeared, and Emily quickly changed the subject. 

-- 

Spencer didn’t stop after that. It was becoming a problem. Mostly because Hotch could shrug off your mouth before. Most of the team thought you were just teasing, and because Spencer never reacted, they all saw it as harmless. 

But he was reacting now and the two of you were trading insults like siblings. You were being childish, but so was he so you didn’t stop. At first, it was almost fun. But Spencer was too quick, too smart. He didn’t even have to try. 

Another case, another jet ride. 

“Maybe the unsub has something on these victims. With this amount of overkill…” you trailed off, eyeing the photos in front of you on your tablet.

“Actually,” Spencer started. This was the fifth time he’d interrupted you (yes, you were counting) and you’d only been on the jet for 30 minutes. 

“Oh my god,” you groaned, snapping your finger in front of his face. “Does anyone get to give an opinion on anything without you actually’ing them?”

He swatted your hand away. “That’s not a word,” Spencer sighed. “Maybe I always have to interject because like your vocabulary, your opinions resemble that of a 3rd grader.” 

“Focus,” Hotch commanded. You could tell by the tone of his voice that he was absolutely done with both of you so you dropped it and you kept the rest of your opinions to yourself. The worst part of Spencer finally participating in your insult war was that he was always winning. He was smarter than you and he wasn’t afraid to let you know it. 

It didn’t bother you at first, but after weeks of him always getting the upper hand, it started to. You felt stupid and you started to question your spot on the team. You absolutely hated that you let him get into your head like this.

--

The case wrapped up later that week. Unsub caught. Another jet ride home. 

You gathered your things from the bullpen when Hotch appeared, singling for you and Spencer. 

“I need to see you both in my office.”

Derek winced and Emily patted you on the back. “Try not to murder each other in there.” 

“Yeah, good fuckin’ luck,” Derek added with a laugh as they both headed to the elevators. 

You ignored them and started walking up the stairs, quickly followed by Spencer. You both took a seat with your eyes glued to Hotch. You knew what was coming.

“Y/L/N, Reid,” Hotch started. “I’m not happy to be having this conversation. Your behavior has been juvenile and unproductive.”

You twisted your hands in your lap. This felt like getting reprimanded by a parent and you did not like it. Your stomach twisted with guilt.

“I don’t care about whatever rivalry the two of you have going on and I certainly don’t need you to be best of friends, but your behavior is affecting the team. And I need it to end.”

You nodded, refusing to look anywhere near Spencer.

“I understand, sir,” you breathed, voice low. “Consider it ended.”

Spencer nodded, “I apologize. It won’t be a problem anymore.” You saw him looking your way out of the corner of your eye, but you refused to take your eyes off Hotch. You felt terrible, having disappointed your boss.  

You both exited his office with a quiet sigh. Your heart felt heavy. 

You wouldn’t admit it, but you were secretly glad Hotch put an end to things. You knew you had started all of this, but Spencer’s words were like a poison. They were all you could think about some nights, tossing and turning. Were you really that stupid? Like a 3rd grader? Did everyone see it? You often wondered how you even landed this job after the things Spencer said about you. 

Hotch’s door clicked shut behind you as the both of you walked to your desks. You could tell Spencer was just as upset as you and you wanted to comfort him somehow, but you quickly pushed down the foreign and unwelcome thought. 

Spencer lifted his bag over his shoulder, eyeing you finally. “Just stay out of my way from now on, Y/L/N.” 

You really wanted to fight back, but instead you felt tears prick at your eyes. How fucking annoying. You absolutely refused to cry in front of Spencer Reid, but you knew he could tell how emotional you were. He was a profiler after all, and you weren’t even trying to hide it.

“Just stop, Reid,” you whispered, grabbing your purse and exiting the bullpen. You didn’t wait for him at the elevator. In front, you hit the “close doors” button rapidly until they slid shut, leaving you alone.

--

Weeks passed. You were quietly miserable. Spencer ignored you. Hotch watched the two of you constantly. Everyone else did as well, and it was suffocating. You barely spoke up anymore, always having to be prompted by Hotch, or sometimes Derek and Emily. Even JJ and Rossi. Anyone but Spencer. He didn’t care what you had to say and he didn’t even bother pretending like he did. 

You knew you were acting unreasonable, but you still felt scolded by Hotch and now isolated by the rest of the team. Realistically, you knew that wasn’t the case, but Spencer had known them all for a decade and sometimes it felt like they all took his side. It hurt your feelings, as irritating as that was to admit.

Things boiled over in Phoenix. An unsub that the team hadn’t exactly profiled right. A mistake you made, dropping your gun and moving close. You thought you could talk him down. You were very, very wrong.

It happened so fast. The unsub grabbing you, bringing you to his front, your back firmly against his front. He wrapped his arm around your neck, applying pressure. 

He was using you as a human shield. His other hand rose and you felt the cool metal of the unsub’s gun against your temple. You couldn’t speak. Why couldn’t you speak? You were trained for this, but right now you felt helpless. Derek and Spencer stood in front of you, trying to talk him down, but you couldn’t make out their words. You could tell they were panicked, and you knew this wasn’t going to end well.

The unsub – Randall Gaines – tightened his arm around your neck, cutting off your oxygen just a bit more. You felt a tear slide down your cheek. You were going to die in a shitty motel in Phoenix, Arizona. Right in front of Reid and Morgan. Bullet through the skull. They were going to walk out of here with your blood splattered all over them, but you weren’t walking out of this room at all. 

You felt your grip on reality slip as his chokehold tightened, your eyes slipping shut. Darkness. 

--

You woke to Derek crouched in front of you, breathing a sigh of relief. You were still alive. You were still in the shitty motel room.

The unsub was dead next to you, both of you on the ground. You’d passed out, but only for a couple of seconds. You were fine. 

Derek helped you up, snaking an arm around you for support. He loaded you into the backseat of the SUV while you waited for backup.

The ambulance came and checked you out, the coroner carried away the unsub’s body and the three of you left. No one spoke, least of all you.

--

The jet ride home was not pleasant. You avoided everyone’s concerned eyes by taking a seat in the back and putting your headphones in. You didn’t even listen to anything, but it guaranteed that everyone left you alone. 

When you got back to Virginia, Hotch grabbed your shoulder, leading your away from the team out into the hallway. “Take a few days, okay, Y/N?”

You nodded. “Okay.” Your voice was barely there, a rough whisper at best. The paramedic had warned you of this. Loss of voice, coughing, trouble swallowing. Red eyes, headaches, bruising. Even nausea. Although you weren’t sure if that was from the injuries or the situation in general. 

Hotch eyed you, sighing. “I want you to know you are a valued member of this team. See you next week.”

You nodded again before rushing to the elevators. Which would have been great, had it not been for one Penelope Garcia. 

She saw you and scurried over, pulling you into an embrace. “Y/N,” she breathed. “I am so happy you’re okay.”

Maybe it was because it was Penelope, or maybe it was just because of the day you had, but you hugged her back, clinging. She pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Movies and takeout?”

You found yourself nodding without realizing it. You had missed this. The past couple of weeks you had been so closed off, so worried about your place on this team. But now you were too tired and too distressed to worry. You followed Penelope out of the building. 

--

Derek showed up with a 12 pack of White Claw and a bottle of white wine. 

“Your favorites,” he grinned.

Emily and JJ followed with Chinese takeout.  The five of you spread out on Penelope’s couch and the floor in front of it. You smiled despite the burning in your throat, the hoarseness of your voice and the bruising you were sure was developing around your throat. 

You smiled and cracked open a White Claw, attention on the latest episode of Saturday Night Live. You missed your friends. 

Until the door quietly opened and Spencer Reid appeared. He looked uncomfortable. He brushed his his hair behind his ear and sat down on the floor with his legs crossed next to Derek. 

“I brought DVDs,” he said, holding up a handful of them. 

“Thanks,” you whispered. You didn’t mean to say anything, but you didn’t take it back. You even offered him a small smile. 

“Pretty boy, it’s all about streaming these days,” Morgan rolled his eyes, “but it’s the thought that counts.” And then he ruffled Spencer’s hair. You smiled again. 

Even with Spencer Reid in the mix, you were happy.

[hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong]

Mother's day

It was mother's day in Chaldea and like with many other holidays things got just a bit more lively then normal. Most servants weren't able to properly celebrate, being either children without their mothers or mothers without their children but some made do.

Jack insisted on a gift for master, even tho he wasn't a fan of the "mama" label. Raikou expected gifts from her children aswell, Kintoki was willing tho he found it a bit embarrassing, but Rex never saw her as a mother so he didn't bother at first, only giving in to prevent her from crying.

But an interesting question was raised.

Rex: mi corazon, do you think your mother will expect something for mother's day?

Quetz: I don't see why she would! It wasn't really a thing back in our day and she's not likely to gain any of that info so I think I'm fine.

*knock knock*

Rex: quién es?

BB: it's the amazing BB!

Quetz: qué quieres?

BB: got a message for ya Quetzy!

Quetz opens the door, seeing the chaotic AI holding what looks to be cloth.

Rex: a message in cloth?

Quetz: lemme see

BB hands it to her, the cloth had many characters on it. It looked to be the characters used by the aztecs back in the day.

Quetz: ...aye...

BB: don't like what you read?

Quetz: as soon as I mention it!

Rex: ...is it from your mom?

Quetz: ...no, it's from Coyolxauhqui, but she says mamá is expecting mother's day gifts now!

BB: wow! Isn't that interesting?

Quetz: how'd she send this to you BB?

BB: not sure! Popped into one of my tentacles and I could tell it had to be for you, since no one else can read those characters!

Rex: hey I'm trying!

Quetz: *sigh* what in Xibalba do I even get her?!

Rex: ...some food? Maize?

Quetz: she has plenty of that!

BB: my you two have seem to have found yourselves in a pickle! At least you're trying tho! None of my dear children even consider getting me anything!

Rex: gee! I wonder why!?

BB gave him a stink eye before continuing.

BB: anyways! I'd love to stay, but I've got chaos to sew! Seeya!

And with that the AI leaves

Quetz: aye... what could I even get her?

Rex: hmmm... maybe some modern chocolate or something? I can only think of food at the moment...

Quetz: you need some food then.

The two left for the cafeteria to eat and brainstorm.

Rex: what does your mom like?

Quetz: ...sacrifices...

Rex: mmmm! Anything else?

Quetz: she's a very violent woman mi amor... most things she'd like aren't much of an option.

Rex: well fuck!

As the two go on, Ehecatl comes running in, accidentally bumping into Rex.

Rex: woah there!

Quetz: ehe? Are you ok?

Ehe, nervously: m-m-m-m-ma-ma-ma

Rex: ehe! Speak clearly!

Ehe, clears her throat: Coatlicue is here!!

Quetz and Rex: Que!?

Then a rumbling is felt, turning the corner of the hall came a large being.

The being was tall, and vaguely humaneque in appearance. Instead of a human head, there were two huge snakes, a skirt made of snakes adorned her lower body, her hands and feet had huge claws to rip apart flesh, the only thing covering her chest was a large necklace with human hearts and hands going along it, with a human skull at the center.

Coatlicue: H̸̡̧̡̺̩̗̬͉͈̖͔̲̠̣̼̠̗̪͎͛̀͌̋͊̊͛̈̓̈́̏͝o̸̧̨̨̢̧̥̣̥͕̩̺̦̲̼̜̳̮͇̫͑̀̃̃̾̑̄̅͌̍̏̈̊̒̐́͘̚ͅl̴̺̬̗̻̫͖̜̪̲͓̲͕̒̃̓̈̈͗́̂̽̆͜͜͜͝ą̷̛̫͍͔̹͕͙̤̺̣̜̎͂̇̓͋͆͗͌̀́̒̃́͑̕̕͠ ̴̯̩̩̥̪͚͎̤͆̀̈́̎̽̐͛͆̀͑͗͊̄͗͐͘̕̕͠ͅm̷̧̡̛͉̼̫̳̜̮̰̱̬̯̿͋͋̉͊͑̌͑̑͂͜i̸̩̒̇͆̎͗̍̀̀̇͂̋͂͘͝j̵̛͎͕̱̣͍͉̯̤̙̪̹̪̫̤̞̜̀̽̽̽̎͂̎͂̏̕͜ͅą̷͙̖̦̫̯͈̖̙̱̟̩͍̯̪̳͔̦͈͈̼̄͑̓͒

While Ehecatl clung onto Rex in fear, both Rex and Quetz were just annoyed. They were already used to seeing nightmarish beings ever since coming here, so this wasn't new.

Quetz: mamá, can you not with that look?

Coatlicue: ...? *sigh*

Then the large being transformed into a much more normal human appearance. An older looking woman, with a much more normal looking outfit, tho you could see a resemblance to what she looked like before. Snake motif on her skirt, and much simpler necklace with a small decorative skull, and what looked to be stitches on her neck.

Quetz: mamá, what are you doing here?

Coatlicue: what, I can't visit my daughter and her husband every once in a while?

Quetz: not without warning.

Coatlicue: well, ever since I heard about this mother's day thing I wanted to feel appreciated! And I thought it'd be nice to spend the day with you since I don't see you often anymore.

Quetz: mamá that's nice but you need to tell us ahead of time, you scared dear Ehe here.

Coatlicue: she shouldn't be scared! She's seen me plenty of times!

Quetz: no she hasn't. She mostly stayed in my place in the heavens, and rarely left.

Rex: so... is she just gonna stay for the day?

Quetz: looks like it.

Coatlicue: it's nice to see you again Rex!

Rex: good to see you too Mrs. Coatlicue...

Coatlicue, to Quetz: has he been treating you well?

Quetz: of course! I've never been happier then with him!

Coatlicue: that's so good to hear! It's good that even if it took so long you managed to be happy with marriage!

After some time the group was in the cafeteria.

Coatlicue: wow, is it always so lively?

Quetz: not really. Things got more hectic with mother's day.

Coatlicue: are there many other mothers here?

Quetz: si! Tho most are without the children they had.

Coatlicue: how unfortunate! Can your husband not summon them?

Rex: it's not that simple...

Quetz: there's very little control in it all...

Coatlicue: he seemed to be able to summon you with plenty of ease.

Quetz: I'm the exception mamá.

Coatlicue: well that's unfortunate. Speaking of mothers, do you plan on becoming one any time soon Mija?

The question caused Ehecatl spit out her dirnk.

Ehe: *cough cough* isn't it a bit soon to talk about that!?

Quetz: actually we were thinking it over.

Ehe: Que!?

Rex: you need to relax.

Quetz: Ehe, you shouldn't be so surprised. I've talked to you about the idea in the past.

Ehe: it's still so soon! Have you even been married a year yet?!

Rex: no... but we don't plan to actually do anything just yet. Just talking.

Coatlicue: I'd love to see what precious children you two make!

Quetz: ehehehe, let's table this topic for now.

Ehe: yes! Please!

Coatlicue: so what have you been up to since we last saw each other?

Quetz: well... some interesting things have happened since...

Rex: she got to be Santa for Christmas.

Coatlicue: really?! Didn't the people of Mexico try that back in the 30's?

Quetz: si... didn't work out...

Coatlicue: but did it work out better this time?

Quetz: better is... debatable...

Rex: I think you were great mi corazon! If I could I'd have you be Santa every year!

Quetz, blushing: ehehehe, mi amor...

Ehe: the outfit leaves much to be desired tho...

Coatlicue: what's wrong with it?

Quetz: well... I misheard the whole Santa thing and thought they said Samba so...

Coatlicue: seriously!? Mija how do you make that kind of mistake?

Quetz: she wasn't clear! And besides they're basically the same since both bring happiness to others!

Rex: yeah! Mistake or no, she was the best Santa!

Quetz then proceeded to hug Rex, happy with all the support he showed.

Quetz: gracias mi amor!

Rex: anything for you!

Coatlicue: aside from that... anything else of note?

Quetz: ...well I also got to be a superhero.

Coatlicue: ...que?

Rex: well... a superhero is basically someone with extraordinary powers and uses them to protect others!

Coatlicue: hmmm... then weren't you already one mija?

Quetz: well superheros also usually have a bombastic costume to go along with it!

Ehe: wasn't it also your swimsuit?

Quetz: kinda, I had a normal red one but at the same time I also had the costume on me!

Coatlicue: you've been dressing up interesting outfits lately huh?

Quetz: si... things get very interesting in Chaldea.

Rex: whenever we're not dealing with a lostbelt it's usually something far more ludicrous then normal.

Coatlicue: no wonder some of these servants look so ridiculous... I just thought that's how it was outside of Central America.

Rex: ...sometimes that's still the case.

Quetz: it does take some getting used to... but I've been here so long nothing phases me anymore.

Ehe: how anyone can get used to this is beyond me.

Rex: it's all about how long you've spent here...

After some time Coatlicue got to look into Rex and Quetz's room, despite protests from Quetz.

Coatlicue: good size... nice and clean... but a little bare...

Coatlicue: I didn't expect you to be so relaxed in your room mija.

Rex: we don't do a whole lot here... just cuddle and lay in bed together.

Coatlicue: that's good at least, I'm happy your husband's been able to accommodate for you here.

Quetz: well I have other rooms for fun and such. A gym, a rec room, and so on.

Rex: Quetz is my sun and I'd do anything for her happiness!

Quetz: ehehehehe! Mi amor, you're making me blush!

The two embraced again as they talked.

After more time spent with Coatlicue, it was eventually time for her to go.

Coatlicue: I had a really good time mija! I'm so proud of the relationship you've found yourself in!

Quetz: gracias mamá!

And then she went back to the heavens, leaving the couple once again.

Rex: she's surprisingly nice all things considered...

Quetz: it's because you're such a good husband to me mi amor!

Rex: thanks...

The two finished up with a nice kiss, before going back to their room.

A/N: since it's mother's day, it felt appropriate to make a story featuring Quetz's mom! Sorry if the ending felt rushed, kinda lost ideas towards the end.

Tags

@hasishtardoneanythingwrong @hasereshdoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @renmeo @kazmetic @grievouslyxorvia @has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong @havetheavengersdoneanythingwrong

[furry-emblem]

You know what, after talking about how biases and stuff mess with 3H discourse, I'm going to go over my biases and personal experiences with each major faction leader because I feel like it. I don’t really want people arguing with me on these, but I would like to hear other people describing their experiences with these characters because that’s always interesting to read about. I'm listing the characters in order of how much I liked them.

Byleth

Also known as erotica, keyboard smash, Sothis, another keyboard smash, BoobBoob, and Boobama. I really dislike them. I’ve never been particularly fond of silent or self-insert protagonists. At best, they signal to me that the game isn’t going to bother with its story or character writing (and that’s fine when that’s the case), while at worst, it’s the writers taking the most important character in the story and then throwing their hands up and saying “we don’t need to write this one.” Byleth feels like the ladder and it’s to the detriment of pretty much everyone around them. Like, even considering that silent protagonists are supposed to be characters that the player projects onto, Byleth doesn’t do a good job at this because there’s enough canonical descriptions of them that you can’t really roleplay, but there’s so little going on that they don’t stand on their own two feet. So it’s like having a piece of cardboard dictate the fate of the country. They also primarily function as a wall for characters to exposition dump their backstories onto, which isn’t very interesting to watch. Like, 3H would have been better off without Byleth in it. 0/10.

Rhea

I just haven't had the chance to see a lot of her stuff, so I think I'm missing some of the stuff that makes people like her (and I'd prefer to not have that spoiled for me). Haven't seen her supports or the Church Route, but she just hasn't left me with a good impression. I don't like how possessive she gets of Byleth. Like, it creeps me out a little. I'm also a bit disappointed that you never get to play as her. I want the pope to bitch slap people (except not my people). I remember her being an antagonist in CF felt kind of forced to me when I first played because her reactions felt a bit silly. The problem wasn't whether they were justified or not, the problem was lack of context given and the fact that she was saying stuff like "You will BURN in the PITS OF HELL" while standing perfectly still and making this face >:(. And I just couldn't take that seriously for whatever reason because it felt cheesy and I didn't really understand what was going on. It also soured any endearment Rhea showed towards Byleth to me on future routes because her actions in CF gave me the impression of her being obsessive and controlling of Byleth. Like, she acted entitled to their loyalty, expected them to be something they never asked for, and flipped the fuck out when they rejected. It reminded me a lot of some abuse I've gone through and it made me dislike the character. Now that I have more context on the character, I get why she reacted so suddenly and violently because CF kinda threw all of her triggers at her. It feels like she dug her grave in that route, but she dug it in a way that resembles a Greek Tragedy more than anything else. My second route was Claude's route, which thoroughly disappointed me in terms of its writing. When Rhea was exposition dumping her backstory, I was like "I'm boooored," so that really didn't help my opinion of the character. I also don't really like how she gets damsels in three out of four routes. I still don't actively like the character very much because she left a really sour taste in my mouth, but I understand that I'm missing information and that there are reasons to like her. I'm open to learning more about her, but she just really rubs me the wrong way.

Yuri

I never finished Cindered Shadows and I have no real opinion on Yuri. I thought he was a girl when I first saw him and I think he's fun to play as in gameplay, so I guess there's that. I don't really see myself replaying Cindered Shadows if I even finish it because it lacks a lot of the major things I liked from 3H.

Seteth

Does he even get to count? Like, he's not in charge and Rhea should've probably been the leader of Silver Snow. Haven't played that route yet. I like Seteth. He's got good dad energy and also he's my wife (specifically in Verdent Wind). He's got good vibes. Also, if you kill Flayn in Crimson Flower, his English voice acting when he's like "Flayn Noooo" gets to me. I still really like Seteth. A solid 8/10 for me.

Dmitri

I wasn't following Three Houses advertising at all, so I didn't know anything about anyone going in. I was originally just going to skip him entirely because he looked boring and had shitty hair. So I did his route last. Partially out if curiosity for the character, partially because I might as well do every major route since I'd already done Claude and Edelgard, partially to get to know some of the Blue Lions, and partially because some of Edelgard's backstory is only revealed in this route and I was curious about that. Dmitri's route definitely has the best writing out of any of the routes. I really like how personal the route is and how much it focuses on how one specific event impacted all of the characters in it. There are some big problems I have with the route and Dmitri, like how the game uses psychosis to represent Dmitri being murdery and how him changing his mind felt more like Byleth's decision than his own due to their conversation being pretty bad. But overall, he has the best writing. I'd strongly recommend playing through his route if you haven't just because the writing's rather good there. The reason why he's ranked below Claude and Edelgard, however, is pretty simple: I just don't vibe with him. Like, the hero archetype bores the hell out of me, even when it is subverted like it is here. I also just didn't relate to the character on really any level while I did with Claude and Edelgard. The amount of Edelgard slander in his name also annoys me, but I don't think it really impacts how much I like Dmitri. He's a well written character that I just don't vibe with. I also remember his death in Verdant Wind and being like “wtf was that??” Like, the writers killed him offscreen.. twice. In the same route.

Claude 

I really enjoyed Claude as a character. He left a good first impression on me and I almost picked him for my first playthrough because he’s hot and sassy. Two good traits for any character. I ended up picking Edelgard, though, and he left a good impression on me during CF. I like that he held the alliance together and had a contingency plan for if he lost that battle. When I played his route, I ended up going Hard Mode NG+ Casual and I stuck everyone on a dragon. I did find it funny that throughout the school phase, Claude learns bow stuff repeatedly, then in one of the last months, he went up to me and was like “hey, can you start teaching me in axe and flying?” Which he had nothing in either. Then timeskip happens and he comes waltzing in on a dragon. Claude is where all the good memes in the fandom go. That said, I really disliked his route because Claude felt like an afterthought in it (because he literally was). I don’t like that I got out of the route and it felt like I didn’t know as much more about the character going out than I did going in. Some of that is because I didn’t see a ton of his supports, which is where pretty much all of the character work is. I like how Claude is open minded and actively tries to seek out the truth. So, overall, I found his route a bit disappoint but I still really like him because he’s a fun character.

Edelgard

I fucking love Edelgard. She was my first pick and therefore the character that introduced me to the game, and by extension, the series of Fire Emblem. I picked her because she’s pretty, she looked ready to fistfight god from the word go, and she seemed like the mascot of the game so I figured the writers might put a bit extra effort into her route (they didn’t, rip). My very first playthrough was actually a Normal/Classic run, but I had to abandon the run because literally everyone died four hours into the save (I swapped to Normal/Casual). Edelgard ended up carrying me through my first playthrough. I stuck her on a dragon and she killed literally everyone and everything. In my most recent playthrough of the game, I did CF and made her an archer mage dancer for the memes and that was also a ton of fun to play with. Her gameplay feel had a role in me liking her (like, Dmitri is also very powerful, but it was my third playthrough and I knew what I was doing better by then, so him being just as OP as Edelgard didn’t really influence my opinion on him as much as it did her). 

Besides the gameplay, Edelgard’s probably the major character that I relate to the most. Every character on this list (except maybe Byleth or Yuri, I know literally nothing about Yuri tho) has experience with trauma and is coping with it in some way. Edelgard copes by villainizing herself and shutting off her emotions, but despite that, she’s still a low-empathy person who’s still very compassionate person who cares about others and is trying to do the right thing. She also generally tries to express some amount of compassion to her enemies, even if it’s little more than saying “it sucks that Dmitri had to die.” She’s not as open-minded or as truth-seeking as Claude is, but she still tries to keep herself open to other viewpoints and will readily accept any she deems as valid at a moment’s notice. I just really like that about her because I share a lot of those traits in common with her. I also like the idea of her being someone who’s willing to do evil things to bring good to the world. That’s not something you normally get in a protagonist and I think that’s a cool idea. 

I still found her route to be very awkward, especially with no context. Like, I missed the line where Edelgard’s like “yeah, btw, I’m the Flame Emperor,” so I was just wondering what happened there. It’s an anticlimactic way to end the main plot of the first half of the game. I also didn’t really get Rhea’s angle at all. So the route just felt a lot like “I guess I’m doing this now??” In other routes, I found her deaths to be very hard hitting. The death in Verdant Wind only really got me because I really liked Edelgard and she was my original student and I could feel how much she wanted to make her future a reality and how her failing meant all of those sacrifices she made and the evils she’d done would now all be for nothing. I get that impression with Azure Moon’s ending too. 

Most of my appreciation for the character does come from her support conversations. I like how her chain with Bernie has her trying to learn how to not scare her off. Her interactions with Dorothea in their support chain are kind of sad because Dorothea is trying to show her admiration and love for Edelgard in a way that makes sense to her but then Edelgard’s low view of herself causes her to reject the offer. I really liked her Manuela support too (haven’t seen Hanneman’s but I’ve heard that it’s good). I like how with Manuela, Edelgard learns why people are religious and she that being religious doesn’t make you weak. I like her Linhart support where he calls her out for trying to dictate his life and she responds by trying to overhaul some of her own systems and assumptions about him, which leads to her giving him a role to the empire that also properly accommodates for his needs. I like how with Ferdinand’s supports, he has to learn to let go of their rivalry, but once that does happen, Edelgard takes into account his ideas and roles with them. I think it’s funny that she and Hubert flirt with each other by sending each other credible death threats. Edelgard just has a lot of very good supports. Don’t get me wrong, Claude and Dmitri also have supports that are good (I thought Claude’s support chain with Petra was cute and I really like Dmitri’s support chain with Flayn), but Edelgard’s supports go a long way to paint her as someone who is flawed but still really admirable.

Edelgard is definitely one of my favorite fictional characters, and I’d love to see more characters like her in the future.

[chalkrevelations]

OK, so, episode reax of WoH Ep 4 is briefly delayed – may be out Sunday, but more likely post M-W workweek. It is coming. Meanwhile, have some more Street Dance of China? S3, Ep 2.

First of all, I have to say that if I had any way of figuring out what some of this music is, I’d have a new Spotify playlist 300 songs long.

ANYWAY, we get a recap of … Wang Yibo being incredulous about coming in last place in a dance competition. Wang Yibo vowing to get back the three colorful towels he lost by coming in last place in a dance competition and therefore can’t use to send three more of his team’s dancers on to the next round. Hip-hop freestyle battles for TOWELS. Wang Yibo getting his colorful towels back. Ridiculous unnecessary drama over whether Lay Zhang is going to win his battle and get EVEN MORE colorful towels, given his competition is Wallace Chung (oh dear. that was kind of blunt.). And that’s what you missed on Glee Street Dance of China 3 Ep 1.

 Snapshots of what’s coming up this week: Everyone has shot their wad on towels and is sweating the fact that they have 59 more dancers they want to send through to the next round and a single towel left. (I TOLD YOU SO. ALL OF YOU.) The only way to get more towels is to battle for them. A hip-hop battle has NEVER BEEN SO IMPORTANT.

Cutting here, I guess, for ridiculously detailed nattering. Hashtag long post (remorseful):

Team Lay Zhang: First of all, Lay Zhang, I just have to note that you’re getting an edit that doesn’t make you look like the brightest bulb in the box. I don’t know if this is just the edit, or if it’s … well. You. I guess we’ll see as the season goes on. Also, in the interim, I have found out that you also are Zhang Yixing, which a lot of your fandom seems to actually call you, so should I call you Yixing instead of Lay? You seem to be going by Lay for this show, so it seems polite to stick to that? Anyway. Gongsun Wu Ming & Hei Zai start us off this episode, and they get off to a little bit of a slow start, but once they pick up, they’ve got a lot of nice air in their moves, that effortless(-looking) almost anti-gravity effect that good breakers can get. Then we almost immediately get a series of ok, that’s fine, oh, wait, no, THAT is actually pretty mediocre poppers, none of whom gets a towel, thank god, because the supply has to be running low. And then Teng Zai appears, claiming to be the best popper, and … OK. OK, alright. Fine. He might be right. His technique and control are fantastic, but you want to know what really sells me, in the middle of this generally fantastic performance? It’s that series of chest pops followed by the little heart held out right on the fk’n music. It’s little details like that, that make or break a performance, and he pulled it off beautifully. I went back to re-watch, it was so slick, yet so charming. OK, maybe I went back to watch more than once. You can’t prove anything. (Also, he gets called their little “Ares” - in quotes, in the subs – by other contestants, more than once, but I can’t pick out the actual sound of that name, which makes me think the subbers have inserted “Ares” as something that will give the flavor of what he’s actually being called. My 1st level Duolingo Mandarin is absolutely not enough to figure out what people are actually calling him, so is there anyone who’s able to give me some insight, here?) Aaaand, Towel Battle 1 (see Footnote 1). Post-battle, we’ve reached the point when all the captains are sweating their lack of towels, so e’rybody is just going to have to battle for towels from here on out. Yuan Ye faces Momo, and a little bit, this is where I expect the knife fight to start (Momo’s bringing the knife). I’m honestly not that impressed with either of them and probably would have saved my towel for someone else, but Lay Zhang decides to send them both through, so what’s the point of a battle to begin with? BUT THEN (dun-dun-dun) some dude calling himself Bon shows up to really cut a bitch, waves away both Yuan Ye and Momo to the sidelines, describes himself as “a boom” and proceeds to give a performance that imo is kind of mushy and all over the place. Lay Zhang looks a little taken aback as Bon sort of grinds up on him but can’t even really commit to that, just before Lin Zi Jie shows up. Lay Zhang makes Zi Jie change his coat - thank god, because you can’t see half of what he’s doing and he actually seems like the most towel-worthy performance out of this whole cluster of flail – and asks for a freestyle battle, which turns out to not be that great on Bon’s or Zi Jie’s parts, actually. I feel like the dance vocabulary here is kind of limited, and we’re left with a bunch of hip-shaking, grinding, and supposedly seductive looks, which is NOT going to cut it in the battles we’ve seen already. Towels to Momo and Zi Jie, rather than putting them in reserve and waiting to see who else shows up, which I think is probably a mistake, but OK, I’m not a pop idol with the clout to star on this show, so. (I know what I like to watch, tho’, and none of that was it.) A promise to Yuan Ye that she gets a Battle Towel. Time for Towel Battle 3 (See Footnote 3).

Team Wallace Chung: So, first off, there’s George, who dances before he’ll introduce himself, and I guess I have to respect a guy who’s going to let his performance be his introduction. And then we get a series of OK that’s fine but not really great poppers, and Wallace, unlike Lay, is handing out towels like candy. OK, my man. If that’s really what you want to do, I guess, but it doesn’t seem like the greatest idea to me. You’re also really fucking with the morale of the dancers who haven’t performed yet, who are gradually realizing that you’re going to run out of towels before you even get to them. Hilariously (for me, if not the contestants), I paused at this point to go refresh my bourbon and managed to freeze on a random contestant, identified as Wei Ming - who I don’t know if we’ll ever get to see actually perform, but he deserves the bolded name for this, alone – looking baffled and concerned, with the English subtitle on his comment reading “Sir, what are you thinking?” I suspect he is not using “Sir” in the sense that I use it when my cat (or Zhang Zhehan) has done something appallingly adorable, but rather when the cat has knocked yet another gd pen off my desk while I’m trying to take notes, just to be a bastard for attention. (OTOH, I guess if you weren’t one of the dancers bold enough to swarm up there in the first couple of hours, you take what you get. Fortuna fortes adiuvat.) We finally get to Lin Meng, whose reputation precedes him, but seriously, if Wallace is just handing out towels to every popper, what does it even mean? Wallace – Wallace – proceeds to basically call Lin Meng an old man before making him bargain for a towel, which is a shame, because Lin Meng deserves to get not only this towel but the four towels you just gave away to some guys who should still be holding Lin Meng’s jacket, Wallace. I mean, seriously, this guy’s technique is fantastic. Even if he does fumble his jacket lapel that one time. Aaaand, Towel Battle 1 (see Footnote 1). Post battle, we get A.K. Dong, who’s got some excellent musicality and a face that apparently resembles a variety show star (Hank Chen?). I mean, I guess it gets him noticed, but it sucks that it seems to overshadow his dancing, because he’s really good. Then we notice our towels are running low, and everybody is just going to have to battle it out. Wallace promises the Battle Towel to some dude who we don’t see perform and don’t get a name for, and with my prognisticatory skills, I’m going to say we won’t need to know his name, because this is the last we’ll see of him. Time for Towel Battle 3 (See Footnote 3).

Team Wang Yibo: First up, we get Bing, whose reputation precedes him, prompting other teams to look around and wonder what all the commotion is about. Bing has a motorbike moment with Yibo, before giving a performance that starts off the tiniest bit mushy before he puts some fantastic technique on display. Yibo pulls out his Perpetual Student schtick and asks for some freestyle with some motorbike elements, which at first makes me suspect you might be fucking with this guy just a little bit, Yibo, but Bing is both game and versatile, and he eventually gets his towel, along with a wish from Yibo to ride together sometime, and oh. (As we say, in A Very Significant Tone, on AO3.) All of that was flirting. OK. On the heels of Yibo giving me yet another clue as to his taste in men, we roll into a seriously uncomfortable segment that stomps all over my embarrassment squick because they’ve cut together several women to look desperate and starstruck and comical and dumb, while Yibo looks increasingly uncomfortable, and I am super not down with this, show. I’ll admit that from what we can see, none of them are great dancers, but I suspect there were a lot of not-great male dancers, too, and I just. Ick. This was unnecessary, you haven’t done it to any of the other captains, and it frankly doesn’t make Yibo look that great, when you set his reactions here against the fact that not only have we not seen approval from him for any female contestants so far, but this segment is the only interaction we’ve seen from him with any female contestants so far. Hard on the heels of this segment, we get Chick, who is very good when he wants to be but also super-extra and annoying, and who fucks around more than he really dances, but the audience seems charmed with him, and Yibo doesn’t give him any of the smackdown he deserves, which doesn’t improve my impression of the previous segment, given the varied ways Yibo iced out some of the women. Meanwhile, Jackson Wang strolls over, and Yibo acts super weird about it, for a guy who was the first one to wander into someone else’s territory, which was – oh, yeah, I remember, Jackson’s – to watch his dancers, and Jackson says that he would give Chick a towel before heading back to his own street, and then Yibo does, even though he fucks with him a little bit first, and then there’s a bit of footage cut in of Yibo making dumbass excuses for this guy, so. I’m not entirely feeling you right now, Yibo. Also, all of this is certainly doing nothing to disabuse me of the notion that you’re about 1000000x more comfortable in homosocial situations, for whatever reason. Anyway, we then get a montage of Yibo handing out some towels to various dancers (including a woman, finally, although she’s intercut with some other people and doesn’t actually get a full segment of her own), and then we get Tao and Cici, who are both good, but Yibo now discovers that he only has three towels and there are two people standing in front of him, so he gives a towel to Tao and promises one to Cici after the next towel battle, which, yeah, Tao is probably better, but this is a hell of time to decide to be circumspect with your towels, Yibo, when you can leave a woman sitting on the sidelines but send her husband through to the next round. :hands: Anyway, it’s time for Towel Battle 2 (See Footnote 2), and I do have to give Yibo props, again, for his teambuilding, because he takes a minute to say, hey, there aren’t a lot of towels left, and there are quite a few of you, so what we’re going to do is all go over there together, and get another towel, as a team. Post-battle, Yibo is still concerned about his lack of towels, and everyone left is going to have to battle it out, although, frankly, the way Yibo’s been going on about how much he likes battles, I sort of think he might secretly be a tiny bit excited about this. He ends up putting person after person into reserve, waiting to see everyone, probably, and then Meng Di shows up, and she’s already got the rest of the group behind her. They know her, they know she has cochlear implants, they respond immediately when she shushes them so she can hear Yibo and the music, they call for the DJ to turn up the music for her, they clap together to emphasize the beat. She’s smart enough to keep six feet between her and Yibo while she dances, so that she doesn’t spook him like the fragile and shy homosocial forest creature he apparently is. She immediately gets her cha cha on when her battle partner holds out his hand to lead her out for her turn. Good technique, even though there are a few bobbles. None of these four performances in the final battle are the best we’ve seen so far, but they’re solid. Yibo is clearly torn about what to do with his one towel, although the audience starts getting kind of insistent that he needs a waacker, and a female waacker at that, and he ends up making Bullet and Meng Di battle again. She’s performing for the audience at this point – I mean, she’s not even pretending about it, she spends most of this round facing them, with her back to Yibo - and she’s also versatile, genre-wise, so I think we can all see where this is going. I think he really wanted to give that towel to Bullet, who definitely is very good, but he knew that he’s painted himself into a corner where he ought to give it to Meng Di, so that he’s got some genre-versatility on the team, if nothing else. Towel to Meng Di, and a promise to Bullet to win another Battle Towel for him. Time for Towel Battle 3 (See Footnote 3).

Team Jackson Wang: First up is Bai, who apparently is a favorite from season one, but I haven’t seen season one – or season two - so I don’t have any history on any of these people. Bai is doing a bit, here, but he’s also generally got some good technique, so OK. Why are they blurring out his left wrist, though? Yang Yu Ting is really good, some more good technique, good musicality. And then we’re already on to Towel Battle 2 (See Footnote 2). Post-battle, we get Shen Kai Xiang, who apparently looks A LOT like Jack Ma, which seems to be little bit like if some Bill Gates-lookin’ mf’r showed up to audition for SYTYCD. Lyrical; good technique; much like Bai, appears to be doing a bit. And, then, as with all the captains, the dearth of towels sets in, and Jackson is going to put everyone in the gladiator ring and make them battle it out. Maybe we can win another Battle Towel. Time for Towel Battle 3 (See Footnote 3).

***

Footnote 1, AKA Towel Battle 1, Team Lay Zhang vs. Team Wallace Chung, 3v3: Team Lay Zhang is San Jin, who they throw up some B-roll on, since the show has spent no time on him so far although he seems to be in cahoots with Xiao Bao (see Ep 1 recap); Gongsun Wu Ming, who’s spoiling for a battle after no one would take him up on it during his initial performance; and Teng Zai, because I mean, come on. Team Wallace Chung is Lin Meng, which should be interesting, since he and Teng Zai are apparently from the same crew, George, and Qin Yu, who we not only haven’t seen before this, that I can remember, but don’t even get B-roll on while Wallace is talking strategy, unlike the other two. Qin Yu, this does not bode well for your future on the show, if they’re not even bothering to give you B-roll, let alone an edit. Both captains are very weird about introducing their dancers, like these guys are some big surprise and aren’t going to dance in front of everybody in a minute and half, anyway. Possibly this is some kind of attempt at a dominance display? I don’t know. It’s won by the host, anyway, who eventually enforces his will and gets some introductions out of the captains. Anyway, Gongsun is up first for Team Lay Zhang, and this dude is just fun to watch, with great musicality and flow, and Wallace’s face while watching him is a picture, let me tell you. He’s up on Qin Yu almost immediately, possibly sensing the weakest link of Team Wallace? Team Wallace counters with George, who’s not having any of that, and gets the first point for his team. Second round, Teng Zai is once again impeccable, so even though someone has lit a fire under George, who spends half his time upside down, he nevertheless loses the point to Teng Zai. Round three, Teng Zai and Lin Meng face off, and they’ve both got great technique, although I feel like Lin Meng has a slight edge there, but I also think Teng Zai did a better job of showcasing strength and control, so I’m not surprised when the judges go for another round, in which Teng Zai is still super-fun to watch and definitely on his game, but Lin Meng steps up with some incredible precision, so I’m a little surprised when the judges give it (unanimously) to Teng Zai and Team Lay Zhang. One more round, and Teng Zai … is maybe wearing down a little bit, coasting on this one, and oh, hey, we’re finally going to get to see Qin Yu, who has some nice fluidity but maybe doesn’t really match up to Teng Zai in the charisma department, which may be why we haven’t seen him before this, and also why he loses the round. Round, battle, and two towels to Team Lay Zhang, and we still haven’t seen more than 15 seconds of B-roll of San Jin. But wait! There’s still a moment to be had, in which Teng Zai suggests donating one of their towels to Team Wallace, namechecks love and peace as a vital part of street dance, and quite possibly cements his place in my – and everyone else’s - heart. Both sides go home with a towel.

Footnote 2, AKA Towel Battle 2, Team Wang Yibo vs. Team Jackson Wang, 3v3 captain-led battle: Oh, they get to choose a song for each other. This should be interesting. I feel like there’s some shit-talking going on here, although I’m not really equipped to catch it and am at the mercy of the subtitles. Does Jackson really ask Yibo, “You WERE a dancer when you were young?” because lol. And Yibo is all, “Eh, kind of?” I do love how neither of them can hold still for songs two and three. So, Team Yibo is also Bing and Tao, while Team Jackson is also Bai and Ting. The thing that strikes me immediately during the minute or so that they get to plan and quickly choreograph is that Team Yibo has everyone there – there’s no point during this planning stage that the entire crew isn’t involved. They’re all part of this. Meanwhile, Team Jackson is just the three of them, separate from everybody, working out their choreography. The whole-team approach IMMEDIATELY pays off, when Team Yibo slams out of the gate with an energy and power and fullness to their performance that Yibo will later comment is fueled by the atmosphere that the dancers at the back create, and he’s right, it’s just like a wave of pressure pushing them forward, not even getting into the fact that the three people actually in the battle are fucking good. Team Jackson is also good, but they don’t feel like a team, the crew in the back doesn’t seem to have it together, and the loss of that – it has an impact. No surprise that Round 1 goes to Team Yibo and their Attitude, which is like an entire fourth dancer on its own. Round two coming up, and the entire Team Yibo is still involved in the planning stages, Yibo’s flannel has come off and we’re down to T-shirt sleeves, and Tao is surprising me not only with his moves – I honestly didn’t expect him to come as hard as he does, given he and Cici were more lyrical in their initial performance – but in his killer instinct, because he’s the one who suggests getting up in Jackson’s face, lit. and fig., by yoinking one of his signature moves. Meanwhile, Yibo is playing gay chicken, and it is just as great an idea as it sounds like (and this is that performance that a clip of it was making the rounds a few months ago); meanwhile Jackson is going high (?) concept, and that is just as bad an idea as it sounds like, although he does attempt some charming self-deprecation when it’s all over (also, omg, one of the contestant reactions later is that he’s “short of brain trust.” I’m not actually sure what the most eloquent way to translate that comment would have been, but it certainly gets an idea across.) Chick actually earns his pay in one of the best moments of the battle that – as much as I hate to encourage it – actually does profit off his general air of douchery, Team Jackson continues to lack the kind of cohesive team feel that Team Yibo is bringing – and second round, battle, and towel to Team Yibo. THIS is the advantage of team-building from the very first minute. Also, fuck, Yibo and the dancers he’s collected are good. Technically, yes, but also, the auditions are getting kind of interminable, but after this battle, I’m excited again, and that kind of audience reaction is a good measure of whether your dancing is successful. (Towel goes to Cici, btw, which, yeah, Tao did fucking earn that for her, so I’m glad you came through on your promise to her, Yibo.)

Footnote 3, AKA Towel Battle 3, all four captains. Cypher. Four rounds. Everyone else’s face when the cypher is announced:  D:   Yibo’s face when the cypher is announced:  >:D  They each get to choose a style of music. Wallace chooses locking. Yibo and Jackson both choose hip-hop. Lay Zhang chooses krump. Yibo’s already moving before the music even starts, to whatever music lives inside his head. The music actually starts, and Yibo is in the center before anyone else gets the chance (probably before anyone else can get up their nerve …) My sound drops out right here, which, wtf, but I can still tell Yibo’s throwing down the gauntlet. He’s beatable, but not by anybody who’s going to coast. Also, goddam, he has legs for days. Lay Zhang is in next, with some good speed and power and crispness to his moves, although I’m having trouble taking that cap with the fake dreads seriously. It’s … actually super interfering with me getting on board with your vibe, my dude. Jackson’s up next, and he has somehow managed to bring my sound back, and he also lands, frankly, the best forward Salto we’ve seen from anyone so far this season, which I have to admit even though he is my inexplicable mortal enemy. Yibo and Wallace, ffs, ice him out in the follow-up, although he then does the same thing to Lay, so who tf knows what’s going on with the actual interpersonals between these guys and what’s for show, at this point. Wallace finally gets his turn and is super-game but horribly out-classed. Yibo gives him props anyway, which, good on you for respecting your elders and their efforts, I guess, baby, but let’s all admit that was an “E” for effort. Judges are frantically scribbling their points down as round 2/4 begins, and Yibo is the first one in the middle, again, and wtf gdi my sound really picks this point to drop out again? I feel like Youku may be fucking with me, at this point. ANYWAY, Yibo is finally, actually all in, and he’s got a fantastic Harlem shake, it’s like his joints are barely connected. I honestly could watch this boy dance all day, that’s how smooth he looks. Here’s the thing about Yibo, and it’s something the other captains haven’t yet achieved, or have only accomplished in slivers of time – he makes me want to dance, too. I watch him, and I want to be doing what he’s doing. You could say that he literally, not just figuratively or emotionally, moves me. And his ability to stoke that is something I really appreciate. Jackson Wang is up next and is pretty good, but I’m honestly more impressed with Lay Zhang, who manages to look almost like he’s being special-effected, that’s how staccato he gets at his best in this round. Wallace dances. The other captains are polite about it. More scribbling from the judges. Jackson’s the first one out there in round three, and he’s honestly looking the least tired of all of them. Stamina is maybe an issue, here. Even with Jackson, some of the finer control is gone. Y’all are maybe a little soft? How long has it been since any of you idols had to endure the workout of an entire concert? There’s a whole ‘nother round to go after this, so you better get your oxygen masks. Lay Zhang is still fairly crisp and pulls off a literal hat trick, although he’s doing a lot more upper body work that lets him stand in place than he is actually moving around. Jackson, with his baby boy enthusiasm and energy, is magnanimous enough to fill up some of Wallace’s time by “pulling” him into the center and then getting out there and dancing with him. I am old enough that I understand what Wallace is going through, but there’s just a noticeable difference in ability, here. Yibo is clearly waiting until last this time, to those of us paying scrupulous attention, although it’s nothing too obvious, and it does buy him enough time that he’s basically recovered by the time he gets back into the middle of the circle, although he’s a little less expansive than he’s been in the previous two rounds. So, strategic, then, too. Judges scribble as we move into the last round. No time for weakness, all of you. DID YOU HEAR ME, because most of you are looking, to be frank, just a little bit WEAK as you circle around and hang out on the edges and try to get your breath and energy back. I’m just sayin’. Lay takes the hit first, and he’s really trying, although he’s not as strong as he was back in the second round. I’m a little bit afraid he might fall over by the end of it. Yibo is sweating but pulls some random dude’s hat right off his head before … at least going all in, even if he doesn’t quite know what he’s doing, krump-wise. He ends by falling on the ground, in a credible WWX-passing-the-fuck-out imitation, which is probably a relief, by that point. Jackson probably has the most energy left, although he’s reduced to pulling off his shirt and posing by the end of his time. Wallace does some dancing. Look. I’m just going to leave it at that. Jackson is still being polite enough to encourage his elder. It’s maybe a little bit endearing. Final result is that Lay Zhang wins, which. OK. I would have placed him second, after Yibo, but I also seem to remember that he won the initial captains’ performance, back in Ep 1, so I guess I can’t be too surprised at this, based on trends. Show director was apparently so impressed, he’s gonna give up four extra towels, one to each captain, which means Lay gets two towels. So I guess towels go to Yuan Ye on Team Lay Zhang and Bullet on team Wang Yibo, if they keep their promises, although don’t know who Wallace and Jackson are planning on giving their extra towels to.

Next ep: Mystery Guest.

[number5theboy]

The notes I took while reading the comics are under the cut. These are not my ordered thoughts, just thoughts I had while reading. I’ll write something more coherent a bit later, once my thoughts are sorted better than these

APOCALYPSE SUITE

Diego repeatedly stabbed a Caravaggio, which just personally offends me. Also @ Reginald the fact that you left a Caravaggio in reach of your KIDS, who have KNIVES, is just as insulting. Someone save that Caravaggio since anything and anyone else is beyond saving

“Inexplicable resemblance to an Ingmar Bergmann extra” askjdsgbkdsbhsd Gerard sir that is so oddly specific. Is Reginald an Ingmar Bergman fan. Is that what you’re trying to tell us. Or is Klaus just a silent movie type

Right off the bat, the comics universe is so much more interesting than the show universe. They have boxers who beat up squids like??? Give us an adaptation with the comic world, preferably animated

The kiddos were all born to “mostly single women” dsbksdgbksdgbdsg??? Did the magical alien thingamajig check their relationship status first?

“Inventor of The Televator, The Levitator, The Mobile Umbrella Communicator, and Clever Crisp Cereal” dgdsghsgdhjsdkjhg Reginald names his inventions like Dr. Doofenschmirtz from Phineas and Ferb

Also the page that reveals/introduces Reginald is SO good, just the panelling and the action tells you so much. There’s dead bodies and excavations and masks in addition to text. It’s great.

“The Day The Eiffel Tower Went Berserk” is an EXCELLENT hook to a story

“It’s your Eiffel Tower, it’s gone insane and must be stopped at all costs.” Dksgdhjbkgsdhjbdsghjb the show could never

This comic keeps disrespecting cool art. Why is it doing that to me. Don’t let the musée d’orsay get robbed

Okay, luther came through for me on that

Dsdhlsdghlgsdhldsh the siblings arguing while the Eiffel Tower is falling apart around them had me cackling

“WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE” dsbdgsbgsdbdgsbklsd okay diego

“And just as I suspected – ZOMBIE-ROBOT GUSTAVE EIFFEL!” hello I need at least three comics of back lore on this. Why does luther have that hunch. Why is Gustave Eiffel a zombie-robot. How did we get here. Please I want answers

The missing line on the ‘e’ of ‘touché’ makes that dramatic moment way less dramatic and more funny ngl

Oh but you can be bothered to put the accent aigu on ‘séquence’

“And while you lost the Eiffel Tower, you saved Paris.” I am laughing too hard by this point. How dare this be a barely brushed upon adventure. Please I need to know more about zombie-robot Gustave Eiffel

Te Ben-robot makes me emotional and “Only my father calls me Number One”? ouch.

Also for the record, I love Luther’s design SO much

“Hello your father is dead. Please audition for my orchestra for revenge. Many thank. Bye.” Okay Conductor, whatever floats your boat, I guess

“and something worse is coming” dbhsdghbjgshbjsgbjhkgf okay Five, whatever floats your boat I guess

Allison immediately coming in with the ‘I know everyone blames you for Ben’s death, Luther, but honestly, who the fuck knows?’ dsbgbhdgshbsgdhkbj

Klaus has such an entrance and I honestly didn’t know that Claire was a comic character

The introduction to the apocalypse comes SO the fuck out of nowhere, but grumpy little Five with the ‘I knew I shouldn’t have run away from home’ speech bubble? Awesome

Also just genuinely interesting that Five truly hated Reginald and was aware of these feelings

The apocalypse introductions in the show and the comic are going for different feelings but they are both equally devastating, which is a nice touch

Also someone give show! Five a sword

Comic Diego is a fuckboy, and that’s obvious from a hundred paces

Apparently Grace makes me sad in any incarnation

Okay but the backdoor of the Icarus in the show is lifted straight out of the comics

I love the Conductor’s design so much, and his introduction is so good

Oh my god someone get a language checker, The Orchestra Verdammten doesn’t even make grammatical sense

I love the Conductor, he is so extra and just the concept of a piece of music that destroys the world…….it fucks so hard

This comic just throws wild shit at you and expects you to keep up

Just read the instructions Dr. Terminal gave his bots. Is he okay.

Why does Dr. Terminal want to eat Finland. Please I need to know what’s going on in that head of his

Gabriel Ba has excellent comedic timing

Five is a bitch and I love him

Diego hiding in a haunted house…….what a drama queen

Klaus is so fucking funny oh my god

Diego is so hilariously bitter towards Vanya. No need to destroy her like that, asshole

Love how Diego single-handedly brought about the apocalypse. What an idiot.

Dr. Pogo deserves the world

The Vanya reveal of powers is a bit. Uh. Underwhelming. Love the Frankenstein set-up tho

The art, man……..it’s so good

Comic Luther is SO savage holy shit

I love you Mister Conductor, but please stop butchering languages I know, thanks

I knew he was gonna die, but I am still hurt. Please bring him back, he’s the best character in this

“I don’t know where to begin…But I suppose I should start with the Kennedy assassination.” Okay five you drama queen

Allison is a bitch, and I mean that as a compliment

Honestly these Five and Vanya are made to be enemies, it’s great

HELL YEAH YOU GO KLAUS

This wraps up a little too nicely. Where did the moon boulder go

DALLAS

Sagfdghjasfkjghdsfjhksfhkj it opens with a ‘by the way, I’m still dead’ from Pogo

I can’t believe TUA directly inspired Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian

No seriously, I knew about sentient monument Abraham Lincoln but this entire scene FUCKS

Dsbksgdbhsgbhksgdhbkj Celebrity Surgery, the big popular reality TV show, I’m laughing

Luther and Klaus are both such messes jeesus, even if Klaus is coping better

Allison immediately kidnaps Vanya and exposes her to all the horrible shit she caused?? Dbgbhjdgkjhbgdhkj I love these versions of the characters

While Show!Diego is Walmart Batman, Comic!Diego is Walmart Rorschach

I thought I got the gazelle speech but now I’m just confused

It literally is an epiphany AND WHAT GOT HAZEL AND CHA-CHA SENT ON HIS ASS I’M

CACKLING

Also that one wordless Hazel and Cha-Cha panel……..so good

Five is a communist lmao Diego

Luther and Diego arguments are tedious in both versions

I hate the Marilyn Monroe ape scene. With a passion. It is so cursed

Also show Hazel and Cha-Cha were partners that grew apart. I think comics Hazel and Cha-Cha are in love

I am every killer ever. That is one cute puppy.

Also Klaus and God is great in every universe

Dsjfghjdhjdgjhbdgbjhkdbkjhgb Five’s face when he is outfoxed

Why do dream!Luther and Allison have am ape cyclops daughter

I love the Luther&Klaus dynamic

This is just a remix of Watchmen

I have no idea why they suddenly know what Five is up to, from the corpse of a Commission agent. What.

Wait now they can use corpses as time travel devices. What.

Okay, Klaus accidentally blew up the world. Cool?

I am so confused

Now Diego Klaus and Luther are fighting vampires in Vietnam and hurling mummies through the bush. Okay.

So Pogo always knew what kind of disasters they’d turn into? Dskbgdsbkhsdgbkgsdkh

THE WHOLE JFK ASSASSINATION ARC IS AMAZING

HOTEL OBLIVION

Hotel Oblivion really just presents a cockroach on a plate to you, huh

Reginald’s aesthetic is seriously so much cooler than he deserves

EVIL IS THE NAME OF THE FIRST PART OF HOTEL OBLIVION?!? I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE MR. AIDAN GALLAGHER

Five is a hired gun now?!? Man, that dude cannot catch a break ever

“TV is a healthy alternative to dying” esjkdsgbkgskbhdsgkbes

Who is Luther’s Japanese bro?!?

Also I just kind of really like the Luther&Diego dynamic in the comics

The show robbed us of Allison helping Vanya recover. It robbed us of Vanya getting injured in the first place, so what recovery, but still. This is incredibly sweet

God, all the villains in this universe are so intriguing. Except for Knock-Off-Adrian-Veidt, I keep forgetting that Perseus exists

“I’m a haunted house.” Is so metal as a self-descriptor

What the FLYING FUCK is Klaus doing there

Giant chicken?

The Enterprise???

“What are you doing?” “A report. I’m really interested in capitalism.” Djhsgjgskjvsevksevjesvjsefjv maybe Diego is right and Five is indeed a communist

“I know what it feels like to be unloved. I was born an object, and never treated as anything but.” It really was that bad, wasn’t it?” “For the both of us, yes.” B R U H

Evil Grace is fun

I love Allison and Five and their relationship so much

Five is interested in the stock market??

I am way too emotionally invested in whether Murder Magician and his baby make it out of there

Oh I CANNOT believe their romantic loves for their SISTERS is what unites them. I hate this.

What on earth is going on with Perseus and the flying head of Medusa

Alive Ben 😊☹

I am an idiot for not making the Perseus-Medusa connection sooner.

The Eiffel Tower now looks like the love child of the actual Eiffel Tower and the Atomium.

And now the Dr. Manhattan knock-off is here

God I love Allison so much

What the fuck is Pereus on about

Terminal eats a zoo

Scientific Man borders on plagiarism I’m sdhbgshsvjhksfvjksdjhkdsj

No no no no no not the Murder Magician

This whole baby arc makes me so soft

HELL YEAH LUTHER

Well this ended on a cliffhanger

[bitchiha]

HC of Kiba, Shino, Choji, Neji and Lee playing animal crossing. Do they do it hidden from others or not? Their islands, favorite activities, group interactions (especially) and other things you like.

A/N: Yes!! Thank you for requesting this!! I love writing little fun things like this. I haven’t gotten a chance to play animal crossing on the switch because I was saving up for it w/ my job and everything, but now that Corona has shut down my province I can’t actually buy the switch or Animal Crossing 🥺 I watch gameplays for like hours on end tho and my friends never shut up about it so I know enough to make these HC’s I Hope lmfao and I’ve played it on my DS and phone for timee so I’m educated dw

✎ Animal Crossing x Naruto Characters!

Kiba Inuzuka

He was so pumped for animal crossing to come out. Probably used man the beast clone justu in the game store to make sure that he got his hands on a copy.

He won’t hide that he plays Animal Crossing, he’ll be such a confident douche about it. Once he’s got a fly outfit and he’s starting to get gains he will flex his island to anyone, especially Shino.

He would pick an island in the northern hemisphere and he wouldn’t even strategize tbh like he’s just excited

He would name it like “Dog Land” or “Akamaruville” or some shit like that

He’s the type to read all the things the characters say out loud. Will also 10/10 respond to them.

He’s so excited at little things “look akamaru! It’s a stick!” “Oh shit! Wow! It’s a fishy!”

Or when the seasons change he is so hyped

Hates Tom Nook (greedy capitalist) and also hates Eugene

Starts calling people by nicknames from animal crossing. “Sure, Bunyip!” “Sure thing daddio!” And only the other ninja who play Animal Crossing will get it

Everyone else will be like: (;-;) shut the fuck up dog boy did you just call me “daddio?”

His title on his animal crossing passport is “photogenic animal” I felt the need to include this information

Sometimes I don’t even know what the fuck Kiba does on animal crossing like he just messes around all the time

I think he’ll like fishing a lot tho

Despises the snooty or cranky villagers like he wants to pop one at them through the screen

Having interactions w friends on Animal Crossing can either be fun and friendly or super passive aggressive

Him and Shinos interactions are so ducking passive aggressive like Shino is hitting Kiba with his bug net and Kibas like ?? And Shino will just be like “there was a bug on you” like bruh

Him and Chojis interactions are friendly at first until he realizes how much better Choji is doing than him and he gets so aggressive so Chojis like: aight imma head out

Refuses to let Rock Lee get into his island and it makes Lee so ducking mad bc he wants to flex on him, but Kibas ego will be so damaged so he refuses

Anyway, his house is literally what a 12 year old boys house would look like. Like there’s clutter everywhere the only clear path is the one to his bed

Also whenever he uses the vaulting pole thing he pisses himself like he thinks it’s so fucking funny

I’m sorry but Kibas character will look like a rat like it will look so ugly

I feel like he has like one braincell when he plays this game

Shino Aburame

He’s so secretive about it at first, like this is Shino Aburame, he’s supposed to be this cool mysterious guy

So he will not let anyone know about it, until kiba accidentally finds out

Like they’re on a mission and they’re in their tent sleeping. Once Shino thinks everyone’s asleep he whips out the Switch and starts playing. Then Kiba rolls over to face him and is like “I KNEW IT”

Then Kiba tells everyone else

They’re Animal Crossing rivals now

He’s got a Southern Hemisphere island and he strategically picks his island in a way that he’ll (in real life terms) be able to have access to bugs... but it’s a game, no point in explaining it to him tbh

Like he only strategizes on the game for bugs. Probably talks to himself whenever bugs are involved in it

He doesn’t read the captions out loud, he’ll read them in his head like normal person

Names his Island after a bug species or “Bug Landia”, “Bikochu Island” <- as tribute to those filler episodes lmfao

Starts talking like K.K. (The dog w the stupid ducking guitar) and tbh it fits his personality pretty well, minus some of the hippie energy, but still.. sometimes Hinata and Kiba look at eachother like: is he good?

Will talk like K.K. When fighting enemies and sometimes they’ll stop and be like “did you just quote fucking K.K?” Sometimes it pisses enemies off even more

Also hates Tom Nook, Kiba and him will put their rivalry aside sometimes just so they could gang up on him

Like they’ll just yell insults at him through the screen and think they rlly did something amazing

His fav activity is obviously bug catching!! He gets so hyped when he catches a bug.

If he’s playing the game outside and you can’t rlly see his face bc of his outfit, it will look like he’s spazzing, but in reality he’s bursting with joy bc he caught an uncommon bug

Likes the cranky villagers.. idk why he just gets a kick out of them

His little house thing is bug and tropical themed, he lowkey should be an interior designer

Shinos character will resemble a bug. Don’t know how, but it will.

Choji Akamichi

Loves animal crossing almost as much as he loves food, it’s a close second

He will talk about Animal crossing with anyone, like he thinks everyone is dying to know about his island

One day Sai made eye contact with him for like 2 seconds Chojis dragging him over to his Switch like “oh hey Sai! I seen you looking at me and I figured you must be wondering what I was doing. So I’ll save you the time and just show you instead.” Sais just there like: wtf?

He’s neutral on the capitalist pig that is Tom Nook, Infact, he thinks he’s kind of nice. Poor Choji, so naive.

His island is in the Northern Hemisphere and he doesn’t really strategize it too much bc he doesn’t take the game as seriously as the rest of them like they’re really out here with survival tactics? My G..

Like he doesn’t take it as seriously as Neji and Lee, but he still is doing better than all of them in the game

Anyways, he’ll name the island after his favourite chip brand / chip flavour

Lives for interacting with the other islanders!! Loves Lily and Pashmina bc they’re so nice.

The sisterly and peppy villagers are his favourite

Favourite thing to do is collect fruits and get cool foods. Aside from that, I would go with bug catching as a close second.

Hosts everyone who plays animal crossing for the coolest funking hangouts poor Neji has to sit there and pretend he doesn’t play

Like he is so creative about it to and he’ll think up games like playing musical chairs or hide and seek that they can all play together

Probably results in Lee and Kiba getting into a fist fight irl and accusing eachother of cheating

His house has butterfly themed stuff in there as well as cool food things

Tenten is the only one who doesn’t get pissed tf off when she sees how fly his island is, like she’s jealous, but she isn’t like Kiba and Lee

Chojis character will look so adorable like idc his is the cutest one out of everyone’s

Neji Hyuuga

He first sees TenTen and Lee playing it and he acts like he doesn’t like it, but there are fireworks going off inside his head, like the game looks so fire

So he buys it secretly and he is obsessed, he will deny he plays it if anyone asks though

He wants his islands name to be something thought out, like it takes him 5 days just to name his island.. Only for him to settle on some shit like “Leaf Island” he wanted to name it Byakugan Land but his pride wouldn’t let him

Definitely respects Tom Nook. Like Rock Lee and him both treat the game like a survival tactic so he respects Tom Nook as a superior, even if he has some greed problems. He’s still a superior and he must be adressed with respect >:0

Will get worked up when he overhears Shino and Kiba trash talking Nook and it takes every bone in his body not to knock them out, but he doesn’t want them to know he plays so he refrains

I’m not gonna lie he tries to use his Byakugan when he’s fishing in animal crossing so he can see what type of fish it is through the water and it pisses him the fuck off when it doesn’t work

Like he’s just playing Animal Crossing at like 3 am and you hear him whisper shout “Byakugan!” And then he punches the air bc it doesn’t work

He changes his passport title to “Nook Inc’s Island Dweller”

Nejis favourite thing to do on animal crossing is probably fishing tbh. Like yes it does aggravate the absolute fuck out of him sometimes when he keeps catching the same worthless fish over and over again, but he enjoys the rush of it

His house is all white, like only white furniture idk why

No group interactions, only w Hinata who he made swear she wouldn’t tell anyone he plays

Def critiques her Island and in her head she’s like :0 bruh I’m ur only Animal Crossing friend and youre gonna critique my fucking island nah bitch not w your ghetto ass all white stinky looking cottage

I love Neji I’m sorry but this shit is too funny for me

Neji wants his character to look as much like him as possible, but can’t find the right hairstyle

His drip is fire tho like his outfit is so nice even if it’s all white as well

Rock Lee

Kiba and Shino might be rivals, but they both equally despise Rock Lee on Animal Crossing

Treats it like real life.

For example: since him and TenTen are friends he’s like “me and Tentens islands are Allies”

Has declared war on Kiba and Shino so many times and they’re like?? Dude you can’t even start a war like wtf

He is so competitive though LMFAOO AND HE MAKES HIS CHARACTER WORK OUT. Like he makes him run laps every morning and it doesn’t even benefit him in the game at all... anyways

His island is in the northern hemisphere for sure and it’s named “Power of Youth” or something involving the word Youth

Uses his Nook phone to take pics will all the islanders he stumbles upon

“Good evening, Lily! Let’s take a picture together, the sun is shining in a way that perfectly accentuates your features!”

He also talks to islanders out loud and reads their captions in designated voices for them, it annoys the shit out of Neji

Jazzes the shit out of his Passport like his title is “horizon bound patron” and his little passport comment is “THE POWER OF YOUTH!”

Takes the Nook miles quests so seriously. “I will complete three quests today.” Thinks of them as missions and so he gives them the same energy

Probably calls Nook “Nook-Sensei”

“right away Nook-Sensei” or “you can count on me Nook-sensei!” Whenever Nook asks him something

Rock Lees fav activity is literally just completing whatever a character asks him to do. Like constantly does quests and enjoys it. Wtf

If there is workout furniture on animal crossing, best believe it’s in Rock Lees house

He gets so pissy when Kiba won’t let him on his Island

Invites everyone to his island and forces them onto a tour of it.

Also his character looks so fucking similar to himself that it’s eerie

Kiba will make fun of him for it (Shino will probably join in too)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #269

“why aren’t you scared of me, why do you care for me, when we all fall asleep, where do we go?”

What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual. What are you obsessed with right now? lol y'all know my staple stuff I'm always obsessed with, so two recent ones are Skillet (I've been binging soooo hard) and drawing again! What piercings do you want? A lot, jfc. More than any, I want collarbone dermals once I lose enough weight to where they're prominent. I've been on a goddamn weight loss plateau for two years. What’s your favorite show to binge? None. I generally don't enjoy binging too much. Do you watch porn? No, not interested. Do you have a secret sideblog? lol this survey blog. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? No. I very briefly considered getting one pierced, but I won't. Are you angry with anyone right now? Not like... actively. But passively it's there. What tattoos do you want? I refuse to die until I'm P A I N T E D  F O R  T H E  G O D S. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Absolutely paperback books. It feels more "real," something to dive into, and it's easier to see and understand how far you're in. We talked about this in Writing once, was an interesting convo. Plus the smell of books, aaaaaahhhhh. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yes How many followers do you have? On here? *checks* 265. Do you read erotica? No, I'd feel SUPER uncomfortable. That's why 50 Shades has never appealed to me. Have you ever gotten into an accident with you parents’ car? No. Ever thought of just picking up and moving far away? Oh yes. What’s the wallpaper on your computer? My lock screen is the Halo of the Sun from SH, and my actual desktop wallpaper is my favorite closeup of my late pup Teddy. What is the last thing/person you took a picture of? Probably a stupid Facebook meme to show Sara or something lmao. Name a band/artist you like that isn’t that popular. Otep. Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)? I'm sure I could. What is the first vehicle you recall your parents/guardians owning? Mom had a blue/greenish van for most of my childhood, while Dad had this old tan thing that he nicknamed "Frida the Cheetah" lmao. He had that damn car forever. Have you ever seen counterfeit money? Not knowingly. Have you ever lost a pet you were attached to? Well of course. I grew up with tons of pets. What was the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? Probably texting back "fuck you" to Mom when she was being really shitty when I was having a breakdown. Pick one: laundry, dishes, or vacuuming? I'd pick vacuuming over the others any day. Have you ever moved and had to change schools growing up? No. You are forced to move out-of-state. Where do you go? I literally want to move to Canada. The highway and back roads take you to the same place; choose your route. Back roads, probably. You’re going to be a mom/dad; what do you think/do? Have a fucking panic attack. Are you more likely to give up or persist when you’re having trouble? It really depends on the seriousness of the situation, but in most cases I've actually faced, give up. Do you resemble one parent more than the other? I don't think so. Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; do you give them one of yours? If we're compatible, yes. Name a big life event that has taken place for you within the last 2 years. Nothing because my life is incredibly monotonous and stagnant. Name one difficult lesson you’ve learned. Life isn't fair, and life doesn't care. Name one thing you look forward to as you get older. Hey, let's hope I can be a functioning adult before I'm 70. Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying? Yes. Will you usually admit it when you’ve made a mistake? Yeah. Does stress ever affect you physically? If yes, how? Oh, yes. My stomach will absolutely hurt and I sweat more than normal (I say "normal" because I have hyperhidrosis). Did you have a money box as a kid? What shape was it if you did? I don't remember... I know we didn't regularly get an allowance or anything like that, but maybe I'm sure I stored money I was given somewhere? Has kids TV ever frightened you? As a kid, I both watched and feared Courage the Cowardly Dog, lol. Do you have any potted plants in your house? No. If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born and why? Early '80s! What a time for music, metal fashion, and fun. If you ran a store, what would you sell/have? IF I was more knowledgeable on more species, probably reptiles and more proper care materials and give advice that's not shit. Places like PetSmart and Petco just... disgust me. What part in a movie would you love to play? If I was confident in acting, probably the maniac lmao. I've experienced enough Crazy for that. What's the oldest article of clothing you own? I don't really know, but I do know Mom has a lot of my and my siblings' shirts as we've grown up to knit together a blanket one day. Fuckin cute as hell. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What instrument do you wish you could be more than great at? Guitar, with that electric twist anyway. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba roars atop Pride Rock in the storm and all the lionesses join in FUCK I get goosebumps out the WAZOO. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Twizzlers, disgoosting. If you could only debate two topics the rest of your life, what would they be? LGBTQ+ rights is #1, then... hm... probably the pro-choice argument. Or just women rights in general. Out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically? Oh man, my friend Mini. She drew pretty well when we were young, but her skill like... increased exponentially with time. She doesn't draw in a *style* I'm envious of, but that growth tho. Most jealous of….intellectually? Girt. What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed? My brain lmao. A famous person you have met? Nobody. Who were the last five people to text you? Dad, Sara, Ashley, Mom, and my grandma. What is your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. Think of the last two people you kissed. Who was more fun? I've explained the "idk if *I* ever actually kissed Girt" before, but just for the sake of the question, I'll just count him. I tbh hated it only ever because why were your lips always wet, sir???? The latest person was Sara, and she kissed fine. If your house was burning down and you only had sixty seconds to grab one or two things, what would you grab and why? Roman and Venus because they're family and I adore them. Out of all the concerts you have been to, which band/singer was the best performer? Alice was great! When was the last time you went miniature golfing? For Jason's and my second or third anniversary, so a long time ago. What’s a song you like from a genre you hate? I always answer this question with a country answer, so let's go rap. Hm. OH, probably a Post Malone song. I actually don't mind him. If you had twin girls what would you name them? Alessandra indisputably, and then the other... maybe like, Josephine. Especially as twins, I'd want two gorgeous, less-heard names. What kind of condoms do you use? I don't use any because I'm not sexually active. Do you say years young or years old [ex: 16 years young or 16 years old]? Man, I miss the days I could confidently say "years young," lmao. Do you have any personality disorders? Avoidant, yes. I'm pretty convinced I have dependent PD, too. Do you shave your arms? Armpits, yes, but not my entire arms. What do you dip your fries in? Ketchup or honey mustard. Has one of your good friends ever moved away? Damn, yeah. I particularly remember this girl from elementary school in I think the 5th grade that I was very close with, yet I don't remember her name now. What color car are you when you play The Game of Life? Dude idr the colors at all. Which hair color do you find the ugliest? I've seen it be pulled off, but generally, yellow. Would you date a guy that wears more make-up than you do? Hell yeah man you fuckin strut that shit. Did you ever play M.A.S.H. when you were little? Ah, I remember that! Sure did. If you were getting married, who would be your maid of honor? My mom. If you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? No, but I would of course. Do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not any more than the average person. Do you chew gum on a regular basis? No. List all of your features that you have ever got compliments on: Do you mean just physical? If that's the case, hair, eyes, smile, uh... I feel like that's it. WAIT I can't remember who but someone once called my nose cute. Have you ever been in a hot air balloon, and if not, would you ever want to go in one? No; yes. What type of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro 5. Is anyone else in the room with you right now? My snake. Do you whiten your teeth with crest white strips? Not Crest, but a different brand, yes. I hate my teeth. Do you listen to local bands? Not really. I will sometimes listen to an old friend's band, at least bits of what they post on Facebook. Nova Mortis, check 'em out if you like pretty heavy metal. Do you have a pool in your back yard? No, but damn do I wish. Do your parents fight? Do they even talk at all? That's why they're divorced. They, especially Mom, avoid doing so whenever they can. Do you drink alcohol on New Year’s Eve? Usually. Do you wear rings? Just one, a friendship ring w/ Sara. Are there any restaurants in walking distance to your house? It'd be quite a long walk, at least by my standards. What was the last picture you uploaded to your Facebook? A picture of Mom and me. Have you ever listened to the same song on repeat for hours on end? YES. When I find a song I really like, I become VERY obsessive. Like I will play it and play it and play it for days. I in general have an extremely obsessive personality. Do you like staying in hotels? I don't have much of an opinion. It's a nice change of space, though. Are musicals interesting or boring? They're cheesy to me. What is your favorite scent of incense? (If you burn it) Okay, HEAR ME OUT. There is legit a kind called "monkey farts" that smells SO FUCKIN GOOD. Jason used to burn incense in his room all the time and that was my favorite one, so I use it now. Where do you normally hang out on the weekends? At home. I'm always at home, regardless of the day. Can you tune a guitar by ear or do you need a tuner? I never could. Do you like love songs? Generally, yes. They're sweet. Would you rather drink 7Up or Sprite? Fun fact: Sprite used to be my FAVORITE soda as a kid. I even had a fuckin Sprite shirt. Now, I hate it. I haven't tasted 7UP in forever. What is your favorite song as of right now? I'm seriously digging Halocene lately, esp their cover of "bury a friend." Have you ever sex texted? This is gonna sound so stupid, but I'm actually not *totally* sure what that is? Just like, dirty talking or like, virtually RPing sex? The former I did when I was fuckin 12 like a goddamn idiot, but not the latter. When's the last time you went out of state? A year and a half (I think?) ago to visit Sara. What was your favorite TV show last year? I didn't *really* have one, at least not actively. Like I didn't devoutly watch anything. Would you know who to talk to if you wanted weed? HAHA I sureeeee do. I wouldn't want any, though. What is your favorite Beatles song? "Hey, Jude." If you could kiss anyone right now, who would it be? I don't want to think about this. What is your favorite energy drink? I don't like energy drinks. Way too intense. Have you ever been to Hooters before? No. When's the last time you tripped? (Literally or, you know) HA, funny I take this survey today because my left foot is either broken or I seriously tore a ligament in it because I fell yesterday. I had to go up a dose on my medication that helps my nightmares, but it's notoriously for lowering your blood pressure, and mine is naturally low. I got up to go to the bathroom and grab breakfast and many times nearly passed out from being so dizzy until I finally fell and my foot bent forward. I couldn't even walk by myself yesterday and am still really struggling today. Our family friend brought the boot she wore when she broke her foot over just a while ago, but if this doesn't help, Mom's demanding I go to the ER. Can you touch your toes? I don't know HOW I can, but I can, I guess from when I did yoga daily and I could pretty much go under my feet. What would you say is the best feeling in the world? Being in love and knowing they're in love with you, too. Have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via Twitter? No. Do you like croissants? YESSSSSSSSSSS. Do you get a lot of traffic outside your house or not? Yes. Mom explained to me why one day because I'd asked, but idr what she said. Do you eat cereal bars? No, I'm a granola bar person. Would you consider yourself healthy? Uh no. Assuming you could speak and understand the language, would you ever study in a foreign, non-English speaking country? Sure, for like a year or so! Doing that in Germany would be amazing. Are you on any prescribed medication? A lot. Do you know any immigrants? I know an illegal one that got deported. I probably know others. Have you ever lived in university or college accommodation before? No. If you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? If you have, do you like it? Very scared. I'm just very dependent and ignorant on how to be an adult. If you could only eat one vegetable for a year (not including potatoes) what would it be? Broccoli. Do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? What is it? Shave, shampoo, facial scrub, this exfoliating brush for your feet, and then body wash. Is there anything that you loved a year ago but just can’t stand now? Hm. I don't really know. What’s the weirdest meat you’ve ever eaten? I took the SMALLEST bite out of it because I couldn't stomach eating it, but after a lot of convincing I tried a microscopic bit out of deer jerky. If you smoke, what brand of cigarettes do you smoke? If you don’t, have you ever tried? Don't smoke and don't want to. Do you like dried fruit at all? what’s your favorite type? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

[hereforaus]

Now Breathe || pt 2

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: bodyguard!jungkook , rebel!reader , numb!reader, smut, angst

“people invading your personal space is one of the top most annoying thing to ever exist on earth and your overprotective politician mother hiring a personal bodyguard for you didn’t help at all”

wordcount:5.7k

WARNINGS! : 18+ , foul languages, violence, mentions of bully, smut (on future episodes) 

A/N: I made a trailer of this fic for yall to watch [here] :))))) thankyou for the love that yall showered for the first part and i hope you like this one,,,:)

part 1

“MOM!!!” Your nose is literally flaring right now as if there’s gonna be smoke coming out of it in no time. Upon entering the house, you decided to head to where you’re most probably gonna find your mom, her little office.

“How was the concert sweet pea?” she said with that so sweet tone she use with you eversince you were young. Eyes never leaving the paper she’s been holding since you arrive.

“The concert? OH HELL SO LIT. The bodyguard you just hired permanently for me? AWFUL

“Tell you what, he’s the best in his job despite the age” she’s not even looking at you. Like she does not know the weight of her actions.

“For fucks sake”

“Language”

“But mom! Are you seriously gonna do this to me? You do remember the only thing I ask of you in exchange of behaving well and staying away from fights right? I just need privacy, that’s all I ask” You look defeated. Awfully defeated.

“Yes sweetie. I remember everything but I need you to do me a favor for now” for the first time she look at you, her eyes looking so tired under her glasses and you notice the dark circles under her eyes seemingly heavy. She needs sleep, she looks drained out of life. “I’ve been receiving death threats for the past few days. At first it was just me and I can take that, but just yesterday you’ve been included. Hell they even know your university, the dance classes you take and the gym you’ve been conducting your boxing sessions during weekends. I don’t want to force you to not go to these places anymore since I know you can’t do that so that’s the least I can do”

You understand her and you can be a brat sometimes but you love your mom above anyone else, seeing her like this hurts you too. She’s already tired from work, you can see that and thinking that she’s been stressing over the threats on you must’ve been horrible. You can’t imagine how distressed she is and you know that the only thing you can do is to not add from her worries therefore you abide.

“Yes mom, I understand. But can you please rest? I hate seeing you like this”

She smiled.

“I know you’re such an understanding person. I will rest in no time sweet pea, for now you should go to bed too”

“I will. I love you”

“You’re always a sweet kid. I love you too”

-

“Morning miss” he said right after you open the door of the car to your spot on the front seat. Oh yeah, your driver has been replaced too by no other than Jeon Jungkook. His presence irritate you more than you like to but the only thing you can do is to shrug it off, put your earphones on, blast something off a Childish Gambino song, and wait till you arrive to your school not even giving a glance to the person next to you.

You exited the car without any word, almost missing the little wave Jungkook gave you because the car door was slammed quickly right after you set foot on the school grounds.

-

“You WHAT?”

“You heard it right, I have my personal bodyguard now”

“Woah woah! so what’s gonna happen now?” Sometimes talking to Lea makes you tired. Aside from the nonstop talking she always do, she also always have lots of questions.

“I guess he’s gonna follow me around everywhere? I dont know really. I’m not gonna be surprised if he’s outside this classroom right now”

“That’s cool!!!”

“Oh yeah for you” and then she’s standing up. “Hey where are you going?”

“Outside. I’m gonna see your body guard”

She’s a headache.

You quickly hold onto her wrist and pull her back to her seat. “I didn’t say he’s actually there”

“I’m just kidding” here she goes with her grin again. She turn her body to her left, directly facing you and she position her left palm under her chin. “So, how does he look like? You know some private agents are hot, just like what I see in the movies”

He’s hot, not gonna lie. “He is almost balding and quite got a cute belly”

At that she slam her hands from her face to your desk. “Bad luck”

“It’s not bad luck love, it’s just that movies are the opposite of real life, and you little peanut, should let that sink in”

“I swear sometimes you got no jams”

“I’m just being realistic and i don’t give all my time fantasizing unlike you. Don’t you get tired tho? of being disappointed all the time?”

“No. Sometimes hoping is tiring but saves you from sadness” She’s the opposite of you in every ways, and maybe that’s why your friendship works out. They say opposite attracts afterall and similar repels.

Just in time, your prof walk in the class. By the sound of his morning greetings, you can tell that he must’ve had his favorite coffee for breakfast, no doubt his day has been great so far.

You could only hold your pen tighter, very ready to continue the poem you started last night. You were just waiting for him to start the class (Chemistry, your least favorite) so that you can already pretend that you’re taking notes from every nonsense that’s coming out from his mouth when suddenly there seems like an announcement.

“Okay class” he spoke with authority but you can only care less as you’re already so deep into the world of poem and words.

“We have a new friend here today. Please intoduce yourself now”

“Hello, my name is Jeon Jungkook and I hope we get along well”

You shook your head. What’s up with boys named Jungkook nowadays and not just that they sound similar too… WAIT… they’re actually similar!

Upon realizing this, you snap your head to the front only to see Jeon Jungkook, your personal bodyguard, in all his glory, wearing the same uniform as all the other guys in that room, his beaming face earning coos from all the girls, right then and there you realize that your situation… couldn’t get any worse. In no time he’s gonna be your boxing coach too, at the same time sparring partner, maybe he’s gonna be one of your dance mates too. Great.

After his short speech that left everyone a fan of him for sure, he made his way to the vacant seat beside you. Of course he will, what did you expect?

“Hi mate”

You can only sigh at this.

“Hi creep”

“Bad morning?” you’re getting tired of his voice already.

“You know better than anyone else” you took off your eyes from your notebook for a while to look at him directly. “Do you want me to sit on your lap now? I think that’s the only thing left to do, is it?” This is gonna be an endless banter and you can smell it. Seeing that he can’t seem to find out how to use his mouth to speak, you return your eyes to your notebook not missing a roll of it upon doing so.

Just like that, Jungkook was left wide eyed, his expression quickly changing into that of a cocky one and a smirk soon followed suite. He’s gonna love his job for sure.

-

“Isn’t he cute?”

“Every single one here is cute for you Lea, stop speaking and eat your food already”

“This is different. He’s cute and hot Y/N and I think he likes you”

You lift your head and eyes from your food in order to look at her dead in the eyes, a true indication for her to just shut up and eat her food already. The school cafeteria is packed and noises from different groups of people can be heard. She nod her head behind you, a gesture that made you look over your shoulders. And you saw him. Who else but him.

“He does not like me okay? I can tell you that. So now let’s eat peacefully yeah?”

“I mean he’s been checking you out even earlier at class, you’re the first one he laid his eyes into”

You hissed.

“Okay I’ll shut up”

Finally.

-

“Our way to dance class miss?”

“Yes” you said, voice plain. “and please call me Y/N”

“Y/n” he repeated. Your name tasting good coming from his mouth.

“Yes you creep, hurry up or i’ll beat you up if I get late”

Soon after, the only sound in the car that can be heard is the list of songs from Amy Winehouse’s album called Frank and even though you know that it’s not a normal thing to be hearing from someone your age, you couldn’t care less. Halfway through the drive you urge yourself to speak, this question has been lingering on your mind for quite some time now.

“Tell me, what else did you do aside from entering the same school as mine and the same class too like a creep?”

“Don’t worry, nothing else”

“That’s a surprise”

“You know what, you have to treat me as your friend now, your mother told me to treat you as one cause you don’t get along with our kinds so it’s better if we can just be friends or something”

“I’m not friendly so you can scratch that thought already”

“Who hurted you to be like this?”

Jungkook didn’t mean it the hard way but as soon as you process his words, your mind goes blank. You immediately snap your head to his direction, thankfully enough he isn’t looking at you because his focus is on the road. He can see you from the corner of his eye but not entirely. He failed to see the look of vulnerability in your eyes that only three person in this world has seen. First your mom, second Lea, and third, your dad…

-

“Pull over”

“What?” Jungkook looks confused.

“I said pull over”

He did.

You got out of the car and opened the door to the driver’s seat where Jungkook is currently seating.

“Get out”

“No I can’t”

“I said get out, let’s exchange seats”

He obeyed.

No other words was exchanged because soon, you’re speeding up to somewhere he cant pinpoint where.

-

“Let’s have a deal”

You’re now inside the gym, a boxing ring located in the very front of it.

“What kind of deal this time?” Jungkook is now walking beside you.

“You’ll find out”

Soon enough there are two guys in front of you, beaming.

“Y/N!” Hoseok said, his eyes resembling that of crescent moons while making his way closer to you for a hug in which you complied to immediately. Seokjin also did the same resulting to a group hug that almost suffocates you. You love them, oh you surely does.

“Did I hear Y/N” you heard yoongi from a far following some footsteps that you can tell is headed towards you.

“Yoongi”

“Why are you here? You don’t come during weekdays” he said with slight amusement in his tone. Only you can get to stir up an emotion from him and that, you consider is your legacy.

“I needed to let out so badly. Do you have clothes for this guy?” you gesture towards Jungkook. The guy now in spotlight looking lost for a while but soon composed himself trying not to look dumb in front of the unfamiliar but quite intimidating faces.

Yoongi nodded, gesturing for jungkook to follow him while Seokjin and Hoseok produces baffling noises from excitement. You headed to one of the lockers owned by Seokjin to get some clothes that you left there purposely as a stock for emergencies like this. When the both of you had changed into gym clothes, Yoongi was quick to hand the gloves and head gear to the both of you.

“Yoongs, we’re not gonna be using that” Yoongi can only smirk. He knows more than anyone else in that room what’s going on inside your mind right now and the mere thought is enough to produce a smirk to his face.

You’re quick to head to the ring slightly bending your body forward to fully enter it. Less to your surprise Jungkook is still standing with the 3 boys.

“Hey creep! Get in here. We have a deal to finish” He does not need to be told twice because within seconds, he’s already in front of you. “If you win, you’ll get me to comply to one thing that you want me to do but the other way happens when I win. Sound fair?”

“Rules?” He does not back out from challenges.

“Freestyle match” The three guys can’t help but shout from excitement upon hearing this from you. If there is one thing to describe you, it is that you’re a beast inside the ring specially if there are no rules. Truth be told you’re not as serene as you appear to be, never. Eversince you were 11 (the time when you discovered that there’s a thing called punching bags and you can actually not use it because there’s a thing called sparring matches too) you were always involved in fights. Be it when Lea was once bullied by two guys because of her pigtails, in which those poor boys ended up with a broken nose and missing teeth and your first record from the guidance office or when you got pissed off by a random girl because she tried to act almighty in front of you attempting to trip you once when you were on your way to the table you share with Lea in the cafeteria (she ended up transferring schools after that because of an almost broken jaw which resulted to a workload of compensation money and letters from your mother).

After that incident, no one, not a single lost soul has dared to touch you or Lea. It’s not because of what you did but because of what more you can do. You being an asshole of a warfreak isn’t the only case because you act like you have nothing to lose, and that is the scariest thing about you. Well that’s not totally true because you have your own weaknesses, everyone does, but you will never let anyone know about that. The more they know, the higher chance they can take advantage of you. You believe that the more you expose yourself, the more you show fragileness and looking vulnerable in front of someone is scary. For you, not being able to lay flat all your emotions on the table is better than people having the chance or ability to hurt you. So just like that, you almost forget how it feels like to feel and it does not make living any better or easier because choosing to abandon your emotions is like entering the space. It’s like you’re just a floating thing on space, just there but do not actually has a purpose. Like you’re existing but you’re nothing.

You grew up like that. No idea on how to actually express your feelings other than through couple of punches. You would come to the gym every weekend to let out anything you’ve been keeping inside once in a while. You grew fond of the three boys that own this gym. They’re actually the only breathing human being with balls that can get along with you right from the start because at some point, the four of you are not far from same. You never have stopped being involved in fights but you do everything in your power to keep yourself away from it specially if you’re inside the school grounds.

Occasionally you would go home with purple bruises on your face. There is this one time when you happen to stumble to a couple of girls on your way back home from grocery with an ice cream on your left hand. The three of them looks like some gals your age, enjoying the freedom of youth, seemingly broke out of their wits because of clubbing plus cigarettes and alcohol. That time wasn’t the time for girls like you to be out in a dangerous city like seoul with no company of a male friend or relative but the three of them didn’t seem to mind it as they walk towards you, looking as if they can swallow you whole with their over manifestation of eye mascaras just so to look fierce and to have the “im young and wild and free so don’t touch me” vibes. You ignore them as you’re already trying to pass through them, a girl with blonde shoulder length hair and a bubblegum being chewed in his mouth grabbed your right wrist. At first you look at her, carefully scanning her features and you gave her a sweet and innocent smile but the looks she gave you in return screams something between the lines of “you should beg on your knees right now” as if the bubblegum on her mouth isn’t the cliché-est thing you’ve seen through out your whole life. You weren’t really planning on picking up on those girls and you’re already building an invisible bubble consisted of the substance called patience around your brain when halfway through talking them out of the situation, the girl slapped your left hand causing your favorite ice cream that took you a lot of effort to buy from the market to be shove out of your hand and to the floor. The moment you saw the ice cream meeting the dirt on the ground, you let out a scowl. If those girls knew you, they should’ve known better than stand there and continue the mocking expressions on their faces just from the sound of your snort but they don’t know you and they don’t know what they’re getting themselves into. So you lost it. The bubble patience wore out and the only thing left was raging anger. Needless to say, they must’ve stayed away from clubbing for 2 months after that incident because you’re sure as hell, one of them was on the brink of losing her eyeballs from a jab you did that ended up straight to her face. You’re not dangerous, you always say that to yourself but you’re always proven wrong whenever you can’t control yourself from wanting to punch just anything in front of you.

Hoseok, Seokjin and Yoongi knows how to calm you down by now. Seokjin being the most caring among all of them has been your exclusive doctor for years now. He would always have his first aid kit checked for empty bottles of disinfectant or pain killers, he can’t afford to run out of them because he can’t afford to see your wounds too. Yoongi has been the only trainer who managed to keep up with your temper whenever you would go overboard because of a specific bullshit in your life. Hoseok have long since learned how to catch your jabs and not get injured whenever the two of you would go sparring, he’s your long life partner, you can’t thank him enough.

Going back to the current situation, you look at Jungkook straight in the eyes, examining if there’s uncertainty on them but much to your surprise, you found none. You realized he’s just as stubborn as you and you can deal with that. “The game ends with a pin. Aside from that, you can do whatever during the match. Are we deal now?” You can feel your insides starting to heat up.

“This is gonna be great” he said in response “but don’t forget that i’m your body guard with a reason y/n, are you sure you want to do this?”

You can’t tell whether he’s being worried or being cocky but you don’t have time to dwell on that any longer. “Let’s see and find out for ourselves shall we?”

“You shouldn’t take her slightly kid” Hoseok knows what to say. He flashes Jungkook one of his blinding smiles.

“That’s Jungkook for you” And then the match started.

The first 2 minutes was spent blocking each other’s attack by hands. Majority of your antics was quickly avoided by him. He’s much stronger and well built than you, you can tell because of the times you lay your hands on his shoulder through out the fight that his muscles aren’t one to mess with. You would attack him countless of times but he won’t do the same for you. You can tell that he’s taking you easy. “Remember our deal. You won’t like it if I win” You said in between attacks.

“Who said i’ll let you win”.

tension

He’s now lurching forward. Left fist attempting its first contact to your face. missed. You grab his left arm still positioned in the air from the previous attack with your right hand. Pulling it towards you, he stumbled forward. Then a kick from your left knee to his torso followed. First hit.

The sound of skin grazing and making contact to each other came to a halt when the both of you paused. Jungkook has taken your left arm behind you by now. His left hand tangled in it with a force. His other arm came wrapped on your neck. Your whole body is aginst his. You can’t move.

Smell of sweat mixed with both your scents is strong in the air. The sound of Jungkook’s ragged breathing filled your ears and the feeling of his wet skin against yours overwhelmed your body.

A kick on the back of your knee sent you to the ground. Coming face to face to him, he hovered over your body. But before he can perform his next moves, you inch your face close to him, your arms made its way around his neck, and then your lips came in contact with each other causing his mind to shut down, eyes wide with the sudden move. 1…2…3…, before he can even comprehend anything, you broke the kiss. Your left knees swayed forward to his lower region. He growled in pain, it caused him to lay crouching on his back, instinctively holding his private part because of the electrifying pain. Then the last move you go, pin.

-

Right after the match ended, you bid your goodbyes with your good friends then you hop to the driver’s seat of your car, your mom’s car. Jungkook was quick to enter the car.

Both of you stayed silent. Jungkook seemingly deep in thoughts because of earlier and you, focused on the road. Jungkook does not have an idea where you’re heading to and by the looks of you, the destination is far from reach so he decided to break the silence.

“So… the deal”

“Yeah the deal” you tap your tumb on the stirring wheel repeatedly before continuing what you has to say “I need you to do this one thing”

“As long as it does not meddle with my work, i’m more than willing to obey”

“Sure” pause “ I need you to lie”

“W-what?”

“I know the system Jeon. You’re my bodyguard, and everyday you send a report to my mom. I’m not dumb”

“If you know the system then you should also know that I can’t lie to your mom because loyalty is a part of my job”

“Your job is to protect me Jeon. You’re my bodyguard and you also have the responsibility to be loyal to me. Besides, you lost the deal so you don’t really have a choice”

“What exactly do I have to lie to?”

“Maybe we have to rephrase that. You don’t need to lie, you just need to skip some details”

“Please be more specific maam” he released a scoff

“Follow me”

—

The both of you ended up in front of a seemingly abandoned, four story high building somewhere in the most secluded part of Seoul where only the most dangerous people who’ve been feared by normal citizens are able to walk on the streets at night. Jungkook can tell from observing the place on your drive up to here that the whole area isn’t a place that a normal person would visit or would plan to. Majority of the buildings around are abandoned and graffitied. There aren’t much streetlights and the houses are small, murky and right next to each other, not to mention, litters are everywhere.

You opened the pealing door surrounded by iron chunks that reveal the interior of the skyscraper you just entered. The ground floor displayed the presence of nothing that even doors separating the multiple rooms are missing. The whole floor is mainly consisted of thick dusts and the very few slightly dimmed flickering lights that is only enough to aluminate the pathway to the stairs. Jungkook kept following you from behind, both your steps leaving an echo through out the place. You made your way down to the underground and upon your second step from the stairs, you halt causing Jungkook to do the same. You turn your face to the side.

“Watch where you’re going Jeon” then you gestured to his feet. Just then, he notice a very thin thread that is almost invisible to him. He carefully took his next step, doing his best not to touch the thing.

“Is that supposed to kill me?” he point his finger to the thread.

“That’s connected to a land mine” you said, voice filled with seriousness

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?! What if I didn’t stop there? I might be roasted right in this moment!” He look at you straight in the eyes, looking angry for a moment. The silence lingered in the air as the two of you seemed to have an intense staring contest going on… but what Jungkook didn’t expect was when you burst out laughing. You’re crouching down, holding your stomach and a tear took its place on the corner of your eye threatening to drop at any moment while your giggle filled the room.

“Connected to a land mine” you repeat your words from earlier while doing your best not to end up laughing again. “There’s no such thing as that Jeon. That will just alert someone down here” and then you continue your steps, ignoring Jungkook’s dumbfounded look until you’re standing in front of a room. You entered a code to open the lock on the door and upon entering the only room that seems to be gifted with colors other than gray, Jungkook saw a man slumped on one of the tables, his whole surrounding consisted of computers lined up next to each other, codes on green font appearing then disappearing on them,some computer showing the situation of each room on the building from a camera installed on the corners of it. He definitely didn’t expect any of these.

“Joon” Upon hearing his name, Namjoon jolted from his seat, almost knocking the coffee lying on his left side. Upon recognizing the source of the voice, he wiped his tired eyes, hazily grabbing the glasses on his head and repositioning it so it rests on his nose.

“Y/N” Namjoon is beaming now although you can hear the exhaustion tainting his voice.

“How’s it going?“

“Few codes and I can access his computer already. Actually I didn’t expect this to be risky. Their system is protected with a security software that would alert their main computer if someone is trying to manipulate their pseudonyms. Good thing I found out about it sooner, we almost got caught there” you hum in response, just by then, Namjoon noticed the shadow behind you, he found a nameless man looking slightly dumbfounded gazing back at him. “You didn’t tell me that you’ll be inviting a guest today. Mind if you introduce him?”

“Oh yeah. He’s Jeon Jungkook. My bodyguard” They both eyed each other. Few seconds later Namjoon decided to direct his glance at you, his left eyebrow scrunching up as if to silently ask you what’s going on.

You decided to speak again. “He asked me about the thing that he should lie to. So here it is, I’m showing him the one and only thing that he can never tell my mother because once she knew about this, it’s gonna be over for the two of us”

Fact.

“Wait” Jungkook spoke for the first time. “What exactly is this?” he gestured his hands around.

“You’ll understand this soon once Namjoon finishes his job” You threw a smile on Namjoon. Not a second later, he’s getting back to his work, hands tirelessly typing out words that even you can’t quite figure out. He worked with three computers, constantly switching from time to time.

10 minutes passed, only the sound of Namjoon slamming his fingers on the keyboard and the nonstop clicks from the mouse can be heard. You waited for 1 more minute until Namjoon decided to hit the enter button more loudly than the rest to signal the end of his reverie.  

“Off you go y/n” he removed his glasses. Lying it on his table, he turned back to you and Jungkook to flash you another smile that shows off his deep dimpled cheeks. “Lotus club. I traced the location of his phone and he’s currently there. I also hacked on the cctv of the club a few days ago and I found out he goes there often to get wasted and bring home some girl he can have a good time with on his bed. I need you to do something to get this task 75% done” he pause for a minute, his gaze switching between you and Jungkook. “We need to install something on his phone” he then pull out a small card in between his fingers.

You know what he’s implying already, you’ve done this before on one of your missions and you’re more than excited to do it again. You scurry your way to Namjoon, snatching the micro card on his fingers with a flick.

“Got it pal” then you’re off with Jungkook.

[bluebellhairpin]

Haikyuu!!! Headcannons - Cuddles/Hugs

I was bored. So I wrote this up. I hope none of the characters are too OOC, but I tried, so that’s what matters. Have a good one. - Nemo

Masterlist   

Hinata Shoyo

This boi. He’s so hyped up all the time. Good luck getting him to sit still long enough for a good cuddle session out of him.

But when you do because you do he absolutely adores cuddles. 

He adores cuddles anyway, but longer cuddles sessions are one of his fave things to do besides stare at your beauty and receive Kageyama’s serves with his goddamn face.

When you cuddle, he just rambles on and on about what happened the past week even though you’ve heard it three times already but you don’t mind. 

Because he blabbers on so much, you hear his voice a lot. His voice make you go to sleep and once you’re asleep he’s nodded off too oops then he stayed the night, not that you noticed since you were busy sleeping.

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Kageyama Tobio

He will deny liking cuddles, but the fact he loves it when you wrap your arms around him from behind and bury your face in his back says other wise. Stop lying to yourself Tobio.  “(y/n), I can’t even see you from behind him.”

He’s rather bushy when it comes to snuggling, but random cuddles are the only thing that makes him bearable for his other team members. They thank you for giving him cuddles. Seriously. “I get it Hinata.”

If he’s drinking his milk he will offer to share it with you. But only if you give him a hug. Tough bargain, I know.

He just really likes your hugs, but if someone starts teasing him about it, the person will get death glares™ from the both of you.

Everyone just loves how you can soften him by wrapping you arms around him. They were shook the first time it happened. 

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Tuskishima Kei

Like Kageyama, he will deny liking/enjoying cuddles, when he actually adores them. Only your hugs though.

During the hugs that you give him around others, he’d just let you cling to him (completely almost ignores you) while he keeps doing what he was doing (walking, homework, training, etc). But when you’re both alone, he’d legit wrap his arms around you and pull you onto him so that you become his blanket/pillow. 

He has Dino pj's, so naturally you bought a pillow that matched the fabric. Long story short; he cuddles you and you cuddle the pillow while he cuddles you. 

He kisses your head a lot during cuddles. Even when you hug him in public/near others he still kisses you head to acknowledge you. Secret tol nice bean.

He’s a tol salty bean that just loves you hugs even though he doesn't usually show it.

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Yamaguchi Tadashi

He’s a cutie, so clearly he’d be a bit shy about hugs/cuddles at first. But after a while he’s so completely used to it he wont let you go at times.

He’d definitely be the type of guy to bury his head in your neck/hair (depending on height and position and stuff).

Like Tuskishima, he’s totally kiss you while giving/receiving hugs/cuddles. But unlike Tuski; he peppers you in kisses. So many kisses. You had to peel him off you a couple time just so you could go to a keep living you life. “Yamaguchi, I need to pee. Get off.”

When you cuddle, there’s usually some sort of background noise (a movie, music, etc.) either that you you both chatter about things because he likes noise.

You just relax him a lot. He loves it. 

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Nishinoya Yuu

This boy. Man, lemme tell you, he’ll hug you whenever he gets the chance. 

Not only that but he’ll also cling onto you for dear life. Like he literally can become your backpack. No joke.

Like Kageyama, if he’s eating something he’ll offer some to you or for you to share. He won’t ask for anything in return though. But he’d offer to get you food anyways if you were hungry.

He was a bit blushy and still is around others about hugs, but he was so definitely used to it after the first couple days.

He likes playing with you hair/fingers while you cuddle. It’s his way of knowing you really are there with him.

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Tanaka Ryuunosuke

He will piggy-back you around just so he knows and everyone else knows he gave you some resemblance of a hug every day. 

He hold you close during hugs. Not ‘Crush your soul’ hugs, but just really close so that he feels like his humongous amount of love and adoration towards you is conveyed in every hug.

He likes lifting you up off the ground when he hugs you, and having you on top of him during cuddles because he likes the close contact.

He just loves loving you and hugging you and having you close.

He likes showing you off to others by giving you side hugs a lot. But god help anyone who stares at the two of you longer than he thinks decent bc he will glare hard.

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Kenma Kozume

He’s a reserved and introverted guy, so he’s not a huge fan of hugs, but if you want them he’ll give them to you. 

His favorite cuddle memory is when he was playing a video game and you came along wanting a cuddle. Long story short, you climbed on top of him and laid on him while he kept playing his game. He gave you some kisses tho, so you didn’t mind that he didn’t hug back right away.

Most days you both get home from school and just flop into a body pile and then play games. That’s what cuddles are classed as. 

But games aside, he like having meaningful conversations with you while you hold each other. It makes you both feel good inside.

He does love you. And he will hug you forever if you asked him to despite him maybe not enjoying it a lot.

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Daichi Sawamura

He loves your hugs, but he wont do it around others a lot encase it makes them uncomfortable. So most hugs are when you’re alone/only around a minimal amount of people.

Like Tanaka, he likes having you close. Unlike Tanaka, he wont hug you to death™ because he likes having you far enough away that he can look into your eyes properly.

He likes pressing your cheeks in his hands so you look like a fish, and then he kisses you. He likes it bc it makes you laugh but don’t tell him I told you.

He’s a sucker for full ‘underneath-the-blankets-and-two-hour-long’ cuddle sessions. Especially if there’s a selection of your combined fave movies and snacks. He could last for hours. No joke. 

He loves your hugs. He’ll even pull you aside before a game and give you a quick hug + kiss combo as a good luck charm for him. (So far it’s worked.)

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Sugawara Koushi

 He’s a pure ray of sunshine. Of course he hugs you a lot. 

Like him, his hugs are pure rays of Mamma-Suga Sunshine. They’re really warm, and comfy, and sometimes he hums/sings softly to some songs that he listened to later that day.

He likes giving you nose kisses whenever you hug. You’ll never get a hug from him that isn’t accompanied by some-sort of a kiss. 

If he goes to your place for cuddles which happens often he brings food. You don’t know why, he doesn’t know why, he just does and you’ve come to accept that as normal.

He also likes using cuddle sessions to catch up on anything that you did that day that he may have missed. It’s doesn’t happen often in that you tell him something hugely unexpected, but he likes those talks to make sure he knows what you’ve done that you liked/disliked that particular day.

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Oikawa Tooru

He always has you close to him. Always.

He usually just pulls you into his chest and rests his head atop of yours so you have no choice but to grab onto his arms to stop them from strangling you.

You cheer for him at games, so naturally when he wins and that’s very often you both do that ‘run into his arms and spins you around’ thing as you kiss him. So cliche but you love it. 

He has a lot of natural affection to give, and it all goes to you. Every ounce of it. You get hugs/kisses/cuddles all the time. It’s almost a problem.

Despite the fact that he has fangirls/guys even after you started dating, he doesn’t notice them as much as he used to (more specifically flirt with them) but he doesn’t snob them either. Bc you told him not to “Go be nice! Take some photos with them, I don’t mind.”

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Kuroo Tetsurou

This little prick will not hug you for days, then smother you in them for no reason whatsoever. You give him a good slap across the chest tho. He knows he deserves it and he doesn’t do it again. (Not for a couple months anyway).

He always greets you with a hug and a kiss on the lips because even tho he’s a huge tease he loves you heaps. Like, to the moon and back love.

His hugs are surprisingly really gentle and pure and soft. He is this huge mean and tough guy act, but when it comes to his s/o he turns into a pile of mush at their feet. 

Cuddles sessions with him are really good. He’s a portable heater and he also has a good singing voice so he sings for you if you wanted him to do so.

He can lift you up with one hand, so he give you side hugs and then picks you up with that arm, holds your bag with his other, and then walks you home holding you close with you in his arm.

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Asahi Azumane

This guy wasn’t used to hugs even after a couple weeks. It took him forever to get used to you not being scared of him.

But when he is used to it, he give you nothing but huge bear hugs. It’s an amazing feeling.

His arms wrap around you. He nuzzles his face in your hair. He pulls you so close you can soak in his heat. It’s just really nice and comforting and relaxing.

He likes to have movie marathons with you while you cuddle. He lets you pick all the movies so that you can wholly watch them while he wholly watches you. Kinda creepy, but the poor guy is just in so much awe at how he ended up with someone like you.

He also really adores how nicely you fit into his hold. He feels like there’s no other person on earth that he’s meant to cuddle with like that than you.

[fizzypopcake]

Just Another Arcana Fan Theory

Ever since I’ve read the last update of the Arcana game, I wasn’t really able to get my mind off of it. I’ve been pondering on it a lot since the characters and the plot is somehow inspired from bible scriptures, most especially on the book of revelations. These are just some of my speculations tho, everyone can either agree or disagree on it, or even better, discuss their own theories with me as well. I just want to talk about the 7 seals theory, a bit on the 4 horsemen and some of my conjectures on what happened.

So first off, remember how everyone in the fandom suspects the Vesuvian courtiers to resemble the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse? Welp, I’ve suspected as much too. For those who still has no idea about this, the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse came forth when the first 4 of the 7 seals were broken. I’m not going to tackle much about this since I guess there are already a lot of posts about it.

to summarize the 4 horsemen theory, it goes like this:

Quaestor Valdemar is likened to the first horseman (pestilence/infection) since they seemed to enjoy and would like to relive the times of the plague. Also note that the horseman was riding a white horse, which the main color motif of Valdemar’s clothing.

Pontifex Vulgora is likened to the second horseman (war). Vulgora’s personality often depicted their love for conflict and destruction. Vulgora’s main color motif is also red, much like the color of the horse of the 2nd horseman.

Procurator Volta is likened to the third horseman (Famine). As seen in Nadia’s route when the apprentice read Volta’s fortune, they said that Volta is always hungry, and will never fill the void no matter how much she eats. Volta’s clothing is black, like the third horse.

Praetor Vlastomil is likened to the fourth horseman (Death). Although it wasn’t quite obvious in the earlier books, but in book XI he was ultimately the one to decide death-- and obviously, he eagerly chose death upon Julian. His worms, in which he oh so loves, feed upon corpses. I’m thinking he is enticed by them because they devour death. Vlastomil’s complexion is pale, much like the color of the fourth horse.

The 7 seals theory 

Okay so now that we’re done with the 4 horseman theory, I would also like to present the 7 seals theory. On Asra’s route in book XI he revealed that on the night of Lucio’s “murder” all of them were present-- the courtiers, Nadia, Julian and Asra himself-- and were trying to cast a spell to move Lucio into another body. That’s 7 people in total and there are 7 seals. If the first 4 seals were the courtiers then the next 3 ones should be Julian, Asra and Nadia. (I might be spouting some nonsense here but its just my theory)

In old roman custom, when making a will of the dying there has to be 7 witnesses and with each of the 7 witnesses, there shall be a seal. The will shall be written in a scroll and shall be periodically sealed from time to time until the scroll will be sealed with 7 seals. So when the time for opening the scroll comes, it shall be in sections, breaking each seal after another. I’m thinking that it’s okay to refer to Roman customs seeing that the courtier’s titles (e.g. quaestor, pontifex, procurator and praetor) were used and originated in Ancient Rome.

Now, i’m guessing the 4 seals have been broken so what’s next? Well it’s most likely to be the breaking of the fifth seal. In the bible, the breaking of the fifth seal is portrayed as Tribulation, where martyrs cry out in suffering. They were saints/innocents that were slain for their testimonies/faith and shall be resurrected. Okay, okay now this is were it gets weird. What if... Julian actually gets hung in the next book?  But because of the seal, he shall be resurrected (hopefully!) It is heavily implied in all routes that Julian is actually not the one who “killed” Lucio (well at least not directly. Yes maybe he was involved but I’m betting that he isn’t the main culprit or even if he was, he’s not the only one) so maybe he really is innocent. Plus, he is very self sacrificing, like the martyrs in the book of revelations. Think about it, if Julian is slain just like the martyrs, then he too shall be resurrected, just like the martyrs. But seriously! My heart can’t take it if he actually does end up being a hanged man askdaksjdlasdg   

The next arcana card after “Justice- XI” would be “The Hanged Man- XII” which gives us an idea of what to expect next. After the hanged man card would be... Death- XIII (Oh no, I don’t like the sound of that!) Let’s hope that I’m wrong here, but I guess someone will indeed die, most likely Julian.

After the breaking of the 5th seal would be, of course, breaking of the sixth seal (The fall of celestial signs/bodies) in which involves eathquakes (like how the ground violently shook when the red beetles rose from the well during Asra and the apprentice’s investigation), a darkened sun, blood red moon  (oohh red, its hinting the ubiquity of the red beetles). Plus! Here's the catch. The tarot cards after Death- XIII will be as follows: Temperance- XIV, The Devil-XV, The Tower-XVI, The Star-XVII, The Moon-XVII, The Sun-XVIII. I dont know what lies ahead in the following chapters but I guess it definitely has something to do with the 6th seal and the celestial bodies. Feel free to discuss it with me.  I have a lot of thoughts on the sixth seal and as well as the seventh but I’ll post about it some other time hehe.

SO... one might ask, what happens after breaking the 7 seals? Well, the bible said it will be the start of the second coming. Where Christ will be in a new form and come again on Earth. Now let us compare this to the game. They were all trying to move Lucio to another form right? But in this case, the devil. My conjecture is that the spell didn’t end right because the seals didn’t work/break OR something else was up. In Book X of Asra’s route, Asra gave a comment to Lucio when his seal/symbol glowed. Lucio said to him “For someone with this, you’re high and mighty about following the rules. And look where it got you, your sweet little MC is here by your side.” Asra then answered, “Look where it got you, stuck on the incorporeal plane...” Asra was hinting that the seal had something to do with Lucio’s current form. Thus he wasn’t able to take a new form and completely transform into the devil. If we follow this line of thought, then perhaps if all of the seals are broken, then Lucio will take unto his complete new form.

Additionally, it was stated in the bible that the only one who could open and break the seals would be “the Lion of Judah” and the  "Lamb.”... Lion huh, sound like someone we know, it’s just that he was a, oh i don’t know... caged lion. Or it must just be a coincidence.

Now who is this lamb? Is it the apprentice? Welp, i still don’t know,  maybe the lamb isn’t significant in the story OR maybe it is... Anyone has an idea? The apprentice somehow has something to do with what happened to Lucio, seeing as all of those who participated have lost their memories, including the apprentice. But why the memory loss? Asra said that Julian and Nadia “chose to forget” and I bet Asra and Muriel remembered everything... but how about the apprentice? And where does Valerius fit in? I have my own theories too, but I’ll discuss them in another post since this post is getting longer than I expected haha.

Again these are just some theories and hullabaloos that have plagued my mind ever since. Feel free to add your thoughts on this~ I may or may not have articulated this properly tho haha but I tried my best to explain each point.

[boss-hoody]

A Kingdom Hearts 3: world-by-world review I guess

when I say “Area” I mean parts of the world separated by loading screen OLYMPUS Consisting of 3 areas, Olympus had itself a major upgrade from its past appearances. The Colosseum is nowhere to be seen, (same with the underworld), and has been replaced by a large town and Mount Olympus itself. The third area you visit in Olympus is “realm of the gods”, and the presentation of this area’s entrance was a legitimate “Stop and look at how pretty this is” moment The gameplay in this world was pretty varied, as it served as your tutorial world, teaching you the various forms of movement and combat the game has to offer, as well as showing you early that enemies can have elemental weaknesses. Story wise, Sora is there to ask Herc’s advice on how to regain the power he lost and ends up showing up at the wrong (right?) time as Hades has finally put his 18 year plan into action and released the titans (All four of them this time)

The (very nice) cutscene that brings us into this world is also the one and only mention and appearance of Final Fantasy characters (Cloud and Auron) in the entire game’s story, which is extremely disappointing and a mark against the game as a whole. 4/5

TWILIGHT TOWN I was really looking forward to jumping back into Twilight town, exploring the streets, the tunnels, and all that again. But sadly, Twilight town, while receiving an aesthetic upgrade, only consists of 1 area consisting of Tram common (Now called “the neighbourhood), the forest and mansion, and a single tunnel connecting them (the hole in the wall is gone). There is no exploration of the mansion.

Its also home to the cooking mini game

2/5 (1 point for cooking mini game which is surprisingly fun, and 1 point only because of the atmosphere created by the NPCs and music)

KINGDOM OF CORONA This world is where the game really sines for the first time. Olympus was great, but it was clearly designed as a tutorial area, and Twilight Town lacked anything resembling gameplay content, but Kingdom of Corona makes up for that quickly with a vast forest and a small lively town to explore. Rapunzel constantly wanders off to look at things, which create a number of small character moments and not-quite-mini games you need to do to progress and also helps to make Sora seem more involved. The dancing actual-mini game in the town square was pretty fun once I got the hang of it and realized the symbols on the floor corresponded to buttons based on color, not shape.

Story wise it was a bit janky. The story follows the plot of the movie (Unlike Toy Box, which seems to take place somewhere between Toy story 1 and 2), but Sora becomes separated from Flynn and Punz a couple times, and story progresses without him or us present. At some point Flynn told Rapunzel his real name apparently? And Flynn was knocked out and tied to a boat but we never see it happening. He’s just suddenly tied to a boat an unconscious. Rapunzel’s healing hair comes out of nowhere, as does the song sung to make its magic work. When she rubs her hair on his wound and starts singing as he lay there dying, you might be extremely confused if you hadn’t seen the movie. And by “Might” I mean “WILL”

This world did something interesting with its music that I wish Toy Box had done. When you enter a certain area of the forest, the music (and battle music) change to suit the atmosphere of the area. It was a small touch but it was appreciated and missed once I got to Toy Box...

This is also the first world where we encounter the Nobodies.

4/5. It loses a point for the janky story, but everything else was great

TOY BOX Consisting of two areas, Toy box becomes massive as soon as you leave Andy’s room. It was bizarre running around in a photo realistic suburban street as a tiny toy, (and the fact that you’re a toy in this world is the only reason I like it) and the toy store, Galaxy Toys, is a massive 3 floor area full of toy mechs (seriously they spawn in with regular enemies, you can end up with 5 of them on you very fast).

The mech gameplay was surprisingly fleshed out for a one-world wonder. There are three types of mechs, red, blue, and purple, and they seem to work in a rock-paper-scissors type of deal. Purple has an advantage on red, red has an advantage on blue, and blue has an advantage on purple. Each of the mechs has a different amount of health and firing speed to balance them out further.

The world loses points with me however due to the fact that an instrumental version of “You’ve got a friend in me” is playing throughout the whole world. It became grating very fast and its still stuck in my head.

3.5/5

MONSTEROPLOUS  Taking place almost entirely in doors, this world feels a lot like Kingdom Hearts 2 in the worst way (Hallway, arena, hallway), broken up by rail segments. The “arena” sections at least try to keep things interesting though, with one becoming a  “the walls are a hazard” type of deal. This world introduces us to the Unversed and is actually the only world where they appear, so there’s not many of them.

The battle music in this world was also great. I don’t know, there was just something about it that jived with me.

Story wise, this world takes place after the first Monster’s Inc movie. Sully is the CEO, and laugh energy is the new hotness. Randal is back thanks to his new friend and literally wants to make all children suffer chronic depression forever because, while its not as strong as laughter, sadness is a far more abundant form of energy or something.

Other than that, there’s not much to say about this world. Its not bad, but its not great

3/5 (the fact that it has its own story instead of following the plot of the movie earns it an additional point.

ARENDELLE This was the first world where it really felt like “Disney shenanigans”. Sora was just kind of there while the plot of Frozen happened, and like with Tangled, the story progressed without Sora or us present, and again, if you hadn’t seen the movie, you’d be lost. Unlike tangled, it lacked little character interactions to at least make Sora feel connected in some way.

The boss in this world was a combination of amazing cinematic attacks and a rehash of Scar in KH2, and your Disney buddy for this world was a legitimate surprise.

I enjoyed the reindeer Heartless in this world too. Not only do they take huge damage from fire, but it also melts their antlers, preventing them from using their annoying attacks. However Donald the super-genius would often hit them with Blizzard which would give their antlers back...

2/5

THE CARIBBEAN  This world. THIS FUCKING WORLD Its so good. Its perfect. Its like its own game There’s a huge ocean full of little islands to explore, the under water combat WORKS and is FUN. The primary heartless you’ll run into under water is a fish that changes color, and is weak to a different element depending on said color, giving you something to think about while fighting it. You can just wale on it if you want, or you can use magic and work out its weakness to dispatch it quickly.

You get your own pirate ship. SORA FINALLY LIVIN THE DREAM! The pirate ship can be upgraded for more health and canons by finding white crabs (Can’t explain how that works without spoilers), it has its own reaction commands that devastate enemy ships, OH and there are ENEMY SHIPS. SHIP BATTLES. SHIP ON SHIP COMBAT

Again tho, like with Tangled and Frozen, the story likes to progress while Sora is off dicking around. However, the supporting characters do a better job of explaining what happened while Sora was AFK than anyone in Corona or Arendelle did. The fact that Sora is already familiar with most of the cast thanks to KH2 also helps this along a bit tho. Sora doesn’t feel completely tacked on despite being completely tacked on.

This world suffers even more severely from what it suffered from in KH2 tho. That being IT IS EXTREMELY JARRING AND IMMERSION BREAKING TO SEE CARTOON-ASS SORA, DONALD AND GOOFY CHILLING OUT WITH HYPER REALISTIC JOHNNY DEPP AND CO

Despite the negatives, the gameplay of this world makes up for all of it

7.5/5: Too much water

SAN FRANSOKIO The story does what Kingdom Hearts 3 worlds haven proven to do best and does its own thing. Sora arrives in San fransokyo some time after the events of Big Hero 6. Hiro has built a new Baymax but is still torn up about the original his brother built being lost to the void, and now weird robot heartless are attacking (Hint: Bring thunder) Sora makes fast friends with the crew (as he tends to do) and through helping them with the heartless, gives each member ideas on how they can upgrade their gear.

The world consists of 2 areas. Hiro’s garage, and downtown San Fransokyo, which is basically mini spider-man PS4. While in Hero’s garage, you can choose to explore the city during the day or night. Heartless do not appear during the day, so if you just wanna run around and explore, find treasure and hidden mickey’s, hit the town during the day. But if you’re looking to level up (and this is the final world with enemy spawns so you will be) then you should hit the town at night.

While the downtown area is small (especially just coming off the open seas of the pirates world), it makes up for it in both verticality and density.

4/5 (Extra point added for the presence of Thigh queen Go Go Tomago)

100 ACRE WOOD Its a single area with 3 almost identical mini games, it’ll take you about 20 minutes to get through, there’s a keyblade at the end, 0/5

KEYBLADE GRAVEYARD This is the final world of the game and serves as the site for the final battles with the organization. Its basically a series of arena matches where Sora teams up with one or more of his friends to take on multiple members of the organization at once. It dominoes into the final conflict with the 3 main Norts. Young, Heartless, and Nobody all at once while Old man watches and throws Keyblades at you occasionally. 

Gameplay is all boss combat. Story is all PLOT

5/5 on both counts

THE FINAL WORLD Okay no THIS is the final world. Literally. Its entirely main plot based so I won’t go into any actual detail. It consists of a single room which is a giant cube puzzle (Not like the movie “Cube”, like you’re standing on a big cube thing). Which would be SUPER cool if it weren’t for the fact that Sora’s flow motion abilities completely break it.

Plot wise 5/5 Gameplay wise 1/5

SCALA AD CAELUM OKAY NO THIS IS THE REAL FINAL WORLD FOR REAL A city located in the past, this is the site of the true final battle with Xehanort and his 12 selves. you go up against the 12 all at once (they seem to share a health bar tho so its not that bad) as they utilize their own weapons (Xigbar’s guns, Marluxia’s scythe, etc, etc) to just honestly beat the hell out of you. A small section of town serves as your arena, making this perhaps the most geographically diverse fighting arena in the game’s history.

Once those naughty bois are shut down, Xehanort is like “Wanna see something cool?” and tosses you into a legitimately disorientating arena for the beginning of the final showdown between peace boy and naughty grandpa

There’s no gameplay here outside of combat and plot but its a 5/5 none the less

FINAL THOUGHTS This game was at its best when it wasn’t rehashing the plots of the worlds it visited (Tangled, Frozen, Pirates), but either doing its own thing (you know, the Kingdom Hearts plot?), creating new plots set in the worlds visited (Big Hero 6, toy Story, Monsters Inc.) or somehow doing a combo of the 3 (Hercules)

I found it EXTREMELY disappointing that all traces of original Square Enix characters are just gone. We get a single mention of Cloud and Auron in an exposition dump at the beginning of Olympus and thats it. And before you mention the main Nomura OC cast: they’re owned by Disney, not Square.

The game wrapped up pretty much all the major plot points and answered a lot of long standing questions, but also didn’t answer one question in particular that I’m sure has driven a lot of us into the depth of insanity. It also posses a couple new questions, such as “Who?” and “How?” and “What the fuck?” 

Overall, this game is at its best when its focusing on the main plot, with everything in between feeling more like filler... So a standard Kingdom Hearts game.

In the end, despite the lack of FF, and the falling into disney shenanigans, this was a great game and an excellent ending to the dark seeker saga. Going forward, I hope the future games (and there definitely will be future games, this is by no means the end of Kingdom Hearts) don’t do what this saga did and spread the plot over 200 games on 200 different consoles over 200 god damn years. If thats the case I think KH3 will be my jumping-off point. However, if they’ve come to their senses and choose to release the next saga of games like normal human beings instead of depraved madmen, I am 100% on board. However, seeing as Nomura is a depraved madman (see FFXV development for details) I am extremely cautious in my optimism.

Final score from me is 4.5/5: WHATS IN THE BOX?!